#knows better she KNOWS what it means that peetas gonna volunteer to protect her. and he does 😪

[shaunashipmn]

favorite hunger games passages [26/?]

[mcmactictac]

Hello hello I was randomly thinking about this as I was at work and I’m finally getting a chance to write it this is gonna be a long one folks buckle up today we’re talking about the hunger games, and specifically the “love triangle”

I’ve watched/read the series throughout various points in my life and my opinions have always changed slightly as I grow older and gain more knowledge. I personally see Katniss as aro/ace, I think it makes sense for her character. I’m not really qualified to talk about that but I have seen some people in that community do a wonderful job explaining it. So with that in mind I’m looking at this through a more practical lense, who compliments her personality and needs best.

Now I have always stood by that at the very beginning of the series, Gale and Katniss made sense. They were on the same wave length, they survived off each other and made good sense. If they had actually decided to run off before the games, they would have worked. But as soon as Katniss comes back from the games, it all goes to shit. Because she’s no longer on that wavelength with Gale. He doesnt understand and he never will. And during the games Peeta was the person she “survived” off of. Yes she carried them but they were in it together for a while you know?

Now she doesn’t really trust Peeta yet. I mean yeah she likes him, she put in the effort to help him but she doesn’t have that connection she had with Gale at the start. And you have to keep in mind that the games were really not that long. Katniss and Peeta hadn’t spent that much time together before the games ended. So although they are intensely bonded out of trauma and necessity, once shes out of that situation she tries to detach. But you can’t go back to how it was before. Suddenly you’ve killed people and you almost died and you lost people and it’s intensely traumatic. Katniss never wanted to show off, it was all about practicality and survival. And you come back different than before, with the guy you spent so much time with interpreting your actions wrong. He wants conflict. He invites it for the “greater good”. Katniss really doesn’t want to cause more fighting. She has already fought enough. And Peeta is the only other person (besides Haymitch) who knows what the games are really like. And her and Peeta will always share that burden together.

Like Katniss, Peeta never wants conflict. He’s smart and he can get what he wants in other ways. Without him admitting his crush on Katniss in the first book, he likely would have died. He can get closer to what he wants without hurting people. He only volunteered in the Quarter Quell to protect Katniss, not because he wanted to go in and prove something. He fully intended to die so that she can live. He’s fiercely loyal and understands in a way no one else ever could. Even after mockingjay, at his core those qualities are still there.

Gale is a raging fire full of heat and passion, Peeta is the gentle warmth of a fireplace. Gale leads with practicality and Peeta leads more with his heart. Gale is the sharp sting of wind on a winter morning as it freezes your skin, Peeta is the warmth of natural sunlight in the summer. For a long time, Gale guaranteed safety. But after the games, that wasn’t true anymore and especially after Mockingjay with Prim. Gale is 100% responsible for that. In a war situation, it’s a good move. A really really low blow, but effective and he knew that. He spends so much time wrapped in his anger and his determination to do what’s right he loses his empathy along the way.

Katniss wants safety. She doesn’t want to fight, she doesnt want to run anymore. Gale can’t give her the stability, the safety, the comfort that she so desperately needs. But Peeta can. He’s going through the exact same thing. “Choosing” Peeta promises stability snd understanding. Not having to fight. Just enjoy the peace and simplicity. Peeta makes sense because Gale is never going to understand her. She’s always going to feel isolated around him.

Peeta understands. He’s connected to her through their history, and they grew and changed together. Gale and Katniss grew apart as Peeta and Katniss grew together. At the end of the series the only “choice” for her is Peeta because she doesn’t trust Gale anymore. He isn’t safe, he isn’t the more peaceful life she wants anymore. He evolved and wants something different, and their values don’t line up any more. Peeta provides the soft warmth and compassion she needs.

That being said she doesn’t NEED anyone. But she does a shit job taking care of her own mental health, and Peeta would be able to help her with that in ways Gale can’t. Post everything, Peeta is a better support than Gale, despite Peeta being unstable himself.

That being said I was a Gale fan the first time I read the books like years ago but the older I get the more it’s like. They’d never work. They aren’t the same people they were at the start. After Katniss comes back from the first games they were never going to work because Gale was always focused on moving the revolution aspect forward, and not on the fact Katniss was in severe mental distress.

Katniss is perfectly capable of providing for herself, but she needs someone to support her emotionally as she works through her trauma. Peeta is the only person who can do that by the end because he’s the only one who understands and that she trusts. That’s all!!

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA HUNGER GAMES AU:

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the books/films) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, murder, human experimentation, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy AND The Hunger Games, this will be fine for you.)

(Katniss) Allison doesn’t want to be here, but she wasn’t just gonna let Ray be taken from her by a stupid punishment meant for her great-grandparents. She resolves to win the Games for Ray, so she can make it back to him and they can start their lives together in a better place. But when she wins, her life is changed in ways she never could’ve anticipated.

(Peeta) Luther won a few years ago. He’s Allison’s age, but lives up in Victor’s Village, hiding from the rest of the District. She’s the only one who’s seen him in years, as she brings him food and supplies from town as one of her jobs. She’s fallen in love with him, and he with her, and when she goes to the Games, Luther begins to work with Ray to find and aid the rebellion, hoping to bring her home alive.

(Gale) Ray has understood the tragedy of the Games far better than most others since he was very little. He was chosen when he was twelve, but his sister volunteered for him and died in the last rounds of the Games. He’s been dreaming of running away ever since, writing his pamphlets and letters in hopes of stirring up a revolution, and when Luther approaches him for help, he thinks it might just finally work. He just hopes he doesn’t lose Allison, who he’s been planning on marrying since the day he met her, now that she’s volunteered for him too. Too many people love him, he thinks, and too much.

(Rue) Claire is a young girl Allison makes friends with during her Games, taking on a motherly role to her. Claire is struck down by another tribute, Patrick, and Allison killed him, but not before Claire is already too far gone. Allison holds her as she dies and joins the revolution, eventually, in her name.

(Prim) Vanya fell in love with Sissy a long time ago. Her husband died in the coal mines, and Vanya has been a nanny and second mother to her adopted son Harlan ever since. When Harlan is chosen, Vanya volunteers in his place, knowing she’ll die. Imagine her surprise when Allison saves her with a scheme about sisterly love.

(Johanna) Lila was one of the younger victors, known for seeming meek and eventually murdering over half her fellow tributes to win. She went mad with grief and rage after the Games, and only Diego, her beloved brother who she volunteered for, could calm her. Eudora is her lover, though they keep it exceptionally quiet, and she’s incredibly close with Five, though they’ll never be self-sacrificial for one another, as it breaks their agreement to respect each other as warriors. Lila’s ready to murder Reginald for what he did to her family - but first she wants to murder the Handler, who’s kept her on a leash for years by threatening Diego’s life.

(Finnick) Eudora is a victor, and the capital’s darling. She’s quite daring and charming, and seeks to help and mentor every tribute she can, not just those from her District. She, Diego, and Lila, a victor she mentored and later her lover, were childhood friends and were all possible contenders for the Games, though Diego never participated despite being Reaped twice because both Eudora and Lila volunteered for him. She considers Diego a brother, and ensures he is safe when his rebellion threatens his life. She is the hero of the revolution, and eventually takes over as President of Umbrellacademy (Panem) after the war is won.

(Snow) Reginald is the President of Umbrellacademy, and is hated by every District. Five has tried multiple times to kill him, but Reginald has escaped his murderous clutches every time. With each attempt, Reginald has locked Five away in a pitch-black room deep beneath the ground for days or weeks on end with only food and water as signs of life. Because of this, Five is distrusting and angry and doesn’t show loyalty to those if he can help it, yet is terrified of being alone. (Five is, however, the one who executes Reginald in the end. Because he goddamn deserves to.)

(Coin / Dr. Gaul) The Handler runs the Commission (District 13), a former District bombed into nothing in the first war. Five became her ally when he won, but soon realized she held nothing but contempt for the people of the Districts just like Reginald, and escaped from her. She keeps a tight grasp on Lila, who she knows was Five’s ally and friend, and works even harder towards her goal of taking over Umbrellacademy and ruling the lands for herself. In the end, Lila kills her when she gives her an ultimatum: choose unfathomable power and riches and kill Five, or choose Five and die by his side. Lila gives her a sad look and plunges her sword into the Handler’s heart wordlessly, gathering Five to her chest.

(Haymitch) Five has been bitter and angry since his victory, which occurred in the first quarter quell. His District chose him overwhelmingly, voting for him to be in the Games because he offered to give up his life for their children by being the tribute, knowing he could win. The trouble came when his fellow tribute Dolores, an unwanted, became his ally and friend, eventually sacrificing herself for him. One of her snakes bit him and the venom made him ageless, so he’s looked thirteen for forty-five years. He helps run the resistance, eventually leading it as the war worsens and they lose more and more people. Because of Dolores, he does not allow anyone to get too close to him, but is kind and loyal to anyone he does choose to hold his favor - Lila, Diego, Klaus, Allison, Luther, Vanya, and Ben. Though he’s gone mad from his traumatic experiences and time alone, he’s still one of Umbrellacademy’s most treasured citizens, and lives celebrated as a war hero by every survivor comes the war’s end.

(Effie) Klaus travelled to the Capitol when he was seventeen after his lover Dave volunteered for him in District 12. Horrified, Klaus followed him as a stowaway on the train, earning Five’s respect and protection. When Dave died, Klaus was devastated, and turned to drinking and partying to drown his woes. He works for the resistance with Five, but keeps his persona so bubbly and aloof nobody would ever suspect him of being even nearly as smart as he is. He’s found ways to manipulate the Capitol’s scientific brilliance for his own tributes’ advantage, once he won his right to be an escort for his District following Dave’s death. He used this knowledge to save one of his tributes, Ben, whom he formed so strong an attachment to they became near-lovers, partners in all but the physical. Klaus faked his death during training and preserved his spirit in the body of a mockingjay, who he keeps as a pet. He is dangerous, but vulnerable - for all his brilliance, Klaus is prone to emotional attachments, and finds himself making careless mistakes when the lives of his loved ones are threatened.

(Cinna) Diego is the fashion designer for District 12, having come to the Capitol with his sister Eudora after she won her Games. They’re both from District 4, but he instead chooses to work for 12, entranced by the District’s escort Klaus from their first meeting. The two fall deeply in love, but only acknowledge it in coded conversations and never touch if they can help it, knowing that to take any risk in revealing their feelings for each other would result in one or both of them being killed by the Capitol as an example. Diego has another sister in Lila, who volunteered for him when he was Reaped a second time, and protects both of them with his life. He is close to Five, who he works with closely when training tributes, and immediately recognizes Allison as the face of their rebellion, risking his life for her in the hopes that she will lead them to a better world where he can finally hold Klaus in his arms.

(Cato) Leonard is a tribute in Allison’s Games. He tries to kill Vanya, which prompts Allison to kill him towards the end of the Games. Though he had very little chance originally due to being from the incredibly poor District 8, he grew in danger with every tribute dead, and was well-known for his manipulative charm that won him many sponsors. Allison’s hatred of him does not stop him from showing himself as a prominent victim in her many traumatic dreams.

Hazel and Cha-Cha are peacekeepers, both of whom have wavering loyalties to the Capitol. Hazel is on the fence because he fell in love with a District 12 marketplace vendor, Agnes, and Cha-Cha has been in touch with the Commission for years, hoping to bring the rebellion to the forefront and finally make a safe home with Hazel that isn’t so structured and merciless. This is made difficult by the fact that the Handler has complete control over them, threatening Agnes’ life if they don’t cooperate, and they’ll both do anything to save her - Hazel because he loves her, and Cha-Cha because she loves Hazel.

Agnes is a woman from District 12 who sells tributes lucky charms. She gave Allison her wolf, and Five his snake, and Klaus his mockingjay, and continues to help her people in whatever way she can, offering them bread and treats in secret whenever she manages to scrounge some from Hazel and Cha-Cha. She’s a prominent figure in the black market, but dies when District 12 is bombed, prompting Hazel and Cha-Cha to begin infiltrating the Peacekeepers from the inside despite the overwhelming risks.

(Lucy Gray) Dolores was Five’s ally and friend in his Games, one who shared his emblem of snakes. She learned to control them and change their venom’s property with herbs, granting Five agelessness when she had one bite him just before dying in his arms, having sacrificed herself so he could win. Her death cemented Five’s hatred of the Games and Capitol and his belief of attachments as weaknesses, and he often hallucinates her and speaks with her phantom when he’s locked away from the world, leading her to be known as a sore subject with Five and his greatest weakness. (That is, until his new family comes along and gives him something to fight for.)

(Mockingjay) Ben was a tribute in one of Klaus’ first Games as an escort, and he fell in deep platonic love with him. The two remained bonded throughout the years, as Klaus saved Ben by faking his death and keeping him in the body of a mockingjay until their victory in the second war, and Ben stayed by Klaus’ side for all that time as his beloved pet. Klaus would receive the names of marks from Five and give Ben poison to kill them with, having found a way to alter the venom in Ben’s talons from records of Dolores and Five’s Games, and a couple of vague and shallow conversations between himself and the latter. When Ben returns to his human form, Klaus tugs him into his arms and thanks him for all he’s done, never leaving his side again.

[ellanainthetardis]

It’s announcement day! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know!

[ff] or (ao3]

Chapter 12 :  A True Victor

His ears kept ringing long after Snow’s face had disappeared from the screen.

His hand was empty of the glass he had just been holding and he realized, belatedly, that he had thrown it at the wall, missing the screen by two inches. It laid, shattered, on the floor.

Shattered.

Someone laughed and it took him a few minutes to understand it was him. He laughed until his side hurt and tears ran down his face.

And, then, abruptly, as quickly as it had started, the laughter stopped.

On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.

He wanted to throw up.

He bowed down in two and took long deep breaths that did nothing for the anarchic beating of his heart or for the nausea.

Cannot overcome the power of the Capitol.

This was Snow’s revenge. This was why Haymitch was still alive when Cinna was dead. It wouldn’t be just Haymitch. It would be Katniss too. And enough of the victors to remind them all of where they stood in the food chain. It was a direct message to the Districts. The Capitol could kill their champions. It was…

It was the perfect answer to a failed coup.

Obvious enough for those who knew, not open enough to trigger reactions from those who didn’t.

Most District people would be relieved even. It meant that they didn’t need to fear for their children that year. He might be able to find comfort in that small mercy later on. For now…

For now, he couldn’t quite process it.  

Reaped from their existing pool of victors…

Katniss, for sure.

But not only.

Friends.

Twelve was the only District with so few victors but there were others… How many were there in Eleven, for instance? Five? Two of them being elderly. It didn’t bode well for his best friend either. And even if Chaff managed to slip through… He knew all the victors. Some better than others, true, but he knew them all. Even the Careers… Some of them he had no sympathy for, others he liked to think he was on friendly terms with.

He knew those people.

Every single one of them.

How fucked up was this?

Was it Heavensbee’s idea? Was that the suggestion that had convinced Snow of his loyalty and had saved his head? Tossing the victors back in their personal hell?

The arena.

The arena and its luring treacherous beauty. The emerald green grass, the deep blue water, the sweet smelling colorful flowers… The candy pink birds. Maysilee choking on her own blood. The volcano erupting in a rain of lava, the smell of sulphur in the air. Nya and her missing eye chasing after him to finish him, to win. The gut wrenching fear in the launching pod. The voice in his head pushing him on, reminding him that Hayden and his mother were waiting for him at home, that they would eventually starve if he died there, that Mabel would be there to welcome him back with her soft lips and her secretive smile. The voice telling him it was all worth it. Lives taken. Lives lost. All worth it for the certainty of holding all of them in his arms again, to melt in their embrace, to hear them say they loved him again.

A lie.

All a lie.

A trap.

Couldn’t go back.

Wouldn’t go back.

Fear was paralyzing.

He was sixteen again.

Listening to his name ringing out in the Square, last to be called by the Capitol clown on the stage. Being nudged forward by his friend because he was taking too long to move and it wouldn’t look good, it never looked good when they tried to run and the Peacekeepers had to chase after them. Pushed in that room in the Justice Building, intimidated by the place despite himself because he had lived his whole life in the Seam and this was the wealthy part of town. Trying to look strong for his mother, for his brother… Losing it with Mabel because she wasn’t just his girl but his best friend, had been since they had learned to talk, and he was freaking out. The words she had murmured in his ear until he had calmed down, learned how to breathe normally again, words he couldn’t remember at all even though their rhythm was branded in his memory like a distorted melody.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Words he had offered to all of them like a confident gift, a promise.

He was sixteen again.

He was sixteen again and his ears were ringing…

“Haymitch.”

His name was quiet and it made the ringing stop. He looked up at the boy standing on his living-room’s threshold. Peeta was paler than usual but there was a determined tightness to the line of his mouth, a tension in his shoulders.

And suddenly Haymitch was back to himself. If felt a lot like falling. He fell through memories that seemed so real he could almost touch them and back to his tired weakened body.

A forty year old man who was responsible for two kids and couldn’t afford to be paralyzed by fear.

“We need to talk.” Peeta declared, all tough, just like when he had confessed his feelings the year before, before the interviews, and had told him he intended to see Katniss out of that arena.

Peeta was the best of them. Haymitch had always known that.  

“Yeah.” he said. His voice sounded rough, raw, to his own ears and he cleared his throat. “I guess we do.”

He gestured at the armchair but Peeta declined with a shake of his head. The boy took a few steps toward the fireplace and remained there, in the middle of the room, a commanding presence. The charisma was good, Haymitch noted, Effie could work with that.

“We’re going to make sure Katniss wins this.” the boy said.

No surprise there.

No question either.

“Alright.” he agreed.

He was a bit impressed with himself for not even hesitating. He had thought his own survival instinct was stronger than that. But maybe he had developed another instinct in the last year. An even stronger one. An instinct that commanded him to save those kids by any mean necessary.  

“Well, that was easy.” Peeta said. The boy let out half a bitter chuckle. “I thought you would fight me at least a little about it first.”

“What’s there to fight about?” He opened his arms wide and let them fall back to his side. “We get Katniss out. You two crazy kids can have a very long life together. Pretty sure she doesn’t want kids of her own but maybe if you ever get a dog you can name it after me. That’ll make for a good joke, too. Caesar will love that. It’s important to be funny, you know. Helps with sponsors.”  He licked his lips and ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, I need a drink.” This was a lot to take in without the help of alcohol. His hands were shaking but he forced himself to slouch further in the couch instead of pacing the room like he wanted to, look casual. Detached. Like this was no big deal. “We’re done? ‘Cause I’d like to do some cursing in peace now.”

Peeta was frowning. “You’re not going. I’m going.”  

“Ah. That fight.” he snorted, studying him. He understood the projected confidence and determination better now. Peeta wasn’t there to ask him to die. Of course not. It would have been too easy. “No, kid.”

“You owe me.” the boy snapped. “You chose Katniss last year so you owe me. And that’s what I want. I will go in there and…”

“And get yourself killed for her?” he scoffed. “I’m curious. What���s the plan here? You die so she doesn’t have to marry you and she’s free to be with that other boy she doesn’t even know she actually likes? Or you hope that, then, she’s finally gonna understand that you’re the good guy? ‘Cause that’s stupid. Either way? You’re gonna be very dead and she’s gonna be very unhappy.”

“You think I want to die? I just want her to live!” the kid shouted, eyes suddenly brighter. He clenched his jaw and forced his voice down. “I can help her win.”

“Sure, you can. And you will.” he shrugged. “Out there. You’re gonna charm the pants off sponsors – not literally if possible – and you’re gonna make sure she’s got everything she needs to live another day.”

“Oh, come on, Haymitch!” Peeta snapped. “Let’s not pretend you care for me enough to volunteer if…”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” he spat. “I’ll volunteer. And I’ll punch you if you try to do the same thing. Don’t think I won’t.” They glared at each other until he shook his head. “You want to save Katniss. I can save you both. That’s the way to go.”

“No.” the boy protested. “If I go in there, I can make sure…”

He was out of the couch in a flash, not as swiftly as he would have liked but faster than Peeta had been expecting. He grabbed the kid’s arm and gave it a firm shake.

“Listen to me.” he hissed. “Fucking listen to what I’m saying. There won’t be any more tricks. There won’t be any miraculous save. Only one person is coming out of that arena and if you think for one fucking second I’m gonna stand by and let both of you go in when I can stop it…” It wasn’t convincing the boy. Not at all. He could read it on his face, plain as day, set in his damned stubbornness, his damned tendency at playing the knight in shining armor. Haymitch would never be much of a knight but he could probably be a good rook – knock everyone out of the way, clear a path, protect Katniss long enough for her to cross the chessboard. “I won’t be any help out there. Remember Cinna and Portia’s accident? I got out of that one easy, you hear what I’m saying?” He gave him another shake. “I’m blown in the Capitol for sure. Doesn’t matter how they’ll do it but I’m pretty sure no sponsor will deal with me. I’ll be useless, boy. That’s my accident. I get to watch you die.”

Peeta was staring straight into his eyes, searching for the lies, always mistrustful because he and Katniss had hidden too much.

“You don’t know…” the boy argued, a touch less confident.

It was all Haymitch needed. An in.

“Yeah, I do.” he chuckled. It almost sounded hysterical. He adjusted his grip on the boy’s arm, relaxed his fingers enough that they wouldn’t leave bruises. “I fucking do.”

“Even so…” Peeta shook his head. “I don’t know anything about mentoring. Even if…”

“Effie will take care of the practical stuff.” he cut him off. “Hell, she’s better at mentoring than I am. She practically got the two of you out by herself last year.” That was a gross exaggeration. But Effie was good. And she could do this. She would do this. “You just need to trust her and follow her lead. You’re half of the star-crossed lovers. Sponsors are gonna eat in your hand. They’re all gonna be rooting for you.”

“If I go in, I can protect her.” the boy pleaded.

“You think I wouldn’t have her back?” he sneered. “You think I’d turn on her?”

Peeta didn’t answer at once and it was almost insulting. Haymitch dropped his hands and stepped back, his sneer deepening. He was a despicable man on a lot of accounts. But he would have never…

“No.” the kid said quietly. “But I’m stronger.”

He hadn’t just spent weeks in withdrawals, he meant.

Although Haymitch supposed that had been a blessing in disguise. Withdrawals in an arena… That wouldn’t have been fun. And it would have made him an amusing spectacle for the wolves. He would have hated that. He had been a joke for most of his life, he hoped his death would carry a little more meaning than that.

Not that there was ever any meaning in death.

“You’re missing a leg.” he reminded him. He didn’t feel bad about the flash of pain and shame that passed on the boy’s face. It was a fact. The crude and honest truth. And speaking of truths… “You know what’s going to happen, kid? You’re gonna volunteer, you’re gonna go into that arena and she’s gonna realize she loves you at the worst possible moment.”

“Yeah, that’s going to happen.” Peeta scowled.

“Yeah. It will.” he laughed bitterly. “’Cause that’s the kind of person she is. It’s the kind of things she’ll figure out too late.” A bit like when he had held Effie until dawn on the last night of the Tour. A bit like… He rubbed his face. “You know the worst? It’s gonna make the Capitol’s day too. Tragic end to a tragic love story. You go in there and you die, you let them win.”

“I wanted to be more than a piece in their game.” the boy whispered sadly.

“Then be more.” he almost begged.

“If I let you go in there for me, they win too.” Peeta countered. “I let them win.”

“No.” he objected. “’Cause this Quell… That’s my game. Not yours. It’s my own fucking fault. I tried…” He let his sentence trail off and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. You said I owe you. I do. I chose her last year, I’m choosing both of you this year.”

“Haymitch…” the kid said, his voice breaking a little.

It was tempting and the boy was tempted.

Haymitch understood that very well because he was tempted to. Accept the teenager’s offer, promise to stay out of the arena whatever happened… If he had thought for one second that there was any hope of getting both of them out of there, if he had thought for one second that he would have been more useful out there… If there had been any guarantee…

If Thirteen hadn’t left them all to hang…

“You know what the smart thing to do is, Peeta.” he insisted. “And you know what Katniss is gonna say once she pulls her head out of her ass. How long do you think before she gets here and asks me to die for you?”

“She won’t.” the boy denied.

“Wanna bet?” he snorted but he wasn’t amused and he didn’t pretend to be for long. “I’m an old man. Whatever shitty life I had is behind me.”

Peeta ran both his hands in his hair and tugged a little at the roots, clearly distressed. “It’s not fair. I can’t ask you…”

“You’re not asking.” Haymitch cut him off. “You’re not asking and you’re not carrying that guilt. My choice.” The boy stared at him, breathing hard, so Haymitch went on. “We need you to be out there. For Katniss. That’s the best way you can protect her.”

Peeta turned around and paced back and forth, retracing the path from the couch to the bookshelf a few times. “What about Effie?”

The question took him a little aback. “Told you. She’s the best. She can…”

“That’s not what I mean.” the boy interrupted him, not unkindly. “You know what I mean.”

What about Effie?

He felt a pang of sadness only thinking about her. What she would have to go through… It was hard for her when it was children she had only known for two weeks. Watching friends go in there… Watching him…

Oh, it would kill her.

Just like it would have killed him if he had been staying behind.

But she would do her job and she would do it well. He trusted her implicitly. She was the best escort out there and everyone knew it. Every other victor had put a request for her at one point or another. The only reason she was still in Twelve was that she was the only one who had ever been able to talk some sense into him and make him somehow behave.

“Effie’ll put Katniss first.” he promised. “She…” He rolled his eyes. “Do I really need to spell this out, boy? We care about the two of you in case you didn’t notice. Both of us. We have our priorities straight.”

Peeta stopped pacing to study him once more, wary. “She’s your…” His sentence was left in suspension either out of tact or because he wasn’t sure what term to use. The boy cleared his throat and averted his eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready to…”

He appreciated what the kid was trying to say, to ask, but it was a pointless line of enquiries.

“She’s Capitol.” he said quietly.

“What does it have to do with anything?” Peeta scoffed. “It’s Effie. She’s much more than just her citizenship. She’s…”

“Capitol.” he finished before the teenager could launch into a speech on her qualities and flaws. He was intimately acquainted with each and every one of them. “I know everything’s about love at your age but for some people sex is just sex. It’s just a fling. Could never be anything but that.”

They didn’t belong in the same world.

And it would have been a selfish waste to save his own skin for something that had been doomed from the start.

Peeta nodded thoughtfully – not really convinced, he suspected, but maybe understanding the lie was a necessary one.

He and Effie had no future whatsoever.

The boy swallowed hard. “Are you sure?”

“That I want to go back to an arena?” he mocked. “What kind of fucking stupid question is that?”  

“That you want to die for me.” Peeta clarified. “For Katniss.”

He didn’t let himself hesitate. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure.”

The boy slouched a little, as if a weight had just settled on his shoulders. He looked older all of a sudden, older and exhausted. Lost.

A true victor.

Haymitch had won the argument but he found no joy in it. He wasn’t twisted enough for that.

“Go home.” he told the kid. “Get some rest.”

“What are you going to do?” Peeta asked in a small voice. That was a very good question but the sharp ringing of the phone answered that for him. The boy flashed him a small sad smile. “Tell her hi for me.”

Haymitch waited until the boy had slipped through the backdoor to put his shaking hand on the phone. He took a deep breath before answering. “Took you long enough, sweetheart.”