#he's going to have to gain at least some comfort with giving and receiving love

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've always felt that it'd be Killua who initiates the first hug we see between him and Gon

[timmydraker]

Tim calls a family meeting and everyone is assuming he’s got a big case he needs help with, which is alarming for someone who refuses to admit that some cases are beyond him.

So, everyone shows up at the cave only to be ordered upstairs by Alfred. For those who only showed up to make fun of Tim for needing help, this is confusing because case work ain’t allowed upstairs.

All do them figure out quickly that this means it’s not to do with Gotham or Ref Robin, but the man behind the mask.

Bruce and Dick were there first and because Damian is always with one of them, so is he.

Steph picks up Barbara and Cass, with Duke already at home and Jason showing up at the same time as Kate and Lucius.

When they all get into the lounge room used for when people are over, just two doors down from the actual family room, they all find themselves chatting casually as they stave off their own worries or confusion. Some of them try find out if anyone knows what’s going on, but when Alfred and Barbara reveal they have no idea, they give up and make a few guesses but no more.

When Tim finally comes in after Alfred received him, he looks tired.

It’s not usual for Tim to get distracted with work and not sleep for a while, but he will conk out for hours when he decides to and wake up alright.

The bags under his eyes, the redness within them, and the way he looks close to tucking himself into a ball…

Bruce is immediately leaning forward, opening his mouth to make sure his son is okay but Tim just raised a hand to silence him. “Just… just let me speak, okay? I need to do it now or I’m not going to be able to.”

Everyone gives him a nod or look of understanding, making him twitch a smile before inhaling deeply and psyching himself up.

“I have cancer.”

…

Nobody speaks as Tim exhales shakily.

Everyone is staring wide eyed at the young man before them, who just reached the legal drinking age, and trying to asses his physical form for an understanding of what he just said. They’re all trying to gain X-ray vision to see exactly what is hurting him all while trying to convince themselves they heard him wrong.

Tim closes his eyes and speaks automatically, leaning into facts like he always does when he’s freaking out, “I noticed I was getting by more tired and fatigued around last year. My doctor said I have a low white cell count but he wasn’t alarmed as it was still in the normal range. But a few months ago I started to note that bruises were taking far too long to heal and I was getting a lot of pain around my joints and bones.”

He inhaled again, shakier than before at the same time that Alfred sits himself down with a hand over his mouth.

“It’s stage 2 and because of my lack of a spleen it’s going to be a harder process for treatment but fortunately I own a medical company so there’s that at least.” He makes a sort of joking smile that falters immediately, falling into a pulled back frown that comes with someone whose about to sob as he adds, “But it’s also aggressive so I-I don’t know how-how to-fuck-“

Dick and Cass are immediately moving off the couches they are on and catch him as he finally crumbles into himself.

Bruce is next to follow, the stoic man openly crying for the first time in years.

Jason and Damian are in shock, both frozen in place as dread takes over their minds.

Steph is looking out the window, as if staring at some kind of his or deity and demanding an expiration as to why they have to hurt her loved ones so badly. She’s crying, but it’s silent which is all the more harrowing.

Lucius places a hand on Alfred’s shoulder to comfort the elder even as he himself itches to go comfort the young boy who helped him run the company when he was at his worst.

Kate leaves the room to go call Bette, needing her mentor because this is just something she can’t handle.

Duke is sobbing into his hands as he leans into Barbara’s lap. Barbara who is clinging to him like a lifeline as she feels her world shift once again, feeling so angry and confused at how one of them could be threatened like this. Of all the ways they could go out, was it really going to be cancer?

It was a harrowing experience for all of them to remember that they were human in more than just their flesh being able to bleed and be wounded, but for it to grow sick. For it to age and attack itself.

They were human at the end of the day and Tim…

In Metropolis, Clark Kent rushed into the bathroom at his work to throw up as he heard a conversation miles away.

[monstersholygrail]

In The Darkness

Shadow demon x fem!reader— sensory deprivation, multiple orgasms, bondage (cuffs), groping, fingering, oral (f!receiving), p in v sex, finger sucking, aftercare

Your shadow demon bf had opened your eyes and welcomed you into a whole new world of pleasure that was just waiting to you both to explore. And you have. You’ve done things you never thought you’d enjoy due to the love and trust you have in your bf. In return you’ve gained so many new experiences that you’d never want to take back.

At this point you’ve pretty much stopped asking questions whenever your shadow demon bf proposes that he wants to try something new with you. But this time you think you have to ask some questions.

Because when your shadow demon bf tells you that he wants to fuck you in complete darkness, you’re insanely confused. Sure, you two have never done that before. Always having on at least a candle so that you can see each other as your bf fucks your brains out. But this is far from the craziest thing you two have ever done and it’s left you having no clue what’s going on.

Still, you trust your bf. You follow his exact instructions and you relish in the submission of it. Of letting go of all thought and action, your bf’s voice being your only guiding light. Especially as the darkness surrounds you and it’s the only true thing you can grasp onto.

Tingles shoot up your spine. A smirk begins to play on your lips as you realize the possible appeal. A eery chuckle shifts through the darkness and you jump as a moment later two clawed hands firmly grip onto the waist of your bare form. The prickly tips of sharpened claws caress up and down the curve of your stomach, leaving sparks in their wake.

“What a vision you are in the darkness, my heart. Now do you see mine?” Your bf’s haunting yet alluring voice whispers in your ear. Goosebumps rise along your skin and your smile widens, getting a sense of his intentions with this newest request.

His touch as gentle as the wind, coursing through the pathway of your body till he reaches your breasts and the caress turns firm and purposeful. Groping you and pulling you tightly into his large chest. Your grasp rings out through the dark silent space. It’s echos vibrating and increasing the tension between you.

Leaning back into the comfort of his embrace, you moan. Nothing else to turn to, to focus on, besides his touch. Bringing the sensations to a new height till you’re writhing against him before he’s even done anything to you.

“Near total sensory deprivation, the only real thing being my voice. All of your senses now completely at my mercy,” Shadow demon bf rasps darkly, finally giving you some of his reasoning behind all this.

You have to admit that the idea of it is arousing and your body agrees as your pussy floods with your essence. Always so nice and wet for him, you can’t help it. Everything he says has your nerves standing on edge and your cunt fluttering and begging to be filled.

Careful claws tease and tweak at your nipples, whimpers escaping you as you tremble in his secure hold. You cry out, rubbing your thighs together to gain any semblance of friction you can get. Yet it’s not enough, your hole so achingly empty and needing to be stuffed full. Your mind grows foggy and centers in on this one desperate thought.

“Lost in the void and who is the only thing that can ground you?” Shadow demon bf whispers into your ear again, his forked tongue slithering out and licking along the smooth curve of your ear.

The sensation is quick, tantalizing, and gone far too soon. You whimper, leaning back into him. Your body, floating as if on cloud nine, seeking out that skilled tongue of his. Knowing with every fiber in what’s left of your present being that you’ll get it. So long as you’re good for him.

“You are,” you croak out, voice weak and wanting.

A low rumbles moves through your bf’s chest in agreement, clearly pleased with your willing and eager response. The loss of his touch on your breasts, on your hard nipples, is a hit your floating mind can barely handle. A loud whine escaping you until his cool touch returns, moving along your curves. The further down he goes the less you can breathe, simply waiting.

“That’s right, my starlight,” he says as his deft fingers dip into your folds, spreading them and spearing themselves along your slit. Your breath knocks out of you, exhaling heavily as he ignites the nerves of your pussy lips. They clench and contort around him, mindlessly guiding the digits to delve inside your hole.

Shadow demon bf chuckles at the feeling, causing your cheeks to tinge with red. Thankful that even if he can feel you, he won’t be able to see you in your lewdness. Another thing the darkness around you provides. Another thing you’re looking forward to. Your bfs voice and the slow glide of his fingers snaps you out of your thoughts.

“You overwhelm me, sweet one. You are all I feel and all that grounds me to this plane. I believe it’s time I repay the favor.”

Shadow demon bf’s fingers don’t leave you as his other hand guides you to bend down at the waist. Your own arms reach out, carelessly searching through the darkness until you find it. Fingers curl around the metal cuffs suspended in front of you. The click of each lock as they enclose around your wrists has your back arching, bracing yourself for what’s to come.

“Look at you, so good and ready for me,” Shadow demon bf mumbles, drawing lazy circle against your clit as he kneels down on the ground behind you. You whimper and push back, though his free hand is quick to grab at your plush thigh. Keeping you in place.

His keen eyes reflect in the darkness, giving him access to view everything in front of him. Yet you remain completely clueless. Just how he wants you. Your legs spread further as his fingers slide back down your slit, giving him the sight of your beautiful dripping pussy. Your essence dribbling down your thighs and making such a mess. A mess he’s more than ready to clean up.

In an instant that tongue you’ve been waiting for is back and it’s back with a vengeance. Your body jolts, cuffs clanging and ringing in your ears, surprised by the sudden slick texture of his forked tongued sliding along your thigh and pushing through your folds. Not having expected more than his touch at the moment. The darkness riding you of knowing what’ll happen next.

Though your anticipation doesn’t have time to build as shadow demon bf glides his tongue through your folds, swirling around your clit in a mind-numbing manner. You moan, body rolling into the sensations but not knowing where exactly to move. Leaving you to squirm in search of your bf.

Shadow demon bf grins viciously and you can feel it against your cunt, knowing his enjoying this. Loving how you struggle and silently beg for more of him. His hands shift to your hips, both keeping you in place and letting you know where he’ll be.

All you get in warning is a growl before your bf begins ravaging your pussy, sloppily lapping up your cunt. His hands spread your ass cheeks, widening the entrance for his tongue to slide deep inside your weeping pussy. Pressure weighs down in your belly as your pleasure builds, rising onto your toes and giving him better access.

He grunts his thanks and repeats his rhythm with precise precision and never ending stamina. He doesn’t stop fucking his tongue into your cunt until you explode around it. Your walls clenching around his tongue, your essence gushing onto his tastebuds. Shadow demon bf growls and unhinges his jaw, taking in every last damn drop and working you through it.

Both of you are breathing heavily as your orgasm begins to fade and your bf leans back. You still can’t see, hear, or feel anything beside the cold metal around your wrists. The only noise your breaths. Aside from that the silence stretches on and it has the hair on the back of your neck standing up straight.

“Ready for more?” Your bfs voice suddenly growls in your ear and you shout. Body jerking back and you immediately bump into his broad frame and right into his huge girth. His erection nestling against your ass.

Your eyes scatter and search the surroundings over the shoulder you hear him from but you can’t see anything. Only darkness. Before you can respond your bf crashes his lips against yours and you let out another muffled shout. But you respond without a beat of hesitation, opening your mouth and welcoming his tongue back inside your body. Both of you moaning into it as your cum tickles your own tastebuds.

Shadow demon bf’s cock slowly starts grinding into you, neither of you breaking your kiss. You stay perfectly still for him, keeping yourself wide open and needy for his length. Still not getting your fill of wanting to be split in two.

With your body all prepped for him, your bf guides his dick through your folds. Whimpers leaving you as his tip bumps into your sensitive clit. Your bf nips at your tongue affectionately before you feel his big mushroom tip, leaking heavily with pre-cum, push at your entrance.

With a simply push forward, your bf breaks past your entrance, sinking down into your eager sopping cunt. Your jaw drops, a loud moan lights the room up with noise as his cock stretches your walls for all their worth. Forcing its way in and demanding you submit to its sheer girth and the pleasure it’ll bring. You relax as much as you can, practically sucking him inside of you.

Shadow demon bf growls, your walls nearly suffocating him you’re so fucking tight. When he bottoms out his tip nudges at your cervix. The pain sharp and aching but so delicious. You close your eyes, basking in it all. You feel so full and so complete with him inside you.

Your breaths mingle and mix in the space between your mouths. Eyes open you continue trying to search for your bf in the dark, even knowing it’s useless. Wanting to see how much of a mess you make him and even maybe wanting him to see just how thoroughly he destroys you.

By the way he draws you, making you feel every thick and bulging vein along his cock against your walls before roughly snapping his hips back inside you, you almost swear he can see you. That he knows how much of a mess you truly make him. But that’s impossible right?

All worries and thoughts leave you in the blink of an eye as Shadow Demon bf starts up his demolishing pace. Claws carefully sinking into you to keep you steady. A loud roar rumbles through the room and you jump in your bones, which only serves to push your body back into his intense thrusts.

Your bf grunts, clearly approving and you cry out as he starts moving your body back into his cock, having you meet the rough rolls of his hips. Your body tenses, cunt clenching down around him and having you feel even more full.

Tossing your head back, your teeth clench, pleasure crashing through you in waves you can’t even think to stop as there’s nothing else for you to ground yourself with. Your lost in the sea of pleasure, tingling sensations of arousal pulsing within your body and spreading out over and over again.

Your bf watches your body twist and contort in order to take his giant cock and everything it’s making you feel. A twisted satisfaction burns through him at how much of a beautiful mess you look. The sight has him picking up his pace, slamming his length inside you, molding your perfect pussy to his shape. Making his home here and showing you he’ll never leave.

Moans and cries of pleasure are no longer enough as you release a fierce scream. You can faintly hear your bfs low groan, his voice feeling so far away. Lost in the abyss your hands try and reach for something— anything. But the clang of the cuffs is all that rings true. Sparking an idea in your mind you try and reach forward, hoping you can ground yourself by placing the chain of the cuffs in your mouth.

But just as you reach it, Shadow demon bf pulls you back and burys his cock back inside your crying and begging cunt. Emotion wells up inside your chest and you sob, tears coming to your eyes. Your body moves back into your bfs chest and his voice comes back down to your ear.

“Sh, sh, sh, my love. It’s alright, you’re alright,” he whispers soothingly, hand coming up to stuff a few of his large fingers into your mouth. You whimper, sucking eagerly, letting the sturdy size of his digits ground you back down to earth and help calm you down.

His other hand soothingly caresses your stomach as he continues to fuck into you, his pace not slowing down for a second. Making sure to take care of all your needs at once. Small whimpers continue to leave you, feeling better as his presence surrounds you and stays in your mouth and pussy. You move back into his thrusts again, all on your own.

Tendrils of darkness creep up from the deep and curl around your body. Having been used to them they only provide further comfort to you. One long tentacle wraps up and strokes at your clit, bringing you closer and closer to orgasm. With a firm press of his hand on your stomach and a few more snaps of his hips, you scream once more, this time around his fingers as your orgasm bursts through you.

Your cum paints Shadow demon bf’s cock, your walls spasming and clenching down on his length. Sparks shoot up his spine and his teeth sink into your shoulder as he follows right after you into climax, his heavy load splashing deeply against your womb and filling your pussy even more than you thought was possible. His hips still rocking into you until you both sag into each other.

Shadow demon bf slides out of you gently but you still hiss at the slight sting. As your combined release spills out of you, you shiver and clench down to keep it inside of you. Your bf lights the room with a snap of his fingers and you breathe a sigh of relief as your senses come back to you. As gently as always, he unlocks you from the cuffs. Massaging your wrists and kissing them adoringly.

He guides you to bed, whispering praises, recounting every moment of what just happened through his eyes. Letting you know how good you did, how perfect you were for him, how absolutely gorgeous you looked then and now, and asking how you feel to make sure you’re alright.

Pouring endless praise and love onto you as he cleans up the mess between your thighs before he sweeps you up into his arms the moment you two get into bed. Pressing soft kisses all of your face and sore body. It’s only as you finally relax do you register all his words.

“Could you see me in the dark?” You ask incredulously, voice slightly raspy as you connect the dots. Your bf chuckles and you squeeze your eyes shut, dreading his response and forcing your own laughter down.

“‘Course I could, sweetheart. I’m a shadow demon,” he responds with amusement but your loud groan quickly overshadows his laughter. Red blooming across your chest and up your neck till it spreads all across your face. Your bf merely laughs louder, his hands caressing your back. Wanting to comfort you some before the inevitable teasing begins.

[dollfacefantasy]

SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL ♡

pairing: homelander x fem!reader

summary: homelander has taken an interest in you, vought's new intern. no matter how you look at it, as a good or bad thing, it ends the same way: him getting what he wants.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, dubcon, p in v, oral (m receiving), body worship, sir kink, obsessive behavior, manipulation/coercion, age gap (reader in early 20s)

wc: 7.7k (oops lol)

a/n: hehe. never thought i would write for this man but it was pretty fun :) comm for my sweet beloved @gor3-hound love you so very much mwah mwah <33

At the junction of the V-shaped table, Homelander sat. With his back to the skyline and his gloved hands folded in front of him, he held the posture of a statue. Ashley had been rambling on and on and fucking on for the past five minutes about shit he couldn't care less about. Her nasally voice bounced off the tile floors and painted ceiling, ricocheting around him like a rogue bullet. Only his impregnable skin didn't protect him from the discomfort of this situation.

It was moments like these that really made him regret killing Stillwell.

That woman knew how to handle things. As manipulative as she could be, at least she wasn't absolutely insufferable. How could Stan let Ashley replace her? She was a poor excuse of just about everything. Absolutely spineless, unintelligent, reactionary, and opportunistic. He really couldn't picture any person on this Earth genuinely liking her.

However in the midst of his mental complaints, he realized that the annoying sound of her speaking was directed at him. All the other stares in the room were zeroed in on him too. A-Train observed in cautious silence. Noir's goggles reflected Homelander's own image right back at him. Maeve judged with a sideways glance. And Starlight prepared for the worst.

He tore his own bright blue eyes from the door opposite the table and refocused them on Ashley. They scanned over her thinning ginger locks down to her gaudy outfit - a piss poor attempt at imitating power.

"What?" he asked, his voice cutting through the air with a force similar to one of Maeve's swords.

Ashley blinked in return. Fear swirled in her wide eyes. She tried to maintain that empowered appearance she so desperately wished was real, but he could see the innate urge to cower bubbling within her.

"Was that lineup for the funeral ok with you, Homelander? A-Train and Noir open, Starlight sings, and then you close?" she repeated.

Now it was his turn to blink. Like he could actually give a shit about the order of segments for Translucent's funeral. He swallowed hard. While she projected a mirage of power, he had to do the same with level-headedness.

"That's fine, Ashley. Have those two go first, and Starlight can follow up with Amazing Grace or whatever shitty hymns they teach in that hick town she's from, and then I can finish us out," he responded.

He could see how her knuckles were going white around the edge of her clipboard. She gripped it for comfort, as if that could save her from his potential wrath. It only irritated him more. If he wanted her dead, he would turn her to ashes where she stood. How hard she braced herself in advance wouldn't matter in the slightest. But people could be so foolish in moments of terror.

"Well speaking of that," she said before clearing her throat, an attempt at a natural transition, "We were trying to decide what song she would sing. Maybe one of our originals? Or do you think it would be more tasteful to go with something from an outside source?"

Gritting his teeth, he buried the urge to unleash the bright beams of red from his sockets. His hands slid off one another and pressed down onto the cool table.

"Do you really need me to decide what song is going to send Translucent to the grave?" he replied, "I don't care what you play, and no one else attending will either. They'll be focused on working up some tears for the useless dipshit they never had the displeasure of knowing. Instead of trying to gain their approval, we should be working on finding the next member of the Seven who can replace him. There's no use dwelling on the past. We need to be preparing for the future."

He paused to let his words permeate the room, giving everyone a chance to absorb the sentiment and adapt accordingly. With his pupils still trained on Ashley, he planned on continuing his tirade, but his train of thought came to an abrupt halt.

Soft pitter-patters of footsteps clacked down the hall outside this room. They sounded in a delicate rhythm, only audible to him. As they grew louder, he caught the scent of the source too. Airy and light. A stark contrast to the brash perfume Ashley doused herself in.

The doors at the front of the room slid apart to reveal you.

You stood there for a moment. The realization that you'd interrupted something was visible in your eyes. The small spheres cast down as you wobbled in like a fawn that sensed wolves watching from nearby.

Ashley turned to face you, a glower already set on her features. The resentment she held for everyone else in this building awoke from its usual dormant slumber because there was finally someone weaker she could take it out on.

Once you reached her, your hand rose and gave her a thin stack of papers. 

"I'm sorry for interrupting. It's a memo from 82. They made it sound urgent," you explained, everything about your temperament meek and timid.

After a brief pause to let you marinate in the few moments before your inevitable humiliation, she snatched the papers from you. Her eyes roamed over the page with disinterest. Even if the information conveyed by the small black letters was important, he doubted she would give it any reaction. She wanted to lash out, and she was going to, whether it was justified or not.

"They couldn't have emailed me this?" she snapped, as if that was something you could control.

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I'll check next time," you offered.

"You better or you'll run out of next times," she threatened, "Incompetence like this won't fly here. You're in the big leagues now, so act like it. Think before you do something instead of taking commands like a lap dog."

"I'm sorry," you replied, ducking your head again.

"Don't be sorry, just do better," she commanded.

"I will," you agreed.

"Good. Just get out of here now. Go pick up my lunch," she told you.

His lips curled into a scowl as he watched the scene play out. It was pathetic - not you, but Ashley. He hated seeing the fucking smirk on her face as you walked away. She had nothing to be smug about. She was nothing more than a feral coyote going after the scraps the other predators didn't take.

To make matters worse, when she returned her attention to the group at the table, she saw the look on his face. She saw the disdain, but instead of striking regret into her, it only deepened her sense of self-satisfaction.

She thought the look was for you. That he was disgusted with your mistake. Annoyed with your intrusion.

He couldn't have that. Not when that assumption was the farthest thing from the truth. Honestly, he didn't know if he was even capable of feeling such ire towards you. Not his precious little fawn.

Rising from his seat, his glare remained on Ashley. She did show a little fear then.

"You know, I don't have all day, Ashley. I'll open Translucent's funeral, Starlight will follow up with a song, and that will be it. A-Train and Noir can have the day off, because let's be honest, nobody will give shit either way," he mocked.

"But, sir-" she said, clearly confused by his sudden impending departure.

"I have more important things to deal with. If you need anything else, I'm sure one of the others can help you," he dismissed.

With that, he stepped back from the table and began heading to the doors. He hoped if he was fast enough he could still catch you. Even in a building as sleek and modern as this one, the elevators could be quite slow.

Walking out into the hall, his head swiveled in the direction you would have gone. For once, his own portrait didn't catch his eye. He didn't even think about stopping by Stillwell's office to reminisce. Instead, he just headed down towards the elevator. His red boots thudded across smooth tile in rapid succession, covering the path you'd just taken.

Finally, after a few feet, he spotted you. Bottom lip pulled between your teeth. Eyes glossy with embarrassment. Tip of your polished shoe tapping against the ground. You startled when his voice boomed across the space, calling out your name. So cute.

You looked at him with fear in your eyes, but disgust didn't fester in the pit of his stomach like it did when others gave him that anxious stare. Another feeling bloomed inside him, one he couldn't really place. It was just that the nervous gleam over your pupils didn't make him hate himself and all the circumstances of his life that put him in his position.

Instead, your wide eyes and pouty lips made him feel strong. You made him feel like a hero. A real one, not the artificial caricature that Vought projected to the world. With you nearby, he felt like the kind of guy who deserved the American flag blowing off his back with a pretty girl cradled in his arms and a dead enemy at his feet. When you gazed up at him, he could only imagine that the pride rushing through his chest and confidence pooling between his hips was the feeling his creators intended for him.

"Did you need something from me, sir?" you asked, reminding him that he actually had to provide a reason to talk to you. Just wanting to stare at you like a psychopath would not suffice unfortunately.

"Oh no," he waved off, "The meeting just finished up. I was heading out too. I saw you, and I realized I haven't really taken the time to get to know you yet, which is unfortunate because I usually like to be familiar with the newer people we have working with us."

A complete lie. Before you, he didn't remember ever giving any of the interns a second glance. They were true nuisances. They were Ashleys.

"Oh... well I'm around whenever you wanna talk. Ashley keeps me busy, but I'm sure I could make an exception for you," you replied.

"You absolutely can make an exception for me," he chuckled, "If Ashley gives you any trouble, just let me know, and I'll make sure she remembers who's really in charge around here."

It wasn't until he heard your heart rate increase that he realized those words probably came off as threatening. Well, they were threatening, but you weren't supposed to see him that way.

"I'm kidding," he forced out with a laugh, "Just joking around like I do... I just don't want you to worry about getting in some kind of trouble for me sniffing around you."

You huffed out an awkward laugh of your own and nodded.  "I'll be sure to make some time for you in the future then and let Ashley know it was at your direction."

"Great," he said with probably too much enthusiasm. 

His jaw clenched into one of his usual tight smiles. He averted his eyes from you and looked towards the numbers on the elevator. Fuck, it was reaching the bottom. He didn't want to let you go, but it wasn't like he could just stroll down the street with you to go get Ashley's lunch. His mind scrambled to come up with a solution.

But like your earlier intrusion into the meeting, your gentle voice cuts through the hurricane forming in his head.

"Are you alright, sir?" you ask, anxious concern written all over your features.

He refocused on you and nodded. His arm extended out behind you, his palm landing against the elevator wall. As he leaned in, he could smell your adrenaline spiking. He could hear the shift of your shoe against the ground. If only he possessed a sixth sense for the mind, so he could know what little thoughts about him were flitting through your head.

"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me," he answered. He smiled down at you, observing the slight nod you gave him in return.

"Of course not. It probably seems silly coming from me," you said.

His brows raised in amusement. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

He saw the flash of regret in your eyes. The one people always gave him when he asked a question in that tone. The one that came from the panic of realizing they may have said something that offended Homelander.

You suppressed it pretty well though and brought out a smile that gave the impression that you hoped he was messing with you instead.

"Well you know... because you're you," you said and tilted your head in an innocent way that made his chest ache.

He chuckled that charming, prepackaged laugh that had been trained into him. "Even I can appreciate someone taking an interest in checking on me," he replied.

It was maddening, how bad he wanted you. He wasn't even sure when this craving had sprouted inside him. He had been so preoccupied with his affinity for Stillwell that his fixation with you struck him like a glass window in front of a flying bird. But no matter the timeframe in which it blossomed, it had taken root by now and wasn't going to go away on its own.

When he looked at you like this - staring up at him with earnest fascination - his mind drifted to darker places all on its own. He couldn't stop it if he wanted to (and really, he didn't want to). It's just how was he not supposed to be aware of the fact that it would be all too easy to take you back to his room? How could he not think about what it would feel like to have your fragile body beneath his own in private? How could he not wonder what you'd sound like crying out in a sinful mix of pleasure and pain?

Hell, how was he supposed to pretend like he couldn't just bend you over and fuck you dumb right here in the middle of this elevator if he wanted to? No one would be able to stop him. There wouldn't be a thing they could do other than watch. They could stare in horror as he used you like he deserved, as he pounded into your warm, soft, dripping hole like he needed...

Unfortunately, painting that picture in his head had his blood rushing South. He felt the subtle simmer of desire in his pelvis, and he knew in no time his length would be filling out. This suit gave him no way of hiding it either. Clearly, whoever made it hadn't anticipated the Homelander popping a boner on the job.

But luckily for him, the elevator chimed with its arrival at the bottom floor. He straightened out as you looked ahead in preparation of your departure. But before you could go, he grabbed your arm. His touch was tender, holding the same force he'd use when cradling a baby at a photo-op.

"Maybe later tonight you'd like to take me up on one of those talks? After you're done for the day, you could stop by my place. The sooner the better, right?" he asked.

Your eyes widened ever so slightly, but you still nodded. "Um... sure thing. I'll head up once I've finished all my work. It should be around six if that's ok?" you offered.

"Yeah, that works for me. I'll be waiting," he said in an attempt to be playful.

You smiled once more and then headed out of the elevator. His fingertips dragged down your arm to your wrist as you walked away before you finally slipped from his grasp. He could hear your heart pounding faster than your footsteps as you headed towards the exit of the building.

At six o'clock sharp, a knock sounded through his penthouse. And it only took him a few seconds to swing the door open and greet you.

"There she is," he beamed with exaggerated politeness.

You smiled modestly in return, shrugging and smoothing out a crease in your blouse. "I couldn't let the leader of the seven down," you joked.

He scoffed but opened the door wider, beckoning you into his place. You took the invitation and crossed the threshold. Your eyes glanced around the place, taking note of all the things in the apartment that housed the most powerful man on Earth.

The American flag taking up an entire wall almost stopped you in your tracks. It would've been funny if it was someone else, but because it belonged to him, it stood there like a warning. You tried not to show how daunting you found it. Average people could be touchy about that famous piece of cloth. You didn't want to find out if the strongest supe felt the same through means of offending him. 

In place of letting that bother you, you shifted your attention over to all the historical pictures hanging on the walls and the sleek surfaces and drawers filled with things you couldn't begin to imagine. Your eyes casted over the statues accenting the space as well. It was all so very polished. It looked like what you'd expect the Homelander entry in an Ikea catalog to be.

"So what do you think?" he asked. He knew his words came off as stiff. Probably a little stilted sounding. He just couldn't help it. For the first time, he couldn't get a read on how you felt through physical signs alone. And right now, he really really wanted you to like him.

"It's... impressive," you answered.

But he could hear the hesitation in your voice. In each word, there was the same wavering quality to it that you get when Ashley grilled you in front of an audience. It wasn't the precious reverence that he saw in the elevator. The nervous kind of admiration you held for someone above your standing. This was just plain anxiety, and that served no purpose to him. 

Despite your trepidation however, you walked forward to the window at the back of the place. You looked out over the city in awe.

"I would love to live somewhere high up like this," you said.

He came up from behind to stand next to you in front of the glass panes. His eyes landed on your face. You stared out the window, wonder twinkling in your eyes. Your voice sounded almost breathless. It was adorable.

"No fear of heights?" he asked.

"Not when it comes to being inside. Maybe I'd be nervous if we were on a balcony or something," you replied.

"Oh come on. You'd have nothing to worry about if you were with me. I'd never let you fall," he said, dropping his voice a few octaves.

You made that cute little face again when those words hit your ears. Your eyes widened before they fell to look at your shoes. So modest, the way you shied away. He wondered if you were always so timid or if it was only when a god amongst men like himself flirted with you.

He chuckled and reached out, tilting your chin back up to look at him. "You don't need to be nervous," he soothed, "There's no safer place to be than with the Homelander, right?"

You nodded right along. His words left no room for objection.

"Good girl," he smirked and dragged a gloved thumb over your cheek. He pulled his hand back and stepped in the direction of the brown leather sectional that sat in the middle of the room.

"Come over here and sit down. We can talk," he directed.

Following him to the large couch, you took your seat near the corner. You assumed he'd sit at the other end or at least towards the middle of the perpendicular cushions, but no. He sat down in the corner with you. His body was at most a foot away.

He continued to smile at you though he didn't speak. It felt odd, sitting there in silence across from him. He wasn't doing anything overtly threatening, yet you still felt at his mercy.

"So, do you like it here so far? Do you feel like you're fitting into the Vought family?" he asked with a bit of an edge to that second word.

You nodded again. A relieved breath seeped from your lungs as the tense void in conversation came to an end. "Yeah, it's nice here. I feel like I'm learning a lot."

He chuckled and leaned back against the stiff backing of the sofa. His muscular arm draped along the top. Though it wasn't his intention to draw your focus there, he caught the way your eyes dragged over his bicep.

"That's good," he said, "It can be a lot when you're new. I wouldn't want you feeling overwhelmed."

"That's nice of you. I appreciate it, but I'm used to a busy schedule," you replied.

"You're freshly graduated, aren't you?" he checked.

"Yeah," you said, your lips quirking upwards at his guess.

"I thought so. You have that cute, wide-eyed, optimistic thing going for you."

A small laugh leaves your lips. "I know. Ashley said I'll grow out of it by the end of this quarter."

His face dropped, and he almost abandoned the prince charming act he was attempting to pull off for you. The mere mention of Ashley was enough to irk him, but the thought that she was trying to change you? Not only change you but jade you. To strip away the soft and sweet qualities that hooked him on you in the first place. It was criminal. He couldn't hide his disdain.

"You shouldn't listen to her," he said. He wasn't angry, but his cadence held intensity. "Ashley's problem is Ashley. To be honest, I don't even know why they gave her an intern. It's not like she'd be good at teaching anything when she still doesn't understand most things about our business herself."

Your fingers dug into the edge of your seat. It wouldn't have been significant in a normal conversation, but when speaking with a man who could hear a pin drop forty stories down, he noticed.

"You're still nervous," he observed.

In an instant, your hands flew to your lap, like you knew what gave your anxiety away. You fidgeted with the hem of your skirt and shrugged.

"A little," you admitted.

"Are you scared of me?" he asked.

You shook your head without even thinking about the question.

"No, it's not that. I swear," you reassured, "It's just that this is a big deal for me. I'm really honored you want to get to know me, and I just want to make a good impression."

"You don't need to worry about that. I wouldn't have invited you here if I didn't have a good impression of you," he said.

You sighed slightly, letting out a bit of tension, but he could still smell that boosted cortisol running through your blood.

"Come here," he ordered, his voice soft but undeniably firm.

"What?" you asked.

A puff of amused air blew from his nostrils. "Come here," he repeated, "Sit closer."

As if you needed the guidance, he patted the space directly beside his hip. He could see the uncertainty in your eyes even after the gesture. The lack of understanding toward his reasoning persisted. Regardless of your skepticism however, you scooted in his direction and ended up where he wanted you.

"That's better," he said.

With careful fingers, he slipped the glove off his right hand. Your eyes locked on it in subtle awe. You'd seen this man on billboards and commercials for years. His face dominated newscasts. His voice broadcast over the radio on a weekly basis. Still, you had never seen such a human part of him. Five fingers and a palm reaching for your own.

They clasped around your hand. His skin was smooth. The gloves preserved them from any marks of experience.

"Did Ashley warn you about me?" he asked, drawing your eyes back to his own.

Your heart thundered, but you couldn't lie. Never had Vought bragged about Homelander being a human lie detector, but in this moment, you felt like that was the case.

"Yes," you responded.

He clicked his tongue in disapproval. "You didn't believe her, did you?" he asked.

You could tell he already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it.

"Yes," you whispered again.

"What did she tell you?"

It was hard to remember that conversation you'd had a few weeks ago with Ashley. Feeling like you were two seconds away from having lasers beamed through your skull made minute details fuzzy and distant, but you manage to choke a few out anyways.

"She said that you have a very specific vision for the Seven, and that you'll do anything to make your dreams reality. She was just saying you're ambitious. That you care about the greater good," you summarized.

"I have a feeling you're saying it a lot nicer than she did," he teased. He could feel the fear rolling off of you in waves, and in a moment, he would rectify that. But for right now, he didn't mind letting his precious little fawn tremble in terror for a few moments more.

"Yeah, she can be kind of blunt," you said with a shaky laugh.

"That's one word for it," he said.

"She's not gonna get in trouble because of what I said, is she?" you asked.

He couldn't help laughing at that. The sound came out low and throaty. You were just so fucking pure. Worried about protecting someone who wouldn't hesitate for a second to sell you out if it meant she could climb up another rung on the corporate ladder.

His exposed thumb rubbed back and forth over your knuckles. "No. Of course not. We're just talking," he said.

He leaned in closer to you, positioning his mouth in close proximity to your ear. His free hand came up to cup your jaw.

"I appreciate your honesty though. Ashley probably couldn't tell you this, but I appreciate a loyal girl like you," he murmured.

On both your hand and through his glove in contact with your chin, he could feel your skin heat up.

"Oh... thank you, sir," you said.

He chuckled. His fingers squished into the flesh of your cheeks, making your lips puff out as though they were seeking a kiss.

"So polite, but I like that. We need more people here who understand their place," he said.

At this point, the gravity of your circumstances began to settle on you. Your fear had worn off a bit, and you realized what a compromising position he had you in. With one tight squeeze, he could crush every bone in your face.

Out of instinct, you tried pulling back a little. You didn't make it obvious, only attempting to gain a few inches of space.

That was a few inches too many though. He tightened his grip and kept you where he wanted you.

"Ah ah," he tutted, "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't need to be scared? I'm not going to hurt you."

You dropped the resistance right then and there. It wasn't worth pursuing. If he didn't want you getting away, you weren't getting away.

He took a few more seconds to study your face, taking in every minutiae of your expressions. Then, his hands dropped to your waist, and he pulled you into his lap. His thighs were firm against your ass, both rigid in how he carried himself and defined from the pure muscle that made them up.

His hands smoothed up and down your sides, coasting over each crease in your blouse. He massaged your soft tissue with gentle squeezes from the beginning of your bra down to the swell of your hips.

"God, you're beautiful," he muttered, "You fit here like you were made for me."

You vibrated in his grasp. He could feel the way you quivered with the urge to pull away.

"Thank you, s-sir," you stammered, "I really appreciate it but-"

"But nothing," he cut you off.

"But I don't think we should be... doing this," you tried to continue anyway.

"Why not?" he asked. Though his tone made it obvious that no matter what reason you provided, it wouldn't change his mind.

"Because you're like my boss, y'know? And I worked really hard to get my spot here, and I don't want people thinking I slept my way to where I am," you explained, "You're really nice, and I admire you a lot, but it wouldn't be right."

He didn't respond immediately. He paused and let your words hang in the air for a few moments.

"You know," he finally spoke, "I don't think you understand how things work around here. It doesn't matter what anyone else in this building thinks. Only me."

You blinked at him, unsure of how to respond to such an assertion. It didn't matter though. He continued without your input.

"What I do with you, how I feel about you - no one else will know about it unless you tell them. But even if you do and even if they care, there isn't a thing they'll do about it. There's not a thing they can do about it," he continued.

"I still don't think it's a good idea," you maintained.

"Good thing this isn't for you to think about then," he mocked, "You're a fast learner. You'll figure it out soon enough. I am God in this tower. And a god doesn't listen to his subjects. He guides them. He knows best."

One of his hands slid up your tummy and over your chest onto your throat. He cupped your jaw and swiped his thumb back and forth across your bottom lip.

"What did Ashley tell you about me?" he asked.

"That no one gets in your way."

"Good. And she was right. No one gets in my way. Nothing stops me from getting what I want. And I've wanted you for too fucking long not to try you out."

That set of fingers on your chin pulled your face towards his and brought you into a kiss. You froze against his lips. It felt as though all of time stopped. This high up, you couldn't hear the sounds of the city outside the penthouse. No one existed in this moment but you and him.

Unlike you, he melted into the exchange. He sighed against your skin and pulled you flush against his toned body. After a second to let you come to terms with what was happening, he kissed you again. His lips sucked on yours gently, attempting to coax you into returning the affection.

The most he got is you puckering them up ever so slightly.

He pulled away with frustration in his eyes and grabbed your face, jerking you a little to look at him.

"Don't act like you don't want this. I know you do," he said, "You're scared, but you don't need to be. Relax and let yourself enjoy this. It's not everyday that the most powerful man on earth wants to fuck you."

Your eyes blew up like little saucers, but before you could really process the directness of what he'd said, he was kissing you again. This time it wasn't as nerve wracking. You softened up a little and kissed back.

You didn't put much effort into it. Your lips responded like this was a juvenile first date. But he didn't let up. He didn't let you give him anything less than your best. His hands roamed across your body. They groped and fondled your breasts and then migrated South to feel up your ass through your pencil skirt.

Your muscles started to loosen up after a minute or so. You told yourself this wasn't so bad. He was being gentle so far, and for someone with his abilities, you wanted it to stay that way. You brought your hand up to his face and cupped his cheek. With that as leverage, you deepened the kiss.

He groaned as soon as you started to give in. His hands fell to your hips and tugged you so that you were straddling him. He smacked your ass, the sound echoing around his apartment. You could tell he held back. A real spank from Homelander could shatter your hip, but this one barely even stung. Maybe he did like you.

His fingers came up and with a sharp tug, he popped the front of your top loose. The column of buttons sprung free. The strips of cloth fell away to each of your sides, exposing a sliver of your skin. He furthered it by pulling off the garment entirely. His eyes trailed along your bare shoulders to your collar bone before finally landing on your breasts. He gave them a firm squeeze, kneading them through the barrier of your bra.

Meanwhile you rolled your hips down on his lap. Immediately, you felt his bulge that had risen to attention between your thighs. You did it again and then again. Each time you ground yourself against him with more pressure.

He grunted, and his eyes fluttered. His hands returned to your waist and gripped you hard, guiding your movements. He seemed transfixed for a few moments, as if he couldn't decide his next move.

After a few seconds though, he got his momentum back. He yanked you off his lap and flipped over so that you were seated on the couch again.

He rose to his feet before you. There your eyes scanned over his body from his tousled blond hair and his kiss-swollen red lips to his sculpted abdomen and his swelling erection. You reached out to touch him, but he stopped your hand mid-air.

Once your arm was limp on the couch again, he removed his other glove. He dropped it to the floor before bringing his right boot to the spot on the sofa next to you. He unzipped the red shoe and then discarded it like he had with the other item. The other boot followed the same routine.

"I don't let just anyone see me like this," he told you as his fingers began to undo his collar, "You should feel lucky."

Lucky wasn't the word you would use to describe your feelings in this situation. Maybe special. Or distinct. Individual. Either way, you continued to watch. Your eyes glided over his figure as he pulled away the tight blue costume that seemed like a second-skin for how much he wore it.

His defined chest came into view. Your reluctance hadn't vanished all together just yet, but at this point, it was fading fast. Pale hair dusted the muscular expanse and trailed down his stomach to the waistband of the bottoms. The waistband he soon hooked his fingers over and peeled down.

He dropped the scaled navy fabric to the ground before kicking it away, leaving himself in just a small pair of boxers. His hand came down and rubbed the swollen tent at the front while his eyes lingered on you.

"Do you want to touch?" he asked.

You nodded. It wasn't a hard decision. This was still a bad idea. You hadn't changed your mind on that. But at this point, what else was there to do? Defying Homelander wasn't an option for anyone on this planet ever. You were no different.

"Ask," he commanded.

"Please can I touch you?" you said.

"Please what?"

"Please, sir. Can I touch you?"

"Good girl," he praised before nodding, "Go for it."

You reached out, this time successfully. Your palm landed flat on his stomach. You held it there for a moment, just feeling his skin. In a way, it was unreal. To feel that someone propped up on the world's pedestal was flesh and blood like you.

Rubbing up and down, you continued getting a feel for his body. He smirked at your wonder before guiding you up by the elbow.

"Stand up and do it right," he said.

"Sorry."

The word came from your mouth automatically. You brought your other hand up to his chest and felt the muscles in his chest. Everything was so built. You expected that, but it was still odd to feel beneath your fingertips. He felt like a living ken doll. You almost didn't believe if he dropped his boxers there would be a real cock there.

Your hands traced up to his shoulders with precision. They explored down his biceps and forearms. And then finally, you brought your lips into his chest. He sighed and tilted his head back, relishing the feeling.

You kissed all over, swirling your tongue and tracing shapes onto his skin. It was almost entrancing, to be so focused on someone like this. You barely noticed as he turned the two of you and sat himself down on the couch, lowering you to your knees.

You worked your mouth down his abs, licking and kissing the twitching muscles. Your fingernails scraped up his sides and then down onto his thighs. When your lips reached the waistband of his boxers, your eyes glanced up at him.

"Can I take them off, sir?" you asked.

He smirked at the title. Only one word of correction and he'd trained that phrase into you.

"Yes," he answered. It was a simple answer. All that was required for someone so naturally obedient.

You took it in stride, tucking your fingers over the elastic and tearing them down. His hard cock popped up and slapped against his pelvis. You couldn't have been happier about your earlier ken doll theory being proven wrong. The sight of his dick was enough to make you drool. It was better than any work of art out there.

It rested against his body at the perfect length, the perfect girth. The tip flushed beautiful red and pearly white beads of precum smeared at the top. Your fingers wrapped around it and gave it a few strokes, testing the waters.

His hand came down and petted your head. He watched as you studied the appendage, as you experimented with your own touch. It was so fucking cute he thought he might cum right then and there. Fuck, he thought you were sweet every moment he had eyes on you, but right now, you were darling. You were doing as he said. Accepting your place at the feet of a superior being.

"Put it in your mouth," he said from above, "I want you to taste it."

There was no hesitation on your end this time around.

"Yes sir," you responded before leaning forward and wrapping your lips around his cock.

He groaned and let his chest hollow out with a harsh exhale. Your mouth was so warm and wet, nice and snug around his length. He rocked his hips up, pushing it further into your throat. He expected a small gag or sputter, but instead you moaned. You shut your eyes and flattened your tongue against his shaft before beginning to bob your head.

"Fuck," he hissed. His legs tensed up, and he pressed down on your head. That did get a tiny gag out of you. You gripped his hips to stabilize yourself though and stayed in place. Your nose nestled against the darker curls of hair that sat at the base of his cock.

Spit leaked from your mouth and dribbled onto his skin below. He took a few moments to just enjoy the feeling of his dick down your throat. The sight of his sweet, innocent girl choking on his cock. Then he let you pull off and catch your breath. 

You took a few deep puffs, letting the spots clear from your vision before you dove back in for more. Your hand stroked the lower part of him your mouth didn't cover in its shallow sucks while your other set of fingers caressed his balls tenderly.

He'd never experienced devotion. As much as it pained him to ever acknowledge, his sexual experiences had been lackluster up until now. There were the times with Maeve, but they always left something to be desired for him. Then there was the time with Stillwell that ended before it really started. In either case, no one had ever put all of themselves into pleasuring him like you were doing right now. It drove him wild. He could feel his sac tightening up, and he knew he had to get you off.

Planting one hand on each side of your head, he tugged you back. You looked up at him with glossy, cock-drunk eyes and saliva-coated lips. He swiped some of the mess away before addressing you.

"You're doing so good for me, but I think you're ready for more, don't you?"

"Yes, sir," you agreed.

"My perfect pet," he crooned and pulled you up onto the couch.

He laid you flat on your back and ripped your skirt and panties off in one go. His eyes drank in the sight of your nude lower half, but he didn't spend much time savoring it. He spread you out, slotting himself against your center.

With a few rocks of his hips, he dragged his length through your wetness. He let the sticky fluid coat his shaft, and then he sunk in. His tip bullied its way into your entrance and the rest of him followed. You whined at the stretch. Your walls clamped around him, eager to accept the intrusion.

"Atta girl," he grunted as he worked himself all the way in.

His hips connected with your ass, but he still bucked them, trying to get more. You yelped at the force. He was already buried inside you. Anymore and his tip would be nudging the entrance to your womb.

Fortunately for you, he pulled his hips back, giving you a short break from feeling so full. It was short lived though. Seconds later he snapped back in. That began the quick rhythm he set into. It was desperate and needy, emotions he'd tried to hide until this point.

You whimpered as your body bobbed with the momentum. His thrusts bounced you back and forth. The sounds of his body smacking against yours filled the room. His fingers dug into your waist hard enough to bruise. You didn't complain about the minor pain though because you could tell he was holding back in every other regard. If a few marks on your side kept you from being pulverized by a super cock, then that was a burden you were willing to carry.

Above you, he starts to pant. His breaths leave him raggedly huffing, sucking down what oxygen he can get in the midst of rutting into you. He tilts his head down at you and gazes at your blissed out face with lidded eyes.

"I could have anyone. Any person on this Earth would be mine if I wanted them to be. But the only one I want is you. Doesn't that feel good?" he breathed.

"Yes!" you cried out. Your back arched up off the couch. "Feels so fucking good, sir."

He leaned into you more, squishing your body into the surface below. Your thighs pressed against your tummy as he bent you.

"Yeah, it does," he grunted, "It's all there is. It's all you need to think about. How you're all mine."

"Mhm," you whined with a lazy nod. You were getting closer to cumming and responding to his words was taking a lower priority in your mind.

"And to think you tried to deny yourself of it," he mocked. He clenched his jaw and slammed into you harder.

You shrieked and clutched his shoulders. In the back of your mind, you hoped his penthouse was sound proofed or at least enough distance from the nearest one. Otherwise you wouldn't have to tell anyone about this incident for it to spread throughout the tower.

"I knew better, didn't I? I knew this is what you needed," he said.

Again, you nodded. You felt the heat in your belly reaching the boiling point.

"Say it," he huffed.

You tried to force it out, but your own hiccuped sob of pleasure cut you off. He didn't give you a break though. He stared down at you with expectation, so you continued.

"You know best- uh, fuck- you know best, sir," you whined.

"Good fucking girl," he growled on top of you.

He was already close from the blowjob you'd given him. Only a few strokes more, and he was ready to explode. He swiveled his hips, angling them upwards to pound into that special spot that would make you see stars and stripes.

You mewled when you came. Your body trembled harder than it did when you were scared. Arousal gushed out of you and coated his skin. He huffed and buried his face in your neck before letting go.

Everything faded into the background as you laid underneath him in the haze that came after the absolute high of pleasure. Now you could feel his heartbeat too. The organ thundered against his chest over and over as he came down.

Minutes later he pulled back. His knuckles caressed down your jawline before he climbed off of you entirely. He sat back on the couch and let out a deep breath. You weren't sure whether you were supposed to pick up your stuff and leave or follow along with him and stay close to his side. There was no real indication of what he wanted in this moment, but he turned to smile at you and huffed out a laugh.

"I think I'll keep you with me more often now. Really show you the ropes of fitting in around here."

You sat up and nodded awkwardly. He leaned toward you, cupping your cheek.

"I'll be a much better teacher than Ashley ever was," he said. His arm snaked around you and pulled you to his chest again. "No more errands or coffee runs. I'll show you things you need. Things that you'll enjoy."

He ran his fingers over your face and kissed your temple. The touches were tender against your skin. They would have been romantic if your mind wasn't racing with what this all meant in terms of your job and the grand scheme of your future.

Looking at him though, he wasn't worried at all. He smiled down at you before whispering once more.

"My sweet little pet. All mine now."

[simpxxstan]

HELLOOO!!! CONGRATS FOR THE 550 FOLLOWERS ON TUMBLR I HOPE U GET MORE FOLLOWERS BC UR WRITTING?? DELICIOUS 💗💗

But I would like to request seungcheol + dilfism ?? Like have u SEEN that man??

Thank you!! Have a good day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE MAN <333 thank you for sending this in! LOVED writing dilf cheol. i swear this man and his sexiness of 30s will be the death of me. inspired completely by his new glasses look at caratland 2024.

this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.

genre: smut, enemies to lovers, age gap, dilf!seungcheol, lawyer au.

word count: 13k words.

warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ nsfw content. 13 YEAR AGE GAP, mention of suicide, single dad!seungcheol, a ton of legal terms (not vouching to be accurate because i am neither a lawyer nor a law student nor is my research perfect), seungcheol is a bit selfish and toxic (but there's a redemption arc), ANGSTY angst, but A LOT OF FLUFF TO COMPENSATE. smut warnings: protected sex, oral receiving (f and m), mild dirty talk, implicit size kink, implicit spit kink.

"it's my first case!" you whine in surrender, slumping on the shoulder of your friend, as you both re-read the case file in front of you for the n-th time this morning. yoona pats your head, but she knows even she can say nothing to console you. it must be either sheer bad luck or some unknown person's vengeance, that you're against choi seungcheol in the very first case of your life.

y/l/n y/n: the lawyer of the plaintiff, hwang seola.

choi seungcheol: the lawyer of the defendant, KNT enterprises pvt. ltd.

nothing can save you from losing your first case in the worst way possible. not even the stellar letters of recommendation from your professors. not even your exceptional performance in the national lawyers examination process. not even your diligence during your interning years that's earned you the title of golden rookie. everyone expects you to make it big, including yourself- but that's clearly not going to happen if you lose the very first actual case you have to face in your life.

"at least no one will mock you for losing," yoona says in a meek voice. you scoff indignantly, "as if that's any comfort. still doesn't change the fact that i'm going to start off my career on the worst foot possible. why does my luck have to be so shitty?"

"hey, think about the positives. imagine how much of a learning experience it'll be. i know best how much you consider seungcheol as your idol."

you sigh. five years ago, when seungcheol had blown up across the country because of his historic debut in the court of corporate law, winning case after case and setting precedents that were welcomed with open arms, you'd looked up to him. five years ago, he'd walked into your college for an invited seminar during your first semester and blown your mind away. five years ago, you would cry in joy at the opportunity to even spend a minute in the same courtroom as seungcheol and see him in action. five years ago, he'd been the ideal man of your dreams- perfect in every damn way possible.

the only issue with that is that he's still the ideal man in your eyes. even if losing the case against him won't make your nervous, just being in close quarters with him for long hours will make you infinitely nervous.

"maybe i should recommend boss to let you take up the ca-" you tease yoona, and she squeals, whining protests instantly. "no thank you!" you laugh, hoping to lighten the tension of the moment. but the relief is only temporary, and the weight of the upcoming case lingers in your mind for hours later.

_

the first trial of the case is a week later. before that, you decide to change your mindset to a better thought process- even if you simply assume that you're going to lose this case, you're still going to give in your 100% so that you can step away with no regrets and only more knowledge gained. the first step to that, of course, is speak to your client personally, without the intermediation of the firm you work at.

mrs hwang turns out to be a woman just a few years older than you. the primary reason why she's suing the company her husband used to work at is because her husband had been driven to suicide by the constant pressure in his workplace to keep some illegal activities and fraud under the covers, which had not only harmed his mental health and morals but also affected the way his superiors judged his work performance. she may be young, but she's lost her husband merely three years after their marriage, and just one look at her face makes your heart ache in sympathy.

this isn't the first time you've seen such a case. during your years of study, you've studied plenty of cases involving companies ill-treating their workers and leading them to take up drastic steps in desperation. not only does this case come under a serious mistreatment of employees under labour laws, but also violates laws governing corporations which demand them to steer off illegal activities and maintain integrity. it's a very interesting case, and you're highly intrigued and instantly drawn into the case. there are several nuances that you know you may miss out by a hair's breadth if you're not careful. but you cannot take chances. if you have to even put up a fair fight against choi seungcheol, you're going to have to leave no stone unturned.

at the end of your discussions with mrs hwang, you're fully convinced that the company is indeed at fault here. however, you're going to have to prove it in court with the meagre evidence you have- which is low anyway, considering how big companies use their financial and social capital to turn such cases remarkably in their favour. the primary example of that being them getting seungcheol, the country's top corporate lawyer, to represent them, while mrs hwang can only hire you, a rookie lawyer at a lesser reputed firm.

however, as you walk into the courtroom, you convince yourself to not think about how the odds are against your favour from the first moment itself, to calm your nerves. you're here to debut with a bang, and you will fake it till you make it.

_

it doesn't work.

it doesn't work because the moment you enter the courtroom, you see choi seungcheol sitting next to the defendant's CEO on the other side of the room, dressed in the most immaculate suit, his glasses perched on his nose as he inspects the documents you've submitted in court prior to the trial as preliminary evidence. when you walk towards the bench you're going to sit at, he looks up at you.

it's a careful, measured glance. a glance of confidence, a glance of self-awareness. he knows he's going to win. and yet, he smiles at you indulgently.

moments later, he meets you halfway across the room.

"good morning. i'm seungcheol," he extends his hand for a shake, his nose upturned as he looks down at you with an aura that nearly blows you away. you wish that you hadn't worn heels tonight- because if he keeps looking at you like that, your knees are going to give up.

"of course, who wouldn't know you?" you steady your voice mustering a smile.

seungcheol's smile does not change. "it's nice to meet the golden rookie finally."

his words send shivers down your spine. there's just something about meeting your idol from so up-close that you want to submit instantly to his infinitely higher knowledge and experience to you. there's also something particular to him that's affecting your mind and body- because if seungcheol at thirty-one was handsome, he's absolutely godly at thirty-six. he's aged like fine wine- the rimless glasses sitting firmly on his nose, tiny wrinkles around his eyes, and a few graying hairs around his sideburns.

you don't get a chance to respond as the judge enters the court and you're pulled away to your bench, sitting next to a very nervous-looking mrs hwang. you forcefully drag your eyes away from seungcheol, who still has that tiny smile on his face as he talks to his client, and focus on your client, giving her much-needed confidence boosts (needed both by her and by you).

_

as anticipated, the first trial does not go well. it's just your fucking luck that the judge knows seungcheol already- but then, it was wrong of you to not consider that already, knowing how famous he is. on top of it all, mrs hwang breaks down in the middle of seungcheol's questioning, shaken completely by his straightforward questions and uncaring gaze, and the court gets adjourned, leaving you stranded without any proper progress against seungcheol's stronger case. the next trial is scheduled for a week later. you wish you could think that your work has been cut out for you, but it's far from that.

the second trial comes quickly- but it doesn't let you progress much further. seungcheol looks even more nonchalant on the second trial- dressed in another suit, he's less fierce today during his questioning. you don't notice it, because you're too flustered with your own work, but his eyes stray towards you more often. his eyes glaze over with something soft every time you make eye contact, and you immediately look away, like you've been caught in the act. but seungcheol doesn't let it slip- he keeps up his passive aggression when he's shaking hands with you before exiting the courtroom.

"tough luck, rookie. focus between the lines more."

his words make you even more nervous than before, but you put on a brave face for seola's sake. this motivates you to change your gameplan, and you decide to stop focusing on existing evidence, which is scarce, and use more verbal reports of other employees who have willingly stepped up to speak the truth after the suicide of their friend and colleague. by the time you're just three days before the third trial date, you have a solid set of verbal witnesses who will provide evidence on your side, but every time you feel slightly more confident than earlier, seungcheol's voice rings in your ears and you lose all hope.

on the morning of the fourth day, you receive an email from your boss.

y/n, please attend a lunch meeting on my behalf with some of our older clients (whose list i have attached below) today.

you jump to the opportunity- being provided a chance to interact with the old clients of the firm is a lucrative opportunity to impress those who've stayed with the firm from the beginning (and naturally, have graduated into stakeholders at the firm).

so it's safe to say you're in for a rude shock when you reach the lunch spot at a five-star restaurant along the banks of the han river, and find none of your clients but instead you find seungcheol waiting for you.

_

"close your mouth and stop drooling," jeonghan's voice somehow appears in his mind when he sees you enter the restaurant. "you make it obvious how hot you find women in suits."

but seungcheol cannot take his eyes off you. hasn't been able to for the last two times he's seen you. even if the courtroom is no place for indecency, he's had plenty of indecent thoughts whenever he's seen you, dressed in your suits and blazers, your curves prominent and your hair tied up in a practical ponytail. he should not think like this about you- he knows it. you both are set up at natural odds because of the case- but somehow, that makes him more interested in you. and seungcheol would not have it any other way. he looks forward to each trial of an otherwise boring case just to see you- the passion on your face whenever you're arguing your case, the way your mouth opens in shock whenever seungcheol casually dismisses a piece of information you've clearly worked hard on, the way you stare in exasperation at the witnesses when they speak against your stance, the hunger in your eyes whenever you're questioning his client, and the fire in you that burns you to work harder before each trial. seungcheol hasn't seen a lawyer as passionate as you in many years- most would have given up even before starting just due to his formidable reputation, but you're not even intimidated by his on-brand dead stare that works on everyone.

"i was told i'm here to meet clients of my firm. i didn't know you hired our firm for your personal needs," you cock an eyebrow as you stand in front of him, and seungcheol smirks. that attitude does nothing to filter his thoughts.

"would you have come if i'd invited you personally?"

you open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. "have a seat, please. let's enjoy lunch."

you do so immediately. submissive. "but i still don't understand why i'm here." bratty.

he places a finger on his lips as the food he's pre-ordered arrives. the smell of the delicious food breaks your frigid attitude, it obviously helps that seungcheol's ordered your self-proclaimed favourite dish on your public instagram account. "i'm sure you must be hungry." seungcheol digs in himself, his eyes on yours as he carefully licks the spoon clean. your eyes flicker to his lips instantly before you're staring back into his eyes, defiance laced in your gaze. you pick up the spoon and start eating as well. seungcheol smiles.

i'm a dad to two daughters. i know how to tame brats.

after a few minutes, he finally speaks. "do you know the first step to winning a battle, rookie?"

you look up and tilt your head slightly in question.

"knowing your opponent."

"i already know you."

"that's what you think. that's why you're not going to win."

your eyes flash with anger. "are you just going to rub that into my face? is that why i'm here?"

"so what? you don't want to win? isn't the most loved story of human history the tale of the underdog?"

"frankly, my opponent isn't even you. it's your client, who isn't even here. so i don't understand the point of this meeting."

"so much can be learnt merely through observation, rookie. you can't know someone by looking at their annual reports and how much money they pay their employees."

"i don't need to know anything more than that! unlike you, i don't wish to meddle in people's personal lives to win cases. i don't need your brain games."

seungcheol chuckles. "the courtroom is nothing but brain games, rookie. think how far facts can take you, and then think how much further imagination can take you."

you gasp, pinching your nose. "i'm sorry, what? imagination? i'll win on evidence and evidence only. i used to admire you as an icon of law. but now, when i see you defend an obvious criminal with such blatant stubbornness, i'm having second thoughts."

"obvious criminal? are you telling me you've obtained the evidence you need to prove my client guilty in court?"

"and what if i do?"

seungcheol sits back, squaring his shoulders to his full stature. "you shouldn't tell me about it then, rookie."

"when you'd walked into my law school five years ago for a seminar, this wasn't the choi seungcheol i'd grown to love as an icon."

fuck. five years ago? just how young were you?

"i'd advise you not to get emotional about the case. the courtroom is no place for admiration or lov- or any other emotions."

"and yet, you have no desire to live up to the expectations of hundreds of law students like me who look up to you? you don't care about the youth you're letting down with this attitude?"

"why should i? i'm surviving just fine, aren't i?"

by this point, seungcheol can see the way your nails dig into your own palms in frustration. it's so amusing, how emotionally you're dealing with this. in a world of black and white, seeing you behave gray in every scenario makes seungcheol think he's lived thirty-six years of his life incorrectly.

finally when you cannot come up with any rebuttal, you stand up, dragging your chair on purpose to make noise. "there's absolutely nothing more for me to talk to you about. i hope you've learnt about me today, choi seungcheol. i've certainly learnt a lot too." and you walk away before he has the opportunity to say anything.

_

lunch with seungcheol leaves you shaken and stuttering. even as you open the door of the cab outside and ask the driver to take you to the office without a second thought, you spend the entire journey lost in your own thoughts. every little moment of the meeting lingers in your mind, unsettling your confidence. from the way he calls you rookie to his quiet arrogance and confidence, everything about him is so frustrating and yet... he draws you in. your perception about him has definitely changed after today, but even with the added understanding of just how selfish choi seungcheol can be, you can't ignore the sheer attraction you feel towards him.

it stays on your mind through the next three days. and on the morning of the third trial, you're stuck with two different thoughts plaguing your mind.

the first: a genuine concern about how the third trial is going to pan out. it's likely to be your last chance to even bring the judge's opinion to your side, because if you can't present good enough evidence today, there's no way to sway the jury to your side.

the second: choi seungcheol is a man who annoys you but you also have this innate craving to impress him. your respect for him hasn't changed, but your conversation with him has revealed to you just how cutthroat the world of law really is. and his suave attitude, the confidence with which he's so sure he's going to win, and his infinitely superior experience to you makes some part of you so desperate to seek his attention and impress him. show him that you can do well too. show him that you're not going to make beginner's mistakes. show him that you're more than a mere rookie.

but when you walk into the courtroom, seola next to you, your sunglasses perched on your head, you stare at the empty bench behind you. it was supposed to be full with the four witnesses you'd invited today and were relying on to sail through the the third trial. frantically, you ask your colleague who's assisting you in the trial, "where are the witnesses? are they running late? can you ple-"

"they're not going to come today, y/n."

seungcheol's icy voice cuts through the chaos and reaches you sharply. you spin around to find him dressed immaculately in a midnight blue turtleneck that shows off the stubble growing down his jaw.

"sorry, what?"

"you heard me the first time. none of them are going to come today."

"and how do you know?"

seungcheol smirks as he shrugs and takes a step closer towards you. "i have my ways, rookie."

you're fuming at this point, but you really can't speak your mind because seola breaks down in tears right next to you and you can't help but shift away your focus from seungcheol's dangerous eyes and take care of her.

it's honestly a miracle that after the complete sweep that seungcheol presents in the third trial, with no new evidence nor substantial evidence from your end, you still get another chance at a fourth trial, scheduled two weeks from now, in a pitiful announcement from the judge, imploring you to use this final chance to collect as much as evidence as you can.

_

when the trial ends, you ask seola to go home, and you lock yourself up in a bathroom stall in the court building, trying to come to terms with everything that's come to pass today. it's been an overwhelming morning and you're still shaken badly by it all. every moment you spend in this world with seungcheol, he seems to make it his personal mission to show you that there's no place for softness or emotions in this cut-throat world.

when you exit the washroom, you find seungcheol standing outside, an unlit cigarette between his lips.

"did you bribe them?"

he turns to look at you, his eyes clearly wide in surprise. "what are you saying?"

you take a step closer to him, your entire body shaking with fury. "did you bribe the fucking witnesses?"

"we're in public, woman, control your tongue."

"i'm not ashamed of anything i'm saying though, are you?"

seungcheol's lips twist in distaste and he drags you away from the public place to a quieter spot secluded near the parking lot. "i understand you're frustrated because of that no-show today, but you're speaking nonsense-"

"i'm speaking perfect sense, seungcheol! only you knew that i was going to bring in witnesses today."

"only me?"

"except two people at my firm, one of who is my best friend, and the other is a colleague who's assisting me in the case."

"who knows? maybe your friend's the snitch-"

you step closer to him, seething in anger. "don't you fucking make false allegations, choi seungcheol!"

"you're the one making false allegations here, really."

"you'll have to admit it, seungcheol. someday. if all your fame and reputation has been through such cheap tricks and under-the-table dirty business, you'll have to pay for it-"

"or what?" seungcheol puts back the cigarette between his lips, and lights it with a lighter. he takes in a big puff, and exhales right into your face. "or what, y/n? maybe you should take my advice instead. and stop making rookie mistakes."

as he walks away from you, you shout behind him, "i'm going to expose you, seungcheol!"

"empty threats, la la la." his voice trails back, sending shivers down your spine, as you're left alone in the dark parking lot, wallowing in your own pathetic helplessness.

_

your search for further evidence has led you to a complete dead-end. the most important thing that you need, the one that will clinch the case for you absolutely, is any - even one- document directly coming from KNT to seola's husband. unfortunately, you've gone through his emails and fax multiple times, but found nothing. nothing on his laptop, no hard drives, no soft drives, no external devices, nothing on his mobile phone or other such devices either. today you're searching all his belongings again and again, but it's still the dead-end. you realise that there's no point looking for more witnesses because seungcheol's just going to drive them away by whatever tricks he's using. and you're confident that seungcheol's thinking a step ahead of you- so any new evidence sources that you might come up with now might have already been dismissed by seungcheol through some back-up plan of his.

"seola, i need you to think once more, please. did he use any other device apart from the one at his office and the one at home? any laptop or any other mobile phone?"

"no... i can't remember anything else, really. we couldn't afford anything more too..."

you grimace. "i hope you don't get offended, but i'm sure he received quite a bit of money from whatever services he was providing KNT. enough to motivate him to keep quiet and hold on for so long. otherwise an honest man like him wouldn't want to get into this mess, would he?"

seola doesn't reply immediately, tears silently dropping down his cheeks.

you sigh and place a hand on her shoulders, rubbing softly as she breaks down into more tears. in the last few weeks, you've become surprisingly quite close. you've comforted her through her worst moments, feeling compassionate both as a woman and as a lawyer. and she, in turn, has helped you without any qualms, in not just the case but also lent a patient ear to you whenever you've wanted to rant, made ramen for you whenever you've worked till late, and let you stay over at her place whenever the rain outside's become too torrential for you to take the bus back home.

after a few long moments, seola is finally able to gain back her composure. "y/n.... he did mention something about an outstation office... towards the outskirts of the city. he used to go there twice a month. he told me it was for sending out packages to the other branches of the company... but maybe you could see there once?" your eyes light up with excitement as you hear seola's words. is this finally the breakthrough you'd been looking for through high and low? is this finally going to be your trump card to win the case? your rational side tells you to not become overjoyed immediately, but something in you is desperate to see that cockiness wiped off seungcheol's face, and bring him down to earth from whatever higher place his arrogance has placed himself at.

"seola, can you give me any tentative location for it? i'm going to go check it now."

"now? but the forecast is showing there's going to be thunderstorms tonight! there's so much thunder grumbling out there-"

"it doesn't matter, seola. i can't afford to lose any more time."

_

seungcheol's been stuck in traffic for almost an hour now, and the windshield wiper is absolutely useless in preventing the rain from cascading on his front window. the rain is relentless- just like the thoughts tormenting his heart. the reason he's returning home so late is because there had been a dinner party at the workplace cafeteria, hosted by his colleagues and closest friends, jeonghan, joshua, wonwoo and minghao. they're all lawyers with their own reputations, and the only friends they all have now. the point of the dinner? celebrating seungcheol's (upcoming) win in the KNT vs mrs hwang case. (and also to get seungcheol's mind off y/n, who's distracted him from his work all week, ever since their encounter at the parking lot of the courthouse.)

it'd been a mistake to stay out for so long. a sheer lapse of judgement, and seungcheol has not choice but to curse at himself right now. his daughters have called him already, their voices sleepy as they stay up for their father to return home to eat ice cream with them, before they fall into bed.

"and yet, you have no desire to live up to the expectations of hundreds of law students like me who look up to you? you don't care about the youth you're letting down with this attitude?"

y/n's words ring in his mind.

as the rain pours down cruelly, seungcheol's heart lets out silent cries.

he's a failure.

he's failed his family. thirteen years ago, when his parents had cast him out of their house after he'd failed to get a job at a good law firm.

that attitude's gonna get you nowhere, kid! stop running your mouth and focus on your work!

he's failed his first love. nine years ago, four years before he'd finally made his mark in the country's law scene, his wife had divorced him and left their children with him, because he'd not been able to earn enough for her.

stop being such a social activist, seungcheol! the world isn't soft like you. stop being so stuck up and emotional!

and now he's failing his daughters. day after day, they'd stay up late, waiting to spend some quality time with their father. night after night, they'd end up sleeping alone because seungcheol's insomnia didn't let him sleep with them. month after month, he'd promise to take them to their long-due vacation, but he was always too busy to take leave for two weeks at once. year after year, they'd wait for him to come to sports' day but seungcheol could never make it.

appa, if you can't take us to jeju... can we go for the school trip this year to jeju? all our friends are going to go for it...

all these painful thoughts triggered simply by one person- you. you're an unprecedented variable in his life, someone he couldn't even imagine to be a part of his life even a month ago. and yet, you've made him feel so many emotions, that had become dormant for years, in such a short span of time.

he's disappointing you too.

he doesn't know why it hurts what you think of him. seungcheol had thought that at thirty-six, he's finally ascended from these petty thoughts. but somehow your judgemental gaze, your innocent words and your fresh perspectives have shaken him to the core.

or perhaps he does know why, and he doesn't want to acknowledge it.

you remind him of himself.

but you're far better than he was. he'd been a coward, a loser, too quick to give up, and too hasty to drown in his own pity party. you're a fighter, a challenger, not accepting the cruelties of status quo, and too passionate to give up your sense of justice just to fit in with the cut-throat dirty reality.

you're 10 times the lawyer than he could ever be, and something about that makes him so inexplicably drawn to you.

because you're the person he's always wanted to idolised.

no wonder that when you'd told him that you'd looked up to him as an idol, he'd laughed at himself.

the traffic jam disperses slowly, and seungcheol breaks out of his daze. the clock shows 10.30 pm, and the rain shows no sign of stopping. thankfully, the traffic is now moving smoothly.

_

after almost half an hour of standing at the bus stop, waiting for something to pass by, there's finally a car with a very bright beam slowing down in front of you. it's a private car, but you hope it can give you a l-

"what are you doing here?!" the words escape your mouth as soon as you notice who's in the driver as the car window rolls down.

"get in, rookie."

you consider hesitating, but seungcheol's car looks warm... and safe. so you do get in, hating how there's water everywhere you're touching, spoiling the clearly expensive leather of the seats. but seungcheol doesn't say anything even as you shuffle in and finally settle on the passenger seat.

he thankfully doesn't ask you anything as he lets you take a breath and get warm enough. so about five minutes pass before he asks you, "what were you thinking, standing out there in this rain?" his voice is low, almost cracked, but laced with serious concern. you notice that he's still dressed in his typical suits. is he returning from work so late?

"i had work here," you say carefully avoiding the connection about the case.

"so late at night?"

"it was important."

"that it couldn't wait till the morning?"

"no."

you're aware by the way his jaw is clenched that he's getting annoyed by your short answers. but you have no option except to be as vague as possible- his mind works too fast for you.

"where's your home?"

you tell him the locality, and he sighs. "that's on the opposite side of town."

"i know, just... maybe you can drop me at a more crowded bus stop? the one where i was waiting was a bit remote, but a more crowded one will definitely have more frequent buses-"

"you're out of your mind."

"huh?"

"just because you're irresponsible doesn't mean i will be too. i cannot and will not leave you in the middle of the road in this rain so late at night."

"seungcheol, i don't want to barge-"

"you're not barging into anything. you'll come home with me, change into drier clothes and sleep in for the night so that you don't fall sick."

"y-your home?"

"yes. do you have a better idea?"

you gulp, his gaze stern. you don't have a better idea, in fact getting to change into warm clothes and get into someone's house sounds divine right now. the only problem is that it's.... seungcheol's home. if you can't handle him in his everyday suits, you wonder what thoughts seungcheol in his natural abode will spark in you.

"i'll always be grateful to you."

seungcheol nods, and the rest of the journey is silent.

_

seungcheol doesn't know yet if it's a good or a bad idea. he did it as an impulse- perhaps some part of him hopes he's still redeemable in your eyes, so he wants to do the right thing for once. but he won't know if it's the right think for everyone until he reaches home.

when he parks the car and takes you up to his flat, he can hear the television blaring harry potter from outside the flat, and he can see the way your eyebrows furrow at the sound. so he slowly unlocks the door, to reveal his two daughters sitting on the couch, undoubtedly watching their favourite harry potter movies again, wearing identical pyjamas specially designed for the identical twins.

he can hear you gasp as you step into the house, and the girls come into your view.

there's an awkward moment of silence and staring, before sol comes running to him and wraps herself around his waist. "appa! we're right at the last scene of prisoner of azkaban, your favourite part!"

seungcheol almost tears up. how can they welcome him so warmly every night even though he's come home so late?

he clears his throat. "sounds like you've been having fun, girls. but first, say hello to y/n unnie-"

"imo," you whisper next to him, your figure shrunk with the cold.

"no unnie," he whispers back. "this is choi sol, our maknae, and that's choi byul, my eldest." the girls wave and shyly say hello, their dimpled smiles flashing politely as they bow. you bow back, "hi sol and byul! sorry you're meeting unnie in this state~"

"are you also a lawyer?"

"did you get caught in the rain?"

"do you work with appa in his office?"

"do you want fresh clothes?"

you giggle at the contrasting questions from the two girls, their starkly different personalities evident. "yes, yes, no, and yes please, if you could be so kind," you smile back, your dainty lips curving into a pretty bow that takes his breath away. sollie shifts from where she'd been wrapped around seungcheol to take your hand gently. "do you think my clothes will fit you? i think byul's clothes will. she has a very warm nightdress..." and she drags you away to her room, welcoming you in without even a single moment's hesitation. byul is more reserved in her welcome, but still warm. she follows the two of you shortly, and seungcheol is left at his doorstep alone, but filled with such a flurry of emotions in his heart that leaves his soul warmed unlike he's felt in years.

about twenty minutes later, he comes out of his bathroom after a refreshing warm shower, his hair soft after the shampoo. he can hear voices from the kitchen, loud-pitched voices of his daughters and the softer, lower voice that he recognises as you.

"unnie, do you want to have ramen?" byul's voice rings out. "we were going to have ice cream but you might feel too cold for that." sol adds, "did you eat dinner, unnie? didn't appa eat dinner with you?" "no, w- we- he picked me on the way when he saw me stranded in the rain. we didn't have dinner... together."

seungcheol's heart breaks and heals a little at the same time. he's taken the right step for now... but seeing his little girls like this have generated images and thoughts in his mind that he had shelved away forever.

the idea of a family.

the idea of giving them a new mother figure.

as he walks towards the kitchen, he can see the way sol and byul cling to you although they've met you barely half an hour ago. perhaps it's because they don't have any cousins and you feel like a sister? perhaps it's because they like bossing over adults, especially since they boss over him so much? perhaps it's because they've already been charmed by your magnetic appeal- your softness and your innocence, mingled with an intelligence that lets you befriend everyone.

"are y'all annoying y/n already?" byul immediately faux pouts, and he can see your eyes light up. "seungcheol, she looks exactly like you," your voice whispers with the revelation. "yes, she's my daughter. kinda expected, don't you think?" he laughs. it's sarcastic of course, because sol and byul actually resemble him more than any other father-daughter pair he's seen in his life. it's almost like they haven't gotten any of their mother's genes. and seungcheol doesn't really regret it. it's been nine years, he's gotten over that pain. his only regret is to not be able to provide a second parent to his children, who'd grown up in spite of being cut off completely by their mother. and his busy life has left him with no space to date or even think of marriage...

except right now.

right now, when he sees you wearing byul's nightdress that barely reaches your knees, cooking ramen with sol sitting on the kitchen counter next to you, chatting away about harry potter, and byul carefully carving out ice cream into bowls for the four of them, seungcheol thinks maybe it's time.

maybe he's found the one.

and maybe, he's already fallen beyond scope to return.

_

you didn't get much chance to talk to seungcheol last night, but when you wake up on the guest bed the next morning, you can see him as soon as you open the door. he's sitting in the balcony, sipping a cup of tea, reading a newspaper, his glasses sitting prettily on his nose.

"morning," your voice is still raspy in spite of your sleep being perfectly fulfilling.

he turns to look at you, his gaze uncharacteristically soft, much different from how he sees you at court.

"hi. tea?"

you nod, and wobble over to sit next to him. the tea clears your throat a lot, and you can finally open your eyes wide enough to see the glorious view from his balcony. so you soak in the nature for some time, while seungcheol buries his nose into the newspaper again.

"i didn't know you were a father."

seungcheol hums. "did you like them? my girls? they liked you a lot."

"can't help but not like them. they balance each other so perfectly- as if they're your twin personas."

"that's deep."

"but it's true."

seungcheol chuckles and goes back to his newspaper. the morning air hits your face and you feel so much more alive than you'd normally do on a thursday morning. "when do you have to get to work?" he asks you.

"i still have about an hour and half left."

"will you go home and then-"

"yeah. the office is really close to my place, like a minute's walk. so i'll leave soon, don't worry-"

"you'll stay for breakfast." seungcheol says firmly. "the girls will want to see you before you leave."

and you can't turn that down. so you simply nod in agreement, carefully taking a look at the man sitting across you. seungcheol at home is so unimaginably different from seungcheol at court. if he's fire in the courtroom, then he's water at home. he's cold and practical in the real world, but with his daughters, he's the most gentle person you've met. something about the soft smile he gives when he indulges his girls. something about the way his eyes light up whenever they talk to him about anything, even if it's trivial. something about the way he's taken care of you since last night, not just giving you a shelter during a terrible night but also giving you so much warmth from his personal life. it's all made you see a completely different side to seungcheol than you'd met at the courtroom, and it's changed the way you've grown to see him completely.

now you know that seungcheol was not harsh to you that day at lunch, he was simply being realistic. his cockiness and arrogance is just self-confidence, it doesn't define who he is as a person. and he's still a man you can look up to and admit, without shame, to yourself that this is the ideal man in your eyes.

your phone pings right then, and you open it to see the mail that's arrived.

the cup of tea almost slips and falls from your hands as you jump up in your seat in joy. seungcheol looks up at you in alarm, "what happened?" your smile is bright, just like the sun this morning. "i have an emergency at work, i'll have to leave now! please say goodbye to sol and byul from my side!" and you rush into your room to change into your clothes from last night, still damp but at least cleaner, and you literally run out of the house, waving and thanking seungcheol again and again, leaving him very very confused indeed.

_

seungcheol feels incredibly at peace the next day when he walks into the courtroom. even though you'd disappeared suddenly like that without any explanation, he's quite sure that he's back in your good books. not that it matters much- because what really counts is how he's feeling about himself. and after many years, he's feeling good. the usual guilt that engulfs him as a whole every day as he wakes up to face a new morning, isn't bothering him. he feels like he's achieved something, he's done something right, and he's going to get better from now on.

but as soon as he pushes open the doors of the courtroom, he feels like he's missing something out. everyone on his side of the bench seems flustered as hell, papers rumpled and expressions distraught. but he doesn't get an opportunity to ask what's going on because you catch his attention first.

"seungcheol, can we talk for a second?"

"not right now, i have to talk to my team-"

"this is urgent. you'll want to hear this, i promise."

seungcheol lets out a long sigh as he takes in your words. there's a crisp confidence in your words today that intrigue him. "okay go ahead," he finally replies.

"in private, if you please." he follows you wordlessly out of the room, and you lead him out towards a small isolated office in the corner of the building, that's totally deserted. seungcheol leans back against the closed door, completely silent as he waits for you to settle your papers and finally look up at him.

"so what's this about? you wanna kiss me or someth-"

"you're going to lose the case today. i've found enough evidence to prove the absolute guilt of KNT, and the ceo will go to jail by the end of the court session today."

"you're bluffing me."

"i can show you the evidence, but i'd rather you'd see it in court."

"then why are you telling me this now? to pity me?" seungcheol's mouth fills with bile as a dread settles over him. the tables are turned- now he feels as rattled as he had seen you feel that day at lunch. what if you're being serious right now? what if you've actually found incriminating evidence? but he's gone through all potential sources of evidence with his client, left no stone unturned to hide all tracks-

"so that maybe you can step off the case in time. do you really want your daughters to find out you've been defending your client for so long knowing you're defending a criminal?"

seungcheol's heart skips a beat.

"do not bring them into this."

"i'm not bringing anyone into anything. this is just me being nice to you because i know what it feels like to be disappointed by someone you look up to."

"do you hear what you're saying, y/n?" he takes two steps closer to you. "this is borderline blackmail. i don't even know if you're bluffing or not, and you're already blackmailing me using my daughters. have you fallen to the same crude level i'm in? are you going to disappoint me like this?"

his words have the expected effect on you. he can see your cheeks flush pink. "seu-seungcheol, don't twist my words." you take a step back, your back straightening as he sees confidence seep back into your face.

"and maybe you should stop worrying about my morals and worry more about how badly you're going to lose the case. from next time, don't make rookie mistakes." your finals words, before you leave the room, ring in his ears and cause goosebumps to erupt all over his skin.

as soon as you're gone, seungcheol slams the desk in front of him, his brain running at a hundred miles an hour. what might have slipped from his sight? what might he have missed? he immediately calls the ceo of KNT enterprises.

"what have you been hiding from me?"

"oh? mr choi, what happened to greetings? good morning to yo-"

"nothing's good about today morning, mr kim. what have you been hiding from me? i'm not going to ask you again."

"nothing! i've bared my entire soul to you for the case."

"mr kim, there's a fresh piece of incriminating evidence that's been found, and i cannot do anything to stop mrs hwang's lawyer from submitting it to the court unless you tell me what it is exactly."

"mr choi, you're mistaken, there's nothing left to be wiped-"

"the first rule of a client and lawyer relationship," his voice is seething and snarky, volume rising with each word, "is that you should never lie to your lawyer." seungcheol knows if mr kim was in front of him right now, he'd be quaking in his shoes. he can imagine a similar situation on the other side of the phone too. he knows he's intimidating enough when he wants to be.

"i didn't think it would be important-"

"you're not the person to judge what's important and what's not, mr kim."

there's a sigh and the voice becomes shaky.

"there's an outstation branch..."

_

the case ends unceremoniously. there are no paparazzi waiting for you outside the courtroom, ready to capture your life's first win. there are no cameras flashing on you, no historic moments being documented, no crowds gathering to celebrate this win for the masses.

there's just seola's happy tears and a wildly beautiful feeling of victory in your heart as realisation ultimately sinks in for you. it's a clean win- the evidence showing unmatched proof of orders coming from KNT to mr hwang, detailing all sorts of illegal activities and even records of payments being made to mr hwang. it's really crazy how it's not been eradicated cleanly already by seungcheol. clearly, either he or his client had underestimated you.

but you'd proven them wrong.

yoona's the only who comes to see you outside the courtroom after the win. there's a bright smile on her face as she hugs you and congratulates you. seola promises that she's going to take you out on a treat right now. other colleagues from your workplace call you to congratulate you on the win.

and yet you feel empty.

seungcheol's gone. he hadn't come for the trial. he'd not been in the courtroom for the final statements, his aide quoting something about a family emergency. he'd run with his tail between his legs, ashamed of his failure and finally realising his stupidity. this thought should be giving you satisfaction, but surprisingly, it doesn't. it leaves you feeling empty, still wanting something even though you've won the case just now.

but there's no way to reach out to him. you don't even have his number for god's sake, and it would be awfully awkward to go to his house. and what would you say? that you missed seeing his sad face in court when the verdict was announced? that you wanted to see if he'd be proud of you for winning the case? that you wanted to impress him by beating him in the case cleanly without any dirty tricks? so you go to eat out with yoona and seola, and decide to stop thinking about seungcheol any further.

_

it's about seven in the evening when you make it back to your tiny flat in a shabby part of town, the house dark as you'd left it in the morning after rushing home from seungcheol's place. you smile to yourself when you unlock your home using the password on the door, thinking of how you'd been with seungcheol's adorable daughters last night, and how much fun you'd had with them.

your bag falls from your hand as you open the door.

"seungcheol?!" your voice is a shaky whisper, shocked to see him inside your house. "how the fuck did you get in?"

he's still wearing the suit he'd worn in the morning, and yet he looks divine in the dim reflection of lights from the world outside the window.

"your password's your birthday. got it on my first try."

"and how do you know my birthday?"

he takes a step closer, his body towering over yours. "shhh. it's called knowing your opponent."

there's something so oddly intimate about seeing him in your flat, in the shadows of your home. the street light illuminates one side of his face, and you can't breathe because of how gorgeous he looks.

"why do you know my birthday, seungcheol? really it's not going to help you in any way-"

"it did help me get into your house."

you lightly pick up the bag from on the floor next to you, and you walk past him. "which brings me back to the first question. why are you here?"

you're purposely avoiding his gaze, the intensity making you feel things. there's a plethora of emotions in your heart right now- finally the emptiness in your heart dissipates as you can feel yourself surrounded by seungcheol. you're taking off your blazer, untying your hair, walking over to the sink to wash your face... but you can't ignore the way you can feel seungcheol's eyes on your back. his heady scent clouds your senses, and you feel weak in your limbs. first he's intruding your house, and now your heart too?

"i have a question to ask you." he speaks after a long time, when you've finally cleaned up and taken out a cup of strawberry yoghurt from the refridgerator.

"you could've asked me on the phone." you lean back on a wall, putting yourself as far away from seungcheol as possible in your tiny flat. he's in the darkness, you're in the light, but you're still feeling small and vulnerable under his gaze.

"i couldn't. it's serious." he starts walking towards you.

"seungcheol, if this is about me trying to expose your shit, i'm not going t-" seungcheol puts his hand on your lips, pushing you against the wall.

"fuck that. this isn't about that."

you cock your eyebrow, mumbling against his hand, "then what is it about?"

seungcheol doesn't answer at once, his gaze continuing to pin you against the wall, and a hand comes around you to trap you between his bigger body and the wall. "seungcheol?"

"answer me honestly, okay?" his voice is raw, slightly wobbly, and you're getting more and more curious. you nod slowly, encouraging him to say whatever's on his mind. but he doesn't say anything. a few minutes pass just like that- or maybe an hour. his scent makes you dizzy, you can't think of anything but how his big figure is over you totally.

"when you said you looked up to me in college... i know i ruined that image. b- but... can you... fuck. wait. canyoueverforgiveme?"

"what?" you ask, confused at what he just said. he removes the hand from your mouth, standing even closer than before.

"can you ever forgive me? will you let me show you a better side of me? can i ever get in your good books again?"

your breath stops for a second. why does this matter for him? doesn't he already know the state he's left your heart in since last night- ever since he'd brought you into his car, he's already been promoted to your ideal man again.

"show me a better side of you? what do you mean, seungcheol?"

he sighs for a second, before straightening his posture, becoming impossibly even bigger.

"will you ever see me as a man, y/n?"

your knees almost give in. the fuck is his implying? are you dreaming this? is this a fever drea-

seungcheol leans in and kisses your cheek, close enough to your lips, his breath falling on your skin, and making your body tingle. "will you let me show you myself to you like this?" on instinct, you tilt your head away to give him more access, your body shivering with the intimacy. so he kisses your cheek again, closer yet to your lips, and you turn your head slightly to capture his lips, but he moves away.

"y/n, don't leave me hanging please. i know you might find this odd... but i've come to feel things for you that i didn't even know remained in me. you're an extraordinary woman, one of a kind. in all my life, i haven't met anyone like you. not even my ex-wife. you don't know this yet but you're the ideal image of perfection i've always thought of."

then he stops talking for a second, clearly expecting an answer from you. but your mind can't form words, not with the way you have tunnel vision on his face right now, your eyes drifting to his pretty cherry lips, to his long eyelashes, to the beautifully expressive eyes you've fantasised about since your college days.

"y/n, say something please." his voice is desperate, and you break out of your daze.

"you're my ideal man too, seungcheol. you have no idea for how long." there's a blush creeping on your cheeks, but in the dim yellow lighting, you can see an identical blush rise on his cheeks too. so you lean in and finally kiss his elusive lips, feeling the taste of his chapped but pretty lips on yours, feeling the way his body steps even closer to yours, one arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you to him, and your body melts as you feel the warmth from his body. the kisses slowly grow in pace, the momentum rising, as he kisses you more and more hungrily, his tongue entering your mouth too, as he begins to bite your lips and leaves you breathless and moaning just from a few kisses.

"god, rookie. you sure know how to kiss."

"i know how to do a lot of things, seungcheol." you know you're bad at dirty talk, you've never really succeeded at it during your few college experiences of sex. but somehow, seungcheol's eyes roll back at your words and you feel his heartbeat quicken up too. maybe it's working on him?

you try to test your hypothesis by gently wrapping your hands around his neck, slowly untying his tie, slipping it to the floor. once it's off, you rub your hands all over his chest, feeling the pure hard muscle flex under your muscles. his breathing is as hot and heavy as yours, and you slowly untuck his shirt from his pants, unbuttoning it carefully.

"must you torture me like this, y/n?" his eyes are glazed over, but you look up at him innocently. "what, seungcheol?" "fuck it, you're such a tease, princess." princess. he pushes you against the wall and kisses you again, one hand wrapped around your hair as he pulls you in, and another hand helping you unbutton his shirt and get it out of the way. seungcheol doesn't stop kissing you even when he begins to unbutton your own shirt, but his hands wander all over the skin he slowly unravels. it's like his own adventure mission, the gentle but urgent way he touches your skin, almost worshipping.

"you're so perfect, y/n." you whimper when he cups your breasts from over your simple black bra that does nothing to flaunt your tits, but somehow seungcheol's appreciating it all. are you really his perfect woman?

"do you mean it, seungcheol?" your voice is so weak, but it takes seungcheol aback. "what do you mean, y/n? you don't think i find you beautiful? is that why i've been dreaming about you every night these days? is that why you're always on my mind? is that why i died and came back from heaven last night when i saw you with my kids?" your breath hitches as he tilts your face to look at him. "you're the most perfect woman i've ever met, i told you. you've gotta believe me, y/n. or do i have to show you?"

"maybe, yes?"

he groans at your words, and his eyes become darker. "fuck, where's your bedroom, babe?"

_

seungcheol's touch is like moonlight caressing the ripples of a pond at midnight. a soft, gentle touch that lights up every inch of your skin that he touches. as the moonlight kisses the water and makes it ebb and flow with it, seungcheol's movements guide your body too. he's laying you out on a bed, his hands wandering all over your skin. as he takes in your figure, you let him, because he's making you feel so good. he kisses all over your body, your limbs tangling as you can't get enough of each other. seungcheol is all muscle, his hard planes flexing against your supple skin. he pins you against the headpost of your small double size bed, one hand wrapped around your waist, and the other caressing your breasts, making sure there's not even a single inch of your skin that's left untouched.

"did i tell you i think you're perfect?" his words are feverish, and leave you lost for words. so you can't reply to him, hoping he gets the way you feel about him too through your desperate whines and moans, pulling him closer if he puts even a hair's distance between your bodies. something about him being so big and engulfing your smaller stature is so hot, you can feel yourself getting aroused by the minute.

"seungcheol, i w- want to... touch you," you finally whisper out, and he pulls away from where he's been kissing your neck. "but you are?"

you shake your head and shove him lightly until he's on his back, and you're hovering above him. he's still wearing his pants while he's stripped you naked, so you do the honours for him. "what are you doing," his voice is strained. "want to touch you there," you focus on taking his trousers off until he's just in his underwear under you- his bulge quite obvious to you. if you weren't wet enough earlier, seeing the massive wet patch on his grey boxers leaves your own underwear soaked. is he this aroused because of you?

seungcheol seems to read your mind as he brings your face towards his own, whispering with hot breath, "do you see what you do to me, princess? got me wrecked and ruined." his confession is so raw, you lean in to kiss him again. as you do, your hand wraps around his clothed dick, and he groans into your mouth. "fuck fuck fuck," he curses as you begin to rub it softly. "i'm going to cum right now if you do that- babe, p-please!" he finally gets your hand off his dick, eyes large.

and then you giggle. something about seeing seungcheol so desperate triggers something off in you, makes you more determined to ruin him. so you pull off his boxers and take his erect, red cock straight into your mouth. seungcheol's body trembles with surprise, your name leaving his mouth in broken moans as he cannot take the pleasure of your mouth sucking him off in an excruciatingly slow speed. and you don't stop, even when his hand comes around the nape of your neck to keep you in place, even when you feel his entire body tense up with the imminent orgasm. you don't stop until he comes inside your mouth, spewing string after string of his hot seed, and you swallow it all. his breathing is laboured as he watches you lick off the last bits of the orgasm from his dick.

but your self-satisfaction of having the upper hand only lasts for so long. seungcheol's competitive side kicks in soon and he quickly flips over to pin you under him on the bed, his teeth nibbling at your chest, leaving pretty hickeys all over.

"let me return the favour, darling."

you don't know what he means right then by return the favour, but never in your wildest dreams, did you think it would include seungcheol burying his face into your cunt, his nose rubbing against your clit as his tongue laps up your wetness.

"fuck! no- seungcheol- pl-please, cheol!"

"do you want me to stop?" he asks you, his face barely moving up inches from your pussy to look into your eyes.

you hesitate before answering, so he softly kisses your stomach. "tell me, princess."

"i've never done this before..."

"what? sex?"

"no. oral. like no one's ever gone down on me before..."

and seungcheol doesn't waste another minute. he uses his teeth to push aside your panties and inserts his tongue right into your sloppy cunt, and you scream out his name. he doesn't go slow, and you don't want him to go slow. he's showing you all the stars in the sky, so you grab onto his hair to move his head back to a particularly good spot, and he moans incoherently when you tug at his locks. and within minutes, you're reaching your high, your screams getting stuck in your throat as you close your eyes and arch your back off the bed.

thankfully, seungcheol gets his face out of your cunt and hovers over you to take in your writhing figure under the impact of the orgasm.

"so how was your first experience?" he asks you when you finally open your eyes and look at him, his lips smeared with your essence and his body.

"heavenly," you whisper, before pulling him into you, and kissing him again. you can get drunk on his kisses. he's leaving your lips abused and raw, but when he's spitting into your mouth, you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer, feeling the toughness of his back muscles shift under your touch. this position ends up making his cock graze against your clit, and you jerk in overstimulation. but you can feel how hard he's getting with the kissing and the way your hands are tugging his hair. the heavy length rests on your stomach, and seungcheol pulls away.

"need to be inside you now, princess." his words have this rawness to them- long gone is the smooth-talker lawyer choi seungcheol. it takes several moments for you to process that you've caused him to descend to this desperation.

"do you have a condom?" he asks you.

"hmm, i do." you point towards the dresser next to your bed, and he casually bends away to take it out from the dresser. you're getting more turned on by his easy flexibility, and as soon as he's got the condom rolled on to his dick, you pull him for kisses again.

"patience, baby," he laughs, as he pulls away again after kissing you, to nudge the tip of his dick on your folds. "nooo, need you now. need your lips." "did my kisses break you?" "i think so," your voice is a whisper and he leans in to kiss you again, a beautiful smile showing off his dimples.

and then he's slowly pushing inside you, making you whine out his name as you feel him stretch you. it's not an easy fit, but his kisses make the pain easier to bear. when a tear escapes your eyes, he asks you, his eyebrows furrowed in concern, "is it very painful?" "not very but it's been a while." he leaves kisses on your hairline. "i'll be gentle, princess."

you grip his locks tighter, pulling his face away to make eye contact.

"you better not dare, choi seungcheol."

something breaks in him. his hips begin to move faster, as he pushes your hands above your head, holding them as if handcuffed, and he's biting hickeys all over your neck. he's thrusting harder now, and your second-hand bed is already making noises. but it seems to arouse you more for some reason. something about him shaking everything around you and moulding you and everything about you to him makes you want him more.

you can't stop moaning his name, as he whispers into your ear, "i can feel how close you are baby. can feel your cunt clenching around me." "pl-please, cheol. need you more, please!" "more? faster?" you nod feverishly, and he pulls away, biting his bottom lip in concentration, one hand gripping the bed, and the other your leg around his waist, as he fucks into you.

you take in his full form, towering over you like adonis. beads of sweat falling down his pecs and his hair falling into his eyes. the sight is so beautiful that you cum right then, even as seungcheol fucks you through the orgasm.

you can feel that he's close, his dick twitching inside you, as he's making your eyes roll back. even after one orgasm, he keeps fucking you. "give me one more, baby. cum with me." and then he shifts one hand to rub your clit, and you moan under the additional touch. the last straw is when you clench around him so hard that he lets out a strangled moan and reaches his climax too. you can feel the condom become warmer, and you tremble all over as you cum again because of that sensation.

when your eyes open again, seungcheol's pulled out from you, but he sneakily lets in a finger in between your folds and licks it clean.

"seungcheol?" your broken whisper makes him look up at you.

he smirks. "you taste like nectar, baby."

_

seungcheol's insomnia doesn't let him get a full night's sleep on most nights. if he's lucky, he'll sleep for four hours at once, dreamless rest that leaves him fully charged for the next day. on other days, he'll stare into the night sky for hours, sleep eluding him. some nights he'll go to his daughters' room, and watch them sleep, his heart filling up with a warmth that's comforting like chicken soup. on other nights, he'll open his laptop, put on his glasses and finish his case files.

everyone wonders how seungcheol is so efficient at his profession. only he knows why.

but ever since you've come into his life, everything's changed.

he can no longer focus on work. he's distracted, making silly typing errors and forgetting details. but he's sleeping the best ever in a long time. he doesn't remember when was the last time he'd slept this well. it must've been before the fights had started with his ex-wife.

today, seungcheol sleeps for eight hours straight.

and he knows why.

it's because he's wrapped around you, your body melting into his under the duvet. your head's resting on his arm, but his arm doesn't hurt at all. your hair shines with the sunlight streaming in through the gaps between the curtains, but you sleep through the slight pouring into your eyes. you look particularly angelic today morning, and he feels his entire being shiver with the new-found affection for you.

you're his.

finally.

well, hopefully.

jeonghan had told him yesterday when he'd told him about his feelings for you, you've not been turned down until you've been turned down. so shoot your shot.

and oh, he had shot his shot. shot it too fast in fact. the clarity of the morning makes him suddenly worry if going straight into your bed last night had been too quick and you'll think poorly of him now. then there's the worry about you going to sleep without eating dinner last night- what if you wake up angry? another worry crops in his head as he realises it's a saturday. he doesn't have to go to work today, but you might have to. what if you get upset at him for not waking you up on time? the warm, glorious light in seungcheol's heart dims slightly as he realises you have so many reasons to turn him down.

so he lightly shakes you, whispering your name in your ear, until he feels you whisper out a soft five minutes. it makes his heart melt again, but he's more worried about you missing a work day.

"wake up, princess, you're going to be late."

as if hearing a magic word, you jolt awake, staring right into his eyes.

"late?! what's the time? fuck, it's nine-thirty!"

"it's saturday though. do you have work today?"

and then you fall back on his arm with a huff.

"saturday! of course i don't have work today. why did you wake me up!" you whine and turn around so that you're now snuggled into seungcheol's bare chest, your hair only slightly tickling him. the warm light in his heart shines bright again as he feels you cling to him.

"i didn't know if you work on saturday or not." seungcheol leaves a kiss in your hair, and you let out a satisfied sigh.

"now you know. never forget, okay? never wake me up on weekends."

never forget.

"i won't." another kiss in your hair. another sigh that makes his chest buzz. another kiss. and then you open one eye to peer at him, and he smiles at your cuteness. so there's another kiss, and then another, and then-

"stop!" you move out of his arms, giggling, your eyes finally open.

"i can't. you're too cute."

"shhhh!" you lean in to kiss him on the mouth, a gentle peck, and seungcheol takes the opportunity to wrap you in his arms again. "don't go far away." he's more serious that his tone implies, but somehow you realise that too. so you snuggle in closer, your head almost on his chest now. "i won't."

after a few long minutes of you being still in his arms, and him smelling your scent through your hair, you finally shuffle and pull him down so that his head is now resting on the pillow and you're resting your head on your palm, perched on the pillow using your elbow as support, looking down at him with clear fondness in your eyes.

"you're very romantic today, mr choi."

"do you not like it?"

"no. on the contrary, i love it."

at your words, he smiles, and you let out a fake gasp. "the rabbit has dimples!" and you attack his face with kisses, leaving him giggly and blushing as you smother him with love.

when you're finally done, he pulls your face in for a kiss and then you go back to your position to look at him from above.

"come lie down next to me."

"no this view is prettier."

seungcheol scoffs, hiding the way his heart is racing with your words. it's been years since anything barely romantic- a few dates here and there. but this is teenage seungcheol again, falling head over heels for a girl with a pretty smile and a cute way of speaking her mind.

"this view is the prettiest," he says and he's rewarded with your pretty smile again. so he spends a minute staring at the view, taking in your beauty.

you've not been turned down until you've been turned down. so shoot your shot. somehow jeonghan's nagging voice comes up in his head again and makes him remember that he's yet to ask you properly.

so he counts to three and says it.

"i like you, y/n. a lot. as i told you last night."

a strawberry latte blush taints your cheeks.

"and as i told you last night, you're pretty much my dream man, seungcheol. i've been crushing on you since my freshman year."

well that was easy.

"that long?" seungcheol feels his confidence cruise back, a smirk on his lips.

"don't laugh at me."

"i'm not. it's just unbelievable that you liked me back then. i wasn't even well off back then."

"who even cares about that! you were confident, manly, intelligent and passionate about your work. and so, so handsome. how could anyone not like you?"

"am i not handsome now?"

"of course you are, silly. that's why i still like you." you roll your eyes, as if it's so obvious. "i couldn't even date guys for a long time because i kept comparing them to you in my mind."

seungcheol's eyes go wide. "wait, really? that's kinda sad."

you laugh. "maybe, but who cares? none of them were nice in the end. that's why i kept going back to crushing on you." you lean in to kiss the mole on his cheek.

"how long has it been since your last relationship?"

"hmmm, about seven months? broke up before i graduated."

"and sex?" he hopes you can't see the way he's holding back his breath as you answer. "about a year."

and then he lets out his breath.

"and you?" you ask him, running your fingers through his hair.

he hesitates before replying. "nine years," his voice is weak.

and then you do what he's been fearing for so long.

you laugh.

"wow. that's like... that is long." but your expression changes into a serious one soon. "but you haven't lost any of your technique yet. so it's a win in my books. i don't even have to be jealous of anyone else. who was your last lucky lady?"

"my ex-wife." seungcheol winces as he mentally prepares himself for all the reasons you might turn him down.

but you don't. your serious expression remains even as you're surprised. "you were married? is she the mother of sol and byul?"

"yeah."

you nod your head slowly, digesting the information. after a second you say, "i can't fathom why anyone would leave you and your two perfect little girls."

seungcheol's smile turns bitter. "she did. but it doesn't matter. she's found a better life now, after moving away to the US with her new husband. and i've found a better life too, moving away from her."

you nod again. "you're very brave, cheol." and you kiss his cheek again, and seungcheol's heart swells at how maturely you've handled this conversation. but there's yet more reasons for you to reject him.

when you pull away to look at him again, you softly ask him, "are your daughters okay with the idea of you dating again?" dating. there are tingles all over seungcheol's body as you finally quash all worries from his mind. "i haven't explicitly discussed this with them," he says with some hesitation. "that being said, i think they like you a lot. you made a very strong first impression. and trust me, for ten year olds as stubborn as mine, a first impression is all that matters."

"they're just like you," you giggle, your hand fondly cupping his cheek. "but seriously. they like me as a friend... as your colleague. what if they don't like me as your... girlfriend?"

girlfriend. seungcheol wants to flip you down on the bed and make love to you all over again, but he resists his urge. he settles for wrapping his hand around your hips and caressing them. "they'll love you, princess. they've longed for a mother figure for long enough." after a pause he says, "i'm worried they'll not see you as a mother figure but as a sister."

you burst out laughing. "what?!"

"i'm much older than you, y/n."

"so?"

"i'm thirty-six, y/n."

"that's not old. i'm twenty-three."

seungcheol chokes on his own words. "exactly. i'm literally old enough to be your father, y/n."

"well, you'd have to become a father really really early then," you say, laughing.

"y/n, be serious."

"i am being serious. i've met men who're twenty but act like they're forty. what really matters is what you've got here-" and you poke at his chest where his heart's supposed to be.

"i'm going to die thirteen years before you!"

"darling, i don't think that's how death works."

darling. seungcheol's heart hammers against his chest as he pulls you in for a deep kiss. and then you pull away from him. "you're a dilf, seungcheol. that's like 80% of why i'm attracted to you. bet i wouldn't be attracted to twenty-three year old you." there's a teasing glint in your eyes, but seungcheol still whines as he feels upset at your teasing words. "babyyyy!" you laugh at his deepening pout, and lean in to kiss his pout in a peck, before getting out of bed.

seungcheol's mouth falls open as he takes in your soft curves which look even more alluring in the daylight. something about the way your ass sways as you walk makes his dick twitch in interest, but seungcheol curses himself. he can't be thirty-six and this hormonal, for fucks' sake.

you open the closet door to pull out a loose t-shirt and shorts, wearing them without any underwear. "do you want to stay for breakfast?"

a lazy grin spreads on seungcheol's face as he stretches his body in bed, relishing the way you ogle his stretching biceps, and he casually pushes the blanket away from his hips to reveal his toned stomach to you too.

"i want to stay for the rest of my life, rookie."

he's left with no doubt of reciprocation of his feeling as he sees the blush on your face as you hide and run from him at his cheesy words.

[danse--macabre]

unpopular astarion headcanons r.e. mirrors and reflections:

while I love the memes around this, I don't think, unless you had a particularly charismatic tav/durge, the whole party would draw him / contribute to some kind of spell where he could see his reflection. Obviously there's room for difference given how many routes your playthrough can take, but generally: he's not universally loved in the same way Karlach is, he's not the heart of the party, he's mostly clinging to the edge of it (and that's fine!)

I think showing him his reflection would impact him deeply and therefore if it is done at the wrong time/place, he'd actually resent the person who did it. this is because you're making him appear vulnerable.

e.g. if the venue is too public, if the others could see, he'd dislike the fact that others can see a moment of vulnerability

alternatively: if your approval with astarion is too low, he'd automatically distrust it / question your motives. this is someone who simply does not believe that people will be kind unprompted to strangers (because doing so violates his worldview and in some ways makes his abuse feel crueller -- if no one cares, there's a logic to what happened to him, at least)

the more permanent the method, the more effort put in, the more likely he is to have mixed/negative feelings towards it. a sketch is a kindness, but not one that requires a great sacrifice or planning - it's easy to dismiss as a fleeting gesture (while he will keep it, obviously, to look at, because he's not that willing to believe his own bullshit).

in contrast, if a permanent method of showing his reflection was given - e.g. a charmed mirror that casts a spell - I think astarion, with a high approval PC, would feel on some level obligated to pay that 'debt' back. astarion strikes me as someone who distrusts thoughtful, non-flippant gifts because again, he's used to transactional relationships.

I also think it might strike at an insecurity: the knowledge that astarion lacks autonomy/independence to deal with his own issues by himself, and, with some bitterness, is dependent on the PC to help him. if you give astarion an enchanted mirror, he, on some level, feels he is dependent on your magic and your supply of magical items to gain access to an element of his humanity. that doesn't entirely sit comfortably with him.

the "best" way to deal with this? let astarion figure out how to handle this himself. for example: gifting him a 'mirror image' spell scroll or something similar. give him time to study the scroll and he'll find a way to cast that spell himself. mechanically, astarion isn't a wizard, but narratively, his default class is arcane trickster, he has access to magic, I don't think it is really that much of a stretch to believe he could achieve that. in general, I think handing astarion the tools to achieve his own goals by himself will be more appreciated than handing that to him on a plate.

however! counterargument to consider: it may be more valuable in the long run to confront astarion's fear of dependence and the sense of reliance that exists particularly in a tav run, where you the PC have 'saved' him without needing to be saved in return. he needs to realise that the PC isn't expecting anything in return for friendship/romance.

either way, i think showing astarion his reflection is going to be more fraught than one might expect - a generous gift, obviously, he will take (he's been poor and starving enough not to turn it down), but there might be some tension beneath any show of gratitude your receive (or he might feign disinterest, if approval/trust is low enough!)

[meiguicha]

AITA for complimenting my colleague and kissing him on the cheek?

Blade x Fem!Reader - Reddit exists AU

its stupid4stupid

Update 1 - Final Update

r/AmItheAsshole ~ 9 system hr. ago

easternskiesonamoonlitnight

I (???F) work with a group of people who undertake a bunch of odd tasks, one of whom who I will refer to as Dao, (???M) is the colleague I'm now terrified that I have offended. To preface, he's gone through a lot and now has developed a certain mindset that makes him a little hard to approach. He's not very open with the rest of us, albeit I find he's a little colder towards me. Still, he isn't someone I would say is hostile, just quiet.

Now over the years, I may or may not have developed a not-so discrete crush on him but have no plans nor have acted on it. But now I'm scared I may have fucked up our entire professional relationship.

A few days ago, we had just started a new mission we received and so in an effort to further understand our target, we had to pretend to be a couple to gain access into a certain location. This is where shit started going sideways.

I rarely get to see Dao in anything other than his usual uniform (???) so when I saw him in a suit I couldn't help but to compliment him and to call him 'incredibly handsome'. This was just before we had to start our mission and he just scowled at me and told me to get a move on. For the rest of the night, I could feel him glaring at me every time we were separated. And also he just kept following after me from afar whenever I had to move elsewhere to talk to someone else.

There was also a moment where our status as a couple came under question so I kissed him on the cheek to really sell it. This isn't weird for me because I have done the same thing to my other colleagues on other missions but when I did it to Dao, he broke the table next to us from how hard he was gripping it.

When we were done and he was driving us back, he didn't talk to me even though I apologised for everything. He also took my bag that had the keys to my hotel room so I was forced to sleep with him for the night. I don't think he slept because I didn't and I could feel him staring at me.

I think I may have offended him but I don't know what I did. He refuses to tell me anything even after we finished our task, but now I just catch him glaring at me or tailing after me even during our day offs. There were a few times where I woke up and he was just staring at me in my bedroom, if not, there are times my door is left wide open even though I locked it.

I think I might have to just kill myself because quitting my job is not an option for me. And if I don't, I think he'll get me first.

So, AITA for calling my colleague handsome?

GalacticBaseballer069 ~ 8 system hr. ago ~ OP, what kind of job do you work where kissing your colleagues is normal. also do you take resumés

TileGamer4ever ~ 9 system hr. ago ~ NTA, I'm pretty sure your colleague is in love with you. easternskiesonamoonlitnight OP ~ 9 system hr.ago ~ I don't know what you're on, but give me some. I think I'm going to need it.

QuietonDeck ~ 6 system hr. ago ~ YTA, did you at least ask whether he was comfortable with you doing all of that to him? People like you think you're entitled to do whatever you want only to write it off as 'part of your personality' or 'normal for you'. You knew he was acting colder towards you and yet you chose to compliment him as some sick attempt to get closer to him. I hope he... Read more theyearspasson ~ 4 system hr. ago ~ dude are you reading this with your ass or something

[sehodreams]

hiya!! first off wanted to say i love ur blog and i enjoy reading all ur content but esp look out for ur toxic!riize headcanons those are fun haha, i was wondering if and only if ur comfortable with it cuz it’s a little weird.. but thoughts or a drabble about like bully! or toxic! sungchan with plus size!reader but he likes to tease her for her size sometimes but it’s really just to hide how attracted he is to every aspect of her.. idk like only if you’ve got some ideas, that’s all… thank you and i hope you have a great day!

pinching

TW and tags: oral sex (f receiving), bully!Sungchan x plus size!reader, bullying (duh), heavy dubcon.

WC: 1.8k

Comment: thank you so much hahaha, I'm happy that you like my silly content, I love toxic!riize too, to be honest, I also want to write a toxic!sungchan x plus size!reader, I have an idea but I've been so busy I haven't been able to write properly in days, still, i hope you like this bully!Sungchan. Pd: please look at that picture, I imagined him looking like that the whole time.

You have a couple of memories from that place, like how good it felt to hug your grandmother before bed, how there was a little stall in front of your school that always had tasty sweets, and how there was a little boy you used to walk home with after classes finished.

There wasn’t much objection once your mother said you would go back and live together in your grandmother's place to not leave the house empty. You had a couple of friends, but it was nothing special, so you said goodbye to them and moved with your mother without problem.

You had to admit you were even kind of happy, perhaps you could eat those sweets again, and you wouldn’t be able to hug your grandmother, but at least you would feel her presence with the old floors and flower decorations that surrounded every room, and especially, you hoped you could see him again.

You should've known by that point in your life that having expectations only leaves you with the sour aftertaste of disappointments.

The stall wasn’t there anymore, your mother changed the whole house, leaving no trace of your grandmother behind, and the sweet boy that used to follow you with a smile now followed you to make fun of you.

It was easy to recognize him, he had the same eyes and shiny smile, and you were elated to see a good old friend now all grown up into a real man, but he wasn’t as happy to see you there, showing you a disgusted face once you told him who you were.

‘’Don’t fucking talk to me’’ he said, and you didn’t understand what you had done wrong, perhaps you were too confident, or your perfume wasn’t to his liking, or your hand was sweating too much when you touched him, you had no idea why he reacted like that, but you understood that, just like his appearance, he had changed, because that sweet boy you used to know would never talk to you that way.

Just that interaction was enough to make you never want to approach him again, and you tried to not even look at him when you recognized his voice, you didn't want to hear that tone ever again, and you did your best, but it was useless, you had become his new favourite thing.

At first, he was all words and no bite, throwing comments every now and then about your physical appearance, comparing you to a pig when you ate your lunch in the cafeteria, or mocking your uniform for being bigger than normal because of your size.

His friends only laughed at his comments, and those who weren’t his friends stayed silent, no one dared to approach you afraid of receiving the same treatment.

Then, he started to touch you.

He pinched your arm, telling you to give him your homework to copy it, then it was your cheeks, telling you to stop eating if you didn’t want to gain weight, and then, one day, when all of them had left for EP class and you were searching for your towel in your seat, from behind, he pinched your waist.

You turned to him, scared, it had hurt a lot more than when he did it to your cheek, and he definitely had done it with the intention of hurting you.

When you looked at his face, his typical grin wasn’t there, replaced by a surprised face and curious eyes, and you felt that something wrong was about to happen, so you pushed him out of the way and walked out of there as soon as you could without caring that you left with empty hands.

‘’Where’s your towel?’’ your professor asked you.

‘’I forgot it’’ you answered, not wanting to go back to the classroom.

Later, Sungchan arrived with your towel in his hand, and you got punished for not bringing all the obligatory material.

He got worse.

if he crossed you in the hallways, he would shamelessly pinch your waist until you hissed, and when he found you in the library, between shelves, he would pinch your ass, grinning from ear to ear at the picture of you biting your lips to not make a sound and get in trouble again.

As if everything he did was an innocent game, he smiled at you after nipping you in different parts of your body, like the side of your ribcage when you decided to walk away, the back of your hand when you tried to push him or your thighs when he sat beside you in the cafeteria or the study room.

‘’Why are you doing this?’’ you whispered, pushing his hand away from prying under your skirt and pinching your upper leg.

‘’Look at all that skin, your body is begging for it’’ he answered, grabbing your round hand with force to stop you from getting away, and then when you tried to do it again, he pinched the space of your boob that your bra didn’t cover, making you whimper of pain, laughing at your hurt expression.

‘’It really hurts!’’ you tried to reason with him, but he was a lost case, and he didn’t care that you were full of little purple and green spots, flinching at the mere sight of him lurking around, he wanted more.

This is going to end at one point, you tried to fool yourself.

He’d get tired and leave you alone when he found a new toy, it was impossible he only focused on you the whole time, and even if it was like that, it was your last year. After that, you’d never see him again.

Everything has an end.

Your house was the only safe space you had, even if it wasn’t anything like the warm memory you had about it, it was a place that had never been tainted by Sungchan, not like your school or the streets you walked to get there.

He would sometimes follow you and murmur insults while pretending he was your good friend walking you home, but once you opened your door and saw that he stayed feet away, you would exhale, relieved of him not trying to follow you inside too.

‘’Your friend is waiting for you in your room, I’ll go and buy something for you to eat later’’ your mother smiled, ‘’He’s become such a handsome boy’’.

She, unlike you, was excited to have him there, and you, trying to breathe properly to not show how the panic was consuming you, nodded.

There was nothing you could do to run away, it was your house, and opening your door, you saw him calmly looking at your stuff.

Your pillow wasn’t where you left it, he had definitely been roaming around for a while, invading your space and doing whatever he wanted, like he always did.

Standing in front of your bookshelf, one of your books open in his hands, he recognized your presence.

‘’Thought you would never come, didn’t know you took so many walks’’ he said and went through the pages of it, as if there was exactly something he was looking for, ‘’it doesn’t explain why you still look like that though’’.

‘’Sungchan… I’ve done nothing to you’’ you sounded as if you begging at that point, ‘’why… I don’t get why’’.

‘’I have my reasons’’ he answered, leaving the book where it was.

You flinched when he showed the intention of getting close to you, your hands becoming fists, alert, ready to run to another room in case he tried to hurt you again.

‘’We were friends’’ you said, lower lip trembling, ‘’please stop, Sungchan, it hurts’’.

He saw you like that, broken, vulnerable, and he beamed with it, walking towards you, and you thought your body would listen to you and escape, but it didn’t. Closing your door behind you, he pressed the little secure, making you finally react with the sound of the click, trembling in your place.

‘’But if I don’t touch you, who else will?’’ he whispered, taking your shaking hand, not pinching it this time, he interlocked his fingers with yours and pulled you closer to him, ‘’if you’re good, I’ll stop being so hard with you, what do you think about that?’’ he offered.

You didn’t understand, being good with what? You stayed still, looking up at him, your chest pressed against him, and his other hand went to rest over the small of your back, the generous curve from your ass to your waist that was the object of so many of his jokes.

You could see where the thing was going, and you felt yourself get nauseous with his aroma flooding your room and his temperature making you hot with almost no distance between your bodies.

‘’My mom will come back in any second…’’ you didn’t know what other excuse to use.

‘’I’ll be quick’’ his tongue poked out and wet his lips, sending a signal to your brain that screamed just be good and finish it.

‘’Will it hurt?’’ your face betrayed you, plainly showing all the fears you had, giving him, once again, the upper hand.

‘’Not anymore’’ he assured you. His hand that used to bring you so much pain suddenly became gentle and trailed up, caressing your arm with multiple marks from him, groping your chest a few times before he cupped your face. You didn’t make a single sound, not the hiss you always left out when he pinched you, or the cry when he was being too much, ‘’well done’’ he praised you when you let him open your thighs with his leg.

He quickly found his place, your pants were somewhere in your room, and his head was between your trembling legs, slurping all the involuntary wetness your body made you drip to accept him and not suffer.

Not being able to say his name properly, you moaned when his palms gripped your meaty thighs a bit too hard and his tongue found your entrance, bumping his nose against your clit between your plump folds, making you squirm at the intense sensation of him eating you out like a hungry man.

Your hands went to his hair, and you don’t know what flooded you, but you felt free to hurt him too, so you pulled his hair and moved your hips to crash his face, using him instead of the way around.

Then it felt good, to hurt him felt really good, and you thought, maybe this is why he does it, because you had never felt so powerful and in control before, especially with him.

Looking down, you two made eye contact even with your chubby stomach prodding out. His eyes had nothing of the mockery they always showed, completely lost instead, and you whimpered when he seemed pleased to have you focusing on him and what he was doing.

Not much after he started fucking you with his tongue the knot in your stomach started to feel so tight you knew it would snap in any second, so closing your large legs around his head, you crushed his head as much as you could while cumming, overflowing over his mouth and nose, asphyxiating him for a few seconds before you relaxed and finished giving him all you had.

He didn’t move away, gulping your juices and then moving his mouth up to leave a loving peck on your clit, as if he was proud you had abused him like that, and before he caught his breath again, he talked. ‘’See? This didn’t hurt’’ he smiled with the lower half of his face glistening with your orgasm.

[jovieinramshackle]

so uh

I love that Fellow is so expressive I love that his expressions are exaggerated I love how he frowns how he smiles how he gets angry I love his smug face I love the way his ears fall down when he's upset I love the way he moves his hands around I love his eye makeup and how it makes his orange eyes pop I love the fact he stitches up both his and Gino's outfits by himself using his talent in sewing I love that he's shown wearing glasses meaning he may be far-sighted

I love that he tries to help Gino with some letters and words despite not knowing much himself I love that it's so easy for him to understand Gino despite the boy being mute I love how it shows how easily they understand each other I love how he always asks for Gino’s opinion because he knows he can’t speak I love that he's so scared for Gino to gain possible false hopes about school and doesn't want him to feel the same disappointment and humiliation he once felt I love how he genuinely cares for him and considers him his younger brother despite not being blood-related and of different beastmen types

I love that he wants to live his life free and merry I love that he's genuinely one of the funniest characters I love that he manages to be so incredibly patient despite the NRC students getting on his nerves and his abusive boss constantly calling him and threatening him I love that despite not having pride he's still strong and capable to keep going until the end I love that he still clearly cares about children's education and the value of school and wants to somehow open his own one I love that it'll focus more on practical skills because he knows that regular schools don't do that I love that he basically said “fuck you” to his boss and blew up their whole fucking operation I love his signature spell and how despite it being weak his cunning and wit transforms it into a genuine threat

I love how he was able to win against the students I love how it showed how capable he truly is and that him changing his mind came from genuine self-refection and realisation and I love that Gino helped push him into the right direction and I love that he refused to come into NRC because being around those students would drive him insane I love it when he's unapologetically himself and doesn't need to suck up to higher ups I love it when he speaks his mind I love this man I love him so much I want to grab his face and bite it and pull the skin off I love him so much and sometimes I wonder what his life could have been like if only at least someone in his early life had helped and supported him to achieve his goals and

I know he’s honestly a pretty shitty person I just can’t help but want to give him a hug and keep him close to me so I can provide him with the comfort he never received and is now trying so hard to give to Gino goddamnit I love this man why is he like this someone help me

me too Pio me too

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 10

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Panic/Anxiety Attack. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f). Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 6.6k

Series List: Here!

Miss Track 9? Here!

Hi!!!! Once again I want to apologize for taking so long with this. I can't seem to ever stay awake to do anything. That being said, here it is! This is the last main chapter of our little lovebirds. There will be at least one, likely two bonus tracks coming soon though :) Also there's a smidge of Spanish in here from Pedro, but the translation is included in the end of the sentence. I took some Spanish classes back in the day but I don't speak it and had to use Google translate. So if it ISN'T right and you do speak Spanish, please let me know lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these little cuties on their first date. There's a lot, a lot, a lot of kissing in here (sorry...) and overall they're just grossly in love lol. Please let me know what you think, and if you've seriously read this far, I LOVE YOU! This is my first series, and honestly my first fic other than the one I wrote in my diary lmao. Like the reader, I am incredibly inexperienced so writing a relationship has been a bit of a challenge and half the time I don't believe the actual words I'm writing. But I really only started writing it as a way to write down my daydreams :) So to have support means the world to me, and hearing people comment/DM me saying how much they relate has meant so much and makes me feel a lot less alone, because ultimately, it doesn't matter how fictional it is, most of reader's feelings are my own. To anyone else in the same boat, I get you! Hang in there. I think there's a Pedro out there for us all. Someday. Anywho, pardon my ramble. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it. ❤

The next morning, you woke up and stretched your limbs, rolling over in your comfortable bed as the sunshine poured in through the window. At the shuffling of your body, Skipper groaned, wiggling a little in bed, nearly shoving you off the edge. You reached for your phone, blinking through your sleep a couple times before seeing a text from Pedro. “Good morning beautiful! I can't wait for our date today. I was thinking maybe we could start around 2:30 and spend the day together, if you'd like. But if that's too much, we can just make it a dinner date. Up to you which you would prefer. I understand either way. Love you ❤️”

He wants to spend the whole day with me!? And he sent me a good morning text and called me beautiful? Then signed it with a heart and love you?!!!! How did I get this man?

Your grin eclipsed your face, making you squint. If Mr. Grumpybutt weren't sharing the bed with you, you'd probably squeal and kick your feet. Tapping your phone screen, you typed out a reply. “Morning handsome ❤️ I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you. I love you too!” You sent the message before crawling out of bed gently, receiving a dirty look from Skip. 

“Alright Grump. Go back to bed. Geez,” you laughed. If looks could kill, you thought. He turned back on his side, letting out a grumble and sigh, resulting in a laugh from you. Acts like he pays rent and works 40 hours a week…

You took a relaxing shower, making sure to be all nice and fresh for your date with the man of your dreams. While brushing your teeth, you noticed he had replied. “Great, I can't wait. I'll be at your place at 2:30. :)”

“Can't wait to see you. What do you have planned? I'm wondering how to dress.”

“Wear whatever you feel good in, baby. I'm sure you'll look amazing. Probably something casual you can walk around comfortably in for the day. Maybe something a little dressier for the evening, but you don't need to carry it around. We will make a stop at your place before and you can change”

Wow he really has this planned out.

“What have you got planned, P? This sounds elaborate. You know you don't need to put in all that effort, I'm already yours ❤️”

“You deserve the world, my love.”

Dressed in a pair of leggings and a light sweater, you felt reasonably cute while still being comfortable for whatever activity Pedro had in mind. Plus, with the crisp November air, you would be nice and warm. You were just finishing tying your sneakers when your doorbell rang. 

You opened the door to find your handsome boyfriend standing on your step, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. “Mi amor,” he handed you the roses, kissing your cheek and hand. “Thank you Pedro,” your cheeks heated. “Come in,” you pulled his hand across the doorway towards the living room. Skipper pushed past you to investigate, causing Pedro to drop your hand.

“Well there he is! That handsome boy!” Skipper’s tail wagged and his butt wiggled as Pedro crouched to give ear scratches. “Oh, I love you too,” Pedro answered when Skip kissed his face frantically. A fit of giggles erupted from Pedro, making your heart swell with joy. He has the cutest laugh, and the fact that your dog is causing it was surreal. 

“You're just a beautiful boy! Aren't you?! Hermoso, igual que tu mamá,” he held Skipper’s face, kissing his nose. (Beautiful, just like your mama)

Your chest was filled with butterflies. Holy shit, he's charming. “Thank you, Pedro,” you said in a whisper, not even sure if he would hear. Turning his head from your dog, Pedro looked up at you, giving you a gentle smile; but the eye contact was quickly torn away when Skipper pressed a needy paw to Pedro's chest. Both of you now giggling, Pedro continued to pet Skipper, stopping to give him a hug and some more nose kisses.

“Alright. I gotta ask…” you prompted, causing Pedro to turn his head towards you again. “Are you just dating me to hang out with my dog?” You smirked.

Pedro turned back to Skipper, speaking in a low voice. “She's catching on to us buddy. We've been made.” You burst out laughing, Skipper looking over at you as if his plan really had been foiled.

Pedro gave a final pat on Skipper’s head before standing and walking over to you. “Nonsense,” he pecked a kiss to your lips. “I do love that sweet boy of yours,” he replied before turning his face to whisper in your ear. “But I'm absolutely enamored with you, Mamacita.” The hair on your neck stood as a chill rushed down your spine. You bit your lower lip, and he stared back into your eyes, leaning in for a passionate kiss. 

“You look beautiful,” he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“You look rather handsome, yourself,” you replied. His hair was brushed back and to the side, his curls neatly swept and threatening to break free around his face. You wondered whether he asked for help to make his hair look extra nice for your date or if he styled it himself.

Running your fingertips over his patched salt and pepper beard, your hands found the small heart shaped patches near his chin. You brushed your thumb over his jaw before leaning in to press a kiss on the bare skin, causing his eyes to close as he let out a sigh. The whiskers tickled your cheeks as you continued kissing up his jawline, back across his cheek, and on his nose before pulling away to look into his eyes.

He opted to not wear glasses today, allowing you a closer look into his deep brown eyes which were softening under your gaze. “You ready to go, baby?” He asked you, his hand on your hip as he rubbed circles with his thumb.

“Absolutely,” you smiled. He wore a pair of dark jeans, tennis shoes, and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his forearm. He looked absolutely… incredible.

While you were grabbing your bag, he grabbed Skipper's leash. “Is Skipper coming too?” You asked, confused.

Skipper was twirling now, impatient to go somewhere.

“Sure is! Couldn't leave him out. But don't worry, you and I will have the night to ourselves,” he winked.

You looked downward, feeling shy and flushed. “Okay,” you giggled, clipping Skip to his leash and heading for the door.

“Do you want to take my car? You'll get dog hair and slobber in yours,” you offer.

“I don't mind! I love dogs,” Pedro replied, opening the door for Skipper to climb in the back seat. After closing the door, he opened the passenger door for you. Such a gentleman, you thought with a sigh, getting in and thanking him. 

As the car sped along, you looked over at your boyfriend driving the car. Boyfriend! That'll never get old… you thought to yourself. The air conditioning blew the few loose strands of hair on the top of his head, and his left hand gripped the wheel, making the veins on his hand prominent. With his right hand, he reached over, holding your left in his, resting on top of your thigh. 

He really did look beautiful. You couldn't help but stare at him as he expertly drove the car, hand flexing as he turned the wheel. His mouth pursed and he licked his lips, his tongue slowly jutting out to wet them. 

Damn, I want those lips on mine. That tongue in my mouth, you thought, feeling rather warm, despite the air conditioning swirling around the car.

“So where are we spending the day?” You asked, trying to quiet the flames of attraction licking at your pulse.

“It's a surprise! But we're almost there,” he answered, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.

Pedro looked in the side mirror and laughed. “Babe, look at Skipper.”

You looked to see him with his head out the window, ears and lips blown back with the wind, his tongue lolled out to the side and blowing with the speed of the vehicle.

You both chuckled before you warned him, “your car is going to be covered in slobbers, Pedro!” He gave another quick look to Skipper before replying. “That's okay. It'll help me remember this day until I wash it again,” he looked over at you and smiled. It felt so natural. So… domestic, the two of you sitting in the car, going on a date, him holding your hand while driving, and the two of you laughing at your dog in the back seat. It was just perfect. Everything you dreamed.

He wasn't joking when he said you were almost there. It was only about five more minutes until the car pulled into the parking lot of the dog-friendly beach. 

Stepping out of the vehicle, you took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smell of salty sea air and hearing the chatter of gulls. The breeze blew your hair gently, but the day was relatively warm for November.

After the three of you exited the car, Pedro opened the trunk, pulling out a large picnic basket and tote bag. “You really came prepared, didn't you? Pedro, this is really special. Thank you.” Your eyes felt teary and the smile you held was genuine. Nobody has ever put this much effort into anything for you. Other than him.

“You don't need to thank me. I want you to be happy and I want the three of us to have a nice day,” he added, pecking your lips.

“Wait.. Pedro,” you frowned. “It looks kind of crowded. Should I be nervous about paparazzi or anything?” Your stomach bubbled with nervous energy.

“Don't worry, sweetheart. Celebs come here all the time. I've come here before. If they do, they might take pictures, but usually it's pretty low-key here. Try not to worry too much. I want you to have a nice time,” he squeezed your hand affectionately.

“Okay. I trust you,” you smiled at him as the three of you walked towards the sand, finding a nice place to picnic. Pedro unpacked, laying down a large blanket before setting up the spread of sandwiches, veggies, and fruit. He offered you a cold drink from the basket and the two of you sat, using a metal stake to secure Skipper’s leash near your blanket. He flopped onto his side, content to be sunbathing with some of his favorite people.

The lunch consisted of peaceful conversations and laughter, learning more about each other despite having talked for several months now. It seemed you could never run out of conversation topics. But even in the quiet moments, it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt relaxing. You were both content being able to sit together in silence and just enjoy each other's company.

After your meal, you packed up the basket and headed for the car again to put the things away, opting for a walk unburdened by carrying items across the sand. Neither of you brought a swimsuit today, but despite the California sun, it was still November, and the Pacific ocean was never really warm, even in the middle of summer. That didn't seem to bother Skipper very much though. As the two of you walked hand in hand near the water, barefoot in the wet sand, he ran laps around Pedro holding him on the leash, occasionally splashing through the shallow water before joining close by his family again.

He would definitely need a bath later, but you didn't mind. He was happy splashing around, having a great day. You were happy walking with the man of your dreams, fingers intertwined together. Everything felt right. You weren't even nervous, despite the way Pedro looked like the most handsome man you've ever seen, or the fact that he was famous, and that you occasionally received stares from other beach goers. Instead of the usual first-date nerves people get, you just felt love.

“So,” he started excitedly, “Obviously I have most of this date planned, but I also wanted to check in with you and see if you had anything particular in mind that you wanted to do together.”

You thought for a second, letting a memory burn into your thoughts. “Well,” you began, "I don't want to sound like a total creepy fan or anything...” you added, cautiously. You kinda were, with all the photos of him you had saved on your phone (prior to deleting them before your first meeting in person). But that's not important right now, and he probably doesn't need to know that. Maybe it can be a funny story later.

Pedro laughed, that cute little wheezy laugh he does with his giant smile that makes your stomach do somersaults. Those same somersaults you've been getting since you first saw that smile on the screen and knew you were absolutely screwed until you got over this crush. Or, unexpectedly, when you walked hand-in-hand with him, like you were now.

“But…?” he pondered, looking down at you sideways, with a playful smirk and those big brown eyes that could make you lose your mind. They absolutely glittered in the sunlight right now, reflecting all the joy and love he felt for you.

“Okay maybe I'm a little creepy…” you nudged him with your side, still gripping his hand in yours as the two of you walked peacefully. The beach was crowded, but you and him, and Skipper, were the only ones here as far as either of you were concerned. There could be a loud scream and it wouldn't compare to the squealing in your mind. A firework show would simply feel like a projection of your sparks. A tornado couldn't sweep you off your feet as well as he could. 

“Is this where you tell me you've been watching me sleep through my window for the past three years or something?” He raised an eyebrow, playful smile still on his face as he licked his lips.

“What?” You squeaked, laughing. “No. I mean… I did have some pictures saved of you, and have maybe read a fictional story or two about you and your characters…” or a few thousand, you thought.

You cringed. Why the fuck did I say that out loud?!

Your cheeks felt hot and you diverted your eyes away from the man beside you, a nervous grimace painted across your mouth. He barked out a laugh, pulling you into his side for a hug. “Baby, you're cute. I don't mind that you used to read those. I don't even mind if you still do. No different than a book, right? Maybe it'll give us some fun date ideas.” He rested his head on top of yours innocently.

Oh, if only he knew the things you read.

“Right. Fun date ideas,” you smirked to yourself. He pulled away to look at you, eyebrow raising playfully.

“Sweetheart,” he interrogated in the same tone you use when Skipper steals a sock from the laundry, “what kind of stories are you reading about me and my characters, huh?” He lifted your chin to meet his eyes. You'd feel nervous from his tone if he didn't flash a smug, knowing grin at you.

“Oh, you know…” you shrugged. “Just the typical romance stuff,” you turned, facing him and resting your hand on his chest, tracing a circle over his heart with your finger. You felt his pulse pick up under your touch, and saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“What kind of thoughts are going through that pretty head of yours?” He asked, raising his brow while you continued tracing little hearts into his shirt with your index finger.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” You winked before removing your hand from his chest. Starting to walk away, you continued your earlier statement. “Anyway, as I was saying-”

“Oh, no you don’t,” he interrupted, laughing. “Don't think you're getting out of this conversation that easy,” he gently pulled your forearm, stopping your movement and sending you twirling into his arms once again.

“Maybe someday I'll tell you,” you giggled, booping his nose. 

“Someday? Why not tell me now?” He ran his thumb over your lip, eyes drifting down quickly before returning to your eyes.

“I'll show you the fanfics I read about you when I know you're stuck with me and you aren't going to run for the hills,” you laughed nervously, only partially joking.

His playful demeanor vanished before your eyes, turning into a look of… concern? Oh no. This is it. Where he realizes what a mistake he made. Where he says he doesn't want to be together. Where he breaks my heart.

He gently held your arm, rubbing soft strokes. “Honey. What are you talking about?” His soft brown eyes searched your face. You gulped, not wanting to make eye contact, but he again pulled your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “I…” you floundered for the words. “I don't want to scare you away.”

“Why would I be scared away?” he asked in almost a whisper, concern and sadness lacing his features.

“Because I just had this huge, huge crush on you. So, I read fanfics and I saved all your photos and I watched all your movies. I spent more time on social media looking for updates on you. Just so I could see you, or imagine what being with you would feel like. Like a total crazy person. An absolute psycho creeper.”

“Baby…” he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “You aren't any of those things. I actually think that’s kind of sweet. Although, it makes me a little sad thinking about the pain you must have felt, having these strong feelings and not having found each other yet.” He brushed your hair out of your face, settling his other hand on your waist before continuing.

“Feelings make us feel a little crazy sometimes, and although I never read fanfiction about you, or had any pictures to save, I would be lying if I said I didn't take a screenshot of us that first night you showed me your face.” He rubbed his neck bashfully.

Fanfic about me? What? If that even exists, I gotta see what people are saying…

“You did?” His admission surprised you, to say the least. He sighed before answering. “Yes. I had - have,” he corrected himself, “a pretty big crush on you too, baby. But I felt like I was betraying you in a way, taking a picture of you during our video chat. I just wanted to remember your face if I never saw it again,” he sighed.

“I fell in love with you the first time I heard your song... I heard you sing about your feelings and daydreams. So… you admitting about fanfiction and pictures isn't all that surprising.” You lowered your eyes in embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me.” He stroked your cheek. You looked up and he continued. “I took that picture because I had already fallen so head-over-heels for you that the first time I saw your face, I stopped breathing. Although I knew I wouldn't be able to get the image of you out of my mind, I couldn't risk forgetting the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.”

You dropped your gaze again, cheeks feeling a permanent state of warmth and butterflies dancing from your stomach to your chest. “You don't honestly mean that, Pedro.” You sighed. “I appreciate it, but there's no way. I really don't know what you could ever see in someone like me,” you whispered, barely audible. If you weren't standing so close, he would've missed it.

Instead of responding, he dropped his arms from your body. At the loss of contact, your heart sank. But when you lifted your head to meet his eyes, he was fishing around his pocket for his phone. Calling an Uber to leave? Your self-doubt pestered.

A few taps to his screen later and he held up his phone. There you were, sitting at your table in your favorite dress, with your favorite food and flowers on the table. You had the biggest smile on your face and in the bottom corner, you could see Pedro looking handsome as always, and absolutely smitten with you, the largest grin painted across his features.

At the sight of the image, your heart warmed. “See what you mean to me?” He asked, putting his phone back into his pocket. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you,” you choked out, leaning forward to mold your lips to his. They fit together perfectly. Like they were made for each other. He pressed back before opening his mouth ever so slightly to lick at your lips. Matching his movements, your tongues met, dancing a waltz in exploration as he pulled you forward by your lower back, seeming as if trying to get as close as possible somehow.

As the two of you paused for air, he ran his hand further down your back, just barely grazing the dip of your spine where your torso meets your butt. He gave you a look, almost to determine your reaction, asking permission to let his hand continue. When you didn't back away, going as far as pulling him closer around his neck and leaning in for another kiss, he pressed his lips against yours in return and let his hands wander a little further down. When his hand wrapped around the cheek of your ass, you squeaked. This is new… and I like it, you thought. His whole hand fit across your cheek. His huge hands. You whimpered as he gave a squeeze, like he was claiming you as his own.

“I love you too.” He finally responded, pulling out of the kiss to search your eyes. “So tell me… what was this activity you wanted to add to our date? The one you fear makes you sound like a creepy fan?” He let out a small laugh, brushing your nose with his.

“This,” you replied, pressing another kiss.

“Kissing?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over your waist and resting his forehead to yours. “I think we've already been doing that, if I'm not mistaken.” He pecked your lips with his.

“Yes,” you kissed. “Well,” kiss. “Actually,” you pulled away enough to explain. “I read this interview you gave a few years ago about your ideal first date?”

“Yeah?”

“You said something about ‘a date that doesn't feel like a date. And

hopefully by the end, or throughout, very

good kissing.” You said, slightly cautious at your memorization, a bit nervous at the implication of what you're saying.

“Oh, is that what you want?” He flashed his eyes up to look at you, giving a devilish smirk. 

“Well, as someone who hadn't been kissed yet when I read it, I sorta lost my mind over it,” you laughed. “Obviously we've kissed before, but if it were up to me your lips would never leave mine,” you pressed your lips to his again.

“I think we should be able to make that happen,” he leaned in, brushing his nose against yours before pulling you in for another kiss. “Mmmm” you sighed, pulling away from his lips. “Never gets old.” You held his hand in yours, the two of you walking again down the beach.

“So I was thinking,” he began, “since you said you deleted all your photos, and I only have the one, maybe we could make some new photos… together,” the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked smile. You grinned and nodded excitedly. “Please!”

Pulling out his phone, the two of you took several photos together. Some just smiling, some with Skipper, and your personal favorites, the ones with him kissing you. This will make for a perfect lockscreen, you imagined.

As you approached the edge of a rocky cliffside at the end of the beach, a sea lion barked in the distance. Skipper perked up, tilting his head and letting his ears twitch before returning a “boof.” The two of you laughed, ushering your dog away from making any wild ocean friends, and headed towards the boardwalk.

After grabbing an ice cream at a candy shop, you were so deep in conversation and laughter that you didn't notice the girl off to the side looking nervous. Slowly she walked over. Skipper put up his guard, but as she approached, she gave a kind wave. “Hi… I'm sorry to bother you. I'm a big fan of you both.”

“Us… both?!” You responded, surprised. Pedro shook his head with a laugh before thanking the fan.

“Of course! Your music is amazing! I listen to it on my way home from work everyday. I relate to so many of your songs.”

“Wow, thank you so much. I never expected to be recognized. You're so kind,” you replied honestly.

She asked for a photo with you both, and after obliging, she mentioned before leaving, “by the way, I was following all the news that went down. I just want to say I think it's cute how you guys got together and you make a really cute couple. Okay bye! Thank you again!!” And with that, she scurried away, leaving you to look at Pedro in surprise. “Wow” you replied with a laugh. “I can't believe I'm getting recognized,” you spoke quietly.

“How do you feel about it?” Pedro asked cautiously.

“I feel… okay, so far. This was a nice interaction, and even though people keep looking at us… being able to be out in public with you, to show my face, kiss you, hug you, hold your hand,” you gave his hand a squeeze, “it makes it all worth it.”

“I couldn't agree more,” he looked into your eyes, giving a soft smile. You matched his expression before his face slowly faded into concern. “Do you think work will go okay for you? Now that it's out there?”

You took a deep breath, walking a few more steps with him down the boardwalk before replying. “I don't know. I guess so. Or… I hope so at least. I've had a few of my friends and coworkers message me kind words of encouragement. So at least I'll have some people on my side, even if anyone else has something to say. But really, they shouldn't. They already know me. They knew I liked you,” you leaned into him. “So they should be happy for me if anything. And if not, then… well, they didn't deserve to be my friend anyway,” you shrugged. “But I think I might take some time off to figure out everything, career wise,” you added. Still leaning into his side, Pedro unlatched his fingers from yours, opting to reach his arm around you, giving your shoulder a squeeze and rubbing soft circles into your upper arm.

“Baby,” Pedro began, his voice vibrating through your body as he leaned his head on yours, “I’m so proud of you. Have I told you how strong I think you are?” Your cheeks warmed and you grinned. “Thank you Pedro,” you wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him. “But I don't think I'm that strong. I struggle to open pickle jars just like the rest of us,” you joked.

Pedro gave a quiet snort. “You know what I mean, honey,” he laughed. “I don't mean physical strength. Though I'm sure you could hold your own in an arm wrestle, I mean your ability to handle all of this thrown at you so quickly. Your ability to adapt and stay cheerful about everything. You just keep continuing to amaze me,” he pulled his head away from yours to meet your gaze. He smiled softly and you thanked him.

“I don't feel very strong,” you mumbled, breaking away from his stare. “You are, though. You're strong, smart, beautiful. Talented. Passionate,” he kissed your lips.

“Pedro, I love you, but you always seem to use all these words I don't feel. You see me as someone completely different than the way I've always seen myself. I want to believe you, but-” you sighed. “No one else has ever shown any indication that those are true,” you pouted, trying not to tear up.

“Hey, hey, whoa. Stop,” he halted your movements, pulling your chin up to his face. “Maybe they didn't see you, but I do. I feel all those things about you, and I'll spend every single day trying to prove it. I told myself I wouldn't get involved in romance a long time ago. But you changed all that.”

His chocolate brown eyes felt like they looked directly into your soul as he attempted to unravel your self-doubt. With a deep breath, you calmed enough to reply. “I love you, and I feel all those things for you as well. I'm glad you opened yourself up to love again.” You pressed a kiss to his lips. “I'm glad I met you” you sucked his lip. “I'm glad you're mine.” You kissed him again, deepening it, letting your tongue press gently to his and tangling together in passion before pulling away. 

Skipper had completely rolled into his side in wait for you both, between the conversation and the kissing. When the two of you broke away with matching grins, you looked over to see the sun had sunk down to the border between sky and ocean. In its wake was a bright orange sky, with pink, purple, and yellow streaks mixed in, as if a painter had gotten a bit too carried away with the paints. It was blindingly beautiful. 

Drawn to it like moths, the three of you walked towards the shoreline once again. You started to sit, but Pedro pulled you into his chest and fished for his phone. 

You gave him a confused look before he kissed you deeply and held out his arm. Unlatching his lips from yours with a pop, he held up his phone to you with a smile. In front of the vibrant ocean sunset, the silhouette of a couple shared a loving kiss. For once, it was you in this couple photo. You and the man you love.

You walked a little farther down the sand before sitting down just above the line of wet sand to admire the sunset. Pedro sat behind you, his legs on either side of you while you lay back into his chest. As you leaned into him, he hugged around your body, molding himself to you and tracing light circles into the skin on your arms, making the hairs stand on end and a shiver to run down your spine. 

Skipper flopped down nearby, clearly sleepy after a long walk and plenty of new smells. You ran a gentle hand down his back until you heard soft snores, then let him sleep, leaning your head on Pedro’s arm around your shoulder. “This sunset is beautiful,” you sighed, watching as the sun descended further below the ocean. It looked as if it was sinking deep below the surface, offering its light to the deep sea anglerfish miles below.

“It is amazing,” Pedro agreed, staring at you. “But my view is even better,” he added, and you could feel his eyes on the side of your face as he kissed your shoulder. You looked over at him, meeting his eyes, now sparkling with the orange of the sky. “Mine too,” you whispered, tilting your head to press another kiss to his lips.

When the sun went down completely, you headed to the car and Pedro drove back to your place so you could get ready for dinner. 

Pedro sat on the couch patiently, stroking the fur on Skip’s back while he snoozed, his head in Pedro's lap. In your bedroom, you searched for the perfect outfit to wear, finally deciding on a nice dress and sweater.

Hopefully the restaurant isn't too cold, you thought.

Walking out of the bedroom, you joined your boys in the living room, only to be greeted by Pedro’s jaw hitting the floor. “Te ves tan hermosa mi amor,” he stuttered in Spanish, flipping languages so easily when he was overcome with emotion. (You look so gorgeous my love.)

He gently stood, sliding out from below your dog, before walking over to you. His eyes scanned your body from head to toe and back up again, making you feel nervous. “You… you look… wow.” He rubbed his hand over his chin, his thumb grazing his lip. His pupils grew, making his eyes ever-so-slightly darker. You shivered under his gaze.

At your shiver, his demeanor shifted. “Shit, are you cold? Baby, you look incredible, but if you're cold -” 

“I'm not cold, Pedro,” you interrupted.

“Are you sure? I saw you shiver.” He stepped towards you, touching your arm. A buzz crept under your skin like a live wire. “It wasn't from the cold…” you replied.

“It wasn't from-?” He paused, the realization hitting him as he understood your shiver wasn't from cold but frankly.. the opposite. “Oh,” he hummed, settling his hand on your hip and stepping closer.

Another chill.

“Feeling excited for our date, huh?” His voice caressed into your ear as he kissed his way down your neck, pausing to take gentle nibbles on the skin of your collarbone, neck, and chin, before pulling you in by your waist to press a deep kiss to your mouth, his tongue finding yours. 

This was starting to feel natural, kissing. And you two were getting good at it together. Knowing just the way his tongue moved, finding just the spot to make you whine. You even managed to find a spot of him that made a groan slip from his lips nearly every time. Kissing him was addicting, and you had no intention of kicking the habit.

He pulled away, pulling your lip with his teeth as you let out a slight hiss. “I'd love to do this all night, but I promised you dinner, my love,” he kissed your cheek, his beard scratching your face just right. You sighed, agreeing to dinner and taking a minute step back. It felt much warmer in the room than before, and you could tell he felt the same. As your eyes drifted across his body, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat. Slowly sweeping his eyes down his body, it was evident you both wanted something beyond dinner.

But the gentleman he is, Pedro stepped forward again, taking your hand and leading you toward the door. 

Pulling up to the curb, Pedro opened your door for you before handing his keys to the valet. Linking his arm with yours, the two of you walked into an elegant Italian restaurant. He gave the waitress his name, and she led you back to a secluded room where a single booth sat.

The room was dimly lit, illuminated by candles and twinkling fairy lights. They lined the ceiling, mimicking the starry sky, were it not for the smog of the city. You two walked toward the only booth, settled against the nook of a window, draped with a soft, thin white curtain covering the view from outside. Only the reflection of street lights peered through the thin drapery.

Sliding into the booth, Pedro sat next to you, close enough to touch, yet due to the curve of the corner booth, you were able to converse without craning your neck awkwardly. At the center of the table was a single red rose in a vase, sat next to the glow of a candle. The table itself was rounded and draped with an elegant dark red tablecloth.

Grabbing the triangular folded napkin off your plate, you folded it across your lap, Pedro doing the same. He reached over to you, taking your hand in his. He rolled his hand over the top of yours, linking his fingers between your own and giving a gentle squeeze while offering a soft smile. 

You looked into his eyes, searching for the words he might be thinking. In his eyes you only found love and appreciation, pure happiness oozing from his features. When the waitress came back, she set a basket of bread with butter on the table and took your orders. 

The night went smoothly, chatter filling the empty spaces while you enjoyed your meals. “Pedro, I know this is technically our first date, but I gotta say, I think I consider our video chat for my album as the first date. It was the first time I felt like I might actually have a shot with you. You put so much effort into that night and it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I didn't know I could fall for you any harder than I was, but you proved me wrong. And even though we didn't say it was a date, and I didn't have much experience before you, it felt more like a date than anything I had ever felt before. You're a real romantic, P.” 

He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “That felt like the first date to me too. I knew for sure that I loved you that night.” Your cheeks heated, and you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

It was only when the bill arrived that you broke apart. Though you offered to pay, at least for your meal, Pedro wouldn't stand for that. After all, he told you, this date was his idea. So instead, you thanked him and left the restaurant the same way you entered, arms linked.

As Pedro pulled up outside of your home, you let out a sigh. It was already after 9 PM. You had spent nearly eight hours together and yet you dreaded the moment you'd be saying goodbye. It was almost that time already, yet it felt like only five minutes had passed.

Though the walk from Pedro’s car to your front door was rather short, you both managed to prolong it, walking as slow as possible. Clearly he wasn't ready for it to end either. Two love sick fools, just wanting to spend every moment together.

Teetering on the edge of goodbyes, you awkwardly stood by your door. There were no nerves at a first kiss, fortunately. There had been plenty of kisses shared today, and yesterday, and the day prior. In fact, if it weren't for breathing, eating, and other bodily functions, you'd be fine having your lips glued to his indefinitely.

So with that in mind, and the burning desire to spend more time together, as he said goodbye, placing a kiss to your lips and beginning to walk away, you grabbed his arm. “Wait,” you plead.

Pedro turned, looking at you as if you had something to say, or you had forgotten a sweater in the car. But instead, with your heart pounding in your ears, you quietly asked, “would you like to come in? I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.”

The question could be taken with so many potential implications, or none at all. All you knew for sure was that you wanted to spend more time with him. What happened next could be decided in the moment.

His eyes flashed surprise for a moment. He looked at you, trying to read your face for any details in your question, then stared at your front door before turning back to you and finally answering.

“I would love to,” he smiled.

And so the two of you walked through the threshold of your front door, buzzing with new possibilities just inside. But no matter how the rest of the evening takes place, you were in love, and for once, you were loved back.

The end! Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the bonus tracks, and once again I'd love to hear what you think! Reblogs are appreciated as well :)

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for leaving my friend groups Discord server?

💐💐💐 So I can find this later. For context, I was in 2 servers that were friend groups, where my friends would all interact with each other, play & stream games, etc. However, recently we had a situation where someone, let's call her Sasha, would send many vent messages in the general channel, then delete said message before we could respond or even look at the messages, & get mad at us for not responding. She'd also complain about everything that happened in her life, school, in games, & she'd always repeat the same things, over & over again. In the end, we got tired of how she was forcing everyone to stop being as active in the server because of her behavior & actions, so we all made another server, without Sasha, so we could interact with peace without her interrupting conversations. This all happened 3-4 months ago. Then 3 of the people in our new server got a game on Roblox, Deepwoken. Another person, let's call him Kevin, already had the game for a while, so they all got the game & started playing all together. They were incredibly passionate about it, it would be the only thing talked about. One of them got me the currency to get Deepwoken, so I could play with them all. A while later, I got a hang of the game, then when I asked if any of them could play with me, one of them, let's call him Tim, would keep telling me that "Oh, you have to play the game alone to get the real experience, & to learn things better." every time I would ask. Sometimes, rarely, they'd answer some questions I had about the game that I didn't quite grasp yet, & a lot of the time i'd just, not receive any answer. After a while, I got tired of how they didn't respond to me at all, so I just stopped playing. Keep in mind, I don't have any other friends that have the game, so I didn't have anyone else to talk to about it. I love my friends but I felt ignored & was hurt, so I passed ownership to another friend of mine, & left. About a day after leaving, I ended up feeling extremely depressed & overwhelmed with schoolwork, eye appointments, a random limb & joint pain that I had no idea why I was having, & I accidentally unfriended Tim. With my being extremely overwhelmed, thinking it was a good idea at the time, I sent him a message saying "accidentally unfriended u mb. u could also not accep, that works too" Then another message after that one, "okay well um, im gonna assume that you arent going to accept it again so thank you for all youve done for me before you say that im making it sound like i gave up; i have given up i gave up a little while ago" After that, I got a message from him saying that I needed to calm down, that my friend request wasn't the most important thing in his mind right now, & that he's allowed to put it on hold for at least a day before I start telling him some "nvm shit". I sincerely apologized & told him that I needed to take a break, that I hope he's doing okay, & that I hope college goes well for him. I did indeed, take a break, for only 2 weeks because I felt extremely guilty, stupid & reckless. Those weeks felt like forever because that whole thing was on my mind 24/7. It was eating me alive. & No, I am not saying to gain pity. Just trying to explain what I felt. Tim answered, told me that I should grow & change as a person, & that he doesn't mean it in a condescending way, that the server was meant to be a safe space, that in order to make everyone comfortable, there's some things we need to just not say or some things we need to think about a lot before saying them. It's the reason Sasha got booted, & that we give as much as we get. I'm reading back on his messages, & I didn't say anything in the server to make everyone uncomfortable. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[harus-simp]

Wearing their clothes (hyung line)

Kim Jiwoong, Zhang Hao, Sung Hanbin, Seok Matthew and Kim Taerae

Genre: fluffy fluff

Warning: none

Word count: 1.5 aprox.

Author's note: starting to gain my writing rhythm back pookies so I figured out I'd do this cute idea hehe

Have a great day and enjoy <3

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How would your amazing boyfriend possibly react when he sees their partner wearing his clothes?

Jiwoong

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Jiwoong's schedule was too busy with his activities as an idol so you hadn't seen him in all week, and you didn't expect him to come today either.

The weather was rainy and stormy, so the possibilities of you staying inside and not doing anything were of a 100%

But you didn't dislike staying inside, in fact you were satisfied with your plans for that day as you could seat comfortably on your sofa and perhaps steal one of your boyfriend's hoodies to stay warm and not get cold.

Did jiwoong know you loved wearing his clothes? Absolutely not. You never wore them with him around as you felt too shy to do that and your relationship wasn't that old either.

You got up from your couch and grabbed your favourite hoodie of his, which casually was his as well. The smell of his cologne was still present filling your nostrils with a pleasant sensation, so you brought your arms up and pulled the fabric down your frame.

Little did you know that your boy was observing you from afar leaning on the doorframe. He had finished earlier that day and decided to spend the night with his beloved one.

The sight before him melted his heart in ways his head couldn't understand, but the need to just spend time with you made him forget about any coherent thought.

"So you like my hoodie huh?"

You turned at the door surprised and kinda flustered to see your boyfriend there.

"I thought you were all packed and busy!"

"Figured out you'd need some time with your boyfriend, and I was right"he said eyeing you up and down

"You are enjoying this too much"

"I don't know what you are talking about" he said nonchalantly, but the smile on his face didn't go unnoticed by you

Actually he was too affected by it, you made his head dizzy 😵‍💫

Zhanghao

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

You and Hao were going on a little date after he had received his first win with 'In Bloom' with ZB1, which brought lots of happiness to his heart. So it was time to celebrate it together after he had done the same with his group.

You couldn't believe how fast he was already succeeding on his career, but you were so proud of him to say the least.

However, the weather wasn't on your side. Just as you were going to leave the apartment you noticed how a strong wind was blowing outside, meaning that you'd need something more warm than the tank top you were wearing.

Without a second thought you opened your closet and grabbed the first sweater you found and left for your date(obviously paying attention to the colour for it to match your outfit).

When you got to your meeting point you saw him leaning on a tree staring at his phone, but he immediately noticed your presence and smiled at you.

"Hey hao!"

"Hey baby, is that my sweater?"he asked after giving you a little kiss on your forehead.

"Yes,it's really comfy"

"Damn your fashion sense is worse than taerae's"

"Heyyy"you said pouting

"Wear this instead,god"he said handing you another sweater

"You love me that much that you already brought one for me?" you said

"No, but I thought you were not going to bring something warmer"

"Alright you sassy queen, let's go on that date shall we?"

S.Hanbin

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

The day you had been anticipating for a while had finally came, you were going to have your first sleepover with your boyfriend hanbin.

Your relationship was still building up as you both decided to take things slowly, setting a comfortable rhythm and pace.

This day wasn't planned at all tho, this was an improv date as the storm outside didn't seem to be stopping any sooner. So hanbin suggested you stayed the night with him.

At first you complained because you didn't have any clothes you could wear as pjs but he shoved you into his closet and made you choose something of all his wardrobe.

You opted for a pair of shorts that were giant in comparison to yours and a hoodie that was at least 3 sizes bigger than you. But seeing you like that made hanbin's heart skip a beat, you looked all cute like that, like a tiny bear that needed to be hugged.

The smile that made its way to his face made your heart flutter and the way his arms wrapped instantly around you put you completely at ease at once.

"How do I look?"you said looking up at him

"Hmm, I don't know, I think it fits Hao better"he teased

You rolled your eyes at him.

"Then give it to him then"you answered back trying to get out of his grasp

"I'm joking darling, and for your information I'm not letting you go tonight at all"he said tightening his hold on you

You loved your boyfriend but sometimes he could be a little annoying.

Uff, you had a long night ahead.

Matthew

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

Working hard later pays off as you finally had a weekend for yourself after being too busy lately.

Matthew got so excited at this notice as he was finally able to have you all to himself and be with you for the rest of the weekend at least.

And even though you wanted to keep on sleeping with your partner by your side you knew you couldn't sleep all weekend (unless you are keita of course).

You both decided to go shopping to spoil yourselves and to have a good time with each other, you needed this little rest anyways, and what better way than go out with your lover

"Do you think this sweater suits me baby?"he asked you

"Yes, although i would rock it better"

He looked at you fondly and giggled at your sassy remark.

"Let's find it out later then"

And just as he said earlier once you got out of the shop he literally throwed at you his new purchase for you to try on.

"You were serious?"

"Of course, you can try it first so then when I put it it smells like you"he answered sweetly

You smiled at his antics and put it on feeling the soft material on your skin, it was such a cosy feeling that you could literally fall asleep right there.

"You are such a simp matt"

"No I'm not"

"Yeah your friends would disagree on that"

But could you really blame him? You were his angel after all.

Taerae

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Exhausted was the perfect word to describe your face and taerae's right now. You had been all day out as you had gone to eat to a restaurant and later gone to watch a movie together.

Don't get me wrong, you had a great time with your boyfriend, but by the time you got back from your long date it was dark outside. So the number of hours you had spend away from your apartment was huge.

As you stepped inside y'all got comfortable and ate dinner before preparing for prolonging your date even more with a movie night.

"Omg honey you are so cold, grab something to wear you are shivering"he said

And so you did. But what taerae wasn't expecting was to see you walking back to your couch with one of his hoodies.

He smiled brightly at the sight brought you to his embrace securing his arms around your waist.

"Didn't expect you to wear something mine"

"Neither did I, your fashion sense is terrible, but this was the best I could find"you said joking around teasing him.

His smile literally dropped.

"Was gonna cuddle you so bad but I guess you don't deserve it for being so mean"he bit back turning around from you

"But then I'll be cold without you baby, forgive me please"you said pouting to make him give in

"Hmm, I guess I could if you casually give me some kisses"

"Then prepare yourself to give me a public apology you loser"

And just like that your playfulness continued throughout the rest of the night <3

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Maknae line

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Taglist: @zumblrnet

[cassiefromhell]

Unexpected (pt. 5)

Part One Part Four Part Six

Fanbase: acotar

Eris x Reader x Azriel

Summary: You've healed nicely from your nasty encounter with your least favorite bitchy creature, but what now? You've missed your own mating ceremony... where do you go from here?

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: smut! fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (and mention of a lot of it!) dirty talk

A/N: Requests are OPEN! Check my pinned message for details on what I'll write <3. Thank you so, so much for the notes on this lil series! I read all comments and reblogs. The poll I had last week ended up juuuust barely going in favor of longer chapters on Unexpected, so that's what further updates will mainly be.

It only took three more days for me to gain the strength to go back to our room, and I took that opportunity immediately.

Azriel was in and out of the medical room, visiting as much as he could. 

I won’t lie and say it wasn’t awkward at times, when Eris was there. But Azriel was good at finding the fleeting moments when Eris was in a meeting, or (heaven forbid!) on a short trip to another court. My first mate was never gone for more than an hour or two, but Azriel seemed to slide in each moment that the High Lord was gone.

I liked having company. Eris focused more on making sure I was comfortable, having me walk around — with his arm for balance, of course — and keeping my pillows properly fluffed, blankets perfectly tucked. He brought me books and town newspapers, and told me jokes and funny things about his day.

Azriel was far more reserved, but still he came. He brought me more things than I could think possible in three short days. More books, which made me wonder if his shadows had seen Eris bring me those and he followed after (he also mentioned some odd thing about a house recommending books?) He brought me food, and asked what I liked, and then brought me croissants and macarons every day forward. He gifted me a few boxes of Night Court attire — flowing dresses and jumpsuits of deep violet and navy blue. 

But the thing I loved most?

He brought me a blueprint. Of a knife.

A blacksmith’s plan for a knife that Azriel had commissioned for me, the matching sister of Truth Teller.

I had nearly cried when I saw the beauty of just the sketch.

But now, I’m sitting in bed, curled up with a book. This is my second day back in the room, and I’ve finally convinced Eris to resume his normal daily schedule.

Which leaves me here alone. But I don’t particularly mind. I’m happy to have some time with just me and a romance novel. 

At least, alone for a few hours.

Because footsteps are coming down the hall, and with a glance at the clock, I discover that it’s Eris’s lunch hour.

Of course he’s coming to eat with me.

I grin, putting my book to the side. I adjust the pillows around me, making room for my mate. I do sometimes find myself missing him, his red hair and sarcasm and the little nicknames he has for me.

The door swings open by force of magic, and my lover is quickly in the doorway. I’m taken aback by what he has in his hands: a massive tray filled to the brim with food. Sandwiches, salads, pastries and soups and desserts.

I squeal, opening my arms for him. Eris places the tray on my lap and crawls into bed beside me, showering my neck and face with kisses.

“See? I knew you’d love this. The way to your heart is food.”

I laugh, catching his face in my hands and giving him a long kiss. “You know me better than anyone, High Lord.”

“Ohh, don’t go High Lord-ing me, missy,” he shoves a finger sandwich in my mouth. “You have me in the palm of your hand and you know it.”

Giggling, I chew and swallow my sandwich, leaning against him. He wraps an arm around me, half of the time feeding himself and the other hand feeding me with both food and kisses and little sweet whisperings against my ear.

And I’m happy here.

I eat my macaron — which, of course he brought me those — with a smile, until my eyes catch on a certain sandwich that I know is Eris’s favorite.

“What’s wrong?” he murmurs, eyes trained on my suddenly downcast expression.

“I’m thinking,” I whisper, taking that sandwich and holding it between my fingers. 

He tenses. “…Shit. You hate it. What did I do wrong? Here, let me—” he moves to take away the tray, but I stop him with a hand on his wrist. 

“Hold on. Let me consider.”

I stare at that little finger sandwich intently. It’s Eris’s very favorite, and I’m sitting next to this man who I love so much and who is my mate and I still have not officially accepted as such.

So I turn to face him, pulling my legs in and getting up on my knees. Once I do that, he’s at eye level, and I can really see the concern glimmering in his gaze.

I stroke his cheek, and then begin to murmur the Autumn Court vows. “Eris Vanserra, prince of fire and High Lord of the leaves…”

Eris’s eyes widen, and he looks down to the sandwich in my hands. His jaw falls, and his lips are parted, leaving him with an utterly flabbergasted expression. “But— but you wanted the whole—”

I cover his mouth gently. “Yes, I wanted the whole disgustingly lavish ceremony. But I think the gods have said that’s a bad idea. Now let me do the whole vows thing,” I command, and he nods eagerly. “Eris Vanserra, prince of fire and High Lord of the leaves, you have taken my heart in your grasp and I trust you with it. You are the other half of my soul, and I am prepared to give you all of mine. I accept you as my mate.”

I hold out the sandwich, lowering my hand from his mouth. Eris takes the food with a shaking hand. He chews his bottom lip, tilting his hair forward, and little strands of red hair fall across his forehead. 

“…Are you sure…?” he asks, his voice hardly a whisper. “I don’t… want you to regret this.”

I offer a soft smile, sinking back to sit on my heels. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

His eyes glisten, and he nods, flipping the sandwich in his fingers. “I don’t remember my part of the vows, as embarrassing as it is..”

Laughing, I nudge his hand. “That’s alright. The eating is the important part.”

He takes a bite, and then another, and then he’s scarfing it down.

“Slow down. You’ll choke.” 

“You can’t blame me for being speedy, I want to be choking on your cunt.”

I flush, but lean forward anyway, kissing his throat as he eats.

The bond begins to solidify, shifting from a fraying thread into a sturdy rope, golden and shimmering and lovely.

Eris finishes his sandwich, and with a snap of his fingers, the tray is teleported across the room. He sweeps me into his arms, laying me down onto the blankets and pillows.

“How are you feeling today, love?” he murmurs, pausing before doing anything serious.

“Oh, fuck me already, Eris.”

He just gives a low chuckle in response, kissing me. Our tongues and teeth clash, dancing around each other. His hands make quick work of my dress, sliding it up and off of me.

Okay, he’s a little needy.

“Aw, poor Eris had to go a week and a half without me?” I tease, reaching up to run my hands through his hair. 

He growls as a reply, mouth dipping down… and then down some more. He kisses down my throat, unclasping my bra with deft fingers and sliding it off. His tongue makes circles over my breasts, and then again, never quite hitting the nipple.

“Eris,” I whine, and that’s all it takes.

Eris kisses each of my nipples, gently biting the raised buds. My whimpers seem to egg him on, and he’s quickly sliding a hand down my body, pulling off my panties.

“Eri—”

His full name doesn’t even get the chance to escape my mouth, because it’s cut off by a long moan. His thumb has found my clit, and is gently, teasingly, circling it.

A moment later, and his head is down there too, his tongue licking a stripe along my folds.

I nearly cry.

Eris has never been one for long teasery — well, he tries, but he always gives in with a glance at my face. He’s certainly too eager for even trying to hold out on me now, having been abstinent for longer than either of our likings.

His tongue laps at me, hands pushing my knees apart. I throw the covers off of us so that I can see him, see his red hair tied back at the base of his neck, see his mouth feasting on me like a man starved, and— his eyes. He’s looking up at me, relentlessly, and he doesn’t break his gaze as a finger enters me.

I whimper softly at the sensation, my back arching up, off of the mattress. The waves of pleasure creeping up my spine are intense, amplified by the amount of time it’s been since I’ve climaxed, found that incredible cliff that I am now approaching.

“You’re sensitive today,” he murmurs, voice rumbling against me. “I can feel it.”

He adds a second finger, and I nearly come just from his soft growl.

But just as I find myself on the edge, whining and gripping his hair, biting the pillow, he completely stops, sliding up my body. 

“Shit,” I moan softly, having a terrible feeling that he’s going to edge me. For a long time.

But instead, he gives me a long kiss, letting me taste myself on his tongue. And in the middle of it all, his fingers start to move again, his thumb circling my clit once more. 

He pulls away, just enough to speak against my mouth. “Fuck, sweetheart. Look at how well you’re doing, all pent up like this.”

Then his thumb centers on my clit, rubbing it with soft strokes, and it sends me plummeting over the edge. Stars form behind my eyelids, unintelligible whimpers spilling from my lips, and Eris coaxes me through it all, stimulating my oversensitive nerves and giving me praise.

When I’m calmed from my high, gazing up at him with a lazy smile, I whisper. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

“And you are gorgeous. I could not ask the Mother for a better mate,” he purred, shifting to kiss me once more.

He presses his clothed hips to my bare ones, showing me exactly how much he wants me.

I laugh against his mouth, my hands trailing down. “Why is it,” I murmur into his lips, “that I’m naked and you’re still fully clothed.”

“It’s because you never undressed me.”

“Aye, don’t point fingers.”

We both laugh, and I have my hand on the first button of his shirt when a sharp, piercing tug comes on the mating bond.

I flinch. 

Eris frowns, tilting his head and brushing a kiss to my cheek. “What’s wrong?”

Sighing heavily, I zero in on the mating bond connecting me to Azriel. “Give me just a second. Shadow Boy is tugging.”

Are you alright? I ask the thread.

Physically, yes. Why wouldn’t I be. His response is flat, and is more of a statement where a question should be instead.

You tugged. Hard. It kind of hurt.

You know I can feel all of your emotions, right? You have no mental shields up.

Okay, so? But my response is a little distracted, because Eris has sat up, straddling my thighs. He unbuttons his shirt, slowly, teasingly.

My breath catches in my throat when he flexed his hips upward, showing off the bulge in his pants. I palm it gently as Azriel’s response comes.

I’d rather not know what you’re feeling.

It takes me a moment, and then I remember the arousal and pleasure that has been flooding my mind for the last few minutes, and it clicks.

I laugh, running a finger down the seam of Eris’s pants. “He can sense my emotions and feelings. He’s asking for me to stop subjecting him to my sex life.”

Jealous? I ask down the bond, grinning as Eris hurries his undressing. Unfortunately, he was in a council meeting earlier, so he’s sporting a uniform with a bajillion clasps and buttons and buckles.

No reply comes.

Are you a little, tiny bit envious of Eris right now? Because he gets to fuck the shit out of me.

And preparing to fuck the shit out of me he is, as Eris is hovering over me now, mostly undressed. He frees himself, pulling out his long, thick cock. I like the little curve it has, and I trace the vein on the underside with my index finger. 

Maybe you should stop teasing me, or I’ll show up and put your fun to an end.

Alright, alright. Shutting up. I’ll try to keep my emotions to myself.

The bond goes silent.

“He’s gone,” I whisper.

Immediately, Eris is positioning himself between my legs, capturing me in a kiss once more. His thumb grazes my clit, and I feel the telltale pressure against my entrance.

Instinctually, I spread my legs. I whimper as he pushes in, just slightly, stretching me wide. It hurts, just a bit — I thought I would be used to him by now, but I guess not after a week without this, without him.

“Fuck,” he whispers, trailing kisses down my neck. “You’re so fucking tight.”

He sinks in further, and I find my hands rooted in his hair, holding his head close. I leave breathy kisses against his ear and throat, murmuring strings of praises. “Gods, you feel good… mother save me… start moving, I need you.”

He pulls his hips back slowly, hissing as my body grips him. Then, he snaps back in, just barely managing to brush that one spot deep in me.

My back arcs, and a whimper escapes me as his free hand grabs both of mine, pinning them above my head — his other still teasing my clit.

He begins a steady pace, until the lingering pain at my core subsides, and is replaced with more slick, and need, and burning pleasure.

“Fuck,” I whisper, lifting my hips to add to the friction. “Harder— harder, please…”

A grin spreads across my High Lord’s face, and he kisses my shoulder, picking up into a brutal pace, the sounds of skin on skin filling the room.

The pleasure is immense. Each time his thumb brushes my clit, or his cock hits that one spot, I see stars. My abdomen begins to tense, and my noises become more frequent.

Eris shifts to have his head directly above me, watching my expression closely. The eye contact alone pushes me that much closer to the edge, and fast.

“Coming already?” He croons, putting our foreheads together. “Needy, needy little creature, aren’t you?”

I nod against him, our noses brushing. “Please.”

And he silently obliges me (as silent as he gets during sex, still panting and making little pleased noises) by pressing the heel of his hand against my clit.

The result is instant. Stars bloom and explode behind my eyelids, and I chant his name like a prayer, whimpering and moaning and whining as his pace stays relentless, coaxing me through my crashing orgasm.

His pace does not grow sloppier; he’s never gotten sloppy before he cums, if anything he just gets more rigid, pace growing faster and harder but never sloppy. He tilts his head down to rest on my shoulder, groaning as his cock twitches inside me. “Such a good girl for me, hmm?”

I squeeze his hand with one of mine, grinning when his words come out breathless. “Give it to me. Fill me.”

And he does, nearly immediately. He gives one last snapping thrust into me, burying himself deep inside. I can tell he’s cumming by the moans and unintelligible mumbles leaking from his throat, combined with the slight increase in warmth at my pelvis.

“What a good mate you are,” I purr, working one hand out of his grip to stroke his hair. “Filling me up with your seed. Such a good boy—”

Eris shuts me up with a long kiss, and he remains buried in me, carefully pulling me onto his lap as he sits up.

Pulling away slowly, he speaks softly. “I need to cancel my meetings for the next few days — at least. You know what they say about the whole newly-mated male thing, so the council hopefully won’t fight too much. I’m sure they’d rather have my absence than a volatile male.”

“Youuu can do that later,” I grumble, catching his bottom lip between my teeth. That fiery need is building between my legs once more, creeping up my spine and peaking my nipples. “Fuck now. Lord business later.”

He has no qualms — at least, he speaks none — about my decision, and he captures my mouth in his. His hands slide up, one to my jaw, the other to my hair, locking me into the kiss. As he does, I catch the slight scent of magic in my nose, and I crack an eye open to see a letter writing itself on the desk. I can’t read it from here, but it’s short, and slid under the door in a blur.

He pulls back, smirking as he takes me in. “I’ve hardly touched you and you’re all flushed and messy.”

“Hardly— hardly touched?” I ask, incredulous. “You’re buried in me, to the hilt.”

His smirk breaks into a toothy grin, flashing me his canines. “Yes, and I’ve done much worse. Now, tell me, where would you next like to be made a mess?”

I’ve decided to both thank and curse the mother for the mating frenzy.

For the last three days, Eris and I have been relentless. It’s pathetic, really, the way we can’t even manage a good night’s sleep. By the time we’re able to fuck eachother senseless enough to slip into sleep, one of us wakes up with that fiery need again after no more than an hour.

Mercifully, the staff in the palace understands. They bring us food and leave it outside the door, and other than that they leave us alone.

Even now, as I sit in the bath with Eris, the soreness in all of my limbs lingers. I sigh softly, nestling myself safely in Eris’s arms as the warm water seeps into my tired bones.

“We should probably get some actual cleaning done, before it comes back,” he murmurs, running his fingers through my damp hair. “We made a deal to get in the bath and cleanse ourselves, and instead we’ve just fucked. Twice.”

I giggle, pressing my face to the center of his chest. “Yeah, well… it was fun.”

“That it was,” he hums, removing one arm from me. He starts to run soap over my body, and I’m content to let him do that while I lay here limp. “You’re so beautiful, love.”

I bite his shoulder gently, to which he replies with a smack to my ass under the water. Laughing, I pull his face down, peppering it with kisses.

“You are not helpful,” he growls, taking my shoulders and turning me around. “Hold still and let me do your hair.”

I shift myself to turn and face him once more, but go still when his fingers start working shampoo into my hair. I practically purr at the massage, melting into his touch.

This, 

This is bliss.

It takes two more days for the frenzy to slow, and Eris and I come to the decision that we can go without each other for a few hours.

So, I sit in the center of the music hall, which is completely empty each day until two, when the musicians come to practice. It’s nearly noon now, and I’m just out of the room to get away from the overwhelming scent of sex, and to get a little practice in. 

The harp that leans on my shoulder is playing a song that I wrote on my own. I hum along with it as my fingers pluck the long strings, leaning into the deep vibrations.

I’ve played the harp since I was young. I was allowed to learn one instrument as a child, and little, tiny, adolescent me chose the harp. Looking back on it, perhaps a piano or guitar would have been more practical, but the time for choosing an instrument to learn has long since passed.

The music glides from my hands like an ice skater on a frozen lake, making graceful circles and figure eights, going fast and then so, so very slow.

My alone time is broken around an hour into my practice. The shadows contort in the room, and then there’s an undeniable presence behind me. I don’t even need to look to know who he is. 

“Congratulations,” Azriel says, followed by the soft shuffle of wings being adjusted. “On your mating.”

“Thank you,” I reply, finally halting my music to glance over at him. “I hope you aren’t too bothered by it.”

He gives a noncommittal shrug, walking over and standing beside me. His arms cross over his chest as he speaks, “It was expected. You’ve known Eris for far longer than me. I didn’t know you played the harp.”

Smooth topic change.

“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t.”

“You would love the musician’s quarter, in Velaris. It’s always filled with the most magnificent sound. I could show you, if you come to visit.”

I turn back to the strings in front of me, running my thumb along the golden shoulder of the instrument. “I’ve already told you that I would visit at some point. Have you come here to remind me?”

Azriel shifts on his feet slightly — and something tells me that he isn’t typically one for nervous habits, so maybe I make him exceptionally anxious. “Not really.”

“Then why, exactly, are you here?”

“Do I need a reason?”

I raise a brow, plucking a few strings absentmindedly. “When Eris is in full mated-male protective mode?” Azriel tenses. “Perhaps you should have an excuse for being in his palace.”

“Then I’m here because I was bringing you this,” he replies, holding out a velvet box.

Turning to face him, I take the box gingerly. Pulling the cover up reveals something exquisite, and I snap it shut. 

“I… I cannot accept this,” I stumble over my words, blinking as he opens the box again. “It’s too— holy mother.”

He chuckles, shaking his head and carefully picking up the necklace. It’s a double layered chain; the shorter, closer to my neck layer is thin and a shimmering silver unlike anything I’ve laid eyes on before, and topped off with a delicate dagger pendant, encrusted in a blue stone like his siphons; the longer layer is a sharp gold, glittering in the sunlight and almost giving the appearance of being on fire, and hanging from it is a leaf with — well, I don’t know if my eyes are playing tricks on me, but it seems to have a little orb inside holding actual fire.

“I’ve had it custom made for you. It would be horrible manners to not accept it.”

I feel blood brush the skin on the back of my neck, and then dance across my ears. “Then, uhm, I suppose I’ll have to take it, hm?” I take it from his grasp, holding it to my neck. “Help me clasp it, since you’re intent on me having it.”

Azriel steps behind me, his calloused fingers brushing my nape as he clips the chains together. His hand linger possibly a little longer than is necessary, but I didn’t complain.

To think of it, I’ve never actually gotten a particularly good view of his hands. They were often hidden in the fabric of his clothing, or gloved, or moving too fast to be seen. I’ve always liked hands — are they scarred, or smooth? Long or short nails? Wrinkled, or baby-skinned? 

But as I reach for his hands to bring them forward, they suddenly retract. In fact, turning around reveals that Azriel has taken three steps back. 

“What’s wrong?” I frown, eyes flicking to his arms, which have expertly, subtly, hidden his wrists behind his back.

“Nothing,” he replies in a smooth, reassuring tone, “you look stunning. I had a feeling that the necklace would glow on you.”

“It disappoints me that you think you can evade my questioning. I’m your mate, you don’t need to hide anything from me.”

A ghost of a smile crosses his lips.

“What?” I scowl, standing and striding over to him. 

He continues to retreat backwards, until I know for certain that this has somehow become some sort of a game for him by the growing amusement on his features.

And I have the feeling that he’s competitive.

I feign a stop, and then lunge at him, angling myself to send him sprawling to the ground. I’ve slipped into my assassin skill set.

But Azriel has tricks up his own sleeve, because the sidesteps and twists his leg, aiming to knock me over. His maneuver fails, and before I know it, we’ve essentially engaged in combat.

Except he refuses to use his hands. 

We twist and spin, dancing across the music hall. None of my attempts to grab him work, but he’s also unsuccessful in taking me down without his hands. I’m sure his shadows could help, but he’s not using them — and I have the feeling that he’s trying to be gentle with me.

“Are you going easy on me?” I accuse, my hand snapping out and finally making contact, managing to grab his bicep… but his hand stays firmly behind his back.

“Perhaps. But I have a distinct advantage — height, wings, and shadows.”

“Yeah, well, I have fire and I’d just rather not burn you.”

And there it is — he flinches.

But he recovers quickly, and I’m too busy processing his flinch to dodge when his wing comes at me. The muscle under its velvet skin swivels me around with ease, and suddenly my hands are pinned behind my shoulder blades, by Azriel’s own hand.

I find myself unable to turn around. Why? Because my back is pressed completely up against Azriel’s chest, his head dipped down to be on the same level as my own. My hands and his are trapped between us, guaranteeing that I won’t be able to catch a glimpse.

“I win,” he murmurs, his lips against my ear.

“That you did. But you flinched,” I murmur back, turning my head just enough to be able to see his face. It’s completely neutral again, if not a little amused. No hint of the flinching boy that had flashed in front of me.

“You mentioned having fire, and I realized that if I let our little match go on for much longer, you might get a little too hot for comfort,” he replies, maybe too slowly. 

His tone is so believable that I nearly let it go. But as he speaks, the darkness pooled at our feet recoils from him, tendrils of it wrapping up my ankles and stroking my skin.

“Your shadows don’t like it when you lie to me,” I tilt my head to the void building on my legs.

Azriel narrows his eyes but says nothing; the shadows scatter.

Softening my tone, I tilt my head back against his shoulder and try again. “Why can’t I see your hands, Azriel?”

He sighs the heaviest sigh imaginable, nearly breaking my heart in the process. But he releases my hands, and waits.

I don’t step away, gazing up at him expectantly.

We end up just staring at each other for a few moments. His eyes tell a story that I know will hurt to hear when it is vocalized. But I want to know his tales. I find myself a bit infatuated with this other mate — who is Azriel Shadowsinger?

But nevertheless, there’s a shifting behind me as his hands move, and he brings them to be in front of me.

I have to stifle a gasp at the sight.

Azriel’s hands are covered in burn scars. Not an inch of the skin spanning his fingertips to his forearm is untouched. The skin is raised and rigid, and parts of it are a darkened brown or red.

Biting my lip, I carefully run a fingertip over one of the ridges. The skin is surprisingly smooth itself, just with raised bumps and dips along the surface. His abdomen tenses against my lower back as I touch his hand, but he doesn’t object.

“I don’t think they’re ugly, if that’s what you were afraid of,” I murmur, taking one of his hands in mine and continuing to trace along the other. “I’ve always liked hands. They’re the most useful parts of the body, for the most part — capable of so many things. And the marks just tell stories.” I flip my own hand over, showing the scars littering my palms. “My hands weave the tale of an assassin, an expert at her craft. Yours tell the story of a warrior with a backstory worth sharing to loved ones. And that history needn’t be retold today.”

Then, completely unexpectedly, he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of my neck.

“Thank you,” he whispered with lips brushing my skin. 

We stand there for a few seconds or moments or minutes, I cannot tell. But I’ve grown to like the feeling of his mouth on my neck, his hands almost feeling familiar under my touch.

“While we’re asking questions,” I start, shifting myself forward slightly. “You smiled earlier, just before this whole spontaneous sparring spree began. Why?”

Suddenly, he grips both of my wrists, pinning them between us like he had before. He grins, picking up that competitive gleam in his gaze once more. “Just because.”

“Because why,” I scowl, now trying to shimmy out of his grip.

“You’re a moody one, you know.”

“Me, moody? You look like you’ve just stepped out of a portal to a gothic land of spiders and shadows — Cauldron, you have shadows that follow you,” I feign outrage, which makes him chuckle darkly.

“I smiled because you called me your mate. Out loud and to my face.”

I pause, and then try to whirl, grinning now. “Let me go, and maybe I’ll do it again.”

“You’ll have to win your way out of my grasp. And may I mention, you pack some solid muscle for how small you are—“

“Small?” I shout, trying to elbow him — but he keeps his hold on me. I struggle, while he laughs, and I find a part of myself quite amused as well — and the other part of me, well, I too am competitive.

There’s a creak from the other side of the room that I barely register, but Azriel’s shadows spin like crazy, swirling at our feet like a warning bell.

But Azriel just holds me tighter, ignoring the shadows. I land a kick to his shin that makes him lose his balance — but he drags me when we stumble, growling as I try to break free, and—

And, of course, that is when the door swings open—

Eris Vanserra stares at us, with eyes that start with shock.

And then shift to indescribable rage.

Part Six

Tags: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @5moremin @azriels-mate123 @a-frog-with-a-laptop @nightless @the-sweet-psycho @mali22 @bubybubsters @hannzoaks @menagerofmischief

To be added to the tag list, comment and ask! And if you saw this without the tag list before I took it down and reposted after a good panic of realizing I didn't do tags, then no, you didn't see anything... *distant sobbing*

[a-killer-obsession]

Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 19 - Lost and Found

Everything really goes to shit. Please heed the A03 tag warnings, this one is going to be dark.

WC: ~4k

Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055

It was hard to even remember that you'd ever had a life outside of a cell by the time you woke up on what must have been at least day ten of your new imprisonment. The seastone cuffs were forming new rings of red on your wrists and the bullet burned like a wild fire inside you. Breathing was difficult, on one part because of the broken rib, on the other from the daily beatings you'd received as the marines tried to put you back in your place and gain information on the Kid Pirates. You'd never talk, of course. They were the only friends you had, even if you felt in your heart that they'd abandoned you. It was fitting, really. You'd told Killer to run, you'd said your goodbyes, but secretly you'd hoped that maybe he did love you enough to come back. After ten days of rotting and starving in a cold cell, your hope had faded. They weren't coming back, and you were alone again.

It was a small miracle that you'd been given antibiotics for your wounds, but you knew it was only to keep you alive. If you died of infection they'd actually have to put in effort to finding your fruit before an enemy could eat it. It was easier this way, and they were well practiced with keeping their torture victims alive. You hadn't been able to sleep on your back for several days now, the result of the weeping wounds that covered your already scarred skin, the lashings dished out as a punishment for ‘going AWOL’, like you hadn't been thrown away by the marines years ago when you'd proven yourself to be untameable. Maybe Kid had come to the same conclusion, maybe you'd talked back one too many times to be worth the effort it would take to rescue you. Maybe if you'd spread your legs for him you would have at least had some use that was worth rescuing. But as always, nobody wanted you. Your father had the right idea, leaving before you were even born. He must have known all along how worthless you would come to be.

You felt yourself giving up. Nobody was coming for you, and your body ached and stung from the cuts and bruises that covered it. If you just gave in, stopped eating what little they offered you, let yourself succumb to your injuries, it would all be over. Nobody could hurt you anymore if you were dead. The feeling gave you a little hope, this would be over soon. Your body would stop hurting, your heart would stop hurting, and you would no longer be a burden on every person you met. You only had yourself in this world, but even you didn't want you.

Today was going no different than it had every day since your capture. The only small comfort you had was Killer's sash, now wrapped around your own waist. It was covered in your blood, but it was all you had, so at night you held it close to your heart, mourning what could have been if you'd made it back to the ship. You hoped above all else that he still wanted you, that the love you'd felt through the kiss still held true, even if he hadn't come for you yet. Maybe he wanted to, maybe he was just following an order from Kid to forget you. You played with a loose end as you laid on your side, the door to the cell opening as it had every morning so you could be dragged upright your daily torture session. You let yourself dissociate as you were pulled up by your hair, your cuffs attached above your head to a chain that hung from the ceiling. Your cuffs rubbed raw against your wrists as your weak legs struggled to keep you on your feet, but you dare not cry out in pain. Years of abuse had conditioned you to keep quiet.

The mindless goons who had strung you up remained on guard as their commodore entered the room, a disgustingly smug look on his face. You did your best to stare right through him, but couldn't deny that his expression made you ill. There was something different about it today, something darker and more knowing. It made you feel exposed and anxious as he stomped towards you in heavy boots. He was a larger man, someone who looked like they'd gotten where they were in life through intimidating those smaller than him. He smelt of cigars and cheap cologne that made your nose burn.

“How are we feeling today, little mouse?” He purred, forcing your chin up with a hard grasp to look at him. You spat in his face against your better judgement and he quickly retaliated with a hard backhand across your cheek. He wiped the spit from his face before continuing, “You'll never guess who I've just been speaking to on the den-den,” he gave you a cold smile that made you want to gag, “none other than your old pal Vice-Admiral Thompson”

A shiver ran through you and your eyes widened in fear as memories best kept forgotten began to bubble to the surface. Thompson had been the first to take charge of you after being discarded, back when he was still a commodore, and he had raped you mercilessly on a almost daily basis. The man had a pension for blood, and enjoyed cutting you as he fucked you. Your torture had only come to an end when he was given a promotion, and you were passed along to the next enthusiastic rapist, the one you had killed when Kid had found you. Your back featured many scars from his blade, since taking you from behind had been his preference. He didn't like to see your face, he preferred to just concentrate on the sound of your screams to get off. He'd grown bored when you stopped screaming for him, probably why he chose to pawn you off to someone else when he got his big promotion. It had been a blessing in disguise, and had taught you a valuable lesson about staying quiet. The new commodore had still raped you every chance he got, and taunted you daily, but at least he was a small-dicked three pump chump.

“He gave me some very valuable tips on how to tame you, little mouse,” he circled your body, and you winced as his calloused hand ran over the fresh cuts on your back from yesterday's whipping. “He had some very interesting techniques to share that I am quite interested in testing out for myself”

He nodded to the other men in the room, and they grabbed you from either side, making sure you couldn't do anything to kick or fight back, not that you had the energy. They pulled your skirt up and your panties down roughly, and the commodore kicked your legs further apart to make room for himself. It put more pressure on your painful wrists, and tears pricked at your eyes. You heard the distinct sound of his pants unzipping and he began to palm himself behind you.

“Are you going to talk mouse, or am I going to have to fuck it out of you?” He growled.

Tears began to fall against your will as you prepared yourself for the inevitable. You blanked everything out, swallowing your mind till it sat deep inside yourself, your eyes blank as the tears flowed freely from them, your body lose as you gave over any control to your hindbrain, which focused only on breathing and keeping your heart beating. Nothing else was necessary, and for a sweet moment you felt no pain as you dissociated. The world went white and silent, you had given up.

The last ten days had been torture for Killer, pacing back and forth in the navigation room while Kid pinched the bridge of his nose. They'd wanted to go after you, all the commanders had, but they'd lost the element of surprise. Kid had been ready to turn the ship around and wage war, but at Wire's sage advice he had held back. Killer hated that Wire was right. They needed to wait, they needed the base to think they had abandoned you, because without the element of surprise they might not make it to you without heavy losses on their side.

“Kid, you promised,” Killer growled, “why are we still waiting? Has it not been long enough?”

Wire sighed from his seat, Heat next to him in the same unwavering haze of sadness he'd been in since Killer had gotten back. It was the island all over again. “We agreed two weeks, Killer, that was the decision. It's only four more days. She's strong, she'll make it”

“But what if she doesn't?” Killer yelled back. His mask had been abandoned on the table hours ago, he felt like he was suffocating in it under the stress of the situation. Kid's chest hurt watching the way Killer's face morphed with pain whenever he spoke of you. “Her vivre has been burning for days now, she's dying!”

The last ten days had been hell for everyone on board, and Killer's body was wrecked with self-inflicted cuts under his clothing from multiple manic episodes. Kid didn't know what to do anymore, he feared his friend would lose his mind all together if they didn't get you back. The only reason his room was inhabitable at all was because they'd spent the last six days docked at a nearby island; his furniture had been replaced multiple times at this point.

“Wire, a few days less won't kill the plan,” he finally surrendered, “if we set sail today, we'll be there in two days from now. I agree with Killer, two weeks was a good plan to begin with, but I don't like the way her vivre is looking. We may be too late if we don't act soon”

Wire sighed in defeat, but was relieved to not be the one to give in. He may not be as close to you as the others, but Heat was his best friend, and the man hadn't been the same since they lost you. Everyone needed you home, it wasn't the same on the ship without you. “I'll give the orders,” he declared, taking his leave to head to the deck, followed by a sulking Heat.

“We're gonna get her back Kil,” Kid assured, “When have I ever broken a promise to you?”

“You haven't,” Killer mumbled, replacing his mask to head out.

“Exactly, so just rest your fears with me, I'll get her back, whatever it takes,” he pressed his flesh hand to Killer's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “Well make plans tomorrow, for now just stay strong. We'll bring her home Kil”

As expected, the commodore had been less than gentle with you, and after he was done pumping you with his thick load, he'd let the other two men have their turn as well. You were naked by the time they left you, and you laid on the floor crying and holding Killer's sash to your face, your pussy aching and torn from their abuse. The next day, when you still hadn't talked, he repeated the process. This time he brought a blade with him, cutting into the small of your back. The blood had at least acted as a lubricant as he fucked you mercilessly, but you still ached from the previous day's abuse. He'd brought more men with him this time as well, the collective cum of five men slipping out of your abused hole as you lay on the floor. You didn't cry today, there was nothing left in you. You were entirely devoid of any emotion, resigned to letting yourself starve until it was over. The lashing wounds from several days ago were growing infected from the commodore playing with them, he'd purposefully reopened your wounds as he raped you to add to your misery. You still hadn't talked, at this point you weren't sure if you were capable of speaking.

By the twelfth day you were just a shell. A ragdoll of a body, burning with fever and devoid of any feeling or thoughts. You hadn't slept, just stared blankly at the wall, unmoving from where they had dumped you on the floor after using you. You laid in your own blood, the wounds they had left still trickling for many hours after they had finished with you till they finally clotted to stop the bleeding. Your clothes had been taken from you, except for the sash. You considered hanging yourself with it, but you weren't sure it would even work. You had nothing to allow for a short jump to snap your neck, you would have to rely on strangulation, but that would mean the already heavily damaged sash would have to endure your weight for long enough to kill you. You didn't have the energy to do it right now anyway, it would require standing and your legs were far too weak for that. You'd pissed yourself at some point, unable to find the will to get up even to squat over the bucket in the corner.

There was thick silence around you, as there had been every day since your capture. The walls of the cell were particularly thick, blocking out any sound from outside, blank and dirty and grey, the only light being a single flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling that was never switched off. It was all carefully crafted to break you, to drive you insane till you gave up your secrets and spilled everything you knew about the Kid Pirates. The joke was on them, this wasn't your first experience with a cell like this, you learned last time how to sink inside yourself to hide from it all.

The door opened as it had every morning, and like every other morning your body was manipulated to wherever they wanted it to be. You didn't register how or where they moved you, your eyes continued to stare blankly ahead. You didn't register the cuffs being removed, the scarred arm or striped mask, the change of scenery as you were carried away. Daylight hit you, burning your eyes, so you closed them, your last connection to the outside world severed as your protective shell finished building up around you, fully encompassing you as you fell to a deep, exhausted sleep.

The Kid Pirates had started their wanton destruction the second they made landfall. The base had in fact been caught off guard, wrongly assuming that after twelve days of not making any attempt to rescue you, that you had been written off as not worth the effort. It couldn't be further from the truth as they slashed and burned and smashed their way through the base, killing every man and woman they encountered. Every building was checked, and if you weren't inside, immediately destroyed. Kid welded his gigantic metal arm, sweeping through the marines and sending decimating blows through every building, followed by Heat who set fire to any remains and any marine who got close enough. Wire was running ahead with Killer, the two of them being the fastest on the crew as they scouted every building for you, following your vivre on a warpath.

Double hadn't been able to locate the cells on the map, and suspected they were underground somewhere. His suspicion proved to be correct when they found a set of stairs hidden in the back of a small building, leaning to a short hall of dire looking cells. Killer's haki told him someone was alive down here, and the burning sliver that remained of your burning vivre card agreed. Killer sliced the lock off the door on the only occupied room, opening it with his heart in his throat as he dreaded what he would find inside.

He and Wire stood in shocked silence as the door swung open. You were there, naked on the floor, laying in a pool of blood and piss and clutching something close to your face like it was a lifeline. It took him a moment to register that it was his sash, it was so soaked with dark, dried blood that there was barely any blue left. Your eyes were open, but you didn't see them, not even when he waved a hand in front of your face. He touched your shoulder gingerly, and you didn't react at all, not even a shiver or painful wince. There was just nothing, you were just a shell, and he felt like they'd come too late. You were alive, but you were no longer living.

Wire took off his long hooded coat and handed it to Killer, who swaddled you in it before lifting you carefully into a bridal hold. Your body was littered with bruises and wounds, several of which were weeping pus. You were hot to the touch, near scalding, and your skin was clammy, damp with sweat from your fever. The two men said nothing to each other, there was nothing to be said that wasn't already painfully obvious to both of them. The second he had you in his arms, he was running.

He ran as fast as his legs would take him, his solitary mission to get you to Mohawk as quickly as possible while Wire covered his back from enemies. Kid opened his mouth to speak as they passed, but Wire just shook his head at him as he ran behind Killer. Kid roared in anger and lifted every piece of metal he could get into the air, forming a giant hammer and crushing everything in sight. The rest of the crew retreated, they knew better than to get in the way of Kid's fury.

As soon as Kid was satisfied that the base was sufficiently destroyed, any remains set alight by Heat, the Victoria Punk had set sail, with the intention of getting as far away from this awful place as possible. Mohawk had spent the last several hours working diligently on your wounds. Only Wire had been allowed access to the infirmary, being that he was the least emotional right now, and Mohawk needed unaffected assistance to help considering your state, which teetered dangerously at the edge of life and death. With some struggle he'd managed to surgically reopen the wounds that had begun closing, including the gunshot, so he could remove the bullet and any contaminants, and disinfect them all properly before stitching them closed. There wasn't much he could do for your broken rib other than make sure there were no shards of bone threatening to pierce your lung, and pump you with sufficient pain medication. You would likely be asleep for several more days given the extremely high dose he had you on, but that was for the best.

The worst of it had come though as he and Wire carefully cleaned your body, and Wire had discovered the blood between your legs. They felt awful about having to spread you open, but Mohawk was a doctor, and he was concerned about the damage that had been done to you. He cursed himself for never having bought a speculum now that there was a woman on the ship, he could only do so much to check your internal wounds without feeling like he was violating you. He did what he could for the outside though, stitching you delicately with dissolvable thread so you wouldn't have to go through the trauma of having him remove them, and making sure to add every anti-STI medication he had on hand to the cocktail of drugs he already had you on.

With Wire's help, they had cleaned and closed and dressed every wound on your body, and they carefully slipped a set of comfortable underwear and shorts on to you, along with a medical gown so Mohawk could still easily access the worst of the wounds on your torso until you woke up. It had taken over five hours to attend to you, all the while Killer had been pacing nervously outside the door, his sash balled up in his hand. He'd rushed to your side the second Wire opened the door, taking your hand gingerly and holding it firmly between both of his as he sat in a chair Mohawk had pulled over for him.

“She's going to be asleep for a few days at least,” Mohawk reported, standing on the other side of the cot as he pulled a blanket over you to finish up his work. “She still had the bullet inside her, so I suggest getting her bracelet back on soon before she wakes now that she's free of the seastone. She's got a broken rib, and too many wounds to count. It looks like many of them were from a whip, a handful from a blade. She's got a black eye, a swollen cheek, and most of her torso is covered in bruises in different stages of healing that look like they go back as far as when we lost her. Her wrists are also rubbed raw, I'm assuming they hung her by her wrists and the cuffs cut into her that way. She's definitely emaciated so I've got her on a lot of supplements right now, as well as a lot of antibiotics and pain meds. The pain meds themselves will have her out for a few days till I feel confident that she'd be okay on a lower dose, but that won't be until her fever breaks”

Killer wanted to cry hearing the doctor's report on your condition, and he held your hand close to his mask as he struggled to hold back tears. “Killer, there's one other thing,” Mohawk continued. Killer looked up at him with deep concern. “She's been raped, multiple times if I had to guess from her injuries. It was bad enough to need stitches. I've got her on every STI preventative I have on hand but I'll need to run some tests in a few weeks to make sure she didn't catch anything”

Killer let out a single wheezing sob as he failed to keep his composure. It was no wonder you were so lifeless when they found you, the worst had happened and he only had himself to blame for it. Mohawk gave him a pat on the shoulder and took his leave, giving the Massacre Soldier the space he needed to get his feelings out. Killer began to sob, tears leaking through the holes of his mask as it rested against your shoulder till he caved and tore it off. At some point Kid and Heat joined him, the three of them sitting in silence watching over you, save for the occasional sniff or new bouts of sobs from Killer.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

[deleteddewewted]

PLEASE COULD WE GET ONE MORE PART OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOVE GRAVES. I literally read it and my heart soared! I LOVE A DESPERATE LOVE GRAVES 🤤 (writing is very well done ❤)

What It's Like To Love Graves Part 3

Graves x Gn! Reader

W/n: Im glad someone enjoyed my Graves stuff. Since Graves is coming back to MW3 I think it's only fair if we were to see what happened during the time the reader and Graves began to put effort into rebuilding their relationship.

W: NSFW, Trying out Manogomy, Betrayal, Hurt/No Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Hurt Reader, Injuries, Soldier Reader

P1, P2

You had found some peace throughout your time at your new base.

Your Captain and General were much more flexible and they took your suggestions seriously.

You had gained new freedoms such as downtime.

You picked up hobbies to fill your time with.

You began forming bonds with many of your men.

Throughout it all, you received letters from Graves. All of them were sickeningly sweet.

He was like a dog with a bone.

He had managed to convince you to give this relationship, or whatever this is, a try.

He sends you a letter filled with poetic romance and horny yearning.

He'd send you pictures as well. Physical ones. Ones that could be used against him.

They were explicit, most of them at least.

Some of them were of him nude showing off his body. There were a few of him playing with himself. Your favorite one is of him sucking on his fingers with half-lidded eyes.

You got a thrill at the thought of how vulnerable he was being with you.

So you kept the pictures and some of them you put up on your wall.

All of the letters were put into a box for safekeeping.

You wrote back as well.

You told him about your new recruits and the hours you've been putting in at the gym.

He asked for some pictures in return but you always teased him by sending him a set of your own pictures of your body from the neck down posing after going to the gym or in your sleepwear.

You never showed off everything, just enough skin to leave him drooling for more.

The letters became more intense and more spread out over weeks and later on over a series of months.

Communication slowly depleted between you both.

Work had gotten heavier for the two of you and you both didn't have the energy to write to one another anymore.

Eventually, you both found the chance to meet in person.

It wasn't the best set of circumstances but you were both called in to discuss arrangements for a possible collaboration with a special squadron.

General Shepherd and Station Chief Laswell had wanted to discuss in person in regards to any possible future aid that might need to be provided to their special operations task force.

Graves was eager to aid in whatever way he could while you hesitated.

You liked your new post and the liberties it had given you. Giving that up wasn't something you wanted.

You asked if you could have some time to consider your options to which you were met with a disgusted look from the General and a passive nod from Laswell.

"Dont you want to be closer to one another? Dont you miss me?" Graves argued with you as you both left the General's office.

You rolled your eyes at him and kept walking.

"Dont you want to improve our relationship?" He grabbed your arm and stopped you.

"Phillip Graves. Not here." You hissed. You both walked into an empty conference room and locked it behind you.

"I can't give up my post. I like it. I like my base and I like my responsibilities. Helping some international task force doesn't fall in line with my goals." You argued.

"Then join Shadown Company. You can have the same responsibilities or, even better yet, you can have less responsibilities but the same authority." He wiggled his brows at you with an all too cocky smirk.

"I don't mix work with my personal life, Graves."

"Call me Phillip, hun. And for your information, you don't have much of a personal life already so of course you don't mix them." He teased.

You were getting nowhere and he knew he could convince you so you both decided to call it even and head back to your temporary barracks.

You both fucked like tomorrow wouldn't come.

You left bite marks on his body and scratched his back with your chipped nails.

He sucked on your skin and caressed it like you were the one who needed delicate treatment.

He rutted into you like he wanted you claimed from the inside out. His cum dripped out with every thrust. You're sure that the condom broke but you could care less.

His body enveloped you and kept you warm against that cool air of your room.

He was a little sex drunk, he kept mumbling about how he couldn't wait to have a baby with you, how he was going to get you pregnant.

It took everything in you not to laugh because you know that once he had his head cleared up and the hormones finally calmed down he would hide his face in the crook of your neck while telling you to forget about everything he had just said.

For the first time in years, you both stayed the night.

You were comfortably sleeping on top of him till morning and once he woke up you both just began getting ready for work.

You both kept this routine for the next two weeks until you decided that you would be kept on call in case they needed you for backup but that you had to return to the base where you were stationed.

Graves wasn't all that happy so the last day you spent with him was spent with him always by your side like a lost puppy.

He grabbed you both dinner after he burned the one he had ruined.

He was outwardly affectionate with you and made sure to show everyone that you two were more than just bunk buddies.

He kissed you slowly and made sure to taste as much of your skin as possible.

He wanted to remember your scent and your taste. He needed to remember the sound of your voice and the sounds that you made when you called his name and moaned.

He needed you, every part of you. He needed you to stay with him even though he knew you won't and couldn't.

You left early in the morning with hickeys covering your neck and handprints on your legs.

You got a letter from Graves the day he was asked by General Shepherd to help join the task force with an operation down by Mexico in regards to a terrorist called Hassan.

He told you he was going dark in the meantime and to not expect letters in the meantime. He promised to speak to you in person right as he finished up with this issue.

You heard nothing from him for a while. You never finished writing a letter in response to his last one.

You didn't need to.

You were called in by Laswell to provide aid to Captain Price and his sergeant with an extraction in Las Almas.

You were flown out to Amsterdam and met up with the captain and his sergeant.

You both made it to Las Almas and immediately entered a firefight with soldiers whose uniforms were a little too familiar to you.

You spotted Graves in the distance aiming a rifle at the Colonel's soldiers as they scaled up the walls of their former base.

You don't think he saw you but it didn't matter.

He was now your new foe that you were sent to end.

You followed everyone into the getaway van and listened to the information the Captain had acquired during his investigation.

You already that Shepherd had betrayed everyone, that was not your focus.

"Sir. What is our new task?" You removed your helmet and made yourself known to the two other members of the task force.

The skilled masked one, Ghost you assumed, looked at you before returning his gaze to the Captain while Soap watched you intently.

"Eager to get this over with Lutienent?" Price joked.

"I would like to stay prepared since I'm familiar with Shadow company and their methods."

"Are you? In that case, I think it would be best if we start planning our next move once we get to the safe house." No more questions were asked and nothing more was said. The ride to the safe house stayed quiet even after everyone got out of the van.

You all had the chance to rest for the night.

You were told to rest since they would need you bright and early to discuss the plan.

You stripped out of your heavier gear and took the blankets that the Seargent Major, Rudy, gave you to put on the floor.

You were used to sleeping in uncomfortable positions and uncomfortable places so sleeping on the floor covered with hay was a bit more luxurious than the usual.

You didn't get much sleep as your thoughts raced.

Graves was now your enemy and not that long ago you had him warming your bed and marking your skin.

Not that long ago he was calling for you to let him cum inside you and asking you what you wanted to do once his operation was over.

You dreamed of him.

Graves was bloodied and begging for your forgiveness on his hands and knees.

He was looking up at you like you were his god and his only savior.

"Baby, please! Take me with you. Take me back. Im sorry. Please, help me!" His nose was broken and he was bleeding from his abdomen.

Snot mixed with blood and tears streamed down his face. His hands pull at your fatigues and begging for your attention.

When you woke up you took a quick shower and put your gear back on before heading out to the communal room.

The plan was set in motion.

The Ghost team was ready to go with you following behind The captain and his sergeant.

[doublydaring]

the great thing about gender is that you can do anything at any time and there's absolutely no way to be yourself incorrectly. the point of life is trying things and seeing what makes you happy, and what makes you happy is probably going to change a lot! but also if it doesn't that's a learning experience too! sending love <3

first of all anon, bless your heart.

bizarre rant with way too much personal information below the cut. SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!

second, because at the ripe old age of zero years old i was a wise old sage with a level headed autism that put me perfectly at the intersection of considerate and above the petty worries of the world i have been telling forlorn transgenders this over the phone since day one (no joke someone I hadn't spoken to in five years called me up the other day to have me talk them through softening their transition, its okay to be nonbinary guys) but ack! sometimes its so hard to take your own advice.

I have gained some weight in the last year or so and I just can't seem to get over me looking ooooh just so slightly off, to me, like I feel like I don't look like myself. I don't know.

Testosterone's largest impact on my life was it's role as an appetite stimulant, before I started testosterone I lived in a constant state of nausea, and it basically cured me of that. It was huge instead of going to bed anxious every night that I was going to throw up I slept like a baby, it also helped me to start working through the main symptoms of my ARFID. I literally called it a miracle drug to so many people, it changed my life.

But! I don't know if I still want to be on it. It's been almost three years and I've suddenly started having problems with my dosage, I've been off and on it trying to figure things out and I don't know, it just got me thinking, what if I don't want to do this anymore.

I do look different than I used to, or at least I think I do. I feel like I don't look like myself. I don't know.

Part of me feels like I'm just giving up, because transitioning socially has been very difficult for me. Female terms feel comforting in their familiarity, masculine ones always feel deliberate and effortful. I want to be beautiful, I want to be desirable. Does going off testosterone simply represent a submission to societal pressure, to finally giving in and trying to be normal.

In my junior year of high school I had a crush on a blond man. I had no chance with him, he was tall and gorgeous and smart and rich and a senior and it just was not happening, but I sort of put a pause on my transition that year as I got to know him, and tried to be more feminine, more conventionally attractive. It didn't work. I am not that. I cannot be that. I can't! It is something that I am not capable of, it is something I have never been capable of. I feel like as soon as I hit puberty it was over for me. I got gross. And that's terrible, that's so terrible, that's a terrible thing to feel and a terrible way to think but I cannot help it because I feel like that is the input that I am receiving from the outside world. I just had this conversation with a couple of friends but it really is ethnic trauma. My mother got a nose job at 14 and extensive laser hair removal to dull her ethnic traits, traits that she then passed on to me, traits that were amplified by my dad's genetics, traits that she implicitly taught me were ugly and undesirable and needed to be changed. And then I had the nerve to be autistic too, pick a struggle, really.

WHATEVER basically I am fucking fiending for sexual validation from cis men that I am too cowardly to actually go out and get so instead I'm just going to bitch and moan on here. I am not going to detransition because their is nothing to detransition back to, I was never a girl, but so much of me wishes I could be, I want more desperately than anything to be a beautiful and desirable woman. I thought because I couldn't cut it as a girl I should try being a boy but I don't know, it feels unnatural. A bitch needs to get on estrogen or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!