#he tries to be SO suave it's so funny. he's so cringe fail and i love it

[marbleboa]

I know he doesn't get talked about a lot, for good reason cause he's a pretty minor character, but I can't help but find Terada's general presence in the story really fucking funny. He's introduced as this cunning villain, presented as having the upper hand over Sakurai and Koyama--kind of an intimidating prospect after we've caught a glimpse of what they can do. He goes to find Mob with the goal of literally killing him, to 'nip a little trouble in the bud'.

...then he is immediately defeated by two psychic middle schoolers and easily gives out information after being waterboarded in a plastic bucket. In retaliation, he finally reveals his Super Secret Special Psychic Technique. After his ass is crushed by a tree after a couple minutes of fighting, said technique is later copied by one of the middle schoolers and done even better. Season 2 rolls around and he's shown to be on the 'good side' this time but none of the protags trust him. In the Shimazaki fight his main contribution is getting smacked out of the air by a street sign like a tennis ball before he manages an effective hit. Did I mention he wears this weird slutty t-shirt with a collar specifically made to expose his shoulder and part of his chest.

Seriously, man. What is that.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Hi I wanna know how would the tfa bots elite guard and cons react to meeting a female bot who is like Barbie who came to life by an allspark fragment and developing a crush on her

-Optimus feels ashamed of his crush because he doesn't think he's worth her. She's just so... so perfect. Beautiful, kind, funny, intelligent. She's got it all and Optimus doesn't. He'll probably try to avoid her for some time after realizing how he feels about her.

-If Optimus feels ashamed then Ratchet feels embarrassed. He's an old mech, past his best years and he's not supposed to go after some young, pretty bot that's just started figuring out life. Not to mention that he's long since given up on having a love life. Like Optimus he'll probably avoid her if possible in an attempt to smother these feelings.

-Despite his claims, Bumblebee don't have a lot of experience with lady-bots. You know what, scratch that. He's got ZERO experience. That doesn't mean he'll dive right in and do his best to impress her. Super nervous about making a fool out of himself but he masks this with false confidence. Starts stumbling over his words whenever she smiles at him though.

-Bulkhead in love is just so wholesome. He realizes he's got a crush on her when he finds himself painting nothing but portraits of her. Tries to woo her the old fashioned way, with flowers and poems about how pretty her optics are. Will ask her to model for his paintings as an excuse to spend time with her.

-For Prowl, him having a crush is divided in two parts. First, he ignores it. Ignores her. Tries to be smooth about how he leaves when she shows up but he's just desperately trying to avoid her so he won't fall deeper in love. But he can't focus on anything, all his thoughts keeps drifting back to her so eventually he accepts it. Now he's determined to woo her though he feels intimidated by how amazing she is. How is he supposed to prove himself?

-It's been centuries since Ultra Magnus last had a crush but he just can't help it with this bot. She's everything he looks for in a conjux. Graceful, gentle, determined, intelligent, kind. She would make a perfect First Conjux (cybertronian version of First Lady). Now, he's not been in the dating game since he was a new frame but he's still confident that he can muster up the old charm.

-Fuuuuuck, Sentinel is so damn annoying about his crush. He flirts, says a million different pick up lines that makes everyone else cringe yet he fails to notice how hard he's failing. In his mind, a perfect mech like him deserves nothing less than a perfect bot like her. Thinks she's got a crush on him just because he can't imagine otherwise. Tries to impress her all the time.

-Jazz, just like Sentinel, flirts, but he's so much better at it. At first the flirting is mostly playful, trying to test the waters and see if she's interested, and once he's more confident then he'll lay it on real thick. Loves coming up with improvised love songs on the spot, singing about her many amazing qualities.

-The jettwins, Jetfire and Jetstorm, are like two puppies the way they follow her around, desperate for any scrap of attention. Like, they are down BAD. They hang onto her every word and think she's the most incredible bot in the world. Desperately try to impress her.

-Every lord needs a lady and that includes warlords so of course Megatron is determined to make her his. While she's a little too kind for the position as Lady of the decepticons he doesn't mind it. Her intelligence and charm more than makes up for it. Super suave with his flirting.

-Starscream tries so badly to impress her, be it with his intelligence, power or by flying. He tries to to act confident and suave with her but the moment she does anything he feels completely lost because she does everything with such ease. She's naturally graceful, doesn't even have to try to make people like her and that's everything Starscream wishes he had.

-She's got Blitzwing's personalities rapid switching because they all want to spend time/look at her. Hothead's usual anger and bravado turns into a blustering mess around her and all he can say are simple sentences like "You're pretty" or "I want to hold your hand so badly". Gets so flustered by his admissions that he willingly switches out. Icy is better, he is calmer about his crush and tries to woo her by being a gentleman. Too bad Random suddenly switches in and ruins it by saying that he wants to eat her so they can be together forever. Awkward.

-Look, Lugnut already got a conjux that he loves and adores so he feels super guilty about his crush. Whenever he sees this bot he will shout at them to stay away, calling her a temptress. Secretly though he's wondering if Strika would like to meet her. He's pretty confident that she'd like this bot and she's always been up for a third.

-Shockwave is torn between acting professional and ogling her like an idiot. She's perfect in every way, sense and form and he'd be an idiot to just ignore her. But because she's so perfect he finds himself so taken off guard that he doesn't know how to react.

-Yeah, Blackarachnia feels terrible. She's got a crush on her bot at the same time she's super jealous. This bot is beautiful and highly sought after by everyone and she feels so lacking in comparison to them. Might try to flirt but honestly don't think it will go anywhere, even if they for some reason were interested. Blackarachnia simply couldn't bear constandly comparing herself to this perfect bot.

[starryluminary]

Honestly I want to know your opinion on Nemma. Because honestly I don’t like the ship either and want to see if someone agrees with me.

Oh my god hiiii nerd-chocolate!! I will GLADLY detail why I don’t like nemma. Buckle up cause I’m not exactly normal about this subject

I will preface this by saying I understand why it’s Noah and Emma. I get why if Noah had to have a girlfriend it would be someone who would match his intellect and someone he could hold a competent conversation with. Logically, on paper, I understand. It’s not so much the concept of Noah and Emma dating that I dislike, it’s the execution. The development of the relationship was a train wreck. HERES WHY!!!

From the very beginning Nemma showed problems. The Noah that couldn’t play a game of dodgeball for $100,000 and was so standoffish he could only make a good friend in Owen is now suddenly falling in love at first sight with a girl that did a front flip and I’m just supposed to accept it at face value??

You could argue that it’s been three years and a person could change in three years. I’d like to argue back: this is a cartoon. If the development happened offscreen, it didn’t happen. Noah had a drastic change in personality out of nowhere because they give us no reason to believe otherwise. This is just the beginning. It’s all downhill from here, honey.

This is very much subjective and a personal thing but do you know how irritating his face is.

It makes me ill. Who is this.

Back on track, Noah is out of character the rest of his time competing (not that he was perfectly in character to begin with.) Both the way he treats Owen and how he acts regarding Emma is not believable to me. He’s tragically mean to Owen almost the entire time and he’s insufferably… inconsistent? When it comes to Emma? Like they didn’t exactly have pinned down how he should act when he’s in love so it changes with every episode.

[I did a bit of research regarding the more important Nemma episodes and their writers, but couldn’t draw any good conclusions from it. I did find out Laurie Elliot wrote both Slap Slap Revolution from World Tour (notorious for the most significant Noco moments of the season) and New Beijinging (where Nemma is at its worst in my opinion.) This isn’t all that relevant but it IS fucking hilarious. The writer responsible for “Cody’s got a tiny sausage!” being made to (co) write a Nemma episode and subsequently butchering it is reeeeeally funny to me.]

On the topic of New Beijinging. I cannot watch this episode uninterrupted and it’s because of Nemma. I despise it. It’s not that I don’t believe Noah would act like a bumbling fool in love… in concept. In CONCEPT, I can buy the failed one liners and the speaking your thoughts out loud and the acting out to try and impress her. In practice it’s so painful to watch. The Noah that said he’s incapable of being embarrassed in his WT biography is now spitting hot food in his love interests face and physically recoiling every time he tries to talk to her. I can’t express through text the pain and anguish it causes me.

This is ALSO after giving her a suave one liner in the previous episode. How does he go from cool and collected to cringing at her I- AAAGGHHHH.

They don’t suddenly get better when the feelings are mutual, either. They just become insufferable together and it’s tragic. This is specifically about Māori or Less and Got Venom? (though admittedly I haven’t gotten that far in my rewatch and don’t remember Got Venom? too vividly. I do know they’re annoying in it even to Owen and Kitty so.) They just become so infatuated with each other they forget the rest of the world exists and while I enjoy the CONCEPT……… it just manages to drag down both characters. At least they treat Emma with a little more respect and have her snap out of the haze to play the damn game but THEY END UP KNOCKING OUT NOAH INSTEAD. Pain agony suffering and woe. Noah going catatonic and leaving Owen to struggle is the worst it gets but he still never truly focuses on the game and even hopes to get kicked off. He won’t even play for Owen.

Do I even have to mention Owen. My poor guy Owen. Owen suffers an unnecessary amount for Nemmas development. It hurts my heart even thinking about it but I’ll list off examples. Ways Owen has suffered for the sake of the relationship include:

Being made to carry dead weight (Noah) on more than one occasion.

Being used as a flotation device, offered by Noah to Emma, after being frozen solid.

Being forced to wait for the sister team, making his team go from first place to seventh.

Being victim to Noah’s snark and insults, which he does to either impress Emma or to reprimand Owen because of something Emma related.

LOSING THE RACE CAUSE NOAH COULD ONLY FIND THE ENERGY TO MOVE WHEN HE WAS OFFERED A KISS FROM EMMA.

(Side note: have I ever mentioned that RR Noah is my enemy? I feel like I don’t mention it enough)

To wrap this up, I do genuinely believe Nemma could have been great. I don’t hate Nemma cause I thought Noah was gay, or I’m a Noco shipper, or any other superficial reason. I hate it cause it’s a terribly written relationship that had to completely destroy my favorite character of the series to try and make it work. It’s a damn shame, really. I wish I could look past how different Noah is and how badly he treats Owen and how sickly annoying he and Emma can be and just, at the very least, tolerate Nemma. But I can’t, and I never will.

[twiixr4kidz]

random romantic headcannons of your favorite total drama character/s go !!

– bat anon 🦇 >:]]

oh hell yeah!! >:)) here's a couple of my favs <3

tdi dating hcs for my fav characters!!

cody (literally my all time favorite i love him):

he's kinda a dumbass

but a lovable one

he panics at any advances you make

he tries to act suave and totally fails

HE DOES THAT THING WHERE HE COMES UP TO YOU AND TRIES TO LEAN ON THE NEAREST OBJECT WHILE MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH YOU AND THEN HE FALLS AND YOU HAVE TO RUSH HIM TO THE ER CUZ HE JUST SHATTERED LIKE 7 BONES AND STARTED SPEAKING IN TONGUES

his love languages are physical touch and acts of service

aka he's super clingy and he does literally everything for you even though you don't need his help

he's a sweetheart :(( i love him

he is the type of mf to not make you a playlist, BUT BURN SONGS ONTO A CD FOR YOU AND USE SHARPIES TO DOODLE ON IT

he loves making little artsy things for you

izzy:

this bitch is batshit crazy and that's why i love her

imagine a calm, quiet life inside a cabin in the woods

okay, now throw that entire dream away

because izzy is so far from calm and quiet

this girl is an OUTLAW

she's always on the run and going on these bizarre adventures (LOL), and she's going to drag her wonderful partner with her

skydiving, jetskiing, face-planting off of a 70 foot tall mountain into a giant pool of cotton candy

you name it, she's going to do it with you

she's also very clingy; even when you're warm, she's going to be hanging off of you like a baby koala

she's bad at expressing her love for you but she makes you feel it through the things she does

she gives you like, awful nicknames

like they're just TERRIBLE but she thinks they're funny and likes the way you cringe when she calls you them

you have gotten called a "pookie wookie boo bear" in front of your entire close family and you still aren't sure if they realized she was being ironic

bridgette:

she's one of the most nonchalant partners you could ever ask for

she's so sweet? literal queenshit

she's a naturally pretty sporty person and she loves to share her passions with people she cares about, so you're going to play sports with her regardless

even if you totally suck, she's going to help you do your best

a sucker for having her hair played with

it literally puts her to sleep

run your fingers through her hair, brush it, style it, whatever

totally hogs the sheets though

loves doing skin care with you

the two of you are going to be sitting on her floor with face masks on while she paints your nails, and there's probably gonna be some shitty reality tv program blaring from a laptop and that's okay

duncan:

he's a risk-taker and a half

he loops you into all kinds of trouble, but intentionally and unintentionally and as duncan's partner, it's something you've gotten used to

he gets you lots of stuff

sometimes he pays for it, other times he doesn't, but that doesn't matter (or so he says)

"babe, are you sure this is safe?" "not at all, would holding my hand help?" "WHAT"

he's bad at words and awkward when it comes to physical affection but he does try

he loves spending time with you, whether it's late-night drives with the music blaring or WALKING through a mcdonald's drive-through

everything is better with you there

and even though he sucks at communicating it, he tries to show you how much he loves you all the time

even if it's not obvious

dj:

so vocal abt how much he loves you

words of affirmation are indeed his shit

he makes you feel so loved and appreciated; you're literally the person EVER in his eyes

and he's going to make you feel like the only person in the world

LOVES paying for like, super fancy outings for the two of you

he can and will find a reason to celebrate every saturday just so you two can go to a fancy upscale restaurant that you really like

he also adores spending time with you outside

just laying on a grassy, flower-covered hill in the sunlight, pointing out the shapes of clouds, or sitting on the porch before dinner as it pours

OH SPEAKING OF FLOWERS??

this man is like, a bouquet connoisseur

shows up to your house on random occasions and gives you flowers

why?

because he can <3

gwen:

WOAH

pretty goth girl <3

homegirl gives you so many snacks? you go over to her house once and you're completely loaded

like she's got a minifridge and everything

she can and will do your makeup too, if you want her to ofc

draws all sorts of pictures for you

she'll give you pages out of her sketchbook, little doodles on your arm, full-blown painted portraits of you, the whole thing

she also writes a lot so you can bet she's written at least 5 poems about you

she's like lowkey clingy? so she definitely texts you A LOT

BUT NOT IN A SCARY "TEXTING YOU 500 TIMES EVERY 10 MINUTES" KINDA WAY

she steals your clothes all the time

and if you're the same size in clothes? you guys are gonna be trading clothes all the time

she just loves dressing you up and buying you stuff she's so cool

owen:

LITERAL SUCKER FOR GIVING YOU THINGS

you're like, the only person he'll willingly share his food with

he also loves making food for you? and he's a really good cook

he's perfectly fine with having nights in the house; just chilling on the couch and watching movies and stuff like that

but he also loves leaving the house

he's a really chill person, and he's super fun to be around too? so while your relationship is pretty lax, it's also super hyper

just literal chaos

his love language is words of affirmations

homeboy talks you up and down about how attractive you are, how great you are to be around, how he wouldn't be complete without you

it's sickeningly sweet and you couldn't ask for anything else

HE PROBABLY TEASES YOU A LOT TOO??

HE'S SUPER TALL SO EVEN IF YOU'RE LIKE, AN INCH SHORTER THAN HIM, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE BUTT OF "LOL SHORT" JOKES FOR THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND ONWARD

harold:

he is such a nerd.

IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE

super awkward but a sucker for intimacy

he does. the same thing as cody where he tries to act suave and then fucks it up

except he doesn't fall over his feet and trip, he falls over his words and then gets embarrassed that he forgot how to talk

so easily flustered

he teases you relentless too, so just look at him in a certain way or something like that and he's gonna be like "oh fuck oh fuck ohfuckohfuckohfuck"

asks to play video games with you, and then kicks your ass

loves loves LOVES listening to you talk about your interests; he's super attentive and the sound of your voice is super comforting to him

he absolutely asks you questions about it too

[waitimcomingtoo]

Plank all over me was so good!! Could you make a part 2? Maybe they got invited to another interview and was challenged to do couple yoga poses?

Plank All Over Me 2- Yoga Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Plank All Over Me

Masterlist

Requests are SO INCREDIBLY CLOSED

“Hello everyone, I’m Tom Holland.” Tom opened the video.

“And I’m seriously wondering why I keep agreeing to stuff like this.” You quipped. Tom gave you a fond look at your familiar banter.

“Because you had such a great time last time that you wanted to do it again.” Tom said to you. “Sound familiar?”

You shot Tom a look for playing dirty. He was, of course, referring to your first date. Your chemistry was so potent that your second date was planned with an hour into the first one. Tom had teased you that night for being so eager to plan another one, but he was secretly planning your third and fourth in his head so it all evened out. Hell, the boy was already imagining what flowers would line the alter at your wedding. Roses, for those wondering, to match your perfume.

But the third date never happened, not after the events of the second one. It had gone perfectly, just like the first one had. He pulled out your chair for you, held your hand, made you blush, all the things he should. He was funny and smart and sweet. You couldn’t have been more enchanted with him. At the end of the night, Tom walked you to your door step like a true gentleman. He started to lean in for the kiss, and you did to. At the last minute, the flash of a camera caught your attention. You panicked, thinking it was a paparazzi, and pulled him into a hug instead. It ended up being your neighbors camera, but the damage was already done. You still cringed at the memory of his hesitant hug back. You cursed yourself for not kissing him that night. It made things awkward between the two of you today.

“Not at all.” You short back. “I’m Y/n L/n and since you guys liked our Plank All Over Me challenge for some reason, we were asked to come back and do the yoga challenge.”

“I also enjoyed the Plank All Over Me challenge.” Tom piped up with a cheeky grin. You were glad he was acting normal for the camera. You only hoped he wasn’t hurting on the inside.

“Yeah, I think you enjoyed it a little more than me.” You matched his flirty banter with your own.

“I was gonna say I enjoyed it a lot more than you, but sure.” Tom shrugged with a happy smile. “I guess that can be said about a lot of things.” Tom muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.

You felt your heart sink. He was referring to the date again. He thought you didn’t enjoy it. To the best of your ability, you tried to silently tell him with your eyes that you loved the date, you just got too scared to kiss him.

“Can we get started so this can end faster? Please?” You pretended to beg the crew. Tom laughed and bit his lip as he admired you in your cute little pink yoga outfit. You wore pink sweatbands and wristbands to match each other, a decision you made all on your own with no crew involved. From his side, he wasn’t mad at you. He was just upset that you didn’t feel the way he did. That didn’t stop him from finding you gorgeous, and definitely didn’t stop him from wanting you.

“Here’s your first pose.” A crew member turned a laptop around to show you the following image:

“That’s the first pose? What’s the second pose? Third base?” You asked in shock. There was no way you were gonna achieve that position.

“God I hope so.” Tom laughed. He suddenly got serious and pointed at the camera. “I’m kidding. Respect women.” You laughed until he added under his breath, “We haven’t even gone to first base.”, making your face fall.

“Someone get me out of here.” You kept you the act of hating being there as you prepared to recreate the pose.

“Come on. We can totally do this one.” Tom clapped and got on his back. “Give me your hands.”

“This man just wants to hold my hand.” You teased.

“Yes, and?” Tom joked, making you roll your eyes before giving him your hands. “You should get on my feet while my knees are bent, and then I’ll lift you. Okay?”

“You sound like you speak from experience.” You poked fun at him as you laced your fingers with Toms. You couldn’t ignore how right it felt to be with him in that way.

“Well if my acting career failed, I was gonna be a yoga instructor.” Tom said simply while concentrating on keeping you steady.

“Really?” You asked in surprise.

“No.” Tom laughed as you rested your tummy on the bottom of his socked feet. You held on tightly to his hands and pushed yourself off the ground so you were hovering over him.

“Do you feel secure?” Tom asked.

“Not in the slightest.” You quipped.

“Then up you go.” Tom smiled as he straightened his legs, lifting you fully off the ground. Both your bodies shook before you slipped a little, causing you to grip Toms hand as hard as you could.

“There, there. I got you, love.” Tom said softly as he slowly straightened his legs again. “I won’t let you fall. Don’t worry.” He assured you. He spoke so softly that you knew in your heart it wasn’t for the cameras. He showed a genuine concern for you that made your heartbeat quicken. Or maybe that was due to the fact you were suspended in the air over an incredibly suave and handsome Brit.

“Is this it? Are we doing it?” Tom said in a strained voice. You were so caught up in his charm that you hadn’t realized you actually did the pose.

“You got it.” A crew member gave you a thumbs up. Tom carefully let you down, and stood up, still holding your hand. You bit back a smile and he pretended not to notice.

“Next pose.” The member called.

You leaned against Toms shoulder as you studied the next position you had to get into.

“I don’t know about this one.” You sighed against his shoulder.

“We can do it.” Tom said confidently.

“There’s no way you can keep yourself up.” You shook your head and raised your eyebrows at Tom to taunt him. He accepted your challenge with a smirk.

“Yes I can!” He defended. “Look at this bicep.” Tom once again flexed his bicep for you and you once again felt it. You pretended to be unimpressed.

“No. You’re gonna fall.” You sighed sarcastically to push him even more.

“I can totally keep myself up.” Tom said firmly.

“You couldn’t even keep all 13 colonies.” You bit your tongue between your teeth to keep from laughing at the shock that crossed Toms face.

“Wow.” Tom touched a hand to his chest and pretended to be offended. He then leaned in to whisper in your ear, “First she doesn’t let me kiss her, and then she insults my heritage? Ouch.”

“Sorry.” You chirped and gave him a sickly sweet smile. “About both things.” He couldn’t resist his urge to grin before getting into a plank.

“Just get on my back and then I’ll lift myself up, okay?” Tom said.

“Are you sure you’ve never done this?” You accused again, making Tom smile to himself.

“Positive, love.” He said. “I spend my free time reading “How to Pick Up Girls For Dummies”.”

“How’s that working out for you?” You asked as you held onto his ankles.

“Pretty well, I’d say.” Tom remarked as he literally picked you up to complete the pose. You rolled your eyes at his humor and straightened your arms.

“Quit looking at my ass!” Tom suddenly snapped.

“I’m not!” You protested.

“I know, but you should be.” Tom said with a smirk. “You’re at its best angle.”

“I don’t even want to know how you know that.” You grumbled as Tom let you down. He stood up and straightened his shirt before looking into the camera.

“For the record, when I first tried on the spiderman suit, I was surrounded by mirrors.” Tom informed the room. “So yes, I know all my angles. All of them.”

“Next one?” You asked the crew to drive the conversation away from Toms ass. The crew showed you an image and your jaw dropped.

“This one looks easy. We just get on our knees, put our pelvises together, and lean back.” Tom shrugged at it’s simplicity.

“We can’t do that pose.” You shook your head in fear.

“Why not?” Tom asked.

“I’ll get pregnant.” You said as if it were obvious. Tom burst out laughing at your words.

“Pregnant? I haven’t even kissed you yet.” Tom reminded you, making your cheeks flush.

“Yet?” You raised an eyebrow and gave him a suggestive grin as you both got on your knees. Tom gripped your hips and pulled you close.

“Oh, mark my words Y/n. I will get that kiss.” Tom whispered in your ear before leaning all the way back. You did the same until a crew member said you could stop.

“Last one.” They said and showed you the image.

“Okay, for this pose it looks like you do a plank and then I do a handstand in front of you and place my feet on your lower back.” You mapped out your plan for the pose. Tom listened intently to your words.

“And then we kiss.” Tom nodded along.

“No!” You laughed in surprise.

“They’re kissing in the picture!” He pointed time the screen. They were in fact kissing in the picture.

“That’s not a part of the pose!” You protested. “Wait a minute, are these couples poses?”

“Did you just figure that out?” Tom laughed at how naive you were to the concept of the video.

“You knew?” You gasped.

“Of course I knew. Why do you think I agreed to do this?” Tom joked as he got into a plank. You stood over him and slowly put your hands on the ground in front of his head.

“I just figured you loved yoga.” You replied as you bent over his face. Figures, he’s even cuter upside down.

“No, I love…” Tom trailed off and shook his head. “Yeah, yoga’s great. I love yoga.”

“Do you?” You giggled as you kicked yourself up into a handstand and rested your feet in his back. Tom looked up and you were suddenly mere centimeters from each other’s lips. You could see why the couple polished their pose off with a kiss. You were in perfect position for a classic Spider-Man kiss. The shy blush on Toms face let you know he was thinking the exact same thing.

“Can’t get enough, actually.” Tom said with a cheeky grin. “I’d do yoga all day if I could.” He remarked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Again with the innuendos? I cannot catch a break.” You groaned as you got off of Tom and laid on the ground to face him. He lowered himself onto the ground and rolled next to you. You gave him a soft smile.

“Hi stranger.” You said lowly so the cameras wouldn’t hear. It wasn’t for them. It was all for him.

“Hi yourself.” Tom spoke at the same gentle tone.

“You know, if these cameras weren’t here I would’ve-“

“Would have what?” Tom cut you off. “Done exactly what you did the last time the cameras were there?” He asked a little bitterly before getting up. You sighed before getting up yourself. He was hurt, and it was your fault. You shouldn’t have made that comment. He probably felt like you were ashamed to be seen with him. First the dodged kiss in front of your house, and now this. Tom didn’t have to say anything for you to know he was hurting. You’d blown it, completely and truly.

“This has been the Yoga Challenge with Tom Holland.” Tom pointed to you with a fake smile. You swallowed and put on a fake smile of your own.

“And Y/n L/n. Thanks for watching and we’ll see you next time.” You waved to the camera.

“If there is a next time.” Tom shrugged with the same frozen smile. “Because sometimes you think there will be and then there isn’t.”

Awkward silence filled the studio when no one knew what to say in response to Toms comment. The crew had no idea what he was talking about, thus making your entire face burn with embarrassment.

“Welp, good bye everybody!” He gave a friendly wave until the cameras cut away. Tom walked off set without a word to you. You watched him, heartbroken, as he walked away before sulking off set as well.

You sat in your dressing room, just staring at yourself in the mirror as you wallowed in self pity. Last time you were in your dressing room all alone, Tom came to ask you out for the first time. You had a sickening feeling he wouldn’t be coming around this time. Just as you were ready to pack up and go home, there was a knock at your door.

“Hey.” Tom said sheepishly as you opened the door. You rested your head against the door and gave him a grateful smile.

“Hey.” You said back. No further conversation ensued.

“Ooo. My favorite. Awkward silence.” Tom said after what felt like hours. You grimaced and looked down.

“Sorry.” You answered. And then you didn’t say anything else. You’d been on two dates with this man, planked over this man, and done couples yoga in matching sweatbands with this man and all you could think of to say to him was “sorry.”

“No, thats actually why I’m here. I wanted to apologize for how I acted during the video.” Tom said sincerely to your surprise. “You don’t owe my anything. Not a kiss, a date, an explanation, nothing. I’m sorry I acted like I was entitled to more of you than you were willing to give me.”

“Oh, Tom.” You sighed. Now he was apologizing when it was you who made things awkward. You should’ve just kissed him that night, no matter who saw. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Can you start with telling me what happened on our last date? I thought it went perfectly and then I tried to kiss you and you just…” Tom imitated your awkward hug with himself and you laughed sadly.

“I panicked.” You admitted.

“Because you didn’t want to kiss me?” He asked in a way that showed he was upset with the truth, but had accepted it.

“Because I really wanted to kiss you.” You promised. Tom perked up and cocked his head.

“Is this girl logic? I have three brothers, darling. Girl logic goes over my head like a summer breeze.” He said in defeat.

“I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sorry.” You twisted your finger around before giving your hair a stressful tug.

“Do you not like me? At least, not in the way I like you?” Tom asked, making you feel like you were in elementary school again.

“Of course I like you. You’re sweet and funny and charming.” You smiled as you listed his qualities, and he smiled too. “And weirdly good at yoga.”

“About that. I may or may not have been practicing.” Tom confessed.

“Why?” You wondered.

“To impress you.” He admitted. “All I ever want to do is impress you.”

“You don’t need yoga for that.” You chuckled softly. “I like you exactly as you are.”

You felt yourself slipping back to how it used to be with Tom. The icy awkwardness was melting away and the warm feelings of affection were coming through.

“So why didn’t you kiss me?” Tom asked the question that’d been on his mind since that night.

“There’s so much pressure on us, I guess I just cracked. Everything you and I have done since the Plank All Over Me challenge has been scrutinized under a microscope by new outlets trying to prove we’re dating. When you were leaning in and I saw the camera flash, it’s like I could see the headlines already. They’re gonna have a field day with us, and I hate the thought of this becoming something it’s not. Everyone’s gonna have an opinion and they’re going to try to tear us apart. This is too important to me to let the media screw it up. You’re too important.” You told Tom how you honestly felt, and it felt great to get off your chest. He smiled at your honesty and nodded in understanding.

“Okay, so, eliminate the outside pressure. No ones watching us now, are they? It’s just you and me. What do you want to happen?” He asked with a shrug.

“I want…” you bit your lip and thought about it. “I want you to get into a plank.”

“Okay, Y/n, anything you sa- wait what?” He asked in confusion.

“Get in here and get into a plank.” You commanded as you stepped aside and let him into your dressing room. Tom gave you a strange look as he walked in. Despite the odd request, Tom obeyed and got into a plank. You wasted no time in getting into a handstand in front of him and recreating the final pose you’d done for the video.

“Y/n, as much as I enjoy looking at your beautiful face upside down, why are we doing this?” He asked.

“Because I never thanked you for the incredible date you took me on.” You answered simply.

“Can we have this conversation when I’m not holding my entire body weight on my arms?” Tom laughed as his face began to redden.

“Do I get to say thank you this time?” You asked coyly.

“Wait a minute…” Tom realized you were quoting Mary Jane Watson during that scene in the original Spider-Man.

But you didn’t wait.

Not this time.

Not anymore.

You kissed Tom upside down, in true Spider-Man fashion. His lips fit against yours perfectly, even when upside down. The kiss was everything you dreamed it’d be, even if it was on the floor of a dressing room while all the blood in your body rushed to your head.

“There.” You smiled when you pulled apart. “You got your kiss.”

“And it only took two dates, two videos, and about a dozen planks to do so.” Tom teased you as you got down from your handstand and laid next to him.

“Was it worth the wait?” You looked up at him and asked.

“Worth the wait? Absolutely.” Tom stared. “Worth the pulsing ache in my biceps? Maybe.”

“Hey.” You lightly smacked his arm.

“I’m only teasing.” Tom grinned before kissing you again. It was even better right side up. “Of course it was worth it. I’d do a hundred planks for you.”

“What about a thousand?” You asked.

“Easy.” He shrugged.

“A million?” You continued.

“Child’s play.” Tom stated.

“A billion?” You asked.

“You’re completely unreasonable. I don’t think we’re going to work.” Tom said in a monotone voice.

“Oh no.” You laughed into his chest, feeling his heartbeat against your cheek. “Please take me back. I’ll do anything.”

“Even the downward dog?” He asked.

“Are you being fresh?” You sat up quickly and Toms eyes filled with panic even though you were only joking.

“No!” He was quick to assure you. “No it was a yoga pun! I promise!”

You pursed your lips at the adorable man in front of you and smiled.

“You and your innuendos.”

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @meghan-8520xx @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines

[themadauthorshatter]

I'M BACK!

So, like I said in my break announcement, I got some ideas for Toppat!Henry, but that unfortunately happened AFTER I posted Part 4.

I was thinking of ideas like this:

Everything remains the same after the chase with RHM, rather than getting captured, Charles pulls a Bold Action Man and jumps off the building. Or so we think, because we'd switch to Henry watching 'Charles fall' and shoot to his feet and shout, "NO! CATCH HIM!"

Funny thing about Bold Action Men: they're plans work. They horribly mangle themselves, but their plans work.

Charles actually landed on a window cleaning lift, which kind of broke when he landed on it. His phone, however, wasn't so lucky.

The lift breaks and Charles catches himself before he falls for real, swinging and climbing into an open window so he can then roll to the floor.

The supplies, including a heavy coat, all fall to and hit the ground; the phone's absolutely fucked, by the way.

Right rockets down to see if Charles actually died, and Charles sees him fly down.

When Right's gone, Charles groans and sits up, opening his jacket to see that he caught himself a little too well, evidenced by a gash that's opened on his ribs, right on the side that was already injured, too.

He groans and stands up, stumbling to the wall.

With Right, we see him hiver over the ground and report back to Henry that Charles did not fall at all. It was just a bunch of supplies and a spare coat. Henry, on the orbital station, sighs and falls back into his chair, silent for a second before he orders them to look inside the building they're on, in case Charles slipped inside to escape.

With Charles, TV perspective, we'd follow a blood trail to see him stumble through an office space, panting and light headed; he's walked down a couple flights of stairs and reached the office to try and look for an elevator, and that gash he has is doing nothing to help.

A wave of exhaustion washes over him and Charles catches himself on a desk, dry heaving as a whistle catches his attention.

"Don't look so good there, pilot. Heh, guess what they say is true: a Nine'-to-Five' does get you killed."

Charles demands the owner of the voice reveal himself, and he obliges.

Hope you remembered him from the "epilogue" in the secong Henry Stickmin Headcanon post, because, ladies and gentlemen, you know him, you either love him or you hate him, please welcome with open arms the worst leader in Toppat history: Terrence Suave

Before they can make proper introductions, Terrence grabs Charles and pulls him behind a wall, into that rec-room in the office space for coffee and food, and puts a hand over his mouth as he shushes him.

Right flies around each floor to survey and find Charles. He does try to get in the window, but the group has to leave and report back to Henry while the beam is hot and ready.

Right flies off and, once he's sure they're gone, Terrence lets go of Charles, who immediately backs away from him, which makes his wounds worse.

Charles doesn't exactly recognize his face, but asks why he's there, all things considered.

Terrence only laughs and admits he likes THIS version of Charles, bold, brave, confident even with a wound, and not an absolutely mindless psychopath working for or with the Toppat Clan- "Well, not as long as Right or Henry get a hold of you."

Upon seeing Charles's confusion, Terrence backtracks and says he'll explain later as he helps Charles to an elevator, grabbing a stapler on the way.

"What... What's that for?"

"Well, I can't really have the fireworks expire before the show begins, now can I?"

Charles shakes his head. "I don't know what you're saying."

"Don't worry about it. Let's just get you back to your government friends."

They enter the elevator and leave, Terrence admitting that he hopes Charles is in that numb state of shock as he knocks him down, lifts his shirt to reveal the gash and then pulls out the stapler. "Try not to move to much, pilot. This might sting a little."

At the base, the twins are getting a HUGE scolding and shout-at by Galeforce, who's very angry that they didn't tell him or anyone else about what Charles was doing, or the fact that Henry had called him.

They're still sorry, but, when asked, admit they don't know where Charles went, only that he was in a hurry and wanted to go alone. Again, Henry had called him, so maybe he had something to do with Charles running off.

Galeforce rubs his temples as Canterbury admits that Charles has been breaking his rank a lot recently, even blindly and stupidly wondering if he's a Toppat spy.

The twins, Galeforce, and Rupert all gkare at him for this, and he holds up his hands and admits he got the idea from remembering how slippery Henry is.

Rupert politely disagrees, as the government is all Charles has. Sure he's broken rank very often, but that's out of impulse and drive to stop Henry without anyone getting hurt. And before you say Charles is being a martyr, his sole goal is arresting Henry and making him call a total surrender for the Toppats. He can't take the clan all at once, and he won't because the government is on his side. He doesn't really care about taking out the clan as a whole, but he does want to stop Henry; and he's focused on Henry the most because of the failed airship mission and the still raw wound Henry left behind. Yeah, he took that very personally.

Regardless, just as Rupert offers to go and look for his friend, the phone rings and Galeforce answers.

"Ch... General? Are y-you there?"

"Charlie!? Where are you right now!?"

In the phone booth, leaning against the wall and paler than Snow White, Charles fights a gag. "Mid... Midtown. I-I got chased. They tried... They to kidnap me. Or-or kill me. I don... don't know, but-..."

Charles groans and slumps down, the pain fading, adrenaline wearing off, and exhaustion catching up to him.

Terrence catches him and sets him down, sitting him down as he takes control of that phone call.

"General Galeforce, I believe I've found your pet pilot for you. Thank goodness, too, he's injured. Bad."

"WHAT!?"

He shrugs and waves a hand. "Don't worry, a couple staples solved that." He turns to Charles. "Right, Charlie?"

"Screw you," Charles spits.

"Don't tempt me."

"Where is he?" Galeforce demands. "Wherever he is, bring him back!"

"Relax, Hubert. He's fine. Just needs a doctor andsone rest, that's all."

Galeforce, tired and just wanting to see his boy, tells Terrence to meet at the base, and to get there as soon as he can.

Terrence agrees and hangs up before helping Charles up and getting him in the car Terrence is "borrowing from a friend😈" and setting out.

On the orbital station, Henry paces as Right and Reginald explain what happened, admitting that they didn't see Charles fall all the way down. Just a little bit. If they didn't know better, they'd say he vanished into thin air.

Right also informs him that he saw Charles's phone fall, but there was nothing there when he went looking for Charles. Reg even explains that on the way up to the roof, the door jammed for a second, having been barred by an old screwdriver.

Apparently whoever was there just wanted to distract them for just a few seconds.

Henry notices this and growls, slamming his fist against the table.

Back with Terrence and Charles, the half cybernetic man is tapping Charles every now and again to keep him awake, in case he checks out for good.

Charles is sick and tired, but also extremely confused as to what just happened.

"I don't... Who are you?"

"Terrence Suave. Nice to meet you, Charles Calvin."

"How d'you... how do you know-... Are you-"

"Before you call me a stalker, just think of it like this: Are you religious, Charlie?"

Charles cringes at Terrence calling him a nickname only Galeforce uses or is allowed to use, but still shakes his head. "That's none your business."

"Fine. Believe in spirits? The afterlife? After some folks die, their souls are free to do whatever they please only catch is they can't DO anything because they're, you know, dead."

Charles only stares at him incredulously.

"I'm basically a spirit, kid. I see just about everything. I see things and I know them."

Charles shakes his head and asks, "How'd you know I... I'd be in the city?"

"I guessed. Good thing I was right."

"W-... Who-"

Terrence waves off the questions and tells Charles to stay awake as long as he can, so they can get him help.

They get to the base just as Charles passes out, Galeforce, the twins, and Rupert all rushing over to catch him.

Terrence tells them not to worry because he just passed out, even admitting he really shouldn't have used staples to close the gash.

Galeforce berates him and demands to know who this crazy bastard is and what he's doing, and Terrence reveals the bits of Charles's phone. "Give the kid a fossil. It'll be harder to track and tap."

They get him to the infirmary, Charles murmuring about keeping the twins safe and that they're after him, they being the Toppats, and he needs to leave town.

Galeforce hushes him up for this and tells gets him to the infirmary.

As Charles is carried away, Terrence watches, amused and perky as he smiles.

Slight gore tw, he then sighs, takes out his glass eye, cleans it off, and then puts it back in, groaning about how finicky it is.

Once it's back in, Terrence sighs and relishes in the fact that he's probably giving Henry a couple migraines

Again, this is just a possible revision, and if you guys like it, I can continue Part 5 off of this

Sorry for being away, I'll try to be more consistent now

Either way, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!!!!

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: The Back-Up Plan

Masterpost

5x18: The Back-Up Plan

And we’re continuing on with another great New York Arc episode.  Kurt, however, is not in this episode as much as I remembered -- though I suppose it’s quality over quantity.  I’m also slightly eye-rolly with the June stuff since it ultimately doesn’t really go anywhere.  But these last few episodes of season 5 are a lot of fun.  So, here we go.... 

June Dolloway

Okay - had to get a side shot for all of you guys to appreciate the entire outfit here.  There’s a reason he’s holding his jacket -- those are some very tight pants there. 

Alright - so I’m going to be honest about something.  I’m not a big fan of this scene.  Really, its...just a bad scene.  The writing is horrible -- and it feels like Chris is having an awkward time saying it.  Meanwhile, Darren feels like he’s just reciting lines.  I’m not going to speculate on production values here - there are just very few times when things don’t seem to work between Kurt and Blaine (Chris and Darren) and this is one of them.  (Though - I mainly blame the weird writing.) 

And really, it’s the opening few beats. And Kurt’s ridiculous expository monologue about June where he sounds like Ryan Murphy and not Kurt.  When they get to normal chatting, things come together after that.  I don’t know...  

Anyway - (I can’t still this scene, Kurt won’t stand still) - the gist is that socialite June Dolloway is around and Kurt’s going to sing for her, and enlists Blaine to help.  Because they’re getting married and should do everything together.  

What?  

This is one of those weird show things where their idea of marriage is being joined at the hip.  C’mon, show, what are you doing? At least they get points for remembering Klaine is engaged.  

And for it being an outside scene.  One nice aspect of the NYC arc is that they were able to open it up more, and it felt like a real world instead of everything happening on one school set. 

Kurt’s happy at the end of this scene.  Let’s let that be the take away from this one. 

Moral Integrity

Kurt’s getting ready for his evening of singing in front of June Dolloway.  But is this scene about Kurt? Nope! This scene is about Rachel.  

I mean, it’s not unreasonable for Rachel to take a night off.  It’s really not - that is why they have understudies.  Her producer is kind of a dick about it.  But -- yeah, it’s been a month and Rachel’s already getting bored of her dream job?  Seriously?  

Anyway - Rachel tries to validate her reasons for going off to Hollywood to book a TV show - and Kurt’s playing the role he always play -- moral compass, good angel, Jiminy Cricket - whatever you get the idea. He’s as irritated as the rest of us at her fickleness -- and points out that lying to her producer about auditioning for a TV pilot is kind of a dick move.  

Kurt is so done with Rachel at this point.  I’m now back to wondering why they are friends because every scene they have is again about Rachel, and Kurt’s beyond annoyed.  I suppose this might be some set up for Old Dogs, New Tricks, but idk... 

Story of My Life

I’m kind of laughing that they named the dance hall after June -- because NYADA apparently only has one room - and it’s the dance hall.  Man.  

Anyway - look at these cuties in complementary outfits.  Kurt’s jazzed to meet June, but I’m still not entirely sure why. 

Alright - let’s break this down a little, because I have some things to say.  

So - this scene is supposed to be reminiscent of when they did Animal way back in season 2.  Kurt’s an awkward little goober while Blaine is suave and charming.  On one level, I get it.  June’s a celebrity, and when Kurt tries too hard, he ends up falling on his face time and time again.  (It’s also supposed to be funny - but I find Kurt’s actions cringe worthy, and I don’t come back to this performance - ever.)  

At the same time, Kurt’s not 16 anymore, and has had all this training at NYADA -- that’s got to count for something.  On top of that, I’m getting tired of a narrative that says because Kurt’s not charming in the way Blaine is that he’s not able to be professional about -- whatever.  It kind of goes back to the dialogue of early season 3, but not necessarily about passing or not passing but about how good a performer you are.  

And -- my thing is -- Kurt’s voice is incredible in this number, and until they start the ridiculous choreography, Kurt’s actually pretty wonderful.  So, I wish they hadn’t hammed it up, tbh, because the June being dismissive of Kurt would be more because of those early season 3 passing/not passing conversations instead of Kurt just failing at his performance.  

(I mean - how would have Kurt been picked in the first place if he wasn’t good at performance?) 

Anyway - the scene just doesn’t work for me, though I get it’s necessity due to plot reasons.  

There isn’t much more I’d like to comment on the song either.  Other than the lines about ‘her’ not feeling it in her bones being a clue about June’s feelings towards Kurt, I think this is the most impersonal duet they ever do.  

I may be alone in this opinion - idk, I haven’t discussed it with anyone -- but I think the whole shifty eye thing June does to confuse who she’s talking to is a weird way of doing it.  It just makes Shirley MacClaine look awkward.  

I do appreciate Blaine’s honest-to-god support of Kurt when they both think it’s about Kurt, though.  And excited Kurt remains a goober.  I say you lucked out though, kid, June is kind of the worst and you’re better off not being her lump of coal - as Blaine’s going to find out.  

Old Marrieds

This is, perhaps, my favorite scene in the episode - and one of the best Klaine scenes we ever get.  Because unlike that awful first scene, this is really where the actors shine, and Kurt and Blaine feel like a couple who’s been together for a very long time.  There’s a nice sense of familiarity and connection in the scene that does make them feel like they’ve been married for twenty-five years.  I love it.  I wish they had more scenes like this together in the second half of the series. 

So, Blaine’s getting ready for his evening with June - and Kurt’s helping him get ready.  There’s a slight tension here, as Blaine’s concerned about Kurt and his well being.  And I love that Kurt’s pretty honest about it.  He’s disappointed, and slightly jealous, but has no resentment towards Blaine about it.  He’s being supportive, and cares about Blaine’s well being, too.  Kurt’s often touted as a selfish character - but it’s moment like these that I’d argue he’s really, really not.  

I kind of love that Kurt’s back to being pragmatic about June and the situation in whole.  It’s a good opportunity for Blaine to move forward in his career, but she’s not a friend - and no, she really doesn’t have his best interest at heart, and Kurt’s probably more aware of that than Blaine. 

I kind of love the other little touches in this scene -- Kurt doesn’t want Blaine to worry about him, reminds him that they’re in this together - so even if Kurt’s not there -- he’s still there spiritually, calls him handsome, and gives him a nothing kiss (which is fantastic! because we don’t get nothing kisses between the two of them -- something that’s a nice touch that establishes, uh, yeah, these two are intimate with each other on a regular basis, but don’t need to be swallowing each other whole every time they touch lips).  

It’s a great scene. 

And it ends with this little moment of sadness for Kurt.  Yeah - he is proud of Blaine, he’s sincere in his words.  But kind of like with the whole Tony/West Side Story thing - Kurt’s struggle with making it in the real world is a lot harder than Blaine’s (though Blaine definitely has some of his own issues to work through).  And this little moment acknowledges that.  It’s a nice touch. 

--

While Kurt’s not in any of the Blaine/June scenes, Blaine does talk about Kurt quite a bit.  And one thing that most definitely comes up is the show’s weird dichotomy that you can either have love or a career.  They pulled this with Finchel back in season 3 (though I think it makes more sense then).  I think it’s fine here as a bit of drama, I can see someone like June wanting to mold Blaine into something of her own - and while being completely dismissive of Kurt based on one awkward performance, if they had any extended interaction - I could see her not liking him because he’s too headstrong to let June be in control. 

While I don’t think it’s out of nowhere that someone ‘in charge’ would ask Blaine to break it off with Kurt because reasons, this is going to stop being an external conflict and more internal when Blaine lies about the whole thing.  Idk - maybe it might have been interesting to see how they deal with Blaine getting a break but not wanting Kurt - but the two of them figuring out how to navigate it together.  I get why they went the route they did -- still, the whole June thing seems a little, idk, lacking at the end of the day. 

Helping Rachel

I don’t know why - but they’re (idk who they are in this scenario) really bad with the engagement ring continuity.  Two close ups of Kurt talking to Rachel, and in one of them, there’s not a ring.  Step it up guys, really. 

Anyway - Rachel’s stuck in LA and can’t get back for her show, and the understudy fell down stairs or something, so... now it’s Kurt’s issue?  Ug.  

So - Kurt frantically tries to reach Mercedes and Santana, who are busy being awesome friends.  Kurt ends up finding them at the diner - and says that they should do a bomb threat, or bedbug scare, or claim Barbra’s doing a free show in Central Park to stop the show -- which, agreed, are all horrible ideas.  Though Chris’s comedy is top notch in this scene.  Again, I don’t know why Kurt is so stressed out about it -- why not let Rachel have some consequences for her actions for once.  But -- Maybe cause Mercedes’s good friend juice is wearing on her, Santana says she’ll step up and play Fanny for a night. 

Couch Time

I kind of like that they show Kurt and Blaine at the brownstone instead of the loft -- nice to show that they hang out in both places instead of just the loft.  Tbh, I think Blaine’s place looks way more comfortable, and has way less Rachel in it. 

But -- as Kurt says, he and Blaine haven’t been spending a lot of time together lately cause Blaine’s spending all of this time with June lately.  Kurt’s interested in the details (though - god, all the name dropping again, this doesn’t really sound like Kurt, but some middle-aged dude who cares about these people), but the point is Kurt wants some alone Blaine time, and not just because gossip.  

It’s also brought up, again, that a win for one of them is a win for both of them.  While I do think there’s some value in being happy for your partner, I think the whole joined at the hip angle is weird in general.  This show is just...weird when it comes to relationships of any kind some times. 

Kurt is genuinely happy to hear that Blaine’s getting a showcase, and would have been 100% supportive fiance if it rested there (and he is a few episodes from now.)  But Blaine lies, I think cause he wants to spare Kurt’s feelings? Cause he doesn’t want Kurt to go nuclear on June? (I would have loved to have seen that!) Blaine’s own insecurities about the whole thing? Plot? 

The point is - Blaine says Kurt has a part when he doesn’t -- which means instead of just being normally ecstatic, Kurt’s over the moon ecstatic.  And Blaine finds himself in a self-made pickle.    

As an aside, I also kinda love that Kurt does have some boundaries.  He is not up for any kind of weird cougar-ish behavior June might be trying out on Blaine.  You can do a lot of things, Blaine, but the only sexy times you’ll be having is with me.  (And Blaine is totally cool with that.) 

And even though Blaine’s already feeling guilty about the whole lie thing - I’m pretty sure they’re gonna skip the movie and go straight to sexy times.  I mean, Mercedes and Sam have already used the couch for sexy times.  I think Kurt and Blaine should get a chance, too.  :) 

And that’s it! Yeah - not a whole lot of Kurt in this one.  But, I mean, at least there are some really great moments in here.  

[the-baewoodchronicles]

The Proposition pt. 2

A/N: Wow this is my first part two! It’s a chapter two to this. I hope you enjoy it- I worked hard as hell on this. Word Count: 2,032 words! Genre: Fluff I suppose Pairing: Trevor x Reader Warnings: Swearing I think.

You groan and roll over, shuffling out from under your blankets as your semi-clouded eyes stare at the wall. For a moment- and only a moment- you forget your surroundings. You forget the fae sitting at the foot of your bed and the strong scent of sickly sweet flowers he had brought with him, and you focus your energy on your sore muscles and the dull ache arching across your forehead from temple to temple. You sigh and stare at the ceiling for a moment- that feels like forever. And then- a hand with poor circulation rests on your shin and shakes your leg lightly.

You stiffen and groan. 

Why would he let you forget he’s here? Of course he wants attention. You pull yourself up to sit on your bed and find his face quite close to yours. However- you aren't quite surprised. The last faerie you’d brought to this realm thought you to be dead and laid their head on your chest, monochrome eyes staring at you intensely only to move when you startled awake.

“So- Trevor..” Your voice is husky and you yawn briefly. “What should we make your story for the- date?” You sigh and move hair from your face, taking deep breaths as you two found comfortable distances and positions on your bed.

“Well, i have studied what you know as rocket science and- people in this realm brag about that don't they?” He stretches his legs- his long legs- in front of him. “I could be some- suave and charming rocket scientist. We could've met- at some charming magic and science debate or- soirée. We danced the night away and I charmed you over a Chinese takeout dinner?” He stands as he speaks and ponders your room. Picking up things and- moving them. Just putting them out of the place you'd desired them. It wasn't- infuriating but it would grate on your nerves sooner or later.

“Chinese takeout wouldn't be my first choice and- I don't go to those ceremonies, I'm not notable.” You tail him and rearrange your belongings, not quite caring if the actions seemed passive aggressive or not. “I like Thai food better. Or you could've made dinner for me.” You shrug. “That would be more romantic, and I love someone who can cook,” You sigh airily.

“Okay- can you stop doing that?” It comes out in an annoyed sigh and to keep your voice close to calm you'd taken to fidgeting with the nearest smooth object which happened to be a tumbled crystal. Your fingers glide effortlessly over the surface, each ridge feeling polished.

“Stop doing what?” He huffs, arching an eyebrow and making a face to say he's above this- above you.

“Moving my shit like you own it,” Your voice is smooth and cool. You roll your eyes and sigh- it's tired, be it physically or mentally, you couldn't be bothered to tell which was more prominent- both contributors, of course.

“Excuse me?” He sets a pop figure down in a sort of bitter compliance meant to be mocking. He crosses his arms and looks you in the eye.

“What exactly did you buy to think you can do this?” The dawning realization that this isn't that deep has hit you. But it's a matter of principle at this point. Not exactly bruised pride but- to prevent the ebb and flow of ounces of alienation in your own home. A long winded justification but ''twas a justification to hold steadfast nonetheless.

With an indignant huff, he sets down your newest piece of makeup and rolls his eyes. Huffing slightly with a breathy ���whatever�� as he walks away. Part of you feels a twinge of guilt for snapping over something so small but- you don't come into someone's home and start doing that it's just rude to assume you can touch their personal belongings like that- wasn't it? Of course. It's rude to do.

Trevor, without even looking over his shoulder walks out of your room, off to do gods knows what while you stayed in your bedroom, closing the door soon after he leaves.

---

You weren’t completely sure how much time had passed since the ‘incident’ that morning, but it was still day time. You’d finally left your room after time spent staring at your phone and walls, flipping absentmindedly through your grimoire. You weren’t completely sure what you had hoped to find but- you didn’t seem to happen across it. However, the most appealing thing you did see was a tea based spell you’d composed after watching an Overwatch short that had pulled on your heart strings.

Making your way down the short hall that lead into your living room, you’d forgotten for a moment that you weren’t alone. Your heart jumps into your throat when you see his shadow, fear racing through you and adrenaline a moment away from leaking into your bloodstream. Trevor doesn’t even look at you as he clinks a spoon around a glass of diluted sugar-water, just hums to himself with half finished bags of semi-sweet chocolate chips litter the room. You groan with some convoluted emotion halfway between relief and frustration. The realization yet again that you have a guest and that means continuous courtesy and decent clothing- it hurt but it wasn’t as painful as the other scenario of an unsolicited party in your apartment which arguably would be more bothersome than a temporary guest that happened to here on your invitation.

You moved around Trevor, leaving him in a world of his design, doused in sugar and lined in chocolate. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet near his head, he finally looks up, satisfied with how it “dissolved”. You see him out of the corner of your eye, take a sip, and you cringe. How can a being drink that with a straight face? And then eat a fist-full of chocolate- faeries are truly romanticized. You cringe and with a conservative hand pour two teaspoons of sugar- wow Trevor went to town on your sugar- into your mug. You fill it with hot water and stir to dissolve it, humming to yourself.

Trevor watches you- just tracking your motions and making note of how you shift your weight side to side, quite staunchly refusing to break the silence- it wasn’t deafening and didn’t crush him so why would he bother? You seemed to be at peace- or some form of it as you muttered words of power under your breath, stirring clockwise- one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine times. Adding a bittersweet smelling tea bag into the water and a few drops of honey, you put your hands around the mug and under your breath said some phrase one, two, three times. He takes another sip, sugar granules that failed to dissolve sticking to his teeth and grinding against each other. Almost immediately after he eats a few more pieces of chocolate.

“So what was that all about?” His voice is smooth.

“What was what?” You glance back at him.

He gestures to you- your tea.

“That- ritual, I guess.” He shrugs and gestures again, taking another sip.

“Oh- uh just a little...good luck charm.” You nod along to what you say. “For a good day...the strength to get through...fortitude. All of that sweet good stuff.” You move your finger around the rim of the mug, the liquid following your movement.

He huffs a short laugh.

“A little- good morning- today’s going to be a good day and here’s some reasons why-” he holds up the bottle of honey and taps two fingers on your sugar jar. “That’s pretty adorable if you ask me.” He slides next to you- you could’ve sworn he didn’t take a step and yet- here he was. You half grin.

“I didn’t but- thanks. I made it all myself.” You try to seem nonchalant about the air of pride in your voice- it was even rarer to be complimented on it. Trevor grins.

“Oh- you did now?” He’s a little too close- it’s not uncomfortable but your heart pounds. You take sip of your tea. Less than forgiving as it warms your mouth uncomfortably so, almost burning your tongue. The energy slowly seeps through you, warm and loving. Inked flowers upon your shoulder bloom and the sprawling leaves poke out from beneath the sleeve of your shirt. Trevor watches what he can of the show and grins. “Mortal’s come up with the most interesting inventions.” He hums, attempting to trace a finger over the faux foliage only to stop in his tracks when you move away from him. Words are stuck in his throat as you turn to exit your kitchen. One hand holding your mug by the vessel, the other palm up at your shoulder, beckoning an orange to you.

The orange lands in your palm with the grace of a feather dancing in the wind and you hold it in a more natural position as you go into your living space. Sitting cross legged on your couch, you balance your mug on one knee and the orange on the other. Trevor follows suit, looking curiously at you and the and he brings a half empty bag of chocolates. He sits on the coffee table in front of you- his posture devolving from something proper and proud to having his elbows on his knees, half slouched as he eats chocolate by the handful yet again.

You snap your fingers and the skin falls off of the orange. It’s not perfect but the job is done. He grabs a piece of the peel and inspects it between his fingers, even going as far as to bite it. Almost immediately after cringing and making an over exaggerated face of disgust. You try to stifle the short laugh that escapes your mouth and a smile crosses your face.

He looks embarrassed and somewhat flustered as the laugh rings in his ears. He pouts and looks away from you, his face starting to grow flushed.

“Listen,” he starts, “In my realm, these are sweeter than anything you have here and it’s actually good, unlike those sour disappointments.” He tries to pull himself together but sounds more defensive than anything.

“I’m not doubting you, I just think it’s funny how your first instinct is to bite the thing.” You hum and pick apart the fruit, holding out a slice to him. “Won’t you try a piece and see if you like it?” There’s a slight drawl in your voice.

Trevor eyes it curiously and cautiously, with a gentle hand accepts the offer. He takes a bite hesitantly and makes another face- less of disgust, more of conflicting emotions. Suddenly an idea pops into his head. He takes a few chocolate chips and couples them with the next bite of the orange slice he takes and he smiles with a quirk of the eyebrow as if he’d just come across some secret withheld from him for years leading up to this.

You play up the slight disgust you have at the scene that just played out in front of you.

“You’ve got to try this-” He starts and you hold up a hand to halt him.

“That already exists in this realm, and more people hate them than not.”

He squints and takes another slice from you, putting a scant amount of chocolate on top of it and shoving the amalgamation in his mouth.

“Do you like them?”

“Sometimes,” you shrug and eat a slice for yourself.

“More for us then.”

You shrug and nod in agreement, looking over Trevor again- the ethereal features he once had are more downplayed than they were before. His hair had gone from a glowing blonde to a warm brown on it’s way to black and- it fit him. Arguably better than the blond had. His wardrobe even assimilating to something of your realm. He still had this- glow, a shimmer to him. Something that made it hard to look away from him. Which made him grin with a devious air. He winks your way and you take another sip of your tea.

“More for us then.” You echo.

[darlingpetao3]

Great Scott, Barry! (Chapter 6/9)

“So, you come here often?”

“Not really, I'm- hey.” Past Barry stops mid-sentence as he turns to see who's trying to hit on him. “I know you. From earlier today, right?”

“Oh right, hey!” You feign surprise at this 'chance' meeting. “Sorry about that, you just look exactly like someone I know.”

“It's cool,” he says. Past Barry takes this time to subtly check you out. “Uh... are you here alone?”

That's right, time to reel him in!

“I am,” you confess. “I was supposed to meet my friend here, but something must've come up.” It feels really weird to lie to poor Barry, so wrong. But for this plan to work, you need to deceive him.

“That's too bad,” he sympathizes. “You can hang with me if you like. I'm not like, a creep or anything so don't worry.” He cringes a little at the words that left his mouth. “Can I get you a drink?” You pull up a seat next to him on a bar stool.

“I would love a drink, thank you...”

“Barry,” he offers along with a hand.

“(Y/N)” you reply and shake it. A sharp shock startled you at the contact. You gasp at the surprise. It must be something to do with his powers. But I'm not supposed to know anything about that.

“Oh! You shocked me! I guess that means there's a spark between us?” You laugh. Look at you, flirting! His eyes twinkle at you and his lips curl into a shy smile. Aw, Barry. Could he get any cuter? Cisco walks up to the bar with tipsy Caitlin.

“Who's your friend, Barry?” Cisco asks, playing the part well. Introductions are made and Caitlin takes a liking to you already.

“(Y/N), it's sooo nice to have another girl here,” Caitlin places a hand on your shoulder. “I always feel like I'm stuck with men wherever I go!”

“Don't mind Caitlin,” Cisco says. “She says all kinds of crazy things when she's drunk.”

“I've only had two drinks.”

“Here's a word for you: lightweight.”

Just then, a song plays through the speakers. You know this song... It's Earth Angel by Marvin Berry & The Starlighters. Only it's different- someone has turned it into a tasteful remix. Cisco gives a conspiratorial wink when his friends aren't looking. Thanks, Cisco.

“I love this song!” you say. “Barry, may I have this dance?” It looks like he almost doesn't know what to do. Out of the corner of your eye, Cisco gestures for him to move his ass. Caitlin is less subtle.

“Go on, Barry! Dance with the pretty lady!” Past Barry smiles big and takes your hand.

“It would be my honour,” he says suavely.

The next morning, on the walk to Jitters with your Barry, you can't get rid of the satisfied smile plastered across your face. Flashes of dancing with Past Barry last night resurface in your mind. It was just as fun and amazing as the very first time.

“You didn't come in til late,” Barry mentions. He and you will be staying at Cisco's until things get sorted. You tried to sneak in without waking him, but apparently, you had failed in that. “And if that smile is any indication, I'd say you had a good time.”

“More than good. It was great!” You link arms with him. “I think I really made an impression.”

“I'm positive you did, too.”

“So tell me about Past Me. Did you end up delivering that pizza?” Barry nods and chuckles a little. “What's so funny?”

“You... She wasn't how you normally act,” he says.

“In what way?”

“When she answered the door, she said, 'Pizza. Youuuu saved my life.' Actually, she slurred her words. And stumbled a bit.”

“I was drunk?”

“Very. I even made up some excuse about going around and handing out free pizzas to Central City Pizza's best customers. And do you know what she said?”

“'Get out of here, you creepy stalker?'” you joke.

“She said, 'You're so funny!' and laughed uncontrollably and tumbled into me.”

“Oh God. I must have had a really horrible first day at work for me to do that.” You reach Jitters just after the morning rush has passed. Barry offers to buy the drinks while you grab a table. You sit down at the one at the back of the room.

“Hey, it's you! The delivery guy?” you hear a familiar voice say. Keeping yourself out of view at your table, you manage to place the voice to the face. Your face.

“Oh- Oh! You're- Yeah, I mean, yeah it's me,” Barry stumbles with his words pretending to recognize your past self.

“I had had a horrible first day at work and I don't normally drown my sorrows in alcohol, but...” you/she tries to explain. Her face is blushing pretty hard. That is so me, you think.

“No, it's fine.”

“And actually, I was hoping I'd run into you,” she says. “I wanted to apologize.”

“It's not neccess-”

“And give you a tip.”

“No, no, really, it's fine,” he insists.

“I woke up on the couch with a blanket over me.”

“I did do that,” Barry admits. He didn't mention that he did that. You don't know whether to swoon or be jealous of yourself! “I couldn't leave you in the hallway, could I?”

“I guess I should order pizza more often.” Past You gives him her number. “Call me sometime.” She leaves Jitters with her coffee, walking extra slow and moving cautiously when opening the door. Barry sits down across from you.

“She seemed nice,” you tease. “And cuuuuute.”

“You have no idea,” he says pretending he's lost in a daydream.

“I think she's into you.”

“I hope so. You know, for the plan to work.”

“Right, of course.”

“And what about you and me?”

“What about you and me?”

“I mean, you and Past Barry. When are you going to see him again?”

“Oh, haha! Right, well, he and I have a date tomorrow night. Galaxy Plunders. He texted me a couple hours ago.”

“Eager fella, isn't he? Wait a second.” Barry pulls out his phone, his original phone, and scrolls through some new texts. “Ha! Check this out.” He turns the screen for you to see Past Barry's thoughts about you.

                                                                              Cisco. Man, I really like this girl.

That's awesome, man. You

should go for it.

                                                                       I plan on it. I've never met someone

                                                                      like her before.

“That is so cute,” you blush. The two of you laugh about how completely bizarre this whole situation is. And if you're being honest with yourself, it's probably only going to get a whole lot more bizarre.

Part 7

Tag List: @caratala 

[bi-fandom-trash]

So here’s the continuation. I’m not thrilled with the dinner scene. It isn’t as funny or awkward as I wanted it to be. It needs more dialogue. I’m gonna work on it. 

               “It just feels right, okay?” Farraway replied. It was difficult for him to explain how, even though he was dead, he still had this odd sensation of hunger. Like feelings from a phantom limb. Plus, the psychological comfort of a bagel and cream cheese can’t be under-stated.

               “Speaking of stuff that feels right—“

               “You! Up top.” Farraway pointed to Jackson, then to the ceiling. “And you!” He redirected his finger to Roma, “Get me everything you can on the new Helios director. Knowledge is power.”

               Roma snorted. “You’re like one of those posters they put up in crappy elementary schools.”

               “Get!”

               And with an eye roll and a sarcastic salute, both of Farraway’s workers grudgingly did as they were told.

                  “The representative from Helios is coming in three days,” Farraway said, clearly more than a little frazzled. “We need something that will blow her out of the water.”

               “She appears to have been in the position for only six months.” Roma said, scrolling through the search engine results. “Maggie Bernstein. She’s a human soul, like you. Been down here for about six years. Began her career here as an editor for the Huffington Post-mortem.”

               “So she’s used to edgy. And probably needs to impress the new peeps in the office, to prove herself as the new kid on the block.”

               “Why are we talking about marshmallows and 90’s bands?”

               “The days are gone where we can get away with talking snakes and an ark that magically holds millions of animals—“

               “I still maintain it’s like the TARDIS. Bigger on the inside.”

               “Now we need more subtlety. We need poor translations, minor adjustments that result in more division among the ranks.” Farraway went on, ignoring his assistant’s interruptions. “But I’ve had such a case of writer’s block lately.”

               “Listen, far be it for me to, you know, compliment you,” Roma said, “but why not just choose something you’ve already written? Those sadistic psalms you wrote a couple of months ago should do the trick.”

               “No, no, no,” Farraway shook his head, “You’re still new to the business. Landing a contract like this, you need to up your game. You need to present something fresh, your absolute best. You have to cultivate a relationship with them. It’s like courting…” Farraway trailed off, a gleam in his eye.

               “Um…you were saying?” Roma tried to get her boss’s attention.

               “That’s it!” He said suddenly, startling her. “Courting.”

               “Courting?”

               “This Maggie Whatever-her-name-is—“

               “Bernstein.”

               “Yes, Maggie Bernstein. Does she have any kind of that social media crap?”

               “Yeah, she has a Pentagram.” Roma brought it up.

               “Excellent. What does she like? Hobbies, food, music, I need it all.”

               “What on earth for?” Roma asked.

               “I am going to woo her.”

               Roma laughed until she snorted. “Woo her? What century are you from?”

               “Fine, charm her. Whatever. I’m gonna get into her pants so we can get into their good graces.”

               “Are you out of your mind?”

               “Look, you took this job to learn how the business works. This is how it works.”

               “Sleeping your way to the top?”

               “What? You expected morality? Here? We write heresy, dear. In Hell.”

               “No, I’m actually more concerned with your ability to do it.”

               “My ability? What’s that supposed to mean? I may be dead, but I’m still fully functioning, thank you very much.”

               “Oh god!” Roma looked ill. “Not that. Holy Hell, not that! I meant, what makes you think she’d even go for you. You aren’t exactly…”

               “I’m not exactly what?” Farraway put his hands on his hips.

               “You’re short and ugly.”

               “Wow. Way to be blunt.”

               “Call ‘em like I see ‘em.” Roma shrugged

               “I’ll have you know, I was quite the ladies’ man back in the day.”

               “Was this day any time in the last two decades?”

               “Hardy-har-har. I have, shall we say, a way about me.” Farraway straightened his tie. “So, just show me the lucky lady, and I’ll brush up on my…what is it she likes?”

               “Buster Keaton movies.”

               “Really? I thought you said she died recently.”

               “She did. Who are you to talk, Mr. ‘I’m gonna woo her?’”

               “Weird. Well, okay. I can sit through The Kid, I guess.”

               “Pretty sure that was Charlie Chaplin.”

               “Whatever.” Farraway rolled his eyes. “Let’s see her.”

               Roma clicked on the profile photo, and turned the monitor toward her boss.

               “Wow.” Farraway cringed. “She’s…well, this’ll be easy.”

               “Don’t bet on it.”

               “Come on! I mean, she’s probably really needing the attention. I’ll be doing her a favor.”

               “Look,” Roma turned to her boss, “I may be a demon, but I’m still a woman. And when a woman isn’t considered stereotypically beautiful, she learns to see through any games. And this woman, she’s survived Hell for the last six years as a human soul. You know how hard that is. She won’t be easily fooled.”

               “Oh, what would you know about not being pretty?” Farraway laughed. “Look at yourself.”

               “Actually, I’m considered quite average by demon standards.”

               “Really?’ He viewed her skeptically. “I find that hard to believe.”

               “You’re a human soul,” Roma explained, “We are designed to attract you. It’s the whole ‘siren call of evil’ thing. But really, I’m a solid 6 by demon standards.”

               “So what do you suggest I do? Just give up?”

               “Why not put all that effort into your actual writing? Get the contract based on your talent, which you do have, though I’m loath to admit it.”

               Farraway shook his head. “Trust me, I’ve got this.”

               Roma shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

______________________________________

                 “Mr. Far-away?”

               “Fair-away,” Farraway corrected as he turned around to see what could only be described as the personification of frump. Maggie had shoulder-length dark hair, liberally tinted with grey. She was even shorter than Farraway, with sensible shoes, thick, black-framed glasses, and a wardrobe that screamed “I give up.”

               “Nice of you to invite me to dinner.” Maggie took his hand, giving him a look of suspicion. Suspicion was a normal enough way to regard someone in Hell, but hers seemed beyond the standard level of distrust.  

               “Well, if we are going to have a professional relationship, I’d like to get things off on the right foot.” Farraway put on a winning smile as he pulled out her chair for her.

               “I see. Well, I really must see some samples of your work.”

               “My assistant will send my manuscript in the morning,” Farraway replied, “For now, let’s just enjoy this night.”

               The waiter came and poured them each a glass of red wine. “You struck me as a cabernet type.” He winked.

               “You’ve seen my social media.” Maggie looked unimpressed. “I post a lot of wine memes on BeezelBook.”

               “I may have glanced,” Farraway admitted. “What? You didn’t check up on me a bit?”

               “No.” Maggie took a sip of wine. “This is pretty good. What is it, a 2014?”

               “Yes, ma’am.” Farraway tried to keep the charm turned on, but he knew his game was slipping. He quickly grasped for the first thing that came to mind. “You know, the Light Theater is having a silent film night. Maybe we could go together.”

               “I emcee that function.” Maggie did not look up from her menu.

               “So tell me, why the fascination with silent film?”

               “The silent part.” Maggie looked at him pointedly.

               Farraway sat quietly, except when it came time to order.

“So, why did you invite me out tonight, Mr. Farraway?”

“I merely thought it would be nice to get to know you.” Farraway tried to put on the charm, but it seemed she had some means of blocking it, like she was wearing SPF for his ultraviolet suave-ness. “If we are going to work together, it would be nice to have a little something to talk about, other than heresy.”

“Mr. Farraway,” Maggie paused as the waiter placed a filet mignon in front of her, “Heresy is literally all we have in common.”

“Well, now, we don’t know that just yet.” Another smile he thought was wining, but actually just looked rather forced and pathetic.      

“Let’s cut to the chase. You invited me out in the hopes of wooing me into the contract.”

               “See?!” Farraway shouted, and a few patrons turned their heads. “It isn’t that weird a word. Yes. I wanted to woo you.”

               “Oh, honey. I’ve looked like this for a while. It takes more than some wine and a movie invite to get a contract.”

               “You mean there was a chance?”

               “No.” Maggie replied. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not above a little schmoozing. But this contract is simply too important to base on anything other than raw talent.” She took a long sip of wine. “And if you had any, I doubt we’d be having this conversation right now.”

                 Farraway went home to his dingy studio apartment on the east side of town, utterly defeated. His plan had failed, and he still hadn’t come up with anything to present to Maggie for the meeting. Not that it mattered. He had completely blown any chance of the contract with his ill-conceived date night. Wishing he could get properly drunk or take an Ambien, Farraway trudged to bed, exhausted.

               It had not yet occurred to him that Jackson hadn’t returned from topside.

                  “Justin…Justin!” Farraway awoke with a start as Roma shook his shoulder.

               “Hummmgh. Wha…how did you get in?” He mumbled as he turned his face away from the center of his pillow, a fine line of drool on the case.

               “It’s supposed to be you telling me that I’m late, not the other way around.” Roma said, clearly worried.

               “Ah, shit.” Farraway looked at his bedside alarm clock. Eight forty-five. He slept in long enough for Roma to show up late, realize he was late, and drive all the way to his apartment from their office to wake him. Yikes.

               “Just…take the day off,” Farraway rubbed his eyes, “There’s nothing to be done.”

               ”Nothing to be done?” Roma looked at him incredulously. “Jackson is missing!”

               “How long has he been gone?” Farraway asked as he and Roma stumbled into the office.

               “I haven’t seen him since he left for that basilica job you sent him on yesterday.”

               “Okay, so twenty-four hours,” Farraway fired up his laptop. “That isn’t too bad. Maybe he just went on a bender.”

               “No way.” Roma shook her head. “Jackson doesn’t touch anything but cigarettes. Not even booze.”

               “What?” Farraway stopped what he was doing and looked up in complete disbelief. “You mean he’s naturally like that?”

               “Weirdly, yes.”

               “That’s somehow more concerning than a drug habit.” Farraway rummaged through his desk contents until he found a small whistle. He immediately blew it.

               “You think I didn’t try that already?” Roma asked.

               “It was worth a shot,” Farraway shrugged. “And don’t go through my desk.” He paced for a few seconds. “Okay, we need to think about this logically. If he doesn’t come when summoned, there are only a two reasons why. Either he’s dead or he’s trapped somehow.”

               “Well…maybe he’s just ignoring you?”

               “A phone call he can ignore. The whistle? No.” Farraway rarely used the whistle. As a former go-between himself, he found it quite dehumanizing. But this was rather urgent.

               “What happens when…you know…you die? I always wondered.” Roma asked.

               “The living clause of the contract is finished, and you’re brought down to Central Soul Processing and prepped for your eternal job.” Farraway explained. “But I should have been notified. Any messages regarding his termination in your inbox?”

               “Who knows?” Roma sighed, frustrated. “Damn computer crashed this morning. Again.”

               “Okay, here’s what we’ll do,” Farraway said. “You go down to Central Soul Processing and see if he’s down there. I’ll go topside and get the materials. Then I’ll look for Jackson around the basilica.”

               “But…You’ll have to possess someone.” Roma curled her nose in disgust at the prospect.

               “Well, we don’t have any other options. There’s no way you could get your visa in time, and if he’s trapped or something…well, we need to get this contract done soon.” For a demon to go topside, loads of paperwork is involved, and wait time on a visa and possession permits. Human souls, however, were considered resident aliens of Hell, and could return Topside any time. Most didn’t, because it wasn’t comfortable. But they could.

               “Don’t pretend.” Roma smiled slyly. “It’s not just the contract. You’re worried about him.”

               It was Farraway’s turn to crinkle is nose. “Gross.”

_________________________________________________________________________________

                 Farraway hated being topside, especially in Phoenix. The 12-hour time difference was jarring. The heat was like opening an oven, only instead of smelling fresh-baked cookies, you got dust and urine. And the memories were…well, that was a mixed bag. How the hell did Jackson manage to get himself trapped? If he found the tweener, he had plans for him. Plans that involved hooks, slow poison, and a flow chart.

               While being dead certainly had its advantages, one of the disadvantages of leaving Hell as a human soul was the hit-or-miss interactions with solid objects. In order to steal the paperwork needed for his project, he had to actually touch them.

               So first order of business was to find someone to possess. Someone not liable to be believed, should they talk about the experience. A child was out, as he would need some height, not to mention the unlikelihood of finding one at the late hour. An elderly person may not have the agility that could be required, and ditto on the late hour. As he turned the corner, Farraway spotted a homeless man pacing by the underpass. Perfect. By the look of him, the guy had a substance abuse problem, or some kind of mental illness. He was muttering to someone only he could see, and looked as though he hadn’t bathed since Clinton was in office. At least, he appeared to be muttering. It was hard to hear anything over the sound of overlapping sirens.

               While living humans portray possession as a horrifying experience for the possess-ee, it isn’t an overly comfortable experience for the possess-er, either. Which is why the phenomenon isn’t nearly as common as many of them believe. The actual process only takes a moment, but the accompanying headache and nausea lasted for 15-20 minutes. While this is uncomfortable for the living person, it is doubly so for the possessing spirit, as an actual body, and the aches and pains that come with it, are so foreign to them.

               This guy had a back problem, and the pain hit Farraway like a truck. In fact, an actual truck almost hit him like a truck as he accidentally stumbled into the street. Thankfully, the Tacoma just barely missed him.

               He was quite a distance from the Basilica, but that was the least of his problems. He wasn’t familiar with the building, its security system, or where the texts were located. But with few other options, he began walking in what he believed was the right direction.

               Then he felt the tremors.

 __________________________________________________________________________

               Roma arrived in Central Soul Processing after fighting through what could only be described as endless construction. After waiting in line for what seemed an eternity, she made it to one of the twenty windows. A bored-looking, bespectacled demon was holding an iPad.

               “Name?” She asked, somewhat nasal.

               “Um, it’s not for me. It’s for a friend.” She replied. She woman looked at her over her glasses. “You’re a demon. You’re looking for the Central Soul Retrieval office. They’re next door.”

               “No, no.” Roma said. “I’m looking for my human friend. Jackson. He’s a tweener. We need to know if he’s died.”

               “Jackson…what’s his first name?”

               A long pause.

               “I…I don’t actually know.” Roma suddenly felt embarrassed. How could she not know his first name? She had worked with him for ages. “Could you just pull up all the tweeners with that name and see if any have died recently?”

               “One moment, please.” Her practiced response sounded almost like a recording. Then a huff. Then some mumbled profanity.

               “What’s wrong?”

               “Dammit! Tomek! Tavi! This damn app froze up again!” Sure enough, many of the other workers were also complaining. Two identical demons came out from the back, looking frazzled.

               “We know, we know,” one of them said, hurriedly pushing buttons on his own iPad. “We’re doing everything we can. There’s been a huge influx today. Some sort of earthquake up top. The SoulSorter app just can’t handle the data overload.”

               “We’re gonna have to restart the system,” the other demon announced to massive groans. Then he turned to what could only be his twin. “Call Heaven’s IT. See if they’re having the same problem.”

               “Seriously?” Roma asked, exasperated.

               “Look, lady,” the woman at the window snapped, “We have bigger problems right now. If your friend died, he’ll eventually be sent to his supervisor. Just cool your tits until then. And maybe learn his damn name.”