#he'd be confused as hell

[mightyfoz]

oh hey uh, this guy's design is cool i like him... i wish to squeeze him like a stress toy. capitalist oogie boogie <3

[maximura]

[wander-over-the-words]

for that ask game: 🏳️‍🌈 for nick valentine and benny :3

send me a 🏳️‍🌈 and a character name and ill share my gender/sexuality headcanon for them Nick:

Nick is asexual!! He has zero interest in that area. Does not want any. Incorrect buzzer noise. It was one of his (MANY) concerns when it came to getting with Nate, but fortunately for him Nate is ace too so he just "Nick you have no idea how okay that is like seriously"

He himself does not know what he Likes romantically. He's always liked ladies, but y'know. Nate's a man. He's the first man Nick's looked twice at. So Nick doesn't know if Nate has Awakened Something in him or if Nate is just an Exception for some reason. Doesn't rly matter to him either way, and he doesn't rly care to think on it cause he's with Nate for the long run so. who cares y'know c:

Nick identified as a man at first cause the Old Nick did. I imagine one of the first things he did when trying to separate his identity from the Old Nick's was taking a moment to think on it, but he was content to still identify as a man, so. nothing new there. He was built without gender in mind like any other pre-Gen 3 synth so. he's genderless but identifies as a man. He's a man. A metal man.

Benny:

SOMEBODY CALL UP THE FOUR SEASONS CAUSE THIS IS A BI BI BABY. Tragedy: game where you can canonically be bi can't see when it has a Massive Bisexual as one of its main characters smh. He has a preference for ladies, but he is a BI MAN. I've said it before, I'll say it again: the reason the male courier can't fuck him is that he didn't feel like having gay sex that day. Had gay sex yesterday. Ask him tomorrow, see how he feels.

Benny is the most Cisgendered Man I have ever seen. I 10000000% respect anybody who sees him as trans or nb, but personally. He Is the Most Cisgendered Man I Have Ever Seen. To the point that I've always headcanoned him as. hilariously ignorant to stuff like gender.

Not prejudiced in the slightest and like. he knows who/what trans people are. he's met and slept with trans people. He just doesn't know the Ins and Outs of it. Like he's asked Ethan how come he has a moustache and where his charlies went. Has a "you can do that???" response. stuff just blows his mind in a good way. his baby's a badass cause he got his charlies cut off by a Mr. Handy INTENTIONALLY. he PAID for it. he stabs himself with a NEEDLE on a REGULAR BASIS just so he can have a MOUSTACHE AND DEEPER VOICE AND STUFF. you WISH your baby was that badass.

He's accidentally said insensitive things, like asking Ethan what his "girl name" was or wording it "used to be a broad" (I know some trans people are cool with that but Ethan is not). but to his credit he genuinely doesn't mean any harm. he's an asshole but not that much of an asshole. just uneducated (and a little stupid). He's learning. he doesn't understand what dysphoria is but he'd physically fight someone for causing Ethan to have a dysphoric episode. someone says Ethan "throws like a girl" and Benny's sitting there like >:O!!! even tho Ethan doesn't find that offensive in the slightest (hell, he'll agree with it). Ethan shows him a childhood pic and Benny just "baby that's not you?? that's a girl." and Ethan just Stares until Benny has his "oh. right." moment. any involvement Benny has with the topic of trans makes Ethan look at the camera like "he's a little confused but he's got the spirit."

He'll shoot ya in the head but Goddamn will he respect your pronouns and gender identity.

(for added hilarity: Benny's the only Chairman who's Like That.

Swank vc: get woke Benny.)

[bloodbathfortwo]

Alex Forbes will never forget how much he yearned to hold Nigel Colbie on their wedding night. He wanted to taste his skin, temptation thumping in his veins, his hands were itching to pin him down, see his whole weight pressure the life off of Nigel's wrists, wanting to see the lines he'd leave on his skin, the way his parched throat is seeking his heavenly waters: He felt like a lecherous teenage boy. But for all he knows, he cannot wait to be one with his beloved Maraclea.

[abzania]

What boggles me about this situation is how Somerton doesn't seem to have one single original opinion about issues he SHOULD be concerned about. I'm a queer woman, and queer issues are always at the forefront of my mind. I have had many, many discussions and done a ton of research meerly through personal interest. Not for papers, or videos, or ANYTHING. Just because it's important to me to be educated. I want to understand the nuances of our history and the privileges afforded to me BECAUSE of that history.

How do you go about life, "write" HOURS LONG essays, and not have ONE OPINION about your subject matter. He literally reads from WIKIPEDIA articles when he needs filler on what he wants us to think are his original thoughts. He rips sections out of books like they're his own words. There is not an original idea to his name. I just don't understand how that can happen.

I understand what he did. I just can't fathom not being an individual with opinions. How were are his only actual opinions about misogyny, lesphobia, and transphobia? How does that even happen?

[yeonban]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBIAS! (24.05)

@effigist asked: / Tobias bday festivities ! this got long . my bad bestie

ash lingers in dark shadows cast down from the buildings surrounding the big celebration’s location , vigilantly observing from outside rather than daring to step in . he heard about tobias’ birthday a few days prior from some of his blabbermouth men who had timidly asked their leader if they could attend the big party dedicated to no other than the sharpest thorn in ash’s side . he responded with a dismissive scowl , grumbling something like do whatever the hell you want , while doing his best to seem as disinterested as possible . last thing he wanted was for the men to think he would be attending that hellish celebration - god , no , he’d rather get himself thrown in the slammer just to avoid it . in great contrast to his apparent dislike for the celebration , he nonetheless loitered outside for a good hour after showing up towards the end of the celebration , remaining out of sight until groups of people filed out from the doors &. ash concluded it was finally coming to its rightful end . about time . only when the detested birthday boy enters his line of sight , does the lurking predator step out from the shadows . though , instead of attacking or otherwise antagonizing tobias , he merely walks with an air of leisure &. casualty a teenaged gang leader had absolutely no business maintaining , before stopping at the dark haired teen’s side .

❝ you tired of gettin’ pampered like a snobby princess , yet ? ❞ a playful smirk tugs at the blonde’s lips , implying he must be in a decent mood . gingerly , his arm lifts &. stretches over tobias’ shoulder , although no contact is made . he merely keeps his limb hovering just above the point of contact , but close enough to where any bystander from a distance would be fooled . swiftly , ash’s nimble fingers drop a little plastic card into the other’s chest pocket . It’s a library card . ash is more than aware that the man could easily access any book of his choosing with his status , connections , money , &. influence , but he paid it no mind . once the sneaky exchange is completed , his arm lowers , but not before giving a slightly - too - hard - to - be - considered - a - pat smack into the back of tobias’ shoulder . ❝ better be careful around my guys until the clock strikes midnight , cinderella . they’ll give a loser like you a beatin’ for every year you’ve been alive . ❞ they won’t .

The birthday boy is one of the last to exit the building, animatedly chatting up the few who have chosen to continue their conversations with him even after the party has ended, and it's only when they're stepping down the outer stairs and the teen can feel a distant gaze intently focused on him that he steadily shepherds the guests towards the end of the conversation, shaking their hands and waving them goodbye before glancing in the direction of the gaze. Whatever he may have expected it to be caused by --- an ambush on his birthday or an informant returning to report their findings; the sight of Ash Lynx willingly approaching him had certainly not been it.

Tobias' expression doesn't change much, yet the surprise is apparent enough if one knows where to look for it. It hides in the sudden blink and the lingering stare as the blond threads closer, it crawls in the unspoken but palpable question of what's going on and in the quick yet subdued glance behind Ash as if to check whether the blond has either been coerced into it or sought him out with an urgent purpose in mind. Grey eyes return to look into the jade pair and yet none of these possibilities seem to have quite hit the mark. Ash's smirk isn't gloomily sarcastic nor does his body language speak of anxieties or woes, and there is nothing whatsoever to indicate that he's come here in a hurry. If anything, he appears to have either been on a stroll to this location, or been hiding nearby for a while.

Tentatively testing the waters, Tobias' lips curl into a matching grin, carefully watching each of the gang leader's movements. ❛ Ash? You could've told me you were dropping by, you know. I'd have ditched the others way earlier if I'd known you're around. ❜ The subsequent close proximity is as shocking as the other's presence near the celebration's location and Tobias almost opts to jokingly remark on it when the corners of his eyes catch a glimpse of a thin card delicately sliding into his chest pocket. Hm...? ❛ What, you got me a gift, too? ❜ This may have counted as a teasing comment had the exchange taken place on another day and for the first few seconds Tobias even means it as such, but with Ash's jesting and the deliberate secrecy surrounding the gift-giving, as if this display of cordiality has the potential to be ruinous to the blond's image, Tobias can't help but reach into his pocket and bring the alleged present into his field of vision. A gift? Really?

He doesn't bother inquiring from where Ash has learned of his birthday, he'd expected as much with anyone worth their damn being able to find out about it one way or the other, but the sequence of events following that has barely been considered a priori, imagined as unlikely from the get go and thus unworthy of being thought about; yet it appears his calculations have, shockingly enough, been slightly off the mark. He'd figured Ash would accept hanging out with him if he approached the blond after the fussy festivities were wrapped up (if begrudgingly so), but had he misjudged how challenging it would be for them to reach this point of vague friendship, back during their first few meetings? Or had Ash just coincidentally felt generous on this occasion?

The library card that graces his eyes once he fishes the present out of his pocket might seem as nothing much to most in his position, but Tobias grows troublingly quiet at the sight, the grin on his face slowly dissipating into a thin line; neither annoyed, nor upset --- but rather, cognizant. Under normal circumstances it would take nothing more than a name and an address for such a plastic card to be issued, and it could very well pass as a friendly insult, jokingly implying the receiver should open a book for once, but in their situation it's a calculated effort, and quite an effort he's sure it has been. False identities such as his own come bearing little documentation, or if there is any available it certainly wouldn't be at everyone's discretion, so the existence of a library card with Tobias' name on it hints at a far grander and more complicated process than the regular person would give it credit for, and it seems the blond has deemed him worth the trouble, despite the older teen having indirectly offered Ash a way out of the mandatory gift-giving by not inviting him to the celebration.

Yet perhaps even more baffling still is another minor detail, something so subtle that it would have passed entirely unnoticed had it been anyone but Tobias attempting to grasp its meaning, or had he not been as attentive to Ash's lifestyle and habits as he chose to be. A detail he is more than certain represents a major step in their relationship, and one which signifies a degree of trust (whether conscious or subconscious) that he hasn't been expecting to receive for at least another year of incessantly bothering the blond. Being offered access to Ash's last safe haven, by the gang leader himself.

The silence continues while Tobias stares at the gift in muted incredulity, unsure of how exactly to react to any of the rapid fire surprises this simple choice of presents has flooded him with. Is it a code for something? No, Ash seems to be having a good day, there is probably no reason for him to ask Tobias to meet him at the library for a secret conversation. If so, is he going to request or demand something? No, also unlikely given the ease with which Tobias already offers him everything. There'd be no point in going the extra mile for something he could receive for free while doing nothing.

Is Ash really just reaching out to him of his own volition? That almost seems more doubtful than the previous possibilities, but unless the younger teen is a greater actor than all of the ones Tobias has met... he doesn't seem to be the sort to harbor ulterior motives or take advantage of others without first being given a reason to; and the orphan would like to think he hasn't done anything egregious enough to the gang leader or his men to warrant that. Ash's honesty is one of the traits he values about the other, after all (quite the rarity in their field of work, for better or worse) and what a shame it would be for him to senselessly lose the privilege of knowing for a fact that Ash's words and behaviors are always connected to the definitive truth.

Although there is an ongoing dispute in his mind, Ash's remark doesn't pass by unnoticed; bringing a familiar tint of amusement in the otherwise uncertain state of affairs. Paired with the quizzical gift in hand, it brings the smirk back onto Tobias' face, if a tad more hesitant than it had been before, and it prompts him to turn to look at the other again. How should he react now? Where do they stand, if not where he'd thought they did? Should he wait and see, or should he outright ask? ❛ ......Then, prince charming, how about you act as my bodyguard 'til I'm safe from harm and ready to depart? Midnight is still a long way off, but surely your macho men won't think to lift a finger on someone as frail as me with you around to keep them at bay, ❜ Perhaps slowly prodding is the way to go, if he's learned anything from Ash's lethal allergies to appearing vulnerable. He'll always have the time to ask later, if the moment is ever opportune enough, and maybe there won't even be a need for that after observing Ash's behavior for a while longer.

Lifting his free arm, Tobias leisurely brings it 'round the lynx's shoulders as the other had done to him prior, except he lets his arm come into contact with Ash's shoulders while slowly poking him with the library card present in the other hand. It's a blithe touch, one blatantly meant for gauging where he stands with the other rather than an attempt at rudely breaking into his personal space, and one he had been very careful not to engage in prior to this day despite physical contact being the brunette's go-to when interacting with practically everyone else.

However... with all of the surprises already sent his way, and particularly so with the confounding (albeit indirect) openness Ash has showed him today, it might as well be the best moment to check what boundaries he's currently kept at, and figure things out from there. Will he be shrugged or pushed off as he'd previously figured it'd happen, or will Ash allow him this sort of friendly touch, and surprise him for a fourth time? ❛ And while you're at it, how about you show me to the library, too? I could use some new book recommendations. Who knows, maybe you'll even find that I'm a pretty good reading buddy to have. ❜ The request can easily pass as a debonair way of bringing Ash along for the ride, but with the lengths Tobias has gone to not encroach into the library for as long as it had been Ash's turf, the assistance with maneuvering inside the humongous building might actually be helpful.

[beastsovrevelation]

I recently found out people ship Cassandra with Apollo.

My initial reaction was...

Just tan their hides. You know what happened to her because the the bastard, don't you?..

Then, I was overwhelmed by morbid curiosity, and checked AO3. People are writing rape fics about them. ...Why?..

Could I ever see Cassandra x Apollo?.. I don't know, maybe. But, definitely not the nonsense I mentioned. Dubcon at most. I guess, he might somehow coerce her into sleeping with him, and later rescue her from the fall of Troy, because she's pregnant with his child, or something (Zeus would be pissed, I'm fine with that).

Sounds like an intriguing story, with a lot of morally questionable elements. I can imagine Apollo confiding in Artemis, wondering why his wife is so upset. She'd just go "are you serious rn?.. -_-".

...What, you're surprised I'm among those I wish to hide with a broom? Don't be. It happens quite often, actually.

[lover-of-skellies]

Error when I give him some chocolate and disappear

[kaeyapilled]

what do you think about the kaeya = caribert theory? i saw some people use it as an 'explanation why his skin is dark' like. oh he used to be a Monster and the skin is a remnant of it :) and it pissed me off so bad. i need to know what other people think about it

its honestly not a theory im super fond of i think its a little stupid no offense. i dont think it makes a lot of sense? to go super in depth i'd have to take another look at the caribert quest (and maybe read up on the khaenri'ah lore we have so far again) but i kinda feel like it establishes pretty firmly that kaeya couldnt be caribert. descended from that branch of the family maybe (though im more fond of the theory that kaeya is descended from the branch of alberichs that were actually being regents, something that chlothar wasnt involved in because he distanced himself from the rest of the family to look after his son) (makes sense that kaeya would know more about the alberichs being the regents in khaenri'ah than he knows about an alberich being the founder of the abyss order) (theres a post about it i reblogged it some time ago and it hasn't left my mind since) but like.. him actively being caribert? sounds.. honestly really dumb to me.. don't ask me how kaeya isnt (or at least doesn't seem to be) affected by any curse, be it monsterification or immortality, but i just feel like that isnt the explanation. the actual explanation could be related to the events in caribert though.. cant wait for them to tell us what it actually is lol. on the off chance that this fucking theory is true then ill just bite my tongue i guess but i know im right. ok now moving on to the elephant in the room. what kind of take even is thatttttt "thats why his skin is dark"what is bro talking about🔥🔥‼️ if i read that with my own two eyes id block a person SO fast. why would you say that and treat it as serious evidence and backing for your theory. thats just. racism basically. what. anyways kaeya whos half from sumeru supremacy

[dinoidiot]

Sure I know Q is like almost omniscient and would definitely understand our "primitive human traditions", but I love those scenarios where he doesn't really get it at all nd tries to go over the top but misses the point entirely like

Imagine he wants to give Picard a valentine's day gift and he's like humans always give each other heart shaped chocolate but of course I can do something much better than that and then he just makes a 100% anatomically accurate chocolate heart model which is... terrifying

[irithnova]

Remember when on r/mongolia they were axe-shitposting and it became a long running inside joke on the sub?

It all started when u/zonda_r2 uploaded a post titled "law regarding manslaughter". When it was originally posted, there were quite a lot of comments. Mods eventually took a lot of the comments down. Some were genuinely trying to give legal advice and others were saying that he was trolling. Zondas further comments proved that he was in fact, trolling. And so the longest inside joke on r/Mongolia was born.

And this image here:

Is the most popular post on the entire sub. So yeah though you guys would find that funny because I sure as hell did when it was happening 😭

[hearties-circus]

I find it so weird when people are insistent that soldier would be queerphobic like. Why. This is tf2 you actually think this is historically accurate?

[cryptidofthekeys]

me, vibing and just thinking of my fave silly lil fictional men:

also me not even a beat later: What if you gave CC the lucid nightmare you had

[miaou-ml]

Just curious: Is your SCP-3167 LGBTQ+? If so, what does he identify as?

Disclaimer: I am NOT the author of this SCP, so please don't take this as canonical information

But he IDs as Gendervoid, and uses any pronouns!

[bcneheaded]

"Hush, now. I've got you." (oh how the turn tables, old skellybones ;P)

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 “𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮” 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 (with @winterfollows !)

Long, bony fingers are plucked with the utmost care from within their blood-soaked gloves-- once a pristine white-- the material catching stubbornly. Coat long since discarded, the sleeves no doubt ruined-- he stands rather despondently by the guest-room's bathroom sink, Haleir at his side. Determined for some reason or another to help in ridding him of the ghastly crimson that spattered most of his arms and upper body. A creature. A mindless abomination roamed the streets, causing chaos among the area and striking fear into its inhabitants. It could not be allowed to live and infect the city. So he killed it. It was.. perhaps a tad more difficult than he'd anticipated, and as such, he may have gotten a little frustrated by it. But in all fairness... in all his time, he had never encountered one of these. He did not know they exploded upon death. He does now. Had he the key components of doing so, surely he'd have retched when the half-digested blood of the creature's victims sprung from it's swollen belly and spattered his attire. Hot and rancid in feel, even upon his tar. And now he was here. Had it been that the other had already been at the shop, wondering where Artemis had been-- only to be shocked at the sight of the poor, reeking sap walking through the door? Perhaps so. But now... He takes Artemis' bare hand in his and sponges clean the stickiness from the bones and tar as gently as one would for a Living. And for a long moment as he stares down at their hands, he finds himself... confused. Why was he so gentle with a creature such as he? Yellow eyes languidly wander up to meet Hal's gaze in the mirror before glancing back down at the mess upon his button-up shirt; red and black alike soaked through the material. Audibly, he tuts; silently admonishing himself for ruining so much of his tailor's fine work. And when Hal looks at him, for the first time in.. perhaps a little too long, he speaks again. "Truly," he tries one more time, not nearly as convincing as he'd been the first couple tries. "you needn't... I can clean myself." A long pause, and he sighs quietly, eyes falling back to Hal's hands, pale as porcelain compared to his own. "You'll... dirty yourself with tar--" he tries, pushing once more, voice barely but a croak. "It's... difficult to wash off."

[considerad]

shaved my legs so I'm a different person now