#he’s my little poet
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hyunjins-orange-slice-too · 7 months ago
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bf chan when you cancel plans because you’re feeling insecure
genre: fake texts/hurt comfort?
an: idk what this is. it was inspired by a tiktok i saw and it kind of spiraled from there. i’ll do the other members too if yall want me to. but you know i had to start with my chan chan.
masterlist
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🚨reminder: even though this post is PG, this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕
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llinstarr · 10 months ago
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⋆。˚“You’re the whole bloody sky”⋆。˚
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Remus lupin - tcoptp by motswolo.
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butnottxday · 3 months ago
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neil perry is gay !!
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clowningcrows · 4 months ago
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trying Very Hard to be normal about neil perry today
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whenuwishuponastar · 4 months ago
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Baby I'm yours....
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syrupsyche · 3 months ago
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:O What does teacher au Bahorel do?
HI EMILE!!! Here is teacher!Bahorel!
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Made him a history teacher because could you IMAGINE him in a History department meeting with Enjolras and Javert?? (And Feuilly, but we haven't talked about teacher!Feuilly publicly on Tumblr yet 🫣)
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rocketqueen1989x · 2 months ago
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I want him to read me one of his poems
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trickstersaint · 6 months ago
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shelter animal // january 2024
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familiarquotation · 1 month ago
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Had you known me sunnier earlier when my flesh was a light coating of dew on blue grass you'd have bitten me eagerly enough, which is what I've always wanted
Olive Garden, Frank O' Hara
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everythingisawayoflife · 29 days ago
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Neil's Death & The Symbolism Within - An Essay
OKAY LIKE A FEW PEOPLE SAID I SHOULD SO LET ME TALK ABOUT THIS, its gonna sound like nonsense. this is a repost so it gets more visibility! Trigger Warning for discussions of Suicide, Self-Harm, Mental Health. Please read at caution cause I discuss a lot of sensitive stuff here.
So my scene analysis paper was exactly as it sounds, we watch a movie of our choice, and analyze it from our textbook, America on Film: 3rd edition. I chose Dead Poets bc it had been a minute since I’ve seen it and I also have seen it enough times to be able to analyze it. So I chose Neil’s suicide. a very chilling scene that when broken down, says a lot, for saying very little. so first lets get into the biblical allegory.
When we first see Neil, he opens his window and slowly puts his Puck crown on his head, like so:
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This combines two major elements of the main biblical parallels at play: The Agony in the Garden and one of the major Instruments of the Passion, The Crown of Thorns. For those who have not grown up around Christianity/don't pay attention to it, here are some brief yet thorough definitions of the terms I just threw around:
Agony in the Garden: The night Jesus and his disciples spend in the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus spends the entire night praying and wrestling with his inevitable crucifixion. Some scriptures add that he was sweating blood during this but it depends on which translation you read. The Agony really shows Jesus' human side and can best be seen in the musical Jesus Christ Superstar's most pivotal number, Gethsemane, which I've linked here.
The Passion: A collective name for the events leading up to Jesus' crucifixion. Essentially all of what Easter is. Passion's archaic definition is suffering.
The Instruments of the Passion: Notable relics and icons from the Passion. These include the Crown of Thorns, the cross itself, Holy Lance, Veil of Veronica, and more.
Anyway, the entire first part of the scene shows Neil, who moves slowly and deliberately. No one else in the entire house is awake and he has become one with nature, by opening his window and feeling the winter breeze. Neil bows his head, presumably IN PRAYER, before we cut to the next part. While Christianity has become decentralized in households across America, it was still very crucial in 1950s America, especially in WASP-y domains. So, it would be correct to assume Neil's family is Christian, especially of how Welton is structured (i.e. the main meeting hall is basically a chapel, they sing hymns, etc.).
Jesus Christ was crowned with thorns as a way of mocking him. He was put on trial because according to the Romans, he claimed to be a God, which because the Romans adhered to their set pantheon, it was considered sacrilege and blasphemy. Jesus only ever responded (again, depending on the translation), "You say that I am." So they wanted to mock his authority and placed that crown on his head. Neil is essentially mocking his own authority because the entire movie he has tried and failed to have authority over his own life. His father continuously shoots him down and refuses to listen until the final break when he tells Neil he is sending him to military school. For Neil, he believes it was foolish to think he could even persuade his father just a tiny bit. He expresses this from the moment we first meet Mr. Perry to the final argument.
Where Jesus wears a crown of thorns, Neil's crown is woven with what appears to be fruits and maybe flowers. Flowers and fruit have had sensitive and romantic connotations throughout all of history and are often represented in classic art and literature. Neil is making this sacrifice in the name of art. If you notice throughout the entire movie, anytime death is mentioned, the camera is focused on Neil. It is brilliant subtle foreshadowing and it eats me alive every time it happens. Neil knows what he is about to do. Robert Sean Leonard played this scene beautifully and I so badly want to discuss all of this with him.
Continuing on, we watch Neil make a silent descent down the stairs and he is entirely shadowed. This gives the audience the implication that we already see a ghost:
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Neil needed theater like he needed breathing and when theater was taken away from him, his life force was gone. The whole of Neil already died. We see this resignation with his final line:
"I was good. I was really good."
Neil already views himself as dead. He speaks of himself in the past tense. So Neil walking silently through his house as if he were already a ghost is so haunting. I mentioned earlier that Neil knows what he is doing. In Christianity, suicide is considered a sin. We see this in The Divine Comedy, an Italian narrative written by author Dante Alighieri in the 1300s CE. In the first and most famous section, Inferno, when Dante and Virgil arrive in the Seventh Circle and come across those who have committed suicide where they have been turned into trees. The only exception to this is Judas Iscariot, who is being feasted on by a three-headed Satan. Now again, Judas dies two different ways depending on which biblical translation you read but typically the narrative is this:
Judas turns Jesus into the Sanhedrin for 30 pieces of silver and when he discovers Jesus is to be crucified, Judas hangs himself.
In Biblical times, despite suicide being marked as a sin, in Judas' case, because he wanted redemption from his bad act, it was viewed as an acceptable death. So for Neil, this suicide is a redemption for betraying his father. A small parallel, maybe even a bit of stretch, but it is there for me nonetheless.
Back to Jesus, Neil's descent down the stairs also parallels to the walk along the Via Dolorosa or the Way of Suffering. It is the path Jesus walked to his crucifixion, a long and arduous journey. The walk is about 2,000 ft (600 Meters in Metric) yet this is a man who has been beaten, starved, tortured, who was also tasked with carrying his own large wooden cross, and Neil has his own cross to bear: The emotional weight of what he is about to do. It was a slow and painful walk for Jesus and its a slow and painful walk for Neil. Skipping ahead, Neil finally arrives to his destination. The choice to do it in his father's office was absolutely on purpose. Neil comes back to the spot he emotionally died, the moment he lost everything. We get just a brief bit of hesitation for Neil. He fiddles with the key to his father's desk. He holds it gingerly and turns it over in his fingers a few times before reaching down to unlock the drawer with the gun. This goes back to the Agony in the Garden, which again, is best expressed in Jesus Christ Superstar's Gethsemane:
Why I should die?
Eventually, Jesus resigns himself to die:
Alright, I'll die! Just watch me die! See how I die!
Neil does not go silently. I don't know if I'm hallucinating or have really keen hearing, but I swear you can hear the tail end of the gunshot simultaneously as the dirge-like music cuts and Mr. Perry gasps awake. I might just be making that up but I don't know tbh. But anyway, while Jesus resigns himself, the following lyrics express frustration with God and the life that was already planned for him when he has a selfish sense to live. This song and musical really delve into the debate of how much human and God was Jesus Christ and it really opens the door for his human side. He expresses selfishness and a want to abandon his mission. He is hesitant to die. He is hesitant to die painfully. Like I said earlier, Neil hesitates ever so slightly.
Then I was inspired
Now, I'm sad and tired
After all I've tried for three years
Cause not only is God, well, y'know, GOD, he is also Jesus' father. A father who had planned out a whole life for his son and while his son goes along with it, he has a desire to live outside of that. Sound familiar? And I really am trying not to be sacrilegious or anything! I grew up in a Christian household but outside of that, theology has always interested me and I've learned to view it from an academic standpoint. As for my beliefs now, I'm still unsure, and I don't think I ever will be sure and I think that's okay. We're getting off topic, so let me get back on track.
The final time we see Neil alive is him sitting at his Dad's desk, gun wrapped in cloth with Neil gripping it:
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He looks sure, with maybe just a flicker of sadness. The entire scene Neil has looked serene. And not like the calm kind of serene, the morose kind. Solemn, I think is a better word for it. Neil's soul has died. Neil is about to crucify himself and become a Dead Poet. He has fulfilled the purpose of the poets they read about in the Society. He lived life as full as he could only for it to be cut down so short. That's the tragedy of it: Neil had so much life to live and so much more to contribute to the arts. But Neil's father killed that passion, killed that love. Earlier in the film, Keating recites the Whitman poem, O Me! O Life! In summary, the poem essentially states that life itself is what makes life worth living. It's a question and answer poem. The speaker wonders what about life is worth living when it is full of constant suffering. They get an answer: life itself is. You being here on Earth and having an identity is what makes it worth it. Neil doesn't see that worth anymore. Life without the arts, his friends, Keating, is not worth living for him anymore. I really recommend reading that full poem, linked here, it is so gorgeous despite it being so short. That sweaty-toothed madman had a gift.
I think that's pretty much everything. There have been a MILLION think pieces on Todd and Neil's whole relationship (TLDR: those boys are GAY) so I didn't get into it here, mainly cause I wanted to focus on Neil and the real meat of my rambling, which was the Biblical allegory. I feel like I said a whole bunch of nothing and it might not make sense to me in the morning but it feels good to get it all out. I love this movie and I love Neil and I love Biblical allegory.
I also hope that this post communicates that suicide is not the answer! Please reach out if you have feelings that make you feel unsafe or need someone to lean on. My DMs are always open and I will leave the major crisis hotlines if needed.
988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call for support
741741 - Crisis Text Line, text TALK to speak to someone for support.
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thiamblogger · 9 months ago
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me realising todd only wanted to do rowing because it's a nonverbal sport..
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kekaki-cupcakes · 8 months ago
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Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? is so Percy coded though-
If you wanted me dead you should've just said Nothing makes me feel more alive
Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one morе joke Then we could all just laugh until I cry
I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth
So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
'Cause you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me You caged me and then you called me crazy I am what I am 'cause you trained me So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?
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all-too-unwell-13 · 4 months ago
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so i just finished reading the cruel prince and um
is it just me or is jude SO 'who's afraid of little old me?' coded
"i am what i am, 'cause you trained me" - ts
"i am what you made me, father" - jude
i could probably find so many more lines but that one really stuck out to me
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lonlylook · 1 year ago
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Dead poets society (1989)
"i'm trapped"
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sideblogdotjpeg · 30 days ago
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"ultrus is right, i am weak and pathetic" / "callie believes the way she loves is fundamentally repulsive" / "all i ever cared about was being useful someday" . things i think about a normal amount
#these arent the exact quotes ... sols is a lil longer and i dont remember the Exact SR callies is from#also guess who wrote a mini essay in the tags AND THEN TUMBLR DELETED IT#anyway. ultimately . . tldr#sol is scared of being alone and believes that hes weak but also that if he Just works Hard enough he can be good and helpful and belong#and so is the inverse true. when people leave you its because you didnt work hard enough and its your fault#and callie whos been up against rejection her whole life and cldnt understand why except that she loved too hard and it drove people away#and in her moments of most intense loss going cold. overwhelmed by shame. why wld she think it wld go right this time. shldve known better#and ​maybe somethin abt callie being a poet. who always thought about what the world Could be. not what it is (cyra) or what it will (oliana#but ultimately with this overwhelming feeling that shes fundamentally unloveable and has to stop herself from daydreaming#then calder who. brothers ranger and mother ranger general. a family who is known aroind the ice knife as their protectors.#and the runt of the pack calder kilde. who was small and looked down on and overprotected and didnt dream of being a leader but a soldier.#dreamt of being a shield not a sword. use; and usefulness; in the sense of belonging. i am used because i am so valued and loved#anyway..... i just think duck team all have their . harrowing and peculiar relationship to like. self worth and loneliness#how the way they see themselves (weak/unloveable/small) intersect with how they feel isolated and abandoned and excluded#and how they react to that feeling in their own unique way....#these r just my silly little thoughts :3#noodles in my brain. ehehehe. im . i think abt it a normal amount#ramble tag#(and hey since were here hardwon who thinks he hurts the people he loves and isolates himself from his loved one because of tha-)#*i am escorted off the tags*#naddpod
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jjlr101 · 2 years ago
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Everytime i read a dps related post that says something along the lines of "fuck Cameron" i cry a little, a part of my soul dies, my heart shrinks, my hands get cold until i lose all body heat and die of hypothermia and it will all be your fault ❤
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