#he's got everything except bloodthirst

[peaterookie]

a drawing i made for my discord pfp

since demon lupin was on my mind this year, i decided to give him his favorite halloween costume, a vampire!!

[firestorm09890]

hi can you tell me about limbus company specifically about don quixote and sancho. i’m trying to piece it together from context clues but i’m not doing well. basically as you may know i’m a huge mili fan and i’ve just been wanting to understand the context behind the song hero so i can appreciate it better

OMG I WOULD BE HONORED TO so the first thing you need to know is that Project Moon worldbuilding is a massive beast. There will be stuff I leave out because it's not entirely relevant to Hero, but I'll do the best I can to both explain everything and keep it "short".

...Not short enough that it can stay without a readmore.

The first thing you need to know is that most of the time in fandom, the name Don Quixote refers to this person

She is extremely passionate about justice and is described as someone who appears to be playing the role of a righteous knight.

Other important information here is that every playable character in Limbus Company has an icon

an associated emoji (🎠), an associated color (Oblivion Yellow; it's just the yellow above but the word Oblivion is important), an associated phrase ("To reach the unreachable star!"), and this thing called a personal EGO, which is basically a special attack that comes from the self or something. Don Quixote's is called "La Sangre de Sancho" and consists of her shouting "Onwards, Rocinante! Justice will prevail!", running at the enemy and stabbing a lance made of blood into them. Rocinante is the name of her shoes, but it was also the name of Don Quixote's horse in the book. This is what the art for that EGO attack looks like.

Lots of posters, she's playing dolls, you can ignore the barbed wire and bars on the windows because that's part of every personal EGO but you do not have to ignore the scary skeleton horse shadow or the fact that outside the window is a carousel where instead of horses, there are people impaled on sticks. This will all make sense later.

This is Sancho. She is the same person as the Don Quixote from above.

With Sancho, you might see someone else named Don Quixote, who looks like this

This white-haired man is the Don Quixote I will be referring to up until the yellow-haired girl takes his name.

Once upon a time, probably hundreds or even thousands of years ago, there was this vampire (henceforth called a "bloodfiend") named Don Quixote. He pulls inspiration from the literary Don Quixote but only some. He lived in a castle in the middle of nowhere by himself until the weight of his bloodthirst got to him and he went to go make some kindred to alleviate the pain (bloodfiends can each turn two people max into other bloodfiends, after that they kinda just become shambling zombies made of blood; the more generations a bloodfiend "family" has, the more spread out the collective bloodthirst gets, so it's in a bloodfiend's best interest to turn others). The first of Don Quixote's kindred was a woman named Sancho, who he found kinda just letting herself die in a ditch. He asked her to join him, and she accepted.

In Don Quixote, Sancho was Don Quixote's squire, who got roped into it by the promise that he would get an island to be the governor of. There's this whole thing in the book about Don Quixote's delusions becoming slightly more realistic as the story passes, while Sancho's ideals trended the opposite way. This will be important I promise.

Don Quixote made another kindred, and that kindred went on to make a bunch of other kindreds until there was a whole huge bloodfiend family living together in that castle in the middle of nowhere. Sancho was unusual for a bloodfiend, having no interest in making kindred herself and being far more skeptical of Don Quixote's whims than any bloodfiend (or squire) should be (they have an instinct to never go against the bloodstream). She was cold and distant from the rest of her family, except for DQ.

One day! A human knight appeared at the door! In the beginning Don Quixote didn't want her there but then she sparred against him to a draw (bloodfiends are EXTREMELY powerful, more powerful than humans) which made him gain a little bit of respect for her. This knight, Bari (not a character in Don Quixote, she has other shit going on), started regaling Don Quixote with tales of Fixers, humans in The City (Limbus Company's main setting) who are... essentially mercenaries but with class- once again a whole thing but essentially she got him thinking about knights and adventurers. She did this to inspire him to take the side of humans in a war against bloodfiends that was happening elsewhere, which he does. Sancho, who thinks Bari's stories are stupid and this interest is foolhardy, stands by his side in battle.

...But wait! Over time, Sancho too grows interested in Bari's stories, though she refuses to admit it. At one point Bari tells Don Quixote about amusement parks, which gets him thinking "waow maybe if we make an amusement park, my family of bloodfiends can coexist with humans!"

It was a lovely idea, and DQ and one of his lower kindred crafted this cool new thing called "hemobars" which were like a little bit of blood mixed with a bunch of other stuff to make a brick bloodfiends could eat to satisfy their need for blood. Guests would pay at the door in blood, and they would be made into hemobars to distribute to the bloodfiend family, who runs the amusement park.

Surprise surprise, the hemobars were not enough, and the family was getting restless. They wanted to drink blood so badly, but they couldn't go against Don Quixote's wishes because he's the patriarch. So, knowing that he was really into collecting cool artifacts, a few of the bloodfiends came up with a plan to even the playing field. They told him about the Helm of Mambrino, which makes anyone who wears it be perceived as being on the exact same level as those perceiving them, so they would be able to rebel against him (they did not tell him any of this aside from it being a cool helm). A wonderful adventure! And due to Sancho's interest in the knight stuff, the family did not tell her about the plan, and Don Quixote took her with him as his squire.

They did adventure stuff, at some point Don Quixote turned a pair of shoes he got into a powerful artifact named Rocinante that will be important later. Don Quixote wants Sancho to get into the spirit of things, Sancho says it's ridiculously juvenile but tries to speak like she's in Shakespeare anyways, it's all great. They get the helm.

And then when they get back to the amusement park, everything's in shambles. Bloodfiends eating people. Don Quixote, who presumably can't take off the helm because it's cursed or something, seals the entirety of the park off (he can do that because he made it out of his own blood. it's normal), trapping everyone inside so they can't hurt more humans, but...

He orders Sancho to leave first. She was wearing the shoes at the time and those shoes take her away even though she doesn't want to go and there's lots of screaming and crying and it's horribly tragic.

Super depressed, she asks Bari to take her to Lethe, the River of Oblivion, a magic river that will wipe her memories. There's this whole thing about how drinking from the river hones some of your thoughts into a mad obsession which is only a tad relevant (correction: turns out this is a different tributary of the one big river. Lethe is also a tributary. she just glanced at this one, mirae-mirae, and actually drank from lethe) She loses her memories and goes to live alone in a lighthouse in the vast outskirts surrounding the City.

I'm so sorry this was entirely backstory so far.

Cut to 200 years later, Sancho has been basically playing dolls by herself this whole time. Her obsession focuses entirely on Fixers, the sorts of heroes her father (oh yeah that's how bloodfiends work, the guy who turned her is her father now) used to love. She's silly now! She's believing the posters are talking to her! She doesn't know about the unglamorous, "hired mercenary" part of Fixer life, believing everything they do is for justice. After 200 years, this guy shows up to recruit her for Limbus Company and she accepts- at this point, she's forgotten her name, but she also hasn't taken off Rocinante, and who's name is written on Rocinante? ...Why, Don Quixote, of course! So she takes the name Don Quixote for herself.

In Limbus Company (company) she's extremely loud and passionate and will rush forward to fight for justice which causes problems for the team more than once. But the thing about Limbus Company is that everyone on the LCB team has to face their past for their mission to collect these things called Golden Boughs, and her turn eventually comes up. Coincidentally, the amusement park her father built has reappeared in the middle of the City, and it's luring people in.

She goes into this mission completely unaware of its connection to her, even as people recognize her and one guy actively tries to remind her of her past. In fact, she's extremely enthusiastic about vanquishing bloodfiends for their evil deeds. Eventually, though, there are circumstances that lead her to a point where she can't turn away subconsciously anymore, and she dismounts Rocinante (read: takes off her shoes)

The thing about Rocinante is that they have been binding her bloodfiend traits this entire time, and because she was wearing them when she drank from the river, taking them off means she remembers everything. And then she sees her father, the original Don Quixote, who, at this point, has been stabbed with thousands of stakes and is sort of merged with the ferris wheel and the Golden Bough that Limbus Company seeks is stabbed into him as well, which is a whole nother can of worms we don't need to get into

Okay at this point Sancho declares her 200 years as Don Quixote to be a dream that has ended. She fucks off to go be with her father in the center of the dungeon that's formed due to the Golden Bough, and the LCB team, the rest of our protagonists, chase her. A few other things happen but she's mostly bitter and sad.

Old Don Quixote, in his 200 years of being trapped with his starving bloodfiend kindred who have stabbed him a thousand times, has decided that his dream is dead too. There is no way humans and bloodfiends can coexist. The amusement park would have never worked. What's important now is that he feeds his family.

Unfortunately, the LCB's other objective aside from obtaining the Golden Bough is to apprehend the creator of the amusement park- Don Quixote. Sancho, ever loyal, stands in their way. There's this really long battle and whole sequence where they eventually break through to her- they remind her she's never been alone (Bari, the knight, was answering every single letter Sancho wrote to her Fixer idols. don't ask how she's still around), they remind her that the dream is still alive, and even though her father no longer believes in it, it really did become hers. Sancho struggles with the idea that the past 200 years was just a dream- even though she remembers everything from before that now, she can't just forget what she did then. That was also her. There's a cool part of her battle theme where her introductory line from the beginning of the game is incorporated into the music but cuts off before she can say her name. Anyway eventually she decides she'll give moving on with her new friends, the LCB, a chance.

Which means now she's standing against the original Don Quixote. This is the battle where Hero plays. I wish I could get into battle mechanics but that would make this explanation wayyyyy too long. He fights them all, and he's so powerful that eventually he almost kills all of them (including the narrator, who revives all the others; if they die, it's over for good), but Sancho stands in his way. They do an awesome anime clash, with Sancho using an upgraded version of her personal EGO (there is a qte. this game does not do qtes. it's supposed to represent her no longer galloping alone on Rocinante, but together) and Sancho wins. Everything that happens after is no longer relevant to Hero but I'll tell you anyway, as Don Quixote lays dying, he dissolves the amusement park (literally. into blood rain), Sancho cries over him, decides to put back on Rocinante and become the "new" Don Quixote, the one the dream will live on within.

WITH THAT CONTEXT GO FORTH!!!

Also the boss fight itself is long as fuck so the mix made to emulate the in-game experience is 23 minutes long but I can show you the cutscene featuring the final clash (only 2 minutes long), which starts from the line "Stand up, gallop on" and is so fucking awesome and imo seeing what's happening during "I am my biggest fan, I am my biggest fan" is peak

This is the in-game mix if you want it lmao

[slayerdurge]

Durgetash Dribbles #2 - The Office

Note: As I mentioned previously, I decided to write the main Durgetash scenes of my Durge Dribbles series from Gortash's POV. I have also posted them on AO3 as a sort of prelude to A Deal With God. It's only going to be three chapters (Coronation, Office, & Morphic Pool), but up can find it here under the name Shared History. Anyway, here, have the office scene!

—

“Kill them,” Gortash commanded the head of his Iron Counsel, a tall and imposing half orc named Nuff. 

“Understood,” Nuff said, his already unusually composed face rendered entirely unreadable behind his metallic mask. He nodded curtly, saluted him, and marched promptly out of the office to fulfill his orders. 

The patriars who'd attended Gortash’s coronation ceremony had been kept under lock and key in the audience hall for the past five days, except Duke Ravengard, whom he’d judged too potentially dangerous to live. Gortash had been trying to decide whether to kill the rest of them or not. 

Every tadpoled citizen kept alive was an additional resource for the Bane Hierarchy once they successfully took over the city. But removing all other authority figures in Baldur’s Gate left the city with no one to turn to to protect them but him. This was the greater value. So long as he could keep the killings covered up until enough of the residents were under his control that it no longer mattered. 

He'd been considering his options for the past five days, in the background of his mind, as he’d worked to maintain order in his city and give his plans the best possible chance to come to fruition. He'd been considering these two potential branching pathways, and about a thousand others. What to do if The Dark Urge lost her fight with Orin, what to do if her memory loss led her to betray him, and, most of all, what would be the fastest way to kill her if, by some miracle, everything else went right and they regained control of the elder brain. 

It had to be fast because he had to finish her before she could enact her Father’s will upon him. It had to be fast because, with her memory loss, he wasn't sure if she'd expect it. He didn't want her to hate him for long. 

But it was time now. He'd felt the resonance of the other two Netherstones from miles away, and he'd made his decision and given the order to kill the patriars just before she arrived.

Nuff probably thought it was an intimidation tactic. It was not. It was a welcome. 

The Dark Urge was coming. 

—

She arrived alone. She’d swapped her robes again—this new set was black with a spiraling gold patterned design, pleasingly reminiscent of what she’d been wearing the last time he’d seen her before Orin’s attack. 

Stillmaker was still hanging from the right side of her belt. She’d always worn it on the left before, he remembered. Her right hand was dominant, so the blade on that side always got more use. On the left side now was Stillmaker’s proper partner—the warped bright red blade called Bloodthirst, which had grown out of a drop of blood from Bhaal's very first kill, back when he was just a normal human man, upon his ascension to godhood.  

He was glad to see that she’d left behind her entourage. Perhaps she'd realized they didn't need anyone else. 

She strode through his office, looking around with interest, her eyes moving over the busts he'd had arranged at the entrance, glancing curiously at his paintings, his piano, his bookshelves, his desk, his statue of Bane. Then finally coming to rest on him. 

She smiled victoriously, and he raised his gauntleted hand to show her the lightly vibrating purple stone in the center. 

“You have the Netherstones!” he declared. “They resonate with my own.”

“I have them,” she confirmed. 

“I commend you for putting an end to Orin’s madness,” he said. He was so excited that he had to speak through his laughter. “She must be screaming bloody murder in the Hells even now. How was the reunion? I trust you demonstrated your particular spark of creative genius?” 

“No need for creativity, really,” The Dark Urge said, shrugging slightly. “I simply obliterated her. There was a Bhaalist who was interested in skinning her after she died, but there wasn't enough of her left for that.”

He laughed again. She was absolutely delightful. How could he ever have believed that someone like Orin could be the end of her?

“I've always preferred your methods to hers,” he told her, quite truthfully. “You have mastery over your Urge. Orin was consumed by her gruesome obsessions.” 

“I know,” she said proudly. She inhaled deeply, like she was readying herself for something. “But my Urge… it's gone from me. As is any last trace of Bhaal.”

Gone? His mind reeled, though he maintained his physical composure. Did she even understand the magnitude of what she was saying?

It was impossible. He would know. He'd searched for a way to save her from her destiny for well over a decade. He’d made deals for forbidden tomes and hidden knowledge with all manner of creatures—fiends, celestials, aberrations, fey. If there was a way, he would have found it. She was Bhaal’s instrument, his weapon, crafted from his flesh. A perfect extension of his will. There was no escape for her. It was impossible. But he was certain he'd heard her correctly.

A horrible thought occurred to him. Had she gone mad? Orin’s attack… and then the tadpole… it’d be enough to drive any but the most well-fortified of minds insane…

But she seemed entirely lucid, standing there and grinning widely at him, waiting for his reaction. She seemed entirely in control. 

He didn't know what to say, didn't know how much she understood.

“I'm surprised Bhaal allowed you to slip away from his grasp,” he finally told her, a slight twinge of uncertainty sneaking into his voice.

“Enver, don't you see?” she said slowly, as if he were the one who was confused. “He was never going to let us rule together, not for long. I'd have had to kill you. I had to control the brain alone in the end, to rain death upon the city, then upon all of Toril. You would've had to die first to make that happen. But now… we can have this. It never has to end.” 

He finally believed her. She would not be able to speak those words out loud if it were not true. He laughed. Not the usual laugh of sadistic camaraderie she often drew out of him, but a laugh of pure joy and relief. 

Here he’d been, worrying for days that her memory loss would cause her to betray him, and she'd found a way to remove the insurmountable roadblock that had always lain between them and a true alliance. They had a future now.

“Yes,” he told her, proudly, joyfully. “With me, you'll have power greater than Bhaal could have given you. And you will bow to no master.”

He shouldn't make promises like that; he knew he shouldn't. He bowed to a master himself. An intelligent and worthy master, one he'd chosen willingly and would choose again, but a master nonetheless.

“I'm with you,” she said, without hesitation.

His own hesitance vanished. It was unnecessary. There was a space for her in his new world order. If there wasn't, he'd carve one out. 

“My involvement with Orin was never a true alliance,” he said, allowing his full distaste for her insolent bloodkin to spill out once again. “A mad dog understands the yank of the leash and the hand of its master, but it cannot be an equal. You can be my equal.”

It was the highest compliment he could ever give her, but it wasn't enough. There was more he wanted to tell her, so much he wanted her to know. About their history, about what they meant to each other. But first they had to dominate the elder brain. And that victory was far from a foregone conclusion. For that, she had to be even stronger. 

“We will raise a Black Keep in Baldur’s Gate,” he told her. “Then we will conquer the Sword Coast, and unite all its peoples under our rule. But first—faithful, come forward.” 

His underlings knew their cue. His Iron Counsel stepped forward, surrounding her on all sides, weapons in hands. The Steel Watch stepped forward too. One of the Watchers stomped loudly right beside her with a force that shook the ground and visibly rattled her whole body. 

She looked entirely undaunted, and a little performatively bored. She crossed her arms and smirked at him knowingly. Of course. Memories or not, she recognized this game. 

“Hand me the Netherstones,” he said, holding out his hand, unable to completely suppress his teasing smile. “And we will rule as one.”

“Go fuck yourself, Enver,” she said, smiling at him widely.

Oh, how he'd missed this. 

“I’m not here for games,” he said, stepping towards her menacingly. “Hand me the stones, or face the black hand of Lord Bane.”

“Use the black hand of Lord Bane to fuck yourself, Enver,” she told him, giggling. 

“Hey,” he said, in a genuine warning tone, though he'd started to laugh too. “Too far.”

But he was still laughing. She'd be the death of him one day, surely. 

“The brain is held under the city,” he told her, incredibly glad to finally have reached this step. “There's a vessel that leads to the Morphic Pool, where it feeds. I’ve a few last things to take care of first, but I'll wait for you there.”

“I'll be there,” she said, her bright eyes shining.

“Good.” He stepped closer to her. What he wanted to do to her in that moment he certainly could not with the entire Iron Counsel watching. “With the Netherstones in hand, the brain can't resist us. We will be Absolute, with an infected army at our beck and call. First, we take Baldur’s Gate—”

“Then we take Faerûn,” she continued.

“Then all of Toril,” he finished.

“Then beyond.”

Hmm. He would never cease to admire her boundless ambition. 

“A thousand kingdoms,” he said, stepping dangerously close to her, “at our command.”

She closed the final gap between them, until their bodies were pressed against each other.

“Not a thousand,” she said, looking up at him with her eager, hungry eyes. “More.”

[wispstalk]

I've mused on the avoidance of racial politics in Oblivion but never really got into the broader ideological context. since I'm on one lately, I organized my thoughts and put them under the cut. 🚨BEWARE: EFFORTPOST🚨

for those who heed my warning and scroll by, enjoy this screenshot from when I was trying to find the post I linked above:

who the fuck shaved my beautiful blog 😔

-

let's get the divine right shit out of the way

Despite the narrative at its heart, I don't think Oblivion is presenting a pro-monarchy message. No one in real life is an actual avowed monarchist anymore except for some maladjusted internet freaks, and we don't care about them, so I'm not gonna spill a bunch of ink on why feudalism sucks.

But still. Your HoK's job is to defend the bloodline, no matter how they might feel about it. If they don't, the idyllic heart of the Empire will fall to a demonically-aligned group of religious wackjobs whose only goal is wrecking shit for its own sake. Which could mean nothing.

-

the war on terror uhhh devils and stuff

From George W. Bush's public address on Sept 20, 2001:

Americans are asking, why do they hate us? [...] They hate our freedoms -- our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other.

After a sleeper agent attacks you in the street for the nth time, you might ask yourself: "Why are these people so hot to turn everything into the Deadlands? That place fucking sucks."

You don't get much insight to the Mythic Dawn. Even when you infiltrate their hideout, no one really makes a compelling case. Mankar Camoran's manifesto is full of impenetrable theological ravings (which is a fun touch, dgmw) and when you finally confront him, his justifications are pretty thin.

It is worth remarking that one character calls Camoran's writing "revolutionary." I don't think this line is intentional propagandizing. It's just the normative line of liberal democracy: revolutionaries are terrorists. Their motive is bloodthirst, and their end goal is chaos.

I wouldn't claim the demonic hordes are a stand-in for militant Islamist groups. If that had been the intent, Bethesda didn't need to be coy about it (cw: video link, breathtakingly racist).

Instead I think the Daedra represent the ambient, pervasive fear of the time. We were at war with the concept of terror itself, after all. Politicians and media outlets put aside their differences to tell the American public that we faced a profound existential threat, and we lapped that shit up.

Or some did. Despite this heartwarming feat of bipartisanship, plenty of people retained their critical thinking skills and mobilized a record-breaking international protest. Not everyone was in favor of expansionism.

-

the machinery of empire

Now it's worth looking at Oblivion's weirder and cooler older sibling, Morrowind. Though it leaves plenty of room for your character development, the plot centers at least some extant critique of empire.

(please note it's been a long time and I'm murky on the plot but) the Nerevarine begins as a Blades asset who eventually brings an unruly province to heel. The player can interpret this any number of ways, but the game is explicitly presenting foreign intervention through the character of Caius Cosades. He leaves you to it once you become a self-sustaining instrument of soft power.

Most of this has been excised in Oblivion. In fact, Ocato tells the HoK that the Elder Council is pulling the Legion out of the provinces to address the crisis at home.

It's plausible to read this as a soft criticism of US foreign policy. There are a couple threads of non-interventionist thought that dominated opposition to the Iraq War: 1) the libertarian tendency, which was hardcore isolationist and 2) the liberal-left tendency, which called for defunding the military but might favor humanitarian aid to varying degrees.

Or it could just be a throwaway line. Fuck if I know! I still find it notable that the game had little interest in riffing on its predecessor, considering that the canon events are only a few years apart. Maybe something happened ✈️🏙️ that made people cagey about this stuff.

There was certainly a nod to religion as an arm of imperialism in Morrowind as well, through the missionaries. It makes sense that this wouldn't be visible in Cyrodiil, but where Morrowind gives you an ambiguous soup of competing faiths, Oblivion offers up a nice neat package.

-

crystal dragon jesus

The evangelical Christian right had a lot of political capital to throw around in the early 2000s, and a lot of visibility thanks to George W.'s cozy relationship. Freaky fringe millenarian shit was everywhere-- like the Left Behind series, which made the NYT bestseller list a few times.

This did not go unchallenged. Plenty of people found the bigotry repellent, the lobbying was a subject of national debate, and even that bitch John McCain was briefly bold enough to level criticisms at celebrity pastors.

Pop-culture Christianity was fairly anodyne, though it pains me to admit that. A few Christian bands broke into the mainstream charts (idgaf what anyone says, P.O.D. had some bangers). The "youth pastor sitting backwards in a chair trying to be cool" meme describes a genre of guy that spawned around this time.

Being an atheist during this time was more isolating than it is these days, but for the most part, it was some relief that most Christians wanted to distance themselves from the vocal fringes.

Enter Martin, my boy, my #1 projection dolly. The catholic themes are laid on THICK with the tonsured monks and the stained glass and the "I was once a devotee of the Fuck God" reveal. But he's like, quietly religious. Humble about it, even. He expresses some doubt! But in the end, when it's really down to the wire, he kicks Satan Mehrunes Dagon's horned red ass and then his dad The Lord a dragon lifts him to the heavens wherever incoporeal dragons hang out, and all humanity is saved. Subtle 👌

--

okay enough already

It could be argued that the fantasy genre as a whole skews reactionary-- other mega fantasy hits from the time were about returning to an ideal past (LOTR) and reviving traditions of the powerful (Eragon). Oblivion slots right into this. It is philosophically small-c conservative.

That doesn't automatically mean evangelical neocon. Maybe some of the game writers or company execs were those things. I'm not making any claims like that.

But evangelical neocons were in charge of the global hegemony back then. It went right past me back in 2008 when I first played, because even though I loathed those fucking hogs, I was fresh outta high school and hadn't developed much of an eye for latent ideological currents. Over a decade later, when I picked the game up again, all this stuff was glaringly obvious.

This was the sewage we all waded in, and thus the game is just a reflection of the status quo.

I leave you with this song, which has nothing to do with Oblivion but it's funny how it aged like milk. I've been sending it to my IRL pop-punk-fan friends to torment them.

[amxthystiine]

limbus martin you say.. 👀

(MOTWE onwards spoilers)

My insane paranoid funny dramatic wannabe detective man who’s got vampire blood in him and has no fucking idea (it’s why he’s so fucking fixated on seeing justice served & why he gets concerningly violent and bloodthirsty at times, almost like he’s in a trance)

I’ve had him as an OC in general for a while now but it’s really fucking funny cause recently I have been thinking of him as a sinner, but he’s A LOT like (our) Don funnily enough 😭 (with maybe a little bit of Sinclair parallels with the slumbering bloodthirst + incredible potential to do their job well but shh)

main sin = Lust, obsessed over a specific job title of people due to seeing justice done [Detectives for him and Fixers for her], has Bloodfiend fuckery going on, probably has to kill their mentor at one point during their canto because they’ve become the opposite everything that Don/Martin stood for, etc

Except he’s very arrogant, argumentative and a show off who sees the others as below him - because to him he has to be right and if we’re talking moreso specifically Limbus lore I’m thinking of I think the guy’s be associated with K Corp because green fluid go brr & because I’m probably gonna make his Canto a murder mystery that he falls into because his promise in his contract was discovering who killed his parents (which is the reason why he’s so determined on becoming a detective - I think in this AU one would be a Seven fixer and the other a Cinq West fixer, they used to tell him tales of their cases all the time and that’s why he wants to become a detective - he wants the glory and to enact justice while also avenging his parents by carrying on their legacy)

The plot twist with him though might be that his current mentor, a Roland-style nihilistic “The City runs on suffering so my bad actions are justified because I’m doing what I need to survive and other people’s problems are not my own” bloodfiend Fixer who leads his own office (maybe a good Grade 3 or so? Idk man) tried to sire him as to force Martin to work under him (because he recognized the kid’s determination and that he was very perceptive and quick-witted) and failed, with his initial hunger being so intense he bit into his parents [might keep this plot point might change it, also lmao another Don parallel FUCK] resulting in him having to deal with Martin following him around and slowly becoming a bloodbag over time, deciding to take the kid under his wing and make him his protégée as to make the most out of the situation.

The reason why I kinda want to make HIM the murderer rather than his mentor is because I want him to just utterly implode internally, because he does a similar thing in his main lore when discovering he’s part vampire despite thinking he was the only normal person around town - because to him others are far more willing to do bad things for themselves, but his bad actions are justified to him, so if he suddenly realizes that the very thing he considers the worst thing to happen to him is actually HIS fault rather than someone else’s, he’ll realize that what he hates most INCLUDES himself, and that according to his own moral code HE HIMSELF is EVIL, so he is NOT going to be ok about that, especially while losing his mind during his canto due to bloodbag brain decay

And yes I have a possible solution to how his bloodbag transformation was so overdue - and that’s the K Corp ampule fluid, because it reverts your body to a state from seconds before, right? It can basically bring people back from the brink of death, so could it be used by said mentor to keep his transformation in check and from happening, with Martin taking some ampules when he eventually ditches the Office for Limbus Company, but they eventually run out in the time coming up to his Canto, beginning his slow descent into blood-craved madness.

Funnily enough I’d probably make his main weapon a gun (with maybe an alternative melee weapon, perhaps a small dagger???), perhaps making him the only ammo base ID, with his being one of the many things I’ve taken from that short time I played as this funny little guy in VTM,, like we know Limbus has a LOT of money in their pockets LET ME HAVE A GUN USING SINNER RAHHHH HE DOESNT EVEN NEED TOO MANY BULLETS

I haven’t decided on a logo or colour (probably a light shade of green) nor a word (probably in French considering he was French-Canadian in the VTM session I played as him and his full name is basically just Mint Martini because of his OG design 😔😔 [Martin Menthe])

God I’m insane about my attempted noir detective wannabe little guy and it’s funny cause this is the part of me that he kinda represents like he’s passion and willpower incarnate in both a good way (strong sense of justice/to his own moral code, confidence, dramatics, etc) while also in a bad way (violence/anger, overconfidence, believing so hard in his ideals being the only right ones, with these aspects of him being broken down and mellowed post/during Canto, when he does admit and realize that he too, can be as bad as he paints others in his mind sometimes)

Yes his mentor would be the final boss and yes the only reason I had insane brainrot about them was because of “It Had To Be This Way” & “Find Your Flame” 😔😔 they fucking bangs tho

Also HE’S A REALLY GOOD FOIL TO MY SELF INSERT LIKE

THE ONE WHO WILL FIND OUT THE TRUTH AT ANY COST VS THE ONE WHO’S FAKING HER WHOLE PERSONA

THE ONE WHO ACTS DUE TO HER EMOTIONS BEING CONSTANTLY IN CHECK, YEARNING TO FEEL MORE VS THE ONE WHO’S EMOTIONS MAINLY DICTATE HIS ACTIONS, DESPITE HIS LOGIC TELLING HIM OTHERWISE

but they also both are heavily repressing a part of themselves and during their Cantos this more unhinged part of themselves comes out in full force and hhhhhhh parallels :)))))))

Lust vs. Gluttony oh yeah baby woooo this shit was way too long lmaooo and I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned all the ideas I have for this little guy yet (here’s his main lore design rn)

[qpr-competition]

i think itd be fair if, after my rallying for 5, i would write a bit on Jon, as i do know and love him!

jon is, in my opinon, just about the funniest character in the magnus archives. i know fandom likes to characterize tim as the tma funnyman, and thats not fully wrong (by which i mean, not wrong as long as this is not everything he is), jon is the one who is unintentionally the funniest. he has that brand of "saying something completely seriously and it turning out to be hilarious" - notable example being "i know what a meme is". another notable example of his hilarity is "okay so the victim complained about being haunted by some supernatural spider, and his body was found encased in spiderwebs, and he has choked on some organic matter, but theres definitely nothing supernatural about this"

at the moment, best i could do is go down the traits and add context to them, because they dont really get less weird from the context.

like, the "goes for a smoke and gets framed for murder" thing? the thing is, he has quit smoking before that point - that was the first time he went smoking in years; and also the murder happened during the time he went smoking. the victim got beat to death with a metal pipe that jon could barely lift

the rib in a drawer? we knew for a bit by then that he does keep it, because we were there when a "monster" (which is a simplification, but i do not have the energy to get into it) took one out, by his own request, but we found out that its in one of his drawers at work when a coworker asks him for a pen and he tells her to look in a drawer. the other thing she finds in the same drawer is a jar of ashes of another "monster"

actually let me look up and append the quote

survivors guilt since he was a child? okay, so the explanation for that should be combined with the one for his refusal to read two books by the same author. ever since jon was a kid, he has loved reading, but reading another book by the same author, according to him, feels just the same as reading the first book - the similarity of style is too boring. so his grandma took up the habit of buying cheap books in bulk to keep him occupied. once, one book she bought was a supernatural book, and jon had started reading it, and almost died because of it - except a bully (ten years older than him, btw) knocked him down, took the book, and was going to laugh at it except accidentally started reading and, as jon was following him trying to get the book back, ended up dying - namely, got eaten by a giant spider. and that is what hes got the survivors guilt over - understandable, but also. jon. jon u were a child. that guy got what was coming for him for picking on a kid less than half his age

impromptu surgery on his coworker? so, one of his coworkers got shot with a ghost bullet of anger and bloodthirst. and would never have actually let anyone get it out. so he cut it out while, im pretty sure while shes passed out drunk??? and got stabbed for it!

also hes canonically ace and mspec

in conclusion. the magnus archives is a cool podcast and jon sims is A Character <3

Round 4, Match 14

Character 5:

Physically disabled

Thinks they’re heartless, very wrong about it

Goes by a codename

Can kill with a touch under certain circumstances

Terrible fashion sense

Character 37:

Goes for a smoke and gets framed for murder

Keeps one of their own ribs in a drawer

Survivor’s guilt since they were a child

Performed impromptu surgery on one of their coworkers

Refuses to read more than one book by the same author

Want to know more? Check out this tag for Character 5 and this tag for Character 37 and peruse the notes of the posts.

[aegor-bamfsteel]

The Dany Grievance to Rhaenyra Grievance pipeline is so real and so funny to witness lol. HOTD was a mistake, but seeing these stans basically double down on yet another Targ woman who's ending they will rage at is astounding lol.

In the Dàny fans’ defense, she’s an actual well-developed main character who isn’t a prop in her love interest’s story (contrast Rhaeneato with husband DemonStu) GRRM said she’s one of his favorite female characters (along with Arya; he admits he likes DemonStu better than Rhaeneato) along with some positive comparisons (to Nymeria of Ny Sar), she’s got an actual platform beyond self-interest (she did free slaves even if some eventually sold themselves back in), the motivation behind wanting the Iron Throne is more sympathetic (she’s never had a permanent home and her family is gone), she’s a teenager rather than a grown woman in her 30s….and also the books haven’t finished, so we don’t know her ending (though the foreshadowing of Dark!Dàny is there). Basically, I can understand why people would be fans of Dány and be upset at her ending in the show.

Rhányra, though, is incredibly flat, self-interested and entitled, cruel (torturing Tyland Lannister, feeding Vaemond’s corpse to her dragon after sending Daemon to decapitate him), doesn’t even pretend to care about the smallfolk (organizing feasts while they starved under new taxes), violent but not a warrior (Demon at least has the skills to back it up; she’s never in battle despite having a dragon), and explicitly has no platform other than status quo (she’s not changing the laws of inheritance for everyone, just so she gets the Throne). We know she ends up chased out of the city by the angry smallfolk, betrayed on Dragonstone, and fed to her brother’s dragon. The show got rid of some of her bloodthirst (still being for peace until Luke’s death when in the book she told Orwyle in response to Aegon’s offer that he either kneels to her or dies; barely being involved in Vaemond’s death and he’s made to look like more of a jerk) and gave her some excuses for her self interest (she had to have an affair with Harwin for heirs because she and Laenor tried but couldn’t! Never mind that Jace in the books was born the year of their marriage in 114, meaning she didn’t try too hard) but at the expense of making her even more bland and passive (she does like 5 things in the novella and the show already cut out like 2 of them. It takes a lot of not caring to make the thinly sketched characters of the Dance even less consistent and interesting, but HOTD writing is sinking to the occasion.) Basically, I don’t understand why there’s a big overlap in Rhaeneato (except in the “well the greens are even worse” sense) and Dàny fans, other than that she’s another Targ woman seeking the throne to which she has a disputed claim, because everything else about her is a lot different than Däny. I can understand why people are fans of a character who has a tragic end (I’m a fan of House Blackfyre partly because they end up dying due to their noble values) but the journey has to give the end pathos, and neither show nor book has given us a reason to care for Rhaeneato the way they did Dány.

[rataltouille]

LITTLE BY LITTLE

HI IM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS SILLY LITTLE STORY. it is:

a feel good lighthearted story about a bunch of kids in high school 👍

one half enemies to lovers romance, other half queerplatonic coming of age 🤨

dual storyline following two annoying siblings who will die for each other 🤱

set in chennai because i want to draw the city i grew up in and have a crisis over not having seen it enough 🤯

me deciding to compensate for my non existent final years of high school via fiction because who needs therapy tbh 🤔

BLURB

It’s Sameera’s last year of high school, and everything’s going her way: she’s a student council head, the captain of the girl’s Kho-Kho team, and she’s liked by almost everyone in her grade. Almost. Frigid, uptight Kayalvizhi, fellow council head, is the lone exception. Their first interaction was a nightmare, and while Sameera is told that Kayalvizhi’s just indifferent to everyone around her, she still feels personally attacked. So when the two of them are paired up as the cultural leaders for their school’s end-of-year ceremony, she’s more than thrilled to prove Kayal wrong by outshining her in everything. Too bad the latter’s determined to shut Sameera up by competing just as fiercely. What neither of them expects, though, is to find common ground, or to realise that the other person isn't who they thought they were, or, god forbid, actually start to enjoy each other’s company.

Anbu is a reserved kid, Sameera’s younger sibling by two years and the apple of every teacher’s eyes. Still just getting used to adolescence, Anbu is, to say the least, a bit disoriented. They’re exploring their confusing world, trying out new hobbies, grappling with their gender identity and pushing the limits of the life they’ve led so far. But right when they think they’ve got it all figured out, change hits them between the eyes in the name of Tamizh—their cool, mysterious neighbour who’s come back from Mumbai years after moving away. Anbu and Tamizh were childhood best friends, but that's childhood, and they know better than anyone else that adolescence upends everything with a rage. As the two’s rekindled friendship begins to deepen, Anbu is left questioning whether they see him as a friend, a crush, or something else entirely.

At least one thing’s certain for them all: this will be an unforgettable year.

CHARACTERS

SAMEERA. she/her, bi. annoying ass extroverted jock mf. everyones fave gremlin. needs constant love and validation or else she will perish

ANBU. they/them, trans. former sweetheart now saddled with a growing bloodthirst. going through too much all at once and is on the verge of emotional burnout.

KAYALVIZHI. she/her, trans, lesbian. moody ass introverted nerd mf. hates every single person to ever grace this planet and i love her so much actually

TAMIZH. he/him, aro. Resident Cool Kid™ except he feels very uncool and very unchill, ball of nerves just barely keeping it together. is unlearning a lot of toxic beliefs on gender and he’s doing it with style.

SO WHATS THE DEAL HERE

idk what happened in the last two years but i’ve gone from being a prose hoe to a webcomic bitch and it has been working out great for me. comics are such a brilliant format for someone who’s equal parts artist and writer and recently all my important all-consuming story ideas have been webcomic ideas and im so excited to get to make them!!

there are two parts to this story, two parallel arcs, one for each sibling: sameera’s enemies to lovers story with kayal and anbu’s queerplatonic coming of age thing with tamizh. i think the main inspiration behind this was a) bridgerton season two which was the first time i actually ENJOYED an enemies-to-lovers romance and which made me go hmm yanno what. i’m going to do the same but without british people. b) me realising that as much as i love romance and writing romantic relationships i also would like to write a queerplatonic relationship please and thank you [it is endlessly amusing to me that my favourite genre is romance despite me being aromantic lmao] and i esp wanted to try writing a qpr from the pov of the non-aromantic character, just for that extra spice!

in the very short time ive had these four they’ve taken over my brain completely and i love it so much!! im currently working to on getting the basic prep work done [character turnarounds, uniform designs, bg models etc etc] and i’ll post updates on progress whenever i feel like lmao

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

Caleb has, verbally, shown so little bloodthirst regarding the people who wronged him. He doesn’t know how he feels. He doesn’t know what he wants. He wants them to change, he wants the pain to stop. He wants to rehabilitate all these murderers under Ikithon because he was one of them and he wants to believe he’s not alone in this, he wants them to get better.

He also takes three steps into the place where he was sealed away like some kind of animal, full of simple (if skilled) guards who are so much lower on the food chain than the assassins Caleb knows... and for the first time ever he starts crushing people to death. Gone is the soft talk and hesitant hope. He asserts that they knew what they were doing. That they were not innocents.

He spent eleven years there. He can’t remember it. He also can’t think of the people who did that to him as people, whether they were actually the ones that guarded him or not.

I think Caleb’s trauma and his ability to react with extreme prejudice when confronted with it often gets underestimated both by the audience and Caleb himself. There’s a really interesting dichotomy that seems to go on with him, in that we’re constantly taken somewhat aback by these breathtaking displays of violence of his, even though they keep happening.

I realised it when we first met Astrid, actually. I don't know about anyone else, but the revelation that Caleb’s reaction to watching his parents die wasn’t running in to help them, or screaming himself, or even dissociating, but was instead attacking his peers? It surprised the heck out of me.

I don’t think anyone thought that would have been his reaction. All the pieces of fiction or art or meta about that moment that I saw assumed he had a much more passive or help oriented reaction. Even the cast themselves animated that moment as Astrid and Eodwulf stoically walking away from a silent Caleb on his knees in their own animated title sequence.

The fact that we all accepted the image of Caleb, on his knees, silently watching his family burn, is interesting to me. Because I do get why.

When Caleb is forcefully reminded of that moment of extreme grief, he dissociates. He doesn’t react violently when lost in his trauma in that particular way. Add to that that Caleb brushes over the immediate aftermath of his parent’s deaths, which makes it seem like his foggy, clouded state in the Asylum was the instant result of his trauma, and the idea that Caleb reacted passively to his parent’s deaths is a very easy assumption to make.

At this point I believe it’s also indicative of how Caleb sees himself. Caleb hates (hated?) himself, yes, but he doesn’t actually seem to see himself as a violent person. When asked to impress a high level mage from an alien culture, he chose the versatile reskinned Bigby’s Hand, Cat’s Ire. When trying to be intimidating, he uses his words, or points to his friends as threats, or uses Frumpkin as a prop.

He doesn’t seem to give his ease with violence much thought or weight in his own view of himself. I think he assumed he was passive during his years at the Sanitarium, and so therefore assumed that his “breaking” was similar. And if that’s what Caleb thought of himself, why would we think any different?

People don’t tend to think of Caleb as a fighter, least of all Caleb himself. The common view of him is that he’s a hesitant support character. He’s not someone who fans or other characters alike would easily call “bloodthirsty,” especially with him confronting and discussing the man who ruined his life and refusing to commit to killing him.

Everything about how Caleb verbally approaches these traumas shows that he’s not vengeance driven. Revenge has never been part of his game plan, never been something he cared enough to pursue. And because of that palpable lack of bloodthirsty vengeance, because of his soft spoken, cautious demeanor, Caleb is not someone who would generally be picked as having extreme, unrelenting violence as his knee-jerk reaction.

Except that’s exactly what Caleb does when backed into a corner. That’s like his biggest move. Wall of Fire and Fireballing Avantika and her crew on a hair trigger? Bleeding, on the verge of unconsciousness, out of spells, and still managing to deal the killing blow on Lorenzo because he chose violence over any other action? Opening the final fight against Obann by smashing through the window and burning half the cultists to death, because they were that desperate to get Yasha back after two failed attempts?

He woke up after eleven years of being addled, confused and not himself, and immediately killed a guard and broke out of the Assembly’s own Saitarium in the heart of Rexxentrum. He unexpectedly got stabbed by a full-fledged Scourger, and his instant reaction was to beat her over the head with a rock. 

And now, he’s infiltrated that same Sanitarium where he was kept only to flip from his desire to redeem those under the Assembly’s thumb to murdering half the people he came across in there with extreme prejudice.

His lack of interest in long-term vengeance is interestingly balanced by his frequent choices to pursue short-term retribution. It’s both his way of protecting his friends and himself, removing the threat and discouraging other threats, but it’s also, in my view, frequently an outlet for his heavily suppressed anger at the people who hurt him and his friends.

Caleb can be a good diplomat, but Caleb rarely chooses to be a diplomat. Caleb can be charming, but Caleb doesn’t like being charming. Caleb can be a good support caster, and Caleb is a support caster! But when he’s too compromised for strategy, when he stops thinking, he starts burning everything in his way. Because Caleb? He likes the way fire feels.

Caleb spent his formative years training to respond to conflict, physical or political, with lethality, and on a much more fundamental level, he is and always has been a man of action. 

He took action to get out of the Sanitarium as soon as he was capable. He took action in the Bright Queen’s throne room, made a risky ploy instead of letting them be arrested. He wanted to take action retroactively against his parent’s deaths the second he regained coherency.

Despite what we all assumed, doing nothing in the face of his parent’s deaths was never an option for Caleb, and he wasn’t taught anything that was going to help his parents once the house was on fire and the screams started. So what else was he going to do, after two years of growing into the Scourger mould? When he loses his mind, his ability to think, two of his reasons to care?

Of course it was violence. Of course it was lashing out at the people he must have thought, on some level, as being in his way. Of course it was fire. What else would it be?

And though these circumstances here aren’t the same... there are enough similarities. He’s once again in those familiar halls (in that familiar mindset) where he was treated as a weapon, nothing more. He’s with the people he loves and he knows they’re in danger, again. In fact, they’re in danger from the same people he spent eleven years feeling threatened by, that he viewed as obstacles, whether consciously or not.

He doesn’t want his loved ones to be in danger. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by the guards who he associates with his own helplessness. He especially doesn’t want those two things to go together. And he has never been able to sit idly by when he can act. But what kind of actions can he take? What can he do to get these guards away, away from him, away from his friends, out of his way, right now?

The tried and true method. Not burning, not here, not now, let’s not set a building on fire with his loved ones in it again (though it happened anyway). But no matter. He’s learned a lot of tricks in the last few months.

And hey, don’t worry, Caleb’s not angry. He’s not still working through his own pain and rage at these people. He really does want to heal, not hurt.

It’s just that these ones deserved it.

[therealvinelle]

Debunking “Jasper is only a vegetarian for Alice”

There’s this prevalent thought held by Bella, Meyer, and fandom that if it weren’t for Alice, Jasper would be out there eating all the people. He certainly used to, and he’s the Cullen who struggles the most with the diet.

In particular, there’s this paragraph in Eclipse.

It was strange. In the Cullen family, Jasper was always a little on the fringe, part of things but never the center of them. It was my unspoken assumption that he was only there for Alice. I had the sense that he would follow Alice anywhere, but that this lifestyle was not his first choice. The fact that he was less committed to it than the others was probably why he had more difficulty keeping it up. (Eclipse, page 168)

Twilight is a series where we should always pay attention to who is talking, and treat everyone as a potentially unreliable narrator.

Prior to Bella being introduced to the Cullens, Edward told Jasper to keep his distance. Then, in New Moon, we had Jasper’s infamous loss of control, which proved he can’t be trusted around her.

From Bella’s point of view, Jasper is barely there. It’s because he’s trying to keep his distance when she comes over.

Which is exactly what Edward asked of him, and certain to be of his own accord after the New Moon disaster.

Notice also her thinking Jasper is less committed than the others. 

I would wonder where she gets that from, except this is Bella swan, who doesn’t know what vampires are. She doesn’t take bloodthirst at all seriously. If she did, she would be worried about how she’ll fare against it as a vampire, but she couldn’t care less. As far as Bella is concerned, then, the fact that Jasper struggles means he’s got an attitude problem.

We the readers know this isn’t quite the case - when vampires lose control, they lose control in the literal sense. They black out. Emmett and Jasper have both been there, and newborn Carlisle got so hungry he ate something he didn’t even know he could eat. It doesn’t sound like Carlisle was home, and Emmett explicitly states that when he smelled his singers, Emmett wasn’t behind the wheel anymore. If anything, I’d consider Jasper’s tenacity a compliment to his character. It’s harder for him than anybody, and he’s still trying.

Bella refuses to get this, however, because if she did then that would mean vampirism isn’t the solution to all her problems the way she wants it to be. So, if Jasper’s got a problem with blood, the problem has to be Jasper.

So, with that out of the way, why does Jasper do the diet?

Soon after Bella’s above musing, he tells her himself.

I’m just going to quote a full page from Eclipse because he says it better than I could, and it’s better you hear it from the man himself anyway:

“I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn’t fade. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I’d hunted. 

“I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I’d lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me — this borrowed memory — than it was for anyone else, because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them. 

“You’ve experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affectme . I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey. “It began to be too much. 

“The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn’t feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing — killing anyone, even mere humans. 

“Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . challenging. I still haven’t perfected that.” (Eclipse, page 171-172)

This is not a man who’s doing the diet for Alice.

If anything, he was on track to become Carlisle 2.0. I mean it, the parallel to Carlisle’s story is strong here. Had Alice never found Jasper, he would have lost control around deer sooner or later. That, or he would have killed himself.

What’s certain is that this would not have continued indefinitely.

He was at an extreme low point in his life, too miserable to stay with his friends, caught in these desperate, doomed cycles of starving himself, only to kill again. I think suicide attempts would have been next on the agenda.

Jasper is incapable of living on a human diet. He tried, it was unsustainable. Of all the Cullens, he’s the one who can’t live on human blood. The fact that he struggles so much is merely another way in which Twilight is a pit of despair.

With this I’d like to conclude the meta on a novel concept: Alice is the one who’s doing the diet for Jasper.

(I lied: I can’t conclude on something so black-and-white. Jasper is one of the reasons why Alice is with the Cullens. She has other reasons.)

[diablo-that-first-spark]

I'm trying to figure out what kind of angel is Eli and he might be a Bravery and because Eli has two big swords and also all the demons and all of the prime evils are afraid and scared of Eli because he is the most powerful and strongest angel and he is not afraid to kill the prime evils and until Eli was exiled from The high heavens to a another universe and he was stuck on Ethan and he meets my OCS and after Eli was exiled His friend Tyrael was upset and sad to see his friend Eli to be exiled from the high heavens

Also here is a picture of Eli with his swords

(also going to make a post Soon when I get out of school and how Eli got his swords)

If it is advice you seek on how to create characters, I am happy to help! :)

However, I can only give advice on how I personally tackle the task, I cannot get inside your head. I can see our styles differ greatly, but it might still be useful to you in some way.

The allure to create all-powerful OCs who are the best at everything is always a strong one, and we have all done it before. However, with experience (ideally) comes a realization that perfect characters are boring at best, and downright infuriating at worst. Unfortunately it is a trap many people fall into, even professional writers, if the crap that is on tv and in comics lately are any indication, dear lord...

The thing is that people relate most strongly to character traits, struggles and learning. Not power levels. You bet I have no physical similarities at all with Tyrael (hell I don’t even know how to hold a sword properly), yet I relate greatly to his journey of leaving everything he knew behind and taking a plunge into an unknown new life, so that he may be able to do what he feels is right. This is a rule I always do my best to hold myself to, and I really do believe it should be a universal rule, even when one creates a character just for fun. I have plenty of “OCs” that will never see the light of day, whom I only created for fun but I did not forget to give them failings and opportunities to learn. You can still have fun while making them more human.

I take it by "Bravery" you meant "Valor", which means Eli is/was an underling of Imperius, right? Making Eli the strongest angel, when it is canonically Imperius who is the mightiest warrior, and making the Prime Evils fear Eli, even though the Evils fear absolutely no one because they are blinded by their bloodthirst and power hunger - these are a thin ice to tread on, in my opinion. If you have seen the animated short “Wrath”, you know that Archangels aren’t actually afraid of executing the Evils, but they understand (except Imperius) that killing them isn’t always the best course of action in a war.

Imagining weapons and powers is hella fun, I will never deny it. But it is even more fun to imagine how those powers would actually hinder the character, create conflicts and obstacles he has to overcome (Quiet). Or another route - make the character weak, his skills limited and then make him solve a problem creatively with only the available tools, no insane powerups (Lyndon and his limited Nephalem powers). There are two reasons why I chose to make Quiet a child in my story:

To give Inarius a proper new chance and clean slate.

To make sure he is relatable. Had he been an adult from the start, with all of the Worldstone’s power at his disposal, he would have  been incredibly difficult to make relatable or even interesting. His journey to adulthood is (hopefully) a much more human trait anyone can understand, even if the end result inevitably will be a “god among men”.

Everybody loves a hero who earned his powers. Sadly, modern day writers often do not understand this. But it is never too late to learn it. :)

Now I understand it is all advanced stuff in character writing. I get it. We all want to have fun and to try out crazy insane ideas with no restrictions or “rules”. Thankfully with more experience one can learn to combine insane fun ideas with relatability. It doesn’t hurt to strife for that from as early as you can. I’m sure you will learn, and I hope I could give some pointers. ^^

In the end, have fun, go crazy, and I wish you the best of luck with character creating! :D

2022.04.22.

[fragmentwitch]

Spoilers of higu ahead. Read at your own risk if you haven't watched today's ep. Buckle up and probably grab a drink, this is a long one.

I still am not on board with the "Satoko is the mastermind" theory... but I do believe she has more awareness about this than the other people who have come to kill Rika. By now it's getting clear that the real culprit is manipulating other characters into delusions that can only be satisfied by killing Rika. No, "Never leave Hinamizawa and you'll be happy" isn't what Ryukishi himself is pushing onto us theough the narrative-- that's simply preposterous and is a myopic way of looking at his works, which have always been fairly layered in awareness. It's too reductive otherwise and completely forsakes every character's struggle if we handwave it as one of Rena's cultlike ramblings being true.

That is what the unseen culprit wants Rika to think, they want to traumatize and deceive her into a stockholm syndrome state and hold DEATH over her head if she steps out of line. Notice how after episode 16's last bad end, and Rika just decides to enjoy her day as a normal kid, everything seems to go perfectly fine because she hasn't concerned herself with the possibility of someone going crazy and dying. It's rather odd these things go so swimmingly (at least up until the cliffhanger) right after the most heartbreaking bad ending involving her own friend.

Saikoroshi-hen (OVA and VN) is rather similar: Rika must decide for herself what to do without Hanyuu, and she was worried more about getting back to the Matsuribayashi fragment but from a normal 'pure' fragment (Hanyuu also intentionally made her dream this all out while she was comatose). Rika decides to live out her last day with her friends and it comes and goes without a hitch... until she wakes back up in the hospital. Hanyuu concludes that the 'sin' inside Rika was finally purged.

Except in Gou, we're expecting something bad from Takano in 17... but I don't think she's still our enemy.

The Deceiver

Somebody who knows Oishi and all the villagers is able to 'trick' them into believing that they must kill everyone, especially Rika. This unknown person X feeds into their delusions that Rika knows everything or is in on the curse. In other cases, they appeal to their victim directly through their fear of Oyashiro-sama.

Rena thinks if she kills everyone and then lets herself be demoned away, her dad will be happy. X knows about Rena and her dad's situation.

Satoko is told that killing everyone and sacrificing Rika will ensure she won't leave the village. Note that she is the only HS patient they have who's recovered to sanity just before the lethal stage 5, and this is shown by her lack of bloodshot eyes and maniacal bloodthirst the others have exhibited. X knows that Satoko was overly dependent on Satoshi and now clings to Rika as the only person she has left. X knows Satoko has HS and used it to manipulate her into paranoia.

Oishi thinks Rika knows the truth behind the Watanagashi cases. Uncharacteristically has L5.

Akasaka thinks he's 'helping' Rika by killing her and then himself to get the maggots out of his throat.

Akane Sonozaki kills everyone including her daughter. My best guess is that the stuff about Onigafuchi and how the villagers all have demon's blood in them, Akane is cleansing the world of their filthy bloodline. As to why or how X does this is irrelevant since every new killer is totally OOC

Kimiyoshi also thinks he's saving Rika from a cursed world or whatever. I wasn't really paying attention because I myself got annoyed at this scene being so stupidly drawn out.

Mion/Shion (no I dont recall who is who by the end of it) thinks Rika is behind the mysterious murders, but is sane enough to try protecting Keiichi from whatever is trying to get her.

Keiichi literally becomes a fuckin demon. Idk how to explain that other than handwaving it as lolinsanity.

Invariably they all have a look of glee for doing what they're doing and it is completely out of character. But notice how much Satoko doesn't WANT to do this. She's crying and screaming how much she didn't want to do what she did, that X basically forced her hand (she even killed the other 4 just so nobody would stop her. How she could have done it is irrelevant ig). Clearly, someone who knows Satoko is the most cognizant at an L3/L4 state has been feeding her a delusion that only she can stop Rika from leaving Hinamizawa. That's what best friends do, they look out for each other even if said friend doesn't think you're helping them. Satoko even mentioning she's good at injections is a confirmation the Syndrome is 'real' in Gou's lore, meaning the Clinic's secret research is still canon.

Who is X?

We can look at it from both perspectives using Umineko logic.

X is a Human:

It's hard to say if Takano is still behind it-- she preferred carrying the ritual out herself when the supposed deaths and disappearances by Oyashiro-sama would happen. This time the dates are all over the place... Rika got spawn-killed on the 12th, definitely not the 3rd sunday of June. Plus, she and Tomitake on screen always seemingly disappear and never come back... but they are never found dead, they just are totally uninvolved with most of the fragments or turn up missing and Oishi seeks them out as though they are persons of interest. In fact, she might just be the 2nd looper who got caught in the middle-- the flashback to the end of Festival Accompaniment Arc in ep16 might be hinting at her getting a potential redemption arc.

Yes, I know, she killed Rika and friends but think about it. She as a child was no different than Rika-- all these bad things happened to her and she didn't know why, she hated being alone so much she didn't even care if lightning struck her to kill her. Takano's villainy is a product of her very tumultuous childhood where she had an earnest and innocent wish to honor her adoptive grandfather... somewhere down the line as she grew, she lost the ability to feel at odds with the ethics of what she was doing. Because she'd gone through so much unfairness in life, as an adult she shrugs off what she does as "well, life's not fair and other people have done worse than me in the name of science". But even as well written as it is, plenty of people who are survivors of abuse or were orphaned typically don't become serial killers with a delusional sense of grandeur. so I wouldn't be surprised if Ryukishi wanted to use Gou as a redemption arc for Takano (as Gou means 'Karma', it would be pretty thematic I think). She and Rika did literally nothing to deserve what they were dealt. there have also been other fragments where Takano didn't kill Rika herself or the great Hinamizawa Disaster didn't occur: see Onikakushi, Watanagashi, Meakashi, and most of the 'damashi' arcs in Gou where Keiichi survived with Rena or Mion as another survivor.

X is not a Human/Witches theory:

Takano may only be a villain when the Witch(es) want her to be. Unlike in Umineko where everyone on the island is killed regardless of the order, Hinamizawa's outcomes are not always perfectly consistent. In this context, there are a few fragments that aren't much more than a variety of bad ending in a typical visual novel. The Hinamizawa Disaster, however, can have plenty of forgeries where the order of deaths don't matter since everyone is killed or only 1 person is a survivor and they either go crazy or we get an entirely different future arc.

Evil Adult-sized Hanyuu (not Featherine) isn't impossible I guess but that wouldn't make sense. In fact, it seems sort of implied Rika hasn't seen Hanyuu in years when she comments about not getting to share a drink with her like old times. In Saikoroshi, Hanyuu said that a world without her likely meant that she was satisfied with it and ascended to the land where other gods would be.

Rika may have been killed before being sent back in time, but it's just as possible a godlike being actually transported her. Remnant Hanyuu spoke as if Rika was 'allowed' to grow up a bit only for the sake of recovering her heart-- as if someone was intending on throwing her back into the loops anyway.

I don't think Hanyuu is the mastermind either. I do believe she is Featherine's piece rather than Featherine herself though. But that does dig up a lot of Umineko-logic questions I'm unable to provide answers for... such as WHAT IS THE FUCKING LOGIC ERROR and IS RIKA ACTUALLY FEATHERINE'S METAWORLD READER WHO HAD HER MEMORY WIPED (total tinfoil theory)

Thats enough rambles for today. Told you it was long. Lol

[emerald-echeveria-plant]

I feel as though I will get to or motivate myself to finish my little series of the crossover I made. So here are some things that would've happened

- Bonnet asking Ironbeard if he's a good captain. Ironbeard lies that he is so that he won't ask him again. Bonnet having an underlying feeling that he was indeed lying.

- ePiC fight scene between Octavia and Sao. Sao wins.

- Fleance trying to flirt with BEN and BEN ends up hurting his feelings with his sass.

- Cletus and Erik playful bantering with each other and might end up being possible frenemies.

- Bonnet and Haggis fist fighting

- Bonnet deciding to let Haggis live after beating the heck out of him. Lol he shouldn't have done that.

- Davy Jones cameo

- Billy and Islay knowing each other from being apart of an old crew, where they were once friends. Sorta implication they liked each other then but Islay was too emotionally closed off to start a relationship.

- Baozhai trying not to be a creep towards Flint so that he could actually like her back

- Flint slowly liking Baozhai as a friend.

- Baozhai and Flint sharing cute moments together

- Flint denying he's in love with Baozhai, even though he kinda is.

- Baozhai sharing her past with Flint. Flint kinda gets uncomfortable after she carefully describes how she murdered two families that ruined her life and mental state.

- Flint sharing a bit of his own past with Baozhai.

- Islay slowly letting herself open up emotionally.

- Islay and Billy having some of their own romantic plot line going on. Baozhai poking fun at Islay.

- "awww did someone get bit by the love bug or are you feeling all of that on your own? 😏" - Baozhai

- "oh shut up!" Islay

- The squad coming across an abandoned village. They see skeletal remains of the villagers that once lives there. Sends chills down some of their spines.

- A large beast attacking the four. Billy gets pretty messed up when trying to fight it. Islay and Flint trying their best to kill the beast. Baozhai is the one to slaughter it if it weren't for the help of her friends.

- Islay patching up Billy and they end up sharing a rather tender moment with each other.

- Baozhai having a mental breakdown about how she hates being insane and wishes she wouldn't have thoughts about wanting to hurt other people. How she misses thinking like a regular person. Flint trying his best to comfort her. It works and she's all okay again.

- Flint and Baozhai cuddling together ლ(◕ω◕ლ)

- Flint worrying he's getting too attached to Baozhai.

- Islay and Billy getting caught making out lmao

- Bonnet sharing with Leonid that he was once apart of a war. After he left said war, he made a promise to himself he wouldn't kill another man ever again. Makes it clear why he couldn't bring himself to kill Haggis in the first place.

- Leonid suggesting he may or may have not been apart of the Russian mafia.

- Erik getting revenge against Leonid for kicking his ass by cutting off his hand.

- Noëmie having to solve puzzle with Sao while they're stuck in some sort of death trap that's causing the room to get smaller. They survive and both swear to never speak of helping each other.

- Baozhai and Flint weirdly acting like a couple. You know like hugging, semi flirting, and laughing

- Archie after spying on Flint and Baozhai, finds out that they're getting too close with each other. He doesn't know what to think so he tells someone about what he saw. Archie telling Cletus about what he saw. Cletus then telling Noëmie, Noëmie then telling Fleance, Fleance than telling Leonid, Leonid telling Ironbeard, and Ironbeard telling Bonnet. It comes off as a rumor which Bonnet doesn't care too much about. He thinks Baozhai isn't truly in love with him and that its just a short-lived crush.

- Haggis on the other hand, hearing through the grapevine goes: >:O

- "One of MY crewmates was caught flirtin' with one of Bonnet's BASTARD crewmates??? Oh I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson alright >:(("

- Baozhai acting less insane and bloodthirsty.

- Her obsessive thoughts of wanting to be with Flint actually turn healthy.

- Baozhai and Flint sharing a tender moment underneath the stars.

- "I know this is going to sound weird but.. when I'm around you.. I feel sane." Which means a LOT coming from Baozhai.

- Baozhai and Flint damn near kissing only to be interrupted by Islay and Billy walking in on them.

- Islay sharing a story about how she was almost killed by Warden.

- Baozhai sharing some of her own stories and pieces about her own personal life.

- Baozhai daydreaming about being married to Flint and sailing the eitherium.

- Flint knowing he's too far in with Baozhai and doesn't know wether to back out or not. Tries to get advice from Billy but he's unfortunately stuck in same situation except it's with Islay.

- They all arrive to the cave that holds the lost treasure of the Paititi. Just as they do, so does everyone else. There's plenty of treasure but not nearly enough for two pirate crews to share it. Everyone starts fighting. Again. For like the third time.

- Bonnet getting his ass beat by Haggis again and this time Haggis almost kills him instead.

- Flint and Baozhai fight even though they don't really want to.

- Baozhai doesn't want to hurt Flint, causing her to confess that she loves him. Everyone gasps in pretty surprised and stop fighting. Flint already knew because it was damn obvious from the start.

- Flint doesn't know what to do. Does he choose a girl he's been with for a few days or possibly getting his ass beaten to death by his captain. As much as he would like to be with her, he knows he can't.

- He ends up stabbing Baozhai in the chest. It doesn't kill her but it's symbolic of him breaking her heart. (I like symbolism ok aksskskkw)

- Haggis's crew wins and take all the treasure for themselves. Bonnet's crew get beat the fuck up and head back to the ship to get their wounds patched up.

- so basically Haggis: 2 Bonnet: 1

- Octavia manages to fix everyone up then save the lives of Baozhai and Bonnet. even her own. (Goddamn she's a great doctor someone give her an award..)

- Baozhai doesn't talk or interact with anyone for a few days. She's very emotionless and empty from what happened.

- "Christ, she's never been this way before. You think she'll be okay?" - Cletus

- "Who knows. That heart break sure must've messed her up real bad, poor thing.." - Noëmie.

- "Well, it was the first time she's ever been in love before. And I guess this makes it her first heartbreak as well." - Octavia

- Bonnet now laying in his bed must of the time because of how fucked up he got by Haggis. Although he does try to be a leader for his crew. Even if it hurts for him to stand up.

- Meanwhile...

- "WHOOO WE GOT THE TREASURE! FUCK BONNET AND HIS CREW! WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES!"

- Haggis chuckling and patting Flint on the back. Essentially congratulating him for manipulating that "little harlot" aka Baozhai to get to the treasure.

- Flint getting drunk off his ass to get rid of his guilt for betraying Baozhai.

- Billy not knowing what's the future of his and Islay's relationship going to be.

- When Bonnet about to go to sleep, the twins tell him an eerie prediction.

- "Don't you think an iron plate would go well with your slumber..?" - Liliana

"Yes, to protect oneself from the demons that lurk in the shadows of your room or in your mind?" - Lenny

"It certainly would, especially when the clock hits at twelve." - Liliana.

- "uh.. no..?" - Bonnet

- "You'll bring a dark omen upon this eitherium if you don't." - Lilliana and Lenny.

- Bonnet slowly enters his room, paying no mind to what the twins told him. He never truly believed in their predictions...

- when the clock struck twelve at night, Baozhai entered his room and stabbed him to death.

- In the morning, none of crewmates couldn't find their captain. He wasn't anywhere on the ship or in his office. It wasn't until Baozhai told them of his fate, all while she laughs her ass off with her back turned to them.

- Fleance immediately wants to have Baozhai killed or thrown overboard for betraying their captain. In response, Baozhai punches him and stabs him in the shoulder with a dagger. She holds the same dagger against his neck.

- Fleance ends up getting to have a good look at her face. It's covered in many scars and damn near mutilated.

- Baozhai tells Fleance to never disrespect their captain again or he'll be the one thrown overboard.

- She tells everyone that she's had enough of this crew getting their asses kicked and that things are going to start changing now that she's in charge.

- How they'll overthrow the monarchy and make the eitherium a better place for all..

- Baozhai then demands them to get back to their stations as she walks back to her new office.

- Stunned with this revelation, the crew do as their told to not upset their new captain.

- At night, Islay is on the deck trying to smoke her pipe then Baozhai comes to join her.

- "Islay, just the person I wanted to see. Mind if I smoke with you?" - Baozhai, pulling out a cigarette

- "Um, sure." Islay says uncomfortably.

- "You know I didn't really except for myself to take over the role of captain. It just sort of happened."

- "You stabbing Bonnet to death just sorta happened..?"

- "Yes! It did. After feeling empty for so long, I couldn't help but feel a strange combination of rage and bloodthirst take over that night. I just had to put my hands on something. Anything. And watch the life drain from it's eyes. It could've been Noëmie, Leonid, or even you. Heh, yet I went with Bonnet.. He was a weak link of the crew anyway."

- "I mean I guess he was.."

- "... I just wanted to tell you something."

- "What is it?"

- "You were right. About everything."

- "... About what-"

- "Love. It is truly a terrible thing. First you feel that high of dopamine and the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach then the next.. the guy you like breaks your heart. Quite literally."

- "Bao, I know what I said but don't take that it first awful experience-"

- "First? Heh, you really think I'm going to go through that again???"

- "No, I'm just saying that-"

- "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I WON'T. I'M NEVER LETTING MYSELF GETTING BETRAYED AGAIN. FIRST IT WAS MY OWN FAMILY THEN IT WAS LETTING THAT BASTARD GET INTO MY HEAD! NO, I WON'T LET ANYONE MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME AGAIN!"

- it's takes a moment for a Baozhai to calm down but when she does. She laughs for moment before telling Islay goodnight and heading off to sleep.

- Islay was a little shaken up by that. She tries to smoke her pipe to calm down then she sees the twins.

- "This is only the beginning of her madness..." - Liliana and Lenny

- "..."

- "Fuck my life." - Islay

So yeah that's what happens! Pretty sad but I wanted to keep that rivalry of Baozhai and Flint lmao. I wanted to write this stuff out but I never go the energy to do so. I didn't want to leave the series on a cliffhanger so I made this instead. I'm sorry that I couldn't finish it. But maybe I'll end up having the motivation to do so. Someday.

[werezmastarbucks]

c a r e

kai parker x reader brutal fluff oneshot

Kai’s bleeding out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

word count: 1920

warnings: language, mentions of suicide, kind of au

You opened your eyes and winced, closed them again and decided to smell the room first. It’s been a while since you got hit on the head last. In fact, the last heavy blow that might have been dangerous for you, you received here, in Mystic Falls, five years ago. Outside this wretched town, danger was virtually non-existent. All the crap always happened here. Did you really have to come back, did you, really? There went your silent rant as your feelings were coming back to you, the tips of your fingers stinging, your limbs, sore, and the smell of burning curtains in the air. The sun was on your face, burning the cut somewhere on your forehead. You lifted your hand and touched it gently, still keeping your eyes closed, and put your finger in your mouth. Blood.

You sat up carefully, and looked around.

“Anybody alive?” you called. The house seemed to be empty. A slender streak of smoke came out of the fireplace. You pictured the last thing you saw before you blacked out: Liv Parker, her great mane of blonde hair waving and messed up, with her arm outstretched, screaming some latin shit in your face. All they ever said while chanting sounded like intricate swearing, honestly. Then, you got up on your feet and started assessing the room, sure that there’s supposed to be something else.

There he is! Another Parker, the psycho one, laying on his back, his white shirt soaking in blood. In a flash, his life ran before your eyes. You thought of the way he spoke to you and that article you read about the night he killed his family, and how there’s so much more to it.

You sprinted to him – well, walked, fast. He was going pale, losing the color, becoming like the shirt he was wearing. When he didn’t talk, and didn’t roll his eyes around, he looked almost like a child, almost quiet. You tried his neck – if there was pulse, you didn’t catch it, because your hands started shaking. After all he’s done, where he’s been and everything he’s seen and was about to see, that was not the way he’d go. Stabbed in the stomach with a poker? Please.

“Can you hear me?”

You looked around and took off your own jacket, pressing the wound in, and the blood started coming even faster, like you were squeezing a lemon.

“Shit”.

You felt for the phone and didn’t find it. You tapped his jeans and pulled his iPhone out, calling for the emergency services. The lady’s voice startled you because you got distracted immediately as you were trying to close that huge hole in his abdomen.

“What’s your emergency?”

“I- I’ve got a guy here who’s very stabbed, he’s like bleeding out”.

“What’s your address?”

You spat out the Salvatore mansion address, deeply surprised you had it carved somewhere on the wall of your skull; his blood was hot, which was probably a good sign, right? His face was glistening with sweat, and your palm was warm on his cheek. You bent over Kai, putting your ear very close to his face, and it sounded like faint breathing.

“Is he awake?”

“No, he’s out, and he’s getting very pale”.

“Okay, I’ve dispatched the car, they’re going to be there in fi-ive-minutes”, the girl said reassuringly.

“Thank you, what do I…”

“How much blood is there?”

You threw the phone on the floor and put her on speaker. The boy was dying. It was funny to think that! He’s died like a bazillion times back in his prison world, by his own confession. When you asked him which way to die was the worst, he said that was relative. The first might have been the most stressful because he really thought he was going to end it all.

As a suicide survivor, you knew what it felt like, and you thought, did I look like this? If someone stumbled upon me that day, would they see what I’m seeing now, a kid whom you want to save? You got such a dire desire to save his life, regardless of how he’ll pay you, you stopped listening to the 911 girl. Damon’s gonna be so pissed, you imagined with a smirk. He was dying, you should have just left him there! Such a convenient disaster which solves the Parker problem and takes out the biggest pain in the ass of all.

Then you looked at his face again, and realized that even through his morbid sleep, as he bleeds out with his arms outstretched, he knows no one cares about him. He knows he’ll die without making a single person ever care about him.

“Are you there, miss? Are you resuscitating?”

“Uh, yeah”.

You hit him in the chest.

“Wake up!”

His head moved as you pressed on the jacket again, like he was stubborn to get up.

“You need to do the heart massage, five times, then mouth to mouth”.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m doing that”.

Your wrists were hurting from how much you were trying to get him to breathe.

“Come on, you’re magical moron, you gotta help yourself”.

Aren’t witches supposed to die harder? Or is it already harder than normal? How much blood is Kai Parker supposed to lose until his headstrong soul finally decides it’s not worth it?

You hit him in the chest with two fists, trying to knock through the ribs and straight to the heart.

“What is that sound?” the girl asked. You puffed and hung up on her, threw his phone away. Kai’s eyes swung open and he stared up as his mouth opened slowly in the grimace of pain.

“Hey! Yes! Can you see me?”

Kai’s eyes shifted to you, irises huge like two black moons.

“Don’t die yet”.

“Am I?” he whispered.

You pressed the jacket again, and he moaned. Your hand twitched, fingers spreading in the gesture to comfort, and laid on his shoulder.

“Not yet. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you”.

He took a very careful breath, like a sip of hot tea, with his mouth.

“Why?”

You thought for a second. Why? Is he stupid? Is he a child? Why? Why do people hate him? When he’s spread here like a fish, sweating through his clothes with freezing blood, white like a sheet, helpless like a kitten, human more than anybody else. Does loathing apply? Where’s the set of moral rules? Does him being a first-class Kai Parker apply?

“By default”, you offered. He looked through you, almost transparent, like a veil with eyes.

“Hold on, dude, this is too embarrassing for you”.

“Agree”.

You felt his hand move next to your thigh, and let your fingers crawl to his palm. It was losing heat.

“Heal yourself”, you pulled his hand and put it on his chest. “Come on, witch. If I had anything, I would help you”.

He turned his head to the side slowly, and the apple in his throat rolled grievously.

“It doesn’t work like that”, you rather read it on his lips than heard.

“Yes, it does. Heal yourself”, you squeezed his hand. There was the sound of wheels screeching in the yard.

He turned his head back and gave you a look from under his brows. The eyes refused to go unblack, and it felt like all the color from his body was draining right through them.

“Don’t let me die, Y/N”.

People were running through the corridor, certainly getting very hyped by spectacular destruction in the house.

“Over here!”

The doctors appeared in the living room, blue jackets and gloves, and you were pulled from Kai, letting go of his hand. You couldn’t see if he blacked out again as they surrounded him, velcros scratching and voices filling the space.

“Are you hurt?” a man appeared before you. You looked at him dumbfounded as he reached for you with a piece of white wool in his fingers. The cut on our forehead stung.

“What the hell happened here?”

“Family dinner”.

______________________________________________________________

“Is he going to make it?”

“If he’s strong”, the nurse replied. The doctor left the emergency room and raced past you, his hands covered in blood like in a movie. You sat on the chair prepped against the wall, and realized you had nothing to do here. It’s not like you’re going to sit here like a girlfriend while they operate on him, or call the time of death. Caring and solidarity is all sweet and good, but let’s not get carried away. This man tried to push you down the stairs like yesterday to create a distraction. He wouldn’t think a second before gutting you if he needed to. That’s how he made it so far, actually.

You left the hospital, walking slowly towards the bus stop and looking at the cloudless blue sky. Then your phone rang, and you realized it was in your back pocket all this time, and Damon was going to be real furious. For a second there you hoped Parker doesn’t make it so that you don’t have to go through mental beating. You tried to think of one way he can still be useful to the Mystic Falls folk and therefore eligible for preserving.

______________________________________________________________

They said, you saved that fucker, you babysit him.

You tried to explain that the majority of work was probably done by the doctors who closed his bleeding wound, and the said fucker’s impeccable will to live no matter what. The guy has that precious survivor’s gene that cannot be pulled out.

But while he’s in the hospital, he’s technically unmonitored, and somebody has to be there when he wakes up. To cuff him or whatever and let Damon know so that they know where he is. With too many Parkers still alive and running around it’s dangerous to let Kai just roam. It’s like, what was the point of all that fuss in the living room? you asked. Exactly, Y/N, Caroline said. Exactly. You were stunned by their bloodthirst. It’s all understandable though – and, at the same time, no. Klaus was free and happy living in Tyler’s fucking house. Katherine was alive and sleeping like a baby somewhere in the old Fell crypt. Rebekah was having the time of her life pretending to be a college student at Whitmore. These were all un-people who commited unspeakable things and hurt all of you personally. Everybody seemed to have come to terms with the fact that they’re here to stay. What made this one different, except eating too much?

You sat in a comfortable armchair in his hospital room like a disgruntled mum, waiting for him to wake up, but the little criminal took his time.

On the day he finally woke up you lost your patience and walked to him, laying in bed. He slept, and slept like a baby, like he was in a witch coma, face peaceful and open, almost good for conversation.

“Here’s one you missed on while you were kicking it in prison”, you said, putting your airpods in his ears. You found it personally quirky that you could torture him with your music while he was out.

You turned the volume down and returned to your chair, listening to the song in your head as the dot on your screen was crawling right.

Summer has come and passed The innocent can never last Wake me up when September ends

[turtletotem]

Morph

For the “transformation” prompt, an Animorphs AU! I gave up on getting it all finished today, so part two will follow soon.

Charles and his friends had been through a lot of awful stuff, since the night they found a crashed spaceship and a dying alien. The night they learned their world was under attack, and received from the dying alien's hands their only weapon against the invaders—the power to morph. Morphing gave them the ability to take animal forms that were a thousand times more dangerous than their fragile human bodies, forms that hid their true identities from the Yeerks and let them absorb unbearable damage that would simply vanish when they de-morphed. Since that night, they had all endured amounts of pain, terror, guilt, and strain that probably should have killed them.

It hadn't killed them yet, but it had warped all of them—sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Charles's sister Raven had once cared too much about having the best hair and the most fashionable clothes, about being pretty and popular; now she was a fierce, unstoppable fighter whose bloodthirst scared them all, even if they wouldn't say it. Erik, who had always been sharp and steely, was ruthless and pragmatic to a fault, now—except how could it be a fault if it kept them alive, kept the human race alive and free?

And Hank… poor Hank suffered more than any of them, trapped in morph as a gorilla. Barring a miracle, he would never be human again. If only he'd been in a smaller, less exotic morph, the day that he couldn't get to safety until long after the two-hour deadline, perhaps he could have still been among people in some way—someone's dog, a wild bird, something. Instead he had to remain entirely hidden, entirely dependent on the rest of them for everything. And any wounds he sustained in battle had to heal the hard way.

As for Charles himself, he had nightmares all the time now, flashbacks—not so much to the terrible things they'd endured, but the terrible things they'd done. All the bloodshed and suffering, the lies and secrets. Was it worth it, if they succeeded? What about if they failed?

All of which made it very easy to forget that morphing could also be fun.

Charles's claws clicked over the floor of the candy shop, a tiny noise to go with his tiny mouse body. Mice were nervous, hypervigilant little creatures, but Charles was an old hand at controlling the little rodent's instincts. Mouse morph had turned out to be almost as useful as his tiger battle-morph, if for very different situations.

It was also sort of neat. Charles couldn't say exactly why he enjoyed being so small, making his way through a world grown suddenly massive around him. Chairlegs like redwood trees, jellybean containers like granaries, expanses of black-and-white tile like the surface of an alien world. It made him think of a dollhouse, except that was exactly backwards. It was as if he was the doll.

Outside the shop, he knew Erik would be getting impatient. More accurately, he would be getting worried, and masking it with impatience. It had taken Charles longer than he expected to get into the building; he supposed he should have expected that a candy store would be fortified against mice. Mice with human intelligence, however, were not so easily stopped, and Charles had finally made it inside, tick-tick-ticking across the whimsical tiles toward the security system keypad on the wall.

Up, up the enormous furniture, claws scrabbling and nose twitching at the tantalizing scents of candied fruit, peanut butter and sugar, sugar, sugar—No, no time for a snack. Charles pulled his attention back to the keypad, which he could just barely reach by climbing the display of licorice behind the cash register. It had taken three weeks of surveillance to get the code, and Charles had repeated the numbers until he heard them in his dreams. Now he typed them in, throwing the weight of his entire body against the buttons.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. And—boop, the security system disengaged.

<You're clear,> he called to Erik.

Within a minute, the lock on the front door turned and the door opened. Erik was terrific at anything machinery-related, including lockpicking, and that had come in handy just as often as mouse morph.

"Took you long enough," Erik muttered as he crossed the shop. "Are you all right?"

<Of course I am.> Charles crawled into Erik's extended hand, snuffling instinctively at his fingers, which smelled like Cheet-os.

"Of course you are." Erik rolled his eyes. "Are you going to demorph?"

<No. I've still got an hour and a half, and I'll have to reset the alarm when we're done, and go out the same way I got in.>

Erik grunted and slipped Charles into the front pocket of his jacket, over his heart. Charles could feel it thudding gently behind him. It was silly for him to enjoy that so much, but he did.

They slipped into the shop's back office. Charles had wondered if they would need to look for false drawer-bottoms, hidden safes—but no, the candy shop owner kept the paperwork for his activities with The Sharing right in his normal file cabinet, in a folder marked The Sharing.

"My mother's gonna kill this guy if she ever realizes how careless he is," Erik said lightly, pulling out the folder and turning on the nearby lamp so they could see what it contained.

<Not your mother,> Charles corrected.

Erik didn't reply, and Charles didn't push it. The woman everyone thought of as Edie Lehnsherr was a high-ranking member of The Sharing, the "community engagement" organization the Yeerks used as a front to gather hosts. Erik's mother was a Controller, a prisoner somewhere inside her own brain while a Yeerk lived her life. Cooked in her kitchen. Volunteered at her synogogue. Kissed her son on the forehead. If joking about "Edie's" ruthlessness against her subordinates kept Erik from losing his mind, Charles wasn't going to stop him.

"Here," Erik said after a minute. "That's what we need, right there." He took out his phone and took pictures of the pages. The pictures would be deleted later, once the information on them was memorized; they'd all adjusted their phone settings to prevent anything entering 'the cloud.' They couldn't be too careful.

<Anything else interesting?>

Erik flipped through the rest of the folder, taking one or two more pictures, but there really wasn't much they didn't already know. The candy shop owner was pretty new to The Sharing, and his Yeerk wasn't especially high-ranking.

<He might have more later,> Charles said.

"I was just thinking that," Erik said, a hint of excitement in his voice. "The guy shouldn't be able to tell we were ever here. As long as he doesn't change the alarm code, we can come back…"

But on their way out of the office, that all went wrong. In the dark shop, glancing over his shoulder, Erik ran right into a display.

A dozen different kinds of candy cascaded to the floor with a sound like an avalanche. Jars shattered, shelves flipped, boxes tumbled, and Erik's foot slipped on a bag of gummy bears. He fell hard, managing to turn so as not to crush Charles in his pocket.

<Are you all right?>

"Are you all right?" Erik asked at the same time. He sat up, surveyed the damage, and started swearing. "Do you remember what all this looked like? Can we put it back together?"

Charles crawled from Erik's pocket onto his shoulder, and surveyed the damage with a mouse's superior night vision. <Too many things are broken. We could work all night and he'd still know someone was here.>

More swearing. "Fine. Fine. Okay, then. This is what we're doing."

Erik crouched down and began scooping candy into his jacket.

<Erik… are you stealing candy?>

"Yep. Gosh, this poor guy. Some idiot kids broke in and robbed his candy store. Stuff like that happens. No reason to think they went anywhere near his file cabinet, though, right? Idiot kids stealing candy don't care about The Sharing's secrets."

Charles couldn't help laughing. <I'll help. You need to take enough of a haul that no one will question the story.>

He hopped off Erik's shoulder onto the floor and demorphed. Only when he was standing barefoot on black-and-white tile did he remember that neither of them had brought any clothes for him. He had planned to stay a mouse.

"Well, you're not gonna be able to carry much," Erik said dryly, looking him up and down.

Charles knew he had to be blushing. This wasn't exactly the circumstances under which he'd imagined Erik would first see him naked. Not that it was appropriate to think about that anyway. Erik could never feel that way toward him.

"Chilly in here, isn't it," Erik said with a smirk, and Charles gasped in outrage and turned away, covering his chest.

Erik snickered, and returned to filling his pockets with taffy and gumballs. "Get that bucket over there, start filling it up."

Charles dashed over to the bucket of lollipops, pulled out the styrofoam filler that kept them upright, and started sweeping chocolates, gummies and packages of Pop Rocks into it. The display cases under the cash register were full of chocolate truffles—was it locked?

Another horrible avalanche crash, and Charles jumped out of his skin, whirling around.

Erik grinned at him from the wreckage of a second display. "Verisimilitude."

Charles rolled his eyes. "Come help me get the truffle case open. They're my favorite; if we're going to steal candy I want truffles."

Erik, cramming packs of jellybeans from the second display down his shirt, joined him at the truffle case. He poked thoughtfully at the lock, then reached for a huge novelty lollipop. "Stand back—"

"Don't you dare!" Charles swatted the lollipop out of his hand. "You'll get glass in the truffles!"

"Oh my gosh, say that again. Come on, say it again, you sound so adorable when you say 'truffles' with that accent—"

"Shut up! Just open the lock!"

Erik squeezed past him to the cash register and pulled a key off a nail. "There. All the truffles your heart could desire."

Charles opened the case, grabbed one of the cardboard boxes used by the cashiers, and filled it to the brim with every flavor of truffle, stopping to sample his favorites. "Mmm!"

"Hedonist. You have chocolate on your nose," Erik said, grinning, and stepped forward to wipe it with his thumb.

For a silent, inexplicable moment, they stood there together, Charles's pulse pounding and his mouth full of chocolate, Erik's sleeve brushing his bare shoulder.

"We should go," Erik said, turning away abruptly. "We'll have to set off the alarm, for ver—versim—what I said before. Idiot kids would only have time to grab so much before they ran for it."

"I've got to morph again," Charles said. "Can't run out there like this."

"Back in my pocket you go, then."

They re-armed the security system, put mouse-Charles in the hood of Erik's jacket—all his pockets were full—and Erik went out the door, carrying the bucket and truffle box. The alarm went off behind them as soon as the door opened.

Mission accomplished.

[lurkingteeth]

Look away, kids and friends! Maws is having a fucking breakdown!! :)

I fucking hate my life I hate everything I’m always teetering on the edge of what little sanity I can pretend to have, sure our cool and joy is genuine but look how fucking close our neat and tidy bliss is to the abyss. I want to die. I want to die now, but that’s against our rules! We always follow the rules :) except no matter how strictly we follow them we still end up here because of a fucking video game. Stupid fucking doctor had us lower the dose of antidepressants to see if we can avoid some nasty side effects that drive me crazy but I go crazy without the pills anyway so what’s the fucking point? Just wait till all these new cool friends you love so much see you like this. Maws isn’t so fucking sweet and innocent he’s just disciplined for the most part but no matter what he’ll always lose control at some point and they’d better stay away when it happens. I don’t care right now. I really don’t. I’m smart enough to know I should stay away from them for my caring future self’s sake, but if one approaches me they get one warning that talking will get ugly and if they choose to listen I’ll gladly spill all the ugly blood in their face and they’ll see. The Deep Maws Lore™ that we joke about. It’s a deep fucking Deep Wound™ that never seems to heal fully cuz just the smallest movement of a muscle will tear it right open but if I don’t move I might as well die I can’t just live in a vacuum of perfect happiness so instead we live trying to work around this gaping hole. They wanna know their good pal Maws? We’ll tell them the official story, but I won’t hesitate to give them the director’s cut with all the nasty details if someone asks why he’s hurting.

Oh, Heart wouldn’t like me being nasty, would he? He’s so nice I really despise him right now. It’s probably envy that he’s so fucking happy with our life but what do I care.

I’m constantly running simulations of what those sweet little people from that server would think reading this. Oh I’m sure you’ve got your nasty sides too, but don’t try to tell me we’re on the same fucking level, you wanna know some Deep Dark Lore? I tried to kill my mom in her sleep when I was 11. She wasn’t the best mom or anything but that was in no way self defense. It was bloodthirst and curiosity. And this “Heart” I mentioned? You know nothing about Maws. Did you ever wonder why the name is in plural? Did you think it was just a cutesy nickname or something? I’m not even sure half of you know it’s a word at all. Maws isn’t even a person. “He” is a system of alters, AKA multiple personalities. Heart is that sweet lovely caring guy you’ve talked to like 90% of the time and the other 10% were probably Kim. I’m not them. I’m Taciturn. I haven’t been given much time in the front lately on account of my destructive tendencies, but we don’t always have a lot of control over this. Last time we knew I was out, I cut the poor body. I’ll try not to do it again but oh do I want to hurt it. I could beg them to let me hurt it. Or I could hurt you, hurt our sweet little friendship, to hurt them. If you’re reading this, it’s probably already hurt. Heart tells me he has faith in you, and I’m sure he’s got a point. You probably pity us more than you hate us, but I could make you hate us. Must of us are very good at making people feel how we want them to feel. You liked us, didn’t you? Grew quite fond of Maws? Quirky, sweet, funny Maws? Heart’s work is impressive, but I’d much rather show you something hideous. I want so badly to send this to the people he cares the most about. Heart did say you deserved to know our secrets after all... Now tell me, Heart, what wouldn’t they forgive? Can I just tell them about how we tried to kill another kid at age 9, the several planned murders at and the nazi phase at 12, and how Grin and I so longingly dreamed of torturing and killing people through most of our teens? Or do I have to actually do something to them? Speaking of which, why don’t I just go get us permanently banned from your favorite place in the whole world? Just go harass people real quick and bad enough no one trusts you? Wouldn’t that be nice? Then you could just die. Just cut everyone off and then DIE! WHY CAN’T WE JUST DIE?!

Yours forever, at least until we die

-Taciturn

Edit: set a link to this as his discord status. Please dm him to let him know you read ;)