#he's had a problem for 30+ years and it literally ruining his life in every possible way

[handweavers]

my dad likes to do this thing to "prove" that he's not addicted to alcohol by being like (apropos of nothing) "by the way i haven't had vodka in nearly 2 months and i've only been having 4 beers every night which is a normal thing that everyone does" and after everything that's ever happened in my whole life with him i can't fight anymore i'm just like uh-huh. ok

[dolphingirl1234]

welcome to the first headcanons post in what will hopefully become a series unless my brain randomly decides to hyperfocus on something else

starting off with our favourite traumatised polar bear...

IT'S CAPTAIN BARNACLES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! 📣✨‼️

please enjoy my shitty picrew human version of him

gonna be honest I hate this one he looks like my dad when he was like 12

imagine him looking like this but way older

anyway headcanons:

30-mid/late 30's

idk if there's a name for this one but is sexually attracted to females but romantically attracted to males

has never dated because of this and has no desire to

he/him

he was the last of the crew to actually recognise his sexuality

everyone came out to him and he was like inwardly homophobic because of the way he had been brought up, but made a notebook full of everyone's pronouns and stuff so he could remember, and never did/said anything homophobic to anyone else - kinda like Imogen in heartstopper yk

dark brown hair that's kinda going grey on the sides

grey eyes

always has eye bags because our boy does not sleep

he's not that strict on uniform - there are random clothes that tweak plonked the octonauts logo onto and that's what is considered uniform; everyone is allowed to wear whatever they want as long as its appropriate and has the logo on it somewhere.

basically always wears the same thing because the entire world will fall apart without his routine

played candy crush once in an ad and loved it

he secretly plays it on the web bc he can't admit to himself that he likes it enough to actually download it

everyone has called him dad at least once

gets fathers day cards from everyone every year

^^ has cried from this on multiple occasions

doesn't get sick often but when he does he is SICK. the second he wakes up his face is grey and pale and he physically cannot speak without coughing

peso makes him go to bed and when he eventually agrees he sleeps for like 2 days straight and is then immediately better

he tells kwazii off for being reckless but he's done some pretty dumb shit himself

will sacrifice himself for anyone and anything (has been told off about this many times and still continues to do it)

he and inkling are the only people in the crew who like dark chocolate

absolutely despises anything sour

his pain tolerance is very high

likes mint and will casually go to the garden pod and eat it raw

has claustrophobia (canon)

also has emetophobia (look it up) because I like projecting

once you've looked up emetophobia come back and read the next one:

when he was a cub and was learning to catch and eat fish he threw up after eating one particular fish and every time he sees it in the sea he will literally hold his breath and run away

he's actually very good at modern lingo and memes but does not understand for the life of him what a skibidi toilet is

sees peso as his son and will literally protect him with his life

other crew members have various mental health struggles and barnacles is genuinely so proud of them when they do anything that's hard for them even if its just surviving the day its so cute

he hasn't experienced the things the others go through but he has so much empathy and pride for them its insane

gives the best bear hugs and when he gets sad all he wants is cuddles but he's too scared to ask anyone

natquik and kwazii are the only people who have seen him have a full breakdown

if you've had a bad day he's your guy he will pick you up and cradle you like a baby no problem

on his birthday he literally gives zero fucks about presents but is insistent on getting/making really goof presents for everyone else

he has the deepest voice ever. and he's not terrible at singing either but he never sings. ever.

the accordion secretly pisses him off as well and he just keeps playing it because it's an ongoing joke and he doesn't want to ruin it

his paws are MASSIVE.

that's all for now I hope you enjoyed your exclusive look at Zoe's Headcanons TM I probably forgot some so you might get some more later 👀

[thefamilycryptid]

MY HUGE RANT ABOUT SEASON 4

Spoilers ahead

This is going to be really rambly. It it is definitely not all of my thoughts on this season. I did have parts I liked about this season and I admit I sort of liked the ending of the season but I didn’t like the season as a whole and I like complaining so sorry this is long

First is was fat jokes at Diego, which was weird af, especially when he took of his shirt and showed he was RIPPED THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME LIKE NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY CHUBBY BRO WAS SUPERHERO JACKED???

I actually didn’t notice that it was Sparrow!Ben who got sent back with them at first, I was hoping and praying for my good ghost boy. I just kinda hates Ben’s whole character in this

Then it was constantly playing baby shark and NOONE DECIDES TO JUST SMASH THE RADIO??? Like if had played for just the first sequence then someone smashed the radio it would’ve been a bit funny but it took over a whole episode and I HATED IT

CGI vomit???? Constantly????? Also do the blood and guts look plastic to anyone else? Like practical gore usually looks pretty good why doesn’t just feel funky this season?

I liked the Jennifer plot line originally, but I feel like it just became a weird way to shoehorn Ben and Jen into a relationship.

You’re telling me that RAY CHESTNUT becomes a DEADBEAT DAD??? He was genuinely the sweetest guy season 2 and now we’re expected to believe he would just leave his wife and kid (I’m assuming Claire is his Bio kid in this, but even if he’s just her father legally it’s absolutely wack that he would just leave her and Allison).

The Klaus plot line was actually so upsetting this season. Like he screws around in every season but it’s usually tied back to the main plot somehow. But this time it literally just felt like “haha the gay addict relapses after YEARS of working so hard to remain sober”. They wrote it like it was some punchline, like we were meant to laugh about him being “haha funny comedic relief of Klaus never being able to have a happy life” and it didn’t even have any plot relevance?

And then the big one Five and Lila

I genuinely cannot express how disgusted I was with this plot line. The moment I started episode 5 I kept a literal chant of “oh god please no ” BEGGING that it was a fake setup.

But no they actually did that. They made Lila and Five have a weirdass emotional love affair while suspended in the bullshit time traveling train. I’m gonna break down specific thoughts I have about this incident just bc there is so much I have to say

1. The age gap of the characters. Lila is 35 (ish? Her time traveling is a lot less than five so we can assume she is roughly still 35) and Five is in his 60s mentally while being in the body of a 19yo (him being 13-14 in season 3 and the 6 year agegap). I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain the mental/maturity agegap between a 35yo and a 60yo.

2. There’s also the huge glaring problem of the actors ages. The fact that the writers waited until Aidan was FRESHLY legal to write him into a relationship with an actress 15 years older than him is actually disgusting. Especially considering Ritu knew Aidan since season 2 when he was 16 years old and she was in her 30s.

3. It completely ruins fives character as someone who spent several decades trying to figure out how to save his whole family, into a homewreaker who was completely ready to let his family deal with the apocalypse while he had a cushy old time in a cottage core life with his brothers wife. Five killed thousands of people for the chance to go home to his siblings and I’m just expected to believe that he would throw that away for his sister-in-law???

4. Lila is a kickass independent woman in seasons 2, 3, and in the beginning of season 4. She’s practically a single mother bc Diego’s head is up his ass, shes juggling taking care of 3 kids, having her extended family live with her, AND trying to feel normal again by playing spy in her free time. Yet after episode 5 she is reduced to a “woe is me I’m stuck between two brothers, one I’m married to and have 3 kids with, and the other I just think gets me so well even though he lied to me”. She is slightly redeemed after they get out of the train stop and returns to Diego but it was still gross that it happened in the first place and there are still weird aftershocks

Ok end of Lila and Five rant back to the other stuff

Loved Victor so much in this season btw, the only normal Hargreaves at this point. Wish we could’ve heard more about how he is apparently charming the pants off of every woman he meets, if he and Lila got together behind Diego’s back I don’t think I would’ve even been mad he simply is THAT BITCH and we love him for it.

The five Deli was actually kind of funny to me tbh. I just wish it had gone way differently, like yes definitely like all the Fives that gave up but I wish our five had solved the problem just to spite them all. Because that’s the POINT of Five’s character that he refuses to just give up on problems, even if he has to ham-fist his way through everything until he has the solution and this season just ruins that in him. Where is stubborn till the end Five?? Dead and season 4 killed him 😔

And then there was the ending.

I don’t like it for a bunch of reasons. But the main one was how sloppy it felt. Also a bunch of inconsistencies which I will once again breakdown

1. I didn’t like the whole “we must end our existence to save the timeline” solution. I feel like it’s just massively overdone and lazy writing. I honestly would’ve preferred never getting season 4 over this ending

2. Lila, Diego, and Allison being so worried about their kids being ok without them is such a weird point. Like if you cease to ever exist then your kids won’t have ever been born I think that’s the whole point of not existing???

3. This isn’t a complaint but the scene where Bennifer absorbs everyone else looks really weird to me idk why

The EPILOGUE!

I admit it was pretty cute to see all the characters from previous seasons appear again, I love the Swedes by baby girls.

But how the hell are the children alive when their parents ceased to exist?? Like genuinely how the hell does that work ??

I almost wished we could’ve gotten to see all the scenes from the mothers when they WOULDVE given birth but instead we get to see what happens without Marigold. It would’ve been a nice wrap up if we got to see the scene with Victors mom again but it’s just her swimming with the boy she’s hitting on. I feel like it would’ve been a slightly more satisfying ending that I could’ve forgiven the “erase ourselves for the good of everyone” ending.

I have more opinions so ask me abt them if you want but I promise this post would be a novels length if I said it all so I just wrote the big stuff here lol

[leavesdriftinginthewind]

I think what pisses me off most about the Wednesday fandom is that so many are intentionally ignoring the fact that Tyler is MEANT to be a tragic character because he is a Hyde. We basically have it beaten over our heads that Hydes are the outcasts of outcasts, deemed too difficult to help, and therefore abandoned and left to their own devices, basically giving them no way to NOT be tortured into being someone’s slave or ultimately having something tragic or awful happen to them that forces out their Hyde and leaving them to become a monster and/or get killed.

So many people blame Tyler for every bad thing that happened in this first season when he LITERALLY had no option but to do exactly as Laurel wished. He was TOLD to go murder the people he murdered, he was TOLD to get Wednesday to trust him, he was TOLD to go after Eugene, he had no CHOICE but to obey, it’s literally in the show’s lore. And we are both told AND shown what lengths Laurel went to to literally torture this teenage boy into becoming a monster that was FORCED to obey her. Not only that, but all that “mama” talk and physical touch is gag-worthy. SHE is the true monster who wanted everyone dead, and she ruined that boy’s life to try and get what she wanted. And the show INTENTIONALLY shows AND tells you all that.

We are SHOWN how Tyler was chained, beaten, poisoned to bring the Hyde out, to become Laurel’s perfect slave. And still so many see HIM as the “true villain,” stating that if he was truly “good” he never would’ve done all he did. Meanwhile the lore has TOLD you, Hydes have no choice. But WAY too many disregard this plot point entirely simply because they see it as something to cling to for their preferred ship to happen. That’s infuriating to me, truly. Not only from a standpoint of really loving Tyler as a character, but also from a standpoint of it being apparent to ME of where the story is going, and knowing that so much of the fandom is gonna be pissed off about it because it’s Tyler-centric.

We are given so much information about “Hydes have been banned from Nevermore for 30 years,” “Faulkner was studying Hydes but he died before he could finish his research,” “nobody knows for sure if, once unlocked, Hydes are only monsters or if the person they were is still in there.” Between all this within the narrative itself and Hunter talking about how he’s excited to explore the duality of the Real Tyler versus the Hyde next season, I think it’s obvious that Wednesday and Tyler are basically going to get to the bottom of this “are Hydes all 100% bad and dangerous” problem themselves, and the result of their research will probably get Hydes accepted back into Nevermore.

Wednesday already knows how unjust the whole system is, she mentions it FREQUENTLY in the first season. Once she gets past feeling betrayed by what happened in season one, it’s likely going to weigh on her that someone she cared about deeply enough to bring her walls down for, to actually seek out to KISS, was so hurt by this system that he ended up doing all he did. And Tyler is inevitably returning, the writers have talked about how we’re going to learn more about Tyler and explore his true feelings for Wednesday. They’ll be brought back together, no doubt. And thus, the deep dive on Hydes will probably begin.

I don’t care what you ship, I don’t even care if you really LIKE Tyler as a character, but I DO care that so many have made him out to be a pure villain simply because that suits their own personal narrative better, and makes them feel like it’s more likely their preferred ship will win the “war.” Like, try and WATCH a show, actually WATCH it, and not simply cling to bits and pieces that suit the storyline you’ve made up in your head. You’re SUPPOSED to hate LAUREL, you’re supposed to, at the very least, wonder if the Real Tyler is still in there, if he can be helped, and you are SUPPOSED to feel some pity for the boy who was forced into becoming an enslaved monster.

[likeahorribledream]

On The Run

Request: ''I had a bad dream'' with Steve Rogers. - @fangirllife98

Summary: After the incidents from Civil War, you and Steve are on the run together.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader / Nomad!Steve x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning: Nothing triggering, I think? I suck at warnings. There isn't any physical description for the reader.

Notes at the end.

+ This is not proofread, I apologize in advance for all the mistakes you're about to see.

Steve Rogers had been your friend since he had come out of the ice. You used to work for SHIELD but you were neither an agent or an Avenger, you worked in the medical field and you had been hired to monitor Steve’s health until he woke up and after. You spent a lot of time with him and quickly became close friends. You both have very similar personalities and it made it very easy to get along. He could spend hours talking to you about his life from before and he could listen to you for hours as you tried to explain to him everything that was new and different.

He loved that you weren’t an agent or an Avenger, it allowed him to have his own little escape from that part of his life whenever it got to be too much. You were, and still are, one of his best friends and he trusts you with his life.

When he decided to go look for Bucky, he wanted you to come with him. In case Bucky needed medical help, you were the only person he’d trust around his childhood best friend. Of course, you went with him. You had listened to Steve tell you hundreds of stories about the trouble he’d get into with his friend, Bucky was too important for him to refuse to go look for him with Steve.

You hadn’t expected to become fugitives of the law, yet here you are a year later; running and hiding with Captain America.

Steve brought Bucky to Wakanda so that he could heal and understand what exactly happened to him, when he came back the feud between him and Tony was far from being over and since he went against the Sokovia Accords, he found himself on the other side of the law and since you had helped him, you were considered an accomplice and were on the ‘’wanted’’ list next to Steve’s name. Tony could have gotten them out of it but when Steve chose Bucky over him, he decided to let him fend for himself. Steve had given you a choice; he could get you a place to live in another country where you’d be safe from the authorities or you could stay with him but that meant you would have to constantly be on the move.

You’d much rather be constantly on the move with your friend, than staying in one place in a country you didn’t know without being able to see him for who knows how long, the choice had been very simple and easy for you.

After a year, the heat had died down and it allowed you to stay in one place for longer periods of time. Steve had grown a beard and let his hair get longer, it made it harder for people to recognize him. Not a lot of people knew what you look like, but you decided to dye your hair from time to time just in case someone might recognize you.

A few days ago, you and Steve went back to New York. It’s Steve’s safe place and it’s so crowded, it makes it hard for anyone to recognize either of you. Steve had found a shady motel in a shady part of town that accepted to be paid in cash, no IDs required and no questions asked. You each had a room, a door connected them and you always left it opened just to keep an eye on each other.

It’s hard to sleep. You haven’t had a single good night of sleep since you left with Steve, you were scared that if you fell into too deep of a sleep, you wouldn’t hear if someone came for you.

Tonight is your third night in a row at this motel, you were tired of eating food from the vending machines so you decided to go get some takeouts for dinner. Steve doesn’t like when you go out on your own but it was too risky for him to go with you, that’s why you mainly ate food from vending machines. After dinner, you took showers in your respective rooms. After your shower, you put on a pair of sweats and a tank top and sat on your bed, waiting for Steve to join you to watch a movie.

‘’Come on, old man.’’ You called out towards his room.

He was taking his time and you were anxious to get the movie started.

His head poked out from his bathroom door, his hair completely drenched.

‘’That nickname wasn’t funny years ago when you used it for the first time, and it’s not funny now.’’

You laughed and pointed at your smile. ‘’Speak for yourself, I personally think it’s funny.’’

He rolled his eyes.

‘’Come on, Stevie. I’m tired.’’

Steve squinted as he looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand. ‘’It’s barely 8:30. How am I the old man here?’’

‘’You were born at the beginning of the 1900s, I was born at the end of the 1900s thus making you old.’’

‘’Well, give me 5 minutes and I’ll be right there. You can start the movie, I’ll still be able to hear it from here.’’ He told you, going back into the bathroom but leaving the door slightly opened.

You did as he said, you pressed play on the movie you had chosen earlier and sat with your back against the headboard, pillows behind you to make it more comfortable.

Five minutes later, Steve emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to you. He lifted his arm to let you snuggle up against his body and then laid it on your back, his hand resting on your hip.

Movie night always meant cuddle time.

Though you loved Steve with all of your heart and he loved you with all of his, the last few months had started to get rough for the both of you. You had never realized how much you were fond of hugs and human touch until you couldn’t do either. You came to a mutual understanding that, to keep your sanity, you would have cuddle time and it had sincerely helped better both of your moods.

Once the movie was over Steve turned off the TV, gave you a kiss on your forehead and went back to his room for the night. As soon as the lights were off, you fell asleep.

You were woken up a few hours later by something touching your foot above your covers. You quickly opened your eyes and relaxed when you saw Steve standing at the foot of your bed.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ Your voice was barely audible as you were still half asleep.

‘’I- I had a bad dream. Really bad. Can I stay with you?’’ He whispered.

You could hear how anxious he was and that woke you up. You grabbed the covers that were around your shoulders and lifted them up. Steve quickly walked around the bed and joined you, settling under the sheets. You waited until he was completely laid down and lowered the covers on top of both of your bodies.

‘’Are you ok?’’ You whispered.

You were laying on your side, facing him while he was laying on his back, looking at the ceiling. He turned his head and looked at you. His eyes were looking at every detail of your face, trying to burn this image of you into his brain so he’d never forget how beautiful you looked in this exact moment.

Steve’s had a crush on you since the first day he met you. At first he didn’t think too much of it, thinking it was just because you were the first woman he’d seen in over 70 years. Then, you two became really close friends and his feelings only got stronger throughout the years but he was going through a lot and he didn’t think it was fair of him to drag you into his problems so he decided to wait before telling you how he felt. He was finally gathering up the courage around the time Bucky resurfaced and before he knew it the two of you were on the run and he was terrified to confess his feelings to you and that you’d reject him. You two literally only had each other, he couldn’t risk ruining your friendship. Not when it was the only thing keeping the both of you completely sane.

You were both so oblivious, it was almost painful. Steve thought he’d ruin your friendship by telling you how he felt and you were keeping your very similar feelings to yourself because you didn’t think you were good enough for Steve Rogers, America’s Golden Boy. Though you tried not to let it show, you were a very insecure person and you barely felt like you were good enough to be friends with him, there’s no way he’d ever see you as girlfriend material.

‘’I don’t think I am.’’ He finally answered, whispering too.

He laid on his side to face you. It was pitch black in your room, but street lamps outside still managed to peak out from between the blinds, allowing you to see Steve’s face a little better. Whereas with his enhanced everything, Steve could see you very clearly.

‘’What do you need?’’ You asked softly.

‘’You.’’ He answered without hesitation.

You had one hand tucked under your head and you reached out to the other one, brushing your fingers against his jawline soothingly.

‘’I’m right here.’’

He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle touch on his jaw. When he opened his eyes again, he reached out over to you to wrap his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest. You were so close to him that you had to tilt your head back to be able to look at him while he had to look down. You moved your hand to the back of his head and played with his hair that was still a little damp from his shower earlier.

‘’Do you want to talk about your dream?’’ You offered knowing that sometimes talking about it helped him.

He shook his head no, his eyes on you and never looking away.

‘’I don’t want to talk.’’

His hand that rested at the small of your back was now moving up to cup the side of your face, using his thumb to gently stroke your cheek.

Somehow, Steve’s face felt closer than it had a few seconds ago. Your heart started racing and you were sure he could hear it. His thumb moved down, the pad of his finger brushed over your lower lip a few times. It sent shivers down your spine. Steve leaned down a little more, his thumb going back to rest on your cheek. His eyes kept flickering between your lips and your eyes. He was ready to stop at any sign of you being uncomfortable. He gently brushed his nose against yours and when you didn’t pull away, he finally kissed you.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you felt your cheeks heat up. Steve didn’t leave you enough time to kiss him back, as he pulled away quickly. Your eyes opened, scared to see the regret on his face but instead all you could see was how nervous he was.

‘’Is this ok?’’

You nodded as an answer, not trusting your voice to function properly. He quickly closed the gap between the two of you, this time giving you a chance to kiss him back. Both your eyes were closed, his thumb started moving on your cheek again and your hand that was in his hair slowly slid down his neck, then his chest to finally move under his arm and rest on his back. The kiss was slow, as if Steve was afraid to hurt you, but you both could feel all the emotions and feelings that you hadn’t had the courage to confess being put into this kiss. He pulled back, just enough to give you a chance to breathe. Both the kiss and how loved you felt leaving you a little breathless.

He looked at you and waited until you opened your eyes. The look in his eyes made your breath hitched in your throat. He had so much love in his eyes that you thought your heart was going to melt in your chest. He rested his forehead against yours, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘’You.’’ He echoed his thoughts from earlier. His voice was barely audible but he was so close that you could hear him perfectly. ‘’I just need you.’’

I am a big sucker for Nomad!Steve, look at that glorious beard!

I hope this wasn't too cringey. This was my FIRST TIME writing a kissing scene, so please be kind. I know it was probably really bad, I'm sorry!

Thank you to my dear @fangirllife98 for requesting this. I hope you liked it and that it fed your little Steve hunger for the day.

[Taglist: @n3ssm0nique | @lover-of-bucky | @beingagodsucks ]

If you want to be added to a taglist; Bucky taglist, Steve taglist, Missing Piece taglist, Blood Moon taglist or just the general taglist just let me know in the comments or DM me.

[mitch-the-simp]

The Only Teenage Bitch Worth My Time (Jotaro x Sister!Reader)

(I literally wrote this for my English final exam- But obviously modified and without cursing.)

(Y/n) had always been the star child; not one instance in her life had her intellectual potential been questioned by anyone in her family. Alas, this was one of those moments in which she felt like she didn't deserve to be the gifted child of the Joestar family.

Her brother, Jotaro, was as clever and quick-thinking as her, yet he was treated as intellectually challenged because of his demeanor. He was a rude teenager in his junior year that simply walked around acting like he didn't care about anything. He could walk into a restaurant and if he didn't like the food, he would refuse to pay no matter what. If you were to ask him for his opinion on how you looked, if he didn't like it, he would tell you his opinion straight up. No sugar coating, no nice little words; a simple "You look stupid." would suffice. Not to mention he didn't seem to respect his mother.

(Y/n) tried her best to appease her adoptive mother, Holly. But Jotaro? Oh, he didn't care about respect. He would talk back to her, go out and leave her to worry until he returned hours after his curfew. Yet, for some reason, their mother never scolded him. It was like she didn't even care about all that. She would let anything slide so easily. It baffled her to an impossible extent.

Yet, she knew there was more to him than that. (Y/n) seemed to be the only person he actually cared to talk to. She found it odd at first but eventually stopped asking herself why.

Jotaro would tell her about how annoying it is to walk to school and instantly be swarmed by his annoying fangirls. And with all honesty, (Y/n) felt the same way when she saw all those girls literally push her away from walking with her brother to school.

It wasn't soon until (Y/n) picked up a few delinquent habits from Jotaro, though. They were walking down the pavement as (Y/n) spoke to Jotaro, "Hey, you think I'm gonna do good in that science fair? The top prize is 148000¥!". In her hands, he held her science fair project. A small homemade printer she had been working on for months.

"You're pretty smart, I think you'll give those other nerds something to be scared about," Jotaro mumbled.

"You think you can help me set it up in the gym?" She asked smiling at him softly.

And just before he could respond, the stampede of girls ran towards them. They pushed around to be able to bother Jotaro. And when they did, one of them pushed (Y/n) out of the way, causing her to drop her project.

And that's when it happened. She balled up her fists in anger and punched the girl in the face.

Jotaro looked at her, taken aback by his sister's actions. Then he chuckled, pulled the brim of his black hat down to his face, and mumbled a proud, "Good grief." With that, he continued walking. Leaving (Y/n) alone to be caught and sent to detention, which eventually led to her being suspended for a week.

So that was exactly why she was sitting in the middle of her living room right now.

"Why'd it have to be today of all days..." she thought to herself. The reason being that her father, Sadao, came back from his Jazz tour that same day to go support her in the Science fair.

She looked around, wondering if there was anything she could do while she waited. Eventually, she decided to change out of her school uniform. Making her way to her room and changing her Japanese uniform with something that accommodated more to her Italian fashion desires.

She fixed her (H/c) hair and adjusted her (F/c) dress. Though, just as she was sliding on her boots, she heard a car in the driveway.

"Oh shoot-" she exclaimed, running out into the living room. She knew darn well that her mom had already informed her dad of her suspension. So playing it off was no option.

Her father stepped out of the car and hugged her mom. As soon as he saw him walk towards the house, she knew she was fucked.

"(Y/n), I would like to have a word with you young lady," he announced, not wasting a single second after entering through the front door.

"Yes sir." She gulped. She slowly walked towards him, already regretting what she had done earlier that day.

Her father sat down on the couch and patted the space next to him, signaling her to sit down. Once she did as instructed, her father sighed.

"(Y/n), your mother informed me of what happened in school today. Why did you do that?" he asked calmly.

(Y/n) grew nervous. She was too scared to lie to him, but would he be mad at the truth? She just knew he would, but she honestly had no choice, did she?

"I... I just hate it when all those girls crowd around Jotaro. He doesn't even want all that attention! But you know what just infuriated me?! They are constantly pushing through me to get to him! They made me drop my project! And- and you know what's worse?! I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY A SMALL WALK WITH MY OWN BROTHER! And I just thought, 'Ok, what would Jotaro do if he was as mad as I am?' And well... I don't want to excuse my actions... but it just... happened." She ranted, her voice trailing off at the end.

"I see, you were angry about a situation you constantly find yourself feeling helpless in, so you decided to strike at it as you've seen Jotaro do when he's in a problem." He spoke, attempting to understand what she meant.

"Well... he only reacts like that when someone makes him mad, so yes." She mumbled back.

"See, sweetheart, the past few years, I've seen that Jotaro looked at you as too perfect to even try to be like you. And now I see that in your own way, you see Jotaro as stronger than you. Perhaps more courageous? You have found a hidden nobility inside of him. A resilience that he doesn't even show us. And I know you admire it so much, that you wish you had the capability to be as carefree and careless as he is." Sadao commented.

"I... I guess you're right." (Y/n) admitted.

"Whether you see it or not, you two make a great duo because you're what the other wished they were. I'm not saying it wasn't wrong that you punched that girl in the face, but I'm saying that you should try to channel that newfound courage into... less violent things." He suggested.

"Just go where destiny guides you my cherry blossom," Holly added as she walked by them on her way to the kitchen.

"I'll take this as permission to be mean to people, verbally."

"Take it as you will, just don't get yourself into any more trouble, ok kid?" He clarified.

"Yes sir!" She cheered.

Sadao got up from the couch, he was about to leave the living room, when he stopped in his tracks and turned to see his daughter once again, "Oh and (Y/n)."

"Yes, Papa?"

"You're grounded."

"Awww! What about the science fair?" She asked.

"Well, you have a project to fix." He reassured her, letting her know he was still going to take her.

"Can I at least pick Jotaro up from school?"  You asked.

"Yes, but remember the conversation we had, (Y/n)." He responded as he walked into the kitchen. 

(Y/n) nodded at him, as she walked outside and laid on the grass. As she looked at the clouds. She really wished Jotaro had come to get her out of detention. Or had at least snuck her out of school for one of his smoking sessions before she got caught. Obviously, (Y/n) herself didn't smoke, so she really was just gonna sit there and maybe even snack on something while they both had a sensible conversation. 

That's where she got an idea: Jotaro was probably skipping class to smoke right now, and she had nothing to do, so she thought sneaking out of the house to hang out with him wasn't a bad idea. So she went back into the house and walked into the kitchen where her parents were talking to each other.

"Hey mom, dad, I think I'm gonna go take a nap until Jotaro is out of school." She announced.

"Alright honey, just let me know If you want anything, ok?" Holly smiled as she kissed her cheek.

(Y/n) went into her room and got a small backpack full of snacks. Slowly, she opened the door back up and ran out into the yard and out of the house's territory. Then she ran towards the school.

Once she got there, she looked around for Jotaro. As always, she found him sitting on the bleachers, cigarette in hand and black hat covering his eyes. (Y/n) made her way towards him, climbing up the bleachers and sitting next to him on the top seats.

He slowly turned to her, and chuckled, "Weren't you in detention?" 

"I was suspended you jackass." She responded.

"Oh, well that sounds bad for your permanent record," he spoke softly, taking a puff of his cigarette.

"Yeah... it was worth it though, those bitches have been getting on my nerves for some time now." She shrugged, taking a bag of chips out of her backpack.

"Really? Is it because they always push you around," he asked casually.

"Well, that's part of the issue... but mostly it's because I hate how they just won't leave you alone. It's like every hint you throw at them completely misses them! I mean, you literally call them bitches in their stupid faces!" (Y/n) complained.

"Yeah, it's pretty damn annoying..." he mumbled softly. 

He didn't want to actually thank her for getting him out of that situation; it would ruin the careless delinquent image he'd worked so hard to build. But he saw his sister's sweet gesture as the only reason why she was the only teenage bitch worth his time.

And even though he didn't say it, (Y/n) knew damn well that he was thanking her from the bottom of his heart with that response. 

"So, you want to help me fix my printer before the fair? I promise I'll let you use it." (Y/n) asked.

"Sure, it starts at 10, doesn't it?" 

"Yeah, I'm sure that if you help me we can get it done by 9:30." She spoke.

"But you have to tell me what to do, or else I'll probably fuck it up," he responded.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you, little Joot!" (Y/n) said as she pulled down his hat.

"Don't call me that you bitch." He turned away, hiding the embarrassed blush on his face.

"Come on little bro..." She pouted playfully.

Jotaro sighed, "I'm not your little bro. I was here first, you bitch." he grunted.

"Yeah, but I'm still older than you by one year." 

"Yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure that doesn't count." He rolled his eyes.

"Uh- I'm pretty sure that it does. Age is what determines who's the oldest sibling, dumbass." She said, matter-of-factly. 

"I still refuse to accept it." He grunted in annoyance

"Fine... suit yourself... little Joot.~" (Y/n) chuckled.

She wouldn't change what they had for anything in the world, and she knew Jotaro thought the same thing. Even if he didn't really tell her.

[radiosandrecordings]

Something I really like in the interpersonal dynamics of TMA is the portrayal of ex’s. There are a few mentions scattered throughout the statements but I wanna talk specifically about Jon and Georgie, and Tim and Sasha.

Jon and Georgie. Oh boy, where do I even start here. I have so many feelings about their relationship in general so it’s kind of difficult to untangle how I feel about them as a whole and the role they serve within the whole show’s examination of dynamics from their actual former romantic relationship. But, along with TimSasha, I think the thing I like about it is how little it’s brought up? I think it’s possibly only mentioned once, in 106, with Melanie telling Basira about it. At that stage we’d known Georgie for 26 episodes, and had Jon living with her, and they never mention it. I mean, we only get glimpses of their conversation on tape, maybe they did, but we don’t know for certain. The important thing is our experience as an audience and how they’re portrayed to us. 

They have this extremely fraught and complicated dynamic and it’s my favourite in the whole show, because each believes themselves to be right in the actions they’re taking, because they each are very stubborn and have these deep-seated mindsets, plus Georgie is working with imperfect information about what exactly is happening in Jon’s life. And it would be so easy, expected even for a lesser show, to have this culminate in a conflict where one of them yells “This is exactly why we broke up!” or “This is just like you, you’ve always been like this” or “This is just like (x y z time)!”. 

But that never happens! I don’t think we ever get any references to what they were like as a couple. We just have to take their dynamic as it is, because whatever they were like in the past is something they’ve put behind them. It ended on bad terms, but for regular Young Adult Break-Up reasons. They’re adults now, they have new problems like Being Framed For Murder, and The Apocalypse. And it’s just really refreshing to see them deal with new problems and not stale ones from the past that they’ve buried. 

This extends to how Martin interacts with Georgie as well. When they first meet, Georgie is aware that Jon is in love with him, and Martin clearly knows they were staying together, if not that they used to be together from him calling her “Jon’s Georgie”. And yet they conflict for how the other treats Jon, not because of any dating based tension, especially surprising considering Martin has a whole list of people he’s been jealous of in regards to Jon. Which means it’s allowed to become a trait which, while not good, never leads to any actual conflict. I really like that because that would just feel out of place in the narrative, to have all this massive complicated web of dynamics and grievances going on and then have “You dated the guy I like 10ish years ago, and that’s why I hate you” as one of them. It would feel a little immature in a story about people closing in on 30 if it was allowed to grow beyond something brought up in minor scenes as flavour text and become a  whole dynamic definer, especially in a show where each dynamic is supposed to be a specific type of exploration of relationships.  

The same could be said of Jon and Melanie. The two famously don’t get on, finding any reason really to go for each other’s throats a lot of the time, even when it can be taken more literally as ‘scalpel to the shoulder’. I’ve made jokes about this scenario’s hilarity before, but in actual fact I’m glad that there’s never anything made of “The girl who hates me stole my girlfriend”. Because Georgie doesn’t belong to either of them, she’s not a pawn in any of their fights. She’s a woman who can make her own decisions and form opinions independent from who she’s dating. 

And then there’s Tim and Sasha. Something they were so chill about, we, the audience, didn’t know about it for 162 episodes. It’s a lovely little scene really, it tells us so little but also so much. They have an “Ill-advised hook-up” and Tim is convinced something more will come of it. Sasha laughs and tells him that she doesn’t agree. And then the conversation continues on. He doesn’t push her on it, doesn’t even ask her why, just lets it go. From Sasha referencing that she’s “pretty sure we already established it’s a ‘wont they” it might hint that this is a conversation they’d had before, but honestly from the light tone I want to give Tim the benefit of the doubt and say Sasha is just referencing the general fallout of their fling that made it, to Tim’s own description, ‘ill-advised’. And unlike Jongeorgie, after this breakup, Tim and Sasha remain close friends and co-workers. Tim continues to care about Sasha even when it’s clear she doesn’t have any romantic interest in him and no longer any sexual interest, because he genuinely cares about her as his friend. He jokes around with her and curses out both Jon and Elias and they’re just good to each other. They platonically care so much that Sasha is literally willing to risk her life to save Tim when he doesn’t notice Prentiss in episode 39. 

And again, jealousy never comes into play. When the Not!Sasha starts going out with ‘Tom’ - Literally one letter away from his own name! - It would be so easy to have some of Tim’s anger in season two manifest in jealousy about that. About wondering what this guy has that he clearly doesn’t when Sasha has moved on to someone else. But that never happens, at least as it’s presented to the audience, because Tim is genuinely a nice guy and respects her decisions (Aside from the fact that isn’t Sasha but y’know. He thinks it is). 

Overall it’s just very, very good to see a show where characters are allowed to have (had) romantic/sexual relationships but these not define their dynamics or for this to extend to how other character’s perceive them. A lot of media will often introduce the ‘evil ex’ because for some reason I feel like people tend to forget sometimes that whatever happens later, we date people because in the first place there was something there that we liked? And not every breakup has to ruin our ability to see that. It’s also maybe a little reflective of the fact that every relationship I analysed there involved at least one queer person? (Well, every person I mentioned is queer except canon Sasha. Sorry love) Because just from my experience and my friend groups that’s how it can often be. It’s just another way in which TMA has my favourite character dynamic writing and really knows how to give it’s characters complex connections without letting them fall into stereotypes. 

[maerambles]

Chapter 4, 5, 6 and 7

Keeper of the Lost Cities - Shannon Messenger (October 2, 2012)

I decided to mush these chapters together since it has been a while since my last update.

“It’s not magic. It’s just how it is.” [Fitz] (Ch.4, p. 25) 

What is “it”, Fitzy-boy?

“Lumenaria is where all the other worlds come together. Gnomes, dwarves, ogres, goblins, trolls.” [Fitz] (Ch.4, p. 26) 

Interesting how these are the magical beings that Shannon decided to incorporate. Imagine if KOTLC had vampires, werewolves, mermaids, fairies, nymphs, etc...

“Then they decided they wanted to rule the world - like it even works that way - and started planning a war. The Ancients didn’t want violence, so they disappeared, forbid any contact with humans and left them to their own devices. You can see how well that’s working out for them.” [Fitz] (Ch.4, p. 26) 

Hey, your society isn’t peaches and roses either, buddy.

War, crime, famine – humans had a lot of problems. (Ch.4, p. 26) 

Hmmmmm don’t the elves deal with this stuff too to an extent?

Sophie looked around, surprised she recognized the plain square houses on the narrow, tree-lined street. (Ch.4, p. 28) 

Quick question, but does anyone know how “wealthy” Sophie’s family is? They come off to me as middle class, and from the way the houses are being described it looks like I may be right.

Fitz coughed and glared at the sky. “You’d think humans could handle putting out a few fires before the smoke pollutes the whole planet.” (Ch.4, p. 28)

Didn’t Fintan, an elf, start these fires? Because the elves banned his ability (even though an argument can be made on how dangerous other abilities are, like inflictors, that aren’t banned).

Usually, wildfires in the city smell like barbecue. This time it was more like melting cotton candy - which is actually kind of nice, if it didn’t burn her eyes and rain ash. (Ch.4, p. 28) 

Do wildfires actually smell like barbecue? I googled it but I couldn’t find any descriptions of the smell of wildfires. Shannon is actually from Southern California, so I’ll trust her word on it.

“No. It’s a special ability. One of the rarer ones. And you’re only twelve, right?” (Ch.4, p. 28)

I remember there being a decent amount of Telepaths in the book: Sophie, Fitz, Alden, Tiergan, Quinlin, and Kenric are all telepaths. It doesn’t feel like one of the rare ones, but maybe it’s temporal precedence taking affect since we are looking at the series through Sophie’s eyes.

She frowned. “But... I’ve been hearing thoughts since I was five.” (Ch.4, p. 30) 

Prodigy? Check for Sophie Foster.

“Are you blocking me?” he asked, ignoring her question. (Ch.4, p. 30) 

So Sophie can naturally have her mind never read? Add blocking to the list of abilities that Sophie can do without trying.

“Ugh... stop doing that,” her mom complained, closing her eyes and shaking her head. (Ch.5, p. 34) 

This defiantly has happened to Shannon, lol, considering that one of the traits that Sophie inherited from Shannon was tugging her eyelashes.

She’d been teased and tormented  and bullied her whole life. (Ch.5, p. 35)

For being smart? And young? I wish we got more information on why she was bullied.

You could be normal, like your sister. [Sophie’s mom] (Ch.5, p. 35)

This would have ruined 12 year old me, so I can’t imagine what Sophie must be feeling like. And how is Amy normal? She’s literally eight or nine years old. This book treats her smarts and her medical condition (I presume her family thinks she has chronic migraines?) like it’s the worst thing in the world and that Sophie is less for that.

Amy was Sophie’s opposite in every way, from her curly brown hair and green eyes to her lower than average grades and incredibly popularity. (Ch.5, p. 36)

How does a nine year old have “incredible popularity”? Also, why is Shannon treating the fact that she has lower than average grades as a good thing??? Just ranted about that above so I’m just going to move on now.

Finally, her dad set his fork down - the official end of dinner in the Foster house  - and Sophie jumped to her feet. (Ch.5, p. 37) 

Very traditional/nuclear family I see.

It explained why she always felt so out of place around them—the slender blonde among her chubby brunette family. (Ch.5, p. 38)

One of my close friends from high school was the only redhead in her family so I don’t see how this can be that big on an issue. IDK, this book tries really hard to make us feel bad for Sophie and as a reader I already feel for her, no need to point stuff like this out for sympathy points.

“I brought you some E.L. Fudges.” (Ch.5, p. 38) 

This got a chuckle out of me.

Her parents always tucked her in - another Foster family tradition. (Ch.5, p. 39)

This is sooooooooo sweet.

But the color brought out the gold flecks in her eyes, and today she would see Fitz again. (Ch.6, p. 40)

Random, but I’ve never actually seen someone with brown eyes that had gold flecks in their eyes. I think you need to be directly in the sun for that.

He winked one of his piercing blue eyes. (Ch. 6, p. 42)

Creeeeeeeeppppyyy. Glad Mr. Forkle put him in his place.

Mr. Forkle might be on the old side, but he was a large man, and when he straightened up to his full height, he made quite an intimidating figure. (Ch.6, p. 43)

Woah, forgot Mr. Forkle is supposed to be tall.

A hand grabbed her arm and pulled her into the shadows between buildings. (Ch.6, p. 44) 

Her school has multiple buildings? Fancy. Would have loved to see a chapter or two of what regular life is like for Sophie, as we so far have seen so little of it. How bad is Sophie’s time at school?

Reading minds always caused way more problems than it solved. (Ch.6, p. 48)

It sounds fun to a normie like me!

After her stressful morning it was nice to know she would be safe, but she couldn’t help wondering what they were trying to keep out. (Ch.7, p. 49)

Good question, Sophie. Also, has Everglen ever been (successfully) attacked? The gates must be insanely strong.

“Kidnapping is a human crime. I’ve never heard of an elf considering such a thing - much less trying it.” [Alden] (Ch.7, p. 51)

How would Alden even know that elves don’t think about kidnapping? Just because you don’t hear about it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

“Couldn’t hear her either, could you?” Fitz asked him, sounding triumphant. (Ch.7, p. 52)

I don’t know, Sophie already has so many powers so if in the future someone can read mind would make it interesting. Not that I want Sophie to be more vulnerable, but I just want her to less unnecessarily over powered.

“Only those with the strongest ability qualify for Foxfire, and if you don’t get in, you might as well kiss your future goodbye.” [Fitz] (Ch.7, p. 54)

Are Foxfire and Exillium the only two schools in the elven universe? That means that elves probably don’t have a large population. I’m not sure how many students attend these schools, but if they have one-on-one classes with teachers tells me that not many students must go to Foxfire. I come from a city of about 80,000 and we had four high schools (with a decent amount of students going to all of them) so does that mean that the eleven population must be around ~50,000, taking into account that elves probably don’t have a lot of kids and don’t typically die. Humans can easily take down that amount of elves if we’re 7 BILLION strong.

Dozens of squat, brown-skinned creatures with huge grey eyes tended to a garden that belong in a fairytale. (Ch.7, p. 55)

“So … you have gnomes as servants?” [Sophie] (Ch.7, p. 56)

“We would never have servants. The gnomes choose to live with us because it’s safer in our world.” [Alden] (Ch.7, p. 56)

I have a lot to say about this section.

Firstly, they’re brown skinned? This feels so problematic considering almost every character we have met so far has presumably been white. Just look at all the “official” art for the series. As much as I dislike Laura, this can’t all be her doing since other official artists that Shannon Messenger has contracted have drawn almost all the major characters white/white-passing. It doesn’t feel right, as much as I personally headcanon the Vackers as POC.

Here’s an actual complaint from a Black Author.

Secondly, why is it never mentioned that where gnomes live isn’t as safe as where the elves live, essentially forcing them to live with the elves? Would the gnomes still be there if their homeland was safe? The elves are lazy and are taking advantage of these creature’s kindness, and elves have all the time in the world. They’re literally immortal.

Though everything she’d seen in the elven world spoke of wealth. (Ch.7, p. 57)

Why don’t we share some of that, comrade Alden?

“But our bodies stop ageing  when we reach adulthood. We don’t get wrinkles or gray hair. Only our ears age.” [Alden]  (Ch.7, p. 59)

So many fantasy books are obsessed with youth/staying young. Kids, ageing is good! There’s nothing wrong with it! It also disturbs me that I’m 22 and Alden probably looks only a few years older than me.

“I take it elves are vegetarians.” (Ch.7, p. 59)

VEGETARIAN REPRESENTATION!

“Let’s see how good you are, then.” [Bronte] (Ch.7, p. 60)

I know I’m not supposed to be cheering him on, but gosh I love it when the overpowered “chosen one” characters get questioned about their powers and they’re capability of using. Sadly, Sophie isn’t the only chosen one characters that has a lot of abilities they’ve never worked for/last earned.

That’s all folks!

[sweethq]

♡ how you became friends with them // headcanon

𑁍 Characters: Oikawa Tōru, Kuroo Tetsurō, Akaashi Keiji, Sugawara Kōshi

»»—Trigger warning(s): none—-««

➶ Genre: hmmm fluff?

-ˏˋ A/N: i’m an absolute hoe for all of them, I just had to put them in the same post ˊˎ-

Click here for part 1!

your nephew’s friends were going to the park to play volleyball and he wouldn’t stop begging you to take him

both of his parents were at work, forcing you to keep an eye on the little booger

all you wanted to do was stay home and watch terrible reality shows

but you decided to be nice and grant him his wish

besides, it would be nice to leave the house every once and awhile lol

when you got to the park you saw your nephew’s friends playing volleyball with a guy who was definitely not their age

“do you know that guy?” you ask the young one standing next to you, hoping that the older boy in the distance wasn’t some creep that was preying on children

“yeah, that’s _____’s uncle. he’s really good at volleyball so he likes to come and show off”

what kind of grown ass man would want to show off his skills to a bunch of 9 year olds lmao

you didn’t question it any further and took a seat on a nearby bench while your nephew ran to his friends

after about two minutes of scrolling through your phone, your nephew returns

“tooru wants you to come play volleyball with us”

“did you tell him that i don’t know anything about volleyball?”

“yup. come on, let’s go”

deadass pulls your phone out of your hand, grabs your arm, and drags you over to the group

he was freakishly strong for his age

“hi! i’m tooru, what’s your name?”

“uh, i’m y/n”

“cool! do you want to play volleyball with us?”

“do i have a choice?”

“nope!”

he quickly goes over the gist of the game and shows you how to position your arms for a receive and how to spike the ball

honestly most of it went through one ear and out the other, but you nodded as if you understood everything he was saying

you finally started the mock match, you and tooru on opposing sides

first play into the game, tooru serves it (at like 30% power from his usual serves) and it’s coming straight for you

instead of taking a step backwards so you can receive it, you just stare at it until it hits you dead in the face hAAA

all of the kids started laughing while tooru stood there in shock

who would’ve known this would be the start to an amazing friendship

we all know, math is FREAKING HARD

and the fact that you had to learn about imaginary numbers irked the hell out of you

they don’t even exist, WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THIS

but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it

your teacher could see you visibly struggling with this lesson, even seeing that you nearly failed one of your quizzes

she pulled you to the side after class one day and told it to you straight

“if you don’t get a B on this next test, you’re going to have to retake this class”

“y-you expect me to get a B?!!!?!?!?!?”

yeah the rest of the day you were depressed lol

how in the world were you supposed to magically understand all of the material within the next week?

that’s where smartboi!kuroo comes along

he approaches you during lunch, taking the empty seat in front of you

you just kinda 👁️👄👁️

“hi so i couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with our math teacher. i can help you if you want. i don’t know if you know this, but i’m kinda good at math”

he gave you one of his infamous smirks, making you scoff

you had never talked to kuroo before, but he had a reputation around school for being arrogant and cold

“please tell me why i would want help from you?”

“because if you don’t get help then you’re probably going to fail this class and have to retake it, and we both know that’s not what you want.”

you hate that he’s right

“ugh fine”

over the course of that week you and kuroo hung out every day after school

and you found out that he’s nothing like what people say he is, he’s just a big nerd

you start to become fond of him, liking how patient he is with you and how much effort he’s putting into your tutoring sessions

by the end of the week, you’re actually able to call him a friend

and you got a B on the test :p

you were not a morning person

you were the type or person that needed to set 50 alarms in the morning just so you’d wake up for school

unfortunately, sometimes 50 alarms still isn’t enough to keep you from falling back asleep

one morning, you closed your eyes after turning off your alarm, knowing that another one will go off in 10 minutes. I’ll get up then, you tell yourself

what you didn’t know is that the alarm you turned off happened to be the last one

you wandered back to sleep and waited for the alarm that never went off

when you woke up, you checked your phone and saw that you were most definitely running late

you quite literally jumped out of bed and threw on your uniform and shoes before grabbing your backpack and running out the door

you didn’t even bother grabbing something to eat or checking the weather, two things you usually did every morning

you sprinted towards the bus stop, hoping that you didn’t just miss it and have to wait for another

but of course, as you’re approaching, you see the bus depart

and, to make matters even better, it was starting to rain

you made your way to the bus stop, standing under the small roof for shelter from the rain, staring at the bus that was slowly getting smaller

you sigh loudly while taking out your phone, finding the bus schedule only to see that the next one won’t be coming for another 20 minutes

school starts in 15, which is around the same time it would take to run there

but at this point, it wasn’t just raining, it was absolutely downpouring. but what choice did you have?

you prepared yourself to ruin into the rain, but before you could leave the shelter of the roof above you, a cold hand grabbed onto your wrist

you turned around to see sugawara, a boy who was in your third period class

he reached into his backpack and pulled out an umbrella before handing it to you

“here, use this. if you run to school in this weather, you might catch a cold”

“no, that’s okay. if i take this, then you might catch a cold. plus, it’s your umbrella, you should use it”

he laughed before grabbing your hand and placing the umbrella in it

before you could protest, he pulled his hood over his head and ran into the rain

you were dumbfounded, but decided not to waste any more time and make your way to school

you returned his umbrella to him when you saw him in class, and bought him lunch as a thank you

found out that you guys live in the same direction, and decided to walk to and from school together

now you don’t need 50 alarm clocks, knowing that suga will beat ur ass if you’re not ready to leave by the time he gets to your house lol

it was the week before finals, so you were doing the same thing that most students were doing

pulling all nighters at the library and drinking way too much coffee

it was approximately 2:30 in the morning when you were approaching the last class you needed to study for

the problem was, you had left your textbook for that class at home (freaking idiot)

thankfully for you, the library had one in stock that you could borrow for free

you wandered around the building that was surprisingly empty

on most days, every seat would be filled regardless of the time, everyone wanting to cram as much knowledge into their heads before their big exams

you finally found the section you were looking for and started scouting the bookshelves for the textbook you desired

after a solid 10 minutes of grazing through hundreds of books, your eyes finally fall onto the one you’ve been looking for

the only problem was

it was on the top shelf

and you were definitely not tall enough to reach it

but were you going to ask someone to help you get the book like a normal person?

of course not

no, the only logical answer to this problem would to be to climb the bookcase and use the tips of your finger to hopefully bring the book into your grasp

so that’s what you did,,,, kinda

the book was just out of your reach, so you started to swat at it like a cat, hoping the momentum would make your reach a tad longer

and it did!

but instead of you grabbing the book, your arm decided to fling it off the shelf

and right onto the head of a pretty boy who happened to be standing right beneath you

“oh my god are you oka-” *falls off the bookcase*

you were surprisingly able to land on your feet, but you twisted your ankle in the process

“are you okay?” akaashi asked, seeing the pain flash in your eyes

“I should be asking you that, i just dropped my book on your head :(“

akaashi was definitely not planning on spending his friday night in a nurses office with some clumsy person that drops books on people’s heads

and he definitely didn’t appreciate having to be checked for a concussion when he could be using this valuable time for studying

but when he was given the all clear and your ankle was wrapped, you offered him your last onigiri as a peace offering

instantly forgets about the whole incident and becomes a happy puppy

you find out that you guys are studying for the same class so decide to combine your brains and study together

study buddies 4 life!

[taglist] — @avylee

📥 click here to fill out the taglist form

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: Character Headcanons prt2: The Boys ™️"

Heracles:

He is literally the 2nd strongest individual in all of Greece. The first is Atlas and the 3rd is Dionysus.

Every single thing that has happened to him is canon. The labors, the romantic nights of crossdressing when he was a slave, everything. He doesn't give a flying fuck about what you think he did. There is a likely chance he may have done it, whether he wanted to or not.

He's the tallest and most heavily built of Zeus children. It continues to baffle Hera and Zeus how Heracles is so large. When he started to grow olders, Zeus was worried if Heracles was the "prodigal usurper" that would over throw him, but solved this by having more children.

Heracles doesn't have any weaknesses nor fears. This effectively makes him the biggest threat to.... literally every other devine entity.

He doesn't hate Hera. Oddly enough he is fully aware of her frustrating marriage, so as penance, he tries everything to help her with whatever ever meaningless task she wants him to do. He basically is an unwanted adopted son to her. On Hera's side, she despises him, and she equally hates the fact that he's even alive, but it breaks her heart everytime Heracles does something nice for her.

After years of enduring cruelty, he still doesn't hold a lot of ill will. It's just a part of his strength.

Inspite of his polite and stern demeanor he actually does have a short fuse, he just chooses when it would be inappropriate time to lose his temper.

He has been married 1 1/2 times. His first marriage was rather normal until Hera ruined it, he was "pretend" married to Queen Omphales when they were doing their thing, and is currently married to Hebe.

He's actually a big softy, when he smiles it's considered as rare as a blue harvest moon, it's just that his face is so muscular that his default expression is "resting death face".

He actually enjoys hanging out with his more powerful siblings with the main exception of Ares and Aphrodite. He considers Ares to be "too immature to fight him" and he's too much of a legendary dude bro to fuck Aphrodite, he just wants love not fuck.

He can be bashful at times, mostly when he is told to either display himself or flaunt. He became bashful after his year of slavery with Omphales. It was more of a time of discovering he genuinely may have some deepseeded issues and Omphales helped him out figure out his insecurities.

Perseus:

He's considered Zeus's favorite demi-child. Mostly because Zeus considers him a "little earthly version of Apollo". Perseus however dispises this comparison.

He's currently in his mid 30s, yet he's still concerned the greatest hero in all of Greece. In some arguments he's always compared to Heracles, much like how one would compare Superman and Batman.

If he had a voice actor, it would be William Defoe. He's gives off this vibe of an old school kind of man with a side of chill.

He isn't too proud of his status as a demigod. It all started when he had to kill Medusa. The thing is that Medusa was the more prettier sister of the three legendary Gorgons however she was also considered the kindest out of the three. So when he kept being pressured by not just the fact that he had to save his mother from the marriage she did not want, save Andromeda from a sea monster that was being sent to kill her, and extra pressure from the gods too reclaim his honor as the son of Zeus... He had to basically do something he really did not want. Little did he know at the time, there were other means to be successful in his mission, years later when he discovered this he had become disillusioned with the glorious image of being a demigod. This ended up affecting him personally, affecting his marriage and ultimately a motivation to continue his quest to be a hero for the sake of helping those who need it most...not for glory.

He has this charming tooth gap that he's had since he was young. It's a distinguishing feature that basically separates him from being compared aesthetically to Apollo. He's also has a little stubble, riddled with small scars and abrasions from his many battles.

He with do a background check on you and your request, he has had plenty of experience with people trying to take advantage of him. Being a man who is willing to do the job correctly and as best as possible, people tend to hire him in order to give rid of whatever creature is just mildly inconveniencing them.. a good example would be if a farmer notices there's a griffin nearby but the Griffin isn't doing anything so he hires Perseus to kill the Griffin so it doesn't kill the goats, Perseus will find every way to either remove the Griffin from location or the farmer himself. He tries nearly everything to make sure he doesn't end up killing anything in the end, ironically this is what makes him an effective hero.

He's currently divorced with andromeda, due to his own personal and our struggles it's affected his love life to an extent where he is considered emotionally distant or just uninterested in being married. he doesn't have any infidelity issues or anything he just genuinely lost his motivation as a person but regained the motivation to be a better hero. Turns out Andromeda was the one who was cheating on him, he doesn't have any ill will against her surprisingly and he can't blame her either.

He has a 5 year old daughter who lives with lives with Andromeda. He always finds a way to secretly stop by to say hi and give her a gift.

The only person he tolerates from Olympus is Hermes, he still seems to see him more as a mentor and older brother than anything. He has a more professional relationship with Athena but after the conflicting information both her and Poseidon gave him when he had to kill Medusa, he tends to be very cold to both gods.

You actually never had ambrosia until Heracles introduced it to him, that was the day when he was deemed a full strength demigod. He's still angry at that because he wanted to die in peace of old age or in battle. It's the only thing Heracles is genuinely remorseful for.

He actually sees Pegasus less like a pet and more like a really oddly shaped brother. Turns out after he dug further into the situation, he found out that technically Pegasus is a half brother. so he just has full blown conversations with a creature that can't respond to him in human language, nobody really understood it at first until he explained it to Heracles and only Heracles.. because he loves being spiteful that way.

Theseus:

This is although equally as handsome as many of Zeus's sons, he's probably the least intelligent. It's even argued that he's actually less intelligent than Ares.

He's a complete himbo, outside of his lack of intelligence, he's also extremely vain. Both Perseus and Heracles theorize that if it wasn't for the promise of marrying minos's daughter, he probably wouldn't have helped in the first place.

In between heracles, perseus, and the rest of Zeus's sons, he's the second shortest. The shortest is Hermes. Hermes continues to be any perpetual cycle of distress and mild apathy because of this.

He's also the top person on Dionysus's hit list. For abandoning Ariadne, Dionysus cursed him to consistently get attacked by random animals.. specifically leopards and or animals of the felide family. Theseus still hasn't any idea that his lack of animal magnetism is actually a curse.

He genuinely does not know Ariadne is still alive, he's convinced himself that she abandoned him or just went back home for some bizarre reason. It's also never occurred to him that he may have accidentally left her on an island, it is not known rather or not he actually abandoned her on purpose or just because of unbridled ignorance.

He's surprisingly resourceful for somebody who couldn't figure out how to get through the labyrinths correctly the first time, he actually took one turn before he went directly back to the entrance and tried his best to go any deeper but still went back to the entrance. His resourcefulness may come from Poseidon's side of the gene pool.

Ironically, Zeus actually has no idea if this one is even his kid. There's an ongoing rumor amongst the Olympians that Poseidon and Zeus may have accidentally slept with the same woman, unfortunately it is not known rather or not Theseus it really is Zeus's or Poseidon's son. The two brothers rather not fight over this because it really doesn't matter in the end.

Due to Theseus's self-righteous arrogance, many of his ventures usually results in his god-given resourcefulness helping him out. Most of his success is attributed to either giving himself all the credits or simply assuming that he actually did something. this angers Perseus and Heracles quite a lot actually. And oddly enough unlike the two, Theseus never actually had to do anything above simply appearing and "solving the problem". His most iconic triumph right next to killing the Minotaur, was actually slaughtering a few Amazons. Ares is till this day trying to formulate the worst and most painful way to kill Theseus.

He's actually a bit of a coward.

He maybe currently king of Athens, but mostly because Athena directly influences him from time to time. Apparently he doesn't have the mental fortitude to resist Athena's control. Good for her because he isn't a really good ruler.

Achilles:

He's the sturdy brother. Prior to his injuries, he actually was similar to Ares but he was a little more clever. He was the best warrior in his army and he was the assisting tactician.

Post injuries, he has lost an eye, Perseus had to amputate his messed up leg thus he had a prosthetic foot made by Hephaestus, and he two more mental injuries. PTSD from his battle at Troy and the brain damage from an arrow that went through his eye.

Because of his brain damage, he can speak in incomplete sentences. He also has outbursts of wrath and acts out his battles. When he's speaking in full sentences, he's going through a thing where he genuinely believes he's back to his old life, going as far as referring to anyone around him as people he use to know, this actually maybe a side effect of his ptsd. Heracles and Perseus are aware of these quirks of his and does their best to make it less problematic for Achilles.

It's been century since the downfall of Troy, after somehow surviving the process of death through means that even he can't remember, Achilles seems to be immortal in both senses of the word. He neither aged since the downfall of Troy and it doesn't seem that he died from his wounds like he should have. Because of his prolonged existence in the underworld, he has also gained the ability to see ghosts, unfortunately the others think he's just simply talking with "the ghost of his past" and think nothing else of it.

Hades actually wasn't aware of Achilles's existence in the underworld until many of the residents started complaining of disappearances. After some thorough investigations, Hades found him basically living feral in the more isolated portion of the underworld where it seems he was surviving off the flesh of anything that would come across his path. At first Hades tried to help him pass on, but Achilles had other plans so he battled Hades instead and survived. Hades may have won but he has a large scar on the base of thigh from his encounter.

His invulnerability didn't actually come from his mother dipping him in the river Styx, or at least that wasn't fully the way he could have became invulnerable. One actually has to consume a little bit of the River to become fully invulnerable. When Achilles was a child, he was just merely dipped in it thus it gave him invulnerability until his skin was broken by the arrows, when he found himself in the underworld, he couldn't find any fresh water so he drank from the Styx instead. That is when he became fully invincible to the point of godhood. Now he's arguably even more indestructible than Ares.

Achilles actually seems to be have been completely hardwired differently after his experience. He isn't a genius, but he does seem to find solutions to things in unexplained ways.

He sees Perseus and Heracles as proxy soldiers and brothers-at-arms instead of biological half brothers. Never having any knowledge of them until they rescued him from the underworld.

He REALLY doesn't like Poseidon and Ares, the interesting part is that he doesn't understand why. It's as if he can't remember why he hated them so much, he has a passing apathy twords Apollo. He also doesn't understand why occasionally Apollo stares him down like an angry dog, infact Apollo never really elaborated on the fact that it was Achilles who desecrated his Temple back at Troy. Many of the gods actually don't fully understand what is going on with Achilles with the exceptions of Hermes, Ares and Dionysus. Since all three gods understand how mortals physically work, they can sympathize with him. However, every time when Ares interacts with Achilles, it always seems to look like someone put two male honey badgers in the same room with a shiv and a pocket knife tied to their heads when they're done fight.

He's likes horses, he actually tries to talk to them like as if it was his fellow soldiers. In reality, many horses he talks to are actually reincarnated warriors from various parts of Greece. some have no memories of their past lives, and some are fully aware that they've been reborn into a completely different life. In some bizarre senses Achilles accidentally may have coined the idea that horses are just reincarnated soldiers who died in battle. Strangely enough it's the only set of individuals he has fully constructed conversations with instead of just incomplete sentences perfectly summarizing his thoughts.

Achilles knows how to use almost every single weapon you can give him and for some reason he can learn how to use a new weapon that he's never seen before in just a matter of minutes. This is because he apparently has really good muscle memory and half of the time he just accomplishes so many interesting things because of it.

He genuinely enjoys watching Hephaestus and hangout with him in his workshop. He likes the dimly lit but warm workshop, he find it far more comfortable than the cold and damp cavern he'd stayed in after he "died".

No one is certain how he even survived to begin with. Some of the rumors that have stemmed from this situation say a Fury took him in out of pitty and nursed him back to moderate health, to Eris being responsible for his survival.

He's surprisingly stubborn for somebody who may have lost 10% of his brain function, memory, and who consistently goes through War flashbacks much like an old veteran would. At this point basically he has the physical strength and energy of somebody in his mid-twenties but the demeanor and temperament of somebody in their late eighties. The only way you can coax him to do anything is to simply trade with him. This could be either new weaponry for him to practice with, or just a snack.

[lesbian-percy-weasley]

The Various Breeds of Christmas Trees That Stand Between Us by Gay-Natasha-Saves-The-World on Ao3 (aka the most epic fanfic writer ever)

Ship: Percy Weasley x Oliver Wood

Content Warning: None

Description: Percy and Oliver have been dating since May but as Christmas tree season comes closer, Percy has to figure out a way to tell his family that he’s dating a boy who’s parents run the rival Christmas tree farm or attempt to hide him until January.

Percy’s family has been in the Christmas tree business since before anyone could remember. It was the oldest in town and one of the biggest as well. They could confidently get almost all the town's business and even some out of towners came. Like Christmas tree kingpins, they didn’t let any other competition plant roots in their territory. And they were successful until a few years ago.

Riverside Christmas Tree Farm sprouted right under their noses. A family had inherited the land from the old man who once owned it and they decided to start a Christmas tree farm. Ever since then, it was a race, a competition, a battle of wills to see who will sell more. The feud between these two families for two months out of the year was not to be matched. Not by the Montagues and the Capulets, not by Xbox and Playstation, not even by Coke and Pepsi. No, if you compared the feud between the Weasleys and the Woods to anything it would be a dishonor.

And with every great story of a family feud of epic proportions, there are always a pair of star crossed lovers.

Percy and Oliver started dating sometime around May, not knowing that they were part of rivaling families. Even if they did know, neither of them would’ve given much of a shit.

Percy’s family didn’t know that he even had a boyfriend. He knew that they would make fun of him for it. They always did find something to make fun of him for. You would think they would catch on after Oliver picked him up to hang out practically every week in the summer. Really, they were just happy Percy finally had a friend that wasn’t in the classic literature club.

They did love each other but as late November reared closer, the whole family thing started to become more complicated. They feared that if they kept hanging out as they were they would make their families irrationally mad. Come January it would all blow over but right now they were in rough waters.

They took to hanging out at school together. Oliver spent lunch in the library with Percy and Percy spent after school watching Oliver’s hockey practice when he didn’t have a club meeting to attend. They didn’t mind as long as they could hang out together.

One day, they were sitting in Oliver's truck when the topic of the Christmas tree farms came up.

“Are you ready to pretend we hate each other until after break?” Oliver asked whilst putting his arm around Percy. “We don’t have to. It’s not like my family pays attention to what I do anyway.” Percy mumbled as he leaned into Oliver’s embrace. “I’m sure that’s not true,” Oliver replied.

“I have been staying after school every day for the past three weeks and they haven’t said anything.” Percy laughed. “I’m sure we can get through the next 40 days without the sky falling.” Oliver gave a lighthearted hum in response.

With that, they left the school to drop Percy off at his house. It wasn’t a very long drive between their houses so Oliver didn’t really mind. He could’ve lived on the opposite side of town and he wouldn’t have cared but it was just more convenient. He always dropped him off at the end of the driveway. When he stopped the truck, Percy gave him a quick kiss and grabbed his books.

“I’ll pick you up at 3 tomorrow,” Oliver said quickly. “The movie doesn’t start until 4,” Percy replied with a smile. “Yeah, and it takes 30 minutes to get to the theater and you’re usually slow.” Oliver chuckled as Percy lightly punched his arm. He hopped out of the truck and waved goodbye as his boyfriend drove off.

It was about 2:50 the next day and Percy was waiting quite anxiously for the text saying Oliver was here. He was waiting in his room since his family was all downstairs planning for when they will open the farm. He wasn’t as involved as everyone else. Sure, he did help when it was open but other than that he chose to opt-out of many of the discussions.

Running a Christmas tree farm wasn’t the walk in a park that most people presume it is. Not only did you have the land you had to maintain all year round for a short business season, but there was also a lot to consider when planting. Of course, you have to plant a multitude of different trees like fir trees, pine trees, cedar trees, and cypress trees (not even getting into the different breeds of said trees). And then you had to strategically plant so that all the most popular types were accessible. If someone had to walk a mile to get a douglas fir then they would just go elsewhere.

Then came the problems with having competition. The fact that they had somewhere else to go that was only 10 miles away. They had to quality check meticulously. If one family got a bad tree then they’ll just switch to Riverside and if there are a multitude of bad trees then it starts to add up. And then there has to be a balance of u cut and pre-cut trees. You can’t just chop the good ones then that leaves nothing for people who like to chop their own.

The ambiance is a big factor too. If it doesn’t feel like a Christmas tree farm then people won’t enjoy the experience. That’s mainly what his family was discussing. How to decorate the farm in a unique yet traditional way. Well, that’s the topic they were on when Percy finally emerged from his room.

He walked down the stairs to be immediately met with the gaze of his family. Of course, they noticed that he was dressed to go out. That suspicion was confirmed when he grabbed his coat and his shoes.

“Where are you going?” his father asked. Absentmindedly, Percy replied, “I’m going to see a movie with my boyfriend.” His eyes widened with horror as he realized what he said.

“Boyfriend?” George asked, “Who’s your boyfriend?” Now, Percy could lie right now. Wait until January to tell them the truth. But he already revealed that much so there was really no use. “Oliver Wood,” he replied as he began to tie his shoes.

The whole energy in the room shifted. “Wood? Like Riverside Christmas Tree Farm Wood?” His mother asked a bit directly. Percy didn’t even look up from his shoes, he just nodded. That was when all hell broke loose.

“Traitor!” Fred screamed over a chorus of gasps. “It’s really not that big of a deal.” Percy sighed, finally looking up at his family. “It is a big deal, you are literally dating our only competition.” Ron rebutted.

Percy was starting to get a little angry with his family. “You guys have been pestering me about getting a boyfriend but when I do y’all act like this.” He wanted nothing more than to leave and go on his date. “What I’m more concerned about is the fact you’re wearing your Frankenstein shirt on a date.” George snickered.

“What’s wrong with my Frankenstein shirt?” Percy asked defensively. “You look like a nerd,” Ginny added. “I don’t care. I just want to go see Pride and Prejudice with my boyfriend and there is nothing any of you can do about it.” He was trying to keep his cool but it was obvious he was losing it.

Suddenly he felt a vibration in his pocket. He knew it must be from Oliver so he started to walk out the door.

“Use protection!” the twins yelled as he was stepping out the door.

“Fuck off.” He replied as he shut the door.

He heard his mom scream “Language!” through the door but he didn’t care. He wanted nothing more than to get away from his family. They teased him a lot but he could usually deal with it. It seemed like they were never happy with anything he did. He knows he’ll never live this down.

But he couldn’t let this ruin his date. For years he’s tried to convince someone to go to Austen Night at the theater with them but none of them wanted to. At least Oliver cared enough to act like he was interested. That was more than his family ever did.

When he saw Oliver’s truck at the end of the driveway, he tried to forget about what just happened with his family. He hopped into the passenger seat and Oliver gave him a quick kiss. He could tell something was off. Percy wasn’t the best at hiding his emotions, especially when he was frustrated.

“Is something up?” Oliver asked as Percy was buckling his seatbelt. “I told my family about us.” Percy mumbled, “It didn’t really go well.” A look of concern fell on Oliver’s face.

“You know, if you don’t feel safe, my parents probably wouldn’t mind if you stayed with us.”

Percy looked confused for a second. “Oh, they knew I’m gay it was about the…”

“The Christmas trees?” Oliver asked

“The Christmas trees.” Percy finished. There were a few seconds of silence then they both broke out in laughter. “They’ll get over it. My parents weren’t very happy when I told them but they don’t really care now.”

“I know. What I was more upset about was them making fun of my Frankenstein shirt.” Percy said as Oliver started to drive. “What’s wrong with your Frankenstein shirt?” Oliver chuckled. “Nothing they just don’t have taste apparently.”

When the movie was over it was already dark out. Percy was rambling about the difference between the book and the movie when they walked out. He wouldn’t even realize it was snowing unless Oliver tapped his shoulder.

“It’s pretty early in the year for snow,” Percy said while he put his hand out to let snowflakes fall onto it. “I don’t think the weather cares about your opinion, Percy,” Oliver said lightheartedly. “It was just a comment I know I’m not Jack Frost or anything,” Percy said defensively as he turned towards Oliver.

Oliver couldn’t help but notice how the snowflakes melted as soon as they touched Percy’s bright orange hair. Or how the wind made his nose and cheeks a little bit pinker. All he could think about was how lucky he was to have him in his life.

“You’re so beautiful.” Oliver blurted out. Before Percy could think of a reply, Oliver kissed him. It was sweet and passionate like all their kisses but this one felt different from Percy. It was like his rom-com Hallmark Christmas movie moment and he wanted it to last for as long as possible.

When it did, Percy hugged Oliver as his life depended on it. “I love you, Oliver.” He said into his shoulder. “I love you too, Percy. Even if your family never gets over it, I’ll still love you.” Oliver replied.

Driving home, Percy was still talking about the movie. Oliver didn’t mind. He liked seeing that Percy was happy and after all, the movie was better than what he was expecting.

Oliver insisted that he drive Percy to his house instead of dropping him off at the driveway. He made an excuse that there might be ice on the driveway so Percy just brushed it off. But he knew Oliver was planning something when he insisted to help Percy carry his things in.

Percy did buy a sweatshirt and an ornament from the movie theater. After all, the proceeds went to the local library and they were Pride and Prejudice themed. But it wasn’t anything he couldn’t carry.

“You just want to see my family, don’t you?” Percy said with a smirk. Oliver shrugged “Just want them to know I’m not going anywhere.” Percy rolled his eyes. “Whatever, you can help me carry my stuff in.”

When they walked through the door, Percy’s whole family was watching a show in the living room. His parents smiled at them but his siblings gave only glares at the two of them. Percy brushed them off and headed up to his room.

Percy showed Oliver around it since he had never seen it before. He had the opportunity to talk about his various trinkets so of course, he’s not going to waste it. But it seemed too soon when Oliver needed to head home. It was dark out and getting kind of late but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t help but think about a time when they could live together. No more feuding, no more Christmas tree drama, no more sneaking around as to not get in trouble. Just the two of them, in love. No amount of fir trees would ever get between them.

[gemmassong]

So uh. It’s 4:17am and I know literally no one cares but I just finished watching Bo Burnham’s new special and like, holy shit. I have some Feelings. And this is my fucking tumblr so unfortunately anyone who follows me can and will be subjected to those Feelings. Apologies in advance. I blame my high school English teacher for this, who I had for freshmen, junior, and senior year, because that cunt made as analyze and pick apart not just books but documentaries, movies, and other pieces of media to such an extreme degree I still blame her for a lot of my academic burnout and inability to really engage with my college courses because what was the fucking point. If I could write the best paper in the class and still not get a full score when my classmates with less well written shit did because I ‘wasn’t reaching my full potential or putting in as much effort as required’ why should I bother. 

Off topic. I’ll put the rest under a cut to be vaguely courteous because this is going to be a lot of semi-organized rambling that I’m putting here mostly so I can stare at it in baffled, disgusted horror at ~2pm tomorrow when I go back and reread it. And then decide not to delete it anyway because hey, I don’t delete anything because I enjoy tormenting myself years down the road.

I grew up with Bo Burnham, yeah? I knew all the lyrics to New Math when I was in middle school and you can bet your ass I understood like, four verses at the time I first started singing it. And I remember the vivid pleasure of going through high school and hating math because I suck at it (ayooo failed out of Calc senior year first semester~ (they weren’t called semesters in hs they were some quarterly thing but I don’t fucking remember the right term)) and the absolute joy realizing how one of those verses were clever was brought me. Like, every time I understood a new verse in New Math it made my entire day so much better. 

And then the summer after my first year of college I, for some fucking reason I cannot fathom now, 20 year old me thought it was a brilliant idea to decide to watch What. with my parents while we ate dinner. I had seen What. before. I knew what the contents entailed. I was apparently 100% down to watch him pretend to jack off on stage while eating taco salad in the living room with both of my parents who were so closed mouthed about sex that I got literally my entire sexual education from fanfiction. 

And then my cat had a seizure literally right before that scene so fate helped me escape that hell for some reason, and yes, Siren was fine after a very scary night.

But like. Still. What the fuck, 20 year old me. Why did you set yourself up for the mortifying experience of watching a comedian mime jacking off while sitting next to your mother. Why. 

So anyway. Bo Burnham was peripherally a part of my life for a very long time. I’ve always really liked him. I wish he had made more vines while vine was still a thing because the ‘is there anything better than pussy’ one still cracks me tf up. 

I saw a post here at some point about how the new special made someone feel like they’d just watched his suicide note. And I didn’t take it seriously, because yeah, Make Happy got kinda serious and stressful there at the end but like? 

Maaaaan am I glad I watched Inside though, despite being vaguely concerned. I totally get where that person was coming from. It does kinda feel like that. At the same time though, I just have this feeling that Inside is going to be important. 

Here’s where I finally get to the actual fucking point of the post.

Collectively, entertainment media is desperately trying right now to figure out how the hell to handle the pandemic. Ignore it? Pretend all media now exists in a universe where the shitstorm of 2020 didn’t exist? Most of the ones that I’ve seen have gone down what I consider the absolute worst route, which is of course terrible fucking writing that kind of? addresses the pandemic and shit that went down, but like, with clunky dialogue and really bad jokes. I’m mostly talking about the Roseanne spinoff/sequel/whatever the fuck it’s considered, of which I watched half an episode of and then silently begged my fiance to let us leave his mother’s house because she was laughing at it and it was genuinely, horrifically painful. This is why I don’t watch tv anymore. 

ANYWAY. He never mentions it. Not once. There are plenty of really relevant things discussed and pointed out and I think one? mention of the actual year 2020 but beyond that. Nothing. And I feel like Inside might be one of the most genuine, visceral, real pieces of media portraying the pandemic that we, as an American society anyway, are going to come away from this all with. At least everyone in my own admittedly piss poor social circles has spent like last ~year and a half doing that social media thing where the more you post about how well you’re doing and great it all is, the more miserable and bad off you really are.

(Yes, that is how I judge my ‘friends’’ relationships on facebook. The more pictures/posts/tagged shit/social media demonstrations of how ~amazing~ and ~in love~ and ~perfect~ everything is, the worse I assume the reality is.)

But Inside strikes as very, very real. And I just feel like 20 30 40 50 years from now, when we’re talking about the 2020 pandemic and how it shaped and shifted and effected and destroyed people and society, it’s going to be a very important piece of media. Because so far, anyway, it’s the first one I’ve seen where you can actually see it all go down. The absolute fucking breakdown so many of us went through. Dealing with worsening mental problems that had previously been getting better, lost progress, ruined plans and dreams and missed opportunities and everything else. 

It’s the first one that strikes as real, I guess. As not manufactured. Not tailored to portray the ‘correct’ message. Not diminishing or exaggerating anything but just... showing. Existing within the reality of the year. And not being apologetic or ashamed about it. 

I’m glad he actually went through with putting it out into the world. That probably took a whole lot to do, and I hope good things get to him for going through with it all. For completing it and giving it to the world. It was visceral and raw to watch and my piss poor attention span that needs 20+ tabs open at all times actually sat there and watched it, in full, all the way through in one go. Without pausing to read a fic, watch something else, check facebook or tumblr, answer a roleplay, or skim through omegle to see if anyone good was online. That’s like, unheard of these days.

I just. I dunno. There’s a lot there to breakdown. A part of me wants to do it, take the time and write the analysis and the breakdowns and pick out what I think the important bits are. But I hate doing that now and I’m sure the desire will be gone come afternoon-morning, along with all these weird feelings about it. 

This has gotten long enough and it’s 4:47 now, so half an hour of word vomiting into a tumblr post is probably too much. So I guess I’ll call it quits and maybe maybe not delete this when I wake up. Night, anyone who actually suffered through reading this mess.

[oakantony]

more of my year on the JET programme. (you can read the first parts of this story in this tag.)

after two weeks on the job it became exceedingly obvious to me that I had to move apartments. there were a few major problems.

Distance. my apartment was about 5km from my main school and about 8km from my second school, which might not seem that terrible on paper, especially if you have a bike. the issue is that the commute took me across two major freeways (under one, over the other) and it was...RIDICULOUSLY unsafe. I know I sound dramatic and it might be hard to take it at face value but riding on a bicycle surrounded by cars and trucks during rush hour traffic, often times in situations where there were no lights (it was a FREEWAY lol), was absolutely absurd. and, like i mentioned previously, this particular prefecture is VERY pro-car, so cyclists were not very common, and the roads weren't built for me.

Neighborhood. i was surrounded on three sides by factories. I know one of the factories manufactured cars, but I'm not sure about the other two, but nonetheless, they stank. REALLY badly. like burned rubber and hot tar. I couldn't put my clothes out to dry outside because they wound up smelling like gasoline. it was horrible. i will never understand why they chose to put the JET participant in this neighborhood, because this apartment contributed to problem 1, where my commute was sooo dangerous. I was dodging forklifts and cranes every morning. what's more, these factories near my place operated 24/7, so i was woken up literally every night from whistles, alarms, bells, forman yells, etcetera. at all hours.

Living necessities. there was no grocery store in my neighborhood. no arcade. there was the combini that i'd gotten familiar with, but if I wanted ANY home products, I had to bike 30 minutes to a full on hour to get anywhere close. this was an ongoing headache because I couldn't bring home things I needed to live. I NEEDED a futon. I was still sleeping on this ridiculous tiny plasticky black "leather" couch because i had no way of securing a bed. 

Expense. tbh they chose this place because it was a cheap option. right? except, uh, it WASN'T THAT CHEAP. the building itself was fairly new and they were charging a premium for it, despite the awful location. tbh I'm pretty sure the intention of this building was to have a place where factory workers could crash during the week before going to their actual homes. when I started poking around online to see other rental options, I was FLOORED to see there were some affordable options were closer to my school, out of this warehouse neighborhood. in this small town, I didn’t think there’d be any inventory at all.

so, because I started doing my research and realized I was overpaying to be in a really, really terrible spot, I started then doing research about what it would take to move apartments. I visited a realty office and between my poor japanese and their pretty excellent english, we were able to figure estimated costs for ending my current lease (which was actually month to month, so it didn't require me to break contract) and starting new one elsewhere. honestly, I think they jumped into help me really readily not because of the fat check I’d have to hand over, but because they recognized almost immediately that my current address was in a really shitty spot, and wanted to help me get out of that bad neighborhood.

i worked with a very kind woman and started touring new places to live, which went quickly, because there were seriously only, like, three options in my whole town. lol. i chose the very first place we saw. it was on the river, on the CORRECT side of the freeways, and was nestled between two farms. what's more, next door there was a tiny cafe run by a cute elderly couple, and I only had to bike .5km to my school. 

"I'll sign today," I said. "Unfortunately, because you are a foreigner, this landlord is going to require a Japanese guarantor that will vouch for you." Hmmm... Where was I going to get one of those?? Shitballs. "This is typically your supervisor at work. That's your guarantor from the first property." I started to explain to her that, uh, maybe that wasn't a good idea. and then she said, "oh, don't worry. I've already spoken with him on the phone. he said he will talk with you at work on Monday." oh...oh no. she told me not to worry, that these properties have been sitting unleased for, like, a year, so we can take our time with the guarantor paperwork, and I could move in anytime. I wasn't really worried about that, no. my supervisor and I hadn't talked one on one since I ruined his life by going to the principal, and he was probably losing his ENTIRE mind at the idea of me moving apartments.

spoiler alert: he was, in fact, losing his entire mind. on monday, he stomped up to me while I was still in the shoe storage area of the school, changing to my slippers, and said, “You’re like a child. Mature adults don’t act like you.”

uh, good morning to you too, supervisor-san.

“You absolutely cannot move apartments. You’re a child. A CHILD. Grow up. Grown ups live in apartments like yours all the time.” like, he wanted to explain to me that adults just suck it up and live in shitty apartments, like he already knew it was a shitty apartment, and wanted me to not care. or give up. or whatever.

I started to explain to him the reasons I listed above, he stopped me, and stomped away, fuming. I honestly just shrugged him off. I’d ask some other people to help, instead, I decided. I had through the end of the month to figure it out. 🤷

[dalekofchaos]

My critique of the Sequel Trilogy Lightsaber duels

My biggest problems with the Sequel Trilogy are the blatant rip off and unoriginality, no clear plan at all, lore breaking bullshit, lack of worldbuilding and poor executions of great character concepts. In this post, one of my My biggest gripes with the Sequels is the terrible Lightsaber fights.

The only good duel in my opinion is Finn vs Kylo Ren. This feels raw and powerful. A hardened soldier who has just became familiar to Lightsaber combat vs a trained dark side warrior. Despite Ren's years on training, though, Finn puts up a good fight and is able to hold his own before having his back sliced up. But.....that's what kills the fight for me. Finn's injuries. If this were in the first 6 movies or anywhere in the EU, Finn would be in a wheelchair or in a bacta tank for life. And guess what? A movie later and Finn’s injuries are never brought up again or treated with any severity.

Like Finn’s injuries, Finn’s rivalry with Kylo Ren is dropped for no reason whatsoever and never mentioned again. Finn and Kylo Ren are narrative foils, yet after TFA it’s dropped??? From the start they have been prominent foils to each other: dark from light and light from dark, both in the First Order but in drastically different positions. And Kylo too obviously has strong feelings about his defection. I also believe that Finn is the awakening in the force that Kylo and Snoke felt. Perhaps that is why Kylo focused on Finn and is so angry about him. Finn is also the first person to use the legacy lightsaber and is the first to actually fight Kylo. TLJ could've focused on Finn and Kylo being  narrative foils having a force connection and Kylo wondering why Finn would switch to the Resistance while Finn wonders why Kylo joined The First Order and  Rey standing in the middle of it all wondering with the new realization that her family has a mixed past of good and evil and her questioning where exactly does she belong? The way at the height of tfa when Kylo Ren rejected Han Solo’s offer for redemption and killed him he looked over and noticed Finn. Like they both locked eyes and in that moment was a surge of emotions between them— shock (and some fear) on Finn’s end, and anger on Kylo’s as he shouts at Finn that he’s a traitor— and those circumstances set Finn and Kylo up to be the dynamic for the sequel trilogy. They were foils, and the trilogy had the potential to truly expand on that and see their development in a final standoff/rematch at the very end. But it was wasted, because why have good movies.

Rey vs Kylo Ren. This duel was bullshit from start to finish. Okay, I don't care how force sensitive she is. I don't care that she downloaded Kylo's abilities in the interrogation. ANd I don't give a fuck WHO she turned out to be related to. If you are thrown into a tree, you are gonna be out for at least an hour. I will hand it to them that it feels like a genuine fight, but it just feels cheap when Rey won. It also doesn't make it any better that Kylo's injuries doesn't force him to wear the helmet at all times, his facial wounds are non-consequential. Rey has no prior training. Never held a lightsaber. Rey fighting off thieves with her quarterstaff is not the same thing, it is understandable that Kylo was struggling because of his injuries, but Rey didn’t struggle against Kylo. Even Luke struggled with Vader and Anakin struggled with Dooku. What should have happened is as it looks like Kylo is about to win, Chewie from the Falcon fires his bowcaster to keep Ren at bay and both Rey and Finn make it to the Falcon. This way we can keep Kylo Ren strong and show Rey struggling to overcome Kylo. It will also show This is how powerful he is when injured, so imagine him at his peak. Instead we get a pointless fight instead of Rey and Finn just escaping Starkiller base while Ren collapses due to injuries and Rey beating Kylo served no purpose(the end goal to destroy Starkiller Base was already accomplished) and helped derail their villain of the trilogy.

The Throne Room Duel. Everyone knew that Rey and Kylo would kill the Praetorian Guards. This is a fight with absolutely zero stakes. It's one thing if Rey and Kylo dueled Snoke himself, that might be a good fight. But come on, did anyone REALLY think they would lose? There is no tension in the scene and it is pointless. Kylo Ren and Rey are fighting a faceless a group of guards that we know absolutely nothing about and have literally no purpose in the entire story except for this one fight. We know neither of the characters are going to die because these are just faceless red shirts and there is still like 30 to 40 minutes left of the movie. Terrible editing takes away any enjoyment one might have with the fight choreography, if you've got to literally photoshop out the bad guys weapons in post production to not look stupid you might need to recoreograph the shot. There are multiple times where Rey, Kylo and the guards are just doing motions and actions because they look cool but serve no purpose but to look cool. Kylo stabbing the ground? Pointless. Rey twirling her rave stick around while someone falls behind her, pointless. Not even once do we see them displaying their powers is what cheapens the fight. Kylo Ren is powerful enough to freeze a blaster and a person in place and Rey herself unlocked Kylo’s powers, so the two of them could have easily ended the fight sooner than it was dragged out. Kylo is powerful in the force but he SERIOUSLY could not stop a Praetorian Guard choke holding him and Rey struggled with a guard? Rey and Kylo were stronger in TFA and are just made weaker in the duel with the Praetorian Guards. Kylo could have frozen half of the guards and Rey could have mind tricked the other half into killing the frozen guards and Kylo and Rey could have finished them. They are masters of light and darkness, but they are made weaker. The throne room scene is a symbolization of everything wrong with the movie. It’s all flash, but no substance and the more you think about it, the worse it gets.

All this duel makes me believe is that Rey and Ben should’ve both switched sides in TLJ. Rey gives in to the dark side and Ben returns home. Rey is the most Sith like character if you obey the rules of George Lucas for Light and Dark sides of the force. Ben Solo is more Jedi like throughout the movie until the end. Let me explain. Rey throughout the sequel trilogy has given in to her passion and anger. In the end of TFA Rey gave in to anger and hate to defeat Kylo. and in TLJ she is shown to use anger and hate throughout the movie. She is shown to as Yoda put it “take the quick and easy path to the dark side” gives in to anger and hate in almost every scene before she boards the Supremacy and gave in to the temptations of the dark side water cave. Her dark side actions in TROS speak for itself. Ben is calm and clear minded like a Jedi, he even wants to cut all ties to attachments like a Jedi. Everything we were told of the Jedi and how disciplined they are, Ben displays that in TLJ until after the Throne room fight. Hell, EVEN THE THRONE ROOM FIGHT SUGGESTS THIS. Think about the fact that Ben really does not move or even engage. He just stands there and dodges and swings once when the guard rushes him. Contrast that to Rey, who is clearly being more aggressive with her lightsaber and attacking rather than just being passive. How again is Rey the Jedi and Kylo is the dark side force user in this movie? They’re fighting in the exact opposite way they should be. Rey fights for the kill while Kylo gets a glancing blow in the armor in the opening fight. Their style of fighting in the Throne Room with the Praetorian Guards really suggests that they should’ve switched sides. What they should have done is have Ben realize that Snoke was evil and shows regret for his actions and turn to the light. While Rey feeling betrayed by Luke and the revelation of her family turns to the dark. This would not only be unexpected but would even rival Vader’s “I am your father” twist. And it would logically follow what we’ve seen of these two characters leading up to this point. Rather than just out of the blue Kylo turns angry and irrational and Rey is calm when Ben was calm and rational throughout the movie and Rey was full of anger and hate throughout this movie. You have them follow an arc that makes sense for their individual personalities. Ben is always calm, but he felt betrayed by those on the light, but he comes to realize that betrayal was an incorrect perception and he desperately wants to make amends to Luke and Leia and therefore he should rejoin what he knows in his heart is good. While Rey is full of passion and anger and as that builds up and she realizes that even the great Jedi Luke Skywalker is a disappointment and her family abandoned her, she knows the only person who can live up to her own expectations is herself and that self-centered attitude leads her to the dark side. That would make sense and we would have something to fight for, save Rey from herself or stop her.

Luke Skywalker and Kylo Ren. Originally, I thought they were gonna have Luke first send the Walkers’ turboblasts right back at them and use the force to bring down the transports, TIEs and the shuttle and then toy with his nephew like Vader did to him and leave Kylo Ren in defeat and his ruined fleet. In a way he did(minus the ruined fleet), but it took away any tension away by having Luke just be a force projection. He wasn't there. His moment with Leia and 3-PO doesn't feel genuine anymore. And the "duel" if you can call it that is just bad. Luke doesn't have his Green Lightsaber and their blades do not clash. A Jedi is all about defense. But a Jedi will also fight in self-defense to defend others. The argument that Luke did the "most Jedi thing ever" is bullshit. A Jedi will stand up for what's right and face the threat. Instead Luke pulled a practical joke and died pointlessly. I mean if he instead pulled the X-Wing out afterwords and told R2 "Come on R2, we've got work to do." I would forgive that and then we could've gotten a genuine master and apprentice relationship between Luke and Rey and a proper reunion between Luke and Leia. But no, he has to die of force exhaustion. If Palpatine, who uses the force like crack didn't die of force exhaustion, then why did Luke?

The duels in TROS are all equally terrible. Not once did I felt any excitement between Rey and Kylo's duels as I did with Finn and Kylo from TFA. Every Lightsaber duel is forgettable. The fight in Ren's Quarters is just bad. The fight on the Death Star Ruins is just terrible. It's like they both got high on deathsticks and could barley remember that they are both trained with a Lightsaber. Fighting in ruins surrounded by water SHOULD BE EXCITING! But they did everything in their power to make this duel boring, mediocre and lackluster. They act as if they are swinging bats, not Lightsabers. Lightsabers aren’t baseball bats, stop treating them like they are!  

The worst part is that THIS was the final Lightsaber duel of the Star Wars saga. A huge step down if compared to Obi Wan vs Anakin in Mustafar and Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker in the Emperor’s Throne Room, which unlike the previous prequel, had awesome shooting and use of the soundtrack, also being very lengthy.

Then we get the Luke and Leia flashback. The ONLY well choreographed fight scene is a fucking flashback.

Then Ben Solo and the Knights Of Ren. Again, we know the Knights are gonna die. If JJ Abrams bothered to characterize the Knights, then yes they might've had a chance, but like the Praetorian Guards, they exist for background and die pointlessly.

Of Course we don't get to see Palpatine duel wielding his twin Sith Lightsabers and fighting Rey and Ben, cause JJ mr I hate the Prequels can't give the fans any decent Lightsaber fights. Instead of Palpatine facing Rey and Ben in an epic climatic final battle, we get Palpatine killed by his own lightning.

The fights in TFA is adequate at best. TLJ is meaningless. TROS is absolutely terrible and forgettable.

John, Daisy and Adam deserved better choreography than they were given. There's no excuse for the lackluster duels we see in the ST, whether from Rey, Finn or Kylo.

One of the biggest complaints for the Prequels is Lightsaber fights is "they are too choreographed" and anyone who believes this is an idiot. What? You wanted Jedi in their prime to slap sticks like old people? You wanted them to fight like drunken hobos? One of the best things in the prequels was finally getting to see the Jedi finally go all out in some awesome lightsaber duels. The Jedi should be masters at Lightsaber combat. Fight choreography is a good thing. Look at the duels in the prequels. You can like or hate them but the duel between Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon and Maul was great. As was Obi-Wan vs Jango, Yoda vs Dooku and every duel in ROTS. Even The Clone Wars had great fight choreography. There was more planning and choreography in The Clone Wars S7E10 than in the whole sequel trilogy.

Seriously, why wasn't Nick Gillard contacted? He is the main reason why the Lightsaber duels in the prequels were so good. I don't care if too many Lightsabers were a big complaint amongst the Prequel haters, the duels were good. So instead of great fight scenes, you traded great fight choreography for mediocre baseball bat fights?

The choreography is not the issue alone. There is no emotion. In TFA. Starkiller Base was already set to blow, so the fight was pointless. In TLJ there is no emotion at stake for the Throne Room fight and the Resistance already got away prior to Luke's pointless death. Rey vs Kylo doesn’t even matter because the characters HAVE THE SAME GOAL. Both want to get to Exegol via a wayfinder before the duel and both get to Exegol with a wayfinder (or memory of it) at the end of the duel. While Kylo gets redeemed, the duel wasn’t necessary for this part as Leia just needed to talk to him and then give him the force induced memory. The only thing this proves is that Rey is not a Jedi because she gives into anger and blind rage to start the duel.

The duels in the prequels and originals had themes, emotion and meaning. Not just that but they looked damn impressive and was the spectacle that helped made Star Wars, Star Wars.

There isn't any good musical scores for any of the Lightsaber fights either or at the very least, nothing memorable. Nothing as iconic as Duel Of Fates, Battle Of Heroes and the Throne Room fight in ROTJ. I don't remember any themes in the Sequels and that's a problem.

And it doesn’t help that these duels have no meaningful deaths either. A bunch of faceless guards and Luke (through indirect means) are the only deaths via a duel. But this is what happens when you hide the mentor archetype on an island and have the hero and villain go at it for three films.

The Lightsaber duel is no longer an emotional spectacle and a grand duel to the death. It's a bunch of idiots high on deathsticks fighting pointlessly and fighting for absolutely nothing. Rey fights like a Sith but she's a Jedi. Ben fights like a Jedi but is leading the First Order? They don't matter anymore and the duels in the sequels are the most forgettable thing about them.

[adoredontour]

all the fics i read and loved this month, in order from longest to shortest!

For As Long As I Can Remember (It’s Been December) by green_feelings @greenfeelings 128k

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove 124k

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore 113k

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

nothing worsens, nothing grows by soldouthaz @soldouthaz 102k

and he sits there quietly with harry’s headphones in his ears while his eyes begin to close, totally unaware that he’s listening to the soundtrack of harry falling in love with him.

or, another roadtrip au featuring harry as the misunderstood hipster, louis as the bitter psych major, liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

& more under the cut!

Follow Your Arrow by bitter_leaf @bitter-leaf 78k

Harry was the golden child, blessed in every way; Niall was the charming miscreant, a bad boy; Liam was the future-son-in-law parents of daughters dreamt of, and Zayn was the kid parents wished was their son. But Louis, Harry thought, Louis was the special one.

It's senior year and everything is about to change.

somethin’ bout you by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 59k

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

The Recklessness in Water by LarryOn @larryonsimon 50k

Louis Tomlinson is miserable. He's stuck on a family vacation at a lake cabin in New Hampshire when all he wants to do is bemoan his sorry existence and wallow in his sweatpants. As if the humidity and mosquitos weren't bad enough, he becomes the singular target of an obnoxious lifeguard named Harry.

Missed Connection by littlelouishiccups @littlelouishiccups 39k

Soulmate AU where your soulmate’s first words to you are tattooed on your skin.

With a boring and generic soul mark like Hi, Harry is pessimistic he’ll ever find his soulmate or that he’ll realize it when he meets them. But he could always have it worse, like his new friend Louis who had a drunken one night stand with his soulmate a few years ago and woke up the next morning alone.

before we knew by falsegoodnight @risthebrave 39k

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?”

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles.

It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it.

He hates everything about his supposed soulmate.

He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples.

-

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

what’s mine is yours to make your own by soldouthaz @soldouthaz 39k

sometimes, the closest harry ever feels to home is louis. it's their shared hotel rooms on tour, their shoes toed off in the doorway next to each other, jackets hung on the same post.

it's everything he doesn't notice until it's been taken away from him.

And Touch Me Like You Never by runaway_train @runaway-train-works 35k

“Lets move back a bit yeah?” Harry clutches at his waist with a free hand and tugs him to move through the crowd until they are almost at the back of the group and settles them both beside the far wall. “There. That better?”

Louis looks up at him, as if he’s a tad dazed. “Uh, yeah, thanks. Can’t really see much from back here either though.”

Harry lifts a shoulder and grins at him, placing a hand on the wall behind Louis to pen him in. “We’ll just have to create our own fireworks then, won’t we?” He says it jokingly with a wink, and Louis laughs but he seems nervous. He must know that Harry is harmlessly flirting. Harry flirts with everyone after all, including Louis.

“Do you think this is a good idea Haz?” Louis asks quietly, almost too quietly in the clamour of the room, his head bowed as he scuffs his shoe on the carpet.

“Stop over thinking it Lou, it’s one kiss. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Or

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other's New Year's kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

last blues for bloody knuckles by creamcoffeelou @2ofusmp4

Styles was a name everyone knew. It had evolved into something of a fairy tale, a far away problem that normal people didn’t have to deal with. Louis never thought he’d find himself falling in love with him. When he finds himself pregnant with Harry’s child, he knows he has to leave the life, and Harry, behind. For her sake.

He never expected Harry to show back up on his doorstep five years later.

A mob au.

like it’s a game by soldouthaz @soldouthaz 32k

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

gathered on wings by Brooklyn_Babylon @twopoppies 32k

As Harry lay by Louis’ side, covered in sweat and come, he knew he should feel ugly, messy, ruined, like the life he’d left behind. But something about the way Louis looked at him, the way his eyes stared at him with want and awe, made Harry wonder if he’d ever feel this beautiful again.

Harry rolled his eyes at himself for his momentary romantic dreaminess. As good as this was, he knew it was nothing more than sex. He literally couldn’t afford to fall for just anyone, no matter how fit they were.

-----

What Harry Styles wanted was to be taken seriously as an artist. What he needed was a new sugar daddy to pave the way. Louis Tomlinson is an artist who isn’t what Harry is looking for. Somehow he still manages to turn Harry's world upside down.

let’s make a thing of cream and stars by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 24k

It doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis' wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

(Or: Louis is a Radio 1 DJ and Harry is a pop-star he interviews.)

Strong Enough by jacaranda_bloom @jacaranda-bloom 21k

The biggest obstacle is still in place, firmly ensconced as a roadblock, cemented in their path and preventing them from moving forward. The thing is, it’s not actually Harry that’s the problem. Harry, for all his faults, for whatever decisions he’s made to lead to him to where he is in his life right now, would move heaven and earth and all that’s in between to help Liam, to support him. No. It’s Louis. He’s the one that has to reach out. He’s the one that has to let go and get the fuck over himself. It’s been five years for Christ's sake. It’s time to move on and suck it up.

“So…” Liam starts, and Louis instantly knows where this is going. He’s actually glad that it’s Liam that drags the subject out from the shadows and into the world. Louis turns to face him, mirroring his position on the couch and nods, ready for him to continue. “Have you spoken to Harry recently?”

Five years after Vertigo goes on hiatus, the band comes back together for a benefit concert. Can Louis and Harry work through their complicated past, or are some wounds too deep to be healed?

you flower, you feast by stylinsoncity @aliensingucci 18k

He's King of the Underworld, but don't assume Louis has it all. He could stand for some excitement in his monotonous, eternal life and maybe, even.....a soulmate.

(Despite not having a soul.)

And along came "Harry".

The Orchards of Jessop by jaerie @jaerie 15k

At age 40, there isn’t much excitement in widower Louis Tomlinson’s life, but wasn’t that the reason he’d moved to Jessop Island in the first place? Back then he hadn’t thought retiring before he reached 30 and moving to the countryside would mean that he’d be doing it alone. Now, just to fill the space, he welcomes lodgers into his home that pass through working as temporary labourers at the orchards just up the road. They’ve all been young adults eager to start lives of their own after one last summer of freedom.

All of them have been much the same, coming and going from Louis’ house with just enough social interaction to keep the house from feeling so empty. But when a global pandemic shuts down the world, being quarantined with a quiet twenty year old who keeps to himself might turn out to be an awkward arrangement. By the time the restrictions have been lifted, their relationship has developed into something Louis isn’t quite ready to give up. With their twenty year age difference, Louis has to be prepared for the inevitable outcome when the reality shatters the private world they’ve been living in. He’s not sure he’ll be able to let it go.

if i had the chance, the things i would do to you by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 14k

Niall sighs. He leans forward, pushing his mug of tea carefully to the side, before bracing his elbows on the table, chin in his hands. It makes him look like some sort of bottle-blonde cherub. "You have quite the fanbase, Harry. I'm not denying that. And you've done a good job of popping out every once in a while in the past two years, just to make sure you're still talked about. But that's all you've done, and I'm not satisfied. I want more." He blinks at Harry. "Don't you want more?"

(Or: AU where Harry and Louis compete in the Lip Sync Battle)

One Way Road To Something Better by femstyles @femstyles 12k

Four years ago when Louis and Harry moved in together, Louis promised Anne that he’d take care of Harry no matter what. But things don’t always go as planned, and sometimes risky choices have to be made.

Inspired by Don't Let It Break Your Heart

baby look what you’ve done to me by ballsdeepinjesus 9k

The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. It’s a unisex lingerie catalogue. Lingerie specifically designed to allow for the existence of penises, apparently, judging from the bulging cocks covered in lace that he sees as he flips through the pages. His breath catches in his throat at the thought of a faceless Harry -- mysterious, odd Harry -- dressed up in his purchases, whatever they may be.

He thinks he needs a lie down, to be honest.

[louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.]

golden hearts (light their way back down) by fairytalelights @lookslikefairytale 4k

“..So, top or bottom?” Louis asks when Harry tunes back in. And... what? Harry knew he should have been paying more attention but he has no idea how in the hell Louis explaining camp rules to him could have led to discussing sexual preferences this quickly. He must have smiled and nodded at the wrong place one too many times.

or, the one where Harry’s first day as a summer camp counsellor doesn’t go quite as planned.

Still, Somehow, You’re Perfect Now  by FallingLikeThis @fallinglikethis 3k

Harry Styles is Captain of the footie team and all-around popular dude-bro-pal to the entire senior class. He’s kind to everyone from what Louis Tomlinson can tell, and kinder still when he thinks no one is looking. Of course, Louis has been looking. Ever since he transferred schools at the beginning of the year and noticed Harry for the first time, it’s been hard to look away.

All My Friends Are Here by abrighteryellow 

He is about to decline, though. If he has to sit through forced merriment, the least he can do is avoid participation at all costs. He is about to, but then the guy with the microphone is looking out into the crowd. He’s saying things, too — about rules and prizes and team names. At least, Louis assumes so. He can’t really hear him over the ringing in his ears.

“Alright, mate. I’ll play.”

A pub quiz has invaded Louis’s favorite dive. Fortunately, it comes with a charming host.

Front porch and one more kiss by Femstyles @femstyles <1k

A goodnight kiss on a front porch

BONUS: (rereads)

Unbelievers by isthatyoularry @isthatyoularry 136k

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

Close to Nowhere by angelichl @angelichl 34k

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

led by your beating heart by missandrogyny @missandrogyny 24k

Nick leans over. "Oh," he says, his voice smug. "Who is that?"

Harry just blinks at his phone. "Um," he manages to stammer out.

"Who's that, Harry?" Nick asks again, but this time he raises his eyebrows and smirks. Harry knows Nick is just teasing, and that he's not really looking for new Harry Styles gossip, but, um. He might have found something. Accidentally.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is another 'um'. He really needs to work on translating his thoughts into words. But then it probably wouldn't be any helpful right now, would it? His mind is as blank as a newly erased etch-a-sketch.

"Oh," Nick says again, this time gleefully, seemingly having picked up on Harry's distress. "Looks like we've got a story here! Are you going to call or delete her number?"

Her number. So Nick thinks it's a girl. Well, Harry can't blame him: 'Lou' is kind of an androgynous nickname. His stylist's name is Lou.

But this Lou, well, Louis, he's kind of, really, really not a girl. He's really pretty though, which, is something.

(Or: AU where Harry's in One Direction, Louis isn't, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete'.)

[blorbosexterminator]

Right so I don't have a fic BUT I do have plot points and headcanons

So yeah this is pretty much an Originals!AU where Sergio is the Original Vampire that his witch!brother made.

Martín has a sort of klaus-ish backstory where he was supposed to be just a regular fellow, really close friend of Andrés, who Andrés then had the idea to make a vampire alongside Sergio 1st to protect him from various things as well, but most importantly because he wanted to give Sergio a sort-of extension of himself to be there for him for ETERNITY. Martín was like 'sure buddy, you can experiment your dark magic on me. No problem'

In the klaus-ish fashion, Martín's mum turns out to have had an affair with a werewolf and Martín is biologically one so he gets to be the original hybrid

Ultimately, whether by remaining a witch and gaining imortality somehow or getting into vampirism as well, Andrés lives on with them (my favourite version of this so far is that Martín was the one who later trapped/manipulated Andrés into turning. Each has created the other in a way.)

All three of them get to be the original 'family' and just wreak havoks for centuries

And by that I mean Andrés and Martín creating chaos wherever they go and Sergio being like 'Guys please, guys please, gu–"

Some headcanons that could or could not fit with the story when/if it gets written.

My favourite headcanon, Martín would fuck every single poet/painter/dramtist etc that Andrés admires because he's pitiful and if he won't fuck Andrés, then he'll fuck his idols. Let him live with that. So Byron? Been there done that. Wilde? Martín's got a word or two to say about him. Lorca? Martín's favourite.

That being said, some centuries worth of pinning.

No idea what the other banda members are doing here, there's no plot, but Nairobi is a witch, Raquel is a vampire hunter, Tokyo is a vampire, and Denver's a (possible) hybrid. And I love the idea that Alicia is human but is wicked and cunning enough to have basically made up a team of supernaturals who she masterfully manipulates to her favor and basically has tons of power and leverage.

Sergio tried to do the whole 'I only eat animals, no humans' at first but Andrés metaphorically beat his ass because he didn't literally create immortality for his brother to be alive and healthy for him to be a weak-ass vampire, so Andrés is all 'eat your fucking human.' Sergio just stopped resisting after a while.

They are originally based in Sicily. To this day, Martín won't stop bitching about the unification of Italy.

Sergio is always watching Martín closely and up in his throat about exposing them because Martín, is well, Martín, to the extent that it escapes him that Andrés is actually the one whose all-over photographs and paintings and his inability to shut the fuck up is which stirs up the most conspiracy theories among the humans

Whenever Martín sees any sort of dance, he'll swear he's the one who invented it.

Every single new era, Andrés will spend it reminiscing over the decline of culture from the one before it. He'll also swear that every single piece of art or literature were somehow influenced by him one way or another. Michelangelo stole his notes if you ask him.

Sergio actually wastes a good chunk of his immortal life basically sitting and writing all human history he witnessed because he doesn't trust the humans with it + a parallel superatural one because he believes it needs documenting.

He's actually trying to create an infallible economic system, sort of a utopian thing and that's what he has been trying to do for like 700+ years, believing this is somehow the purpose of his life.

Sergio was also the one who turned Tokyo Carlisle Cullens-style and took her in. (playing with the idea that she's the first person he ever actually turns.)

Before Andrés took Sergio and Martín and ran away with them post-transition, he had had an infant son with a woman in that village (that he just completely left without looking back agsjdj) and that son will go on to hold Andrés' bloodline as a human/witch. Andrés will keep close track of the generations that will come out of him from afar.

Instead of New Orleans, it's Palermo. (somehow)

As vampires/immortals, Sergio believes his mission is to save humanity from itself since he's one step above it or something. Andrés actually, despite not admitting it, is the one who questions his own humanity the most and is always aware/pained by the disconnect between himself and the rest of humans that his immortality does nothing more but enforces. Martín, not a mere second after he was turned, looked down on all humans and just believed himself 100% some sort of a god.

Andrés falls in love with a human three times a week and every single time renacts Twilight while Martín stares at the camera like in the office. Martín will occasionaly eat them to just shut up his melodramatic shit.

Vampire Horse

The most vampires actually come through Sergio more than anyone else. Martín sees it as a gift not to be disparged with until the person is worthy™. It's Andrés' creation. His gift to him.

He will turn every single man he's been with that Andrés doesn't like though just to annoy him.

Andrés forces himself in Art restoration business because he 'remembers what they originally looked like' (he doesn't) and completely ruins everything he touches.

Due to the centuries and the wide range of places he lived in, Martín can now fully curse in about 30+ languages