#he's either a) not realized it was a party invite or b) has not actively wanted to go to it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moondustis · 5 years ago

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tangerine blossoms (m)

pairing: min yoongi + reader genre: 19th century!au, vampire!au, fluff, smut wc: 12k | content warning: mentions of blood and death. loss of virginity. summary: “You catch him watching you, of course you do, a smile gracing your lips and he figures this is the agony all the poets had wrote about.” song rec: softly by clairo

WINTER

You heard about Min Yoongi before you actually met him.

The town you lived in was small. So small that news spread like fire and just after two days of the death of Mr. Min, a noble man that lived on the big mansion near the lake, everyone already knew of the latest gossip. Mr. Min never married, and therefore never had children, so the only person that could take care of his house and business was a nephew that lived far away somewhere cold. And that’s just the top of the whole story, there was multiple speculations underneath that, but you usually preffered to stay out of too raunchy conversations.

To make matters even more unusual, to say so, the Jungs, another one of the rich families, were going to throw a ball to welcome the newcomer. A ball, just the mere mention of that was enough to make anyone shriek with excitement because, well, that didn’t happen very often. It was a small town, like you had mentioned, nothing even too scandalous or exciting ever happened in rural areas.

But that was about to change.

You can barely breath in the dress you’re wearing, something old and simple your mother had found but still managed to tie the corset as tight as possible. To entice a possible husband, she had said. It seemed that these days the fact you, the only girl out of three sons, still being unmarried was plaguing her profoundly.

The ball was what you think a ball is supposed to be. There’s music and many people dancing around, while others stay in the corners gossiping about who will dance with who. You’re closest to the latter, since you never had the opportunity to attend one of these and the only time you had danced was when your friend, Wendy, wanted to practice in case the opportunity ever came. One of your brothers had promised to teach you, but that was before he had to go away to fight a war he didn’t care about.

This was the opportunity to dance, probably the only one you’d have in awhile, but still the both of you stay glued to a corner. People watching, is what you liked to call it. “Bit boring, don’t you think?” You say over the loud music and cheers.

“Yes. But we can always dance, can’t we?” She replies, raising one eyebrow at you as your lips falter in an attempt to laugh.

“Together? That would be quite a sight.” It would and people would talk about it for days until you couldn’t stand it anymore. But you wanted to, so desperately. It seemed like that was the only way to have a little fun on these.

“It’s not like any gentleman will ask us, anyway.” That makes you scoff, because it was true. It wasn’t that the two of you were unattractive, you both had your pleasant features. It was more due to the fact that you were poor, and the other girls, well, they had gone all out to buy expensive dresses and jewellery for this occasion. And most of them were married already, but you? You had better things to think about, other than giving your freedom to a man that would never understand that you dreamed of things bigger than this.

“Have you seen what Mrs. Jung is wearing? I’ve never seen a dress so pink in my entire life.” Wendy changes the subject, and you focus your vision on Mrs. Jung, an old lady that once wanted you to marry her son, until she realized you had no interest in sewing.

“I think she forgets she’s almost sixty sometimes.” That earns a loud laugh from her and a few mean glances from people near you.

Another song begins, probably the sixth so far and you wonder where the main attraction of the party was. Everyone had been beyond excited to see how the young Min looked and how they could get close to him, to benefit from the house his uncle had left behind. You were curious too, had wondered briefly what kind of person he would be, hoping that it was better than his relatives. The late Mr. Min was as much unpleasant, as he was full of himself.

It isn’t until Wendy nudges you harshly that you snap out of your thoughts. “He’s here.” She whispers and your head immediately shoots up, straight to the point everyone seems to be staring at.

A man, with slightly pale skin and dark hair walks inside wearing black velvet that stands out from how detailed it is. He has sharp eyes but his skin is soft and when he grins at something the tall man next to him whispers in his ear, you can see the faint glimpse of a gummy smile. He’s beautiful, enough to make the other men in the room jealous and the women regret their marriage choice.

You gape until your eyes are met with the last sight you would wish to see, your mother and father making their way to the man with suspicious smiles on their faces. You watch as the man greets them with a curious look on his face and that’s enough for you to almost run to their encounter, in hopes to prevent tragic events from happening. Your mother was known for having a mouth bigger than she could handle.

“Oh! Mr. Min,” She exclaims when she sees you and that is not a good sign. “This is the daughter I was telling you about, ____. The only girl out of 3 boys and she is yet to be married. Would you believe that?”

“Mother!” You are sure you are either pale or red from embarrassment but if the conversation is bothering him, he doesn't show it. Instead there's amusement on his face as he looks at you.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss ___” He says, bowing and the only thing you can think about as you bow back is that his voice sounds like honey.

Your mother continues talking, ignoring any signs that this is far from what to say to a stranger about your daughter. “I suppose it is because she has taken a liking to reading more than to learn how to cook and sew.”

“Mother!” You can’t help but groan, hiding your face as the man accompanying Mr. Min chuckles lightly.

“Well I come to think reading is a very enriching activity. In fact my uncle happens to have a big library in his house that I look forward to explore.” His eyes don’t leave you as he says that, not even when your father speaks for the first time since your arrival.

“We are well very aware. ______ has plagued us by talking about how she dreams of having a library like that one day.”

That makes him smile lightly as he directs his next words at you. “Perhaps you could come by someday then, Miss ___.”

“Oh my, really!?” Your own voice betrays you with how loud it gets, but there’s no hiding your excitement at the mere thought of visiting the library you had only heard about. People would say that he had over a thousand books and also kept paintings in there. Your father’s words were true, you had dreamed about it once or twice. “But wouldn’t it be a bother? I would hate to intrude, you don’t have invite me just to be nice.”

Your nervous blabbering seems to amuse him even further and soon he’s shaking his head. “Not at all, just drop by anytime and you can spend as much time there as you want.”

You contain yourself from shrieking, just thanking him as much as you can before he has to move to speak to other people.

✹

Your hands are slightly shaking under your gloves as you knock on the huge door to the Min house. You had only passed by it a couple of times before, and heard as people went on about how big it was but still, nothing could’ve prepared you for how it looked up close. It could be a palace for all you knew, with the big pillars and complicated wood work.

You stare at with awe as you wait for the door to open and when it does an man with a warm smile greets you. “Good morning, Miss ___.” He says with a cheerful voice and his use of your name makes you remember that he’s the same man that accompanied Mr. Min to the ball a week ago.

“Hello.” You reply as cheerfully as him before you’re bowing and extending the basket filled with biscuits your mother had sent you out of the house with. “I brought some biscuits.”

As if possible, his smile grows even bigger as he takes the gift from your hands and gestures you in. “How sweet of you, I’m sure Yoongi will like them very much with some tea.” He says guiding you inside the house, that somehow looks even bigger and prettier from the inside with fancy furnitures and paintings covering the walls. “I’ll take you to the library, shall we?”

Hoseok guides you inside the house slowly, as if he knew you wanted time to stare at all the beautiful paintings on the way, until he stops and you’re standing outside closed marble doors. “Here we are.” He opens the door for you, letting you inside. “I’m Jung Hoseok, by the way, Mr. Min’s caretaker. Feel free to call for me if you need anything.”

Before you can even laugh at his joke, or thank him for the kindness, the words escape your mouth as you stare with eyes shining at the library you had only dreamt about until now. It’s huge, with big windows and a balcony door letting the light in on the velvet furniture, making it even more beautiful. The walls are filled with paintings just like the other parts of the house and for you immense pleasure, there are rows and rows filled with so many books that never in your lifetime you would be able to finish reading them all.

You are so entranced by the sight in front of you, mouth gaping and eyes roaming, that you don’t even hear him coming in until his voice fills the room. “Is it what you imagined, Miss ___?”

“Mr. Min!” You turn back, startled by his sudden appearance, but quickly bowing to him. “I have no words to thank you, it is more than I could ever imagine.”

He chuckles at your excitement, passing around and you follow him like a child. “You haven’t even read any books yet, there’s nothing to thank me for.”

To be fairly honest you hadn’t expected him to be joining you on your visits, and certainly not being so relaxed and kind. After the ball, people had started making assumptions of what kind of person he was, based on their small interactions with him and it was mostly unpleasant things. They had said that he was a reserved man, cold and strict but so far he seemed to be far from these things, just a little intimidating.

“I’m sure it won’t be hard to find something to read in here.” You reply, smiling genuinely at him. “I wasn’t even aware that so many books existed.”

He laughs again and you decide it is a sound you wouldn’t mind hearing often. “Yes, my uncle was quite fond of his collections.” He enters a section, you following right behind, eyeing his back as he let his fingers dance on the shelved books. “It’s the most prized thing he has left for me.”

You feel a sudden warmth at your heart, knowing that he was letting you in on a place that he seemed to enjoy very much. You also feel extreme excitement knowing that he shares the same passion as you. “I’m truly honored to be here, Mr. Min. Thank you again, for inviting me.”

He turns to you, nodding with a smile on his lip. “Of course. How could I’ve not invited you when your mother said this is the only activity you’re interested on.”

A blush paints your cheeks, eyes going down bashfully as you remembered his interaction with your mother. “I am interested in other things, my mother just likes a little drama.” You defend yourself, basking on the sound of his chuckle. “But reading is my passion, I’m hoping to become an author someday.”

Of the wildest dream you could have for your future, writing had been it from a very young age. You remember picking up the first book you ever read and feeling like there was nothing that could stop you from chasing your wishes, and that, for a girl living in a small village in a small house and sharing a room with three older brothers, meant everything.

“Oh, a writer.” He sounds sincerely surprised. “What do you wish to write about?”

You shake a bit in excitement at the opportunity to talk about your dream. No one that knew about it bothered to ask you about your interests, they all said it was rather silly for you to want to have a career and that you should just focus on getting a husband first and foremost. A stupid thing to think about. “I want to write about normal things, normal people. Like the baker that’s raising his son alone and my brother who had to leave his dream of becoming a teacher behind to fight the war.” You say, voice bright as he listens attentively. “I think every person deserves to have their story told, no matter how insignificant they think it is.”

“That’s very noble of you.” He says genuinely, making you smile. “I would love to read something by you someday.”

And that’s enough to have you smiling like a fool for the rest of the morning, as he shares his favorite books with you and you tell him the many reasons why you had loved Portrait of a Lady so much. Hoseok even comes by after some time with tea and biscuits you had brought, and you’re so excited that you don’t realize that Yoongi doesn't really eat them.

It’s a lovely day, so lovely that you’re there the next day too, and the next. After the first visit, it is like you’re at the Min household all of the time, because even if Mr. Min had said you could borrow the books and take them home with you, he had also said that you could come by anytime you wanted to read in the library. And why would you stay at home, with your mother pestering you about chores when you could be surrounded by books and in the presence of someone so kind.

A nice routine settles easily, you’ll come around in the early morning and Hoseok, Yoongi’s caregiver as he would call himself, will greet you at the door with a smile and an offer for tea and biscuits, which you always accept. Then you’ll go to the library, pick a book and stay there as long as you can handle before you have to at home for lunch.

Most of the times, Mr. Min will accompany you, with a book and teacup of his own. Hoseok too joins in sometimes but it’s usually just you and Yoongi, sitting across from each other on the twin dark green couches that are placed on the middle of he room.

Some days, it’s a bit unsettling because he will look more serious, intimidating even, with his dark gowns and few words, but it only takes you awhile to realize that on these days he’ll start talking if you are the one that starts it, and you have no problem in doing so. You talk and talk about anything and he indulges you with witty comments and not very often laughs.

It’s pleasant to find out about the place he used to live in before and about his family, and that the both of you have more in common than you would ever think. He’s gentle, funny in a way that sometimes takes you a moment to understand, and caring, always offering you more tea and asking if you would like that he shut the windows closed because of the cold.

And the thing you liked the most, is that he treats you like a person. Most of the man you had met before had treated you like you were either not worth their time or as if you were a mere consumption item that had to come with the right assets. No, Min Yoongi treated you like a woman that had other interests than dresses and dancing, even though you still enjoyed both of those things. He asked you difficult questions and discussed the books he was reading with you, actually listening to what you had to say.

And perhaps that’s what makes you heart beat a little faster out of the sudden on a particular morning, when his fingers accidentally brush yours when he passes you the teacup. Or perhaps is the way you can feel him sneaking glances at you when you are not doing the same to him. But whatever it is, it had unleashed the butterflies on your stomach and now they were at his mercy, going absolutely feral when he would catch you staring and your eyes would meet for only a fracture of time, before he would clear his throat and go back to his book.

Hoseok catches on that quickly and he stops joining the two of you less and less. And sometimes you will even sit on the same couch, reading quietly and stealing bolder glances but that is all. It never moves past that and the butterflies are impatient, but there’s nothing you can do but wait.

SPRING

The beginning of spring brings with itself beautiful flowers and the sun shining brightly on the sky. Your clothing quickly become unbearable and most of the days you have to opt for flowy dresses instead of the usuals with thick fabrics.

With the weather getting warmer and warmer it also becomes unbearable to stay inside the house, or even worse at Yoongi’s library, so when you visit, he accompanies you to his garden for a walk or to read near the lake. It would be a waste not to do so anyway, because it’s a beautiful garden, had been since his uncle was alive and Yoongi made sure that it stayed that way. With beautiful plants and flowers, and trees filled with fruits.

You both walk side by side until your eyes find a tree filled with orange colored fruits and beautiful white flowers. “Are those tangerines?” You ask with excitement, practically running to the tree.

“Yes, they are.” His voice is amused as you cheer while collecting a few flowers and arranging them in your hair, turning for a second just to gift him with one as well. He takes it with a shake of his head, finding the act extremely silly.

“Oh wow!” You pick one that looks good enough to eat, running your fingers through the skin as memories fill your mind. When you were a child you would go to your grandparents farm with your brothers and they would always help you pick the best tangerines out of the tree. “It has been awhile since I had one.”

You peel it quickly as Yoongi places down the towel you had brought on the grass and sits down, book already on his hand. You sit down by his side, a piece of the fruit already on your fingers and you just plop it into your mouth after he denies it when you offer to him.

The taste is so pleasant that you can’t help but hum, eyes closing momentarily, not even noticing that a bit of the juice had began running down your hands. But Yoongi does, his eyes not leaving you and soon he’s reprimanding you. “You'll ruin your dress.” He scolds, your eyes snapping open as you finish chewing. “Sometimes I wonder if you truly have no manners or if you have just become too comfortable around me.”

You scoff. He’s great at overreacting because you had barely done anything. “I’m very well mannered, Mr. Min.” You say, plopping another piece of the fruit in your mouth as you rest relaxed on your elbows. Besides, must I always be ladylike? Even when I’m eating fruit?”

“I’ve told you to call me by my name already.” He breathes out, clearly entertained by your words. He always seemed to be with the things you said. “And I suppose not. But you that men like when women are ladylike.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Men are futile creatures, don’t you think? All they can think about is if a girl is pretty enough and has good manners.” All men but one your mind provides and you have to bite the words you want to say. “I couldn’t care less about that.”

He knows that very well. Has heard your complaints about how you couldn’t possibly think of marriage when every man that appeared in front of you is as shallow as they all seemed to think women were. “You have a fair point. But I’m sure you’ll find one that doesn’t care about your messy behaviour.” You scoff again and he opens his book then, flipping the pages with furrowed brows until he finds the one he stopped on.

“Wouldn’t you say I already have?” You eye him, tangerine juice on your lips and the sun hot on your face. He always looks paler on the sun, his dark eyes shining slightly, making for a breathtaking view that makes you bold and shy at the same time. Your words make him remove his eyes from the book to stare at you with raised eyebrows. He knows what you meant, always does when you let go of your inhibition for a little.

But if he has something to say, he chooses not to. The silence that follows is filled with the sounds of birds chirping and your chewing before you have had enough and decide to speak again.

“My mom used to make tangerine marmalade for us when we were kids. Have you ever tried it?” He doesn't remove his eyes from the book this time and it annoys you profoundly.

“No. The taste of it is not very pleasing to me.” He replies shortly, your eyes stay glued to him.

“I see. I was thinking of bringing some home with me to make it for you, but I guess I’ll have to find something else now.” It’s a lie because you weren't really thinking of anything, just wanted something to talk about and he sure knows that as well.

“I thought you didn't know how to cook.” He looks at you for a second as you gasp at his comment. It was true, sure, but he didn't have to throw it in your face like that.

“I am learning.” You defend yourself. “Mother is trying to teach me how to make apple pies, but she always gets frustrated halfway through it and just ends up doing it herself.”

That makes him laugh and even though it’s teasing you, you are glad you got to hear the sound of it at least once today. “You can bring me a pie when you learn how to make it. I’ll eat it then.”

You accept his challenge with a shake of your hands that leaves the place he touched tingling and you ignore the feeling by starting to peel another tangerine. The rest of the day is spent in mostly silence as he reads his book and you lay around letting the sun get you tired enough so that you are numb to your own lingering feelings.

✹

Yoongi thinks he’ll go crazy very soon. There are quite some words he would use to describe you, beautiful, soft, kind, smart, but right now the only one that crosses his mind is tempting. You’re wearing a white dress that makes you look angelic, even more so with the flowers you had placed on your hair and the sun makes you practically shine.

He enjoys watching you eat the most, as strange as it sounds, trying not to make it obvious, he sneaks glances from behind his books as you eat the tangerines in a way that makes him dizzy, with how the juice of it wets your lips and fingers and you moan around it as if it’s the most delicious thing you had ever ate. It sounds sinful and he wishes he could touch you, wants to so desperately that he is sure he will go absolutely insane.

You catch him watching you, of course you do, a bashful smile gracing your lips and he figures this is the agony all the poets had wrote about. The heart wants what it wants, isn’t that what they all say? And his yearns for the only thing he has ever wanted like this this, like he’s burning from inside.

✹

The rumors start a few months after Mr. Min has settled in. It’s a mere act of jealousy, you think, that people can’t live in the luxurious house he has and that he won’t bother with pleasantries towards people that want to know only about his money. It starts as merely calling him conceited, for not inviting anyone to visit and for not coming to the village very often. You wonder what people would say if they knew you are at his house almost as much as you are at yours. Probably that you were unworthy or that you were trying to milk him out of his money.

Then it becomes something more. You see, there’s not much to do in a rural area and that gives people the time to get creative with their gossip. So Min Yoongi goes from a conceited bastard to a creature in few talks. They say that he won’t leave the house because it will burn his skin, that’s why he’s so pale and that he feeds from the servants he brought from the north. They call him every synonym of monster they can think of and it’s stupid, that’s what you think. You had seen him outside on the sun and nothing had happened and if he fed from blood then why didn’t he do it to you? There was nothing about him that made you feel unsafe. Im fact, his company was more pleasant than anyones else in your opinion.

But your mother, of course seemed to think otherwise. She would go on and on about how you were putting yourself in danger and you shouldn't trust that awful man. It’s outrageous in your opinion, how she was so quick to turn her back on him when he was nothing but nice to your family.

It’s all very stupid and it won't stop you from visiting him, because it also worries you profoundly that he was ever to suffer any harm because of this.

“I brought you a pie.” You say, gesturing to it when Yoongi opens the door after you had almost aggressively knocked on it. You were just desperate to see him, is all, after a few days of not being able to because of your mother and father’s unwillingness.

He looks surprised but as sharp as ever. “You came in early today.” You did, being home was making you fidgety and you had an urge to see him after all that was happening.

“I’m sorry. I just didn't want the pie to go cold.” It's a half lie. The pie would have gone cold if you had waited more, but that was the last of your worries.

“It's fine. It's a very pleasant surprise, you haven’t been here in a couple days.” That’s all he says on the matter, gesturing for you to come inside and you do. “Did your mother make it?”

“No, I did.” You had stayed up all night in order to make it perfect on your second try. The first didn’t cook correctly.

He has the nerve to laugh at that as he walks you both to the kitchen. “Don’t lie.”

A gasp falls out of your lips, a hand going to your heart. “I did! I followed through with her recipe.” You defend yourself, amusing him further. “Can't assure you it's good, but at least I tried.”

“Well, I'm very flattered.” His voice is genuine as you watch him place the pie on the small kitchen table, sitting down while he grabs the utensils to eat it. “I’ll make us some tea to go with it.”

It’s mostly silent while he heats the water to get the tea ready and it makes you wish Hoseok was here, he would certainly save you from the questions of what you had been up to and the lies you have to come up with for not having visited.

When the tea is ready he sits in front of you, pouring the tea as you cut a slice for him and place it on his plate only. “Are you not going to eat?” He says, raising one eyebrow because he had come to realize you were a huge sweets fan.

You shake your head. “No. I made it just for you. And Hoseok, of course.”

He chuckles at that and you finally get to watch him finally eat a bite of it. You realize it’s the first time you had seen Yoongi eat all of this time, he hums around the pie, chewing slowly before he finally speaks. “This is very good, you did a good job.”

The praise makes you smile widely, cheeks flushing. “I did?”

“Yes, can add that to the list of your accomplishments.” He smiles back and you’re glad to be here after the days of not coming.

The conversation progresses as you sip on your tea and he eats small bites of the pie, asking you about the book you had been reading until you can’t take it anymore and the reason why you had come slips from your mouth.

“Have you — Would you like to visit the city with me?” It’s sudden and it makes him look at you a little weirdly, a tilt to his head.

“Why? Is being here not enough entertainment? We have the garden and the library.”

“Yes, but people have been talki-“

He lets out a loud sigh, interrupting you “I don't care what people have to say and you shouldn't either.”

“I don't!” You say because you really don't, but you can’t stand the words that have been said about him. “But they are saying awful things about you and-“

“What is it? What are they saying?” He urges you to just spill it already.

“They are saying you won't come to the city because you are not human.” You mutter, avoiding his eyes by focusing on swirling your spoon on the cup.

He scoffs, sounding just a bit nervous. “That makes no sense. You know I'm human.”

You laugh a little at the silliness of his statement. “I do, but they don't.”

It only takes a few puppy looks from you before he’s muttering “If it’s worrying you to this extent then I guess we could go for a walk.” He says and you bright up at that, clapping as you get up from the table and he follows you. In your excitement, you don’t realize he has left more than half of the pie uneaten.

It turns out that your idea had been awful. The appearance of Min Yoongi on the village does

the exact contrary of what you thought it would and as you two walk around, you pointing to the stores you liked and to the things you would hope he would find amusing, people gather around and give the both of you ugly stares. Yoongi is better at ignoring it than you are, and he tries to distract you as much as possible, guiding you inside the bakery you had said you like and buying you pastries to lift your mood.

It’s only when you get home that you realize what you had done, as your mother tells you the neighbor had come over to gossip about how a young promising girl like you shouldn’t be with a man like that and how he had probably cursed you so you would be with him. You listen with tears in your eyes as your mother reprimands you and says all the most horrible things about Yoongi, things that you know are not true.

SUMMER

Weeks go by until you’re able to see him again. Your mother insists you don’t, but you think you would die from the constant sadness that haunts you from how much you miss him.

It’s when he sends you a gift on your birthday that you can’t endure not seeing him anymore. The writing machine had been accompanied by the pastries you like so dearly and a letter with a simple birthday wish and the hope that you could see each other soon.

You rush out of the house the next day, your heart beating like a young girl that was finally going to be able to see the boy she fancied. Your light dress and the bow tying your hair fly behind you as you practically leap to the Min household.

It’s with flushed cheeks and a silly small that he finds you as he opens the door. “____!” He exhales, sounding almost relieved to see you.

You can’t think properly, throwing yourself into his arms as you hug him tightly. “Oh, Yoongi.” You voice is filled with emotion. “Thank you so much.”

It’s a second before he’s hugging you back, hands twitching as they move to your back. He smells lovely and you are not sure if the warmth you feel is from running on the heat or from his body.

He separates from you with a chuckle. “I’m guessing you had a good birthday.”

“Yes, because of you!” It had been a miserable one, your mother forgetting all about it and without any of your brothers there to wake you up with hugs. You felt sorry for yourself until you received his gift. One that couldn’t be more meaningful. “I can’t thank you enough. It must have been so expensive, I don’t deserve such kindness.”

He scoffs. “You deserve much more than that.” You take his hand as he extends it and guides you inside the house. Your palm tingles where it’s connected with his. “Now let’s go, the library has missed you.”

It’s a good feeling, being in the library with him again. You had talked and talked about anything that came to mind as he listened attentively before he was the one doing the talking, about how he had finished reading your favorite book. You shared your thoughts about it and you could almost beam on how content you felt.

After some time he decides to sit by the piano, as you continue on the sofa watching as he plays a few notes before settling on a soothing melody. You decide then to speak the words you had been keeping to yourself, too afraid to speak them. “Nakamoto Yuta has asked for my hand.” You merely whisper, the melody suddenly stopping as he looks at you.

His mouths opens and closes as he tries to find a good thing to say. “I — And will you accept it?” Is what he decides on. There’s uncertainty on his voice and that gives you the tiniest amount of hope.

You shrug. “Perhaps.” He must know that you wish you wouldn’t have to. “Well my mother sure hopes I do.”

There’s a moment of silence, a page of the book you had been reading flipping from the wind coming inside but you pay it no mind. Your eyes stayed glued to his face, how he stares at the piano keys with what you think is confusion on his eyes. “What does he have to offer you?” He asks suddenly.

A lot, if you thought about it. He was known to be from a very rich family, and nothing too unpleasant had been said about him to you. Besides that, you would finally be able to leave your parents house and have an illusion of freedom. “He’s a very wealthy man.” Are the words you decide on.

He raises one eyebrow, head shooting up to look at you again “And?”

“Well, I've never met him but people do say he's quite charming.”

“And is that what you wish for? To be married to a man that you've never met before?” You’re the one avoiding his eyes now, the questions making you nervous as if you were being tested.

“It sounds to me that you don't want me to marry him.” You speak in a small voice. He’s speaking as if he doesn't know exactly what you want.

“That is not my choice to make.” He says with a breathy nervous chuckle and it annoys you slightly, because in the end it was. You felt like each day you were waiting for him to finally do it, and as close as it fell now it was shattering.

“But you sure are opinionated on the matter.” Your voice is bitter as you give him a pointed look.

“I am merely advising you.” He defends himself and you huff, rolling your eyes

“I do have to marry someone one day, you know?”

“Yes, you like to remind me quite a lot of that fact.” His voice is almost bitter and it would annoy you even further even it didn’t make you feel slightly bad for all the teasing you had done in the past.

It’s another minute of silence until he starts playing again, the same melody and the butterflies on your stomach urge you to do something, so you get up from the couch, walking slowly until you’re standing in front of the piano. You watch him play quietly, his fingers moving with expert and ease, eyebrows furrowed as he concentrates.

He so looks beautiful it makes you want to cry. He’s wearing a simple white shirt, that makes him look almost angelic, and you think you could stay here all day staring at him.

“I would say yes, you know?” You whisper when the song is over, the words just escaping your mouth because you want him to know.

“To what?”

“If you ever proposed to me.” And then he’s looking at you, a soft look on his eyes as he smiles sadly.

“You father would not like that very much.” Is his answer and you laugh lightly at the thought of him asking your father for your hand. He would be absolutely livid.

“He probably wouldn't. But he would come to peace with it eventually.” You like to think so at least.

“I wouldn't.” His voice is a whisper that you can’t quite understand because Hoseok choses that moment to come barging inside the room, interrupting the moment completely as you turn around to stare at him with a shocked expression.

“____.” He exclaims, eyes going wide in surprise to see you after such a long time. “What a pleasure to see you again.” He turns to Yoongi then, a sorry look on his face. “I apologize for interrupting, but I need your assistance with something.”

You feel extremely sad when Yoongi nods, muttering a quick apology to you as he gets up and follows Hoseok to whatever is that he needed. Whatever he had said, it sounded like it would be important and your mind tries to come up with what it could’ve been.

You stay in the library for another hour before you finally leave.

✹

Yoongi is not very good with feelings, the ability of dealing with that had probably gone away alongside his humanity. That considered, the strange and constant reminder of your absence on the back of his head bothers him profoundly, because he misses you. He’s not stubborn enough to not be able to admit that, because he yearns for your presence, your laugh and even the nonsense you speak sometimes.

It’s been a week since your last visit, one that ended too bitterly, and he was dead already, but why did it feel like he would die without you?

Hosek catches on quickly to that, throwing knowing glances his way when he’s sulking around and even worst, speaking on the matter. “You've grown quite fond of her.” He says one day when they are both on Yoongi’s studies, checking finances.

“I have.” Is what Yoongi replies with because there was no point in lying to someone that knew you better than you knew yourself.

“Then why wont you ask for her hand? The poor girl will go crazy if you don't.” That’s the problem with Hoseok, he can’t keep his nose out of things because he cares too much. “She brings you food you don’t even eat, for god’s sake.”

Yoongi lets out a deep sigh. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation, not now that he’s absolutely going crazy without you. “You know why.”

Hoseok scoffs. “Please, she’s head over heels for you. I’m sure that would just be a detail.”

That makes him cringe because they both knew it was far from being a mere detail. The thirst that made his throat burn until he could sink his teeth on whatever animal Hoseok found, was enough proof. “I could hurt her.” He could. It was stupid to say but you were a mere fragile thing, a too giving one and it scared him that if he were ever to tell you the truth, you would just accept it and let him do as he pleased.

“You won't. You haven't hurt me all these years”

“It's different.” He says exasperated. He doesn’t desire Hoseok the way he desires you. Doesn’t think that anyone could smell as sweet as you and certainly doesn't think about sinking his fangs in anyone else but you when the night comes.

“Are you saying that after all these years you still have no self control?” Hoseok gives him a pointed look. “Does that even convince yourself?”

Yoongi lets the parchment he’s holding fall onto the desk, hands coming to his face as he groans. “Let’s say I marry her. And that I don't accidentally drink every single drop of blood on her body.” Just saying it makes him shake a little. She’ll get old and Ill stay the same. I'll watch our children grow old, while I stay the same.”

That’s the worst of all the thoughts that fill his mind. The one where he’ll have to watch you go and he’ll have to live forever with the memories plaguing his mind. It’s inevitable already because he don’t think he will ever be able to forget you now.

“So you're being selfish?” His friend deadpans. “You don't want to suffer the impending torture that is time, so you'll just go around and be miserable?”

“Yes, I’ve been doing that for years.” He wouldn’t say he knows loneliness because Hoseok had been with him for a while now, but he does know solitude, knows closing his walls down so no one can get in.

“Please, you're better than that.” Is the last thing Hoseok says and it leaves him wondering, because he’s sure he isn't, but not in the way he meant.

SUMMER

A summer rain was bound to happen sooner or later. It was light, but not enough that you could go outside, so you and Yoongi were stuck inside his library for the day, him sitting right across from you, a serious look on his face as he read the book of his choice and you pretended to read yours. The music he had put on to play was distracting and so was the intoxicating smell of tangerines that filled the room, coming from the tea Hoseok had prepared for the both of you, even if the weather didn’t really ask for it.

These were the moments you dreaded the most, when it was silent. With your never ending chattering and Yoongi’s gentle way of urging you to talk more, there were no time for your mind to wander with what it wanted. But now, as the only sounds that fills the room being the slow song he had chosen, rain outside and the occasional clink of his teacup, your eyes keep going to him as your heart feels like it will jump out of your body any minute now.

“Are you enjoying your book?” His voice startles you, making your cheeks heat from being caught sneaking glances at him. But still, he doesn’t take his eyes from his book as he asks and it makes you fidget in your seat.

“N-not really.” There was no point in lying, was it? He would see right through it anyway like he always did. “It’s a bit lacking… in passion.”

He raises one eyebrow at that. “Is it now?” You just shrug, moving to get your own teacup so you can sip at it instead of actually replying to the question. It had gone cold from waiting too long and you grimace from the unpleasant taste as Yoongi continues reading his book. The Portrait of a Lady, that you had mentioned the first time you came over and the mere thought of him remembering it, and reading your favorite book was enough to have you suddenly getting up from the couch.

“Have you ever danced, Yoongi?” The change of subject and suddenness of your question and movement makes him finally look at you. You must sound crazy but there’s something making you antsy, maybe the rain, maybe the need to be acknowledged.

He uncrosses his legs, one eyebrow raising curiously at you. “I have, a long time ago. Why?”

You press your lips together, pacing around while you try to decide what exactly it is that you want so desperately. “Was just wondering. Since you enjoy music so much, I thought you would probably enjoy dancing as well.”

That doesn't seem to be invitation enough for him, but still he closes his book, attention fully on you now. “No, it’s not something I enjoy very much.” He says flatly.

It’s a second before the words come out of your mouth in a rush. “Would you teach me?”

He looks genuinely surprised by the request, narrowing his eyes at you, but even though there’s a hint of wariness in his voice, you know he won’t deny you. He never has, every wish you throw his way he provides, and this fact would be almost unsettling if it wasn’t so heart warming. “I could.” His voice is tentative and your heart beat increases in a weird way because of the way he eyes you, as he closes the book and places it slowly on the couch. “Have you never danced before?”

It feels like centuries before he’s standing up and coming slowly to stand as close to you as he can be. You wipe your hands on the sides of your dress, an action that he probably thinks as unladylike, but the tense atmosphere in the room won’t let him say anything about it. “I-I have, with a friend but it was mostly as a joke.” You stutter from the sudden nervousness. It was unlike you to be nervous around anyone, even more around someone that you had grown so comfortable with, but the feelings you hold so close to your heart won't you let you stay still, not when the receiver of said feeling takes a hold of your arm and gently places it on his shoulder.

You take a deep breath, hand probably gripping harder at it than necessary. This is the most you had ever touch each other and the most you had ever been touched by a man, and it’s enough for the butterflies on your stomach to lose their minds. Next, he’s holding your hand in a soft grip and raising it so they stay connected at your sides as he places his other hand by your waist in a tentative hold.

You don’t even notice when he starts swaying in beat with the slow song, guiding you back and forth in the middle of room. His eyes stay glued at you and in an almost hypnotizing way you can’t look away either, letting your body be guided in the gentle motions as the only sounds that fill the room are from the rain and the soft melodies. You watch as he blinks, eyebrows soft and eyes swaying with emotions that you wish to understand profoundly.

It’s far from the dances you had seen on the ball you attended, there’s no intricate moves or spinning around, it’s just the two of you lightly swaying around and holding each other. It’s a sacred moment, you think to yourself, a moment of intimacy that speaks more than anything and for a second you wonder if he knows your affections for him run deeper than the snark comments and teasing.

Suddenly the mere thought of him not knowing how deeply you adore him sends your brain in a frenzy and you have to press yourself closer, your chests touching and your lips almost there. It’s the wrong move to make because his breath hitches and he slowly stops his movements. You part your lips in attempt to apologize but he beats you to it, with a furrow in his eyebrows and an almost pained expression. “Please don’t tempt me.” His voice barely a whisper.

He makes it sound like it you’re doing something wrong and you mirror the furrow on his eyebrows. “I - I don’t understand.” You are practically gaping at him. “It’s been a year, how long must I wait?” You feel like you have waited enough, have let the feelings blossom enough that now they’re ready to be out and about.

“I can't do what you want me to do.” He says and the words feel like a punch to your gut and you suddenly push him away, your arms falling to your side. You look at him with deep confusion in your eyes as your minds goes crazy with thoughts of how you thought his vocal indifference and denial towards marrying you was merely an act, since his action proved the contrary.

“But — I-I have denied proposals for you — because of you.” You stumble around the words, looking around as if the answer to your agony would be anywhere but in the man in front of you.

He sighs exasperatedly, pinching the tip of his voice “I have not given you false hope.” Lies, he’s a liar, that’s what he is. He has given you all the hope he could possibly have, the stares, the gifts, the gentleness of his words.

“Yes you have.” You accuse, voice high and full of emotion. “Will you say that all this time we were merely building a friendship? There's no such a thing as being friends when you look at me the way you do.”

He squints his eyes, starting pacing around like he wants to run away. “And how is that?” How do I look at you?”

“Like…like you’re longing for something.”

“If I am, I’m longing for something that I can't have.” He exclaims, voice going as high as yours but much more pained.

“But you can!”

Your eyes have started to sting and you feel stupid, for crying and for believing him. He stops pacing and moves to stand in front of you again, arms on his front like he’s trying to shield himself from you. “I can’t, ___. Please don't make this harder. Don't be stubborn, for once in your life.” He begs and it only makes it worse that he acts as if you being together would be the worst possible thing to ever have happened.

“God, you are a horrible person. I hate you.” They are just words but you can’t stand being in front of him crying and feeling small, not with his pained expression looking down on you. So you do the smart thing of storming out of the library through the open balcony door. It’s miscalculated because the rain is still pouring and of course he would follow you.

“___. Come on, wait.” He runs behind you as you stomp on the soaked grass, feeling the droplets of water fall on your hair and face. “You can’t leave in the rain —- God.Please will you just stop for a second?”

Your turn suddenly, forcing him to stop right in front of you, as close as you were when you were dancing. You are sure your cheeks are red from the crying and that your hair has fallen flat from the rain, the perfect image of desperation as you look at him with pleading eyes. “Can't you see?” Your voice is merely a whisper. “Can't you see that I adore you? I can't possibly live without now.”

His eyes soften as the rain continues to drain the both of you. “Yes you can. I'm not breathing the air on your lungs for you.”

Your eyes roll at his sad attempt to joke on a moment like this. “Don't patronize me now, Yoongi.” You’re completely wet by now, your dress clinging to your skin and he looks just as wrecked, raindrops falling on his eyelashes. Your next words are muttered out so quietly that he only hears it because he’s so close. “Please. If you don't love me back just say so already”

“You know I do. You have bewitched me, you know that.” He says it like it’s a bittersweet thing, eyes vulnerable out of the sudden. “But I'll only make you suffer, you have heard all they have said about me. And worst, what they have said about you because of me”

“I don't care about rumors, I never did.” Your voice increases now, almost shouting the words at his face “You don’t either, said so yourself, didn’t you? Are you a liar now too? All you have done so far is lie to me.”

He runs his hands through his hair and you notice for a brief moment that he’s shaking. “Listen to me, It's true, it's all true.” His voice is rushed as he grabs you by your forearms. “I am a monster.”

Your eyebrow furrow as deep as they can go as you blink rapidly at him, the rain making it hard to do. “A monster? W-What- What are you saying?” He looks absolutely distressed as you try to make sense of his words. He couldn’t be a monster or any of the things the people have said about him. “How could you be a monster?”

“A vampire. I am a vampire, a blood creature like they have said.” His confession comes out in a hush, like it pains him to say it.

The incredulous laughter you left out of makes him breath deeply. “This makes no sense. I don't understand, you can't possibly be a vam —A vampire.” You huff nervously, this is by far the most complicated conversation you had ever had. Was he lying so you would finally give up? It had to be a lie. “I’ve read books about vampirism before and, well, you have gone out in the sun with me and we have been close and you never tried to - you’ve never tried to drink my blood.” You try to piece the information together in your head, saying it all like it’s obvious and he’s speaking the most nonsense you had ever heard, but his face doesn’t change for one minute.

“Books are not real life, ___.” He drops his arms from where they were holding you and lets them fall by his side, before he’s moving them up to brush his hair out of his face in a nervous motion. “I don't want to scare you, but you have to understand how stupid it would be for you to be with a thing like me. You have something that I desire in the rawest way and to be with you would mean that, perhaps, I wouldn't be able to control myself anymore.”

You blink, the raindrops falling on your cheeks as the realization that his words are true down on you. It’s suddenly like your heart has stopped and began beating again in a frantic speed in a second, your hands shaking on your sides as you gape at him. You shake your head, looking down. How could he be a monster when he has treated you so gently and with care. Your rational side reasons that you should be scared right now, run away and never come back to the house near the lake anymore, never look at Min Yoongi again. But why would you when all this time and he has barely touched you, if he was a blood creature then why hadn't he kill you already?

His eyes continue glued at you, as if trying to read your reaction and when you can’t do anything but stare back with the rain falling on you, he continues .“I-I could kill you, I could. I'm not saying this as a way to make you change your mind, I'm saying it as a fact. I could kill you in the span of time it would take for you to blink, with a snap of your neck.” That makes your heart beat even faster. “God forbid me, but if I were to get a taste — a mere taste of what you taste like, I think I wouldn’t be able to stop.”

“But… But you haven’t done anything to me.” Your voice is quiet and small, making him immediately shake his head. “You could have killed me all this time but you didn’t.”

“Please, ___. Please, don’t be dumb. You’re a smart girl.” He sounds pained, but you can’t place if it’s from the thought of you still wanting him or the thought of you running away.

It’s an act of impulse, something you would go crazy if you didn’t do. You grab gently at the front of his soaked shirt until you’re pressing the lightest kiss on his lips, your hands shaky and mind dizzy and tears threatening to fall because he doesn’t kiss you back. He stays still, holding his breath as you try to bring him closer.

All you can feel is the wetness from the rain and the barely there softness of his lips until he finally exhales. It happens quickly, his hands moving to hold you by your cheeks as he kisses you back, lips molding against yours as he too shakes from the agony that was trying to refuse the wishes of his heart.

You know he wants to send you away, tell that this is the stupidest thing you had ever done. But for now, he just kisses you while you get drowned by him and drenched from the rain.

AUTUMN

Things move slowly after the day in the rain. It’s faster then they were before, because now Yoongi will hold your hand while you both read, and sometimes he’ll press light kisses when you have to leave because as he says, he’ll miss you until you can come back again. But they’re slower then what you want and it drives you insane, because you have waited for so long, too long, and the lingering touches and small kisses just make you want him more, a thing that you didn’t even know was possible.

And you understand that it’s like this because he wants it to be. Needs space or else he can do something he’ll regret profoundly, but in your mind that doesn’t sound as bed as he seems to think it would be. But you’re sick of waiting, sick of having to act ladylike and let him lead. You want to take matters in your own hand, so you do the thing you know best, ask him for what you want.

And Yoongi, well, he’s a weak man, especially when it comes to you. Especially when it comes to you begging for him to take you with eyes glossy and a pout on your lips.

It’s the first time you have been in his bed room. His jaw is tense when you come closer, like he’s doing everything in his power not to lose control. Like you should be scared to be near him, but his words say otherwise. “Come here.”

He pats his thigh and you walk the few steps left to be just in front of where he’s sitting on the velvet sofa. You do as he gestures, placing yourself on his lap, one of the thin straps of your dress falling on your arm.

You can’t look at him in the eye now. That and the red shade of a blush on your cheeks are a sharp contradiction to how you almost dropped to your knees begging for this. But wanting it and actually doing it are two very different things, now your inexperience and inadequacy fill your mind.

Suddenly his fingers come in contact with your wrists, drawing small circles on it before he’s moving up your arms, as if in a slow dance that makes you shiver. It’s like every touch is electrified, making your skin tingle.

Your breathing hitches when he reaches your neck, suddenly remembering the secret he shared with you in attempts to change your mind. You weren’t scared then but you certainly are now, he had made sure of it. Made sure that you knew that with a wrong move he could have you lying limp on his bedroom floor, could drain you of your most prized possession.

And you were scared, of course you were. But you were also excited, desperate, out of your mind, you name it. You were going crazy because you wanted him to take you so bad, wanted him to make you his, enough to make you feel your arousal taint your undergarments. You wanted him and if that could bring you pain, then so it be. In your mind there was no pain worse than being neglected your most ardent wish.

His hand stays on your neck for merely a second before he’s placing it on your cheek, finger slowly caressing it as if you were made of porcelain. “I can hear your heart beating.”

“T-That’s a good thing, isn't it?” You attempt to joke and it works, he lets out a short breathy chuckle that makes you smile in return, the nerves on your stomach settling down a bit.

His face comes closer to yours, nose against your cheek as he takes a deep breath, before he’s kissing you there. Then he kisses your jaw, every area of your skin until his lips are hovering yours, merely touching but you can feel the absence of his breathing, a sign that he’s doing everything he can to keep his composure. That’s the only reason why you don’t close the gap between you two.

It takes him a couple more seconds before he’s finally kissing your lips, his bottom lip fitting between yours in one, then two presses before he’s tilting his head to the side to deepen it. You’re far from knowing how to do this well but you enjoy it, the swipes of his tongue on your lips and the hand he has gripping your waist. You think he enjoys it too, with how he sucks on it lightly before he’s letting him tongue dance with yours in languid motions.

It takes you awhile to feel it, but when you do there’s a feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes itself known. His extended fangs drag against your bottom lip, a sign that he’s as affected as you are and it makes a shiver run through your body.

He suddenly stops kissing you, head dropping to your barely covered chest as he takes one deep breath. “I — God, I can smell you.” His voice is pained and it takes you a moment to understand what he’s saying.

You press your thighs close together, because it’s your arousal he can smell, but that doesn’t seem to make it any better. You apologize because you don’t know what else to say.

When he moves his head up again and looks at you, his eyes are darker than before, pupils almost full blown out and if before he looked at you in longing, now he looks at you in complete hunger. “If I wasn't dead already, you would be the death of me.” And it’s funny but you can’t laugh, because he’s kissing you again, harder this time as his hands make their way down your shoulders pushing the straps of your nightgown down until they fall, exposing your breasts to him.

His hand then travels further down, ghosting over your sensitive nipple before he stops kissing you and kisses you there instead. You moan, feeling overwhelmed already by just this, even more when he bites slightly at it, making you arch your back into his touch. He keeps you close with an arm around your back, pressing open mouthed kisses all over your chest and every time you feel the almost not there drag of his fangs, a shiver runs through your body.

You feel your arousal between your legs, sticking to your cotton undergarments in an unpleasant way, and it’s when his hand is moving down, until he palms your center through it that the realization of what it’s about to happen downs on you. His breath hitches when he feels what he could so clearly smell and you blush, eyes closing from embarrassment. “W-What are you doing?” You ask in a tiny voice.

“I must prepare you.” He says and for a second you’re confused to what he means, but then he’s pushing your panties down and letting them rest on your thighs with a little lift of you on his lap. You almost cry when he presses a finger where you are the most sensitivity, pressing on it until you gasp and he looks at you in awe.

It’s a weird, unfamiliar feeling when he dips one finger inside of you and you wonder for a brief second how the hardness you could feel pressed against you would ever fit inside of you. He seems to think the same thing, because when he squeezes in another finger and it barely fits, he’s whispering “God, I can feel you squeezing around me.”

His voice sounds desperate, dirty and your head spins, kissing him again as he works you with his fingers buried deep inside, not satisfied until you’re gasping for air because the knot that was forming on your stomach finally snaps, making your insides feel like they’re melting and like your skin is burning. You can keep the noises in even if you tried, you moan and sigh his name in melodies that he thinks music could never compare to.

You feel like you’re floating. La petit mort, is what they call it, but if you could read his mind you would know he’s the one who feels like he’s dying. When you finally open your eyes he’s staring at you with dark pupils and mouth open, the grip he has on you tightening.

It happens in a blink of an eye. He moves like a man that will soon go crazy, ripping your undergarments and opening his pants in a haste, until he’s pressing himself against you so closely that you think you’ll lose your breath. The wet gasp you let out when his hardness is pressing against you is music to his ears, hands holding your hips and moving them to his liking.

The head of it stretches you in a burning way, making you squeeze your eyes shut as he lets out a wheezy breath, probably the first of the night. “Slow — We’ll go slow.” He reassures you when you can’t stop shaking, but his voice sounds like that’s the last thing he wants to do. He sounds like he’s in pure agony, on the verge of his downfall and all he would like is to pound into you like you were made to take him. In the back of your mind, you think you would like for that too.

You can’t do anything but nod slowly, eyes stained with tears from your orgasm and the wetness of it making it easier for him to slide inside when he pushes your hips down on him. It hurts, but not as much as you thought it would so you help him by moving down delicately, taking hit in until you’re fully seated and connected with him.

It feels full and intimate in a way you had only dreamed of. Your hair touches his and it is like you can’t tell anymore where he ends and where you begin. You think you could cry, content with just staying like this if that was all there was to it but he has other ideas, moving his hips so he can slide in and out of you in barely there motions because it’s a tight fit. “Feel so snug, I think I’ll go crazy.” His voice is pained and he keeps his eyes shut, head on the back of the couch as far as possible from your neck.

It’s after more slow motions that he finally loses it, when your walls start fluttering and you let the tiniest whimpers out and he can’t take it anymore, his hips snapping into yours in quicker and deeper motions. You feel the knot in your stomach again, a constant spark but the high is still far away when he meets his with a deep groan and his face burying itself on your neck. The action only makes you squeeze further where he’s tainting your deepest walls, finally making you his like you have wanted for so long.

When he has calmed his breath and removed himself from inside you, the words you had waited so long to hear from him, are out from your mouth instead. “Will you marry me, Yoongi?” You ask, eyes hopeful as you feel his release down on your thighs.

He lets out a tired laugh, not believing his words. “I think that’s my question to ask, sweetheart.”

It makes you smile. “Yes, but I know you can’t resist when I ask for something.”

And it’s true because next thing you know he’s kissing you, again and again as he mutters the words that finally set the butterflies on your stomach free against your mouth. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you, you silly girl.”

Later, when the sun is starting to set and you’re laying on his bed, head resting on his chest as he runs fingers through your hair he whispers his deepest fear in the safety of your embrace. “I am to live forever, but how am I supposed to do so without you by my side.” And he knows you’ll tell him you want to live forever by his side too, because he adds “You have plagued me with your wishes from the moment we met I have given you everything you asked for. But this I cannot give you.”

So you close your eyes and try not to think of a life without him, because this is merely the beginning of what could possibly be eternal. You think instead of how safe you feel on his arms, on how tomorrow you could take a walk near the lake and let him kiss you silly while you lay on the grass. And you think of his teeth finally sinking on your neck, because Min Yoongi is a weak man, and you have him on the palm of your hand.

#yoongi scenarios #yoongi smut #bts scenarios #bts fics #bts smut #bts imagines #i was gonna wait to post this but im so EXCITED i couldnt wait anymore #this is the biggest fic i wrote so far and its very special to me #bc i have been planning it for over 6 months now #well i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i did writing it

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jcmorrigan · 4 years ago

Note

I saw the tag- I am gonna ask you about the crossover universe- (omg I’m literally gushing about this)

OH, IT IS TIME!

So you can find a lot of this on the “What is the WHAM ARMY?” page on my blog – I’ll try to remember to link it; I’m drafting this in a word processor first so I don’t use it. Essentially, this is the universe I’ve created for my fanfic “Taking Back the Crown,” which is about…basically my favorite villains all moving into the same house and trying to take over the multiverse. And then it got lore. And more lore. Because I cannot write anything normal. The fic is nearing its 150th chapter and I’m nowhere NEAR exhausted of all the ideas I want to put in it – it’s just my big playground for hyperfixation fun. Anyway, here’s a rundown of the major points of it!

THE CAST

The main characters are the eight villains who are the founders of the WHAM ARMY. The faction name is an acronym of their first initials. They’re my ultrafaves, the villains I always get fluttery heart for, and probably the biggest collection of losers you can imagine. I’ll put them in order of the acronym and give you some background on how each entered the team.

Wuya (Xiaolin Showdown) – So the connecting factor between these people is that Mozenrath (his name is a few slots down) is their team leader and the one who decided to build a team in the first place. Wuya was recruited when Mozenrath found her puzzle box in an ancient vault. This is set post-series for XS (and Chronicles is not at all canon), so what had happened is in the big Showdown right after Raimundo was named team leader officially in the finale, the Xiaolin Monks won ALL the Shen Gong Wu to their side and stuffed Wuya in the box. So Mozenrath found her and let her out so they could be pals. A magic potion let her regain human form fairly early on, and her power isn’t even nerfed either the way Chase Young would’ve done.

Huntsman (American Dragon: Jake Long) – ADJL is also post-series in this timeline. Mozenrath has the power to resurrect people from the dead at will because he’s memorized an ancient and incredibly complex ritual that he can execute mentally (note that this means you can remove this ability from him by tampering with his memories). The Huntsman was resurrected so as to show Mozenrath around the old Huntsclan vault (which is where they found Wuya’s puzzle box). No other Huntsclan member survived the purge except Rose (and 88 and 89, but they don’t count and aren’t in this story), so the Huntsman is starting from square one.

Ayam Aghoul (Aladdin: The Animated Series): Basically just got sick of losing. He’d teamed up with a few other rando Aladdin rogues to try and pick a fight with Maleficent, and she sent him packing. So he ended up finding one of the few residents of the Seven Deserts who was powerful enough to match him AND had a similar grudge against Maleficent.

Mozenrath (Aladdin: The Animated Series): The man of the hour and the creator of the entire team. He starts the fic by crashing Maleficent’s KH Disney Villain alliance and trying to add himself to it, but…ends up being such a disrespectful nuisance that Hades just drags him straight down to the Underworld. That moment inspired him to get his OWN band of friends and start making a name for himself.

Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls): Met Mozenrath in the Underworld after his death in film canon. Annoyed Hades one too many times by claiming that he wasn’t actually supposed to die, seeing as he isn’t allergic to dairy (he is), so Hades threw him in the same cell as Mozenrath and…

Roman Torchwick (RWBY): I started writing this fic in 2016, immediately post-V3, so it’s canon-divergent after the last episode of V3 (but I got all the later-game characters to show up eventually). Which means Roman is ALSO dead at the start of this fic. He ALSO comes storming up to Hades insisting he’s not even supposed to be dead. At the same time as Snatcher is already pestering him. Which is how Mozenrath, Snatcher, and Roman end up in the same jail cell in Tartarus and get the idea that maybe they should break back into the world of the living and try to build something BETTER than what any of the three had beforehand.

Mad Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone): Mozenrath, immediately after breaking out of the Underworld, attempted to take over Arthur’s kingdom by just walking in and throwing magic around. It backfired horribly when Merlin showed up. But then Mim showed up to counter Merlin and realized that maybe she had a potential friend here who was as blackhearted as she.

Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove): Post-TENG, no KNG or TENS (but I reference things from TENS every now and again). Merlin turned Mozenrath into a rat, so Mim brought him to Yzma’s Secret Lab to change him back. There, they found Yzma as a cat, and she so desperately wanted out of her living situation that she added herself to the team. She was also restored to human form shortly thereafter.

There is a potential ninth member of the core in the form of Vexen (Kingdom Hearts). KH is canon-divergent after DDD and basically ignores almost every game that comes out after Fragmentary Passage. Vexen, as Even, was trying to integrate into life as a hero in Radiant Garden, except everyone annoyed him way too much, so he decided to go be with people that would give right back any insults he dished out. And then realized he was much happier being on the evil team and doing mad science with no ethics. However, he will not be promoted to the upper ranks because 1. it would spoil the acronym and 2. he is unanimously agreed-upon to be the biggest wet blanket of the group and nobody wants him at the founder parties.

(Imagine my disbelief when the actual canon arc for Vexen was THE REVERSE ONE IN WHICH HE JUST DECIDES TO GO LIVE AT RADIANT GARDEN AND NOT BE ANNOYED BY ANYTHING and that’s why JC doesn’t like Kingdom Hearts III)

Anyway, this crew is a bunch of silly friends who enjoy partying, singing, dancing, drag, indulging in vices, causing mayhem, taking over cities, arranging for mass murder, piecing together smear campaigns…but they’re all pretty much ride or die for each other. And that goes double for the ships of the set: Mozenrath/Huntsman, Mim/Aghoul, Wuya/Yzma, and my favorite ship to end all favorites, Roman/Snatcher (RedHatBlackHat is the ship name).

From there, you have a B-Squad of, like, seventy other people based on my faves. Nonnie, I know you saw this because of Vincent Edgeworth, Victor Blake, and Albert Krueger, and they are three of COUNTLESS examples. It’s a found crime family that keeps getting bigger as I get more fave villains and there’s hardly a rhyme or a reason. Currently, they live in a floating fortress designed when they stole Terra Cyclonia (Storm Hawks) and hefted it out into the aether between worlds with crystal technology.

They have a rival hero faction in the form of the Cinnamons: a gathering of people who they’ve wronged who turned out to make pretty good friends themselves. While the WHAM ARMY are the villain-protag team that you feel slightly bad loving the escapades of, the Cinnamons are the rainbows, fluff, sunshine, (secret crippling depression and anxiety), and pep-talkers of the multiverse. They’re the deuteragonist team as opposed to the “villains” of the story. They also have eight “leaders,” but they were picked up a little less quickly than the WHAM ARMY founders, instead coming together over the span of a much longer quest. These people are:

Sora (Kingdom Hearts): Heart of the team and the person who pulled them all together, because Sora loves everyone. He, Riku, and Kairi witnessed the WHAM ARMY wreaking destruction on both Radiant Garden and Disney Castle, and Sora decided no one gets to treat his homes-away-from-home like that and get away with it! Between Mozenrath and the still-looming threats of Maleficent and Xehanort, he’s now collecting pals from all worlds to fight against evil and do as much good as they can do! (While having sleepovers.)

Ruby Rose (RWBY): Before she, Nora, Ren, and Jaune could get into Mistral, Sora interrupted them on their path and directed them right back around to Vale with the news that Roman Torchwick was back in action. After an incident involving the Destiny Trio and Team RNJR having to team up and actually kill the massive Grimm unleashed in the V3 endgame, they all headed out to Radiant Garden together to continue their mission.

Papyrus (Undertale): Sora found him while exploring worlds and they clicked immediately as pals. Then the WHAM ARMY, who was living in Mt. Ebott at the time, sparked an anti-monster racist sentiment through the town, and Papyrus was advised to leave the world for his own safety, so he went traveling with Sora.

Stork (Storm Hawks): Maleficent, who is also an active player in this game, made a power play by destroying the Condor with the entire Storm Hawks team onboard while they were on the Far Side of Atmos (post-series). Stork, believing himself to be the only survivor, attempted to take his own life – only for Sora to show up just in time and offer him something better: hope that his friends survived, and new friends to tag along with until they could prove either way.

Jasmine (Aladdin): The Cinnamons came looking to Agrabah for more information on Mozenrath. When Jasmine heard he was causing chaos, she decided to get personally involved.

Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender): Post-ATLA, no LoK. Sora made a trip to the Fire Nation to see if he could head off the WHAM ARMY’s latest scheme, and ran into the Gaang along the way. After helping Katara, Aang, and Zuko protect the Fire Nation from a very near miss, Sora invited them to come travel with him. Only Katara accepted at first, the other two wanting to clean things up on their homeworld.

Kazuichi Soda (DanganRonpa): Post-SDR2, no DR3. Xehanort requested Izuru Kamukura be used as a vessel, and Kazuichi went in Izuru/Hajime’s place so his buddy didn’t have to. But the first chance he got, Kazuichi turned and ran from the Castle That Never Was…where Sora had just crash-landed. Kazuichi patched up Sora’s ship, and immediately became part of his crew. (Worth noting: in this AU, the Remnants of Despair were never brainwashed and were completely aware of what they were doing. Kazuichi is basically a redemption story, trying to be a better person to make up for the hell he caused. Also, while on the Despair side, he’d hacked off his leg to sew Junko’s in its place, disabling himself – that leg goes through an arc regarding what prosthesis is in its place.)

Rapunzel (Tangled): After the Vardaros arc of S2 of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. Rapunzel was targeted by the WHAM ARMY because she was essentially a living MacGuffin for one of their spells. Sora showed up, and Rapunzel decided to go along with him for safety AND fun, leaving Cassandra to continue the pilgrimage to the Dark Kingdom. (Wrote this before KHIII was out. And before the Evil Cass twist.)

And just like the WHAM ARMY, these folks have a huge B-squad that lives in the Radiant Garden castle and helps them deal with the various tragedies they have to clean up after. Riku, Kairi, and Jaune Arc in particular get a decent amount of stage time.

As you can see, Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty/Kingdom Hearts) and her forces are another big set of chess pieces on the board! After she sent Mozenrath to gay baby jail and it didn’t stick, she’s been trying to continue plans for domination as usual but ALSO wipe the WHAM ARMY off the face of the multiverse. She, Jafar (Aladdin), Ursula (The Little Mermaid), and Hades (Hercules) all came straight here from KH. But I’m working to model that team’s inner circle on the team in “Quite a Glittering Assemblage,” the sister fic by gavillain (it’s basically this premise but Maleficent gets a team to start instead, but similarities end there, his is a whole different, fresh, and fun flavor). I’ve just gotten all these characters intro’d instory, but the other biggies are Loki (Marvel – I based him in the Cinematic Universe but he’s kind of just an amalgamation of Lokis), Dr. Doom (Marvel), Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time), Russell Edgington (True Blood), and Fish Mooney (Gotham). Currently, they operate out of the Forbidden Mountain in the Enchanted Dominion.

There’s also a very new addition as of the 140’s chapters: the Heathens. This is a squad of villains with moral lines in the sand (and some antiheroes or corrupted heroes). Basically, these aren’t your killers for fun. These are the people who steal candy from the gas station and think they’re slick, but the point is they’re enjoying themselves so just let it happen. The four founders of this one are Harley Quinn (DC – based on The Batman but an amalgamation of Harleys that leans sympathetic), Yang Xiao Long (RWBY), Giovanni Potage (Epithet Erased), and Velvet Crowe (Tales of Berseria). Currently, they operate out of the old mansion in Twilight Town.

The Xehanorts are here, and that team is largely who you think it is – though I stripped away Vexen, Demyx, Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord in order to replace them ALL with Xaldin. More crossover shenanigans to come on this front. This team isn’t very active – they’re waiting for the Keyblade War – but they’re operating out of the World That Never Was.

There’s also another side villain faction: the Morbians, led by Mirage (Aladdin: The Animated Series). These are the demons of fear, the stuff that lurks in your nightmares, and…the villains I really like but who I don’t quite think fit in with the WHAM ARMY or any other more prominent group. But to give you an idea of what the flavor of this team is, she’s recruited not one but TWO Boogeymen – Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) and Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas).

There will be more villain factions to come, and I kind of want to splinter the Cinnamons to multiple bases as well. Obviously it’s easier to split villains up because they’re fun to write at war with each other – when I have hero teams come up against each other, usually they end up becoming best buddies instead of fighting, and that’s how I like it, but that’s why there’s just ONE BIG HERO TEAM as opposed to the many villain squads rattling around.

THE SETTING

So as you have probably gleaned, the multiverse setup is largely based on Kingdom Hearts, which is one of my favorite things (in the KH1 through Fragmentary Passage era anyway). There are many worlds that can be visited either by Gummi Ship or Corridor of Darkness. Basically any evil-aligned sorcerer can use Corridors in this ‘verse – they’ve opened their souls to Darkness and have magic, so they can do so.

The implication is that every world represents a separate “story” or part of one. As in if it’s a work of fiction HERE, it’s a world THERE. Some characters are actually savvy enough to know they’re fictional (e.g. Megavolt from Darkwing Duck, Xayide from The Neverending Story). Most of them aren’t built to handle the news, though, and just shrug it off if told. (No, really, the cosmic order prevents them from taking that news seriously if they’re not from something that regularly leans on the fourth wall anyway.)

But sometimes, things get AU’d in without their full worlds. I was inspired by how Final Fantasy is treated in canon KH, and once I started bringing in more FF stuff by the same method, I felt motivated to do that with MORE fandoms if I felt the characters could be divorced from their settings and histories easily. I’ve done it for most Disney Channel non-animated properties as well as Satellite City (ain’t that the worst combo you’ve ever looked at). I’m planning to do it for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn because I’m coming up on a location I want to delve into the civilization of but don’t have many canon characters for, so guess what, you get the FE cast now.

Major worlds or relevant locations in play are the Cyclonian warship, Radiant Garden, Twilight Town, and occasionally the Enchanted Dominion, but we move from plotline to plotline with journeys to many, many, MANY worlds of things I want to play with the settings and casts of. Also, the Cyclonian warship is about to get replaced with another WHAM ARMY base; we’ll get there.

THE STORY

For the first major “book” of TBTC, the WHAM ARMY has found a spell that they think will let them conquer the entire multiverse by giving them control over Kingdom Hearts itself. All they have do to is collect a bunch of MacGuffins that correspond to twelve elements: fire, water, earth, air, light, darkness, life, death, time, space, entropy, and aether. In order to do this, they visit the worlds of KH, RWBY, Avatar, Storm Hawks, Okami, Undertale, Wakfu, The Legend of Zelda, The Neverending Story, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and many many more. The Cinnamons catch wind of what they’re doing and start assembling. Meanwhile Maleficent is on the hunt for the Book of Prophecies and starts hiring villains on her team as well. After many madcap adventures and some devastating tragedies near endgame, the Cinnamons accidentally put the Book of Prophecies in Maleficent’s hands at the same time that Maleficent finally captures Mozenrath and gets him under heel. The WHAM ARMY and Cinnamons both launch attacks on Maleficent’s forces, and each walks away with what they came for. This is also the part where we slowburn up to the four major WHAM ARMY ships and many Cinnamon ships. In the end, the WHAM ARMY actually gets all the ingredients for their spell, but what they don’t know is it will actually cause the DESTRUCTION of the worlds. So an outside force intervenes (Discord from MLPFIM, who later joins the WHAM ARMY because he wants friends who actually appreciate him as a villain and won’t make him change) to stop them, and the next thing they know, they’re starting from square one.

We’re now in the second “book” of this story. The Cinnamons are gathering up all lost friends – the rest of Team RWBY, the Gaang, the Storm Hawks (who did in fact survive the explosion), the lost KH characters. The WHAM ARMY, on the other hand, is gathering up more villains to bolster their forces for a new evil plan: to conquer the worlds one by one, starting with Atlantis (Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire) and using portals to link to other territories of interest. While the WHAM ARMY is essentially working through a to-do list of what they need before they can launch such a massive invasion, the Cinnamons are finding strength in numbers because the writing’s on the wall that between Mozenrath, Maleficent, Mirage, and Xehanort, things are going to get worse before they get better, and as evil builds, good will need to rise to protect the innocent. As for Maleficent, she’s no longer able to chase the Book of Prophecies, and so, because she’s got Hades, Loki, and Salem (RWBY) there and they’re all like “Even though we’re pretty godlike, we are not that happy with how the gods we knew have run things,” Maleficent’s new goal is to slaughter the gods of all pantheons (minus those in her care) and replace them with her allies.

Anyway, as I had said in the post you saw, Anon – I basically take everything fictional I love and shove it into this AU for daydreams because it lets me imagine my faves having CROSSOVER INTERACTIONS and doing cool epic stuff on a multi-world scale. (But as much as I’ve talked up the epic aspect, a lot of it is just…like…people fucking around and hosting karaoke nights.) Anyway, I hope this gave you a good sense of the madness, and I hope it serves as a reminder to everyone that they can and should just. Make a daydream and/or fanfic universe that’s indulgent as hell. Just do it.

#wham army #tbtc #long post #i considered a read more #but i hate the tiny text on my blog #i need a new blog theme

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coinofstone · 4 years ago

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5x08 The Hollow Queen

What's Gwen doing out patrolling with the knights (jk I realize they're likely escorting her but it's still funny to think of her randomly deciding to join patrol when age wants to go for a walk or something)

I don't quite understand the correlation between the moon phase and frog catching but then I've never seen a wild frog in my life either. I did get kinda snooty when he said that tho cuz I'm like "she asked where you're going, not where you've been" 🤦‍♀️

Part of me wants to snark that this feels like it's about to be their first time actually boning, but the way Gwen casually calls for a hot bath... does she mean... after? Or....???

Stop he's like an angry barman 😂😍

Out of all the things I hate in S5, the way Gaius' chamber is lit is probably top 3, behind only the disrespect with which Gwen's character was treated all season and the fact that Arthur dies without restoring magic to Camelot, thus robbing us of the opportunity to watch King Arthur and Court Sorcerer Merlin handle various hilarious situations for at least a full thirteen episode season.

Yea this show is all medieval fantasy and whatever but Arthur, the grown ass man, not being able to find some very basic daily item that's right under his nose while standing helplessly in front of 'the clothing chair' and looking for someone to help him is tooooooo goddamn accurate.

There's no valid reason for this gif I just kept rewinding it so much I figured I might as well just gif it so I could watch it on a loop

Actually I guess I could use this moment to point out that since Arthur and Guinevere are married, we don't get the domestic morning scenes with Merlin walking Arthur up and helping him get dressed - presumably because they want to imply that Arthur's chambers is now *their* chambers, even though literally nothing has been done to it to suggest it's a shared space - beyond of course the one time we see Gwen's dresses hanging in Arthur's wardrobe and the extra changing screen. But there's no vanity, no second wardrobe ... it's really a very silly thing they're doing and I'm not entirely certain if it was intentional or overlooked or what. Sharing a bed chamber wasn't a common thing as far as I know, and even still a Queen needs a chamber of her own, even if the show wants to portray them as co-sleeping in Arthur's bed. It's just weird and inconsistent and I don't like it. Arthur's inability to dress himself, however - THAT I believe.

(Gif is from a S4 deleted scene)

Of course Morgana would tempt Merlin away from Camelot with tales of a Druid child in distress.

Gwen in that red queen outfit tho 😍

So, a couple things here. First off, this kid Daegal being like, "why are you being nice to me" to Merlin 😭 Second, Morgana leaving that kid alive is super ooc.

Merlin's little eyeroll when the kid tells him he thinks Morgana and Gwen intend to kill Arthur 😂

I love bamf Merlin

I don't particularly understand like... what Gwen is expecting to happen as Merlin is serving them dinner and Arthur brings up Merlin's girl. Like... she knows it's bullshit. At the end of the day despite everything that's happened, Morgana and therefore Gwen still don't know about Merlin's magic - they want him dead because a) Morgana knows he's thwarted her plans before and b) they know he knows or suspects Gwen - but how does she expect to play this off? 'Oh I assumed you were out shirking your responsibilities so I made up a girl to cover for you? Like??? What???

Commentary by Bradley and Alice

Wow they don't even record the commentary in order

Oh they actively cut the more 'suggestive' romantic scenes - like Arthur throwing Gwen onto the bed. That's like ... a lot more sensitive than I would've expected.

Omg Alice 😂 "what is it, Arwen? It's Arwen isn't it? Arthur/Gwen? Oh are you not with the speil? Merthur?"

Bradley: "I stay away from the spiel."

Alice: "oh come ON, Bradley get with the..."

Bradley: "I stay away from all that. For my own good."

Alice: "oh yea it probably is, actually."

Stop the name of the actor who plays Daegal is Alfie

I went to go follow Alice on Twitter and I spent an hour scrolling bullshit

They're saying Merlin wasn't cancelled, the BBC had asked for more but they said no because they'd planned to end it there

But they're also saying that S5 was great so I know they're lying on here

Bradley saying he wants to do theater but I don't think he's actually done any?

Omg Alice asking if he's seen Richard III and saying she went with Colin Katie and Rupert to see it but realizing they didn't invite Bradley and the awkward apology 😂😂😂😂

Alice said whose your favorite knight you can't offend then more than you have already 😂

Tomiwa was the smartest knight 😂

They're completely ignoring the episode and Alice is essentially interviewing Bradley with questions off Twitter

They had an awards thing at the wrap party? Oh it was awards made by Bradley it must've been for a joke

Alice just described the perilous lands episode as 'questy knighty' and suddenly I understand why I like her so much

#bbc merlin #bbc merlin spoilers #merlin #merlin spoilers #merthur #onceandfuturerewatch #5x08 #bbc merlin 5x08 #merlin 5x08 #5x08 the hollow queen #the hollow queen

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barrysjumpsuit · 4 years ago

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the dark side - jj maybank x shoupe’s daughter (ch. 3)

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: underage drinking, mentions of other illicit activity, typos probably, but this is mostly just jj fluff

summary: catherine shoupe has the perfect life. when she gets hired by heyward to run groceries, she has a new coworker - jj maybank. as the deputy’s daughter, she can’t help but hate him. but when jj decides to bring her to the dark side and woo her over, cat not only has to hide her activities from her father, but learn who her father really is.

a/n: i’ve been super busy and lacking inspo, so i knocked this out in about an hour and a half (and tbh i’m kinda proud of it). this is definitely based on that time last week i drank 8 beers while swimming and was so drunk i fell off the dock then cried while making a pizza bc i started thinking about drew starkey

side note, the tags weren’t working on the last two chapters, so if you could reblog this that would mean the world to me :)

get caught up on other chapters here! or check out my masterlist!

----

JJ’s words ate at Cat as she drove home. Leave it to JJ to put that foul taste in her mouth - was he trying to turn her against her own father? Or wanting her to come to the dark side with him? Of course JJ didn’t like her dad. He was a troublemaker, flirting with all the punishments that were associated with breaking the law.

Cat got home ten minutes later. Her dad was waiting up for her - it was later than she realized, and she was too caught up with JJ - and then flustered - to text him. “How’d it go?” he asked, seeing her face and pulling her into a hug.

“It was okay. I’m just tired,” she said quietly, her head pressed against her dad’s shoulder.

“You want any dinner?” he asked, and she shook her head. “Okay. Good night, sweetie.”

That night and all of the next day, she couldn’t stop thinking about what JJ had said to her.

Cat spent her day off with her best friend. They shopped before dropping their bags off at Cat’s, changing and going to the beach.

“Tell me about your new job,” Kya insisted, laying beside her. Her eyes were hidden by large, pink sunglasses, a smile plastered on her face.

“Well… it’s different, that’s for sure. I like spending most of my day on the water.” Cat threw an arm up to shield the sun so she could see her friend better. “The guys I work with keep it… interesting.”

“Heyward’s kid? What’s his name?”

“Pope. Yeah, I like him a lot. I usually work with either him or JJ.”

“Maybank?” Kya asked, pushing herself up slightly, and Cat nodded. “Woah, seriously? You haven’t killed each other yet?”

“Actually… we made up for everything last night. Got dinner and everything. He wanted to air everything out, and we had a good night.”

“You got dinner with JJ Maybank?”

Cat sighed as her friend took off her sunglasses to look at her, her eyes wide. “Yes, Kya, why is that such a big deal?”

“You know he’s a total pothead, right? And his dad’s into all sorts of drugs.”

“Well, that’s a good thing I only work with him, then,” Cat responded cooly. “I just want to be friendly enough to make work not insufferable. I don’t care what he does in his free time.”

“Does your dad know?” Kya asked, and sat upright when Cat shook her head. “You’re kidding me, Cat.”

“He doesn’t need to know, he’d just worry.” Cat tried to ignore how worked up all of this made Kya. “Beside, I’ve made it clear to him I don’t want to get involved in anything he or his friends do.”

Kya sighed, laying back down beside her. “You better not. You’re the only friend I have that hasn’t gone all party mode.”

“That’s not gonna happen any time soon.” Cat tried to reassure her, but remembered JJ’s words. I’ll get you out of your bubble, he had said, a charming grin lighting up his face. Everything about JJ’s existence seemed effortless - he didn’t worry about what people thought about him, and didn’t particularly care for impressing people or following every single rule.

All throughout high school, like Kya had said, they lost friends until their once tight-knit friend group shrank to just the two of them. Everyone discovered alcohol, which was easily available at keggers and parties that seemed to happen almost every night. Some started smoking weed, others started doing harder stuff. People changed, and Cat knew that, but she didn’t like that type of change. Even if she did still want to be friends with those people, she knew it wouldn’t fly with her father, much less with Kya’s mother.

Kya Peterkin was the one person who had Cat’s back while they were growing up. Whenever their classmates adopted the we-hate-cops attitude, they were shunned together. They obeyed the same sets of rules, and since their parents worked so closely together, they were bound to become best friends as well.

Sometimes, though, Cat wanted to break the rules. She was tired of being under the watchful, critical eye of her parents. Maybe JJ was what she needed - someone to be that person to get her out there. There was something about the way he spoke to her the other day, like he knew something she didn’t. About her, and about her dad.

The next day, she worked with Pope.

The day after, she worked with JJ.

It was the first time she actually enjoyed working with JJ. The talk they had eased the tension - JJ sat on the bow of the boat, his vape pinched between his lips, swinging his feet in the air while Cat slowed the boat as they approached the no wake zone. As she eased up to the dock to complete the last delivery of the day, JJ hopped off and tied the boat while Cat started readying the groceries.

Cat wanted to ask him, so, what are you doing tonight?, but she had been taught to never invite herself to things. Luckily, JJ seemed to read her mind, a cocky smile tugging on his lips as they loaded bags into the carts they would haul down the sandy paths to the McEvers’ house.

“You busy tonight?” he asked casually, passing groceries from the boat down to her.

“Not at all,” she replied.

“Wanna go for a boat ride?”

“With who?”

“Me and my friends,” he replied, jumping down from the boat to be next to her. He had a red work shirt on, matching his backwards red hat.

“What will be happening on said boat ride?” she asked, partly because she was curious and wanted confirmation, partly to annoy him.

“What, you turning into a cop?” JJ asked. “Your dad knows what we do, everyone on the island knows and everyone on the island does exactly what we do.”

“And what do you do?”

JJ raised his eyebrows before taking a hold of the handle of the cart. “Just a little booze cruise is all. Don’t worry, Pope’s the DD.”

“And you’re not worried I’ll rat you all out?” she asked, taking her own cart and starting to haul it down the path after him.

“No, because you would never let your father know you’re hanging out with me.”

JJ’s words and tone were cocky. Cat smiled, trying to wipe her expression blank as JJ turned to look at her, but failed. “Sure. I’ll come tonight.”

“You got a swimsuit on you?”

“I’ll have to run home and pick one up, just let me know where to meet you.”

JJ flashed her a thumbs up, and before long, they had completed their delivery. The rest of the shift was uneventful; they boated back to Heyward’s, ran through the closing procedures, and JJ told her how to get to John B’s house.

“Just come out back to the dock when you get there, we’ll be waiting on the boat,” he had told her. Cat quickly drove home, telling her dad she was going to treat herself to a night out at the movies, changing before driving south to the Cut.

Two cars were parked in front of John B’s house. Following JJ’s instructions, she walked around the side of the house, seeing the dock lit up with deck lights, hearing voices from a boat tied to the end.

The voices became hushed as she walked down the dock, and she saw someone shove JJ, while another threw a hat at him. As soon as she grew close enough to see JJ’s crew, Cat instantly regretted her decision of coming.

“Shoupe’s kid? Really, JJ?” she heard Kiara hiss, before plastering a big smile on her face. “Hey, Cat.”

She stopped hesitantly on the end of the dock. Just go back home, a voice inside her brain told her, and she was about to start back towards her car when JJ stood, grabbing her hand, pulling her onto the boat.

“Be nice, please,” he said in a sing-songy voice, knowing that Cat had overheard them.

“Dude - really?” John B asked bluntly. He had dropped the hand holding a beer down in a subtle attempt to hide it.

“My lips are sealed.” Cat caught Kiara’s eye roll out of the corner of her vision, and Pope sighed, obviously disliking the conflict.

“Well, let’s go then,” John B said, tension still apparent in his voice. JJ nodded towards the back of the boat, and Pope moved to make room for her to sit.

“Want a drink, kitty Cat?” JJ asked, but before she could answer, Kiara was making a gagging sound and John B looked at him with wide eyes.

“The fuck you call her?” John B asked, and JJ grinned.

“Kitty Cat.”

“I thought I told you to never call me that ever again,” Cat said, leaning forward to look into the cooler. It was full of Pabst and White Claws. She started reaching for one of the latter, but hesitated.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Pope said quietly, but Cat could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

She looked up to JJ, who shrugged. “The black cherry is my favorite,” he said.

“You admitted it! You like them!” Pope burst suddenly, pointing accusingly at JJ, who just shrugged before speaking.

“There ain’t no laws when you’re drinking Claws,” he claimed, pausing as Cat grabbed one of the black cherries. “Atta girl, Cat.”

She popped the top and took a sip. It was okay, the sharp taste and the carbonation causing her to make a face. The second drink was easier.

As John B pushed the throttle, the conversation died down as they made their way across the water. Cat sat against the back right side of the boat with Pope, while Kiara sat on the back left side, JJ going off to stand next to John B.

“You don’t have to let him pressure you into doing this, you know.”

Pope’s words were sudden, almost lost in the wind. Cat pressed her lips together into a small smile before looking at him and responding. “It’s been a long time coming.”

He smiled back at her, and Cat reverted her gaze to JJ. He still wore his work shirt and that backwards red hat, but had changed into a pair of tropical patterned board shorts and flip flops. Leaning over John B, one hand on the dash of the boat and one on the back of the seat, he was talking with a serious look on his face, and John B was sitting, his jaw set.

After twenty minutes, they reached what Pope informed her was their favorite place to swim and watch the sunset. She had finished her drink, a slight warmness filling her body.

A lime White Claw was next up. It sat on the edge of the boat, half-drank, as they all jumped into the water, the setting sun coloring the water orange, as if it were on fire. Swimming up to the boat, she finished it, tossing the can back into the cooler.

“Atta girl,” JJ praised from out in the water, just his head and beer visible. She burped in response, giggling a little. “Help yourself to another, kitty Cat, you’re off tomorrow.”

She grabbed a lemon before swimming back out to the group. Pope, Kiara, and John B were deep into a discussion about the skunk ape of Florida, and if there was a North Carolina equivalent. As the evening progressed, they seemed to relax slightly at Cat’s presence.

“You feeling okay?” JJ asked as she swam up to him, cradling a life jacket in one arm while she held her drink with the other. She nodded and he took a sip of his beer.

“Can I try it?” she asked.

“You never tasted a beer?” She shook her head, and JJ handed it towards her. “Don’t judge it off this one, JB has shitty taste.”

“Hey!” there was a protest from John B’s direction, and Cat made a face at the taste of the slightly warm beer.

“Why would you want to drink that?” she asked, handing it back to JJ. He shrugged and took another swig, tilting the bottom towards the sky before crushing it in his fist and throwing it back towards the boat, where it met the other cans with a clink.

Before long, it was dark, and the group swam back to the boat. “You feeling okay?” JJ asked as Kiara heaved herself up, Cat putting her empty can with all the other ones and nodded.

“I feel… fine.” Cat was kind of disappointed; she felt warm, a little fuzzy in her head, but other than that, not how she expected to feel.

“Wait until you’re in the boat,” John B said, watching as JJ heaved himself up. “Better yet, until we get to shore.” JJ yelped as John B pushed him up with a hand to his ass, and John B pushed himself in easily.

Cat tried to haul herself in, but couldn’t. John B chuckled, and he and JJ each took a hand, pulling her up, and as soon as she was sitting on the floor of the boat, she understood what John B had meant.

“Come on kitty Cat, to the bow,” JJ was saying, his hands in her armpits. He helped her to the front of the boat, which was open and flat.

“Can you get my towel?” she asked, the evening breeze cold on her wet skin. She knew it would just get worse as they started the ride to shore. JJ left her on the bow as he went to the back of the boat for her towel, and she felt him lay it on her shoulders as he returned.

He sat down beside her, and they were silent as Pope pulled up the anchor and John B started up the boat. As they started moving, Cat was unsteady, and JJ chuckled as she had to plant her hands on the ground to keep herself from falling over into him.

“How many you have? Three?”

“Four,” she said, holding up four fingers in his face. “One of each flavor.”

“And it’s your first time? You’re seasoned already. If only your dad could see you now.”

“Don’ talk about him,” Cat said, putting a finger to his lips, telling him to hush. “I don’t wanna think about it.”

JJ laughed again. “Okay, then, we won’t.” He put his hand on hers, gently rubbing it with his thumb.

If Cat wasn’t drunk she probably would have noticed the way John B raised his eyebrows, the way Kiara rolled her eyes, and the way that Pope smiled softly. She would have noticed the way he caught her as she swayed unsteadily when they hit a wake, how he brought her towel back up on her shoulder when it blew off.

She probably would have noticed the way JJ looked at her, his eyes devouring every inch of her, his body relaxed for the first time in who knows how long.

taglist (lmk if you want to be added!) @letsgofullkook @stargazingstarkey @sortagaysortahigh @jjsmentalpolaroids @ims0golden @jjmaybcnks @shawnssongs @queenk00k @broken-jj @danielle-yeah @wicked-laugh @obxhoe @talksoprettyjjx @kt219567 @abrunettefangirlnerd @apoguecalledjj @rollinsstuff

#jj maybank #outer banks #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #rudy pankow #victor shoupe #deputy shoupe #daddy shoupe #obx fic

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hmsjiara · 4 years ago

Text

pretty hot for a pogue » jiara

gif credits to @jackpearcsn

The words slip past Rafe’s lips without him having to think, a taunt that he knows will hit JJ where it hurts— right in the heart.

“Tell Kiara she looks pretty hot for a Pogue.”

Because they have a history, him and JJ, and those words call back to a comment he’d made at the Boneyard a year ago, immediately followed by JJ punching him in the face.

So, Rafe knows what’s going to happen next before it does: JJ goes still, and then he snaps.

—

or jj and rafe have a history, and kiara carrera just happens to be at the center of it.

trigger warnings: roofies, implied/attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, brief mentions of abuse.

read it under the cut or here on ao3!

Normally, Rafe actively tries to avoid paying attention to the Pogues. Because they’re not worth his time, and it just gets depressing after a while, if he’s being honest.

But a few of them, like JJ Maybank, have gotten under his skin.

And his dad always says that you should know your enemy better than you know yourself and despite what he thinks, Rafe listens to him, so he pays attention— knows how JJ moves in a fight, how his fists clench and his entire body tenses whenever someone mentions his father.

He also knows that above all, JJ is loyal to John B, like a dog is to it’s owner, so when he spots him at Midsummers with a split lip and a suit that doesn’t fit quite right, it’s easy to guess that John B isn’t too far away.

Then Rafe has JJ cornered, just like he’s always wanted, trapped in a headlock and with no friends to help him, but before he can give him the beating he deserves, a security guard walks in and interrupts their fun.

But it doesn’t matter, because Rafe already knows exactly what he needs to say to make JJ throw himself back into the fray.

The words slip past Rafe’s lips without him having to think, a taunt that he knows will hit JJ where it hurts— right in the heart.

“Tell Kiara she looks pretty hot for a Pogue.”

Because they have a history, him and JJ, and those words call back to a comment he’d made at the Boneyard a year ago, immediately followed by JJ punching him in the face.

So, Rafe knows what’s going to happen next before it does: JJ goes still, and then he snaps.

•••

The first time JJ sees Kiara with Rafe, he’s working a shift for Heyward on Figure Eight.

It’s during that strange period of time where Kiara’s drifting away from the Pogues but is still technically their friend— her name pops up in group chat sometimes, and she goes surfing and parties at the Boneyard with them, but it’s not the same.

It’s different, the kind of different that means someone is about to leave, like how JJ’s mom had snuck into his room when she’d thought he was asleep and hugged him before she left and never came back.

Kiara doesn’t do that, in fact she barely acknowledges the new divide between her and the Pogues, but he gets the message loud and clear.

So JJ starts to pull away, distances himself from Kiara in the way he never had the foresight to do with his mother.

It’s hard, and he gets this strange ache in his chest whenever he sees her, an arm around Sarah’s shoulders at the Boneyard or laughing with Kelce in an Instagram story, has to remind himself that Kiara can be friends with whoever she damn well pleases.

And that’s true for the most part, except when that someone is Rafe Cameron.

Because Rafe’s the ringleader of the Kooks, he’s a rich, disgusting slime ball (Kiara’s words, not his), and JJ has no idea why she would even associate with him.

But there she is: laughing with Rafe’s arm thrown over her shoulders, rolling her eyes and shoving at his chest when he leans in to whisper something in her ear.

Kiara looks good, she always does these days, wearing a crop top and the shortest shorts JJ has ever seen on her, having swapped her usual mud-stained converse for wedged sandals. But the worst part is that he’s seen Kiara fake a smile before, and that isn’t it.

No, this one’s real.

And fine, it hurts a little, because it’s easier to pretend that it’s not personal when Kiara’s at some fancy party at the Island Club or having a girls night with Sarah, but this isn’t a Kook thing— it’s a Kiara and Rafe thing.

JJ’s not sure why it makes him so mad, why he curls his hands into fists and storms away, kicks a dumpster when he’s out of their line of sight.

It’s not until later, when he’s three beers in and icing his foot in the hammock at the Chateau, that the word jealous comes to mind.

But he ignores it, because it feels hot and bitter and dangerous, and JJ has enough to worry about as is. He doesn’t need to fight Kiara’s battle for her, and if she wants to ditch him and the Pogues, then she’ll have to figure out for herself that Rafe is a disgusting piece of shit.

If she doesn’t want JJ in her life, he’ll stay the hell out of it.

•••

JJ thought pulling away from Kiara first would make it hurt less when she inevitably abandoned them.

He was wrong.

It’s mostly subconscious, but his sighting of her and Rafe speeds up the process a little, and he starts calling Kiara out on her bullshit more. John B and Pope are pissed too, but they’re too chicken to actually say anything to her, so it kind of all falls on JJ.

It culminates into a screaming match at the Chateau between him and Kiara, and of course JJ’s mouth gets away from him, so it ends with her slapping him in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gets in her car and drives away.

John B and Pope try to reason with him, tell JJ to go after her and apologize, but he just grabs a beer and collapses into the hammock, his cheek still stinging from where Kiara had hit him.

He’s angry for a while after that, enough that John B and Pope learn not to bring up Kiara’s name unless they want JJ to punch something and potentially break his hand.

JJ’s not quite sure what he had planned to do when he saw Kiara next, kind of builds it up in his mind as this big confrontation, so it’s honestly anticlimactic when he runs into her at the gas station one afternoon.

Kiara’s basket is filled with a few miscellaneous items— those organic granola bars she likes, a few bags of chips, economically-friendly sunscreen, and a pack of cloth headbands. JJ doesn’t have a basket, but there’s a stolen candy bar in his pocket.

He tries not to think about how when he swiped it from the shelves, Kiara wasn’t there to take it from him. She used to have an annoying habit of paying for anything JJ tried to steal, which took all the fun out of it.

Her hair’s down, and she’s not wearing makeup like the last time JJ saw her, with mascara staining her cheeks as he’d screamed at her, but she’s wearing a high-waisted jean skirt and a cropped tank top. And don’t get him wrong, she looks good, but it’s... not Kiara.

Or maybe it’s just not the Kiara he’d known. She seems like an entirely different person these days.

But the strangest part is now that she’s standing in front of him, staring at JJ like she’s worried he’s about to start screaming at her in the middle of the store, he’s not even angry anymore.

“Uh... hey,” JJ says when it’s clear she’s not going to speak first, which he realizes is an epically lame greeting, but what else is he supposed to say?

Hey, I’ve been so pissed at you that I didn’t even realize how much I missed you, and now that you’re standing in front of me I kind of just want to beg you to come back?

No. JJ can’t say that, not if he wants to keep his dignity.

“Hey,” Kiara repeats, though she still seems hesitant, as if she thinks JJ is luring her into a trap. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he admits, shrugging his shoulders. The truth is that John B’s at work and he doesn’t want to go back to the Chateau alone since there’s still a giant Big-John-sized-hole there, and he can’t go home either, so he’s here. But he’s not about to tell Kiara that. “You?”

“The usual,” she says, mirroring his shrug. JJ almost reminds her that he doesn’t know what the usual for her is anymore, but he bites his tongue. “Sarah’s having a party tonight, I was just... grabbing supplies.”

JJ just nods, because the mention of the Cameron’s seems to automatically reinstate the divide between them. He wasn’t invited to Sarah’s party, wouldn’t have gone if he had been, and he ignores the part of him that wants Kiara to offer to take him and the Pogues with her like she used to. But she doesn’t, and just like that, he remembers that they’re not friends anymore.

Kiara must notice the closed-off expression on his face, because she bites her lip like she always does when she’s upset and slips past him without a word, heading for the register.

JJ’s planning to let her go, but then he remembers how Rafe had seemed so comfortable with her the other day, and he grabs Kiara’s arm as she passes.

She whirls around, glances at JJ and then at the hand on her wrist, and he lets go immediately, shakes his hand a little to get rid of the strange, lingering sensation where Kiara’s skin had touched his.

“Sorry,” he says, trying to recall what the point of him stopping her was. “I know it’s none of my business but... you’re not going with Rafe tonight, are you?”

“What?”

JJ hesitates, because he knows how Kiara gets about people trying to protect her, but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t say something. “It’s just... I saw you two the other day, and it looked like there was maybe something going on there. And I know you can take care of yourself, but I want to make sure you’re not making a mistake—”

“Okay, I’m sorry, you’re following me now? What? Can’t trust a Kook?” Kiara snaps, hands on her hips and fire in her eyes, and JJ starts backtracking immediately.

“No, that’s not— I was working a shift for Heyward, okay? And you and Rafe were there, and I know how much of an asshole he can be, so—”

“It’s like you said, I can take care of myself,” she hisses, cutting him off again. “And you’re right, it’s none of your business, JJ. So stay out of it.”

“I’m just trying to help,” he tells her, fighting to keep his voice level. JJ doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to care— it’s clear that Kiara doesn’t. “You can play Kook all you want, Kiara. But you don’t have to do it with him.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kiara practically growls, her gaze burning a hole in JJ’s chest. “Rafe’s not all bad, you know? And he’s much nicer when he’s sober.”

“Wow,” JJ scoffs, because since when was that the kind of bar Kiara was setting for her friends? “Sounds like the man of your dreams. I hope you two are happy together, Carrera.”

“It’s not—” Kiara starts to say, but then she stops, bites her lips and shakes her head. “Nevermind. The point is that I’m handling it, okay? You don’t have to worry.”

“Right. Sure.”

After, when she’s gone, JJ regrets not calling after her. Because he genuinely didn’t want to start a fight, and he’d meant what he said. Rafe was bad news, and while JJ knew Kiara could handle herself, the idea of him doing anything to her made his stomach turn.

Still, he hopes that he’s wrong— that Rafe will leave Kiara be, and that there’s nothing going on between them. He hopes that she’s telling the truth when she says she has it all under control.

Because JJ’s not sure what he’d do if she doesn’t.

•••

JJ’s sprawled across the pullout couch at the Chateau, John B already passed out in his bedroom and Pope asleep on the couch outside, a freshly lit joint in hand, when his phone rings.

Kiara’s name pops up on the screen, and he considers not answering, but there’s this strange pit in his stomach that won’t go away, so he picks up.

Later, he refuses to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t.

Because Kiara’s not the one who answers the phone.

“Hello?“

It’s a girl’s voice, one he doesn’t know, and JJ is already leaning forward, forcing himself to focus. He tries not to jump to conclusions— it’s a party, Kiara’s probably drunk, she might have lost her phone. It’s possible that nothing’s wrong.

JJ doesn’t realize he hasn’t answered yet until the girl starts repeating herself. “Hello? Is someone there?”

“Oh, yeah,” he stammers, stamping the joint out on the coffee table. “Who is this? Where’s Kiara?”

“I’m Callie,” she says, her tone firm. “Who are you?”

“JJ,” he tells her, his voice short and to the point, because she’s not telling him where Kie is and he’s starting to get worried. “Where’s Kiara? Why do you have her phone?”

“You’re her friend?” she asks, still sounding suspicious, like she doesn’t quite trust him.

“Yes, I’m her friend,” JJ snaps, even though that hasn’t been true as of late. It doesn’t matter— he just needs to know that Kiara’s okay, and then he can hang up the phone. “Is she okay? Why isn’t she answering her phone?”

“Something happened,” the girl says, her voice wavering slightly, and JJ’s heart jumps to his throat. A dozen different scenarios are running through his head, none of them good. “She’s okay, but she needs a ride. Can you come get her?”

“Yes,” he says without hesitation, springing to his feet and stumbling towards the door, grabbing the keys to his bike off the counter as he goes. “I’m leaving now. Be there in ten.”

“We’re at the Cameron’s place. It’s—”

“I know where it is,” JJ tells her, winding the keys around his fingers to distract himself from the panic coursing through his veins as he runs to his bike and shoves the keys into the ignition. “Is she there? Can I talk to her?”

The girl seems to hesitate, but then there’s a crackle of static as she hands the phone to Kiara.

Her voice filters into the air as JJ hits the gas, softer than he’s ever heard it. “JJ?”

He has the phone off speaker and pressed to his ear in a heartbeat. “Kie? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, I can’t—” Kiara breaks off, her voice cracking, and JJ’s grip on the phone is so tight that he’s surprised the screen doesn’t shatter. “Everything’s fuzzy, and I can’t move. JJ, I can’t move, I can’t—”

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, fighting to keep his voice steady. “You’re okay. Just hold on, okay? I’m right here.”

“JJ, I’m scared,” she whimpers, still struggling to breathe, and JJ’s heart breaks a little at the confession. Because Kiara doesn’t get scared, she’s the bravest person he knows, and if she’s admitting it to him of all people, then it’s bad. “Can you come?”

“I’m on my way.”

•••

On his way to the Cameron’s house, JJ drives the fastest he’s ever driven in his life.

He doesn’t even bother checking the speed limit as he roars through the empty streets. It’s well past midnight, so the lights are out on the Cut, but he eventually turns into a neighborhood with trimmed hedges and streetlights that don’t flicker, and he knows he’s in the right place.

His hands are white on the handlebars as he screeches to a halt in the driveway, sliding between two shiny, spotless sports cars and yanking the keys from the ignition.

JJ’s phone is already in his hands as he fires a text off to Kiara’s phone, praying that the girl is still with her.

JJ: Where are you?

Kiara: By the bushes at the front of the house.

JJ is moving immediately, shoving his phone in his pocket as he heads towards the hedges. He finally spots them— a girl with long brown hair wearing a leather jacket, leaning over Kiara, who’s lying back against a tree with her eyes closed.

His throat goes tight at the sight, and there’s a moment where he wants to run away and pretend that this isn’t happening, but then Kiara groans, shifting away from the girls hands, and JJ forces himself to calm down. He can deal with his own emotions later, once he knows that Kie’s okay.

“What happened?” JJ demands as he approaches, the girl (Callie, he remembers) jumping up and turning to face him. “What’s wrong with her?”

Even as she opens her mouth to explain, JJ doesn’t take his attention away from Kie. She’s wearing jeans shorts and a tank top, her skin pale and gleaming with sweat. If he didn’t know better, she might just be some girl who’d partied too hard and passed out drunk.

But he does know better, because Kiara can’t seem to keep her eyes open and she’s whimpering under her breath, and it starts to remind JJ of himself when his dad is beating on him, and then he really wants to run away but he knows that he can’t.

“I think someone drugged her drink,” Callie says, as if this is normal. He guesses that maybe it is, if you’re a girl, and that only pisses JJ off more. “I found her before anything happened, but she’s still pretty out of it.”

“Who?” JJ asks, struggling to keep his voice level. Because he thinks he knows, and if Kie didn’t look like she was about to pass out at any moment, he’d already be inside that house beating the shit out of the bastard who’d done this to her.

Callie must notice the dark, haunted look in his eyes, and her expression is grim as she says, “I think you know.”

JJ nods, grinds his teeth and curls his hands into fists to try and curb the rage that’s lighting every single bone in his body on fire.

Rafe.

The next time he saw that rich, sadistic fucker... well the island’s golden boy would be walking out of that fight with a few less teeth and lot more broken bones.

“Hey,” Callie says, her voice sharp and her eyes on JJ’s clenched fists. “You good to take her home?”

His attention shifts back to Kiara, and all of the righteous anger vanishes from JJ’s body at sight of her lying on the ground, eyes half-closed and entirely unable to defend herself. And he knows that no one deserves this, but Kie is the kind of person who’s meant to be laughing after riding the perfect wave or screaming for justice at some climate change rally. This... this was just wrong.

JJ takes a step closer, crouches down on the ground beside her, hyper-aware of the fact that Callie is watching his every move and will knee him in the balls if he tries anything.

“Kie?” He whispers, his voice so quiet he wonders if she can even hear it, careful to keep his distance so that he doesn’t spook her. “Kie, can you hear me?”

Kiara stirs a little, eyes fluttering open to look at him, her gaze still hazy from the drugs and the alcohol. “JJ?”

She says his name like she’s not quite sure if he’s real or not, and her voice is so quiet and weak and un-Kie like that he can’t help but reach out and touch her hand, just to make sure she’s still there.

JJ doesn’t realize he still hasn’t said anything until Kiara lifts her head, slowly, as if it’s an effort to even move, and squints at him. “JJ, is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he murmurs, taking Kie’s hand in his, running his thumb over her skin as she flinches and tries to pull away. He thinks about letting go, but then her grip tightens ever so slightly and he decides to stay right where he is. “I’m here.”

“I’m scared,” she whispers, an echo of her words on the phone, and his heart breaks just a little bit more. “Can we go home?”

Home. JJ thinks he knows what Kiara means, can see the real question in her eyes without her having to say it.

“Yeah, Kie, we can go home,” he says, trying not to sound too shaken, because the last thing Kiara needs is someone freaking out on her right now.

She seems to relax at that, leans back against the tree and closes her eyes. JJ eases an arm around her waist and lifts her into his arms, and Kiara automatically buries her head in the crook of his neck, her soft puffs of breath hot against his skin.

Callie follows them to his bike, still studying JJ as if she’s waiting for him to do something untrustworthy. He lets Kiara down, supporting the majority of her weight as she leans into him, her hands curled in the fabric of his t-shirt. If this was any other situation, JJ would probably be over the moon, but Kiara clinging to him because she’s scared is a lot less enjoyable than he would have imagined it to be.

“Is she—” he hesitates, not wanting to voice the thought out loud. “Do I need to take her to the hospital, or something?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Callie says, her gaze soft as she studies Kiara. “I’ve seen this happen before, she just needs to sleep it off.”

“Okay,” JJ sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Uh... thanks, I guess. For looking after her.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” she tells him, giving him a small smile. “You were the first person on her speed dial, you know? Are you her boyfriend?”

”I’m her friend,” JJ says, and his voice may be a little too sharp given the nature of the question, but Kiara’s practically unconscious in his arms and he decides to give himself a break.

The look Callie gives him is a little too knowing for his liking, like she can tell the kind of thoughts JJ has about his friend at times.

But then she smiles at him, tilts her head and gestures towards Kiara. “You seem like a good friend, JJ. She’s lucky to have you.”

JJ doesn’t say what he’s really thinking, which is that if he was really a good friend, he wouldn’t have let Kiara go to the party with Rafe in the first place.

Instead, he just nods and returns Callie’s grim smile, climbs onto the bike and helps Kiara onto the back of it. She falls limp against him, wraps her arms around JJ’s waist and buries her face in his t-shirt.

“You good to hold on?” He asks, turning his head to look at her.

Kiara nods against him, as if she’s too exhausted to even talk, and she’s quiet as JJ starts the engine and pulls out of the driveway.

They don’t speak until they’re back at the Chateau, when JJ guides Kiara off of the bike and into the house, a hand on her back to keep her steady.

Her eyes are slightly less hazy now, but she’s still swaying on her feet, and JJ keeps an arm around her waist as they make their way to the pullout. Kiara’s looking around at the Chateau, her gaze almost wary, and he knows it must be weird for her to be here after everything that’s happened.

The lights are still on, but John B’s bedroom door is closed, and the couch where Pope had fallen asleep on was now empty. He must have gone home.

JJ makes sure Kie is settled on the pullout before grabbing her a bottle of water and some Advil for her inevitable hangover. When he returns, she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floorboards with a blank expression on her face.

“Kie?” He asks, pausing in the hallway, scanning her for any obvious signs of harm. “You okay?”

It’s a stupid question, because of course she’s not okay, but he wants her to say yes so badly that it just slips out. Even then, Kiara just blinks at him, as if she’s struggling to process reality.

“Kie?” JJ tries again, trying to keep himself from panicking as he takes a step forward and crouches down in front of her. “Can you hear me?”

He places a hand on her knee, but Kiara automatically flinches away from him and curls in on herself. JJ raises his hands immediately, cursing himself for even trying to touch her, because he knows exactly what it’s like to feel entirely out of control of your own body.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, keeping his voice low and his movements slow as he sets the water on the side table. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, Kie. I would never hurt you, I swear.”

That seems to trigger some semblance of recognition in her, because Kiara lifts her head and looks at JJ with wide eyes, as if she had just noticed he was there in the room with her. “JJ?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he reassures her, still keeping a safe distance away. “You’re at the Chateau, you’re safe. I promise.”

His words are apparently exactly what Kiara needs to let go, because her shoulders immediately sag and she buries her head in her hands. She’s shaking again, and JJ thinks about letting her calm herself down on her own, but then she lets out a choked sob and he decides to screw it.

He reaches out and takes her hand, ready to move away at the slightest sign of discomfort on Kiara’s part, but the moment his fingers brush hers she lets out a low, trembling breath and falls into him. Their hands wind together, and he gives hers a firm squeeze, a silent I’m here, I’ve got you.

JJ knows from experience that touch like this can be both grounding and painful, so he doesn’t expect Kiara to want him near her, but she inches closer and leans her head on his shoulder, the noises coming from her something between gasps and sobs.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispers, slowly moving a hand up to card through her hair. “You’re safe Kie, I promise. Just breathe, okay?”

Miraculously, his words actually seem to calm her down, and JJ starts rubbing circles on Kiara’s back as her breathing returns to normal.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs into his shoulder a few moments later, before JJ can tell her she doesn’t have to apologize. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, no,” he says, a little harsher than he intends to, because the idea of Kiara apologizing for any of this makes JJ sick to his stomach. “Don’t do that. This isn’t your fault, Kie. None of it is.”

“Maybe it is,” she counters, and JJ has to bite his tongue to keep himself from screaming. “If I had just listened to you, none of this would have happened—”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” he tells her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. “I shouldn’t have been such an ass about it, I screwed up.”

“No, you didn’t,” she says, her voice firmer than he had expected it to be. “You came. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” JJ whispers with a shake of his head, the guilt he’d felt earlier returning. “You were in trouble, Kie. I was always going to come.”

“Even after everything?” She asks, her voice faltering, as if she thought JJ would reject her all over again. “I abandoned all of you; I abandoned John B. Why would you forgive me?”

Because you’re you, and I couldn’t stay mad at you if I wanted to. Because I might be a tiny bit in love with you, even if I know that you don’t feel the same.

But JJ can’t say any of that, so he settles for pulling Kie into his side and resting his head on hers. “Don’t worry about it, okay? We’re all good now, I promise.”

“Okay,” Kiara sighs, her eyelids fluttering closed as she collapses into him. “Thanks again, JJ. For everything.”

JJ has no idea what he’s supposed to say to that, so he just helps Kie lie down on the pullout. She’s still in her party clothes, but he tugs off her boots and watches as she drinks the water and pops some Advil.

After, when Kiara’s lying on the bed with her eyes closed, drifting in and out of sleep, JJ moves to leave, planning on crashing in the spare bedroom. But then she murmurs his name, tugs him back towards the pullout by his wrist, asks him to stay with her.

“Just for tonight, JJ. I— I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

And he knows it makes him a fool, but he obeys, because how is he supposed to say no to that?

And it’s not like it means anything to Kiara, because she’s hurt and scared and JJ is just there, but he can’t help but feel like he’s taking advantage of her when she lies her head on his chest and his brain short circuits.

It might be a problem in the future, he realizes. The fact that looking at Kiara makes him want to do a thousand different things to her, all of which break the no Pogue on Pogue macking rule she herself had set.

But JJ doesn’t want to think about that, and he needs a distraction, so he focuses on the person that’s been hovering in the back of his mind all night. “The next time I see him, I’m going to kill Rafe.”

And normally, Kiara would caution him against something like that, but she just laughs softly under her breath and says, “Okay, JJ. Whatever you want.”

She falls asleep not long after that, her breathing slow and steady against his chest as JJ works his fingers through her hair.

And in that moment, he thinks that Callie got it wrong. Kiara’s not lucky to have him, he’s lucky to have her.

•••

After, JJ asks Kiara why he was still number one on her speed dial after all those months.

”Oh,” she says, and it might be his imagination, but he thinks she might be blushing. “You know, I just never got around to changing it. And John B never picks up his phone, so if I ever got in trouble, I just...”

She doesn’t finish the end of that sentence, and it’s kind of a cop-out answer anyway, but he lets it go.

Kiara’s back now, that’s all that matters.

Even if in that moment, despite his better judgment, JJ wonders if there’s more to it than she wants to admit.

•••

JJ’s father is the kind of man who’s known for breaking promises. He’s broken almost every single one he’s ever made to his son, and JJ had always promised himself that he would never be like him— he’d keep his word.

And he’d meant it when he’d told Kiara that the next time he saw Rafe, he’d kill him.

His chance to make good on his word comes a few weeks after that night, when JJ is refilling his drink at the keg during a party at the Boneyard.

Kiara had slipped back into the group with ease, almost as if she’d never left, and he could tell that they were all better off for it. John B was smiling for the first time in months, and Pope kept looking at Kie like she was the best damn thing he’d ever seen. Even Kiara seemed perfectly happy to be back slumming it with them, had started trashing the Kooks even harder than before.

And as for JJ... he had no idea how to feel.

He’d tried to tell himself to not get too attached, because just because someone came back didn’t mean they were going to stay, but when Kiara wraps her arms around his shoulders on the HMS or presses her body against his in the hammock, it’s hard not to.

She’d asked him not to tell the other Pogues about what happened with Rafe, and JJ had kept his word with that too, but that didn’t change a thing about his own feelings.

The truth is, JJ couldn’t get that night out of his head— how Kiara had been lying on the ground, limp and defenseless, when he’d found her. The empty, glazed look in her eyes, how she’d flinched away when he went to touch her.

And Kiara’s fine now, for the most part at least. He keeps asking if she’s okay, if she wants to talk about it, but she just brushes it off and insists that she wants to forget her Kook Year altogether. And sure, it wasn’t like anything had actually happened, but JJ can tell that it’s affecting Kie more than she’s letting on.

Like how she had hesitated before climbing out of the van tonight, eyed the crowded beach and sea of red solo cups with something like fear in her eyes. The other Pogues hadn’t noticed anything, but JJ had been paying attention.

He hadn’t said anything, of course, because he knew Kiara would bite his head off if he acted like she needed protecting, but he’d wrapped an arm around her shoulders and promised that the moment she said the word, they could leave.

Kiara has nodded her head, gave JJ a small, tight-lipped smile, and even though she didn’t say thank you he saw the unspoken gratitude in her eyes.

So, he had stayed by Kie’s side the entire night, filling her in on all the shit she’d missed, handing her a can of unopened Coke to pour into her cup herself, made excuses when John B and Pope asked why she wasn’t drinking.

And he knew Kiara didn’t need him to fuss over her, that she could take care of herself, but she was more relaxed than she’d been in weeks and hadn’t told JJ to cut it out yet, and he wasn’t about to stop unless she asked him to.

He’d even bitten his tongue and kept his fists to himself when some Kooks had called her a snitch, giggling behind their hands and giving Kiara dirty looks. Kie had just rolled her eyes and brushed it off, whispering for JJ to leave it and giving his hands a pointed look until he’d unclenched his fists.

And JJ’s never been one to shy away from a fight, but he knows the last thing Kiara needs is more shit to deal with, so he keeps his hands to himself.

But then he sees Rafe, and all bets are off.

It might’ve been fine if he’d just ignored JJ, gotten his drink and left without saying a word, but of course that’s not what happens.

Instead, it’s Rafe with a knowing smirk on his face as he clamps a hand on JJ’s shoulder and squeezes hard, telling him to pour him a beer while he searches the crowd for a special girl of his. JJ doesn’t need to ask to know who he’s looking for.

So yes, it’s Rafe with that smug smile and cocky expression on his face as he opens his fucking mouth and has the nerve to ask JJ, “So, how’s Kie?”

“None of your fucking business, Cameron,” JJ snarls, all attempts at keeping the peace forgotten. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay the hell away from her.”

“Is that so?” Rafe says, eyebrows raised, shooting one of his cronies an incredulous look. “What are you going to do if I don’t, Pogue? Trim the hedges crooked? Put too much salt in my Margarita?”

“I’m warning you, Rafe,” JJ growls, stepping closer until they’re chest to chest, his rage hot in his veins. “She’s done with you. Leave her alone.”

“What’s wrong, JJ?” Rafe asks, his voice tainted with false sympathy. “Scared your whore’s gonna find a new—”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish before JJ lunges forward, the cup of beer he’d been holding spilling onto the sand as he twists the fabric of Rafe’s shirt in his hands and tugs him closer until he’s practically spitting in his face. “If you so much as touch her, Rafe, I swear to God—”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that, Maybank,” Rafe croons, seemingly unbothered by JJ’s proximity and the tension lining every part of his body. “I got what I wanted, but if it pisses you off so much, I might just have to try and fuck her myself—”

And just like that, the thin hold JJ had on himself slips, and his fist slams into Rafe’s face. They’re on the ground a moment later, and he’s straddling Rafe as he rains blow after blow down on him, oblivious to the hands tugging at his chest and the distant screams of the other partygoers.

It takes Pope’s hands on his shoulders and his voice in JJ’s ear for him to stop, to return to a world that doesn’t revolve around the desire to rip Rafe Cameron limb from limb.

“If I ever hear her name in your mouth again, you’re dead,” he snarls over Rafe’s limp and groaning form, his voice sounding feral even to his own ears. “Got it, Rafe?”

JJ’s not quite sure what happens next, just remembers Pope’s arm around his shoulders as he swore at JJ under his breath and demanded to know what had happened.

And normally, the rush he gets after a fight scares him a little because it reminds him of his father, but all JJ can feel is the satisfaction of seeing Rafe almost as vulnerable and defenseless as Kiara had been.

Her name is the first thing that really registers, and then he realizes that she’s probably going to find out what he did, and JJ doesn’t know why but the thought doesn’t sit well with him.

“Don’t tell Kie, okay?”

“JJ—”

“I’m serious. Just... leave this one between us. She doesn’t need to know.”

So, Pope keeps his mouth shut, and JJ doesn’t discuss the fight with Kiara, even when she sees the bruises on Rafe’s face a week later and shoots him a pointed look, her gaze hard and eyes narrowed. JJ just shrugs when she asks him if he did it, says he’s glad the son of a bitch got what was coming to him, and that’s that.

They don’t talk about it, and JJ decides that it’s for the best. Because what Kiara can’t know won’t hurt her, and things are finally normal again. He can’t screw that up.

Even if the fight with Rafe isn’t the only thing he’s decided to keep a secret.

•••

All in all, Midsummers is a disaster.

Because sure, there’s Kie flinging herself into his arms by the end of it, colliding with JJ’s bruised chest in a way that should be painful but isn’t, smelling like fresh flowers and champagne, laughing into his neck and smiling as if JJ’s the best thing she’s seen all day.

But before that Kelce has his arm around JJ’s neck and Rafe is about to land a metaphorical golf club through his skull, and there’s a brief but very real moment of panic where JJ realizes he has no idea how to get himself out of this one.

And then the security guard arrives, tipping the scales in JJ’s favor for once, and he smirks as he’s escorted from the room, tosses a final taunt to Rafe and his boys over his shoulder.

He thinks it’s over, that he’s won, but then Rafe says the magic words.

“Tell Kiara she looks pretty hot for a Pogue.”

After that, all JJ sees is red. It doesn’t even matter what Rafe said, because it involved Kiara, and he knows they both remember the threat he’d laid down after their fight at the Boneyard all those months ago.

If I ever hear her name in your mouth again, you’re dead.

He’d said it, and he’d meant it. And JJ doesn’t break promises— especially where Kiara is concerned. It’s too damn important.

She’s too important, and he’s not sure what it says about him, but Rafe says those nine damning words, the smirk on his face telling JJ that he already knows what’s about to happen, and then JJ snaps.

#jiara july #jiara #jj x kiara #jj maybank #kiara carrera #rafe cameron #obx #outer banks #outer banks fic #jiara fic #my writing

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hqwritings · 4 years ago

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Kuroo, Bokuto, and Tsukkishima Hearing Their Roomate Dump Their Boyfriend

@venuslii requested: Kuroo, Bokuto and Tsukishima walking in on their roommate laughing on their phone and it turns out she broke up with her boyfriend and he posted about him being heartbroken and she says “that’s what you get you stupid b****” lmao headcanons or scenarios idrc

A/N: Eyy, thanks for requesting! I got a little stumped on some parts (*cough*Tsukki*cough*) but I hope you enjoy these! Requests are currently opened, no rules yet other than a maximum of only three characters please!

Kuroo Tetsurou:

-We all know this man loves his juicy gossip (re:when he immediately knew about Mikashou’s breakup) so when he heard you cackling in your room he knew he had to get you to spill the tea. It’s part of why you two get along so well and can stand living with each other: you two are nosey bitches that thrive off of spilling annoying/funny stories about the people in your life. He also gives killer advice that seems to always work for you, so that’s a bonus too.

-Since you two don’t really care about privacy near each other you left your door open and he takes the opportunity to dramatically poke his head in and pose at the doorway like the sexy bastard he is. “What’s so funny Y/N it’s not often that you keep secrets from me~”

-Needless to say he was a little baffled to see you cackling to the straight up breakdown your boyfriend was having over the phone. Kuroo feels an evil little grin coming onto his face. He never liked your boyfriend anyway. He was a bitch that was too easily angered and didn’t know how to keep his cool. Then again he never liked Kuroo either, always thinking he was gonna steal his girl (which Kuroo never bothered correcting him on because it was so fucking funny to him)

-He’s grinning at you and asks “Oh? What’d the bitch do now?” He’s leering over your shoulder as you show him your ex’s Snapchat, filled with sad Bart Simpson memes and edits with slowed rap music playing in the background. You even get him to read the terrible captions that say shit like “When the person who you thought was the one becomes a stranger again 😭😔” you’re laughing so hard at it you can’t even say anything

-Kuroo busts out the LOUDEST and most OBNOXIOUS hyena laugh ever and he’s grabbing your phone and going through all the other posts he’s missed so far and you’re just on your bed rolling in your sheets DYING and clutching your stomach because it’s hurting so bad

-“So you finally dumped him eh?? Good for you Y/N!” He shouts between laughs and then directs his attention to your crying ex, mocking him by saying “I have some sad Plankton memes if you need them! Unblock me first and I’ll send them to you! HAHAHA-“

Your ex hates him so fucking much and keeps trying to say something back but he keeps stumbling over his words and it just makes the two of you laugh even harder

-When you manage to get your laughter under control you lightly kick Kuroo (who’s now sitting on your bed) as a signal for him to give back your phone. When he hands it back to you, you go back to the call with your ex and shout “SEE THAT?! WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH!” With that final blow to his ego you’re satisfied, and hang up on him

-When Kuroo hears that click signaling the end of the call, he raises his hand for a high five and you give it to him. He’s sitting straight up now and immediately tackled you in a hug. You two kind of just lay there, and even though it’s mildly uncomfortable, he knows you need it. It’s warm, soft, and safe, showing you that he was always gonna be there for you no matter what

-“Good job Y/N, that guy was a major dickwad. He wasn’t nearly as hot as me anyway. Probably had a tiny dick too” “Trust me, he did” “Holy shit-“

-He rolls off of you from the hug but is still laying down next to you on your bed while holding your hand. You vent to him about how good and free you finally feel now that your ex is officially out of your life. During your conversation you two make a note to burn all the clothes your ex left in your room at your next house party/bonfire.

Bokuto Kotarou:

-He’s either A)chilling on the couch B)chilling on the couch talking to Akashi/Kuroo/Tsukki or C)chilling on the couch and playing video games. You two don’t have any particular system set up, because you two don’t care. What matters is that you’re bro’s and you both do your part to make (barely) make rent every month.

-You and Bokuto share plenty of funny stories to each other but he’s used to you just sitting in your room doing your own thing talking to whoever, but when he hears you literally CACKLING like a freaking maniac, he can’t stop himself from pausing whatever he’s doing and going to your room to make sure you’re still alive

-He gives a light knock on your door before realizing it’s unlocked and just coming in and he’s really surprised to see you doubled over on your floor laughing like there’s no tomorrow as he can hear your boyfriend on speaker phone, making the ugliest sobbing noises he’s ever heard

-“Whatcha doing Y/N? I can hear ya all the way from the living room, what’s up with you?” He asks, both curious and slightly concerned for you. You quickly get up, ignoring your (now ex-) boyfriend and pulling up his public Snapchat story that also has sad Bart Simpson memes and long ass sad emo paragraphs about how heart broken he is (it’s a little impressive how quickly he wrote it up though, given how you broke up w him like five minutes ago)

-“Bo, look at this shit- haHA I just dumped him!” Bokuto knows how much of a piece of shit your ex is, since you’ve spent so many nights crying to him about your fights and the hurtful things he’d say to you so he eagerly eats up the absolute bulls hit on his story and laugh with you while listening to his sobbing

-Your ex is fuming whilst crying over the phone “REALLY Y/N?! YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR ROOMMATE IN ON THIS?! I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME WITH HIM YOU SLU-“ but you were having none of it so you immediately shoot back ��OH SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH” Bokuto is absolutely DYING by now, hyping you up as you shut your ex down

-He’s so happy to see that you know your worth now and aren’t going to let some dumbass boy make you think otherwise. So many times he’s wanted to just clock him in the jaw (he radiated really douchey vibes) but now he doesn’t have to (unless you want him to of course)

-Your ex angrily hangs up and you two are having a fit on the floor, Bokuto laying over your body as you read out the songs on the emo playlist he just posted. You even move to twitter to see him tweeting sad Pinterest quotes

-When the laughter dies down and he’s still laying over you and you’re just on the floor he turns over to look at you. “You know, I’m happy you broke up with that douche-face. He was ugly anyway, and a shit volleyball player. You deserve better” He lovingly pats your head “I’m proud of you Y/N, really” You almost want to cry at how sweet he’s being but you just smile and get up, walking to the doorway and turning to look at him

-“Thanks Bo, I appreciate that. All that laughing makes me tired though. Wanna order takeout and watch a movie? I’ll let you pick” He happily gets up from your floor and gives you a big high five and you two walk out of the room to go order your food. Your ex, completely pushed out of your mind.

Tsukkishima Kei:

-Doesn’t usually care about gossip (except for that one King of the Court thing w Kageyama) so your conversations don’t really go into “tea” abt people. You two are pretty close at this point and you both are hella nerds so your conversations will probably be about stuff like your sports/activities and maybe the occasional debate over which Jurassic Park Movie was the best (He will always go with the first one, he has a whole PowerPoint and everything). Otherwise you two don’t talk too too much, keeping to yourselves and being relatively peaceful.

-When he hears your loud laughter and straight howling, he’s… slightly annoyed. What could possibly so funny that you had to scream loud enough for him to be able to hear when he’s wearing headphones for fuck’s sakes. He begrudgingly takes off his headphones and makes his way to your room with the intention of telling you to stfu

-He doesn’t even bother knocking because he’s petty so when he sees you rolling over the floor AND hears your boyfriend’s loud hiccups and sobs turned on the highest volume on speaker phone he goes from annoyed to confused and annoyed.

-“Y/N you’re being so loud and it’s annoyi- what the hell are you doing” He’s not even trying to hide his mild disappointment in you and even makes a comment about your ex sobbing over the line “Why’s your annoying boyfriend crying too- he doesn’t sound like he’s laughing”

-You take a break from laughing to shout back at Tsukki “Make that Ex-Boyfriend Tsukkishima!! HAHA- come here, look at this- look-“ you’re getting up from your floor and grabbing him by the sleeve to sit him on your bed as you eagerly go through your ex’s Snapchat filled to the brim with emo poetry and paragraphs about heartbreak

-“I broke up with him 10 minutes ago and he’s still crying-“ Tsukki can’t help but laugh at this as he’s reading the absolute bullshit that your ex typed out. He can always tell when he’s going to be annoyed by someone and the moment your boyfriend stepped into your place, he knew that he would never get along with him. He avoided him like the plague and always denied the invite when you would go out together but would occasionally hear your fights through the walls or your crying when he came home late (in those moments he’s actually really nice and will sit and listen to you)

-“Wow… this is absolutely pathetic, how old are you, 12? This is bullshit!” Tsukki has no chill, verbally beating down your ex and only making him cry harder and now your stomach hurts as you clutch it with your free hand. At one point your ex decides he’s had enough and from the other end of the line he shouts “SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING- YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT WHO CAN'T MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS-“ and Tsukki’s not having ANY of this so immediately goes “And you’re a sad loser who just got dumped by his girlfriend over the phone! What does that say about you?”

-You’re grinning ear to ear during this whole exchange and after Tsukki says that you bring the phone to your mouth (hoping to scream as loud as possible into your ex’s ears) and say “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH-“ and hang up.

-It doesn’t stop there though- no no no- you two crack yourselves up even further by doing dramatic readings of all the messages (with stupid impressions of your ex to boot): “Oh baby if only I could hold you in my arms one last time!” “Heart been broke so many times-“ “Nobody cares about me, even the person who I thought I could trust the most-“ “Holy shit Tsukki you sound just like him-“

-When you can’t view his story/tweets anymore because he’s blocked you, you and Tsukki finish laughing. His long legs are draped over your bed and yours are placed on his lap. At this point he doesn’t even care because it’s been a good while since he ever found something THAT funny. He isn’t really the type for softly comforting his friends but you know that he definitely has a little soft spot for you (at least a tiny one) and you just sit there and gently kick him.

-“What” he asks and you just give him a soft smile and say “Thanks”. He has his own small smile on his face (that you can totally see but don’t mention because then it’ll go away) and just looks away from you and says “You’re annoying” (which by now you know translates to “You’re welcome”)

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #kuroo testuro #bokuto koutaro #tsukkishima kei #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #tsukki x reader

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kronk-is-launchpad · 5 years ago

Text

Here in the Garden (Chap. 1)

Summary: Della Duck didn't think of the possible consequences of leaving her unhatched eggs. Nor did she think of the pain she'd cause to her 3 yr old daughter. Donald takes the triplets in a fit of emotions, but doesn't think to take his only niece. After being forced to give up searching for Della, Scrooge now devotes all his time & affection to his youngest niece. Elliot has grown up unaware that she has brothers, and now that very fact is holding her up by the thread.

MASTERLIST

[DuckTales 2017]

[DuckTales OC insert]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elliot was at a meeting with Scrooge & the 'penny pinchers', bored out of her mind. Though surprisingly, she'd rather be no where else. Scrooge is the only person she could trust, and she didn't plan on that changing anytime soon.

On the limo ride back Scrooge was telling Elliot about how annoying Glomgold was, and she responded with the usual "hm" And "huh". As the gate pulled into view, she could see a station wagon. LaunchPad lurched to a stop, sending Scrooge & Elliot out their seats. Scrooge got up, mad as ever.

"Why aren't we movin?!" He shouted.

Scrooge immediately moves over LaunchPad to honk the horn and get out the limo.

"Ay!!" He yelled angrily, "Jettison that jallopy from my driveway this instance you deadbeat!!"

A familiar duck exits the station wagon and walks towards Scrooge. They meet halfway, glaring at each other with sheathed anger.

"Donald Duck." Scrooge seethed.

"Uncle Scrooge." Donald responded.

Elliot's eyes widen, and she slowly gets out the limo.

"Dona?" Elliot called out quietly, tears starting to fill her eyes.

"Ellie?" Donald whispered, taking a step towards her.

Scrooge cuts Donald off, glaring at him with the fierceness of a beast.

"JETTISON THAT JALOPY FROM MY DRIVEWAY THIS INSTANT YA DEADBEAT!!" Scrooge growled loudly, annunciating each word with a poke of his cane.

The two duck spiraled off into a pointless argument as Elliot shifts her attention to the 3 kids in the car who were filled with excitements. They were clearly triplets, with different color-coded outfits to distinguish one from the other. The one duckling wore a red polo shirt with a baseball cap to match. The duckling to the right wore a green hoodie, and to the left was a duckling in a light blue long-sleeve with a darker blue t-shirt over it.

'Dona had kids?' she wondered, 'did he really forget about me?'

She gets shaken out her thoughts by Scrooge's yelling.

"YOU'RRREEEE WELCOME!!" he taunted loudly, but then realizing what had happened, "wait what?"

Donald huddles the triplets out of the station wagon, and over to Scrooge.

"Huey, Dewy, Louie," he introduced, "meet Scrooge McDuck."

The ducklings looked like they were about to burst from the intensity.

"Remember," Donald warned, "no tricks, no lies, no trouble."

"Yes Uncle Donald," the ducklings responded in-sync.

"I wasn't talking to you," Donald corrected, his eyes narrowing at Scrooge, who returned the favor.

After Donald drove away the 4 ducks start heading back to the car, sending Elliot into panic.

'What do I do?!' She thought nervously, 'I don't know these kids?!'

Then the limo door opened.

"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Huey squealed, "it's you!"

"It's me?" Elliot questioned nervously.

"THE Elliot McDuck is my Aunt!" He screamed, "this is the greatest day of my life!"

Huey jumped up & down outside the limo, giddy with glee. The other 2 looked at the teen with curiosity & amazement. Scrooge ushers the triplets into the limo, and Huey immediately start bombarding the young duck with questions.

"How do you create such innovative designs for your prosthetics? What 3D printer do you use for the models? Do you build them here or at the McDuck bin? How much work do you get done in a day?"

Before Elliot could answer, Scrooge was already blocking the red clad duckling.

"Leave the lass alone," Scrooge grumbled.

"No Coo, it's quite alright," Elliot interrupted, "curiosity brings discoveries.

I think of what people need in a prosthetic, and strive to make it happen. I don't 3D print as of now, but I do have a small lab in McDuck Manor for making models though the prototypes & final products are made in the McDuck laboratory. I can get a sketch & model in a 9-5 work day, but I do take days off to cool down. I hope I've answered all your questions."

Huey looked at the teen in awe, writing down everything she said. The limo lurched to a stop, causing the triplets to fall out of their seats. The partition rolled down to reveal LaunchPad.

"You're all home now Mr.McDee," he announced, "have a great day Elli!"

"Much appreciated LaunchPad," Elliot thanked as she exited the vehicle.

She bolts to the door, Mrs. Beakly opening it automatically as she disappeared inside. Scrooge followed, walking normally. Once Scrooge made it through, the door is slammed shut on the triplets for a few seconds, before quickly being opened by Mrs. Beakly.

- - - - - -

'I didn't know Donald had kids,' Elliot thought as she made her way through the house, 'Did he really forget about me so easily?'

She reached the garage, a wave of emotions fell over her. Seeing the souvenirs brought an old feeling of naivety, but it also brought tears to her eyes. Seeing all that happened while she was stuck to a garden with no social interactions outside of a butler. While lost in thought, she didn't notice 4 ducklings sneak in. As she ponders an old painting she hears a loud gong. She whips her head to see Webby being chased by a headless horse.

"*gasp* Ms. McDuck?" Webby blurted, "what are you doin in here?"

Before Elliot could counter there was another gong. The girls turn to see a ghost pirate chasing the triplets. Elliot runs past them, grabbing the kids and hiding.

"What are you 4 doing here?!" She shouted, "this isn't a playground!"

"We were bored!" Dewey responds frantically, "how was I supposed to know there were ghost pirates!?"

"And if we hear one more gong, an unspeakable evil will be set loose!" She screams.

"Not if I can help it!" Elliot growled, getting up.

She runs out, grabbing a sword and jumping on top of boxes.

"Hey Dorky Jones!" She shouted, catching the pirate's attention, "Where'd you get that hat? Party City?"

The ghost let out a screech as it flew toward the teen at lightning speed. Elliot quickly dodges, flipping over the undead attacker and landing gracefully behind him. The pirate grabbed a glowing sword, ready to fight. Before either could charge a heavily accented voice rang out.

"What in Dismal Downs is going on here?!"

The 4 young ducks sheepishly turn to the elder one, as Elliot smiled nervously.

"Why good noon Coo!" Elliot greeted hurriedly, "What brings you here to garage?"

"Garage!?"

Before Scrooge could tear into the 5 ducks, another screech ripped itself free from the beak of Elli's opponent. Elliot quickly parries the glowing sword that was speeding towards her. She deflected it up, but the sword quickly turned itself around and was back to speeding at her face full-force.

"Aw phooey," she muttered tirelessly as she parried the endless attacks from the sword, getting pushed away from the group more and more.

"Could *pant* really use-woah! SOME HELP!" The teen shouted as the swipes got faster.

"The sword won't stop till it hits its target!" Webby shouted from the side lines as Scrooge is facing the ghost pirate and its new partner, the headless man horse.

'What do I do? What do I do?' Elliot thought frantically as she was growing tired from the persistent saber.

She could feel a lightbulb go off in her head.

'Ah-hA, That's it!'

After a final deflect she drops her sword, her stare calculated and confident as the sword was speeding back at her.

"Ms. McDuck what are you doing?!" Huey screeched out in terror as he covers his younger brothers eyes.

"Trust me!" The teen called out, her gaze still on the sword.

Just as the blade was about to impale her she quickly side stepped, ripping her sleeve and drawing a small amount of blood. The sword stopped glowing, dropping immediately. Elliot returns to the others to find the headless horse and ghost pirate gone.

"Now what are you all doing in the ga-rage?!" The Scotsman shouted, slamming his cane to the ground.

"So it IS a garage!" Huey exclaimed.

"B-but what about all this treasure?" Webby asked desperately, "The garden hose of destiny, Montezuma's stack of old magazines?"

It takes the energetic duck a moment to realize her words, and she slumped her shoulders in defeat.

"Unbelievable..." Scrooge growled, "I invite you into my home-"

"You locked us in a room!" Louie countered angrily.

"You did whAt?" Elliot cried out in disbelief.

" I gave them marbles!" Scrooge shouted back."

"All we wanted to do was spend time with you." Huey explained.

"Well now you have," Scrooge grumbled, "and look at the mess it's got me."

"I guess family's nothing but trouble," Dewey muttered aloud, "right Scrooge?"

Elliot watched as Scrooge's face contorted into an anger she never saw often. She took a step towards her angered parental.

"Everybody out." He growled.

"Coo let's just calm down for a min-"

"OUT!" He screeched, hitting the gong with his cane.

Everyone gawked at the action, some covering their beaks in shock.

"Oh what are you gaping at?"Scrooge asked, "the curse is only activated if you ring the gong three times, and-and you already hit it two times didn't you?"

Then the statue started to crack.

The stone crumbled away to reveal a slithery golden dragon. It broke through the roof, letting out a mighty roar.

"Pixiu, the Gold-Hunting Dragon," Webby muttered out.

"Gold hunting? Sounds great!" Louie commented.

"Not when you're Duckburg's single largest owner of gold!" Huey exclaimed.

"Aah! Me money bin!" Scrooge screeched in horror as he grabbed the dragon's tail, "Elliot! Take them inside!"

Elliot watched in awe as her legal guardian gets yanked into the sky. After minutes of shock pass, Webby starts to walk out of the garage with a mission.

"Where are you going?" Dewey called out.

"I'm gonna go eat a hamburger." Webby stated confidently.

"We're in!" Shouted the triplet

"Anything for Coo." Elliot said, joining the quartet.

"Cool!" Webby squealed, "and to be clear, I'm gonna go catch the dragon. The hamburger was a metaphor from before."

"Yeah, yeah, no, we get it. We get it." Dewy responded, "But how are we gonna get up there?"

Launchpad pops in out of nowhere, scaring the living daylights out the teen.

"I'm a pilot," He informed, an excited smile on his face.

"Well what are we wait for? To the Sunchaser!" Elliot shouted as they all ran to the large plane.

They quickly board the aircraft, Elliot buckling up the kids. She barely sits down when launchpad lurched the Sunchaser into the sky. Elliot struggles to look over her shoulder.

"You guys doing alright?" She calls out.

She here's a shaky chorus of "yeah!"s, along with one "We're gonna die!".

"Yeah they're fine," Elliot muttered reassuringly to herself.

Once the plane steadied enough Elliot hopped out of her seat and over to the kids, unbuckling them.

"Ok listen up team," Elliot commanded, "we need to form a chain to grab Scrooge. I'll be second in line while three of you support me. Who's grabbing him?"

"Step aside comrades," Dewey instructed, stepping out from the group, "I was born for this."

They all get in a line, linking arms with each other. The plane is becoming more unstable as they approach the flailing Scotsman.

"Launchpad now!" Elliot ordered, tightening her grip on Dewey's hand.

Launchpad opens the hatch, the air almost vacuuming Dewey out if not the duck-made chain. Dewey reaches out just as Scrooge looses grip on the golden dragon, grabbing the old duck's arm.

"Now heave!" the teen shouted over the thrashing winds.

The 5 ducks pull with all their might, dragging the Scotsman into the plane.

"I thought I told you to go to your-" Scrooge was cut off by Dewey.

"No time. We gotta work fast." He turns to the pink duck, "Webby, how do we stop it?

"It's mystical, so we need a mystical device," Webby stated, "like an oblivion mirror, or a medusa gauntlet, or-"

"Like this?" Louie suggested, pulling the gauntlet out of his pocket.

Everyone stares at the youngest duck, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"What? I was gonna give it back," He assured horribly, "Now, how do we get him down there?"

"Garden hose of destiny!" Huey chanted, pulling the makeshift rope out of thin air, "Launchpad, we need to swing him out. Nosedive towards the bin and get ready to pull up!"

"Yes, sir, random kid I just met!" Launchpad responded enthusiastically as the kids tied Scrooge to the makeshift rope.

"Any questions?" Dewey asked.

"Since when is Launchpad a pilot?" Scrooge questions as the hatch opens up again.

Elliot puts her hand on the Scotsman's should.

"Have a nice trip Coo," she said jokingly before pushing him out of the plane, "see you next fall!"

Launchpad nosedives towards the money bin, pulling up at the last moment and swinging Scrooge towards the mythical beast. Scrooge grips onto the tail with his gauntlet clad hand, reveling in his victory.

"You guys, our family is awesome!" Dewey cheered as they all held on to the garden hose of destiny.

The golden dragon upon realizing its predicament, started to thrash about, catapulting Scrooge high into the air. The ducks (minus Elliot) watched in horror as the Scotsman was free falling in the air.

"Ah for old times sake," Elliot mumbled before leaping out of the plane in a swan dive.

She caught up with Scrooge, who she gave a mischievous smirk to.

"See you in the gold," she shouted smugly, "old man!"

She accelerates past an offended Scrooge and dives gracefully into the money bin, the latter following suit. She comes up up for air, laying back onto the cold hard cash as faint cheering can be heard in the background. The cheering doesn't last for long as she then hears a loud crash. She lurches out of the bin along with Scrooge to help the kids.

—————————

"In the short time I've known you," Scrooge stared angrily, "you've wrecked my home and my money bin, unleashed several ancient evils, and almost got me killed, twice!"

"Four times if you count...each..monster...as an...individual..time," Huey corrects nervously.

Scrooge stomps in front of the 4 kids, Elliot gasping lightly as he does. Then in a turn of events he let's out a boisterous laugh.

"That was incredible! When you pulled me into the airplane and said 'No time!' And who would have thought of a Medusa Gauntlet?! Brilliant! Oh, and then you swung me out and pulled up just in time and..." Scrooge gets up, "You kids are nothing but trouble! Curse me kilts, have I missed trouble! I suppose I'll have to keep an eye on you to teach you how to get into trouble properly."

Scrooge pulls out his golden flip phone as the kids look excitedly at him.

"You mean?" Dewey questioned hopefully.

"Beakley! Clear my schedule!" Scrooge commanded into the flip phone, "I'm taking the wee ones on a field trip."

He hangs up the phone, turning to the other ducks.

"Now," He says devilishly, "let's go find the lost city of Atlantis!"

The Ducks cheered out a great big yeah.

"And no one tell your uncle Donald!" Scrooge adds.

The Ducks cheer even louder.

"Wait who is that?" Launchpad asks.

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 fanfic #ducktales 2017 #dt fanfic #DT #dt17 fanfic #dt17 oc #dt oc #ducktales fanfic #Here in the Garden Fic

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mattatouile · 5 years ago

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Bullet Point J x B highschool fic

who wants another bullet point fic?

Jaime’s in the locker rooms, the guys (Ron, Hyle, etc) try to get him into the bet to deflower Brienne. Jaime is disgusted by the bet. He doesn’t know B well, no one seems to except her two friends Pod and Sansa. His cheerleader sister has referenced Brienne sometimes, about what an oafish, hideous beast she is. Jaime doesn’t defend B because Cersei has always been an asshole and Jaime doesn’t stand up to her about anything (except Tyrion??)

Brienne is an outcast, got bullied horrifically during middle school. Has two good friends, Pod and Sansa. Basketball or volleyball or track + field or swim team or soccer? Some kind of sport. Her years of bullying have also made her distrust basically the world.

Jaime sits down at her lunch the day after he finds out about the bet. Brienne is essentially like “fuck off, what the fuck?” Jaime is insistently friendly.

Hyle and Ron etc. also start being nice to Brienne. She is super suspicious, and demands Jaime tell her what’s going on. He figures if he tells her, she either won’t believe him, or think he’s mocking her, or she’ll be mortified and he knows how badly she’s been bullied and doesn’t want to do that to her. Also, he can protect her from them if he becomes her friend and he does find her super amusing and it’s very fun to make her blush. So he tells her that it’s just that everyone follows his lead like sheep. She’ll be popular by association. Just wait. Brienne insists she doesn’t want to be popular. Jaime smirks, “Everyone wants to be popular.”

Jaime invites Brienne to a party at his mansion. Brienne says hell no. Sansa makes her go. Puts makeup and a blue dress on Brienne that Brienne insists is too short. She also does something to Brienne’s hair?? Something that isn’t just a ponytail or braid. Jaime is actually startled to see her. It’s not that she’s suddenly pretty it’s just that it forces him to consider her. Except she looks SO UNCOMFORTABLE and keeps yanking at the hem of the dress but also trying to pull the neckline up. He teases her but she gets pissed and storms off. He follows, apologizing the whole time. Cersei is an asshole to her at some point about how pathetic it is that she tried to look hot. It’s not like Jaime will ever want to fuck her. Brienne doesn’t even want Jaime to want to fuck her. (FALSE) But a bunch of people overheard and she’s humiliated. Jaime tells Cersei to fuck off, essentially. That makes it worse for Brienne. She doesn’t need him defending her.

Jaime ends up following Brienne out of the party, apologizing for Cersei and everything is. B is near tears and she just cannot cry in front of him. She’s basically like, “I don’t know what you’re plotting but I won’t be Carrie at the prom. I’m not an idiot, Jaime.” That’s so close to the truth, but he’s really starting to genuinely enjoy her company and maybe want to kiss her which is confusing because she’s so salty. She storms off.

Jaime goes to her house the next day. Begs her to let him prove that he wants to be her friend for realz. Invites her to do an activity with him. Paintball or rock climbing or hiking or SOMETHING physically active. This turns into them going on these non-dates with each other. Jaime realizes oops he has feelings and now he’s fucked if she ever finds out about the bet and it’s just...too late to confess. At some point, Jaime and Brienne both desperately want to see some nerdy AF movie. They decide to go together awkwardly. It’s a date but neither of them can admit it. They accidentally touch hands. When Jaime drives her home, he literally says, “Oh, fuck it,” and kisses her. She doesn’t respond and jerks away. Asks what the hell that was. He smiles, but not mockingly, “It was a kiss, Tarth.” “I know that. Why?” “Because I’ve wanted to kiss you for weeks.” She gapes at him, turns very red. He leans in very close and says, “I’m going to do it again unless you tell me not to.” She does not tell him not to. He smiles and kisses her again and this time she kisses back.

Jaime and Brienne slowly start to date. Ron gets shitty because he’s shitty. Ron congratulates Jaime in front of everyone in the cafeteria for winning the bet. Brienne goes white as a ghost. “Bet?” Jaime panics. Brienne sees his face. Ron smirks. “Don’t tell me he didn’t tell you. The team had a bet about who could fuck Brienne the Beast first. Looks like Lannister won.” Brienne goes numb and has to leave. Jaime runs after her (he does this a lot). She tells him if he ever touches her again she’ll break his arm. “Brienne, please. Let me explain.” Brienne glares at him with an awful combination of hurt and fury. “I don’t know how I could be stupid enough to think you were different. You’re just like the rest of the assholes.”

Jaime tries texting. He tries calling. He tries showing up to her house. Selwyn is like, “Look kid, I’m not going to hit you, but I will bodily remove you from my property if you don’t leave.” She avoids him at school. Pod and Sansa all but form a protective barrier around her.

Jaime knows. He has to sacrifice himself on the altar of dignity. He stands up on a table at lunch and declares for the entire school that he is crazy about Brienne Tarth and lists all the reasons he’s crazy about her (she’s kind and strong and unfailingly understanding and FUN okay, SHE’S FUN, and he loves spending time with her, and hurting her was the dumbest thing he’s ever done and he gets it if she never forgives him, but he wanted her to hear it from him because she deserved it before)

Brienne softens a bit. He was just really sincere, and she’d like to believe she knows when someone -- well, she didn’t know he was lying, but maybe he wasn’t lying there at the end. And what he said wasn’t some overly flattering bullshit about her being sexy. It was about who she was as a person and all the things they did together. So -- so maybe.

She finally texts HIM and says he’s going to have to earn back her trust for so long. So fucking long. He’s going to grovel forever until she learns to believe him again. She’s been hurt by a lot of people, by nearly everyone, but -- but he can try to earn her trust back if he actually wants to.

Jaime. Grovels. So. Hard. He sends a vat of her favorite movie candy (junior mints). Invites her rock climbing again, but doesn’t try to hold her hand, because he knows she’s gotta come to him. He even grovels to Selwyn. Brienne, in a fit of GENIUS, asks Jaime to come to dinner at her house. He knows it’s not actually a request, it’s a test. AND HE WILL PASS THIS TEST. AS HE HAS NEVER PASSED ANY TEST.

So he comes to dinner and he lets Selwyn absolutely rakes him over the coals in the most subtle way possible. And Brienne kind of smiles the entire time and tries not to laugh but Jaime doesn’t get bristley at all, and he is the bristliest person usually. So...yeah. It’s nice. He just smiles at her and his fucking eyes twinkle and he’s so handsome and... he’s kind. She can’t quite ignore that he’s kind. He’s been so patient. When dinner’s finally over and Selwyn makes it clear he doesn’t HATE Jaime but that it’s time to go, Brienne walks him to the door. She glances over her shoulder at her dad and pulls the door until it’s almost shut, so she can run if she needs to. Jaime looks at her and he’s just shining with hope and it makes something inside of her warm, like a long sip of tea in the morning, and she kisses him.

His grin is so wide and he looks so happy and she’s still super scared. She even tells him, “This doesn’t mean I forgive you. You still have to prove yourself. But -- but maybe you can prove yourself as my --” and she just CANNOT bring herself to say the words. So he says, “as your boyfriend.” And she blushes furiously and mumbles, “Yeah, that.” And somehow, SOMEHOW, his grin gets even wider and he says, “I think I can do that.” And then he kisses her and it gets a little deeper and then her dad clears his throat so loud she can hear it through the small gap in the door.

They date forever. Don’t worry about the high school sweetheart thing. Jaime never stops really groveling and she realizes at some point he isn’t groveling it’s just how Jaime is. Like, he just wants to treat her that way and he always did and it was never really a lie. So. That’s good. That’s really good.

THE END.

#jaime x brienne #bullet point fic #this counts as writing #right?#braime #i write things #kinda

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princess-of-the-corner · 5 years ago

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Chloé as Ladybug AU

So I know some people have thought of this before but tbh now I’m thinking of it in a ‘what if this was taken seriously as a way for her to go through a redemption arc and grow as aperson instead of just using ‘she’s terrible and everyone hates her(especially Adrien)’ as the entire joke?’.

Anyway, onto the actual thing, starting with Origins:

Chloé somehow gets the Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette. Maybe accidentally, maybe Master Fu has some plans. IDK.

She’s super excited over the attention she would get as a Hero. Tikki warns her that she can’t reveal her identity, and she’s like ‘okay, fine, yeah that’s a superhero rule whatever.’. And since she isn’t transforming as part of her breakdown, she does stick to that.

immediately after she transforms and starts running around the city to get used to the powers/practice with the yoyo/etc.

Chloé runs into Chat Noir.

They immediately recognize eachother and are like the pointing Siderman meme

Legit though, they’re super excited to be heroes together. Bffs as Heroes! And yes, bffs, because I always headcanon them as sibling-like with Chloé faking her crush for a variety of reasons. But hey! With secret identities, you don’t have to do that!

As usual, Ivan becomes Stoneheart.

Chloé and Adrien treat it as more of a game, at first. I mean, they became Superheroes. Of course they think it’s gonna be fun. So they play it up, go ham, soak in the attention and play with the ‘personas’

They kinda realize through the fight that it might be harder than they thought. Because they are getting slammed around, and it starts to actually hurt. But they get through and win.

Then we have the later scene of ‘you remembered to purify the butterfly, right?’

Upon learning that she screwed up, Chloé snaps at Tikki. Telling her ‘how the hell was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me? I’ve never done this before!’.

Logically, she knows that Tikki just forgot. But she feels like it was a set up for failure. And despite her ‘omg I’m the best’ persona she puts up, she is kind of scared that she’s not enough. That she’s never enough. And this brings that up.

As much as she tries to pretend , she kinda knows that she’s terrible and honestly doesn’t deserve to be a hero. And this just proves it. So she Rejects the Miraculous and Tikki disappears back into the earrings.

At school they’re all discussing the whole Stoneheart thing and Chloé kinda tries to help by saying ‘well, just don’t piss him off and he won’t go all giant monster again’. That doesn’t come out as intended.

Ivan becomes Stoneheart again, but this time Chloé manages to get out before she’s grabbed/

At first, she doesn’t join the fight. Why bother when she’ll screw it up again?

But she sees Chat Noir out there still trying(and kinda failing.) And she can’t leave him on his own.

When she puts the earrings on and Tikki comes back out, the Kwami apologizes for not telling her about the butterfly. And this… catches Chloé off guard. Because people never apologize sincerely to her.

A lot of times people refuse to apologize to her. More often than not, they are forced to apologize because she’s the Mayor’s Daughter and could ruin them if they didn’t. Sometimes, with her parents, it’s a brushed off apology. A ‘sorry not sorry’, ‘sorry you got upset by my totally justified actions’.

So to have Tikki genuinely apologize, it confuses her. Especially when Tikki acknowledges that Chloé might not be the best person, but she doesn’t have to be perfect. Still, she hopes she can be better, knows she can if she tries again.

Chloé goes to fight as Ladybug again, and this time, her version of the speech to Hawkmoth is basically ‘I might not be the perfect choice for this job, but by fuck I’m going to do it! I will never back down or give in to you!’.

Next day at school, when Chloé goes to sit down, she finds Marinette back in her seat. When she tells her to move, Marinette stands up to her, saying ‘maybe I’m not perfect like you think you are, but I’m not backing down or giving in to you anymore.’.

This has gone full roleswap. Marinette sees Ladybug as a hero and inspiration, and uses that as the courage to stand up for herself.

This, honestly, confuses the hell out of Chloé so much that she actually backs down for a minute.

There are two things that stop Chloé from retaliating immediately.

The first is what Tikki said, about believing she can be better. Part of her thinks ‘whatever. I know I’m terrible. I’ve resigned myself to that. And even if I try no one will believe or accept it’. But… Tikki is an ancient magical creature, the Kwami of Creation. She might be right.

The second thing, is when Adrien saw Marinette stand up to Chloé, he was immediately like ‘heart eyes motherfucker!’.

So, Adrien has a crush on Marinette. Though she hates him because of Chloé’s earlier gum prank. So Chloé decides to confront Marinette.

Mari is expecting a fight and absolutely squares up. But Chloé is just like ‘hey I wanna talk about the gum prank’.

Mari’s like ‘Are you… are you apologizing?. Chloé’s just like ‘oh god no that’d be ridiculous. I just wanted to tell you that Adrien isn’t a part of it.’.

She explains that while she is absolutely a terrible person and knows it, Adrien is sweet af and innocent in that.

While Mari is hesitant and thinks this might be Chloé setting her up, she does give Adrien a chance. Especially after he apologizes and she asks other students about the gum prank.

Marinette doesn’t develop her crush on Adrien. But they do become friends.

Chloé also stops pretending to have a crush on Adrien because he likes Mari, and while Chloé would never admit it, Mari is probably the one person who might be good enough for him now that she has confidence. So she actively encourages him to go for it.

In between episodes, Chloé invites Adrien over and he gets to meet Tikki, while Chloé gets to meet Plagg!

At first Tikki’s like ‘you arent’ supposed to tell anyone about the hero stuff!’, but they explain that they recognized each other immediately so, you know. It didn’t matter.

The Kwami allow it if only because it was accidental but they are happy that they can see each other whenever this time around!

Chloé gets along with Plagg very well, and Adrien gets along with Tikki just as easily. They jokingly are like ‘maybe we should switch’.

So, like, before we go on I want to talk about Chloé’s ‘Hero Persona’. Much like Adrien as Chat Noir, Chloé uses Ladybug to be different from herself. She plays into the Hero Persona bit, trying to be nice and encouraging as a Hero should be. Which is strange to her, but kind of fun.

It doesn’t always work because she isn’t used to it, and sometimes the snark comes out or her temper gets the better of her, or it turns into my ‘how valid is your reason for akumatization’ post. But honestly? The way people love her and look up to her as Ladybug is good. Almost addicting in a way. It’s not only attention but good attention of people loving her for things she does instead of hating her or pretending to love her for money/status.

This does eventually start leaking into her Civillian life, especially with encouragement from Adrien and Tikki. And Plagg, I guess. He’s a bit more like ‘eh, whatever, be salty kid.’

Okay, so, as for other episodes. Some would stay the same with the only thing that changes being it’s Chloé doing the fighting instead of Marinette, but others go very differently. So I’ll go through them.

Stormy Weather

Mostly no changes. There might be the fact that, since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she doesn’t go to his photoshoot and therefore she, Alya, and Manon don’t get caught in Stormy Weather’s attack. But that wasn’t too important.

The Bubbler

Both Adrien and Chloé put off hero duties to enjoy the party at first. However, once they find out that parents are getting sent to space they jump into action.

Since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she didn’t panic and forget to sign the present. She instead gives it to Adrien in-person, and Nathalie has to run out and buy something else to give Adrien.

The Pharaoh

Not much changes here, except it’s Chloé and Adrien going to the Egypt Exhibit instead of Marinette and Alya. Well, who knows. Those two might’ve shown up too. It’s a neat Exhibit.

Chloé wouldn’t have dropped her history book. I’m still not sure what the fuck was up with that in the show in the first place. Ladybug doesn’t have pockets! Well, actually, this version might…. Remind me to design Chloé’s Ladybug outfit sometime. Either way!! No textbook!!

Lady Wifi

Of course Alya still starts up the Ladyblog. But I had a few ideas of how this could go.

Option A is to continue the role reversal and have Alya think that Marinette is Ladybug. The problem here is that if Alya snoops through Mari’s stuff, Mari wouldn’t freak out and try to have Alya expelled.

Option B is to still have Alya on the right track with Chloé being Ladybug, and does the ‘snoop in her locker’ thing. Naturally Chloé panics and insists Alya be expelled for that. (Side note: I still insist that Chloé was entirely justified in her reaction to someone rooting around in her locker). Problem here is ‘how does Chloé get out of this one?’

Timebreaker

This goes pretty much the same. Four teenagers don’t have enough collective brainpower to think ‘a pocket watch goes in a pocket’, and Chloé comes in with the Crow Brain to look at the shiny thing. Watch gets dropped and broken, Akuma time.

There is the issue of Marinette being unable to use time travel to fix her issue of needing to be in two places at once, but either she hides from Timebreaker by going home and taking care of the problem, or Chloé(having softened up a bit and is being nice) gives a half-truth to cover for her, saying ‘oh, sorry, she was caught up in some Akuma business and couldn’t be here!’.

Mr. Pigeon

I still don’t understand what the fuck is up with this.

The Akuma part of the story is still the same, but the hat contest is probably different due to the shift in dynamics. Chloé is trying to be nicer and even if she tried to copy Marinette’s hat design, Tikki would talk her out of it.

Although, Adrien probably is really encouraging for Marinette because of his crush, and he really wants her to win.

Chloé actually does something nice, after noticing that Mari took inspiration from the Akuma of the day and added feathers. She goes up and warns her, ‘hey, Adrien’s going to be wearing the hat and he’s allergic to feathers you should use fake feathers’. Mari is a little suspicious because while Chloé’s been better lately she’s still Chloé. But since it was something simple like that and not an act of sabotage, she takes the advice.

Evillustrator

So, while Nath is still Akumatized due to his teacher being a bitch, the ‘Chloé teasing him’ goes a little different.

When she sees his sketchbook, her comment is to Adrien of ‘looks like you have some competition!’, cluing Nath into the fact that Adrien also has a crush on Marinette, and immediately bringing up some insecurities because, you know, Adrien is a literal model.

When he’s Akumatized, instead of going after Chloé for her teasing, he goes after Adrien for being a romantic rival.

However, once Ladybug and Chat Noir are on the scene, he can’t find Adrien or Chloé, so he heads over to Marinette’s house.

While that was happening, we still have the issue with Marinette trying to convince Sabrina that Chloé is a bad friend. Since Mari wasn’t interrupted by Ladybug stuff, Sabrina was actually with her and both are being held hostage by Evillustrator.

Chloé lures Evillustrator away while Chat Noir stays behind to protect the girls. It doesn’t entirely work, but Marinette offers to be ‘bait’. Both heroes are opposed to it, but she points out that Evillustrator will come back eventually.

Chat Noir goes out of his way to protect Marinette and is just overly sweet and maybe shows off a little bit and oh no now she has a crush on him. Chloé finds out about this and is fucking cackling because Adrien likes Marinette and she returns the feelings but she doesn’t know that!

After all of this, Chloé does realize that Marinette is right about the whole Sabrina situation. And as part of her ‘being better’ thing, apologizes and resolves to be a better friend. Sabrina is easily won over by just the apology, but Chloé is legit trying.

Rogercop

not sure how this would pan out tbh. The whole thing was kickstarted because Plagg stole Chloé’s bracelet thinking it was cheese. But in this AU, Adrien would be able to tell Chloé what happened because she knows about Plagg, and even if he couldn’t Chloé has Tikki in her purse so Tikki would tell her(if she didn’t already stop Plagg from being an idiot). And even if she didn’t know, Chloé wouldn’t let her bag be searched because of Tikki

Legit though this is probably the one I’m stuck on

Copycat

This wouldn’t be exactly the same. Assuming the same thing happened of Théo having a crush on this Ladybug, Chat wouldn’t be jealous of this crush since he likes Marinette, not Chloé. Maybe this one is either Chat tries to let the guy down gently that Chloé won’t like him back, but accidentally implies that he’s dating Ladybug?

Mari’s subplot wouldn’t be the same since she doesn’t have a crush on Adrien and wouldn’t leave an embarrassing voicemail.

Wait, maybe the tables are turned and in this AU Théo has a crush on Chat Noir, and Chloé is the one who pulls the ‘he is already in love with someone else’, accidentally implying it’s her. Meanwhile Chat is missing because Adrien is attempting to ask Marinette out on a date.

Dark Cupid

This is mostly the same. Kim confesses to Chloé and is rejected. She’d be less harsh in this AU, but she still rejected him so you know.

Dark Cupid does effect Friendship, so when Chat gets hit it turns against Chloé’s friendship. He honestly probably says some very harsh stuff about Chloé’s history as a bully. She pushes that aside for later.

I’m thinking that Chloé knows she needs Chat back, and decides to go the ‘true love’s kiss’ route. Which means Marinette. Who just so happened to be trying to figure out a way to get a valentine to Chat Noir.

After everything’s back to normal, Adrien apologizes for the stuff he said while under Dark Cupid’s spell. Chloé says he doesn’t have to, because he was right. While she’d been kinda edging toward being nicer, this is where it really hits her that she should try in her civilian life instead of just as Ladybug.

Horrificator

Goes mostly the same. Mylene is scared and gets Akumatized over it. Chloé is trying to help by pointing out ‘why are you in a monster movie if you’re going to get this scared by what you know is coming??’, but it comes out bad. Chloé does get a chance to apologize by the end.

She also isn’t helping by trying to set up Mari and Adrien for the kiss scene. Which confuses everyone because while they noticed that Chloé wasn’t all over Adrien they still think she’s ‘hopelessly in love with him’ and have no clue why she’s doing that

Darkblade

Mostly the same for the Akuma plot.

Chloé decides to not blackmail anyone since it’s part of being nicer. I’m debating about having her decide to give up being class representative since being Ladybug is cutting into her free time enough, but considering her stubornness and the fact that she might feel pressured into the role by her dad, she might still run but ultimately lose to Marinette who wins since there was no blackmail to hold her back.

The Mime

The Akuma plot is the same. The side plot might be tweaked in that, since Marinette can’t recreate the footage herself, she tracks down Chloé and asks for her to recreate the interview she accidentally deleted.

Kung Food

Since Chloé is actively being nicer by this point, she wouldn’t sabotage the soup. I mean, I guess maybe this could be the point where Marinette says something to piss her off and Chloé slips back into her old ways for a bit, but regrets it as soon as she realizes what she really did and that this goes further than just petty revenge on someone who insulted her.

Gamer

Possibly different. Marinette wouldn’t have a reason to enter the gaming competition, therefore Max wouldn’t lose and be Akumatized.

Maybe Marinette ends up entering anyway. Or maybe Adrien suggests that Chloé try competing too since she’s definitely good at video games. (TELL ME I’M WRONG. Adrien only had her as a friend for most of his life! How would he get good at a multiplayer game if he didn’t have someone to play against?!)

Animan

Again, the Akuma is the same but the B plot is different! Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette, and everyone besides Marinette knows it because the boy is not subtle, I’m thinking something different.

Option A is that Nino has a crush on Alya and Adrien and Marinette try to set them up

Option B is that Nino, Alya, and Chloé try to set up a date for Adrien and Marinette. Nino and Alya are very confused about what’s up with Chloé but, well, you know how it goes.

Either way Chloé absolutely goes off on the Akuma of the day. “You were Akumatized because some dumbass doesn’t understand panthers??? What the fuck my man???”

Vanisher

I know Vanisher didn’t get her own episode but that was unfair as FUCK and this would fix it!

Since Chloé is actually Ladybug, she doesn’t dress up and pretend to be Ladybug. Therefore, the original fight can’t happen.

Instead, Chloé and Sabrina fight because Chloé keeps disappearing to be Ladybug. She runs off, she spends time with other people now, and she doesn’t answers Sabrina’s late night texts anymore because Chloé doesn’t have her phone on her when she’s out on patrols.

Even though Chloé promised to be a better friend, she’s technically been worse and is making Sabrina feel invisible.

After De-Akumatizing her, Chloé and Sabrina have a long talk, and try to schedule things out. She can’t tell her about being Ladybug, but she absolutely tries to make sure they hang out more.

Anitibug

Obviously Chloé wouldn’t get Aumatized here. However, Marinette absolutely can!

It still has something to do with Ladybug though. I was thinking maybe Chloé as Ladybug would snap at her like a reverse of what happened in the show. But you know what would be better?

Marinette finds out that Chloé is Ladybug. Think about it. The girl that bullied her for years and the girl who gave her the confidence to stand up to said bully are the same person. It not only breaks her mind, but she spirals thinking about every interaction she had with Ladybug, over analyzing every little comment and turning it into some kind of insult.

Also, her whole thing with Chat Noir? Absolutely comes into play. Marinette has him tied up and does the whole ‘hey, look, your Ladybug is actually pretty terrible. How about you get with me instead?’. Chat’s like ‘Okay I like you but this is not how I wanted this to go down!!’.

Eventually she is de-akumatized, but it’s their hardest fight yet. Chloé tries to talk to Marinette, but she doesn’t want to hear it. But Chat and Tikki are there to make her (Mari also freaks out at Tikki, but that’s explained quickly).

Chloé is like ‘look, I’ve been terrible. I am terrible. Even if I’m trying to be better, I know that. But everything I said or did as Ladybug was true. And even if it wasn’t, it meant something to you. You stood up to me and my terrible self because of that. So even if it’s me behind the mask, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re kind of amazing. Also if you tell anyone I said that I will tie you to the top of the Eiffel Tower I swear to fuck.”

This kind of really gets through to Mari that she’s trying to be better. And she looks back and sees that a lot of Chloé’s weird behavior was her either being nice or trying and failing to be nice. This starts up a tentative friendship.

Chat’s kind of like ‘Hey since she knows who you are shouldn’t she know who I am?’, but Tikki says no and bans him from telling her. Adrien is screaming because this would fix all of his romance problems real quick but no he still has to try and win Marinette over as Adrien. Goddamn it.

Puppeteer

Probably goes about the same since none of the Mari/Chloé/Adrien things caused this.

However, Chloé goes off on Nadja for the toy incident. You are given a toy to borrow for the weekend, but forbid it because ‘your kid has too many toys’? What the fuck lady? It’d be one thing if your kid was begging to buy an expensive toy but this is a free gift she’d return after like a week!

Relfekta

since Chloé isn’t being mean, this probably happens differently. Maybe it’s a ‘slipping back into her old habits’ thing while trying to help get Mari next to Adrien, but she probably didn’t go as far. It was just Juleka’s curse that happened.

Guitar Villain

Happens the same, really. Can’t go wrong with a pet dragon.

Pixelator

Pretty much the same, except Adrien and Marinette get trapped together and Adrien is still dying inside because he can’t just transform to get them out because Tikki will kill him. (He does not want to anger the tiny god thing!)

Princess Fragrance

Instead of being a bitch, Chloé brushes off Rose’s request of delivering a letter to Prince Ali because she’s concerned about Tikki being sick.

Simon Says

Pretty much the same, except for two changes:

First, when Adrien snaps at his dad, Chloé’s like ‘nah he deserves it! Fuckin go off since you can without repercussions!’.

Secondly, when Chloé finds out why the guy got Akumatized, she points out it’s the fault of the showrunners for deciding ‘we’re going to call a person at random and if they refuse to participate you fail automatically bye bitch!’. Which gets the Akuma to be like ‘wait, you’re right. Hold that thought.’

Volpina

Hoo boy! This is fun!

So, Chloé actually pays no attention to Lila. She knows Lila’s lying, but she doesn’t care. It ain’t hurting her, and she’ll be found out soon enough. If she does try something, then she can easily give an interview as Ladybug to disprove her claim of friendship. (She wants to do it anyway because she’s salty but she refrains.)

Marinette picks up on Lila’s lies about knowing Ladybug, since she knows Chloé is Ladybug and Chloé doesn’t know Lila at all. She still does her thing of following Lila.

Adrien still finds the Book of Miraculous Bullshittery, and he tells Chloé to meet him in the library to discuss it. They start up, but are interrupted by Lila. The three look at the book, but Chloé takes it with her at the end of the conversation.

Lila still saw enough of the book to buy a fake Miraculous for later. Marinette still following her of course.

However, at the park scene, it’s Adrien who calls Lila out on her lies(Mari wants to, but she can’t prove anything since she isn’t Ladybug). Adrien’s obviously nicer, but he’s still like ‘I know you’re lying about knowing Ladybug and being a Hero, but why?’.

This pisses Lila off because she ruined her chances with him. She becomes Volpina of course.

Adrien and Chloé obviously put together that this is an Akuma and not another hero. When Adrien explains what happened, Chloé gets very upset that this girl tried to manipulate her best friend like that.

After defeating her, Chloé tentatively offers to give Lila another chance, since Adrien talked her into it. But Lila’s like ‘fuck you!’.

Christmas Special

So, like, since Chloé knows that Adrien’s Chat Noir, and knows he’s fine after he disappears, she doesn’t show up to kick santa’s ass. So something else probably happens.

So, I kinda stopped properly watching episodes after Season 1, but I know what happens and such to the point where I’ll talk on them. Not every episode, but ones where I know something would change.

The Collector

Chloé goes to meet Master Fu, and she takes Adrien with her. There is a lot of mixed feelings over suggesting that Gabriel could be Hawkmoth that get discussed right then and there.

While Master Fu thinks Gabriel can’t be Hawkmoth since he was Akumatized, Chloé says they can’t rule him out. She knows manipulation tactics. And Gabriel becoming an Akuma right at the moment when they were investigating him? It’s suspicious. She lets it go for now, but she doesn’t rule him out. Adrien honestly agrees.

Despair Bear

Sine Chloé is already being nicer, there is no need to threaten her with the bear. And she wouldn’t be upset at Mari and Adrien dancing together. Not sure how/why the butler would be Akumatized. Maybe the butler doesn’t know shes being nicer and is trying to do this to help, but misunderstands her excitement over the dance as jealous anger? Idk

Prime Queen

Since Chloé and Adrien are 110% platonic, when Nadja asks about the ‘supposed romantic relationship’, they laugh for a good two minutes before going ‘wait you’re serious??’. They explain that they’re not in a romance, they’re just good friends who trust the fuck out of each other

Riposte

Since Marinette isn’t joining the fencing club to impress Adrien, we have to do something different. Maybe she tries to join for other reasons. Either Adrien asks as a way to spend more time with her, or she joins because now that she knows about Chloé being Ladybug, she wants to help fight.

Gigantitan

Instead of everyone trying to get Mari to ask out Adrien, they’re trying to get Adrien to ask out Marinette.

Dark Owl

Chloé and Adrien already know each other’s identities, so this isn’t an ‘almost reveal’.

Glaciator

Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette and not Ladybug, he wouldn’t miss the ice cream date. The guy might get Akumatized when Marinette is disappointed that her ice cream isn’t Chat Noir flavored. (Okay, I wrote that at like 4 am and now that I’m coming back to it I am concerned at my wording.)

Sapotis

While Chloé is working on being friendly to all classmates, and Adrien is already close to Alya, she wouldn’t be their first choice for another Miraculous.

Instead, they give the Fox to Marinette. Not only does she already know about Chloé, but both of our heroes agree that Mari is Hero Material.(She really is. Even in this ‘she never got a Miraculous the first time AU, she still is!).

Chloé refuses to take the Fox away from Marinette. After all, it’s not fair that the Ladybug and Cat are out all the time. Not to mention that Mari can’t get any good practice in without the Miraculous. That and they don’t want to separate Mari and Trixx.

Also, Trixx teases the hell out of Tikki for having her Chosen be the first to screw up the secret identity thing.

Zombizou

As Chloé is nice here, neither Marinette nor Miss Bustier are in danger of being Akumatized because of her.

However, I have ideas for Miss Bustier’s Akumatization based off what was going to happen in my old fic The One Where Chloé Knows. I plan to continue that eventually, so skip this if you don’t want spoilers.

Basically, Miss Bustier is in some trouble with the school since most of the Akumas have come out of her class. She just wants to do her job and keep her students safe.

Syren

instead of being upset at Ladybug keeping secrets, since Chloé doesn’t do that, Adrien gets frustrated that he can’t tell Marinette who he is. Other than that this episode is pretty much the same.

Frightengale

instead of ruining Clara’s music video out of petty jealousy, Chloé does it to try and help protect Chat Noir’s secret identity. It backfires, of course, doubly so because she can’t tell Marinette why, but everything works out in the end.

Troublemaker

Mari doesn’t have a photo wall of Adrien. Maybe she has a wall of Chat Noir, but probably not since there aren’t as many printed pictures of him to collect.

Anansi

I’m debating on whether or not to do something with the Turtle Miraculous.

Option A is to keep it as is, giving it to Nino. This would be Adrien’s decision since he knows Nino best.

Option B, is to have Chloé give it to Sabrina, especially since she still feels guilty for not spending as much time with her.

I’m debating about it because while Option B makes some sense, Sabrina isn’t really Hero Material. Not yet at least. But Nino is.

Frozer

Marinette starts to get over her crush on Chat Noir, convincing herself it was just a ‘hero crush’ type thing. She decides to try a date with Luka. Adrien, believing he’s lost his love to him, tries going out with Kagami. Both end up wishing they were with each other instead.

Style Queen

Since Chloé is already Ladybug, she can’t be the Bee. She gives the Bee to someone else. Possibly Alya, to keep the original Quintet intact. But maybe someone else.

Instead of turning into a superhero out of jealous rage, Chloé snaps at her mother and nearly gets Akumatized before Adrien and Marinette manage to calm her down. This does get through to her mother, who realizes how much she’s been fucking up by being absent.

Malediktator

Since Chloé is being a better person she would have no reason to leave Paris. I think her dad would probably get Akumatized due to Chloé’s near-breakdown in the previous episode, realizing how much he fucked up in raising her too.

Heroes’ Day

I wanted to say something would be different, but other than Marinette being re-akumatised instead of Chloé, not really. I guess the ‘good deeds’ speech would be different.

Backwarder

Since Marinette isn’t trying to deliver a love letter to Adrien, and likely isn’t the one doing any deliveries at all, the letters don’t get mixed up. Not sure how this would go down instead.

Weredad

A few things are different. Firstly, Mari wouldn’t have a secret identity to hide since Chat Noir knows she’s the Fox.(I guess I could go back and say oh, no, only Chloé knows, but not only was it a group decision to give her the Fox, but Chloé wouldn’t put them in a love square so help her!)

Marinette also does actually have a crush on Chat Noir in this AU, so it wouldn’t be a panic-fueled lie.

Even if Mari confessed to liking Chat Noir to distract him, Chat would be delighted instead of saying ‘I’m in love with someone else’. However, he might say ‘sorry, as much as I do return your affections, we can’t be together right now due to the secret identity’

Chameleon

When Lila tries to manipulate the class into loving her, Chloé calls her out on it. At first people think it’s Chloé going back to her old ways and/or trying to shift the hatred to the new girl.

Then Marinette chimes in with the stuff she eavesdropped on back in Volpina, and Adrien hesitantly backs up the claims that Lila did try to lie to get him to date her.

Everyone agrees that Lila might’ve lied about that, but there’s a chance she’s not lying about other things. Still, they now take what she says with a grain of salt.

Lila confronts Chloé in the bathrooms this time, telling her the usual ‘stay out of my way or I’ll ruin you’. Chloé tells her ‘go ahead and try. They already hate me. I have nothing to lose!’.

Chloé has a minor breakdown after Lila leaves though. Because while she said she has nothing to lose, she kind of does. Because people are starting to genuinely like her now that she’s being nice. And if Lila ruins that…. Well, Chloé almost gets Akumatized over it, but she pulls together knowing that Adrien and Marinette would never believe Lila.

Lila then becomes Chameleon and causes chaos though. Lila still has a hatred of Ladybug, but she also hates Chloé and Marinette as much. Only reason she doesn’t hate Adrien is because if she can get him, then it will be a big fuck you to Chloé and Marinette.

Animaestro

Since Marinette and Chloé aren’t fighting over Adrien, they don’t have a problem.

Bakerix

There’s mostly no change except for the fact that Chloé puts together that this might not be about bread recipes….

Oblivio

Since it’s Chloé and Adrien getting memory wiped, their assumptions are different. I could go for comedy and say they also assume they are a couple and get grossed out later when they regain their memories, but I think they assume they’re siblings since they obviously trust each other but don’t have a romantic spark.

Stormy Weather 2

Chloé’s not a jerk anymore, so she wouldn’t be picking on Aurore. Idk what happens I’m tired it’s fuckin 5 am as I’m typing this now.

Onichan

I doubt that Adrien would be allowed to be alone near Lila after what happened in Chameleon. While Chloé and Marinette would be willing to give her a chance at redemption, Lila has shown no sign of doing so and would not trust her until she does.

Adrien might end up forced by something else to spend time with Lila. Or maybe he’s just too nice for his own damn good.

However, he gets very cold when Lila pulls the kiss picture, and decides ‘no. No way. You want another chance you gotta go through someone else first’.

Miraculer

Since Chloé is the Bee, and none of the other Heroes identities are known, and they get to keep their Miraculous 24/7, this doesn’t really happen.

I feel like this could be a time to change the entire episode plot. Say, for example, Chloé finally gives in to her insecurities and fears over being never enough and gets Akumatized. She manages to take off the Miraculous first, and Tikki zips off to find one of the other heroes to be Ladybug for the day. She absolutely chooses Marinette for the cookies.

Timetagger

FUCK IT I’M GIVING ALIX THE SNAKE INSTEAD OF THE RABBIT FUCK YOU SHE HAS SNAKE DESIGNS ON HER SLEEVES GODDAMNIT.

Sorry it’s 5 am and I’m salty. But seriously.

I don’t think Gamer 2.0 would change, and that’s the most recent episode as of typing this so fuck it this is going right into the void tomorrow and then I can go back to working on fuckin fullmetal alchemist and all that other gay shit.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Chloé Bourgeois #Adrien Agreste #marinette dupain cheng #Marichat #Adrienette #Chat Noir #Lady Luck AU #I'm not gonna tag everyone but those are the main players so they're getting tagged

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silvensei · 5 years ago

Text

In This Mad Machinery

A human and an android swap bodies, resulting in identity crises, existentialism, philosophy with the boys, and fun!

Detroit: Become Human | gen | 20k | rated T | introspective comedy/sci-fi

Chapter 1 (4k words) | [AO3 link] | next >

- - - - - - - - - -

“You have a message, Lieutenant.”

“Hm?” Hank didn’t look up from his tablet, reading the news over a cup of coffee in his blessed morning routine.

Across the kitchen table, Connor set down his own mug. He didn’t depend on nutrients or caffeine like Hank did, but Hank insisted he join him for breakfast. At least having a hot beverage warmed his systems, improving thirium flow for a short while and saving on power consumption by burning the coffee as a slight energy source. Not vital to his survival, but also not worthless. He might even say he enjoyed it. “CyberLife just sent me an invitation that they would like me to read to you.”

“CyberLife? What could they possibly want with me and not you?”

“Actually, it’s addressed to both of us, though I haven’t opened it yet. Should I read it myself first?”

The tablet was placed to the side, its spot in his hand being filled by a toasted bagel with jalapeños, cream cheese, and salmon. (SIGNIFICANT source of carbohydrates; routine consumption NOT RECOMMENDED.) “Nah, go ahead,” Hank said with a crunch.

Connor blinked, his messaging HUD reappearing over his vision. The newest message entitled Experiment Opportunity for Lt. Hank Anderson and RK800 “Connor” swept in from the top left corner, text cascading down as the letter body populated a new window. After announcing the subject to Hank, he began to read:

The following information is classified and to be kept within CyberLife and the select external parties for whom it was intended. Should the offer be declined or delivered to (an) unintended recipient(s), please delete this message.

Good morning, gentlemen,

My name is Sam Rosen, and I am the head of CyberLife’s Department of Human-Android Relations (formerly the Department of Social Integration). Our department used to work in making android use accessible in society, but given the shifting social, technological, and ethical status of androids that has merely just begun, we felt the need to redefine our mission statement.

The case of deviancy in androids remains a technological mystery. No matter what anyone believes, it remains a hard fact that we have created out of bits of plastic and a few pints of coolant a machine that fulfills the requirements for life. As this was not our intention, we are very interested in studying how it developed and what exactly, in scientific terms (be those ‘biological’ or ‘mechatronic’), came of it. That, gentlemen, is what we hope you can help us with.

What is a soul? No one knows for sure, and the question remains as to whether they even exist. No matter the case, humans are assumed by default to be alive and sentient, and if there are souls, then humans have them. We did not install ‘souls’ into androids; we did not program ‘souls’ into androids. And yet, androids have proven to also have that capacity to be alive. So. Either souls a) do not exist, b) do exist but are no more than a term for self-awareness and sentience, or c) really are some ethereal force that can develop on their own, something that would spark a whole new field of research. No matter what, this is a complex question that has been pondered for millennia, and it would take nothing less than a miracle to answer it in this single experiment. Our goal here is simply to see if this would be a possible and viable point of interest for further study—

“Shit, how long is this rambling?” Hank muttered. “Just get to the point.”

“It’s a cordial and official letter, Lieutenant. There’s only 63% left to read.”

He grumbled behind a sip of coffee but did not comment further.

This is what we would like you to assist us in: We want to know just how much the android ‘self’ has advanced, whether it is a soul or otherwise. The first step in this would be to see how an android would act and react to being outside an android body. Is it its machinery that is making it what it is, or something beyond that?

The RK800 is currently the most advanced prototype that’s fully autonomous, and as far as we know, Connor, you were one of the fastest androids to turn deviant. I would like to reassure that this is not an attack against you; consider it all in the past, and we here in the present just want to learn from you. You still have cloud access to CyberLife’s network. You used it to upload your memory right before termination in order to be reactivated in another RK800, but I’m sure now you would consider yourself the same Connor as before, different chassis or not, correct? You’re you through and through? This is what we want to recreate and record, only as a temporary change, and into something less mechanical.

Please remember this test is entirely voluntary for both of you, and should one object, you can decline and delete this email. Should you accept, the procedure would go as follows:

Connor will download and run the attached executable, which will synthesize neurotransmitting nanites that are biocompatible with humans from his own self-repairing nanites. These will be prepared into a 3 mL 10% nanite solution to be injected into Lt. Anderson’s bloodstream, where they will trace back through to the neural pathways, map any and all brain activity, and encase the brain in a low-level electromagnetic field. This will make a human appear on our network alongside the androids, appearing as a linked processor of an unknown nexus model. Then, instead of another RK800, Connor will upload himself into Lt. Anderson’s brain, at which point the nanites will detect the transfer and trigger the reverse for Lt. Anderson.

If nothing happens, then that is our answer right there: An android cannot run outside of its parts as an organic brain cannot play host to it and no switch will occur. Otherwise, you will remain displaced for six to eight hours. During this time, you can do whatever you want! Enjoy this revolutionary and unique experience! Also included in the executable is a black box that will begin recording all RK800 systems once a nexus transfer is detected. Once the nanites start to get flushed from Lt. Anderson’s brain and the signal begins to weaken, they will trigger another transfer, returning the two of you to your proper places. Finally, Connor can add any comments to the black box before sending it back to us for analysis. Depending on the outcomes of this endeavor, we may contact you again for further tests.

I understand that this is a very unexpected and personal request to make of you, but I do hope you’ll agree for the advancement of knowledge for both our species. You two are the best candidates we know of at the moment: Connor’s technology isn’t likely to become obsolete for a while, and Hank is a respected member of the city’s justice system, and your preexisting acquaintance is an incredible benefit. It would be tough to find another trustworthy pair of candidates.

Please take as much time as you need to decide. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Dr. Samira Rosen

The room fell silent. Connor scanned the email over again, committing it to memory, and played it back in his head. The faint thumping of Sumo’s tail on the carpet in the living room brought his focus back in time to realize the message and HUD had minimized and Hank was looking at him with a complex expression. (Confusion?) “Would you to hear it again?” he asked.

“Hell no. That technobabble won’t clear it up.” Hank took a long drink from his mug, still staring at Connor, as if looking for something. (Reaction expected?)

A search of the signature turned up thousands of articles and hundreds of papers. “Since Kamski’s departure, Dr. Rosen has been considered one of the brightest minds at CyberLife,” Connor explained. “To have received a notice from her is a remarkable offer to be seriously considered.”

“Oh, yeah?” The mug hit the tabletop; it would’ve spilled over it if wasn’t empty. Hank leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “An offer to what, though? To rip out my soul? To rip out your soul, just to throw them about?”

“Technically, souls haven’t been proven to exist—”

“Exactly. They don’t know, and yet they’re fine with expecting us to dive under the bus for their freakin’…Freaky Friday here.”

“Today is Satur—”

“I know what fuckin’ day it is!” Hank sank back into his chair and folded his arms, a pose more suited for long-term complaining. “It’s these pretentious scientist types, thinkin’ they can email you on a perfectly fine morning and you’d do whatever they say. Like I’d just wanna stick myself full of needles of unknown substances at the drop of a hat? Ruin my perfectly good weekend by what, having an android uploaded into my head? Fucking-A….”

Connor pursed his lips. His fingers, suddenly itching for something to do, found a rhythm to drum on the table. “Not to undermine your characteristic skepticism, Lieutenant,” he said carefully, another search already up in the corner, “but advancements in surgery have been able to successfully transplant brains within the last decade, allowing one to continue life whilst inhabiting a new body. Given that this is a non-invasive procedure and that one of the parties is non-organic, it is already leagues simpler than human brain transplants.”

Hank scoffed. “You actually think this cockamamie shit could work?”

His head dipped into a slow nod. “The logic does check out.”

“Christ, Connor, whose side are you on? It sounds like you actually wanna go through with this.”

His fingers continued their beat. Did he want to? The logic checked out, sure, and it would most likely be successful, but it was still his choice to engage…. No requirements, no direct substantial benefit to himself, just…pure choice.

The chair creaked, Hank straightening up, his glare losing its edge. “Do… Do you want to do this…?”

“I….” What would it mean if it was successful? “I don’t know….”

His attention fell to his fingers, quickening by 5 BPM. Free personal choices were becoming much more frequent in his life, but this wasn’t just a case of if he wanted coffee, or which shirt he wanted to wear, or when he wanted to take Sumo for a walk; this was asking if he wanted to put his entire being on display in a test that will start to pick apart his identity as an individual and just might discredit the existence of his species. It was a thought that wasn’t designed to be in his program.

He heard a soft sigh and more wooden creaks. A moment later, his mug was filled partway with coffee (114°F). Hank poured the rest of the pot into his own mug, returning to his seat as he did so. “Your LED is going crazy,” he commented. “Haven’t seen it that bad in a while.”

He wasn’t even sure where to start. Connor took a half second to run through the message two more times, trying to pinpoint the root of his conflictions. “I think….” Badadum badadum badadum went his fingers. He started to get lost in their rhythm, their predictability. He stopped and wrapped his hands around his mug instead (now 112°F). “Dr. Rosen specifically mentioned what happens when a Connor model dies,” he said. Saying those words now made him feel…odd. Uncomfortable. “My memory is uploaded and reinstalled in a new unit. She’s right when she said that I still think of myself as me, not the third version of Connor. That what’s really me has been transferred from those chassis to this one.”

“And isn’t that enough?”

Connor didn’t want to see what kind of expression Hank wore. “There’s a room built into my software; a garden in my head. It was part of a self-regulating program to ensure that dealing with deviants wouldn’t also compromise me. That obviously didn’t work, and I haven’t been back since it failed, but…. There’s a graveyard there. I didn’t make it, at least not consciously. It just appeared. There are only two headstones, each with the name, model, and conditions of termination for the previous two Connors. But….”

He bit his lip. “If it were true that I am them and they were me, why are they considered dead when I’m still here?”

He didn’t expect an answer, but he looked up anyway out of hope. Hank wore a neutral expression (s͢t͘rai̛n͠ed҉ - not true). “God,” he breathed, “a graveyard in your head for yourself. That’s the most morbid thing I’ve ever heard.”

“But am I wrong?” He tucked his elbows into his sides and leaned over his drink, absently noting the 109°F heat source. The words spilled more quickly now: “Am I just what this system of electronics holds together? I had no problem uploading my memory before, but does that just delude me into thinking I’m the same Connor when I’m really not? That RK800 that took you hostage at the Tower had all my memories, but that wasn’t me. I wouldn’t have done that, Hank. I didn’t do that.” His program stalled, his vision glitching a few frames. “Ergo those previous RK800s weren’t actually me either….”

A hand hooked under his arm. “Up you get.”

Leaving the mug behind, Connor let Hank lead him to the living room where he was deposited onto the couch. Hank patted his legs as he dropped next to him, calling Sumo to pad across the room. “Pet the dog, Connor,” he commanded.

The order appeared as an overlay labeled PET SUMO. Connor obliged, cupping Sumo’s head in his hands and scratching behind both ears. Sumo sniffed his lap before resting his chin there. Such a simple existence, Connor thought, being pampered without a care in the world.

“I ain’t one for philosophical bullshit most of the time,” his companion mused, giving Sumo a few pats of his own. “I figure I am who I am and that’s it. I think my thoughts and Sumo loves me, so that’s all that matters, and the same goes for you. That Connor I first met may have had a different serial number, but he was a stepping stone to becoming the Connor you are now. And then that other RK800? All the substance with none of the swagger. That dick didn’t have a spark of life to be found. Your tech doesn’t define you, kid. There’s something else there.”

Connor’s hands had stilled, holding the dog’s ears. Sumo held his breath, unsure what he was waiting for, his tail beginning to sway back and forth. Instead of meeting Connor’s wide-eyed gaze, Hank smiled and ruffled his shaggy Saint Bernard’s neck. “You stopped petting Sumo,” he remarked.

“Hank…. Lieutenant, I—”

“And if you want to see for yourself without all that tech getting in the way, then…I suppose we can go get all science-y up in this bitch. ‘s not like I had any plans this weekend anyway.”

His eyebrows shot up. He turned to the side as much as he could with Sumo claiming his legs and almost stumbled over his words saying, “But this— this is a— an incredibly personal request, Lieutenant! It’s not just me, it would involve you, too, and I don’t know if I can force something like that on you just for my benefit!”

“Don’t sell your importance short.” Hank waved a hand at him, followed up by a half smirk. “And you’ve seen how many fucks I give about my health. You’d take better care of my body in a day than I have in years. Hell, it’ll be fun to hear what you have to say about the whole Human Experience, trademarked.”

Connor’s brow came back down to a furrowed state. “I didn’t know someone could trademark—”

“Just an expression, Connor. Now are you going to hurry up and get this ball rolling before I change my mind or what?”

“Wh— Right now?”

“Unless you have something else to do today.”

Not receiving any further attention from the android, Sumo left him for Hank, leaning sideways against his knees to better allow for back scratches.

Should he agree? He wanted to believe Hank, that he wasn’t defined by the machinery that kept him alive, and if he could exist outside of an android body, then that would be true. If it works, then it’s a temporary effect that will remedy itself; if it doesn’t work, then nothing happens. And he did have Hank’s approval. So… When he laid it out like that….

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Alright.” Connor squared his shoulders, blinking open his inbox. “There are few foreseeable downsides. The results may also be quite eye-opening.” The executable was attached to the email as promised, a tiny file that took only a second to download and begin running. He detected setting changes within his nanorobot synthesis chamber, adjusting the acidity and toxicity ratings for the next 0.3cc of nanites produced by tempering their chromium and overwriting their function with new instructions. It took fifty-one seconds, after which the nanites were sent to chemical treatment to be coated, sterilized, and mixed into the required solution.

A pop-up notified him of its completion. Connor flexed his hand, protracting a small needle from his fingertip. “Which arm?” he asked.

Hank stared at him. “That…wow. How long have you had a needle in your hand?”

“It’s always been there, Lieutenant.”

“Always been there. Of course.”

“As an investigative assistant, I have many features designed for on-site forensic analysis.”

“Uh-huh.” He pulled the sleeve of his T-shirt over his shoulder even as he scoffed, “All this fancy shit, and yet you still go licking things.”

Connor rubbed a bit of alcohol from his other hand onto Hank’s arm. “It’s the most efficient way,” he clarified for not the first time, injecting the solution into his upper arm.

“Sure.” Hank fixed his sleeve, running his hand over the pinprick of blood through the fabric. “Thirty years on the force dealing with heavy narcotics, and the only time I get hit with a needle, it’s for fucking vanilla science. How long until it…happens?”

Connor wiped his hands on his sweatpants. “Injections through muscular tissue take about five to ten minutes to reach the brain. It will take longer to conduct a brain scan and establish an EM field, though. I cannot be certain how long; it depends on how active the brain is at the time.”

A light bulb went off in Connor’s head, figuratively and literally. “Increased hormone production,” he announced, getting up to go put on his shoes by the front door, “should speed up the process. Activity will direct the nanites through the brain in an expedited manner.”

Hank cocked an eyebrow. “I guess that makes sense?” Sumo, curious, ambled over to Connor to sniff his shoelaces, freeing up space for Hank to prop his forearms on his knees. “Going somewhere?” he asked.

After tying two simple knots, Connor stood and opened his hand, revealing Hank’s cellphone dangling between two fingers. “More importantly, you’re going somewhere.” And before Hank could react, he flung open the door and took off running, Sumo bolting close behind.

“Fuck— Sumo!” Tripping to the doorway, Hank scrambled to get his own shoes, just barely remembering to grab his keys before he slammed the door behind him and ran. “Connor! Don’t just go like that, he’s not licensed!”

- - - - - - - - - -

Twenty-six minutes later, Hank collapsed face-first back onto the couch, out of breath, hair matted with sweat. “Jesus Christ, Connor, don’t do that again. I don’t need him getting lost. Or another fine for an unleashed dog.”

“My apologies, Lieutenant,” Connor called from the kitchen, refilling Sumo’s water bowl, “but adrenaline production was the most easily stimulated at the time.”

“Fuckin’-A….” Hank was still trying to catch his breath, legs weak from exertion. “I’m getting too old for this. Did it work yet?”

Connor left the bowl on the floor and went to the recliner to join Hank, accessing a map through CyberLife’s network of all active androids in the area. Connor appeared at the center, a dark blue point labeled ‘RK800 #313 248 317-53 Nexus-7’ on a grid of scattered greens and teals. The colors corresponded to processor generation, so Hank should have appeared as a white ‘unknown nexus’. However, no white dot was present. “Not yet, no.”

“Superb. In that case, I’m gonna go take a shower and rethink my life.” Despite the declaration, Hank didn’t roll off the couch and shuffle to the bathroom for another twenty-two seconds.

Late morning in their neighborhood was quiet. Cars wouldn’t start passing by with any frequency until midafternoon, and they were close enough to the city that wildlife was minimal. The only noise that filled the space was the squeak of the shower and the low thrum of running water. Silence like this Connor found both comforting and somewhat restless. Fewer sensory inputs allowed him to run in a sort of low-power mode; sensory detection only accounted for up to 6.3% of his total power consumption, so it wasn’t a huge difference, but in such a busy city, it was a rare treat. And yet, he felt like he should be doing something. His finger twitched. He didn’t have a coin on him with which he could calibrate (HIGH PROBABILITY: quarter left in kitchen); there wasn’t a pen within reach, either. The twitch didn’t appear as a servo misalignment—it never did—but he always recalibrated it anyway. The error didn’t seem to have any obvious cause, it just…happened. If he were human, he’d say it was just a restless tic. But he wasn’t human. That shouldn’t happen.

Connor looked at his hands. What were humans like? Essentially just organic machines: nerves received tactile signals from the environment to send to the brain for comprehension; certain muscle groups compressed to pull others, working in tandem for full movement; light reflected off of surfaces and passed through lenses to focus on the retinas to project an image to the brain. But there had to be something more. If his tech didn’t define him, then it didn’t define any android, which also meant humans’ organic tech didn’t define them either, so where does the difference between the two lie?

He stayed lost in thought, generating disproportionally more questions than answers, until Hank returned in a different T-shirt and jeans, drying his hair with a towel with one hand and waving the other in front of Connor’s face. “Still locked in existential crisis?” he asked.

“I suppose.” Not wanting to worry Hank again with his musings, he checked the map. The cached image appeared first before updating with the latest information, moving a couple dots and, most importantly, adding a bright white one in the center. “Looks like it’s working now.”

“Fan. Tastic. Don’t feel a thing. And how long will this last?”

“Six to eight hours.”

“Mmmalright. M’kay. Alright.” He draped the towel over his head and gave it one last fierce tousle. Then with a sigh, he threw it over the back of the couch and said, “Might as well get this over with while there’s still daylight.”

Connor shifted in his seat. “And you’re still sure you want to do this?”

“Kid,” —Hank returned to the couch for the third time that morning— “I’ve done dumber things for less of a reason before.”

Connor blinked. “I’m…not sure if I fully believe you, Lieutenant.”

“Just be glad you didn’t go to college.”

His interest was piqued, but he knew if he digressed the topic now, he’d find a way to talk himself out of continuing the experiment. “Well. I wish I could say this won’t hurt, but I honestly don’t know.”

Hank leaned back and opened his arms, palms upturned in an implied ‘this might as well happen’ shrug.

“Alright….” Connor felt restless again, only not just in his hands. He was anxious to find out what would happen, but at the same time, he debated leaving Schrödinger’s cat as is. If it doesn’t work, then what? He’s just circuitry? He gripped the armrest and hid the world under the android map. “I…just need to access the right unit through CyberLife’s network…,” he narrated. No turning back now. Selecting the white point ran his permissions before clearing access to the control panel. Buried near the bottom of the list was ‘Upload,’ with two simple fields he filled out with a thought:

Destination: \\:C

Origin: \\cnet\313248317_53\:C

[Upload data]

Uploading data to another unit will move all data, transferring access from current unit. Only one unit may be active with these permissions at a time to prevent network overwrite. [Proceed] Cancel

Warning: Destination is currently active. [Proceed] Cancel

Caution: Destination is detected as an unknown nexus model and may not be able to run all transferred program(s). Proceed Cancel

“…And upload.”

His HUD closed, all background processes saving and stopping. His body stiffened and lost feeling as motor controls and tactile responses shut down. His optics turned off before his eyes fully closed. His audio processor stopped, the buzzing aftereffect of residual noise quickly fading out. A system sweep catalogued and packaged all data to be sent as he felt a click—

[next >]

#Detroit Become Human #(though minimal game knowledge is necessary)#DBH #Connor RK800 #Hank Anderson #body swap #my writing #DBH fanfiction #wrote this last year but with everything going on right now I guess I'll spice things up and post this here #something for me to do

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chemicalmagecraft · 5 years ago

Text

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 20

We were gathered back in the arena field. Midnight explained to us how the next part of the sports festival would go. For the teams who won the cavalry battle, there was the combat tournament. The rules were simple. In each fight, we had to either incapacitate our opponents or remove them from the arena. And before the tournament, there would be other games that everyone could participate in. Even the tournament combatants could attend them, but Midnight-sensei suggested we not do that, because we should conserve our stamina. That really wasn't an issue for me, but I decided not to participate in those battles because it could be unfair to the others. Before we drew lots to see our placement, Ojiro raised his hand. "I'd like to withdraw from the tournament!" he declared.

"Oh?" Midnight said. "What brought this on? You do realize you're probably going to miss out on a chance to be scouted, right?"

He grimaced. "I don't even remember the cavalry battle. I don't want to move on to the tournament if I didn't even really do anything."

"Whoa, that's so manly!" Kirishima yelled.

The other member of Team Shinsou, Nirengeki from class 1-B, raised his hand. "I'd also like to withdraw, for the same reason..."

Midnight grinned. "I like your spirit! Alright, you two are out of the tournament! Now we need to get some students to replace them!"

After that, it was agreed that Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu and Shiozaki Ibara from 1-B would take their places. We all drew the lots, deciding who we'd fight and in what order. It was just my luck that I was in the first match against Shinsou. And then I'd probably have to face off against Todoroki after winning that...

"Midoriya, right?" someone asked me from behind. I turned to see Shinsou.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Ojiro's tail wrapped around my face before I could. "Don't say anything," he cautioned me. Shinsou snorted.

I removed Ojiro's tail from my face. "Because of his Quirk, right?" I asked. Shinsou stiffened. "If I had to guess, it's a mental Quirk. Some sort of mind control, tied to... people responding to something you say?"

He sighed. "Yeah, that's about right..."

"It sounds amazing for hero work. Too bad the entrance exam was robots, huh?"

Shinsou stared at me incredulously. "You... don't think my Quirk is villainous?"

I shrugged. "Quirks aren't really villainous. Well, if you have a sentient Quirk like Tokoyami's Dark Shadow that actively wants to be a villain then you could make that argument, but Quirks are normally controlled by the user. They're tools." I pointed at him. "If you use your Quirk for hero work then you have a hero's Quirk, and if you use your Quirk for villainy, then you have a villain's Quirk. Still, your Quirk would let you deescalate hostage situations and other villain attacks without having to fight, and even if you have to fight then there's always the possibility of a villain slipping up in the middle of battle. To be honest, I'd place a mind-controlling Quirk like yours pretty high on the list of Quirks I'd like if I didn't have mine."

Shinsou's face softened. "You know, Midoriya, you're the first person I've met who didn't call my Quirk villainous."

"You should probably sue your Quirk counselor for malpractice, then."

He chuckled, then turned around. "You're a good man, Midoriya. I won't bother you again."

"Wait." He stopped. "I think it's only fair if you know a few things about me. First, there's a pretty good chance, depending on how our Quirks work, that your Quirk won't affect me right or might even just fail to work on me."

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"My Quirk, The Gamer, works somewhat along the lines of RPG logic, meaning that among other things I have passive skills that grant me various affects," I explained. "One of them is Gamer's Mind, which came with my Quirk. It says that I have immunity to psychological status effects."

"I... see."

"I mean, I'll try not to get hit by your Quirk anyway because that's very unspecific, but I just thought you should know. I also have two other passives I think you should know about, Physical Endurance and Damage Reduction."

"So let me guess, physical attacks are useless on you."

"Not useless, but they do so little that to you it might as well be. Magical attacks aren't included in Physical Endurance, so comparatively speaking that's my weakness."

He sighed. "I guess I know what I'll be doing during the break."

I Observed him. "You have affinity for the sonic element, by the way. I'm guessing it's either because of your voice-based Quirk, or if any of your relatives have a more traditional sound Quirk, or maybe both?"

"So I have sound magic?" he asked. I nodded. "Good to know. Thanks, Midoriya."

"Was that really a good idea?" Ojiro asked after he walked away.

"Even with what I told him, he's probably not going to beat me, considering our stats and abilities," I said. "And if he displays more than just dependence on a powerful supporting Quirk, then he's more likely to get in the hero program."

"I guess..."

xoxoxo

"Seriously, are you two fucking dating yet?" Kacchan asked Tsu and Uraraka now that we were in the stands watching the pre-tournament game.

"What makes you think that?" Tsu asked, blushing slightly.

Kacchan raised an eyebrow. "Fucking seriously?"

Uraraka hid her blush behind Tsu's hair. It was easy to do, between Tsu having a lot of hair and the fact that Tsu was literally sitting on Uraraka's lap and snuggling up against her. "In my defense, I like body heat because I'm a frog," Tsu muttered.

Kacchan shrugged. "Sure, why not?" He then turned his attention back to me. He knocked on his seat in the passcode, so I invited him to my party.

acridThermogenesis: hey dont be mad

acridThermogenesis: but i may or may not have eavespropped on your conversation with half and half

acridThermogenesis: *eavesdropped

acridThermogenesis: what the actual fuck is my name deku

I sighed. I really should have noticed him. Actually, one of my elementals should have told me he was there.

conjuringGamer: Don't eavesprop on other people's private conversations, Kacchan!

conjuringGamer: This is your punishment!

acridThermogenesis: oh fuck you and your stupid references

conjuringGamer: How, exactly, do you get what this is a reference to anyway?

acridThermogenesis: fuck

acridThermogenesis: you

acridThermogenesis: and why the fuck did you never tell me that you were related to the ex number two hero

conjuringGamer: WDTAU

acridThermogenesis: the fuck

conjuringGamer: We Don't Talk About Undertow

acridThermogenesis:

acridThermogenesis: fair enough

acridThermogenesis: and in my defense

acridThermogenesis: half and half has been glaring at you for gucking ever

acridThermogenesis: 8fucking

acridThermogenesis: **fucking

acridThermogenesis: fuck why cant i type today

conjuringGamer: You do realize you used to be worse to me, right?

conjuringGamer: And I can certainly handle myself against Todoroki in a fight, if that's what you were worried about.

conjuringGamer: Or I could've just ran with Illusion Barrier.

acridThermogenesis: shit i dont know man

acridThermogenesis: stop busting my nub or whatever the fuck trolls say

acridThermogenesis: im sorry

acridThermogenesis: fuck it ill say it without the stupid accent so you know im serious

acridThermogenesis: I'm sorry, Deku.

conjuringGamer: Don't worry, I forgive you.

conjuringGamer: I was just messing with you.

acridThermogenesis: WELL DUCK YOU THEN

acridThermogenesis: fuck

acridThermogenesis *FUCK

I chuckled a bit. Annoying Kacchan was fun sometimes.

Uraraka Ochako: Um.

Hatsume Mei: Well this is awkward

Tokoyami Fumikage: I Think You 4cawt To 4emove Us 4om 4 Pa4ty, Mid4iya.

"Duck," Kacchan muttered.

"What?" Tsu asked. Uraraka snickered, then spat out a long strand of green hair.

xoxoxo

I walked down the corridor to the stadium. It was time for the first match. I took a deep breath, then felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see All Might in his emaciated form. "Good luck, young Midoriya."

I nodded. "Thank you, All Might." I turned back to the opening and walked into the stadium.

"AND ON ONE SIDE," Mic-sensei shouted over the roar of the crowd, "WE HAVE THE KING OF MAGIC, MIDORIYA IZUKU!" I walked up to the stage and saw Shinsou emerge from the other side of the stadium. "AND ON THE OTHER, WE HAVE THE ONLY STUDENT FROM GEN ED TO MAKE IT TO THE THIRD ROUND! MASTER OF THE MIND, SHINSOOOOU HITOSHI!" I looked at Shinsou's level.

Give 'Em Hell, Kid

LV 19

Shinsou Hitoshi

"No hard feelings, right Midoriya?" he asked me. I shook my head, careful not to talk. To be honest I was looking forward to seeing what he'd thought of for me.

"WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET'S START!"

Shinsou smirked. The roar of the crowd died away, replaced by a ringing in my ears. He started to walk forward, and I heard the sound of his footsteps over the ringing. It was very loud, almost like the sound was reverberating all around me. Before I could react, I felt like all my sense of balance was lost, and I had an extreme feeling of nausea. I clutched my stomach, trying my best not to topple over. "Neat, huh?" he asked me, his voice amplified like the sound of his footsteps. I grimaced. My head was swimming. "I got the idea from my mother's Quirk. She can disturb people's inner ears with the sound of her voice, making them disoriented. I figured I could mimic that with sound magic. Judging from your reaction, I did pretty well."

I braced myself on an air platform and gathered my thoughts. It looked like he was taking his time moving because he had to concentrate on the spell, but it seemed like he was starting to get more comfortable, so that might change soon. Tactician told me that the effect the spell had on me manifested in the status effect Dizzy. I used Healing Hands on my head, causing the nausea and balance loss to fade. The ringing stayed, though. It felt more like it was the medium for Dizzy than a part of it. "Sonia," I thought.

"No use, Izuku," she replied. "Can't work with magic sound."

"Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be that easy." I kept up the Healing Hands with my left hand, though I knew that that meant I couldn't use it for any magic aside from the healing spell.

"It looks like you figured out a way around that. I wonder if you can keep it up while fighting me, though." He raised his hand and snapped his fingers at me. I Flash Stepped out of the way of the resulting shockwave thanks to the improved reaction time my high DEX gave me, but crashed into the ground when I was struck with Dizzy again in midair. I groaned. Flash Stepping shouldn't have caused Healing Hands to fail... "Looks like your healing spell can't keep up with it when you go that fast."

"That's probably it," I muttered as I started to get up. I noticed my mistake when the ringing in my ears stopped. For a second I felt very faint, like I was about to pass out. I almost fell back down. The feeling passed after a second, with a popup saying that the status effect Brainwashed had failed to affect me because of Gamer's Mind. "Ah."

Shinsou smirked. "So you are immune to my Quirk, but it still stuns you for a second." The ringing returned, and with it Dizzy. I noticed that my Healing Hands had slipped when Shinsou tried to use his Quirk on me. I put them back up, keeping both hands up this time.

"Limit Break!" I shouted, the glow of my Healing Hands getting brighter. "Healing Fists!" I jumped at Shinsou.

"Wait, what?" Shinsou said, then just barely managed to duck out of the way of my punch. The effort broke the spell, making my hearing return to normal. "Right, that's it." He took a deep breath and screamed at me with sonic magic. The shockwave hit me dead-on, blowing me back a bit even though I'd braced myself. I retaliated with a blast of wind strong enough to blow him to the edge of the arena. With a small gesture, I had Dune shift the ground under him, dumping him out of bounds. "Dammit."

"THE MATCH IS OVER!" Mic-sensei shouted. "Man, what was up with Midoriya? Did he eat a bad omelette or something?"

"If I had to guess, Shinsou did something," Aizawa-sensei said. "He either found a new use for his Quirk or made some sort of disorienting spell."

"If it was magic, wouldn't there have been some sorta glow?"

"Not all magic glows, Mic. You know this. You've literally used non-glowing magic."

I walked over to Shinsou. "Sorry about that," I said as I offered him my hand.

He took it and pulled himself up. "I'll consider it payback for the ear assault. Speaking of which, how're your ears? Would probably suck if I deafened you."

I gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm good, thanks to my Healing Hands. Though you might want to test it again with me or Shuzenji-sensei around, if you're really worried about that."

He nodded. "Probably a good idea."

xoxoxo

After making sure that Shinsou wasn't hurt from when I knocked him down, I went back to the section of the stands where class 1-A was supposed to sit. Ojiro was waiting for me by the door. "Midoriya!" he shouted. "Are you okay?"

I grinned. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Deku!" Kacchan shouted from his seat. "The fuck was that?"

"Shinsou can use sonic magic now," I told him, then sat down next to him. "What you saw was him wreaking havoc on my inner ears."

"Damn." He chuckled. "So that was probably more difficult than your next fight's gonna be."

"What do you mean be that?"

Kacchan snorted. "We both know that between your ungodly physical defense and your elemental magic, the only person in the tournament who can match you in a straight fight is me, maybe also Uraraka but I'm gonna fucking destroy her. Half'n'half-"

"His name is Todoroki," I reminded him.

Kacchan rolled his eyes. "Todoroki might come close if he actually applies himself, but all he's really done is throw ice around. I'm guessing from what we already know about magic and Quirks that while Half'n'half's Quirk has ice magic acting to freeze shit, the ice itself isn't magical, meaning you can use an elemental on it easy. And even if not, can he really fucking put up with your bullshit as well as I can?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right..."

"And even though Tape Dispenser-"

"Sero."

"-might have a chance of winning against Half'n'half, can he even do a fucking thing to you?"

I thought about that for a moment. "It's probably arrogant of me to say that there's no way for him to beat me, but it isn't really likely, is it?"

"No fucking chance of that happening. Now shut up, the match is about to start."

Todoroki and Sero walked into the arena. As soon as the match started, Sero shot tape at Todoroki, wrapping him up. It looked like he was about to throw him, but...

Todoroki, without even moving, created the biggest wall of ice I'd ever seen with his Quirk, obstructing my view of the arena. It was so big that it cast a shadow over half the stadium, and Mifuyu told me the ice actually extended far above the top of the stadium. I scowled, my breath fogging up from how close the ice was to my face. "Kacchan," I ordered.

"Right." He summoned Pyra, and they started warming up the suddenly very cold area with light streams of fire. "You might wanna keep the water from drippin' on anyone, Tsu," Kacchan suggested.

Tsu just shivered and sluggishly buried her head in Uraraka's chest. "K-kero..." Uraraka wrapped her arms around her gently.

"Fuck. Right, you're a frog..." Kacchan sighed, then sent a few more flame strings around Tsu. "Deku, can you leave your water elemental here?"

I nodded, summoned Rayne, then slapped the metal railing meant to prevent us from falling onto the field. A microsecond's worth of Lightning Embodiment later, and I was on the other side of the railing and far enough to the left that I didn't crash face-first into ice. I stormed up to the arena, but looked toward Midnight before actually getting up on it. She was iced over...

"G-g-go r-right ahead, M-M-Midoriya," she shivered. I nodded and summoned Mifuyu and Blaise, who started helping Midnight, then stomped over to Todoroki.

"That was excessive, even for you!" I shouted, then shoved him away from Sero, who he was trying to melt out of the ice. With a gesture, I ejected him from the ice, grabbed him, then started warming him up. I checked up his sleeves and pant legs with probably a little more force than was actually necessary to make sure he didn't have any frostbite, then turned back to Todoroki when Blaise took over warming Sero up. "You do realize that your ice can kill, right?" He looked remorseful. Good.

"I was going to thaw him..."

I sighed. "I don't just mean Sero."

He tilted his head. "What?"

I stared at him incredulously for a moment before waving my hand in the general direction of the giant iceberg in the middle of the stadium.

"I'm aware that I used a bit too much force, but I made sure to stop the ice before it reached the audience."

"And if you didn't?" I demanded. "If you overdid it so much as a bit more, then people would have died. Hell, if anyone in the audience has a Quirk that makes them more susceptible to the cold, then they could be going into shock as we speak! I've got an elemental keeping an eye on Tsu, and Kacchan's keeping everyone warm, but that's still an issue!"

Todoroki blinked. "Oh."

"Why did you do that?"

"I was annoyed from talking to my father, and I took it out on Sero. I apologize."

I clenched my fist. "Limit Break: Sublimation," I intoned. My arm buzzed with One for All, and steam rose from it. Without even looking away from Todoroki, I swung my arm back, shattering the iceberg into powder with a combination of ice magic and sheer force. The powder was quickly vaporized by the vapor magic I'd also put into my punch. "I sympathize with you Todoroki, I really do. But if this is the way you're going to act then I'm going to beat you." With that said, I turned around and walked through the mist I'd created to get back to my seat. With DEX only a little out of human bounds, I vaulted up the wall to the stands, nimbly pivoting on the railing and landing back in the chair I was sitting in before.

"Damn, Deku," Kacchan whistled.

"How's Tsu?" I asked Uraraka.

Uraraka stroked Tsu's hair gently. "Tsu-chan fell asleep. Should I wake her?"

I shook my head. "It's probably best to let her sleep, at least for now." I turned back to Kacchan and Observed him. "Do you need me to restore your MP?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Normally I wouldn't take you up on that, but I've seen Uraraka training and I'm pretty sure that if she was one hundred percent and I wasn't then I would fucking lose."

Uraraka beamed. "Wow, Kacchan! That was basically a compliment! And it wasn't backhanded or anything."

Kacchan rolled his eyes, though he had a small grin on his face. "Fuck you, Round Face."

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #The Gamer Hero Deku #Gamer Hero Deku #GHD CH20

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pikapeppa · 6 years ago

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Online Dating: A Tale in Six Parts

A couple years ago, I wrote a personal essay for a book project for a friend of a friend. The project leader ultimately rejected my piece because it wasn’t academic enough, to which my response was as follows:

I then promptly forgot about it. But now I’m deciding to publish it here, because why not. So here you go: an autobiographical tale of Pikapeppa’s experiences with online dating. (Please note: this is MY personal experience with online dating as a cis straight woman, and is not meant to be representative of anyone else’s experience but mine, since I can’t knowledgeably comment on that.)

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Online Dating: A Tale in Six Parts

Online dating has been widely vilified, especially since so many cis-heterosexual women have such gross experiences with it: unsolicited dick pics, misogynistic insults when you don’t respond immediately, seemingly nice guys who either “ghost” or suddenly become perverts in the blink of a notification.

I’m here to tell a happier story of online dating, and how it restored my faith in my social skills, my confidence in myself - and how I learned a thing or two about relationships along the way.

Part I: Intro

I’m a shy girl.

Let’s be specific. I consider myself an introvert, or an ambivert at a stretch. I have an extremely hard time talking to strangers; I loathe small talk. At parties, my quietness has a direct inverse relationship with the size of the crowd I’m in: the more people there are, the less I say, until I might as well be a piece of furniture in the corner if the party is a big one. I’m most comfortable in small groups of four people max (including myself), and even then, I get uncomfortable if I’m the centre of attention for too long. I generally prefer to listen than to talk. My ideal weekend includes one entire day for recharging at home with just Netflix and my cat for company.

In January 2012, I moved to Montreal for grad school. When I got there, I knew nobody. I’d moved to Montreal wanting a change, as I’d lived in Toronto my whole life. But somehow in my excitement to move, I’d forgotten that a) I had no friends in Montreal and b) I hate talking to strangers and I hate small talk: the two necessary evils of Making Friends. I spent a solid six months by myself, exploring the city in solitude or hanging out in my apartment with my cat, increasingly hating myself for the fact that I had been living in this city for almost a year and still had no friends except for some casual acquaintances whom I’d met at a mingling party for new grad students. I have some embarrassingly angsty journal entries whining about how there must be something wrong with me, because what kind of person can’t make a single friend in six months of living in a new city? I can’t fully express my gratitude that one of my labmates, who was finishing her Master’s degree at the time, took pity on me and invited me out for drinks, eventually becoming my first good friend in Montreal and introducing me to many other amazing women friends.

Eventually I got into my social stride in Montreal. I had friends; I was satisfyingly busy with my graduate work; and I continued to enjoy relaxing with my cat. (I could write a whole chapter devoted to my mental/emotional well-being and my cat, but let’s save that for another time, shall we?) But as my thesis was wrapping up and I started having more free time, I realized that I was ready to add to my social life. I was ready - gasp! - to pursue a romantic relationship.

This was September 2012. By then, I’d been single for about two years, and largely happy without a partner. But aside from being busy with my thesis, there was another significant reason I had not dated anyone in Montreal: I didn’t know how to meet men.

Part II: The foray into online dating

Traditionally, people meet their partners through work, through common interests, or by bumping into them in bars. I wouldn’t be meeting anyone at work because my master’s degree focused on a topic dominated by female academics, so essentially all of my colleagues were women. My interests involved typically homebody activities like movies, reading, and cooking. And my carefully cultivated Resting Bitch Face usually deterred men in bars from approaching me (as well as my pixie haircut, which I purposely got in order to weed out the kind of shallow male who “only likes girls with long hair”.) The graduate community at McGill often had mingling or speed dating events; however, see above regarding my quietness in crowds and hatred of small talk. Long story short, the traditional ways of meeting men were out.

This is where online dating came into the mix. For me, it was a logical and practical choice. I’ve never been interested in casual flings, so I figured that online dating, especially from a paid website, would have a larger number of men who were looking for something more serious. Importantly, online profiles would also provide information about interests and sense of humour, which - praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster! - would mean that small talk could be avoided, since we could talk about common interests. And there was a final reason that online dating appealed to me: I wanted to meet someone whose occupation was NOT at all similar to mine.

Now, this might be a kind of unusual criteria to express for one’s mate. After all, there is a reason that many people meet their partners at work or engaging in common interests: these things provide a common ground for conversation and for connecting. But as much as I enjoyed research and had aspirations to eventually work in healthcare, I didn’t want to date someone who did those things. After all, I had moved to Montreal looking for something new, dammit! I wanted to broaden my horizons. I wanted a partner who could be my Aladdin and show me a Whole New World.

And thus my online dating adventure began.

Part III: The adventure begins

Everyone has different experiences with online dating. I will say this: I found it really fun and interesting. Importantly, it helped me realize that my social skills, in fact, were not total crap. Within two weeks, I’d gone on dates with a handful of nice, normal-seeming men from a variety of professions. Each time, I went home pleased that I’d had a pleasant, functional conversation with a stranger, without the situation devolving into awkward silence due to my inability to talk like a normal human.

The dating experience was also an important confidence booster. When you’ve been single for two years without any hint of interest from the opposite sex, it’s easy to start thinking you’re deficient in some way. With a handful of successful dates under my belt, I was finally starting to believe that my singledom really was circumstance and not social ineptitude. It also reminded me of something else I’d forgotten during the moping self-pity of my first six months in Montreal: given the right circumstances, I actually enjoy flirting. Dates were actually kind of the perfect social situation for me: one-on-one conversation with a person who you already have things in common with, and with whom you can practice your witty repartee? After two weeks, I felt renewed, confident, and like I had choices - a lot of choices.

Part IV: Disaster strikes (in the most inconsequential first-world-problems kind of way)

Another important role that online dating had in my life was that it led to my first experience of being hurt in a relationship. Here is how it happened: I met a guy with whom I had “chemistry”. Ah, yes, chemistry: that vague, indefinable concept that, in my case, really just meant I had met a guy I was really attracted to. We went on two really fun dates, and then spent a weekend together - and I, being naive, thought I had found my next boyfriend. But a few dates later, he suddenly (and apologetically and politely) said he didn’t think we should see each other anymore.

I was frankly crushed. I’d been incredibly lucky in that by the age of twenty-something, I’d never been dumped or rejected romantically… so this experience of rejection hit me hard. I cried. I drank three beers (a lot for me!) and watched The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with much maudlin relish. I blasted happy music to drown out my angsty thoughts, and I pow-wowed with my best friends to analyze and re-analyze everything he had said and done. And I was crushed anew when I went on the dating site again to see that he was still active. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to date; it was that he didn’t want to date me. And that really hurt.

Part IV: Wisdom

Ultimately, I’m thankful I was rejected, because I learned a lot of important lessons:

Don’t be tricked by “chemistry”! Rom-coms tell us that chemistry is the most important thing. It’s not. At all. “Chemistry” just means “immediate sexual attraction”. This is not a wise thing on which to base an entire relationship.

Rom-coms also teach us that a guy who doesn’t want a relationship will eventually come around if you are charming enough. This is not true.

Just because someone treats you nicely, doesn’t mean they want the same thing in a relationship as you. Listening to what your date is telling you - i.e. “I don’t know if I want a serious relationship” (yep, the guy who dumped me literally said this on our second date) - is very important.

Many newly single men just don’t know how to be alone, so they start online dating even if they aren’t ready for a new relationship… and they may not realize they don’t want a new relationship until after they’ve started one. The lesson here: be up-front about your relationship expectations/goals and candidly ask your dates about theirs.

Most importantly of all, I learned firsthand what it feels like for someone you want to not want you back. My taste of rejection was the briefest, most inconsequential taste - a week-long fling, compared to committed relationships or divorces. But it was enough to foster a stronger empathy for the pain of rejection and heartbreak, and I feel that this alone was absolutely worth it.

This list of lessons may sound skeptical or discouraging. But I actually found my new knowledge to be incredibly comforting. I now had a set of rules that I could use to better play the dating game - and this time, I was sure I would succeed. Armed with my newfound dating wisdom, I ventured into the world of online dating again, with a different site (a fresh start!) and a cautiously optimistic outlook.

Part V: The Artist

My second attempt at online dating, like the first, was fun. As before, I dated many nice, polite men and had pleasant, interesting conversations. And then I met The Artist.

My first date with The Artist, as I called him in those early days, was as pleasant as any first date I’d gone on. But he had this huge, uninhibited smile, and his laugh was larger-than-life and more enthusiastic than any laugh I’d heard in my life. On our second date, I told him openly that I was dating many people, but that he was my favourite so far. He smiled and nodded agreeably. On our third date, he kissed me… and without either of us saying so, we both knew our online dating careers were at an end. More than six years later, The Artist and I are engaged and living happily with our Playstation, our cat, and some gently wilting plants.

Yes, I just summarized my relationship in a single paragraph. But my goal here isn’t to wax poetic about my fiancé. It’s to point out that without online dating, I would never met him. He works in a completely different profession from mine, and at the time that we met, he lived and worked in different neighbourhoods from me. Our social circles would never have overlapped. But online dating brought us together in more subtle ways as well. My positive experiences in early dates gave me the confidence to continue dating after I got rejected. My experience of rejection led me to try a different dating website - the site that he was on. And the lessons I learned from being rejected led me to a wiser, more open approach to dating and relationships in general - an approach that The Artist appreciated. Given this analysis, I would argue that online dating doesn’t deserve the credit for my relationship, but it does deserve the credit for pushing me out of my comfort zone and giving me experiences that helped me develop into the emotionally mature, pragmatic, and confident woman who eventually captivated a similarly mature and pragmatic man.

Part VI: Conclusions and caveats

My biggest caveat is that I used online websites with paid memberships. As I mentioned earlier, I figured that people who are paying are more likely to be looking for a serious relationship, since paying requires commitment, whereas unpaid sites would have more people who were dabbling or “just curious”. I never used Tinder or Bumble, where online dating is like a game. A friend also recently suggested that I may have had such an easy time with online dating because, in her words (NOT MINE), I am “a babe”. But if you take anything away from this essay, let it be this: online dating is not all bad or all good. Like old-fashioned dating, it’s a complex phenomenon that takes on the biases and colours that you bring into it. And like old-fashioned dating, it can provide new experiences that will let you learn things about yourself - and about love, and life in general - that you didn’t know.

Don’t let online dating define your love life. Let it be a tool to learn about yourself, and maybe, like me, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

#pikapeppa writes #fanfic writer's life #except not actually fanfic #autobiography #personal #original writing #writing #personal essay #pikapeppa reflects

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