#he’s young looking but I like to think young Haymitch did look like a boy bc his mom let him be a boy still

[katnissandpeetamellark]

What about Walker Scobell as young Haymitch

He’s 16 right now, has a boyish face (how I imagine younger Haymitch), I’m sure they could darken his hair if they go book haymitch or lighten it if they go movie Haymitch. Idk what do you think.

Or counter me with a different fancast I’m open minded!

[littlemarianah]

Willow is the older sister and often sees things her brother doesn't.

Rye asks uncomfortable questions, which they parents seem to hesitate to answer. He always asks for help with his homework and doesn't seem to understand why when it comes to the history of Panem his father's face seems to darken. In fact, he doesn't even notice his father's voice crack as he reads the text in the book. But Peeta never refuses to help.

The subject of War always leads to The Games. Either its beginning or its end. And the games always lead to star-crossed lovers and the arrow that felled an entire arena. And worst of all, this goes back to the bombs that rained on the capital. But Rye never seems to connect this to the scars marked on his parents' bodies.

"Don't worry, Daddy. I'll help him." she says, sitting next to her brother at study time.

"Well, I can..." Peeta tries to say.

"No, you can leave it to me. You know, I was in fourth grade just two years ago so it's all still fresh in my head."

The boy tries to protest, but his older sister's incisive look made him shrink in his seat. She can be persuasive when she wants to.

When the two are finally alone in the kitchen, with their books spread out on the table, Willow whispers to Rye. "Stop asking Dad for help about this, okay?"

"this what?"

"story of Panem."

"Why?” The boy asks innocently and the girl snorts angrily.

No, she never asked for help with these things. The history book seemed to bother her mother so much that she didn't even take it out of her backpack. She heard Peeta and Katniss whispering through the walls, tense and tearful. Willow preferred to keep everything to herself. The doubts and questions, most of them were already answered anyway. With her mother's howls in the middle of the night, with her father's nervous attacks.

Willow opens the story book, leafs through it until she finds a picture. A girl. Impenetrable gaze, braid hanging down her neck, a bow in her hands. She looks at her brother, hoping that will make him understand.

"What?" he shrugs

"It's mama, silly."

"Mama?" The boy leans over the book and looks carefully. It doesn't look like his mother, It doesn't have her kind eyes, nor her sweet smile, and there are no scars whatsoever. The way he always recognized his mother, the funny designs on her skin, marks. But he recognizes one thing , the gray eyes that he sees in the mirror. "oh, it's mama."

"Of course it is, what are you doing in your story class?"

He shrugs again but the answer is sleeping.

"They don't like to talk about it." the girl says. "If you have any questions, ask me."

"Is it about The Hunger Games?" he now whispers, because even though he is a little naive, he can feel the weight of those words.

"Rye, try to understand something." she says, using her big sister tone. "Everything is about The Hunger Games."

Rye seems to understand. Because sometimes at night, he wakes up from a cruel nightmare and runs to his mother's bed. Next summer he turns 11 and the older kids at school keep saying that's the age they take you. And he knows his parents went, and so did Uncle Haymitch.

Their mom enters the kitchen and the photo of her young is covered by Willow with a heavy math book. But Katniss has eagle eyes and the Willows know that. "What is it?" Katniss asks.

"Homework." Willow say.

Katniss takes the history book from the table and admires her photo with an indecipherable expression. "And why were you hiding it?"

The girl doesn't know how to respond.

"Willow said not to bother you with it." the boy says.

Damn mama's boy, Willow thinks to herself. Her face burns red. "That's not what I said!" Willow directs her gaze to Karniss, her mother's bright eyes making her shiver. "I just... It's just fourth-grade nonsense. So I can help... He doesn't need to... talk to you about it. I already know everything. It's just... I did not want.."

Katniss leaves the history book on the table, leans over Willow and gives her a small kiss on the forehead. The girl is silent. "The two of you are going to put on your boots and we're going to go for a walk." Katniss says.

The boy is happy to be taken away from his homework early, but Willow seems apprehensive. On that rainy spring afternoon they cross the muddy road, past the wreckage of abandoned buildings and go to the meadow. The flowerbed, normally green, is gray today, due to the rain and fog. Katniss sits with them on a fallen log. And it begins.

First she tells them about a miner. With a beautiful voice and a huge heart. A great father and a great husband. Tell them how he was buried alive. And even though they both already knew this story this time it seems more detailed and harder to hear. Then Katniss tells them about a boy with a loaf of bread and a hungry girl, tells them about a streak of bad luck, tells them about an arena of blood, tells them about poisoned berries.

Rye is wide-eyed, clutching his mother's arms.

Katniss tells them about a revolution, about a war, about a mockingjay. Then about the bodies in the meadow, about his grandparents and his uncles who were gone, about their late Aunt Prim. And this is another one of the stories that they knew very well, but to be told like this without whispered words, without secrets, without anything beyond reality. It's new. Willow then also snuggles into her mother's arms, a bit tearful. Listening to Katniss tell about a girl with black hair and blue eyes and a boy with blond hair and gray eyes.

Then they go home, humming an old song.

If you want more content about toast babies Read my fanfic about them - Deep in the Meadow

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 7)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

“What’d you think? Should we climb it?” Tyson asks his district partner, teasingly.

She is two years his junior, still not an idiot. The giant pile of sand funneling in from the top of the arena is no hiking expedition. “No, we should save our strength, like Haymitch said.”

“Did you know the tallest mountain in the world was called Mount Everest? Before the founding of our great nation?” He presses on, largely ignoring Y/N’s sage advice.

“What do they call it now?” She wonders.

“Trick question; tallest mountain in the world was actually Mauna Kea.”

“Now’s a bad time for trivia.” Y/N decides, a hand at her brow to shield the blazing sun.

“It’s the only time we’ve got.”

Y/N startles awake, as she always does from dreams of him. Dreams of a stranger, who in under two weeks became her best friend. The games are funny that way, time moves differently there. People who standby you in the arena become closer than people you’ve known for years. The ones that haunt you forever.

She thinks of him often. Though Y/N never had a brother, she decided a long time ago, that is where Tyson fit. How he taunted and teased her, protected and loved her, all at the same time. And when she named her son Everest, sealing the tiniest drop of Tyson in her blood, Y/N found some peace with it. Giving new life to the boy who died so that she might live.

When she hears Peeta recounting the day he fell in love with Katniss, her heart sinks. The gamemakers won’t let them both win. They can’t. President Snow simply won’t allow it. And if what they’re saying now is true, even if one of them survives…

“There’s backstory,” Haymitch muses.

Maybe he believes Seneca would do it, two victors. Or maybe he just wants her to believe that he believes. One thing about Haymitch is that he will lie, either straight up or simply omit key details to shield Y/N. Protect her at any cost, as if she were some fragile thing.

She used to hate it, until she understood. Not fragile; precious. Something more valuable than money, or secrets, even booze. If anything happened to Y/N, his world would simply stop turning. The sun would set and never rise. She is a precious commodity of extremely limited supply. She could never be replaced.

“You need medicine for that leg.” Katniss changes the topic of conversation.

“I don’t get many parachutes.” Peeta admits, though he doesn’t tell her why.

“We’ll figure something out.”

“Like what?”

“Something.” Katniss huffs, into the dimly lit cave.

“I think that was the green light on the meds for Peeta.” It’s go time. Haymitch rises from the bench, offering his hand.

This particular offering will not come cheap, it’s time for the original lovers of district twelve to do what they do best. Work an angle.

————————————————————————

“What do you mean we can’t send medicine? We’ve always been able to send medicine.”

“Not my rules, Mrs. Abernathy.” The woman behind the counter says.

“Of course not, you just work here.” Haymitch smiles.

The Capitol employee returns the gesture.

“We’ve been raising this money all day and Y/N is obviously upset that we can’t go through with sending the medicine, but we understand. Is there any information you could give us to help put our minds at ease about the condition of our tribute?”

The woman looks to Y/N now. District twelve tributes rarely make it this far and everyone is quite taken with the young lovers. Against her better judgment, she motions for Y/N to lean down toward her. “There will be an opportunity for your tribute to receive medicine tomorrow.”

“Is there anything we can send today?” Y/N asks.

“You can send soup.”

“Soup.” Haymitch repeats, with false enthusiasm. “We’ll send them soup.”

————————————————————————

“Attention tributes, commencing at dawn, there will be a feast of sorts, at the cornucopia. Each of you need something desperately and we plan to be…generous hosts.”

“And that is why we couldn’t send medicine,” Haymitch laughs, staring down at the contents of his cup.

They’re trying to wrap this up, everyone’s off in different directions. Bring them back together for one hell of a show before curtain fall.

“Five needs food. Thresh just got bread so…maybe weapons? Two needs…armor? I don’t-” Y/N presses a finger against her temple, desperate for answers.

“You feeling ok?” Haymitch’s brow furrows.

“Yes,” Y/N bites out.

Her husband reels back. It is not uncommon for Y/N to mourn tributes, even ones that aren’t theirs. It is unlike her to take it out on him.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Y/N apologizes, immediately. Taking one of his hands in hers.

Haymitch turns his gaze to their twined fingers, she’s shaking, “when’s the last time you ate something?”

“Not hungry.”

“You need to eat,” he decides.

“Nothing tastes right.”

“Listen angel, if they’re gonna poison you, it won’t be here.”

“I must be coming down with something.” Or the stress. Despite all of this, she’s never faired well under duress.

“Probably why you puked in that lady’s ice bucket.” Haymitch notes.

“You know what does sound halfway decent?”

“Hmm?”

“Those little cream puffs with powdered sugar on top.”

Haymitch grins, “I’ll bring a plate.”

He hovers after that. Y/N can’t stand hovering, but she tolerates it. Understanding that it comes from a place of love. She didn’t mean to worry him.

Haymitch can’t sleep. Even after Y/N is out cold.

“I love you so much, Haymitch.”

She who brushes wayward hair from his eyes and runs her nose along the length of his, after the sweetest of kisses. She who believes in him and shows him each day there is a reason his life did not end in the arena. She is the best person he has ever known and he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to deserve her. To deserve that selfless, all consuming, love that she gives so freely.

“I love you forever.” Maybe even longer.

In that, at least he knows there is no cause for concern. Their marriage will not crumble, come hell or high water. Haymitch knows how badly she misses home, their children. In another life he’d ask for ten, as many as Y/N would give him.

The tiny garden, around the back of their house in victor’s village; where Everest plants carrots and other vegetables. Where Arista steals them to feed the wandering geese. The most taciturn, temperamental, creatures she can find are naturally the ones she chooses to care for.

Y/N’s syringes come like clockwork from the Capitol, every three months. Squandering any hope of tiny baby feet. Though she is the best mother, one who plays with her daughter and son, down in the dirt. A mother who loves her children more than anything.

Their lives there are a safe haven, one that exists only in their minds. There is no room for a place like that here. No safety for the children they’ve given life to. Only false hope and broken promises.

And if by some misfortune or Capitol ‘miracle’ a child should slip through, Haymitch would love them. Somehow, someway they’d all make it through. But he hopes, more than anything, that it is not now.

————————————————————————

There is no rush to the viewing room the next morning, everything the tributes need will be at the cornucopia. Katniss gets close to the bag marked ‘12’ and the girl from two is on her. Knocking her back with those damn knives.

They grapple around for a while, before landing with Clove on top. Leaving Katniss no room for escape as she holds the blade to her throat. Haymitch is seated on the bed, watching Y/N pace along the large screen in their bedroom.

Thankfully the boy from eleven takes out one of the two remaining careers. Overhearing her taunt Katniss and brag about killing his district partner.

“Just this time, twelve.” Thresh tells her, gathering his bag from the table. “For Rue.”

With that they’re off; Thresh back to solitude and Katniss to Peeta.

He’s still asleep when she arrives, waking only to the sound of her voice. “I got it. I got your medicine.”

“What happened to you?” Peeta’s eyes focus on the gash across her forehead, courtesy of Clove.

“I’m fine.” Katniss busies herself with opening the canister.

“No you’re not,” Peeta reaches up, “what happened?”

“The girl from two, she threw a knife.”

“You shouldn’t have gone, you said you weren’t gonna go.”

“You got worse.” She replies, simply. Spreading the salve over the length of his wound.

Peeta allows a small cry to pass his lips, grabbing at her wrist. “You need some of that too.”

“I’m ok.” Katniss is more worried about him.

“That feels so much better.��� He sighs. “Now you need some too.”

“I’m ok.”

“No, come on. You need it too.”

“Alright.” Katniss finally agrees. Watching Peeta’s tender expression as he thumbs the cream over her injury.

When they wake to the computer generated sunrise and find their cuts have healed, the star crossed lovers set off in search of food.

Peeta to the left, foraging berries while Katniss goes to hunt. Though the separation is not ideal, his heavy footsteps would send any potential prey running. The archer is ready to score them some breakfast when the cannon sounds.

It’s for the girl from five. But Katniss doesn’t know that, so she sets off in search of Peeta.

This time, Y/N and Haymitch are down in the viewing room, overhearing the chatter around them.

“Those berries must be poisonous.”

“I hope Katniss finds him in time.”

Katniss calls out for Peeta again, colliding into him a moment later as Peeta rushes toward the sound of her voice. His fist still closed around a handful of blue berries.

“What happened? Are you ok?” Peeta wonders, holding her tightly as she trembles.

“I heard the cannon. I thought you were dead.”

The boy rests his chin against her shoulder, “I’m right here.”

Katniss pulls back to scold him, smacking the berries from his hand. “That’s nightlock, Peeta. You’d be dead in a minute!”

“I didn’t know,” he stammers.

“Scared me half to death, damn you.” Then she is hugging him again. She can’t explain it, the need to feel him close, know that he is safe.

“I’m sorry.” Peeta breathes, soothing her with a gentle hand, down the length of her back. “I’m sorry.”

When they have settled enough to keep moving, they make the discovery of the red head’s body. Her mouth stained magenta and a few berries still in hand, eyes wide and open.

“I never even knew she was following me.”

“She’s clever.” Katniss always thought so.

“Too clever.”

Katniss leans down, collecting the berries from her hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Maybe Cato likes berries too.”

It’s only half past noon when the sun sets, quickly and without warning.

“Must be in a hurry to end it.” Katniss reasons.

Y/N’s leg is bouncing faster now, vibrating almost.

Haymitch reaches out a hand, resting it atop her thigh to still it.

They wait there, in uncomfortable silence, until the sound of mutts causes Y/N to jump. Even Haymitch flinches when the animals appear, like something out of a nightmare, bits of the fallen tributes mixed in.

They take Thresh, tearing him to pieces and Y/N doesn’t fight when Haymitch wraps her up in his arms. Making a place for herself in his lap, legs dangling over the side of his, not caring if she is heavy. He of course, doesn’t mind, pressing a kiss to the underside her jaw.

Cato is waiting at the top of the cornucopia. When Peeta and Katniss inevitably end up there, the three of them have it out. With Cato’s arm around Peeta’s neck, Katniss is left with no good choices. If she shoots the career’s hand where Peeta is pointing and she misses… But if she doesn’t shoot, he’ll kill Peeta anyway. She takes a deep breath and lets the arrow fly.

Cato’s death is a quick one, a mercy he may not have shown with roles reversed. But it is over, leaving just the tributes from district twelve. Gone is the shadow of night, the sun returning to illuminate the finale.

“Attention, tributes, attention, there’s been a slight rule change.”

Katniss draws her bow, fearing that they are somehow not alone.

Haymitch shifts, bracing himself.

“The previous revision allowing two victors from the same district has been…revoked. Only one may be crowned. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Katniss and Peeta turn back to one another.

“Go ahead.” Peeta insists, “one of us should go home. One of us has to die, they have to have their victor.”

“No,” Katniss tosses her weapon down, stepping over it to close the space between them. “They don’t. Why should they?” She pulls the nightlock from her pocket.

“No,” Peeta covers her hand with his own.

“Trust me.” Katniss whispers, “trust me.”

And Peeta does, accepting the berries into his palm.

Haymitch lets out a breath, patting the outside of Y/N’s thigh, affectionately. “You did it.” He murmurs, “there’s your victors.” Even though it isn’t fair, even though there will be nothing to show for it. They won.

Y/N leans farther into his embrace. Wishing more than anything for the chance to tell Peeta that she is proud and to tell Katniss…

“Together?” The boys asks.

“Together,” Katniss repeats.

“Ok. One.” Peeta runs his fingertips down the length of her braid.

“Two.”

“Three.”

Together they raise the poison toward their lips.

“Stop.” A voice rings through the arena, “stop! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the winners of the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games.”

For this, the four of them will surely be punished.

Part 8

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @officialjellydoughnut @whoreforfictionalpeople @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004

[your-averagewriter]

Hi,

Can I please request a young!Haymitch x reader where they’re both in the 50th Hunger Games and they team up and there’s like romantic tension (+ some rivals to lovers) and they end up having a steamy make out please?

Word count: 3.4K (I got so carried away here.)

Warnings: Blood, weapons, murder, death, usual Hunger Games warnings, kissing, make out session.

“I think we should work together.” I say, planting myself down on the seat in front of Haymitch.

“And why would we work together?” He says, bringing the fork full of food to his mouth.

“There’s gonna be 48 kids in that arena, do you really want to go in there alone?” I ask him.

“Why would I team up with you?” He asks as if I’m disgusting.

“You know me.” He looks at me unconvinced. “Well, sort of know me. Know of me then.” I correct. “We’re from the same district, similar age and I’ve got a good set of skills. I could be a good asset to you.” I say, with less confidence than I intended as this boy towers over me, even sitting down.

“What skills do you have?” He asks, still doubtful and rightly cautious of me.

“I can track, animals or people. I can identify most if not all plants and roots and I can prepare them for eating. I can also hunt with minimal tools, I only need a blade, the size doesn’t matter.” I say with a smile, content with my pitch.

“And you want to be allies?” He asks.

“Yes. You and me until the final five or six.”

“If we get that far…” He chimes in.

“Yes… If we get that far.” I sigh. “So, what do you think?”

“I’ll work with you but I’m not gonna put myself in danger for you.” He says, with a dark, snarky tone.

“Okay.” I say and chuckle slightly nervously. Having Haymitch with me not only offers me a bit more protection but company and companionship.

“In training tomorrow we can figure out more of a strategy and how this is gonna work.” He says signalling to the two of us. I nod, happy that he’s changed his mindset.

“I’ll see you then.” I say, hopping up from my seat, grabbing a bread roll and leaving the room but not before Haymitch stops me.

“Also, this is exclusive.” He signals to us again. “Don’t go partnering up or inviting other people.” He says and I nod before leaving the room.

------------

“(y/n).” I hear someone whisper as I enter the training room. Slightly overwhelmed by the sight of masses of armed kids in the room and the loud noises they’re all making I turn around, slightly stressed looking for the voice. “(y/n).” I hear again although slightly louder this time and I manage to clock the direction of the voice. Turning to face the voice I’m met with Haymitch sat on one of the benches sharpening a set of knives.

“Hey.” I say quietly, walking over with a smile and sitting next to him. “What are these for?” I ask.

“You. I wanna see how good you are with them.” He says, focusing on the blades.

“I thought we were going to plan a strategy.” I say, confused.

“We can’t plan a strategy if we don’t know what each others’ skills are.” 

“Okay.” I say and he stands up, gripping the knives.

“C’mon.” He says and I follow him blindly towards one of the stations. We move to stand by the throwing mark, luckily the station is unoccupied. “Go on then.” He says passing me three blades for the three targets.

I step forward to stand on the throwing line and take a deep breath before preparing the blades. Each one I throw hits right in the centre of the target (the meaning on the target has taken on a much darker meaning after being thrown in these Games). I turn around to see Haymitch with a small smirk on his face causing a hint of a smile to emerge from mine.

“I told you I could hunt.” I say and tries to suppress his smile.

“You did. Okay, you’ve held up your end of the deal, my turn now.” He says and I follow him again through the training room to the weapons rack. Collecting an axe he walks over to a different station to present his skills.

He prepares to throw and hits the bullseye quite impressively and I cheer for him despite him looking back at me with a scowl which only makes me chuckle. It’s funny how an action so small can make you forget about having to fight to the death. 

“That was impressive, where’d you learn that?” I ask.

“I didn’t ask where you learnt to hunt in a district lacking in nature so don’t ask me where I learnt my shit.” I’m taken aback by his response and the abrasiveness of it.

“Sorry.” I say quietly and trail behind him again, suddenly all too aware of the eyes following us.

“It’s fine.” He says reluctantly, the depth of his voice finally revealed. “Let’s just get on with the strategy.”

The next few hours were spent either eating (lunchtime) or spent planning for the arena: tactics, plans, strategy, weapons, everything. Luckily during our planning session he relaxed a little and we ate lunch together (separate to the other tributes, there’s no point getting to know people who we’re gonna kill or will get killed).

-------------

Today’s the interview day which means a day packed full of fancy clothing and fake smiles. Every year we’re forced to watch the Hunger Games and nothing feels more fake than the interviews. This year because it’s a Quarter Quell and there’s double the number of tributes we’ve been paired with another from our District so Haymitch and I are getting interviewed together. 

I’m smothered in perfumes and fragrances and a dress is fitted to me, needles prodded in me on multiple occasions. It’s a fairly horrendous dress - it’s black and form fitting with trails of rock  like material symbolising the coal mines of District 12. I’ve got red lipstick and a fairly generous amount of blush.My hair is pulled back and pinned as tight as they could without pulling it and similar black “gems” are dotted on my head.

Rolling my eyes, I walk out of the dressing room to go and meet Haymitch (who is hopefully dressed better than me but I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re matching) in the tribute queue. I walk through the corridor and curse the black gems stuck to my eyelid preventing me from blinking without them irritating me.

I find the queue and look for Haymitch.

“Haymitch?” I question, craning my neck to see down the line.

“Down here!” I hear him say, sticking his hand out from the line, waving.

I make my way down the line, careful to look out for Haymitch as I trail past the districts, a slight wobble in my step because of the unnecessarily large heels.

“Hey.” I say, finally reaching the end of the line, tripping slightly at the end on my dress but mostly because of my heels.

Haymitch reaches his arms out grabbing onto my hands so I don’t properly fall over. I feel his warm palms against mine and manage to restabilize myself.

“Thanks.” I say, letting out a sigh of relief.

“You look… beautiful.” He says, looking up at me and still holding onto my hands just a little more gently.

“Really? I hate the dress.” I say looking down but luckily the excessive blush covers my natural blush. “The lumpy bits are so tacky.” I say, looking at the things that are meant to represent coals.

“Okay, maybe not the rocky parts…” He says trailing off with a chuckle.

“I can’t believe you don’t have these stupid rock things on your suit, that’s so not fair!” I say and he finally releases my hands to straighten his tie. “You’ve only got the little gems on your tie!” I point out and cross my arms in frustration.

“It’ll be fine. We’re last anyway so most people will have stopped paying attention by then so no one will even care.”

“You don’t think anyone will watch?” I ask, slightly down about it and he seems to ponder the question. “How will we get any sponsors?” I say, disheartened.

“I’m sure our scores of 9 and 10 will help there.” He says with a small smirk referencing our private training sessions that were assessed.

“We did pretty well.” I say.

“Now, you’ve just gotta look pretty and answer their questions with a smile. Shouldn’t be too hard.” He smirks.

“Only if you turn on the charisma and show everyone your dashing smile. Maybe then we’ll get sponsors.” I already have a smile on my face.

“You’re making this too easy to win.” He replies, a smirk planted on his face.

-----------

After a successful interview filled with smiles and sponsors and small flirtatious comments we finally got to sleep, ready for what the next day had coming: The 50th Hunger Games.

I wake up the next morning and after choking down some bread and butter we’re all sent straight to our prep teams then off to the arena.

I get to talk to Haymitch once more before we’re thrown into the arena so it’s our last chance to finalise our plans.

“As soon as we get in the arena you don’t go for the Cornucopia - I’ll grab what I can from the outskirts before meeting you by the edge of the forest or whatever it is, the edge of the Cornucopia. Got it?” He asks, holding onto my hands and emphasising the plan. I try to listen to him but the nerves make it harder and harder by the second.

“Y-yeah.” I manage to breathe out but I can feel my heart thumping in my throat.

“You sure?” He asks, aware of what I’m feeling, at least partially.

“I’ve got it. Basically run.” I say trying a smile but only managing to upturn the edges of my lips. He nods and grips onto my shoulders grounding me before we’re separated.

In my tube (separate from Haymitch) I can’t help a hopeless feeling overwhelm me before we start rising. Finally in the arena, I survey the area, it’s woodland which optimises both our skill sets and offers us resources. My eyes scan across the tributes, searching for Haymitch, he’s a little less than half way around the circle of tributes meaning our positioning could be better but it could be worse.

Looking behind me I check for possible meeting points before spotting a backpack which we were told includes a water bottle, rope, a small weapon (likely to be a knife) and possibly a sort of medicine, bandages or food. My mind replays the conversation I just had with Haymitch about running but the bag is so alluring. Our chances could be greatly increased by the contents of that bag so I make the decision as the countdown starts to race to grab the bag before running.

The clock is counting down and as it reaches the lower numbers I prepare to launch myself off the podium but I’m careful not to step off before the countdown is up.

As soon as I hear the gun fire I dart off of the podium towards the bag keeping an eye on the tributes around me. A lot of them ran but because there’s a greater number of tributes a greater number ran towards the Cornucopia including, surprisingly, me.

Sprinting across the field I feel my heart thumping in my chest, terrified of the prospects of a battle but desperate for the chances the backpack could provide. I get to the bag and reach for it, wrapping my fingers around the straps and hoisting it onto my back before shooting back away, towards the treeline but I feel someone’s hands on my shoulders pushing me to the ground. I fall and knowing it’s not Haymitch I try to roll over and squirm away only to be met with the smirking face of one of the District 4 boys. My chances at life diminish as time goes on and I feel the tears fall down my cheeks as he makes mocking remarks and motions, shoving a knife in my face - playing with me. I try to move out of his way but he has me pinned down by my shoulders and he’s sat on my torso, legs around my waist.

I try to push him off and when he budges, falling off of me I know that it can’t have been because of me. He’s at least twice the size of me, at worst three times.

I look around and shuffle backwards hurriedly trying to remove myself from his grasp. Once I’m out of his reach I turn around to see him being tackled by another boy who then knocks him out but I’m not sure whether he’s dead or not as there’s so many cannons going off it’s hard to tell who's is who's. Now scared of this unknown boy who just beat up my attacker I shuffle further, stumbling as I try to get to my feet but he turns around to reveal a familiar face. Haymitch. I let out a small sigh of relief before he’s running back towards me, grabbing at my arms and yelling at me to run.

I shake my head, slightly, snapping back into the Games realising that these moments define our lives or our deaths. He grabs hold of my arm and I’m careful to grip onto the bag as we run. We make it to the treeline and I watch him turn his head quickly, looking for the other tributes but he makes sure to keep it brief and turns, pulling me into the woodland with him.

We run for what feels like forever but could’ve only been a matter of minutes. There’s no noises other than that of the cannons and our fast breathing, and I swear that I can hear his heart beating over mine. His hand remains securely lodged in mine, careful not to release me as we make our way further into the forest, for I’m not sure how much longer.

After a few more minutes, Haymitch’s pace slows down and I’m glad it does because my lungs feel like they’re gonna explode.

He slowly lets go of my hand as we draw to a stop in a grassy, wooded area. Immediately, I fall to the floor, on my hands and knees to try and catch my breath whilst he stands leaning over, his hands on his knees, gasping like I am. Whilst I can run, I’ve never run like that before.

Dumping the backpack beside me I notice that Haymitch has a large cut on his calf. I quickly open the backpack, desperate to see that it was worthwhile running for the bag. I start pulling items out of it: a rope, water bottle, small set of knives, a bundle of bandages and a wound cleaning kit. I sit back on my heels and feel a sense of relief as I make my way towards Haymitch. 

“S-” I swallow, clearing my throat. “Sit down, please.” I say quietly, still struggling with my breath.

He sits down on the grassy floor and I shuffle towards him, preparing to clean and bandage his wound. “I’m sorry.” I say, quietly, ashamed that my quick thinking got him hurt. “I’m so sorry.” I say and I struggle to focus on the medical equipment in front of me when my tears blur my eyes.

He doesn’t say anything so I move to clean his wound.

“I thought I was gonna die.” I say, my voice cracking slightly. “He was mocking me, had his knife in my face and that.” I say, finally in control of my breathing, my heart rate still too high. “He would’ve killed me if you weren’t there.” I say and pause looking up at him even though he’s not looking at me. “Thank you.” I wrap the bandage around his leg, careful to tie it tight enough but not too much. “I owe you my life.” I say. “I hope I can repay you one day.”

“I hope you can’t.” He says and I look at him, confused but also happy that he’s talking.

“What? Why?” I say getting up after finishing with his leg.

“I don’t want you to die for me.” He stands up a mere moment after me and finally looks me in my eyes.

“You just put your life on the line for me. You could’ve died.” I point out even though it’s obvious. “Because of me being stupid and not following the plan.” I say with a frown. “You said you wouldn’t do that.” I say, remembering the conversation we had when we first became allies. “You said you weren’t gonna put yourself in danger for me.” I repeat his earlier words.

“Yeah, well, things change.” He says.

“What changed?” I ask, my hands threaded in my hair, stressed out by both the conversation and the situation we’re in.

“I changed.” He says before leaning in towards me and tentatively placing his lips against mine, it’s experimental and he pulls back after a few seconds, nervously. My eyes are wide and my mouth lies open, confused but also in awe of what just happened. It takes me a few moments to process what just happened before I see Haymitch staring at me, looking slightly disheartened by my reaction.

“Forget about it-” He starts and turns to walk away but my hands reach for the sides of his face and I pull him back round so his lips meet mine again. This time more fervently and with a sense of desperation and longing. Now it’s his turn to look confused but he quickly gets into it and his hands move to find their place on my waist. He deepens the kiss, his lips desperate against  mine, determined to make the most of these moments. One of my hands stays cupping his face whilst the other moves to the back of his neck where I find myself playing with the tufts of his hair.

After a few more seconds I pull away, needing to breathe but I place my forehead against his as we both breathe in unison. There’s a smile on my face, the feeling of stress has now been replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach - butterflies as some would say.

“You do seem to have changed…” I say with a quiet laugh.

“Shut up.” He says, suddenly embarrassed by his previous words before pushing his lips against mine harder than before,

The force sends me back a little bit due to my surprise but his hands on my waist reassure me of my safety as he pins to a nearby tree. The bark is rough against my back but I can’t say that I care when his lips are on mine. His lips move roughly against mine and I gladly allow his tongue entrance as it presses against my lips. Mingling with mine, his tongue pushes through my lips and seems to search through the corners of my mouth. His lips are dry but so are mine after our run. He pulls away only for his lips to meet the skin of my jaw, he peppers kisses along my jaw but makes sure each kiss has all his attention and care. 

I tuck my head to the side, embarrassed at how bare I am, standing, pinned against a tree by a boy I only really met a week ago.

“Don’t hide your face, love.” He says and the pet name at the end makes me feel weak and my knees suddenly become wobbly which doesn’t seem to bother Haymitch as he just holds us both up - one of his knees pushed against the tree, between my legs to keep me up. I look into his eyes as he’s focused on my jaw, making his way up my face to my lips once again with nothing but desire consuming his eyes.

“They’re watching.” I say quietly, indicating with my eyes towards the cameras hidden amongst the arena.

“I don’t care.” He says between kisses. “Fuck them.” He breathes out as he presses his lips against mine with one of his hands trailing down my torso to my leg, stroking the plush skin of my thigh causing me to feel hot and flustered, the feeling tingling and travelling through my veins and making my body hot.

“Fuck them.” I say, quietly against his lips, feeling him smirk against mine.

-

AN: I really enjoyed writing this, it was such a good request and I loved it so I hope you do to! Thanks for the request!

I got a bit carried away with this piece, I only intended it to be about 1,000 words but it turned out at three times that much.

[balladofmyramblings]

What would have happened if

1. Katniss didn't volunteer for Prim, so Prim and Peeta compete in 74th Games.

2. Gale and Katniss compete.

3. Katniss and Peeta's brother compete. Before, he volunteered for Peeta.

The Questions :

A.What strategy would Haymitch made for District 12?

B.What would Katniss do to them? Would she become an ally with those 2 boys?

C.Who would be the winner in the end?

Thank you so much :)

@curiousnonny

You have ZERO idea how much I’ve thought about the first question.

Let’s start from the beginning: they’re reaped. they get to the capitol. I think that their outfits would have stayed the same, so they would’ve made the same kind of statement before the games and had a fair bit of attention.

next, training. I think Peeta and Prim would still spend a lot of time together, like an older brother and younger sister bond. Prim might not know him as well, and Peeta might not know her as well, but I think they’d still want the best for each other, and of course Peeta would want to protect Prim as much as possible (both for Katniss’ sake and because he’s a good person).

For the personal training score thing, Peeta would probably get the same score, and I’m guessing Prim would show off her healing knowledge as much as she could and maybe score a 6-8, if she’s lucky, or a 4 if not. Either way, it wouldn’t be like Katniss’ 11, but enough to get some attention.

Now, the interviews. I think Prim would play up her medical aspect, how she has that advantage despite being so young, and talk a fair bit about Katniss and her protection (that she now doesn’t have). I think she’d gain a fair bit of sympathy for it, and while maybe not thought of as a victor, she’d still be seen as useful and not completely discredited.

Then Peeta comes in. I think he’d still be just as charming and all, and when Flickerman asks him about girls again, his answer will stay the same. Prim will probably believe it way better than Katniss did honestly, and I think that they could maybe bond over it, and Prim would probably think it was funny.

Peeta would still have managed to intrigue the viewers, and while it wouldn’t be as fun watching the love story play out, it’d still be cool. I think Katniss would probably be interviewed earlier than the last 8 tributes, or after Peeta gets in a troubling spot (but not with the careers- I’ll get to that later) (side note I just almost called them death eaters and earlier almost called the capitol the hallow this is a PROBLEM atp).

Katniss’ response would probably be something like, “I’ve always appreciated Peeta, and am so thankful he can look after my sister. I want her home safe.” Or something like that- not denying her and Peeta, but focusing the attention back to Prim, because she knows how this works and needs Prim to stay relevant and not be overshadowed so much that people want Peeta to win instead of her so he can get home to Katniss.

In the actual games, I think Peeta would stay with Prim, who would’ve made friends with Rue during training. Omg I totally forgot about Rue.

I think Prim and Rue would’ve become friends with each other during training after both trying to observe each other because they’re both so young. I think Peeta would’ve stuck with both of them.

So yeah, I know it’s probably annoying to the Peeta-haters to paint him as this kid defender/protecter, but I genuinely believe that’s what he’d do.

During the arena, I can only guess at. I think Rue would’ve tried to show them her hiding spots, and Prim tried to show Peeta what Katniss had showed her about hunting, but they would’ve had to find some in between and probably gone for something in the middle for both of them (maybe 40ft off ground instead of 80ft, and only foraging).

I think they would’ve made it pretty far tbh, like to the top 12 given all their combined skills, but anything past that I can only guess at. Yes, I should probably be trying to be more creative, but it’s so open and I don’t think Prim would be comfortable going after to KILL the careers nor do I think any of them would know about the hoard of food or stuff.

In the end, I think Peeta would’ve died first, or it would’ve been like what happened with Rue and Katniss. If that happened with either Prim or Rue, Peeta would still try his best to get the other one to make it to the end, and if it came down to the two of them I think he would’ve let the other one win.

Honestly though, I have pretty good hopes for their little group, especially Rue now that she’s with far less bold people. So I think the victor that year would either be Prim, Rue, or a career. Slim chance for Peeta, and the 2 people if from the same district never would’ve been inacted if this happened.

Katniss and Gale I really feel like depends. If they were both reaped, that would’ve sucked, so I’ll get to that later. If Gale had VOLUNTEERED for Peeta…well let’s just say he wouldn’t want to do that.

See, I think Katniss literally thinks about this. She’d never forgive him for not taking care of Prim while she was gone. Especially CHOOSING to follow her to a death arena. Look at how mad she got at Peeta for saying he liked her- this would basically be a bigger version of that, and he knows her so much better (or they both think he does), so it would hurt more.

I think Katniss would’ve just been so angry with him for the train ride and training Haymitch nor Cinna could’ve done anything about it, and just painted them as adversaries instead (although Gale wouldn’t be helping this). Katniss’ training would’ve gone about the same, and I’m guessing Gale could’ve pulled a score anywhere in the 8-10 range.

Now, I think the interviews would decide how the rest of the games would go. I think Katniss’ would’ve gone about the same, except with maybe a jab at Gale because he was supposed to stay and protect her sister. I don’t think she would’ve gone overboard with it though, because there was still that part of her that wanted to protect him, even if he’d done this.

And then Gale’s interview I have two thoughts for.

Possibility one- his hatred of the games overcomes his love & desire to win Katniss back. He sits completely silently the entire interview, not interacting with or acknowledging Ceaser or the audience the entire time. This would earn him points with sponsors, but not the capital because of the rebellion aspect.

Possiblity two (less likely)- his love and desire to win Katniss back overtakes his hatred of the games, and while he does spend time playing up his benefits (to appeal himself), he does ask for her back. During Katniss’ interview, she would’ve put her foot DOWN on this and honestly probably refused to answer anything about him, bringing the attention back to her and her skills.

In the arena, I think Gale would’ve spent like the first day trying to find Katniss, but because Peeta wasn’t there to distract her Katniss would also have her bow, so he would’ve left soon enough after realizing this.

Katniss’ journey may have stayed mostly the same, with the careers after her, except this time Gale might’ve joined them for REAL instead of Peeta (if it was the first version of the interviews). Not to mention, he would’ve known the look in the trees, and would know it was her shooting that got her the 11 (by deducing it- Katniss definitely wouldn’t have told him).

If it had come down to Katniss and Gale, I think Katniss would’ve offered the berries again tbh (if she still had them). She holds many grudges, sure, but I think she would’ve cared about Gale’s family too much to just kill him, and again, he’s her best friend. I think Gale would’ve accepted, but let her eat the berries, thinking she was doing that to him.

Honestly, there are so many possibilities for this, and I don’t think I know Gale’s character enough to fully explain and predict him lmao.

If Katniss and Peeta’s brother competed, my best guess is it would be just like a normal hunger games for her. She wouldn’t go after him, he probably wouldn’t go after her, and they would mostly not interact imo. Maybe there’d be something about Peeta’s brother trying to steal her attention, and it’s only main outcome different than the original would be stirring up more attention for d12 in the reaping.

Geez I really need to start reading questions fully before answering. I think I mostly did though, but for the Haymitch thing, I feel like it’d just depend on how they felt about stuff. He’d probably just drink for Katniss and Peeta’s brother, but be more focused with Prim & Peeta and Katniss & Gale due to the more drama.

Really interesting question to explore, so thanks, @curiousnonny ! As always, feel free to debate and discuss other possibilities in the replies/reblogs- I’d LOVE to hear y’all’s ideas for it.

[guess-i-do-art]

So I’ve been thinking about Sunrise on the Reaping, how it’s gonna play out. You know what would be really depressing?

Haymitch Abernathy, “first” victor from District 12. Winner of the fiftieth Hunger Games and the second Quarter Quell. A poor boy from the Seam who defeated twice the number of tributes. The unlikely champion.

He’d used the Capitol’s arena against itself. He endured extreme pain and injury. He had to witness his beloved Maysilee die right before his eyes. Watched as an ax cut through a girl’s head. Remember the countless young lives he took. The horrors that could have driven him to insanity.

After being announced as the victor and being taken from the arena, he received medical attention before having to sit through countless interviews being watched by everyone in Panem. Haymitch put on a smile, saying exactly what the Capitol wanted him to. The entire time he hid his emotions, not letting anyone see through him.

All Haymitch wanted was to go home. To see his family. He caught a glimpse of them waving and cheering as he stood before the District, but the Peacekeepers wouldn’t let him go to them. His mother, who he could always confide in. His father, who never expected him to say anything but would always listen. His siblings, who he could open up to and show his weaknesses to without being judged. His pet, because he found that being around animals was healing.

He was finally allowed to return to his little home on the edge of the Seam, facing the woods. This was where he grew up. He knew the house to be noisy and warm with fire from the coals harvested by his own father. Haymitch was impatient to step through the door and be greeted by his family, surely proud of him.

But something was different.

Silence. The house was cold, empty, and dark. There was no sign of struggle; all the furniture was standing up, but nothing seemed to be in its normal place. An uncut loaf of bread rested on the kitchen countertop. Everything was clean and perfect. Perfect, except for the lingering smell of blood. Haymitch immediately dropped his things, his victor’s crown clattering to the floor. He felt tears streaming down his face. He took a step forward.

Lying on the dining room table was an ax, and a glass vase holding a singular white rose.

Yeah I write sometimes. Haymitch is my favorite character so obviously I’m going to dump more trauma than necessary on him. It’s how I show affection 🫶

I am not exaggerating when I tell you I screamed and immediately started working on fanart when I heard Sunrise on the Reaping was coming out, I’ve been waiting for this for idfk 4 years?? Which isn’t very long but I’m quite impatient

The drawings above were made by me :D there’s the full picture, then a close up of the rose + ax and another of Haymitch. Woody did an amazing job as Haymitch but my heart belongs to the book accurate POC version of him ☺️ I suggest clicking on the images to see them better

Sorry if everything looks weird :/ I’m not used to drawing stuff like this

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING part. 15

HI. So, Daisy had a bad bad day (week... month...) in this chapter. What do you think about Inez? And mommy Holly? I admit I'm a little upset about Holly lol.

MASTERLIST

«You really think this is good for you.» You know your mother means well, and you honestly love her so much, but something shifted when you came back.

After a week you can sense it. She doesn’t get that in the games, and before the games, you had to do things you didn’t want to because you wanted to protect the people you cared about. She still thinks Clark’s death has been unfair. She blames you for this, even if she never tells you that. And she blames you because you changed, you get along with a Capitol girl, basically because you survived.

And to think she doesn’t know what you had to do with the orders of President Snow. She would hate you. She already hates you because you managed to get black eyeshadows from ashes with Effie.

«Yes, I think he is good for me and I’m good for him.» You deadspat, and you are sure of it. Well, you are sure he is good for you, because there’s no feeling matching when you are in his arms. The other part… not so sure. It is a fact you only gave him problems. He didn’t want to be attached to you, he didn’t want to like you, you forced his hands. You forced his hands by being adorable and incredibly sexy, but it doesn’t change the result.

«Of course you are good for him, you are twenty four, he must be on cloud nine.» She spat. Holly has to stop the urge to close your door and ground you, you can see it on her face. She wants to behave like you are sixteen.

«He doesn’t care about those things.» If you have to be sincere it’s you the one who always wants kisses and cuddles.

«Like hell he doesn’t.» 

«Mom!» You yell, exhausted. You don’t push a hunger games tribute this way, not even your daughter. It is dangerous. You only want to get out, have some fresh air you can’t have in Thirteen, or at least speak with someone who is not sure you are the devil reincarnated.

«And that woman! Are you friends with Effie Trinket? The woman who reaped our children? A woman from Capitol City? Hell, the woman from Capitol City!» You feel the urge to scream at her again, even if she’s your mom and you never did it before. But Effie is the most precious person after Haymitch, and she’s being incredibly unfair.

«Holly, Effie is a good person. She protected me.» You try to tell her, but she doesn’t want to listen to you, she is so sure she is right. You used to think it was a miracle you looked so alike when she adopted you: both with brown hair, same height, heart shaped face. Now it just irritates you.

«After she said your name in the reaping?» 

«Mom! When I was there she made sure I got out alive! If it weren't for her… she was just a girl who decided on a career when she was too young and then got trapped. She is here, right? With us, with the rebels.» 

Holly only scuffs and eyerolls. She’s insufferable. 

«It is okay if you are friends with the girls from your games, because you shared a traumatic experience, but her-» At this point you snap. You can’t take it anymore.

«You don't get to decide who I talk to, who my friends are or the man that I like! Stop it. I’m not a child.»

«Then stop acting like one! And clean your face, you are ridiculous.»

With that she tries to take your arm and push you to the sink, probably to wash your face, but you resist her. It’s not District Twelve anymore, hell you are not twelve anymore and you won’t let her treat you this way.

«Get off of me!»

«What is going on here?» The door is open, and at that moment Perla must have been near your room. Her room is close to yours, she is with Lora.

You are spending a lot of time together, the three of us, usually with Effie and Finnick. Sometimes even Katniss, but she’s with the oldest Hawthorne boy most of the time.

The tears from the moment don’t come, because you need to be your best self. Today is the day they let you see Haymitch. You wanted to put on a pretty dress, but of course the grey suit is what they permit, so grey jumpsuit it is.

«Nothing.» You tear up, but you don’t want to cause a scene. «My mom was just leaving.»

The nurse is not Inez, it’s an old woman who seems sweet, but she gives you a look before leaving. You only imagine what she must think of you, these days you figured people have two sides of you: you are either a victor slut who used her body to seduce a poor old guy, or a naive little girl who fell in love. 

«Don’t tire him.» She recommends. Maybe she's right about that.

«I promise.»

You turn to Haymitch, who’s apparently sleeping. It’s not his best form, he is tired, sweaty, he has dark circles around his eyes and his hands are shaking when you reach them.

«Ehi.» You whisper. 

«Ehi gorgeous.» He strokes your hair. He’s clearly in pain even doing this. How could they do that to him? «So gorgeous.» 

«They told me you are the perfect patient.» You sound proud. You expected him to be an asshole, but he’s behaving and that means this hell is going to end soon and you will have your not-boyfriend back.

«The hallucinations are gone, they told me.» He reassures you. «I’m just… so tired now…»

«Sleep!» You suggest, and you climb into his bed to be closer to him. «If you want to sleep I’ll stay here with you. I’ll watch over you.»

He manages to bring you even closer as he pulls you in a hug. Nothing feels good like his hugs, even when he is trembling and shaking. «I missed you.»

That’s a big thing. He never admits things like this. He can say things like “Hey sexy” or “Gorgeous”, but he is not sweet. He doesn’t admit things, because things you say out loud could go wrong.

«I missed you too.» 

«How’s Katniss?» Katniss is a wreck, she doesn’t have Peeta and that is torturing her. She spends all her time with Gale or Primrose, which is a good thing but she is a sixteen years old who doesn’t deserve all of this madness. The poor kid.

«She’s surviving.» You tell him the truth. There’s no point in saying “She’s good!”, he knows when you lie. 

«She’s a survivor, that kid.» He has a violet shake, which he suppresses almost immediately. You can’t see him in such pain. «And you?» 

«I’m okay. I stay with Effie, she’s incredibly strong. And I’ll begin a class for the kids.»

He just hums. You hope he is calmer now. 

«Mh, this thing we have, you know…» His hands reach for your ass and you can’t help but giggle. «Does that mean I get to do this whenever I want?»

«Yeah.» You nod. He changed the subject with something lighter, of course. But you think it could be a confirmation too, that you are not tired of him, of waiting, that you didn’t meet a cute boy from district thirteen and decided you didn’t want him anymore.

«And this?» He kisses you, and you are a little embarrassed that you are so assertive to his touch, but you feel like heaven. 

«I’m yours, Abernathy. Every inch of my body. Can you please get out of here soon?» You caress his hair, and you wonder if they have showers there. Did they change his sheets? Washed his face? Or he is left to his destiny?

«I’m trying.» He kisses your cheek. «I really missed you. The hallucinations were hard. They tied me up.»

«They told me I couldn’t come.» You feel guilty. They tied him up, you repeat in your mind. These bastards. 

«Yeah, not a pretty sight. I really had a crazy thought… but now you are here.»

«I’ll always be here if you want.» You whisper against his lips. 

«I want it, yeah.» 

There’s a moment of silence, and you really believe everything is going to be okay.

«Do you have any alcohol?» He murmurs in your ear, but you shake your head. 

«Haymitch, you know if I could… but they won't let me.» You try to make him resonate, but you feel his grip become stronger. 

«Please, love, you have to.» His body is on yours, his hands on your wrists and you begin to feel threatened. In his right mind, Haymitch would never hurt you, you are sure of that. Now he is not in his right mind. «You don’t understand, they are killing me.»

«I don’t have any alcohol, Haymitch please! Please, you are hurting me!» 

You can see the realisation in his eyes. He immediately let you go, and you see red signs on your wrists. You are both exhausted and terrified, your eyes are watering now and his are the image of the shock. 

You are the one who shakes it out first. «It’s okay, it’s okay we knew it was going to happen.» You caress his cheek, and you even try to smile. It doesn’t work.

«I hurt you.» He states, still upset. 

«You didn’t want to.» And it hurts, but it’s not his fault. You get that. He just slipped, he was going so well. This is wrong, a rehab facility is not supposed to be like this. You know it exists in Panem, in Capitol City and District One mostly, but you can bet it’s not this violent.

«I hurt you.» He repeats. You can’t say anything else, because Inez comes into the room. Maybe it was a change of turn. 

«Time’s up, little lady. Oh, you are not supposed to be in the bed.» She points out, a little annoyed. 

«Don’t go with her!» Haymitch suddenly shouts, and this time it is you who are shocked. You don’t expect this kind of reaction. «Don’t, she’s not real.»

«She is real, she’s the nurse.»

The hallucinations again. You shake your head, but he is hugging you and shaking you and you are not strong enough. Fuck, it hurts. 

«She has broken ribs, she can die!» 

«You stay away from her, you demon!»

You are a little lightweight, but Inez must have a lot of strength because she pulls you out so quickly you almost don’t know what happened, it’s all a blur. The next thing you know is that you are crying your heart out, curled up on a chair, and Inez is patting your back.

Inez seems like a good person. She has blonde hair, with just a few white strands, and sweet green eyes. She must have been beautiful when she was young. 

You don’t want to admit it, because you just had a fight, but part of you wants your mama. 

«We have to check the bandages. If you don’t feel okay you must tell me immediately, do you understand me?»

You nod, but you don’t feel so bad. Not physically. 

Oh, cut the crap, a voice tells you. Your voice. He is not in his right mind. He has been captured and he has an addiction. He was hallucinating, for fucks sake, he didn’t want to hurt you. 

You don’t know if the voice is right, or is simply too used to a world where violence is justified. He isn’t in his right mind, but you still don’t deserve it. 

«He didn’t want to.» You feel the urge to defend him.

«Still did it.» It’s the only comment the nurse makes. 

«He is a good man.»

She pauses, she’s clearly conflicted, but then she speaks again. «That is how your life will be. I’m not saying he is a bad man, for what I’ve seen on television he is… well, he is problematic at least. And okay, he may be a good man, but are you ready for this?»

You try to stop her to defend him, but she seems very determined to go on. «You are young. Too young for him and he should know better. You won’t want to spend your evenings cleaning his vomit because he had a bad day.»

You gulp. The memories of that particular day in the penthouse return. But then again, he was trying to save your life, he was desperate because District 13 didn’t want to risk the mission to save you.

«You seem to know a lot about this life.» You whisper. 

The speech succeeded in something your mother failed to do: giving you doubs. You return to your room puzzled and confused and at dinner you watch Perla and Lora giving you gossip about the new district, Finnick so upset about Annie, and Effie glued to your side (because all District 12 hates her, you admit) but you can’t participate in the conversations.

She just chuckles. «My father, my boyfriend’s father… It's a habit in our district, girl. And you have the chance to get out. Get. Out. Don’t trap yourself in something you want because he behaved like Prince Charming for five minutes.»

It is little Primrose who wakes you up. «Tomorrow you will give us lessons?» She asks. She is very polite, but you can hear incertitude in her voice.

«Yes, Prim. I’ll be your teacher.»

«I don’t want to sound rude…» She begins and you smile at her.

«I don’t think you could even if you wanted to.»

«…What for?»

You stroke her hair before you answer that. She is just the sweetest person alive. «This war will be over, and I want you and your classmates to be able to read, count and write. You want to be a nurse, right? You’ll need maths. Plus, books are a joy to read. They really could bring happiness! I don’t want you to miss that.»

Her face lifts up. «With that I could be a good nurse?»

«From what I’ve heard you already are a good nurse, but you can improve.»

She looks a little happier now, and after she nods and go away, at her table with Katniss and Mrs. Everdeen, Effie sighs.

«What’s wrong, Effs?» 

«Nothing, she is a wonderful kid, isn’t she?» 

Oh, guilt. She was the one who picked her name, she was the one who started all of this, and she was the one who grew fondly of Katniss and now she loves her like her own daughter.

She has a soft spot for Primrose too, you can see it.

«They know you are a good woman. Maybe not Mrs. Everdeen, but Katniss loves you, and Prim recognizes a good heart.» You squeeze her hand. «You are as a rebel as I am, Effie Trinket.»

«You are so good with her. You are wonderful with kids. Tomorrow will be a great day, and you know, maybe you’ll want some of your own too.» 

You swallow but try not to make it clear. Yes, kids Haymitch, so safe, such a great idea. 

«Let’s go to sleep, I’m exhausted.» You declare, and you get up. «Goodnight.»

[standingontheoverpassscreaming]

I’m just gonna keep a running list of Sunrise on the Reaping spoilers below the cut as I go

*SPOILERS*

Lenore Dove is Clerk Carmine’s niece????

Burdock is Katniss’s dad isn’t he 😭

And of course he’s Lenore’s cousin 

That’s definitely Katniss’s dad… But not Lenore’s cousin? 

LENORE IS A BAIRD???

MOM DIED IN CHILDBIRTH???

PA’S NAME IS A MYSTERY???

shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut. the. fuck. up is Lenore the product of Lucy Gray and Snow

“And that’s part of our trouble. Thinking things are inevitable. Not believing change is possible.” oof Collins said what she said.

I mean that’s probably not likely right, but wasn’t Lucy Gray the only Baird? I would’ve thought Maude Ivory but… hold on lemme look

okay so she could be Barb’s, but Barb had a girlfriend. and was the oldest of the bunch. which admittedly could’ve been like 20. But that was 40 years before Sunrise. So she’d be 60 in Sunrise and Lenore Dove is only about 16 so she’d be having a child at like 44, but people in 12 die young and reproduce kinda young so that’s just not as likely… then again, she did die in childbirth. and if it somehow was Lucy Gray, she’d also be about 40 when birthing. I did not think about the math when I flipped out earlier, definitely not Snow’s at least but jfc I need this family tree

THATS THE COVER!!!! OF THE BOOK!!! Lenore Dove you spicy minx you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re sending him to the Capitol wearing this??? GURL

“It takes a lot to break these two. They’re survivors.” UHHHHH???? I really didn’t think I needed to know for sure what Lucy Gray’s fate was but now I’m frothing at the mouth

the lil nugget about Clerk and his fella having to be DL to avoid arrest 👀 Suzanne you’re not even hiding the allegory now. Thank you

Burdock gathering herbs for the apothecary 😭 for Asterid March… we know Katniss’s parents now

The repeated hints of 12 being the exact type of mining town that spawned riots 100 years ago… I’m gonna be listening to so much bluegrass

The Reaping being July 4th lol she is literally spelling it out for us

Woodbine was the second boy. Literally, they demand child sacrifices. I’m gonna scream.

Peeta’s dad. Otho 😭

Oh. Haymitch wasn’t even drawn. Oh. Oh.

Plutarch saves Lenore’s life? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Sid was born on the sunny side? 😭 yall gotta quit referencing Covey songs

Louella being sweetheart 😭 I cannot handle this Suzanne

Maysilee is about to serve absolute cunt isn’t she

Ohhhh shit so Plutarch is the mentor?

Oh okay no he isn’t but what exactly is his role?

Dammit Lenore why didn’t you talk to Haymitch about Lucy Gray

They fucken use victors from other districts as mentors?? Insane.

a birthday cake? that’s so fucking sick

The Raven, in the little house by the lake 😭

every time the “NO PEACE!” propos get mentioned, it churns my stomach bc it feels like a direct, intentional perversion of “no justice, no peace.” which is exactly the kinda shit an authoritarian regime like Panem or the fucken current USA would do. the allegory is gut wrenching

The Academy gymnasium as the tribute center holy fuck

omg do we get to see Tigris

WIRESS IS THEIR MENTOR??

And Mags??? 😭😭😭

Ampert is Beetee’s son??? 🥺

Louella didn’t die??? What the fuck???

Also Snow really is every abusive manchild ever, 40 years down the line and still not over the one who possibly literally got away 🙄 and the oysters? Finnick referenced that shit directly.

The foreshadowing of drowning his sorrows with the plant by a name referenced in the poem his girl got her name from

Ah. They made that poor dead child into an uncanny valley ass mutt. The parallels to Katniss’s story go crazy, like the mutts who ended the 74 Hunger Games.

Oh god no this is way worse than a lab built mutt

It was so much more than using the force field

I just wanna pause real quick bc a big standout here to me is how obvious it is not only that there is a rebellion simmering under the surface, but that it’s the same rebellion from the Dark Days. And it’s the same rebellion that comes to fruition in Mockingjay. It was always there, a living breathing part of Panem. And it wasn’t obvious to us in the first three books bc we were seeing it through the eyes of traumatized, sheltered, likely autistic with a hyper focus on survival 16 year old. Haymitch is, was more attuned to the goings on. Katniss couldn’t see the forest for the trees. (District 12 aphorism, or at least is now, from the area 12 miles would be in)

I kind of put it together a few chapters ago… But now that they’re talking about their tokens it’s more obvious. Wasn’t it implied in the original books that Maysilee‘s token was the pin? Either way, it did belong to her. 

THATS EFFIE ISNT IT

YASSS

Oh poor Lou Lou 🥺 we’ll never even know who this poor child is…

Oof not Haymitch trying to for Lou Lou something like Katniss did for Rue… the parallels go too hard. But why didn’t they attack Katniss when she did it?

Pearly white bones… Suzanne wtf 😩

Of all the heart wrenching shit in this book, it’s Maysilee telling Haymitch, “Sure, I’ll be your sister.” And him answering, “Night, Sis.” that finally made me cry 😭

Nothing they can take from you is worth keeping… insane how many Covey song references she’s sprinkled through this damn book

A sister is someone you fight with and fight for. Tooth and nail.

I need to hug my siblings rn. The one I was born with and the one I chose.

The chocolate to Silka is honestly such a fucking humanizing moment. I can see why the version Katniss and Peeta saw smash cut from Maysilee’s death straight to the final showdown…

Poor Wellie man… this might beat Cato as far as gruesome deaths illustrated in these books go

Fuck. That would’ve been a good death. I don’t want to keep reading. Because I know if we changed the story and Haymitch died right then, breaking the arena, it would’ve been his best option. I’m so sad about what comes next

THEY SHOW HIM LUCY GRAY??

Mags and Wiress 🥺💔

The Hanging Tree…

Lucy Gray’s grave omg

That epilogue destroyed me. The realization that the promise of rebellion is the only reason he didn’t kill himself, then Katniss and Peeta? 😩 I’ll have more to say later but oh my god

[trashbag-baby666]

Between Tridents and Knives-Finnick Odair

Chapter Four.

Chapter Summar: Flashback chapter to the reaping of the 74th Hunger Games!

W/C: 2,158

C/W: none?

Series Masterlist!

The Reaping For The 74th Hunger Games.

District Four.

Fawn sat down on the provided chairs for the past victors of District Four. Finnick grabbed her hand fast as she crossed one leg over the other.

Fawns stylist had her dressed in a long dark blue dress, nothing flashy but simple. Her necklace from Finnick inspired this dress, the neck was high and sleeveless.

It wasn’t cold by any means during the month of May in District Four.

But she felt cold, it was her and Finnick's year mentoring again.

Every year they held the victors at the capital for special viewing events and dinners. Not required but since Fawn and Finnick were capital jewels they had no choice.

She would usually stand at the drink table gulping down glasses of champaign, that's how she really got to know Haymitch.

“Slow down or we're gonna be similar.” Haymitch looked at his glass of whiskey and then at Fawn. At the time she couldn’t have been more than 20. She never got used to the sights of seeing children kill each other. A way that she had done about three years prior.

“Not the same,” Fawn scoffed, taking another champagne glass, “I only drink at these events.”

“Yeah that's how it starts,” Haymitch smirked, he was famously a drunken problem everywhere, sloppy, gross, a mess.

“Well if it's up to Snow I won’t end up like you.” Fawn sighed, thinking of the appearance she had to keep up.

“Ah, yes you and Finnick, the desirable ones.” Haymitch rolled his eyes and took another glass of whiskey.

Fawn wished she wasn’t a desirable victor, she’d do anything to have a normal life outside of being a victor.

“Yeah full hysterectomy done at 18. That's desirable and glamorous.” Fawn scoffed, another thing she wanted to personally slit Snow's throat for.

She didn’t want kids and made that clear to Finnick, she wasn’t risking having her children reaped for the games. But something like having a hysterectomy was a decision she wanted to make for herself instead of being forcibly mutilated by Snow.

Fawn sighed from feeling the comforting hands of Finnicks on her own as he rested their intertwined hands in his lap. Finnick had on a suit with the same colored blazer and pants with a white button up.

He knew how much Fawn didn’t want to be here, hell no one wanted to be here.

Finnick rubbed his calloused hand over hers a few times.

Then the District Four escort came onstage, Fawn never cared to remember her name. Maybe it was rude but she avoided anything capital related unless forced upon it.

As the escort began to talk Fawn shifted into the place she always went in her head when she didn’t care to be present.

She sat up a bit more straight knowing the cameras would be on them and put on her fake smile.

But inside she was thinking of their house in the victors village they shared. The smell of the ocean and breeze flowing through their house as the sounds of the waves crashing on the rocks by the beach basically in their backyard.

The thought of Finnick spinning her in the kitchen as they waited for their freshly speared fish to finish cooking.

Just them in pure bliss, but she was pulled from her thoughts as a young girl no more than 15 walked up on stage.

Her hair was a deep dark brown almost black and she was taller, her face sort of flat as she wore a monotone expression on her face. Her mouth pulled straight and her eyes dark as she waited for someone to volunteer but no one did.

Fawn found this as a regular occurrence for every child reaped, a dead expression or hysterical tears.

Fawn had even had that herself the day she was reaped, she stood on stage.

Hot flashes ran over her body as she waited for someone to volunteer but of course it never happened.

Then they moved onto the boys, Fawns ears were ringing as she watched it all play out. Finnick pulled her impossibly closer, scooting his chair closer to hers, Fawn squeezed his hand tight.

Her hands were sweating as she heard a boys name be called and a very young boy comes on stage.

His hair was red and curly and he was too young to go into these games. Fawn felt her heart pounding, she couldn’t watch these kids die. She couldn’t tell if she just wanted time to freeze or to just get up and run and keep running till she physically couldn’t. She knew those both weren’t plausible ideas so she sat there and acted as if this was morally right.

As the kids were led into the justice building they made eye contact with her and Finnick. Finnick took her hand and followed going out back to where their car waited for them. She felt numb every step she took in the uncomfortable silver heels she didn’t feel, her hand wrapped around Finnicks was her anchor from flying away into the oblivion of Panem.

Finnick helped her into the car as they always took the mentors to the train first then the tributes after their last visits with their family.

Fawn just stared straight ahead as Finnick held her tight. They got out at the train station, Fawn tried her hardest to not trip over her heels.

As they got into the train she collapsed into a chair in the den area.

“Fawn look at me,” Finnick took both her hands as she moved herself to look at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m fine.” She blinked a few times trying to recompose herself. Finnick cupped her face gently and wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. Fawn was trying to keep herself pulled together, she had to mentor these kids for three weeks knowing damn well they won’t last more than two days in the arena.

Finnick was able to keep his composure far better than Fawn could. He had been in the capitol spotlight longer and constantly spoke for the press when Fawn couldn’t.

During an interview with Caesar Finnick would cover for her plenty.

“So I heard from a little birdy that there's an engagement that happened?” Caesar leaned towards Finnick and Fawn in his chair. They were engaged but never planned to marry, something about sealing it just would make things difficult. They just wanted something to hold each other together.

“Oh yes Caesar.” Finnick spoke up, he sat next to Fawn. He was in a blouse that was the same ocean green color as Fawns long dress. An elegant ball gown with gold embroidered flowers on the bottis of the dress. The dress showed plenty of her cleavage knowing god forbid they be in the spotlight without being exploited. Fawn sat close to Finnick, their hands intertwined, “Here Fawn, why don’t you show them your ring.” Finnick looked into her eyes and offered a reassuring smile.

“Oh please,” Caesar took her hand with her ring finger on it, “Get a close up of this.” The band of the gold plated ring had a trident wrapping around one side and a knife on the other holding the big green emerald together.

“Finnick just has a knack for beautiful jewelry, he gave me this necklace when I came home from my games.” Fawn pointed towards the seashell necklace with the ocean blue heart pendant in the center.

“Well that's certainly lovely, Finnick you must have really liked her.” Caesar began driving in the romantic talk.

“Well like we said at the end of her victory tour, Caesar we are in love with each other.” Finnick smiled at Fawn then looked at Caesar.

“It was just love at first sight really, when I actually got to know him I just knew I had to be with him forever.” Fawn put on her best smile for the capital pretending that she loved them and loved her life.

They sat there silently for a moment, Finnick holding Fawns' hands. Fawn studied his ocean green eyes as she once again imagined the house on the ocean.

Finnick joined her in her fantasy, Fawn standing on the back deck looking at the ocean. The water crashing against the rocks, the feeling of Finnick's arms wrapping around her waist. The strong grip he had on her waist, the heat radiating off his hands.

Fawn was pulled from her thoughts as Nava walked in followed by the two kids.

“And this is the capital train, your mentors.” She motioned to Fawn and Finnick, they met her gaze with their lips pulled straight. Not impressed by the capitol luxuries.

Fawn felt her heart begin to beat, she could feel it in her ears. She grabbed the arms of the chairs and pushed herself up. She felt weary as her vision tunneled, she began hurrying to her room. She couldn’t mentor these kids, they were so young.

“I’m sorry, I’ll go get her.” Finnick put on his most charming smile and followed Fawn to the bedroom car.

Finnick came into their room,

Fawn had to excuse herself for a moment.

Fawn sat on the bed kicking her heels off and pulling her knees up to her chest.

Children…that’s who they were mentoring, children and it made her sick.

She knew everyone in those ‘games’ were children and not all of them stood a chance but these two…

The ones they were mentoring didn’t stand a chance. She knows she should have more faith, more trust or confidence but she can’t….more like she couldn’t it hurt too much.

When she went into her games she was different from who she is now and she knows that. But one thing that pissed her off more than anything was what they made her do after she won those ‘games’ she hates doing it and she hate’s thinking that those kids could have the same fate her and Finnick did.

Fawn sat in the bed sobbing into herself, her head between her knees the dress getting dampened by her seemingly never ending flow of tears.

She didn’t bother to look up as the door opened and Finnick stepped in.

Finnick sat down next to Fawn, she didn’t need words. He needed to just be in her presence right now.

Finnick helped her untuck herself from her ball of tears.

“I’m not ready to go back out there, Fin.” Fawn sniffed, rubbing her eyes causing makeup to smear over her cheeks. Finnick nodded and held both of her hands and kissed over her knuckles.

“That’s okay, we can just stay here for a bit.” Finnick said softly, Fawn nodded and laid down in the bed Finnick lay behind her as they cuddled into each other.

He couldn’t blame Fawn for how she was feeling they had to mentor these kids, they were just kids.

Fawn broke her silence as tears began to fall from her eyes once again, “Did you see how young they are? Why do they have to do this…it’s not fair, Fin. I hate this, this shouldn’t be anyone's fate.” Fawn cried as Finnick pulled her body closer to his. He knew these kids had absolutely no chance at winning these games. They probably wouldn’t last more than a few days.

“I know darling,” Finnick moved her hair away and kissed behind her ear. Every year they dragged out the victors and forced two of them to mentor children to their deaths.

“Let's get you cleaned up, I can’t stand these clothes.” Finnick helped Fawn up, she sighed pulling her hair away from the zipper in the back of the dress. She turned and Finnick unzipped her and she slipped out of the dress.

They took a shower and dressed in matching forest green sweaters and black pants before joining the others in the den area. Finnick held her hand and went first as they walked in. The two children turned to look at the two, they looked her in the eyes. Fawn stopped and squeezed Finnicks hand tighter, suddenly she could see everyone she loved in those eyes.

“Marina and Beck, these are your mentors, Fawn and Finnick.” Nava smiled introducing them.

“Hello,” Finnick sat on the loveseat near them. Fawn stood frozen near the doorway still. She didn’t know what to do, just stand there? Go back to her room and drink?

“Ms. Fawn, are you okay?” Beck, the young boy asked, looking at her. His eyes are a glossy blue like the ocean on a sunny day.

“Yeah,” Fawn mustered up the best smile she could muster and walked over to the love seat sitting next to Finnick. She sat so close she could basically be sitting on his lap, she just needed to know that he was there. She needed her anchor to keep her present.

[heavensbeehall]

The 50th Hunger Games

By the time we get to District 12, I'm completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of kids going to certain death.

I can't even remember the names of everyone each season of Amazing Race. The large numbers is definitely used to dehumanize the kids so you can't get attached to any one.

For 12 we have Haymitch, Maysilee, a "girl from the Seam" and no mention of the second boy. That seems pointed somehow.

Maysilee Donner bravely disengages herself and heads for the stage, I catch a glimpse of my mother at my age, and no one has exaggerated her beauty. Holding her hand and weeping is another girl who looks just like Maysilee.

Maysilee must have been the sister that Mrs Everdeen was closest too, because she never seems to interact with Madge's mother. Unless they had a falling out?

I think Mrs and Mr Everdeen must have married young and she relied on him to deal with the trauma of losing her friend, instead of actually processing it.

She and Maysilee were twins or something.

Madge's Mom and Maysilee were twins. This makes me sad. I have a twin. My sister. Madge's mom needs a Twinless Twin support group, maybe. I know those are a thing and they scare me.

When you are a twin, you kind of go into life as part of a team. It's similar to other family members or siblings. Except twins can sometimes fail to develop a sense of identity separate from ther sibling, if they do everything together and wear the same clothes and that kind of thing. (My mother was very concerned about this because she had twin friends growing up and when one got married and moved, the other had a mental breakdown.)

That could be what happened to Madge's mom. She doesn't know how to exsist as a singular individual. (Although the fact that she got married and had a kid is kind of hopeful that she did have some life outside of her sister?) It also makes sense why Maysilee would seek allies in the Arena.

everything in this pretty place--the luscious fruit dangling from the bushes, the water in the crystalline streams, even the scent of the flowers when inhaled too directly--is deadly poisonous.

Snow does love using poison. Is this whole arena a metaphor?

He arrives only in time to watch the last of a flock of candy pink birds, equipped with long, thin beaks, skewer her through the neck.

Am I the only one who thinks this is Gamemaker interference? Why did they want her dead?

[incaensio]

@fatefought sent : why are you looking at me like that ? ( hayniss )

the previous night had turned into several twists and she hasn't been able to process them entirely. of course she had been the one in charge of the last one — the tape of the second quarter quell. whatever she had imagined of it, her imagination was wrong; most of all, she had never been able to imagine haymitch abernathy as a tribute. it's irrational because everyone has to be young one day, but everytime she thought of abernathy as a young victor, she couldn't not see the mentor struck by age and decades of vice.

the eighteen year old on the screen had been nothing of the type. she doesn't think she can see that green boy on the man that sits next to her now. yes, there are the loose curls here and there (they're partially gray now, instead of pitch black), the curve of his nose, the annoying flinty look in his eye, similar to her own yet entirely his because no matter how they do look alike, haymitch's strengths and quick mind pull him apart of her.

and his poker face. none of which she is able to maintain now, as he catches her staring at him with lips pursed in thought. at once, the façade breaks, and katniss blinks, clears her throat. the anger she felt about him has dissipated throughout the night, replaced by curiosity, awe, concern. katniss everdeen hadn't struck the match. haymitch abernathy did. and she's supposed to pretend she doesn't know that she carried on the most dangerous legacy ever forged by someone from twelve? no. she wants to know more.

"i watched maysilee donner's games last night." not his. maysilee's. she has managed to shake off surprise and pity from her gaze, only blankness remaining, the usual spark in her eyes as she refuses to look away from him now. "was that the first time twelve lasted enough to hold an alliance?"

[youreyesholdgalaxies]

Was seeing Peeta in the condition he was in 13 too painful for Katniss to do?  What would have been the effects of prolonged exposure on her mental health?

Hello anon!

Great question.

I think seeing Peeta was exceedingly painful for Katniss the thought that he was like this because of her was probably overwhelming and made her so guilt-ridden that it was eating her alive at that moment.

She was also grieving the boy she had lost, a boy her brain just couldn't ever see "coming back", however, I think that withdrawing from Peeta and not seeing him was worse for her.

I don't feel like prolonged exposure would have prolonged her mental health issues because I think she would have been more knowledgeable and factual about his condition rather than catastrophizing it-which is what she did in MJ when she did withdraw. I mean look what happened once Johanna spoke to her about it-she needed to hear an outside perspective and running away didn't help her any.

"I don't want to talk about Peeta. One of the best things about training is, it keeps me from thinking about him. 'Haymitch says he's getting better,' she says. 'Maybe. But he's changed,' I say. 'So have you. So have I. And Finnick and Haymitch and Beetee. Don't get me started on Annie Cresta. The arena messed us all up pretty good, don't you think? Or do you still feel like the girl who volunteered for your sister?' she asks me. 'No,' I answer. .... Chapter 17 of Mockingjay

While Peeta was still "not himself" when thrown into combat, he was way better. Seeing that progress would have saved Katniss, in my opinion, a lot of guilt and suffering.

Katniss, regardless of what happened to Peeta, was always going to have severe PTSD (don't get me started on her having PTSD from before the games, complex PTSD if you will). Her response to hr trauma by running and withdrawing from everyone does protect her in a way, but also makes her mental health issues worse.

So yes, I think seeing him was overwhelmingly painful for her, but I think prolonged exposure would have helped rather than hurt her. I don't think she would have been unable to see Peeta, I think withdrawal was just how she always dealt with trauma and that was what she decided. Katniss, in that moment, chose to protect herself in the way she knew how-by blocking everything out and suffering alone, in a way being both selfish and selfless all in one. Katniss is young, she makes choices out of survival and from patterns of the past. But that's what makes her a complex character!

Thank you again for the ask! My ask box is always open!

[shaunashipmn]

favorite hunger games passages [26/?]

[jhsgf82]

There’s No Crying in Baseball!

For @ouateverlark​

Prompt #11:  Based on Movie “A League of Their Own” with Katniss as Dottie, Prim as Kit, Haymitch as Jimmy and Peeta as Bob. A chance to expand on the Dottie & Bob (ahem Katniss and Peeta) relationship through letter writing. Baseball hijinks. The joys of figuring out who to cast as the other players on the team. ⚾️🏟🧢💕[submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback ]

A/N: Here are a couple of snippets just to show you all that I am in good faith working on this, even though I’m being super slow about it. I’ve tweaked these two scenes from the movie (some small bits are verbatim or paraphrased and others are completely different) and attempted THG-ing them. Don’t mind my strange sense of humor, lol. Hope you enjoy this sneak peek!  

“This is our daughter Katniss,” she said in a proud tone of voice, head held high, chest poked out, extending her arm dramatically. “And this is our other daughter,” she sneered, “Katniss’s sister.” 

“He never said that!” 

“No. Maybe not exactly like that... But you’ve always been Dad’s favorite!” 

“I’m not. Why do you think that? Just because we went hunting together and you were too young? Frankly, you wouldn’t have been into it, anyway. Who was the one Dad always brought dolls and sweets home for, the one he lifted up in his arms and hugged and kissed? Not me. I was more like his pal, his partner. You were his precious daughter, his little girl.”  

“You were his precious daughter, too,” argued Prim. 

“I guess so,” muttered Katniss. 

“But you should hear how he (and everyone) talks about you,” persisted Prim. “Katniss is so capable. Katniss is so smart. Katniss is so beautiful.” 

“Oh, come on now,” Katniss had to chime in on the last one. 

“It’s true... Wish I looked like you,” Prim muttered under her breath. 

“Are you kidding me, Primrose? With your blonde hair and blue eyes? I’m as ordinary as this dirt beneath our feet compared to you.” 

“Not too ordinary to land the baker’s son.” Prim smirked. 

“Pure dumb luck. Peeta just…lost his mind there for a little bit.” 

“Lost his mind? Well, yeah. Ever since he was 5. He’s been a goner for you since then!” Prim grinned cheekily. “Or so I hear tell.”  

Katniss’s cheeks flushed. Even after all this time, thoughts of Peeta could still do that to her. 

They walked on together. 

“Well, Rye Mellark likes you,” Katniss deflected.  

Prim spun around and nastily scowled at her. “Rye Mellark is one step up from dating a pig!”

Katniss pressed her lips together, stifling a laugh. “But an important step.” 

Prim scoffed. “Yeah right. It’s obvious you got the good Mellark of the bunch.” 

I did, Katniss thought to herself. 

“And it’s obvious that I will never have what you and Peeta have.” 

“I didn’t know you wanted that.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe I do!” Prim kicked at the dirt. 

“Oh. Okay. Sorry.” They continued walking, in silence for a minute or two, until Prim broke it. 

“Besides,” muttered Prim, “if I married Peeta’s brother that’d be too weird. Like…incest or something.” 

Katniss gaped as if shocked by Prim’s statement, and then they both burst into peals of laughter. 

It would be pretty weird. 

*** “Katniss bought her for me,” said Prim proudly, and Katniss couldn’t help but smile. Even if there was constant tension between them due to Prim’s jealousy, that had been a special, unforgettable moment between the two of them. Prim had been sick, and Katniss had wanted to do something nice for her. So, she’d bought her the goat. She’d even placed a pink bow on her, and Prim had been overjoyed. That day, Katniss had been the hero big sister.  

“Well, what’s its name, then?” asked the scout. 

Although Katniss could tell he was just feigning interest, teasing them, even, Prim answered, “Lady. Her name is Lady.”  

“Aww, how adorable,” the scout snarked. 

Prim one-arm shrugged as she continued milking Lady, the milk squirting into the pail with little ping-pings. The scout, Heavensbee, was cringing the entire time. 

Clearly a city boy. 

“Doesn’t that hurt it?” he asked, still making a face. 

Katniss glanced over at Prim’s hands on Lady’s udders, then back at the scout. “Doesn’t seem to.” 

“Well, it’d bruise the hell out of me!” 

Katniss rolled her eyes. “First of all, the goat is female. And second, those are udders, not tes-” She cut herself off, her glance flitting to the side.  

“Oh, can’t you say it?” Heavensbee guffawed. “Didn’t you say you were a married woman? I think you can say the word test‒” 

“Don’t.” Katniss held up her hand, cutting him off. “We are ladies.” 

Plutarch Heavensbee was smirking at them. “Really? Coulda fooled me!” 

Katniss scowled at the scout, then stood up. She didn’t know what she planned to do exactly, not hit the guy‒she was brought up better than that, and what would Peeta think?‒but she didn’t want this stranger, this intruder on their farm to think he could talk to her that way. She took a couple of steps forward, crossed her arms and squinted at him menacingly. 

“Alright, alright,” said Plutarch, holding up his hands plaintively. “I didn’t mean to get your knickers in a twist. Just, ya know, observing that the two of you could use a little…grooming. And perhaps a bath.” He muttered the last part under his breath, wrinkling his nose up in disgust. 

Katniss glared over at him. She was seriously reconsidering hitting him, but again, she thought of Peeta. He’d have the perfect thing to say rather than resorting to physical violence. 

Okay, so she’d try words. 

“Yeah, well, we work on a farm. With animals. What did you expect? We can’t all be stuck up, rich, fancy city boys.” 

Heavensbee laughed. “You’ve got spunk, darlin’. Spunk and talent. And that’s why I’m gonna give you the shot of a lifetime.”   

[countrymusiclover]

10 - The New Mentors

(Gif not mine. Belongs to @starkswaters

Part 11

Victor's Daughter

"Ladies and Gentlemen may I present the Victor's of the 74th annual Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeeen and Peeta Mellark!" The mayor of District 11 announced as the peacekeepers outside opened the doors allowing them through. I stand behind him seeing the faces of Rue's family nearly already in tears. Twisting the fabric of my shirt the pair stepped up to the microphone with Effie's prepared cards to stick too.

Peeta starts to read the cards but puts them down thinking of his own words to honor their fallen citizens. He turned to leave but Katniss stepped up to the microphone sucking in a breath. "I just wanted to say that I didn't know Thresh. I only spoke to him once. He could've killed me and instead he showed me mircey. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay..." She trailed off looking to Rue's poster. "I did know Rue. She wasn't just my Allie, she was was my friend. I see her in the flowers that grow in the medow outside my house. I hear her mockingly song. I see her in my sister Prim. Who was too young, too gentle, and I couldn't save her...I'm sorry."

An elderly man raises three fingers in the air singing the mockingly song. Seconds after the rest of the crowd followed. The peacekeepers draw their weapons as I whipped my head Peeta's direction. Katniss tried to walk forward seeing them pulling the man from the crowd, but two peacekeepers hold her back. I started running forward but a peacekeepers grabbed me around the waist holding me back. I thrash around seeing the other two put the man on his feet in front of the people of his district. Peeta gets shoved inside as I'm pulled inside. Katniss is the last one thrown inside seeing a gun get drawn. Gunfire is heard. Katniss started to charge back outside but my father grabs her. She thrashed against him where he has to yell at her, tightening his grip around her waist. "Stop it, stop, stop it!" I run forward but a peacekeepers grabs my arms where I try kicking him but he throws me to the floor. My father yanks me up by my right arm warning me. "Come on, don't do that."

"You two have a very simple task." He grumbled dragging us up the stairs and into a closed room. Yanking my arm from his I huffed bawling my hands into fists wanting to punch a dang peacekeepers right now. "Snow came to see me. He's worried about rebellion in the district's. He says they don't believe our love story." Katniss mumbled in a shacky breath. "So he wants you to make them believe it?" My father questioned before Peeta raised his voice at her. "You should've told me that before I tried to go out there and give people their money!" She whipped her head to him tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. He threatened to kill my family-" He cuts her off shouting directly in her face. "Well I have family too. Okay, people that I need to protect!" My father throws his hands up, throwing his hair around. "What about them. Who protects them!" He brushes his hair behind his ear with his left hand. "Katniss, what were you thinking?" Katniss started crying, her voice shaking as she spoke to him. "I was thinking about Rue. Haymitch please, please, please just help me get through this trip. Just help us get through this..."

He snapped his fingers at her words. "This trip, girl wake up. This trip doesn't end when you get back home. You never get off this train. You two are mentors now. That means that every year they're gonna drag you out and broadcast the details of your romance. Every year your private life becomes there's. From now on your job is to be a distraction. So people forget what the real problems are." Peeta looks to him for advice like in the games. "So what do we do?" He turned to the baker boy explaining. "You're gonna smile. You're gonna read the cards that Effie gives you. And you're gonna live a happily ever after." Katniss sniffed shaking her head yes right when I see the peacekeepers dragging the elderly dead man off somewhere. I croaked out in tears running straight for my father sobbing. "Daddy..." He instantly wrapped his arms around me. Running one of his hands through my hair until Peeta broke his comforting hug with Katniss. "What a second. Did you just say, daddy?" My father eyed the boy as I bury my face in his shirt, staining it with my tears not caring that they didn't know. "We'll explain on the train..." He responded focusing back on me, brushing his fingers through my hair. "Sssh it's going to be okay. I'm here, sweetheart." He whispers into my ear wishing this wasn't the life you had to live with.

The train zoomed down the track as I stepped into the living room wearing a blue sweatshirt and grey pants. My hair wavy from being in braids all day. Peeta and Katniss are sitting on the long couch watching me sit down in a side chair beside my father. He sits his drink down on the table in front of the four of us slowly breathing out. "I'm not sure how to put this..." Katniss crossed her arm over her chest leaning back on the couch. "How about the fact that you lied to the both of us for our whole lives. I mean come on Y/n, you lied to Prim and your supposed to be her best friend." My gaze falls to my feet playing with my fingers. Peeta points his index finger at us. "Katniss, wait a second. We shouldn't judge them without knowing the whole story." My father gave him a small smile as we then explained everything to them until it got really late where they went to bed. Laying on my bed with my hands behind my head the door slid open having my father walk in. I scoot over having him lay down beside me silence filled the room until I broke it.

"How did you feel when you're family was...killed?" I mumbled staring up at the ceiling with the train hitting the tracks. He shifted holding himself up by his left elbow. "I don't think you should know about that honey." I rolled over staring into his eyes. "I wanna know about mon...will Katniss and Peeta be able to handle what you went through?" He sighs heavily running his other hand through his hair. "I'll tell you more about your mother tomorrow. For now I just want to keep you safe." I simply nodded laying my head on his chest where he draped an arm over. I closed my eyes hoping that I wouldn't dream of the district 11 guy getting shot right in front of me. Haymitch stared down at you as you fell asleep. He wasn't sure how or if he would ever have the strength to tell you about his family or about your mother. No matter how many years went by for him it was still a constant nightmare. He reaches into his pocket revealing a small knife, clutching it underneath the blankets after he pulled them over the two of you. "Rest easy Maya, my love. I'll never leave her side." He mumbled in a yawn trying to sleep some even though it wouldn't last through the whole night.

Hi readers, I've got a question. Should they're be more flashbacks of a young Haymitch?

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[kahlanmars]

PAPER RINGS part. 10

Hiii! I really appreciate your likes and comments <3

MASTERLIST

10. Take me home

You can’t sleep so much that night. You watch over Lora most of the time, wrapped in a blanket, and she opens her eyes suddenly. She is scared, like she is in the games again, and you can recall many times you did the same, waking up exhausted and terrified because in your mind you are in the arena again. Effie and Haymitch lull you for hours when it happens, but she is recovering swiftly. You are sad she had to get used to the episodes, like Haymitch when he was a boy, because you don’t picture Chaff as a guy that cuddles you in the time of need. He can’t. He has his demons to deal with.

«Ehi kiddo.» You try to sweeten your voice not to scare her more. You feel exhausted too and you caught yourself looking over your shoulders a few times in the night. 

«Where am I?» She asks, and she looks so lost. She is adorable but you don’t feel like she would have the same idea.

«Effie’s house. She is at Portia’s.» Effie has been a real saint about this. 

«Hi.» Lora is fully awake now, you know that because you watched her all night. She goes on and off with the naps but she is never fully awake.

«Hi, Sweetheart.» You hear yourself and you chuckle in embarrassment, because you clearly spend too much time with your boyfriend. «Are you feeling better?»

«A little. Have I scared everyone?»

«Just me and Haymitch, and Effie later. We can keep it between us.»

«I’m so sorry, I felt so lost. So guilty.»

«We are not mad at you, I’m not mad at you. I just always forget you are nineteen.»

«I miss my family.» She whispers and you can understand only partly. You still have your mother, even if she is far away, and despite you being an orphan you have never felt completely alone in your life. You remember Lora’s family from the reaping videos. She had a little brother, both her parents, a grandmother. And now she doesn’t have anyone because Snow bombed district Eleven after bombing district Twelve. Eleven was the major ally during the revolution. Rue was never forgotten. 

«I know. I miss my district. And I know we are not your family, but if you want you can stay with us.» Every word seems wrong, but also it’s not possible to shut up. You are not really good at this. 

«Effie has been beyond generous, and I just feel so rude. I don’t want to impose myself.» You shake your head.

«I didn’t mean with Effie, I meant with us. Me and Haymitch, if you want I can ask him. He won’t say no, he can’t say no to kids in need. He is the adoptive father of a thousand children.» You hope he won’t say no, you hope you are not making it up. You think you know your soon to be husband.

«But you two are so pretty together and… I would ruin it.» You can’t lie to yourself, you thought that too when Perla and Cinna decided to take her in. But now you get it, you get why she decided it. And your house is bigger than the ones in the city, you still will have plenty of space.

«What? No, we will always be pretty, you can’t ruin anything. Just think about it, okay?»

She smiles, but it doesn’t reach the eyes and she tortures her fingers. She is covering herself with a white blanket, maybe she is still a bit in shock. You are not a therapist, you don’t know those things. Maybe she is just tired, exhausted. 

«I just thought that after the war I would have had a goal in my life. I wanted to live so bad, and you have all found a place in this world. Perla is thriving in this life and her new job, you are always working in that big office with Portia, and Effie has a job in the bank now. I can’t find anything and I don’t have a purpose.»

This is so wrong. You shouldn’t live to have a purpose, you should live to enjoy things. But a thought like this is not practical, and you are trying to be practical.

«You are young.» You try nonetheless.

«People in my district…»

«People in your district didn’t go through the Hunger Games!» You protest, «You have been a soldier. Haymitch always says we are survivors, and even if he doesn’t think of it like a positive thing, we are. You were in the hospital for a while, you need time! Time to figure out what you want to do in life, but also time to understand who you are. Not the Lora who is worried about others' expectations and what she should be doing, the other Lora, the one who is free. Because you are free now.»

You are so caught in your speech that you don’t watch her, and when you see her eyes they are full of tears. «Can I really stay at your house for a while?»

«Yes. We will ask Haymitch, but if he doesn’t want to we still have plenty of empty houses in the victor’s village. We can stay in Twelve.» You promise, and you are rewarded with a very big hug.

Finnick is in his room, which is the guest’s room. He is not so much of a guest now, he has been in the Capitol for a while. You need to thank him so much, you always need to thank him. He saved your life so much you lost count of it, he never asked for anything in return - well you did kill Caius for her, but he didn’t know it.

«How did Annie react?» You want to know, a dagger of guilt in your chest. That magazine didn’t do much harm to you, because Haymitch has been in the game for a while and he knows when something is not true. He didn’t think for a second you could have cheated on him with Finnick, and he doesn’t care much for public humiliation. He had a charade as an old disgusting drunk for a decade.

Annie is completely another thing. She is strong, she knows the Capitol’s game and she knows how to handle those problems, she loved Finnick through his horrible life, when he was sold as a prize. But for her it has always been the truth, a truth he didn’t want, but the truth. And now she thinks she is finally free, after the war, after being captured by Snow and the torture, her and Finnick are married, monogamous and happy. 

She must have hated being under the spotlight again.

«She got it. She doesn’t doubt me, or you by the way. She likes you. She particularly liked the clothes you sent Finn.» That makes you happy. You don’t know her that much, in Thirteen you were a little more worried about not being charged for murder than making new friends, but she seems so sweet. You remember her from the games and after, when everyone thought she couldn’t last for long. And yet, with a little help from Mags and Finnick, she stayed alive. She fought all her problems and she won. 

«I love sewing clothes for babies, it was a pleasure.» You sit near to him on his bed and you rest your head on his shoulder. «You know, since I’ve been in this damn town all my friends have had problems, but you… are you all right? You seem all right.»

But Perla also seemed all right and she definitely was not, she just didn’t feel like talking about it. And if you didn’t show up unannounced at home one day, you couldn’t have surprised Effie crying on the sofa. So it’s better to be safe than to be sorry.

«I am, Dai. I really am fine for the first time in years.» Okay, now you are safe. Not because of his words, but the smile he has is genuine.

«So I should not be worried about you.»

«No, but… you shouldn’t be worried about any of us, I think you have some problems too.» That’s preposterous. Everyone has problems, but he saved your life twice if not three times, Effie offered you a home when you didn’t have one, Portia bought you what you needed and Perla and Lora always listened to you. 

«Well yes, but I manage well. And I have Haymitch.» Your voice gets softer. Since you two made up everything looks better. 

«Yeah, speaking of him, is everything okay between you two? I don’t like when he makes you cry.»

«He is a good man, Finnick. He just can’t communicate much.» And you hate how you feel when you defend him. You always sound to yourself like he is awful and you are just hiding it, but you are telling the truth, he is a horrible talker and he has his flaws and yet he is one of the best people you ever met.

«I know he is a good man, he helped me a lot when I was a young victor, but I just can’t help but worry for you. And you usually have a hard time asking him anything.»

«Yeah but he gets it.»

«He didn’t, this time.» He deadpans.

«He has been wonderful for two years. We had a fight, but he came for me. I’m happy.» And you really are. 

«As long as you are happy.» He doesn’t seem very convinced by it, but he lets it go, which is a good sign. 

You look at him. Your friend. The handsome man on the television is one of your best friends now. And he is a father, he is missing his son too much. At that age you go out for two weeks and yours is another child. 

«You should return home. Finn must miss you so much, and Annie is alone with a lot of work.» You resonate. And you can see he wants to go home but he is worried.

«Tigris and Mags are with her.» You snort. You met Tigris twice, and she is wonderful, a true force of nature, but she is eighty, older than President Snow when he was alive. Mags is lovely, but life put her on a tough path. 

«Tigris and Mags are ancient. You helped me so much, Finnick Odair, and I love you, but you miss them too.» 

«I love you too. Are you sure that everything is okay?» He takes your hand and squeezes it. 

«Very sure.» 

He gets up, and you too. Maybe he will take the train tomorrow, or the day after, and you enjoyed the time you two had together. Well, maybe it could have been better without three days of uninterrupted crying, but it has been good.

«So it's goodbye.»

You shake your head. «Not for long! You and Annie will come to the runway, right? And for my wedding.»

«Wedding. Daisy Pinecone, a bride.»

«Daisy Pinecone Abernathy, please.»

«Weird. I hope you won’t mind if I dress in white.»

«You stupid boy.» You laugh, but you don’t mind when he pulls you in a hug. You don’t want to cry, because in two or three months you will see him again, and you can always spend the holidays in District Four with him and Perla. 

«Oh and you are marrying a man.»

«Stop pestering me! I will miss you.»

«I will miss you too, Dai.»

You are exhausted when you come back home, but when you see Haymitch standing in front of the kitchen, making some tea, you hug him from behind. His strong hands… This piece of man is all yours. And he is beyond generous, a good person, and it doesn’t hurt that he is so attractive.

«Hi, my love.» You lean on him, and you dare smack his butt. 

He turns around and smirks against your lips. «Hi, pervert almost wife.»

«You misspelt “Perfect”.» You really want to deadpan his joke, but you watch him and you feel immediately more relaxed. A rising of love. «Thank you.»

«For what?» He raises an eyebrow. 

«For being the best boyfriend ever?» You really can’t believe how good he is. He took care of Lora without thinking twice, in his style: no words, just facts. He shut up and handled the situation without making a fuss, because she is a child in need and he has a soft spot for children in need, either human or cats.

«What happened?» And of course he is still paranoid. If you thank him, it must be because you have a terrible disease, or something really bad happened and he doesn’t know that yet, not because you love him and you want to show him. What’s to love, after all? He is not big on confidence. The only thing he is sure about is his intelligence, and you are aware he is suffering from the alcohol recovery. The brain is still there in all his glory and he is still a freaking genius, but sometimes he is slower than before.

«Nothing.» You kiss his shoulder. «I just missed you a little. Plus, you have a very nice ass.»

«A little?» He catches you in his arms, lifting his eyebrows. He deepens his voice for the scene and you have to stop yourself from kissing the hell out of him again, because his voice makes you feel like you are about to combust. «A little?!»

«A lot! A lot!» You try to yell but it doesn’t matter. He throws you over his shoulder and he drags you on the couch.

He takes you in his arms and he places a rather chaste kiss on your neck. You hum in pleasure, so happy you almost purr. This place, you being in his arms on a couch without any close danger, any revolution or Capitol City and Snow watching you like a hawk. You are still full of problems and nightmares and sometimes you feel like you are still in the eye of the storm, but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

«I love you so much, Mr. Abernathy.» You whisper against his ear and then you kiss him, his tongue fighting with yours in a sweet battle.

«I love you too, Sweetheart. I was thinking…» He tries, but you interrupt him.

«Did it hurt?» You joke, your eyes sparkling. He always says things like that to Effie, and sometimes you return the favour. But you also want to reassure him, so before he could do anything you kiss his cheek and mutter «Man with a big brain.»

He smiles at you, but he does the expression he always does when he wants to be serious. «We can take care of the kiddo.»

You were going to ask him, maybe after a dinner with candles, a nice dress and some steamy sex, but you didn’t expect him to volunteer. But after the discussion you two had a few days ago, you are not sure he can handle it. 

«Are you sure? You don’t like people and-» And sometimes, just sometimes, he wants to do something but he can’t. He spends days in the bed because he can’t deal with sunlight, people and he trembles too much for his liking. Katniss and Peeta are used to it and they respect you enough to let you mother them a bit, just to check if they have had an episode and if they eat, but with Lora it’s different. Lora is your friend, and you are not sure you have that kind of relationship.

«She is just a year older than Katniss. And I would want someone to take care of her if I was dead.»

You used to forget she is little. She is very young. You bite your lips, not very sure of what is best to do. You want Lora, but are you really that far from Chaff? Chaff is not capable of taking her because he has an alcohol problem, he is severely traumatised. And you are not? And Haymitch is not? You are not ready for a child, but you are ready to take care of Lora?

«You really wouldn’t mind? I know you wanted your privacy.»

And he wanted some time of his own! And now you are taking an almost teenager to his house. Well, not his house, you just had a big conversation about that not being just his house, your house too.

«Ours is a big house, and District Twelve will be good for her.»

You snort. «You think District Twelve would be good for everybody.»

But it would be. She needs some time to think without pressure, and Twelve it’s just the right place. You can work and you can smell the air, you can press pause to your worries for a while. It was good for you for six months and you miss it. And Eleven is not far, if she has an aunt or an uncle, or she wants to visit Chaff, or she simply wants to go home, she can do it quickly.

«Because it would. You, for example, are a district Twelve girl and you came out pretty good, mh?» He looks at you like he wants to ravish you. He watches your legs, your cleavage, he ogles you without shame and you just have to stop and take his face in your hand to kiss him with heath. 

«”Pretty good”? Is that how you want to talk about your future wife?» You raise your eyebrow, trying to look imperturbable. You are not. He is so hot, it’s not your fault.

«My cocky wife doesn’t need her ego stroked.» He whispers on your lips.

«I hope you won’t think you’ll have something else stroked then.»

He chuckles and he leans his forehead to connect it with yours. «Nobody believes in your sex strikes, babe.»

«I wonder why!» You laugh, but he is the one with his hands on your back. «Can I ask Lora, then? If she wants to come with us?»

«Yeah. Plus, we colonised Effie’s house enough. Me and the kiddo can go home and you will come on the weekends.»

You don’t want him to leave. You don’t like the city, you don’t like living without him and you don’t want to burden him with Lora alone. You will miss Effie, but he is right: you are bothering her. She is too classy and polite to tell you, but she is becoming insufferable and she has every reason to be. It’s her home, she wants to stay in with Portia, to fool around, and she is embarrassed. 

«Haymitch…» You whisper.

He strokes your hair and puts a kiss on your head, and he makes you smile for these little caresses. «Do you want me to stay? We can book a hotel or something.»

You shake your head. You don’t want to stay in Capitol City anymore. You thought it was a great city full of opportunities for you, and maybe it is but you want your home now. Six months were enough.

«I want to go home too. The Capitol is not for me, I thought it was, but it’s not.»

You thought he would have jumped in joy, but he stares at you for a moment, confused and conflicted. «But you are good at what you do.»

«I am! I finally am, and I’ll come back on the weekends and for the meetings with Portia. And occasionally I think I’ll come for sleepovers with Effie and Perla too, but I miss my home.»

He relaxes. He hates the Capitol, but he doesn’t want you to give up on your dreams. 

«Come back, then.»

«Would that be like losing?» He lifts you up and you wrap your legs on his hips. He immediately hugs you back.

«Oh, sweetheart no… you learned so much. You just don’t like this hell of a place, that’s only sane of you.» He places small kisses on your neck. «You spent your whole life in Twelve, and when you came here you were a celebrity. Now you are experiencing the real city for the first time, and if you didn’t like it, I respect it. I don’t like it either.»

«I love you.» You whisper, «I love you because you get what I want, and I love you because you are the most generous man alive, and I love you because you are willing to take care of Lora...» 

He stops you, smacking your ass, and you giggle, completely in love. You cage him in a big kiss. 

«Come on, stop. I kinda want you to come home.» He confesses, when the need for air is unbearable.

«You want to?»

«Yeah, I can’t wait.» He murmurs in your ear like it’s a big secret.

«I can't wait to be home. Do you think I could rent a laboratory or an office in the village? I could work there and then come here to collaborate with Portia.»

«I think it's a good idea.» 

«Well, maybe Portia hates my sketches and I’ll never make the fashion show with her and Cinna.» You smile, trying to hide the fear.

You go to the office with a lot of drawings and a heart that pumps too hard for your own good. You are not scared by Portia anymore, but nonetheless you don’t want her to think you are not good at your job. These months have not been the greatest or the easiest of your life, but you have one thing more than before: now you believe you are a good stylist. Not the best, you still have a lot to learn but you remember when you wanted to come back because you didn’t feel like you belonged there. Maybe you don’t belong in the city, maybe the Capitol is not good for you but the job is. You want to create with the fabric, you crave to make your own designs and patterns and dresses. You just want to do that in District Twelve.

«Portia?» You call her when she arrives, and you hand her the coffee you bought her. «Can I talk to you for a second?»

«Of course.» She spots the drawings on your desk, way happier than before because of the cup she has on her nail polished hands. «Are these…?»

«Yes.» Your voice trembles a little, and it’s stupid, you have been working with the woman for six months now, you fought with her in a revolution, she is not supposed to make you feel scared. And yet you fear her judgement.

«Come.»

You understand this is Portia’s great comeback and you don’t want to ruin it for her. She is a great stylist, and she works with Cinna, so it’s like making a cupcake with a chef. The cupcake might be cute and sweet and a welcomed snack, but it’s not gourmet. But you are also District Twelve, which means the last one who has to go. You are quite sure Portia will be the very last, maybe with a Capitol dress or another idea, but Twelve is expected to be flawless since it’s the district of the revolution. 

«First of all, I want to thank you again for the opportunity.»

«Well it’s not just for you, I mean… You are good and I want my runway to be the best.»

With a bit of fear - a lot of fear - you show her your sketches. You drew a lot, but then you chose your best ones for Portia and the others are in your bag, just in case she doesn’t like the first ones. 

The first is a green long dress, meant for a thick fabric for winter, with bell sleeves and a pleated skirt, embroideries of black flowers, a reminder of the mines. The second a summer one, an orange one, like a sunset in the meadow, with an asymmetrical circle skirt and bishop sleeves, a white ribbon under the nape.

And the third one is…

«A flower.»

You didn’t mean it like a daisy, it’s an empire waist dress, it starts with a celeste, then a light green, yellow and light pink on the top. They are very pastel colours, but you imagined a dress that a kid from the district wants for a ball like this. Colours and a princess vibe. You surely wanted it.

«So what do you think?» You ask, a little nervous.

«I like them. They have mistakes, but they are good. I want them.»

You breathe for the first time in an hour. «So I can make them.»

«Yes you can and you should. We have a month.» Of course you started them, but you have to finish. «And it’s not going well, by the way. Not many people want to connect themselves with us.»

«Rebels?» You try.

«Yes, that too.» The way she smiles at you, like she is very ashamed of what she is thinking, tells you that the rebel part is not the important one.

«Districts.» You assume.

«Models don’t want to work with us and sponsors are not answering our calls. This is a bit of an impasse.»

You look at her, that disappointed look, and you have an idea. It’s not a nice idea. It’s an idea that will give you trouble. 

«Would you trust me?» Would you trust a condoned murderer? Just one is the right answer. But Portia gives the other one.

«Yes?»

«Good! Then give me half a day. And a Perla!» 

«Perla?» She is unsure now, and rightfully so.

«Yes, I’ll need Perla.» You quickly stand up and you take your bag, because if you stop and you think about it - or worse, if you talk about it with someone - you will change your mind. 

And Perla needs to vent some anger.