#he's more one memory loss away from being an Amnesia protagonist

[ganymedesclock]

I have a little question about your PK fanfic if you don't mind? before the events of your AU, so around the time where the infection resurged and the kingdom declined after the HK's sealing, how much time had passed between that and PK escaping/making the jump to his dream realm? did he immediately run away? And did he come to the conclusion that the HK wasn't empty/pure or what did he assume what had happend?

So in RFR, my goal is to actually not change actual textual game events, but rather write a rationale and timeline that seems to fit in with the implications and explanations we're told.

Evidence like the City of Tears tablet that talks about the sealing of the City Gates suggests, to me, that the downfall of the kingdom was prolonged. WL also speaks of this if you show her the defender's crest- that the kingdom's golden age where Ogrim was a Great Knight and WL the queen was relatively short compared to its decline.

There's two pieces of big evidence that led me to believe PK moved the palace relatively early in the decline: first is the number of Royal Retainers we find scattered around the Ancient Basin and some other parts of Hallownest, suggesting they were evacuated from the palace before it disappeared rather than PK waiting until he didn't have servants left (and the Retainers we encounter in the palace are clearly figments of PK's imagination- they don't leave a physical body behind, conspicuously unlike the defeated Kingsmoulds, especially the ones we find attending the throne room- or PK himself)

The second is that we see a very large number of people who died pleading or praying for PK to come back and save them.

This ties in big time to that last part of your question.

Basically, in my read, PK was already very unstable and obsessive by the very start of the vessel project. Mental health was never his forte and there's a lot of good evidence in-game that even he was overwhelmed and disgusted by what he did. Evidence suggests he went about what he did at the abyss in a clandestine, shameful manner- and sealed it off, when implications like the room where you get the Void Tendrils journal entry suggest he was not previously disgusted by it- he seemed to even like spending time there. The fact that his palace was so close to the void, as opposed to Radiance's holy site at Hallownest's Crown which is literally as far from the void as you could possibly ever get on the map, or that he appointed a royal retainer to personally watch the lighthouse down there, suggests it was formerly more important- but after the vessel project he may have actually been in such a hurry to get out of there and never look back that the lighthouse keeper was condemned at the same time as the vessels.

So PK... was kind of going hard off the rails. Even if Hollow's martyrdom had worked out the way that PK thought it would, I doubt PK would've had the emotional wherewithal to stay in power- he was coming apart at the seams in an ugly manner. The one thing that he could rationalize it with...

...well, it's his canon dream nail dialogue: no cost too great.

The thing is, when anybody says "no cost too great" the obvious implication is right there in the word 'cost'. Something isn't a cost if it isn't a price you pay for something. PK did an absolutely horrible thing- an inventive new horror, industrialized and mechanized. The sheer scale at which the vessels were born and condemned staggers the mind. And he was able to- briefly- be at a kind of dysfunctional peace with it because he rationalized it as a price to pay.

For a person whose badge of office was a brand burnt into his own flesh, it seems to come easily to him to pay gruesome prices- either himself, or- under the justification "himself" is a difficult resource to replace- demanding it of others as their god-king. One could even argue this is PK's fatal flaw.

But the catch to that kind of thinking is twofold. First in what we obviously see at the Abyss that PK didn't like what was happening but not only justified it to himself but justified it so well that he at no point even considered that he might be wrong, not just in sacrificing thousands of his children but in his basic underlying theory about what the void WAS...

And second, it means that the only time anything you do is justified is if it succeeds.

So you can be totally at peace with something-

(you think. you tell yourself. you absolutely don't get obsessed with treating your born-to-die sacrificial child like your only valid heir; you don't desperately want to make sure that your allegedly mindless and emotionless knight understands and observes the kingdom that they are saving)

-and then it fails. The peace and perpetuity you thought you purchased with your actions is not actually paid. Because you had no agreement with anyone or anything that this was going to work out- and the "other party" is never going to under any circumstances concede ground or go "well, gosh, you worked so hard and threw your own already-shaky morals in a trash can and set them on fire off a cliff, I'll be Nice about it" because Radiance is not a 'getting over things' dame in general and few people are decorous about their own execution-to-be.

So suddenly PK is hearing reports, urgent concerns, that the plague of madness has returned. A thing that shouldn't be possible- that he assured all of them would not be possible.

And the real knife that PK set up for himself: nobody knows what PK's miracle cure for the plague was, really. The Great Knights are close enough to suspect. White Lady knew. The Dreamers took it to their grave.

The average laybug? As Lemm says, there's no evidence left behind in Hallownest that even mentions the Hollow Knight besides their fountain.

From their perspective, their god did a miracle. And surely, as long as the god is strong and healthy, they can do it again; as many times as need be, right?

They have no idea what the cost of it was- or that PK in fact cashed an enormous horrifying debt in blood and innocent lives to buy what was ultimately, I suspect, a very short-lived peace- that the first plague and its return happened within an ordinary bug's lifetime. An eyeblink to someone like PK with a much longer life.

I don't really have a hard number on it, but I feel like the moment it became clear Hollow hadn't successfully and entirely contained the plague, PK... just kind of shut down, comprehensively, and vanished long before the City even went dark. A "noble" take might be that he felt he was no longer qualified to be a god to others and actively tried to starve himself away from their worship- I feel like more prominently he had no idea what to do with himself because his own obsessions with perfection made no room to deal with it and just kind of wanted to stop thinking by any means, which is not really a good look for a god whose main stock and trade is "precious mind"

In RFR, I've kind of been giving PK a perspective in hindsight about it- that at the moment of, he kind of didn't really process most of the implications as they struck him because of aforementioned things. He's slowly kind of dragging himself into admitting Hollow had feelings all along, and that maybe the vessels all did.

This is, in essence, the context behind his pretty weak apology to the Greenpath vessel's body:

“There was nothing you could have done,” he told it instead. “The process was flawed from the start. No exertion of effort could succeed before such impurities.”

It's not quite a pure, wholesome acceptance that his standards of purity for the vessels were both immoral and factually incorrect- but PK as I write him tends to be a person paradoxically ruled by completely insufferable god-scientist hubris and absolute unflinchable self-loathing. At this point, he's been knocked off the hubristic certainty that he totally knows everything about the void and about the vessels and it's fine to make plans for their entire lives and deaths because he knows everything they're capable of, so now he's mostly gone straight into self-loathing and firmly believes that whatever went "wrong" with the vessels was his fault entirely, he made them wrong or otherwise cursed their existence from the cradle- which is a bold step towards "actually being sorry about the ones who weren't his Favored Child" but not the only one he needs to take.

So, very short version:

PK blew that popsicle stand like it was going out of style like .5 days after it became obvious the plague wasn't stopping which meant the vast majority of the downfall of Hallownest was probably at least exacerbated on account of the acting sovereign suddenly kicking everybody out of his house and peaceing out into a pocket dimension made of his own horribly repressed emotions.

At this point in RFR he has a cognitive understanding that something went wrong with Hollow, and has not really developed a critical theory on it besides that it's probably his own damn fault, he gave that homunculus-heir Ideas.

It will probably at some point occur to PK that he's a horrifically lonely repressed nerd who on average wouldn't know a feeling if it bit him and this probably contributed seriously to at least some of the problems with the vessel project- which was really not so much a project as it was a whole bunch of problems wearing one man's deific artsy breakdown as a self-important hat.

[micasaessakusa]

The luckiest man alive

Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader Genre: Angst Word Count: 3.224 words Warnings: Memory loss

If someone were to ask Bokuto what he thinks about life, he would undoubtedly give an answer that couldn’t be fitted into a three-hour monologue.

Tangents about his favorite pleasant aspects of his life would be there: his friends and family, volleyball, the feeling of victory, the feeling of being loved, and speaking of love - you.

Bokuto Koutarou believes he’s a very lucky man. 

Of course, he gives great weight to hard work, but he’s just so lucky that his hard work has almost always been coupled with, well, luck. He’s lucky to have found his passion in volleyball, lucky to have been surrounded by people who always support him, lucky to have gotten the opportunities he’s been presented, lucky to be doing what he loves, and lucky that you’re there beside him.

Ups or downs, you’re there for him. And he’s so lucky that you make your presence even more known in his slumps. Did he do something good in his past life for him to be blessed with good fortune and you in his present life?

Maybe he saved the world or something, is what he always thinks.

And because of the luck that’s always been by his side, Bokuto is naturally optimistic. How could he not be positive when he always gets what he wants, right?

Sure, people see him as someone who’s easily swayed emotionally. And someone who feels down from the most mundane things must be a pessimist instead, right? That would make better sense, but when has Bokuto Koutarou ever abided by sense?

Even in the face of whatever Bokuto shows outside, his heart and mind are always set on looking towards the brighter side of things. 

For example: he can’t hit well? Aww too bad, and for sure he’ll mope around a bit. BUT he’s already looking forward to getting back up again and hitting those super satisfying straights and thin crosscourt shots of his. 

He fails an exam? You’ll see him hiding under his desk, muttering about how he just couldn’t get his mind to wrap around topics. BUT he’s already thinking of the tutoring he’s going to get from Yukie and Shirofuku because of course they’re not going to let their ace fail and get bumped off the team for academic failure.

They lose a game? He’ll undoubtedly be inconsolable for a day - maybe even two. BUT he’s already pumped with adrenaline from the anticipation of the future MSBY training sessions that would surely tire the heck out of him. They have to work to secure that next win after all.

Luck is always on his side. How could it not be when in his point of view, he’s the protagonist of the world.

Whatever comes his way is just a challenge waiting to be conquered. He could be sad and mopey for sometime, but for all intents and purposes, he’s absolute that he could triumph over anything.

To sum it up, even though Bokuto Koutarou could not be contained in a few words, if he does try to name a few to describe himself, it would be: lucky, optimistic, and of course, grateful. Gotta be thankful for all that fortune after all.

That’s who he is. 

So when word reached him that you got into a terrible car accident that almost took your life, he cried.

He cried, sobbed-- he broke down in anguish and absolutely refused to leave your side throughout the whole operation to save your life. He remained adamant to not leave you by yourself in the weeks that took for you to recover, and he willed himself to remain optimistic that you would wake up from the coma-- that he could once again be given the chance to gaze upon your gentle, familiar orbs that he’s come to cherish so much.

It tore his heart to see you asleep. 

That’s what he took to calling it: asleep, for if he called it what it really was, he’s afraid he’d break down even more. And break down he did. Just after being told of the severity of your condition, he fell to his knees on the hospital hallway, unable to support himself from the disbelief, the sadness that he felt. But his friends and family were there the whole time, never leaving him to fend for himself.

His teammates never left his side, especially Shouyou, your cousin Omi, Tsum Tsum, and of course, Kuroo and Keiji. Even with their own busy lives, Bokuto’s just so lucky to have special people that gave him strength when he needed it the most.

Bokuto wept from the accident, but he thanks his lucky stars that you survived, you made it out alive and that’s what really matters. He’s grateful that despite what happened, you weren’t taken away from him, and because of that, he’s optimistic that you’re going to wake up and give him the privilege to be with you again.

The universe must have heard his wishes, for you suddenly woke up a couple of days after the fifth week mark.

He remembers it clearly.

It was nine in the morning, he saw the time on the dashboard of his car before he shut the engine off. Lucky he found a parking spot near the entrance, as he remembers that time Atsumu drove him to the hospital and it took them almost half an hour to find a spot.

His ringtone broke through the sound of the morning rush just as he closed the door to the driver’s seat. Plucking his mobile out of his jean pockets and holding a cup of coffee with his other hand, he answered the call, seeing ‘Omi-Omi’ on the screen.

“Yes, Om--”

“[Y/N]’s awake--”

The steaming coffee slipped from his grasp and that’s all it took for him to run through the parking lot and into the entrance. He spotted a line in the elevator so he turned a corner instead, and opted to hike seven flights of stairs to your floor, skipping two or three steps to get there faster.

His heart was beating so fast it felt like it’s going to burst out of his chest, but he ignored it. He didn’t even notice the muted ringing in his ears from the adrenaline, all he’s thinking was how he needed to see you, he needed to see you. He needed to see you he needed to see you he needed to see--

All eyes turned to him when he barged into the room.

It felt like all the air escaped his body as he stood there glued to his spot. He saw you, already seated and looking at him.

You’re looking at him.

He didn’t notice the tears streaming down his face.

He took the first step, the second, the third, and soon he found himself kneeling beside your bed, your small hand grasped into his warm and much larger pair. Holding it tight with the desperation of a man afraid to lose his only one.

And there, he let it all go. It all came crashing down on him. The tears fell even harder than before as he cried his heart out. --the panic upon seeing your unmoving body, the fear that you might not survive the operation, the horror that gripped him when they told him you were in a coma.

--the adrenaline that seized him when Sakusa called, the nervousness in his steps on his way up. The relief from seeing you awake--

“Who are you?”

His entire body stiffened upon hearing your voice. First, from the unparalleled comfort of having to hear you again after so long, but then he registered what you said.

Still sniffling, he wiped his tears with the back of his hands, only then realizing how much he cried from the moment he saw you. His brows furrowed a little in confusion, looking around the room for a bit, only then did he process the solemn looks on the faces of his friends, each one unable to look him in the eye.

“What--?” he said softly as he let his gaze go back to you. 

“I’m sorry,” you told him in an equally soft voice. “I don’t know who you are.”

Your voice was barely above a whisper, but it might as well have been a shout from how loud your words rang in his ears. You turned your gaze away from him, pulling your hand free from his grasp as you kept your own hands clasped on your lap instead.

“Kiyoomi,” you called out with a bit of urgency, making your cousin rush to your side to give you the sense of security you needed.

The doctor cleared his throat lightly, catching his attention. Still confused and unable to wrap his head around what was happening, he stood up and walked slowly out of the room as he was escorted outside. He chanced a glimpse at your tired body just before the door shut. 

He saw Kiyoomi huddled over your form as you held onto him desperately. 

You didn’t even spare Bokuto a glance.

That was around twelve months ago, just seconds before the doctor finally told him about your condition. How the blunt force trauma to your head caused brain damage, which ultimately resulted in a version of retrograde amnesia.

But it was partial, said the doctor. The accident only seemed to have affected a few years of your life. Fortunately for you, you were able to retain your memories until some time after college. At least you didn’t have to wake up at a loss about who you are, at least you know your family, at least you remember your cousin Kiyoomi, at least at least at least at least-- but it was all just a big blur to Bokuto.

The moment he heard you remember just after college --roughly about a year after your uni grad when you tried out for pro-league, he blanked out, because that means you don’t remember him.

A year, that’s how long it’s been since you woke up. One year, one month, two weeks, and six days since the accident you were in, if he wants to be specific.

Months spent dying to engulf you in his embrace. Months spent unable to lie in bed with you beside him, to just go back to talking about nothing and everything at the same time. Months spent just visiting you in Sakusa’s loft because that’s where you’re more comfortable staying.

He respects your boundaries, but he just can’t help but miss everything about you.

He misses you. 

A lot.

But still, he thanks the world for keeping you alive. He can’t even begin to imagine what life would be for him had things taken a turn for the worse, but he doesn’t have to think about that. Again, what matters is you’re alive and well.

Even with your condition, Bokuto still believes he’s lucky to have you by his side. Well, maybe not all of you, because while you’ve slowly gotten back to some of your usual routines like work, you still don’t have an inkling of who Bokuto really was, or is supposed to be for you.

The two of you go out on dates, and on some days, you even sleep in his apartment - your shared apartment. He takes you to his games, you go to family events together and the like. But even when you spend most of your time together, you still don’t remember your Kou.

He’s thankful for your safety, but he can’t help but wish for your speedy recovery every single night. There’s not a day that has gone by where he doesn’t wish for your brain to just suddenly regain what it lost.

No matter, though, Bokuto always thinks. This is just another challenge he has to overcome, and because he knows you’re strong, he’s optimistic that you could conquer this one, even if hope seems a little bleak this time around.

But he’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes to get you back.

You’ve decided to resume training with the EJP Raijin, your home team, of course under the guidance of your personal therapist and your trainers. He’s not too worried about your safety as he personally made sure to get a therapist recommended by his most trusted coaches. Plus, Motoya trains with the EJP men’s team, so really, you’re well taken care of.

The idea was also approved by your doctors who suggested you go back to doing what you mostly did before the accident to possibly try to trigger memories to resurface.

He snaps out of his trance as he watches your practice match. Your coaches let you participate in this one even though you’re still out of commission for the league proper.

It’s just training, but the way you move reminds him of when he first saw you in action. You might not remember participating in the league, but your movement now on the court serves as a painful but very beautiful reminder of what made him fall for you in the first place.

You might not have your memories, but everything else -your focus, determination, tenacity, your strength, it’s all there, and Bokuto could do nothing but smile in his sheer awe of your person.

What he doesn’t expect, however, is for you to run straight to him after having won the practice match. Sweaty and a bit out of breath, he sees you running straight towards him.

And heavens, your smile… the smile on your face right now could light up his life forever.

He opens his arms to catch you as you jump into his hold, winding your arms around his neck to keep him in a tight hug.

“Kou!” you exclaim. “We won!”

And he freezes.

You feel him stiffen almost instantly. Bokuto’s so far into his head that he fails to register the wide smile on his own face and the tears that promptly run down his cheeks.

You remember him! You remember him you remember him you remember--

“Kou?”

He jolts from his thoughts as he looks at you expectantly. You raise your hand to wipe the tears that adorn his face, a worried frown decorating your own.

“Why are you crying?” you say as you tilt your head in confusion.

“Do you remember now?” he breathes out the words so quietly you almost don’t hear them but the moment you do, it doesn’t escape his notice how the color practically drained from your face.

“I--, Bokuto--”

It feels like his heart is being gripped by barbed wires as he registers what you just said.

Bokuto. Bokuto-- you don’t remember him. You don’t. You do not remember him. You still don’t.

And that’s all it takes for him to release you from his hold as if you had just burned him. You try to reach out to him, but he steps away from you. Shaking his head in denial? Hurt? Confusion?

He sprints away out of the gymnasium, his thoughts running wild, filling his mind with unfiltered hatred of the world.

It’s just not fair! Why is this happening to him! Why must the world be cruel when he’s done nothing but good! Why must it happen to you and him! Why? Why!

Why can’t you just remember him!

And he collapses on his knees at the deserted hallway, his sobs coming out raw and wounded. The pain of having you stare at him without recognition for a year burning his heart and seizing it with just-- just hurt.

He cries at his hatred of the world. The optimism he so absolutely and almost religiously held onto for his entire life breaking apart at his feet like shards of glass.

And like that, he also finally breaks.

A year. He tried to stay positive for a year, enduring the feeling of his beloved looking at him as if he’s a stranger, as if they didn’t share years together. As if the growth they had with each other meant nothing to the world. As if everything they shared with each other was so miniscule to just be gone because of one accident.

And so he cries and cries. He lets the anguish come out. He lets the anger and hatred and pain come out with each choked sob.

It must have been a minute, five, or maybe thirty minutes, an hour.. He doesn’t know. He heaves himself out of his slumped position to sit on the floor, and he closes his eyes as he lets his head tilt back against the cool surface of the wall. 

He’s just so tired from everything.

It’s only when he opens his eyes again does he see you standing a ways away, face fallen as if the world turned its back on you. And from the looks of it, he knows you saw his meltdown.

You approach him, taking small steps in an attempt to see if he’s going to drive you away, but he makes no move to stop you.

All the while, he keeps his tearful gaze on you as you kneel in front of him.

A fresh bout of tears breaks free from his eyes the moment you take his calloused palms into your careful hold.

“Kou,” you call his name softly. “This past year has been challenging for me… but I can’t even imagine how- how terrifying everything must have been for you.”

Your voice remains low, but he hears it loud and clear, and his heart clenches from how you’ve thought about him even when you can’t remember him.

“I know it’s not the same. I’m not the same, but Kou--,” you halt, and his eyes widen open upon seeing tears in your own pair. “I don’t remember you, but when I see you sad I-- I just can’t take seeing you sad.”

A choked sob escapes your throat, and his instincts tell him to pull you into his strong hold and he does. The warmth emanating from his body makes you relax into his familiar touch.

“I still don’t remember, and I don’t know if I ever will. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just-- I’m sorry,” your cries reach his ears, and he pulls you even closer to his chest, hugging you against him to ease your pain away.

You raise your palm to caress his jaw, prompting him to look at you, and he does. He looks at you as if you’re his whole world, memories be damned. Challenges be damned. Because now, as he looks at you, as he actually looks at you, he sees the same you that he fell in love with.

“My brain doesn’t know you the way it used to, but my heart… my heart knows you, Bokuto Koutarou.”

He sees the same you that he keeps falling in love with over and over every single day of his life.

And as your lips meet in a whispered confession of love shared only between the two of you, he finally comprehends just how lucky he is to have you in his life.

Memories be damned.

Challenges be damned.

But his luck? He’ll forever thank his lucky stars for bringing you into his life.

For as long as he has you by his side, he’ll forever remain the luckiest man alive.

[lizacstuff]

Sen Çal Kapımı / Edser Asks

After the fragman, I got a few anons this afternoon, my answer are under the cut. 

(Also my initial reactions are in this post.)

Anonymous said: In the spirit of optimism- when Eda broke up with Serkan in 25, everyone freaked out but by the end of the next episode, she proposed LOL. Maybe just maybe they won’t do the “everyone pretends Selin and Serkan are a thing for medical reasons for multiple episodes” route and someone gets her kicked to the curb in 29. I wonder how much of the 2.5 hrs will be before he comes back and how much is after.

LOL, I certainly would like Selin to be back for only one episode. I hope my speculation is right (this post,)and her narrative purpose is to make Serkan distrust Eda from the start and once she’s done that she can exit stage right. 

As for the theory you mention, which I have seen on twitter, I don’t see people pretending they’re together for medical reasons. That makes zero sense to me (not that medical diagnosis on a silly romantic dramedy dizi would be accurate, lol) why would that be necessary? Why would anyone go along with that? Especially when all he would need to do is google himself to find out about his relationship with Eda.  They were all over the tabloids and on the cover of a magazine. Plus it seems like he knows about Eda, Selin tells him "she turned you into someone you’re not and dragged you into a different world.”  He has to know they were in a relationship.

There is a lot of knee-jerk hysteria over there right now which is leading to completely neurosis-induced, nonsensical, worst-case scenario speculation. I recommend avoiding for awhile if anyone is easily upset by that type of thing. 

As for the timeline of the ep, great question. I am hoping that the walk into ArtLife is not the end of the episode. We’re going to need to see Serkan and Eda meeting face to face before this episode is up in order to survive! We know almost the full cast (including Hande and Kerem) were shooting at a cafe yesterday, and the cast looked dressed up. Most thought it was for 1x28, so that seems like there are scenes with Serkan and the full cast in this ep. 

Though, the show has a lot of questions to answer.  How in God’s name did he end up in that cabin? Did he get on the plane or not?  Was he held captive and got dropped in the woods with only Selin’s phone number? Has he been in a coma?  Was there foul play involved?   Was there a brain injury or did Babaanne arrange his kidnapping and give him some experimental drug to wipe out his memories of Eda? 

Not sure if this Deniz is a law enforcement official or some sort of private detective, but there would have been some sort of official inquiry and search when he went missing. So he can’t just be lazing around for 2 months, easily findable. And Selin can’t have been with him for anything length of time without the others knowing he’s alive, because that would pretty much be kidnapping. So what HAPPENED? 

Anonymous said: I hope we get good Eda and Aydan moments. She didn’t get married but she is still Aydan’s daughter now. He’s going to come back and find that this woman has his mother, his company, his dog, his car, his friends.....there’s no way that he doesn’t just know that Selin has been a snake.

Yes, please!  I’m sure we will get Eda and Aydan moments, it looks from the first trailer that they will lean on each other while he’s missing. Which they should, they’ll be the two that will hold out hope and give one another comfort. 

I am LOVING that Eda is driving his car and taking care of his dog. As she should, they were hours away from being married! And yes, you’re correct, he’s going to find Eda so deeply embedded in everything he remembers (except Selin) that it’s going to drive him crazy. Who is this woman and how did she ensorcell him so thoroughly? Can’t wait for him to find out. 

You know what I’m most looking forward to in regards to Aydan? Serkan’s shock that his mother has conquered her agoraphobia. Can’t wait for him to find out that Eda was instrumental in helping her do that. 

She is going to hit him like an emotional freight train. A second time. 

Anonymous said: i know most of the fandom has already accepted it as fact bc they can't wait for the actual ep to make conclusions, but i'm less inclined to believe he's been in that cabin w/ selin for 2 months.. idk HOW he gets there, or how selin ends up there.. but for some reason i think they find him first, and he takes off by himself for a bit as he's overwhelmed with the whole situation.. and then selin enters. idk, we'll have to see it, but i think, like all trailers, it's confusing on purpose.

This theory is definitely possible. That he’s found and freaks out and goes to the cabin. Perhaps the last he remembers he was still with Selin so he reaches out to her for answer about what’s going on.  That would make sense why he accepts her comfort, and she gives it, but can’t help herself from trying to do everything in her power to make him distrust Eda. Even if she doesn’t have hope of reconciliation, just to cause chaos because she doesn’t want them to find happiness together. She’s said it more than once, she didn’t want him happy, while she was not. 

Anonymous said: I am not emotionally prepared to watch the look on Eda’s face when Serkan walks in holding hands with Selin after being missing for the last two months....😭😭😭. Also even if Serkan & Selin are purely platonic watching their scenes together are going to be brutal. I am prepared to cry ( both tears of joy & sadness) & be very mad at various points in this episode. It will be an rollercoaster of emotions for sure.

Yep, pretty much all of this!  I don’t think I’m going to enjoy watching this episode at all. However, my hope is that I will really enjoy watching the storyline that it sets up where we get to watch Serkan fall in love with Eda all over again.  Think of all the delicious, UST-y, sexy, funny, fiery, passionate scenes that are in store for us! 

Off the top of my head, things I want:

Serkan opening Madonna in a Fur Coat and finding their photo

Serkan’s deep-seated memory kicking in and mindlessly tearing the crusts off bread for her without realizing it or knowing why

Finding out his computer password and what it means

Seeing photos of them from their matchmaking party. Looking so in love and surrounded by friends and family and everyone looks so happy

One of the friends, Engin or Piril snapping and telling him the big change Eda brought about in him was just that he was happy

Serkan seeing media clippings of them and their relationship

Eda handcuffing him so they have to spend time together while trying to jog his memory

After being suspicious and trying to keep her at arms length, Serkan finally breaking down and asking her questions about their relationship

Serkan being mistrustful of her, but still unable to say no to her

Anonymous said: So I get that SCK is going through a reset and now we will get to watch Eda & Serkan fall in love again but seriously they brought Selin back like that...WTF? Now she is even worse than Balca. Plus the entire world thinks Serkan is dead but somehow Selin found him and never bothered to tell anyone else...that should send up some red flags for sure. Regardless of the explanation, this situation is going to crush Eda. And it seems like a lot to go through to have him immediately get his memories back so we could be stuck with this storyline for a while.

Yes, poor Eda is going to be crushed no matter what.  However, I know that people have been theorizing that the memory loss would be short, but I never thought it would be.  What’s the point of this reset unless they’re going to follow through with it and milk it for as many episode as possible. They’re trying to find ways to keep this show going and this is their big swing. 

The entire point is to recreate the magic of Eda and Serkan falling in love, and, honestly, I'm not sure why anyone would want that to be over in 2 episodes. I don’t see it as being stuck with the amnesia story, I’m excited for all the parallels, watching Serkan get struck by lightning a second time when he first sees her.  Watching him be suspicious of her, of her motives of her abilities, but then finding out all the same things that he found out the first time, that she’s fierce, kind-hearted, loyal and talented. And just a bright shining light for him. 

My heart melts just thinking about it.  We just have to get rid of that opportunistic, malevolent, bitter hag. 

Anonymous said: one complaint that i've seen in regards to sck is that characters aren't sent off properly.. but outside of maybe fifi (which we don't know how they'll explain her leaving) am i the only one that doesn't... really care? everyone that's left has been unsubstantial or in a villain role, and personally whatever way they leave i'm fine with lol.. i know when selin left ppl were mad bc they wanted a redemption story arc for her.. but not every character NEEDS that by default, if that makes sense.

For context, this ask was sent before the fragman.  I agree with you, no side character needs redemption by default. I’ve said it many times, but on this specific show, really only two characters matter: Eda and Serkan. This is their story. Their love story. Everyone else is supporting in the truest sense of the word. They all exist to prop up the A story. So for most of them their journey doesn’t matter unless it directly affects Eda or Serkan. (Aydan’s growth and redemption has directly impacted Eda and Serkan and that’s why time has been spent on it). Selin is a tool. She’s behaved erratically at time because she only exists for the writers to use her to antagonize the protagonists. Her story in and of itself does not matter. 

I laughed hysterically when some on twitter were thinking Serkan might really be dead and Kerem was leaving the show. 

Seriously? You think they would try to keep this show going without Edser? That anyone would pay money for it, without them?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If one of them were to leave, the show would be over. Dead. Cancelled. There is NO reason for this show to keep going other than for more Edser. Everything else is an after thought, filler, or characters that prop up Eda and Serkan either literally or symbolically or thematically. Nothing else stands on it’s own.

They devised this storyline in order to go back to the magic of these two people falling in love. Full stop. That’s why we’re seeing this reset.  Because no other characters or their storylines are compelling enough to carry the show.  I applaud the writers for creating a situation where we could watch Serkan fall in love with Eda one more time. (just get rid of Selin, please, so I can enjoy it... and do it quickly.)

[aion-rsa]

Memento and the Significance of Sammy Jankis

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

“Have I told you about Sammy Jankis?”  

On March 16, 2001, Christopher Nolan announced himself to the world with the US release of Memento. Not that everyone heard him straight away.

Despite garnering rave reviews on the festival circuit, Nolan’s mind-bending jigsaw puzzle of a movie failed to land a major distribution deal in the States. In the end Newmarket Films, the independent production company bankrolling the project, took the plunge and distributed it themselves. 

Memento went on to earn more than $45 million at the US box office from a $4.5 million budget – a huge sum for an independent film.

Within five years, Nolan would move on to bigger and Bat-er things, but Memento remains among his most ambitious and effective films to date. A non-linear neo-noir that doubles up as a psychological thriller, it’s a film that continues to offer up subtle surprises on repeat viewing.

Guy Pearce takes centre stage with a mesmeric performance as Leonard, a man with short-term memory loss trying to track down his wife’s murderer. His pursuit is hampered by an inability to create new memories. 

It’s a similarly disorientating experience for viewers who must piece together Leonard’s story while it plays out in reverse order. Allied to this is the story of Sammy Jankis, played by Stephen Tobolowsky, which intersperses that of Leonard’s and plays out across a series of black-and-white scenes shown in chronological order. 

Narrated by Leonard, from an apparent recollection of a case he took during days as an insurance investigator, like our protagonist, Sammy also claims to be anterograde amnesiac – and that’s not all they have in common.

The film continues to alternate between the two narratives, with Leonard obsessively telling the tale of Sammy to anyone who will listen, before the two stories eventually converge in a climax where their shared plight becomes painfully apparent. 

Despite its modest budget, Memento boasted an impressive cast. Pearce had shot to mainstream fame with LA Confidential a few years earlier while Joe Pantoliano, who played Leonard’s helper/fixer Teddy, was an established figure in the business along with his co-star from The Matrix, Carrie Anne Moss.

There was even a role for future Sons of Anarchy star and Nolan favourite Mark Boone Junior as the underhand manager of the motel where Leonard lives. Tobolowsky more than held his own though. 

A seasoned character actor, by the time Memento came around he had enjoyed a memorable turn in Groundhog Day as the hilariously grating insurance agent Ned Ryerson. But it hadn’t been without its drawbacks in the years that followed.

Tobolowsky explained to Den of Geek: “The good news and bad news of being Ned in Groundhog Day is, guess what? You’re going to be Ned in Groundhog Day for the rest of your career. A lot of times when people are in comedic roles and want to do something more dramatic, it’s not available to them. Especially with something like Groundhog Day. An actor like me could get an opportunity to be in a drama but it might not work out because the audience would still see Ned Ryerson. Not this role. Sammy Jankis was so remarkably different.”

Landing the role of Jankis proved remarkably different too, starting with Nolan’s script, based on a short story written by his brother Jonathan called Memento Mori.

“My agent called me up and said John Papsidera, a casting director, wanted me to take a look at this script. John had a reputation for doing really unusual and generally good movies so I was very happy to. A standard first draft script is usually around 120 pages before a producer or director gets their hands on it. Because of the way it is formatted, one page should equal around one minute of screen time. I got the screenplay for Memento and it was like the Old and New Testament combined. I had never seen a script so big. I don’t remember the exact page numbers but it was in the 300s.”

Having seen his fair share of scripts over the years, Tobolowksy was apprehensive about reading what looked like the equivalent of “Gone with the Wind times ten.”

“I was thinking to myself ‘Oh God, this is going to be terrible. ’I even said to my wife, ‘ I know it’s going to be awful. It’s three times longer than normal but I’m going to read it just to be a good sport.’ I start reading and I’m halfway through and my wife comes in and I’m saying ‘damn it, damn it’ and she says ‘Terrible?’ and I say ‘No, so far really great but there’s no way these writers can continue at this level. It’s going to crap out by the end.”

“I get to the end and I throw the script across the room and my wife hears me, comes in, and says ‘Terrible?’ and I say ‘No, quite possibly the best script I’ve ever read.’” Nolan’s script was unlike any Tobolowsky had read, bringing the filmmaker’s vision for the movie to life in stunning detail.

“Chris and Jonathan wrote it in a way where they describe exactly what the camera is doing. Everything was perfectly described and you got a picture of the movie in your head, backwards and forwards in time. It was mind-blowing. I called up my agent immediately and said I had to meet Chris Nolan. I had to talk to him about Sammy Jankis.”

Despite few lines, the role of Sammy was a significant one. A part that much of the film’s plot ultimately rested on. Determined to make the role his own and shake off the ghost of Ned, Tobolowsky met with Nolan knowing he had a unique selling point when it came to the role. 

“I said ‘Chris, I didn’t come here to read for you. There’s nothing really for me to read, but this is what I want to tell you: this is quite possibly one of the best screenplays ever written. You are going to have actors all over this city that will want to be in this. However, I am going to be the only person that wants to be Sammy Jankis who has actually had amnesia.’ 

Chris said: ‘You’ve had amnesia?’ and I was like ‘Yes, and this is how it happened…’”

Tobolowsky explained that during surgery for a kidney stone, doctors had used an experimental drug in place of the standard anesthesia.

“I’m a big guy, like six foot three and 210 pounds, so they gave me a new drug that they had been using on bigger people. It means they are able to give instructions to the patient like to get up on the operating table, rather than have orderlies lifting them. The patient performs the task and then forgets it had happened. It worked the same with the pain.”

It led to what he describes as “drug induced amnesia” as the medication worked its way through his system. “I would be in my living room and then boom! It was like I was just born. The worst was when I was standing over the toilet and suddenly didn’t know if I was about to pee or if I had already peed. Fortunately, I heard my wife yell ‘you finished ten minutes ago!’”

The description of his ordeal was enough to convince Nolan he was the man for the job – but that was only the start of the challenge for Tobolowsky.

“It was the most difficult part I have ever played in my life. When you are an actor, the thing that moves you through a scene is your motivation. But when your character can’t remember anything, you don’t have that.”

In order to better portray Sammy’s damaged mind, he began by breaking down the character’s actions into behaviors marked as either old or new.

“There are the old, every day, behaviors we don’t think about like making breakfast. The rote nature of that behavior means you might do it quickly, almost mechanically. Then there is the newer stuff that takes longer because you are trying to understand what you are doing for the first time. 

“I had met people who have lost their memory, through Alzheimer’s or an accident, and noticed how these old behaviors were still familiar to them.”

This attention to detail was not lost on audiences.

In one small but memorable moment, Sammy greets Leonard at the door of his home with a look Leonard initially believes to be recognition and proof he is faking his condition.

It’s only later, when Leonard begins to understand his own plight, that Nolan has us revisit that same look, only this time with the realisation Sammy’s expression is instead one of desperate hope with that complex duality perfectly conveyed by Tobolowsky.

“That look was about putting out a message saying ‘I am sorry I may know you, so I don’t want to embarrass myself or you by acting like I don’t know you,’” Tobolowsky explains.

Later, after Leonard has rejected Sammy’s insurance claim, his wife, played by Frasier star Harriet Sansom Harris, decides to test the theory for herself by having him administer shot after shot of insulin, in the hope he will realise his mistake before she suffers a fatal overdose.

It’s then that we see Tobolowsky channeling the mechanical, emotionless actions of old, going through the motions of giving his wife the shot, as he has always done, oblivious to the tragic implications for both characters.

But Sammy is oblivious, with Tobolowsky’s emotionless, robotic approach to the repeated injections – something he has done for years – adding a layer of tragedy simultaneously to both characters.

“We all worked it out together in the moment. You let the truth emerge from the scene in the moment the camera is running.”

However, the true significance of Sammy in the wider story of Leonard only fully emerges later in the film after the latter’s revelatory encounter with Teddy.

It’s Teddy who reveals that he has been using Leonard to kill criminal associates. He claims to have tracked down the real “John G” behind the murder of Leonard’s wife years ago and, most tellingly, that Sammy’s story is actually Leonard’s, created to absolve himself of guilt. 

Which begs the question: Are Sammy and Leonard simply one and the same person? And, if so, did Leonard kill his wife by accident?

While some degree of ambiguity remains, Tobolowsky says such notions played into Nolan’s decision to include a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment where Sammy, holed up in an old folk’s home, is for a brief flash, replaced by Leonard. 

“Chris played with the idea on set. He said he had an idea for a moment where he would replace me with Guy. He wanted to try that out. That was determined while filming, the idea of the switch, which cements the idea of the two characters being one and the same. 

“Chris was mining the depths of his script in the moment, which takes nerve as an artist.  “

Reflecting on the experience, Tobolowsky only has positive memories of his experience on Memento, and the commitment shown by Pearce – particularly when it came to the tattoos that serve as reminders to Leonard of his past and forgotten present.

“Guy Pearce was just magnificent,” he says. “Every day, he would be in the chair getting those tattoos put on or removed. There would be long make-up breaks to get them adjusted perfectly and Chris would have it so that we would be shooting while Guy was in the makeup trailer.”

“Chris was a fabulous director to work with. Full of good humour and insight. The entire shoot was filled with energy and fun and that came from the top. I knew right away I was working with somebody very special. Chris takes chances.”

Tobolowsky holds his experience on Memento in the highest regard.

“When you do a lot of shows and movies, the idea is not how many you can squeeze in, it’s about which ones mattered to you.  The work you did that affected you as a person and an artist. Something like Memento is profoundly affecting with the questions it asks.

“What haunts me about Sammy Jankis was that idea that if you cannot remember what you do, both your sins and your blessings, what kind of hell are you in?  That final scene where Sammy is the old folk’s home, there is this question: Is he at peace? If you don’t know what is happening to you, what is your life? And what happens to Leonard? 

He also credits the film with changing his career for the better.

“After I did Memento, I was considered for all sorts of roles that I wouldn’t have been before. It broke the Groundhog Day mold and showed what I was capable of. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“There have been so many movies I have been in. Some terrible, some mediocre and a few classics. It always comes down to the script and director. Memento is one of the good ones. It’s a masterpiece. There’s nothing quite like it.”

The post Memento and the Significance of Sammy Jankis appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/30SAPVO

[silver-wields-a-pen]

WIP INTRO:

Titles in the series: 

Divinely Volatile - Protagonists: Ryang Ji-hoon/Fen Yueliang

Deadly Lineage - Protagonists: Ambrose Fewtree/Vera Ucci

Cold Snap - Protagonists: Tan Shun/Sarnai Ramchaa

Scorched Desire - Protagonists: Mohammed al Sadat/Sorcha Dunaid

Heavenly Kodachi - Protagonists: Hisakawa Tadamasa/Aurora McCabb

Broken Oaths - Protagonists: Hisakawa Yoshihiro/Ina Howell

Smudged Iron - Protagonists: Calum McCabb/Glenn Oake

Blood Covenant - Protagonists: All of the above

DIVINELY VOLATILE

Ryang Ji-hoon had a talent for blowing things up. After an incident in his youth he had two choices: put those skills to good use or go to jail. It was a no brainer. His methods were flashy, messy and chaotic; the opposite of his personality. Fen Yueliang: a decorated soldier, good at protecting high profile targets. She's got a bullseye on her back and the only way it's getting hit is with something big and messy. Of course, everything goes wrong. Ji-hoon tries everything to backtrack the situation, but there's nothing to do but continue forward, getting into bigger messes that aren't the kind he's used to dealing with. Yueliang senses something's off about Ji-hoon, but can't put her finger on it. The more time they spend together the more she questions if it's something right with him instead.

DEADLY LINEAGE

Ambrose Fewtree: poison master for the Brotherhood. His methods are untraceable and flawless, unless the client says otherwise. With his unassuming looks and ability to blend into the woodwork, by the time anyone realises what's happening he's long gone. Vera Ucci is related to a distant line of Sardinian royalty. With her political and sociological grandstanding, she's making the wrong kind of impression on those who want to return to the glory days of old. Since she can't be killedin an obvious way, Ambrose is sent to Italy to take care of things quietly. He runs into problems when Vera notices him. No one notices him. Ever. She engages in small talk about one of his favourite subjects and from there it grows harder to get the job done.

COLD SNAP

Tan Shun is the best assassin in the Brotherhood. He's the most expensive, the most sought after. He never misses and doesn't understand the word mercy. Raised among heartless killers, he has ice running in his veins. His latest target is a name on a piece of paper and he doesn't want to know more. There is one word to describe Sarnai Ramchaa: capable. An investigative reporter, she's using all of her contacts and skills to look into a chemical factory explosion fifteen years before, in which both her parents died. With a personal stake in the result, she's not letting this one go, despite the threats she's received. After a busy night, Sarnai is heading home when someone approaches her from behind. On edge, she strikes out. It's a man, and the blow to his head has given him amnesia. He's her responsibility until his memory returns. Over the days it takes for Shun to remember, he finds himself falling for Sarnai. When he remembers, he wants to forget again. It works, until someone else comes after her and he's forced to reveal his skills.

SCORCHED DESIRE

Mohammed al Sadat has other skills make up for the lack of killer instinct. With his charming smile and easy manner, he cosies up to the coldest of marks, gets them to spill their secrets, and leaves them none the wiser. Sorcha Dunaid is next in line for CEO of Kingdom Conglomerate. With her mane of fiery red hair, people often assume she's wild and spirited, but her business like calm cuts them down to size. Her heart remains firmly inside her chest, no matter who tries to claim it. One, cliched night in a bar, Sorcha sits next to a man with the most heartbreaking eyes she's ever seen. They chat, toast, drink, and then she leaves, smiling at his look of surprise. Mo thought his job would be easy. Sorcha responded to him just like all the rest, but then she dismissed him. He can't finish the job without her corporate secrets, but has a feeling getting them will take more than a winning smile and smouldering look.

HEAVENLY KODACHI

Hisakawa Tadamasa: youngest son of he who created the Brotherhood. Expectations for success are stratospheric compared to his brothers. He is tested often. Given jobs that don't quite ring true, but he never stops to question. Until the latest one. Aurora McCabb isn't the typical mark. Living off grid in Alaska, on native land that was her family's before the first settlers, no one would think she'd done anything to warrant a price on her head. Bright and free spirited, she lives day to day, enjoying all that life gives. And he was there to take it away. Tada watched from the shadows, observing Aurora teasing her two brothers, helping her father and grandmother. He would learn everything about her before he decided to obey his father. If her death was a test of obedience he would fail. If it wasn't...he might fail anyway. Could he really fell a star from the heavens?

BROKEN OATHS

Hisakawa Yoshihiro, Tadamasa's older brother and third in line for taking the reins of the Brotherhood, should anything happen to his father or brothers. He teaches the craft and does it well, but doesn't take his skills into the field. Until now. Doctor Ina Howell is secretly investigating the hospital she works at after learning they had something to hide. What she's found has put her in the crosshairs. Being good in theory, somehow doesn't translate to practice, and Yoshi fluffs shooting Ina. Instead, he winds up with a bullet hole in his foot and her tending to it. Instead of gratitude, Yoshi is lectured. The level of affront he feels at this makes him return again and again, trying to convince himself he's working up to killing Ina, but in actuality, he's just falling for her. If he breaks from the Brotherhood he risks angering his father. If he doesn't, he risks breaking his own heart.

SMUDGED IRON

Glenn Oake isn't part of the Brotherhood. She tried convincing the head that having a set of breasts would make her job more fun, but he didn't bite. His loss, since she had more work than she could handle thanks to the best of them jumping ship. Calum McCabb doesn't fade into the background. Thanks to his reckless little sister his family relocated, but he stayed, reasoning he could handle any man stepping onto his land. He didn't expect for a woman to come. Fortunately got Calum, Glenn prefers getting information from her targets in more pleasurable ways. He isn't finding it hard to keep his mouth shut, but he is finding it hard not to spill the beans about everything else. As Glenn teases Calum into revealing his hopes and fears, she starts wondering if she isn't playing herself, too.

BLOOD COVENANT

All the players are in place for one final showdown. They want their lives back. They want answers. It'll be a struggle to get them. Not everyone may succeed.

[unluckyxse7en-moving]

Can I ask a question? I have been wondering stuff about myself and in the panel where it says "before 'me' disappeared." it stuck out to me. I've never had a good grip on who I am and figured I had to build it. Idk hat that is. Nor do I expect you to answer that. My question is, could you explain it more?

Yes, absolutely, you’re totally welcome to ask! and idk how well I can explain it but I’ll do my best based on my current personal understanding and experience! obligatory disclaimer, many systems have unique experiences and it’s not always consistent or cut and dry from system to system, but if something about this does hit home I encourage you to look into researching it more as you feel comfortable! Also a heads up, I’m going to probably overexplain terms and concepts since I’m not sure what you do know, plus if someone else reading this isn’t familiar I figure that may help them too, so bear with me! ^^ (this got incredibly long and incredibly personal, I hope that’s ok! We’ve found hearing about personal experiences from others always helped give us a way to compare our experience better in ways that medical definitions don’t help with, so we got detailed in hopes it’ll be helpful to someone. heads up, there’s some references to feelings of unreality.)

Gonna try to put this under a cut since it got so long, let’s hope tumblr cooperates!

So admittedly, I was intrigued when you sent this line in, because while I’ve reread this comic a couple times before posting it, I didn’t remember writing a line exactly like that. As it turns out, the writing was meant to say “when ‘He’ disappeared” but it’s really oddly unclear whether it’s an H or an M at first glance compared to the rest of the script? If I’m honest I actually prefer your interpretation better, especially because the ambiguity lends more to the comic’s meaning in retrospect. I’m not gonna say something like ‘oh one of my alters must’ve done that on purpose’ because back then our handwriting was just an inconsistent mess in general and the most involvement we could probably credit to the alters was just one person tried to write that H in their handwriting when someone else was supposed to be writing it. But I thought that was an interesting case of serendipity so I couldn’t help pointing it out lmao 

 That said, I think your reading actually makes just as much sense in the context of the comic, and is a phenomenon I think I can readily explain that I have had a little experience with. Currently, my system setup is a little bit like an archeological dig. The alters that have surfaced the most, who have been the ones in charge of actions/words/emotional responses/etc, aka ‘fronted’, are all the ones who have formed in more recent years. The ones from years past are further back, and harder to access because we’ve developed a protective setup where the newer alters act as barricades to keep the older ones from being more exposed to trauma, or anything else they can’t handle. At its core, that’s what the function of a system is - to develop other alters who can handle situations more vulnerable parts can’t - but not all systems are built with an onion-layer setup like mine either, so just keep that in mind.

That said, since I’m built with an onion-layer setup, that means most of my system experience is based upon those older alters being shielded and walled up. When you add enough layers, we can’t dig them out again and for us that’s where most of our ‘disappearance’ comes in that we know of.  There’s another phenomenon that could cause the ‘disappearance’ effect but we’ll touch on that in a moment. In our case, we just eventually feel so distanced from who “I” was supposed to be, whoever that is. Very few of the ones who have been out in recent months are from older times. We’ve had a small handful who are from our high school years (we’re 25 now), and maybe caught a glimpse of alters older than that once or twice. We very rarely remember much of the time from that far back, and what we do remember feels incredibly detached. Almost more like we saw it in a first person pov movie rather than actually been there. We’ve gone through name changes a couple times by now, and I highly suspect that those name changes are further reflective of our archeological layers and who we decided to try to model our collective behavior around, to try to seem like one whole person. 

“Erika” was a girl who behaved one way. “Erin” was someone who behaved another way. and “Cleo” has been our current blueprint for who we’re supposed to be on the outside when being incognito. And what’s interesting is that you mentioned feeling like you had to ‘build’ yourself, because while it’s not so precise or in our control, we’ve approached it much the same way. For each name change it was like different models. out with the old model and in with the new, now introducing Cleo v2.0, with these personality patches and old bugs fixed. Around the time we changed to Erin, we had firmly decided we wanted to put our ‘old self’ behind us and improve ourselves. We had come out of toxic experiences eyes open, and we were terrified of reflecting that internalized toxicity outward. So we took ourselves to the metaphorical workshop, and spent many many years scrutinizing who ‘Erika’ was under a microscope for our faults, our flaws, what made us work that way, so that we could iron out the kinks when introducing ‘Erin’. As we took ‘Erin’ for test runs in college, we would find different flaws and faults that needed fixing, so once we’d accumulated a comprehensive list of those we took Erin in for workshopping and shortly after we dropped out of college, out came Cleo. Our entire life experience from the outside has been a long-running fixer-upper project, and for a while we were proud of ourselves to see the long strides in improvements we’d made upon “myself”, for being so quick to see our flaws and find ways to manage them. 

But what was really happening under the hood was, we weren’t actually changing as an individual, cohesive person.  We were adapting and forming new alters, or at the very least reassigning them based on who handled what better - so if we had become sick of our short temper, we swapped that alter out so that what normally caused them to respond, would instead elicit someone less volatile and slower to anger. If one of us froze up at the sight of blood, they would be swapped out of the front for someone who had no problems with it. This is why we ended up onion-layering ultimately, to lower the risk of the other alters being in front at poorly timed moments.

So tl;dr for us, a lot of our ‘Disappearance’ of our selves was us trading them out or hiding them away, and most likely encouraging a state of alter dormancy - when alters become inactive for long periods of time. (for some of us we describe it like sleeping - I think it tires us out on a physical level if one alter is active too long, it probably works certain parts of the brain more depending on the alter, but that’s all speculation.)

Backtracking a little - there is another experience that would cause a more definite and permanent ‘Disappearance’ effect. We haven’t experienced it since coming out as a system to ourselves. But we’re pretty sure we experienced it once, or twice, way back when. It’s formally known as Fusion. Fusion is what happens when two or more alters end up “physically” (for lack of a better word) merging together. They cannot separate, and they become an entirely different alter. The new alter often has some elements of their components in terms of personality traits and memories, but also isn’t a complete merging of everything. Memories and emotional attachments can often get lost in the process. This is where the other Disappearance can occur.

We know it happened to us at least once. Somewhere around middle or high school, for no apparent reason, we had developed an acute awareness and fear of Amnesia, and the identity death that would inevitably come with it. We were always scared, what if we hit our head and lost our memory? What would we remember, if anything? Would we get it back? Media always dramatizes amnesia, where amnesiac characters have some twinge, some spark, where they get drawn to things super important to them from before the memory loss. Would that happen to us? What if it didn’t? What if we never remembered the things that mattered so dearly to us? Would we even be the same person anymore?

If you compare that to the concept of fusion, it’s almost uncomfortably spot on. But we had no idea about systems or fusion back then. Which can only mean we had experienced a fusion, and somehow that caused a disturbance in the system that led to that latent fear to hang over our heads, along with the constant feelings of unreality and dreaming that followed us all through high school.

But somewhere along the line, just as suddenly as that fear developed, it just. Dissipated. It’s still a terrifying concept for us. But we no longer obsess over it like we did back then. We also suspect that’s probably related to another fusion of sorts. We have no clue who they were, or who they are now though. 

So to tie it all back in, in the comic the ‘Me/He’ disappearing would be parallel to an alter going dormant, or possibly fusing. The characters the protagonist and Tormenter are built around were originally part of a storyline of two separate identities that ended up ‘fusing’ to form a different whole, and while I can’t say the comic is faithful to the scientific or actual experience in a system, since I didn’t know about it at the time, I’m pretty sure it was based on what I had picked up on in my subconscious, so that’s the implications there, inaccurate representation though they may be.  I have heard from a few sources that fusion is often the result of a necessary function, to help protect or help an alter that can no longer function or cope the way they have been by creating a new alter that can cope better, so with this understanding, and the direction of the comic, it makes a sort of sense. 

These are my thoughts in regards to your question about ‘disappearance’ in the context of the comic based on my personal experiences, I hope it helped! Feel free to ask more or send in followup questions or statements, hopefully now that I’ve given a lot of context I won’t be quite so long-winded haha

[imaginedanganronpa]

Can you please do headcanons of Makoto, Hajime and Shuichi as masterminds with Kyoko, Chiaki and Kaede as their enemies (aka protagonists) that will find them out and put them down for good?

DR1 Mastermind Spoilers/SDR2 Traitor and Mastermind Spoilers!

Mastermind!Makoto Naegi, Hajime Hinata, and Saihara Shuichi with Protagonist!Kyoko Kirigiri, Chiaki Nanami, and Kaede Akamatsu!

Mastermind!Makoto Naegi

It was so unexpected: an ordinary person like Makoto Naegiunveiling themselves as the Mastermind – someone as plain and average as thiscausing all of the havoc and chaos that rampaged through not only Hope’s Peak,but the entire country as well.

And posing as a student with a talent such as ‘Luck’ played into his favor –being able to ‘solve’ the cases that befell them wasn’t just plain luck, afterall.

It physically pained him to act so innocent and clueless, but he was able tolaugh in their faces when everything was said and done.

Makoto had the others wrapped around his finger – his plot to paint a lie thatframed Junko Enoshima and her late sister Mukuro Ikusaba as the Masterminds was goingaccording to plan.

Makoto often surprised himself – acting as sincere as he was when discoveringSayaka’s body came naturally; he was just thankful that she didn’t discover thesecret doorway in the far corner that lead to the Mastermind’s room.

He was pissed that she invaded his privacy and, unable to review thesurveillance footage, was genuinely shocked when she turned up dead.

Hethought they’d vote him as the Blackened for sure, and having that damnedDetective, Kyoko Kirigiri, snooping around his room didn’t give him any peace of mind. If they did vote for Makoto, then the entire Killing Game would fall apart at the seams; but thankfully, he was able to steer suspicion away from him and towards the real culprit.

Over the course of the Killing Game, Makoto drove himself crazy due to herpresence. Especially considering that he needed to get on her good side, hencewhy he acted so friendly around her. Having her opposing him was dangerous, butin the end it seems as though this is what inevitably gave him away.

Kyoko was clever and she knew that a Mastermind would try to lure her ontotheir side, so Makoto budging his way into her Investigations set off her alarms; shedid nothing that may alert him in return, though. And admittedly, he had her fooled for awhile, but she’s not called the Ultimate Detective for nothing.

Kyoko kept the others at a distance long enough to pinpoint who the Mastermind was. Trying to blame it all on the deceased Junko Enoshima was clever, but she saw through him like glass. She waited until the Final Trial to finally reveal his secret, though, as to not put her own life in danger; it was the safest possibility and waiting that long only caused Kyoko to grow more certain of her suspicions.

She watched Makoto pull on the other’s strings, guiding them towards voting for a dead girl. Suddenly, she scoffed under her breath which caught the attention of the other survivors.

“I’ll admit: I, too, believed this lie for a little while, but the Mastermind is careless and clumsy,” Kyoko begins coldly. Byakuya piped up and became immediately defensive, “And what exactly are you saying?”

“I’m saying,” she breathes in deeply, “that the real Mastermind is trying to trick you all, and the real Mastermind is non-other than your precious Makoto Naegi!” Her voice was as sharp as a blade.

Makoto is absolutely floored - how did she possibly figure him out? His face started twitching at the accusations and suddenly, the air felt heavier on his shoulders.

He knew that Kyoko would be an issue and regretted not taking her out sooner. Although he did his best to laugh it off, her reasoning was far too superior and she seemed to read his mind, counteracting his thoughts before he ever vocalized them.

And she knew exactly what she had to do - finally put an end to this Killing Game and survive along with the others, once and for all. The average, plain, ‘boring’ boy that Makoto tried playing himself up to be quickly unraveled as he let out a long, chilling laugh. 

His own sanity begin to deteriorate before their very eyes. Kyoko smiled smugly at herself, proudly letting her confidence skyrocket as she watched the true Mastermind fall apart in front of them. 

It’s funny, he designed this Killing Game but snapped the moment someone accuses him. Perhaps, Makoto didn’t deserve the title as Mastermind after all, or perhaps Kyoko was just that good at what she did.

Mastermind!Hajime Hinata

His amnesia played into his favor; of course, he didn’t actually have amnesia, but Hajime isn’t going to be quick to admit that!

If they knew his affiliation with Junko Enoshima and the Kamukura Project, he would undoubtedly gain some suspicion, so Hajime made sure to keep that under a tight lock and key. After all, he was only the Mastermind of this Killing Game to feel the Despair that Junko feels.

Truthfully, Hajime was the original feared Mastermind of this Killing Game due to his amnesia; but surely a Mastermind would know if they were, right? 

No one suspected the boy who couldn’t seem to remember his own ‘talent’ or lack thereof. 

The others did suspect him briefly due to his faked-memory loss, but soon disregarded the possibility.

Chiaki Nanami was intelligent, though. She always kept that possibility in the back of her mind, putting blind faith into Hajime since she couldn’t just throw accusations around without a purpose.

Hajime was convinced that he had nothing to worry about and he was able to lead the others into believing that the ‘World Enders’ were the true culprit behind this Killing Game. That way, they would turn against the Future Foundations once they did escape from the island.

And he soon gained the other Ultimates’ trust when he took over the leadership role and effortlessly solved each Case. That was only because he saw the surveillance footage of each murder, though, and was able to play off his ability to solve the Cases as him working with the others.

He didn’t expect to have any trouble during his Killing Game, and if he did, he could easily bring out Izuru Kamukura to slaughter whoever stood in his way. 

Plus, Hajime had a Traitor lurking among the others who only worked in his favor.

Chiaki didn’t want to be a Traitor, though; she didn’t want to fall into the Mastermind’s plans any longer.

She found herself backed into a precarious position, since the Mastermind knew who she was but she didn’t know who they were. Chiaki felt indebted to the Mastermind, but soon realized that her life on this island was meaningless, anyway. Her programming is the only thing that strictly binds her to them.

In a way, the A.I. Chiaki developed a sense of humanity and started acting on her own impulses, like a real girl. 

That’s when she finally realized how close Hajime got to her. He kept her as a close ally, since the two people who were the most trusted and helpful wouldn’t possibly be the ones working against the others, right?

But Chiaki could see through Hajime’s identity. She had an epiphany and realized that he was the Mastermind running this Killing Game, and a hatred started burning inside of her. 

How dare he play her as a fool, befriend her and get close to her, only to be the one who put them in this situation?! She thought they were friends!

After Chiaki came to this unbearable truth, she grits her teeth and promises to reveal his identity to the others. She would bring Hajime to justice and finally put him down for good, breaking away from her chains as the Traitor and revolting against the Mastermind’s evil ploys.

She grins to herself - Hajime thought he was smooth, but she had a secret of her own, one that he wouldn’t see coming.

And she vowed to repay her friends, both surviving and deceased, for the trouble that she has caused. She would make them open their eyes and see the truth no matter what, as if her life depended on it.

Mastermind!Saihara Shuichi

Saihara felt himself slipping further into Despair as he initiated the Killing Game. How fulfilling would it be for a group of elite students to take part in a ruthless Game of death?

No one would ever suspect the Ultimate Detective to be the Mastermind behind the whole Killing Game! Especially since he was able to use his talent to play the other participants into his the palm of his hand. His status as a Detective caused him to automatically be trusted and more easily able to deceive the Ultimates.

And as a Detective, Saihara was able to seamlessly manipulate the crime scenes and play them off effortlessly, so he used this to cover his tracks as he ‘solved’ each Case. Of course, he knew who the Blackened was from the start of each Case so anyone stupid enough to commit a murder in this Killing Game was signing off their death wish.

His timid personality also gave Saihara an edge - because, surely, a Mastermind wouldn’t be so meek and shy, right? It had to be someone more boisterous, unstable, and confident, like Ouma Kokichi… right?

But Saihara overestimated the other students and never intended for this Game to be so difficult or for anyone to drive him this crazy, especially not that putrid blonde Pianist.

He mistook Kaede for being a typical dumb blonde who would likely get killed off at the start, but she proved to be a difficult opponent who got tangled up in his plans.

As a Mastermind, Saihara was supposed to be merciless and intelligent, so how was this one, single girl standing in the way of all of his plans?

Saihara didn’t know where each of the students would wake up at the start of the Killing Game, so meeting Kaede in the beginning was just mere chance. However, she formed an attachment to him and quickly seemed to tail him wherever he went.

They soon formed an ‘alliance,’ or, at least, that’s what she thought it was. He definitely didn’t expect her to take up the bossy leadership role, and suddenly realized how dangerous this situation was.

Kaede grew close with Saihara because she did originally believe she could trust him and thought that his Detective talent would come in handy, and he did have her fooled at first. However, she seemed to catch onto his identity quicker than the others.

After spending so much time together, it’s no surprise that she eventually found him out. Kaede saw the way Saihara would watch the Executions and a twisted smile would form on his lips, and the way that he was able to uncover evidence that hadn’t even come to light yet or connect dots that no one else saw.

At first, she assumed that that was simply his talent. But it was too suspicious and fishy, and happened far too often to be simple coincidence. Kaede could tell that he knew more than he was letting on…

Although, it broke her heart to accuse Saihara in the end, it’s just what she had to do. She knew that the others wouldn’t believe her and that the odds were stacking against her favor, but she was cunning and seemed to be the only one who realized the truth.

And, of course, no one believed Kaede at first. Everyone took Saihara’s side over hers since he had been much more helpful. “Why would the Mastermind spell out all of the crimes for us? They want to kill us all, not help us!” Kaito Momota exclaims angrily.

“Yeah, Kaede, I thought I was your friend. How could you think I’m the Mastermind?” Something about the way Saihara said this sent chills down Kaede’s spine and gave her a bad, sinking feeling.

“That’s exactly what he wants you to think!” She desperately argues. Saihara was surprised that someone, especially her, would have the guts to actually point fingers at him, and he had to give her props for that.

Kaede was growing angry and knew that she had to convince the others that Saihara was playing them like chess-pieces. She promised to get her friends out of here alive, and if accusing the person she had grown the closest to would accomplish that, then she had to do it.

She just had to find the Mastermind and put a stop to this for good.

- Mod Rantaro

[lj-writes]

@birdcagesanddemons replied to your post “two-dollars: I don’t want Rey to be Luke’s daughter so that Luke can...”

Just wondering: how would rey solo work?

I’ve been wanting for a while to write about my Rey Solo theorizing, and this is as good an opening as any.

The thing that got me to start believing in Rey Solo was this Movie Pilot piece arguing that a “profound tragedy” referenced in the Visual Dictionary that shook the Organa-Solo family was the loss of a younger Solo child, that is, Rey. I won’t go into everything the essay did, but it certainly does explain some things such as why Leia sent Ben away and why she and Han were leading separate lives, though still amicable and in love, years before Ben’s fall.

Another reason I like Rey Solo is because it makes for such a good story. @brehaasolos has pointed out the many ways this one plot point would solve story problems and improve the story, including sympathetic motivation for Kylo Ren and a close relationship between a protagonist and the main villain. Other parentage theories such as Rey Skywalker, Rey Kenobi, Rey Random, and Rey Palpatine(??) all have their merits but none makes for as satisfying a story in my opinion. That’s my basic approach to speculating about ongoing stories, to focus on not only in-show clues but what would make a satisfying story.

Below the cut are more details of how Rey Solo works for me:

This theory obviously can’t work with Han or Leia abandoning Rey on Jakku. That would completely undermine who they are as people. The Movie Pilot essay I linked above similarly speculates that Rey was taken, not abandoned, and I agree. To add a few more pieces of speculation, I think Snoke was behind it. He tried to get his hands on Leia’s child, powerful in the Force, but failed. (More on that below.) Ever the resourceful villain, however, he made lemonade out of lemons by using the grief from that loss to turn Ben.

I also think Snoke, during the time he had Rey in his power, did something to her mind that resulted in her amnesia. She had no memories by the time she ended up on Jakku, which is unusual even considering the spottiness of childhood memories. Since Snoke was interested in her as a potential minion he might have done something to jump-start her Force abilities, hence her ability to use the Force later in life without training. She had been trained, just not in conscious memory, but the experience had damaged her mind and left her traumatized.

In my theory, as also implied in the Movie Pilot piece, Rey was not just gone but thought dead. The people Rey pleaded to come back in her flashback? Not Han or Leia. as discussed above. I think they were pilots, likely former Rebels, who managed to rescue her but came close to being caught. Desperate, they left her on Jakku and tried to draw the pursuers away from her, and were shot down before they could communicate to allies that the child was alive.

Their sacrifice serves several story purposes: The little girl was thought to have been with them and no one knew she was alive and on Jakku. This would explain why the Organa-Solo family were grieving instead of combing the galaxy for her. It also explains Maz’s statement that the people Rey are waiting for are not coming back, by the simple expedient of being dead. It would give a deeper emotional meaning to Rey’s fascination with Resistance pilots (the pilot doll in her home, the helmet she likes to wear): It was former Rebellion pilots she was waiting for without consciously realizing it, whom she had bonded with as family in the midst of her traumatic amnesia. The Rebellion and Resistance, aside from the former being the direct precursor of the latter, also have the same pilot uniform design and insignia. It would be easy to see why her positive emotions for the Rebellion would transfer to the new Resistance.

Another piece of the puzzle is the Millennium Falcon. It looks like a huge coincidence that the Falcon just happens to be there for a new generation of heroes, and would be an intolerably pat plot convenience if it just happened to be there with Han’s lost daughter. What if it‘s neither? What if it was there within sight of Rey, through all those years, for a good reason?

So here’s my headcanon in full, putting these pieces together: Little Breha Solo, Han and Leia’s daughter, is kidnapped while on the Millennium Falcon by Snoke’s minions (possibly Ducain, referenced as the original thief, was in league with Snoke). While in Snoke’s hands her powers are forcibly and prematurely awakened but the process also damages her mind, causing amnesia.

The Solo family and their allies, frantically searching for her, track down several leads at once. A force that includes Republic pilots, formerly of the Rebellion, find the Millennium Falcon and the child. They make a daring rescue, stealing the Falcon and flying Breha out on it, and the two ships--the ship the rescue force came in on and the Falcon--fly out under heavy pursuit.

Snoke is now determined to kill the entire escape party. Breha might still be able to identify him if the damage to her mind is repaired, and he has no intention of being revealed this soon. Besides, he can still use her death to help turn Ben to the Dark Side.

The pilots manage to get out a transmission that they have Breha, and help is on the way when their ships take damage and it is only a matter of time before they are caught. They land at Jakku and cut a deal with a local crime lord to take custody of Breha while her family comes for her, with the promise of a big payday. Leaving the more heavily damaged Falcon behind with Breha while she shouts at them to come back, they take flight again to distract Snoke’s forces. They make a hurried jump to get far away from Jakku, and are followed and shot down before they can broadcast that they have left Breha behind. Snoke, presuming he has destroyed all evidence, is satisfied.

The tragedy shatters the Organa-Solo family. Leia sends Ben away in her grief, burying herself in work, while Han leaves to get some time to himself. Ben blames his parents, especially Han, for both the loss of his little sister and for abandoning him when he needed them most. This, as Snoke foresaw, becomes a perfect vulnerability to exploit.

Breha, her name lost except for the nickname her rescuers called her during the short time they were with her, settles in to wait. Her young mind, fresh from Dark Force-inflicted wounds, can’t hold on to the conscious memory of who she was waiting for, but she does find that imagery and objects from the Rebellion and later the Resistance, especially those of pilots, help her feel safe and protected. She makes a Rebellion/Resistance pilot doll (I mean, look at how crude that thing is. It wasn’t the work of a grown or even teenaged Rey, she made it as a child), pores over information about starships and piloting, and finds comfort in wearing an old abandoned Rebel helmet.

The Organa-Solo family’s breakup is complete when a second tragedy--Ben’s fall to the Dark Side--tears them apart yet again. It is, in many ways, a direct result of the first. Ben has come to believe that it was the disorder that the New Republic was unable to control that resulted in his sister’s kidnapping and death, and under Snoke’s influence comes to revile everything his parents stood for. The Republic is an irredeemable failure; the universe must be brought to order under a strong leader no matter what the cost. If his soul is part of the cost, so be it.

Meanwhile Han, adrift and in despair, does one of the only things he can think of: Finding the Millennium Falcon. It may look like incredible vanity to fixate on this in the face of all his family has been through, and maybe it is, but it never sat right with him that they didn’t find the Falcon. He searches for it out of a desire for closure if nothing else, running up debt and jumping into increasingly foolhardy ventures to finance his hopeless search. He doesn’t care, this drifting life is what he knows and it feels comfortable. He knows it’s a fool’s mission and probably no more than a distraction from his grief, but if there is the tiniest chance that Breha lived, maybe, just maybe...

And one day, out on one of his riskiest ventures yet, he catches the Falcon’s signal in space. On the Falcon he finds a young man and a young woman. He finds himself drawn to the girl for reasons he can’t name, but something about her seems so familiar...

Han dies without realizing that the Falcon was, indeed, the key to finding his daughter, and that he had been reunited with her before the end. He never knew it consciously at any rate, but whenever he talked to Rey his heart felt just a little more whole.

Also imagine what this would do to Rey? Her hated enemy is her brother, who did all those terrible things out of losing her. He killed her father before her eyes, a loss she screamed and wept over long before she learned the truth. Her overriding desire all her life has been to have a family, but a member of her family did this unspeakable thing. Yet he did so out of love and grief for his sister.

The conflicting pull of pity, love, and hatred would tear her apart. She was already tempted to the Dark Side out of hatred for Kylo Ren; the impossible dilemma of their relationship could push her over the edge.

No other family origin story comes close to introducing this kind of conflict and emotional payoff. The only one that comes anywhere near it is Rey Skywalker, and even a cousin enemy dynamic is only a pale reflection of what a sibling enemy dynamic would be.

And with apologies to Rey Skywalker theorists, I believe Rey Skywalker is a giant red herring to distract us from Rey Solo. Yes, the relationship between Rey and Luke is crucial; he is her uncle and will be her teacher. It’s also true that Rey can’t go back to her original family in many ways. One of them is dead at another’s hands, and there are too many lost years between her and Leia. Luke is her new family, as she foresaw.

But he is not her biological father. There’s just no way Daisy Ridley, she who is bound by the NDA, would be screaming “Rey Skywalker!” from the rooftops if this were the actual reveal. It’s close enough that it’s plausible and distracts from the possibility of Rey Solo. Of course Luke would be the one to give Rey away at her wedding, because her father is dead and Luke, in addition to being a near male relative who is not a murderer, will also be a father figure for her.

That became really frickin’ long, but like I said this has been percolating in my head for a while so I might as well have a master post type thing lying around. It’s also fun to put this out there ahead of time so that I have a record of my prediction, whether right or wrong.

[fighterxaos]

We have finally reached the midway point for Ultraman Geed! That means the series is almost over, and even then, we still are not sure what it is all leading to. However, with Episode 12, it tries to clear up the mystery of what the series’ endgame might be. In addition, the episode makes our bland protagonist a badass, finally! Furthermore, Minori Terada (Ryubee Sonozaki from Kamen Rider W) makes an awesome guest appearance in this episode…

  Summary:

A flashback of Riku being left at the observatory occurs, as Pedanium Zetton continues it assault. Laiha and Pega question where Ultraman Zero is, but REM explains he left Earth. Meanwhile, Zero has entered the dimension Belial hides in. However, Kei/ Pedanium Zetton is having drawbacks from the Ultra Capsules, and it causes his body to temporarily fail. With Kei recovering Riku takes the time to go search out the person who left him the letter. The person to leave him the letter is Sui Asakura, who sought Riku out because of their history and the revelation that he has a Little Star; this Little Star causes Sui to see anything he wished to see! Now, the reason Sui sought out Riku was because he had to help Riku recover his fighting spirit, and because he is dying.

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Soon Sui explains the history on how they know each other, as Sui was an administrator once, and his duty was assist in naming and finding orphans homes. Originally, Sui and his wife meant to adopt Riku, but were unable to. Midway into the explanation, Kei recovers and continues his attack. Sui then has Riku assist in helping him escape from Kei’s wrath. During their attempt to flee, Sui explains to Riku about Belial’s whereabouts and how Zero is attempting to find him currently; where currently Zero fights to escape a trap set for him. Kei closes in on Sui, and Sui tries to convince Riku to leave him since his time is nearly up. However, Riku refuses to let Sui die whether he can or cannot transform into Ultraman Geed. Yet, this causes the Little Star to materialize into the Father of Ultra Capsule, which Riku then fuses with the Zero Capsule to become Utraman Geed Magnificent!

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Ultraman Geed’s return shocks both Kei and Laiha, as he sets forth to stop Pedanium Zetton. The Magnificent form is very powerful easily overpowering Pedanium Zetton. This resiliency from Riku frustrates Kei, as he attempts to destroy his creation. A war of words breaks out during the battle, where Riku explains what it means to live and why Kei will ultimately fail. Eventually Riku finally defeats Pedanium Zetton, while Zero escapes and closes the entrance to Belial’s dimension. That night, Riku and friends, search the city to recover the missing Ultra Capsules. In addition, Riku chooses to continue to visit Sui and to make every moment with him matter. Whereas, Kei has managed to survive and Belial tells Kei he has earned valuable time to rest…

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  My Thoughts:

Ultraman Geed episode 12 is impressive and is the only continuation in the series to nearly equal its predecessor. Now, while being almost as great as Episode 11, Episode 12 “My Name” does have a few faults. The first of these faults come in the form of the time-span in which the events within this episode occur; some estimate a majority of the episode’s story took three to four hours with six hours being a stretch. Riku leaving to visit Sui in the middle of Kei’s attack as Pedanium Zetton added to the slightly odd pacing. The excuses to explain even why Riku chose to see Sui were conveniently timed too, since he could not transform and Kei was incapacitated. Then Riku’s meeting with Sui was a little eerie only because the location was still in the city. However, I forgave the location of Sui’s house since he reveals he is dying and knew Riku is an airhead. Since as soon as Riku comes in the house, Riku immediately is mesmerized by the PS4! Yet, the PS4 would be revealed to be a part of Sui’s plan to help Riku regain his composure.

  Now, it was Sui Asakura that made a lot of my issues with the pacing and convenience of events nearly go away. Sui is written shows a man who missed the luxury of have a normal family life, and sought to make closure with that part in his life. Being the host of the Little Star that gave Sui infinite sight, and it allows him to get that resolve. In addition, Sui realizes he had to do something for the “son” he wished he had kept. This alone made Sui an outstanding father figure and once Riku got to know him Riku understands this man is his friend/ family. Also, it helps that Sui Asakura is portrayed by Minori Terada, who has play two interesting dads in previous tokusatsu productions. Furthermore, I found the progression in how Riku makes the realization that Sui is the closest thing to an actual father wonderful; even if Riku never actually called Sui, dad or father. I saw the progression start out as Riku merely seeking answers only to befriend Sui. However, that friendship would strengthen further when Sui selflessly told Riku to leave him behind, and the world need Riku more!

  That moment lead to Riku ultimately beginning to sprout into a dynamic character, as he sought to save Sui. That then resonated with the Little Star/ Ultra Capsule, and it allowed Riku to become Ultraman Geed once more. During the battle with Kei/ Pedanium Zetton, the quotes Riku spouted off were typical for Ultras to say, but coming from him made the quotes stand out. Hearing the quotes made me remember back to episode 6 when Reito explained Riku need to discover the motive as to why he fights. Yet, as for the on-screen confrontation between the two, it was splendid, and used some unique effects. I personally enjoyed the various transitions between Ultraman Geed vs. Pedanium Zetton to the internal conflict of Riku and Kei. Having Riku and Kei squaring off with one another in the actual fight was very spiritual, as well as added to the intensity. However, I thought the battle could have used more alternative shoots like the ones seen in the previous episode, for example, when the two circled about as their attacks clashed.

  Never the less, I really enjoyed Ultraman Geed Episode 12 “My Name.” The episode captures several of the best attributes the Ultra series can offer such as stories about sacrifice, family, and heroics. In addition, the final scene with Ultraman Belial is simply chilling, because of how he deceives Kei; it further the set-up for Belial’s coming betrayal perfectly! Also, I hope this is not the last time we see Sui Asakura in the series, excluding flashbacks; it is not because Sui is portrayed by Minori Terada, but how the character adds to Riku’s better understanding of humanity, and family. Now, the next episode is a clip-show, but it seems that it will be better handled than how Ultraman Orb’s clip-show turned out. That is due to the plot focusing on a weird amnesia storyline with REM sustaining memory loss…

  Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Ultraman Geed Episode 12 – My Name Review

We have finally reached the midway point for Ultraman Geed! That means the series is almost over, and even then, we still are not sure what it is all leading to.

Ultraman Geed Episode 12 – My Name Review We have finally reached the midway point for Ultraman Geed! That means the series is almost over, and even then, we still are not sure what it is all leading to.

[mythos2]

Whoo, boy.  This one’s gonna be a doozy.

If nothing else, I will say SukaSuka has been a ride, though not for all the right reasons. First and foremost, let me state that this show continues to impress me because when it hits, it hits solidly.  I revel in the genuine and beautiful moments that this show has to offer and I love when this anime goes out of its way to cleverly layer exposition in very natural conversation.  For what faults we’ve seen up to now, this show has just as many great ideas and scenes.  However, the issue is that this show is not just its high moments, and that becomes the unexpected downfall that I’ve found while watching this episode.

You don’t know the half of it, Willem.

Like Tofu said previously, I had hopes that past halfway, this show would start to pick up and really push hard on those good points it wants to us to remember.  To an extent, it definitely does.  We come out of the gate swinging in this episode with very interesting threads and plot points.  We first see Chtholly start to suffer from unexpected memory loss as her condition begins worsening, something that appears to be the first of many terrible symptoms to come outside of a few bad day dreams and some red hair.  With this, we find ourselves on a time limit for this show.  While the clock had always seemed present, especially since this story is told as a flashback from the first scene, we finally seem to be hitting around ten or eleven to midnight on this doomsday clock.  This becomes more obvious as we see the ship that was attacked in the first episode rear its head as we’re told that in fifteen days, our main characters will be on it.

Luckily for our main cast, a new dug weapon is found, which may help save Chtholly, and just as coincidentally, it’s found in the ruins of Willem’s home town.  It seems a little too convenient, but these threads will at least hopefully lead us to some interesting plot points later down the road. With the emergence of a possible cure, our cast has a hope of helping Chtholly where once there was nothing.  We have a goal and a time limit.  It’ll be interesting to see how this comes down, then.

However, before we get to that, Willem walks with Chtholly through the streets, a tinge of worry touching the scene as Chtholly had forgotten their first meeting, indicating her condition.  They shop and having another fun time around town as our two characters get time alone with each other, a callback to the city scene in the first episode, which is made more apparent with an upbeat and cutesy version of the beautiful song from that previous scene.

I feel like I’ve seen that shop keep before.  Hmmm…

Each of these moments so far in this episode show what I’ve liked about this anime.  The show loves to build to future endeavors and starts laying interesting groundwork early. We now see Willem forced to the surface to deal with his past as well as work towards both his and Chtholly’s future.  We see even greater foreshadowing to the climactic battle to come.  However, the anime never stops giving us these sweet and endearing scenes of our characters living their lives in this fantastic world.  On top of this, the exposition comes off naturally when Chtholly and Willem stop for a break on a bench, showing a clever use of dialogue that I appreciate.

And let’s not forget that wonderful scene where Chtholly calls Willem out for thinking she’s weaker and demands that she go with him to the surface, even stepping over him to make sure it happens.  It was a powerful scene considering it’s the first time she’s ever said no to him, a turning point in her own ability to take charge in her life, followed up by putting the screws on Willem to further their relationship with her very obvious want to be called his lover or wife.

All of those moments make this first half one of the stronger ones in the series.  The basis for all the plot points of future episodes has begun and we even get endearing and sweet moments along with way, all while making us worry for the future as Chtholly has begun to lose herself.  This is what this show is supposed to be and it hits all the bases before wrapping up with a pretty sunset as our two main characters make their way home.

So color me surprised when in a matter minutes, it all comes crashing down.

I think I saw this pickup line in a doujin once… Didn’t work well there, either.

First off, this is not the first time I’ve felt uncomfortable about a scene that involves Ren and Willem.  Ren very clearly wants to be treated like a child (like episode five, where in a very serious meeting, she sits on his lap the entire time), but given her actual age, especially in comparison to Willem, it just strikes me as not okay.  Increase this by a factor when we have a “joke” that Ren has been sleeping on top of Willem.  The show does it’s best to play it off with the typical light novel card of “we acknowledged it, so that means it’s okay, right?” before adding an even further creep factor on by Ren fully admitting she is okay being treated like a pet, rather than a child or even a human being, though, that term is a bit of a misnomer here.

If it was just that, we wouldn’t be any different from other episodes of this show (as much as it pains me to say).  Accidentally falling into light novel tropes seems to be an unfortunate fate of this anime.  In fact, we even follow this up with a moment of Willem admitting he has feelings for Chtholly, but for no explainable reason, says he can’t act upon them.  This makes no sense given that there’s technically only a two-year gap in age. Both people like each other, Chtholly has admitted several times to his face that she loves him, and they’re already dealing with a time limit, so best to at least be honest. However, he can’t because… reasons I’m sure are very important to him, but are never communicated to us.

Hey, while you’re down there, you mind looking for your logic?  Seems to have gotten lost somewhere.

And once again, if it were just that, I could wrap up this post feeling a bit disappointed, but overall still enjoy the better moments of the episode.  However, this is then followed up by the most asinine five minutes of this show to date.

A love misunderstanding.

We begin with the “angry girl who has feelings for protagonist going rightfully off on him”.  Then, we follow this up with the real clincher that grinds the show to a halt: Willem turns her down.  She asks the hypothetical if she were to sleep with him instead of Ren, what would he do?  He answers that he would push her away.  This begins the next several minutes of our protagonist confused as to why some girl is upset with him now.

We’re not dealing with a dumb protagonist.  Time and again, Willem has shown that he’s intelligent, to the point of pulling some bullshit fingers guns not a few episodes ago.  He is clearly supposed to be smart and exercises this around his grand wizard friend, as well as to show up Chtholly in her fighting.  And yet, he suddenly becomes confused as to why something he said upset the girl who loves him.

So what does he do?  He decides to ask Nygglatho.  She explains it’s because Chtholly loves him, an already known fact.  His response?

I’m sorry, Willem, you didn’t know that she loved you?  You mean to say, the multiple times this girl has flatly said she loves you just… never happened?  Or is it that you just don’t believe it could ever work out?  This man has worse amnesia than what Chtholly is suffering from.  The amount of times that both of these characters have clearly shown their emotions to each other apparently just… didn’t matter.  He even plays it off, pulling his typical card of “I’m an adult and too old.”

This scene left me incredulous. This is just stupid writing.  Owningmatt mentioned this before in his article. The main character constantly changes personality and intelligence. He’ll be a wise father figure, then he’ll be an ass who thinks he’s better than other people. He’ll be lovey-dovey with Chtholly, then he’ll reject her and stupidly not know why something is occurring.

To me, this is just poor writing.

It seems like the writer isn’t sure who their main character should be, or they’re just not sure where the main character will go, so they fall back on the overused and idiotic tropes that are seen in all light novels, and we’ve finally reached the bottom of the barrel when we start writing the smart protagonist as the thick-headed one.

Why?  This anime has so much going for it, so why fall back on trite methods?  The writer clearly knows how to tell compelling stories and has shown earlier in the episode that they can do great interactions and compelling dialogue.  So why make an entire scene about how the protagonist doesn’t get women, especially immediately following a scene in which he directly comments that he understands this particular woman and also has feelings for her?  It’s idiotic.

Every time that I think this show will get better, it does.  It honestly shows just how compelling it can be.  But then it destroys that progress in the very same episode.  At times, it feels like they have two different directors working on the each episode, constantly failing to mesh with each other.  The first half was one of my favorite episodes so far.  However, this second half has quickly dashed that to the side.  Nothing is happening in the plot or character development because we’ve stopped everything to have this subplot where the main character forgets literally every scene he’s been with Chtholly and how she’s confessed to him.  And there are several confessions in this show. And since he’s apparently too stupid to remember this, the show grinds to a halt just to help him do so.  Meanwhile, no meaningful character interaction happens, no progress is made on the world or the plot, and we get zero new information.

You and me both, buddy.

That’s the hardest part about this.  What started as incredible suddenly turned unoriginal and filler, which unfortunately ruined the following scenes of falling stars, hand holding, and dramatic cliffhangers for the next episode.  Every step forward feels like such a sublime breath of wonderful fantasy in a beautiful world filled with interesting characters, endearing romance, and dramatic plot elements.  However, every step back feels like someone punches that breath right back out of me, leaving me clutching my stomach, gasping for more air. SukaSuka Episode 8 – A Gut Punch To Make Me Miss The Air Whoo, boy.  This one’s gonna be a doozy. If nothing else, I will say SukaSuka has been a ride, though not for all the right reasons.

[meiklemons-blog]

Assignment #2, Part 2

1. Write a brief summary of the main plot, describing the event or events that are the focus of the film and stating where and when they take place. 

All of the notices about the movie have told us that the story is told in reverse order. Leonard, played by Guy Pearce, kills the murderer of his wife in the film's first scene, and that the film then moves backward from that point, in roughly five-minute increments, to let us see how he tracked the guy down, ending with what is, chronologically, the story's beginning. He has witnessed the violent death of his wife and is determined to avenge it. But he has had short-term memory loss ever since the death and has to make copious notes--he even has memos tattooed to his body as reminders.

2. Name and describe the protagonist and the antagonist in this story.

Who is the true antagonist in Memento?

Is it John G or “Teddy”, who "killed" Leonard’s wife?

The first and most obvious choice for our antagonist is Teddy, the dude who's using Leonard to make some green and leaving casualties on the way. He's constantly trying to get at Leonard's car so he can cash in on the two hundred grand stashed in the trunk. He lies to Leonard about almost everything. But Teddy also has moments of honesty. He warns Leonard against Natalie and tries to persuade Leonard to investigate himself and question where he got the suit and the car. He consoles Leonard about being alive, and maybe he even tells Leonard the truth at one point about who he really is. So maybe he isn't completely a bad guy.

Is it Natalie, who manipulated Leonard into kidnapping Dodd?

Natalie is next on our list for obvious reasons. Teddy might be manipulative, but at least he's nice about it. But Natalie's manipulation is right in Leonard's face. She enrages him by mocking his dead wife in some pretty sleazy ways, and then gives him what is perhaps the evilest smiles as she prepares to use his violent nature against him. However, Natalie may actually like Leonard, or at least pity him. There doesn't seem to be a selfish motive for her running the license plate number and giving him info on John Gamel. Her desire to be remembered by him also seems sincere. So maybe she's not the antagonist either.

Or is it Leonard himself, who chose to ignore the facts (Even after going on about how facts are very important) and continue searching for John G, even after he was dead.

It is Anterograde Amnesia which Leonard is constantly battling and creates the scenario and drives the plot. It is the thing that shapes our protagonist, just like every good villain shapes their hero. Anterograde amnesia is at the center of all conflict in Memento. Both Natalie's and Teddy's manipulation is a result of—and accomplished because of— Leonard's condition. Antagonist is the force of nature against the protagonist. Sometimes, the protagonist and antagonist are the same character, depending on whose point of view you're watching the movie as.

3. In the story told by the film, what is the main conflict and how is it resolved?

Leonard Shelby, a former insurance investigator, suffers from anterograde amnesia, short term memory loss in which he cannot make new memories, after he was injured while trying to stop two men from raping and killing his wife in their home. After he awakes to find one of the intruders, he later confirms his name is John G., got away he vows to find that man and get revenge for his wife’s death. This pursuit of revenge and justice is extremely difficult for Leonard who has to use aids such as Polaroids, notes, and extensive tattoos to help him keep track of things because he loses his memory about every fifteen minutes. These tools remind him of where he is, where he is going, and the purpose of his investigation. Leonard interacts mainly with two other interesting characters in the film: Teddy, an unjust cop who pretends to be Leonard’s friend while gaining money on the side and Natalie, a barmaid, who is seeking her own revenge for the death of her boyfriend.

4. Identify and describe two literary elements or devices that are evident in the movie other than conflict, antagonist, protagonist and imagery. Other literary elements or devices may include: prologue, expository phase, voice, symbol, foreshadowing, flashback, irony, foil, opposition, archetype, motif, characterization, climax, and denouement. For each literary device that you identify, describe the role that it plays in presenting the story told by the film.

The use of Polaroid photographs and multiple plot lines in Memento function as a representation of Leonard’s character. The story itself follows two different plot lines: one that is presented in color (the main plot line), and another that is presented in monochrome (sub-plot line). The main plot follows a sequence that is non-linear and actually loops the story by starting where it ends and vice-versa, which is the plot sequence of the entire film in itself. The subplot follows a chronological sequence, contrasting with the main plot. By having two different plots, Memento not only succeeds in resembling Leonard’s character, but also reinforces the importance of the relationship between the Polaroid photographs and the narration sequence. The film reveals to us how and when Leonard took specific photos. In essence, the photographs are an evidence of a time that once existed but is now forever gone. But, due to Leonard’s disability, they will always be new and true every fifteen minutes (approximate time of how long it takes for Leonard to lose his new memories). So, in a way, they are timeless to him; there is no difference between the past and present, which we see twice when he questions how long it has been since he was in the hotel and since he’s been looking for John. G. The plot sequence is also supporting evidence of the past versus present idea.

Leonard’s voice which serves as a first-person narrator and also an unreliable narrator, whose credibility is seriously compromised, is another literary device served in  Memento. Sometimes the narrator's unreliability is made immediately evident. For instance, a story may open with the narrator making a plainly false or delusional claim or admitting to being severely mentally ill, or the story itself may have a frame in which the narrator appears as a character, with clues to the character's unreliability. A more dramatic use of the device delays the revelation until near the story's end. In some cases, the reader discovers that in the foregoing narrative, the narrator had concealed or greatly misrepresented vital pieces of information. Such a twist ending forces readers to reconsider their point of view and experience of the story. In some cases the narrator's unreliability is never fully revealed but only hinted at, leaving readers to wonder how much the narrator should be trusted and how the story should be interpreted.

5. Music and lighting are part of the way that the moviemakers communicate their message. Go deeper than that. Give two specific examples of how other elements of the cinematic art, such as shot framing, camera angles, camera movement, color, editing choice, or length of take were used by the filmmakers to get their point across. (2 paragraphs)

Christopher Nolan alternates the usage of black-and-white and color to fulfill a narrative strategy and the passage of time. The black-and-white scenes, which run in forward order, find Leonard in his hotel room talking on the phone. In these sequences, Leonard tells that parallel tale, illustrated for us with visual "flashbacks." As an insurance investigator, Leonard had a curious case: a man, Sammy Jankis, who had an accident and wound up with anterograde amnesia. Leonard investigates and ruthlessly denies the man's medical claim on the grounds that it was a mental problem and not a physical one. With the black-and-white scenes in chronological order, Nolan alternates that with much more kinetic and confusing main backward story line, which is told in color.

In addition, Nolan uses Leonard's voice-over as a simulation of his thinking, not speaking. The use of interior monologue places the audience in Leonard's head. We learn what he is thinking and feeling as he looks around the motel room. We enter into his experience of disorientation because his thinking expresses his confusion. The artistic challenge was to figure out other means of telling Leonard's story within the confines of the motel room. Interior monologue in film can only be used in very limited doses because the device is inherently static. The focus of interior monologue scenes is on the words, not the visuals. The image is subordinated to the verbal. The challenge is always how to make the visuals engaging in an interior monologue scene without distracting the audience from understanding what the voice-over is conveying.

6. Describe a lesson from this film that viewers can apply to their own lives: (1) to help them decide on a position to support on a public issue or (2) in their relations with family and friends. Detail the events that relate to this lesson. (1 to 3 paragraphs)

Natalie: “But even if you get revenge, you’re not gonna remember it. You’re not even gonna know that it happened.”

Leonard: “My wife deserves vengeance. Doesn’t make any difference whether I know about it. Just because there are things I don’t remember doesn’t make my actions meaningless. The world doesn’t just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?”

Leonard’s words ring true to my being that we shouldn’t live in ignorance. In the possibility of unperceived existence, can something exist without being perceived? If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I choose to live my day by educating myself on other existences and events around me, by listening to the news or reading articles, by just simply being aware. You don’t hear the screams of people trapped under rubble in Mexico because of two high magnitude earthquakes that we didn’t feel it or affect our lives here in Southern California. You don’t see the pigs’ heads bashed by metal bats to render them unconscious for their meat or cows’ throats be slashed with buckets sitting underneath waiting to be filled with blood. In David Foster Wallace’s essay “Consider the Lobster,” he illustrates the lobsters' consciousness and invokes that the obvious "struggling, thrashing, and lid-clattering" which accompanies the lobsters' descent into the boiling kettle and adds that, according to most ethicists, “ this combination of neurological structures and behavior can be used to determine a creature's pain capacity”. Having worked through the complexities of the issue, Wallace returns to his original question: is it possible to truly defend the act of consuming flesh without acknowledging the act's inherent selfishness? I for one, am very passionate about animal rights and have not been consuming meat or taking part in purchasing animal-tested products, etc. We cause suffering on a much larger scale to farm animals on a daily basis than any other form of life including humans. I'm not asking for all meat consumption to end (while that would be ideal); I'm asking for stronger, non-prejudiced animal protection and rights while urging everyone to consider what they eat, where it came from, and how it got there. It frustrates me that progress on this subject is disturbingly slow. For that I blame ignorance, which can be cured through open minds, education, and compassion.