#he's so loud this episode about how much he loves Sam

[milquetoast-on-acid]

I completely forgot that Jack attempts to sacrifice himself for Carter in "divide and conquer". That he volunteered to be the lab rat so they could study his brain in order to help Carter live a normal life. 😭😭😭

[i-think-he-is-adorable-too]

In your dreams

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Summary: You had just gone to sleep, only to find him in your dreams. Could he be real or is he just a figment of your imagination.

A/N: Hello! I have this idea for a series, let me know if you would like to read it and I will keep writing it. I promise! If you like it I will stablish a calendar and post regularly. What do you think? Should I do it? Let me know!

It almost felt like it started out of nowhere, but if you were to really think about it, you would remember how much your soul yearned for it, specially that night.

You had fallen asleep crying into your pillow, muffling the sounds to not wake up anyone. Next thing you know you were standing in a simple motel room with two double beds and a tv. The man sitting on the bed was mumbling to himself while trying to fix the remote control. The moment you set your eyes on him, even from behind, you recognized him. You could have thought about the actor who played him, but somehow you knew. Ultimately it was your dream.

 “Dean?” you wondered out loud. He stood up and turned to face you quickly. “Who are you? What are you doing in my dreams?” He asked. You stared at him confused, “What do you mean? This is my dream.” You clarified. “No, no, sweetheart. This is my dream, I’m really sure about it.” He argued. “Well, we can agree to disagree. Because I’m certain it´s my dream. After all you are fictional.” You responded.

“Woah, whoa. Stop right there. What do you mean fictional?” He demanded. “You are not real, you Dean Winchester are a fictional character from Supernatural, and you are played by Jensen Ackles.” You said exasperated. You had thought this dream would be good, it wasn’t every night you dreamt of your favorite fictional boyfriend, but the conversation was getting ridiculous. You have had crazy dreams, but here you were, explaining to a tv character that he wasn’t real.

He threw his head into his hands and said “Not this again. Are you an angel? Have I been sent into that weird world again where Sam is married to Ruby?”

“What? No, that was just an episode. And that’s actually similar to my world, but you haven’t been sent anywhere, because you are just a figment of my imagination.” You explained. “But that’s just the thing sweetheart, I’m real. You however, I have my doubts, I probably saw you somewhere on the street and my mind is toying with me.” He finished thoughtful. “And anyway, even if you were real, and I was fictional, why would you be dreaming of me?” He asked teasingly.

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and you stopped making eye contact. Great, now your subconscious was embarrassing you. “No reason, you know how dreams can be.” You said downplaying it. He walked towards you. “Sorry to disappoint sweetheart but it won’t be that kind of dream… unless you really want it to be.” He winked, looked at the bed and laughed. “Stop it” You said, blushing.

“So… now that we have stablished that neither of us believes the other one is real, and if you were, you would probably be in love with me. I’d like to know your name.” He expressed. You rolled your eyes, trying to act unaffected. “Y/N” You said. “My name is Y/N”

“Y/N” he tested your name “I like it. It fits you.” He continued while watching you intensely. You felt a little dizzy, probably because you were holding your breath. It felt as if his eyes were really pulling you in. He took another step towards you, and before you could say anything else, you heard your alarm ring and opened your eyes to find yourself back in your bed.

[sunflowerchester]

As someone who stopped watching Supernatural because I couldn’t stomach the way Sam was treated by the show and loud portions of the fanbase, it’s been really lovely to listen to your podcast. It’s been so nice to listen to others who really understand him and the story, it reminds me of how much I love Sam and the early seasons. Thanks so much for doing this!

I cannot begin to tell you how much this message, and honestly all other messages/comments, have meant to us. We love Supernatural and Sam so much and this podcast is genuinely a love letter to Sam, to Jared's hard work, but especially to fans like us who needed a space where Sam was discussed and appreciated in the ways we know he deserves!

Tomorrow we're recording the final episode of S1 but I'm already so excited to continue to S2. We have a lot of little goodies planned for our listeners to go along with the next season, which we'll probably start recording in the fall.

We're trying to put some Patreon tiers together that will provide early releases, extra content, listener write-in discussions, a Sam-fan-centric community, and much more! For now the Retrospective email is posted on our IG: samgirlretrospectivepod@gmail.com. If you have feedback, questions, or just thoughts on current pod episodes, feel free to reach out. Just put in the subject line what you're reaching out about. We may use them on later email bonus write-in episodes or possibly even at the beginning of some S1 episodes yet to be posted!

As long as you guys want to hear our takes, we'll be giving them. God knows there is an endless amount of content to work through with Supernatural! We cannot thank you and anyone who listens enough for letting us share the podcast with you!

Love,

-Audree, @peanutbutterandbananasandwichs, @agelade, @geekinthejeep, & @themegalosaurus 💕

[piko-power]

Being a Sonamy fan is hard (and just being an Amy Rose fan in general)

*quick note, I have only seen a few leaks regarding Sonic X Shadow Generations so take this post with a grain of salt and please add in some stuff about the game that I should be aware of because I have a feeling that this post might be incorrect about a lot of things*

*contains possible Sonic X Shadow Generations spoilers*

Being in love with Sonic isn't Amy's only trait. She is something more. She's a baker, a tarot card user, she's got a strong heart of gold, and is just a passionate and cheerful cute little weird girl.

As a Sonamy fan, these "changes" are nothing special or big, it's still just Amy being Amy, but this time more than just wanting to be with Sonic. I am aware of that one edit where Amy was trying to give Sonic cupcakes. It's really cute, but it's not the same without the hand over her face. Am I complaining? Yes, and no, it's hard to describe. (I don't have the image with me atm but in the future I'll edited in on this post)

I'm not complaining because we are seeing Amy just doing more than just, loving over Sonic. She still is in that cutscene, and most of the game as far as I'm concerned (I haven't seen all of the leaks), but in a more calmer fashion.

But at the same time, I am complaining because, and I highly doubt SEGA is doing this, at least on purpose, but Amy's crush on Sonic feels like is getting buried in a way.

I kind of worry that a newer generation of Sonic fans will never find out about Amy's crush for Sonic, or just how wonderful their dynamic in general is if this keeps going on.

I know it won't, but still, we haven't been seeing that a lot. But at least if you want to introduce new fans Sonic and Amy's dynamic, platonically or romantically, make sure to not bring up Heroes or a couple of X episodes please LMAO

(But that one episode where Amy and Sam talk about her relationship with Sonic, yeah, bring that one up. OH. and the last episode of Season 2, don't forget about that one.)

Look, we're all high on Son/adow right now, and it feels good, but what about Sonamy? Sonamy and Son/adow have a lot in common and are both really good with angst potential and lots of great character interactions. At least in my opinion anyway. (Topic for another day, if I'm brave enough)

I love them both equally, so I want to see an equal amount of hedgehog dorks being together. Or better yet, Sonamyshad. 😎

But I'm getting slight off-topic...

I don't want Amy's crush to be forgotten. You don't even have to like Sonamy to understand why and how Amy's feelings for him is actually really important for her character. (Again, topic for another day)

I mean, of course, some reasons as of why relate to my personal headcanons, but there are other good in-canon reasons, too!

Hell, even Sonic and Amy's friendship is just as important. They don't have to be a couple, but that doesn't mean we have to pretend that Amy never fell in love with the hedgehog who saved her life in more ways than one.

I also don't want how much Sonic and Amy's relationship improved throughout the years to be forgotten, either. This is why I'd rather have the shot of Sonic's covering her face with his hand, because he wouldn't do this today, and that's the point of all this...

They both started off as goofy, little kids, one wanting to share her love like wildfire, and the other always running off, not understanding the concept of love, and, of course, not loving her back.

Amy was much more loud and expressive about her love, and Sonic, while he knows there is good in Amy, does not want to be part of a relationship, and doesn't know how to talk things out about it, even with Amy not taking "no" for an answer. The solution? Just run away lol

Yeah, there are times where he called her a "pain" and thought of her as "annoying," but those times he was either in a hurry, or in a bad mood. Remember: They were both younger at the time, so it's in-character for Sonic at that age.

Sonic and Amy don't have a lot of moments where they're just, together. And not just for a "date." Sonic doesn't know a lot about Amy other than her love for him. ...Okay, some things he does know, but not a lot.

Their relationship was beginning to shift after the events of Lost World and especially after Forces, which I would explain, but I'm gonna put a link here because I don't want this post to be too long.

But if you have read it, then the next couple of texts would have some context lol

Anyways, after all that, Sonic and Amy's relationship was a lot different now. Amy was more calm but still cheerful, just not showing a lot of her love for Sonic because she's fully aware that none of that is important, and Sonic was more gentle around her because he wanted to be better than how he acted towards her for a while.

They both just want to hang out and start over as proper friends, but eventually, Sonic would find out what Amy was going through mentally, and how long she kept this from him.

Perhaps after that, Sonic wouldn't mind being closer to Amy, but he still has a world to look after. But hey, maybe slowing down and letting Amy catch up with him won't be so bad. Besides, he's finally seeing her happy with just him for the first time in a while, and he never realized just how much he missed it until now.

Buuuuut, those are just my headcanons, like I mentioned earlier. We all have our reasons why we love or dislike a ship (as long as it's not gross), and I have my own.

These two, just like son/adow, hold a special place in my heart because of what I went through myself, and how much they both have grown, and I truly hope that their relationship and friendship won't be forgotten.

I know it won't happen, but I still have that feeling... Probably because no body cares about their dynamic as much anymore.

Because of the past and people misinterpreting the ship, and Amy's character as a whole, the fandom seemed to care less about it. I mean, I don't blame them, but... it's still pretty messed up.

It's fine if you don't like sonamy, but I really hope you dislike it for a genuine reason, and not just because of some fans getting some things, or worse, everything about Amy and/or the ship wrong.

Amy's character arcs through the games, and her and Sonic's dynamic through the years have been overlooked as far as I'm concerned. Not like heavily overlooked, it's just that it's been a while since I've seen people give a damn about Amy Rose, especially SEGA.

I know we got The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, but I feel like that's not enough.

What's going on with Sonic X Shadow Generations is pretty strange, but first of all, it's not Ian's fault god dammit, and second, I don't see it as a big deal. I haven't seen most of the leaks, but as far as I'm concerned, it's not that bad.

(But I have heard about that one cutscene with Knuckles and Classic Sonic and I couldn't help but laugh my ass off over it XD)

But with how the game is handling Amy, please be aware that this isn't the first time this happened, and it's not even that bad either. I mean, yeah I did mention how I'm worried about it, but I was over it once, I'll get over it again lol

There have been discussions about this since the Fast Friends Forever bio thing that happened last year, and I'm getting kind of tired of the arguments by now.

Amy stopped chasing Sonic not because she doesn't love him anymore, but because she doesn't need too. She is part of the team and has been closer with Sonic for a long time now. She doesn't need to follow them around when she already have proven herself to be useful and a fighter.

I'm really happy Amy is being recognized as something more than having a crush on Sonic, but having a crush is the heart of Amy's character.

Looking up to Sonic and wanting to be like him is what made Amy Rose... well, Amy Rose. She pushed herself and fought hard to be the person she wanted to be, and it's all thanks to Sonic.

He inspired a lot of people around him, especially Amy, so it's no wonder why she loves him so much. Plus, her tarot cards told her that he would be the love of her life, but I feel like even if the cards are wrong (not saying they are lol), she still loves him.

I want Amy's feelings for Sonic, and their friendship and their potential relationship to be remembered for a long time. I don't want them to be pushed to the side forever.

I don't want people to believe that her crush is her only trait, even though it's so important to her character.

I don't want Amy to change too much. Friends or not, I don't want her to give up on Sonic entirely.

I don't want this fandom to forget about Amy Rose.

[pagannatural]

2.15 Tall Tales

-once again we have an earth-shattering revelation episode followed by silly sibling hijinks episode. Last episode Dean confirmed out loud he would rather die than kill Sam and that he is devoted body and soul to saving him. Now he is eating sloppily from a takeout container on Sam’s bed. Fascinating ecosystem.

-so Dean is on Sam’s bed. He likes hanging out and making a show of being annoying while lying on Sam’s bed. He must want Sam’s attention because it seems territorial. He’s licking his fingers and smacking his lips and being as loud and expansive as possible. Maybe Dean is reclaiming Sam in some way after he was possessed last episode by laying claim on his space.

-Sam asks Dean to turn down his music so Dean turns it up, and the song is actually so fucking perfect look at the lyrics

I could really just highlight the entire song. It’s about someone avoiding talking to the subject and the subject feeling out of their mind lonely about it.

It sets the tone for the whole episode and adds meaning to why they’re getting on each other’s nerves so badly. They’re avoiding talking about the big thing on their minds and subsequently picking at other things and at each other. Again, they’re lonely when there’s distance between them and they don’t feel they belong to each other.

-Sam and Dean recount their investigation into the case so far to Bobby. It’s a storytelling device that allows us to see into the characters’ perspectives and the ways in which they are unreliable narrators.

Sam recalls Dean being a sloppy drunk and basically asking him to have a foursome with him, a girl at the bar, and her sister. He recalls Dean leering at him and wiggling his eyebrows and Starla drunkenly hanging off of Dean, doing the same. It very much seems as though Dean and Starla are suggesting a small, incestuous orgie.

Sam turns up his nose because Dean is drunk and he thinks the girl is trashy and tanked. His judgment toward her is palpable and betrays his jealousy. It’s also a glimpse into the way he perceives Dean’s attempts at setting him up—he recognizes Dean’s interest in him sexually, he remembers when this happens, but he doesn’t think it’s serious because he thinks it’s about the girls rather than about him. Dean is a himbo in his story, kind of without intention or feeling.

Dean, however, describes hitting it off with a woman who is a classy grad student. He remembers Sam being extremely feminine and prissy and confronting him about making out with a woman like he’s Dean’s nagging girlfriend.

Trying to set Sam up is not a part of his story, instead he tells it like he’s the center of attention and Sam is jealous. It makes me wonder if Dean is self conscious about how he treats Sam, how he often involves him in his sex life. Later in the series Dean is described as “needy” more than once in the context of his relationship with Sam as a way to taunt both of them. It’s interesting that Dean would feel shame about needing Sam, whereas Sam’s shame is never really about needing Dean. This is one of the dynamics in their relationship that tends to operate consistently in the background for the entire show, and I see it as a birth order thing. Dean as the older sibling feels responsible for Sam, so he can’t be clingy and unhinged the way that Sam sometimes is without really thinking anything of it.

Dean also portrays Sam as feminine. Like, flamboyant. It’s probably easier for Dean to focus on Sam’s sexuality and make fun of him for being gay rather than take him seriously for being in love with him. So Dean is doing the same thing Sam is doing, dismissing Sam’s intentions and chalking his behavior up to something else.

Both stories are defensive in their own ways: Dean paints himself as totally uninterested in Sam. Sam paints Dean as indiscriminate and careless in his attentions but wanting Sam to join in. Common elements are Dean’s attention being on someone else and Sam being jealous. The variables are the why’s.

-Bobby: you’re bickering like an old married couple

Dean: no see married couples can get divorced

Okay so you’re not like an old married couple—not because you’re not married or because you’re not a couple, but because your connection is more permanent? Okay!

The brothers say they’re more like conjoined twins which is wild because regular siblings get on each other’s nerves plenty but they are not regular siblings and that description is not enough for them so they describe themselves as physically part of each other. Over and over we’re told that actually they are not “just brothers” like Sam said in Playthings.

-Dean was watching porn on Sam’s laptop. He eats in Sam’s bed and jerks off with Sam’s laptop and it’s like he’s a dog getting his scent on everything Sam touches.

-Sam gives Dean the sassiest look anyone’s ever given anyone

and I’m including it in this analysis because it’s giving major fem vibes.

-the alien story is actually super fucked up and horrifying, although it’s clearly played as a joke. The guy says he was probed and forced to slow dance. The brothers seem to be telling this particular story together in a shared perspective, because it’s already embarrassing for them to hear and talk about, and underneath the bickering they respect and understand each other.

-the next interview is Dean’s telling, and in it Sam is acting emotional and over-sympathetic and Dean says “you’re always saying pansy stuff like that.” Sam is once again caricatured as feminine and clingy. Dean puts a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder and says It’s okay, and Sam’s face crumples. So in Dean’s retelling, he’s Sam’s shoulder to cry on when Sam is over emotional.

- Dean is reasoning through the connections in the cases and says the punishments are almost poetic “or actually it’d be more like a limerick” and sorry was anyone going to talk about Dean’s knowledge and interest in poetry?? I LOVE poetry but I didn’t technically know what the fuck a limerick was (so I googled it) and it’s a short poem that’s funny or silly in content. Dean is well-read. It would make SO much sense for him to be well-read because when he was younger he longed for more of a connection to the world outside of Sam and John and being locked in motel rooms, and reading would have been a good way for him to do that. He seems to enjoy fiction and characters he can relate to. It probably makes him feel less isolated.

-The brothers’ arguments this episode reveal such interesting glimpses into their life. Sam says “I don’t lose things” which would have been important as a child living out of motels trying to maintain his grades and seem normal. He probably learned as a child that he can’t just forget his things somewhere and go back to look for it later or call people he knows. If he leaves something in a motel room, that’s it, it’s gone forever, they will never go back and no one is finding and mailing it to him. I wonder if that’s also why he’s so particular about Dean not touching his stuff, because he had so little that was his. He probably got Dean’s hand-me-downs, and he had to share Dean himself with their dad which he famously hated.

Sam also says that Dean’s socks are in the sink. The only reason I can imagine for Dean’s socks being in the sink rather than just like, Dean leaving his dirty socks on the floor, is that he must’ve been washing them in the sink. Do they hand wash their clothing in motel sinks? It must be more convenient than going to a laundromat sometimes.

Sam also comments on Dean’s food going bad in the fridge. I read a whole essay on how this connects to Dean’s food insecurity, which makes sense to me. It also could be that he’s just kinda messy and doesn’t throw away his gross old food. I think Dean tends to get messier the more stressed out he is. He’s one of those people you can tell how he’s doing mentally by how his space looks— if he’s angry he’s breaking shit, stressed he’s looking worse for wear, happy he’s got everything neat and clean and starts nesting. Not to mention taking care of the Impala, his and Sam’s childhood home, is his pride and joy and one of the only mainstays in his life. His self care is very visible.

He is stressed as shit right now. Maybe eating greasy food on Sam’s bed is a cry for help and wanting Sam to talk to him about everything but not knowing how to bring it up.

-they fight over some money. It’s really something.

They are rolling around in bed grunting. Sam initiated the physicality of this fight by tackling Dean. It seems like a shared telling of what happened, and a good time to remember that the brothers have told wildly different stories and are both trying to make themselves seem as normal, cool, and under control as possible in these stories. And yet still they’re telling about the time they were rolling around and grunting in bed passionately. I’ll just leave that there.

-Sam pauses on the rush to the car with Bobby after driving a stake through the trickster’s heart. He starts apologizing to Dean, sincerity on his features, and Dean picks up on his intention and assures Sam “me too.” They gaze at each other lovingly over the roof of the Impala until Bobby interrupts and asks them to move it along.

-episode theme is perception, deception, and things not being what they appear. The trickster (Gabriel) casts illusions and the format of the narrative highlights how differently Sam and Dean can see the same story. They’re not seeing each other clearly, and they’re hiding from themselves, and it makes them lonely.

[mxssingmemories]

brave // sam and dean x sister!reader

summary: you've been battling a secret addiction for months. when your brothers finally notice, they do their best to get you through it.

wc: 2k~

warnings: weed, angsty shit, withdrawal, drug use

a/n: this was written for the one and only @supernerdycookietrashblrr! hope ya like it, sorry it took so long

You knew that one of your brothers would catch on soon enough. They were both incredibly observant thanks to years of being in the hunting business, so it didn't surprise you when Sam caught on after only a month.

He'd noticed little things first. You stopped bringing home papers or report cards with big fat A's written on the front in red ink. Then came the attitude.

You're a sweet teenager, or at least you were. At 16, Sam knew you might be prone to episodes of attitude or teenage rebellion. What he wasn't prepared for was the constant snarky attitude, and, for lack of a better word, downright bitchy behavior. He genuinely had no idea what to do, and it steadily got worse as he put off having the conversation he knew he had to have with you. 

The turning point for him came when your appearance changed drastically. Your eyes were bloodshot almost every time he looked at you, and your shaky hands were obvious as you tried to hold your gun steady. Your safety on hunts-and possibly in daily life-was obviously at risk, and he wasn't going to leave that alone.

"Jesus, Dean! How can you not see it? She's fucking shaking! Her eyes are always bloodshot and she's got the attitude of a drug addict!" he shouted, the volume of it making the sound travel to your room. Your heart beat faster in your chest as you tried to ignore it, putting headphones in your ears as you blinked away the stray tears in your eyes. 

With a sigh, you pulled a joint out from the container under your bed. Your hand finally grabbed a lighter after fumbling for one for what felt like an hour. You flicked the lighter open, watching the flame dance for a minute before bringing it to the tip of the joint. 

A loud cough was forced out of you as you inhaled deeply, the smoke temporarily filling your lungs as you allowed yourself to zone out. You continued this process until the joint was almost gone, the lines of reality blurring sweetly as you allowed yourself to feel. You were pleasantly distracted, seemingly watching everything from third person.

You were so out of it, though, that you missed the knock at the door. You also missed the more frantic ones after thirty seconds, and the door slamming open. Unfortunately, you didn't miss Sam's loud yell.

"What the fuck?!" he shouted, watching you as you immediately threw the lit joint and headphones on the floor.

Angrily, he stomped it out, walking closer to you as fast as humanly possible.

"I fucking knew something was wrong. What the hell, kid? Why didn't you tell us sooner! We could've caught this shit early! You can't just sit here and get high on God knows what!" he practically screamed in your face. You sat there silently and took it, allowing him to get whatever he needed to say out before you explained yourself. To your credit, thinking was a little hard-you were still high, although thankfully not as much as you were before he walked into the room. The minute he stopped talking, you began.

"You don't get it." you said quietly, teary eyes making contact with fierce ones. "I've tried everything I could. You think I'd want to talk to you about it? Sam, you and Dean are on the road almost every day. I only come on half of the hunts you guys go on, and when I do, I'm usually put to the side like I mean nothing! Do you know how that feels? I know you guys love me but you're shit at showing it!"

"Listen-" Sam started, but you immediately cut him off.

"No! I can't just sit here and listen anymore! I can't even stand being sober! You know I'm high on almost every hunt we go on, right? Did you even notice that?"

At these words, your brother's eyes widened in shock. You knew he probably didn't, but after walking in on you with a joint to your lips you thought he would assume so. It didn't make it hurt any less, either.

"Why do you even care?" you muttered, a sob coming through on your last word. It all hit you in that moment; your brother, who you worked so hard to hide it from, had caught you with a joint in your hand. He didn't even just catch you high, he caught you in the process of doing it. You curled in on yourself almost immediately, not wanting to be more vulnerable than you already were. Your whole body shook as you involuntarily let go.

"Dammit," your brother mumbled as he sat down softly on the bed, hoisting you into his lap as he cradled you in his chest. You were still his little sister no matter what. At that moment, you went from 17 to 7 in his mind, and he let his instincts take over.

You sobbed into his chest quietly as he rocked you back and forth, his hands rubbing your back softly while he reassured you. You let yourself break in that room, your brother's steady arms around you letting you feel safe for the first time in months.

This feeling was disturbed in less than 5 seconds when Dean walked in the room.

He made eye contact with Sam quickly to asses the situation, briefly trying to read his face before giving up and scanning the room. His eyes almost immediately landed on the joint laying on the floor. Dean's jaw clenched the moment he saw it, the look in his eyes turning from concerned to deadly in just a few seconds. 

He picked it up quickly, turning his gaze back to you. The disappointment in his eyes was obvious as he walked over to you both.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he growled, voice strong with frustration. 

You sobbed even harder in Sam's arms, the weight of everything coming down onto your shoulders all at once. The realization of how much you'd hurt yourself and your brothers wasted over you, causing you to curl in on yourself even further.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," you choked out in between sobs, clutching the fabric of your brother's shirt like a lifeline. Dean's face softened ever so slightly as he came to your side, kneeling down in front of you. His voice was gentler than before as you did your best to meet his eyes.

"I know what you're going through, kid. You just have to understand we're here for you, yeah? We're gonna get you help." he reassured, placing a hand on your arm. You instinctively flinched back, tucking your head back into Sam's chest. You missed the look of hurt on Dean's face, his own eyes welling up with tears as he started to process the situation.

Sam signaled for Dean to leave the room for a minute, allowing him to get you in a suitable position and hopefully recover from the situation a little bit. He shifted slightly to where you were sitting up instead of hidden, meeting your eyes with a gentle smile.

"You're alright, kiddo. I've got you. We're gonna get through this, hm? There's a rehab center right around the corner-"

"No. No! No rehab! Please, Sam, I can't do that, you don't understand-" you shouted, almost hyperventilating as you defended yourself. There was nothing worse than that in your current state of mind.

"Okay, okay," he relented, rubbing your back slowly. The tension visibly left your body as you took a deep breath. "We'll try it at home, but if it doesn't work, you know we're gonna have to do that, right?"

You nodded resignedly, leaning back into his chest as you kept breathing as deeply as you could. You would have the difficult conversation in the morning-for now, you just wanted comfort, and Sam was all too willing to give it.

Morning came sooner than you would've liked it to. The bright sun shone through the curtains as you stretched, rubbing your eyes while forcing your feet on the floor. The voices coming from the dining room were quiet; the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the bunker led you to it.

Your presence startled both Sam and Dean, so much so that Dean dropped a piece of bacon on the floor.

"Morning, kid," he greeted you, bending down to grab the bacon. You cringed as he put it right in his mouth, Sam side-eyeing him from the other side of the table.

You hesitated before taking a seat at the table, the tension in the room thick enough that you could cut it with a knife if you wanted to. Sam cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Okay, we've talked about this, and we're going to give this a shot at home." he said, his voice firm but with more compassion than you thought you deserved. "We're going to be here every step of the way, but this means that you're going to have to follow the rules we set, okay? No exceptions."

You nodded gratefully, tears springing in your eyes at the thought that you'd have to live without your friend. Gently, you felt Dean wrap his arms around you, and for once, you let him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into your ear. "I was a dick, and you didn't deserve that. I'm still pissed, but not at you. You're going through more than we knew and I didn't see that. I love you." 

There was no restraint left in you as tears welled up in your eyes. You allowed them to run down your face freely as you buried your face in his shirt.

You could feel the material getting wetter and wetter with each passing second. Either he didn't notice or he didn't care; he just kept holding you through it.

When the tears subsided, you pulled away from your brother. Determination was in your eyes as you looked him in the face, placing a firm smile on your face quickly.

"Thank you," you whispered, turning to Sam. "Both of you."

They both nodded, each having a hold of one of your hands and squeezing gently. The detox would start in a few hours-you'd been smoking at least two joints every day for long enough to know this as a fact-but you let the moment be still for a minute. This calm was something you wanted to have fresh in your mind for the coming hours.

As you'd predicted, the withdrawal hit around midday. The anxiety was the first symptom to come. Your leg shook constantly, the tapping echoing through the living room loudly.

Your brothers exchanged worried glances as they watched you sit on the couch with your head in your hands, the constant fidgeting not going unnoticed by either. Of course they'd done their research on this, so everything was expected, but it hit hard having to see it firsthand.

The next symptom to hit you was unfortunately the nausea. You bolted up quickly from the couch, running to the nearest bathroom just in time to get up the light breakfast you'd had this morning. Two pairs of footsteps trailed behind you, eventually crouching down beside you. Sam held your hair back while Dean rubbed your back, letting you get it all out. 

Once the worst had passed, Sam helped you clean up and guided you carefully back to the couch.

"I can't do this shit," you muttered weakly, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Listen to me," Dean sighed. "Yes you can. Sam's done it, hell I've done it. You are stronger than this you hear me? We'll guide you through it. You know damn well you're never gonna be alone in this," he reassured quietly. 

As his words washed over you, you sat quietly with your hand in his. Somehow he'd managed to stir up a flicker of hope and determination in your heart and you swore right then and there to use it for good.

Days of being sober turned into weeks, those weeks gradually turning into months until you hit one year. 

"Mornin', kiddo," Sam smiled, spatula in his left hand as he waved at you with the other. You smiled back, mumbling your own greeting before sitting down across the table from Dean.

"Today's a big day, hm?" he asked, making eye contact with you from across the table.

"Yeah, it is. Just-" you cut yourself off with a whimper, which surprised the both of you and scared the shit out of Dean, dropping his spatula as he turned to make sure you were alright. Sam's hand instantly covered yours, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand as he urged you to continue.

"Thank you guys for being here. I don't think I could've made it without you. I was a bit of an idiot to think you didn't care and I can't thank you enough for proving you do. I love you both so much," you whispered, allowing a few stray tears to leak out of your eyes.

Dean said nothing as he turned the burner off, walking over and pulling your head into his chest. Sam joined the hug not 5 seconds later, and you let yourself breathe. The sense of safety you felt like this couldn't be compared to anything, and you thanked Chuck for them and their love. 

The thought of even touching weed hadn't come to your mind in at least 5 months. It definitely wasn't easy to get to the place you were now, but you were finally okay. Even though you hadn't said it, it had a lot more to do with your brothers than they thought.

[zmediaoutlet]

spn20rewatch, 1.08: "Kid should stick with his family."

There's a son who doesn't want the life his dad's laying out for him and feels his dad's disappointed in him more than his dad loves him. This tension's so great that it's causing a communication breakdown between the father and the son and bad shit might happen as a result. Where've we heard that before. --Oh, you thought I was talking about Sam.

We tend to make a lot of hay out of the things Sam says he wants versus the things Sam wants to want versus the things Sam actually does, but Dean's in much the same boat, a lot of the time. He just rows that boat a lot more quietly... often by being very loud about something else. You know the con artist tactic -- make a lot of noise and distraction over here, while your hands are doing something else over there? That's often how Dean talks about how he feels about hunting and the hunting life, while his actual impulses are quietly having him demonstrate something else.

Dean's a good son. Dean's loyal. Dean's a hunter and he thinks that dumb normie life is horrible. He'd blow his brains out if he had to grow up in suburbia with a 3br/2ba and a 9-5 and a lawn to mow and stability and good meals and safety and comfort and home. He doesn't want that at all, no sir. Hustling pool and killing monsters and nailing one night stands and being a hero, that's the life for him. 100%. Why would you ever, ever assume otherwise.

With the benefit of rewatch hindsight, it's easy to see that this is -- not a lie, not exactly, but it's certainly not all of the truth. In later episodes we'll get dozens of contradictions to the Dean The Hunter self-told mythology -- dreaming about a stable relationship, absolutely delighted in the bunker they'll later call home, wondering about what life could be like if they were done. But we also know that Dean is loyal, takes his responsibilities (as he sees them) seriously, and that there is no way that he could just -- stop. He'd sooner cut out his own lungs. He has a job to do, and he'll do it, and -- very importantly -- he knows the kind of person he'd be if he didn't. He knows how the moral structure of this universe operates and how much can go wrong if he doesn't obey it, and even if he does think sometimes about giving up, giving in, throwing in the towel and just being done with all this terrible responsibility -- even the thought of it is worth feeling guilty about. You had a job, and you didn't do it? What kind of pathetic piece of shit are you?

DEAN: Dad never treated us like that. SAM: Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember? DEAN: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes, you were out of line. SAM: (scoffs) Right. Right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bowhunting. DEAN: Bowhunting's an important skill.

And so it doesn't matter if you'd rather have played soccer. If you thought maybe you'd like to go to college. If there was a girl you liked in a particular town and you wish you could've stayed. If you wanted to be safe in bed instead of crouching fearful in the dark wanting to be anywhere other than waiting for a monster to catch your scent, because your job right now is to be bait, so that other kids will be safe. Later we'll learn that Dean did talk back and defy John and that as punishment John would send him away from the family unit; that he made the mistake of getting caught stealing, and as punishment he's left in a boy's home. He left Sam for a few hours one night, and Sam almost died, and John didn't even have to say anything because Dean knew how badly his normal wants almost ruined everything.

The above conversation doesn't contradict those later details at all, because what's important is how Dean reacts to those punishments. Whatever internal wants he has don't matter. He has to say out loud and perform out loud that, yes, hunting is important and you must stick with your family and bowhunting is an important skill -- because it is! This is Supernatural and he is a protagonist and he must save people, or he's a wastrel who doesn't deserve screentime. But also -- what would it mean, if he didn't believe that? If he admitted that this wasn't what he wanted? What would it mean about all the choices he'd made, all he'd given up in the defense of this life he performs to the hilt, if he admitted out loud that -- actually --

Safer, in the end, to say that what you want is exactly what you have. Then you don't have to look at what it means about you (and about the family you hold as more important than literally anything else on the earth) that you were willing to give up everything else.

[chronicbeans]

Puppeteer Wally Darling x (G/N) Puppet Reader

idk if this will be a series or just a one off so LET'S GOOOOOO (if you want a part two, let me know in the comments of this post.

TW: Obsessive and Possessive Behavior, Kidnapping? (Can you kidnap a puppet? IDK but we're putting that warning just in case), Controlling Behavior

Wally Darling grins widely as he puppeteers the star of the show, (Y/N) (L/N), in a scene within their home. As sad as he is that he cannot voice them, as well, just bringing their personality to life through their motions is enough for him. Voicing his beloved (Y/N) is all up to Sam, their voice actor/actress. Sam, who also happens to be out sick, today. Just like yesterday. And the day before that...

"Aaannddd... CUT! Great job, Wally. You did great! If only Sam were here. Have you heard any word from them?" The director sits back in their chair, staring at the puppeteer on set. Everybody has been asking him about Sam, today. Why are they asking him? Is it because they don't get along?

"No. Sorry. I haven't heard a word. They don't tell me anything." "Alright. Well, you can go take a break, Wally. You've been filming for about... Woah! I must've lost track! You've been filming for NINE hours straight! Isn't your arm tired from being upright for so long?" Wally shakes his head, grinning as wide as a Cheshire. "I can't feel my arm at this point... but I can keep going! I'm always happy to keep going! (Y/N) means so much to me-!"

"Take a break, Wally... And put that puppet back in the storage, will you?" The director looks over to one of the camera people, telling them to turn off the camera, before muttering to themself "He's an amazing puppeteer, but Jesus... He treats that thing like it's alive..."

He quickly runs to his little office, taking (Y/N) with him. Placing the puppet on his desk, he gives his arms a rest as he lies back in his seat. Letting out a long sigh, he looks over to the limp puppet on his desk. Sitting it up and leaning it against a pile of books and folders, he smiles. Surely, the director won't mind if he keeps (Y/N) out of that dingy old box for a little while... As long as they get back in there by the time he leaves, it should be fine.

"I wonder why everybody keeps asking me about Sam, (Y/N)? Do they think I did something to them? Sure, we don't get along, and they clearly don't have as much passion for you as I do! I would never hurt them, though! Do you think I would hurt them?" He looks down to the puppet, smiling. Of course, it doesn't answer. It still feels nice to act like (Y/N) answers and understands. "Thank you for the kind words. It really helps! I love working with you, but the others can be so stressful, sometimes!"

Wally looks away for a moment, checking a few papers on his desk. His schedule seems rather empty for the next week. He had already gotten most of the filming for the episode done today! Only two more scenes require (Y/N). He wishes that there were a few more, to be honest. He prefers working to having nothing to do all day. Maybe he-

"Where... WHERE AM I?!"

Wally's eyes widen, hearing the familiar voice. He looks over to (Y/N), seeing that they have now toppled over onto their side. Their arms flail slightly, as they squeak out "Where am I?! Who? What?! This isn't the neighborhood!"

As much as he wants to squeal with excitement, they are being rather loud. That, alongside the fact that they are voiced, and still sound like, Sam... and people are a bit suspicious of Wally for some reason... He quickly grabs them, placing a hand over their mouth as he quickly says "Be quiet! Someone might hear! I'll explain as much as I can! Just be... Quiet. Here, let me help you back upright."

He picks the puppet up, feeling them squirm a bit in his hands, then sits them back where they were. They raise their arms, which shake as they do so. As they look up to him, he feels his heart swell with joy.

He doesn't know how this has happened... And, frankly... He doesn't care. (Y/N) is talking! (Y/N) is moving! (Y/N) is... (Y/N) is alive! Shaken, yes, but still alive! It's his greatest wish come true! All the work he's put in to bring this character that he loves oh so much to life... Did he have something to do with this? Did his wish for (Y/N) to be able to talk back, move, and live a life in his world make it actually happen?

It doesn't matter. All that matters is that his little puppet is here, in front of him, and able to truly interact with him.

"What's going on...?" Their legs shift slightly, but not much. "Why do my legs feel weird? I can barely move my legs?!" Wally pats their head, saying "Shh... It'll be alright. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what is going on, either. I can tell you where you are, though. First thing's first, though... I'm Wally Darling! I already know who you are, (Y/N). Before you ask, I'll let you know how I know your name."

He goes through everything. The studio, the show, how they are a puppet. To his shock, they already knew they were a puppet, just not exactly what it meant... They didn't know somebody was controlling them in their world. The poor little thing seems so confused! It looks like their head is spinning!

He picks up (Y/N), grinning from ear to ear as he says "Don't worry, (Y/N)! I'll keep you safe! This world is large and dangerous for a puppet like you! I, as your kind puppeteer, will make sure you are safe from harm!" To his shock, (Y/N) only flails, saying "I want to go back to my world! My neighborhood!"

Wally's eyes widen. They want to go back? To leave him? He knows that it is the right thing to do, but he simply cannot have it. As much as he wants to make his lovely little puppet happy... they can just learn to be happy with him! There's no reason why they can't, right?

A simple shake of his head was all it took for them to visibly lose hope. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I care about you too much to let you go back! Think about it... I explained how your world is a show, right? It is like... think of it like a little lie. Would you rather go back to your world, cursed with the knowledge that everything you say and do, see and hear, and all your friends, are just a lie? That it isn't real? Or would you rather stay here, where everything is real?"

(Y/N) shakes their head, again. "I could go back and tell them the truth! I could let them know what is going on! I could-" "Not if I don't let you. I control what you do in that world. If I don't let you tell them, then you can't." "I still want to go home. I want to see my friends, again. I want to go back to Home and take a rest." "You can take a rest at my house!" "I WANT TO GO HOME!" "Be quiet! The others might notice! I might be treating this like it is normal, but if others saw you moving about, they would scream! Stay still-!"

Wally quickly places his hand over their mouth, again, as the director walks in. "What is going on in here?!" Wally chuckles, nervous, as he says "I'm just practicing my (Y/N) impression! You know, since Sam has been out for a while. We don't want to get behind on episodes just because they are gone! Who knows when they will be back?"

The director's eyes trail to the limp puppet in the man's hands. "I thought I told you to put that thing away! Why do you still have it out?" Wally flinches, quickly thinking of an excuse. "Well, I needed to practice not only the voice, but also puppeteering while talking. Since I usually only have to puppeteer, I thought it would help to practice doing both?" The director sighs, nodding.

Then, the best words he has ever heard come out of their mouth happen.

"Just take that puppet home with you, if you want. You clearly have something wrong in the head to be so... ungodly attached to it. You'd probably would keep it in better condition than when we leave them in the storage boxes, anyway."

With that, the director slammed the door to Wally's office shut. The puppet in Wally's arms began to move once more, looking up to Wally with fear. They immediately begin to squirm, trying to get out of his grasp, only for him to hold them still with ease. "Come on, (Y/N)! Let me show you just how much you'll love it here! I'll show you how happy your show makes the children of this world, as well as how much fun this world can be! Anything for you to stay, (Y/N)!"

He grabs a small, cardboard box, then places the struggling puppet inside. Quickly stapling it shut, he then pokes a few little holes into the top. Yes, technically, a puppet cannot breathe, but he still feels bad keeping them in a dark box during transport. Picking up the box, he takes it to his car, saying "Don't worry. The ride will be short. I love relatively close to the studio! Just stay calm, alright?"

"LET ME OUT! WALLY! WALLY! LET ME GO!!!" The box shuffles in the car seat, the puppet inside clearly being in distress as he drives down the road. "WALLY!" (Y/N) peeks out of one of the holes in the box. "I don't know what you are doing, but you are clearly not being a nice neighbor! LET ME GO!" "It's too late. Even if I wanted to, we are already at my house! Come on, let me show you around!" "You could just drive me back-" "LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND!"

He quickly swoops the box into his arms, carrying it into his house as the puppet inside throws itself against the cardboard walls, attempting to escape. He rushes inside, closing the door behind him, before placing the box on his couch. Popping open the lid, (Y/N) pokes their head out, frantically looking around the room.

Their face would've grown pale, if it could've, as they survey the room. Their expression twists, as much as their felt face could allow, into a look of anxiety and fear. Looking around, Wally is slightly confused. What could be wrong with his home? There isn't anything that is obscene or dangerous, as far as he is aware. Then, it hits him.

This place is Wally sized, not (Y/N) sized. The small puppet, who is only around 3 feet tall, give or take, will have a bit of trouble navigating his home. Especially with the fact that they don't seem used to their puppet body. Normally, he would feel bad or sorry, then help accommodate his beloved little puppet. Considering the fact that they clearly want to escape him, however...

This is perfect.

Even more so, because felt hands won't have as much traction and grip on things like doorknobs, windowsills, and the likes. It's going to be harder for them to try to get out without his permission. As much as he hates knowing that he is making (Y/N) unhappy, it truly is for the best!

"Aww... (Y/N), this will only be for a week! Then, I have to go back to work! Maybe... Maybe, when I puppeteer you at work, on set, you'll go back to your world? Just wait. If my theory is true, you'll be back in no time!" The puppet nods, folding their arms. They look away from Wally, clearly upset and full of dismay.

Wally picks up (Y/N), holding them in his arms gently, almost like he is cradling the most precious thing in the world. To him, he is. Nothing could compare to (Y/N)! The effect they have had on the children who watch the show brings him such joy. The way they talk about kindness, acceptance, generosity, and creativity is all that he has wanted to see in life. He has always wanted that kindness, that acceptance, and affection for himself! Now, he can. Now, he can have (Y/N).

His co-workers may call him crazy, saying something is wrong with him... having crushes on fictional characters is childish in their eyes- something an adult shouldn't do. They've been on his back for him talking to the puppet like it could talk back, how he never seems to let it go, and how his little obsession is made stranger, considering that he puppeteers the character. They've always told him that (Y/N) isn't real and to let go. Jokes on them, because now Wally's precious, sweet (Y/N) is real! They're real and they're his.

[ben-the-hyena]

Watched the first seasons of both Ghosts UK and Ghosts US

And super duper unpopular opinion : I prefer the US version. I find most characters in the UK version mean spirited and not believable as friends, I don't believe they like each other so the fact they act like buddies in the end of the last episode whereas they still couldn't stand each other during the beginning of the same episode annoys me ; in fact in the VERY end they go back into being annoyed at each other's existence. People call the US version "dumbed down, toned down" with more in the face humor etc and it is indeed a big plagiarism of a lot of gags in the UK version, but idk their evolution as friends feels much more natural and fun, and the characters themselve are more likable for the US version with a good soul, whereas most of the characters in the UK version are selfish and self centered and some ghosts should have gone to Hell long ago while the US versions implies it is a sort of Purgatory state and if you don't change your bad habits you go down but if you do you go up

So far just one season but the UK version made me like very few characters, I think I only love Pat as much as Pete from the US version but for everybody else I much prefer their American counterparts, people call them toned down but ironically I find them with more character on the contrary : Sam is cheerful and friendly but secretly anxious and self sabotaging and is much more interesting that edgy Alison who complains about everything and is always moody and trying to be what she isn't just because she found out she has 000.10 percent of noble blood. That doesn't make her endearing to me, especially when she risked everybody's life in the filming episode for thousands of pounds pissed me off. And as for their respective husband's I much prefer Sam's Jay who doesn't want to be here and misses his life in NYC but does a lot of efforts for her because he loves her and understands it's her family manor than Alison's Mike who just follows her where she wants and keeps signing the wrong papers withour talking with her about it first and signs without reading, 2 times already holy shit what a loser. The very fact he ate from a pot pourri thinking they are candies without even getting permission if it was actual candy in his first scene was already a sign

The group of ghosts as a whole is super annoying in the UK version, they are much more space invading, talkative and loud and take no hints when told things, they are essentially human minions ! And Sam's ancestor Hety is much more endearing despite her big flaws and has a clear character evolution rather Alison's Fanny who's just an old critical loud grump who sees whores everywhere. Also I hate that "romantic" ghost that Thomas guy who doesn't take no for an answer and tries to break up a married couple like a yandere and Julian who is a moralless murderous shamelessly scamming sex pest who does nothing without gaining anything in return, Trevor is a much better mix of them who at first passes a fuckboy but the more the season goes the more you see he secretly is a good guy with a façade and standards. Kitty is kinda cute but... idk I am neutral about her. Sometimes she is very funny, sometimes she is annoying af for being so stupid, so neutral. And the Captain, just... not funny, not likable, and a less interesting/fun closeted gay character as Isaac

The only things I liked in the UK version besides Pat and some gags that are super funny and got me laughing out loud are how the burnt peasant got a character development starting to see less Satan everywhere and starting to learn things, how the beheaded ghost feels much more like a character and is funnier than his American counterpart (seriously why the fuck do they never care or talk about Crash ? He doesn't even feel like a character), Robin is very funny and lovable I love him and the ghosts who had died from the Plague are better as a group who love each other and choose to be together in the basement rather than their counterparts who died from Cholera who are stuck there and hate their afterlife and are depressing to think about

But none of them are as good as Thorfin and Sass who are fucking great (ok, Robin is equal), and I really like Isaac X Nigel. Pat and Pete are exactly the same character I love them both, and Pat has the honor to be a real ray of sunshine in a place full of shit

[ca-suffit]

@ anon w/ the take abt sam’s acting. what do you want, a detailed breakdown of all his acting choices throughout the show and an explanation of why they’re good? it’s ultimately subjective. you don’t care for his performance, fine, but he and jacob have been cited as the standouts by critics this entire time for a reason. maybe you’re the one watching a different show beloved? reminding us of this scene and that scene with no elaboration as to why they’re apparently so much better than sam’s performances with no elaboration isn’t proving anything. also “assad fucking carried this show” very much implies that the other cast members aren’t pulling their weight, like jacob and delainey who you also claim to love but clearly just throwing their names around for cover to hide the fact that you’re just a jealous assad/armand stan

(context)

I liked Lestat in 2x7 enough but idk what his accent has been doing this season tbh. I think The Newsreader shows off Sam's acting better than Lestat does. If Assad, Delainey, or Jacob had been in a role as small as Lestat's for a season, nobody would be talking about it as much as Sam gets. Jacob out acts Sam immensely, it's not even comparable. Ppl notice Lestat more bcuz he's white and loud. Louis' is a much more internal character so a lot of acting choices are much more subtle and nobody cares to notice bcuz he's black. This was the first season Assad got to flex as Armand and we saw a range from him as well. I don't hate Sam or Lestat but it does get annoying how he's the only one ever noticed and pushed as if he's the pinnacle of acting. He's still good at what he does but still a lot of ppl *aren't* actually watching for him and yet ppl have to insist it is just bcuz fandom has to center white men or else. Like I wrote here back at the time, when 2x7 first was being viewed, it took over 5 hours for anyone to mention anyone else but Lestat in an episode where *everyone* was giving it their all in emotional performances.

I mean, I didn't write that anon but since u asked for more details....

[gabriels-golden-kazoo]

Just a little longer? I only want to hold you

Word count: 1,676

Tags:

Episode s12e02 Mamma Mia (Supernatural), Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Torture, Psychological Torture, Hallucinations, Witchcraft

Summary:

Sam is shot and captured by the British Men of Letters and tortured for information. He’s not about to give it all up to some assholes with a hot poker and knife, not after facing the devil himself and coming out alive.

But unfortunately for Sam, they quickly work out no amount of ice baths will get him to talk, so they try something else.

Something even the devil himself hadn’t had the balls to try.

——————————————————————————

“You see, Sam, if you answer my questions, you walk right out that door.” A pen gestured to the wooden staircase. “I promise.”

Sam swallowed, his dry throat practically burning, he pulled at the chains silently considering his options. “Pass.”

“Sam-” The voice tried.

“You can ask me any kind of question you want. The answer is going to be the exact same, screw you.” His voice was rough, his face void of any emotion.

“You want to get mad? You want to get mean?” He leant forward in his chair, well, as much as he could with his arms chained behind his back, his eyes narrowing. “I’ve been tortured by the devil himself. So you, you’re just an accent in a pantsuit.” He tilted his head mockingly, a menacing smile that would cause anyone to turn tail and run. “What can you do to me?”

A pen clicked.

The sound of a faucet.

Running water.

The cold like needles digging into his skin, his muscles seizing up, his bones aching.

“Screw you.”

The sudden burning feeling of heat on his foot, flames eating away at the skin.

“Screw you.”

The voices, loud and imposing, his mind and body screaming at him. The glass cutting through his palm like it had so many times before, his blood pouring down his arm.

“Screw you.”

An electric shock coursing through his body.

“Screw you.”

And then, nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam’s eyes lazily flickered open, the sound of covers rustling causing him to roll over, grabbing at the warm body next to him, a reluctant groan filling the dark room as he pulled his angel in close to his chest, tucking him under his chin.

“We have to get up some time, sweetheart.” Gabriel whispered, rubbing his nose against the length of Sam’s neck. “Old Deano will be throwing a fit if he finds out you haven’t briefed me on those names yet.”

“All you have to do is give me the names of the hunters, Sam.”

“Screw you.”

Sam flinched slightly as a sudden burst of pain shot up his leg, he shook it off, his attention going back to Gabriel. “Please don’t bring up my brother when we are literally lying in my bed naked.” Sam’s nose wrinkled slightly. “How would you like it if I brought up Cas right now?”

“Okay, point taken.” The archangel chuckled, craning his head so he could press an apologetic kiss to the space behind Sam’s ear, causing the hunter to shiver slightly, the action making his body tense with pain. Sam couldn’t help but frown with confusion, not that he was given much time to form any thoughts, instantly distracted by the way Gabriel leaned up, lips tracing the shell of his ear as he whispered. “Anyway, do you know how long I’ve been trying to get you like this? Not about to let you put the seven layers of plaid back on after I finally got it off you.”

Sam rolled his eyes fondly, his cheeks pleasantly warm from the gentle hand that was skating up and down his arm in a comforting manner. “It wasn’t seven, you ass.”

“It most certainly was,” Gabriel teased, turning around fully in Sam’s arms so that he could plant his hands on Sam’s warm chest, Sam reluctantly rolling onto his back so that Gabriel could lie down on top of him, the angel’s arms folded on the hunter’s chest as his chin rested on them. “And anyway,” He smirked, “You love my ass.”

Sam made a noncommittal hum, his hand automatically going to Gabriel’s hair, his blunt nails scratching at the base of the angel’s neck, the angel instantly arching into the touch like a love starved cat. Sam couldn’t believe how lucky he was, that he got to have this, to hold Gabriel.

It was so domestic, the pair of them laying in bed, cocooned by the warmth of Sam’s covers, Gabriel snapping up some clothes for them, much to both their dismay. “Wouldn’t have to Samsquatch if you weren’t shaking so much.” He chuckled, thumb brushing against the small pout on Sam’s face.

Sam frowned. “Not sure why, it’s pretty warm in here.”

“What, a cold shower? Is that the best you can do?”

He pressed a light kiss to the pad of Gabriel’s thumb, rolling his eyes again as he tugged at the white t-shirt that Gabriel was wearing. “But if you were really worried about me being cold you would have also given me a shirt as well, not just some extremely hideous plaid pyjama bottoms.”

The angel’s cheeks became a dusted pink, an innocent look on his face, “Well that’s what I’m here for, sweetheart, it’s my job to keep you warm.” He smiled, leaning up to give Sam a peck on the lips that the hunter quickly returned. “And don’t diss the pyjamas,” He whispered against Sam’s lips. “With those on we’re matching.”

Sam looked down, quickly noticing that the angel wasn’t lying, they both wore the same pair of ugly green and pink, with strips of yellow plaid pj bottoms. Like a couple, his mind supplied for him, the thought making his cheeks warm and his heart ache.

“Be glad I stopped there,” Gabriel snickered, clearly not noticing the sudden revelations that Sam was having. “Could have made you wear a shirt now, couldn’t I? Imagine how you would look in a green and pink plaid shirt?”

Sam didn’t say anything, staring silently at the fabric.

“You like them?” Gabriel’s voice dropped to a whisper, his voice suddenly unsure.

The change in Gabriel’s confident nattering snapped Sam out of his thoughts, without hesitation Sam breathed, “I love them.” His hand returned to the angel’s hair so that he could tug him down into a kiss, one that hopefully showed just how much the gesture meant to him.

This must be love, he couldn’t help but think as he felt Gabriel’s relieved laugh vibrate through his throat and chest, the pair so intertwined that Sam could feel every breath that he took, every sound that he made.

The soft smile on his face quickly faltered though, his eyes looking up at the angel that straddled his waist, tracing every inch of Gabriel’s face, checking to see if anything was missing, if anything wasn’t quite right, if it could all just be a dream, or god forbid, a hallucination.

“The names, Sam. How many hunters are in the network?”

“Screw you.”

It was like it wasn’t up to Sam, any time he found himself smiling or a wondrous warmth spread through his chest, he could practically feel it drain from his body, chased away by an all consuming doubt.

Sam couldn't help but fall into the trap, his mind running circles around him as fear consumed him, his smile buried under years of memories, of grief. So distracted that he jumped when Gabriel’s warm fingers closed around his wrist, the motion an attempt at grounding him in the moment, the angel trying to pull him from the depths of his mind.

Gabriel looked at him, head tilted in concern as his thumb brushed the soft skin of Sam’s arm in a calming manner. “What’s going on in that big moose sized head of yours, sweetheart?”

Sam sighed, his voice was small, almost broken as he whispered the question he feared most. “You are here, right? With me?”

The words seemed to shatter the angel, the look of bliss on his face quickly replaced with one of pain. “Sam,” He whispered quietly, the low tone not quite hiding the hurt behind his careful words. “I have done many things, but this isn’t a trick I would pull on you.”

Sam looked away from the former Trickster, the air in the room suddenly thick as he tried to see where he was, nothing was easily identifiable in the dark, no matter how much time he gave his eyes to adjust.

“Hey, no,” Gabriel's voice hardened as he lifted his head, reaching for Sam’s face with his hands, gently pushing the hunter to look back at him. “None of that.” He cupped Sam’s face, his thumb brushing the dark bags under the hunter’s eyes. “I am here, we are here, together.”

“Is it possible that anyone could have been compromised? Bought?”

“Screw you.”

“I- I don’t know if we are,” Sam whispered, leaning into the touch, craving it, fearing it would be ripped away. “If you are.”

Gabriel leaned forward, resting his forehead to Sam’s, their noses brushing against each other. “Sweetheart, there is nowhere else I would rather be. Warm and safe with you.”

Gabriel, where are you?

Please Gabe.

I’ll see you later sweetheart.

“No.” Sam choked, that all familiar wave of grief and defeat washing through him. “No you aren’t Gabriel. You aren’t my Gabriel.” Sam leaned up, pressing his forehead harder against the angel’s, his hand slipping it his hair once more, securing Gabriel in his hold.

“And that’s okay,” He whispered, his voice shaking, his entire body trembling. “Because right now, I just want to hold you, just a little while longer.”

“Sam-“

“Please.” Sam begged, forcing his body to stay relaxed, to stay in the moment. “It’s been so long, I forgot Gabe, I’m forgetting you.” A tear slid down his cheek. “I can’t forget you Gabriel, let me stay.”

“Then answer the question, Sam.” A voice echoed around him, the sound distant, just out of reach. “Tell me what I want to know and you can stay there, with him, for as long as you want.”

“You know what to do, sweetheart.” The figment of Gabriel whispered. “You know what’s right.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes you do,” He insisted, the conviction in his voice startling. “I’ll be here Sam, not gonna let you forget me any time soon.”

Fingers brushed Sam’s cheek, wiping the tears that had sprung forth, soft murmurs urging him to do the right thing on his lips.

“Screw you.”

A sigh. “I really thought you would be smarter than that Sam, oh well.”

[olderthannetfic]

Just like a small question based on that one ask, but... might the lack of brown/black men in popular M/M ships have to do with people trying really hard not to be racist so they just... never feature black/brown men? Because I know several F/F ships with brown/black women, but I can't remember a single M/M or even M/F with a black/brown male love interest... well, maybe Link/Gan or Zelda/Gan? But besides that one... nothing rings a notable bell.

--

There are more than that, anon, even if there aren't a lot.

If we're talking about AO3, Link/Gan has 785 works. Finnpoe has 8,636. Sam/Bucky has 10,591. Do you just not watch live action media?

--

Part of it is "I don't know. I just don't find them hot for some reason..."-style racism. That can shift with time and exposure but there's no instant fix even if someone is interested in changing their own tastes.

Part of it is being instantly screamed at and held to higher standards. (And yes, no matter how much people want to whine and say this isn't true, it is true, and anyone who goes ahead and writes despite the haters will tell you so.)

Part of it is fear of messing up above and beyond fear of reactions. Personally, I think this is toxic white guilt-flavor time-wasting and it's better to try and fail than not try, but it's a massive factor in what some people choose to write.

A lot of it is simply the composition of the mega-franchises that tend to generate the ships with bajillions of works. If we're looking at AO3 circles, the biggest f/f ships are not that big. If you look at m/m ships of the same size, there are some with some guy who is not white and not a pale-skinned Asian.

Here's the AO3 f/f tag where you can directly see what's big in the sidebar.

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor (20389)

Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan (15516)

Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s) (14062)

Clarke Griffin/Lexa (12661)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (11492)

Adora/Catra (She-Ra) (10855)

Amity Blight/Luz Noceda (9751)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (7913)

Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long (7205)

Korra/Asami Sato (6866)

If we exclude nonspecific tags and misplaced dudes, we add:

Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer (6127)

Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler (6120)

Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught (5738)

Luz Noceda and Korra have darker skin. Lana Parrilla is Latina, but is Regina Mills? This isn't exactly some paradise for the diversity you're talking about.

Here's the M/M tag:

Castiel/Dean Winchester (107699)

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski (68231)

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson (65757)

Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (64761)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers (59546)

Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) (48169)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (47119)

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (43665)

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (41631)

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (40374)

Let's exclude some things and see what we get as we head towards the 5-20k range.

Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku (38445)

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V (36025)

Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn (35907)

Keith/Lance (Voltron) (31634)

Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester (30488)

Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (29568)

Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) (28959)

Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin (28191)

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter (27775)

Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou (27193)

Well, we've got Lance. (*shudder*) He's one of the most distasteful and useless stock character types in episode one and is the reason I never bothered to touch Voltron again, but his fans are certainly loud enough about him being Latino.

Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov (26087)

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) (26058)

Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF) (21900)

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson (21897)

Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) (21296)

Original Male Character/Original Male Character (21035)

Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion (20224)

James T. Kirk/Spock (18810)

Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru (18703)

Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin (18147)

Eddie Diaz is Latino.

Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel (17787)

Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager (16950)

Dan Howell/Phil Lester (16818)

Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier (16229)

Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet (16193)

Harry Potter/Severus Snape (15551)

Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich (15539)

Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki (14990)

Keith/Shiro (Voltron) (14816)

Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio (14780)

We've got the Taika Waititi thirsters in this cohort.

Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (14413)

Rodney McKay/John Sheppard (14209)

Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto (13135)

Tartaglia | Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact) (13016)

Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know (12962)

Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto (12878)

Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic (12817)

Loki/Thor (Marvel) (12767)

Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren (12391)

Frank Iero/Gerard Way (12146)

Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams (12050)

Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou (12002)

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga (11898)

Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga (11352)

Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin (11101)

Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith (11088)

Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones (11083)

Loki/Tony Stark (10699)

Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables) (10523)

Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin (10415)

Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield (10312)

Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard (10211)

Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi (9950)

Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne (9944)

Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee (9763)

Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington (9686)

Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru (9625)

Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol (9471)

Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski (9367)

Clint Barton/Phil Coulson (9359)

Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist (9347)

Nico di Angelo/Will Solace (9317)

Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji (9186)

Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean (8973)

Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg (8785)

Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks (8710)

Alhaitham/Kaveh (Genshin Impact) (8657)

Peter Parker/Tony Stark (8607)

Bakugou Katsuki/Todoroki Shouto (8588)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson (8522)

Only here are we finally getting down to the range where a lot of the big f/f ships on AO3 hang out, and here's Sam/Bucky, which is frankly not a small pairing at all unless you only mean in comparison to Stucky.

I'll stop there for m/m since these numbers are getting pretty distorted by me filtering out everything higher up, but you get the idea. Even that wretched Old Guard fandom couldn't completely kill off its ship, though then we get into how you're defining your terms and how much actual skin tone matters.

Here's f/m on AO3:

Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug (32122)

Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy (26417)

Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s) (23498)

Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (23403)

Minor or Background Relationship(s) (18497)

James Potter/Lily Evans Potter (18142)

Kylo Ren/Rey (15915)

James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader (15200)

Pepper Potts/Tony Stark (14547)

Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley (13843)

Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin (13551)

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully (13145)

Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak (11318)

Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan (11031)

Castiel/Dean Winchester (10851)

Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth (9236)

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski (9152)

Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson (9141)

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added (9108)

Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper (9046)

Bellamy Blake's actor is Filipino, isn't he? I remember race wank.

I don't see anything particularly significant until we get further down the listings, but there are definitely smaller fandoms like Leverage where everybody loves and ships the black guy.

I mean, yes, clearly, media does have a bias against darker skin, and the darker the skin, the bigger the bias. This bias may be exacerbated by fandom, but in a lot of cases, it just seems to be replicated at about the same level.

That pattern notwithstanding, it seems like you just haven't heard of a lot of ships.

[ghoastixx]

you know the episode where Sam is stuck in a time loop? What if Dean’s kid was stuck in a time loop and they had to witness their dad die over and over?

Let's Do The Time Warp Again

synopsis above

notes: This episode is literally one of my favorites because I love the trickster so much, so this is so fun???? Thank you so much. My inbox is always open!

Author's note: Just for the sake of how much I used from the actual episode in this, none of the material in this belongs to me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The loud obnoxious song of a motel alarm clock woke you up from your sleep. Tuesday morning in a shitty little town at a hunt that made you want to laugh. Some Mystery Spot Gravity Falls bullshit.

"Rise and shine Sammy!" You heard your dad wake your uncle up as you yourself got up, starting your day. You were relatively quiet as you listened to your dad and uncle discuss the hunt. Your dad suggested breakfast, so you all piled into the Impala and headed to a small diner.

"Special of the day.. Pig N' A poke. What's that?" You dozed off a bit til it came time to order. You ordered a pancake. Still being tired, you kept to yourself as you awaited the food. The sound of a hot sauce bottle falling made you jump. Ultimately waking you up.

Breakfast was nice but the moment wouldn't last forever. You walked next to Sam and Dean as they discussed the Mystery Spot, occasionally putting your input. You stopped to wave at a golden retriever that was barking at passerby's, a blonde woman bumped into your dad, and movers were struggling to move a large desk inside a building. Seemed a lot was happening in this city street. Ultimately, you all decided to go to the Mystery Spot that night and look for anything tricky.

It was tackier then you could've imagined. You were pulled from your thoughts by a commotion. The owner had showed up, and he had a gun. Frozen in fear you tried to find a way out of this.

That's when he shot your father. You and your uncle bolted over, trying to stop the bleeding-

The loud obnoxious song of a motel alarm clock woke you up from your sleep. Tuesday morning in a shitty little town at a hunt that made you want to.. hold on. There your dad was, taunting Uncle Sam, lip syncing the song and bobbing around.

You tried to convince yourself this was just an awful case of deja vu as you all piled into the table at the diner to eat. This time you sat on the outside of your Uncle Sam.. You caught the hot sauce bottle when it fell.

You felt crazy as you walked down the street. The dog barking, the blonde woman, the movers with the desk, it all made you sick. You quickly suggested checking the mystery spot out now instead of later to try and get information. Your uncle and dad agree. Dean goes to cross the road when he is hit by a car. Once again, you and your uncle rush over to your father.

The loud obnoxious song of a motel alarm clock woke you up from your sleep. Tuesday morning in a shitty little town at a hunt that made you feel sick.

At the diner, you decide to come clean about this.

"I..think I'm stuck in a time-loop."

"Like ground hog's day?" your dad cut in

"Yes, exactly like ground hog day! Except whenever.."

"What?" Sam asked,

"Nothin'.."

Everything is the same, the dog, the woman, the movers, but this time the car doesn't hit Dean. You hold him back.

You waited in the motel as Dean and Sam went to investigate as you didn't really pass as a reporter.

A loud obnoxious song of a motel alarm clock woke you up from your sleep. Tuesday morning in a shitty little town at a hunt that was turning out to be longer than you wanted. You had no idea how to prevent your father's next inevitable death because you had no idea how he even died last.

At the diner, you explain your fears once again. All three Winchesters decide to do something different, so instead of a side of bacon, dean orders sausage.

Your father chokes.

Your father falls in the shower.

Your father eats bad taco meat.

Your father is electrocuted by a razor.

Every single time the stupid song brings you back to this constant nightmare and you find yourself back in the diner. You glare at the waitress. She's a horrible shot..

"What's got you so sour, kiddo?" Your dad asked, a smirk.

"This is my hundredth Tuesday in a row."

"Don't be ridiculous." They both say in synch. "You're being ridiculous... When Sam was six he used to look at the cowboy's on TV so I called him gay." Dean raised his brow as you matched exactly what he said. Sam threw his hands in the air.

You point to people, "the waitress frequents the archery. That man right there is drinking and driving. She is cheating on her husband. He gets his kicks off by dressing in a bunny costume." At this point the hot sauce falls and you catch it. Your uncle is speechless.

They are trying to think of anything as they walk down the street. You mess with the keys in your hand that you took of the guy who hits your dad with his car, suddenly your dad is headed in the opposite direction before he comes back with a missing poster. You and Sam go to chase the woman down while your dad stays behind with the dog.

A loud obnoxious song of a motel alarm clock goes off once again.

At the diner you're giving information to the older winchesters who are highly impressed in your sudden interest in research.

"Sounds like a pompous ass," Sam mutters,

"I don't know man, it's just desserts," Your dad responds. Your eyes wander to the man who's been eating pancakes everyday. He's ordered a different kind of syrup.. That's..that's never happened.

A loud obnoxious song of a motel alarm clock wakes you up from your sleep.. It's him.

You are quiet, eerily so, as your uncle pointed out. As soon as the man with the pancakes gets up to leave the diner, you're up and following him, which freaks your family out. The Winchester's catch up with you once you've got the man cornered in an ally, panicking when they notice the wooden stake you have pointed at his neck.

"I've finally figured it out- why I can't get out of this hellhole. Watching my dad die everyday. We've killed one of your kind before-" You spat,

"Y/N, back down, you sound crazy." Your dad tried to interfere, your uncle stoped him. That's when the man reveals himself as the trickster from the college months before.

"You didn't." He smiles "It's been fun killing your dad everyday, squirt. Though I wanted this to happen to your uncle, you were entertaining to watch. Maybe this'll teach you a lesson."

"A lesson? What kind of sick lesson are you talking about you bitch."

"That you can't save your father. Maybe this will teach you to let him go before you ruin yourself trying to save him. Now.. I would keep this up.. but I couldn't do that to a kid."

"Set it back! I don't wanna play this game anymore. I'll kill you I swear!" The trickster shrinks back a bit as you press the wooden stake further into his throat.

A slightly less obnoxious song wakes you from your sleep. Another morning in a terrifying town that makes you want to leave as soon as possible. It is Wednesday and everything will be okay...

Right?

[pagannatural]

2.10 Hunted

-direct continuation from Croatoan. Sam was waiting for Dean to tell him what it was John said about him before dying. Sam looked really fearful.

-Dean is scared too. This time the camera focuses on him as he begins, “he said that he…wanted me to watch out for you” and his voice trembles as he continues, saying John asked him to take care of Sam, and save him.

Sam doesn’t understand at first. John said this kind of thing all the time, and Dean has been watching out for/caring for/saving Sam their whole lives, but Dean’s demeanor doesn’t match up with what he’s saying. When Dean finally gets to the point, which is that if he can’t save Sam, John said he’d have to kill him, Sam looks so deeply shocked and hurt and upset. It’s like his brain is both seizing upon and rejecting this information. Seizing on it because there’s a part of him that’s thinking I knew it, I knew something was wrong with me and rejecting it because it’s coming out of his older brother’s mouth.

It’s wild that Sam at no point this episode seems to question Dean’s loyalty to him. There’s a little seed of fear inside him that Dean will think he’s a monster, but he just came off a job in which Dean proved to him again that he will listen to and value Sam, not to mention choose Sam over everything else including his own life.

-Dean keeps looking down. He’s ashamed that he’s even saying this. He says “he said I might have to kill you, Sammy” like he’s pleading for Sam’s help. Sam is usually there for him when he’s scared or upset. This is the very first time Dean is saying this out loud and he’s feeling how awful and unfair that was for their dad to put on him.

-John also made Dean promise to keep this from Sam. He probably thought that was for the best for some reason but it belies his complete misunderstanding of his sons as people and as brothers that he thinks 1) Dean would be able to keep it from Sam and 2) that they’re better off not working together. There is just no way Dean could handle this on his own, he needs Sam.

-Sam gets angry. I don’t even think he’s actually angry, it’s more like he’s freaking out and it presents as anger. His fear that he’s not pure is not only becoming a real threat, but also one that caused his father to ask the one person he trusts in the world to kill him if necessary. Sam thought he and John were at least somewhat on the same page when he died.

-Sam switches to need-more-info mode, which is just so deeply Sam. Knowledge makes him feel in control and one of his deepest drives as a character is the Need to Understand. He needs to understand monsters, what makes them bad, what bad even means, why his family hunts them, what’s going on inside of himself, what Dean is thinking and feeling.

The one area that he doesn’t push or poke and seems, later this season, to actually want to protect himself from, is the nature of his and Dean’s connection. I want to assume that he did a ton of research on incest taboos while he was in high school or at Stanford, but the way he avoids understanding makes me think that it’s at the root of his shame and he’s built himself a wall around it just like the one he’d built against Dean himself in s1. The reason so much of Sam’s arc was about letting Dean in again was because his trust in Dean’s love was rattled when he went to college—Sam didn’t know how badly Dean wanted to get back together with him. Now he trusts that Dean loves him, but not that he can save him.

-Dean says he wants to “lay low” because “then I can make sure—“ and Sam cuts him off: “what? That I don’t turn evil?” When Sam says sarcastically “maybe you will have to waste me” Dean yells at him “I never said that.”

It’s the first time Dean raises his voice in the conversation. His anger seems to come from being misunderstood rather than being confronted about something true. Dean can’t imagine Sam becoming evil. I think Dean was about to say “Then I can make sure nothing happens to you” or something. He doesn’t seem like he’s actually angry either, just like he’s terrified and he’s trying to take control of a situation outside of his grasp.

-Dean begs Sam for “time to figure this out.” He says please four times. It quiets Sam. I wonder if Dean has spoken to Sam like that in the past, if he used to get Sammy to let him stitch him up by asking him to please just let him disinfect it or to please just count to 20 and it’ll be over.

-Sam runs off on his own, which is such an *interesting response since he has been running away from home since he was an adolescent. He is not one to spook easy or to look away when things get tough, but he hates feeling like he’s the problem.

*link for any curious psych nerds. runaways are more likely to have a single parent, have a negative relationship with parents, have been exposed to violence, and have a mental illness (most often depression). Sounds like Sam.

He runs away to investigate on his own for a few reasons. He’s afraid of himself and of what’s going to happen to him and he needs some control over the situation. He’s probably also noticing that this is tearing Dean up inside and he doesn’t want Dean to save him, he wants to fix it himself. If he can fix it, he can fix what’s wrong with him. He doesn’t really think Dean can do that for him, which is sort of true and sort of false. They have to do it together.

Whatever is up with Sam is and always has been intimately and inherently connected to Dean and the brothers’ love. There’s their destiny as vessels, and their love ultimately saving the world, but it’s also their bond itself. The demon caused the fire, so the demon blood in a way is responsible for delivering baby Sammy into Dean’s arms and their incestuous codependent relationship. (And I’m treating their relationship as incestuous regardless of what physically has or hasn’t happened.)

-So Sam leaves. When he goes to Ellen’s bar, Ellen tells him that Jo left to become a hunter and that Ellen told her “not under my roof.” It parallels Sam’s decision to leave for Stanford. Ellen tells him it’s not his fault, which he seems affected by. He thinks things are his fault because he’s impure. He probably thinks his and Dean’s feelings are his fault for the same reason.

-Ellen tells Sam that Dean has been calling asking about him, “worried sick.” When Sam leaves she’s like You know I have to call your brother and let him know you’re safe right?

It’s exactly what a parent would say to a runaway kid about calling their mom.

-Sam basically tells Ellen that Dean can’t protect him from who he is. He doesn’t believe Dean can save him and he will ultimately need to have faith that Dean can save him in s5.

-How does Sam have money for all this? He must be helping Dean with the hustling by now.

-Sam pockets some of Scott’s prescription meds, to use or to sell or both.

-Dean asks about Sam unprompted as soon as Ellen calls him. When he tracks Sam and spots him through the motel window he says out loud “thank god you’re okay” and then sees Ava and says “oh you’re better than okay” and smiles and I think it’s cute that Dean still thinks Sam is interested in anyone other than him.

-Gordon shoots at Sam. Dean beats Gordon up and says “you do that to my brother I’ll kill you” but Gordon hits him on the head with his very large gun (a rifle? I don’t know guns) and knocks him out cold. Dean feels strongly about not killing people except when it comes to protecting Sam then it’s totally fine.

-Sam finds and identifies the bullet shells and calls Dean for help and Ava is like Who are you?? and Sam says “my brother” like five times. It’s so fun seeing her perspective on Sam, who she thinks is crazy and probably dangerous because of his knowledge and the fact that he and his brother have a code word specifically for when one of them is being held at gun point. Dean sees Sam as his beautiful cutie pie lil guy who he is so proud of, and outsiders see Sam as the danger to society that he is.

-Sam says “harms way doesn’t really bother me” and when Ava says This is how you die! he says “doesn’t matter. It’s my brother.” Sam is bananas. It’s good for the viewer to be reminded of this fact often.

-Dean mostly keeps it together when Gordon is talking about killing Sam, because he’s trying to find a way to save Sam even now. Screen caps of his expressions don’t really do his scenes justice because his lips tremble, and you can see him breathing shakily, and glancing around, or flinching slightly. His dread is palpable. The sick, terrible desperation in Dean’s entire body when he thinks Sam is about to be and then thinks Sam is being killed by a grenade is hard to watch.

-Incidentally this is how ptsd commonly happens. Dean is usually able to act on his fight or flight response and fight/kill the threat, but here he’s tied up and can do nothing. So this would be particularly hard for him to deal with in the coming months/years. I can’t recall if the show explores that, I guess we’ll see.

-Gordon says “your brother thinks you’re some kind of saint.” Again with the outsider perspectives here. Dean sees Sam as the most precious, good, important thing in the world and Gordon sees him as weird and soft and obsessed with his brother (gay?).

-Gordon says “show your brother the killer you really are, Sammy” and Sam says “it’s Sam” before knocking him out. I love this callback to Bloodlust where Sam says Dean is the only one allowed to call him Sammy.

-Sam goes to Dean wearily and puts a hand on his shoulder. It’s almost casual, establishing contact by touching, letting Dean know he’s there. Dean could hear Sam fighting with Gordon, so he knew he was alive, but he needs to touch Sam and look into his eyes to really know he’s alive and okay. Sam helps Dean get untied and Dean ends up pulling Sam to his feet as he unties Dean’s ankles.

When Dean holds Sam’s face in his hands, his thumbs just under his jaw, Sam tilts his head back tiredly, exposing his throat. He responds like it’s a matter of course that Dean will cradle his face, like he’s done it many times before when Sam was smaller and had to tilt his head back to look up at Dean.

What is it with Dean and Sam’s neck and throat? It’s an intimate part of the body to be looking at and touching so often, but unique in that it’s not explicitly sexual. It just feels sexual.

Sam puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder again, wordlessly confirming that yes, he is okay, so Dean breaks away to kill Gordon like he said he would.

-When Sam realizes this is Dean’s aim, he tells Dean not to and pulls him away by the collar of his jacket. It’s very guard dog/master.

-Dean calls Sam a “fine upstanding citizen” for getting Gordon arrested and Sam smiles prettily.

-Sam is so cute waiting in the car while Dean yells at Ellen on the phone about how Gordon tracked Sam by talking to hunters at her bar. Mom is so mad the bully picked on his kid, and the bully is in detention but that’s not enough he wants to talk to a parent about this.

-In the car Dean warns Sam “dude, if you ever run off like that again—“

“What? You’ll kill me?” Sam jokes.

It’s nice they can joke like this about past arguments. Couples who know how to fight are more likely to stay married.

-Dean says they should go to Amsterdam (implying that he wants them to forget their worries and get fucking blazed together) and Sam does that thing where he grins and licks his lips at him. But he says he’s not just gonna ditch the job and Dean says “screw the job.” Sam tells Dean “you’re a hunter, it’s what you were meant to do.” John and Gordon have said this same thing, but I think the difference is that they meant Dean was born to kill and Sam thinks he was born to rescue. It shows the level of admiration that Sam has for Dean, thinking that he’s doing what he was born to do. You only think that of people who are very, very talented. Personally I think Dean was bred to be a hunter and would’ve been a firefighter or an ER nurse or something (wait what did Jess dress up as for Halloween? wait), but he was born to be Sam’s big brother.

Sam never felt a calling to do anything in particular, as far as I’ve gotten in the show. He’s really good at getting people to talk and convincing them of things and doing research, so lawyer fits, but he’s also said he never fit in at Stanford. When he has a normal life in s8 he works in maintenance. He must have felt so out of place as a teenager thinking Dean had found his destiny, and that it wasn’t right for Sam.

-Dean says he doesn’t believe in destiny, meaning he believes in Sam staying good. Sam tells Dean “you can’t protect me.” Dean says “I can try” and Sam thanks him. He feels loved by Dean.

-They do their Bitch/Jerk bit and Sam grins. They must have missed each other, they’re so flirty and excited to be together again.

-Sam calls Ava again and Dean looks at him suggestively and asks if Sam is sweet on her. Sam says “she’s engaged, Dean” and Dean says “so?” Okay cool so Sam being engaged would not have been an issue for Dean it really was just the blood relative thing. Cool.

-Sam chooses both Dean and hunting. Running off on his own put him at risk which puts Dean at risk, and Dean agrees to be together on Sam’s terms rather than laying low.

[charcubed]

Hi. I tend to forget that tumblr exists and just shout all my thoughts about The Winchesters on Twitter @CharCubed, which is a problem, but for once in my life I'm posting something here!

Here are some broad Thoughts on where I've landed of what this season 1 finale of The Winchesters offered–

• I very much want season 2 of this show SO badly. I want to see how they all continue to build their lives now that we know tragedy need not be their end! THIS IS THE HEALING SHOW. That whole cast gets to write their own story... "the only thing that's worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends" is no longer the case, as Carlos already said... and Dean helped to free them? That fucks.

• In regards to those possibilities: now that Dean would no longer be framing the prequel as a story he's telling, it frees the prequel up to no longer be doubling as Dean's story through revealing mirroring–which is very much what it's been doing for 12 episodes. Now the monster plots and the storylines for those characters in The Winchesters can also be diversified, so every episode no longer has to include, for example... [checks notes] a situation where a character is literally and/or metaphorically trapped and has to confront their trauma, break cycles of violence, and speak truths to be freed. It's been very Loud and very much Like This Constantly because it's Dean's story, but now it won't have to be anymore, which is an interesting thing to contemplate! (To be clear, for those unaware of my history of yelling about this show: I love that it was Like This. This show is fucking genius.)

• Initially, this finale had some alarm bells pinging in my brain but then I parsed the Reasons for those things. Mary told John she had "Something to say," right? And then she never says it. That's a Chekhov's gun that's never fired and it's of course paralleling how Dean has "something to say" to Cas too. Them not speaking that truth is a problem. In addition, we also got a montage eerily akin to the 15x19 one. But these callbacks / parallels to s15 all loudly indicate something very specific: The Winchesters is an unfinished story, and this finale (like the rest of this show) is mirroring and revealing truths about the prime narrative of SPN. For one thing, with the prequel they originally expected to have 22 or so episodes and ended up having 13 to work with. For another... this is the START of their story, not the end. So along those lines, what can we deduce about the end of season 15? (Hint: that finale is not an ending either.)

• Speaking of which: We learn that everything Dean was just doing takes place in the ~heavenly~ time period before Sam “dies." This all functionally happened right after Dean died as he drove down that road. He is restless, unmoored, grieving, and–this is key–considers his "ending" to be an unhappy happy one. He's fucking around and finding out, looking for and unpacking (through his narration) what he needs and wants for HIS happy ending to look like. He found out about the Akrida being a failsafe from Chuck and couldn't resist meddling to save everyone. It's also worth noting that Dean says to Jack something like, "If you have to kick me out of Heaven then that's fine." Between the lines is the thought of "please kick me out of Heaven, I'm causing problems because I'm grieving and I'm not done, I don't want this 'peace' but would rather have freedom." That in itself is a massive subversion of the SPN finale, to say nothing of the previous 12 episodes we've received.

Anyway. So in terms of Dean's story, we now know that this all takes place smack in the middle of 15x20 timeline-wise. This checks out because Bobby's presence connects to him being the only one we saw in 15x20. And... what I personally consider to be Jack's incredibly fucked up or ~potentially taken over by Chuck~ vibes are, in that sense, consistent with 15x19 as well. (I'm so sorry but please let me drop this cursed "Alex Calvert playing Chuck" joke by Jensen from August 2022 which haunts me.)

So: nothing about the concept that @chuckwon at the end of season 15 has been confirmed or denied in canon at this point. The idea that Chuck LOST, as Dean says here, is simply what Dean may still be thinking (which makes sense). But nothing has fundamentally changed about the state of how season 15 left things in the prime narrative yet... largely because that's not what this story is / was about.

In terms of what this finale presented to us, I think "Chuck won" potential was all deliberately left open. And I continue to Call Bullshit on the finale accordingly. A Chuck won plot line COULD be used in a future sequel to great affect, or it could NOT be used in a future sequel. That will be totally up to the future authors / team behind that potential sequel to see what story they choose to tell, and where it all may or may not go. But until then (on that front) right now it's the same shit, different show, and deliberately literally nothing about that potential has changed.

• I LOVE all of the above now that I've parsed it all in my brain. It makes perfect sense. Much like we were never going see the gay angel pop up in this show and kiss Dean (with apologies to anyone who somehow thought otherwise?)... leaving other things open like this is fantastic and the objectively correct call. Dean's story is HIS story to be furthered elsewhere, whereas this show belonged and continues to belong to its cast of characters who must take center stage. But through this story within a story narrated by Dean himself, we learned a hell of a lot about his state of mind as it actively stands in 15x20. Or more accurately: the entire show reinforces and reiterates comprehensively and repeatedly that the SPN finale was wrong and bad and not the end of the story at all, and now canonically and openly and in no uncertain terms that that's how Dean feels too.

• AND THUS: season 1 of The Winchesters works as deeply clever and layered commentary on Supernatural's ending and presents the stepping stone for a sequel continuation for Dean and his family. It's also the beginning of a new chapter with endless potential for The Winchesters' cast of characters who are not tied to fate or main timeline.

I fucking love it here.

Truly, madly, deeply: ALL HAIL ROBBIE THOMPSON.

And seriously, I really hope we get a season 2 because I adore all of the prequel's characters on their own merit and I want to see what their story can become :')

[olivernothere]

NAME: Oliver Castellioa Solace-Di Angelo

ALIAS: Ollie, Ol, Olive Tree (sigh), Olive (ONLY Iggy)

AGE: 16 years old, 6th of January

WEAPON(S): A dagger made out of celestial bronze, 20 centimeters

POWER(S): He can enter peoples dreams, and watch what’s happening from afar. He can also change their dreams to however he’d like, this tends to drain him very much though.

PERSONALITY: He’s a bit rude and cold, sometimes shy, in the start, but if you get to know him, he’ll warm up. Once you know him, he’ll be the most caring person, he’s a bit loud sometimes, he’s a little overprotective of his family, even though hems the youngest, he ignores rude comments and such in public, he doesn’t know how to say no, so you never really know if he wants something or not. He’s REALLY scared of adults (sometimes even Will and Nico), and WILL call them sir, miss, ma’am, etc., he can and will sometimes isolate himself from everyone if he’s having one of his “episodes”.

FATAL FLAW: Thinking that he’ll never be good enough for anyone and it’s why his mother disowned him

HOBBIES: I like to paint, mostly landscapes and such, sometimes I write poems I guess? Oh and I love to spend time with my cat, is that considered a hobby?

FAMILY: Nico Di Angelo (Papa), William Andrew Solace (Dad), Daphne Naria Solace-Di Angelo (Sister), Hades (Grandfather), Maria Di Angelo (Grandmother), Apollo (Grandfather), Naromi Solace (Grandmother), Morpheus (Father A stranger to me.), Allison Castellioa (Mother Who is this?)

People I know (!!):

FAMILY:

@ghost-king-and-thebones - Nico Di Angelo, my wonderful papa!! <3

@daffy-not-a-duck - Daphne Naria Solace-Di Angelo, my lovely sister!! (STAY AWAY FROM EPHIE)

@doctor-sunshine-andcarebears - William Andrew Solace, my awesome dad!!!

@drea-and-nico - Andrea and Nicolas Lilith, Children of Hades, my aunt and uncle, but Drea is like a sister to me

@iggy-mini-miny-moe - Ignis Grace, a child of Jason Grace and Leo Valdez, my boyfriend fjbfjgbekd<33, DON'T let him near bleach

FRIENDS:

@chasing-that-jackson - Charlotte Sally Chase-Jackson, a child of Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase, please stop dying

@ineedtoescapefromreality - Echo and Rosalyn Mclean, children of Piper Mclean and Shel

@hey-guys-its-sam - Samantha Zhang, a child of Frank Zhang and Hazel Levesque

@violent-cinnamonroll - Aria Nicole La Rue, a child of Clarisse La Rue and Silena Baeuregard

@notwillingtobefound - William Valdez, a child of Jason Grace and Leo Valdez, Iggy’s brother

@not-a-panda - Pandora Stoll, a child if Travis Stoll amd Katie Gardner, she has a cute cat!!

@morningstar-of-the-night - Kallisto Danica Arrelano-Grace, a child of Reyna Ramirez-Arellano and Thalia Grace

@daredevil-larue - Lucine La Rue, a child of Clarisse La Rue and Silena Beauregard

@overwhelmingly-his-son - Lukas Castellan, a grandchild of May Castellan, he's cool

@the-poison-and-the-sky - Belladonna Chase-Jackson, a child of Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase-Jackson, from another Universe

@praetor-ambrose-asher - Ambrose Asher, a legacy of Primordial Khaos

ADULTS I KNOW:

@leo-repairguy-valdez - Leo Valdez, father to Iggs and William, married (?) to Jason Grace

@percy-jackson-xxx - Perseus Jackson, father to Charlie and Cassie, married to Annabeth Chase

@sincerely-anniejackson - Annabeth Chase-Jackson, mother to Charlie and Cassie, married to Perseus Jackson

ACC IS RAN BY: @moonssong

Tags:

#Oliver arrived - In character Oliver

#Oliver died - ooc

#Ephie supremacy - About his cat

#Oliver rants - something random ic Oliver

#Sister tag☀️ - When he interacts with his sister

#Death and fire - Oliver and Iggy (They’re shipped)