#he's not as food motivated as the others
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pancetta looks like they're about to eat their own title card
(I don't know what the letters are made of, but Pancetta would definitely destroy it if given the chance
He has one braincell, and it is full of rage, so he must RIP AND TEAR AND MAIM!!!
#ooc post#Pancetta the Peppiclone#he's not as food motivated as the others#he runs on unfiltered fury ONLY#(well that's not true but that is the image he wants to put out hehe)
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Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.
It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?
Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.
When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.
Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.
#barkin up some trees#personal#the way my friends train their dog is not the way I would ever train a dog#in fairness he isnt food or toy motivated#and i dont have issues with ecollars#but they dont actually reward him for anything really#praise but little to nothing else#like yeah of course he is gonna blow you off to jump in the lake#lake is more rewarding than recalling to you when you have nothing to offer him in return#the way they recall him is that he has to come to them and then give a hand boop#and if he doesn't make contact they keep asking him until he does it#and then no reward#other than praise#which he doesnt seem to really care that much about#idk it just doesnt feel right the way they train him and i dont take advice from them on training#they also basically never have him on a leash even tho it is required by law in town#after the hike we went to the lodge restaurant and luckily we had an extra lead in the truck#otherwise they hadnt even brought one along so they were gonna leave him in their car while we ate#idk like i love my friends and they are nice people but jesus christ
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have u ever seen a comic book panel so beautiful it made u wnna cry?
#its a little on the nose but KYAHHHH#its fffff its literally him its literally duke thomas like actually himand not thw evil fanon twin that wears his face#and??? like it summarized 2 big ole points in the duke discussion circles and shows that hes come so so far#he can actually rely on others and he felt like he was invisible and AAAA its too early 4 me rn ill come back when i ahve the right words#but like even tho this is kinda bare minimum i feel so so vindicated and im so glad the writing did a minimum amount of research b 4 writing#him and this was the perfect story to put him specifically in bcs the villains motives seem to foil dukes own#also i love the little detail of duke offering him food and to talk ot thru its so consistent to his character#its literally not even a full comic but i feel so happy i could cry#I WILL B TALKING MORE L8R work 2 do rn..#the signal#duke thomas#batfam#dc tag#thought bubbles
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Since I finished the manga a few days back, I wanted to revisit my two demon slayer OCs I made last year. Here's Yoshi and Syougo ^^
Syougo and Yoshiaki are childhood friends who both ended joining the Demon Slayer corps after being separated earlier in life. Yoshi spent his years training under his retired slayer father before passing the final examination, while Syougo ended up having to figure his own methods out after his first teacher made it so he couldn't use a true breathing technique again.
As an overview of the techniques they use:
Field Breathing is a technique Yoshi's father came up with over his career in the corps. When he retired, he continued to polish the forms and taught them to Yoshi. Both the name and the forms it utilizes are based on the flora around the rice fields he was raised and later retired to. The technique emphasizes speed, flexibility, and applying pressure to the opponent as much as possible. It's fluidity and aggressiveness leads Yoshi to be quick in handling threats since he pushes opponents around
Spirit Breathing (or if you're using archaic kanji, Vengeful Spirit Breathing) is a breathing technique Syougo made as a way to regulate his body and state of mind after losing the lung capacity to use Total Concentration or other methods. It's based around his base breathing rate so he doesn't overexert himself, which means to an extent he is always using it. In combat it's intended to psych out opponents and help highlight their weak points. Since it's mostly a distraction/intimidation technique, Syougo uses a secondary weapon to get the jump on opponents when they're not focused.
For some bonus design notes, here's some details for how they dress:
Yoshiaki's samue is based on what he'd wear when working at the rice fields with his family. The light green colour comes from being dyed with wisteria leaves, a precaution his mother took hoping it would protect him
Having nostalgia from weaving baskets with his mom when he was younger, Yoshi tends to use dry reeds for securing things. He ties his hair with it, decorates his equipment with it, and though his legs aren't visible, he ties reeds in a crossed pattern over his kyahan
The brown cotton sageo and tsuba he uses are handed down from his father. The scar on his cheek is also there for the same reason, his father had one and Yoshi decided to cut his cheek to look cool and match 💀
Syougo's haori has kogin-zashi embroidery across the sleeves and shoulders. He sewed it himself in between his training as a way to decompress and slow down. His kyahan have a matching stripe across the front
Syougo's tsuba was gifted to him by his current mentor who thought he would enjoy the oblique patterning to match his outerwear. His current mentor also requested a nichirin style tanto for him to use for his secondary fighting technique
The ragged look of Syougo's hair comes from him prioritizing training over all else, even appearance. The only instance where he will fully comb and dress his hair is for important meetings and ceremonies. He does maintain the part of his hair though, modelled after his mentor's (much shorter) hair. This is one doodle with clean hair
I'd write more about their character but this is getting long as it is 💀
I have a piece with Syougo that I'm going to put up soon, and at my sister's request I'll try doing a matching one for Yoshi
Hope you guys like these fellas ^^ I'll see you later
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer oc#kny oc#kny ocs#fan oc#fun fact: spirit breathing first form gives the opponent feelings of paranoia/being watched#having it always active means that absolutely no one talks to Syougo if they can help it and he is consistently the creep in the corner#some people think he's a demon working as a double agent due to this and because he spends so much time inside away from others#he does not notice this 💀 not even when he runs into demons who fall for it too#Also‚ since spirit breathing is not a weapon technique‚ Syougo can use multiple forms at once. Usually 1st or 3rd form with something else#for that sweet disorientation/rage bonus. I'd mention other techniques he uses but I'll save that for when I post his mentor Yuusei#bonus fun fact: Yoshi will always flex his family's rice farm‚ and often cooks and shares food just to show how high quality the rice is#consequently he's always the one cooking on the field‚ not that he minds‚ he likes getting to talk and relax#plus eating the food sent from home is great comfort and motivation on the field
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Took my cat Shaxx to the vet yesterday bc I noticed he had some inner ear crusting and it looked inflamed, had some sniffles and eye goop and bald patches with little sores around his paws and legs. Poor thing. Apparently he has a mild ear infection (rods?) but his skin broke out pretty bad so they prescribed him some antibiotics alongside giving him an ear cleaning, ear medication, an injection and some mouse to help with his sores. He will have a check up in two weeks to see if he's improving.
Am worried sick about the poor bb tho I won't lie. Couldn't eat yesterday before the appointment and I woke up early still anxious about him. I just hope this helps him 😢 I hate seeing him in pain so much. Wehhh. I had only caught it literally yesterday because he's been a bit distant than usual behaviors tho I wish I had caught on sooner. I'd probably say it's been at least nearly a week he has been dealing with this and I feel awful.
But pic below of my bb Shaxx at the vet (just a cute pic)
He was apparently such a good boy tho when they took him back for a cleaning / injection that the vet was like I wish I had him all the time, he had a perfect temperament lol😭
#Aev rambles#It's interesting bc he's normally kinda an anxious lil kitty in general but he is such a model behaved cat at the vet every time#Maybe bc he's so food motivated it's easy to distract him lol#But yeah I mentioned he got very very stressed the other day when I changed out my fire alarms.#Couldn't have predicted that and felt bad but I figured worth mentioning bc he's sensitive like that and maybe that can#Trigger like a autoimmune reaction from how stressed he got. But the vet said it's very possible. So we will see if it clears up
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I think people don't appreciate how much heavy lifting ROTSQ did for both DBK and Red Son's arcs
#like we see here that their main motivations are each other#Like#DBK indulged Red Son's wish to start a food truck#It was also SWK insulting DBK's family that enabled him to you know. Break out of their bindings#Red Son finally got a win#The father son relationship was improved#And like. The moment you help Red Son save his family he is in your court#Literally why he's saving MK and Mei and Sandy in 3x06 (1x10 + ROTSQ did him in)#it's about the like#''not that any of you would care'' to ''you and the noodle boy will stop at nothing to free them'' pipeline#Also why Red Son followed Mei in s3#idk this is me disagreeing with ''They abandoned the DBF's arcs'' takes#I'm like#no they didn't asdfasfdadsf#We have plenty#And they're side characters#I could talk a lot about the DBF but my tag rants are long enough#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#lmk DBF#lmk DBK#lmk Red Son
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deadbeat daughter gwen stacy is this anything
#gwext#& friend & girlfriend & mutual acquaintances & enemy &#she does not value the people in her life i think its laughable when people try making her out as somebody whos like pure of heart and nurtu#ring#does she actively hate them no but like she doesnt work to sustain her relationships or go out of her way for them in a casual sense#she talks to harry when she needs food or money or his connections#every conversation with em jay begins and ends in apologies#she is Never Home whether that be in her own universe or whatever she has happening in 616#the primary conflict before murdock dies is that he cannot fucking find her#/ and theres nuance to that like she has a Reason#everybody in her life leaves or dies or gets hurt because of her directly#she minimizes grief by cutting everybody out of her life and becoming solitary#<- along with minimizing responsibility or the need to live up to this idealized persona everybody has made of her#thats the primary reason for leaving e65#shes somebody whos endlessly flakey and unreliable; she doesn't have the Lets Keep Trying motivation#she Historically abandons things when they look bleak#she doesnt trust people shes known for years; she withholds information from em jay and harry and her dad#and this results in all of them getting seriously hurt and traumatized anyway#paired with like she really only trusts other variants of herself on a surface level#she wont seek out peter or mj or harry she will seek out whatever living version of her might still be on this earth#something something self sufficiency and self protection to a detriment#its selfishness and her priorities arent like#moral ones#this was a shitpost hi
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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technically if it's not simmered in the champagne region of france it's a sparkling best boy friend
#you see actually this is an ingeniously relevant caption b/c of the concept of Authentic food tying into the film's main themes re culture#Clearly impeccable lol....anyway here's me using this blog as like a tumblr hosted imgur#also just now in the shower it occurred to me the parallels / overlaps with My Big Fat Greek Wedding. obviously also v different but#so your family & by extension their culture aren't the Normal & your father especially holds on to this distinction#& you don't just want to work at the family business forever & then you meet a nice boy & there's no problem there he's just nice#except then how to reconcile this with your relationship w/your family & your culture & thus also your identity btw....#anyways how about that uhh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#ember lumen#wade ripple#fanart#always a time & a half trying to decide how to tag these kinds of titles. but somehow i survive#it's really a testament to the so precisely captured Cuteness of wade's design that it's like; trying to just do a shadow of it justice lol#it's So good. definitely went for the like expressive wobbliness...the wavy smile is just thee perfect detail all thee time. ugh#giving both of them that Flow while also ember is pointier & has the whole luminosity element....the chefs are kissing#love the Relationship when it's like yeah it's easy to make it agonizing when it's like ya both people have fun & like each other & enjoy#being together & find the relationship enriching & motivating...you Are a cute couple / again that the conflict isn't really even like ooh#will the won't they as a question of if they really like each other; & Definitely not a question of [these ppl hate each other actually] lo#like me saying i like romcoms sometimes when it Does mostly mean i'll watch mybigfatgreekwedding 500x in a row. it's on youtube btw#then you watch some random other romcom & it's psychological torture. random xmas romcomdram like gave me a headache fr....#anyways really liked this film really had a great time i'm def gonna see it again soon#i loved both these characters & their relationship & the Elemental manifestation of Culture is really inchtaraesting#plus other metaphorical resonance ppl find...physical disability; queer experiences....#it was also fun b/c their interacting & their arcs w/each other having that mutual Effect & Change from their dynamic was like#that also just feels like both of them / their relationship = my relationship with myself &/or both how i interact w/the world/anyone#definitely always describing myself in ways like ''i never x except for when i do always; readily'' like Crying for sure lol. I'm Both....#probably a bit more wade? within Myself; by this point lol. i feel like maybe i'm the wade w/someone i'm more comfortable around#but that otherwise i probably come across more emberesque. usually. except for when it's the opposite except for when it's not lmao etc!!!!
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My cat does not care if I stay in bed all day, he doesn't care if I haven't showered in a few days and smell bad, he doesn't get mad when I have to stay home from work, all he cares about is love and being fed.
#wrenfea.exe#and he doesnt get mad if im late with his meal#since he has dry food to eat if he needs to#now CLOVER on the other hand#she will yell and demand i get out of bed to give her her wet food#and she will piss on things if i dont clean the litter box#i guess shes a great motivator
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Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´;ω;`)
#I'm late...#I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch the episode by time last week but again. Food poisoning. And then the new chapter came out#I feel like I had much more to say when I started watching it last week...#Mmmmhh. I really like when bsd animation uses the colored lineart effect for flashbacks / subspaces (Anne's Room‚ Poe's books).#I think it's one of the prettiest and most original things of the bsd animation.#I've always felt like the Natsume reveal was a bit coming out of nowhere lol.#Here's this legendary ability user everyone knows but no one has ever seen with this immensely unthinkable powerful ability...#That the reader literally wasn't ever made aware of in the previous 49 chapters lol#After all that build up‚ his ability even feels a little underwhelming.#Which I suppose was the intended result‚ but I'm not sure it really works all that well in the end.#Then Naomi's words “Come to think of it‚ the things that happen when Mii-chan vanishes [...]‚ disasters are stopped every time”#really feel soooo out of place when so-called Mii-chan was never before mentioned up to this episode (╥﹏╥)#But I'll stop complaining. It's nothing big really#Fukuzawa and Mori's relationship is very homoerotic. Tbh#I looooove the ss/kk I don't even have much to say just watching scenes of them interacting together fills my heart of a warm feeling :')#The animation quality is very poor and the drawings are very undetailed but really I love ss/kk too much to care.#A lot of emphasis is put by the fandom on Atsushi's cruel remark towards Akutagawa in this ch/ep and it *is* cruel but really...#Akutagawa had literally just attacked Atsushi in a death-threatening way‚ futilely and completely unprompted#I can't find it in myself to blame Atsushi if he was irritated and lashed out at him.#And all their other moments are just so cute. What do you mean Akutagawa is deeply interested in understanding Atsushi's motivations.#What do you mean Atsushi can't get Akutagawa out of his mind!!!! They're so cute#So many more cute moments were cut out too rip lawnmower line you'll always be missed rip date line you'll always be missed#I feel like Pushkin's character is another instance of‚‚‚ Wow me and the author's morals really don't align at all#I really don't like the narrative of “weaker people will constantly try to harm and take advantage of strongest ones”#random rambles#Fun fact when I watched this episode for the first time I asked my mother to join me. Because I know a ss/kk scene was coming and I really–#didn't want to watch it alone. Well as it turned out the whole first half of the episode was dedicated to old man fighting–#and she gave up after that 😂😂 But I'm still grateful to her for trying.
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sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag#i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did#i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met#and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
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Sophodra would absolutely fall for Scarlet's hunting tactics, but specifically in a way where they're both trying to Gain Benefit From Flirting from each other, and it absolutely created a funky little loop for a bit where neither of them are attracted to each other, per se, but Sophodra's trying to get hired and Scarlet's trying to get her to follow him into this nice cave so he can cannibalize her.
#it probably wouldnt actually work out on either end of the equation#but tbh we can see being flirted with by an ant prince throwing sophodra enough that she goes off-script#scarlet is primarily motivated by food and sophodra in that framework very much counts as Food#we arent clear on hbg opinions on cannibalizing people but we can guess its not super good#scarlet not belonging to the ant species shes familiar with probably throws sophodra further#but we're just imagining two idiots doing empty flirting at each other and getting Fucking Nowhere#scarlet flirts like a photuris firefly in that he doesnt think youre sexy he just thinks youre edible#and if u came into biting range u would see that hes a perfectly normal & safe individual#sophodra might think youre attractive but her motive is profit first and foremost#so really it comes down to ambush predator vs ambush predator#we speak#humans b gone#sophodra#bf x hbg
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moment of weakness, what if.... kicked puppy leon...? getting some nervous head scritches?
#this is where the 'comfort' part of whump hides#when i'm kinda sad and want to be smothered in my weighted blanket#thinking of leon having an emo moment with his eyeliner#and chris tries to give him love#it plays out exactly as it would with a semi-feral dog or cat#maybe he IS a little bitey#maybe he IS food motivated#maybe he DOES growl#and maybe he melts in chris's touch because that is a nice warm home#being reminded of poor emo leon in vendetta... sad lil alcoholic...#what if chris is the only person that gets him crying?#ok well i can see that with his closest friends like the mains but still#he's so awkward with other people (infinite darkness: giving patrick a pat on the shoulder)#he doesn't know how to deal with his own moment#freeze and just go stiff like 'ok'
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Can we get more Dazai with ARFID please? Like I've seen Dazai with anorexia a lot but for the life of me I can't see this man caring about his weight.
#look at me#his safe food is crab#he doesn't like to eat and gas to be motivated by others to do so#C'MON NOW#ed mention#ummm#idk how to tag this#arfid hc#dazai headcanons#dazai hcs#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#arfid dazai#cory talks bsd
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Well, one year to go
#well at least im trying for that#ive scheduled round two for alaska and hopefully i see the lights this time#and my second favorite band announced yesterday they're coming here with guess who? another of my favorite bands#(blackbriar and battle beast may 2024)#i literally said the other day id be happy if i got to see them and now they're coming! can you believe it#but im tired...my health has plummeted and i am not doing well#im not going to last#ive just got to hold out for these last bucket list items#so im trying for the auora again in september around the equinox#ugh it's so bad im hooked up to shit all day now and constantly have to monitor tachycardia for instance#im exhausted. i can barely breathe. it hurts so much. i never stop shaking and spasming now#but hey ive started playing dnd...finally found a group. so that's crossed off my list too and it's been very fun so far#i need to get the motivation to read all the books i want to read#it aint in my control though...i just have to hope i can hold out until september#ive been trying lots of new foods but there's still so much more i want to try#but yeah im tired...every day i wake up from pain and feel like im going to die...if i sleep at all#even clare has given up it's progressed too much#but im trying. im trying#and ive been gathering all our family photos and things so theyll have memories#me and my dad take a selfie every time he visits too#idk. there's not a whole lot i can say without making people sad but it's been so much lately#i struggle to scrape through the pain every day. it's been 14 years. i just want to be free#it's not like i want to die...i just want to be free of the pain and rest finally#wish me luck#p
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