#he's also one of my top faves from any series ever

[todayisafridaynight]

did you ever post your thoughts on shishido on here ??

if i did i dont think i said anything major beyond 'hes neat :)'

[harrywavycurly]

I know Lonely reader goes on Twitter and answers random questions! Could we maybe see some? Do you think sometimes she even asks Harry for his answer if a fan is wanting his opinion on something?🩷

Hiii lovey!!! Oh 100000% she does because I mean until recently she was just Harry’s bestie so I imagine she’s always been pretty decently active social media just making sure to respect Harry and Niall’s privacy of course! But she wouldn’t have any issue going on there and answering random questions, I’ll happily give you some examples!! 💖

-find all things for the Lonely series here✨

A/N: You’re doing an evening scroll on Twitter/X and decide to answer some questions and even get your fiancé to help on a few of them✨

Fan: is Niall REALLY the man of honor? What color is he wearing for the ceremony?- Niall really is the man of honor and sorry can’t tell you what color he’s wearing but I can say it’s not black or white✨

Fan: Fave era of Harry? Be honest👀- I met him in arguably one of his best eras his frat era but my fave was the long hair. He was absurdly good looking with it.

Fan: Did you steal his clothes when you were just friends? I’d have his whole t shirt collection- I did! I used to take t shirts but then I also used to “borrow” his fancy bomber jackets and even now they’re in my closet and not his😂

Fan: Would Harry ever write a song about you?- He said yes and then asked how do we know he hasn’t already? He’s always trying to be so mysterious🙄

Fan: Are you excited for the wedding? Is it in Italy???- I am very excited and also super fucking nervous? I think that’s normal though? But no it’s not in Italy, Harry lost that battle.

Fan: Have you and Harry kissed before?- I honestly love how nosey this is, but yes we have kissed a few times.

Fan: One thing of Harry’s that you love?- His hands. I know you all know why.

Fan: What made Harry want to be bffs with you after meeting?- He says my sense of humor and we just clicked oh and our banter was top tier. So basically I’m funny and he likes to try to argue with me😂

Fan: Do you really even love Harry??- Honestly? He’s whatever.

Fan: How did you meet Niall? Your friendship with him is goals- I met him after a show a few weeks after meeting Harry when he invited me to see One Direction perform and we just instantly go along so well! I love that dude so damn much. I’ll tell him you said that!!✨

Fan: How did he propose?- Very dramatically.

Fan: Oh god does Harry read these too now that you’re engaged? I’m scared he’s gonna see my embarrassing tweets 😅- Don’t be scared babes he’s a narcissist so even though you may find them embarrassing he loves them, especially your tweets about his rings👀

Fan: I can’t believe you’re going to marry Harry Styles😭- He can’t believe it either. Keeps checking to see if I’ve changed my mind every few days.

Fan: Tell me please does Harry do his own laundry?- He does when he has the time. He’s a big boy and even knows how to sort his colors from his darks and all that kinda stuff.

Fan: What side of the bed does Harry sleep on?- The one closest to the bedroom door and he says that’s a safety thing kinda like why he walks on the side closest to the street when we walk on the sidewalk. I don’t argue I just go with it.

Fan: How many people are invited to your wedding?- Not a lot😬

Fan: Are you gonna stop working now that you’re gonna be married to Harry?- Niall is that you?👀😂

Fan: Who has more clothes?- Harry. But I do beat him when it comes to books so there’s that.

Fan: HS4 coming at midnight??- Seeing as this was asked several days ago I think it’s safe to say no, sorry babes🥺

Fan: Fave Harry song?- Golden has always been one of my faves but lately I’ve been listening to Cinema a lot I think it’s the background vocals 🫠

Fan: Did you see Niall on tour this year?- I did, I was at both MSG shows and cried and then went with Harry to the show in Manchester.

Fan: When is the wedding?- Not soon enough according to my fiancé.

Fan: Memory with Harry that makes you smile?- Oh god there’s so many to pick from but probably the first time he FaceTimed me while on the road just because he missed me.

Fan: Are you writing your own vows?- Not sure yet, Harry wants to but then you know how he gets and I’ll be standing there for half an hour crying and I just think I’d like to keep it short and sweet but who knows.

Fan: Who’s the clingy one? You or Harry??- We both already know the answer to this question babes. It’s Harry.

Fan: I just wanted to say I love you and Harry💕- Awe and I just want you to know Harry and I love you too!!!

Fan: You two should have a show- I told Harry he should be on the Real Housewives but he told me no.

[kilesplaysthings]

boyfriend!Caleb ideas!! because i've been sick and he's been living rent-free in my head since he came out~~ i think he's tied for top fave with zayne now

(warning, this is VERY self-indulgent)

This is SWF.

boyfriend!Caleb who comes home from work the same time as you, who is happy to be the one who cooks dinner. is a master at meal prep. will begrudgingly let you do the clean-up afterwards because he finds you cute in the way you stubbornly insist he doesn't do all the work

boyfriend!Caleb who is more than happy to come with you to every late-night showing of the horror movies you've been super excited to see. You both were entranced with the film Longlegs and were freaking out over Nosferatu. the car rides home are always filled with you two gushing about the movie you just watched

boyfriend!Caleb who is also your video game buddy. you both play games together whether it's a co-op or an open world game. you both take turns playing through your favorite series, be it Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Dead Space, Fatal Frame, etc. Will happily take over playing for you if you get too freaked out playing a survival horror game, like Outlast

boyfriend!Caleb who is open to trying out different movies or shows you recommend, especially if it's something you tell him you think he'll really like. saw someone else's post saying he'd get upset if you watched an episode of a show you're watching together by yourself first, and that is SO TRUE. he'd totally pout about it

boyfriend!Caleb who jams with you to your favorite tunes while traveling together in his car. windows down, volume up all the way; just having a blast together with songs from your guys’ playlists or old tunes you guys recall from your childhoods.

boyfriend!Caleb who will fit in super easily with your family. Will gush over pilot stuff with your dad, your mom will dote on him even more than on you (and will even take his side on things sometimes) got brothers? is right there with them ranting and raving about sports they all like. sisters? he will care for and protect them.

And of course, if you’re not on good terms with your family, he will make sure they don’t cause you any grief. Ever. the guard dog mode will be ON.

boyfriend!Caleb who will always worry about your health, to the point of nagging sometimes. if you’re bad about keeping up with routine check ups, don’t worry. he’s got you covered. will be more than happy to schedule appointments for you if you don’t like talking on the phone.

that of course, also goes for your mental health. though, he knows well enough to leave that depth of care to the professionals. of course, he will always lend an ear if you need to rant or just cry about something. he’s there for you no matter what.

also will basically be your at-home nurse if you’re sick or injured. Would willingly take time off to care for you if you’d let him - even if it’s something as minute as a seasonal cold.

the biggest memelord. will share any and every thing he finds funny with you, no matter the time or place. you’ve got your own inside jokes and memes you share with each other that you guys reference and quote almost daily

The best cuddler. Will snuggle up to you like a cat if you let him. Definitely likes resting his head on your lap or vice versa.

Basically, he’s your best friend and someone who is utterly devoted to you and you alone 🧡

[musicalmoritz]

I would ask more but I forgot the numbers so uhm?? Every other number I haven’t asked but for TBHK??

Hehe ask and you shall receive😈🔥

the character everyone gets wrong

There are so many…Teru is a big one, most fans fail to see that everything he does is self-sacrificial and he is far from pure evil. No, Akane is not a sexual assaulter/harasser, and he has a personality outside of Aoi. No, Nene is not flawless nor a pick-me but she’s not intentionally awful either. Hanako is meant to be sympathetic, he’s not just a killer or a “yandere.” Aoi is more than her ships, that goes for both Aoinene and Terukaneaoi. Hakubo is NOT a groomer and yes he has emotions. Mitsuba is one of the kindest, most empathetic characters in the series. Kou is increasingly becoming more selfish and has quite a few faults. Sumire is her own character beyond all the characters people compare her to. Tsukasa has many selfless qualities and is not just an abusive murderer. Sakura is more emotional than people give them credit for. Natsuhiko is not purely silly but he’s not totally heartless either. Mei and Shijima are not the exact same, and they both have personality traits outside of yuri shipping. I could go on forever tbh

compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

*picks up sand and lets it fall between my fingers* I haven’t touched top/bottom discourse in so long…how have I lost the freak part of my brand…I’m the same person who wrote a fic for every day of Bottom Dazai Week. There aren’t many characters to pick from for this one since tbhk is set at a high school. I think I’m gonna go with Yako, I cannot see her topping because, well, look at her. That is a bratty bottom if I’ve ever seen one

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Already answered

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Already answered

worst discord server and why

I’m not in any discord servers

which ship fans are the most annoying?

Already answered

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Already answered

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Hmmmmm…I think I’m gonna bring up the Kou mischaracterization again, so many fans will die on the hill that he’s never done anything wrong in his life and I hate it. He canonically wants Mitsuba to depend on him to the point of being useless, and we’ve also seen him hold Mitsuba down and attempt to force-feed him. I’ll also say I don’t like the way the fandom handles the Sousuke vs. Mitsuba thing, they either view them as entirely the same or entirely separate when neither are true. They share a soul, but are different people

worst part of canon

I know I should say the twincest bait but I have a personal hatred for the scene where Hanako possesses Nene. Obviously the twincest thing is bad too but at least that has some plausible deniability yk. And they kinda stopped doing it at some point. Whereas Hanako SAing Aoi and Nene at the same time is an undeniable thing that happened on screen and was never addressed again. The fact that Kou didn’t help bcuz he found it hot also made me cringe. Idk I just wish the scene hadn’t been included, it was very odd. Felt like an excuse to throw in some lesbian fan service without committing to having lesbian characters

worst part of fanon

Already answered this

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

A total of 29 for all fandoms combined…I don’t have many squicks but the ones I do have are intense. It’s pretty much all just ships I don’t want to see. I have some ship tags that I unfiltered because I ended up liking them (TsuMitsu, Tsunene). But my current count is 29

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

FUCKING HAKUBO I love him to death. Tsukasa too but the Hakubo hate makes me extra irritated because it’s very obviously racially motivated that fans are unwilling to see him as an actual character and instead just shove villainized traits onto him in order to justify their hate. It’s as though nobody read his arc, or more like people did in fact read it but nobody even attempted to understand it because they subconsciously didn’t want to care about a black character. While he isn’t the only character to be called abusive, it has very different undertones with him due to the stereotype about black men being violent. Yes he does act violently in certain scenes but fans overlook why he does that, and the fact that he has very strict morals with him refusing to kill children.

There are many things to like about Hakubo, he’s one of the most well-written characters in the manga. First of all, his character design is very badass; I’m not into dudes but imo he should be the designated Adult Male Character To Simp For instead of Tsuchigomori (Teacher Amane is also valid). He’s got a sense of humor that fans don’t seem to pick up on, it’s cute to me how often he teases Sumire. His entire arc is marked with tragedy, the kinda angst fans usually eat up. He spent his entire life thinking he didn’t have feelings, and he didn’t realize he did until he was forced to kill the person who made him feel the strongest. I mean c’mon!! That is top tier angst. Arguably the saddest part of the manga. And the scene where he kills Sumire’s village to avenge her???? Easily one of my favorite scenes, it was so metal. He’s also got blorbo potential because despite being a literal god of death, he is ultimately Just Some Guy. Half the time just kinda stares at people. And also the dehumanization he went through at the hands of the Minamoto clan is my prime reason for hating them (aside from the main siblings and their mom). His story is so upsetting like this man has never had an easy life. And I just want to hug him. Guys please stan Hakubo he deserves all the love in the world

worst blorboficiation

I do not know what this means- ohhhhh wait it just clicked for me. Teru. So many fans dumb down his character due to him being “silly.” And don’t get me wrong, that is absolutely a side of his personality. He is very goofy and likes to tease people and canonically has an atrocious fashion sense. But some fans reduce him to those more comedic traits and ignore his flaws and trauma, and subsequently every other side of his personality. He is sadistic and charming and highly intelligent despite not being educated on domestic tasks. He may not be able to survive in like a regular house on his own but if the gang got stranded on an island together, he would be their leader. Multiple things can be true at once yk

that one thing you see in fics all the time

So not to come for my own gang but I’m a little burnt out on one-sided Aoinene, especially when Nene is fawning over some man instead. I know it’s more accurate to canon but since when do gay shippers care about canon??? We’re supposed to be the creative ones. I still enjoy those fics because people work hard on them but unrequited love is like my least favorite trope ever. Besides, we see one-sided Aoinene all the time. At this point, the trope is overdone. Let’s start focusing more on Nene’s side of things, I want to see her get flustered over her girlfriend. I also think it’s funny that Nene gets written as straight so often considering the fact that she canonically blushed at Sakura and called her a babe. Not to mention the queer undertones of her friendships with Mei and Aoi. She is more likely to be queer than Aoi so I find it weird that so many Aoinene shippers ignore that potential side of her character. Let Nene be the simp for once

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I can’t talk too much shit here bcuz unlike with fanfics I am contributing nothing in this area. But I personally don’t rly like it when people draw fem!Kou as super feminine. That is my butch daughter

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

One-sided Terukane. Just like with Aoinene idc if it’s more accurate to canon, I just can’t get behind it. Akane’s dilemma over falling for someone who isn’t Aoi is such an interesting concept, even if he eventually picks Aoi I’d like to see it explored more in Terukane angst. But ultimately I prefer fanon Terukane over canon Terukane anyways. I want them to be healthily married husbands

there should be more of this type of fic/art

Horror fics and any type of dark romance. They’re only rly common in this fandom among incest pairings which I don’t especially want to read about. And even then it’s all SA which isn’t very creative in terms of horror. C’mon guys, this is tbhk, we need to make our fanfics more fucked up. But like fucked up in a good way. I’ve read a couple reallyyyyyy good fucky Aoinene fics that utilize Aoi’s temporary canon death, usually involving her haunting Nene or Nene hallucinating her, and I would love to see more of that with them. Also more Mitsukou kidnapping and/or cannibalism fics please. More toxic yuri fics please. I am so tired of having to write all of it myself😣

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Aoimei!! We have semi-canon sapphics in this series and nobody gaf. Tbh Sakunene too bcuz they’re super gay. Usually fandoms go crazy over gay shit so whyyyyy aren’t we talking more about the lesbians??? Shippers in this fandom will bend over backwards to explain how Terukane and HanaKou are queercoded but when it comes to Mei and Aoi going out or Nene calling Sakura a babe, it’s near radio silence. Even the yuri shippers don’t talk about yuri that much. Do better/lh

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Tsumitsukou…I know they’re toxic as hell but I think Mitsuba deserves two insane boyfriends, I think he would love that. Wait hold on, idk why I felt the need to give a disclaimer. Forgot who I was replying to for a sec LMAO

part of canon you found tedious or boring

There’s actually not much I dislike about this manga. I used to get tired of the Misaki Stairs arc bcuz I reread/rewatched it so many times but it ended up growing on me. I don’t think there’s any arc or plot point that’s bored me

part of canon you think is overhyped

…Can I say the Yugi twins lore?? Is that allowed?? I love love love the ppl in this fandom who analyze it because they are so smart but I’m personally not as invested in it as the rest of the story. Again, I don’t necessarily find it boring, but there are other characters I want to know about more (Sakura and Natsuhiko)

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

The way everything connects back to the Minamoto lore!! Nagisa being related to Misaki and Kunishige, then the Yugi mom going to that same shrine for help, Nene and Aoi both being kannagi, Hakubo and Sumire and Katakuri’s stories. It’s so cool to me how closely woven together the plot is

ship you've unwillingly come around to

TeruAoi. I was such a massive hater at first because they gave big “that is a gay man and a lesbian” energy but then I realized that two things can be true at once bcuz within fanon exists multiple AUs and outcomes. Yes sometimes that is a gay man and a lesbian, but sometimes that is a happy bisexual couple. Sometimes that’s a happy lesbian couple. So many options. I also love their dynamic in canon, I choose to read their little love triangle with Akane as a polyamorous relationship and no one can stop me. I also love Aoi to death and think she deserves all the love

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

This is another one where twincest is the obvious answer but I have some additional ones as well. Any themes of sex in the manga. While it is valid to criticize the sexualization of teenaged characters, some fans take it to the extreme of denying or shunning any sexual themes at all, which happen mainly with the adult characters (aka Hakubo and Sumire). And also the discourse surrounding Mitsuba’s sexuality and the canon status of Mitsukou, which shouldn’t even exist. Mitsuba is gay, Mitsukou is canon. End it discussion

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Already answered this

Thank you for this ask, I really enjoyed getting to give my hot takes without holding back!! If you disagree with any of these please do not be offended, these are all just my opinions. And ofc if anyone wants to see me do this with another fandom, just say the word <3

[andypantsx3]

Andie send help. I'm a Nanami stan through and through (Or so I thought...) but with the new jjk season and everyone talking about him, I fear my weak heart can't resist Gojo anymore... OTL

So defeated and ashamed I come to you: do you by any chance have any Gojo x reader fic recs?

Thank you ❤️

Lmfaoooo Gojo is inevitable!! I do have a couple Gojo recs off the top of my head although I am certain I am forgetting some. I will try to come back and add more as I remember them!!

First of all I recommend anything by the ult Gojo simp @stellamancer. Niku has several really good ones, some ongoing, and they are all super different premises but all of them perfectly capture Gojo's annoying enigmatic-ness. Niku also has this really heartfelt style of storytelling; you will eat her fics up with a spoon.

For me, @petrichorium's usurper!Gojo series was like the gateway into Gojo simpery. This is one of my fave series ever, and again Pluvi captures his character so well, he's so dangerous and cocky and yet so soft and careful with the things he really cares about. I want to lick his boots. :/ (Total perfection.)

I recently reblogged @lorelune's fic dawn instinct and I cannot recommend enough. It's purportedly smut but Lore does like insane levels of character work throughout and it's so completely, masterfully executed. I haven't read all their other stuff yet but I added like everything to my TBR, they're so good.

I also recently reblogged @mintmatcha's vignettes in cerulean and hoooly shit. It's short but it's so impactful. Mint's writing is somehow very focused and cerebral and I found myself thinking about this one for days and days after. I think it will stick with you too.

I also have to recommend @yeowchies' whet your appetite fic too. This one literally gave me butterflies. Gojo is so fucking sexy and obnoxious here and I wanted to climb into the fic and beat his ass!! You will love love love his characterization here.

And no Gojo list would be complete without @hawnks's first law of motion!! Mint is one of the most reliable writers in our niche and one thing I love about her fics is how the love interest usually falls fast, and soooo hard! If you want to feel loved and cared for, read this. This one is lengthier too so you will have plenty to simp over!!

Also I haven't read it yet but @seoafin's rip 2 my youth is on my TBR!! It's a Gojo x Reader x Getou fic, and it looks so fucking good. I have seen multiple people dissolving into puddles over this fic, so you know it has to be good. I'm so excited!!

I also haven't read this one yet but I have @shibaraki's the white rabbit on my TBR too!! Monty has the most creative concepts in this entire niche and this one features courtesan Gojo and I am certain it is gonna be both nuanced and sexy as hell hehehe.

Lastly, this isn't an x Reader, but if you are willing to read Gojo x canon characters, I'm absolutely obsessed with this gojohime writer on ao3 called unpetitlapin. Her Gojo is unbearably obnoxious but so good and flawed and so multidimensional kjsfjshdkfjshdkgl. I love it.

Anyway that's what I can think of for now, although I am certain there are ones from earlier in 2022-2021 that I will need to track down and add here. But in the meantime, happy reading!!

[cdramastuff]

would you share your top 3/top 5 dramas based on your personal enjoyment?

When it comes to cdramas, 2024 was absolutely magical for me since it gave me 2 absolute (and very different) faves at once. Before that, cdramas usually left me traumatised and / or disappointed.

First of all - Blossoms in Adversity. A show that is actually centered around the heroine and her choices (including her choice of a man). I honestly felt high from the fact that it was a female-lead drama from beginning to end. The main girl was never reduced to the position of someone who needs to be saved by a man. And her being feminine af while also badass af felt extremely genuine. I rewatch bits of this drama all the time, the romance is very cute, and the music is great as well (excluding the cringe ending that one can easily skip). The only downside is that I didn't enjoy the fight scenes as much, but that wasn't the main point of the series.

Secondly, Fangs of Fortune. I don't even know what to say here. The show was a fever dream that I still haven't recovered from. It owned and still owns my ass. The number of gifs I made for this series speaks for itself. The most beautiful shit I have ever seen. People who get my obsession with it are my kind of people.

Now for the older shows that stuck with me through the years.

Sound of the Desert (2014). In retrospective, main couple's relationship does have several not-so-comfortable moments, and yet, the two are my huge faves. Their bickering is life. Eddie Peng as the general who comes back from battles covered in blood, sweat and dirt, is the hottest a cdrama male lead could look, ever. It doesn't even bother me that his wig line is very visible now that the show is available in hd. Also, despite multiple rewatches, I still haven't seen the finale. I'd rather leave on a happy note. I don't even know if the ending is truly sad. In my heart, the two are living happily ever after.

Perfect Couple (2014). Another case of a series where I absolutely adore the cast. As someone who's seen just about everything with Wallace Huo, where he plays all sorts of jerks with all sorts of haircuts, this is the one role I keep coming back to. The ending song is one of my favest tunes and also one of the reasons I keep rewatching the drama. The main couple is yet again one that bickers 24/7, and that is obviously what I'm into. Occasionally, I feel guilty for not having posted any screenshots or gifs from this show to this day. Maybe I will.

Now that I mentioned all the stuff that I genuinely loved, I need to mention the cdramas that traumatized me, destroyed my soul and made me feel the rage of a thousand suns. I think about them a lot and can never forget them. That's the hatred that secretly borders on love, I guess.

The Journey of Flower (2015). I lovingly call it "A thousand swords show". No matter how horribly any male lead mistreats and tortures his girl, he can never top this shit. Ever. The things this drama did to it's main girl are unrivaled. I sometimes rewatch the cursed torture episode to keep myself in check. The short description of the thousand swords fiasco is here.

Investiture of the Gods (2019). Holy shit. I have no words for this. Watching the main girl destroy herself and her pet demon beyond repair worse and worse with each episode was one hell of an experience. Peak toxic shit. I feel like I should rewatch it now that some time has passed and see whether it will hit me as hard as it did the first time. I guess I love pain.

Princess Agents (2017). I'm pretty sure anyone who's heard of this show also heard that the production company did both the leads and the plot dirty in hopes to leave a possibility for s2. The only words I have to say about this are: Ice Lake. The show that made me swear to never watch an ongoing cdrama again. And yet, here I am, years later, watching all those ongoing shows, but dropping them the moment I feel they're not heading the way I want them to. Also, unlike the two shows mentioned before, I suspect rewatch value of Princess Agents is around 0. I'm pretty sure, in 2025 I wouldn't be able to sit even through one ep of this shit. I hoped that The Legend of Shen Li would make up for everything, but I guess I'll just have to live with this bitterness.

Honorable mention - Chinese Paladin 5 (2016). One of my first cdramas, one that gave me Elvis Han with violet hair. And also made me want to be taken to hell by the demon king so I can stay there forever. Lots of questionable stuff there, but man, was it an experience. I wish I could rewatch this drama for the first time again.

[mp3minded]

okay. idk who reiji is — but why are you right 😳

(first of all, thank you for providing a direct visualization JDDHDHDH 😭💙)

Before I tell ya who he is, I gotta break down what the blue thing is all about because—basically his chosen color for his character / merch etc. *is* blue, so that's why it's extra heartbreaking since it wasn't too far out the realm of possibilities, him having dark blue hair instead of dark purple 🥺 some artists do give him blue-ish hair in fanart though, and I can hear an angel cry every-time.

OKAY — Reiji Sakamaki. He's from an otome series, "Diabolik Lovers," that also has other media tied to it, such as an anime, volumes of manga, and a FULL catalogue of CD dramas / songs that I've still gotta seriously catch up on 🥸

The series itself is not for the faint of heart though—most of the love interests are vampires, Reiji included, most of whom (cannot speak for Kino since I still know too little about him) have a "my whole personality is a trauma response" sort of thing going on, due to the circumstances of their upbringings.

So as a result, they're not just red flag love interests — they're INFRAred flags, due to their potent danger as (mostly) vampires, and general mental instability. Now, back to Reiji—one of my personal favorites uwu the rest of this post will be a full-on ramble, and I will NOT apologize for that 😈

His character just MELTS me every-time because, speaking for myself as an autistic person, I've grown up so used to masking often that, I kinda felt connected to Reiji in that regard.. like even with how standoff-ish he can be, I love how freaken wholesome his taste in partners is—just someone who puts him first is his true bare minimum. That combined with his intense self-reliance (something else I relate to—) AAAAAH!!! 🫠

These are some of my favorite manga moments from his route 🥺

And I really appreciate you sending me this ask because it gives me the perfect opportunity to touch on something I've been meaning to share/put light upon in my own words, that I find really interesting about his character—

On the flip side of his bare minimum, his deal-breaker is becoming too entangled with his brother Shu, specifically—it'd be a lot to get into here, but the tl;dr is that Reiji deeply resents Shu for being their mother's favored son, of the two she had (them) simply because Shu was older, and that's on top of Shu not wanting any of what came with that full attention on him (and seldom any towards Reiji, unless it was to discuss supporting Shu as the birthright heir to their father's throne, who is the closest thing to Dracula you'll have in this series, to put in my filthy casual terms).

Since it was the only game I've played in full (so far), I'll just discuss everyone within the context of what happened in Haunted Dark Bridal (HDB). But yeah, he's truly the boogeyman of Shu's route—

On the worst ending (Brute), Reiji kills Shu.

On the moderate ending (Manservant), he almost gets away with killing Yui (the heroine/who you play as in the games).

On the best ending (Vampire), you run away with Shu—I honestly think a large factor leading to this (as it's Shu who decided upon it first), is that he can tell what would happen if y'all didn't KSBSHSJSJD 🥸

But yes, the thing I've been thinking about lately, of Reiji—on his route, in none of his endings would he ever consider killing Yui/MC, which cannot be said for all the LIs (no shade here—some of my other faves would 🤪) yet, the minute Shu's in the picture, all bets are off. That's another thing I've found very interesting about Reiji's mindset, like—he WOULD kill Yui/MC easily, but not unless she was into him, and ONLY if she was into Shu.

Before I continue, because I'm just now coming back to this while proofreading what I wrote here.. he technically would, but the circumstance that led up to it (Yui/MC stumbling upon some of his private documents, and then reading some of it out of an innocent curiosity, which he caught her doing) is something *I* wouldn't of done personally, which is why I often forget that very much happened, but yeah. 🥸 Since I tend to self/sona ship with the characters I like, I've yet to discover a scenario he would kill *me* for, outside of Shu, is what I'm trying to convey here.

Even though Reiji's deadly sin is Envy, it is only directed so intensely towards Shu—for a motif such as the seven deadly sins, that're usually seen more often if a character is meant to reflect one like he is, he doesn't care that much if Yui/MC chose literally anyone else.

ah, what else can I say.. the best way I could describe falling for Reiji is like taking a portal gun, with each portal then asking whether or not if he is warm-hearted deep down, or just cold to the core without Yui/MC.

and I guess I'd be alright with either answer.. uwu 🌸

[starryskiesahead]

So…

I may have just found a new anime to obsess over.

Yep. The Case Study of Vanitas is easily one of my new favorites.

My goodness, I don’t ever think I’ve fallen in love with a piece of media this fast. From the first episode, I adored every second, every minute of it. I fell in love with the animation/visuals, the music, the character dynamics, the worldbuilding and lore, the story…I’m just so invested in it and love it absolutely. Noé and Vanitas have an absolutely amazing dynamic and their relationship is one of my favorites that I’ve ever seen. They have easily earned their spot in my Top 5 fictional faves.

Parts of it actually kinda surprised me? For one thing, it's a lot more comedic than I expected. Like I mean. A lot of times it gets dark and fucked up bc all the characters are traumatized and have their own tragic backstories that are made of their trauma and suffering. But it's also not all serious and grim all the time like I initially thought it would be based on my initial assumption. There's a lot of cute, comedic chibi moments (iconic tbh), which I didn't expect from this anime. Also the OP, which I expected to be chock-full of darkness and blood and symbolism and motifs and action and angsty visuals, is essentially VaniNoe going on a date.

In that aspect it's completely different from what I expected but also not too far off from what I've expected, a guy and his soulma-er, partner going on dark fantasy adventures around 19th-century-steampunk France. I really like the concept of Vanitas being a doctor curing the curses that corrupt vampires' true names into malnomens, turning them into forms like monsters - when he pulls out The Book of Vanitas and activates the magic grimoire, it sends a flurry of beautiful, sparkling magical constellations to purify the afflicted like he's a magical girl in a mahou shoujo anime using her special attack to save the day from the monster of the week.

ALSO also... holy shit never before have I shipped ANY fictional pairing as hard as I’ve shipped Vanitas and Noe. I don’t even ship hard 99% of the time AT ALL, the closest was two of my OCs, who are my own original characters so they don't count.

BUT THESE TWO?

THEY’RE JUST SO PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND AWESOME TOGETHER AND WHY THE HELL AREN’T THE TWO OF THEM KISSING YET?!

like.

I mean I get that Vanitas x Jeanne is canon (don’t care for the ship that much, but I can accept it I guess though I’ll never be super into it) and Noé could have a thing with Domi, but honestly? They’ll never hit the way Vanoé does for me. Even if they never become canon in the end, their relationship, while not necessarily romantic, is nonetheless a dynamic I treasure and the way their personalities play off of each other is my favorite part of the series.

(And even if you disagree with me and don’t see the romance you can’t argue that their relationship certainly did come off that way to a good deal of the fandom, judging by all the Vanoe content I’ve seen. Honestly with the dancing scene, the way they look at each other and are super pretty in each other’s POV, the fact Noé wants a taste of Vanitas’ blood so much when blood-drinking is usually framed as a sexual thing in this series, the first ending song being them reaching out to each other while lyrics like “you made me whole” play in the background….yeah I think someone has to definitely know what they’re doing at this point, right?)

This anime was a blast from start to finish. I was instantly entranced, enthralled, enchanted by it, and I simply can’t get enough, so I ended up binge-reading the entire manga in one day. And I loved and adored it as well! The cover art with all the watercolors is so *chefs kiss* stunning, lovely and beautiful and the mangaka did amazing with it. So talented, wtf?

Love it! 💙🩵💜💖

I do have some criticisms such as I feel the story (mostly in season 1, I feel like it got better around season 2) is kind of…jumping around between plots a bit? I was expecting the main conflict to just be. The problem of cursebearers that Vanitas and Noé mostly go around curing, with a few extra shenanigans here and there. Like the whole thing with Roland and the Chasseurs and the whole encounter at Dr. Moreau’s lab felt like it was a bit rushed or resolved kinda quickly for my tastes? and the ending of S1 with the encounter between Lord Ruthven and Noe right about as we’re about to begin the Gévaudan arc, and just an episode after Jeanne and Vanitas’ little date…And like I mentioned before, I don’t really care for this pairing - though I like both of them as individual characters, and I can accept that this is canon, but I don’t particularly have too much investment in the ship. No hate to anyone who likes it though. And well it’s important enough to the story to not be really ignored, it’s also kinda just. Okay. They like each other. At least it’s a subplot and there’s other things going on, so for me I don’t have to be too into VaniJeanne as a pairing to enjoy the story. Also I’m personally really not fond of the fact both of the times they kiss were forced on each other. But that’s just my two cents. (Toss in Noé and Dominique into the equation and the shipping/romance love square does get more messy/complex, though like I said, I’m glad it’s not a constant will-they-won’t-they love drama thing all the time (no hate to ppl who like it, but not personally fond of those). Relationships are definitely a very important part of this series, and that includes the romance stuff but at least to me it doesn't feel like constant dragged out melodrama all the time.) Also I lowkey do wish Jeanne and Domi got more chance to shine in the first season outside of their connection with the guys. They do get good character development in season 2, and though a good amount of said development does seem to be pretty linked with their relationships with Vanitas and Noé respectively, I can forgive it as after all, the relationships and dynamics are an important part of this series and at least they have entertaining, fun, and likable personalities and their own backstories and lore outside of just being "the girls who are there to be the guys' love interests".

Honestly the pacing to me feels much better in the manga than in the anime - idk if it’s the different format and the fact that I can read it at my own pace, but it just feels less fast and easier to understand. I know for the anime some people found it a bit confusing, and while I partially agree/can see it on some parts it’s not THAT confusing for me and I can still understand the plot okay. But that being said, I think the manga is a bit better at this and in some ways, easier to follow than the anime.

Also, while I love the chibi comedy moments, I feel like sometimes they can be a bit overused from time to time? Especially when it's shortly after a mostly serious moment, it kinda throws me off. The truly serious, dark moments, focusing more on the characters' backstories and trauma, at least don't get interrupted randomly by the chibis, but still it does feel a little jarring when the style randomly switches.

That being said, the problems or flaws this series has/my criticisms don't really take away my enjoyment at all, and I still loved and enjoyed the experience as a whole even when there were somethings I wasn't too keen on , so I can honestly still say that it was such a wonderful, magnificent experience for me. I do hope there'll be Season 3, but I think there's not enough manga chapters to adapt into the anime and the author is on hiatus I believe. Either was, this series has sunk its fangs into me and won't let go, and I look forward to seeing it the whole way through and being there for this journey, beginning to end, I am TOTALLY hooked.

I'm totally along for the ride, and until then, will be looking at all the fabulous Vanitas and Noé art by all the amazingly talented artists out there (keep up your good work, love you!)

(Also Noé might now be my #2 favorite character of all time, up there with Arlo from Number Days. Yes, he's simply that powerful.)

[alphabetboyluvr]

THROTTLE - JJK | NINE

one/ two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven

warnings - plans are being set in motion!!! back to busan we go! references to drugs, shitty driving, the usual. no smut! a rarity! plot!! one of my fave metaphors / set of lines in the entire fic is in this one!!

word count - 11.4k

minors dni // series masterlist

"I've been thinking," you tell Hoseok a little after dusk. The sun sets later these days, mid-year sun never wanting to settle. A monsoon has been looming for a few days now, but the grey clouds sit defiant in the air. "You were right."

He looks at you, contemplation sinking into the creases of his frown, the crisp white shirt he's wearing unbuttoned to his mid chest. A pair of thin-framed glasses adorn his eyes as he skims over the notes of a casefile from work.

"What about?"

His voice is soft as he asks.

With your hair like this - top layer in a half-undone bun, the rest wisping around your shoulders - he's reminded of how you used to be.

There's a lot to be said for your relationship, or lack thereof, but once upon a time, you'd cared for another. Would dance in his parents' kitchen when they were out of town, you in one of his shirts, bare feet padding against the ondol heated floor.

You look younger with your hair like this. Like yourself, he thinks. Someone he used to know.

It's part of the reason, you think, that you're so awful to another. You grew up together. He's a part of your formation, and you a part of his. There's a reminder of the innocence that once was.

He knows how much you wanted to get out of the fold. Knows you wouldn't have come back without an ulterior motive. He isn't naive to this. Isn't naive to anything you do. Is well aware you've been doing things that no woman with a diamond on her ring finger should be doing.

But he's no saint, either. The ring was given to you with a purpose. Just like his dress shirts are dry cleaned with a purpose. Saves you from having to wash his secretary's lipstick out of them.

"I need something to fill my days," you say. "I think I'm going crazy cooped up here."

It's not a lie.

It's also not the full truth; not what's prompting this conversation, but that's neither here nor there.

Hoseok nods. Put his case file on the coffee table and turns his full attention to you. There's a softness to him now, one that he didn't have the last time you spoke.

He's not all bad, not by any stretch of the imagination. Is just caught up in a God-awful world. He's like you, in that regard.

Whatever freedoms once belonged to you have been traded for protection - not just from the men who lurk around dingy boxing clubs, but from your own family, too.

Hoseok's position within the police force gives you an added layer of armour. He's chainmail. He knows this. Knows you need him.

But he needs you, too. He's got a greasy pole to climb. Helps him out if you're throwing him towels from the Mayor's office. Will get him to the top a little quicker.

It's unsurprising that he had been the one to suggest picking your relationship back up where it had been left a few years prior.

He had painted the idea as a beautiful utopia; Daegu's darling children, reunited. A powerhouse. Unstoppable.

You didn't have a plan back then, not yet - but power seemed like a good place to start.

"You've been away for a while," he muses, well aware that it's not been an easy adjustment for you. "I... Look, you and I both know this isn't ideal. I know you wouldn't be here if you thought there was another option for you."

When you nod, he thinks you might cry.

The person you are isn't the person he once knew. You're so strong in some regards, far more powerful than he ever thought you would be and yet at times you can seem so docile. So timid. Weak. He doesn't understand it. Not really. Doesn't understand you.

Because if he did, he'd know there's nothing docile about you.

"I don't actually want to ruin your life," he says with a small smile that seems sincere. Might not be. You choose to believe it is.

"It's fine," you offer back an equally minuscule smile. "I do a good enough job of that all on my own."

He presses his lips together, and contemplative dimples etch themselves into his cheeks. "What are you thinking? Let's work together. Find a solution."

Men. So easy to wrap around your finger.

"I'm thinking of proposing a library initiative to get the city kids reading. You know how much my Father likes a good press release," you say. "I'm not too sure yet. I could volunteer at the library, start promoting for the education sector. Something like that. It will give me something to do, and gets me in a public role that is pretty much as safe for publicity as can be. If I'm working as a volunteer, there's no need for additional expenses."

As you recite your lines, you think of Jimin - and how good he is at putting words together to make them sound convincing. He and Jin are definitely the brains of Kang's boys. Namjoon and Jungkook the brawn.

Like clockwork, you're thinking about him again. Thinking about the way he didn't take his eyes off you for the entire meeting. Thinking about the way he didn't crack a single smile. Thinking about how he'd followed you out afterwards, just to ask if you were okay - and about how forlorn he'd looked when you told him that you're none of his concern, and that the only thing between the pair of you anymore is business.

And then he had smirked. Told you that business was the only thing that had ever been between the pair of you. Told you not to get it twisted. Told you not to flatter yourself, and reminded you that he was the one who had orchestrated your entire relationship.

"Whatever's between us -" He had almost snarled. "- Is what I made it to be."

You'd laughed. Stepped a little closer. Toyed with the key still around his neck, and said, "we both know that's not entirely true, don't we?"

He was silent. Could barely breathe, let alone think straight. Wasn't till you were a mile across the city that he seemed to remember how to function like a human being again. He knows one thing for certain: he absolutely cannot be around you. Not if he wants any shot at sanity.

And so when you walk into the boxing club the next day, Jungkook pauses.

He watches how you scan the room, but drops his gaze before your eyes are able to reach his. He doesn't care for making conversation with you. Knows that it will be a fruitless endeavour.

It feels like oceans bloat the distance between you, and he's never much been one for swimming. Loves the freefall of the dive; hates the dictation of the currents.

"Is Jin about?" You ask, an air of indifference to your tone.

Following the conversation with Hoseok, you'd been granted approval from the Mayoral office to start planning the campaign. You'll be working with the PR team, but it's your domain. They'll be there to hold your hand if you need it, but you'll be the guide.

You're just here to report back to Seokjin. Aren't here for small talk. Would rather swallow a razor blade, you think. Much more pleasant.

Still in his workout gear, Jungkook doesn't look at you. Just shakes his head, slams his locker door shut, and kicks the heavy metal side door of the club open.

"You shouldn't be here," he says as he exits. "Ain't safe for you."

And he's right. It's a terrible place for you to be. Not for the risk of Kang showing up, or you being spotted fraternising with the enemy, but because of the way Jungkook makes you feel like your heart might stop beating entirely.

Part of you thinks it would be preferable if it did.

The door slams behind him, and echoes into the lofty room. The chime is haunting. Almost sounds like the same one that used to be in your stomach.

You're looking at your feet, gearing yourself up to leave, when the door swings back open.

Jungkook is agitated. Chewing on his cheeks, thunder in his eyes; he's the monsoon that's been looming all week.

You wish he would just crash. Pour down. Bless you with the glory of what it feels like to be covered in his torrential rains.

But there's a ring on your finger, and a hole in his chest. His mouth is constantly dry in your presence, and he's all cried out. He's got nothing left to give.

You look so familiar. So much like home - but Jungkook lost the keys a long time ago, and the one around his neck won't work on any of the fucking locks. He's shut out. An intruder every time he tries to peep inside the windows. It's invasive, the way he looks at you.

Has you drawing the curtains shut.

"I wasn't kidding," he says, his rounded white teeth clamping on his bottom lip before he can speak his favourite letter out loud. Doesn't wanna call you the name he used to trace on your back in the dark of the night. "You don't what it's been like since... You don't know. It's not safe."

"It's never been safe," you sneer. "Why the fuck are you acting like you care now?"

You watch as his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek. He shakes his head. Looks to his feet.

There's something calming about it. You've seen his head hung low like this many times over.

It's never been due to your faults, but his, instead - his own disappointment, his own shame.

When his eyes fall back on you, dark and heavy, you're reminded of exactly who he is: danger.

So yeah, you're right. It's never been safe. Not with him around. Not safe for your life, not safe for your heart.

Never safe.

But he's always cared.

He wants to curse you out. Wants to say that you've no fucking idea how hard this has all been for him. Wants you to know that the only reason you're both still in this mess is because he cared. If he had never cared, then he never would have fucked it all up in the first place.

The words on the tip of his tongue are knocked back down his throat when a familiar rattle sounds in the parking lot. Thick and heavy, the gargle belongs to an exhaust pipe, and Jungkook has been around these parts for long enough to know exactly who it belongs to.

"Shit," he hisses. Doesn't answer your question. Holds the door open, instead. "Out."

When you stay put, he snarls.

"C, get the fuck out. It's Kang. You wanna fuck things up all over again? Wanna prolong the time we have to spend together?"

You start walking as soon as he finishes his final question.

"S'what I thought," he mutters when you walk past, and closes the door behind you both. "Go slowly. Don't turn the corner into the parking lot. Wait for me."

He clicks the lock shut; scrambles the code on the padlock. Keeps his eyes on you while you wait by the corner of the building. Appreciates that you listened to him for once in your life.

Old Man Kang only comes to the boxing club these days to check up on Jungkook - to make sure he's fighting fit. He's got a boxing match coming up. A big one. Puts him up against some boys from Busan. He knows they don't take well to 'traitors', which is what he's deemed as, now that he's fighting for a Daegu club.

Kang's banking on a heavy return should Jungkook win - but there's no 'should' about it. He has to win. If he doesn't, his debt to Kang - for the money lost on you - will only increase.

"You drive here?" Jungkook whispers as he comes to stand behind you, peeking over your shoulder to get a view of the parking lot. You choose not to inhale through your nose. Know that you might just die if he still smells the same.

He scans the cars, but can't spot the Merc you've been driving.

Of course he can't. Hoseok needed it for work. An out of town job.

"Got the bus," you say back, just as quietly.

"M'kay," Jungkook says gently. Goes to put a hand on your waist. Stops himself. Remembers things aren't how they used to be. "Take my key, get in the passengers side. Keep your head down. I'm gonna go back in for a minute, and make it look like I'm just leaving. They'll ask questions if they hear me drive off without seeing my face."

"I don't-"

"It's not up for debate. If they see you here, it fucks everything up. Just get in the damn car."

It's silent, save for the faint hum of traffic on the main road a few blocks away. Just you, and Jungkook, and the sound of the city. Neither of you really understand the way you feel. It's not quite sorrow. It's solemn. Sad - yet there's serenity, too. A saving grace for those who have fallen from it.

Jungkook decides that you're too stubborn, but also knows the one thing that always got you on side was a little desperation.

He gets closer. Puts his hand on the back of your neck. Wonders if you can feel the pulse in his thumb, and how it's beating a mile a minute. Squeezes ever so gently. Whispers, "Please, C."

The bus stop is two minutes up the road. You know that you could make it there - and be on the next bus going anywhere - by the time Jungkook has finished distracting Kang. You don't need him to save you. You don't need his protection. His kindness.

Yet you hold out your hand. Take his keys, and say, "Please be quick."

All he can do is nod, because truthfully, he'll do whatever he can to get himself beside you again.

"I'll be as quick as I can be. Promise."

It's funny. He's broken every single promise he's ever made you. Strange of him to think it holds any merit, now.

Doesn't stop you from holding out your pinky, mind you. Also doesn't stop him from linking his with yours. Pretty little promise, wrapped up with a pink bow. All perfect and pristine, satin against skin.

At least it's not red, you think. Not this time.

You hear Jungkook greet Kang - "Hi! Didn't see you there. Was just about to leave! What can I do for you?" - and decide that the coast is clear. Glancing around, you make a beeline for Jungkook's obnoxiously bright tin can of a car.

You hate it. Hate it in the same way that teenagers hate their hometowns. No matter how much you want to run from it, you know it will always be the place you go back to.

But of course you will.

It's home.

Some say it's where the heart is.

And considering you've been without one ever since Jungkook left your apartment all those months ago, perhaps it's not a bad place to start looking for it.

As you approach the bright, siren-red car in the parking lot, Jungkook's keys sit snug in the palm of your hand.

The satin lanyard strap is a little worn through - a freebie from a car show he'd attended a few years ago - but is just as soft as it always has been.

There's comfort to be found in it, like a blanket from childhood, or the warmth of a heavy duvet after a long day. It's a comfort you haven't felt in Hoseok's bedding, nor in the childhood bedroom you're able to visit again now that you're back on cordial terms with your family. 

Jungkook had never smothered you. Not once. Not like a blanket nor a duvet could - and that's exactly why you kind of used to wish he would. You had craved the weight of his body; wanted your airwaves cut off by the very essence of everything he was. Deprivation had made you desperate.

Foolishly, it seems like not much has changed. Not much and everything all at once.

When you hook your fingers beneath the door handle, you can still feel the burn of his touch. In fact, your pinky finger almost feels numb. You hold it out a little, away from your other fingers. You want to preserve the feeling; lodge the sensation in your memories, embed it into your skin. Never wanna lose it, as if you have any choice in the matter. 

Sinking into the passenger seat (alternatively known as the closest thing you've ever had to a second home) it's the scent of his leather that hits you first. A little oaky. Well-aged. Cared for. Restored by a pair of rough hands that hand touched you with just as much gentle cautiousness, once upon a time.

It's details like these; his discipline when it comes to making sure his car is looked after - preserved - that let you know just how meticulous Jungkook is. Nothing he ever does is purely up to chance.  Luck isn't something that comes naturally to him. It's something he crafts. 

Like Rumplestiltskin, he'd spun gold from straw in the form of your relationship. None of it was real. Not really.

A few tears brim on your lashline and threaten to fall - but you've never taken well to threats. You wipe them away. Won't let him know that being back in a place that once felt so much like safety is scaring you half to death, now. 

It's a vow you've made to yourself: Jungkook will never know how he affects you. He won't see you cry. Will never know your skin is forever changed by his touch, numb to everything else but the tips of his fingers and the taste of his tongue against your own.

He'd lost the luxury of 'you' the very second he decided you were expendable. 

Shifting in your seat, you're acutely aware of the little changes that have been made in your absence. There's a new air freshener, but it smells just the same. Some sort of pine. Gas station staple.

There's no hairband around his gear stick, like you know there used to be. No receipts from GS25 in the cupholders, no dirt from your shoes in the footwells, no bottles of soju left to roll around in the back.

His car is void of all essence of you. 

The centre console - the old store for your snacks after late night shifts - is empty, save for a pair of silver-rimmed glasses.

They're large - clear lenses - and slightly more rounded than you'd expect of his taste, but the thick dark frame on top of them seems apt. You can't imagine him wearing them. Think it might be fatal. Decide you'd never like to find out.

When you flick down the sun visor to check yourself in the mirror, you almost miss it; the one relic of you.

Tucked in a small slip where his tax documents should be, is a photo strip. Taken in a beachside photobooth after a few too many drinks, you remember it well.

It's rough at the edges. Torn in half. Jungkook is gone, and yet you remain. 

The removal of himself from his own memories is stark. Confusing. Distressing. Forces you to focus on yourself; the smile that you know was caused by him tickling at your ribs, and the tattooed hand on the side of your face in the second picture, that you know for a fact was pulling you in for a kiss, even if you can't see it. 

In the photographs, your eyes are bright, despite the black-and-white filter (his pick). There's a stupid pastel purple frame around each one of the pictures, with miniature Kuromi's perched on the edges (your pick).

You wonder where the other half is. Decide you're better off not knowing, but don't have time to give it much thought though, for Jungkook's yanking at the drivers-side door, and asking for the keys before you even have a chance to flip the visor back up.

He looks at you - eyes jagged, jawline sharp - and lets his gaze fall to your hand, where the pictures sit pretty.

"That's still in here?" he sneers, as if it's a surprise; as if he doesn't look at it every time he stops by the river to breathe for a moment. Just like he didn't sit on the beach in Busan last month and set fire to the other half; watching himself disintegrate. "Keep it. I've got no use for it."

He holds his hand out for his keys, so you make sure to drop them just beyond his grasp and into his footwell. You know you're pressed for time, and that you really shouldn't be fucking about, but he's too much of an asshole, you decide. 

"Real fuckin' mature," he grumbles, pulling on the lever beneath his chair to push it back so he can reach down for them. There's silence as his posture restores and he sinks his key into the ignition. A spark lights in his engine, the exhaust roaring into action. He knocks the gear stick into reverse, and holds onto the headrest of your seat as he looks over his shoulder. Swings the car around. "Head down."

You do as you're told. 

It's mainly because you don't want to give him any more reason to snarl, but also because the quicker you do, the quicker you can just get the fuck out of his car.

It's claustrophobic now that he's sharing the space with you. You don't wanna breathe; don't wanna smell his aftershave. Don't wanna listen; don't wanna hear the way he mumbles to himself. Don't wanna look; don't wanna see his tattooed hand knock the gear stick into first, then straight up to third.

In fact, you'd quite like to stop existing altogether. 

Jungkook used to say how much he enjoyed it. Enjoyed existing with you. 

You hope it makes him feel fucking sick, now. 

"Just drop me at the end of the road," you say. "I'll make my way from there."

"End of the-" he scoffs, not even finishing his repetition of the question. He coasts around the corner, foot on the clutch. You wonder if he's exercising a complete lack of control on purpose. Wonder if he's baiting you. "That private school education of yours really didn't give you any street smarts did it, huh?"

He definitely is baiting you. There's no doubt about it. He's petty motherfucker when he wants to be - and you can be just as bad. You just can't decide on how you want to respond. 

Firing back would be the easy option. It's what he would expect. What he knows of you. 

Staying silent looks meek, you think. 

The final thing you consider is crying. Do you want to? Not really. You're more frustrated than you are sad. Thing is, he wouldn't expect it. Wouldn't know what to do. Would definitely make him freak out a little. Might even get him trying to make things better.

But you just can't bring yourself to do it. 

Instead, you laugh. Look straight ahead. "Baby, these streets are mine. We both know I'm untouchable."

His hard stare on the road intensifies. You're approaching the bridge. Neither of you want to speak, both too aware of the impact that first night had on your lives; how it planted a seed that turned out to be nothing more than a venus fucking fly trap. 

And yet Jungkook just can't help himself. He doesn't want to let you win.

It's pathetic, and he knows it. Knows that he's the one who fucked you over; that he's the one who did all of this. Knows that you've every right to be hurting, and every right to want him hurting, too.

But you're engaged, he fumes internally. Due to be married. Have committed your life to someone else, as if the time you had spent with Jungkook meant nothing. It's only been about four months since it all went to shit. He can barely look at the watermark he still hasn't cleaned off of his bathroom mirror. 

Lies were fed to you between his kisses, but every single one of those was real. He meant it every time he pressed his lips against yours; every time he told you he needed you in his sheets eternally.

He makes assumptions like you used to do. Thinks about your fiance. Assumes it's love. Has to be.

It's clear to him now that the feelings you pretended to have for him were always a lie. 

He doesn't understand why.

Sure, he knows why he lied to you. Knows that he filled your head with half-truths, and tiptoed around the facts of the situation, but he was always honest with how he felt. Never told you bullshit about wanting to keep you close. Meant every single word of it. 

But you didn't. It's obvious to him that your lies went beyond your family tree. Nobody likes a liar - not even the boy who cried wolf, himself. 

"Untouchable?" he smirks. It's cruel. Juvenile. "We both know that isn't true, don't we?"

"Haven't you heard, baby?" You simper, voice sweet a honey laced with rat poison. You hold up your hand, and wiggle your fingers. Light catches in the cut of your diamond. "I've got a ring. I'm untouchable in every sense of the word."

It stings. Almost like your diamond's encrusted on a dagger, and you've impaled it into his chest.

He doesn't look at you as he drives. Not like he used to. Doesn't throw you a single glance across the centre console, doesn't hold your knee nor your hand beneath his on the gear stick. Instead, his jaw remains taut, eyes ahead on an endless horizon that he hopes he never reaches. If he keeps driving forever, none of this has to end. 

For a little while longer, he can pretend. 

Pretend that things are as always as they were; that perhaps you've just had a small argument - over what to have for dinner or the way he'd rolled his eyes at a suggestion you had made - and that you'll crack a smile soon. He'll say something dumb, play your favourite song. Tell you he's sorry. Pull over, and refuse to drive until you hold his hand. 

But your hand has a ring on it now. He'd feel it lodged beneath his fingers. Would be indented with the mark of commitment from another man.

And that's what makes him crack. 

"Engaged," he laughs quietly, not an ounce of humour in his voice as he shakes his head. His eyes stay on the road. He can't look at you. Knows he wouldn't be able to look away.

You're silent for a moment. Consider not responding - but his tone bothers you. 

"Uh-huh. We've established that - but you've no right to pass judgement."

Jungkook doesn't want to pass judgement. He wants to be vulgar. 

Wants to remind you of the way you were taking his cock a matter of months ago. Wants to ask if your fiance hits the spot like he knows he used to. Wants to know if your body is still stained by the colour of his claim; rosy handprints on your ass, plum bruises on your chest left by his lips. Wants to know if it's his name that reverberates in your head when you bite onto pillows. Wants to know if your fiance even fucks you well enough to make you do that. He doubts it.

He doesn't want to know the answers to any of those, though.

"I'm not passing judgement, C," he says in perhaps the most judgemental tone you've veer heard, flicking his indicator to merge into the next lane. "What's the dress like? Can't be white, can it?"

Bastard.

"We're going traditional," you lie. It hasn't even been discussed yet.  You also don't plan on sticking around long enough to see it through to the big day, but that's none of Jungkook's business. "Hanboks only. No modern dress."

Funny, Jungkook thinks. Had never pictured you as the traditional type. Then again, never pictured you walking down the aisle with anyone but him.

Truth be told, it's not like he's ready for any of that. He's not good with the future. Not anymore. Moves from one bad decision to the next. No point in planning ahead.

He disregards the flashing amber light over the pedestrian crossing, narrowly missing it as it changes to red. His foot is on the gas, and he doesn't seem to be easing.  You adjust in your seat. Cross your legs. Hold onto the door handle. 

"Slow down."

The way he ignores you is childish, and the way he speeds up is even more so.

"Jungkook-"

"Don't tell me how to drive my own damn car," he snaps. 

"Then don't drive it like a fucking idiot!"

The tyres screech to a halt. You're almost certain you can smell burnt rubber.

Around you, the road is empty. You're just a few blocks over from the bridge, not far enough for the coast to be clear, and you both know it. There's silence. No static from his radio, no chatter of former lovers; just his engine, purring softly, echoing into the night.

Neon lights from the amalgamation of churches and noraebangs rain down on you through his windows, painting your skin in a red haze. The beam of his headlights on the road ahead is intrusive, decrepit buildings shown in all their miserable glory; paint peeling from the walls, rust forming beneath nails like tears on cheeks, railings covering windows to keep outdated electronics protected. You hate this area. Always have done. Can't believe you used to consider it home.

"Fine then," he snaps. "Get out. Walk yourself home. See what I care. Don't get hit."

He expects resistance. Expects you to defy him. It's what he wants. Wants you choosing to stay - but like fuck are you gonna let him speak to you like that.

It's so hard knowing what's false with Jungkook. 

Some days, you think it was all ingenuine; that you've never seen the real him. 

On others, you tell yourself that the version of Jungkook you'd first met on the bridge was a facade; that you'd worn him down. Seen within. 

Most days, though, you believe the version of Jungkook you'd met on that very first night is exactly who he is. 

Everything that followed? A carefully crafted performance for an audience of one.

And now it seems like he wants a standing ovation - and who are you to deny such a skilled actor his applause?

Yanking just hard enough to piss him off, you pop open your door and stand beside the car. Applause comes in form of his door slamming shut, and the click of your heels piercing the emptiness in the air as you walk up the sidewalk.

"Where are you going?" He shouts after you from his window - but you just hold your middle finger up in his direction and continue onwards. "C?"

You wouldn't tell him even if you knew. All you know is that you selfishly kind of hope he'll call after you again. He does. You smile to yourself, and ignore him. 

Cursing to himself in the driver's seat of his car, he revs the engine back up. 

There's a sinking feeling in your chest, but you're the one who put it there. 

Only have yourself to blame.

You choose not to watch as his car hurtles past you. The sound is soul-destroying enough as it is.

Jungkook takes a moment to consider his choices. The obvious is to let you go - but he's done that once before, and has hated it ever since. He knows chasing after you will only end in him chasing his own tail, but he's been doing that ever since you left, as it is. What difference will it make? At least this way he can say he tried.

He pulls into a side road.

Derelict and dilapidated, it's no place for a car like his - but then again nowhere in this city is. He sticks out like a sore thumb. None of the other Pony's are polished quite so well, no have been lowered like his. None of them rag about in the dark of night, only for him to fix his faux pas in the light of day the following morning. He'll never let it rust. Never let it falter. Never let it down; and in turn, it won't let him down either.

It will always take him exactly where he needs to be - and right now, he thinks it's beside you.

Slamming his door shut far gentler than you had, Jungkook pushes the key into its lock and twists it shut. He doesn't want to use the electric locks today. Feels like the only way to do things right is to go analogue. Old school.

Wishes there was a way he could go back in time with you, too.

His feet splash in the shallow puddles as he trundles back down the alley on foot, pulling the hood of his jacket over his head. He's still in his workout gear - a pair of joggers and some beat-up trainers - but doesn't care for keeping up appearances.

He waits as you approach. You notice him immediately, but make no acknowledgement of his presence. Just keep on walking. Even when he begins to walk alongside you, not a single word is spoken. Cars pass by, passengers gazing out of their windows at the strange pair walking side by side yet miles apart. 

You wonder if they make assumptions about you like you know would.

If you were to see yourself, you'd guess that you were angry. A couple in the midst of a fight but too far from home to go your separate ways, maybe. The way your arms are crossed definitely suggests ice to the relationship, but of what the relationship is, you don't think you'd be able to tell. Lovers? Friends? Enemies? All of the above?

You wonder if they'll make up a life for you both. Wonder if they'll resolve the argument they must think you're having. Consider that maybe in their mind, you get a happy ending.

Maybe your observers will be just as naive as you once were. A fool with a fragile heart who gave it to a man who didn't know his strength.

Or perhaps he did. Perhaps he just never cared if he were to break it.

Jeon Jungkook; a rebel with a cause, just without care.

Asshole, you think. Wind whips loose stands hair against your face, cold despite the heat of summer that has now arrived. A storm is coming this evening, but you don't plan on being around to see it.

It's a shame. You've been looking forward to it. Hoseok's away. Work retreat to Yeosu. Some sort of training programme. You had anticipated a night alone watching the raindrops sinking down his apartment window.

The idea of going 'home' right now doesn't appeal to you. 

Though when you come to think about it, home is standing next to you as you wait at a zebra crossing, waiting on a green light.

When green lights up the sky, you continue forward. Take a left a left when you reach the hospital. Walk seemingly without direction and yet there's only one place this road leads to. Jungkook knows it well. Isn't really sure what you're doing. Thinks you're playing some kind of joke.

And yet he doesn't speak up. Just follows. 

The sign of the KTX station lights up the walkway, the rattle of overground trains polluting the silence between you. There are only a few more services for the night, but it means that freight trains are gearing into action, and they're so much louder than the passenger trains.

As much as he might not know what you're doing, you don't know either. Haven't really thought any of this through. 

All you know is you just don't want to stop walking with him. 

You hate yourself for it. Hate how weak he makes you feel. Hate that he gets to be okay and just live his life after ruining yours. Maybe you're misplacing your blame. Know full well that you've made some bad decisions as of late. Would take them back if you could.

Jungkook is one of those bad decisions you wish you could undo. If only life came with a rewind button. Ctrl+Z. Reboot. Restore to factory settings. 

And yet the idea of not knowing him - the sound of his laugh in the early hours of a Sunday morning, the feel of his cheeks a few days post-shave, the pressure of his lips on the crown of your head - fills you with dread. You may hate the memories, but you don't want to lose them, either.

You know Daegu's KTX station well. Hanger left as you enter, straight towards the self-service kiosks. Pick one that accepts card, then rest your palms on the pale blue plastic casing of the machine. There's a touchscreen full of choices - endless opportunities - but Daegu's KTX autofill route is the only one that you care for. The only one that feels right. 

Busan.

You tap through to the next menu, ignoring Jungkook's presence beside you. You don't care what he does. Are only thinking about yourself. 

Funny, really. He's only thinking about you.

Jungkook knocks your hand to the side to stop you from pressing through to the transaction screen. He reaches over a little further. Presses the small plus sign next to 'passengers'. Says nothing as it jumps from '1' to '2'. 

You just watch as he clicks on through to the following screen, and slides his card into the slot that's flashing green at you. There's no conversation. No acknowledgement of what he's done; just acceptance. 

The machine spits out the tickets into a metal tray, so you take yours and turn on your heel, leaving him to collect his own. He can follow you if he likes. You won't wait for him. 

Realistically, it's not like you'll be apart for long. The assigned seats are side by side.

Of course, you could just leave. Buy a ticket elsewhere. Go home. Head down towards the subway and lose him in a sea of people.

The possibilities are endless.

Yet you find yourself checking the departure screen for train 071, instead. 

The menu flickers through the upcoming departures, before finally falling back to the screen 071 is on. Platform two, departing in four minutes. 

It's enough time to get to your track, but not enough time to run to your favourite coffee stand. You just sigh. Today is just disappointment after disappointment. 

Jungkook walks straight past you. Makes no acknowledgement of you. 

Just heads towards the exit for the tracks. Another sigh leaves your lips.

But you find yourself following him.

You're the one orbiting him, now.

And like the planets you're convinced rule your life, it doesn't feel like you can stop any time soon.

Your train is already on the platform by the time you make it down the stairs, quietly purring in its bay. Doing one final check of the platform, the conductor blows his whistle just as you're hopping on. 

Heading down the aisle, you're displeased to see the train is only half full, knowing it means your assigned seats will be beside one another - and once you reach carriage four, you can see the top of his head poking out from the row you've been allocated.

It's interesting how he's taken the aisle seat, when his ticket is for the window. Still, questioning it means engaging in conversation, and you're still pretending like he doesn't exist - to the point where you don't ask him to move. You just step over him, and cringe at the way you know your ass brushes the top of his knees from the awkward positioning.

If he were in a better mood, he'd smile, aware of your annoyance and the fact you're probably cursing out your own ass in your head.

But Jungkook is in a foul fucking mood, and all he wants to do is hold your goddamn hand. 

He knows can't. 

So he won't. 

He'll just sit, and stew, and lament the fact he's on a train to fucking Busan with you.

The jokes he knows he would have cracked six months ago are lost, now. There'll be no nonsensical conversations over who would die first in a zombie apocalypse, no dumb declarations from Jungkook about how he'd protect you no matter what.

Would have been a lie, anyway. 

In the row ahead of you, a teenage couple share a pair of headphones. 

Between the crack in the seats, you can see their heads leaning together, hairs melting into one another. The girl is peroxide blonde, but has dark roots growing through. It's a bit like Jungkook's hair used to be. Her (presumed) boyfriend has a streak of blonde peaking through his dark hair. She no doubt did it for him (again, you presume). The sight of it makes you feel sick.

Jungkook notices it too. Watches as the girl flicks through the boys playlist. Searches up a song he doesn't know, and presses play. When she locks the phone and puts it down on her boyfriends lap, she shuffles closer against him. Jungkook feels a little unwell, too.

The silence continues.

It's only 45 minutes to Busan. Not a long haul by any stretch of the imagination - and yet it feels endless this evening. When the train eventually rolls into his hometown, Jungkook thinks he's going crazy. Hates being alone with his brain. Hates that you hate being alone with him, too.

The hushed nature of your pairing prevails as you make your way onto the subway. Rammed full of late-night punters, you're forced to stand by the entryway. He stands behind you, and holds the bar that's over your head. Doesn't say sorry when the movements of the carriage cause him to lean against you slightly. He pulls away from you as quickly as he can, but you're surprised to find that you miss the weight of his body.

But of course you do. You've been missing it for months, now.

The subway trundles through underground tunnels, metal screeching every so often, more and more passengers departing - until it's just you and him. You take a seat, and so does he. You're opposite one another, eyes unashamed as you stare one another out. There's no trust. You're like cats, stalking their prey.

Or should that be you're like a cat. Jungkook is a lion. Could rip you to shreds if he wants. Has done it before. Your scars are barely healed. Can still feel him all over your skin. It's insidious. Makes you want to take a fucking potato peeler to your body, just to rid yourself of your memories.

The way he looks at you, all dark and brooding, like he's some kind of 90's heartthrob that never stood the test of time, makes your fingerprint-shaped scars burn.

You ride the subway until the very final stop; not because you wanted to, just because you were following his lead.

Stupid, really. He was following yours. Of course he was.

The static voice of the automated alert lets you know you've reached Dadaepo.

Jungkook knows it well. Was his favourite place to explore as a kid. A hidden rocky alcove just beyond the cliff walk was the site of many discoveries as a kid; sea glass, bugs he can't remember the names of, and - in his later years - the scent of marijuana.

The fact you're still giving one another the silent treatment is comically unbelievable. It's been upwards of two hours since his car door slammed shut back in Daegu. Even longer, actually. Closer to three hours.

There's something so childish about how petty you both are - but at least this way, you can't miscommunicate. 

You just don't communicate at all, and you think you prefer it that way.

The waves roll in as you sit, staring at nothing. Side by side. Miles apart. It all becomes a bit much for Jungkook. He knows he shouldn't make a sound, but he thinks he likes it better when you fight. At least that way he gets to hear your voice, no matter how scathing it can be.

"The last train back is in half an hour," Jungkook says quietly, unsure of how much time has passed. Dadaepo is fifty minutes away from the station. You'll have missed it, and are fully aware of it.

So you just shrug.

"Not have a fiancé to get home to?" He questions, and almost manages not to sound bitter. Almost.

Again, you shrug.

Hoseok is away for the week - an all-expenses training retreat over in Yeosu. 

When your Father had still been in the police force, before moving into local politics, he'd gone on the same training programme. It's a yearly excursion. Just an excuse to get shitfaced with his crew and a chance to slip his wedding ring into his wallet, knowing your mother would never find out.

She'd always know. She was the one who did his laundry, after all.

Unlike your mother, however, you won't spend the week in a foul mood because of it.

That's not to say you won't spend the week in a foul mood - it's just that the reason for your awful mood is currently sitting next to you looking over the East China Sea. 

"You should stop concerning yourself with my life," you tell him, voice quiet - but he hears you crystal clear, regardless. He's listening out for only you. Fuck the waves, fuck the dog walkers, fuck the traffic and the coffee shop soundtrack blaring just a few feet behind the woodland. You're the only one he hears.

He considers saying nothing, but just can't help himself - so he scoffs, and says, "shall I stop breathing, too, while I'm at it?"

It's a stupid comparison to make. His life doesn't depend on you. You tell him so.

"You need to breathe to stay alive. You never needed me to stay alive." 

Never needed me at all.

"I don't know, C. Kang was pretty pissed when we let you get away," he says as he purses his lips. It's a miracle his nose still looks the same as it always did - unless it just got broken so many times that it somehow snapped back into place.

Thing is, Jungkook's not really thinking about that. The pain subdued. After a few weeks, it was like it never happened.

But the ache in his chest remained. His one source of chronic pain, and you're the one who held the knife. Sure, he's the one who guided your hands. Pulled them into his chest. Inflicted it upon himself. 

"Your coworker," Jungkook finally sighs. He's not even sure why he's asking. He doesn't want the answer. "Is it... The ring. Is it him?"

And while you want to hurt Jungkook as much as you possibly can without laying a single finger on him, you know you've done Yoongi enough damage. Makes you sick thinking about his tender face; the way it'd light up around you. You think of Jieun, and the time spent together in the shop and it's so consuming that you can't even think of an appropriate response to Jungkook.

"Yoongi," you correct, but Jungkook already knew his name. Just didn't wanna acknowledge him as more than a meagre colleague. "No. It's not Yoongi."

But just for a night? It had been Yoongi. Or was it two nights? Your head taunts you. You fucked Yoongi. Fucked his life up. Fucked it all. Whatever becomes of you is what you deserve.

Jungkook is unaware of this as he clamps his lips together to stop the smile that's begging to break through his hard exterior.

"You ever..." You begin to mumble, but then realise who you're talking to. You don't want to converse with him. "Nevermind."

He knows this. Doesn't care. "Have I ever what?"

There's a moment of silence; waves lapping against the shoreline in place of your words.

"You ever do something that just destroys you?" 

Your words linger like the brief seconds waves will take to kiss the shoreline; white bubbles sinking into sand, murky water retracing its steps and dissolving into the currents.

"Destroys you?" he asks, not because he needs clarification, but because he can't possibly imagine what you've done.

You simply nod.

And so he takes a moment to think. Decides it's about time he gave you some honesty.

"Yeah," he says gently. Can see there's something you're grappling with. Doesn't want to intrude, though. "I've done things that have destroyed me, C. You know I have."

The silence resumes once more. It's louder now.

If you listen closely enough, you can hear that chime in your stomach again. It's faint. You ignore it.

Jungkook can hear it too. It rings and rings like tinnitus. He can't ignore it. He can pretend that he detests it, though.

Moonlight ripples on the surface of the water. It rolls into shore, then pulls away again. Gets just close enough to touch, but not far enough to soak your feet.

It runs away from you as soon as it gets close, and the irony isn't lost on Jungkook. He'd always thought you'd behaved like the moon and her tides, after all. Cyclic. Endless. Eternal.

It sort of feels apt that you'd end up back here.

Yeah, he thinks as he refuses to look in your direction. Too consumed with the way the vast expanse almost looks like a black hole. Just like the tides.

But waves can roll up on any beach, and the moon caresses every inch of the earth during her slumber. There's nothing unique about the pair of you. Nothing special. 

Insignificance has always been a fear of his. A life that could be chalked up to birth, then death; records in a library system forgotten about for years upon years. His impact? Null.

He'd seen it with his mother - her vibrancy, her love for life, for others - and how she'd all but been forgotten. Sometimes, he feels like he's the only one who remembers her.

Even his father seems to forget why he's in such a sorry state. His brother has a new family, now. And what does Jungkook have?

No family. That disintegrated. Yeah, they're still around, but they're not present. Not there for him when he needs them.

No career. Sure, he can get work wherever electricity is, but he's under Kang's thumb, now. He trains, and he fights. Time for honest work is non-existent.

No love. He's never been the type to need a relationship, but he'd gotten a little foolish. Gotten used to the comfort of another human. Now that he knows what it feels like - how nice it can be - he feels half alive without it.

The Jungkook beside you is just the same as the Jungkook you first met.

He's a little stronger, a little broader. Is missing a few of his piercings, and wears his hair dark now instead of the blonde you had always adored.

He's exactly the same, and yet forever changed.

He digs his fingers into the sand beside his thighs. The grains slip through the hollow gaps between his knuckles. Even the things within his grasp always seems to get away from him. 

He hates the silence. Hates that he never knows what to say anymore.

And thankfully for him, you hate it just as much. 

"Fighting a lot, these days, aren't you?" You ask, not that you need any clarification. You saw a note in one of Hoseok's files earlier on in the week. Just a small scrawl about Kang's, and the illegal gambling ring he's running. JJK had been written down, with a set of odds next to his name. Pretty good odds. Baby is a champion. You'd be proud, if the circumstances weren't so harrowing.

"Not any more so than usual," he lies, shutting down the conversation as soon as you start it. He just can't help himself. It's like he's hard-wired to fight.

You turn to look in his direction and are momentarily caught by how ethereal he looks when basking in silver moonlight. The tip of his nose looks cold, and yet his eyes are warm. Watery. Welcoming you to dive right in.

Sink, or swim?

He's got a bruise on the top of his cheekbone, and a small graze just in front of his ear. It's clear to see that he's been through the wringer recently. There's really no point in lying to you.

"No?" You ask, just to let him know you're aware he's full of shit.

"What does it matter if I am?"

"It doesn't."

And so silence settles again. Neither of you know how to interact with one another anymore. It's awkward and uncomfortable, and you both hate it - and yet there's nowhere either of you would rather be. No one else you'd rather be in discomfort with.

Time gets away from you. It chases through the night, just like his car used to do down the backroads of Daegu, with you in the passenger seat and your hand beneath his on the gear stick.

You wonder if he ever thinks of it; if he ever thinks of you in the same way you think of him. 

You don't ask him, because no matter what the answer will be, you'll convince yourself it's a lie.

Midnight creeps in, and so does the chill of night air. It may be summer, but the sea breeze can be biting at times.

Jungkook's fine - his workout gear is keeping the heat in well, but you're underdressed. Huddled up and clearly not enjoying yourself but refusing to voice discomfort, Jungkook is the one who forces you up. Says it's stupid to still be out by the water. Tells you that there will be loads of bugs about, soon.

You both know that the bugs have been out since dusk. Leaving now makes no difference.

Ignoring the hand he holds out as you get to your feet, you rid your legs of sand, and head towards the pathway through the small wooded area. 

Neither of you have any idea what to do. The keys in Jungkook's pockets are rendered useless, his car still down in a back alley of Daegu, and the buses have stopped running. Subway, too. 

You've no bag with you, just your phone (that's dangerously low on charge) and a card tucked into the back of the case. 

Jungkook's phone is new. Holds it's charge well. He's not worried about it.

He's got his wallet, too, so at least he's a little bit more foreign-city-ready than you'd been upon your decision to run off to Busan. He's glad he came with you, now.

He figures he'll just stay at his Dad's place - but it means getting a taxi, and he really can't be fucked with an hour's drive this late at night.

He's unaware that the card in the back of your phone isn't yours. It's under Hoseok's name. He gets a notification every time it's used. It's why you're so selective about how you spend your money. 

You've no ID with you, either. Left it in your purse back in Hoseok's apartment. Hadn't really expected to end up in Busan, in all honestly.

Especially not with Jungkook.

If you wanna check in to a hotel - which is the only option, really - you're gonna need your ID. Standard policy around these parts. No ID, no room.

You tell Jungkook this. 

He sighs. Grates his jaw a little. 

"And you didn't think that maybe it would be smart to take your ID out with you? What if you'd gotten in an accident, huh? No one would have known who to call, 'cause they wouldn't know who you are."

"I was hardly gonna get in an acci-"

"How do you know?" He cuts you off. "You can't plan these kinds of things, CC. Accidents just happen."

"Is that what this is, then?" You scoff, folding your arms over your chest as you walk a little further away from him up the sandy sidewalk. "Another calamity of yours? Just ended up here accidentally?"

Sometimes, he considers kissing you just to stop your from spouting off at him over nonsensical issues.

Jungkook thinks it's obvious he ended up in Busan for one reason, and one reason alone:

He'll follow you to the end of the earth, if it means he gets to be with you. 

He's hardly gonna tell you that, though, is he?

"Ended up here cause I missed the beach-" And I missed you, too. "- but it's late," Jungkook says as you meander back up the sidewalk without much aim, and nods across the road to a beachfront hotel. "Let's just crash here and figure out how to get home in the morning?"

For reasons you can't understand, you find yourself agreeing. When you explain that you can't use your card, he shrugs. Says he'll cover it. Says he doesn't care. 

It's a different story when you're in the hotel. 

The presence of the concierge makes you feel unsure of yourself. Reminds you of how embarrassed you are by what Jungkook did to you; how foolish you had felt. You feel the need to defend yourself.

"Do you have any suites available?" You ask the concierge with a smile so sweet it could rot his inside. He thinks you're sweet. Thinks Jungkook should smile more. Knows he'd be smiling if he had you alone in a hotel room.

"All booked out, I'm afraid," the concierge says as he checks the screen in front of him. The glare reflects in his glasses, and you wonder how many times he's been caught out looking at things he shouldn't. Not just at work, but in general. He seems like a sweet kid - but a kid nonetheless.

"What's the most expensive room you have available, then?" You query instead.

Jungkook shakes his head. Looks at his feet. Tenses his jaw. Thinks you're fucking unbelievable.

You know he's got money problems. Know he's fending off sharks from his poor Father's back. Know that the only reason he fucked you over was to finally have a decent payday.

And yet you choose to do this? Knowing he won't kick up a fuss in public?

Spineless bitch. Spiteful. 

But, oh, how you love to hit him where it hurts.

The concierge is none the wiser of Jungkook's discomfort. Tells you both that there's a deluxe sea-view room left.

"It's gone midnight, so I can give you a discounted rate," he says, and still quotes a price that would make even a black card owner raise an eyebrow.

Jungkook looks at you. Holds your gaze. Passes over his card. Waits till the concierge is retrieving your keys to hiss, "you're the most expensive mistake I've ever made."

You just smile. "Shouldn't live life with regrets. They give you wrinkles."

"And stress gives you grey hair," he counters, insinuating that you've got some growing through. The concierge returns to his position behind the desk, so Jungkook plays his role up. "You been stressed lately, baby?"

The concierge coughs. Holds out your key. "Seventh floor. Follow the corridor from the elevator right to the end, and you'll find room number one." Jungkook takes the key with a polite nod. "If you need anything else, the front desk is open twenty-four hours. I do hope you enjoy your stay."

The tension between you and Jungkook is palpable. The little routine you've cooked up in which neither of you speak unless it's to bait each other out continues. Doesn't end until you're in the room - and what a fucking room it is. 

Crisp white sheets on a bed that is far too big; a bathtub in the corner of the room instead of the bathroom. Huge windows that let the midnight view of the ocean pour in, and chiffon curtains that will keep you hidden from the outside world. You won't close the blinds. Will want the morning sunlight to bathe you in its glory; make you feel like you belong to the days instead of the nights. 

So much of your relationship with Jungkook was hidden in the shadows of Daegu nights, but it had been different in Busan. It's hard to pretend as if you don't miss it.

Hard, but not impossible.

You toss him a pillow and the stiff cotton throw from the end of the bed. "Here. The bathtub looks cosy. Sweet dreams."

"I'm not sleeping in the fucking bath," he laughs, but it's full of scorn. He finds no humour in this situation. "If I pay for a hotel room, I'm sleeping in the bed. Bath is all yours."

And yet you stay put.

When Jungkook turns off the main light? You stay put.

When he grasps the back of his sweater and pulls it over his head? You stay put.

When he says, 'No? Not fancy the bath?' as he tosses the pillow you had thrown at him back onto the empty side of the bed? You stay put.

When he walks around to that side? When he pushes the duvet back? When his weight dents the mattress? The scent of his aftershave intrudes on your senses? The sound of his bare skin nestling into the sheets is all you can hear? When he turns his back to you? Turns off the bedside lamp?

You stay fucking put.

And you know you shouldn't, and know that this is all kinds of wrong, but my god, it's all you've wanted for months: the past. All that's missing is your arm looped over his waist.

When he turns to face you? Looks at you, eyes all glassy, lips pursed? Tries to get a read on you?

You don't move a muscle. Just look at him right back. Wonder how he can still look so beautiful in such darkness. Wonder if his hair always spilt onto the pillow as it does now, and you'd just never realised when he was blonde. 

And then you wonder if maybe someone else had been in this position with him during your absence. 

It would be okay if they have. Wouldn't be their fault. Wouldn't be his, either. You're the one who left. Have a ring around your finger, now, no matter how loosely. Would be incredibly unfair to expect Jungkook to spend the last few months alone.

But the more you think about it, the more you get caught up in your own head, and how he'd kissed you beneath his shower, skin coated in red dye. Has you thinking about the way he'd always kiss you as he came, and the 'forever's he'd whispered in the dark of night. 

So fucking cruel of him. He always knew that forever wasn't an option. There was no reason he had to pretend there was.

And maybe you're just tired, or maybe you've just been keeping it all bottled up for so long that the pressure had finally reached full capacity, but you just can't help yourself as you say, "why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

Your brows furrow. Lips pout. You know what's coming and you can't even be bothered to stop the tears. Maybe he should know how badly he affected you. Maybe it's the only way he'll understand. Maybe then he'll care.

For now, you can't bring yourself to think too hard. You just let the tears fall.

"C'mon, C," Jungkook whispers as his thumb strokes over your cheek. His hands are a little rough. He's been working on his car a lot lately, and hasn't taken time to look after himself, instead. It's self-sabotage. Thinks he doesn't deserve to feel good. Physically, mentally, whatever. "This isn't you."

Oh, it's laughable. Hilarious, you think, that he seems to think he knows who the fuck you are. You wanna scream. Wanna tell him that he knows fuck all. Tell him that you never let him see even an ounce of what makes you 'you'.

Denial is a strange thing. Has you lying to yourself like it's a bible oath. Jeon Jungkook knows exactly who you are. You just wish that he didn't.

"You've no idea who I am," you whisper back through partially gritted teeth, that are stopping your sobs from leaking through.

Jungkook purses his lips together. Shakes his head. Strokes away another tear. Is almost silent when manages to croak out, "I wish that were true." 

And you might be wrong, but it sounds like he's holding back a tear or two, as well. 

You reach over to toy with the key around his neck. It's warm in your fingers, the heat of his skin keeping it cosy. It's amazing how warm he always is, you think. Never met anyone like it. When your eyes flick up to his, ever so briefly, you notice that they seem warm, too. Just a byproduct of his body temperature, you decide. 

"Why coke?" You whisper as you bring the key to your lips. Press it against them, just to feel the pressure of something that belongs to him.

He'd kiss you now, if you asked him to.

But you won't, so he doesn't. 

He just shrugs instead. 

"Why do we do anything of the things we do, C?" He pauses, but doesn't anticipate a response from you. Just continues, instead. "To feel alive? To feel closer to death? I don't know."

Lost one drug, he thinks to himself. It's just a replacement. 

And it's funny, because aside from the lines he'd snorted on the first night you'd returned just to fucking cope with it all, he's not touched it. Thinks if he could just touch you, he'd never go near coke again. 

You hold the key to his lips, now. Wait for him to press his lips against it. He does so, keeping his eyes locked on yours. Funny. Seems the key works on something, after all.

When you pull the key away, you let the chain hang slack, before dropping it to his chest. The ridges of the metal are sharp against his skin, but he's numb to it. Can only feel the print of your fingertips and the scars that are embedded into his skin from them.

"You should stop," you whisper, stroking down the bridge of his nose with the side of your index finger. His eyes close. Jaw tenses. He inhales. "It'll ruin this pretty nose of yours."

And then he smiles; eyes still closed, lip ring flipping in the corner of his mouth. 

But the tepid movement of your finger doesn't stop. It reaches the tip of his nose. Trails down his septum. Encroaches on his cupid bow - and then it comes to rest on his lips.

Just like the key, he presses against it. Kisses the side of your finger. Keeps his eyes closed. Lets it linger. 

He hears the change in your breathing. How you inhale a little sharper than before. How it sounds painful. 

Doesn't wanna open his eyes. Doesn't want to look at you, knowing that you'll probably look so tragically hurt that it would be captivating, in a way. He'd wanna kiss it all better, but knows better than to attempt such a thing. 

"I don't think I can, C," he eventually says. Opens his eyes. Is devastated by your beauty. "Don't think I'll ever be able to stop."

You both know he isn't talking about coke.

"Then it'll ruin you," you whisper, pretending as if you still are.

He just nods. "So let it."

[cryingpariah]

Pari, in honor of International Women's Day, would you perhaps like to share with me your favorite One Piece women and what you love about them?

(Jackie's one of my faves and I hope she's treating herself today!)

I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLIES YES PLEASE!!

(I sincerely hope Shriek and all the gals on the Victoria Punk are getting waited on hand and foot/claw, it’s what they deserve!)

Honestly any of the gals that aren’t the worst are my faves 😗😗 but my top picks (in no particular order) are as follows:

- Nefertari Vivi: Damsel in distress? She’s the damsel CAUSING distress! Alabasta is one of the best arcs/sagas and Vivi is the heart behind all of it! Lover her defiance, feistiness, inability to shut her yap sometimes (🤣), everything about her is lovely! (Her and Jackie are spending IWD getting on Morgan's every last nerve and sipping tea)

- Nami: Our very first girlboss, we pledge allegiance to ye 🫡🫡!! She set the precedent for good female character writing in OP with her complexity and tragedy while also being a silly goofball! Has never not slayed an outfit nor an enemy!! Plus she’s one half of the ultimate best friends duo in the entire series with Usopp!!

- Nico Robin: THEE weird girl representation!! Big old brain to think with, big old eyes to stare at you with blinking, big old mouth to say the most unsettling things! Was fighting for my life trying not to like her during the Miss All Sunday era but I couldn’t stop myself 😫😫!! Her DF is in my top 3 DF's I would want (though I do not have her gracefulness 😭😭)

- Carrot: My daughter #1! In a world where Vivi isn’t the final Strawhat I’d totally be cool with Carrot joining the party! Her arc from WCI to Wano was amazing and her bond with Pedro broke my heart every-time Toei decided to run that flashback back 😭😭! Without her we wouldn’t have gotten that iconic introduction to Sulong! I think about her art of the Strawhats almost daily!

- Charlotte Pudding: My daughter #2! Oh how she broke my heart during WCI😭😭 aND THEN SHE GOT NAPPED BY BLACKBEARD?? CAN MY GIRL CATCH A BREAK MY LORD?!? SHE'S LITERALLY JUST A GIRL!!! If/When Garp escapes/breaks out/is rescued he BETTER take Pudding with him!!

- Boa Hancock: so Pari fun fact, I was so excited to get to Impel Down because I wanted to see Ponytail Buggy that I watched the entirety of Amazon Lily in one day…which was a horrible mistake because I was crying so bad about Boa and her sister's backstory I couldn’t function. I didn’t dislike Boa beforehand but since then I have been a staunch Boa Hancock lover and defender. She has done nothing wrong ever and if she did they deserved it.

-Charlotte Brûlée: Just like me forreal. My brother (who was pushing me to get into One Piece for ages) told me there’d be a character who’s basically me in WCI and it's Brûlée! Very tall, very gangly, off-putting, says anything literally anytime, she couldn’t get more me if she tried! You could say…it was like…LOOKING IN A MIRROR!

[Honorable mentions because this could go on forever: Reiju, Stussy, Bonney, Ginny, Conis, Charlotte Lola and Chiffon, Shirahoshi, Otohime, Baby 5, Viola, Dadan.]

[rosenfey]

Hi Ambie! Fellow thanatology/necromancy enthusiast here. Is there something related you could recommend? Books, films, art, games, anything you like really!

Hi there nonnie! First of all, I apologise for the somewhat late response, it took me a while to get to this. But I am really delighted by this message as it's always wonderful to know someone shares my favourite special interest! I would absolutely love to hear your recommendations, if you have any!

Now most of the irl accounts when it comes to funeral believes and practices I know from what I studied at uni and from my own thesis research based on historical accounts so they are either in the form of my notes (non-english) or in old manuscripts (also non-english, and not publicly available) so most of this will be popular media and obviously fictional. Also under a read-more because even though I tried to make it concise I kinda failed, oops.

/.books:

Discworld Series • Terry Pratchett

A cult classic that has been a huge part of my childhood! Namely the books that are about Death, the anthropomorphised character. These would be Mort, Reaper Man (a personal favourite), and Hogfather. As someone who has a rather debilitating fear of death (I know, ironic), Discworld’s Death has helped me deal with that, at least a tiny bit. He’s kind, loves cats, and has a pale horse called Binky. His adventures include losing his job and becoming a farmhand, and stepping in for Santa during this world’s version of Christmas. It’s a must read.

Death Warmed Over: Funeral Foods, Rituals, and Customs from Around the World • Lisa Rogak

It’s a funeral cookbook!!! And as a bonus it has descriptions of funerary customs from different cultures around the world.

A Life Among the Dead: Stories from an Irish Funeral Director • David McGowan

Currently ‘up next’ on my tbr pile. It sounds really intriguing, as it’s an irl account from the death industry.

Death, Ritual and Belief • Douglas Davies

I've been told this is a good entry level book to thanatology. Haven’t read it personally yet so I can’t speak much about the academic level of the writing but it’s on my radar.

/.art:

Robert Warren Harrisson

He has a series of Danse Macabre-inspired artwork depicting Death in real-life situations, often giving it a more compassionate outlook. My fave piece is this one, where Death is depicted as a nanny taking children who died during the Spanish flu.

/.games:

Dragon Age: the Veilguard

If you, like me, enjoy the concept of benevolent necromancy, and necromancy as a way to take care of and honor the dead, as well as preserve their memories, then Veilguard does a really good job of that. And while I struggle to recommend the game as a whole, as it has things that it does really well but also things that it - in my impartial opinion - does really badly, I can easily say that their take on necromancy is the best I've seen. Ever. Just know that it takes a long time to get there and the entire necromancy arc is disappointingly short compared to the rest of the game. But hey. What’s there is worth it.

Divinity Original Sin 2

One of my top favourite games of all time. The setting, the gameplay, and the lore is excellent. Made by the same studio who made Baldur’s Gate 3, this game is the reason we even have Baldur’s Gate 3 in the first place. And the necromancy spells are seriously so much fun! I am not one for min maxing and such but you can pull off a serious dps build as a necromancer! Plus you get a spell that lets you summon a giant spider made out of bones. I call her Bonnie and headcanon that my oc knits her lovely pink scarves and sweaters. I adore her. She’s everything to me. I love spiders AND necromancy and Bonnie is the best.

Baldur’s Gate 3

Speaking of, another of my top faves! It being DnD means it has my favourite flavour of necromancy = using mushroom magic! It’s a druid subclass but you can multiclass and pick some other necromancy spells from wizard so you can have both of the best worlds if you ever so choose! I also personally love playing with mods too that let me have my mushroom zombies accompany me forever, because watching them die after a few turns is traumatising. I want Chanterelle, Toadstool, and Mr. Shrumbo to be with me always thank you very much.

Pillars of Eternity 1 and 2

Now Pillars has a different take on necromancy. What is more commonly known as necromancy is called animancy in the game world and it contains the study of the soul, but it’s more than that. I personally find this take very fresh and interesting. It also has a class that is essentially a necromancer bard. You get to summon spirits of the dead through song! And that’s dope af. I only wish I could have some skeleton friends help me complete my music number.

Avowed

Same world as the Pillars of Eternity games but it gets a special mention because I adore this game so so much. AND you get to have mushrooms on your face. AND it’s incredibly beautiful with amazing writing. AND you should go play it right now.

Elder Scrolls Online

In case you want some mmorpg recommendations as well. Now, all elder scrolls games have necromancy in them, I just personally find it a bit less fleshed out, in terms of available spells. ESO is getting a special mention on that front as it has a dedicated necromancer class with a lot of fun spells. What I also adore about elder scrolls in general is the Dunmer, the dark elves of the universe, and their unique take on death. And while they consider necromancy to be evil, just like most of the world, they pretty much practice a sanctioned version of it, where they commune with their ancestor spirits or bind skeletal remains to protect their houses from evil.

Guild Wars 2

Another mmorpg recommendation, as I find the necromancy gameplay very fun. If you enjoy more traditional, Reaper kinda take on necromancy, you get to have a big sword and a spectral scythe (also big) as one of the subclasses.

[sunshinecatie]

since you are often oh so kind with leaving me treats in my inbox i figure i'll answer your call and do the same! so, and i welcome any and all yapping and/or ranting about the fave,

recommended reading for Stephanie Brown?

So funny enough for me I struggle to give recs for Steph because it feels like she's everywhere and nowhere. Early Steph is iconic. I'm talking from Tim Drake's Robin run starting in 1993. She's silly. She's goofy. Con of that is Tim (bleh) but mores Chuck Dixon who is like... not a good person (racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, etc.) and that's very clear in his writing of Steph and Tim's relationship. He claims his characters don't have sex and then somehow Steph becomes pregnant? Like, huh? Chuck really? He also makes Tim like super preachy about how wrong abortion is so that was a choice. Honestly, I rather enjoy Steph during these issues though. She's fun and 90s Steph was the it girl. She's beautiful, smart, quippy. She's a darling of a character. For your sanity, skip War Games until you're ready emotionally. Because that book will put your heart through a blender. War Games catalogues her brief stint as Robin up to her death (yes, she died. I'm telling you. Wait to read War Games until you're ready emotionally because you will hate so many people and Bruce). My personal favorite and what I tell everyone to read because it's in my Top 10 of DC Comics ever? Stephanie Brown Batgirl (2009). This book made me fall in love with Stephanie Brown. I got it half off at at comic shop because I asked the shop owner for recommendations and she was like "I think you'd like Stephanie" and I've been hooked since. Iconically enough, Bryan Q. Miller who wrote her Batgirl actually follows me on Bluesky so that's a slay. Finally moving to more modern comics: Batgirls (2021). I recently re-read this book as it was one of the first titles I started picking up regularly when I started reading comics again. The story holds a special place in my heart. Getting to see Steph, Babs, and Cass all interact and grow as a team together is very wholesome and fun. It's a fun, fun read, but still has some really nice messaging about trusting yourself and believing in who you are. Thank you for the question Nix! I love getting to ramble about my pookies and this made me realize I need to actually make a Stephanie Brown reading list. She's just in so many single issues that its hard to like catalogue them. Maybe idk she should get a solo series or something finally (cough, cough DC)

[volkswagonblues]

my fave Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell fics

since @dathen asked...

(most of these are Childermass/Segundus, as that is the most popular pairing in the fandom)

Hal-an-Tow by halsinator A classic sex pollen fic, though arguably the sex pollen is only in the first chapter and gone after that. I love all of halsinator's fics--they're INCREDIBLE character work and the way that emotions are described are just top notch. It's so deft. Look at this, this is one of the most romantic things I've ever read and i'm about to chew glass for these two regency era dumbasses.

When Segundus opened his eyes, he saw that he had not imagined this strange idea. Childermass was indeed holding his hand, and was gazing at him with a tremendously complicated expression. It was both serious and unserious at the same time, as though he had been surprised in the middle of laughter by the sight of something quite solemn. Segundus could not really parse it out. He felt ill-equipped for the task of doing so.

The Eccentricities of his Profession by euromagpie + A Very Starecross Christmas by euromagpie The JS&MN fandom had its peak in 2015 when BBC released the tv adaptation. Newer writers now get way less comments and kudos compared to the ones written ten years ago, so I really want to shout out this series that's being actively updated right now. The historical accuracy is SO GOOD. More than any other fic these truly capture life in early 1800s in Yorkshire, which runs from mummers plays to Christmas charades to the use of tinderboxes (matches have not been invented yet!! people always forget!!). It has a scene where Childermass speaks in Yorkshire dialect! Segundus gets wrapped up in the Johannite rebellions! I'm fucking obsessed

A Spell To Join Together Articles Which Have Been Parted by kvikindi

Ok I'll let the fic's own summary do the work:

In which Arabella Strange becomes a magician and a scholar, Emma Wintertowne energetically resists convention, Flora Greysteel is haunted by a poetical ghost, John Segundus undertakes an overwhelming project, and English magic occasions much upheaval & many travels.

To me this best captures the magical spirit of the book, in which magic as a force is numinous and frightening but also extremely English and by extension, a little absurd.

A few more recs:

To the Quick by Johns_Farthings

The Bearing of a Scholar by neveralarch (peak Hanover Square-era Childermass idgaf energy)

John Childermass's Last Employer by shutterbird (peak early in Norrell's employment Childermass idgaf energy)

the measure of the year by BeautifulSoup (just good old fashioned lovely slow burn)

[augustjustice]

Fanfic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @ataliagold and @tinytalkingtina 💛🖤Thanks so much, y'all!

What fandoms do you write in?

Currently, Stranger Things. Previously, Gotham and the DCU more generally, and way way back Teen Wolf. (This is just for my published fics; I've written for other fandoms when I was scribbling away in my notebooks back in junior high and high school lol.)

How many words did you publish in 2024?

309,813. Big chunk of that was Study Buddies, co-written with the lovely @inkfowl. Easily my most productive year of writing/publishing in literally ever! Lol

What are your top three fics you wrote last year?

Gonna shout out some of my underrated (i.e. I don't talk about this as much) faves here-

Chemistry, History, and Shared Trauma

Cast Adrift

Victoria's Got Nothing On Her

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

I got writer's block back in November, and I haven't really crawled out of it since. Trying to be gentle with myself.

What have you learned?

I would say that I'm still in the process of learning to let go of perfectionism and create with the love of doing it as my central focus. But it's definitely a learning curve for me.

Did you beta any fics last year? Any faves you want to shout out?

I didn't! Definitely something I should get into in future.

What three fics from last year did you love?

not all love stories by starsdontsleep. Eddie writes a doomed love story into one of his campaigns, and the wheels start to turn for Steve when he realizes how much one of the NPCs resembles him. I adore everything starsdontsleep writes; they have fluff with light angst down pat.

set my wings on fire by @gayjinkies. Enemies to lovers canon-divergent college AU where Steve and Eddie get trapped in an elevator together. I love a post-series community college AU, and this one so perfectly nails the dynamic of Eddie 'hating' a Steve who only hazily remembers him from school (and who, it turns out, Eddie doesn't really know all that much about, either).

@tinytalkingtina and @little-annie's Running with the Devil role reversal AU series! They've done such a great job fleshing out jock!Eddie and metalhead!Steve in a way that still feels true to the idiosyncrasies of their respective characters, and it's been such a blast getting to see how things play out differently in this 'verse.

What ideas are percolating for this year?

My Steddie bodyswap fic is still at the very top of my priority list. I would like to actually kick off my Steddie Buffy AU this year as well, alongside a Kas!Eddie fic I think of as a companion to Living Dead Boy (basically with all the same horror meta commentary but a much more hopeful ending). I also started working on a S1 Steve time travels to post-S4 fic which I think will be a blast, and an Upside Down fruity four fic (Chrissy/Barb, Fred/Patrick) that's a pet project.

I am no pressure tagging @eriquin @formosusiniquis @fuctacles @bifuriouswaterbender and anyone else who sees this and wants to join in!

[solvisun]

Hello! First of all, love your blog, how you write Tsukishima is so special to me <3. Honestly for the longest time he was one of my all time favorite characters (along with Kyoya from OHSHC, surprise surprise lmao) but I ended up never consuming any content because he was so often mischaracterized! So finding all of your fics was so fun omg lol

And second, so sorry if you've already said but I have looked everywhere on your page and scrolled back 8 months LMAO, Did you ever create the part two of '011125' ? Totally alright if not! Or if you decided to discontinue it! But if you have or are still planning to I'd love to know, mwah! <3

hello lovely anon! thank you so much aaa you’re so sweet >_< !!! kyoya & tsukishima being your all time fave is very telling hehehe /pos, glad you found my small pocket of space here on tumblr and my fics <3

as for my “011125,” the part two is still on the making— it’s one of my wips that i have started but could not finish/or could not thoroughly edit, including my hershey’s kisses series, due to my packed schedule and constant fatigue from said packed schedule. though to emphasize: i don’t plan on discontinuing any of my works once it’s up. i put a lot of thought and outlining first before posting any of these fics, and thus discontinuing them wouldn’t give them the love that they deserve— at least to me. i cherish my writings, especially because it’s tsukishima <3

unfortunately i literally don’t have the time to write at the moment, and cannot give promises for my return. i did say i’d make time like a month ago, but i haven’t touched tumblr nor other of my socials since then. i actually deleted the apps, as i could never trust my adhd brain to cooperate with me & to not get distracted.

for this march, i have at least two upcoming exams (finals) next week, one college entrance exam i’m supposed to take today but cancelled it ‘cause i also have a (separate) scholarship exam review class in a few hours (and my mom won’t let me choose both). i also have another (top pick & most important) college entrance exam next week, a school contest, and a pile of backlogs too overwhelming to list everything.

i’ll also be graduating next month, talk to many people, bring my best friend back (we’ve been distant cause of all these workloads), make time for myself and my well-being cause i keep putting that off

aaaaand i may or may not have been seeing someone as of late :]

so yeah, life is lifeing for me. i might need a month or two to recover from the stress & to settle down. i literally miss everyone. so much. i hope you all are doing well please, i’m sure you’re going through things too & i do apologize for not being able to reply or get back to you like i promised. i’m always thinking about this blog and this blonde and my moots and my fics, and wishing every night that i could wake up when march is over

[samobservessonic]

StC Post-Mortems: Captain Plunder

Captain Plunder and his cast of support characters - including many enemies, two regular crew members and a whole host of disposable extra crew members - may have suddenly disappeared from StC as of issue 108, but they still enjoyed a lengthy career in the comic before that. So it’s time to take a look at what was, what might have been and my admittedly far too long list of fan ideas I’d have liked to have seen from him (I like Captain Plunder, okay?) as I examine him for today’s StC Post-Mortem

How it started

This is Richard Elson’s original design for Captain Plunder, which seems to have stayed mostly the same when he appears in the comic. It’s interesting to see notes such as “gorilla type features with tusks”. I’ve never put much thought into what “animal” Plunder was based on, since I guess I generally think of him as being more human-like, but seeing gorilla, I can see that. That makes sense to me

Captain Plunder’s actual first appearance was in the main story of issue 23, where he’s presented as a villain who’s kidnapped Amy Rose (not long after her own first appearance), but ends up being talked around to being somewhat on the heroes side - even if he did have his fingers crossed behind his back when he made a deal with them

At the time, there weren’t many other villains outside of Robotnik and the few that there were tended to be one-off characters who worked for Robotnik anyway. So when Plunder appeared to buffer the rogue’s gallery, it was a welcome addition

How it went

With lots of silly pirate adventures fighting against everyone! After his first appearance, Plunder was a somewhat regular guest in the comic, sometimes working with Sonic and sometimes against him, but always for his own gain. He generally didn’t work with Robotnik, so at least he had that going for him

Of the crew members shown above, only Filch - the lizard ghost who Plunder shot dead for taking the last biscuit -  would remain constant from the start to finish of the series as Plunder’s loyal second-in-command, with the background fodder of crew members being cycled in and out on every adventure. There was a professor guy for one story that Plunder made a big deal of, but then he was gone without a word about him in the next story

The only other notable character to join Plunder’s crew was fan fave Simpson the Cat, a forth-wall-breaking rubber hose character who Plunder met in prison and, upon helping him to escape, would become the only other permanent member of Plunder’s crew

This would also mark the beginning of Plunder’s solo stories. For his early appearances, Plunder would always be escorted by a Sonic character, but it was clear that the team wanted to focus on telling stories about Plunder himself. With his new own series being introduced as a backup story in an issue that also featured Plunder in the main Sonic story, it was a good way to get the kids who came for Sonic onboard with these extra pirate adventures

How it ended

Exactly like that. In the conclusion to a six-part Captain Plunder solo story called the Spice Maidens, we see the crew marooned on what appears to be a desert island, after their ship was blasted out of the sky by yet another old enemy who Plunder wronged

To top it all off, Plunder was still cursed with bad luck at this point. I remember as a kid that I’d sometimes wonder what became of Captain Plunder and if we’d ever see him again. Maybe I should’ve written into the comic to say that I missed his stories

Were there any unused future plans from the StC writers?

Wait, so we were going to get a Plunder and Ebony story? That would’ve been the coolest thing ever! Two of my favourite StC exclusives in the same story? Damn, we truly live in a cruel timeline that this didn’t come to pass. I do wonder what what Kitching meant by the curse being “something far more significant” as well

What would I personally have liked to see next for him if StC continued?

Are you kidding me? I cannot come up with something better than Plunder seeking help from Ebony to get his curse lifted. Just throw Super Sonic into that story as well and it’ be perfect

What if he was in other Sonic media?

I have a bunch of different ideas for stuff I’d have liked to have seen from Plunder in a fantasy scenario where he could’ve appeared in other Sonic media:

Classic Sonic Games:

By “Classic Sonic” I mean the current version of it that’s still getting new games and comics and stuff. Captain Plunder was introduced to us as a pirate from the Mystic Cave Zone and if he was in the games (or the IDW Classic Sonic comics), I’d like to see them focus on that. Give him a cool boss fight. Make him a regional boss for that zone. The sort of character where Sonic knows that if he goes to that zone, he’s going to have to deal with Plunder. Honestly, the Mystic Cave Zone theme is already like Captain Plunder’s theme in my head, so that’s the association I have with it

You could potentially use the same idea to make him something like an Egg Boss for the Mystic Cave Zone in a Post-Reboot Archie Sonic setting, but I just don’t really like the idea of him working for Eggman. He’s better as a separate problem who can be swayed either way

Modern Sonic Games:

“We already have pirates on Blaze’s world” …Cool! Add more pirates!

The Sol Dimension is still largely unexplored by the franchise, but we know there’s a lot of sea-faring, so we can assume there’s more than one group of pirates. So, have Plunder be another problem for Blaze to deal with who’s either from the Sol Dimension itself or else a dimension traveller using that starpost of his who crops up every now and then to cause trouble

Alternatively, have him be a zeti. This is where I hold my hand up and admit that I haven’t played Lost World, it’s in my Steam backlog but it came out during an era where I wasn’t that into Sonic outside of the comics. So I don’t have a lot to say about this idea. In general, Plunder is a character who I don’t think needs to be “Sonic-ified” because I think his unique design already makes him stand out as a villain in the Sonic line-up, but if he does have to get a Sonic-y makeover, then instead of making him something like a walrus or gorilla, why not use him to expand upon an area of the series that SEGA keeps calling back on (at least, they invite Zavok over for sports sometimes) but hasn’t explored much? Adding pirates to the zeti mix just sounds fun to me

Sonic Underground:

I maintain that you could wholesale put the entirety of the StC exclusive characters into Underground without having to change a thing. I mean, this guy exists in Underground for crying out loud! Plunder wouldn’t even by the most unusual sea-faring character Sonic's seen over there

Skies of Arcadia:

I also have a couple of non-Sonic suggestions and this is my first “hear me out”. Captain Plunder is a sky pirate. SEGA already has a game about sky pirates. You know who’s favourite game is Skies of Arcadia and has also worked collaboratively with Nigel Kitching in the recent past? Ian Flynn. What I’m saying is that Plunder could totally work in this world. Let Kitching (& Dobbyn) handle the Plunder parts and let Ian handle the Skies of Arcadia parts and I’m sure they could make a fun crossover of it Captain Plunder, No Strings Attached:

My final suggestion and probably my greatest wish for the character is that Captain Plunder could’ve existed outside of Sonic Yeah, I know I went hard on wanting to include all of the Plunder stories in my blogging because he’s part of Sonic’s world, but mostly it was just because I like them! Team Nigel clearly had stories they wanted to tell about this character outside of Sonic, they were always very quick to ditch the Sonic elements in the Plunder stories up until they could finally tell a few stories that were purely Captain Plunder stories, so I want to let them cook. The reason I know about this character is because of Sonic, sure, but now that I do know about him, it’s a shame that he’s tied to Sonic when this could’ve been a wholly original series. And yeah, we’ve seen guys use the Sonic brand to tell stories about their own stuff before - look at Archie Knuckles or the Paramount Knuckles series - but Captain Plunder is one time where I’m like “Actually, this slaps and I would love to have more!” It makes me regret that after StC finished, I didn’t think to look into other stuff these creators worked on. Hell, I could still do that right now, but I’m gonna get this blog finished first

So yeah, my final answer is that I think there’s lots of ways you could fit Plunder into the Sonic brand that I have fun thinking about, but ultimately I’d want to keep Plunder as he is… just without the Sonic strings attached