#he's a he/they now. that's kinda hot but also BABEY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scalproie · 2 days ago

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OKAY LAST SEASON BABEY last time we left the bots were going in hiding and optimus took a fucking nuke to the face what will our silly heroes be up to now

So smokescreen is hot rod in anything but name (the wiki even agrees) (HE EVEN GETS A BOW AT THE END) but the more i think of it, the more im like. The phaseshift gimmick smoky got wouldnt have worked so well with hot "I have flames on my paintjob" rod. Then i was wondering is phaseshifting was smth smoky had back in g1 but apparently not and i didnt find anything else so. Shrug.

The smokimus prime bait-and-switch still makes me feel some sort of emotion to this day. I mean i get it and i dont think i wouldve liked the alternative but gnhgnn

Team prime being separated in my opinion couldve lasted longer to do interesting stuff buuuuuut im really fine with the brievety. Plus the humans reuniting scene was very cute

Knockout's back must be suffering being the ONLY non-decepticon high command member and therefore carrying the goon quota on his own. Speaking of.

SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE

I keep forgetting Ultra Magnus is in tfprime BUT I like him. I remembered being kinda annoyed with him back in the day but I now recognize that I was stupid, hes literally fine and I like him a lot :) hes a hammer main

Predaking is so fucking cool its unreal. Put him in monster hunter

Cant believe that compared to S1, the tables have turned and there is now more bots than cons. its legit just decepticon high command + knockout now

Con side is still better tho. literally any scene with two different cons interacting is amazing as per usual

Shockwave after predaking got got and starscream is now mocking him: Fine. I'll do it my damn self *jumps off the tower and bags two autobots*

OPTIMUS' NEW DESIGN IS SO BULKYYY WHYYY THE ONE HE HAD WAS LITERALLY PERFECT. I GET WE HAVE TOYS TO SELL BUT CMONNN

He is also heavy weapons guy now so nvm

Optimus really hit megatron with the 1️⃣+2️⃣-> ➡️⬇️↘️1️⃣->➡️➡️2️⃣

SO LONG GAY WARLORD

Shockwave just casually walking off while the fortress is about to collapse on him is such a move. Insanely cool

The community joke that tfprime is just one massive macguffin collect-a-thon is so fucking real lemme tell you. Now we need BONES

ALSO. KNOWING THAT IT DOESNT ACTUALLY AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. LEMME TELL YOU.

"We could have beast wars on our hands" ENOUGH

The scouts vs waves fight was cool tho. Also soundwave running is so really uncanny

We are turning the screamer patheticness to fucking 11 this season and im having a blast. Steve blum screaming in a high pitch for 3 hours

Conceptually, "spunky teenage girl joining the giant robots version of the black ops on equal terms thanks to a mystical indestructible technology" is fucking awesome and I still do like that the show went that way for miko. Also major miko W for that starscream burn

Theyre also retroactively making wheeljack more like wheeljack

"You know what they say about vehicon troopers?" / "Theyre easily distracted" I cant believe they made them by cloning a bot with adhd

FYM "no mom dont go its not safe!" YOUVE BEEN LIGHTYEARS AWAY ON ANOTHER PLANET. GET YOUR SON'S ASS JUNE

S3:E7 is a great episode bc it has some KO action and for once he actually succeed. I kid you not some episodes (this one in particular) I got stressed over if knockout would get shit done bc his failure ratio is so high that if i didnt know better i wouldve thought megatron would fire him at one point. cons' only medic or not. Thats what happens when the writers kill off every evil goons in the show save for one

Just why is knockout french all of a sudden

"So go on, Big M, tell me you love me more than starscream~... my liege? hello? ... too familiar?" I HATE HIMMM

"Never let a decepticon take you to another location" yeah the animators would have to make another desert

I take it back about starscream, hes an essential part of the decepticons bc by pissing megatron off so much he makes everyone else look good in comparaison

I remember when megatron was struggling against ONE (1) insecticon and now wheeljack just killed like three middair in a single strike

Ive literally just realized the insecticons' insect mode are legit just seltas from mh4 (or vice-versa i guess, tfprime came first)

S3:E8 is the best episode of the season (the show maybe even) and I believe the fact that its the ONLY episode that is 100% full decepticon is related. A travesty it is the only one imo

I know the reason behind that is that the cons were literally too strong and they needed to nerf them somehow but still.

Too many good and noteworthy things in this episode for me to say but i will have to say that even tho they wrapped up the cylas plotline "well" enough I still have issues with airachnid's. I mean who doesnt

Ok i lied megatron basically saying "starscream if you so much as looked at my evil drugs cookie jar again i will fucking kill you for real this time" is hilarious

God I love this episode

The fact that shockwave is the one who made the zombie containment protocole meant that megatron had to fucking call him for help and explain and i so badly wish we got to hear that conversation

Predaking robot mode is one of the prettiest in this show ngl

Meanwhile the bots are introducing ultra magnus to the main theme of fast and furious

THE CONS DOING A TEAM HUDDLE IN THE FUCKING CLOSET IS KILLING ME

"I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, shockwave."

Predaking vs wheeljack and ultra magnus is the best fight in the show and its not even close. hunting dreadking rathalos with your dual blades and a hammer buddy be like

Ok i take it back the whole plot about the bones is not completely pointless and it goes into the conclusion of the show well enough. but still.

SHOCKWAVE KILL‼️

"Master! Are you going to allow one lieutenant to harm another!? ... Master?" / "I'm thinking >:)" guys did you know i love megatron very much

"Exemplary teamwork" GUYS DID YOU KNOW I LOVE M

Ultra magnus really came into this show just to face the horrors huh

I'll say it again, soundwave really didnt actually do much in tfprime BUT on the other hand he really did nothing but win :)

One complain I will have about his one (1) line is that there actually wasnt enough effects on his voice to really capture that G1 feel

It took 3 seasons and we are 4 episodes away from the series finale outside of the movie but the cons FINALLY figured out they could just. follow fowler to the autobot base. And they needed shockwave to have this epiphany as hes the only one with a braincell on the cons side rn. Genuinely im starting to think they werent that invested in finding the base of their enemy until they absolutely needed to

"This is no place for a one-handed autobot" shockwave one of your hand is a cheese grater cannon

I know predaking is actually a combiner originally and aligned/tfprime wanted to have a big dragon but honestly? He would be a neat rival to grimlock, he kinda reminds me of him during his fight with optimus. And dinoBOT vs predaCON yknow? (Or at least. The aligned version of the predacons)

WHY DID THEY JUST BLOW UP THE ONE HANGAR??? WHY DIDNT THEY BLOW UP THE WHOLE BASE??? IN MY MEMORY I WAS SURE THEY QUICKLY RELOCATED WHAT DO YOU MEAN STARSCREAM JUST FUCKED UP AGAIN BC OF SOME PAINT??? WHAT??????

I love megatron when he is completely honest about being an untrustworthy asshole

Honestly if i were jin kazama i would be ecstatic about having job security once i turn 18 bc i hanged out with giant alien robots a lot. Also raf picking up after ratchet is cute

Ratchet said "megatron i will NEVER help you in your plans" and meg was like "ok then lemme give you a tour of the ship" and that was all it took for ratchet to help

Loved that scene with ratchet, shockwave and KO. Also love when cons are surprised when given basic decency

Optimus and starscream running into each other in the sky like that scene in malcom in the middle where the mom pass by the son driving a car

MEGATRON PULLING THE OVERLORD/PIPES SPECIAL ON RATCHET

Really loving how literally all of the autobots plans failed and the only reason they dont lose is bc the decepticons ONCE AGAIN caused their own downfall. And like a coinflip its either starscream or knockout. here its knockout

Predaking vs megatron is. Very good. To me.

"[out of breath] Thats the spirit... but I was a champion of the pits of Kaon not only due to my savage might... but also my CUNNING." 😳😳😳

We are starting the series finale strong

Genuinely genuinely genuinely what they did to soundwave is so fucked up to this day and I KNOW rid15 fixed that but still in the context of this show in a vaccum this horrifies me. He was the coolest and got such a "I have no mouth and I must scream" end. Which i know is fitting for him but GOD.

Smokescreen being an errant boy for this finale is a good representation of his treatment for this (short) season. Im sorry buddy youre still the mvp

I am SHOCKED by how little focus the last optimus vs megatron fight got

Megatron's last moments. Augh. Give him the oscar 😫

I forgot how much of a chill team player shockwave was like that in this show

Funny to hear the evil theme of the nemesis getting turned into smth heroic

Predaking is really pretty

Tfprime has a very efficient ending. The goodbyes were really well done and the score really makes you feel emotional

Not closing words from peepaw? Alright. I guess they knew they had the movie next

OK THAT WAS SEASON 3. It sure is a lot more rushed than previous seasons which is a shame bc the events follow each other nicely enough. Predaking also took a lot of the focus bc we had toys to sell. Oh well many such cases. ONLY PREDACON RISING NEXT AND IM FREE

#putting this one under a readmore bc those keep getting longer #dam watch prime

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tacticalhimbo · 10 months ago

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— OC INTERVIEW

name: vincent hale

nickname: v, vin, vinny

gender: genderqueer transmasc

star sign: gemini sun, gemini moon, capricorn rising (double gemini oh god)

personality type: entp (the debater). this man is charismatic. he's a quick thinker. but god does he have an argumentative streak. he is stubborn to a fault

height: … 5 feet. short king energy.

orientation: bisexual

nationality/ethnicity: white american

favorite fruit: oranges. vinny fucking loves oranges. he likes most citrus, really. but oranges just hit for him

favorite season: late winter/early spring. that period of time when there's still snowfall and a notable chill in the air, but things are a little less wet and miserable

favorite scent: i feel like vinny is a spice kinda guy. maybe some more smokey tones, the occasional woodsy tone, but a lot of it is like warm. thinking like. parfums de marly althaïr

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee. he drinks that shit dark too. one, because it's luxurious. two, because he cannot survive without some form of caffeine. he'd honestly love shit like death wish roast

average hours of sleep: it's either 2 or 12 babey! he already had a pretty chaotic schedule prior to the relic incident, but it was just consistent enough for him to survive. now, though? he's either kept awake because of all the shit going on, or he's so exhausted by the neurological and physical stress that he's gone to the world for the day

dogs or cats: cats. dogs uh, well, they aren't exactly around anymore. most animals aren't due to all the illnesses that spread. and he did adopt nibbles, so-

dream trip: even though he's already been, he would love to revisit japan's konpeki plaza. it's between that, or making a visit to misty out in the polish wilderness and truly being able to step away from the big city enivronment for a month or two

number of blankets: one, but it's large and it's got a nice weight to it. not too thick to where he gets hot, but not super thin either. it's also a sherpa blanket. he fucking loves sherpa-

random fact: i've told you all how vincent has considered having a risky rendezvous with jenkins. this i know. but consider also: vincent buttering up and sleeping with meredith is canon. he freaky freaky like that (positive). and yes, the "weapon" you get after… she did use it on him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

tagged by the lovely @perpetuagf to fill out this meme! switching out of my fixation for a second solely to talk about one of my stinkiest blorbos <3

idk who to tag so if you wanna do this please do!! <3

#txt #my ocs #tag games #cw suggestive

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aquateenpatrolsomethingshowshow · 1 year ago

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ok so i dont feel like doing a full on review of the new episode so im just gonna make bullet points of the high lights and things that stuck out to me lmao

((contents spoilers below))

• still love that intro its so fucking awesome

• still loving the upgraded animation its so fluent and beautiful but still maintains that classic “aqua teen” look

• ok but shake is kinda hot in that outfit ngl

• shake looks like literally every millennial in my town and especially the ones that go to the coffee shops in my area lol

• MEATWAD IN THE FUCKING HIGH CHAIR IM CRYING

• “its spelled with a g cuz disney owns it” 💀💀

• “hoverboard” and its the fucking roomba 💀

• this is literally clone high istg with the self aware roombas istg /j

• all the robots had little hands that kinda looked like shakes thats so cute

• his whole rant about drinking the cream had me dead

• “its an easy fix tanner” BFNFCFNGFVX bro has beef with tanner lmao

• “master shaken not stirred” ok but that cream work was fucking bad ass

• bro literally had robots write his movie for him thats literally what it felt like when i would be paired with ppl for school projects and i had to do all the work for them but they still take credit for it 😭💀🙄

• DAMN BRO chill out with the coffee

• “script title” thats so shake

• bro literally just called his characters “boy 1” and “boy 2” 😭😭

• “i dont drink coffee its makes me uhh..” IT MAKES YOU WHAT FRYLOCK?!?! • oh hi theres more robots

• MEATWAD HANGING OUT WITH THE ROBOTS THATS SO CUTE TWO OF MY FAV THINGS TOGETHER AND THE SIPPING AND SWIRLING THE COFFEE AROUND MOTIONS WERE SO CUTE TF

• “a relationship of a gummy bear and candy cane” 🥺🥺🥺🥺

• THE MICHAEL CAINE ROBOT IS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM HIS LITTLE GLASSES AND ACCENT I CANT

• “the movie” at carls 🙄🙄🙄

• MEATWAD COVERING HIS EYES CUZ HES NOT ALLOWED TO SEE THAT STUFF 🥺🥺🥺 ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE ME GET EMOTIONAL OVER HIM?!?! /nm ((love the nod/continuity of meatwad not being able to see that type of stuff tho))

• MOVIE TIME

• WHY DOES THE MOVIE LOOK LIKE THOSE OLD QUIZNOS COMMERCIALS HELP YALL KNOW WHICH ONES I MEAN 💀💀💀

• LOOK AT MEATWAD HES SHIELDING HIS EYES AGAIN HES SO PRECIOUS I CANT

• “easy with the hands love” 💀💀💀 I LOVE THAT HE CALLS EVERYONE LOVE CUZ HES BRI’ISH

• WHERE DID FRYLOCK GET THE MONEY TO GET A LITERAL IPHONE FUCKING 15?! DAMN BRO

• NO WAY YALL THEY GOT A ROBOT OF THE GUY FROM THE WEAPON OF CHOICE MUSIC VIDEO 😱😱😱 ((/t ik its christopher walken lol))

• HOLY SHIT IS THAT MR FUCKING BUTLERTRON I CANT BELIEVE THEY PUT MR B FROM THE HIT SERIES CLONE HIGH IN ATHF 😱😱😱 /j

• “and michael richards” THE MICHAEL RICHARDS??? COSMO KRAMER MICHAEL RICHARDS?!?!

• “now i can make toast in another city” said no one ever AND BOI WHERE YOU GOING ANYWAY YOURE POOR

• HOW DARE YOU DENY THE BABEY BOY TOAST

• bro literally just killed all the robots 0s and 1s are like robot poison lol

• classic athf to just blow up the house lmao

• DAMN THAT LEAF TRANSITION WAS SO GOOD AND PRETTY

• “sticks and hicks” lmao

• it looks so peaceful up there kinda reminds me of that one og emma chamberlain video where her and her dad go to her grandparents house in the literal woods lmao

• “read some books, play some board games, make some s’mores” that sounds so cozy and im just picturing them all doing that and its so cute

• “no wifi? im going back to the robots” thats an honest to god mood

• IS THIS THE FUCKING TRANSFORMERS?! /j

AND SCENE

ngl the most recent episode wasnt the best out of the 3 so far tbh but it wasnt horrible probably give it like a 6 or 7 out of 10 i also like how they do the credits over the episode it gives them more of the episode to do but also ends in a way thats still very “aqua teen” if that makes sense

also wish they did more with them out in the country and like maybe doing something at a regular cabin instead of the robot in disguise ((which ik was the joke/point of how it ended)) but still that wouldve been really wholesome

#athf #aqua teen #aqua teen hunger force #master shake #meatwad #frylock #carl brutananadilewski #athf spoilers #spoilers #season 12

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avisperocustom · 1 year ago

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Let's talk about how I see manifestation, after a year of being in the game (subject to change as I continue my journey in this thing)

babe if you're posting "if he wanted to he would" kinda content it's a symptom of you still being on them shallow waters of manifestation. We still in "high vibration" land honey we still in "waaa he treats me like an option" state baby

See babe, you're a piece of consciousness in the collective unconscious. You're in one dimension of many, the one where I'm talking to you right now from, which is the one that happens to have my bra that's nude colored instead of full of permanent black patches of dye. It's also where I didn't get into an accident, and I can walk just fine with no limp. It's also the one where I'm slightly shorter than I used to be, but taller than the dimension I hopped to for a while.

You, honey, are part of the huge web of dimensions and perspectives. You were born as a part of god, therefore you're able to create and manifest things. You're also born with the ability of travel through dimensions. When you manifest, you start moving through dimensions, one looking so similar to the other you don't truly notice, but you keep doing it over and over until when you look back you realize just how much you've actually moved from the first time you noticed. You're always moving, from when you wake up till you die. (And since I believe in reincarnation, I believe you don't stop moving at all cause you get recycled back again into whatever the hell your soul needs to go through now)

So, back to Tyler. What is he? You, as a part of God and a traveler, have met Tyler at some point in your travels. Tyler is a shadow of yourself, and at the same time another traveler.

"wait what???" You may be asking yourself. shh, im getting there

What you're seeing from Tyler, is not his traveler self. You won't ever meet that part of him. Hell, you won't even realize your OWN power on its full capacity most of the time, sweetheart. You've met one shadow he's left behind in a dimension, an imprint, a thing I jokingly call a puppet in some posts here. From the moment you met that imprint, you formed an assumption, based on said shadow. From then on, the shadow reflects what you assume about him, and about yourself, as it interacts with you.

Remember when I said you're part of a huge web of dimensions and perspectives?

Well. If you don't like the imprint you met in one dimension, there are endless others to choose from. They're not any less real than your own very hot and amazing body, they're just lacking the ability of creation, as wherever YOU, CREATOR, are, there are no other creators, just yourself. You're seeing a time lagged version of everyone around you. (And there's actual scientific proof for that last bit I just said!)

If you can fathom the idea of Tyler being nice to you, that means there's an imprint of yourself that has made contact with another imprint of Tyler, where you two are in a loving relationship. You, CREATOR, can access every single imprint you've left behind. Hell, you can access that one for a second and then access the one next to it the other.

If you can imagine it, without relying on fictional material or replaying step by step something else, you've experienced it babey!

"But I'm making it up!" Darling, the spirit is amazingly powerful. More powerful than ANYTHING. However, it's also incredibly lazy, and most of the times when imagining stuff it just puts together shit it's seen before. If you can even muster up the idea of Tyler being nice to you, your lazy ass brain has just borrowed the memory of another imprint of yourself.

It's just a matter of borrowing the memory enough times that your spirit will just roll its eyes and move to the dimension you keep insisting on accessing. To it, everything is neutral, so it doesn't really care. Your ego, the part that wakes up and develops on each iteration of your body, is the one demanding shit. Your subconscious just goes "yeah sure, whatever"

Get it?

#law of assumption #loass #sp manifestation

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t4c0c4tr4dst3r · 1 year ago

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hi this is me gushing about slider it's a long one ❤🛹

the amount of slider brainrot I'm having right now y'all...just look at him!!! his smile here is literally the cutest thing ever!!! i wish we got more episodes centered around him tho...and also wish we got more episodes centering him and his dad outside of measure for measure cuz id luv to see more of their dynamic :] ik he was voiced by tony hawk but I don't it'd be too hard to replicate?? idk :V

ya see? he's just so precious and his voice is rlly pretty too o///o plus he still looks cute in the new flash animation too and I luv that :3 (considering i generally dislike it) it's always so fun sticking around to watch him fix or build things...or....

WATCHING HIM SKATE!!!!! *dies from nosebleed >__<*

the boards he has look so cool ;w;

ooh and then there's his hoodie!! :0 his soft red hoodie...so comfy...also speaking of soft, his hair is also weirdly soft? like...it's made of like, metal, but it's still kinda soft...and so fun to run my hands through!! i don't get how though...

and, not only is his voice incredibly pretty, it's really soothing too...so calming, ooh and some of the stuff he can do cause he's a cyborg is so awesome too... like how he can just warm himself up like a heater when it's cold, so we just snuggle together indoors, and sometimes he just chooses to gently shock me with his fingers...not often but still xD

speaking of the flash animation, LOOK AT HIM DRAWN IN IT!!! HES BABEY!!! it feels like his voice got deeper later on in season 6 and beyond but idk ^__^ (still hot tho...) and then when we met in radopolis... when the cybersquad went against hacker (totally rad), motherboard called me in to replace inez who had a last minute injury :[ he was so kind when i fell through the portal i was kinda speechless because...wow...how could someone like him not leave you speechless?? he's so beautiful! (don't tell him i told you but did you know he's pretty clingy? ofc i see why he is, tho) and his hugs are the best!

*dreamy sigh* sliderrrrr ❤❤❤❤ he's the coolest cyborg in all of cyberspace!!!!! 💖💖💖

#🍭 random posting 🍭#f/o: skaters mechanical heart! [❤🛹]

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 2 years ago

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AAHHHHH the proposal :)) glad we don't have to wait lol xD

Hmm yeah I doubt it's gonna be perfect xDD

Or simple lol

Hmm idk y'all I don't think so

Besides just not being them it sounds like asking for trouble xD

LOL YEAH exactly, you're just pitching potential calls SLFLJDKGS XDD

UH OH o.o

Oh dang 😬😬😬 that does not look good

A FIRE??!?!!

The "a" has less emphasis it's just the start of the sentence lol

Anyway OHH nooo

And it's hot too?? Yeesh 😭😬

Like from the fire I mean xdd

UHH OHHH

O.O

None of this is good xd

For that call I mean lol the proposal is AAHHHHH :DD!!

That's the last of my last thoughts! Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I loved this episode!! I thought it was great :D. The calls were great :D. And with the taxes one relating to one of the plots and the guy who was a flight risk turning into one, they fit in really well :). Also Chimney and Maddie were so hilarious this episode xD. And of course AAHHH relating to them but we'll talk about that in a minute. Oh, also, BUDDIEEEE!! Come on Buck she seems nice but you have Eddieee xd. Anyway lol, yeah, it was a great episode :D 🥰.

Now it's time for the individual parts!

Except, again, quick note xd: this review is being written the day before (actually day of, just past midnight, because I accidentally took a nap till 11:50 lol) the next next episode. As in, it's May 7th (/8th) XDD. Tomorrow morning I'll catch up by watching episode 16, and liveblog it, and then do the review sometime during the day. But more pertinent to this review is the two weeks since the episode thing. I do have some time to write this, but I don't necessarily remember much about this episode lol, so it'll probably be pretty short xd. I may add it to the (not actual yet but it should be) list of reviews I want to add more on to lol. Also, I'm writing everything now after the first two promo liveblog lines xd. After "perfect xDD" lol. Anyway, moving on xD 🥰.

Ravi! I think he gets one of these now :D. He was great this episode :), even though we didn't see him much. He was great at his job <33. I'm excited to see him more in the future!! I love him 🥰.

Hen! We didn't see her much this episode but she was great :D. She was great at her job :)). I've seen some stuff saying she's unfair with some stuff next time, based on other promos or summaries or something, but I really hope it's not too bad xd. Anyway! I love her :)) 🥰🥰❤️.

Bobby! He was great this episode :). We didn't get too much of him, but still :). It was lovely as always to see him supporting Athena 🥰. They're my babeys your honor :'D. I love them so much <33. Anyway, he was great at his job this week :). I love him ❤️🥰🥰.

Buck and Eddie! AAAAHHHHHHHH!! Y ' A L L!! GET IT TOGETHER!!! XDD. Okay let's go back to the begining lol (aka the larger encompassing, more average review lol). They were both great this episode :)). And they were both great at their jobs 🥰. But BUCK!! Come on boy, she seems nice and all, but you have Eddie RIGHT. THERE!! Buck like "ohh nobody sees me" LOOK AT WHO'S STANDING NEXT TO YOU!! BESIDES THE FACT THST HE'S EVEN STARING AT YOU R I G H T N O W!! And just besides my fan, Buddie brain, it really doesn't make much sense. I mean, to say that no one's seen him. I do really just want Buck (and Eddie) to be happy, but come on guys xd. Also, she's like, kinda obsessed with his death xD. I kinda get it since it's cool but, come on girl chill xd. It's not like he's the only person who's ever temporarily died - like I said in my liveblog, you can go over to Texas and grab like 5 pretty dang easily xD. Anyway, I am interested in seeing where this is going lol :). I just hope it eventually leads to Buddie XD. Although honestly I don't know what I'd do lol. Probably die XD. Anyway! They were both great this episode, and had some great scenes together :). I love them 🥰🥰.

Athena! She was great this episode :DD. She slayed honestly 🥰. I felt so bad for her though :((. Having to watch the guy die, even if he was a jerk, and feeling like it was her fault D':. She doesn't deserve that <33. And of course the bits of Bathena we got were wonderful :')). Even though the guy ended up dying in the end (though the plot itself was kind of HILARIOUS xD), I'm glad they got everything worked/sorted out :). Even through all the crazy, they figured it out - Athena did, really. She was great at her job this week :). I'm so proud of her <3. Again though, it sucks that he had to die :((. It worked out mostly the best it could, but it's still a bit of a shame. Especially after he put all that effort in xD. Anyway, I loved the plotline, it was great and interesting :)). And again, Athena slayed :D. I love her 🥰🥰❤️❤️.

Chimney and Maddie! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :DDDDD!!!! THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED Y'ALLLLL :DD!! I mean, hopefully lol xD. But seriously, I think till happen soon :)). Maaaybe not next episode, as I've seen some people suggest, but soon :D. I mean, I just don't know if the proposal will actually end up happening next week or if it will be about to happen at the end of happen next week or what lol. But anyway! Back to this episode :). They were HILARIOUS XDD!! Their tax storyline was just so funny lol, I was dying xD. All the mistakes they filed (and come on guys I know your busy but filing with a computer xdd?), especially the head of house one. And we love healthy communication 🥰🥰 but is the IRS the palace to have it :)? XDDD That makes it sound sexual but I mean the "we'll just alternate years!" "yeah cool!" "aww I'm glad we're being so chill about this :))" XDD. Lovely lol, these idiots <333. I love em though xDD. Also I love how, besides just the theme, their storyline connected to the first call by hiring that guy :D. Good for him too, since half of his office burnt down lol. Also AAHHH their moments with Jee 🥰🥰. Y'all they're literally so adorable I can't 😭😭❤️🥰. They're such a sweet little family :')). AAAHHHHH JEE BETTER BE THE FLOWER GIRL!! IF NOT IN THE WEDDING IN SOME OTHER WAY!!! Anyway lol, yeah! I'm a bit nervous for next time, but I'm super excited :DD. Clearly so is Chim xD. Love how the guy was just like "get married", power move xD. But then also after that how Maddie was like "wellll I don't wanna push him to talk about it" mean while Chimney: *buying rings*. XDDD Slay Chim, honestly lol. But yeah :)). I'm super excited 🥰. And they great this episode :). They were both great at their jobs :D 🥰. I love them both so much 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️ :DD.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! I thought it was great. The calls were fun, and they fit into the episode well. And while I love me some drama, there wasn't too much sad stuff. Unless you count poor Eddie getting his man stolen over there xD. Anyway lol, I really hope everything works out for the proposal :)). AAHHHH I'm so excited :DD. I'm so happy for Madney 🥰🥰. Like I said, I just hope everything works out well lol. Anyway, everybody was great this episode :). And once again I have to mention how hard Athena slayed :D. Good for her 🥰 :).

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was great. It fit together really well. I'm excited for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 15: Death and Taxes

It was great! I'm a bit nervous for the next episode, but I'm definitely excited as well. I'll be back here next week with my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 16: Lost & Found

See you next week!

#9-1-1 #911 #911 on fox #911onfox #gayfirefighershow #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #not anymore xDD (on fox lol)#(though I should've had this out before we found out if I had watched 16 when it aired sooo shh /hj XDD)#anyway yeah great episode fun calls loved it 10/10 :D #and just AAAHHHHHH I'm so excited for the next one :DDD :))#madneyyy 🥰🥰#I love them so much :DD 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️#but yeah :D wonderful episode :)#I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!

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my-lunaberg · 2 years ago

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OKAYYYYYYYY okay, Im about to watch Tommys The Last Stream vod after I go for another quick walk, after that its just Tubbos stream which is probably just the same thing but from a different pov anyway, then its just the Syndicate End vod and then its just a two minute video of Ranboos end and then Im finally free. I really wish I could do this properly on my blog instead of having to do this in my notes app but I simply cannot wait another day. Im so hopped up on adrenaline rn i dont think I can sleep tonight, especially if I dont finally finish this. Also I have therapy tomorrow when Im writing this and I need to calm tf down before I show up at the therapists office all shaky n shit because of some minecraft roleplay. Its almost 6 pm rn and I shall be free of this nightmare before the clock strikes midnight. Amen.

Tubbitch boi

I dont even have anything to say man

This is so upsetting dude

I made it through these first 15 minutes with basically no pausing and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that bc I just know the second that joker starts talking to Dream I'll be pausing every 5 seconds

Why the fuck does the prison look like it was under water for like a decade and now theres just barnacles n shit growing on everythinh

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABEY RIGHT ROUND

DREAM

Alright I took two minutes to mentally prepare myself now Im ready for this

Wait why the fuck was he just hangin out in the main cell if he wasnt even expecting Tommy. weirdo behaviour

PUNZ IS THERE AS WELL??? WERE THEY HAVING A DATE IN THE TORTURE BOX

"IM READY TO FUCKING KILL THE BOTH OF YOU"

*long uncomfortable pause*

"Uhm... okay"

It looks like Tommy is doing a good job stalling them so far so Im very curious how it goes from this to the stuff Ive read spoilers about

Ouhhhhhh I wonder how hes gonna react to that dig at Spirittttttt.........

Okay, no like verbal ouward reaction but that is what got him to start attacking Tommy

I dont think Punz will care that Tommy tried to kill himself bc of Dream, I think hed find that kinda hot

"The world doesnt fucking revolve around you"??? Bro Punz Boomer arc??? "Those darn zoomers wanting compassion and kindness after almost killing themselves

"Youre insane to think everything revolves around you" hello?? says the guy who fancies himself a god and also thinks everyone but him and his boytoy deserve to die because theyre "simple-minded"

OH NO i completely forgot, the nuke is not gonna hit them. this is allpretty much pointless

DAMN YOU JACK MANIFOLD

Okay listen, Im a huge c!Dream sympathetizer and I know this is gonna end with him being presented in a sympathetic and pitiable light and Im gonna fall for it no matter what because of course I am but like, he has been so comically awful throughout this entire finale I am not expecting this to end in an actually satisfying way at all

Oh that sly dog got him monologuing

Girl help I dont remember pre-rp dsmp well enough to tell if Dream is embellishing shit and victimizing himself or not

OKAY dream smp from Dreams pov lets gooooooo

??? what.

Bro Dream is not in his right mind hes so far away from his right mind he might as well be chillin in lmoonberg that guy is so mentally ill (source: I have like atleast 90% of his mentall illnesses for sure)

what do you MEAN "know more"???

Maybe Im just a simple minded nihilist but why does that matter man. Why die so you can "know more" when you can live and have like, a party with your buddies

Honestly, I feel like Dreams motivations are so stupid at this point, like literally just make him someone who worships XD and is favoured by him or whatever and then also have him have this morbid curiosity about the stuff beyond the server and have him try and become god while appeasing his actual god in the hopes that he'll reveal his otherworldly knowledge to him or whatever idk man

Hows Dream gonna grow old with the people he loves when he doesnt have fucking friends HAH got im

No offense but why has most of this finale been Tommy philosophically waxing about how you should accept death even though all thats waiting for you on the other side is eternal torment with Dream responding by being like "but why though?? :(" when that has like, literally nothing to do with any of the Dream SMPs themes? Like, okay, theres been a ton of storylines obviously but the two main ones are definitely Tommy vs Dream (its essentially the throughline to all this bullshit) and Wilbur, Lmanberg and every single attempt at a country after that. Because of this I would say that the dsmps themes are Cycles of Violence and Legacy and when they intersect you occasionally get glimmers of this idea of History Repeating Itself.

The Legacy theme is insanely well executed, no notes, Im in love

The Cycles of Violence theme.... less so. I'll probably make a more detailed post about this in the future since I dont wanna waste too much time with this liveblog. But I personally think that if they wanted to pull this theme off while also making Dream sympathetic, he absolutely needed to be affected by the violence he inadvertently caused and the audience needs to actually see it in atleast one (1) scene that would be impossible to twist into something unsympathetic unless you were looking at it in bad faith. Dream being thrown in jail and subsequently physically tortured wouldve been a great opportunity for this kind of stuff like, I remember lurking in the fandom around this time, this was the point where plenty of people were starting to sympathize simply because of how inhumane the prison was. Like, if they werent gonna show him break a little in front of others for their perspectives, the least they couldve done was make like, a few short videos of Dream being alone, doing whatever, you wouldnt even need dialogue and then pepper those throughout the post-prison arcs. You could have one like two or three minute video right after Tommys visit where he maybe tries writing those stupid essays out of boredom before burning them and then some potatoes plop into the pool and you really get a sense for the emptyness and isolation of it. Another good one would be one showing how Quackity tortures him, or maybe one taking place right after one of the torture seassions with him starving and shaking and maybe trying to write a log or something but failing because everything hurts. Him being in the prison after hes escaped and made it his base again, watching it slowly decay and fall apart with him in it. They really dont have to be long, again, two or three minute videos wouldve done a lot of good here imo. And then you could also sprinkle in some monologues because as much as I like to make fun of the snake monologue in my head, it did give some much needed insight into Dreams perspective on all of this while making him a bit more sympathetic.

Honestly, Dream is making some pretty reasonable points here (if you completely disregard all the context of the entire dsmp but still) but like dude, you cannot go around calling your teenage nemesis a pest that such obvious villain behaviour dude

Im not gonna lie, i thought the very last final scene between Dream and Tommy would take place in a more, idk, intimate? place. Thats not the right word but whatever I cant think of anything else that fits. But like, they absolutely do not have a reason to leave so I guess this is just gonna continue with Tommy and Dream talking in this fucked up room of this fucked up prison while Punz is also right there

Okay, I just got to the bit where Tommy says 'Im sorry' to Dream and I know a lot of people were upset by that bc they took it as him apologizing to his abusers for being 'abuse-worthy' if you wanna phrase it like that and thats not what I got from that at all. Like, its technically part of a very earnest emotional statement so his tone was kinda soft and apologetic but it really came across as an 'Im sorry you feel that way' kind of apology to me

BRUH HE JUST KILLED HIM??? WHAT

What the fuck is happening now

Is this hell.

NO ITS THE EARLY DREAM TEAM STREAMS THIS TRULY IS HELL

Oh my god please tell me this wont go on for much longer I already watched like 30 hours of these boring ass guys dicking around back in late 2020 i cannot take a second more

Bro why did they pick the part of the stream thats just Dream trying to figure out his fucking minecraft settings for this this isnt doing anything

Please bring me back I dont wanna watch this boring shit

What is ahppening

Okay they revived him, are they gonna explain why his afterlife hell is just him watching the most boring minecraft streams on planet earth

"It doesnt matter if I get horrifically traumatized because I'll just live forever :)"

Okay I think Im starting to understand Dreams motivations here a bit more and they make more sense but its like, if you care so much about eliminating suffering why did you go out of your way to torment Tommy like that in exile. Like, i know its because you did want him to be your friend at some point and maybe you still do but you didnt like how he would never listen to you so you figured itd be better to just break him down mentally but like, I dont think that would be necessary for the long term goal of eliminating all death and suffering at all so, what

Dude, he was not happy he was adjusting his minecraft settings

What if he just started sobbed. Hes all smug like "well, im happy now :)" and then the dam jist breaks. wouldnt that be grand

Hes fucking psychoanalyzing the green bitch this rules

Im sorry man I was not envisioning this emotional final scene to be accompanied by Punz occasionally saying some bullshit in the background

"George and Sapnap are still here" uh no, George literally isnt and last time we saw Sapnap he was making a deal with God to sacrifice his own life and afterlife to ensure that Dream would die and stay dead forever

Oughhhhhhh this is great I can practically smell the insecurity coming off of him rn

Oh god why is Tommy being like "you just wanted things to be simple [like they were in the past]" giving me a more complete understanding of myself as well this sucks I dont wanna be a c!Dream kinnie anymore >:(

I dont think Tommy is wrong about what hes saying abt Dream at all here and I think this is a smart angle to focus on for making Dream seem more sympathetic but right now I definitely feel like its missing the crucial element of "yes, Dream just wants friends, friends who will do what he wants with minimal resistance because hes a control freak" yknow? Like, his need for absolute control all the time is one of his most prominent traits and him wanting to gain some understanding and control of death and other things beyond his comprehension actually lines up quite nicely with that, its just kinda getting muddled with Dreams statements about wanting to make everything better. Granted, he probably wouldnt want to admit that his version of "making everything better" is just making everyone listen to him bc hes god basically but still, I think his control freakiness needs to get addressed more explicitly and maybe it will be, weve still hot a few minutes but ehhhhh. I doubt it

Honestly, ive grown to like Punz quite a bit eventhough he really hasnt done much but like, why the fuck is he here

I realize that the dialogue in dsmp is always overwhelmingly improv but its just so odd and kinda bad in this conversation. I think its because out of context, the way both Dream and Tommy are phrasing things makes it seem like they were on more equal footing and both suffered equally during their conflict when thats just not the case and Im not a fan

I think Ill tentatively take back all the stuff I said about how Dream shouldve been a worshipper of XD but i still think its a neat concept so I'll probably do something with that later

Oh god why did they do that crown, Dreams skin already looks bad and silly enough. Oh well I take solace in knowing that all the fanart of this scene probably slaps

OH I FORGOR ABOUT THE NUKES

Punz is still there is he gonna say anything about the nuke thats about to hit

Lookat these guys, never heard a nuke about to hit before

Ohhhhhhh I thought that previous 'sorry' was the one Ive seen people upset about, but Im pretty sure its actually this one

Honestly, I still dont see why you would be upset about it outside of the fact that it is an abuse victim apologizing to his abuser but its like, idk man. I dont think a piece of media featuring a scene where that happens within a very specific context is doing abuse apologism, although I guess a lot of people would argue that the fact that Tommy is even reaching out to Dream after everything he did is abuse apologism and. Im not even gonna try to argue with them. I'll just say that I disagree and try to explain my perspective in some amount of detail, this will get pretty personal though, so watch out:

I was recently semi-diagnosed with a personality disorder and i probably have a bunch of other bullshit going on as well and not to armchair diagnose a fictional character but c!Dream definitely has that personality disorder and whatever other shit thats hiding inside my weird brain. His irrational, defensive thought processes, his contradictionary wants, his persistent need for control, his detached nature, his manipulation, the way he uses actual emotional pain as a tool for manipulation while keeping that pain at an arms length, even his weird monotone way of speaking, I relate to all of it. I have seen and related to a lot of mentally ill and neurodivergent and neurodivergent-coded characters and I have never felt as seen as now. He embodies my worst qualities turned up a few notches to make them even worse and then he has a weird god complex on top of all of that and yet, he still ends up being given sympathy, someone tries to understand him and offers him help. And idk, that just means a lot to me so I look at this whole thing a bit differently.

Also, while I get why some people are upset and I get peoples desire to critize this from a Doylist perspective because real people came up with this story in real life and that still has implications, even when the line between fiction and reality is thick enough to be considered a wall, from a Watsonian in-universe perspective its like, Dream is not a bad person for accepting help (or trying to accept help) when its being freely offered to him

Okay wait but if the nuke still hit the prison and blew everything to shit what the hell did Jack do when he rewired the redstone at the launch thingy. Is the prison that close to the main smp I dont remember

Oh man this is gonna take a hot second huh

Okay we're back in Minecraft, Tommys punching a tree

I hate the fact that Tommy doesnt atleast punch the entire tree down before making a crafting table

OKAY IT IS DONE

I was gonna finish the whole series today but its almost 11pm and I a sleepy gal so i'll watch Tubbos pov tomorrow and the Syndicate vod and all that and also I'll probably give my thoughts on the ending in more detail after that. Right now I dont think I cant bare to write any more man, I just wrote like three or four decently detailed (for me) analyses about fucking bullshit basically in a row, my head literally hurts

So yeah, goodnight I'll be hopefully posting all of these posts tomorrow and I'll hopefully be peoperly liveblogging everything again

#livebloggin dsmp #c!dream #c!tommy

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seoafin · 1 year ago

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AHHHHHHHHH SERA UR COMMENTS!!!!!

ripmc is getting that phd in history babey i feel like her niche would probably be the heian period. that's where most of her historical document stuff come into play! also she researches curses you could say it's a hobby turned side job. other than that she's kinda unrecognizable. if people know her it's as sashisu's classmate. no name. no face. nobody important.

the bride is an oc that is coming back in a later chapter lmfaoooo you could say im subverting the shoujo typical love triangle (love...square????) we do NOT hate women in this space!!!!!

stsg's argument is meant to be vague! especially since we're reading from rip!mc's perspective lol i do want to write a stsg companion piece eventually. one day. but let me try to finish THIS fic first fsjdfnk but yeah it's never explicitly revealed why they're arguing but i feel like it's implied??? maybe only in my head 😭😭😭 but it's definitely not your memory issues it's intentionally left hazy!!!

LMAOOO she DOES let stsg walk over her. even shoko at times. but shoko is also aware of it and tries not to. but sometimes ripmc needs to be....bullied. shoko has the best of intentions! meanwhile stsg 100% know what they're doing. they also fully take advantage that ripmc has never said no to them (not unless it involves other people)

im SOOOO glad that you brought up her wanting things for herself and choosing them!!!!! (it's going to happen. starting with a cat gojo loathes.) it's literally the first step in ripmc like...actually becoming a person with normal desires and wants and BOUNDARIES. especially in a relationship with stsg.....

ANOTHER POINT I LOVED YOU BROUGHT UP! ripmc as a character. you are so spot on because when i originally wrote rip2myyouth and everything ripmc wasn't SUPPOSED to have a character! the og rip2myyouth is INTENTIONALLY left vague and blank. she's a completely barebones character whose defining trait is being traumatized by the hidden inventory arc. back then people weren't as receptive?? to mc's with actual personalities. not like they are now! i was trying my best to be aware of that when i originally wrote it. like my first draft of rip is actually drastically different. like the first iteration of ripmc is an adrenaline junkie LOL i eventually scrapped it bc i thought it'd be better to go with a blanker character. and then when i decided to give ripmc an actual personality it BECAME her personality!!! she naturally became apathetic and deadpan and straightforward. im soooo glad you brought it up because i've been wanting to talk about ripmc's character conceptualization for a hot second!!!!!

unfortunately stsg in this fic are rock solid. it's a petty argument i think you'll see soon djsfskfkjsd. and hideo IS going to be a catalyst!!!!! having an actual friend(s) outside sashisu is going to completely change rip!mc's life LOL and give her a better perspective on like...everything. hideo....king. he's genuinely a great guy. rip.

i think the absolutely sick thing about ripmc and stsg's dynamic is that ripmc is the absolutely perfect vehicle to be coddled by stsg. what's she going to do? speak up about it? LMFAO she loves them so much she'll let them do whatever they want.

dog days are over | chapter three

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader x geto suguru warnings/tags (for this chapter): beginnings of a panic attack, mentions of implied dissociation and depression, slight nsfw word count: ~7.7k

fic masterlist read on ao3

There’s a wedding.

You know this because Satoru is holding a pristine white invitation with elaborately floral borders and calligraphy so curled it’s difficult for you to read it when for all intents and purposes, you are used to handling and deciphering historical accounts and journals.

That’s not the only thing.

The invitation had been addressed to both Satoru and Suguru.

The two of them are getting invitations sent as one. It means something. It’s an acknowledgement. Unspoken, but palpable.

Satoru flicked the invitation open, indifferently scanned the contents, and threw it on the nearest surface (the desk in front of him) with a lazy flick of his wrist. In his words: a higher up’s daughter was getting married to some big shot young politician. Their honored presences was humbly requested. They’d be delighted to have the strongest in attendance for the joyous occasion.

You picked up the invitation and scanned the date. Next month, on the sixteenth. A Friday. You have off on that Friday. You know that because there is an exhibit one of your professors is curating at the Tokyo National Museum you had planned on asking Satoru and Suguru to.

Satoru doesn't really respond well to invitations. You could still ask him—

“Friday’s going to be a real pain.” Satoru texts away on his phone. You watch as Suguru replies in real time. You wonder if the two of them have resolved all of their problems if they’re texting normally.

“Oh,” you say, surprised. “You’re going?”

Satoru’s gaze momentarily flicks up at you, holding your gaze for a few seconds, before returning to the screen. “Might as well.” The words come out begrudgingly. Satoru makes a face at his phone, presumably one of Suguru’s texts, and types out a long response.

You suppose that means that they have plans already. You don’t mind. You had been intending on going alone anyway.

Your own phone vibrates in your pocket. It’s a message from Shoko.

Ieiri Shoko

[4:31] there’s a wedding

[4:32] i have been invited to a wedding

[4:33] Satoru and Suguru too. Satoru said he’s going. Suguru too. Probably.

[4:33] ? Those two? lolololololol

[4:34] I didn’t think Satoru was going to go.

[4:36] your guess is as good as mine.

[4:36] how about you come with me? be my plus one

[4:36] say yes

You stare at Shoko’s text. Come…with her? To the wedding? You hadn’t expected to be invited. Either as a person or a plus one. You wouldn’t know anybody. The thought of being surrounded by people somewhere clearly didn’t belong makes you nervous. You won’t be able to rely on Satoru or Suguru or even Shoko’s presence. They’d be busy, too busy for you. You’d stand in a corner and stay quiet, and people would brush over you, a nameless person of little importance and significance.

If you’re being honest, it doesn’t sound like a good time. If Shoko really needed you it’d be one thing. But you’re sure your presence wouldn’t be missed.

You’d let her down gently.

You press out of the chat just as Satoru stands up to peer down your head and squint at your phone. You wonder what has him so curious, and shut your phone off and look up.

“We should go meet up with Shoko and Suguru, shouldn’t we?”

Satoru only sighs, rubbing at his neck with a faintly irritated look on his face. That’s not good.

He takes your hand and leads you out the door.

----

Dinner is fraught with tension. You look from Satoru to Suguru who are pointedly refusing to look at each other, which is difficult, considering they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder in a crammed yakitori restaurant.

You’re…unsure what exactly is going on. You thought your worries about Satoru and Suguru were a worry for the past, but now, it’s impossible to ignore the pointed silence, Suguru’s cool silence, or even Satoru’s increasing agitation. Without the usual sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, it’s even easier to tell Satoru's patience is running thin.

You look to Shoko, whose head rests on your shoulder as she idly scans the menu, unbothered.

“We should share the chicken meatballs,” she says. “And the squid. I’ll order two draft beers, and maybe some plum wine…”

You make noncommittal noise. Then look back to Satoru and Suguru, wondering what you can say to dissolve the tension and make them look at each other again.

“So,” you clear your throat. “Excited for the wedding?”

You smile encouragingly when they look at you.

“No,” Satoru says, unhappily. “Not really.”

You wonder why he’s even going in the first place. Is it because of Suguru? Are they fighting over attending the wedding? That sounds wrong. Satoru doesn’t like to put up with troublesome things, but for Suguru, a four hour wedding was nothing.

“Only children think the world bends to their whims,” Suguru remarks pleasantly, despite the sharp edge of his words. “Adults should know better. Even Mimiko and Nanako know better. Tsumiki and Megumi—”

If there’s one thing Satoru can’t handle, it’s a lecture from Suguru. That hasn’t changed since high school.

“Yeah?” There’s a dangerous challenge on Satoru’s tongue as his eyes narrow in accusation. “I know what I want. If that makes me a child, then fine. At least one of us does.”

“Shoko,” you whisper to her. “Something’s wrong.”

Contrary to your own panic, Shoko’s watches the two, amused. “The only thing wrong here is that I don’t have a beer.” She waves a waitress over just as Satoru and Suguru fall into stony faced silence.

A young, fresh faced waitress with her hair tied up in a ponytail bounds up to the table. Shoko lists half the menu, ordering for the table. Then she orders drinks. Alcohol for you and her, a melon soda for Satoru, water for Suguru.

“Make that three,” Suguru interjects. “I’ll have a beer too.”

She flushes prettily when Suguru gives her a polite smile, slyly tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. Satoru’s face darkens.

“How is medical school?” You ask Shoko. “You’re taking care of yourself, right?” You hope she’s taking breaks in between her studies and her work at the school, eating well, and sleeping a good seven hours every night.

She faces you, cheek flattened on her open palm. “I should be asking you that. Do you even remember to eat if I don’t remind you?” She pokes your nose.

“I eat,” you say, a touch defensively, but you already know Shoko knows better. Sometimes, you forget to eat. Sometimes it’s too much of a bother. You're fine though. Healthy enough.

“Hmmm.” She turns her attention to Satoru and Suguru. “This wedding is going to be awfully awkward if you two don't kiss and make up soon.”

“Everything’s fine,” Suguru says civilly. He softens at your concerned look. “It’s fine.”

You don’t believe him.

Satoru’s gaze is flinty. “Who says we’re even going together?”

“You’re free to go by yourself,” Suguru replies, serenely unbothered.

“Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll go with Shoko.”

“Absolutely not,” she says immediately. “I’ve already got a plus one.”

Your stomach drops, put on the spot. You hadn’t had the time to think of an adequate excuse to avoid the wedding as Shoko’s date. It’s too late for excuses if Shoko’s already told them you’re going. You can’t let her look the fool by backing out now!

They look at you. Your lips curl in an automatic smile.

There’s the beginnings of a playful grin on her face. “We’re picking out dresses tomorrow, aren’t we?”

“Yeah…”

Well, if any good came out of this wedding, it would have to be getting to go dress shopping with Shoko and helping her pick out a formal dress. You’d like that. You always thought she looked good in bold colors, and if the occasion warrants it, she’ll wear her bright red lipstick. You already feel lighter, excited at the prospect of seeing her in all different types of dresses. You’d take the job seriously, make sure you help her pick the best—

“Kimono,” Satoru states.

“Dress,” Suguru asserts.

You blink. Their gazes clash, and you can feel a chill come over you. What are they fighting over now? This might even be worse than the several occasions they fought in high school. Never had they fought about anything that couldn’t be settled with a good fistfight. Something tells you this runs deeper. It’s more than a trivial burst of high tempers, more than juvenile attitudes at work.

“What?”

A lazy smile hangs from Shoko's lips. She is thoroughly amused, taking everything in as if she’s at the theater. “I asked them whether or not I should put you in a kimono or a dress for the big event.”

You didn’t even think about what you’d wear to the wedding. You assumed Shoko would give you something. And if not, you could just go shopping. If Shoko was too busy to come, then Ijichi usually had a good eye for silhouette and fashion. You worry about your kouhai once more. He really is too competent for his own good. You hope you won't be troubling him too much in the future.

You are discomfited. You don’t want the hypotheticals of something as inconsequential as what you plan to wear to an event to be another point of contention between them.

“That’s…I don’t really care what I wear.”

“Whatever you want to wear,” Suguru says reassuringly. “I’m sure you’ll look perfect regardless.”

You warm at Suguru’s words, unexpectedly abashed as you lower your gaze to your lap. It’s hard to think of yourself as perfect, especially in terms of appearances when you’re anything but. You determinedly meet Shoko’s eyes. “I’ll do my best not to embarass you,” you say deathly serious.

You’ll do your best to be sociable, speak when spoken to, and try not to let yourself get caught up in all the important people you’re sure are going to be in attendance. You figure if anything this could be practice. Making new friends. Although all you’ve known for the last years of your life is Satoru and Suguru and Shoko. Occasionally Utahime when she visits down from Kyoto. Mei Mei too, even. You can’t rely on them forever, you know this. It’s easy to forget the monotony of the days before you entered high school. Days passing while in a trance, food tasting bland, the perpetual buzzing in your ears. You slept and slept and slept. You spent more days asleep than awake until you were inevitably needed for another mission.

You don’t think you had known what it meant to live, in those days. You didn’t know that the salty breeze of the ocean was a sensation in your nose that felt akin to the seconds before a sneeze. You didn’t know that the colored disco lights in a small karaoke room could bring you so much joy. You didn’t know that hot summer days could be idle, that eating a popsicle with friends could be a momentous occasion. All of these moments, engraved on your heart. You’d take them to the grave, and you’d be content.

You still occasionally experience these fits of sadness so encompassing you drown in it. Especially around certain times in the year. Sometimes, you find it difficult to wake up. There’s a boulder in your chest, pressing on your lungs and weighing you down. You sleep for days. Wake up to remind yourself that you still exist, and close your eyes. Other days, you feel your body move on auto pilot, from one destination to another, cursory smiles and words. You don’t remember much of anything. Just that when you wake up, you feel yourself again. And if you don’t, you sleep and repeat until you do.

It’s a troubling matter to articulate. Something you’ve never quite put into words. If it’s an inconvenience to you, it’d be an annoyance to others. So you keep quiet, and hope it stays a secret, where it won’t bother anyone.

“As if that matters,” she sighs, eyeing you warmly. “ You’re not that one that needs to worry about embarrassing me.”

She side eyes the two men seated across from you, and sighs. "Hopeless.” She flings the word at them.

Your waitress returns with skewers of meats and vegetables and more. Shoko gratefully takes her drinks, and downs half of it down. Then she takes a chicken skewer.

The rest of your meal continues in either silence or short lived conversation. Suguru asks about your thesis. About Shoko soldiering through medical school. Shoko orders more alcohol. You ask him and Satoru about Kyoto, since the two of them have been spending more and more time at Kyoto tech for one thing or another. Meetings, clan visits, Satoru visiting members of the Gojo clan, etc. You stick to safe topics of discussion, and decide that any talk about matchmaking ceremonies or arranged marriages is dangerous.

It’s only so often that the four of you can meet up like this. Adult responsibilities and all. You hope Satoru and Suguru make up soon. To you, this time is precious. And even with Satoru and Suguru refusing conversation with each other, you’re happy to be with them.

The night goes by in a blink of an eye. Shoko orders another round of drinks. Soon it’s twelve in the morning, and Shoko calls for the check. You’re getting ready to leave when your waitress approaches apprehensively.

“Excuse me,” she says, fingers curled around a piece of paper. You watch eagerly, excited at being able to watch a confession unfold. But the storminess in Satoru’s expression creeps back in and you sweat. She hesitates, gaze flicking from Satoru, back to Suguru, and draws back with a shake of her head. The scrap of paper clenches in her hand. “I’m sorry, I thought—”

“Oh, I am,” Suguru smiles. “Single.”

Shoko chokes on her laughter. Satoru doesn’t look amused in the slightest, jealousy as palpable as a strike of lightning and the aftermath smell of burnt grass. You stare down at your lap, willing yourself to be as small as possible, discomfort prickling at your chest.

“Oh…Oh! Then I—” she flushes, looking back at the gaggle of other waitresses towards the cash register, two of whom give her a thumbs up. She extends her arms, bowing her head, piece of paper tucked between her fingers. It looks like an offering. An offering of Valentine’s day chocolate. “I wanted you to have this! Just—just in consideration of me!”

It’s undoubtedly endearing. You’ve never been in love. You wonder if you were normal, if it’d come more naturally to you. If you were a normal girl without the occasional bouts of terror and sadness and the all consuming exhaustion. Without the need to hide away every once in a while. Someone who could lead a happy and guiltless life. You wonder if you had ever had a chance. A possibility for you to be loved. Or if it had been the inevitable circumstances of your birth that had condemned you to a lonely, forgotten existence.

Shoko takes you by the arm, excusing the two of you for fresh air, before you can hear or see Suguru’s response.

Outside, snow is beginning to fall. You stare at it as it lazily floats onto buildings, Shoko’s head, the ground. You brush the white off her head as she lights a cigarette and inhales with a gusto.

“I needed this!” She rests against the brick of the restaurant and exhales. “Those two love to make their business everyone’s problem, huh.”

Your lips twitch, despite the gravity of the situation. “I’m worried about them.”

“They’ll be fine,” she briefly stares at the lit end of her cigarette, the ashes flickering to the floor, before meeting your gaze. “They always are, aren’t they?”

----

You immediately feel out of place as you and step into the hotel’s banquet hall for the wedding reception. It’s beautiful, decorated with flowers, vines that hang from the ceiling and down the columns, and ice sculptures set up around the floor. Round tables with designated seating and personalized name cards set atop the plates fill the venue while leaving the middle of the room, the dance floor, open. Not a single yen wasted.

You scan the crowd of faces for Shoko, or even Satoru or Suguru. There’s not a single recognizable face. You swallow down your growing unease, adjust the silk skirt of your dress, and try your best to inspire confidence in yourself.

You slowly take in the rest of the grand room, take a glass of champagne offered, and then realize you’re too nervous to drink. There seems to be an unusual amount of people concentrated around the main entrance. Your skin prickles uncomfortably. Years later, you still don’t do well around consistent crowds of people. Sometimes, it feels like if you’re slowly suffocating, boxed in where the walls are slowly closing in on you.

It’s not a pleasant feeling. You walk in the opposite direction and try to tune it out, careful not to grip the champagne glass too tightly. You hadn’t been invited to the actual wedding procession. You wouldn’t be invited to the Shinto ceremony either. That was reserved only for a special group of guests. You’re glad for it. You don’t know if you can survive in close quarters with people important enough to run the country of Japan.

“There you are,” a familiar voice pulls you out of your thoughts, a hand on your shoulder.

You turn, brightening. “Shoko!”

She looks stunning in the dark crimson gown she picked out when the two of you had gone dress shopping, and you can already see a few interested glances in her direction. Her hair is braided up, exposing her slender neck, and you can smell the cypress of her favorite perfume. You catch yourself staring at the red lining her lips, a few shades lighter than dress. If anything, you think being able to see Shoko like this is worth all the troubles of pretending to be… somebody.

“How was the wedding?” You hand her your own untouched champagne. She lifts it to her lips and it’s gone.

That gets a grin out of her. “Interesting.”

She tells you that it had been an arranged marriage, and the bride had staunchly resisted the match, to the last second, which explained the closed, intimate ceremony. Furthermore, the bride refused to write and recite her vows, which had made for an entertaining scene on the altar. And that when the groom had leaned down to kiss her, she had angled her face away, so that his lips had collided with her cheek instead of lips.

The story is entertaining. Though you can’t help but feel bad for the bride, forced into a marriage by forces outside her control. What if she was already in love with somebody else? What if she had no interest in marriage? What is she didn't want a husband?

Shoko draws back a step, looking you up and down with a nod of approval. She smooths out the neckline of your dress. “I thought you’d look good in this one. It makes me want to show you off.”

You glance down at the silk dress adorned on you, so soft it ripples with every movement. It’s a pretty dress, although you’re sure you don’t do it justice.

“How are Satoru and Suguru?” You ask hesitantly.

Shoko tilts her head towards the main entrance. “How about you ask them yourself?”

Upon closer inspection, you realize the crowd of people around the entrance had been gathered around Satoru and Suguru. Huh. You didn’t originally notice them. You must have been too caught up in your head.

“No thanks,” you say, not wanting to intrude, but you take the time to watch them for a little longer.

Suguru’s face is animated with a bright smile as he converses with several other older guests, head slightly inclined in a politely deferential stance. They’re both in Kimonos. Matching colors. That brings a smile to your face. Still united in some way even if they may be in the midst of a long standing argument.

Satoru’s face is shaded with sunglasses, a suspiciously blank expression in the indifferent set of his lips. You aren’t sure you’ve caught his eye, but he perks in your direction, and when you raise your hand in a slight wave, he straightens.

Shoko weaves her arm through yours. “Alright, let’s get more drinks!”

You catch the frown forming on his lips just as Shoko tugs you away.

Shoko manages to get an entire bottle of champagne. Then she leads you to the largest table in the room, towards the front of the banquet hall, and gestures to your seat next to hers before taking a seat and filling her glass back up.

“I healed the bride’s father a while back,” she says, taking a sip of the champagne. “Stage 4 kidney cancer.” She makes a face. “I hate making house calls, but the higher ups insisted. I’m not trying to become a private doctor.”

“He must have been grateful.”

“He was,” she snorts. “He tried to buy me into his employ.” She leans back into her seat, looking at the banquet hall. “The man certainly has the money.”

“You like it at jujutsu tech,” you say with a bright smile. “You’d never leave us.” You’d like to think she’d never leave you.

“I wouldn’t leave you,” she says, matter of factly. “How could I leave you with those two insensitive jerks?"

You’re so pleased you don’t think your smile can contain it all. She said she wouldn’t leave you. The champagne you took one sip of sits bubbly in your stomach. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be that bad. Less work, more money…” you shrug. “If it made you happy, I wouldn’t mind.” Jujustu tech would probably fall apart without Shoko, so you leave that part out. You just want her to be happy.

She exhales. “I’m happy where I am right now.”

The two of you share a smile.

Shoko’s bottle inevitably runs empty while she recounts a funny incident in medical school involving a cadaver, and you offer to get her another one.

When you come back, there’s a man you don’t recognize in your seat, conversing with Shoko. You wonder what they’re talking about, for Shoko to look so unusually engaged. You’ve observed her in all her varying degrees of disinterest and moods to be able to read her well. You don’t want to disturb her. So you drop the bottle on the nearby counter of the open bar and turn on your heels to do another lap around the room. Once again, you spot Suguru and Satoru, who have relocated to underneath one of the glass stained windows running the length of the wall of the room.

Satoru is with the groom, a tall man with handsome features dressed in a tailored black suit. The rising star politician, you assume. Next to him, his sullen bride stands, surly disposition visible all the way from your place in the room. A stunning emerald dress is draped across her figure, ending at her ankles. Her arms are crossed. Satoru’s lips move in response.

Next to him, a couple feet away, Suguru is talking to a woman dressed in a silver colored heavy furisode, the two of them deep in conversation. Your interest is piqued. You can’t quite see her face, her back towards you, but you think she may be Suguru’s matchmaking attendee.

You should give them privacy. Well. You shouldn’t be gawking at them. You turn just as someone else steps behind you, colliding into them. The ensuing collision has you precariously teetering back. Before you can regain your balance, a strong hand wraps around your upper arm, another around your waist, steadying you at once.

“You alright?”

The man you bumped into you gives you a dirty look, before continuing on his way. You look at the man. There’s something familiar about the set of his cheekbones, the curl of his lips in an easy smile, his dark green gaze, like the clearing of a forest. You’ve had this thought before, long ago. When the green of a boy’s eyes made you remember there was color in the world.

“Yes,” you reply slowly, waiting for him to let you go. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“I’ve been watching you.”

You stare at him, unsure of how to take his comment. Watching…you…? You hope you haven’t done anything embarrassing. “Excuse me…?”

He promptly drops his arms and steps away. You slowly move to take a step back. Maybe you could pretend someone was calling you over—

“Wait a minute! That made me sound—” he shakes his head. “Wait.” He extends his hand, a wide grin on his face. “Let's start over! Shirokami Hideo.”

It clicks. Oh. You know this man. Well, you knew the boy. You don’t remember much from your time at the Kamo compound. It’s a series of blurred faces and muffled voices. Long stretches of darkness. You slept a lot back then too, you think, because the only thing you do remember in clarity is the sandalwood scent of your comforter, and your preference for sleeping on futons.

“Hideo-kun,” you say, as you remember a shallow brook deep in the forest, and the boy who had taught you to catch fireflies with his hands. You wonder how and why you had forgotten in the first place. You left the Kamo compound, and forgot it all in the monotony of the ensuing years. His voice is deeper, and he’s grown into his face, but if nothing else, his eyes are the same. “I remember you.”

He beams. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Do you still like stargazing?”

---

The surprise must be evident on your face because he sheepishly scratches his face. “The first time you talked to me, it was to tell me that I was looking at the Canis Major, not the Crow.”

You don’t remember it, but it touches you just the same. To think that someone remembered you, even when you didn’t. You had left a piece of yourself in someone.

You take a bite of your lobster, nodding. “I do. I try to go when I can. But I’ve been so busy lately…” You’ve also been meaning to take the kids with you one night. When the weather warms up, you’ll bring them to the mountains. They’d like that. You know Tsumiki was delighted when you gave her a book that illustrated the constellations. You had bought it for her with Megumi on one of your outings.

Hideo nods in sympathy. “It’s tough being a jujutsu sorcerer. Trust me, I’m taking advantage of the low season to take time off to relax!”

The two of you sit at a table tucked away in the far corner. Hideo’s table. There had been an empty seat which he offered. You gratefully accepted, especially when you managed to catch a glimpse of your original table. You had seen Shoko, Satoru, and Suguru. Along with the bride, groom, and a couple other distinguished people seated at the table. You’re glad to escape from the scrutiny. You do much better in obscurity.

You spent the last hour catching up. Hideo was mainly located in Kyoto, with his clan, a Kamo branch family, but he had been preparing to move to Tokyo for a change in scenery.

You knew him for a brief three months, before his return to his clan for his mother’s funeral. He regretted not being able to leave you a note, or tell you that he was leaving. He tried to contact you after, but nobody knew your whereabouts, especially since you moved back to Tokyo and was subsequently lost in the system.

Currently, with his father on bedrest, he was preparing to take over the clan from Tokyo. The move to Tokyo is an effort to bridge the gap and relationship between the Tokyo and Kyoto jujtusu societies.

In return, you offered your own mundane and uneventful recollection of your life up to this point. Compared to Hideo’s, you didn’t have much to offer. You moved to Tokyo after studying the katana at the Kamo compound. Undertook missions as expected of you, and lived alone up until high school. Then you enrolled in jujutsu tech. Now you’re in school for your masters, and then hopefully, a PHD.

It feels odd to talk to someone other than Shoko, Suguru, and Satoru. You don’t know Hideo nearly as well, despite a brief history together. Where you can search for familiarity in the softness of Suguru’s smile, the mischievous curl of Shoko’s lips, Satoru’s straightforward demeanor, there’s nothing here to cling to. You don’t remember what it ever meant to be without them. It’s alarming. It’s frightening.

But you think this is what it means to start anew.

The room quiets as a spoon taps glass. Attention gathers towards the table in the middle of the room where an older man in a tuxedo stands. It’s a five minute speech that you don’t really give much thought to, your thoughts with the bride who looks precariously close to storming out of the room.

Hideo tilts his head towards you, his lips in your ear. “She doesn’t look too happy, huh.”

You have to agree.

There are three more speeches. You don’t recognize anybody. Soon after, conversation fills the room once more.

During a lull in a conversation, you excuse yourself to the restroom for a few minutes to yourself. Upon entering the brightly lit room, your gaze is directed towards a woman seated on one of the loveseats in front of a large, wall length mirror, fixing her makeup. You recognize her silver kimono immediately, and when the small, compact mirror slips from her hand and onto the floor by your feet, you bend down to hand it to her. There’s a lotus engraved onto the back of the mirror.

“Thank you,” she says delicately, fingers brushing yours as she takes back her mirror. Up close, you take in her full appearance. The delicate contours of her light makeup to her exceptionally beautiful hazel eyes. Her brown hair is shoulder length, brushing her shoulders, bangs immaculately cut across her forehead. She looks like a doll, even more so when she gives you an inquisitive look, a polite smile curling her lips.

“Is something the matter?”

You realize you’ve been staring. Your face burns. “I’m sorry,” you say, voice reedy, unable to articulate how lovely you think she looks, or how you had seen her talking to Suguru earlier, and whether or not she is who you think she is. So you simply awkwardly look at her. Nod your head in a curt goodbye and turn back around, intent on not speaking to anyone but Hideo for the rest of the evening, lest you embarrass yourself further.

You run right into someone’s chest, and hear a familiar voice say your name, the familiar scent of sandalwood in your nose, as a hand on your upper arm rights you back up.

“Suguru,” you say happily, looking at him. Up close, you think he looks especially handsome in his dark blue kimono. His usually pulled up hair is down, flowing down his back. You like it when he lets his hair down. You didn’t think you’d get to see him, or even talk to him today. “I seem to be bumping into a lot of people today…”

Concern immediately colors his face as he smooths your hair down and fixes the shoulder of your dress. His hand stays on your shoulder, thumb tracing your collarbone in comforting motions. “Everything alright?”

“Yes!” You reply immediately to assuage his concern, if anything. You hope he's alright. Or at least making nice with Satoru for the duration of this event. You're sure they've grown past making a public spectacle of their arguments, but one can never be too sure. “I’m no good at these types of events. I guess I’m just a little nervous…”

“I was looking for you,” he says, eyebrows furrowed. “Shoko said you were…” his features grow taunt, lips tugging into a slight frown, “fine. But you weren’t in your seat.”

Shoko must have seen you with Hideo. Which meant she looked for you. Your smile grows wider. However, even the thought of returning to your designated seat surrounded by the most important people at the event you’d be expected to converse with makes your stomach twist. Embarrassing yourself was one thing. Embarrassing Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko was another.

“She’s right,” you confirm, doing your best to reassure him. “I found an old friend!”

His lips reflexively twitch into a smile, maintaining an amiable expression, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “An…old friend…?”

“I’ve been with him the entire time, so you don’t need to worry. I’ll introduce you,” you say eagerly, excited at the prospect of being able to introduce Hideo to Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko. “He—”

“Are you cold?” Suguru suddenly asks you lightly, hand slightly squeezing your shoulder. “The air condition is cold in here, isn’t it?”

“Not really,” you blink. “...Are you cold?” That wouldn’t do. Maybe you could ask the hotel receptionist—

“Geto-sama,” a voice interrupts, “I didn’t think I’d find you out here.” You turn, seeing the woman in the silver kimono, once more, smiling, a fresh layer of red painting her lips. You straighten, resisting the urge to smooth out your dress.

“I was on my way to get some air,” Suguru answers with a smile of his own. “I ran into a close friend.” He chuckles goodnaturedly. “I’m trying to convince her to come back with me.”

Come back with him?

Her gaze slides to you. If she remembers you, her expression is unreadable. Her eyes slightly widen. “Oh my,” she lifts her hand to her mouth. “Is it your seat I’ve taken? My apologies—”

“Oh, it’s fine!” You wave her off. She looks genuinely apologetic. “Please, take my seat. I’ve found another with an old friend.”

“Is that so…” She trails off, glancing up at Suguru. “Forgive me, we haven’t been properly introduced.” She lowers her head. “Sasaki Kumiko. Pleased to meet your acquaintance.”

You reply with your own name, and an encouraging smile.

“Speaking of,” you step away. “I’ve kept Hideo-kun waiting long enough. Why don’t you take her with you to get fresh air, Suguru?”

“It would be a pleasure,” Kumiko says, eyes brightening at the idea, giving a face a certain type of incandescent joy. “I would love to accompany you.”

You don’t wait for his reply to make yourself scarce. You give his hand a little squeeze, before making your way back to Hideo.

The two of you fall back into easy conversation and talk until the moon is high and bright in the sky. Plates are cleared and guests start to rise once again, mingling and talking as the dancefloor begins to fill up.

You’re unsure of what to do. Should you look for Shoko again? You’re not much of a dancer. You don’t want to hold her back with your discomfort. Hideo lightly taps on your arm, bending down to whisper into your ear: “There’s a garden outside. Do you want to walk with me?”

You are instantly relieved. With everybody crowded around the dance floor to witness the bride and groom’s first dance, the two of you would be able to slip outside. Nobody would be there. You could get away.

You nod, and he takes your hand, leading you towards the exit leading to the hotel lobby, and then outside. As the two of you step out into the pebble lined path, lit up in anticipation for the wedding, you can still hear the strings of the quartet playing from the ballroom. Immaculately tended flowers line the path, flowers of every color and shape. You sigh, feeling the tension slipping from your body.

“I’m sorry if I scared you. Earlier.” Hideo laughs, rubbing the back of his neck, turning to you earnestly. “I saw you earlier, and I spent so much time thinking of what to say to you that I completely forgot what I was going to say!”

You laugh, despite the outside chill trailing over your body. You relate to the feeling of your tongue not working at times. “You didn’t scare me. But I did think you mistook me for someone else at first,” you admit. You were initially perturbed, that was true. You’re glad he cleared the air before you managed to escape. You’re glad that you’ve met him again, after all these years.

The path opens to a small clearing with an empty fountain as Hideo fondly details his short lived time at the main Kamo estate with you. At the Kamo compound, he was one of many boys, left alone to his own devices in favor of the more elite sons of the family. It was the first time he had ever tasted freedom away from his own clan estate, where he was coddled by servants and his sickly mother.

Upon your silence, he looks at you, concerned. “Is it cold?” He moves to take off his jacket but you stop him.

“It’s not that,” you blurt out. The cold feels good on your skin. Calms you down. “I don’t remember much from back then. It’s all…hazy.” Any recollection of your childhood draws a blank. It makes you feel bad that you can’t dignify his memories with your own. “But I know that…” you trail off, staring at your feet. “You were kind to me. Back then.” Even you know that you hadn’t been in the right state of mind so soon after your father died. You wanted to leave the past behind. You didn’t want to remember. You had to forget to survive.

You sit down on the cold surface of stone, and exhale. You didn’t realize Hideo’s appearance would dredge up the past like this. You feel tired all of a sudden. You want to go back to the apartment you’ve made a home, curl up in your bed, and let sleep claim you once more.

A weight settles on your shoulders as the warmth of Hideo’s jacket envelopes you. He takes a seat next to you, gaze searching yours.

“You were a child,” he says gently. “It’s okay to forgive yourself—”

You don’t hear the rest of his words as blood rushes to your ears. You can’t swallow the lump in your throat, and your face feels hot to the touch. Your fingers curl into the skirt of your dress. Forgiveness . You have no right to forgiveness. You allow yourself just enough happiness, and that’s enough.

“—it was only three months.” His gaze turns a touch concerned. “Are you alright?”

Panic bubbles in your chest as you manage shallow breaths, staring at him in increasing discomfort as your vision begins to go spotty.

Forgiveness? Your father died before he could forgive you. He died resenting your birth. He wished you had died instead of your mother. The forgiveness to absolve yourself isn't yours.

“There you are.”

You’d recognize the sharp cadence of Satoru’s voice anywhere. You focus on it. He’s unhappy. You wonder if he got into another fight with Suguru. You turn to where he stands, arms crossed, jaw set into a hard line. In the moonlight he glows otherworldly, a piece of divinity on earth. If only his expression matched.

His eyes are piercingly alight as he approaches. “Shoko’s looking for you.”

“Oh.” You perk up. “She is?” In your momentary elation at the prospect of seeing Shoko again, the anxiety dissipates enough for you to collect yourself. You almost forget to make introductions, but Hideo beats you to it, standing up.

“Gojo-sama,” he says, inclining his head. “It’s an—”

“Like I care,” is Satoru’s clipped response. A dismissive glance in Hideo’s general direction, before his gaze is focused on you again. You stare at him, taken aback at his rudeness.

He pulls you up, not roughly, and examines you with a keen eye. He takes in the coat on your shoulders, and irritation shrouds his face once more. He swipes it off your shoulders and throws it back on the fountain. Then he takes off his haori and sweeps it over your shoulders. Without another word, he takes you by the wrist and away.

You give Hideo one last glance over your shoulder. He waves, a good natured smile on his face.

You eye Satoru’s back, trying to tug your hand back to your side to no avail. His fingers are locked around your wrist. Despite his annoyance, you’re happy to see him. There’s so much you want to tell him, about all the small details about your shameful past you tried to hide, about the small things you did remember about your time at the Kamo compound, even about Hideo—

You are backed into a wall, Satoru looming above you, eyes flashing. “Who the hell was that?”

You blink at him, looking from Satoru’s left arm caging you into the wall, to the other with slight disbelief. “Shirokami…Hideo…” We lived together when we were younger. Back when I had nobody. Back when I was a ghost. He taught me how to catch fireflies. I don’t remember much about those days, but I think he made me happy.

You hold your tongue.

You hope you aren’t being presumptuous. “He’s a friend—”

Satoru’s fingers dig into your chin as he lifts your face up. You look into his eyes, brighter than the moon hanging in the sky, and you think there’s something disconcerting in the way he looks at you. Like you could ask him to defy the laws of the world. For you, he do it. And if you asked him to bring down a star, he’d lay it on your palm.

The world stills, just as it usually does when you meet his gaze. Your heart skips a beat in your chest as you stare at him, daring you to pull away, to drop your gaze back to your feet.

You feel his hand curl around your nape, pulling you to him with a squeeze that feels branding. He takes your lips with a bruising kiss, pressing you back into a garden shed. A startled noise leaves your open lips, and Satoru takes advantage, teeth sinking into your bottom lip with a distinct viciousness. You feel his tongue dragging against your own, hungry. Your eyes widen, never leaving his lidded stare that could be a glare. His hands come up to cup your face, angling you to his whims, effectively keeping you still against the onslaught of his lips as he steals your breath away.

He’s all you can see and feel. The heat of him, his palpable desire, so feverish it eats you alive. You push at his chest, feeling the lack of oxygen muddle your brain but he only holds you tighter. When he finally pulls away, a string of saliva briefly connects your lips, broken when Satoru’s tongue runs over his lips. Your hands are fisted into the fabric of his nagagi so tightly that you’ve pulled it open, exposing more of his chest than necessary. You let go, hands falling limp to your side.

His eyes lower back to your lips, and you startle. You’d take a step back if you could, but instead you push back into the wall. Somewhere in between, Satoru had lifted you up, your legs loosely wrapped around his waist, dress hiked up. Satoru’s hand is resting on your bare thigh with a grip that has no intention of letting you move, and a shiver rips through your body as you inhale gulps of air. His leg rests between your thighs, reminding you of the uncomfortable wetness staining your panties.

He leans forward and you unknowingly tense, but instead of your lips you feel a sting on your neck. Teeth. You wince, but Satoru holds you in place, fingers curling into you like a warning. You feel his tongue tracing the bruise, before he straightens with a finality. You might be shaking but you’re unsure if it’s from the cold or…

You stare at him, stunned, while he meets your gaze unrepentantly.

“I…” your voice trembles as the awful reality slowly sets in. “Could you…” you struggle with the words. “...Please put me down.”

For one terrifying second, you see the beginnings of the stubborn set of his eyebrows, as if he might refuse.

Then, wordlessly, wearing a frown, he lifts you down.

You don’t think. You bend down on unsteady legs to pick up his fine haori that had fallen to the ground, and neatly fold it. You hand it to him. He takes it.

“Good night,” you intone.

You stiffly walk back into the hotel lobby, where everyone has gathered, ready to leave for the night or take taxis to the invite exclusive after party. You think you might walk to the train station. Nothing feels real.

You should text Shoko. Tell her that you didn’t feel good and that you took a taxi home. Yes, you’ll do that.

You accidentally meet Suguru’s searching gaze from across the room. You register surprise across his face. Then he slowly makes his way through the crowd. There's something wet on your lips, and when you raise your hand there's a smear of blood on your fingers. You take a step back, stomach twisting into knots. You’ll walk.

You’ll walk.

You turn around, starting through the hotel lobby where cabs have begun to line the entrance and the streets outside. You'll feel bad later. You walk through it all. Once you get far away enough, you manage to flag an empty taxi down.

You don’t remember the car ride home. You enter your apartment and make it to your bed just as your legs buckle. You fall asleep in daze, wondering if the night was all just a bad dream.

#the way i wrote you an even longer ass response lmfao #thank you for reading though lovely beloved <3333

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anniesocsandgeneralstore · 2 years ago

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Share 10 facts about your OC and their pairing

Thank you Kass! You are a saint to this community ❤️ These 10 facts are coming at you live from Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Ronnie Bradshaw. Slapping a read more on this bad boy cause it got out of hand. I just love them so much.

Ronnie and Jake met while he was going through the TOPGUN program (in my head that's four years before the plot of the movie...I realize that's inaccurate to how it all actually works but it's my universe now boys)

Their relationship four years ago started as a one-night stand, but then neither of them could get enough of each other. They decided not to be anything serious, like acquaintances with benefits - mostly because Jake found out she was Rooster's sister and he knew if Rooster found out he would be a dead man.

Jake shows affection with physical touch (he also has this inherent NEED to let everyone know that Ronnie is his girl. And the best way to do that? Have his hand on or near her butt at all times). But the way he likes to be SHOWN love is through acts of service. He likes to be taken care of, okay?

Ronnie generally shows affection through gift giving though. She just loves buying him random things at the store that made her think of him. Whether it be a candy or a shirt or a weird little figurine. But being SHOWN affection...probably a good mix of quality time and words of affirmation. She needs a lot of reassurance when it comes to close relationships.

Jake is very organized. He likes his spaces clean and he likes to know where everything is. Ronnie literally makes him want to throw up because she is a chaotic mess but he loves her anyway.

One time, at the bar during their previous relationship, a night when Rooster obviously wasn't there. A guy came on to Ronnie really hard. And this shouldn't have bothered Jake, right? They were just having a casual fling, right? WRONG He stepped in and got the guy to leave her alone and they had a HOT make-out sesh in the backroom.

Neither of them really cook. Jake looks like the kinda guy who just cooks like a shit ton of rice and chicken for himself to last like an entire week and he is content with that. And Ronnie...Ronnie can't cook AT ALL and orders take out literally every day. This will have to be rectified in the future if they want to survive....

Jake had a high school sweetheart that he thought he was gonna marry. They were homecoming king and queen and all. But then she couldn't handle the long-distance him being in the Navy brought on and she dumped him. Hard. Over the phone. He's been with many girls since but all of them he's kept at an arm's length or kept super casual cause for a long time he couldn't handle getting his heart broken like that again. (UNTIL HE MET RONNIE BABEY)

Ronnie, on the other hand, has been in a handful of relationships. Each of them long and each of them the breakups were super messy. Like fighting over who gets to keep the cat messy. She always tells herself she won't fall so hard so fast next time...But she's also always been a hopeless romantic. Jake was actually the first casual relationship she was ever in.

Jake and Ronnie....Love each other so much it's kinda insane. They're pretty opposite sometimes, but are also so similar and just think the world of one another.

top gun taglist: @oneirataxia-girl @arrthurpendragon @pasta88love @theforevermorereject @sqrlgrl22 @townley-29 @alittlelostalittlefound @fenderenderender @chaoticassidy @capswife @marrianena @luckyladycreator2 @fulla02 @fangirlofallthings22 @dempy @imagineyneyjr @blue-aconite @commxnderwolffe @darkestbeforethedawn16 @sopheeg @mizzy-pop @loveforaugust @hope-love-equality2

#annie answers #oc asks #oc: ronnie bradshaw #fic: come over here and overwhelm me #fd: top gun #jake seresin x ronnie bradshaw

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asterlark · 3 years ago

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ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey

eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele

he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams

he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)

(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)

the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in

so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented

(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)

jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense

“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:

“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)

justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)

adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)

larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons

“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is

bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks

jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”

but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term

then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase

of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing

he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot

his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice

the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look

SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs

and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little

he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)

they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them

they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)

around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates

THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun

bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much

and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck

so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”

spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win

jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation

speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries

but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty

they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs

jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now

and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake

he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)

i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)

the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit

jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist

when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward

jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award

his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"

obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"

the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes

r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up

that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics

and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time

summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games

bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)

senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc

however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital

he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away

eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it

he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song

with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom

meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in

and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube

but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming

bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school

luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out

when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes

(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)

their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride

then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over

after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship

they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!

they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢

(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)

bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)

when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.

what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.

his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).

and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.

jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"

and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.

the end :)

#check please #omgcp #samwell college of music au #mine #my writing #eric bittle #jack zimmermann #omgcp fic #check please fic #zimbits #uhh idk what else to tag #this fucking thing is like 4.1k words i'm-#i hope you enjoy it (and reblog it!) bc i've been working on this for literal years #i know i'll never actually write it as a longform fic so here's a bullet pt fic instead #pls let me know your thoughts i have so many things to say about this au

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