#he's absolutely my son and I am his proud mama

[taketwoinink]

if I may make an addition... My cat rooting around in the trash can: *little thieving noises* Me: "Absolutely not!" *escorts her to her food bowl* My cat: "Mother I fear you have gone blind, for clearly we see that this bowl is empty." Me: "It's because I didn't get the food wet first, isn't it?" My cat: "Release me from thy view so I may rummage in the depths for something to sate my endless hunger! Spare me that I might not suffer and starve in these cruel conditions!" Me: "Yeah it's cause I didn't get the food wet." My cat: "MOTHER RELEASE ME-" Me: *gets her food wet* My cat: "Oh look, sustenance!"

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[icarusredwings]

i *live* for your agere wade omg 😢🙏🏻 i also age regress there's just something about your favorite character being like you that makes me smile :) your writing is absolutely wonderful as well!! :3

Hi hon, Im so proud of you for doing what's good for you, and I am so happy that you've found something to enjoy that makes you feel good about yourself.

Thank you so much for the support. I've seen more people mention how excited they were to find cute, mild, and nonnsexual regressions for Wade, so I've decided to put it on A03 for more people to enjoy.

I actually was nervous about posting them in general because of the stigma around it but seeing how supportive you all have been (I dont know why im even shocked) it's made me a little more confident in my writing. I was abused quite a bit as a child, and while I don't regress, I do have a special attachment to my stuffed animals and find comfort in kids' shows. Annnddd, as someone who was working towards becoming a geneticist? It's comforting to know that some very intelligent and successful people also do.

While you're waiting for me to write more or upload to A03, have some HCs:

Depending on what's going on, he fluctuates between 5-8.

Wade has 3 caregivers, Al, Vanessa, and Logan. He loves them all so much but certian care givers are for certain things. Al (Mama) is he goes too for booboos, Ness (Mommy) is who takes him out the most, to the park and doctors (If things get too out of hand, she can pull the "He's my disabled son you bastard" card, and Logan (Kitty) is general. The one youll find when wade is casually colouring or playing tea party with.

He'll take "sippies" but hes a bit too old for them because he chews the tops off.

Cereal, mac and cheese, pizza, bassically anything he already eats as an adult, including spicy tacos.

He doesn't have a lot of toys (and if he does, they're from a give away or a dumpster) so is very possesive of them and will instantly get upset if you try to take them away or "hurt" them.

Wade is the type to just chill with you on the couch and eat snacks if you don't have the energy to play or take him to the park. Even as a child, he was very emotionally intelligent, and it shows.

Most kids would have tantrums, but he seems to either be understanding or go cry in silence while isolated (its what hes used too)

As much as people say he's a potty mouth, I don't see it. Not yet anyway. Sure he'll say "bad words" sometimes but as someone whos used to being screamed at to shut up all the time, I believe he talks so much as an adult BECAUSE he wasn't allowed as a kid so he's more of an observer unless you are unfortunately his favorite and then hes going to tell you random facts.

Oftentimes, the "perfect child" are ones that are independent, quiet, and who monitor their emotions/ actions around other kids and adults. This means being forced to act older than you actually are, walking on eggshells around adults and trying to do things by himself.

He likes to wear clothes that are too big for him rather then tight. (Bonus points if they're a hoodie or a sweater)

He likes baths and sometimes will tell you that his "Skin hurts" when really it's just itchy/peeling/ needs lotion.

He's not big on babytalk but "puppy" "mama" "mommy" "park?" "Kitty scratch bad guys" "I watch tv?" "Go home?" "Play horses?" Are common. Its either small unfinished sentneces or endless rambling with full sentences that repeat themself. Logan has once heard "Did you know-?" 30 times once all in 10 minutes

He has a stuffy of a Wolverine named Fluffy from Kitty, a unicorn named Buttercream from Mommy, and a bear shaped dog toy from Mama. In her defense she didn't know it was a dog toy (because shes blind and cant read duh) but Wade loves it more that it squeaks.

Because kidWade (He is "NOT little", he's a "Big boy") is bigger than them, he has issues playing a little... rough... with other kids. He has infact shoved a kid into the sand while playing tag.

Wade is very erm... possesive.. over his caregivers and will act out if he believes Kitty is ignoring him. Because of their history, hes even more prone to acting out with Ness and has gone as far as telling someone they looked like a burnt quesodilla that "had a baby with a wrinkled cucumber" before (and will do it again)

Flappy hands. Giggles. Screeches. That is all that needs to be said.

Wade likes music, arts, and crafts. Physical exercise is nice too but naps are needed afterwards.

Naps must be willing. If you tell him to go take a nap he'll just stomp his feet and cry that hes "being good" so "doesn't need one" bassically, naps are punishment.

Tw for sensitive topics such as mental and physical health

The worst part about having Wade isn't that he is a "brat" or "bad", no infact wade barley ever is a brat. He's very people pleasing because he just wants as much affection as possible. it's the fact that you can't trick him or keep him from doing something. He's too smart.

"Come on baby, we're going to the park"

"Yay!!- wait.... Mommy... Mommy the park is that way...Mommy this is how you go to the mean doctors! They're gonna rip my teeth out!"

It's even HARDER to care for a kid who can escape literally anything and can run all the way home if you upset him too badly. The only thing really you can do is call a different cg and double up on the reassurance. (And maybe a bribe)

Another thing is that just because he's in this headspace doesn't mean his issues are gone. Between the nightmares, the flashbacks, the scary hallucinations that he can't understand, intrusive thoughts about harming a person, impusive thoughts, and just straight up having to deal with cancer on top of it all, etc.

Do you know how hard it is to explain to a child that they're nauseous and exhausted because the cells inside of him are eating the other cells, dying, and healing all at the same time?

[daisyblog]

It’s a…

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Gender reveal.

Harry and YN had been for an early gender scan, due it being so close to Christmas and they are going to be travelling back up North for the holidays. 

Their family and friends had sent in their predictions the night before, all trying to guess what baby Styles was going to be. 

Anne: Girl💕

Gemma: Boy💙

Michal: Boy! 

Louis: Girl x 

Lottie: 💙💙💙

Phoebe: 💕

Daisy: 🩷

Jen & Len: Girl xx

Mark & Sally: 💙

Jeff: Glenne and I think Girl!!

Mitch: Boy!

Sarah: Girl xx

Pauli: BABY STYLES IS A GIRL! I think! 

Lloyd: Booooooy!!

Brad: Girl! p.s good luck H😂

James: I think boy! 

Louise: Lux and I think girl💞

Niall: Girl!❤️

Liam: Boy! 

Zayn: Khai says girl x 

In all honestly Harry and YN didn’t mind if their baby was a boy or girl, they just prayed for a happy and healthy little one. 

Once YN and Harry were called into the room, YN laid down on the bed with Harry sat next to her, holding her hand for comfort. 

“Are we ready to see your baby?.” The sonographer asked. 

“More than ready!” YN smiled at Harry, who brought their joined hands up his lips and pressed a quick peck to them. 

The room was silent whilst the sonographer moved the probe around YN’s tummy. The sound of a racing heartbeat broke the silence, and YN’s new favourite sound could be heard. Their baby’s heartbeat!

“You have one wriggly baby…they don’t want to keep still for me today!” The lady joked, causing YN and Harry to laugh as they watched the screen. 

“Is everything okay? With the baby I mean?”. Harry asked, something he liked doing at every appointment. 

“If I could use the word perfect, I would.” The older woman smiled. “But I can’t, but honestly your baby is growing absolutely beautifully in there…so keep doing what you’re doing Mama!”. 

Harry gave YN a proud smile, knowing that YN needed to hear that today after having a few days of insecurities. 

“Would you like to know the gender?”.

“Yeah please!” Harry didn’t hesitate, eagerly wanting to know if they were having a baby son or daughter. 

After a few more pokes and prodes on YN’s tummy, the woman smiled. “Congratulations Mum and Dad…you’re having a…”. 

---

Originally YN and Harry were going to share their baby’s gender with their families at Christmas. But not wanting to take away the attention away from Louis on his birthday or the younger children at Christmas, they decided they would share the news with everyone at the same time. 

Keeping it simple, YN sent all their family and friends the same photo sharing the news. Both waiting for the reactions!

Louis: 

OI OI!!

I am absolutely buzzing right now! I’m chuffed to pieces for you both. I can’t wait to meet your baby and you best believe I’m going to spoil her rotten! 

Give bump a kiss from her Uncle Lou!! Can’t wait to see you all Christmas. Love you xx

Anne:

Congratulations my darlings. Words can’t describe how proud I am of you both. You really do deserve all the happiness. Thank you for making me a Grandma, but a bigger thank you for blessing me with a precious granddaughter🩷I love you three so much xx

Gemma:

YOU’RE HAVING A GIRL!!

I’M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE TO A GIRL

I’M HAVING A NIECE!!

🩷🩷🩷

Lottie: 

YEEEEEEEEESSSS! OMG I’M CRYING! I’m so happy for you both💖I can’t wait to meet your baby girl xxxxx

Phoebe:

I KNEW IT!! I’M SO EXCITED!! OUR BABY GIRLS ARE GOING TO BE BESTIES🩷🩷

Daisy: 

Another Niece!💓💓💓I’m the luckiest auntie in the world. Congratulations xx

Mark: 

Another granddaughter💕I am truly blessed. Congratulations!!xx

Jen: 

What beautiful news. Congratulations sweethearts. We are over the moon for you. Love you all xx

Jeff:

A mini YN…good luck H😂😂

Congratulations both! We are thrilled for you and can’t wait to meet your little girl❤️

Mitch: 

Uncle Mitchy can’t wait!! Congratulations both! 

Sarah:

Aww how cute! Congratulations guys!💖

Pauli:

YESSSSS!! WOOOOOO!! 🩷💖💓💕💞

Lloyd:

NO WAY!!❤️

Brad:

You’re going to have your hands full H😂I’m only joking! Congratulations both, amazing news and I can’t wait to meet her🥰

James:

I should have known you were a girl dad H! Best feeling in the world! Congratulations both! X

Louise T: 

TEAM PINK🩷Love ya both!xx

Niall: 

Uncle Niall favourite niece!! ❤️

Liam: 

Wow! Congratulations both, what a lucky little girl she will be to have you both ❤️

Zayn: 

Khai and I can’t wait to meet her! Congrats to you both, FaceTime soon? x 

---

yntomlinson story:

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream @treehouse-mouse

[arcane-vagabond]

Congratulations for 100 followers! 🥳❤️

How do you think Jake is right after the birth of your first baby?

Thank you so much!!

And Jake would absolutely be so soft, my GOD. If you'd like to read the prequel, go here!

He'd be right by your side, still holding your hand and stroking your hair lovingly, torn between looking at you and your newborn baby.

You could hear the cries of your son as the nurses cleaned him up, and you fought to keep your eyes open despite the exhaustion that threatened to overtake you.

"You did so good, mama," Jake cooed as he showered your hairline with kisses before leaning down to press a slow, gentle kiss to your lips. "I'm so proud of you."

"Do you want to hold him?" the nurse asked you, your son wrapped up in her arms. You nodded vehemently, already reaching out your hands as Jake helped to prop you up against your pillow. You took your son gently in your arms, tears already threatening to fall. He was beautiful with your hair and his father's nose. You felt a sob threaten to break free, and Jake looked at you with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" he asked. You shook your head.

"I'm just so happy," you whisper, smiling at him and then back at your son. Jake hums, placing another gentle kiss to your temple.

"Get some rest, mama. We'll be here when you wake up," he said, taking your son into his own arms.

A few hours later, you woke up to a darkened room. Groggily, you turned your head to see Jake still holding your son at the foot of your bed.

"Hey, Bubba," he whispered. Your heart threatened to burst at the sight of your husband as he cradled the baby gently in his arms, tiny fingers wrapped around his much larger one. "I'm so happy to finally meet you."

Your son gurgled, and Jake smiled softly. "Been waitin' a long time to meet you. Thought your mama was gonna kick my ass if you stayed inside her one more day."

You had to stop yourself from chuckling at his words.

"But all those late nights of runnin' out to get your mama what she was craving was worth it," he continued. "I love her so much, ya know? Didn't think it was even possible for me to love her more until you came into the world."

Your son gave a small cry, and Jake laughed. "That's right, Bubba. She is amazing. I know you don't know her yet, but she's smart, funny, kind, and so very, very beautiful. I'm not sure how I managed to snag her, but I am one lucky son of a gun."

Jake moved to sit down in the chair next to your bed, taking special care to not disturb either of you.

"I'm never lettin' either of you go. That's a promise."

[thestarstoasun]

Will and Naomi Solace don't normally celebrate Easter considering the whole she slept with a Greek god, had a demigod child but could only tell her small-town religious family that she had a one nightstand and got pregnant thing. She had been told they still loved her but was still publicly shamed and shunned until she got famous for her music.

Will didn't think his grandparents, uncles, or aunts deserved his mom in their lives after what they put her through, but he figured if she could forgive them, he could too. Except they didn't know he was bisexual. They didn't know about Nico. Will had been all too willing to tell his sweet, loving, adoring mother about his boyfriend. He made sure Nico knew when he first brought it up that there was no rush, and just like when it came to everything, he was willing to wait forever. (Nico had actually stared at him in disbelief, and with the oh-so-noticeable red splashing across his pale skin muttered a quiet, "Idiota". Will didn't need to be fluent in Italian to know /that one/, even when he first heard it.)

Introducing Nico to his mother was a mistake, not because of any homophobia or monster attacks, but just how much they both love to embarrass him. His mother shares stories and shows pictures (which Will panics about because technology and demigods don't mix well) of a much younger and embarrassing Will, and by the look in Nico's eyes Will knows he is never living it down. In return, his mother learns of his embarrassing flirting in the middle of a war.

The memory was nice now, a year and a half later, especially since Will was currently on the verge of an entire mental breakdown. Being back in Texas had that effect on him. At camp, he locked away all panic, grief, loss, suffering in order to run the infirmary and be strong for his siblings, but here, he had no infirmary and no siblings. He could honestly care less of what these people thought of him - Lee's opinion had mattered, Michael's opinion had mattered, His mama's opinion matters, Nico's feelings and opinion matters. Hades, he cares more for Apollo's opinion than these people, and he was still struggling with his own complicated feelings towards his father - not that they ever showed outwardly.

Will was more worried that these people that shared blood with him would shame his and Nico's relationship and upset his boyfriend. Nico had suffered so much pain and suffering already, especially when it came to his sexuality and accepting that there wasn't anything wrong with himself for loving boys. Will was so proud of how far Nico had come and felt sick to his stomach at being an indirect cause of a relapse.

"You worry too much," The words sounded so beautiful that they must have been spoken by an angel. (They weren't, they were spoken by none other than Nico Di Angelo, but what can he say, he is Apollo's son. It is in his nature to be dramatic at least sometimes.)

"I don't think I worry enough. I mean, there is jus' so much that could go wrong. Mama-" Will shot Nico, who was failing to hide a wide smile, a curious expression unknowingly tilting his head slightly to the right. "What's so amusin' about this?"

"I think I finally understand what Lou Ellen meant when she called you a dog." Will stared blankly absolutely stunned out of his panic, his lips formed a small pout that was absolutely not adorable. Nico got up from where he sat comfortably on Will's bed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist, resting his head on Will's shoulder. "Breathe. I'm already prepared to ditch this dinner and shadow-travel us both and your mother out somewhere nice at the slightest sign of trouble. Catholic guilt is a bitch, but I am done letting it, Gods, or anyone control my life."

Will felt both relieved and worried. Nico had learned so much about his boundaries with his powers over the last year, but it didn't mean Will didn't worry. "Is that why-?"

"Yes, that is why I slept so much today, il mio sole. Even before we left camp you were doing that nervous thing where you wrap bandages around your wrist. I figured something was bothering you and it had to do with our vacation. You love your mom, so it was obviously this dinner. I'm from the 30s, not an idiot, William, amore mio."

Will couldn't help but gently remove Nico's arm's from around him and sweep the boy off his feet. This frustrating, self-destructive, annoyingly attractive, smartass paid way too much attention to a simple healer such as himself, but Will couldn't imagine his life without Nico in it anymore. The half-hearted glare he received filled him with so much warmth and made him smile so wide it hurt, which in turn caused Nico to turn away to hide the slight upturn of his own lips.

[blacklegsanjiii]

oh my goodness I am in absolute LOVE with Croc!Sanji. So much potential in this little prince! I know your idea has him and Robin meeting the Strawhats in Alabasta, but how would it go if they did end up meeting him in Baratie? Maybe Zeff got partial custody lol and Sanji was bored and thought why the hell not. Vivi and Igaram dont recognize him at Whiskey Peak but he sure as hell recognizes them and that is the most fun time of his life because most of Baroque who knows who he is is trying to figure out what the fuck their Mr Prince is doing here and Robin figures it out but is mostly just amused. Gets a little trickier with the Little Garden dendenmushi call bc Croc def knows his sons voice and is too busy being confused to try to stop the Strawhats. Robin has popcorn and is watching the show. The crew figures out something is definitely up with their cook during Alabasta but he does an admirable job of hiding it. However the reveal goes is up to you!!

adoring all your ideas over here <3 be proud of yourself !!!!

Amazing. Croc has to figure out a co-parenting situation with Zeff who refuses to come back to the grand line so hes the one doing all the shuttling. It becomes a joke for Baratie and Baroque that they have completely different views of parenting and women. Croc keeps yelling at Zeff to shove his "chivalry" up his ass because the women Sanji knows will kick his ass if acts like that but also Sanji isn't just a boy(Thanks Mama Clay!) And needs to be treated like a fucking kid, a deadly one at that.

Zeff doesn't know what to do because sometimes Sanji is dressing immaculate suits and other times Sanji is in a very pretty dress with make up on and his hair like shoulder length and styled well either way. Zeff wants to strangle them all the time. Crocodile will only eat when Sanji is cooking because fuck his coparent, he's a dumb fucker. So fucking dumb. Sanji is just in constant agony.

Croc gets the dad title and Zeff gets called "geezer" and Croc absolutely rubs it in his face. Daz is "Uncle Daz" and Bon Clay is "Auntie" and that's it.

Crocodile gets a call from Baratie saying Sanji joined a pirate crew who said they'll help him find the All Blue. The massive groan he lets out makes Robin giggle lightly. She's seen Sanji in all his chaotic mess so she'll know this will be entertaining. Galdino looking at Sanji and Sanji looking between him and crew and crossing their arms. Like every time they run into someone from Baroque their looking at Sanji and they're looking right back.

I feel like the reveal would be after Robin joins the crew and mentions Sanji easily teaming up with someone to overthrow their dad. Sanji's whole reaction basically boils down to 'it's really fucking funny to overthrow my dad with the daughter of the man he overthrew' which makes Robin laugh and the crew gawk at them.

Also thank you!! I'm glad you like these!

[munariplans]

your writing is remarkable. saw you were open to doing drabbles for the chaos makes the muse series so i wondering if we can see something about natasha and reader as parents? how many kids did they end up having?

hi anon,

so sorry for the delayed response! i am open to drabbles and requests, and i've written a peek into natasha and reader's lives as parents in this fic below, hope it answers your questions and enjoy!

i would also like to preface that while this is related to chaos makes the muse, you can absolutely read it without having read / completed the series :)

The final lap ensues, your eldest son a tenth of a second slower than the go-kart in front of him, and you sighed. Putting your hands together in a silent prayer, you hoped with all your might that he might be able to pull an early exit into one of the turns, cutting off his only opponent and retaking the lead in the race.

The karts whizzed past the stands, your hair followed in the wind. Each kart’s engine the only loud noises in the air as everyone watched the race with bated breath. Your phone was ringing; probably a note from your secretary. You quickly switched it off as the final turn before the chequered flag appeared for the karts.

Nicholas didn’t make it to first.

Still, you rushed over with the rest of the parents to where the karts were coming in slowly and parking, and quickly found your son with his head down, still sitting in his kart as celebrations for first place rang through the air.

“Hey, there’s my champion,” you kneeled down to his level, smiling as you helped him remove his helmet. “You did your best, and Mama and I are so proud of you.”

“I didn’t win,” was all he said before engulfing you in a hug, soaking your jacket with tears he refused to show anyone else. It reminded you of Natasha’s own habit of doing so, and you only hugged him tighter.

“It doesn’t matter,” you reassured, walking him to the small podium, “It doesn’t matter to me, or to your Mama. There’s always the next race, and the next. We’ll tweak your engine together, so you go even faster, and we’ll review your data together too. You are forever my pride, Nicholas, losing one race isn’t going to change that.”

–

On the drive home, as Nicholas fell asleep in your passenger seat hugging his second-place trophy, you received a text from Natasha at home.

Are you on the way home? I gave up on Nathaniel’s maths homework, by the way, I need you.

You smiled to yourself at the text, shaking your head and turning your attention back to the road in hopes that you would arrive home faster.

–

“Mama, we’re homeee!” Nicholas’ mood was considerably lighter as he passed the threshold of your home, proudly showing off his trophy. But alas, Natasha was not in the living room as he had expected, nor was she in the kitchen or anywhere in his vision. Natasha always greeted the both of you home after Nicholas’ karting races, so you knew only one thing must have happened.

You rubbed the boy’s back comfortingly, and directed him to place his trophy along with all his others on the shelf. “Mama’s probably asleep, sweetheart. You know how tired she is these days, your little sister’s not giving her the easiest time.”

At his pout, you knelt down to his height again. “Hey, you can still show her your trophy tomorrow, I’m sure she would be just as excited. How about I make you a box of mac-and-cheese and we can share it without her knowing? I say that’s a fantastic way to celebrate, yeah?”

You were engulfed right into another hug as he smiled into your neck; another one of Natasha’s little quirks.

–

With Nicholas settled in at the dining table and tucking into his bowl of mac-and-cheese (that Natasha had always disapproved of you making for the boys), you snuck into your younger son’s room, the lights still on.

Nathaniel was clearly in over his head, his ginger hair a mess and balls of crumpled paper scrawled with maths equations strewn across the floor. He had fallen asleep on his desk, and your heart squeezed at the fact that he had to wait for so long before you came to the rescue.

You slowly shook him awake. “Nathan, I’m home.”

Opening his eyes blearily, Nathaniel leaned his head against your shoulder as you took the papers from underneath him, shaking the drool on them dry.

“You smell like your office’s air freshener, yuck.”

You tipped his head playfully. “Been there since eight this morning, bud. Didn’t have time to change before I had to go for your brother’s race in the evening. Now I’m here doing your homework with you.”

“Don’t you get tired?” He yawned as you began scanning the questions.

Truthfully, a wave of fatigue had long past swept through your bones; even in the stands watching Nicholas race, even as you entered the office that morning. With Natasha set to deliver your daughter any day now, coupled with Nathaniel’s exams approaching and Nicholas’ races, you truly felt like you were drowning most days. To top it all off, business was booming; clients were streaming in by the dozens most days, and you rarely even had time to breathe between waking up and going back to bed for the past few weeks.

But you only smiled at your son, and came back with, “And if I do, what am I supposed to do? Stop working?”

“Yeah, and spend time playing more video games with me.”

“And who’s going to be able to afford to buy those games for you, kid? Your brother’s racing career, your mother’s shopping sprees, even your baby sister’s shopping sprees when she’s born and older, I need to work so you guys can keep having these things.”

He gave a non-committal grunt. A sign for you to bring his attention back to the papers in front of the both of you. “Let’s start, shall we? I promise we can steal your brother’s leftover mac-and cheese if we can finish this by midnight.”

–

By the time both boys were tucked into bed and snoring softly into their pillows, you knew you were about two seconds away from dropping dead onto the ground with exhaustion. Shuffling your feet to your shared bedroom with Natasha, you barely made out the shape of her figure before collapsing onto your side of the bed, your eyelids begging to close themselves.

But it was the soft drawl in her voice that woke you up. “You’re home already, baby?”

“Been home since seven, darling, had to make Nicholas dinner and finish up the rest of Nathaniel’s homework.”

At your confession, Natasha sat up, guilt coursing through her at her dismissal of you returning home and doing so much with the boys. Lately, it felt like the ‘team effort’ she had promised you would come with more children had been more solo on your end, regardless how many times you reminded her that she was busy growing a third human within her herself, and it could not compare to the amount of stress she was putting her own body in.

Her hands found themselves carding through your hair, and you shifted further up to lie across her legs. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“For what?”

“For not being there. You were in the office so early today, you had to do so much work, and then having to be there for Nicholas’ race and taking care of Nathaniel after, too. It’s so much,” Natasha found a lump in her throat that she was unable to swallow.

Instead, you shook your head, merely reaching out for her hand and rubbing your thumb over hers lovingly. “All part of the process, love. Please don’t feel guilty about this. Besides, I enjoy spending time with the boys, and letting you rest.”

You could sense your wife was still apprehensive, so you reached into your pocket and pulled out your mobile phone, in hopes of distracting her mind. “Look, Nicholas got second place in the race today. Kid was a bit disappointed, but you can see how well he drove.”

Natasha began watching the clip of Nicholas’ final lap in the race, one hand resting over her bump affectionately as she smiled at her eldest. Getting up from your own position, you noticed the legs you had been lying on were incredibly swollen, and you cursed internally at the fact you had been neglecting your wife in exchange for caring for your sons, too.

So when she physically let out soft pants and happy moans once you started massaging her feet, Natasha had to drop the phone and put a pillow over her face in embarrassment once she caught your grin at her. “Baby, you’re exhausted…please…”

“Nonsense,” you assured, “Anything for you. And anything to hear more of those amazing sounds too, please, love. They’re music to my ears.”

You were met with an eye roll and a laugh that alleviated any shred of tiredness you thought you had earlier. Everything was worth it, for her. –

Natasha thought you were dead to the world in your slumber, seeing the day you had and the pent-up stress and exhaustion accumulated of taking care of her, and the boys. You rightfully deserved to be, as she watched your features, asleep beside her with an imaginary ‘best parent in the world’ crown she imagined on your head. Her heart squeezed with how much she knew you loved and sacrificed for the boys and her.

But she had to wake you, unfortunately. There was no other option.

So when you felt her hands shaking you awake and rolling over to check that it was only half past three in the morning, you groaned at having to be awake so early. “Yes, Nat?”

“My water broke.”

She had said it so calmly, almost serene, that you would have found it almost unbelievable had her voice not been the only thing filling the white noise in the room. Then, as if you couldn’t hear her the first time, she reinforced, “Baby’s coming.”

You were up with a start, still half-hazy with details, but mind alert and screaming at you to do something. You had been through this twice, a third shouldn’t be a surprise at that point.

With the hospital bag packed by the door, Yelena on her way to babysit the boys until the morning, and your hair finally combed enough to a civilised hairstyle, you turned back to Natasha, slowly waddling down the stairs.

“How are you so calm?” You asked, rushing forward to help carry her, despite her protests at such.

Once her feet were back on the ground, she squeezed your shoulder just a little too rough, and her eyes shut in pain. “Am…not. But it’s the only thing I can do to keep the pain manageable. Can we please drive to the hospital, now?”

–

“A little more, love, just a little more.”

“I’ll fucking break your neck once we’re done if you dare say that to me again!”

At Natasha’s scream, and the threatening words pinned against you, you kept your mouth shut, instead choosing to recline a little in the stiff plastic chair the operating team gave you, in hopes that it would also alleviate the pain from your hand getting crushed under her grip.

You leaned your forehead against your wife’s, and tried to focus on the arrival of your daughter, and not how much pain she was putting Natasha through currently.

Finally, with the last push from Natasha, and both of her hands crushing the bones on one of yours together, the baby was out, and it was the moment that you knew you had just fallen in love with your daughter. It had happened twice before, but never the same.

–

Bags under your eyes, shoulders sinking in on themselves, Natasha knew you had the telltale signs of burnout and exhaustion written all over your features. But as she watched you bent over the small bassinet the hospital had wheeled your daughter in, a hint of a smile on your face watching her interact with her first few moments in the world, she knew that you would have given up everything, risked it all and more, for this moment to happen.

All those years ago, when she had met you at the club, when she merely knew you as the broken, fragile lawyer with an ego bigger than the sky itself, she found it hard to believe she could witness your growth to now, the very best parent you could be to her three children. Sacrificing each weekend to tune up Nicholas’ go-kart and coaching him for races, coming home each night to help Nathaniel with his homework, and then having to deal with her mood swings, pregnancy hormones, and all sorts of aches you had to massage and sort out, she wondered if she really had gotten so lucky at times; or if it was all just a dream for her. You were patient with the boys, and her, you were kind, you never complained. You were everything she had always wanted.

Natasha almost said something; she started, but couldn’t find it in herself to finish. She called out your name, and said, “I…”

You looked up at her, and the words caught in her throat. “Yes?”

“I…”

“Mummy! Mama!” For the first time in a long while, Natasha heard the two boys’ voices in unison, cutting through your small moment as they rushed into the room, followed by a very haggard-looking Yelena behind.

“Gentle, gentle, boys! What did I tell you?” Yelena’s voice sounded like the boys had taken ten years off her life. At her state, Natasha saw you grinning too, and thanked her quietly for being able to come and babysit at such short notice. “Now move, I want to see my niece, too!”

Making space on the bed for Nicholas and Yelena to sit beside her, along with you at the foot of the bed with Nathaniel on your shoulders, Natasha cradled the newest addition to her family lovingly, her elder brothers already cooing and fighting over who gets to hold her first.

Her eyes met yours, and the words that were stuck came rushing back. She wanted to mouth I love you.

You smiled back at her, and when Yelena brought the boys down later on to grab a snack, you said it right back, your daughter in your arms this time. “I love you too.”

“Mm, enough to give me a fourth child?”

You looked up to her in panic, and at the expression on your face, Natasha found it hard to keep her own serious, as she burst out in giggles. “I was kidding.”

“Respectfully, my love,” you replied, “If this baby is not our last, I don’t think I am going to even live until I see forty.”

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 15

October/November 1987

"Oh Milla, that's marvellous, absolutely wonderful!", Rosalind cheered excitedly and even had to wipe a few tears away. "What an honour!", she added, looking at her husband. "Isn't it, Bruce?" "Yes, darling, of course.", Camilla's father replied and cleared his throat. He'd never been as much of a passionate monarchist as his wife was but he couldn't deny that it was, indeed, an incredibly kind offer from the Queen Mother to hold Theodora's baptism at the Royal Chapel. Of course, he had always been aware of both his son-in-law and his daughter's close connection to the Royal Family, he himself had been knowing the Queen Mother for ages - the old lady was a good one without a doubt! - and, yes, it was particularly nice of the Princess Royal to become little Thea's godmother - but he couldn't help it: something about the whole thing felt kind of… suspicious. Yes, both Queen Mother and Princess Anne had been present at Andrew and Milla's wedding back in the day, and yes, the Prince of Wales had agreed to become the godfather of their first child which was definitely a great honour and proof of their close friendship - but nobody had really cared about Laura at her time a few years ago so it happened rather unexpected that all of a sudden they were all making such a fuss about the little one. Of course, Thea was their little angel, their pride and joy and the sweetest baby he'd ever seen - along with all of his other wonderful grandchildren - but he stuck with it: something about it was strange.

"My goodness, what am I going to wear?", Rosalind asked almost in panic and Camilla was more than grateful when Annabel, who thank goodness had been able to attend her little Afternoon Tea as well, assured her: "You'll definitely find something, Mama!" Camilla herself still hadn't come to terms with the prospect of having her baby christened in the Royal Chapel with all three of them present, the Queen Mother, the Princess Royal, and the Prince of Wales, who also happened to be her secret lover and the secret father of her baby. What a ridiculous soap opera! But the Queen Mother hadn't accepted any kind of protest and, of course, Andrew had been delighted, and when eventually Anne had offered to become a godmother, there really had been no escape anymore. Not that she minded that Thea was going to be Anglican - she herself was and, frankly, she'd never been too keen on some of the Catholic elements of Christianity but then again she'd never been so much into religion that she'd have bothered. What she did worry about, though, was her daughter's safety and the attention they were all giving her at the moment, and especially the public attention they would eventually attract with that big fat royal christening wasn't quite what she had planned or hoped for. All eyes would be on them, they'd appear in the newspapers even - they had with Tom back in the day but that had been different; their names would be in everybody's mouths and even if nobody was going to be suspicious, it felt wrong and too risky and just made her feel very uncomfortable. All that she wanted was for her baby to be safe and grow up as normal as possible and as far away from the limelight as possible!

At least Annabel had agreed to become a godmother as well, and Camilla was more than grateful for her sister's constant, loyal support. Apart from her two men, she was the only one who knew the truth, the only person she could talk to and who understood her concerns. "It's not surprising that Andrew's enjoying the attention.", she had casually said when Camilla had first told her about the christening. "He loves to be the star, the hero, and he's super proud of his royal connections, no matter how they might come about." She couldn't deny that her sister had a point here. God, how on earth was she supposed to get through that awful ordeal without letting anything show? She'd just have to in the end…Theodora Elizabeth Anne was christened at the Chapel Royal, St James Palace, London, two weeks later in the presence of Her Majesty The Queen Mother as well as Their Royal Highnesses The Prince of Wales and Princess Anne, The Princess Royal, who even became little Thea's godmother. Andrew almost burst with pride and gave a picture perfect, pride and loving daddy (much too Charles' displeasure but, thank goodness, and thanks to a few warning glances Camilla decently gave him, he managed not to let anything show). Camilla herself felt absolutely miserable all day long and could hardly eat anything, especially when Andrew handed Thea to her godmother, saying: "Go and meet Auntie Anne, darling.", which caused her hissing: "She's not 'Auntie Anne'! Don't give her ideas, Andrew! She'll be 'Ma'am' to the children, just as Charles is 'Sir' and nothing else!" Andrew had just rolled his eyes at her, as if she was the boring spoiler of the party but this really wasn't funny and she was more than happy and relieved once the professional photographs had been taken and the whole charade was finally over without any further incidents. "It was a wonderful day.", Charles gushed when they talked on the phone the next day. "I'm so glad we could do it that way." Of course he was happy that he'd been blessed to participate and in some way, Camilla was, too; she loved him and he was Thea's father after all. But it had also been incredibly risky and she had felt miserable all day long. They couldn't go on like that. What would he do next, invite them all for Christmas at Sandringham, Easter at Windsor Castle or maybe Buckingham Palace for the next Trooping the Colour? No, that wasn't possible. They had to keep some distance and he had to understand that. It was for their daughter's safety… "When am I going to see you both again?", he asked with a longing voice, which gave her goosebumps. "I miss you… I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you, darling." He sounded so sad and desperate that it almost brought tears to her eyes and, though she tried to fight it, she couldn't deny that she felt just the same. They hadn't had a proper weekend together since Thea's birth and after three months she started to feel needs other than sleeping and feeding her baby again… In fact, she was just as desperate to see him as he was to see her. "I miss you, too, darling.", she sighed, trying hard not to sound too obviously desperate. "Let me check with some friends and see if I can arrange something, somewhere..." "Please, darling. And let me know where and when. I can make it anytime.", he promised and she laughed. "Of course, because the Prince of Wales's diary is one of the emptiest in the United Kingdom.", she chuckled, rolling her eyes, knowing exactly just how busy he always was and what a drama it had always been to find an appointment. "Well, darling, as you said: I'm the Prince of Wales and if I want to meet with the mother of my child, my wish shall be everybody's command…" "You might be the Prince of Wales but you also are an idiot.", she giggled, before adding: "The most adorable idiot I've ever met. I love you, darling." "Love you, too."

[bedlemboy]

More Incorrect Star Wars Quotes

Maul: I called you here because I’m in peril!

Ezra: Pft! Peril.

Maul: Don’t pft my peril! Someone’s trying to kill me! That's why I called my Apprentice!

Ezra: I’m not your apprentice, I’m your worst enemy! Get it through your head!

Maul: This kind of bickering is what makes us such an adorable couple!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maul: Mama, this is my apprentice, Ezra Bridger. And this is my personal assistant, Mangy Kanan.

Kanan: You can just call me Kanan, ma’am. Maul: Mangy Kanan used to be a homeless gentleman. I work with a charity that finds jobs for down-on-their-luck Jedi.

Mother Talzin: Oh, that’s sweet! He’s been so good to your people!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maul: I can’t help it. You’re like a son to me. A white, crispy son.

Ezra: How would that even work? Am I adopted or something?

Maul: No, your mother’s just really pale. Almost invisible. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maul (escaping): Ezra, I can’t hear you through the vacuum of space! I’ll just assume you’re finally admitting to be my apprentice!

Ezra: Dammit, Maul! I will bring you to justice one day!

Maul: No you’re MY best friend! I’m so proud of us for finally being able to say it!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quinlan: Ventress, I know we just met, and I don't wanna be too forward. . .

Kenobi: Quinlan.

Quinlan: Sometimes you just get a feeling about a person!

Kenobi: Quinlan.

Quinlan Vos: I've got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we-

Kenobi: Quinlan, look down!

Quinlan: Oh. . . shoot.

Ventress: They just gave me ten years in prison.

Kenobi: . . . She didn't say no!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ventress: Will you tell my sweet Mother Talzin the inspiring story about how Maul saved from being a mulch-butt hoe?

Ahsoka: . . . That is 100 percent accurate, Ma’am.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maul: Oh, my God, Lady Tano, are you saying what I think you're saying?!

Ahsoka: Yes. You have a copycat!

Maul: I didn't think I'd accomplished enough in my career for this!

Ahsoka: I know, it's big!

Maul: It just feels so good to be seen, you know?!

Ahsoka: Wait. The only way to catch a copycat is to team up with the original crime lord!

Maul: I'm back in the Order! Give me a lightsaber!

Quinlan Vos: Absolutely not.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hondo Ohnaka: Hey, who’s your boyfriend?

Ventress: Who said boyfriend? Quinlan services my needs and then shuts his pretty little mouth so I can get down to BUSINESS. Make ‘em bounce, daddy!

Quinlan: (sighs, does the pec-pop)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maul: Stop caressing my baby sister!

Quinlan Vos: How can I be caressing HER with MY pecs?

Maul: Look at those things! They have thumbs!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ventress: I am a grown woman, Maul! I. NEED. TO. SMUSH.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bo-Katan: I can’t believe Quinlan Vos is dating Maul’s sister. I remember when Kenobi made out with my sister, I was mad at him for ten years!

Kenobi: That was only five years ago.

Bo-Katan: And you’ve still got five left.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quinlan: Ventress has a ranch on Dathomir where she goes when she’s on the run. She’s there now, getting rid of the scorpions. Or adding more scorpions. I dunno, the reception was bad.

[askinkiskarma]

Hi love! I absolutely adore your new name and theme it’s sooo cute!! I was laying here listening to this song called Grave Digger by Matt Maeson. This song reminded me of Neteyam when I actually sat and listened. And I wanted to share my thoughts on the song with you. Because the vibe.. the angst.. it was giving.

I can't run to you, father

I need love

I can't talk to you, mother

I know it's got you caught up

Neteyam has to put up with all the restrictions and responsibilities of being the oldest but not only that the weight of his father being Toruk Makto. The boy had a lot of pressure and sometimes felt the weight of the world crushing him. But one thing was sure he refused to give up.

But tell me if I run away,

How long will I bleed?

So tell me if I run away

How long will I bleed?

Yet sometimes he couldn’t help but feel like the world was caving in around him and he wanted to leave, wanted to feel the joys of being free even just for a little while.

Colors blend

They're all black and white

Goddamn me, I can not bend

I'm all shriveled inside

He always did his best to do everything right even when things weren’t his fault, he pushed and pushed to always be his best to make his father proud, to make his clan proud. He was determined to be all he could even if he couldn’t bend and break like he was expected he still never gave up.

So tell me if I run away

How long will I bleed?

Tell me if I run away

How long will I bleed?

Even when he lay dying with his family surrounded him he still felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, as he stared back into his fathers eyes, the urge to speak weighed heavily on his dying heart. He still refused to give up, despite knowing he had given his all he was still determined to be the best he could be for his family. For his father. Even when he knew that he couldn’t go on he was determined to fight, refused the help, until his very last breath. The might warrior was determined to not give up.

Ain't no point in tryna picking me up when I'm down

Yeah, you can stick out your hand

And you can lean towards the ground

I'll be tryna suckle all the liquid out the dirt

Tryna catch a curve, digging my own grave

Ooh mama

I'll be tryna suckle all the liquid out the dirt

Tryna catch a curve, digging my own grave

Ooh mama

ARGHHHH WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME IM SO SAD!!!! 😩😩😩 this song fits him so well, my poor bb, he was the best brother and son and he deserved so much more and better!!! I am coming for ur ass james cameron ISTGGGG

[praple-art]

I am absolutely LIVING off of pirate Leo I swear😭 it fits his personality SO well I am absolutely loving him!! also, DRAXUM MIKEY DRAXUM MIKEY DRAXUM MIKEY!! i love how he can still be a happy little ball of energy and still have draxum as his caretaker:]] Big Mama Donnie always and will forever give me life it fits him SO well. Also, I love how the disaster twins parallel eachother alot whether it was intentional or not, like Donnie was raised by this elegant proper and slightly intimidating woman who Donnie grew up with which I'm sure altered a bit of his personality. And then...on the other hand we have Leo who grew up with freaking pirates. I'm positive when Donnie meets him hes gonna full on "I'm sorry- Your my twin??" Cause bro is a freaking pirate like??(unless they like aren't twins in the au, I need to read up on it more) But anyways, I just think that the dynamic between them is super super fun and interesting. Also, RAPH RAPH RAPH he's SO. COOL. in separated aus even when he's with Splinter. I can almost feel that little dudes anxiety like I cannot imagine man. Sorry for going on a rant I just really like this au :,]

AAA oh my god the excitement i felt when i saw this was nuts. thank you sososo much for takin the time to acknowledge my littl au, it means alot ^^

and honestly, pirate leo is like the thing im most proud of for coming up with, coz i just havent seen anyone else DO it, yknow? so im glad you and some other folks like the idea.

honestly when i was thinking of who to stick the turtles with i was just thinking, 'who would each of them be the most compatible with?', and looking at canon i think the choices are pretty clear,

leo with the pirates, because i wanted him to keep his connection with hueso.

mikey with draxum, because, well, just watch the show, draxxy has some favoritism goin on

donnie with big mama is more for a handfull of small reasons, like the way she compliments his tech and, he soaked up the attention like a sponge, aaaand theyr both purple

and raph honestly mostly stayed with splinter because the man needed to keep at least ONE of his sons, but that doesnt mean raph's story or personality isn't any less changed. And honestly... raph might actually be the turtle who ended up the MOST different from canon...because when i started thinking, alot of raph's anxiety in canon comes from rangling and protecting 3 unruly brothers, like i know he loves them and he wouldnt trade them for the world, but lets just say, his raph chasm in my au as alot more shallow...

aaand heres what donnie and leo's first thoughts upon meeting eachother would probably be like

im gonna try and hopefully make some more stuff to put out for this au. this is honestly the first time iv ever made and fleshed out an idea for an alternate universe like this so im not super sure how to expand on it, uhhh,, story-wise i guess?? but feedback and hearing thoughts deffo helps ^^; 💖💖😊

[mechformers]

For some reason I can imagine in ma miles that Spider mama have Spider strap on her chest when he was a baby to a kid when she needs to go out to get stuff, like food and healing plants, and even do the Simba thing when raising Spider up to meet Hawnu ( hope spell that right, since the banshee seem friendly)

Like " look at my son my friend, he is tinny, be very gentle with the child as he is baby" while raining Spider with a smile on their face

Or " looked at this my son, this fruit is good, this one is band, don't eat that one that one is for adults to make drinks with to get drunk " while pointing at each stuff at home when Spider was a toddler/child so he can learn

Just a thought I liked to share

Oh, the reader is stupidly proud of her small, drooling, toothless human child!! It's beyond ridiculous actually lol And she definitely had a hard time understanding what to give and what not to give him as he grew up to eat "normal" food. She sat through class after class on both what was poisonous to humans, what would give a runny bummy, and what would cause hives. First aid classes for both babies, toddlers, and children, as well as the added fear of "what if his exopack gets damaged/stops working/runs out of batteries". She had a very, very, very steep learning curve, but she took it in stride. the reader loves Spider above all else - like any mother should <3 Actually, the reader didn't have Hawnu (protect/shelter) when Spider was a toddler. We will get to learn how she got to create a bond with him when Miles asks about Hawnu later on. The reader is not a hunter or a warrior, and therefore never went through Iknimaya. The circumstances around how the reader created a bond with Hawnu is well known across the Omatikaya though, as it involves the children lol But she definitely had Spider spend a lot of time with Hawnu. They both did as he became another unexpected addition to their little weird family. They spent a lot of time flying together when Spider was younger, and although the trips got fewer as the teenage years set in, they still do them <3 I absolutely love that Simba moment though! I can jus picture it. Look at my majestic son, oh mighty ikran! Only for Hawnu's point of view to be a diapered pink blob with blue paint, drooling and toothless as he tries to fit the entirety of his small fist inside of his mouth lol Thank you so much for sending another ask! I am so enjoying these!!!! <3<3<3<3

[callsign-jinx]

Okaaay. Buckle up once again, loooong message ahead. I can't help it, you are the one who keeps making me have feelings and melting my heat! (And I love you for it.) So,

"“Fuck, Jake. You need to come back immediately.”" - protective dad Mav is also the best, it's so lovely to see every time

"“I’ll kill that son of a bitch if he tries to touch Liam.”" - I'm sorry, but I can't get past the amazingness that protective dad Jake is, holy moly, I love it and have the urge to comment on it every. single. time.

"Liam is smart, he must have sensed your fear, and he’s now scared, too", "“I want to stay with Mama and Dada.”", "Liam nods softly, sitting down in front of the TV and hugging his new plushie." - MY POOR LITTLE DARLING BABY!!! Holding Red's skirt with white knuckles 🥺 This precious little sunshine personified must be protected at all times and all costs! (and I am so glad it is what happened with him being looked after by the ⭐FAM⭐ instead of daycare, he must be kept happy and care free and safe, I-... sorry for the rant, I just love Liam so much)

"“I’m not going anywhere this time, Red.”", "“Promise?”", "“I promise you.”" - ahhhh, their love!!!! Goals. Just, goals. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Love, love, love it 💗💗💗 

"“Red, would you like to be a full-time instructor at Top Gun? You won’t be taking unnecessary risks, and you won’t be related to the Dagger Squad in any way, but that’ll make possible that yours and Jake’s relationship can be considered legal.”", "“I honestly don’t care about your surname, Jake. I just care about the pilot, and you’re probably the best pilot of your generation.”" - Iceman, my goodness, I could kiss you, honestly, I knew you were a great guy, but you are an actual angel. Love to see supportive superiors (take notes Cycunt) It literally made me tear up, it is so good 🥹

“Well, that’s not going to happen. Because you have me, and you have your family. We’re fighting with you. We're soldiers, Jake. We fight.”", "“I don’t know what I would do without you.”", “You won’t have to find out.”" - ahhhh, AGAIN!!! GOALS!!! Pure beauty and pure, unconditional, stunning LOVE!!! I can't find words that do it justice!!! 💗💗💗

"Turns out that Mav’s friend, the one who had been trying to prove all the crimes that Jake’s father has committed, has disappeared.", "You just hope he's okay, but a little voice inside your head tells you that the man is probably dead." - awww, poor guy. I know he wasn't mentioned much, but you still managed to make me have an emotional reaction to his disappearance. Incredible writing, I say!!!

"He’s being investigated" - yesss!!! That's what you get if you are being a cunt, Cycunt (omg, sorry for the swearing, but he just brings the worst out of me... after the stunt with the picture and all...) I guess he should be thanked for bringing Red back to Jake??? But the man must rethink his later actions.

I love the catch up with everyone. Poor Bob stressing about Doc, the lovely doting husband and dada-to-be he is. And Navy sailing proud and beautiful is just so great to hear, they are so cute, honestly. 💗

"“It might be Jake’s first pregnancy.”", "“How am I supposed to bring another baby into this world when their big brother has to be constantly guarded in case someone tries to take him away from his parents?”", "Nat hugs you tightly, caressing your hair. “You’re not alone. You have this big, crazy family that will help you every step of the way.”" - I honestly cannot wait to see how Jake is during the pregnancy, it is going to be the softest most wholesome thing ever, I know for sure. And Liam finding out he is going to be a big brother!!! I will melt from all the cuteness and sweetness. And I love, love, love, adore the support system that these girls (and the whole fam) have. This moment is so vulnerable and so touching and wholesome and amazing, just warms my heart 💗

"“His aiming skills aren’t legendary only on the air.”" - hahahaha, Amelia keeps being the Legend™ that she is and we love her for it! 💗

"You’re pregnant." - YESSSSS!!!!! BABY SERESIN #2 CONFIRMED AND ON THE WAY!!! YAY!!! Charlotte is going to pop champagne for 9 months straight!!!

Jake's dad should really just go to the first police station he finds and get them to arrest him. Confess all his crimes and plead for a life sentence. Like, I'm sorry, asshole, but how dare you not only keep tabs on your son, his family and everyone he loves but also critique the amount of food he is eating on top of all that?!?!?! I must say tho, love the angst and drama, it is so exciting still. Beautiful work my Lovely, absolutely amazing!!!! 💗

AND! Before I go - MICKEY AND MINNIE?!?!?!?!!!!!🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭 Keep steady my beating heart, that is the cutest ever!!! 💗

Anyways... Incredible and stunning work as always my wonderful, amazing and incredible Beauty, you are one hell of a writer!!! 💗

Lots of love and hugs and all good things to you still!!! 💗💗💗💗💗💗

(italics anon 💚)

My looooooove 💚💚💚💚💚

Let me comment on some things but, thank you for these messages you sent me, they make my day ten times better 💚

"“Fuck, Jake. You need to come back immediately.”" - protective dad Mav is also the best, it's so lovely to see every time

we'll talk about this in the future, okay? now i can't comment on that jsdjkdkjdsjk

"“I’ll kill that son of a bitch if he tries to touch Liam.”" - I'm sorry, but I can't get past the amazingness that protective dad Jake is, holy moly, I love it and have the urge to comment on it every. single. time.

Dad Jake is a whole kink, tbh. It's amazing.

“Well, that’s not going to happen. Because you have me, and you have your family. We’re fighting with you. We're soldiers, Jake. We fight.”", "“I don’t know what I would do without you.”", “You won’t have to find out.”" - ahhhh, AGAIN!!! GOALS!!! Pure beauty and pure, unconditional, stunning LOVE!!! I can't find words that do it justice!!! 💗💗💗

I love the catch up with everyone. Poor Bob stressing about Doc, the lovely doting husband and dada-to-be he is. And Navy sailing proud and beautiful is just so great to hear, they are so cute, honestly. 💗

We all wanted to know more about Navy and soon-to-be-dad Bob so i gave you all a little update hehehhe

AND! Before I go - MICKEY AND MINNIE?!?!?!?!!!!!🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭 Keep steady my beating heart, that is the cutest ever!!! 💗

MICKEY AND MINNIE ARE MY OTP ALREADY AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEE THEM YET AKSJDHFKJAFDHKA

[ddejavvu]

MEI OKAY I'm watching s6 of criminal minds (S6EP22) and I just watched Hotch be the soccer coach to Jack's team and oh my God I'm practically melting 😭🥹🥹

HE'S SO CUTE BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING THERE W HIM as his girlfriend that's cheering him and Jack on from the sidelines

Wearing a t-shirt that says "Coach's Girl"

Getting up super early to pack sandwiches and juice boxes for the kids then taking them out to pizza after because you just can't say no to their puppy eyes and pouts

Catching Jack as he runs up to you after each goal, going "Y/N! Y/N! Did ya see that? Did you see me? I did so good!!" and you just melt as he beams at you, giving him high fives and telling him how proud you are of him

Hotch coaching them to a win and then coming up to you and Jack in your arms with a smile that turns into a fake pout, "where's my prize??"

he lets out a chuckle and his cheeks redden when you tuck yourself into his chest, leaning up to kiss him and then Jack, "my favourite two boys"

It becomes a Sunday tradition to go get ice cream after pizza and Jack is absolutely obsessed with mint chocolate chip just like you are except hotch is absolutely disgusted

"it tastes like toothpaste!!" "you take that back, it's the best flavour there is!" "yeah daddy, you take that back"

Hotch secretly loves mint chocolate chip but he just likes to pretend he doesn't because then he gets to watch his favourite two people team up on him and they're so damn adorable

By the time you get home, hotch has to carry Jack up to his bed, the kid is so tuckered out

You and hotch have your own traditions of breaking out a bottle of wine and you're on the couch, TV on in the back, but you're really just wrapped up in each other

Quiet giggles and hushed conversations as you stare at each other, just so damn in love

I AM ABSOLUTELY DYING RN 😭 this became a whole thing oops I'm sorry but I just had to share

BABYYY THANK YOU SM FOR THIS I SAW IT JUST BEFORE I WENT TO GO GET DINNER AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT :(( ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!

the mamas of the boys on jack's team have definitely been pining after the Big Handsome Coach but you show up in your shirt?? and aaron spins you around and kisses you?? oh my god they are so jealous - you befriend them later but they alwaysss ask you questions about him

you bring them popsicles on super hot days too!! maybe some orange slices to go with their sandwiches :(( and aaron watches you feed a hoard of little boys who are all jumping at you and thanking you with toothy grins for their food and then immediately beg you to go get pizza which you agree to and he's like wait we have to pay for that!! and you're like baby :) it's okay :) they're cute :) and he buys four pizzas afterwards but it's worth it to see you happy :')))))) jack definitely brags about you too they're all eating their sandwiches and he's bragging through a mouthful like 'my mama makes the best sandwiches, i get them every day!'

SOMETIMES WHEN JACK COMPLETES A PARTICULARLY HARD MANOUVER OR PASS OR WHATEVER HE JUST DITCHES THE GAME TO RUN AT YOU 😭 HE'S LIKE MAMA DID YOU SEE???? DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID??? WASN'T I SO COOL??? AND HE'S SPRINTING OFF THE FIELD AND AARON IS LIKE :0 NO SON :0 NO COME BACK SON :0

ugh if you ever congratulate jack aaron is like 😁 guess who did that 😁 and you're like :/ the kid in my arms rn :/ and jack giggles and hugs you and aaron is like >:( no me >:( so you gotta give him kisses or else he gets all sulky and jack thanks him for being such a good coach :((

you and jack share a huge sundae (you let him think he's getting the most but you're actually swiping most of it) and you guys bully aaron the entire time for his little vanilla scoop you're like >:) loser !! boring loser flavor !! and jack just giggles with green ice cream around his mouth and tells aaron that he has to be more 'aventurous' and you don't bother to correct him because it's so cute to hear him mispronounce things :')

you only find out that he does like it because !! you catch him eating it once behind your back !! you come down to his home office to convince him to come to bed and >:( he's having a bowl of your mint choco ice cream >:( he looks up at you like o.o with the spoon still in his mouth and you are OUTRAGED you are like Aaron!! this whole time?? i trusted you!! and he has to buy you a new carton to make up for it and you threaten to tell jack that he's been lying the entire time </33

jack falls asleep in the carseat and you help aaron hoist him out and aaron throws him over his shoulder like a lil sack of potatoes and he slumps limply into the embrace and you and aaron giggle bc your sleepy boy is so so cute and floppy :')

and yes!! the perfect ending to the night, snuggled up with wine under super soft fluffy blankets :') you're telling him how amazing of a coach he is and he's blushing like :') stop :') and you just keep going and you're a little too tipsy to stop so he has to kiss you to get you to stop and you definitely fall asleep all snuggled up together and magically you wake up in bed the next morning with everything cleaned up for you bc your husband is the best husband <33

[asshlyyyy]

Fine Lady (Austin!Elvis x Reader)

I know I haven’t posted for the last week or two? But, I have been busy at work. Thank you so much @oh-kurva for requesting this. I hope you enjoy. This gave me the possibility to work on something shorter while I work on bigger and larger projects that I have in mind.

This can be read as a part 2 of “I’ll be Their Daddy” but can totally work as a stand along. You do not have to read the original. 

Reference

Masterlist

Pairing: Austin!Elvis x FemxReader

Warnings: Spelling and Grammatical Errors

Word Count: 1k

"Okay, mama, be careful now." Your daughter said as you got out of the car. She came to reach for your arm but you swatted her away.

“I am perfectly fine, your father can help me.” You said as Elvis got out of the car and came to your side.  “Plus, I’m not incapable of walking. I am perfectly fine.” Elvis chuckled at your response and shook his head.

The two of you were… well what they considered your elder years. Yet, you both were extremely healthy, and Elvis was still performing. Which you argued against sometimes, but he loved to perform and you couldn’t take that away from you. 

As you guys got into the venue and made it to your seats, which happened to be in vip because of well… Elvis of course. You ordered water and smiled. You leaned into Elvis’ side and smiled up at him. He was the love of your life, and you owe him everything in the world. While nothing can make up for him taking you and your pregnant self in… you tried your best.

The time came and your eldest grandson was walking up onto the stage. He introduced himself and gave a bit of a background before he started his show. Your grandson was a comedian and you absolutely loved his jokes. He often time attacked Elvis with his jokes, but they were always just too good not to forgive.

"Everything was going great." Your grandson started up. "We were eating dinner, and everything was fine."

"And then my grandma broke out a scrapbook. And we're going through the scrapbook picture by picture." He explained as he recalled the events of Sunday's dinner. A ritual you could say. Every Sunday your family would come to your house. Thankfully, your husband loved to spend money... and got you a table that will fit your family.

You had your first child at nineteen. Which was in 1956. That same year... your boyfriend broke up with you because you were pregnant. Then, Elvis took you in and helped you throughout your pregnancy. Especially after you gave birth to your daughter. You two eventually got together. You got married in your twenties, and eventually had another kid in 1960. Then yet another one in 1964. That was when you two stopped.

Your first daughter, gave birth to her son in 1976, when you were nearly forty. And now here you were in your late fifties. Sitting at your grandson's stand-up show. He was always the jokester. You couldn’t be more proud of your grandson… well… just your family in general. Ever since Elvis took you in and showed you what love was… It was the best thing ever. 

"She was like, look, this is a picture with my first car. This is a picture of me and my first job." Your grandson explained the events that have just taken place a couple of days ago. Every Sunday your family would come over to your house, and you were cook dinner. Your kids, their kids, everyone really. 

"And then we got a picture of her when she was in her mid-twenties." He started. You generally had no idea where he was going with any of this. 

"My grandma was looking fine. Superfine okay. Too fine to be my grandmother." Your family seemed to be all taken back, hell man… you were taken back. Fine was a weird word and honestly, you were still trying to get used to the new lingo used nowadays. 

"And with the sepia filter on it, the brown filter that's not supposed to make you attractive. The one that will turn a ten into a seven. Nahh, she was still a ten. Okay." He waved his hand. The crowd let out laughs and you couldn’t help but smile. All he wanted to do was make others smile and laugh, and he was doing that. 

"I know it sounds weird. I know it's weird. It's weird to say, okay, it's weird." He admitted. You smiled and leaned into Elvis. He looked down at you and smiled. He may not have his young boy looks anymore, but that didn’t stop the love you felt and had for him.

"But you understand it's ruining me. I have to live with this knowledge for the rest of my life. It's ruining me."

"Because now every time I try to talk to a girl, I'm like, yeah, you're cute, but... You ain't Nana." Now, you doubt that was the real reason for him not having someone. Times were changing, and you didn’t see people getting married a as really in life then when you were young. Times were changing and you were sure he would find someone, and you will be coming to his wedding before you knew it. 

"Honestly, I can’t even be mad. He’s right.” Elvis shrugged from beside you. A light laugh came out of your mouth as you shook your head. 

"Oh shush," You slapped Elvi's shoulder. Elvis whined in response and pressed his forehead against your head. Even for his age, he still acts like a whiny teenager. Better yet, he still acted like a toddler. 

"Hey though, I'll tell ya... my nana she's in her fifties right... she still looking fine. Now I'm sure once I step off this stage my mama gonna whoop my ass, so I better stop." That caused everyone to laugh. Your family felt mortified, besides yourself and Elvis. 

You felt flattered yourself, and Elvis just… well he was proud to call you his own. So, any attention you got on your beauty… he was proud. Because he knew that you were his and no one else can have you.

After the end of the show, everyone met up by their cars. As your grandson walked out you went straight to him and gave him a big old hug. You were so proud of him. Your daughter on the older hand felt so embarrassed. She was of course overreacting like always. That’s all she did nowadays. 

“I am so proud of you.” You whispered and kisses his cheek. He let out a light chuckle and shook his head.

“Thank you, nana. I hope I didn’t offend you so much.” He apologized. You just shook your head in response. 

“You didn’t,” you smiled and pulled away. “You could never offend me.”

Want to join my taglist? // Let me know If I spelt any wrong! I have updated my form for my taglist. You will be tagged under everything now in that selected fandom/person. Just makes my life easier.

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[dear-ao3]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon