#he's missing out

[cozones-hellhole]

Nobody tell Lemm about this

[tmnt-tychou]

Some Bodyguard AU thirst for your Sunday:

She watched him, sitting on the couch, unaware of her eyes on him from behind the cracked doorway. He was so handsome in his sleek, black suit. Long legs, one crossed over the other. Long, powerful arms stretched out over the back of the couch. She shouldn't have bothered him. Technically, he was still working. He was still on the clock, fully awake even after the party, making sure she was safe for the night.

But he was also patient and kind, and beautiful. And she wanted him. Maybe she could even have him if she was only brave enough.

Taking a breath, Mona Lisa stepped into the room, trying to make it as casual as possible. Trying to act like her heart wasn't pounding in his chest. His eyes were on her instantly. Always vigilant to any motion in the room. It was almost unnerving how nothing escaped the notice of either of her two bodyguards at any time. Still, she continued to approach.

“Donatello, would you mind?” She walked up to him and turned around, presenting the back of her dress. “I think the zipper's stuck.”

It was such an old line. Someone like Donatello would have seen right through it. But if he wanted the invitation...

Like in the movies, she imagined him standing up, getting in close. Nose in her hair, one hand smoothing down her arm and side as the other slowly revealed her bare back to him. It would be slow and sexy, feeling his hot breath on her skin. Feeling his want for her as he helped her out of her dress.

But the reality was Donatello didn't even have to stand up. He merely reached up for the zipper and, with a few tugs, pulled it all the way down. And then left it at that.

Mona stood there stupidly, unsure of what to do. This hadn't gone according to plan. Her first response was panic. She hadn't even considered this outcome. What the hell was she supposed to do now? The rational part of her brain spoke above her embarrassment. She hadn't lost anything yet. She could still play it off like this was what was supposed to happen the whole time.

Say thank you and go back to your room. He will never even realize if you leave now and act normal.

All the men she knew were humans, until her two latest bodyguards. How cliché of her to crush on the first mutants she had ever interacted with. So trite, so predictable. But Mona tried to remember to be kind to herself. She never put herself out there for a man. There was no need to. She already knew the answer would be no. She was brave to try for the first time ever and she was lucky to come out of it so unscathed.

She forgot to thank him for his assistance and turned to go, now eager to go back to her room and lick her wounds in peace. But as she moved to leave, Donatello's hand caught her wrist. His face was one of surprise and realization, as if he only now understood the intention of her actions.

“Do you...” he started, then cut himself off. “Can you help me with something?”

She blinked at him. “Yes. Anything.” It fell out of her mouth before she could really think about it. It was embarrassing. It sounded desperate, though she meant every word.

He too seemed a little flustered at her response. His golden eyes darted away as he said, “Could you help me with...my tie?”

It was on straight, completely in order as he always was.

“To...take it off?”

He nodded and she saw his throat swallow as she stared at it. She didn't really touch them, though she often wanted to. They were the ones who initiated touch—though always in a professional capacity. A soft touch to her arm or the small of her back to guide her or get her attention when they needed it. She had no need to touch them. And now she had been given a direct invitation. She mentally told herself to be cool about it.

She bent over, fully aware that her loose dress would give him a generous view of her cleavage, as she worked the knot of the tie until it was loose enough to pull one end through. The silky fabric gave a small hush of sound as she pulled it through the collar and away from him. The closest she had ever come to undressing a man. She wanted to keep going. It seemed he did, too.

“And the buttons?” he ventured.

Her heart skipped. There was no mistaking when he was asking of her. She was eager, but tried not to seem too desperate as she took her time, undoing one button, then another, then another. Enjoying his eyes at her as she worked.

Unbidden, her hands went to the collar and pulled it open. Jacket and shirt together were slipped off the wide frame of his shoulders. Her eyes drank him up. The textured, green skin. The delicate clavicle. The exposed part of his plastron. A peek of the turtle body beneath the human clothes that attempted to hide his form. She drank him up like he was a glass of cool water.

Her darting eyes were caught by his and he held them there as he gathered his feet under him and stood. Slowly, foot by foot he rose up; to her height, and then over her. She still had a grip on his clothes, which only pulled them further down his arms, revealing more of his body to her.

Her face warmed as he took up the space around her. His fingers slipped through the open back of her dress and found the dip of her spine. So subtly, he used that touch to pull her in a little bit closer.

His voice came out as a rasp. A tone she had never heard from him before. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

[man-im-so-high]

matty healy, i know you want me. i know you want a piece of my ass. you want a piece of my ass, don't you matty healy from the 1975?

[astro-can]

i miss the days when me and my older brother would watch demonslayer and agree to skip over the bloody scenes and agree to split the money when we had to pay to watch a mha movie and every friday we would take turns reminding each other that the new mha chapter was out and when we were on road trips we would make match up the characters in class 1-a and argue about who would win...those were the days

[hereditary20l8]

noel should be here among us creating "did you use to have an imaginary sister while growing up" polls

[shesmore-shoebill]

"I had choice paralysis :(" is a KILLER line.

He's such a comedic powerhouse, I'm glad more people are getting exposed to him :'D

[michameinmicha]

Do you ever miss a character from a show but not like in the way that you want to rewatch the whole show because theres so much stuff going on and thats not what youre looking for but you miss your boy

[silkentine]

I had to drop everything and make a comic based on this post by @pointycorgiears

Bonus:

[qnravel]

laios touden the man that you are

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

[brltpop]

[chloesimaginationthings]

How helpy tested out the FNAF pizza sim attractions

[cassandracain52]

so I’ve seen lots of fics about Bruce coming back and finding out things like Tim loosing his spleen or Damian getting shot (on multiple occasions by different people) and he almost always finds out by either having dug into the Batcomputers records and stumbling across it or just seeing it on scans or something after Tim or Damian is injured

but imagine for a moment Bruce finds out, not on his own, but by the others telling him.

And by “tell him” I of course mean that they all automatically assume that he already knows about all of it(because he’s the worlds greatest detective so obviously they don’t need to say anything) so they never bring it up until they mention it one day in passing and nearly give him a heart attack.

for example:

Bruce: Tim, I need you to come with me to speak with Dr. Thompkins down at the clinic about that new drug that’s been circulating

Tim: Oh, sure thing, just let me grab my mask

[Bruce not saying anything but looking at him confused because Tim is already fully suited up and wearing his domino mask?]:

[Tim, now wearing a surgical face mask]: Ok, I’m ready! [Bruce just staring at him, waiting for some explanation. He doesn’t get one.]:

Bruce: Tim

Tim: hm?

Bruce: Why are you wearing a face mask..?

Tim: Oh! Well Dr. Thompkins got mad at me last time I came to the clinic without one because there’s a lot of sick people there and I should be more careful since I’m immunocompromised-

[Bruce, immediately cutting him off]: Wait, what?

[Tim, slightly confused]: She got mad at me when I didn’t wear one last time..?

[Bruce, equally confused and growing very concerned]: No, not that. You’re immunocompromised?

[Tim, now completely lost because this is all common knowledge?]: Uh, yeah??

[Bruce, even more concerned]: How??? What do you mean??

[Tim, getting annoyed and rolling his eyes]: Well that’s what they call you when you have no spleen, Bruce.

Bruce: What.

[Tim finally realizing that, just maybe, they skipped a step]: I have no spleen? It got stabbed so Ra’s took it

[Bruce, about to have an aneurysm]: RA’S DID WHAT-

______ Or like him finding out Damian had his entire spine replaced

Bruce: Hey, do you think it’s strange Damian’s so small?

Dick: No?? He’s ten?? Ten year olds are small?

[Bruce, audibly concerned]: No, I mean don’t you think he should have grown some by now? Is he not eating enough?

[Dick, immediately relaxing]: Oh, that? Yeah, it’s fine

[Bruce, still concerned]: Are you sure? I was taller than that at his age

[Dick, waving his hand dismissively]: Nah, he’s fine. I think the spine replacement just stunted his growth a bit

Bruce:…

Dick:..?

[Bruce, near hysterically because all his kids somehow keep losing pieces of their insides and none of them seem bothered by it??]: his wHAT- ____

Dick has to spend the next several hours trying to stop Bruce from making everyone do a mandatory medical examination so he can make sure none of his other kids are missing anything

Dick promises that it was just the two things

Bruce is not reassured

[chiricat]

a different kind of justice

[shuakeweek2024 | day one: roleswap]

[egophiliac]

WAIT when did he get FANGS

[radiance1]

Danny has been reincarnated.

Which was an odd thing to realize, it wasn't even a slow one he just... snapped into it one day. One moment he was staring at a wall out of boredom the next, well, he was staring for an entirely different reason.

It was a task for his now young -he thinks around three years old?- mind to work its way through the memories, but it wasn't like he had much else to do honestly. So, what does he know?

His name is Danny, like, his actual name and not just a moniker. He was once a halfa and he already knows he's going to be missing invisibility and intangibility. He, well, died. For like, a second time which actually makes sense because reincarnation-

Anyways.

He was a clone of two people from this thing called the Justice League which, weird name but probably some government or activist group. Wonder Woman and Superman. Which were pretty weird names to name your kids but eh.

He doesn't really remember much besides that from this life, or the one from before but he's an adult! He'll figure things out once he gets out of this containment tube thing.

Did he mention he was in a test tube? He's a tube baby now. He thinks? Or maybe it's more like he's being contained.

Whatever.

So he breaks out. Thank you apparent superstrength that he has no idea why he has but he's not going to complain! He then wandered around all of the other test tubes, able to remember just enough of English to see that yea, they're dead.

He probably was too, before he had memories zapped into him. Or a vegetable.

He then finds this really big container, checks it out, then opens it because the clone inside isn't dead!

'Project Match' it said. He'll just call him Match.

Was he thanked for helping him? Nope. You would think that he would be thanked or at least somewhat respected for saving this guy but nope!

He was, quite literally, held up by his leg and dangled in the air. Who dangles a three-year-old?! Well, he was technically and adult but still! The next few things were a blur but after pulling off the old Fenton charm he found him and Match outside as he tried to stop him from attacking random people.

Luckily the charms and privilege of the youngest (he's assuming he's the youngest, because he's physically three) was more than enough to get through to him. Sure, the guy couldn't form words, really aggressive for literally no reason, really weird but also absolutely cool looking eyes. But he worked around the first issue by developing their own personal language from like grunts and stuff, the second he once again used his youngest privilege to boss him around and the third a pair of sunglasses easily fixed.

He just had to steer Match clear of those random S crest mark thingies. Which was a weird thing to hate but hey, he's not there to judge.