#he was also hella relatable to me at the time since I had a bad inferiority complex and didn’t believe in myself- so that’s a bonus lol

[kideaternomnom]

I remember twelve year old me first watching JJK and instantly falling in love with Megumi and Gojo. ESPECIALLY Megumi. I had fat crushes on both of them but Megumi? He was next level to the point all my friends remember the giant ass thing I had for him back then. Like…dark haired dude who’s calm, relatable to me due to his inferiority complex, misunderstood by stupid people, AND he’s well written/deep??? Sign me up

But for real I don’t blame almost-teenager me for falling in love with this dude in the first time watching it. Let’s talk about how fcking pretty Megumi was in just the first episode.

[jonnywaistcoat]

Hey, Horrormaster Sims. I have a wildly different question that barely relates to TMA (Sorry about that) but its about your own process. Please, if you could, can you tell me how your first drafts made you feel? I'm on the fence about writing my own thing (not a podcast, and again, not Magnus related, though I have a million little aus for that delightful tragedy you wrote, thank you for that!) But I'm discouraged by the collective notion that first drafts are always terrible, because there's no ... examples I can solidly use to help the dumb anxiety beast in my brain that tells me everyone who is in any way popular popped out a golden turd and not, well, you know. One of my friends said 'Oh I bet Jonathan Sims's first draft was nothing like what he wanted' and I got the bright idea to just. Send you an ask, since you're trapped on this hellsite like I am. Anyway, thanks for reading this (if you do) and if you'd rather ask it privately, I am cool with that. Alternatively, you're a hella busy man with Protocol (you and Alex are making me rabid, i hope you know) and you can just ignore this! Cheers, man, and good words.

To my mind all writing advice, especially stuff that's dispensed as truisms (like "first drafts are always garbage") are only useful inasmuch as such advice prompts you to pay attention to how you write best: what helps your workflow, what inspires you, what keeps you going through the rough bits. There are as many different ways to write (and write well) as there are people who write and so always consider this sort of thing a jumping off point to try out or keep in mind as you gradually figure out your own ways of writing.

On first drafts specifically, I think the wisdom "all first drafts are bad" is a bit of unhelpful oversimplification of the fact that, deadlines notwithstanding, no piece of writing goes out until you decide its ready, so don't get too hung up on your first draft of a thing, because a lot of writers find it much easier to edit a complete work than to try and redraft as they go. It's also important to not let perfectionism or the fact your initial draft isn't coming out exactly how you want stop you from actually finishing the thing, as it's always better to have something decent and done than to have something perfect and abandoned.

But the idea of a "first draft" is also kind of a fluid one. The "first draft" you submit to someone who's commissioned you will probably be one you've already done a bunch of tweaks and edits to, as opposed to the "first draft" you pump out in a frenzy in an over-caffeinated weekend. For my part, my first drafts tend to end up a bit more polished than most, because I'm in the habit of reading my sentences out loud as I write them (a habit picked up from years of audio writing) so I'll often write and re-write a particular sentence or paragraph a few times to get the rhythm right before moving to the next one. This means my first drafts tend to take longer, but are a bit less messy. I'm also a big-time planner and pretty good at sticking to the structures I lay out so, again, tend to front load a lot of stuff so I get a better but slower first draft.

At the end of the day, though, the important thing is to get in your head about it in a good way (How do I write best? what helps me make writing I enjoy and value? What keeps me motivated?) and not in a bad way (What if it's not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if it doesn't make sense?) so that you actually get it done.

As for how my first drafts made me feel? Terrible, every one of 'em No idea if that's reflective of their quality, though, tbh - I hate reading my own writing until I've had a chance to forget it's mine (I can only ever see the flaws). I suppose there's theoretically a none-zero chance they were pure fragments of True Art and creative perfection, but Alex's editing notes make that seem unlikely.

[crushedsweets]

Can you draw or talk more about Toby and Eyeless Jack or even the X-Virus?

YESSSS i can. heres a lil doodle to get me started.

OKKKK the little concept in my head has slender's MAIN GOAL being to prevent any paranormal/supernatural stuff coming out to the general public. hence his proxies being made to get rid of tapes, evidence, and kill if Necessary. sometimes slender makes paranormal/supernatural ppl help out his human proxies "as payment for refuge" in his forest. SO that sorta explains how toby and jack know each other and why jack helps at all. he can't rlly go out to the public so he's stuck with these assholes. it's not really supposed to be a 'mansion' trope, moreso random cabins and shelters littered about the forest, but it could work in the mansion au too

Imma ramble abt toby n jacks friendship (in my head) under the cut + a random x virus doodle

as for toby and jack specifically. toby is impulsive, aggressive, can't feel pain, and doesn't know what's good for him, so he's forced to get help from jack a good bit. for a long while there was hella tension between them since, again, jack isn't helping these guys out of the goodness of his heart. he's helping them bc the forest their boss resides in is the only place he's relatively safe. jack has a weird mix of a inferiority and superiority complex, since he envies toby's humanity but also feels like he's 'better' due to toby's own . . violent habits. toby thinks jack is pretty cool from the get-go ('wooow ur grey..') but he gets pissed off with jack's questions and demands of 'DONT RIP UR FUCKING STITCHES' and 'u have a concussion don't fucking scroll on your phone for 5 hours a day'.

toby has no idea if these demands come from actual concern or annoyance, and frankly, neither does jack. regardless, toby's with jack a decent bit. partially since jack makes a lot of people really uncomfortable so it's easy to go hang out with jack when he doesnt wanna deal with anyone else but still wants company. eventually theyre capable of some decent banter and conversations. theyre both mamas boys so thats a very weird touchy topic that they kinda dance around but both feel very deeply and know the other relates. THEY MISS THEIR MOMS SO BADLY.. :( mayhaps one year toby helps drop off flowers to jack's moms house for mothers day. jacks way too ashamed to even get within a 10 mile radius of his mom. that's kinda the moment things really shift between them and they actually become friends.

toby also asks abt university. lyra was at community college until she passed, and toby never considered college as an option, so he gets curious on what he missed out on. he also likes to share stuff abt lyra and their old shenanigans. tim and brian have used his childhood against him multiple times before, and it's not like he's gonna trust ben or jeff with that information. jacks sort of like a void he could talk into. jack feels uneasy talking about his life before the sacrifice, since he misses it so unbelievably bad, but toby accidentally got him to talk about it while treating a burn before.

ok and to top this fucking essay off heres xvirus. i had no idea he existed until this year and someone sent me an ask about his updated design, so he's some scribbles for him :9 his concepts super cool tho so maybe ill get more into him later on

[bugeater101]

Stop Hitting Yourself

Synopsis: After four years of high school, you were sick and tired of Yang Jeongin. However, your inexperience with relationships combined with his persistence have you questioning your feelings towards him. Now, in the final stretch of your secondary education, you've somehow been paired up with that brute in a project. Yet, your study plans in the library take a different turn when you let your curiosity (and his perseverance) get the better of you.

Content: bully!Jeongin x nerd!fem!reader, plus size!reader, virgin!innocent!reader (doesn't know anything besides basic biology), dom!Jeongin, big dick!Jeongin, Jeongin is a dumbass (also oscillates between like cold bad boy and golden retriever boy), hand kink, reader has small hands, Jeongin has huge hands (duh), enemies to lovers, school AU, the reader is a bit insecure and endures a lot of bullying by Jeongin (teasing, mocking, comments related to glasses, no other negative comments related to appearance), mentions of smoking, 0-100 kind of plot, groping, spanking, pain kink, oral sex (male!receiving), crying, degradation, slight size kink, public sex, unprotected sex (please where a condom!!), mentions of breeding, vaginal penetrative sex, a hella cute epilogue.

Word Count: ~16.9 k (I AM SO SORRY)

Author's Notes: This fic is for my lovely and patient followers and hte amazing anon who sent in this request! Also, even though this AU takes place in a high school setting, please note that both Jeongin and the reader are 18+ in this fic. Minors, do not interact! This work also follows a lot of stereotypes about like "nerds" and "bullies" but bear with me y'all. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, trussss that it is not because the bully is harbouring some crush on you. This fic uses such dynamics to simply build towards the smut and power dynamics. To quote Tyler the Creator, "Hey, don't do anything I'm about to say." Also, I would eventually love to do another and much shorter part two, but that is an idea for another time. Thank y'all as always!

Taglist: @scribblemetae @mygsis, @9900z @taekbokki,@imtoooyoungforthisshit, @jihanlovic, @compersian

You had three goals once you entered high school: get good grades, stay out of trouble, and try to have fun.

Yang Jeongin, however, seemed hell-bent on destroying any semblance of peace in your life. In fact, you bet that his whole schedule was dedicated to manifesting your misery. Or, possibly, he just brought torment with him wherever he went.

Nevertheless, it was accurate to claim that his purpose (in your perception) was to make you miserable. For the past school year, you had seen more of Jeongin than you ever wished to: your schedules put him in at least two classes with you every semester for four years and you also lived relatively close to one another. So, your encounters were frequent, expected, and... "memorable", to say the least.

Every day since freshman orientation, you have been forced to acknowledge Jeongin's existence on a daily basis. Almost immediately, he adopted a particularly cruel stance toward you. When it all first started, his taunts were just for fun and to seek attention, to say the least. Now, he just seemed mean. Not to anyone in particular: Jeongin was just a generally disagreeable person, and especially to you.  And it hurt.

Obviously, it hurt, who would not be hurt if they found themselves in such circumstances?

It was embarrassing to admit it, but Jeongin's indifference toward you was often offset by your more "cordial" feelings toward him. Actual motherfucking cordial feelings. In other words, you had harboured a small, tiny, minuscule, microscopic crush on him that even his meanest days could not challenge. So, you've had a crush on Jeongin since you first met him and it has been the dumbest thing you've ever done.

You remember when you first saw him. It was orientation for high school, the first day of the semester. You were a freshman and he was too. However, your appearance alone separated you and him into two distinct social categories. Like the delinquents that were his so-called friends, he wore his uniform messily: tie loose, shirt untucked, sneakers, and messy hair. Everything he did was with an insufferable air of nonchalance and disrespect, almost aggressive in the languid, lazy movements he made. Even his walk reeked of a cockiness that altered the milieu of the room. You couldn't believe how intolerable he was, nor could you believe how your cheeks flushed at the mere sight of him. High cheekbones, a fox-like face, slender build but definitely on the muscular side. God, not to mention he was big. He was tall, at least taller than the other boys in your grade. His height alone made him stick out like a sore thumb, not to mention his clothing. He had immediately caught your eye and it made you sick.

And then there was you: you were just as out of place as he was, but for entirely different reasons. Your hair was proper, your glasses were well polished, and your uniform was always ironed. Of course, the uniform rarely fit properly as you were bigger. The shirt never buttoned right and the skirt was too short in the back, making you feel much more out of place than you would have liked. Other than your rather ill-fitting uniform, your propriety and intelligence made you the odd one out. You contrasted much of the student population in those respects, especially Yang Jeongin.

For lack of a better word, you were a fucking loser. And so was Jeongin. But at least he owned it. Maybe that was what you liked about him, that he knew he wasn't much and didn't have to prove himself through school or other activities. Either that or how fucking attractive his jawline was or his messy hair.

Jeongin and his friends managed to sit somewhat near you during orientation. He couldn't see you from his position, but you could see him. His confident stare, the flirtatious grin he flashed, and the troublesome giddiness in his eyes would normally make you well annoyed. But, with him, it was somehow different, like he wasn't just another stupid boy you couldn't wait to ignore and forget. God. It was like some trope where he was the bad boy and you were some know-it-all who was desperate for some freedom, which he could offer you.

The entire assembly went over your head as your eyes transfixed on the boy who sat in front of you with his giggling gaggle of friends and troublemakers. You swore he thought he was one of the cutest boys you'd ever seen.

That all quickly changed once you got to know him.

You only had two classes with him that year but they were unforgettable due to the sheer torture he put you through. He would tease you, take your notes, copy off of your tests, and sometimes right his name on your homework (and he would still manage to get shitty grades). Needless to say, your fondness for him obviously and quickly diminished.

Yet, you still knew that those feelings hadn't entirely disappeared. They were still there, just somewhere deep down. However, some nights, those feelings were quite shallow and you didn't need to search so deeply to find them, as if you could reach out and touch them with ease. It happened late at night and only in the shroud of darkness. Your head would either be too busy or too slow, as if the overbearing presence of thoughts or their complete absence somehow created a tunnel to your most shameful yet needful desires. Though you wouldn't like to admit it, at these moments you find yourself pining for him. And then you feel those feelings, the ones that you don't really understand but you're too embarrassed to even type the words into the search bar and figure out what's going on so you just deal with them. And then you spend the night lying in your bed, tossing and turning to your memories of Jeongin, wondering what he would be like if he were here with you now. 

Fuck. You need a boyfriend, or to at least get laid.

Yeah. You're inexperienced, but you know the basics. At least, you think you do. When it comes to Jeongin, all logic gets thrown out the window. You often find yourself wondering what you actually want to do with him: to kill him or… God, you couldn’t even think of the filthy things you wanted him to do to you. Maybe it was because you were too embarrassed to think such things, or maybe it was because you truly didn’t know what to think. Despite acing AP biology and understanding how everything physiologically works, your lack of experience has made you rather ill-equipped when it comes to anything romantic or "alleviating" those feelings you have when you think about Jeongin. Either way, your mind was blank when it came to him, especially those feelings that make you toss and turn and pray that weird giddy feeling goes away.

Now, after four years, you can practically taste your liberation from him. However, it's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore his teases. Not only is he becoming more annoying by the second, but it also seems like he is just getting fucking hotter. Especially when he magically starts paying attention in class and you finally have a chance to stare at him uninhibited, as if being free from his constant attention finally gives you a chance to admire him. It looks like you are staring off into space, but really you are studying him. His pretty face, how good he would look if he cleaned himself up a bit more, or even admitting to yourself how good he looks all scruffy. You would study his body, how slender he is, how you want to feed him good desserts, how you think he would be the type of boyfriend to never resist eating his partner's food. Then you would acknowledge how he keeps his nail beds clean. How nice his hands are, overall. How nice they would be to hold. How big they are, how veiny... how that insinuates he is big and veiny in other places. 

...Okay, so you weren't completely out of the dating sphere. You were naive, but you knew how everything worked. However, you also knew that there was more than just strange feelings and vaginal penetration and orgasms and pregnancy and yada yada yada: there was more beyond sex than just sex. But, of course, you never worked up the courage to simply type lewd searches into Google or bother to ask any of your friends about it. Except for the hand thing, which is just that: a hand thing. A thing you have for hands, Jeognin’s hands, and yeah. Just a hand thing. Nothing else. Yeah.

Anyways, you remained—more or less—in the dark about sex. Though you would like to know more, you know that you've only felt certain feelings towards Jeongin, and only him, of all people. For any logical person, it is better to bury those feelings deep inside than let yourself accept that they are awoken by a ghastly man who cares little for you or your well-being.

You'd rather stick to your studies, anyways.

Today, however, was a particularly irritating day. Normally, Jeongin enjoyed following you around, jeering rude chants at you with his friends (your favourite was the classic and unoriginal "Hey four-eyes!" followed by a chorus of giggles), or trying to wrap his arm around you as you walked down the hall. Every time, you brushed him off.  However, Jeongin's irritability was off the charts since he decided that today was the day to dress in a particularly irritating fashion. He had completely disregarded his school uniform altogether. Why did this of all things make you mad, exactly? Because he looked fucking amazing.

Wrinkled white shirt. Loose tie. And sweatpants. Not just any sweatpants, but grey sweatpants. God, it was like he was trying to annoy you. How could he look so good while wearing something so informal? He was borderline infuriating in his presence alone, now you had to cope with how his sweatpants left little to the imagination. Though you wished that someone would put a stop to this reign of terror, you knew that the school administration had completely given up trying to control him at this point. This institution had become Jeongin's domain and you were intended to suffer through it as well as your rage-based attraction to him. Nevertheless, you pushed those feelings below your impermeable layer of school-related anxiety and ignored them. You found this trick especially useful to you when he was your lab partner in chemistry last year. It is an especially useful tool now considering you were seated across from him.

While you tried to keep your eyes focused on the board in front of you and not on the hunk of the man to your left, the task immediately became easier once your teacher announced the first big project of the semester.

"This project will weigh at around 20% of your grade and will replace this module's exam." Sighs of relief passed through the class in waves, the whole class happy to know that they just have to make a powerpoint rather than study all night for a written test that they would likely fail. Peace, however, was momentary.  

"However,” your teacher continued, “since this project is a large amount of work, it will be done in groups of two." You gave a quick smile to your friend and desk partner to your right, who smiled back.

"The groups, however, have been randomly assigned." Your faces both dropped. Actually, everyone stopped smiling. Then, waves of groans moved through the class.

"Stop complaining," the teacher sighed, rubbing her eyes. "To create a conducive learning environment that limits your amount of fun, I randomly assigned each of you to someone in the class who you likely do not talk to. I will post the partners at the end of class and I suggest that you start working on the project ASAP and throughout the weekend because it's due in a week." Another wave of groans rolled through the class and was immediately followed by complaints, questions, exasperated sighs, and a particularly harsh exhale from you. You hated assigned group projects. Due to your reputation, you were usually expected to carry the project along with whoever you were assigned. You never really minded the work as long as you got to choose your partner. Essentially, if the partner was your friend, you would happily and easily do all the work. But now that the teacher has “randomly selected” your partners (she surely just put them through a random assigning program), you felt your blood boil. Jeongin, however, was surely silently rejoicing at the announcement of a group-based project: it meant that he could coast by like he normally did in group projects.

The rest of the class drudged on with great exhaustion. Everyone loathed the prospect of seeing who they were paired up with at the end of it. The worst thing was that it was the Friday of a long weekend. School was meant to be the last thing on anyone's mind until Tuesday came around. You all should have been blessed with the freedom of three days off and whatever it entailed: drinking, parties, staying out late, suspicious excuses given to your guardians, small friend groups loitering at the park at night, getting high then going to the 7/11, and hangovers that you thought were terrible but would seem like small headaches when you're 22 and trying to keep up with college-level drinking. This was what the weekend was for. However, this teacher obviously loved to ruin everyone's time and force them to study and work on this project. 

With the final bell, the teacher headed out first followed by a mass of same-dressed students who were eager to see the possible stranger that they would be paired with. Jeongin left first, keen to leave but also being able to leave easily as he had brought nothing to class. After a few minutes, you and your friend followed behind the crowd, watching the mass of students as they shoved to look at the list of partners on the corkboard. Some sulked away, others jeered as they had been blessed with the partnership of a friend. Jeongin was one of the first to walk away, smiling smugly and playfully shoving his friend as they sat idly by, waiting for their partners to come to them.

After a few minutes of struggle, you and your friend finally made your way to the list.

"Who'd you get?" You ask as she studies the list first.

"That kid that sits behind us," she says.

"Oh, that's good! His name is Seungmin, he’s sweet."

"Yeah, but..." her voice trailed off.

"But... what?" You inquired, her voice making you uneasy. 

"You're gonna... your partner... just, see for yourself." She steps out of the way as your finger traces down the list to find your name.

And there it is. Next to your partners. And, frankly, you can do nothing but slowly turn and look at Jeongin leaning against the lockers behind you.

He gives you a small smile and raises his eyebrows.

"We'll meet at 5 in the library! I'll see you then!" He states with a twisted grin. With those few words said, he and his friend saunter off, leaving you dumbstruck with your friend praying for your well-being beside you.

“Y/n,” she asked with a soft touch to your arm, “are you okay?” You gave a stiff nod as you watched Jeongin walk away. 

God. Those fucking grey sweatpants look so good on him.

---

"You're lucky that you know the librarian well enough that we can be left alone here," Jeongin teased, looking up at the high ceilings and clearly impressed by them. His arms hung low as he carried the stack of books he had slowly accumulated in his arms. Well, you place them in his arms, he just took them because he didn’t really know what to look for or how to study or what this class was even about. 

You guessed by his expression (and from your past four years of being his victim) that Jeonging had probably never even set foot in the library. In fact, he had little to no intention of doing so for his whole high school career. Yet, thanks to you, here he was.

"I don't 'know the librarian,'" you groaned. "I volunteer here. Some of us need extracurriculars on our university applications. I just have the privilege of going here enough that I get an extra key to help lock up." You placed the book you were carrying on the wooden table and Jeonin copied your action, dropping the stack of texts with a sigh.

“In other words,” Jeongin taunted, “you know the librarian well enough to come here after hours”. You shot him a look before turning to the mess of textbooks and binders in front of you.

"We wouldn't be alone after-hours if we had just started immediately after class," you stated angrily as you sorted the books into piles for you and him. "But somebody had to go smoke with his friends outside, so now we've had to come after hours to study."

"Just know that it was a really good smoke break," Jeongin replied with glee as you divided up his and your reading materials, placing the books with a hidden rage that only came from years of bullying or sexual frustration. Or, in your case, a horrid cocktail of both. After you were done, you took a seat on one side of the table and gestured for him to sit opposite you. He got the hint and sat, immediately flipping through his books and shuffling them around, not even trying to look busy. 

"All I know is that we're here, alone, with no one else around and that I could trash this place if I wanted,” he continued with an air of cockiness you wanted to destroy.

At this point, you were really starting to regret everything that has ever happened to you. Sure, having a key to the school's immense library was a bonus of being a diligent student: you knew you could always escape here and it was entrusted in your care. Many times you had retreated to this place in the hopes of peace and quiet from the troubles of school. It was your sanctuary.

Now, an early library closing, a nicotine addiction, and a late study session had forced you to bring him here.

"I know you won't do that,” you shot back, “and I also know that I could just lock you in here if I wanted for the whole weekend.” Your response made his eyes go wide with what seemed to be shock and worry. However, when a smile broke out on his face, you knew that he thought your threats were empty. 

"You're fun!" He cheered. 

"I will lock you in here, Jeongin." You restated in a serious tone which he didn't seem to take as seriously. "Now,” you continued, “get started on studying. We have a lot to do and I have no intention of doing it alone. You need to look through the blue book. Read sections 2 to 4 and take notes on anything related to the assignment. Check the study questions, too: there could be info in the answers that could help us out."

"I hate that you're making me work," he complained in an obnoxious tone that could only be embodied by a teenage boy who had never been put in his place. "Normally I do nothing and the person just lugs me along."

"Well, I'm tired of carrying group projects, so you have to carry your own weight," you sighed. "Now. Start studying."

Jeongin gave you an eye roll before quietly retreating to his book. The silence quickly engulfed the library and you flipped through your book, looking at where to begin and fearing how much you had to tackle. 

Although this was a less-than-ideal situation, it did have its perks. To be honest, you never knew Jeongin could be quiet. It was nice to take quick glances at him while he studied, his face contorted as he analyzed the text and focused on his work. Just these few moments of silence seemed to give you hope. Maybe you could make the best of a bad situation. Maybe you could use this time to make Jeongin shut up for a few seconds and let you study his handsome face before being rudely disrupted by whatever dribble he decided to shoot out. Maybe this partnering was a blessing in disguise.

Your hopes were ruined as the silence was broken.

"God!" Jeongin groaned, leaning far back in his chair. "This is so borringgggggg!" Your annoyance immediately returned to your body. He was hot, but god did he like to pester you.

"Please, Jeongin, read the passages, I beg of you," you groaned as you looked through the books to find out the sections you were meant to study.

"Ughhhh..." he sighed. Suddenly, he loudly arose, chair screeching back as he picked up his books.

"What are you doing?" You asked, annoyed and barely looking up from the books you were still sorting through.

"I'm moving next to you," he responded as he waddled towards you, moving like a child who was purposefully aggravating a parent just for the fun of it. 

"Please, God, tell me why," you groaned.

"Because I'm lost!" He sighed, "I'm gonna sit by you because I hate being this far away and this lost at the same time. You have to help me Y/N if you're gonna make me carry my weight on this project."

As he slid himself and his books beside you, you prayed to every God you knew of—Jesus, Demeter, Allah, YHWH—that you would be vaporized then and there.

There was no escaping this irritation. Normally, you'd parry any advancements Jeongin made. Oftentimes, you would even take a different path home or avoid certain wings of the school altogether just to get away from him. To be clear, Jeongin didn’t actually frighten you. You weren't scared of Jeongin, you were just horribly, dreadfully annoyed with him. 

However, today was not a normal situation. There was no avoiding him: you were stuck with this fucking idiot on a group project with no hope of deflecting his pokes or prods.

"Oh, wait, before you start reading you should fix your glasses. They’re falling." He mumbles, "lemme… lemme just..." he then placed his pointer fingers on the center of your lens and pushed them up, readjusting the frames but dirtying your eyesight in the process. You shot him an angry look as he giggled, hating the smudge on the glass.

"If you must know," you seethed as you wiped your glasses off and placed them beside you, "I never wear them to read and study—two activities I still hope to do, despite your presence."

"Ah!" Jeongin dramatically fell back on his chair and grasped his heart as if he had just been shot straight through it. "Words hurt, y/n! I can't believe you would say such things to me! How dare you suggest I distract you!" He cried with a great fabricated sentiment.

Again, you rolled your eyes at his giggles and flirtatious fucking smile that made him look so damn dreamy that it made you want to punch a wall.

"Jeongin, please let me get back to studying."

"Call me 'Innie,'" he responded coolly.

You let a beat pass as you tried to process what he just said.

"...What?!" You hissed at him. That certainly got your attention.

"Call... me... 'Innie.'" His smile widened and he leaned forward, his face inches from yours and moving closer as he enunciated each syllable with mischief. 

Part of you wanted to push him away. You wanted to leave the library, march straight home, and write a strongly worded email to your teacher telling her that, despite her requirements, you desperately wanted to complete the assignment by yourself.

The other part of yourself, however...

Shamefully, that part wanted him to lean in closer. It enjoyed his playful smile and tone, and thought about how wonderful it was that you two were together, alone, uninterrupted. It thought about all you could do behind closed doors. It thought about things that made you anxious and confused and, frankly, made you want to turn your brain off.

So, you agreed with the former part.

"Jeongin," you stressed, leaning back. "Please go back to studying. I don't have time to play your silly name games." His exaggerated groan to your response almost made you crack a smile. Almost.

"Come onnnnnn, Y/n!" He wailed, voice echoing throughout the archives. "You don't even have to say it in public! Please! Only once!" Suddenly, he leaned in again and his face was now mere centimetres from yours. His voice was hushed and his eyes had a strange look in them, something that was serious and tempting. It seemed like he was trying to be playfully urgent in his words, but his voice made each syllable come across as languid, as if he were edging you on, almost daring you to obey him.

 "Just say it to me. Now, in private,” he pleaded.

Uh oh. That part of your brain that you tried to ignore was coming at you with a vengeance. You hardly noticed that your cheeks were starting to burn. Gathering all control, you tried to put an end to this foolishness. 

"We won't ever be alone together after next week,” you replied calmly. 

"What... what makes you say that?" He asked with a discouraged curiosity.

"Well... I can't imagine you'd want to hang out after this... after all..." you trailed off.

"After all...? What?" He continued, "After all 'I'm the smartest person in the district and intend to graduate top of the class so I don’t have time to hang out and do scumbag shit with my bestie Innie?"

Okay. Maybe Jeongin actually could humour you. After all, that impression is spot on. The blush on your cheeks had cooled now, but you had not noticed: your mind was too busy malfunctioning over the fact that you were smiling at something Yang Jeongin said to you. Jeongin had genuinely brought a smile to your face, and he seemed to notice, too.

"Woah! There's your smile!" Jeongin jeered, "I've been trying to get you to smile for like three or four years! 'Bout time!"

And just like that, your smile had disappeared without a trace. Your facial muscles even relaxed immediately, feeling no lingering strain from the act. How dare a fucking man tell you to smile, and to try and say that he has been wanting you to do so for four fucking years after bullying you for those same four goddamn years?! You felt like your chest would explode.

"What?! Where did it go?!" Jeongin whined, defeated and pouty because of it. "Pleeasseeeeeee smile again, y/n! You look so adorable when you do! I mean, you always do, but your smile! And I know you need your glasses and you look so cute with them, but I can finally see your whole face without them! Come oonnnnnnnnnn! Smileeeeeeee!!!"

Woah. Okay. Those words had sent that stupid, gullible, optimistic part of your brain into a frenzy. However, you clenched your jaw and kept a steady breath. You couldn’t let yourself get carried away as you knew it was all just a game to him. Everything was a game to him.

If Jeongin was telling the truth and that he thought you were “cute” or “always looked adorable”, you would have truly allowed yourself to believe his words. You would have beamed knowing that he thought it was beautiful if you did or didn’t smile, unable to hold back a response to his affection. If he was telling the truth, you were even ready to blush, beg, plead, flirt—whatever it took to keep him talking about how pretty you looked.

Yet, you are a pessimist, through and through.  Before your imagination could run off with the idea that Jeongin’s words were honest and genuine, your heart twined knowing that whatever he was saying was likely far from the truth. What Jeongin said was likely rooted in some foolish, mean-spirited, and twisted way of teasing you. He always did something like this after annoying you: poke the bear then tell it how lovely it looks before it has the chance to chase him down. It was just like those boys in junior high who would yell across the class claiming that “his friend liked you" while the very same friend made disgusted faces. The boys would laugh then, as if the very idea of loving you was a joke. The girls, however, would share a solemn silence, a solidarity only experienced by the victims of female adolescence and the macabre.  A

After all these experiences, you knew two things: boys were assholes and they were bullies. And Jeongin was part of them. 

So, at this moment, you felt dizzy from the sheer humiliation of his words and your  bubbling hatred. You couldn’t believe that Jeongin had the audacity to tease you like this, to say you were pretty when you knew that he had nothing positive to say about you. Saying such sweet things to you with nothing but ill intent behind them made you want to tackle him. Fuck his good looks or his conceited yet insanely attractive attitude. 

So, instead of letting yourself be hopeful and toy with the idea that he may actually be saying a nice thing, you did what you did every time: move past it and try to suppress your anger.

Clearing your throat, you returned to your book.

"Affection and coquetry won't work on me, Jeongin," you stated, eyes burning into the pages to try and ward off the pain in your stomach from his words. 

"Oh, really?" 

God. When will he learn to give up?! He leaned playfully on his hand and swiftly placed his elbow on the table, simultaneously and seamlessly nudging your book out of the way with a coy smile. The act made you huff through your nostrils and dignify his presence with a glare. He didn’t even register the pain his words had caused you. 

"They won't," you respond emotionlessly. All your emotions, however, became quite clear as you pushed your book back to its rightful place and shoved his elbow out of the way in the process, making him hiss from the pain. "And I doubt anything you do to me would count as flirtation."

Jeongin's sour face from the ache in his arm quickly changed to a wide-eyed, agape look. Oh no. The face of mischievous curiosity.

"I take that as a challenge!" He boomed.

"Oh, God, please smite me now," you mumbled, anxiety and rage rising. 

"I just gotta figure out what you like about me and just really capitalize on it," he pondered aloud.

Well. That statement made you scoff.

"I like nothing about you," you dryly stated.

“Oh, come on!” He responds, hoping your words were of off-beat humour rather than born from frankness. Your annoyance was boiling over, unable to contain it.

“No, it’s true,” you stated with malice. “You tease me about my looks and try to make me feel pretty just to tear me down. It’s honestly sickening and, frankly, after four years, it’s kind of unoriginal, Jeongin.”

“Y/n, what?”

There was no humour in your voice in the next words you spoke, no inkling that what you said could be taken lightly. You had let yourself speak freely and felt the burn of horrid words as they dripped from your tongue. 

 “In fact, I would say I’d rather hate you. Extremely so.” 

Silence engulfed the room. Not even the squeak of the chair as Jeongin shifted could be heard. You glanced up at the boy beside you. Jeongin was still and silent: two things he never was.

"...What?" you asked, your words met with no response but the cold echoes of the library. 

“Y/n, how could you say that?” His voice almost cracked as he asked the question. You glanced up at him and caught his eyes. They were glassy, empty.

Oh no.

Oh no... that dreadful empathy inside of you made your heart ache and your stomach churn. How could you feel so horrible after saying one mean thing when he's been nothing but disrespectful to you for four years?!

"I, umm... I—I mean" you tried to defend yourself without seeming like an asshole, which was becoming increasingly difficult as your mind raced to fill the space. However, you realized you had nothing positive to say at all. “Ah, fuck it,” you whispered under your breath. “Jeongin, be serious. Why would I like anything about you when you are nothing but mean to me?"

"Mean to you?!" He spat back, breaking from his hurt trance and turning to anger, simultaneously exacerbating your rage. "When have I ever—!" 

"You've been mean since the moment we met!” You shot back, “"You taunt me, tease me, and even follow me when we run into each other. It is hard enough dealing with academic stress, then I'm paired with the bully that makes my life a living hell and—"

"Bully?" He repeated with some distaste in his mouth and a saddened look on his face. "Is that what I am to you!?"

"What else would I call someone who's followed me every day for four years and has done nothing but jeer at me with his friends?! It is hard enough wanting to please everyone and excelling at school despite what I tell myself. But then I get some guy harassing me every day like it's his fucking day job. What else would I call him if not a 'bully'?! What, Jeongin, what?!"

The library walls repelled your voices again and let its old age absorb the hateful things you spat at each other. Slowly, the sound waves dissipated and silence consumed the wooden room. As the quiet settled, Jeongin let a beat pass, nothing to be said as he, too, let your words sink in.

"I... I just wanted..." His voice was hard, stern at first. Then, he sighed, cleared his throat and darted his eyes away, tone changing to a nervous and humble one. "I just… I'm sorry, y/n. Please know that, okay? I never meant for it to be like that or to go this far or even in this direction. Please know that."

The library had never seemed so unsettling to you until this moment.

Your mind dissected his words, prodding them and pulling them apart and trying to find if he was being malicious. Strangely enough, his words seemed... genuine. 

Great. This meant two things: 1) that he was genuinely sorry after bullying you for four years, and 2) that, if you wanted to be the bigger person, you had to accept it. Worst of all, your brain came up with the perfect way to accept his apology and also humble yourself, and you really hated how perfect it was and how humiliating it would be. Sometimes, your really fucking hated how your brain worked.

"Innie,” you said softly, “Thank you.” 

Jeongin's eyes went wide, so wide you swore they would pop out. The gasp that followed made you believe that he would consume all the air in the room. 

"Say—say it again!" He stammered out excitedly.

"No," you replied as you cracked a small smile. "Take it as a peace offering. I, the person who spoke so ill of you, am extending an olive branch to you, the man who has wronged me."

"I understand so little of that metaphor but just know that I'm happy," he smiled. You rolled your eyes at his idiocy and smiled.

However, before you could conclude the discussion and finally, finally, finally, return to your book, Jeongin raised his hand in a half heart.

Hand. Jeongin's hand.

"What... what are you doing?" You mumbled out, studying his digits.

Pretty, big hand.

Fuck. Not these thoughts. Not now.

"C'mon, y/n! I'm making a heart for you to finish! As a peace offering or a tree branch or whatever you want to call it! Like this, yeah?" He demonstrated by making the shape with both hands, making a complete heart and showing it to you with a boyish grin.

Big, soft, veiny hands.

"Uh, y-yeah, Jeongin," your hand was shaking as you raised it to his own. Fuck, they were even bigger in comparison to yours. 

Hands. Hold. Touch. Big and veiny and... big...God, what well is big?

That fucking part of your mind needs to shut the fuck up before you lobotomize yourself with a #2 pencil. Luckily Jeongin’s giggles as your hands briefly met to form a heart between the two of you snapped you away from such thoughts.

"Guess we're friends now, huh?" You muttered, trying to distract your perverted inner monologue.

"Aw, y/n!!!" He boyishly cheered. His impish smile was contrasted by his low chuckle. However, your own joy was challenged when Jeongin quickly interlaced your fingers in his.

Oh no. 

My tiny hand in his.

"Wait, your hands are so small!"

So big... so big compared to me... so soft, so warm...

"Y-yeah, I've heard that before."

"They’re so adorable! My hands look so big compared to yours, yeah?" His other hand lightly traced your wrist before grabbing it and forcing you to spread your fingers to compare hand sizes.

So, so big. Could barely wrap my hand around him. Could barely wrap my hand around his—

“Wow you’re right,” you responded nervously. 

You started to feel that strange feeling, the one you only experienced in solitude in the dead of night, not sitting across from a man who may or may not be your bully anymore and is using you like a plaything. God, why did that thought make these feelings even stronger? You crossed your legs and hoped to squash the voice in your head.

"Like woah! I knew my hands were big but this is crazy!"

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it—

"Do you have anything else that’s big that I should know about?"

...oh fuck.

This library has gone through too many auditory extremes today. You know that this has got to be the loudest goddamn silence you have ever or will ever experience in your life. Both of your eyes were wide, your stare locked in with his as you sat engulfed in shock.

For the first time today, you felt just how hot your face was.

It felt like an eternity was passing within these seconds of horrifying, dreadful awkwardness. You prayed that once you would finally blink that he just be gone. Sadly, he still sat there, face unchanging and unforgiving.

His hands still held your own.

Breaking the silence, he let out the driest of coughs.

"Well, it's—"

"I-I'm sorry," you stuttered out. "I didn't mean to—"

"It's—It's no worries, truly," he stammered over. The silence came again, but less horrendous this time. Or maybe it was worse, you couldn't decide. All you noticed was the fact that his hand still hadn't left yours. 

Jeongin decided to speak again, quieter this time. His eyes were wide, but glancing around frantically, trying to search for the right words. A harsh blush was forming down his ears and hard turned his honeyed skin into a scarlet red. You were strangely comforted knowing that he was just as mortified as you.

"I-It's wrong you know." He hesitated to continue. You, however, were all ears.

"Jeongin," you said slowly, "whatever do you mean?" He sighed, embarrassment consuming him.

"My friends looked it up and... apparently nose length is a more accurate measure.... but... you know..." Though you were fascinated to learn about this new little tidbit of info and that Jeongin actually knew something, you were way too focused on what he wanted to say.

"But what?" you asked in a small voice. His palm was sweating against yours as heat radiated from him.

"Well, just that.. you know... it's not like a rule. There are exceptions. It's just like a theory, yeah?" You nodded, glad to understand what he meant by that. Yet, you swore, that as he finally dropped his hand, exposing your skin to the bitter air of the dusty library, Jeongin uttered a brief  "I should know." Though you wanted to poke and prod, you opted to just nod and turned with him towards the table, staring at the stack of unread books. 

“Anyways…” you said, breaking the silence, “let’s get started.” Still, you couldn't help but sneak quick looks at Jeongin's face, trying to decide whether or not his nose was longer or shorter than average.

This had to be your least productive and positively worst study session ever. 

"What section do I have to read again?" Jeongin asked.

Oh, thank God he said that. You much preferred harassing him about not paying attention than whatever the hell you just experienced.

"I told you," you sighed, flipping open his book and pointing at the contents. "These sections! 2 to 4! Please! Start!"

"But what if I get borreedddddd?" Jeongin groaned. There he was! There’s the annoying Jeongin you know. "I can barely see what you pointed at anyways! Can’t you just help me out?"

"Ohmygod," you muttered, tired but willing to do anything if it meant he shut up and study. "If I were to help you for a bit, do you swear to properly study and leave me alone after?"

"Pinky promise!" He smiled gleefully and stuck out his extended, large pinky finger. After staring blankly at the digit, you linked your smaller pinky around his and slung your head in defeat.

"Okay," you muttered. "Let's begin."

For a bit, this plan worked perfectly. After only 20 minutes, you read through section 2 together and helped point out the more important parts of the text. The 20 minutes were difficult, however. Being this close to him, being able to smell his cologne—which was nice and smelled expensive, contrasting his scruffiness—and brushed shoulders with him was almost too much. Wow. You really were touched starved. Nevertheless, your own lameness was virtually undetectable to you. You were more focused on how well Jeongin retained the information and how neat his words were. You guessed that his utter stupidity was most likely due to his inability to focus, which was still a struggle even as you helped him. Nevertheless, as you began section 3 and were about to return to your own work, you knew that he had already come a long—

"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DOING THIS?" Jeongin cried.

Ah. There he is.

"Just a little more, Jeongin, okay? Please, just be bearable. I have my own work to do," you whined, stomping your feet from exhaustion. Even when he was trying to be polite, he still knew how to get on every one of your nerves.

"Can you please just keep helping me? Just this section and then I swear you can get back to your work?" He pouted. Was... was giving you puppy dog eyes?

You sighed. Again, defeated.

"Yeah, sure," you replied, "let's start here—"

"Y/n?" He interrupted. You rolled your eyes.

"Yes?" He let your snark reply hang before smirking.

"Come closer," he nudged playfully with a smile you would almost consider flirtatious if you hadn't been constantly reminded about his disobedient behaviour for the past hour.

"Why?" You asked genuinely.

"You're squinting! You said don't read with your glasses on but it's straining your eyes! Just..." he thought for a moment, glancing around. "Ugh, whatever! Here—"

Unexpectedly, his hands found their way around your body, slinking under your legs and around your back, sliding under your thighs and brushing the exposed skin.

"Jeongin! I can just put my glasses on—" you blabbered out nervously as he continued to lift you.

"Just come here, fuck!" He shot back, finally raising you from your chair and sliding you onto his lap.

"Jeongin!" You yelped.

Normally, anytime someone picked you up made you want to scream. This, however, this made you want to die.

As if by some magical swiftness, you had now found yourself sitting on Jeongin. Well, not on him. Just between his legs. His long legs were spread out, your thick thighs barely fitting onto the chair as he caged you. And he hadn't remembered to tuck your skirt in when you sat down, so now it splayed open. It had ridden up, exposing everything but your white cotton panties, and was surely flipped onto Jeongin's pants at the back. You just prayed he couldn't see anything. However, he probably couldn't considering how close he was. Worst of all, he kept you close by resting his hands on your hips, making sure you sat still. The pads of his long fingers held your tummy softly, dipping into the fat as his thumbs rubbed slowly up your lower back.

You swore you had never felt so warm in your life. As you broke out in a sweat, you feared that his wolfishly big hands were paired with a keen sense of smell.

"There!" He giggled, resting his chin on your shoulder and leaning his head against yours, studying the book with intentness that starkly contrasted the intimacy of how he held you. "Now you can see well!"

You opened and closed your mouth a few times trying to find something to say. Though his completely nonchalant demeanour was to be expected, you were still shocked but the literal position you were in. Not to mention the way his thumbs slowly drew circles on you while his hands shifted to hold your stomach. Your stomach for godsakes. How does he know exactly where to hold you to make you feel so secure and so goddamn embarrassed at the same time?! You pressed your thighs tightly together, trying to smother the weird feeling building between them that you tried so desperately to avoid. While you squished them your legs, your thighs were simultaneously crushed on either side by Jeongin's own, which were incredibly muscular: a feature you had never noticed until you were stuck between them.

"How..." you asked, "How did you do that? Aren't I heavy?"

"Am I complaining?" He asked back, a smirk in his voice. He wrapped his arms around your waist now, tugging you closer and pressing his chest fully into your back. "If you were ‘too heavy’, you wouldn't be sitting here right now, hm?”

"I-I suppose..." You start, not knowing what to say next.

"Now," he sighed with an air of exaggerated contentment, "if you want to finish this project sOooOOoo bad, then help me study!" God, how could he have you in the palm of his hand— literally— and still manage to pester you?!

"O-okay," you stuttered unsurely. "Well, let's start here and—"

"Mhm," Jeongin hummed, still massaging your fupa lightly and pressing his chest firmly against your back. You tried to burn a hole into the bookk—a feeble attempt at trying to distract yourself.

"A-as you can see," you coughed, "this section is more about analyzing the um..."—one of his hands started to rub lower—"the events t-talked about in the previous section a-and"—the other starts moving up, ghosting over your chest and playing with the top button of your shirt, leaving your tie untouched despite how you desperately wanted to loosen it—"t-trying to c-contextualize the previous section and… p-provide some background and… umm…."

"Gosh, y/n," Jeongin chuckled as his fingers rubbed the column of buttons, "I thought you were such a good student, but you seem so distracted. It's funny really."

Maybe he’s just distracted, you tell yourself, trying to reason what in the hell was going on. After all, he can barely sit still in class and often toyed with loose hems or drew on the margins of his papers. Therefore, it was perfectly reasonable to assume that he was just doing the same now: toying with your uniform as a means of distraction. He always played with you anyways, so it was safe to assume that it was some attention deficit that caused him to trifle with you. That's all it was. Or, at least, you prayed that would be the truth. As his hand fiddled with your skirt’s hemline and the other began loosening your tie, you were just hoping that this was all some absent-minded game for him. If that were the truth, then hopefully this dreadful pressure from between your thighs would disappear. It was building with every second and your panties were now so tight, so straggling, and so wet, latching onto your folds and aiding in your growing shyness.

"J-Jeongin," you began, "c-can you—"

"Innie, please, y/n," he teased in a low voice against your ear. "To you, it's Innie." Though you wanted to scream at him for uttering that petname again, you decided to push your pride aside. You needed him to stop, and you needed to utilize every tool in your arsenal to do so.

"I-innie," you stuttered out, shivering from the warmth that lingered on your ear from his breathy voice. "Can you please stop... you know... t-touching me?"

Again, Jeongin laughed. But, this time, it was drier, with less playfulness behind it and less mercy.

"Aw, y/n," he whispered into your ear, causing you to squirm a little, "I thought we were just having fun. Are you really getting all worked up over a few little touches? I thought you would like it more, you know, considering it's my big hands doing it." His last words were strongly enunciated by his hand tugging on your tie to gain access to your collar buttons. He started to play with them as you huffed, undoing them teasingly.

You were fuming at his words, knowing that: 1) he was just doing this because—at his core—Jeongin was just a fucking asshole, and 2) he was, sadly, correct. Still, you were determined to not let him know that he was right. Knowing him in the way you do, you couldn't let him take this victory

"I-is that really what this is about? Are you really hanging on to that! I had a lapse of judgment f-for one second and—" another button was undone and he began working on the next. After this next button, your bra chest would be exposed. It was only covered by an ill-fitting bra and you silently cursed your frugal self for not investing in better undergarments. Still, you continued. You had to. "I-I just fucking hate that you'd bring it up again! You just love to make fun of me d-don't you?! God, Jeongin, it is so typical of you to t-tease me like this and—Ah!" 

The sound of clattering buttons across mahogany and the sudden exposure to air frightened you. Jeongin, however, didn't seem to mind.

"I told you," he stated in a voice you had never heard him use before. "It's 'Innie'. Yes?"

Clearly, he had gotten sick and tired of you talking. He just wanted you to finally be quiet, much like how you wanted him to do the same. To accomplish this, his hands found the opening of your shirt and ripped the fabric open, scattering the last of your buttons, ruffling your shirt, and exposing your chest to him. In exposing you, Jeongin gained the upper hand. It was obvious that all pride, all power you had disappeared. However, his action had also done something else: the sensation you tried so desperately to conceal was making you hopelessly needy. You unconsciously began to twist your hips, rubbing your thighs together in hopes of eliminating the feeling.

The book in front of you was long forgotten.

"Yes..." you replied back in a small voice. "Yes, Innie. S-sorry." You could almost feel Jeongin smile behind you, but, if you truly could, you didn't notice due to his hands returning to their place on your collarbone and stomach. His fingers now languidly traced your clavicle while the other massaged your tummy, fingertips slowly digging into your skirt and pulling out the parts of your shirt that were still tucked in. 

"What a good baby," he chuckled, paying no mind to the nickname, though it made you redder than blood. "So fucking horny and no way to ask it. Such a fucking pervert. I bet you wanted this, didn’t you? You're even rutting back into me. Trying to get me worked up, hm?"

"No," you gasped with deep embarrassment, "never!"

"Tut tut, y/n," he tsked. "I know you're up to something."

"If anyone is up to something, it's you!" You protested. Your exclamations only made Jeongin laugh.

"Now, now," he giggled, "you wouldn't want anyone—say, a janitor or a lingering teacher—to hear us and come in? Wouldn't it be bad to see their star pupil being fondled by the school delinquent? Wouldn’t it be bad for them to notice that you liked it?"

Fuck. He knew how to shut you up. You turned your head to catch his gaze, shame and that peculiar feeling spreading all over your body into a delightful mix that only exacerbated your guilt. He knew he had you.

"That's what I thought," he laughed. "Now—"

Quickly, his hands moved toward your chest, dragged your bra down, and began to pinch your nipples, massaging your breasts and causing you to moan. Your hips increased their shallow rolls in an attempt to alleviate the pain. As you did, you felt what you could only suspect to be Jeongin's growing erection pressing into your ass. He definitely hiked up your skirt sometime before and was enjoying the sight of his clothed cock rubbing against your panty-clad behind.

"Innie! W-what are you—?"

"Oh, baby," he laughed and he rolled your buds between his fingers, making you whimper, "You say I'm distracting you from studying, but now your acting like such a little slut from only a few touches. You're so sensitive. I swear, you could be a virgin, hm?"

You dared not respond, only offering him a shy look as he continued to rub your chest.

"Oh," he giggled, "oh, of course you are. My sweet little goody-two-shoes hasn't had anyone touch her pussy yet, hm? My little virgin baby, yeah?"

"P-pussy?" you repeated, knowing that the word was dirty from the way it left a delictable taste in your mouth.

Jeongin mused, "My my, you are inexperienced." He let out a laugh that brought tears to your eyes, though it wouldn't be the first time he had made you cry. You were so frustrated and felt so strange and your panties were so wet and surely see-through and fuck! While your mind raged. Jeongin let one of his hands slip down your body and down your stomach, moving his other hand to grope the tit it had abandoned.

"Your pussy," Jeongin continued, ignoring your squirms and internal war, "is this right here."

Everything clicked as his fingers rubbed the damp white cotton into your pussy, rubbing up and down your folds with his middle and ring finger, slowly stopping to rub your clit and make your head spin. You glanced down, noticing how large his digits were and wondered how much he could stuff inside of you.

"Such an innocent fuck toy, never been used," he rambled, tongue licking the conch of your ear and making you whimper.

"J-Jeongin—I mean, Innie," you corrected. You could tell he was pleased by the way he hummed into your ears while he nibbled on the lobe, an action that should not make you want to moan as much as it should. "P-please stop touching me, it isn't appropriate.”

"But I thought I was helping you study, y/n," he pouted in a pouty tone, fingers never ceasing their motions. "Isn't this keeping me distracted? Isn't this helping you study? I need something to fiddle with, and you’re the perfect fucking stress toy for me." A particularly harsh rub into your panties and a tight grasp on your chest made you yelp. "Aren't you liking this, y/n? Liking me touching your soaking cunt? Fuck, you even soaked through your panties, how pathetic. " He spoke humorously through gritted teeth. He returned to slowly groping you, kissing down your neck loudly and rubbing his erection into your backside. You felt like you were going to explode. 

"You are, aren’t you?" he panted as he rocked back and forth into you, drooling down your neck. "I thought you were a better student than this. I thought you were such a good girl who was put off by teasing. What did you call me again? A bully?" He said the word with joking vehemence; teasingly but backed by a viciousness that made you crumble. "Would a bully do nothing but defend you for four years? Would a bully beat up any fucking nerd who insulted your intelligence? Would a bully praise you and call you pretty only to be given the cold shoulder just ‘cause you didn’t believe it? Fuck, I wonder what the school board would think if they saw you like this, being fondled by a fucking bully." His words turned to mush in your head, your brain frenzying at his confession and his touches. 

"Jeongin, please, I didn’t know! P-please, I just thought you didn’t l-like me, Jeongin. I thought you were m-mean and—ah!"

Your pleas were cut short as Jeongin stood up and shoved you forward, bending you over the table as his chair loudly scraped. He ripped—literally, ripped off your shirt at the seams, the sound filling the room along with your cries, with your bra being pulled off next. You were left in nothing but your shirt and tie: Jeongin wanted you to be at least a little dressed up for him when he claimed you. He grabbed your hair by the root and pulled your head up, making you release a sound that was a mixture of a cry and moan. The pain was unbearable, but the suffering mostly came from the absence of Jeongin's hands on you. At this point, you had realized that this feeling was some disgusting, perverted form of horniness directed at a man you hated. It made you feel dirty and desperate. But, most importantly, it made you feel in dire need of relief.

"I told you, y/n," Jeongin growled in that angry voice which didn't suit your impression of him, "that isn't my name." He released your hair and let your head fall to the table.

"I'm—I'm sorry," you begged as he moved the discarded books out from under you and threw them off the table. "P-please don't do anything mean!"

Funny. It was really funny to see you beg for him. It made him chuckle dryly before he hung himself over your back, once again pressing his chest into you—which you could feel was bare, meaning he must’ve removed it in the midst of things, leaving him in only his sweats.

"Oh, my innocent little baby," Jeongin panted into your ear, "you will be sorry." Jeongin's playful and perverted voice was matched by his hands slowly tugging down your panties, an action that caused you to chant a mantra of "no's" as your pussy was exposed to the cold air. Eventually, he had gotten impatient and tore the fabric up, an act that made tears fall from your eyes.

"Aw, don't worry, y/n," Jeongin humoured after seeing your lip tremble when he returned on top of you, caging you in and rubbing his clothed cock into your exposed cunt. "I'll take such good care of you after you learn a little lesson, yeah? Don't you just love to learn knew things, you fucking inexperienced little know-it-all?" You squirmed under him, begging for more and praying that he would give it to you. Yet, it seemed that patience offered itself to Jeongin when it pleased, and now he seemed to have all the time in the world.

Slowly, he rose his body from yours and rested his hands on your ass, rubbing the flimsy skirt and toying with your fat.

"Such a dumb fucking little virgin," he groaned as he let your pussy dampen the front of his sweats, pressing his throbbing dick into your needy cunt and making you whine. "Needs to learn a lesson."

Swiftly, his hand pulled away and slapped your ass.

"Innie!" You cried from the feeling, tears continuing to fall as his hand reached up and spanked you again, filling the library with lewd sounds to accompany your moans and his grunts.

"Say my fucking name again," he whispered with venom as he continued to spank you, enjoying how your ass reddened with each hit.

"Innie, Innie! Please stop!" You sobbed, making him laugh.

"Just—a few—more," he stated, marking every few words with a repeated spank. His other hand toyed with your ass, enjoying the softness and how your untouched flesh contrasted the growing blush on the other cheek.

"Y-yes—fuck! Yes, Innie!" You whimpered.

"God, such a fast learner," he grunted, continuing. "Aren't I helping you study, now? What if I helped you study every day, yeah? Licked your little cunt every time you got an answer right and then spanked you when you get one wrong? Maybe that'll help with your studying. Do you want a study buddy, y/n? Hm? Do you?"

"Yes, fuck I do!" You sniffled in defeat. "Only Innie, only Innie can teach me. Please!"

Finally, after a loud and particularly harsh spank from Jeongin accompanied by a satisfied grunt, he decided that your study session was over. He settled his large hand on your ass and rubbed the scarlet skin to try and coax you back down. Your back rose and fell while your knees buckled from the torture he had just put you through. You let out a sharp hiss and every time Jeongin's hand lovingly fondled the abused flesh. Jeongin, however, was beyond elated and relished your pain. In another demonstration of his strength, he flipped your body over like a ragdoll and pushed you onto the table so your legs hung over the edge. He then slotted himself between his legs and greeted your puffy face with a broad grin.

"Such a good little student for Innie," he teased. Pushing into you further, he let his cock press against your soaking cunt and further drench his sweatpants in your juices. The warmth of your bares chests pressing together made you smile while the squish of your breasts made Jeongin rejoice in being able to indulge in the plumpness of your body. He placed a layer of kisses from your forehead down your face, licking away your tears and shushing your sniffles.

"Did I do good?" You sniffled. Jeongin held his body over yours, blocking the light above with his broad, bare shoulders. He looked down at you with a mixture of emotions behind his eyes which were hard to discern, but were surely good-natured, regardless of his previous actions.

"Of course, y/n," he hummed, "so good." He let his hands roam up and down your bare thighs to reassure you, coaxing a smile out of you.

"Really?" You asked with a lightness you didn't expect as you reached up to cradle his face

"Absolutely," he chuckled while only moving to lay his hand over yours. He leaned down again and resumed his trail of kisses down your neck towards your chest. Your hands helped pull him down to you. You played with his thick locks before trailing your fingers down his back muscles. 

"Such—a—smart—and—pretty—girl,” Jeongin cooed between every kiss to your chest. Each kiss between his words only increased your sense of pride and the neediness between your legs. The feelings only worsened when Jeongin finally attached his mouth to your nipple while he groped the other, suckling on you with a ferocity you didn't expect.

"F-fuck," you mewled as spit trickled down your chest.

"Are you ready to continue our lesson?" Jeongin asked while moving to suck on your other breast. 

"Yes, Innie" you purred as you arched your back to meet his mouth. “Always ready for you.”

He chuckled and continued to satisfy you a bit longer, caught up in your moans and almost forgetting the pain of his erection as it desperately kneaded your cunt. Despite your small protests, he finally pulled himself away. Smiling at your pouty expression, he sauntered backward and stared at your limp body before speaking. 

"Stand up."

It was embarrassing how fast you rose to the ground. You were only focused on following his orders, obeying him, needing more and fearing that you would get nothing if you were disobedient. You barely even noticed how naked you were until you felt the cool air meet your spit-covered tits. Yet, when you moved to cover yourself, you stopped when Jeongin gave a look that said “I am not afraid to bend you over my lap and spank you again.” He smiled when you let your arms drop to your sides.

"She's such a good girl," he muttered aloud, reaching out to pull you forward by your tie. Your eyes were only on him and his sweat-covered chest and dishevelled hair and raw lips that kissed your body so perfectly.

He let his thumb slide up your jaw as he tugged you to him, hand sliding up your cheek and holding your face before tilting your head up. Then, as if the punishment didn’t happen, as if this annoying study session didn’t happen, as if these past four years were just a fever dream that you had finally awakened from, he leaned down and captured your lips in his. He kissed you—truly kissed you—for the first time, but, surely, hopefully not the last time.

When he finally broke away, he studied your soft eyes and offered a small kiss to your forehead, as if he were sealing you as his and promising that "Yes, I am sorry for the way things were. I'm sorry that what began as meaningless teasing just for fun turned into a fucked up crush. I am sorry that I haven't told you until now. I'm sorry that I'm such a fucking perverted loser that I couldn't just tell the beautiful girl that I had a crush on for four years that I liked her. I'm sorry that it took four years just to kiss you. I’m sorry I kissed you under such circumstances. Just know that I want you. I want you, so deeply and so passionately, so please just drop to your knees and fucking suck my cock and let me kiss you and fuck you and hold you and let me be yours and you mine." Instead of speaking the words he wished, he simply changed his stare and licked his lips, catching the lingering taste of you on them.

"Wanna learn something new?" He asked rhetorically, thumb gliding on your lower lip. You didn't even respond to him. Not a nod or a hum. You simply just allowed your mouth to open and have his thumb slip in, immediately rubbing the digit with your tongue and soaking it in spit. You didn’t want to respond or even acknowledge the act, not when you waited four goddamn years to suck his fingers. 

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" Jeongin mused. "I think you can assume what I want you to do." In response, you just gave your head a slight shake, still warming his thumb with your tongue.

"Really?" He asked in a mocking voice that made you wildly embarrassed and red. "You really are just a dumb little toy waiting to be used. Such an eager baby that wants to learn, yeah?" This time, you gave him a slight nod. Your hand traced his abs and stroked each line, unsure of what to do but unable to remain still.

"Okay then. Guess I’ll have to give my baby step-by-step instructions, yeah?" he sighed. "Get on your knees."

Needless to say, you were shocked by the request. Though you were glass-eyed at this moment and almost choking on just the length of his thumb alone, you still had a working mind; one that was not distracted by Jeongin's eagerness pressing into your lower abdomen or how he looked at you or how much he wanted you or how fucking good his chest felt or how he shivered when your hand traced over his nipples. Despite all of this, you still had a conscience, and it told you to leave. It told you that this was an embarrassing turn of events that could only end badly and that you should run away, leaving him with his cock still hard and unsatisfied, then report him to the principal for bullying or public indecency or something! You knew that you should go.

Instead, you simply sank to your knees. You still suckled on Jeongin's thumb while he shakily exhaled a chorus of "you're such a good girl, such a good student, so smart, so sweet, so soft". Your hands trickled down his abs before rubbing the soft fabric of his sweatpants that you wanted so desperately to be removed. They hung off him proudly and lowly, kept up only by a measly tied knot and displaying his adonis belt that drew your eye line downwards. When you finally settled on your knees, your fingers and eyes traced down these lines and fiddled with the top of his sweatpants. Your fingers then traced lower until your hand palmed his heavy erection, unsure of what to do as you massaged the length. He was so stiff and long and big and—

Oh. He was big. Even in your inexperience, you knew it. It must have been a good few inches above average. You gulped at his size, in awe of his length that he was done so well to hide. 

"Remember what you said earlier?" He asked, removing his thumb from your pop mouth so he could cup your jaw. He tried to tilt your head up, but it was too difficult with your eyes fixated on the heavy, large bulge that protruded from his pants.

"C'mon baby, remember what you said? Use your big girl memory and tell me," he cooed. Your hands rubbed up and down his thighs while your hips rutted against nothing, the pressure between them building exponentially due to neglect. He tilted your head again, meeting your big doe eyes and forcing your focus away from his strained hard-on.

"Innie," you choked out, fingers teasing the hem of his pants. "Hands... so big... so you must be..." He let you trail off and allowed your faze to return to his pants as they transfixed on the prominent outline of his cock and the stain on the fabric right at his tip.

"That stupid fucking theory about noses being indicators of size," he continued with a smile on his face, "is just that: a stupid fucking theory."

As if answering your prayers, he used his spare hand to slip the knot off. Then, with a small tug, he slowly lowered his pants enough, just enough to let his cock slip out. In turn, you were blessed with the picture-perfect image of his cock.

"Don't I prove that what you say about big hands is true, y/n?"

You just gave him a dumb nod, too needy to formulate proper words. However, he didn't need you to speak: he knew he was correct.

You always had a thing for his hands, but they were nothing compared to his cock. But together, when his large hands held his immaculately big, veiny, pulsing dick made your mouth water and dribble fall down your lips. His tip was red and leaking precum, begging to be touched or fucked or given some goddamn attention. He offered himself a few pumps, hissing as his heavy erection dripped fluids that you tried to catch desperately on your tongue. It wasn't enough. You needed more.

"Innie," you mewled, catching his attention. 

"Y/n," he gasped as he stared down at your teary-eyed expression that was so cute and obviously needed to be rewarded.

"Please," you mumbled with embarrassment, "teach me." Your hand then went overtop of his and tightened around it, subsequently tightening the grip on his dick and making him moan a little louder than what he was comfortable with.

"Y/n, f-fuck," he whimpered as he pinched his eyes. With your eyes still transfixed on his hot tip, you pulled his hand off his cock and allowed both of your hands to hold him, heat radiating off of his length and precum coating your hands until they were glossy. You pumped it slowly, just as he did, mimicking the motion and unknowingly teasing him more than he would like.

"B-baby, please just suck it," he panted. You glanced up at him again and felt the drool pooling out of your mouth and collecting on your tongue. Then, with great hesitation, you pressed your tongue against him and licked up his slit, causing Jeongin to release a shaky grown that was soaked in pleasure.

"J-just like that—fuck!"

Your hands kept a steady pace while stuck your tongue out, giving him persistent and repeated licks. Each time you re-coated his cockhead in slobber and coaxed more profanities out of him. Still, you maintained a steady pace and dared not to increase your speed. You wanted to hear him beg and cry and whine like this forever.

"Fuck, y/n, take more of it in your mouth," he begged as his hands rested on your head and tangled in your hair. Yet, due to your dumb state and how good he sounded, you struggled to obey him

"Oh, right," he panted out, "you need to be shown how to do everything. My baby is just a little dumb student who needs to be taught. She needs to learn how to suck Innie’s cock like a good girl, right Y/n?" You simply hummed in response, continuing to pump and milk him. Jeognin’s hand found stability on the back of your head and balled your hair once again. The pull made you moan and the strain burned just as delectable as it did before.

"Now, open your mouth wide," he chuckled. You obeyed him like the dumb fucking slut you were and allowed your jaw to go slack, still rubbing your tongue on the underside of his tip and making him swallow back a moan.

"Good," he praised in a strained voice. "Now, take it." Suddenly, he pushed your head forward and forced your mouth to take his cock, gagging on his girth and soaking him in warmth. The intrusion made you hum loudly and for you to tighten your grip on his pulsing length Jeongin, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to your teary-eyed gags and continued to shove himself into you, inch by inch.

"G-good job," he whimpered in a low voice that he hoped he couldn't hear, "so warm." Though you could barely breathe and your mind was shocked by the act, you still felt yourself dripping onto the hardwood floor below you. Despite your confusion, your tongue and hands seemed to know what to do. As you gagged on him, the wet muscle rubbed up and down on any part of his cock it could reach while your hands pumped what your throat couldn't take.

"J-just like that," Jeongin hummed. He pulled your head back then and allowed you to take a deep breath in before pushing you down again. Shallow thrusts allowed him to push deeper into you and fluids to leak from your mouth onto the floor below you. Lewd, wet sound accompanied your gags, making Jeongin beyond elated.

"Y-You're the best student, y/n," he hoarsely whispered. "So smart and you've learned to let me fuck your mouth so easily. Such a fast learner, such a g-good, good girl for her Innie, yeah?" You could do little but hum along.

"Aw, does my baby want to breathe?" He asks through pants, to which you replied with an eager hum. He pulled you off his cock and you immediately gasped for air, hands leaving him to wipe the drool off your face and dry your tears.

"Better?" He asked, a mixture of sincerity and domineering sadism coating his voice.

"Y-yes, Innie," you responded feebly. He smiled at your answer.

"Good." He then changed his expression to a stern look and released your hair, letting you settle on your knees and take a few deep breaths.

"Next step," he began as he lifted his cock up and harshly grabbed your wrist to hold it up yourself. After placing the heavy cock in your hand, Jeongin then grabbed the other hand and forced you to cup his balls, unchanging in his expression or demeanour. He stared into you and you stared into him. He tutted and cooed at your expression which eagerly awaited instruction, begging to know what to do.

"Suck them. Now."

The order was processed in your head and left you spinning. Yet, you immediately obliged. After all, you didn't want to disappoint Jeongin. He thought you were a fast learner and he wanted to train his stupid slut as best he could. If you wanted him to be proud of you, then you had to prove him right. As such, your tongue left quick kitten licks his balls and the underside of his cock. Jeongin, through whines and moans, began to pet your head and encouraged you, s if he was begging instead of trying to dominate you.

"N-now," he stuttered out, "Pump me, fuck my cock with your hand, y/n." Your hand picked up a fast pace that glided over his slick cock and only deepened the desperation in Jeongin's voice.

"Shit.” He gaped at how well you did it, how well you obeyed him. You even began to take control, going back to suck his tip while your hands fondled the parts your mouth couldn't satisfy.

"M-missed the taste of my cock yeah? Missed how my pre-cum tasted on your tongue?" He rambled as you pumped him eagerly and sucked harshly. Sweat dripped down his forehead and a blush spread down his chest from you. He couldn't help but speak when he got like this: he praised everything you did and began to tell you everything he wished to say.

"Oh, y/n, I w-wished you knew why I teased you," he confessed through pants, "I wished you realized how much I like to annoy you, to get your attention, to tease you—mmh, fuck! All my friends know why I do it... every day they ask why I don't just go up to you and tell you why. But I could never seem to." Your mouth parted from his tip, your hand quickly replacing it, so you could properly look at the man who towered over you.

"Why... why didn't you do it, Innie?" you asked, voice still hoarse from when he made you take his cock. 

"Because," he gasped out as he tried to steady himself. "Because... I like to tease you, to make you notice me. I just w-want you to notice me, you sweet thing, and take care of me like you are now. And you know what? I think that—f-fuck—I think you like it when I tease you, too." He was not wrong, and the ruined floor with the clothes and books on it was evidence. But, you also knew that he was right because here you were, sucking his cock and balls and choking on it with the greatest pleasure. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. You wanted him to do things to you that you were too embarrassed to think about even in solitude. 

You impatiently returned to his length, each lap of your tongue and stroke of your hand making his moans louder.

"Y/n," he groaned. "Y/n, y/n, y/n—" His voice got quicker as your motions increased in speed and determination. "Fuck d-don't stop, such a good girl! Perfect fucking mouth for me, perfect, so smart, such a tease—god!"

Suddenly, his hand pushed your head and his cock was shoved down your throat, mouth hugging him as his hips made shallow thrusts into you and gags erupted from your stuffed throat.

"Y/n, y/n, baby, y/n, swallow, swallow, please—" his chants were high pitched as he continued to rutt into your mouth, "—so tight so warm, I— I—I can't—hmph!" Jeongin pressed himself into you as far as he could while his hips twitched, causing you to choke but not dare pull away, not now, not when you were doing such a good job. Your mouth—reddened and swore from Jeogin's abuse—now leaked his cum that couldn't be swallowed.

"That—that, I—" Jeongin stammered unintelligibly. Ever the gentleman, Jeongin pulled you off his cock and watched the remaining liquid gush from your mouth. The cum trickled onto your tits and worn tie, making you squirm and for Jeongin to take a shaky breath.

"So, so precious," he muttered through exhausted pants. You stared up at him, coughing from the misuse of your throat and the need for air. Still, you felt strange: needy, unsatisfied, like you needed the same release Jeongin did.

"Innie, I need—"

"Please, rest, baby," he cooed, stroking your hair absent-mindedly as his still-hard cock pathetically dribbled out cum. You licked your lips at the sight: the taste of his juices still lingered on your mouth.

"No, no, I..." You pawed at his hands and gripped his wrists lightly. The act took him out of his trance and look down at you. You were sleeked in sweat and cum, your thighs were pressed together tightly and coated in slick. You bounced with impatience, wanting more and more and not knowing how to ask for it. However, Jeongin may be stupid and a jerk, but even he slowly pieced together what you wanted.

"Y/n, you—"

"Innie," you urged as you started to pull him down towards you. As you pulled him lower, you laid on your back, bringing him down with you. "Innie, please."

"Y/n, you should rest—" Jeongin tried to argue while he sank to his knees and placed his palm on the floor to steady himself.

"No." When he tried to argue again, you placed your mouth on his and pulled him fully on top of you on the library floor. When your lips finally parted, Jeongin stared at you with hopeful eyes.

"Please," you sobbed. You grasped one of his hands and slowly guided it down between your bodies, rutting against it as soon as it was close enough to your cunt. "Innie, please make it go away."

Jeongin smiled. Who was he to say no to you?

His hand immediately found your clit and began rubbing tight circles on it, making you writhe and whimper.

"F-Fuck, it feels so good," you mewled.  Your pussy was gushing from the contact and it only became wetter when Jeongin licked his cum off of your chest. Bite marks and bruised skin were left behind in their stead, eager lips nipping at untouched skin. Though you hated being marked up and worried that it would show, you couldn't protest. Not when it felt this good, not when he was doing it.

Jeongin relished touching you, as well. He rubbed his cock onto your thigh while whimpering into each kiss. It was as if kissing you brought him to life, as if all of those years of teasing and picking on you had been worth it because he could fucking finally express his passion for you in a way that satisfied you both. Ever since he first saw you in the tight, ill-fitting uniform, he knew he wanted to be yours. Soon that feeling developed into the perverted dire need to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you from behind. Now, as he was kissing down your chest, and fingered your perfect, tight hole, he knew he was so close to what he wanted.

"Fuck, I," he gasped out between kisses, "I can't." Unexpectedly, he sat up and fully slotted himself between your legs. Before you could protest, however, you found your knees pressed to your chest, your skirt bunched around your waist, and Jeongin was rubbing his cock through your folds.

"Jeongin!" You yelped.

"J-just the tip," he whined. "Innie is gonna put just the tip in and then he is gonna take such good care of you. He just needs the tip, just a little bit, just needs to feel his precious little baby, just needs the tip just—hmph! Fuck! Y/n, baby, t-take it."

Even if it was just his tip, you knew you were too tight for him. Just his cockhead alone was stretching you out. But, the pain, just like how he pulled your hair or spanked your ass or choked you, was amazing. Though you protested, it was all just for show: to rile him up or to maintain some semblance of propriety. Truly, you never wanted him to stop.

"I-Innie! It's too big! I can't— I can't it's too big— fuck!" You stammered as continued to push himself into you, filling you with more than he had promised. Your voice made him whine and push his face into the nape of your neck. Immediately, he began to nip and kiss your neck in a feeble attempt to control himself. Yet, as he plugged you, he knew that he couldn't resist. You just felt too good, too sweet, too soft, too warm, too wet, and too perfect to just put his tip in. With every shaky breath, he tried to control himself, but he just couldn't. After only a few seconds, he began to stuff you full.

"Innie! What are you—"

"It's j-just the tip, just a little more." His muffled stutters vibrated against your skin, "I just n-need you, just need my g-good little baby to fuck this cock and be good for Innie and take what I give her. Let me fuck your perfect cunt and fill your pussy with my cum. You'd like that, to be filled with my c-cum?" Jeongin was almost fully inside of you and viciously rubbed your clit with every centimetre. You had never felt so full in your life.

"C-cum, Innie's cum?" You repeated naively.

"Yeah, just my cum. Only mine, only Innie's. You're m-mine, just mine only I get to fill this with my cum. Yeah?" He rose and looked down at you, lips ghosting over yours. As he stared down at you, it was hard to pinpoint what he felt. Sure, there was the deliciousness of corrupting your naivety, being the first one to fuck your cunt, and how every inch that entered you made you moan louder and with more desperation. However, at that moment, as he glanced down into your eyes which were always so sweet, he was overcome by the dire need to protect you. He wanted nothing more than to love you and have you as his, more than he'd ever wanted before. His cock eased into you, your breasts were covered in his slobber, you had swallowed his cum, his dick was twitching from overstimulation, and all he could think of was how lovely you looked.

"Yes," you sniffled, "only for you, Jeongin, my Innie."

"Oh, y/n," he panted. His lips captured yours and kissed them softly, contrasting the quick friction against your clit and the stretch of your cunt accommodating his cock.

Then he pushed himself into you, impatience getting the best of him.

"Fuck!" You both whined at the same time: Jeongin from the feeling of your tight cunt hugging him so well, and you from how you were filled to the brim with him. His hands moved to your inner thighs, spreading them to allow himself to rest between them and hug his waist. He eagerly gripped the soft flesh to try and control himself. Softly, his thumbs rubbed your skin and he let out strained moans. Your eyes were pinched shut and, with your legs free, you wrapped them around his torso and pulled him into you. As you did, he pushed a little deeper, only a little, but you rejoiced in the sensation. You feared that if pulled out of you, you would crumble. It was all too much too soon, too fast and too good to let it end too quickly. Clawing at his back with tears streaming down your cheeks, each breath brought you closer to him.

"It's too much... Innie I-I can't I—"

"Please, please, y/n." The desperation in his voice made your eyes open and stare at him. His face had reburied in your chest and it took everything in him to look up at you. As soon as you saw the look on his face, you knew that it was too much for him too.

"Let me make you f-feel good," he panted as he pressed his forehead into yours, "j-just a little, just take it, p-please." He didn't wait for your response as he pulled out a little, clamping his eyes shut from the feeling of dragging his cock out of you and hissing to refrain from immediately pounding back into you.

"Shit, it f-feels so good," you sniffled as he eased back in.

"Yeah? I told you. S-such a d-dumb baby, so dumb for my cock." His voice made you whine and your hands go up to knot themselves in his hair, pulling it slowly as his hips found a peaceful rhythm that contradicted the merciless lust it made you feel.

"So dumb," you mindlessly repeated, "such a s-stupid fucking baby for Innie." Your words hitched as he made a particularly harsh thrust into you. 

"Innie,” you asked in a small voice, “d-do you like it when I say that?"

Jeongin panted, trying to control himself, "Y/n, I—"

"You like to know I'm dumb, yeah? My stupid little pussy n-not know how to handle your big, veiny fucking c-cock?"

"Fuck, please, don't edge me," he strained through gritted teeth and with fingers dinging harshly into your thighs.

"T-teach me, teach me to how to fuck your cock." 

He didn't intend to pick up the pace as quickly as he did. Nor did he mean to make his thrusts so harsh with such a lack of control that you moaned with each push and pull of his heavy dick. But, when it came to you, he couldn't control himself.

"I'm—gonna—fill—you—with—my—cum," he growled as he pistoned into you. His hands moved to your outer thighs, occasionally spanking them and enjoying each jiggle of fat with every thrust into you.

"Fuck, slow—please s-slow down," you sobbed as your tits dragged across his chest, your overly sensitive nipples. Jeongin, however, just chuckled, his laughs dying out quickly as they were replaced by quick breaths. His eyes became dark again and his grip on you tightened, sweat mixing with your own as precum made a white ring around his cock.

"Just know that it's gonna spill out of you, that I'm g-gonna fill you up every day and keep you stuffed with it," he whimpered as his hips rolled faster, making his eyes pinch shut. "So warm inside of you, leaking out and just waiting for me to stuff it all back in and cum again and again and again and again."

"Innie, it's too much, " you responded dumbly. Jeongin didn't care. He just loved to hear his petname come out in little whimpers. His eyes opened again slowly, taking you in. Fuck, you looked so cute and fucked out, so close yet still begging for more.

"What's my name? Say it," he demanded with a stern glare.

"I-Innie..."

"Say it again—fuck, say it again, baby," he gasped.

"Innie!" You responded on command, like a dog being asked to bark.

"F-fuck, please, y/n, one more time just once more please!" He panted as his cock dragged and drove into you at an unforgiven pace.

"Innie, Innie fuck me, please baby, Innie, fuck!" You whimpered

"Fuck, it makes you blush. Getting all embarrassed and flustered... I make you blush, huh? My pretty baby, my innocent y/n, so cute—shit!" Jeongin's voice suddenly caught in his throat as he felt you tighten around him. While his veiny cock pulsed with each thrust, your warm cunt throbbed as you felt that strange feeling build and build inside of you. One of his hands moved back to your neglected clit and started to circle it quickly, making you pant like the needy bitch you were.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck—ah! Y/n, baby, s-stop clenching or I'll—I'll—"

"Innie," you sniffled softly, your voice soaked in desperation. "P-please, make me cum. P-please, for me? Please!" You couldn't believe the words that left your mouth. Neither did Jeongin.

"Y/n, I'm—fuck—I'm gonna—" his thrusts became sloppy and your jaw went slack as you felt lust building to an inordinate degree.

"I'm gonna— Innie— fuck!"

"Y/n, my baby, my sweet b-baby I— cum, cum!"

"Innie!"

Your cunt began to pulsate and your back arched. The feeling was unimaginable, like nothing you could ever describe. It came over you quickly and suddenly, in a tremendous wave that you wish would last forever. Jeongin, in a brief moment of clarity, pulled out of you and rubbed his soaking cock quickly, letting out occasional and short grunts as he fucked his hand. Then, his hips stilled and cum began to spill out of his tip, coating your stomach and cunt in his cum. Yet, you hardly noticed: you were too-fucked out to care.

Riding your orgasm, you sank to the floor and Jeongin collapsed on top of you. Both of you took deep breaths and he dropped his head against yours, eyes shut in ecstasy. His hands lazily dragged up your body before resting on your face. He pet the sides of your jaw and drew your eyes open to meet his. Seeing your eyes was like seeing a home dock in a storm. He pressed his lips into yours and stole your breath away again.

The kiss—unlike the moments leading up to it—was slow, soft. It took its time and ended only when you two were satisfied. After being brought down to reality, Jeongin pulled away and brushed some hair out of your face.

"Y/n," he softly said.

"Jeongin, Innie," you said back, twirling with his sweaty locks and massaging the nape of his neck.

"We..." he panted out before taking a look around, "We gotta clean this place up and get the fuck out of here."

You stared at him in awe before cracking a smile.

---

You felt weird walking in with Jeongin and his gang on Tuesday. Gang? Maybe like "gaggle of friends that constantly annoy you but you are now stuck with and quickly learning to love." Needless to say, it felt like all eyes were on you. Actually, it was true. Teachers, students, faculty, everyone: no one could believe that the top student was now walking hand-in-hand with someone who held the reputation for being the school's worst student.

Despite being an outspoken and confirmed hater of Yang Jeongin, here you were: walking in next to him, with his arm slung around you, and blushing at his cute jokes. God, when did Jeongin become cute?! What a horrid thing to think, let alone believe. Yet, you knew it. He was cute. And now, the whole school knew that you thought so. Or, at least, that's what your giggles insinuated.

Maybe you always thought he was cute and now you allowed yourself to believe it, like those intrusive thoughts were actually right all along, and, yes, you did actually think he was incredibly sweet and handsome, and likely the best boyfriend. It's only been four days but he already has promised to walk you to and from school every day and has dates pre-planned with you up until graduation. He hasn't told you about the latter part yet, but he will soon enough. He just needs to wait until you're a little more comfortable with him before he confesses how much he absolutely adores you.

Being an "it" couple was not on your goal list for high school. Come to think of it, being stared at when you walk with your boyfriend and losing your virginity to him a mere four days before in the school library was not on the list either. Oh, how plans change. Somehow, however, you didn't mind the stares. Though most were shocked at how Jeongin had bagged the school's nerdiest (and hottest) girl, how that girl—who hated the man—now gleamed at him with adoration, and how they ever managed to get together in the first place, the most shocking element was the fact that your uniform was not up to code. Every day for the past few years, you were a picture-perfect student with pressed dress shirts, even ties, and cleanly pleated skirts. Now, your tie was loose and you were even wearing a hoodie—fuck, his, hoodie?! Jesus.

As you walked to class, you couldn't care less. Jeongin escorted you to first period, giving you a sweet kiss on the cheek and almost smiling at how cute you looked all wrapped in his hoodie. Your fellow students—hell, even the teacher—seemed bewildered by the interaction.

You, however, barely acknowledged them. You just noticed the man in front of you in a light that was so starkly different from the past four years.

"Got everything, yeah?" He said with a straight face.

"Yes, Innie," you smiled, making him glance away.

"I told you—" he started in a voice that was a little too loud, making him dart around to see if anyone was looking his way. And, of course, everyone was looking at you two because how could they not? The eyes on him made him uneasy, but when he turned back to you, all those uncomfortable feelings disappeared into nothing. He licked his lips anxiously and leaned in, adopting a hushed voice to try and retain a morsel of privacy. "I told you not to call me that in public, baby," he blubbered, "it ruins my image. Please, baby."

God, was he blushing? Fuck, he was perfect.

"Okay, Innie," you teased, making him ever redder. You stressed his nickname and relished in his embarrassed demeanour.

Huh. Maybe Jeongin had been right all along: teasing was fun, especially if it was done on the person you liked the most.

"Promise me you'll go to class, okay? I'll see you in last period, then we'll keep working on the project," you said.

"Ugghhghhhhh.." he groaned with a long-winded exasperation. "UGH... Okay."

"Great!" You smiled mischievously, "And we'll actually have to work on it. Unlike all those other times we... 'worked on the project' together this weekend."

"Y/n." His blush grew from his ears down his neck, still unable to make eye contact with you. You'd think that years of teasing you made him impervious to sly remarks, but when they're coming from you, well that's a different story.

"Why are you acting like this?! It was your fault in the first place!" You huffed with an air of playfulness. "I just wanna remind you that we won't be alone in the library this time!"

"Just... g-get to class, okay?" He stuttered, "I'll see you later, baby."  Extending his hand out in a half-heart shape, you completed it with a giggle, adoring how small your hands were compared to your boyfriend’s. Then, Jeongin softly wrapped his hand around yours and pulled you in, offering you a kiss to your forehead. When he pulled away, he readjusted your glasses as they had slipped down your nose bridge.

"Perfect," he said with a small voice. With a final giggle from you, he watched you go into class.

Now there was the issue of what to do with his day. Normally, he'd spend first period smoking outside with his friends, wait until second period for the cafeteria to start serving pizza, go to third just to eat, then go to fourth period just to see you.

Now.. fuck. He was actually going to class. He hated how you were already having an effect on his lifestyle, but rejoiced that you operated in a position that dictated his life. If he was to be controlled, he would want you to be the one pulling the strings. Jeongin seemed to see you for who you really were: determined, intelligent, and perfect to coddle. Looking at you even had an effect on him, one that he could now proudly display instead of hiding behind bullying and teasing (not to say he’ll stop teasing you anytime soon).

As he slung himself into his assigned seat for first period, his surprise was mirrored on the teacher's face. God. Despite having only a few days passed since you two got together, you were already changing him to a noticeable degree. Yet, it was for the better. And he smiled knowing that if he was changing, that it was for good and that it was for you.

[amethystfairy1]

I am so sorry in advance because this is a really overthinky question for a really basic thing and I doubt that too much thought was put into it but I've been so curious about Tango (and blaze-borns in general ig) and how he works since reading TT esp, because of the burns, so I have a few questions :) [post-writing extra apology for possibly the longest ask in tumblr history, I should just make a Google doc and start sending links atp 😭]

°•~°•~°•~°•~

Just to walk you through the thought process, I tend to really, really think about little things since I zone out so much and need something to occupy my brain-time lol, so it started with the question how do the blazeborn water burns work? And that led to a slew of other questions.

The first question was "why water?" Ofc the first thought is that it's a temperature thing, as in TTSBC, super hot water doesn't have this issue. However, it's not like every room-temperature thing hurts them. So second thought was that blaze-born have something lava or fire-like just beneath their skin, with their skin acting as insulation. This makes sense, as they have an "internal flame" they can will to heat up on command, and also makes sense since there has to be some layer of insulation given that Zed describes his hands as "warm", but he's not actually being burnt, which, given that Tango can melt glass and metal after heating up, it's safe to assume even his base temperature is really hot.

I'd guesstimate 1000°c since that's about fire temp, so the skin layer has to be HELLA insulated. I also had some questions about why blazeborn even were that temperature, since, given the nether origin, there's no real evolutionary reason for netherborn in general to be able to cool enough to not hurt flesh, but I guess piglins exist... I also thought way too hard about that and started questioning how the hell (haha) blazeborn exist in the first place as they're implied to be part human to an extent... and that train of thought was left in the dust. More important questions to be had.

Anyways so I read a zedango one-shot I'm at least 75% sure was written by you, where Tango says water burns him "like lava burns [humans]". So naturally I did a ton of research as to how lava burns humans, and how burns work, and the chemistry behind it. Google, surprisingly, failed me miserably, and I had to use Google scholar and guess a ton, but I think the gist is that (and thank you Wikipedia) when fire is on stuff, the heat energy causes said stuff to turn into a vapor and make light. Human skin has a buncha oil and carbon and hydrogen and oxygen, all stuff that's great for fire. This tied into another question I had, which was "would pouring lava on the burn help?"

So first question: why does water help burns, and why does it hurt fire, and is it related. Short answer: yes. Long answer: water is REALLY GOOD at absorbing *temperature*. When water goes on fire, it basically consumes all the heat energy, making the fire die out, since, as discussed prior, fire (and lava!) work by using heat energy to make light. It helps with burns for the same reason, basically taking the temperature off of the burn. Cold water is bad for burns, though, as it doesn't absorb the temperature as well (being cold) and skin being cold is bad for the damaged tissue, and the cold constricts blood vessels trying to heal the area.

So, with this logic, should it be reversed, pouring lava on the burns would hypothetically help, since the initial problem is that the water stole all the heat, and pain is doing it's job of saying "hey, something's wrong here, stop moving so we can fix it." HOWEVER, while typing this out, I remembered something.

In TT, Tango's water burns are described as purple and bruise-like. I've been using real-life logic, but this isn't a real life earth setting. This is a minecraft setting. And what happens in minecraft when water meets lava? No, not cobblestone, that's the other way around. Obsidian. A purple rock. This means that the earlier theory that blazeborn have lava under their skin is basically confirmed. It also disputes the earlier theory that lava would help, as Tango was wrong. Water does not burn the same way lava does, it burns the same way liquid nitrogen does (which, really, makes sense).

Remember earlier about cold water closing off blood vessels? Well, in severe frostbite situations, something similar happens. The lack of bloodglow is the main problem. Safe to. Assume the lack of lava-flow would ALSO be bad. Obsidian forms when lava cools rapidly, which makes sense. Tango's under-skin layer turning to rock resembles frostbite in a lot of ways. It's hard to move, hurts a ton, and even turns purple-blue. How do you treat severe frostbite? Well, warm water does help, but using the warm water method hurts INSANELY. The recommended action is to just try to warm it up the least painful way possible and take a ton of painkillers. Now, people can dip their hands in liquid nitrogen and be fine. How? The internal heat of one's hand and insulation of their skin plus the fact that LN is hydrophobic means that the oil and moisture on your skin should keep you safe for a second or so. But pretty quickly your abysmal heat gets beaten. Now take water, which is really good at absorbing heat. Frostbite in seconds.

That leaves only two questions: Why does the blazeborn skin only insulate one way? Given Tango's ability to be fine to the touch, you'd think that he's super insulated and thus protected. Easy answer? Being nether-born, there's no real reason to be immune to the cold in general. Water is literally not a thing. The second question: Why does Tango need to drink??? Easy answer; it's one of the criteria to be "alive." Need water to function. But water is completely unavailable in the nether. "They drink lava" makes no sense, as lava effectively is just hot rock. It makes sense Tango needs water, as things like... tongues, eyes, ect really need that stuff. But blazes don't, as they're fire. There's no way to get water from food, as nothing else (in the nether) has a high water content, and in ttsbc, water hurts even to drink prior to entering the mouth, but the digestive tract can handle it. Is it the human side? If so, how did Tango live in the nether so long in TT?

I was tempted to go "okay too much overthinking" at this point, but I refused to give up. So, I've determined something. A quick Google says humans need water to "regulate temperature, digest, circulate blood, salivate, and pee". How does water help with these things? It's a really really good solvent. What else is a good solvent? Basically just nail polish. Okay. New plan. Piglins exist in the nether, and they are flesh-based, organic, and pretty close to the overworld mob, well... the pig. Crazy, I know.

Anyway, [how've I not hit a character limit] that means water HAS to exist in the nether. What else proves this? BASALT! Pretty sure I watched a matpat theory that said something like this, but eh game theory is always gonna beat me to it.

Water has to exist somewhere in the nether. Where? How? I daresay, ice. In earlier versions, ice in the nether would become water. Later this was removed. However, now, ice placed in the nether will stay ice. How? Who cares, it's perfect!

Should the ice exist beneath the rocks, say under basalt or netherrack (which we can assume netherack is really good at insulation as it doesn't burn like magma in MC) people of the nether could eat that ice, which would melt without using too much of their body heat and dehydrating them like it does normal people due to the fact that their body isn't working overdrive to melt it by heating up, since theyre already more than warm enough, and it means the piglins likely just melt their ice and drink it super fast. The ice could be held by the claws, preventing burns, and BAM. Blazeborn mystery solved.

°•~°•~°•~

TL;DR? I ask too many questions and think too hard. Also, blaze born get frostbite, not burns, eat ice, and should not be thought of from an origin perspective. (Seriously, given the serious variations types of hybrids and mutants, what were people doing????)

Come back next week for my rant on Doc being our only cannon double-hybrid/mutant as a creeper goat and the implications of interspecies children and what is considered a "main" subspecies and why, as well as the consideration of a possible history of purity in breeding given the amount of people who are just one thing, how many of trait get passed down and why, weather the bird side can become more dominant in avians, how siblings can have different bird subspecies,(raven and parrot?) and why TT avians have bird legs and TTSBC ones don't!

[After consideration I'm sending this anonymously because it doesn't matter whether tumblr says there's no way to know, I think it's possible to guess who I am given... uhh... the book in your inbox]

I.

I think you're giving me a lot of credit here for thinking things through this much...I do try to think things through but this is...

WOW!

This is AWESOME! You did so much research into it and that's SO SO SO cool! I love it! I don't really have much to add too it...but I can help with that second bit! I've mentioned before, but if your parents are different subspecies, you will ALWAYS be born of one or the other. For example, if Joel and Lizzie ever had a kid in TTSBC, that kid would be either a cat hybrid or a butterfly hybrid, not both, and no mixed traits. If they had another kid, it would flip the coin again. Avians feather colors are similar coin flips based on parentage! As for why the TT avians have bird feet and the TTSBC avians don't...? Well, if you wanna deep dive on that, go for it! This whole thing was SO COOL to read! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my AUs so much!

[johnegbertlover413]

i feel like we're forgetting here that the entire time dave is like 13-16! which like, of course he'd be immature as shit, not to mention bro has been beating his ass since he was a BABYYYYY, bro exposed dave to smuppet porn at like a hella young age, i'm not even a fan of dave strider and i feel like that says something! bro isn't 'the victim' i swear you only say that shit about dave to defend bro's actions so you can ship him with john or some dumb bullshit. if you're gonna have a take on a character at the very fuckin least don't just skim through every panel dave just happens to be in and dramatize every single bad things hes done. another thing, john is just canonically straight! he was never gay, and dave didn't make him homophobic! i'm hoping this is ragebait because you sure as hell are good at it, i really don't wanna think that buffoons like you actually walk the streets.

1) u dumb fuck did you READ the shit I said about it being premeditated (that might not be thee bessssst word to describe it but u get the point). Obviously Dave wasn’t a horrible person a horrible person as a baby but the thing is he is a time player and he has the power to break linear timeee. So following that logical through line his karmic justice (terezi relation heheh or should I say h3h3h) would also not be linear!!!!!

2) bro never exposed him to Smuppets porn I AM TIREDDDDD OF THIS UGHHHH. Smuppets are clearly not supposed to be genuinely sexual in universe or out. I’m sorry but u getting a boner ISNT PROOOOOFFFFF. Liek sex jokes r illegal to u chronically online motha fuckas because u get off to everything u see n blame everyone else for it!!!!

3) Dave was a child HOWEVER so was everyone else. None of them acted like that did they ???? Like Jake had to dispose of his grandmothers remains and had to raise himself as liek a toddler. Now Jake sucks ass but he actually gives a shit about people other than himself!!!! The reason Jake is so manipulative is because he thinks that’ll make everyone happy. It doesn’t but at least he’s trying!!!!! U got me defending that identity stealing shulb ova this wowwwww. What does Dave do for his friends? And like actually his friends, not himself and coincidentally also then? FUCKING NOTHING. He doesn’t even TRY to. He shoves some dead bodies out the window for Jade, so what? She could handle it, she stuffed her grandpas dead body as a child she’d probably be delighted to see Dave dead (as would anyone forced to commune with him). He does it so he can persevere the narrative in his head that he is so cool and so good and he is the most important and everything about how he is some tragic hero when in reality all his friends fucking hate him!! And the braindead fandom takes this at face value!!!

4) the bro is da true victim thing was a joke u dumb fuck I SAID TAHG B4. Do ure reaserch b4 u say something stupid to me I do nowt deserve this. Along with that I don’t need to make bro a better person to ship him with jawhn!!! Imfact the worse of a person he is the betta he is to ship with sweet sweet Johnny.

5) I said Dave made John homophobic I said nothing about John’s sexuality. You know straight people aren’t inherently homophobic right? Anon u should really think about your view point on that u should also probably think about why you are sniffing Dave’s farts he is ugly.

Anyway good luck passing 7th grade English class (you’ll need it!!)

[somerandomcryptid]

ah no no sorry i confused the words bc i was asking of You wanted to talk more about the cpunz and cquackity and c!cryptid stuff related to your recent art post but i got confused if it was part of You previous au or a new one and got confused, sorry 😓

-cleo

Ah yeah that makes more sense. No problem! actually kinda good you got confused cause I think I may have cooked something kinda fire so before I absolutely lore dump on you have some sketches of an au where Punz is a big doggo I just did

Man’s best friend :)

Anyway onto such less wholsome stuff because yeah those sketches were for Dreaming of death

also tw for implied child abuse and one mention of a child being hit (not contiunasly just twice with different people behind it each time), and one other mention of a child being harmed in a relatively minor way

I really should have clarified this is almost directly after the other Cryptid and Quackity in formal wear arts I’ve done. which I don’t think I’ve ever really explained? because honest i haven’t decided all the details. i just know that a fancy event is held at las nevadas and afterwards the las nevadas crew kinda like, goes around the server? like bar hopping but without the bars? they’re still all deunk though. it’s very chaotic.

They just so happen to run into staged duo (not directly but staged duo can see them, if they actually had awareness they’d probably be able to see them too)

and uhhhhhhh welll Cryptid and Q aren’t exactly.. obeying quaritoine rules?/platonic this pisses both Dream and Punz off. amd wellll Punz is kinda the more confrotational of the two?(he feels like he should fight dream’s battles because he wasn’t there for him in prison)

so he uhhh yoinks his child cryptid. They do not appreiate this. Q also, does not appreiate this. but Punz kept Quackity in his basement for 2 weeks and experiemented on him, safe to say he has the intimadation points. and the height advantage.

Anyway yeah that’s all the context I SHOULD have given. But brain was wprking a mile a minute because dod!Punz is walking contrictions if they were good at pvp. and I love him for it.

to elaborate on that. the guy is one, trying to gaslight himself imto thinking he doesnt want to make out with Dream, two trying to gaslight himself into think he doesn’t care about Cryptid.

which like…. wrong but also he does truly hate Cryptid a bit and is hella jealous of them. He also has tucked them into bed and condsidered for a brief second staying with them when they request him to.

And that’s not even touching how Cryptid feels about him. because he is the reason for aproximately a 4th of their issues. and also their idol a bit.

and they just hate each other but also care about each other in such an interesting mix.

Punz genuinely thinks they are a brat and that they are incredibly dramatic about how bad their lofe is because they have it ”good” in his eyes. but he also genuinely would never want to see them hurt and seeing them with Quackity makes him seeth because their risking their safety and also that their wasting their potential which he begrudgingly admits they have.

But also. he is the only person on the server to have scarred Cryptid(physically I mean), when they first met properly he held a dagger to their throat. they were fine, it’s just a little scar but it was still signifagant. He is also one of the only people to have hit them, the only other person being Quackity, was only once. still happened though.

Sorry this kinda just spiralled to me rambling about dod!punz with no real end point but he’s one of my favorites for just how convoluted he is. i would ramble more. but also it’s 6:30 am and I should go to bed lol.

(Since I’m main tagging I’m going to put the big ol’ Dreaming of death is an au of the fic penpal by @calamari-minecraft-corner :3)

[azuls-spare-contracts]

I fear i know the twins in real life (TW will have some heavy topics of my personal experiences)

(tw for ed's and bullying) well this is probably one of the more personals posts i'd make but i do not have many friends in person except for one from school and another who i also speak to a lot and know in person despite us being more long distances but these two friends are related and very into twisted wonderland

there is an ongoing joke that me and these two friends who i will nickname sunny and rayne for this. the joke is that us three are just the octotrio in real life or more like a realistic version of what the trio would be like as teens in a regular life as humans,

so my friend Rayne is just like jade because this person also has an obsession with nature mainly mushrooms and just always has had one for the longest time they also are pretty formal and tall as well, they also are pretty smart but obviously not 10000% academic genius level but they are often times seen as a bit intimidating and they always come up with random ass facts that like i have no idea where they came from, i sometimes think that they are apart of the FBI.

list of reasons i actually feel like rayne is like irl jade leech ◉ loves mushrooms

◉ they love to go exploring nature

◉ they are more of like a person who's very in research

◉ its actually hard to tell what they feel as their expressions sometimes are like jades

◉ they have a family member just like floyd

◉they often charm people Now for Sunny they are just like floyd with often having mood swings as well as just being more of a jokester and they have very similar facial expressions to floyd as well as giving people nicknames and they also love shoes and play basketball as well and are also tall main reasons sunny is like floyd ➣they love shoes ➣they are super silly ➣mood swings ➣ lowkey don't know how to spell ➣hella smart if they try ➣play basketball ➣tall ➣give people nicknames though one thing that is true is that they are my closets friends but they do also have a very similar thought process as the twins do with azul which is that they are mostly my friends because i'm interesting to them and that if i ever just got boring or seemed bad to them then they're both leave which i've accepted and soon they both are now very near and dear to my hearts and they also are one of my only friends in real life but i love them a lot and they have said that they do care about me and have grown to love me as a close friend now i am often compared to azul and there is a massive reason as to why he is a comfort character which is the fact that we both have the same childhood and also we are super insecure of ourselves and try to hide it by working or trying to make ourselves look stronger though deep down we are like a guppy in sharks clothing (my friend also compare me to Idia but mainly azul) reasons my friends call me azul ◇same exact backstory and yes it was for my looks too ◇ i only have two real life friends and have been my ride or dies since ◇have two friends like Jade and Floyd who also have the same reasons for why we are friends ◇i do indeed have a business where i made Jewlery plus a family one ◇i like money bling bling bling ◇Have/ Has an ED ◇ very insecure about looks and hates it when people see photos of younger selves ◇i am shorter than rayne and sunny ◇i like octopus (fun fact its my favorite food) ◇i love to collect things ◇i am actually very smart academically and did win valedictorian of my old school ◇i am shy and have a super hard time making friends ◇massive fear of judgement ◇i am very knowledgeable on marketing, making money and business over all so overall thats why some few people have called me and my two real life friends The Tweels and why my friends call me Azul

[jcbbby]

could you write something where the reader is going through it mentally with stress and anxiety and ed related shit to the point where it’s like effecting her physical health and jamie is trying to help her through it sorry if it’s oddly specific i was recently in the ER for a CT scan and it ended up being a stress induced headache and just wish i had someone to just comfort me 😭

oh, my poor friend!!! I'm so sorry you've been going through all that as of late. :( I'm glad the ER visit ended up being nothing serious, but as someone also recently in the ER for a CT scan...still not fun either way. and I've also HELLA been there, having anxiety and an ED affect my physical health. I'm sending you all the love I have in my heart, I'm here for you if you want to talk to anyone, and I hope you find some comfort in this lil fic. <3

warnings: mention of needles, hospital visit, mental illness.

-

You heard the front door close from across the silent house. Jamie must be back from his meeting this morning with his manager. You weren't sure how long he'd been gone, having been half conscious trying to sleep through this throbbing headache you had for the last...however long it had been. It started last night after a long day of errands and you went to bed without dinner, something you knew was probably bad to do but a sad part of you took a sadistic pride in that. Jamie kissed you goodbye when he left this morning, and low and behold, he came to kiss you hello in the same spot he left you earlier.

"Hi, darling." He spoke softly as he came through the doorway. "How are you feeling?"

You groaned slightly as you stirred, pushing yourself upright with your hands, resting your back against the pillows. You sighed, rubbing an eye.

"I'm just tired..."

You weren't lying exactly. Tired was the only word you could think of to describe how you had been feeling. The past few weeks had been very busy and stressful with Jamie's schedule. You were a person of routine; you needed to eat at specific times, the food you ate was carefully curated, you had a set routine for morning and night. The uncertainty of the day's timeline had wreaked havoc on your mental state. Jamie knew you had struggled with some mental issues, but you never let on the extent of it around him as best as you could. This time, however, it really overwhelmed you.

Jamie frowned as he walked toward you and gently sat on the bed. "Love, you've been in bed for almost 24 hours and you're still tired?"

"Well, and my head still hurts. It's just all at the back of my head...it's just throbbing." You screwed your eyes shut, bringing your hands up to rest at the base of your neck.

"Really? Have you taken any tablets to help?" He reached up to feel your forehead for any temperature. "You don't feel feverish at least."

You nodded your head lightly and then shrugged. "Didn't help."

"Do you think maybe we should get you into the ER? Just to be sure you're okay, since the medicine isn't helping and it's lasted this long?" He reached out taking your hand gingerly.

"No...no, I don't want to bother them if it's nothing." You shuffled yourself deeper down into the bed, as if getting comfier would convince Jamie you were fine.

"Darling, their whole job is to be bothered by people even if it is nothing. They're there to make sure it's nothing. Please, I just want to make sure you're alright, love." He squeezed your hand that he was still holding.

You sighed, squeezing Jamie's hand back. You didn't want to go to the ER. You didn't want to be a burden, not to Jamie or anyone at the hospital. Hospitals always freaked you out, too. The worst news of someone's life could be given in a hospital, and it always made you uneasy to be in one.

"Okay...okay, we can go." You looked up to him, eyes downturned in defeat.

Jamie gave a small smile as he got up and came around to help you out of bed. You felt weak and cold as you left the cocoon of the comforter. Black spots filled your vision as you stood up for the first time in hours, causing you to grab Jamie's shoulder for support.

"Stooduptoofast." You said through a scrunched face.

Without a word, you felt Jamie's arms scoop around your back and behind your knees, lifting you bridal style up into his chest.

"I'll do all the work then." He smiled before planting a gentle kiss to your forehead.

-

You sat in the ER waiting room for a couple hours, since you didn't appear to be in dire need of attention. Jamie held your hand as you used his shoulder as a pillow. He stroked the back of your hand with his thumb, bringing you a much needed sense of ease.

Jamie wouldn't let go of your hand the entire time you were back in a room to be seen by the doctor. He held it as the doctor and nurses conducted tests and asked you questions. He squeezed it and rubbed your back with his other hand as the nurse inserted an IV port to give you fluids, as per the doctor's orders. You flinched and looked away as you felt the sting of the needle in your wrist.

"You're doing great, darling." He whispered as the nurse walked out.

"What if I have a tumor or something? What if I'm having an aneurism?" You couldn't help but start to feel the slight panic set in while lying in the hospital bed.

Jamie came and sat along side you on the small rickety bed. "Oh, no, no of course you don't have any of those horrible things! We're just here to make you feel better, and you will in no time." He brought a hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear.

You leaned your head against his hand. You were so grateful for Jamie, he always knew how to make you feel better. He smiled and cupped your cheek.

"Hello! Oh, so sorry to interrupt." The doctor said from the doorway as you both looked over to him. "I just wanted to pop in to let you know that your work ups look pretty good. A little low on potassium, blood sugar is also very low, which might be why you're feeling a little weak and tired. But otherwise nothing of major concern. Your head looks okay, CT scan is normal. I would probably say a combination of stress and you're a likely dehydrated, which the fluids should remedy. Once you're finished with that bag there, I think I would be comfortable discharging you." He smiled.

"Sounds great, thank you." You smiled at the doctor.

"Wonderful, thank you so much." Jamie also smiled to him.

"Thank god..." You chuckled.

"See, you're alright and on your way to feeling better. I love you, darling." He kissed your cheek.

"I love you too."

-

Once the bag of fluids had finished, the nurses removed the needle and supplied you with discharge papers. The doctor was right, with the fluids, your head did start to feel a lot better.

Jamie took you home and you headed straight back to bed without a word. He followed you into the bedroom, leaning against the doorway as you climbed under the covers again.

"Do you want me to get you anything? I can make you something to eat." He looked to you, watching you settle in.

"No, I'm okay. Thank you though." You paused in your settling, looking over to Jamie. You knew he was right and that you should have something, but you didn't want to eat.

He let out a quiet sigh, slowly coming toward you and climbing into bed with you. He took you in his arms, looking to you with eyes, pleading.

"Sweetheart...please, let me make you something to eat. It's been over 24 hours since you last had something. It will help, I promise." He kissed your temple.

You turned to him, about to protest, but the look in his eyes hit you directly in the gut. He looked at you as if you were a fragile heirloom he had discovered in the dusty attic. He just wanted to take care of you, he wanted to see you shine again.

"Okay...you're probably right, babe. Thank you for taking care of me." You smiled meekly up at him.

He pulled you into him even tighter, wrapping you in a hug. He held you for a moment before pulling you back and holding you at arm's length. He caressed your shoulder with his thumb.

"Listen...I know things are tough for you right now...I know. But I also know that you are so strong. And even when you're not, I'm here to hold your hand and help you see it through, alright?" He smiled.

The tears immediately filled your eyes. Almost as if the love you felt for this man before you was spilling out through your eyes. You found your hands coming up to either side of his cheeks, pulling him forward to meet at your lips.

You pulled away, sniffling your tears away. "I do know that. You're always there for me. Thank you."

"You can thank me by eating the pasta I'm about to make you." He brought his hand up to playfully boop your nose. "Then we're even."

[tarotoftheendless]

Sandman Ships

Ok, so since the first season dropped on Netflix there as been a lot of Dream of the Endless love especially with how absolutely gorgeous they made him look thanks to Tom Sturridge already being a beautiful man. And Tom has knack for coming into his projects and serving absolute cunt... and depending on the project, he comes in, serves cunt, has sexual chemistry with everyone, and then either leaves or even just straight up dies. That's Tom for you.

And it wasn't any different in The Sandman. He comes in, serves cunt, looks hella tortured and sad, and then tries to be all dominating when he is in fact just an absolute cinnamon roll that needs a hug and or a decent fuck. Over a hundred years in a glass bowl will make one both touch adverse but also touch starved, so...

Anyway, there are a couple ships that I do get, one ship that I get but is controversial and then a ship I don't get at all because they had no chemistry at all.

First and foremost, Hob Gadling and Dream. This whole friendship is queer-coded. They have a meet cute, a curiosity about one another, flirting, denial, reconnection... it was so romantic it's ridiculous. So, yeah, I am on the Dreamling train for sure. The way they look at each other, the way Hob was super jealous when Dream left him to go fuck Shakespeare (you absolutely know that Dream fucked Shakespeare to "inspire" him), the way Hob came to Dream's defense when 1789 Johanna Constantine came with her men with demands, the way Hob tried to bring up the fact that Dream is lonely, the way Hob looked so sad when he realized he got stood up, the way his eyes lit up when Dream finally came. Yeah, Hob is head over heals in love with Dream. Dream might need some convincing, but he is intrigued and curious about Hob in a way that he can't quite put his finger on but it is not just friendship.

I am still mad that because Dream was captured that we lost out on seeing 1989 Dream... he would've been so goth and hot it would've been criminal. I hope they do an 1980's thing in the show at some point so we can see Tom go all out in a 1980's look and the goth/metal look from that era. Tom would look so good and Hob would just die for it like the rest of us.

The other ship I see with Dream is actually modern Johanna Constantine. I don't see many people talk about their chemistry here on Tumblr but I have seen a few fanfics on AO3, so, some people agree with me. Just the way they spoke to each other, how close they stood to each other, some lingering looks. Johanna is bisexual too, so, I see it. Their chemistry was off the charts. Also, he actually listens to her when she calls him out on his bullshit. She actually gets through to him a bit, it seems, you know. A sign of respect, which all good relationships need, romantic/sexual or not, to be a halfway decent relationship.

Now the controversial one; Dream and Desire. Yeah, yeah. They're siblings. I know. They still had chemistry. Dream pulling their head back? Yeah, that was hot. And they are literally more than gods. If the gods of mythology and lore are always marrying family members, why would more than gods beings not sometimes partake in relations with their own relations? They aren't human and therefore are not bound by the same laws and rules and morals as us humans are. I am not trying to make a case or an excuse for incest as a whole, because I am not, incest is bad, but I am saying that beings that aren't human might not view incest the same as we do when it comes to other beings that are like them.

I have not read the comics fully, but apparently Desire used to be Dream's favorite, like they used to be close, whatever that looked like... and then Dream got with someone and Desire started to fuck with Dream's love life... as far as I know the comics never say how Desire was Dream's favorite, but would it be completely out of left field if they had been romantic at one time? Dreams and desires have very similar functions, they as concepts work well with one another, so, it wouldn't surprise me is Dream and Desire had been intimate once upon a time... and that would explain why Dream and Desire had a falling out after Dream started to pull away and explore other romantic interests. It is just a thought. Like I said, I have not read all the comics yet.

The one ship I do not see and will never see is The Corinthian and Dream. Yes, Dream is a dark and brooding goth twink (I know the term is outdated, but if there is another term I could use to describe him better, please let me know) and then we have our charismatic Southern hospitable gay serial killer man that is one of Dream's own creations, a nightmare... and Dream is the Dreaming and if the dreams and nightmares are Dream's creations and of the Dreaming and Dream is the Dreaming... then this would be narcissistic... though we all know Dream is sort of self important... and Cori (I'm just gonna call him that for simplicity sake), is also very much in his "but what about what I want?" era... so, both have those narcissistic tendencies, but Cori is so fed up with Dream I don't see this ever being romantic or sexual. I didn't see the chemistry, it wasn't there. It is more of a parent child relationship. And whereas I don't agree with Cori going out and inspiring a literally army of serial killers, he is very much like a millennial older child trying to talk to their boomer parent about their own toxicity. Cori is disillusioned with Dream and the way he runs things in the Dreaming. Dream is cold, unfeeling, too focused on the status quo and Cori wants to change all that. This relationship never came off as sexual or romantic, I'm sorry. All the Corintheus shippers out there, I'm sorry, but I don't buy it or see it. maybe the comics it was more prominent but Tom and Boyd didn't play it like that. I know Tom tends to have sexual chemistry with almost every costar he has ever had, but Boyd was/is not one of them.

Anyway, that's all the ships that I have seen in The Sandman show and then the one that other people saw that I just don't see at all. What do ya'll think?

[mephinomaly]

[TL] BIOHAZARD/Chapter 9

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Koga: Hm~...?

Rei: ? Something the matter, Koga?

Koga: Nah, jus’ thinkin’ about Adonis. At this point in time, we barely had any contact.

Rei: I was his closest confidant and I introduced the two of you and you began having lessons and such together.

Koga: Yeah. But I guess it wasn’t until much later that we began meetin’ up regularly… Ya know, when he officially became one of us.

Basically when Deadmanz was rebirthed ‘n became UNDEAD.

Wonder why Adonis was so reserved back then. He wouldn’t come t’lessons unless I kept insistently invitin’ him.

Rei: Despite his tough exterior, he is a surprisingly timid boy. Especially back then.

That’s why, once you open your heart, you become attached to him since he’s so cute. The same happened with you two— Kaoru-kun, Koga ♪

Koga: Haa? Who’s wagging their tail now, hM?

Kaoru: Ahaha. But really guys, I’m curious where Adonis-kun is. This situation is so weird, and I’d like for him to be here too.

Koga: Hng~! Hnnngggg~! This blows! We can’t even get away from our past selves. Lookin’ for Adonis is gonna be difficu—

Adonis: That won’t be necessary.

I’m here.

Kaoru: Gahh, is that you Adonis-kun!?

You scared me so much… Next time, tell me that you’re here, ‘kay?

Adonis: I’m sorry. I was confused and unsure about this whole situation up until I heard everyone’s voices.

Rei: No matter. It appears that we can hear each other’s voices, but cannot see one another.

Even if you’re here, unless you speak, we won’t know of your presence.

Adonis: Yes. I’m not much of a talker, therefore I am at a bit of a disadvantage. I’m having a bit of a difficult time with what’s happening.

Koga: Anyway. We’re talkin’ like this is the most normal thing ever but, why are you here, Adonis?

Adonis: Like in a philosophical sense?

Koga: Noo, not like that! I could be wrong but I think we can only exist if our physical selves are nearby? Grrra, talkin’ like this ‘bout myself is hella confusin’!

Kaoru: I think we’re going crazy… But what I think he means is, if you’re here, then the old Adonis-kun should be nearby, right?

Isn’t this weird? We didn’t even know each other back then?

Adonis: I also am finding this strange.

I don’t understand why, but earlier, Sakuma-senpai attacked me.

Rei: Eh? Why do I keep attacking people?

Adonis: It wasn’t you, ‘wagahai’ Sakuma-senpai, but ‘oresama’ Sakuma-senpai.[1]

Rei: I understand, however, I don’t believe I really referred to myself as ‘oresama’ back then.

I’m not sure where you got that idea from, but most probably because of Koga.[2]

Since Koga was copying me at that time, people seem to assume I spoke in that manner as well–

Koga: Haa? What, so you’re sayin’ it’s all my fault?

Rei: Not exactly, no… However, this is rather peculiar.

The four of us, who at this time weren’t too involved with one another, are all here together. I don’t recall anything like this happening.

What could possibly be causing these inconsistencies? And what does it all mean?

Adonis: If Sakuma-senpai doesn’t understand, there’s no hope for the rest of us.

Rei: I am still not an almighty, all knowing god… Ah, hush now. Something is happening.

Rei: Haha. My bad for tellin’ you guys to come out here, but everythin’s already been sorted.

This guy’s the main offender in today’s ‘vampire riot’.

Adonis: ...

Keito: You’re… Otogari, right? ‘Vampire’? What are you talking about?

Rei: What on earth am I talking about?

Adonis: I have no idea.

But, I do remember something bad happening around this time. I don’t know what is meant by vampire, though—

Wasn’t this the event that led us to be us becoming UNDEAD?

Rei: Ah, now that you say that… it was. How nostalgic.

This was the last Deadmanz related incident, and the first UNDEAD related incident.

[ ☆ ]

Current rei uses the personal pronoun wagahai (我輩) and old rei, you know the one in deadmanz used ore (俺). The rei that supposedly attacked adonis used oresama (俺様)

current koga uses oresama!

Chapter 8

Chapter 10

[aita-irl]

AITA for getting mad about people online hating my country and calling for its destruction?

This is going to be pretty long, sorry.

(TW: discussions of racism)

As you might've guessed, I'm not from the US, not going to name which country though. But for context, while officially it has generally alright relations with the US, from what I've seen, many USAmericans online (and probably Canadians too) hate the place, if they know we exist at all. This is chiefly because our laws here are much more strict than the US (we also have both capital and corporal punishment, and our government is pretty damn homophobic), and our government has tight control over a lot of things, including and especially the media.

I don't personally agree with many of our local laws, but I'm literally a student, I can't do jack shit. Protesting is effectively illegal here, as is talking smack about the government (hence why I'm not naming names).

(Just to be clear, the country in question also isn't Israel. They're unfortunately a lot more popular in the US than us.)

I know going online and looking at other people's opinions is a risk, but since joining Tumblr, I've had this existential dread about the fact that my country isn't very well liked. One of the first posts I saw when I first joined was someone cheering that my country was running into some trouble at the time, saying that we should've never become independent and it serves us right, hopefully our country is destroyed soon, et cetera. (Though, admittedly, they were from our much larger neighbouring country from whom we claimed independence, so there is some bias. The bad blood goes way back.)

Other stuff I've seen include highly liked posts calling our country a shitty hellhole, as well as a hella lot of racism. (For more context, white people are a minority here. Our population is not only predominantly a race that is pretty hated over in the US, but the next two largest racial groups are also similarly if not more hated.)

Add that to the fact that recently, someone famous from my country was exposed as, or at least implied to be, a bootlicking piece of shit. And now the discussion is that because he is of a certain non-white race, of course he would be a bootlicker. (The situation is way more complicated and specific than that, but going into detail would absolutely doxx the country... as if everything else in this ask hadn't already done so.)

Yes, we live in a conservative (and very capitalist) dictatorship. It sucks. Hot take, but no, that doesn't make my country absolute hell to live in - I'd much rather stay here for the rest of my life than move to the US while it was at its best, for one. And of course, considering my country, for all its flaws, at least doesn't go around genociding people and starting wars, I still have some national pride. Enough to feel terrible seeing everyone hope my country gets destroyed, at least.

In fact, call me brainwashed by my country's propaganda or whatever, but losing independence is quite a touchy subject for almost everyone here, myself included. The last few times we were under someone else's control, we had, in order: white people pressing almost everyone else into doing cheap labour, a genocide that the aggressor still hasn't admitted to, and hella local racism with a fair share of violence. In fact, the last one, the aforementioned neighbour, loves reminding us, on our national day, that they have a capable army. We are pretty small, so existence is a legitimate worry for us.

In short, seeing people call for my country's destruction is infuriating and terrifying - sure, they are just anonymous people online who probably aren't the politicians in charge of waging war on other countries. However, the existence of these people, with these opinions, could hint at there being a broader general opinion that my country should not exist. Don't you love some existential dread about your home's future?

Of course, I could also absolutely be overreacting. People have a right to believe and say whatever they want and all. They do have a point about my country being the absolute pits in certain areas, after all. I'd like to receive an opinion about this that isn't from the government about the importance of national pride and loyalty. AITA?

[eggsyfired]

I just finished making an animatic about Haymitch w the song “Bug Like an Angel” by Mitski, but Alight Motion is being fucking stupid and won't let me export shit. So in the meantime I’m gonna be breaking down the lyrics of the song and how it connects back to everyone’s favorite sad clown.

There's a bug like an angel stuck to the bottom of my glass with a little bit left

If we wanna follow the religious themes of this song, this could connect to Lucifer, a fallen angel, and the singer. They were both good and well-adjusted people, but became gross and bad or smth after “falling into temptation” (in the singer's case, becoming addicted to alcohol). Haymitch is a very smart dude and could've had a good life, especially with the influence given to him as a victor, but having gone through some insane trauma, he became a joke and “screw up” instead. Also I drew this part of the animatic with a bug literally being in the drink instead of under the glass like Mitski intended lol. 

As I got older I learned I’m a drinker. Sometimes a drink feels like family 

In my HC, Haymitch's descent into crippling alcoholism sort of crept up to him throughout a long span of time instead of the usual “diving head first into a sea of alcohol the moment his family dies” thing I see a lot of people portray it as. He’d try to deny he’s an addict, but as he grows older and his addiction becomes debilitating, he accepts it. He does jackshit about it tho because drinking and being drunk brings him comfort, probably a similar sense of comfort that his (you guessed it) family or community brought. The lyric could also be referring to the singer’s family being prone to addiction, and since I’ve got a HC that Haymitch’s alcoholism was hereditary (cuz why not), it also fits really well with this interpretation in mind.

Hey, what's the matter? Looking like your sticker is stuck on a floor somewhere.

As a kid, Mitski was a huge sticker collector, and the thought of her beloved stickers being abandoned and mistreated on a random floor made her feel sad. A mitski-less interpretation is the singer's heart or even the singer itself being the sticker, getting stuck in a place where they’re getting hurt. Again, both interpretations fit Haymitch. For the former, it relates to him by how he cared about his community, so watching them die every year in horrible, brutal ways made him feel a little sad to say the least. For the latter, it relates to him in the way he’s stuck being a mentor, watching kids he’s expected to look after die year after year.

Did you go and make promises you can't keep? Well, when you break them, they break you right back

This is my fav, mostly cuz this can have 3 completely different meanings if you see this song with him in mind.  1. the original meaning, aka swearing to be sober but end up relapsing, making the singer feel like dookie 2: Haymitch “promising” the loved ones of his tributes that he’ll bring them home, only for them to be consistently killed off. The responsibility of so many lives and families weighs on him, and it makes him feel hella guilty for letting so many people down. If you wanna get hella angsty, maybe D12 felt the same. They thought Haymitch could be a huge help to bring more kids back home compared to the 40 years of D12 tributes not having a mentor, but he couldn't, and it makes some people resent him, making him feel even MORE shitty!! 3: Here’s my favorite version: HIS PROMISE TO KATNISS AND PEETA!! He promised that he’d save one of them over the other, especially swearing to Katniss that he’d prioritize Peeta. In the end, he couldn't and saved Katniss instead because she’s a more popular figurehead for the rebellion. It obliterated his relationship w Katniss for a while, and I can imagine it fucked Haymitch up too that he couldn't save his precious bread boy. I can probably go for another hour defending Haymitch over this decision, but that’s another yap sesh for another time!!!

When I’m bent over wishing it was over—making a variety of vows I’ll never keep—I try to remember the wrath of the devil was also given him by God.

This lyric has 2 meanings. 1) the singer’s suffering is part of God's plan to make them more resilient and 2) God is being a dick and screwing them over so there's really no point in begging. And guess what? BOTH MEANINGS APPLY LOL I’ll start off with the latter. God in this case is the government, especially Snow, since he has a similar kind of power that God holds. Haymitch believes that all his misery is unending, unstoppable, and meaningless, so there's really no point in being optimistic. He should just lie down and wait for liver failure to take its course. THEN Katniss and Peeta come along, which flips his entire world upside down. This could connect with the optimistic interpretation. Haymitch’s 23 years as a victor were given meaning because of how integral they were to the rebellion. Maybe K&P had to show up at just the right time for their impact to be its greatest and for the rebellion to spark (timing that God would have planned), so all that waiting around and suffering was worth it. Haymitch probably doesn't know who tf God is anyway but it's still a fun thought.

In conclusion, Suzanne Collins possessed Mitski in her sleep to write a song about Haymitch and only I’ve been able to decode it because I’m obsessed with him and Mitski’s music in equally deranged levels. Y’all should listen to the song btw its great. Honestly, it took me a couple listens to warm up to it but it really is one of my favorite Mitski songs :>

Yk what while we're in the subject of Mitski songs that fits Haymitch, here's a quick list of songs (which aren't necessarily made by Mitski) I associate w that guy

I Bet on Losing Dogs- Not as well as Bug Like an Angel ofc, but if you view the losing dogs as Haymitch's tributes then shit makes sense a lot more.

Cool About It (Boygenius)- HAYFFIE and a bit of Chaffnathy! I accidentally wrote an essay so maybe I'll make another post yapping about this song, but just know that the 1st verse is Chaff's, the 2nd is Haymitch's, and the 3rd is Effie's.

Over and Over (Rio Romeo) and Alcoholic Friends (the Dresden Dolls)- Both about addiction again, so naturally its Haymitch's song now lol

[mystery--mist]

Hey mist, if you watch Helluva Bosses' new episode You be in a surprise involving uhhh....New Sins?

Sorry for the late answer aaaah!! I always take my time to answer properly asks but again, so busy, sorry!

I watched the episode immediately and I enjoyed so much! Seeing all the sins together (except Lucifer) made me truly happy aaaah So far my fav episode!

I love seeing they have kind of "Royal Hellish Trial" with the 7 sins in Hell for this kind of things or serious matters. I guess Lucifer is the one who judges by default since he is the King of Hell. But since Lucifer is absent due to his depression issue, and Hazbin Hotel events I guess, Satan is the second in charge by their hierarchy of Rings. The Trial is so epic and cool how is set up. The big throne up there is hella epic and the rest of sins under it.

I guess Satan made his own "throne" to don't touch the Royal one due to respect. I mean, if you sit down in a throne not yours is disrespectful and insulting in this kind of hierarchy and society. Although Lucifer can care less in his current state :")

Also I noticed the Sins wear other different outfits (Asmodeus, Mammon and Beelzebub), I guess their royal outfits as princes/princesses of the sins (or Kings/Queens dunno). I think this alternative outfits represent the circus roles once more.

Lucifer, The Ringmaster

Satan, The Strongman

Mammon, The Clown

Beelzebub, The Animal Tamer

Asmodeus, The Fire Breather

Belphegor, The Magician

Leviathan, The Freak Show

Some are obvious, others are more ambiguous, still not sure about Leviathan but I'm sure Belphegor is related to magic.

Satan design is so damn epic and hot!!

No wonder why Bee mentioned he was hot and wanted to fuck him in her episode XD This dragon daddy looks and sounds truly sexy-hot. That deep voice is quite menacing and authoritative.

Dragons are majestic and threatening, it fits so great with Satan, quite powerful vibes. Also I like the detail he has another second pair of horns similar to male Imps, that says a lot of the character as creator of the Imp species. Dragons are lizards and Imps have a kinda demon-lizards aspect as well with the tail, horns and red skin. The same traits that Satan has. Quite wise design ^^

Also the good representation of his own sin, Wrath, he has anger issues so he has a lil demon to help him to manage and control them XD Yeah it's the best to stay calm, you can't judge someone and make decisions when your emotions control you.

Belphegor design is so pretty and adorable, so fluffy!

I thought she was a giraffe for the long neck and the candle reminded to a giraffe horn, but can be also a llama because llamas have fluffy hair :")

I always loved the fact she has a candle on the head. Candles can represent the subconscious or dream world, due to she represent Sloth sin and sleeps a lot, fits quite well, also candles can represent knowledge, and I believe Bee mentioned she had medicines, powerful drugs surely and ingredients. The field of medicine is known as a field where you must have enough/high knowledge about what you are doing and using to create said medicine. Once more fit with her. And of course, candles in christian mythology represent the Soul. The eyes partner also is related to the Soul or mystic symbols.

Can't wait to hear her voice and see her personality to know more about her ^^

Leviathan design looks rad!

I didn't expect 2 heads in her design but it doesn't bother me!

I love the marine aesthetic, well since is marine monster in the mythology :"D I like the trait of the 2 heads because I believe it represents well her sin Envy since it exists the 2 kind of Envies: Malicious Envy and Benign Envy. Unlike the popular tradition, Envy doesn't represent the typical angry jealous person, you can also feel envy without having bad intentions.

The Malicious Envy, represented by the snake head, more skeptical and stoic. The one that has negative connotations, the typical, bad wishes and toxic emotions (fury, resentment, frustration) toward the other person. Destructive behavior towards yourself and the other person.

The Benign Envy, represented by the friendly head, less toxic than the other and more positive. This envy feel admiration for the other person and wants to emulate it. For example, if someone wears a beauty dyed hair that you like, you want also that dyed hair, or when you want to emulate your idol and be like them of cool (typical in teens). This envy also want to surpass yourself, set ambitious goals and motivate yourself. Although benign envy also stems from a lack of personality because you only want what others have without stopping to think about what you truly want. But in general, is less destructive.

I also must mention, dunno which head has more control over the body, maybe both and sometimes one win to the other. But when Mammon tries to flirt with Levy the first time.

The friendly head seems to be ok with Mammon while the Snake one is annoyed and take the control of the body to avoid him which results in the other head look surprised by the sudden action and gets angry with her other head, she didn't agree with the action.

Can't wait also to hear her voice and know more about her when she has her own episode.

⊹˚₊‧──────────────❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤──────────────‧₊˚⊹

Side extra personal note: I like how Vivzie represents the Deadly Sins characters, not because of the design but mainly cause of their personality/behavior. People complains they are not the stereotypical Sins so no accurate and "bad design", "no original", which I disagree. It would be quite boring if they were like the typical design of each Sin, that YES WOULD BE NO ORIGINAL AT ALL. I like them because they are different in fact. And people who makes redesigns ONLY as degatory intention and play the card "I fix your design" are quite nasty, honestly. The great most of them create mediocre designs, very generic and without any personality. And of course, about people that genuine enjoys playing with the designs and want to redesign them to explore their skills, they are totally ok for me ♥

⊹˚₊‧──────────────❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤──────────────‧₊˚⊹

I must mention, finally they addressed something I liked, Ozzy and Bee enjoy hang out with the lowest ranks. It seems nobody else except Mammon has a "problem" with that (?) I mean, yeah big drama, both levels of hierarchy interaction like equals, but since they are quite poweful and one of the most highest ranks in Hell, nobody should give a fuck about it. Mammon just being a bitchy about it because stupid classist. But yeah I like it exists dramas between the same Sins, some get along and others don't.

Asmodeus and Beezelbub totally sibling team power hehe High Five!

I like seeing part of Levy shows care for Mammon in the same frame XD

Also Satan just facepalm-ing because these 3 are fighting.

They are totally Siblings Family core! ♥

I also want to address this fact as well since I find important to remark. It seems Mammon has a good feeling with Leviathan, and maybe mutuals (just from her friendly side).

I mean, she was still angry with her other head/side and Mammon goes back and call her, quickly she genuinely smiles at him XD

I ship them :"D Are they in love, your Honor?

But anyway, being Mammon an asexual character, canonized in the promotional art for Pride Month, I want to say that it’s amazing to finally see an asexual person showing romantic interest and even, perhaps, a subtle sexual implication by asking Leviathan out. This is something I needed to see on screen because people often have a misguided perception of asexual individuals, assuming they can’t feel love, romantic interest, or sexual attraction towards others, which is entirely false. An asexual person can fall in love, have a partner, and engage in sexual relationships if they choose to. The asexual spectrum is broad, ranging from little to no interest in sex and/or romance. Not all asexual people share the same tastes or interests, and like anyone else from any other identity, they have their own preferences.

I hope Alastor fans stop defending the character like white knights and treating him as someone innocent and pure... Alastor can have a relationship if he wanted, yes, stop harassing people who ships him with another character only because you don't understand what is to be asexual, thank you ♥

And yes, like 4 mentions/references to Lucifer in the episode :"D He "exists"

And of course, Satan, King of Lies, just bitching XD

And the last thing I want to mention here is the symbols of every Sin Realm. Truly precious all of them!

Lucifer symbol being shattered, so meaningful due to his current state with the depression, the loss of someone, his absence.

And here the Sigils of every Demon Sin

Source image link

Which are real symbols in the demonology. Goetia demons also have sigils. I think you can see Stolas or Paimon ones as well

And in the trial as well, in their chairs are their sigils

And I guess the big pentagram there it represents the Trial of Satan

I think these all my thoughts about the Sins only so far :"D

[halfmoth-halfman]

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN, EXCEPT THE BUILDING IS 141!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOO BABY!!!

At first when I saw Canary had no gun wound, I was like - Did she not get shot??? Did someone else take the bullet for her??? (my memory do be bad, my bad - but the angst potential of someone else getting hurt in Canary's place...yummy) And then I was like, is she dead?? How's she gonna get her revenge on Graves and Makarov and Makarov's bratty daughter???😧

I'm glad you kept me on my toes with that lol.

Finally had an interaction with Adler.....in heaven. That talk was necessary for Canary, I think. I think nothing can motivate a jilted kid as much as their desire to enrage and spite their estranged parents. (Too relatable for me, cuz I'd have done the same lol) Even tho a lot of shit Adler said was unfounded, it did fuel the fire Canary needs to keep going, especially if she wishes to enact revenge on those who wronged her. And you wrote this scene beautifully! (but I also wonder if this talk, esp with Adler being all "Trust no one" would make Canary paranoid af and refuse any help from 141. Or maybe she'd accept their help in taking down Price/Makarov, but would be hella distant and try to remove herself from the entire '141 is family' thing they've got going on?)

And Price is now in jail cuz Graves framed him for attempted murder????? Oh hell to the nah!

Like idek what Price and Canary are now, after everything that has happened. But if Graves goes around framing my Price for something he did, they'd be hell to pay. I'd raise a fucking riot, bitch!

As always, amazing chapter. And I can only wait for what would happen next. Does Canary recover? Does she get Price out of jail? Does she have a run in with Makarov, or Graves? What would Shephard say to her if she just barged into the police station and demand him to release Price as he did not murder her, since she's standing in front of him....alive? So many questions and theories to ponder over, hm....Can hardly wait for where the story goes! Have a great weekend, Moth. You deserve it after serving us with such delicious fic updates <3333

- 🍄 anon

alskdjasdlas i'm sorry all i could think about from that first sentence is canary coming back from the dead and just being like:

eggman voice: "i've come to make an announcement. phillip graves is a bitch ass motherfucker!"

ok so before i decided canary was going to get shot, i toyed with the idea of someone take a bullet for her instead. there was a very brief moment, where this chapter was going to end in either price or ghost's death, but i love them both too much and they need to have their redemption so i couldn't do that to them LOL

i agree, i think it was necessary for canary. she needed that push from adler, someone to light that fire in her in a way that only he really knew how to do. he knows how to push her buttons, how to get under her skin in just the right way to get her to act, but this time she's taking things into her own hands. and like, of course, she wants to get revenge of graves for her own reasons but choosing to go back and break down her father's golden child just to spite him? if there's one thing the adler family is good at, it's being petty.

adler definitely left a lasting mark of paranoia on her, and i think she'd be hesitant to trust the 141 even if he didn't just because of the events of the past five months. however, she does know she's going to need their help at least while she recovers, so i don't think she'd immediately burn that bridge. though who's to say what she might do once she's back on her feet. i guess it would depend on if the 141 tries to make it up to her, and if she wants to be in a more forgiving mood 👀

price sure is in jail, i wonder what's going to happen there. the rest of the 141 seemed stressed and surprised to see canary awake, imagine price sitting in a cell for however many weeks thinking she's dead and it's all his fault. :)

i don't think even price and canary know what they are. they certainly know they aren't together, but i imagine price still has major feelings for her (now paired with a lovely glass of guilt) so it would probably be up to canary whether to try and rebuild that relationship or not.

it'll be interesting to see what graves tries to do, esp now that canary is def not dead and actively trying to take him down. even more, it'll be interesting to see what shepherd does in light of this new information.

so many questions and theories!!! i'm so excited to see what everyone comes up with in the time between chapters omg

thank you so much, and i hope you have an amazing day and week!! 💜

[theancientdarkbeauty]

Payday 3 theory for New Character Designs

This is hella long, so the rest of it is under the cut, but if you want to see why that "Collar" is on Wolf and Dallas, from a lore and character design perspective, please click the "Read More"

Alright, you clicked, so you wanna know, what do I think the metal collars on Wolf and Dallas's necks are. For Wolf, you might think he was committing to the Dog Bit TM, but then you see an identical one on Dallas's neck, and he has no associations with canines of any sort in all of his years of being The Face of the Payday Gang (except for, of course, liking dogs on a casual level, he was on a team with John Wick after all, which could be counterargumented (Not a real word I know) by "but Jacket was on that team as well, and in his games, he is known for killing a good score of Doberman Pinschers" which is a bit of a theory for a different time) So the next thing you can assume, as you dirty minded Tumblr users, and as I've seen some other people say, is that they're just kinky bitches, to which I say BEGONE THOT! But in all seriousness I don't think Starbreeze would intentionally add something so noticeable to two of their most beloved characters and their only reason being "The tumblr and 34 community can logically go ApeShit now) Oh no no no my friends, if I can entertain your eyes for perhaps a paragraph longer, I'll tell you why that kinky shit in that google doc for Payday 3 with WolfHox using that collar thing would quickly devolve into more of a bloody angst story, logically.

You see, in short, these collars are helping them breath. Weird, right? But let me explain! Because, when you think about it anatomically, it will actually make a lot of sense. Lets take a look at our heisters in question real quick:

Wolf and Dallas respectively. Now, do you notice anything? (Besides, Dallas being bugged, this game works as intended) The collar is on the same place on both of their necks, right in their jugulars (yes you have 2, one for each side) Right on the Interior Jugulars/ Internal carotid arteries, though, considering the circumstances, probably the carotid arteries. This is common place knowledge, but for those who don't know, Wolf is very close to Hoxton, shown in game through various nicknames they give each other, and Dallas is the oldest of the OG four, being 44 at the time of Payday 2 (since I don't know the exact gap in time from 2 to 3, but if it is 10 years, like rumored, that means he is 54 as of "today") For reference, the other oldest character, Chains, was 37 at the time of Payday 2, Wolf 34, and Hoxton being a fucking child at 32. So, Dallas is an old man, and he's been smoking since... well the first game (that is 100% confirmed.) so his lungs are fucking WRECKED. But, why is this related? If Dallas's lungs are heavily damaged, running, vaulting, sneaking around, and doing normal heistery stuff, his lungs wouldn't be able to keep up with the oxygen needed to run his brain/other body functions. So, Dallas's lungs are wrecked, yeah, duh, but why would Wolf, the second youngest little man, need this "collar"? Also simple, he's a heartsick bastard.

Wolf lost his best friend, Hoxton, for 2 whole years, do you really think that this man, who basically lost everything, his company, his wife, his kids, his sanity, and now his best friend, wouldn't take to some pretty destructive habits? 2 years of chain-smoking and drinking and doing whatever he could to get his mind off it (be it committing violences or building machines) wouldn't take a toll on him? His lungs would be 100% destroyed, even after only 2 years, because, if I had to take a guess, he started those bad habits when he initially lost his job and went on a rampage. That man has probably been smoking for at least 2 years casually (with periods of mental breakdown chain-smoking) and then 2 more years of hard chain-smoking, non stop, destroying his body. Though, statistically, it takes 15-20 years to fuck up your lungs as bad as maybe Dallas's would be, so whatever Wolf was doing to get himself on that collar device thing must have been pretty hard core.

BUT I'M GETTING OFF TRACK!!! You clicked read more because you wanted to know what I thought the collars did! My thoughts? They artificially pump oxygen into our beloved heisters blood streams, to give them the stamina and brain function they used to have, but still probably being cheaper than a lung transplant. (A quick google search will show you that, for both your lungs transplanted, it would be $1,295,900 in America. Crazy shit, especially for 2 people. Also, if the lungs and heart were damaged, the collar things would be basically a necessity if the guys wanna run around as much as they do in game (don't ask me why you can sprint for like a minute in a half straight in a light ballistics vest when they are all old men, I couldn't tell you). Why doesn't Hoxton have one? Probably because he's a stubborn bastard. Why doesn't Chains have one? He's just built different. The fact that these things are adding extra oxygen to people's blood would mean that the collars are imbedded in their necks, which means if some pulls on them, major ouchies (plus theirs a lot of nerves there and it's really just a whole mess of a time)

THERE YOU GO! This took me 4 days to write, off and on, so for the love of god I hope I got everything right. My area of expertise is reptiles, not humans, but story writing and character development were my first things studied. But this is all head cannons, nothing concrete yet! Anyways, thank you for sticking with the ramblings of a mad lad, and have a wonderful day/night!