#he's asexual your honor
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"I see, different universe then. I don't really know how these feckin time jumps or whatever work, just that it's pandemonium."
Neon blinks, shifts a bit on his feet. He doesn't waver, or at least not outwardly. Hopefully anyway. It's weird seeing a man who shares the same face as the one he's come to see as a younger brother act this way. Off-putting really.
"Respectfully, I'm not interested. Never have been really."
"So, got fecked, got mean, sold your soul typ'a thing then? Or just became like the rest of us pissed off cockroach motherfeckers?"
Cosmo - uh my Curly - says you're from a different universe? Timeline? I suppose it doesn't particularly matter in the end. You certainly look a lot rougher than Cosmo that's for sure
- @neoninspace
“Rougher?” Curly smiled at the new face, amused. “Older, yeah. I wasn’t even a captain when I was his age, to be frank.”
The captain cupped his chin in thought. “Now that I think about it, I may be a little rougher. Or maybe he’s just nicer than the rest of us.”
He winks, his voice lowering. “But between you and me, certain men like me rougher.”
#neon reblogs#tw suggestive#suggestive#swearing tw#ooc tags:#he's asexual your honor#sorry for neon's language he absolutely will swear again
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OUT NOW only on Voxtek+ Premium: "The Rizz Demon strikes again!"
(…or "the moments from 666: Live On Air! by @prince-liest that had no reason being this funny.")
⚠️ Horny demons ahead (kinda) ⚠️
Anyway, excuse me if I mixed up the scenes where Alastor’s supposed to be more/less dressed, I can’t keep up with his undressing policy in the series, but I think it’s always funnier when he’s all buttoned up.
Edit: more Alastor in the dress! Yay!
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin vox#vox#radiostatic#onewaybroadcast#princeliest#aroace alastor#one sided radiostatic#fanfic art#aromantic alastor#asexual alastor#I almost didn’t include the last panels because of how long it took to figure out Alastor’s new hair#but he’s gorgeous your honor#there’s no way back now I’m hooked#poor vox#vox’s insides are human flesh mixed with my cable management skills
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my faves (i have now unlocked a new era of art since i am now conscious)
(ive never actually drawn rin before welcome to my art world rin)
(i only just realised i flipped rin and never flipped her back so ignore that)
#team minato#rin nohara#obito the goat#obito fanart#kakashi fanart#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#i like to think that obitos sharingan also got crushed 😭#hes now blind and depressed#i also like to think that he started getting grey hairs in that damn cave#so now his hair is more of an ashy black#I LOVE HIS SCARS SO I DRAW THEM LIKE HIS HEAD ACTUALLY GOT CRUSHED#not just lines#kakashi gotta be the most agender asexual fucker out here#yes your honor they are a polycule
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nsfw BingQiu headcanon
Idk if this is a safe space to let out the freak living inside me but I need a fic where bingmeified LBH squirts while topping. Like, if there's a top I would like to see squirting, it's LBH. He has the perfect flavor of patheticness for it; just thinking about him all embarrassed and flustered, thinking he lost face in front of his shizun 😫🤌🏽✨ majestic
#funny thing is: i'm asexual AND a lesbian#LBH my lil hydrogen bomb i love u so much#only good things for lbh#even if said things make him cry a little#i know his are cocodrile tears the majority of the time but wouldn't it be funny if he ACTUALLY cries#sqq is surprised at first but secretly delighted nonetheless#they're freaks your honor#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villian self saving system#luo binghe#bingqiu#luo bingmei
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✨ace✨ bodyguard, you say? 😳
#trigun#vash the stampede#he’s asexual your honor#acespec vash my beloved#twirling my hair kicking my feet
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Idk why, but my love for Edgeworth came back-- I have the urge to draw EVERYTHING (I haven't thought about him since high school LOL)
Me and my bro were reading his wiki and apparently he's been called a "pretty boy" 👁👁 Also, he talked about how he never intends on getting married? Ace Attorney.
Link to help Palestine and other resources! 🇵🇸
#he is asexual your honor#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#ace attorney edgeworth#fanart#art#digital art#SinnaArt#pretty men are my weakness#🏃♀️🏃♀️💦
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Aro spec andrew and ace aaron
Best twins
#twinyards#their names don’t both start with a for nothing#I think Andrew’s demiromantic#but def thought he was just aro before neil#and Aaron’s ace and kinda neutral about sex#trans twinyards#minyard twins#demiromantic andrew minyard#asexual aaron minyard#trans aaron minyard#trans andrew minyard#their the best your honor#I’m having Feelings about them again (the feeling that no matter what I will never have that closeness with my family ahahaha) it’s fine#anyway the twins make me incredibly depressed and happy all at once#andrew minyard#aaron minyard#aromantic#demiromantic#asexual#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#the raven king#the king’s men#the foxes#aftg trilogy#andreil#kevaaron
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Gay.
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>sees a blog about my blorbo
>Me: is it daddy or cringe?
>they don't understand
>explain difference with charts and graphs
>them: it's a good blog sir
>check out the blog
>it's daddy
#idk maybe its the asexuality acting up#but i cannot with these sexy moodlighting screengrabs of these vampires#thats not him your honor thats what he plays on tv#the real him is trying and failing a stealth check fifty times
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!🌈🎉👬🌈🎊
#vincent and loomis#loomis fernald#vincent buchanan#my art#doodle#sketch#gay#digital art#loomis is gay#vincent is gay#pride#happy pride 🌈#lgbtq characters#lgbtqia#to clarify#lom (blond) is trans and gay/bi/pan who knows#vincent is a demiboy (but he doesn’t really know it yet) and a homoromantic asexual#theyre in love your honor#ocs#shared oc#my oc and not my oc#otp#pride art
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[yells from the rooftops] TELL ME ABOUT CHARACTERS YOU THINK ARE ASPEC PLS PLS PLS
#i am so fucking serious right now you all better rb this and explain your headcanons in EXTENSIVE detail#i’ll go first! ive done this before but a refresher is always nice :)#charlie kelly is so fucking aroace. the ace part is basically confirmed by some deleted scenes and the aro part is like. i mean have u seen#his relationship w the waitress. c’mon now. speaking of sitcoms#jeff winger is aroallo! i think this is very sexy of him and also explains a lot and also also allows me to ignore jeffannie. yippee!#medic tf2 is aroace. that’s right. i said it. yes im leaning into the weird little aspec mad scientist trope. what of it.#(additionally i also think sniper and engie are probably aspec somehow :))#i’m the no. 1 aro joey tribbiani truther. we all know this#ellie sattler is asexual because she is the first strong lady character i ever looked up to and this is the highest honor i can give her#JO MARCH AROACE REAL. she made me cry in that movie fr she’s jusy like ME !!!!!!!!!#this is such a deep cut but holland march is arospec and jackson heely is acespec#cameron frye is aroace-spec. he’s literally me fr. god.#aro#aromantic#arospec#dogg.txt#asexual#aspec#ace#aroace#alloaro#acespec#adding to this: roman roy is aroace(spec?) as well. this is bc i said so. and also have you seen him#ADDING AGAIN i posted on main abt this but i’ve been passively observing roomie’s jjba rewatch n jotaro is 1000% aroace liiike aint no way
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A brief rest from the horrors. Well, for one of them, at least.
#your honor i love them#please let them have some peace#she's gotten used to his snoring by this point#which he does#loudly#oc art#my ocs#clover's doodles#clover's art#my art#clover's ocs dilemma#clover's ocs#horror art#original characters#asexual characters#ace characters#qpr pride#qpr#lgbtq horror#queer horror#independent artist#small artist#Dilemma Ex Mortis#Dilemma Ex Mortis Posey#Dilemma Ex Mortis Jensen
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Lowest effort meme for Proud Pedros 8 & 9
Buddy's shirt is the demimasc flag! :)
#My Friend Pedro#My Friend Pedro AU#Unaware Eldritch God AU#Buddy#Time God AU#Timey#LGBT+#trans#transgender#MLM#gay#demimasc#asexual#Pride Month#Buddy is so flirty every day he sometimes forget he ain't straight#and yes they're dating your honor#anyway#toodles
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Sonic X beginning airing (in Japan) on International Ace Day is not a coincidence.
#he is ace spec your honor#and I love that for him#half joke#Sonic the hedgehog#asexual#ace#aroace#gray ace#demisexual#asexual spectrum
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I think in honor of pride month and also in general forever we should stop trying fit queer people into the identities we think they should call themselves.
And I know no one is going to see this because no one ever does but I'm going to talk about it anyway because this is important.
Bisexual doesn't mean you don't date trans people, it doesn't mean you like men and women, it doesn't mean you can't have a preference. Someone can identify as polysexual or bisexual or omnisexual and have no preference and you don't get to say that that means they're pansexual. Because no, if they don't identify as pansexual then they're not pansexual.
Transmasc doesn't mean you use he/him pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a man. Transfem doesn't mean you use she/her pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a woman. You can be nonbinary or genderqueer or agender or any gender that isn't binary and not use they/them pronouns. You can use any of those labels and still identify as a man or a woman. You can use different pronouns than is typically used for your birth sex and not consider yourself transgender. People can be gender non conforming and not he trans. People can be trans and not gender non conforming.
A trans man can be fem. A trans woman can be masc. Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people are people, they deserve way more attention than a way to one up transphobes. Intersex people face discrimination and body altering surgeries without their consent and then are only ever talked about to say "some cis women have penises" or "some people have an extra x chromosome" and then we never talk about the struggle they face as part of the queer community.
Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. Some aces like sex, some aces are repulsed, some aces only experience sexual attraction to one person or once in their life, some aces need a deep emotional bond, some aces their attraction changes. Some aros change identities. Some aros are repulsed by romance unless it's a fictional character. Some aros have romantic feelings until they get to know someone. Some aros crave a romantic relationship but never have romantic feelings. You don't get to say someone isn't asexual or aromantic enough.
Asexuality and aromanticism is having a unique relationship with romance or sexual feelings and impulses. Someone who is transgender has a unique experience with gender. You don't get to decide that they don't have a unique experience. But guess what? You don't get to decide if they do either. Someone can have a unique experience and still not identify as asexual aromantic or transgender. You can cross dress and still fully feel like a man. You can use he/him pronouns as a cis women. You can have trauma around sex and not identify as asexual. You can never have a romantic relationship and not identify as aromantic.
You can have "contradicting" labels. I don't know as many of these because I don't personally identify as any but please fell welcome to add in reblogs. There are trans men lesbians and gay women. There are sex loving asexuals. I know there are others I just genuinely am not educated enough.
YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE SOMEONES LABELS
ANYONE CAN EITHER IDENTIFY OR NOT IDENTIFY AS QUEER
Please feel welcome to add anything in reblogs. I'm sure there's things I've missed. I haven't talked about neopronouns I haven't talked enough about "contradicting" labels. I haven't talked about queer platonic relationships or kink or polyamory or enough about intersex people or pronouns vs gender. There's so much important things but at the end of the day it's just so important to not choose other people's labels.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtqia#pride#pride month#bisexual#transgender#intersex#asexual#aromantic#pansexual#lesbian#gay#nonbinary#genderqueer#agender#omnisexual#polysexual#polyamory#queer community#lgbt pride#lgbt community
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Their Reaction to Your Spotify Wrapped
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in honor of wrapped day!!! this idea came when talking with @axel-skz one of my fave friendships made in 2024. i hope yall enjoy cuz it was hella fun making this.
Warnings: Slight suggestiveness, Slight cussing, mention of afab! reader (ovulation), mention of pornography (in a joking manner).
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Chan
The minute you pulled up your Spotify Wrapped, Chan was leaning over to be nosy.
"I bet it all Stray Kids." He said, as the animations started playing." You gave a small nervous laugh, knowing that it wasn't going to be them.
"And I was rig- Billie? Eilish?" His face froze. "Billie Eilish, Tyler, the Creator...Stray Kids. We're third?" His brows furrowed and the corners of his smile twitched downwards. "Oh..." His voice was defeated and he looked at you with unreadable eyes.
"Yeah! Isn't that great! You guys are in my top five!" You said pinching his cheek lightly, trying to brighten the look painted on his face.
But it was no use since he was already spiraling.
"So do you- well, is it our music? Do you not like it anymore? Is it too repetitive? Or is it my production? Should I switch things up- like should I make more ballad? Add more orchestral elements? Or maybe-"
"Chris-"
"-more collabs? Maybe Billie would be open to- are our lyrics not deep enough?"
"Christopher-"
"I think maybe we need less-"
"CHRISTOPHER BANG!" You shouted through a fit of laughter.
He pulled back in surprise and looked at you with eyes as wide as saucers.
You took your hands, placing them on either side of his face. "It's not you or the boys, baby."
"Then what was it? Why weren't we number one?" He asked with a pout.
"You're third because I live with you." You lips upturned and Chan searched your face. "I don't need Spotify to listen to Stray Kids. I've got the worlds best producer humming in my ear while we fold laundry and wash the dishes. Billie and Tyler don't do that."
His lips parted into a sheepish grin, a small "hehe" slipping out of his mouth as his face scrunched into a boyish excitement.
"You think I'm the best producer."
"Without a doubt." You replied, kissing his cheek softly. "So stop overthinking. What matters is that your my number one where it actually matters."
Chan's ears flushed pink when you said those words, and he surrendered, opting to cuddle next to you on the couch as you turned on the TV.
"Alright..." He said as you clicked on a random drama. "But I'm still going to add some features on our next album. Just for you."
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Minho
"Y/N. You're a virgin."
You sputtered on your tea, getting it on to the pages of your book. "And?! What does that have to do with anything-" You asked as you turned around to see your boyfriend dangling your phone like it was contaminated.
Your Spotify Wrapped illuminated the screen.
"Minnie-" You reached to snatch your phone but he held it out of arms reach, his eyebrows raised in mock incredulity.
"What the hell are your top five songs Y/N?! CupcakKe?! Unironically?!" He looked at your screen. "Deepthroat...Its Hard to Say I Love You, parentheses, while you're sitting on my face...Slob On My Knob- and another CupcakKe song, Y/N are you trying to manifest something?! Because this is not the way!" He said in horror.
You gave up trying to reach for your phone and crossed your arms and huffed. "As my friend always says- celibacy either leads to being asexual or a freak. Its a closed way of thinking but can be rather true sometimes..." You muttered, turning away to hide the blush creeping up your face.
"I'm shocked." He said, looking through the songs again.
"Why? It's art."
"Art. Art? Stray Kids is art, kitten. Wanting to eat dick but not wanting to fuck up your nails so - and I quote - 'i pick it up with chopsticks' is not art. Thats basically audio porn."
"More like audio smut."
"More like absolutely fucking terrfying." He said looking at the rest of your wrapped in morbid curiosity. "Where do you even listen to this freakiness? At the gym? While cooking? In public?"
"Sometimes..." You said shrugging and deciding to own it. "Its empowering."
Minho dramatically handed your phone back to you, giving you the longest and hardest side eye ever. "Your a completley different person. I've never been more afraid of you in my entire life. And I've seen you drive."
You took your phone, his words giving you and idea.
A devious smirk lit up your face.
Minho watched you in curiosity as you set your phone down. "Baby..." You started to laugh, heading to the living room. "What are you plotting-" Your eyes zoned in on the Alexa and Minho's eyes widened as he replayed his words.
"Alexa-"
"Baby no-"
"Play Drive by Stray Kids"
"Jagiya no-"
"Now playing Drive, by Bangchan and Lee Know-"
"Alexa no! Stop don't play that!"
"-feel the heat inside. Baby, baby we gon' do this day and night-"
"Enjoy your own art, baby!" You said kissing, him which in habit he leaned into before yelling at Alexa frantically.
"Alexa! Stop! Cancel- Delete Y/N's existence!"
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Changbin
"So..ITZY is your number one?" Changbin asked you, an unreadable look on his face as he stared at your phone. "Then NewJeans, TWICE, Blackpink, and aespa?"
"Yes..."
"And Stray Kids didn't even make it to your top five?"
"Yes...?"
There was a moment of silence, and Changbin looked up at you.
Your heart thudded in your chest, and your mouth felt dry. "Are...are you mad?"
Changbin set your phone face down and stepped towards you. "Mad? Mad?" He asked, his voice slightly elevated.
You opened your mouth to say something- to apologize or ask him to not be too angry but instead you were shocked when he trapped you in a hug and lifted you; spinning you around in a tight hug.
"I'M ECSTATIC!" He said, setting you down, and almost vibrating from happy energy. "Why would I have reason to be upset?"
"Because you weren't on my top five. Since your my boyfriend I thought that would make you-"
He shook his head, placing his hand out and closing his eyes. "Its a sign." He said in a philsophical whimsy.
"...What?"
He opened his eyes looking into the distance romantically. Then extending his arms in a dramatic flourish he painted the picture.
"You like girl groups. Meaning you're clearly meant to be with me."
You looked at him in a confused wonder.
"Think about it. I'm the ultimate baby girl. ITZY was number one. Who is close to ITZY? Me, Seo Changbin, your boyfriend. Subconciously, your soul has been telling you I'm the one for you all along." He said looking at you with a cheeky grin.
That made you laugh, your nerves leaving you.
"Binnie I think that has to be the most unhinged logic I have ever heard!"
"But it makes sense. The music reminds you of me. The energy scream 'Changbin'." You could almost imagine the sparkles around his name. "Cute, charismatic, adorable. The visuals- the duality. Me. Changbin." He looked at you with an exaggerated smolder.
He pushed you onto the couch gently, attacking you with tickles.
"Bin- you're- riDICuLOUS-" You squealed, as his fingers flew around you.
"No I'm not!"
"DelusionAL-"
"Never!"
He strengthened his attack until you could barely breathe you were laughing so loud- wondering why you thought someone like Changbin would be upset at something so meaningless.
"Even if I was, you would love me nonetheless!" He stopped his tickles, he blew a rapsberry on your neck and peppered you face with a few kisses. "And you'd have to deal with it 'cause your stuck with me forever."
"Forever?" You asked, a radiant smile on your face as the last of your giggles died out.
"Yes forever." Changbin replied, plopping down on top of you, planting one last firm kiss on your lips. "ITZY said so."
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Hyunjin
"Beethoven? BEETHOVEN?"
Hyunjin looked at you, his jaw nearly on the floor. When he asked you who your most listened to artist of the year was, he wasn't expecting to hear a classical composer leave you lips.
"Yes. Beethoven. Followed by you guys."
"N-n-n-n-no. No. Nope, no. Nnnnnn...nono." Hyunjin said shaking his head. "Run that back."
"Beethoven then-"
"Y/N-ah." He said with a serious look. "You mean to tell me...Beethoven- an old dead guy - was favorite over the band your loving, hard-working ALIVE and BREATHING boyfriend is a part of?!" His eyes narrowed in disgust.
"Well if you put it like that-"
He flopped dramtically onto the couch. "How am I supposed to tell the guys you chose a decomposing man who sits there- uh...metaphorically- and collects streams; over your boyfriend and his bandmates who work day and night, through blood, sweat and tears." He throws his hand over his forehead. "Its such a disgrace."
"Hyunnie, I think that Beethoven would have words for you if he was here." You say through a chuckle.
"Well he may have words for me, but I have no words for you." He said huffing dramatically, zoning in on Kkami who was sleeping peacefully. Hyunjin stands and scoops him up, burying his face in the poor, startled dog's fur.
"I can't believe you and your dramatics." You say walking up to him and putting your hand on the top of his head.
"C'mon Kkami. It's just me and you now buddy. We're boycotting Y/N-ie."
You rolled your eyes, letting out a snort. "You're a drama king, Hyunjin." You said, your eyes trailing to Kkami who looked between you and Hyunjin in an unconcerned sleepiness.
"Y/N clearly doesn't love us anymore."
Kkami looked at Hyunjin, then looked at you and then back at Hyunjin, then cocked his head; almost as if he understood the absurdity of the situation.
"You're insufferable." You flicked your boyfriend's nose, and stole the dog from his arms. "Beethoven is my study music. It helps me focus."
"So you're saying we're distracting?" Hyunjin takes Kkami out of your arms. "Don't talk to me or my dog ever again." He flips his hair and buries his face once more in the small dogs fur, the later shooting a look that seemed like an SOS.
"You're being so extra." You sat on the couch, patting the spot Hyunjin occupied only a minute ago.
"Oh, am I?" He asked, lowering himself next to you, a playful pout on his lips. Kkami immediately rushing towards the far end to resume his nap.
"Unbearably so." You whispered against his lips. "And for the record, Beethoven doesn't make songs that make me want to cry like 'Cover Me' or songs I want to scream at the top of lungs like 'God's Menu'."
"You really like Cover Me that much?"
"Mm. Obviously."
"Fine, fine. I forgive you. But only because I'm way to pretty to hold grudges."
You roll your eyes, but can't help the smile that forms.
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Han
Han peered over your shoulder, his eyes widening as he looked at your Spotify Wrapped.
“Y/N... baby, angel, love of my life...this... this...is your Wrapped?” he asked, a mix of disbelief and amusement in his voice.
You glanced at him, not anticipating the reaction. “Yeah, it’s my Wrapped. What’s wrong with it?”
Han let out an exaggerated gasp.
"Jagiya...Taylor Swift? Olivia Rodrigo? Sabrina Carpenter?” He placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “You’re telling me I’m dating someone who has these as their top artists?” He blinks at you.
You blinked at him back incredulously. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Everything!” Han said, his voice playful but slightly elevated. “I thought you were cooler than this, Y/N! You’re too good for this mainstream pop stuff. You deserve better! To think you've never experienced more than that bubble...my heart is breaking."
You couldn’t help but chuckle at his intense reaction. “I listen to your music as well! Besides...I like what I like? Why do you care so much?” You retorted.
“Because,” he said, suddenly serious, “I’m trying to help you, babe. Spotify Wrapped is like a doctor basically, it gives you a diagnosis. You’re... basic. Heartbreakingly basic. I'd be okay if you had at least one quirky artist but your last artist is Playboi Carti which knowing you, you played his music on repeat while you slept so your wrapped could seem at least a little cool."
You let your eyes land anywhere but him, knowing he clocked you on that one.
"I’m going to save you from this madness.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Am I really that boring?”
Han shook his head, his expression turning playful again. “No, no. Not boring, just undiscovered. You could be listening to something way cooler- something with depth! I’m dating someone who only listens to pop queens when you should be out here vibing to underground, avant-garde...I don’t know, maybe like, 90s rock or something? You seem like you could rock with that to be honest?”
“90s rock?” you echoed, trying not to burst out laughing.
“Yes! You need to broaden your horizons!” Han continued, clearly loving the moment. “I’m not mad that Stray Kids aren’t number one, I mean, that’s whatever, you literally can have a private show whenever you want. BUT I’m honestly a little teensy weensy upset I’m dating someone with such a copy and paste taste. Come on, babe! I expected better! Especially when you're dating a member of a band that has a wide range of talent. I mean you can literally ask me or any of the guys and you'd get a shit ton of different recs. You have an entire library of musical knowledge at your disposal. That's like having 100 flavors of icecream and choosing vanilla.”
You grinned, poking him lightly. “Okay, I get, I get it. But just so you know, you're still number one in my life, even if its not represented in my music choices."
Han’s eyes sparkled as he leaned in, ruffling your hair with a grin. “I’ll fix that, don’t worry. We’re going to go on a musical journey. I’m making you a new playlist. And I'll have the rest of the memebers make you playlists as well. You’re going to listen to some cool stuff, baby, and by next year’s Wrapped, you’ll be so hip that even I’ll be jealous.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” you said, laughing. “I kind of like my basic pop playlists.”
“Well, you will like my playlists,” Han said confidently, leaning back with a smug smile. “Trust me, love. I’ve got you covered. You’ll thank me later, once you realize just how much better music can be than the top 40."
You laughed, shaking your head. “Alright, alright, I’ll give it a shot. But only if you don’t judge me when I still go back to my pop queen playlist sometimes.”
“I’ll never judge you,” Han said, giving you a sweet smile. “I’m just here to help you reach your full potential as a music lover. Open your world up a bit. Change your life.”
You poked his side playfully. “You’re so dramatic, but I love you.”
“I know you do,” he said with a grin, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Now, get ready to say goodbye to those mainstream artists and hello to your new musical future.”
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Felix
Felix is sprawled on the living room floor, legs stretched out in front of him as he pulls up your Spotify Wrapped on his phone. His excitement is palpable- eyes glowing, lips curved into a soft smile.
That is, until he starts scrolling.
“Baby,” he says slowly, his voice gentle but undeniably concerned. “Why is ‘Meow Meow Meow Meow’ your number one song this year?”
You blink at him from your spot on the couch. “Because it’s a bop?”
“A bop?” he echoes in a strained tone, as if the words physically pained him. He turns the phone to you, the incriminating title glowing on the screen. “It’s literally just someone meowing to 'What Was I Made For'. Why not just listen to the original version?”
“Actually it's AI.” you reply, in a matter of fact tone. “And because it’s genius. I love cats, and I love Billie. Win-win."
He tilts his head, blinking at you like you’ve just confessed to a crime. “Um...okay. Maybe Minh-hyung would like it, I guess? ‘Skibidi Toilet, Minion version’? Why is that number two?”
You shrug, trying to suppress a laugh. “It’s catchy.”
“Catchy?!” Felix’s mouth falls open as he sits up straighter, his freckled face a picture of disbelief. “Do you…do you listen to this unironically? Like...for your enjoyment rather than being funny?” His voice hold even more concern now, it wavering slightly.
“I guess you'll never know,” you reply smugly.
He groans, laying back down and holding your phone way above his face. “Let me guess, number three is-” He cuts himself off with a noise that’s somewhere between a gasp and a whimper. “Ten hours of washing machine noises?”
Now you’re laughing, tears forming in your eyes as he glares at you. “It’s calming!” you explain between giggles.
“And who’s number four?” He face morphing with increasing horror. “Laufey…cat version?”
You shrug again, biting your lip to stifle your amusement. “It’s Laufey but, you know…with meows. It’s cute!”
Felix places the phone face down on the floor, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s fighting a migraine.
“And finally, number five. Let’s see which masterpiece you deemed worthy to round out this absolutely deranged top five.”
The moment he reads it, he freezes. His expression morphs into something unreadable- equal parts betrayal and comedic disbelief.
“KSI,” he mutters, his voice flat. He sits up slowly and releases a breath. “Behind… the washing machine and cat Laufey.” He releases his words with a click of his tongue.
You can’t hold it in anymore, bursting into uncontrollable laughter as he stares at you like you’ve just kicked his puppy.
“You’re number six, though!” you manage between gasps, tears streaming down your face. As you joined him on the floor.
Felix clasps his chest, like your words physically hurt him. “Six?! Y/N, I’ve cooked for you. I’ve baked brownies. I’ve stayed up late listening to you rant about coworkers! And I’m sixth place? Under meme songs? I mean your entire wrapped in a compilation of memes. I'm surprised Symphony didn't make it on there.”
“It’s not personal,” you tease, wiping your eyes. “It’s just Spotify.”
“Just Spotify?” he repeats incredulously, propping himself up on his elbows. “I sing you to sleep on facetime, Y/N. I text you good morning and good night every single day. And you’re telling me I lost to Skibidi Toilet?”
You crawl onto the floor next to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “It’s okay, Lix,” you coo, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Maybe next year you’ll beat the washing machine.”
“Oh, I’m beating it,” he mutters, determination flickering behind his eyes. He grabs his phone, pulling up his notes app. “I’m writing a song that will sound good with Cat AI. With a bridge. And a rap section. And violins. There will be no way you won't like it."
You double over with laughter, and Felix can’t help but grin despite himself, his pout softening. “You’re lucky I love you,” he mumbles, pulling you into his lap.
“You’re my most listened to, most loved, and most wanted in real life, Lixxie.” you assure him, smiling up at him sweetly.
Felix sighs, but leans to kiss your forehead anyway. “Yeah, well, I know that.”
"Then why do you look so down, hmm?"
"Because I'm concerned, I might need to find you a therapist."
(<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>)
Seungmin
You sat on Seungmin’s bed, tapping through your Spotify Wrapped with a satisfied grin.
Just how you thought it'd be. Predicatable, but represntative of how your musical year went.
You were minding your business, about to share your results to insta when Seungmin sat himself on the bed next to you, snatching the phone from your hands.
The moment he saw the screen, though, Seungmin let out a surprised huff.
"Ateez?" he said slowly, his voice tinged with amusement and a slight possessiveness. You knew how he was when you stanned other Kpop groups. You had been with him for a while, of course you knew. “Oh, I get it now. You’re one of those people."
You sat up and looked at him. "What do you mean one of those people?"
Seungmin shrugged. "Its okay, you can admit that you like bands that perform like they're auditioning for a Korean rendition of Magic Mike."
Your eyes widened, but before you could protest, he fell back on the bed, holding your phone up like a damning piece of evidence.
“Don’t even try to defend yourself, Y/N,” he continued, the smirk growing on his lips. “This Wrapped is telling me everything I need to know. It’s basically the modern-day Rorschach test you know; and what it’s screaming is that you’re letting your ovulation and hormonal spikes curate your playlists. I bet you’re one of those people who stream music videos on mute, too, aren’t you? Just vibing to the abs and body rolls in crop tops.” His eyebrows quirk in curiosity.
Your jaw dropped as you threw a pillow at him, but he dodged effortlessly, tossing your phone onto the bed carelessly.
He quickly got up, maneuvering himself so he was in front of you.
“Don’t act so scandalized.” He leaned closer, his dark eyes glinting with mischief, as you leaned back slightly. “You can admit it- you like watching them dance half-naked on stage, huh? I mean, who wouldn’t? Factually speaking they’re...talented.” he said, dragging the last word with exaggerated emphasis. “Really skilled performers. Without a doubt. But it’s cute. You’ve got a thing for guys showing a little skin. It’s very...telling.” He gave you a small, smirk.
You fell back on your elbows, your face warm from his teasing, but Seungmin wasn’t done. He shifted closer, hovering inches above you, the bed dipping under his weight as he planted one arm beside you, effectively caging you in. The other hand rested on your waist.
“But here’s the real question,” he murmured, his voice dropping lower. “If you’re so into that, what are you doing here with me? Fully clothed, tragically modest... just a genius who writes incredible music and doesn’t need to flash his abs to be appealing. What a shame for you, huh?”
The corner of his lips twitched upward as he leaned even closer, the air between you charged. “Tell me, Y/N,” he whispered, his breathe tickling the shell of your ear. “Do I need to take my shirt off to compete with them? Or should I just show you what real...talent looks like? Would you like that?”
"I..." Your heart was nearly leaping out your chest, a warmth overcoming your body as Seungmin spoke. You couldn't deny how flustered you were.
"Listened to them for 1000 minutes? How 'bout I double that. You'd enjoy every second."
Your breath hitched, you, nearly caving in; but before you could respond, Seungmin nipped your ear lightly and sat back with a sly grin, leaving you flustered.
“Ah, I was right. Hormones. But don't worry,” he said lightly, brushing imaginary dust off his sleeve. “I’ll forgive you for now. But only because I find it hilarious that my perfectly curated playlists are competing with your...uh,..primal needs?” He shot you a wink, his smugness on full display.
And just like that, he stood up, stretching leisurely as if he hadn’t just thrown you into emotional- and hormonal- chaos.
With that, he walked to the door, pausing to glance back with a knowing smirk. "If you ever get bored of half-naked performances let me know. I'm here, fully clothed yet still 10 times more attractive. I could teach you what good taste in music looks like. I’d hate for your Spotify Wrapped next year to be just as embarrassing.”
He winked again, blowing you a kiss, disappearing down the hallway, leaving you a flustered, blushing mess on his bed.
(<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>)
Jeongin
You handed your phone to Jeongin, proud of your Spotify Wrapped results. “Look! Stray Kids is my number one artist.”
Jeongin barely glanced at the screen before freezing mid-scroll. His eyes darted back up to meet yours, wide with disbelief. “Wait... what?”
“Stray Kids is my number one! My boyfriend is my most listened to artist!” you repeated, grinning like it was the best news he could hear all day.
But Jeongin, to your utter confusion, looked horrified.
“No, no, no,” he muttered, shaking his head as he sat back on the couch. “This...this is all wrong. Utter sacrilege.”
“Sacrilege?” you echoed, frowning. “You’re in the group. Shouldn’t you be happy about this?”
“Y/N-ah.” Jeongin said dramatically, placing a hand over his heart as if he were physically in pain. “Do you not see what you’ve done? Look at your other top artists!” He gestured wildly to the screen. “It’s TROT. Literal legends of trot music. Song Ga In, Jang Yoon Jeong, and Na Hoon-a!”
“Yeah?” you said hesitantly, unsure of where this was going. “What about them?”
“What about them? What about them!?” Jeongin’s jaw dropped like you’d just said the sky was green. “They should be above us! Above me! Above Stray Kids! This is trot. TROT.” He pronounced it with the reverence of someone naming a sacred art form.
“But I like Stray Kids,” you said, laughing nervously.
“That’s not the point!” Jeongin stood up, pacing back and forth like a professor about to give a lecture. “Trot is timeless. It’s emotional. It’s pure, unfiltered storytelling in music. And you’re telling me you put us- a bunch of chaotic twenty-somethings who write songs about cheese and screaming—above the actual foundation of Korean music?” He stared at you as if you had 6 heads growing from you.
“It’s not like I ranked it!” you protested. “Spotify Wrapped did that for me! Blame them!”
Jeongin spun back to you, pointing an accusing finger. “Don’t blame Spotify. This is your fault Y/N-ah. You’re clearly not listening to enough trot if us noisy Gen Z - minus Channie-hyung he's like an old grandpa- beat out legends like Na Hoon-a. Do you even know how much soul that man has? How many hearts he’s broken with his voice?” He looked at you in complete seriousness. "Countless." His eyes shone with admiration.
You rolled your eyes, unable to contain your laughter now. “Innie, are you seriously upset that I listen to Stray Kids more than trot music?”
“Yes!” he declared with absolute conviction. Then, after a pause, he added, “Well...no. I mean, I love that you like our music, because that means you love me and my dream but...this is trot! It’s a different category entirely!” He threw his hands up in exasperation. “I need to fix this.”
“Fix it? Jeongin I already listen to a lot of trot. You see it on my top artists.”
He nodded solemnly, sitting back down beside you and grabbing your phone. “But you don't listen to it enough. From now on, we’re having mandatory trot listening sessions. Every week. Twice a week, actually.”
“Twice a week?” you repeated incredulously.
“At least,” he said, scrolling through your Spotify, curating a new playlist on the spot. “You need to understand why this is a crime against music. Stray Kids shouldn’t even be in the same league as these legends. We’re fun, sure, but we don’t make people cry the way trot does. I mean, do you cry when you listen to ‘Thunderous’? No. But Jang Yoon Jeong’s ‘First Marriage’ could make a grown man bawl. I'm that grown man, Y/N. I'm that grown man." He said his voice dropping to a rueful whisper.
You couldn’t stop laughing as Jeongin grew more and more animated, his passion for trot completely overshadowing any pride he might’ve felt about his own group’s success.
Finally, he looked at you with a small, satisfied smile. “Don’t worry. By next year, I’ll make sure your Wrapped is perfect. Stray Kids can stay on the list, but trot will reign supreme. It’s the least I can do for your musical education.”
“And if I still prefer you guys?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.
Jeongin huffed, pretending to think for a moment. “Then I guess I’ll forgive you...eventually. But we’re playing trot at our wedding, okay?”
You burst out laughing, shaking your head. “Jeongin, are you seriously bashing your own group right now?”
“Yah, yah,” he said, waving a dismissive hand. “They’ll understand. And if they don’t, they love me anyway. They literally wrote a whole song for me.” He smirked, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
You shook your head, still laughing. “Unreal.”
Jeongin grinned, adding a song to your new playlist.
“What’s unreal is how lucky you are to have a boyfriend who’s the best of both worlds- trot connoisseur and K-pop icon. You’re welcome.”
*edit*: but why is trot actually good...??? like i listened to it while writing this and...MYTRO...gonna stan when they debut frfr
(<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>)
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