#he’s just becoming more like Dean
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Watching S3E9 of Supernatural and seeing the heartbreak and self hatred in Dean’s face when Sam tells him that the reason he’s becoming the very opposite of the good he’s always been is because he’s finally having to become his older brother is enough to ruin the next 10 years of my life.
#it’s my first time watching spn soo#maybe there is more going on with Sammy#but the fact that Dean thought he wasn’t fully human#and has just found out that actually#he’s just becoming more like Dean#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#sad thoughts
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its so so insane how dean has like. the huge fanbase he does. he is AWFUL!!!! i love him truly but im known for loving awful characters in fandoms im used to characters who act like him being viciously hated!!! and the only explanation i can think of is that hes played by jensen ackles (aka pretty white man). theres the fact that the narrative favours dean a lot when hes not actually right (a la s4) but thats not just it because dean is pretty clear-cut presesnted as getting morally greyer to the point of antihero territory in like s9 (where im at) at least. and Yet. he is unproblematic ally king to all??? supportive brother of the century??? Girl what???? do you know who dean winchester is? he is a controlling possessive clingy manipulative aggressive unstable thirty five year old who cant grow past his own damage and never really will because the narrative is perpetuated by the cycles he keeps perpetuating
#thing is like. the narrative corrupts dean under the guise of heroism and makes him worse and worse while it punishes sam under the guise of#justice and hurts him more and more#its like how their most defining moments of hell trauma respectively is dean torturing others and sam getting tortured#dean is The Good One and sam is The Bad One but the narrative pushes dean so much and makes him so angry he breaks and gets worse#and more 'villainous' (bad word). and the narrative hurts sam so much for the crime of being born the bad son that he just becomes more and#more of a victim. at the start of the show dean is michael and sam is lucifer. thats their destined roles. but by season nine dean is cain#and sam is abel. thats what it comes down to. Augh.#and they need to keep being codependent and resurrecting each other and needing each other forever and ever and getting worse and more#damaged in tandem because thats how the show even exists. meta!#and all this is soo like. because in supernatural the narrative is god. god is the author of their book series. Christ#what a show. its SO good despite not being good at all.#spn#oliver talks#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#spn meta
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it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.
#castiel spn#spn#this is not like a Castiel Crime (tm) to be clear. this is more me being (un)surprised that the show is Like This.#castiel is a horror story he is so much a horror story in the rapture#and then they just uh. never bring up again how horrifying and fucked up this is for another like 7 seasons#and when they do its to briefly go :( claire lost her dad :) but its okay! she forgives cas for it!#which!! NO SHE SHOULD FUCKING NOT!!!#but we can't have that discussion. we can't talk about that. because to acknowledge that it's fucked up would mean making cas kind of. evil#in a way that would vastly improve his later character arcs btw. if we had to reckon with not only this massive transgression#but with the fact that cas himself STILL DOESN'T SEE IT AS ONE.#that on a lot of fundamental levels. he is still functioning as he did in s4. a lot of that base programming is still there.#something something how cas never changes out of his suit under his trenchcoat#but it's like. jimmy said yes. so it's fine. that's what it is to him.#anyway. i wish they hadn't been scared of making all three of the boys more fucked up in later seasons.#thank GOD for dean being interesting in how he becomes Worse <3 because they were not bringing that for castiel.#again. good version of spn where jimmy's bloodline is an off-shoot of the lucifer vessel bloodline. explaining a) how lucifer Got In There#and b) letting lucifer possess claire later so that the two of them can have daddy issues together.#something about cas being the monster-not monster that jimmy let in that destroyed his life.#something about lucifer being the monster-not monster that castiel lets in later. the cycles. they are cycling.
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So I played through some more dbh last night and woke up thinking, God, there is a good reason Markus and Kara, and their respective companions never got as popular as Connor and Hank. Literally The Bridge is surrounded by the most *do everything for absolutely no reason* chapters, and there's no comparison.
First the Kara chapter wastes your time, she barely gets any small talk in with Luther, then the car breaks down, then you're just doing tiny tasks, doing a shitty sum up of her story so far when Alice asks you to make one up- they could have done something interesting with that story but they chose not to, literally anything specific anything that would function as a parallel to their journey would have actually had some value. Then you barely start a conversation with Luther, where are you maybe get a hint of his personality before we're back to just talking about the plot and Alice, but then it's over again and you meet the Jerries and you learn almost nothing about them.
It is a chapter where you do nothing interesting, and you learn almost nothing about the main characters, for a downtime chapter, I expect character development and get barely a sneeze of it. There is so much room and so much time for you to really push and question your main characters but it just doesn't get used.
Honestly I think the protagonists all could have probably really benefited from the audience getting to hear their internal monologues if they weren't actually going to talk to their companion characters, but even that would just be a substitute for decent writing.
Either way, after that, we come back to Connor and Hank, who do almost no tasks in this chapter, *but spend the entire time TALKING.* They talk to each other in a constant volley back and forth for the entire length of the chapter and it's probably one of the best chapters in the game, it's certainly one of the most important in their story. You spend the entire bridge scene learning more about Hank and Connor's inner worlds, and how they think, and how they feel, you spend the whole chapter learning so much about their perspectives, this chapter is all about asking the hard questions about both of their individual characters, and the tension is high, it's a straightforward chapter to play, and it really fucking feels like your choices matter here, there will be immediate consequences, not just walking through your environment trying to find the right answer, or being dragged through an interaction. It's just plain good.
And then Markus infiltrates the Stratford Tower, and you get the most boring and useless and frustrating chapter in the game that doesn't seem to serve any purpose beyond looking cool. If Kara's last chapter was only to gain sympathy and create some soft and fuzzy feelings, this chapter is only about looking cinematic. This is probably my least favorite chapter in the game, honestly I've just gotten lost on that yellow ass office floor building too many times, even though I'm very familiar with the game now I still managed to get lost again last night.
I will admit that eventually it does become an opportunity to decide between pacifism and violence but that seems to be the only real development for Markus, and it wouldn't have been hard to make that kind of opportunity in another setting. Because we get next to nothing watching him get past the front desk, or from walking around that floor, just some outfit changes and pretending to be a machine and a little more Android hate in the background, Markus is almost completely silent yet again, there is almost no talking with North once she appears. We actually get more about North's personality here than Markus', she just feels like she has more lines somehow, because sometimes she just talks without it being connected to the plot and Markus never does.
This bit is more speculative, but my fiance and I were going off last night about whyyyy did they have to break into the tower? We're never given any reason for what the steps are and why they are important, just usually pretty important in these mission impossible type scenes, they're usually explaining in a voice-over why they are taking the steps that they are taking. But we get no explanation for why he needs to go to the 47th floor or whatever, No explanation for why he needs to change into a maintenance Android uniform, why North was in the stairwell, how Josh and Simon got in, it's all just handwaved, and whyyyyyy they couldn't have just?? Made a recording and then hacked the station's broadcast remotely and basically just posted the speech? I don't know, it's just a particularly frustrating chapter to play, personally, but it isn't strong.
Either way, you've got two chapters with next to no character development, that just have a lot of empty space and time where the characters could have been talking or could have been doing something else, but didn't because the vibes were more important, sandwiching a simple scene with ten pounds of character development and it just feels weird. And once I noticed it, it just made the Kara and Markus chapters look incredibly weak and poorly written... And conversely, make the Connor and Hank chapter look much, much stronger in comparison.
It's like Detroit become human almost needs it's own type of Bechdel Test, just to show how much they fail Markus and Kara. "Do they talk about something that isn't the plot?"
"Do Kara and Luther talk about something that isn't Alice or getting to Canada?" "Does Markus talk about anything besides his speech for this chapter?" "Does Alice talk at all beyond basic communication with Kara?" "Does Markus or his buddies talk about anything that's not the revolution or just Markus himself?"
... They don't pass a lot.
It's just hard to take these characters above simply *likeable* when they just, don't, ever, talk. There's little to no development for Markus or Kara, and because they've just become deviants, there's hardly any character establishment in the first place, they barely even get the chance to just be flat, because if they don't really know who they are, we don't really know who they are.
Connor and Hank's friendship is more functionally the main plot, more so than the deviant investigation, and for Markus and the team, and Kara with Alice, that's simply just not the case, there is hardly any relationship, they're just in the same boat. This is why Connor got astronomically more popular, and why he and Hank have the staying power that they do.
Markus and Kara just don't ever talk, and Connor does. And I'm fucking mad about it. The amount of time that was just wasted in their stories, I could probably take a damn stopwatch to all the moments where there could have been a little something-something, and nothing was put there. It's not to say Connor doesn't get some quiet moments too but he always gets the chance to make up for it.
Even at the beginning of the Stratford Tower chapter, I noticed that they could have had Simon and North talking about something maybe unrelated when Markus walks up, but there's nothing, only silence until Markus comes in with a plan. And of course we know about every time Luther tries to bring up the fact that Alice is an android, only to be shut down and walked away from. It fucking kills me how much time Mark is has the focus of the camera but it's only so he could look cool for a minute, and share no thoughts of his own, none of his new feelings, everything is only implied and then followed by the action where he is only allowed to be the leader of the revolution and never just Markus. There's a tragedy in that, but they could have driven it home harder by *pointing that out.*
#dean talks to himself#detroit become human#dbh connor#markus dbh#Kara dbh#and it's not like i don't know there's racism and sexism in fandom and in production. obviously Connor is a white man. i didn't forget#and there's the insanity that happened with GR and creating all that personality for an asshole with four appearances throughout the game#which makes you wonder why didn't the fandom do the same for Markus and Kara bc wtf#But honestly the logic kind of tracks. GR showed so much personality and he has the benefit of being human so we can more easily extrapolat#we know what humans tend to do with their time and what they act like and we barely get to see any androids actually doing the whole#becoming human thing.#I've tried building them up in my head but I'll admit it's kind of hard. they're more blank slate than sandbox#GR is a human and Hank's foil and that's easy to extrapolate on. 900 is Connor but Better and that's easy to extrapolate on#i think we somehow see too much and not enough of Markus and Kara and it has us pressing the brake and the gas at the same time#just trying to figure them out around these points. it's like a damn maze and a lot of speculation that doesn't have anything to grab onto#it's just a damn crying fucking shame because there was so much time to spend on them and it just doesn't get spent on them#anyway rant over hope you didn't hate it
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Late seasons dean would soooo spank the hell out of early seasons sam. They'd be soo ruthless to each other but dean would have the upper hand and will put bitchy lil early seasons sammy in his place. He would have no patience for sam's brattiness and sam would be so rude to him and so angry at his overbearing dominance. It would be one delicious horrible interaction
#i cant stop thinking about this#like dean would legit just be DONE and spank him and sam would be likd “so youre just like dad (derogatory)”#spn#wincest#they'd fuck so good and nasty tho#early season sammy would be so so well dicked by older dean he'd become addicted to him#dean stronger and more serious and more vicious and none of the sweet boyish comfort he had but instead#so determined and cold and strong and would fuck that ATTITUDE out of him
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"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them
#.txt#i've gotten to the point of relationship anarchy where i no longer understand the obsession with labeling relationships#there's a post floating around like 'it doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic the point is that they love each other'#and i get the message. however may i propose that distinctions such as that don't even have to matter. consider#bold claim probably. but whatever i didn't have the choice to think about love in a normative way and as a consequence i have thoughts#of course i am thinking about wincest but it applies everywhere. jopzier even#jopson views crozier as a surrogate parent but in an inherently queer way. does that mean he want to fuck his mom? probably not#but the fixation and need for redemption turns the traditionally familial relationship into something far more#do you understand#once you leave the normative behind labels become useless#do sam and dean love each other romantically or platonically or familially? consider: it doesn't matter. there are no words to describe it#their love is queer in the sense that it extends beyond normativity. society holds no sway over them. they are ungovernable#i find it ultimately unhelpful to discuss fiction in normative terms when the characters themselves exist outside of normative society#shows like supernatural and the terror are perfect examples. sam and dean were never normal and franklin crew left normal behind#the arctic doesn't care if you fuck your mom. the impala doesn't care if you kiss your brother#this isn't really about anything i just saw that post the other day and i was like. why doesn't this Hit for me. well this is why#however it IS helpful to discuss fiction set within normative society in relation to normativity. it's relevant!#most stories are not however set within the bounds of normativity. that's kinda the whole point of a lot of fiction#baby i explore relationship anarchy in ways that you couldn't even imagine#<-tldr#i have a tendency to write essays in the notes every time i post something. sorry about that. it feels safer here and i am skittish
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truly nothing on this earth is more foul than supernatural familial abuse discourse but specifically the discourse people have about if sam or dean "had it worse" like ok cool you have already missed the point of this show very hard.
#the things ive seen in those trenches.....#its like actually their circumstances were based on their positionality in the family and the expectations each had#but on another level the discourse never truly explores what sams life was like as a child. hes either a spoiled brat or a martyr#in ways that make him one dimensional in ways fanon child dean just. isnt.#sam isnt just isolated. hes also controlled and surveilled. any wrong move (unbeknownst to him) proves to john hes irredeemable#like the center of john telling dean he might have to kill sam. is always dean like i feel crazy with how little consideration there is#toward the mental headspace of a guy whose whole childhood is suddenly warped by the realization his father suspected he was evil#and might need to be put down like a dog. and then. sam accepts this!!!! he truly believes is he Crosses A Line dictated by deans judgement#then oops oh well! because fundamentally sam has been conditioned to believe in his own inability to make decisions about himself#so the 'dean protects sam! dean keeps sam innocent and gave him a childhood' becomes much more insidious when u realize#that is one side of the coin wherein sam is under the complete authority of another person#and obv dean is not evil for that. its learned behavior!!#but instead of teasing out this reality when we learn what john told dean... it becomes aww poor dean :(( instead of a horrific glimpse int#the hierarchy of information and control fundamental to their relationship. guys its a cult.#my posts#spn
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Ikr! Especially because he was not technically supposed to survive possession. He was supposed to die in the fight so who knows what kind of side effects he's gonna end up with. Maybe he's left with some of Lucifer's tricks. Like he snaps his fingers once and the person next to him is instantly vaporized. That would be very fun for me personally
that would also be very fun for me <3 i love when sam is in pain and i think accidentally vaporising/killing someone with his powers would cause so much guilt for him, but also fear that dean will once again see sam as something to be hunted like he told him in s4. @supamerchant left some interesting tags about his emotions affecting his powers, so the more upset he gets with himself the more his powers fuck things up, a never ending feedback loop overwhelming him to the point where he'd do anything just to make it stop. and maybe his desire to make it all stop is fuelled by hallucifer taunting him that its his own grace left inside sam that's causing all of this, and sam thought being lucifers vessel was bad but having his grace linger in him might be worse.
i promise i do like sam i just like causing him pain ♥
#im picturing them at a diner or something when dean notices all the weird things going on from sams powers. but he doesnt know its because#of sam so he just thinks its a case to be investigated so he tells sam about it. and sam gets more and more pale as he realises dean is#talking about him. hes the case. dean is talking about hunting him. and of course sam is going to tell him at some point but hes reluctant.#he doesnt want dean to look at him that way again like when he found out about sam drinking demon blood. maybe he can get a handle of his#powers before anything drastic happens. but the more he tries the more frustrated he gets that he cant control them and the more out of#control his powers become. streetlamps and windows start exploding around him. things randomly bursting into flame. not to mention the hell#hallucinations feeling so much more real to the point where he can feel hallucifer touch him. far more real than a hallucination should be#sorry i basically just wrote a fic outline in the tags#wilsonthemoose#<3
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joseph gordon-levitt called jim hawkins "just a very good-looking wasp of a boy that I will never be" and I've been thinking about that for two weeks
#even he was like “okay this was intentional”#and yes. every Jim Thing was SO intentional. I've read every scrap of material on the movie's creation and process I can get my eyeballs on#and I think one of the reasons I like Jim so much is that every single thing they did with him they were excited about#they were so passionate about it. they wanted to do things with his eyes and hands and expressions-#-that they said they hadn't tried yet because they wanted jim to be as real as they could get him to be#surrounded by all these not-so-real looking worlds and aliens#because his struggles were realistic and his season in life was so relatable in the story#they did model him off jimmy dean but they also modeled him off of joseph gordon-levitt and the poses and faces he'd make#JGL was SEVENTEEN when he voiced jim. he was not fully grown#jim was so “good-looking” as an animated character not just because of how he was drawn but because he himself is supposed to be so raw/rea#and that instinctively makes you like him more. plus. he IS drawn a specific way#and he IS cute don't get me wrong (he is a child)#but there's something about writing a character as true to life as you can#and trying to express something very real through that character that people can understand and care about#in order to make a true point#that sticks to people and influences them. and that's what happened with Jim#it's like Percy Jackson or Holden Caulfield#no I have never been claimed as a child of a Greek god and exploded a toilet#no I have never gotten expelled repeatedly or mugged in the 1950s#but I do know what it's like to want deep connections with people and despair of getting them#and I do know what it's like to wish I could get something right#Percy and Holden AND JIM all express those things at one point or another#they express other things too. they feel very REAL. so you listen to them and you connect with them#and just like with real people you look at them and they become more attractive to you (both literally and figuratively)-#-as you get to know them and understand them better#that's how you characterize#that's good writing#and in Jim's case good ANIMATING too#continually blown away by the massive amount of energy and thought and buckets and buckets of INTENTION that went into Treasure Planet#and it was not released at the proper time to get the attention it should've gotten
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i know it’s 2023 but i have a lot of Thoughts™ on demon!dean and since this is my corner of the internet and i can talk about whatever i goddamn like we’re gonna talk about how they squandered the deanmon potential—yes i know this was back in 2015 what’s your point misha had to come out as straight last year this train is never stopping
cause like, i remember all the promo spots being off the shits like ‘THIS…IS THE YEAR…OF THE DEANMON!!!!’
and i was psyched, and then it turned out to be like, 3 episodes. and he just sang terrible karaoke. the worst thing he did was try to grope a woman—which, obviously, is a shitty thing to do, but isn’t on the same level as like, torturing her to death
it just—it could’ve been so damn cool. imagine, like, castiel trying to reason with him, and since angels see demons as they truly are, not who they’re wearing (also: was deanmon possessing his own corpse? could he have possessed another human? i haven’t rewatched since it aired but like… did they ever clarify that??) he can see like this mutilated thing that he knows is his friend, but it’s almost beyond recognition
and deanmon is basically a soulless human, functionally, because he doesn’t care about anything or anyone except himself and what he wants, and these two guys with their ‘i know you’re in there somewhere’ and ‘this isn’t the real you’ crap are really getting on his nerves, so he’s coming out with stuff like how, it was forty years in hell, therefore alistair knew him longer than sam or cas, alistair made him into what he is now, and he’s so grateful bc he’s no longer snivelling over every insignificant dead human they come across. humans are so pathetically fragile after all, why bother trying to save them?
just IMAGINE the potential—the futility of cas raising him from perdition! because this was always who he was meant to become, what he was going to be, and cas was just delaying the inevitable—because dean’s whole life has been authority figures forging him into their weapon. all cas was trying to do was swap out one blacksmith for another
and yeah i know they needed to wrap up the deanmon thing sharpish because of the 300th episode but like… they could’ve made 300 a flashback. like a fun-ish job the boys did years prior, and at the end of the episode sam suddenly wakes up because he was dreaming of that hunt and in remembering it he’s had a ~breakthrough~ on how to help dean—and THAT’S how he knows where to look and finds out about the blood injection nonsense
(i still cannot believe it was THAT SIMPLE to cure someone of being a demon. and that dean was also allegedly a knight of hell or some bullshit)
like we could’ve had a solid half-a-season of deanmon, we get to see the full range of what he was actually capable of. he still blows off crowley, obviously, because he doesn’t need to be babysat, he doesn’t need someone to line up a murder-y demon deal for him like he’s on an enrichment program at the zoo
sam hasn’t seen him in several episodes, he’s still trying to figure out how to get dean back, if he can get dean back, and he’s doing hunts in between because he feels morally obligated to, or he needs money, or he’s doing it for someone in return for info on the dean thing—whatever
dean rocks up to where sam’s working on a job, and at first you just think he’s there to piss sam off and generally fuck around, and sam just can’t look at him and can’t be near him cause it’s so obviously not his brother and he doesn’t want to risk dean realising he’s searching for a fix, because he genuinely, deeply fears that this thing with his brother’s face will try to kill him.
but dean’s going around telling everyone that sam’s his brother and forcing sam to play nice because they’re in front of people, and dean makes very clear what will happen if sam doesn’t play nice and doesn’t let dean do as he likes—and sam’s just disgusted and uneasy
and once sam finishes the job—having bonded slightly with whoever was being attacked—he tells dean to leave him the hell alone, and leaves the town. and dean stays behind, seemingly honouring his brother’s wishes—is there hope?
but that night‚ dean goes to the house of whoever sam helped on the hunt. maybe it’s a cute suburban family‚ maybe it’s a college girl whose friend was killed, but he knocks on the door and says he’s dean and he’s sam’s brother and they’re estranged and he doesn’t know where sam went—could she help him? so she invites him in‚ because sam is the kind guy who just saved her life, and his brother is just as charming and handsome and seems like a nice dude, and the last thing we see is dean (from behind) as he enters‚ and he’s holding the first blade behind his back and the door just slowly swings shut. cut to black.
and later—maybe not next episode‚ maybe the viewers are left to stew for a bit—dean calls sam and tells him what he did. that the people sam risked his life to save are dead. sam ended up not making a difference at all. and the most fucked up part is that he sounds exactly like regular dean as he says all this—using the same slang and chirpy tone like he’s talking about music. and in that same cheerful tone, he warns sam not to try ordering him around ever again.
dean enjoyed being a hunter, he enjoyed the heroism and simplicity of killing bad guys and saving good guys. now, with the first blade making him crave blood? without that pesky conscience? he doesn’t much care about good or bad anymore. he cares that this guy still sees him as his poor, tragic brother, and is still trying to save him, so killing the people that this guy just saved? it’s fun. it’s funny. this guy is annoying him with this ‘i know you’re in there’ talk but this is him, and he likes it, and he likes watching sam fret over fragile, insignificant humans because sam is just as pathetic
#i still have many thoughts about this#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#deanmon#demon!dean#castiel#aj abstractions#also#for the record‚ it would have also been really cool if dean had just stayed a demon and they’d like... rehabilitated him#like crowley and meg#they still had self-serving impulses but both of them ended up downright heroic by the time they went out#in fifteen seasons i’m surprised we never got a monster hunter who was a demon#dean would’ve had the power to resist so many threats‚ but he also would’ve become more vulnerable to several others‚ like devil’s traps#i just think that could’ve been super cool#plus that way the journey to un-demon-ify him could have taken a whole season#one half to rehabilitate him and one half to actually make him human again or something
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trans headcanons of the winchesters are always extremely fun to play around with and i can see most of them. but one that always rings slightly false to me, despite a love for it due to self-identification and the fact it’s definitely interesting, is transmasculine dean. simply because if you’re going according to canon this would require him to have transitioned at some point prior to johns death, probably much prior, probably as a youngish kid. and i genuinely do not think that ever could’ve happened. he values johns approval too much and is too scared of demanding too much of him.
like even aside from whether john is Actually transphobic (i doubt he’s like Cartoonishly transphobic he probably would be annoyed by it slash not care much, interpret ‘not caring’ however you want) just the whole Thing of coming out where you’re like. “Hey dad im actually a human person who has an internal sense of self and such that doesn’t happen to be You 2.0 and am not the gender you thought i was and i feel emotions to such an extent that i actually like need to transition”…….
no fucking way dean would ever be able to do that to john while he’s still alive. please. teenage transmasculine dean would be like Well yeah sure i want to be a guy but that’s not an option for me whatsofuckingever. and crucially he’d be like that even if he knew entirely about trans people. now this is why transfemme dean works so well. because you just know it would take her at least thirty years to even consider it for a singular second.
on the other hand transmasc sam works so well because you can picture teenage transmasculine sam realising he’s a boy and promptly making it part of the whole entirely justified and very cool and fun teen angst rebellion FUCK YOU DAD thing. he could let spite carry him to the point of coming out. dean? he is burying that shit deep.
#Idk there’s still stuff to play with i find really interesting#at the end of the day it’s like. canonly dean buries everything about himself and just takes on the shape of his dad dads music dads car#dads jacket dads anger etc-#dean is expected to be a certain way. and he becomes very good at that certain way#he’s playing the role his father decided for him long after his fathers dead#i think a theoretically transmasc dean while still just as determined to prove himself and like. into hunting and probably vaguely the#machismo of it all too like canon dean. i think he would still very much as a teenager play into the whole eldest daughter mary 2.0 (more#than in canon he’s already mary 2.0 but he’s also meant to be john 2.0)#like transmasc dean would bury it and keep performing badass Tough Chick femininity#obviously after transitioning he’d be just like canon dean but he’d have to get to the point of transitioning first Which would take foreve#dean conforms to the role john expects he does what he thinks is needed of him#hence why it’s so hard to imagine a younger him transitioning. transition is a deviation from that tightly plotted role#Hence why in canon maybe transitioning would save her because it would inherently mean she’s gotten over some shit!#ANYWAY. gender in spn is so interesting#dean winchester#trans dean winchester#I still love transmasc headcanons though ofc#spn#oliver talks
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like. okay. i have no real horse in the race of “which brother is the secret bad abuser” because the show does not actually care about that or think that either of them is actually treating each other that badly (except for when sam get manipulated, which is always his own fault and he should suffer for it /s)
but what i will say is that the way dean is written sometimes manages to make me more uncomfortable than any of the villains on this show. dean scares me. completely unintentionally, they did write a guy who only gets Worse over time, and it’s compelling, and it’s upsetting for me to watch.
#I don’t really mean this as a criticism because To Me it is just like. a part of the show.#it’s a feature. perhaps a Bethesda’s bug of a feature but. it’s a feature.#dean’s change in character feels natural. watching him get worse feels like the logical conclusion of where he’s going.#(the logical conclusion could also have been ‘dean makes an effort to not be so controlling’ but they didn’t do that. they leaned into it.)#so it isn’t much like. say. Lucifer. Lucifer is a character who just flips. motivations and character completely changed.#so disregarding his later appearances just? makes sense? to me anyway. that’s Not My Wife#but Dean’s character degradation is completely different in that it builds on what’s already there.#and whenever I write him I feel the need to. idk. grapple with that. with that potential to become Worse.#he is controlling! he doesn’t ever really trust sam that much post-s5! he does treat Cas his best friend like he doesn’t matter unless#he’s acting more human! these are just facts about him that show up long before the later seasons and idk! Dean is! he’s a lot!#he and Lucifer have a lot alike in the way that they’re driven mostly by love. and that love can easily go rotten. and it’s terrifying.#spn#dean winchester#sry watching s6 makes me think about. things.#actually no. not sorry. I’m going to get worse about this if I keep watching so stay tuned.
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One of Dean's most frustrating trait for me is that he's against immortality and has these idea of what's 'natural' 'what's dead should be dead' etc (sam excluded ofc) This is why while he'll go and sacrifice himself to save Sam he'd never be like 'oh hey if we do this spell, dead Sam can come back and live in my brain and both our spirits can live in the same body' or some freaky shit like that, if he ever ran into something like that and thought it was the only option to save Sam he'd just book it out of his own body so that Sam can have it. whereas Sam would be like fuck yeah this is a great first step before I find a better way to get him back and as we know from canon would be willing to have innocent people die so Dean can stay alive
#Dean's like I have to save Sam always that's my job and whatever happens to me to achieve it doesn't matter. but is also. not shameful but#like. he failed and he's paying for it#whereas Sam is like I have to save Dean because I WANT and need Dean with me and whatever I have to do to achieve it not only doesn't matte#but it's the right thing to do. all bets are off. nothing is sacred#and the second one is so much more relatable for me <3#spn#Sam has great self restraint bc I would've gone the 'become a vampire and turn dean into vampire' route immediately if the other#things didn't work. also when dean's like 'someone died so i didn't :/ we have to investigate' Sam's like maybe it's a coincidence can we#just not question it and then is like sigh fine we will whereas if that were me I'd have been like 'SO?? one person for one person?? we kil#monsters ALL THE TIME anyway'#I think I might be a Sam girl bc I'm just like well if Dean just listened to Sam and let Sam do the necessary atrocities#everything would be fine#I'M ON S1 AND REWATCH SO I MIGHT BE WRONG but if i'm wrong about sam in this it's probably just bad writing
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speaking of tfw2.0 every time i see titkok edits or tfw2.0 discussion posts here with a significant lack of jack in them I just kinda sorta
#*dark knight voice* WHERE IS HE ‼️‼️‼️ WHERE IS HE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#spn fans truly do not see tfw2.0 as an actual full unit more than they see it as 3 men and a baby#I’d put my foot up y’alls asses if your heads weren’t already in the way#spn#supernatural#spn edits#team free will 2.0#tfw2.0 edits#even eviltfw2.0 isn’t safe y’all just can’t let go of ur ableist baby notion with jack#HE LITERALLY BECOMES PSYCHOTIC AND UNSTABLE BUT OKAYY WHATEVER#have to do everything myself#jack kline#sam winchester#dean winchester#castiel#so many integral discussions that he is simply not a part of when he simply should be . like the entire cycle of abuse thing. come oonnnnn#urgh#cannot be too bitter when im meeting him tomorrow I suppos .#onto better things#!#spn critical#well it’s more fandom critical than actual show#fandom critical#yea there we go
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is there literally anyone left in this godforsaken place who understands that bisexuality is not a pitstop on the way to being gay. it is not halfway to gay. "at least bi." no. "bi at minimum" n.o. bisexuality is a queerness unto itself.
"it's not bisexual erasure" listen to me, if you have to put as much effort into explaining away his attraction to women to prove that he's gay as other people have to put into explaining away his attraction to men to prove that he's straight it's because he is BISEXUAL.
#this post brought to you by every time Dean Winchester gets flustered over women#just like he gets flustered over men#“his attraction to women is performative” yes!#it is!#the same way his love of Baby and rock music and pie is performative!#not all performances are without truth#“he stopped sleeping around once he had Cas”#this may come as a surprise to you but#bisexuals don't stop being bisexual when they become committed to one person#“he treats women respectfully when he's not putting on a show” it is possible to treat women respectfully even you're attracted to them#“he's not attracted to every woman on the show” he's not attracted to every man on the show either#fuck sake.#/rant over#i am tired#and i keep trying to bring new folk onto my dash so i can enjoy more of this show they i love#but like 9/10 times now i have to unfollow because it seems like everyone is jumping on this bandwagon#don't get me wrong i too love a good gay!Dean headcanon#but Dean is canonically bisexual#anyway probably zero people will see this which would be honestly for the best#but just in case if you 1 post destiel 2 know dean is bi 3 didnt love finale 4 believe ship and let ship PLZ shout out so i can follow you
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I wish spn handled its monsters better. I wish spn knew how to cope with having 2 leads be monsters. I feel like so many of the things about this show that make me want to scream would be fixed if the writers didn’t think they needed their monster characters to be de-powered in order to be ‘good’
#I feel like I’ve cracked the code on this#Anyways I personally always took sams side on the whole monster debate#Being a ‘monster’ doesn’t make you inherently evil. Your /choices/ make you evil#but the way the show works structurally speaking#means that monsters will always be /framed/ as evil#bc the writers didn’t understand that you could have a full powered ‘monster’ be on the good team#Therefore in season 4 - when Sam is as powerful as he ever gets - Sam is sorta framed as an antagonist for dean#in season 6 when cas is a full-power angel - cas becomes the antagonist for the season#All this means that because Dean is the one of them who’s fully /human/#he’s almost always leading the charge on the ‘good’ team and therefore becomes the POV character#And then his decisions are inherently framed as being /good/ bc ‘oh no sammy has powers and we need to have him be antagonistic’#‘Otherwise the plot of the season gets resolved in 2 seconds bc if Sam is full-powered and also /good/ he could just instakill Lilith’#‘And we have no 22 episode arc’#<- from the perspective of the writers#and I get it#I /see/ what they’re doing#but I wish they’d tried to be a little more creative#bc the message that ends up getting put forth is that monsters actually /are/ evil and Sam is wrong and Dean is always perfect#(despite dean making WILDLY awful decisions)#And god#poor fucking cas#this whole ‘either you’re evil or your de-powered’ shit REALLY does a number on him#lea speaks
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