any cosmo girl would have known
“Oh she did it for sure.”
“Steve!”
“Ten bucks, Bobert, don't give me that look last time we agreed double or nothing.”
“No,” Nancy insists. “This isn't Murder, She Wrote or Scooby-Doo or Columbo-”
“You saw who did it in Columbo at the beginning,” Eddie reminds.
“I know it's an awful show.”
Robin and Steve remain in sync enough to each get a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting on the coffee table to defend the only good cop show in existence.
“I'm only pointing out,” she rewinds the VHS taking it back the two or three minutes they'd talked over before stopping it completely, “that this is a movie, not a drama with a repeated format that Steve can pattern recognition into predicting.”
“You haven't seen it already, right?” Robin asks. “The one rule of Monthly Middle-Aged Movie Night is you have to pick a movie none of us have seen.”
“No, I haven't seen it already. If you'll all remember when I asked you each to go see it with me I got,” he points to each of them in turn. “‘Wouldn't you rather see Tomb Raider?’ from double VHS, prestige cinephile and ‘That's too much pink for me, baby, you know I have that intolerance, maybe Rob or Nance will go?’ from my emo-isn’t-a-phase husband. And ‘I'm a little busy with this new story, Steve,’ from Nancy, the only one of you with a real excuse.”
“Some feminist you are, Birdie.”
“I don't want to hear it from you. I watched two of the blandest men alive pursue Renee Zellweger while the screen writers tried to convince us she was homely because you ‘forgot’ you had band practice.”
“You said you liked it!”
“It grew on me, but sometimes you just want to see a woman in a tank top. And I won't be shamed by the same man who cried during Beauty and the Beast.”
“I went with my sweet baby Lucy Joan, you miserable hag,” Eddie says, “and they turned that hot werewolf into a boring looking man.”
“You weren't into that? Look at who-”
“Why am I getting made fun of? Can we finish the movie?”
“No, I'm not going to let this be another Sixth Sense situation,” Nancy says, holding the remote hostage, she knows no one will try to take it from her.
“Ugh don't even bring that up,” Eddie groans, “Dustin still mentions it in at least one letter a year.”
Nancy nods, prim and proper, “Exactly, so tell us right now why you think she did it, then we'll play it again.”
“Chutney, the daughter,” Steve corrects, “have you even been paying attention? Her hair's permed.”
“And press play,” Eddie shouts.
“No,” Robin smacks his hands as he makes his ballsy play to reach around her for the remote. “Show your work, Dingus, even I didn't follow that one.”
“I don't always like the movies everyone else picks but I at least watch them. Her hair is permed, she said she was in the shower. She would have had to have been washing her hair if she didn't hear the gunshot and she has a perm.”
“You can wash your hair with a perm,” Nancy points out.
“You would know.” Eddie snarks, fingering the ends of his own hair.
“You can't wash a fresh perm, you'll fuck up the ammonium thioglycolate. Then you're out forty bucks and you've got limp hair. She killed her dad and lied about being in the shower.”
“Press play,” Eddie decrees again, leaning in close to Steve's side to purr, “it's pretty sexy when you go all hair care detective.”
His hand starts to slip below the blanket. “This is how we ended up with Lucy in the first place,” Steve reminds him, just under the sounds of the courtroom drama picking back up. It doesn’t stop Eddie’s hand from wandering until the movie’s climax starts getting closer, and Eddie’s attention is captured just like Robin’s and Nancy’s.
“Unbelievable,” Robin says, when Elle cites the perm salt.
“Never again,” Nancy swears, when Chutney screams her confession.
“Lucy’s been asking for a brother or sister,” Eddie flirts, as Elle reveals that any good Cosmo girl could have solved it.
No more movies with mysteries or twist endings for a while, they all agree, Robin can’t afford to keep betting against Steve.
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Okay I gotta say your art + story have gotten my fanfic engines a churning and now I'm picturing AU with the bros starting out in the wildlife game but with Martin as an 18-19 year old and Chris as this 14 year old and it's more "panicked older brother trying to keep his baby bro safe" while they encounter poachers/dangers.
OKOK HEAR ME OUT....
Martin has legal guardianship over Chris (uhh parents gotta die for this i am so sorry mom and dad kratt but it's for the fanfiction so please forgive me) Which is why a 14 year old is able to join their research team. Martin is technically "homeschooling" him, (i mean technically he's learning on creature adventures so...)
Martin was offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join the Tortuga research program and Chris didn't want to be the reason that Martin held back on his dreams. So, Chris was basically like take me with you, I'll be good and stay out of trouble I promise. So basically Martin is trying to do his job while simultaneously juggling the responsibility of raising Chris. And the rest of the team helps out as well so they all become a little family and go on these adventures.
The rest of the team would step into older sibling roles as well: Aviva would teach Chris about programming and engineering, Koki would show him how the Tortuga runs and how to make small tune-ups, and Jimmy would teach him how to bake and play video games with him. JUST IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES
I don't think Aviva would make a CPS for him, Martin would lose his mind if she did. Chris was already a handful, he does NOT need to be running around as a gecko. Maybe she could make a less extreme version of the suit for him? Like a partial creature power suit, where it can give him traits of animals. Instead of turning into the whole leopard, it just gives him leopard claw gloves and a tail for balance. So a little kiddy version of the CPS. IDk it's just an idea.
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DC X DP - Danny Drake
Tim's parents didn't intend to have another child. One was plenty. And then an one drunken night resulted in Janet getting pregnant. It's a bit of a predicament, seeing as neither of them want another child (who will need to be fed and raised and stuff) but are also both generally against abortion. So, she rides out the pregnancy, limiting public appearances so it remains secret. She doesn't want to deal with the publicity her being pregnant would get her. It's too much drama. So she keeps it secret from everyone but her husband, and gives birth in a private hospital.
She refuses to sign the birth certificate. She doesn't want this baby tied to her. She doesn't even bother thinking of a name. She gives him away as soon as he's out. A yet-to-be-named newborn Danny is handed off to an orphanage as soon as he can be. The Drake parents go through medical procedures to ensure another pregnancy won't happen.
He stays there for a only a few weeks before an over-eager, excitable couple comes by with their young daughter, in search of a son to teach all their ghostly hunting ways to because for all Jazz, even so young, is smart, she has no interest in their research. Also, Maddie doesn't want to go through another pregnancy since her first one wasn't very enjoyable (she was in a lot of pain for most of those 9 months, basically unable to work on her research).
They see Danny and are quick to adopt him (well, as quick as you can be, but, with it being a Gotham orphanage, it's a lot quicker than it should be). Jack claims he can see the ghost hunter potential in him and Maddie thinks he's adorable. She's excited to have a little baby again to take care of and hold. She'd always wanted a big family, and while 2 children isn't really a lot, it's enough for someone as busy as her. Jazz is excited to have a little brother, and takes to reading books about babies and parenting to better take care of him. She loves holding him, and brags to all her friends about her baby brother, who's undeniably the cutest baby ever.
Danny grows up with the Fentons, not knowing he's adopted. Everything happens as it does in the show. And then, when Danny is 15, his parents take him to Gotham for a ghost hunter convention, Jazz busy with university hunting. Going to Gotham should've been a nice vacation for him. No ghost attacks for a good two weeks. Just Danny in Gotham - with free reign of the most crime ridden city in the world. Yeah this wasn't gonna' go well.
Gotham is dark. The air smells like sewage, death and bitter hope. The people feel like candles flickering in a storm, stubbornly refusing to go out. Danny decides he likes it. The hotel his parents choose is fancy (paid for by Vlad at the insistence that Maddie couldn't stay in some random, run down place after catching wind of their trip). Danny thought it suspicious but figured he'd deal with it when he needed to.
Anyway, Danny has his own room right across the hall from his parents. It's got a queen sized bed, full sized bathroom with a jacuzzi bathtub, a walk-in closet, a tv and a balcony. It's very nice. Danny sets his bags down and collapses onto his bed with a huff. He lays there for a minute, and then reaches for his phone to text Jazz, Sam and Tucker that he made it to the hotel safe (something they insisted on).
And then he stews.
Mum and Dad, for all their brilliance, can be forgetful when it comes to their children. Danny basically has free reign to do whatever for most of the 2 weeks they'll be in Gotham (which is his whole winter break and a little of the first week back).
Vlad's invited the Fentons to a few galas he's attending, insisting they'll be able to show off their inventions to a bunch of people. Danny knows its an excuse for Vlad to spend time with Maddie, make digs at Jack, and show him off as if he was his son. He's not looking forward to it, but the offer came with free, great hotel rooms so it could be worse.
(Plus, with Vlad paying he can spurge on room services and bleed him dry.)
Besides, Danny could do whatever he wanted the rest of the time. He could go to the planetarium and stuff. All he had to do was not out himself as a meta-adjacent person in a meta-hating city. Easy peasy.
All in all, what better time for all this to happen than on Christmas?
Honestly, even with the galas, the garish Christmas decorations all over the place, the music, and Vlad, this is seeming like a better Christmas than usual.
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We don’t talk nearly enough about how Jason Todd was only NINETEEN (19) years old when he took over Gotham’s Underworld.
Like you guys, 19 is a freshman in their first year of college. From experience most 19-year-olds have no idea what they’re doing half the time at this age. Over half of them barely knew how to write a good essay much less manage a whole criminal empire.
Do you know how many logistics are behind running a criminal empire? I don’t but I imagine it’s a lot!
Can you imagine the amount of time management, asset management, inventory, delegation, communication, analysis and planning skills one would need to have in order to pull that off?
Can you even fathom the fact that Jason manage to disturb the gang hierarchy and social structure and take near total control of it in a matter of weeks(months)?
Because that’s not something a normal 19 year old could do.
I think it speaks to how incredibly intelligent and hyper-competent Jason is, something that often gets downplayed to focus on his violence and physicality.
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hi hi! I love your angst with Lucifer so I just wanted to share something that's crossed my mind.
imagine lucifer depressed about the wife (either Lilith or reader) and with his ability to shape shift he sits in front of a mirror and transforms himself into her. this is a man who would have memorized every wrinkle, freckle, mole and everything that was her. He just fondles every curve and caresses her face gently with his fingers and over her hair wishing it was truly her.
or! additional angst, have a duplicate as the transformed wife and kissing her skin and pretending it's her and he's not essentially masturbating.
idk
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH
I like this very much 😈 so much angst and depression, and also kinda fucked up. Thank you for sharing your ideas!
I like to think that a lot of what Lucifer creates isn’t perfect. So I imagine he can create a clone of his wife or replicate her reflection but there’s always something obviously flawed there that he can’t ignore. It’s maddening, but it also keeps this man from pulling a Narcissus and staring at his own reflection for all time.
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