#he's /younger/ than kalas???

[alizardjae]

Torn on what Origins reveals about Almarde; on the one hand, it gives her more agency in the whole situation, but on the other it makes her a lot less sympathetic in the whole deal.

Like, yeah, Lyuvaan is ultimately the Worst (man, at least divorce your wife before hitting on the woman closer to your kids' ages than yours), but the Paramour's Secret magnus' existence suggests she knows it's an affair and that's just a bad look. Not "have the resulting kid led to believe you're just his nanny and let his half-siblings bully him into believing he's not worthy of love for reasons he doesn't know about" bad, but not good.

Almarde, darling, he's a cop who hit you as a civilian and is cheating on his wife, with two kids at home, the flags are redder than your hair, let him go.

[c-u-c-koo-4-40k]

Education can be expensive, but everyone should have the ability to access it. So they can pursue a life, and career that fulfills them and/or meets their needs!

You can help a family struggling to evacuate Gaza, and obtain that education!

Meet Anas and Ahmed! @anasbasilgaza (Verified info in the post linked below)

EDIT! The blog for this post got deleted. BUT! I Personally helped this campaign get verified by association and they're number 83 on the @gazavetters list. Screen shot here And the GFM links match!

They are relatives of Osama Basil, a web developer who is managing his own campaign to repair his web design business and establish a stable wifi connection to the besieged Gaza Strip.

He's also trying desperately to help his younger relatives escape Gaza and improve their lives.

Please share so more people can see their need, and the progress of their campaign!

Then if/when you've got some extra money, consider making a donation.

Every action no matter how small, Helps. It helps more than you may ever know.

Thank You.

Here's the direct link to the campaign.

9,975 / 29,000 EUR

34% Funded!

A HUGE thank you to all donors and sharers who helped us get here! We've gotten this far, so we can't stop now.

Tag list to help this post make the rounds. Thanks to everyone on this list for helping campaigns get their footing! You can dm me for removal.

@a-shade-of-blue @sunnylittledragon

@selflovejolteon @virovac

@frustrated-froglet @qattdraws @heydreamchild

@amvs @boosting-donations

@sweet-honey-bunnies

@dyspunktional-leviathan

@nobelgasxenon

@zone0neko

@comrademango @mx-piggy @kala-mies

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Character cuddle scale

How-to: rate your OC based on how they handle cuddling/being cuddled

Got tagged by @ndostairlyrium and @cao-the-dreamer! <33

Tagging in turn @herearedragons @a-drama-addict @nanowatzophina @curiouslavellan @bearsizedant @midmorninggrey @thatwinglessthing @goofsoup and anyone else who'd like to have a go! c: (doesn't have to be DA ocs of course!)

Neira Surana: 4/10 - It's Complicated

She won't protest because she is The Worst at setting boundaries and she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it's not hard to tell that cuddling makes her feel awkward. And yet if you catch her at the right moment she will melt right into it.. It's a weird mix of being touch starved and being a people pleaser and sensory things tm and not having her boundaries figured out well.

In any case, because of that she rarely offers or seeks hugs, and her reaction to receiving them will vary.

Kala Brosca: 2/10 - do you have touch privileges? no? go away.

If you are anyone but Rica, Zevran, or Alistair, (or baby Endrin), you aren't touching her, end of story. You can try if you'd like but if you lose your kneecaps or break an arm or two, that's on you. She isn't one for touch, and happy this way. She doesn't get a 0/10 because there is exactly one (1) person that she gets very clingy and cuddly with, and that is Alistair.

Noya Tabris: 8/10 - don't get squashed!

Big no-no until you are Approved TM, but she becomes very touchy once they warm up to someone. She's used to being physically close with people and it's something she looks for in her social circle! Cuddling to warm up, hugging for greetings, huddling close to whisper spooky stories at night... It's very ingrained into them as a form of showing love so they might have a hard time remembering consent, but Does Her Best to be mindful. Chances are if you ask for a hug she'll be glad to give it! You might want to pad your ribcage beforehand though; no half-assed hugs from this elf!

Var'renan Mahariel: 7/10 - (un)certified therapy hugger

When she's not in the mood for it she will say as much, but often they are perfectly content with cuddles or hugs, both from/for people they trust and people who they think might need it. It's not his primary love language by any means but it is something that they generally appreciate, and well, it is a simple way to provide comfort or support without the need for words or grand gestures.

Liam Hawke: 5/10 - average once again lol

He is very needy in terms of touch, yes, but actually not much of a cuddler except with a few select people. With those people he will seek it out relatively often, with everyone else, very rarley. That said, he doesn't mind a hug from a friend now and then, but won't usually be the one initiating it.

Lilian Hawke: 9/10 - champion of kirkwall AND of cuddles

Likes her intimidating reputation in public but is actually a runner up for hugging champion, don't tell anyone. She won't just let anyone that close, mind, but once she does turns out being good with boundaries and enjoying physical closeness and having practice from growing up with younger siblings makes for a top tier combo.

June Trevelyan: 3/10 - touchy, but not cuddly

Thing with June is that either it's No Touchy, or All The Touchy. Once she likes you she loses all sense of personal space and she Will drape over your lap like a cat, or squeeze close to get a look at what you're holding, without second though. Consciously cuddling or hugging though? Not really her thing, most of the time. Once she starts thinking about affection she doesn't know what to do with it

Ari Adaar: 4/10 - he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit

Chronic overthinker also overthinks The Rules Of Hugging, big surprise. Plus, he is large and strong, and he knows it, so any time someone is Up Close he gets worried about accidentally hurting them, so that's an additional Awkward Factor. That said, when someone he cares for needs a hug or cuddle he is more than ready to offer one, even if he feels inadequate. He is very honoured that they trust him with it and, well, can't say it doesn't feel nice..

Adriel - 9/10 - more than incidental hugger

Heck yeah to both! She often shows affection in very physical ways, so she's both a great giver and receiver od hugs. Considering she has a parent who is very particular about touch she's learned early to mind boundaries, but she is very liberal and enthusiastic about cuddles once she has the 'go ahead' to do so

[nushkiespeaks]

*post continued*

You lived on the banks of the Sarasvati for the sacrifice that went on for twelve years. O Krishna! O immensely energetic one! You went to the sacred pilgrimage of Prabhasa, known to all pure ones, and stood there on one leg for one thousand divine years, practising austerities and observing rites. O Keshava! You are the supreme soul of all beings, their beginning and their end. O Krishna! You are the store of all austerities and sacrifices and you are the eternal one. O Krishna! You killed Naraka, famous as Bhoumya, the one with the earrings.7 You performed the first horse sacrifice. O bull among all the worlds! Having accomplished this deed, you became victorious over all the worlds. When all the daityas and danavas assembled together, you killed them in battle. O mightyarmed Keshava! You then gave lordship over everything to Shachi’s husband.8 You then manifested yourself in the world of men. O scorcher of enemies! You were Narayana and then you became Hari.9 You then became Brahma, Soma,10 Surya, Dharma, Dhata,11 Yama, Anala,12 Vayu,13 Vaishravana,14 Rudra, Kala,15 the sky, the earth and the directions. You are without birth. You are the preceptor of everything that moves and is still. You are the creator. You are the supreme being. O Krishna! You are the original god. In the forest of Chitraratha, you performed the turayana sacrifice16 and other sacrifices, donating large amounts of alms. You have great energy. O Janardana! At each sacrifice, you apportioned out one hundred times, according to the share, a hundred thousand gold pieces. O beloved of the Yadavas!17 You have been Aditi’s son. O illustrious one! You are now famous as Vishnu, Indra’s younger brother.18 O scorcher of enemies! O Krishna! While you were only a child, you used your energy to cover heaven, sky and earth in three steps.19 You have attained heaven. You ride the sky seated in the sun’s chariot. You are the soul of all beings. Through your radiance, you are brighter than the sun. The Mouravas and the Pashas have been destroyed.20 Nisunda and Naraka have been killed and the road to the city of Pragjyotisha has become safe again. Ahuti was killed at Jaruthi. Kratha, Shishupala and his followers, Bhimasena,21 Shaibya and Shatadhanva have been conquered. Your chariot is as resplendent as the sun and roars like the cloud. Riding on that, you defeated Rukmi in battle and obtained your queen from the Bhojas.22 In your anger, you killed Indradyumna and the yavana Kasheruman. You have killed Shalva, the lord of Soubha, and you brought down Soubha itself. On the banks of the Iravati, you killed Bhoja, who was the equal of Kartavirya in battle. You also killed Gopati and Talaketu. O Janardana! You journeyed to the ocean and made Dvaraka, sacred, prosperous and loved by the rishis, your own.23 O Madhusudana! O Dasharha!24 You show no anger, no jealousy and no falsehood. No cruelty or crookedness is established in you. O Achyuta!25 You are seated in the centre of the mind, radiant in your own energy. The rishis come to you there and ask for freedom from fear.26 O Madhusudana! You gather up all beings at the end of a yuga.27 O scorcher of enemies! You withdraw the entire universe into yourself and remain alone. No other one in the past has performed such deeds, nor will they in the future. O immensely radiant god! Such are the deeds you performed even when a child. O Pundarikaksha! Such are the deeds you performed with Baladeva’s help. You lived in the abode of Vairaja28 with Brahma himself.” Having thus spoken, the great-souled Pandava, who was like Krishna’s soul himself, fell silent. THIS CLEARLY, CLEARLY SHOWS HOW ARJUN KNEW SO MUCH ABOUT KRISHNA, MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE! AND IT IS ONLY POSSIBLE, WHEN YOU ARE AT PAR WITH KRISHNA'S DIVINITY! HE CLAIMS HE WAS NARAYAN, WHO HAD DONE EXTREME PENANCES IN BADRI! HOW WAS HE AWARE? HOW DID HE REMEMBER THAT KRISHNA WAS NARAAYAN IN HIS MORTAL BODY IF HE DID NOT HAVE GODLY ABILITIES?

‘Janardana then spoke to Partha, “You are mine and I am yours. All that is mine is yours too. He who hates you also hates me. He who follows you also follows me. O invincible one! You are Nara and I am Hari Narayana. We are the rishis Nara and Narayana, born from that world in this world. O Partha! O descendant of the Bharata lineage! You are no other than I. I am no other than you. O bull among the Bharata lineage! No one can know any difference that exists between us.”

Do you think Sri Krishna will tell this to someone randomly if he isn't equal to him? If Narayan was God, why couldn't be Nar? Krishna himself says I AM NO OTHER THAN YOU. Why will he say so if Arjun didn't have abilities as him? Nar and Narayan originated from Bhagawan Vishnu for God's sake! Then how is it possible that Narayan is God and Arjun isn't?

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PROVE THAT ARJUN WASN'T BHAGWAN? He is literally worshipped in temples are SRI ARJUN SWAMY and you dare question his credibility as a God?

Arjun was a devotee? He was! But does that snatch his credibility as a God? NEVER?

Wasn't Hanuman a devotee of Sri Ram? Do you guys not consider him as God?!

Do you guys understand what LEELA is? It was Krishna's decision always to let Arjun be the taker so that he can be the giver!

IFY, even obtaining Geeta needs so much knowledge! It's also not possible for everyone to take Geeta that too right from the God himself!

[frogletscribe]

Until It Doesn’t Hurt

Chapter 11: So Long and Lost

Summary:

20 years since the RDA was pushed off of the moon of Pandora, they are back once more. The RDA thinks their only problem is the traitor Jake Sully and his family, but as it turns out, Jake wasn’t the only ‘problem�� left behind 20 years ago. 

Anthe was a child soldier, stolen from their home and forced to learn the ways of the humans, erasing any of their connections to the Na’vi from before. Finally free from the RDA’s hold after being trapped in cryosleep, they're about to make themselves everyone's problem.

---

Tenak has entered the chat, Neteyam struggles to adapt, Anthe and Spider get bad news

_____________________________________________

Pairing: Aged Up!Neteyam X Nonbinary!Na'vi!Reader/OC (OC and Neteyam are both around 20)

Warnings: Mentions of Past Violence, Mentions of Past Trauma, Mild Claustrophobia, No Use of Y/N, Blood, Self-depreciation, Neglectful Parenting, Suggestive Themes, Mutual Pining, Hurt-Comfort, Found Family

WC: 3672 words. AO3 Link Here

A/N: Okay its been a sec! I graduated college (yaay) and also had my laptop and switch stolen in the same day (;~;) SO, this took me a minute to finish. Also thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging my doodles!

I feel like I should also note that I still have not played Frontiers of Pandora so, there are obviously going to be differences. I'm staying away from using too many explicit references, or else im gonna frustrate myself when i actually do get to play the game lol

{ } indicate speaking Na'vi

Masterlist

Previous Next

_____________________________________________

One of Tenak’s clearest memories of his childhood was the first time had met Anthe. He was thirteen years old, the oldest child to have been taken just a few years prior. There were only three others then, all between eight and eleven, and all looking to him for safety and guidance. Anthe arrived with three more children, nine years old and full of spite and fire. The others that came with them were even smaller, six and seven at most, clinging to Anthe’s legs, trying to hide from the strangers that had killed their families and stole them from their homes. 

Tenak watched through the classroom window with Kala, a girl from his village that had been stolen with him, waiting to see what would happen with this new group of Na’vi children. They watched the RDA soldiers try to drag Anthe and the other kids towards the classroom. The smaller children went more easily, still too scared to fight back, but not Anthe. Tenak watched the younger child kick and hiss at the soldiers. Teacher tried to step in, urging the soldiers to stop trying to force the child to go, but the soldiers were already angry, and Anthe was still kicking and cursing at anything that tried to get too close. 

So, Tenak made a choice. He left the classroom, pushing past Teacher and the soldiers and putting himself between them and the child. Someone tried to grab him, and drag him back into the classroom as well, but at thirteen Tenak was already taller and stronger than the human soldiers, and could easily brush them back. He stuck out a hand to who he would soon know to be Anthe, helping them back to their feet where the soldiers had pushed them down. They eyed him warily, as Teacher was frantically trying to keep the soldiers from escalating things further. 

“{Why do you dress like them?}” Anthe’s voice was small but accusatory. Tenak looked down at himself, clad in the TAP issue pants and shirt he wore. By contrast, this new child still wore their more traditional Na’vi clothes, a woven and beaded top with matching tewng.

“{They took my clothes.}” He said simply, his mother tongue feeling rusty in his own mouth. “{They will take yours too, and anything else you have.}” The child swallowed, curling in on themselves protectively.

“Hey! English only! You know the rules!” One of the soldiers grabbed Tenak by the arm, shouting in his face.

“They do not know English yet.” He hissed back through gritted teeth. “They are confused, and will not listen until they know what’s going on.” There was a moment of tension, Tenak staring down the soldier holding him, ears pinned back against his skull. 

“Then do your explaining back in the classroom.” The soldier finally relented, shoving the children towards the door. Anthe was less resistant this time, holding close to Tenak as he quietly ushered them into the room, Teacher close behind them. The three other new children were all huddled together around Kala, sniffling and sobbing into her shirt. She was only eleven, and already acting like a mother hen for all the younger children.

“Okay.” Teacher let out a shaky breath, closing the door behind her. “New agenda for the day, we are going to help our new friends get adjusted.” Her smile when she turned back to the eight Na’vi children did not meet her eyes, and Tenak could see the anxiety in the shake of her hands.

Over the next several hours, Tenak and Kala helped Teacher clean up and dress the new children in TAP uniforms. More soldiers came and went, taking away the children’s old clothes and songcords, but while there were many tears, this time there was less fighting. Anthe, as Tenak finally managed to get their name, refused to make a single sound or acknowledge anyone but him. Not once did they cry, only gritting their teeth and clenching their fists as even more was taken from them. That was the last day any of them were allowed to speak Na’vi freely and without punishment, the last day they had even the smallest taste of home, and the first day of the rest of their lives.

Ten years they stayed in TAP, losing their language and stories with the passage of time. Ten years trapped in a cage that turned them into weapons against their own people. All the younger ones were gone now and all that was left were Tenak, Kala, and Anthe. But, Anthe hadn’t woken up when he and Kala had. They had lost fifteen years of their lives to the cryopods and Anthe was still asleep.

 Every year, for the last five years, he had made a point of going back to TAP and checking on Anthe in their pod. When he and Kala had first woken up, Anthe’s pod was the only other one to have not gone completely dark already. They had tried everything they could think of to get their younger sibling out and nothing had worked. So Tenak took to waiting, going back as often as he could, waiting for Anthe to wake up. 

However, he had gotten caught up in the new RDA invasion, trying to protect the new friends and clans he had met in the Western Frontier of Pandora, and now Anthe was gone. Tenak had returned to where Kala was staying with the Aranahe clan in a panic, Pandora was a big place and their younger sibling could be anywhere. Kala was significantly calmer about the news, reassuring him that Anthe would find their way back to them. She had always been the wisest of their family and a mother figure to the younger of them. 

“They are strong, Tenak. Anthe knows how to take care of themselves.”

“But they are alone! And you know they hate about being around strangers. They’re not going to stay with another clan.” Tenak knew Anthe too well, and knew their anxiety about being an outsider. He had struggled with it as well before he and Kala had met the clans in the west.

“We don’t know that. There are many clans, it's entirely possible that they found a safe place to stay.”

But where Kala was a calm and patient voice to soothe him, Tenak’s own inner voice was the exact opposite. Within two days, Tenak was searching every clan in the area, using an old photograph of the two of them he carried with him to ask if anyone had seen Anthe. The longer he searched the more stressed he got, especially knowing that the RDA was back, leaving Anthe in more danger because of it. 

Now, Tenak was practically a year into his search, and there was still no sign of his younger sibling. Kala stayed behind with the Aranahe, just in case they popped up, but Tenak set his sights for the East. There were a number of clans in that direction, as well as the new RDA headquarters if his intel was right. If Anthe was there then Tenak would find them, no matter what it took.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The Metkayina Clan at Awa’atlu were kind to the Sully’s for the most part. The first few weeks in the reef village were tense, but with help from the Olo’eyktan and his family, mostly his daughter Tsireya, the family was brought quickly into the larger community. Neteyam’s siblings seemed to take to the ways of the water quickly, but the same could not be said for Neteyam himself. Where once he excelled in every aspect of his life, now he floundered. He struggled to master the breathing techniques Tsireya taught them, and grew frustrated by his slow pace in the water. It was not helped by Ao’nung, Tsireya’s older brother, and his taunting. Neteyam hadn’t wanted to leave home in the first place, but he needed to stay strong for the rest of his family. There was no room for Neteyam to mourn. 

Now he sat on the sandy beach, watching his siblings joke with each other and their new friends. Kiri and Tuk were building a sandcastle with Tsireya, while Rotxo was play-fighting in the serf with Ao’nung. Lo’ak had run off in a huff earlier, upset that no one believed that his new Tulkun friend was not the killer they believed it to be. At least his younger brother was no longer fighting with Ao’nung. It was a good development, especially given the recent fight the Sully brothers had had with the Metkayina man and his friends. Neteyam licked the healing cut on his lip at the memory, wincing as it still stung. Neteyam was still pissed at Ao’nung himself, even if his brother had apparently forgiven him.  After the fight, when Lo’ak had attempted to make peace, Ao’nung had almost gotten Lo’ak killed, abandoning the younger man outside the reef in Akula territory. At least, there was no more fighting or insults being thrown.

Neteyam thought now, as he did often, of Anthe, wondering if they were okay, if they had escaped the RDA or were still there with Spider. If they were even still alive. He thumbed softly at the hilt of Anthe’s knife, the only thing he had left of them besides the gifts he never got the chance to give them. Neteyam had finished the knife he made for them, and kept it wrapped up with his belongings, and the clothes Kiri had made for them, hiding it from view. No one had tried talking to him about Anthe since they left the Omaticaya except Kiri, who did her best to reassure him that they would be fine, wherever they were. Even his parents seemed to avoid the subject, as if they had never existed, as if they had never spent the better part of a year in the family's company. 

He thought back to their last conversation, how Anthe could believe they weren’t worthy of safety or belonging within the Omatikaya. The thought that they couldn’t ever belong. At the time, he found it hard to understand. He couldn’t see how just having a different upbringing could make a person feel so separate from those around him. Unwelcome. Outsider. But, Neteyam understood it now. He felt it, here with the Metkayina, where none of his previous skills had value, and he was no longer the eldest son of the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya. Just another demon blooded outsider. Kiri and Lo’ak had it even worse too, he knew that, even back home they had struggled. Neteyam felt like he had no right to feel this pain now, while his siblings had felt it their entire lives. At least he had his family, all together, all safe, going through the same things with him. Anthe was just alone, not knowing if their family was even alive. No wonder nothing he said had helped. No wonder they had left him when he couldn’t even understand that much. 

“{‘Teyam?}” Kiri’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, back to the beach. 

“{Kiri, hey.}” Neteyam shook himself, pocketing the knife again.

“{Are you alright?}” Kiri asked, plopping herself down beside him, and leaning close.

“{I’m fine.}” He shrugged, not looking at his younger sister.

“{Come on, Neteyam, don’t be like that.}” Kiri frowned, nudging Neteyam in the side. “{You’re worried aren’t you?}” Neteyam just shrugged again, leaning into Kiri a bit.

“{I’m fine, Kiri, I promise.}”

“{But you’re not! I know you miss Anthe and your home sick, we all are.}”

“{Kiri.}” He sighed, “{You really do not need to worry about me, I will be fine, I’m just…}”

“{Sad. You’re sad, and heart broken, and I know you would rather wallow in it but I don’t accept that. I miss Spider more than anything, but we have to trust that they will be okay. They will come back.}” Kiri spoke, holding Neteyam’s face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. Of course he knew she was right, just as she usually was. Neteyam let out a heavy sigh, slumping into his sister’s hands and letting his face squash in her palms. Kiri smiled, pinching her older brother's cheeks with a soft chuckle.

 “{Tsireya said she got her mother's permission to take us to the Spirit Tree here, you should come with us. Please, come with us.}”

“{Okay.}” Neteyam nodded finally, letting Kiri drag him back to his feet.

“{Is he coming?}” Tuk hollered, seeing her older siblings approach where she and Tsireya sat.

“{Should we try to find Lo’ak too?}”Tsireya looked to Kiri, worried expression on her soft features. The Metkayina girl had grown close with Neteyam’s younger brother, who in turn had a very obvious crush on her as well. 

“{I’m not sure he really wants to be around us yet. We can bring him next time.}” Kiri sighed.

It didn't take long for the group to reach the Metkayina’s underwater Spirit Tree, but the sun was still setting quickly in the distance. Ao’nung had excused himself before the group had left, leaving Tsireya and Rotxo to guide Neteyam and his sisters. Even from atop the waves, the view of the glowing tree below them was breathtaking. Tuk was standing excitedly on the back of Kiri’s Ilu, eager to jump straight in, while Tsireya explained that she and Rotxo would act as the Sully’s dive partners to keep them safe while they connected to the tree.

    One by one they each slipped from the backs of their Ilu and dove down into the water. Neteyam could see that Kiri especially seemed excited. She had prayed at the Brother Tree back in their home forest all the time, and was deeply spiritual compared to Neteyam and the rest of his siblings. This would be the first time in months that she could connect to Eywa again since they left. Rotxo brought Tuk to one coral-like branch of the tree while Tsireya led Neteyam and Kiri to their own, encouraging them to connect. He could see why his little brother could be falling for such a sweet girl. Carefully, he reached back for his kuru, watching the pink tendrils hidden beneath the end of his braid eagerly reach for the tree as he brought them to the branch and closed his eyes.

Neteyam was back in the forest, familiar and warm, in an area he knew quite well. He followed the small path to the pond he had brought Anthe to so long ago. It was just as he remembered, the afternoon light bleeding softly through the tree canopy above, glittering across the shifting pool like gems. It felt calm there, peaceful in a way Neteyam missed. But something still felt like it was missing, beyond just the fact that Neteyam knew he wasn’t actually there. It was calm, but it was also lonely, the lack of Anthe’s presence making itself known. 

Homesick, heartbroken, hopeless, Neteyam felt all of it. At least here, he could actually let himself feel it, finally someplace private without fear of interruption. The last time he had tried to have a moment to himself, it had been cut off by the admission from Ao’nung that Lo’ak had been abandoned out in open water, and Neteyam had been scolded for not being there to stop it. Here that wouldn’t happen, he could just be alone and feel as sad as he needed to without being a burden to anyone. It was cathartic, right up until the flashing started, suddenly pulling Neteyam from the connection, back to reality. Neteyam shook his head, trying to orient himself as Tsireya rushed past him, towards where he saw Kiri convulsing, seizing under the water.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

 “We found something.” Quaritch grinned at the group of Recoms standing around the conference room, and Anthe felt their heart drop to the pit of their stomach. There was a chorus of whooping and cheers from the soldiers around them, but Spider was stock still and pale as a ghost. Anthe did their best not to show their dread, forcing a grin and high five when Ja turned towards them to celebrate.

“We got a helicopter ping headed in the direction of this cluster of islands.” The Colonel pointed out on a holographic map, showing an area to the South West of their current location. 

“Ardmore is sending us to the RDA coastal base, here.” He pointed to an area more immediately west of Bridgehead. “Where we will catch a ride to search the islands.”

“Colonel.” Anthe managed, doing their best to seem as neutral as possible. They had only just been released from their ‘probation’, their ankle tracker finally removed, and one step closer to getting out. 

“What is it, private?”

“Are we sure it’s them? You said all that was left back at the original RDA base were scientists, could it just be a research team or something?”

“It’s possible.” Quaritch nodded. “But it's still a lead to Sully. If it's anything good, then maybe you’ll get some use outta that rifle of yours, too. Speaking of-” Quaritch motioned over to a grinning Lyle who excitedly pulled a familiar large shape from behind his back, handing it to Anthe.

“You get your piece back!” The recom grinned, clapping a hand on Anthe’s shoulder. Anthe was quick to check over the rifle, it was cleaner than they expected with a new strap, but undamaged and otherwise unchanged. The weapons' familiar weight in their hands brought with it a sense of safety Anthe hadn’t truly felt in a while, that made the smile that crossed their face feel that much more genuine. They held it close, nodding a quiet thanks to Lyle as he crossed back to his place at the Colonel’s side.

“Right.” Quaritch coughed, regaining the room's attention, an air of smugness about him that suggested he was pleased with Anthe’s reaction. “We leave in one hour, so get your shit together and be ready to go. Anthe, make sure the kid doesn’t break anything while we load up. Dismissed.”

As soon as Quaritch said the word, Anthe was half dragging Spider out of the conference room, back to their dorm. The rifle was comfortably back on their shoulder right where it belonged. Spider was silent, his hands balled into tight fists as Anthe pulled him into their room, locking the door behind them. They turned back to the man slowly, standing stock still in the middle of the room. 

“{Spider-}” Anthe started, moving towards their friend.

“{Do you think it’s them?}” Spider suddenly spun towards them, eyes panicked.

“{I don’t know.}” 

“{It can’t be them right? There shouldn’t be any reason for a helicopter to go find them unless… unless something went wrong.}” He was spiraling, eyes darting around as he was definitely imagining the worst possible reasons for the Sully’s to suddenly need a helicopter. 

“{Spider, look at me.}” Anthe knelt, tossing the rifle on the bed.

“{Something is wrong, something has to be wrong! What if someone is hurt? Lo’ak or Kiri- What if-}”

“{Spider!}” Anthe grabbed both sides of his face, forcing him to look at them. “{We won’t know until we can get out of here, okay? I need you to breathe, deep breathes.}” They placed a palm on his chest, which Spider quickly grabbed onto, trying to anchor himself. Anthe guided him in taking deep, slow breathes, until the man's heart was no longer beating so erratically under their hand.

“{Thinking up worst case scenarios is not going to help anyone right now.}”  Anthe spoke again, once Spider had somewhat calmed, and they were both sat on the cold floor of the dorm. 

“{Those idiots just gave me back my gun, and they took off the ankle tracker. All we need now is to get rid of your tracker, and find an opportunity to get out of here. If the Sully’s are on one of those islands, then the sooner we get out and warn them, the better. Okay?}”

“{Okay.}” Spider said nodding, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“{We won’t let anyone get hurt. I promise.}”

An hour later Anthe and Spider were on one of Bridgeheads roofs with the rest of the Recoms, securing their few belongings onto Anthe’s ikran before they flew out to the RDA coastal base. Spider remained quiet, largely giving everyone but Anthe the cold shoulder. Quaritch kept looking over at them, something like concern playing on his hard features. 

“Okay, Ted. Ready to go?” Anthe said quietly as they mounted their Ikran, the aforementioned Ted, who shuddered lightly as Anthe bonded to her. They leaned over, reaching a hand out to Spider and hoisting him up into their lap when he took it. 

“I still can’t believe you named her Ted.” Spider scoffed, setting himself more comfortably against their front, while Anthe made final adjustments before take off.

“Ted is a fine name, and it's better than ‘Cupcake’,” Anthe smiled, gesturing to where Quaritch was mounting up, making Spider snicker. “Or whatever Lyle named his. What was it again? Manly Barber?” 

“Malibu Barbie!” Lyle shouted from the back of his mount, sounding offended.

“Why?” Spider asked, not bothering to hide his incredulousness.

“She’s pink!” Lyle gestured to the creature's bright pink and yellow markings. Anthe and Spider looked at eachother, sharing confused shrugs.

“I don’t get it.” Anthe shook their head back at Lyle, who groaned in frustration.

“Barbie! The fashion icon! How do you not know this?!”

“I think it’s an earth thing.” Spider frowned up at Anthe, who was feeling increasingly confused.

“Wainfleet! Quit screwing around! We ready to go?” Quaritch shouted over the bickering. There was a small chorus of ‘yessir’s from the recoms, all mounted and ready on their Ikran. Quaritch signaled take off, launching into the air and taking the lead as Anthe and the other soldiers followed.

[everharrt]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

In his most original creation, 10 years ago, Esmé was attached to a witch named Alice. He was charged with protecting her and his soul was bonded with hers. He fell deeply in love with her. I will always have a soft place in my heart for that ship, and if Alice's writer is out there somewhere I wish them nothing but happy days and to know I think about those two so very often.

As for presently - I only have 2 ships established on Esmé currently and I am deeply adoring both of them.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

This will always be on a case-by-case scenario. Esmé is 35 minimum in his canon, pending younger for verses. In canon the most I would be comfortable would be perhaps 10 years? I feel as if a fresh twenty year old has a lot to learn and can too easily be exploited by older partners, so I'd like to steer away from inciting any of that dynamic or presentation. I can easily see him being involved with someone older than he is, however. There's not really a limit upward from 35. But again, it's all case-by-case, depending on the muses involved and the dynamic.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

I can be. Mostly I look for chemistry with the muses and chemistry writing. We don't have to know each other intimately out of character --- the aforementioned mun who wrote Alice and I did not speak much out of character aside from dynamics on the occasion (things that reminded us of the muses) but we gelled very well with how we wrote and the chemistry was there. It really comes down to writing styles and interest in the ship itself. If one side is giving more than the other and it's obvious that they aren't really interested, it's easy to lose the feel in general.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

I'm open to anything, mostly. No taboo topics, nothing squicky, and Esmé is a bit pickier with his partners / who he has interest in but if all of the right boxes are checked I'll give it a whirl.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

All you have to say is "I ship this, do you?" I don't require much more, and a lot of people are shy or misread things. Just for clarification, sure. And if I don't see the ship that doesn't mean I won't in the future - it just likely means we need to write or discuss the dynamic more.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I won't say obsessed but I'm tired of tiptoeing and pretending I'm not interested in ships of all kinds. Character relationships are what drive our development at the end of the day. So I'd say in-between, ship favorable.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

I'm not in any particular fandom but some favorite ships are: Spike and Julia from Cowboy Bebop, Kerrigan and Raynor from Starcraft, Ana Amari and Reinhardt from Overwatch, Fiona and Sean from Shameless, Wolfgang and Kala from Sense8.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Establish a dynamic of some sort and ask.

I stole this! Feel free to steal it and tag me if you'd like.

[fangirlshrewt97]

Tale As Old As Time... (Part 12)

Could it be? Did this girl finally get her shit together enough to actually get back to the work everyone was waiting for so long that they are over it because of how long she took to get back to it?

Look guys, I have no idea when my next update will be, but I do have the entire story plotted out and am determined to see it though, so I kindly ask you to be patient and bear with me. 

For all the anticipation, this chapter might be a little slow, but. um. Good things come to those who wait? I know I have made you wait A LONG TIME, but you have trusted me to come back to this story. 

Also apologies if the chapter is a little rough, I am trying to get back into the groove of the story. 

So, without further ado...

Full work on Ao3 is here

(Previous Chapter)

///

Welcome back my dear. Last we left our protagonists, they were sharing a bed in slumber, the first step in their journey together formed between their intertwined hands. Now the time is coming to see whether this seed will blossom, and what it will bloom into.

///

Jai blinked his eyes open lazily, nuzzling into the black head of hair resting against his shoulder. The scent of sandalwood comforted him into sinking into it. He curled himself from his back to his side, one leg brushing another’s.

The action had him snapping his eyes open as the world came into focus with dizzying speed.

He was in Kala Bhairava's room.

In his bed.

And Kala Bhairava was curled into his side, face smushed into Jai's arm.

Jai's brain may have been difficulty processing this information, but one half of Jai's body did not. It felt his the nerves of his arm in particular were directly connected to his lower half, the way each brush of Kala Bhairava’s eyelashes against his arm, or the soft exhales of his breaths against his skin sent frissons of static down his spine. Taking a controlled breath, Jai tried to put some space between them.

He didn't get very far. He had barely moved a few inches before a small whine from Bhairava rooted him to the spot, seeing if his bedmate would awaken. The space allowed him a better view of the other man's face.

The room was illuminated by faint tendrils of light, though very little made it past the canopy curtains. Extending his free hand to part the curtain, Jai inhaled sharply.

Even the small light seemed very bright after the darkness of the bed, with the rays casting a glow to Kala Bhairava's figure.

Bhairava.

The man had asked him to call him Bhairava last night.

As memories of the previous night flooded back in, Jai was torn between mild mortification at having come to Bhairava's room at that hour of night, and a stronger sense of accomplishment.

As he pictured their kiss, he could feel the phantom weight of another body, of fingers curling into his hair. He clenched his fists tight enough for his nails to bite into the flesh of his palm, trying to will his body under control.

Jai had taken bedmates before, spent the night in arms of both men and women. And yet.

And yet.

As usual, Bhairava had made every experience feel new, so much more intense than Jai could recall feeling with any other.

In the early dawn light, the other man's face was serene. He looked younger. Softer. There was none of the fear or hesitation Jai often saw in faces.

But Bhairava had never looked at him in fear. Hadn't that been what had piqued his interest in the first place?

Curiosity, surprise, shock, confusion. Even wonder.

But not fear.

Jai pulled back his hand, letting the curtain fall to plunge the pair in darkness again. The wave of want that hit him was new. Unexpected.

This man was driving Jai out of his mind, and entirely unaware of it.

Reaching out in the dark, Jai barely laid his fingers on Bhairava's hair, softly running down their length. Bhairava seemed to melt against him.

Jai needed to get out of here.

He needed to leave before Bhairava woke.

He would be expected at the palace shrine for his daily prayers, and he couldn't let the servants find his bed undisturbed. Gossip travelled faster than air within these walls.

Decision made, Jai slowly but surely pulled himself away from Bhairava. An eternity of five minutes, Jai was hyper aware of every point of contact between them. Bhairava's brows furrowing as he tried to tighten his grip nearly undid Jai. However, Jai managed to extract himself and slipped out of the curtain. Just before the cloth fell, he glanced back to see Bhairava's frown as he rolled into the space left by Jai, pressing his face into the pillow Jai had used.

Jai left the room quietly, walking quickly through the back passages till he reached his own room. Slipping in, he breathed in relief that he had not run into anyone.

He went and laid on his bed, knowing a servant would come in a minute to prepare his bath. And his timing was perfect, no sooner had he closed the curtains of his canopy, did he hear the servant's door being opened and water being poured in.

As he laid there, he pressed a finger to his lips. The kiss had been so much more than he had expected.

He sat up with his back to the headboard.

With his eyes closed he could feel Bhairava climbing onto his lap. The way their first kiss had been a barely there brush of the lips. The way Jai's fingers remember the shape of Bhairava's waist. The warring lust and nervousness in Bhairava's voice as he requested they just sleep.

The way a finger had hesitantly brushed his hand in the dark.

How their hands intertwined so naturally between them, as if they were made to be held together.

Jai's earlier lust faded into a deeper yearning.

What if he had stayed? Would Bhairava have been embarrassed? What would those deep brown eyes look like as they fluttered awake?

Would he have allowed Jai to kiss him? To do more? To press him onto his back, bracketing him between his hips. For Jai's fingers to tangle in those black locks as his other hand slipped beneath the thin kurta he had been wearing.

The clicking locks of the servant's doors brought Jai back to the present. Pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead, he exhaled. He needed to get a grip.

Discarding his borrowed clothes (but not before running his fingers over where the seams had split; Bhairava gripping it so tight he tore it) Jai entered the bath. He sank into the warm water, tension seeping away from his muscles. Running his hands slowly down his chest, across his legs and back again.

He grabbed the scented oils, setting about bathing himself.

///

"Om Nama Sivaya" Jai finished his prayers, opening his eyes to watch as the priest brought the aarthi from the inner sanctum.

He reached out to hover his hands over the fire, pressing then to his hands, and repeating the motion twice more. A second priest held a silver bowl with theertha, sacred Tulsi water, which he poured a spoonful of into Jai's cupped palm. Drinking the water, Jai closed his eyes once more, pressing his palms together against his chest.

Bowing to the Shivaling, he rose from the short wooden bench.

He nodded once to the priests, who bowed to him.

Jai exited the shrine to find Kaakha waiting for him.

"Is it urgent Kaakha, or may we have our morning meal?" Jai said plainly.

Kaakha bowed. "It can wait a short while Maharaj."

The pair made their way to the royal wing, entering the dining room just in time to see Kusa throw a chikku fruit at Lava. Jai growled, making both brothers stiffen and scramble to their feet.

"Annayya!" "Jai!"

"I've meet st-street children with better manners than you two."

Lava ducked his head ashamed, while Kusa, as expected, tossed his head in the air. "Lava started it."

"I highly doubt it." Jai said drily as he took his seat at the head of the table. Kaakha sat down beside Lava.

"When did you come Annayya? I didn't hear the drums announcing your arrival." Lava asked softly, extending the platter of chutney for his brother.

"Near midnight." Jai grunted as he served himself.

That seemed to be a cue to pause further conversation. Of course his brothers could not actually be held to those standards. Barely a few minutes passed before Jai became aware of the unsubtle head tilts and glances being traded between the pair.

He placed his goblet of water more forcefully on the table, the bang making both of them jump. "What?"

Lava gulped as he ran a finger around the length of his collar. Kusa glared at him and spoke. "We met your little soldier friend."

Jai resisted facepalming. With everything that had occurred during his trip, he had forgotten about the meal between his brothers and Bhairava. Keeping his voice neutral, he asked. "And?"

"Looks like a girl." Kusa said. "Hey!"

Lava had obviously kicked him (successfully hitting his target this time). "Bhairava garu seems very nice, Annayya. Will he be staying with us for longer?"

Jai felt his eye twitch as he considered the consequences of stabbing Kusa. Not to kill. Maybe his upper thigh, he'd certainly been stuffing himself enough to have adequate padding.

"Indefinitely."

Lava and Kusa exchanged glances. “And…what is he going to be doing?”

Jai resolutely kept his eyes away from Kaakha.

"Did you behave?" Jai asked instead. There were too many feeling knotting together in his chest to make sense of presently.

"Obviously." Kusa retorted.

Jai's hand twitched. What the hell had Kusa said to Bhairava?

Draining the rest of his water, Jai signaled  for the servants to bring the water bowls.

Soaking his fingers, Jai dried his hands on the towel the servant held. "Thank you Bhagesh."

Bhagesh bowed deeply. "It is my honor Maharaj."

Jai rose from his seat, only to pause when the kitchen doors swung open to reveal Arunama. "Maharaj!"

Jai's lips twitched. "Arunama. Can I d-do something for you?"

She pointed her ever present knife at Kusa, who shrunk back against the table. "Can you feed him to the snakes?"

Jai shook his head. "I cannot risk them getting indigestion."

"Hey!" Kusa protest was muffled by Lava slapping his hand over his mouth and trying to sit on him.

Arunama harrumphed. "Fine, then I need two more batches of vegetables to prepare for the Rajyasabha."

Jai nodded, turning to Kaakha. "Make the necessary arrangements Kaakha." Kaakha bowed. "Of course Maharaj."

"Anything e-else?"

Arunama shook her head. "Any requests for lunch Maharaj?"

"Whatever you decide will be more than sa-satisfactory."

Arunama smile, pride radiating around her. "Thank you Maharaj."

///

As Jai let the arguments between Charuvat-manthri and Goopeswaran-manthri fade to the background, Jai once again pondered why he had felt the urge to go to see Bhairava last night.

They had disguised the trip as a routine trip through Jai's provinces, but their real goal had been the small area governed by Sarkar-manthri. 

Jai had fought to hide his disgust at how the people there had all been skin and bones, hairs hanging limply as further signs of their malnutrition. Even as his subjects all came to see him as he rode up to the manthri's mansion, he noticed the children with the tattered clothing and the distended bellies. Had noticed how unlike the children of the capital that looked at him with wonder, these children shrunk away and cowered in fear. He noticed the barely held back contempt in the eyes of the adults.

The initial bad taste in his mouth had only grown worse as he was ushered to a grand feast that had been prepared in his honor. So much food hoarded to fill greedy stomachs as young souls starved outside his walls. And the attitude of the manthri himself, obsequious to the point of disgust. How he spoke in double edged comments, a compliment and an insult wrapped in one.

When one of the servants, a young woman who appeared more a girl, had accidentally dropped a platter of nuts, the man had hit her with his cane. It was only Kaakha's biting grip on his arm that kept him from throttling the man in return.

That night, he had been fuming as Kaakha had reiterated how important it was to keep the manthri from guessing they knew of his desire to oust Jai from his throne. While far from the only manthri acting against him, they had determined Sarkar was the pack leader. They could not figure out what the man’s end goals were though, for all that he was greedy and craved wealth, even he would realize he was ill-suited to governing. He was far too lazy for all the responsibilities the crown bore.

No, it was better to pretend they were ignorant of the conspiracies running through his court. Until they had solid evidence and a better idea of all the players in the game, it would be reckless and foolish to confront Sarak directly now.

The following few days had been a similar ordeal of patience, with Jai grinding his teeth enough to give himself headaches. He knew he had asked for the 'Raavana' reputation to be spread beyond their borders, but it galled him that even within his own lands, his people looked at him in fear.

Easier to manipulate people to turn against a king they believed to be the cause of their misfortunes, after all.

By the time it was their day of departure, Jai was ready to crawl out of his skin, given how much anger he was keeping pent up. Kaakha had tried to suggest perhaps they should delay their return until the building storm had passed, but one glance at Jai's wild look had him keeping his mouth shut.

Jai had held back until they had crossed out of the manthri's lands before pressing hard on Ahilan’s side, and torn down the path. It was unwise to leave his retinue behind when he was technically still not in friendly territory but he almost hoped some assassin would try their mettle against him at that point.

Some bloodshed might provide relief for the storm beneath his skin.

He had been severe on Ahilan, pushing him till the animal was almost collapsing. Only catching his breath as Ahilan struggled with his, Jai had led them to the nearby river and let the animal drink water and rest. They waited till his retinue caught up with him, and Jai listened to Kaakha's scolding with a twinge of shame. He had covered more ground during his mad dash than he'd expected, and if they could maintain a steady trot, could be in the palace by nightfall.

Of course the sky had decided to come falling down on them in the last stretch to the palace, in the open road. With no other option the riders had continued till they reached the palace well past the middle of the night.

By then most of the anger had been banked, transforming into a bone deep weariness. He could not recall actively handing the reins of Ahilan to one of the stablehands, nor how his feet carried him to a bedroom that wasn't his own. He did remember the way Bhairava had pressed a blade to his throat, and how his voice had broken through the fog in Jai's brain.

"-raj? Maharaj!" Kaakha hissed sharply, similarly bringing Jai back to the present. Kaakha looked at him with a curious expression, but Jai focused on the scene in front of him. Clearing his throat, he spoke. "Well? Has an agree-," Jai paused to swallow the stammer in his tongue, "-ment been reached?"

Both ministers looked mullish but they nodded begrudgingly. Jai sighed. If only he could actually order them as he wished. Or this squabble didn’t inevitably cause problems in another few weeks. "Very well. I will see you at the Rajyasabha."

The ministers bowed deeply and exited the meeting chambers. Kaakha, to his credit, waited until the guards had also filed out before rounding on him. "I came to check on you last night. Your bed was empty. What did you do?"

Jai's eyes narrowed. "Spying on me, Kaakha?"

Kaakha bristled. "Quite the contrary, Maharaj. I'm your chief advisor. It's my duty to know of your location and safety at all times. After the ... unfortunate horse incident yesterday, I assumed you'd go straight to bed."

"I did."

Now it was Kaakha's turn to narrow his eyes. "And where might that be, may I know?"

Jai shrugged. "It's not important. I'm going to see Ahilan now."

"But Maharaj!" Kaakha cried out to his back. Jai quickened his pace. He knew he was being unreasonable, and Kaakha was right to be anxious. But all he wanted to do was get away from all these politics for a bit.

And maybe find some more ... pleasing company.

///

Notes:

“Om Nama Sivaya” - The mantra is the ultimate prayer to Lord Shiva, translating roughly to “Salutations to Lord Shiva”

Aarthi -  Hindu ritual employed in worship, often part of puja, in which fire/light is offered to one or more deities.

Theertham - Sacred water offered to devotees, often infused with tulsi (mint) leaves 

Shivling or Shiva Lingam - The Linga idol is the most common way in which Lord Shiva is represented in worship.

Manthri - Minister

Rajyasabha - Gathering held by the king with all their ministers

///

@rambheem-is-real @budugu @bromance-minus-the-b @hissterical-nyaan @obsessedtoafault @hufhkbgg @yehsahihai @rorapostsbl @fangirl-from-discord @fadedscarlets @alikokinav @chaotic-moonlight @rambheemisgoated @rambheemlove @jaganmaya @burningsheepcrown @lovingperfectionwonderland @rosayounan @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @thewinchestergirl1208 @dumdaradumdaradum @ronaldofandom @jjwolfesworld @jrntrtitties @kashpaymentsonly @jeonmahi1864 @stanleykubricks @m3gs1mps4a @tulodiscord @teddybat24 @sally-for-sally @ssabriel @jadebomani @stuckyandlarrystuff @veteran-fanperson @ohfuckoffpls @bheemaxrama @chaidrivenwhore

[steeiydan]

30 DAY MONSTERBOY CHALLENGE x OC-OCTOBER 2024 - DAY 9 - Demon

alright, this is just a mild redesign of an OC i made in i believe 2015?? not super demonic looking aside from the horns, but meh lmao you know i like my demons really human looking!

meet Kala!

Kala - 19 (chronologically 29, Demons age differently)

A meek, introverted Demon who actually is part of the royal family, as he is one of the sons of one of the Emperor's siblings. Despite that, he lacks much of the haughtiness the rest of family has, and he's rather down to earth.

Usually, he's buried somewhere inside of the castle, reading, and he is really interested in human cultures in the human world, though he doesn't really visit it a lot since he's .. well, meek. Despite being skilled with magic, he just doesn't have that limitless bravado and recklessness other Demons have, he's smarter than that lmao Still basically immortal of course, but he doesn't want to deal with the stress that it could cause.

He gets along well with the younger sons of the Emperor, and some of his other cousins, as well as his brothers. When he's not reading, he likes to hang out in the Imperial gardens to study the plants there, or hang out with dryads (who are pretty chill, and sessile ones tend to appreciate company lol)

Kala usually wears underwear and oversized tops only at home, outside he tends to wear finer clothes because he IS a noble lmao

[swirlzzzzz]

Queen to be

Chapter 2

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉♱﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

Aristocratic is home to the two girls. It is a planet and a member of the Circle. The Circle is made up of four remaining plants ln their region of the universe. They are named Vying, Commiseration, Mips, and Aristocratic. Each planet is held together by its rulers, but these rulers can not make any big important decisions without the councial. Commiseration, the first planet, is a place full of fields and flowers. The queen of this plant, Anana Lovely, has a younger son named Griffin Lovely and an older daughter named Flora Lovely. Griffin is 1200 years old, and Flora is 157,0 years old. Living on this planet, small cottage-like houses are most common. Citizens of Commiseration make a good income working in flower shops, bakeries, or local bookshops is fairly sunny, there happens to be wind most of the time. clothing worn would be flowy dresses that end before your ankles, or right under your knees worn with a sweater or baggy dress pants with an undershirt and a sweater. Flower prints are most common and wearing small jewelry. Fields of flowers can be found almost anywhere along with small streams and ponds.

The second plant is Vying. The queen and king Maximus Champion and Akeeva Champion, are strong competitive leaders. They have two children, a son named Ajeeta Champion and a daughter names Ajeitha Champion. Ajeeta is 162,5 and Ajeitha is 103,o. Vying is quite different from the other plants in many aspects. They are far more advanced in technology than the others and are considered more city-like. Vying is quite rainy or moist most of the time. The rain in Vying is acidic. Experiencing this rain a good amount shouldn't affect you much but since the citizens live in and experience this rain daily they must take perceptions. Vying is a very populated place and work is scarce. Working for the royal family is what most people do. But it is not that hard to provide for yourself by fixing and building devices and gadgets. Living spaces are renovated garages and big buildings on top of each other. Fashion is unique to every person. Tight full-bodysuit clothing made out of rubber is worn to protect them from the weather conditions. The suite has padding and comes in variety of colors, and various choices of accessories. Most of the citizens take up hobbies like hoverboarding the suites also help protect them from these dangerous activities. Regular clothing can be worn over the suites as well.

Mips is the third plant. The queen and king are Kala Flower and Charles Flower the ll. Their son is Charles Flower the lll. He is 152,0. If you live in Mips then you are probably a farmer. Mips is one of the poorer planets so it is smart to farm your own food. Painters make good money because the Royals of Mips have a love for art. There is usually rain off and on in Mips so it is a muddy planet. Swamp land can be found further from where the people live. Dress attire is long dresses, pants, handmade shirts, warm wool coats, and big sweaters. Earthy colors are the most common. People live on their own land with farms or in the village near the castle.

Now where our story is focused is the fourth plant, Aristocratic. Last but not least their queen is Azrael Storm. Her two daughters are Mealva Strom and Regina Storm. Mealva is 180,9 and Regina is 151,6. Having jobs like a banker, train worker, shoemaker, tailor, or seamstress would make a good living. Victorian houses are the style to live in. Most houses are close together. It always seems cold there no matter what time of year it is. Snow decorates the tops of the houses. Gothic Victorian is the style people of this plant dress in. Most popularly seen clothing would include short dresses with a waistline that ends under the chest, vest suits, corsets, fluffy fur coats, belled sleeves, big chunky shoes like mary Jane and boots, lace, velvet, and silk are often worn fabrics. The planet has an enormous ocean because of this pirates' rome this planet's seas. This is the main reason why people never come to Aristocratic…along with plenty of others.

The two girls enter the castle they are followed by two guards as they begin to take their journey to the throne room, where their mother sits, Queen Azrael Storm, waiting for her two daughters to arrive. As they enter the dead silent room the enormous door shuts behind them making a loud thud. The walls have a black wallpaper with dark purple flowers. If you look up you can see that the roof is round and made of black stained glass. Through the glass you can see vines covering it. At the back of the room sits the extravagant throne with purple cushions, the rest is black, skulls of animals and humans surround the tall chair, two swords sit at the side of her. The children get to their knees in front of the woman staring into their soul they then bow.

“How did the training go?” said the queen, quickly looking at Regina's leg and then turning her gaze to Malva.

“Exceptionally! well on my end though for Regina, i could say otherwise”

“I won!” the dark-haired girl spoke up.

“No no, you cheated”

“It’s not cheating it-”

“Ugh, you are giving me a HEADACHE! now By cheating you mean….what?”

“Regina used her powers…again.” spoke Malva

“Oh, my sweet daughter… how many times must I tell you that just because you have an advantage does not mean you need to use it?! Malvaa leave shoo.” said the queen as she waved her hand back and forth.

The girl got up off her knees and walked out of the room, stopping for a moment to glance behind herself as she closed the big doors behind her. Azrael was massaging the side of her forehead as she stared up at Regina still on her knees. The queen widened her eyes, then rolled them.

“Up my daughter I have something to show you.” The queen then stood up from her throne and began to walk out of the room Regina followed not far behind, and four guards followed two in front and two in the back. The two women walked out the doors of the throne room down dark hallways only lit by candles mounted on the walls that seem to never go out. They took left and then right. It's quite easy to get lost in the castle these women called home. Finally, they came to a round wide black door with carvings in it. In the middle of the door was a circle with a hole where a key would go. The Queen stepped forward. She took out a knife from her bra and slit her thumb then put her thumb up against the small keyhole, she sucked her thumb clean as the door opened. The guards stood outside the room as Regina and her mother walked in. In the middle of this small room stood a rectangular table made out of black stone with symbols carved into it.

“Well Regina you do know how old you are now don't you.”

“no mother enlighten me.”

Regina knew what her mother was going to discuss, a boy, not any boy Regina happened to know a boy of the plant Mips well in fact he is the prince of the neighboring planet. She had heard it all before a few hundred years back her mother and the boy's parents had agreed for the two children to get married. Though last time Regina checked she is not legally allowed to get married. Azrael began to pour drinks as she spoke

“I have spoken to the king and queen of Mips and we have come to a decision that you and the young prince are to meet.”

“but that's not the deal I am not to meet this imbecile till we are to marry”

“plans change Regina, must I remind you why I have agreed to this my dear hm?”

“no, I…I remember mother”

“really do you 'cause you're not acting like it! That stupid plant can't fend for itself so they have to come running to me, nothing new. But you, my daughter, really know why I accepted the offer, don't you?” said the queen as she grabbed her daughter by the shoulders and whispered in her ear she then graded her dress and walked to the other side of the table. She wiped her hand just above the flat service. small bright purple dots appeared above the table. They looked like stars in the far off sky. As the queen began to speak, the stare-like figures would create an animation to go along with what she was saying.

“We will provide the small plant with everything they need because the stars know we have enough and in return their sweet prince's hand in marriage. A big lovely wedding declaring you the ruler of both Mips and Aristocratic and as you gain the trust of the people and… well you know the plan my dear I don't need to waste my breath explaining”

“Yes yes mother but why are we talking about this”

“Oh yes. In a month you will meet the prince for tea here at the castle”

“what! No, I am nowhere near prepared for this!”

“One month Regina!” yelled her mother as she walked out of the room and down the hall to prepare for dinner.

﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍��﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

[yourmeltedsunsets]

I’m not certain, but I think that my Mama and Papa were in their 50’s when they adopted me.

Mayo pakong aram kan mga panahon na ito, but I think that it was the most exciting day for them — and same man sakuya simply because it was a new beginning for me. Not that I’m discrediting the womb that I came from, it’s just that, para sakuya man kaya, that was the day and time that God clothe me with a totally different life. Something that is unique and extraordinary. I’d say, something greater than the life that I would’ve gotten from the other side.

I had a great childhood ~ kung ano man si mga nagigibo kan younger parents, dawa may edad na sila Mama and Papa, nagibo man ninda ito.

Pick me up from bed dawa magabat ako.

Give me a bath whenever I feel lazy getting one on my own.

My papa, he would play with me all the time.

He sends and picks me up at school.

He would take me for a ride with his bicycle.

Sometimes he would take me to his workplace kung ang pipinturahan na harong is just within the area.

He is a great painter by the way. He can tell how and what colors need to be mixed in order to get a particular tint. It was like a natural, innate skill of his, despite of the fact that he was an undergrad. It’s one of the things he’s greatest at. He is actually known for it. I remember, retired na sya sa pag pintura, may mga tao padin nagdidigdi samo ta gusto siyang kuanon para mag trabaho. Since dae nya na kaya ta nagluluya na an pag hiling, people would just come to our house and ‘consult’ nalang pag abot sa mga gagamiton na kulay and klase ning paint na pang kahoy, simento or bakal. Also, maski nuarin, dae lamang ko kayan narapado. NEVER ako kayan kinulugan maski sarong beses.

He is a great dad and is still being one.

My mama naman would buy things and dresses dawa dae baragay ta grabeng pagkatutong ko kadto. Iyo man yan ang pambawi nya ta pirming mayo ta school principal baya. She never failed to show her support for us. She would take me and my brother to Naga (almost every month) ~ for McDonalds, Naga Restaurant, minsan makakan duman sa Master. Babakalan bado sa Robertsons (the old one na Puregold na ngunyan) or Garmas, mabakal sapatos sa Footsteps.

Simplehon lang kadto ang lifestyle.

We never knew the branded stuff. Basta pag uli, may bitbit, may masusulot na pag simba or sa sunod na pag luwas luwas.

Every December, I would hang my socks sa may bintana, would even write my wishes and post it sa may pinto because “Santa Claus” is coming to town. I believed it for years. It was innocent, hopeful and exciting years kase, you always had this notion that by the end of the year, may maabot talaga na nakasakay sa sled, may reindeer and dara na si gift na gusto mo. I remember, minsan na din ako nagsäbit sako ta sabi ko gusto kong bike. Though mayo man nag abot na bike, kan nagdaradakula na ako, si Fuji bike na ni papa ang nagagamit ko.

These are just fractions of my childhood. Glimpse of my innocent years and the younger years of my Mama and Papa and kung paano sinda naging magurang samuya. Sobrang blessed and grateful na sinda ang naging magurang mi. They sent me and my brother to good schools and university. They provided everything that we needed. Supported everything that we wanted. Gosh kala ngani kang iba, mga spoiled kami. I’d say I was the favorite child tho. I didn’t had any scholarship when I was in college (so I didn’t have to maintain grades) didn’t even have to work ~ I was a full ‘Scholar ni Mama’. Which was a little different from my Kuya’s. If I’m not mistaken, scholar sya kadto so need nya mag maintain grades, nag part time din yan sa Jollibee. Dae yan sako pinaranas ni Mama. All I had to do was to study, eat, sleep and repeat with a weekly allowance of 1500 to 2000 pesos. She even bought me a Windows and Apple computer. Sobrang boot and supportive ninda sako.

Sadly, my mom passed away in 2020. Cancer took her. I remember the phone call I received, August 1st. That was the day I approved my mom’s DNR. Painful and heartbreaking decision ever but it was for the best. Dae naman siya mararahay digdi sa ibabaw. Naisip mi kadto, masakit lang din siya in the long run kung lalagan pang tubo ta nagtutubig na si lungs nya. I missed the chance na makabawi man lang saiya. Although I started working right away after mag graduate at the age of 19. It was just 5-short-years that I was given para makabawi saiya. Sobrang lïpot. She didn’t even saw the plaques of certificates and commendations I’ve acquired in my chosen field.

Ngunyan si Papa nalang ang natatada.

Halos gusto ko nang burutungon ang panahon to be stable sa gabos na aspect.

I may have wasted some good years sa ibang bagay, prioritized other people na dae ko man dapat ininot, pero iba ang pressure talaga pag nag gugurang na ang parents. Iniisip mo, pano ka mabawi when you don’t even have enough means. Although, I know, money is NOT the most important thing in the world, but it affects everything that is. Food, healthcare and even simple things such as clothing and other material things, of course, you want the best for them. Especially, when it comes to things na dae pa ninda naranasan and gusto mo iparanas ta nuarin pa.

I know God has a plan for me. And I believe dakul pang taon ang nakalaan sakuya. Sa ngunyan, mayo akong ibang gusto saka pangadyi, kundi ang maparahay si Papa saka maglawig pa ang buhay niya. Sana mahalat niya pa and mahiling ang mga maarabot pang achievements ko sa buhay. Dawa siya nalang makahiling and makaexperience kan gabos na dae ko naparanas ki Mama…

Dawa siya nalang.

PS: Take care of your parents. They won’t be around forever. Treasure every moment na yaon pa sinda and nakakaibahan mo pa. You don’t wanna live the rest of your life na pano ning regrets. They were once our feet, hands, everything especially kan kita nga saradit pa.

Though I know norms and traditions are changing, pero sana dae mabago an kaugalian ta pag abot sa pag ataman nin magurang.🤍

[jenuinely-speaking]

hi!!! can i ask 1, 12, 19, and 33 for the ask game?

Hello hello Lucky! 👋🏽🥰Hope your day is/has been going smoothly!

Starting off strong I see. Alrighty then *cracks knuckles* here we go~

1) What was your first exposure to TMNT?

I laugh at this now in retrospect.

Picture this: 9-year-old Jen visiting her newly moved out older sister with her mom. Mom and sis are needing to talk about stuff that doesn't involve wee little Jen, so big sis tells her to watch whatever DVD was left in the player -- should be good for a kid younger than preteen age to watch. Low and behold, it was the original 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, at that time the same age as wee little Jen. Now, little Jen has seen the original cartoon -- but it had been a hit or miss. But this movie? Holy crap, it was like the holy grail was delivered within the palm of her hands.

What's funny, apparently mom and sis ended their conversation not even fifteen minutes into the movie and tried to get my attention, but I was immediately hooked and sucked into it -- they finally got my attention about halfway through the movie lol We ended up eating lunch at my sister's so I could stay and watch the movie. Never looked back and have no regrets (and lovingly fully blame my older sister to this day for my obsession🐢💕).

12) Which version of Donatello is your favorite?

Picked up on that, I see lol Honestly, love all the turtles equally due to their differences and complimentary dynamics--BUT, speaking specifically on Dontron...couldn't have asked a tougher question lol

After thinking on this (I literally stepped away to ponder this question, no lie) it will have to be Bayverse Donatello. His adorable snort-laugh (tickles me every time). His nonchalance on electrocuting his brothers with his electric bo. His pure, un-adulterated excitement with anything science/tech related, even if it's preconceived inconceivable science and tech. HIS NONCHALANT STEPPING OUT OF AN AIRPLANE AS IF HE WERE STEPPING OFF A PORCH. BRO. Just. *mind still trying to compute after so many years* What the fuck, Don?

I also can't help but think Bayverse Donatello was a core blueprint/inspiration for Rise Donatello and, if that's truth, I love that kid (Rise) even more for his complete, unhinged energy ✨🤌🏽

19) Who is your favorite ally?

Hands down, the Nutrinos from the 1987 cartoon. Absolutely love the trio, especially Kala. The episode where she was accidently stranded in the boys' dimension, and they had to work on getting her back home is one of my top 10 favorite episodes of any iteration of the series. Michelangelo and Kala tiptoeing around their hard-core crushes for each other is just chef kiss ✨🤌🏽🧡

33) What is your favorite thing you've made for TMNT?

Hhhhnnnggg That's another toughie, considering how endless my pit of stories has become. If I'm to be honest, it's a tie between two drafts that I have:

1) A story that started 13 years ago titled "The Fifth Renaissance Master". It is currently getting revised and ties in TMNT with Gargoyles and Transformers, a story that will be told within the span of 3 arcs. My two favorite bits? And this I don't mind spoiling 'cause it's gonna be in the summary once it's a good way along to post -- I figured out a way to have Elisa be their sister while still holding her adult history on becoming a detective for the NYPD. And for Transformers to tie in via the villains after the second arc. Words ✨cannot express✨ how excited I am for this story.

2) A softer story titled "A Family Tail" that is geared towards Splinter finding, in his early years as a newly formed mutant and father, the care, compassion, friendship, and eventual love from a nurse that helps him get his sons through their first ever bout of illness at a very young age. Possibly one of the most wholesome stories I've ever plotted out and my heart hurts so good every time I pick it up to write😭💕. I am thinking of posting this one soon(like, two really's soon), chapter-by-chapter, as I randomly get scenario ideas during the day. So, this one might just end up an on-going story post soon enough.

[kariachi]

Different monster huntery type of au, featuring a baby Devin.

As in my other works, children of this line tend to be the cause of a lot of grey hairs and trauma.

~~

Kala had lived a long, full life. A loving husband, wonderful children, a successful career that her eldest had followed her into. Her inner demons were in hand, her enemies dead or retired, family healthy. There was nothing to give her cause for concern as she moved towards retirement, her age just barely catching up to her enough to make the life of a hunter more dangerous than one would like.

So, of course, her youngest had to be the greatest agent of innocent chaos the world had ever known.

“Your son,” her darling said as she returned home, himself and three of their younger four stood by the road leading up to the house, “not mine, yours.” Normally this would be all but nothing, but the four of them were milling about anxiously and young Mendevin was nowhere to be seen.

“What did he do,” she asked, hands itching for her hammer.

“He brought home a lagiacrus,” Camad cut in before his father could answer, dropping a pit into her stomach. She was already in motion, weapon in hand before he could continue. “He’s just, hanging out with it!”

She rounded the house with a quickness come from decades of practice, skidding to a halt as she took in the monster laid out in the sun. It was a lagiacrus, as she’d been told. A young one, only just large enough to have set out for it’s own territory. This wasn’t unusual, having to drive off or kill young lagiacrus that tried to settle too close to people was part of the job, but her toddler was on this one's head. Sat there like a little hat, chattering away as the monster lay there, seemingly heedless of his presence.

Kala hesitated a heartbeat longer than she normally would, wary of hurting Mendevin. Just long enough for the lagiacrus to notice her, hissing as it curled up in itself, eyes on her, sending the toddler rocking and grasping it’s horns for balance. Frowning, he followed it’s gaze and immediately brightened.

“Mama!” He waved as he called out, seemingly unnoticing of the horror coursing through her or the way the monster’s tail came up to shield him from view. “Made a friend!”

She continued to stare off against the monster, neither moving as he continued blabbering on childish nonsense in the same tone he used to tell her about learning a new song.

If he survived this, he was going to be the damned death of her.

[velcoriaexploration]

It’s Halloween, what are some of the muses doing?

Pip, being grumpy and testosterone-spiked, just like his dad, Bruno, was until today. Unlike his dad, his rut is lasting longer than normal this year. Perk/Curse of being a young bull versus a bull who’s starting to slow down. But that gives Bruno time to be a grandpa, not a hormonal guy. And he and Agatha love being grandparents to the many calves in the herd.

Pip’s younger sisters are helping their mom switch out holiday decorations. And yes, they are the type to put out Winter Holiday decor WAY TOO EARLY.

Rex is taking a well-deserved nap. (Insert partner) is busy with taking Revan trick or treating tonight. He won’t have any energy until they get home.

Mokona is going out to a party with some of her female coworkers. Unlike her brother, she isn’t exhausted from the overtime.

Sill is having a cult meeting. And it’s going well. The Changing Be Praised!!

The satyrs are doing what satyrs do best: Be debaucherous and enjoy the wrapping-up of the Harvest Festival and Rut Season to the fullest. Kala is not joining in. She and the few satyrs that don’t really enjoy the normal satyr ways, are helping out Agatha and her daughters.

Gren is getting increasingly aggressive as the leaves in “his” bows turn brightly colored and begin falling. Gren is prepping to move back into the forest beyond the Ranch’s protective barrier. Velcorian Treants become hyper-carnivorous in winter. Not exactly something you want to have around the ranch with customers and the staff. Though “he” does have a few folks like Rex, who are on the no-eating list, for health risk reasons or because the treant likes them enough.

Sköll got the non-herd kids trick-or-treat/babysitting duty this year. He is not amused. But he can’t be mad at the kids. And he did manage to convince Elmeria to give him double pay to watch the future workers of the ranch.

Speaking of the Ranch’s current boss, Elmeria is doing unmentionable things to some folks who thought they could weasel out of their protection payments to her organization. Once a black dragon who is also a mafia queen, always a black dragon who is also a mafia queen.

The oozes are trying to trick folks into giving them candy. Even Rainbow, who is usually very well behaved. Don’t feed them candy!! There are signs everywhere warning people not to.

Altrinus is winterizing his apiary. Doesn’t want his prize buzzers to not be in their prime come spring. And testing the spoils of their partnership. May or may not go partying later. With or without a partner for the evening. He hasn’t decided.

[goldenheartgirl1]

Ch.2- Wolf’s Pride (TWST Mafia AU)

-Disclaimer: Yes I know people might say “this isn’t the mafia” but this chapter is connected to a larger series, so please read chapter 1 first.

“You be safe Jack, and tell Kala I said hi!”

“I won’t mom, I’ll be fine.”

After a brief goodbye kiss and the closing of the door, Jack turned and took a breath before heading off towards the heart of the city. Yes, it was Sunday, but when the student was not at school he was working to help provide for his family. Tucking his white shirt into his dark wash pants the young man took quick strides towards the city he’s grown to loathe, even though his parents tell him it’s a place of opportunity he knows that just isn’t how this place worked. Most people from outside the city of Nirvana’s Steel share the idea that this city is the place to get rich and well known, while that’s not wrong it was only true to those that knew your name or getting lucky with careers. Jack’s parents had a job opportunity that was too good to turn down but here they were in the Afterglow district, home to the most populated area of housing and gangs that were effectively pushed out of the city. His family was not poor, they chose this area because it was closer to the schools and away from the noise of the city and other concerns, but sometimes this neighborhood put Jack on edge.

The tall, tan skinned man was intimidating enough to keep most gang members away, but he was tasked with taking his younger brother and sister to the bus stop to ensure their safety. Not that he minded but his home was not good enough for them, the SavanaClaw gang constantly walked around and were always getting the police involved in the area. Jack would do anything to keep his family safe and by some luck he has yet to throw a punch at anyone that threatened their safety. The small cul-de-sacs were mixed in with older houses and while Jack would not call Afterglow a “ghetto territory,” it certainly was not free from drugs, gangs, and graffiti. However, the Afterglow district did have its charms such as local parks and local family shops that were not under the thumb of corporate overlords. The morning was already climbing in temperature and contained the peaceful sounds of silence and occasionally a car driving on the road, some grasses greener than others and others sparkling with water from the sprinklers, and even a few kids were out playing in the yard with families. Jack soaked in every bit of this peaceful morning as he did every morning, because once 10 AM hit then all the gangs and business would start rolling in.

“Morning Jack!” His boss called out from the front of the floral shop. She was an older woman with a similar outfit to his but was wearing a green apron as well, she flipped the sign on the glass door and smiled at him. “How are you this morning dear?”

“I’m doing good Miss Kala, did the delivery truck already get here?”

“Oh yes, there is some new bags of fertilizer in the back, would you be able to-”

She didn’t even finish before he was already marching to the back and effortlessly lifting a large bag onto his shoulder and carrying it to the fertilizer section. Kala only chuckled and brushed some of her graying brown locks back and walked to the garden accessories to organize them. The shop was not huge but it did have a pretty good selection for those with green thumbs in the neighborhood, and this place got plenty of business from regular customers in the city as well. Jack finished piling up the bags before heading to the plants with a hose and started watering them, looking out the window for a moment he stared at the billboard outside the shop with the words “Coming soon! New housing!” and growled under his breath. All the big companies want to do is push this district out to make a new one, destroying local businesses and pave the parks over in concrete.

“Jack.” His golden eyes blinked, hearing Kala right next to him, looking at the smaller woman’s warm chocolate eyes that were filled with compassion and kindness. “Glaring at the board won’t make it go away.”

“I’m sorry Kala..I just worry what this development will do to this area.”

“You can’t stop progression my dear, it’s human nature. Unfortunately, the need to expand urban living is also harmful.”

“Why can’t we make a petition?”

“I have tried to in the past but big businesses don’t listen.” Kala explained and started spritzing the plants with nutrients. “The only way you can protect land like this is if there was a memorial park or a location of great historical purpose. Jack, you’re a good man with a big heart, but try not to get caught up in the things you can’t change.”

Jack released a sigh to destress the tension in his mind, commenting softly. “I know, I’m more worried about the SavanaClaw gang right now anyways, there has been a lot more police coming by and I’m certain the punks running around are just slipping out of their grasp.”

“Easy now, they may seem like punks but the SavanaClaw gang is filled with boys of young and older who love this community. They seek family or friends and end up in those gangs, but that does not mean they are all hooligans.”

When the bell at the door rang Kala walked over to greet the customer while Jack continued to water the plants. His eyes looked over the table of colorful petals and smiled a bit, this place always made him feel so relaxed and Kala was a great boss who was easy with his scheduling, and out of all the plants his favorite ones to tend to were the cacti. They were strong and yet delicate plants that just needed plenty of water and sunlight to survive. As the day rolled on customers came and left at a casual pace, by the time it was three in the afternoon Kala had told Jack he could leave for the day. Kids were playing outside and some teen groups were walking or smoking on the corners of the sidewalks, it was far noisier in the afternoon and night was always filled with chaos so he tried to not go out after dark. The summer sun burned into his skin but Jack paid no mind to it, he just wanted to get home and play with his siblings before dinner.

However, passing a development area made Jack slow down, it was a construction area of abandoned buildings covered in graffiti and was a common area for teens to hang out, but after years of falling apart it appeared someone finally purchased it. The sign on the gate detailed how it was going to become townhouses, to which only made the man shake his head in disappointment. Why couldn’t the companies fix the houses here instead of making more? Around the area were some vehicles, excavators, demolition cranes, all surrounding this crumbling building just waiting to be used. Jack was about to start walking again when he noticed three figures on the other side of the blocked off area climbing over the fence, their faces were not easy to identify with them wearing hoods and caps but they were dressed in rugged and dirty clothes so the silver haired man just ignored them. Barely two steps forward and the golden brown eyes just would not look away from the three figures, who were now heading to the demolition crane and one climbed onto the seat. Jack is not one to stick around when trouble was obvious but seeing the group getting into a powerful machine set him on edge, he quickly took out his phone and began calling for the police when he heard a shout. Two of the three men started running in his direction and Jack quickly ran down the street, being much more athletically inclined though he outran them in a matter of seconds and turned the block to loop back around.

The dispatcher finally answered and to which Jack immediately said while not breaking a sweat. “Hello? I’m in Afterglow district, there are a few guys trying to use the demolition crane at the abandoned building.”

“Sir, are you sure they are not just kids messing around?”

“Considering two of them chased me as soon as they saw me, that’s unlikely.” Jack replied and slowed down to hide behind the corner of a building and glanced back to see if the two were still following him. “They have their faces hidden too.”

“Alright, please stay on the line and in the location you’re calling from-”

A rattling and roaring sound rang out from the demolition area, Jack’s eyes widened in shock as he looked over to the crane and the third person still left there actually got the thing started. Diesel smoke clouded and evaporated into the air as the person working it lifted the weighted ball on the crane, a second later the entire machine jerked forward and the driver jolted a bit before making it drive forward a little further, as if testing the machine to see what each lever can do. Jack couldn’t believe it, it had only been four minutes since he started making the call and the person didn’t look to have keys, did the thug really hot wire it that fast?

“I have to go, the punk is trying to drive it!”

“Sir don’t-”

Jack hung up and ran to the fence, climbing over it and running to the large vehicle as the ball was suddenly dropped on top of the excavator and the driver cackled loudly in his seat. Thankfully the crane was so slow because just as the ball was being lifted up again, Jack jumped onto the side and grabbed the person by the shoulder before ripping him out of the seat. Below the controls a bunch of wires hung loose and some taped together with electrical tape, his powerful hand reached down and ripped the wires apart from each other and the crane immediately shut down, but just as Jack turned to yell at the guy the person was already climbing the fence. Jack growled again and gave chase, climbing over and keeping his eyes trained on the hooded guy as he ran down the sidewalk. Jack was about to grab him again but the smaller body made a sharp turn into the street, nearly making the muscular man trip, and a car honked loudly as the agile person slid over the hood not even stopping for a second.

“What the heck?” Jack snarled and ran after him, chasing him down an alley between houses and two trash cans were knocked back to try and slow him down, which Jack was able to jump over with no problem.

Once he exited the alley his keen eyes scanned around for the person but no luck, he let out another growl and was near to cursing when a voice above him taunted. “Wow! You just don’t give up do you?”

Golden eyes looked up at the figure lounging on the roof of one of the houses, laying casually on his side and fiddling with a roll of electrical tape in his hands. A cocky grin accompanied by relaxed cerulean blue eyes, ruffled sandy colored hair and a bandage covering his left cheek, the black hood of his tattered hoodie was pulled back to show his face obviously to really try on Jack’s patience. The punk on the roof wore baggy black pants and Jack could see an orange shirt with black writing saying “Laugh with me!” in the middle where the hoodie was unzipped, a pair of black fingerless bike gloves, his shoes were combat boots that was probably the newest and most expensive thing on the guy. Although the person looked small he didn’t look younger than Jack, finally he pulled a necklace off his neck that was a simple rope with a claw dangling from the center.

“Do you know what this is, muscles?”

“A necklace, get down here right now!”

The grin grew wider, showing off his pearl white teeth which contrasted to his limestone colored skin, he began to lazily stand and strut across the shingles. “No I don’t think I will.. You really don’t know what this necklace means? Shame, I guess it’s true what they say about guys who are all muscles.”

Jack glared now and looked for a way to get up but he couldn’t see how the guy got up there in the first place. “I don’t care, look you’re in huge trouble for what you did!”

“I know, that’s part of the fun! Shyeheehee!” The other cackled again, covering his mouth a bit before adding on. “But come on, the police can’t catch me. SavanaClaw is also not far away.”

“SavanaClaw? Wait, you’re a gang member?”

“Ring-a-ding-ding! Looks like muscles isn’t completely brain dead. You know, you are impeding my job though, I’m trying to stop the development.”

For some reason, Jack relaxed as he watched the guy walking around on the roof carelessly, his eyes lit up with surprise. “You were..stopping the production? But that’s reckless! You could have been hurt!”

“I know it’s a tough job, but I’m the only one to do it. And now because you decided to be a whistle-blower I’ll have to wait until really late! So thanks for doubling my work load.” He scoffed and crossed his arms.

“Why not just petition or something?”

“Talk is cheap with police, especially the Union mafia pricks and those card loving bitches at the Casino.”

“Mafia? Casino? What the heck does that have to do with anything?!”

A sigh left the guy as he shook his head. “Am I really gonna have to explain this? Look man, those guys practically rule the city, they promote the construction, and our gang has to tear down that hope of tearing up our neighborhood! Think of us like vigilantes trying to protect the local businesses and our homes. You know, “I scratch your back and you scratch mine,” that kind of thing.”

Jack thought about his words, it did make sense and it was nice to hear others thought the same as him when it came to the development. “Yeah..it’s bullshit. I wish the city could just leave our district alone, I mean it doesn’t help that bad stuff like drugs get over here just because people are looking for a dose of pleasure from their circumstances.”

The cerulean eyes narrowed a bit before the blonde sat back down and asked. “What’s your name?”

Golden brown eyes met the blonde as he replied politely. “Jack Howl, and you?”

Lips pursed for a moment before that grin came back and the other replied. “Ruggie, you don’t deserve my last name. Yet. How about you come with me and see if you can join the gang?”

“No way! I don’t want to make my family worry, and I don’t want to fall behind in classes. Not to mention if I get arrested it will be on my record.”

“Oh come on, you said it yourself, you want the city to leave us alone. We don’t need every gang member every day, you can just show up when we text or if you can make it. It’s pretty casual for us.”

It was a bad idea, it was a terrible thought, but why was Jack considering it? “I don’t think-”

“You have a choice here.” Ruggie and Jack looked over to three more gang members, two of which were the ones chasing Jack earlier but the third was a new person entirely.

Jack only stared as Ruggie smiled and waved before checking his phone. “Hey Leona! How are you this fine evening-whoa! It’s already five o’clock?”

Leona, the gang leader that stood with a stoic expression, watched Jack carefully, the emerald green eyes analyzing every part of the tall young adult. He wore a dark yellow sleeveless shirt with a black leather vest over it, worn out brown pants, scuffed up black shoes, and around his neck were several necklaces. One necklace was the claw of SavanaClaw, another was a necklace of multi-colored beads, and the last one was a small bird’s skull. There was a long scar going down his left eye and a lion tattoo wrapped around his left arm, his long dark brown hair rested in messy curls and some parts were in small braids. In comparison, Leona was a little shorter than Jack but both had impressively muscular forms, which made the gang leader grumble.

“So, you’re the one who stopped Ruggie huh?”

“Well..yes but-”

“Save it kid, you have two options right now. Either pass an initiation or scram. I have no time for your petty “I want to be a hero” complex.”

The silver haired man glared as he snapped back. “Destroying thousands of thaumarks in equipment is no way to stop the construction! The only way the city will stop is if the land has some value to it.”

“What the hell are you spouting out now?” Leona snarled but Ruggie jumped down with ease from the roof and walked over to him.

“Hold it Leona, the kid might be onto something.” The blonde grinned mischievously and continued. “Obviously it’s not a precious landmark, but~ I think I know someone that can forge documents to make it a landmark.”

Jack wasn’t exactly sure what kind of connections these guys had but it sounded better than the alternative, he watched as Leona’s eyes narrowed and thought to himself. Soon the leader nodded and whispered something to Ruggie, then turned his attention back to Jack and scoffed. “Pacifist. But sneaky. We could use someone with your unsoiled reputation, others trust you, and we could use you. What do you think, kid, want to join us?”

Before anything could be said the sound of police sirens wailed in the distance, making the five of them freeze up, Jack panicked for a moment about potentially being blamed but Leona quickly barked out some orders to “chase the police off” and Ruggie ran to Jack, pulling at the tanned arm to have him follow. Without much thought, Jack followed Leona and Ruggie in a sprint to wherever they were leading him to. They ran past houses, abandoned buildings, running to the outskirts of the housing areas until they reached an old house that was completely overgrown with vines and other plants. Jack never saw this place previously but probably because the road doesn’t reach this particular area and there was no reason to come this way before. Leona soon came to a stop with Ruggie and Jack stayed a few feet behind them but watched as the leader knocked in an odd rhythm, the door opened without a creak and inside many other gang members were drinking and laughing together like one big family.

Ruggie went in and quickly made himself at home while Leona turned and glared at Jack. “If you plan to join us your initiation starts now, having any second thoughts?”

Was this the right choice? What would they ask of him? On one hand they could be ruthless to people, but Jack never recalled them hurting innocent people in the neighborhood. In fact civilians like Kala would stand up for them. This would also be a benefit to protecting his family and home, and they also did just protect his identity from the police. Jack steeled his resolve and gave a nod to Leona, who started walking closer which made the taller one tense up. Leona soon delivered a punch into his jaw, catching Jack off guard and barely giving him time to recover before another hit sent him stumbling back, his grunt of pain made a few gang members step out to watch the show. Before a third fist could collide into Jack, a tanned hand grabbed ahold of Leona’s arm and a growl of anger left Jack as he slammed Leona into the dirt. A few shocked gasps rang in the crowd and Jack wondered if maybe he went too far, until Leona quickly yanked Jack to the ground and trapped him in a headlock, then the crowd started cheering for more.

Jack managed to knock Leona off by jamming his elbow into the man and rolled over to get back on his feet, however Leona was faster and kicked Jack in his side to send him back on the ground. The silver haired man wasn’t giving up though and grabbed onto Leona’s leg, yanking him back onto the ground and making Leona’s skull collide with the dirt, which led to another tackle as Jack tried to pin Leona to the ground. It was like a wrestling match but with more fists and clawing rather than just pinning a person down, even the rocks on the ground proved to be weapons if either of them used them, which Leona did a lot but slamming Jack’s body into them. The cheers of the crowd along with the fight made blood pump in Jack’s ears as he still focused on Leona, who was growling and sent a powerful kick into the younger one’s gut, this time though the leader stood up panting with his lip bruised. Leona may have been hurt but Jack was a mess, he got to his feet and could feel bruises forming all over his body, but he didn’t break eye contact from his opponent.

Leona suddenly smirked and was on the ground before Jack could react and threw a cloud of dust into his eyes, Jack staggered back which gave Leona the chance to sweep the leg and send the larger man to the ground. Jack tried to blink away the dirt and was fast enough to do so to avoid Leona stomping onto his stomach, he rolled away and got onto his feet before hooking his fist back and delivering an uppercut to Leona’s jaw. The crowd was silent in seconds of Leona stumbling back with a pained yell, some of them were even glaring at Jack and watched him like a pack of hyenas ready to pounce. Leona looked at him in anger and let out a roar as he knocked his head right into Jack’s before grabbing at his throat and squeezing tightly, now Jack was frightened. This guy was actually going to try and kill him! He managed to slam his arm down across Leona’s to weaken the grip before shoving them apart with a powerful kick to Leona’s gut. Jack watched carefully, his eyes agitated but still focused on Leona, who was equally watching before smirking again and threw his head back in laughter.

The laugh was bizarre, it was not out of joy or triumph, it was almost mocking and maniacal. Jack began to wonder if this man was actually insane, even the people around them looked confused, but Ruggie was the first to walk up to Leona. “Hey! Leona, snap out of it man!”

Leona did stop, almost hilariously fast, and spoke out loudly so everyone could hear him. “We have fresh meat boys! This intellectual brat actually might be useful, and considering he just kept trying to win is even better. Not giving up is something we value here.”

A few murmurs and cheers erupted as Ruggie crossed his arms and gave a smirk to Jack, who was now very confused and sore. The blonde gave a look to Leona, a nod came from the leader and Ruggie walked up to the confused man, pulling out a rope necklace with a claw on the end and handing it to Jack. “Sounds like you're in man, don’t blow it.”

Jack felt relief hit him, almost sending him to the ground if Ruggie wasn’t there to help keep him up, the guy just chuckled and helped him into the house to clean up. All the while, Leona just watched and his smirk vanished to be replaced with a frustrated scowl as he touched his bruised lip. Ruggie offered to help him home and the blonde would not stop talking about how cool the fight was, he even mentioned how initiation changes for each person which made Jack a little pissed off. When they arrived at Jack’s home it was already dinner time and Jack’s mother was frantic to figure out how her son was injured, but then Ruggie spun a tale on how Jack actually saved his life from the “awful gang members” lurking around there. Ruggie said his goodbye and Jack’s mom scolded him a little for not calling for help, but eventually told him to go eat and gave a kiss to his forehead. Jack happily ate with his family and after dinner played with his siblings, playfully wrestling them in the living room and laughing as his sister climbed onto his back. When asked about the cool necklace, Jack smiled at his brother and sister and began to explain how he was now part of a secret group that was going to wipe out crime in the neighborhood, and after making them swear to secrecy he tucked them into their beds. Jack carefully grabbed the claw around his neck and thought carefully of what he just got into, but for an odd reason he wasn’t worried or even regretful of his actions. He was proud, he was going to protect his small pack and he had a pride to protect him.

[shankhachil]

I posted 1,612 times in 2022

277 posts created (17%)

1,335 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@identitycrisis-electricboogaloo

@starcloud-nova

@zindagi-toh-bewafa-hai

@peevesiehasasideblog

I tagged 1,039 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#hagupost - 164 posts

#important - 70 posts

#kala bibhag - 66 posts

#me speaking - 55 posts

#top shelf - 38 posts

#omg - 12 posts

#lmao - 10 posts

#heartstopper - 10 posts

#banglar bhalobashaye - 10 posts

#inventory - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#anyway one of them randomly sent a message in our gc like “it's called footccer” and not having context it took me like. half an hour to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It’s not gay if a dog is there na?

13 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

#4

homodbodhan

An article, somewhat. For day 11 of the Desi LGBT Fest 2022, prompt: “The first time you heard ‘gay’”.

I’m going to change this up a bit. I mean, not that I’m not going to tell you the first time I heard the word “gay”, but there’s some more that I want to talk about and I think this is a good chance to share it.

Okay, so first of all, the first time I heard “gay”. Actually, technically, that doesn’t count either, because, really, the first time I ever had a sensory experience of some sort with this word (and doesn’t that just sound wrong?) was from a book called Jobless Clueless Reckless by Revathi Suresh, when I was eight years old. I read the word “gay”.  The book itself is YA, but age restrictions never had any meaning to me, since I was often left to my own devices by my parents. Well — I probably shouldn’t have been reading that book, since it’s a bit mature for an eight-year-old, but the point stands.

A phrase from the book went something like “(....) it’s like he’s determined to show the world he’s gay (....)”. It’s not the exact quote — I have the book in my shelf at home but I can’t be bothered to dig it out — but it’s close. The context, here, is that the narrator’s younger brother likes those beginner’s cross-stitching and knitting sets, and is proudly displaying his collection to the narrator’s crush. 

You see the issue with the narration here, obviously. I’m sure you’re all thinking “casual homophobia” right now, and, yes, once I was old enough to understand what “gay” meant, I went back to this book and said “Yikes!” out loud when I came to this part.

But onwards. I went to my mother and asked her what “gay” meant. She said, “Don’t say such words, you’re not old enough,” and so for a few years I went around thinking that “gay” was a profane word.

And that was it for that. It was the first time I had read, and then heard, the word “gay” at all. But it doesn’t really count because I only understood what it meant three years later. I’ve mentioned in my last post for the Fest that I realized I was gay some months after Section 377 was abolished. It was (I also said) the first time I heard “gay” and actually wondered about what it meant. I was eleven years old, and I enjoyed seeing pictures of attractive men, and didn’t really understand what my friends (who were, looking back, perhaps a bit too mature for their age) meant when they called women “hot”.

I saw “gay” and I went on Google — or maybe Wikipedia — and I looked at what it meant. I read very thoroughly, actually. For a week, when my mother wasn’t actively making me study or go to table-tennis classes or what-have-you, I went onto the Internet on my iPad and researched the LGBTQ+ community like I’d never researched anything before.

I came out of it a changed boy. Obviously, for a few months, I didn’t realize I was gay, I never even considered the fact that I was attracted to men. It never even occurred to me that other boys I knew just... weren’t like me.

A few months later, I started really thinking about whether I was gay or not. It was at the back of my mind for a while. Sometimes I wouldn’t think about it, sometimes I would. More than a year went by like this. And then, in March of the year I turned thirteen, the COVID pandemic came to India. I had already had a lot of alone time — and this increased to almost ten or eleven hours a day. At this point, of course, I had begun to hit puberty, which, combined with the fact that I am decidedly not asexual, led to the development of some... urges. You know what I mean. It feels weird to talk about it since it was so recent. If I’d been in, say, my thirties, I could probably have talked about it more freely, perhaps with a laugh, a look how dumb I was. But I am far from being in my twenties, let alone my thirties, and so I will not elaborate — much.

Skipping the fine details, I will say here that I discovered at thirteen that straight porn did absolutely nothing, and gay porn did everything for me.

Seventh grade, though, had brought my first crush, Who was a girl, and also my best friend. This made things difficult.

So, instead of saying I was gay, I came out to that best friend (who obviously didn’t know I liked her) as bisexual. And that was officially the first label I applied to myself. It was wonderful. These days, to avoid having to explain my full identity, I say I’m bisexual to most people. Most of them don’t ask further.

Fast-forward two more years to now. I discovered that I am demiromantic and homosexual. More labels.

Labels. Probably the most interesting thing that humans have invented — little words that tell you what kind of person a person is, what they do, who they love, where they’re from. All for the uniquely-Homo sapiens purpose of classification. We cannot live without categorizing people into kinds. Detrimental sometimes, yes, but, at its core, one of the most fascinating things about human psychology.

To be honest, before I discovered different kinds of labels, I never really knew anything about myself. I mean... I did, just not actively. The fact that I am Indian, or Bengali, or, for that matter, a boy, never really set itself in my mind very concretely. I never thought about it as much as some people seem to do.

I think that labels are the thing that have helped me most on my journey of self-discovery. Not meditation, or reading, or love interests, but labels. Everything I’ve ever known about myself has been from seeing a word, thinking about it, and going, is this me?

So, back again to the first time I heard the word “gay”. The first time I experienced the word “gay”. The time I came out as bisexual. The eleventh of June, 2022, as I write this post. 

If any of these had not happened, I wouldn’t know who I am or where I am as accurately and clearly as I know now. 

Thank you, then, to Revathi Suresh, the Supreme Court, my friend M, and you all. As all the stars say — wouldn’t be here without you.

***

@desi-lgbt-fest

19 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#3

I am SOOO jealous of the economics students in my grade rn they only have two papers in group II and the rest of the science students and I have to write four because SOMEONE in CISCE decided that physics chemistry and biology are three papers of one subject

24 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#2

BYE I JUST FOUND OUT THE INFINITE NOISE IS BASED ON A PODCAST HELLO GIRL THIS IS ALL I’M GOING TO LISTEN TO FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS

36 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

চিঠি (Letter)

A letter in Bangla, followed by its translation in English. For Day 7 of the Desi LGBT Fest 2022.

                                                                                                              ০৭/০৬/২০২২                                                                                                                      কলকাতা

হয়তো, যখন অবশেষে তুমি এই চিঠি খুলবে, তখন তোমার জীবন পুরো দমে চালু হয়ে গিয়ে থাকবে। হয়তো তুমি জোরটা পেয়েছ তোমার গল্পগুলো পৃথিবীকে খুলে দেখাতে পেরেছ; হয়তো তোমার মনের মধ্যে জাদুর, প্রেমের, আশার দুনিয়াগুলো কাগজের উপর, বা সাদা ডকিউমেন্টে প্রকাশ করেছ। বা, হয়তো, তুমি এই কলেজে ঢুকেছ, কে জানে, আই.আই.টি. দিল্লী যেমন তুমি চেয়েছিলে, বা ইয়েল, বিশ্বের ওই প্রান্তরে, আঠারো বছর পরে মা-বাবার থেকে ৮০০০ কিলোমিটার দূরে। তুমি কী পড়ছ? অথবা কী পড়েছ? অঙ্ক? নাকি ভাষাতত্ত্ব; একা একটা স্বপ্ন দেখে পরিবারের কথা না শুনে বেরিয়ে গেছ?

তুমি প্রচুর বাধার সাথে মুখামুখি হয়েছ। আরও বাধা আসবে; তা ছারা জীবনই বৃথা। তবে তুমি পারবে। আমার দৃঢ় বিশ্বাস তুমি পারবে। তুমি এতো কিছু ঝেলেছ − আমি জানি। আমি জানি যে তুমি ক্লান্ত হয়েছ, হচ্ছ, হবে। কিন্তু তোমাকে চলতেই হবে।

২০১৮। ৩৭৭ ধারা অসাংবিধানিক শাসিত হয়েছে। তুমি কাগজের উপরে বড়-বড় করে দেখছ লেখা আছে একটা ইংরেজি শব্দ − গে, গে, গে। এ কী জিনিস, তুমি ভাবছ। ইন্টারনেটে কোনও বাধা নেই। এই দেখো গে মানে কী − আর এবার তুমি ভাবতে শুরু করো, আমি গে নাকি? এভাবেই তুমি নিজেকে নিয়ে অনেক কিছু শিখেছ, আর এভাবেই, ভেবে-ভেবে, তুমি বোঝো, আমি সন্দেহ ছারা গে। 

আর আস্তে, আস্তে, তুমি এটাও বোঝো যে পাশে বন্ধু ছারা, এই যুদ্ধ জেতা যাবেনা।

তুমি আমার থেকে বয়সে বড়। তোমার নিশ্চয়ই বুদ্ধি বেশি, অনেক কিছু দেখেছ, কতজনকে চেনো এবং আলাপ করেছ তা তো অসঙ্খ্য। কিন্তু − তাদেরকে ভুলোনা যারা তোমার জীবনের সবচেয়ে কষ্টের মুহূর্তে তোমার পাশে ছিল। ওই তিনটে বন্ধু − হ্যাঁ, ওরা − ওদেরকে ছেরোনা। আমি জানিনা, সম্ভাবত তোমরা আর কথা বলোনা। তবুও ভুলে যেওনা। আর এটাও ভুলে যেওনা যে তুমি আলাদা। সারা পৃথিবী তোমাকে সন্দেহজনক মনে করে। তোমার আত্মিক পূর্বপুরুষরা তোমার অধিকারের জন্যে লড়েছে। তুমি ভারতীয়; তুমি সমকামী। তোমার নিজের আত্মা স্মৃতি ভর্তি। তুমি এই ধর্ম-পাগল দেশে বেঁচেছ, যদিও কখনও মনে হয়েছে তোমার নিঃশ্বাস যেন যে কোনও সময় বন্ধ হয়ে যাবে, কারণ চারই দিক, না, ছয় দিক, সামনে-পিছনে-ডান-বাম-উপর-নিচে থেকে তোমার দেশ তোমার শ্বাসরোধ করছে। তবুও, যদি তুমি এই চিঠি পড়ছ, তুমি আশা রেখেছ। নিজেকে দুর্বল মনে করোনা। তোমার পুরো জীবন তোমার সামনে আছে। শক্তি রাখো। তোমার যৌবনকাল প্রমান করে যে তোমার আছে।

ছেলেরা আসবে, যাবে, থাকবে, চলে যাবে। তুমি পড়েছ তো। নইলে এতোগুলো প্রেমের উপন্যাস পড়ার কী মানে ছিল? একটু তো সত্যতা আছে প্রত্যেকটি গল্পে। আমি আবার বলব: আমি জানিনা। কী জানি, হয়তো তোমার আছে একজন। একটা অসাধারণ ছেলে। রোজ দেখো তাকে, রোজ ভাবো তুমি ওর মতো একটা মানুষের যোগ্য হলে কিভাবে। আর ও যদি তোমাকে একই ভাবে আদর করে, এটা নিয়ে নিশ্চিন্ত হও যে ও তোমাকে এভাবেই দেখে। 

জানিনা, এই পত্র যখন খুলবে, তখন তুমি তোমার স্বপ্নের মতো বেঁচে উঠতে পেরেছ কি না। যাই হক না কেন − উঠে আসো; দাঁড়াও; বেরোও। অনেকজন তোমায় ভালোবাসে। তুমি কখনও একা থাকবেনা।

তোমার অপেক্ষা করা হচ্ছে। তুমি কিসের অপেক্ষা করছ?

− ইতি, অনেক বছর আগেকার তুমি

***

                                                                                                              07/06/2022                                                                                                                     Kolkata

Maybe, when you finally open this letter, your life will have started for real. Maybe you’ve found the courage to openly show the world your stories; maybe you’ve expressed the worlds of magic, love, hope in your mind on paper, or blank documents. Or, maybe, you’ve just entered college, who knows, IIT Delhi like you always wanted, or Yale, on the other side of the world, 8000 kilometers away from Ma and Baba after eighteen years. What are you studying? Or, what have you studied? Maths? Or linguistics; alone, following a dream, ignoring your family’s advice, have you set off?

You’ve faced many difficulties. More will come; life is pointless without them. But you can do it. I daresay you can do it. You’ve dealt with so much — I know. I know you were, are, will be tired. But you have to go on.

2018. Section 377 has just been ruled unconstitutional. You see one English word written in big letters in the headlines — gay, gay, gay. The Internet has no limits. Look, this is what gay means — and now you begin to wonder, am I gay? You’ve learnt so much about yourself this way, and just so, having thought much, you realize, I am, without doubt, gay.

And, slowly, you realize this too: that without friends, this war cannot be won.

You’re older than me. You’re definitely smarter, you’ve seen so much, and you know countless people and have met infinitely many. But — don’t forget those who were beside you in your life’s worst moments. Those three friends — yes, them — don’t leave them. I don’t know, maybe you don’t talk to them anymore. Still, don’t forget them. And don’t forget this, either: you’re different. The whole world suspects you. Your spiritual forefathers fought for your rights. You are Indian; you are homosexual. Your own soul is full of memories. You have survived this country of religious fanaticism, even though it has seemed, sometimes, that you will suffocate at any moment, because from all four directions, no, six, from front-back-left-right-up-down your country is choking you. If you are reading this letter, then you have kept up hope. Don’t consider yourself weak. Your whole life is in front of you. Have strength. Your youth proves that you possess it.

Boys will come, go, stay, leave. You’ve read about it. Otherwise, what was the point of all those romance novels? There’s definitely a grain of truth to every story. I will say again: I don’t know. Perhaps you already have someone. An extraordinary boy. You see him every day, and each day you think, how did you manage to deserve someone like him? And if he loves you as much as you love him, rest assured that he sees you the same way.

Who knows if, when you open this letter, you have managed to live as you always dreamt. In any case — rise; stand up; come out. You are loved by many. You will never be alone.

You are awaited — what are you waiting for?

Yours, From years in the past, you

***

@desi-lgbt-fest

53 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sirenascelestiales]

So…I just gave lots of stuff to write down and think about and figured I’d do so on the public journal that is my tumblr.

been watching lots of tv lately:

Heartstopper season 3 (loved it! I’m glad younger gens have this very cute but still serious topic show that isn’t just like a drag about hardships)

I made it to s1e7 of sense8 and idk if it’s cause of how much cast there is but like I don’t find myself curious about their connection or much about their lives? I find myself caring more about Capheus’ storyline and wishing they fleshed it out more and about Kala and Wolfgang’s chemistry and wanting to learn more about that than any of the others tbh 🤷‍♀️ I mostly get annoyed at Sun’s and Nomi’s storyline but not like “I wanna know what happens” more like “this is too annoying to watch” I think I’m gonna give up on it as I stopped 2weeks ago now and haven’t feel like watching

I’ve made it to season 4 of Sex and the City, that show benefits from being 30 mins instead of the hour cause some episodes I’m like “no that’s not good in 2024” but also I don’t hate Carrie as much as everyone seems to? Don’t get me wrong the focus should have been on Samantha, I agree with that. But Carrie just seems like any other woman looking for love and gets blinded by that to me? She’s a better friend I think to Miranda than she is Charlotte and Sam. Despite all of them calling each other best friend I know some people our age back in like Middle school said that’s the title for 1 person not multiples. Anyway, it’s entertaining enough, idk how Carrie chose Big over 90s John Corbett but they’re both kinda terrible so they deserve each other?

besides what I’ve watched of SATC I only knew that someone has breast cancer (I think Miranda) and then a baby (I assume Charlotte who has a wet blanket for a husband, who should marry his mother so I hope she like finds another WASPy man to marry) and anyway I was going to say it does feel like a real friend group and that’s why I’ve stuck with it more than Sense8

A discovery of witches! Short about 8 episodes per season, 3 seasons and I’m done already! It’s been a super fun random little show! I’m on the waitlist to read the first book at my library and honestly the only gripe I have for this “twilight for graduate students” 🤣 is gallowglass’s love came out of NOWHERE and the demons are useless they should have had some semblance of power beyond “influential” and I had to Google why they were allegedly powerful. Otherwise it wasn’t even that clear if they were like immortal (I assume so cause of Hamish).

Watched Interview With the Vampire and obviously that’s been my favorite; best show, best acting, (Adow is probably the prettiest looking show cause of the locations but it’s also AMC so kudos to those ppl👏 ) no notes! Excited for season 3

onto life!

my doggo was sick last week. $800 later, vet told me he ate something bad and had a bacterial infection in his GI system. He is better now 💕 back to barking at the kids who wait for the bus in front of our house. 🐶

Work: I’ve now made like 5 massive typos across like 3 mass emails, one of them to our external community and 😩

logically, it’s not the end of the world. And everyone was cool about it (I discovered them all post-send but before someone could tell me 😅 so I was somewhat prepared) but I feel like a failure at my (new) job as it is communications. And even my boss was like “don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens” but like ITS EMBARRASSING

😭

Personally, I’m learning how to swim! Signed up back in summer idk when? Started late September and have 2 more lessons to go! I can’t breathe! I either hold my breath the entire time or when I move my head out of the water to breathe I move too much of my body (according to the instructor) and lose my not balance but it’s not swimming properly anymore.

I need to find a way to move my legs, arms and head in a rhythm that allows me to properly swim. However! I really enjoy being in the water! I’m learning at the rec center that only has 1 pool and it’s constantly booked for lessons but free most of the weekend midday to afternoon. But! There’s a local aquatics center that is almost a little bit closer but a bit expensive ($55/month what I used to pay for a gym back when I went during college) that holds Zumba and yoga in the pool and just lets you swim daily (no weekends tho 😒) so I’m debating! Bc I’ve never liked working out or the gym but I enjoy yoga and Zumba and being in a pool! So we shall see.

in other news, went to a cider festival in early September and haven’t had alcohol since (not purposefully just realized it last week) so I’m trying sober October and 😒 never has it felt more like there’s only alcoholic activities available than now just after committing myself to it! Didn’t tell anyone either and last night when I went out with friends they all were weird about me saying I didn't want to drink! Which huh 🤔 didn’t realize my friends were weirdos, we were at a bar and I said I’d be the DD (we have driven there before and ended up with Ubers when we realize we shouldn’t drive). Point is now it’s out of spite 😈

I don’t think my friends are terrible I just also don’t think we’ve ever had like a sober due to past abuse of alcohol or substance friend 🤷‍♀️ that I know of

also helped that weird sorta crush I had on a friend of a friend, since I stayed sober I realized he’s gunning for another friend of a friend and if she’s his type I am not (they’re both heavily tattooed and she’s very skinny and goth - I am 0 tattoos, chubby and not super girly but I wore a pink polka dot top! So not a match! 🤣)

Feels good to write that all down…