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talkingpointsusa · 10 months ago

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Fake psyops and real Neo-Nazi's; A look into Charlie Kirk and Jack Posobiec's unhinged Rumble show

There's an Eagle behind my shoulder because MURICA!!! (Source: The Charlie Kirk Show on Rumble)

So, Charlie Kirk has been acting like a complete moron lately. He put out an "expose" on Martin Luther King Jr. that was essentially just him being a mask-off racist and parroting myths and rumors about MLK and now he's in hot water for saying that if he saw a black pilot he'd be automatically worried that they are unqualified.

The episode we are covering today is not his main show, it's from a show that he puts out on Thursdays with a guy named Jack Posobiec called ThoughtCrime. If that name doesn't immediately set off any alarm bells, this might not be the right blog for you. Lets get into it.

Trigger warning; pretty explicit discussion of racist remarks made by the four panelists on this show and others. Towards the end of the post these guys endorse somebody who is extremely racist and they get super disgusting about immigrants in the middle.

Wait a minute, who the hell is Jack Posobiec?:

I'm glad that you asked completely hypothetical viewer, Jack Posobiec is a complete lunatic and a possible Neo-Nazi.

Before he was a famous figure in the far-right media ecosystem, Jack was a US intelligence officer in the navy who was a key figure in promoting and lying about far-right conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate. Jack's Pizzagate coverage, in case you are wondering, consisted of him and his friend live-streaming some kids birthday party on Periscope and getting kicked out. As it turns out, live-streaming some kids birthday party on the internet comes off as extremely creepy. People took this as a sign that Comet Ping Pong had something to hide and Pizzagate started trending soon after.

He also allegedly took a sign reading "rape Melania" to an anti-Trump protest in order to slander the protestors. He eventually got his security clearance revoked for trying to downplay the Charlottesville Unite The Right Rally by pointing to the medias lack of coverage to shootings in Chicago.

Jack also has recorded ties to Neo-Nazis. He has a documented history of paling around with Neo-Nazi activist Richard Spencer. Jack has also used coded language such as the triple parentheses meme, an antisemitic dog whistle where one puts triple parentheses around the name of a Jewish person that originated on a white nationalist blog called The Right Stuff.

Golly, I wonder who "them" refers to.

The Southern Poverty Law Centre has a fantastic deep dive into Jack Posobiec's consistent association with white nationalists but in short, this guy at the very least has Neo-Nazi sympathies. The fact that Charlie Kirk is doing a show with him is pretty mask off in and of itself.

The Debunk:

Jack isn't the only new face on ThoughtCrime. Tyler Bowyer and Blake Neff are also co-hosts and they also have...interesting histories lets say.

Blake Neff was a former writer for Tucker Carlson Tonight who was fired after posting some truly insane racist remarks on a forum called AutoAdmit. I won't repeat what he said here but trust me....it's bad and it involves the n-word. Think about it this way, you've got to be pretty damn racist for Tucker Freaking Carlson to fire you. Again, the fact that Charlie is hanging out with this guy on air raises a lot of red flags.

I could find less info on Tyler Bowyer. He's a member of the Republican National Committee and the chief operating officer of Turning Point USA and the COO of Turning Point Action. He apparently sued Arizona's governor in an effort to overturn the 2020 election on the basis of voter fraud. The suit got rejected.

Here's something you need to understand about ThoughtCrime before we get into the debunk, this is where Charlie lets loose his most deranged takes. Sure, he says a lot of unhinged stuff on his own show but ThoughtCrime is truly the wild west of right-wing lunacy. We'll definitely cover more of it in the future.

Anyway, here's how they start off.

02:32, Charlie Kirk: "So, what is going on with Barbie?"

Jack Posobiec: "So, you know, Charlie, just real quick. You know, it's very strange, I was out reporting on the campaign trail today earlier today, had to fly in for ThoughtCrime, and I just made sure -- right before I went up, I said 'guys could you tell me the name of my pilot by chance before, before I get in', I'm not gonna name the airline, United, and they said 'his name is John Smith' and I said 'OK, wonderful, thank you so much'."

First of all, I seriously doubt that this happened. John Smith is one of the most made up names in the history of made up names. If it did, it just indicates that Jack is a racist who automatically assumes that anybody with an ethnic name or background can't be a good pilot.

I talked about this with Matt Walsh, but the diversity hire argument is built on the bedrock of a racist conclusion that minorities cannot be good pilots. This is a completely racist and insane conclusion to make however this argument is being made in the right-wing media, just in barely coded language about diversity hires.

03:40, Jack Posobiec: "Barbie, Margot Robbie, snubbed for the best actress category. Greta Gerwig for best director, also snubbed. But you know who got nominated for best category? That's right, Ryan Gosling for Ken. And for the, as Rush used to call them, the feminazi's out there it was basically like 9/11 because the patriarchy got the achievement while the women were told 'well, you are not allowed on stage. You have to stay in the kitchen.' And it just goes to show you folks, we're back, we're so absolutely back."

Jack's really stupid sexist remarks about women "having to stay in the kitchen" being a good thing aside, yes, the Barbie Movie got snubbed at the Oscars with the exception of Ryan Gosling.

The issue isn't necessary just with the fact that Greta and Margot got snubbed, the issue is that it highlights a streak of sexism that exists within the Oscars. The Barbie Movie was a massive critical and financial success and was directed by a female, yet she isn't being recognized for it. Same with Margot Robbie starring in the film.

At the Oscars, this turn of events is more common than you might think. A 2020 study published by Emerson College showed that men are almost twice as likely to win best picture than women. Many people feel like the snubs revolving around the Barbie Movie highlight this issue. I don't think that this is really the most important story in the world since we are facing more important issues as a society right now, but it's certainly interesting to think about.

06:35, Blake Neff: "The New York Times has this big headline; 'For Barbie Fans Online, a bitterly ironic Oscar snub. Margot Robbie missed Academy Award nomination for actress, a fact that was a little too on the nose for some.' I will note, the Oscar category is for best actress. So the implication is she got left out due to sexism but she just didn't get the nomination compared to other women competing in the same category--"

First of all, this ignores the fact that Greta Gerwig got snubbed for best director. Unless the category is "best female director" and everybody got it wrong, the snub for best director was questionable at best.

Second of all, the point is that Margot Robbie was excluded from the Oscars whilst her male co-star Ryan Gosling wasn't. It isn't that she was excluded from best actress in of itself, it's the people in the movie that they chose to include and exclude.

07:05, Blake Neff: "Maybe some of them played dudes, it's all the rage these days."

....That's not how gender identity works.

07:09, Blake Neff: "So, it fits into this realm in cinema where they just complain about things that are not real and don't happen."

I'm not sure if Blake has seen a right-wing YouTube channel before but you guys complain about movies all the freaking time! Tim Pool alone could probably rebrand into a right-wing film criticism channel without much trouble.

07:17, Blake Neff: "A few years ago they had a Captain Marvel come out, it was one of the stupid superhero movies, and they acted like it was the first time a woman had ever starred in a major motion picture but in fact many women have starred in motion pictures and best actress has been an Oscar category going back, as far as I know, to the original Oscars."

I am starting to think that FOX was looking for an excuse to fire Blake before his forum posts were discovered because this is absolutely daft stuff.

Absolutely nobody on the planet thought that Captain Marvel was the first time a woman starred in a major motion picture. It was the first time a woman starred in a Marvel movie so people were talking about that. He's arguing against a point that's stupid....so stupid that nobody was making it!

Anyway, Blake isn't done being a complete goon.

07:54, Blake Neff: "Well they have nominated some women for best director even though the best directors are in fact men so there is in fact that."

Agnès Varda, Lilly Wachowski (a trans woman no less!), the aforementioned Greta Gerwig. I could go on and on.

09:04, Charlie Kirk: "I don't really watch movies because they're all CIA psychological operation programming."

To InfoWars with you Charlie! Anybody who thinks that Charlie Kirk is a serious person should take some time to think about that statement.

I guess Tyler isn't so important to this show, makes sense because he is the only one of these guys who hasn't made the news for being an outright racist on the internet. I love how he's sitting quietly going "yeah, I work here too!"

13:16, Jack Posobiec: "The end of this movie is that Barbie is superior to Ken and that women are superior to men and that women are not allowed to be held accountable, women are not allowed to be subject to objective standards of anything, because women of course, the main thing they want is to be the center of attention and have everyone talking about them and if everyone is not then it is obviously because of sexism and is because of misogyny. That is quite literally, quite literally, the message of this film."

That's not what I took away from Barbie when I watched it at all but go off I guess. The fact that Jack's review of the movie just turned into a rant about how much he hates women should probably clue you in on how he drew that conclusion.

See what I mean about this show being mask off? This is the kind of thing you'd expect to hear on Hanna Pearl Davis' channel (which I plan on covering very soon. Watch this space).

14:57, Jack Posobiec: "It's just a movie. Guys, like, you're stupid if you think it's just a movie, like honestly. This is one of the most high-level democrat operations that's been going on for a long time in our country. If you wanna know why DEI, if you wanna know why all this political correctness stuff is being pushed at the highest level, it's because people get their understanding of the world from Hollywood movies and if you don't understand the influence they have on our society then, like, maybe stop watching the show."

You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen, the Barbie Movie is a psyop that's being backed by the Democratic Party. Why? To trick people into....treating women like human beings I guess.

It's such a successful and well-funded psyop that it got snubbed at the Oscars. This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever even if we were to just go with the information that Jack and Co have provided. Unless of course, you understand the real reason why Jack has spun this conspiracy which is that he is a misogynist who feels threatened by women far more famous and influential than himself.

15:40, Charlie Kirk: "Jack, thank you. Let's get onto the Texas topic here. Blake, what is the latest? There seems to be a big cascading effect on Texas."

So, I guess we're going to be talking about the "border civil war" now. Blake Neff is absolutely one of the last people I would go to for information about this story. So, what happened?

Well, in essence, the supreme court allowed border patrol agents to remove razor wire that Texas installed along the border to deter migrants from entering the country as a part of it's Operation Lone Star campaign. The razor wire itself was a cruel and inhumane policy that did nothing but dehumanize and harm migrants attempting to find shelter in the United States. The Justice Department argued that the razor wire made it difficult for federal border patrol agents to effectively do their jobs.

Once the razor wire was taken down, Governor Greg Abbott turned around and issued the order for more razor wire to be put up, directly defying the Supreme Court.

Since then it's been a complete shitstorm with blog favorites like Matt Walsh and Tim Pool declaring that a civil war is imminent. Whatsmore, there's a trucker convoy headed to the southern border to start a series of rallies. I can see that going sideways REALLY quickly and so did Alex Jones who preemptively declared any violence at the border to be a "false flag". Essentially, all of the hateful conspiracies like the "great replacement theory" are starting to come to a head and shit might get really messy really quickly.

Anyway, lets see what these morons have to say about this situation.

16:03, Blake Neff: "So, big story this week, other than New Hampshire, is that Texas has been fighting over whether they should allow 3 million people into the United States every year in an endless flood tide of humanity until they inundate the entire country or they could not allow that to happen."

This whole "army of migrants" narrative is soaked in the rights paranoia about foreigners replacing them and turning America into a non-white nation.

The fact of the matter is that the right wants there to be a crisis at the border. Without a crisis at the border, the right can't fearmonger about migrants on the campaign trail. Why else would they repeatedly block the democrats efforts to curb migration at the border? Biden also managed to remove a higher percentage of migrants in his first two years than Trump did during his last two years.

Their coverage on this is actually pretty boring to be honest. But lets power through. Here's Blake being a hypocrite.

19:41, Blake Neff: "It's so reckless. You have this, especially on the far-left of the Democrat party, they're really loving the idea of 'lets stoke this crisis as much as possible'."

Every single right-wing propagandist has been extremely inflammatory about this story for clicks and Blake is doing it right now. Whatsmore, the party he supports is literally taking steps to stoke this crisis as much as possible by shooting down Biden's deals for tightening security at the border.

20:22, Charlie Kirk: "Now the spirit of the decision, not the text of the decision, basically is like 'Hey, let the federal government determine border policy'"

Charlie is wrong on a lot of levels here.

First of all, razor wire is actually pretty ineffective at deterring migrant crossings at the border and only serves as an unneeded hazard for federal border patrol workers whilst also being an inhumane way of handling migrants. When the razor wire was up, people would either tunnel under it or use scraps of cloth to climb over it. The razor wire has also led to people getting caught in it and drowning, including a pregnant woman. This wire also prevents the federal authorities from saving these peoples lives. It's just unnecessary cruelty for the sake of it and fails at the thing it's stated to accomplish.

Also, if Charlie cracked open his Turning Point USA Constitution for more than twelve seconds, he'd find a little something called the Supremacy Clause. This clause states that federal law has greater authority than state law. So the Supreme Court didn't just make this up on a Tuesday last week in order to screw Texas over, it's the law and Governor Abbott is flagrantly breaking it. Charlie is in essence describing something that's already in place.

Anyway, Charlie seems to realize that Tyler has been spending the show presumably staring off into space whilst drooling and tries to get him to chip in. This is a bad idea.

21:46, Charlie Kirk: "So Tyler, I wanna get you in on this. Tyler was, he didn't chirp in, get it? Because chirp is a theme here on the Barbie thing and that's fine. Tyler, what are the politics of this? You've radicalized me on the border over the years, you're seventh generation Arizonan. This is a winning issue, it's becoming like the issue, the grassroots are on fire, swing voters, independents. Talk about the politics of this."

I refuse to believe that Charlie Kirk needed to be radicalized on the border. Anyway, here's Tyler talking about the politics of the border. It's dumb as all hell.

22:10, Tyler Bowyer: "I mean, I wanna harken back to a law that was passed in Arizona that was very controversial at the time. It was, at the time Arizona had a supermajority Republicans in the state senate and they passed a law called SB1070, I don't know if you remember this. It was the Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods act and this was the-

Charlie Kirk: "Arizona used to be amazing man."

Tyler Bowyer: "It was, oh we we were so good. And Senator Russel Pierce, rest in peace, he passed away last year, was the author of it, was the prime sponsor, and it was supported by a majority of, the supermajority, in the state legislature here. And this is -- it made it a crime, a misdemeanor crime, for an illegal alien that gets caught here without any kind of paperwork whatsoever. It was a crime, there was financial crime, there was you'd get thrown in jail, and ultimately we would send them back to Mexico. And that was basically aiding ICE with doing it's job, because ICE wasn't doing it's job at the time, during the Obama Administration. The second piece to this was you could go to jail if you hired or aided or helped an illegal alien."

I can see why Tyler hasn't spoken that much up until now, he's about as articulate as an intoxicated long-haul trucker. Also, would you believe that he's leaving some stuff out about SB1070? Shocking, I know.

One of the provisions allowed the police to arrest people without a warrant if they suspected them of being an illegal immigrant. This extremely dystopian provision was struck down. What wasn't struck down however was the police being able to demand somebodies papers and investigate their immigration status if they suspect them of being an illegal immigrant. All this did was invite unnecessary racial profiling on minorities, including those who immigrated legally. Also, the fact that you guys just mentioned that you've been complaining about the border since Obama is really not a good look.

24:48, Tyler Bowyer: "It has nothing to do with Mexican immigrants, it has everything to do with people coming and jumping our border from all over across the world."

Then why are you guys ranting about the Texas border so much?!

24:54, Charlie Kirk: "So Tyler, help me understand the psychology because the border fight, whether we like it or not, is largely being driven by Chamber of Commerce people right now. And I don't think they want it, I just think that it's so popular, it's such in demand, it's such a crisis. I mean Abbott's a nice person, he's a chamber guy, he's better than Bush, he's not a movement conservative but he's acting like one, how do you explain that?"

This is such a stupid question, let me answer it.

This entire "border Civil War" is just a bunch of political grandstanding meant to help Trump get back into power. Greg is absolutely a movement conservative and I get the sense that Charlie is struggling to communicate to this audience that a guy he's stated isn't on their team is on their team now.

"Oh yeah, he's not a movement Conservative....he just behaves exactly like one. But he's not one of us because...well he just isn't, ok?!"

Tylers answer is so boring and nonsensical that it doesn't even warrant transcripting.

26:32, Charlie Kirk: "So, Jack, I wanna get you in on this. You and I, Jack, are on a group chat with somebody we really respect, please don't say the name, but he's someone we respect, he comes to our shows, he speaks at our events, and he's very worried that what's happening in Texas is gonna spark a civil war and we debated this in chat. Jack, can you just strongman this argument and why it's wrong?"

I am 99.9% sure that "mystery person" is Steve Bannon.

Anyway, Jack chips in.

26:50, Jack Posobiec: "Well so, there's -- there's a couple pieces of it and so we do need to talk about the wider situation of whats going on. So, we have Abbott there obviously saying that he's not gonna back down to the Biden Administrations pressure. The Supreme Court ruling, I think a lot of people have taken this out of context and they're saying that the Supreme Court told Texas to take down all the razor wire or that the Biden Administration was gonna take down all the razor wire and that's not actually true."

They authorized federal agents to take the razor wire down, I'm not sure how it could be more clear.

Jack's answer gets even more rambly and he starts ranting about BLM. In this rant, he drops what might be one of the most blatant distortions of the truth that I've seen while writing for this blog.

28:34, Jack Posobiec: "And unfortunately of course, we are not the BLM people. Our side is not going to get treated like them. The City of Seattle just agreed to a ten million dollar deal to pay the activists as they called them, the members of ANTIFA and BLM who were burning down Seattle and set up CHAZ in 2020, ten million dollars because of the police tactics used in CHAZ. That's what happens when the left gets activated and does direct action."

See, this is a great example of how slimy Jack is.

The City of Seattle didn't "make a deal" with the protestors, they settled a lawsuit with 50 protestors who were met with excessive force by the Seattle Police Department.

How excessive you ask? Well, just ask Aubreanna Inda who was hit in the chest by a blast ball and sent into cardiac arrest. One of the plaintiffs was an already disabled veteran who was teargassed and tackled by the police. So yeah, pretty goddamn excessive.

All of this is absent from Jacks retelling of the story and if you just took his word without doing any research, you would assume that Seattle just gave ANTIFA and BLM ten million dollars out of the blue. It's a completely bald faced misrepresentation of the story and it's designed to manipulate their audiences into thinking that the left just gets off easy with everything and are actually rewarded for destroying cities and rioting. Never mind that bodycam footage presented in court proved that these protestors were peaceful and facts be damned!

30:20, Jack Posobiec: "Lets say some illegal immigrant gets shot or gets killed or, as we saw last week, drowns and then they blame it on Greg Abbott. They say 'This is your fault you white male Christian governor. You did this' and they'll turn that guy into the next George Floyd."

Charlie Kirk: "So they want Jorge Floyd, is what they want. They wanna try to have a young man who is trying to come into the country, five or six years old, get drowning and they say 'Oh my goodness, look at this' and then they try to make it go viral and it's because of the open borders, ok?"

If five or six year old children are drowning at the border, there's clearly a massive problem on Greg Abbott's side that needs to be addressed. These guys don't care though.

30:54, Blake Neff: "They just have all of these professional photographers with HD cameras, there was a thing last summer that was like this. The New York Post had like 'This mother and child are crawling through razor wire on the border and thank goodness there was this professional reporter with an HD camera right there to photograph the entire thing the whole time.'"

"Yeah, look at these psychos.....practicing journalism. That's sick man!"

Even if there is an open border, which there isn't because the border is more highly guarded than it ever has been but lets leave that aside for now, wouldn't it make sense to have reporters there to cover it? God, these people are complete idiots.

31:58, Charlie Kirk: "Remember, when there's an issue that is not going in their direction in election years, they need a psyop. George Floyd was a psyop. And even Blake will agree, I'm not saying that the actual incident was but the all in platforming and overemphasis on that incident. And by the way, there's a lot more to that incident than people would ever think. A lot more. In fact it's more and more clear that George Floyd was not murdered and he was either drug overdosed or there was something else regarding it right? Regarding that."

Tyler Bowyer: "Derek Chauvin did nothing wrong."

Oh my goooooooddddddddd.

The myth that George Floyd wasn't murdered has been debunked countless times but just to humor Chuckles and co, the autopsy showed no evidence of a drug overdose. Chauvin was taped murdering George Floyd and if he was a white conservative we wouldn't hear the end of it, and you know what it would be just as repulsive if it were a white conservative because murders murder!

Also, this conspiracy theory makes no sense. So, some unspecified issue wasn't going in the Democrats direction so they waited until the police murdered a black man on video tape and then amplified it. That's the most circumstantial and luck based evil plan on the bloody planet.

I guess everything is a psyop now. I declare this blog to be a psyop!

32:31, Jack Posobiec: "If you go to the Wikipedia article for, they call it the Standoff at Eagle Pass, you guys gotta pull this up. The Standoff at Eagle Pass. They're already describing it on Wikipedia, left wing platform, as if it's some kind of battle. They're listing the governors on one side, they're listing Biden on the other, and it already says 'casualties and losses, three migrants drowned.'"

This is so stupid. So apparently Wikipedia, a platform that literally anybody can edit by the way, is where the CIA announces their psyops to the world. Also three migrants did drown, two of them children.

I don't get what Jack's point here even is. Does he think that Wikipedia doesn't create new pages for literally any major event almost immediately?

33:53, Charlie Kirk: "Let me tell you what the cartel does. This is a true story and I heard this from two separate border patrol agents. The cartel will throw a three year old in the river and do you know what Texas National Guard and border patrol does? They go out of their way, they mobilize everyone to go save the three year old that's drowning. Do you know what that does? It creates a diversionary affect and then the got aways hundreds of miles away scatter into the country. That's what's happening on the border, the cartel is throwing kids into the Rio Grande river on a daily basis."

Lets not mince words here, this is fucking disgusting.

So, Charlie is using some made up story that he allegedly heard from border patrol agents that doesn't really make any sense (you're telling me that every single border patrol agent focuses on the kid. Surely some stay behind to protect the border) to justify border patrol agents letting children die.

Think about it, the conclusion that Charlie is trying to draw is that we should let kids die. Otherwise you'd be letting people from the cartel into the US. Maybe he didn't mean it that way but it sure as hell comes off that way. And that's not even mentioning that border patrol agents have been ordered in the past to push children into rivers so it's really the opposite.

Screw Charlie Kirk.

36:59, Blake Neff: "And by the way, you know, drunk driving is not a felony he said even though it kills thousands of people a year. But, you know, who cares about a crime that's disproportionately committed by illegal immigrants."

Here's a whole study about how this claim is bullshit. At the end of the day, there's no statistical relationship between illegal immigrants and drunk driving.

They start talking about some Great Replacement bullshit and by this point I am praying for them to switch over to the next topic because these guys takes on the border are so fundamentally incorrect.

I'm assuming these guys took one look at the Supremacy Clause, thought "wrong supremacy", and then just never read it again. And they keep saying that Biden is on the side of the migrants, no he's not. Ignoring the fact that they are portraying migrants in the extremely racist light of being "invaders", they are completely ignoring the GOP's repeated efforts to turn down all of Biden's policies that give them what they wanted.

There's not much more in the section about the border that we need to talk about. It's just Chuckles babbling about the Great Replacement Theory. They talk really graphically and exploitatively about child sex trafficking and it's really gross.

Charlie does a segment that's basically just an obscenely long ad for extremely sketchy "emergency health kits". Charlie tries to defend his stupid-ass and racist comments about black pilots and it's ridiculous. He thanks Jordan Peterson, Tim Pool, Matt Walsh, and Candace Owens for their support. I've covered all four of them except for Candace (and believe me, she's coming) and they all are complete idiots and awful people. It's so useless, just Charlie going "Yeah, I'm not racist....I just said something that sounds racist and you misinterpreted me." Let’s look at a little bit of it, we don't need to look at too much but it's so ridiculous.

1:02:03, Charlie Kirk: "What I was saying is that DEI creates and fosters sinful, unwholesome, thought patterns."

No, that's on you Charlie. Being a racist is a choice YOU made. And again, DEI doesn't mean that people are lowering the standard for minorities and hiring unqualified people. His entire argument is that the left made him racist because of DEI.

Anyway, they just circklejerk about how the left transformed him into a racist. I don't get why we are talking about pilots given that this discourse is about Boeing planes having structural defects that the pilots can't control.

1:09:00, Blake Neff: "Like I said, people online just totally lost their minds over this. And when I say lost their minds, I mean like pointing, sputtering, crying, vomiting, pooping themselves, pulling the poop out of their pants, smearing it at their faces, screaming at the mirror."

Ah, so what conservatives do when they see a trans person just trying to live their life.

Also, I don't know if I speak for the entire left but when I saw the video of Charlie talking about black pilots I just thought "Oh, Charlie being a dick again. Maybe I'll cover this on my blog, maybe not." and just moved on with my life.

1:09:17, Blake Neff: "One of the people doing this was a fellow, Jack is also very familiar with, his name is Will Stancil."

Charlie Kirk: "See, I'm unfamiliar and uninitiated with this whole topic."

Blake Neff: "Will Stancil, he's got about 70,000 Twitter followers. He is a liberal. You can put him on the screen, 162. He's got what we call an IPA bod, I don't know if he's done a bench press or another weight."

Charlie Kirk: "He's also got a low vitamin D level."

Blake Neff: "Yeah, he doesn't have the best physical expression of the genes within his body."

What exactly do you mean by expression of his genes?

Also, I don't like knocks on peoples physical appearances. It's a super pointless and immature way to argue and leads to absolutely nothing productive. That being said, these guys are absolutely ones to talk. Charlie alone has almost exactly the same build as Will.

Anyway, Will apparently got into some Twitter fight with a guy named Steve Sailer who these guys like. Guess what? He's another white nationalist! He works at VDARE and published a book entitled America's Half Blood Prince: Barack Obama's "story of Race and Inheritance. These naturally should set off a five alarm fire of red flags in any reasonable persons mind but in case you aren't convinced that this guy is a white nationalist, here's a quote from one of his writings:

"Five out of six African-Americans have IQs below the white average. But not talking about this IQ difference has singularly failed to make it go away. The black-white gap has remained roughly one standard deviation for the last 80 years." - Steve Sailer.

Can't get more obvious than that I'm afraid. Naturally, these goons love Steve. You know that old saying about he who sits with Nazi's....

1:10:36, Jack Posobiec: "I think I finished our last episode saying. I said it very quickly but I said 'Shout out to Steve Sailer, the godfather of ThoughtCrime.'"

These guys declaring a person who works at a white nationalist website to be the godfather of their show is such a poetic end to this post that I just have to end it here. Also, I am fed up with these four guys so there's that.

Conclusion:

Just wow. I knew ThoughtCrime was a very mask off show considering that it's only syndicated on Rumble but holy shit! We've learnt that every movie is a psyop and that these guys are fans of a goddamn white nationalist! That's a level of insane that I didn't expect.

Anyway, I wish Charlie all the worst and all of you all the best. Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

#right wing bullshit #fuck the alt right #conservative bullshit #fact checking #conservatives #disinformation #debunking #politics #charlie kirk #turning point usa #misinformation #us politics #right wing extremism #hypocrisy

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nokingsonlyfooles · 9 months ago

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I still have the first HP book, in paperback, because I bought it to read on the train when I took a trip to meet my then-internet-friend, and now-spouse for the first time. We met in a public place to go to a movie - it was a weird time, we were all very worried about internet murderers in the aughties. We saw Chicken Run. I wanted something from the concessions stand (I think it was an Icee) and he went and got it for me and let me keep reading, when a more NT person would've snubbed me for being rude with my nose in a book.

I should've married his ass in the theatre right after the movie!

But he'd already read it, and he knew it was good, and he kept asking where I was, and what plot twist I was up to, and he did not spoil anything. By the time #4 came out, we were living together and buying the new books as soon as they hit the US market.

We were old, though, is what I'm saying. It seems pretty damn young now, but we never expected a Hogwarts letter. And, reading this, I suddenly realize how many weird kids must've broken down in tears because they just weren't weird enough to get rescued from their situations like Harry. Sorry, kiddo. No one's coming to tell your bullies and abusers to fuck off, and you won't get to go to a better place where all your weird traits are actually normal and fine and awesome. And that's because of traits you weren't born with that you can't ever change.

Jesus, that's terrible! Later, she even tried to mitigate it by coming out with the WOMBATs, and the idea that you can live in magical society if you're not the right magic race, but you will be disabled and marginalized. (She can't go back and change how squibs and muggles and even muggle-borns are treated, if you've read the books you know how you'd be treated by the Wizarding World.) But, fundamentally, this is a lesson in bioessentialism and knowing your place. The actual story was so engaging that we didn't see all of this stuff until she started saying it unfiltered, with no fictional universe to hide behind.

Thank god we're post-Potter, and there are new magical places where if you weren't born to it, you can still do it anyway. I'm thinking of The Owl House in particular, they were stellar, with a cast full of people with different levels of ability. My fellow freaks and queers, how much did you need to hear as a kid, "OK, because of how you are, your experiences are going to be different. You might need to slow down for me, or I might need to slow down for you. You might go through some shit because you do things differently or need accommodations, and some people will try to say you don't belong here, but you do. You belong here and the good guys are gonna make sure you get to stay." And that holds true for Earth and the Boiling Isles.

(I also made magic all-access in my magical world, which I really should plug more. It's not very popular. And due to upheavals in WordPress, the site's pretty broken now.)

Fuck the letters. Don't ask permission. You're here and you deserve to be here. It's on the rest of us help make sure you can stay, so fuck Fate too. Do it because it needs doing. And if GOD HIMSELF tells you to knock it off, spit in his holy Eye.

I wrote a 12 page epilogue to my 2019 comic "Harry Potter and The Problematic Author" because I found, in 2023, that I had more to say. You can also find this comic on my website, and I have PDF copies available on etsy. I may sell print copies at some point in the future.

instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

Full transcript below the cut.

PAGE 1

Part one: Ruddy Owls!

I was in fourth grade when the first Harry Potter Book was released in the US.

Panel 1: Sometimes our teacher would read it aloud in class. “Mr and Mrs Dursley of number 4 Privat Drive were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…”

Panel 2: I was 11 years old when Harry Potter finally broke through my dyslexia and turned me into a reader.

Panel 3: Every night in the summer before sixth grade I waited for the owl carrying my Hogwarts Letter. I cried when it didn’t come. “I have to go to Muggle school!”

PAGE 2

Part Two: Hats

I dedicated myself to being a fan.

Panel 1: I began collecting Harry Potter News article.

Panel 2: I asked my relatives to mail me ones from their local papers. I filled a thick binder with clippings.

Panel 3: I wrote my own trivia quiz

Panel 4: and participated in the one held annually at the county fair. “Next contestant!”

Panel 5: I usually got into one of. the top five spots. I won boxes of candy, posters, stationary, and once a baseball cap. (Hat reads: I survived the battle of Hogwarts).

Panel 6: In high school I sewed a black velvet cape and knitted many stripped scarves.

PAGE 3

Part Three: Double Trouble

Watching the last film in 2011 felt like the final note of my childhood.

Panel 1: I remember driving home from the midnight showing thinking about the end of 13 years of waiting; wondering what would define the next chapter of my life.

Panel 2: That same month I heard of something called Pottermore. “Okay, so there’s a sorting quiz… I already know my house! Patronus assignment? Mine’s a barn owl. Duh!"

Panel 3: You can read the books again but with GIFs? Why?

Panel 4: I lived in a place with very slow and limited internet at the time. Pottermore sounded inaccessible, but also boring. I never joined.

Panel 5: "I’ll just read the actual books again, thanks."

PAGE 4

Part Four: Sweets

In 2016, a series of short stories titled "History of Magic in North America” were released on Pottermore to pave the way for the first Fantastic Beasts Film. These stories display an extreme ignorance of American history, culture, and geography, but the worst parts are the casual misuse of indigenous beliefs and stories. Fans and critics immediately spoke up against this appropriation. Some of the most quoted voices included Nambe Pueblo scholar Dr. Debbie Reese who runs the site “American Indians In Children’s Literature”; Navajo writer Brian Young; Johnnie Jae (Otoe-Missouria and Choctaw), founder of A Tribe Called Geek; Dr Adrienne Keene (Cherokee Nation), a Professor at Brown University who runs the blog “Native Appropriations”, and writers N.K. Jemison and Paula Young Lee.

PAGE 5

Rowling is famous for responding to fans directly on twitter, yet she did not respond to anyone calling out the damaging aspects of “Magic in North America.” Her representatives refused to comment for March 9 2016 article in the Guardian. She has never apologized. All of this, plus the casting of Johnny Depp and the specific declarations of support by JKR, Warner Brothers, and director David Yates left a sour taste in my mouth.

For further thoughts on the new films read The Crimes of Grindelwald is a Mess by Alanna Bennett for Buzzfeed News, November 16, 2018.

PAGE 6

Excerpt from Colonialism in Wizarding American: JK Rowling’s History of Magic in North America Through an Indigenous Lens by Allison Mills, MFA, MAS/MLIS (Cree and Settler French Canadian)

Although Rowling is certainly not the first white author to misstep in her treatment of Indigenous cultures, she has an unprecedented level of visibility and fame, […] One of the most glaring problems with Rowling’s story is her treatment of the many Indigenous nations in North America as one monolithic group. […It] flattens out the diversity of languages, belief systems, and cultures that exist in Indigenous communities, allowing stereotyping to persist. […] It continues a long history of colonial texts which ignore that Indigenous peoples still exist. […] In the Wizarding world, as in the real world, Indigenous histories have been over-written and our cultures erased.

from The Looking Glass: New Perspectives in Children’s Literature Volumn 19, Issue 1

PAGE 7

Part 5: Music

Panel 1: Also in 2016 I discovered two podcasts which radically altered my experience of being an HP fan. The first was Witch Please created by two Canadian feminist literary scholars Hannah McGregor and Marcelle Kosman.

Panel 2: “If it’s not in the text it doesn’t count!” “Close reading ONLY!”

Panel 3: They talk about Harry Potter at the level you’d expect in a college class with particular focus on gender, race, class, and the troubling fatphobia, fear of othered and queer coded bodies, violence against women, white feminism, gaslighting and failed pedagogy in the books. They bring up these issues not because they hate the series, but because they LOVE it.

PAGE 8

These passionate, joyful conversations went off like fireworks in my mind. I had never taken a feminist class before. I gained a whole new vocabulary to talk about the books- and the world.

PAGE 9

Panel 1: The second podcast I started that year was Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, created by two graduates of the Harvard Divinity School, Vanessa Zoltan and Casper Ter Kuile.

Panel 2: They read one chapter per episode through a theme such as love, control, curiosity, shame, responsibility, hospitality, destruction, or mystery. Like Witch Please, they are interested only in the information on the page, not thoughts from the author. The delights and failures of the text are examined in the context of the present day, and new meanings constantly arise.

PAGE 10

What does it mean to treat a text as sacred?

Trusting that the more time we give to it, the more blessings it has to give us.

Reading the text repeatedly with concentrated attention. Our effort is part of what makes it sacred. The text is not in and of itself sacred, but is made so by rigorously engaging in the ritual of reading.

Experiencing it in community.

“To me, the goal of treating the text as sacred is that we learn to treat each other as sacred.” -Vanessa Zoltan

PAGE 11

Part 6: Tooth and Claw

In October 2017, Rowling liked a tweet linking to an article arguing that trans women should be kept out of women’s bathrooms because of cisgender women’s fears. In March 2018, she liked a tweet about the problem of misogyny in the UK Labour Party which included the line “Men in dresses get brosocialist solidarity I never had.” The author of the tweet had previously posted many blatantly anti-trans statements.

Rowlings publicist claimed she had liked the posted by accident in a “clumsy and middle-aged moment.” Yet, in September 2018 she liked a link posted by Janice Turner to her column in the Times UK titled “Trans Rapists Are A Danger In Women’s Jails.”

Screencaps of these tweets can be found in the article “The Mysterious Case of JK Rowling and her Transphobic Twitter History”, January 10 2019 by Gwendolyn Smith (a trans journalist), LGBTQNation.com

PAGE 12

Excerpt from: Is JK Rowling Transphobic? A Trans Woman Investigates by Katelyn Burns

Ultimately, the answer is yes, she is transphobic […] I think it’s fair that she receives criticism from trans people, especially given her advocacy on behalf of queer people in general, but also because she has a huge platform. Many people look up to her for creating a singular piece of popular culture that holds deep meaning for fans from different walks of life, and she has a responsibility to handle that platform wisely. (Published on them.us March 28, 2018)

PAGE 13

Part 7: Home

At age 30, I’m still not over Harry Potter.

Panel 1: I’ve recently found a local bar that does HP trivia nights. “Poppy or Pomona?” “Poppy!”

Panel 2: I currently own an annual pass to Universal Studios so I can visit Hogsmeade.

Panel 3: I love talking to kids who are reading the books for the first time. “Who’s your favorite character?” “Ginny!”

Panel 4: And I’m planning a relisten to the audio books to next year to help me get through the election cycle. “Jim Dale, I’m going to need you more than ever…”

Spoiler from 2023: I did not do this. By mid-2020 JKR had posted her transphobic essay; we were in covid; I never visited Universal Studios again.

PAGE 14

But I do want to learn from her mistakes. I never want to repeat “Magic in North America.” As I write, I will do my research. I will consult experts and compensate them. If a reader from a different culture/background than me speaks up about my work, I will listen and apologize. I KNOW I WILL MAKE MISTAKES. But I will own up to them and I will do better.

PAGE 15

Excerpt from Diversity Is Not Enough: Race, Power and Publishing by Daniel José Older

We can love a thing and still critique it. In fact, that’s the only way to really love a thing. Let’s be critical lovers and loving critics and open ourselves to the truth about where we are and where we’ve been. Instead of holding tight to the same old, failed patriarchies, let’s walk a new road, speak new languages. Today, let’s imagine a literature, a literary world, that carries this struggle for equity in its very essence, so that tomorrow it can cease to be necessary, and disappear. (Buzzfeed, April 14, 2017)

PAGE 16

Harry Potter is flawed, & JK Rowling is problematic. But the books helped me learn a lot:

*One of the greatest dangers facing the modern world is the rise of fascism

*The government cannot be trusted

*Read and think critically

*Question the news: who paid the journalist? Who owns the paper?

*Trust and support your friends through good times and bad

*Organize for resistance

*Educate and share resources with peers

*The revolution must be diverse and intersectional

* We are only as strong as we are united

*The weapon we have is love

MK 2019

PAGE 17

PART 8: EPILOGUE

In 2021 I removed a Harry Potter patch I sewed to my book bag over a decade ago. I took 15 pieces of Harry Potter fanart off my walls. I got rid of my paperback book set, 2 board games, and 8 t-shirt. [images: a Hogwarts a patch with loose threads, a pair of scissors and a seam ripper]

Panel 1: Maia holding up a shirt with the Deathly Hallows logo on it. Maia thinks: “Damn, this really used to be my entire personality.”

Panel 2: The t-shirt gets thrown into the Goodwill box.

PAGE 18

I wrote my zine wrestling with JKR’s legacy in 2019, after her dismissive and racist reaction to indigenous fans and critics of “Magic in North America” and after she had liked a couple transphobic tweets. Since then, she has gotten so much worse.

A Brief Timeline (mostly from this Vox article)

June 2020- JKR posts a 3600 word essay making her anti-trans position clear

August 2020- The Robert F Kennedy Human Rights Org issues a statement about her transphobia, JKR doubles down on her position and returns an award they gave her

December 2020- JKR claims 90% of HP fans secretly agree with her anti-trans views

December 2021- JKR mocks Scottish Police for recognizing transgender identities

March 2022- JKR criticizes gender-inclusive language and legislation

December 2022- JKR retweets trans youtuber Jessie Earl’s critical review of Hogwarts Legacy, starting an onslaught of transphobic harassment towards Earl

December 2022- JKR removes her support from an Edinburgh center for survivors of sexual violence with a trans-inclusive policy and funds her own center which explicitly excludes trans sexual assault survivors

January 2023- JKR tweets “Deeply amused by those telling me I’ve lost their admiration due to disrespect I show violent, duplicitous rapists.” It got nearly 300K likes

March 2023- One the podcast “The Witch Trials of JK Rowling”, hosted by a former Westboro Baptist Church Member, JKR compares the trans rights movement to Death Eaters.

PAGE 19

What are The Witch Trials of JK Rowling?

Panel 1: Maia speaking. “It’s a 7 episode documentary style podcast hosted by Megan Phelps-Roper. Nearly every episode contains interviews with JKR as well as critics, journalists, historians, protestors and fans.

Panel 2: Maia speaking. “In episode 1, JKR speaks more candidly than she has previously about being in an abusive marriage. Her ex-husband hit her, stalked her, broke into her house overlapping with the time she was writing the first three HP books.”

Panel 3: Maia speaking. “What she went through genuinely sounds horrific. I have a lot of sympathy for the kind of life-long traumas those experiences leave.”

PAGE 20

HOWEVER.

It is clear from reading the June 2020 essay on her blog and listening to the podcast, that JKR still to this day feels unsafe. Despite her wealth and privilege she moves through the world with the mindset of a victim. And the group of people she finds most threatening are trans women.

Or rather, she is afraid that allowing trans women in women’s spaces invites the possibility of male predators entering those spaces.

Here’s a direct quote: The problem is male violence. All a predator wants is access and to open the doors of changing rooms, rape centers, domestic violence centers [...] to any male who says “I’m a woman and I have a right to be here” will constitute a risk to women and girls. - from The Witch Trials episode 4 as transcribed by therowlinglibrary.com, March 2023

Image: A stem of Belladonna with flowers and berries.

PAGE 21

Let me introduce here the term: TRANSMISOGYNY. The intersection of transphobia and misogyny, this term was coined by Julia Serano in 2007. Scout Tran, on tiktok as Queersneverdie said: “Transmisogyny occurs in people who have been previously hurt by traditional misogyny. Who have been driven to hate men or at the very least to be scared of men. They will sometimes take out that rage on trans women. (March 2023)

JKR claims to care for trans women and understand they are extremely vulnerable to assault and violence. In her 2020 Essay she wrote: “I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe.”

So she cares about trans women… just less than cis women, and she’s willing to throw all trans women under the bus because of her unfounded, prejudice fears.

PAGE 22

Panel 1: Maia speaking. “JKR claims to have seen data that proves trans women have presented physical threats to other women in intimate spaces, but never cites sources. She also uses “producer of the large gametes” as a definition of “woman”.

What about transmen and nonbinary folks?

Panel 2: Maia leaning on a stack of all seven HP books, the first four Cormorant Strike books and The Casual Vacancy, gesturing to a series of quotes with a tired and disgusted expression.

I’m concerned about the huge explosion of young women wishing to transition and also about the increasing numbers who seem to be detransitioning. * [...] If I’d been born 30 years later, I too might have tried to transition. The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. -June 10 2020 essay

I don’t believe a 14 year old can truly understand what the loss of their fertility is.

-Witch Trials episode 4

I haven’t yet found a study that hasn’t found that the majority of young people experiencing gender dysphoria grow out of it*. -Witch Trials episode 7

*No sources cited

PAGE 23

It’s hard to over emphasize how fixated JKR has become on these topics. As of the date I’m writing this, 14 out of her 20 most recent tweets (70%) are in some way anti-trans. She tweets against Mermaids (a UK based trans youth charity), against trans athletes, against gender neutral bathrooms, and in support of LBG Alliance- a UK org that denies trans rights while upholding gay rights. Here are some gems from her archive:

“People who menstruate.” I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud? -June 2020

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. The Penised Individual Who Raped You Is a Woman. - December 2021

And in response to someone asking “How do you sleep at night knowing you lost a whole audience?”

I read my most recent royalty cheques and find the pain goes away pretty quickly. -October 2022

PAGE 24

Hashtag Ruthless Productions a queer nerd podcast company created a great guide on ethical engagement with HP. Image: the two hosts of Hashtag Ruthless productions, Jessie (They/she) and Lark (he/him).

Stop buying all official HP Products: books, movies, games, toys, etc, Universal Studios tickets, food, merch.* Boycott any new TV series or movies. Instead: buy the books and DVDs used. If you still want to wear HP merch, buy fan-made. Engage only with fan content: fic, podcasts, fanart, wizard rock, etc. Show transphobia is bad for business. None of this will change JKR’s mind. But the Fantastic Beast series was canceled and after record Pottermore sales in 2020, they fell in 2022 by 40%.

*She gets a portion of ALL tickets. In 2019, this was her largest income source. Read the full guide: hashtagruthless.com/resourceguide

PAGE 25

As late as 2019, I was still reading JKR’s murder mystery series. But by the fourth book my experience began to sour.

Panel 1: Maia holding a copy of Lethal White. “The only gay character in this book is a government official who gropes his staff?”

Panel 2: “The only genderqueer character is misgendered and portrayed as a whiny faker?”

Panel 3: “The only Muslim character is disowned by his family over gay rumors?”

Panel 4: “Even the women aren’t portrayed very well…”

Panel 5: “Why is the main female character defined by the rape in her past?”

Panel 6: “Wait, what happens in the rest of this series…?” Maia scrolls on eir phone.

Panel 7: “Is the series heading towards an employee/boss relationship?”

Panel 8: “And has a man wearing women’s clothes to commit assault?”

Panel 9: “Yeah, I’m done. I’m never reading a new JKR book ever again.”

PAGE 26

And as for JKR herself?

As tempting as it might be to tweet your frustrations at her, I don’t recommend it. In 2021, she tweeted, “Hundreds of trans activists have threatened to beat, rape, assassinate and bomb me.” Getting hate online feeds her sense of victimhood and she waves it as proof of her moral high ground. Instead I suggest you block her on twitter, then delete twitter, go to the library and try to find a new book that feels magical.

Stack of books: In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan, The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, Gifts by Ursula K Le Guin, Deep Wizardry by Diane Duane, A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik and Gideon the Ninth by Tamsin Muir.

PAGE 27

In “Emergent Strategy” adrienne maree brown writes: You do not have the right to traumatize abusive people, to attack them, personally or publicly, or to sabotage anyone else’s health. The behaviors of abuse are also survival-based, learned behaviors rooted in pain. If you can look through the lens of compassion, you will find hurt and trauma there. If you are the abused party, healing that hurt is not your responsibility and exacerbating that pain is not your justified right.

PAGE 28

Seeing anyone over age 12 wearing HP merch now makes me uncomfortable. Are they ignorant or actively a TERF? I hate wondering how much money JKR has probably poured into anti-trans legislation… This zine is a culmination of my slow breakup with a story that once brought me joy. Now it just makes me angry, tired and sad.

Image: Candle in a fancy holder burned down to less than an inch.

Maia Kobabe, 2023

#things harry potter tried to teach me #but they just bounced right off #and now i try to teach people the opposite #you belong here #however you got here and whatever shape you're in #the rest of us will to fix things so you can stay #eventually i hope

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ehh-is-the-name · 1 month ago

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Hello, just saw your post while searching tumblr about your exposure to seikon no qwaser and watching it 3 times while being presumably straight at this age

The question is - has it influenced you and if did in which way? I'm asking because it's the same for me?? Omg I thought I was a freak who watched it 3 times at the same age as you did 😭 such a relief that I'm not only one

Holys shit- I forgot about that thang.... Never expected to be put on the hot seat about it, but lemme break it down.

Has it influenced me?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Under the cut, got too much to say sorry.

Had to look back at the thing I posted about it, and yeah 10-12 was an age to watch that for sure. Those were the ages I was on the "I identify as an attack helicopter" side of the internet, you know, mid 2010s and such. So I was very much a "I'm 100% cis and straight" kinda kid. I didn't care about others being gay, I was just sure that I wasn't. At that point, I saw sex as a whole (whoever doing it to whoever) as the funniest shit in the world. Hence watching that anime so many times.

I still kinda see sex as funny, but I digress.

I kept it in my head that I was straight up until the pandemic hit. Something about a year of quarantining really kicks the self-analysis into high gear. Around that time the sexuality and gender crisis hit, you know like with everyone else. I somewhat remembered Seikon no Qwazer but I mostly thought of all the other bs like that I'd seen in the context of "...Am I gay?" To which I have to say, no not saphic surprisingly. Or at least I think not..? Hard to say.

The question when thinking about the anime girls in shows like that went from "Am I gay?" to "Do I want to be her?" to "...Um, what is a woman and what happens if I'm not one?"

I think I was more attracted to the designs and outfits of the characters rather than anything else going on. I remember clearly thinking "Would I wanna be in the MC's place?" when trying to solve the "Am I gay?" riddle, and it was always a half-hearted "no, not really". I didn't rewatch the anime to get a hard-on for the tits, that was the comedy to me--the over-exaggerated way he'd fuckin' suck them KILLED me when I was younger. I didn't understand how or why people would watch that stuff to get off, it just didn't make sense to me really. By the pandemic I got it, and realised how not getting it at all may have signalled I had the ace of spades, if you catch my drift.

Gender and sexuality were very rigid structures in my head when I was a kid (girls liked boys) and wanting to be a "good kid", I always said I liked boys. I didn't fully get that liking anyone was just a thing you felt and not actively thought about doing until.... honestly around after seikon no qwazer age- so around 13-14, maybe even 15. Either way, it didn't really pose an issue for me since I liked fictional boys, which is the same as liking real boys, for sure. yeah. (wrong). Learned that the hard way, the VERY hard way.

Getting exposed to physicality was... another questionable variable. Will not delve too much into that, but it's made me loop back around to the "Am I gay?" question a couple of times. And still getting stuck in "do I even really care?" limbo.

If anything, ecchi shit made me realise I wasn't fully allosexual or cis. Which of course came with its own line of questioning, of course. However my favourite realisation from seikon no qwazer specifically was: "Damn their fuckin' backs must HURT."

- - -

Sorry it wasn't a Straight -> Lesbian pipeline for me, if that's what you wanted guidance on- There's a lot of nuance to that too, but I was put on the Straight -> Asexual bus so I can't speak for the other. All I can do is give you the "can I really be ace if I think about sex positively? Frequently? Is there a threshold..?" kind of existential dread.

I was a freak then and still am now, only difference is now I'm a freaky ace~!

#ehh exaggerates #seikon no qwaser #a long forgotten soul (for good reason)#suggestive #I'm so fuckin' serious tho if you do not know what the hell I'm talking about #it's not worth looking up #i forgot that one of the characters was literally a loli- I am disgusted

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xxisxxisxxis · 5 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Nine

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Eight

Read here on wattpad

Word count: 4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, Drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

PMRC DEMANDS CENSORSHIP, DEVELOPES A LIST OF THE "FILTHY 15."

1. Prince, "Darling Nikki", flagged for sex/masturbation

2. Sheena Easton, "Sugar Walls", flagged for sex

3. Judas Priest, "Eat Me Alive", flagged for Sex/Violence

4. Vanity, "Strap On Robbie Baby", flagged for sex

5. Mötley Crüe, "Bastard", flagged for violence/language

6. AC/DC, "Let Me Put My Love Into You", flagged for sex

7. Twisted Sister, "We're Not Gonna Take It", flagged for violence

8. Madonna, "Dress You Up", flagged for sex

9. W.A.S.P., "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)", flagged for sex/language/violence

10. Def Leppard, "High 'n' Dry (Saturday Night)", flagged for drug/alcohol use

11. Mercyful Fate, "Into the Coven", flagged for occult themes

12. Black Sabbath, "Trashed", flagged for drug/alcohol use

13. Mary Jane Girls, "In My House", flagged for sex

14. Venom, "Possessed", flagged for occult themes

15. Cyndi Lauper, "She Bop", flagged for sex/masturbation

Tipper freaking Gore, the wife of the senator at the time, Al Gore, and bunch of other political housewives got their panties in a twist in 1985 and decided to demand artists either censor themselves when creating music, leaving no room for even the slightest hint at sex, drugs, alcohol, satanism, occultism, violence, language, or anything else almost every artist uses one of to express themselves in their music.

When musicians across the board practically told Tipper, the other wives, and everyone else that called themselves a member of the Parents Music Resource Center, to go fuck themselves, they decided to slap censorship stickers on records that contained any of the mentioned offenses.

Even John Denver got hit with censorship for his song "Rocky Mountain High."

It didn't shock me when my mother was photographed with Tipper after attending one of the hearings.

Mötley was invited to a hearing to defend their content and speak their opinions with a handful of others being censored, but they never batted an eye when the news first came out because they knew having an "X" or "XX" or "XXX" rating for violence, language, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. would only make kids buy the record more. And it did.

"It's bullshit." I state, tossing the news paper article aside.

"It's politics." Fred replies taking a bite of his bagel.

"These womens' sex lives must be atrocious or else they'd be spending more time on their husbands' dicks and less time on these people's." I motion to the article with the list on it.

"Babe--"

"If these polotical lunatics spent as much energy taking care of their own damn kids, as they're spending attempting to villainize artists who're expressing themselves, they would realize that it's not Mötley Crüe's or anyone else's job to raise their children. If you're so scared of your kids trying all this stuff, have a conversation with them about it and tell them about it, honestly, instead of relying on the music they listen to, to properly teach them about it. And at the end of the day, they're gonna buy the record whether their parents want them to or not, and they're going to try all kinds of stuff, no matter who talks to them about it, if they really want to try it." I continue my rant, Fred, Doc, Nikki, Vince, Tommy and Mick all looking at me, waiting for me to be done.

"Are you done, Sister Christian?" Vince asks me and I glare at him.

"Viv, it's publicity. Who gives a fuck?" Nikki asks me. "The kids are gonna go for the nastiest rated album anyway. The more 'X's the better."

"Yeah, but the audacity of--" Tommy's teaching his hand around my shoulder and covering my mouth before I can continue and I look at him where he's beside me.

"I've got a headache. I'm hungover, Viv. I love you, but I don't need to hear a Vivian Bitch Fit right now." Tommy explains to me.

I just look at him like he's lost his mind for shutting me up, and he cautiously moves his hand away.

I give him a ten second reprieve before shouting, at the top of my lungs:

"The audacity of these people pisses me off!" I finish what I was going to say and Tommy and Nikki are both jumping out of their seats a little at the sudden shouting, covering their ears, wincing, before Nikki's looking at me, sharply.

I roll my eyes at him and he grabs roughly at my thigh under the table, uncomfortably sinking the tips of his fingers into my flesh.

Ignoring him, I take a sip of my coffee, as he glances around and stands up.

"I gotta piss." He tells us, but I know why he's going to the bathroom.

I wait for him to disappear past the "Men's Room" sign in the Denny's before I get up and follow after him.

I walk in, catching the tail end of him snorting a line, and I cross my arms, waiting outside of the stall he's in.

I hear the familiar "click" of a needle being uncapped.

"Nikki. It's 10:00 in the morning." I tell him.

"Fuck off."

"Nikki."

"Fuck off."

"Nikk--"

"Fuck off."

"Make me."

I wait for him to come out of the stall and do what I dared him to, but I just hear the sound of him sighing out in relief as opiate hits his system, drowning out whatever argument we were about to get into.

When he didn't want to hear me complain or try to talk him out of stuff, he would run to his favorite room in his mind: his heroin den.

If we were at home, he'd lock himself in the closet, with me begging him to come out.

He'd open the door for me right before passing out so he could at least say he tried.

If we were in public or at a hotel, he'd lock himself in the bathroom and do the same thing.

The sound of vomit smattering the floor has me wincing as he mumbles "fuck it" and opens the stall door, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Don't fuckin' give me that hit dog look." He tells me, moving past me to the sink, splashing some water on his face, smearing his already smeared eyeliner that makes him look like a raccoon that's been digging around in a dumpster.

"I'm not giving you any kind of look." I mumble, forcing him to look at me as I wet a paper towel and wipe his black-coated eyelids clean.

The smell of his vomit infiltrates my nostrils and I throw the paper towel away before pulling at his wrist to leave.

Being that he's perfected his magical potion, he isn't too jittery from the coke or nodding off from the heroin.

He's just quiet.

We leave Denny's and head straight to the airport to head back home, being they wrapped up the last show of the U.S. tour last night.

Next is Europe.

Once we land in L.A., Christmas music blares through the speakers of the airport and reminds me that it's already nearing the end of December.

Apparently Vince is reading my mind because he mumbles, "apparently time flies when you're in hell."

Amen, Vince. A-fucking-men.

The second Nikki and I get into the limo to take us to our house, he's busting out a vile of blow that's nearly empty.

"Fuck, I gotta get Jason over, asap." He tells himself and I rub my lips together.

"You know, we haven't even bought a Christmas tree since we've been married." I tell him, trying to distract myself from his previous comment.

"Yeah." He says, basically blowing me off and I reach the toe of my sneaker out and nudge him on the kneecap as he gets the tip of our house key and scoops some from the bindle, snorting a bump.

"Babe." I continue to tap his kneecap until he's got his hand around my ankle, loosely, stopping me.

"What, Viv?"

"What did I just say?" I ask him, crossing my arms.

He just blinks at me, smirking a little.

"I'll gladly tell you when I finish this." He holds the bindle up.

I lean forward and take it from him, holding it hostage when he attempts to take it.

"You'll get it back when I get a Christmas tree." I tell him, raising my brows.

"Are you fucking me right now?" He asks, chuckling, not thinking I'm serious.

"No...but now that you mention it, I want that, too. Then you can get it back." I add and he smirks.

By the time we get to a department store, get my clothes back on and his pants zipped back up, grab an artificial tree, lights and ornaments, and finally get to the house, it's nearly one in the morning.

"Okay, Saint Vivian, gimme my shit back." Nikki states, carrying the boxed up tree while I carry the bags of lights and ornaments.

"Put the tree up so I can decorate it and I will." I reply.

"That wasn't apart of the deal." He argues, his tone still light.

"Well now it is." I reply.

"That's cheating."

"I made the deal. I make the rules." I shrug.

"You're making me work for something that's already mine." His free hand pulls at my waist, turning me to him and I grin mischievously as he shakes his head a little. "That's it, Sixx." He tells me before crouching enough to wrap his arm around my thighs and throw me over his shoulder.

I laugh manically, partially out of fear that he'll drop me, but also because this is the Nikki I fell in love with.

Playful, lighthearted, aggravating but meaning well, Nikki.

He manages to dig his house key out again and unlock the door before stepping in and turning on the lights in the foyer.

"Baby, put the bags down for now." He tells me and I drop them as carefully as I can while he puts the box the tree is in, down.

He's walking us to the living room, laughing when he pretends to trip and I gasp, digging my nails into him like a cat holding onto its owner to avoid a bathtub full of water.

When he flips the next light on, he stops immediately.

My mind is in shambles for a moment as I try to put together why so many people are in my house once Nikki's nearly dropping me out of shock, not even hearing them all scream out, "surprise!"

Steven and Tansy are at the forefront of people as the explosion of glitter, a mixture of neon and pastel decor, an abundance of various alcohol options, scantily clad women, a handful of Nikki's friends he hangs out with outside of Mötley Crüe, and a big ass, two-tier cake with every curse word known to man written in pristine is cursive font on the sides of it is soaked in by mine and Nikki's eyes.

Steven's wearing a beer hat, smiling widely, while Tansy looks like a sallow Barbie doll, but she's still forcing out a grin for the sake of us, and everyone's waiting for mine and Nikki's reactions.

Nikki and I exchange looks, confused as ever.

"Why is it a surprise?" I finally ask, deciding it's best if I ask instead of Nikki, because all he wanted to do was come in, shoot up, have a few lines, fuck around with me some more, and pass out.

But instead he's being forced to socialize in his own house.

His safe place has been infested.

Steven and Tansy seem horrified that we don't understand the reason for the apparent party.

"...Because it's your birthday?" Tansy reminds me.

"And Nikki's was a couple weeks ago, but he wasn't here to celebrate it." Steven adds, his smile is long gone, his eyes focused on Nikki who looks like he could kill someone right now.

"Oh, right!" I pretend that I know that it's my birthday today, and everyone seems to let out a breath of relief. "It's been a long day." I explain, stepping to the two blondes, hugging them both tightly. "Thank you so much."

While everyone else starts going on with the party, music starting to blare throughout the house on the stereo speakers, cracking open beer, whiskey, and vodka, as girls strip down to bikinis to go swimming, Nikki's still standing at the door, the look on his face is a mixture or pissed off, disappointed, and "I need another dose."

"Babe." I say gently to grab his attention, hazel eyes looking to me as a jaw tightens. "C'mon, just for a couple hours."

"I'll be right back." He tells me, shoving through people to get to our bedroom.

I brush off his attitude the second I feel hands on my shoulders, squeezing them a little and I snap around to meet Duff's chest.

"Hey, birthday girl." He greets me cooly, and I'm hugging him before I can stop myself.

Something wet falls on my hand when I pull away, and just as I'm about to look around for whatever it was, his fingers that are sticking out of leather gloves that just cover his palms, are brushing at my face.

"What's up?" He asks me, furrowing his brows a little.

What is up? Why the hell are you crying?

"I-I'm happy." Is all I can say, chuckling, wiping more tears.

He knew it was bullshit. I was happy, sure. Happy to get the fuck off the road. Happy to get a break from Nikki and Tommy harassing Vince. Happy to get away from Doc's constant pressing for more tour dates to milk as much money as possible. Happy to be able to hangout with balls of optimism and sunshine like Duff and Steven and have Slash show me his pet snakes like he'd been meaning to, and for Izzy to tell me what music I should have been listening to, and for Axl to go on and on about Tansy but then completely deny he was interested in her because he was too much of a dork to just ask her out.

"I'll be right back, alright?" I tell Duff, looking around to see Nikki's nowhere to be seen.

"Okay." He tells me, swigging from a bottle of vodka.

I thread through people who tell me "happy birthday" and I thank each of them, genuinely, before opening up the bedroom door, and shutting it behind me, stepping to our bathroom.

"Baby?" I ask, seeing Nikki standing at the mirror, teasing his hair some more. "I had no idea they would do this." I tell him.

"I had no fucking idea it was even your birthday, apparently." He grumbles. "Shows how much I care, right? Husband of the year. Something else to be hung over my head anytime we get into a fight."

"Hey, I didn't even know it was my birthday. The guys didn't either. You've all been busy and working hard and tired. I'm not going to hold this over you, Nikki." I assure him, fixing a piece of his hair for him.

I didn't realize his pride was so hurt by the gesture Steven and Tansy made.

I found out later it was Duff who brought up the idea to Tansy, who recruited the Ken to her Barbie: Steven, to help her orchestrate it.

That was another indication to Nikki that he needed to slow down, forgetting his own wife's birthday, but he didn't listen to it a bit.

"I really don't want to do this shit, Vivian." He tells me, rubbing his eyes.

"And I do?"

"They're your friends." He sighs.

"What's mine is your's." I say as I kiss his cheek and he groans.

"You owe me." He tells me as I step out of the bathroom. "Matter of fact, I want my coke back."

"Um, I can't hear you, babe. I'm sure I will when these people leave." I tell him.

"Viv--"

"I-I think you're breaking up, I'll talk to you later." I keep going, walking to the bedroom door.

"I'll break something up when these people get the fuck outta my house!" He calls back and I shut the door behind me.

The night goes on as people play beer pong on the dining room table, dance on whatever and whoever they can, snort lines off any flat surface available, and chug whatever is in their cups, drowning pain and becoming oblivious.

I hate to break it to Nikki, but I don't want these people driving in their condition, so they'll have to stay here tonight or call cabs.

After a few hours, people are either pairing off or grouping off to go get laid, passed out, or too high to function properly and are just chilling out.

Steven's observing his work, drinking from his beer cans perched in his hat when I approach him, looking for Duff.

"Have you seen Duff?" I say over the music and he nods.

"Yeah, I think he's by the pool." He tells me.

"The pool?"

"Yep."

I furrow my brows, stepping to the French doors leading outside, seeing Duff and Tansy sitting down on the pool deck, talking

"Is he pissed?" She asks me, referring to Nikki, after I sit next to her.

"I would say go see for yourself but I don't want to toss you into the lion's den." I admit. "He hasn't come out all night."

"I'll go talk to him." She says. "If he's mean to me I'll just cry and make him feel bad like I do to Vince."

Duff and I exchange looks at her confident words before she's walking away in her neon pink bikini.

"Everyone calming down?" Duff asks in a slur, and I nod, glancing through the doors to look at the guests for a few seconds. "How does it feel to be twenty-two?" He adds, rubbing his nose and I raise my brows a little, glancing at the bottle of vodka he's been working on all night.

"It's weird." I mumble. "I was a senior in high school five years ago." The reality hits me and he raises his brows. "God, I'm old."

"You were seventeen your senior year?"

"In pre-k my teacher decided I was too smart for the class and vouched for me to be moved up to kindergarten, and it didn't take my kindergarten teacher long to convince the principle of the elementary school to let me start in the first grade since they hadn't really started in on their curriculum for the year." I explain.

"I couldn't even meet the basic requirements of alternative school." He tells me.

"You're a freaking genius, you just didn't apply yourself." I tell him and he shrugs.

"I had more important things to get done.

"I guess you did." I agree, gently scoring the bottle of alcohol away from him.

"I know you're tired of me saying this, but, Viv, you gotta get back to dancing."

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Yeah. I mean, imagine me giving up music for someone I'm in a relationship with so I can hold their hand or fucking babysit them or whatever. I mean, sure it shows I love them a lot, but it would just make who ever I was with look like a fucking bitch. And I've talked to Nikki before and he told me he didn't want you to quit dance and he wanted you to go to school." He explains. "Why didn't you?"

"I had more important things to get done." I repeat him.

"I don't know if you're selfless sometimes, or just not thinking." He says, before his face suddenly falls. "I sound like an asshole right now, I'm sorry." He apologizes and I shake my head.

"I'm not upset, I know what you mean." I assure him.

"Okay." He rubs his eyes again like a sleepy child.

"Do you need me to help you to bed?" I offer and he waves his hand at me a couple times.

"No, no, I got it." He assures me, standing up.

He nearly falls over.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." I comment, helping him inside as he apologizes.

"I'm sorry I'm being out of hand right now, Viv, I don't get like this every night." He tells me as I open our guest bedroom and thank God nobody's in here, although it's obvious someone has been screwed to oblivion on the bed.

I just throw the blanket on the edge of the bed over the mattress and help him lay down.

"Thank you." He says as I pull his boots off and set them nice and neat on the floor at the foot of his bed.

"You're welcome." I reply, setting the garbage can beside him incase he needs it. "Goodnight."

I'm about to leave, but his hand gently grasps at my hand, stopping me.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I'm really glad we met and we're friends, Viv." He tells me, grasping my hand in his like I'm going to walk out anyway and not listen to what he's got to say.

"I am, too, Duff." I say back, smiling a little. "Sleep tight, okay?"

"Yeah." He nods his head.

"Alright, goodnight."

I go to kiss him "goodnight" on the cheek, but my entire system and body locks up the second he misreads my intentions, and kisses me.

This sounds so counteractive to who I am now and what I stand for currently, and it was ignorant of me to think such a way back then, when so many people close to me were heavily affected, some of them even dying, by drugs and alcohol...but I use to wish I liked alcohol or drugs, or even felt drawn to them.

By '87 I'd had several miscarriages, my marriage was hanging by a thread after only being married for four years, I was having an identity crisis and my entire world was seeming to fall apart and it became routine to buy a bottle of vodka or whiskey, or pills, or blow and just stare at it--trying to convince myself to go for it--for an hour before pouring it out or flushing it.

The people around me, which by that point was mainly Duff and his band, started to pick up on this struggle I had. And although they knew I had to be in some kind of extreme pain to be considering reaching such lows, they carried an "if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry" method of pulling me out of such spells.

Anytime we would be hanging out and I'd opt to try something they were doing, they would call it the "Golden Question Game" because the "Golden Question" was always "is Vivian actually gonna do it this time?" and they wouldn't argue with me about it or try to stop me because they knew the answer would always be "no" even if I didn't think it would be.

I even made the reckless suggestion to try heroin, and got as far as Izzy getting it in the syringe for me, trying to explain to me how to shoot it, how to angle it, how to know I'd hit a vein, with Steven, Slash and Duff all waiting to see if I was that desperate for an escape.

Like everything else I would think about doing, I just sat on the floor next to Izzy and stared at the golden liquid in the syringe and thought, "who the fuck are you to get pissed and angry at Nikki and Tansy for their addiction to this shit, and how it's destroying them, and then turn around and do it yourself?"

I shot it into the air away from me, handed the empty syringe back Izzy, thanked him for letting me waste his time and dose of smack, went to the bathroom with Duff at my heels, and cried.

I never went through with any of it because I knew I would never, ever, come back from it.

I would've drank myself to death or drugged myself past the point of no return and would have ended up a statistic.

I just needed a new escape because my original high became a heroin addict, and December 23, 1985, had me realizing more about Duff than what I had noticed before: Vodka was a hell of a lot easier to be around than heroin.

#nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee #mötley crüe #the dirt #gateway drug

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