#he’s the fucking plot of all the fucking cap movies - the literal plot line of Steve rogers’ life AGSHDJFKF

[stevebvck]

soo I went to Disneyland this past week and saw the rogers musical

[avelera]

I am never going to be over what the movies did with Steve and Tony's dynamic, because- listen, listen. The reason Civil War was (supposed to, it was kind of a hot mess) hit so hard in the comics was that these two were *best friends* and had been for decades of comic time. In the movies, they never are friends, so Civil War is just two colleagues who never really got on, and not the devastating tearing apart of a long-established friendship group.

Dude I literally burst out into like... outraged, furious laughter in the theater when Tony said, "I thought I was your friend?" because, umm, footage not fucking found?

I completely get and respect the comic readers here for whom Steve & Tony and Steve/Tony were, in fact, the best of friends! But the MCU never ever actually showed it.

To cram that line, which felt lifted from the comics, into the MCU was genuinely laughable. How could Tony possibly think he compares to what we've seen of Steve and Bucky's relationship, since childhood even if you don't ship them, as the only person Steve has left from his entire life pre-WWII? How could Tony possibly think he compares except through the lens of a galaxy sized ego and being totally self-involved to the exclusion of all else? How could any work colleague, since that's what they are at best when not outright antagonists to each other in the MCU, think they'd compare to a childhood friend in danger, that Tony is actively putting in danger? Who Tony is blaming for the death of his father despite the fact they've got piles of evidence that Bucky was a mind-controlled prisoner of war being actively tortured at the time?

It's literally staggering, it beggars belief that this line was uttered. And wildly enough, it's not even my least favorite line in Civil War. (That one goes to Vision's stupid fucking comment about how strength invites challenge, basically victim-blaming the superheroes for having villains, which only possibly makes any sense if you ignore Thor, the greater galaxy, all of the infinity stones, and basically every other part of the MCU timeline before Steve Rogers got the serum, Christ that line makes me mad.

Oh, and the line about Tony just handwaving signing the accords because their lawyers can fix it later as the most boneheaded line of insane privilege I've ever heard. Kids, never fucking sign something just because you can supposedly fix it later, christ it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.)

ANYWAY, I have major beef with Civil War's logic. It never should have happened where it did in the MCU. Cap 3 should have been dedicated to its original plot before they found out RDJ was staying on in the MCU and they had the pieces to make Civil War (the original was the hunt for Bucky and an examination of Captain America's legacy through the lens of Bucky killing off the pretenders the US government set up to be him over the years, and I still weep that we never got it) But I do honestly, deeply, have sympathy for comic fans and why they're mad about the Steve and Tony friendship never actually appearing on screen in any meaningful way.

Civil War shouldn't have happened then. Civil War is a plot you run now, when you've got the rights to the X-Men and too many damn characters running amok. Civil War would be perfect now for pairing down some of the ballooning MCU nonsense. The cast was literally not big enough circa Cap 3 to make Civil War. And I'm eternally bitter that they pivoted away from the smaller-scale Cap-centric movie we should have had and instead made another Avengers movie in its name.

[violetfaust]

I mostly enjoyed the Captain Carter/Hydra Stomper episode of What If...

It's cool to see a storyline that's giving the Peggy/Steve romance the real emphasis and emotion that the main MCU never bothered to (Peggy's longest arc in the MCU was two seasons of her own show devoted to getting over Steve, only to have her dropped back into his arms as his reward in Endgame, a movie in which she had not one single line.) And I loved Peggy/Nat best friendship.

BUT

--and it's a huge BUT--

WHERE THE HELL WAS SAM WILSON?

Sam's an integral member of the modern Team Cap. He's Steve's best friend (and successor).

You're telling me that a major plot point was a daring midair rescue of Peggy and Steve--and it wasn't by Sam? The literal Falcon?? The guy who has a signature move of rescuing people in midair???

You're telling me that we actually got GILF civilian Bucky--and his protector was fucking RUMLOW? Not Sam?? (The next Captain Carter installment better have Rumlow, a HYDRA agent, kidnapping Bucky. Maybe Sam can rescue him then. [I haven't finished s2.])

What If had the chance to finally give us all the members of WWII Team Cap (Peggy/Bucky/Howard) and the modern one (Sam/Nat/Bucky) in an adventure together. And it dropped the ball. What a disappointment.

[livvyofthelake]

HONOR MY FRIEND HONOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all what she chose to do showed she had heart so jot that the fuck down!!! secondly gaten matarazzo KILL YOURSELF sorry i was just really profoundly affected by this movie. thirdly yes i cried. literally what if the only truth that mattered at the center of everything was love and it was beautiful…. what if our protagonist that fucking sucks found out that the only thing worth living for was actually love all along and she was wrong to be cynical and jaded because at the end of the day she’s a good person surrounded by people she loves that love her back in equal measure and she could never truly be capable of hurting them because she has such a big big heart….. what if our protagonist was on an initially selfish journey but found real true narrative defying love along the way and in the end that was all that mattered…….

furthermore. not one side character was slacking. kennedy? my best friend i LOVE weird girls. travis? literally chad danforth if he was in a paramount plus original movie about a girl that was kind of freaky and machiavellian. his lacrosse number was literally 8. that’s chad’s number…. gary? literally ryan evans if he was in a paramount plus original etc you get it. and then they got to kiss like real people do. hashtag justice for chad and ryan where’s that paper rings amv i have to post that later. honor’s mom? literally bread IS love mrs. rose…. and the way she said she thought michael wasn’t genuine from the start…. saying that in contrast honor always has been genuine even though she doesn’t perceive herself that way… went crazy. honor’s dad? i loved your deck honor’s dad!!! talia and emma? their henchmen swag. their sidekick realness. their bff slay. and they had such fun outfits too…. they could do tanya and rosie mamma mia. diesel? maybe he was right to bully michael. i stand with him in the end fuck michael. speaking of michael i love how they NEEDED to include one little bit of gaten singing. they were like this is 100% necessary to the plot, he needs to have a little singing moment NOW. anyway. travis’s dad? slayed. ally king! he literally just wants his gay son to stop being late for practice! coach bolton core! sorry i need to stop referencing high school musical. and the creepy guidance counselor? well i don’t want to say she was right to um. roofie him. but like. idk. i mean. well. creepy guidance counselor who keeps flirting with a 17 year old girl and insinuating that he’ll help her academically if she has sex with him vs morally ambiguous teenage girl who slips him a roofie so he won’t come onto her in a seedy bar with none of her friends around. like i’m on her side there i don’t care if what she did was bad. i love it when girls do bad things <3

ALSO. THE PLAY????? when she’s like oh did i forget to mention it’s a musical? i was like UM YEAH HONOR YOU LEFT THAT OUT!!!! and i was SOOOOO exited it was crazy. that was the REAL twist of this movie. i had a lot of fun with that ending if you couldn’t tell from the all caps…. when it went back to the “men don’t have to choose between love and power, why should a woman?” line i went crazy… why should honor have to choose between love and power??? she chose love and then she STILL blackmailed that creep and got her friend into harvard! and she’ll be fine!!!!! she’ll be fine!!! oh my god it was just soooo good seriously…. and in 90ish minutes too…. i LOVE a movie that can make me cry in 90 minutes i LOVE a short movie i LOVE to experience the breadth of human emotion within 90 minutes of a short ass movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS is movie of the year material FINALLY we are getting some fucking CONTENDERS for this shit. i can’t believe it’s april and only like. maybe five movies i’ve watched all year have really been contenders for movie of the year. ok well it was literally winter can you even blame me. anyway!! everybody go watch honor society xoxo

[veikkoalen]

more of a rambling than an actual addition to a discussion

yoton yo the song is in its entirety about scratch; but it has a weird line: "The cap of the booze bottle has gone missing". with zane specifically repeating the "ahh let me fix you a drink" both in aw2 AND in control awe cutscene. plus the flashback inside his first cutscene had "a happy song" which played in american nightmare only in the third tv cutscene with scratch dancing. what if alan "remembered" the flashback from scratch' perspective? because these two films with zane were actually directed by him

overall i really think there's really something between zane and scratch. his cutscene in control awe was also sketchy as fuck, teleporting and having weird effects on his side of the shot.

side note: was thinking about yoton yo the movie and it being loosely but seriously tied to the plot of the game (last words of the film/game; one twin being (indirectly) responsible for the death of the other). i wonder: if something got out of the well in the movie, could something get out in the game? probably just an allegory to scratch 😪 but what if it's something more. ohh i hate him i love him and im fully invested

p.s. jskxnalnsxkmd scratch might not be dead once again; he supposedly died in american nightmare and now, but the yoton yo sings that "you can never escape him" bc it's literally your fucking reflection. ugh i really sense the superego-ego-id trio from (all the people alan keeps dragging down to save him xdd)-alan-scratch

I need to talk about my theories on Alan Wake 2’s timeline somewhere so here it is, spoilers obviously, and I REALLY would love someone for discussion. Here we go(warning: it’s freaking long):

One thing to be noted: a lot of my theory is based on what was revealed in The Signal and The Writer, so make sure you know what happened there first then read my theory.

My theory with the loop: it has been expanded many times. It started with Alan trying to write Return to escape, but kept failing. So he slowly lost his mind, splitting into two personas like what happened in the DLCs again. This is what I call “the basic loop.” I want to note that my theory is that in the game, we only get to experience the part AFTER crazy Alan wrote Return, possessed by Dark Presence, restarted a new loop already and return to his “optimistic” self.

Alan writes Return->caught by the Dark Presence-> wakes up in the writer’s room.

Then Mr. Door and Alice came in. For now my theory is Mr. Door came in first, brought the Talk Show section. Alan can now project him into the NYC through Talk Show.

Alan writes Return->projects to NYC->caught by the Dark Presence->wakes up in the writer’s room.

Then Alice came, significantly changed the entire loop. She basically created Alan’s “suicide” loop. Every time Alan wakes up in the Talk Show, he touches his forehead, but not when he wakes up in the Writer’s Room. She added even more layers to the spiral, and made a chance for the creation of a spiral.

Alan writes Return->projects to NYC->escaped from the studio->instructed to find Alice’s footages -> caught by the Dark Presence->return to the writer’s room.

Now here is the tricky part. The three times in the game we saw Alan returns to the Writer’s Room is also a big loop itself. Here’s my understanding right now:

The first time back in the room is only the end, not the beginning. He saw the body, then possessed by the Dark Presence, and started the basic loop again. That’s why in the next section we started in the Writer’s Room, then Talk Show.

The second time he returned to the writer’s room, there was already a draft written by his crazy half, try to edit it, then shot by himself(who he thought to be Scratch). Then he is projected to NYC. The process still follows the basic loop, but as you can see it’s cracking.

The third time he returned to the room, he shot himself, realizing it was himself trying to edit the manuscript, then possessed by the Dark Presence, then summoned by Saga. Then the basic loop started again, his crazy half wrote Return, da da da…

Now you might be wondering why didn’t I proceed to Saga’s part?

BECAUSE SAGA CREATED AN EVEN BIGGER BREACH FOR THE SPIRAL.

The three times Alan returned to the room, as I mentioned, IS a bigger loop itself. My theory is that before we step into the game as Saga, the bigger loop has been repeated over and over again. And because this time Saga steps into the story as a hero, the loop was shaken even greater, it is at the very moment we beat the game that a true spiral was created.

And that’s it for my loop theory rn, kudos to any one of you that actually finished it.

There are still a lot of questions, tho. My biggest one is with Thomas Zane. Alan is guided to find Alice’s videos by Thomas Zane EVERY TIME. It truly bugs me because he’s basically helping Alice plan this whole time, even when he lied that Alice is not in the Dark Place but in the real world, and when he fooled Alan that Scratch wrote Return. I know theories out there are saying Zane is the main villain, but I’m conflicted with this one.

[bookishofalder]

Catfish & Sunshine

Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader Mini Series

Summary: Frankie is secretly in love with his best friend. Thanks in part to Benny’s shitty horror movie recommendation and stray ice cream, feelings come out unexpectedly during movie night. 

Warnings: Language, SMUT, little angst, lots of fluff, poor writer understanding of US military benefits/retirement. WC 8,215.

A/N: I dreamed this up after rewatching Triple Frontier about a month ago (for the plot, of course) and let it sit for a while. Became inspired to finish it off this week and share it with you all-so please let me know your thoughts!

For over a decade, Saturday nights were, for Frankie Morales, usually spent with his best friends over drinks at their favourite bar. When deployed, the bar was instead smuggled whiskey that they shared under the stars, an attempt to imagine they were anywhere other than the current hellhole. As Special Ops soldiers, Frankie and his buddies had been through the worst of the worst together, until one by one they retired or were forced to retire, and then they were back to regular appearances at the local bar, for a while the five of them, then four.

Until Frankie met you.

Had someone come up to him during one of those nights years before and told Frankie that one day he’d be bringing you along to the bar to join him and the guys, he’d have laughed in their faces. But for a while, that was exactly what occurred, until you and Frankie grew so close that you usually ended up making different plans, like going mini-golfing, or lounging at his apartment and watching movies. Not that you didn’t love the guys, all whom you’d met except for Santi as he had been off the grid for just over a year when you and Frankie had met.

It was thanks to the elder Miller brother, Will, that he had even met you at all. Working at the VA office, Will had learned of one of the few retirement perks they had for putting their asses on the line for their country-physical therapy. And you came highly recommended, a star PT who had worked magic over his friends' ailments. Knowing Frankie suffered from shoulder and neck pains, Will handed him your card and encouraged him to book an appointment.

He hadn’t called straight away. He’d popped your card onto his fridge and every day he’d pass by it, consider calling, and then talk himself out of it. Until the pain became too much to bear, his latest menial job just a little too physical for him, causing him to consider using again just to dull the ache. But he’d walked by your card moments later and instead of making a terrible decision he had promised himself he’d never make again, he called your office. Made an appointment with your friendly receptionist, who thankfully had his name already because Will had put in a good word for Frankie and asked that they try and get him in straight away, whenever he finally did call.

Two days later Frankie was standing nervously in the treatment room, looking at a wall decorated with your various degrees and certificates. He was anxious not only because he worried he’d get his hopes up that this would help the pain only to be disappointed, but also because he had no idea what to expect. Years of service as a pilot had made Frankie into a man who planned, meticulously, leaving little in the way of surprises. But he’d reasoned that calling the office back and demanding they give him a minute-by-minute account of what the appointment would be like was probably going too far.

And then you had walked in and immediately his worries morphed into concern over the fact that he required a beard trim, that he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed and popped his usual cap on, probably appearing a little gruff. And fuck, he almost couldn’t breathe when you gave him the most dazzling, genuine smile like you were greeting an old friend. You were bright, a rare energy radiating off of you as though you absorbed it straight from the fucking sun, and you were beautiful. No wonder Will had winked at Frankie when he’d handed you the business card.

You were observant, introducing yourself and seemingly sensing his overall discomfort. Instead of launching straight to business, you gestured for him to sit and spent a good twenty minutes casually chatting, pulling information you needed from him while putting him at ease entirely. He learned then that Will had already sung Frankie’s praises, given you the heads up that he was a worrier and even told a few stories that showcased his talents as a pilot.

If Frankie didn’t know any better, he’d think his friend was trying to play matchmaker.

All thoughts of Will Miller, and pretty much every other thing on the planet, vanished the moment you laid your expert hands on to Frankie. You zeroed in on the worst source of pain and slowly worked away, and he could only agree with Will that you had magic hands. He could have died happily right then, as you chatted away and brought him the most relief he’d felt in years. You would pause occasionally to check in with his pain levels and make sure he was doing alright, always asking him to look at you to answer and searching his face as he spoke to ensure he was telling the truth.

The care you gave Frankie in just one appointment was enough to start him falling. And he kept going back, multiple appointments a week that not only had him walking taller, feeling lighter on his feet and reducing his migraines to seldom, but also allowing him to get to know you better. You were the kind of sweet-natured person that cried when you saw a sad commercial, laughed freely to the lamest of jokes, and seemed to wake up on the right side of the bed every day. You were sunshine, literal, tangible sunshine, and Frankie thought you might not even realize it.

Though Frankie had convinced himself early on that a woman as beautiful and kind as you could never be interested in a grouch like him, with his crows' feet and a closet full of demons. The longer he knew you little seeds of hope would sprout whenever he made you laugh so hard you had to stop the treatment just to hold your stomach as you giggled. Or when you’d share something with him innocent enough but, upon reflection, he would think it wasn’t something a normal patient-provider relationship would find exchanged.

But there was the age difference, a decade between you both that, if nothing else worked, would successfully extinguish his hope. He had wondered if perhaps you were just a decent people person, that the friendship he felt was there was entirely one-sided.

Until one day, a few months into coming to you for treatment, Frankie sat waiting for you to come in the room only for you to appear looking entirely unlike yourself. He booked his appointments always for the end of the day, a routine that promised he would get plenty of uninterrupted time with you and the conversation could flow without a time constraint. He had been so surprised that you weren’t grinning as you stepped into the room that he stood abruptly, filling with concern.

When he asked, softly, if you were alright, you didn’t brush him off like he might have expected. You instead looked up at Frankie, your lower lip trembling as your eyes filled with tears, and sobbed unexpectedly. That sound had torn a hole right into his chest and he had pulled you straight into his arms and hugged you close before asking you to tell him what he could do to help.

You ended up explaining that you had come in that morning to the news that a regular patient of yours, an elderly man you’d known the entire time you’d been working for the VA office, had passed away in his sleep. And you’d apologized to Frankie while sniffling and wiping at the tears, telling him you’d held it in all day but couldn’t do that when your friend asked you, and he had been baffled to realize you were referring to him. As your friend.

He had cut off your apology to hug you close again, smoothing your hair gently as he whispered calming words and sentiments to you in Spanish. And though you didn’t speak the language, you had since told Frankie it had done exactly what he’d hoped and made you feel all the better. 

After his treatment that day, Frankie asked if he could take you for a drink to toast your friend's life. He waited for you to close up the office, and then you’d followed him in your car to drive over to his usual bar. And you both drank to the veteran who passed, then ended up ordering dinner and remaining at the bar until late, talking even more freely outside of the office. If Frankie didn’t already have it bad for you, that night sure sealed it for him.

After that, you and Frankie began texting regularly, sometimes even calling one another to share a funny story or talk about something in the news. He had joined you for your former clients funeral, his hand rubbing comforting circles into your back before he took you out for lunch, then you’d ended up at his place to watch a cheesy movie, ordering pizza when you both realized there was a sequel that, if it was as bad as the first, you absolutely needed to watch.

And just like that, Frankie saw his life altered completely when you became his best friend.  

Currently, Frankie was seated comfortably on his couch, where he frowned at the TV playing a horror movie that you had insisted was supposed to be good, because Benny had recommended it. Considering the younger Miller brother could barely sit still half the time, that was supposedly good enough for you. 

You were tucked into Frankie’s side, eyes fixed on the screen until a jump scare had you jerk, then twist your face to press into his chest, because you hated the gory bits.

“Fuck! How does this not scare you even a little, Frankie?” You whined, unknowingly causing Frankie to swell with pride when he heard the note of admiration in your voice. He had started to suspect that the reason movie nights were becoming exclusively scary movies was that you were determined to find one that actually frightened him.

So far, you’d had no luck. But Frankie didn’t mind, because though you were already a touchy person in general, you were especially clingy when you queued up the next horror flick as if you trusted him to keep you safe.

Frankie didn’t reply, his chest rumbling with silent laughter that made you teasingly poke his side. He jumped, because you knew exactly where to aim, then cleared his throat. The scene ended, and he began to extract himself from your grip. “My sweet tooth is calling, cariño. I’m going to get some ice cream.”

You let him go, your head popping up, a big grin on your face, “Can I have some too, please?” And he nodded, smiling at you before walking across the open concept apartment and into his kitchen.

He stretched his back before opening the freezer where he had some bars next to an off-limits pint of Ben and Jerry’s. You had put it there months ago, telling Frankie it was for days when you got together and one of you needed to cry over a bad date. You called it ‘emergency’ ice cream. Frankie considered it to be ‘fuck you’ ice cream, because every time he opened his damn freezer he saw that pint and ended up thinking about how neither of you had been on a date with anyone since becoming friends over a year before, then falling into the same circular argument with himself-that the friendship was too important for him to feel the way he did, that he was jumping to conclusions and maybe you had gone on a few good dates that you just didn’t tell him about, and he was out of his mind if he thought you would ever feel the same way.

“Here you go, Sunshine,” He plopped back down next to you and passed you your bar, watching as you beamed at him widely, the inevitable result of his use of the nickname he’d dubbed you with a long time ago.

He desperately hoped you never realized the amount of affection truly behind that nickname.

Because how could he even begin to explain that you were literally sunshine in his dark life?

“Thank you,” You pulled the wrapper off, glancing at the movie and frowning. “Uhg. Benny promised the one was good! I’m starting to think he only recommends movies if they have at least one pair of tits.” You took the first bite of your ice cream bar while Frankie nearly choked on his own.

Amused as he was whenever you joked about your shared friends, Frankie also loved it when you swore. You were a goofy, happy little thing most of the time and curse words just seemed so out of character for you, pulling laughter from Frankie any time you caught him by surprise. You spent your days around gruff veterans and never seemed to lose any light, no matter how many real horror stories you heard. So whenever you managed to sound so uncharacteristically blunt, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Benny has always been a tits man,” Frankie agreed, and you giggled. He tried to refocus on the movie then, but it hadn’t captured his interest in the least. After a moment, you spoke again and he had to work on not choking.

“What are you, Francisco?”

Your tone was playful, light; Frankie’s head jerked in surprise to gaze down at you and you wiggled your brows, going for laughs. You seemed completely unaware of the roaring in his ears, the visceral reaction your words brought forth within him. You and Frankie had shared intimate tidbits like that before with one another, often during nights at the bar with the Miller brothers. After a few drinks and usually, because his friends knew exactly how he felt about you and tried to steer the conversations into dangerous waters and watch Frankie try to save himself.

Only, Frankie’s friendship with you during the last few months had become...deeper. After the operation Santiago had brought Will, Benny, Tom and him in on, your relationship had evolved. Because that nightmare had reminded Frankie just how dark shit could get in the blink of an eye, and he’d had to do things he thought he was done with when he retired from service. Worse, because they were just civilians using Santi’s connections and intel to rob a drug lord.

And you had no idea what he’d gone through, how hard he’d fought just to get home to you because he couldn’t-wouldn’t-tell you. Yet you still patched him up, physically and emotionally, when he’d come home three weeks later than he’d promised. You held him as he cried and never became angry with him, never questioned him for answers as to why he’d come home with one less friend and a whole lot of mysterious trauma.

After that, Frankie realized he was hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you.

So a simple, flirtatious little question? Yeah, it really managed to fuck Frankie up.

His friends had sensed the change as well, noticed how you held Frankie up when he felt like he couldn’t stand, how you comforted them all when they got home and cried along with them over Tom, over Santi not coming home even though you’d only met him once, briefly. You held strong for him at Tom’s funeral, which prompted the Miller brothers to tell Frankie in no uncertain terms that he simply could not let you slip through his fingers. If that fucking mission had taught them anything, it was that life was too short and you might as well live it to the fullest.

But the thing was, Frankie depended on you. Your friendship was the one real, good, pure thing in his life. And you gave it so willingly and unquestionably even after what he put you through that there was no fucking way he was risking it by telling you how he felt.

Christ, you even had a spot in his bathroom for your own toiletries, a favourite pillow on his bed for the nights you stayed, a fucking hook for your coat that he installed just a little lower than the other because you were so much smaller than Frankie.

And still, he wouldn’t look at what that might mean because he was afraid, and as much as you seemed to think nothing scared him, the truth was that a gory horror movie, or losing his friend, or even fucking live combat could never come close to the fear he felt when he pictured life without you.

You were Frankie’s Sunshine, and he never wanted to be alone in the dark again.

Aware he was still gazing down at you, Frankie found himself entirely at a loss for words. You didn’t seem to mind, simply waiting for him to respond while taking small bites of your treat. His cock twitched at the combination of your words, the innocent way you gazed at him, because Frankie hadn’t touched himself in quite some time and it didn’t take much to drive him up the wall.

His life with you had become remarkably domestic, routine. You often stayed multiple nights in a row at his place, preferring his company over being alone, and the shorter distance to your office. His spacious condo had one large four-piece bathroom, which meant there had been a few times where one of you was in the shower and the other came in, desperate to use the toilet before their bladder could burst. The shower had a thickly frosted glass enclosure, which provided plenty of visual privacy from both sides, the only indication that someone was in the shower was a very faint tint. This was never an issue until it was.

Exactly sixty-two days prior (not that Frankie was necessarily keeping count of passing time since his last orgasm), you had burst into the bathroom one afternoon unexpectedly. Returning early from your jog because you needed to pee, while Frankie stood in the shower. He listened to you tell him about a cute dog you’d seen outside his building. The thing was, Frankie had expected you to be gone longer, and you were in the middle of a three-day visit that had left him needy and horny because he hadn’t had time alone and yet you walked around in his fucking clothes, slept next to him in his bed, and he needed release.

He was grateful the tinted glass prevented you from having any idea what he was doing on the other side. And he had been close already when you came in, one hand fisting over his cock while the other pressed into the tile wall, and guilt sprang up in the back of his mind because he had been thinking of you as he touched himself. And you were just feet away, unaware and fuck if that didn’t lead him to the edge.

But it was when you had sat down to pee and he heard you give a little moan of relief that Frankie lost it, giving in to the most powerful-yet silent-orgasm he had had in fucking years. Rope after rope of cum, his legs violently shaking, and he’d wondered if he would pass out it felt so good. Then you’d flushed and continued speaking, washing your hands before telling him you were going to put on a pot of coffee. And the guilt Frankie felt was so immense that he vowed right there he wasn’t going to touch himself again. He cared for and respected you too much to reduce you to his graphic thoughts without your consent.

Sixty-two days later and you were testing his limits unknowingly.

“I, uh, I’m not sure,” He replied, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You frowned a little, kitten licking the ice cream absentmindedly. Frankie almost groaned, wondering if you were trying to kill him. “I guess, it depends on the person.” He was never, ever going to admit he was a you man, that your ass, your perfect tits, your pretty little mouth were everything he could dream and more.

He tried to shrug casually, as if indifferent.

“I guess it’s a funny question,” You said after a moment, laughing a little, “I mean, no one asks a straight woman if she’s an ass or cock girl!”  

Frankie took a too-large bite of his treat, the cold painful and giving him instant brain freeze but it was just the distraction he needed because seeing your plump lips wrap around the word ‘cock’ might just kill him. He coughed attempting to laugh at your joke despite the brain freeze, and you leaned closer in concern.

“Sorry, are you-ah, shit!” A piece of your ice cream bar, which you’d moved to hold higher as you were checking on Frankie, fell off and landed on your chest, instantly staining the pale pink t-shirt. You hopped up with a noise of discontent, catching the fallen glob and hurrying into the kitchen to toss it in the sink. “Damn it!”

Frankie reached out and paused the movie, standing up and intending to follow you. He took two steps, adjusting his cap as he moved, and then looked up to where you stood at the sink, running your shirt under the faucet. Freezing, he took it the sight of you standing in his kitchen, your shirt removed to run under the water, leaving you wearing yoga pants and a simple white bra. For a moment, he just shut down and stared at you dumbfounded, before internal alarms started sounding and Frankie’s eyes were sweeping over your curves, his eyes zeroing in on the lack of support your bra had, your breasts perky and full and fuck, he had to look away.

He looked up at his ceiling at cleared his throat “You uh, want me to grab you a shirt?” His voice came out much deeper than he was expecting. He hoped you didn’t notice, though with only being able to see your profile even if he did dare to look at you, he’d never be able to tell.

“Can I borrow your big sweater, please?” You asked him, and Frankie nodded as he hurried away, down the hall to grab the sweater he knew you meant from his room. He would have laughed at your suggestion it was his sweater when he barely got to wear it himself anymore, but he was trying to remember how to breathe.

Once out of sight in his bedroom, Frankie took a few steadying breaths before grabbing the sweater off the end of his bed. He was going to subject himself to a cold shower after he handed this to you because you were staying the night again and he could not climb into a bed with you this worked up.

One of the reasons that you and Frankie just worked as friends were your opposite ways of navigating life. Where Frankie was a detailed, meticulous planner, you flitted from idea to idea spontaneously until something landed right, and you seemed to enjoy pulling him along with you as you followed those random whims. And he let you pull him because he trusted you so completely. Even if he would still make a new plan in the back of his mind, it still felt like he was taking chances he never would have without you leading the way.

Planning was Frankie’s way of keeping control. Of keeping himself, his squadmates, his loved ones, safe and secure. After Columbia, where every bit of the plan had gone completely to shit, he’d needed to let you lead more often just so he could feel grounded because he didn’t trust himself any longer. And you had been happy to lead, to test his limits by pushing aside any planning he attempted and pull him from his comfort zone. You had taught him how to grapple with his instincts and his desires, giving him real-world methods to cope, including breathing as he was now.

So focused as he was on his breathing, Frankie hadn’t noticed you had joined him in his room, standing just inside the doorway. If he had heard you, he wouldn’t have spun around abruptly and take two long strides before realizing how close you were, nearly knocking you over as he did. He dropped the sweater when he reached out with both hands to grab your upper arms and steady you, and then he met your gaze.

Frankie couldn’t say whether it was the heat of his hands on you so unexpectedly, or the way you each shivered at the electricity that seemed to pulse from him to you. Maybe it was everything combined, years of friendship, longing and pining and then almost dying in the middle of the jungle only to come home and have you climb into his lap and sob in relief that he was home, and a million other moments in between.

But when Frankie met your eyes there in the doorway of his bedroom, he knew his expression was giving him away completely.

You were looking at him with wide eyes, your mouth slightly open in surprise, whatever words you were going to say long since lost. And then he saw it, was looking right at you when your expression shifted, no longer the innocent, playful woman but instead, one who was suffering just as much as he was, longing and love and this hunger on your face he’d never seen before.

Without hesitating, without thinking or planning his next move, Frankie tugged you against him and leaned down to slot his lips over yours, taken aback when he saw you close your eyes and stretch your neck up to meet him. When your soft lips connected to his, Frankie trembled and groaned, loving the feel of your body pressed against him, the way you smelled like something tropical, how even with your perfect curves you were so small compared to him. Kissing you was everything he’d dreamed and more.

He wanted to deepen the kiss, taste you, but even as he thought it his mind jumped ten steps ahead and imagined you on his bed and he had to stop himself from getting carried away. With great effort he pulled back, first breaking the kiss and then taking several steps away, panting heavily.

“Frankie?” You were out of breath, confused, and deliciously flushed. He could see your nipples tightened against the thin fabric of your bra, goosebumps along your skin. Just the knowledge that he’d had that kind of effect on you was enough to make him want to cum in his pants right there.

“Cariño, I can’t, I’m sorry,” It was physically painful now, his hard length straining against his jeans, but he was more concerned about you, and how afraid he was to lose you. “I-I’ve wanted to do that but you gotta know, I love you. I’m in love with you.” He couldn’t meet your eyes, instead choosing to look at his feet and rubbing his hands over his face.

You approached him again, just as quietly, taking him by surprise when you spoke from just inches away. “Frankie, look at me,” It was an order, a tone you rarely used but that always worked on grounding him, and he realized you understood he was struggling right now not to break down, terrified he’d fucked up the best thing in his life in a moment of weakness. He reluctantly met your gaze, swallowing thickly as he did.

“I need you to hear me right now, okay? Tell me.”

“I’m listening,” He confirmed, heart about ready to beat out of his chest, “I can hear you.”

“Good,” And you closed the gap between your body and his, pressing your hands into his shoulders. Frankie caught his breath. “I want you to do that again, and I don’t want you to stop. Please, kiss me again, Frankie, because I love you too and I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life than I want you-“

Frankie cut you off, a growl ripping from his chest before he gathered you roughly into his arms and kissed you again, this time quickly swiping his tongue across your lips for permission to enter, and you gladly parted them for him, moaning when his tongue licked into your hot mouth. He slid one hand to the back of your head, his fingers weaving into your hair carefully before he pressed your face to his, needy to taste you more, to get drunk on you. Fuck, you were perfect.

When you whimpered against him, the sound almost lost in his mouth, Frankie moved, walking you back until you hit the wall and crowding you there. He ran his free hand across the bare skin of your side, heat coursing through his veins when you shuddered at his touch, keening for him. He hadn’t realized he was rolling his hips against you, his erection pressed into your stomach until one of your small hands somehow slipped between your bodies and ghosted over the front of his jeans curiously.

“Fuck,” He broke the kiss, this time simply to lower his head and kiss along your jaw, down your neck, “Sunshine, I fucking love you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, sweet girl.” He licked the column of your throat as he moved to the other side of your face before biting gently. The sound that tore from you was so filthy he groaned again, dropping both hands to grasp your forearms.

“Frankie, fuck, don’t stop,” You were tugging at his shirt, and despite your request, he had to move back slightly to pull it over his head, his bare chest revealed to you and even though you’d seen him shirtless before, the intimacy of this time, of finally being with you after so long, made him self conscious. If you saw anything you didn’t like, you didn’t show it. Instead, you bit your lip as your hands tentatively roamed across his chest, trailing over his stomach lightly enough that he shivered. When you spoke next, you yet again took Frankie completely by surprise, your brows furrowing as your expression became more than just hungry, “Mine.”

You whispered it, but to Frankie, it was like you’d just announced it to the entire world. The possessive edge wasn’t lost on him, no, it shot straight to his core and snapped the final cords of his restraint.

“I should...I need a minute, Sunshine,” Frankie pressed his hands into the wall on either side of you, “I haven’t done anything in a long time, haven’t even cum, I don’t think I can be as sweet to you as I want to be.”

Your lust-blown eyes met his, “Why haven’t you cum?” He could hear trouble in your voice now, the not so careful way you spoke pulling dangerous images in his mind as he stared down at you, his jaw tense. When Frankie made no reply, you pressed your pointer finger to the middle of his chest, your eyes never leaving his as you slowly, lightly, moved it downward, trailing his dark hair. “Is it because you think of me? Are you that amazing that you won’t even let yourself cum because you think it’s wrong to think about me like that?”

A strangled noise was all he could respond with, his hands pressing desperately into the wall. You knew him too well, understood exactly what he’d meant without having to ask. And then you kept talking, and honestly, Frankie was floored at how dirty you suddenly were for him.

“I have to admit, you’re better than me, Frankie,” That finger trailed so slowly, closing in on his belly button now, “I’m not good like you, I think about you all the time. Especially when I touch myself, usually after I’ve spent a ton of time with you and I can’t fucking wait for a second longer. Wanna know what I picture?”

His voice was husky, a warning if ever there was one, “What did you picture, sweet girl?”

You moaned, your finger now closing in on the waist of his jeans, “You, bending me over the couch, that one is a favourite. Or waking you up with a blowjob, swallowing everything you’ve got because I know you taste delicious,” You unbuttoned his jeans now, sliding the zipper down with care, “But I think the winner, the one that always makes me scream your name, is thinking about riding you, Frankie. Climbing in your lap and just-“

Fuck, fuck he couldn’t hold back. He’d told you he couldn’t and yet you wouldn’t shut up and all thoughts of making love to you gently were out the fucking window, Frankie instead growled deeply and grabbed you by the arms, all but throwing you on the bed. You were smirking up at him, your eyes dark with lust and shining with triumph.

“Fuck, sweet girl, you wanna scream my name?” He removed his pants and briefs in one motion, his cock spring up, hard and leaking precum and you licked your lips, giving a little whimper at the sight of him. Frankie grasped himself, pumping his hand a few times as he stood over you, “Like what you see?”

“Jesus, Frankie-you need a new nickname,” You said, eyes glued to his cock, “Catfish makes no sense when you’re walking around with that fucking bat-wait!” He froze in the middle of removing his ball cap, looking at you with concern to see you bite your lip a little shyly, “Keep it on. The hat.”

Warmth spread through him at your request and Frankie replaced the hat on his head, then dropped to his knees next to the bed, his hands running up your thighs as you writhed. At your waist, he grasped the tops of your yoga pants and tugged them down, enjoying the way your body arched when you lifted your hips to help him. The only item of clothing either of you wore now was you in your bra, and fuck were you a sight.

Frankie gazed up at you from the floor in awe, his eyes roving over you hungrily as you watched him, propped up on your elbows. He started kissing up your thighs then, pushing your legs apart and spreading you, his hands kneading your flesh. “Sweet girl, you have such a pretty pussy, better than I imagined.” He moaned, biting into the soft flesh of your inner leg and drawing a whimper from you, “I can fucking smell you already, so wet and ready for me, fuck.”

“Oh god Frankie, please, touch me. I can’t wait anymore, I need you!”

“Told you,” Frankie climbed over top of you, his legs on either side of your body as he reached down and dragged you further onto the bed, his show of strength making you whimper, “It’s been a while. And you walk around here wearing my fucking clothes all the time. You don’t know what you do to me, Sunshine.” He grunted as he repositioned himself between your legs, his hands grasping the backs of them to haul your body against his, his cock pressed painfully against your thigh, “Gonna fuck you, sweet girl.” And with one careful, quick motion he thrust forward and each of you cried out at the pleasure of Frankie filling you.

“Frankie! Oh!” Your legs wrapped around him instantly, urging him as deep as possible as he split you open so deliciously. Once he was fully seated within you, Frankie dropped forward, propping himself on one arm, and cupped your face with his free hand. He looked into your eyes as he started a fast, hard pace, thrusting deep and reeling over how wet you were for him, how perfectly your velvet folds wrapped around him.

“Fuck, cariño, you’re fucking tight,” He grunted, kissing you sloppily as you threw your arms around him, hugging him close, “So tight for me, so perfect making those pretty noises, fuck.” Frankie groaned when you clenched around him as he spoke, “You like it when I tell you how perfect you are?”

“Ye-yeah Frankie, I love it. Oh, fuck!”

You were trembling now, squeezing him each time he whispered in your ear. Frankie kept up a string of praises and filthy words, taking note of the ones that had you gripping him extra hard.

He’d always had a casual enjoyment of dirty talk, nothing over the top, easy enough to shut off if it wasn’t enjoyed by the other person. But something about talking like this to you had his balls tightening that much faster, his thrusts becoming brutal.

Still murmuring in your ear, Frankie lowered his hand to your clit, experimentally rubbing, circling and pinching it to see what you liked. He was going to cum soon, and he’d be damned if you didn’t cum too. Though, as Frankie settled on circling you, both feeling and hearing how this was definitely how you liked it, his worries quickly dissipated when your hips were suddenly bucking up to meet his and you were screaming his name.

“That’s it, let go for me sweet girl,” Frankie’s thrusts were becoming increasingly sloppy as he neared the edge, “Are you-fuck, where should I?” He couldn’t even form a sentence now, he was so close and you were squeezing around him so perfectly as you closed in on your orgasm.

You understood though, your eyes meeting his as you pulled yourself together enough to reply, “Frankie, cum inside me please, please fill me up, pleasepleaseplease-“

“Fuck! H-here you go, perfect little thing!” He roared, dropping his weight over your and growling as he spilled inside you, as you bucked and writhed beneath him and screamed out, toppling over the edge and into oblivion with him. He heard himself cursing in Spanish as he experienced the most intense orgasm of his entire life, his hips slowing to continue to draw it out, still more cum filling you and you were a wreck under him, shivering and moaning.

“Yes, Frankie, yes.” You whimpered, your hands sliding into his hair-knocking his cap off-and tugging at his curls.

It took several minutes to recover, though Frankie had enough awareness to shift his weight so that you could breathe properly. Still hard inside you, he began to kiss you all over, peppering your face and neck before biting a few more marks into your neck, his tongue laving out to soothe. He enjoyed the way you whimpered when overstimulated, twitching when he pinched your nipple over your bra, squeaking his name when he pressed himself as deep inside you as he could one last time before pulling out.

Frankie collapsed on the bed next to you, then quickly tugged you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. His fear began to bubble back up now that the haze of passion was clearing, and he was starting to question every single moment that had occurred since you'd asked him if he was a tits man or an ass man.

What had he done? Was he going to lose you after this? Lose his entire reason for living for one amazing orgasm?

But it was like you could reach his mind, as only a few minutes had passed and then, with a little groan, you pulled yourself up so that you were on your elbow, looking down at Frankie. You took one look at his face and frowned, “That was quicker than I thought.”

Frankie stared at you, “What was?”

“I guessed it would take more than two minutes for you to start regretting this.”

Sighing, he pulled himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed. You followed, but crossed your legs and shuffled next to him. “I meant what I said, I love you,” Frankie explained, rubbing a hand over his face, “I love you so much, so fucking much it hurts. But the idea of messing this up is terrifying me, Sunshine. I don’t think I could lose you, I think it would kill me.”

“Frankie,” You crawled over him, straddling his hips and settling into his lap. You cupped his face firmly, looking into his eyes. Your expression was open, warm and vulnerable and a little incredulous, “You aren’t going to lose me, not ever. I want this-I want you, and everything you come with, okay?”

Though his heart was soaring, Frankie still worried, shaking his head, “I come with a lot of dark baggage, sweet girl. Not to mention the age difference.”

“Jesus, Frankie, do you really think I don’t know what I’m saying when I tell you I’m all in?” You asked him, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “I love you. Can I tell you when I knew?”

Frankie peered at you, his hands coming to hold your waist as he nodded.

“The boys trip.” You stated, using the term each of you agreed upon when referencing his three-week disappearance to Columbia. “When you first left, I knew something was off but I trust you, so I didn’t question it. But then after a few days, with no word from you, I started to really worry,” You paused, momentarily lost in thought, eyes dark now with the painful memory of his absence and the little information you’d come to learn about it since. “Did I ever tell you I booked a ticket to Columbia?”

This caught Frankie off guard because you most certainly had not told him that, “What, are you serious?”

“Yep. Booked it for the day after you ended up calling me. I don’t know what I was planning to do, but I knew you were there and, even if you were dead, I needed to be as well.” You stroked your thumbs over his cheeks, “After you called, and I knew you were alive and coming home, I realized that the way you said it meant you almost didn’t make it home, and I knew you weren’t saying something. I hung up and sat in my room for a minute and it occurred to me that you could have died and I would have never seen you again. That was when I knew it wasn’t just a crush.”

Heavy emotion filled his chest, rendering him unable to immediately respond. Frankie gathered you close and stood, clutching you against him and carrying you into the bathroom. He set you on the toilet before turning to his massive soaker tub and switching it on, fully intending on spending the rest of the night in there with you. When he turned around, you were carefully tidying yourself up. With a grunt, he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water before kneeling in front of you and taking over.

“Why didn’t you say anything? After I came home, I mean.” His tone was light, as he didn’t mean to come across as accusing you of anything-it’s not like he had said anything to you. Good-natured as you were, you simply smiled at him, a little sadly.

“Too afraid, right at first,” You admitted, your eyes fluttering shut as he took care of you with the warm washcloth, “But when you came home you were a fucking wreck, Frankie. You lost your friend, Santi didn’t come back with you either, and Will and Benny had the same expression on their faces whenever I saw them. You saw some shit, did some shit, I don’t know and I’ll be real here, I don’t need you to ever feel like you should tell me what exactly happened. But after the first day you were back, I could see how much it changed you and I thought it would be selfish to tell you how I felt and add more emotional bullshit onto your plate.”

Frankie continued to kneel in front of you after tossing the washcloth into his laundry hamper. For a moment, the only sound in the room that of the tub filling. He stared into your eyes, seeing only how truthful you were being, how incredibly kind. He had never realized how completely he could love someone until he met you.

“I thought about you the entire time I was gone.” He admitted before carefully standing and checking the temperature of the water. He added a bath salt mixture that you’d bought a while ago, claiming it was a gift when really you were the one to use them, locking yourself away for hours to soak because you didn’t have a tub at your place. He shut the water off and held his arms out for you, which you eagerly stepped into and allowed him to guide you both into the water.

Once settled, your back against his chest, you replied. “Your face when you came home, I’ll never forget your expression.” His legs were on either side of you, and you began to lazily trace along his right thigh as both of you fell into your painful memories of his ill-fated trip.

Frankie sighed sadly, “I’m sorry I ever left, Sunshine. I never should have left you,” He tightened his grip around your waist under the water, one hand spread flat across your stomach, “It was just...fuck, everything went bad straight from the start. We had a moment of luck and then it was like nothing could go right. And I don’t know, I’m fucking gutted that Tom is gone, but it’s worse that Santiago won’t come home. He’s like my brother, and he blames himself for everything.”

Frankie knew you had no idea what he meant. You knew he and the guys were former special ops that served together, but when Santi had asked him to go to Columbia Frankie had only told you the basics-the country, who he would be with, that he might not have a lot of chances to call, and that it would be about a week. Santi had picked him up and you had been there to see him off that morning, and his friend had casually referenced a ‘boys trip’ while speaking with you as Frankie loaded his shit in the back.

Of course, you weren’t stupid. You worked with the VA, met a lot of former service members who ended up contracting out their skills after retiring or leaving due to injuries or lifestyle changes. And you knew Frankie, understood him like no one ever had before, which is why as he gave you further details you didn’t flinch or freeze up, you simply listened. When Frankie had gone quiet for a while, you eventually turned to gaze up at him over your shoulder, your cheek on his chest.

“From what I could tell,” You began slowly, your words cautious, “Whatever you did, what happened, you all put it aside to get Tom’s body home to his family. And considering the type of work Santi was doing out there for three years before he came here to ask you guys to join him, I figure you all must have almost died a few times each, probably took out some terrible men along the way.”

Frankie had to bite back his sob, turning his face away from you to stare, ashamed and remorseful at the wall. You reacted quickly, pulling yourself up and turning over, your naked body pressing over his as you grabbed Frankie’s head and gently turned him to look at you. “Baby,” You cooed, your eyes shining with concern, “Don’t do that, don’t hide from me.”

That was all it took. Frankie let the sob out and the relief of it was instantaneous, so much so that he let out another, then another, all while you held him and murmured soft, sweet words and pressing chaste kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, along his jaw. It didn’t last long, he’d cried so many times over everything that had gone down, but this was the first time you had revealed you sort of had an idea of what they had been up to, and you were still supporting him and loving him and it was all very overwhelming.

A short time later, Frankie wiped his eyes and shot you a grateful look, hoping you could sense how much he appreciated you. You settled into the water again, knees pulled to your chest as you faced him and trailed your hands comfortingly up and down his chest. “Sunshine,” He whispered, catching one hand and holding it against his heart, “I love you, thank you for being so fucking incredible.”

He tugged you closer, joining you in laughing when a little water sloshed up over the edge of the tub as you landed against him. You snuggled close and kissed him, your fingers carding into his curls and holding him steady. When Frankie took you to bed that night, there were no pillows between your bodies, not a shred of clothing separating you. He held you close, falling asleep faster than he had in years.

And for the first time in Frankie’s life, he felt whole and complete, like nothing could ever bring him into darkness again, not when he had you, literal sunshine, lighting his existence.

PART TWO

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@mermaidxatxheart @paintballkid711

[legionofpotatoes]

black widow thonks with spoilers under the cut. because I'm a marvel retrospective blog now I guess

(being in cinemas again is exciting. leave me alone)

A Movie. fits right into that mcu sweet spot of better than I feared, worse than I hoped

better because the first half does seemingly functional dramatic setups, doesn't shy away from quiet moments of interiority, tries to establish a bespoke narrative to operate in, has a weird enough opening that you can chalk up to it being "good" until we see how it's all addressed later on

worse cause second half is an mcu's greatest hits bonanza with clunky payoffs and reverse engineered catharsis shoehorning emotional development into some sort of avengers-need-me endpoint like it's a fridge being pushed into a carry-on suitcase with "franchise continuity" written on it

yelena/florence absolutely delightful. if she's taking over the character that could be nice! I think that girl has very pretty eyes. her acting/humor/accent was very good and really the only functional relationship with natasha in this entire ass movie

adjacent thought: accents overall were good, but some "major" beats were delivered in straight-up russian and. eurgh. horrible pronunciation. weird how this stuff doesnt get vetted on big boy hollywood sets. meanwhile they have one actual russian actor and they're mute the whole time. baller

re: clunky payoffs. major dramatic beat in the end is "sorry I left you, sister" despite the opening showing us the exact opposite. natasha fiercely protecting her from shit dad. whereas the actual defection from the red room is explained away in words and pieces across the movie. "show don't tell" isn't a tired platitude, and would help a LOT here if we saw that moment fit in the dramatic coherence of their past relationship chronologically. feels trivial but catharsis really is just setups and payoffs and making them CLEAR to follow. feel confident complaining about this more than anything else tbh

lots of other examples but this one felt easiest to "get right" in existing framework. other stuff like relationship with rest of the widows/dreykov/his daughter all harder to wrap my head around despite feeling short-changed overall. and like I can't claim to be able to doctor movie scripts or anything

but the parents! what the fuck! way to waste david harbour and rachel weisz! how is his shitty psychology not interrogated/prodded in any way. I did nothing wrong because my daughters grew up into effective brainwashed killers. makes them sad when I say that for some reason. here's a lil song I remember from back when I was lying to you about everything. feel better and move forward please, need to brag more about being cool

mom was overall better handled but the double-triple-quadruple turncoating at the end with constant callbacks and timeline cuts let all the air out of any possible dramatic payoff. functionally speaking it all literally happened in that closet while they were swapping outfits I guess? and we see bits and pieces of it for the sake of plot and not emotion? Weird Choice. but that's just me. idk

you can really tell the exact moment an mcu script hits "fuck it" and throws hands in air as nonsense plot device meter hits peak readings. aggression cancelling man-pheromones was that moment for me. literally what the fuck lmao. I guess the writers room felt strongly about it cause it fits as a wacko metaphor? for a dude manipulating and abusing women? okay. you know. good choice in an espionage thriller. I think it's fucking stupid still! and at the very LEAST warranted some sort of setup/foreshadowing to be less jarring

I get this entirely unjustifiable schadenfreude when fan favorite characters are fucked with. I imagined angry nerds frothing at the mouth about taskmaster and it brought me so much joy. I am truly not gloating I know this is a bad feeling to have. it's evil and judgmental and says more about me than anyone else.

gotta hand it a lil bit to the nerds though, having the character at least be able to speak and articulate motives/relation to natasha/at least express interiority through physical moments would be nice (good nearby example: winter soldier in cap 2). set up your mystery character reveals ya ding dongs. and be a bit heavyhanded about them if needed I promise it's okay. but when did drama and story matter more than plot to marvel? I generally found taskmaster a great overall story beat on paper but it's all the clunky drama around them that failed the execution. more context around That Moment in budapest, a few insert shots of physical micro expressions, actual dialogue during the reveal, idk. probably not as easy to improve this and I'm being a bit flippant but it really does look good on paper to me but then it all feeling empty and pointless by the end is not something I can deny

the incredibly hot dude natasha keeps around for Spy Stuff Procurement. whose name I already forgot. would be nice to give him a Moment, yannow. he literally IS a plot device with no dramatic function around him. everything he did/motivated in the plot could easily be written into nat's pov to save runtime. so why include him at all? it's not like big corporations tend to chase after tokenism in their tentpole films right fellas

so. natasha. the actual titular person in the middle of all this. I can be a bit high brow with my semiotic dissection of these potato salad movies but the fact that your main hero should.. like. change somehow. by the end of a movie. isn't that the whole point of storytelling? flawed personhood goes through crucible of personal challenge and achieves meaningful change. I feel like drama needs to really be blasted at me full-force, because maybe I missed it but did natasha change?

her big mission statement in the end is something like. "turns out I have two families, time to fix the other one". but a) the current one is still fucked up (but okay, it's really about yelena, I'll give it a pass), and b) sort of implies that THIS movie is what spurred her to stop being on the run alone and decide to instead be on the run with steve. which is. a baffling emotional result because why couldn't she do it earlier. we need to know these reasons to make any of this mumbo jumbo work. why was she not with steve in the beginning? "I'm better off alone" throwaway lines probably, yeah. I don't remember. okay why then? interrogate her self-isolation motives a bit more? tie them somehow in her catharsis with yelena? fucking. setups and payoffs. riddle your films with them and make them CLEAR and I PROMISE it's so much more satisfying. I mean for me it is. if you got anything out of her declaration in the end, in all honesty, power to ya

...no sorry I can't get over the attack canceling man pheromones it's so fucking stupid lmao

[brooklynboysficrecs]

Ria’s Top 10 Shrinkyclinks Fics

I will admit this isn’t my preferred AU -- I won’t immediately jump on a fic just because it’s pre-serum Steve and WS Bucky. I gotta like the plot, or the premise, or be really, really intrigued by the tags, but to be fair, that’s how I am with everything that isn’t Modern Bucky and Cap Steve, so. That being said, I have read some truly fantastic shrinkyclinks stories, and I do very much love Steven “Fight Me” Rogers at his scrappiest. And these fics also tend to feature protective!Bucky which is another personal favorite of mine. Oh, but also: shrinkyclinks generally refers to pre-serum Steve with actual Winter Soldier Bucky, but a lot of people use the tag just to imply body types, and when they say WS Bucky they mean he’s all huge and muscled and sometimes has a metal arm, though that isn’t required. That’s the definition I’m going with as well, so hopefully nothing’s confusing!

1. If Wishing Made It So by leveragehunters. Before I get into anything about the actual fic, let me say this: leveragehunters is probably my favorite stucky writer. Like, hands-down, I read almost everything they write, and they’re big into fantasy stories, which is a great bonus for me personally. So, so, so many good shrinkyclinks fics by them (Even Underneath the Waves, a mermaid AU that features equal amounts of pre- and post-serum Steve, and A-mage-ing Grace with mage Steve are two of my other favorites, and they would’ve been on the list, but I try not to put more than one story per author, ya know? And IWMIS kinda wins out above the others for me, so). This story features jinn!Bucky who finds himself in the baffled hands of Steve Rogers, who is perfectly prickly and stubborn and good. Bucky’s got a terrible past with humans in general (and Hydra in particular, what a shocker) that he and Steve have to overcome as their relationship progresses, but that progression is frankly beautiful to watch unfold. I come back to this story time and time again because of how much I love these versions of Steve and Bucky getting to know one another, learning to trust each other, supporting each other through the worst the world has to throw at them. Plus, there’s a few more stories in this series if you get as hooked as I am, which is always great!!

2. Roots Have Grown by AustinB. I remember reading this and just... completely feeling what Bucky is going through. Not everything -- he’s an agoraphobic veteran, and I can’t relate to either of those, really, but he’s so... awkward about his crush on Steve. And that’s -- that’s relatable to me. But it’s precious, really, how he tries to help Steve even though he’s afraid to actually meet him initially; he becomes Steve’s sort of... anonymous benefactor? Guardian angel with money? Like, it’s definitely a sugar daddy type deal originally but I doubt Bucky would describe it like that. I don’t know, it’s cute, though, and I loved seeing Bucky opening up to Steve as they became closer. 

3. Through The Woods by VenusMonstrosa, alby_mangroves. Okay, hear me out: werewolves. I fucking love werewolves in fiction; I mean, not really the romance novels you’ll see in the grocery store, but. Werewolf mythology is one of my favorite things, so seeing it in fanfiction almost always manages to lure me in. And I was so not disappointed with this story! Steve’s living alone in a cabin in the woods, which of course sounds like the opening to a horror movie, but here it leads to love. Werewolf Bucky is both charming and terrifying, to a degree, he’s a wolf, but he and Steve are fantastic together. This is another story that goes in on the trust aspect of their relationship and I for one am a big fan of that. There’s some violence, minor character death and the like, but it’s definitely not undeserved so. If you can handle that (and the sex, because there is sex in this) then I highly recommend this one!

4. The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat. And so we move from werewolves to dragons. Yup. Dragons. Another of my beloved mythical creatures that I obsessed over when I was kid. Bucky’s capable of shifting into a human in this, but primarily he’s a big ol’ dragon that surprisingly doesn’t want to eat the scrawny sacrifice from the local village. Steve ends up working for Bucky, instead, and from there hilarity ensues. Steve’s obviously wary of Bucky, but Bucky isn’t at all what he’d been expecting, and they grow closer the longer Steve’s staying in Bucky’s caves. There are a couple of stories with Dragon!Bucky, but this is my personal favorite; it’s cute and heart-warming and, well. I just really like it. 

5. I Just Want to Love You in My Own Language by agetwellcard, inediblesushi. So this one has Cap!Bucky (Bucky!Cap?) but again, sometimes it’s more about how Bucky looks rather than his role as the Winter Soldier. Anyway, I remember my biggest take away from this story was how adorable Bucky was in his quest to win the affections of sassy Nurse Steve, who patches him up after missions and is probably playing hard to get. Bucky uses terrible pick-up lines, absolutely awful, and he is completely unashamed of that fact. Which is, as I said, adorable. Steve, initially, does not agree with my assessment, but he gets there eventually. After some requisite drama, of course.

6. Tint & Shade by forestofbabel. Oh, god, this one hurt me, I remember that pretty clearly. Bucky is the Winter Soldier in this, and Steve is a 21st century art therapist who just so happens to resemble his late grandfather, Captain Joseph Rogers, who fought in -- you guessed it -- WWII. Like I said in the intro, if I really like the premise of something I’ll usually read it regardless of the configuration of pre-/post-serum Steve and pre-serum/WS Bucky, and this was definitely one of the fics I got into for that reason. Having actual WS Bucky interact with a modern pre-serum Steve is always interesting, given how much they don’t have in common, generally (there isn’t even really the veteran status that modern Bucky sometimes has in fics), and it’s a journey to see how and why they connect. Having Steve resemble his WWII era grandfather caught my attention, and the fic itself made me grateful that I decided to go for it in the first place. This is another one where is trust is key to their relationship, considering the mental/emotional state Bucky is in at the beginning. Very good story overall!

7. Fourth Floor by dirtybinary, mithborien, picoalloe. So dirtybinary has written some amazing stucky fics, which is why I was so excited when I saw this being posted initially (a few years ago, but still). There’s magic! Mystery! Suspense! Some NatSharon! Looking this over, I’m wondering if I should’ve saved it for the Urban Fantasy list I wanna do (and If Wishing Made It So, if I’m being honest) but I do like it for the shrinkyclinks list. The writing is great, the characterization of Steve and Bucky is great, and like, they live in what is essentially a magical apartment complex, so what’s better than that? 

8. my heart tells me you are lonely, too by FanGirling. Alright, so I read this one as it was being published, and the slow burn about killed me. You know, in a good way, though. Bucky lives in Steve and his mother’s apartment building, trying to figure out where to go with his life now that he’s broken free of Hydra and gotten his autonomy back. He’s obviously wary, skittish, but he takes a liking to Sarah Rogers when she reaches out to befriend him, surprised anyone wants to be near him let alone take the time to get to know him. Steve... is not so easily sold on Bucky. And I’m not gonna spoil anything here, but the shit these two go through is intense, and I cried a lot during this fic, sometimes out of frustration because they’re both ridiculous about their feelings (of course Bucky’s fears are valid, the man has been through literal hell, but also I was internally screaming a little as Bucky continually talked himself out of getting closer to Steve.) I wanted to wrap the both of them in about thirty blankets for pretty much the entire length of the fic. God. They’re just -- they’re so incredibly sweet in this one, once they work past their issues (Bucky and Steve are both more than a little messed up from their respective circumstances, but they make it work). Mind the tags on this one, also, especially because there is a chapter that deals with attempted sexual assault against Steve (obviously not with Bucky!), but Bucky handles the situation before anything truly nasty happens, that I can promise. 

9. Local Raccoon Befriends Angry Chihuahua by charlesdk. This is yet another author I really love; they have a fantastic farmer!Steve/Modern!WS!Bucky story that I love to bits, as well as other great fics. But anyway, this one. The title sold me the second I saw it, honestly, I can’t even pretend that wasn’t the deciding factor in me reading this. I don’t think I can really do any better than the summary in explaining why I recommend it; feisty tiny Steve and lovestruck grumpy Bucky are a winning combination in my book. This one does feature the boys dealing with homophobia and ableism, though I can’t recall how severe it is. So I’d just mind the tags, and if you’re alright with them, thoroughly enjoy this story. 

10. The Road to Hell is Paved with Tony’s Good Intentions by pinlilli. Bucky as a mail-order Russian bride. That’s the detail that pretty much demanded I click on this fic, and oh my god, it was even better than I ever could’ve expected. Tony, in a bid to help Steve get over his awful ex-boyfriend (fuck Brock Rumlow in every universe, honestly), literally orders him a husband -- in the form of beefy James Barnes, who is a fucking gem and I will not hear one bad word against him. He does chores, it’s lovely and adorable, and you will definitely fall just as hard as Steve does. There’s some canon-typical violence in this one that relates to James’ past, but nothing super graphic as far as I remember. Again, Rumlow is a dick and should be treated as such, but he’s hardly the most important part of this fic and I urge everyone to take a look at it if they’re as intrigued by Bucky being a mail-order husband as I was. 

[geraltcirilla]

I think Sharon’s fight scene was great but when I step away from it, there are some other stuff that is lackluster. And Sam not being at the center of the story is lackluster. I’m hoping the next episode picks back up. I’m hoping that it’s just intended to move the last 3 episodes along. But I did think the action within the episode felt marvel movie like. Had they added an hour and 40 minutes to it - with consistent writing, it could have sold as a movie I think. But like with more you know?

I have a LOT of issues with the episode.

Sam being sidelined at every opportunity so Bucky and Zemo could be the primary focus: Sam didn't go in to see Zemo or go with Bucky to see Ayo, Sam didn't help breaking Zemo out of prison or even get a say in if they would, Sam had no part in developing any sort of plan for Madripoor and certainly want a leader in those scenes, and Sam had no significant scene with Sharon despite being the only character with a personal connection and history with her - he's her closest friend in Team Cap after Steve.

The dialogue was so AWKWARD and weird. Everything was an exposition dump to lead into the next scene. A character would show up and within three minutes have explained everything we needed to know, then fuck off somewhere. Sharon IMMEDIATELY started going off the second we met her getting us caught up and talking about her feelings? That chick in Madripoor told us everything about the super soldier serum and who develops it etc?

It was a giant episode of scene transitions. We just went from scene to scene to scene and the characters had no time to breath or reflect.

Ultimately it was an incredibly rushed episode. Like you said it would've made a great movie but it was a bad 54 minute episode. Things that would normally bug Sam and Bucky about Zemo rolled right of their shoulders because THERE IS NO TIME FOR BRAIN USAGE.

Characters were OOC: 1) Zemo's characterization was not at all consistent with who he was in CA:CW and was changed from a tortured genius villain to.... A Loki. They Loki'd him. He's so quirky and funny, he's not a black-and-white villain, one second he's on your side the next he's betrayed you! He read critical race theory in prison and is super woke now, also he's fan of Marvin Gaye! 2) Sharon isn't just angry or betrayed, she's downright accusatory bitter and resentful. Which isn't even what I feel is so OOC... She's a criminal now? Runs a criminal enterprise? Has shady deals on the side? Thinks superheroes are stupid, called Bucky a "pet psychopath"? This was a woman who stood against HYDRA and had that iconic line "captain's orders", who said "even if the whole world is telling you something wrong is something right, plant yourself like a tree and tell them no, you move". This ain't Sharon character is a character from John Wick or CyberPunk 2077. 3) Bucky... Ohoho. So he's so invested in catching super soldiers he's willing to prison break Zemo? Is it worth it? Why does he care so much? Why is this so important? Not only is Zemo far more dangerous than any of those Flag Smashers or super soldiers, but he personally framed Bucky, triggered Bucky, and killed King T'Chaka. The Wakandans helped Bucky, sheltered him, gave him protection, healed his mind and gave him a new arm. This is how he thanks them? And no matter how many times Zemo betrayed him this episode he defended him to Sam and kept insisting "we need him". 4) Sam is what broke my heart. He's supposed to be the leader of the group and our Captain America. He was relegated to a passenger this episode. He lets Bucky prison break Zemo despite being against it, he goes along with all Zemo's crazy shenanigans without pushing back or arguing, he continuously let's Bucky convince him to trust Zemo despite Zemo being very obviously untrustworthy. He was steamrolled a dozen times this episode and was a leader exactly zero. Also Bucky and Sam were taking about their feelings in front of Zemo. The mind manipulator who caused civil war among the avengers. In what universe???

The jokes weren't funny and were often negatively targeting Sam in racially charged ways. This show deals a lot with racism and microaggressions and the black experience in America. Yet somehow the writer of this episode felt it appropriate to make several pimp jokes about Sam, call his outfit a pimp suit, had a (disgusting imo) scene where Sam pretends to pimp talk to Sarah on the phone (they literally reduced him down to a caricature), has Zemo talk about the black experience and Sam agree with him?? Have Sam look at a photo of another black man and be like "yeah he looks like me", have Zemo describe Sam as being a black criminal underground lord like he's gotta behave that way. They mentioned more times in this one episode Sam was black than in every other episode combined and all of it was related to a joke. Other jokes I hated: Bucky saying "Sharon kinda sucks now" and Sharon calling Bucky a "pet psychopath" and Zemo saying Bucky would "do whatever you want" as the super soldier. Kinda fucking unfunny and offensive imo. Everyone came off looking like a dick this episode.

If you've got the attention span of a teenager watching vine then maybe you enjoyed this episode. If you don't give a shit about any of the characters maybe you enjoyed this episode. I didn't.

This episode was the Marvel Debut of Derek Kolstad who is the creator writer and director of the John Wick movies. So I'm not at all surprised this episode was trash. John Wick is a plot and fight based movie and doesn't care much for characters or relationships. Derek doesn't know how to write unless it's *crude joke* pew pew pew. There's a reason Sharon's fight scene was the only good part of this episode. That's all that motherfucker knows how to write. He doesn't know what dialogue or women are. Also he's white so the pimp jokes are starting to make sense.

[wastelandcth]

online love - cth

okay so this came to life based off of a conversation that i had one night about tik toks, calum hood, and how they’re literally an amazing singer/songwriter!

              _________________________________

When Calum woke up to find his name trending on twitter, he felt a wave of panic run through him. Social media had never been something he enjoyed, especially when he was the main subject that people were talking about. Clicking the trending subject that stated in all caps, "CALL ME CALUM HOOD" he wasn't really sure what he was expecting to see. He scrolled through a few tweets, his eyebrows furrowing as he read through fans tweets about a girl who'd been posting about him. It felt like ages before Calum finally found the main reason why everyone online was talking about him, a link to a tik tok, and a twitter account tagging him in it. 

Calum had been having a night where his mind wouldn't stop turning with ideas for songs and lyrics. The time on his phone was way past what any normal human would like to see and still be awake, the only lights on in Calum's house being the one in his studio. His bass was in his hands as he strummed along to the beat he'd recorded earlier that night. His notebook was on the desk in front of him, messy lyrics scribbled on the lines as he tried to make sense of how he could combine the music and lyrics to make a somewhat decent sound. But no matter how hard his brain tried to finish writing the music and lyrics, he seemed to be hitting a wall, his mind frustrated with itself. And as the clock hit four in the morning, Calum had tried to record what seemed like the thousandth try of the song with no success. He eventually found himself opening his Instagram, uploading one of the takes to gauge how the fans would react to the sound he was working on, making sure to add a caption about how he was dealing with writer's block. His eyes were drooping by the time his video uploaded, his bass being set down carefully before he made his way back to his bedroom, his body falling into the mattress as his eyes finally closed. 

Opening the tik tok app to her video, Calum immediately recognized the chords from what he'd been playing last night. Her soft voice made Calum's eye widen, it was gentle and sweet which reminded him of summer. The lyrics she sang out weren't what he'd sung last night, but the meaning behind them matched what he'd wanted to convey, what he couldn't write. Before he could even finish the video, Calum's phone was blowing up with notifications from the rest of the guys about the video, all of them agreeing that he had to message her about it. She'd basically called him out on the internet about it too, how could Calum not reply? Plus, it didn't hurt that the song was actually good. 

He'd been staring at her profile for ten minutes before he'd finally decided to send the message that the guys had helped him write. Quickly exiting out of Twitter, Calum decided to walk over to his studio and listen to her voice again, recording his own version of the song and working with it while he tried to ignore the nervousness that had settled in his stomach. 

"Hey! It's Calum Hood! I saw your video and I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed it, you have an amazing voice. I was wondering if you'd be up to working together? Maybe we can Skype or something? Let me know :)" 

Calum felt his pulse quicken when his phone went off with a notification from twitter, his eyes flicking to the screen of his phone as he sighed in relief when he noticed it was her. Opening the app, he smiled to himself as he read through her reply which consisted of her asking him if he was being serious and that she would be crazy to say no to him. It wasn't long before they were both exchanging information with promises of video chatting to work on the song.

He was nervous, his palms felt clammy and the guitar in his lap felt heavier than normal. Even as his laptop rang out and showed her picture on the screen, he felt himself trying to find the courage to answer the call, and after three rings, he finally did. She has beautiful, her smile was addicting and Calum seemed to find himself lost in her voice. The way the words sounded so smooth and like honey as they left her made him want to listen to her talk forever. He felt his nerves slip away as their conversations ranged from the song to other music that they both liked and even to their favorite type of ice cream flavors. Before Calum even noticed, it was eleven at night and they were both yawning, trying to escape sleep so they could talk more. 

Skype calls at night turned into good morning text messages which turned into promises of seeing each other soon. And a few weeks later when the song was released and fans on Twitter were freaking out about how the girl who'd called Calum out on twitter had managed to feature on a song with him and the rest of the band, Calum found himself at dinner with her. Laughs were shared over spaghetti sauce on his shirt and comments were whispered in the movie theater about plot lines to one another. At the end of the night, as Calum drove them through the streets of LA, they couldn't help but laugh as the song played through the radio, both of them singing at the top of their lungs as the streetlights passed about them. 

"I'm trying find the words to say because I might be going crazy. All these thoughts roamin' in my head with those midnight conversations, talking about those reservations we would have if we only met. Yet it’s safe to say that you’re the only thing that makes my day with your name on my broken screen. Hope this isn't just an online love because you don't know how much you fucking mean to me."

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ep 6 liveblog/commentary under the cut (finally) ... so many screenshots inside. I’m not sorry? ]

this is fairly stream of consciousness as I was watching in between bouts of tutoring so it’s less Massive Thinky Thoughts than usual, but w/e, it’s a commentary!

They said no fly zone and I was immediately concerned. If Sam goes out there with the wings, I hope he doesn’t get shot at. On the flip side, Bucky just “Sergeant Barnes” his way in, huh?

I appreciate them using the holo-face tech again so it’s not a throwaway, but also having those makes everything so messy. In the meantime though look at this pause face XD

WHEN CAP SLINGS HIS MIGHTY SHIIIIEEELD

“I thought Captain America was on the moon.” Who spread this rumor widely enough for members of the GRC to believe it?? lmao

“A baguette and a few French fries.” Sam’s sass will never stop being top tier. Also I love that both Caps get to fight Batroc. Yay parallels!

“You don’t think I’ve ever fought for something bigger than myself? That’s all I’ve ever tried to do, and I’ve failed twice.” Ow. Bucky, you’ve kept Steve safe all throughout WWII, you’ve been part of the fight with Thanos and helped the Avengers win, you’ve fought your own mind for the greater good, healed the damage and the trigger words in order not to become a weapon against people, stop thinking of your failures ;_; (I say as my Nat muse shrugs sympathetically in my head)

Bucky showing off the same compassion as Sam with Karli? <chef’s kiss> Bucky on a motorcycle again? <double chef’s kiss>

Sharon I see you with that trick. We stan a smart woman!! Not gonna lie I did think it was a tracker at first though. Ruthless. Way more ruthless than Sam would approve of...

I’m not gonna lie, seeing the difference in fighting style between Steve and Sam with the shield is just so fun? Sam gets to work far more in three dimensions, he uses the repulsors and the wings and the shield all in tandem. It’s like seeing a cross between Steve and Tony in some ways, but with the added acrobatics. It’s cool!

Seeing Karli’s supporters starting to question her and her extremism is rewarding. I’ve known multiple people who have come from backgrounds that were pretty close to brainwashing that have slowly broken out of it over time, either due to seeing how twisted things were towards the top or increased exposure to people who weren’t part of their (forcibly) exclusive group. It’s a hell of a wake up call. And that extremism continues for Karli, setting the truck on fire. How much are her friends following out of genuine commitment vs out of obligation vs out of fear?

Walker’s “you don’t think Lemar’s life mattered” is the realest anger from him that I’ve been able to identify yet. At least if he’s fighting them, Bucky’s getting a chance to save the hostages.

“Boy you just earned this ass-whoopin’!” XD XD XD

And there we have the contrast: John continuing to fight single-mindedly instead of giving a damn about the people trapped and burning to death. He doesn’t always think those lives matter. The parallels with Karli build. And of course she’s getting her ass kicked to some extent because Walker is a trained fighter, she’s far more someone working on instinct. But good on him for trying at the last minute to save them anyway.

We knew Sam was gonna save the day but damn it feels good to see it!! I love the concept of him with his human strength augmented only by the tech he wears (like Tony!) wearing the wings of an angel, saving people with superhuman compassion and a brain that lights up like the fourth of July. That’s our new Cap, folks, the one that we needed.

Bucky’s smile in response I’m !!

BUCKY’S MURDERFACE WHEN KARLI THROWS THE ROD !!!

Sam knocking out five people with the shield, you work them angles, babe !!!!!!!

Is it Sharon backstory time? It sure fuckin’ is!! Holy shit she’s got so much more invested in this fight than a pardon, and her face here is just so genuinely hurt?? Ow. But also cool the Power Broker theory was true. Honestly props to her for rising to the top and finding a way to keep tabs on the whole world while legit exiled. That said, she’s got to have done some incredibly problematic shit to get there so we’ll see what shakes down from that.

LOOK AT HER FACE

Aw fuck of course she’s been shot. Gonna skin someone if she doesn’t make it, but given how they had her moving after, she should be fine. People in the MCU have come back from far worse lol

THE CRUX OF THE SHOW RIGHT HERE. SAM WILSON EVERYONE.

If this murderball wasn’t the antagonist, Nat would be cheering her on, look at how fierce!

But also Sam ;_;

Okay, feels aside, check out the way that when the shield gets punched, Sam instinctively pre-empts being shoved back by deploying his wings, digging them into the ground to reinforce his stance. You can see here that he’s got it tripod style behind him, knees bent to absorb the shock and keep him balanced but flexible while he takes the blow. Whoever planned and choreographed this knew their shit. This here martial artist approves!

“Stay down!” “No.”

“Lincoln, really?” “Great man, great quote.” “Not when you say it.” Pfffft.

Karli’s desperation for Sam to fight back is such a poignant note here despite the hoarse yelling, because it speaks to her need for validation, the need to believe that she’s fighting for the right reason, that the people opposing her deserve to be hurt. But if he doesn’t fight despite everything, then he’s simply not allowing her that vindication, and she has no choice but to question whether it’s right to fight him. Innocents being harmed? She can do that in an abstract way. She’s not punching or shooting them, they just happen to be there and in the way of the explosion. The GRC members? Not innocent because they’re directly taking away her ability to further her cause via passed resolutions and inadequately distributed resources. Sam is neither of those. He’s clearly fighting alongside those who oppose her, but refuses to actually fight her despite his ability to. He’s someone she can’t resolve with her ideas of the world and it’s devastating her. Even as she’s got her gun trained on him, she looks lost and has to fight to regain the nerve to shoot.

Thank you Sharon. It’s possible he could have pulled something out of the hat last minute (he did have his wings after all), and the look Sam gives her is slightly disbelieving, but I think a lot of the grief here is the fact that she’s so young and her cause has roots in a genuine problem that’s not being resolved and is impacting literally half the population of the world. Sharon looks so relieved, and it must hurt to see her protege die especially at her own hand, but she’s never been one to pull her punches (or her bullets).

How long do you think this death is going to haunt him? (Can anyone say “his whole life”?) (Also La Pieta vibes)

AN ACTUAL ANGEL oh, he lands so gently, looks so solemn, puts her on a stretcher to try to save her T_T

Sorry I totally broke the mood and laughed at “or is it Captain Falcon” because I’ve played too much SSBBM early in my life oops. Just imagine Sam as this guy, yelling “FALCON PUNCH” dsfkjgsdjfh

Okay, I’m so glad that Sam is broaching this topic in public (despite the fact that you know they’d try to move it to a private discussion immediately in real life), and that he’s trying to make people understand the struggle and make more compassionate decisions. What I found highly interesting in the cinematography here is that:

1) They pan back to Bucky occasionally to show him thoughtfully listening, not interrupting, and maybe it’s important that this be an example to follow for people who are non-minorities when a member of a minority is talking about their struggle, and

2) when he says “Every time I pick this up, I know millions of people are going to hate me for it.” they cut immediately to a close up of John Walker…

And he looks down, guilty. Maybe that’s a sign of self-recognition. Maybe there’s hope for a change. (I wouldn’t hold my breath for it though.)

Oh hell the look on Isaiah’s face. Did I cry? A little.

Bucky’s starting to smile just the teeniest bit but you know who’s also smiling? TORRES. HI BABY BOY!

Empathy, empathy, empathy. The power of the people, the power of the government, the power imbalances that make the world the way it is. Sam. Wilson. GOD I love him. Thank you, thank you.

Bucky trying to play it cool. You dumb butt XD Look at their dumb faces aaa

Ahh, Sharon. Told you she’d be fine. Just needs to see an illicit doc or something. She probably has twenty of them lined up.

I SEE YOU THEME MUSIC

Oh D: That’s… no… why death, no.

Of course Zemo is smiling, he probably arranged for the Super Soldier deaths. OR VALENTINA hello I forgot about you. Oh, US Agent outfit, proper. He’s acting like a little child with it, go figure ^^; Still haven’t figured out Valentina’s motives, I’m curious.

Aw hi Yori. Bucky being honest and making proper amends is gonna make me tear up again. But also: “by the Winter Soldier… and that was me.” WAS. WAS. THIS IS PROGRESS. “I didn’t have a choice.” P R O G R E S S. EVERY NAME CROSSED OUT. P R O G R E S S !

Sam & Isaiah. I’m so proud of them. “You’re special.” DAMN RIGHT!! Gosh I love them I love them I love them.

“I might fail. Shit, I might die. But we built this country. Bled for it. I’m not gonna let anybody tell me I can’t fight for it. Not after what everybody before me went through. Including you.”

CATCH ME TEARING UP AGAIN. They got him a memorial!

Ahhh a party! Sam smiling! Bucky roughhousing with the kids! HAPPINESS ;A;

“Welcome home Agent Carter.” Hmm this doesn’t seem like the best… ah, yep. Saw that one coming XD Look at that boss face though yow!! 

Also I’m hoping we get to see her at Peak Manipulative doing Cool Things in an Ends Justify The Means fashion because how dare that be reserved for men in superhero shows/movies? We love to see a woman about to deliver a smackdown.

closing thoughts: Lots of plot movement and action in this round, and finally an episode that was centered properly around Sam and the impact he has on the world. We saw an acknowledgement of real world struggles, steps taken to avert extremists but also steps taken to fix the core issue at the end. We see Sam saying you don’t want Karli 2.0 which reinforces the power of violent protest in otherwise peaceful movements and the fact that it’s listened to. We see a reclaiming of dignity, of owning one’s own power, of facing one’s fears and healing. We have an appropriate cliffhanger. Nothing in this episode was wildly surprising (though I though it was interesting that they went with moving the people out of the building, presumably to allow Sam greater flexibility to soar around and look cool, and also to buy them time so they didn’t get gunned down lol). On the other hand, there was nothing that I found needed to be surprising. It was a solid episode and I enjoyed it, and the resolution especially with Isaiah made me really happy. I’m eager to see what’s in store for Sharon, what Val and John are planning, and all the other shenanigans to come.

[bluu-m0on]

So I just got caught up with my hero academia

(just the anime and the movies, i’m gonna read the manga soon)

YES. THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR ALL THE SEASONS. 

NOTE: all of these are my opinions and commentary throughout the show. Don’t hate me for it. 

Warnings: cursing, caps lock, hate at first sight, mentions of abuse

basically my thoughts on each season:

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

s1  (it was aight, they made the exposition dumps fun)

- this is fun, there’s a lot of exposition, but its aight!

- Lowkey All Might’s a bit overbearing, but LORD THOSE MUSCLES LMAO

- OCHAKO YOU CINNAMON ROLL

- I don’t like Aoyama, he’s annoying.

- Thought I’d hate Iida at first, but he’s fine, would simp 8/10.

- I hate Bakugo in this. PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE DEKU.

- TF WE GETTING AMBUSHED IN THE FINALE?! YO.

- KICK EM TO THE CURB PLS.

- Tsu’s weird, but she’s growing on me.

- oh OH HOLY CRAP MINETA COULD ACTUALLY BE MORE THAN JUST A TOKEN PERVERT THANK GOD.

- FUCK YOU SHIGGY. YOU CHILD.

- AIZAWA YOU FUCKING LEGEND, I SALUTE YOU.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

s2 (Moar world and character building)

- Aight its dueling time bitchessssss

- Bakugo’s less annoying thank fuck.

- YAS 1A actually putting him in his DAMN PLACE WITHOUT GETTING VIOLENT.

- Ochako could potentially crush bakugo if he was any dumber.

- holy shit bakugo’s actually smart. I’ll give him that.

- So far Mineta’s still hasn’t crossed a line, i guess that’s good?

- DEKU IS CLASS THERAPIST CONFIRMED. BLESS HIM FOR BECOMING TODOROKI’S FIRST OF MANY FRIENDS.

- Fuck Endeavor. Someone pour water over this oversized stove. Man needs to chill.

- Restraining Bakugo physically may be a bit too much, but then again he himself is too much.

- Tsu’s internship is probably one of the most fun I’ve seen. Bless that seal boss, Bless the crew.

- Momo and Kendo got lowkey scammed lmao

- Bakugo with a 2010 bieber cut. IM DYING.

- IIDA WENT FERAL OH NO.

- Stain is LEGIT creepy. CREEPIER THAN SHIGGY I’D ARGUE.

- THANK YOU STAIN FOR PUTTING SHIGGY IN HIS PLACE.

- PLS HELP IIDA POOR BOY JUST WANTS TO LIVE UP TO HIS BROTHER’S NAME

- well the crime rates definitely not gonna go down any time soon.

- the legal actions taken actually MAKES SENSE HOLY FUCK.

- INKO YOU ANGEL. DEKU YOU SHIT PLS TELL HER.

- Yaaaaas they’re gonna go traaaaain! CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FANS ARE GETTING FED TONITE BOIS.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

s3 (well that escalated quickly.)

- oh OH GOD. BRUH. I did not expect this to be THIS dark early on JESUS CHRIST.

- HOLY CRAP MY CHILDREN HAVE GROWN SO MUCH ALREADY IM SO PROUD.

- Is this bakugo’s dad? does bakugo actually have a stepfather??? or is this a fan??? idk.

- KICK HIS ASS DEK- OH SHIT DEKU GOT DECKED

- lowkey annoyed at the kid, but AT LEAST HE’S HELPING.

- Is this why Dabi has a LOT of simps? he powerful, but creepy. he’s aight so far.

- MOMO YOU BRILLIANT WOMAN.

- AIZAWA’S A BADASS AS USUAL. LOOK AT THAT MISDIRECT. WHAT A LEGEND

- POOR TOKOYAMI.

- SHOJI OMG PROTECT THEM PLS YOU LEGEND.

- AOYAMA WAS ACTUALLY USEFUL. OH MY GOD.

- oh SHIT GG BAKUGO. SEE YOU IN A FEW EPS BOI.

- and so the concept for “Villain Bakugo!” was born.

- WOAH THE PRO HEROS ACTUALLY DO SHIT THAT ISNT JUST FOR PLOT CONVENIENCE.

- AIZAWA CLEANS UP WELL.

- tf is up with the media press characters in this show? they’re literally in the show for me to hate.

- All for One is genuinely terrifying. 

- Shiggy’s not as bad as I thought he was. He’s still a child tho.

- DAT SAVE. ALL MIGHT. THAT WAS EPIC.

- BRO THAT ARC. I’M SHOOKT. THAT WAS A HELL OF A GOOD ARC. ONE OF THE BEST EVEN.

- Aight, All might’s time is up. They’re gonna get gradually fucked now.

- All might is actually SUPER endearing. Just retire dude, you deserve it so much after everything you’ve gone through.

- Why is Bakugo suddenly likable now....?

- so they have dorms now. NOICE.

- AOYAMA’S VERY LIKABLE NOW.

- MINETA’S GENUINELY ANNOYING NOW.

- I KNEW SOMETHING WAS OFF IN THE EXAMS.

- SHE’S CREEPY.

- Y’all the provisional exams are much more crazier than i thought.

- I hate the people who were against Momo’s team. they’re annoying.

- DENKI YOU’VE ACTUALLY GOTTEN BETTER AT TACTICS AND COMBAT SKILLS. I’M SO PROUD.

- eeeeey! not everyone passed! 

- BAKUGO KNOWS. OH SHIT.

- all’s well that ends well???

- Is endeavor actually going to get some redeeming qualities? still hate him, but at least he’s doing crap for the greater good??? aight, i’ll take it.

- MIRIO YOURE KIND OF CREEPY.

- Nejire’s got that uwu and power tho.

- Tamaki’s a huge mood.

- guess its gonna get darker in season 4

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

s4 (Pretty good, Solid season.)

- Nighteye’s fun.

- DEKU GOT ACCEPTED BC HE DIDN’T RUIN THE LIMITED EDITION MERCH LMAO.

- SAVE THE CHILD.

- ITS RAID TIME BOIS

- LET ERI FREE YOU SHITS.

- Chisaki’s despicable and arguably much more worse or on par with Endeavor. fuck both of them.

- TOGA AND TWICE ARE ADORABLE. PLS LET THEM HAVE A SPIN OFF.

- KIRISHIMA’S GETTING HIS ARC. MY HEART. I SIMP.

- TAMAKI BETTER NOT DIE LIKE THIS. HE DESERVES JUST AS MUCH RECOGNITION AS MIRIO.

- GO GET HER MIRIO.

- FATGUM YOU SOLDIER. YOU ABSOLUTE GEM OF A MAN.

- KIRISHIMA YOU’VE GROWN SO MUCH AAAAAA.

- Lowkey would have wanted more time with the gang before Chisaki took over. They’re much more interesting setting-wise.

- I get that villain backstory he’s got going on, Chisaki’s an abuser. I can’t get on his side especially with all the warnings.

- Chisaki’s op. the power of drugs compels him.

- There’s no way Nighteye’s gonna live after this. He’s BUILT THO.

- Eri is the only thing that’s keeping Deku from overpowering himself and dying in the process. Eri and Deku best tag team confirmed.

- DADZAWA. JUST DADZAWA. GIVE THIS MAN AN AWARD HE’S EASILY ONE OF THE BEST HEROES. 

- Well Nighteye’s still kick- oop. nvm. 

- DID I REALLY JUST SIMP FOR A DYING MAN AS HE’S DYING? IT’S THE HAIR I SWEAR!

- Chisaki getting amputated and getting his karma is deserved even if it meant that the LOV’s gonna bring hell in this. 

- AIGHT SCHOOL FESTIVAL TIME BITCHESSSSS~

- Finally some normalcy after everything.

- Why put Gentle criminal in just now??? AFTER SUCH A BIG ARC TOO?? La brava’s design is cute, but hunh???

- Ghad, she school festival drags because of the conflict. The episodes arent bad, they’re just very weak follow-ups especially when nearly all of the arcs from each season so far hit hard for the plot and/or the characters. 

- I would have liked these episodes more if it was a TV movie or a special episode, for the sake that the show’s “feel” would be more consistent. (I’ll talk about this in another post.)

- just want my children to be happy, is that too much for me to ask?!

- “Hero Too” is a BOP. I’M PROUD OF JIROU.

- ERI IS PRECIOUS. 

- MIRIO DONT MAKE ME CRY NOW.

- LOOKIT ALL THESE PRO HEROS

- can’t believe I simp for a birdman now. THE MAN HAS CHARM I’LL GIVE HIM THAT.

- yo... is endeavor actually taking All Might’s advice??? Man’s toxic, complicated as hell, but the only thing that’s making him likable is the fact that because All Might stepped down, he’s not as competitive anymore and actually fights because that’s what he’s supposed to do. Man’s might be mending for his fucked up mentality and actions, and I appreciate that, but he’s still an abuser regardless. 

- At least he’s gotten better...-ish???

- can’t blame Hawks for looking up to Endeavor tbh. It makes sense for his character.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

[captainevans]

Could you go into more detail re: your last post? I've been seeing so many reactions to what Steve did at the end of the movie and would love to hear your take on it because I'm desperate to hear from someone more level headed (and it seems like you definitely are). I've just seen a lot of people upset with/at Steve/Chris and need some reassurance lol. You can keep this private if you want or just make a separate post. Also hi, nice to meet you :)

I have been thinking about this all day, so I would be more than happy to elaborate for you! It’ll be under the cut.

It appears that the general arguments regarding Steve being out of character and not liking his ending is that he struggled for so long to put his past behind him, to find a place in the future with the family and friends he made, and by sending him back it compromised their future as well as Peggy’s and reduced her to simply a woman who stole Cap’s heart as opposed to this formidable force to be reckoned with and one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I don’t see it that way though. If anything, this is a Steve who failed and saw half of the universe snapped due to circumstances beyond his control and more importantly this is the first time we truly see Steve for the human he is, and not just the soldier out of time.

Two constant threads in Steve’s individual arc has been dealing with one never-ending battle after another and his struggle to acclimate to the times he’s in. I don’t mean in an ‘old man deals with newfangled technology’ sense, but Steve’s few years out of the ice pales in comparison to the seventy plus years it’s been for everyone else. Also keep in mind the era in which Steve comes from, because he deals with things internally or not at all (mostly not at all) and a therapy goer the man is not.

In TFA, pre-serum Steve has a myriad of health problems and is known to get into fights frequently. He’s tried several times to get enlisted; longing for that one chance to do something right, to do something good because he doesn’t like bullies and he doesn’t care where they come from. He meets Peggy and she sees the man he is way before he became Captain America. Keep in mind though that between post Project Rebirth and the crash, more time has passed than people tend to think about. Their feelings for one another have deepened, even if they’re not acted upon, which is why their final conversation over the comms is even more heartbreaking. They had something, they knew they had something, and now it was lost seemingly forever. Who could come back from that? Who honestly would want to?

The Avengers finds him a mere two weeks after the man was defrosted, in which he was learning that almost everyone he knew and loved was dead and that the Tesseract he crashed a plane to try and destroy was found and used by SHIELD to create weapons and had to push that into the back of his mind so he could fight aliens in the Battle of New York.

In TWS, he’s still struggling to find his footing between his past and and present. He visits Peggy and is happy that at least she was able to move on and have a life for herself, but every visit is melancholy and ends the same way - she slips out because of her dementia and he has to relive her finding out that he’s real and in front of her every time. I wouldn’t want to wish that experience on anyone, but do you know what that’s like to deal with a person who has that? To think you’re finally getting somewhere with someone for a moment and then the lucidness wears off and suddenly your heart is ripped out of your chest because you’re back at square one? To do that every single time you see them? Sam asking him what makes him happy breaks my heart every single time because he’s never been given the opportunity to figure that out, and once he learns that Hydra, again going with the whole “I crashed my fucking plane into the ocean and this shit is STILL happening” arc, has been entangled with SHIELD from its infancy, he knows the mission to take it down takes precedence over trying to take the time and figure that out for himself. Now, this movie is the Winter Soldier, and there’s Bucky to cover. At this point, Steve knows he doesn’t have much time with Peggy left when he uncovers the identity of The Winter Soldier. These two pillars are the last remaining ties to his past, which is why he tries so hard to try to joggle Bucky’s programming with not fighting back and the “I’m with you til the end of the line”. Steve knows he’s in there, he just had to get him out. He’s successful, and then that jump-starts the search post TWS leading into Age of Ultron and ending in Civil War.

Age of Ultron..is…well, okay it has more problems than anything else however, at this point it’s been three years since he’s been living in the future, and it would make sense that Peggy is still on his mind in Wanda’s dream sequence for him. He confirms it in Endgame for the first time by saying it aloud, but Peggy was the love of his life. It’s normal to dream about lost loves. He’s a man from that older era though, which is why we only have a stolen moment of him trying to remain stoic because he has to be a leader and appear unaffected for the sake of his team and the mission. I really wish the deleted scene where he comes out of the quintet with his coal to see the image of Captain America with the words “Fascist” above spray-painted on a building wall before he throws the helmet back inside was kept in because it shows SO MUCH without saying anything at all. This is where we see that break between who is he and what his superhero persona is supposed to represent. It’s not Captain America who makes Steve Rogers Steve Rogers, it is Steve Rogers who makes Captain America Captain America. And once again, we find him trying to make the sacrifice play if they aren’t successful and can’t get all Sokovian citizens as well as themselves out in time. Now all while this is happening, Sam is still trying to look for Bucky for Steve.

Which brings us to Civil War. Never has that line between his past and present been more apparent because it’s literally the plot to this movie. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Bucky is deprogrammed but broken and more importantly to Steve - alive- and he knows that Bucky has that blood on his hands that Hydra used and abused him into spilling and that’s why if he could just get Tony to see that with these accords the powers at be, along with every country who signs, can dangle their help for political gain like they’re puppets on strings just like he was. Do they need to be put in check? Perhaps, but not by people with an agenda. It’s a dangerous game they’d be playing with no winners which is why Steve doesn’t sign them. And during that meeting with all of them discussing this, Steve learns that Peggy dies so his stake in this fight to preserve the last tether to his past increases tenfold. He’s not just fighting for Bucky, Steve is fighting for himself. By the time he’s dropped that shield, we’re shown that Steve has lost faith in his government, he’s lost faith in his friends, and he’s lost faith in himself.

He’s in Infinity War for six minutes and forty five seconds is screen time so there’s not much content wise to go on, but when we see Steve he is clearly not the man he was and you can tell something is broken inside him, but it’s not explored until Endgame.

I’m just going to focus on Steve’s arc in Endgame because while I really liked most of it, Thor and Natasha deserved better than that so here we go. If you have not watched Endgame, don’t go any further.

Between waking up and immediately having to fight post defrosting and uncovering the truth about SHIELD using the Tesseract to make weapons, Hydra being an entangled part of shield, the events of Civil War, and by the time we see him in Infinity War he’s a shell of whatever former self he was trying to grasp at straws with, and it wasn’t until we had this film that we actually see to what extent that was.

Endgame opens three weeks after the snap, in a time where they’re still desperately clinging to hope with trying to find a way to reverse things. Carol saves Tony and Nebula while he’s on the very brink of death in the Benatar, and tensions between the Steve and Tony are at an all time high. They lost. Everyone. They’re the Avengers, how could they lose?

Time jumps five years. Tony is living on a lake and has a young daughter with Pepper, and Steve has now taken over for Sam in leading group therapy meetings. Joe Russo’s character says he went on a date the night before and that his date cried before the salad and he cried after the dessert and there was nothing they could truly talk about because what could you talk about if half of the universe, including people you knew and loved, vanished in an instant and where you’re borderline living in some version of Lord of the Flies? He offers words of comfort, but he and half the people in that session don’t fully believe them. He lost the love of his life in ‘45 and woke up seventy years later and he hasn’t had a single moment of rest to do so. It weighs on him, on all of them. Natasha is at Avengers HQ still trying to find ways to help, and because of the nature of their work and who they are as individuals they can’t truly move on, him especially. But seeing Tony with his daughter I think was a catalyst of sorts for Steve, even if it didn’t fully register for him at first. One of the themes through Age of Ultron was this notion of “home”, and being an Avenger was something they all pretty much had to put first. Tony got his family, he got his home, and for someone who thought that the man who went into the ice seventy years couldn’t have that himself, there came a small burst of a what if. What if he could have that as well? If it happened for Tony…

Seeing Peggy in 1970, seeing his photo on her desk…that did something to him as well. After all those years, he’s still on her mind just seemingly as much as she’s on his. He gets that moment of seeing her again, and that longing was heartbreaking. Just one more look before he had to go back - something just for him because the mission came first, it always comes first, and he didn’t want to screw anything up so he buries it like he does everything else. Steve’s an intelligent little shit though and we’ll come back to that later.

Now here’s where I also need for you to keep in mind the conversation Banner had with the Ancient One in 2012. The Ancient One is hesitant on giving him the Infinity Stone because it will disrupt the pre-determined timeline, but Banner explains that the past is cemented in time and forever exists to allow for a subject to jump through time. Reality is experiential for individuals, meaning a person’s perception of time is linear, regardless of how they jump around the timeline. In layman’s terms, you travel to the past, that past becomes your future and your former present becomes the past which then cant be changed by the new future.

We’ve always known Steve is worthy of wielding Mjolnir so let’s just skip to the ending now shall we?

At the end, Steve goes alone to return the stones to their proper place in time, but also has become well versed in time travel for someone who’s not Banner or Tony. He sees this as a chance to have something that’s been unattainable to him for so long - to live the life Tony wanted for him. To be happy. To not have to fight for once in his life. So he goes to the right place in while in the quantum realm as to not disrupt the main timeline, and that’s when he doesn’t return we see that he’s become an old man finally at peace, handing Captain America’s shield over to Sam, who more than deserves the mantle, not exactly telling him that he got his happy ending with Peggy, choosing to keep it to himself and yet smiling wistfully all the same.

He never changed anything about Peggy’s future either. SHIELD clearly still exists, and do some people honestly think he wouldn’t give her the choice? If he didn’t think there was a strong enough of a chance or had she turned him down someway he would have respected her and returned to the main present timeline. Nothing changed about that, it was just an alternative path. By going back, Peggy’s life without Steve still exists and that Peggy who gets her reunion with Steve now represents a branch timeline.

I get not everyone liked the ending, I do, but to be fair, just because they didn’t like Steve’s ending because it doesn’t fit what they wanted doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fitting end for Steve. He can rest now. Finally.

[lanamemories2]

clip clops in on horseback wearing a pointy little dunces hat n sipping frm a rly long crazy straw tht says ‘goblin’ w all of the swirls. Hlo. i’m nai n it’s rly nice to meet u all!!! 23 n she/ha pronouns. i’m one of the three admins here (cleo lazuli on the main) n i’m literally So Excited to get started i cld honestly beat my chest like caesar the ape over it. more abt lana under the cut!!! also like this or hmu if u wna plot n her pinterest is here 👺🌚 

『KRISTINE FROSETH ❙ CIS-FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like LANA JAMESON is here for HER JUNIOR year as a DANCE student. SHE is 21 years old & known to be VIVACIOUS, ALLURING, CHILDISH & IMPULSIVE. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.

AESTHETICS: 

scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out into a cold breeze in just spaghetti strapped silk, a red lightening stripe painted over your eye like a new take on the scarlet letter, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off the bruised cap, doodling penises in condensation instead of sitting still, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, playing where’s waldo with your lipstick in the crowd of a party and finding red on at least six people’s mouths, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open. 

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him. jst a leetle bit Fractured in its intentions.

anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door

(dissociation tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents including a military father tht he found suffocating)

SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x

(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in and out of hospital twice nw n he’s currently dipped off the radar after starting to use. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her. she doesn’t talk abt this tho. when she feels the urge to cry she usually jst smiles

ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably Very Pretty

(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

(hypersexuality tw) this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched

(violence tw) a mre recent point of history is her involvement w danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine who is possibly the antichrist??? pending investigation). he attended radcliffe n lived in a house w a group of guys near campus. it wsn’t a registered frat bt he essentially…ran it like one it ws kind of a weird set-up where he ws the King Of The Roost. essentially he found out tht lana n a guy called zeke slept together n he ended up beating him to near death in front of her bc his pride ws rly bruised since they were meant to be dating (if u can call it tht bc danny’s idea of dating is very Warped). ANYWAY he ws found guilty n sent to jail so it ws like Intense n a gd example of the kinds of disastrous relationships she gets herself into. perks of being a wallflower voice: We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones 

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. 

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories

uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. 

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops. 

she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. 

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually ever been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

PLOTS:

exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. 

mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? 

a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other.

a fake dating plot cld b fun honestly 

someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh

an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool)

someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label

someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh

umm a good influence too mayb? 

oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. 

honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. world’s our oyster fellas!

[for-bucks-sake]

why am i pissed, you ask?

it’s mostly me ranting, I loved the movie though. oh and Avengers Endgame spoilers under the cut

I watched the movie yesterday and it was amazing. I loved every single thing about it, I cried and laughed and applauded and what not. and then I got to sleep on it- even though I’m still in awe with this movie and will always be probably, two things annoyed me the most: steve’s “closer”, and the lack of interaction between steve and bucky. take a quick look at my blog and you’ll learn i’m stucky trash, but honestly, this time it’s not even about it. 

there are literally three, very canon movies with the plot line of “steve does everything it takes to save bucky” and in all of those movies it’s a main plot line too; so why the hell, in a movie of three hours, they spend only like two minutes in the same frame? isn’t steve happy bucky’s back? (he even was his motivation for all of this, according to the picture of the og avengers and their shadows.) why do they barely hug then? does bucky really have to stand ten feet from him at all times? It’s ok for tony to comment about steve’s ass bc he’s married now, with a kid no less, it doesn’t count when an unquestionably straight man says it. same w scott - he too, has a proof of a sexual interaction with a woman. yet they can’t let two best friends of over 20 years reunite in peace. 

now, steve’s ending. some loved it. which I can see why. finally steve lives all those years he missed, A man out of time, he gets to get married, have a life, maybe a family. except it was like taking a huge shit on his character development. he said it himself in aou, "I don't know. Family, stability... The guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. I think someone else came out." peggy herself encouraged him to move on, he kissed her niece for fuck’s sake, but 20 seconds of looking at her made him forget all of this, and instead think, hey, you know what would be really cool? i go back in time to live 40 years with a woman i kissed once even though she has her own family already, and leave my best friend who is also out of time and which I spent the last 10 years of my life trying to save, all alone. I didn’t think it was the worst they could’ve done and I can see why they had the thought, but personally, for me it would’ve been so much more powerful if steve- able bodied, strong, cap steve, chose to give up his shield and say, I’m done. 

so yeah, that’s why I’m pissed

[iamanartichoke]

Someone on Reddit linked to a copy of Endgame streaming online, so I went ahead and watched it while I had the chance, so I could judge for myself. My thoughts, entirely about Thor and Loki, under the cut. 

ENDGAME SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. 

My honest, unbiased opinion is that this is a fantastic movie ... for the general audience. This is a movie for the masses, for the average movie-goers who will pay their money to be entertained for three hours by visual effects, heroic music, some comic relief, and callbacks to earlier movies. 

If you’re not invested, or if your fave character was treated right, then it’s easy to enjoy this movie without thinking too critically about it. I have no doubt that this movie will make a ton of money and people will enjoy it, which kind of takes some of the wind out of my schadenfreude sails, in regards to people finally seeing the Russos for the hacks they are, but whatever. 

However. 

First, Loki. It is very true that Loki has next to no screen time in the film, but there were a few little gems that I wasn’t expecting. 

So here’s all the Loki we get: Current Tony Stark drops in right as Loki is delivering his “I’ll have that drink now” line. Then SHIELD swarms into Stark Tower to confiscate the scepter and take Loki into custody. Loki snarks at everyone and shapeshifts into Cap, and then back to himself, at which point Thor puts the muzzle over his mouth. I think he says “shut up” but I’m not sure (the audio wasn’t that great, I missed a lot of dialogue tbh). 

They go down to the main floor and Thor, Loki, and Tony get stopped by Alexander Pierce, who insists that SHIELD take custody of Loki. Tony and Thor argue that Thor is taking him back to Asgard. Loki rolls his eyes rather dramatically at all the fuss. 

Then, Tony’s ARC reactor starts acting up and he collapses. At the same time, Hulk bursts onto the scene. There’s a bit of chaos - Thor, Pierce, and some agents are trying to help Tony while a bunch of other people are running from Hulk. I think Current Tony, who was trying to get the Tesseract, is knocked aside or something - I can’t remember. Anyway, Loki sees his opportunity, grabs the Tesseract, and vanishes. Current Tony watches him do it. Thor starts yelling for Loki when he realizes Loki is gone, and then it cuts to Current Tony and that’s the last we see of the 2012 Brodinsons. 

So, is the 2012 Loki alive somewhere? I’m not sure. The movie really left it ambiguous. It’s just as possible that Steve returned the stones and prevented any alternate timelines from occurring, meaning that Loki never steals the Tesseract, and Avengers - and TDW - play out as normal. I guess YMMV. 

The only other Loki we see is the scene in TDW where Loki is laying in bed, tossing the little cup up in the air, and we see Thor sneak past his cell. It’s true, Thor doesn’t even look at Loki, or mention Loki at all in the present. 

(New thought, but the fact that TDW still existed for Thor to go back to can imply that that movie’s events never changed and Loki did make it back to Asgard eventually. As the Avengers are going to their different time periods, the dates display on screen, and it’s clear that Tony goes back to 2012 and Thor goes back to 2013. So I think the timeline is intact? My brain hurts.) 

Anyway, Loki isn’t shown or mentioned again. 

So, Thor. The first 20 minutes of the film are great for Thor. He doesn’t really say much of anything, but it’s clear that he’s upset and guilty. When the Avengers track down Thanos and Thor kills him, someone says, “What did you do?” Thor replies, sounding absolutely wrecked, “I went for the head.” He turns and walks away. 

if they had followed this portrayal of Thor’s guilt and depression throughout the film, it would have been much, much better. 

They don’t, though. After that, I cringed every time Thor was on-screen. The secondhand embarrassment was so real. Thor was stumbling around drunk most of the time. It’s very obvious to everyone else that there’s something very wrong with him, but it’s hard for us to take this seriously because the narrative doesn’t take it seriously. It really is played up for comic relief.

When they ask Thor about the Aether, for example, he rambled on nonsensically about Jane and the Dark Elves, while everyone else gave each other these “what the actual fuck” looks. (Cue giggling from the audience.) 

His weight gain and overall unkempt appearance was definitely played for laughs, which I thought was gross, especially at how his costumes and camera shots were done in such a way that it really focused on how much weight he’d gained. Several times the camera specifically focused on his stomach. It’s very much “haha Thor is fat now.” It’s very embarrassing and cringe-worthy and disappointing.  

I will say, there were a few moments where Thor did well - when the narrative dropped the comic relief aspect and showed Thor’s PTSD. In his first scene after the time jump, Hulk mentions Thanos, and Thor gets very quiet and very angry and says, “Do not mention that name.” His entire demeanor changes. He withdraws, he looks like he’s on the verge of tears, and he says he isn’t going anywhere and he wants nothing to do with their plan. 

Unfortunately, that part of the scene is undermined when Rocket says, “There’s beer on the ship,” and that makes Thor go with them. 

His conversation with Frigga was okay. It didn’t have the emotional impact I thought it would, but to be fair, I missed a lot of what was said between them, because the audio wasn’t good. 

She kind of talks some sense into him, though, and they get to hug and say they love each other. But he calls her “Mom,” which, o-kay, and the entire interaction was tinged with bitterness on my part because Loki is the one who should have gotten to have a talk and a hug and an “I love you” from Frigga. 

Neither of them even mentioned Loki, from what I could hear anyway, which was just an extra slap in the face. 

Once the final battle rolls around, Thor fights well. He seems more like his Ragnarok self and less like a drunken idiot by the time he gives Asgard to Valkyrie, and he was also Ragnarok-y when he and Peter Quill quibble over who’s in charge. Ragnarok Thor is still OOC, but is an improvement from Endgame Thor (or maybe it just seemed that way because he was sober). 

So ... there we are. I won’t be paying money to see this in the theatre, but at least I did see it so that I could make a fair first-hand judgement. (Btw, if anyone else wants to watch it, I’m afraid to post the link bc copyright and whatnot, but it’s on a site called “Fmovies,” just Google it and it’ll pop up.) 

This movie treated Loki terribly, in absentia. His 2012 self was fine, I suppose, but as far as our Loki goes, there was literally no payoff whatsoever when it comes to things like Loki disappearing for five minutes, saying “the sun will shine on us again,” or even being remembered by his brother (or Val, for that matter). That first scene in IW really was just full of plot holes and there was nothing more going on. This is such a bitter disappointment on so many levels, and I really, really hate it. 

This movie treated Thor terribly, too, for all the aforementioned reasons. 

I’m pretty much going to ignore this film’s canon, the same way I mostly ignore IW’s canon. I really do suspect that 2012 Loki’s escape will be addressed or followed in the TV show, but who really knows. I’m tired, I’m disappointed, and I just want Thor and Loki’s relationship to go back and reboot from TDW, where Loki doesn’t die and he and Thor reconcile and sort out their differences and understand one another. I guess that’s what fanfic is for. 

Sorry for such a long, rambling post. To end this on a positive note, I will say that Valkyrie’s hair looked AMAZING and pretty much how I picture it in Sea. So there was that.