#he's getting up to shenanigans let him be

[yanmuffins]

waiter! waiter! more phineas and ferb reader pls!

I wonder how the batfam would react once they catch reader inventions on a random tuesday, like, "hm, what a nice day to look out on the window and HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A GIANT ROBOT SPITING FIRE WHILE RIDING A ROLLERCOASTER IN MY BACKYARD???"

the events that would follow this incident would be funny and exasperating, me thinks

also, wouldn't it be funnier if Perry the Platypus was part of the JL? and like, no one knows his identity but Superman, and neither of them are willing to talk about it-

I know it would be very unlikely, since everyone there would have enough neurons to recognize a platypus with and without a hat, but for the sake of shit and giggles, just think of how funny that would be

welp, I needed to get that outta ma chest, I hope I at least made you laugh a little, because seriously this is one of the best ideas I've seen in this tag and I can't stop thinking and giggling about it

Stay well!

context.

first: i was not expecting this concept to be so popular!! the responses i've gotten from everyone are so amazing!!  ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) thank you for the ask, anon!! it always makes my day.

i am formally announcing that i will be turning phineas and ferb reader into a fic now. it's too good a concept to pass up. something more light-hearted to work between the other fics i'm writing.

batfamily finding out about reader's whacky inventions would be an event. it so wholeheartedly shatters the image they had of reader to the point they just have to sit with what the hell just happened for a while before they even consider what to do about you next. still so many things that don't make sense. their newest case is how the fuck did we go this long without finding out (Y/N) has been building mechas in our backyard and why are those things always gone when it's convenient.

then the realizations just start dropping on them like an anvil on a looney tunes character. and they kinda feel like shit, cause how did they not notice? really puts into perspective how they've neglected you all this time. so many stunts you pulled right under their nose, on their backyard, their garage, throughout gotham and metropolis. ok, were out there being creative and amazing and you sure know how to spend the wayne family money, they'll give you that, but it was so irresponsible of you! who knows what could've gone wrong. you're not like them! you're a civilian with no training, the only regular teenager in the family, you're the last person who should be exposing themselves doing all that.

bruce goes off on you, screaming about how could you be so reckless, you did all of this behind his back– what? what do you mean he gave his permission? and he is floored, devastated, blood pressure up, when you remind him of every instance you dropped by his office with a document for him to sign or to ask for permission, with proof as you pull out every paper he put his signature without a second look.

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is when reader's dynamic with the batfam does a complete 180 and their little yandere antennae start going off. no more whacky cartoonish shenanigans. at least not without proper supervision. they know you're not a fan of this new arrangement, but you gotta understand they let you go unchecked for way too long! they'll drown you in family activities so you don't even have to worry about it. who wants to build a teleportation machine, anyway? just join them for family movie night.

as for perry, that is going to take them a while longer to figure out. bruce just can't stand another insane discovery, so when batman sees an intelligent platypus wearing a fedora and walking on two feet on justice league headquarters (if we're going by the idea that he's a part of JL), he's just going to think "my kid has a pet platypus. huh."

oh, consider:

dick: "damian, you knew all this time?! our sibling could've gotten into serious trouble! why didn't you tell us about this?"

damian: stares into the camera like he's in the office.

[dira333]

All tricks, one treat - Suna Rintarou x Reader

cupid - for @moochiwoochi for the Milestone Event Week 1

“So, uh, what’s your type?”

You lift your head to stare at the waiter. “What?”

“Your type,” he sends you a cheeky grin. “What is it?”

“Not you.”

His grin widens. “Kinda figured that out already but thank you. So, your type?”

“What’s this?” You eye him before leaning to the side to eye his twin at the counter, shaping Onigiri. “Does he know you’re doing this?”

“No, lean back, will you?”

You smirk, turning your head but not leaning back. “And what will that get me?”

“I’ll pay for your drinks, now lean back.”

You smile as you settle back in your chair. “In that case, I’ll take another one. You know what I’m drinking anyway.”

He sighs. “Listen,” he checks if his brother’s paying attention before turning around. “I have this friend that would be amazing for you, but he’s a little-”

“No.” 

“You haven’t even let me finish.”

“I’m not letting you set me up with anyone.”

“Fine,” he huffs, “Your loss.”

-

“Are you sure you don’t want to-”

“No, Atsumu,” you cut him off this week before he can offer you the usual. “I don’t want to be set up.”

“But you’re single, right?”

You grumble under your breath but his grin is persistent and so is he.

“Fine,” you huff quietly. “I am single. But so are you, right?”

“Temporarily,” he tells you with confidence. “How about I invite him here, no pressure, and you can check if you even like him. He won’t even know we’ve talked about this before.”

“You’re as subtle as a Tiger trying to play Giraffe.”

“That’s an awful comparison.”

You shrug and take your usual seat, waving at Osamu to let him know you’re here.

You’re pretty sure Atsumu’s not going to give up just like that.

-

“He’s here,” Atsumu announces one week later. 

“Who? Your replacement? Why are you dressed as a waiter when you don’t even work here anymore?”

“I’m helping out,” Atsumu hisses, but he’s quick to get back on track. “My friend, the one I mentioned. He’s here.”

“Pease don’t tell me-”

“Oh, hi Bokkun.” Atsumu’s face is one big smile. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

Bokkun, or Bokuto, as he introduces himself, smiles just as big. “Good to see you too!”

You have to admit, he’s good-looking, though he almost upturns your table as he tries to pull Atsumu into a bone-crushing hug right in front of you.

You look around for a different table, locking eyes with a guy in the next booth over.

His eyes glow like yellow diamonds and he gives you a lazy smile that could mean absolutely everything and nothing at the same time.

Embarrassed, you turn back to the commotion in front of you.

“Bokkun, this is a friend of mine. Do you wanna sit with her while I get us something to eat?”

You watch helplessly as Bokuto takes that offer, grinning back at you from the other side of the table.

Sure he’s cute, but he reminds you of a Golden Retriever whereas you’ve always been more of a black cat type of girl.

He immediately begins to talk, telling you all about today’s training and the shenanigans he and Atsumu get into on the daily when all you’ve wanted was a quiet dinner after work.

Looking for help your eyes wander around the restaurant, soon finding yourself eye-to-eye with your booth neighbor again.

“Need help?” He mouths wordlessly. You nod.

He gets up and walks over. 

“I’m sorry,” he leans in, cutting Bokuto off and your thoughts as well. He’s even prettier this close. “I might be wrong, but don’t we know each other?”

“Yes,” you grasp that excuse with both hands. “Middle School, right? What was your name again? You sat in front of me, I think.”

“Suna. Suna Rintarō.” His handshake is firm and reassuring. “I’d love to catch up, but if you’re occupied-” He gestures at Bokuto who doesn’t seem to get the hint.

“Oh, Bokuto here is a friend of the waiter, I think. He was just sitting with me to keep me company, but I’m sure he won’t mind. Right, Bokuto-san?”

“Right?” He answers, a little confused.

“Well in that case,” Suna points at his booth and you take your escape as quick as your legs allow.

-

Suna, as it turns out, is just as fun as he’s helpful, making you giggle with comments about his own teammates - apparently you don’t have anything against volleyball players, you just have something against Atsumu Miya.

“I’m gonna be right back,” you tell him an hour into what feels like a date before heading to the bathroom.

When you return, Atsumu’s bright blond hair is shining like a beacon from the booth you just left.

Sighing inwardly you try your best to sneak up to him undetected.

“For the last time, Tsumu, I’m not interested in meeting the girl you want to set me up with. I came here tonight because I wanted to eat Onigiri and also I just met someone I like-”

“You’re not listening to me-”

“Atsumu Miya,” you interrupt him, satisfied when he jumps at the sound of his own name. “I do think you need to learn some boundaries. We don’t want your useless help!”

Atsumu gapes at the two of you for a whole second before he gathers himself, cackling. “You guys don’t understand. I was setting up the two of you and it looks like it worked.”

You blink. Suna groans.

“But what about Bokuto?”

“Distraction,” Atsumu grins. “You would have hated Suna if I had introduced him to you. But you like him now, am I right? Heh?”

You glare at him, unable to look over at Suna now who sighs.

“Tsumu, you have one chance to leave this booth right now or I’ll start sharing that one video from High School that you begged me to delete.”

Panic flashes over Atsumu’s face as he gets up. “I’m gone, I’m gone!”

But even as he seemingly vanishes into thin air, you can’t relax after this.

“I’m really sorry about this,” you tell Suna without really looking at him. You can see that he’s nodding.

“Me too. He’s going to hold this over our heads forever.”

“Mhm.”

“So… dessert?”

When you blink up at him now, he’s grinning, sly and lazy and very appealing.

“I do like you, you know. Atsumu be damned,” he mutters, sliding one hand over the table to take yours.

“Fine,” you say, more to yourself than to him, before you slide into the booth once more. “But I’ll pick the dessert.”

And from the way his knee knocks into yours under the table you know he knows you feel the same way about this.

A little conflicted, a little relieved, and a whole lotta interested.

[blackknight-kai]

Could you do something for Wukong and Destined One(separate) who's human s/o isn't really talkative. Like generally won't speak unless spoken to. But will speak up if it's important or they noticed something the Monkey didn't(didn't say 'I love you' until like a year into the relationship). But their s/o is happy to smother them in physical affection if asked or hinted at.

Like kisses all over their faces, full body snuggles, let's D.O and Wukong carry them if they want(even latching on their backs like baby monkeys), will happy be part of a grooming train with the monkey people. You know that kind of stuff.

Please and thank you :3

Hiya!

So a quiet reader huh? Got it! I vibe with this a lot because I’m honestly quiet unless I get comfortable and even then I still am not the most talkative depending on what’s going on.

You being selective when you speak? Monkey is so good with that.

Both: Regarding the grooming and attention.

- [ ] He loves the sound of your voice when you DO talk at times. Genuinely LOVES it.

- [ ] Finds it endearing that you want to be close to his kind. Genuinely happy about it.

- [ ] Very much appreciates that while you don’t talk much, you don’t mind the chatter and loud noises of the monkey yaoguai nor how social they are.

- [ ] It takes the monkeys a little bit to get used to you, because well they aren’t exactly quiet and they probably wonder what’s wrong with you (nothing of course) but eventually they just realize it’s just how you are and accept it. They learn how to ‘read’ you.

- [ ] He loves that you’re so patient with it too and especially loves when his kind just kind of…pull you into their grooming trains without thought, as though you belong. And the fact that you seem to enjoy it and even participate yourself makes his affection for you grow. You just kind of mix right in with them happy to go along with their shenanigans.

- [ ] He also loves that the monkey cubs seem to gravitate to you for nap time or when they want cuddles and affection. Because you’re quiet they enjoy the peacefulness you bring. They also regularly just kinda climb you and sit on your lap, ultimately comfortable with you.

- [ ] Carrying you in any way shape or form is something he LOVES. Because you weight nothing to him and he can have you close to him. Be it princess style, piggy back, or even a front back pack style 👀, he loves it and if you let him will do it whenever he pleases (plus it means he can move faster or get you out of danger quickly as needed).

- [ ] If you’re being cheeky in your own way or being stubborn, or maybe you’ve had a small argument with him, he will definitely carry you over his shoulder because he can and it annoys you AND he gets to be close to you.

- [ ] He’s very tactile, so he’s going to be touching you a lot - his kind is social so physical touch is something he’d really want with you. Snuggling and being in your personal bubble all the time. Some part of him is always touching some part of you. Sharing food, worries, or clothes, and eventually a bed.

Destined One:

- [ ] He definitely is okay with this situation. He doesn’t mind you not speaking because well….he doesn’t really either. He gets it.

- [ ] At first he might have been worried or unsure, mainly because HES used to being the quiet one surrounded by his loud kin.

- [ ] He’s going use more grunts/sounds, gestures, or specific looks and you guys probably have specific movements that mean certain things.

- [ ] He appreciates the comfortable quiet and the soft conversations or sound of your voice when you do speak together.

- [ ] If you were to talk a lot all of a sudden it might make him worry!

- [ ] He will be watching your body language a lot as he does things - wants to learn what certain faces you make mean or what it means when you move a certain way.

- [ ] When you do speak he’s VERY attentive and listening. Because he knows it’s important if you’re talking. Especially could mean danger or something is amiss. Or whatever you’re talking about is crucial.

- [ ] Also, two of you being silent and able to communicate like that? Thats a deadly combination for pranks or even battle tactics.

- [ ] He’s an awkward peanut so when trying to woo you or see if you’re interested he’s of course not gonna ASK nor wait for you to say something. He’s going to do subtle things to test the waters and watch for your reaction.

- [ ] When you guys manage to get together things can be a bit slow, again he’s going to always watch or make a certain sound that mean “is this okay?”

- [ ] You both have your own tells when you want affection and attention so learning those tells is something the two of you work on asap.

- [ ] He knows pretty quickly what certain looks mean or if you scoot closer. He knows when you’re silently asking for his tail to wrap around your and his arm to pull you in so you’re settled nicely against his warm side.

- [ ] Loves giving you soft affection and enjoys the little giggles he can get out of you when he peppers your face with kisses or tickles you.

- [ ] Knows when you need a hug or just a moment to yourself. He knows what every sound you make means as well, every content sigh or groan of annoyance.

- [ ] Even when you might pretend not to want the affection he’s going to know you want it and will gladly give it.

- [ ] He is someone who hadnt really allowed too much contact in the past or divulged in the more social aspects of his kind. He was so focused on his goals and he honestly didnt think he NEEDED this kind of affection but once he met you and started having ‘feelings’ he really got to a point where he WANTED to be affectionate with you. Wanted to give you so much and receive it back, he doesnt know how he lived with out it.

- [ ] You guys get so comfortable to the point that really everything is just a natural movement. He knows you inside and out and you him. Knows what you’re thinking by locking eyes with you.

- [ ] He loves the soft quiet atmosphere with you and the connection that genuinely doesn’t need words.

- [ ] The “I love you” words? Those are through actions he gives you and you return. When you guys speak them for the first time way after being together for some time, it’s more of a low whisper of words while you’re cuddled up close, noses nuzzled together. Soft kisses traded between the two of you. It’s warm and cozy.

Wukong:

- [ ] Chatter fucking box.

- [ ] He does not care that you don’t talk much, he will talk for you. Literally sometimes. Might even make up a whole conversation where he even answers himself out loud - or he makes a clone of himself and has the clone pretend to be you while he talks (this is if he REALLY wants to be a menace and annoy you).

- [ ] But in reality he genuinely doesn’t mind it.

- [ ] He quickly learned your body language and what your expressions or non verbal cues mean. Pretends sometimes not to know just to lightly tease you.

- [ ] Wukong is careful of you at first though, because he’s learning your tells he might test some boundaries here or there but it’s mostly out of curiosity and wanting to make sure NOT to push them later. He appreciates when you DO speak up to him about something you don’t like. It shows you trust him enough to tell him your honest thoughts.

- [ ] Hes not shy about physical touch, although he won’t push you about it or anything. Will casually do things and as long as you don’t show him you hate it or tell him you hate it, he will keep doing whatever it is.

- [ ] If it’s something major, he will verbally ask you. He doesn’t necessarily need your “word” a head nod will do but he will make sure he doesn’t genuinely upset you.

- [ ] He REALLY listens when you speak. Knowing how rare it is and how important it is. If he’s in the middle of something or fighting something will still be listening for you always. He also makes a point not to interrupt you or talk over you.

- [ ] Appreciates when you talk because of how rare it is and especially if you hold a conversation with him. Doesnt take that for granted.

- [ ] He really enjoys your laugh. Will do everything he can to hear it. He’s cheeky and playful so you being quiet isn’t going to make him treat you differently.

- [ ] Before you get together Wukong is NOT subtle at all. He’s always someone who goes for what he wants so he’s going to be clear about it and of course watch for your reactions or wait for your cues.

- [ ] When you give him the go ahead to court you / date you he is soooooo happy and well….hes a cuddle bug and touch starved so he’s going to be all over you.

- [ ] He did the playing and wrestling things with his kind but he wasn’t really one to share in the more ‘lovey dovey’ things or familial bonding things outside of playing with or grooming the monkey cubs that look up to him. He’s always been their “King” and while he was always amongst them as one of them he wasn’t truly ‘one’ of them, keeping himself a little apart from those more social things. Plus he’s lead a VERY hard life, focused on his own goals and his people…becoming the great sage and going through all his trials. He isnt used to “soft”. Until you. Now he cant get enough.

- [ ] Making sure you know he cares for you by being affectionate and generous with his kisses, hugs, and his tail wrapped around you or touching you.

- [ ] He also really enjoys that he can be calm and quiet with you. You giving him that space to be peaceful and just NOT talk is something he didnt know he needed. You being there when he just needs to think or work through something and not asking questions or expecting him to chat about it is something he REALLY appreciates.

- [ ] He also really loves the quiet cuddles after a long day or just taking an afternoon nap with you. You’re peace, home.

- [ ] As you progress through your relationship at times he may require verbal communication, why? Because as much as he can read you now, he doesnt want to mess this up. So at times when it’s more serious or maybe taking things to another level he’s going to want a verbal answer even it’s a short one.

- [ ] He’s also generous with his affectionate words - over time. Be it pet names or telling you how gorgeous you are. He loves complimenting you and affirming to you that he treasures you. So him saying “I love you” while it wasn’t right away it was something you heard in his tone and actions.

- [ ] When he DOES say it he doesnt expect a response because hes secure in your returned quiet affections.

- [ ] For real though, you giving him THOSE eyes or your body language telling him you want monkey snuggles? Oh boy does that make his tail wag and his chest puff up with pride. He LOVES that you want that from him and cant wait to give you all the kisses and snuggles.

- [ ] When you finally tell him you love him? Verbally? Yeah….he whole world is gonna know. You may need to kiss him to shut him up or fight off his kisses because he’s going to be a kissing FEIND with how happy he is He will also give you the biggest snuggle and bear hug and rub his cheek against yours. You’re not getting out of his hold for a while.

[ratatatastic]

quite honestly we should have a canadian whos sole job it is to make a finn giggle do pressers together more often just for the chaos

if i had a nickle for everytime this happened id have two nickles which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice.

2024 nhl global series finland game 1 postgame interview | 11.1.24 (x)

[anonymous-existences]

DCXDP Prompt 7

Dead Serious Ship but with a twist(?) of a sort. And Good Parents Fenton's + Casper High Classmates knows Danny is Phantom.

• Damian and Danny were Teenage Sweethearts and Danny was in Gotham due to Amity Park Stuff with his parents still taking down the GIW, up until they turned 18 when Damian suddenly became distant. He started canceling plans, distancing himself from his beloved, even going as far as no longer calling Danny by their usual pet names.

From Lovers to Strangers.

• Danny is confused on why Damian is suddenly so distant, until Damian just disappeared, he never contacted Danny at all. Danny's mind is now cluttered with overthinking thoughts that range from negative to dreadful thoughts, at first it was worry that Damian died but he sees an article of Damian being alive and well.... and with someone. Danny feels his heart break into a million goddamn pieces and seeks refuge in his family's arms and moving back to Amity Park.

• Damian's reason of disappearance was apparently for Danny's safety as Ra's had taken particular interest in the boy that has Lazarus Running in their DNA as if it is their blood and for Danny's safety Damian decided to distance himself, a specific mission that required him a partner to take down a specific organization is where the article comes from(Writer can change the last part, either way angst is inevitable).

• 2-3 years later Danny comes back to Gotham because a Ghost of his had something from their grave stolen, and it was stored in the Gotham Museum. Although Danny hates it he stays as it is his duty as A Halfa (Or a Ghost King) to retrieve his people's items from the other side of the veil. Danny happened to attend a gala in one of these occasions and Damian spots him.

Damian and Danny Part :

• Danny feels dread and hatred whenever he sees Damian, Damian is desperate to get him back.

Damian becomes possessive and the Batfam finally tone him down after Danny slaps him, This is mostly angst of Damian being unable to have Danny back as Danny finally settles into the Ghost Zone and Amity Park.

Summary Danny holds a grudge after thinking Damian cheated on him and ghosted him, Danny is not fine and when he does come back to Gotham for Ghost King/Halfa Duties Damian tries to pursue him again which ends with a lot of Vigilante and Phantom shenanigans along with Robin and Phantom romance where they both don't know about each other's Civilian life and when they do more heartbreak and chaos ensue.

Damian wants Danny back so bad and regrets letting his Beloved Polaris go for a mission and for not trusting himself or his family to be able to protect Danny, Danny doesn't like Damian because Damian brings back memories of the last that he truly, really wants to forget because everytime he thinks about it he wants to cry himself to sleep.

My thought is bittersweet ending but that's on the writer's choice or inspiration of this, thanks for reading my crack. I'll see y'all later.

[tswkento]

it’s not your fault that you’re scared of thunderstorms. it’s a totally reasonable fear to have and you’re only human.

toji is not having it though.

when he feels you flinch at the loud sounds from outside, a smirk tugs at his lips as he glances down at you, “having trouble sleeping?”

you pout at him with your brows furrowed and bottom lip jutted out cutely and toji can’t stop his eyes from rolling because before you are able to say anything there is another round of rattling and you burrow your face into his bicep with a high-pitched squeak.

every time the sky turns white and breaks with a roar, you shudder in terror and toji’s condescending, halfhearted teasing is not helping in any way.

when toji moves to leave the bed, you cry out a loud “no, please, don’t leave me alone!” and he makes a face at you with a displeased grumble, “i need to take a piss, woman.” needless to say, you go to the bathroom with him, biting your lip nervously as your fingers grip his shirt.

as much as he is annoyed, when he gets too tired to deal with your shenanigans and has bullied you enough, toji takes pity on you and tries to help you the best he can.

you bury your face in his chest, hands grabbing onto the fabric tightly as you try to disappear into him to hide from the outside world, toji holds you just a little closer to himself as his tired eyes blink at the peeking side of your face. one of his arms is snaked around your middle whilst the other is bent over his side, its hand caressing the back of your head soothingly.

toji tuts his tongue whenever a sign of you waking up from your slumber appears, still early in the sleep, — like one would do with a restless child, shushing a little bit to soothe the baby back to sleep. and when he is sure you’re not gonna wake up anymore, he lets himself relax.

he is gonna drill you about it in the morning tho <33

[coimbrabertone]

Martinsville Cooked...Until It Was Cooked

Now, I will go ahead and admit this: I think I'm the polar opposite of a NASCAR boomer when it comes to tracks. I like most of the 1.5s, while I generally find the little bullrings like Bristol and Martinsville to be more demo derby than good racing. That being said...I think the Martinsville cutoff race yesterday delivered.

At least until the playoff shenanigans soured the end of the race.

One step back though, because let me set the stage for all this first.

I missed stage one of the race, ironically enough - I needed a bit of a break from racing after the Brazilian Grand Prix went from a chaotic wet race to the worst guy in the sport running away with it - but when I tuned in early on in stage two, it was already looking surprisingly good.

Chase Elliott was leading off strategy, Byron was gaining on him, but then behind them it was a pair of Fords battling with Brad Keselowski ahead of Ryan Blaney. Now, the way things were going, Byron could point his way into the championship four, as could Christopher Bell in the #20 Toyota, but...

Chase Elliott in the #9 Hendrick Chevrolet, Kyle Larson in the #5 Hendrick Chevrolet, and Ryan Blaney in the #12 Penske Ford were all heading towards a must-win scenario.

Thus, we had two Hendrick teammates battling and potentially knocking each other out of the playoffs, while behind, a pair of Fords were reeling them in.

Brad Keselowski was out of the playoffs, but he was racing for pride. He wanted to win at Martinsville.

Ryan Blaney, however, won at Martinsville the previous year to advance to Phoenix and won the championship that way.

Then Byron gets ahead of Elliott.

But...a caution comes out for Burton spinning, and it immediately breeds another when Truex also goes around. For a moment, I thought "ah crap we're getting into the short track nonsense part of the race" but no, not quite...instead, it led to a crucial strategic choice.

Byron and Elliott both pit off the Truex caution, Blaney and Keselowski stay out, along with Hamlin and Bell who are also sniffing the chance to advance.

And to add insult to injury, Elliott has a slow stop and drops to the back of the fresh tyre cars.

Keselowski gets out ahead and manages to win the second stage ahead of Blaney, Hamlin, Larson, Byron, and Bell.

This stage makes it official that Blaney and Elliott are must-wins, and Hamlin is more or less in the same boat. With non-playoff car Keselowski in the lead, as they run:

Logano is locked in from his win at Vegas.

Reddick is locked in from his win at Homestead.

Byron is 15 points above the cutoff line.

Larson is 6 points above.

Bell is 6 points below but can win tiebreakers off of previous results.

Hamlin is 17 below.

Ryan Blaney must win to advance.

Chase Elliott must win to advance.

Bell, however, can clinch a spot no matter what so long as he finishes 13th or above, therefore, Byron and Larson are in a points battle for the fourth and final spot. A points battle that becomes a moot point if any one of Hamlin, Blaney, or Elliott win.

Stage three is quite literally 200 laps long, so it turns into a bit of a lull for awhile as cars need to knock off laps, but then...Ryan Blaney begins his charge.

He overtakes Larson, goes hunting down Byron.

Catches Byron as William is lapping Shane Van Gisbergen, so Ryan Blaney bumps SVG up and into Byron, slipping underneath the both of them to take position. This is the kind of move that they say Martinsville is all about, bumping, banging, ruthless, but smart. All three cars continue.

Blaney again catches up to Keselowski but the #6 is a wily old fox and makes it hard to pass.

Fast forward to 117 to go, and it looks an awful lot like stage two; Elliott is leading after an earlier pitstop gave him the undercut, Byron is faster and is hunting him down, while Keselowski and Blaney in the Fords are also entering the picture.

A spin by Carson Hocevar gives all of them the chance to pit.

Meanwhile, Byron, Larson, Ryan Preece, and Austin Cindric stay out, making a play for track position.

The green flag comes out, Larson overtakes Byron, Cindric overtakes Preece, and the yellow comes out again as Kyle Busch lost a wheel on the restart. Byron is angry because he feels they shouldn't have restarted at all given a car lost a wheel, but NASCAR declares that Larson is the leader.

And in the following stint, things start to fall apart for Byron.

Elliott gets him off the restart, Blaney follows not long after, and even the likes of Cindric and Hamlin start pressuring him.

So at this point, it's Larson, Elliott, and Blaney the top three and each of them are in must-win scenarios given how Byron is running and how Bell has a points advantage.

Elliott forces his way inside of Larson to take the lead with 24 to go and completes the pass in turn one, keeping Larson out wide as Blaney grabs the draft and tries to follow him through.

Larson gets down in front of Blaney before turn three, but Larson is maybe a foot higher up in the lane than Blaney is, and that's all Ryan needs as he bumps Larson up in just the right way and then barges through to go side-by-side onto the start-finish straight, completing the pass in turn one.

Larson tries to bump Blaney up and retake the position, but Blaney keeps enough traction in the upper groove to come out ahead onto the backstretch. Now, he starts reeling in Elliott.

Ten laps later, Blaney sends it up the inside in turn three, gets a nose ahead through four, and comes onto the start-finish straight ahead of Elliott to take the lead with fourteen laps to go. Blaney restarted behind Cindric and Hamlin, overtook them both, overtook Byron, and charged through Larson and Elliott as well.

He literally moved through 3/4ths of Hendrick Motorsports to move into the lead. A hell of a drive.

Unfortunately...this is where the shitshow began.

Hamlin and Cindric moved ahead of the struggling Byron as well by this point, so Byron is sixth, the worst position he can be in and still advance. Ross Chastain, Austin Dillon, and Brad Keselowski are all behind Byron and are all faster.

Now, William Byron drives for Chevy, as do Chastain and Dillon.

Joey Logano, locked into the playoffs already, is a Ford driver.

Tyler Reddick, also locked in, drives for Toyota.

Ryan Blaney, about to win his way in, is in a Ford.

Larson and Elliott are out of it with Blaney winning and pulling ahead, while Christopher Bell with the points advantage is in 19th in a Toyota. Byron needs to finish 13 places ahead of Bell to advance, and 6 is exactly 13 ahead of 19.

If Chastain or Dillon pass their fellow Chevrolet, they'd be knocking their manufacturer out of the final four.

So instead, Dillon plants himself on the bottom, Chastain on the top, and they effectively block for Byron, keeping him in sixth place regardless of how slow he is.

So, Chevy is making sure that Byron doesn't lose points.

Now, what does Toyota do?

Well, Bubba Wallace starts reporting with three to go that he feels like a tyre is going down. He is off the pace, and Bell starts gaining on him, passing him in the final corner of the final lap.

Pause now, because what happens next flips the script.

At this moment, with Bell going around him, does Bubba Wallace really have a tyre going down? Technically speaking, it doesn't even matter, because he doesn't say he for sure has one, just that it feels like he has one. There's no penalty for thinking your car has a problem and driving accordingly.

And from his onboard, he does definitely seem to be struggling, and you can see cars going past him and establishing a gap.

That being said, as far back as ten to go, Bubba's onboard does show his spotter keeping him informed of the points situation between Byron and Bell.

And here's an interesting thing as well: at the start of the final lap, Wallace is forced high as Byron, Dillon, Chastain, Keselowski, and Logano, that whole group of cars, goes underneath him to put a lap on him. So he clearly sees the two Chevys behind Byron protecting him from the pair of Fords behind.

The #20 of Bell, also a lap down, tries to take the opportunity to slip under Wallace as well, however, he has a wobble in the middle of it, loses control, and hits the wall. Bell panics, throttles it, and rides the wall to the finish, crossing the line in 18th place.

This ties things with Byron, thus, Bell advances off the back of a tiebreaker.

The problem here is...you smell that smell? Yeah, that's the stench of bullshit.

You quite literally have two cases of race manipulation to gets drivers into the final four. Byron had two other Chevrolets blocking for him in a move which the fanbase has already memed as either Byron's Armada or the Chevy Motorcade - let me know which one you think is funnier in the comments - while with Toyota...

The generous interpretation is that Wallace had a genuine problem, was slow, and his spotter was keeping him informed on Bell just to keep one Toyota from taking out another.

The less generous interpretation is that 23XI informed Wallace that Bell was behind and needed one more point to advance, so they had Wallace fake a problem and deliberately slow down to make sure that Bell got through.

Bell did get through, however, he slipped on the marbles as it happened and wound up in the wall and decided to ride the wall to the finish. This is problematic, as the Martinsville wall ride was explicitly banned after 2022 when Ross Chastain used it to propel himself into the final four.

There is a bit of a distinction, in that Bell was initially attempting the corner instead of full throttling it into the wall, however, the end result is the same as Bell was full throttle against the wall at the end.

And that wall ride, I think, gave NASCAR an easy out as we unpause, because it makes what Christopher Bell did go from dubiously legal to definitely illegal.

You see, without it, you had Chevy definitely doing some race manipulation to keep Byron in the playoffs, while Toyota very likely had race manipulation as well to get Bell into the final four, so this was going to be a very sticky situation as NASCAR would have to figure out how to put an end to these manufacturer games.

Manufacturer games which have already flared up twice this season. First at Daytona, when RCR got pissed off at Parker Retzlaff for pushing Harrison Burton in an attempt to win the race, rather than helping Kyle Busch in another Chevrolet take the win.

Secondly, at Talladega, where Kyle Larson didn't push the Ford of Brad Keselowski to the win, instead allowing the fellow Chevy of Ricky Stenhouse Jr. to take the victory.

These races have decided who goes to the playoffs and who advances in the Round of 12, and now, we've seen two manufacturers manipulating the cutoff race for the final four.

And at least in the case of Chevrolet, we know for sure that there was a coordinated effort to help Byron.

Why? Well, remember Austin Dillon's spotter from Richmond? The guy who yelled "wreck him!" over a monitored radio channel as Dillon took a swipe at Hamlin to win the race? A bit of radio that caused NASCAR to strip Austin Dillon of a playoff berth?

Well, Dillon's spotter, henceforth known as Loose Lips, said the following things over the radio:

LL: "The #24 is two points to the good, if we pass him, he'll be out."

AD: "Does the #1 know the deal?"

LL: "Trying to find him to tell him...Justin, can you tell the crew chief also, clear off."

AD: "Does the #1 crew chief know the deal?"

LL: "Yeah, he should"

Like...Jesus Christ you amateur, watch what you say when you're doing something borderline illegal. You'd think he'd learn his lesson after the whole Richmond thing but evidently not.

So yeah, Chevrolet was definitely helping Byron, and as for Bubba Wallace, his car is currently being torn down by NASCAR. According to Bob Pockrass, the expectation is that there will be some sort of penalty if NASCAR finds nothing wrong with the car.

Oh and, because of how toxic the NASCAR fanbase is, I have to say this part: Bubba Wallace did what his team and his manufacturer expected him to do. The fact that he is black does not make him any more guilty than Austin Dillon or Ross Chastain.

Unfortunately, if Bubba Wallace is found to have helped Bell, I expect he'll receive the blunt of the criticism from a certain subsection of the fanbase. Don't be like them. Wallace is not the problem, Chastain is not the problem, Dillon, as dumb as he and his spotter are, is not the problem either.

Chevrolet wants a Chevy to win the championship, Toyota wants a Toyota to win the championship.

This is an inevitable result of the increasing amount of manufacturer alliances and tiered support.

So yeah, Chevy was stinking up the show, Toyota was probably stinking up the show as well, and that little wall ride by Bell gave NASCAR a way of ruling on the issue without addressing the core issue.

Both Byron and Bell benefitted from cars of the same manufacturer, so you can't punish one without punishing the other, however, Bell is the only one to benefit from a wall ride, therefore, NASCAR sends him to the back of the field based off that, and Byron advances to the final four with none of the manufacturer stuff addressed.

We'll see this week if NASCAR rules on either incident, but I'm not holding out hope.

NASCAR is not going to do anything that might piss off a manufacturer, not when nobody new has entered the sport since 2007.

Anyway, I feel bad for Blaney in all this, because he had this heroic drive to overtake all these other playoff cars and advance to the final four, getting the chance to defend his title. And instead of talking about that, everyone's just talking about this Chevy and Toyota drama.

So of the championship four: Tyler Reddick's team is suing NASCAR, Joey Logano is fifteenth in regular points and only got this far because Bowman was disqualified at the Charlotte roval, and William Byron advanced off the back of all this bullshit.

I really hope Ryan Blaney wins the championship, because anyone else would lead to an unbearable amount of offseason discourse.

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Of Cupcakes and Skulls | Part 9

(A/N) I'm back! I think! Sorry for the month-long absence. A lot happened, but I think I'm back in the groove. This one is a bit on the shorter side, but I still hope you like it!!

Pairing: single dad! Mafia! Simon x baker! Reader

Warning: kissies, fluff, Simon is fucking smitten, a lot of money spending, little spice

Synopsis: Based on this post by @lunamoonbby

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Once you had picked up Millie and Johnny, Simon drove everyone home. In the car, children’s music was blasting, Millie, Johnny, and you loudly singing along, while Simon just smiled, his hand placed on your thigh. When you arrived back in the garage, Millie was tired from all the shenanigans in the car and Johnny had to carry her upstairs.

“Let her nap for a bit, but not too long,” Simon mumbled quietly, authority but also adoration filled his voice.

Johnny nodded and sent you a grin before he walked off with Millie in his arms. Immediately, Simon’s arms found their way around your waist, pulling you against him.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” he growled, his eyes still fixed on the retreating back of his employee.

You chuckled, leaning into him, with a grin on your face.

“I think that’s exactly why he does it.”

Simon grumbled something under his breath before he placed a light kiss against your temple and led you to the elevator. Johnny and Millie were already upstairs, so you had the elevator to yourself. While you were lifted to the penthouse, you quietly hummed along to the elevator music, a soft smile on your lips as you just enjoyed being with Simon. He was your savior through and through and you had never felt safer or more comfortable.

Too soon, the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. The two of you walked into the apartment, and without realizing it, you let Simon lead you to his office. Once in the room, he closed the door behind you and pulled you to the couch against the opposing wall, making sure you were sitting on his lap. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, worry filling you as you raked your nails through his hair.

“Everything okay?”

He nodded, his eyes closed and a smile on his lips.

“Yeah, just tired.”

You hummed, moving your right hand to cradle his cheek, softly stroking the skin.

“We can skip dinner tonight. Gordon will understand and the dress won’t go to waste.”

“Dresses,” he corrected without opening his eyes.

You frowned, confusion filling you.

“Dress. Singular.”

“Nope. Dresses. Plural,” he purred, mischief evident in his voice.

Your left hand found the other side of his face as you turned it to look at you. He opened his eyes, a smirk on his lips as he took in your frown

“Simon…what did you do?”

The smirk turned into a grin as he checked his watch.

“They should be done by now. Let me show you,” he said, excitement vibrating in his voice.

As if you weighed nothing, he picked you up and carried you out of the room, ignoring you as you wrapped your arms around his neck in a panic. With quick strides, he walked through his apartment and climbed the stairs until he reached his bedroom. There, he finally sat you back down onto your feet, before he walked to a pair of doors you hadn’t noticed before.

“Promise me not to freak out.”

You shook your head, making him chuckle. Knowing he wouldn’t get that promise out of you, he just simply opened the doors and revealed a gigantic walk-in closet, Princess Diaries 2 style. Part of it was taken up by dark suits and some leisure clothing, clearly belonging to Simon, but everything else was filled with clothes way too colorful for the man in front of you. Jeans, shirts, hoodies, blouses, cardigans, skirts, dresses, shoes, accessories. As you walked in, it felt as if you had been transported into a luxury store. Mannequins were wearing the dress that Simon bought you today, as well as all the other dresses he had picked out for you. You found shoes in all different colors and styles, from sneakers to platform high-heels.

“How…?”

Simon chuckled, following behind you, his arms around your waist and chest against your back.

“Don’t worry about it. But…I hope you like the clothes. Picked most of them myself, and had a stylist get the rest.”

You spun around in his arms, your face contorted into a mix between a frown and a grin.

“When did you have time for that?”

You watched as his cheeks suddenly turned a light pink, and for some reason, he avoided looking you in the eyes.

“I may have started after I met you for the first time?”

Now you were definitely grinning, enjoying the bashful side of Simon.

“You mean when you didn’t even really know me?”

Simon groaned and tried to step back, but your arms around his waist stopped him.

“You’re really gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”

You chuckled and nodded, still grinning up at the blushing man in front of you. Another groan left his lips before he took a deep breath and turned his face to look at you.

“From the moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be mine. The way you interacted with Millie, the way you smiled at me, and dammit the way your cupcakes tasted. All of that had me fall in love with you instantly. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted you. And I always get what I want.”

You hummed, trying to play down the joy and love that confession had you feeling. But in reality, you knew that your cheeks were the color of strawberries and your heart was beating like crazy while your lips were stretched wide with the grin you were wearing.

“So…you love me?”

Simon chuckled, matching your grin.

“Like crazy,” he growled, his voice deep and rough.

He quickly bent down and captured your lips in a searing kiss. Your arms wrapped tightly around Simon's neck as you melted against him. His lips moved against yours with a passion that left you breathless, his strong hands gripping your waist and pulling you flush against him. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, enveloping you in a cocoon of warmth and safety.

When you finally broke apart for air, Simon rested his forehead against yours, both of you panting slightly. His blue eyes gazed into yours, filled with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

"I love you too, Simon," you whispered, your voice barely audible but full of emotion. A smile spread across his face, lighting up his features in a way that made him look years younger.

He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose before pulling back slightly, his hands still resting on your hips. "Now, as much as I'd love to continue this, we should probably start getting ready for dinner. We wouldn't want to keep Gordon waiting, would we?"

A frown settled on your face, worry filling you again. “Are you sure? We don’t have to go,” the worry that filled you slipped into your voice, making Simon smile.

“I’m fine, don’t worry, okay?” You nodded, not convinced, but for now, you’d let him be. Reluctantly, you stepped out of his embrace before glancing up at him. "But maybe we can continue this... later?" you suggested with a coy smile.

Simon's eyes darkened with desire as he nodded. "Oh, definitely. Count on it, love."

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Call of Duty - Masterlist

Master-Masterlist

Tags: @lunamoonbby @distinguishedprincesstrash @xanvasy @reader-1290

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[snzunii]

goodnight n go ( ran h. ) — part two.

it's really bad that you get along so well.

tags. romance, angst, betrayal, hurt/comfort, established relationship, explicit sexual content, bonten!ran, detective!reader, canon-typical violence, crimes and criminals, drugs, smoking, drinking, illegal activities, EIGHTEEN PLUS ONLY.

“Baby. Wake up.” you stirred in your sleep, trying to pull the blanket over your head just so you couldn't hear your boyfriend, whispering in your ear to get the fuck up. “YN.”

“Leave me alone, Ran.” you mumbled, getting anything that you could reach just to cover your face but he’s one step ahead of you, there's nothing left for you to cover your head with. “Fuck.”

You heard him laugh, you felt the bed sink as he sat beside you. “Breakfast’s ready. Come on.”

But you didn't want to stand up. You just want to stay in bed and rot with him. Is that so bad? You haven't had the chance to see and be with each other this long, is it so bad to have one day for the two of you? 

It isn't, right?

“Can we just stay in? We don't have to go to work today, right?”

You weren't that serious—okay, maybe you are. But you didn't think that Ran would lay down beside you and go along with what shenanigans you wanted to do today, “Okay.”

“What, okay?”

“Let’s stay in today.” 

“Really? Aren't you like, needed for work because, I don't know, your boss is a pain in the ass?” you asked him with a wide smile, you looked at him and you saw his pretty eyes looking at you—you suddenly felt conscious, you just woke up, you haven't even brushed your teeth yet.

But he’s still looking at you like you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. 

“Yeah. But that’s a problem for tomorrow.” he smirked, leaning in to kiss you but you pulled away and that made him frown, “What?”

You covered your mouth with your hand, “Bad breath.” you said with a muffled voice.

“The fuck I care, kiss me.” he says and pulls your hand away, you giggled and let him press his lips gently into yours—he bites your lip, and you close your eyes, draping your arm over his neck, pulling him close to you.

You both pulled away, gasping for air. “Yeah, you should brush your teeth.”

“Ran!”

“Kidding.”

You rolled your eyes at him and he just laughed at you, “You’re such a brat.”

“But you love me.” you said, closing your eyes again.

“Hmm. You’re going to sleep again?” you feel his arm slipping under your head, making it your pillow, “Don't you wanna eat first?”

“Too sleepy.” you murmured, “Wake me up in five minutes, ‘kay?”

You didn't hear him answer but  it’s not long until you hear him say your name again.

“YN.”

You open your eyes, and there you are in front of him—with a gun in his hand. How the fuck did you get here?

“Ran.”

Ran held your wrist, pulling you away from the watching eyes. He knows they're not going to do anything—and they know that Ran’s not going to let you go that easily.

Even though you’re his girlfriend, Ran is in too deep in this shit—yeah, they think he’s stupid for having a detective girlfriend—but they know he wouldn't turn that easily, maybe.

You compromised their location, you found them. You could’ve called for back up the moment you saw the guy that you arrested back then, but all that you were thinking of was Ran. You could just easily point your gun to any of them but you didn't do any of that.

They know you wouldn't do that to Ran. They don't know you that much, but the look in your eyes was enough for them to know that you wouldn't just give him up—even if it’s the right thing to do.

You didn't pull away or protest—you didn't push him away, there were no arguments as he pulled you into the other room, with no other people, just the two of you. “YN—”

Instead of you speaking, your palms met his face over and over. “Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you—”

“Stop.” he says, holding both your wrists. “Stop, YN.”

“Why the fuck would you do this to me? How could you?” your voice was small and shaky, your tears falling continuously, “Why the fuck would you keep something like this from me? You know how hard I worked, you know all of it, then you…?”

You look at him, and you see that he’s Ran… but he’s different. He’s like a stranger, a stranger with a familiar face. A stranger that you touch, you hold, you confide in—that you know—a stranger you love.

Ran couldn't find the words that he wanted to say. He hid this from you because he was selfish—he wanted to keep you, he wanted to be close to you.

If he could live this double life forever just to keep you, then he probably would. 

He was different when he was with you, but that doesn't change the fact that he’s a horrible person who’s done a lot of horrible things, right? That’s how you see him now. “I wanted to protect you—”

“Protect me?” you laughed bitterly, “You really think that you keeping all of this from is protecting me? No, you're lying to me! Deceiving me, you were there every night! Listening to me struggle and you’re one of them?! Why, Ran? Why—”

“Because!” he slammed his hand on the table, “Because I fucking love you! I know it’s bullshit, I’m a fucking horrible person! How the fuck am I capable of love? But I do! I do love you and it’s so frustrating hiding all of this from you!”

You ignored what he said. Because if you did choose to acknowledge all that, you would’ve easily run into his arms—turn your back on your morals and just go with him wherever.

You’re too stupid and heartbroken to think straight that all you wanted to do was to touch him. You wanted him to hold you in his arms and tell you all the things he’s said before, that he’s there… that you’ve got nothing to worry about as long as you’re with him.

You can feel your chest closing in on you, it’s like you’re being suffocated to death that you needed to get out. “I need to leave.”

“You can't do that.” he said, holding your wrist when you were about to walk out the door. You tried to swat his hand away but he kept his hold on you, well, you really can't leave this place—it’s not that easy.

And maybe, he was afraid that if he let you leave—if he let you walk out that door, you’d be gone forever. 

From him… from his life. 

“Let me go!” you yelled, trying to wriggle out of his touch, but he pulled you into the couch, “The fuck—”

“I can't let you do that!” he shouted back, “Do you think you could just walk out of here? Do you think they wouldn't fucking kill you the moment you step out of this building?”

“Okay.” you said quietly, almost a whisper but enough for him to hear you, “Can you just please… let go of my hand.”

Ran sat in front of you, on his knees. “YN. Listen to me.”

“What?” your voice cracks, your tears still falling at the side of your eyes, you try to look at him, but every time you do, you feel like sobbing—so you look away. 

“I love you.” he whispered, “I love you.” 

That was all he could say because that is the truth. The only thing in his life that he didn't lie about to you.

You finally look at him, he smiles at you like he didn't do anything wrong—like with just one smile from him, everything will be okay.

And it’s not. Nothing’s ever going to make this okay.

“I love you, YN.” he cups your cheek and you don't pull away, his thumb brushing away the tears streaming down your face. His touch was familiar, it was comforting—just how it was before. “Please, don't leave. Just stay, hm? Stay.”

You have never seen him so… desperate, that he might just die if you didn't give in. But he had to try, if losing his dignity was the only way for you to stay then he would.

But it was a big thing. It’s a big selfish thing to overlook all the things that he had done, and you don't know if you could live with yourself with all of this.

But, it’s Ran. How could you do this to him? How could you leave him?

It’s Ran, for fuck’s sake. It’s Ran, you love him. You’d do everything for him. You’d jump off a cliff for him. 

It’s him, you were going to build a family with him. He was there for you, the only one there when you were basically empty. When you had nothing, he was the only one there. So… how?

How could you even think about this?

It’s Ran. 

There’s no question about that. 

Fuck, YN. Think.

Think.

“YN—” you cut him off by pressing your lips into him, you drape your arm over his neck to pull him close. 

You tug on his tie and deepens the kiss because fuck it. You both pull away to breathe, he presses his forehead against yours, you close your eyes and just try to feel him.

Just try to forget all the things that were happening. 

His lips find yours again, but this time he was kissing you so hungrily, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip as if he was craving you for a very long time, your fingers unbuttoning his suit—you feel the cushion on your back as he towers over you.

His kisses travel down your neck, his hands unbuttoning—no, more like ripping your blouse, favorite blouse, open and pulling your pants down—ridding you of your clothes, you bite back a moan when his hands squeeze the swell of your clothed tits. 

“Let me hear you.” he groaned, you can feel the vibrations on your skin, it’s as if you feel the nerve impulses all throughout your body. “Fuck, please.”

“Please, baby.” here you are legs sprawled open, under him but he’s the one pleading you, was he always this desperate for you?

His hands sets your panties aside, his fingers finding your swollen clit, drawing circles, trying to get just one fucking noise from you.

Finally, you gasp, your fingers gripping his hair as he pushes his fingers in and out of your cunt. Fuck, yes he was always this desperate.

Always so desperate to make you moan his name, always desperate to see your finger-fucked out face—he’s the only one who could make you like this, what makes you think that he would ever let go of you?

Why would he ever let go of you when you're so beautiful and helpless under him? Getting fucked ruthlessly, your legs hanging on his shoulder as he pump his cock in and out of your pussy?

“R-Ran, fuck! Please, slow down—ah!”  you were a fucking mess, sobbing—mumbling all the right words that should come out of your mouth when he’s hitting all the right, sensitive spot inside you. 

But it seems so hard to hear all your pleas when his hips slams into you like this, both your skin slapping, your wet pussy squelching when his dick slams inside you—it was too good, too good for him to stop, too fucking good to listen to you plead him to slow down, not when he can feel your cunt sucking him in.

You weren't sure anymore where you are, all you could see was your boyfriend’s face, fucking the life out of you.

Every grunt he was making passes through your ears and travels throughout your body. It was too much, you were exhausted—too exhausted to be in the right mind. Too tired to think if this is even right, if you should be even getting fucked right now.

You were already mumbling incoherent words when he switch your positions out, you were all on fours holding on the cushion while he fucks you raw from the back, he leans forward, squeezes your tits and pushes you against his chest.

“...too much, baby, slow down.” you whimpered, if only you could see the look on his face, “Ran, baby, please.”

“Tell me you’re mine.” he grunts, his voice hoarse—his breath was warm against your skin, “You're not going to leave, are you? ‘S too good, right?”

“‘m not, baby.” you gasp, your stomach churning as you feel his thrusts slow down, so agonizingly slow that you feel like he’s fucking with you, “‘m not going to leave. I love you.”

“Fuck!” he slammed his cock deeper, holding both your hips as he fucks you harder and harder, “Fuck, fuck—say that again. Say you fucking love me.”

“I love you,” you breathlessly say, “I fucking love you.”

…

You were just there sitting in silence—you, only wearing his coat, hands intertwined as you lean your head on his shoulder.

No one was speaking, you were bathing in the solace of just being there—together. It’s as if nothing happened, it’s as if you’re not going to make a big decision that’s going to affect your lives together.

Ran was the first one to speak, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” you answer mindlessly.

“You said,” he paused, “You’re not going to leave, did you mean it?”

You don't answer him because you don't know. You have no idea if you mean it or not, all you know is you just wanted to stay here for a moment and not think about anything.

He squeezes your hand, his thumb caressing your skin, he holds on to you tight as if he’s going to lose you and holding on to you was the only way for you not to slip away. 

“He’s my brother. The one with the long hair, similar color to mine.”

“I figured.” you whispered, “He looks a lot like you.”

“Yeah?” you hummed. “I guess.”

“Are we going to stay here forever?” you asked, “I’m hungry. I was going to cook dinner but…”

“You, cooking?” you heard him chuckle, “You sure about that?”

You immediately looked at him with a glare, “Excuse me?”

Your gaze softened when you saw that annoying smile on his face, just like that, it’s like everything was normal. It’s like you were on the bubble again, just the two of you—him teasing you, you being a brat but succumbs to him, and smiles back at him anyway.

But then you remember all the things that he lied about, all the things that you found out and all the things that you are about to find out. 

“I love you.” he says. “I love you so much that I don't know what I’m going to do if I lose you… am I? Losing you?”

“I don't know,” your voice was small, almost silent just like the room that surrounds you, “Would you let me go? Would you let yourself lose me?”

The silence settled once again. He looks into your eyes, and if you looked closely you could almost see the vulnerability inside. 

He’s Ran Haitani, he’s feared by some people. Even you figured that out. But when it comes to you, he’s not afraid to look stupid—he’s not afraid to beg you not to leave him.

You leaned your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you felt the ache in your chest. If it’s only that simple, if only you could say yes that easily.

You took a shaky breath as you felt your tears once again, “How do we do this, Ran? How do I love you like this?”

Ran doesn't know either. How could you love him when he’s this? But he’s too selfish to let you go, he’s too caught up in this mess that he holds on to you because you’re the only thing in his life that makes sense.

“Do you want to leave?”

“Leave?”

“We’ll leave. We’ll run away, me and you.” 

Hearing him say those words just added to the pain you were feeling. He’s ready to risk it all for you. But this is wrong. “Why are you making it so hard for me to love you?” 

Leaving isn't the solution, because one way or another, they're going to find you and that would probably end with the two of you dying. But if that’s what it takes to keep you, then he would gladly leave.

You can see the pain in his eyes, in those eyes that hold so much adoration for you. He pulls you in, your head leaning on his chest. You close your eyes as you listen to his heart beat, it was once again comforting, but it shouldn't be. It shouldn't.

 “Then just let me love you enough for the both of us, hm?”

[singsofecho]

You, slightly inebriated, wandered away from the hunting party fire, and you're fairly certain those unnatural eyes in that pretty face don't belong to anyone you know.

[bet-on-me-13]

Bruce Wayne was never Batman.

So! The night that Bruce Wayne's parents got shot, he developed an Unbreakable Resolve. He needed to get rid of the Crime that had taken his Parents away from him, no matter what.

But that night, he also developed a deep-seated fear of Death. He was face to face with his own Demise and instead of dying himself he saw his Parents die instead. He was Terrified of ending up like them.

But he still needed to stop Crime. He couldn't just let criminals go unpunished, and while he was still using his wealth to try and prevent it before it began, he knew there needed to be something to stop crime After it had been committed. And the Cops were useless on that Front.

He eventually found a solution while looking through his Parents Family Heirlooms.

Ancient Books dating back to the founding of Gotham and even before then, telling of a Creature from another world who his Ancestors had helped in the Past. A Being of Fear and Shadow, who owed a debt to the Wayne Family. He needed that Being. A Monster of Shadows and Fear was exactly the answer to scaring criminals away from committing crimes and punishing those who did.

But he needed to find the Being from another world first.

So he left home, traveling across the Globe training with the best Magicians and Demonologists in the world in search of the Monster who owed his Family a Debt. His travels took him far, from the streets of LA where he met a man named Zatara, to the Snowy Mountains of Nanda Parbat where he learned of the Lazarus Pits and the Demon's that came out of them.

While studying the Lazarus Pits, he was trained by the organization who guarded them. They despised Weakness, and while their leader was in awe of his Intelect he was less impressed by his body's conditioning. If he was to study the Lazarus Pits, he would first have to earn the Right in Combat.

He eventually managed to pass their Tests and eventually left them, having handed over a Copy of his research as the price for being allowed to Study the Pits.

Years later, he finally returned to Gotham, fully equipped to Summon the Being that owed him a Debt.

Bruce drew up the Summoning Circle as perfectly as he possibly could, he had one shot at it.

A drop of his blood and a splash of Lazarus Water later, and the Circle began to glow an ominous Green. Slowing, a shifting shadow began to emerge from the Circle, at first only a mass of writhing darkness before their form Solidified.

The Books he had found on the Spirit said that it would take the form of the Summoners Greatest Fear, which just so happened to be Bats for Bruce. The Form that the Spirit chose reflected that, with large Dark Wings falling over their form as if they were a Cape, and horns looking like the Ears of a Bat. From the Darkness, two glowing eyes appeared.

"Spirit, hear me. My name if Bruce Wayne, and I am calling in the Debt owed to my Family centuries ago. My City is plagued with crime and malice, rotting from its Core. My efforts to prevent Crime from the side of the Light have been in vain, Crime persists despite my efforts. In order for my vision to be fulfilled, the Criminals of this City must have their hearts pierced by Fear. Fear of Retribution. Fear of Consequences. Fear of Vengeance."

Thoughout bis Speech, the Shadowed Figure stayed silent.

"That is why I have called you here. I want you to stalk these streets, punish the criminals of this City and strike fear into their hearts from the shadows, so that they know to stay in the light. I don't want you to Kill them, never kill them. Let them live with that fear in their Hearts until their final days."

After he finished his speech, the Figure finally spoke.

"Your Quest is an Honorable one. You seek the betterment of your people's, and are unafraid to resort to drastic measures to achieve that goal. It reminds me of my Liege's resolve." It Spoke, it's voice low and rumbling. "Very Well. From this day forth, I shall protect your City from the Darkness in its own Heart. I shall be your Dark Knight."

...

Had this idea out of nowhere and needed to write it down. In this AU, Bruce still wants to protect his City from crime, but is understandably traumatized from seeing the Deaths of his Parents. He has a deep-seated fear of Dying, so he chooses to forgo fighting crime himself.

Instead, he finds out about a Spirit that his Ancestors helped long ago, and decides that the most logical next step out be to Summon a Demon to protect his City. Instead of training his Body for a decade to become Batman, he trains his Mind and Studies as much about Magic and Demon's as Possible.

He still knows how to fight because he trained with the League. He approached them with an offer to study the Lazarus Pits and give them his findings, and they accepted. But Ra's didn't want a weakling on his Base so he also required Bruce to train his body. He saw his potential for combat, and was so disappointed that Bruce had chosen a different path. He could have been Great!

Bruce still has a thing with Talia that produces Damian, he is still a point of interest from Ra's since he is insanely smart and has huge potential, and he knows how to fight pretty well. Albeit not as well as in Canon.

Bruce becomes the Benefactor/Guy in the Chair for Fright Knight (who is the one he summoned if you couldn't tell), who looks like a "Bat Man" because of Bruce's fear of Bats. Fright Knight agreed to this because 1.) He had a debt to pay, 2.) Bruce reminded him of Danny, and 3.) He respected Bruce's ballsyness to Summon a demon and command it to protect people.

Bruce still adopts his Kids, but there are some changes.

Dick is adamant about fighting Crime, and eventually Bruce is forced to let him go on patrol with Fright Knight, who has started going by Batman. Thankfully Frighty managed to give him some blessings so he had minor powers and would be safer.

Jason is mostly the same, and he is so excited that Robin actually IS Magical. When he dies, Fright Knight, who had gotten attached to their Family, goes into the Zone to search for him. He is unsuccessful unfortunately.

Tim is kind of funny. He figured out that Dick was Robin, and Jason was the 2nd Robi , but assumed that Bruce was Batman. When he approached Bruce about becoming Robin so he would stop going down his violent Cycle, Bruce Redirected him to talk to Fright Knight, who was not taking his failure to find Jason well.

Damien grew up knowing that his Father was a Genius, and the Master of the Batman, which gave him a bit of an Ego. At first he thought of Fright Knight as a Servant, and tried to command him like he did with Alfred. Frighty corrected him quickly enough.

Any more ideas for this AU? I have so many, but I think I need to stop for now.

[iamnmbr3]

So you know the scene at the end of The Taming of The Shrew where they have that stupid competition to see whose wife is most obedient? Can you imagine if other Shakespeare characters were there?

Ophelia: You called, My Lord?

Hamlet: No I didn’t. Why are you here when nobody likes you? Go away!

Petruchio: Even I think that’s mean.

Romeo: Go find Juliet and ask her if she would come here and tell her she has the most beautiful eyes, that make the very sun seem dull, and the loveliest hair and a face that puts to shame Aphrodite herself...oh and bring her this sonnet I wrote her...and actually I’ll go find her myself for I can’t bear to be apart from her another moment!

Petruchio: …

Petruchio: … Yeah he’s not coming back. Next!

Coriolanus: Go find my wife and ask her to come here and also ask her if she's seen Aufidius. Actually, have you seen Aufidius...or heard any news of him?

Servant: No I haven't… Is there a name or a description I could use to find your wife?

Coriolanus: Hold on. I know this one.

Petruchio: Wow... We’ll come back to you. Next!

Orlando: I refuse to participate in this farce. It’s demeaning to women.

“Ganymede”: Nonsense! Any real man (which I totally am) wants women to obey him without question!

Orlando: That’s wrong! That’s not being a “real man”; that’s just being a bully. I would never treat Rosalind that way and I hope no one else would either!

“Ganymede”: … You pass the test.

Orlando: What?

"Ganymede": What?

Benedick: HEY BEATRICE!

Beatrice from 3 rooms away: WHAT?

Benedick: CAN YOU COME HERE A SECOND?

Beatrice: WHY?

Benedick: SOME MAN HERE WANTS TO SEE IF YOU’RE OBEDIENT.

Beatrice: WHY ARE YOU PERPETUATING THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN INSTEAD OF PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE?

Benedick: YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WANT TO COME HERE AND SHOW OFF YOUR OBEDIENCE? I AM SHOCKED AND HEARTBROKEN!

Beatrice: HA. HA. SO HILARIOUS.

Beatrice: … HE STILL DOESN’T SOUND VERY PUNCHED IN THE FACE. I SUGGEST YOU FIX THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOREVER!

Benedick: ON IT!

Benedick *rolling up his sleeves*: Isn’t she great?

[demigod-shenanigans]

Jason was in the infirmary constantly and wouldn’t fucking leave LMAO

After Leo woke up at least the others were able to talk him into leaving to get some sleep but he was just around so much. Will was just sitting there with his head in his hands but gave up on trying to make him leave

I love the puzzles idea. I’m also so amused by the thought of Jason digging up some old board games and just losing constantly because Leo is both very smart and Jason just hasn’t spent much time playing board games in his life. Leo teasingly tells him to stop letting him win to make him feel better (he knows Jason is just terrible and finds it very funny.

Jason is decent at puzzles though and does find those fun (including the sections that are solid color for some reason) he’s just comically terrible at board games

Also I love the chess thing. I just know they (especially Annabeth) get so intense and competitive for no reason. Leo can win fairly but will also try to get away with stealing at least one of Annabeth’s chess pieces if she gets distracted just to see if he can (usually the answer is no but that makes it so much more thrilling when he does succeed)

That’s so fun!! I like the mcga gang I’d love to see them interact with Leo and friends (also a bunch of them know at least some ASL due to Hearth later down the line iirc. So that potentially makes three languages Leo and Alex can plan shenanigans in. That’s terrifying LMAO)

I’m having a Week so I’m kindly going around requesting headcanons again please be nice

Hurt/comfort is my favorite but anything else is good too

[ratatatastic]

the things ekky has done or said that i cant stop thinking about. the 4 minute cut.

[phantom-0-writer]

*standing menacingly at the door* i made u something

anyways lol. i had a lot of school work and was really busy freaking out and stress studying for a singular test that was 4 questions and would be over in like an hour and then i proceeded to cry about it in my car for various reasons.

but yk what that means!

time for our irregular and unscheduled update of

Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program

this episode featuring a fan favorite: Duke Thomas (aka The Signal - but thats kind of irrelevant for this)

you were supposed to read that like it was from a '90s sitcom and the off screen crowd cheers rly loudly.

some house keeping updates: this scene happens in the beginning of the school year (going by the american system should be september) danny meets damian (and upsurges tim on the same day) around midterm which is around october and then the stuff with jason and damian's drawing happens around december. i kinda accidentally burned the irl timeline for anything dc first scene so now im just gonna do whatever i want.

anyways with out further ado:

table of contents

scene 04: after school activities for normal kids

Duke stood around the corner of the classroom awkwardly, wondering if he had made the right call. Sure the bats and the birds had a plethora of hands on deck any time, but most of them specialized as night time heros. Not to say that they were incompetent or anything, they were some of the most skilled and innovative people Duke had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Sure if anything happened, they could handle it, at least until Duke could slip away and show up as the Signal- Alfred and Bruce had assured him so much. But Duke couldn’t slip the guilt of busying away more of his time to after school activities when he could be patrolling or studying instead, 

But Duke had wanted to do something outside of those things, which was specifically why he had made the difficult decision to join a few clubs and after school activities. He could use a break from being surrounded by people who worked the vigilante life-style just to remember how to be a normal civilian. Let himself take a break from constantly be consumed by one case or another, one disaster or another, not being able to do enough no matter how much he tried or how much time he spent patrolling. 

Duke needed to feel grounded, like his feet were on the ground and he could press the brakes and smell the fragrance of life. Even if the fragrance was a forgotten pile of dog s-

“Alright,” The instructor for their culinary club started with a weird German accent that sounded really fake. “I am Herman. You can call me Chef or Chef Herman or just Chef. I will not bore you all with the boring introductions, and let's head right into the cooking, yes. On this paper here I made the partners for all of you to cook with for the rest of the year. If you have problem with it then quit.” 

This Herman guy seemed like quite the character, and was definitely not helping any of Duke’s previous anxieties. Many of Duke’s clubmates seem to think so too, sending their friends various looks. But no one spoke out, and instead shuffled to the front to look at the singular sheet of paper that would assign them their partners. Duke finally made it to the front and saw that he was paired with a Daniel Fenton at Station 7. 

Crossing his fingers that Daniel had at least only a half-rotten personality, Duke made his way over to station 7. The station was already prepped with an assortment of ingredients and cooking equipment. Duke had already set his stuff down claiming the seat closer to the exit (in case) when a lanky kid comes over, “Uh, your Duke Thomas?” He asks hesitantly looking back at the front counter the partner assignment sheet was. 

It took Duke an awkward second longer to realize that this kid was probably his partner. “Oh yeah I am.” He laughed apologetically, “You must be Daniel.” 

“Danny’s fine.” The boy smiled, absentmindedly brushing his messy black hair out of his face, his glacier blue looking at the equipment. Duke couldn’t help but feel like there was something off about Danny. Not in Gotham’s usual psycho-maniac-out-to-terrorizer-the-city-and-kill-innocent-people kind of off, more in a he’s not in sync with the rest of the world off. While Chef Herman explained the general structure of various types of kitchen and kitchen hierarchy that Duke was already familiar with, Duke tried to get a read on him. 

Weird did not mean threat, after all many of the Justice League- heck even the local Wayne/Batclan were pretty weird- and they (usually) didn’t mean any harm. It wouldn’t be fair of Duke to jump the horse like that. 

Deciding he should try to be friendly with him, Duke leaned over, “Is it just me or is Chef Herman’s accent totally fake?” he whispered. 

“Oh, Ancients,” Anciets? “I thought I was just going insane.” Danny sighed in relief with a small chuckle. There was a moment of silence between the two of them where no one said anything for longer than socially acceptable and Duke debated using his powers to see if he could find a clue or something. That seemed kinda invasive, though. 

When the Chef had started instructions on making today's recipe, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Danny helped Duke measure out the ingredients. “So,” Danny tried again, “What are you in for?” 

“What am I…” Duke repeated confused, 

Danny chuckled awkwardly, “Like why you joined the club.” 

Duke seriously needed to get his head in the present; this was getting embarrassing. “Oh.” He nodded in understanding, “I’ve always liked cooking,” Duke shrugged, “When I was little my parents and I would always cook together, and it was always one of my favorite things to do. And I’ve kinda always liked it, but I fell off of it for a while with school and stuff,” emphasis on the stuff “I thought joining a club could help me get back into it and get away from… everything.” That was a little more candid than Duke had planned on being with someone he had met quite literally a few minutes ago, but it felt good to have that out of his chest. The pleasant memories of his parents swimming in his mind. Mixing the dry ingredients, “Sorry that was kind of a lot.” Duke laughed genuinely this time. 

“Dude, no it’s actually so cool that you like to cook.” Danny said admiration was easy on his face, and Duke couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. 

“What about you, then?” 

“Ugh,” He groaned jokingly, “You can’t seriously be asking for my lame ass reason after you pulled out the flashbacks.” Danny whined, letting the oven preheat like Chef told them to. 

“C’mon, it’s only fair.” Duke played along, already ahead of the other groups. 

Danny sighed, “Promise you won’t laugh.” 

“Okay, it can’t be that bad.” Duke could already feel the smile cracking on his face. 

“It is.” Danny drawlled, “So I live in the dorms right, and I got to pull some strings and room with one of my friends from back home this year. And well, let’s just say my family has a bit of a reputation for causing problems, and the kitchen definitely wasn’t an exception. One time my dad tried to make some soup for my mom because she got sick.” Duke nodded approvingly, that was a sweet gesture, “It was all fun and games until the bomb squad had to show up and long story short we had to move.” 

“You’re joking.” Duke gaped at the bizarre story, but at Danny’s solemn expression, Duke couldn’t help but be appalled, “A bomb squad over soup.”

“My parents were never really heavy on lab safety,” Danny added, as if that explained everything, “But I burn one pot of water and maybe make a few extra-crispy eggs, and suddenly its all ‘Danny you’re not allowed in the kitchen unless you start taking actual classes’ and ‘Danny that's a biohazard’.” 

“You burned a pot of water.” Duke echoed, Danny nodded innocently, “Water doesn’t burn.”

“Well, maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.” Danny sneered, trying to crack an egg on the corner of the bowl only for all the shell to fall in the bowl and the yolk on the counter. 

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s true.” Duke said, taking the bowl from him and expertly cracking an egg single handedly. Danny looked on in awe. “You said you live in the dorms?” Duke asked easily. 

“Oh yeah, all of the non-local scholarship kids have to.” 

Before Duke could respond, a girl from the station in front of them whips her head around, “You said you’re here on a scholarship?” She asked almost oppressively. 

Danny just as taken aback as Duke felt, “Uh, yeah.” 

“Me, too. Have you heard anything about the Mentorship Program here? Apparently we all have to join.” The girl’s partner was looking between Duke and Danny confused, but returned to their cooking uninterested. 

“Oh, yeah. They make us all join.” Danny nodded. 

“I heard from some of the older kids, that no one actually gets picked for that. It’s just like a weird formality thing.” The girl spoke animatedly, “What department are you in?” 

“Applied physics and engineering design.” The oven beeps that it was ready but no one moved. 

The girl seemed to deflate that answer, “Oh, I’m doing culinary science.” And with that solid conclusionary statement, she turned around and got back to her work station. 

Danny blinked, processing what just happened and slowly turning to look at Duke for proof that just happened. But the second the both of them met each other’s eyes, they burst into a fit of silent laughter. 

Bent vunuralably over the table, trying to catch their breath, they were accosted by Chef Hermon. “The two of you are having a comedy club, not a cooking club.” Chef crossed his arms at the edge of the table. Duke was pretty sure he was trying to sold them, but the fake accent was making it hard to tell. 

Danny cleared his throat and striated up, “Sorry, Sir.” He apologized quickly. 

“Chef.” Hermon peered at them, his hat looking comically large and lopsided on his head now that Duke was getting a closer look. 

“Sorry, Chef.” Duke amended, trying to keep his cool. 

“Yes, finish cooking your cookies.” He nodded satisfied, leaving their station. 

“Okay so,” Duke tried to recount what the last thing they did was, but one look at Danny trying desperately to hold in his laugh had ruined all of Duke’s efforts as well. Barely managing to get their cookies in the oven, over Chef’s fake german accent and floppy oversized chef’s hat. 

“So scholarship for applied physics and engineering design, huh.” Duke recounted from earlier, impressed. 

“Yeah…” Danny trailed off embarrassed, “It sounds kinda snotty.” 

“Dude. That’s literally one of the hardest departments to get into, and the scholarship is no sneeze either. There’s no doubt you worked your butt off to get that.” Duke assured Danny as they sat in their stools waiting for the cookies to finish. 

“Thanks,” Danny smiled sheepishly. They sat in a much more comfortable silence now before Danny spoke again, “What grade are you in by the way?” 

“I’m in 10th. General studies for now, but I was thinking of doing medicine. You?” 

“I could totally see you as a hot-shot doctor.” Danny nodded approvingly, “11th. Technically, I’m your upperclassman then.” 

“Technically?” Duke asked.

“I mean, how old are you?” 

“15.” Duke supplied confused. 

“Me too. I skipped a grade in elementary school, so we’re actually the same age.” Danny explained, sheepishly. 

“Dude, you're actually way smart.” Duke gaped in awe. 

“Hey medicine isn’t a day walk either.” Danny nudged his arm playfully, “I’m glad the mentorship thing is just for show, though. Now that we’re upperclassmen, y’know. I would not want my hands full with some random rich kid.” 

Duke laughed, “Yeah, that definitely sounds like a lot of work.” 

Easily unfolding the conversation into various topics and interests Duke found that he didn’t mind that the cookies were burnt. Or that Danny was definitely weird. But in a good way. Duke was glad they met and would get to hang out and cook with their weird not-German Chef every week. And if Danny and Duke exchanged numbers and planned to hangout outside of club activities, then well who was going to stop them.

[undermine-the-instinct]

Imagine being Guzi's mom when you and your husband are taken by Qi Rong's lackeys, and when you're finally reunited with your baby boy your husband is acting...odd. And he continues to act odd. First off, you're surprised he even still has Guzi, much less has been taking care of him. Sorta. You thought he would've abandoned him ages ago. More so surprised that he's dragging the both of you along, instead of disapearing for days or weeks on end as he does.

His gambling buddies have been replaced with all manner of ghouls and the like, and you fear that finally, finally, he's done the one thing you fear most and sold you two to pay his debts. But it never happens. Yeah he still gripes and bitches the same but atleast he flings words instead of plates. He still hogs all the blankets and most of the food but atleast you and Guzi get a share now.

He still cusses the same and he's a little more...theatrical, about how no one appreciates him and how even the Gods and the Calamaties will one day lick his boots (HUA CHENGZHU??? The Lord of Ghost city and Calamity Supreme??? And who the hell is this Dog fucker Xie Lian guy?? Someone he lost a bet to or something??).

And like...so what that he now deals with ghosts and ghouls?? And that he can suddenly create green flames and the weird spells and stuff...? You know he's always been...odd , thats why you fell for him in the first place! And there seems to be no trouble! Look, he's even somewhat, kinda interacting with his son now instead of ignoring or yelling at you both like he used to----Yeah no he's munching on a human arm WHAT THE FUCKKK