#he's got that grown man with the trauma of a teen girl thing going

[stay-pos-cos]

"Sam makes more sense to be queer coded than Deam."

"Sam's definitely the gayer sibling"

*LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

Sam is actually trans, walk with me here.

Spends his whole life feeling as if his body is wrong, tainted, impure. Feels trapped by a component in his body that is not his own.

He has to ingest demon blood to achieve his full potential. It makes him more aggressive (testosterone methinks) *this one is mostly a joke*

He REPEATEDLY asks Dean to call him by his chosen name (Sam instead of Sammy)

Dean calls him bitch, while using son of a bitch regularly outside of that context. (this being a pre-transition hold over)

People constantly make fun of his long, well cared for hair.

He's looked at as less of a man's man constantly.

[timingmatters]

My villain origin story is that there’s legitimate issues with the teen wolf’s movie’s writing (apart from a race issue by the movie revolving around Japanese lore and no Japanese character) yet everyone shuts it down by saying “you are just a stiles fanboy shut up” (which btw i think someone purposely misgendered me???? But idc) or “the writing of the show was never top tier anyways” bc like

1) idc for dylan that much tbh???? Of course i wanted stiles but the movie could have been fine without him. He is however still a core character. They fucked up all his dynamics and it felt more like a punishment to his character for dylan not coming back rather than good writing. Because why did scott, his brother, the MAIN relationship of this show, never even addressed him????? Why are we expected to believe he let lydia go even tho she still loves him?????? How does he not know derek and his child when his dad still lives there, he just never visits his dad????? Thats fucking ridiculous ???? They could have just said lydia told him to focus on work and not come back in order to avoid getting his possessed again and not relive his biggest trauma. And that would have been good enough??? And have eli know him because is such bs that stiles doesn’t visit his father???? And have scott simply saying “i just talked to stiles on the phone. Told him we were good. Didn’t want to worry him” like BARE MIN THEY DIDNT NEED DYLAN THERE. But fucking up ALL his dynamics and relationships when he is a core character in order also kinda fucks up all the other characters and is BS???

2) the og show was never top tier writing, but if the potential was always at a 50% then the movie has to have that or more. Not less. And it gave less. It was a mess so obviously ppl will have critics of it regardless of Dylan’s character being there or not.

3) character wise no one benefitted from this movie except scott and allison, and not even because scott WHO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER barely touched on any other dynamic that wasn’t allison. Which is ridiculous.

4) whole thing is on Japanese lore on a character that ON THE SHOW comes from a concentration camp and created by kira’s mom, yet kira is never mentioned, and there’s absolutely no Japanese character or kitsune being relevant to the story. Which is bs??? Like Liam’s gf is there for 2 seconds and not relevant whatsoever.

5) which brings me to, liam and mason??? Why are they there??? Both of them and liam’s gf are literally so irrelevant???? They are just there to say they brought them back????????? Which is a shame bc so much could have been done???????

6) malia is literally stuck in life and that wasn’t even a plot????? She wears the exact same outfits from high school and in a relationship with a grown man who has known her since she was a minor and he wasn’t (side eye) and her character never goes through any sort of arc to realize she wants more???????????? Her character was already done dirty in s6 and this even more????? Girl came to the world in s3 after being stuck as an animal and never grew out of HS and thats!??? Never addressed??????

7) derek’s arc was shit??? All he did pass down his family trauma (seeing them burn) to his son. And why is eli’s happy ending that he got adopted by scott and allison??? WHERE IS HIS MOTHER??? HIS AUNT CORA????? Allison just came back to the world she should barely get in a relationship when mentally she doesn’t know life outside of HER JUNIOR YEAR OF HS. LET ALONE BE MOTHER TO A HIGH SCHOOLER????!!!?????

I could literally keep going????? It feels like character wise this movie was a set back and a fuck up of all characters and all dynamics rather than something to push the story forward. So yes. It was AWFUL writing. Regardless if Dylan was there or not. They could have done amazing without dylan still but they didn’t. They focused more only of the allison x scott ship and punishing dylan by fucking up his character.

All that said the acting (of most) is still really good!! So it makes sense some people enjoyed it. There’s angst, fave nostalgic characters coming back, and good chemistry/acting between them. But for people (like me) that wanted something for the characters it wasn’t good. Its stupid to try shutting down valid criticism by saying “you are just a dylan fanboy” because that also implies ignoring the whole issue with kira and racism too.

Reminds me of a post i saw here saying “the teen wolf fandom kinda deserved better but they have also always been super racist so maybe they don’t” the day the movie came out and shdjjdjd sad bc i want better but is kinda true😭 y’all either completely ignoring the real life issue with arden and the show taking japan culture while simultaneously fucking up their asian characters to benefit the white ones, or completely ignore the real issues with writing and say “fuck scott” to put stiles in a pedestal when in reality lil brown scott is as essential to the franchise as stiles. BOTH are the core of the show. And you can keep the core without the actor by at least addressing him, not trying to push him out like the movie intended. Aaaah i have so much shit to say and complain about but whatever. Shit is not canon to me either ways. Just gonna hope for better for wolf pack bc it looks promising. Altho kinda hesitating about wanting to give jeff davis my coins tbh.

[tea-leaf-book-reviews]

Neon Gods - Katee Robert

I found Neon Gods at Barnes and Noble while on vacation in August of 2024, and while the cover intrigued me, the title really caught my eye. Neon Gods. Immediately, my brain went to something along the lines of Tokyo, New York, or literally anywhere else that has bright lights and big city vibes. Maybe that’s because I grew up as a teen in the era where neon lighting along your car was the new big thing to do (Thanks, Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift). But either way… it was not what I expected.

Spoilers ahead, mateys.

So, from the beginning of the book, you come to realize that these Gods are not the original Gods of the Pantheon. (Oh yeah. I should start there. The Neon Gods, they’re the Greek deities, only they’re… not?) No, these are their descendants, and each takes the title of the previous through marriage and wheeling or dealing. Demeter moved up into her position through power, and her children, including Persephone, came along for the ride, mostly unwilling passengers to their mother’s games. *checking off the ‘parental trauma I can personally relate to’ box* Well, these games led to Persephone being pushed at Zeus and her fleeing for her life from him… and right into Hades’s arms.

Now, one thing to note, without giving away too much here… the Neon Gods rule Olympus as a big city… but all of Hades’s side is protected from the extravagance and fake pomp of the upper class side. Crossing the border without consent from either side is tantamount to an act of war. That’s condensing it down.

Hades puts Persephone under his protection from both her mother and Zeus, and Persephone learns all about Hades’s lifestyle, pretending to be his. This ploy leads into her exploring her sexuality and kinks in a healthy way *checks off another box there, the ‘no 50 shades of bullcrap’ box* and she grows to truly love him. She loves him enough, and his people, to try and go back at the end of the story to make a deal to keep him and his people out of an all out war, which Zeus is threatening in order to get her back.

…*glances at the boxes* Not really a dirtbag ex, but close enough. *checks box*

Hades, who also loves Persephone *Ah, the ‘bad boy knight in shining armor’ box, I adore that one in particular… checks that off* goes off to kill Zeus and get revenge for his own family’s deaths and keep her out of Zeus’s clutches.

He succeeds. You don’t think he’ll make it… but he does. And it’s glorious. And you just want to see this bad guy FALL but you get this satisfaction that it looks like he did it to himself. Perfection in the pages. *applause*

And it’s happily ever after. I love when the bad boy and the good girl gone bad get their happily ever after. *happy sigh*

I’m probably missing a lot in this, but I also read it over a week ago and have been dealing with a lot of the process that comes with getting your book published. Suffice to say, I have now made my happy and thorough review. And I won’t lie, I’d read more about these two. Eagerly. You could feed it to me with a spoon and I would eat it up. So there’s that.

Oh, and the spice? It was spicy. It was spicy enough that I broke my composure a few times while reading it, and I am from a generation that got unfettered internet access as a kid because it was so new, and that access included fanfic labeled as citrus fruits that would make a grown man blush.

So yeah… now I need more from this pairing because I want to see if they have kids and whatnot, ok? I need it desperately. But yeah. It was amazing and you should read it.

[hms-tardimpala]

I love Cobra Kai, it's my Cringey Bad Show With Moments Of Brillance™.

(long-ass gushing/rant and spoilers ahead)

Cobra Kai requires constant suspension of disbelief, it doesn't have the best pacing, half the humor is horrendous, the character writing is often stupid as shit, it's such a dumb show!

It also has insanely satisfying setup-payoffs, good dramatic irony, it's at its funniest when it's self-aware and laughing of itself, which it does gladly, and it goes to the trouble of giving you gray characters who go through multi-seasons arcs to better themselves (or the opposite). It's such a fun show!

And very importantly in today's media landscape, it pulls off being the necromantic resurrection of a beloved 80s franchise. It could easily have kept the black-and-white naive, squeaky-clean tone of the Karate Kid movies, but it said "Fuck it" from the first episode. It respects its KK roots but expands on them, adds depth and layers it didn't have to. Does it always do it well? Hell no. But seriously, this show didn't need to make that effort. With its premise, it had no right to be that good.

Obviously the show leans heavily on nostalgia, but it manages not to be a total nostalgia fest and brings some interesting things to the table.

Now, having just finished S5 (a lame season, but which had moments that made me cheer and curse out loud), I want to say how much I love how dark CK can get.

Like, it starts easy. A bullied kid, some teenagers slugging it karate-style at a school dance, a tournament to tell who's the winner. Then the brawls get less and less funny. There's slut-shaming. More kids get involved, more get hurt. A teenager gets his spine broken in his high school staircase. This is more the real world than KK, so you've got kids going to juvie for their actions, others who are scarred and traumatized for life.

Then the show goes further. Adults are involved in this now. They beat each other up directly and by proxy through children. There's breaking and entering, destruction of homes, arson. An adult sexually harasses a teenage girl in a precarious living situation. Vietnam veterans' trauma and domestic violence get discussed. There's physical and psychological abuse and manipulation left and right, between adults, between teens, from adults to kids. A grown man destroys another's hard-earned mental health because he feels lonely. There's assault and attempted murder. Kids breaking each other's bones in public settings.

And season 5! The violence keeps escalating. It's the only language some of these kids know by now. And the adults who taught them are just as traumatized and wrapped up in it and they can't stop either. There's arson again, people's lives are getting ruined by what started as a petty rivalry. A teenager is forced to injure herself to prove her loyalty by a group of adults who won't let her leave. A man teaches a child a karate strike that can break a ribcage and suffocate an oponent, and the only reason it doesn't happen is the child in question isn't strong enough yet, but he tries. You've got a sword fight and a man left to bleed out in a pool. A group of four men trying to beat one to death because they've been ordered to. A guy gets his finger cut off. Constant child endangerement and serious injuries that are ignored, and the psychological toll of all that isn't even acknowledged by the characters most of the time.

And of course all ends well, wounds heal and nobody dies, and it's not even gory, but still, it gave me the chills. As someone who enjoys on-screen violence immensely, it's very rare that I wish said violence would stop. That show is unbelievable, ridiculously over-dramatic, cheesy, and also too fucking real sometimes. Like a guy who's always laughing and making jokes, and one day he has too many drinks and lets slip something that reveals how much trauma he's suppressing.

I love this show and these characters. Out of this huge ensemble cast, there's only one character I haven't changed my mind on from the beginning and gone from hating or loving them to the opposite. (and it has great ships for all tastes!!)

Anyway, season 5 was awfully bad. And I enjoyed it. I'm done talking about the karate soap opera on this tumblr for a while, I think.

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

dings a rinky triangle right next to your head Hi guys, it's fic time! I actually put this up last night but I'm telling you right now. It's had a few hours to cool, like a pie out of the oven, but made of words. This chapter will actually contain mentions of ssssself harm, so viewer beware, i guess.

His world stays dark, even though he knows he’s opened his eyes. He tries to understand that, brain feeling foggy. He must be somewhere dark. He’s laying on his back. He can hear muffled voices, maybe, over him? He’s under something. He lays there, listening, but he’s too tired to even try to understand, and the voices are too muffled to be anything recognizable. Maybe, if he really strains, he can hear a familiar voice, or someone who sounds like his baby sister, but the only word he manages to understand is “invisible.”

He falls back into a restless sleep.

The next time he’s able to shake exhaustion from his mind, he tries to sit up. It’s easier than he thought it might be. This time, more aware of himself, his body feeling less destroyed, he actually tries to understand where he is. It feels like he’s laying in dirt, or under dirt, in a mountain of it, the usual soft scent of freshly turned earth overpowering. It still hurts to move, but he forces himself to, clawing upwards, through the dirt, until he reaches a wooden plank, which he goes through, like he’s not even there.

It’s a box, containing something foul smelling. A coffin… he’s inside a coffin. Juno buried him below a pine box, in someone else’s grave. The inside of it stinks, like decay and chemicals, and he doesn’t stop to take in whoever this used to be, just pushes up, and out, until he emerges from the ground like a zombie, like Night of the Living Dead. The ground around him is grown over with grass, and he grabs at it, using it as much as he can, as he crawls from someone’s grave, until finally, he pulls himself free from the earth, and lays there, taking breaths he doesn’t need, to clear the smell of the body from his nose. His suit and trench coat are filthy, but that barely registers, at this point. There are more important things to worry about, like getting home- He sits up, catches sight of the gravestone.

Emily Deetz Devoted Wife, Beloved Mother “Whom Most We Love Reach First the Golden Gate, Leaving Us Desolate”

He stares at the etching on the stone, and feels something in his mind snap, like a rubber band stretched too tight. He’s seeing the world through a fisheye lens, his vision distorted, blurry, as he tries to understand exactly what just happened. Juno made him crawl out of his own mother’s grave. The body he still reeks of was Emily’s. He sits there, a long time, not feeling much of anything, only able to stare, replaying that memory, over and over, and the only thing that makes him move is the sudden realization of what grass over a grave could mean. Emily’s been buried long enough for it to grow. How long has it been since he’s been home? He does his best to push this fun new trauma down, as far as it will go. He’s got to get back to his family. What’s left of it, he thinks, humorlessly.

He stands, off balance, and wipes some of the dust and dirt from his face, and finds that, annoyingly, his glamour has slipped, and it refuses to reapply. Maybe he’s too drained, though he’s not sure how he’s going to get back home, clearly looking as deranged as he must. He’s too exhausted to teleport, and he wanders around the cemetery, avoiding the few people there as much as he can, as the sun dips low, and vanishes. At least by that point he can force his teeth and ears to resemble normal human’s. The moss and eyes, well, he’s too worn down to care. So he’ll look like an extra grubby hobo, he thinks. That’ll have to be his new look, for now.

He reaches a gate, and leans on it, and then falls through it, and blinks, confused. He’s never been intangible by accident, before. Usually it takes concentration to make his solid form incorporeal. He stands, straightens out his suit collar, adjusts his sleeves, fiddles with his tie, as he thinks. There’s got to be someone around here who can call his family for him, or at the very least, a cab. The cemetery is growing darker, and his attention is drawn to the far off flicker of candles. He feels a pull, and he approaches, taking in what he sees.

It’s a group of five teenagers with an Ouija board. Predictable. He snorts, and expects that sound to alert the kids to his presence, but they don’t even turn to see what the noise could be. He steps closer, until he’s fully illuminated by the glowing ring of candles around them, and he tries to be friendly. “Hey, just a normal livin’ adult human man, in a cemetery, at night, approachin’ a group of children. You kids wanna be helpful an’ call me a cab?” BJ tries, but he’s ignored. The kids don’t even look in his direction. He remembers being a snot nosed teen, but this is a bit much. His blood boils, and he leans down, claps his hands in one of the teen’s faces, and she responds to that, but not in the way he wants. “I think I just felt a cold spot!” she tells her friends. “In front of my face, just now!” “Calm down with that,” a red haired girl shoots her a look. “We haven’t even started yet, and you’re already having a spiritual experience. Yeah, right.” “No you guys, really!”

“Lookit me,” he interrupts them. The children continue to squabble. His gut clenches. “Look at me!” he demands, storming to the center of the circle, and kicking at their stupid board game. His boot goes through it. They don’t react. Why would they, he realizes, sinking to sit on top of the board.

He’s invisible.

He tries to recall everything Juno had said, as he’d struggled to keep conscious, while impaled. Loneliness. Invisibility, being at the command of the living. Being… forgotten. No, no, NO- His impending freak out is stymied when he feels hands go through him, and he shoots up, hovering over the board game, as the teens below him react. “Oh my god, total cold spot! Should we like, make a note of that?” “Come on, come on, let’s start, while there’s still someone or something here!”

The five teens lean forward, each placing fingers on the planchette. “Is there anyone here?” one of them asks.

Betelgeuse stares, and feels a tug, again, clearly coming from the board. He knows some demons use these things to play with their food, before they eat, so he gives it a go, and floats over the game, head down, feet in the air, like he’s diving underwater. Maybe these kids can actually help him. He pushes the planchette with one finger, to land on “Yes.”

“Did you do that?” one boy asks, and the group devolves into the kids blaming each other, and he rakes his hands down his face, and tries to move the planchette, again, but they’re too busy squabbling, they’re not touching it anymore. Fuck, this is frustrating. He’s never wanted a group of teenagers to drop dead as badly as he does right now. Finally, they put their hands back on the pointer, and ask another question. “Are you friendly?”

This time, he pushes the planchette to spell, instead. “S-U-R-E.” “That doesn’t instill a lot of confidence,” the redhead from before mutters. “What do you want?” He nudges the pointer along, painstakingly slow. “H-O-M-E.” “You want to go home?” “YES.”

“For fuck sake, yes,” he groans, and then perks as one asks, “How can we help you?” Well… he’s not actually sure. He squints, trying and failing to recall everything Juno had said. How is he supposed to work with this curse thing, when he doesn’t know the rules? He digs his hands in his pockets, frustrated, and then blinks, because there’s what feels like a business card there, one that he doesn’t remember. He pulls the paper from his pocket, studies it.

BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE

He remembers the way Juno had chanted his name, before he’d lost consciousness. That must be it, then. His name is his burden.

“M-Y-N-A-M-E-T-H-R-E-E-T-I-M-E-S”

“Oh, wait, wait, guys, I’ve heard of this,” one of the girls gasps. “Demonic entities, they have you do things in threes, to mock the trinity, you know, father, son, and holy ghost. It’s a demon thing! We might be talking to a non-human spirit!” “That means we can’t trust it, right?” A boy asks, and they all look uneasy. He steers the planchette around the board, desperate. “W-A-N-N-A-H-O-M-E-P-L-Z.” The redhead wrinkles her nose. “Do demons use chat speak?” she asks, glancing around the group.

“O-H-M-Y-G-O-D-U-K-I-D-S-A-R-E-K-I-L-L-I-N-M-E.”

“I’m not afraid. Tell us your name, spirit!” a boy calls, and he gives the planchette a push, intent on spelling it. The pointer doesn’t move. “Come the fuck on!” he growls, but it doesn’t matter how much strength he puts into the action, he can’t move the dinky plastic piece to spell out his name.

“Spirit? You there?”

“F-U-C-K,” he spells out, in a rage, because this is pointless, he’s too exhausted and sore to think of how to make this work, and he just wants to go home, and see what’s left of his family. He growls again, and then snuffs all the candles in the circle, all at once, causing the kids to scream, and scramble, and that, at least, forces a rictus grin from him. He’s always enjoyed the sounds of terror. He leaves the children tripping over themselves in the dark, and decides he’s going to have to make his way home the old fashioned way- floating. At least he doesn’t have to walk, he supposes, tucking his legs under himself, and he floats invisibly out of the cemetery, and down the sidewalk, trying to focus on how good it will be to see Lydia and Charles, and not on how they won’t see him, and especially not on how every part of him, physically, emotionally, mentally, is hurting. read the rest over here~ If you're totally lost, I find starting at the beginning of something often makes the middle of something make better sense. So you can start at the very beginning right HERE

[kittybellestark]

Falling Apart At The Seams

Part 5 of 5

Read on AO3

Read Part 4

this is v dialogue heavy and we officially see Peter again lol

uh this has been great to write and seeing y’alls reactions has been cool

Trigger warning: discussions of past rape, self-blaming and insecurities

What happened with Mary was kept out of the news.

Tony was grateful for it. Had the news gotten what had happened to him- Tony really didn’t want to think of it. But he was grateful. It was only the Avengers he needed to deal with. Just the Avengers and Peter. His son.

He had a son. A whole full grown child that he was forced to create. 

At least he already knew Peter. It’s not like he was some stranger. They already had something of a relationship. This wasn’t the first meeting, they weren’t starting from scratch. Well okay, they might be starting over but it’s not like Tony and Peter are complete strangers. 

Tony had heard that Peter was already aware of what had happened. It should have been Tony who told Peter what happened, but he was glad that May did it first. With Mary’s confession in front of Peter and then May going to talk to Tony there was just too much going through Peter’s head that May needed to say something. Leaving him waiting for an explanation when he already knew half the story would have only caused Peter more harm.

It was selfish of Tony to be grateful that he didn’t need to explain anything to Peter, not anything in depth. He knew they’d need to talk about things eventually, but explaining why he was Peter father wasn’t something Tony stomach at the moment. They can talk about their relations without bringing up the why. For now, at least.

For a week Tony didn’t leave him room. He needed a week to get all his thoughts together, in a place no one other than Pepper or Rhodey would bother him, in a somewhat safe place. The week let him look at pictures of Peter, watching footage of the two of them in the lab before everything. It let Tony think through things, how he should approach Peter and what he should say. The time in his room was necessary. It gave him the smallest feeling of being safe and that was a win.

But Tony didn’t feel all that safe.

Tony knew Pepper was right when they spoke last week. But knowing that she’s right doesn’t stop him from feeling everything he’s done has been wrong. Logically it made sense, that Tony wasn’t at fault for any of it. Had the roles been changed, had it been Rhodey instead of Tony, Tony knew he would be saying the same things as Pepper. Unfortunately, it’s just too personal. Not that Rhodey isn’t personal, but there’s a difference between it happening to your friend and yourself. Logic doesn’t work when you’re brain forgets what logic is. 

He wasn’t sure how to connect with Peter anymore. It seemed that once Peter received the label ‘son,’ Tony wasn’t able to go about things like he used to. The alarm bells in his head would start going off when he’d classify Peter as his child and panic would start to rise. It wasn’t fair to Peter, that Tony was hiding in his room trying to settle himself into everything, but it wouldn’t have been very fair for Peter to watch Tony break into panic attacks either.

The best part of the week, was that Tony didn’t really see Mary in Peter. Not in the pictures he had or in the interactions they had in the lab. Sure, there were certain parts of Peter that resembled Mary, the shape of his lips, the curve of his nose, even his eyebrows. There was a lot more Tony in the way Peter looked though. Peter’s jaw, eyes, smile and hair were all Tony.  No doubt about it. So if Tony just focused on the parts of his child that was solely his, then it shouldn’t hurt so much.

“Fri, could you ask Peter down to the lab?” Tony’s voice shook, uncertain if that was the right move, but if entered the lab right after Peter then he could make sure that he is closer to the door in case he needed to leave.

“Are you sure, Boss?”

“Yeah. Tell him I’ll be down right after him.”

Tony waited a few minutes before making his way down to the lab. He could feel his heart pounding erratically. This was... a lot. It’s a lot. Tony just needs to face the truth and not hurt Peter too badly in the process. It’d be better if Peter didn’t get hurt at all but it’s already far too late for that.

He entered the lab, and saw Peter sitting at his own work bench, fiddling with a coiled cable. The teen look exhausted, the positive energy that seemed to follow Peter everywhere was gone. He looked pale and looked as closed off as he used too when they first met.

“Do you call me Mr. Stark because your name used to be Tony?”

That wasn’t how Tony wanted to start the conversation. It wasn’t even something he considered until he entered the lab. This wasn’t even the type of conversation Tony wanted them to have. At least it was a step in the right direction. Talking is better than no talking. 

“Oh, um- not at first. Y’know before I met you, I’d only refer to you as Tony Stark, because, obviously. Then calling you Mr. Stark was out of respect, but then getting to know you it felt like it’d be weird to call you Tony because I’ve associated a lot of bad things with that name. I guess I didn’t want to associate those things with you, but it’s a little too late for that, right?”

“You’re allowed to hate me. I knew I had a child, I didn’t know it was you, but I knew there was a kid out there, that was mine. And I ignored you, the idea of a kid because I was too hurt to keep you out of an unsafe situation. So you’re allowed to hate me for that.”

“Wait. You didn’t know that I was your kid?”

Peter put down the cable and Tony sat down on the nearest workbench. The two stayed a few work benches away from each other, enough room to have the much needed separation, yet not far enough to be alone. DUM-E moved from his docking station to Tony’s side, resting it’s arm across his legs. The electronics in the room seemed to hum louder now that there was no other noise to distract from conversation, and the lab just didn’t feel all that safe.

“No, I didn’t know, not until right before you did. Do you know why I ever approached you?” There was a beat of silence before Tony continued. “Of course not, I never told you, not really. Obviously you know I approached you because of Spider-Man, but honestly I hadn’t really paid attention much to your web slinging antics before hand. Then one day this video of you went viral, right? Not you catching a bus or getting attacked by a cat in a tree, not even you getting completely toppled over by that one dog. It was this video of you as Spidey, holding this little girl in your arms. She was crying, and you kept her body covered with this blanket. You held her tight against you, and you started talking about how your babysitter used to hurt you the same way hers was. There were camera’s on you, people videoing this horribly personal moment, and you either didn’t notice, or you didn’t care. You told that little girl that your babysitter raped you, and comforted her, and let her know that good babysitters would never touch a child or anyone like that. Peter you were fourteen at the time, and I hadn’t told anyone what happened to me. That video going viral helped me tell Pepper. She was the only one who knew what happened until I told Rhodey this year. 

“Because of you, I was able to tell someone who loved me a whole lot what had happened to me. I felt I had a debt to repay, so I found out who was behind the mask, and it happened to be you, an actual child. I wanted to make sure you were safe and that despite what happened to you with your babysitter, that you’d have a good life going forward and that if you continued being Spider-Man that you would have the best equipment and help on hand. 

“I never intended to offer you an internship, or for you to become apart of what I consider to be my family. I genuinely did not know that you were I abandoned. I spent years hating myself, because the whole thing was my fault and then I couldn’t even bring myself to find out who my kid is, where they are, and then take them out of Mary’s care. Every time I tried to bring myself to do it, I couldn’t.

“Because of you Peter, I was able to open up about what happened to me. And because of you, I was able to start healing. It’s shitty of me to have only started to come to terms with everything that happened when you were 14, then start healing when you were 15. I’ve had your whole life to deal with it, and I didn’t. Me being able to heal should have never been put onto you, or knowing you. I should have put in the work and I should have found out who you were when she released me and taken custody of you.”

That was a lot more emotions then Tony was expecting to give all in one go. A lot more truth than he thought he’d tell Peter right away. But, if he was going to do this, try and be someone in Peter’s life that Peter can continue to go to, then this heart-to-heart, this raw honesty is necessary. Peter might hate Tony forever, or choose to not have a relationship with him, but at least they can talk things through.

“I was really angry at you,” Peter started, “when you got back to the tower and Mary was there. I was really angry. She admitted everything, right then and there, probably because I happened to be there. I blamed you for the years of trauma I was caused that I don’t even remember anymore, and every bad thing that happened in my life. My first reaction was to blame you, because suddenly Mary is saying you’re my father, and I don’t really think a DNA test is necessary to prove that. I look like you, I act a bit like you too, the team always joked about it. This was just confirmation. I blamed you though, for everything. I thought it meant you knew exactly who I was to you and that you lied. And I thought that you knew what happened to me before and you chose to stay away. It’s not like you didn’t know you had a kid right? So I thought, ‘he knew he’s my dad so why didn’t he save me.’ Then May talked to me. She reminded me of my own experiences. I had shut down after Skip- uh, I shut down after that. I was eight years old, and I wouldn’t get out from underneath my bed unless I had too. I refused to go to school, I iced out all of my friends, but I still had my aunt and uncle. I had a support system, and therapy and I got to see my rapist go to jail. 

“We’re both guys, Mr. Stark. May told me you didn’t tell anyone, because you didn’t think they’d believe you. I don’t tell anyone either, y’know. Yeah, so I was raped by another man, and was also a child, and you were an adult raped by a woman, but people still have that idea that we wanted it, that we could have fought them off. It’s messed up. I dealt with my trauma about it for years, and I had people to go to. You didn’t. I don’t think you could be a father to me, like that, I don’t know if anyone could be if they were in your shoes. It’s a lot to go through, especially when you know that Mary’s goal in all that was me. My existence was her motivation in raping you. I don’t know if anyone could be a good parent, knowing that someone raped them with the intent of having a child. Mary is a horrible person, and she’s done bad things to me and worse things to you, but she’s still my mother, I can’t ever erase that. She wanted me so badly, that she was willing to kidnap and rape you for months on end. Her motivation was me, Mr. Stark. Had she not of been a horrible person who wanted to have a kid she wouldn’t have done what she did to you. But she’s a bad person, who wanted me to exist, and I shouldn’t blame you for trying your best to deal with things on your own because of Mary.”

“Kid, it sounds like you’re trying to blame yourself for something,” Tony sighed. “You didn’t exist then. She wanted a baby, obviously that’s the source of her motivation that we know, but that’s not on you. Mary is at fault here, no one else. Don’t shoulder the blame for this.”

Tony felt dizzy. This was a lot more than he was expecting. And he was expecting a lot. Crying, yelling, hatred, being blamed. But he didn’t account for who Peter is. Of course Peter would make the comparisons between the trauma they’ve both had and take on the blame himself. Peter has always been the type of person to feel guilty over something he had no control over, just like Tony. It shouldn’t have surprised Tony that Peter would have thought about what Mary did and what Tony went through so much that Peter would take on all the blame, And yet here they are, Peter finding a way to put the blame on himself and Mary.

“I know that it’s not my fault, Mr. Stark. Rape can’t be blamed on anyone except the rapist. But I was still the motivation behind it. Mary, my mom, raped you for me to exist. If she didn’t want a kid she wouldn’t have raped you. If I wasn’t put into witness protection she wouldn’t have kidnapped you with the intent to rape you, again, for another child. It’s not my fault, but I’m still the reason behind it.”

Peter’s shoulders shook, and Tony could see his eyes were red and glassy as Peter tried not to cry. Tony’s heart hurt for the kid, his kid, his son. Peter was Tony’s son, and he was here and hurting. He wasn’t even hurting because Tony abandoned him, but because he blamed himself. Peter was too good, far too good for Tony, and far too good to have come from a place of terror.

“I don’t blame you, Peter. I didn’t blame you when I didn’t know it was you either. When I didn’t try to find you it wasn’t because I thought it was your fault. It’s because the entire thing felt like mine, and I didn’t think I could be a good father, especially if you looked like Mary. You don’t look like her. You look like me. I thought I hate hate my own kid because of what happened, but I don’t hate you, Pete. I’m really grateful that you’re my son. Out of all the kids in the world that could have been mine, I’m lucky it’s you. I don’t know if I could ever be what you want or expect me to be, but I can do my best.”

“Mr. Stark- I don’t understand?”

“I don’t know what type of relationship you want, whether that means cutting me off completely or keep the whole mentor-mentee thing, or if you want the father figure thing. Whatever you want I’m okay with it. And I don’t want you to think that I’m going to take you away from May. She raised you and I won’t tear you two apart. Kid, this also isn’t me trying to make you feel like you have to what you think I want.”

DUM-E whirred leaving Tony to grab a stress ball and bringing it over to Peter. This made Peter smile, taking the stress ball and tossing it for DUM-E to fetch. The robot beeped chasing the ball and heading back to Peter. Tony stayed silent, letting Peter play with DUM-E and think. 

While this was a lot for Tony, it was surely a lot more for Peter. Their situation couldn’t be considered anything less than traumatic. It’s not like Peter hasn’t had enough trauma in his life. This was selfish of Tony, he should have considered what Peter has gone through. Now Tony has put pressure on Peter about a possible relationship. Of course Peter would say he wants some sort of relationship with Tony, he hates disappointing people. Peter wouldn’t do anything if he thought it’d upset someone. Tony should have been responsible, he should have just taken himself out of the equation. Just because Tony cared for Peter doesn’t mean he has any of the right to just stomp right in and claim himself as  a dad.

Tony was horribly selfish for thinking he had any claim in Peter’s life. And even more so for putting a decision on Peter that Tony should be making. Everything is being put onto Peter like there wasn’t already enough there. Tony is already failing as a father. Already, like the last 15 years of Peter’s life hasn’t already been a complete failure on Tony’s part. He’ll never be good, not for Peter, he never has and never would.

“Sorry, Pete, this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t- this wasn’t- I’m sorry.”

Tony stood up, sniffing as he brushed off his legs. He moved to leave the lab, leave Peter, quit making mistakes. For 15 years Tony has failed his son- Peter’s whole life- 16 years he’s failed himself and his child. This will give Peter time. Time to recognize that Tony was being selfish. Everything was wrong and Tony should not be entitled to Peter’s life and emotions.

Peter looked confused, his held tilting to the right, eyebrows furrowed, and a small pout. For just a moment Tony saw a flash of Mary on Peter’s face before it passed. Tony couldn’t help flinching and taking a step back, before dropping his head forward. He flinched at his own son. Tony flinched, he saw Mary when he looked at Peter. There was no way to be a good father if he couldn’t separate the person who hurt him with the person who came from that.

“You can’t just leave, Mr. Stark. I’m not something that you can just lose interest in and come back when you feel like it. I’m your kid now, if you don’t want me in your life just say it. I’d rather you just say ‘Peter you remind me too much of your mother and I don’t think I can look at you,’ instead of stringing me along.”

“I’m not trying to do that. I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

“I don’t care. You’re the adult. You can’t say whether we’re going to be estranged or close is on me then walk out. That’s not how it works, and I don’t even know how this works. But you don’t get to walk out on me. We’re family, and you don’t walk out on family.”

“I don’t know what to do, kid. I’m not trying to walk out on you, just give you time. Everything has been overwhelming, and I just gave you a lot to consider.”

“No,” Peter stood up, still staying on his side of the room, but moving a little closer to Tony, “I’ve had a week to think when you secluded yourself. A whole week where I had to deal with this alone. Richard died, he was my dad and he died trying to get me out of a bad home. Ben died, he was my uncle and the closest thing I’ve had to a dad for as long as I can remember, he died protecting me. Then I’m told you’re actually my dad, and my mother didn’t try killing you. Instead I have to deal with the fact that I’m born from rape, that my mom is a rapist. You’ve left me alone for a week to deal with this, we’re now at the part where we get to decide what happens. And it’s not you walking out on me.”

Tony sighed and sat back down on the workbench. He ran one hand over his face before tucking his hands under his legs. 

“No walking out,” Tony agreed.

“We’re in this together. I don’t know if I can go through this alone.” Peter’s voice cracked and his face became redder as he obviously tried not to cry.

“Okay,” Tony nodded, his voice choked full of emotions, “okay. Together then. We’ll make it through this, Pete, we’ll be okay.”

Maybe the words weren’t all that believable to Tony, he can’t know how things turn out. He’s been proved wrong a hundred times over. But this time it feels right. Like he wasn’t taking the first steps into a bad decision. This time Tony has Peter and even May in his life now. He may not be great at being what Peter needs, he’s got so much trauma to work through and now a kid. 

Tony has people in his corner this time, and maybe now that’ll make things different. He has Peter and May and Pepper and Rhodey. They’ll help him get through this. His family will help him. Tony has a family. 

They’ll be okay.

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[cloveroctobers]

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

[tarithenurse]

Nightingale - 19

Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Hatake Kakashi &/x Fem!OC Contents: Yeah...this gets darker with some violence, a torture-ish situation, angst, sadness. A/N: Gotten to 347 of Shippuuden, btw. What a ride! As usual, ASK or REBLOG for tag!

Ch. 19

Her restraints haven't been altered, so Uguisu sits straight in the chair – the only display of freedom being a leg daintily slung over the other, allowing a foot to tap along in the air to an unheard melody as if she's bored. There is no fear in her face, just mild curiosity as she regards the towering man who has turned to her now. Gloved fingers move nimbly to release the gag.

"How are you feeling, Minami-kun?"

If she's surprised at the question and the (relatively) kind voice, she doesn't show it. "Much better, thank you. I don't believe I've slept this well since I was a teen."

"I suppose not..." Ibiki concedes, "but how come you managed to tonight? I would expect someone with your claimed experiences would have nightmares."

"Normally, yes. I guess I was too exhausted even to dream." The interrogator has begun circling the chair where she sits so her gaze lands on Kakashi instead.

"It can be a relief to finally tell the truth."

She nods. "Might also have helped that establishing the seal burned through all my chakra."

"The seal...yes." Pausing, he lets a hand brush against her shoulder, and while Kakashi holds his breath in anticipation, the woman merely tenses. "Do you feel...different with the seal?"

Uguisu purses her lips slightly as if in deep thought. "Well, apart from the physical effect...I'm not sure. It might be psychological that I feel free...like a looming shadow has been chased away...it probably is...but it's the best metaphor."

"You mentioned a physical effect?"

"It throbs, hurts. Not the worst I've ever felt but enough to be annoying." It’s impossible to tell she’s experiencing any discomfort when looking at her.

"Last night, you told us how the Curse Mark would be triggered if you used too much of your chakra or kekkei genkai." She nods at his words. "Is that the same now?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Why not?"

The little bit Kakashi knows about the woman, he can easily imagine that she's biting a sarcastic comment back rather than the calm reply she gives: "It seemed unwise to do anything without proper approval first...and I'm afraid to try."

"Explain."

"...which part?"

"The latter," Ibiki prompts less patiently but adds, "if you'd be so kind."

"When the mark activates, it's as if Orochimaru takes over mind and body and I...don't...want that."

Kakashi fears for one short moment that the woman will be asked to continue explaining, to retell in gruelling details what exactly she has suffered through at the hands of Konoha's enemy, and maybe that was Ibiki's plan as he bends over her to scrutinize her eyes and face because to the careful observer there's a subtle change in his stance.

He signals Inoichi who brings out a backpack together with a bundle containing the gear she’d carried last night.

“Is this yours?” The man with the long ponytail lifts the backpack.

“It is.”

“What is in it?” He places it on the end of the table that’s free.

A shrug. “I suppose that depends if anything has been added or removed since last I packed it.” Undoubtedly, Uguisu doesn’t trust the men very much. “There should be some tools, weapons, and clothing of mine. You’d also find a book from the Academy’s Library, a necklace, an alarm clock, someone’s favourite cup...washed, I might add...ehm, an also-washed sock, a photograph, and a pretty stone.”

Every item mentioned is procured from the depths of the luggage and lined up on the table.

Morino takes over again: “You have stolen these things, true?”

“Is it still considered stealing if the intention from the beginning is to return them?”

“Then why take them at all?”

A grim smile dances across the woman’s face. “The note explained why I borrowed the book. The rest? Proof that I could’ve killed but chose not to. I’m not the enemy.”

A smile is tugging at Kakashi’s lips behind the black fabric of the collar as he sees the interrogator momentarily at a loss for words – the skills he has honed over the years are telling him the explanation is true or at least not detectable as a lie.

"Then tell me," he recovers, "what you can do with your skill. Why was it so important to Orochimaru?"

"Because it can force people to go against their very nature." Only silence answers her. "One order from me, worded carefully, and the person will have no choice but to follow it to their best of their abilities. They will want to. Like an obsession or addiction nagging their mind until they give in to it because it's the only thing that matters to them. Orochimaru sought to use it to gain access to restricted places or during interrogations if a prisoner refused to tell him what he wanted. At the time, it wasn't necessary for the sake of carrying out murders but I'm certain he considered that as an option too," she sighs, "and probably more."

"Show us."

The onlookers were already silent but the hush that falls in the room makes it feel as though all air has been sucked away – a feeling that's intensified when Uguisu stares at the man with open mouth.

"Show? Are you...you don't mean that," she gasps, "or are...you volunteering?"

"Hm," Kakashi knows something's brewing when the interrogator begins to smile, "not me, no. However I'd recommend you demonstrate your skill on someone who has stated their devotion to you." Yeah, that makes sense. "Kakashi."

Even before Ibiki has finished saying his name, the jōnin in question has pushed to his feet. If Asuma had been there, he’d probably look at the white-haired friend in a way which would mean something along the lines of "told you so". The only Sarutobi, the old Hokage, shifts in his seat but doesn't object, allowing the addition to the people in the arena.

"Order him to follow the first order I give him."

Just do it. Kakashi nods to the woman, hoping to banish the fear from the doe-like eyes as she shifts her attention between the two men. I got nothing to hide.

“I must be able to sign,” she protests.

Without hesitation, the tall man in charge cuts her bonds and even allows her time to rub some life into hands and fingers before he motions towards the test-bunny. Is she hesitating? Just as Kakashi begins to wonder, Uguisu’s hands flies through a series of signs.

"Kakashi..."

Everything changes. The surroundings seem to fade away along with the people in it – even the shadow that once was Ibiki is unable to take form or speak audibly as it leans closer to Uguisu. Uguisu. She's washed out too, but her voice rings clear, somehow guiding him as she speaks again and he just knows that anything she says is important. Follow the order Ibiki gives me. It's a strange thing to say, but if that's what she wants then he'll happily do it and as he nods, the man in question begins to stand out clearer in the blurred world.

"Strangle her until she passes out."

A part of Kakashi tries to object, but his body moves on its own accord until he's leaning over her because this is what she wanted. She told him to follow the order. So he does.

The skin is soft and smooth under his fingers, the little hairs in the neck obediently bend under the pressure and it tickles a memory of having touched the blue strands before but in a different way. Above his hands the usually pretty face is distorted: mouth open, eyes watering and huge. She's afraid? But she wanted me to do this. It doesn't make sense, really, but he clings on to the one thing he knows for sure. Do as told. Her eyes roll backwards and the whites contrast the flushed skin. Almost there. Almost done as you wanted. Something wet lands on her face. Drops of something unimportant. She's resisting a bit now, but it's easy to avoid the instinctual flailing. Almost. And then she stops. The haze of the world lifts as Kakashi's hands fall to his sides and he realizes what he has done.

It takes four seconds to lower her onto the floor.

It takes five before he can hear the heartbeat, sluggish and faint.

It feels like an infinity before she gasps and coughs, each intake of breath shuddering through her body. It nearly breaks his heart to feel Uguisu stiffen as he pulls her into his lap.

"Truth..." Ibiki’s standing with his arms crossed, glaring down at the woman and smiling lazily as he takes in how she reacts even in her ally's arms. "Gotta admit I'm impressed it actually worked...maybe you're not completely useless after all."

"You wanna...see...usefulness?" she wheezes, pushing off of Kakashi and onto her feet. She's shaking, whether from the underlying trauma or the near death experience itself is unclear.

The man who ordered the attack strolls around the arena. "You didn't even try to fight him."

"Why should I...an order cannot be annulled..." Slender fingers tentatively stroke the angry marks left behind on her throat, making Kakashi’s gut tighten.

"Aï...The only thing I've seen so far is a scared woman crying and snivelling."

Something ignites within Kakashi almost as if he had been the target of the insult. But if I butt in...no...He knows the senior well enough to understand that this is part of the tactic, one move of many in an elaborate game of chess between him and the blue-haired girl.

Maybe she knows it too, at least she doesn't hide a tiny smile. "Fight back." Now her smile has grown into a full grin. "Perhaps a duel? Unless it's beneath you to fight a snivelling, scared girl like me? Hmm?"

"No involvement of others."

"Hm," she agrees.

Getting the hint, her white-haired friend retreats to his seat from before, only now realizing that his mask is wet.

Below, Uguisu is equipping the gear she normally wears and meticulously checks the contents of each pouch and sheath. Her hands are shaking. The sound of her breathing still has a slight creaking to it. Maybe for that reason, the scarred man is allowing her to take her time. He wants to see how capable she is.

Ibiki squares off at one side of the sandy floor. "The opponent must yield."

Again, she hums in agreement, taking her own place opposite of him. "Before we start...you might want to have a look in the book," she sweetly offers, "first page."

"Hah! Such a low trick won't work."

[lieutenantcactus]

Here's a girl who, in my opinion, has probably one of the most interesting stories of my ocs

The tragedy in young Madison's life started when she was only a few months old and both her biological parents sadly past away in a car accident. Now in the care of her older brother Paris, who was just shy of 19 at the time, Maddie was raised as best as the young man could handle, and boy! Could he not handle it. Especially when it came to her shock diagnosis of Meningococcal meningitis. Suddenly, she was whisked away into intensive care, where she remained for weeks. She was touch and go for a while, blood vessel damage becoming so great that she ended up with both her legs amputated below the knee. And, of course, poor Paris was stuck with the medical bills, on top of...well everything else. The full details of what Paris did to keep him and his sister afloat is best saved for his separate ref, but, safe to say, it wasn't pretty. It was around this time that one Mr Joseph Collard came into their lives. A bouncer at the, uh, "club" Paris worked at, Joseph had grown a real soft spot for the young man, which grew into a soft spot for little Maddie once he met her. Which eventually led to him officially adopting her when she was around three years old. Of course, Paris was still in her life, as the three moved across the country to start a new life far away from the old. But not everything was perfect. You have to understand, witnessing and going through the things Maddie did in the first five years of her life...It was traumatising. And the thing with that childhood trauma: she doesn't remember any of it. It just affected her in a major way. This led to her being what teachers would call "a problem child". Acting out, unable to control her emotions properly, prone to meltdowns. Plus, being over attached to her brother and father. And not liking when things came between them. Or PEOPLE for that matter. She reacted VERY poorly to her brother in law when they first met. It had always been just her, Paris and Papa. And, if she had her five year old way, it would remain just them, thank you very much. But, unfortunately, her brother HAD to go and fall head over heels for the man. Honestly, she could do without seeing the way Nick would kiss him goodnight when dropping him off from a date. Then came the horrible news: Paris was moving in with him. Maddie cried and begged, trying to offer alternatives; like Nick moving in with them! But, Paris calmly explained how impossible that would be, what with Nick having a daughter and their apartment only having two bedrooms. Paris even light-heartedly added that this would mean that Maddie would finally have her own room. But of course, this caused the girl to throw a tantrum and lock herself in said room. She didn't talk much to Paris for a while, though she did eventually come out her room. Paris, of course, was heart broken, but figured (more like hoped) that she'd come around eventually. Joseph... was stuck in the middle. Happy for his best friend, but unsure of what to do about his daughter. Like any misguided dad, his mind eventually turned to one solution: a pet! Maybe a pet could knock the blues out of Maddie. So, he took her to the shelter and told her "pick out anyone you want! Well, uh....so long as our apartment complex approves of em". They ended up coming home that day with a little cream calico scruff ball with mucky eyes and a scratchy little yowl of a voice, which Maddie named Bubblegum (Joseph could only assume this was due to Maddie's near obsession with the candy). Bubblegum did help some, but ultimately, it was time who was the biggest healer, and she did eventually open back up to her brother, though she would remain cold to Nick for some time to come. It was around the time that they got the news that Paris and Nick were getting married (gross) that a little white cat rushed into their apartment, causing a middle aged man to rush after her and crash right into Joseph, the man haphazardly catching him in a dip. The moment they locked eyes, Maddie had but one thought: "Oh god, it's happening again". Robin, however, proved himself a lot better than Nick. Well, for starters, he only lived across the hall from them, so he wouldn't be dragging her father TOO far away from her. And he also had a young son, Phoenix, who was pretty cool! So maybe, just maybe...she'd give this one her blessing...begrudgingly... She would grow to be happy she did.. As a young adult, Maddie has chilled out A LOT. She loves her fathers and her little brother (though, sometimes she acts too cool for them). She's buried the hatchet with her brother in law, just in time to welcome her nephew into the family (plus she loves to tease Poppy by calling herself her "step aunt"). Then came the day her fathers brought sixteen year old Natalie home. Both agreeing that they were too old to handle a younger child, they had had their hearts set on adopting an older teen and, well, they fell in love with Natalie just about as fast as they fell in love with each other. Mads is fiercely protective of her little sister. Perhaps her brother rubbed off on her in that aspect... 

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled). 

To what extent would go to save someone else's life?

This prompt was always going to be difficult, but hey, I did manage to come up with an interesting solution to it... or, at least, that's why I'd like to think. I originally planned on having Naomi for "I Should Have Been Better" (as I told Doc multiple times, "what better character for it than Naomi?", but the guy is having the last laugh about this one now, that's for sure). Some soul out there will have recognized the title from somewhere and understood what we're heading for because, yes, this entire story was inspired by the fact I wanted to use this semi-obscure reference as a title. You'll see what I mean later. Anyway, this fic was pretty cool to write, even if, again, I suffer from writing too much build-up because I want to explore a universe I'm probably never going to touch ever again. This is starting to grow into a recurring issue with me, it'd seem. Oh well, if it inspires someone's work, then I'm all good with my penchant for copious amounts of worldbuilding.

Also, Alyssa and Naomi's relationship is wonderful and it's a shame I haven't written it before, what the fuck me.

---------

Androzani

Summary: When faced with the prospect of her newest companion's potential death, Naomi is ready to put everything on the line... even her life.

Fandom: Trauma Center/Team (fantasy AU)

Wordcount: 3K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version available here.

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Her shoulders bear the weight of her losses – friends she had to leave behind, people whose death she couldn’t prevent, companions that never were – yet Naomi has kept moving, trying to shove her past behind her anywhere she walks, as if going through purgatory for eternity.

 Her reputation has preceded her for decades, by now: the woman dressed in black with silver hair like the pale moonlight, going from place to place. Nobody knows of her true intent, whether she sides with good or evil, with life or death until they discover she is a healer who was banished from her native region due to some sort of catastrophic event long forgotten by history.

How ironic is that someone whose roots got cut off by a guillotine is still alive and roaming this world when, surely, her supposed people have all died from illness, injury or natural causes by now: it has, after all, been a thousand years since the “Corpse Whisperer” got forced into exile over the supposed curse she bore, the curse which spread an illness she still doesn’t have an answer to over towns and villages until it just disappeared with her.

 On her travels, she met a lot of people, some of whom travelled with her for a time, some whom she barely got to know.

There was Nathan, a boy who had escaped from a doomsday cult. He was an eager companion, swearing he’d follow her until the end of the world would have she decided so, because she was the first friend he had ever gotten – he died saving her, rather than the other way around, when a spear plunged inside his chest and only came out when his blood had stopped flowing and his skin had turned to clay. She closed his eyes, buried him and marked the grave with white lilac, never to look back again.

There was Ivan, a man barely younger than her supposed age, who wanted to understand her and help her save people with his benevolent magic and overwhelmingly positive intentions. He fought hard against near-death situations, some where she had decided it was better to expect death than survival, but his optimism kept these people alive. She had tot leave him behind after he contracted a lethal disease and he couldn’t keep with her, leaving behind the bitter taste of failure, loneliness and uncertainty. She never went back to where their ways parted, afraid to know the inevitable answer as to his whereabouts.

There was Cassandra, a middle-aged woman with a stern face and an inexorable will. Despite all the hardships she had faced in her life, she had always stood back up, without even displaying any sort of pain. She had grown a reputation for her ruthless methods, being ostracized, and travelled with her so she could mend her ways and heal who she could with the apothecary knowledge she had been blessed with during her youth. She drank her own poison so she wouldn’t have to surrender in the face of certain defeat, plunging herself in an eternal sleep, while Naomi could only watch, wrists and ankles keeping her from acting, until these dissolved and she could avenge her fallen friend. Cassandra’s breath never went out, so Naomi made her a chamber hidden in a deep, dense forest in a hope that, someday, she’d find the antidote Cassandra had spilled on the ground.

There was Eglantine, a girl barely in her teens, who went to follow her because her parents had abandoned her and everybody else thought she was cursed because of her unusually pale skin, hair and eyes, thinking she was a stillborn animated by a malevolent spirit. Beneath her skin was an incredible potency, which she didn’t dare use until she needed to. Her short life ended in a tragic, senseless sacrifice when she rushed into battle and blocked an enemy’s way so Naomi could run away and “get out alive”, as she had screamed before taking an entire group of thieves with her to a certain death.  

There have been a lot of them, over the centuries, but none of them have been immortals like her. None of them have healing magic as powerful as hers, none of them can endure so much. All of them have promised her to stay with her until she could settle down again, none of them could ever hold these promises, and it’s fine to her: she’s used to involuntarily broken promises. She’s used to the feeble nature of humans, of the uncursed ones.

 She has grown more and more hesitant to accept new companions, over time. She tried to be cold towards them, to use her sombre reputation as a deterring agent – but some people are just in need of misery’s company, even her, and so they stick around until illness, injury, death, love or opportunity split them apart and the cycle continues. Naomi is used to it. She doesn’t even give her name to people anymore: it’s easier for both sides if these companions call them by whatever nickname the rumours about her convey.

The “Corpse Whisperer” is only one facet of her fictional identity, one of her many names and perhaps the least flattering. Over the years, she has accumulated them: “Cursed One”, “Black Healer”, “Reaping Doctor”, “Nameless Widow”, “Lady of the Last Sight”… Everywhere she’s gone, they’ve adopted a new name for her, to the point the name she was given at birth is nothing but lost to the sands of times, like numerous books she’s read, like the names of her fallen companions. So much things pass by your eyes when time doesn’t affect you anymore. Such is her curse, after all.

 Even with time, the wounds left by her losses never truly scar. Every death in which she’s had some amount of responsibility weight on her shoulders, even if as time passes, she starts to forget more and more the individuality of her former partners. And, the heavier the luggage gets, the darker she tries to be, the more reclusive she behaves, so someone else doesn’t have to get hurt while following her on her eternal quest to heal others and, maybe, just maybe, finally find the way to end her own life.

Still, despite how much she has cried and screamed already, death continues to affect her when she can see blood on her hands or a cold limb at her feet. Even recently, she got bit in the throat by the death of two parents who had crossed her ways in unfortunate circumstances and she came too late to save them. As they let out their last breath, she met eyes with a curious little girl’s green irises full of life, and that’s when she knew – Naomi would be traveling with someone else once more.

 Neither Alyssa nor she had a choice in the matter. The poor girl didn’t have any remaining relatives and the place where she lived was infested by werewolves, the same species that had killed her parents. Naomi couldn’t leave someone as young and frail as a ten-year-old girl suffer in the claws of the wolves on two legs that couldn’t control their animalistic urges. It quickly became her mission to redeem herself from letting two new persons die in front of her eyes by bringing Alyssa to a safe haven where she could have a normal life until Naomi herself found a solution to the lycanthropic problem.

However, and despite having guessed what happened, despite all of her tears and all of her pain, Alyssa has always told Naomi she didn’t hold anything against her, that she did her best when she tried to use her magic to bring back to life the recently deceased. Her smile, which at first was timid and more of a façade, has grown into an earnest one. Every time she sees it, it warms Naomi’s heart, but it reminds her head to remain cool and not to get attached because it’ll end badly for the both of them.

 For a while, it was fine to have Alyssa around. They mostly went from village to village, from city to city, and Naomi made sure her protégée wasn’t in contact with the filth and contagion of the sick. Healed bone after healed bone, cured sickness after cured sickness, Naomi found herself enjoying the light-hearted chatters of Alyssa, going from refusing to answer her various questions on the world and herself to replying to them with more and more details.

It was already too late, by that point, but Naomi still liked to believe Alyssa would one day leave on her own terms and her wounds just heal for once. After all, they were only travelling together because Alyssa needed a new home to grow up in and have a chance at a normal life after the atrocious had happened.

However, that delusion has come to an end, as she’s now forced to make the biggest choice in her life, one that could cost her everything. At long last, the taste of death and the melody of the epilogue come back to her, making her feel more alive than ever, but at what price?

 Alyssa has been poisoned with what she can only assume to have been a powerful, yet not instantly deadly substance. She missed catching its name when someone told her what was happening to Alyssa, what was causing her the rashes and the fever that keeps going up and up, but it reminds her of something – animantha toxaemia. A beautiful flower whose pollen has killed its fair share of humans, with no real cure known aside from a taxing healing spell, one forbidden not by choice, but by need.

Their meeting with the flower was unfortunate. Alyssa and she were on the run from some unforeseen adversaries and, once they had successfully lost them in the forest, Alyssa got curious about the deep purple beauty of the flower’s petals. Alyssa touched it when she inspected it before Naomi could remove the girl’s fingers from the stem and petals. Both are running away from death. Quite ironic, coming from the woman who was once nicknamed “the Silver Reaper”, but…  what matters isn’t her fate, it’s Alyssa’s.

 Naomi has managed to get them both out of the forest, but unfortunately, she’s starting to feel the paralysis effects of the flower in her legs, and that’s when she realizes she must have been in contact with a lethal dose of the flower’s poison. One thing the curse hasn’t protected her from is illnesses of this kind, and judging by the fever poor Alyssa has fallen victim to, she doesn’t count on staying alive much longer. She’d have expected herself to be pleasantly surprised by the prospect of finally passing away, since she has seen so much already, and roaming the Earth for about four centuries is starting to take a toll on her spirit – but she has never felt so alive, because danger is a powerful catalyser, and she has a life to save.

A final life, judging by what she needs to pay for what she’s about to do, but a worthy price to pay and perhaps the life that has mattered the most to her throughout her long, elongated life. She’s torn about having to leave Alyssa to her own devices, but they’re in a village, now, and Naomi hopes the inhabitants that took enough pity on them to lend them the small house they’re currently in will help her. She’s still young, barely fourteen, and she doesn’t want Alyssa to struggle again once she’s gone.

 There’s no time to question it, however. The toxaemia has four stages, the last being an inexorable rise of internal temperature until the affected person inevitably dies. However, she can’t let that happen, and she has to act quick, because getting the both of them back to a safer haven has taken so long that Alyssa is at least in the third stage and, again, judging from her temperature, is crossing into the last before… before the inevitable happens.

There are numerous times where she wanted to give her life to save another, but never got to do it because the other person died before her eyes before she ever could or because they did it first, leaving her alone again, most of them eternally unaware of her immortality. Now, however, she’s the one who has to do it, because Alyssa isn’t a mage like her, wasn’t born with the ability to cast spells, and she’s someone who deserves to live life at its fullest, unlike her.

Naomi has made her decision the moment she touched the flower and nothing is going to make her go back on her decision – aside from the idea to leave Alyssa alone, but the girl has made some friends in the village due to how kind she is, so at least, Naomi has some hope. If her companions have shown her something, it’s that there still are good people in this world, no matter how many atrocities she’s seen.

 Almost three centuries ago, she learnt spells that are now forbidden. One of them, whose original scroll has been burnt in an attempt to silence its deadly power, is the antidote to animantha poisoning. There may have been another way, hidden away in a forgotten script or still being conceived by some hermit mage or witch living in remote woods, but she doesn’t have the time to question it. All she can do, now, is apply the formula as she’s learnt it, hoping her spell memory has exceeded human standards. The curse should have at least given her that, if she was to become the Codex of Magic.

Her last name – the “Codex of Magic”, the true purpose of the curse inflicted on her so many years ago. How ironic, considering she’s lent all of the scripts she’s copied again in the bag she always carries with her, that she dies by the hands of one of the spells she was meant to preserve for prosperity. Even if she survives, she won’t be able to use the spell on herself afterwards in a timely manner, so she hopes Alyssa carries on her will. That’s all she wants.

 Ignoring the pain in her limbs and her own rising fever, Naomi gathers her powers in both palms of her hands, summoning all of her healing prowess for one last show. The spell calls for specific incantations, which flow out of her mouth as if she was born to say them at some point – something about summoning the power of hope itself, serving as its vessel for a miracle, giving up one’s life for the sake of another. The spell was named “Hope of the Unending Agape” for a reason, after all, and Naomi doesn’t have anything else to lose.

The amount and intensity of the mana running through her entire body is searing her from the inside as her hands carefully cradle Alyssa on the bed of the house, cupping the girl’s face as the mage hopes it will work as intended. Alyssa must survive, it’s all that matters, she doesn’t care about the price of it all, just give this girl her life back, don’t take her away from the mortal realm so soon, not when she has so much to see and discover, so much to live and smile at.

Hope can take her soul, she doesn’t care, but that flower won’t take away Alyssa’s, she swears on her life. One has lived for too long and the other is too young to pass away.

 This spell feels like inflicting agony on oneself, so her vision is starting to give in and so do most of her sense following it. She’s burning on the inside, either from the spell or from the toxaemia, but there’s no way for her to distinguish anymore. What she knows, however, is that Alyssa’s skin is cooling down and her tremors are fading away. This is more than a relief: she’ll survive. Alyssa will see another day and have the life she deserves, sunny and beautiful.

Little by little, frame by frame, Alyssa’s complexion regains its colour, the red stains on her cheeks disappearing. The sweat that was pearling on her skin fades away. Her frowned feature relax and give way to a peaceful expression, as if she had been sleeping all along. It’s a beautiful sight, really.

 However, the same can’t be said for Naomi, as a huff of platinum smoke escapes from her lips and she collapses in pain. She has exhausted every cell of her being, or so it feels like, and it’s up to the curse to see if she’s worth saving – she doubts it, because a curse is a curse, and being a benefactor for its host would go against its own nature.

It very much feels like she’s dying, at long last. Her vision is mostly black now, safe for a couple blurry shapes, and most of her senses have already given in: her hearing has been replaced with a sort of slightly disturbed silence, she can’t tell what she’s touching and the only taste in her mouth is that of copper and iron. All she can feel are the tears going down her cheeks and the relief that, at least, someone is getting out of this alive.

Despite technically meeting her end at the hands of a toxic flower, Naomi doesn’t see it this way: she views her demise as the ultimate act to save a life and, as such, doesn’t have the shadow of a regret. Sure, there may have been things she’d have wished to do before she’d die, and her survival is a very unlikely gambit on the curse acting up; but they don’t matter compare to the reasons why she did such a thing, why she took on someone’s deadly pain onto herself.

 The only thing she’ll be missing is the warmth of Alyssa’s voice…

  When Alyssa wakes up from something that was between a dream and a nightmare, which she can’t remember aside from the magnificent gaze of a solar goddess looking to her eyes, she quickly realizes what she saw in her sleep wasn’t a figment of her imagination – and immediately knows, upon touching long and slender lukewarm hands, she has a task to accomplish to pay back a life-changing favour.

[pollylynn]

Title: Narc WC: 800

“Mind if I cut in?”  — Kate Beckett, Smells Like Teen Spirit (6 x 15)

Someone has spiked the punch. It’s an entirely ludicrous cliché, but it’s true. The first sign is a pair of stumblers who not only disrupt their slow dance, the girl’s heel lands square in the middle of his foot, and no man’s footwear in the known universe is proof against that. 

The stumblers have her whipping around to scan the gym, eyes narrowed. Next come the gigglers. Everyone, everywhere with a cut-crystal punch cup—because this is Faircroft Prep, where seventeen-year-olds warrant busting out the Waterford—is giggling over said punch cup. 

She strikes out for the table near the enormous, rose be-decked portrait of Madison. He hobbles along in her wake. The fumes burn their eyes while they’re still a good distance away, and when he peers down into the gargantuan bowl, the alcohol-to-punch ratio is so high that the liquid inside is the palest of pinks. 

“It doesn’t smell like cheap vodka,” he offers. The comment is noncommittal. He’s not sure what she is or is not going to want to do about this, but it’s probably no laughing matter. “Of course it wouldn’t be cheap. This is Faircroft Prep, after all.” He takes another sniff of the air “Oh, wait, though. Maybe it’s not vodka at all. Maybe it’s Everclear.”

“It’s Everclear,”  she says as she gives him a sidelong, pitying look. The back of his neck goes hot. He suddenly feels like one of the early versions of little Ricky Rodgers suddenly colliding with a very late model Rebel Bex. Rebel Bex has almost certainly spiked a punch bowl or two in her day. Rebel Bex has probably passed around a flask with some of the cool young teachers. Little Ricky Rodgers got a three-day hangover from three sips of a Snow Creek Berry Bartles and Jaymes Wine Cooler. 

“Aren’t there chaperones?” She rises up on her toes in a vain attempt to see over the heads of the giggling, stumbling, punch-swilling crowd. Neither question nor the move is all that Rebel Bexian. 

He’s relieved. Little Ricky Rodgers has no idea what to even say to Rebel Bex, assuming he’d be able to say anything at all. He wouldn’t be all that sad to see her in the rear view mirror but then he feels guilty for that. 

He feels guilty for being relieved that Rebel Bex `has all but left the building, because it’s clear—or kind of clear, anyway—that she has an unexpected opportunity here tonight. It’s clear, he thinks, that she’d like to be Rebel Bex for this stretch of hours. She would like to travel back in time and give the motorcycle-riding, tight black leather–wearing  version of herself a chance at a couple of slow dances, and maybe a few sips of that punch, which is very pale pink indeed. 

“Principal Dunan,” he says, taking up his supporting role as she ought to for better or worse, et cetera. “I could go get him.” 

They share a look. Principal Dunan is the obvious solution. He’s the right solution, because place is chock full of hormones and teenage trauma, and  punch that is mostly one-hundred-ninety-proof grain alcohol is a really terrible addition to that mix. So she does what she has to do. They do what they have to do. 

She moves to take up a post near the punch bowl. Along the way, she snatches cups from unsuspecting hands until there’s an untidy spread crowding right up to the punch bowl itself, which none may approach. She has to raise her voice once—once only—to emphasize that the punch well has run dry. 

He pauses for just a moment to watch her wrangle tipsy teenagers like she was born to it—although who would want to be born to such an avocation is a mystery. He pauses, and bleeding edge Richard Castle feels no more worthy to be in the orbit of present-day Detective Beckett than little Ricky Rodgers caught in the gravitational pull of Rebel Bex. 

He pauses, then he goes. Principal Dunan, as predicted, has the punch bowl and cups wheeled away. He has phone calls in and paperwork for the discipline of the punch spiker and her accomplices; he has the situation under control, and it’s well past time they bowed ou to this mess. 

She startles a little when he comes up behind her. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and feels the warmth on the back of her neck. 

“Sometimes it sucks being the grown up.” She presses her face into his shoulder. 

“Sometimes.” He kisses her temple. “But grown-ups have better booze. We have better booze at home.” 

“We do have better booze.” She affirms. “Let’s go home.”  

A/N: Rebel Bex and Cop Bex—the war between them is not a thing

images via homeofthenutty

[aloisofmissouri]

A Journal Entry

July 20th, 2021

11:44pm

Trigger Warning:

 Sexual Assault, Self Harm,Mental Health, physical health, and occasional swears.

Dear Reader,

I’m only eighteen but I have experienced a lot, and so have many other teens I know. I know at least four of my classmates have been raped at some point in their life. And who knows what others may have been through and I never knew. 

But I’m not writing to share their story, unless they decide that they want their story told. As of now, I am writing to share my story. 

So, let's start with my earliest memory.

My earliest memory is watching Elmo and Little Bear from my crib in the living room when I was probably a toddler. I don’t remember much, other than enjoying the cartoons. It was happy and innocent. One of the few childhood memories I can look back on and smile. 

I was really young when I was first raped. First raped, you caught that part, right? Yeah, I wasn’t raped just once, but multiple times by one man. The man I had grown up calling my father. The man on my birth certificate. I’m not exactly how old I was when it started, but if I had to guess, I was probably in the first or  second grade when it went past the occasional groping and lewd comments. 

Near the end of third grade, my mother decided to take me and my sibling to live with our grandmother. But that didn’t last long.

We ended up moving back in with our mother and abusive father when I was in fifth grade. I didn’t want to but my father manipulated me into doing so. He threatened to place a restraining order on my grandmother when I wanted to stay with her. 

Things were miserable and the abuse continued. But luckily I was able to go back to my grandmother by sixth grade. But I still had to deal with what happened.

I believe my grandmother meant well, but she use to tell me not to let people know what had happened to me. She said that no one would want to be with someone who was raped because a lot of people view them as used or damaged goods basically. 

My grandmother was a bit emotionally damaging, though I know she more than likely didn’t know that she was being so. I have reason to believe that she has dementia and possibly a personality disorder. 

I remember her saying that I shouldn’t wear plaid or spotted clothing because it would make me look bigger than the broad side of a barn. She also told me to stay away from bright colors because they would have the same effect. I refused to stay away from plaid though, I kept that jacket from middle school until junior year when I could no longer zip it. But it took me a long time to wear bright colors, and it is still hard. I also have a hard time feeling comfortable in my own skin, and not just because of the occasional comment about my weight from my grandmother, but also because of the abuse I had dealt with from my father. I spent the majority of school always wearing jeans, jackets, and dark clothing. I didn’t feel comfortable wearing shorts. And I’m still getting used to wearing them. 

I had to go to court in middle school. Someone had apparently turned my father in for what he had done to me (I was living with my grandmother again by then) and we still do not know who reported them. I wish I could thank whoever turned him in. 

Sadly, they only gave him three years despite the evidence. And he was only going to have to serve one and a half years because of the amount of time spent in a jail cell waiting for court that kept getting rescheduled. He died of stage four lung cancer though before he was half way through his time.

My freshman year I finally realised I had anxiety and that there was something definitely wrong with me mentally. By my sophomore year, I was self harming and in counselling and diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, OCD, and Anxiety. By junior year I was on a lot of medication thanks to a pill happy psychiatrist. And I was miserable. But thankfully, I found a new psychiatrist who quickly helped me get cut down to just one pill. Near the end of junior year, I quit self harming. And I also finally started to get a bit of control over my mania and my depression.

I have a Google Doc somewhere that has over 150 pages of poetry, and the majority of it is about depression, trauma, and anger. And they were all written during middle school and highschool. Writing poetry helped me then. Now, I don’t really write poetry anymore. I have only written a handful of poems within the last year. And they were mostly in Shakespearean English because I thought it would be fun.

I believe I might have religious anxiety. I don’t remember the technical term though. I grew up going to Baptist Churches and had a heavy christian influence. But sadly, Christians aren’t quite as christian as they are supposed to be. 

Due to being constantly worried about sinning and about being too filthy and being damned to hell, my depression and anxiety got to me from a different angle. I kept breaking up with everyone I dated if I feared we were getting too close. I would either feel like I wasn’t good enough or I would fear that we would have sex and I would be damned. I also hated myself for my sexuality, though it took me a long time to figure that out. I supported my LGBTA+ friends but when it came to myself, I couldn’t accept myself. 

When I self harmed, I would do it because I felt filthy and had this urge to scratch my skin off my body because I never felt clean. I never hurt myself too severely, just scratches and shallow cuts on my wrist and my thigh. But I still found it hard to quit. It became far too easy to always turn to the blade, regardless of if I was feeling filthy or if I was dissociating or if I was having a panic attack. 

Despite what had happened to me, I’m finally starting to become me. Even though I am still discovering who I am. I quite self harming, I don’t have quite as many panic attacks or nightmares, I lost my virginity, learned I am demisexual (leaning a bit towards asexuality though) Panromantic and Nonbinary. I also discovered I have some other health issues outside of my mental health. I am apparently allergic to alphagall, peanuts, and wheat. Thankfully I just get slightly sick if I eat those things though, but it is still a bit annoying when those things are basically in everything you like to eat. 

I also found out that the reason my menstrual cycle has always been so irregular is because I have cysts. Originally I thought I had PCOS but now after some ultrasounds, it is looking like Endometriosis. I have cysts on my uterus and my ovaries. The doctor told me that my insurance should cover the surgery if I were to get a total hysterectomy. 

I never really wanted to give birth so that part of this doesn’t bother me, my fear is that there will be issues from the surgery. And it has also spurred some identity issues. But so far, I am sticking to they/them pronouns. Even though my family still calls me she/her. But I haven’t really come out to them. They know I’m not 100% straight, but who wants to sit down and explain to their grandmother (who dropped out of school in eight grade to care for her grandma, has a flip phone, and just a few years ago decided to accept the lgbt+ part of her family) that I’m nonbinary? I barely manage to explain to my mother (highschool dropout because of pregnancy, has a touch screen phone and understand some things of the current century) that there is more than just straight, gay, and bisexual. I explained to my mother the other day what omnigender and nonbinary is. Had to explain transgender to my mother when I was a junior and introduced her to a friend of mine who was afab but went by he/him pronouns. 

I suppose that despite all the shit I’ve been through, at least my mother doesn’t give two flying fucks who I like. When I told her that I thought I was pansexual in middle school, all she did was ask me what that meant. Then she just nodded her head and went with it. Same thing when I decided I was Wiccan in middle school. She even bought me a pentacle necklace and every book (mostly fantasy) that mentioned witches. I no longer identify as Wiccan, I mostly just stick to animist. But my point being, my mother didn’t throw a fit when two of her nine kids came out as gay. Even if she does identify as a Saturday Adventist, she supports us. She even listens to me ramble about mistranslated things in the Bible and my views on theology. And my rants about Supernatural. Though she did laugh when I spent about an hour crying after the Supernatural second to last episode of season 15. She did listen to me rant about Castiel and the plot lines and everything. Though I had to keep explaining some of the characters to her. 

Despite the things I’ve been through, I managed to graduate high school, survive my severe depression and anxiety, and now I am thinking about possibly applying for Law school and going to college. And I now also have the confidence to do what I want and wear what I want. Though I still feel all nervous about asking out a girl I’ve been friends with for about three or more years. I’ve now made the excuse to wait and see if she mentions not being completely straight. Oh, and she now has a boyfriend too so yeah, gonna have to wait a bit.

Until next time,

Alois 🐧

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

MORE ABOUT MY NEXT GEN BABIES. 

Adelaide ‘Addy’ Maeve Coleman - daughter of Zara & Danny. 

- scars to your beautiful - alessia cara   - july 1st, cancer  - actress, studying at diamond bridge (LA) - bisexual with no preference, single  - esfp, hufflepuff  - raised in lilac heights in zara & danny’s home they live in now  - ditzy, naive, energetic but also sensitive and insecure. she has a tendency to let herself be walked all over by friends and lovers. she also lacks the confidence to really accept that she has talent and is capable of doing things.  - she was painfully desperate to be one of the popular girls in high school, to the point where she would let her “friends” treat her like dirt. even though she’s now in college, the effects of the underhand bullying stay with her and it makes her very reluctant to trust and open up to new people.

Allison ‘Ally’ Marie Cortes-Smith - daughter of Adrian & Holly. 

- seven - sleeping at last - august 13th, leo  - model & athletics (surfing, figure skating & dance), studying at gold coast (australia)  - heterosexual, dating brett jackson - entp, gryffindor  - raised in violet springs (?), in her family home with adrian and holly - energetic, outgoing, adventurous but also explosive and stubborn. ally is constantly looking for family-like connections away from holly, adrian and haley. she craves feeling like somebody’s first choice because - particularly with holly - she felt like the back-up plan until she got custody of haley. she has one song about her, whereas haley has enough for an EP of music with holly worshipping her and she’s just always felt that subtle favouritism in her household.  - from an early age, she’s sought out love in all of the wrong places but is currently in a good place with brett, who is definitely her safety net. she’d be lying if she said living in australia made her homesick. 

Aurora Faith Kingsley - daughter of Soraya & Julian.

- boss bitch - doja cat  - january 17th, capricorn  - fashion designer, studying at rosewell (paris)  - heterosexual, bisexual dating peter romano  - entj, slytherin  - raised in violet springs (?), in her family home with soraya and julian. she definitely has a dual-citizenship like soraya, though, and often spends summers in cuba with her grandparents.  - outspoken, confident, witty but also explosive, judgemental and harsh. aurora was definitely spoilt with love when being raised by her parents; both soraya and julian doted on her in different ways, and while she knows the value of materialistic things, she’s not entirely used to not getting her own way or not having people adore her. that being said, she’s a fiercely loyal friend and shows the love she was given when she was younger to people she thinks deserve it. - aurora’s expectations and standards are impressively high and she’ll always credit her parents, who always modelled a healthy and secure relationship to her. she doesn’t take it for granted & always strives to find people who treat her the same way julian treats soraya.

Belle Cynthia Carmichael - Daughter of Anastasia 

- donatella - lady gaga  - november 3rd, scorpio  - dancing & modelling, studying in west ivys (london)  - heterosexual, single  - esfp, slytherin  - raised partially in los angeles and also in lilac heights with anastasia and her father (divorced) as well as her older sister, darcy.  - aesthetic, good-humoured, magnetic but also irresponsible, self-indulgent and superficial. belle is the baby of the family and took a shine to the socialite los angles lifestyle from around 12 years old. she’s a big spender, loves the night life of any big city and is a BIG fan of the attention that being a rising star brings her. unlike her sister, who’s a lot more lowkey, belle demands attention and will do anything to get her own way in any situation. - everyone was expecting anastasia and ryder to split from their (what would have been) their fifteen year marriage. everybody except belle and darcy, anyway. the girls were caught off-guard and it wasn’t easy. belle had the most extreme reaction, becoming very emotional and self-indulgent. her way of dealing with it has been to do everything in her power to go against anything either of her parents ask of her; she’s definitely out of control.

Daisy Louise Romano, daughter of Florence & Dominic. (tw: cancer) 

- style - taylor swift  - may 22nd, gemini  - dance, studying at liberty (new york city)  - heterosexual, single   - isfp, gryffindor  - raised in violet springs (?) in dom and florence’s family home, but i imagine they have a family home in italy because of dominic’s roots too. florence and dom spend a lot of time in italy in general, so it’d make sense.  - creative, friendy, warmhearted but also over-protected, nervous and idealistic. daisy is the only daughter in her family and it definitely shows. on top of dominic, she also has carter and peter who have kept a close eye on her growing up and has definitely been protected from things other girls her age may have learnt to deal with themselves, or without as much back-up. rather than rebelling against it, she’s very comfortable & probably relies on her brothers - especially peter - for more than she should. she’s very rooted in family and while she’s a hopeless romantic and loves flirting, going on adventures and seeing the world, her heart is with her family. - daisy’s pre-teen years were snatched away by the fact that she was diagnosed with cancer. she spent three years of what would’ve been her high school life in hospital and was far too weak to dance or do anything she usually did. she was put into remission at 15 and was cancer free for three years before it made a return, now she’s nineteen (pushing 20), she’s once again in remission but her anxiety and trauma from the sickness are very much alive.

Darcy Briar Carmichael - daughter of Anastasia. 

- nothing breaks like a heart - miley cyrus  - february 27th, pisces  - modelling, studying at st judes (violet springs)  - bisexual, single - infp, ravenclaw - raised partially in los angeles and also in lilac heights with anastasia and her father (divorced) as well as her older sister, darcy. - patient, imaginative, loyal but also argumentative, guarded and defensive. darcy has always been wise beyond her years in the sense that she’s mature and has a responsible head on her shoulders. anastasia used to worry that she wouldn’t enjoy her early twenties/teen years in the same way everybody else seemed to, but it just never appealed to her - she preferred to lose herself in art, reading and individual activities rather than going out to huge parties and festivals like her sister. she’s quietly confident and is happy to be seen as the ‘boring’ one if it means not having to be forced to sit at social events she’d rather not be a part of.  - darcy’s confidence was knocked by her parent’s divorce. it actually ruined her application to blossom bell academy - where she wanted to go and do art and photography. she was unorganised and just a mess in general, so she knew she’d get rejected. st judes, her second choice, also rejected her art portfolio but because of her looks, offered her a modelling position. she figured it was better than nothing but it’s never been her passion. only now is she starting to feel inferior in comparison to her little sister.

Dixie Gisele Carmichael - daughter of Disney and Brody. 

- god is a woman - ariana grande  - october 1st, libra  - fashion design, studying at rosewell (paris) - heterosexual, single  - estj, slytherin  - raised in new york but spends the summers in france & christmas in violet springs to be close to grandparents  - confident, hard-working, charming but manipulative, calculated and jealous. dixie has grown up in the spotlight due to being the child of arguably the most famous couple to come out of st judes in her parents era. she’s very used to it and it’s something she’s numb too. however, unlike her sister, who seems to just get things a whole lot easier than dixie, she has clawed her way to the top of everything she has, not caring who she scratches on the way up; being the most popular, young socialite on the upper east side, her fashion career and everything else are things she’s had to fight for out of the threat of otherwise being branded as ‘fleur’s twin.’ she holds herself and others at a viciously high standard. she’s been on dates and enjoyed attention from guys but she hasn’t slept with anybody and has never had a boyfriend; it’s not something she hides either. her main goal right now is to become the best designer there is, and she’s proven that she’ll stop at nothing to get there. - while at gallagher high school, fleur was already booking modelling jobs and becoming the more successful of the twins. dixie resented it. she couldn’t stand feeling inferior or lesser than and wasn’t happy for her sister at all. quite the opposite. the two of them applied for rosewell but unfortunately for fleur, when their acceptance letters came through, she was out at new york fashion week, leaving dixie to reject her offer and forge a fake one telling her she’d been rejected....and she’d do it again.

Dylan Samuel Powell - son of Janey. 

- fine line - harry styles  - february 15th, aquarius  - photographer, studies at west ivys (london)  - heterosexual, dating lily  - infj, hufflepuff  - raised in sweden until he was thirteen, and then moved to violet springs to be closer to his family with janey.  - patient, practical and compassionate but over-protective, nervous and sensitive. dylan had a quiet childhood. when janey graduated from west ivy’s, she moved out to a rural part of sweden where she started a new. her life consisted of writing and exploring until she had dylan with a man who’s no longer in the picture. dylan fell into janey’s lifestyle too; quiet, peaceful and creative. he enjoyed it for the most part, but the trauma of janey’s experiences definitely became his too. he grew up seeing his mother have anxiety attacks in public or not want to leave the house if she had a feeling she was being watched. in many ways, dylan became the parent. he was the one who made his mother feel safe. he was the protector. he never really understood until he finally met his grandparents at 15 and was told exactly why janey was the way she was. this only brought out an even more protective side of him, after having his eyes opened to how disgusting the world can be. - dylan was reluctant to study anywhere too far away from janey, but she pushed him to branch out at least a little, because she has a lot of guilt about holding him back for al of these years. 

Emmett Charles Hamilton - son of Imogen & Nate. 

- go stupid - polo g  - april 12th, aries  - actor, studying at st judes (violet springs)  - heterosexual, single  - entp, slytherin  - raised in london (south kensington) with imogen and has always been a city boy. he’s your typical private school kid; his father has been out of the picture only for a few months but it hasn’t had much effect. his younger brother, ethan, chose to move in with nate while he stuck with imogen. - intelligent, intuitive, social but lazy, restless and unmotivated. out of emmett and ethan, emmett definitely takes the crown for the family disappointment. his brother’s childhood was full of sports trophies, A*’s on report cards and being at the top of the social hierachy. emmett, on the other hand, would’ve happily lived in his parent’s loft and never seen the light of the day if he could. he did pretty wel in school and had al of the potential, but a life of getting high and falling back on to his trust fund seemed way more appealing. imogen was more willing to let him coast through life (being from wealth herself), whereas nate was always pushing him to go out and make something of himself, meaning naturally he prefers his mother.  - emmett is in the process of burning through his trustfund. he’s impulsive and careless and without proper guidance, will soon find himself with nothing. he has no respect for his dad - who is the stricter parent - and thinks he’s invincible. 

Jay Alexander Hamilton -  son of Park. 

- tonight you’re perfect - new politics  - september 17th, virgo  - athlete, liberty academy  - heterosexual, seeing sylvia(?)  - enfj, ravenclaw   - raised partially in the canary islands with his dad, running their hotel, but also in violet springs with his grandparents.  - friendly, ambitious, a deep thinker but also impatient, overly-critical and a perfectionist. jay was brought up on the canary islands with his father after losing his mother when he was eight. constantly being at the beach, the hotel and new people, he’s a social person with an active imagination and is always on the go. he’s both book and street smart but can at times hold himself to impossible standards; he definitely gets his perfectionist streak from his aunt. the loss of his mum has hurt him, but he buries his feelings as much as possible to avoid talking about them. jay’s always fit in with popular crowds seamlessly and it’s exactly the same story for liberty academy. - jay has already shown huge potential at liberty academy and has been given attention that first years usually don’t get. he’s currently dealing with the end of a friendship with ethan, though, his best friend for many years. it’s lowkey weighing on him but he’d never show that it effects him.

Kai Arden Powell - son of Louis & Lexi. 

- fireflies, owl city  - march 3rd, pisces  -  writer and actor, studying at willow house (cardiff)  - heterosexual, dating sofia  - infj, ravenclaw  - raised in violet springs (?) with louis and lexi, close to his family with good connections to both sides.  - imaginative, selfless, creative but pessimistic, self-pitying and emotional. kai is the perfect example of a high achieving burn-out. all through his school life, he boasted great grades and came at the top of the class for most things, but as the years went on, he lost momentum and started to rest on his abilities. while everybody else levelled up and got better, he declined and started to slowly stop caring about his academic achievements. he was more concerned with the social side and fitting in with people who really didn’t care much about him. when it came to college admissions, he was already failing many classes and got rejected from everywhere besides willow house. he hates it and refuses to even try to enjoy it. - sofia is his lifeline, at the moment. she’s trying to get her dad, wesley, to negotiate with people at st judes to get him a space, but it isn’t necessarily going to work. especially if kai can’t get his grades up and apply himself to his writing and acting seriously. 

Charlotte ‘Lottie’ Bradford - daughter of Drew & Annabel.

- first man, camila cabello -  june 30th, cancer  - singer-songwriter & musician, studying liberty academy (new york)  - enfp, ravenclaw  - raised with drew & annabel as an only child  - romantic, loving, protective and sympathetic but touchy, defensive and an overthinker. lottie grew up with both of her parents and spent a lot of time on the road with drew when he was touring. she’s used to big crowds, music and moving around a lot but grew up very attached to her mother, annabel, she’s her favourite person in the entire world and everything she does is to make her proud.  - lottie ended up dropping out of high school to go to a stage school in london when drew stopped touring; she was around 14, but eventually got homesick and returned, spending her last few years at springs park high before she got accepted into liberty. she’s really set on making memories and doing her absolute best in music - but she’s prone to falling in love with people and getting extremely distracted.

Sullivan Rosini - son of Ruby.

- song undecided  -  14th may, taurus  - actor & singer (vc: frank ocean)  - esfj, gryffindor  - raised by ruby  - independent, humanitarian and sociable but also head-strong, stubborn and judgemental. sullivan was adopted by ruby when he was seven and settled very quickly into the family home. since around 12 years old, he’s been an activist and had a huge presence online for animal rights. he’s been arrested multiple time at different protests and it gives ruby the most anxiety but she’s also very proud of him. 

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[spacesuitsforemergency]

Oops!...I Did It Again

Word Count: 1.8k

Requested by @must-be-ryan: Oneshot idea (maybe?): Music Meister learning he has a kid in their early teens who just discovered their powers and followed in his footsteps

A/N: I tweaked it slightly so that he already knew his daughter. And btw her powers are so that she can speak and people will do as she says. Singing too, but just talking will do the trick. Also I’m literally the dumbest person on earth, I kept misspelling ‘sandwich’. I wrote this while listening to the High School Musical soundtracks

Music Meister Tagging: @silverdecepticon93

“Dad!” You shout in panic. “Help me!”

You watch as your dad comes barreling down the grand staircase of the mansion (which he had used his powers to “buy”), nearly slipping on the marble floors. It was way more hilarious because he was still in his pajamas, and had shaving cream on half his face.

He looks around the foyer, expecting to see danger, but everything looks normal. The only thing that tipped him off was his daughter standing in the front doorway, and the mail man was passed out on the porch.

“What happened?” He asked, joining you in the doorway and peering down at the dude.

“I don’t know! The guy told me to have a nice day, I said ‘drop dead’ and he just fell!” You gesture down to the man you potentially just killed.

“First of all, when someone says ‘have a nice day’, the proper response is ‘you too’.” Your dad corrects. “Second of all, is he actually dead?”

“I don’t know! Why do you think I yelled for help?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

Dennis reaches down and finds the mail mans pulse, sighing in relief when there is indeed one.

“He’s not dead...” he stands back up. “How did you do that?”

“What part of ‘I don’t know’ do you not understand?” You cross your arms, frustrated because you’re freaking out and he’s not helping so far.

“Is that sass, Missy?” He puts a hand on his hip.

“Dad! You’re not helping!”

“Okay, okay!” He nods, racking his brain for ideas. Then it hits him. “Oh my god, my darling! You must have developed your powers!”

“What? I thought you said I was too old to get them anymore?” You ask as he wraps you in a bear hug, picking you up and twirling.

“Well I guess that was one of the rare moments I was wrong!” He cheers joyfully as he sets you down. “Okay, tell me to do something.”

“Uh...make me a sandwich?” You shrug.

Nothing happens.

“Try to add a little...emotion. Show me some urgency!” He snaps his fingers. “Give me some pizzazz!”

“Make me a sandwich!” You yell at him, making sure to pour out your frustration.

He suddenly looses emotion in his face, and at first you’re kind of freaked out. Then he robotically moves to the kitchen, opening the fridge and cupboards as he gathers sandwich ingredients. You watch with your jaw dropped as he actually makes you a sandwich, and he blinks as soon as it’s finished. He looks around in confusion, staring at the sandwich in his hands.

“Why am I making a sandwich?” He asked after a minute.

“Holy shit! I did it!” You shout in glee.

“I have taught you better manners than that, but holy shit indeed!” He mirrors your excitement as he runs back over to you. “My baby girl is all grown up!”

“Now, what do we do about the mail man?” You point to him.

“Hm. I’ll take care of this. You go eat, you need some energy for the day we’re going to have!” He grins.

“What are we doing?” You ask.

“My dear, darling daughter, we are celebrating!” He sang. “I’ve been waiting for this day for 15 years! You are getting proper attire for villainy, and we are planning your first heist tonight!”

“Aw! Dad!” You groan in disgust when he kissed you on top of the head, his shaving cream getting in your hair. “Thanks a lot! Now I have to wash my hair again!”

•

“So what color scheme are we going for?” Your dad asks.

“I am not wearing your hideous green and purple.” You mumble as you stare at the stuff he already picked out in resentment. You were currently in some department store, picking out your new villain fit with your dad.

The past couple hours were almost torture, your dad just wouldn’t stop fawning over you. He was so excited and proud though, you couldn’t even get angry at the guy. He was thrilled to begin passing the torch down to you, and both of you were eager to get started.

“Um, I think you mean the gorgeous combination of lime and violet?” He scoffs, clearly offended. “It is one of the only things me and my dear friend Edward can agree on.”

“Well you and your dear friend Edward are wrong.” You shake your head.

“Y/N, it is not rocket science. Just pick something. We still need to give you a name.” He shoved the rack of clothing at you.

“Oh, I picked that out when I was 9.” You say, finally actually looking through the clothes, despite already knowing you wouldn’t like any of it.

Even after your father gave you the news that you would most likely not develop powers since you had passed the age he had received them, you still wanted them. You wanted to become just like your dad, he was your idol. You of course would never tell him that, his ego was way too big already.

“You...you did?” His voice cracks, a smile making its way to his face as he tears up.

“Are we really getting sappy right now?” You sigh.

“No!” He quickly wiped his tears. “No, of course not. What is it, dear? Tell me.”

“Siren. Hypnotic powers through voice? What do you think?” You grin.

“It’s fitting, dramatic, mysterious, threatening. I love it!” He hugs you for about the millionth time today. “Honey you have no idea how happy I am to hear that!”

“Hear what?” You wheeze from the tight hug.

“To hear that you picked out a name! To hear that you’ve wanted this for so long!” He finally let’s go to let you breathe properly. “Now, Siren, have you choosen your attire?”

“Yeah yeah. I hate it though.” You say sarcastically, pretending to be disgusted by the color combo.

You stuff the clothes into your bag, both of you getting ready to slip past the workers. You hear someone clear your throat behind you, and see Karen the Manager. The worst villain of all.

“I’m calling security. Don’t think I didn’t see that.” She sniped at you, sneering at the both of you before saying into her com; “We got a couple of lowlifes trying to smuggle some merchandise.”

“Lowlifes, Karen?” You glare at her. “You can just drop dead, lady!”

Then she falls to the ground.

“Oops, I did it again.” You wince.

“Lesson Number 1, you have got to stop saying that to people.” Your father shakes his head at you. “Not to worry! But we should get out of here before-“

“Hey! Stop right there!” A mall security guard shouts from the entrance of the store.

“Dad, what do we do?” You ask, panicked at this point.

“This is perfect practice! Siren, if you will.” He gestures to the guards coming for the both of you.

“What?!” Your eyes widen.

“Go on!” He nudges you, like a mother bird kicking its hatchling out of the nest. “Lesson Number 2, come up with it on the spot!”

“Stop!” You shout at the guards, and they freeze. “Okay uh...let us go. This never happened.”

“This never happened.” The 3 men nod, still frozen.

You and your dad creep past them, then book it out of the department store. You race down the hallways of the mall, shoving people out of your way. More mall cops pursue you as you dash towards the doors.

“Get the car! I’m right behind you!” Your dad pushes you through the doors.

“But I can’t drive!” You protest as he tosses you the keys.

“Lesson Number 3, go with the flow, my dear!” He grins before turning to deal with the guards.

You reluctantly rush to the car, not really sure how to even start it. You quickly figure it out, then drive to the entrance. Your dad sprints out a moment later, practically falling into the car.

“Step on it!” He screeches as police cars pull up from behind you.

You speed forward, barreling down the road. Your dad grabs the wheel to help guide you, while also looking back every so often to watch the police cars in pursuit.

“This is a lot of trouble for the ugliest outfit ever!” You yell in alarm as you nearly rear end someone, but your dad quickly swerves.

“It’s for the drama, darling!” Your dad beams, turning the radio on. “Plus the publicity!”

“Ew, this song is awful.” You scrunch your nose when he doesn’t change the station.

“I’m a little busy at the moment!” He yells, taking out his music staff and shooting music beams at the police from the sunroof.

You finally lose the cops after awhile, your dad plopping back into the passenger seat. When you make it to your house you stumble out of the car, shaking from the adrenaline rush.

“I’d say that went pretty well for your first crime.” He says after a few moments of silence.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” You groan.

“Wasn’t that such a thrill?” He ignores you, strutting up to the door. “How do you feel?”

You respond by throwing up in the well trimmed bushes, Dennis cringing as his daughters’ retches. He inches towards you, awkwardly rubbing your back in a weak attempt to comfort you. When you finish he guides you inside and to the table, quickly grabbing you a glass of water.

“You’re okay right?” He asks, concerned. “I didn’t freak you out, did I? I’m a horrible father, I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I’ve scarred you for life! I am a disgrace! An imbecile! Wretched! Diabolical! Heinous! Wick-!”

“Chillax, drama queen.” You giggle. “The only thing I’m scarred with is the fear of driving ever again.”

“So...you’re okay?” He asks timidly.

“Of course, that was awesome!” You grin. “Did you see me beat Karen? And the cops? And when I almost hit that one guy crossing the road but I didn’t? I just committed my first felony!”

“Hell yeah, you did!” He cheered, giving you the most over the top high five ever. “So I didn’t give my baby any emotional trauma?”

“No, dude! That was so cool! I’m so ready for the next heist!” You give him your best evil grin.

“Thank god, because I already got these custom made.” He pulls a case out of his pocket, opening it to reveal a pair of visors identical to his.

You smile up at him, and this time you initiated the hug. You thank him and kiss him on the cheek, before taking the visor and putting it on. You look in the reflection of the wall length window, then turn to your dad, who has a proud smile on his face.

“How do I look?” You ask.

“You look all grown up...” Dennis sniffles, tearing up once again.

“Dad!”

“I’m sorry! I promise I’ll stop crying one of these days!”

[tiffdawg]

Hey Tiff, here for the mod mfk game 😊

I'll try and make this short! I tend to babble. Apologies for the inevitable.

I'm INFP-T (mediator). When I originally took the test, I sent it to all my female friends to take because I wanted to know their types 😂 (I didn't think my male friends would give a sh*t).

I hold strong opinions, I know my faults, I find it hard to ackowledge my good traits, I've been through a fair deal of trauma and abandonment (lol), I deal with my baggage through humor (and lots of therapy, too), I used to see myself as a poor sad girl but have grown to see I'm far more than that (thank f*ck), I swear daily but probably less than I did when I was a teen (and I had a filthy mouth then), I dealt with the death of a close relative at a fairly critical time in my mental development and so I think I have a fair view on death and how to comfort someone going through that, if they desire it from me. I am quite proud of how present I was for that relative when they were dying, even if I didn't truly understand what they were going through, at the time, I hope they were comforted by me spending so much time with them.

Less dark sh*t: I love to sing, even though my voice is shrill and can actually pierce my ears at times (so I try not to do it around others ((like it took 4 years to sing infront of my partner!)). I'm infatuated with the filmmaking process and general processes behind creating worlds on screen and page. (I was around 8 when I asked for my first prop replica as a birthday/christmas gift. I just love props and the work and detail that goes into making stuff for sets/costume etc. That's like thee subject that will get my passion fired up all the way. I buzz.) I can be really dumb, something that's developed with age. My mind will just omit information when I'm trying to form a sentence or reference to something. It's probably down to poor concentration (and one summer I smoked a bunch of weed every other day.)

Umm yeah. I f*cking love coffee. I can have up to 4 a day (either just black or a soy cappucino). It's one of my only dirty habits, really. (I rarely drink alcohol, smoke, or take drugs, bar that summer.)

When I was younger I took a couple of psychology courses 'cause ain't the brain fascinating? The subjects I got high marks on, in high school, were Literature, History, Creative Arts, and Science. I sucked at maths but was placed in a higher intelligence class because I was in those for other classes and the timetables for lower sets clashed (it honestly sucked. Like my tutor even said 'you shouldn't be in this class'. Thanks dude!). I dropped out of college because I had severe PTSD, and am yet to go back 👎I don't think I want to.

I have a couple of tattoos. I prefer the summer to winter. I love house plants but I'm terrible at keeping them alive. If I'm travelling somewhere where the main language isn't english I will learn that language! I have an extensive vinyl collection. I'm annoying.

I'LL SHUT UP NOW SORRY I AM SO SO SORRY FOR THIS DUMB INFORMATION THANK U FOR READING I BET YOU PAIR ME WITH FRANKIE. I USUALLY GET FRANKIE OR DIN 😂

Ezra + Rivals to Lovers

You and Ezra first met while harvesting gems on a small moon. Two loquacious leaders on competing teams, neither were surprised when the confrontation ended in a shootout. Despite your past and the nature of life as a floater, you held your head high and held strong morals. You didn’t compromise for anyone. Especially not a sharp-tongued man with wicked intentions.

The fifth time you crossed paths with Ezra, you noticed the blade of your knife had left a white scar on his cheek, marring his handsome features. Pride swelled in your chest. And the smirk on his face told you he knew exactly what was on your mind.

It went on and on like that for years. Your heated encounters became a regular occurrence and even as he tried to kill you, he was perhaps the only reliable person in your life. You tried and tested each other, pushed the other to their limits, and offered a tether for your wandering souls.

Somewhere along the line, things changed. In the most inopportune moment on a planet with a toxic atmosphere, your breathing apparatus malfunctioned. Fate was not on your side, but Ezra was.

As you laid on your cot one night in your run-down pod, you realized you hadn’t run into the prospector for a few months. Your heart sank in your chest as you imagined all of the things that could’ve happened to him. You lived a dangerous life. Loosing people, friends and rivals alike, was expected. Something you were well accustomed to. That was why you kept yourself so closed off and kept everyone at a distance. So how did Ezra, of all the people in the galaxy, have such a hold on you?

You sat in a canteen aboard the ship taking you to your next harvest, pushing around the food on your tray with your fork. Your mind was elsewhere as you desperately tried to plot a new course for your life as you knew you couldn’t do this any longer. You didn’t even look up when someone sat across from you until you heard that familiar, deep baritone. 

“I have missed you, birdie.” Your head snapped up. Eyes never settling, you took him in, not able to believe that he was real. That he had returned to you. With tired eyes, a few new scars, and only one arm, he looked… well, he looked like shit. “Might I inquire where you are headed next in this vast and ever-expanding galaxy?”

“Somewhere warm,” you said with what voice you could muster. “Somewhere safe. Somewhere… with you.”

You held your breath as you waited for his answer, prepared for rejection. Surely, after all these years contently at each other’s throats, you’d misread the situation. He hummed a little as he nodded thoughtfully, but the glimmer in his dark eyes gave him away. A smile pulled at your lips.

“In all my years, I have never struck such a fortune as the day I met you,” he grinned.