#he’s a caring boy and i won’t have any of you slander his name

[soulless-bex]

in which Jason helped raise Damian while in the League but no one knows. Damian never mentioned it because he was told that it was important to keep it a secret when he first was sent to Gotham because Jason was “undercover” and later on both are way too emotionally constipated to admit to their father/son-ish relationship

but it’s also still obvious there’s something there after the family reconciles because Damian, without even realizing he’s doing it, tends to orbit around Jason when he’s around and seek him out for approval/confort/help/whatever. Jason too is unusually mindful of Damian.

but no one truly realizes what’s going on between them because honestly, without evidence, coming to the conclusion that Talia had Bruce’s dead teenage son raise Bruce’s infant son while she was training both of them to become assassins is incredibly surreal. and mostly everyone just avoids the subject of what happened with Jason between him dying and him coming back to Gotham

(bonus point if Damian still has a parental relationship with Bruce and Dick but Jason still is his number one parent and remains undefeated despite literally all of his other parental figures efforts to have a better relationship with him)

[satansapostle6]

Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten: Rendezvous

Lorelei sat at Draco and the boys’ end of the Slytherin table with Theo, watching Pansy Parkinson intently. Lorelei was beginning to truly hate Pansy. At first, Pansy’s efforts to ruin her reputation by slandering her to quite literally anyone who would listen didn’t bother her much. They were pathetic, and she saw them as such. But at this point, Lorelei was truly growing tired of Pansy’s childish schemes.

First, there was the rumor Pansy had started that Lorelei’s parents were going bankrupt. Then, there was the ridiculous rumor that she had been born with a pig tail. Then, there was the attempt to break up Lorelei and Theo by getting Harry Potter to confess his love for her after their kiss the year before. But now, the attempts to break up her and Theo were becoming even more relentless.

Most recently, Pansy had actually convinced some of the Slytherins and other students that Lorelei was cheating on Theo with Neville Longbottom. This, of course, was a hilarious rumor to spread for everyone except for Neville Longbottom, who had regrettably turned bright red when he had first heard the rumor himself. Lorelei would have been furious about this most recent attempt had she not already worked out her issues regarding the sensitive topic with Theo.

Luckily, Theo no longer exhibited much jealousy or insecurity, whether it be in response to an obvious joke like her cheating with Neville, or the idea of her being attracted to or involved with Draco Malfoy. Theo had expressed to Lorelei on many accounts that he had realized how unfair his paranoia had been to her, which made things much less complicated for her. But still, Pansy Parkinson needed to be dealt with, and soon.

“Don’t pay her any mind,” Theo encouraged her, reading her mind.

Lorelei just looked at him, unconvinced.

“She’s making me seem stupid, and weak,” she glared at the girl. “I don’t like seeming weak.”

“And you won’t, for long,” Theo promised her, pressing a comforting kiss to the top of her head. “I’ve already taken care of it.”

“‘Taken care of it’?” she echoed, unable to let it go.

“Yes,” Theodore nodded, eating his meal with an air of excitement about him.

Lorelei raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

“What have you done?” she asked eagerly.

“Nothing yet,” he shrugged. “Just… put out some feelers.”

“‘Feelers’ for what?” she questioned.

“You’ll see,” Theo chuckled, looking upon her with fondness.

He cupped her chin in his fingers, pressing an affectionate kiss on her lips before returning to his lunch.

*****

After classes were over, Lorelei went with Theo out into the corridor, where she found Professor Moody waiting for her. Theo just looked at her emptily as she saw him.

“Morrigan. I need to speak to you for a moment. Privately,” Moody told her, cocking his head towards Theo uncomfortably.

Theo nodded, disappearing. Lorelei followed Moody, as they ducked behind a corner where they knew no one could overhear.

“What is it?” Lorelei questioned.

“Nott. Does he know?” Crouch Jr. demanded, with no sense of social norm, or decorum.

“Know about what?” she specified.

“My father,” he growled.

“No,” Lorelei said truthfully. “I kept it from him.”

“Good,” Barty Crouch Jr. nodded, “Because he can’t know.”

“Alright,” Lorelei agreed.

“No, Morrigan, he can’t… know,” he warned her. “He can’t know what the plan for the Third Task is.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not sharing the honor of resurrecting the Dark Lord with two people.

“Why are you sharing it with one?” she asked brazenly.

“Because, I like your father, and I like you,” he told her. “I don’t know Nott. Make sure he doesn’t ask questions about the Third Task. Understood?” Crouch stated. “We don’t need him anymore. Cut him out.”

“I will,” Lorelei promised.

“I have your word?” he asked, eyes drilling into hers.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Good…” he leaned in, taking a swig of Polyjuice potion before continuing. “Because if he gets in our way, I’ll kill you too.”

“Understood,” Lorelei promised, fully willing to comply.

Moody disappeared just as Lorelei returned to Theo, with a hardened resolve.

“What’d he want?” he asked her.

“Nothing important,” she lied.

It seemed she had no choice now. It was either betray Theodore Nott, or betray Barty Crouch Jr., the man who killed his own father.

“Come with me,” Theo told her, leading her outside to the courtyard. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” Lorelei said, pleasantly surprised.

“Yes… Come along.”

He took her hand, leading her outside, under the shade looking out into the courtyard. No one else was standing there.

“What’s the surprise?” Lorelei asked him.

“Just wait,” Theo leaned in to speak to her, as the two waited patiently.

They stood under the roof together until Lorelei saw a Slytherin boy come walking toward them, repeatedly looking around, appearing anxious as he approached them. This seemed to be who Theo was waiting on. Lorelei watched with a burning curiosity as the boy walked up to Theo, obviously not planning on staying long.

“Michael,” Theo greeted him.

“Theodore,” the boy said curtly. “Have you got my money?”

Theo nodded, tossing him a small sack of gold. They watched as he opened it, checking it carefully before agreeing on the exchange of goods. The Slytherin boy, Michael, quickly reached into his coat, pulling out an envelope, tossing it to Theo. He opened it, unfolding the piece of parchment within and quickly scanning it. He grinned as he found what he was looking for, looking up at Michael.

“Well done,” he concluded.

Michael nodded quickly, looking around before making his way back inside as quickly as possible. Lorelei looked up at her boyfriend, unable to wait much longer.

“What is it?” she asked him.

“The key to your revenge,” Theo replied pleasantly, handing her the parchment.

Lorelei took it from him, giving him a look as she slowly read through it.

“What is this?” she asked him.

“A letter. Intercepted from Pansy Parkinson,” he told her.

“This is from Pansy’s mother,” Lorelei deduced. “She has a dress on hold. In Hogsmeade,” she laughed at the opportunity.

“Exactly,” Theo nodded. “The most important part of any event to a girl like Pansy; the outfit. You could buy it. Or destroy it.”

“I’ve got an even better idea,” she assured him. “Just you wait.”

“I love how you look when you’re plotting,” Theo grinned.

She giggled enthusiastically as she was convinced she’d thought of the perfect way to put Pansy in her place forever.

*****

That night, Lorelei and Theo sat with Draco and Blaise Zabini in the common room, chatting here and there. Lorelei had decided to go off to bed earlier than the others, feeling tired.

“Goodnight,” Lorelei said softly, kissing Theo.

“Goodnight, beautiful,” he said softly, smiling as she headed off to the girls’ dormitories.

Draco looked up at her, sneering as he decided he’d stir things up with Theodore Nott. He figured it had been a while since he’d seen a good Theo fit.

“Lorelei,” he called, as the others looked at him. “I’ll walk you to your dorm,” he offered chivalrously, eyeing Theo as he got up to accompany her.

Lorelei just nodded politely, agreeing as he joined her. They went down the hall off to the girls’ dormitories, as Theo and Blaise just watched from the common room.

“You know Theo won’t like this,” Lorelei remarked as they walked down the corridor together.

It was dimly lit by a soft emerald green light from the Black Lake above them.

“I don’t care what Nott likes. All that matters is what I like,” Draco Malfoy assured her.

“And what do you like?” she asked in turn.

Draco grinned as he walked alongside her. “I like you.”

Lorelei stopped in her tracks, raising an eyebrow at his boldness.

“Me?”

“You,” he confirmed, looking down at her, eyes lingering over every feature of her face. “And I know you like me too.”

“And how do you know that?” Lorelei demanded suspiciously.

“Because you’d hardly humor me if you didn’t,” he murmured.

“I have Theo. Why would I need you?” she asked softly, looking through him as if he didn’t matter.

Draco chuckled at her persistence, taking a step towards her. She nearly pulled away as he cupped her face in his hand, his cold blue eyes locked onto hers.

“You need me, because he bores you,” Draco told her.

“Theo’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met,” Lorelei said truthfully.

“And yet, you’ve still deceived him,” he reasoned.

Lorelei looked up at him with widened eyes, knowing he couldn’t have meant the things she’d truly been keeping from Theo.

“I’ve deceived him?” she echoed.

“You have him fooled. About how you feel, and what you are,” he insisted. “He doesn’t know you. Not the real you… You thought he was like you, but he was just another one who fell for your facade. And face it; that bores you,” Draco tsked softly.

“Does it?” Lorelei asked softly.

“You know it does,” he answered. “You need someone who sees you. The real you.”

“And you think you know the real me?” Lorelei asked in disgust.

“I see what matters,” he remarked lightly. “I see the way you look at him. And I see the way you look at me.”

“Please, I hardly notice you,” she scoffed.

“I think you notice me enough,” he provided.

“Believe what you want to believe.”

“You can pretend all you want. I’m a pretender too,” Draco pointed out. “I lie to people just as much as you do. I think you want someone who understands that. What it’s like, to have to sort through personalities every conversation you have.”

“Convenient that you think you know what I want, and it’s you,” Lorelei said coldly.

“Lie to me, and yourself all you want. I see you. I see everything,” Draco said lightly, mockingly toying with a strand of her hair as he spoke. “I see your beautiful hair, your enchanting eyes, and your perfect skin. I’d give you the world.”

“You’re insane if you think you’re stealing me away from Theo,” she told him.

“Oh, it won’t be stealing,” Draco promised her. “You‘ll be mine. Soon enough. And I won’t have to do anything. You’ll know how much you want me. It’s inevitable.”

“You’re a fucking lunatic,” Lorelei scoffed.

Draco grinned, hand cupping the side of her neck as he leaned in to whisper something to her, a smug grin on his face.

“And you’re a fucking bitch,” he grinned, somehow still flirting.

Lorelei stopped for a moment, shaking her head in disbelief as she went into her dorm room and closed the door in his face. Draco just chuckled to himself as he returned to the common room, only to find Theo standing alone in the middle of the empty room.

“What’s going on?” Draco questioned, looking around. “Where’s Blaise?”

Theo came toward him with an angry expression on his face. Draco was knocked to the ground as Theo punched him in the face, positioning himself over him before he could get up.

“I told him to go off to bed,” Theo replied, pinning Draco to the ground.

“Did you hear me and Lorelei?!” Draco questioned.

“No,” Theo responded, “I just assumed you said something piggish.”

“Hardly,” Draco scoffed at him. “I think I was a perfect gentleman. She’ll choose me soon enough,” he laughed, earning him a straightforward slap in the face this time.

Theo scowled at him before getting up, straightening his coat and properly rolling up his sleeves.

“Hmm,” he huffed, before heading off to bed himself.

Draco was left speechless on the ground, touching a hand to his cheek as he sat up, wondering if he’d have a bruise. He scowled spitefully, plotting his revenge as stormed off to bed.

*****

The Slytherins fourth year and older were all ecstatic once the Yule Ball was announced in celebration of the Triwizard Tournament. It was announced in an unusual gathering of the Slytherin students with Professor Snape in the dungeons, in an uncomfortable turn of events consisting of Snape being forced to demonstrate to the students what a proper waltz looked like, with the help of Madam Pince, who seemed equally uncomfortable during the affair.

Lorelei couldn’t help but laugh along with all the others throughout the entire thing. Theo was also amused, although he couldn’t help but keep glancing over at Draco on the other side of the wall where they stood. Draco hadn’t been able to stop looking in Lorelei’s direction, and he eventually began doing it intentionally just to bother Theo. However, Draco Malfoy wasn’t the only one plotting.

Once the students were all set free to choose their own dancing partners before the end of the strange free period, Pansy Parkinson, surprisingly, made an automatic beeline for Theodore Nott.

“Hello, Theo,” Pansy said in a sickly sweet voice before he could get between Draco and Lorelei.

“Pansy,” Theo said curtly.

“Care to dance?” Pansy attempted.

“No,” he replied automatically.

Pansy pouted childishly. “Why?!”

“Because I don’t feel like contracting something,” he said loudly, before abandoning her in front of their entire House.

“I wish my boyfriend would talk to other girls like that,” one of the girls muttered.

“May I have this dance?” Draco asked Lorelei just as Theo came up behind him.

“No, you may not,” Lorelei scoffed, turning to Theo. “Shall we?”

“Yes, love,” Theo nodded, gladly taking her hand as they made their way to the center of the floor.

They both smiled, dancing a graceful waltz as many of the others watched.

“You’re a fair dancer,” Lorelei commented as Theo spun her effortlessly.

“My aunt taught me,” he shared. “Said my mother loved to dance.”

Lorelei did her best to smile, glancing nervously behind Theo at Draco, who just stood on the wall brooding beside Crabbe and Goyle. He ignored every single one of Pansy’s many advances, eyes locked on Lorelei as he just stood there.

“Lorelei?” Theo said finally.

“Hmm?”

She looked up at her boyfriend readily.

“Will you do me the honor of attending the Yule Ball with me?”

“Of course I will,” she smiled, hooking her arm around his neck.

Theo shared in her happiness, a hint of triumph on his face. He leaned down to kiss her, lips meeting hers in front of everyone in the room, including and especially Draco Malfoy.

*****

That night, Lorelei retired to her dorm room to find a piece of parchment hidden beneath her pillow. Frowning, she picked it up to find that it was actually a note, from Draco. Of course, she thought as she read it.

Meet me in the Owlery at 10:30.

- D.M.

Lorelei just sighed, looking at the clock beside her bed. 10:06. She knew it’d be better to just go. She arrived at the Owlery at approximately 10:30, invisible as she walked in. As usual, Draco was already there, waiting for her. She sighed as she undid her Invisibility Charm, appearing before him as she came up the stairs.

“You came,” he stared.

“You probably would’ve tormented Theo until I agreed,” she remarked.

“That I would’ve,” he agreed, “But you don’t care about him.”

“You don’t know what, or who, I care about,” Lorelei said defensively.

“Why don’t you show me then?” he questioned.

The look she gave him was unimpressed, at the very least.

“That’s not what I meant,” Draco said humorously.

“Then get on with it.”

He just chuckled, doing as she asked. “I just wanted to ask you a question. That’s all,” he promised.

“And what is it?” she asked.

“Simple. I came to throw my own card in the ring,” he replied.

Lorelei frowned, waiting for an explanation.

“I came to ask you to be my date to the ball,” Draco said finally.

“You know I couldn’t if I wanted to, and I don’t,” she reminded him.

“Well, you can’t say that for sure, because I haven’t asked yet,” Draco argued.

She watched, skeptical of him as he actually bent down on one knee, as if the theatrics hadn’t gone far enough. Lorelei looked down at him with disdain, unable to believe what she was seeing.

“Lorelei Ackerley Morrigan,” Draco began ceremoniously, earning a strange look from her.

“How do you know my middle name?” she questioned.

“I have my ways,” he replied, ignoring the interruption. “Lorelei Ackerley Morrigan. Will you allow me to be your escort to the ball?” Draco asked, on one knee as he looked up at her.

Lorelei opened her mouth to say ‘no’ once again, but he stopped her before she could, unwilling to hear it.

“I don’t need an answer now,” he stopped her. “Just… At the very latest, come find me at the ball. I’ll wait for you,” he promised, a hint of desperation in his eyes.

“You shouldn’t,” Lorelei warned him.

“Probably not,” he agreed. “But, I look at everyone else, and I see nothing but pale imitations of you.”

“Theo’s going to punch you in the face,” she realized.

Draco just smiled at her, gently touching a hand to the slight bruise that had appeared on his cheek.

“He already has. And I’m still here,” he informed her.

Lorelei looked at him incredulously, surprised she hadn’t heard anything about this from Theo.

“He did that?” she asked.

“I’d let him do it again and again if it meant I could kiss you just once,” Draco said ruthlessly, his blue eyes lingering on her for a moment. “Goodnight, Lorelei.”

She watched in disbelief as he disappeared, leaving her alone for a moment as she tried to put the encounter out of her head. She’d thought Theodore Nott was the darkest soul she’d ever met, but somehow, Draco’s blind recklessness was even more fascinating.

-

Chapter Eleven

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Got one. Trainer reader x FNF Poképasta trainers where reader is a jolly cook that owns their own bakery that makes delicious pastries. There’s rumors that the reader kills and uses other Pokémon/people in their cooking as ingredients which may or may not (definitely is) true. The reader is currently on a journey to improve their cooking (while still using Pokémon and people as ingredients). They don’t chop up the Poképasta trainers but they do offer them their cooking. The reader’s main Pokémon are Scizor and Decidueye. It’s all platonic, of course.

Grey

The poor kid doesn’t suspect a thing, especially when he gets out of the game, meets you, and begins experiencing hunger again. 

Of course he’d try your cooking! He’d give anything to have a sweet treat again..and boy were you delighted to make one for him (a simple apple pie) especially when you see his eyes light up.

“Wow..this tastes pretty awesome! And uh..it’s got some tartness to it, too. If I-I could ask..what’s in it?”

“Oh, just a lot of love and care......and parts of a Flapple and Appletun.”

“Cool---wait..” He stops, confused for a moment, before smiling nervously. “Haha, y-you mean uh..those sweet and tart apples that make ‘em evolve..r-right?”

“No.” You smile innocently before going into great detail about how your Decidueye shot a Flapple out of the sky, and your Scizor severed an Appletun’s back for its nectar and pie crust during a trip to Galar.

To say he’s shocked that you killed those Pokémon so brutally was an understatement. He's horrified.

Yet...he likes the food and feels somewhat guilty for eating it.

What truly made him lose his appetite is when you casually mentioned making a witness to both hunts “disappear”.

Shinto, on the other hand, could care less about your crimes and is a frequent customer of yours. She'll forcibly drag Grey to your bakery.

Glitchy Red

Like Grey, when he's out of his game he starts feeling hunger.

So when you meet him on one of your journeys (you dress like a vendor NPC but certainly don't act like one, thank god), you invite him to your bakery.

He notices a lot of the pastries are named after Pokémon (ie Flapple Pie, Banana Alcremie Pie, etc.) and initially thinks nothing of it. It seems like a normal innocent bakery...

Until he sees your Decidueye cleaning blood off the floor that trails to the back kitchen and turns to you saying “you kill people"--not posing it as a question, but as a statement

“...nah, folks are just trying to slander my bakery's good name.” You wave him off even though it’s in fact true.

Earlier today, you had a dissatisfied customer and decided to give them a “tour” of your kitchen to see how things are prepped.

In the end, they and their Pokémon proved to be excellent ingredients for today’s special.

Glitchy wasn’t fazed by the blood nor your dark secrets.

You teasingly reassure him that you won’t chop him up, but he doesn’t seem to get the joke as he glares at you and says “if you come near me with that knife, I’ll kill you.”

Despite that, he’ll visit you from time to time, just to see what’s new on the menu or hang out with your Pokémon while he eats.

He never really saw any outside of Kanto because his game was so broken, so he’s intrigued by your Decidueye the most, especially when he witness it shoot a distant Fearow with a single arrow.

Steven

Steven and Mike were frequent customers when you opened up a shop in Kanto. 

Miki especially loved the Pokepuffs you sold, as did the rest of their Pokemon. They stopped around so often you knew all of their names!

But after a certain series of tragic incidents, the Charizard had a crazed appetite for meat..and so you’d feed her strips of Lechonk or Swinub bacon. You had plenty to spare...along with ham not made from any Pokémon.

When Steven eventually explains why Mike stopped visiting, you just had this gentle smile on your face, reassuring him it’s okay..because you’ve killed people, too.

He’s in utter disbelief. But only because he went crazy after killing just one person, yet you’ve murdered for your business?? Even training your own Pokémon to carry out the dirty work??? And yet somehow...you seem perfectly guilt-free.

He assumed Missingno influenced you somehow. Maybe during the time he was gone, your business was failing and you struck up a deal with it like he did.

But..you just look at him like “what are you talking about? I’ve been doing this for years.”

“...so you were always this way, and..we never knew?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m gonna chop you or Miki up. I can see you two share a good bond, like I do with Decidueye and Scizor.”

Lost Silver

You meet him in some dark cavern, along with AWAY, and think ‘wow, both of them look like fresh meat.’

Of course, you won’t say that to this kid since he looked like a corpse who was frozen and then thawed out. Neither of them would be appetizing anyway; not to mention he obviously had supernatural powers beyond using Pokémon.

So you do befriend him, learning his name and inviting him to your bakery in the nearby town.

At first Gold was reluctant, but one night while you’re closing, he pops in unexpectedly. He would’ve startled you (though not on purpose) if it weren’t for Scizor noticing him right away and trying to scare him off.

“Hey, don’t worry, Sy! He’s welcomed here.”

It turns out he just wanted some company and try your desserts, but was nervous about going with you in broad daylight.

Despite knowing you actually hunt Pokémon (and maybe people) for ingredients, him and his own team like the food!

It reminds him of what his mom used to make and...he kinda has a meltdown about it. You worry that you've upset him somehow.

But he’s okay! You just indirectly brought back one of his good memories.

Since then, you made sure he was welcomed back to your bakery any time of day.

[sturchling]

I loved the Avengers story you wrote!! I hope it's not too much to ask for another so soon, but I had this idea. What if Peter goes on a trip with Tony to France while he does some work, but on the condition that he has to go to school. So he goes to Dupont. He ends up in Bustier's class as a temporary student, not mentioning he's there with Tony Stark, but mentions he's from NYC. Lila takes that as a cue to start lying about knowing Tony Stark. Peter is not amused. Nor is Tony. Who sues her.

Sorry this took so long! Got so busy out of no where and then the rainy season started! But here you go! Hope you like it!

Peter was very excited today. Mr. Stark was going to Paris for some business for the next several weeks and Peter had convinced Mr. Stark to let him come too. Peter had never been to France and had always really wanted to go. He spent days convincing Mr. Stark, telling him that it would be a good educational opportunity to learn about France and to practice his French. Of course, Tony had always intended on Peter coming with him, not that he ever would tell the kid that. Tony had found Peter's attempts at convincing him pretty funny actually. Tony 'relented' and said Peter could come, on the condition that he attend a school while they are there, since they would be there for several weeks. Peter eagerly agreed and the pair started looking into potential schools for Peter.

---------------------

The two wanted to make sure that they choose a school with an excellent curriculum and was a fantastic school for peter. After a while, they found one school that looked particularly promising. Francois Dupont. All the students seemed to excel in their studies and the school had classes for several diverse interests. Peter was especially interested in Mrs. Mendeleiev, seeing as she is the science teacher. Once they had decided on this school, Tony started filing paperwork to temporarily transfer Peter to this school. Peter was soon accepted to Francois Dupont and got his class assignment. He had been placed in Mrs. Bustier's class. Soon, Tony and Peter were ready to leave for Paris and were on the way to the airport.

-------------------

Peter had arrived early at Francois Dupont for his first day at the school. He was now sitting in the principal's, Mr. Damocles' office, and the principal was going over some of the rules for the school. After a while, the door opened behind Peter and a smaller girl with dark hair walked in. "Ah, Peter, this is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the class rep for Mrs. Bustier's class. Miss Dupain-Cheng, thank you for coming. This is Peter Parker. He has temporarily transferred into your class and as class rep, I would like you to show him around the school." The girl, Marinette, smiled at Peter. "Of course Mr. Damocles. It is nice to meet you Peter! Lets go, I'll show you around." Peter got his bag and followed after Marinette, glad to be free of the rambling principal.

-------------------

Marinette did a fantastic job of showing Peter the school and telling him about the members of the class. Peter had been given a class roster when he arrived, with the names of his new classmates. While Marinette had spoken highly of almost the entire class, she had clearly avoided talking about one student in particular. All Marinette had said about Lila Rossi was that she was a transfer student from Italy. That is it. She had gone on and on about all the other students and their interests and achievements. But she was obviously avoiding discussing Lila, and that didn't escape Peter's notice. He did wonder why Marinette didn't talk about her, and was a bit hesitant about this Lila. If a nice girl like Marinette won't talk about her, maybe this Lila wasn't too nice herself. Peter didn't want to judge her without meeting her, but he would be careful when he did.

-----------------

Peter was sitting in the classroom now. Marinette and he were sitting on a bench towards the back of the room. He really liked Marinette and the two quickly became friends, talking about random things and Peter told her all about New York. The classroom was still mostly empty with only a few other students there. The students that were there had already come to talk to him and welcome him to the class. Then he felt Marinette stiffen next to him. Peter looked over and saw her staring at the door. When he glanced over, he saw a girl had just walked in. This girl had long brown hair in three different ponytails, one at the back and two at the front. She seemed very confident and as soon as she walked in, practically the whole class gathered around her. This girl must be Lila, based on Marinette's reaction. Lila focused in on Peter almost instantly. As she approached his desk with a fake smile on her face, Peter started to understand why Marinette may not like this girl.

-------------------

Lila noticed the new boy immediately when she walked in the room. He was reasonably handsome, and he was a new person to trick. So he had Lila's undivided attention. She was sure she could have him under her spell by lunch. She walked over to the desk he was sitting at, next to little miss goody two shoes Marinette, with her most dazzling smile. "Hi, my name is Lila. Who are you?" Peter smiled tightly at Lila, trying not to judge her based on that very fake smile of hers. "My name is Peter Parker. I have transferred here temporarily from New York." Lila didn't let her smile fail her. But him only being here temporarily is hardly worth the effort on her part. After all, he would leave eventually, and then she couldn't use him in any way. But he could be good practice for her lies anyway. Besides, she has plenty of lies that should work for a New Yorker. Lila prepared for her next performance, not realizing it was the first step in her downfall.

------------------

"You are from New York? I love New York! I visit there from time to time when my mother's work brings her there. I have a lot of friends there. I even know Tony Stark." That made Peter pause. She knew Mr. Stark? He had never mentioned a Lila or knowing anyone in Paris. It was clear to Peter that this girl was nothing but a liar. He wanted to see how far she would go with this story, and he was sure Mr. Stark would want to know as well. "You know Tony Stark? Really?" Lila saw that Peter was interested so she grabbed on to this story and continued. "Yeah! He is so sweet. He thinks of me like a daughter and sometimes I even get to stay at Stark Tower with him. I've helped him work out some of the problems with a few of his inventions. I've even given some input into his latest Iron Man suit design. There was even this one time that I helped him catch some criminals when he was acting as Iron Man. It was super cool! I could probably introduce you to him sometime if you like?" Peter was genuinely shocked by all the lies this girl just told. There was no way she actually knew Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark would never need her help with his inventions or the Iron Man suit. And he certainly wouldn't involve a random civilian girl in his fights as Iron Man. Peter just nodded and mumbled a thank you, before the class mercifully started and he was left alone. Marinette leaned over and apologized about Lila, but Peter was too busy thinking about what to do to say anything.

---------------------

At the end of the day, Peter went back to the hotel he and Mr. Stark are staying and went straight to Mr. Stark's room. Peter had spoken with Marinette about the liar and asked about everything that she had lied about. He told Mr. Stark everything that happened with the liar, and everything she had said about him. Mr. Stark was angry that this random girl was trying to use him for gain. Tony didn't tolerate this kind of thing at all. If this girl wanted to lie about him, she would find out why that is a bad idea. Tony got on the phone and started speaking to his lawyer. This Lila would regret the day she lied about him.

---------------------

The next day, Peter was sitting in class waiting for the chaos to start. He knew that Mr. Stark was coming, and that he was going to take down the liar. The liar in question was holding court down at the front of the room. She was slightly disappointed that her lies didn't seem to work too well on Peter, but it hardly mattered since he would leave eventually. He just better not try to reveal her or she would make his life difficult for the whole time he is here. About half way through the class, the door to the room slammed open, and in walked Tony Stark. He walked straight to the center of the class, and his lawyers followed, surrounding him. Peter suppressed a smile, Mr. Stark was fond of his grand entrances.

---------------

Tony looked around at the class, before zeroing in on the girl that Peter had described to him. He took off his glasses, while the class just stared at him stunned. "Lila Rossi, I have heard you have been telling lies about me. What is this nonsense I heard about you helping me with my inventions and suit? I have never met you in my life, and I certainly wouldn't need your help with my work. And you said that I put you in harms way and had you help me with my work as Iron Man. I do not tolerate slander." Tony snaps his fingers, and one of his lawyers drops a thick stack of papers on the desk in front of the liar. The liar stares at the papers in front of her, not even able to understand what is happening. "What is this?" Tony smirked at the young liar. "That is a lawsuit for slander. And before you try to hide this from your mother, because I know you have a habit of keeping things from her, you should know I have already spoken to her and sent a copy of the paperwork to your home. Maybe you will think twice before you try to lie about me again."

-------------------

At this point, Lila gave up trying to hide that she was a liar. That was clearly a lost cause. She had just been revealed in front of the whole class. And she was angry. "How did you find out about me?! I only just said that stuff yesterday! It was Marinette wasn't it?! She has been trying to reveal me for ages, it has to be her! But how did she get in touch with you?!" Tony's smirk only grew. "Actually, I don't know a Marinette. You really should be more careful who you lie too. Isn't that right Peter?" In less than a second, every head snapped around to stare at Peter. Peter took his turn to smile. "That's right Mr. Stark. You never know who someone might know." The whole class looked back and forth between the two, before Lila yelled, "YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?! How could you know Mr. Stark!? You don't seem very important." Tony walked past Lila, and up the stairs towards Peter as he speaks. "Actually, Peter is part of the Stark Industries intern program. He actually does help me in my lab, he is very smart." The whole class was shocked by this revelation. Tony turned to face Peter and Marinette again. "You know Peter, I think we should go get some lunch somewhere. And are you Marinette? Peter told me about you. Why don't you join us." Marinette quickly agreed, still a little shocked that Tony Stark was standing in front of her and had invited her to lunch. The small group left, and the class erupted into chaos. They all turned on Lila demanding answers, asking if she had been lying the entire time. Meanwhile Lila just sat in horrified silence. Everything was over. She had been revealed. She was in so much trouble. She was being sued. And all because she lied about Tony Stark to Peter Parker, the exact worst person to lie to.

[kalu-luwa]

some self-indulgent incorrect quotes because i’m sad:

featuring @sammo-writes-whatever​‘s lovely oc yumeko amane

cw: lotsa swearing, talks of death, general twst slander, spoilers for chapter 6, ooc but do i care? nah not really

(under the cut for dash length)

Neph, hugging Yume: I've only had Yume-chan for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in Twisted Wonderland and then myself.

---

Neph: *addressing people* fuck you

Neph: fuck you

Neph: fuck you

Neph: *addressing Yume* you're cool :D

Neph: *addressing Crowley* and fuck you, i'm out

---

Anyone: I may or may not have made Yumeko uncomfortable. How long until Nephtali and kills me?

Grim: ten

Anyone: Ten? Ten what?

Grim: nine

---

Yume and Neph: *holding hands and swinging their arms, laughing and softly talking while strolling, general sweet sibling relationship*

Ace and Deuce: *slinging either of them over the other's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, both of them screaming and sprinting past them*

(alternatively: Jade and Floyd? Riddle and Floyd, Rook and any of the beastmen...)

---

Yume: Oh no, a cute girl! I can’t talk to her like this!

Yume: Oh, she's going. 

Yume: Oh no! Another cute girl!

Neph: Stop looking in every mirror you see, I don’t want you to have a mental breakdown.

---

Yume: I have HRE. Hopeless Romantic Energy.

Neph: Holy Roman Empire.

Grim: Hambu Rg Er

---

Yume: As fellow first years and good friends, we always finish each other's-

Adeuce: -homework

Neph: what the fuck

Adeuce, crying: *slides over sheets of paper* please help

---

Ace: How does it feel to have the shittiest dorm ever?

Neph: shut up your mother buys you mega bloks instead of legos

Ace, unlocking his Unique Magic: YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK

---

Ramshackle Dorm collectively: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

---

Rook: j’owo

Rook: tu owos

Rook: il/elle/on owos

Rook: nous owoins

Rook: vous owoez

Rook: ils/elles owoent

Neph: did you just conjugate owo in french

Rook: owoui

---

Neph: with all these e-girls and e-boys

Neph: i just want to be e-nough

Cater:

---

Neph: i'm not normally a violent person

Neph, gesturing to TWST Chapter 6: but this makes me wanna go smack some people around

Yume: please don't

---

Neph: Grim, you ate too many blot crystals and blacked out. I'll ask you a few questions while Yume-chan does first aid.

Grim: *incomprehensible noise of affirmation*

Neph: What's your favourite colour?

Grim, with the confidence of a thousand suns: tuna

---

Yume: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Floyd will and won't eat.

Neph: Grass? Yeah.

Yume: Moss? Yeah!

Neph: Leaves? Oh, yeah.

Yume: Shoelaces? Strange, but true!

Neph: Worms? Sometimes...

Yume: Rocks? Usually, no.

Neph: Twigs? Usually.

Yume: Lilia or Jade's cooking? Inconclusive!

Deuce: How... did you test this???

Yume: You just hand him stuff and say 'eat this' and if he eats it, he eats it.

Deuce: I don't know how to feel about this...

Ace: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT

---

Neph: i lived bitch

Overblotters: Wha- you can't be here- you're dead!- I literally saw you die??-

Neph: death is a social construct

---

Deuce: Neph isn't answering the phone.

Yume: I'll try!

Ace: Deuce and I have tried 6 times each, what makes you think-

Neph: hello???

---

Azul: It’s a white flag and you may as well start waving it-

Neph: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER

Azul:

The Leech Twins:

Everyone else:

Azul, slightly terrified: Holy shit.

---

Neph: I like to think I have a sharp memory. Try naming something I forgot.

Ace: your birthday You left me in a parking lot 3 weeks ago.

Neph: that was on purpose try again

---

Neph and Epel, struggling to stand in 1-inch heels: yeah heels aren't for us

Vil, flawlessly walking in 6-inch stilettos: W E A K

---

Yume, staring off dramatically into the sunset:

Neph: Yume-chan, are you alright? What’s wrong?

Yume: If you stack two pizzas on top of each other, it’s two pizzas.

Yume, frowning: But if you stack two lasagnas, it’s still one lasagna.

Neph:

---

Anyone: If I say 'I love you', will you say it back?

Yume/Neph: Yeah.

Anyone: I love you.

Yume/Neph: It back.

---

Yume: What’s it like being tall?

Neph: Is it nice?

Yume: Can you reach the cupboards comfortably?

Malleus, 100% serious: *talking about Lilia* we live in constant fear of the small ones, who will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want

---

Grim: Why do the two of you like the rain so much?

Yume: It’s so romantic, and it makes a great white noise for when you’re going to sleep! I like splashing in puddles too, it’s fun and nostalgic.

Neph: i’m trying to get hit by lightning

---

Neph: listen here, you little shits

Neph: not you, Yume-chan, you're an angel and we're glad you're here

---

Ace: Also, from now on, we’ll be using code names! You can address me as Eagle One.

Ace, to Neph: Been There Done That.

Ace, to Yume: Currently Doing That.

Ace, to Grim: It Happened Once In a Dream.

Ace, to Deuce:

Ace: Eagle Two

Deuce: oh my god

---

Ace: L is for the way you look at me

Neph: O is for the only one I see

Yume: V is for very, very extraordinary

Deuce:

Deuce: egg

---

*tea-cup Disney rides*

Yume and Neph: *calmly spinning, chatting happily*

Leona, Vil, and Malleus: *spinning faster, heated conversation*

Adeuce: *hurricane spinning, screaming at each other*

---

Neph: The average pineapple, peeled and cut, makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces of pineapple chunks. Cans of pineapple come in a variety of sizes, the most common being 28 or 20 ounces and 46 ounces. Meaning a single pineapple won’t fill up a single can perfectly, which also means every time you eat pineapple from a can, somewhere someone else has the can that has the rest of that same pineapple. Meaning you can share a single fruit with a stranger from hundreds of miles away and I think that’s beautiful.

Yume: How much sleep are you getting?

Neph: not enough

---

Neph: I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN

Neph: GUARDIAN OF THE SAND

Yume: Poseidon quivers before them!

Neph, to Octavinelle: FUCK OFF

---

alright that’s enough for today goodbye

[adelheidvonschicksal]

Ok but like what if hawks got his sweet little intern pregnant on accident? Would he make her abort it? Would he make her keep it and try to wife her up? Or is he just gonna play it off like “oh? Y/n’s pregnant? Huh, wonder who the father is” and ditch her?

original post | part three

I mean my gut tells me he’d take responsibility at least to some degree. He loves freedom too much to try to get married I feel; but given his history, I think he’d at least take responsibility in making sure you two are taken care of financially. He’d come have play dates with his kid and make sure no villains bother you (probably not watch the kid overnight much tbh).

BUT THEN, BUT THEN, THE OTHER PART OF ME CAN’T GET JERK HAWKS OUT OF MY HEAD ABOUT ABANDONING HIS SWEET LITTLE INTERN AND BABY.

You’ll tell him that you’re pregnant with his child (you’re sure since he’s the only one you’ve been sleeping with, the first and only one to ever been inside you, even if it wasn’t all that serious (at least from his end)). He’ll tell you that you can do whatever you want with the kid in terms of keeping it, refusing to believe the child is his, or rather he doesn’t care if it’s his or not. He doesn’t have time for a child, he craves keeping independence as much as possible.

If anyone asks, he’ll say those words, “Oh, (Name)’s pregnant? Huh, wonder who the father is,” and you’ll finally get the hint that he doesn’t want anything to do with you after hoping he’d change his mind. He knows you won’t tell anyone though. You wouldn’t dare try to slander Japan’s number 2 hero when the world is at a place it needs him the most. His sweet little bird wouldn't want to get him in trouble, now would you? So, you’ll keep your mouth shut and quietly disappear for him, right?

Hawks goes years without worrying about it. He doesn’t think much about his old intern. He hired a new one who’s doing well, a boy this time. What kind of hero would he be if he made the same mistake twice.

Speaking of Twice, let’s say around this time he’s investigating the league of villains. Dabi already knows all about who he is, about his spying, about this sweet little girl he has a few towns over. One he abandoned, no different from the awful father known as Endeavor that Hawks idolized growing up. How when he finished killing Hawks, he was going to go for her next and tell her all about the demise of her supposed hero of a father.

Or,

Endeavor telling Hawks that he saw Hawks’ old intern a few weeks back and that she had a child, clearly hinting at something. Hawks laughs it off of course. “Isn’t that what usually happens when someone gets pregnant? It’d be stranger if she didn’t have one.”

Endeavor adds, “Judging by the kid’s age she probably had the child pretty young. Young girls tend to idolize their heroes.”

Hawks also agrees. “Yeah. They sure do, don’t they?”

Endeavor grunting, Hawks should have a relationship with his child before it’s too late, and they start to hate him (next thing Hawks knows, they’ll be slurping soba at him in disdain).

Hawks sighs. "Your age must be catching up with you because I have no idea what you're talking about."

Hawks thinks Endeavor is the last person to scold him about that. All he did is abandon the kid, it’s not like he did something abusive. At worst, it’s neglect. The kid was probably fine. Plenty of kids turn out fine without their father. Hawks thinks he probably would’ve been better off without his own abusive father, and besides you were probably married by now.

After that conversation/almost dying, Hawks can’t help but wonder if only briefly how the two of you are doing. He’ll inwardly scold himself for letting a villain and a man with a family worthy of a television drama make him question himself. He valued himself, his freedoms, his joy, and creating an easygoing life much more than anything else to worry about something like that.

Eventually, Hawks decides to put his spy skills to use in finding you if only to satiate the nagging feeling inside of him telling him to at least see how things are going with you—you know just to make sure you’re not homeless or something.

Turns out, you didn’t move that far away, only a little bit out the main part of the city. Hawks sees you at the park with your daughter and knows right away that she’s his alright. She has a cute little pair of golden-brown gossamer wings coming in. They flutter behind her as she runs around the playground.

He’s so distracted that he barely missed you catching him from the corner of your eye. He’d blame his large wings for making him stick out like a sore thumb, but he knows you’ve always been good at picking him out no matter where he hid.

You hold your lips tight, eyes narrowed. Oh, you’re mad, so mad, but he doesn’t think that you could resist him enough to tell him off. You always had such a cute crush on him back when you were his intern.

Hawks lets out a casual “Hi, (Name), how’s it going?”

You didn't answer, staring at him in silence. It's broken by your little girl running up to you, grasping onto your hand. And oh her little flappy wings are so much more precious up close. He takes this time to note that you aren’t wearing any ring as your daughter begs for you to swing her.

She finally notices him. “Mama, who’s this?” she asks, and the soft pitches of her voice are so musical to his sensitive ears.

"I'm," he starts then he loses his voice as she looks at him. She looks so strikingly like him. Hawks can see all of himself there: the wings, the wavy, wild hair, those little dark triangles in the corners of her eyes, giving a sharp bird-like appearance to them.

Then, he is brought back to reality by you speaking, so much colder than he's ever heard from you in his life, “No one, absolutely no one.”

He's stunned for a few seconds before his lips curve into a lazy smile.

“Ouch, that’s kind of hurtful,” he says. He had said it jokingly, staying well hidden behind that jovial mask of his as you squeezed your daughter’s hand tighter. He even had himself fooled into thinking that what you said hadn’t bothered him because he never had any intention other than sating his curiosity.

Yet he couldn’t deny the tug in his heart when you walk away from him and he sees the miniature version of himself looking back.

[lunarosewood23]

FFXIVWrite2022 Prompt 6: Onerous

Melisie Valhourdin can see her son suffering, and wants to do what she can to ease his burden.

Content Warnings: Talk of depression and bad mental health. I have a lot of sad HCs for Zephirin that I have been doing my best to portray them as realistically as I can.

Note: FT my personal HC of Zephirin’s mother, who I have decided is alive bc why not? This is what she looks like!! Also mentions @inkblood-mistrieu​’s lady Kaia Jiang, who we ship with Zephirin.

~~~

“Mother, I'm fine. What is it you need?” Zephirin asked while trying to wave off his mother’s concerns. 

Melisie sighed and rubbed her temple, her son had gained many of his father’s traits, his overwhelming devotion to those he loves and his desire to do good.

He had also gained his father’s stubbornness, and his need to value his worth by his usefulness to others, even at the cost of his own health and sanity.

“You’re not alright my boy, I know you’re not. I’ve been trying to not press on it because I know Kaia’s been helping you, but it’s clear that you’ve been dealing with a great deal, and I wish not to make your burden more onerous.” Melisie replied as she pulled her son into a hug.

Zephirin sighed, sometimes he hated how easily the people closest to him could so easily read him. It had been difficult lately, there was work in the forge that he needed to do and he still had to adhere to whatever social obligations his mother needed of him, to spending time with his friends and making sure they were alright after everything.

And of course, of bloody course, all this had to come while in a series of Bad Days, or what he referred to when the weight of everything that had happened was too heavy to just throw into the back of his mind and ignore. Talking with Kaia had been helpful and he started to recognize when his depression was creeping up, but he also had been slipping back into old habits of trying to take on everything at once because he felt like he was obligated to. That if he said no he was letting people down.

And it was especially hard to say no to his mother.

“I’ve been dealing with my own issues, but it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with Mother, I promise.” He explained, trying to downplay it so she wouldn’t worry too much, but he could see she wasn’t buying it.

"Zephirin. My boy, my sweet sunset wind." Melisie soothed as she squeezed him in a tight hug. "No obligations are worth losing yourself. You deserve rest too. I wish you would tell me no to my nonsense more often. I can see that you're miserable."

"The thing is mother, is that I don't mind attending, at least not for the acceptable time allowed, especially when I'm prepared to deal with it. When I feel normal enough to function that is..." He replies with a sigh, and then clenches his fist. "When I'm most miserable I'm more often than not having to bite my tongue because the nobles continue to shamelessly slander Kaia’s good name, listen to them claim that she seduced me and paint me as though I do not know what I want in a partner and have no agency in my life."

Melisie was startled as he continued. "I don’t care for any words said against me, they can scream and shout their baseless slander all day and it wouldn't phase me. But Kaia...Kaia is my world, and on my honor as a knight I won't let anyone speak ill of the woman whose presence has given me peace, joy, and safety.”

Melisie couldn’t help but smile at how her boy spoke of the woman he loved, but schooled her face as she processed his words. “If you’re able, point them out to me at the next outing.”

“Mother, it's really not worth it.”

“It absolutely is. Nobody is going to speak so ill of my daughter. I want to ensure that they know it is far more of an onerous task to cause such trouble in my house.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

anything with jin zixuan marrying into the jiang sect, instead of jiang yanli marrying out?

ao3

It wasn’t that Jin Zixuan didn’t love his mother – he did, he truly did. He loved her, he supported her, he stood by her side in every argument. He would do anything within his power to help her get everything that she wanted.

It was only that he took a very reasonable look at the circumstances and realized he couldn’t. He couldn’t get her the one thing she’d always counted for.

He couldn’t win the right of succession to be Sect Leader Jin.

Maybe if his mother had managed to stop his father from bringing home all his bastards – there were nineteen of them, all together, and those were just the ones that were willing to admit it so who even knew – he might’ve had a better chance, given that he was after all the sole legitimate son. But legitimacy only took you so far: he was neither the oldest of the children, nor the most capable, nor the most cunning. He wasn’t even the best connected, despite his maternal family’s support; that honor went to another one of his siblings, born to an especially well-connected family through unspecified circumstances that might or might not involve rape but which sufficient money had plastered over.

The only thing Jin Zixuan had going for him was his legitimacy, but his father had long ago taught him - however inadvertently - that there wasn’t anything magical about a wedding ceremony that made him better suited to the role of sect leader.

What’s more, in his heart of hearts, Jin Zixuan didn’t even want it.

He wasn’t – he didn’t really like fighting. Or politics, or scheming, or any of it. It just wasn’t his personality. He didn’t like games of influence, he didn’t like backstabbing people that trusted him, he didn’t like gossiping and slandering and not being able to believe in people’s good faith and any of that, and no matter how much his mom pushed him, he didn’t think he’d ever like it. 

But that was what Lanling Jin did, what Jilin Tower was like, and if he wanted to take up the Sect Leader’s seat and reside in the Fragrant Palace, he had to get over himself and accept that that’s what the rest of his life would be like.

Forever.

Until someone murdered him and took his place, anyway. It almost felt inevitable, sometimes. 

Or, because he really truly didn’t want the job, because he really truly didn’t want to die, he could try to think of something else. Some way out.

For example, he could, and did, go to Jin Ziyao and ask him for help.

Jin Ziyao stared at him, eyes narrow and calculating as they so rarely were – he was very good at keeping a bland polite smile on his face, the best at it of all the people Jin Zixuan had ever met, and he’d met a lot. 

“That’s an interesting thing to say, brother,” he said, gently eliding as always the fact that they were the same age, born on the same day to different mothers. “Very interesting indeed. I must ask, though - why are you saying it to me?”

“Because you’d be the best at the job,” Jin Zixuan said honestly. He really thought so: Jin Ziyao was smart and clever, cunning enough to wear a kind face and tricky enough to actually pull off the impression of actually being kind, since people were more willing to forgive kind people, but also ambitious and ruthless enough to survive and maybe even thrive in the political world the way Jin Zixuan wasn’t. “And because you’re smart enough to come up with a way for me to get out of this without dying, if you wanted to.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere. Why would I want to?”

And that was the rub, wasn’t it? Jin Zixuan was the legitimate son, the rightful heir, and his father, their father, was just as likely to name Jin Zixuan as the next sect leader no matter how unfit for the role he was on nothing more than that basis as he was to name anyone else with a much stronger claim. 

It was in everyone else’s best interest to kill him, if they were ambitious.

Maybe not his sisters. They wouldn’t inherit no matter what happened to him.

(Sometimes Jin Zixuan wished he was lucky enough to be born a nobody, little Jin Ziyu, who just wanted to play with make-up and avoid all contact with his maternal Mo family. Nobody cared about Jin Ziyu, and everyone liked it that way.)

“You know my position,” Jin Zixuan explained. He didn’t need to say it out loud; he was bitterly aware that it was basically his only personality trait: legitimate heir of Jin Guangshan, the rich boy everyone thought would be the next sect leader unless someone else got in the way. “My support could be worth something to you.”

“Especially if it’s sincere,” Jin Ziyao murmured, looking thoughtful, contemplative. It wasn’t an outright no, anyway, or at least not yet. “And you would be sincere, wouldn’t you?”

“There’s a reason I said that I’m not fit for the role,” Jin Zixuan replied, his voice dry to hide the fact that his heart was in his throat. Jin Ziyao was the one most likely to succeed in finding a way to get him out of this mess, but he was also the most likely to figure out a way to kill him without being blamed for it, too.  There was a reason he’d come to him, but that reason was the danger - who was to say that Jin Ziyao wouldn’t decide it’d be safer to kill him, and to use this to accomplish it? He could be signing his own death warrant. “And even if you’re smart, competent, good at managing things, well-connected, and well-liked, you can still use my help.”

Jin Ziyao had only a single fault: his mother had been a prostitute. People still judged him for that, something which made no sense to Jin Zixuan whatsoever – it wasn’t Jin Ziyao’s fault what his mother did before he was born – but it meant he lacked legitimacy even more than the others. 

Having the legitimate son backing his claim would be a strong argument in favor of overlooking that.

“You know your mother won’t like it,” Jin Ziyao said. Testing, probing; he hadn’t agreed yet.

“I know,” Jin Zixuan said simply. “But I hope that she’d like me being dead less.”

He wasn’t actually sure about that. His mother loved him, yes, but he had never entirely determined if she loved him for himself or as an extension of herself – a symbol of what she would be fighting towards. A sign that her struggles with her husband had a purpose, that all her humiliation would one day be worth it.

That one day, when he was sect leader, she would become the true power in Lanling through him. 

(Jin Zixuan didn’t know what she imagined would happen to all his illegitimate brothers and sisters in that situation, and he didn’t want to; it put a sick feeling in his gut to think about it – which he supposed meant he did know, after all, what she would want, but was instead choosing to ignore it.)

Jin Ziyao studied him for a long moment, presumably trying to analyze his sincerity and how firm he was on the idea. 

Jin Zixuan didn’t rush him, knowing it was a gamble on his side as well: it would be worse for him to help Jin Zixuan out of the line of succession only for Jin Zixuan to change his mind down the road. It would make him look bad, make him a target for the others, and the backstabbing nature of Lanling politics meant that luring someone in with a request for aid was exactly the sort of trap someone might lay out.

Sometimes, Jin Zixuan was really, really tired of Lanling.

Maybe something of that showed on his face, because just when he was starting to lose hope, Jin Ziyao abruptly nodded – almost to himself – and said, “All right. How about your marriage?”

“What about my marriage?” Jin Zixuan asked, puzzled. 

He’d been engaged to his mother’s best friend’s daughter since before he was born, and amazingly enough the engagement had held despite everything – probably because they had barely met, to be perfectly honest. And also the fact that being surrounded by brothers that hid daggers in their smiles gave Jin Zixuan enough experience to realize that he was being deliberately incited when his so-called friends started telling him that he deserved better than a girl most often described simply as being nice.

After all, he’d already started doubting by that time that he even deserved the accident of his legitimate birth, so forget deserving any girl.

Also, being nice sounded…rather nice, actually. Certainly a relief, assuming she was actually nice rather than just pretending to be the way so many of his sisters were.

(None of them liked her, which suggested she might be.)

“You should get to know your intended better,” Jin Ziyao said. “Visit her more often.”

Jin Zixuan really wasn’t seeing the connection between that and his request for assistance, and Jin Ziyao’s gaze softened a little bit, though Jin Zixuan wasn’t sure if it was with sympathy or merely pity.

“It’ll make it easier for you,” he clarified. “For when you marry in.”

Marry in?

Marry in. The Jiang sect was a Great Sect, with enough power and influence to make unreasonable demands – and his father desperately wanted the alliance with them. If they could be convinced to demand that he marry in rather than having Jiang Yanli marry out, pointing to their smaller numbers or the tragedies that had befallen their sect…

Jiang Cheng would like having his sister around. He was also notoriously standoffish around women, and had viciously rejected any effort to be matched with one of the illegitimate Jin girls; it might even be possible to suggest to his father that allowing Jin Zixuan to marry in would mean that there was a chance that Jiang Cheng would be willing to leave his sect to a nephew surnamed Jiang, winning the Jin sect both an alliance and inheritance all at once.

Best of all, it had to be him. The Jiang sect had only agreed to the engagement because of Madame Yu’s friendship with his mother, not for any political reason; if his father tried to substitute him with someone else, they might break it entirely…

And someone who married out couldn’t be the heir.

“You’re a genius,” Jin Zixuan told his brother, who smiled crookedly in acknowledgement. “What should I do? Do I just – go over there? Send a letter? I can’t write letters…”

“Let me think about it,” Jin Ziyao said. “I’m sure I can come up with something more subtle than you.”

[cheelduh]

How to tie up a cute boy

(Highschool Au)

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Parts: 1  2  3

Word count: 4K

Warnings: Swearing, Scaramouche abuse, no Signora slander this time, shit humour.

Synopsis: "Why are you doing homework?" Childe groans, rolling off to the side and kicking off the blanket to expose himself in nothing but a pair of boxers. "I'm literally right here, naked and defenseless. Why aren't you taking advantage of me?"

Note: Unedited yet again besties. Tysm for reading :) I got Childe after losing him to mf MONA, istg it was the most stressful moment of my life.

The clock ticks with its pendulum, ridiculing you as it holds the time. The gentle whirring of the air conditioning in the background serves as the icing on the cake to your pent up aggression.

You try not to glare at your phone too much after receiving a text from Childe that told you not to worry, that his dad picked him up and that he was in the comfort of his home, letting the flu blow over.

It took a lot of convincing from his part earlier that morning to get you to go back and actually attend the rest of your classes, making sure to check up on him every break plus the additional "bathroom breaks" you usually never take while in class.

"I can't let you get in trouble for me." He murmured with a small smile that pumped your blood a little faster than usual. "I'm fine, really. Don't worry your pretty little head."

You do exactly that.

You don't even know why you're so worried. He's sick, not dying. Not to mention, you aren't even his girlfriend let alone his friend to care so much. 

Your intrusive thoughts don't waste any time. You latch onto the one thought that takes over. He's probably dead. Lying in his bed in a heap of pillows, passing peacefully while his parents are in the other room. He's dead.

Okay, he's not dead. You intrusive thoughts sure do one hell of a job. He'll be fine, and in no time he'll go back to being a reckless distraction in your life that you need to surpass. Just another obstacle to add onto the list of things life has thrown at you.

But for an obstacle, he sure is kind of cute.

You refrain from bashing your head on the desk. School isn't really a preferred environment on your list of top ten places to shrivel up and die.

Speaking of death and all that is evil, why is Childe always on your mind? He takes up every nook and cranny of your day, constantly, and truth be told it's starting to boil your piss.

Every time you close your eyes you see his smug smile, and hear his stupid laugh. He's an annoying little prick who gets a rise out of exasperating you. Yet here you are, terrified by the warmth that blossoms in your heart when you so much as hear his name.

The final bell rings at long last, conveniently before you bite your tongue to avoid screaming, and not another second is wasted once you launch yourself out the door. You dodge through the crowd of students in the hall that are buzzing in excitement from it being a Friday afternoon, and you would be too if you weren't so damn hung up over a ginger with a battlekink.

Locker in view, you make a beeline and spend the next two minutes fumbling with the lock in your hands.

"Woah there cutie," Lisa speaks up playfully. "At this rate you'll break the poor lock with your bare hands."

For a moment you're surprised at her sudden appearance, but then remember that it's normal for her to worm her way anywhere.

"It's just—this lock is being dumb okay? It has no reason being a pain in my ass but it wakes up every day and chooses violence." You hiss through your teeth, a sharp metallic ring invading your ears when you lose it and jostle the combination lock against the door of your locker.

Lisa winces, but smiles teasingly nonetheless. "Want me to give it a try?"

"Please."

Lisa has the door open at record speed.

"I love you Lisa." You confess wholeheartedly, gripping at your chest. "I love you so much—"

"Yeah yeah," She waves you off with a grin. "Now hurry up and go save your boyfriend from the common flu. Archons knows he won't make the night."

You flush at the word "boyfriend" and don't give much thought to the insinuation that lies within the rest of her sentence.

Sliding your skateboard under an arm, you spin on your heel just to bump straight into Scaramouche, who's won the scowl of the century on his face. He's the last person you want to see right now, but apparently the universe wants to have a pissing match with you.

"Give this homework to that idiot Ginger." He shoves a stack of papers into you. "Tell him that once he's done circling the drain, I'm gonna kick his ass." He then leans in, murderous glint in his eyes. "And if you ever touch me again I'll take a shit in your cereal. That's not a threat, it's a promise."

You shiver at the thought of him squatting on your Cheerios, hands becoming clammy as you try and justify yourself. "It was an accident."

Your pitiful excuse earns you nothing from the navy haired boy. "It'll be an accident when I murder your entire family, three generations over."

"Hi Mona!" You wave excitedly over his shoulder at the body of students that are totally not Mona. With elation he fails to conceal, Scaramouche turns to look at the speed of light.

You take the chance to make your escape—not before waving to Lisa, chuckling to yourself. He's down bad.

With great expertise you file your way through the flock of students chattering near the entrance. , you confidently place your skateboard down on the sidewalk, ready to—

Wait—where does he live again?

You sigh heavily, ignoring the sadness as you thank the universe internally for pulling the reigns on your disastrous plan. Checking up on Childe at his house? With his family present? Making a complete fool out of yourself? What are you thinking? The possibilities are horrendous. He probably doesn't even think of you like that, he just likes a challenge and you pose as one.

You turn away to make a run for it in the direction of your home, all the while ignoring the nagging worry in your chest for Childe. He's probably fine anyways, you don't need to check up on him, and if you did he'd likely find a way to spin it and tease you relentlessly.

Although somehow, the thought of being teased by him isn't as dreadful as you'd like it to be.

Suddenly, an idea graces you, one that guarantees your misery by sating your obligation to check up on Childe. A litany of curses escape your mouth. Genius really, the amount of ways you can think of doing something that'll end in your demise.

"Adeptus Xiao." You whisper apprehensively, already regretting your decision. "Adeptus Xiao." Glancing around your surroundings, you barely notice the shadow that looms over you at your backside.

"What do you want mortal?" Unbeknownst to you, he strikes out of nowhere, making you jump back several meters. You manage to muffle a surprised shriek.

Xiao is Venti's -6 ft boyfriend, the vicious epitome of an eboy. He has a scaled tattoo covering up the majority of an arm, a few piercing holes in his ears, all matched up with a disinterested look. Somehow, he always appears out of nowhere if you call out his name. It's sort of disturbing in a way.

His amber eyes pierce through you, forcing a shudder of fear and dread to lace your blood, almost as if he can sense you shittalking him in your head.

With shaky hands, you ask, "Can you tell me where—"

"No."

"You didn't even hear me ou—"

"No."

"Please?"

He refuses to at least pretend to think about it for a moment.

"No."

"Why?" You frown, stomping your foot on the ground childishly.

"Because." He retorts with a lack of interest, but doesn't further explain his point. English teachers must love this kid.

"Okay," You say slowly, casually inspecting his form as you come up with an idea, briefly remembering Lumine mentioning it to you. "How about I give you my share on almond tofu Tuesday."

The lack of interest on his face wavers slightly. Bingo.

"What do you want mortal?" Xiao mutters gruffly, arms crossed, face morphing into subtle annoyance.

You wrack your brain for a proper answer. You can't just outright ask him or it'll seem like you have a thing for Childe, which you unfortunately do, but you'd like to keep a semblance of integrity. Ah yes, the homework!

"I gotta deliver these to Childe." You outstretch the pile of worksheets in your hands. "Except I don't know where he lives. Can you tell me?"

Xiao's eyes glint with danger. "Did you summon me for the trivial task of giving you an address?"

You nod furiously.

"Do humans have no shame?" Its rhetorical. Expressionlessly, he closes his eyes with intent focus, doing what you assume to be locating Childe's exact location.

He blinks an eye open, reaches a hand out. "Give me your phone." Palm waiting.

You hand it over to him almost desperately.

One glance at your bubbly phone case and he doesn't even try to hide his distaste. He taps a few times, then hands it back to you almost immediately.

On the screen is maps, and Childe's home is about a fifteen minute walk away.

Your jaw drops in disbelief. "How did you do that?"

"Easy," He mutters, leaning back against the school gate as the remainder of students walk past the two of you. "Locating demons that need subjugating is but a simple task."

There's a pregnant pause. Demon.

"Childe's a demon?" You gasp, even though you've always had your suspicions. Hence the reason you invest so much in demon-cancelling charms.

"What? No." He mutters with a roll of his eyes, and you note that his irritation grows the more questions you ask. "I had a physics project with him last semester."

That's why the charms don't work.

Your mouth forms an o, in fear that if you keep this conversation going on any longer, he'll snap at you. Especially when your next line of interrogation involves how he's able to appear and disappear into thin air.

It's a magic trick you'll want to master whenever Il Dottore has another conniption fit in the middle of the hallways after Kaeya tells him he looks like he has skid marks.

"Thank you." You say instead, trying to preserve his regard, but by the time you meet his gaze he's already gone with the wind.

—

Childe's home is surprisingly humble, considering the amount of fat stacks of cash he carries around in his fanny pack so care-freely. It's a normal suburban home from what you can tell, a little bigger than normal with a double garage, neatly mowed lawn and a few forgotten decorations from the windblume festival. A series of water guns lay forgotten near the entrance, making their presence known when you stumbled upon them.

It's hard to remain unphased. Especially since such a normal looking home has bred someone as ruthless as Childe.

Maybe it not the home, you think. Maybe it's the way he was raised. You recall a few glimpses of his mother in middle school, but because of your worse for wear memory retention, you can't ballpark her personality type.

As your thoughts wander further down to his parents and early childhood, villain origin story and what not, you're pulled out of your concentration when the door opens. The possible implications of being here are most definitely not in your favor.

Childe's mother is a stunning woman in her mid-forties who sure as hell doesn't show it in that jaw-dropping sapphire dress, topped off with a brilliant smile that makes your knees weak. Like mother like son, you suppose.

With her sudden appearance, strangely enough, you can remember how good her tiramisu bites are.

You take a moment to respond, swallowing thickly, only to stare at her stupidly.

His mother doesn't waste another second before ushering you in, oblivious to your star-struck expression. "Y/N? L/N Y/N? My have you grown. I remember when you were only this tall." She lifts her hand up a little above her waist, the jewels on her fingers dazzling with every movement. "How is your mother doing?"

"She's doing alright, busy with the clinic." You're able to find your words, smiling back at her, able to get somewhat familiar with her warmth. "I hope I'm not intruding. Childe forgot some homework." You say, heaving the short stack up.

"Ajax?" She laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe he's going by that now. I wonder when this phase will be over. He may act tough but he's such a softie, has the biggest heart."

You, in between concealed emotions and giggles that threaten to leak, try to hide the oncoming grin but it's impossible. "Well he's got you to thank for it."

"You flatter me too much Y/N," She fixes the up do, pinning back the blonde hair that deftly frame her familiar cerulean eyes. "I can see why he can't stop talking about you."

Her words make you waver momentarily. The fondness you've refused to share, the drawn out stares in the halls, the lingering touches, you don't want to acknowledge it but it's there. Whatever it is.

"I'm so sorry for cutting this short dear," His mother sighs, grabbing her keys off the counter and placing her wallet in an elegant handbag. "My niece is getting married and we're already late. I told Ajax I'd stay if he didn't feel too well but he said he could handle a headache. That boy, I swear, always tries to power through."

You nod in understanding, but wait a minute. A headache?

Scrunching up your face, eyebrows furrowed, you ask. "Headache?"

She frowns, applying another layer of her rouge lipstick hastily in a nearby mirror. "I know dear, how unfortunate. The school nurse said it's a migraine, and I shouldn't fret much, but a mother can't help but worry. If only he weren't so stubborn, like his father."

As if on cue, a loud honk comes from outside.

"That must be him!" She exclaims, hurriedly sliding in her heels, turning back to look at your awkward figure. "Ajax is in his room, it's the second door to the right upstairs. I've made some lasagna for the kids, you ought to have some as well, I'll be upset if you don't—" Another annoying honk cuts her off, to which she scoffs, shaking a fist. "That old man, I'll strangle him in his sleep. I must be going now, goodbye dear." She reveals a twinkling smile at you one last time, waving a slim hand before picking up her heels and making a run for it.

The door closes with an unceremonious thud, gust of wind in its trail, leaving a bewildered high schooler in its wake.

Snapping out of your haze, overwhelming tides threaten to drown you whole. Being in Childe's home, alone, with him a handful of stair steps and a wall or two away, your cheeks are set ablaze.

Now that his mother's gone, you take a second to really look. There are a few toys littered in front of the TV, home covered in with soft throws and coordinated cushions, a lazy sectional plopped right in the middle. The marks on the furniture with all the stories, the light hued mismatched frames hanging on the walls and on all the table, so many pictures of those that resemble him, his brothers, his sisters, his family. You can almost hear the echoing laughter in the halls, the childish squeals and pitter patter of tiny feet slapping the hardwood floor.

This is where he grew up. This is where he retires to after a long day full of gratifying fistfights. This is where he was raised to be who he is today, ambitious and reckless, with the absurd dream to one day rule the world. This is his home.

It's...like being wrapped in blanket, safe and cozy, surrounded by all the love in the world.

Absentmindedly, your fingers trace the outlines of a younger Childe, two missing teeth and eyes full of dreams, hugging the side of his father's shoulder because his small arms can't wrap around them. Not just yet.

You make your way over to the staircase, which has even more frames littered across the wall, one that falls short of hiding the marks of a green crayon—another slice of domesticity you aren't quite accustomed to.

The reality sets in, and you come to a conclusion. This home is definitely not an environment for growing psychopaths, Childe just beats the odds like he beats up kids on the daily.

Your fist hovers over his door as you contemplate abandoning the sheets on a nearby table, but his mother was so sweet and polite, so incredibly hospitable, you wouldn't have the heart to make a run for it.

"I can see why he can't stop talking about you."

Three consecutive knocks. If he doesn't answer, you'll leave them at the door.

"Mama," Childe's muffled groans stem from the other side, and oh, you want to revel in the grave undertone of his voice because it's certainly not a common occurrence. "I told you I'm fine. You can go okay? I don't want you to be late, just need to sleep it off."

You blink, lips curling, and then knock again.

"Mama," He whines again, and it has you grinning mischievously. He's a mommy's boy, he has to be. The thought envelopes your heart with a newfound fondness. "Just come in and hurry."

You eagerly take in the room once you slip in, eyes scanning over every little detail, until they zero in on the heap of sheets smack dab on the single bed, a pair of feet dangling off the edge, topped with a comforter thrown over leisurely.

Childe's facing away from you, head dipped in between his shoulders, probably trying to find a position that's more comfortable. He's shivering, sweating at the same time. His mother must've been too preoccupied to notice. This isn't the first time he's used his exceptional bullshitting finesse.

"I can't believe you lied to your mother," You cross your arms, leaning back against the door.

With a jerk, Childe flings into a sitting up position, wide awake and aware of everything that is going on, a stark contrast from nearly seconds ago.

He blinks at you in shock, once, twice, rubs his eyes a bit, relaxes, then leans back, out of it completely. "For a sleep paralysis monster, you sure are kind of cute."

"For and idiot you sure are an idiot." You snort back.

"Wait a minute," He mutters slowly, jaw dropping. "You're actually here?!"

Ignoring his question, you opt to slap the papers on his desk to ignore your clammy palms. "Homework."

"And here I thought you came here all this way to be my personal nurse." He smirks, recovering from his momentary shock fairly swiftly. Doesn't refrain from giving you that shit stain of a bad boy grin, even with a flushed face and concavity under his eyes.

"I can be your personal mortician instead."

"I didn't know you were into role play babe, but I'll take what I can get." He winks, but is punished by a sequence of coughs that earn a wince from you.

"Headache?" You tease after he quiets down, but he remains as cavalier as always.

He sighs, sides of his lips still arched upwards. "My parents barely have any time to themselves, it's so hectic with the kids. What kind of son would I be if I couldn't even give them this?"

He must've threatened Barbara.

"You're," You inhale, briefly letting the silence hang between you two, mulling over what you wish to convey. sweet.

"Irresistible? Hot? Sexy?" He starts casual, arrogant smirk widening.

"Kind of not a complete asshole, is what I was going to say."

"Careful girlie," He narrows his eyes on you, playful lilt in his tone. The comforter is allowed to slip past his shoulders to reveal the goods that lie underneath, the complete naked chest of a post-puberty highschool boy who sprays too much axe. Full pectorals are something to pay for, stringed with smooth muscles that ripple their way over his toned shoulders. "If you keep teasing me like this, I can't promise I'll be the nice guy."

"One more time from the top," You bite back, avoiding staring at him for too long. "Without the congested nose this time."

With great expertise, he weakly throws a pillow at you, and you watch it exceptionally land at your feet, barely grazing the tips of your socks.

"Impressive," You whistle, not impressed.

He pouts, shivers, then is dunking his head back into the welcoming embrace of his plush collection of pillows.

With a sigh, you plop down on his chair, grab a pen and begin calculating derivatives.

"What're you doing?" He doesn't even turn your way, voice muffled.

"Homework," You reply nonchalantly, trying to calm your nerves. "unless you want me to get you something to eat, considering you puked out your gogurt on Barbara's shoes earlier. Congrats by the way, you're hit listed by her fan club."

"Why are you doing homework?" He groans, rolling off to the side and kicking off the blanket to expose himself in nothing but a pair of boxers. "I'm literally right here, naked and defenseless. Why aren't you taking advantage of me?"

He really has an IQ below room temperature.

Burying the formidable obligation to clock him in the face on behalf of society, you slowly get up to approach his bed, to which he grins widely in disbelief.

Apprehensively, you climb onto his bed, and he scoots over, excitement as clear as day. His hair's a wild mess from all the shifting, almost makes you want to card a hand through it. Your heart nestles it's way in your throat at the sight of his blazing blue eyes.

You pity him for what you're about to do.

"Relax Childe," You lean over him with confidence you never knew you had to begin with, face hovering inches before his. Your fists strategically grip the comforter on either side of him. "We have all day after all."

Although you attempt to pay no heed to his quivering hand that snakes up to find solace on your hip, you momentarily shiver at the tenderness.

He's eating this up and leaving no crumbs. Closing his eyes in anticipation, his lips tremble when he tries to close in the distance.

Abruptly, you cross both handfuls of sheets over his body, tying them securely in place to keep him docile. He struggles in your grip, eyes snapping open in surprise. "Wuh-What."

"Did you really think you had a chance?" You cross your arms, stepping back to get a good look at your handiwork.

"Honestly?" Childe huffs, struggles some in his restraints. "I wasn't really thinking."

"Typical," You scrunch your nose up, unscrunch, and then exhale. "You stay here and I'll go make you some soup. Well, not that you can really move but you get the idea."

"You're really going to leave me here like this?" He pouts cutely, melting you, and the sick bastard knows of his power.

"Relax," You wave a hand, "I may be evil but I'm not Scaramouche."

Meanwhile, Scaramouche sneezes as he tries to ask Mona out, falling straight on his ass from the kick back, making a complete fool out of himself. Mona doesn't mind though, finds it endearing.

Back at Childe's room, he raises a brow, expectant.

Going through the five stages of grief, you do something you've been wanting to do for a while, succumbing to the immense feeling.

Closing in the distance between you two, you suck in a breath and gently tilt Childe's head to the side. He blinks quickly, not quite expecting your sudden forwardness, about to say something that doesn't matter as soon as you place a tender peck on the side of his cheek.

Time stops, the world coming to a halt completely. A moment made in history, one you won't ever forget, fresh in both your minds from forward on.

And then you stagger away as if you've been stabbed.

"Soup!" You squeak, appalled by the sheer boldness of your actions. "I'll go make soup while you rest."

Childe, frozen, stares at you incredibly confused, and then beams.

Dear Archons, what have you done.

[plan-d-to-i]

While MDZS never states canon Songxiao or XueXiao, but the author herself said that Xuexiao would never happen and that XXC was much closer to A-Qing than XY. She said XY got what he deserved and that he irredeemable. I don't think XY had romantic feelings for XXC, but saw XXC as a toy. He was mad that XXC left him and his source of comfort was gone and his little game ended. The only reason he wanted to bring XXC back was because XXC would be under his control and XXC would continue to comfort him and he could keep destroying XXC by making him do horrific things. It's the ultimate revenge. He liked toying around with XXC and destroying him. He doesn't resent having XXC kill SL and takes no responsibility for his actions. He blames Chang Ping for everything when in reality everything is his fault. If he does have feelings for XXC they are perverse and twisted. XXC would never love XY and would always find him despicable if he knew the truth.

Also I see many fans excuse XY's action saying that if SL didn't ruin everything Xuexiao would have been happy or they say since he has a shitty childhood his actions are understandable and with XXC's love he would become a better person *eye roll*. He kills A-Qing in cold blood and laughs at XXC's heartbreak over losing SL. This is not a man who can be cured with love, but a sadistic psychopath. He tried to slander XXC's name by using shuanghua to kill people. He has no remorse. Plenty of characters have sad childhoods some even worse than his and they still would never do what he did. Everyone always has sympathy for XY, but they never have any for SL and what he went through at the hands of XY.

XXC literally kills himself when he learns that he killed SL and his soul shatters to pieces over it. If that doesn't prove how much he loved SL even platonically Idk what does. He broke his promise to never return to the mountain for SL and gave up his eyes. When SL asked him to leave, he did so without hesitation because he thought that would make SL happy. When A-Qing asks if he's blind, his eyes start bleeding. When they are telling stories XY purposefully brings up SL as a way to hurt XXC. XXC smiles sadly when talking about him. He wanted create a new sect with SL. XXC's love, care, and respect for SL is shown time and time again even if it's platonic. The way people discredit their relationship is truly sad.

I don't really disagree. When it comes to Xue Yang I enjoy him a lot as a character. He's one of the few whose portrayal (by Wang Haoxuan) I liked even in cql, but I just follow Wei Wuxian's evaluation of him. When it comes to what he feels for Xiao Xingchen:

“Wei WuXian, “Hmm? You hate him that much? Then why did you kill Chang Ping?”

Xue Yang sneered, “Why did I kill Chang Ping? Did you really need to ask, Patriarch YiLing?! Haven’t I told you? I said that I was going to wipe out the entire YueyangChang Clan, so I won’t even leave a dog behind!”

Wei WuXian continued, “That’s a great reason you came up with. Unfortunately, the years don’t add up. Someone like you who seeks revenge for the smallest things and murders in such ruthless ways wouldn’t have waited so many years to finish off one clan, would you? You know the reason why you killed Chang Ping.”

Xue Yang, “Then, tell me. What do I know? What do I know?!”

“He shouted the last sentence. Wei WuXian asked again, “You didn’t just kill him. Why did you choose to use lingchi, the torture that represents ‘punishment’? If you were avenging for yourself, why did you use Shuanghua, instead of your own Jiangzai? Why did you dig out his eyes and make it so that he was just like Xiao XingChen?”

Xue Yang shouted himself hoarse, “Nonsense! That’s all nonsense! It’s revenge—why in the world would I have let him die comfortably?”

Wei WuXian, “You were indeed seeking revenge, but whose revenge were you actually seeking? What a joke. If you wanted to seek revenge, the one you should’ve executed lingchi on is yourself!”

In other words Xue Yang felt something for XXC but whatever it was revolved around how XXC made him feel. What he wanted etc. He had no regard for XXC's wellbeing and happiness or for what XXC himself would have wanted. I understand the immense temptation of this kind of dynamic- who doesn't want to see the absolute evil bad boy leashed by love & it's fun to explore in fics... but that's not quite what happened here. Xue Yang is still prioritizing his own wants and happiness (and fun), that fun just happens to include XXC's existence.

So to conclude:

“Lan JingYi couldn’t help but ask, “Just what did you see during Empathy?”

Wei WuXian, “It’s too long of a story. I’ll tell you later.”

Jin Ling, “Can’t you sum it up? Don’t leave us at a cliffhanger!”

Wei WuXian, “In summary: Xue Yang must die.”

[blookmallow]

hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ ) 

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this 

-----

thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid 

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why. 

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm 

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place) 

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there 

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences 

more on that subject

- we see him frequently doing things and then immediately forgetting he did it or forgetting what was happening. he accidentally squishes the bug (which also was not malicious or intentional, he intended to pet it but just. went too hard) and has no understanding either that its dead, or that he killed it. she has gone flat and gooey for some unknown reason. that’s strange. she needs to go have a wash, that’s no way to be. 

he eats the jeremy fisher puppet at one point and then immediately goes “where have you gotten to??” 

he even briefly forgets hubert cumberdale’s name and immediately comes up with another one without realizing it, and then later goes back to hubert cumberdale again with no mention of barbara logan-price 

he refers to the same little yellow guy as “young child” and also Auntie Bainbridge later on. he keeps up the fantasy of... whatever the fuck yvonne was being his child for a pretty long time but then when he arrives at “auntie bainbridge” ‘s house he suddenly forgets why he’s there, and even apparently forgets what yvonne is and uses  ‘her’ as a window rag instead and never mentions it again (I also don’t think she was in the sandwich at the end either. it’s hard to see but the sandwich contents are vaguely brown and theres a visible lump in the black goo behind him. i like the idea that the lil yellow guy made the sandwich for him) 

salad fingers is constantly subconsciously adjusting his reality to fit Whatever Makes The Most Sense At The Time and does not consistently remember things (sometimes even major things. he remembers his puppets the most consistently and still even forgets hubert’s name) or have a concept of cause and effect 

i think he possibly has some sense of recognition, “I’ve seen this person before,” but doesn’t always remember Why he knows them, and his mind just automatically fills in the blank with whatever makes sense to him. he doesn’t remember who the yellow guy is, but knows he knows them Somehow, so, ah, of course, it must be auntie bainbridge out for her sunday stroll :) and he knows he’s there for a reason, but not what that reason was, so he decides it must be time to clean the windows 

- milford cubicle was already dead when salad fingers opens the door, but he has no idea that hes dead. this isn’t even a cause for concern. my, he must be tired, that’s all. he kept milford there until he rotted away, too, so there was never a point where he realized anything was wrong (until he became skeleton. more on That later too) 

- he finds a corpse buried in the yard and rather than confronting the confusing and alarming reality of that situation, why it must be kenneth, back from the great war! at no point does he understand kenneth is definitely dead

theory: kenneth vs glass brother

i think he really did have a brother named kenneth who probably died in the war. could be some subconscious connection between “recognizing” a corpse as his brother, but i dont think he realizes any of that. i think the glass family is probably a trauma based hallucination, but a... well, reflection. pun not exactly intended lmao. on how his real family was and how they treated him

i dont think glass brother is the same brother as kenneth, since salad fingers interacts with them completely differently 

kenneth is a corpse that salad fingers projects a personality on and speaks for, while glass brother seems independent and malicious toward him. i think he had a good relationship with kenneth (so, when salad fingers imagines that he’s here, it’s cause for celebration and he’s projecting onto something inert and “safe”) and also had another brother (who was probably his twin) who bullied him and acted violently, so when that trauma resurfaces, he hallucinates a vicious Other that he cannot control or speak for.

it also tracks that the abusive brother was his twin - he sees himself reflected in the mirror, and something in his own face reminds him of that lost brother until it “becomes” him

he refers to kenneth as his younger brother, and sees him as a being that does not look like him, while glass brother is literally his reflection, so it would make sense if he had one identical twin and one younger brother 

ive seen theories that he had a real sister named bordois too, but i think him calling the bug “little sister” was just. a term of endearment or one of his little odd language quirks, he seemed to be talking to it more like a pet than like a sibling 

theory: regarding mable

- ok people are saying salad fingers killed mable at the picnic but i Really Don’t Think He Did

we never see him acting out violently when he gets scared. he tends to try to escape situations that stress him out, he shrinks, he cries, he goes into his cupboard (which is. incredibly upsetting given the fact he was almost definitely abused by his family) 

he takes on a kind of Authoritative Tone often, he gets sort of ruffled up and disdainful toward things, but that’s not what he does when he’s scared

when he’s actually distressed (rather than irritated) he tends to break down and retreat. this includes when other independent beings act in ways that unsettle and upset him 

so i dont know where the “he freaked out and killed her” idea is coming from. he suddenly goes from outside at the picnic to having a breakdown in his house so. he most likely just ran 

i think the Only time we see him act out violently is when he decides he has to punish marjory for not getting a haircut like he asked - he tears her hair out, but for me that scene was particularly concerning because it was so unlike him. that was an anger response, not a fear response, though, and he tends to be harsher toward things that he’s actually controlling (I don’t think we ever see him decide to Discipline something that was independent from him other than the horses, and he didnt hurt them) 

ordinarily when something irritates him he just goes “hmph! so distasteful. how rude. i shan’t have this behavior, you know” but doesn’t really actually do anything about it, and moves on

anyway we never see mable again so i think either he freaked out and ran away and she just didn’t come back, or he scared her and she ran away, or both 

there’s a dress visible briefly when salad fingers is making his Flesh Boy which could be mable’s (he did comment he liked it) but it’s not 100% clear, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he KILLED her for it. she could have changed into something else and left it somewhere and he found it. she could have died under unrelated circumstances, and salad fingers found her - he doesn’t comprehend death, so. probably he decided they’ve made amends now and she’s given him her dress as a token of friendship, or something 

i dont think it really looks that significantly like hers but the fact that it stands out so distinctly from the rest of the Pile could mean something 

but i just feel like if he had killed her we would’ve seen her corpse again, he doesn’t have a concept of murder, or death at all, or consequences, and his memory doesn’t hold out that consistently, so if he killed her, he probably would have calmed down later and then forgotten what he did and came up with a new way to explain the corpse in front of him - oh, how rude of me, mable’s here dozing right off and i havent even offered her a blanket. let’s get you to bed

like, he probably would have dragged her home with him, with the intention of being a good friend/host to his guest, not understanding what happened. he kept milford cubicle around a really long time  

it wouldn’t be like him to have any concept of hiding the evidence

speaking of milford 

theory: regarding milford cubicle 

salad fingers keeps milford’s corpse around until it starts rotting, and then after a very confusing series of events, the corpse is suddenly a skeleton, which surprisingly alarms salad fingers considerably, and then he goes out to find a whole bunch of himselves eating various bits of gore. they give him a present, which is a hat very clearly made of milford’s skin 

my conclusion: salad fingers, in some kind of dissociative fugue state, skinned and ate the remains of milford cubicle himself and turned the remaining skin into a hat. he also saves some of it to make hubert cumberdale (the real boy) later as well, probably forgetting where it came from. he does not realize he’s done this or remember doing it, so his scrambled mind tries to make sense of it with other selves eating unknown flesh, and a lovely hat appearing (which he doesn’t seem to notice is made of flesh) 

you can also see milford’s original name tag in the drawer later on when he’s building the flesh boy, so. he kept that after the mysterious disappearance of milford’s flesh, apparently. more evidence that that skin is probably also his

some other scattered thoughts regarding the most recent string of episodes and salad fingers’ mental state: 

ive been trying to figure out what the fuckhell happened with the yvonne incident and everything that happened in the birthday episode

im really concerned for salad fingers’ health and mental state, as it seems to be deteriorating 

some yvonne theories ive seen:

1. he ate the burned corpse of the kid who died in the oven, and it made him very sick, which ultimately resulted in a charred mass he couldn’t digest - he steadily gets worse, until his body finally ejects it (yvonne’s “birth”) and after that his health starts to recover again. since the oven incident happens really early on, all the times he mentions his stomach being upset after that until he becomes deathly ill would make sense, so i think this is plausible 

2. the hair he found in the cupboard was actually a parasitic worm that grew in his stomach after he ate it and became yvonne. i think this is Possible, it is a really strangely wormy looking hair, but it doesn’t move and he mentions stomach pains before this, so it seems less likely to me 

3. i also saw the concept that salad fingers is a trans man who suffered a miscarriage at some point in his past and yvonne represents that, and i can definitely see where the idea is coming from but i do think something really physically happened to him in the present time, i dont think it was all a trauma-based hallucination, since the yellow guy reacts to the black ooze and something was definitely making him severely ill 

so. i Don’t Know what the fuck that was about but i think the burnt corpse theory makes the most sense 

on that note: there’s a lot of cannibalism imagery in salad fingers 

we have no IDEA where he’s getting food from. im pretty sure its been confirmed that he is Not a zombie, we see him bleed, pass out, sleep, etc so it seems like he must be a living person who has ordinary needs. but we see him eat... his own puppets. hairs. sand. the soup glass mother instructed him to make, which made him very sick. he has a working oven but doesn’t seem to have consistent access to water. he had a fish somehow but who knows where it came from. it’s very likely he doesn’t get food often and some of his hallucinations and mood swings could be caused by starvation (and when he does eat, it’s things that are outright inedible or probably not good for him) 

the burned corpse disappears and is never mentioned again (though salad fingers is very sick afterward). milford’s flesh disappears and salad fingers violently hallucinates multiple selves gorging themselves on unknown flesh

and what concerns me the most about that is that he loses a lot of time in that episode 

he passes out in the woods and when he wakes up, it looks like a shit ton of time has passed

we don’t know how much is reality and how much is his warped perception, but it looks like a tree has grown and his physical condition has deteriorated 

he looks really, really unhealthy and haggard for the rest of the episode 

i think he had a huge dissociative episode and lost possibly weeks of time, probably due to starvation, and he ate milford cubicle and very possibly other people as well 

so my question is. how often does this happen to him

and what happens to him during that state? does he become violent and dangerous without being aware of it when he returns to himself again? or has he just been ravenously scavenging corpses when he gets desperate enough? 

its possible dr papanak is another personality he has, one that’s “buried out in the woods” that he becomes when he’s in a really, really bad mental and physical state 

he looks much better in the next episode (though that’s also when he has his outburst with marjory. could be that he’s still staving off the violent urges/hasn’t fully come back to himself after the last incident) and I’m really hoping the fact that he was able to finally stand up to his family (at least in some sense) and smash the mirrors could mean he’s making steps toward recovery after whatever the hell all that was 

there’s not really much space to do anything with his life or get much help given the circumstances but watching him slowly losing himself even more is Awful :( 

i hope we get more episodes im so desperate for more information now 

lastly, some random observations 

i tried to read this newspaper and it looks like it’s actually written in french, which is interesting given that salad fingers seems to be british (but fond of france, and seems to speak french or at least knows one phrase) 

i wonder where he got this, or whether it ever meant something significant to him

theres a lot of evidence that he can’t read (takes no notice of the “harry” nametag and immediately names him something else, “reads” a letter that is actually a newspaper clipping in another language he’s holding upside down, “writes” a letter that is just scribbles) so i dont think he learned his one french phrase from this or anything but, still. vaguely interesting. maybe he has been to france before and brought this back with him for some reason. maybe he’s actually in post apocalyptic france and was just originally from england. We Don’t Know 

theres a weird little face in the. heater? whatever that is in the background for a second and i dont like it  

salad fingers leaves horace in charge, but then sees him (as a live horse) in the woods, but then comes back to find him both still on the shelf (as a toy) and in the room (as a live horse, now with his, uh, surgery scars) but doesn’t seem to notice this and doesn’t comment on it 

i dont know what the hell that means other than possibly his reality is even less consistent and logical than usual/a reflection on his mental state deteriorating 

[kuroken-lovechild]

How haikyuu characters would play genshin impact:

//featuring me nerding out about mbti types 😔

Karasuno

Hinata

As an ESFP he would probably choose his main based on who feels good to use

Quick movements, lots of jumping, strong = XIAO MAIN (probably finds the flashiness and edginess cool and enjoys the button mashing too)

would aggressively compete with kageyama on who can beat spiral abyss the fastest and with the shortest time

unfortunately they’re both not very good (initially because kenma helps him out after)

Would try to follows the plot but dialogue goes over his head

Does not understand stats other than attack at first

Wish impulse is real and never has any primos

would attempt to talk to every npc

Kageyama

META SLAVE

Has no idea what wishing/gacha is at first and builds his starters really well

Then he found out and currently mains Ganyu, Zhongli, Hutao for the big numbers

gloats about his first 5 star to hinata

Does not talk to NPCs at all and barely digs into the story

only there for spiral abyss and to make his characters stronger

Tsukishima

Didn’t wanna play until yamaguchi dragged him in to have someone to co op with

Appreciates the story and lore more than the gameplay aspect

Eula, razor (cv uchiyama kouki) main—easy to build, easy to use

Doesn’t care about wishing either

Got Eula by accident and now holds it over kageyama’s head

Has really good artifact RNG that it infuriates kagehina (gloats about it to fan the flame 😚)

Yamaguchi

he’s infp he chooses based on characters he likes 🥺

Diluc, albedo, ayaka main

(i can’t explain why I think he’d like those three, it just Makes Sense)

Co ops with tsukki and yachi, plays both dps and support

Spiral abyss makes him anxious but he pushes through anyway!!

Daichi

Starter team king 😩

Feels bad about switching his regular team out FJDFJDJJDDJ DAICHI

Probably a casual player though

Plays to coop with suga and tanaka but they carry him through domains

he’s trying his best

Suga

Mains based on whoever’s fun to play too!!

but enjoys more of a challenge

Childe main

Waiting for Scaramouche to drop hAha 🥲 and harbingers in general

Appreciates the plot and is very interested in lore!!

Diligently does spiral abyss

Doesn’t quite wish on impulse, but if theres a character he likes he’ll spend everything on their banner

Asahi

Does not play, got too scared (see: haikyuu ova)

Nishinoya

Rolls VERY much on impulse

Similar to hinata in that he also likes playing playstyles that feel good

Xiao and/or yoimiya main

(xiao because he’s short jk)

Probably raised Rosaria and planned to use her

Plot who???? we only care about world exploration and fighting in this house

Tanaka

wished for all the women, raised all the women, uses all the women

valid

Primarily mains Rosaria, ningguang and Lisa though

sorry beidou you remind him of his sister too much

waiting for signora like many of us are

Coops with noya and has INSANELY bad rng luck

Yachi

Also chooses based on characters’ personalities

gay, mains sucrose and jean

isfj child and probably feels bad about the underrated characters :(

uses amber, xinyan and qiqi too!

Raises all characters but hasn’t raised anyone to 90

Coops with yamaguchi and uses jean (as healer, support, damage dealer)

Talks to NPCs and sympathizes with their sad backstories

Gets too anxious to do spiral floors 9-12 too (mood)

Seijoh

Oikawa

Oh boy

this ENFJ 3w2 guy? you KNOW he’s gonna be the best

As long as it doesn’t clash with volleyball of course

Very VERY competitive in abyss

Has one character hed get attached to but doesn’t limit himself to using them only

Incredibly focused on team synergy, carefully crafts teams to bring out the best in each character

Tests best damage output too

But also he’d probably use meta characters and secretly raise the ones he actually likes?

Current fave: Yoimiya

Uses strong characters for coop but uses his faves for single player domains (or coop with iwaizumi)

Likes characters but surprisingly wouldnt be too invested in the plot

does not whale out of pride

Iwaizumi

Geo user

Uses characters he finds respectable in the storyline + hard hitters

Razor, klee, jean main but unaware of the family relationship

Sometimes uses beidou although her burst takes too long sometimes

Pretty casual player, only started because of Oikawa

Hanamaki

obviously he and matsukawa would make zhongli pillar dick jokes

Kaeya and beidou main (he thinks they’re cool)

Not that impatient to wait for bursts to charge or has a lot of energy recharge

whale

Matsukawa

……. Hutao main

funeral home

Would use qiqi and hutao together for the meme then grows to genuinely like qiqi

Saves up for a really long time then spends it all at once

Kindaichi

Doesn’t play much tbh

Offline for a week, comes back to do commissions for one day, leaves

Kunimi

Hed be pretty good

but lazy and forget to do dailies

then buy welkin moon instead

Focuses more on the story too rather than gameplay and points out loopholes

Mains whoever he has in his team with good synergy (like chongyun xingqiu xiangling)

Kyoutani

Rage quits 5 minutes in after hearing paimon’s voice 😔

Throws his phone at the wall

Yahaba

Simps for jean

Mains jean

Dedicated to dailies and spiral abyss

But doesn’t wish that much

Was the one who tried getting kyoutani into it and suffered the consequences

Nekoma

Kuroo

ENTP king raises a whole arsenal of characters for spiral abyss

I cant see him really getting attached to one in particular ?

makes zhongli pillar dick jokes every chance he can get

but also uses him for utility

Wants to try using a whole bunch of characters and wishes on every banner

But uses the meta ones with good team comps

sparks twitter debates with ….. interesting takes

“_____ is completely shit”

Kenma

OH BOY HES A GAMER GAMER

Whale whale whale whale

He’s tony to

Best synergy teams, understands the value of elemental mastery, REALLY values good supports, calculates possible damage numbers

Kazuha, zhongli, bennett, venti are a staple in his teams

Helps hinata and kuroo until kuroo teases too much by deliberately playing horribly

mildom and youtube streamer like murase ayumu

Appreciates story and lore very much too

Yaku

he’d LOVE the children

Probably would use characters that remind him of family members and friends

Klee, diona, qiqi, chongyun, xingqiu, razor, bennett

does spiral abyss but not obsessively

Lev

KENMA-SAN!!! LETS PLAY TOGETHER!!!

I’m sorry he would not know how the game works

Doesn’t do the ascension quests and gets stuck at AR 26 with 500k extra points

Thinks he’s amazing but it’s because he’s stuck at world level 1

I’m sorry lev ily but ……. its the truth

Tries pulling for everyone too and mains the first 5 star he got

(childe because he’s russian AKSHDKDHSKSHS /j)

Wants diluc and xiao because they look cool but gets Mona instead (doesnt understand how to use her)

Yamamoto

Also raises the women like tanaka but + kaeya

Lev complained to him about getting Mona while he’s wanted Mona for months

Not really a dedicated intense gamer EXCEPT for during those battle events

Fukurodani

Bokuto

WANTS THE STRONG AND COOL LOOKING 5 STARS

Eula, zhongli, diluc, xiao

but doesn’t know how to build either

doesn’t understand stats

would feel really bad for qiqi

Wouldn’t like signora for hurting venti :(

Wouldn’t like childe too :( until he plays the story quest and sees the ruin guard cutscene

then starts sobbing because of what a good brother he is

“AKAAAASSHI I wanna do that too!!!” then he dies

Tries to use childe but doesn’t understand the cool down management

Mispronounces and misspells tartaglia (タルタリア)

for more info on how bokuto plays genshin see Kimura ryohei’s YouTube channel ✨

Akaashi

the true childe main (just like me)

Uses characters based on utility

but mains whoever reminds him of bokuto FJDHFJFJDKSJ

Very good supports but unlike Kenma, he chooses and builds supports around his main

also uses very good supports so people won’t realize he’s using childe for the cv kimura ryohei (everyone knows anyway)

Literature nerd appreciates the plot, writing and deep lore too

Konoha

Tries pulling for everyone but has REALLY bad luck

Has really good characters but never the one he wants

loses all 50/50s and has a c4 qiqi

Ends up maining qiqi as dps

sorry konoha i didn’t mean to slander you

Shiratorizawa

Ushijima

does not know how to play or build

Uses whoever he has (aka starters)

Only plays because tendou downloaded and made an account for him

Doesn’t know how to ascend characters or farm

Forgets about talents (me)

Weirdly good RNG and doesn’t realize it 😩

“Let me look at your account wakatoshi-kun”

“Sure”

“You didn’t tell me you had 6 of jean’s Stella fortuna???”

“What’s that?”

Tendou

this man pulls for the seiyuus

Mains childe, hutao, mona for 5 stars

childe and hutao’s instinct based quickswap playstyle works so well for him!

jokes about cosplaying mona then actually does

Knows how to build, grinds, and manages ushijima’s account for him

Probably whales too

Shirabu

Meta meta meta meta

But f2p meta

Loves setting up reactions

More into the lore too and researches theories

Remembers actual names of boss drops

Semi: so how many of those buttplugs do you have again

Shirabu: 💢stop calling them buttplugs, they have actual names 💢

VERY diligent with battle pass, dailies, achievements and spiral abyss full stars

Until he //SPOILERS gets into med school and has no time for shit

Inarizaki

Atsumu

Would have a crush on a character I just know it

Invests heavily on his faves and is great at utilizing each of them

fussy . complains about a certain unit and how they can improve

or complains about how the game can improve to osamu

Osamu: yer just saying that cuz you couldn’t get a high score

Archons main (already saving for the tsaritsa)

Wouldn’t have a main dps but several hard hitting supports

Whale and falls victim to the weapon banner

Osamu

More casual player than Atsumu but still tries to get higher than him in events and spiral abyss

If atsumu’s a whale, osamu’s a dolphin

Great at dodging

Catalyst user!!

Mains ningguang, klee, yanfei + other catalyst supports

Also uses keqing

Kita

the man appreciates routine aka VERY diligent with dailies, battle pass, farming

“if you do things properly results will follow” or whatever quote he said ✨

Starter team but raises other characters for abyss

Reads dialogue and appreciates the plot

Barely gachas

Aran

will defend TO THE DEATH the underappreciated characters

Has empathy for noelle 🥺🥺

Noelle, Barbara, xinyan, bennett, children user 🥺

Talks to every NPC and loves the backstories and lore

also would feel really bad for qiqi

Suna

Uses the tall men and women and builds them all as dps (childe zhongli diluc kaeya beidou ningguang jean lisa rosaria eula)

He’d probably make a support character a dps tbh

Disregards team synergy for the shits but somehow manages to do domains and abyss

Itachiyama

Sakusa

c6 everyone

leaves

[jj-5656]

We’ll Be Alright

With; Newt (TMR)

A/N: Beware, it’s a sad. Anyways, it’s more Thomas and reader than anything else, both trying to overcome their grief. I also recommend sad music lmao. ALSO I do condone Teresa slander and yes I have read the books. I acknowledge the character development BUT AT WHAT COST?

You rub your fingers across the zipper of the jacket over your shoulders, glaring at the boy in front of you. Blood boiling as he carves her name onto the rock that potrudes from the sand. Each scratch of the knife against the stone, each letter makes your stomach churn in rage. Why the shuck would Thomas even consider putting it there, not after all she’d done. Your heart beats rapidly against your chest, pumping the hot blood throughout your nbody as your mind is flooded with the hate-

“Y/n, just breathe alright? You need to calm down.” Minho’s deep voice instructs softly beside you. Despite his soothing tone, the burning fire in front of the group of you does nothing to relax you.

This isn’t like you, you’ve never been one to get this angry. But it’s different now, you’re different. A lot of times there are moment when everything seems fine, but not when Thomas is carving her shucking name right where-

“Y/n, you’re practically seething just-” Minho’s cut off when you scramble up from your seat between him and Frypan, not bothering to listen to their protests as you March towards Thomas. Tunnel vision making the wide distance between you collapse in only seconds. He’s only halfway through carving out the ‘R’ when you shove him out of the way. No doubt catching him off guard as he looks at you with eyes wide in bewilderment.

“Wh-what the hell-”

“How dare you put her shucking name next to his! You have no right!” You shout instantly, voice raw with anger and hurt as the taller boy straightens himself out.

“Y/n, what are you-”

“You don’t even see how messed up it is, do you? She’s the reason Minho still can’t sleep at night, the reason he does all he can to escape sleep to avoid the awful night terrors. She’s the reason the boy I loved is dead! It’s her shucking fault. And what, because she assisted us the tiniest bit before shit hit the fan she deserves to be on that rock? That’s a load of klunk, Thomas.”

“I lost him too y/n!”

“Then how could you possibly love her Thomas? After all she did to us!” You shove him again, but the boy doesn’t move back this time. He steps to you, eyes filled with anger and confusion at your outburst. His next words tear you apart, and suddenly all the pent up anger you’ve been pushing down explodes as he speaks.

“WCKD took her too! The flare took all she had, she was only trying to make things right!” Without thinking, your fist crashes against the brunette’s cheek with a terrible thump. Pain immediately sears throughout your knuckles and up your arm, but it’s nothing compared to the never-ending ache of your heart.

“You slinthead! How dare you try and justify what she did to us! Does what she went through make her actions right? Does her pain excuse torturing thousands of kids for the sake of what WCKD felt was necessary? It doesn’t Thomas, and no amount of her regret or guilt can take it back. Or bring him back, bring him home!” Your voice cracks as you cradle your fist, warm tears streaming down your cheeks as Gally, Frypan, and Minho come rushing over.

“Take a walk y/n.” Gally yells once the others help Thomas to his feet. He holds his chin, dazed and shocked at your actions.

“Th-Thomas I didn’t-” You struggle to find the words as you slowly back away, stunned and terrified by your own force as you try to come to terms with what you’ve just done.

“I said take a walk!” The muscular blonde repeats, standing in front of you and nudging you toward the edge of the beach. You don’t protest this time, stumbling hurriedly toward the water in a fit of emotions.

****************

When you’ve finally calmed down, your blurred vision can just make out the large rock that stands a few yards from the crashing waves. You don’t hesitate to climb on top of it, settling down against the cold stone and wrapping the corduroy jacket around you even tighter. It still smells like him, and sometimes when you close your eyes you can still feel him.

“Hey, I know you’re scared. But we won’t hurt you, I promise you’re alright greenie.”

“Greenie?”

“That’s what we call all the newbies, I’m Newt by the way. What do you say you get out of this thing, lemme show you around? You’ll be alright greenie, I promise.” Without thinking, you take the stranger’s outstretched hand. You can’t remember who you are, where you’re from, or how you ended up here. Still, his kind eyes and warm smile draw you to him. You don’t know him, but you will.

“Newt, I know we have to save Minho but there’s still time for-”

“Darling, please. We talked about this.”

“No, you talked about it! You can’t make this decision on your own!”

“I know you’re scared, I’m scared too.”

“You don’t get it Newt, I won’t-I can’t do this without you.” He offers a soft smile when he wipes a tear from your cheek, but you can tell it’s not genuine. You grip onto his jacket, pleading with your eyes for him to reconsider. But the way he cups the sides of your face with blood-shot eyes makes the small bit of hope in your hear fizzle away. He’s already decided, he’s gonna leave you.

“Please, please don’t leave me Newt. Mihno’s gonna be here soon okay? He’s gonna bring the serum and this will all go away just...Please don’t go baby, please don’t leave me here. Thomas, Thomas he won’t stop bleeding! Go find Minho! Thomas, get up! We have to do something!” You’re screaming at the boy who only stares blankly ahead, tears streaming down his face as he meets your eyes. Your body wracks with sobs as he only shakes his head, getting up and walking towards the building ahed of you. You don’t attempt to get his attention anymore, grabbing the collar of Newts jacket and shaking him. “Wake up Newt, please wake up...” You throw your arms around him as you sob, hiding your face in his neck when Minho and the others reach you. It’s too hard to look at them, knowing their expressions will only make this moment more real. Is it real? This couldn’t be anything more than a nightmare. You can only mumble out protests when you feel Minho pulling you to your feet, wrapping his arms around your waist when you desperately try to get back to the cold body laying on the floor. “We can’t leave him here! We can’t just leave him!” Minho’s own cries are drowned out through white noise as he drags you back to the jet, Newts fluffy-collard jacket crumpled in your arms as you succumb exhaustion and defeat. He’s gone

Waves crash against the large rock in a rythmic dance. Bringing your knees up to your chest to fight the cold, you rub the stained sleeve of the brown jacket wrapped around you. The deep blue stain reminding you of that horrid night, the lifeless, black eyes that stared up at the sky as you were whisked away from your only love.

“Mind if I sit?” The solemn voice interrupts before you can spiral once more. You nod, not turning around to watch Thomas climb onto the Boulder and shuffle to sit beside you. The brunette looking out at the night sky with an thoughtful expression.

“I think about that night a lot, what we could have done differently. And I think somewhere out there, there’s a different ending for all of us. Where he’s here, and we don’t have to pretend there’s not someone missing at the bonfires or dinner table...I didn’t want to love her y/n, not after what she did to us. But you and I know it’s not something we can control. No matter what I do, I love her.” His voice cracks as he speaks, but he avoids your eyes when you look to him.

“What I said Thomas, what I did...That wasn’t fair. I should have never hit you. It’s just, I’m so angry Tommy. I’m so mad all the time and it’s so scary. Sometimes, I feel like I lost myself that night and I’ll never get her back. It’s like, I don’t know...Like whoever I once was, was left laying next to his body. I can’t imagine how scared he must have been, how alone he must have felt. To feel himself and all his memories slipping away all over again. He never deserved it, he didn’t deserve any of it. A lot of times I wish it was me-”

“D-don’t say that.”

“I do though, I wish it was me. He was too good for this world. He deserved a happy ending Thomas, damnit we all did. I feel like I can’t breathe when he’s not with me, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I mean, I punched you for gods sake! Same girl who wouldn’t even slice a pig her first day at the glade...” He lets out a small laugh, nostalgic smile pulling at his lips when he looks over at you.

“I remember Newt telling me about that, said he’d never seen a greenie tell Gally to go shuck himself until you.” You let out a pathetic chuckle, shaking your head and rubbing another oncoming wave of tears at his words.

“I miss him so much Tommy, it hurts all the time...I guess I’m still trying to forgive the world, forgive myself. I just wish I could talk to him one more time, hear his voice. I’m still trying to grasp he’s never coming back to me. I don’t know what to do with all these feelings sometimes, all this pain.”

“You could punch me again. You have a mean right hook by the way.” You meet his gaze with forced smile, tackling the taller boy into an embrace when you notice the fresh tears on his cheeks. He falters at the contact, but immediately wraps his arms around you with a sigh.

“I’m sorry Tommy. He loved you so much, I know he’d hate to see us fight. You didn’t deserve what I did, I know that. I should never taken my anger out on you.”

“It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean it. And I also know he would never have wanted you to blame yourself. He wanted you to be able to move on, to look back on all of it and know it was all meant to be. The shank also told me to take care of you, I guess I’m doing a pretty shuck job at that huh?” Your laugh is genuine this time, a little giggle that reassures Thomas he’ll be able to make sure of that promise some day in the future. He’d make sure Newt would have someone to look after you, always.

“He told me the same thing. I think you and Minho are doing all the work though.”

“Not a chance, I think I needed a good punch honestly. Who taught you how to hit like that?” You swat at his chest, pulling away from the hug to lean against his side.

“Gally, I think. Didn’t you get flashbacks from when he kicked your ass at the glade?”

“Hilarious, I could totally beat him in a fight now.”

“Right.”

“We should head back, the others might worry you were jacked enough to finish what you started.”

“Give me a couple minutes? I’ll meet you there.” You mutter softly, offering the boy a soft smile when he kisses the crown of your head and heads towards the firelight in the distance.

You let out a deep sigh when you look back out at the waves, stuffing your hands in the pockets of the jacket to warm them. Movements faltering when you feel something like twine wrap around your fingers. Pulling out the small item, your heart swells when you finally see what’s blocked your hand. It’s a strand of braided leather, a bracelet you recognize as the one Newt wore back in the glade. The frayed ends of the tattered leather warm your heart, surveying his tedious handywork with moisture filled eyes. Suddenly, a wave of assurance overcomes you. As if the boys’ finnally been able to communicate it’ll all be okay. You wrap the fabric around your fingers, pressing it against your lips before heading toward the campfire in the distance. Everything’s gonna be okay.

[madeyoumyvillain]

☕ maylen slander 🤭

Thanks for the ask bb @darklingswhxore ☀️🖤🌘💛

*me to myself, slowly,but with a lot of feelings* oh my fucking god my time to shine has come

This is gonna be long, apologies🌻

Where do i even start with blade boy?

to me,he didn't matter ONE BIT in the first two books, because my innocent self thought "hey,this is an ETL story,Darklina endgame no matter what and Malyen will just,,,go away" but,alas,I was fooled and baited by Leigh Bardugo. But that rant is for another day. My problem with Malyen isn't just that he's boring and basic and has the personality of a broken pencil. It's deeper than that. But he's someone so irrelevant to me,that I don't like chanelling my energy towards him. But let's go.

My problem with Malyen is,he seems very real. The way he treats Alina,the way he's filled to the brim with victim complex,the way everything he says to her is something I've heard myself,the way he thinks that he should be rewarded for being there for his best friend. Basically,he's the embodiment of what a real toxic man is like. Notice how I emphasized on real? Because men like him exist. And we deal with them everyday. They belittle you. They gaslight you. They slutshame you. They mock you for being happy and independent. They say they're scared of you,even when you don't mean any harm,when you're the more powerful one for once. They scream at you for flinching. They keep on reminding you of the things they did for you,even if you didn't ask them to in the first place. They think tht can talk on your behalf. They. Are. Real. Alot of people argue that Malyen was just 17 and dealing with alot so we can't hate him,they also say he's the less toxic choice for Alina. But this isn't a competition of more toxic and less toxic,it shouldn't be. You're either toxic,or you're not.

I know and I understand that Aleksander was toxic too. But Aleksander is a centuries old shadow summoning grisha. Aleksander is a fairytale villain meanwhile men like Malyen are very real. And as someone who has been in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship,the way Malyen went ahead and kissed Zoya rather than talking and understanding Alina's situation and why she flinched,it reminded of the times I was misunderstood,of the times when I flinched and was punished with a cold shoulder and ill treatment. I choose to ignore Malyen and the shitty endgame in the books,but how am I supposed to ignore it when it happens in my reality too? Bardugo very recently mentioned how she was in an abusive relationship herself when she was writing SnB,so after that info,I'm supposed to hate Aleksander, right? Because according to her he is the embodiment of her abusive ex,but what she seems to forget is,the main relationship in the books isn't Darklina,it's Malina. And Malina on its own is still a very,very toxic and weak ship. Alina mutilated herself just because she didn't want to leave Mal when the Grishas were testing her. In the beginning of SnS,Mal for once does not care that Alina is getting sick and frail because she's not using her powers. More than once he mentions how he's scared of her and how he wants the old Alina back. The same Alina who you ignored the whole time,Malyen? The same powerless and dependent Alina?

I'll be very honest,I started to love him in RnR. Yes,love him. His and Alina's platonic dynamic makes me SO happy. They'd be perfect as friends. But by the time the book ended and Alina lost her powers and even after being offered by Nikolai to rule Grishas and Ravka,she said no,how much should I bet that if Malyen stayed dead,she would've said yes? Malyen got EXACTLY all that he wanted,Alina legit got nothing. But how can I blame either when both of them are equally selfish? Yes,Alina is selfish,that's something I'll rant about some other day.

Thoughts about show! Malyen? He's not even the same person he is in the books and I'm so sorry to say that Malyen on his own is great but the 8 hrs of Malina? Not something I'd like to go through again. Show! Malyen is funny and is there for his friends and has his own struggles but if you have to completely drastically do a 180° on a character,it proves the point that he wasn't nice in the first place. If he was already the amazing character we were told he was,why would they not follow anything he did or said in the books? Why did they choose to make Zoya a racist on top of the meangirl bully plotline which already made her unlikeable yet make show! Malyen this embodiment of Mr. Perfect that he isn't? Isn't it fucking hilarious how people sympathized for him for losing Mikhael and Dubrov yet shit on Aleksander for being so vengeful after seeing centuries of his people, Grisha and Ravkan alike,dying,burned on stakes, experimented on while he could do nothing to stop it? Hypocrisy,hm? The only thing in commow show! Malyen and book! Malyen have are their names and being a tracker because the rest is just different, drastically different. And if they're gonna stick to the Malina propaganda in S2 too,then can someone make a compilation of all Darkling/Darklina/Crows scenes and send it to me? Because I won't be watching it.

These are my opinions and my opinions only,I respect anyone who does or doesn't agree. Do tell me what parts you agree with. Thank you <3

[dont-tempt-me-frodo]

The Jaskier Effect

Also on ao3

The first time that Eskel noticed things were changing, he was collecting the payment for a contract on a wraith in Velen. The alderman handed him a leather coin pouch with a wink, saying “Toss a coin to your Witcher,” and then proceeded to hum some tune as Eskel turned to leave.

Not every interaction was as odd, or as pleasant, but he did find that over the following months there was generally a slightly more tolerant attitude whenever he walked into a village or town, and less people tried to cheat him out of the coin he was owed for his work. If he hadn’t spent the better part of a century being shunned or ridiculed for being a Witcher, he probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth? But he still kept his guard up. Aired on the side of caution. People don’t just change, and he was suspicious about this new growing respect for his kind.

It was in a tavern in Redania where he heard the song in full for the first time. He was perched at a table in the corner, thumbing a tankard of piss-poor ale when a young female bard started up and one of the patrons requested it.

It took Eskel a good few minutes to process that the song was about Geralt.

He didn’t know what was more surprising. The fact that his brother in arms had let a bard tag along on a hunt, or that he had allowed a song to be composed about him after the fact. Then again, he knew how much the title of ‘The Butcher of Blaviken’ upset Geralt, so maybe being sung about as a hero wouldn’t be so bad after all. Eskel had certainly noticed how this one song had started to affect people’s perceptions of Witchers, however subtle.

After the performance, Eskel had approached the female bard and asked if she was the one who wrote it. Essi, he later found out to be her name, had humbly thanked him but told him that a dear friend of hers had composed it. A bard called Jaskier.

Jaskier.

Eskel was very intrigued.

That winter he waited impatiently for Geralt to join them at Kaer Morhen. He asked Lambert if he had noticed the change and, Lambert being Lambert, had jumped on the chance to use it as a new way of getting into people’s pants. Not that he needed any help with that in the first place, but this new growing respect for Witchers definitely had its advantages.

Vesemir, like Eskel, advised on the err of caution.

“It won’t last,” he had warned, “It never does.”

“All the more reason to reap the benefits now, right Eskel?” Lambert threw him a lewd wink.

Eskel had grunted but not really given Lambert an answer.

When Geralt eventually showed up, just as the first snows started to fall, Eskel quizzed him mercilessly about the bard. He wanted to know how on earth the young human had found himself in the prickly Witcher’s company.

Geralt gave a very stunted story of how he met Jaskier and the adventure that followed but Eskel knew him well enough to see that the bard and his songs had affected Geralt in more ways than one. The White Wolf held affection for Jaskier. His hard edges were slightly softer than they had been last time they met. There was a new warmth to his amber eyes. Geralt, usually so closed off to the world, had unwillingly, or unwittingly, let someone in.

Witchers don’t tend to have friends outside of their own kind, and even then, they usually stick to their own Witcher School, and even then, sometimes ‘friend’ was such a strong word, but Eskel could see that this Jaskier had the potential to help Geralt find that part of himself so many believed was stripped from him when he underwent the mutations.

Geralt of course, insisted that Jaskier was not his friend and, come spring, when Eskel asked him if he was going to travel with the bard again Geralt shrugged with a grunt.

“If our paths cross, our paths cross,” the white haired Witcher answered nonchalantly.

Eskel just rolled his eyes.

“Well thank him for me if they do,” he rumbled.

“What for?” frowned Geralt.

“For the good work he’s doing for all Witcher kind,” Eskel grinned with a wink.

Geralt scoffed, mounted his faithful mare and disappeared down the trail.

As the years passed by and more songs about the White Wolf emerged, Eskel found his job as a Witcher to be less monotonous and more interesting. People were actually willing to converse with him, even offer him better rates for contracts. One barkeep even gave him a free beer because he recognised the wolf medallion around Eskel’s neck.

“You a wolf Witcher? You know that Geralt? Drinks on the house!”

Eskel was sure he’d never get used to it.

And, as he expected, not everyone was keen on the new perspective of Witchers. Some still slandered him in the streets, threw stones, spat at him, tried to pick fights with him that he knew they’d never win. But, thanks to Jaskier and his influence, life as a Witcher had improved considerably.

When Geralt returned to Kaer Morhen each winter, he always brought more stories of his time spent travelling with the bard. Eskel could see the brightness in his eyes and the soft way he spoke about Jaskier. Geralt was warm and open and laughing and joking, and it had been a long time since Eskel had seen him like this. The affect the bard was having on him, it was nice. Good.

Lambert insisted that Geralt should invite Jaskier to Kaer Morhen the next winter. Geralt had laughed it off, saying that Jaskier would much rather spend his winters warm and cosy in Oxenfurt than freezing his balls off with the likes of them, but he could see the thought playing in Geralt’s mind and he really hoped that Geralt would introduce them to the bard next year.

Eskel didn’t have to wait that long though.

It was nearing the end of summer and Eskel was passing through Novigrad. He usually avoided the big cities, but he was running low on a very specific herb to brew his potions and he knew the herbalist off Hierarch Square was the only place for miles around where he could get it.

He had wrapped his travel cloak around himself, making sure his hood hid his face as he ventured into the city. The general attitude and acceptance towards Witchers was better than it had ever been but, in Novigrad, where the majority of the populace was still out to get anyone non-human, he couldn’t be too careful.

His transaction with the herbalist went as smoothly as he could have hoped, and he pocketed the small pouch of herbs carefully. By now though, it was starting to get late and his horse was tired from the long day of traveling so, he decided to stop off in a tavern for the night.

He left his mount in the capable hands of the stable boys and slunk into the ‘Kingfisher’ without drawing too much attention to himself.

The heat of the tavern hit him in a stifling cloud. The tang of alcohol and sweat swirled about him, and the wall of noise was a mixture of shouted conversation and singing along with whomever the entertainment was for the evening.

Eskel wove his way through the many patrons and quietly discussed a room for the night with the barkeep.

Wary of the Witcher, the squat man had warned him if there was any trouble, he’d be out quicker that you could say Gwent. Eskel accepted his terms and found a stool at the edge of the bar to inhabit as he nursed a tankard of ale.

Hood still drawn to shadow his face, he cast his keen eyes over the patrons and his attention was drawn to the musician in front of the hearth.

The bard was a few years shy of thirty. Dark brown windswept looking hair and bright blue eyes. He was stood on a stool and was stamping in time to the beat of his wild lute playing. His voice was rich and just as colourful as the teal doublet and breeches he wore, embroidered and patterned with navy blue.

There was something about him, like he was familiar somehow. Then it hit him. He knew exactly who this bard was.

“Ho Hey

But the Witcher knew

Took a Witcher’s brew

And the Witcher slew.

Ho Hey

And the village knew

That their beast was through

And tossed his way some coin and ale and stew.”

Jaskier beamed as he sang, the patrons around him joining in with this chorus, stamping and clapping in time.

Eskel couldn’t tare his eyes away. Geralt’s description of the bard had been spot on but he could never have been prepared for…well this.

The confidence, the elegance that came with his playing. The animated charm. The way he had everyone around him engaged and enjoying themselves. Eskel could understand why Geralt was drawn to him.

He was barely listening to the lyrics. Just staring at the man who had won over his brother in arms.

Jaskier sang the chorus again then finished with a flourish, grinning at the rambunctious applause.

“Thank you,” he winked at a passing barmaid who swooned, “I will be taking a short break but fear not. I will return.”

There was a mixture of cheers and protests as the young bard skipped through the crowd and leaned over the bar, very close to where Eskel was sitting.

Gods above, Eskel thought to himself, his scent!

Jaskier smelled like lavender and sandalwood, fresh parchment and woodsmoke. It was a scent that Eskel had picked up on many occasions throughout the last few winters. Lingering on Geralt’s clothing, on Roach’s saddlebags.

With a goblet of wine in hand, Jaskier thanked a woman who was excitedly complimenting his singing and when she finally melted back into the throng, he took a long drink and then rested his gaze on Eskel.

Amber eyes met blue and Jaskier quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Well, well, well,” the bard crooned, voice thick with curiosity, “Dark and mysterious stranger who has been ogling me since he came in turns out to be a dark and mysterious Witcher.”

Eskel swallowed hard, not quite sure what to say to him. Not that it really mattered because Jaskier barely paused for breath before he continued.

“Let me see. Wolf Witcher,” Jaskier indicated the medallion just visible through the folds of grey cloak then narrowed his eyes at him, “You must be Eskel.”

Eskel absently touched the long scar tracking down the right side of his face. Of course Geralt had talked about his brothers with the bard, described them to his friend.

Jaskier’s expression softened.

“No,” he smiled kindly, “It’s the eyes, the jaw. You look a lot like Geralt. Except, you know, he has white hair and you’ve got – is it dark brown? Black? Anyway. I’m Jaskier.”

Eskel hesitated before taking the offered hand and Jaskier shook it enthusiastically.

“I imagine Geralt has mentioned me. Though not all bad, I hope. So, what brings you to Novigrad? Some monster lurking about? You doing some Witchering?”

Eskel was baffled by this young man.

Jaskier talked quickly without much pause for thought, true, but he was talking to him like…they were equals. Friends even. The bard was warm and open and ridiculously handsome, though Eskel would never tell Geralt that he thought so. There wasn’t an ounce of the usual fear he experiences when talking to people. No guarded expression. No hidden motivation. Just an imploring gaze and friendly smile.

Eskel understood completely why Geralt had given in to allowing Jaskier to travel with him. He didn’t see what everyone else saw. Didn’t see the Witcher, the monster, the savage killer. He saw Geralt. And now, he saw Eskel.

“Thank you,” Eskel heard himself say.

Confusion twitched in Jaskier’s expression and he tilted his head slightly.

“For what?” he hummed.

For what? Eskel bit his cheek. For helping to improve Geralt’s image? For being Geralt’s friend? For changing how people see Witchers? For increasing the payment prospects of contracts for Witchers across the continent? For everything?

“For your songs,” he settled on.

Jaskier flashed him a dazzling smile.

“You’re welcome,” he smirked.

Eskel realised that Jaskier had no idea how much his songs had actually affected the Witchers and their place in the continent. He had no idea that singing about Geralt was just the start of a ripple that had spread across the lands and changed people for the better. He had no idea of the legacy he was building, for himself, for his friend, and for all the working Witcher’s who used to struggle to get a decent price for even a few Drowners.

The fame of Jaskier the bard wasn’t exclusive to the high courts and bustling taverns. Jaskier had no idea how big his impact actually was.

And Eskel didn’t have the first clue on how to start telling him.

“You staying in Novigrad long?” Jaskier asked breezily, taking a sip from his goblet.

“Not if I can help it,” the Witcher shrugged.

“No jobs enticing enough to make you change your mind?”

“Unfortunately no one puts out contracts on Priests of the Eternal Fire,” Eskel grunted.

Jaskier snorted into his wine and Eskel felt his lips pull in a small smile.

“Fair enough,” Jaskier composed himself, eyes blazing with mirth, “We can’t always be so lucky.”

“What about you? How long are you here for?” being drawn into conversation with the bard was easy. It felt natural and relaxed and safe.

“Meh, who knows? Until I bore of the markets and politics and need to get back out there on the Path,” Jaskier frowned at the dregs lining the bottom of his goblet and Eskel flagged down the barkeep to order more drinks.

“Going to look for Geralt?” Eskel glanced at Jaskier over the top of his tankard.

“I might,” Jaskier shot him a playful grin, “Unless you want the company on the road for a while.”

It was Eskel’s turn to choke slightly on his drink.

“A new muse could be just what I need. How about it Eskel? Not all my songs have to be about Geralt, you know.”

Eskel caught those blue eyes and held them for a moment.

“Sure. Why not?” he rumbled.

“Excellent,” Jaskier clapped his hands together gleefully, “You and me Eskel, we’re gonna change the world.”

You already have, Eskel thought to himself, and I’m going to spend whatever time we have together making you see it. Making you understand. Showing you what you’ve done for us. For me. And for Geralt. The affect you’ve had on all Witchers and the world you have created for us. Just you wait and see.

Impalaloompa on ao3

[mythvoiced]

💲, 👓, 🎥, 💔, 💯(aND THIS ONE FOR ANYONE YOU'D LIKE, BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS INTERESTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ANY OF YOUR MUSES, THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, PLS FEEL FREE TO SKIP ANY OF THE ASKS I SENT IN ;W; )

@theimpalpable | sex+romance headcanons!

---

💲Would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich? GOING TO GIVE THESE TO MY GIRL SARANG, THANK YOU SO FOR SENDING THEM IN ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; SO, there’s a vague yes here but also a definite no? Sarang doesn’t care much for money, she does care, though, for the connections and implications of power that come with being rich, and more often than not, she needs those connections, those privileges and luxuries that come with being rich, to get to other people, or even to bring someone else to fall. The Order claims to want to cleanse the world and they do, they also realise that some mortal, financial, bureaucratic ways commonly used by people in our society could be as efficient to advance in this direction, if not more so. Mundane tasks, in contrast to the killings, and tasks reserved for Knights like Sarang, along with an unwritten NDA she signed with her blood. So, yes, she’d get into someone’s good graces and play pretty arm candy to advance into this direction, but on a personal level? Never. She values herself too much and wealth too little, not only because an existence such as hers sees no value in finances like that (at least, according to her perspective on it), but also because? She genuinely does not see the gain in it, it’s not worth it.

👓 Would my muse ever lie for sex? Nopesters, unless you count not revealing her identity or nature as lie of omission, but even then, she’s not doing it for sex, she’s just… always doing it, she can’t approach people and lay it all out before them. They’d hardly believe her even if she did. She won’t, either way, keeping her nature, her name, her memories, held tightly against her, locked away within her, is her form of defiance against the entire world and the Order in particular, they’re hers, she is hers, and hers only.

🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush? GOOD QUESTION, and I’m not sure, mostly because I’ve never quite established how familiar Sarang is with pop culture? BUT, I can instead give a vague idea of what personality types and appearances she finds attractive, and then, welp, anyone who fits those descriptions, would work as an answer here~

The traits Sarang is physically and romantically attracted to don’t always coincide. She might find a certain set of personality traits attractive in theory, but not anywhere beyond a kiss smacked on a pair of lips, or entertained in a night of passion.

She does find Hyuk attractive, for example (>:3), he’s tall and broad-shoulder; his standoffish nature, his sharp tongue, his general distaste towards mincing his words, it’s attractive in a physical sense, she likes the idea of pushing him to see how much he’ll take before things get serious, she likes watching him squirm a little, and she does wonder what he might be like in bed. But she’s not interested in him beyond that (at least… so far, from what she knows about him).

Romantically speaking, she’s not big on the unapproachable, she’s not into the bad boy, the cold shoulder archetype, she’s not big on the Jason Dean or the Wolverine, the antihero. She’d be more interested in, say, someone like Caradoc or Lexine, who try to be good wherever they go. I’m mentioning them both (COUSINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE--!) because it’s not about Caradoc’s more chipper nature in contrast to Hyuk or Lexine’s gentleness, it’s the goodness they both exude. She wouldn’t see it as purity, but it is an attempt to remain good, it is an attempt to remain kind, and, also, they actually have a tendency to crack a smile every now and then (this is Hyuk slander and I should be ashamed). But Caradoc isn’t exactly her type, physically speaking? He’s got the height and the smile, but he’s relatively boyish (CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG PLS), he’s cute to her, you know? Not exactly up her alley, along with his level of energy.

Domenic is perhaps the best example of what Sarang finds attractive both physically/aesthetically/for fun, and in a romantic context. Gentleness and the value for goodness, someone who sees being kind and giving something back to the world as something worth their time. Someone who does also exude calmness, though, and a sense of being established in their self, facing the world without turning other’s smiles upside down. He’s also tall and light-haired, has nice hands (I don’t know if he does for sure, Sarang seems to be convinced he does-) and his glasses icons are sexy as hell.

💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak? Sarang’s first heartbreak is her current heartbreak, her canon love interest Leif. He’s only half-included in her canon on mythvoiced as a love interest, because binding her this way would potentially leave her less open for forging romantic connections outside of him, I’m not someone who can’t have muses who aren’t available for romantic shipping, I have plenty of aromantic muses or muses who are so difficult to romantically ship with that it’s almost as if they aren’t shippable at all in this context (Yihwa, for one), but for Sarang, I tend to separate her as she’s featured on mythvoiced from her in her canon as I’m developing her ‘offline’ if you will, I’d like to explore her into directions she wouldn’t have opportunity to offline, and as such, he’s only potentially featured as a love interest, but mostly ceases to exist as such in given contexts.

BUT I do think he would generally count as a first heartbreak. Joseon Sarang was old enough to be presented to the public as a yangban woman looking for a husband, she probably should have already been settled actually, but truth is, her family wasn’t big on opening up to other families, in this context as well? She truly spent basically all her life until she ‘died’ within her room. Then loads of shit happened that didn’t really leave much room for romance and then BOOM Leif.

A heartbreak because being both Knights, what could they possibly do?

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date? Depends entirely on the circumstances :333 An ideal date in a scenario in which the date is meant to further her in some endeavour or the other would be a date that is suitable for the occasion, for the task, a date that is appealing to the given person involved so that they remain involved for as long Sarang needs them to be, and a date that allows her quick ‘escape’, if you will.

A date that isn’t too troublesome, in this context, would be ideal.

But in a context of actual, genuine romance, where she’s going on a date because she wants to, I think anything that is tranquil. She lives quite an active life, stuck somewhere between trapped and on the run, she hardly ever truly rests mentally. So a date, an occasion in which she can be with someone she trusts, someone she likes being with, someone she simply likes in general, she’d like it to balance the rest of her life out.

Mundane things, doing things that give the impression she’s normal enough to do them. Attending a fair, going to a festival, a carnival, cutesy stuff, attending an event that isn’t too loud and messy, a classic anime festival date, I’d say ♥