#i drank a lot of coffee and didnt edit

[parkneroses]

parkner week day 2! it’s a day late (a day and four hours in my time zone but i’m pretending i’m american so i don’t seem like a crazy person writing until 4am)

major thanks again to @emptycanoflizards who gave me lots of lovely (ᵘⁿᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉᵈ) compliments on my day 1 fic and everyone else who said something nice about it!! thank you for the motivation to actually write this <3

word count: 2.1k | if you enjoy this, buy me a coffee? | read it on ao3

day 2: they were roommates/prom/jealousy

This was a nightmare. Both a personal one- Tony really wasn’t a fan of aliens, for obvious reasons- and a PR one. How the hell was he supposed to explain why these.. these butter monsters were completely unaffected by the abundant security measures around Avengers Tower? How was he supposed to predict that there were creatures in the universe that could just melt, and resolidify at will? How was he supposed to blow them to bits with drones if they just fused back together like some kind of nightmarish oil-based hydra? (the monster, not the organisation.)

Fire seemed to be the only thing capable of keeping them at bay, which was horribly inconvenient seeing as there were only two avengers capable of harnessing that element, and Rhodey was in fucking DC. And he definitely wasn’t about to let Peter start swinging around the top floors of the tower with a homemade flamethrower, no matter how much the kid insisted.

“Tony?” Captain America’s voice came through the comms.

“Busy,” Tony replied. Cap knew that of course, he could see the tiny flashes of light in the dark sky that was Tony in the Iron Man suit whizzing around and burning the monsters to a crisp eight hundred feet above him.

“Tony. We can’t do damage to the aliens on ground level. Civilians have been evacuated and the tower is on lockdown. The aliens don’t seem to be capable of range damage, they need to engulf someone to actually hurt them. They seem adamant on attacking the tower, nothing else is sparking their interest, and they’re not smart enough to go attacking civilians to get our attention. I say we go inside, look over our options. You can’t kill them all yourself.”

Tony wasn't in favour of leaving his tower to get soaked in… alien guts? No, butter. Thinking of it as butter made it slightly more tolerable. Who would want their home and workplace to smell like a two-star diner? Not Tony, that’s for sure, but something about how Cap’s usually stoic, unwavering tone was peppered with grunts and wheezes made him reconsider. Coney Island fair scented tower it was, then. He signalled to Friday to open up the second floor windows so the Avengers could climb in, and flew through behind them into a conference room.

Natasha’s usually pristine hair was soaked through with the butter. Tony got the impression that she’d nearly been taken out, if her sigh of relief was at all telling. Bruce looked slightly green, but that might have been the bluish tint of his tired skin mixing with the yellow liquid to look a sickly vomit colour. Steve and Bucky had splatters of the goop in random places on their gear, but they were mostly clean. True professionals, those two. Sam and Clint, who had been in charge of evac, were chilling on the couch. They had finished their jobs almost an hour ago, content to leave the heavy lifting to the rest of the team for once. Steve was the first to speak.

“It’s late. They’re not going anywhere. Break for the night. Recuperate, and at be geared up at seven in the morning to go back out and finish them off.”

Steve was the boss, so Tony didn’t protest.

*

In Tony’s defense, he never meant for the tower to actually house people. Sure, there were a couple spare bedrooms on his personal floor, and the Avengers’ rooms on the floor below his, but that was kind of it. The granite and marble floors, glass tables and concrete desks were picked for their sleek and minimalist style, not their comfort. Although it was nearing midnight, there were still a couple hundred people in the tower. Mostly due to night shifts, but there were always a couple of late-night stragglers, usually employees that couldn’t keep their mitts off their ultra exciting projects. Plus twenty or so S.H.I.E.L.D agents. And Nick Fury of course, because if there was a god in this cruel world, he was intent on making Tony suffer.

Pepper had been a dream in sorting out beds for the lockdown prisoners. Scientists who were used to long nights and sleeping in uncomfortable places curled up in the padded chairs of the desk jockeys, who in turn rested their sore spines in the nap holes scattered around the labs. There were spare blankets in the donation bins on the ground floor, so the security guards that weren’t on the job made beds on the floor of the lobby. Pepper was his saviour. And for that, Tony owed her.

“I’m not dealing with the S.H.I.E.L.D agents. I’ve done my part, and quite frankly I’m exhausted from a full day of running your company. It’s your turn now,” Pepper said, shrugging off her jacket and making her way to the elevator.

Tony turned to the Avengers.

“You guys down to share rooms?” He asked. That earned him a smile and a small nod from both Steve and Bucky, but glares from the rest of the team, and a tasteful, “Oh, hell no,” from Sam.

Tony huffed and pulled a chair out from the conference table. He slumped in it (there was a time and a place for impeccable posture, and this wasn’t it), and pulled up a map of the upper floors of the tower with help from Friday.

“Okay,” Tony muttered under his breath. “Twenty S.H.I.E.L.D agents, and seven spare rooms on my floor, plus Capsicle’s on the team floor, and couches. Twenty S.H.I.E.L.D agents, and eight bed spaces. Two per room, and two per couch. Friday, assign rooms based on personality and filter for lowest chance of conflict. Direct all S.H.I.E.L.D agents to their rooms.”

Tony was surprised at how easy that had been. Maybe he was actually capable of doing things without Pepper! Who knew?

The celebrations could wait until the morning. For now, Tony needed his beauty sleep. Early mornings were a bitch to his skin. He couldn’t imagine the butter was helping with that.

*

Of course, all good things had to end eventually.

Someone was knocking on his door. Tony didn’t like it when people wanted his attention during sleepy-hours. He laid his head back down on the pillow and felt his eyes slip closed.

But the knocking wouldn’t stop.

“Boss. Your door.” Friday reminded him. Tony sat up with a groan.

“Yes, Friday, I got that. Who is it?”

“Harley Keener is knocking on your door, sir. Would you like me to open it?” Friday asked. Tony’s eyes went wide. Of course he thought designating rooms was easy, he had fucked it up. And wasn’t that just how everything in his life went?

At Tony’s hurried request, the door swung open to reveal a lanky, six-foot-something boy wearing nothing but his Hello Kitty pajama pants, death-gripping the pillow in his arms.

“To-ny,” Harley slurred, his voice heavy and deep with lethargy. “There’s people in m’ room.”

Pepper tutted from where she lay at Tony’s side. With a dramatic sigh, he heaved himself out of bed to sort out yet another problem. If he wasn’t a billionaire, Tony would probably never stop complaining about how he wasn’t paid enough to deal with this shit. So what if he forgot the kid was staying over? He’d only been here a day and Tony had spent most of that day saving the world from oleaginous potential overlords. It wasn’t his fault.

Except it was, and that meant he had to help. He gently guided the kid by his shoulder back to the room he was meant to be staying in. It was the nicest guest room in the penthouse, specially decorated for Harley (not that the kid knew it), with sky blue walls and plants on every surface to remind him of home. And in the middle of it, sitting cross legged on the king sized bed with a hand full of Uno cards each, were Nick Fury and Maria Hill.

So much for getting Harley his room back.

Tony frowned and shut the door gently. Desperate times, he reasoned.

“Do you mind sharing a room with someone? Promise it’s only for one night.” He asked.

“S’long as the room has a bed in it, I’on’ care,” Harley mumbled, releasing his vice grip on the pillow for a second to rub aggressively at his eyes. Tony let his shoulders drop in relief and directed him the other way down the hall. He had been meaning to introduce his chil- no, his mentees eventually, and this seemed as good a time as any.

*

Harley stood fixed to the ground in shock next to Tony as the man explained the situation to the other kid- no, the angel sitting on the queen sized bed in the middle of the room. He had what looked to be a Physics textbook open on his lap in front of him, and Harley thought he heard the angel mutter something like, “Flamethrowers are dangerous, Peter. You could get hurt. Look where playing it safe got you. I couldn’t do my homework ‘cause I was too stressed and you- you smell like bad movie popcorn and guts,’ under his breath when Tony stopped talking

Harley gently lifted Tony’s hand off his shoulder and turned to face him.

“Go. I’m good here,” Harley said softly. Tony shrugged at him, and threw a strained smile at Peter that Harley roughly translated to, “Be on your best behaviour or we’ll be talking about this later.” He was well acquainted with that particular look.

Harley brushed it off and went to sit on the bed. He stuck his hand out to shake Peter’s.

“How do ‘ya do?,” He asked, his accent laying thick in the back of his throat. Peter shook his hand with a surprisingly strong grip, and his cheeks flushed a colour that reminded Harley of the baby pink irises that grew in his backyard back home.

“Good. Name’s Peter. Parker.”

“Nice to meet you, Peter. Parker. What’re you up to?” Harley flashed his most charming make-old-ladies-swoon smile, and Peter chuckled.

Harley felt himself relax. Peter’s laugh felt like a cold drink on a hot summer’s day, cooling him down on the inside while his face grew warm. It was light, and refreshing, and... he had missed the answer to his question.

“What was that, darlin’?”

Peter’s blush grew darker, and he squirmed for a second until he realised what he was doing and stopped abruptly.

“Physics homework. It’s boring, and it sucks. D’you wanna watch a movie or something instead?”

God, his voice was just as pretty as his laugh. Everything about Peter was pretty. He had really fluffy bed-head that reminded Harley of a pom pom, that he just wanted so badly to run his fingers through, and Harley could feel the blood in his cheeks heat himself up enough that he could just melt into Peter’s chocolate river eyes.

Harley was staring, and clearly Peter got the wrong idea.

“Or, or we could just go to bed, if you wanna, I just thought since it’s not that late-”

Harley’s eyebrows furrowed, and Peter’s sentence trailed off. They stared into each other's eyes for what felt like ten minutes, though it couldn’t have been more than a couple of seconds. Harley imagined being engulfed by liquid bronze as he tried to swim in the thick swirls of brown and gold in Peter’s irises.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, and mumbled,

“Yeah, movie sounds great. What’ve you got?”

Peter smiled at him and pulled up the covers so Harley could get in properly. He pushed himself up against the headboard, arranging cushions behind him to support his back during the movie.

“Already got one open,” Peter said, scooching up next to Harley under the covers and laying his laptop between them. “It’s a classic.”

Harley smiled as the opening credits of Clueless began to play. Peter had great taste.

*

“Morning, lovebirds,” Tony said gleefully.

Harley groaned and grabbed his pillow tighter, pulling it flush to his chest and burying his face in it to shield himself from the light.

Except, the thing in his arms was something much harder than a pillow, and the scent of chemical coconut filling his lungs was definitely of a shampoo.

His sentient pillow groaned, pulling him closer and mumbled, “Five more minutes, Miss’r Stark.”

“No can do. Aliens are dead, and Clint made breakfast!” Tony’s jubilant tone didn’t falter. Harley raised an eyebrow at the man.

“What’d he make?” Harley asked sceptically. He hadn’t met the Avengers many times, but even he knew not to trust Clint’s cooking.

“Butter croissants!”

Harley stiffened, and Peter let a puff of breath that warmed Harley’s chest and mumbled,

“Oh, hell no.”

[hentaimommi]

Bar Nights | Dabi x Reader

Warnings: drinking (obvi), boss/worker affiliation, death/murder, straight smut (with a plot)

A/N: I'd say this is based in the US, plus a little bit of dark content. darker than my usual-ish, no yandere tho. also this was SO long I didnt edit it oopsie sorry

It was getting late; around three-am late, to be exact. I sat freshly cleaned shot glasses down on a towl, then moved to the end of the bar. The new hours had me messed up, some of my day shifts worked into doubles which turned into night shifts, making me leave around three or four in the morning.

Walking into the back break room, I grabbed up my purse and keys. Then I proceeded to open my bosses door, to say goodbye. When I did, I found he was asleep at the desk. I giggled a bit, seeing Dabi so tired. It was odd a man so young was running the bar. I was the youngest mixer but that was average. To be twenty-three running a night bar was very, very odd.

Still, I walked over and put my jacket I had in hand over his shoulders and turned off the lights to his office. I needed sleep before my next shift, which was at seven the next night. Usually I catch the young clubbing crowd, which means a lot of fruity mixes.

My apartment wasn't but a block away, so leaving Dabi resting, I decided to head out. Immediately I regretted leaving my jacket. Not because of him, but damn. "Shit its cold." I whispered to myself, the hot air from my breath creating a steam effect. Hurriedly, I went up the six flights of stairs it took to get into my penthouse like apartment near downtown, just on the outskirts of the commotion.

Deciding I needed immediate rest, I plopped onto the couch, and passed out.

Waking up to the sound of my three thirty alarm, I realized I had slept twelve hours in my living room. Deciding it was time to get up and do a little self care, I stepped through my kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. I then went over to my stereo, where I shuffled through my phone to find the perfect song to begin my shower/getting ready regimen to.

"Call Me" By Blondie began playing whilst I got undressed to shower. After that I threw on some black pajamas and drank the rest of my coffee. My phone began to ring, to my surprise it was my co-worker, Kurogiri.

"Hey, tonight is no uniform night according to Dabi, so dress how you feel. Just thought I'd call and let you know before your shift." I could hear glasses clinking in the back, people talking. Was it really that loud? "Oh, okay, thank you. I had no idea. Dabi fell asleep on my shift last night, poor guy." I began prepping my fingernails for black polish, pushing the phone to my ear with my shoulder.

Kurogiri chuckled with his signature deep voice, "Yeah, I saw your jacket on his desk this morning. Wondered what that was about, he told me he woke up with it on!" I too laughed, "I guess I'm just a bad ass bar tender. What can I say? Anyways, I'm gonna get ready for my long night, thank you Kuro!" He mhm-ed me, then hung up. I was surprised he wasn't too busy to call, but more surpised I didnt have to wear a uniform.

When picking my outfit I went for more of an all black look, mostly because all I owned was that color but also so nobody could see if I spilled a drink. A simple cropped turtle neck paired with a pair of black cargo pants, and my favorite platformed docs to match the vibe. After doing my hair and makeup, I put on a second jacket do my walk downtown wouldnt freeze me.

My the time I arrived to the bar it was fluttering with people, families, friend groups. Kurogiri seemed to handle busy moments well though, not worrying about any of the people around him. I headed to put my things away and he greeted me with a wave.

Entering the break room, I sat my things down, then decided to check on Dabi before I headed out to assist Kuro. Opening his door, he was busy on his laptop set up, overthrows raising when he noticed me. "Ah, princess. What brings you back here?" My face flushed more than I noticed or cared to admit, the office smelled like the cigarette he had been smoking.

"Oh I was just wondering how you feel. Last night you seemed pretty tired." He looked up at me, shutting his laptop. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. I slept pretty well, though, I was rather warm. Wonder why.." His thumb grazed his chin dramatically and I giggled a bit. "Whatever don't mention it. Just don't pass out on me tonight, I might need you." He cocked a brow and grinned, "Needing me, huh?" I rolled my eyes and covered my face. "Oh stop it. I'll be on shift if you need me."

Kurogiri greeted me as I began picking up drink orders and charging people, he said he always enjoyed watching how fast I worked. Customers in and out. Kuro left around ten, leaving me to pick up the messy drunks of a Saturday night bender. Particularly one man, who stayed at my bar until one, when he decided to speak.

"You're a pretty girl, huh?" I froze, half a rag in a glass turned with my back to the man. I sighed. Old drunks were the worst. I turned to face him, "Guess so, sir." I then began cleaning off counters and discarding used fruits and salts. He followed me to the end of the bar, making me tense up. "It's rude to not ask a paying customer what he wants to drink.." He slurred. I sighed, throwing a rag over my shoulder.

"What do you want to drink, sir?" I asked, now leaning closer to him. That was a mistake, as he gripped the top of my shirt and jerked me up over the side of the bar. "You." I began to freak out as he pulled me closer, screaming for Dabi and kicking around. Dabi appeared around the corner, rushing over behind the man, hitting him in the back of the head.

He dropped me but Dabi didn't stop, he continued to hit him, with no resistance. I ran to to the other side, pulling his fist away from the bloody corpse, watching as the anger in Dabi's eyes faded as he looked into my own. "Jesus fucking christ Dabi, he's fucking dead!" I combed my hair back, sitting into my knees. Dabi did the same. I wasn't scared of him, but I was scared of the silence.

"I-Im sorry. But he was touching and I just, I don't know. Fuck, what do I do?" He leaned his head back, pushing his palms over his eyes. I thought for a moment. "We hide him." He looked at me in a little shock, then nodded. "Thank you." I pushed my head into his shoulder and told him it would be okay. Then I turned off the opened sign, and came back to Dabi, plus the dead man. He was a scrawny old man, nothing more. We both picked up one side and brought him around back. His head was bashed in, but Dabi's knuckles were busted and bleeding. After we threw him into a dumpster out back, Dabi called Kurogiri, who said he could deal with it.

When we headed back in, I immediately went to Dabi's office and found the med bag. He followed me loosely and lit a cigarette. "Hey, could you not smoke? I'm about to clean your knuckles dumbass." I rolled my eyes, pulling out the alcohol pads and bandages. "Okay princess." He ashed the bud out on his desk, putting his palm in my hand. I gently began cleaning the wounds, watching Dabi make no sudden movement to the pain.

Once it was bandaged, we sat adjacent to eachother. "Thank you, for that." I spoke. He waved his hand off slightly, "Don't mention it. Scumbag touches my princess and expects to get away with it? Fucking degenerate." I nodded then looked up. Our faces were rather close, yet I was having a hard time deciding what he wanted. Luckily he showed me moments later, when he kissed me softly. I realxed into his touch even though I knew it was wrong, thankful he had stayed awake tonight. He was so warm, it was hard not to fall into his arms when he pulled me closer, into his lap.

My legs hung over the sides of his chair, while his hands went up my back, pulling me closer. I could feel it- the hardness below me, sitting comfortably on his hard cock. My mind wondered how he could be so horny for me after killing a man, but our lips never disconnected for me to ask.

Finally when they did, his lips made their way down my neck, letting my airy moans fill the small office space. "You're such a good girl, (F/N). Sitting perfectly still on your bosses lap, begging for more." My hands rested on his shoulders as my face turned hot. "Y-You did say I'm your princess, so.." My head tilted as his mouth met my nipple through the fabric of my shirt. The sensitive bud was sandwiched between his wet lips, played with by his tonuge. His large hands gripped my ass, forcing me so I couldn't pull away, even if I wanted.

"That indeed you are." He whispered. I kicked my shoes off, leading him to do the same and begin pulling my pants down. There wasn't much talking as he drank in my body, his hands exploring each new surface as he sat me into his chair and sunk into the floor below me. He looked at me like I was prey as he softly kissed my inner thighs, leading all too close to my soaking wet pussy.

His mouth gently sucked my clit through my panties, his hands toying with my breasts as he moaned into me. His hand snaked around, pulling my wet panties off, exposing my swollen clit.

"Dabi, you feel so good." He darkly moaned as he pulled down his underwear to put his cock over my clit. He softly rubbed his pre-cum soaked tip over me, teasing me softly. "You have no idea how many times I've imagined you like this." He then pushed his cock inside, taking up each bit of space I had. We sighed together once he was all the way in, his hands pushing my arms just above my head.

"Don't scream, princess." I was confused until he started thrusting, realizing just how wet I had been, just how desperate for my own boss. His cock filled me up perfectly, hitting each spot as I moaned into his shoulder. His moans were perfect, we both filled the open space with nothing but sounds of pleasure and excitement as he fucked up into me.

Eventually I became close, he noticed, too. "Fuck, you get so tight when you're gonna cum on my cock. Let me give it to you, please." I nodded as my face heated, knowing we would cum together. His abs flexed hard as he came inside of me, my own body convulsing into his arms, as he wrapped them around me to become closer.

He pushed all the way inside once more, then kissed my forehead. "(F/N), you're so perfect. So, mine."

[13dead-ends]

Chapter 9 A Week Away

Chapter 9 of Blood Bound

Henry Cavill x Named OC

Word Count: 5k

Summary: Nina is back in America for the holiday and tries to have a good vacation despite being away from Henry and rising tensions in the donor community.

Warnings: riot heavy chapter, incorrect use of fireworks, mentions of blood, stitches, (if i missed some please let me know)

A/N: Here it is finally! I wanted this out weeks ago so i didnt really edit at all. Im sorry! Also thanks to @hellcaster901​ and her ideas there is some drama on its way!! Enjoy! <3

“Wake up! It’s time for breakfast!” I grinned as a knee landed on my gut. I opened my eyes and saw Irene’s 11 year old cousin was jumping on us.

           “Lucas, I swear to god if you don’t get out right now!” Irene teased, pushing him off of us.

           “Geez, fine!” He giggled and ran out. “But it really is time for breakfast.” He yelled back at us.

           “He’s lucky he’s young. Otherwise I might kill him.” I laughed.

           “Come on, let’s get up.” We got out of bed and went downstairs. I smelled bacon and coffee as we entered the kitchen. There were sounds of glass clinking together and silverware being jostled around.

           “There you two are, always the last ones up.” Mom was pushing around a large pan of scrambled eggs. “Irene go help your cousin set the table, Nina, honey, will you put some more coffee on? The aunts are guzzling it down.”

           “Sure, mom.” Irene went to the table and I went to the coffee pot. The thing was already empty so I just loaded the new grounds in with the water.

           “Did you sleep okay? I know you’re usually asleep technically right now.” I nodded, pulling out my own mug for when the coffee was done.

           “I slept like the dead. Flying that long really wears me out.” She rubbed my back.

           “I bet, but I’m glad you’re here honey. I didn’t want you alone on thanksgiving so far away.” I couldn’t help but hug her.

           “Thanks, mom. For letting me come every year.” She kissed my head.

           “You’ll always be invited.” She squeezed me and let me go. I went to help Irene with the table. I found her chasing her cousin with a fork and I rolled my eyes.

           “Irene, stop tormenting your cousin.” Lucas had a smirk on his face though. “And you too, Lucas.” He huffed. The table was only half set, so I took the fork out of Irene’s hand and set it down.

           “He’s the little brother I never asked for!” Irene teased and Lucas laughed. We finished the table and I had set my phone down somewhere.

           “Lucas, did you see where I put my phone?” I looked over to him, he was standing across the table, my phone in his hand.

           “You mean this one?” As he held it up it rang and I saw Henry’s contact fill the screen. “Oh look at someone’s calling.” Irene cackled while I moved to snatch the phone back. “Nina’s phone, who’s this?” He answered, running away from me. “Henry? Are you Nina’s British friend? I’m Lucas!” I rolled my eyes and he made it around the table to Irene. She stopped him, taking the phone away. Before I could thank her she put the phone up to her ear.

           “Jesus Christ.” I mumbled, stopping my feet and rubbing my forehead.

           “Henry, I’d like to personally apologize for my cousin. This is Irene by the way, Nina’s best friend.” I walked over to her.

           “You’re so dramatic.” I punched her shoulder and took the phone.

           “Hey Henry are you still there?” He was chuckling already as I put the phone to my ear.

           “Yes darling,” I walked out and to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

           “Oh good. I would’ve hung up on all that.” He laughed again.

           “No it was funny, plus I did say I wanted to meet Irene.” I laughed.

           “She wants to meet you.”

           “How old is Lucas?”

           “11.” I sighed. “But hey, what’s up?”

           “I just wanted to see if you were up yet, ask how California was so far?”

           “It’s good, we’re about to eat breakfast. I thought you’d be sleeping right now?”

           “I’m staying up for a night shoot, I thought it’d work out if I called you now.” I smiled.

           “It did! How are you?”

           “I’m alright, tired now that my schedules off.”

           “Yeah, I’m just waiting for jet lag to kick in.”

           “I know how that feels. Are you doing anything today?”

           “I’m not sure what Irene has planned. I am going to see some friends at the company tomorrow, though.” Kari had found out through Abbey that I was coming to the states and she wanted to see me.

           “Oh that will be good, just be careful? The protests are pretty regular there.” The protests had become a regular part of the news lately. LA did have it bad.

           “I will, Irene’s family lives in the suburbs, so that’ll probably be the only time I’m in the city.” I heard Mom call for breakfast.

           “Good, I’ll try to call you when I can and text.”

           “Thanks, so will I.”

           “Go eat breakfast, talk to you soon.”

           “Bye Henry.” We hung up and I went back out to eat. The table now had plates of bacon, sausage, and eggs, plus Auntie Jen and Auntie Jess were sitting at the table, both with fresh cups of coffee.

           “There’s Nina,” Jen got up and hugged me. “You look beautiful as usual.” I smiled and went over to Jess to hug her, she kissed my cheek.

           “There’s fresh coffee in there honey.” I laughed nodding.

           “I know, I’ll get some.” Lucas came running in with a big glass of orange juice. “Woah, slow down, buddy.” He slowed to a walk and sat next to his mom, Jess. I went to fill my mug and saw Irene’s dad pouring two mugs, one of them being mine.

           “Hey Nina,” He smiled at me over his glasses. “I got your cup.”

           “Thanks,” I went to the fridge and got the creamer. I poured it in each of ours and he clinked our glasses together before we drank.

           “It’s good to see you back here.” He rubbed my back and we walked into the dining room to eat with the family.

           Irene ended up dragging me out to go grocery shopping with her so I wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of the day. Henry did text me here and there, in between takes of his night shoot. It wasn’t a lot but it was all I could get for the time being.

             “Irene, its just lunch, we’re not even leaving the building.” It was the next day and Irene was dropping me off at the company building.

           “I know, but those protesters are there a lot. Especially lately.” I sighed, seeing the building up the street.

           “I promise I’ll be careful. Plus security has been amped up a lot.” It was true security had been raised company wide. I had noticed the increase in it the last time I was at the building in London. It made me feel better, but more anxious at the same time.

           “Just call me if you need anything. I’ll be here at two o’clock to pick you up.” She held the steering wheel fighters as we came up to the front door, four or five protesters with stupid signs were out front already. “Okay, nope, we’re going home.” Security was pushing them back from the door, but Irene was letting off the brakes.

           “Irene, it’s fine. The guards can handle a few people with signs.” She huffed but stopped.

           “I’ll call you when I’m here. Seriously be careful.”

           “Thank you, Irene. See you later, okay?” I opened the door and hopped out. One of the guards held open the door for me as I ignored the taunts from the protesters.

           “Freak!” I heard as the door shut. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

           “Nina! Welcome back.” I opened my eyes and saw Kari standing at the front desk. “Sorry about all that. They’re all idiots.” I laughed as she pulled me to the elevator. “It’s good to see you!”

           “It’s good to see you.” She linked her arm with mine. “Have they been bothering you guys a lot?” She hit the up button and we waited for the doors.

           “Yes, they stand out there all the time. It’s obvious not doing anything so why don’t they just stop?” The doors opened and we stepped in, Kari pressing the button.

           “I don’t know. It’s weird in London too.” She shook her head.

           “Again, they are all idiots.” We made it up to her floor and walked to her office. “I got us burgers and they just got here.”

           “Yay, thank you!” We sat at her desk and caught up with each other.

           “Henry Cavill’s still your client right?” I nodded, picking at what was left of my fries. “How is that? I haven’t donated since I was in college, and when he sent in his paperwork I almost started again.” I chuckled, shaking my head.

           “I mean, he’s like most clients. He calls me, he feeds.” She raised an eyebrow. “What?”

           “Oh come on, what else? You donors get to meet all these celebrities all the time. What’s he like? Please tell me he’s as charming as he looks.” I giggled at her dramatics.

           “He is really charming.” I rested my chin on my hand and my elbow on the desk. “He never pressures me into anything, which is great.”

           “Has he bought you lots of things? Abbey told me about this trip she went on once.” I nodded. Irene texted me then, saying she was on her way, but traffic was bad. I furrowed my brow, we were well past the lunch rush, but there could be an accident or something.

           “Yeah, he bought me this beautiful dress for a wedding he took me too, here I think I have a picture.” At some point during the wedding the photographer had taken photos of us and Henry had gotten his hands on it. It was just us talking. I was looking up at him and his hand was moving as he explained something to me. “He surprised me with the dress and the bag-“

           “Nina, you look like a couple!” I couldn’t help but smile. “You look beautiful!” She took my phone and I saw her zoom in. “You’ve got some cow eyes for Henry too.” She laughed at me and I punched her shoulder. “Seriously, you both look good.” She handed me the phone back. “Do you like him?” Her brows raised, but she was smiling.

           “Well yeah, apparently I have cow eyes.” She rolled her eyes. “I only showed you the picture to see the dress.”

           “And you thought I wouldn’t notice the rest of the picture?” She laughed. “My advice is to tie him down before it’s too late.” I joined her laughter as we started cleaning up our trash from lunch.

           “How long are you in town for?” We walked to the elevator.

           “Just for the week. I’ll fly back-“ Kari’s phone rang and she sighed.

           “Hang on.” She answered it and I went over to the windows to see if Irene’s car was out front. My eyes widened as I looked at the street below. The group of protesters had multiplied and weren’t happy. Security was holding them back, but there were a lot of people. I gulped when I saw a man push a guard down.

           “Kari-“ I was going to call her over here, but an object flew out of the crowd, I couldn’t figure out what it was. I squinted my eyes as the protesters looked up. I backed up as I realized what it was. The firecracker hit and shattered a window only yards away from where we were standing. Kari screamed and I pushed her back the the way we came as the the thing popped so loud my ears were ringing. Smoke filled the hallway as we ran. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but Kari grabbed my wrist, pulling me faster. I choked on the smoke as she pulled me into the stairway. The echos of our feet and coldness of the concrete walls made me shiver.

           “Nina, what was that?”

           “A fucking firework.” I still didn’t believe it.

           “Security told me to go back to my office and lock the doors, but that was before the firework.” She held her head. “Oh my god, Nina, what’s happening?” My hands shook.

           “Is there somewhere else we can go?” There were tears in her eyes as she thought.

           “A few floors down there’s a janitorial room that locks.” I grabbed her hands.

           “Okay, let’s go. Just keep it together until then.” She nodded, but I wasn’t sure if I couldn’t hold it together. We jumped out of our skin when we heard a door slam at the bottom of the staircase. “Does this lead outside?” Her eyes widened as we heard loud footsteps and voices coming up the stairs.

           “Yes, shit, let’s go.” She pulled me down two flights and burst through the door at the last one, all while the protesters got louder. We ran as fast as we could through another floor of offices. “It’s on the other side of the floor.” Kari ran faster and my hand slipped from hers. We ran past more windows, staying close to the opposite wall. Kari got farther head of me and as I sped up a window shattered in front of me. I stopped so hard I tripped and fell, cutting my arm on glass. Before I could get up I saw what broke the window, Another firework. I scrambled backwards, trying to find my footing. I barely got to my feet before it went off. I covered my face and felt the smoke surround me. Popping and sizzling and the choking smell of smoke invaded my senses. The ringing in my ears got higher in pitch and I couldn’t heard much. The smoke was clearing but my chest forced coughs up my throat. Someone grabbed my arm and I turned to see Kari. She sounded muffled, but she was telling me to follow her so I clutched her arm for dear life and she took me to the room we were looking for. She slammed the door shut and locked it. I had to sit down, I found some folding chairs and got one.

           “Nina? Are you okay?” Kari turned to me. “Oh my god, your arm.” She walked to me and pushed my ripped sleeve up. The cut was bleeding and pretty big. I couldn’t really feel it yet, but I knew it hit me sooner or later. “I think you need stitches.” I leaned back and she found a rag. “Put pressure on it.” She chewed on her lip as she look at me.

           “Kari, it’s okay.”

           “No it’s not! Those assholes hurt you. God, you wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t begged you to go to lunch.” I shook my head.

           “I agreed to be here, Kari. This is not your fault. It’s those crazies.” Suddenly we heard voices and running outside. I pressed my lips together and Kari pressed her ear on the door. I jumped when my phone rang and I scrambled to turn it off. It was Irene, but I couldn’t talk. I tried texting her but I heard a voice clear as day outside the door.

           “Dude, the cops are here.”

           “Fuck, let’s go.” More footsteps fading away and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Irene called me again and I answered.

           “Nina! What the fuck is going on? There’s smoke coming from windows and there’s protesters running everywhere.” She was crying, I could hear it in her voice. “Please tell me you’re okay.”

           “I’m okay. I’m locked in a janitors closet, but I’m okay.” I tried not to stare at the white rag turning red on my arm. “You need to get back home. It’s not safe.”

           “No way. I’m coming to get you.” I felt a lump in my throat form.

           “Irene, no.” If she got hurt here, I’d never forgive myself.

           “I can’t just leave you there. Like you said it’s not safe.” My eyes welled up.

           “I know, but if you try and help me we’ll both be stuck here. Or worse.” I shuddered. “I’ll try to text you when I can, but I gotta go.”

           “Nina are you sure-“

           “Go home. I’ll be okay.” I hung up before I started crying. “Please go home Irene.” Kari had been texting someone as I spoke, she was shaking a little so I got her a chair, my arm beginning to throb. “Sit.” I told her and she did.

           “Cops are outside, I texted security where we are, they’ll be here soon.” I shut my eyes and leaned back. “How’s your arm?”

           “It’s fine. I probably need to get it looked at though.” My phone buzzed again and I saw notifications from news websites I follow. I clicked one and saw a live video of outside the building. Protesters were running off as police filled the area. The street had been blocked off, and police were detaining whoever they could. I closed the video and shut my eyes.

           “LA PD, anyone in here?” We had been completely silent as we waited for the police. Kari ran over to the door and unlocked it.

           “Yes, we’re here.” She opened the door. “My friend, she’s hurt.” Two cops were on the other side.

           “There are EMTs downstairs.” The cops took us downstairs and EMTs had set up in the donations lab. Kari sat with me as they cleaned my arm and thankfully just stitched it there. It hurt bad now that the adrenaline was gone. No one was majorly injured. A donor did have to go get some burns looked at but she was going to be okay.

           “You guys can wait here. I think the police need to ask you guys some questions.” I huffed.

           “I just want to go back home.” I mumbled. I’ve also had the urge to call Henry since the cops found us, but I didn’t want to worry him. It seems like I’d be busy for a bit anyways.

           “Hello, ladies.” One of the cops from before walked to us. “If you don’t mind answering some questions for us. I can take one of you over to my partner.” Kari stood.

           “I’ll go first. Nina, I can get you home after all this okay? We’ll leave as soon as we’re done.” I nodded and she let the man lead her away. I started a message to Irene, but Henry’s contact lighting up my screen interrupted me.

           “Henry?” I answered it immediately.

           “Nina, oh my god. I just saw the news. We’re you in the building today?” I sighed.

           “Yeah, I’m still there now.” I heard movement on the other end.

           “What? Are you alright? What’s going on?” I looked down at my bandaged forearm.

           “I’m okay. The cops are here and it’s settling down.” I scratched at some soot on my jeans. “I’ve been wanting to call you.”

           “I’m so glad your okay. I needed to make sure. Do you want to tell me what happened?” I swallowed, but explained everything. He sighed as I finished.

           “God, I could fly over there right now if I didn’t-“

           “No it’s okay. I’m fine. I’ll be back soon. Fortunately a little cut doesn’t ruin a vacation.” The bandage covered half my arm, but he didn’t know that.

           “Are you sure you’re okay?” I took a deep breath, seeing Kari and cop walking back.

           “Yeah. I’m okay, Henry. I think I need to talk to the police now. I’ll talk to you soon.

           “Alright. If you need to talk, just call me, okay?” We said goodbye and I answered the questions from the police. It didn’t take long and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

           “Come on, Nina. I can take you home.” The cops took us to the back where they were sending everybody home through. Kari lead me to her car and we drove mostly in silence.

           “Are you okay, Kari?” I asked her as we turned on Irene’s street.

           “I should be okay soon. Are you?” I nodded and she pulled into Irene’s driveway. Irene was standing on the porch with Mom. “Have a good Thanksgiving. Hopefully that’ll keep our minds off things.” I pulled her into a big hug and got out.

           The two women on the porch hugged me as soon as I was in reach. I squeezed them tightly as I tried not to cry. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you cleaned up.” Mom pulled me inside, arm around my shoulder. Irene held my hand and followed us inside. I let them bring me upstairs, the cousins and aunts in the living room staring at me as we went. I told them I just needed to shower and lay down. Mom squeezed my hands and left. Irene lingered and hugged my neck.

           “I’m glad you’re okay.” She let go and walked off.” I swallowed down tears and went to the bathroom. After my shower I shut Irene’s lights off and got in bed. I dialed Henry’s number and pressed my phone to my ear.

           “Hey Nina. You home?”

           “Yep, finally.” He chuckled.

           “How are you? I mean-you don’t have to answer that.” His sudden stutter made me giggle.

           “Well I feel better after getting all that soot off me. Kari and I probably stunk up her car.” I pulled my phone away and put it on speaker. “Speaking of her, I should make sure she got home.” I sent her a message as Henry spoke.

           “That’s a good thing at least.”

           “I’m just sitting in the dark now. I need the quiet.” I shut my eyes.

           “By the way, try to avoid social media. It’s everywhere right now.” I huffed.

           “Thank you, and thanks for answering.”

           “Of course, it’s good to hear your voice.” I couldn’t help but smile.

           “Yours too.” I whispered.

           “When do you get back to London?” He huffed.

           “Saturday, I think.” I couldn’t think of the time difference right now. “I’ll be back and complaining about jet lag in no time.”

           “I can’t wait.” We talked for a little while and I had to hang up before I fell asleep on the phone. I shut my eyes and it didn’t take long.

           “Nina,” Irene was shaking my shoulder as I opened my eyes. “it’s time to eat.” I got up and followed her downstairs. I really hoped everyone would act normal tonight.

           “Nina, can I see your stitches?” Lucas came from the kitchen holding a bowl of spaghetti.

           “Jesus Lucas!” Irene punched him and I laughed.

           “It’s fine, I’ll have to change the bandages eventually so you can see them then.” He grinned and walked off to the living room.

           “Sorry,”

           “It’s fine. He’s a kid. I’m just glad he’s not being weird.” She furrowed her brows.

           “He just asked to see your stitches.” I shook my head and pulled her to the kitchen where the pot of noodles sat on the stove. Irene and I got our bowls and went to the table.

           “You better eat that entire bowl, Nina.” Aunt Jess poked my arm. “We won’t have that arm ruin thanksgiving.” I shook my head.

           “It won’t. It’s not that bad anyways.” Well it did hurt quite a bit, but I’d take some painkillers soon. “They told me to go to the hospital until the stitches need to come out.”

           “I think we’re all just glad you’re okay. That everyone’s okay.” Mom came in last, and we all ate.

           “Next time I see one of those stupid signs, I’ll beat the crap out of the son of-“ Irene’s dad started

           “Honey, not at the table. Let’s just eat, Nina’s had enough of protests for the day.” I smiled at mom and she happily changed the subject to Black Friday shopping. We ate and the packed table of people made me feel a lot lighter than when I first got back.

I tried focusing on Thanksgiving a lot more, wanting to get my mind off of everything else. I spent the next day grocery shopping for Thanksgiving with Irene and her mom. Irene decided to let me help her with desserts and by seven that evening I was elbow deep in flour. Irene was rolling out another pie crust while I poured the last of the wine in our cups, adding another floury handprint to the mix of them on the bottle.

           “Have you heard anything about the article?” Irene had a splotch of flour on her cheek. I set her glass down next to her and went back to the dishes I was washing.

           “No, my editor emailed me and I thought maybe there’d be something but she was just checking in after everything.” I sighed. “Which was nice, but I want to know what she thinks of everything.” I wore gloves so my bandages stayed dry. “This is the worst part. I hate not knowing what she thinks. Waiting for her response.” I shook my head.

           “Well, I know I’ve only read snippets, but I love it. And Abbey seems so cool. I can’t wait to meet her eventually.” I smiled.

           “You’ll love her. She wants to meet you too. And we have to go out when you two meet.” Irene turned around.

           “Oh my god, it’s been so long since we went to the bars.” She pouted.

           “I know! Look we’re wine drunk let me just buy you plan tickets right now and you come back to London with me.” She burst out laughing.

           “I wish!” She rolled her eyes. “But we should plan something maybe I could get some time off in January?” I nodded, grinning at her.

           “Yes! Just say the word and I’m buying the tickets.” By the time we finished the baking and cleaned up most of the house had gone to bed. We snuck up to Irene’s room and got ready for bed.

           “How crowded is the house going to be tomorrow?” I asked Irene as she got under the covers.

           “Very, why do you think we made so much dessert?” She rattled off a few relatives and I sighed. “You’re really okay right?” It was dark and I couldn’t make out her face.

           “Yeah, I think so.” I sighed. “I’m just glad it’s over and that’s it’s almost Thanksgiving.” She chuckled.

           “Me too. I’m glad you’re okay too.”

 I woke up on Thanksgiving to Irene getting shoved out of bed by Lucas. I laughed with him as she grumbled, running her hands through her messy hair. “Your mom says to get up.” Lucas ran out of the room and I helped Irene off the floor.

           “He’s the worst part of Thanksgiving.” She stated.

           “Shut up you love him.” I patted her back. “Come on, we gotta get ready before everyone gets here.” We got dressed and ended up sharing a bathroom to do our makeup. I was focusing on my eyeliner as Irene danced to some song in the mirror. Suddenly my phone buzzed, almost falling off the toilet, where it had to go to make room for our makeup. Irene was closer so she grabbed it.

           “I think its your editor.” She handed it to me, and I furrowed my brows. I took it from her and answered.

           “Hello?” I stepped out of the bathroom with only one eye done.

           “Nina! I’m sorry to call you today, but with everything going on I just thought I’d let you know early. Your article was amazing and it’s most definitely going on the site.” I broke out into a grin. “I love this Abbey girl; she’s going to kick the series off wonderfully. I see why you picked her.”

           “Thank you so much. I’m so happy you liked it.” I jumped a little, already wanting to tell Irene.

           “I want to talk everything through once were back and settled after this week.”

           “Yes, just let me know.”

           “Happy Thanksgiving, Nina.”

           “Happy Thanksgiving!” I hung up and went right back in to tell Irene.

           “Well what did she say?” She set her curling iron down.

           “She likes the piece, and she wants to make it a series!” Irene cheered and hugged me. “Irene! This is great!”

           “It is! Congrats, Nina!” She rubbed my back. “I think this deserves a celebratory shot.” I laughed and Irene ran out of the bathroom. I shook my head and went to my phone to text Henry. Call me if you can. I want to tell you something. I sent and went back to my makeup. Irene came back up with two shot glasses filled with clear liquid. “Vodka okay?” I cringed, but nodded, taking one from her. We clinked our glasses together and swallowed it down.

           “Yay!” I set my glass down.

           “I say we get hammered today.” Irene began pouring another.

           “Irene, your family is about to be crawling over every inch of this house. I can’t be slurring my words by three p.m.” She only shrugged. “Whatever, I’m not taking care of you later.” We finished getting ready and when I went downstairs, I told everyone the good news. I got a big hug from Mom and a kiss on the cheek from the aunts. I tried not to think about a reply from Henry. He probably was sleeping. I hated different time zones and busy schedules. Turns out that the booze helped keep my mind off it and I was tipsy as I heaped food on my plate. Irene giggled as she handed me the spoon for corn.

           “Someone’s buzzed.”

           “So are you.” I nudged her elbow. We sat together and tried to eat a little of our buzz away. It turned into eating ourselves into food comas, falling asleep on the couch. I slept through my phone ringing, but when I woke up and saw it was Henry I groaned. I tried calling him again, but he didn’t answer. I huffed and rolled my eyes.

           “You’ll talk to him soon don’t worry.” Irene had rolled over in her spot on the couch. “Just go back to sleep.” I put my phone down and pulled a blanket over me.

~~~

Taglist:

@xxxkatxo​ @omgkatinka​ @thereisa8ella​ @lamthetwickster​ @thatgirly81​ @vikingsbifrost​

[uwu-boll]

Yesterday I consumed nearly 4 grams of mushrooms. Here is what that was like for me:

First, this isnt my first rodeo. I've consumed psychedelics a few times before; I wouldnt call myself necessarily experienced but I have an education background in psychopharmacology and I have a couple of trips under my belt already so I knew what to expect and how it was going to feel going into it. 2 months ago. my girlfriend and I purchased 7 grams of mushrooms to split for our anniversary weekend this past week. We purchased a hotel room - I wanted to avoid doing this at home due to a very stressful living situation - and situated our setting so as to be best prepared to go about our experience. This included water, music, videogames, some snacks, etc. The necessities.

Our day started following a night of several shared margaritas and burgers between us. We went swimming, had coffee and a light breakfast, went to therapy together, and then a healthy midday lunch. Following that, we gathered the supplies for the night and settled in at around 3pm. Starting then, I measured out the dosages for the both of us; 2.75g for her, 3.87g for me (the dosages were more or less arbitrary, but we had a ballpark of what kind of experience we were looking for). She ate hers straight up, while I prepared a 'lemon tek'; powdered shrooms soaked in lemon juice for some time. There is some science behind it, but the idea is to shorten the duration or the experience while making it more intense. This also helps with digestion to prevent nausea, although there will still be some present as your body tries to 'reject' the chemical.

My shrooms sat in lemon juice for 20 mins before I tossed them all in orange juice for me to take big gulps of. Disclaimer - I HATE the taste, smell, texture, EVERYTHING about mushrooms. This... isnt necessarily better, but it's the best way to consume them short of capsules, I've found.

3:25 PM: I start drinking my pulpy orange juice - mushroom cocktail. It tastes like sour orange juice, because of the lemon juice I added, but the thought of the mushrooms in there makes me gag before I even get the concoction in my mouth. I can already tell this is going to be an endeavour. I take one big swig, maybe a fifth of the bottle, and approximately a quarter of the dose. I wait about 5 mins before taking another swig

3:35: one more swig, followed by a dab, hoping that the weed will calm my tummy. It does, but not before I nearly puke coughing up a lung

3:45: I finish the cocktail. This whole time I'm watching my girlfriend - who is approximately 15 minutes ahead of me having already dosed - set up the Nintendo switch and design a character on Tony Hawks Pro Skater, the remastered edition. She finishes, we take a dab, and we start playing. We, for some reason, start with a VS game, first to 500,000 points. I dont know why we thought that was a good idea, but we did. From here on, times are approximate.

Approximately 3:50: We are mindlessly skating in complete silence, absolute fixated in this game. I'm pretty high from the dabs as it is, so I'm spacing out and having trouble coordinating.

Approximately 4:00: I'm focused entirely on how gross my stomach feels having drank the cocktail. My body feels heavy, and it's very difficult to coordinate in the game properly.

Approximately 4:15: We are probably 100,000 points into this game before we both realize how long it's going to take before anyone wins. Were both kinda over it, and clearly struggling with performing and we only know it's going to get worse. As the come up begins, I feel a profound sense of anxiety. Recognizing it as the comeup anxiety, I dismiss it, but it's quickly becoming pretty overwhelming. The lemon tek, in shortening and intensifying the experience, creates very powerful come ups. We stop playing THPS and switch to Super Mario 3D World, which makes me feel better

Approximately 4:30: We get through 2 levels before we stop playing for the night. We decide to cuddle and try to calm each other down. We put on Bo Burnham's 'Inside' to listen to while we come up, which was a great idea because we love him. Really got us talking about our pasts and the meanings behind each of his songs. My body is very heavy, but I feel at absolute peace within it - I'm not biting my nails compulsively or shaking my legs - despite the come up anxiety and the slight nausea. I feel attached to the bed, I didnt want to get up even if I had to. I am absolutely CHEESIN, smiling so hard my cheeks still hurt a day later.

Approximately 4:45: I am staring at the wall, looking at what appears to be a pattern overlaying the texture of the wall. I see the same pattern on the bathroom floor. I'm questioning as to whether or not it's really there. I quickly move to the ceiling - a popcorn ceiling - where I am blown away; the lighting in the room makes the ceiling look both purple and green. My pareidolia is going crazy and I see constantly shifting patterns in the white noise that is the popcorn ceiling. The crazy thing is knowing that there is no pattern to the nonsense I am seeing, but making out patterns regardless. I stare at this for awhile. The ceiling is flowing like water.

The exact order of events henceforth are kind of a blur. We lay in bed for the rest of the night, but the topics of discussion vary from point to point, mostly us complimenting each other and praising each other. At some point, Inside ended, and we listened to Hamilton. However, I hardly remember both the end of Inside nor the entirety of Hamilton, and so it's likely that around d approximately 5 oclock, began the Great Existential Breakdown (TM)

At approximately 5 oclock, I was peaking. Emotions were running high, and, in response to being hungry, I had a breakdown because I hated the fact that I was born into a world dominated by cruelty, inhumanity, and the insatiable drive for profit. I hated that I lived in a world where something as simple as hunger was a problem, and that food - a human right - is commodified. I hated that consumption was obligatory, and that to feed the endless gluttony that is the human need to consume, we exploit both our fellow humans, and the planet. I hated that in that obligatory need to consume, weve facilitated this social climate in which it's okay to pollute our world and exploit the human labor condition so as long as its convenient to the consumer and profitable to the corporation. (Now that I think about it, this may have been spurned by Bo Burnhams 'That Funny Feeling', which I feel like is his most powerful song on the album. ) This quickly evolved into how being born, and forced into a world without your consent where conditions like this exist in the first place is inherently a violent act, and that having children is immoral until we create an environment where those conditions are obsolete. Then to how bullshit it is that I am forced to take care of a meatsuit for the whole of my life, but I have to pay to upkeep all of it as if i had some choice in the matter. This lead to me talking about how I wanted to be a transient observer of the universe, untethered to any physical point in space. Not quite dead, not quite alive - still able to see things happen, but not be able to participate. I then went on to say how I didnt think suicide was the answer to my problems because that doesnt necessarily get rid of the conditions that lead to my despair, but rather creates new problems for my loved ones. I knew that the key was to live in despite of the despair and to continue on in search of my own personal meaning.

This breakdown lasted approximately 3 hours and was very emotional for both of us. We spent a lot of time crying and talking about stuff weve never spoken about before. The comedown was very gentle and helped me feel very cathartic and relaxed. Over the course of the comedown I took several dabs, a few of which brought me back to 'The Wonky Space' (TM). However, this was short lived. My girlfriend sat in the tub naked from the waist down, which quickly turned into a bath, and from there, after my breakdown, we started to relax, watch some Shameless, went downstairs, got some snacks, some drinks, and went to bed.

Before I fell asleep, and once I knew the experience was 100% over, I took some time to reflect and felt very satisfied with what happened. It wasnt at all what I expected the night to be, but I felt like I needed to do that, and experience that kind of existential pain. I felt very relaxed once I got control of my body again, and that peace - the general sense of wellbeing, happiness, lack of anxiety, connectivity to my partner and my fellow man - has persisted well into the next day, and will likely continue for at least the next week. 10/10 would do again.

Would I say I had a bad trip? No. Was it a good one? N...no. but I had a great time, it was fun, and enlightening, and helped me realize where I feel like I am struggling mentally.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

lion tamer izzy stradlin x reader

+++++++++

a little break from motionless and def leppard lol. i havent written for izzy in a while but he baby so here you go, have something cute. i have two more lepp fics coming out in the next couple days though so enjoy 

she unedited lol sorry if there are mistakes

song: caffeine cold by fall out boy

Edit cause I forgot to add:

Tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

"come on iz, youre last."

i sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the backseat of my car. i swung his arm over my shoulder and tried to distribute the weight but it wasnt really working. he was basically dead at this point, stumbling around as i walked us to the door. we had all gone out to celebrate the new album release and they had all drank a little too much. i of course was left as the designated driver per usual since i didnt really drink, nor did i usually mind. tonight however was a task, like herding kittens, each member getting side tracked at something new as i tried desperately to get them into their houses or hotel rooms and into their beds. Izzy of course was last, letting me stay with him while i was in town for the release party and start of the press tour.

"youre really good at this."

izzy complimented, a long string of words pouring out of his mouth as i unlocked the door and shoved his keys back in his jacket pocket.

"thanks iz, someones got to be or else you would be on the floor more often."

just as i was closing the door he moved forward without me and tripped, dropping straight to the ground. i sighed as he rolled over and laughed.

"like that."

i pointed out. he kept laughing as he sat up, taking the hand i offered to him. instead of getting up though he just pulled me down with him, me dropping to my knees with a loud thud. he giggled some more at the exasperated look on my face.

"now youre on the floor too."

he laughed out, poking his finger at me. i rolled my eyes and stood back up, walking around him, pushing my arms under his and lifting him to his feet.

"woah."

he said a little stunned that i had just dead lifted him off the floor.

"have you been working out?"

he questioned as i turned him and put his arm around my shoulders again.

"yeah, its called moving five drunk toddlers around."

he sent me a sleepy smile as we finally made it down the hall.

"that sounds like a lot of work."

he said matter of factly, dropping the bottle i didnt know he had onto the soft carpet of his bedroom floor.

"you have no idea."

i grumbled as i leaned into him and pushed him to the bed with my shoulder, watching him roll onto his side and his hand drop to his stomach.

"oop, nope, hold on."

he said standing quickly and dropping in front of the trash can by his nightstand. i looked to the ceiling as he threw up, cringing at it. i looked back down when he inhaled deeply and he was already on his way back to standing.

"okay sir, time to brush your teeth now."

he whined as i helped usher him to the bathroom.

"do i have to?"

he protsested as i squirted the toothpaste onto the brush and wet it, handing it to him.

"yes, if you dont i will."

he dropped his shoulder and stuck the brush in his mouth, moving it around and leaning in to look at himself in the mirror. as he pushed it around his gums he grinned widely at himself, the bubbles around his mouth making him look like a clown. i shook my head at him.

"dont forget your tongue."

i reminded and he turned to me to stick it out, closing his eyes and brushing down it.

"thank you."

i said, crossing my arms over my chest and he bent down and spit into the sink, holding his head under the faucet so he could rinse his mouth out. when he stood back up he sent me another sleepy smile, dropping the toothbrush onto the counter.

"now what?"

he asked like a giddy child. i placed my hand firmly at his back and pushed him back out into the room.

"now you go to bed."

i said a little hopeful. he pouted at me in return.

"aww but y/n i dont want to go to bed. the night is still young and so are we."

he said, plopping down on the side of the mattress.

"we'll still be young in the morning when you get up. in a pain and possibly hungover but young none the less."

he frowned at me as i moved to take the denim jacket off his arms.

"do i get to take your clothes off?"

he asked, wiggling his eye brows at me.

"no, now take your shirt off, i dont even want to know what it is you have down the front of you."

he looked down at it confused before shrugging and doing as told.

"anything else you want me to remove?"

he said reaching out for my hand and holding it, looking up at me intently.

"shoes, off."

i demanded and he smiled widely at me, kicking them off.

"pants too?"

he said seductively. i rolled my eyes.

"only if you dont want to wear jeans to bed but you had better have underwear of some kind on this time izzy stradlin or i swear to god."

he laughed before standing up and undoing his pants, and there it was, of course he wasnt wearing any. i groaned and turned around.

"oh come on y/n its not like you havent seen it before, you practically lived here for three months."

i shook my head and went to his dresser.

"i know that izzy but that doesnt mean you have to just have it out all the time."

i shook my head and grabbed him some underwear and pajama bottoms, tossing them his way. i didnt want to look but it was kind of hard to miss, he was standing fully nude now in the middle of his bedroom, hands on his hips in fully glory.

"get dressed."

i demanded, making him laugh again before doing as told. i crossed my arms over my chest as he fumbled around to get dressed, plopping back down onto the bed when he was done.

"better?"

i asked a little annoyed, walking to him and trying to tuck him in. getting him under the covers was more of a task than i thought it would be.

"wanna join?"

he asked, raising a brow and smirking at me.

"no thank you, i have my own bed in this house."

he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. i caught myself before i could fall into him and was face to face now. he smelled like vodka and mint.

"please? itll help me sleep better knowing youre here."

he said, pouting. i sighed.

"fine, but im only doing this to make sure you dont vomit in your sleep and kill yourself."

he smiled widely before scooting over and letting me in, me kicking my shoes off first and readjusting the dress i had on. before i knew what was happening he was snuggled into my side, face pushing into my neck and arm around my waist. my eyes got wide as he got comfortable.

"iz?"

he hummed in response.

"what are you doing?"

he just shushed me. a minute later he was snoring softly and i was left there in the dimly lit room defeated.

°°°°°°°°°

when i woke up i could smell something burning, making me jolt upright. izzy wasnt in the bed next to me like he was last night and it was only ten thirty. i found that odd given that we didnt even go to bed till almost four. i stood quickly, flattening my dress down and making my way down the hall to the kitchen. i stood in the doorway dumbfounded at the sight in front of me. there was izzy, smoking a cigarette and cooking breakfast. bacon and pancakes by the smell of it.

"morning sunshine."

he said fairly chipper, taking a sip from his mug. i raised a brow, pushing my bra strap back up onto my shoulder.

"morning."

i said confused. i stood and watched him flip the pancakes.

"you just gonna stand there all morning or are you gonna come eat?"

he half laughed at me, looking up with light eyes.

"uh yeah, sure."

i said slowly, trudging to him and taking the plate he offered up.

"drink?"

he asked, picking up the second mug that was on the counter. i took it without think and went to the bar. as soon as i took a sip i cringe.

"what the hell is this izzy?!"

i asked setting the plate down.

"orange juice and vodka."

he said matter of factly and i just sighed in defeat. no wonder he was so happy. that asshole still had alcohol in his system and was just adding more.

"you are gonna feel like shit later."

i noted, walking to the sink and pouring it down the drain. he sent me a wicked smile and cheersed me before taking a drink.

"i promise its nothing but coffee for me after this."

i sent him a disapproving look.

"sure it is."

he finished stacking pancakes onto his plate and joined me at the counter, sitting in the bar stool beside me.

"so, how did you sleep?"

he asked, resting his leg against mine comfortably.

"fine."

i said shrugging. he sent me a weird.

"you were in bed with me and just slept fine?"

i laughed at him and shook my head, pouring syrup on top of my food.

"well it wasnt exactly fun. you were so drunk it was a task to even get you into pajamas, much like last time you werent wearing anything under your jeans which i dont appreciate."

i said sternly and he smiled to himself, nodding like he'd accomplished something.

"yeah i forgot about that."

he said proudly. i rolled my eyes, taking a bite.

"well youre wearing some now and thats what really matters."

i said and he laughed.

"no im not."

i looked up at him with wide eyes.

"when i got up to pee earlier i realized i was wearing them and took them off, fuck that."

i sighed deeply but didnt respond. i just shook my head and kept eating.

"do you like it?"

he asked and i raised a brow.

"breakfast i mean."

i nodded.

"yes its very good."

he smiled widely at me.

"great cause its my apology for last night."

i looked at him confused.

"i know im a handful when drunk, hell i know we all are. you always take care us though, so i guess its a thank you too."

i smiled at him.

"thanks izzy."

he leaned over and nudged me with his elbow.

"dont mention it."

[alwaysanotherrainbow]

my boyfriend never texts first

Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?

relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)

warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!

____________________________________________________

Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.

No matter. Remus could cope.

May 1:

8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?

May 2:

9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard

Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:

3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.

June 2:

7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))

Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:

12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]

Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)

“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.

“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.

“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”

“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.

They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”

“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”

Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”

"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”

“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.

June 12:

12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH

July 12:

3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]

August 14:

6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo

August 30:

2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di

September 28:

2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do

September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!

October 3:

1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows

October 23:

9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.

November 9:

11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.

November 10:

12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:

10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.

December 21

8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.

[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]

10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first

The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.

“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”

“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”

“Right, I... I listen to it too.”

“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”

“You looked at the messages?”

“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”

“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”

“I really think I should tell you this in person.”

“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”

He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”

Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.

“I think he was going to ask for you to....”

“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”

“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”

“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”

“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”

God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.

But then Roman had died.

He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.

“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”

The line went dead in his hands.

Remus held himself and wept.

December 28:

12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.

January 1:

12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman

Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.

[modern-oedipus]

I’m tired and stressed and I didn’t have any more strength left to study or read or watch or interact but I also couldn’t sleep  because I drank too much coffee so gues what I did? I posted first chapter haha. I didn’t rewrite from stratch so it may suck. I edited a lot though. 

anyway skgsdsdlg so there is that. now i will sleep. i am so stressed out it is so funny. writing didnt help at all but i did it anyway so i could get tired and now i sl e e p

[writeouttaluck]

Here is a story about my friend getting hit by a bus and then haunting said bus, per her request.

(this probably has a whole lot of spelling mistakes and stuff, but thats because i didnt feel like editing it. enjoy)

Two older men sat in their chairs in front of the bus depot. From their spot, they overlooked all the buses lined up beside each other. Today was a hot one, but otherwise, it was a pretty standard day.

All of a sudden they were both alerted to the sound of a Diesel engine. They glanced at the entrance to find a bus driving in pretty fast. The front of it was covered in something red and the driver behind the wheel looked really panicky.

When the bus stopped and the engine was shut off, the driver swung open the door and nearly sprinted out of it. He ran directly for the hose and bucket outside.

One of the older men just sipped their beer and watched, the other picked up a news paper. Neither of them seemed real concerned.

The young bus driver ran back over with the bucket full of water. In a quick motion, he threw its contents onto the front of the bus and started scrubbing the area with a sponge like his life depended on it. One of the old men set down their beer on the pavement and got up from their seat. He walked over to see what the bus driver was up to.

As he got closer, he quickly realized that the red stuff on the front was not quite what he imagined. It was thick, and syrupy, and it just swirled around on the surface instead of picking up.

The bus driver caught the old man watching him and in a quick motion, he spun around and faced him. He looked terrified.

The old man was still nonchalant about all this.

“What happened?” The old man asked.

“Oh, boss, it was horrible! I-I was doing my scheduled run around the city when all of a sudden this girl just ran out of nowhere!” The bus driver could hardly get the words out, he was shaking so bad.

“Ah, ok. I dont need to hear anymore. Well shit. Its been awhile since this happened…”

“Am I going to jail?!” The bus driver asked in fear.

“What? Of course not. Go grab the pressure washer from out back and use a lot of soap. Blood doesnt come off easy.”

The bus driver stopped for a second and looked at the old man in confusion. Was he crazy?

“S-sir… that woman was killed!”

The old man shook his head.

“She either killed herself or it was natural selection...did anyone see you?” He asked.

“I uh….I dont think so?”

“Great,” the old man started, “clean your bus and continue your run.”

…

It took longer than expected for Terry, the bus driver, to clean his issued vehicle. It was about an hour and a half washing job, and he was still pretty shaken up over it. He just couldnt get the image out of his head.

Like any other morning, Terry drove his bus down down hill to meet his first stop. It was a pretty quiet stop as not many people really used it. most people that lived in that area either drove or walked to work and other places. The bus just wasnt needed as much. Even though the stop seemed to be pretty empty, he figured he would stop there just incase someone was right by or running late. It happened sometimes.

What didnt usually happen though, was someone running into the street. Terry’s heart sank as he watched this small woman run directly in his line of drive. He slammed on the brakes though he knew he wouldnt be able to stop in time.

Everything slowed down as he watched the girl. She looked up at him from the road and smiled wide. She even moved her arms outwards like she was about to hug someone before it happened.

The bus hit her and her body flew out to the sidewalk, a crumpled heap of nothing. Blood had exploded all over his windsheild.

“O-Oh my god!” he yelled.

He knew that if he stuck around that he would get in trouble so he did what all people do when theyre scared and ran. He drove down the rest of the way and made a beeline for the bus depot.

The whole drive there he was gagging and crying and shaking and pretty much having a breakdown.

“W-what the fuck! What the FUCK!”

He shook his head and decided that before he went back to work that he was gonna get a cup of coffee. He hopped off his bus once more and went inside the building for the bus depot. The old man sat back and was doing something on the company computer. He looked away from the screen and watched Terry walk across to the coffee maker.

“Be careful about the coffee maker today. Its been a lot hotter than usual today. I think somethings wrong with it.”

“Yeah, sure” Terry responded.

Terry drank a lot of coffee so he was sure that it wasnt that bad. He grabbed a syrofoam cup and poured his coffee in before stiring in some suger and popping a lid on. He grabbed the coffee and actually started to feel the heat through the cup. It burned his hand a bit. Damn, maybe the old man was right. He wrapped some napkins around the cup before picking it up again. As he turned to walk out, he faced the old man.

“Well! Back to work!” He said sounding exhausted already.

The old man chuckled a bit.

“You will do fine, kid”

…

Terry was back in his bus and driving to his scheduled spots. He had the hot coffee sitting in his cupholder with the tab up so it could cool off. If it was too hot to touch, it was probably too hot to drink.

He went to stop on another hill across town. He slowed down before his brakes shuddered and his cup holder that extended outwards, broke free. Terry flinched as he expected boiling hot liquid to burst into his lap. But when non came, he glanced at the cup holder.

It had broke away completely. But his coffee cup and the napkins wrapped around it, stayed levitating in place.

He looked at it in wonder, trying to figure how tf his coffee was floating.

All of a sudden, he felt a cold chill run down his spine and he shivered. He grabbed the coffee cup out of the air. And like that, the cold went away.

Terry spoke out loud to himself.

“Well that was fuckin weird…”

…

Later on in the day, he was driving his bus with a few passengers scattered throughout. There was an old lady, a mother with her kid, and a teenage boy with his hood up listening to his headphones.

It was rush hour now and the streets were pretty busy. Terry was already behind schedule, but he had been rushing to make up for it all day. He even cut a few corners and took side streets when he could.

At the moment, he was speeding up the street. Not too fast, but not exactly safe either. He was going about 50 when a big pick up truck pulled out of an alleyway and right in front of him. In a panic, Terry swung the wheel to the left in an attempt to avoid an accident. As he started left, a car in the left lane beside him was almost shoved off the road and into a high curb. He quickly realized that there was no way out of this when he felt the cold again.

The wheel was yanked out of his grip and his first thought was that he had lost his power steering.

However, as he fought the steering wheel that seemed to be steering itself, the bus swung around the pick up and past the car beside him in a near miss of a maneuver.

When the bus straightened out, the cold faded away and he regained control of the steering wheel.

Once he realized that everything was fine, he looked in his overhead mirror to check on his passengers.

“Is everybody alright?”He yelled to the back.

The mom, while she looked a bit frightened, nodded her head quickly while the old lady just smiled. The teenager in the back didnt appear to realize what had just happened at all.

Terry let out a sigh of relief and kept on his way, making sure to stay the speed limit.

…

This was the part that Terry always hated about his job. The last stop was near a really bad neighborhood and, considering he was about an hour behind, it was now dark outside. He gave out a long sigh and drove through the area. Cars sat on cinderblocks, garbage fires raged about in the alleyways. Most of the streetlights had that old, orange glow to them. Most of them flickered.

The bus stop was right ahead and Terry noticed a group of young gentlemen sitting on by, watching him pull up intently. Something about the way they watched him come to a stop unsettled Terry. He didnt have a great feeling about this.

He stopped the bus and opened the door and the gentlemen climbed on. However, instead of moving to a seat, they stopped up near Terry.

Before he could say anything, one of them whipped out a large knife and aimed at him.

“Close the door and drive, fat man”

Terry, feeling now obligated to follow the mans request now that there was a large sharp object aimed at his neck, did exactly as he was told. As soon as the bus started moving again, One of the men moved to the money box and tried opening it.

“Hey bus man, open yo fuckin box here”

Terry now started sweating as he realized he cant.

“Uh, S-sorry fellas! I cant do that. Its locked and the only key for it is at the depot.” He spoke trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“Bullshit!” the 3rd man in the back said.

The guy with the knife tapped the blade on the box.

“Open this box, before i open you.”

Thats when Terry felt a cold chill for the 3rd time today. Only this time, It seemed to be coming from the door instead.

The blade in the mans hand suddenly bent itself all the way to the left, before snapping off completley and skating towards the back of the bus.

“What the fuck?” the Criminal said.

“Im tired of fucking around!” the 2nd one said. He drew his gun and aimed it at the lock box before he felt something hit his wrist hard.

“Fuck!!” he yelled in pain as he dropped his pistol.

The third man watched as all of this continued while he stood against the door, still on the stairs.

The door whipped open and he felt something grab his tank top from behind. He was suddenly thrown from the moving bus. The other two men turned to look at what was happening before the bus braked hard. The two men were thrown against the glass of the windsheild. Then, the gas got stomped down and the two men were flung into the metal bars behind them, getting knocked out cold.

They slumped to the floor of the bus.

Terry watched as they were flung out of the bus like their friend before. The doors slammed shut behind them.

At this, Terry wanted to know what the fuck was going on with his bus.

He drove up ahead a bit before pulling into an alleyway and stopping. He stood out of his seat and flipped on the overhead lights.

“Ok, What the fuck is going on here”

He felt like an idiot when he got no immediate response.

“I know theres something here. Dont play dumb with me. Ill have this fucking bus scrapped!”

Again, no response.

Terry was about to give up and drive back to the depot when a mysterious fog formed from nothing in his bus. The temperature dropped drastically. It wasn't just a cold chill, it was freezing.

The windows fogged over, blocking his sight to the outside world. He started rubbing his shoulders as he began to regret his thirst for knowledge.

A large puff of smoke plumed from the back of the bus and a figure moved through it.

Terry was one step from attempting a jump out of his windshield before he gave the figure a closer look.

The figure was the girl from this morning! The one that ran into his bus!

“Ayyy, what it do.” She spoke waving off the fog with her spector hand.

“Its fucking smokey in here, what is up with that”

Terry felt a mixture of fear and confusion at the sight before him.

“Y-y-youre t-t-t-that g-girl-!”

She cut him off real quick.

“Yeah, heh, sorry about that. I didnt realize what kind of mess my body would leave like that”

Terry was 90% sure at this point that he had finally lost his marbles.

“Anyways,” She continued on, “Im a ghost now, and since you were able to help me end my shitty existence like that, I want to help you”

Terry gained a bit of confidence at these words, for whatever reason.

“Help me with what?” He inquired.

“With your job, dude!”

Terry stood for a moment and thought about it.

“So let me get this straight, You want to help me with my job because you were able to kill yourself using my bus? Is that right?”

The ghost, unnecessarily leaned her shoulder on one of the metal poles in the bus.

“Yeah, thats pretty much it.”

“Huh...:” Terry thought aloud.

They both sat in silence for a minute before Terry shook his head.

“Wait, wait a second. How do i know youre really a ghost and that this isnt just some wild guilt hallucination?”

To answer Terry’s question, The ghost walked forward and moved straight through Him. Terry grabbed onto his own body and twisted in horror before The ghost walked back through the same way.

“Alright! I believe you! Enough of that!” He yelled.

“So, we got a deal?” The ghost asked as she raised her hand up to him in proposition.

He grabbed her hand, somehow and shook it.

“Whats your name, anyways?” Terry asked the spector.

“Jada” the ghost responded.

[froggy-s-thought-s]

#2 - 4/6/2021

my alarm woke me up at the ripe hour of 6:30 because i didnt want to wake up at 5:30 am today and i couldnt focus in class at all, i had my usual classes and then i drank what is probably more caffeine then i probably should had; i made myself a cappuccino or whatever the hell i made was- it was a little bit of coffee and a lot of milk because i dont like straight coffee- anywayy i also had soda and i think i may may not still be on a slight caffeine high? im not sure

as i said yesterday my friend’s back which makes my brain go brr because they’ve been gone since march 26th which was the friday before last which is because she stayed with a family member who doesnt have very good wifi so im really happy about that!!

i literally did no work, but i did vibe today so thats nice.. i did some art which were some concepts and little thumb nails of some random characters i’ve been thinking about for a bit which was this lady and she has magic and is a major protector of women and she sends wolves and dogs with onto the woman’s desired man (or man’s livestock if so desired or not on the man but just have it just prowl around as a warning) so like.. its a woman and she has a big dog and she kills some bad men sometimes which i wish was real-

i also made a really dumb meme because i was/am sleep deprived, caffeinated, gay and a dumbass so like:

I also made a femboy fox because i want to learn how to better shade stuff like fur and clothing so like.. thats a thing..

and i think one of the people on my server has pulled a fucky wucky for the five millionth time? possibly?? they were kind of a dick to one of the other people on the server and possibly still is? they’ve done this before and we’ve already gone over this and they already know they’re on thin ice so like.. idk what the fuck is going on with that?

the person whom is a better friend of mine said they’re not freinds anymore but they’ve done this before and they have reciepts of them talking shit or whatever but i havent read it because i dont fucking feel like it :-)

so anyway.. thats a thing.. hopefully stuff starts to settle so i can kick them off and we can discuss this off of the server and i can finally properly ban them so no one adds them back again and i can tell their friend whom they shit talked before having them add them back-

and ugh i wanna devolve and be a monke yknow? good news is that this could be like last time which was a bit worse and the time before that which was also worse... im going to finish the 2003 clone wars series that is up rn on D+ i might also rewatch TFAWS after that if i remember that i can do that?

have a lovely day and i might edit this to add more if i have more to add later

[sourscreamsnowstorm]

Day 2!

Today was good! I went for my normal daily walk, and had a healthy lunch beforehand. I did more of my youtube workouts than normal, and I’m going to stretch more later. I’m really hungry today! So I might be over calories today. I usually let myself go over once a week to keep from binging. One day won’t kill ya!

Exercise- Walk (75 minutes) Pilates (30 minutes)

Food:  Overnight oats with protein milk and nutella (contains oats, chia seeds, flax, a spoon of yogurt) Coffee with protein milk Quesadilla made with Mediterranean wraps and cheddar cheese Sautéed broccolini and carrots  4 tesco brownie bites Lucozade Revive Gnocci with tomato and spinach sauce Chicken breast 8 tesco brownie bites ...the rest of the brownie bites and a sleeve of mentos fruit

I’m hungry today! It’s a struggle to stay under. I’m stopping myself at the brownie bites for dessert after dinner but I really want a lot more food. EDIT: I ate the rest! I drank a lot of water beforehand, but didnt want to be peeing all night, so i let myself eat them. I’ve noticed that some days with my thyroid condition that I want to eat everything in sight, and other days I don’t want to eat at all and it’s a struggle to get enough down. Today is a hungry day, and it’s a hard line to walk between feeding my body enough and not giving in to an irrational feeling to binge more. I know I ate enough, but it still feels bad to be hungry! I get through this by drinking a lotttt of water. When I’m having a hungry day, I drink a lot of water since the only thing that kills the hungry feeling is being uncomfortably full. It’ll come back as the water processes, but it’s better than being ravenous all day! As always, I’ll edit this post tomorrow with the final deficit numbers. 

It’s midnight and I’m still awake so numbers update! I’m not at my desired deficit, but any deficit is a good deficit! (FitBit is giving me the red bar for my cals in, because my deficit is 1000. So I had too much to get that deficit, but the one I got is still good!)

Burned: 3050 Ate: 3765 Deficit: 715

[remeadower]

12/2/2020

im writing down what i ate because i try to think about it and it gets too jumbled

breakfast: peanut noodles with lots of vegetables, latte (probably had about a quarter cup of milk in it lol. i drank a lot of coffee.)

lunch: 2 mozzarella balls (i had a couple sips of orange soda and gave the rest to my bro. didnt wanna gain weight)

dinner is yet to be seen.. will edit the post later.

i have to lose weight to look good in the dress im wearing to this wedding or ill literally sob ok

[shytiff]

Small Oct Wins

1 - DL, its bts week on fallon 🥰🥰also chuseok, which means content >>>, cicil dk ikk, rapat sponsor and talked and raged with regen abt mpi and manhwa lmao, group call shiko

2 - DL, finished 4 dk ikk wow!!, read dear door sampe ujung

3 - DL, symptoms ipd WHILE trying to losten to resus cairan fkdigital and i failed to listen to fkdigital lmao in the beginning they talked abt different fluids, my kompre is in Nov!! Can take a slight breath of air. Cicil kompre

4 - DL, symptoms, ordered krispy face (tasted so so), started reading sign, its so hilarious but the antagonist just doesnt make sense. too dysfunctional

5 - DL, ea simulation (got cushing syndrome, yay us for rosc!), forgot my scrub pants so i borrowed from indah, the way back homd (PP motor) was hooot, cicil banifidi, talked with ara for 1,5 hrs abt mental health and past traumas lmaoo

6 - DL, cicil geri, read raise ga wa tanin ii

7 - formatif geri, originally meant to go to puri with atikah to get seirockya, but its closed. So we walked to lippo, got genki sushi takeaway, walked to carrefour where we parked, and on the way back atikah had this sudden idea of eating @ taman 45. So we did. We reminisced old memories while eating rice bowls and sushi at park. Sounded pretty great except its taman 45 lmaoooo. Took a nap at atikahs place and then i went back. Tried matcha cookie by Chips Chat Lexley, its too crumbly :(( the taste was so so

8 - was sooo drained i dunno why. Slept and lazed around until 11-ish after i managed to shower and eat. Rip stamina. DL. Formatif with stella manda, dr asti and dr fuady. Digorenggg. the dark chocolate cookie tasted quite good. Finally a cookie that did not fail

9 - helped ical and ara for simul kompre, e, DL, played among us with candra and solid, paused the game to do formatif ea lmao. i need to studyy aaa

10 - DL, my body felt tooo drained from 1 (one) exercise lol. Symptoms. Ordered mujigae and janjiw caramel latte 1L because 10 10 promo. lazed all afternoon. planned to run because it’s cloudy but wacana is life. Watched MOTS On:E with racheel. Gladi resik nemo. Saw hakken cosplay’s IG live. among us. i was an impostor with cibe (participant: 10) and i somehow won lmaoo. edited 2 pld article so i finally caught up! just need to wait some more articles from reporter

11 - DL, symptoms, wasted my time rereading vampire knight for the n-th time

12 - DL, QA KMKP, read banifidi while drinking janjiw caramel latte and on god coffee rly helps me to focus and not get sleepy, talked with ara abt her session with dr jiemi (emotion vs cognition)

13 - DL, there’s no class today uye, drank caramel latte janjiw at 11am and yall i somehow became productive. finished reading banifidi, 2Padi. 

14 - Became captain at simul today, kasus HPP, i forgot to put O2 wtf :((((, bought 2 1-L package from sbux dm after school, and with +15k you get green tea frappe so i sat there for a bit for DT, felt a bit better (like im a normal functioning person???? like i dont feel sluggish). cicil IKK, passed lvl 4 DL

15 - DL, nemo as 2nd operator, vanilla latte nyom, thats all folks unfortunately

16 - DL, theres no schedule today, woke up at 10 am, vanilla latte and cicil PT, cicil IKK (only did a bit today), among us and i was the impostor 4 times lmaoo

17 - symptoms, in the soop 7, e, read on/off its too hilarious!! Finished 1 sitasi kompre

18 - last in the soop ep :(, e, DL, tugas kasus harian geri

19 - DL, the table i bought has arrived!, cicil IKK, joined ukmppd course, started at 18:30, its now 22:36,  still 14 questions to go... 

20 - DL, qa discussion with group, bought some plastic shoe boxes online, its cheap and it is great, bcs my shoes used to sit there in plastic bags, organized some stuff in my room for a bit!! my metal rack looks less messy yay. dk ikk, les

21 - Started my day early (finished shower by 7:30), DL, finished 1 ltm ikk and 1 sitasi PT, JK went live in youtube with his long hair and undercut, and literally afterwards YG came on vlive playing guitar. Its a good day indeed :”) its cloudy today, just a perfect shared to listen to youtube’s lofi study playlist. Barely paid attention in today's les, i rly need to reread the forensic one

22 - DL, formatted qa docx, looong qa zoom, read the dops form, tidied up my stuff for tomorrow and while waiting for les the dumbass me didnt realize that the mic is on and i muttered "masker n95..." lmaoooo. Paid attention in les. Took a shower while leaving the zoom (q&a sesh) and turns out its finished at 22:45. Yalll the tutors dedication though

23 - simul, waited around a bit, bought halo bowl from grab since im at school all day, tried chicken pesto. made me feel full, tasted like a typical "healthy food", not too oily. OK in the afternoon, did not get dops (not surprised), was today years old when i found out you can park motorbike beside gedung putih. Went home while listening to kuliah guru besar. Passed out in the 2nd part of les (bedah). That adds more of my course debt lmao

24 - Im trying out habitica now so DL documentations will be moved theree, trying to add the habit of reading quran. watched in the soop behind and dalbang, watched the social dilemma halfway (message: careful of being the social media’s product), ate nayam, slept again and woke up at 5 pm, made status anes, les (the freshest ive been so far. maybe because its saturday night, there’s only about 25+ participating until the end from the usual 50+)

25 - woke up early and showered, slept again, ate breakfast at 12 pm with banana and 2 brownies i need sugaar, reviewed forensics (les), made half of ltm ikk wow im kind of proud, submitted asinkronus, eval nemo

26 - icu and simul, the way back home was pleasantly cloudy, slept and woke for les, read anti PT and oh my assisant since i cant sleep during the night

27 - did ikk ppt, read TO SOLID answers (i got 65 and i feel sooo stupid, but the grade somehow changed to 66 which means pass), slepttt during the afternoon, dk ikk was pending bcs dr Indri was still doing surgery at 18:00. Les

28 - Felt like doing nothing. Watched the latest dalbang, PT briefing, dk ikk, les. Thats it omgggg my time keeps flying away

29 - Started my day early (6:30am) since i slept all the time :):):)), finished 1 ltm ikk, tried truffle belly, the nanban one. good enough and the rice is not too much which is nice. i dont rly know how the truffle oil’s supposed to smell (ive tried tubo before but i still have no idea). chose wahana choice for MPI (bismillah!!), finished reviewing TO SOLID 1, les

30 - it took me a whole day to read 1 (one) sitasi PT but im still proud nonetheless, how did time flyyyy tf. You’d think that this 5 day “holiday” i would learn a lot for kompre (haven’t started) and quickly checked off my to do list. for les i pulled the table near my bed so i was half listening half reading Private Lesson while laying down lmao

31 - checked 2 acads to do (i feel like when i do things in advance there will be stuff that make me go "ah tau gt nanti aja"), bingeing romee strijd's YouTube and its miracle i dont feel like shit after watching it (they literally go do amsterdam from sg to put their bags and then theyll go to miami?!), afternoon nap coz i cqnt bring myself to study kompre, cicil kompre bismillah.docx, last day of les (im not strong enough to follow until the end, bailed halfway), read a bit of blood link lmao, WTF ITS NOV 15 MINS FROM NOW :((( (writing this after sheetmasking, its 23:42) still not prepared for ukmppd kompre God Help Me

And thats it for Oct! I feel like there were some terrible mood phases, some ok ones, and those rare days when im up and about and refreshed and feel like doing things (most days im a sloth). Hope to do (and feel) better in Nov

[delighthq]

did you see THOMAS DOHERTY, SAHAR LUNA, JEON JUNGKOOK, KIM TAEHYUNG, JUNG CHAEYON, and JENNIE KIM around town? oh, my bad. it’s just THEODORE, JUNO, ROBIN, HARPER, NOEUL, and ROWAN ! i hope they have their maps on them, getting lost is gonna be tricky! *edit!! subplots cave linked a, c, and d, a slot for the ghost buster app.

[ thomas doherty • cismale • he/him. ] — welcome to despondent, ██, [ theodore hanson ] ! you’ve been here [ twenty-four years ] in the [ twenty-four ] years you’ve been alive, right ? well go on, tell us what you think of the town. don’t be shy. “[ This town is bullshit. I don’t think anyone even understands how wrong this place is. If it wasn’t for my kid then I wouldn’t be here. This town took everything from me and I won’t let my ex help the town take my kid too. I’ll be here until I get custody and can bring my kid to be raised somewhere safe. ]” is that so? well we’ve heard you can be [ genuine & apologetic ] but also [ quick-tempered & frustrating ] so maybe that has something to do with it! we’ve also heard that people associate you with [ eye rolling, cigarette smoke, showing up too late with flowers, 2AM drunk texts, holding back tears, heavy guilt pooling in the pit of your stomach ] either way, we’re sure that the town is treating you well. if not, they will eventually. just give it a few decades — and don’t forget to pay respects to the old and new gods. [ arin • she/her • pst • cave linked a,b or c ]

[ sahar luna • female • she/her. ] — welcome to despondent, ██, [ juno naciri ] ! you’ve been here [ eight months ] in the [ nineteen ] years you’ve been alive, right ? well go on, tell us what you think of the town. don’t be shy. “[ i don’t have too much to say yet, only this: everything that i typically feel is somehow greatly amplified here. could be a blessing or a curse, who knows. ]”is that so? well we’ve heard you can be [ + piquant & intuitive ] but also [ - glacial & vulnerable ] so maybe that has something to do with it! we’ve also heard that people associate you with [ psychedelic photoshop edits, stick and poke tattoos of stars and planets & a dark yet sparkling sense of humor. ] either way, we’re sure that the town is treating you well. if not, they will eventually. just give it a few decades — and don’t forget to pay respects to the old and new gods. [ peach • she/her • est • medium for the ghostbusters. ]

[ jeon jungkook • cismale • he/him. ] — welcome to despondent, ██, [ robin kim ] ! you’ve been here [ six years ] in the [ 22 ] years you’ve been alive, right ? well go on, tell us what you think of the town. don’t be shy. “[ i mean it’s not so bad. you get used to it after a while. i’ve forgotten what used to bother me so much about this place. but have you seen michael cera? i wanna get his autograph. ]” is that so? well we’ve heard you can be [ enthusiastic & communicative ] but also [ inconsistent & indecisive ] so maybe that has something to do with it! we’ve also heard that people associate you with [ turtlenecks, chewed pens & a collection of half drank glasses of surge ] either way, we’re sure that the town is treating you well. if not, they will eventually. just give it a few decades — and don’t forget to pay respects to the old and new gods. [ cj • he/they • cst • cave linked ]

[ kim taehyung • cismale • he/him. ] — welcome to despondent, ██, harper lee ! you’ve been here seven years in the twenty two years you’ve been alive, right ? well go on, tell us what you think of the town. don’t be shy.“its hard to know what i think. a lot of things are cloudy right now. i think im just confused. i think the owl that stole my laundry is nice. i just needed dryer sheets. he didnt need to take it all. ”is that so? well we’ve heard you can be goofy and loyal but also gullible and anxious so maybe that has something to do with it! we’ve also heard that people associate you with laffy taffy, wrenches, ripped and stained jeans, coffee stained dnd character sheets. either way, we’re sure that the town is treating you well. if not, they will eventually. just give it a few decades — and don’t forget to pay respects to the old and new gods. [ j • she/they • eat • muse d cave linked]

[ jung chaeyeon • cisfemale • she/her. ] — welcome to despondent, ██, [ noeul cho ] ! you’ve been here [ eight years ] in the [ twenty years ] years you’ve been alive, right ? well go on, tell us what you think of the town. don’t be shy.“[ i mean — i remember there was one time a gaunt clerk’s eyes seem to glow red whenever i looked at him from the corner of my eye, i tried not to look at him again.  all i wanted was mint chocolate ice cream .. maybe he didn’t have it. ]”is that so? well we’ve heard you can be [ vitriolic & assertive ] but also [ belligerent & debonair ] so maybe that has something to do with it! we’ve also heard that people associate you with[ old worn out books, dirty laundry, silent tears at night, vintage cardigans, broken lipsticks, mutiple chapsticks . ]either way, we’re sure that the town is treating you well. if not, they will eventually. just give it a few decades — and don’t forget to pay respects to the old and new gods. [ j • she/her • tz est ]

[ jennie kim • cis female • she/her. ] — welcome to despondent, ██, [ rowan moon ] ! you’ve been here [ 1 year ] in the [ 21 ] years you’ve been alive, right ? well go on, tell us what you think of the town. don’t be shy.“[ i really love it here, the town has everything you could ever need! it’s a little unnerving at times but it’s really grown on me. ]”is that so? well we’ve heard you can be [ + amiable & confident ] but also [ - arrogant & manipulative ] so maybe that has something to do with it! we’ve also heard that people associate you with [ the smell of freshly baked bread, scrunchies, & loud music. ]either way, we’re sure that the town is treating you well. if not, they will eventually. just give it a few decades — and don’t forget to pay respects to the old and new gods. [ dea • she/her • gmt-6 ]

[ushijimawakaflockaflame-blog]

heyyy its me the winger ask!,, sorry i didnt see the rules😖😖 anyways can you please do: kuroo, bokuto, oikawa, terushima, noya, and tendō🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻

AN: It’s still winter in the midwest, s’all good. 

• w i n t e r • h e a d • c a n o n s •

kuroo:

Even though his hair is termed as “bedhead”, he actually takes a lot of time to carefully and precisely fixate all his little spikes. For this reason, like Kageyama, he does not like wearing hats or even ear muffs, and opts for a knit red scarf.

Likes his coffee dark roast and asks for it to be extra hot so it lasts throughout his walk to school.

He is someone who overheats easily, even in the frigid winters, so he doesn’t wear too many layers. He’ll wear a sweater and a North Face at most. His mom was so worried he’d get sick by just wearing that that she had to buy him a winter jacket with those fluffy hoods. He’ll wear it just to make her stop nagging, but little does she know, he’s only wearing a t-shirt under it.

His Christmas decorations have been up since Black Friday

LOVES the Holiday-scented limited edition candles they sell at fragrance stores. His favorite scent is spiced cinnamon apple because it reminds him of Kenma.

Addicted to those Pillsbury holiday sugar cookies.

bokuto:

Actually doesn’t mind hats! His favorite as beanies, but they can’t have the poof ball on them. He thinks people think his hair is cute when it’s pushed down a little by the hat.

Orders peppermint mocha because he’s basic.

He hates gingerbread anything because one time as a kid, he accidentally stepped on his cousin’s gingerbread house and they cried and yelled at him saying that he killed their gingerbread family and since then, he’s had a taste aversion to it.

Accidentally drank alcoholic apple cider at Kuroo’s house one time and puked in his toilet.

Takes a picture of every dog he sees that’s wearing a sweater and slippers.

His favorite time of the day in the winter is when after it snows and then the sun sets because even in the darkest time of the night, the day is still pink from the reflection of the snow.

oikawa:

After practice, he enjoys taking the long way home because the street lights and trees are decorated with white christmas lights.

Always whines and pouts about not having a significant other to spend the holiday joy with.

Always receives texts from his fans the day of Christmas, so he leaves his phone on silent or turns it off for the whole day.

His favorite part about the holidays is that he gets to spend lots of time helping Takeru build gingerbread houses and baking cookies for Santa.

Is someone who is always cold. Even if he has four layers of clothing and super heatech gloves and underwear, he is still cold. He wears both a beanie and earmuffs.

Never ever wears his glasses unless it’s absolutely necessary because he hates it when they fog up when he enters a warmer, moister room.

Wears leggings.

terushima:

Was voted most likely to jump naked into freshly fallen snow.

One time drank hot chocolate without blowing on it first and it burned so much he had to remove his tongue piercing.

Is the type of person to scream into the void about how cold it is the minute he steps outside.

Is also the type of person to eat ice cream right after he screams.

His dream date is set in the winter time; he and his crush would eating somewhere, they would get hot chocolate, walk around the city where it’s lit with Christmas tree lights, and would end it with a snowball fight and a kiss from the loser.

Likes to shove snow down his team mate’s shirts and gets bruises after all the punches he gets.

Splurges on bath bombs and saves at least three hours on Sunday to relax in the tub. His favorite is the Dragon’s Egg bath bomb.

nishinoya:

Loves scarves!!! Owns like seven scarves, but like five of them are black.

It’s his life-long dream to kiss someone under the mistletoe. He wants to save it for someone extremely special. Her cherishes it as much as he would cherish his first time.

Wears a different ugly sweater the week of Christmas.

Does the spicy ramen challenge with Tanaka a lot. He can’t handle it, so he runs outside shirtless chugging milk. He almost always catches a cold.

Is that one person that gets the whole school sick, but luckily he carries a family pack size of cough drops.

His family does those cheesy Christmas cards and sends them to relatives all over the world.

Likes to bring two big thermoses of his favorite soup and tea for lunch.

Like kuroo, he overheats very easily, so he’ll wear a light jacket with a sweater and then accessorizes with one of his scarves.

Puts carrot penises on his snowmen.

tendou:

Is absolutely giddy about the holidays and Christmas! He does his own “12 Days of Christmas” where he gives little things like chocolates or brings lots of hot cocoa during practice.

His cheeks get flustered very easily, and he hates it, so he wears circle scarves a lot.

Makes hot chocolate almost every night. He doubles the powder dosage and uses whole milk to make it extra chocolatey and creamy.

Gets easily turned on when he sees a girl in a sexy Mrs. Claus dress.

Is one of those “unique” gift givers, but his gifts are always from the heart and probably related it to his favorite memory with you.

Prefers seasonal wax melts instead of candles.

Was that one kid that offered other kids “lemon snow”.

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0con 2019 sunday diary

cosplayed: tsukasa, breakfast: ramen, snack: one (1) root beer lollipop

for future me only. also, disclaimer: im writing this at 5 am while extremely tired afte waking up from being asleep at my desk. i forgot a lot of specifics in all that time since i left the con n most of his is mediocre.

so i arrived at 10 am for the ha!kyuu panel only yo go to the panel room and see that it had been canceled (the panel name was crossed out n “cancelled” was written next to the panel name) so i had woken up early for Nothing bc i also had no panel at 11 so i had 2 free hrs to kill. i also checked the room where the UT panel was supposed to b happening in bc i like UT n had nothing to do, but there was no one in the room so.. unfortunately, my stomach started hurting rly bad, so a good chunk of that time was spent w me sat on the floor near a wall thingy or walking slowly. unfortunately the dealers room hadnt been opened yet so i just sat around then when the dealers room opened i started to wander a bit more. i didnt take a lot of photos bc my energy and socialness was kinda drained due to the stomachache pain so like. rip. 

then there was the dd-lc panel! in it, some guy in the audience offered natsuki snack bars (n she took one, as well as gave one to yuri) after calling her “the starving one”, and ome guy said “natsuki, your dad’s a dick. can i adopt you” n went up to the panel table n sifned a piece of paper monika wrote on that was ‘adoption papers’ and he gave natsuki a hug n called her his daughter for the rest of the panel. some guy dared natsuki to rip a page out of her manga (she had 2 books of manga on the table) n she actually DID rip out a page, and not a useless one like the “you’re reading the wrong way” page, either. the audience was like “why!!” n she n monika were like “i’m/impulsive!!”. natsuki was frequently referred to w “baby” (as im “she’s baby”) throughtout the panel. everyone thought yuri was the most fashionable when asked on a truth. sayori was asked how it was “hanging” and what her favorite brand of rope was.

after that, i Wanted to go to the she r-a princess alliance, but when i kept glancing out at the riverwalk, there was no one there?? so i just went to the bn-ha improv n it was!! actually funny. there was a skit where iida, denki, n kirishima were at a coffee shop n present m!c was the barista n iida ordered black coffee but said it wasnt right or smth or he never rly got his order, denki asked for a mocha with seventeen shots of expresso (he then drank it n did the “wey wey” friend brain thing later b4 the skit ended and was also vibrating after drinking it), and kirishima listed off a ton of things for his drink n kept going on and on. another one was bakugou being shown to be a “mommys boy” in front of uraraka and shinsou (i think) and there was a mitsuki in the audience so she went up (and actually brought snacks for the panelists! like a true mom) and during the skit she showed them his baby photos and pushed him down n at some point idk how she was sitting on his back n using him as a chair. there was also a skit w bakugou as the person at a coffee shop that had NO drinks whatsoever, only a bagel. n iida was like “what’s the flavor?” n bakugou just kept going “..bagel.” n “bagel flavor. i dunno.” n iida asked how much it was n bakugou went “$400″. then while present m!c was going on abt wanting a drink n getting angy, the iida went into the audience n started asking a few random ppl while they walked down the aisle “is this a dunkin donuts?”

after that i just walked around bc i had 2 more hrs w Nothing to do and stumbled upon a casual FP group in the dealers room but before i could get  picture one of them recognized the character on my sign or just the series or smth i think but onething led to another n i started talking with them and i sat down w them but they were like “can you like, introduce us to ens-tars we hear a lot abt it” so i went on the wiki n showed them the characters n the gentaro rly liked rabits (shino n nito in particular) n rei, dice liked yuzuru n shinobu, n ramuda liked tori n rei. i showed them reis cgs, specifically the one w kaoru and his crossroads cg n i was like “the cgs that signlehandedly made the whole fandom h*rny for like. a week.” n the gentaro was like “you mind if i [takes a drink] Thirst.” n the gentaro was also interested in koga n i was like “he’s an edgy wolfk!n who likes punk music” and i talked abt what wataru is like n fice was like “he seems like hifumi” n im like “he rly is!! he’s hifumikin.” n for shu, ramuda was like “apparently hes an asshole” n i was like “yea definitely.” n when they asked me to describe leo i was like “oh uh. he’s Fuck. i dunno how to describe him! i dont rly like him that much tbh. he’s ecentirc n one of the oddballs n he composes on walls and literally their drama cd back in the day is knights looking for him n like, finding him behid a bush composing going ‘i got inspiration!!’” n i referred to midori as the suicidal one n i was like “you tink im joking but anytime anything happens he always goes ‘i wanna die’” and when i talked abt souma ramuda was like “is he friends with shinobu?” since i’d already described shinobu n i was like “well they kno each ogher but theyre not rly friends iirc.. they had an event together tho”. at one point the ramuda paused the music they were playing in the bg n decided toplay ens-tars music n they chose undead n started blasting Death Game Holic n i was like “...oh. that’s not undead” n ramuda was like “it says undead..?” n i was like “its Deadmanz! a former unit w koga, keito, n rei” n i started jamming out n the gentaro slightly joined me for a sec. anyway uh. god these tidbits of convo r all out of order im sry but idk what caused this part of the convo but the ramuda said they were ramudakin n the gentaro said they were lowkey gentarokin n i think they mentioned these bc dice said they cosplayed dice yet arent dicekin?? i cant rly remember. oh also when i showed the gentaro rei they were like “oh i kin him now. im not saying in kinning, but im Kinning” or smth like that n im gjhnsmk at one point i mentioned my friend kuma’s dice rat art edit n the gentaro wanted 2 see it but i couldnt show em bc it was too far back in my tumblr dms. we started talking abt MTC and how ramuda wishes they got like, more hardcore rock stuff like Death Game Holic (which was still playing) bc they seemed “gangsta n hardcore” then immediately mellowed out in their songs after that n i said that yokohama walker still like, slaps tho n it kinda calms me down n ramuda said papillion calms them down. the ramuda was shocked at tori’s high voice bc they knew his va as worick from gangsta n didnt think toris voice would b That High n were surprised when they heard tori’s solo. 

after that, i had a hard time trying to decide between the LL dance panel or the hs panel n just decided on the LL panel n i hav the dances on video so yay (the final song got cut off 3/4 of the way thru n im so :(( but oh well...) n they played Telephone/Rumors and “Who’s Most Likely”. between this panel and the next one, i talked to a kaito who was the aki hana’s hanayo the previous day n we just talked abt some stuff n at one point they pulled out an izanagi plush n they asked if i was into pers0na n i was like “yea! i even was gonna cosplay adachi but my gun didnt come in n i dont think i coulda done his wig” n they apparently had abt 300 hrs on pers0na 3 FES n we talked abt how stat grinding is such a repetitive, boring thing in pers0na 3.

the bn-ha panel! i... dont remember a whole lot abt this panel im sorry. but like, halway thru, they started playing games w he audience after q n a n i got bored bc they did things like red light green light n simon says so i just took selfies while most of the audience played along. during the qna i remember someone asked shigaraki if their fog plushie could b a league of villains member tho n he said ys n held the push when it was handed to him. someone gave bakugou a giant human-sized fan n todoroki went up against bakugou w his rainbow fan. 

[shytiff]

Small September Wins

1 - its JK's birthday, and BTS also got #1 Billboard 🥺 and then dave uploaded a video of him shaving his eyebrows. Somehow theres a lot of stuff happening as Sept starters! I hope all goes well in this month. Aamiin. DL, 6P

2 - DL, e (exercise), finished to 4 padi (took a while, but i still try to be proud), watched in the soop ep 2 yay!!!

3 - DL, e, edited 3 articles, 5P. Drank janjiw’s hazelnut latte and im still not sleepy (its currently 11 pm). like usually bcs i dont move a lot and its a boring routine day to day, im not 100% “awake”. most of the time im running on probably 90-95%, like there’s still that feel of tiredness looming behind, a slight feel on the head. (except after exercise or freshly woken up and bathed) but after coffee, my head doesnt feel the usual tiiiny weight, my eyes somehow feel like they’re fully open lmao. i see the bed and im not even thinking abt laying down and sleeping. my head feels clearer, if that makes sense. is this how other ppl feel all the time? but i feel sbux’s coffee doesnt quite have the “effect” on me like janjiw do. maybe bcs it’s arabica vs robusta. and today my back feels somewhat strong and not tired!! my legs were sore from yesterday but i can sit and do stuff for a while and not feel like ugh on my back

4 - DL, edited 1 article, MPI briefing

5 - DL, planned to run and i even changed but the weather turns SUNNY all of the sudden, and when i change back into normal clothing the suns gone lmao, watched parasite (and afterwards seeing the posters and tidbits about it), ordered damm eat (quite good, but the butter rice was a bit lacking), attended ma 50th anniv on zoom and wadah gerabah (kdm's seminar on financial planning)

6 - DL, e, 2P, ordered koper bebek pak boss (kgn!!! Taste good and oily as always just the way i like it), finished listening to Tentang Anak: Montessori just bcs i was curious

7 - DL, 2K (kompre lisan kak shela), A, the lecture was all day long so its a great distraction while im fasting, the dinner was spicy chicken so i was chugging a lot of water and my stomach was half water half food

8 - DL, D (Dhuha), 15K

9 - DL, 5K, met up with atikah and lau @ mcd citra 7, talked about coding design and branding (a refreshment from medschool vibezz), did delirium ppt for thursday submission (amazed i didnt do it 2 hrs before deadline)

10 - DL, pelatihan apd, google meets with shiko to do delirium ppt, edited 2 articles

11 - DL, E, 8K, wow nemos first webinar is finally published

12 - DL, e, joons birthday!!!!, eidcp (shock and pain), in the soop 4, mpi briefing, played among us with shiko

13 - DL, 20K, 3IKK (Cicil soal DK IKK)

14 - nugas EA bersama manusia2 terstruktur dan rapih anti deadliner club im like wow so this is how other rotations work? lmaooo

15 - DL, did KMKP QA together with B9, cicil DK IKK but my progress was sooo slow, slept in early even though i dont deserve it since i can feel the looming fatigue

16 - DL, lazed around the first half of the day wtf tif ingat kompre :((((, read kak diptas note on acls but i forgot it already (its only been a couple hrs) fkdigital obesity, did DT EA

17 - ask something for the first time in mpi class by my own will lmao. Todays class was very spontaneous. Listed sponsors contacts. DL, 3k

18 - DL, sent soal pld to alya, qc soal pld, finished ppt 1 hr before discussion, slept in until 9 am, my mood feels better after playing among us and werewolf with candra jiwa. i was alive until the very last seconds until i finally died and the evil won. i for sure CANNOT be a detective. Played until 12 am. my sour soul was cheered up, so glad i joined

19 - DT resume submission while lying in bed, kompre briefing, in the soop 5 while exercising (Emi Wong, standing HIIT), rapat sponsor nemo, read PPK Primer, diskusi asinkronus, my will to do things deteriorated again

20 - DL, hamstring and glutes sore af, 4IKK, read some PPK Primer, played among us with dajen and anak merpati, group call w shiko

21 - DL, did geriatri assignment, cicil ikk (even though turned out i did the wrong questions ffffffff), cbl at night from 19:30-21:00. Tried indomaret point's baper coffee and it did make me focus more on my laptop and deadlines to catch. Bts tiny desk concert omg!!!

22 - DL, cicil IKK as always~ geriatri discussion, drank indomaret points caramel latte and studied a bit for kompre. Somehow my stomach is less bloated when i drink coffee the night before :/

23 - DL, 1A, kompre study, dk ikk 17:00, coffee (palm sugar, indomaret point). Im not drowning in assignment... Yet

24 - DL, EA task training and simulation, cbl from 13:00-17:00 powered by sbux vanilla latte, passed out until 20:00, ate sum food, did DT

25 - wtf its friday already?!, DL, task training, spontaneous J-2 announced meeting with dr Dyah, tried ara's cake, rapat nemo and sponsor nemo, caramel macchiato~, ICORPS RSUI, cicil ikk terosss

26 - DL, have no will to do stuff, read some bitly kompre, ordered burgushi chicken mentai, cicil IKK

27 - 1A, alhamdulillahh finished reflection after a lot of stumped moments, it literally took me a day to make wtf. Its only 2 pages. And thats about it lmaooo. Played among us with solid

28 - DL, 1A, woke up at 11 am lmao, horein sam, cicil dk ikk, group call shiko. Didnt do a lot od things today but my mood is definitely better

29 - DL, will sleep at about 11 pm ish (slept through prof men’s lecture huhu) --> after posting this played my phone and slept at 12, anamnesis practice with ness ren, finished tugas harian geri

30 - DL, anam geri, finished status, and then did nothing else except reading painter of the night :(((( i didnt even do ikk. I got no fighting spirit today