#he took the planned name of the other guy tho lol

[matoitech]

new guy alert!! i went in to design a different character who ive been trying to work out in my mind and came out w a guy with a mullet. as one does. character designing similar to what happened when i tried to design cas and came out with lucas instead and was like okay well lucas fucks and i must keep him so theyre just two seperate guys now and i STILL have the original guy to design. but anyway i like him and im glad i liked the first pass of a design enough to work w it so he may go thru some changes since originally this was just gonna be laying down color ideas for the other guy and he morphed in2 his own thing

[autism-corner]

i ordered some pronoun pins from an etsy shop and they arrived fine and well.... except for a the fact that a month later the same exact pins were delivered to me. again. so ive gotten twice the pins :(

[ryozakidesu]

After You - N.JM

1/4 diary of the heartbreakers

summary: ➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

"Break my heart, and you'll only find yourself inside."

GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature themes

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, Addiction, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)

WC: 19k (I got carried away, lol)

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

Enjoy reading! -ryo

"Look who finally decides to show up," Jeno welcomed Jaemin with open arms, Haechan and Renjun following in pursuit.

"Come on, I just saw you guys about a week ago. Don't be dramatic." Jaemin loosened his tie, sat at the vacant seat beside Renjun.

"No Yeri today?" Haechan smirked, obviously mocking Jaemin.

"She has plans with her friends," Jaemin wants to shift the topic quickly, not wanting to be the center of attention for so long.

"Are you sure its not because she hates us?" Renjun looked at Jaemin with his brow raised.

"She hates everyone." Jaemin grabbed the flute glass in front of him as he saw the waiter come by with champagne.

"No offense, Jaemin, but I hate that her too." Haechan, eating the garlic bread. Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"Makes two of us." Jeno chimed in, drinking his champagne aswell. Jaemin didn't say anything, waiting for Renjun's addition to his girlfriend's hate train.

"All of us hate her, actually. Sorry man but your girl is literally the reincarnation of the devil." Renjun.

"You guys done? I know she isn't the best but she's still my girlfriend?" Jaemin, like the other times his friends tell him how horrible his girlfriend is, try to defend her even tho he knows that they're partly right.

"Yeah, we know. One of the mysteries even Sherlock Holmes can't fucking solve." Haechan chuckled. Jaemin let out a sigh and drank the champagne in one shot. He barely gets a break from Yeri, and when he does, his friends still mentions her name in every conversation they have.

"She disrespects everyone, literally went out with you just to show you off to her friends. I don't understand why you're still with her." Jeno rants, trying to make Jaemin understand. He doesn't mean to drag Yeri, but Jeno cannot understand how the likes of Jaemin, will go out with Yeri who treats him like shit.

"No shit, dude. Neither do I." Jaemin admitted, leaning back on his chair before dragging his hands through his hair.

"How about Karina? She's great, you went out with her a few times, right?" Haechan.

Jaemin, for the ninth time this night, rolled his eyes. "She moved to Paris."

"Joy? The girl you took to Haechan's birthday?" Renjun, pulling up a picture of Joy he searched on instagram, just to show to Jaemin.

"Engaged to Sungjae." Jeno answered that one, Sungjae being one of his acquiantances.

"Oh, I know this girl from Busan--"

"Can we not talk about my fucking love life?! Y'all are just stressing me out, God damn." Jaemin massaged his temples, just wanting a breather. Before he went here, he already had an argument with Yeri.

"Chill, man. Fine.. jeez. Just wanted you to know your options." Haechan looks away and shrugged his shoulders. To be fair, his intent was truly innocent. They just wanted their friend to live a happy life.

As per Jaemin's wish, they moved on and changed the topic to something else. After a few drinks, Jaemin started to let loose.

He wondered about a lot of things. One of which is on how he ended up here. Stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want anymore. Seeing his friends and how happy they are really hits something inside Jaemin. When will he find that? Will he even find that?

Just like the other nights Jaemin drinks himself to slumber, a few glasses in and he starts to think of something so dangerous yet so good. Something forbidden, something he would probably regret. He thinks of you.

Jaemin's greatest what if. You were like a fever dream, a memory he would cherish forever. No one can compare to the beauty hold. You were Jaemin's drug, so captivating, yet so vicious.

He wondered where you are. Are you doing fine? Are you happy?

Sometimes Jaemin hopes you still think of him. That his relevance in your life, although it was short, still lingers in your mind once in a while.

And the memories you and him had, even though it was temporary, Jaemin wishes it was enough for him to believe that you'll meet again.

Jaemin met a lot of pretty girls. All of them, actually. Yeri, despite her frowned upon attitude, was actually beautiful. That's what drove Jaemin to ask her out in the first place. He just wasn't aware of the other things that comes with it. No one can deny the beauty that Yeri holds, and even tho it contrasts his friends opinions, they know that Yeri is still one of the prettiest girl Jaemin had.

But was she the most gorgeous? No. Because there was you. They all fall behind, after you.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

The first time he saw you was at the school's cafeteria. You're an art student which he could clearly tell from the messy pencil on your bun as you ate with a friend at the back of the canteen. He knew that friend, Jeonghan, because.. he might've slept with his sister. He still couldn't remember tho, he was stupidly drunk that time.

"Who's that with Jeonghan?" Jaemin asked, still his eyes not leaving your face. As corny as it sounds, everyone's faces blurred out when he saw you.

"That's Jiho's bestfriend? I think? Wait, isn't Jiho that one chick you banged last week?" Haechan, the resident insider was the one to answer. Jaemin mentally cursed himself. You're Jiho's bestfriend. Usually that doesn't matter to Jaemin but somehow he felt some sort of guilt into taking an interest with you. Inevitably, you'll know what happened with Jiho and Jaemin, and you'll definitely see Jaemin as this asshole who slept with your bestfriend.

"Everybody knows that he slept with her, dude." Jeno chimed in, smirking.

"More like, everybody heard." Renjun followed, which earned a hefty laugh from his group of friends. Usually, Jaemin would respond with a strong punch in the arm but he was still in a dilemma on how he should approach you without giving off an asshole vibe in him.

Jaemin came up with a plan. Not a good one, but still, a plan. He would casually pass the Arts building, specifically where you usually hang out which was at the Art studio at the top floor, (don't ask him how he found out-- he has his ways) and just ask you where the exit to the building is since he never really got around this part of the university.

His plan sounded good, and just to be assured, he asked Haechan. Which wasn't a very good choice but the way Haechan got around the girls in the university, he deserved some credit. In typical Lee Haechan way he responded, "That'd totally work, dude. I don't know how that would go wrong."

Well, Jaemin now know how it would go fucking wrong.

As the plan goes, he reaches the top floor of the building and walked towards the Art studio at 5pm, because according to his sources, you like to stay after class to do your project on the Art studio. Again, don't ask Jaemin how he got those information. Which is proven to be credible, because he did find you sketching on a canvas by yourself. He could hear a faint music playing on the studio as you sketch, which Jaemin could tell was a portrait of a lady.

He cleared his throat, as he opened the door. Just like in his script, he spoke,

"Hey, uh, excuse me? I've been finding the exit from this building and uhm, I just can't. Can you-- uhm," Okay, fine, Jaemin did fuck that one up. But how can he not, when you turned around so majestically with the golden sunray perfetcly hitting your face which gave Jaemin a full view of your beauty?

"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" You stood up, walking towards the speaker and turned it off.

"You know me?" Jaemin asked a dumb question. Everybody knows who he is. He's a fucking famous-- wait, no, he's just famous for fucking. That's it.

"Jiho and all the other girls around this place can't stop talking about how big your dick is, so I'd like to think I'm familiar with you, yes." Sarcasm fit perfectly with you, Jaemin thought. Although, he did not expect you to be this harsh given your soft exterior, nonetheless, he still found you pretty.

"Uh, that's uhm-- not the point, I need to find the exit." Stick to the plan, stupid. Jaemin had thought.

What surprises him even more was your sudden burst of laughter. What's so funny? Embarassment started to fill Jaemin, finding the whole situation dumb and stupid. Why are you laughing at him? This is the first time Jaemin felt this. Usually, girls are all over him, why are you laughing at him like he's some stupid idiot?

"Do you realize that if you're trying to find the exit, you go down the building, not the top floor?" At that exact moment, Jaemin wanted to bury himself alive.

--

"Dude, I didn't think you would fumble this bad." Jeno couldn't hold his laughter after Jaemin told him what had occured in the Art studio. There was only Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin in the dorm today, Haechan was steering out of Jaemin's view eversince he received a threat from his friend, quote, 'I'm gonna burn your hair off your scalp, Lee Haechan'

"You just turned around and left? Are you serious?" Renjun was more like dumbfounded. He expected more from Jaemin, being infamous in their little friendgroup for being a lowkey manwhore. He could not believe Jaemin could act so-- foolish?

"I didn't know what to say or do, bro. This is Haechan's fault, fuck!" Jaemin looked like a prepubescent teen screaming into his pillow. A couple leg-flailing and he'd successfully portray a thirteen yearold boy.

"This one's on you. You know damn well Haechan could pull that shit off with his over confident ass. Whats with this girl anyways?" Jeno asked, with little to no care about whatever Jaemin answered. He already knew you were Jaemin's type.

"You know Jaemin and his thing for innocent girls, Jeno. Are you not with him for the last seven years?" Renjun stated, which Jeno just nodded and shrugged.

"But the way she shut you down, I wouldn't say she's too innocent." Jeno had the other two thinking. Yes, with your soft brown hair and cute features, especially your love for art, you look like the stereotypical good girl that captured Jaemin's eyes. But your encounter says otherwise. No good girl can resist Na Jaemin. Everybody knows that.

Na Jaemin, contrary to his friend's beliefs, is the recent most popular man in his school. All of them were, but every student that knows him, (which is everyone) Na Jaemin is number one in his little friendgroup. He's the perfect balance between a player and a charmer.

Nobody hated the guy, they all liked him. Had the title of Prom King for four consecutive years, and has a squeaky clean reputation. Oh, don't get him wrong tho, he's a manwhore, still. Its just that every girl he has been with doesn't have any bad thing to say about the guy. He's got a great dick and even better personality. Word got around that even guys wouldn't mind if he slept with their girlfriends. That's how loved Jaemin is around the campus. He has a way with words, that once Jaemin calls quits on a girl, that girl would even say "Thank you."

Jaemin likes to think he's just being nice, but Haechan calls him a professional manipulator and gaslighter. Which if you do see it in a technical way, Jaemin's sweet words does affect the way girls interpret his intentions. Because in all honesty, he's just fucking and ghosting. But with a couple of I'm sorry's or Sweetheart's or maybe even a little bit of 'You don't deserve a man like me,' Jaemin easily could bounce out everytime.

"Also, why have we not heard about her? I mean, a face like that? Its impossible that she hadn't shown Haechan's radar." Renjun stated. Its true, it does feel weird that none of them knew who you were, specially Haechan. He's quite literally the hot girl radar and you definitely qualified as one. Its rate that Haechan never made a move on you, or even talked to you.

"Maybe she's really weird or has like a third nipple." Jeno sounds genuine, which was even worse. Jaemin couldn't help but question how is this man his best friend.

"Can you not be a twelve year-old?" Jaemin, as he threw a cushion over Jeno's side.

"Anyways, let's go back to Jaemin being a stupid idiot,"

--

["You got it?"] Renjun's voice was heard through the phone.

"Yes, you bitch. Now once I get home, I expect my beer and chicken laid in my table perfectly, or I'm burning your book." Its almost 7pm and almost everyone had already left the campus but Jaemin. Renjun had asked him to fetch his book from a friend, because Jaemin is the only one staying in the campus this late. For the reason being, well, he had a little make out sesh after his last class with Jiho.

Jaemin wasn't intentionally doing it just to spite you, its just Jiho was a great kisser. And maybe to get information about you, just a little. But that did not happen because he did not have the chance to actually talk to her about you as his mouth was a little preoccupied.

As he walked through the hallway, a door suddenly opened, which revealed you, hair dishevelled and your shirt was wrinkled. He knew that posture too well, out of all people, he's the one most familiar of it. You just did the nasty with someone.

In the school grounds? Jaemin scoffs. He was about to approach you when another body also came out of the room.

No way. No fucking way! Jaemin's eyes went wild, his jaw slowly parts as he saw who it was. He quickly hides behind one of the lockers to avoid you seeing him, only peeking his head a bit to confirm what he just saw.

Nurse Suh. You're sleeping with the school nurse. Jaemin was utterly shocked, as he contemplated on what he should do next. You're definitely not the innocent and soft girl he thought you would be, you're so far from it. And as far as he knows, Nurse Suh has a girlfriend! And not to mention, it's illegal!

"Nurse Suh?!" The three of his friends couldn't believe it either. Jaemin just could not keep the information to himself. He knew he could trust his friends.

"I mean, yes he's hot but isn't he like 34?" Jeno questioned.

"Dumbass, he's only 27. Him and my older brother are friends." Haechan said, then quickly looking back at Jaemin.

"And she's what, 22? I don't see anything wrong here." Haechan shrugged. Of course, out of all of them, Haechan would find this situation fine. He had slept with a teacher before, and called it his 'great awakening'.

"He has a girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Renjun said, hitting Haechan in the back of the head.

"So? You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Honestly, if I was Nurse Suh, I would tap it too." Followed by a playful chuckle, Haechan got another slap in the back of the head, this time, from Jeno.

"Stop hitting me! I need to protect my braincells, I need to pass the test tomorrow, you assholes." Haechan whined, massaging his head.

"Wait, Haechan, did you not know her before?" It was Jaemin's turn to ask, genuinely curious on why Haechan never made a move on you.

Haechan is basically like Jaemin, but even more evil. Sure, they're both manwhores but Jaemin leaves nicely. As to Haechan, he would leave without saying a word and pretend to not know you the next day. While Jaemin would receive love letters, Haechan receives death threats and some hex put on him. Its not like he's bad in bed, because if he is, he wouldn't be able to get his dick wet as frequent as he is now. It's because Haechan does not care for people's feelings.

"I did, I know who she was." Haechan shrugged. All three of them looked at him.

"Why didn't you.. like... tell me about that?" Jaemin's voice was small, a bit shy with what he just said.

"Because It's kinda funny when you get turned down." Haechan had a smile on his face whilst he said it. Jeno shook his head and Renjun just scoffed.

"Please tell me you're joking." Renjun. The boy laughed even more louder while shaking his head and before he knows, a flying cushion came straight to his face. But it didn't stop Haechan from smiling like an idiot.

"You know what's ridiculous, Haechan? That fucking faded out starwars shirt, because I'm gonna make you eat it you fucker!--" Jaemin fought back, reaching out for his friend but Haechan quickly moved away from him

"I'm sorry, Jaeminnie-- but I did try to flirt with her but she's cold as ice, man. And you all know how persistent I am so when me, Lee Haechan, gave up on a girl, you know that girl's impossible. And I heard that she never dates, well, I guess now I know why." Haechan explained himself but Jaemin is still annoyed and pissed.

"So you just let your friend get his ass handed to him? You should've told Jaem, man." Jeno.

"Admit it, It's kinda funny when Jaemin gets rejected. I mean, it almost never happens. And the one time it did, we're not even there to witness it." Haechan keeps smiling, pissing off Jaemin more, but his mind is else where.

---

"I had to say, I'm surprised you called me twice this week. Am I finally cracking your fuckboy code, Na Jaemin?" Jiho had a smirk on her face when he approached Jaemin at the closed off audiotorium in the science building.

"Can you sit down first?" Jaemin scooted a bit and gave space for Jiho to sit down. He has a whole different plan today, and although inviting the girl in his usual makeout spot almost always leads up to them hooking up, this time Jaemin is persistent on asking Jiho about you.

"This is weird. Aren't you taking my skirt off?" Jiho hesitantly sat beside the boy, expecting a kiss but instead, Jaemin has his brows furrowed and seemed bothered

"What? No. Not now. I just want to ask you something." Jaemin turned his body facing Jiho.

"You're being weird." Jiho leaned away a bit, still confused about the whole situation.

"You know y/n?" Jaemin goes straight to the point. Jiho had a visible shock in her face. She never expected your name to pop out from anyone's mouth, and especially not Jaemin's.

"Yes? Why?" Slowing her words, she inspected Jaemin's features.

"Nothing. Why haven't I seen her before?" The question Jaemin is most interested about.

"She's never gonna be interested with you, or anyone. Leave her alone." Jiho suddenly stood up, turned around and walked away as fast as she can, but not as fast as Jaemin.

Before she could even leave the auditorium, Jaemin got a hold of her wrist. "Why are you this weird about her?"

"I know you think you can woo her because you're Na Jaemin and you're a fucking playboy or some shit, but I'm telling you, not even as your hook up buddy, she's worse than you. So I suggest, as your friend, stay. away. from y/n."

---

"This is totally not weird. Yeah sure, I mean, we're just following a random girl walking down the street. Totally not weird." Renjun for one was scammed into doing this. Jaemin asked him to go with him and go buy some pants in the mall for a promise for Haidilao afterwards. Ofcourse Renjun is gonna agree, because he would never pass a free hotpot.

What Jaemin failed to say is that he has a little side quest on his itenirary for today. For someone who's unbothered most of the time, Jaemin is going insane thinking about the mystery that is you. And Jiho's outburst absolutely did not help at all.

"We're not following her. We're just y'know... happens to be in the same way as her." Jaemin knew what he was saying was bullshit, and that Renjun would never believe a word he says. But he would never admit that he's letting someone go and do cartwheel on his mind for almost two weeks now.

"Except we can't walk more than ten feet closer and we've been turning in the same corners as her for about thirty minutes." Sarcasm did not need to be noted.

Jaemin didn't listen and continued walking the same direction as you. This is definitely out of his character, but he has to know you. He's been intrigued enough to actually make an effort to atleast know who you were.

Suddenly, you turned left, into a busy cafe. "You promised me Haidilao, Na Jaemin. Not coffee!" Renjun started being a little irritated. He's hungry, exhausted and disappointed from Jaemin's fake promises. He doesn't need coffee right now, and hell, he's not gonna sit inside a cafe when he could have hotpot right now!

"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Jaemin dug into his pocket and reached for his phone, typing for a minute and Renjun felt his own phone vibrated.

"Nice. I'll see you later, Sherlock Holmes." Jaemin sent Renjun money for hotpot, which quickly shifted the boy's mood.

"You're useless!" Jaemin yelled as Renjun walked away. "You love me!" Renjun replied with a smile as he skips away.

Jaemin hesitated a bit if he should enter the cafe. Is it too much just to suddenly show up where you are? No. This is the townsquare, students from his and your school are frequents here. It's not gonna be weird. Right, definitely.

The cafe is full packed, quite a line forming. There seems ro be no tables available, but Jaemin still decides to go inside. But as soon as he steps inside the cafe, his feet turned ice cold.

"Alright! I know, I'm sorry!" He sees you hurriedly putting on your apron, as another man seemingly upset with you. He quickly steps into the line of customers, and he just hopes that once he's on the counter, you would be the one serving him.

Jaemin thought he had time to calculate how he's gonna approach you, but the line was quickly moving, and he swear, he's fucking nervous. What if you didn't remember him? Or find him weird for being here?

As the last one in front of him turned to leave, he's finally infront of you. Unfortunately, you weren't looking and focused on the monitor in front of you.

"Uhm," he cleared his throat, trying to get your attention.

"What can I get you, sir?" Your customer service voice was obvious, and quite frankly, annoying. You smiled brightly at him, which he deemed so fake.

"Iced Americano, small." Jaemin's voice was deeper than usual, partly because he's nervous, and maybe because he wanted a cool guy impression.

"You literally followed me here just to get a small americano?" The humour in your voice makes Jaemin embarassed. Wide eyed, Jaemin feigned confusion, not wanting to be caught in 4k.

"I wasn't following y-you?" One thing Jaemin was bad at, was definitely lying. The way he stuttered at his last word says so.

You fought a smirk, again, leaving poor Jaemin feeling so little. "Sure, and the gravity isn't real."

"I swear, I'm not--"

"I'm on a break by 6:30. One small americano, right, sir?" You smiled at him, and Jaemin can fucking feel it. His heart skipping a beat.

"Make that large."

----

His drink already warm, ice all melted into one bland coffee, Jaemin started to feel pathetic. He's been sitting here, on the side of the cafe for almost three hours. He's realizing how stupid he is for doing all of this for someone who's not even that... special. He doesn't know you. You're pretty, yes, but there's always gonna be another girl who's prettier. Maybe its his dick thinking and doing the decisions earlier, but Jaemin saw his entire reputation go so far down if anybody knew he waited for you for three fucking hours. He never knew he could do all of this for a pussy he can easily get with other girls who would even beg for him.

Simmering in his own thoughts, Jaemin huffs and almost stood up to leave, Until he saw his phone, 6:29.

Shit, only one more minute wouldn't hurt anybody? No. Fuck her for playing hard to get. I'm Na fucking Jaemin! Who does she think she is?!

Just as Jaemin actually stood up, he saw you walking slowly towards him while undoing your apron, smile on your face making his knees literally weak that he had to sit down again.

"Leaving already?" You asked, sitting in front of him.

"I-I was just... stretching my legs." If his friends are here to hear the words he just said, he might just jump off a cliff.

"Sure. Now, tell me, Na Jaemin-ssi. What the fuck do you want from me?" Okay, now this, Jaemin did not expect this. Your words sounded harsh but your soft voice says otherwise. Being passive aggresive just makes Jaemin confused all over again.

But fuck it, you wanna play hard? Jaemin can do that. His patience wearing thin, he leaned back on the chair and smirked, almost like flipping on a switch in his aura.

"I want to fuck you." Jaemin didn't whisper, or even lower his voice. He said it so casually, and he noticed your confident stare flinch for a bit.

"I would, but I'm afraid you're not my type." Its like you two were having an asshole-off and seeing who's more cockier than the other. Jaemin isn't competitive, but he's not gonna lose this one.

"Don't be silly. I'm everybody's type." Jaemin definitely won by that line. Or so he thoughts.

"Judging from words on the streets, You're a walking STD. I think I'm gonna pass." This time, Jaemin's sure that you're just pissing him off. Maybe this is your way of playing hard to get, but Jaemin likes to play dirty.

"I fuck a lot but I'm clean, and even if that happens, I'm sure your little school nurse friend can help you." Visible shock in your face, its clear that Jaemin pushed your buttons. Your confident facade slowly shaking, as you gulped and blink trying to process what he just said.

But that didn't last long, only seconds after, you pulled back your smirk. "Oh, you've done some research, I see."

"Now come on, pretty girl. What do you say?" He started to feel it. He's cracking your hard shell.

"Are you really good in bed as they say you were?"

"Go on and ask your friend."

---

"Holy f-fuck, J-jaemin.. shit.. slowdown!" Your table aggressively banging as you bent over it, Jaemin mercilessly pistoning you from behind. His pants not even half way down his thighs, the lower hem of his shirt in between his teeth, showing his glistening abs flexing as he thrusts.

His left hand locking both yours behind your back, and his right hand keeping your head on the table, facing your side. Your mesh tights has been ripped, your skirt all the way up your stomach. One by one, your things that was left on the table started to fall on the ground, as Jaemin's aggressive thrusts forcefully moves the table on a rocking motion.

"Shi.. fuck, I'm coming.." Your hoarse voice was prominent, only motivates Jaemin to hit even harder. Only grunts and growls was heard from the boy, his moans blocked by his shirt between his teeth. Jaemin wasn't only fucking you, he's proving a point aswell. To you, and to himself.

He removes his hands from your head, allowing you to look at him from behind. His free hand brushed his hair backwards, still keeping his tempo. Sweat dripping, his thrusts started to stutter. He then grabbed your face, and pulled you to his chest. Letting go of the shirt in his lips, he whispered, "Come with me, sweetheart."

His hands finding your waist as he felt your walls tighten, an intense whine leaving your mouth as your leg shakes quietly. That triggered his own release, murmuring a few curse words as all his movements halts. Only heavy breathing was heard, everything else dead silent. He slowly pulls out, earning a moan from the both of you.

"That was.." You couldn't even finish, fixing your clothes, quickly sitting at one of your chairs on the table, afraid your knees might give out.

"Intense." Jaemin tucked himself on his pants as he sat down in front of you.

"Not bad," You smirked at him, trying to keep your composure. Jaemin smirked back, proud of himself.

"I thought I wasn't your type?"

"Gotta know what's all the fuss is about. I guess the cat died and curiousity wins." Out of breath, you suddenly picked something on the floor, and Jaemin notices that its a marker that had fell from the table.

"If you wanna do this again," you stared grabbing Jaemin's arms and writing your number on it. "...give me a call, yeah?"

"How about Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't wanna sound like a little whiny boy but he had to ask. Is she still going to continue seeing him?

"What about him?" You raised your brows at him.

"Won't he be mad?" Jaemin can see the laugh you held in, before shaking your head.

"We're not in a relationship, and will never be. Same goes to you. We just fuck and go. I'm clean, I hope you are too, and we're not passing the line of being each other's fuck buddy. None of that corny shit, or you're out. I hope you understand, Jaeminnie, you're just a good dick with a pretty face." Your soft face does not match the words you just spilled out. And Jaemin thinks he's hit the jackpot.

No commitments? Just good sex? With you? He thinks he's in heaven. He can't wait to tell the boys about this.

If Jaemin was in the movies, he would've fisted the air and smiled like an idiot.

"Here's to good sex?" Jaemin offers his hand, which you gladly accepted. "Good sex indeed."

---

Jaemin never minded what day it is. Just as long as he did what he needs to do today, he's fine. Tomorrow will have to wait. But eversince you, suddenly he felt impatient and counted the days until he saw you again.

After a few weeks, Jaemin and you saw each other twice a week, mostly Thursdays and Sundays, the days where your schedules matched. Jaemin never knew he would be stuck with one girl for this long, but damn. You're too good. You keep Jaemin on his toes every time he sees you. You were like a gift, waiting to be opened everytime. The excitement and the thrill always feels brand new. And Jaemin would never admit it, but every week, he'd hope the other days go by quickly and wishes it was Thursday again.

"He's smiling like a creep again, Jeno! What the fuck is up with your bestfriend?!" Haechan dramatically hid behind Jeno as Jaemin walked inside their little hang out spot, the old elementay library that became abandoned throughout the renovations.

"He's apparently getting the best pussy in the campus." Jeno shrugged and pushed Haechan away before he plopped himself down the couch.

"You're banging Im Hayeon?" Haechan widen his eyes as he strides towards Jaemin.

"No, dimwit. He's fucking y/n." Renjun, unbothered as usual as he continued drawing in his iPad.

"No way-- no fucking way!" Haechan gasps, grabbing Jaemin's shoulder as he shook it. Jaemin slaps away Haechan's hands and pushed him aside to sit beside Jeno.

"Shut up, Haechan. You're being dramatic." Jaemin pulled out his phone, hoping he would see your name pop up. Surprisingly, nothing but social media notifications greeted him, message requests and follows from people he doesn't know. He checked what time it is, 2:45pm.

Okay. Its still early. She'll text later.

"In all seriousness, dude, do you guys talk? like aside from doing it-- I mean." Jeno's tone was unusual. It's like he's being careful about something, or he wants to say something.

"Yeah? The fuck? D'you think we just fuck and go? Of couse we talk. Why?" Jaemin noticed Jeno's way of talking, turning his whole body towards his bestfriend.

"She tell you something about her?" This time, Renjun and Haechan leaned in.

"Get to the point, man." Jaemin.

"Nah, cuz the girl I was with last night told me that she's really... uh, popular at her previous school." Jeno, knowing the whole context, winced at the word 'popular'.

"What do you mean?" Jaemin's smile when he came here was no longer visible, replacing it with a frown as his brows creased in nervousness.

"I don't know-- man, I think you just... ask her, y'know?" Jeno wasn't comfortable sharing the information he had, but he knew Jaemin needs to know. But he wasn't sure if he's in the place to tell it.

But Haechan did not give a fuck. He's intrigued, and before they knew it, he's deep inside his phone texting someone.

"What are you doing?" Renjun asked.

"Since Jeno is being a pussy and won't share, I'm finding it out." And a second before Haechan could even type another letter, Jeno grabbed his phone away.

"Don't! Don't fucking search it. We should respect her, man. She's still a girl and I heard it was taken down---"

Haechan gasped even louder, even breathing out an "oh my god", He didn't say it out loud but the four of them were thinking the same thing.

"Holy fuck, she has a sex tape?!" Haechan, ofcourse was the first one to break the silence.

And once again, you surprised Jaemin.

---

"I'm famished, god damn." You sat beside Jaemin on your old couch, digging a spoon on your bowl of cereal. Your top barely even buttoned, you started eating a spoonfull after another.

"Slow down, you'll--" before Jaemin even finishes, you caught something in your throat and coughed almost everything in your mouth.

"What did i tell you? Aish-" Jaemin quickly then grabbed the tissue beside the couch and started to wipe your face. He grabbed the bowl from you, putting it aside and wiping some of the milk that had spilled on you.

He then stood up and walked towards your kitchen, as if he owns the place. Next thing you know, he comes back with a glass of water in his hands.

"Thank you," you managed to blurt out in the middle of your coughing and drank the water.

"I thought you didn't have a gag reflex the way you sucked my dick earlier," Jaemin joked, earning a playful slap in his shoulder from you.

"Shut up, movies starting." Jaemin didn't give a single fuck about the movie playing on screen. Haechan's voice keeps ringing in his ear, and as much as he wanted to stay out of it and respect your privacy, something in him wants to know. Its like an itch wanting to be scratched.

"Tom Holland's like the perfect spiderm-- Jaemin?" The boy's trance was interrupted when you call his name. He didn't realize that he was staring off to nothing instead of watching the movie he picked.

"Yeah?" Jaemin blinked thrice before looking at you, your eyes peaked interest as you examined his face.

"You're out of it, what're you thinking?" You paused the movie, moving your body to fully face him.

Jaemin can't wait. He has to know. "Just curious, where did you say your last school is?" He hoped his question wasn't too obvious.

"I didn't say anything?" Okay, hold up. Plan backfired. Fuck!

"What? I-I swear you told me, like, last time? Sacre--"

"Sacred Heart. Yeah. And no, I didn't tell you about it." Like the many times, Jaemin was nervous. Again. You make him so.. unlike himself. What the fuck is it with you?

"Oh, wait, are you sure--"

"You heard about it, huh?" Jaemin couldn't tell if the smirk on your face was a good thing. He doesn't want to fuck this up, and he's starting to think he just did.

"I'm sorry, If you don't want to talk about it--"

"It's fine. It's not that bad. Hell, It could've earned so much if it was uploaded in a porn site, y'know? Stupid Mr. Nakamoto," You chuckled, nonchalantly turning your body towards the screen again, as if what you just said didn't just shocked Jaemin to the core.

The fact that you weren't bothered about it, and even sounded like you're bragging about it wasn't the main thing Jaemin was apalled by. "Mr. Nakamoto?"

You smiled, as if you were reminiscing, "He was my Biology teacher. Couldn't accept the fact that I'm leaving him so he went and blackmailed me with the video, but his phone got stolen and poof, it spread around like a wildfire. If you ask another person tho, they'd just say I spread it myself. You choose what you believe-- I don't really care." And you looked like it too. You did not care, because if you did, you wouldn't just tell all of this to Jaemin.

"Did anything happened to that assho-- Mr. Nakamoto?" Jaemin feels heated. He doesn't know why, but what he knows is he wants to suckerpunch whoever that Nakamoto is.

"Got his license removed, but you know what's even more fun?" You leaned onto him, your lips next to his ear and whispered, "His wife was so devastated her husband had to find someone younger to fuck, she filed for divorce the very next day."

And just like that, Jaemin was left speechless. Again.

---

"Jaem, someone's looking for you." Renjun tapped his friend's shoulder, pointing at the student standing on the door. Jaemin slowly opened his eyes, way too tired to even stand up, and looked who it was.

To his surprise, it was Yoon Jeonghan. He knew this would come sooner or later, since he had a.. thing with his sister for a while. But he never thought that Jeonghan cared, afterall, Jeonghan never talked to him about it.

But oh boy, was he wrong.

"Heard you're fooling around with y/n?" Jeonghan was serious. He wasn't looking at Jaemin, he's just staring ahead. His hands on his pocket, as Jaemin stood behind him, confused.

"Yeah? What about it?" He knew you and Jeonghan were friends, he often sees you with him. But why does this conversation feel more intense?

"And my sister already talked to you about it, right?" This time, Jeonghan looked at him.

"Yeah, she's being weird about it." Somehow, Jaemin wants this conversation to be about Jiho instead of you. He wishes Jeonghan was only after him because of his sister, because then, he knew what to do. But its you. Jaemin never know what to do with you.

"Because she's right. You should stay away from her, man. Just-- a friendly advice, alright?" Jaemin hated how Jeonghan sounded so sincere. What could be so awful about you that even this man, who he never even talked to, warned him about you?

"Dude, not to sound rude, but how the fuck does me fucking around with y/n, your business?" His voice slightly getting sharper, owing to the fact that he hated getting told what to do.

"You're a good man, Na. I'm sure there's more prettier-- even more fucking hotter girls than her. She's not..." Jeonghan paused, almost saying something he would regret, "... good for you. I've known her forever, and she's not the type to be with."

"I know you're older than me, and I mean this with utmost respect, you and your sister should mind your own business. I don't know what she did to you and Jiho, but she's fine. And we're not even together! We're just fooling around! Y'all are so dramatic." With that, Jaemin turned around and left Jeonghan. He sounded so unbothered by all of this, but in all honestly, he's starting to question if there's really a valid reason on why Jeonghan and Jiho was so sincere about you being apparently, a bad person.

The way you laugh at Jaemin, the way you smiled, you tell your stories, and everything Jaemin saw you do, you being a bad person doesn't make sense to him. Sure, you've done some fucked up things but Jaemin never cared about that. You showed him genuine happiness, and Jaemin could never see you in the light that Jeonghan and Jiho painted you out to be.

And just like clockwork, your name popped up in his screen. Just as if everything in the past fifteen minutes never happened, his steps became slightly faster as he grabbed his things. He couldn't be more excited to see you again.

---

"This is pretty." Jaemin pointed out a painting, whilst he dressed himself. You were also doing the same thing, but you looked at where he was pointing at.

It was your artwork from last year. The canvas was leaning beside your dresser, along with other canvasses that you never put up.

"Wonderstruck." you said. You were a bit appalled that Jaemin noticed the only work you were actually proud of. It wasn't even displayed in the front, it was almost entirely covered by unfinished canvasses.

"Wonderstruck? That's its name? It's really beautiful." Jaemin sounded sincere, he really found the painting pretty. It was a couple, sitting by a river on golden hour. Sky was the shade of orange and blue, nighttime seeking in but the sun's still there, laying real low. It was in a middle of a field, lavender flowers scattered around.

It was new to you, men showing interest on something more than your face and body. It sparked something in you, Jaemin knew that with the way you jumped out of your bed, biting your lip, hesitating for a second, "Want to show you something."

"What do you think?" You were standing beside your kitchen table, with a few printed photos of people Jaemin didn't know. It was all in black in white, and all of them showed genuine smiles.

"Cool. Who are they?" Jaemin was adjusting his belt as he scanned every picture. The way you're looking so innocent and fluffy, showing him your photo collection can fool a person into thinking you did not just have mindblowing sex minutes prior. Jaemin stifles a laugh.

You, in your overalls smiled so brightly at him, excited that Jaemin showed interest on your work. "They're random people I saw on the street." You were fidgety, kept on arranging the photos. Looking at Jaemin for any signs of validation. Jaemin thought you were so cute, but he never said it out loud.

"Is it for your project?" Now, Jaemin doesn't have a single clue about the Art department in his school, but he knew it's important for you, so he tried his best.

"No. I just did it." You took one picture and showed it to him upclose. "I just like to see people smiling, you know? There's just something so precious with asking people to smile for you. Because when they do, you can tell that they just feel.. pretty. And I like making people feel pretty." You were so caught up in explaining that you didn't notice how Jaemin was looking at you. And he was thankful you didn't see it.

The way his eyes just expressed a thousand strings of emotions he's afraid to show almost felt dangerous, he didn't want to get caught. But for a moment, he let it happen because he was sure you were focused on something else. All the while he was focused on you. Because while you were explaining how smiling makes people pretty, he was thinking that you didn't need to smile and he's already thinking that you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.

But before you could even looked at him, Jaemin quickly focused his gaze on the photo you were showing him. "That's cool. But I never knew you were into photography aswell. I thought you were into paintings only."

"I'm into art, Jaem. And art comes with different things. Although I like painting more, photography is my second favorite. Here, before you go," Swiftly, you grabbed your polaroid camera and stood beside Jaemin, putting your arms around his shoulder making you stand on your tippy toes, and angling the camera where it could capture you both. Jaemin was caught by surprise but he still managed to smile and pull you tighter.

As soon as the flash disappeared, you removed yourself from him and grabbed the film. "This one's for you, so you could remember who your best sex was." She winked at him and chuckled before going back to rearrange her photos.

Jaemin, on the other hand, his eyes never left your figure. He was in awe, he was amazed, and fuck it, he was wonderstruck. But most importantly, he was fucking scared.

---

The next thursday came, and surprisingly, you didn't call. Jaemin liked to think you were just busy, so he never reached out. There's still sunday, he thought. And even if you didn't reach out this sunday, its okay. It's not like you had to keep the schedule, right?

Besides, Jaemin was busy aswell. He's planning Jeno's birthday. Usually, Renjun and Haechan was the one assigned to planning parties, but Renjun was occupied and Haechan wasn't feeling it. They were still helping Jaemin, its just that Jaemin wanted to throw a party for his bestfriend this time. Also, to take his mind off of you for a bit.

If he wasn't busy and occupied with something, Jaemin might go insane thinking about where you are or why you haven't been calling him. So he initiated.

"How fucking long is your list, Jaemin?" Renjun couldn't believe how long he's been scrolling through Jaemin's list for the party invitations. Yet, he isn't surprised.

"You know you can just announce that you're throwing a party and literally everyone who knows you and Jeno will come, right?" Haechan, laying on the couch scrolling mindlessly on his phone.

"Nah, I don't want some weirdo showing up uninvited." Jaemin pointed out, but he left out another reason. He wanted to waste time on listing names just to get you out his mind even for a short time.

"Well don't forget about Jisung's best friend." Haechan smirked.

"Jeno's brother's bestfriend? That's weirdly specific, bro." Jaemin added, shrugging his shoulders. Still, he wrote it down.

"A little birdie told me that Jeno has a thing for his brother's bestfriend." Haechan chuckled, fixing his glasses.

"What? How come I never knew that?" Jaemin asked. He's Jeno's best friend and an information like this would surely come up. Yet its the first time he's heard of this.

"That's because you're so far up that mystery y/n girl's ass you're starting to look like anal beads, bro." Renjun winced at Haechan's choice of words, but then again, he's used to it.

"I'm not, dude. I'm here most of the time, aren't I?" Jaemin looked at Renjun for validation, but he just rolled his eyes at him.

"He's actually right, Jaemin. You're whipped." Renjun added, smirking.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm literally here in front of you guys, on a thursday, which I'm supposed to be with her-- but I'm not because she didn't call-- but also because I want to be with you ass--"

"The more you talk, the more you prove our point. You're fucking whipped, Na Jaemin." Haechan sat down properly, playfull shoving Jaemin to provoke him. Jaemin just hit Haechan's hands away but that didn't stop the boy from annoying him.

"Think of it, dude. You went through two months with her-- only her. Two months-- dude. That's fucking bizarre for you. It's either that pussy was gold, or-- just like what we're saying, your ass is whipped." Haechan was pissing Jaemin off, not because he doesn't agree, its because he does. And admitting that would just fuck up everything you two have.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are tripping, big time. I'm not whipped." Lies tasted bitter in his mouth. He might just be whipped.

He walked out of their hangout room, and just as he opened the door, his eyes widen. You were there, standing with your messy bun, clueless eyes and a box in your hand.

"H-hey?" Jaemin was caught offguard, as he closed the door behind him.

"That room looks like it stinks."

Jaemin chuckled, it does. "Mostly of weed and old furniture. What's up?"

"I,- uh, baked some cookies. Just-- y'know, wanted you to have some." You awkwardly raised your box of cookies to present them to Jaemin, and it takes so much of him not to melt on the spot.

"Thank you," Jaemin resisted the urge to call you 'baby', mostly because he didn't know if he was allowed to do it outside your apartment.

"Tell you what-- why don't we eat it together?" Jaemin.

"I'm free until 4:30?"

"Cool, we can go to the garden, there's barely any student there."

Jaemin smiled and grabbed you by your wrist. "But I know a much more cooler place."

"Really? Where?" Jaemin stopped, and it was your turn to hold him by the wrist.

Jaemin didn't ask, he just let you drag him anywhere. You could take him to a lion's den, he wouldn't care. Anywhere is fine with him as long as you're there.

After climbing on a flight of stairs, Jaemin noticed that you two ended up on Art department building's rooftop.

He hasn't been in here, and it was.. interesting. It looks like any other rooftop, messy and full of unused class chairs, except there was a spot where there's an old couch, just like what they have on their hangout spot. There's a random mini refrigerator and a lamp-- thats it.

"This is my super secret place. Be greatful I let you in here." You squinted your eyes at Jaemin as you patted the seat beside you, basically asking him to sit.

Jaemin did so, and looked ahead. He can see the entire school campus in here.

"This is pretty." He whispered.

"Much better than your stinky room, huh?" You bragged, opening a can of cola that you have on the mini fridge.

"Hey, how come you have that? We requested to have one but the stupid school didn't let us."

"Oh, this little guy? Johnny helped me with it." You smirked, tapping the blue mini fridge.

"Johnny?" A new name in Jaemin's books. Who's Johnny?

"Nurse Suh? His name is Johnny Suh, you didn't know?"

"I didn't." His vibe went a bit south, but he didn't let that spoil your moment together. It was rare for you to approach him in school, and he wanted to have that moment.

"This is good, damn." Jaemin munched on the cookies you got for him and it was honestly tasty. Better than any other cookies he had before, or maybe he was biased and his judgement was greatly affected by the fact that you made it. Eitherway, the cookies are delicious.

"I only made one batch and even that was too much for me. I wanted to give some out but.." you paused. "Funny, you're the only one I had in mind."

"Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't even know why he brought the guy up again, but he did.

"Nah, we don't do that." You smiled.

"And we do?" A tinge of hope sparked in Jaemin, that maybe he had some difference between him and Nurse Suh. Maybe you do treat him more special. A guy can dream, can't he?

"Sure, we do. I mean, I can't just throw away this exceptionally good tasting cookies, can't I? And you're the only one I have right now.. so."

Jaemin was enthusiastic. He felt like he won something. He can't help but smile even more, but also, he felt bad. When you said he was the only one you have, he thought about Jiho and Jeonghan.

"What about the Yoon siblings?"

You let out a humourless chuckle, more like a scoff. "Jiho doesn't talk to me anymore and Jeonghan.. well. It's complicated."

"I swear I just saw you two eating at the cafeteria." Heck, that's how he found out about you. Because you were sitting at the cafeteria beside Jeonghan.

"He just sat with me because he felt bad I was eating alone. Also I barely go down there to eat-- so he kinda just.. I don't know. Let's not talk about them anymore, Jaem."

---

"Look at me, baby." Jaemin whispered, softly grabbing your jaw to turn your head towards him. He has you on your side, holding your right thigh up as he slowy thrust. He can see that you're near, and damn, he can feel it too.

"J-jaem.." You start shaking, as your entire body give out. Looking into his eyes, his own pleasure wasn't on the table anymore, he just wants you to feel good. He can safely say that you are indeed the prettiest when you cum, and he's glad he can see you this way.

"That's right, sweetheart. Let go for me, will you?" This was very different on how you usually do it with him. You were usually intense, rough and fast, but something about tonight feels more... passionate. Jaemin never went any faster than his current tempo, yet he still hits every spot. Slow and deep, while he looks at your face, admiring the beauty he's glad he had the priviledge to see.

"Kiss me, Jaemin." You didn't even have to ask twice, Jaemin already dipped his head lower to reach your lips, tasting you while your walls tightens, your whimpers covered by his own lips, you just came.

Once Jaemin pulls away, he pulls a few strings of hair strands away your face to see you. Your eyes glistening, and not long when you let a tear drop. Jaemin could never wish for anything more than this.

"You're so beautiful, y/n." He whispered, more to himself, than to you.

"Thank you." You softly answered, smiling at him and giving him another kiss. Jaemin then let go of your thigh, instead wrapping his arms on your waist. It seems like you got the idea that he's near his climax so you positioned yourself in a way that he gets more of you, sticking your backside out more thus facing away from him.

"No, no, princess keep looking at me." Jaemin whispered and you followed, facing him again.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked sensually. His thrust slightly getting deeper, but never faster. His eyes went back and forth with both of your eyes as he nodded.

"For you, my love." He mumbled. His jaw slightly ajar, brows furrowed as he let out a deep moan, abruptly staying still and you felt his release warming up your walls.

"You did so good, Jaemin. So, so good." Your compliments just adds to his pleasure. Shivers ran down his spine, he manages to calm himself after his intense climax.

"You're so good to me. I lik--" Before Jaemin finishes, you pulled away from him.

"I'm taking a piss." You said, forcing yourself to stand up and walk your way to the bathroom.

And just like how he felt so good seconds before, it suddenly got washed away with the feeling of dismay. He can't believe he just attempted to say that. Fuck. Running his hands on his face, he mentally curses himself for being wreckless.

You were still in the bathroom when Jaemin heard a few knocks. He's confused, grabbing his phone to look at the time.

9:47pm. Who could visit you at this time?

He grabbed his boxers and quickly putting it on, as well as his shirt but he didn't bother to make himself presentable. He opened the door and his eyes widen.

"Nurse Suh?" He eyed the tall man, and the guy eyed him too. Both of them are confused as to why the other is standing where they are.

"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny wasn't even sure why he was asking that, it's clear with Jaemin's shuffled hair and obviously--- him in his boxers.

"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Jaemin sounded rude, but he does not give a shit. Nurse Suh poses as a threat to him and your-- uh, situationship -- and Jaemin doesn't have a reason to be nice to him.

"Where is she?" Johnny's voice was full of concern, as he looked past the younger boy just to get a glimpse inside your apartment. That's until Jaemin steps outside, and closing the door behind him.

"What do you want from her?" Jaemin looks at him, and although the guy was taller and has a bigger built, again, he doesn't care.

"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Johnny's tone and him mocking Jaemin pissed him more. Letting out a huge breath, Jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes.

"You know-- you're whole relationship with her is fucked up, right?" Johnny was surprised on how Jaemin just turned off the calm facade. He didn't expect him to be triggered like this

"What relationship? You out of all people should know she doesn't do relationsh--"

"Yeah, whatever. You can't fuck around with her anymore, man. You're a fucking school staff, and she's a student. Also, you have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how you're okay with this."

"The same way she's okay with it. Look, kid," Johnny closed his eyes and massaged his temples, he continued. "... me and her, we've been through some shit. Shit that you can't handle. But I know.. man, you care for her. And I don't want to hear your bullshit, you do care for her. And I do too. But she's not the kind to be with, y'know? She's gonna ruin--"

"Fuck! You weren't the only one who fucking told me that. I don't know what she did to you, but she's fine with me. If you think of her as this fucking tragedy on legs, then maybe you don't really care, don't you? But I do. So get off my fucking ass and don't see her again. Or I'm gonna have to report you." Jaemin didn't know where all of his words came from, but it did feel good. He doesn't think about the consequences of everything, but one thing's for sure. He's not gonna let anyone talk shit about you anymore.

Johnny, tho, never flinched. Instead, he smirks and even let out a chuckle. "You've got some nerves, kid. Okay. I'll back off. But don't come running back when she breaks you." he then turned around and got ready to leave, but a few steps in, he turned to Jaemin again.

"...oh, and tell her Happy birthday."

Jaemin stood there for a minute, watching Johnny leave. It's your birthday? How come you never said anything?

After a few deep breaths, he went inside the apartment again. Just in time when you walked out the bathroom, hair all wet and with a set of new pajamas.

"You done?" Jaemin approached with a smile.

"Yeah. You wanna take a shower?" You looked up at him. He shook his head as he patted your head. "You hungry?" he asked.

You smiled even more, looking up at him expectantly, "Please?"

"Okay. I'll go get us some food, alright? You don't worry your pretty little head." Jaemin gave you a kiss on the top of your head before getting his pants and keys, walking out of the apartment.

Not even half an hour, Jaemin came back. Not only with takeout, but also a bento box. You looked at him kind of confused on what it is, but when he opened it, your eyes widen. It was a small cake that he bought on the convenience store. He wanted a much more expensive one but he also wants to get back to you as soon as possible.

He then pulled out a small candle, sticking it onto the cake. Pulling out a newly bought lighter, and lighting the candle. "Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish." He smiles softly at you.

When all of this was happening, you didn't say a thing. You just looked at him with your glassy eyes, your mouth slightly apart. You blinked hard and fast before finally tracing back to yourself, "I'm.. how did you know?" you asked.

"Doesn't matter. Now come on, candle's burning out." Thats when you looked down on the candle, quickly closing your eyes, clasping your hands together as you thought hard about what you're wishing. Seconds after, you opened your eyes and blew on the candle.

Jaemin was still smiling, setting the small cake aside to give you a kiss on your forehead. He was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist.

"Why do you have to make me so happy, Jaem? You make it so hard. So hard." You whispered, but Jaemin heard everything. He desparately wanted to answer, because he had an answer. And its something he's afraid to tell you. Because the result was uncertain. Its either it goes perfectly well, or he lose you. And he's not gonna take that risk.

So instead, he just returned your embrace, but even more tighter, giving you another kiss on your forehead. "I don't know." he answered quietly, lying to you and to himself.

"You're a good person, Jaem. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your vulnerable voice made Jaemin feel warm. In a way, you sounded truthful. You felt genuine.

"You're lucky, then." Slowly, Jaemin. Lay it on her slowly.

"I can't have you." Your bitter smile showed.

"Why not?" Every second counted, every breath you take suddenly mattered.

"I can't do that to you," With a shaking voice, you buried your face in his chest even more.

"I don't understa--"

"Just shut up, shut the fuck up and let me have this." And with that, Jaemin never muttered another word. Instead, he just held you closer like this was the last time he gets to do so.

"Jaem?" You looked up at him, Jaemin looked dow n at you with his eyebrows up.

"I'm sorry." You said. And Jaemin didn't want to ask why you were apologizing, he doesn't like to know the reason behind it. Because he doesn't want you to give him a reason why he needs to forgive you about something.

---

"I think I'm inlove with her."

"Ya think?" Jeno, deep inside his phone, seems like he's stressed about something. Never minding his best friend's struggle, because everybody already knew Jaemin was inlove with you. It's not new information.

"Fuck! Shit!" Both their heads turn as they saw Renjun ran inside their hangout spot and closed the door.

"Hell is wrong with you?" Jaemin asked, but Renjun ignored him and proceeds to lock the door.

"Why's everybody so weird today?" Jaemin mumbled.

It is a very weird day for Jaemin. Somehow, he feels like something's not right. Well, yeah, his undying love for you was one thing he was stressed about but there's more, today's not like every other day, he thought.

That goes on for the rest of his morning. Its like he's waiting on something to happen, like everybody was so tense. You didn't text or call either, which was feeding onto Jaemin's paranoia. It's not like he's being clingy, but he's genuinely feeling something unsettling in his chest.

Maybe it was the coffee he had this morning, or maybe the fact that he's never had this dilemma about a girl before.

So, finally giving up his pride, he texted you.

4:50pm jaemin: wya

4:52pm jaemin: heyy

4:58pm jaemin: ??

You not answering definitely did not help. So, the next big thing he can come up with was go to your apartment. Not a smart choice but Jaemin never once claimed to be smart.

Once he took a step towards your door, for a moment. Jaemin regretted going here. He can see that your lights are on, and can hear shuffling inside. But fuck it, he's already here.

He thought you had someone over, maybe Johnny, or someone else. That made him heated. But the closer he was on your front door, he heard yelling-- and another voice, which he could tell was from a girl.

The door was ajar-- and once he was right infront of it, he could hear everything.

"Y/N! Please! Not him-- he's a good person. You know that!" He confirmed that it was Jiho who was arguing with you.

"I don't care what you feel, Jiho. Get the fuck out of my apartment!"

"Leave Jaemin alone--" Once Jaemin heard his name, his feet froze on the spot.

"Why the fuck are you so nosy? Is it because I stole your little Na Jaemin? Then go ahead! Get him back! But, oh-- newsflash, he doesn't want you anymore. Washed up and used--" The sound of a slap made Jaemin finally interfere. He walked up inside your apartment and saw you holding your cheek and Jiho crying. Both of them looked at him shocked.

"What are you doing here?" Jiho was the first one to speak, but Jaemin's eyes were focused on you.

"Did you just hurt her?" Jaemin was angry. The sight of your cheeks red and the fact that he knows Jiho just slapped you didn't sit right with him.

"Didn't you heard what she said?! Didn't you fucking understand what kind of person she is?" Jiho cried even more, she couldn't believe that someone as sweet as Jaemin would side with the most vile person she knows.

"Doesn't give you the right to hurt her." Jaemin threw all his principles away at this point. He doesn't care anymore.

"You're poisoning his mind, Y/N!" Jiho shouted, which you just smirked at her. Jaemin can't find the warmth inside your eyes, he just saw something empty.

"I didn't do shit, Jiho. Maybe you should just learn how to get out of my fucking trail. Or should I do something? Should I break your brother's heart for the second time?" Jaemin didn't know this version of you. Its like you've thrown away every emotion you have just to spite everyone.

"Don't you fucking dare." Jiho attempted to step towards you again but Jaemin put himself in between you and Jiho.

"Just go, Jiho." Jaemin calmly said.

Jiho didn't say anything, and let out a huge puff before walking out of the apartment, sobbing. She slammed the door shut and quickly the room went silent. None of you dared to talk for the first couple of minutes.

"I didn't want you here," you started.

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, picking up some things that fell on the floor, trying to fix the apartment. Your paint brushes, your keys, and even some of your photos were on the floor. Must've been a very intense argument.

"Did you hear me, Jaemin? I don't want you here!" your voice strained, Jaemin pretended not to hear you as he continue to clean up the mess.

"Are you hungry? Want me to get you dinner?" Jaemin's voice was as normal as it can be. It doesn't make sense to you. But everything in this situation doesn't make sense.

Jaemin should be mad. Jaemin should go and leave you. Jaemin wasn't supposed to stay.

"Whatever-- do what you want. I'm going to bed."

Jaemin likes to think that in a couple of hours, you'll come up and be in a great mood. Sun shining and all that corny shit. Jaemin was also overly enthusiastic, one that masks with the real thing he's feeling right now. Nervous. Worried.

For a couple of days. Jaemin tried his best to get you out of your apartment because remember, you two are students. You were supposed to go to school. But you never left your bed. And for the first few days, Jaemin didn't go to school too. He was in your apartment day and night, looking after you. This wasn't like you before, Jaemin swears its like you're a whole new different person.

You didn't talk, didn't want to get up, and he knows damn well you aren't sleeping for the past days. You just layed there, emotionless.

He didn't know why he was doing this. You weren't you anymore and Jaemin doesn't know who he was even taking care of anymore. But he's still here. He's still with you.

The third day went and Jaemin is still in your apartment. Ignoring his friends-- and shit, even his mom. He doesn't want them to know why he's MIA for the past few days. He doesn't want everyone to know yours and his business. Whatever happenes between you two, stays between you two.

Jaemin woke up with you sitting on the kitchen. Eyes staring at nowhere, hair dishevelled and bags under your eyes forming.

"Goodmorning," Jaemin said in his sweet voice, careful not to scare you.

"I don't know how many times I should tell you this, but you should go, Jaemin. While I'm being nice." Even your voice sounds like a stranger. The pinch of joy that used to come with your voice were no longer there.

"I will, but I need to make sure you're fine---"

"I'm fine! I don't fucking need you here!" You yelled, Jaemin flinched but still remained calm.

"Are you hungry--"

"Maybe you've become dumb and stupid that you can't comprehend a simple fucking sentence, huh? I'm done with you, Jaemin. I'm sorry but you're useless to me now. I need a new face around here and yours is--"

"You really want me to leave?" Jaemin sincerely asked, like he was tired. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded.

"Yes." Jaemin's lips formed a thin line, his jaw clenched.

"Fine." He calmly walked away-- and convinced he can't take it anymore. He was tired mentally, emotionally and physically. You didn't want to be helped and Jaemin knew he can't handle you.

But as soon as the door shut behind him, his feet stood frozen as he waited. And not even a couple of minutes, the sound of your sobbing on the other side of the door made Jaemin turn his steps.

He was tired, but not fatigued. He knew he couldn't handle you but he can try. You didn't want to be helped but maybe tomorrow you change your mind. And maybe, just maybe, he can take another day.

"Breakfast, y/n. Come on." Jaemin, the fourth day. He went home for a bit, took a shower, but quickly went back to your place. And in his surprise, you were out of bed.

He can hear the faucet running, so he knew you were in the bathroom.

A few moments later, he heard you coming out of the shower. And there you are, hair all wet, freshen up after a few dreadful days and Jaemin was starting to see the color coming back in your skin.

"You feeling better, baby?" He softly asked.

"What are you still doing here?"

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, giving you the most precious smile he had. "Come on, I cooked pancakes."

"Jaemin, get out. We're done, Jaemin. Get the fuck out!" Tears started forming again in your newly healed eyes, as you pointed out the door.

"I'm not leaving you, y/n." Finally, Jaemin acknowledged the situation.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? When I say we're done, we're done, Jaemin. Can't get that through your thick head?" Words spew like venom, Jaemin starting to feel like he's staring at a stranger. Who is this person in front of him?

"I know you're upset and you haven't eaten a proper meal in days--"

"The fuck do you care?" And with that, you ticked something off from Jaemin.

"Fuck do I care?! Y/N, you've pushed everyone around you away and I was the one who stayed! For days I didn't go anywhere and stayed with you, y/n. Do I care?! Because even if I don't know what the fuck is going on with you I still fucking stayed! So yeah, I'd like to think that I care for you because I fucking lo-- shit!" Jaemin caught himself before actually saying the thing. He knows its a deal breaker if he said it but hopefully, you already felt it.

"Did I ask you to do all of that shit?"

Jaemin can almost feel his heart shatter. You really didn't care about him, or his feelings. He had a little bit of hope. And with a single sentence, you destroyed it.

Jaemin let out a humourless chuckle. "Fine. We're fucking done, y/n."

---

It's been a week and Jaemin's friends started to worry. Jaemin barely ate-- didn't attend his classes and barely got out of their hangout spot. Jeno had a call with his mom and told him that Jaemin didn't once contact them in almost a month. And thats where Jeno knew something was wrong. Jaemin loved his mom-- and he would never ghost her.

"Man, I don't know what to do. He just flicked me off when I offered him ramen." Haechan was serious. You barely see him being this concerned-- but even him, knows something was wrong with Jaemin.

"Is it about that y/n girl?" Renjun asked.

"Probably. I mean, eversince she came into the picture Jaemin basically became a different person." Jeno haven't met you yet, but this, what you're doing to his bestfriend definitely isn't giving a good impression.

"Maybe they're done. If Jaemin's looking like this and haven't mentioned a single thing about her, I think that's what this is." Renjun said, looking at his friend, and his sleeping figure.

"I have an idea." Haechan stood up and huddled his friends, but Jeno and Renjun stepped away. "No, Haechan, you don't."

"What? At least I'm trying to help our friend!" He grabbed both of his friends again, "Anyways-- we should introduce him to another girl. Get him back in the game, y'know?"

"What are we talking about?" The three of them almost jumped when Jaemin was suddenly huddled with them.

"Nothing! We're just thinking about how much booze we're buying for Jeno's party." Haechan's quick wits came into action but Jaemin didn't buy it.

"Stop being weird." He casually walked back to the sofa and plopped himself down again.

Jeno tho, had enough. "You're weird! What the fuck is with this act, bro? You look lovesick or some shit."

"m not doing anything, the fuck are you on about?" Jeno got even more pissed, because Jaemin was blatantly lying.

"That girl you're with is causing trouble, dude. You're barely going to class, we haven't seen you in days, you didn't call your mom in a week and just for her to fuck with the school nurse?" Jeno's still calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. But he figured that Jaemin needs to hear it one way of another.

Jaemin was visibly confused. What did Jeno mean about you with nurse suh? Didn't he already dealt with that?

"Saw her yesterday at the nearby convenience store with Nurse Suh. I don't know, dude but she's not worth all this shit. And I don't even wanna talk about the stuff I heard about her previous school, man." Haechan was a little hesitant about confronting Jaemin, but since Jeno has already started it he's got no choice but to just say it.

"You're out of your mind if you think you have the right to say all that shit. You don't even know her." Every word that Jaemin says was delivered with so much intensity, even the boys were starting to feel uneasy.

"We're just confused Jaem, eversince you met that y/n girl its like you became a whole new perso--" Renjun was cut off when Jaemin let out a scoff.

"Okay, I see what's going on here. If we're airing out our business here then let me have my fucking turn." Jaemin stepped towards Jeno, "You, aren't you shagging your lil bro's bestfriend? Yeah? Guess what, so is half the school."

"Hey, the hell? What's wrong with you, man?" Haechan interfered. He knew the look that Jeno has right now was serious, and he also knew that if he didn't get in between them, chaos will ensue. So he quickly stepped beside Jeno.

"What the fuck do you know about me and her, Renjun? I minded my own business when you went out with your girl out of pity." Jaemin doesn't know where that came from, but it already went out his lips. He wasn't the one to say things like that but somehow it came out. Renjun was fazed, to say the least.

"And you--" Jaemin let out an sigh and smirked, slowly turning towards Haechan. "You talk high and mighty but everybody knows you're a fucking cheater, Lee Haechan. So you, especially you, doesn't have the right to even mutter a thing about her. Because if we're talking about being an asshole, you take the fucking throne." Jaemin's eyes are empty, and so his mind. He just wanted to say anything to get back at his friends without thinking.

"Fuck you, man. Seriously. All this for that girl? You look fucking pathetic, Na Jaemin." Jeno was aggravated and fuming, but he was never gonna go down with violence, specially with his best friend. He knew better.

"It doesn't even fucking matter what you think about her anymore, cuz y'know what? We're done. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. So go ahead and talk shit about her but make sure I'm not in the fucking room next time." The room was silent, they didn't know what to say. Obviously because this was the first time they saw Jaemin like this.

"I think this shit got out of hand, I know you're upset but we're just genuinely concerned, dude." Renjun, now on the much calmer side, tries to difuse the situation.

"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore what you said because I know you're upset, Jaemin. But come on, man, you've met her what? For two months? And you're already losing yourself? I swear if this could be any other girl I wouldn't say anything but man.. she's only trouble. And you can get angry at us all you want but I'm glad you got out of that situation." This side of Haechan was rarely seen, because it only comes out when they need it the most. And for Jaemin, its also rare that he agrees with Haechan but this time, he did.

For the next week, Jaemin tried to bring himself back, and his friends noticed it too. He became active again, going to parties with them and even got back to planning on Jeno's birthday party. There was no sign of you, your name or your presence. Jaemin was starting his old ways again, meeting some girls here and there.

"Hey, what did I tell ya, huh? She's great, isn't she?" Haechan grinned at him, as they walked together.

"Nah, I've had better." Jaemin non-chalantly said.

Haechan looked at his friend, smile slowly getting bigger. "There's the asshole I know, glad you're back to the game, man!" Haechan with his proudest smile, shook Jaemin playfully and but the boy did nothing but chuckle.

His friends were satisfied and pretty much convinced that you were completely out of Jaemin's system. To see Jaemin go back to whatever he was before you, definitely brought back the Jaemin they knew.

"Happy birthday, man! Whew, how does it feel to be an old hag?" Haechan joked as he hugged Jeno, Jeno just playfully pushed him away.

The music was loud and people were starting to fill up Jeno's house. It's his parent's house and they were out of town, as per Jeno's request on his birthday. No one wants to party with their parents, ofcourse.

To say that Jaemin pulled off the party planning was an understatement. It was only 8pm and the party is already packed. Jaemin really outdid himself on this one, also with a little help from Haechan and Renjun.

"Happy birthday, Lee! This party is fucking lit, dude!" Yangyang, from engineering department went and greeted Jeno. "We've got Jaemin to thank for that." Jeno responded loudly, trying to communicate among the loud music.

"Yeah-- where's Na?" Yangyang asked, and Jeno was clueless as him. He knew Jaemin was in the house, he saw him earlier. But after that he never saw him again.

His eyes went around the room to find atleast Haechan or Renjun, and he only found Renjun on the side, in his phone. "He's around, somewhere." Jeno answered, bidding goodbye to the friend and walked across the room to approach Renjun.

"Where's Jaemin?" Jeno managed to ask.

"Upstairs with the girl Haechan introduced him to!" Renjun wiggled his eyebrows at Jeno, and Jeno nodded in agreement. At least he knew Jaemin was having fun.

Little did they know, Jaemin wasn't having fun.

"Come on, Jaemin.. how long does it take?" The girl whispered sexually, kissing his neck like its her last meal.

"Just.. don't talk." Usually it doesn't take Jaemin this long to get hard, but the girl just doesn't do it for him. Its been almost thirty minutes and Jaemin is getting tired, but he also doesn't want to disappoint, so he tries his best to focus on the girl, but he just couldn't.

His phone constantly vibrating doesn't help, so he grabbed it and threw it on the other side of the bed.

Jaemin closed his eyes, felt every single touch and did the worst thing he could ever do to himself. He imagined it was you.

You were touching him, kissing him and giving him warmth. It's you he's with, not this girl, not any girl. Its you. And it worked. It brought back memories of you that sparked something in his body. Small waves of pleasure started. And just as he's slowly starting to function, he heard the door open.

Jaemin's back was facing the door but the girl on his lap can see who just entered. The little mindgames in his head was interupted when the sound of the door brought him back to reality.

"What the fuck? This room is occupied!" The girl with him yelled, completely destroying the fantasy Jaemin created in his head. He's back to square one again, and this time he's not trying again.

As soon as the intruder left, Jaemin lifted the girl off his lap. "Sorry, Cindy, bab--" he can't even call her 'baby'. "--but you need to go."

Jaemin didn't wait for her answer and left her on the bed while he walked and locked himself on the bathroom.

As soon as he knew that the girl had officially left, that's when he went out to his room again. His hands finding his phone, he checked what time it is. 9pm.

Jaemin brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated and strssed.

He ignored the multiple chat that Jeno and Renjun had sent, and went to an food delivery app instead.

Delivery Status: Successful

Items: 1 Full Steak Meal with Pineapple Juice and NY Cheesecake

Total: 80,000krw

Notes: Don't skip a meal :) -J

Jaemin has been sending food to your place for the past week. In exactly 9pm, when he knew you'd usually have your dinner.

The next morning, he woke up fine. He didn't really drink much so he didn't have any sort of headaches or symptoms of a bad hangover.

The house was eerily quiet, as usual, the morning after a very big party.

He was the first to wake up and the whole house was trashed. He didn't expect anything else, ofcourse seeing the amount of people last night.

He knew all four of them was still in the house tho, maybe a couple of girls, so as the designated sober person he took the initiative to prepare breakfast. It was calming for Jaemin to take care of people.

Not long after he heard a couple of footsteps, and of course, it was Renjun.

"Mornin'" Renjun, hair sticking out everywhere, still in his clothes from last night.

"Had fun last night?" Jaemin asked, smirking.

"Didn't you read the texts I sent you last night?" Renjun asked. Jaemin's smirk disappeared.

"What text?"

"Jeno wouldn't want me to tell you this but... she was here. She was looking for you but Jeno and I didn't tell her where you were. She knew that you were here because she told us you invited her a while ago, she looks so.. tired. And then she asked Jisung, who doesn't have a clue with the whole y/n situation so he told her that you were upstairs." Renjun thought that Jaemin needed to know what happened. Jeno thought otherwise.

Jaemin felt his blood drain out of his body. He remembered someone knocking and opening the door to where he was with a girl last night, but he didn't know who it was. Jaemin's heart was racing. He was sure it was you. And he was also sure how fucked up it is to find him like that.

Jaemin didn't say anything, grabbing his keys as he left Renjun thinking if he made the right decision.

"Y/n! Y/n!" Jaemin was knocking on your door with urgency, and after a few, the door opened.

You were there. Standing in front of him but why can't Jaemin find any familiarity?

You were so different. You've lost weight. You're not you-- yet his heart still beats the same. His eyes still found warmth as you looked at him. The smile that left no trace on your face still lingered around Jaemin's memories and for that he still knows that somehow, you're still you.

"Hey." You whispered. You sounded weak.

Jaemin was about to hug you-- confront you about last night but once his eyes left the beauty that is your face, his heart skipped a beat. His body froze, he felt like time stopped.

Your shirt. Your fucking shirt. You're wearing a faded out starwars shirt.

"W-what are you wearing?"

"Oh this? Ah, right! Tell Haechan thank you for last night-" You smiled, the sweetest smile that Jaemin once loved, was now stabbing him in the chest.

"Don't..-- Why are you-- I don't understand.." Jaemin finally broke down, eyes letting go of the tears he held. You're breaking him down-- you're ruining him.

"What? You thought I was better?"

"Y/n.. don't do this to me.." Jaemin whispered. Knees giving out, yet he remained still.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jaemin. I'm everything they told you I would be."

"You're just.. cruel. My friend, y/n? My fucking friend?" In contrast with his cursing, his tone wasn't angry. It was despair.

"Will you leave me now?"

"Did you.. did you sleep with him?" Stupid question.

"I don't know, Jaemin. Did I?"

"You're.. fuck, y/n you're just cruel. Cruel and fucking unfair. Whatever did I do to you?" His voice strained. Drip-drop.

"Do you finally hate me?" Drip-drop.

Drip-drop.

Drip...drop.

"Yeah.. yeah I think I do."

And there it was. The last drop of Jaemin's feelings for you. Congratulations, y/n. You've finally drained him out of love.

---

Three days, Jaemin went off the grid. He stayed with his mom, giving himself a break.

He didn't want to contact any of his friends. At least not for now. He knew he still had that pent up anger towards Haechan, and he don't want to do anything that would result in him being violent. He knew that it was all your plan, just to get him to leave you alone.

What he couldn't understand is why Haechan did it. Haechan knew what Jaemin felt for you, like shit, he knew before Jaemin even knew for himself. He was one of the people who made Jaemin realize his feelings for you.

He wished he had listened to everybody and just left you alone. He wished he took everyone's advice and minded his own business. Maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.

Eventually he had to comeback. His school isn't very much happy with him and its not like its the end of the world. Everything is moving on but him, and nobody likes to be left behind.

As soon as his friends saw him, Haechan froze. He quickly tried and approached Jaemin. "Dude. Where were you? Everybody was looking for you--"

"Don't touch me, Lee Haechan." Jaemin wasn't angry, but he wasn't calm either. His tone is strong and firm, enough to stop Haechan from his tracks.

"Is this about Jeno's birthday?" Jaemin wanted to punch Haechan for even bringing it up. How could he?

"I swear to God if you don't step back--"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jaemin?" Renjun was the one to interfere this time.

"What's wrong with me? This fucker slept with y/n and you're asking me what's wrong with me, Huang?!"

"Hold up-- hold the fuck up, What do you mean?" Jeno, eyes going back and forth between Haechan and Jaemin.

"She told you we slept together?" Haechan was legitamately confused.

"She was wearing your ugly ass shirt, Haechan."

"Yeah because I lent it to her? She was at the party and I accidentally bumped into her and she got alcohol spilled all over her shirt, Jaemin. So I had to fucking give her a shirt and then she ran away right after. You think I'd do that to you?!" Haechan was fully arguing with him now but Jaemin had remained silent.

Then why did you let him think that you did it? Why would you put him through this? Are you that desparate to make Jaemin hate you?

Jaemin brushed his palm all over his face. He was dumbfounded. He then plops down on the couch, deliberately thinking about the past few days he spent trying to get you off his head. And he thought he was damn near on succeeding, but the sudden information struck him down again.

And just as the tension was slowly coming down, a sudden intrusion on their room made the four of them look at the door.

"He's here? Na Jaemin!" Jiho burst through the door, passing through the three boys who were too caught in the moment to stop her.

"J-Jiho.." Jaemin stood up again, as Jiho stood in front of him.

"What did you do?!" Jiho was frustrated and angry, to say the least.

"Let's calm down," Renjun, the forever pacifist meekly attempted to delute the situation in hand.

"No! I told you, Jaemin! We told you to stay away from her!" Jiho.

"Are you blaming him? Your friend is a pathological liar who likes to play with peopl--" Jiho angrily turned towards Jeno, making the boy stop his rant.

"You're not part of this." Jiho then looked at Jaemin again.

"We're done, Jiho. I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her--"

Jiho smirked, "She left, Jaemin. She pulled out of school."

The room filled with silence, and it was so loud. Nobody wanted to say anything, partly because they were waiting for Jaemin to react.

"She-- what?" Jaemin was shocked. His body didn't know how to react. Every bones started to feel loose, it was so eerily quiet that it feels like he can count the seconds it takes for his heart to beat again.

Jiho's tears started to flow. "She was sober for six months, you know? We thought we finally fixed her-- she was doing fine. And then you-- you just had to come in and ruin everything."

"I don't underst--"

"I don't want to blame it all on you, because I know you're also hurt-- but Jaemin we begged you to stay away from her. But you didn't. You--" Jiho sat down, hands on her face, shoulders shaking.

"S-she--" Jaemin couldn't form a sentence.

"Where were you? In the past three days, Jaemin, where were you?" Jiho took a sharp breath, raising her head and looked at Jaemin once again.

"I was at my mom's..." Jaemin answered meekly.

"I found out last Thursday. When you saw us fighting at her apartment, that was when I caught her doing drugs. I was trying to--, fuck, I was trying to throw it away and then she got angry and started to talk about you. I guess she felt that you were by the door and started to talk about you.." Jaemin remembers that clear as day. The day you visibly changed right in front of his eyes.

"She left Sacred Heart last year because of the scandal. It hit her so bad, and that's when it started. She was introduced to drugs and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Me and Jeonghan knew her from our childhood and we did our best to help her. And then she went out with Jeonghan and that's when our falling apart happened. She broke my brother's heart and I can't even blame her because I know she only did it because she wants everyone to leave her. She thinks she's a burden to everybody. And then Nurse Suh came into the picture and helped her to get free medication, and when she did, eventually her addiction stopped. And then you happened, and for a while she was so happy. But suddenly Nurse Suh cut her off and the medication stopped. That's why she drove you away, Jaemin. You know what she told Jeonghan before she left? She said that you didn't deserve to be with her."

"She can't leave, did you check the apartment?" Denial. Jaemin can't process everything yet. He doesn't want to.

"Her stuff's out of the apartment. We found this," Jiho pulled out a polaroid picture. Jiho reached out to Jaemin, swiftly before letting go of the photo.

"She's a good person, Jaemin. She's just broken. I know you did your best, but we can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I just hope you don't hate her forever." Jiho then walked away.

Jeno, Haechan and Renjun was silent. They didn't say anything, not to disturb their friend's moment of silence. One by one, the left the room, leaving Jaemin and a photo that had a glimpse of a moment where you were once his.

It was the picture of you and Jaemin. Happily smiling. Upon seeing the photo, Jaemin finally broke down.

At the back, there was something written.

Hi, Jaem. Thank you for the food you've been sending! Although I didn't eat it, I still know that it's delicious!! Remember when we talked about photography? How I love people's smile? Guess what? I think yours is my favorite. So please keep wearing it. You're precious, Jaem. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you get the love that you deserve. Do me a favor and forget me, will you? -y/n :)

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"Is it on?" Jaemin was a giggling mess, infront of you as you filmed him beside you on your bed, nothing but the sheets.

"It is! Okay, ladies and gents,--"

"This man right here," You booped his nose, "Just gave me a mind blowing orgasm about.. hm, six minutes ago?" Jaemin laughed at the camera, before wiggling his eyebrows at it. "I did, one of my proudest talents."

"Shut up!" you laughed. "Anyways, Mr. Jaemin-ssi. Tell the whole world your age and what you want to be when you grow up!" You giggled, focusing the camera on his bare face. His eyes heavy, smile reaching his eyes.

"22, and yours." He whispered as he looked at your eyes instead of the camera lense.

"What? You barely said anything!"

"I just did what you told me, baby. I told my whole world what my age was and what I wanted to be." Jaemin can see the sudden rush of color on your cheeks. You frowned cutely.

"You're a loser." A tinge of smile you desperately hid made Jaemin laugh. He likes it when you pretend you don't like his corny takes.

Jaemin then grabbed the camera, now turned it to you, also nothing but the sheets and bare face. Jaemin is convinced this is what heaven must look like.

"Now to my pretty interviewer-- aren't you gorgeous?" You jokingly cleared your throat, smiled so big that it could make anyone blind.

"Hi, I'm y/n, Jaemin's pretty interviewer."

"So, my pretty girl. 5 years from now, how do you see yourself?" You were a bit unprepared with Jaemin's question, he sees it the way your smiles faltered a bit.

It took you a minute before you answered, "Better. I hope I can be better so I can take care of this little manchild." You somehow turned it light, grabbing the camera from Jaemin and pointing at him.

"Well, y/n from 5 years from now, I'm glad-- I hope, I'm still there by your side."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"Yeri, I've told you a hundred times, she's my mother so you need to treat her with respect!" Jaemin can't help but yell, just as he followed Yeri out of the restaurant.

"She doesn't like me, Jaemin! Gosh your mother is so-, I'm not dealing with her shit anymore, Jaemin!" Yeri yelled back, stomping her feet as she walked toward's Jaemin's car.

Yeri is Jaemin's girlfriend for four months. He went out with her upon his father's request and to his mother's dismay. His father thought Jaemin could finally settle down with a woman after you.

Jaemin can't help but grunt, looking up, frustrated and honestly just tired. Everyday he questions why he's even with Yeri. The girl did nothing but drain his wallet, disrespect his mother and treat him like a trophy boyfriend.

"She's not allowed in our apartment anymore," Yeri said as she settles herself on Jaemin's passenger seat.

"What apartment? It's my apartment and you sleep there, Yeri. And you can't just-- ban my mother from my place!" Jaemin has already forgotten the time where him and Yeri never argued.

"Did you see the way she looked at me? And you're gonna sit there and not defend me?" Jaemin admits that his mother did have a distaste with his girlfriend, but never once did his mother did anything to show that. She is not that kind of person and Jaemin's sure he's not the only one to vouch for that.

"She was trying to make a conversation and you blatantly ignored her, Yeri."

"I didn't like her tone." she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as Jaemin drove. He decided not to talk anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to argue anymore.

"What're we doing here?" Yeri saw that he parked outside her apartment complex.

"I need time for myself, Yeri. I can't handle you anymore." He expressed with utmost respect.

"Are you kidding me? You're kicking me out of your place?!" Yeri squealed, almost making Jaemin cover his ears.

"You can disrespect me but not my mom, Yeri."

Yeri smirked, crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at Jaemin. "You're trash, Jaemin. Such a fucking mama's boy. I bet this isn't even about your mother, huh? Still about that bitch who left y--"

"Get out or I'm gonna have to drag you out, Yeri. Please." Thankfully, Yeri did get out, but not walking away before she slams the door, making Jaemin flinch a bit. He makes sure the Yeri actually went in the building before he drove off.

He pulled out his phone, texting his mom. He decided that he'll just go back to the restaurant and apologize for Yeri's behavior. He knew that his mom was hurt, and he can't let the night pass without comforting his mom.

Luckily, the restaurant is near where he was so it took him about ten minutes to go back. Getting out of his car, he wondered if his parents are still there.

Looking further inside the restaurant, he didn't notice someone walking out the door so inevitably, he bumped and collided with a man. He quickly bows, "I'm sorry, man."

"No worries," Jaemin was a bit perplexed on how deep the man's voice is, but shrugged it off anyways.

"Felix!"

Jaemin felt his heart stop a beat. He knows that voice.

"I'm here," The man responded.

Jaemin was frozen on the spot. He was afraid to look behind him and put a face in to the voice he just heard, but he's sure as hell he's not leaving this spot without knowing who it is.

"Excuse me," This time, the woman was much closer to him as she walked pass Jaemin.

His breath hitched, time slows down as he saw the back of her head.

Before she could even take a step further, Jaemin grabbed her wrists, not thinking of anything,-- just the fact that he desparately wanted to see her face.

"Hey!-- What,-- Jaemin?"

There you are.

Jaemin gulped before blinking to see if he was just hallucinating but there you really are. "Y/N," he whispered, more to himself.

"You know him?" The man, who he assumes was Felix, asked, looking at Jaemin's hands on your wrist. It brought Jaemin back to reality, and swiftly let go of your hand.

"Y-yeah," Your cheeks burned, not letting your eyes away from Jaemin. It was like everyone else blurred out, and you two were the only ones in the room.

"You okay, man?" Thats when Jaemin realized that his jaw was actually a bit slacked, staring at you for a solid minute now. He shook his head to look at Felix,

"Yeah. Uh, y/n, how-- how are you?" Jaemin's breathing was starting to get abnormal, as he was really shocked to see you here.

"Good," you cleared your throat, "Great, actually. Uhm, Felix, this is Jaemin," "Jaemin, Felix." The two shook hands, Felix was still visibly confused but Jaemin was still stuck on you.

"Old friend?" Felix asked.

"Is that what she told you?" Jaemin, glancing on you.

"Yes?" Felix was starting to feel uncomfortable, as he had no clue what the heck is happening in front of him. You two looked perplexed and out of it, to say the least.

"I--, We need to go, Felix. Hey, uhm, Jaemin-?" It was obvious you were aghast, just like Jaemin.

Jaemin looked back at you again, "Yeah?"

"I'll see you around?" You uttered.

"Okay." Jaemin said quietly.

The two started to walk away from Jaemin, but Jaemin was left there frozen. In his own thoughts, drowing in memories about you. Everything came crashing back on him and it was overwhelming. After so long, you still had that power over him. You still manage to get his guard down.

This is fucking dangerous. Jaemin shouldn't even feel like this. One look, one word-- and its like his whole being fell again. Is destiny truly fucking with him? He took so long-- months, to get you out his system. Or at least burn it so deep inside his brain along with the memories you have. And for what? All of it being opened like a freshly sewed wound, all because of a three second interaction?

That night, Jaemin went home with a feeling so familiar. Like he wanted to find you again. Just like the first time he saw you at that cafeteria. He wonders if he'll see you again.

Actually, no. He will make sure to see you again.

---

"You can't break up with me,"

Jaemin sighed, he didn't know what else to do. This was the only way Jaemin thought of, specially after his encounter with you. He knew the effect you had on him that night wasn't the innocent 'seeing your friend after long time' type of thing. He knew there's more to it.

"I'm sorry," and he really is. He didn't want to string Yeri along, and doesn't want to give her false hope that this relationship is going somewhere.

"Is this about your stupid mom? Fine, I'll apologize!" The thing with his mom was also a big thing in coming to this decision. Jaemin likes to think that even if he didn't see you that night, this breakup was inevitable. It was coming, sooner or later.

"Don't-- don't call my mother like that, Yeri, please. And no, there's more to it. Please, I want a clean breakup," Jaemin didn't want to elaborate, he didn't want to hurt Yeri even more.

"You can't leave me, Jaemin! We have a party to attend-- I already told them about you! Do you want me to be embarrassed?" Of course. Of course its about the fucking party.

Jaemin was a trophy for Yeri. Handsome and rich, Yeri bragged about having him in her palms. Jaemin never complained about it but it does bother him. And Yeri bringing it up now just showed him how Yeri never really cared about this relationship.

"You can find a new boy toy, somewhere else, Yeri. I'm done." He's not gonna lie, there's still a pang of guilt when he walked away from Yeri. He knew it was unavoidable, yet it with you in the picture again, it does play a huge part.

"A fucking toast for the newly single man! I'm so proud of you for letting that devil reincarnate go!" Haechan was beyond sober, as he welcomed Jaemin who just came a few minutes earlier.

"You really did it, huh?" Renjun smiled, putting his arm around Jaemin's shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess." Jaemin shrugged. Every moment feels important to him. He doesn't have any idea when you'll show up again. So he better not drink even a drop of alcohol, just in case.

"Why the long face?" Jeno was buzzed aswell, completely leaning on the bar couch. Eyes barely open, he's been drinking quite a lot lately.

"Nothing," Jaemin doesn't want to say anything about you and his' encounter, he didn't want to jinx it.

The bar was loud and busy, yet Jaemin was quiet and stuffy. He does feel relieved, breaking up with Yeri was a huge weight off of his shoulder. But he can't get off his mind the words you said.

"I'll see you around?"

Where exactly is around? When will you see him? Is it in the same restaurant? Will you text him to meet? Is that Felix guy your boyfriend?

"You're such a bore, Jaemin. Not even a shot?" Its a mystery how Jeno managed to stand on his feet with how drunk he is but he still did, handing Jaemin a shot, which Jaemin refused.

"Not in the mood,"

"Whatever. Y'know, eversince that gi-"

Before Jeno could even finish, Renjun, which had a little to zero alcohol in his system quickly pulled Jeno down beside him.

"I'll sew your mouth close, Lee. Now sit down and let me fucking find the other Lee." He was referring to Haechan, which also is drunk out of his mind, but still ran into the sea of people on the dancefloor.

"I need a breather," Jaemin decided to go outside the bar, but making sure that Jeno is well situated first before leaving the poor man laying in the couch.

In every other situation, he would've loved to match Jeno's energy and got drunk as much as his best friend, but this time he is truly not in the best condition to do so.

As soon as the bar's door closed behind him, the sudden silence was almost deafening. Which Jaemin wouldn't tell if its much worse than being inside, since he was left with only his thoughts and the street in front of him.

He crossed the road into a nearby convenience store, wanting some water or any drink that could possibly soothe his mind.

"Thank you," He bowed to the cashier, as he paid for the drink in hand.

The store was empty. Just him, the staff, and some random music quietly surrounding the store.

He sat by the stools, contemplating if he should just go home. Phone dead, he disregarded the idea of calling Renjun, who he is sure would prefer to be with him in this quiet convenience store rather than to babysit two grown adults who can't seem to handle their alcohol.

Dropping the phone on the side of the table, Jaemin quietly opened and drank the coca cola he bought. He just now realized that this was his dinner. He forgot to eat. Funny, Jaemin being a big advocate of not skipping a meal, skips a meal.

The dingling sound of the door was heard, Jaemin never bothered to look because again, this is a 7/11. People come and go. A slight set of footsteps was also prominent, seemingly roaming around the store.

"Can I sit here?"

Wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. The music was suddenly gone and everything else blurred out.

"Y-Y/N." He stuttered. He can't swiftly grasp the situation before you sat down the stool beside him.

"Hi." Your hair a bit shorter, cheeks a bit fuller, carrying a shade of pink, your figure covered with a thick coat.

You placed a couple of kimbap in front of you and a coca cola, same as his.

"What are you doing here?" Jaemin, carefully picking his choice of words as to not show any signs of discomfort.

"I was passing by and.. actually, no. I followed you here." For a moment there, you sounded like you wanted to lie, but backtracked and told Jaemin the truth.

"Did you now?" Jaemin remembered when he followed you that one time, and it feels like the tables have turned.

"Yeah, figured we needed to talk." You were timid, can't barely see Jaemin eye to eye. From his memories, you were always confident with what you say. So seeing this demeanor in front of him was a change.

"How are you?" Jaemin asked, genuinely curious.

"Never been better," You answered back, with a full chest and a heave of deep breath like you were relieved.

"I'm glad," Every last word was quickly followed by a complete silence.

After a few moments of deep thought, Jaemin wasn't sure what to say. Yes, before you showed up, questions was flooding in his brain. Asking for answers on why you left, why'd you lie and most importantly, why did you break him for no reason.

Jaemin's thoughts mustve been loud, hence the next dentence that came out of your lips.

"I'm guessing you have questions?"

Maybe Jaemin should've had a few shots before, to ease the tension and gain liquid courage, because fuck, he doesn't think he can handle this tonight.

But for the months you were gone, Jaemin isn't gonna pass this rare chance that you showed up, much more, showing up to talk to him properly.

"Why'd you leave?" Three words that circulated Jaemin's mind on those months you were gone. A question he asked himself a lot of times.

You were still for a bit, likely thinking about the answer. Jaemin could explode at any moment, he feels.

"I signed myself up for rehabilitation."

This wasn't the answer Jaemin expected. Its somehow a blow, to him, because he was angry at you for flaking on him for no reason. But now that you answered one of the many questions he had, it made Jaemin regret some of the things he had thought of about you. His guilt crept in.

"I-, I didn't know."

"Only a few knew about that. You were one of the unlucky ones to have suffered from it, so I thought you needed atleast an explanation." You smiled bitterly, still looking outside, whilst Jaemin looked at your side profile.

You continued. "I assume Jiho had filled you up with some of my dilemmas after I left. But trust me, Jaemin. I never intended to hurt you. You're so undeserving of the things I did but I had to make you hate me. I knew you cared for me back then, more than I had anticipated and I never really wanted to give myself that. I knew I can't receive love I didn't deserve. And I can feel it too, Jaem.." you paused.

Jaem. Oh how he missed the way you called him that.

".. I can feel that you really wanted to fix me. And you truly tried your best. But back then I didn't want to be fixed. And its unfair to have you selfishly. I never slept with your friend, I just made you believe that. I wanted you to despise me, to never think about me ever again." Well, you failed on that part, big time.

"Just hoped you gave me a chance to take care of you," Jaemin muttered.

"I'm not that evil to give you a burden like that,"

"You were never a burden to me,"

You let out a humourless grin, "I'd like to believe that, but we both know that's not true. For as long as I remember, I had been apologizing for just.. existing."

"I could've been there, y/n. I could've helped you."

"No, Jaemin. I don't think so, cuz even then, I couldn't even help myself." You spoke with great sincerity.

Another cruel moment of silence passed, and it was the most intense yet. None of you spoke, as if your thoughts were connected and understood each other without even saying a word.

"You really fucked me up, you know." It was now or never for Jaemin. Might as well open the can of worms now, and regret everything later. He might not have the same courage and opportunity as now.

"I did. And I'm so.. so sorry."

"But it's fine, y/n. I was young and naive, I guess I needed that. I already forgave you, fuck it, I don't even need to because I never truly hated you. All I did was love you, and even after you broke me, I still did." Looking into the distance, after so many failed attempts, he finally said it out loud. He was ready to risk it all, again.

"And I knew that, Jaemin. And maybe, I did love you too but back then I didn't know what love is. It was so scary and overwhelming that even from a distance, I already despised that kind of feeling."

"Are you... happy?" Jaemin thought about the man you were with. And at this moment, your answer was crucial, as it was a defining moment of what step or path he should go next.

"Yes. Are you?" Looking at him, you saw his eyes fill with unspoken comprehension of what its like to be happy and sad at the same time.

Happy that you're doing great, sad because he had just accepted the fact that you're much better with somebody else.

"I have no idea." And that was the truth. He wasn't sure if theres a word that could describe how he feels.

"Yeri, right? I heard from someone that you're with her. She seems great," Oh, what a great timing.

"We broke up already."

You widen your eyes and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"

"No, its okay. It wasn't working anyways. It was bound to happen sooner or later. You and Felix?"

"He's a great friend. He helped me with sobriety and therapy." Friend? Is that so?

"I thought you were dating," Jaemin liked the way this is going, it gave him hope.

"No, not really, never had anyone after you."

Is Jaemin supposed to be proud? Nonetheless, he felt a slight flutter in his chest. He was about to make a decision that will ultimately trash the imaginary walls he tried to build.

"Have.. have you thought about what we could've been?" Oh, what a risky question.

"Yeah, even back then, I always dreamed about an alternate universe where I wasn't so fucked up and actually tried something with you." Okay. You seem fine now, you seem on track. It wouldn't hurt to try again, right? Jaemin wanted to slap himself. Do he really want to risk it again?

"You could still.. try." The answer is yes.

You furrowed your brows, tilted your head a bit, "I don't think you deserve another heartbreak, specially from me, you know?" You chuckled, yet Jaemin was serious. This time, he's set to have you. He has to have you.

"I'll gladly let you break my heart again, y/n. Trust me, you'll only find yourself inside."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Maybe Jaemin was setting himself up for another heartbreak, but this time he was certain. He was certain to give it his all-- everything he has to lose. You were worth every piece of his heart.

He kissed your lips like he held his entire life on it, like every moment were his last. Running your hands on his hair, you two blindly roamed around your apartment. Luckily, Jaemin still had the entire apartment sketched in his brain.

You felt his hands lower, lifting up your ass, signaling you to jump and cling onto him. You gladly did, and like a feather, he lifted you without any struggle. Lips still tangled together, Jaemin lowered you into the soft texture of your bed.

"I missed you so much," Jaemin groaned as he parted his lips from you. Seeing your face against the dimly lit room was majestic. Not long before he lowered his face onto your neck, giving it open mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine.

Slowly, he tugged on your shirt upwards, lifted it and revealed your soft pink laced bra, covering your breast. Jaemin didn't waste time grabbed one of you breast, caressing it gently, just enough to bring you pleasure without discomfort.

"Hmm, I missed this," He groaned again.

You whined, being sensitive to every touch he gave you. His hands worked like magic, pulling down your bra and swiftly latching his mouth on your left nipple, while still caressing the other. "Ah, fuck.. baby." you moaned.

You can feel your core dripping already, desperate for any kind of friction. His expert hands left your boob, yet not leaving your skin, just lowering to the area you were sensitive the most. In a split second, your pants was undone and a cold breeze on your center gave you goosebumps all over. "So wet for me,"

"Yes.. yes, please, touch me." You begged for him. You needed him.

"You don't need to beg, princess." Just then, his middle finger applied pressure on your dripping core, igniting a spark that felt so good-- you couldn't help but buck your hips onto his hands.

He was gonna love you, and you were gonna love him. Tomorrow's uncertain, but today was sure. You were meant to be his, and he's meant to be yours.

Let your heart get what it wants. If you get hurt, then you have to endure. Jaemin endured the entire time and its your time to gamble.

While Jaemin was still devouring every inch of your skin, you took this chance to touch his clothed member- already rock hard, seeking freedom from the confinement of his pants. You traced it before gripping it through the fabric, making Jaemin hiss in pleasure.

"Take.. it off." Barely composing a sentence, Jaemin understood the assignment and pulled away, to undress himself. His top came off first, and just like a reflex, your hands quickly find his toned chest, down to his abs. You can't help but bite your lip, seeing his body again after so long. The only difference is, this time, he has a more mature build.

Tracing your hand down to his lower abdomen, and even much lower, and helped him undo his pants. As he disregarded all of his clothes, he didn't waste time and quickly lowered himself again to you. Kissing you with burning passion, he grind his hips onto yours, and you felt his hard length poking your thigh.

Using your hand, you grabbed it by the base, Jaemin reacting so sensitive made you excited. Your hands doing up and down motion, pointing finger tracing the slit on his pinkish tip.

"Fuck.. fuck baby, god." Jaemin couldn't help but groan deeply, urging you to move faster. Your movement all of a sudden halt, as Jaemin held your wrist, stopping you. "I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that." His dark voice whispered.

"Already?" You smirked at him.

"You underestimate your effect on me, baby." Truly, you were the only person who could melt Jaemin into a puddle if you wanted to.

His hand balancing himself on top of you, as the other held his cock, lining himself onto your entrance.

"Ah.. ah, shit," You moaned, caused by the stretch. A slight tinge of pain but quickly replaced by a wave of intense pleasure as he deeply plunges until you take all of him.

"So.. so fucking tight, oh fuck." Jaemin waited for your signal to keep moving. Which you did, by lifting your hips up to create any sort of movement. He swiftly pull out, just to go in again.

"I love you," Jaemin cried from pleasure, his tempo slowly gaining speed.

"I love you so much," you replied, grabbing his face to look at you as he fucks you with intense affection.

"Y/n, y/n.. I love you." He repeated like a mantra, going in and out repeatedly. You can feel your insides creating a bubble-- soon going to pop. He examines all of your features, "Cum for me." He murmured.

You nodded in response, biting your lip, yet not losing eye contact. A sudden wave of pleasure struck, and before you knew it, you're shaking under him. "I.. I love you."

"I'm cumming, shi..." You locked your legs on his waist, as he stilled so deep, reaching levels of your insides no one has ever reachex before. He cums, deep inside you and you felt his warm, thick ropes of cum paint your insides. His body collapses on top of you, heavy breathing surrounded the apartment.

Honestly, Jaemin didn't care if you hurt him again, Heck, break him again and again. Run away if you can, but he would make sure that he'll be here, always waiting for you. Break his heart for all he cares. You'll only find yourself there.

"Let's go, baby. They can't wait to meet you." Jaemin smiled at you softly, opening the car door before letting you in.

"I really get the feeling that they hate me." You nervously said, as Jaemin went around the car and sat at the driver seat.

"They actually did, back then. But now they're a lot less dumber." You laughed at him.

This was the first time Jaemin will introduce you to his friends. Even tho you knew that they already know you from the past, you wanted to introduce your new self. The self thats much better.

As you arrived at their shared apartment, you can already hear the noise behind the door. You looked at Jaemin with anticipation, as he opened the door.

"There she is! Hi, y/n!" Haechan, which you have encountered before, greeted you with a big smile. He was approaching with wide arms, which Jaemin quickly swats away.

"No." Jaemin simply says as he put his arms around you and dragged you further in the house.

There, you saw Jeno and Renjun playing Jenga. As soon as you sat down, the tower had fallen. Renjun frowning, Jeno with a big smile.

"Oh hi, y/n. Renjun just lost in Jenga, again." The cocky grin was present in Jeno's face.

"That doesn't count! We should play again, this time with y/n!"

You were quiet, but not because you were uncomfortable, but because you were slowly digesting everything. You felt so belonged with these people that its felt a bit weird, in a good way.

You smiled at them, looking back at Jaemin who's walking towards you with a drink in hand. "Thirsty, baby?" His smile was enchanting, and so, so gorgeous.

The time goes on and it all felt natural. It was the first time you saw Jaemin laugh that much, and it made you happier than ever. Then and there, you have concluded that you will never hurt this man again. This time, you'll try to make this work, because you knew he was the only one for you.

And even if the gods and the heaven above curse you for loving selfishly, you wouldn't care. Jaemin is the perfect man for you. And you can't let that smile fade again.

"What're you thinking?" Jaemin whispered, above all the noise from his friends.

"I love you."

And if you thought Jaemin's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.

"I love you." He answered.

This time, you'll get your happy ending. You choose your happiness and Jaemin. Forever, you will choose Jaemin. Because you realize that after everything, even fiction itself, got nothing on this man.

A/N: I know it took so long to publish but again, I'm a bit busy! But how was it?? I hope you liked the first installation of my series, diary of the heart breakers! Thank you so much.

taglist: @cutiepeas @legbouk@hyuckissed @bockhyun @hibernatinghamster@shookyungsoo@sundamariis@sharkipoonis@ohmykwonsoonyoung@carelessshootanonymous

next part >> Inevitably Yours

[holymusicalmothman]

spencer make my brain go numb like i wanna lazily makeout with him :(

Smosh Masterlist

Aight my lil guys. I’ve been ✨inspired✨. It gonna be short tho

Mkay but I feel like it’s just tender af. Ya know? Like all the time in the world kinda lazy kissing but it’s still absolutely breathtaking. Like. Y’all are just doing nothing on a Sunday afternoon, just watching a movie or smth and like ten minutes later you’re just seated on his lap and oof.

Also. I can’t remember whether or not I know what Spence’s cats names are. I know Damien’s, but I don’t think I know Spencers 🤔 Let a girl know lol

Could be included in my Ian’s Sister AU. This lil fic took me on a journey.

Word count: 500-600???

TW: Kissing!!! Nothing expletive. Established relationship.

******

Lazy Sunday Confessions

What had started as a planned movie date with your boyfriend had slowly turned into a lazy make out session on his couch.

Not that you were complaining. The movie had been quiet and rather slow, so you had found an entertaining pastime in each other that fit the vibe given by the slow Sunday afternoon.

His lips moved slowly but purposefuly with yours, one hand against the back of your neck and the other rubbing circles into your hip through your shirt.

Spencer’s apartment was silent apart from the gentle lul of the tv and soft, breathy sighs. His cats were no where in sight, napping in another room for sure. It was just the two of you.

You could lose yourself in the moment forever, everything outside of your boyfriend was long forgotten. Nothing existed save for the feeling of his lips moving against your own as his stubble lightly tickled your face. Your hands moved from his shoulders upwards to tangle your finders into messy dark curls.

Spencer did something nice with his jaw as he continued to kiss you and you sighed happily, your heart fluttering in its contentment.

You finally pulled away for a moment, and he trailed slow, gentle kisses across your cheek and to your jaw, only stopping when your forehead came to rest against his neck.

How could kissing be so…tiring? You thought to yourself. There was so much more that went into it than you had once thought. But you didn’t want to stop.

“It’s getting late, pretty girl. Gonna be dark soon.” He mumbled into your hair, his hand moving from the back of your neck to brush through your hair.

“‘m t’red,” you mumbled back and you felt him shake in silent laughter.

“If you’d like, you could stay here tonight.” There was a waver in his voice and it betrayed his nervousness. “Just to sleep, baby. No funny business until you say you’re ready.”

You smiled. You really did have the best boyfriend. “It’ll stay.”

You felt him tense in excitement. “Really?”

“Mhm. I finally picked up all the clothes I keep leaving at ‘Manda’s on wine night. I’ve got some sweats I can wear,” you began sitting up. “Just gotta run out to my car.”

“You could leave some of those clothes here, too.” He said.

Your eyes met his dark blue ones.

“I may have already made some space for you in my drawer.” He confessed. “You don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable.”

You had your hands on either side of his face and you were pulling him back into your orbit before he had even finished taking.

He tasted of Kickstart and something so distinctly Spencer that you weren’t sure if it existed anywhere else. The smell of cologne and what was either body wash or shampoo wrapped back around you as the world once more shrunk down to just the two of you.

“I love you.” Slipped past your lips and across his skin and you froze, thinking the confession had been shoved deeper into your subconscious.

But the grin that broke across Spencer’s face could have powered the sun and erased any anxiety you had. It reached all the way to his eyes which had suddenly teared up.

“Really? I’ve been waiting so long to hear that, pretty girl. I love you, too.”

I ran out of steam towards the end there. But I’m not someone who writes anything super intimate, so this was a well accepted and well welcomed challenge.

[nofingjustaninchident]

hi, I’m not great at requesting things but if this makes sense could you write a high school au where Jason is a football player. I think it would be cute cause he’s definitely tall enough and strong enough but then add in him being kind and wow he would make the BEST high school football player boyfriend. Thank you

⛧° Jason Grace x Nerdy! Reader hcs °⛧

content: jason grace x reader, college au!

warnings: cursing, allusions to sexual stuff (not much tho), stupidtly fluffy and corny.

a/n: bby if i tell you i dreamt about this, would you believe me? like, i swear to all the gods, i dreamt with this and woke up thinking about writing it… well, here ya go. oh, and i also made her a brazilian, i hope you don’t mind? if you do, just ignore it, please 🫡

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

Of course, he’s a great football player.

Like, i know no shit about football, i’m a soccer girly, but he’s the best quarterback in the city. like, he’s really really good.

And obviously everyone believes he’s such an asshole and a womanizer.

But in reality he’s so so nice

Sure, he sleeps with some girls and all, but not as much as his teammates.

He’s also the only jock that sticks with a girlfriend. Not for long, but still more than the other guys ig

So when he was having trouble with maths, he needed a tutor, cause he had to have a back up plan of he didn’t went for the pros

Such a nice boy, fr.

And he went talk with the teacher to ask who could teach him.

And that’s when he found you.

You weren’t exactly a super nerd. You just liked to study.

But you had a lot of friends, since being the only exchange student did bring this sort of popularity around the university.

And when he first came to you, you were kinda bitchy.

You know, you had a bit of hatred towards football players. No idea why, it was just there.

Even with that, you were too kind-hearted to don’t tutor him.

And when you got to know each other… you kinda started liking him.

On your first study session, the library was too full, so you went to the outside

Which was really working out, till Jason found a little bird that probably fell from his nest

The guy was so worried that he almost took the bird home

He would’ve done it if you didn’t stop him

But he found the nest and put the little bird back there

And you just stood there, like “what the fuck? isn’t he supposed to be a douche?”

It happens that he’s not.

And you became pretty good friends with the frequent study sessions and all.

Not to mention he was pretty offended when you told him you didn’t like football.

And you were very offended when he asked if the spoke Spanish in Brazil.

He knew it didn’t, he just did it to piss you off.

He really wanted you to go to one of his games, but you never said you were really going.

So, one day, when his team was having a match against Harvard University, he was more than surprised to see you at the stands, right in the front.

With his jersey. With his number and name on your back.

He honestly felt he was gonna cry right then and there.

He got so happy he made a touchdown. They won.

And you were there, cheering for him and pretending like you understand anything that was going on there.

When the game ended, he came rushing towards you.

“Congrats, Gra-“ Before you could even finish your sentence, he kissed you.

Oh, and it was heaven.

After this, you started dating and it was the best thing you ever experienced.

He was such a gentleman.

Doors? Don’t even touch that. Dates? He’s paying, duh. You’re tired? He’ll carry you, bridal style.

You get the point.

You started liking football because of him. And he started liking soccer because of you.

a/n: i don’t know what to feel about this lol. idk what you’ll think of the brazilian thing, but if you don’t like it, i’ll remake it, promise!

[pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid]

what are some of your Octavian head cannons?

Hi glassssssss :D🌸

I have quite a few lol. I will resist only writing the crack ones. That deserves a post of it’s own lmao

He’s Korean Italian.

He can speak over five languages. Italian, Korean, English, Spanish, Portuguese, Latin, bits of Japanese.

His birthday is on the 8th of August. Hence his name.

Octavian is not his actual birth name. It is a second name given to him by the head of the family as per their tradition.

Only child (this I consider self projection, cuz I’m an only child and I dunno how to write siblings so fuck it) has a lot of cousins tho.

His mother is mortal, and is quite a famous model. But they are rather estranged.

He’s a daddy’s boy. Extremely close to his dad. His dad calls him August (only he can call tav that)

He’s Bi/Ace. But thinks exploring that aspect of himself is a waste of time.

Octavian has loose curly hair but he straightened it. He also bleaches his hair from time to time. His hair is very damaged.

When tav first came to camp he didn’t know English well so Micheal (who ho knew a bit of Spanish) helped him. They primarily speak Spanish with each other.

Octavian and Micheal actually arrived only three days apart. So they were assigned together. Which sort of was the start of their friendship.

Octavian was only 14 when he was assigned as camp Augur. And right after that he was assigned as Jason’s caretaker.

When Reyna first arrived he took her under his wing, primarily because of her abilities.

The three became quite close. Octavian genuinely loved his two siblings. Sadly that’s only because he thought lowly of them. So when they both were appointed Praetors, something in Octavian snapped and they were never the same again

He’s a bird dad. He has three birds at home. Sadly he couldn’t bring any of them with him to Camp.

He is also a legacy of Victoria.

Performing Auguries has left him with dry and strained eyes as he’s staring into the fluff for several minutes at a time.

The after effects of every augury reading and prophetic vision often takes a huge toll on him. Causing nosebleeds, nausea, migraines, fainting episodes.

He very occasionally sleep walks. It’s a camp inside joke that carrying him back to his room brings good luck and has become a sort of tradition. Octavian has no clue of it.

Everyone thinks he can glow. He can’t he’s just very pale.

The only time he actually does glow is when he’s getting prophetic visions.

Primarily his eyes glow. And also the prophecy itself that etches on his skin which leaves marks after the visions end. It’s a bit painful and itches a lot but they tend to fade after a few minutes.

The first time he went to karaoke with his friends he sang for ten hours straight. And he was perfectly fine, no vocal cords damage no nothing.

Octavian’s biggest insecurity is not having enough traits related to Apollo. But he constantly ignores and undermines the ones he has. He also has the most negative Apollo traits out of anyone.

He curses like a sailor, but the catch is that he curses in every language except English.

Octavian was forced to play the piano as a kid. He actually wanted to learn the drums but never could.

Octavian has a tattoo of the Camp logo. Left of his stomach. He got it at 16 thinking it would be so cool. He regretted it soon after.

He has a very high spice tolerance. Shocking but it’s very funny.

Was an ice hockey player but he quit so he could focus on his plan to become Praetor.

(This is a sort of inside joke HC) He plays COD, a lot. Die hard fan. Has posters and stuff. Micheal was the one who introduced him to the game. Totally has a secret art account where he posts his soapghost fanart PFFT AH-/jjjj lmao

Probably has like two boxes worth of yaoi manga hidden under the floorboards of his bed/jjjjj PFFFFT

I think I should stop here cuz like I have so much lore for this guy and the hcs are so specific😭😭 we’ll be here for days bro lmao 😭😭

[depressopax]

Hi!!! if it's okay (and if your request is still open) I was wondering if I could request a fluff scenario for Jimmy McGill? :D where he gets all soft and loving sjdjdj can be both sfw and nsfw ... thank you !! ♡

Thank you for the request!!! <3 Been meaning to write about Jimmy for quite a while, so this was the perfect sign to do it lmaooo I was gonna do a NSFW too but realized that the SFW version was at 1K word already 💀 Will do a part 2 tho!  Oh well, enjoy these cheesy Jimmy headcanons 🥹🫶

Jimmy McGill relationships headcanons

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Jimmy x gn!reader || SFW HC's

Pairing: Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman x gender-neutral reader Genre: Fluff, headcanons Warning(s): None that I can think off?? Cuss words maybe, slightly angsty Jimmy lol. Reader is gender-neutral and referred to as "partner" and gn!pet-names. Words: 1.1K Summary: Being in a relationship with Jimmy McGill would include... English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || AO3 link || Masterlist || Request || NSFW version ||

Jimmy is not good at figuring out his feelings.

That’s why it took him a while to realize he’d fallen in love with you. 

It’d take some time for him to accept what he’s feeling though.

Homeboy would be in denial at first. He’s scared to fall in love with someone, in fear of commitment and getting hurt etc…

But he’d show interest in other ways, without realizing it himself.

We’re talking about cheesy stuff: - Always looking good (and that’s not so difficult, HE GORGEOUSSSSS 👀) - Trying to impress you with his knowledge about things - Making sure to say something funny and make others laugh when you’re around, to let you know how funny and amazing he is lol - Compliments and teasing 

Noticing his attempt, you straight up ask him about it. “...Do you like me, Jimmy?” “What?? I-” … “Yes. I do.”

Once it’s said and done, he eventually asks you out on a date.

Listen… Jimmy may be overconfident, especially when it comes to his seduction skills

However, there’s something about you that makes him nervous.

What you think about him and how he comes across matters to him.

That’s why he plans a date weeks ahead, trying to make everything perfect

He tries figuring out what you like and dislike so he can use that to make a good impression. 

He takes you out to some fancy restaurant (RIP early season Jimmy’s wallet 😭)

The date goes well and he is very smug with his effort.

After a few dates, Jimmy realizes he’s fallen for you.

At first he tries to hide it. He doesn’t want to come across as “desperate” or “needy”. 

But then again… He’s not good at hiding his true feelings.

Luckily, you feel the same and eventually you become a couple for real. 

He was the first one to say “I love you”, and did so without realizing it.

You were leaving for work or something and he just goes: “Bye, love ya!” Completely flustered when he heard what he just said.

When you say it back, he feels a wave of relief. 

After that, he makes sure to say ILY as often as he can.

He won’t shut up about you. Like ever. 

“So then my partner said…” “My partner brought me this shirt!” “I’m taking my babe out on a date tonight” And everyone else will eventually be like: 😐”Shut up”😐

He’ll refer to you as his spouse/wife/husband, watching everyone confused “You’re married?” “I will be soon” 🤭

Jimmy’s a sucker for cute pet names. And yeah, some of them are probably “cringe” but that won’t stop him 

Baby, Boo, Sugar, Sweetie, Hot stuff, Doll, Kitten (😭)

He loves it when you wear his shirts. Especially as lounge clothing or when sleeping.

Jimmy also finds matching outfits adorable. 

Would probably take you shopping for either suits/blazers or just hoodies that you can match. 

He also buys matching jewelry, towels, morning robes etc etc… He’s one of those guys 😭

He has a picture of you standing on the desk in his office, as a way to carry the sweetheart with him all the time. 

…And also to brag about you to anyone that enters his office (but he puts the picture away when dealing with some of his unpredictable clients, homeboy is overprotective)

Speaking of being overprotective: He deals with a lot of shady people, so he’s very careful with who he chooses to trust when it comes to talking his love to you.

He prioritizes your safety over anything else. 

Ofc he’s scared for his own safety too, but pretty much puts it aside to make sure you’re safe first off. 

If danger comes up, he’d make sure to find somewhere safe for you to stay whilst he deals with it.

He would go so far as hiring a bodyguard for you tbh.

Being with him might be a struggle too

Homeboy is a bit unpredictable and impulsive

Doing stupid things is his speciality- 😭

No but literally, you’ll sometimes have to stop him from acting out on his weird revenge ideas or stuff that could get him into trouble.

“I was just gonna-” “No.” “But…” “Jimmy, no.” 

Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you don’t. But you love him either ways. <3

He also likes talking shit about people with you *cough* probably Howard *cough* - sure, a bit rude - but he finds it hilarious lol 

Lot of in-jokes between you and him

Jimmy is a daydreamer and is easily distracted

Especially by you.

He sometimes gets stuck thinking about you when doing boring work.

Until Francesca tells him to pull himself together lmao

Jimmy spends all possible time together with you. 

He is ambitious and serious about work, but after you and him became a couple his priorities changed. 

He finds time to spend with you. Last thing he wants is for you to feel like he cares more about work than he does for you.

If you’re adventurous and like being outdoors, he does too.

But honestly? He prefers cuddling at home and watching movies with you.

He is not a good chef, so he buys a lot of food from restaurants and brings it home if you’ve had a long day at work.

He makes sure to be a romantic bastard too. 

Candlelit dinners, taking baths together, picnics… You name it. He loves spoiling you. 

He wouldn’t admit it to anyone else but hear me out… Home-spa dates 👀

He did use to have his office at a nail salon, so he knows his way around those things

If you allow him to, he likes painting your nails - with him choosing the color

Like I said, Jimmy enjoys cuddling you.

He has a lot of feelings, traumas etc pent up, which he dares to let out around you.

He has learnt that he can be vulnerable with you and not get judged, which he appreciates.

That’s why he loves coming home to you after a long day and simply resting in your arms.

He prefers being the little spoon - to feel protected and loved by you. <3

To summarize: It might take him a while to put the pieces together and actually confess his feelings for you - but once he does he spends every day letting you know how much you mean to him.

I just remembered why I love Jimmy sm AHHH he deserves love and happiness <3<3 Part 2 soon!

[shwoyo]

hello, i saw your reqs open and i wanted to ask if you could do a seokmin x reader where reader is a shy person who always listens and when they meet seokmin and he listens to their rambling and yeah, thnks in advance! :)

hi anon! thank you for requesting <3 i'm sorry this is kinda rushed + i kinda wasn't able to show readers shy demeanor lol, but i hope you like it!

comfortable with you. — lee seokmin x reader

; fluff, little angst, comfort – warnings: like 1 cuss word – wc: 1,481

note: first req ever, kinda nervous 😅i kindaa rushed it in the end,,, im sorry. BUT ANYWAYS!! i enjoyed writing this! i had so many thoughts on how i wanted to go with this, but stuck with this (kind of) short one. I hope you guys will enjoy this teww! not my best work tho

you love listening to people talking. you've always let people do the talking while you do the listening; its been in your nature since ever. they would talk, and you would hum in agreement or dispute, sometimes speaking your own thoughts. but sometimes, you wish you could just spill your unsaid thoughts to someone. but you can't, for some reason.

–

your junior year has started, new school supplies, new acquaintances, and, of course, a new seatmate. every first day of school always makes you nervous; everything is new, and by that you'd always have to introduce yourself; you hated it.

standing outside your new classroom with your other classmates, the teacher announced that she had already assigned the seating plan. you were kind of grateful, as you quite literally don't know anybody here; you got separated from your friend.

Ms. Shin, your teacher was calling your classmates one by one, then called your name, "next, l/n y/n!" you went up to her. "you'll be sitting next to lee seokmin, he's over there by the window, third row" she stated. you went in the classroom and walked to your seat, which is beside seokmin, your new seatmate. he sat at the aisle part, which left you sitting next to the window, and you were grateful for it.

you sat down and settled your bag behind your chair. honestly, you were pretty nervous because, for the first time, your seatmate was a guy. you were always seated next to girls for some reason.

"hi! i'm lee seokmin. but you can call me seokmin, or any nickname you can think of," he spoke. you quickly turned your head in his direction and just nodded, turning your head to look at the board in front. 'he's so... pretty,' you thought to yourself. it took a second until he spoke again, "what about you? what's your name?" he asked, and you turned to look at him again, quickly realizing that you haven't introduced yourself. "oh, i'm sorry! i'm l/n y/n sorry, did i come off as rude?" you replied, your voice lowering as you spoke. "ah, no, no! it's okay!" he giggled as he responded, waving his hands as a sign that it really is okay. "i'm sorry again," you said, voice low almost like a whisper. "no, i assure you it's fine! everyone gets nervous at the first day of school, even me," he stated. you just nodded, turning your head to look at your table.

your face was red in embarrassment, so much for a first impression with someone who will be next to you your whole junior year. you wished the floor could just eat you whole.

–

months into 11th grade, everyday was a struggle. there were new activities every week, mostly by partners, and you were grateful that in each partner activity, seokmin was your partner. seokmin is the most perfect partner you could ask for; he was always ready and always listened to the instructions of the activity given. you were so grateful for him; you probably wouldn't have survived first term without him.

right now, on a thursday afternoon, you and seokmin were at the library doing the essay activity given by your english teacher, a 15k word essay covering the important events and creations that happened during the renaissance, the deadline being monday. you were trying so hard not to cry as you were stuck on your third paragraph, the whole essay only having 487 words. usually you were quick with this; you love english, you always scored high on the subject. but right now, you were just not motivated enough to write properly.

"Hey, you okay there?" seokmin spoke up, noticing your distraught expression. you only hummed to his question. he was already making it easy for you; he has suggested that we should write 7,500 words each on our part to sum up the 15,000 so it would be easy. you felt bad as you were writing your part so... poorly. "we can take a break if you're stuck," seokmin suggested, "uhm, maybe i'll try to continue mine and you take a break. i wanna at least try and finish this third paragraph," you stated. "hmm, i think no!" he said cheerfully. seokmin closed his laptop, then yours. you looked at him in shock, but he just grabbed your arm, forcing you to stand up, then pulling you towards the door of the library. "s-seokmin! hey! what about our things?" you whisper-shout, "don't worry, we'll be quick!" he replied.

you kinda got used to this; whenever seokmin sensed that you were struggling or stressed, he would always do something to distract you until you were feeling okay. this time, he was pulling you in the hallways of the school, towards the exit, and then walked towards the ice cream stand near the school gate. "hello! can i get one vanilla ice cream and one chocolate ice cream? both no toppings!" seokmin said, the vendor nodded and made his order, "seokmin, i didn't bring my wallet with me." you stated, "its okay! its on me," he replied "no, i'll just pay you when we go back to the library," you said, "nu-uh, this is on me. i won't accept your payment," seokmin responded.

he's always like this. he does something nice for you, but whenever you offer to do something in return, he denies it. this is what you like about him, like as in platonically... yeah, platonically.

–

few more months in junior year, and your feelings towards seokmin kept growing, not platonically. you tried to deny your feelings, but every time you do, he does something that just makes your heart flutter.

and surprisingly enough, you've gotten so comfortable with him that each time you talked, you openly said your thoughts, even you shocked yourself. but, you still weren't comfortable enough to spill your deepest thoughts and rambles, rants you wish you'd said to the person who stressed your thoughts.

still, you were more than happy to be able to finally openly speak your thoughts, even if it weren't your deepest thoughts that hurt you. you were okay with this, you think.

–

but one day during the last 2 weeks of junior year, you were fed up. the world just kept testing and testing you, and you were so tired and just needed to rant, specifically to seokmin.

"and it's just... so fucking tiring! i don't get why they won't do their part. it's almost the end of the school year, and they're acting like this?! i'm just so..." you couldn't finish your sentence as you started to sob. seokmin looked at you with sad eyes, it hurts him to see you like this. 'why couldn't your group mates just do their job properly?' he thought. you sobbed harder as you thought about your uncooperative group mates, then seokmin hugged you.

it was the first time he physically touched you like this; usually he would tap your shoulder, pat your head, or pull your arm when he wants to show something, but hugging you? this was definitely new. but you were too tired to be shocked.

"mhm, i understand y/n." seokmin stated, you sobbed harder than before. for years in your life, you just wanted to hear those words—that someone understood you. you were always the one to listen; you never had the chance to be the one to rant as you grew used to listening. seokmin patted your back, still hugging you. it was so comforting; you wished you could stay there forever.

–

from that day on, you knew that you were super comfortable with seokmin. he's the person you trust your thoughts with the most. not a day goes by where you had to keep your thoughts to yourself anymore; you had seokmin, and he had you, of course. he was there for you, and you were there for him.

the feeling of finally being able to speak up about your deepest, unsaid thoughts and rants was so refreshing. of course, the more comfortable you got with him, the more your feelings grew too.

–

it was on recognition day when you had the courage to finally spill your heart out to seokmin. you were very nervous, but the funny thing was he beat you to it. he confessed first, leaving you shocked. of course you informed him that the feeling is mutual.

you were happy; he was too. your heart was so happy you felt like it would explode. you never have thought that you would find love this early in your life, especially with your old behavior of being shy. but seokmin was there, he was there for you in so many ways. he saved your heart and mind by letting you pour your unsaid rambles to him, and you were so grateful for him, for seokmin, who was now your lover 'till end.

©shwoyo, all rights reserved.

[amethystfairy1]

Hi Amethyst! It's been a hot minute since I sent an ask in, but I have been reading both fics every day (still obsessed lmao) (also I name changed btw, used to be ElenaLoo)

Anyways, I had written a whole ask waxing eloquent on all the wonderful things going on in ttsbc, but I accidentally shut off my computer partway through and frankly I can't be bothered to write it all out again lmao. Just. It's beautiful (wow isnt that so meaningful and deep? im sure you're feeling very complimented rn)

The REAL thing I wanted to talk about was Traveling thieves (which is by far my favorite fanfic of ALL TIME), and all the amazingness in ttsbc made me forget it even existed for the past few weeks. But the other day I was just like "oh yeah. Traveling thieves." and then i reread the whole thing. whoopsies.

Ummm anywyas there's so many thoughts in my head about all the little guys, but recently I've been on an Imp and Skizz obsession (just scroll on my page for .2 seconds and you'll see) and YOU. You left them on a CLIFFHANGER. >:((( (not actually mad btw). I just. so excited for them. They're out alone in the woods right now and Skizz is going to have the perfect opportunity to kill Impulse and get away and I just am falling apart thinking about them. (I drew them to cope lol, posted on my blog but also later here so that I can talk about it more). I can see this playing out a few ways. Obviously Skizz isn't actually going to kill Impulse, so he's either going to 1) make up some excuse as to why he can't do it right then, but still plans to do it eventually, or 2) he does it. but he doesn't. Skizz attacks Impulse when he's not expecting it, there's a scuffle, and Skizz comes out on top---BUT THEN HE CAN"T FINISH IT!!! and it's a whole thing where even tho skizz tried to kill him, imp is still so understanding and skizz cries and impulse just freaking gives him a hug and

sigh

Whatever you do will be beautiful, I'm sure. I think you mentioned you're switching to tt after this fic, so crossing my fingers it's imp and skizz. (Though, would also be very happy with Martyn and Ren :P) (or anything really i just love tt)

Anyways, I had the art on my blog but I'm also putting it here so i can say things about it to you

Mostly I'm just very proud of their expressions, with Impulse being all concerned glancing over at Skizz, meanwhile Skizz is completely deadpan staring forwards, also looking very tired bc he needs a break from this universe. Also I switched up my Impulse design a lil bit from last time (if u even remember that lol it was months ago now). you would think, just looking at them, that Impulse took way longer to design, but nope, I was messing around with Skizz for at least double the time, trying to figure out how to have him facing forward whilst still showing some of the scars on his back. I gave up eventually xD (all that means is that im gonna have to draw him again later, from different angles)

actually that made me remember a question I had: are you planning to ship Imp and Skizz? Ik you said Zed and Tango are going to be a thing far in the future, but... skizzpulse? plzzzz plz pretty please haha im not obsessed

aaaaaand that reminds me of another question, is skizz going to be in ttsbc? (pretty please also same question as tt, if he was in ttsbc, are him and impulse together? Im addicted to them all i care about these days is some good imp and skizz shipfics, and you're such a fantastic writer, both with plot and the vibes of the words themselves. u could write such good imp and skizz. just imagine the possibilites! (am i selling it?))

aaaaaanyways. im gonna go reread the old tt skizz fics because theyre delicious and painful, like eating knives. u have a good day :))

HIIIIIII

I ADORE THIS ART SO MUCH! I gave you all my rambles on the reblog but it's SOOOOO COOL!

I'm sad the waxing eloquent about TTSBC is gone 😭 but that's ok!

I'm so glad you're enjoying TT and all the drama going on in there! Imp and Skizz are definitely having a time and a half with all of this nonsense going on...I love all your theories! I won't confirm or deny anything of course, but I'm so happy you're excited for them!

I will not be shipping Imp and Skizz, sorry! I just personally don't ship them, so they're gonna remain platonic...I mean, in TT who knows what the hell they're doing to be fair 😆 but yeah, Zedango is going to be a thing in the distant future, but no Skizzpulse! Sorry!

Skizz is not in TTSBC at the moment, that doesn't mean he never will be! Just haven't found a spot for him yet...and no, he also would not be with Impulse, I'm so sorry I just don't ship them personally! I think it's a very cute ship tho!

Enjoy rereading the TT Skizz fics!!! Thank you again for the gorgeous art!!!! I love it!!! 💖

[winderlylandchime]

Make sure you read the other message before this one. It was a bitch to shorten this for the ask limit but oh well :)

Here is the shortened version of his dating life during summer. It all started when a friends gf looked at my brother and went “I have some friends to set you up with that I think you’d like” He went on a date to a bar to meet up with her “lovely and very cute friend Alexis”. He gets there and then (his exact words) “I hear my name, look up and there’s a dude. Big dude. Muscles and hair and everything. And he starts going on about how he heard so much about me. Took me 5 minutes to realize that he’s Alexis. Dude caught on that I thought he was a woman but it’s cool. We had drinks, It was a fun night so at least I made a friend” I thought that was funny/cute bc he really does love making friends. So he forgot to mention the dude part of the issue to the girl when he told her it didn’t work, so she obviously set him up with another guy. He was somehow still shocked even tho he forgot to tell her, the guy realized it like 20 minutes in, didn’t want to make it uncomfortable so he goes to leave and my brother being an “ALLY” (yes, he did that to his face) suggested they hang as friends. Third time HE STILL FORGETS TO MENTION IT, so she sets him up with her really good friend Nick. So he knows it’s a man but he didn’t want to be rude since shes going all out for him, so he went on the date and plans to tell the guy about the mix up but when he got there (this is a real fucking voice note he sent me at 1 am that day) “I forgot! I had a speech cause I didn’t wanna be a dick but I saw him and I just forgot what the fuck I was gonna say. Bro it took me 3 tries to tell him my name, idk what the fuck happened, I think its some type of a stroke that only lasts like a minute” So they went to a bar and somehow during drinks (his plan was a drink & come clean but he got “distracted”) he agreed to go bowling. Yes, he agreed to a 2nd date bc he was distracted. A week later HE asked Nick if he wanted to go hiking. This whole time they are texting nonstop btw. They went hiking in the morning, spent half a day together, the guy made them lunch. Do you see where this is going because my brother somehow did not. A week later my friend whos a bartender saw them at her job and she said that my brother was being shown how to play pool by some guy. As in the guy was wrapped around his body showing him how to do it. I really hope you know what I mean by this! And my brother was apparently all blushy and kept missing shots. Oh btw, my brother? REALLY fucking good at pool. He’s on a team at his local bar with his friends. So he played dumb, for sure! 2 days later at family bbq, he walks in goes to my uncles and says “yo dudes, respectfully asking but how the fuck did you know you wanted to fuck each other? Because I’m about to either do the worlds dumbest thing in my whole life OR the coolest thing ever and I would like to know if I’m just gonna have fun in the middle part of it or the after too?” he explained the whole thing and everyone went “dude, hate to tell you but you’ve been dating him for like 2 weeks” He tried to argue it with “no, I just..He just..I get distracted when he talks bc he keeps smiling and laughing at my jokes and i think my stutter comes back cause i cant form a sentence (he has never stuttered in his life) so I keep forgetting to tell him” two days later, he walks into the house and goes “yo dad, I fixed your car oh and btw gang? Ya boy? Not straight, i was wrong but don’t ask me anything more cause honestly? I don’t fucking know, I’m winging this bitch” Anyway, this was late June, they’ve been dating ever since. Sweet Nick genuinely thought my brother was shy (lol) and that’s why he didn’t kiss Nick while on the hike, so he was waiting for my brother to relax (lol). Meanwhile my brother was having a crisis without the crisis bc he genuinely up until the pool date thought, they were just hanging out and that he was just feeling (his words) ‘the feelings of a cool bromance’ whenever he went all blushy, giggly and dumb over him.

IF YOU HAVE NOT YET READ THE PREVIOUS UPDATES GO DO SO NOW. As brother anon would say "don't be a little bitch." You have not earned this update if you haven't read the others.

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING DEAR SWEET ANON!!! This is straight (heh heh) out of a fanfiction. What life is your brother leading?

Like bro, bro, bro. You are an ALLY (makes fist) and hang out with drag queens and love queer culture (like a 20 year old TV show)... I think the dots were all there to be connected and Nick came along and genuinely thought he was dating your brother and your brother just caught on. Also. bro, when you didn't immediately correct this woman who is setting you up with men.... mayhaps that could have been a clue. Correct me if I'm wrong non bisexual/pan/fluid folks, but if you're set up on a date with someone whose gender does not align with your attraction, you're correcting the matchmaker first chance you get. right? Like I enjoy the company of a man (not in a Blanche type of way), but if someone set me up on a date with one, I would be like "very respectfully, you are barking up the wrong tree."

I am imagining your brother all blushy and giggly and flirty and not realizing that he has indeed caught feelings for this dude. THAT HE KEEPS GOING ON DATES WITH. You and your long-suffering uncles. Thoughts and prayers.

...at least your brother already knows what rimming is.

[ancientgreecehistorynerd]

so sorry that this took so long for me to get to! a lot happened in the past few days lol.

So i’m going to start with but daddy I love him. This is a Will song but more of Solangelo through his lens! the overall idea i think of is how will is like the perfect kind healer. most of camp who doesn’t exactly know him just views him as a kinda normal guy when he’s really a lot more complex then that. (and the fact that he’s a nerd lol) “Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid. Tendrils tucked into a woven braid””There's a lot of people in town that I

Bestow upon my fakest smiles”I think that these lines show off the expectations that will faces at camp as the so called sunshiny doctor. Now onto the main idea of the song as people viewing different people as a stain that will dirty the people they’ve viewed as perfect. and i think that this is what would have happened with nico and will after they revealed they were together (i don’t accept the tsats confession scene and i belive they were secretly together for around a month until then) everyone still thought of nico as that weird dangerous hades kid (and just when they were friends in general.) some people depict it as nico arriving and staying and everyone just automatically loves him when it would take a few months for people to see how good of a person he is, especially with how quiet he is and how “odd” he is (this is because of his autism but that’s for another day.) I feel like some people may have tried to stop will from seeing nico, such as distracting him with tasks or other things because they disapproved of nico “they slammed the door on my whole world” for example. “screaming but daddy i love him!” is a funny example of things will would actually say when defending nico (as he should) people wouldn’t listen to him for a while. also the “i’m having his baby” line is while will can’t have kids (in my hcs he’s cis)(nico isn’t tho 😈) but the principle of it is others thinking a relationship is moving too fast. and with how hopelessly in love nico and will are they would probably think that they’re moving way too quickly when really they just love each other (they said i love you the minute they confessed okay…) “i know he’s crazy but he’s the one i want” will can accept that his boyfriend is a little gremlin sometimes and is proud of it‼️ and “he was chaos he was revelry” personally i don’t think nico is all that chaotic most of the time but i guess the whole secret relationship and how he’s just different from others could be portrayed through that. and how will had only really reacted with the “basic” campers at chb who had personalities sure but they weren’t as much of a mystery as nico was. “Soon enough the elders had convened Down at the city hall "Stay away from her" The saboteurs protested too much

Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love” people were telling them left and right to break up probably 😭 (not nico just will cause they’re scared of nico) but will didn’t listen to them like so many other people who know nico have. letting others opinions shape their opinion of him take percy for example hates his guts but then actually gets to know him and he’s very nice. “I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning” will being pissed over insulting his boyfriend is so real! also instead of listening and breaking up with nico he would rather throw his reputation away and how people think of him to be with nico. “I'll tell you something about my good name It's mine alone to disgrace I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing” people kinda treated will in that era of his life as he couldn’t make his own choices. like he was just being with nico to try and fix him or he was being forced or something lol. when he’s a very smart person who can make choices for himself. “Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny” i just think this line for them is cute hehe “You ain't gotta pray for me” you know. gods. praying. yes. “Me and my wild boy

And all this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it's just white noise And it's just my choice” AGAIN WITH PEOPLE NOT REALIZING WILL IS A TEENAGER AND ABLE TO MAKE HIS OWN CHOICES AND HE IS NOT JUST THE CAMPS SUNSHINE ANYMORE AND HAS FREE WILL (haha) “I'm his lady, and oh my God you should see your faces.) very cute way to show how will shoved it in people’s faces when they realized that nico is such a polite and wonderful boyfriend. (especially when they see how nico courted will when they first got together lol) I think this is all i have at the moment so sorry it’s so unorganized i am not good at putting my thoughts into writing! but think of will the next time you listen! :)

[miitarashi]

You mentioned you have a Tintin oc, do you have any art of them? If not, can you describe them, like how they look or their name and personality and things? I'm so interested in people's oc's ❤️

Unfortunately i stopped drawing a long time ago so i don't have and can't make arts about neither Tintin or my oc,but at least i keep her alive through my writing on my other fic in my native language.

And yes! I can describe her for you 😘

Appearance: her name is Aisha,an young adult woman between 18 and 20 years old, 1.65 tall (5'5, almost the same height as Tintin). Long black, curly hair, usually braided or loose. She has vitiligo (I simply think people like that are the most beautiful thing 🥹) and eyes with heterochromia due to vitiligo (one is brown and the other is light green). Her clothes are very simple, long cargo pants with several pockets and she either wears a top or a tank top. Not so thin, a robust body, but still feminine.

Personality: well, here we start with the fact that she is a thief,bisexual, have ADHD and is ✨️brazilian✨️ lol. She is self-centered and thinks she is the best, always wanting to attract attention as she has a reputation for never having been caught regardless of the robbery. Debauched and manipulative, but only when necessary.

She's not a bad person, since even though she's self-centered, she has a big heart and is very charismatic, the type who makes friends after 5 minutes of conversation (in the meantime, she would probably already know about your family and be planning a visit lol). She has the energy of a Golden Retriver, but provokes like a black cat.

Background : how she and Tintin met is fun because they are the "enemies to lovers" troup. She ended up in Brussels because her parents abandoned her there and ran away because they were fugitives, a old woman called Anastacia took her to raise with two other acquaintances of hers, Alexander and Darium (they are old friends),basically becoming her adoptive relatives and calling her Aisha.

Tintin and her met when they were between 9 and 12 years old and by his looks she thought it was fun to tease the poor guy and get in the way of whatever he was doing regardless of what. Talking wasn't an option since she didn't take it seriously just to keep disturbing him, but when he started to return it in the same way it became a competition to see who hated each other more lol.

With Tintin soon becoming the hero and traveling the world, Aisha stayed, became a thief and started traveling the world always aiming to make the most eye-catching robbery possible (As she never hurt anyone and would return it if the person seemed to need the money more, her relatives let her go without any problems lol).

Every now and then he joined Tintin's enemies just to continue disturbing and making the situation worse, but there was one that was the trigger for enemies to lovers that i'll keep it short because this post is getting long lol. In short, she had joined a gang that manipulated her and to get revenge she planned everyone's arrest but Tintin was also involved and this gang hated him.

Classic one helping the other, Tintin got into an ambush in which she blamed herself because indirectly she was the one who gave the location without knowing it, they fought and you know that moment when one of the two ends up kissing the other and then they ask for one more? yeah 😏... After arresting the gang, they didn't exactly become a couple, but something close (it's deeper than that but I don't want to take too long 🥺)

Overal is it,there's some other little things but i guess it's enough for now. Thank you for the ask tho! I never thought someone would want to know about my Oc lol.

[queenofalpaca]

Oh both Go to Sleep, Scrapper and Bode's Force Background have me super curious for the WIP ask!

Coming right up! thanks for the ask, Anon 🩵

Go to Sleep, Scrapper

This one is obviously inspired by Cal’s chronic inability to take care of himself. It’s planned as a 4+1 though I guess I could make it a 5+1 by just adding Cordova or something, we’ll see. It starts with instances of Greez, Cere, Merrin, and BD trying to convince Cal to go to sleep, and failing. Cal just has too many issues. Stubbornness, nightmares, insomnia, you name it, the guy’s probably struggling with it. The common theme here is that they all use some variation of “Go to sleep, [nickname]” btw, hence the title.

Cue the +1 in which Bode shows up, pulls “Go to sleep, Scrapper” and Cal promptly drops dead. Here’s a little snippet I do not remember writing 😅

It was probably stupid, but Bode needed Cal alive and well if he wanted to have any chance of getting to Tanalorr. He stepped into Cal’s path.

“Go to sleep, Scrapper.” It wasn’t hard to extend his presence just enough to shield the soft brush against Cal’s wobbling shields. He wouldn’t remember this tomorrow. Probably wouldn’t remember it even without the soft suggestion to forget along with sleep.

Cal, predictably, dropped like a rock, right into Bode’s waiting arms. He had to take a step back to brace himself; Cal was heavier than he’d expected. Cal wasn’t bothered though, already snoring away into his chest. Bode huffed and pulled him into a more secure grip.

It took him a few moments to realise that the others had fallen silent, their quiet conversations stopped. He looked up to see all of them staring at him and Cal in various states of utter disbelief.

And that’s it. Just some cute little fluff about Bode finally getting Cal to take a dang nap. And possibly cheating a little bit to do so, lol

Bode’s Force Background

So you know the stony/rocky background going on in the meditation circle menu? This started as an effort to figure out what that might look like for Bode. That somehow split into both Haunting and the fic that’s still in this file, but I’ll tell you about this one (it’s the better one anyway, lol)

The idea is a 5+1. Yes again. I have a thing for 5+1s. They’re just easy to write, what can I say. This one’s angsty as hell tho (good job balancing things out, anon). The thing is, if I post it, this one will probably be called Haunting actually 😂

Now here’s the problem: this one features a big old plot twist. Trying to sell you this fic without spoiling it will make this description rather short. Bode is being haunted by Cal. He keeps catching glimpses of him, but he remains always just out of reach. That’s about as much as I can say.

What I will ramble a bit more about is what I came up with for Bode’s Force/Meditation background, and maybe you’ll even get an idea on what the big twist is. So. Bode’s a spy and he’s very good at hiding the fact that he’s Force-sensitive at all. Here’s my pitch: Bode’s meditation background changes to align to his current surroundings. Whatever place he’s in/planet he’s on, his background will change accordingly to a slightly surreal, dream-like version of the same place. The only common element is water (because the SpyScrapper discord is obssessed with the water/fire thing and I am not immune). In any case, the water. It seems natural at first glance. Rain on Coruscant, the river/waterfall on Koboh, a dripping sink on Nova Garon, stuff like that. But if you look a little closer, it might seem strange that it’s raining on the lower levels of Coruscant. Bode’s ‘true’ meditation background, when he’s not lying to himself and others and trying to make himself fit into his surroundings is a big old lake/ocean. Something something hidden depths, you get it.

And that’s as much as I’ll say (there’s more ideas on themes/metaphors but again, plot twist). One last thing though, because there isn’t yet enough angst: this fic will also feature the post-game Force Echoes. Make of that what you will, heh 🩵

Now for the next ask, I’m gonna need you guys to choose something I can drop actual snippets for 😂 unless you want to have the fics that are still mostly just concepts 😅

[fallenasleepyetagain]

Boat Conversations - Dreamswap Fic

Part One

(although you don't need to read it before you read this one)

Media: UTMV/UTAU - Dreamswap

Genres: Pirate AU, human AU, the trio of Buffoons talking about their experiences at sea, gen-fic, dialogue & exposition heavy? (it's fun tho I promise), can be interpreted as romance, Kevin is featured pretty prominently (he's my silly guy), can be seen as romance, heavy emphasis on Nightmare and Error's relationship

Characters: Nightmare, Cross (she/her), Error (she/her), Kevin the Chicken, Dream (mentioned), Ink (she/her, mentioned), Blue (mentioned), unnamed members of Cross' family (mentioned)

Pairing(s): Cross/Nightmare/Error (Their relationship can be taken either romantically or platonically)

CW/TW: Mention of family death, mention of a suicide mission, mentions of abuse (nothing in detail), mentions of ship crashes, if you know the characters' backstories then any TW for them apply here.

Other Notes: @raccoon-in-a-dumpster I wrote more :3 This time featuring the Meme Squad! (sorry it took a bit LOL)

Word Count: 5373 Words

The small boat swayed side to side along the water. The sail was down, but not aimed anywhere. The moon was at its fullest and the sky was clear. All of the stars in the sky sparkled and reflected in the water. The boat itself was small, and only housed three people and a chicken. Yes, a chicken. A seaside chicken that wasn’t meant for eating was certainly unusual, but Nightmare would never do anything without his best buddy. Speaking of, Nightmare was one of the three members aboard the small ship. The ship was made of a gorgeous red wood, with one large sail, one small sail, and not many other decorations on it. It was a pretty ship, but not exactly extravagant. Not like Dream von Licht’s Radiance. Nightmare stroked Kevin’s (that's the chicken) hackles, the small bird trilling as he did so. Nightmare walked the length of his ship, which wasn’t named. It was likely that he would have to replace it sooner rather than later. He couldn’t get attached to it. Dream always came by with his troops and burned down, punctured holes, or whatever the fuck else to his ship.

The amount of boats he had gone through within the couple of months he’s been with his two other buddies was well into the double digits. It was exhausting having to steal ships constantly, and having to get new stuff over and over. Sometimes, he just considered handing himself over to Dream, that it wasn’t worth the trouble of fighting back. He always shook his head and tried desperately not to think about that kind of outcome. He wasn’t going to give up that easily. If Dream wanted him, then the bastard would have to get him himself.

The chicken in his arms shifted and squirmed, and Nightmare set Kevin down and gently scratched his head. He had made it to the helm of the boat and glanced around. It was quiet, and the air was crisp. It wasn’t a terribly cold night, and he was able to just wear a short-sleeved shirt without much issue. He slipped his hands into his pockets, Kevin trailing him, preening himself every so often. He looped around the helm and then started a trek back to the otherside of the boat. He wasn’t planning on sleeping tonight, so pacing the boat and hanging out with his chicken was the plan for the night.

Once Nightmare got to the other side of the boat, he realized that staying up wasn’t going to be a solo activity. Kevin cooed, announcing both his and Nightmare’s presence to Error who was sitting at the edge of the boat. She appeared unconcerned at the fact that she could fall right over into the ocean. She had a cup of coffee in her hands, and it was still steaming.

Nightmare shifted awkwardly on his feet, “Hey?”

Error flinched slightly, but turned her head around. She pushed up her red, comically large, rounded glasses. Settling them on her nose. “Sup. Have a seat?”

Without too much difficulty, Nightmare hopped over the fence and plopped next to Error, a good amount of space between them. Error had a whole set up out here, damn. With a fresh cup of coffee, and some sort of crochet project in her lap. There was also a lantern on the opposite side of her, sitting precariously on the fence behind her.

“Does that not give you anxiety?” Nightmare asked, wheezing out slightly. She took a glance at what he was referring to, that being the lantern.

Error shrugged, the crochet needles clinking together as she mindlessly worked on the project. “It’ll be fine. I’m pretty much anxious all the time.”

“SAME!” Cross shouted from the window leading to the living space. Error put her head in her hands and Nightmare snickered.

“COME DOWN HERE AND JOIN US!” Nightmare shouted back, laughing slightly to himself.

“OK!” And the window was slammed closed.

“And there goes my peace and quiet.” Error said, accented with an eye roll and a soft, if exasperated smile. Nightmare snickered in response, and leaned back. It was a little nerve wracking, being at the very edge of the ship. Luckily the skies were clear, and the water wasn’t moving too fast. If one of them were to fall in, they’d be alright. It would be scary and shitty but they wouldn’t drown or be left behind.

“What are you doing up?” Error asked him, going back to her crochet project.

“Couldn’t sleep. You?”

Error just shrugged, and turned to her side to pet Kevin’s head, since he had appeared out of nowhere to join them. The chicken cooed as Error stroked his head, and sat down when she ceased.

“Vague but ok.”

“My answer is the same as yours, dickhead, I couldn't sleep.”

“Don’t you complain about being tired all the time?”

“Don’t you?” Nightmare scoffed and rolled his eyes. Error got him there. He pulled up one of his legs into his lap, allowing the other one to dangle over the edge. After a few moments, Cross had finally made her way down to the back of the boat. Cross looked at the two dangling over the edge, before deciding to make the objectively correct decision to not sit along the ledge of the boat. Kevin burrowed himself in between Cross’s feet, and tucked his head back into himself, making the decision that none of the humans on the boat can seem to make: going to sleep.

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

“Yup.” Nightmare said as Error hummed in agreement. Cross paused and slid down the fence, sitting down, her back to Nightmare’s. The boat rocked side to side gently, the waves crashing against the wood, the smell of the sea, and the sound of Error’s crocheting needles clicking together was nice. It was just the three (er…four) of them on the open water, no Dream or navy in sight. None of them could remember the last time they had a relaxed, not stressful time like this.

They had no need to be anywhere, and being on the sea was the safest option for them. They were outlawed everywhere else. Supplies were high and they had no need to make any stops. Being at sea, with no place to go in mind was nice. Just allowing the sea to take them to wherever they wanted. Cross bent down and scritched at Kevin’s neck, the rooster cooing slightly in his sleep. Nightmare yawned and stretched his arms out, his back popping as he did so.

“It’s quiet tonight.” Error spoke, her tongue sticking out of her mouth slightly as she worked. 

“It’s nice though. Especially without Captain Von Bitch on our asses.”

“Mm.” Error nodded, pushing back a braid that had fallen in front of her face. “Although I do question his motives.”

“I think his motives are that he’s an asshole.”

“That is not what I mean at all but okay.”

Nightmare leaned against his knees and looked at Error. He wasn’t particularly fond of this conversation, but he wanted to see what Error was thinking. Especially if he needed to correct any factual errors that Error might have about him. The last thing he wanted was his friends believing that Dream was less of a dick than he actually was. Some people believed that Dream was some angel, and it pissed him off to no end. “What…do you mean then?”

“We do not qualify as pirates, since we hardly even steal and most violence we do is in self defense. While I don’t think our actions are well within the law - CROSS - but we aren’t pirates. And Dream exists in this weird gray area of not-pirate but also not-navy. And yet he claims that we’re pirates and he is not and it just doesn’t make sense? In all technicality he’s breaking the law as much as we are.” Error paused, “Does that make sense? I don’t know if I’m making sense.”

“No no, I totally get it.” Nightmare shook his head. “It’s because he’s a hypocrite. It’s part of who he is.” They had both deserted the navy. And yet he was the one Dream called a pirate. Truly if dramatic irony was a person, it would be Dream.

“You’ve known him for like, forever then?” Cross questioned, one of her eyebrows raised.

“Unfortunately.”

How could Nightmare not notice the quiet exchange of eye-contact between Error and Cross? The silent gesture of Error telling Cross to not to push any further. He liked that about Error, really. He knew that she understood not wanting to talk about someone, or even think about them. She knew when it was time to change subjects. He appreciated it. He pretended that he didn’t see it though, preferring to stroke Kevin’s head. The chicken purred, which is a thing that could happen! Most people associate purring with cats but chickens do it too! Nightmare loved telling Error and Cross chicken facts. Error found it less fun but Cross was always interested.

“I think it’s kind of mean to blame me for all the crimes we commit. You and Nightmare aren’t innocent either!”

Error rolled her eyes so hard that Nightmare worried that she would roll them into a different dimension. “I never said that we weren’t. You just tend to steal shit even though you don’t have to. Then we get in trouble and then we have to go back out to sea which makes us vulnerable.”

“You people don’t appreciate me.”

“I appreciate you, Cross.” Nightmare spoke, looking up at her.

A hand gently patted his forehead and he snickered, “THANK YOU.”

There was another silence, and the three took a second to listen. There was the sloshing of the waves against their vessel, Kevin’s soft trilling, the clicking of Error’s knitting needles, and no sound of another ship approaching them. It had been around a year since Nightmare picked up Error to be a part of his mini “pirate” crew, and nearly two years since he found Cross. To say that they were close was an understatement. At sea it was just them, they couldn’t exactly get away from each other. They had seen shit, and been through shit, and even though Nightmare was sure that they’d eventually get tired of his bullshut and leave, they didn’t.

Some aspects of their personal history often got lost. Nightmare was especially notorious for not talking about himself. And most of their conversations were making up random stories or telling each other ridiculous stories about who knows what. It was inevitable that heavier conversations would come up on occasion. 

Much to Cross and Error’s misfortune, Nightmare was feeling particularly somber. Maybe it was the nighttime, the quiet, or maybe he was just in a more grim mood than usual.

“Cross?”

The clicking of knitting needles got quieter, “Yea?”

“Have you lived at sea before? Like as a kid?” Nightmare asked. He was honestly hoping that she had, it would just make his brain happy. He hadn’t gone out to sea until he was nineteen and Error was a maybe. She couldn’t remember much of her life before she met Blue, and subsequently Nightmare and Error. The last thing she remembered were flashes of a terrible storm, and then awakening on a beach where she met Blue. It was entirely possible that she was always at sea, but no one could really be sure. If Cross was always at sea, then it would just make their little group complete.

“Dude I’ve been on the ocean since I was little.”

Nightmare mentally pumped his fist.

“Really? I didn’t think that it would be a good idea to bring kids onto open water.” Error commented, taking a second to stop her knitting and look up at Cross. Cross nodded, leaning into the ship railing.

“It’s not. My dad was a retired navy officer and I think it fucked him up badly or some bullshit. Maybe he was always fucking nuts, who knows. I never really had a home on land until I was like, twenty. Then I met you guys and the rest is history.” Cross laughed softly, although it didn’t reach her face. She spoke of her father on occasion, often by cussing or cursing him out.

“What happened?” 

“My family had enough, y’know?” Nightmare and Error could only assume what Cross had meant. “And one day when I was seventeen or so, I dunno, they dropped me off at a town with an old family friend. I wanted to go with them but…my mom made me stay behind.”

“Cross you don’t-” Nightmare started before Cross shushed him. She took a seat on the opposite side of the fence, back to back from Nightmare. 

“I know I don’t man. But I think I want to?”

“Jeez.” Nightmare grabbed Kevin and tossed him over the fence. The chicken, who was rightfully startled, screamed and ran off, squawking as he did so. Error gave Nightmare a look, something she did often, and he shrugged in response. He would give Kevin a small piece of bread as an apology. He didn’t give Kevin bread too often, since it did almost nothing in terms of nutrients. His bird friend liked it though, so it was a good apology gift when he pulled shit. 

It wasn’t often that the trio worked in sync together. While they worked efficiently during fights and outrunning Dream and his gaggle of self-righteous fools, on their off time they often had some clashes. Nothing relationship ruining, it was just they were always doing different things that sometimes contended with each other. However, that night they all had the same thought process. Nightmare hopped over the fence and plopped right down next to Cross. Error did the same, going on the opposite side of Nightmare.

There was a heavy silence. Cross was the most open out of the trio, but even this felt extremely personal. But Cross also had a point. Sometimes holding things in for too long was harmful, and Nightmare knew that better than anyone.

“Go ahead Cross.” Error prompted, her voice soft. She set her knitting needles down, her knees tucked into her chest.

“Ahah um.” Ah. It wouldn’t be a Cross-centered conversation if she didn’t try to back out of it. However both Nightmare and Error had gotten quite skilled at pushing back at Cross when she made an attempt to change the conversation topic.

“Don’t even think about it, Cross.” Nightmare said before anything else could happen, his voice sharp and to the point.

Cross’s mismatched eyes looked helplessly back at Error, who just stared back, the glare of the sun hiding most of her eyes through her glasses. She nodded at Cross, who took a deep breath.

“It was a suicide mission.” The words held heavy in the air. Error’s eyes widened for a second, but she didn’t react in any other way. Nightmare put his hand on Cross’s forearm. “They, my family, knew that the only way to get dad out of the picture was to go down with him. My mom left me with a family friend. I don’t think she wanted me to die. I don’t know why.” Cross scoffed.

“I worked with that family friend for a few years.” Cross looked down at Nightmare, “Then I met you.” The two shared a moment, shared a smile between each other. 

“There was more than that, but y’know.” Nightmare shrugged, turning to Error who’s face said nothing. Although he knew better than that. He figured that he should clear up some of the timing for her, since she wasn’t there until a few months later. Of course, she wasn’t left entirely in the dark. Especially since Cross would often rant and rave about her relationship with Ink and how Dream had wronged their friendship.

Error knew more about Ink’s past and history with Cross than both Cross and Nightmare expected. A few months into being a member on Nightmare’s ship, by complete coincidence, Nightmare and Dream had docked in neighboring towns. Error couldn’t sleep and, apparently, neither could Ink. At first, Error thought a fight would ensue on the dock. But it didn’t. They just sat down next to each other, legs hanging over the ocean water. They just chatted. About nothing in particular. It was similar to what the trio were doing now. Error hadn’t told them about it, and she doubts she ever will. Although Error did learn a few things about Ink. 

The most prevalent being that their stories were quite similar. Neither of them really remembered their life before meeting Dream and Nightmare. However Ink did have some memories of her childhood, unlike Error who had lost everything. It was interesting, to hear about someone else’s amnesia. She could only assume that her’s was due to the ship crash that she suspected took place before meeting Blue while Ink’s was due to trauma or something like that. Of course, Ink didn’t tell her everything. Most of their conversation was just a back and forth of ranting about things that annoyed them. However, one of the things Ink talked about, briefly, she wasn’t much for conversation, was that sometimes things would remind her of specific childhood events. Suddenly memories long forgotten would just…appear in her mind.

To Error, that sounded like hell.

They had talked briefly a few times after that meeting. Nightmare would never again dock in a city anywhere near Dream. Even if it meant stretching rations over a day or two longer than they should be. Life on the sea was comfortable, despite it all. 

“Wooph, thanks guys.” Cross looked between the two of them, a smile appearing on her face. “I think I needed that.”

“Yeah, of course.” Error said, her body no longer as tense as it was before.

“...I don’t think I’ve told anyone that before.” Cross added, voice going soft. That time, it was Nightmare who responded, arms crossed and resolute in his tone, “Well obviously. Why would you?”

“Nightmare.” Error punched, not with her full strength, him in his arm, and he yelped in surprise. “What he means is: thanks for trusting us Cross. We’re for you.” Nightmare rolled his eyes as he rubbed his arm, but his gaze softened when he made eye contact with Cross once more. He nodded, patting Cross’s forearm. It was awkward, but who would they be if they weren’t?

Cross laughed and a large yawn escaped her as she did so. She leaned back as she did so, a low grunt slowly leaving her. Exhausted. With a grunt, Cross stood up. Her hands reached around to her back and she stretched, and Nightmare could hear her spine pop as she did so. The three of them all struggled with their sleeping schedules, Nightmare the most, and all for different reasons. If one of them was going to head to bed first, it was almost a guarantee that it would be Cross. 

“I think I’m gonna…head on up.” She ruffled Nightmare’s hair as she spoke, much to his displeasure. “Fuckin’ spent.”

Error nodded, messing with her gloves, “That makes sense. Sleep on this, and if you wanna talk about it a bit more in the morning, you can. We’ll be here.” She snorted as she finished, as Cross was now leaning on Nightmare with her hand on his head. He was not amused one bit.

After messing up Nightmare’s hair a final time Cross spoke, “Yeah. Thanks. Will you two be…?” Nightmare shrugged, “Well. Good night, if you end up sleeping that is.”

“‘Night Cross.” Nightmare waved as Cross disappeared behind the corner and into their quarters. The ship was small and getting around it was easy enough, although it had little room for their sleeping quarters. The three of them had to sleep in the same general area, they really had no other choice. Error and Cross adjusted to it fine, for one reason or another, but Nightmare? Nightmare struggled. With his, well, nightmares. Ironic, huh?

So to avoid having that uncomfortable conversation, Nightmare just had the most fucked up sleep schedule known to man. It was worth it. Probably. Since it was just the three of them, they had to swap out who would do night shifts. It was often Nightmare who offered, so that he could stay up. He didn’t sleep very much anyway, the least he could do was be productive at night. That wasn’t every night though, as Error and Cross also took their fair share of night shifts. Nightmare didn’t sleep much at night when they did though, often plagued with terrors. So he compromised with his body. He often napped in short periods, not long enough to go into REM sleep and dream, but long enough that his brain could rest. It really sucked honestly, but it worked.

“You gonna head up soon too?” He asked, turning his head towards Error who had picked up her knitting needles and continued her project. His legs were crossed and he leaned into his hand. Both he and Error looked like shrimps, both of their posture being shitty as hell. 

“Are you?”

“I didn’t plan to.”

“Do you mind if I stay up with you?”

Nightmare blinked a few times, “Nah, not at all.”

There was a small smile on Error’s face, “Cool.”

Silence covered them like a soft blanket. Nightmare and Error didn’t hang out one on one that often, but when they did it was nice. She was just…chill. There wasn’t really a need to talk, although they totally could. He considered it, briefly, before seeing how enthralled Error was in her work. His tired eyes drifted up into the sky, the stars dancing in his vision. Error knew a lot about the stars and how to navigate with them, although from where he couldn’t say. His mouth opened to speak, to start some kind of conversation but she beat him to it.

“Mind if I ask you something?” Before he could respond, she added on, “You can say no, by the way. It might be kinda sensitive.” Error watched his face, at his dark blue eyes that looked almost purple in some lights. He squinted at her.

“Shoot.”

“Why did you leave the navy?”

“Oh. Yeah no, that’s not a hard question.” Nightmare paused as the tapping of bird feet on the deck slowly got louder. With a scream, Kevin lept into Nightmare’s arms, getting comfortable in his lap. “Hey buddy. Forgiven me already? Haha. Anyways, I deserted for a few reasons, um. The main one being I didn’t want to be part of the navy y’know? It was never a goal of mine to…fight, I guess? Being a military personnel sounds like hell. And when I did get drafted, I hated how both Dream and I were being treated. We both did.

“Dream was always more into it than I was. But I won’t get into his whole…everything.” There was a lot there. And honestly? He didn’t really want to think about the past, and his whole relationship with Dream. It was like putting salt in an open wound. On many occasions, he wondered if Dream thought about him the way he thought about Dream. There was this sour fondness that came up whenever he thought about their time together. And every time the wound he thought he had sewn up opened wide up for all to see.

Error nodded, knowing better than to push Nightmare about Dream. He looked over at her, and she just looked back at him. He did leave his reasoning unfinished.

“And eventually…I just kinda left. Went AWOL. I tried to convince Dream to come with me, but uh,” He forced a laugh into his voice, but his face was still tugged back into a sneer, “He already decided how he felt about me.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

“Why what?”

“Why he…y’know,” Error gestured with her hands.

Luckily, Nightmare knew what she meant.

“Not really. If I had to guess, I’d say that he saw how the military was running and thought that he could do a better job. He was always like that. Observing things and then making them better. When I went AWOL, I guess he lobbed me in with pirates and stuff? I couldn’t tell you why he did that.”

There, of course, was more to it than that. But Nightmare had reached his “talking about Dream” limit for the day, and he suspected Error could tell.

Nightmare stroked Kevin’s neck, “Dream’s mind is fucking enigma.”

The knitting needles and project were slowly being put away. “It really is, isn’t it?” She turned to look him in the eye, “Are you alright?”

“What?” He raised an eyebrow at her, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We just had a deep conversation, of course I’m going to check in on you.”

God, Error was so cool like that. Nightmare scoffed slightly, but smiled at the sentiment. “Error, dude, I’m fine. Promise.”

“If you insist.” Error stood up, gathering up her knitting supplies in her hands. “I’m going to head off to bed. Or, try at least. You coming?”

“In a bit.”

With a nod, Error began to head back into the sleeping quarters. Nightmare had totally lied about heading back to bed, although he wondered if Error picked up on it. Not with Cross and Error being in the same room. He had filled in his quota of talking to his friends about important shit for the month, and he was not going to explain his horrendous nightmares. His nightmares varied in content and who was present. Very rarely were they just unsettling, making him wake up in a cold sweat. More often than not, he’d wake up in tears and gasping for air. And sometimes, on the worst nights, he would wake up screaming. That was the thing that he wanted to avoid at all costs.

However, there appeared to be a change in plans. Before Error could get far, Cross came barrelling from the door to the quarters. Nightmare could see the startled look on her face and stood up, keeping Kevin in his arms. She slid to a halt, around an arms length away from Nightmare, and Error pressed herself up against the nearby wall to avoid being touched. 

“Guys,” Cross heaved, not bothering to take a second to catch her breath. Sweat dripped from her forehead. Her eyes glanced wearily from Nightmare to Error, clearly shaken up. “It’s Dream, his ship, port side.”

“God fuckin’ damnit.” Nightmare seethed, setting Kevin down on a nearby barrel. The chicken didn’t even stir in his sleep. “Let’s go. I need to see how far he is. Maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to avoid him.”

The Trio of Idiots all made a fast dash to the front of the ship. Kevin and Error’s knitting supplies were left behind. Sometimes Nightmare cursed the messy nature of all of them, just leaving shit around with no reasoning behind it. Things often got lost or misplaced and sometimes it pissed him off, especially when he went to find something and it ended up falling right off of the ship. However, he had to thank both his, Error’s, and Cross’s lack of organization, as his spyglass was sitting precariously on top of some boxes. He grabbed as he ran up the bow, getting as far up it as he could. Cross and Error  soon joined him, the cold sea wind blowing in all of their faces. Nightmare raised the spyglass up to his left eye and glanced around at the port side.

The horizon between the endless blue ocean and star-covered sky is cut by a massive ship. Nightmare didn’t even need the skyglass to recognize it.

Radiance.

That stupid ship and its stupid name and its stupid captain!

“Is it him?” 

“Oh it’s fucking him alright.” Nightmare said, grinding his teeth as he did so. He focused on the ship. It was, thank god, not coming straight for them. He squinted at the bow. There was someone on it, talking to Dream. He could recognize Dream from a mile away, especially with his bright golden hair. But there was someone next to him. Someone he didn’t recognize. He stepped closer to the edge, leaning over to get a better look. Cross put her hand on his shoulder, to both stabilize him as well as getting into the position to catch him if he slipped. The last thing they needed was any of them falling into the water while Dream was around.

It was dark, and without memories to fill in the gaps, Nightmare couldn’t get a good grasp as to what exactly he looked like. There was some light illuminating from the Radiance, but not enough. Damnit! It also didn’t help that the stranger had pressed themself up against Dream either.

“What is it?” Error asked, “What do you see?”

“Some, uh, guy.”

“A guy?”

Nightmare adjusted the focus on the spyglass. He struggled to separate the stranger from Dream, but he did his best. “Yeah…wearing a blue something? A scarf maybe? They’ve got what I think is short brown hair and, uh, yeah that's about it.”

There wasn’t much to his description, but once he stepped back, he saw the startled expression on Error’s face. Wordlessly, he handed Error the spyglass so she could get a look. Cross shifted on her feet awkwardly, unsure if she should stabilize Error like she did with Nightmare or not. She glanced towards Nightmare who shook his head. Error was much more careful with her feet placement, and grounded herself securely.

Error hesitated. She didn’t raise the spyglass to her glasses for a moment too long. She swallowed hard, and she prayed to whatever deity that existed that Nightmare was wrong. That it was somewhere else, anyone else. She focused the spyglass and focused on where Dream and the other person were. Despite the multiple layers of glass between her eye and what she was seeing, it was clear enough who was on The Radiance. Error’s heart began to race, apprehension and adrenaline rushing through her. She staggered backwards, bumping into Nightmare, who shifted to her right.

“What’s the matter? Do you know him?”

A scoff left Error’s mouth, and she took her glasses off of her face and wiped them down with her skirt. “Do I know him? Yeah, I fucking know him.” She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Taking any grievances on Nightmare and Cross wasn’t a good idea. “It’s Blue.”

“WHAT?!” Cross stands there mouth agape.

“What is he doing with Dream of all people??”

“Who the hell knows!” Error rubbed her temples, “It’s…whatever. Right now we need to make sure we avoid his line of sight.”

The other two nodded, and Cross left to begin unveiling the sails, setting them up to catch as much wind as possible. Error’s job was to make sure cannons were loaded and working properly. While once might think that Cross should have that heavy lifting job, it was often much harder to work the sails. It’s also what Cross did on her dad’s ship, so hey, if it isn't broken don’t fix it. And often Nightmare took his position as captain (no one calls him captain) and steered the ship, assisting Cross and Error when necessary. When Error finished, she often assisted Nightmare or Cross in whatever they needed, and vice versa.

Before Error could get to work, Nightmare grabbed her by her sleeve. Despite there being no actual contact, she still jumped. He immediately pulled his hands away.

“Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine. What’s up? We need to keep moving.”

“I know.” Nightmare crossed his arms. “Just…We care about you, y’know. If you need anything, I’m here.”

Error pushes her glasses up, the glare from the moon concealing her expression. With some hesitation, she grabs Nightmare’s hand with her gloved one. Wordlessly, she squeezes it, rubbing the back of his hand. A silent thank you.

She lets go of his hand before adjusting her glasses a final time, “Now, let’s beat some not-pirate ass.”

“Hell yeah.”

[magpigment]

MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR GENLOSS EPISODE: THE CHOICE

hello! these are my reactions and thoughts as i watched the third, and final, part of generation loss! not really an analysis, tho it does have some of my theories that were developed as i was watching. enjoy i suppose, lol

ok this is dope opening footage

who the hell is the mask person just walking around??? why are they in a mall??? hello???

does mask persons mask have the showfall symbol on it because i genuinely can’t tell lmao

ENHANCE 

ok well it’s still just as blurry as before because like. obviously. but i’m almost positive their mask DOES have the showfall symbol on it. cool 😎 

why are there so many mask people actually 

are they like. guards?? is this fnaf: security breach??? thas crazy lmao

why was that one wearing a fedora 😂 

also this dynamic camera shot is low key making me motion sick lmao, even if it is super cool

that’s a super helpful directory right there yep! 

ah yes, the smoke gala, my favorite 

why did that one showfall symbol on the glass look like it was painted in blood or something and how did they get it so neat. did they paint it on w a stencil using blood instead of paint. i need answers

oop hello ranboo

ok finally ranboo took off the bundle of like wires or paper clips or whatever that was dangling from their neck, i was wondering what that was lol

ohhhh ranboo trying to talk to the person filming is super cool

who the hell is talking to them rn lmao

hello hacker guy

his name is HEDGE?? did i mishear that

ok so i was right! when the mask is glowing red it means he’s being controlled 

also i didn’t even know ranboo here was able to take off their mask. i thought it was like. attached to them or something. 

ok i’m genuinely like on the edge of my seat lol

oooof ranboo is finally realizing that the people who died are like actually dead! yikes lmao 

those are some pretty good effects for the blood tho like that looked pretty real all things considered. or like it’s the right color more or less

aaaaaand there’s the grappling with morals and survivors guilt and trying to reconcile being under someone else’s control while simultaneously realizing that the things you did while under said control was at least somewhat responsible for like, what, four? at least? people’s deaths! 

….i feel like hedge or whatever he’s called is like for sure lying. i mean i know at least some of the people are in some capacity still alive but ALSO. i feel like he’s lying to ranboo to keep him from just leaving lmao. also i feel like that exit door prolly wouldn’t have worked anyway so whatever 

this is such a cool setting btw, the amount of work that must’ve gone into this is insane. and also the soundtrack is phenomenal

i’m like super sus on this hacker guy lmao 

UHHH YEAH I AGREE WHAT IS THAT??? 

‘it’s locked up, it’s secure, don’t worry about it ^^’ homeslice that thing is behind the least secure covering i’ve seen in my life. that thing looked flimsy as hell 

i feel like this hacker might not know what he’s doing 

i did not catch any of what that hacker said he needed, in one ear and out the other 

‘..are these people, or machines, or-‘ uhhh i think the answer to that is YES. 

i feel like i’m about to get jumpscared lmao

i feel like these guys won’t be ‘pretty much harmless’ in a bit tee hee 

ranboo sure is going through it huh

‘how long have i been here’ i’m not sure you’ve ever left, buddy. 

also, showfall SET UP MISSING POSTERS for ranboo on the OFF CHANCE HE ESCAPED??? BRUH. absolutely bizarre behavior 

the fucking whiteboard in the corner with basically the plot of the series so far 😂 

‘DAY 2 PLAN!! 

-puzzle 

-electric chair

-audience will chose

two plus two equals five 

-black light closet

decoy “planned case of death” ‘ 

along w a couple doodles and some other stuff i couldn’t quite make out so that’s cool lol

ranboo is ahac- assigned hero at construction

i’m like convinced gl!ranboo is not like a full flesh and blood human being, homeslice is a lab baby for sure 

oh there’s a day one plan whiteboard too but it wasn’t completely shown 

imagine being payed to sit in a room completely still for however long lmao

did one of the people standing in the window leave?? 😂 

oh that’s such a cool way to incorporate the viewer interaction or whatever again, with the hacker intentionally seeking them out for their input and ranboo being completely against it because ‘they might try to kill me’. i’m not gonna say it’s foreshadowing, BUT- it’s like for sure foreshadowing not a doubt about it lmao

lmao ranboo this is why you always listen to chat, they’re always right without fail /j 

but honestly the audience hasn’t steered him wrong so far for the most part, at least for like the puzzles and stuff 

oop bye hacker

oh he’s called hetch (?)

oop the people are moving around now that’s ominous 

oh god the security 

welp :D

that’s not good ^^

I CAN HEAR CHARLIE JN THE BACKGROUND MY BOY WHERE ARE YOU

i admire those people’s ability to just completely not break character to this tall person running up to them and desperately trying to get their attention lmao

the headphones probably help lol

ok what the actual hell is charlie literallt even saying right now 😂 

the amount of times i’ve said that should be concerning but honestly i’m just resigned to it at this point. that’s my streamer 💔 

sup my dude lmao

LMAO RANBOO JUST BREAKING CHARLIES CAMERA 😂

charlie sounds so fucking confused and sad nooo

ok genuinely i do not understand how the puzzler died AT ALL. literally what even happened there 

i can’t get over how much taller ranboo is than charlie, charlie looks itty bitty but he could also just straight up deck me so i’m getting mixed signals here XD

charlie is such a good actor i’m losing my mind 

that is a very big mall lmao

i like just noticed that piercing alarm noise ouch my ears 

SUBA hell yeah

ah yes, jake’s, my favorite store 

i’m surprised they actually found a functioning directory 

oop. that’s a corpse 

OOP THATS A SPOOKSTER YIKES RUN RUN RUN RUN LMAO

i should not be watching this at like 2am lmao

du du du du minecraft minehunt that’s crazy

CHARLIE PARKOUR AWAY I BELIEVE IN YOU XD

charlie has an axe what will he do

ranboo with a knife what will they do

(im pretty sure i know what they’ll do with that knife 😅)

charlie has died a lot yeah lmao

charlie w a frying pan what will he do XD

yeahhhhh i had a feeling they wouldn’t just be able to leave lol

that cameraman got moves tho lmao, mad respect 

oof running up stairs, ouch

‘OH WHY DIDNT GOD GIVE ME LONGER LEGS’ mood, charlie, mood

yeah i’m sure they’ll be able to emotionally process this later lmao

oop hacker is dead

oop never mind yikes 

…yeah it’s just a flesh wound i’m sure he’ll be fine 😅 

that dye is not gonna wash out of that guys hand easily yikes. fake blood can be a bitch to get out of things lmao

ALSO I WAS RIGHT, ranboo and charlie and all the others aren’t actual humans technically!

diversity win! you and your friends are artificially created humanoids designed to play a role in horrific death games for the mundane entertainment of a faceless audience! 

ok so the hacker is called hetch? cool

i’m also like mostly certain that the hacker is grizzly im pretty sure. maybe. i’m not great w voices i’ll be honest lol

oop. ranboos just committed a murder lmao

baby’s first kill in cold blood, i’m so proud 🥰 /j 

charlie looks awfully blasé about the stabbing that occurred right in front of him 

THE LOOK HE GAVE RANBOO XD

why’d ranboo ditch the knife bro they might need that later :(

goddd the soundtrack is literally so good tho 

OH THATS WHY RANBOO SAID THAT THERE WAS A WEIRD PAINTINF, I WAS RIGHT, IT WAS IN REFERENCE TO SEEING ‘the fourth wall’, THATS SO COOL 

oop bye bye charlie 😭

i feel like homeboys about to get eviscerated and like actually disemboweled this time 

omegalul 😂 

RANBOO GET THE BUTTON GET THE BUTTON GEY THE BUTTON

HELL YEAH

NEVERMIND

THIS PROBABLT ISNT GOOD 😅 

uhhhh sup buddies tee hee 

oh they’ve stopped moving that’s good

conveniently placed button

i mean not convenient enough i guess cuz like charlie is currently bleeding out or something but THATS BESIDES RHE POINT

i’ve almost managed to convince myself this has like a somewhat happy ending

aaaaaand never mind

the way my stomach genuinely fucking DROPPED when i saw that guy appear in the doorway immediately after ranboo bowed jesus christ my heart

i reiterate i absolutely should NOT be watching this at 2am yet my hubris knows no bounds 

and also now my cat is meowing at my door bruhhh stop ruining the ending of this for me, max /j 

the immeasurable dread in my gut right now, yall 😅 

bye bye ranboo 👋 

BOXED LIKE A FISH RANBOOS BOXED LIKE A FIS- *gets shot*

i fucking KNEW hetch was a goddamn bootlicker!! 

fuck you hetch!!! 

oh oof what happened to their mask :( 

i knew this goddamn audience interactive element was gonna bite me in the ass jesus christ

ranboo is fucking stellar at acting which is why i can safely say i am in absolute goddamn shock! 

oh homeslice is just straight up crucified wow

i wonder if there was any alternate ending or if the vote was precast to always end the way it did. because i know how this ends, and it is not a happy ending. i don’t think there was ever any way it COULDVE been a happy ending. this was always a tragedy, and the hero is always doomed by the narrative 

oh just the abrupt and complete SILENCE upon the box closing, before it slowly zooms out and the theme fades in and swells as the blood drips down from the box??? holy shit that’s so fucking cool

the way this entire thing was directed and performed is a goddamn masterpiece, this was phenomenal and an absolute blast all the way through!!! i’m so so so glad i watched this and i so so so wish i had watched it earlier 

i’m in shock y’all that was so cool

this is definitely going on my list of all time favorite pieces of horror media!! mannnn that was done so unbelievably well i’m absolutely blown away!! 

i can’t wait to just lose my mind about this for the next like. forever i suppose 

i can’t wait to analyze this dude i’m so excited!!!!!!! 

[fizzingwizard]

Time for some semi-ritual bitching about one of my favorite bitch-worthy topics, Yugioh

Why couldn't they have just done Memory World properly

Why make us suffer through Doma... and especially KC Grand Prix, a single episode of which is more boring than filler in any other fandom... and they made an entire filler arc out of it! Like Doma has lots of faults but at least it tried to do something interesting. It tried to develop characters, which proooobably shouldn't have been undertaken by a filler arc with no canon script to follow, but gold star for trying! Had a shitty finale not remotely worthy of its awesome beginning, but did we really expect any better? lol. KC Grand Prix tho, no. That's just there to Idk be mean to men with pink hair and dumb names?? In the ridiculous hair dumb names anime???

cut because Fizz has the curse of long-windedness thanks my evil fairy godmother

anyway back to Memory World, maybe the issue was the story in the manga still lagged behind where the anime was. I don't remember. If so I guess there was no choice but filler. Still, did they have to blow the budget on it? They lost most of their good animators during Doma, where they also introduced a couple new crap ones who stuck around till the end of course -___- And no doubt the animators were getting paid peanuts for long hours of work, and if they'd run out of budget to even pay that... well clearly the show should have been shorter. Like two whole filler arcs shorter. Just take a break, take a pause, come back when you're ready to do Memory World the way it should be done. Back then no one took breaks, "The fans will forget us," nowadays TV shows just up and away for multiple years at a time x'D before returning suddenly with a new season.

The reason I'm still salty and plan to be salty to my grave is just this. Memory World is the one and only YGO arc since season zero that was not explicitly about card games. They'd been dropping hints since the first that we could expect ancient Egypytian shenanigans in the finale. We were supposed to find out about Atem's lost memories and recover his name. That was the driving force behind everything that wasn't filler. I specifically became a fan as a kid because I enjoyed reading about Ancient Egypt and thought the idea of a millennia-old feud between a pharaoh and whoever Bakura really was sounded neat. So I watched hours and hours and hours of card games all for the sake of making it to Ancient Egypt.

(don't get me wrong I enjoyed the card games lol. Never ask a YGO fan to explain how watching characters stand around and yell "Pot of Greed allows me to draw two cards from my deck!" for hundreds of episodes somehow stayed fresh and interesting)

So we reach Memory World at loooooooong last and. And the animation is the worst. Atem falls off a cliff it's just like "ow." Bakura isn't have as intriguing anymore now that he's a poorly drawn anime guy with scars. He arrives toting Atem's father's mummy it should be scary. It should be shocking. But instead, for some reason we watched dancing girls of questionable historical accuracy repeat the same frame several times, while Atem makes a face like a baby trying his hardest to go number two in his diaper. In the manga this scene is really funny, with Siamun being Sugoroku in every way, and Atem in his awkwardness being more Yugi-like than we've ever seen him. In the anime they are just going through the motions. There's no life in anything.

The one thing the anime version got right was understanding that this was the one and only opportunity we'd have to learn about Atem. You know, half of the main character for the whole show. Even the manga is really so busy doing plot stuff it kind of forgets to make us care about the ancient Egyptian cast. The anime took advantage of the need for pacing to give us a couple low key moments about Atem & Friends, but for some reason it decided we should 1) know what Atem looked like falling flat on his nose as a toddler, and 2) show us that from a young age he was making grand progressive speeches about equality. Seeing Atem portrayed as a nice guy who cared about people gave me mixed emotions after watching him struggle for seasons with the possibility that he might have been a bad king and not remember it. Because we got a whole season of him making mistakes and disappointing fans in Doma, and now in Memory World the final answer to what kind of person Atem was is just "well he's a good guy in the modern sense of the word lol" and then we move on. Also, neither that speech, nor Doma, are manga canon, but fans on the whole remember Doma much better than they remember nice guy baby Atem. Which is so very nice -.-;

So Memory World could have been so much fun, exciting, adventurous in a way you can't always be when you have to stay put on a holo-duel stage (card games on motorcycles hasn't been invented yet!), and insightful about a character who has been the central point of everything yet whom we knew next to nothing about. Instead it was a poorly animated clusterfuck of battle scenes that were difficult to make sense of. The Bakura stuff was the best. The Kaiba-insert filler was the worst. I was disappointed with Set's arc in the manga as well, another thing that had been built up for years and years and ended up more about the mysterious waif-like dragon girl than Set vs Atem. If the anime changed something to add in Kaiba, I wish they'd have rewritten the Set vs Atem duel so it was mildly interesting, and Idk maybe Kaiba could have teamed up with Atem against his past self, which would have aggravated him to no end? Instead of just wandering around insisting none of this could really be happening. Or he should just not have been there at all. Personally I go the DSOD route and pretend Kaiba was never in Memory World, same as the manga. It's not like erasing him from the anime version has any impact on events bahahaha. He was included for MONEY MONEY MONEY popular character NEEDS to stick around even if he has abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do because MONEY MONEY MONEY

I love DSOD to pieces. But my own dream for the anniversary project was a remake of Memory World. Even if it had been a 90 min movie version instead of several episodes, as long as it was better quality, and invested in Atem as a character instead of simply as a pawn in a game, I would have enjoyed those 90 mins better than the entire Memory World season. Doma and KC Grand Prix were a mistake if they played a role in how awful Memory World was.

But they did the Millennium Duel well. Not astonishing, but really, except for useless Kaiba being there, it was more than adequate. (And although Kaiba himsefl was useless, it was cool seeing him rejected as an opponent for Atem in favor of Yugi. Actually I kinda wish they'd made a bigger deal out of that...) Kid me cried buckets (actually I must have been well into my teens by then bahahaha. I def cried though). Thanks to those final two episodes, the series send-off didn't leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. If it had ended with Memory World it would have been an even bigger disappointment to me than the finale of Bleach. And I despise the finale of Bleach x'D