#he's a great dancer who can do high school characters very well

[teknicaldifficulties]

i am being Very assumptive when i say this bc i haven't seen will branner in action yet (i mean, i technically have, but that was an ensemble role in a show i saw Three Years Ago), but i now believe that if santa claus is goin' to high school ever makes a reappearance in hatchetfield, kris'll prolly be played by will.

[lordkingsmith]

Zack Taylor known canon children and au children

Man I love Zack. When I was a kid I loved that Zack was a dancer, and was so cool. I loved how NICE he was. He’s a friggin sweetie. In comics I like how this is really focused on; he’s sweet, he’s popular, he’s a nice guy who’s doing his best. He’s not perfect but he’s trying. He can be serious, but he’s never straight up mean unless he has to be, and you can tell he hates it. Should have said so with Trini XD she’s the same way. I just ship her and Richie and got carried away, apologies.

If I’ve forgotten anyone you want to see or I think of them as I go, I’ll add 😁😁

Zack Taylor’s Canon Children;

I do like he didn’t end up with any of his high school sweethearts. Cute as the trope is, doesn’t work for everyone and that’s not a bad thing. Zack's a very fun character, and very charming, but it's cool it wasn't a sweetheart, and I do like thinking he and Billy are together. And I love the chemistry of Zack and Billy in once and always. There's something so sweet about those two bonding when in the first season, Zack had to keep asking Trini for help understanding Billy.

Minh Kwan. He is a great dad to Minh lol. I love how you can see the dawning “oh grid this is what ‘teenager with attitude’ means. I was just like this and this is not good”. Darling I see your pain but you’re doing a good job! She loves you very much! You and Billy are her dads!

My OC’s for Zack Taylor’s Non Canon Children;

Angela (last name unknown);

-props face in hand- seems she was another "had a larger plot relevance that got rewritten and thus wrote the character out of the show" character. That makes three I've run across. Sharkie, Richie, Angela. You could almost make an entire team of their own with these written out of the show characters. I won't say anything more about that, it is what it is. I will say while I wasn't the biggest fan of Angela's episodes, she seemed okay, and Zack was smitten. Which was definitely cute to watch, he was adorable in love with her. But I do have ideas for their kids, and I am quite taken with these two if I do say so myself.

Zack had a long love affair with Angela and they had two kids once he completely retired from being a ranger. She’s a senator’s wife, and they’re a senator’s kids. This has the predictable outcome of the two, Neveah, aged 21 and Bernard Taylor, aged 19, being a bit rebellious.

Neveah is a wild child, though not malicious in the slightest. Trickster type, very mischievous, she's definitely the class clown type. Prefers lightening the mood or getting back at people in the most prankster chaos way possible. She's aware of the rangers, and helps as a senator's child with all the perks that comes with it. She's going into business with the interest of owning a coffeeshop and gallery, so that the community can come and display and possibly sell art, and have a safe place to talk and decompress. Her brother included. They're not especially close, but she does want him to have a place to just be a person. Neveah is also not super close to her dad or mom, though it's more over their work than anything.

Bernard Taylor has absolutely no idea what he wants to do with his life, and works as a preschool dance teacher at the library. He also volunteers for arts and crafts classes. A huge lover of kids, and little kids adore his cheeky personality and his creative problem solving solutions. distraction and dancing, mostly. He's been dating Selena Bulkmeier-Skullovitch for two years, only recently found out Selena was Rita and Zedd's daughter. Upset she didn't tell him sooner, though can't argue he probably would not have taken this revelation well, and it's not like it matters. She was raised by Bulk and Skull, right? He's a bit corny in his romance, and is hoping if she is secretly evil, every time he makes her laugh it's another way to convince her not to follow in her biological parents' footsteps

Melissa (last name unknown);

Zack and Kim were the two who encouraged Melissa to join a disability inclusive dance class, and while it didn't click at first, Zack was the most delighted when she got the hang of the dancing. She told Zack she knew he was the black ranger, and managed to stick close enough by in school and in general people thought they were dating. It was easy to play along, and she was able to act as a great lookout. They have one daughter, Lila Taylor. Aged sixteen.

Lila is not deaf, and she's blunt and strong willed. People tend to underestimate her, and she's fairly quick to correct them. Some people think she's too strong willed, she thinks she's as loud as she needs to be. Lila is a dance teacher and volunteers at the library. She wants to go into library sciences, and is considering perhaps working at the Library of Congress. It's very difficult to get the position, but Lila is willing. She loves music, she loves dancing, and she loves knowledge. Everyone deserves it. not associated with a Color.

Violet Arias;

Zack and Violet are a lot like the sun and moon or moon and sea; there's an equal push and pull with them that can't be ignored. High school sweethearts in the greatest sense, though things hit a rocky patch when she figured out he was a power ranger-not that he'd made it particularly hard. They got engaged when he wrote her a poem cipher asking her to marry him. With help from Billy, of course. The two run a music shop together, with Violet running the area that has the retro music devices and Zack in charge of the CD's and vinyls. Violet and Zack have twins, Elodie and Mona, aged 16.

Elodie is very mellow, and smart. She's curious about a lot of things, and enjoys music based philosophy. Wants to be a song writer, wants to write music for bands from the other side of the galaxy. Just because it'd be a fun, cool challenge. Relatively popular, very forgiving, but not stupid. She's got her limits. Has opinions on a variety of subjects but it's extremely weird what things she's got an enyclopedic knowledge of and what she doesn't. She's often hyped and made brave by her sister, who is the opposite of her in every way. not associated with a color

Mona is going to be a music based power ranger, she is going to be a green ranger. And she is everything her parents and Elodie are not. Brash, loud, vengeful, crass, wild, but her sister keeps her calm and she in turn boosts her sister and gets her able to do things. Mona's somehow managed to be the most popular girl at school, but more than a few people are hoping for the day when this hot headed queen bee gets her comeuppance and gets knocked down a couple pegs.

Trini Kwan;

They started dating in space, and it was nice. When Trini became red, it got more serious, and being with each other was always so safe, emotionally. They don’t spent a lot of time on earth, but they do have two kids. The two don’t see their kids much, Jethro, age 16 and Avery, age 15 are on earth and do school on earth. They see their parents on holidays when they can, but mostly live with Kim. They have very distant relationships with their parents, even if they wish their parents would retire. They partially retired until both of them were in Junior High, which makes it extra tough. It feels a little like an abandonment, even if it isn’t.

Jethro is not really open to his parents, and has a better relationship with Kim. He wants to be a DJ, and does DJ’ing stuff for school dances and parties. Annoyed by his parents, has a ton of friends, prefers his friends. He likes Kim just fine, and everyone else. He just thinks his parents are using their duties as an excuse to get out of raising their kids. Jethro tries to avoid talking about his parents and what they do. He’s got his own things to do, they have theirs.

Avery loves her parents. She misses them dearly and wants them to come home. She’s become a bit of a people pleaser, swallowing down anxiety or unhappiness so nobody worries. She worries about them, a lot, and wishes they’d just stay home with their kids, who love them. While she doesn’t get why her parents are always in space, she knows they are doing important work saving people, and thus, tries to be understanding and patient and not worry anyone. Not associated with a color.

Kimberly Hart;

Tommy had a lot going on, and Kim realized she couldn't keep spending all her energy on him if he wasn't going to notice she cared. They went into a close friendship, and Kim and Zack stumbled very gradually from close friends to dating to married. Kim's a famous singer now, and Zack helps her make her music. Their dynamic duo for creativity continues evolving their music. They also employ animators for all their music videos. They have one son, aged sixteen. Joshua Taylor-Hart

Joshua's tone deaf, but loves playing violin. He has great technical skill, though struggles with the frustration that with being tone deaf, the six sounds most people can hear that would allow him to elevate his music are deeply absent. He likes his music, he loves music. It's hard not to be jealous of his parents, though, sometimes. Dancing's easier, so's cross country running. He's a hard worker, he's smart, and he's used to looking at things outside the box. Is not associated with a color.

Matthew Cook;

During everything Zack and Matt were friends with benefits, though Matt tended to use Zack as an emotional scapegoat as well. Zack finally had enough after a bit, and told Matt either he got his head out of his ass or they weren’t continuing. He was serious, too, and Matt got left in the lurch for a little while before actually looking at himself long and hard and deciding whether or not his grudge was worth losing Zack again. It wasn’t. His parents loved Zack, Kira loved Zack, and most importantly he loved Zack. He came out to his parents and family, and then put in the effort to get over himself to get Zack back. One daughter by surrogate parent, and Matt owes Kim big time. She’s made it clear though. This was for Zack. He gets this, and accepts he and Kim are probably never even going to be friends. His and Zack’s daughter is Layla Cook-Taylor. Layla is sixteen, tiny firecracker of positivity. She has her low moments, but she’s never down for long. She likes swimming and playing guitar. She dances with Zack in dance classes and Matt adores her so so much. She’s frank and earnest and tries her best. She doesn’t give up easily if ever. White ranger. Saba loves her, too. Yes Matt has gotten in arguments with the uppity dagger why do you ask?

Jason Lee Scott;

There really wasn't anyone else, honestly. They got each other. Blue and red is fine, and red and pink, but red and black? when it works it works and honestly they work. For obvious reasons, while they started dating in space, they didn't make it public when they came back to earth until Jason's dad died. At that point, there was nothing holding them back, and Zack understood the reason Jason waited. There was never going to be a relationship with his dad if he came out, and he was the sole caretaker. He had a responsibility. Zack respected that.

They have two kids, by surrogate. Kristen of the dark rangers, actually, offered. They didn't talk to the five much, but knew them well enough, after everything. When she offered it was actually a surprise, but they were willing if she was. When they decided they wanted a second kid, she was still willing. They're half siblings. Cleo, aged 24, is Jason and Kristen's daughter. Valeria, aged 18, is Kristen and Zack's daughter. Through this they became better friends with Kristen as well and that was really nice, especially for Kristen.

Cleo's more dramatic and adventurous than her younger sister. She will try anything once, do anything once. The whole world's a stage and she's one of the leads. Not afraid to take life by the horns and ride for all it's worth. A little bit of a mean girl, especially to anyone who dares hurt her sister or sister's friends. Was a queen bee in high school. She designs outfits for athletes. Sportswear is a passion of hers. How to make it fashionable and nice to work out in. Everyone deserves to look their best. She, herself, has an almost boho goth mix as a style. it was a mistake to let her watch incredibles; Edna Mode is her hero and role model. is not associated with a color. However, she'd be Fuchsia if she did. Unusual, and wouldn't have it any other way.

Valeria is 18 and in awe of her family and their legacies. She feels like she won't be able to be able to match any of them, but is trying not to let that bother her. She's captain of a breakdancing team, and mixes it with hard shoe Irish step-dance, which she's been taking classes for since she was four. It's something new, something fun, something her, and while she doesn't see the value in it, Zack and Jason do. Cleo's first experimental skort (skirt/short combo) was for Valeria to better be able to mix both dance styles. It's sometimes difficult for the sisters to talk to each other or show affection, but when they do its usually through things made for the other for their hobbies. Valeria also likes doing basic build type things, such as building sewing machines or computers. She only does this for family, but Cleo loves the custom machine she got. So does uncle Adam.

Currently working at a pizzeria, the tips are good and she likes being able to think while in high stress situations. It's where she thrives. Valeria is not associated with a color. however if she was, it'd be coral or black.

Tommy Oliver;

Tommy is an airhead, and very hard to convince he’s being flirted with. Kimberly, for months, tried to flirt with her new teammate, and eventually moved on because it just didn’t connect in Tommy’s head. He misunderstood Zack trying to explain it to him as Zack flirting, which made a little bit of a mess, but once it was sorted out Kimberly was dating someone else, and Tommy and Zack realized they did like each other. So they started dating, although there was some hurt feelings between themselves and Kim for a long while. Unfortunately, shortly after they successfully adopted a four year old, Tommy disappeared.

Eighteen years later, Landon Taylor works at Promethea as a systems programmer intern. It’s the closest to Tommy and Zack’s old work that Landon can get. Zack doesn’t want him any closer, and Billy, now CEO of Promethea, takes care of his old friends’ son. Landon admires Promethea and power rangers immensely. He wants to help them by any means he possibly can, and he does so to the best of his ability.

Nothing has come of years of searching for Tommy, and vice president Zack Taylor has proposed several amendments to help protect the teenagers that become rangers. He knows better than to make it illegal for teens and young adults to be rangers like some propose, but he also knows there needs to be suitable protective safety nets just in case. He’s proud of Landon, who’s helping program these safety nets, and he’s proud of the current rangers.

Billy Cranston;

They adopted Minh together basically. But in an alternate reality they got married and have two adopted kids, Harlow, aged 19, Selena, aged 17, and one kid by surrogate, Dylan, aged 9.

Harlow was adopted by Zack and Billy when he was seven, and is the first kid they adopted. He and the senator bonded over a shared love of music, and breakdancing. He bonded with Billy a little bit later over Billy mentioning that like Harlow, he used to have a fear of fish and water, and it was fine feeling irrational fear. Harlow tries really hard to make both his dads proud. He's got a lot of pressure he puts on himself. He's a perfectionist. Everything has to be perfect all the time. Billy's the first to try to get him to see the beauty in sometimes things just...not...being...perfect, and it's okay if he's not immediately good at things. Tommy Oliver is his favorite honorary uncle, and is a huge help with how he feels and living in a family. Is the blue ranger, alongside Selena, who is the orange ranger (there is no pink on their team).

Dylan was born a couple years before Selena was adopted. rambunctious kid. Gives his dads a heart attack all the time. His mom was Aisha, and his dad was Billy. There were long talks about it, but it was actually decided by a coin flip because Aisha could see they were psyching themselves out, and were going to talk themselves out of a choice they very much wanted. So she took charge for them. They love Dylan, and Dylan loves his dads, and his brother, and his sister. He likes music and playing pirates. He's one of the smartest kids in his grade school class, but Billy and Zack want him to make friends, so he's not allowed to jump a year. He does get supplemental lessons by both of them, though, so he doesn't stop being curious. Not associated with a color.

Selena has a lot of self doubt about being in this family, and doesn't get why Billy and Zack keep going to bat for her. They go to bat for her because they see in her a lot of themselves, and a lot of Tommy. She's a cheerleader at their school, and does baby sitting as a side job. She struggles to feel worthy of being the orange ranger, but she likes her new brothers, and she likes her dads, and she likes being able to show some of how grateful she feels back to them.

In a small variation, Minh would come live with all three of them as their sister and yellow ranger.

Farkas Bulkmeier;

Zack realized he was crushing on Bulk when Bulk explained his plan to be homecoming king. Zack loved his tenacity and how genuinely excited Bulk actually was over this. Overhearing Marleau’s threat and Bulk backing down, Zack backed him, and got the rest of the rangers and their dates to back him, because Marleau might think she rules the school but she really didn’t.

He completely fell in love with him seeing him crowned homecoming king. However nothing happened in school, and they fell out of touch for several years. Later, they met again when Zack went to a bar with friends, and found the bartender and owner was a familiar face. Farkas was happy to see him, and Zack was extremely happy to see him. He stayed over that night, and then never left. They work well together and have two kids via genetic splicing courtesy of Billy and Aquitar technology. Brianna, aged thirteen, and Devin, aged ten.

Brianna goes to dance classes twice a week, is as friendly and strong in her sense of Justice as her dad Zack was when he was a teenager. He is so proud of her. Her sense of Justice is perhaps a little too strong, and Zack is watching his thirteen year old like a hawk. Power rangering is fine, but he is not letting his baby girl do it before she’s sixteen. Out of personal experience. She often has a group of kids around her, as a sort of social butterfly nexus; and their house is apparently the “safe house”. Polite, energetic, friendly, everyone’s her friend and she’s everyone else’s friend. Bulk and Zack have had to tell her more than once she needs to know her limits. Not associated with a color; but she’ll be silver the second she’s old enough.

Devin wants to go to Mirinoi when he’s grown up and explore everything there. He likes being everywhere, and doing things with his dads. Happy learning how to bake and cook, is fascinated by sewing and Bulk’s hand sewn jackets. Interested in his sister’s dance recital outfits and often borrows them to study. Bulk’s happy to help him in all his interests. Not associated with a color, but he’d be pink if old enough and chosen.

Eugene Skullovitch;

Zack's always tried to give Bulk and Skull the benefit of the doubt and never felt any true antagonistic feelings to them. Annoyance sure, but he doesn't hate them. Eugene took a while to warm up to Zack though, because nice doesn't mean trustworthy, and the two eventually started dating when Eugene realized no, Zack really is just that sweet. They run an ice cream parlor together and have two adopted kids. Achibald "Archie" Taylor and Marigold "Mari" Taylor.

Archie was adopted in his teens, and while this means he doesn't get to have as much time growing up with Zack and Skull as his dads, he's got the rest of his life with them as his parents, and that's the best thing he's ever heard. He was adopted out of the foster care system at thirteen, and is nineteen. He loves botany and magic tricks. Being a stage magician or professional botanist would be really really cool. He doesn't play piano or dance but he loves watching Zack and loves listening to Eugene practice at night. Is unsure what he wants to do with his life, but inheriting the ice cream parlor would be nice, if the botany or the stage magician thing doesn't work out. is not associated with a color.

Mari was adopted last year. She's fourteen and getting used to living with her brother and her dads. They're kinda weird, but she likes them. It is weird going to a new school in a new town, with a new last name. She doesn't really know what she likes, she's still figuring it out, but she knows she likes it here and that's good enough. She does miss her old friends and home a little, but she is making new friends. Zack and Eugene give her space and understanding, and Archie's been great with advice and settling in. not associated with a color.

Richie (last name unknown);

Richie was Zack's best friend, and while Zack was at first really interested in Trini, and then in Tommy, he and Zack eventually fell into a natural relationship. It was as simple as anything for them. It is a source of curiosity for when they actually started dating, it was so gradual. Even they aren't really sure. Tommy was chosen to go to the peace convention instead of Zack, and this certainly helped the budding relationship, especially when Tommy gave Richie Saba. Richie was a great ranger, and it was nice for Zack having him with him in battle. They flowed so naturally. While they've never gotten married, everyone agrees they're basically as good as. They've adopted two kids, and have a magic baby Zedd made, a clone that through the bumbling of Goldar and Squatt, was a perfect mix of both of them. They managed to get this teenager reverted to a child, and were just glad this happened in their 20's and not their teens. Their kids are Keller, aged 29, Coda, aged 17, and Ethel, aged 15.

Keller, while intended to be Richie's evil clone, ended up being a child when the dna of Zack and Richie got mixed. How it happened they're not entirely sure, just that Squatt was involved. He's certainly an odd mix of the two, but with their more negative traits more prominent. However, despite this, he was given help and support and love to be able to have a chance at a normal life. Richie named Squatt as his godfather as a joke, but when Squatt heard he took the position extremely seriously and reformed for Keller. Squatt’s been almost more helpful with raising someone like Keller, and Richie and Zack were definitely grateful for the help. He's currently going to school to be a councilor, with monster and power ranger related trauma as his primary focus. There's certainly a lot of people who would benefit from a therapist like him. He's definitely the oldest sibling with the personality and self expectations that entails, and is used to picking the younger two up and out of bad situations at the drop of a hat. not associated with a color though if he was it'd likely be white or pink

Coda's working at the juice bar, mainly saving up for a proper car instead of borrowing the family car whenever he needs to be somewhere. He likes living with his dads and siblings, and thinks Keller's one of the more interesting people to come out of power ranger stuff. Coda wants to be a journalist, and is interested in interviewing Colors themselves. Though only Saba has ever talked to him, and when he did Coda didn't learn much. He wants to be a power ranger specifically to get an interview with his color. A strange motivation, but it will pay off. He will eventually be a silver ranger.

Ethel's not very outgoing, and is extremely shy. She is actually Billy's daughter, but Billy and his partner died when she was very small, and Zack of course adopted her without a second thought. He blames himself for Billy's death and does his best to make it up to Ethel every day. She's shy, quiet, and rather small for her age. Thankfully she's not the target of bullies and is on the school's robotics team. Richie and Zack do worry for her, but she seems to be doing ok. she will be on a team with Coda in a few years as the blue ranger.

Justin (last name unknown);

Justin was the red ranger leader of the Dark team, and Jason's more dark counterpart. Zack didn't really like Jason at first, but he did respect his devotion to his friends. They were dark mirrors for a reason, after all. Once they saved them, Justin and Zack had several classes together and just got close from revolving each other's orbit for so long. Justin got a job as a janitor, Zack as a gym teacher, and they had one kid via a surrogate. Patricia, aged 11.

Patricia is into the concept of vaulting, and likes sports. Serious, dramatic, a huge collector of beetleborgs, and a fan of action movies. She's got a lot of energy, has decided she doesn't like the taste of meat and gone vegan (which has if anything given her even more strength boost). She knows her own mind and her own heart. Her loyalty is rock solid and so is her stubborness. not associated with a color though if she was it'd be violet.

Tina (last name unknown);

Zack was a candidate for the Dragon Coin, and while it was close; he won. Essentially, he and Tommy swapped places. He became Rita's champion, and Tommy took on mighty morphin Black. The whole team tried, but couldn't break Rita's hold on Zack. However; Zack didn't have loyalty to Rita, and when Zedd showed up Zack swapped sides. When he kept losing to the good rangers and later to their sixth, the white ranger Richie, Zack convinced Zedd he needed a team to help him. So, Zedd created the Dark Rangers out of the new group of bullies that had just showed up at the school. Zack settling in nicely as their sixth. Before he'd gone bad he'd been close to Trini, and when he met Tina they hit it off quickly. Together the Dark Team forced the mighty morphin group underground. Zack and Tina have been off and on for several years at this point, and they have a daughter. Suki, aged eleven.

Suki is a belligerant though intelligent child. If you tell her the sky is blue she'll say the sky is gold. Rita and Zedd made good with each other, and Selena is practically an older sister to Suki. They're basically villainous comedic duo, with the added problem of Suki and Selena being perfectly willing to pose as Trini's daughters for the sole purpose of drawing out the hidden mighty morphin. Thrax is actually on the ranger's side, here, a forgotten little brother of Selena and trying very hard to reign in his sister and the little girl who idolizes her. Suki wants to be just like her parents, and her parents are villains. But, she is eleven. Olivia, current mighty morphin black, is trying to gently convince Selena and Suki to go against their parents. It's been slow going. There's time, it's just frustrating.

Marleau Eskin;

Zack was the only one that ever managed to get through to Marleau, for any reason. He was nice, but nice has it's limits and sometimes the nicest thing you can do is just be a little mean. He made her question herself, got her tongue tied, self conscious, and suddenly she was chasing after him, in a completely different manner than she'd ever expressed interest in anyone before. They went to a dance school together, after high school, by complete coincidence. He for contemporary dance, her for classical. She avoided him for a year just because she didn't know what to do with how he made her feel. They finally got stuck in a class as partners for a project together and had a very long conversation about many things, past and present and beyond. Things progressed got serious, and she got pregnant. Her parents had hoped she'd marry someone better than a professional dance choreographer for hollywood musicals, and disinherited her when she eloped. She runs a dance studio and he works for mucical movies as a dance choreographer. They have one daughter, Priscilla, aged 14.

She has two left feet, which is a running joke in the family. Instead she's kind of a brilliant budding politician. When she's old enough she wants to run for class president. Very friendly, very good at problem solving and defusing situations, she's popular and open minded. She wants to be the youngest governor in their state, and she's got the temerity to actually make it happen.

[edutainer2022]

@thedryswan Thank you for the headcanons tag!

I'm gonna cheat a little and repurpose the big Scott headcanon post I put together a while ago. But these are quite hard h/c I swear by and revisit in my stories.

CW: we're talking about Scott, so there are LOTS of heavy themes and topics mentioned, angst and death. My mind goes dark places with him. Tread with caution.

✅ A canon or headcanon hill I will die on.

I'll do several, because I can.

Scott has a suicidal ideation/death wish. As in, he genuinely thinks he needs to die in sacrifice- the way Dad did. He doesn't actively seek it, but has sort of internalized that as an inevitable fate, because that's the least he can do against the magnitude of Dad's sacrifice.

He blames himself for Dad's death (canon text).

Excelled in academia. A prom king, President of the class, sports team captain and a valedictorian both in high school and college.

Scott is 29-ish (under 30) by the end of Season 3. I WILL die on that hill. Symbolically, that means Dad's disappearance spearheaded him into "legal, albeit too young" adulthood, and Dad's recovery ("saving father from the abyss") heralded transition into "full manhood".

Scott will loose a son some time down the line - IR equipment gone wrong, a rescue,  combat etc. (narrative symmetry is a ruthless thing). Sorry. I mulled it over every which way. A lost significant other is a gestalt already closed by Dad Tracy. And in a timeline that is not an incandescent wish-fulfillment HEA, it would unfortunately fall to Scott to experience what his father happily dodged - a son so adamant to follow in his Hero's footsteps, and a father so encouraging and approving of that - he'll pay the ultimate price.

Scott is not close to Grandma (mainly because Scott was close to Mom, aka the woman who took over as #1 in Jeff's life, later Scott is a living, breathing reminder that Jeff is gone, and is a mirror and foil to Jeff's shortcomings).

Scott can play the piano (Mom totally taught him first, having big hopes for those long, long fingers), but he never applied himself to practice the skill, like Virgil did. They can play duet on a very rare, precious occasion, when the mood is right.

Scott is more than a decent dancer - cowboy line and square dancing, but also waltz and tango. It was a Mom thing, originally, the prep for a middle school Formal or something. He later practiced with John, who was too shy to take dance classes. While we are at it - my hard headcanon is that, for all that he's Dad's replica and seeks Dad's approval like air, Scott was close to Mom, her White Knight, and takes after her a lot in mannerisms and character (it's maybe more obvious to the adults in their lives, as the boys' memories of Mom are hazy with every passing year).

✅ Dumbest thing they’ve ever done.

Got engaged or eloped, even, back in Flight School, to a fellow cadet. His trusted second in an air group and a wingman. Of course they usually got suggestions to "get a room" after flight exercises. At some point they did. Both stupidly young, of course. Scott asked Dad for Mom's engagement ring and withstood Dad's stern questioning stare with a defiant stance that "when you know - you know". Dad had little to object to that, but had his reservations. For one, it was against regulations - Scott was CAG (captain of air group), ergo, within direct chain of command. For two - Jeff already had plans of the Tracy Island and IR well underway. Scott was completely game and ready to join Dad, he believed in IR and Dad's dreams since day 1, since TV-21. Of course, in his idealistic mind the Love of His Life was to join them - an exceptional pilot she'd be a great asset to IR team, they worked seamlessly together. It'd be great! Bereznik recon was to be among Scott's last assignments. Only the fiancée didn't exactly subscribe to idyllic dreams of "getting kittens off trees under Daddy's watchful eye" - she thought they were to share a life of service, career soldiers and fighters, test pilots, command material. She thought Scott was betraying that shared dream in favor of indulging Dad yanking his leash. Mom's ring was returned. The breakup was so earthshattering that it may or may not have made Scott loose focus for a second, while flying over hostile territory. It only took a second... The brothers never knew of that whole relationship and situation, only Dad. And maybe Kyrano. I have a whole fic idea about the ring being first taken off Scott, together with dogtags, in interrogation, then retrieved.

✅ Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves.

These are things and thoughts Scott hates himself for territory - so, certainly, they would come across as jarring (and vastly untrue) to anyone, who actually knows Scott. I'll do several, because why limit ourselves in ways Scotty's mind would torment him.

Scott has taken a life or lives. Not just by proxy, as in people they couldn't save (Dad being first in line in his mind). And not just in combat/self defense. I think Scott has eased someone's suffering at some point and provided assisted suicide (a fellow POW in Bereznik, a rescuee). It's a whole different pit of hell that haunts him. I'd say Scott also has a DNR and maybe, that one time after a dark day and one too many helpings of scotch he asked either Virgil or John to do the same for him - to mercy kill. Virgil is horrified (Scott's DNR gets ignored on multiple occasions not for nothing), but John promises he'd do it. They all pretend that conversation never happened later.

On very, very bad days that happen more often after SOS, Scott kinda wishes they never found Dad's signal. Dad's signal means not only did he fail to save him, but he failed to search hard enough afterwards and settled into just living on. Scott is also not fooling himself- Dad's signal may mean there's no Dad alive anymore on the other side after eight years in outer space - which means loosing Dad all over again and watching the brothers and Grandma loose Dad all over again. Unthinkable. Unbearable. His fault.

Dad's return is not all unicorns and soothing rainbows. Well, it is - for everyone else. His brothers got Dad back, Grandma got her son back, Lee, Casey, Lord Hugh, Brains and Kyrano got their friend back, Tracy Industries got their CEO back, IR got the Commander back, the world got Jeff Tracy back. Which is all to exemplify how much Scott has been a placeholder in everyone's eyes. The brothers and Kayo can talk Dad's ear off a mile a minute about their pursuits and accomplishments, but Scott hasn't got much to show for it. He's only ever been doing... this "being Jeff Tracy" thing for the past eight years, trying to keep his head above water. He missed Dad to the point of wanting to die - but Dad is not back, advising him how to run the show and being there for him, he's back to pick up where he left off.  Alan and Kayo are even trained enough to fly One now. Why would anyone need Scott anymore? (This DOES NOT lead to any good places or conclusions. Scott's undercurrent fear is to see disappointment and disapproval in Dad's eyes, once the euphoria settles down  and he starts to delve into reports how Scott handled things).

Berezniki guards drilled into him that by the time they're done - noone would want what's left of Scott, broken and damaged beyond repair, and Scott is unsure he still doesn't believe them.

Scott doesn't actively want kids of his own. He loves his brothers beyond anything and Alan is his son in all ways that count. But he can't in good conscience pursue to bring a life into the world and then let it suffer the loss, like he did - Scott doesn't  exactly envision a happily ever after timeframe for himself, where he gets to grow old and be there for the kid(s). Nor does he envision a timeframe where he's loved and seen by someone to want to eventually stick around and raise a family. (Let's not forget these are dark, secret assumptions, and Scott is, obviously, way off the mark in them).

[owmylasagna-blog]

In the time I was away from eds stuff I latched onto a new bit of media called Dimension 20: Fantasy High. It’s a DnD series played by comedians and DMd by Brennan Lee Mulligan because yes I am also that kind of nerd. But I couldn’t help but create crossovers in my mind because that's what my mind likes to do so… Yeah. Major spoilers for D20 below duh in case anyone cares:

For context, Fantasy High as a series is if you took a DnD campaign and had it directed by John Hughes. It follows 6 party members who are high school students at an adventuring academy casually saving the world, trying to pass classes, and dealing with messy family drama, dating, and popularity. No biggy.

Ed is so so Gorgug Thistlespring. Or should I say Gorgug is Ed if he was a half-orc adopted by delightful tinkering gnomes. While he starts out as a berserker barbarian, smashing recklessly and raging through battles, his determination to help his friends leads him to become a proficient tinkerer. In the latest seasons he multiclasses with artificer (I have such a soft spot for the artificer class you don't even know!). His character is not meant to be especially bright but Zach who plays him is incredibly perceptive and good at reading the DM that multiple times he is the one to solve mysteries in off-handed comments way before anyone else figures it out. He’s tall, clumsy, easily confused, a -1 to intelligence. He has size 18 shoes. His plot in the most recent season was literally about him pushing against peoples’ expectations of him, his teachers not believing in his potential to succeed. He delightfully and sometimes ragefully proves otherwise. Gorgug rocks.

Eddy and Edd were a little harder to pin down as well as Ed but I’d say Edd’s closest comparison would be Adaine and Eddy is maybe Fabian.

Adaine is a high-elf wizard with literally the worst family ever. They suck so much. Luckily she finds a new family in her friends and her former guidance counselor turned adoptive father werewolf Jawbone. She has an anxiety disorder that gives her panic attacks. She has an emotional support familiar that is the roundest frog ever. She’s a perfectionist that fears loss of control and worries that her anxiety prevents her from acting when it matters most. The reason she even meets the rest of her party is because she failed the entrance exam to the fancy wizarding school and she, her parents, and her older sister won’t let her forget it. Adaine is equal parts smarts and headstrong: despite being a talented wizard and an oracle, in the heat of the moment she will resort to punching madly rather than use her divination magic. One of her wizard friends makes her a giant arcane fist spell that she uses to punch her dad dead. In return she gifts the friend a Comprehend Subtext spell which is the fucking best.

Fabian starts out as a pompous rich jock type half-elf. He’s on his high horse as he rides the coattails of his infamous pirate father Bill Seacaster. A talented, athletic, agile, strong fighter. Master of posturing and peacocking, his pride and brash confidence are the outer shell for a deep insecurity that he can never live up to his father’s legacy and expectations. This very hubris nearly gets him killed in the second season. He gets so physically and mentally defeated from this that he DELEVELS. Broken, Fabian spends the rest of the season fighting a debilitating depression, rebuilding himself, eventually connecting to his elven roots and embracing dance. His fighting style changes from then on to some flashy form of rhythmic gymnastics bard. Toxic masculinity be damned, he’s a dancer. Season 3 he is still struggling with the need for acceptance and the pressure for greatness, obsessed with being a “maximum legend”. Oh and he falls in love with a magical mirror reflection of himself. Like, come on.

[inkabelledesigns]

📚 for Auran, Loraine, Manny and any other character of your choosing from your nutcracker stuff, go ham my guy

📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Okay, so this is a tough one. All three of these characters are dolls and wouldn't have had access to a formal general education like you and I do. Or at least, I haven't developed what that looks like in this world. Like, obviously all of them would need to learn math, they use math every day for stuff like sewing, counting beats, battle strategy, measuring out magic dust for combinations, calculating travel distances, etc. But where did they learn it? As young dolls, did they have school, were they required to go through some basic training to be well rounded? Or is that just magicked into them from the start? Can you even do that?

I think Captain Dieter would be really impatient with the guard and have them go through maybe an intense month of schooling that covers most things (probably skimps on anything regarding literary analysis, can't have too many thinkers to challenge him, which feels horrible when I say that out loud). The royal guard likely has up to a basic high school level education, but it's a touch incomplete. This is what Auran would start out with before transferring to the ballet.

Odette and Siegfried by contrast would be very thoughtful about schooling their dancers, there's probably a great deal of lessons in typical subjects besides what they need to learn for ballet. I can imagine there's an emphasis on history given that's really important to them, but there's also a lot on language arts. If any of the dolls of my world could speak a different language or have a vast understanding of English, it would be the ones at the ballet, given music has a myriad of terms that derive from French and Italian. I think they'd also encourage exploration into other subjects. Loraine takes an interest in studying magic and science, and it's ultimately what lands her in her position of studying magic dust to understand its intricate properties. Auran by contrast has more of a focus on ballet and music, but as a side hobby, he enjoys books on gardening and learns a lot from those for his small vegetable garden.

Manny....Manny is probably the one who got the shortest end of the stick, but he's probably more educated than both Auran and Loraine, who mind you, are fairly smart. Manny had no education beyond math and textiles, his employer simply didn't value it. So he went to great lengths to homeschool not only himself, but his fellow employees, using tools from Equinox 's rich library system. While his employer was almost quick to forbid it, Manny is incredibly smart and managed to convince them that this was really in their best interest so that their business would be run more competently, and it worked out. Manny manages to get himself through a high school level of education, but he's also got what's effectively a college level education of business, as he was secretly studying to get out of his bad situation. Though one may argue that he also has a strength in street smarts, he knows how to play the game of life. I can imagine he's also taken at least one acting class in his life.

That was a lot for all three and their respective peers. XD I suppose after Captain Dieter is no longer running the guard, there is probably an emphasis on better education and easing the guard into things ala Queen Clara. She would want her soldiers to have those tools after learning Dieter was being deliberately foolish. Especially in making sure they knew their history and had some extracurriculars outside of preparing for battle. This is probably how Minstrel achieves his dream of having a proper band for the guard rather than just playing a war drum.

[emilou-keen-gear]

If you should choose between one ship, Which ship would you make canon between Drake x Your OC and Fenton X Your OC ??

Oh, wow. You practically picked my favorite subject to talk about. I love my OC, and I love the romance she has with both Drake and Fenton. They are both amazing characters, and I enjoy writing both of them. But they are, when it comes to romance, two completely different people.

Fenton and Charity (Fenity) together are a sweet and loving couple, and I can imagine them starting out a little shy around each other. As I've written them, neither Fenton nor Charity have been in a serious relationship. They both have dated in their past, but Fenton was too busy with his education and getting the internship at McDuck Enterprise to have dated. Charity didn't date, not from choice, but because she didn't want anyone else involved in her family's curse. Her mother also kept her away from the world with small, controling rules, and Charity sort of just complied because it made sense.

I can imagine Charity and Fenton learning together about what love and romance is, and learning about each other. Charity gets Fenton to open up about small and simple pleasures and to have fun, and Fenton shares the world as he sees it, both the scientific side and the heroic aspect of his world. Music is a big factor in their relationship. Not only is Charity talented in singing, but (my headcannon) Fenton's family has a lot of dancers, musicians and singers, so he always grew up learning to do all of these things. He's a great dancer and can play the guitar, so he takes Charity dancing frequently.

Their biggest trouble comes from that in the beginning, Fenton's lack of confidence often makes him feel inadequate to date Charity. He feels that someone as beautiful as her would have chosen him (he doesn't know how adorkable he is) and his lack of confidence sometimes gets in his way. As for Charity, she often wonders if Fenton would eventually get board of her. He is a brilliant scientist and inventor (not to mention, he's Gizmoduck), but she's a twenty-five-year-old woman who lives with her parents, hasn't held a job, and only has a high school diploma. However, when she gets depressed, she can easily bolster up her confidence and work toward changing her situation. And when Fenton brings his concerns to her, she is more than willing to sing his praises and tell him how lucky she is to be his girlfriend.

Drake, on the other hand, is experienced in the romance departmen, having had multiple girlfriends in his past. He is very confident and knows he is good-looking. He is not a playboy, but he does have an ego. Charity is confident in herself as well, but her lack of experience in romance often has her second-guessing her actions with Drake. She also is a bit intimidated by dating him, more because she wants to take things slow and is worried that he wants to go faster.

But once they get things figured out, they tend to be in sinc with a lot of things. They are both passionate people when it comes to their morals, their work and their friends/close family. They both have their hang-ups, but they always come through with each other.

When it comes to Darkwing Duck, Charity has patience and understanding to Drake's situation. She has watched the old Darkwing Duck show, and has prior knowledge that Drake could be called on a moment's notice and the danger he would put himself through. She understands that she'll be stood-up for dates and events, she understands that she may stay up many nights, worrying over him (and Launchpad and Gosalyn, of course), and she knows that Drake must be Darkwing Duck. There is no changing that. However, sometimes she might resent it, but she understands.

But which one would I choose to have be made into Canon? Well...that is a complicated question. Mostly it's because I've never considered Charity's story (Twisted Strings of Fate) to ever be canon. It's not really a big desire for me to make it canon. I liked the show how it is, and I wished that it could have gone for season 4 (or have a Darkwing Duck reboot based off of it), but I'm not hung up on the fact that things are as it is.

But if I got to chose, like Disney came to me and said I was able to do either DT season 4 or a DWD reboot and that Charity would be a main character, I probably would choose the DWD reboot. I didn't much care for Gandra Dee at first (but she's slowly growing on me) and I wouldn't change the FentonXGandra relationship just for my own hubris. So it would be DrakeXCharity (Drakity) as my choice.

[vervainvoyage]

Oof. This event is making me dislike Yoimiya.

I know lots of players like Childe, and you have every right to like whoever you want! This is not about his personality at all. But from the in-game perspective, he's a Fatui Harbringer- of the same Fatui that routinely kidnap children (Dottore's experiments on Collei and the attempted kidnappings of Vimara Village children, to name the in-game cases, and in the manga they also demand a tribute of children to be delivered from Mondstadt). And Yoimiya invites this guy to an outing with children, fully knowing that he's Fatui? Girl. Girl what the fuck. "Ah yes, General McSpy of the Yakuzalike Organisation, I'm sure he's a great babysitter for this school trip"

Traveller tries to warn her and she goes "oh but he was nice once, and hasn't hurt me personally, so clearly it can't be true that the Fatui are so dangerous" GIRL. I SWEAR TO THE ARCHONS.

Soooo yeah I do not have a high opinion of Yoimiya now. Regardless of how interesting a character is from the players' perspective, once you estabilish certain things about them, they have consequences. Childe being a known Fatui operative carries its weight, and when Yoimiya disregards it like that around the children she claims to be caring for, it just shows her in a very bad light. Oh she says "Don't worry I won't let my guard down" - as if she's so certain she can singlehandedly take down a Harbringer. Whatever the gameplay shows, plot-wise a fireworks seller should not be able to last against a Harbringer (because I'm sure someone out there beat Childe's boss fight with only Yoimiya already, but then again according to the game a theatre dancer is a 5star but the Tianquan of Liyue is not, so lets focus on the plot here and not the gameplay). So here's one of the big bosses of an organisation known for using lies, subtrefuge and trickery, who just so happened to save a child from danger... and now the children trust him... what a coincidence?

In conclusion Yoimiya, not knowing Childe well at all, is taking huge risks here that threaten not just her but the kids under her care, and she should never date, since she has too much of an inclination to ignore red flags. And when the Traveller tries to warn her, based on their own experience with Childe, and of how Fatui basically work on false pretenses and trickery, she ignores it.

[asphodelical]

The Great Anime Rewatch of 2024 - Part IV

Lucky Star

First watched: Circa 2008? Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 5 New rating: 5

The weird shit about Lucky Star is that even though the show is essentially about nothing, the episodes go by very quickly for me. (Compared to other slice of life shows in this rewatch round that were mind numbingly slow, but actually had a plot, or something resembling a story arc: Aoi Hana, Aria, and Kimi ni Todoke.) Its quick switching between scenes due to its nature as a 4-koma adaptation is actually doing wonders for my shitty attention span. With that said, it was wearing out its welcome very quickly, and motivation to watch more was low. The second half starts focusing on the expanded cast that I don’t give a shit about, and I don’t think other fans do either. Lucky Star is definitely not a show to be binged, and I also don’t see myself revisiting it again. 

__________________________________

Blood Blockade Battlefront 1 & 2

First watched: Fall 2015, Fall 2017, original airdates Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 7, 7 New rating: 4, 6

I’ve been on a weird streak of watching anime featuring blonde twins: Migi & Dali, Trigun Stampede, and now BBB. As soon as I started watching, I remembered the original story was written by the same author as Trigun. Rewatching Trigun did not go well for me. But wait! Matsumoto Rie directed the first season. Maybe this won’t be so bad. 

First off, I’m not wild about the art style—specifically the way people are drawn. There are stunning visuals elsewhere: the not-chess match in episode three, the giant tree train station, etc. The ending sequence is fun and joyous. BBB’s tone reminds me more of Baccano or Space Dandy than Trigun, which is definitely a good thing. What I don’t think is a good thing is how BBB starts with a large cast, and primarily focuses on what they can do, rather than who they are. The problem is exacerbated as new characters are introduced every episode. Space Dandy was similar, but that show did a much better job of establishing its core cast. Then the story shifted to anime original material which was so poorly done and…maybe Matsumoto Rie isn’t as good of a director as I once thought. (Although I do love King of Despair, he just wasn’t in the right anime.)

The second season’s change in director was noticeable immediately. The first thing that felt different was the music—we started off with a rap song. The visuals also look cleaner. And, oh? What’s this? We’re finally spending time on the Libra members? I’m finally getting a feel for who they are as people now? Amazing. This is what I was looking for last season. But of course, I’m impossible to please, whatever. And now my problem is that the entire season is episodic, and no overarching goal for the heroes to be working towards. The seasons should’ve aired in reverse: season one should’ve been character-centric episodic, and give an overarching story to season two. There were some fun moments, but BBB just didn’t do it for me the second time around. 

__________________________________

Rideback

First watched: June 2011 Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 7 New rating: 4

Here’s an anime no one else remembers. Taking place in the year 2025, and with the original story starting publication in 2003, it’s interesting to see how people depicted the future without the presence of social media and over-reliance of cell phones. Other than that, there’s not much to say about Rideback. I think the premise of a retired dancer trying to find a new purpose could’ve been really lovely in the hands of a better writer. Too bad the writing and characters are dull, but the mechs themselves are cool. More pirouetting mechs please. Moving on. 

__________________________________

Full Metal Panic! & Fumoffu

First watched: June 2012 Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 8, 8

New rating: 5, 7

This is such an anime anime: teenage mercs piloting mechs, high school romcom, terrorists, man Full Metal Panic! sure does have it all. When I first watched it, I liked it enough to watch the sequel, the comedy spinoff, and the OVAs/specials. There is something about it that is timeless, yet it has aged strangely. The first few episodes in particular were very bad. Barring the lackluster animation, it did get better, or at least more tolerable. I’m thankful that Sosuke’s secret was out to Kaname by episode five. But every time I finished an episode, I asked myself, ‘what actually happened?’ Things are happening, but it never feels like the plot is advancing, or the characters are growing. I lasted twelve episodes. 

Crunchyroll doesn’t have the second season, but it does have Fumoffu. I had a much better time here. Because the jokes are so specific to the characters and the bits actually have a plot, the comedy has aged surprisingly well. 

I didn't realize how big of a franchise Full Metal Panic! actually is until now. With a a ridiculous number of light novels and manga, and anime adaptations as recent as 2018, I can’t fathom this story going on for as long as it has. 

__________________________________

Fruits Basket

First watched: Circa 2006 Rewatched: January 2024

Original rating: 7 New rating: 7

Fruits Basket and I go waaaaaay back. Both the English and Japanese versions, as well as the manga, I couldn’t get enough of this shit when I was in middle school. I’ve been wondering whether to watch the remake for a while now, but wanted to revisit the original first. 

Barring the mispronunciations of the character’s names, the dub's core cast still rocks. I alternated between English and Japanese depending on what characters were present. Also this is funny as hell. 

The main issues I have with this adaptation are: the soundtrack sounds like it only has ten songs, and constantly reuses the same song each episode, the lackluster art style and animation (Deen 2001 at your service), and some of the English voice actors. Aside form that, this story still holds up. And I am more emotionally attached to it than I thought I was going to be. I still like these characters, I still like this story, and I still love that gentle opening song. I had a good time revisiting this. 

Dear fucking god please let the remake still keep the humor. Don’t let it succumb to the melodrama. 

[marjaystuff]

Interview with Terri Parlato

What Waits in The Woods

Detective Rita Myers Book 2

Terri Parlato

Kensington Pub

Dec 26th, 2023

What Waits in The Woods by Terri Parlato has a riveting plot.  Not only does it have a full mystery with many people of interest, but it also explores how an athlete, in this case a dancer, can have their career derailed by an injury.

Esmé Foster forcibly retired from her chosen career as a ballet dancer. Now, eleven years later she returns home to Graybridge.  But her return home is anything but calm, considering it coincides with one of her high school friends, Kara Cunningham, found dead in the woods behind the Fosters’ house. Her crushed skull allows detective Rita Myers to realize it was not an accident, but a murder. 

Now, Esmé’s high school friends, her family, and neighbors are all suspects. To make matters worse the killing has intensified the nightmares Esmé had after her mother was killed in a car accident when she was nine. She remembers a man who showed up at the scene of the car accident and told Esmé he was going to kill her too. Family and friends insist that no man exists and that her memory is faulty. But that never stopped the nightmares or her determination to find the “Phantom” man. 

This story is told in two perspectives which increases the intensity. The neighbors, Mr. York, and the Ridley family, also have reasons to be considered people of interest.  One is a creepy old man, and the family has a drug dealer, a convict who finished serving time, and a sister who has a brain injury from a childhood tumble down a flight of stairs and was suspected of quarreling with her sister and drowning her. 

There are not only multiple suspects but also multiple twists and turns. Readers will be kept guessing as to who the killer is and what was their motive.

Elise Cooper: Why ballet?

Terri Parlato: I had the main character as a professional ballerina, but then her dancing days ended do to an injury.  I explored how does she move forward.  I wanted to give her a professional life and wrote about something I really love.  I vicariously enjoyed ballet and read books about ballerinas.  I went to the ballet whenever I could.  Esmé had to retire at age 27 which is not unusual because they have a short career. Ballet is very hard on the body.

EC: It seems a lot of dancers and sports figures flounder when they must retire-do you agree?

TP:  To be a ballerina and even with sports it is a passion. I wanted to write what happens to that person who devoted their whole life to something and it comes to an end.  How would she handle it?

EC: Esmé and her friends?

TP: They were close friends.  After Esmé graduated from high school she ran away to another state.  Now that she is back home, she wants to reunite with her friends and is devasted that one of them, Kara, was murdered. She feels guilty because she never tried to keep up the friendship and now that Kara is dead, she has no chance of doing it. She had a lot of regrets. All these friends become suspects in Kara’s death.

EC:  How would you describe the victim, Kara?

TP:  Sweet, naïve, trusting, and an addict. Her father left when she was little which made her insecure.

EC:  How about Esmé?

TP:  When she was young, she was selfish.  Her father was an alcoholic which affected her.  But she matures throughout the book. I want my main character to go on a journey, changing for the better. 

EC:  Why different narratives?

TP:  I used to write in third person.  But then I read a book by Mary Kubica that had several points of view.  I thought how it got me into the mind of the character, in first person. It also helps me build suspense as well.

EC: There is a quote in the book by, Esmé describing her family-can you explain?

TP: She felt being home was not great, but it was home sweet home. “There is something deep connecting us to the place where we grew up.  The familiar scenery, smells, memories.  It is a sense of belonging, shared histories…” Looking at my own life, I am very sentimental and nostalgic. Even though everything when I was a child was not necessarily happy, it was still home. I wanted to show how it was bittersweet for Esmé who was gone for eleven years, to now come home. Things might have been sad and scary, but she did find there were good times.

EC:  How would you describe Detective Rita?

TP: This is the second book in the series.  In the first book, All the Dark Places, Rita had another case to solve. I am still flushing out her personality. I wanted to create a detective who was an older woman. She is still vital in her career and is not someone who is pushed to the sidelines.  She is a workaholic that limits her social life.  She is very independent and tough.

EC:  Why the “Sweet Dancer” poem in the beginning of the book?

TP:  I am a former English teacher.  I love poetry.  To me, this sounds so much like Esmé.  It is a poem about ballet, but there is some darkness in it as well. People will have read it before they start the story.  I wanted to bring some artistic sentiment since Esmé is a retired ballerina in an emotional state. I think poetry elicits emotion. 

EC:  Next book?

TP:  Rita will be in the next book.  Same police department, same fictional town. There is no title yet.  It should come out next December.  There will be a compelling case for Rita to solve.  There will be a third point of view. This one does not start with a murder, which is different than the first two books in the series. 

THANK YOU!!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 

Gossip - Thai BL 

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 

Breaking News 

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

 Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.  

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development. 

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina. 

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale. 

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real. 

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life. 

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought  it up once this season. 

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst. 

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off. 

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb. 

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1. 

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series. 

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes. 

Until next season Wildcats

[rinisbowen]

Tim went on the D23 Inside Disney podcast to do press for Better Nate Than Ever and I listened to the whole thing to hear all he said that was at least marginally about HSMTMTS so here goes... (He comes on around 14 minutes into the episode if you want to listen to it yourself.)

Also I listened to it and paused and skipped back a number of times to make sure all my wording is as close to exact as possible. This should all be verbatim. 

--

Interviewer: Speaking of that, it feels like a lot of your projects, and by a lot I mean both High School Musical: The Musical: The Series and Nate, both focus a bit on a chosen family. Can you talk about that a little?

Tim: Yeah, we’re in season 3 of High School Musical and I just observed this really great thing happen which is we have brand new dancers this season because it’s a new season at a summer camp and thus we have new campers. And day 1 the dancers came to set they were kinda quiet, didn’t know what to say, and by the end of the first week they’re like- hugging Joshua Bassett goodbye and they’re all best friends. It’s that thing- it’s that thing that theatre people do and a lot of young people do which is their prejudices are fewer than adults are and they accept each other. They take each other at face value. And so chosen family, for those of us who didn’t always feel welcome in our own families or communities, is a saving grace and I think what a lot of theatre people discover is you might not be popular where you’re from, but if you find your people you can have even more fun at thanksgiving if there’s no uncles or aunts. 

--

Interviewer 2: Okay, let’s switch gears and chat a little bit about High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, we are big fans here. On the pod we’ve had Joshua, Olivia, Frankie, Kate, Dara, Julia, so many. Season 3 is coming up. You mentioned that they’re at summer camp, and they’re gonna be doing Frozen: The Musical, and there are a bunch of new characters. What else can you share?

Tim: Well, season 3 is a real shake up. You know, it’s new characters it’s a new location. I think it’s still got that mockumentary that’s really headlined by Joshua Bassett and Sofia Wylie. So I think it still has the same spirit. But you know it’s funny- it’s funny because I’m realizing that both High School Musical and Better Nate than Ever share a similar spirit which is that like when in doubt, bet on the theatre kids. We are the most resourceful, because we have the fewest resources. You know it’s like we don’t have the like football budget. We don’t have the stadium. Oftentimes the school theater isn’t great. But we have each other and we’ve got our imaginations and imaginations are gonna win out at the end of the day. That’s the Disney core value. When you wish upon a star your dreams come true. My big reveal for season 3 of High School Musical is apparently a Pinocchio lyric.  

[laughter]

Interviewer: I like that. Now if you are comfortable there has been some buzz online about Carlos and Seb not being together. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Tim: I think in many ways this season we lean even deeper into themes of identity, including queer identity. You know, it’s summer camp and so not all of the wildcats are together all summer. The season spans a couple of weeks only this season, it’s very compressed. But Seb and Carlos are still together. 

Interviewer: Good. Thank you. So last we saw, Nini was maybe about to maybe record some music with Jordan Fisher’s character Jamie. Will we explore that?

Tim: Yeah.

[laughter]

Interviewer: Okay, I love that.

Tim: This is your fault. A Disney media trainer told me occasionally you’re supposed to just have one word, this is your fault Jeff. 

Interviewer: I will- I will take that. Also- Miss Jenn was kind of a little more out there than she had been previously. Has Miss Jenn, taken some time for herself?

Tim: And she does some self reflection. 

Interviewer: Yes, I think that was probably...

Tim: I got it. No I got it Jeff. I got it. 

[laughter]

Interviewer: What’s it been like to see all of Olivia’s success by the way? I mean she just completely has you know, on the show and in her, you know she’s got the special coming on Disney+.

Tim: Yeah. It’s the greatest joy of this job. This is how I’ll describe it. When I was a kid in Pittsburgh I remember when I was about Nate’s age I remember saying to my mom, I don’t understand why I don’t like Christmas so much. We get all the gifts. I didn’t get it, like my mom would get like three things and I would get ten. And she said you’ll see some day. And so for me, the joy of creating High School Musical, or directing a movie like Nate... it’s not about seeing my name on screen. It’s about seeing a Rueby Wood step into his power. It’s about seeing an Olivia Rodrigo, who had all of the skill, and all of the inspiration. And as a gate keeper, which I guess I am, trying to lift the gate and just get the hell out of the way. 

[romiantic]

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒕𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒙 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌!𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ࿐ྂ

彡 ❛ 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ❜

彡 𝗳𝘁. ryota kise

彡 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff with very little angst

彡 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

彡 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: suggestive theme at the end

彡 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: all characters are 18+. also can we talk about how BOMB this song is 🤧 y’all sleepin on this song fr

·˚ ༘ੈ✩‧₊˚ ╰┈➤ ❛❛ 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 ❜❜

❝ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐘𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐔𝐏! You have two minutes till showtime.” Your manager, AKA, older brother, barged and announced to you like he didn’t update you almost five minutes ago.

You did your usual of sucking your teeth and rolling your teeth every time he barged in and interrupted your call, you replied with annoyance in your tone, “AJ I know! Can you wait a minute? Damn, so impatient for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry who’s the one with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming their name and waiting for their ass outside? Me or you? Oh okay. Anyways, end yo little call with yo boyfr-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You interrupted, becoming irritated with your brother and simply wanted him to shut the fuck up. A great manager and brother, yet way too uptight for his job.

AJ rolled his eyes and muttered something but you flipped him off and pretended not to hear him until he left your dressing room. You gave your attention back to your phone, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde boy on your screen. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a nervous look growing on you but from what you could tell, he was choosing what shirt to wear to his photoshoot. Leaving him to be seen with a no top on and a pair of denim jeans.

Though it was typical to see your best friend’s exposed upper body, it was a sight you never got used to. His well-toned body, results from years of playing basketball in middle and high school, making your face hot, adding on to the nervousness you were already facing from your upcoming performance. Along with the pearly white smile he flashed at you creating a sick feeling in your stomach, something that you made you clench onto it and try to ignore. Now was not the time to be drooling over your best friend, who interrupted your stare with a laugh and said, “Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna take a picture?”

Of course, he’d ruin it with some cocky line like that, you rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth. “Boy calm down, ain’t nobody wanna was staring.”

“Your nervous face said otherwise.”

“Akekeke, don’t you have a photoshoot to go to?”

Kise replied with the same energy as yours, “And don’t you have a performance to go to?”

You held up a finger to a screen then crossed your arms, “Aht aht, don’t worry about me now. Worry about yo lil pictures with that famous ass Russian model.” You wanted to roll your eyes just thinking about the brought-up woman but it would make it seem like you’re being jealous for no reason.

Kise let out a small laugh, adoring the irritated look that was starting to creep up on your face. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a scoff, “Oh please, like I would be.” You looked at the time on your watch and noticed it was about one minute until your performance. Your eyes widened at the time and hurried, you quickly ended the call with Kise, “Shit, fuck! I gotta go perform but I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you beautiful when you get back.” The golden-eyed boy winked at you yet you cringed and scrunched your face. “You’re so fucking corny Kise.” You hung up the call, grab any other pieces missing from your outfit, and headed out of your dressing room.

You traveled quickly around backstage, passing by many coworkers and background dancers waiting for you, to head into the small tunnel for artists to come out on stage. You stopped at the exit and gulped as you scanned the stage. An outside arena with hundreds of thousands of fans cheering your name, waiting for your appearance.

Usually, you would be at ease with concerts this large but for some reason this time is different. Unknowing the reason nor cause, you started to feel anxious, your hands mildly shaking and your throat going dry.

There was something in the back of your mind attempting to not make you perform, something telling you to not do it, it won’t be good, people will hate you. A voice there to influence thoughts, hoping that you would fall into the trap and just give up on singing. Though of course, you wouldn’t listen to that voice, that voice always lingered around whenever you were brought to perform, no matter where you were.

The only thing to distract you and keep you safe from that tiny voice is someone who you’ve longed to love. One who just settles your nerves, bringing comfort, and removing all anxious thoughts. One who would deem you as one of the greatest artists he’s ever listened to, maybe it’s opinionated but he loves you too much to disagree.

The now dawdling thought of his soft voice whenever he spoke or his flirtatious nature when you two joked around made a familiar feeling grow greater than before. Something replaced the anxiousness that was growing, a feeling that replaced the nervousness and calmed your shaky hands. Something that was the thought of Ryota Kise, he was like the medicine to all the pain you’ve suffered. A remedy to your anxiety, one of the many causes of the cheeky smile social media often sees you with.

Someone who you grew up and spent all your life with, always noticing how protective he was of you or the way he hummed one of your pre-recorded tracks that he was the only one to listen to. Celebrating one of your songs had hit #1 on the Billboard chart and the way he helped out whenever you hit writer’s block.

Every single thing, noticeable or not, made you grown to love the boy, starting from a platonic, playground friendship blooming to many years of trying to figure out if you are romantically in love with him. Growing familiar feelings of butterflies mixed with the thought of just wanting to cup his face and kiss him whenever he was around.

Just the ultimate feeling of wanting to be buried in the blonde boy’s arms and explain the blooming love for him made you want to sing the song you wrote for him. A new single that you never wanted to put out since you wanted only Kise to hear it, including that the song was your way of telling him what you felt all these years.

Though something changed your mind, something in your brain told you to tell everyone around you that you’re singing solo, no backup singers or dancers, only you on that stage. In this performance, you just had to do it yourself, nothing but you, the stage, and the microphone.

Everyone was confused by the last-minute change of plans but went along with it. They rescheduled it to where your first “official” song to start the concert with was right after your solo performance. You gave thanks to your team and took some deep breaths. You made sure your Bluetooth set was on and working properly in your ear, AJ handed you a mic and brushed off any wrinkling from your outfit and any smoothed out your hair. Uptight about his job yet made sure his little sister was looking the greatest for her performances.

You took deep breaths again, shook off any bad nerves, and walked on stage. The already excited crowd enraged and their volume expanded as they saw you stand before them. Everyone waving their signs that said, “I love you y/n!!” or “Y/N is so beautiful!” You waved to the audience and stopped at the middle of the stage, walking closer to the front of the stage as well.

You turned on the mic and tapped it to see if it was working, “Mic check one two, can you guys hear me?” The crowd immediately responded yes, you continued on to talk to them, “Okay good, have been getting technical difficulties with my mic and I really don’t feel like switching mics three times. Anyways, afternoon to all my lovely fans who made it out here or to those that are watching me live. I love you all and thank you for supporting me, I truly am grateful for every single one of y’all.” Everyone screamed out how much they love you and adore you, showing off their merch that they bought and waving the homemade posters.

You smiled at their response and cleared your throat as you introduced the song, “Thank you, I love you too. This first song is one that has been sitting too comfortably in my heart. A piece that came from genuine emotions and feelings I’ve tried to bury yet couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. It’s something that I never planned on dropping but I just felt like the world had to hear what I had to say. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it cause I did when I was writing this song at two in the morning before I snuck into the studio and recorded it. Was it worth it? Definitely. Now I may introduce to you, Not Another Love Song. A contradicting title isn’t it?”

You took a large breath in and out, you took a position as you waited for the beat to drop. As soon as you heard the familiar melody start, you sang, “I don’t wanna mess this up, could it be too much to say I’m in?”

The crowd lowered down and became silent to hear your new single, grasping the beautiful new lyrics you were singing and just vibing along with it.

You yourself were placing emotion as you sang, not noticing how proudly you sang the chorus or how you were smiling at the crowd the entire time. One thing was clouding your mind to even pay attention to those details, the same thing that more than likely pushed you to sing the song.

As you sang, the feelings for your best friend grew stronger, butterflies in your stomach, and the deprivation of his touch grew on you. Not even realizing how much you missed him until you turned initially to smile at AJ and your team yet saw a familiar face appear as well. You questioned it but then turned back to continue singing to the audience, only thinking that mind is playing games with you.

“I'm finna take my time, my mind, my rules. This ain't no crimе makin' love to you, though you ain't say this. But I had a hard time waitin' for you, boy. Like ooh, boy, you, boy. Got me where you want, just gotta say and it's on, it's like, ooh, boy, do you know you got me like where do you go when you're alone?”

As you sang, you noticed the crowd growing silent, their eyes widening, and their jaws dropping. You were utterly confused at was catching their attention, you turned to your team and your brother pointed behind, giving you a goofy smile as well.

You turned around to what was the cause of this silent commotion and right along with everyone else, your jaw drop and your eyes widened. The flirtatious, handsome model that everyone knew of was standing in front of you with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He walked up to you and smiled greatly, closing in the large gap between the both of you.

Seeing him walk closer to you made you want to say forget concert and sing the rest to him. Half of your feeling was already poured out, not even knowing he was listening to all of it. You didn’t think he would even be here since he had a photoshoot, not standing on an outside stage with a bouquet of roses and dressed in casual attire.

He handed you the roses and kissed your forehead, telling you, “Alone with you, away from the world, where else would I be when I’m alone?”

No response came from you, not even a single gasp or a sniffle to signify that you might cry. The way you responded to his presence was something that shocked the arena, everyone watching you on live, your team, and even the two of you yourself. Who would’ve thought you would be bold enough to grab his face and kiss him right then and there? You snaked your arm around his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He responded back by wrapping his hands around your shoulders and hugging you tightly, holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t separate from him.

You pulled back from the kiss and smiled, softly combed his blonde hair, and expressed, “I love you, Kise.” Saying his name like it was something you’ve been aching to say, a name that you’ve buried away yet brought out today. A name that sounded so lovely and romantic when you say it.

Kise expressed as well, “I love you too y/n. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop loving you.” He kissed you again, he removed his hand from your shoulders and trailed around to find your hands. He removed your hands from his waist and instead intertwined them with his.

He felt you smile when he held your hand and smiled back. He stated in between kisses, “You know I’m staying on this stage to hear you finish that song right?”

“It’s fine, I need someone to do my next performance on anyways.” He looked at you and you did nothing but wink and mischievously smiled at him. Kise had a small idea of what he could expect but suppressed it to enjoy the soft moment he wanted between the both of you. A moment that he’ll never forget and a concert that will always be remembered for everyone around you.

彡 it’s like 5 am and I’m tired 🦧 the only thing that kept me up was the fact that I don’t have school plus I loveeeeee kise

彡 also the show olivia

彡 I don’t think I ever mentioned to y’all how much I love his ass but now is definitely not the time 😁

彡 I’m convinced if it silent black hair blue eye powerful men weren’t my type, cocky and flirtatious ones would be runner up

彡 anyways hope you guys enjoy + pleaseee listen to the song, I highly recommend plus ella mai is VERY underrated

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟏𝟖:𝟑𝟎 💗

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗄𝗈𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[turtlegirlave]

So this has a ton of opinions which I usually stray away from but i really let all my opinions out here. Also there is definitely fact mistakes, probably name mistakes and some incorrect singing terms in here, I wrote this at 2 A.M. with a limited knowledge of theater I’m just trying to get a point across.

Why s2 of hsm the series should have been newsies instead of beauty and the beast:

They say straight up in the show “we need a real Alan Menkhen musical” and they pick beauty and the beast instead of newsies, a literal Broadway stage production???

At first I assumed it was because the cast was primarily male, but that isn’t even a reasonable argument. 1)as shown by s1 when a boy played sharpay, gender doesn’t matter when being considered for a role. 2), a cast with multiple male leads would give the gay men in the show a chance to shine, instead of shoving them to background roles like Chip. Not to mention Carlos is a dancer, and newsies is a musical driven by choreography. 3), since nini moved there are only like 2 lead females anyway, which works for the 2 female roles in newsies.

Casting Wise, the play works SO MUCH better!

Ricky: jack kelley is a much better role for him than the beast for many reasons. First, their personalities are very similar with the mischievous main teen vibe, so the role would be like Troy where Ricky can slip into it easier. Second, it fits him better vocally. It is very clear from listening to Joshua basset sing that he has a relatively high vocal range, and singing low notes or in a deep voice doesn’t come as naturally to him. Jeremy Jordan has a similar vocal range, where he stays in higher octaves and more rarely uses a deep, monotone voice (at least never to the beast’s extent). Ricky would sound perfect singing in Jack’s vocal range. The beast, however, sings almost exclusively in an extremely deep, monotone voice that Joshua cannot easily perform.

Ashlyn: not only does she look quite similar to Katherine, but they have similar personalities as well. Also, katherine’s high and bubbly singing voice would sound lovely with Ash’s, which is also high and bubbly but often softer. This would allow her to push herself to sing louder and more confidently. And she still gets to play a smart bookworm lead female role.

Kourtney: she was born to play miss medda larken. Mrs. Potts’ debut song “beauty and the beast” is a soft romance ballad, which does not match kourt’s stadium reach, strong, powerful voice. “That’s rich” not only shows off her vocals better, but matches her personality and voice much better with the grit and power behind it. Also, Mrs Potts as a character is the soft, motherly type. Miss medda is a rambunctious, empowered, “I got men if I want em but I don’t need em” kinda woman. Which role better fits the girl power, loud, activist, personal cheer squad type person that Kourtney is?

Carlos and Sebastian: not only would this stop shoving the gays and only interesting men other than Ricky to background roles (sorry big red), but it would show off their talents. Seb would make a wonderful crutchy, with his innocent nature and likeness to the character. It would also give him a chance to flex his vocals and sing a duet with Ricky in Santa Fe, further developing the friendships in the show. Carlos could play really any of the main boys, I mostly think he would kill in this due to his dance and choreography skills, which newsies really emphasizes.

Big red: PLEASE this boy would be perfect as Ben Cook’s role (can’t remember the newsie’s name). They’re both the kinda dumb but endearing friend type, and he leads “king of New York”, a song with a killer tap dancing break, which is the whole reason big red wanted to try out! His chemistry with Ricky as crutchy would make that a fine role for him too, but since Sebastian has stronger vocals I think it’s better for him to take a more prominent role while big red relies on his dancing skills over singing.

Gina: though there’s no more lead girl roles, I think she would kill it as mr. Pulitzer. They could add some spice to the character through her insane dance skills, and she would play a great “cunning yet intelligent buisinesswoman” type. This dude also gets 2 or 3 songs, and honestly I don’t remember who she plays in Beauty and the beast so idk.

EJ: I admit Gaston is a perfect role for him and I can’t fit him into newsies well. He would play a good spot conlin, though it is a significantly smaller role. No one really cares about ej though so small loss.

Plot valuability:

doing newsies makes literally way more sense. Firstly, they are kinda planning entering this show last-minute compared to the competition, so to pick a show already written and choreographed for stage production would really save time. (Even though it would still need work to be condensed for a high school production). Second, miss Jen is so determined to stand out from the crowd and win the contest so she picks... beauty and the beast? One of the most popular Disney movies (and honestly with one of Alan’s weaker soundtracks compared to tangled, Aladdin, and the little mermaid imo). Having them do newsies, especially when switching up gender roles like casting Gina as Pulitzer, would actually make them stand apart from the dozens of schools performing Disney movies. It would also give a significantly more impressive vocal and dance performance, since the songs were written for Broadway singers rather than actors. The set is also more cheap and condensed, while still looking professional, which would help with their “we’re too poor and late to afford a straight-up aquarium so let’s do the most with what we’ve got.” Putting the characters in these roles would also not alter their development or main story plots much, besides strengthening certain friendships and pushing aside less popular characters (ej). It would also give more rep for the gays as well as switching up gender roles. Imagine, the gay guys get actual things to do in the show and aren’t defined by the sole plot of “my boyfriend rich” relationship drama! (I love these two but I am a tired ace). Also jerjor performs in both this and tangled the series, so it’s a double whammy for Alan menkhen representation.

Marketability: I know the musical has to be widely known and appealing to viewers. People watched s1 because they love hsm. People also love beauty and the beast, so viewership may raise with fans of the movie. Newsies doesn’t die here, though. It is a very widely popular play among theatre people, and existed first as a movie musical so it isn’t exclusive to theater kids. Also, fans of Newsies are generally between their tweens and early twenties, the exact age demographic for the show. Beauty and the beast is a classic and more widely known, but also doesn’t draw in large numbers of the exact age group you want. Also, the fact that newsies is a little less mainstream only helps the plot point of them choosing it to still have something well known while also standing out from the competition. Doing beauty and the beast is not only an awful choice for casting that limits the actors vocals or is completely out of their range, but it also makes them blend in with the crowd.

Final notes: beauty and the beast was IMO the worst choice for the play this season. Movies like Aladdin and tangled both have very energetic and loud soundtracks that allow these characters to belt their hearts out. Beauty and the beast has a very folksy, quiet, ballad type of track that limits the actors. The only actor that I think sings ballads better than big booming tracks is Nini, who isn’t even in the play this year. Ricky also sings great ballads, which is why ballads that are still slow but also emotional and powerful like “Santa fe” or “something to believe in” (which would sound AMAZING in his and Ashlyn’s voices) fit much better than the deep voice of the beast that he can not comfortably sing in. Also, the beast has very few songs whereas newsies would allow him to belt his heart out in nearly every song with that lovely voice he has. The age range of the newsies cast (that characters are supposed to be 17) fits better with these very teen actors than a movie about old fashioned French young adults. Really newsies was the best musical choice for this season, but I also believe beauty and the beast was the last one they should have chosen.

(After reading comments I rescind my statement that beauty and the beast was the worst choice, but it’s still second to newsies imo)

Feel free to debate me in the comments or point out my mistakes, I’m very open to other points of view

[starlightinhumanform]

Friday Night Lights: Chapter Two

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship: Romantic Prinxiety, Platonic Sleepxiety 

Summary: Roman and Virgil play opposite positions on their rival high school football teams. It’s the Homecoming game and tensions are high. Neither are willing to lose but one must rise above the other...

Warnings: Descriptions of pain/injury, Moderate language, One mention of drinking (Please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: High School AU, Rivals to Lovers, Fluff 

A/N: Well... nearly a year since the first chapter came out I’m finally writing again!!! I really love this AU (even though I know very little about football lmao) and I have a lot of ideas about how I would like to include more Sanders Sides characters into this world. If I can get some more of my unfinished fics done, I really want to expand this series. Until then, I hope you enjoy! Love you all 🖤✨

Chapter One   Ao3   Fic Masterpost   Fic Request Info

The first play passed by in a blink. Most of the guys at the front went down quickly, even the largest crumpling under Prince and his brigade. Somehow in the chaos, the ball had been passed to Remy instead of Virgil and the fullback was tackled to the ground.

Virgil rolled his eyes at Remy as the team fell back into formation, only a few feet forward from where they had begun, “Dude, why’d the fuck did it get passed to you? It’s not like a knucklehead like you would know what to do with it.”

Remy huffed a laugh in response, “I have no clue. I’ll make sure it gets to you this time… hopefully.”

He glanced over in the direction that Remy was grimacing. It was Prince, of course, lumbering toward his position with what seemed to Virgil to be nothing but brutish arrogance. Roman acted like the entire game was about him; he acted like it was West Shore Vs Roman instead of West Shore Vs Knights. He probably didn’t even care about the game— it was all about showing off.

Crouched in the back of the formation, it was hard to see anyone at the front but he could picture Roman, somehow managing to smirk behind his mouthguard. Virgil hoped that Remy would rub his face in the turf.

—————————————-

Roman prepared for the second down, glad to see that the jock in front of him wasn’t looking nearly as confident as he had at the first down. Knocking someone to the ground always seemed to do the trick.

The ball was hurled straight back to Tempeste and the bitch who had growled at him earlier didn’t even try to block Roman. Good. All that was left between him and the weird little halfback was Remy Ristretto.

Roman tried to steady himself before the expected slam, but Ristretto’s tackle hit him low in the stomach, managing to knock him off balance. From the ground, he could just barely see the purple form of Tempeste weaving down the field and avoiding every single one of the Monarch Knight’s defense.

Roman tried to throw off the weight of the boy on his back but found himself thoroughly pinned down. His mouth was filled with the taste of plastic turf and dusty rubber and almost the entirety of his vision was blocked by the grape juice flavoured uniform on top of him. It was humiliating. And Tempeste was still running, reaching the end zone without being touched by a single Knight. It was like his feet didn’t even touch the ground, flying across the field.

The West Shore team were given the chance to make a field goal, and made it, but Roman hardly noticed. He was too busy grumbling about how he was going to get back at Tempeste the second he got the chance.

—————————————-

By halftime, Virgil felt like he had been driven over by a steamroller. Multiple times. A steamroller covered in baseball bats.

As the marching band paraded past where Virgil was sitting, he wondered vaguely about the operability of a steamroller that had baseball bats attached to it. Maybe the hit he had taken to the head earlier in the game had been harder than he thought.

Remy sat down besides him, “What’s going on in that big old head of yours?”

“Uhhhhh, a lot of cartoon gong sound effects. Now that I think about it, that might just be the band.”

Virgil looked out across the field as the marching band made their final pass around the turf. The sky was completely dark by now but the stadium glowed bright as day under the huge lights. It was always wonderfully surreal to Virgil, the time of night when the field became its own little world still holding onto the glory of day. He hoped glory was still how he felt about this field by the end of the game. The alternative would be shame; the alternative would be defeat.

And defeat was not an option for a game right before homecoming. It’s not that Virgil particularly cared about the school dances, quite the opposite in fact, he hated them. They were crowded, noisy, and you had to wear uncomfortable clothes and stand around with a bunch of people you don’t like instead of being at home watching scary movies and eating pizza in your pajamas. But there’s only one thing worse than going to a school dance— going to the a school dance after losing the biggest game of the season.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Remy’s voice broke through Virgil’s thoughts, “Well stop it. We’re ahead of the Knights—“

“Barely.”

“—you’ve made some great runs so far—“

“I’ve gotten blocked plenty of times too.”

“—and you’re always at your best in the second half of the game. Now stop putting all your energy towards making the little hamster wheel in your brain turn faster and go use it on the field. C’mon man, the third quarter is about to start.”

Virgil shook his head as if to dislodge the distracting thoughts, letting his purple bangs fall in front of his face for a moment before brushing them back and putting his helmet on. Remy was right. Virgil had started football as a way to channel his anxiety, not to cause himself more. He just needed to get on that field and start running.

He jumped up and started bouncing on his feet, letting the adrenaline flow through his body until it felt like he was buzzing. Virgil was ready to win.

—————————————-

Roman was ready to win.

He could feel it boiling in stomach, the drive, the push to alway be the best. The teams had been neck-and-neck the entire game but West Shore’s grape-coloured menace had managed to scrape by with a slight lead by the end of the second quarter. Roman had no idea how Tempeste could even run that fast; he had short little legs and was about as delicate as a twig. Maybe West Shore just hooked him up to a car battery and gave him 20 energy drinks before every game.

However they made it happen, the kid could run. He didn’t look like he belonged on a football team, more like a trackstar or even a dancer. Roman knew he looked like a football player— tall, with broad shoulders and a thick waist, his extra weight part of what made him such a good defense. But Tempeste... he was like no player Roman had ever seen. Maybe that’s why Roman couldn’t beat him like any other player.

As the teams fell into formation, Roman looked across the row of helmets and accidentally made eye contact with Virgil. His stare burned with intensity. Roman hated to admit it, but he liked that about the rival school’s halfback, the feverish energy that seemed to storm around him. In fact, if Roman was being really honest, he loved playing against the West Shore because he loved playing against Tempeste. The energy was infectious. Playing against him made Roman want to run faster, hit harder, be better.

Roman smiled behind the mouthguard that rested on his bottom teeth. Maybe he did know how to beat Virgil; maybe he had to be just as crazy and vicious as his opponent.

—————————————-

Virgil knew what it felt like to get tackled. In his high school career he had gotten jumped on top and thrown to the ground by various sweaty, muscly dudes more times than he could ever dream of counting or would ever care to. He had been dragged to the ground, sat on, and pushed over from every angle and in every way.

But he had never, never felt a tackle like Roman’s in the beginning of the third quarter of that game.

He saw it coming, practically in slow motion, before Prince actually hit him. The boy’s shoulders were nearly twice as big as Virgil’s even with all his gear. He came charging towards Virgil head-down like a bull, his bright red helmet set with a direct trajectory to Virgil’s solar plexus.

Virgil tried to sidestep, skirting just past the moving wall of Roman Prince, but somehow Roman was moving simply too fast. The impact struck just at his core and a deep kind of pain, like a bruise that goes all the way to the bone, resonated outwards through his entire body. A vibration ran all the way to his fingertips.

Virgil could see the crowd going wild, booing and cheering and maybe just screaming with no inflection, making noise for the hell of it. He couldn’t hear any of it. Maybe the entire world had been put on mute or maybe the ringing in his ears was drowning it out.

He fell backwards and Roman flew over him, momentum carrying him forward. When he landed— and boy, did he land— he fell on directly onto Virgil’s chest. Virgil thought Roman had knocked the wind out of him by hitting him in the sternum. By landing flat on his chest with the entire bulk of his body, Roman found another ounce of breath left in Virgil’s body to shock out of him.

His vision and hearing tunneled out, focusing on the one thing capturing his entire attention: Roman. The boy on top of him was heavy, crushing Virgil through his thick shoulder pads. The heat of Prince’s body spread through his gear as well, although, based on the sweat damping his hairline, Virgil really wasn’t one to talk.

Roman was strong, stronger than him. Virgil tried to squirm away but he could feel Prince throwing his weight downwards and his arms straining to keep Virgil caged to the ground.

Just as intense as his physical strength, Prince’s eyes seemed to burn. Before, they always seemed to be depthless, simply dark and brutish like a bear. Now, breathlessly close, there seemed to be a light behind them, a thousand times brighter than the stadium lights. Gold tones shining through the dark brown of his eyes. It was the most beautiful thing Virgil had ever seen. It was also easily one of the most terrifying things he’d ever seen.

Virgil kept the ball close to his chest. As long as he could keep it, the West Shore team would still have possession and could continue to move forward across the field. They could still win.

—————————————-

Roman had Tempeste pinned to the ground and somehow it was the most exhilarating thing he had ever done. Which isn’t to say he had never tackled the halfback before— they had been playing against each other for several years now— but this was different somehow, more personal.

Tempeste growled beneath him, wriggling to escape the tackle like water slipping between his fingers. Roman push down harder, refusing to let him go.

Footsteps pounded behind them, turf crunching under the stampede of Knights quickly charging forward. Roman braced himself for the pile-up he knew was coming, over a thousand pounds worth of his team jumping to join the tackle.

One guy slammed into Roman’s back then another, then another. The pressure of the game must have been getting to them as well because they threw themselves at Roman and Tempeste like a pack of wild animals.

It felt like every single Knight, including the offense players, were joining the tackle. And feel was the correct term. He could hardly see anything besides Tempeste’s face within his purple helmet. But he could feel everything, every hit of his teammates as their full weight fell against his back. Beneath him, Tempeste’s breath began quickening, like he was sprinting again. But of course he wasn’t, he was pinned down just like Roman was.

Roman glanced down into the depths of Virgil’s helmet, searching past the grill. Shining in the dark, his eyes caught a small reflection of the stadium lights. They were large, startled, and obviously panicked. He looked like a trapped animal and his breathing only continued to become more rapid.

Their eyes met as Roman looked down and he realized this was the first time he had ever seen Virgil look really, truly afraid. He had seen Tempeste in the fourth quarter, 20 points behind and looking as determined and fierce as ever. He had seen Tempeste sprint across the field, followed by the entire Monarchs team, with a huge grin on his face like there was nothing he would rather do than be hunted after. He had seen Tempeste stand toe-toe-to, small chest puffed out and jaw set confidently, with some guy over a foot taller than him because he tried to mouth off about Virgil’s ability. He had never seen him like this.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok,” Roman set his helmet grill against Virgil’s. He knew Virgil couldn’t hear him and probably didn’t even know why he was putting his face so close. Hell, Roman didn’t even know why he was doing it. There was something about Virgil’s genuine fear that he felt the need to comfort him, tell him that it was just a game, that he would be alright.

The weight of another player hit him and Roman was slammed against Virgil’s chest. The sudden shift forced Roman onto his wrist, the small joint carrying him and the entirety of his team. Something cracked. He gasped sharply as pain struck every molecule in his body. Roman’s vision went black.

—————————————-

Virgil sat in the locker room, staring vaguely across at the rows of blue shelves in front of him as he held a pack of ice against his shoulder. The nurse said that it might have been dislocated in the pileup.

He wished he could blame it on Roman, that oaf was the one who had tackled him to begin with. He couldn’t though. It was Roman’s job to tackle him and that’s exactly what Roman had done and as much as it confused and somewhat infuriated Virgil, he also knew the other boy had protected him from the blunt force of his teammates. Why? Why would he do that?

Dull pain throbbed through the entirety of his body, clouding his mind. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what had happened.

Virgil was pretty sure Roman got hurt too. As he had walked off the field, gritting his teeth, he caught a glimpse of Prince cradling his hand as he walked in the opposite direction.

It was one hell of a pileup; four years of football and he had only been in a tangle that bad the first time he had played against the Monarchs. Maybe he and Roman were just destined to create disasters.

Virgil grimaced as his mind kept wandering back to Roman. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but worry if Prince was alright. Virgil had no idea what was going on in his mind, or on the field, or in the locker room on the other side.

—————————————-

Roman was bored. He sat on the bleachers, watching the game drag on ahead of him as he held a pack of ice to his wrist. The nurse had told him it was probably just strained but Roman wasn’t convinced. He could feel the ache throbbing up his arm with every beat of his heart. Between the pain and the pressure spreading out from grinding his teeth, Roman’s head was trapped in a haze that he could barely see through.

From what he could tell, the Monarch Knights were winning. With Virgil out, Westshore’s offense had been greatly weakened. Roman hardly cared; he wasn’t out there, Virgil wasn’t out there, none of the spark was left in the game. What was the point of winning if there was no one to win against?

The crowd roared as the final quarter came to a close. The Knights won, but Roman didn’t. He felt disappointed, dejected, and like he didn’t quite understand where he was. This wasn’t his game.

The night came to an end and Roman opted to go straight to the locker room instead of shaking hands with the other team, blaming it on his wrist.  Usually, he loved facing the other team after a win— admittedly because it gave him a chance to gloat over them— but he just couldn’t find that same feeling tonight.

—————————————-

Virgil leaned against a cold concrete wall of the bleachers, staring up at the stadium light’s false sun above him. If he looked far enough, he could find the dark sky and the twinkling lights of the city below him and beyond the intense glow of the school.

A cool breeze was picking up as the world shifted into night. It was beautiful but Virgil couldn’t appreciate it. He just wished there had been some sort of ending, a closure of some kind. He and Prince’s last hurrah against each other. But they hadn’t gotten a hurrah, all they got was a game that petered out and came to sputtering stop as they both sat on the sidelines. Virgil didn’t even care that West Shore lost; it was never about West Shore and the Monarchs. It was about him and Roman.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, “You mind if I join your sulking or would you rather be left alone to mope?”

Virgil spun around, his body tensing at Roman’s voice and sending a twinge of pain down from his shoulder, “What do you want?”

Roman stepped closer, “I told you, I came to sulk with you because that’s obviously what we’re both doing.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right well... fuck off.”

“Man, I thought you might bite before but now I’m sure of it.”

Prince took another casual step forward as Virgil’s mind began racing. What is he doing? Virgil’s eyes swept over Roman. He had never really seen him out of his football uniform and damn. In denim jeans and a red tee shirt, Virgil was actually able to see him for the first time. Most guys were greatly exaggerated by the uniform, making them look bigger and stronger, but nope, Roman was really just built like that. His gaze reached Prince’s face. Like the rest of his body, his features looked like they had been sculpted and chiseled like some type of statue. He was reminded of how beautiful Roman’s eyes were when he actually took the time to look at them, the warm shades of brown filtering through each other.

“Uh, what are you looking at?” Roman laughed, a hint of nervousness creeping into the edge of his voice.

Virgil felt blood rushing to his face as a deep blush rose to his cheeks. He had been staring, hadn’t he? “Sorry.”

Roman stepped even closer, clearing his throat again, “I actually came over here because... I wanted just wanted to tell you I’ve really enjoyed playing against you. And it can’t just be summed up by saying ‘good game;’ it’s been a hell of a good four years... you’re a phenomenal player.”

Virgil stared down at his feet. This was not what he had been expecting, not that he had been expecting any of this, “You know... it hasn’t been easy to be the smallest person on the team— shit, I’m the smallest player in any of the district teams. I don’t think I would have kept playing, or would have tried as hard to stay on the team if I wasn’t absolutely set on kicking your ass.”

Roman laughed— a deep, genuine sound flooding from somewhere in his broad chest— and Virgil couldn’t help but grin.

“So yeah... thanks for that. And good game,” Virgil smiled up at the other boy.

“Well, we can’t exactly shake hands like usual,” Roman glanced down at his swollen wrist and Virgil’s shoulder that he was still nursing.

“Can we do something else then?” Virgil moved so he was standing face to face with Roman, his heart pounding in his ears.

Virgil could feel Roman’s breathing quicken as he reached up with his good arm, sliding his hand to the base of Roman’s neck. Put he didn’t startle, he didn’t try to move away. If anything, he seemed to be leaning into the touch.

Virgil moved forward, standing on the tips of his toes to press his lips against Roman’s. For a horrific second, he thought Roman wouldn’t return it but after a moment of apparent shock, Roman bowed his head to deepen the kiss. He tipped them forward, supporting the entirety of Virgil’s weight with his uninjured hand.

When they finally broke away, Virgil was completely breathless. He definitely hadn’t seen that coming at the beginning of the evening.

Roman looked equally surprised but he began grinning like an idiot as the realization of what had just happened settled over him, “Can we do that again??”

Virgil laughed at Roman’s eager, puppy-dog-eyes expression, “At least buy me a drink first.”

“Well, I can’t exactly do that seeing as we’re both like 17–“

“Excuse you, I’m 18,” Virgil stuck his tongue out in mock indignation.

“Yeah, well, uh, would you maybe want to go to homecoming with me?” Roman began rushing his words out, “I mean, I totally get if not. There’s absolutely no pressure. And I’m sure you already have plans so—“

“That’d be cool,” Virgil broke in, “I’d really, really like that.”

Roman’s face once again broke into a beaming smile, “Really??”

“Yeah you big idiot, that’s why I said it. Besides, it’s awful going to a dance after losing a game so I might as well bring a trophy,” Virgil slipped his hand into Roman’s and began leading them out of the stadium and into the parking lot. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened tonight. He had started the evening determined to win, but even though West Shore lost, he didn’t feel disappointed.

Virgil looked at the silhouette of Roman against the fading campus lights as he walked alongside him. Maybe he had won something even more important than the game.

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[uomo-accattivante]

Great comprehensive interview with Elvira on the making of The Letter Room and filmmaking, in general. One interesting tidbit mentioned: she is currently developing a podcast about sex. 👀🤔

For most of her creative life, Elvira Lind has been behind the the lens compassionately capturing true stories as a documentary filmmaker. Her debut feature, Songs for Alexis, observes two young lovebirds navigating a long distance relationship and challenging views on gender identity in the modern age. While her sophomore feature, Bobbi Jenne, explores the life of a famous dancer fighting for her own creative and personal independence.

Despite her prolific doc work, a story that couldn't simply be told in its raw form kept circulating in her head: a dark prison comedy about the secret life of a correctional officer trying to bring humanity to the prison system. When he gets transferred to a job in the letter room, he finds himself a little too involved in the private lives of the inmates.

Far along in her second pregnancy, and with the support of an incredible team of collaborators, Elvira took on the challenge of writing and directing her first narrative short, "The Letter Room." The film stars Oscar Isaac and Alia Shawkat, and has had an all-star festival run, screening at Telluride, Tribeca, and the Palm Springs International Film Festival. Here, Elvira reflects on the joys and challenges of creating your first short film—putting empathy first, reshaping the tropes around pregnancy, and screening in the COVID era.

FTW: How did you become a filmmaker?

Elvira Lind: I’ve always loved film. I was very drawn to documentaries because it felt like you were entering something that was really happening. You opened a door and were already inside the film. You’re just trying to keep up with what’s being thrown at you. As opposed to fiction where you have to conjure it up from nowhere. I loved imagining and writing stories when I was little, but I didn’t have the confidence to pursue it.

I didn’t come from a family of filmmakers. And I came from a time when people had a little shitty camcorder that you borrowed from someone’s uncle, and buying film was expensive. Things opened up and changed a lot when cameras became more accessible.

I could only afford one year of film school in Cape Town, where I met some amazing people and learned about so many different ways of storytelling. I came back to Denmark and found myself working for free a lot for other filmmakers while doing a side job. The paid work was very hard to get, but I’d rather work for free with filmmakers that I loved and have more responsibilities than have access to nothing. It wasn’t easy to find my way in, but it’s so worth it. 

And now you live in New York. How does this global background affect your general filmmaking style and approach?

I definitely bring a lot of Danish documentary traditions with me and hold it very dear. There are a lot of kick ass female documentary filmmakers in Denmark that have taught me a lot. There’s a good support system for women there. It’s an incredibly privileged place in that there’s funding from the government to make films. You can make things that, in my opinion, are often far more interesting because it’s not reliant on how it’s going to make money in the box office.

You’ve shot many of your documentaries in the past. So what was it like this time to be working with a cinematographer?

I always wanted to work with a cinematographer on my documentaries; we just couldn’t afford it. Now for “The Letter Room”, I worked with Sam Chase, who has got such a brilliant eye and it was wonderful to have someone to work with on composing the look of the film because I’m usually doing it by myself. It is kind of like a marriage. I work with the same editor on all my projects as well. You enter this symbiotic sort of dance together. For me, it also means you have to fight about things and disagree and then make up and hear each other out. My editor, Adam Nielsen, is the kind of guy who just comes up with genius ideas while in the shower or on the way home from work on his bicycle. You have to find these key people in your life where you can bounce ideas back and forth with.

Where did the idea for “The Letter Room” come from?

It was a story that was brewing in my head for a long time, but I wasn’t sure how to put a narrative film together. I just started to write it down and then it kept developing.

There was a podcast that I listened to that really inspired me. It told the story of different men who were all unknowingly writing love letters to the same woman. She started to ask for money and help with rent, but the letters she wrote were so wonderful and all these men were very in love with her. These very lonely men felt like magic had entered their lives. They all eventually found out that the woman was actually a man writing to different people trying to get their money. They were all heartbroken, but one of the men said that the worst part was losing these letters and that the fantasy was gone. He wished they could just keep writing to each other. So much of life is fantasy and trying to live through other people’s lives. I’m very drawn to stories of loneliness and bottled up feelings.

And then I am firmly against the American prison system. It’s heartbreaking, frustrating, and I can’t make sense of it. How do you even begin to explain this system to a child?

It’s a society that doesn’t care about humanity. I wanted to show the monotony, the repetition, the sadness. I don’t see the bigger goal or purpose of locking people away for countless years  and taking away all the things that makes you feel human, that makes life joyous. I really believe that we can all change and this system teaches people nothing. “The Letter Room'' is the combination of these two concepts that I’m very passionate about.

And then I got pregnant for the second time and I hadn’t made a film between the two. It was a crazy feeling to be taken over again by pregnancy. A wonderful friend of mine, Sofia Sondervan-Bild, came to me and said, “I think you should make this film and I’ll make it with you.” Initially, I freaked out and thought I didn’t know how to do fiction and doubted how I could make a film in a prison, but she inspired me and told me to do it. She’s just one of these incredibly powerful people that you want to go on an adventure with. She made me feel like my pregnancy wasn’t going to stand in the way of me making this film. We ended up shooting while I was far along in my pregnancy in a prison in the middle of a summer heat wave. It was crazy, but it was the best thing that I could’ve done at the time.

When you were directing on set at that stage of pregnancy, did you feel like you were reshaping tropes of what women are capable of? 

It was insane. The funny thing was that the crew was like, “we can’t complain that we are tired because she is extremely pregnant and still running around.” I was so high off of that experience. When we finished, I collapsed. I fell straight onto the couch and then I have a two and a half year old screaming my name. That was more work for me than directing the short. I edited the film right before I gave birth actually, and then I gave birth and did sound right after. I was pumping breast milk in the corner in the darkness during the sound edit.

I’ve learned a lot from surpassing whatever I thought was physically possible with being pregnant. I learned that being in a creative process gives you so much energy that it allows you to be in whatever shape, size, form, mental space you can. People are ready to give you their support, if you choose the right people. I’m really grateful that I chose such wonderful collaborators who supported me through it all. Even when people were questioning my choice to direct a film while being pregnant in a prison. Why not? Women get pregnant and then we still need to be supported so that we can continue to make the things we want to do.

What was your experience with getting “The Letter Room” funded?

It’s really hard, let’s be honest. There aren’t a lot of people sitting around waiting to fund a short film. We ended up working with Topic, which is a part of First Look Media. They are just incredible and really support filmmakers with whatever their vision is. I’ve had great experiences and some really bad experiences with funding, so I know this was an ideal scenario.

Having a short that is over 30 minutes long seems like a feat. At what stage in the process did you know this was going to be a longer piece? And how did that decision affect the shoot in both positive and difficult ways?

It was way too long at first, and when I shortened it, it was still 32 minutes. We could only afford five days of shooting, and a lot of it is shot on active prison grounds, which have an insane amount of protocol. We almost used everything we shot.

I’m not used to being able to have different angles to choose from in my doc work, so I think I just knew exactly what I wanted. I know that my producers were worried that I wasn’t getting enough, but to me, I was like, I’m getting double of what I usually get on a documentary! Everyone was quietly concerned, but everything worked out when we got to the edit.

The short’s length hasn’t done any favors for me so far, but you need to breathe as an audience, you need to pace it out. If I cut out certain minutes, it would’ve felt rushed and you wouldn’t have believed the arcs that the characters had.

I loved the concept of placing a very empathetic character in a setting that is contrary to that personality type. You included so many details that made the world feel so three dimensional and cared for. Can you talk about those decisions to create that feeling?

It means so much to me that it made you feel that way. What frustrates me about the prison system is that it lacks any empathy or understanding of human nature and nurture and who we are. What we need to become better people. It takes all of that away.

I spoke to people who have spent a lot of time in prison and they told me that you have to hide your feelings and that showing any signs of weakness will be a disaster. It’s the worst possible scenario you can imagine yourself in. Being robbed of every privacy, anything that makes you happy, anything that makes you feel like yourself. I imagined the character of a caregiver in this setting who wants to help and finds a silly way to do so. I was very inspired by that story of the love letters that I talked about earlier. What does it mean to lie if you’re making someone else happy?

It’s the morning of your first day of the shoot — how do you feel?

I was very nervous. I had never said ‘action’ before. I’ve been on a lot of sets, but I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t know what I was doing, but it’s also okay not to know. Mistakes are going to happen, and sometimes they become gifts. At the same time, I was very excited. You come in and there are all these people there with you who are there to make this thing you’ve written come to life.

What are some things you would do on set to create a safe space and vulnerable environment?

We did everything we could to make the set a safe space. It was very difficult and stressful to shoot in an active prison, but we made sure to actively ask our crew if everyone’s feeling okay and if we can do anything to make the situation better. I’m very vulnerable and encourage all of my crew to be vulnerable with me. Mistakes are welcome.

It's a short film, people come and work on this not because they’re making a million dollars, but because they want to be there and are being incredibly generous with their time and energy. It was such a good environment that even when challenging things came up, it was still a lot of fun.

What was it like working with actors for the first time?

That was one of the biggest challenges for me. I’ve heard so many different stories in passing of the least helpful note or worst thing to say to an actor. You want to be respectful and actors have their way of working. Ultimately, they are all really talented actors and all of them came with so much energy and a lot of ideas.

I spent time with each of them talking about their character. Those 1 on 1 conversations helped me a lot in the writing process as well because you’re bouncing ideas off of each other and they’re asking you questions about how they would respond to a certain situation.

I had always imagined Alia Shawkat as Rosita and she ended up wanting to do it and came from LA to film it. I had tears in my eyes when we were filming the scene of her and Oscar. They were excited to do the scene together. It was all a dream.

What was the experience of working creatively alongside your partner like?

We were joking a lot about it before because there was already the stress of being so pregnant and we have a 2 year old at home, and now I was putting us in another highly intense and demanding situation. Either it was going to be great OR we would drive each other nuts. But we had so much fun. It was wonderful to work together. I was so happy to be on set and make my film and he’s just so talented and fun to be around. Those little moments where you know each other so well—I’d give him notes and he just kept surprising me and was so respectful of my directions.

He found this photo for him to connect to the character and it became very fundamental to me. It was this incredible black and white photo from the 70s of a prison guard. I had always imagined that he would have this inner salsa soundtrack playing in his soul and we would play Rubén Blades and 70s salsa music and Oscar just morphed that into music into everything and created this unique character. 

And he was wearing a fat suit the entire shoot and I was pregnant and Alia Shawkat had her pregnant belly on. The three of us—it was so funny.

It seems like the perfect first experience of going into narrative with people that you really trust and support you.

Definitely! Find the people that you can team up with that really believe in your vision and who will push you to do exactly what you had in mind. People who never try to push you into these conventional routes. Our creative voices are so fragile. You want to be on the same page so that they see what you’re trying to do and want to bring that out of you. Where they’re treating your film as a sacred thing that you’re creating together.

How do you know when a film is done?

Fiction is very different from documentaries. With documentaries, it never feels like it’s done because there are so many options. That’s also why I love fiction so much; It’s so much faster. It’s a whole different beast to tame a documentary with hundreds of hours of footage where you’re reinventing the wheel every day.

How have you built up your own confidence as a director and your unique voice?

Stubbornness. I’ve had many experiences working with people who didn’t believe in my project. You have to stick to your guns and trust your instincts. Once you find your voice, you find people that want to go on that ride with you and find your vision interesting. It’s a miracle when any of us gets a project made, so your confidence can’t come from how much money your movie made. It has to come from somewhere else. Did you do justice to the people you portrayed in your story? Did anyone walk away feeling like something had changed within them?

What is a good director to you?

Someone who is driven with passion without letting that passion take over and become any source of frustration that’s taken out on other people. It should feel like a collaborative effort. And having gratitude every day that you’re making something with other people who are donating their time. You’d be nowhere without them. One of the most important things is making sure that your crew is treating everyone equally. It depends on the size of the production, but having someone who can sense what’s happening in all different departments and having department heads that are there to protect everyone. Listen to each other, and make sure everyone feels safe and is in the best place to be creative.

With COVID, what has the adjustment been like to being in an online space for this festival run? 

I’m really deeply saddened by not having the human interaction aspect of it. It feels so crucial to be in the room together, to meet and see each other's projects and share the experience, to cry and laugh next to people you don’t know. I’m grieving to be honest. We just gotta get through this time. It reminds us of how sacred it is for us to gather and how that feels, and I hope that all of that will come back after this and that cinemas will survive. We really need them.

What’s next for you?

Right now I’m writing more fiction and working on a new documentary feature that I am kind of researching and shooting at the same time. I am also creating a podcast about sex, called “The List” with my friend, writer and photographer Kirra Cheers, based on a book and play she wrote. My husband and I just started a production company together, Mad Gene Media, in order to develop and produce our own material. So. lots of exciting things to continue with in the new year.

Born in 1981 in Copenhagen, Elvira Lind graduated from School of Media and Creative Arts in Cape Town in 2006 majoring in documentary film where she received two awards for her final year achievements. She has worked within that field since directing and shooting documentaries of various lengths for TV, cinema and web on 4 different continents.​In 2020 she premiered her first fiction project, a 32 min short film she wrote and directed. The film was sold to Topic and was invited to various festivals including Telluride and Tribeca FF. Elvira's feature doc BOBBI JENE premiered at Tribeca Film Festival in 2017 where it won all awards in its category including Best Feature documentary, best editing and best Cinematography. The film had theatrical release in US, Spain and Scandinavia.​Elvira's first documentary feature Songs for Alexis premiered at Toronto HOT DOCS in 2014 and screened and competed at a long list of international festivals. Her 8 part documentary TV series "Twiz and Tuck" was bought by VICELAND and launched in 2017. Elvira now lives and works out of New York.

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