#every cap movie is Steve saving Bucky + the world like hello

[stevebvck]

soo I went to Disneyland this past week and saw the rogers musical

[astrhae]

Hello. First off This is a question out of pure curiosity and I'm not dissing on anything. Please tell me how you see Steve and Tony as a ship? I can understand them as best friends sort of. But love? Didn't Steve always love Bucky? Even with Sam I can understand. Sam has a very clear crush on Steve. But how do Tony and Steve end up as a ship? Shouldn't the whole civil war sort of clear this?

Hello! Buckle in because this is going to be a long ride (I'm not offended, on the contrary I'm sure others have explained (better than me) why they adore Steve and Tony but I'm excited for any excuse to talk about why I adore their relationship). Let me start with that Steve/Bucky and Steve/Sam are great ships and I definitely see where you're coming from with Sam having a crush on Steve.

As for Steve and Tony, I stumbled by this particular quote out of nowhere a year and a half ago: "I miss your battle cry."

Which just. Struck a cord somewhere deep down. I googled it to find the author and to my undying surprise it came from this quote said by Tony about Steve in the aftermath of the Civil War comics: "Maybe… maybe there was a reason you had to be on the other side of every argument. How you could be my rudder, steering me when others couldn’t… I don’t know if I can do it without you… I certainly won’t do it as well… I miss your battle cry."

Admittedly, the MCU doesn't show Steve/Tony quite as well as the comics or the TV shows do and I'm assuming you want to know about the MCU in particular. Despite how infuriating the movies are sometimes, there are still these five constants with Steve and Tony:

1) They're balanced partners and equals. The respect they have for each other. The depth of their trust and faith in each other despite everything is overwhelming. In the Avengers, Steve and Tony meet, and their first conversation starts with Steve admitting his discomfort about the situation ("I don't remember it being this easy"). From the outright start, he trusts Tony enough to admit that. Tony clearly doesn't expect it because he responds badly (as he often does with sincerity) and only then do they start bickering. But in the helicarrier, Tony extends the same courtesy and trust to Steve by explaining his thought process ("an intelligence organisation that fears intelligence?") despite Tony still thinking that Steve is on SHIELD's side and not on Tony's side. This mutual respect and trust for each other is an implicit thing that gets carried on through their entire arc together (see next points).

(ALSO that put on the suit scene is massively unresolved tension and when Tony stumbles after the explosion, Steve's first instinct is to steady him).

And by balanced I mean they compliment each other and not exactly in the way opposites attract. (They are opposites, but they are also so similar in so many ways: the parallels between Yinsen and Erskine, how stubborn they both are, how they both want to save the world but have different visions on how to do it, and so much more). They push each other to see things from a different perspective, though. Their similarities underscore their differences, and they make each other better people and better heroes because of it. They challenge each other to grow.

If you look at the Cap and the Iron Man trilogies, it's essentially a story of Steve becoming more like Tony and Tony becoming more like Steve. And when they meet again in Endgame, it's all about them learning how to be true to themselves but still being better people through what they've learned from each other (check the notes for a youtube video on this, I don't agree with all of the video’s points and especially disagree about what makes Steve and Tony complete in the end, but I do agree that they both had a massive influence on each other's motivations and characters).

It's also subtly clear how they defer to each other easily despite their strong personalities. Tony Stark, known to the world for his ego, easily submits to Steve's authority in the Avengers ("Call it, Cap") despite only knowing him for less than half a day and spending that half a day mostly bickering. In Age of Ultron, as angry as Steve is at Tony, he still lets Tony lead the final battle.

(Also in Endgame Steve's first instinct is to drive to Tony's house looking for help like a damsel in distress searching for his knight in literal shining armor)

2) Their communication: spoken and unspoken (aka the silent STARES of angst nobody else gets) They work effortlessly together in the field. And off the field, they know each other's buttons so well they can rile up each other easily (in addition to Put On The Suit, see the wood chopping scene in Age of Ultron). They also just need to look at each other and they both know Wakanda means vibranium (ft. Bruce confusedly not keeping up in Age of Ultron), Steve also knows what Tony means about a "vague idea" (ft. Scott's turn to confusedly not keep up in Endgame).

That scene in the Avengers when Steve and Tony mourn Coulson - it's the first conversation they have that doesn't end with a fight. It shows Steve re-evaluating what he knows about Tony (from whatever stupid footage he's been shown) and what he's seen Tony do: hack into SHIELD, fix the helicarrier, save Steve (he flew into a brainwashed agent who was shooting at Steve), and care about Coulson ("there was a cellist"). And Steve pauses to listen to Tony. The way they bounce ideas off each other when they're both listening is phenomenal. Even in Civil War, Steve nearly signs the accords after they talk and see each other's perspectives.

This goes back to the depth of their connection with each other, how well they know what the other is thinking because some part of Tony will always be a reflection of Steve, and vice versa.

(Or, Natasha aptly put it: "I thought you and Tony were still gazing into each other's eyes.")

3) The Flip Phone, the Shield and TRUST I understand why you think Civil War might end any hope for Steve and Tony, but for me, it only raises the stakes for them even more. The trust and respect they have for each other is still there. Tony carries the flip phone with him EVERYWHERE and the uniform Steve wears as Nomad is the same uniform Tony made for him before Civil War. Tony who doesn't remember what he had for breakfasts clearly cares enough to remember to bring the flip phone with him even when he goes out for a simple morning jog. He is, also, sentimental enough to keep the flip phone (this is Tony Stark. If he wanted to transfer Steve's number to any other device, he could. But noooo he made sure to keep up a 3G cell phone plan and the ratty old phone. Why else if not because the phone is the last connection he has with Steve???)

To address your Civil War point further, Steve knows just with one look that Tony is in support of the Accords (see point 3 again about silent stares of angst). In Civil War, Tony does all he can to keep the team together (doing exactly what Steve had said in Age of Ultron: "we'll do that together, too"). The moment FRIDAY tells Tony about Zemo, Tony flies to the Raft in order to find out where Steve went and to help Steve. Who, obviously by his own words ("It's good to see you, Tony") is happy and relieved to see him.

Let me phrase that better. Tony BROKE the accords for Steve. Because even when they're on opposite sides. Even when the fight with Steve nearly killed his Rhodey, Tony trusted Steve to have valid reasons to do the things he did.

No trust, Tony tells Steve in Endgame, and YET HE STILL HANDS OVER THE ARC REACTOR TO STEVE. The only people Tony has ever trusted to have his Iron Man technology are Pepper, Rhodey, and Peter. The fact that he handed over the arc reactor/nanotech compartment to Steve even after telling Steve he has no trust in him is proof that on some level, Tony still had faith in Steve.

And Steve still had faith too that Tony could save the world against all odds ("Earth just lost her best defender" // "Did he give you any clues? Any coordinates?" // "Tony, after everything you've seen, is anything really impossible?")

The opposite of love is apathy, not hate. And they clearly still care for each other. Steve goes out of hiding the moment Tony is declared missing in Infinity War. And if Tony hadn't cared anymore about Steve, he wouldn't have had any qualms about calling Steve because it wouldn't mean anything. But it did mean something. Which was why Tony hesitated.

In Endgame, when Tony gets off the space ship, Steve runs. No. He sprints to Tony. He's lost Bucky and Sam, but he still has Tony, and he holds on to him desperately (you can see Steve's displeasure when he has to let go of Tony in that scene).

When Steve has hope that they had a second chance to fix everything with the time travel, the first person he brings that hope to is Tony. He knows they haven't fully repaired their frienship, he knows that he could have gone straight to Bruce who has a higher probability of helping out, and yet he chose to go to Tony first because he believes Tony can. He believes in Tony.

(And when they do execute said time heist, Steve turns to Tony for confidence. Tony smiles at him, and Steve smiles back.)

There's a lot of fixing to do after Civil War for them to possibly, realistically, and healthily get back together, but what doesn't need to be fixed is the belief they have in each other, and in each other's heroisms.

4) Steve and Tony being Together™ is integral in every universe, including the MCU. Steve and Tony not being together is literally the reason why the Avengers lost in Infinity War. The sheer impact that their relationship has on the world, the universe even, is some next level stuff that no other relationship has. It makes the importance and the stakes of their relationship even higher.

5) Steve Rogers is a Little Shit and a Genius So with the serious stuff out of the way, another reason why the dynamic between Steve and Tony is very compelling (to me, at least) is because in many ways Steve isn't a perfect soldier. He's willing to break the rules, and his dry witty one liners can match Tony's sarcasm. ("Shit!" "Language!" "I will miss you, Tony." "There's gonna be a lot of manful tears." In any universe, their banter is endearing.)

Steve is fondly amused by Tony's antics ("Did you tell everyone about it?"//"Elevator's not worthy."//"Nobody asked you to look, Tony.") and Tony would definitely have the hots for Steve's mind too - after all, in the Avengers, Steve did figure out that SHIELD was making weapons out of the Tesseract before Tony's algorithm found out, and if you're saying that that show of intellect and disobedience against SHIELD didn't change Tony's opinion about Steve, you're wrong.

Because it did. Tony seeing that Steve wasn't just the good man that he'd heard Howard talk about but was also a smart man who wouldn't march entirely to Fury's fife? In spite of what the Sceptre made them say angrily to each other, Tony was willing to be vulnerable in front of Steve about Coulson (we are not soldiers) because he's realised that Steve isn't a soldier, too.

6) America's ass. No explanation needed. Tony is GAY for that ass. Who wouldn't be?

7) Steve's most said word is literally "Tony". Nuff said.

I know I said five points but it's a fact that in every universe Tony admires Steve's ass (he canonically calls Steve "Captain Handsome" and "Beloved" in the comics) and Steve does say Tony's name a lot, and with A LOT of feeling. For example, this particular gem: 

“Mr. Stark, when I woke up in this era, I had no one. Nothing. You gave me a purpose, somewhere to belong… You gave me a home.” 

and this one: "Tony Stark and his armor. His wonderful metal suit. The end result of all the technology he’s mastered in his hands the ultimate weapon for good. A good that I can never hope to equal."

and in case you wanted some from Tony's end, Tony also says this: “I… Look, I’m not the crying kind, Steve. I didn’t cry at my own father’s funeral. But right then and there I realized that in this crazy business we’re in, there’s no one I’d miss more than you."

also there is that famous universe (Earth 3490) where the Civil War gets avoided because Tony (as a woman) marries Steve. Their romance saved the universe.

TL;DR there is some deep, deep connection going on between the two of them that surpasses a friendship. Yes, they could be friends, and friendship is not a lesser form of love. But somewhere between their intense fights and their angsty looks and their unwavering belief in each other, I find a lot of potential for tenderness and a kind of love that's legendary and that determines the fate of every universe they're in.

(plus, the two of them are hot together, and the art of them is beautiful, the fics are extraordinary, and everyone in this community is amazing and sweet)

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ep 6 liveblog/commentary under the cut (finally) ... so many screenshots inside. I’m not sorry? ]

this is fairly stream of consciousness as I was watching in between bouts of tutoring so it’s less Massive Thinky Thoughts than usual, but w/e, it’s a commentary!

They said no fly zone and I was immediately concerned. If Sam goes out there with the wings, I hope he doesn’t get shot at. On the flip side, Bucky just “Sergeant Barnes” his way in, huh?

I appreciate them using the holo-face tech again so it’s not a throwaway, but also having those makes everything so messy. In the meantime though look at this pause face XD

WHEN CAP SLINGS HIS MIGHTY SHIIIIEEELD

“I thought Captain America was on the moon.” Who spread this rumor widely enough for members of the GRC to believe it?? lmao

“A baguette and a few French fries.” Sam’s sass will never stop being top tier. Also I love that both Caps get to fight Batroc. Yay parallels!

“You don’t think I’ve ever fought for something bigger than myself? That’s all I’ve ever tried to do, and I’ve failed twice.” Ow. Bucky, you’ve kept Steve safe all throughout WWII, you’ve been part of the fight with Thanos and helped the Avengers win, you’ve fought your own mind for the greater good, healed the damage and the trigger words in order not to become a weapon against people, stop thinking of your failures ;_; (I say as my Nat muse shrugs sympathetically in my head)

Bucky showing off the same compassion as Sam with Karli? <chef’s kiss> Bucky on a motorcycle again? <double chef’s kiss>

Sharon I see you with that trick. We stan a smart woman!! Not gonna lie I did think it was a tracker at first though. Ruthless. Way more ruthless than Sam would approve of...

I’m not gonna lie, seeing the difference in fighting style between Steve and Sam with the shield is just so fun? Sam gets to work far more in three dimensions, he uses the repulsors and the wings and the shield all in tandem. It’s like seeing a cross between Steve and Tony in some ways, but with the added acrobatics. It’s cool!

Seeing Karli’s supporters starting to question her and her extremism is rewarding. I’ve known multiple people who have come from backgrounds that were pretty close to brainwashing that have slowly broken out of it over time, either due to seeing how twisted things were towards the top or increased exposure to people who weren’t part of their (forcibly) exclusive group. It’s a hell of a wake up call. And that extremism continues for Karli, setting the truck on fire. How much are her friends following out of genuine commitment vs out of obligation vs out of fear?

Walker’s “you don’t think Lemar’s life mattered” is the realest anger from him that I’ve been able to identify yet. At least if he’s fighting them, Bucky’s getting a chance to save the hostages.

“Boy you just earned this ass-whoopin’!” XD XD XD

And there we have the contrast: John continuing to fight single-mindedly instead of giving a damn about the people trapped and burning to death. He doesn’t always think those lives matter. The parallels with Karli build. And of course she’s getting her ass kicked to some extent because Walker is a trained fighter, she’s far more someone working on instinct. But good on him for trying at the last minute to save them anyway.

We knew Sam was gonna save the day but damn it feels good to see it!! I love the concept of him with his human strength augmented only by the tech he wears (like Tony!) wearing the wings of an angel, saving people with superhuman compassion and a brain that lights up like the fourth of July. That’s our new Cap, folks, the one that we needed.

Bucky’s smile in response I’m !!

BUCKY’S MURDERFACE WHEN KARLI THROWS THE ROD !!!

Sam knocking out five people with the shield, you work them angles, babe !!!!!!!

Is it Sharon backstory time? It sure fuckin’ is!! Holy shit she’s got so much more invested in this fight than a pardon, and her face here is just so genuinely hurt?? Ow. But also cool the Power Broker theory was true. Honestly props to her for rising to the top and finding a way to keep tabs on the whole world while legit exiled. That said, she’s got to have done some incredibly problematic shit to get there so we’ll see what shakes down from that.

LOOK AT HER FACE

Aw fuck of course she’s been shot. Gonna skin someone if she doesn’t make it, but given how they had her moving after, she should be fine. People in the MCU have come back from far worse lol

THE CRUX OF THE SHOW RIGHT HERE. SAM WILSON EVERYONE.

If this murderball wasn’t the antagonist, Nat would be cheering her on, look at how fierce!

But also Sam ;_;

Okay, feels aside, check out the way that when the shield gets punched, Sam instinctively pre-empts being shoved back by deploying his wings, digging them into the ground to reinforce his stance. You can see here that he’s got it tripod style behind him, knees bent to absorb the shock and keep him balanced but flexible while he takes the blow. Whoever planned and choreographed this knew their shit. This here martial artist approves!

“Stay down!” “No.”

“Lincoln, really?” “Great man, great quote.” “Not when you say it.” Pfffft.

Karli’s desperation for Sam to fight back is such a poignant note here despite the hoarse yelling, because it speaks to her need for validation, the need to believe that she’s fighting for the right reason, that the people opposing her deserve to be hurt. But if he doesn’t fight despite everything, then he’s simply not allowing her that vindication, and she has no choice but to question whether it’s right to fight him. Innocents being harmed? She can do that in an abstract way. She’s not punching or shooting them, they just happen to be there and in the way of the explosion. The GRC members? Not innocent because they’re directly taking away her ability to further her cause via passed resolutions and inadequately distributed resources. Sam is neither of those. He’s clearly fighting alongside those who oppose her, but refuses to actually fight her despite his ability to. He’s someone she can’t resolve with her ideas of the world and it’s devastating her. Even as she’s got her gun trained on him, she looks lost and has to fight to regain the nerve to shoot.

Thank you Sharon. It’s possible he could have pulled something out of the hat last minute (he did have his wings after all), and the look Sam gives her is slightly disbelieving, but I think a lot of the grief here is the fact that she’s so young and her cause has roots in a genuine problem that’s not being resolved and is impacting literally half the population of the world. Sharon looks so relieved, and it must hurt to see her protege die especially at her own hand, but she’s never been one to pull her punches (or her bullets).

How long do you think this death is going to haunt him? (Can anyone say “his whole life”?) (Also La Pieta vibes)

AN ACTUAL ANGEL oh, he lands so gently, looks so solemn, puts her on a stretcher to try to save her T_T

Sorry I totally broke the mood and laughed at “or is it Captain Falcon” because I’ve played too much SSBBM early in my life oops. Just imagine Sam as this guy, yelling “FALCON PUNCH” dsfkjgsdjfh

Okay, I’m so glad that Sam is broaching this topic in public (despite the fact that you know they’d try to move it to a private discussion immediately in real life), and that he’s trying to make people understand the struggle and make more compassionate decisions. What I found highly interesting in the cinematography here is that:

1) They pan back to Bucky occasionally to show him thoughtfully listening, not interrupting, and maybe it’s important that this be an example to follow for people who are non-minorities when a member of a minority is talking about their struggle, and

2) when he says “Every time I pick this up, I know millions of people are going to hate me for it.” they cut immediately to a close up of John Walker…

And he looks down, guilty. Maybe that’s a sign of self-recognition. Maybe there’s hope for a change. (I wouldn’t hold my breath for it though.)

Oh hell the look on Isaiah’s face. Did I cry? A little.

Bucky’s starting to smile just the teeniest bit but you know who’s also smiling? TORRES. HI BABY BOY!

Empathy, empathy, empathy. The power of the people, the power of the government, the power imbalances that make the world the way it is. Sam. Wilson. GOD I love him. Thank you, thank you.

Bucky trying to play it cool. You dumb butt XD Look at their dumb faces aaa

Ahh, Sharon. Told you she’d be fine. Just needs to see an illicit doc or something. She probably has twenty of them lined up.

I SEE YOU THEME MUSIC

Oh D: That’s… no… why death, no.

Of course Zemo is smiling, he probably arranged for the Super Soldier deaths. OR VALENTINA hello I forgot about you. Oh, US Agent outfit, proper. He’s acting like a little child with it, go figure ^^; Still haven’t figured out Valentina’s motives, I’m curious.

Aw hi Yori. Bucky being honest and making proper amends is gonna make me tear up again. But also: “by the Winter Soldier… and that was me.” WAS. WAS. THIS IS PROGRESS. “I didn’t have a choice.” P R O G R E S S. EVERY NAME CROSSED OUT. P R O G R E S S !

Sam & Isaiah. I’m so proud of them. “You’re special.” DAMN RIGHT!! Gosh I love them I love them I love them.

“I might fail. Shit, I might die. But we built this country. Bled for it. I’m not gonna let anybody tell me I can’t fight for it. Not after what everybody before me went through. Including you.”

CATCH ME TEARING UP AGAIN. They got him a memorial!

Ahhh a party! Sam smiling! Bucky roughhousing with the kids! HAPPINESS ;A;

“Welcome home Agent Carter.” Hmm this doesn’t seem like the best… ah, yep. Saw that one coming XD Look at that boss face though yow!! 

Also I’m hoping we get to see her at Peak Manipulative doing Cool Things in an Ends Justify The Means fashion because how dare that be reserved for men in superhero shows/movies? We love to see a woman about to deliver a smackdown.

closing thoughts: Lots of plot movement and action in this round, and finally an episode that was centered properly around Sam and the impact he has on the world. We saw an acknowledgement of real world struggles, steps taken to avert extremists but also steps taken to fix the core issue at the end. We see Sam saying you don’t want Karli 2.0 which reinforces the power of violent protest in otherwise peaceful movements and the fact that it’s listened to. We see a reclaiming of dignity, of owning one’s own power, of facing one’s fears and healing. We have an appropriate cliffhanger. Nothing in this episode was wildly surprising (though I though it was interesting that they went with moving the people out of the building, presumably to allow Sam greater flexibility to soar around and look cool, and also to buy them time so they didn’t get gunned down lol). On the other hand, there was nothing that I found needed to be surprising. It was a solid episode and I enjoyed it, and the resolution especially with Isaiah made me really happy. I’m eager to see what’s in store for Sharon, what Val and John are planning, and all the other shenanigans to come.

[t0nystark1er]

2020 Rec Week: First Five Friday

FANFICS | FANARTS ED

Sharing my first five in the SteveTony Fandom for the @cap-ironman rec week!

AO3 FANFICS

First five SteveTony fanfics that I read and bookmarked in AO3! And still re-read every now and then! If you haven’t read these yet, I highly recommend that you check it out, kudos and comment after!

1. I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you by Mizzy | @mizzy2k 

Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD.

This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

2. Never Gonna Happen by Annehiggins

Tony Stark never really believed Steve Rogers would actually marry him, but he'd never dreamed it would be because Bucky Barnes turned up alive on their wedding day. Takes into account all pre-Winter Soldier movies except Tony and Pepper broke up between The Avengers and Iron Man 3 for the usual reasons.

3. Favorable Winds by RurouniHime

Steve’s voice comes from behind, a sigh and a thump as his own pack hits the floor. “Sam. Meet Tony Stark.”

4. Mechanic AU by ironfries (machinate) ,Vespasiana

What it says on the tin. Tony is a mechanic and Steve is the guy who brings him small home appliances to fix.

5. Mr. July by jibrailis

Tony is the only one who can defend Steve's virtue. Tony hates his life.

--

--

TUMBLR WRITERS

First Five Writers I followed on Tumblr (I really don’t use the subscription button in AO3 I’m chaotic like that haha). Go follow them if you haven't yet:

1. @captainstarkreportingforduty | Tumblr Fics / AO3 - All fluff!

Steve takes Tony's breath away. Literally. College AU + Football

Steve, Tony + Baby Avengers

2. @starkpad | Tumblr Fics / AO3 - They’re not active anymore but you can still check out their fics!!!

Skinny Steve & Rock star Tony Grease Monkey AU

Steve as prince charming at Disneyland & Tony being the Italian tourist insp by art of @hello-shellhead

3. @laireshi | Tumblr Fics / AO3 - If you want angst!!! You can also find fluff sprinkled somewhere their works haha

Commander Rogers forgetting about Tony’s b-day

Steve thinks he can seduce Tony before Tony seduces him. He's very, very wrong.

4. @sabrecmc | Tumblr Fics / AO3 - I’m assuming everyone knows Sabre already!

First father's day in Celestial Navigation / Orbital Mechanics

Warlord!Steve

5. @the-vorkosigan | AO3 - My CA:CW fix-it savior!

Never Eye To Eye - They were texting, arguments, and hangry Tony.

Over Sea, Under Stars - One of the OG texting fic out there!

Recognize Fate (A Dramedy of Manners) - my STH from vorkosigan!

Bonus:

6. @shetlandowl | Tumblr Fics / AO3 - She’s the 6th on the line and it’s so close so I NEED to include her! (technically 7th but wordsplat deleted XD)

A Housesitter AU

Actors AU that we talk about. Almost. Every. Day. Ask her stuff!

[parkneroses]

parkner week day 2! it’s a day late (a day and four hours in my time zone but i’m pretending i’m american so i don’t seem like a crazy person writing until 4am)

major thanks again to @emptycanoflizards who gave me lots of lovely (ᵘⁿᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉᵈ) compliments on my day 1 fic and everyone else who said something nice about it!! thank you for the motivation to actually write this <3

word count: 2.1k | if you enjoy this, buy me a coffee? | read it on ao3

day 2: they were roommates/prom/jealousy

This was a nightmare. Both a personal one- Tony really wasn’t a fan of aliens, for obvious reasons- and a PR one. How the hell was he supposed to explain why these.. these butter monsters were completely unaffected by the abundant security measures around Avengers Tower? How was he supposed to predict that there were creatures in the universe that could just melt, and resolidify at will? How was he supposed to blow them to bits with drones if they just fused back together like some kind of nightmarish oil-based hydra? (the monster, not the organisation.)

Fire seemed to be the only thing capable of keeping them at bay, which was horribly inconvenient seeing as there were only two avengers capable of harnessing that element, and Rhodey was in fucking DC. And he definitely wasn’t about to let Peter start swinging around the top floors of the tower with a homemade flamethrower, no matter how much the kid insisted.

“Tony?” Captain America’s voice came through the comms.

“Busy,” Tony replied. Cap knew that of course, he could see the tiny flashes of light in the dark sky that was Tony in the Iron Man suit whizzing around and burning the monsters to a crisp eight hundred feet above him.

“Tony. We can’t do damage to the aliens on ground level. Civilians have been evacuated and the tower is on lockdown. The aliens don’t seem to be capable of range damage, they need to engulf someone to actually hurt them. They seem adamant on attacking the tower, nothing else is sparking their interest, and they’re not smart enough to go attacking civilians to get our attention. I say we go inside, look over our options. You can’t kill them all yourself.”

Tony wasn't in favour of leaving his tower to get soaked in… alien guts? No, butter. Thinking of it as butter made it slightly more tolerable. Who would want their home and workplace to smell like a two-star diner? Not Tony, that’s for sure, but something about how Cap’s usually stoic, unwavering tone was peppered with grunts and wheezes made him reconsider. Coney Island fair scented tower it was, then. He signalled to Friday to open up the second floor windows so the Avengers could climb in, and flew through behind them into a conference room.

Natasha’s usually pristine hair was soaked through with the butter. Tony got the impression that she’d nearly been taken out, if her sigh of relief was at all telling. Bruce looked slightly green, but that might have been the bluish tint of his tired skin mixing with the yellow liquid to look a sickly vomit colour. Steve and Bucky had splatters of the goop in random places on their gear, but they were mostly clean. True professionals, those two. Sam and Clint, who had been in charge of evac, were chilling on the couch. They had finished their jobs almost an hour ago, content to leave the heavy lifting to the rest of the team for once. Steve was the first to speak.

“It’s late. They’re not going anywhere. Break for the night. Recuperate, and at be geared up at seven in the morning to go back out and finish them off.”

Steve was the boss, so Tony didn’t protest.

*

In Tony’s defense, he never meant for the tower to actually house people. Sure, there were a couple spare bedrooms on his personal floor, and the Avengers’ rooms on the floor below his, but that was kind of it. The granite and marble floors, glass tables and concrete desks were picked for their sleek and minimalist style, not their comfort. Although it was nearing midnight, there were still a couple hundred people in the tower. Mostly due to night shifts, but there were always a couple of late-night stragglers, usually employees that couldn’t keep their mitts off their ultra exciting projects. Plus twenty or so S.H.I.E.L.D agents. And Nick Fury of course, because if there was a god in this cruel world, he was intent on making Tony suffer.

Pepper had been a dream in sorting out beds for the lockdown prisoners. Scientists who were used to long nights and sleeping in uncomfortable places curled up in the padded chairs of the desk jockeys, who in turn rested their sore spines in the nap holes scattered around the labs. There were spare blankets in the donation bins on the ground floor, so the security guards that weren’t on the job made beds on the floor of the lobby. Pepper was his saviour. And for that, Tony owed her.

“I’m not dealing with the S.H.I.E.L.D agents. I’ve done my part, and quite frankly I’m exhausted from a full day of running your company. It’s your turn now,” Pepper said, shrugging off her jacket and making her way to the elevator.

Tony turned to the Avengers.

“You guys down to share rooms?” He asked. That earned him a smile and a small nod from both Steve and Bucky, but glares from the rest of the team, and a tasteful, “Oh, hell no,” from Sam.

Tony huffed and pulled a chair out from the conference table. He slumped in it (there was a time and a place for impeccable posture, and this wasn’t it), and pulled up a map of the upper floors of the tower with help from Friday.

“Okay,” Tony muttered under his breath. “Twenty S.H.I.E.L.D agents, and seven spare rooms on my floor, plus Capsicle’s on the team floor, and couches. Twenty S.H.I.E.L.D agents, and eight bed spaces. Two per room, and two per couch. Friday, assign rooms based on personality and filter for lowest chance of conflict. Direct all S.H.I.E.L.D agents to their rooms.”

Tony was surprised at how easy that had been. Maybe he was actually capable of doing things without Pepper! Who knew?

The celebrations could wait until the morning. For now, Tony needed his beauty sleep. Early mornings were a bitch to his skin. He couldn’t imagine the butter was helping with that.

*

Of course, all good things had to end eventually.

Someone was knocking on his door. Tony didn’t like it when people wanted his attention during sleepy-hours. He laid his head back down on the pillow and felt his eyes slip closed.

But the knocking wouldn’t stop.

“Boss. Your door.” Friday reminded him. Tony sat up with a groan.

“Yes, Friday, I got that. Who is it?”

“Harley Keener is knocking on your door, sir. Would you like me to open it?” Friday asked. Tony’s eyes went wide. Of course he thought designating rooms was easy, he had fucked it up. And wasn’t that just how everything in his life went?

At Tony’s hurried request, the door swung open to reveal a lanky, six-foot-something boy wearing nothing but his Hello Kitty pajama pants, death-gripping the pillow in his arms.

“To-ny,” Harley slurred, his voice heavy and deep with lethargy. “There’s people in m’ room.”

Pepper tutted from where she lay at Tony’s side. With a dramatic sigh, he heaved himself out of bed to sort out yet another problem. If he wasn’t a billionaire, Tony would probably never stop complaining about how he wasn’t paid enough to deal with this shit. So what if he forgot the kid was staying over? He’d only been here a day and Tony had spent most of that day saving the world from oleaginous potential overlords. It wasn’t his fault.

Except it was, and that meant he had to help. He gently guided the kid by his shoulder back to the room he was meant to be staying in. It was the nicest guest room in the penthouse, specially decorated for Harley (not that the kid knew it), with sky blue walls and plants on every surface to remind him of home. And in the middle of it, sitting cross legged on the king sized bed with a hand full of Uno cards each, were Nick Fury and Maria Hill.

So much for getting Harley his room back.

Tony frowned and shut the door gently. Desperate times, he reasoned.

“Do you mind sharing a room with someone? Promise it’s only for one night.” He asked.

“S’long as the room has a bed in it, I’on’ care,” Harley mumbled, releasing his vice grip on the pillow for a second to rub aggressively at his eyes. Tony let his shoulders drop in relief and directed him the other way down the hall. He had been meaning to introduce his chil- no, his mentees eventually, and this seemed as good a time as any.

*

Harley stood fixed to the ground in shock next to Tony as the man explained the situation to the other kid- no, the angel sitting on the queen sized bed in the middle of the room. He had what looked to be a Physics textbook open on his lap in front of him, and Harley thought he heard the angel mutter something like, “Flamethrowers are dangerous, Peter. You could get hurt. Look where playing it safe got you. I couldn’t do my homework ‘cause I was too stressed and you- you smell like bad movie popcorn and guts,’ under his breath when Tony stopped talking

Harley gently lifted Tony’s hand off his shoulder and turned to face him.

“Go. I’m good here,” Harley said softly. Tony shrugged at him, and threw a strained smile at Peter that Harley roughly translated to, “Be on your best behaviour or we’ll be talking about this later.” He was well acquainted with that particular look.

Harley brushed it off and went to sit on the bed. He stuck his hand out to shake Peter’s.

“How do ‘ya do?,” He asked, his accent laying thick in the back of his throat. Peter shook his hand with a surprisingly strong grip, and his cheeks flushed a colour that reminded Harley of the baby pink irises that grew in his backyard back home.

“Good. Name’s Peter. Parker.”

“Nice to meet you, Peter. Parker. What’re you up to?” Harley flashed his most charming make-old-ladies-swoon smile, and Peter chuckled.

Harley felt himself relax. Peter’s laugh felt like a cold drink on a hot summer’s day, cooling him down on the inside while his face grew warm. It was light, and refreshing, and... he had missed the answer to his question.

“What was that, darlin’?”

Peter’s blush grew darker, and he squirmed for a second until he realised what he was doing and stopped abruptly.

“Physics homework. It’s boring, and it sucks. D’you wanna watch a movie or something instead?”

God, his voice was just as pretty as his laugh. Everything about Peter was pretty. He had really fluffy bed-head that reminded Harley of a pom pom, that he just wanted so badly to run his fingers through, and Harley could feel the blood in his cheeks heat himself up enough that he could just melt into Peter’s chocolate river eyes.

Harley was staring, and clearly Peter got the wrong idea.

“Or, or we could just go to bed, if you wanna, I just thought since it’s not that late-”

Harley’s eyebrows furrowed, and Peter’s sentence trailed off. They stared into each other's eyes for what felt like ten minutes, though it couldn’t have been more than a couple of seconds. Harley imagined being engulfed by liquid bronze as he tried to swim in the thick swirls of brown and gold in Peter’s irises.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, and mumbled,

“Yeah, movie sounds great. What’ve you got?”

Peter smiled at him and pulled up the covers so Harley could get in properly. He pushed himself up against the headboard, arranging cushions behind him to support his back during the movie.

“Already got one open,” Peter said, scooching up next to Harley under the covers and laying his laptop between them. “It’s a classic.”

Harley smiled as the opening credits of Clueless began to play. Peter had great taste.

*

“Morning, lovebirds,” Tony said gleefully.

Harley groaned and grabbed his pillow tighter, pulling it flush to his chest and burying his face in it to shield himself from the light.

Except, the thing in his arms was something much harder than a pillow, and the scent of chemical coconut filling his lungs was definitely of a shampoo.

His sentient pillow groaned, pulling him closer and mumbled, “Five more minutes, Miss’r Stark.”

“No can do. Aliens are dead, and Clint made breakfast!” Tony’s jubilant tone didn’t falter. Harley raised an eyebrow at the man.

“What’d he make?” Harley asked sceptically. He hadn’t met the Avengers many times, but even he knew not to trust Clint’s cooking.

“Butter croissants!”

Harley stiffened, and Peter let a puff of breath that warmed Harley’s chest and mumbled,

“Oh, hell no.”

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Queer Eye for the Cap Guy ~ Part 6

A/N: Hello my darling lovelies! So as you all know I’ve been on hiatus. I am still sort of on hiatus. I don’t really know what will come when, but things are settling so I’m hoping to share more with you in the near future. But for now. The long awaited (at least on my end) Karamo section his here. This took a really long time, because I didn’t feel like I was doing Steve’s character justice, and I hope that I did. 

Also thanks a million to @supermusicallee​ for listening to me rant my way through every incarnation of this scene. 

Summary: Karamo talks to Steve about his self-image. Who really knows Steve Rogers 

Rating: T 

Warnings; Angst, honestly this one is heavy. It deals with Steve’s feelings of inadequacy both before and after the serum. Mentions character deaths and survivor’s guilt. It ends I hope in an uplifting way, but Steve’s got baggage and this is me trying to unpack it 

Word Count: 2389 

Steve and Jonathan were chatting casually when Karamo arrived.

“Oh. My. God. You look amazing.”

“Jonathan does great work,” Steve replied, deflecting the compliment but couldn’t hide his smile.

“I mean I do,” Jonathan agreed, “But it’s not just that.”

Karamo seemed stunned by the change in Steve.

“You are glowing. How do you feel?”

“I feel great. Honestly. I like what I see when I look in the mirror,” he added softly.

Karamo and Jonathan beamed at him.  

“Awesome. Awesome. Well are you ready to spend some time with me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright then, let’s go.”

Steve hugged Jonathan one more time and followed Karamo out to the truck.

“So a little birdie told me that you always dreamed about taking art classes at the Brooklyn Academy of the Arts.”

“Once upon a time, yeah.”  

“Well, we’re going to check out a class today.”

“Really?” Steve couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes, sir. And here we are.”

 “Welcome, class. Today we’re working on our shadow perspective. And then we’ll work on our self-portraits.”

Steve was all smiles as they taught about how to use shadows in your art to add depth, and enhance human features. But that faded somewhat when they started working on the self-portraits.

The crease in his brow deepened with each swipe of charcoal on the canvas. Still, the completed piece was beautiful.

“You are very talented, Captain Rogers.”  

Steve’s cheeks reddened with the praise at the instructor’s comment.

“Thank you. And thank you for the lesson, it was enlightening.”

“Thank you so much. Do you mind if we hang out in here for a while?” Karamo asked as he shook hands.

“Take as much time as you like,” she offered before exiting the room.

Both men sat back down in front of their easels, Steve adding a few more details to his sketch.

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome. But I didn’t just bring you here for art lessons. I wanted to really get a chance to talk to you.”

Steve nodded. He’d been expecting this. And he’d been dreading it.

“You mentioned at the beginning of the week that you wanted to find a future, and I want to help you do that. But we can’t talk about your future until we talk about your past and your present. Now I didn’t just pick this class for you to learn some techniques. So let’s take a look at how you see yourself. What’s going on in this?”

He gestured to the sketch of Steve in his uniform and helmet holding his shield.  It was incredibly detailed down to char marks on the shield and the texturing on the suit. But his face was hidden by the helmet.  

“It’s me.”

“I want you to tell me what about this sketch is you. Because I just see Captain America. Where does Steve Rogers show up? ”

Steve let out a sad laugh.

“He’s in there. They’re pretty much the same person.”

“You weren’t always Captain America.”

“Don’t think that skinny kid from Brooklyn was all that interesting,” Steve scoffed.  

“And what about the man that you are now? He’s not Captain America.”

“He’s not all that interesting either. People don’t care about the man behind the cowl.”

Steve smudged his finger along the charcoal lines of his jaw, softening it slightly.

“Do you care about the man behind the cowl?”

“I-,” Steve clamped his mouth shut as the question seemed to rattle into his bones.

“Since you got the serum have you ever defined yourself as something outside of Captain America?”

“I mean I left the shield behind when everything happened with Tony. I wasn’t Captain America then.”

“But were you Steve Rogers or were you just not Captain America?” Karamo gestured firmly with his hands.

“I guess the second one. But I didn’t really think about it. We were all so focused on not getting caught, and maybe actually still managing to do some good. Though that was questionable.”

Leaning forward in his seat Karamo studied Steve’s facial expressions.

“Did you want to be Captain America again?”

“After I was pardoned you mean?”

“Before or after. I’m just curious if that was what you were fighting for.”

Steve was silent again, observing his own sketch.

“I guess so. I mean at this point it feels like all I’ve ever known.”

“But is it what you want?”

“I want to help people. I can do that as Captain America.”

“Is that the only way you can do that though?”

“Feels like it sometimes. I went into the ice, one hundred percent certain that that was the end. I chose. And I’d make the choice again. My life against thousands, no question. I was at peace with that decision when I went into the ice. And then I woke up. Seventy years in the future.”

His voice was tight as he spoke, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“And suddenly Captain America is a legend, something bigger than I could have ever dreamed. I saw what he meant to people, and I thought it was a good way to get back into the world. To do good in the world. I’m not quite sure I ever deserved the mantle at least in its current incarnation, but once I had it I couldn’t separate myself from it. Until it all came crashing down and I had to choose. I couldn’t pretend the man that I was and the persona of the perfect soldier were the same person. They never really were.”

“And the man that you are? Who is he?”

“Just a guy from Brooklyn. He used to be a hero. But he’s not all that important anymore.”

Karamo held his hand up.

“I’m going to stop you. You, Steve Rogers, are important to a lot of people. Not as Captain America, as you. I had the opportunity to talk to some of your teammates on Tuesday. Do you know what they talked about?”

“Not a clue.”

“Well, they didn’t talk about missions or press conferences. They told me how you make their lives better by being you. Natasha told me about the family dinners you organized. And the time you and Bucky spent the afternoon winning stuffed animals for little kids and Coney Island. Y/n talked about how you sneak her chocolate when she’s in the med bay and that you’ll re-watch her favorite Disney movies just to make her smile. And Sam told me about you learning how to lead support groups for returning vets. You mean everything to those people. And you’ve touched so many other lives, your other teammates, those kids, those veterans. You mean something to every single one of them. The only person who thinks for even a second that Steve Rogers doesn’t matter, is you. Can you tell me why that is?”

“Because I don’t deserve it. Captain America has saved people. All I’ve ever done is get people killed,” he spoke clearly, confidently, and Karamo could see that Steve believed that down to his very bones.

“So you’re telling me that every time you failed that was you, but every time you won it was Captain America?”

Steve nodded.

“That’s not how it works. Captain America and Steve Rogers aren’t Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. All of your bad isn’t in one and your good in the other.”

“Maybe not. But Captain America is a national treasure. Steve Rogers is a footnote in his history. I am a footnote in his history.”

Tears which Steve had managed to keep at bay finally broke through the dam, wetting his cheeks. Karamo reached out to comfort him with a firm hand on his shoulder.  

“Before the serum, I was nothing but a burden. My Ma raised me all on her own, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to help her. I was so sick. Every time I got a job I’d get hit by some sort of illness. She was taking care of me and everyone else around her until the day she died. Bucky was the only one who didn’t see me as something to wipe off their shoes before they came in the house, but even then he was trying to take care of me, pulling me out of alleys or dragging me to his house so he knew I’d eaten.”

Steve quieted for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“Even when he’d left for the army he was trying to look out for me, he’d wanted me to stay with his mom and his little sister, but I met Dr. Erskine that night. I was never really of any use to anybody. And then I got this body and the first thing I did was let the man who’d believed in me die. And in no time flat I led Bucky to the same fate. Actually a worse fate, given what he went through. I’ve got blood on my hands that nearly a century in the ice couldn’t wash away. Nothing could ever wash it away. But that’s not in the history books now is it?”

Angry sobs racked the super soldier, and his head fell to Karamo’s shoulder. The culture expert simply held him as he cried.

“There’s always been a part of me that was relieved to lean in to the façade when I came out of the ice. I could chalk most things up to waking up in a new century. It didn’t take long to figure out what people expected and after that it was easy to act accordingly. I chose to leave Steve Rogers behind because I couldn’t face what I’d done. I think I thought I was honoring those I’d gotten killed in a way, by being a hero and pushing aside the pain. I was Captain America and that’s who they died for after all. But when I came face to face with Bucky on that bridge, that wall crumbled and every ounce of guilt I’ve ever felt consumed me. I couldn’t push the man down anymore, and then more people got hurt because I wasn’t being Captain America. I don’t regret what I did with Bucky and the Accords but I regret that so many people were hurt on my watch. I’m not sure how to live with that. I feel like tarnished the one good thing I had brought to the world. The shield.”

“You are such a good person, Steve, and you have brought so many good things to the world. People believe in you not in the shield. Yes, there are always consequences for our actions and there are things that we have to own. But there is a line between taking responsibility and blaming yourself. You did not let anybody die. You didn’t choose that. Terrible things happened, but just because you weren’t able to prevent them doesn’t mean you let them happen,” Karamo assured him.

“I should have been able to stop it,” Steve argued half-heartedly, his breath was still ragged.

“I know the serum gave you super strength and probably a lot of other things we don’t know about, but it didn’t make you perfect.”

“That I know,” he murmured humorlessly.  

“Would you say that you tried to be superhuman after the serum?”

He was already shaking his head.

“I just wanted to be good enough.”

“It is good enough to be exactly who you are. That’s not to say that you can’t improve. But you are human. We succeed and we fail. And we grow from it. The thing about symbols is that they are whatever people want them to be. You need to be what you want to be. And that doesn’t mean good enough. And it doesn’t mean Captain America. It means Steve through and through. Come with me.”

Steve reluctantly followed him to the large mirror. It was cloudy and streaked with specks of paint but he was still faced with his reflection.

“Tell me who you see.”

It was a long time before he spoke. Steve had been looking in mirrors all week. And he hadn’t been lying when he told Tan and Jonathan that he liked what he saw, but he hadn’t realized just how little he felt like it was him he was looking back at.

“Is he Captain America?” Karamo pressed.

“No,” he shook his head. “But he’s not that skinny kid from Brooklyn either.”

Steve stared hard, looking for himself in what he saw, and finally he saw it. The set of his jaw as he focused on the task at hand. It had never changed, no matter how big he got.

“He’s me. But a new version. Someone I don’t quite know yet.”

‘Who do you want to be?”

“I want to be someone who’s not afraid to let people in. I want to be close to people, to let them see who I really am.”

“Good. Good. And you know what? You have already taken the first step. You let me and the other guys in. You have been so open with us and I hope that you can continue that with your friends.”

“I do too. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, there’s one more thing I need you to do.”

“What?”

“I want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself ‘I am enough.’. Go on.”

“I’m enough,” Steve mumbled, not looking at his reflection.

“No, eyes on you.”

“I am enough,” he murmured a little louder this time.

“Scream it.”

“I AM ENOUGH!”

He yelled to get Karamo off his back, but Steve’s voice carried through the halls of the building and echoed back to him. Through him. And for the first time he believed it.  

“I am enough,” he whispered softly in acceptance. Karamo Interview

“Steve has spent so much time separating himself from his public identity that he’s completely forgotten who he is. And it doesn’t seem like he wanted to know. He has convinced himself that the people around him are only there because he’s Captain America, but that is so not true. They love him for who he is, but he had to love himself for who he is. And he’s on his way to do that, as he lets go of the pain and the guilt and just be Steve for the first time in maybe ever. 

~~~~~~~~

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed and that I did this justice. Thank you so much for reading! I’m planning two more parts probably but the last part will be very long I think so it may be broken out. I don’t have timeline but once I know what’s going on I’ll let you know. I’ve missed you all my darlings. Hope all is well. 

Tag lists are open 

Queer Eye for the Cap Guy Tag List @a-random-queer-kid @mimisparkle12 @phoenix-whiskey-tears @taliarosej00 @cs-please

Steve/Chris Tag List @isaxhorror @peachykeen3502 @patzammit @wordlesscaptain @coffeebooksandfandom @hereisanapplepie @mywinterwolf​ @straightforwardly​

Marvel Tag List @hdthdthdt​   @sophiatomlinson23​ @misty-panther @supermusicallee​ @scarlettsoldier​ @acupofhotlatte​ @slender--spirit​ @petitesmate​ @libbymouse​

Permanent Tag List @iamwarrenspeace​ @jayzayy​ @bexboo616​ @neoqueen306​ @santheweird​ @rowenaravencalw​ @buckitybarnes​ @prxttybirdz​ @sergeantjbuckybarnes​ @captainsamwlsn​ @broitsmydick @ailynalonso15​ @nyxveracity​ @queenoftrash97​ @walkingtravesty97​ @lamia-maizat @memyselfandmaddox​ @lowkeybuckyb​ @whiskey2011​ @averyrogers83​ @lovingpeterparker @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @beansparker​ @coralphantomninja​ @xxashy999xx​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @ravennightingaleandavatempus​ @paintballkid711​ @whosmarisaaarw​ @silverkitten547​ @yknott81​ @mmmmmmmmmchicken​ @thefridgeismybestie​ @crispy-kitten​ @isabelcrichards​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @loving-life-my-way​

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Are Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

By Talking About The First Sequel To The Massive Blockbuster Known As The Avengers, Avengers: Age Of Ultron...

This Film Sees Earth's Mightiest Heroes Reuniting To Battle A Threat Created By Tony Stark And Bruce Banner Called Ultron, Who Is Out To Create What He Believes To Be The Peace Of Our Time When Really He's Causing Massive Human Extinction....

Will The Avengers Be Able To Prevent The Age Of Ultron With The Help Of Enemies Quicksilver And Scarlet Witch And A New Ally Who Calls Himself The Vision?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Avengers: Age Of Ultron...

The Film Starts In Sokovia With The Avengers Launching An Attack On Baron Von Strucker's Fortress And Forces...

(End At 4:30)

(End At 4:25)

Searching Strucker's Secret Room, Tony Finds One Of The Chitauri's Leviathans Before He Finds Loki's Scepter But Before He Can Grab It He's Blasted By The Other Olsen Twin Who Gives Him A Vision Of The Avengers Failing To Save Earth Because He Failed...

And It's This Vision That Changes Tony Completely And Makes Tony Believe Every Decision He Makes From Here On Out Is The Right One Even Though To Others It May Seem Like The Wrong Choice...

As Kick Ass Zooms In We Get A Title Card As Tony Grabs The Scepter...

Returning To The Newly Dubbed Avengers Tower, Hill (Who Now Works For Tony After The Downfall Of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Tells Cap About Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver While Hawkeye Gets Healed And Tony's Iron Legion Returns From Sokovia...

But As All That Goes On Tony (With Help From J.A.R.V.I.S.) Analyze Loki's Staff And Discover That While The Scepter Is Alien, The Jewel Is Housing Something Inside That's Like A Computer As J.A.R.V.I.S. Discovers Code...

Telling Banner This By Showing Him The Data Of The Jewel, Tony Thinks That It Is Perfect For His Ultron Program That Tony Is Making For His Iron Legion And Asks For Bruce's Help With It.

Despite Being Against It At First And Wanting To Tell The Rest Of The Team, Bruce Eventually Caves And Decides To Help Tony While They Have The Staff For The Alotted 3 Days That Thor Is Allowing Them To Have...

As Tony And Banner Get Ready For A Party Tony Is Throwing In Honor Of The Avengers Defeat Of Strucker, The Ultron Integration To The Iron Legion Is Complete. But As Ultron Awakens, He Questions His Programming Which Leads To Ultron Malfunctioning And Using Advanced A.I. Abilities To Kill J.A.R.V.I.S. As He Creates A Body Out Of One Of The Iron Legion Armors

Meanwhile, At Tony's Party Everyone Seems To Be Having A Good Time Even The Avengers Themselves, Rhodey (Who's Back As War Machine From Now On)

Guess Iron Patriot Didn't Well With Focus Groups After All...

Sam (Who's Been Helping Cap Track Down Bucky Since The End Of Winter Solider) And Stan Lee Who's Cameo Is Here...

Stan Lee Cameo!

Anyway After Everyone Is Gone The Avengers Along With Rhodey And Maria Hill They Hold A Contest Of Who Could Lift Thor's Hammer With Cap Being The Closest Only To Be Interrupted By Ultron, Who Reveals He Is On A Mission To Destroy The Avengers With The Help Of Stark's Iron Legion...

Escaping Through The Internet, Ultron Goes To Strucker's Castle Where He Can Build Himself A New Body...

With Everything Gone From Their Computers And Loki's Staff Gone As Well, They Discover The Computerized Remains Of J.A.R.V.I.S. As The Team Worries About Ultron Hacking Into Nuke Codes....

Knowing That They Have To Not Only Get The Scepter Back But Stop Ultron, They Ask Tony Why Ultron Is Trying To Kill Them And Of Course It All Goes Back To The Battle With The Chitauri And Tony's Vision That Scarlet Witch Gave Him...

Speaking Of Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver, In Sokovia, Ultron In A New Body Recruits Them To Help With His Plans To Save The World By Getting Rid Of The Avengers As We Discover Why Scarlet Witch Let Tony Have The Scepter Which Is Because She Saw Tony's Fear And That It Would Control Him And Make Him Self Destruct...

Uh, Self Destruct On Him? How About Self Destruct On You Or Do The Words Civil War Not Mean Anything To You, Wanda?

And Why They Are Who They Are And That's Because They Believe Tony Stark Killed Their Parents As One Of His Companies Missiles Killed Their Folks And Nearly Killed Them As They Were Buried Under Rubble...

Discovering Reports Of A Metal Man Or Men, Someone Making People See Old Fears And Memories And Someone Too Fast To See Breaking Into Robotics Labs, Weapons Facilities And Jet Propulsion Labs All Over The Globe, The Avengers Continue Their Search For Ultron...

But When Strucker Is Found Dead In His Cell With The Word Peace Written In Blood, They Start Going Through Hard Copy Files When Everything They Had On Strucker Is Gone From Their Computers...

Eventually Tony Discovers That Someone He Once Knew Named Ulysses Klaw With Connections To The Home Of A Certain Black Panther And The Vibranium That Not Only Powers His Suit But Captain America's Shield...

Traveling To Africa, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch And Ultron Do Buisness With Ulysses Klaw (Played By Supreme Leader Snoke) To Get Vibranium Only For Ultron To Cut Of Klaw's Hand When Ultron Says Something That Tony Stark Once Said To Him...

Ooh, Foreshadowing....

(Start At 1:10)

Blasted By Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Cap And Thor Have Visions We Start Black Widow Who Sees Visions Of Her Time In The Red Room (Which Is The Black Widow Training Ground) Then Move On To Cap Who Is At A 1930s Dance Hall Where He Dances With Peggy Only To Have A Symbolic Moment, I Guess Which Has Him Realizing That Everyone He Cared For Back Then Is Gone...

And Finally Thor Who Sees That Asgard Has Turned Into Christian Grey's Playground Only To Be Confronted By Heimdall Who Sees That Thor Will Lead Them Into Hell And He Will Destroy Them (Which Obviously Isn't True)...

Anyway Aside From Those Moments Of Either Foreshadowing Or Just Scenes That Have No Reason To Be In This Movie, Tony Eventually Destroys The Version Of Ultron That's There Only To Now Deal With A Rampaging Hulk That Scarlet Witch Has Turned Loose On The City Which Forces Tony To Activate The Hulkbuster Suit To Take Him Down...

(Start At 0:30, End At 4:50)

With Banner Calmed Down, The Avengers Decide To Lay Low As Hill Deals With The Press And The Police On The Attack In Africa But The Question Now Is Where Do They Go?, Luckily, Hawkeye May Have The Answer They're Looking For...

Taking Them To A Rustic Farm (That Looks Like It May Already Be Occupied By The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, April O'Neil And Casey Jones) Hawkeye Introduces The Team To His Family...

Wow, I Didn't Know Velma Dinkley Was Married To A Superhero....

While Ultron, Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver Visit The Team Doctor, Helen Cho In Seoul So She Can Create A Living Body Into A Reanimation Cradle That Her And Tony Have Been Developing For Ultron To Download His Consciousness Into, Refusing, Ultron Decides To Convince Helen To Help Him Using Loki's Scepter...

Back On The Farm, The Team Has Some Moments On The Farm Which Eventually Lead To Tony Talking With Nick Fury In The Barn, Who Aside From Telling Tony To Cut It Out With The Maximoff Vision Crap, Is There To Help The Team...

Telling The Team That Ultron Isn't Having Any Luck Getting Nuke Launch Codes As They're Changed Frequently By Unknown Sources And That His Contacts Believe That Ultron Is Actually Building Something Which Leads Banner To Realize That Ultron Is Trying To Evolve Above Humans As He Believes Humans Are Significantly Insufficient Hence Helen Cho...

And Speaking Of Dr. Cho, She Is Just About Done With Ultron's New Body Only Thing That Needs To Be Added Is The Stone From Loki's Scepter Which Is Revealed To Be The Mind Stone...

With Steve Taking Natasha And Clint With Him, Tony Heads To Oslo To Do Reconnaissance From There While Fury Takes Banner Back To Avengers Tower So He Can Pick Up Hill Who Will Help Him With Something Dramatic...

But You're Probably Wondering Where Thor Is...

Well, Unable To Get Scarlet Witch's Vision From His Mind Thor Decides To Take Off To Get Erik Selvig To Take Him To The Spa Of Sight That Will Allow Him To Re-Enter His Dream To Find Out What He Missed...

Uh, Unless You're Into Weird Fetishes, Thor I Highly Doubt You Missed Anything...

But Miss Something He Did, As It Shows All The Infinity Stones Except For The Time Stone And I Guess Ultron's Plan...

And Speaking Of Ultron's Plan, Wanda Looks Into The Mind Of The Body That Is Inside Of The Reanimation Cradle And Sees Ultron's Ultimate Plan To Destroy The World...

Believing That Ultron Lied To Them, Wanda Snaps Dr. Cho Out Of Her Mind Stone Hypnosis And She Stops The Download Which Forces Ultron To Kill Her And Her Team As The Maximoffs Escape...

As Cap, Hawkeye And Widow Arrive With Enough Time To Save Dr. Cho, Ultron And His Metal Minions Take The Reanimation Cradle Onto A Truck Only For Hawkeye To Spot It From Above So Cap Can Jump On It And Fight Ultron...

With The Help Of The Maximoff Twins, Cap Was Able To Stop Ultron And Save A Runaway Train While Widow Gets The Reanimation Cradle On The Quinjet With Hawkeye Only For Widow To Get Captured By Ultron's Minions

Talking With The Maximoffs Afterward, They Ask Where The Reanimation Cradle Is Only For Cap To Tell Them That It's On It's Way To Tony, Which Leads Wanda To Believe That He Will Only Make Matters Worse By Using It To Fix Things

And Right She Is, As Tony To Convince Banner To Help Him Place The Person Who Has Been Beating Ultron All Along Into The Reanimation Cradle, J.A.R.V.I.S

Turns Ultron Didn't Attack J.A.R.V.I.S. Because He Was Scared But Attacked Him Because He Was Afraid Of What He Could Do, So He Went Underground And Scattered His Memory Throughout The Net To Try To Stop Ultron...

Believing That After All That's Happened It's A Bad Idea, Banner Decides To Do It Anyway. Luckily, Cap And The Maximoff Twins Arrive To Stop Them Which Leads To A Heated Argument Of Right And Wrong Between The Team Until Thor Arrives To Get Everyone To Shut Up And Bring The Body In The Reanimation Cradle To Life...

Forming Clothes And A Cape Out Of It's Skin, Thor Tells The Others About His Vision And That Tony Is Right The Avengers Cannot Beat Ultron Not Alone...

Telling Cap And The Others That Unlike Ultron He Is On The Side Of Life Where Ultron Isn't And That He Doesn't Want To Kill Him But The Pain He Is Creating Will Roll Over The Earth If He Isn't Destroyed Which Kind Of Gets Them To Trust Them...

But None Of That Matters Now As Barton Has Located Ultron With Nat In Sokovia And Need To Go Now...

With Tony Downloading A New A.I. Named F.R.I.D.A.Y. To His Suit And Ultron Knowing That They're Coming The Odds Are Stacked Against Them So, The Priority Will Be The Evacuation Of The City While Discovering What Ultron Has Been Building At Strucker's Fortress And Saving Black Widow At The Same Time Which Banner Does Only So They Could Run Afterward...

But Knowing That She'll Be Unable To Live With Herself If That Happens, Widow Pushes Banner Down A Hole So He Can Become The Hulk...

(Imitating Baby Plucky) Hulk Go Down The Hole!

On Board The Quinjet, The Hulk Gets A Call From Black Widow Asking Him To Turn Back But Instead He Decides To Go Off On His Own To Take A Nice Vacation In Sakkar As Vision Destroys The Last Ultron Minion, Destroying Ultron Once And For All...

And With Everything Done, Hawkeye Decides To Retire From The Avengers To Spend Time With His Family While Tony Builds A New Training Facility/Alternate HQ For The Avengers Where They Can Train...

But Unfortunately It's Going To Have To Be Without Thor (Who Is Going Off To Solve The Mystery Of Who Is Making The Infinity Stones Appear Out Of Nowhere) And Tony (Who Is Going Spend More Time With Pepper And Build Her A Log Cabin) But Just Because The Team Is Down A Few Members It Doesn't Mean That They'll Be Short On Team Members....

Nope, Not On Your Life As Scarlet Witch, The Vision, Falcon And War Machine Join The Team As New Avengers...

Sadly, There's No End Credit Scene But There Is A Mid Credits Scene Which Sees Thanos Grabbing The Infinity Gauntlet And Deciding To Take Matters Into His Own Hands...

And That's Avengers: Age Of Ultron And...It's Okay...

While The Action Scenes Are Great, The Villain Is Good And There Is Loads Of Character Development Throughout The Movie, The Color In Some Of Those Fight Scenes Are Not Good Especially The Ones In Africa, Having Both Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver As Bad Guys Was Completely Pointless (Yes, I Know In Their Comic Book History They Were Bad Guys Before They Became Good Guys But Without Magneto And The Brotherhood That Part In Their History Is Pointless)...

There Are More Reasons Why I Don't Like This Movie But I Feel Like I've Been Writing This Review Forever And I Just Want To End It Also I Can't Think Of Any Other Reasons Right Now So, For This One I Would Say Skip It But I Honestly Don't Know If It's That Bad To Skip So I'll Leave This One Up To You Guys....

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[avengersmusings]

FULL NAME: Steven Grant Rogers MEANING: Crown, Wreath NICKNAME: Steve, Stevie, Cap, Daddy MEANING: Steve’s a shortened version of his name; Stevie was a nickname started by his mom and picked up by Bucky; Cap is usually what the team calls him; Daddy is Elise’s name for him :) AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 30, is actually 102 BIRTHDAY: July 4th, 1917 ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Cancer SPECIES: Enhanced Human GENDER: Cis Male ALLERGIES: None SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Bisexual THEME SONG(S): America’s Suitehearts by Fall Out Boy; Dancing with Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift, Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley; Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Dark Blonde/Light Brown HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Close cut in the back with a little bit extra on top. Think Infinity War style hair.  EYES COLOR: Blue EYESIGHT: 20/20, now. Holy shit it was terrible before the serum. HEIGHT: 6″2′ WEIGHT: 230 lbs OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: The uniform is a must on mission but when he’s being Steve and not Captain America it’s kahkis and plaid shirts and button ups and old man clothes. ABNORMALITIES: None. DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Stretch marks along hips and stomach area from serum, small injection scars from the serum, and that’s about it. Maybe some moles here and there. SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Steve always looks put together okay, the 40s shoved that into him and won’t let go. FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: People either underestimate him because they think he’s a “dumb blonde” or immediately respect him because he’s Captain America. SKIN COLOR: White mixed BODY TYPE/BUILD: Lean, Muscular, built like fucking truck with a tiny ass waist.  DEFAULT EXPRESSION: It’s either “I have no idea what I’m doing” or “you WILL follow orders” there’s no in between. POSTURE: Honestly it depends? Steve makes himself smaller and tries not take up too much space but Cap? Takes up space and commands the room when walking in. PIERCINGS: None. DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Steve’s voice has a subtle Brooklyn accent and takes on a softer tone than you’d expect out of him. His voice hardens and deepens when he goes in Captain mode.

RELATIONS:

MOM: Sarah Rogers HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Steve’s mom was his whole world before she died. Sarah took care of him when he was sick and her death almost ruined him. DAD: Joseph Rogers HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Joseph died when Steve was young, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t remember how terrible his father was. The man was abusive and the day he got shipped off to WW1 was the best day for Steve and Sarah. SIBLINGS: N/A HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A CHILDREN: N/A HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: N/A PAST LOVER(S): Peggy Carter (Ex-Crush) CURRENT LOVER: Elise Burke and Bucky Barnes REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: Steve can talk to anyone okay, he makes friends with everyone he meets. ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Steve is a team player you cannot tell me he isn’t.  HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Steve is basically a puppy he’s sociable and outgoing. FRIENDS: The Avengers team, Wanda Maximoff, Elise, Bucky. PETS: Scout, a golden retriever. LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Bullies, men who take advantage of other people. PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Protective, Will do anything and everything for his kid. FAVORITE PEOPLE: Elise, Bucky, Clint, Thor, the rest of the Avengers LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Red Skull, Bullies, ignorant people.

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: ? Distant, Confident, and Inspiring ..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Affectionate, Warm, Funny. ..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Intimidating, Closed Off, Guarded. FAVORITE COLOR: Blue FAVORITE FOOD: New York Style pizza, hot dogs, anything covered in cheese thanks. FAVORITE ANIMAL: Doggos FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Saxophone FAVORITE ELEMENT: Air LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: Yellow LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Anything from the 40s. LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Emus, the bullies of the animal kingdom. LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Honestly none of them? LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water HOBBIES: Art, slow dancing, warm baths or lounging in sunlight. USUAL MOOD: Friendly and approachable but also keeping a slight aura of leadership.

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Nope, not really. None of them have much affect on him and he was too sick to get into the 40s habit of smoking. DARK VERSION OF SELF: Most likely brainwashed into believing Hyrda is right, follows any order without hesitate or regard for civilian life, the “perfect Soldier”. LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Intelligent, quick to make a call that will save as many people as possible, rushing headlong into trouble to help out a civilian. HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: In Cap mode? Full on serious nothing can make him crack, but as Steve? He’s somewhere in the middle. BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: No. If so his dad would probably be hanging around and he doesn’t want that. (IN)DEPENDANT: Both honestly? Like Steve likes to pretend to be this independent person who doesn’t need help, but he also secretly craves it. So I’d say somewhere in the middle. SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: BUCKY AND ELISE, failing the team or not saving something, doing something without regard to personal safety or well being. OPINION ON SWEARING: Steve won’t curse in public okay, that’s the 40s “good Catholic boy” upbringing in him but in private? He was in the army and BUCKY IS HIS BEST FRIEND :) DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Steve “I don’t know what a parachute is” Rogers is the opposite of cautious. MUSIC TYPE: Older, softer music. MOVIE TYPE: Romantic Comedies, Comedies in general, Musicals. BOOK TYPE: History books, and then he gets mad about facts that are wrong. GAME TYPE: Cards, maybe? Those have been around for a while so they haven’t changed that much. COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Steve would rather die than be cold. He enjoys warmer weather and sunshine and just not being cold. SLEEPING PATTERN: Steve’s an old man that’s in bed before 10 and up at like 8. He also takes up A TON of space in the bed and basically smothers whoever he’s sleeping with.  CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Steve prefers things to be neat and orderly but isn’t bothered by a little mess. As long as it doesn’t get too bad or become a habit. DESIRED PET: So many dogs. HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Doodling on scrap papers, boxing, lounging around in sunshine or warm spaces. BIGGEST SECRET: I feel like Steve really doesn’t have secrets? Maybe his dad being abusive because he doesn’t really want to talk about it. HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Bucky and Elise. WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: A golden retriever. FEARS: Being trapped in a cold, tight space, losing Elise or Bucky, failing the team and causing someone’s death, being lost in time again. COMFORTS: Elise’s perfume and Bucky’s aftershave, running laps with Scout, his mom’s old records, and reruns of old cartoons.

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Steve distants himself when he’s sad. A leader isn’t allowed to show weakness and sadness is one. He also likes talking through things that make him sad. HAPPY: Playful, energetic, probably smothering you with his biceps on accident because he gets touchy feely and wants a hug. ANGRY: Depending on how angry; it’s either the “you’ve messed up” face of disappointment or cold fury with biting, harsh words. Fists will also be thrown if he gets angry enough. AFRAID: Again, this is a weakness a leader isn’t supposed to show so Steve tries to hide it as much as possible. He withdraws and hides away until he works it out on his own or someone finds him. LOVE SOMEONE: SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEW BODYGUARD/BEST FRIEND. Steve will literally do anything for someone he loves. Anything. He’s loyal beyond believe and up for anything they ask him. HATE SOMEONE: Steve doesn’t hate that many people but those he does quickly realize that an angry Captain America is not something you want coming at you. WANT SOMETHING: Steve? Allowing himself to get what he wants? Don’t know her. He’s the definition of “waiting over 70 years to tell my best friend i love him” type of guy. CONFUSED: You know that cute look dogs get when they’re confused and trying to work things out? That’s Steve thanks.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: Danger is Steve’s middle name because he cannot stop himself from running headfirst into it.  SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Steve gets confused because he still sees himself as the tiny 90 pound scrawny kid and nobody really wanted that. PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Steve’s not against the idea of marriage, but it’s also not something he knows they can really do? So I don’t really know how he’d react to that. DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Each loss feels like a personal defeat for Steve so it’s twice as bad. But after losing pretty much everyone he’s ever cared about (even if Bucky came back) it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: That’s something that gets tossed aside until he has time to work it out, or send it to someone that can solve it quicker. INJURY: Steve gets injured and doesn’t realize it until after the mission is over like every time they go out. However, if one of his team gets injured, he’s taking down whoever hurt them. SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: Steve immediately wants to go over and hold whatever it is. Babies, dogs, you name it. LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: ........no this doesn’t happen.

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: English, ASL, French, a little German. SCHOOLING LEVEL: High School & Some Art School FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Art, History, & Writing INTERESTED CAREERS: An artist, maybe?   EXPERTISE: Combat, Shield Mastery, Master Tactician, Enhanced capabilities PUZZLES: Puzzles take him a minute but the serum helps him figure them out rather quickly. CHEMISTRY: Chemistry is probably NOT Steve’s forte but he can follow along with basic things. MATH: Again, not his forte but he understand basic things. Plus throwing the shield takes some math skills. ENGLISH: Steve was surprisingly good at English in school, from interpreting things to reading above grade level. It was one of the few interests he had that didn’t make him sicker. GEOGRAPHY: Steve can read and understand maps. POLITICS/LAW: Politics and the Law are Steve’s thing. He frequently fights against people on the internet about their political views and will fight against laws he doesn’t agree with. ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: The economy doesn’t really interest Steve, but he’s fully aware of the class divide and how bad some people have it. Current situations remind him a lot of pre-Depression times so he tries to help out as much as possible. COOKING: Steve cannot cook, he tries but cannot. SEWING: Sarah taught Steve at a young age how to sew because “if you’re going to keep ruining your clothes it’s time you learned to fix ‘em yourself STEVEN”. MECHANICS: Steve knows OF cars yes. BOTANY (FLOWERS): Besides the fact that flowers are a thing? Not so much. MYTHOLOGY: This is probably another subject Steve doesn’t know much about, it conflicts with his Catholic views he had growing up. DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): God Steve hates even thinking about this because of the Cap tour. Ouch. READING LEVEL: Above average. Steve read for fun while sick so he’s well above where he should be. HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: Steve lives off planning ahead okay. It’s his JOB as team leader to be 4 steps ahead of everyone and the bad guys. Rip Steveo.

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: No, not really. He’s more content to be pulled around and go with the flow. HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): In public? Shy, 40s boy out to play. In private? Probably the same what a loser. GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Gentleman-like, please.  GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: S L O W as fuck. PROTECTIVE: Hi hello have you met Steve? ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS:  B O T H. WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Steve’s always bringing home flowers or gifts just because. Things for Elise to wear or a plant for the house? Also a random homeless puppy? Yeah Steve’s probably brought it all home at some point. TYPE OF KISSER: Honestly, Steve’s probably soft because he’s a soft boy but that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when he can be rough :) DO THEY WANT KIDS: He can’t have them but he wouldn’t mind having one. DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: Yes, even though he really cant. MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Bad decisions are unintentionally made because Steve is a reckless idiot.  ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Y E S. HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Steve likes making sure both Elise and Bucky are well taken care of even at the expense of his own pleasure okay.  GET JEALOUS EASY: Not really? After everything they’ve all been through none of them really have to worry about anything. WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: You mean beating up people that do this? Hell yeah. MARRY FOR MONEY: Nope. FAVORITE POSITION: Steve enjoys being plowed by Bucky while Elise is on top of him thanks. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: Naked art time. Just using Bucky and Elise as a canvas and making a mess while doing it? Yes please. OPINION ON SEX: Sex was always something Steve wasn’t really interested in? Mostly because nobody wanted him (or so he thought) but now that he has two people that always want him? It’s a good workout and way to spend time with his two favorite people.

[girlbookwrm]

HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT’S META TIME

(spoiler warnings for IW.)

My roomie and I often lament how Steve often gets shortshafted on character development because of who he is. like, how do you give a good arc to someone is always, always capital-r Right? like. Tree by the river of truth, you know? Steve is the heart and soul of the Avengers. He is the Rock that church is built on. he is IMMOVABLE.

and then. Captain America has the Audacity to walk onto my screen in IW and say this:

...

bitch wtf u been doing at the end of every single movie that bears your name?

like

in TFA they test his Right-ness by having him make the ultimate sacrifice. (the ultimate sacrifice is Bucky, to be clear.) But Cap sticks by his guns (and honors bucky’s sacrifice with his own sacrifice), because that’s how Cap do.

And then in TWS, SIKE CAP YOUR WHOLE WORLD IS A LIIIIIIEEEE. the people you’ve been fighting for since you came back? THEY’RE SECRETLY EVIL. the thing you gave your life to defeat? IT WAS NEVER GONE! that guy who gave his life for your cause? HE’S BRAINWASHED AND FIGHTING FOR THE BAD GUYS NOW. But Cap sticks by his guns (and sacrifices himself for Bucky), because that’s how Cap do.

and when, in CW, he’s faced with a situation where there really isn’t a right answer/wrong answer. Tony has a good point, and Steve knows that – he almost agrees to sign the Accords before he finds out about Wanda. So there’s just the argument and the counter-argument and you’re on one side, and your friends are on the other side.

But Cap sticks by his guns (and by his guns, I mean bucky) because he has Learned that principles are Important and Bucky Is Importanter. And he sacrifices his life as Captain America, giving up the shield because of his beliefs (and Bucky)

because that’s. how. cap. do.

so like.

“We Don’t Trade Lives?”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

because then i got to thinking – like, really thinking (because that’s how i do, i guess) and like. Every time Steve gives his life, his sacrifice is meaningless by the next movie. Give your life to stop hydra? Surprise! Hydra’s Back! Give your life to save Bucky? Surprise! You don’t get to keep him! Give up the shield? SURPRISE. WORLD STILL NEEDS SAVING, NO RETIREMENT 4 U.

every time Steve tries to trade in his life, nothing changes.

Since when do we NOT trade lives?

you know what? it took him three+ movies, but bless his heart he can be taught.

[asagimeta]

Ok so I never do movie break-downs/reveiws but Endgame is a one in a million type of thing, not only the end of an era, but the end of the era that started the enture connected-universe film genre, so I'm allowing myself because this moment is literally something we'll never have again, there is never going to be a "first" end of era again, sure some day the DCEU will do this, The Conjuring verse may do this, Arrowverse will actually do this next fall with Infinite Crisis, etc, but... this truly will be the only "first" time we get this end of era and I have Opinions so follow me down the rabbit hole

I'm only touching on a few points, as a head's up, and I generally really enjoyed the movie! I don't have the time or patience to type out everything I liked about it so there may seem like there's more criticism than praise but I promise you, I thoroughly enjoyed this and thought it was the best of the four Avengers movies by far

-I think my biggest complaint is the bullshit about the soul stone, for two reasons:

1. As a plot point, the soul stone decision being irreversable is just kind of ... weird, mostly because we don't have that much information on how it works, so it feels a little "stakes for the sake of stakes" to me

2. Are you really telling me that the only two people that had no chance of coming back are two of the only main female charectors the MCU has? Are you really, honestly, telling me that?

The MCU has gotten some more supporting female charectors and that's great but Nat and Gamora were only two of a very small feild of actual female LEADS, Mantis and Valkyrie and The Wasp and so on are great charectors but they aren't leads, and I feel like it was just a really bad decision on the filmmakers' parts to choose specifically those two and ONLY those two, it would have eased things a little if they had either brought back the original Gamora (and I'll touch on why this bothers me later) or if they had had a male involved in the Irreversable Soul Stone Death thing, it just feels frustratingly like fridging (I know it isn't but it feels that way) because there really honestly were other ways to go about it, Gamora being sacrificed in Infinity War was pretty unavoidable, but they didn't have to do Nat like that, and even if they did- because I do understand from a story perspective why they would- the ideal thing to do would have been to literally trade one soul for another, the soul stone only needs one soul to operate right? So when Natasha died, shouldn't Gamora have come back out of that thing? That would have been the ideal way to shift it in my opinion, it would create the kind of paradox that would make it impossible for Natasha to just snap back to existence (thus providing real stakes) but without the frustration of our only Gamora being AU!Gamora

And AU!Gamora is a PROBLEM

All of the development Gamora got in the first two Guardians movies is gone now, what she had with Peter is gone, what she had with Nebula is gone, her feelings of having a real family is gone.... and even if AU!Gamora builds those relationships anew, it's not going to be the same, she's working from scratch so she may as well be a new charector, and the fact that the Guardians and Nebula are already established makes it impossible for Gamora to form into the team the way she originally did, she's no longer one of the founding members with Peter, she's now an outsider being pulled into an existing group, she'll never understand the pain Nebula had been in when they fought because Nebula cares about her now and isn't going to fight her and thus express those feelings, she's never going to see just how badly Peter's father fucks him up or watch Peter sacrifice himself (ish) for the power stone because both of those are resolved issues now.....

The Gamora we knew and loved IS dead, we're working with a new one, and although I feel like Guardians 3 is going to be about finding and recruiting her, it still won't be the same and that's very frustrating

-On the topic of how things work, are you really telling me that after all of the "We have to be very carefull not to mess with the past" discussions, Steve just....... Did That? He really just lived an entire ass life mucking around with the past and having exactly zero consequences? Particularly, with Peggy, who we know for a fact was involved in major ways with Sheild? Like, I'm not speaking as a Captain America fan when I ask this, I'm legitimately confused as to why there was so much emphasis on "don't mess with the past" only for people to repeatedly do that, but ESPECIALLY Steve, it can kind of be excused to allow things like Tony talking to his dad- who doesn't know who he is- or Thor talking to his mom- who made it clear that she wasn't going to fight her fate even though she could- but Steve is just a big ol' block of confusion

Not only the Peggy thing, we could maybe excuse that, but he told his past self that Bucky was alive and his past self just... what...? Forgot??? How is it that he made such a significant change to his former self and there was exactly ZERO consequence at all? Not to mention Nebula killing past!Nebula but I can sort of hand-wave that one as having to do with actually creating a split universe (as proven by the Gamora and Thanos duplicates) but Cap ... Cap would have gone on, having had this weird encounter and being very "!!!!!!!!" about Bucky and done... what, nothing?? And if he did do something, why did that have no impact on the future at all?

I'm also conflicted on Captain America's ending as a charector, I'm glad he lived, but I almost would have preferred him having gotten stuck in the past by some Time Travel Bullshit Reason because it seemed OOC for him to leave his found family, put down his sheild, and risk the ENTIRE FUTURE by going to live a life with Peggy, even if that was a split universe, it still feels very .. I don't know the word for it, not "cop out" but too pushed I guess

For his entire journey to have centered on Steve changing as a person and getting used to living in essentially a new world, not to mention finding and saving Bucky and keeping him close, for him to completely regress and go back to America as it was, go back to the life he used to want, go live his future in the past, it all seemed really counterproductive of his journey and I actually would have preferred him going to retire elsewhere  if he really needed to

-Tony's death was probably the most avoidable thing to me because they laid out a perfect way for RDJ to exit: Retirement

I know that it was very "full circle" for Tony to begin the MCU with his life and end this era of it with his death and the ultimate form of charector growth for him to sacrifice himself, but it still felt really cheap to me when they had gone to the trouble of setting up his retirement so thoroughly and then still choosing to kill him off, I feel like it was more about "needing" to have an enormous death and choosing to "surprise" everyone by making it Tony instead of Steve versus what actually worked best for the story, Tony retiring to a quiet life that had nothing to do with money or fame or saving the world would have been equally showing of his growth in my opinion

These were my major complaints, but I have one plotline in particular that I really have the utmost praise for and that's Thor's

I know that alot of people are upset that Marvel treated his PTSD as a joke with the beer belly and the drunkness shennanigans but I don't personally veiw it that way, I don't think it was played as a joke, I think it was largely taken seriously, ofcourse I think Marvel DID put alot of the humor to ride on "lol Thor is fat and lazy now" wich is .. unfortunate, but I don't think it was as bad as alot of people are saying

Thor's conversation with his mother is probably my favorite part of the movie, Thor is consistantly shown to be a very sensitive, vulnerable person, wich is a MAGNIFICENT quality for someone who's also supposed to be the poster-boy for hypermasculinity

Thor is everything that Toxic Masculinity loves- He's a literal GOD who's gorgeous and gets attention from the ladies and beats shit up with a hammer, and he drinks, there is always EVERY opportunity to make him the living emodiement of A Fuckboy, but instead he's consistantly shown to be the exact opposite

He's sweet and compassionate and good-natured, he's openly affectionate and not afraid to cry in front of others or to wear his heart on his sleeve, he's gentle and supportive and loyal and a complete mama's boy in all of the positive uses for that term, and Endgame only reinforces all of that

Yes they made it a laughing point that he's gained weight and is an even bigger alcoholic than usual, but they also made it a point that out of everyone who had the opportunity to try to change the past, Thor is the only one who took it, because he simply couldn't stand being without his mother, not Tony who could have tried to tell his father to spend more time with him, or Steve who could have tried to see Peggy, but Thor, who just wanted his mom back

They made a huge point again and again over the fact that of everyone, Thor was taking this loss the hardest, that he had lost the most and felt the most responsible, and ultimately he also grew the most from it, he actually gave Mjolnir to Cap, gave New Asgard to Valkyrie (wich by the way is perhaps my absolute FAVORITE thing about the future of the MCU) and finally stopped trying to live up to what Odin wanted from him by trying to have a pissing math for leadership, he even "gave" Peter leadership of the Guardians, even if it was played for a joke, he never *actually* contested Peter, wich is a big step for him

Marvel isn't known for playing with trauma well, but as Marvel goes, I think Thor was handled well

I also have to say that I'm not mourning Loki yet, I feel like the after-credits scene for Guardians 3 is going to be Loki walking onto the ship going "Hello brother, did you miss me?"

Loki is in a unique position where he really could survive without having been a death from The Snappening, we KNOW that he knew something fishy was going on with the two Caps in the past and Loki is a sneaky devil who wouldn't just let something like that go, he probably devised a system for himself to come back to life or to have escaped Thanos in the first place once he realized in new-2012 that something was wrong, and unlike Tony and Steve, there are no story or contract reasons for the  MCU not to include Loki, especially since the Disney+ Loki series doesn't have anything to do with post-Endgame, atleast, yet to be mentioned

Sure split-universe!Loki would have the same problems that split-universe!Gamora has in that his development with Thor and his personal development caused by encounters with people like Hela are now moot, but unlike Gamora, Loki is still an anti-hero, he's still an asshole, and his relationship with Thor is a centuries-long one that has had many ups and downs, meeting Thor later in another villainous position wouldn't be OOC and he and Thor reconnecting over a new enemy would be fairly easy to recreate as opposed to Gamora re-experiencing a relationship with Nebula that has now permenantely changed, becoming a "new" member of the Guardians vs a founding member, and witnessing everything with Peter's family that happened Guardians 2 that can never be recreated- ever

Loki has also never been a leading role in the MCU, a core role yes, but not leading, it wouldn't be a problem for Tom Hiddleston to pop in and out of the MCU as he likes wile his primary series is on Disney+, and as that series is more of an anthology (Loki Screws With History: A Memoir) versus a chronological story to follow Endgame, Disney+ and the MCU don't even have to really consult with how the two stories would mesh, they're virtually strangers to eachother

There's, ofcourse, alot more I liked about this- the all female team-up, the importance placed on Ant-Man, everything to do with Nebula, and more, but this is all I really wanted to discuss or vent on

[xxx-cat-xxx]

Devils and Dust

“He´s been going down for so long that he´s starting to yearn for the moment he´ll finally crash. But not tonight. It´s the Friday after Peter´s birthday, and Tony owes him a grand party at the very least, after all he´s made the kid go through.”

Steve witnesses a feverish Tony falling apart after Pepper has left. This is set in an AU where Civil War didn´t happen, where Cap and Iron Man haven´t known each other very long, and where Tony´s mental health is much much worse than shown in the movies. It´s somewhat longer than I intended it to be, and also darker than the stuff I usually write, but I was in the mood.

PTSD, angst, depression (maybe?), illness, emeto. Additional TW for alcohol overuse.

I've got my finger on the trigger And tonight faith just ain't enough When I look inside my heart There's just devils and dust

- BS

It´s been a quiet week and that´s exactly the problem. Tony has always been able to deal with pressure, with adrenaline-pitching situations, life-or-death decisions. It´s peaceful times like these that get to his bones, when the lack of distraction leaves him with numb and empty and feeling useless.

The flashbacks have been coming and going for the last few days, and it doesn´t help his fragile sense of reality that he´s caught a bug somewhere and is running a temperature. He´s so detached from the world that he might find it comical, wasn´t it for the bone-deep exhaustion, the pounding in his head and the sense of foreboding that´s been weighing down on him for weeks.

He´s been having trouble sleeping, the dreams turning more and more violent every time he tries. They leave him breathless and sobbing when he awakes in his too-large double bed, Pepper´s absence so overwhelming that it´s nearly tangible. She´s been away for a month, and he´s been going down for so long that he´s starting to yearn for the moment he´ll finally crash. But not tonight. It´s the Friday after Peter´s birthday, and Tony owes him a grand party at the very least, after all he´s made the kid go through. .

He´d shifted all appointments to have the day off for preparations, but owing to another sleepless night he was finished with everything at noon, leaving him wandering around his own empty tower, unable to come up with something worth doing. He´s lacking the motivation to even enter the lab and fix the pair of robots he broke during his latest week-long workshop binge, which would probably get him worried if he could spare any energy to care about it.

When it´s time for him to get ready, his hands are shaking hard enough that he´s having trouble fixing his tie.

“How do I look, Friday?” he prompts when he has finally managed to make himself presentable. Tony has neglected the AI recently, and he can practically hear her scowling when she replies.

“Dead tired and high on caffeine, Sir, so nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Yeah, that´ll do,” he mumbles to himself and startles when he hears the doorbell ring.

The security cameras inform him that the whole group has assembled at the front door, carrying a protesting Peter on their shoulders, throwing him into the air with shouts of Happy Birthday, Spiderman. The ease of the whole scene makes something in Tony´s chest ache with longing. He takes a last look into the mirror, draws a deep breath, and opens the door.

“Look who´s here! Underoos, isn´t it past your bedtime? You´re what, 14 years old now?”

The world presents itself through a haze, making it feel like he´s watching everything on a movie screen. He hugs Rhodey a few seconds longer than usual, prompting the older man to examine him with dark, concerned eyes.

“You okay, dude? You look...worn out.”

But if there´s something that Tony Stark has become an expert at, maybe even more so than at contriving genius inventions or saving the world, it´s pretending to be alright when he´s not. He´s made it through months of Palladium poisoning, so a touch of fever and anxiety feel like a walk in the park.

“I´m great, Rhodes,” he grins, “Whaddaya say, wanna try some cobweb brownies? Took me ages to find a shop that bakes them in this shape out of the Halloween season...”

He makes his way through the evening alright, joking, catching up, and avoiding anyone who might notice his sweating and the constant jittering of his hands, which means Nat, basically. She´s been watching him closely all the time, and he has no doubt that she has realized something´s off, just as she did when he was dying a few years ago. She doesn´t say anything, though, and neither does he.

The giant cake arrives, and Bruce recounts elaborately how he managed to convince Clint not to prank Peter by hiding a bunch of real spiders inside of it, and Tony laughs and claps his way through it all, smiling at the kid whenever he catches his eye. Pete looks so happy, and he deserves it. But Tony doesn´t. He hasn´t earned himself the right to be part of anything so good or pure. The piece of cake that´s forced into his hands nearly makes him gag.

Finally, most of the group settles on the various couches for a movie. The inevitable Star Trek versus Star Wars argument commences, and Tony zones out, exhausted, slightly nauseated, thinking how he only has to last a few more hours before he can drown himself in scotch and Heavy Metal. But then Peter elbows him back into the present, and there´s a black hole on the screen that´s swallowing a spaceship, and suddenly it all comes back at him without a warning.

He barely has time to bolt to the toilet before the cake comes up together with the memories. He feels disgusted at himself when a thick stream of vomit hits the bowl, but he can´t stop retching. He´s long past empty when dry heaves are still tearing him apart, making his whole body scream in pain.

The wormhole closes in from all sides and pulls him down, deeper than he ever was. He´s retching, then shivering, then hyperventilating, and then he feels like he is dying. And what scares him most is that he can´t bring himself to really mind it anymore. He rests his aching head on the rim of the toilet, finally succumbing to the horror film that´s playing in his mind.

----------

Steve has been having an unexpectedly good time. The restriction on hard alcohol that even Tony had agreed to because of Peter´s age means that the conversations are actually making sense even a few hours into the party. Peter´s constant happy chatter keeps everyone engaged, and whoever prepared the food has absolutely outdone themselves.

He doesn´t really catch the reason for everyone getting worked up about which of the sheer infinite list of silly alien-battle movies to play, nor the fun they seem to draw from watching things being blown up in outer space. But he goes along with the general mood and relaxes as good as he can. They are a twenty minutes into the movie when he feels the urge to use the bathroom and excuses himself.

When he opens the door to the floor´s common restroom, he is greeted by the sound of violent retching carrying over from one of the stalls.

“Hello?” he calls out hesitantly. “Do you need help?”

The answer is silence, and then what sounds like a suppressed sob. Steve is just about to leave - there are a few people at the party whom he doesn´t know closely, after all, and he doesn´t want to disturb - when the door of the stall opens. The man who staggers out, pale, trembling and wiping sick from his mouth, is the last he´d expected to see in such a state.

"Tony, what...?" is all he can say.

"I´m okay, Cap, just..." he trails off breathlessly and stumbles, apparently caught in a dizzy spell.

"Whoa, whoa, easy." Steve motions to hold the other man up when he sways on his feet.

"I´m okay, I´m okay, " Tony seems to say more to himself than to Steve, batting his hands away and leaning heavily against the basin.

“What happened, Tony? Did you drink?” Steve asks, trying not to sound disappointed.

“Always assuming the worst, Rogers, aren´t we?” he coughs. It´s meant to come out lightly, but Steve can hear the bitterness swinging along. “No, even I wouldn´t pull that one on the kid´s birthday.”

“Sorry...” Steve says. “But in my defense, your records aren´t exactly the best.”

“Just leave me alone, Cap.” Tony rebuts, sounding tired.

Steve examines his teammate´s appearance, and he is taken aback by how worn down Tony looks, almost old. He seems to be having trouble taking even breaths, and there´s an expression on his face that Steve would call afraid if he didn´t know better. Tony Stark might be a showman more times than not, but from all Steve knows, he is certainly not someone to be scared of things. Rather, what causes trouble is usually his lack of fear and respect in situations where such feelings would be appropriate.

But still, Tony looks...haunted. It reminds Steve of Bucky on his worst days. And then it dawns on him.

“Tony, I don´t want to interfere- ”

“Then don´t.”

“Did you have an anxiety attack? PTSD, flashbacks, something like that?”

Tony gives him an exasperated look. “Rogers, I´m serious, just do what you came here to do and then get lost.” He swallows hard, apparently fighting the nausea. “Okay, that came out rude, but what I´m trying to say is that it´s not the first time this happens. I can deal with it. Alone.”

For a moment Steve imagines Tony in the tower all by himself, shivering his way through panic attacks, and something pulls in his chest. He has heard of the break-up with Pepper, and he also knew about the PTSD, but he´d never had any idea that it gets this bad with Tony.

Still, the man is right, it´s better to leave if he is not wanted, and hovering will most likely only make things worse for Tony.

“Okay.”, he finally says. “But I´m here if you need...someone to talk, you know. Not only me, the whole team is there for you.”

There´s no conviction in his eyes when Tony fakes a smile. “Sure, capsicle. I know.”

----------

The party continues till late into the night. Cleaning up, which Steve commits to despite Tony´s insistence that he´s got robots to take care of it, takes even longer. By the time he is finished, most of the guests have either left or gone to sleep, so Steve decides to stay over as well. But once he is lying in his giant guest room´s ultrasoft twin bed, covered in smooth sheets of silk, he is entirely too comfortable to be comfortable.

When sleep doesn´t come, he starts walking the halls, searching for someone else who is still up. Most of the Avengers have trouble sleeping for one reason or another, and it wouldn´t be the first night he has run into Bruce killing time in front of the TV, Clint hitting the gym at 2 in the morning, or Nat just sitting in the darkness, silent, unmoving, practicing invisibility. 

He isn´t disappointed, but the sounds he hears when he enters the common area are not what he´d hoped for. Ragged breaths and curses carry over from the direction of the bar. Steve nearly steps into a heap of large ceramic shards lying on the ground, spotted with dots of blood. They appear to be remains of a mug that has the Iron Man mask plastered on it. Steve recalls seeing Tony gulping coffee from it several times, and he briefly wonders whether it was a gift from Pepper, but then discards the thought, bending to pick up the sherds.

“I was gonna trash it. But it just...broke”, a toneless voice mutters from behind the counter.

Tony is slumped on the ground, the bar barely holding him upright. He looks so much worse than earlier that Steve wonders for a moment whether he wound up in some sort of time-travel experiment and skipped a few days. His teammate is deathly pale, only his cheeks flushed red, the breathing shallow, sweaty curls plastered against his forehead. His suit jacket and tie are gone, the half-opened shirt is soiled by flecks of vomit and blood from where he must have cut himself on the shards. One of his hands is clutching his chest where the arc reactor used to be, the other crushing a bottle of something high-proof.

"God, Tony...” Steve exhales. The man is a mess. “It´s fine, I can fix the mug.” He knows it´s stupid the moment he says it.

“Doesn´ matter.” Tony slurs, his eyes glistening wet. “I don´t wannit. Won´t make anythin´ right.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve soothes. “Is there - is there anything I can do?”

Tony just shakes his head before lowering it onto his knees. “I don´ need your pity, Rogers.” He takes another swig from the bottle. Steve doesn´t know how to comfort him, but he doesn´t want to leave, either. They sit in silence for a while.

"´s all my fault", Tony mumbles suddenly, less coherent than mere minutes ago. His breathing hitches up. He tries to pull himself up at the counter, failing and losing his balance. Steve is there without thinking, supporting him, but it turns out to be a bad idea. Tony swings a fist at him, his eyes large and glazed over, his whole frame trembling. “Don´t- “ he croaks, “Don´t touch me-”.

“Alright, alright”, Steve mumbles, easing him back to the ground and then taking a step back, not failing to notice the heat radiating from the other man´s body.

“I don´t  wanna - I can´t - no- “ Tony pants, gesticulating into empty space. Steve has no idea where he thinks he is, but he´s sure it´s not here.

“It´s me, Tony,” he says as calm as can manage, “We´re at the tower, remember? Breathe, just breathe, okay?”

“Fuck”, Tony exhales. “It´s just... all going to shit.”

“It´s okay, Tony. You´re running a fever, it´s messing with your senses. Whatever you think you are seeing, it´s not real.” Steve slowly moves into his direction, empty palms raised in front of him. “Let´s get you to bed and- ”

“The fever´s not the problem, Rogers!” Tony yells in a hoarse voice, and Steve is shaken by how desperate he sounds. “You don´t understand, you, you don´t know what´s going on in my head  - what´s happening  - you can´t get -” he breaks off, gasping for breath. The look on his face is pure terror. “It´s not getting any better. I´m - I´m losing this one, Steve. Everyone.”

And that´s when he understands that Tony has been broken for a long, long time. Steve has been to war, he has had his fair share of trauma to deal with in the aftermath - but it was never like this. He has come to terms with his conscience. Whereas Tony... Steve used to think that tech and sarcasm are all there is to the man, that all his reckless, death-provoking actions are simply evidence of how he fails to take anything about life serious. But now it dawns on him that this was just Tony´s way of keeping himself from falling apart. Steve wonders how a person can talk so much about himself and yet reveal so little.

He doesn´t know what to say. And it doesn´t matter, because he is not the one needed here.

“Does Pepper know?” he finally asks.

Tony is sunken together, looking like a shadow of himself, but his eyes focus on Steve, and his ashen face seems a little more lucid.

“Not...not all of it.”

He attempts to collect himself and fails. When he looks at Steve, his mask has nearly fallen, and he is an inch from pleading.

“Cap, please, just don´t try to help in that.” He takes a shallow breath, then another, and swallows frantically. “This is my mess, my fault, and trust me, you don´t wanna be pulled into it. I´m - I´m gonna get it under control, somehow.”

He reaches for the bottle, misses it. He doesn´t try again, and that´s how Steve knows his words were empty. Because Iron Man wouldn´t give up, ever.

He takes a decision.

“Just let me get you to bed, at least.” It´s not a question. Steve pulls the other man up and frowns when he realizes that Tony has lost weight, a lot of it. The shirt dangles lose around his body.

They stop at a trash can halfway through the corridor for Tony to heave up bile and what smells like pure alcohol. He´s barely conscious anymore when Steve positions him into bed and drags a blanket over his trembling form. Once Tony has fallen into a fitful, feverish sleep, the lines of exhaustion and pain never leaving his face, Steve sets water and aspirin on the bedside table and quietly leaves the room.

He pulls out his phone. Tony is going to hate him for that, maybe forever. But if there is something Steve Rogers has become good at doing, it´s taking hard choices. Most of them were of the kind that would haunt him for the rest of his life, but if he had do, he´d take them all over again.

The phone rings two, three times. It´s late, the night already melting into morning, but he knows that she will pick up eventually, as clear as he knows that she will help.

Pepper doesn´t sound sleepy when she answers the call.

“It´s Steve”, he states, preparing himself to speak the words Tony could never say. “We need to talk.”

part 2

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

Teach, America... Part 9

Thankfully Steve didn’t have to rush off to save the world the next day. In fact for the first two weeks it was like he wasn’t even Captain America. I spent almost every day with him until I had work or school, only going home for clean clothes and revision books. I’d also agreed to start running with him or working out if I didn’t have school or work. The first few days were great but then I discovered if I took my top off I could get a work out right at home. Tell me you wouldn’t.

Then it was back to normal.

Tonight was our four month anniversary. I know it’s silly but Steve insisted on celebrating all of them because he’s never had any. He had booked us a table at a lovely little restaurant downtown, nothing too fancy but still enough to get dressed up so I had opted for a simple little black dress and heels.

“You look beautiful, doll.” Steve grinned as I walked out of my bedroom to him.

I blushed looking down to what I was wearing with a small smile. “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself, Rogers.” I teased him.

“Even with the cut?” he raised his eyebrow.

I nodded. “Even with the cut.” I pressed my lips to his firmly, avoiding his where his cut was the best I could. “Makes you look like a bad boy.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him jokingly.

“Really?” he chuckled.

“Oh, yeah.” I nodded biting my lip.

Steve moaned a little as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Doll, what have I told you about that?” I tried to look innocent as I continued to bite my lip. “Doll-”

“We better be going, Cap.” I smirked before I sauntered off to grab my coat and bag.

“Or, we could-” I shook my head with a giggled as I caught the mischievous glint in his eye. “Okay-” he held his hands up smirking. “Let’s go.” he chuckled, following me out.

After a short cab ride we were being seated at our table. Thankfully it wasn’t a busy restaurant so we were able to have some privacy. Captain America does sometimes draw attention when out with his girlfriend. Steve pulled my chair out for me and as I sat down he placed a soft kiss on my cheek causing me to blush. A few moments later after Steve had taken his seat a waiter came over serving champagne that we hadn’t asked for.

I raised my eyebrow as I watched Steve very happily pick his glass up. “Steve?” I frowned a little at him. “Did you ask for this?” He looked up briefly before dropping his gaze, looking anywhere but me. His face reddened as he nodded. I sighed shaking my head a little. “Thank you, but you don’t hav-”

“I do.” Steve cut me off. “You deserve spoiling, Y/N… you deserve treating like you’re the most important girl in the world.” he gave me a small smile, his face still a little flushed.

“So, give me your time, Steve. I don’t care about expensive ass restaurants.” I smiled as I placed my hand on top of his.

He nodded lowering his gaze. “Okay… I’m still going to buy you flowers though.” he muttered.

“Fine by me.” I smiled, giggling at his child like behaviour.

The waiter returned and took out order before once again disappearing. I enjoyed moments like this with Steve. Just us, talking, laughing, getting to know each other even more.

“Did you have anything like this back in your day?” I asked as I popped an olive into my mouth from the dish on the table.

Steve shook his head pulling a face of disgust. He tried, he hated. “Olives? No, I’ve already said how glad I am we didn’t.” he joked.

I giggled shaking my head. “No, silly.” I smiled. “I mean, fancy restaurants and things?”

“Ah…” he smiled softly. “Not really. There was a little Italian or two but, simple stuff, not like this. Whenever Bucky took a broad- I mean a girl, a woman, out… he usually went to see a movie then the diner or ice-cream parlour.” Steve smiled fondly as he spoke about the thought. It wasn’t often Steve spoke of Bucky but he had enough for me to understand how much he missed his friend dearly. “Hmm-” he coughed clearing his throat. “Did, you?”

I shrugged. “I guess. I mean, not as big and as fancy but yeah.” I nodded. “I didn’t go on many dates growing up and what I did with the very few boyfriends, it was either something like a film and a snog in hopes of- well, ya know.” I sighed.

“And your ex?” Steve stiffened as he asked.

“I think we went on, three dates before he stopped putting the effort in.” I laughed. I was a fool.

“All the more reason for me to spoil you.” Steve grinned.

“No, it���s not.” I laughed. “You do enough as it is, Steve. I’ve told you, I much… rather… have-” I stopped talking at the sound of Steve’s phone ringing.

Steve sighed shaking his head. “M’sorry, doll-” he pulled his phone out from his pocket. “Hello.. Yes, sir… now? Yes, sir… alright… goodbye.” he hung up, sighing again.

“You have to go.” I stated.

Steve nodded slowly with a frown. “M’sorry, doll.” Steve stood up pulling his wallet out of his pocket and throwing down a few bills. “I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart, I promise.” he leaned down and gently placed his lips on mine. “I love you.” he whispered as he pulled back a little before pecking my lips again.

I nodded with a soft smile. “I love you, too. Be safe.” Steve nodded before quickly taking off. I sighed dropping head.

Even though Steve was leaving to probably go save the world again, a little part of me (the selfish part) wished I could have Steve all to myself and him not be Captain America. But that’s who he was and the reason we were together. If it wasn’t for Steve being Captain America and saving my life that day, I wouldn’t be as happy and as in love as what I am today.

“Okay, class! The bell is about to ring for home time, any, minute. Have you all put your stuff away?” I stood in the middle of the classroom with my hands in the air.

“YES, MISS Y/L/N!” they answered me in unison.

I smiled as I looked round the room and saw the many small faces covered in different colours of paint. The parents were going to love me. “Okay. Everyone make sure you have cleaned your hands before you collect your bags and coats.”

Right on time the bell rang and once I had dismissed them, the children went racing out of the classroom. I let out a sigh of relief as I began to collect a few paint pots from the sides and put them away properly. Seven years old’s were hard work sometimes. There’d been tantrums, fall outs, laughter and a million and one questions about everything.

“Knock, knock.” I looked up from the scraps of paper in my hand and began smiling when I saw Steve stood there at the door, holding a bunch of flowers.

“Hey, doll.” he waved his free hand a little as he stepped in.

“H-Hey, Steve.” I placed what I had in my hand down as I walked over to him. “What are you doing here?” you asked before you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your lips to his.

It had barely been seventeen hours since Steve left for his mission. You weren’t expecting to see him for at least twenty-four hours or so.

“Managed to complete the mission sooner than expected.” he smiled at you. “Oh-” he cleared his throat as he handed you the flowers.

“These are you for you, doll. My, way of apologising for upping and leaving you last night.” he pressed another kiss to your lips, making you smile.

“Well, thank you but, you gave me some flowers yesterday… for our anniversary.” I chuckled as I turned round and walked over to where teh art supplies were kept.

Steve nodded running his hand over the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, these aren’t for that. They’re, a sorry.” he smiled softly.

I smiled as I grabbed an empty jar and put some water into it before the flowers. “I knew what was going to happen when I said yes to being your girlfriend.” and you did.

“That still doesn’t make it any better, Y/N. I hate leaving you like that.” he frowned walking up behind you, his hands slipping around your waist. “You’re my special gal and I love you.” he whispered, his lips brushing over your neck.

I bit back a moan. “And I love you too but you don’t have to apologize for doing your job, Steve.”

He hummed as he brushed his lips over my neck a little harder this time. “Still…” he kissed your neck then your shoulder. “I want to make it up to you.” he smirked against your neck, his arms pulling you tighter against his body.

“Really? And what did Captain America have in mind?” you giggled, pushing your ass out into his crotch.

“Well-”

The sound of whispering and children giggling out in the hallway cut Steve off. When the pair of us turned round there was a group of kids from my class stood peeking around the door at us. Both Steve and I began blushing and moved away from one another, not wanting to traumatise them.

“And what are you lot looking at?” I asked as I walked over to my desk with the flowers.

They all looked at each other before one of the boys was nudged forwards into the room. “Hmm, we, wanted to say… hello, to Mr, Capten Am’ica.”

I bit my lip trying not to laugh as I turned to look at Steve who was stood in the middle of the room surrounded by pieces of art hanging from the ceiling, looking a little out of place. “Can they say hello to you Mr, Captain America?” you asked with a giggle.

Steve chuckled as he walked closer to you so he was in front of the children. “Of course they can.” he smiled at them before nearly down and holding his hand out to the young boy that had spoken. “It’s nice to meet you, son.”

Taglist: @panicatttckiss @mixedmelanin @patzammit

[retrocelly]

57 & 32 with Cap please?

Steve Rogers - Easy Goodbyes Only Exist in Movies

A/N: My first ever request!! yay!!

Prompts:

32: “I came to say goodbye,” 

57: “Is that my shirt?”

Warnings: tons of angst with an equally angsty ending.

~~~

Your breakup with Steve hadn’t been an easy one. After a particularly dangerous mission, the small terrorist organization that Steve was sent in to take out had threatened you. Not SHIELD, not the Avengers, but you; Steve’s non-enhanced, untrained, waitress girlfriend. The threat had spooked you so much that you thought it’d be best to take a break from Steve. He, of course, argued that you would be safer with him than you would be alone, but you were having none of it. As much as you’d hated to admit it, being close to Captain America put a target on your back, and you had your own life and family to think about; after all, it’s not like Steve could protect all of them at any given moment. Within a week of your breakup, Steve had volunteered to go on a month long surveillance op. He’d said that it would give you space until you “came to your senses,” which had only infuriated you further. In his absence, you’d cleared all of your belongings from your shared apartment and found a new (albeit much smaller) place to live. Once Steve had returned from his mission and found every trace of you missing from his life, it had finally hit him that the relationship was actually over; nearly three years down the drain all because of some asshole terrorist operatives. For the following four months, Steve had been training harder than ever, working more missions, and doing everything his power to keep his mind off of you. But, there were some things that he just couldn’t avoid. Natasha, for example, who’d insisted on eating at the diner where you worked. She’d claimed that it was simply because she liked the sandwiches, but Steve knew well enough that Nat was inclined to play match-maker, and even his exes weren’t exempt from her game. Reluctantly, and all the while praying that you had gotten the evening off, Steve had agreed to go with Natasha. The pair sat in a corner booth, with Steve pitifully ducking behind his ball-cap every time he’d caught a glimpse of a server. Finally, you arrived at the table. Nat was staring at you with a smirk and across from her, Steve was debating whether or not to get up and leave. “Hello Natasha,” you greeted, happy to see her after months of avoiding all mutual friends that you’d shared with Steve, “it’s good to see you.” “You too, Y/N,” she smiled, “my friend here really misses you, he’s just to shy to say anything.” Nat gestured to Steve as she spoke, earning a light giggle from you. Apparently, though, Steve didn’t find the situation funny as he was out of the booth and shoving passed you within seconds. Natasha gave you a quiet apology before she followed Steve out of the restaurant. The remainder of your night was uneventful, and you headed back to your apartment around 11p.m. Outside of your building, you were met with an all-too-familiar motorcycle. Sighing at the thought of never actually being out of Steve’s reach, you headed up the stairs. Leaning against the wall beside your door, Steve was waiting for you. He’d heard your tired feet trudging up the staircase and was practically shaking at the thought of actually holding a conversation with you again. He’d missed everything about you, from your infectious laugh to the way you’d care for him after he came home from missions all battered and bruised. It was harder for him to sleep through his nightmares knowing that you were out in the world, alone and unguarded, but it was what you’d wanted, so he sucked it up and went along with it. Steve stood straighter as you approached him. You gave him a tired smile and opened your door. You said nothing, but Steve knew you well enough to know that he was meant follow you inside. You flicked on the lights in the small space and gently set your purse on the table by the entryway. As he looked around, Steve took note of everything; the lack of pictures on the walls, the tightness of the furniture within the cramped space, and the coffee stain on the table beside the couch. He searched for the familiar pieces of you that he’d expected to find, but was greeted only with a cold emptiness that broke his heart further than he’d thought possible. “You can sit on the couch if you’d like,” your voice knocked him from his thoughts, “I’m gonna change out of this uniform.” Steve nodded as you walked down the short hallway and disappeared behind your bedroom door. When you made your way into his view again, his feigning heart lurched. You had on the same slippers that you always wore when it was cold and the pajama pants that he knew all too well. But neither of those were what sent him into a buzz. Adorning your figure was a t-shirt that Steve thought he’d lost. Bucky had given it to him years ago as a joke (the shirt reading “Cap: the punk avenger” in big letters), but as soon as your relationship with Steve got serious, you’d taken it for yourself. He smiled at the sight of it, but you seemed completely unaware of his state as you sat next to him on the couch. “Is that my shirt?” Steve asked, a wide grin across his face. “Oh,” you blushed, realizing the situation you’d put yourself in, “yeah sorry, did you want it back?” Steve shook his head, a cocky smile still gracing his features. “No,” he chuckled, “looks better on you anyway.” Your cheeks tinged further as you averted your gaze from his. A moment of silence followed, both of you running through an appropriate way to start the uncomfortable conversation that was about to occur. “Look,” Steve started warily, “I’m not here to restart things, because - even though I don’t agree with them - I know that you have your reasons for not wanting to be with me, and I respect that.” You met his eyes and he faltered for a moment, but you nodded for him to continue, “I just- I guess I came to say goodbye. When I left, I was arrogant enough to think that I would come back and everything would be normal again, and I just never got any closure. I never got to tell you how much I loved you, and still do. I never got to tell you how sorry I am for ever putting you in danger, and for never being the boyfriend that you deserved. And god, you deserve everything good in this world. I just hope that you can find someone who gives you all of the happiness that they can.” Both of your eyes were welling with tears when Steve finished, a heavy breath filling his lungs. Emotions overwhelmed you as you realized that you hadn’t allowed yourself closure either. “Oh, Steve,” you’d rasped, voice cracking as the lump in your throat grew, “you gave me more then I could ever ask for - you were perfect, but we just weren’t in the same place in our lives. You were off saving the world and I was ready to settle down. That’s not either of our faults, please don’t blame yourself. Sometimes the universe just has other plans, but you were perfect.” You placed a hand gently on his cheek and wiped away his falling tears. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, allowing the situation to fully sink in. This was it, no second tries, no do overs. Steve would walk out of your apartment and out of your life, and one day, you wouldn’t force yourself to turn away when he came on TV, or flinch at the mention of Captain America. One day, you would be healed enough to attend Tony’s parties again, and your heart wouldn’t even skip at the sight of Steve’s arm around someone else. One day, but not today, you knew. And somehow you knew it was the same for him, because easy goodbyes only exist in movies.

[abovethesmokestacks]

Goodbye

Title: Goodbye Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader Word count: 1.9k Spoilers: None Warnings: angst, lots of it

I blame this entirely on Katy Perry, because “The One That Got Away” played last night and refused to leave me, so surprise children, it’s feels murder time.

This fic can also be found on AO3. It is not to be reposted anywhere else without my express permission.

Tags at the end.

One year. As the words trip across his plush lips, that’s all you can think about. One year. One year of dance hall dates, of being the girl on Bucky Barnes’s arm, of sweet kisses and a warm hand holding your own. There’s a small part inside of you that refuses to listen to what he’s saying, refuses to acknowledge the bravery of his decision, that screams loud and desperate because he will leave you. He’s ripping himself away from this life, throwing himself into a dangerous game few seem to be surviving.

“Sweetheart? Sweetheart, please, say somethin’.”

Bucky’s cap is tipped just so, jaunty and paints such a handsome picture along with his pressed uniform, but god, his eyes betray him. How many times have the pressing silences between you erupted into arguments just because he couldn’t keep the annoyance out of them? You’d like to think you are an open book, but Bucky Barnes tries so hard to keep part of himself locked away, only to be betrayed by the keyhole into the very room he’s hiding in. You can’t even fault him, you wish you could do the same sometimes.

“W-when?” you finally stutter, unable to face his worry right now, too afraid that the pacing monster inside you will break free if you do.

You know it won’t be good by the slightly pause before he speaks again. It never is, and you steel yourself for the deadly blow.

“I… I leave for England tomorrow.”

One year, and it’ll all be gone tomorrow. You are an open book, and he reads you with a pained expression on his face.

“I didn’t- I got my orders today. Please, doll, it’s not that bad. I won’t- They’re not sendin’ us into battle straight away. You gotta understand, I don’t have a choice.”

“You don’t?” It comes out sharper than you intend, slipping out before you can lock yourself down again. He’s leaving tomorrow, and you won’t allow your parting to be tainted by anger.

“I got drafted,” he confesses, jaw clenching before cupping your cheeks and bringing you in close. “Please, don’t tell Stevie. I told him I volunteered, it’s… I thought it would be easier.”

“Nothing about this is easy, Bucky.” You look over your shoulders, spotting the mop of blond hair a little ways away, where Steve is buying snacks from a vendor. “You should tell him.”

Bucky shakes his head, “I can’t. He’s… Well, you know how he is. Please, darlin’, I just want my last night to be somethin’ I can remember when I’m fighting.”

It is soft and pleading, the request matching the sadness in his eyes. It appeases the mounting hurricane inside, dissipates the raging emotions somewhat, calms the howling into a starved whine that longs to take and give in equal measures. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you let yourself melt into him. His warmth will soon be gone, and he will need yours where he is going.

Minutes and hours mercilessly tick by, caring none for the desperation you show in giving and taking until your breaths turn ragged and you think a part of you has been burned into Bucky’s heart forever. The silence of the cramped apartment he shares with Steve has saved every litany of praise, every prayer for more, every vow of safe return and every dream of the future. 

“I’ll come home, sweetheart. I’ll come home, and I’ll put the prettiest ring on your finger, and I’ll never leave you again. No, baby, don’t- I swear, God himself can’t make me break this promise. It’ll be us against the world.”

You wake up alone, Bucky’s sheets cold, and you allow yourself to break. His scent still lingers in the pillow case, his touch a ghost trailing over your skin. The room feels too empty, desolate without him in it. His things are still there, but now they seem to belong to someone else, a stranger that never held your heart. Outside, the subdued clattering of dishes signals that Steve has found his way home too, and if it wasn’t for the monster moaning its swan song, you’d feel a little ashamed, because how could Steve not figure out why you’d be in Bucky’s room. He knocks five minutes later and offers breakfast, and you stay quiet until you hear him shuffling away, not leaving until much later when Steve has already left.

For a while it hurts, your friends fawning over you and trying to paint you as the devoted girlfriend who waits while her best guy is somewhere across the ocean fighting for freedom. There is nothing glorious about it. Bile rises in your throat when you go to a movie and it’s prefaced by a short snippet about the war effort, the brave Captain America smiling for the camera. There is nothing glorious about waiting for a sign of life, or a proof of death.

There are signs of life. Bucky sends letters, his hurried scrawl making your heart leap, every declaration of life and love signed with “Us against the world”. There are signs of life, and you cling to them, repeating promises made and vows uttered until you think you can see them on the horizon.

And then the next letter.

“I regret to report that Sergeant James B Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regiment went missing behind enemy lines…”

Something rips from you, the festering worry finally rupturing and you finally allow the scream that has been bottled up for nearly a year to claw its way out of your chest. There is nothing glorious about it, nothing like the starlets of the silver screen would have you believe. It is ugly and visceral and it hurts when you shatter, when every hope and dream of seeing Bucky again is torn from you. 

I swear, God himself can’t make me break this promise.

God, you decide, cares nothing for war. He reaps no profit, doesn’t grant mercy. God, you realize, did not make Bucky break his promise. The devil takes his due.

“A symbol to the nation, a hero to the world…”

You clutch your cane harder, drawing in a shallow breath before stepping onto the escalators. Up until recently, it’s been years, maybe even decades since you let yourself think about him, about them. Everywhere, Steve’s face looks down at you, stoic with his mouth set in a determined line. It’s not him you’re here for, not really.

History has been kind to him, and by association, to Bucky. They found each other in the chaos, fought together and died within a year of each other. Bucky has his place in the exhibit, as he should. You don’t know how they found you, but a year before, a representative from the Smithsonian reached out, saying they had found out you had been Barnes’s girlfriend before the war, and were you perhaps willing to contribute to the part of the exhibition dedicated to Sergeant Barnes?

Time has made you a liar.

It was easy to give a small laugh, to confirm that yes, indeed, you were Sergeant Barnes’s gal before the war, but it was only a year. You barely heard from him after he shipped out. So much time has gone by, you doubt you’d have anything to contribute, whether physical mementos or exciting stories. It was only a year after all, you understand, don’t you.

Your heart clenches when you make your way to the front of the group of people admiring the uniforms. You never got photos of him like this, as a member of the Howling Commandos. His army uniform had been handsome as any, but god, you would have given anything to see him in this, the blue playing off his eyes and the soft brown of his hair. 

“Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country…”

You can’t help the tear that trails down your cheek, the flickering newsreel of Bucky and Steve smiling together too much for you. You shouldn’t have come. You’re almost 90, this is no place for you. Maybe you should have just told them the truth when they called: that every letter Bucky ever sent rests in a box at the back of a closet, that they have been in that box since 1944, that you’ve carefully packed it up and ignored the sting in your heart with every move.

Sniffling, you turn to leave, walking past the glass wall dedicated to Bucky when something pulls your gaze up. Later you will say it was all your imagination, the result of confronting the memories you’ve tried to keep hidden all these decades. But right now, there’s a set of footsteps that calls to something in you, that makes the hairs on your neck stand on end and your heart trill in anticipation. You find a pair of eyes in the crowd, dark under the black peak of a baseball cap, but you know that should he remove it and step into the light, they would be as blue as you remember them. For a second there seems to be a flash of recognition in them, lips parting as if to speak your name.

And then the man passes, and you feel like your breath has been knocked out of you. The air seems stuffier than before, and you hurry to get outside, sitting down on a bench to draw in deep breaths. It’s all a trick, a combination of wishful thinking, low light and seventy years of heartbreak taking you by surprise.

He’s not actually there.

Heavy footsteps search the rows, a bundle of flowers gripped tightly in one hand. Part of him knows what he will find, another one fearful of what he’ll feel. He wanted to find you as soon as he remembered, as soon as he made sense of why his heart sped up at the memory of an older lady locking eyes with him at the museum, but time and haunting ghosts kept him from you.

Finally finding what he’s looking for, he swallows thickly, kneeling on the dewy grass, letting one gloved hand run over the smooth marble.

“Hello, sweetheart. I promised I’d be back, didn’t I?” His voice cracks, eyes blurring as he takes in the condensed story of your life, imagining everything that must fit into the dash between the two dates. “I’m sorry I took so long, that I couldn’t come back sooner. I made you a promise, darlin’, and now I’m too late. I just want you to know I saw you. I saw you and you looked just as pretty as the morning I left. God, I wish I could have come back, that we could have had that life I talked about.”

He clears away the leaves that have fallen, gingerly placing the flowers, rearranging them to his liking. “I kissed you goodbye that morning. Had to tear myself away, but I couldn’t leave without a final kiss. And I don’t know if you remember it, but you kissed me back. It was all I could think about on the way over, the one thing that kept me sane in the trenches, the thought that even in your sleep, you could recognize me, and how I wanted every morning to be like that.”

Wetting his lips, he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the cold marble, eyes squeezed shut and remembering a tender moment that not even the most brutal torture could pry from him.

“Goodbye, sweetheart.”

@loup-malin, @ursulaismymiddlename, @bakexprayxlove, @brookebarnes, @callamint, @mrshopkirk, @hellomissmabel, @tatortot2701, @ceebeetumbles, @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel, @lenia1d, @andhiseyesweregreen, @basicallyericharris, @thatgirlsar, @bubblebathsandsarcasm, @amrita31199, @netflixa, @erisjade, @rockintensse, @marvelrevival, @riskybarnes, @writemarvelousthings, @gallifreyansass, @allyallyally-oh, @shy2shot, @angryschnauzer, @engineeringgirlcve, @hellstempermentalangel, @whyisbuckyso, @melconnor2007, @snuggleducky

@avengerofyourheart, @booksandshowsandmovies-ohmy, @themcuhasruinedme, @creideamhgradochas, @feepsmoothie, @nuvoleincielo, @wellfuckbuck, @rotisserierogers, @sarahsassafras13, @romanosgirl1978, @rrwilson66

@sebbytrash, @viollettes, @rosyskies, @cyanide-candyx, @idensversios, @4theluvofall, @just-another-fangirl777, @avengingnights, @softwhispers, @therealgingermermaid, @c-maximoffs, @ipaintmelodies, @reniescarlett, @mizzzpink, @winter-in-wakanda, @lenavonschweetz, @stephanie11220

@themistsofmyavalon, @rebelslicious, @superwholocklover21, @poe-also-bucky, @emilyinbuffalo, @jeanneir, @blazey24, @redgillan

[junker-town]

Every Marvel Cinematic Universe villain, ranked from forgettable to iconic

Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images for ReedPOP

From Malekith to Loki, we covered them all.

All week, we’re having a little fun and diving into the world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). The MCU exists thanks to endless battles between our heroes and the villains that torment them. Some of the villains — hello, Vulture — are fantastic. They’re well-rounded, they have depth, and there seems to be a method to their madness.

Then there are the other villains. Their backgrounds aren’t particularly explained, you’re not entirely sure what they’re doing — looking intently at you, Malekith — and motivations seem weak at best.

As part of our Marvel Week, we took the 26 primary villains from the 23 MCU films and ranked them from 1-to-26. Warning: THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW, so act accordingly. Let’s get to it.

26. Ivan Vanko (Iron Man 2)

Be honest. The only thing you really remember about Ivan Vanko is when he said “I want my bird.”

25. Aldrich Killian/Maya Hansen (Iron Man 3)

This movie had far too many plots, and therefore far too many villains. There’s one point in the movie where it’s revealed that the Vice President is in on Killian’s plans, and then it’s not mentioned again. Surprise! Maya Hansen is actually bad. Surprise! The Mandarin is an actor! Surprise! The VP is in on it! I need this movie and its collection of villains to do a little less.

24. Zemo (Captain America: Civil War)

Zemo’s motivations are clear — he is driven by his rage and sadness over losing his family in Sokovia — but he’s little more than an accelerant to get the real conflict of the movie going between Tony Stark and Steve Rogers.

23. Emil Blonsky/Abominable (The Incredible Hulk)

The only really nice thing that you can say about The Incredible Hulk is that the fight scene between Abominable and Hulk is pretty cool. Tim Roth is high key the best part of this movie.

22. Kaecilius (Doctor Strange)

Dormammu didn’t have enough screen time for him to be ranked here, but we do get Mads Mikkelsen’s Kaecilius. The fight scenes are awesome, but I spent a lot of time wondering if he was going to start weeping blood.

21. Malekith (Thor: The Dark World)

Malekith? More like Male-kiss-my-ass, amirite? Sorry, trying to delete.

20. Johann Schmidt/Red Skull (Captain America: The First Avenger)

Red Skull is the most cartoon-like villain of the movies, but there’s still something about the first time he rips that Hugo Weaving face off. Also, being a Nazi gets you an automatic top-20 spot. This dude was evil.

19. Ava/Ghost (Ant-Man and the Wasp)

You could make the argument that “The Feds” are actually the villain in Ant-Man and The Wasp, but for our purposes we’re just going to go with Ghost. Ghost is visually a stunning villain as she phases in-and-out while simultaneously kicking serious ass. She’s not higher up on this list because she’s actually ... not a bad person and is instead trying to find a way to end her crippling pain.

18. Yon Rogg (Captain Marvel)

Wow, they really cast the MCU well. Jude Law is the perfect smarmy guy that you think is on your side til you realize that actually he’s a psycho and is trying to kill an entire group of people. Captain Marvel is more about the origin story for Carol Danvers and less about the villains, so not much to write home about with Yon Rogg.

17. Justin Hammer (Iron Man 2)

What a jerk. This guy just stinks. It doesn’t make him much more of a compelling villain, but he’s the perfect insecure guy that isn’t as smart or creative as his competitors. He brings on Ivan Vanko, gets him his bird, and basically lets a murderous mad man easily take over his whole fleet of replica Iron Man robots. His ambition coupled with the “I will literally do whatever to get that government contract” vibes moves him up this list a little.

16. Ultron (Avengers: Age of Ultron)

I might be alone in this, but I found Ultron far too boring to be a super compelling villain. He goes from zero to murderous in a matter of seemingly seconds, and he is really only saved by James Spader delivering a stellar performance with voice work. The movie actually gets better upon rewatch (especially after watching Infinity War and Endgame), but Ultron just doesn’t do it for me villain-wise. His motives felt rushed and under-explained, and there are far too many monologues.

15. Lieutenant General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross (The Incredible Hulk)

Don’t be fooled. Lieutenant General “Thunderbolt” Ross is 100% the villain in The Incredible Hulk. On the annoying-but-not-that-bad end of the spectrum, he’s an overbearing dad trying to interfere with his adult daughter’s dating life. On the other end, he directs soldiers to open fire TWICE in areas infested with civilians. First, they have an open-field battle ON THE CAMPUS OF A COLLEGE. In the third act, when trying to track down Abomination (a creature he helped create, mind you), Ross has a helicopter — with his daughter on board — shoot at what appears to be an apartment building in Harlem. This man would not only NOT be the Secretary of State later (he makes a reappearance in Captain America: Civil War among other films), he would be in prison for war crimes.

And this dude tries to arrest the Captain America side for not signing the Sokovia Accords. This guy sucks.

14. Mandarin (Iron Man 3)

They really could have done so much more with The Mandarin, especially considering they got Sir Ben Kingsley to play the role. Kingsley is really the only thing that saves this performance, going from a cruel, murderous terrorist to gassy, beer swilling fool in a moment.

13. Supreme Intelligence (Captain Marvel)

ANNETTE BENING IN A BOMBER JACKET!!! Bening plays both Dr. Wendy Lawson and the artificial intelligence being that rules the Kree, but it’s her turn as the latter that gives us some pretty intense evil. Let Annette Bening play more sinister characters, imo.

12. Ronan (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Maybe it’s because I remember Lee Pace as Ned from the quaint 2007 TV drama Pushing Daisies, but I loved this performance of Ronan. He’s shadowy enough that you still get that air of mystery about him, but he’s also just straight-up a mad man.

11. Darren Cross/Yellow Jacket (Ant-Man)

This guy literally goes into the bathroom at work, melts Frank into a small glob of former human, then WIPES HIM UP WITH A TISSUE AND FLUSHES IT DOWN THE TOILET. The biggest of yikes.

10. Obadiah Stane (Iron Man)

Obadiah Stane wanted to run Stark Industries so badly he helped orchestrate a kidnapping of Tony. Some good came from that — namely the creation of Iron Man and all the tech that went with it — but Stane also did some super dastardly stuff. The betrayal of a guy that looked up to you after his father’s death is one thing, but all the war profiteering is just too much.

Oh, and him yelling at and firing William Riva (AKA Ralphie from A Christmas Story) for not being able replicate Stark’s arc reactor leads to Riva joining forces with Quentin Beck in Spider-Man: Far From Home. It’s like a coaching tree of villains.

9. HYDRA/Alexander Pierce/Dr. Zola/Rumlow (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

Those backslashes are doing a lot of heavy lifting here, and honestly this collection (HYDRA) could have been a little bit higher as they have a lot of tentacles (pun intended) in a lot of places. Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce is one of the best castings, and the “elevator scene” is perfection that somehow gets even better in Endgame.

8. Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

IT WASN’T BUCKY’S FAULT. Cap’s best friend in the whole wide world, Bucky Barnes, was somehow rescued after plummeting from a moving train, frozen, un-frozen, and brainwashed to become a brutal assassin. While Bucky is a hero, Winter Soldier is a war machine (no, not THAT War Machine) that even murdered Tony Stark’s parents. Big yikes.

7. Ego (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

The mystery around Peter Quill’s father spanned both Guardians of the Galaxy movies before we got Kurt Russell dramatically riding around on the top of a spaceship as Ego in Vol. 2. It doesn’t take long to realize something is super fishy, and that that something is Ego spreading his seed — literally — on multiple planets in the hopes of creating a part-god child to help him take over the universe. Quill turns out to be that offspring, but he is able to break Ego’s spell when Ego TELLS PETER HE GAVE HIS MOM CANCER. That’s messed up, man.

T5. Quentin Beck/Mysterio (Spider-Man: Far From Home)

T5. Adrian Toomes/Vulture (Spider-Man: Homecoming)

I don’t know what it is, but the solo Spider-Man stories have gotten two of the best single-movie villains so far. Michael Keaton’s Toomes is perfection as the arms dealing, jet-pack wearing Vulture, but the added depth of him being the father of Peter Parker’s crush is fantastic. They manage to establish him as a guy with a somewhat relatable story (he’s just trying to make things work!), and the car scene between Keaton and Tom Holland is one of the best moments of the whole movie (and top-10 in the MCU).

Beck is low-key horrible. Anyone who tricks poor, sweet, grieving Peter Parker is on my shit list automatically, but Jake Gyllenhaal plays it so well. All Peter wants to do is tell MJ he has a crush on her, and he gets duped into fighting battles and handing over Tony Stark’s glasses. If that wasn’t enough, Beck literally shoves him in front of an oncoming train and leads to Spider-Man’s identity being leaked.

He does give us J.K. Simmons’s J. Jonah Jameson back, though. That’s a point in his favor.

4. Killmonger (Black Panther)

It was really difficult to rank these top eight or so villains. All of them have intense back stories or more character development than we got in the early movies of the series. Michael B. Jordan’s portrayal of Eric Killmonger in Black Panther was fantastic, and delivered some of the most meme-able moments of a villain (IS THIS YOUR KING?!).

While the rage and hurt felt by Killmonger over his father’s death is understandable, his actions as the movie’s antagonist are brutal.

This scene is so powerful:

3. Hela (Thor: Ragnarok)

The long-lost sister of Thor has some serious family issues. She’s absolutely ruthless, crushes Mjolnir (and therefore Thor’s spirits for a bit), and has an admittedly very cool wolf pet. Cate Blanchett knocks it out of the park with her portrayal. Hela is horrible and evil and also kind of badass, which shoots her up these rankings.

2. Loki (Thor/The Avengers)

Ah, the anti-hero. Loki is a pretty terrible dude most of the time, but he has his moments of actually doing the right thing. He’s petty, jealous, and the most untrustworthy person in the MCU. In Thor, he tries to kill his brother several times. In The Avengers, there’s the whole opening a portal in the sky to let the Chitauri in to kill a bunch of people and destroy half of New York thing. Oh, and don’t forget about when he faked his death, pretended to be Odin, and was content to hang out on Sakkar with the Grandmaster without helping Thor escape the gladiator-esque games.

1. Thanos (Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame)

We get glimpses of Thanos’s lilac tinge in a handful of the MCU movies, but he’s clearly the pièce de résistance of the culmination of Phase Three with Infinity War and Endgame. Josh Brolin plays the genocidal maniac perfectly, even leaving some viewers after Infinity War saying, “you know, Thanos might have a point about how we’re destroying the planet.” He’s willing to kill billions of people on countless planets to get a little peace and quiet, and is the reason we lose a lot of characters we really care about.

Thanos gets the benefit of a multi-movie arc to explain the full extent of his cruelty, ambition, and willingness to do anything (including kill his own daughter) to achieve his goals.

[fuckyeahwintershock]

Author Spotlight: AnnieMar

Hello again! This week our nomination comes from previous spotlightee (it’s a word, go with it) @leftylain​. She nominated @anniemar​ who’s well known for cooking up a batch of hot stuff for us to devour.

Here’s what she had to say:

01. What about Wintershock as a pairing appeals to you?  

The muse is strong with them. Many of us identify with Darcy for a whole host of reasons. I certainly do. For me, it’s because she’s snarky. She’s got a quick wit. She makes fun of people to their faces in both covert and overt ways. She’s sarcastic as hell, and I identify with that. If sarcasm flies over your head, you probably won’t like me very much in real life. Either that, or I will just confuse the hell out of you. I just can’t help it. I didn’t start writing Darcy until I’d seen Thor: The Dark World and that was the movie where I really fell in love with her, because they gave her a bit more story to work with. I’d always loved Kat Dennings, since she was in 40 Year Old Virgin and that scene where she’s screaming at her mom about wanting to have sex with her boyfriend. Not many young actresses could have pulled that off. She’s very memorable and interesting. Doesn’t look like every other actress out there, and she’s hilarious. She made Darcy totally outshine Jane, for me anyway, and that fascinated me. Here was this brilliant and gorgeous main character, Jane Foster, and all I wanted was to know more about her best friend.

And then you have Bucky. You could say that I definitely have a type. The misunderstood bad boy. Some of my dudes are more misunderstood and more bad than others, but there’s just something compelling about them, especially (and perhaps only) when they are played by brilliant actors. There’s Bucky of course, there’s Loki, Daryl from the Walking Dead, Eric from True Blood, Rollo and Ivar from Vikings, etc … and for me it goes back all the way to Han Solo. The Rogue. The guy who shoots first but underneath it all, he just needs a hug.

I don’t know what that says about me. Probably nothing good ;-)

And so you have these two characters, Darcy and Bucky, who’s differences can be explored in a meaningful way and how those differences can make them grow. There’s the potential for so much. For serious feels, for growth and discovery, for humor, for AMAZING sex. You know, the whole enchilada.

02. How did you first encounter the pairing?

It was a few years ago and I was an exclusive Tasertricks girl, but I felt like I had read every single Loki/Darcy fic out there, and some of them several times, so I was thinking that I needed some new blood. I asked my Tumblr fam if they had any good Wintershock or Shieldshock recs, and so then I spent the next few weeks mesmerized with all these new stories. I realized that I’d put myself into this hole, limited myself, by only reading Loki. It opened up so many more possibilities. I still didn’t write my own Wintershock for quite awhile, mainly because I felt guilty for cheating on my OG Marvel ship, but I got over it pretty quickly once I actually started writing Bucky Barnes. And now I feel like if you want to write more than one ship, that’s totally cool, it just opens up new and interesting challenges and makes you a better writer.

03. Do you have any specific Wintershock headcanons?

For me, Darcy gives Bucky the room he needs to deal, but on the other hand, she doesn’t let him mope around. She’s not afraid of him. She calls him out. She makes fun of him, doesn’t pity him, treats him normally, like she would anyone else, and he loves her for that. He never thought a girl like her would be in the cards for him at this point.

And then Bucky is one of the only people that can match Darcy’s wit, and so they battle. They love to battle. They also both love and enjoy the little things. I feel like Darcy is someone that’s usually up for anything, I mean, she followed Jane around in the desert and then hung out with her in London, she’s cool. She’s smart and resourceful. She can hang anywhere. Adapt anywhere. She’s definitely a cynic but she also loves experiencing the world. She has passion. And then Bucky has learned to find passion in the tiny details of life. I keep thinking about his room in Bucharest and how he loved his plums at the market. He was so excited about those damn things. And he doesn’t have much, but he’s got it all perfectly placed around him in a little haven, and you can tell he cherishes it all. And so because of those traits, they really enjoy spending time together and discovering the world through each other’s eyes. They balance each other. Bucky has a way of breaking through Darcy’s cynicism and then she has a way of inspiring Bucky to be present. They have the ability to open the world up for each other.

I also feel like Bucky’s old-fashioned sensibilities secretly make Darcy melt. He opens doors, insists on paying the bill, etc., and on the outside Darcy is all “It’s 2017, man, women’s lib happened and you must have been asleep”, but on the inside it makes her feel cherished. She probably wouldn’t admit to that though. And when he does stuff like wins her the biggest stuffed animal she’s ever seen at a carnival they happen upon, she can’t stop smiling, even though it’s a totally cheesy scenario. Bucky just does that to her. Makes her reevaluate romance, as she was pretty sure it was actually a myth before meeting him.

04. Do you associate any particular songs with Wintershock? If so, which one? 

Oh man, I have whole Spotify playlists dedicated to Wintershock. Let’s see … it’s hard to choose. More melancholy ones are “Lucky” by Radiohead and “Coney Island Baby” by Lou Reed. A more upbeat song, and one that’s inspired by Sebastian Stan’s love of 80’s music is “The Promise” by When in Rome … and then I can’t not mention “I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)” by Stevie Wonder, it’s the one I’ve been listening to while trying to finish my next Classic Combo chapter. For reasons.

There’s also music from soundtracks I listen to while writing, because sometimes people singing can distract me, but music definitely helps me focus. The soundtrack to Inception, Oblivion (M83) and then the tv show The Leftovers have this sort of beautiful continuous theme that’s very meditative and sort of repetitive and helps me focus. I will put a few songs in a loop, zone out, and then somehow I have several thousand words in a doc.

This is a really long answer to a simple question, sorry. Get me talking about music and I won’t stop.

05. What Wintershock fic by someone else would you recommend to others to read? What about this fic appeals to you?

When I first started reading Wintershock there wasn’t a huge amount of it, so I read ALL OF IT. You know how it is, in the beginning of a ship, or when people are starting to fall down the rabbit hole of love for a certain character. Like … even the fic that some might normally skip over because they involve things you’re not that into, could be a/b/o, AU, or soul-fic or high school fic or some specific kink (these are just examples), but I didn’t care. I devoured it all. And the one that really stood out for me was The Importance of Pop Culture Awareness by Bionically Ironic. She is amazing and very witty in her writing and I love her. The fic was just so different from anything else at the time. For me, it was innovative. I was laughing out loud, which is rare for me. Darcy was hilarious. Bucky was funny. He laughed. He smiled. He was already a part of the Avengers fam. He’d been deprogrammed and was in recovery, and while I seriously enjoyed reading author’s interpretations of his journey through HYDRA’s mind control and coming back to “Bucky Barnes”, it was amazing to read about him being happy again. It warmed my cold black heart, and was definitely an inspiration for how I interpreted Bucky’s character in my own fic. Her work gets the highest of recommendations from me.

06. What kind of Wintershock story would you love to read that hasn’t been written yet by you or others?  

I’d like to read some future “fix-it” fic inspired by the comics. I’d like to read about “Bucky Cap” and Darcy together, perhaps trying to figure out a way to save Steve (who could be “dead” or in a coma, or lost his serum somehow, or trapped in an alternate dimension, etc.), because in my mind, Steve Rogers will always be Captain America. And so then on their journey to discovery THEY FALL IN LURVE. There’s just so many interesting possibilities to explore. What does Bucky’s new Cap suit look like? His new arm? Does Darcy have input on the design? Is there sex happening with the new suit on? Does she cry for a million years because he cut his hair? Is Sam Wilson around? Can we have a Bucky/Sam snarkfest and Darcy just loves to watch them together while eating popcorn because they’re so damn entertaining?

Hmmm. Giving me ideas. NOT GOOD. I have too many WIPs to finish.

07. Out of the Wintershock stories you’ve written, which is your favourite, and why?  

All of my fics feel like my children in some way and it’s hard to pick a fave kid. I also don’t have a ton of Wintershock fics, or really a ton of fic, period, compared to a lot of authors. I can be a pretty slow writer at times, or write things over a million times, or just get stuck on something and let it sit for weeks at a time while my brain mellows out.

Classic Combination is dear to me because it was my first exploration of Bucky. I already had lots of time with Darcy with Tasertricks, but getting inside Bucky’s head was a lot of fun and also frustrating at times just because of how complex he really is. There’s a point when you write a character and they just somehow come to life for you, and he did that pretty quickly for me while writing Classic Combo. And I love writing Darcy as a Sydney Bristow-type. I have the whole thing mapped out and I’m pretty excited about where it’s going and how it will end. And the sex. All that’s mapped out too. I practically have diagrams for it ;-) I still can’t believe I haven’t had them totally do it yet. I really need to rectify that. And soon.

And then there’s Easy Chair, which was meant to be a one-shot, but turned into a longer thing, as shit tends to do with me. It was just fun. Totally fun. No pressure. And in that respect it’s my favorite.

08. Quote a favourite extract from one of your stories. What is it that you like about it?

From Classic Combination:

"We should be best friends, James Buchanan ... because that's what we are. In the story of Captain America, greatest hero of our times, and Jane Foster, famous Nobel Prize-winning scientist, and a god's one true love … that's what we are. We're the classic best friends. We're the sidekicks. We should be the main characters in our own story."

That pretty much sums Wintershock up for me. Two sidekicks who deserve better, deserve so much more tender loving care, getting their very own story. And we, the Wintershock fam, tell that story over and over again in so many amazing ways. And I feel so lucky and blessed to be a part of it.

Mod note: still wanting nominations, please and thank you.