#he was cute before but now he is cutie with a lot more trauma and a donut

[bxttxrflybxddie]

Dating Geraldus

A/n: Don't look at me like that. I tried working on requests but he's infiltrated my mind, running around day and night!!!! He's a cutie and I love him lol, might do spiced headcannons later who knows. I could probably write some more but these are the many thoughts that have been rummaging through my head.

Requested: no lol

Pairing: Harper (Soon-to-be Watcher) Geraldus x gn!Reader

Word Count: 1.7+k

Warnings: Lots of fluff, brief mentions of marriage and having children (no birth mentioned but wonders about similar traits the parents and children share, I want to make it clear I am NOT excluding adoption nor other ways of starting a family!!!), brief food mentions as well, existential dread related to trauma and heavy disassociation towards the end. Reader = Tav, Tav = Reader

You accompany him to his ceremony where he’s named a Watcher! He offers an arm to escort you like a gentleman, and you not-so-secretly get a feel of the upper strength he’s been keeping private. You practically hang off of his elbow the entire evening and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Him being fiercely protective of you. Not crossing your boundaries, but keeping an eye open for any signs of danger when you’re around. He knows more than well that you’re capable of taking down enemies on your own but he wants to be someone you can lean on; someone you can look to being your shield against the evils of the world. It’s more than Geraldus wanting to be useful but more of him wanting to keep you safe and protected.

A plethora of nicknames for you. There’s the familiar use of “love” and “dear” with an occasional “my” before the term, but every now and then he calls you his “moonbeam” since you guide his way through the dark. 

You receive plenty of letters when he’s sent away for work. Long and detailed confessions of how he misses your warmth and how he can’t wait to return by your side. He writes dreamy imaginations of how you both would spend time at the current location he’s stuck in. Geraldus even tries his hand at poetry, each line about you.

Send him letters back! He has a growing collection of each note you’ve sent him, the majority are kept close to his nightstand but your most recent ones stay in his pockets while on duty. He likes to reread them in his spare time; memorizing each curve of every stroke of ink in your handwriting. He will also memorize specific phrases or terms of endearment you’ve written.

Meeting his mom! She instantly loves you for what you mean to her son, but makes an effort to get to know you personally as well. She adores when you lend a helping hand around the farm or assist her in making desserts! Geraldus is usually standing still; struck with Cupid’s arrow as he watches you and his mother get along. His heart melts in the beautiful domestic bliss of the moment!

Geraldus makes a daily effort to tell you how much you mean to him, one way or another. He tends to accidentally repeat sentences he’s already said to remind you that the words will always remain truthful. He also likes figuring out which vocabulary can make you shy, with a darted gaze and heated cheeks. He thinks it’s cute when you’re nervous given your reputation as the grand savior of Baldur’s Gate.

Being with you has him realize how much of a touchy cuddlebug he is deep down. Holding your hand, resting his head on your head/shoulder, and keeping a hold around your waist or bicep quickly become some of his favorite activities. Adores to hold you from behind when you are both standing and likes to be held against your chest when laying down in bed. It’s as if he can finally breathe; decompress and embrace the safety of purely you. He doesn’t mean to, but he does smell you when your bodies are intertwined. Your scent is very soothing to him. Very grabby in his sleep as well, he subconsciously wants to keep you close no matter when.

He’s so nervous under your stare; he can’t help feeling flustered. You’re looking at him, every detail about himself is completely bare and out in the open for you to judge. Along with a soft expression filled with adornment from you is, more likely than not, aimed at his direction. It doesn’t help that you can read him like a book. Further in your relationship he grows more confident and sure of himself. 

You can find him tripping over his words early in your relationship, particularly in moments where he’s trying to impress you. A few words of reassurance helps him immensely. 

He loves feeling your fingers between his raven locks. You usually brush his hair in the morning and at night, sometimes giving his scalp a comforting scratch. This is the quickest way to have him asleep in your lap. He snores slightly but is easy to wake if it’s time to get up. 

Geraldus frequently has nightmares. Not only from the incident where you both met but also from the other horrors he’s seen during his work as a Watcher. He despises waking you up in the middle of the night since he hates being bothersome. However, he’ll still selfishly indulge in your comfort after nudging you to consciousness if he can’t handle his fears himself. Pull him close, his pointed ear against the thump of your heartbeat is precisely what he needs as both consolement and a lullaby. 

Every time he thinks of his future, he pictures you. He wants to be yours for the rest of his life and is definitely considering proposing after a couple years of being your significant other. If you have previously expressed wanting children someday, Geraldus could spend hours imagining how amazing parents the two of you would be. It’s almost as if he’s conjuring them into reality with how much he’s thinking. Maybe your daughter will have your nose, maybe your son will have his hair…

His kisses leave you feeling special. He first kisses you with only lip, shaking slightly as he feels blessed by the Gods themselves to have this opportunity with both hands on each side of your face. As the kiss progresses he’ll clumsily add some tongue, but leave you to take control. He likes it when you do. 

With leaving some room for imagination, he really enjoys following your orders. He appreciates a kind tone when telling him to do something more than barking out instructions, but he’s a good boy and will do what’s needed nonetheless. He also appreciates rewards for his good behavior.

His laugh is so loud now that he’s found it again, largely in thanks to you.

Geraldus will always catch you if you were to throw yourself at him, maybe not lift you off the ground but certainly collide his toned body with yours. He might stumble depending on the day and sometimes he’ll even fall over but he'll use his figure to soften the blow. Hold him against yourself nevertheless! Squeeze him tightly when he walks through the door after not seeing him for a while because of his duties! It makes him feel treasured and wanted. 

The Watcher isn’t necessarily a bad cook, but simple is a better word to describe his meals. He has primarily made food for only himself after leaving his mother’s care, but was mainly helping with the side dishes in his youth instead of the main course. Since you’ve lightened his life, he tries to improve as a chef! From experimenting dishes to asking his mother about certain recipes, he’ll be trying his best to make a “Marry Me” meal that’ll make you proud! 

Since Geraldus is gone for duty every now and then, he likes to return with special dates planned. It’s one of the many ways he likes to thank you for your patience and for choosing to stay by his side. Sometimes the dates are fancy, but more often than not they’re inexpensive and personal. Involving your favorites across multiple categories and sweet moments the two of you have previously shared. 

On dates in general, he tends to keep quiet and let you do the talking. He loves to hear about your dreams, aspirations, thoughts, opinions, and how your day went. Listening to how a scenario played out, even if he was there/involved, from your point of view is a joy to him. Yes, you’ll have to be the “He asked for no pickles!” in this relationship but it’s worth it and more. However, if you ask him a question he’s sure to respond. If it’s about a particular topic he may rant a tangent and then promptly apologize. Ask him about his work, he has so much gossip stored that's ready to be shared.

Geraldus does have thoughts about how lucky he is to be yours, and how it almost doesn’t feel real to him. Sometimes, he wonders if he met his end all the way back on that horrible night, and your time together has only been a vision. Or, maybe it’s what was in store for him after his life all along. He also speculates if he's currently going through his passing, and instead of flashing through the memories of his life he’s instead creating new and beautiful ones with you by his side and being named a Watcher. You’ll have to regularly ground him and bring himself back from the deceiving space his trauma has created in his mind. You’re here, He’s here, you two are here together, all of his memories are real, and you are both alive in this very moment. Learning a few breathing practices and taking the time to inhale and exhale with him is something he couldn’t live without. 

On the other side of that coin, he also has moments - very brief moments - where he wonders if you’re a doppelganger. That the real you, who he never had a chance with to begin with, is gone and in your place is this face-stealing creature that has seen him at his realest, weakest, and most vulnerable self. He is quick to brush those thoughts away. If you were a doppelganger, then surely, you would’ve ended him already; you’ve had every chance to do so. On his worst days, he thinks of the latter that wraps around into his “Is this even real?” moments. Ground and breathe with him still, but giving him some extra support through therapy will be beneficial for him for years to come. He still needs a good cry on occasions, hold him close and rub his back while he gets everything off of his chest and starts the day anew. 

He’s all yours; every fiber of his being is under your mercy and you continue to prove that you sweetly care for him. For that, he loves you. He loves you with the gentle thrum of his heart, with every moment shared between you two, with each arrow he aims, and with all of the years that pass. 

© BXTTXRFLYBXDDIE

[lunerna21]

I've been feeling on and off for a while, but I wanted to talk about a couple of things

(***LONGISH POST AHEAD! MY BRAIN IS RUNNING AT A MILLION MILES PER HOUR!***)

I THOUGHT WEREN'T GETTING A BOOK 7 UPDATE BUT WE’RE STACKED FOR BOTH EN AND JPN SERVERS!!

I'm gonna talk briefly about the EN server and then jump to talking about the JPN server

I was honestly expecting them to release maybe one more chapter before the end of the year, BUT THIS PERFECTLY OKAY WITH ME~!

I do wish they had just released Playful Land the beginning of October instead of the ending, but I'm glad the beginning of the month is Playful Land and then the end is Book 7

IM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO SOBBING FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME BUT WE'RE FINALLY PROGRESSING COMPARED TO LAST YEAR

I JUST WANT TO HUG SILVER AND SEBEK CAUSE I WAS INCONSOLABLE WHEN SEBEK WAS STRAIGHT FUCKING SOBBING AND SILVER KEPT BLAMING HIMSELF FOR EVERYTHING

IF WE GET ONE MORE CHAPTER IN DECEMBER FOR BOTH SERVERS, OOOOOOOOOO YANA I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!

Now, onto the JPN Server!!

***SPOILERS TO JPN SERVER BOOK 7 CONTENT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!***

.....Folks let me just say one thing...someone is gonna have to play for my therapy bills after this next chapter...

AND RUGGIE LOOKS SO CUTE BUT THEN I SAW HOW PEOPLE WERE SAYING HE'S ATTENDING ANOTHER SCHOOL IN HIS DREAM, SO ANOTHER STUDENT THAT DOESN'T DREAM ABOUT STILL BEING AT NRC!!!

I can't blame Ruggie either considering he was traumatized from Leona attacking AND trying to kill him, but also just how much Ruggie has been through SINCE THE GODDAMN DAY HE WAS BORN!

YANA, I SWEAR TO THE GREAT SEVEN IF THEY MAKE IT THAT BOTH HIS PARENTS ARE ALIVE AND RUGGIE HAS A HARD TIME COPING WITH THE REALITY THAT HE HAS TO GO BACK TO LOSING THEM AND BEING BROKE, I WILL BE SENDING YOU MY THERAPY BILL

LIKE, LOOK AT THIS FREAKING CUTIE!!

Ruggie Bucchi is without a doubt one of my favorite characters from Twist and IM GOING TO BE HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME SEEING RUGGIE GO THROUGH HIS TRAUMAS, CONSIDERING HE KEEPS THINGS PRIVATELY TO HIMSELF

RUGGIE BUCCHI, YOU ARE LOVED!!😭❤️❤️❤️

I am also so INCREDIBLY curious to see Leona's dream. Is he gonna be aware that it's a dream and accepts it? Is he like everyone else and doesn't remember anything from Lilia's farewell party?

And this will FINALLY BE ADDRESSED IN THIS UPDATE?!

WHAT DOES THAT MEANNNNNN?!?!

SOOOOOO WHAT DID YOU GIVE THEN, LEONA!?!

THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN EATING ME ALIVE FOR SO WAY TOO LONG BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF WE DON'T GET ANSWERS FOR THIS IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT

I FEEL OUT OF ALL THE BOOKS IN TWISTED WONDERLAND, THIS GROUP NEEDS REDEMPTION AND I WANNA SEE THEM BOND AND CRY TOGETHER OR SOMETHING JUST GIVE IT TO ME!!!

THE MOMENT I CAN GET A TRANSLATED VERSION OF THE UPDATE, I'M HAVING A TALL GLASS OF WINE AND SOME GREENERY (😉) AND DIVING INTO THIS CHAPTER!

LASTLY, I CANNOT BELIEVE WE ARE SO MUCH CLOSER (HOPEFULLY CAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE) TO SEEING ACE AND DEUCE AGAIN!!

AHHHHHH FHEJAFIOEAJFJERAJF I NEED TO SEE THEM BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR

One concern I have though is we haven't see the dream/visions of when Prince Philip gets kidnapped by Maleficent and her goons

SO WHAT IF HE'S JUST WAITING FOR THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO CUT US OFF AND PREVENT US FROM MAKING ANY MORE PROGRESS?!

AND WHAT ABOUT THIS ⬇️ ?!?!?!?!?!?!? (Sorry if it's a lot lol I'm overwhelmed, is it obvious?😂)

AHHHHHHH I JUST DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL GET ANSWERS FOR THIS IN HEARTSLABYUL'S CHAPTER, BUT IM HORRIFIED IM SEEING ACE AND DEUCE OVERBLOT OR SOMETHING

I NEED TO GO CALM DOWN, BUT I HOPE WE GET SOME ANSWERS!!

[qveerthe0ry]

Lions Ain't the Kind - Part One

Summary: Frankie hasn't dated in years, but now he knows what he's looking for. He's just not so good at asking for what he wants, and you're willing to help him work on it. Word Count: 8,156 Pairing: Frankie Morales x NB/Gender-fluid! AFAB! Reader Rating: 18+ Explicit Warnings: 18+ mdni, subby!Frankie, soft dom! reader, talks about gender non-conformity, sickening fluff, Frankie is way too cute and sweet for his own good, kissing, making out, handjob (m receiving), anal fingering (m receiving), dirty talk, Frankie has a praise kink, no use of y/n, no physical descriptions of reader Beta: @perotovar (my angel ilysm) A/N: Sorry for talking about this for a month straight without posting it lol! The title is from the song (Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear by Elvis Presley which I admittedly haven't listened to but I saw the lyrics and knew immediately it was my Frankie. I hope you enjoy, and I'm always open to criticism and thoughts and thots!

Frankie hasn’t dated in years. He hasn’t really had the time, between his first child being born and navigating co-parenting with his ex, along with healing some very deep trauma and getting and staying clean. 

It just hasn’t been on his mind, if he’s honest. He’s been busy finding himself, as Pope calls it. And he’s not wrong. It’s taken a long while for him to be comfortable in his own skin, to come to terms with the things he’s done and the baggage he can now store in an overhead bin, rather than carry it around with him at all times. 

But now, he’s ready. He knows himself, and as a result, he knows what he’s looking for.

Someone kind-hearted and down to earth. Someone who’s independent and established, but not just looking for a hookup. Someone with a sweet smile and a desire for enjoying the little things in life. 

Someone like you. 

He’d swiped right and left dozens of times on men and women alike, but as soon as he saw your profile on whatever dating app he’d downloaded, he was hooked.

You were gorgeous. He felt the heat from your smile through his phone screen, so happy and genuine and sweet.

You were funny, the answers to those weird icebreaker questions full of witty remarks.

You were smart, clearly, from your shoutout to your alma matter and the ‘boring’ job you mentioned in your profile.

He honestly figured he had no chance at all. His face is only getting more wrinkly, and his hair more gray, and he’s never been the sharpest or funniest guy in the room. 

So when he swiped left and you matched, he was stunned. He was even more shocked when you messaged him before he could even think of what to say to you. 

Hi cutie 🥰 

Despite the fact that he was home alone on his couch, he had the sudden urge to look behind him, as if you’d be talking to someone else. The back of his neck got so warm, and your boldness only made him more into you. 

So he messaged you back

Hi :) how are you?

I’m surprised we matched, honestly. Pleasantly surprised 😊

Same here :) Why the surprise though? I’m sure you match with everyone

Not at all, it’s hard to find people whose type I am on here. I usually use the queer dating apps but I opened this one out of boredom. What are the chances?

What are the chances, indeed, Frankie thinks, as he gives your profile another look over. Frankie doesn’t understand how you aren’t everyone’s type. He feels a little bit like he’s talking to a celebrity, looking at your pictures and just a snippet of who you are on this reductive dating app. 

I like the odds :)

——

As your conversation continues normally over the next few days, Frankie learns a lot about you. He also learns a lot about himself. 

It’s been so long since he’s played the field, so to speak, that he’s rusty as all hell and a bit awkward. He’s afraid to flirt too much, every message deleted and re-written at the risk of sounding too cheesy or too forward or too much. 

You aren’t afraid to flirt. You send ‘good morning, handsome’ and ‘sweet dreams, pretty boy’ texts every day and night. You tell him your day would be better if you could cuddle someone, you tell him when you’re taking a relaxing bath that you wished he were there to join you. 

And to say that Frankie likes it is a massive fucking understatement. 

He adores it, he thinks about you constantly, all day long while he works without access to his phone, all evening long while he waits on your replies, all night long, when you’ve bid each other goodnight out of nothing but courtesy for each other’s sleep schedules.

You lead him along like a timid puppy on a leash, showing him new things with patience and care and it drives him insane. He wants to meet up with you so bad, or even just call you on the phone to hear your voice. He thinks about it, late at night, if it’s higher or lower in register, if it’s smooth or raspy. He wants to learn everything about you. 

That being said, he’s not sure if he’s ever met someone who’s ‘non-binary/gender-fluid’ before. He doesn’t get out much, he hardly talks to anyone who he hasn’t known for years. 

So he googles. It doesn’t really help. He understands what it means, but he doesn’t know what it means to you. He wants to ask you a million questions, but is afraid to bring up even one, and ruin the moment, or sound like an idiot. 

You’re so kind though. So he bites the bullet. 

Can I ask you a question?

Your response comes almost immediately, now that it’s evening time, both finished with dinner— his takeout vs. your leftover spaghetti. 

Of course, pretty boy ❤️

He still flushes deep when you call him that, heat spreading all throughout his face and neck and chest. 

How did you know you were non-binary/ gender-fluid? 

He frets over the text a bunch before he sends it, making sure he worded it the same way you did in your profile. His heart pounds as he waits for your response. 

I’ve always just kind of known I didn’t feel like a man or a woman. I used to think everyone felt somewhere in between, and it was just normal to not feel like I checked either box, but then I realized no one else around me felt the way I did. And then I learned all the terms and whatnot, later on, and knew that’s what I am. Just kinda in between, neither and both, sometimes one and sometimes the other. If that makes sense?

His smile splits his cheeks as he reads your in-depth response, eating up every bit of information you’re willing to give him. 

That makes perfect sense to me. Thank you for sharing :) 

It doesn’t scare you off?

Frankie scoffs, as if anything about you could scare him off. At this point, you could show up on his doorstep with a dead body in a bag, and he’d throw it in his trunk, dispose of it, and then ask if he could maybe kiss you.

Not at all. Nothing about you scares me :)

——

It’s a few more days before Frankie works up the courage to ask for your phone number. You tell him you were wondering when he was going to finally ask for it. It makes him itchy to think about you waiting for him to ask, making him be the one to do it. In a good way. In a way that kind of makes him stiffen up in his briefs if he thinks about it for too long.

But now, as he settles in from a long day at work, his grin splits his face from ear to ear as he reads your text.

Can I take you out tomorrow night?

He likes it… a lot. He feels so fucking new to all this, like a fumbling newborn calf taking its first steps, and how forward you are eases him so thoroughly.

I’d love that :)

Meet me here at 5 for dinner. Casual dress, but I’m sure you’ll be handsome in anything 😘

It’s the longest 22 hours of his life, and it’s the shortest, all at the same time. Texting you, making funny jokes like his bones aren’t about to creep right out from under his skin with all the nerves buzzing his body. Thinking about you, dreaming about you, one right after the other. When he wakes in the morning it’s like he didn’t get a wink of sleep, his anxiety drumming up a million different scenarios of how it could go right and wrong. 

Calling Santi mid-morning on a Saturday when he knows he’s spending time with his family, because if he doesn’t talk to someone about this he may just float off into the ether. 

“I’m so fucking nervous, Pope, what do I do? How do I act? Can you just stake out at the bar and feed me lines through an earpiece?”

“Pendejo, fucking— grow a pair man. You’re cute and funny, you’ve got this.”

Reading your texts with pupils shaped like hearts:

I can’t wait to see you tonight, cutie ❤️

and 

I finally settled on an outfit

and

Is it weird that I’m not even nervous? I’m just excited to finally meet you

It is weird, Frankie thinks, but doesn’t dare tell you. It’s weird how he can’t even eat the plain toast he made for lunch without feeling bile rise in the back of his throat, and you’re just excited. It’s weird how he’s never, ever felt so gone over someone, and you haven’t even met yet. 

It’s not weird, it’s sweet :) I’m excited too <3

It’s not a lie, but he’s omitting the truth a bit. He’s excited but he’s nervous, picking meticulously through his closet to find something casual but not too casual, something he likes the look of himself in, something he thinks you’ll like the look of. 

It only gets worse as he stares at google maps. The restaurant is 2.6 miles away, 11 minutes from his house. It’s 4:30, and he wants to leave already, but thinks maybe it’s better to deal with the anxiety in the comfort of his home rather than the parking lot, in case you’re there early too, and you can see how much of a fucking wreck he is. 

He watches the minutes tick up in the corner of his phone screen. At 4:36, he gets up, fusses in the mirror one last time, and leaves. 

When he parks in the lot in front of the bar & grill, you’ve already texted him. 

I’m here a little early, got all green lights. Saved us a table near the back. See you soon!

It’s 4:52. 

He takes a deep breath through his nose, closes his eyes as he lets it out gently, counting just like his therapist taught him. And again. And one more time, and finally that anxious tingling in his fingertips is muted a bit and his heart rate is only slightly above normal. 

4:54.

He pulls the key from the ignition, gets out of the car, and makes his way to the door. 

He finds you instantly. 

You’re looking at him, and you’re smiling, and getting up from your chair as he approaches you. He barely even hears you greet him with all his blood rushing in his ears. 

“Hi, Frankie,” you say, and your arms stretch out to invite him in for a hug. 

He melts into your arms, his strained “hi” muffled in the crook of your neck. You squeeze him tight to you, and he hears you chuckle next to his ear. 

“Knew you’d be even cuter in person.”

He huffs out a laugh as you release him, and the tips of his ears burn. But you’re smiling so sweetly at him that it eases his nervous bones. 

“You look— can I call you handsome?” 

Fuck, he thinks, so fucking awkward. 

But your grin gets even wider. 

“Only if you mean it.” 

“I do,” he sighs, “like straight out of the cologne ads I’d rip out of my older sister’s magazines.”

He holds his breath as you react, the flutter of your eyelashes and the quivering of your lips and your laugh, bubbly and bright and soothing. 

And he isn’t lying, not even a little. You’re rugged but soft, romantic and alluring, and he can’t take his eyes off you.

Even as you take your seats across from each other, and the waiter comes to take your drink orders, and as your gorgeous eyes flit across the pages of the menu. He can’t stop looking, watching your mouth curve into a smile as you talk about your week and ask him about his. 

It’s pathetic, really, when the waiter asks if you’re ready to order, and you ask if he knows what he wants, because he hasn’t taken a single glance at the menu himself. He just hopes to god the dim lighting of the bar hides his flushed face and tells you to order first while he skims the menu. 

He ends up ordering exactly what you got, and floundering when your hand finds his on the tabletop. He watches your fingers trace his own from his nails to his knuckles, and flips his palm up for you to rest your hand in his. 

“I’m glad you came out with me tonight,” you tell him. 

His eyes flicker up from your joined hands to your smiling face, and his nerves completely melt away from the heat of your gaze. 

“Thank you for asking me,” he says.

“Would you have asked me, if I hadn’t asked you?”

He bites the inside of his cheek, and there’s a teasing glint in your eyes. 

“Eventually,” he nods, “I mean… probably.” 

Your eyebrows turn up in question, and he realizes how that sounds, jumping to backtrack. 

“Not like that! I just mean— You know… You’re uh… well, I feel like you’re way out of my league. And so maybe I’m a little… intimidated.”

You smile, then, and sigh, and squeeze his hand as you call him a sweet boy. It makes the room feel like it’s a hundred degrees warmer, like Frankie’s clothes are suddenly two sizes too small. 

“You aren’t so good at asking for what you want, are you?” 

He laughs then, and shakes his head. 

“Not really, no.”

“We’ll have to work on that, then.”

He clears his throat, and tugs at his collar with his free hand, breaking his gaze away from your face as you chuckle. He looks to find a waiter, or maybe an HVAC guy that could crank the AC to sub-zero temps for the remainder of the date. 

No luck. 

The rest of the date goes well. Surprisingly well. Frankie was worried that he’d be so out of practice that he’d freeze up, or say something stupid, or do something stupid, like knock over a drink or get food stuck in his teeth. 

But you’re just so easy to talk to, to click with. Of course, you’re the one who facilitates the conversation, asking him about his favorites— movies, TV shows, music, time of year. 

But he likes to think that he keeps the ball rolling well enough, is aware enough to remember to ask for some of your favorites— holiday, food, cocktails. 

By the time the check comes, he hardly realizes you’ve both had empty plates in front of you for a while, talking and laughing through your meals like you’re just catching up with an old friend. 

He protests when you grab the check, because of course he does. You’ve given him this incredible night, your comfortable company, your sweet smiles, and he feels like his offerings pale in comparison. 

“I asked you out, Francisco,” you tease him, having just learned his full name a mere 20 minutes ago. 

And he can’t really protest anymore, what with the shiver that’s tingling his spine and the goosebumps he tries to hide by gripping the chair underneath him. So he lets you pay, and thanks the waiter, and feels a rush of sadness when they come back with the check to sign. He really doesn’t want this evening to end. 

The apprehension falls second to the sensation of your hand on the small of his back, leading him out to the parking lot. 

“Where’s your car? I’ll walk you there,” you say, your thumb pressing a soothing circle into the base of his spine. 

So he walks to his truck, a little self-conscious about the out-of-dateness of it, and how he didn’t think to run it through a car wash before this. But mostly he’s just nervous about ending this date on a good note. 

“This is me,” he says, barely above a whisper, stopping at his driver’s side door. 

You smile at him when he turns to you. 

“Thanks again for coming out with me. I really did have a great time.”

This makes him smile through the unease, even as your hand drops from the small of his back. 

“I did too. Would you uh… wanna hang out again soon?”

Your face lights up, and Frankie wants to capture it in a bottle and take it home with him. Keep it at his bedside to use as a nightlight.

“Are you asking me on a date?” 

He chuckles and looks down to his feet like maybe it’ll redirect the flush in his face. You grab his hand, hanging by his side, and luckily you don’t make him speak again because he doesn’t know if he’s even able. 

“I’d love to. Really.” 

He smiles when he looks back up at you, only briefly, because you drop his hand and take a half step back. 

“Call me about it.”

“Wait!”

Your brow arches at him, because you weren’t really going anywhere, but Frankie’s mind is running a thousand miles a second. He thinks back to all the times you’ve goaded him into asking for what he wants, so far, and how it hasn’t bit him in the rear yet. 

“Can we— I… Can I kiss you goodnight?”

Your smile softens, and you take that little half-step back closer to him, and he feels all the tension leak from his shoulders. 

“Yes, you can. Thank you for asking.”

He huffs, and smiles at you, and you’re reaching out to cup his jaw and grab his hip, and Frankie closes his eyes far too early, but it’s okay, because he feels your body heat and then your lips. 

He can’t hold back the hum that rumbles from deep in his chest, or the way that he goes a little boneless in your grasp. He finds your forearm and squeezes it, and your bicep too, anything to ground himself as your lips part and your tongue teases the seam of his lips. 

But then you’re pulling back, and it’s over far too quickly, and Frankie is also acutely aware of how tight his jeans feel. His face feels like it could melt right off of his skull. 

“Call me soon, Pretty Boy.”

He nods, speechless, and watches you disappear between the cars of the parking lot. On his way home, he’s already fretting over whether or not he should text you tonight, and what kind of date he should plan, and if his breath was okay when you let him kiss you. 

——

Frankie is perfect. 

You’re still not sure how you found this diamond in the rough that is Tinder. You thank every god you know the name of that you got bored and opened the app on auto-pilot that night. 

First of all, he’s so cute. He’s handsome in such a boyish way, with his dimples and unruly curls and patchy beard. 

But he’s also so kind, the way he talks to you like it’s a privilege, the way he asks careful and curious questions about you like he truly wants to know the parts of you that are deeper than what’s on the surface. 

Every simple text from him makes you smile, the way he always tries to make you laugh or cheer you up when you’re overwhelmed with the demands of life, as you often are.

And meeting him in person solidified everything you thought about him.

He seems like the textbook definition of a golden retriever boyfriend, if you ever get to call him that much. You hope you do.

In fact, it seems like it’s moving quite quickly in that direction when Frankie asks if you’d be down for a movie night. Some blockbuster he missed in theaters is finally streaming, and he thinks you’ll like it. 

You don’t tell him that you didn’t miss it in theaters, or that you thought it was just okay. 

You do tell him you’d be down to watch it, only if he came to your place, where the walls are thin and your surrounding neighbors all know you and watch out for you. Just in case he’s really good at acting  like a sweet, safe guy. 

You find yourself giddy as the weekend approaches, daydreaming at work about how the night will turn out. You tell him to come in comfy clothes, because you’ll be damned if you wear jeans in your own home, even for this sweet man. He doesn’t seem to mind one bit, that’s my favorite kind of outfit :) is his cute response. 

You get everything ready the day of; your coziest blankets hang off the arms of your sofa, your fridge is stocked with fresh fruits and your pantry with candy and microwave popcorn and chips (I’ll eat whatever you get :) his answer to your questioning of his favorite movie snacks, of course.)

And then you sit around and wait, excited nerves coaxing your body to straighten things up that have been straightened up a million times already. When Frankie texts you his ETA, you park yourself on the couch by the door and stare at it until there’s a knock on it. 

You may count to ten before you get up to open it, just to hide how eager you’ve been to see him again. 

Your throat does get a little dry when you answer it to find him in a dark blue t-shirt that hugs his arms and light gray joggers that hug… Other things. 

“Hi handsome,” you smile, pushing down all the nerves and the less-than-PG thoughts. 

“Hi. I um… I brought these. I noticed you ordered them on our uh– well, at the restaurant, and I didn’t want to show up empty handed.” 

You watch a flush break out on his face, and his neck, and wonder how far under his collar it actually spreads. 

He’s holding up a six pack of your favorite beers, and he’s smiling so shyly, and you have to crowd in closer to him to press a kiss to his heated cheek. 

“That’s so thoughtful, thank you.” 

He giggles— giggles, Jesus Christ— and you take them from his hand to let him come through the door. 

You set the beers in your fridge to let them chill as he kicks off his shoes. You watch him from the kitchen as he takes in your place with his pretty brown eyes. 

“It’s really cozy in here,” he tells you as he fiddles with his own hands. 

“Snuggle up, get comfy, I’ll bring us some snacks.”

He nods, so obedient, and hovers by the couch before settling on the seat in the middle. 

Sly move, you think, and you can’t hide your stupid grin as you gather some snacks. 

When you turn off all but one lamp and deposit the junk food on the coffee table, you notice he’s inched himself closer to the arm of the couch, like he was second-guessing himself. That just won’t do, you think, as you settle in right next to him, so close that the length of your body is pressed against his. 

He doesn’t look at you, just stares at the Roku City scrolling across your flat screen. For a second you think he might be uncomfortable, but the way his breathing is uneven clues you in on his nerves. 

You reach over him to grab the blanket in the arm of the couch, and you feel his muscles tense up when you press against him. 

“Frankie?” 

“Huh? Sorry, yeah?” 

“Are you okay?” 

He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head and sighs, heavy and long, before looking at you.

“I’m so nervous.”

He smiles in spite of it, lopsided, dimples so cute that your lips quiver with the urge to kiss them. 

You smile back, and drape the blanket over both of you, patting his leg through it. 

“Nothing to be nervous about, Francisco.”

It gets a laugh out of him, a huff through his nose, and his shoulders lower the tiniest bit. You slowly reach up to cradle his jaw in your palm, careful not to spook this little baby deer of a man, but his face leans into your touch. 

“If it helps, I think it’s really sweet that you’re nervous.” 

“Thank you… I think?”

You laugh at him, and watch as your reaction makes his eyes brighten. You want to kiss him. You want to smooch the absolute daylights out of him, but there’s still 3 hours of a pretentious movie to watch, and there will be plenty of time, if he’s amenable. 

So you just pinch his cheek before you let go, and try not to look so smug at the heat that consumes his face as you get the movie up and running. 

Fifteen or so minutes into the film, Frankie has relaxed into the couch, though he’s stock-still beside you with his arms glued to his own sides. You just want to cuddle, at least. You’ve been thinking about it for weeks— getting his warm, solid but soft body against your own. 

You’re certain he won’t be the one to initiate it, but that’s all fine and dandy. You rearrange yourself a bit, and sling an arm over his shoulders. He looks away from the movie towards you, and you give him a smile that must be comforting. 

He sinks lower on the couch, and leans against you, his messy curls pressed against your shoulder while his arm drapes over your lap. You think you hear his satisfied hum under the dialogue of the characters, and you let your head rest against his. 

This is nice. Frankie’s so warm against you, the most comforting weight all lax against your side. Your hand creeps up from his shoulder to his head, and his hair is so silky when you finally work up the gall to run your fingers through it.

You can feel the way it affects him when he shivers and presses even closer into you. You watch the movie like that for a while, snacks untouched, fingertips stroking his scalp as his soft curls slip through your digits. Every once in a while his head tilts to look up at you, piercing brown, and each time you smile back down and ruffle his hair.

It’s just after the first big conflict of the film when you feel Frankie shift against you. His arm moves in your lap, and you watch his thick fingers grab your thigh over the blanket. 

It shocks you how such a simple gesture makes your temperature rise. You hum and let your nails scratch more firmly against his head. You can hear him gasp, and feel him move impossibly closer, like he’s trying to fuse the two of you together. You glance down at him, past the curls you’ve lost yourself in, and his eyes are closed. Further, the curve of his nose and pout of his lips, his chest that’s heaving with his excited breaths, you notice a suspicious tent in the blanket, and you don’t want to assume, but the context clues are all there. 

Frankie is hard. 

You can’t blame him. You’ve been aroused since you pressed his body against yours, a slow simmering underneath the surface that’s made you feel so comfortably warm and relaxed. 

You shift, and you swear you hear a barely-there whine leave his lips. You move just enough so you can press your free hand to his chest. Under your palm, you can feel his heart beating, a pace that’s concerningly higher than appropriate for sitting and watching dialogue in a movie. 

His head turns toward you, his hair slipping through the grasp of your knuckles. He looks up at you with those puppy eyes and his pupils are so dilated that it makes you take a deep breath. He turns his body  toward you next and there it is the hard line of his cock pressed against the outside of your thigh. You see him shudder at the friction, watch his eyes grow droopy as they flicker down to glance at your lips. 

“Can I kiss you again?” 

And he asks so sweetly, voice a little hoarse from the silence, that you couldn’t dream of denying him. 

“Yes, Frankie.”

His lips tremble until they meet yours, so soft and chaste, a stark contrast to his scruffy beard and mustache. His breath hitches; you can hear it and feel it. His chest shudders under your palm and pushes air out to gust against your cheeks. You feel his prick, too, twitching against your thigh as your tongue peeks out to tease his pouty bottom lip. 

He pulls back so much quicker than you want him to, but it’s also such a reward to look at him this close. His lips shiny, his cheeks flushed, his irises completely usurped by his pupils. His mouth hangs open and you can’t help yourself as you slide your hand from his chest to his jaw and pull him into you once again. 

A surprised little noise works its way out of his throat, and his hips jerk forward, and then he’s groaning as his cock throbs against the outside of your thigh. The noise makes that feeling in your gut draw deeper, lower, and you make one of your own in response. 

His hand rests dutifully still on your thigh, but you can feel his fingers twitching as your taste buds rub against his– a friction that has no right to be as delicious as it is. You want him to feel you up, to touch you all over, to give in to the desire that’s blatantly pressed against you. You want to hear these noises he seems to be holding back, the whimpers that just barely make it past his vocal chords before he cuts them off. 

You pull away this time. Pride swells in your chest as you look at what you’ve already done to him. His curls are even messier now that you’ve run your fingers through them over and over. His eyes are all glassy when he looks at you, pouty lips slick and red. 

He sits so still, aside from his heaving breaths, like he’s waiting for your command. 

“Tell me what you want, Frankie.”

His eyes widen and christ, if they get any wider they’re going to suck you in like a supermassive black hole. 

“I– I’m okay, I like this.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. He nods, trying to convince you, as he not-so-subtly pulls his erection free from its trap between his body and your thigh. His eyes cast downward, but you swiftly grab his chin in your hands to bring them back to you. 

“Francisco,” you mumble, “ask for what you want.”

He gasps and bites his plush bottom lip, hard enough that there’s little indents when he opens his mouth. He shuts it again, and squirms against you, and finally opens it once more. 

“I want you to touch me.” 

His request comes out hardly above a whisper, all broken and breathy, and his gaze settles somewhere behind you. 

“Is that all?”

He nods quickly, eyes snapping back to you. 

“I swear– I just wanna feel your hands on me.” 

Your smile widens as his face gets so serious, eyebrows knitting together. 

“That’s good, that’s really good,” you mumble. 

The shudder that visibly rolls through him is like a shockwave, sending every one of your nerve endings on-edge. You huff, an amazed little breath at this fucking guy in front of you, so responsive and timid and utterly fuckable. 

“You like that? Like being good for me?”

He nods again, more apprehensive this time, but he can’t hold back his whine when his hips press against you. The possibilities of all the things you could do to this man stretch far and wide; it’s entirely overwhelming. 

“Sweet boy,” you whisper, because he is, “c’mere.”

You pull the blanket off of you both, and Frankie reaches down to adjust himself so it isn’t so obvious, like you haven’t felt his cock twitching against you this entire time. It’s so endearing you think you could cry, but you’re much too turned on for sentiment at the moment. Instead, you guide him to straddle you, hands on his slender hips until his thighs cage your own. 

For a moment you just watch as he sits patiently, obediently, waiting for your next words like his cock isn’t leaking a pretty little damp patch into his sweatpants. His chest heaves with every breath, and his tongue licks and bites at his swollen lips, and his eyes stay trained on your mouth in anticipation. 

“So pretty,” you whisper. 

His long eyelashes flutter at your compliment, and he turns his head to try and hide his reaction, but it doesn’t mask the way his prick twitches under gray fabric. Your hands find his waistband and tease the edge and you delight in the way he shivers. 

You need to feel more, so you press your hands under his shirt and hum at what you find. A soft tummy and smooth skin that makes way for a small trail of wiry hairs. It’s all revealed to you a moment later when you hike his shirt higher, reach for pecs that are more solid than you imagined, and the smallest nipples you think you’ve ever had your hands on. 

You look back up to his face for permission with a quirked brow, and he nods eagerly, grabbing the back of his collar to shed the material and bare himself and it’s so lovely. There’s so much tan skin, hardly any of it is obstructed by hair, just the errant freckle here or there. And you can’t help it, you have to lean forward and take one of his nipples into your mouth. 

He gasps your name, but one of his hands finds the back of your head to keep you in place. You hum around the little nub, so small you have trouble getting your teeth to bite down on it, but you do and then he groans, his hips jerking in your hold on them. 

“Is this how you wanted me to touch you?”

You lean your head back to look him in the eyes, to watch a pained expression flit over his face as he tries to come up with an answer he thinks you’ll like. 

“I like this too,” he nods, “but I, um… fuck–”

He cuts himself off to hide his face in his hands. He is so cute and so sexy at the same time, it’s making your brain go haywire. 

“Tell me, Frankie. Be good for me, Pretty Boy.” 

He shifts on top of you as he looks up at your ceiling. You soothe your hands up and down his flanks and wait patiently for him to find the words. 

He drops his hand from his face, fists clenching down by his sides, but he finally looks down at you and smiles, shy and sweet, just a hint of that dimple you adore rearing its head.

“Touch my cock? You got me so hard.”

You smile bright at his request, and nod, and press a kiss to his sternum. 

“Anything you want,” you mumble, “just gotta ask. Just like that.”

He looks pretty proud of himself. There’s a twinkle in his eyes as you look up at him, and you take a playful bite of his skin and savor the gasp it coaxes out of him. 

“Let’s get these off, yeah?” 

Your fingers sneak under his waistband and his skin is so hot under there, searing. You only have a few moments to bask in the warmth before he stands up to remove his pants and briefs in one bashful move. 

Jesus. 

He’s so gorgeous, bare for you, vulnerable, excited. His foreskin is all pulled back, revealing a delicious looking string of pre-cum from his slit. You desperately want to lean forward and taste— but he didn’t ask for that, and you won’t give it to him unless he does. 

Stunned a bit silent, you pat your lap, urging him to settle back over it. Much to your delight, he does, quick and obedient. An approving hum bubbles up out of your chest, and he preens as he sits on your thighs. 

There’s a very wicked feeling in you as you stare at him, completely naked, while you haven’t shed a single layer of clothing. Control, and trust, and power. It’s overwhelming in a way that makes your lungs feel too inflated for your rib cage, to know you could take advantage of it, and to know you never ever would. 

“Good boy,” you whisper, finally, testing those waters. 

Frankie’s dick twitches between you two, and you huff and smile and wonder how something so perfect and precious has literally landed right in your lap. 

He’s been more than good, and so with one hand you grab his hip to steady him, and the other takes his cock as gentle as ever. A sharp inhale inflates his chest as you stroke the smooth skin, a teasing, feather-light touch that makes his legs tense up in your lap. You watch him disappear and reappear through the loose circle of your hand, watch another clear droplet bead from his slit when you squeeze him tighter. 

“Does this feel good?”

He’s watching your hand work when you look back up to his face. He nods, a jerky movement that seems to shake his entire body, and he’s so on-edge. You feel it in the way he shifts his weight on top of you. 

“Words, Frankie,” you urge, a soft smile on your face. 

“So good.”

You hum, taking in the way his eyes flutter open and closed, the way his adam’s apple pokes out when he leans his head back. 

You reward him by speeding up your strokes. You squeeze his hip with your free hand, kneading at the soft flesh there, while you lean forward to press kisses into his virtually hairless chest. His skin is so hot it feels like it could burn you, flushed such a pretty color, just like you knew it would be. 

He whines when you gather up more pre cum with your thumb and gently massage it into his frenulum. You look up to find him staring down at you with glassy eyes, bottom lip tucked tight between his teeth. 

“Can we kiss more?”

His voice is breathy, and you nod, and a fresh wave of arousal flushed through your system when his lips eagerly meet yours. 

It’s sloppier, this time. Noisier, too, as you tighten your grip on his cock and begin to properly work your hand up and down his length. You steal his breath and his noises straight from his lungs, feel every shudder he pushes out when you twist your wrist just right or squeeze tighter. 

His hips start to meet your thrusts, rutting into your hand, such a desperate little thing on top of you, all for you. You want to encourage him to take his pleasure from you, and so you slip your hand back from his waist, find the perfectly pert globe of his ass with your palm. 

“Haa— shit.”

His words muffle into your kiss as his hips stutter in rhythm and you lean forward to smirk into the bald patch of his beard. 

“Yeah?” 

A gasp wrecks through his heaving chest as he nods. 

“Please, fuck— please.”

You hum into his jaw and squeeze his cock and his ass respectively. 

“Please what, Pretty Boy?” 

He leans back. You watch him squeeze his eyes shut and shake his head from left to right. 

“Tell me what you want, Frankie. Know you can.” 

A big gulp of air, and then he opens his eyes to look at you, then blinks them shut again as his head lolls back in his shoulders. 

“Touch me there. I— I can’t—”

“Shhh,” you take mercy on him, bringing your hand up from his backside to cradle his jaw in your palm. He tilts his head into your touch and opens his eyes.

“I got you, sweet boy,” you remind him. 

He nods in understanding, shifting to kiss the heel of your palm. You let him rest his lips there as he catches his breath, feel them quivering every other upstroke of your hand on his prick. 

But as he makes to move, you hold his jaw steady in your hand. His eyes flicker back to your face, and you wonder if you look as wrecked as you feel, if he can tell how beside yourself you really are. 

Slowly, so he can pull away if he wants, you trace the pad of your middle finger along the seam of his lips. You’re awestruck at how they instantly fall open for you, greedy, something you’re definitely looking forward to exploring more later. 

For now, you watch with hooded eyes as he takes it into his mouth, tongue curling and lapping at it. You briefly wonder if fingers are erogenous zones, beyond turned on at how warm and wet the inside of his mouth feels, how he suckles and releases, bobs his head over and over until you snap out of it. 

“Good boy. Fucking perfect,” you sigh.

He gets a cocky little goofy grin on his face at the praise, but his prick twitches against your grasp. You squeeze it for good measure, and more of his pre-cum dribbles over your knuckles. 

You lean into him again, and he leans into you, holding each other up. Your mouth finds his pebbled nipple once again as his prick drags across your shirt and saturates it. He hisses at the friction, then gasps when your hand grabs his ass cheek again. 

You pull it as best as you can with one hand. It isn’t too difficult with how it fits so perfectly round in your palm. You squeeze it, massage it, note how the littlest hint of peach fuzz feels against your clammy hand. You wonder how it would feel under your tongue, too, how it would taste, how the fatty flesh would feel between your teeth. 

His hips stutter forward when your finger, slick with his saliva, strokes the very top of his crack. And you don’t mean to tease too much, but his jerky movements and satisfied sounds when you do are like music to your ears. 

Finally you find his hole, fluttering around nothing, so little and tight, all for you. 

“Ohmygod.”

Frankie sounds pained, so much so that you look up from nuzzling his chest to watch his face. His brows are drawn tight with how his eyes are squeezed shut, and his mouth is hung open, slick with a little drool around the corners of his lips. Without context, maybe he would look pained, too, but the way his cock throbs and dribbles in your hand paints a completely different picture. 

And what a pretty picture he is, gulping for air above you, thrusting his hips back into your finger and forward through your fist, like he’s so out of his mind that he can’t even make it up. 

You apply more pressure to his impossibly tight pucker and sink your teeth into his skin at the way he whines for you. You do it again, and again, a patient little rhythm until it relaxes and the very tip of your finger slips into his warmth. 

He groans, clenching tight around you. 

“Okay, Frankie?”

He laughs, a little puff of air, and you feel it where you’re inside him. 

“Gonna make me come,” he chokes.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, don’t— fuck— please don’t stop.”

You hum into his chest, squeeze your hand tighter around his prick as you speed up your strokes. He’s groaning now, deep and low and constant, like he couldn’t hold it back if he tried. 

You wiggle your finger against his rim, tugging him open for you, toying with the elastic muscle. He’s so pliable everywhere, opening up to you, happily taking what you give him. 

In a stiff moment you think he isn’t into it, because he freezes up and goes silent. You make to slip out of him, but his warmth just drags you in.

And then his cock jumps in your grasp, and his hole clamps around your finger as he gasps your name, and he’s coming. 

He shakes with it as he soaks your shirt and drips over your hand. You stroke him through it and marvel at the way he feels in your grasp and around you, violent waves of pleasure that you can sense where you touch him. 

You look up to watch him tremble through it and he’s gorgeous. Sweat drips from his messy curls at his temple and paints a glimmer down his neck, all pulled taught as his head hangs back. His chest tastes salty under your tongue where it heaves, you can’t get enough of the flavor, or the wicked beating of his heart under your lips. 

And his noises, fucking delicious, wrung-out curses that just keep tumbling from his red lips. His stomach trembles with his shaky breaths, and he sounds so wrecked as the last bit of his orgasm tricked down the back of your hand. 

His whispered chants of “fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” slow to a stop just as his joints unlock and his muscles relax. You take it as a sign to loosen your grip on his spent cock and carefully slip your finger back out of him. It earns you one last whimper before he sags into you, a boneless little heap in your lap. 

You unhand him to hold him against you, wipe your hand on the discarded blanket beside you so you can stroke his back with one hand and his fuzzy little buttcheek with the other. 

You tell him how good he was for you, how pretty he is when he comes, how much you loved getting to do that to him. 

It takes a while for him to catch his breath, and his huffs tickle that sensitive spot on your neck just below your ear. 

“Holy shit,” he sighs. 

You nod, because he’s correct. Holy shit, indeed. 

His voice is a little hoarse, and you’re conflicted. You want to hold him as long as he’ll let you, but you know you should get him some water and at least a towel. 

You shift under him and he whimpers, wraps his arms tighter around your shoulders.

There goes that idea. 

You hold him closer, and smirk at the contented sigh that leaves him. 

“I think… I think I just imprinted on you.” 

It startles a laugh out of you, and he chuckles too, a tiny happy sound against your collar bone. You turn to kiss his heated cheek, and he lets you, before he turns his own head to fuse his lips to yours. 

This kiss is lazy, unhurried, and the adrenaline from making him fall apart is slowly making way for more of that sticky-sweet arousal from earlier. 

“I wanna make you come,” he mumbles against your lips. 

You shake your head, but kiss him some more, as to not give him the wrong idea. 

“Another night, Pretty Boy.”

He makes a disappointed sound, but continues to kiss you until you have to part for air. His brow is turned upward in question when you pull away. 

“Did I do something wrong?”

You’re shaking your head before he even finishes his question. 

“Not a single thing, Frankie. Just wanted to take care of you tonight.” 

His shoulders relax at that, but his face is still confused. It’s a cute look on him, with his pouty lips and big brown eyes. 

“You’d tell me right? If I made you uncomfortable? You can tell me. I don’t wanna upset you.” 

And christ, you feel your heart melting and oozing through your rib cage at how earnest his voice is. 

“I promise, I’ll tell you.”

That seems to quell his nerves, as he sinks back into you again with his sweaty curls pressed against your shoulder. 

You’re sticky in more ways than one, and Frankie’s only getting heavier in your lap the sleepier he gets, but a giggle bubbles up out of you when you realize you’ve never been more comfortable than you are right now. 

Frankie huffs in response, and you press him even tighter against you. 

You don’t know where one-and-a-half dates and one sickeningly hot orgasm places the two of you. And maybe it’s greedy to think about with a handsome, sweet man in your arms, but you can’t push down the overwhelming feeling of wanting more.

next part

[smileposting]

changes i noticed in the new GGG demo

compiled based on snapcube's vod and my own experimentation. this focuses more on changes in gameplay/overarching story than new character interactions facilitated by new dialogue, so keep that in mind. full list under the cut!

click clack is now the god of storytelling as opposed to the god of teamwork, at least according to bibo.

razzma v. tazz is either razzma's full name or her pen name (based on the fact that he is also addressed as razzmatazz.)

bizzyboy in da ferris wheel....? not sure if this is new actually

rodney (the dog) is here.

skolopendra is now in the very first section of the grove you encounter as opposed to being on the south island.

bug's got new dialogue if you choose to just keep standing there after he gives you his questline. you're creepin' him out!

very ominous black rabbits found near king cutouts. you can interact with each of them exactly once. said interaction is just the camera zooming in and playing a vine boom adjacent sound.

you can interact with the cardboard cutout of mitternacht and knock it down, but you can't interact with the one of inspekta at all.... hm...

new usable dialogue from P: P here!

new usable dialogue from jacqueline: get ready for pets, cutie pie!

new usable dialogue from skolopendra: tiny weak little bug.

new usable dialogue from rodney: BARKBARKBARKBARK

al had his shaboingboings before the cutscene introducing all the bizzyboys plays, but in the actual cutscene he's still trying gobble down that beachball. either this is a glitch or the implication is that al had two whole plates of shaboingboings and was still hungry afterwards so he ate the ball, and will then proceed to have another two plates of shaboingboings.

capochin calls inspekta "spek"... cute....

new usable dialogue from capochin: GET TO WORK, YOU LAZY PUP!

inspekta's van is also explicitly referred to as a campaign van. interestin'...

inspekta himself is a Lot more noticeably passive aggressive in this version lmao

oh shit they changed the handwriting in king's letter to miss mitternacht.

THEY CHANGED THE LETTER TOO.

whoever wrote this letter has generational trauma swag there i said it. "back where i'm from people WORK for their praise they don't just have godhood HANDED to them" okaaaayyy next you're gonna say you're one of the good ones and embarrass tf out of your kids in the process

i think peeps has a talking sprite now? i think everyone got new sprites for specific actions/responses/emotions actually, gods included.

miss mitternacht being of human origin is called into question; according to sirena, some believe mitternacht was never even alive to begin with.

al does not have his second plate of shaboingboings because he frew up :( but hey at least P joins him on his snack break :)

the beach ball is now a usable item that you can return!

new particle effect on mitternacht's model to make it clear that she is Constantly Crying.

more spanglish in razzma's dialogue. lots of emphasis is placed on her near-photographic memory when it comes to king, and he uses it a lot to calm herself down when he gets too emotional.

oh hey rodney's on this island too.

2nd ominous bunny appears

new eating sfx in the rift psa

the P puppet is going to town on that sandwich (not sure if this is new either)

skolopendra talks about how razzma took king's apparent betrayal especially hard.

new usable dialogue from miss mitternacht: I MISS MY ELOQUENT KING!

jacqueline is PICKING BUG UP BY THE HEAD!!!

new usable dialogue from jacqueline: I AM GOING TO EAT YOU.

"and the next thing you know, you're loading a boat with two of every animal. you don't want that, do you?" MISS MITTERNACHT....?

funny inspekta animatronic; you can free up inventory by feeding dialogue to it.

EDIT 10/15/2024: new usable dialogue from marsha: DON'T WORRY, MISSY! INSPEKTA WILL SAVE THE DAY!

feel free to add other observations in the replies/reblogs if you find em! >;P

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - Everything is Awful or New or Both

Feb 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessmen t of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - It’s an ep 11 so we knew this was gonna be a downer. This was definitely a “date me date my friends” kind of situation. At this rate, GeminiFourth’s other characters in Chicken are going to kiss before TinnGun do. I love Tinn’s dad. Also, it looks like our a tiny little ship of crumbs is sailing. How cute is that!? Sunshine + sunshine! Bonza. 

Bed Friend (Sat YT & iQIYI uncut) 1 of 8 - Fuck buddies get messy, AKA Between Us the second cumming only this time in an office (and on a desk). I have been waiting for James to hold down (or be held down in) a BL for years! All hail the new kings of high heat. BUCKLE UP I GOT A LOT TO SAY. I like that there’s a dark underbelly (*snicker*) of trauma to this one, it has a slightly a Japanese feel which suits mature characters and an office setting. King’s yearning worried eyes are glorious. Poor thing, he totally adores this beautiful broken fragile boy and doesn’t know how to capture his attention. I admit Net was the one I worried about with this pair. James was always gonna be great. It turns out, I didn’t have to worry. This is an awesome show and I fucking love it. It nearly scooped the top spot. Frankly this is the Office BL I have been WAITING for Thailand to give us. 

NOTE: I watched both YT’s cut and iQIYI’s uncut version. (Anyone else feel odd using those terms under a high heat BL context?) I like YT’s better, mostly iQIYI’s interface is shit. Deets? There was a little extra from the “morning after regrets flashbacks” but not so much I think you’ll regret missing it. Unless you REALLY prefer high heat. The emotion of the sexual connection and Uea’s lonely submissive need was transmitted in both versions, but the iQIYI is slightly more MOAR. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 10 of 12 - Flashbacks to the cutest boyfriends ever and then PAIN. All I can think is “thank fuck this was handed to Pond & Phuwin.” One of the world’s saddest executions of the sniff test trope. Meanwhile, Perth is SO GOOD but I wish Chopper would record his conversations with his dad. Look, we all know Chopper is gonna take his dad’s bullet for Nuengdiao, right? Oh well, if you didn’t know, I just told you. 

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) 3-4 of 8 - The plot... erm... thickens. I told you Jim had a tragic backstory with an ex. And now it’s all gotten VERY messy. Sigh. Fourth & Gemini are cute, tho. 

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 4-5 of 6 - I do like King & Burger. The idea of giving your perspective boyfriend your CV is ADORBS. Auditioning for the part, as it were. I would like it known that my sexual identity is chili (AKA spicy) henceforth. (My pronouns are MaxTul & sometimes Phi.) Look, this is an absurd show. Last ep it was BDSM 101, this ep we got a lesson on how to use a condom properly? AND why the closet is both necessary and damaging? I mean I applaud their educational endeavors but BL: The After School Special? Did I sign up for Degrassi Junior BL while I wasn’t looking? 

Boyband (Thurs YT) 1 of 10 - BL drama about putting an idol boyband together. AKA how to make ABL suffer by combing favorite (celebrity romances, Kpop) and least favorite (bad singing) tropes. AND? I REALLY like it. It’s fun! What singing there is, is looped not live. So we in Cutie Pie territory. It’s easy to skip. The pairing is rich/poor and I like an other side of the tracks romance.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 10 (or 15&16 of 20) - Covid strikes. Boyfriends are worried. Omg they are so cute and hot and awkward. Tension in the office politics too. It’ll be okay, babies. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan) ep 1 of 6 - After getting dumped, Ritsu has an accident and gets amnesia. Ikuya, his ex, struggles to help him regain his memories while wondering about the state of their relationship. But Ritsu falls in love with Ikuya all over again. Engaging opening but I’m just not sure about the premise. 

It’s Airing But ... 

Chains of Heart (Sat Gaga) 1 of 10 - Not dropping for me until tomorrow so it’ll be in next week’s round up I hope. Suspense thriller about a forest ranger, smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Stars Haii (Cirrus in TT2) and Marc (My Gear & Your Gown in YYY). Adapted from a Y-novel of the same name by TJ Tommy.

My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I decided to wait and binge this one. 

Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, stars the actor who played Noh’s best friend Ohm in Love Sick 2. When his coffee shop closes, a man tries everything to save it and falls in love along the way. I had a hunt but can’t find it. 

Moments Of Love (Thai) Feb 14 Foremorfilm Production movie for cinema release. Was originally a series with Golf (609 Bedtime Story & The Eclipse) to direct, and SmartJames (LeonPhob from Don't Say No) to star. BUT is now something totally different. We’re all confused.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Engineering student Songkram is head of dorm 3, for "strong & athletic" students. Aye is head of dorm 2, for the "good looking" students. Aye used to be Songkram's tutor and friend, but they fell apart after becoming dorm heads. Aye is actually in love with Songkram but thinks Sonkram likes someone else. Songkram actually likes Aye. So, Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets that weird Japanese “girls-crossdressing-as-boys for love and infiltrating secret society of hotness” tradition.

Our Winter (Thai & Korea ?) - TutorYim vehicle supposedly airing now. Search me. 

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga) - DNFing this one. It’s way too high heat for them to end it happily and full of dark stuff like cheating, suicide, depression, abuse. I actively HATE one of the main characters and mildly dislike the other. Easier to just stop watching.  

Next Week Looks Like This:

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite thing to happen in BL this week. Possibly EVER.

Honestly, such a weird little After School Special. (All Hit Bite Love.) 

SAIL MY LITTLE CRUMBS! SAIL!!!! 

You TELL her, Paw. (All My School President) 

We stan the out boy. Own it, babycakes. (Moonlight Chicken.) 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Beautiful by BEAST, look, sometimes we gotta go back to our roots. Check out the legends for what they were, criticize my taste later. Fuck I miss those times when everyone had to sing live and the one with the hot mic had to stop dancing to catch his breath because, ya know, he still had to sing. 

ALL that said, you slackers should check out HELLO GLOOM - Dancing In The Dark. I alway said IMFACT was the most woke Kpop group, now they broken up(?) nice to see ‘em solo in queer fuck-off style. 

[milogreer]

SIGH. I JUST. listen. i’m gonna do what i do best on this blog and ramble. geordi and cutie’s arc is so good. it’s cute and sweet and fun and sexy and then it’s awful and anxiety-inducing and frustrating and a little scary. i love how messy their relationship is. the separation put a knot in my stomach to listen to because you can tell how much both of them are hurting and traumatized in their own ways.

and things sometimes have to get bad before they can get better. cutie can love geordi with everything they have and it still isn’t enough when they keep hurting him. their trauma and insecurities aren’t an excuse to repeatedly cross his boundaries. they think love is a bandaid when it isn’t. you can’t treat someone like that and think just because you love them however much that it’ll wave away the hurt. it wasn’t until geordi really put his foot down that cutie had to listen to what he was saying. they needed that wake up call, for someone they love and trust but who they’ve hurt so deeply to show them how they’re hurting him and to say “i want you to heal. i deserve happiness, and safety, and peace. and so do you. and right now you don’t have that, and that’s leading to a lot of hurt. i don’t want that for you. i love you.” to make them see that they can’t keep acting the way they have been because it isn’t going to fix anything. it’s just going to keep hurting everyone involved.

and getting to see them work on that, on bettering themselves for themselves, was just… man. that audio left me emotionally exhausted almost more than the initial separation. they kept in touch and they were comfortable enough to hug and geordi got them their usual drink order and it’s like. sometimes love does prevail past all the ugliness. and it’s not fixed overnight, they both still have their things to work through, geordi himself says he wasn’t blameless in sort of why cutie acted the way they often did, but it’s progress. and that matters. it’s proof that cutie recognized that they were in a bad place and that they wanted to be better, and that means a lot to geordi. and i love that this is an ongoing process, i love this in-between bit of them figuring themselves out and i hope we get more of it. it makes them feel realistic and flawed and just so fantastic to listen to.

anyway at the end of the day it always just comes down to love, you know? love for others, love for yourself. love driving you to be your best self and to want the same for the ones you care about. it comes down to “i love you. i loved you then and i love you now. you are worth work and effort. i want us both to heal from the things that have gotten us to this moment.” idk if any of this makes sense i just really care about them and i miss them constantly </3

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Okay I'm getting a little too obsessed with the werewolf au with Santino and John HEHEU UMM

Now is my turn to ask you about it >:]

How do you see them as werewolves? Do you think one would turn another or you have something else in mind? And their appearance, behavior, maybe possible side effects, how would they comfort each other? Anything really :3

Aahhh cuties 😭🐾

Thank you for this ask!!

SO I have a ton of lore about this because of John's character sheet from the roleplay. A lot of this will overlap with RP John! But I have lots of new ideas too. They really are adorable together!! 💖💖💖

John's background as a werewolf would be similar to what I've done in the roleplay. He was turned at a very young age and raised as a living weapon at the Tarkovsky Theater, which is a training ground specifically for werewolves. They are taught to control their abilities and use them in assassinations. They are a secret weapon of the High Table.

My werewolves are very monstrous. They draw their power from the darkness behind the moon - the legend goes that when the moon is covering up the darkness, night emanates from the werewolves instead of from the sky. So they have a black fog that flows off of their bodies and creates fear and other very negative emotions in anyone that it touches. They are full wolves, but much larger than a regular wolf, and with weirdly long limbs and creepy glowing eyes. They can stand on their back legs, but they usually run on all fours.

John is a jet black werewolf with white eyes and very sleek fur. Santino is brown with glowing green eyes and curly fur around his neck (I really liked that from your ideas :3), and the darkness that surrounds him is more murky and smoky rather than a pure black like John's. And yes, he's also a bit smaller than John.

Changing into a werewolf can be voluntary or involuntary. When they do it on purpose, it isn't painful. But it happens against their will on the full moon, or when they become too enraged to control themselves, and when that's the case, it feels like every muscle is being torn apart. They're screaming from pain and very sore afterwards.

Okay, with the lore out of the way, the story between the two of them:

John doesn't like being a werewolf - it's something that the High Table uses to control him. So he doesn't want Santino to have to go through that. But he changes Santino to save his life. He was severely injured and John bit him because werewolves heal faster than humans. (It'd have to be an injury that kills you slowly, because the first change takes about a day. So I imagine they had both been kidnapped and held for ransom, and Santino was dying of an infection in a stab wound.)

This has a major effect on who Santino is as a person, because it forces him to work through his trauma. To me, being a werewolf is all about having uncontrollable outbursts of anger and fear. And learning to control when you change, learning to change back into a human, thinking clearly and remembering who you are when you're in wolf form...all of that comes from managing your emotions. So John has to show Santino the techniques he learned at the Tarkovsky for managing anger, dealing with panic attacks, meditating, etc.

They're also the only two people who aren't bothered by each other's darkness. No one else can touch them or pet them when they're in wolf form because of that terrifying fog that surrounds them. John has never been petted before he meets Santino </3 But they don't scare each other, so they can nuzzle against each other and give each other comfort.

At the end of their story, once they're happy husbands, Santino has a more positive outlet for all of that rage, too, because he has learned how to enjoy being a werewolf. They go through the change together. They go on runs through the forest together every month and just yell about everything that's bothering them (aka howl at the moon) and tear things up and eat deer and playfight and act cute and freaky together and finally curl around each other, tired out, until they wake up naked in each other's arms in the soft morning sunlight. 💙🖤

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol. 8

Hi darlings! This week's digest is a little small because I took the time to catch up on a bunch of WIPs I've been reading (and they've all already been rec'd). That being said there are some bangers on here if I do say so myself. Oh also I'm at Pride this weekend, that's why this is like 5 hours later than usual.

The spreadsheet is here! It's up to 217 fics now!

cute lil joel pic to kick us off ;)

Feelings on Fire - a Joel series by @joelscruff

This one is for my religious trauma girlies lmao. I personally relate a little bit to how this Reader was raised (southern baptist instead of catholic) with the grades and the extracurriculars and stuff, but I was nowhere near as sheltered. I say all that to say that while I usually have trouble immersing myself into a fic where the reader is this level of innocent, I did not have that issue at all. And GOD do I want to immerse myself in this fic.

Landlord from Hell - a (dark) Frankie one shot by @absurdthirst

If you like You, this one is for you. I loved it but I also was hollering at Reader the whole time to run the fuck away. I was so fucking uncomfortable the whole time, but also the smut was fucking excellent lmao. Incredible horror/thriller fic AGH

more - an Ezra one shot by @ezrasbirdie

This did very unexpected things to me. I'm a pretty firm no on not one, but two of the kinks in this fic but... I'll do anything for Ezra I guess lmao. Read the warnings friends, this one is a (beautiful) doozy

What he deserves - a Dave York one shot by @absurdthirst

Dave is so.... daddy. This is one of those completely indulgent fantasy fics for me. Live in nanny fucks the super hot dad and the kids are also a dream and the ex wife is evil so there's no guilt... perfect!

Sold to Joel Miller - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters and @wannab-urs

Totally serious and not a joke fic at all, what?

In My Hometown - a Joel series by @swiftispunk

Oh boy. I got pining, smut, AND angst all in one fic? Hell yes. And it's like... believable angst, which isn't always the case. I felt so fucking bad for Joel, I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and hold him forever. I love a man who is just absolutely pathetically in love. Just completely pitiful. Down bad. There's so many good things about this, I'm doing it a disservice with this explanation. Just read it.

Thought That I Was Dreaming - a Dieter one shot by @haylzcyon

Ohhh this Dieter made me unreasonably happy. He's such a cutie... and so fucking sexy. Oh how I dream about getting high with Dee and spending a whole weekend fucking each other silly.

-------Pre-Digest Fic Recs-------

adding more of these than usual since I didn't read much new stuff this week :)

Seams - a Joel series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

I'm Starvin' Darlin - a Joel series by @me-and-your-husband

All Work, No Play - a Javi P one shot by @loquaciousferret

I Think of You - a Din series by @prolix-yuy

No Drug Like Me - a Dieter series by jazzelsaur (ao3)

Tied - a Din series by @radiowallet

Friendly Fire - Joel series by @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Designated Person - a Frankie series by @whatsnewalycat

Not from around here - an Oberyn series by @mishasminion360

-------- My Fics --------

I wrote one (1) tiny little drabble, but hey better than nothing!

Bruise - a Dieter drabble set in my A Ghost of You universe (deadbeat druggie artist boyfriend with severe mental health issues + reader is his entire universe. She has a savior complex. It's a lot. Read that here). Dieter and Reader get unreasonably high and decide to paint each other. Written in a style I've never shown anyone before, sorry if it's weird lol

------------

Happy Reading!

[devilsmenu]

Hey y'all! A plotting call for the violentine's day event! Under the cut have more information about what muses will be doing at the event. Click the heart and I'll hit you up at discord for plots!

Ally | Descendants | Unaffected | Paired with Morrigan

Let's be honest Ally could never defend herself and probably would get herself killed lol so she would probably be running for her life.

Open for: minor or major injuries, helping or sheltering your muse, hiding with them.

Calliope | Hercules | Unaffected | Paired with Faith

Calliope definitely wouldn't hurt anyone unless it's necessary and it doesn't seem like it so she would probably help people out. Feel free to hurt her though, major or minor injuries.

Open plots: major/minor injuries, help your muse, hiding with them.

Felicia | Marvel | Unaffected | Paired with Lin

She's been hurt by love before and even wanted revenge against her shit of an ex boyfriend so it wasn't like she was going all heart eyes. She actually can hurt people so feel free your muse fighting with her.

Open plots: major/minor injuries, helping your muse, killing or injuring others, fighting with them, receiving help.

Harriet | Descendants | Affected | Paired with Shi Wudu

I'm sure she's going to rip lol but she's going to giving herself without a fight. Being a high skill with weapons and hand on hand combat she may not win this but she certainly can give someone a big headache.

Open plots: doppelgangers, major/minor injuries, get in their way, fighting with them, someone trying to get her out of it, helping others, death.

Heiya | Alice in Borderland | Affected | Paired with Tiabeanie

For Heiya sounds like Borderland all over again. She doesn't want to hurt anyone, she been through that hell. But once she's with her bow you better get out of her way, she was trained by Aguni so she's very good with it.

Open plots: major/minor injuries, getting on her way, death, trying snapping her out of it.

Jamie | Stranger Things | Affected | Paired with Isabela

Honestly Jamie doesn't hate her powers but she hate how she got a lot of innocent people involved in it so yeah, another trauma for her, poor baby. She really doesn't want to hurt Isabella at all though especially because she's a cutie.

Open plots: minor injuries, getting on her way, helping people, doppelgangers, someone trying to snap her out of it, death.

Jihyo | Stranger Things | Unaffected | Paired with Oliver

Jihyo couldn't hurt a butterfly lol so she'll probably be running away and also trying to help people.

Open plots: helping others, hiding with them, minor injuries, receiving help.

Lonnie | Descendants | Affected | Paired with Charlie

Lonnie is a cute so she wouldn't hurt someone unless it's necessary so she would be like really confused and not wanting to hurt Charlie though. Also high skilled in martial arts and white weapons.

Open plots: helping others, minor/major injuries, death, someone trying to snap her out of it, doppelgangers, getting on her way.

Lorna | Marvel | Affected | Paired with Morgana

Lorna had her villain early days but she doesn't want to become like her father and then became a student in X-Men and that's where she stayed. She have magnetokinesis powers and is a powerful fighter. Morgana is hella powerful too so it would be interesting.

Open plots: major or minor injuries, death, someone trying to get her out of it, getting in their way, doppelgangers.

Noah | Scream | Affected | Paired with Morgan

Noah an horror enthusiastic that was chased and traumatized by Ghostface being a Ghostface for a night? You can definitely see it. He's going be traumatized for his life rip.

Open plots: doppelgangers, someone trying to snap him out of it, getting on their way, helping others, major/minor injuries.

Romeo | Romeo & Juliet | Unaffected | Paired with Juliet

Romeo just wanted a date night with his wife after centuries and now finally free, but of course he wouldn't have it lol.

Open plots: hiding with them, sheltering or helping them, receiving help.

Satana | Marvel | Unaffected | Paired with Isabelle

Another normal day on Satana's life lol she wouldn't be surprised when shit went down. Isabelle is damn awesome but Satana is a half succubus half human and also a witch so it would also be a interesting fight.

Open plot: helping others, receiving help, major or minor injuries, killing them, getting in their way, death, fighting with them.

Tony | West Side Story | Unaffected | Paired with Maria

Also another one that wanted a normal date night with the love of his life but of course it would end up chaotic. He would try to help people the best he can.

Open plots: sheltering or helping them, receiving help, major or minor injuries, hiding with them.

[gay-david-tennant]

..sure. just be warned, this involves alternate realities, spoilers for King Richard II (the play in general and DT's version in particular (yes, there are things happening in that version that are spoilers even if you are familiar with the play itself (seriously watch the play before you read this, please))) and a (at least to my husband) horrifying amount of plushies. putting this under a read more in order not to spoil people

It starts, as it will end, with William Shakespeare, world's most famous author of RPF. In the year 1595 - a year even the oldest of us won't remember because of it's sheer unimportance - the present version of WouldIwas Shookspeared finished the play King Richard II. The titular character, lovingly called King Dick by no one but me, is a bit (read: a lot) of a drama queen, sarcastic bitch and a sopping wet pathetic human. One could argue that David Tennant was born to play him (or in one of those universes where a David Tennant character meets Good Ole Billy, 'cause writers just looove to do that, that the part was written with him in mind). Now we come to the part where you have to tread real careful or you'll get spoiled because while you can't have shit in Detroit (or Cincinnati) you can at least have David Tennant in King Richard II. So now for the first spoiler, and this is gonna be a real shocker: Dickie dies. Sad, I know, but Willy did love to bury his... well, anyone really. And to say it in the words of Hamlet's mum-aunt: "Thou know’st ’tis common; all that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity." In the original play, Richie-Bitchie gets ganked by a random guy (literally, the guy is only there to stab the ex-king and thus piss of the new king). To quote my husband (allegedly) quoting David Tennant this is kinda a "shit ending" so someone in the production (probably not DT alone) decided to tweak the ending a bit (despite my husband's insistence of the contrary definitely for the better) thus abiding one of the Ancient Laws™.

This Law, which someone more fond of alliteration would probably call Luke's Law and which I am going to call Cole's Law instead, states that if a piece of media exists long enough, someone somewhere will inevitably make it gay in mainstream media (or, in the case of Shakespeare's works, more gay). So in this particular adaptation Rick is an even bigger bisexual disaster than in the original text (though far be it from me to slander the original Richard of Bordeaux by claiming he was less queer than DT's version). Therefore in the first minutes of the play, instead of letting his cousin, Henry Bolingbroke, Duke of Herford, kiss his hand, Rickle-Dickle just kisses him. On the mouth. In front of the whole court (and the theatre audience). Now, you, who is probably intimately familiar with Our Anointed Bisexual Disaster, are probably not very surprised by this turn of events. My husband was. He was silent for more than two minutes. I was silently and not-so-silently laughing for about 5 minutes. After that my husband spent the next hour silently and not-so-silently afraid of people randomly kissing each other.

"But OP you promised plushies," you might say, outraged at me having written way to many words about some drama queer and no words about plushies. Fret not, dear reader, for here come the dru- plushies, i mean plushies. (Disclaimer: Read on at your own risk, the author of this text cannot be held responsible for any trauma you might suffer. The author also wants to note that he is normal, thank you very much.)

Let me introduce you to this lad here

Fig. 1: cutie-patootie

[Image ID: A picture of a colorful dog plushie with yellow head, blue torso and green legs. He is wearing a half black-red and half beige-light blue bracelet as a collar. /End ID]

His name is Pauschi and he is very cute (author's note: every single thing on this post except this can be debated). What my husband (and currently you) did not know was that there is not only Pauschi but also

Fig. 2: not the same cutie-patootie

[Image ID: A photo of a plushie of the same model but not the same plushie as the one above. This one is not wearing a collar. /End ID]

Him. He is not Pauschi. He does not look like Pauschi. Not at all. Which I am pretty sure you, my dear reader, have already noticed. Alas, my husband did not believe me. He wanted proof. And who am I to withhold proof from him? He wanted proof, so I gave him proof:

Fig. 3: "This is what an AuDHD brain would look like" - Ladle, not me

[Image ID: A collection of plushies similar to the dogs shown above. In addition to seven dogs there are also small and big mice and one singular rabbit from the same brand with a similar colour scheme. All in all there are 37 plushies. /End ID]

If you have survived looking at this without questioning what is real or not you are stronger than my husband who, upon seeing this, prompty accuses me of breaking the very fabric of reality in order to built up a clone army of plushies to then march against the world. I explain that I am merely collecting plushies. He explains that he is suspecting the genre of his life has just turned into horror. I explain that maybe he should sleep. He clicks to resume watching the play. For a good hour nothing particular interesting happens. I say hello to my mother-in-law. My husband threatens to kill Shakespeare for the umpteenth time. We both make fun of the King of Robbing around on the Floor. My mother-in-law tells me something about how my "hello" has led to a spiritual cleansing of her irritation. Shakespeare takes 34 lines to say something that could have been said in two. Relaxation slowly but surely sets in. King Richard II kisses another one of his cousins.

If my plushie collection was the last straw that broke the camel's back then this is the boulder that flattens the camel to the ground. Screams are scrumpt. Threats are made. I try to feel bad for laughing so hard but fail spectacularly. If Shakespeare had been alive at that moment he wouldn't have been for much longer. As it stands I am now fairly certain either necromancy or time travel will be discovered in the near future by someone very intent on killing a certain playwright. A very suspiciously silent two minutes follow in which Asmi desperately tries to find someone other than Shakespeare to blame. He finds David Tennant as the culprit and simultaneously spoils the ending of the play for himself (yeah, yeah, i know, despite having mentioned they changed the ending a bit i haven't actually told you what they changed. truth is i forgot to mention it anywhere cause i was too caught up in the homosexuality of it all). I try to convince him there are other people who could be potentially responsible for including the kiss scenes but he is already preoccupied thanking each and every single entity between heaven and hell and above and beyond that David Tennant is straight. The only reason my confusion is short-lived is due to Asmi's mounting fear of my plushies shattering the barrier between realities and letting a gay David Tennant through. I fail to see the exact problem with that. Subsequently I am subjected to a rather unmathematical rant about the frequency with which a certain actor kisses men. By doing the crime of extrapolating from one known data point (this world's David Tennant's frequency of kissing men) my husband comes to the conclusion that any David Tennant attracted to men would be kissing men nearly constantly. At this point I am laughing too hard to point out the mathematical flaws in this reasoning. Then I get kicked out of the stream.

Because I am nothing if not a bastard I try to rejoin as Gay David Tennant. Asmi blocks me from entering. I try again as GAY David Tennant. Google Meet blocks me on the grounds of my name being "suspicious". Asmi lets me join as Straight David Tennant. I gleefully tell him that means I stole this world's DT's heterosexuality - a consequence of Pauli's exclusion principle. I get kicked out of the stream again. While I try to think of another name to torture Asmi bring happiness into my husband's life I am struck by a revelation so powerful that I might actually believe God spoke to me, open tumblr and change my name to gay-david-tennant just to see if I can. I can. I am now a dozen times more worried about the prospect of any post of mine landing as a screenshot on another site because of the sheer inexplicablity of my name but I am also confusing people spectacularly so it all works out in the end.

PS: If any of you finds the red thread I lost here, I'd be absolutely thrilled if you gave it back.

if anyone asks about the name it's the fault of @weirdly-specific-but-ok

[dreamer-snail]

Possible Eddie Munson x fem-farmer!reader fic???

Hey there. So, like, Stranger Things season 4 was really good . . . and I’ve decided to love Eddie Munson . . . and would anyone be interested if I wrote a series (or a one shot or headcannon given my inability to carry out series) with Eddie Munson and a fem!reader? And like, the reader’s dad or guardian figure has a small farm and she helps out with it . . . and she doesn’t have a whole lot of friends since that’s not “normal nuclear family” and ya know fickle popularity stuff in the 80s . . . and she’s seen Eddie around but they’re not close or anything . . . but then she catches him smoking in one of her family’s orchards one night . . and they don’t really know how to react cause they’re ✨dumb ✨ . . . but then he keeps showing up . . . and they get to know each other a little . . . and sometimes the reader makes him help with farm stuff, but he so doesn’t know how and is just super out of his element and cute . . . and he’s squatting down holding grain out to chickens like it’s a little present because that’s the best he can do . . . they still don’t talk much in school, but now more then normal . . . over time, they become closer friends . . . maybe dumb Jason jock stuff . . . but it doesn’t matter cause Eddie and the reader can be themselves and cute and eventually lil kisses and cuddles and other cutie things . . .

So yeah! Let me know if there’s an interest. I definitely would want some interaction with the other kids and characters, but I don’t know if I want it to follow the plot of season 4 like a rewrite. No matter what, I’d probably start a little before season 4 does anyway, but I feel like there’s been a lot of rewrites so maybe something where they just get to be in their little lives and no one has to die or get hurt or go through serious trauma 😊

Anyway, comment or let me know!

Permanent Taglist:  @amaranthskies-writes​ @thetravelingsologuy​

Eddie Munson Taglist:

[what-if-nct]

(same guy from last post — same warnings)

—

rahhhhh trust if i knew someone who was in a gang i would of set him up to get stabbed to death by like 4-5 men and then pray to jonghyun to bring him back to earth do he could suffer more before he goes where he would beat him up more but he gonna help me with this girl anyways because she might have some injury to her brain making her go into a coma or something he’ll always have my back i know it

if i ever go to court, my cousin will have my back. well… all of them will but especially the 28 year old one which i will call her mvp but the girl i beaten up is also a onew stan but i’ll call her an npc because it makes the most sense lol (i’m sorry but that nickname is hilarious when i sing it “noona you’re my NPC” 😭😭😭)

oh yeah for the others, i’m gonna call the dec 18th girl a locket (or a taemint since she changes it a lot in every comeback 😭), her best friend who she has comforted her through dec 18th a flame and one of the guys (we call him felix lol — ok fine i don’t have any ideas he had ginger hair ok) who had came up few years after the npc’s boyfriend (yes, THAT’S her boyfriend and also they were on a date together since she was wearing a dress (the type where you go out with) and they looked like the mean couple like the team rocket from pokemon where they were wearing matching colours like black and white — haha i ruined a date) came to apologise on what happened and that if anything happened, he would back me up in court alongside with proof (which i didn’t see the pictures since why would you want to watch yourself getting rApPé and reliving your trauma again?)

but yeah… my mom knew about it since i literally cried when i came back home because i ran home crying with just my bleeding underwear and a shirt i had. i haven’t washed the underwear ever since so we could show it for evidence and stuff. my dad knew either, but he just claimed that it was my fault i couldn’t keep my legs closed as a “young lady.” first of all, i was TWELVE. second of all, i’m a BOY. third of all, wow victim blaming, how original. didn’t see that before eh? fourth of all, just wtf- fifth of all, this is my second wtf and sixth of all this is my THIRD wtf like WHAT? i literally wanted to throw him to the moon so jonghyun could use his bat to hit him with like we’re playing baseball. yeah of course, this was a year before dec 18th but seriously, i still want to throw him to the clouds so he could hit him to the next dimension. i could imagine a smily jjong hearing me saying “BALL” and he would get his bat ready to hit so FRICKING hard that nobody could catch him.

naurrrr he better give that npc a sike when her ghost comes up like he be looking at her and be like “welcome to heaven! SIKE! now get back down you BITCH! not you cutie! aww you’re such a cute gurlllll- now make sure this npc doesn’t die for me, ok honey?” and then starts patting his dog like has never said those stuff. why is that so hilarious to think like that lmaooooo 😭😭😭 (it’s a coping mechanism to process what has happened)

but yeah… it’s nice to see that you’re doing well. i just got myself checked at the hospital and i only had a bruise and a cut on my right cheek so- also she had long nails so it probably cut me 😭

also my sister was unharmed which i’m glad, but she’e also gonna have my back since she remembered the day it happened and she thought it was just my period (because she seen videos) but then i explained it in a way her little mind could understand and that day on i even showed her some self defence skills i’ve learned that she could use since this could happen to her regardless of her age. i was 12 and she was 8 so this pretty much explains the age gap. she’s my little blinger i raised and she’s still a blinger until this day. she haven’t changed her bias at all and doesn’t plan in changing it, although she does love the other members. i could call her my little blinger, but i think sister makes sense unless if i do get another little sister which… may or may not happen but my mom is quite young so maybe…? she had me when she was about 28 making her 46 which i think it’s a little old but still a chance. she did tried to get another baby when i was 8 but had a miscarriage and haven’t tried again ever since. she might be done with kids, especially my dad.

I really hope that guy gets everything he deserves in which ever way the universe and Jonghyun sees fit. And what you're dad said is so horrible and I'm sorry that you had to hear that. You were 12, you were a child it wasn't your fault at all, it's really not fair that something traumatic happened to you and you were blamed. I am so sorry all of that happened to and I really am hoping that the guy and his girlfriend are haunted with what he did and her complacency of his actions as well as how she's treated you. I hope they have no peace. Also little sisters are like built in best friends and even if you're the oldest they will defend and fight for you like their older. And the relationship you have with your sister sounds so wonderful and I can tell you're the best big brother.

[wolfhowlingdragonflyingsirensong]

spoilers

Since I recently played Life is Strange, which whoah, is totally an experience that I recommend to everyone, I’ve come to appreciate how well the game handles choices. It’s interesting how choices can seem meaningless good acts, like helping Alyssa avoid being hit, translates to her trusting Max enough for Max to save her. But, the game also points out how we can’t control consequences, since good deeds are done with nothing but good intentions can have fatal consequences, such as warning Victoria (and her believing you) leads to her murder, or the biggest good deed of them all, saving Chloe, leads to a storm that (can) kill lots of people. And ultimately, what’s cool is that every choice is canon, since Max it’s not a blank slate, meaning every choice the player makes is something Max considered. What do I mean with Max not being a blank slate? I mean regardless of your choices, Max likes waffles AND bacon and eggs. This is a minor example, but it serves for many things. Max can comfort Victoria or not, and later when they talk at the party regardless of your choice, Max at first is pretty angry, so she’s completely capable of standing up for herself and others. Max loves Chloe regardless of the player's feelings towards her. Max can be pretty uncaring or a literal angel, by Kate. And all of this is canon because even nice people contemplate not being nice all the time, even if it’s only a thought. This brings me to the ships topics. First of all, I’m glad that this game has non-ambiguous, non-sexualized, soft wlw romance (actually two counting BTS!) without the canon protagonist being turned evil or something, and I think that’s incredibly important. If the game had only Chloe as a love interest, I would totally get it and have no problem,  because the game is pretty much focused on their bond. Not that it matters to those who do, I personally don't ship it because I self-project (and I totally recognize it) on friendships I had in my youth that were a bit like Chloe and Max's friendship in the first episodes, and they were toxic. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends and they were (are) good people. I like Chloe a lot, and there's no denying that there are strong feelings on Max's part for Chloe that are romantic, and it's up to the player to determine if Max is going to pursue Chloe. Denying it means that is both not reading Max's diary and erasing her sexuality. I write this because I don't want to seem like I don't ship them because I like Grahamfield, it's not that, I could very well be into both, and I think Chloe develops so much at the end of episode 5 that, while before I thought she was only in love with Rachel, at that point is totally understandable for me. If you ship Pricefield then that's awesome! You have all the canon content to back you up and a beautiful story of love with the childhood friends-to-lovers trope, can't get much better. Plus, the whole game is about their bond. It's incredibly well developed at the end mostly when you see Chloe growing out of her initial angry phase, and maturing in a beautiful way. So, shipping Grahamfield in this fandom sometimes feels like hey, you are a giant dick. I don't like hate on any ship or character (especially dunking on Chloe, because she's a representation of how trauma is not nice while actually being cool and kind, as well as being one of the few wlw canon protagonists), because both choices are completely canon, it's entirely up to the player. Again, if Chloe was the only canon love interest then that would be totally cool. Buuuut Max can choose to go on a date with Warren, write on his slate that he is cute, raise his grade (which can be done as a friendship thing only), help him in his experiment, kiss him, and if she does, she writes in his diary "I wanted one kiss from a boy I cared about", that to me, reads as having a canon interest in him too. And since Max is bisexual from what I understand, erasing that part doesn't sit well with me. Both Chloe and Warren have flaws, which hey is what happens with characters. Can you imagine having perfect characters? That would be so boring. He is a realistic 16-year-old boy to Max's 18 and Chloe's 19 years. He is extremely awkward, dorky, a little cringy, a boy with a harmless boy with a crush and that's normal at that age. He's helpful almost to a fault, and while some argue that's because he feels entitled, let me tell you, no niceGuy I've ever met has been so helpful if you don't give in, they don't back out after someone lets them down nicely, and he states his interest in Max clearly, and niceGuys don't tend to do that because they like to pine away and be angry that a girl didn't read his mind and magically fell in love with him. He believes Max from the get-go and helps her all the time, regardless of his feelings, which is like, basic decency, so if you want to call him a piece of shit I think that's going a little too far. If you want to take the words of others, Kate says he's a smart and silly cutie-pie with a good heart, suggests they take him with them to their tea-shop tour of Portland after everything and supports their date (besides them being friends, he brings her homework and is shown worried about her). I don't remember that part well, but I think Alyssa and Dana also support Grahamfield (and Brooke is very jealous!) so I think if he was an asshole they wouldn't be so supportive and Brooke wouldn't be into him, or Stella in another reality. My only point is that hey if you don't like him that's fine, but to call him a pervert or entitled or assholery is kinda uncalled for, to be honest, and using the nightmare sequence, in which EVERYONE is out of character (except Jeffershit) and shown being assholes, as a canon that he is bad seems to me like going out of your way. It's a nightmare for a reason, do you really think Kate would have said those things to Max if you save her? She's incredibly grateful. Or do you think Chloe would have done those things??? She would NEVER. Then why is Warren being treated as someone who would do those things for a nightmare? I don't get it. There are two myths regarding him: that he spies on Max and that he photoshopped a photo with them. First one, you can verify with mods that he can't see SHIT, he is merely waiting for her outside. Second, the photo is developed, not photoshopped, Max doesn't say hey we never took that photo, she merely is surprised he kept it. Now, he's a bit pushy when it comes to the drive-in (he acknowledges he's a pain in the booty), says like a stupid joke (a 16-year-old making stupid jokes, what a crime), and has that photo, which for some is crossing boundaries, and hey, that's fine. I, personally, just think a 16-year-old having a photo with his friend and crush is not creepy or bad. So, now that I'm over the ship discourse, which I hate but had to write to explain, I'm so glad this game brought so many interesting characters. My only complaint is that it felt a little too short when it came to other characters, I guess it's because the literal theme of the game is about abandoning youth and growing up as well, so that's because it's very focused on Chloe and Max's relationship, besides the romance. I adore Kate! I’m so happy we were able to save her, it was seriously one of the best moments I’ve ever seen in a game, I would have liked to see her future children’s book with Max’s photos, their tea sessions, and her coming back to school. I would love to have seen more of Stella, (a POC I think) that according to her words, faced an abusive home and poverty to end up studying in a prestigious school like Blackwell, busting her ass to work and yet being super cool and kind! I would have loved to see more of Daniel, how he faced bullying, how his home life is, his budding romance with Brooke, his future drawings. I would have loved to see more of Dana! How she dealt with abortion, a heavy topic, and yet she's super happy, nice, and in a loving relationship apparently. I would have liked to see more of Juliet's reporting skills, I feel like she could have been more important to the plot, or at least more exposés on bullying and the Prescotts. I would have loved to see more of Alyssa, what she likes, her relationships, etc. I would have loved to see more of Taylor! How her mom was doing, what steps was she going to take in not falling with the Vortex Club bullshit, her love for fashion, like Courtney. We didn't get to know Courtney at all I feel and I would have liked to! I would have liked to see more of Victoria, her insecurities, her relationship with her parents, her inner thoughts (she's totally bi too I bet), even her friendship with Nathan seemed deeper. I would have liked to see more of cool hipster Evan, or good skater boy Luke. In short, I would have LOVED to have them all hanging more with Max. The ending, oh man, what an ending. It's incredibly hard, and I hate that saving Arcadia Bay seems to go into "bury your gays" trope, because if there was a way to save them both I would. The writing is very powerful, ending the way it began. This leads me to my initial topic, choices. I love that the game gives us choices, and considering there are other alternative realities, maybe both choices are canon in different universes. If I was in Chloe's shoes I couldn't choose to sacrifice my mom, and Joyce dies if Chloe is saved, as well as many other innocents, so I can't choose that ending, I just can't (and I understand that's totally personal for everyone). A really tough choice, at least for me, and hey, if it wasn't specified that practically everyone died, I would have saved Chloe no questions asked. I do love, however, how Chloe matures so much in the course of 5 days and her bond with Max. She sacrifices for Arcadia Bay, and a lot of it is because of Max, because she doesn't want her to make that choice. So now if you excuse me, I'm still playing the funeral scene in my mind and the bathroom scene (totally broken) and had to write this as cathartic, so feel free to disagree with me or whatever you prefer, each one of us experiences a different game because of our different experiences in life. Next step: BTS and LIS2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9uy4V8SvPk

[bluewormonastring]

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 5)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Kinda mad because I already typed out commentary for the first 10 mins before accidentally deleting it but nevertheless we persevere

I’ve missed them being goofy so fucking much this makes me so happy

HES WEARING A BELL PHAHAHAHA

Lucius is abt to go tf off

ED IS TRYING HIS BEST JIM BE RESPECTFUL SMH

LUCIUS I LOVE YOU LMFAOOO

Lu looks like a lesbian going to a rodeo w those bell bottoms

Not a single person believes buttons is a bird

OMG OLU IS WITH JIM AND ARCHIE OMG YAY I LOVE JIM AND ARCHIE DONT GET ME WRONG BUT I WAS SO SAD THAT WE WERENT GETTING MORE OLU TIME

Lucius ur insane again xX

But he’s so fr with the words I’m sorry never being said and “the bar is on the floor”

OH MY FUCKING GOD IZZY AND LUCIUS ARE TALKING LIKE THEYRE MAKING EYE CONTACT COEXISTING OH MY GOD (now kiss)

Daily reminder that I adore Izzy hands

FUCK OFF THEYVE SWITCHED IZZYS BOLD NOW HE TOOK THE JOINT OR WTV AND WENT TO PUT IT BACK IN LUS MOUTH AND HE HIT IT AWAY

Crying they put motherfucking Blackbeard on probation

Living for stede practicing captaining

He’s so proud of the door lmfao

“Oh hey friend” “AHH FUCK YOU”

YES FINALLY WE GOT THE LUCIUS AND ED CONFRONTATION

“There is nothing you could do that could fix this” “I will let you push me off the ship” “actually-“ LMFAOOO

Izzy ur so talented I love you

“Yeah Blackbeard says a lot of things… but what did he say about me… sss…specifically” Izzy I love you ur perfect

Oh stede you’re trying

LUCIUS REENACTING THE FUCKING PUSHING HIM OFF LMAO

OH MY FUCKIN GOD LMFAO “FUCKIN EAT MY SHIT BLACKBEARD HOW DOES THAT FEEL BITCH” PHAHAHAHAH

I don’t think you actually feel better my friend

Whatcha doin fang

“I’m gonna catch some fishies” I LOVE YOU FANG

AWWW YAY IM SO GLAD FANG IS HAPPY AGAIN HE IS MY SON

Izzy respectfully what are u carving this whole episode

I fuckin knew there was gonna be some demon symbol shit this episode

JIM DIPPING LMFAO

Stede respectfully stay the fuck away from that vest

OH MY GOD THATS WHY HE SAYS I DID A PUNCH LMAO

Also I thought that dude was Lucius at first

“Playing las maracas with the devil” *spits*

HES SO GIRLY POP IN THAT OUTFIT

Living for Izzy and stede just causally spending time together (but don’t fuck sorry kids I am not a stizzyhands girlie)

OH MY GOD ITS PETE AND LUCIUS

NOT EDS FACE BEING ON EVERYTHING LMAO

Lucius trauma is not a competition dont act confused when Pete gets upset

AWWWW JIM KEEPING THEIR PEOPLE SAFE

I would believe it if samba invented peanut butter tbh

Ohhhhhh is frenchie allergic to peanuts and also how has he not discovered this yet

I adore how David Fane says dick

AWWW ED REALIZING THAT HE WAS GENUINELY SCARING PEOPLE

See Ed that’s how you say “I’m sorry”

SCREAMING LUCIUS AND IZZY ARE TALKING AGAIN LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTE

Izzy are u genuinely trying to convince yourself it was a shark denial doesn’t count as moving forward my boy

NOW KISS HEHEHEHE

“I actually love this” ASWW BABY

“THEY RIPPED MY POCKET THE FUCKIN BARBARIANS”

“OHHHH FUCK OFFFFF” “rude”

Living for fang and Ed’s therapy sesh

Fang is normal people dealing with my adhd ass (Ed)

The way he lured them all out lmao

Stede just say it’s real my boy

SCREAMING AT IZZYS 👌😏 AFTER STEDE SHOOTS THE GUN

Lucius better hella redeem himself rn

I would not say that’s Pete but okay

WHY IS HE GETTING ON HIS KNEES HELLO!??

OH MY GOD

LUCIUS

OH MY GOD

NO FUCKING WAY

LUCIUS HOLY SHIT

OH MY GOD MATELOTAGE

IM SO HAPPY FOR MY BABIES

ED SHOWING OFF HIS FISH HES SO PROUD OG MY BABY

AND THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL CALLBACK OH MY GOD THIS IS PERFECTION

OH MY GOD ARE THEY GONNA KISS

FUCK OFF THEYRE FUCKING KISSING OMG

YAAAAAAAY

WEVE WAITED SO LONG

Oh shit that was like a kiss kiss

Awwww “let’s take it slow”

CUTIESSSSSSSS

IM SO HAPPY RN

AH HOLDING HANDS

CUTIES PART 2

THIS? PERFECT SOMEONE SEDATE ME

FANGS REAL NAME IS KEVIN OMFG

Guys this was literally the most perfect episode I’ve ever seen I’m genuinely so happy couldn’t have been better definitely my new favorite episode

And with that I’ll see u kids next week bye bye now

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Holy shit I’m so excited

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oauxbwkxjwhz

LOVE THE BLACK SCREEN W A SHARP CUT TO THE BEACH 10/10

OMG WE GET THE STEDE AND IZZY BEACH SWORD NOW? SO SOON? YOU SPOIL ME OFMD

Omg he’s been stabbed this is for sure a dream sequence

STEDE THATS MURDER EVEN IF ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD

“You absolute twa….” BEST DYING WORDS EVER ILY IZZY ALWAYS AND FOREVER

THE SLOW RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER OMG

AND STEDES FACE AND HIS VOICE AND AWW BABY

AWWW THE WAY THEY CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER

“BABE” HA FOWIHXBWNA I WAS NOT PREPARED

“I KNEW YOUD FIND ME LOVE”

“Fuckin love the beard mate”

Oh we’ve started farting lovely

OH MY GOD I WASNT PREPARED FOR HOW ID FEEL WHEN IT CUT TO HIM WITH EVERYONE AWW MY BABIES IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

“Cant be worse than you moaning ‘Ed oh ed’ all night” ILY PETE

Iconic title screen as always

“DEAR ED” AHHHH

SPANISH JACKIE ILY

Instantly taking an interest in the Swede as we knew would happen but still iconic

Ugh I love Leslie jones did I mention I love Leslie jones

Nat looks so scared aww baby

I love wee John being security

And host stede aww baby

I live for black Pete dealing with working in customer service

And all of them tbh

Aww poor buttons he needs his ocean and Livy

I’m ngl for a second I was like “where’s Fred armisen- oh wait”

ITS THE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN LINE YESS

HELLO YES I ADORE IZZY HANDS HE CAN DO NO WRONG IDC WHAT YOU SAY IVE MISSED MY BABY BOY

Ahh the wedding

“Demon? *shakes head* I’m the fucking devil” AHH

Guys were only 6 minutes in and this post is already long as shit so buckle up (if ur actually reading it lmao my ass would be like nope too long”

THERES MY VICO HELLO VICO ILY AND MY JOEL FRY ILY BABIES

Ah yes ye olde put trauma in a box in lock it

Awww fang baby boy someone give him a hug find him Lucius

Omg it’s the “you dumped him” scene

“Did everyone get some cake” because he’s still our precious little angle

HE JUST SNORTED RHINO HORN IS THAT A THING WAS THAT A THING IN HISTORY HUH

NO ITS THIS SCENE I DONT WANNA WATCH MY BABY BE SAD

Yes hello I love Izzy hands I would protect him with my life little baby boy

Vico looks so done w his ass

Someone give my baby a hug

Ily fang

The tears in his eyes during “unhand me” aww Angel

AWW IZZY

CONNOTHAN O NONNATHAN WE LOVE YOU YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY UR ABSOLUTE PERFECTION YOU ANGEL

I love the friendship Jim and that girl have

Oh shit Jackie

“BOO CAKES” JACKIE

Stede honey you’re not intimidating

“I know that guy we had breakfast together” “you’ll be having a lot of breakfastes together” “oh okay 🙂” ily Swede

HIM DOING AN ED IMPRESSION LMAO “could be. Could be mate.”

“You’re my hero” 😞😕🙂😏

Swede bein a cute lil double agent

AWW SWEDE “my time with Jackie has been the happiest of my life. Her love has helped me locate parts of myself I didn’t even know existed and reclaim others that I have long missed” ILY

“Tonight is my turn to perform the husbandly duties”

“That’s another toe” ED YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

“Who am I to you” aww Izzy Angel baby he’s accepting it OMG “I have love for you Edward” IZZY YOURE SAYING IT OUT LOUD IM SO PROUD OF YOU BUD

IZZY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY TALK IT THROUGH YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

OMG AND THE SHIFT IN THE MUSIC AS SOON AS HE SAID IT

IZZY RUN

RUN MY BABY BOY RUN

“As a crew” OH EDDDDD

ED DONT POINT A GUN AT JIM

OR ANYONE ELSE

THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF EDWARD TEACH BORN ON A BEACH

“They think ya crazy” cackling his face omg

Go taika absolutely slaying this scene

The way the camera is all like jittery is so good

Jim’s like “beard” makes their chin look like… not caved in but idk like it looks like they have a rly bad overbite yk

“Everyone knows why” “I don’t. Enlighten me” “your feelings for stede fucking bon-“ *GUNSHOT* ARE U SHITTING ME EDWARD NO WE DO BOT SHOOT FRIENDS

OH MY GOD HE MADE FRENCHIE FIRST MATE HOLY SHIT

Oh my god Izzy my poor baby Izzy oh my god how dare you hurt my Izzy

LMAO SWEDE

“FUCK THOSE HAMMIES UP” LMAO

There’s like no way there’s actually anything valuable in that chest

WE GOT TO SEE HER TAKE A NOSE FOR THE NOSE JAR YESSS

OH SHIT INDIGO

“Now give me back my blue shit STEVE”

Susan’s hot

DONT HURT SWEDE

Oh good okay we’re cool

I feel like she’s lying tho

But for now we’re cool

AWW FANG

AWW JIM COMFORTING FANG

“WANNA HEAR THE STORY OF THE WOODEN BOY” AWW

Living for vico using they them for the puppet

“DO THE VOICE” AWW

OMG VICO THATS ICONIC

AWW YAY THEYRE LAUGHING NOW THOSE ARE MY BABIES YAY

Living for buttons reuniting with the ocean

Okay roll credits cheers yall see you next episode

[tmrrwppl]

👫 (okay but... all the ships? 👉👈)

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

What did I do to deserve this? You get 4.

Under a read more cause this is gonna be LONGGGGGGG

Cas & Kayla

True story, Cas was too much of a coward to ask Kayla out so he paid off his little sister to drop a hint for him. Then when he came to his senses and realized, he asked her out right before she was going to ask him. He is probably never going to admit this, but Clari is absolutely going to tell the story at their wedding.

Kayla gets control of the thermostat in the summer and in the summer only. Cas' Florida boy blood has not thickened at all and he still needs the house to be above 79 degrees when it's cold at all times or he'll die like a tropical fish in a pond.

Kayla is probably the only person, other than Clari, that knows about how bad their parents were and why he's grateful they both managed to escape.

Cas buys her flowers every monthiversary and cooks a big dinner. He usually cooks, but this becomes EXTRA special because he's a giant lovesick puppy.

Mal & Segen

Mal literally learns Hebrew for Segen. In all universes, no matter what. He is devoted AF.

He has and will kill again for Segen without hesitation

Literally the epitome of "Badass jerk that melts around tiny cutie" and lays his head in her lap and doesn't give a f what others think

Absolutely dreads being away from her for long periods of time, even if she's just hanging out with Reynolds while he's out of the country... like he is right now D:

Mal & Mike

They should absolutely be in the Cinnamon Rolls of most cinnamon roll ship section, but... **TRAUMA** and EmOtIoNaL dAmAge. but they are still cute AF together. LOOK AT THEM

Almost have that whole synchronized brain thing going on. Always good for them because the one always has their six and is watching out for the other.

In the TWD verses where Mike doesn't die an awful death (honestly, I kill Cas in almost every verse so I can't talk)-- Mike and Mal 100% adopt a kid and raise it to be a badass with bad jokes.

Mal 1000% does not fuck around when it comes to Mike's past. If some dumbass makes a dumb joke they end up with his boot in their dumb mouth.

Alej & Des

These two should not work as well together as they do, but they are both kind of cynical assholes so it balances out. But let's be honest, they are pretty good at making the other smile and laugh... which should and does scare a lot of people.

These two do not mind sharing cramped quarters. It just means Ale gets to lay on top of him whenever warranted (which is... a lot, cause she doesn't waste opportunities).

She's always been a mildly practical gift giver, but every now and then she absolutely needs to get him something expensive and flashy because she wanted him to have it.

tbh, once they met, Ale knew she would never tire of doing the frick frack with him so it's a good thing they ended up liking each other a lot.