#he told me it was the essence of life and everything that lives is god | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourejinx · 2 years ago

Text

Undeniable Bonds.

Azriel x F. Reader

Warnings: angst, sad, ugly thoughts.

word count: 3583.

Author’s note: I’m so sorry I’m so late with this. I still don’t know if I like it, but hopefully it isn’t that bad. I know it still is a lot of context, but I promise I’m getting somewhere.

CHAPTER TWO.

“CASSIAN!” — Nesta’s warning roar reached my ears and everything seemed to stop. I turned around dragging my sword with me and gutting the Hybern soldier in one go.

I scanned the area where Cassian’s party was fighting in the skies, then towards the older Archeron sister on the ground next to Amren. Something throbbed inside my veins in warning, as if something hideous had come to life. It took me a heartbeat to understand. The Cauldron. It was going to blast, and Nesta had known where it was aimed at.

The Ilyrians had their shields up, Rhys had blasted his magic across the field and Cassian —gods above— Cassian was already racing towards Nesta, and out of the Cauldrons range. Still, something kept pushing, urging me to move. Danger, Danger, Danger it chanted. It hit me a moment later, and all my alarms went off. Where was Azriel?

Amidst the blinding light and unbearably heat of the blast that followed, I almost missed the faint blue glow trying and failing to contain the blow. There, just behind the ranks, Azriel’s focus was solely in holding that shield up, trying to spare someone, anyone. I could only watch in horror as one of those abhorred gray-skinned creatures approached him fast, claws ready to cut through skin and bone. It was going to behead him.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream like Nesta had to let him know. But my voice failed me, my throat so sore that only a pathetic strangled whisper managed to escape my trembling lips; “No.”

I cursed the mother, the gods and fate itself for not making me a winged creature.

It was impossible for him to have heard it through this distance, and yet —somehow— as if it had slapped him across the face, he turned towards me. His eyes found mine through ash and gore and despair, and I couldn’t let myself think twice before winnowing right at his back, atop the damned beast aiming for his head. I couldn’t bother with strategy at this point, I just angled my blade against that misshaped chest and pushed to get it through its heart. The creature thrashed and fought fangs and claws to get me off, turning us around in the sky as we plummeted down towards certain death. It was enough, I told myself as the ground inched closer to us. It was enough to get it away from Azriel.

I braced myself for the impact, my eyes closed shut and my arms gave up as the creature finally stopped moving. But my body never touched the ground.

Rough, desperate hands were gripping my legs and under my arms, snatching me from the Attor’s grip and up to the skies again. I dared a look at his face, he was forcing his still healing wings far too much but he didn’t seem to care. Hazel orbs were already staring at me. Gaping at me. And I felt it too, the golden string stretching between our souls. Mates, Azriel was my mate.

“You…” Azriel choked on his words. Eyes wide.

“Later.” I promised, still shaken by the feeling of him. Of his very essence entwining with mine.

But the war was still raging under our feet. Later never came.

—----------------------------------------------------------

It had been terrible timing for the bond to snap then. With all that was going on, Amren turning into a living raging flame then vanishing, the Cauldron and the world falling apart…Rhys dying —fucking dying on us — only to come back later.

We didn't speak about it, Azriel and I. Didn't bother to acknowledge it as time passed and we fell back into routine. The adrenaline of the war worn out.

It didn't matter anyways, I realized coming back to present time, for he had hated it even then. So I shut it down, and never dared to talk it into existence.

My mate, the person destined for me, despised me in every way he could. It had to be the saddest joke of them all.

But he had a right, after all, who would love an unworthy monstrous thing like myself?

I pushed the little bakery's door open, walking straight to Rhysand's favorite sweets and buying an entire box of them.

"You're not his fucking sister!", Azriel's words still rang loudly in my head. I had to think carefully how to bring the subject up to Rhys, my decision to leave this court. Because even if I wanted to deny it, some part of what the Shadowsinger had said resonated with me. I didn't deserve Rhys, didn't deserve any of them.

It was getting late already, the sun starting its descent behind the mountains casting Velaris in a warm orange glow. Feyre spotted me first through the open window of their shared home and waved at me to come in. Rhys was just a few feet behind her, holding baby Nyx close to his chest. They looked so happy, if not albeit a bit tired due to the still new parenting dynamic. A smile cut its way through my lips at the scene.

"Y/N, back already?" The High Lady smiled warmly at me. I returned the gesture.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to Rhys about something." I said approaching them and placing a kiss atop Nyx's raven hair. I waved the box of sweets in front of Rhysand's nose. "Has Azriel showed up?"

"No, why?" He asked, snatching the box from my hands with a childish grin and handling the babe to his mate.

I waved a hand in dismissal. He motioned for me to follow him into his office and out to the open balcony overviewing the river.

"What 's going on?"

"Well, we— I didn't found anything that could track back to the missing fae,"

"I sense there's a but somewhere in there.." He said, cocking an eyebrow.

"But…it felt wrong. There was something strange going on. I'm sorry I don't have any proof to offer you, it was a waste of time."

He frowned. "It could happen, we weren't certain about it. We'll keep looking, you’re going to catch them." Rhys opened the box, throwing some sweets into his mouth and then offered me some. “You’re not here just for the mission, are you? I’m guessing either this is some kind of bribe or you’re trying to soften the blow.”

I gave him a half smile, bracing my hands on the railing. His own smile faltered for a moment and concern latched onto his features. “I should brace myself for the blow then,” he commented, resting his back on the railing next to me and searching for my face.

“It’s not that…” I murmured, still not looking directly at him. “You know I love you, right?”

“If you’re going to confess now, please remember my mate is next door” he joked.

“Ass.” I nudged in the ribs with an elbow. Rhys chuckled to himself.

“I love you too, idiot. What 's going on?”

I let out a small sigh. How was I supposed to approach the subject? I have never been good with words and there was so much to tell.

“I mean it, Rhys. You’re my family, you and Feyre, Mor, Cass, Amren…all of you. I’ve never had that, you know? a true family” I glanced at him at last. “I’m sorry if in my excitement I crossed a boundary that I shouldn’t have crossed. I know I’m not your sister, and I will never be her, nor do I intend to occupy her place in your heart. I just… never knew how much I wanted to belong somewhere until I met you guys.”

He frowned deeply. His whole demeanor was serious now.

“Where is this coming from Y/N? Of course you’re not my sister, she’s been gone for a long time. But you still are my family, you’re my sister in every way that counts except for blood. I don’t understand what my dead sister has to do with anything.”

I shook my head, already regretting my choice of words.

“You give me way more than what I deserve… I think it’s time for me to really earn my living.”

“Let me see if I understand correctly. You think you don’t deserve your life here, your home, your job, your friends. Because that should’ve belonged to my sister? Who told you that?”

My eyes shut and I breathed deeply through my nose. I didn’t mean to offend him. "I'm grateful for everything you've done for me, but I can't help feeling like I'm living off of you, of your money.”

“You’re not using my money, you’re using your money. The one you’ve earned by putting your life on the line every single time for us, whenever I asked. You’re not my charity project, you’re my family, and I owe you just as much. So let me ask you again, who put such ideas in your head?”

“No one Rhys. I had that thought in the back of my mind for a while now and when an opportunity had presented itself I just…I don’t want to be a burden.”

Rhys relaxed his shoulders a bit, and put a hand atop my shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“A couple of months ago Hellion offered me a position in his court and told me to think about it, it is mine if I want it. I could finally have my own place, and I would still visit you here”

“I can’t tell you not to take it if that’s what you really want, what would make you happy. But don’t do it for the wrong reasons. Everything you have here, you’ve earned it. The only thing I’m offering you for free is my friendship, I don’t think you’re a replacement for my sister, you are your own person and we all love you for you. So please, get that ridiculous idea that you’re a burden out of your thick skull.” He pinched my cheek affectionately, my throat felt tight. “ And as for Hellion… think about it thoroughly, at least stay until Solstice, would you do that for me?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice. His eyes were always so gentle on me, so understanding.

“Alright.” I mused.

Soft knocks sounded from behind us and Feyre poked her head through the half-open door. “Sorry to interrupt you guys but Azriel is here, says it's urgent.”

Rhys cut a glance at me as if to make sure I was fine before he let the Shadowsinger in. I knew that Rhys suspected about us, about the mating bond, but I never told him and he never asked. My relationship with Azriel has always been strained and Rhysand could absolutely tell it was hurting me, but as long as I wouldn’t bring it up he’d stay out of it. And I appreciated that.

Feyre nodded behind her and fully opened the door to let the Shadowsinger inside. His posture was rigid, wings tucked tight as his eyes fell upon me. “You were right.” He uttered. “I found something back in Spring.”

I willed my face into neutrality, there was no way in Hell I would let him see how much his words had affected me. “What is it?”

"I found a caravan of females of different ages set to be transported through the river. I broke them free but there was no sign of their captors, however I think there’s something you should see.” Azriel’s face was stoic as ever, revealing nothing about the mission nor our previous conflict.

I turned to Rhysand once more, “We should go check on them, but Rhys we can’t leave them there. They will strike again, I’m sure of it, and we can’t count on Tamlin either. No one has heard a word of him in months.”

“We can’t exactly bring an entire court to The Shelter Y/N, those females, they have families. Despite Tamlin being missing, there are still rules and accords with the other courts. It won’t look good. The other High Lords won’t look the other way if we just trespass the borders and start to bring people into our court or if we leave sentinels in there, they will take it as an act of defiance, of me trying to expand these lands and my rule on them.” He had an apologetic look on his face, ever the wise High Lord considering every possible outcome.

I knew he was right and I would not get mad at him. Still, it frustrated me to no end.

I chewed on my bottom lip trying to come up with a solution, at least until we found the slavers.

“What if I talked to Eris?” I offered. “Maybe we could station a small patrol near the border with Autumn under his discretion, maybe he could put some of his own sentinels on guard duty.”

Azriel snorted. “You trust Eris?”

“It is better than nothing Azriel, what do you propose?” I asked, eyebrows high and tone bitter.

The Shadowsinger opened his mouth to reply but Rhys's voice cut him off before we got engaged in another fight yet again. "Let me deal with Eris. You go talk to them, learn whatever you can about what happened to them and report back. You two are stuck there until I sort it out with Eris. Lay low, no one can know of your presence other than the survivors. Be extremely careful."

We both nodded our agreement, not daring another word. I moved past Azriel to the door and he followed closely behind. I could feel his body heat almost enveloping me, he was way too close to be casual.

"If you're worried about what I told Rhysand, I left your name out of it. I took full responsibility for it.”

“Why?” He side-glanced at me. I shrugged.

“Because I’m tired of explaining myself. If you want to get into an argument with me then go ahead, I won’t bother with it. You can go tell him whatever you please.”

I couldn’t be bothered to try and hide the tiredness of my body and mind out of my face. Two whole centuries of this, insulting each other, hurting each other, it was enough. I’ll handle anything he decides to throw at me but I’m done fighting back.

Azriel, to my surprise, didn’t say anything as we walked into the open night.

The night sky had already settled around the city, covering it with its black and dark blue mantle of flickering stars. In my two hundred years of life I had never encountered a more beautiful sight than the one Velaris offered. The Day Court surely will be a huge change, away from everything, from my family and friends, from my favorite cafés and galleries, from the whisper of the quiet darkness that had accompanied me my whole life.

I tore my eyes away from it, ready to winnow; I could feel Azriel’s stare fixed on my face.

“I’ll fly us there.” He offered so low it could have been dragged away with the wind.

“There’s no need for that.”

“You’re tired. Better save some energy, just in case.”

I turned to face him, eyebrows furrowed, and could have mistaken the look on his eyes for concern if I didn’t know him any better. “What did you find there, Azriel?”

Hazel orbs moved to my left wrist, swift, smooth; I wrapped my hand around it almost unconsciously, and brought my arm to my chest, hiding it from his view.

“The females in the caravan, they have the same mark you have on your skin.”

The small crow that had been burned and scarred onto my wrist, branded. My back went rigid. It couldn’t be who I was thinking, that monster died that horrible night two centuries ago. It had to be an imitator, some kind of joke.

The shadowsinger placed a tentative hand on my elbow and brought me out of my own head. I yanked it back from his touch. “Let's go, I want to see it.” Was my only reply.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Azriel.

Your whole demeanor had changed the moment he brought up that hideous mark, a reminder of the haunting past. He didn’t have the full story but given your reaction, and the looks on those fae he had freed, it hadn’t been a personal choice.

Azriel felt bad for being an asshole to you earlier, but he couldn’t bring himself to utter an apology. He hadn’t always been like this, but it was already too late to take it back. You irritated him to no end, the way your scent would flow up his nose and never leave him, day and night it would invade his senses, clouding his mind with that unique water lilies and lemon zest smell of yours. And that big full mouth? always ready to retort to him. Nobody had ever possessed such an innate ability to get under his skin as easily as you did. It made him so mad he could tear at his own hair in frustration.

Still, deep down, Azriel knew that most of his anger wasn't of your doing, not on purpose at least. He would find the tiniest of excuses to keep you out and away from him, not being ready to face the full truth as to why you affected him so much. You always did. It was easier to just dislike you.

But in those extremely rare moments when you would let a sliver of a true emotion show around him, his resolve trembled. And the tightness he felt in his chest was much harder to ignore.

You were silent the whole flight to the Spring Court, something akin to pain haunted your eyes. He didn’t dare speak about it, but something in his stomach twisted at that look.

For the past hour or so he watched you silently as you talked to the females, inspecting them for injuries aside from the branding, asking them about their captors and being extremely patient with them. A little girl even came up to you, eyelashes wet with tears and begged you to find her mother. Azriel caught the way your face twisted into a grim, even if to the little girl you looked confident enough that you were gonna reunite her with her mother. She had clung to you for the rest of the night until she felt asleep.

You had a heart, and a kind soul beyond his comprehension, even if he wanted to convince himself that you didn't. It was a lie. He used to tell himself that you were nothing but Hewn City filth, that no one good could ever come out of that place and you would betray them all eventually. Yet there was Mor. And yet, you were here.

Mor, he hadn't thought about her in a while, not like he used to. He'd like to think the lovely doe-eyed female back home was somehow responsible for it...but he wouldn't dare dig into it much deeper. Somehow his mind always found a way to trick him, bringing thoughts about that other person he couldn't stand. It was not alright to compare.

Azriel snapped back to reality as you moved to approach him, leaving the little girl under the care of an elderly villager. Even in her slumber, she made grabby hands at your receding figure.

"She seemed kinda reluctant in letting you go." He observed. The barely there ghost of a smile tugged at your lips but it was short lived and maybe, just maybe, he could have imagined it. "I didn't know you had a soft spot for children."

You sighed softly, tiredly, as you walked beside him to your guarding spot for the night. He did notice the dark circles under your eyes, the way you tried and failed to keep your shoulders from sagging, and was about to offer to just take the guard himself when you spoke.

"Children are very rare, and precious. It is a blessing to be able to connect with them." Your voice, albeit quiet, was charged with emotion. He thought that was as far as the conversation would go, but you swallowed and after a couple of heartbeats in silence, you spoke again. "I had a little sister once. She reminded me of her."

Maybe it was the rawness and vulnerability of the current situation at hand that had you sharing a little bit with him. Maybe you were so exhausted that you couldn't stop the thoughts from spilling from your lips. Whatever it was, it also compelled him to listen.

"What happened?" He asked, barely above a whisper.

You gave him the saddest, tight lip smile he ever saw you wear and something tugged at his very core. "We were born at the wrong place."

He had judged you wrong, took you up for a cruel, dark creature, never once stopping to think about what you may have endured while you still lived at the Court of Nightmares. Azriel knew it was only a reflection of what he thought of himself.

He didn’t dare ask about the mark on your wrist, not yet. It felt too personal, and he doubted you would have shared it with him anyways.

"Listen about earlier..." He started an apology. Voice a little gruff.

But you cut him out, pinning him with an icy stare, took up the spot on the nearby tree, and didn't talk to him again.

Tag list:

@valeridarkness @hannzoaks @fall-myriad @goradgirl @cmay25

@feiwelinchen @katherine-2007 @anniebannanie0315 @cosmic-whispers @acotarxx

Hope I didn’t forget anyone. Thank you for reading :)

#azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #Azriel #azriel x you #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar fandom #acotar series #acotar #rhys acotar #feysand #acowar

620 notes · View notes

scribeforchrist-blog · 3 days ago

Text

Golden Rule

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=======================

+ Isaiah 41:13 For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you

=======================

VERSE OF THE DAY

======================

+ Matthew 7:12 Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.

=======================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM FOLLOWING THE GOLDEN RULE

I AM LISTENING TO CHRIST

I AM READING MY WORD

I AM NOT LOST

======================

READ TIME: 9 Minutes & 47 Seconds

======================

THOUGHTS:

======================

It's easy to be rude and to treat others wrongly; it's easy to do wrong to others and not think about how this could affect someone else. I had a couple of times where people were cruel to me, and I had others to tell me I would’ve done this or I would’ve done that, but to be honest, I could’ve have , but what good would it be to treat someone the way they treated you.

This was one of the commandments Jesus left us with, and a lot of us don’t do this; we treat others rudely if they treat us rudely; we say ugly things because someone else says ugly things, but this isn’t the way we as believers should be at any time. Sure, we want to treat others ugly, and sure, we want to do things because people are cruel to us, but this is not how we are supposed to handle anything.

Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

This is said to us again: we must do unto others the way we want them to do to us, we have to stop thinking about ourselves and think about how Jesus would do this it used to be some bracelets that said W.W.J.D and it said what would Jesus do and I still wear that bracelet today, and when I go to do something wrong I immediately think, and I look down at the bracelet, and I think what would Jesus do, what would he say how would he react and a lot of us don’t take into account those words we just react and instead thinking.

Leviticus 19:18 18 “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Bitterness can cause us to seek revenge, and at the time, revenge seems reasonable; it seems perfect to be honest to get at people who are cruel to us, but the bible states not to do that but to love our neighbors as we love ourselves and not to seek revenge, a lot of people live their life seeking revenge to harm someone are to get even steven and it’s not right to do this are to seek revenge, I can remember being so focused on seeking revenge on people that I didn’t see how bitter and cold it made me because I was too busy focused on getting what I thought was payback and that’s not how I want someone to treat me I want people to treat me with love. Still, I must give love to receive it.

1 Timothy 1:15 The aim of our charge is love those issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

What should be our aim? Is it to love? It should come from a pure heart and a good conscience; that should be our aim for the day I can say that it is tough to show love when other people don’t show it; it is hard to love someone when people are so cruel sometimes for no reason, but the most important thing we must remember is that this is the golden rule this is one commandment Jesus told us about before he left.

Matthew 7:7: “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you

All this week, we have been studying from the book of Matthew chapter 7. We started in verse 7, and we talked about waiting and knocking; sometimes we must ask Jesus and THEN wait for HIS TIME, and his time doesn’t look like ours; they say God doesn’t have a watch, and he doesn’t his time doesn’t look like ours ,a lot of times we can do everything we feel is right but then we don’t get what we ask. We asked why he hadn’t given it to me. It doesn’t matter what we do; it matters what he wants of us and what he wants us to do and have; sometimes, we forget that his ways aren’t our ways, and his thoughts aren’t our thoughts; we must be careful comparing ourselves to God and comparing our time with his.

Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works so that no one can boast.10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared us to do.

We talked about change, and sometimes it's hard to change because we try to do it in our strength and not in God, and we lose focus on the importance of change and we don’t see why we need to change; we just see that he's asking us to change and for what reason but as we change our hearts and what we see others as and how we view situations changes, I can say as I grew in God I realize that my life isn’t my own and to truly change I can't boast about. Still, all I can do is trust the process, and many of us don’t trust what God is doing in this season of our lives.

Matthew 7:15 Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are vicious wolves.

True change is when we start using discernment for difficult situations and not just our thoughts or our emotions; a lot of people use their emotions to figure out what's happening in their lives, but we must start using discernment on the teachers we allow to teach us , and the pastors we allow to pastor our lives the lord wants us to talk to him about things that being said to us and done to us a lot of time we don’t allow him to because we whether have a false teacher to let us think what we are doing is right. We aren’t 2 Timothy 4:3 For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear.

This is what most people want; they want their itchy ears to be scratched, they want people who will tell them their secret sin is okay to have, they want someone to tell them it's okay to read their bible sometime and to pray when they are feeling good. They want people to tell them what they are feeling is right, and I’m here to tell you that God word will tell you what you are doing is wrong; it will pierce your very soul, but if we block the word of God and we don’t read the word of God, we will always think what we are doing is right, and it isn’t.

*** Today, we looked over our week and what we studied. There is so much God has blessed us with to learn, and sometimes it's so much to learn; some things we don’t grasp because it's not our season, but our season could be learning something different. We must always ask God to teach us what he wants us to learn for that day or season. What is the lord telling you in this season? What is the lord trying to get you to see maybe to use more discernment, maybe to trust him more, maybe to let go of the sins you think are okay, but whatever it is, we must trust in God; a lot of us are not trusting because we are scared of what the lord is speaking to us, we can't allow what our flesh wants to do to stop us from connecting with God we can't allow our flesh to continue to rule over our lives because if we continue to live in this way we will always fall short of the glory of God.

Matthew 24:11 And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people.

Certain people will do certain things to lead us astray; we can't allow people to lead us away from what God has in instore for us; a lot of us allow this world to lead us away because it's easier than following God the word never said it would be easy it never said life is going to get easier as we go through it , it says it will be tough. Still, it's easier when we do it in his strength; we can do everything through Christ who strengthens us. If you are struggling, tell God today so he can help you with what you have going on and help you see him through it all.

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

======================

PRAYER

=====================

Heavenly Father, we thank you for today. We ask you to help us hear you when you speak. Lord, we ask you to give us grace and mercy as we go through it; lord, we love you so much and thank you for never leaving or forsaking us. Lord, we love you so much for everything. Lord, help us to use our discernment about false teachers. Lord, give us mercy and grace and a fresh anointing. Lord, help us treat others the way we want to be treated. Lord, we thank you and praise your name in Jesus' Name Amen

======================

REFERENCES

======================

+ Leviticus 19:18 You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

+ Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

+ Matthew 19:19 Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

======================

FURTHER READINGS

======================

Proverbs 23

James 2

1 Corinthians 2

John 21

Acts 16

======================

8 notes · View notes

sam-glade · 2 years ago

Text

Top 10 Character Essence

Tagged by the wonderful @writernopal here. Thank you💜

I'm leaving it as an open tag, because damn, this is a tough one. But if you choose to be tagged, please mention me - I want to see!

A challenge to give your Top 10 favourite characters, based on their ESSENCE. They have to be favourite characters that also have a deeper literary value, where you enjoy their specific role in the story, and this means that the list also should exclude characters that would normally count as favourites if for purely nostalgic reasons. They can be from film, tv, or written media, anything.

I feel like in each character I'm addressing only a small aspect of them that spoke to me, while they deserve their whole breadth to be appreciated.

I'm also doing my best not to fill this list with characters from Deep Space 9.

10. John Gaius (The Locked Tomb)

Back at home I told them, they want to call us a cult, let’s be a cult. It only takes a little bit of eyeliner and a couple capes.

He's god. He's a middle-aged man from New Zealand. He wants to be your friend. He'll let you call him 'teacher' until you're ready to call him 'lord'. He thinks he'd like to be your dad. Oh, and he spent the last ten thousand years building an empire that worships him because he's still messed up from how he became god in the first place.

(thank you @tisiphonewolfe for translating me flailing my arms in his direction into words)

9. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

"Maybe life has no equal trade, maybe you can give up all you got, and get nothing back."

A child who's committed the ultimate taboo in a desperate attempt to bring his mother back to life, and almost lost his little brother in the process. His story is that of doing his best to right the wrongs, and learning that not everything can be undone.

8. Frodo (The Lord of the Rings)

‘But this one is taller than some and fairer than most, and he has a cleft in his chin: perky chap with a bright eye.'

Beyond the fact that he is a simple person that the reader can see themselves in throughout the story, not a typical hero bound by destiny, the one aspect of him that resonated with me in particular is that he's described as different from other hobbits - both in terms of appearance and personality. Members of other races of Middle Earth look at him and see just another hobbit, but he doesn't quite belong among his neighbours.

7. Dr Julian Bashir (Deep Space 9)

"Causing people to suffer because you hate them is terrible... but causing people to suffer because you've forgotten how to care, that's really hard to understand."

Julian is the voice of kindness on the space station, even when faced with horrors of war and other atrocities. At the same time he's a prodigy who's outgrowing his prodigy phase.

6. Ash Lynx (Banana Fish)

"Stay with me... I won’t ask "forever." Just for now, Eiji."

Where do I even start with this one... Ash is a very hurt, very damaged teenager who's grown a shell to protect the last shred of himself from the world. Ash's life has been a string of traumatic events, teaching him over and over that nothing is permanent, and surviving is a constant struggle. He doesn't hope for a peaceful life, to him it's unthinkable - until Eiji comes into his life. However, he's come too late.

5. Shallan Davar (Stormlight Archive)

He saw it in her eyes. The anguish, the frustration. The terrible nothing that clawed inside and sought to smother her. She knew. It was there, inside. She had been broken. Then she smiled. Oh, storms. She smiled anyway.

Shallan turns her back on her past, and puts on a face that suits an occasion. Then another face that's more useful in a different situation. Then another, that keeps her safe in an ordeal. Until she forgets who she was under all the masks.

And yes, she still smiles.

(I sense a pattern here)

4. Elim Garak (Deep Space 9)

"Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak."

Spy-turned-tailor, living on a space station controlled by a country that his homeland has occupied in a long, bloody war. He's got a lot of baggage. He's got a lot of skills he'd rather not use again, but he does it nevertheless - for the friends? allies? he's made, who oppose his homeland. His character balances making new connections with the inability to escape his past.

3. Baru Cormorant (The Traitor Baru Cormorant)

“I have committed a terrible crime,” she said, voice firm, controlled, machined to a polish. “So terrible that I feel I can do anything, commit any sin, betray any trust, because no matter what ruin I make of myself, it cannot be worse than what I have already done.”

A brilliant woman who set her mind on dismantling a tyrannical empire from within, by climbing up its ranks, and with each push forward loses a part of herself.

2. Maedhros (The Silmarillion)

Maedhros did deeds of surpassing valour, and the Orcs fled before his face; for since his torment upon Thangorodrim his spirit burned like a white fire within, and he was as one that returns from the dead.

Doomed by his father's pride, bound by an oath that forced him to slay his kin, forgiven by his childhood friend, and trying to do right by the people he'd hurt, advocating for peace and restraining his brothers' tempers. He keeps trying. Leading their armies into the Battle of Unnumbered Tears, only to face dreadful defeat. And be left only with his younger brother and the oath still unfulfilled.

1. Jadzia Dax (Deep Space 9)

"You have to realise, there's some things in life you can't control. And one of them is me."

A beauty that isn't just feminine, a strength that isn't just masculine, balancing wisdom with spontaneity. She's her own person, and I love her for it.

I feel like this list is missing another good villain...

#character essence tag #tag game #writeblr tag game

11 notes · View notes

ubeerosophy · 1 year ago

Text

As You Are He

My favorite time to drive is generally between 4 and 6 am. There is hardly any other traffic on the road during those hours which means less opportunity for me to get upset at the way other people are driving.

A while back I picked up a young man from an industrial setting in the wee hours of the morning.

People aren’t usually talkative at that time of day, especially during the week. The reason for this is that they are either bracing themselves for a full day of work or are getting off a long night of work. This particular gentleman, however, was friendly and open to conversation. It’s obvious when someone is willing to talk. Generally, after they get in and I tell them good morning, they’ll ask a question. Something like, “How’s your morning going?” or “Gotten many rides this morning?” Without exception I will pounce on the opportunity to converse. I have an innate intrigue with everyone and their backstory, but conversation also makes the ride go exceptionally faster.

We only talked for a few moments before it became obvious we had some things in common. Namely the way we look at and approach life. That is to say curiously, if not suspiciously. If I remember right, it progressed quickly to some half joking reference by one of us to the movie “The Matrix.” The Matrix, I’ve found, is a fairly accurate barometer for feeling someone out. If they prefer to wade in the shallower end of the pool, they’ll laugh and either fall silent or just change the topic. If, however, they spend any amount of time questioning the nature of reality and what we think we know about any and everything, they’ll seize the opportunity to dive headfirst into the deep end. This man chose to dive.

After I touched on some things I’m currently into and learning about, he asked me if I’d ever heard of the “egg theory.” Shaking my head, I looked in the rear-view mirror and told him no. What he explained sounded something like a form of reincarnation, but given that it had its own name and some random stranger was sitting in my back seat talking about it, I assumed there had to be more to it. As soon as he got out of the car, roughly fifteen minutes from the time I picked him up, I typed “egg theory” into the notes on my phone so that I could revisit it. A few days later I remembered the conversation and typed it into google.

“The Egg” is a short story written by a man named Andy Weir in 2009. It’s a very brief read, and presented primarily in the form of a dialogue between you and God, immediately following your death in a car accident. I don’t want to spoil every detail, but it plays with the notion that every time we die, we are reborn into another person that has or will exist throughout history. It doesn’t happen in chronological order, and the process will continue until you have lived every life that has ever existed on earth, accumulating their experiences and knowledge in the process. You are unaware this is happening while you are “alive,” and once you are done, you will ascend to a deity like status. In essence, the universe is an egg, whereby we are growing and will eventually hatch into another form of being.

A couple blogs ago, I referenced near death experiences, a topic I will likely revisit often. One of the reoccurring themes on the other side in NDE’s is the discovery of an interconnectedness we all have. The first couple times I heard this mentioned in an experiencer’s account, I thought it sounded overly cliché, but the more NDE’s I listened to, the more I began hearing it from a diverse group of individuals with varying pre-death beliefs and backgrounds. They weren’t just saying actions have a “ripple effect,” but that it goes even deeper than that. Like on a molecular or quantum level. According to these people, who have legitimately died and been uploaded with knowledge we seem to have once possessed and will possess again, when we do something to someone else, we are literally doing it to ourselves. It would seem that at least unintentionally, that’s the notion that the author of the “egg theory” is toying with. Everyone operating in that system is just a different version of the same person, so we are constantly interacting with ourselves. Whatever you do to someone else, you are literally doing to yourself.

For even the most zealous person of faith, in a monotheistic sense, this isn’t incompatible with their belief system. Not necessarily the egg theory itself, but the concept of literal interconnectedness. If you believe in a singular creator, then we all derive from the same source. No matter what we are made of or instilled with, our origin is the same. That’s true for pretty much any atheistic belief as well. Whether you consider us star dust or the breath of God, we each derived from the same place.

This concept can be found across all cultures and religions throughout time. In a philosophical sense, it may be referred to as the “Ethics of Reciprocity,” but one popular version of it is called “The Golden Rule.” It goes, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” While those words are valuable council even on a surface level, they take on another layer of meaning when one applies the aforementioned concepts. You are literally doing unto yourself anytime you do unto another. Even if just in a quantum sense, whereby we all originate from a singular source and retain a level of energy connectedness, we are still doing to ourselves on some physical level.

The ego seems to be a major problem for the ethics of reciprocity. I often wonder why we were allowed to have it, or why it was allowed to take the dominant role in our lives and behavior that it does. The ego seeks to serve the self, and approaches life from the vantage point of the individual’s wants and needs. That is, unless that’s the point of life. To identify the ego as problematic and then work to suppress it for the good of the collective. It seems so obvious.

Unless, of course, the universe is just an egg.

The UBeerOsopher

And now…a haiku:

if all that matters

could be fit into an egg

we’d just scramble it

“We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.” ~ Carl Jung

3 notes · View notes

fairyhaos · 1 year ago

Text

🎐 asked:

hi hi i was the wind chime anon lol🎐

(also help this is my 3rd attempt at sending this ask im gonna cry pls ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ there is an option to add a read more block but i think i know now that it doesn't even work and tumblr just refuses to send my ask instead of doing its job </3 im now sending this without adding the read more thingy and i hope it works !! anyway)

exactly ! ! the colours don't always make sense,,, when i told my friends that i see shua as silver they were all pretty surprised and said that it made no sense lmao </3 most of them associated either beige or a pastel shade with him but when they read the piece they said silver suited him rly well ! ! so yea i just wish that wine red could explain other aspects of cheol's personality but that's fine i think it still turned out pretty okay ! :) anway, here's hannie's:

🌸jeonghan embodies a captivating hue of pastel pink, reminiscent of blooming cherry blossoms swaying with grace. with each gentle touch, he reveals a tender and nurturing energy, akin to the caress of velvety rose petals. his essence evokes a comforting warmth, reminiscent of basking in the golden embrace of a sunset. it resonates with the soothing melodies of a music box, wrapping hearts in comforting lullabies, inviting tranquillity. his presence is akin to stepping into a sanctuary adorned with ethereal pink flowers, their petals exuding a gentle fragrance that calms the senses and invites tranquillity.

jeonghan's pastel pink essence weaves a tapestry of kindness and compassion. like a gentle rain shower, it brings peace and serves as a haven of solace for weary hearts. it embodies the tenderness of a mother's touch and envelops others in a warm embrace, whispering words of encouragement and uplifting spirits. pastel pink also echoes his joyful giggle, radiating lightheartedness. his soul dances with the whimsy of swirling cotton candy clouds, embodying a playful nature that evokes the mischievous spirit of a sprite, twinkling mischief in his eyes.

within the realm of pastel pink, jeonghan's cleverness shines like a glimmering gem. it's an intelligence that dances with wit, unveiling unexpected perspectives and surprises. his being is a vibrant carousel of laughter and delight. jeonghan's playful nature and cleverness add a lively dimension, like vibrant brushstrokes on a canvas, infusing life with a dazzling hue. it is the sparkle in his gaze, the infectious laughter that bubbles from his lips, and the clever quips that dance with whimsy, creating a captivating aura where tenderness and cleverness coexist in perfect harmony.🌸

i like this one sm better !! idk i just like the imagery better and omg i love the fact that there's a connection to light and colours in both of our pieces ? ! i think we both highlight his gentle and nurturing nature and view him as someone who possesses beauty, strength, and tenderness. i love that <3 lmk what you think ? :3

ah at least they tried to think if the colours made sense! if i tell my friends the colours i think they are, they go 'oh cool' and carry on with their day help

and now jeonghan's oh my gosh this is so sweet and pretty.

the softness of rose petals??? that is so jeonghan oml. and the whimsical nature of his essence, and also the comfort and delicacy and brightness that's captured in everything that's pastel pink? that's brilliant. 'where tenderness and cleverness coexist in perfect harmony' is just jeonghan exactly. that's so sweet.

how was it, finding jeonghan's colour for you? because for me... oh my god it was so hard. i swear i was on pinterest for a solid half hour just staring at pictures of his face because he kept on changing.

with idols, sometimes they're really easy to figure out bc they have this really powerful presence, that allows me to see their colour easily, but most of the time because they keep changing appearance and hair colour and style, it's so difficult to unpeel all those layers and get to them.

jeonghan was so hard for me, and i think it's bc this little brat is everything at once and he didn't want me to find that out haha

i picked diamond in the end, because there's no other way for me to describe it because he really is everything, just like you described: the tenderness and the intelligence and playfulness and softness. he's multifaceted, he's multicoloured, but he's also clear and transparent and the smooth feeling of diamond so i went with that.

i think it's really cool how we picked different colours and yet still came to the same conclusion with the description! it just shows how jeonghan fits everything, haha

#fairyhaos.answers #WOW this was long #the ask and also my answer pls so i copied the ask and just answered it like this ^^#anon ask #ask #🎐.anon <3 #lovely anon <3

6 notes · View notes

nicklloydnow · 2 years ago

Text

“"You knew it was hopeless," said Andrew Maness as he stood over the book that lay on the desk, glaring at the pages of old handwriting in black ink. "You told me to always read the right words and to always have them in my mind, but you knew I would read the wrong words. You knew what I was. You knew that such a being existed only to read the wrong words and to want to see those words written across the sky in a black script. Because you yourself were the author of the book. And you brought your son to the place where he would read your words. This town was the wrong place, and you knew it was the wrong place. But you told yourself it was the only place where what you had done . .. might be undone. Because you became afraid of what you and those others had done. For years you were intrigued by the greatest madness, the most atrocious secrets and schemes, and then you became afraid. What did you discover that could make you so afraid, you and the others who were always intrigued by the monstrous things you told of, that you sang of, in the book? You preached to me that all change is grotesque, that the very possibility of change is evil. Yet in the book you declare 'transformation as the only truth' - the only truth of the Tsalal, that one who is without law or reason. 'There is no nature to things,' you wrote in the book. 'There are no faces except masks held tight against the pitching chaos behind them.' You wrote that there is not true growth or evolution in the life of this world but only transformations of appearance, an incessant melting and molding of surfaces without underlying essence. Above all you pronounced that there is no salvation of any being because no beings exist as such, nothing exists to be saved - everything, everyone exists only to be drawn into the slow and endless swirling of mutations that we may see every second of our lives if we simply gaze through the eyes of the Tsalal.

"Yet these truths of yours that you kept writing in your book cannot be the reason you became afraid, for even while your voice is somber or trembling to speak of these things, your phrases are burdened with fascination and you are always marvelling at the grand mockery of the universal masquerade, the 'hallucination of lies that obscures the vision of all but the elect of the Tsalal.' It is something of which you will not speak or cannot speak that caused you to become afraid. What did you discover that you could not face without renouncing what you and those others had done, without running to this town to hide yourself in the doctrines of a church that you did not truly uphold? Did this knowledge, this discovery remain within you, at once alive and annihilated to your memory? Was it this that allowed you to prophesy that the people of Moxton would return to their town, yet prevented you from telling what phenomenon could be more terrible than the nightmare they had fled, those grotesque changes which had overtaken the streets and houses of this place?”

“"As a young man," the Reverend Maness explained to his son, who was now a young man himself, "I thought myselt an adept in the magic of the old gods, a communicant of entities both demonic and divine. I did not comprehend for years that I was merely a curator in the museum where the old gods were on display, their replicas and corpses set up in the countless galleries of the invisible . . . and now the extinct. I knew that in past millennia these beings had always replaced one another as each of them passed away along with the worlds that worshipped them. This mirror-like succession of supreme monarchs may still seem eternal to those who have not sensed the great shadow which has always been positioned behind every deity or pantheon. Yet I was able to sense this shadow and see that it had eclipsed the old gods without in any way being one of their kind. For it was even older than they, the dark background against which they had forever carried on their escapades as best they could. But its emergence into the foreground of things was something new, an advent occurring not much more than a century ago. Perhaps this great blackness, this shadow, has always prevailed on worlds other than our own, places that have never known the gods of order, the gods of design. Even this world had long prepared for it, creating certain places where the illusion of a reality was worn quite thin and where the gods of order and design could barely breathe. Such places as this town of Moxton became fertile ground for this blackness no one had ever seen.

"Yes, it was not much more than a century ago that the people of this world betrayed their awareness of a new god that was not a god. Such an awareness may never be complete, never reach a true agony of illumination, except among an elect. I myself was slow in coming to it. The authenticity of my enlightenment may seem questionable and arbitrary, considering its source. Nonetheless, there is a tradition of revelation, an ancient protocol, by which knowledge of the unseen is delivered to us through inspired texts. And it is by means of these scriptures dictated from beyond that we of this world may discover what we have not and cannot experience in a direct confrontation. So it was with the Tsalal. But the book that I have written, and which I have named Isalal, is not the revealed codex of which I am speaking. It is only a reflection, or rather a distillation, of those other writings in which I first detected the existence, the emergence, of the Tsalal itself.

"Of course, there have always been writings of a certain kind, a primeval lore which provided allusions to the darkness of creation and to monstrosities of every type, human and inhuman, as if there were a difference. Something profoundly dark and grotesque has always had a life in every language of this world, appearing at intervals and throwing its shadow for a moment upon stories that try to make sense of things, often confounding the most happy tale. And this shadow is never banished in any of these stories, however we may pretend otherwise. The darkness of the grotesque is an immortal enigma: in all the legends of the dead, in all the tales of creatures of the night, in all the mythologies of mad gods and lucid demons, there remains a kind of mocking nonsense to the end, a thick and resonant voice which calls out from the heart of these stories and declares: 'Still I am here.' And the idiot laughter of that voice - how it sounds through the ages!

This laughter often reaches our ears through certain stories wherein this grotesque spirit itself has had a hand. However we have tried to ignore the laughter of this voice, however we have tried to overwhelm its words and protect ourselves by always keeping other words in our minds, it still sounds throughout the world.

"But it was not much more than a century ago that this laughter began to rise to a pitch. You have heard it yourself, Andrew, as you furtively made incursions into my library during your younger days, revelling in a Gothic feast of the grotesque. These books do not hold an arcane knowledge intended for the select few but were written for a world which had begun to slight the gods of order and design, to question their very existence and to exalt in the disorders of the grotesque. Both of us have now studied the books in which the Tsalal was being gradually revealed as the very nucleus of our universe, even if their authors remained innocent of the revelations they were perpetrating. It was from one of the most enlightened of this sect of Gothic storytellers that I took the name of that one. You recall, Andrew, the adventures of an Arthur Pym in a fantastic land where everything, people and landscape alike, is of a perfect blackness - the Antarctic country of Tsalal. This was among the finest evocations I had discovered of that blackness no one had ever seen, a literary unveiling of being without soul or substance, without meaning or necessity - not a universe of design and order but one whose sole principle was that of senseless transmutation. A universe of the grotesque. And from that moment it became my ambition to invoke what I now called the Tsalal, and ultimately to effect a worldly incarnation of the thing itself.”

#ligotti #thomas ligotti #tsalal #darkness #noctuary #cult

4 notes · View notes

moreapples · 4 days ago

Text

After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up before them and said: “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss. But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island.”

—Acts 27:21-26

~~~~~

Shipwrecked

By Jennifer Kane

There are visions that feel like nightmares,

yet they lead to heavenly victory.

This journey feels like one of those—

a stormy path, ordained by God.

For the dream of the warrior

is to go wherever the Spirit leads.

Would you boldly set sail,

knowing a shipwreck is certain?

This is a romance with the Divine,

a life where the wreckage refines.

So I run, like Paul, toward the storm,

toward the broken vessel that awaits me.

I will fight the good fight,

endure the suffering,

if it gives another a chance—

a chance to know the God

who seeks the lost,

and rescues lives wrecked by sin.

~~~~~

Scripture: Acts 27:21-26

Paul, a prisoner on a doomed ship in the midst of a violent storm, became a beacon of hope to those around him. After days of chaos and despair, he boldly stood and shared God’s promise: “There will be no loss of life among you, but only of the ship.” Despite the dire circumstances, Paul’s confidence rested not in human solutions but in God’s sovereignty.

Notice how Paul begins by acknowledging the crew’s mistakes, yet he quickly shifts focus to encouragement: “Take heart, men, for I believe God that it will be just as it was told me.” This is the essence of faith — believing God’s word even when everything around you says otherwise.

Paul’s courage stemmed from two truths:

1. He belonged to God: In the storm, Paul remembered that he was not his own. He belonged to a faithful and loving God who had never forgotten him.

2. He served God: Paul knew his purpose was greater than his circumstances. Even in chains, he prayed for the safety of others and shared God’s message of hope.

Paul’s faith didn’t erase the storm; it gave him the strength to endure it. He trusted God’s promise and acted as a leader, encouraging others to do the same. What storms are you facing? Remember, God’s word is trustworthy even when circumstances feel hopeless. Trust in His promises and take heart.

Like Paul, labor in prayer for those around you — believers and non-believers alike. Your prayers can impact more lives than you realize. When you experience God’s peace in your storms, share that hope with others. Your testimony could inspire faith in those struggling to believe.

Identify a promise of God that speaks to your current situation. Write it down, meditate on it, and pray for the faith to declare, “I believe God.” Share this promise with someone who may need encouragement today.

~~~~~

Father God, in the storms of life, when the waves rise high and the winds threaten to overwhelm, remind me that I belong to You. You are the God who speaks peace to the seas and calms the chaos with a word. Help me to trust You completely, even when the path ahead is unclear.

Father, as I face these rough seas, I lift up my heart to You. Please strengthen me and sustain me. Fill me with Your courage when fear presses in and with hope when despair knocks at the door. Let Your Spirit be my guide and my comforter.

I pray especially for my dad, who is in the hospital. Surround him with Your healing presence. Grant the doctors wisdom, steady hands, and clear minds. May Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard his heart and mine.

Strengthen my faith, Lord, so that I may not only endure this trial but also reflect Your love and encouragement to those around me. Help me to stand firm in the knowledge that You are faithful and that Your promises never fail. Be my anchor, my shelter, and my strength, and may Your name be glorified even in the midst of this storm.

In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

#bible verse #daily bible verse #poetry #daily devotional #my poetry #book of acts

1 note · View note

halimpark7 · 14 days ago

Text

If there was nothing wrong with my life. &

I got everything Ive ever wanted...

I still wouldn't want to leave my bed,

put on clothes,

be a productive member of society.

No matter what I did, it will still be a struggle.

'Ok, it's going to be a fun day (visualization of the one thing that makes the day worth it)

*internal energetic heave, as I swing my legs and tighten my abdomen, as I throw my body in a sitting position*

'get your fat ass up....'

Does that make me a brat? Maybe.

If I don't wake in the stillness of your arms, your gentle quiet 'I'm still sleeping' breathing, your beard scratching some part of my body, your skin comfortably or even saran wrapped uncomfortablely to mine.

The smell of you in the mornings. Your essence. The smell of you being comfortable on your pillows. The way you sleep.

Without you.

I don't want to function. I don't want to "get up". Bc I didn't really get to rest. You weren't next to me, I wasn't next to you.

That's probably bratty. But it's how I feel.

I've always been this way.

Since grade school.

A book cuddled next to me, a queen size bed bought on discount, blood stains on my favorite thick comforter. One that's slightly cool to the touch. Never wanting to wake up and leave the warm spot my body heat generated.

And now.

Gravity, consciousness, alertness. Human doing. Money. Anxiety.

Without you, deadly sin Sloth was my only comfort. No one's beating me anymore. Physically forcing my adrenaline to rise, blood to pump. So I don't want to get up. I don't feel like it.

I don't want life without you. I don't want to wake up without you. Even when I'm struggling in a van next to a perfectly fine person, the struggle is the resistance I need to not be a lazy piece of shit. I have excuses. I can't be a productive member of society, I live in a van, my roommate needs a fully functioning person. I need to handle my problems without avoidance, today/now! so that my life moves.

Vanlife / My life is hard/ my depression is heavy.

~ blah blah blah. ~

But even if my life was perfect .

If there was nothing wrong with my life. & I got everything Ive ever wanted...

I still wouldn't want to leave my bed,

put on my clothes,

be a productive member of society....

And it's all your fault.

You are what I've been missing.

Where I've been visiting during the hours of 4-6am, when I go to sleep around 3:30a or even 7p.

You are my rest, my battery, my dopamine. My missing piece/ (peace).

And this is why I love you. You exist. You're everything. All the good parts of everybody whose abused me. All the sweet guy parts I initially fell in love with in every relationship. But I don't want to abuse you. Just annoy you to love me more. Be the only girl you fantasize about. Tell me that you drool with the idea of me. Smelling me, tasting me. Living life beside me.

I'm no good without you. I'm half a machine.

Just another zombie, minutes away from consuming, chewing, using, and abusing anybody for my emotional needs of the moment.

I'm a monster without you. Id rather be a nothing, than a something destined for hell. This way I atleast struggled through purgatory. Felt the feelings. Lived the full range of emotions. Waited for inspiration. Begged for you to love me. Paid back in suffering how much I've stolen self worth, confidence, kindness of those poor fools who loved fucking me.

I never understood my dad. After the years of using me, touching my body, squeezing my nipples, cupping my ass, fighting with me physically and verbally. He told me he never loved me....

And I think after Holly I understand. He was getting his emotional needs met.

Feeling someone else through me.

Jealous that I loved God more and that God loved me. He copied all the things I did in my performances. Years after I did it.

So I was Holly then, I am my father now....

You always cannibalize the person you're stealing from. And you never know it in the moment. The dangers of being a "leader". Cannibals.

Hillary should have been an actor. Her dramatic need for vengeance and theatrics would have been better received. . .

People would be less crazy if they weren't so scared of being 100% honest and vulnerable. It's way easier than having Holly scream at you where you suck, years before you can understand it.

0 notes

krs724490 · 16 days ago

Text

11.9.2024

over the past few days feeling like the vision got derailed and tainted by impure intention. If I am going to do this with him I want it to come from a grounded, fresh, genuine place. A place that stays true to the essence of the idea. Today I questioned if I could hold that integrity or if I am too bound up in the ego of the result. How to end up on top. It's not about winning. Its about approaching with maturity, honesty, integrity and being open to any result. If he were to call it off, if I could just look at him and say "ok." end of sentence. it was a lightly held idea with no pressure behind it.

I would love to set an intention if we were to go on a date, to open it by honoring new beginnings and emphasizing looking at the situation with new eyes while honoring what's coming up for us in regards to the old.

I'm picking up on the energy of no one thinking this was a good idea. it was hard to talk to gabby about it. but at the end of the day, no one knows but us. I trust myself to enter into the agreement whole heartedly. To take some time over the next 2 weeks to really put him aside and pour energy into work and school. To establish the foundation I will be working with, with him being on the back burner. To channel the energy of independence and faith. To keep burning things and to most of all trust myself to be able to hold and carry the vision. Right now I am not ready to put him down. There is something in me that is holding on. I cannot tell if it is unnecessary clinging. It very well might be and then everyone in my life can tell me "I told you so." Just let me live in this beautiful delusion a little while longer if that's what it is. Part of me wants to pry open the little crack that says maybe this could work. Even when everything is screaming no at the top of its lungs.

I feel like I'm riding a sinking ship. and insisting to everyone that somehow it will stay afloat. my intention is to set it down and shift focus. god please help me. I also can see how I am so individually focused right now and I want to shift my attention outward. not just individual healing, but creating containers for us all to heal and hold. much appreciation and gratitude for julien, mo, and tanya. more brain space to these ideas. to these people. to myself. who I can see growing and holding my seat the more often I show up. thanks be to god.

0 notes

nightguide · 25 days ago

Text

NOVIGGA'S ASTROWICCAS JAMONTHLY

SUN. RISING MOON NN

ARIES SUN: YOU'RE GONNA MAKE SURE YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR THEORIES NOW IN OBSERVATION

DO: EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE LOVED WHOLLY

FUCK UP: YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO INTERVENE IN ON YOUR 'PRIVATE SITUATIONS IN YOUR HEAD' (BULLSHIT)

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU BELIEVING IN A GOD

ARIES MOON: RECITE YOUR AYAH OR..-

DO: NOTHING, YOU FUCKED UP

FUCK UP: PRIDE IN YOUR HEART MORE

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOUR MOM IS ON TV

ARIES RISING: YOU RELATE TO SHARPAY EVANS THAT EVEN NOW, A'KHAIR THAT ASHLEY TISDALE IS NOW GABRIELLA MONTEZ TO YOU

DO: EVERYTHING

FUCK UP: PINK LOGIC HAS A CODE WORD NOW

WHAT THE FUCK?: DISABLEDS TALK BECAUSE OF YOU

NORTH NODE: IF YOU DO IT ONE MORE TIME

DO: YOURSELF A FAVOUR

FUCK UP: LISTENING

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU WATCHING THE GIRL DIE INSIDE YOUR HEAD, BITCH U THE REASON WHY

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: ARE YOU OKAY???

2H: SHUT THE FUCK UP

3H: WHAT DAVID BOWIE SONG ARE YOU TODAY?

4H: ASSHOLE TECHNIQUES ARE FOR YOU NOW

5H: YOU'RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM NOW

6H: GO TO HELL RIGHT NOW

7H: DUMB AS FUCK, PROVE ME WRONG (AND YOU KNEW WHO)

8H: GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR HOME, LIKE EVERYBODY'S ASKING YOU THE SCUFF ON YOUR LAMINATED FLOORING IS NOT VIABLE FOR AN ANSWER LIKE 'I GOT INFESTED WITH SATANIC DEVICES (SHIFTS BLAME EXCLUSIVELY ON TECH)' PERSONAL, HUH

9H: LITERALLY DIE OFF THE PLANET

10H: UR SID FROM TOY STORY AND I AM GONNA WORD YOUR FINAL JUDGEMENT WITH THE PLUSHIES: 'YOU AINT GONNA LIVE FOR LONG, ESE'

11H: YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY

12H: NOBODY'S GONNA BELIEVE YOU

TAURUS SUN: *CONFUSED AQUARIAN ASTROLOGER DOESNT GET YOUR GAMES* ...WHY SHOULD THE UNIVERSE SUPPORT YOUR FATASS LOGIC THAT YOU MADE KEANU REEVES PURE BY 'LIVING' AND .... Y. YOU.. YOU'RE THERE. SATAN. IBLEES. PET SEMETARY. YOU CAUSED REGINA GEORGE TO BE THE BAD GUY WHEN NOBODY UNDERSTOOD YOU NIGGAS MADE THINKING THE AIR SIGN SCENARIO IN MEAN GIRLS GONE TO HELL AND BACK FOR YOU????????

DO: UH, NOW UR POSSESSED. *IN DISGUST* UR REGINA GEORGE, U KNEW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT... UH... AVOID THAT

FUCK UP: DO A REGINA GEORGE

WHAT THE FUCK?: *IS ACTUALLY CADY HERON IN EVERY MULTIVERSE SITUATION AGAINST A RACHEL MCADAMS THEORY NOW* WHO WON, BITCHES

TAURUS MOON: U DONE IT, U LIVE IT

DO: EVERYTHING YOU'RE TOLD OR WHAT YOU READ THAT YOUR TUMMY SAYS 'ITS TRUE'

FUCK UP: SPANISH LYRICS CURSE YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: U RELATED TO SID FROM ICE AGE MORE PREMATURELY THAN EVER (LIKE HE WAS YOUR LIFE TIL NOW)

TAURUS RISING: EAT FOOD

DO: CELEBRATE EVERYTHING YOU THINK OF

FUCK UP: EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT (COMING FROM THE CAPRICORN PLUTO ASTROLOGER FANDOM)

WHAT THE FUCK?: STRESS IS NORMAL NOW BECAUSE OF YOU

NORTH NODE: YOUR DATE WITH THE DEVIL ENDED, ADMIT THAT

DO: WALK AWAY WITH WHAT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU

FUCK UP: TIMING

WHAT THE FUCK?: BE YOURSELF

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: IF WORDS HURT YOU, THEN YOU DO

2H: UR THE REASON

3H: MAKE IT HAPPEN OR DEAD

4H: I AM ONTO YOU

5H: YOU READ THE OCCULT CURSED BOOK, HAVENT YOU. NOW DWELL ON THAT AND TRY TO FORGET

6H: MEDICINES IN FOOD IS YOU

7H: JOY IS OF THE ESSENCE

8H: DONT HAVE SEX ONLINE, YOU A PEDO IF YOU DO

9H: WAKE THE FUCK UP NEO

10H: I KID YOU NOT

11H: TALK MORE OFTEN

12H: STOP LISTENING TO ANSON SEABRA

GEMINI SUN: YOU'RE LIKE AQUARIUS NOW

DO: EVERYTHING TO KEEP AQUAS HAPPY

FUCK UP: FORGET ABOUT THEM

WHAT THE FUCK?: U BELIEVING IN THEM FOR PEOPLE SITUATIONS THAT DESPERATELY MADE THEM THINK OF YOU AS NEANDERTHALS (YOU'LL BE TAUGHT THE HARD WAY IF YOU STICK WITH IT

GEMINI MOON: RETARDS

DO: MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY BY BEING YOU

FUCK UP: WELL YOU'RE GONNA DIE EITHER WAY, SO LIVE IT LIKE YOUR LAST BUT YOUR FIRST. SO LET THEM GO AND YOU KNEW WHO

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU KNOW LIFE TOO WELL BUT YOU'RE AFRAID OF __________

GEMINI RISING: GUILT TRIPPING, I SEE

DO: TALK BACK ABOUT THE INFLATION PRICINGS ON CAPITALISM THAT IS NOT BENEFITTING THE CAUSE YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR

FUCK UP: YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU MADE BABIES LIE TO YOU

NORTH NODE: SATAN IS YOU

DO: LIE

FUCK UP: LIFE

WHAT THE FUCK?: DELETE YOUR SOCIAL ACCOUNTS

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: SIT WITH THAT THOUGHT

2H: DONT LISTEN TO MY MUSIC KNOWING MY ACCOUNT HAUNTS YOU (YOU'RE THE STALKER BROS)

3H: READ BOOKS

4H: LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ADVICE AND LEAVE IT ALONE

5H: STOP PLAYING WITH TODDLERS

6H: QUIT VAPING

7H: SELENATORS. SHUT UP

8H: YOU GET BETRAYED BY A SWIFTIE EVERYDAY, I DONT BLAME YOU

9H: TAYLOR SWIFT IS YOU

10H: WATCH THE WALKING DEAD

11H: RUBY ROSE KILLED YOUR SATIRE

12H: BROTHER, U AINT IN PRISONBREAK SO BE YOURSELF

CANCER SUNS: YOU NOT EVERYTHING, ACCEPT THAT SOONER THAN NEVER

DO: ACTIVATE YOUR SOCIALS AND STOP HIDING A LIE EVERYBODY KNOWS STRAIGHT AWAY

FUCK UP: BEING YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: LYING

CANCER MOONS: TAKE IN YOUR INTUITION IF BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IS SERIOUSLY MONOTONOUS IN EVERY INTERVIEW THAT YOU TOOK PERSONAL IS TRUE AND 'NOT JUST A LIE'

DO: FOLLOW RULES

FUCK UP: EMOTIONALLY LET GO EVEN IF BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH (FUTURE YOU) IS IGNORING YOUR ASS ASAP

WHAT THE FUCK?: FOLLOW HIS VOICE, AND YOU KNEW WHY I WAS THERE

CANCER RISINGS: LET IT GO (ELSA IS GLARING AT YOU IN HER DREAMS)

DO: ANIMATION NIGGAS GET UR ASS TO WORK (PIXAR DICKHEADS)

FUCK UP: BELIEVING

WHAT THE FUCK?: 'SOMEBODY IS GOING TO SAVE YOU'

NORTH NODE: SIMPSONS CONTROVERSY BY SOCIAL BELIEF MADE YOU THE REASON WHY THEY HATE YOU, SO YOU'LL BE FALLING OFF LIKE FLIES BY THE THOUGHT OF IT AND YOU KNEW WHERE IT WOULD GO

DO: WRITE

FUCK UP: SENTENCES

WHAT THE FUCK?: PROCRASTINATE

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: ICE AGE FANDOM

2H: RIO FANDOM (MOVIE)

3H: CINEMA NIGGAS

4H: MOVIE WHORES

5H: JOHN CENA WANNABES

6H: FERDINAND FANDOM (MOVIE)

7H: ACTUALLY CHUCK FROM PUSHING DAISIES

8H: DUBAI ILLUMINATI WICCAS

9H: JAY-Z EMPIRE STATE OF MIND EARWORMS

10H: CONCRETE JUNGLE WET DREAM TOMATO OVERTHINKERS

11H: TECH ITSELF

12H: GOOGLE PIXEL USERS

LEO SUNS: TODAY, IM SATAN. GO DO IT FOR ME

DO: GO SUICIDE, ITS YOUR PARADE NOW

FUCK UP: MODESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOUR GRANDMA FROM YOUR MOMMY'S SIDE HATES YOU FOR THE GORI AT THE BACK SHE REPLACED YOU WITH, NOW CRY FOR THE QUR'AN YOU'RE HOLDING FINALLY MANIFESTED DUST

LEO MOONS: ONCOMING END TIMES SIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE, TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT AND NOT SHARIA ACCOUNT ORDERS (YOUR GRANDMA WANTS TO UPDATE HER PHONE BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO 'MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING' ON HER ASS FOR ONE LAST TIME OR ELSE YOUR PHONE KABOOM AN UR ISIS TERRORIST WORTHY OF ATTENTION)

DO: REFUND THAT PIXEL DEVICE YOU GOT FOR FREE

FUCK UP: JONAS BROTHERS BROKE UP IS THE BIGGEST IF THAT HAPPENED, NOW BLAME THAT ON NOT GIVING YOUR PARENTS 'THAT ONE DREAM COME TRUE'

WHAT THE FUCK?: LIES ARE TRUTHS NOW, DWELL ON YOUR PROCRASTINATION IN YOUR AQUARIUM PARADISE YOU LIKE TOO MUCH (AINT YOUR FAVOURITE ANYMORE)

LEO RISINGS: MODESTY IS RARE NOW

DO: LISTEN TO ANSON SEABRA MUSIC FOR QUALITY THINKING (U HIS DEMOGRAPHIC)

FUCK UP: SING

WHAT THE FUCK?: EX-JEFF BUCKLEY FANS ARE WELCOME HERE, SO NO HATE

NORTH NODE: IM SORRY AND ONLY YOU BELIEVE IT NOW, THIS AINT YOUR FAULT BUT I (AQUA ASTROLOGER + ESOTERIC RESEARCHER) HIT THE BLUNTEST TRUTHS OF MAKE DOING THAN BELIEVE CUZ WE KNOW THE SELF WORTH PROPAGANDA IS OVER (NEW BEGINNINGS) SO TAKE THIS EITHER WAY, IT CHANGES VIEWER POV ALTERATIONS ALTERNATIVELY BY BELIEF OF WORLD PEACE ONLY (IM A THREAT TO THE BAD GUYS WHO WANTED ME TO 'WORK FOR THEM' FOR NO PROFIT, JUST SLAVERY (LIFE ALGORITHM NOT MATCHING YOUR SELF WORTH AS IT SHOULD BE)

DO: GET UP AND MAKE IT HAPPEN BY YOUR WORLD BEING YOU, THE MAIN CASTING IS TRUE AND ITS LIFE LIKE YOU (ALGORITHM IS YOUR BESTIE THAN AGAINST YOU)

FUCK UP: NOT DOING WHAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE PHYSICALLY YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IF NOT DONE CORRECTLY BY MORAL INTUITION THAN LIFE ITSELF NOT TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY (BAD GUY IN FICTION RULED AS DEAD INDEFINATELY NO MATTER WHAT)

WHAT THE FUCK?: ITS NOT YOU, (TOWARDS THE MALE ASTROLOGER GOING WITH THE SHAMS AL-MA'ARIF LIFESTYLE: YOU'RE NOW DEAD TO SOCIETY, WELL FUCKING DONE)

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

2H: DEMI LOVATO FANBASE. FUCK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING TO ME SOONER

3H: KILL THE BITCH

4H: STOP READING MY FUCKING BLOG LIKE WITCHCRAFT, NIGGA I WILL GET EMINEM TO ARREST YOU. YOU NO DR. DRE

5H: GO WATCH 'WE ARE LADY PARTS'

6H: IGNORE YOUR INTUITION

7H: SLEEP FOR ONCE

8H: STOP PLAYING MARTYR

9H: A'KHEH, FUCKING LIE FOR ONCE

10H: GET UR ASS TO WORK

11H: TELL UR MUM U LOVE HER

12H: SHUT THE FUCKUP!!!!

VIRGO SUNS: AS LONG AS I KNOW, YOU GONNA DIE NOW IF YOU PAY UP

DO: PAY YOUR TAXES

FUCK UP: LOAN SHARKS, U BELIEVE IN ISLANDS

WHAT THE FUCK?: U KEANU REEVES

VIRGO MOONS: TERMINATOR LOGIC

DO: DUNUN DUHN DUHN DUHN (AN U INTUITIVELY KNEW)

FUCK UP: ARNIE IS HIM

WHAT THE FUCK?: PRISONBREAK LOGIC IS TRUE AND USED

VIRGO RISINGS: I HATE YOU NOW GO BACK TO WHEREISTAN

DO: WORK

FUCK UP: YOU THE IMMIGRANTS DONALD TRUMP WAS TALKING ABOUT

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU PLAYING PRETEND PODCASTS

NORTH NODE: THE WORLD STOPPED CUZ OF UR CONSTIPATION AND MADE YOUR ONCE ALLIES (AQUAS) CLEAN DIS SHIT UP FOR 'WORLD CAUSE' WHEN UR FATOHSS IS LYING ALL THE TIME THAT 1920'S CALLED TO ASK IF LEO NORTH NODES OKAY (THEY ASTRO FREAKS IN BED)

DO: BE A GOD

FUCK UP: LISTEN TO SHEIKH REEVES ON PODCAST

WHAT THE FUCK?: ONCOMING OF NEO IS IN DIVERGENT FANDOM, GO SUCK MY DEK

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: TRY ME (YOU THAT HOE IN MARENS FANDOM)

2H: PRETEND GHOST

3H: HIDEO KOJIMA ASSAULTED YOUR WORLDVIEW

4H: THAT MOTHERFUCKER THAT PISSED IN THE MASJID LITTLE BITCH U ARE

5H: IM IN YOUR HEAD LIKE RATATOUILLE

6H: U THE BITCH WORKING FOR ME FOR FREE

7H: TRAITORS IS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG

8H: ANNA WINTOUR DRUGLORDS NOW CHAPPELL ROAN FANS (U GUYS SAFE)

9H: MATT STONIE IS YOU, EAT ANYTHING

10H: ADMIT THAT YOU'RE WRONG ONLINE

11H: UR POLITICALLY CORRECT

12H: CRY UR BITCH ASS MOTHER DOESNT PERSONALLY WANT YOU IN WEDLOCK

LIBRA SUNS: FUCKING LET GO OF YOUR INTUITION (IN ARABIC ACCENT)

DO: LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE LAST TIME

FUCK UP: ARIANA GRANDE IS YOUR (RA), BITCH U ANNOYING AS FACK

WHAT THE FUCK?: EVER WORRY ABOUT GOING TOO FAR?

LIBRA MOONS: IMAM MICHAEL JACKSON, NOW TELL ME WHY DID BILLIE JEAN STOP BEING YOUR LOVER TO PAY FOR CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID YOU DID NOT WANT TO HAVE NOW BELIEVING YOU HAVE THAT KID WITH BILLIE JEAN, NOW WHY ARENT YOU NOT THERE FOR BILLIE JEAN IN REAL LIFE

DO: WHY ARE YOU LISTENING WHEN U SHOULD BE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT

FUCK UP: YOU.. AND BILLIE JEAN? ARE.. YOU MARRIED TO HER?

WHAT THE FUCK?: NOW TELL ME WHY YOU ACTING SO BAD TO BE WITH THE DEAD GUY WITHOUT YOUR MISSUS PAYING YOU CHILD SUPPORT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE SAID 'MY CHILD IS BILLIE JEAN BEING MY 'LOVER' AS IN 'BEST FRIEND' THAN BEING CONFUSED WITH THE LATTER (LATER IN LIFE)

LIBRA RISING: I HATE TO BE YOU RIGHT NOW

DO: READ THE QUR'AN IF ANYTHING AND MAKE YOURSELF BECOME A HAFIZ FOR FREE, STOP DELEGATING EVERYTHING

FUCK UP: YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: STARS LIED, NOW DAJJAL IS YOU

NORTH NODE: SCARY SHIT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN IF YOU INHALE AIR THIS TIME

DO: HELP A POOR MAN OUT

FUCK UP: BREATHE

WHAT THE FUCK?: U SMITH MOTHER BREATHING BAKED GOODS AND SUDDENLY DEAD BY THOUGHT (NOT YOU)

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: SAY THAT TO MY FACE.

2H: TOXIC NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS

3H: U GOT DOXXED

4H: UR NUDES ARE SENT TO THE WRONG MAN, SO USE THIS MONTH TO CLARIFY UR RULES OF SOCIAL HIERARCHIES AND PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE TV SHOW 'DYNASTY'

5H: FRESH PRINCE

6H: HALAL

7H: MEHBOOB

8H: CILLIAN MURPHY WEIRDOES

9H: U FORGETTING CUZ OF ME

10H: CUM IS EVERYWHERE

11H: U HAVE OCD

12H: U AINT FRIENDS WITH ME, IM SORRY FOR YOUR FUNERAL

SCORPIO SUNS: AREN'T YOU SHY

DO: WATCH WHAT I DO

FUCK UP: U BELIEVED IN JEHOVAH'S WITNESS LOGIC

WHAT THE FUCK?: I SINCERELY KNEW YOU

SCORPIO MOONS: U RESPONSIBLE

DO: WINONA RYDER, HUH

FUCK UP: STRANGER THINGS

WHAT THE FUCK?: LGBTQIA+ CURSED YOU

SCORPIO RISINGS: TAYLOR SWIFT LOGIC BIASED YOU

DO: MUFTI MENK FOR A FAVOUR

FUCK UP: WEED

WHAT THE FUCK?: CHARLES DARWIN OBEYED THE QUR'AN BECAUSE OF YOU

NORTH NODE: U GOOGLED WHAT DJINNS SPEAK IN AN NOW ITS UR HANDS THAT WENT TO SCHOOL ON 'HER' OWN

DO: MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

FUCK UP: *ARAB ACCENT HOCKING*

WHAT THE FUCK?: SOMEONE TOLD ME A FANSOHNS DID DIS TRICKERY, NOW LIE IN HIS MUSIC VIDEOS PAY NO RENT AND BE 'MASHAALLAH' LOGIC TO HIM BACK, THATS HIS REAL ESTATE PROFITED FOR A BUDAPEST HOTEL IN AMERICA (GUD COUNTRY, MASHAALLAH)

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: U DONT NEED MY ADVICE, GET OUT AND DO IT FOR YOURSELF (SHAMS AL MA-ARIF GRADUATE IN CHEMISTREE FOR FREE)

2H: PEE

3H: EAT SEAFOOD

4H: TALK TO YOUR WIFE ON THE PHONES OR THE INTERNET

5H: SKYPE A FUNERAL

6H: BETRAY THAT WICCAN ASS NIGGA

7H: JUST TELL ME YOU'RE THE GOOD GUY AND EVERYBODY HAS FUN

8H: STOP LIVING IN MY HOME FOR NO RENT JUST CRIME LOGIC (THEME TUNE BASTARDS)

9H: PALESTINIAN RULES NOW

10H: UR BANNED

11H: LEE PACE BLOCKED YOU

12H: NOT YOU

SAGITTARIUS SUN: STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL

DO: THAT

FUCK UP: THIS

WHAT THE FUCK?: GRANNY

SAGITTARIUS MOON: I WOULD KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP IF THAT MATTER DID NOT CONVERSE WITH YOU IN OLD AGE, LIKE THE MOST HELPFUL MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE WORLD, WHERE ARE YOU?

DO: CALL OUT BULLSHIT

FUCK UP: FORGIVING BUT NOTHING HAPPENS

WHAT THE FUCK?: DID YOU SEE RACHEL BERRY IN YOUR SLEEP? OR AM I THE CRAZY ONE

SAGITTARIUS RISING: SHY AWAY, THE AQUAS GOT U NOW

DO: WHAT YOU WANT

FUCK UP: FREDDIE MERCURY IS STABLE CUZ OF YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: AIDS, NOW EXPLAIN THAT WITHOUT YOU ENTITLING A RABBIT TO CURE PETA (CHARITY ORGANISATION)

NORTH NODE: DING DING BATS REEVES MURPHY BETA BOB NEO BUTTHOLE DANCING

DO: CRY

FUCK UP: DIE

WHAT THE FUCK?: DONT GO

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: TAKE INITIATIVE

2H: GO TO SLEEP

3H: HUG A STUFFED ANIMAL

4H: COUSIN MARRIAGE DIDN'T WORK OUT, DIDN'T IT?

5H: EVERYBODY KNOWS WHY YOU GHOSTED

6H: KLEPTOMANIAC GOT CALLED A JEW

7H: NAZI PHYSICS

8H: LITTLE MIX FANDOM NOW NEW LOVATICS

9H: PERRIE EDWARDS PSYCHOPATHS

10H: CBEEBIES MAFIA ENERGY

11H: ACTUALLY JOHN LEGUIZAMO

12H: BEE MOVIE INSOMNIACS

CAPRICORN SUN: JULIE ANDREWS NIGGAS

DO: TYPE ON YOUR PHONE

FUCK UP: WHISPERING IN ARABIC

WHAT THE FUCK?: INVENT

CAPRICORN MOON: STABLE MADE MOON NOW SATURN AND EVERYBODY STRESSED IN YOUR PRESENCE (ALLAH RIGHTS MADE YOU NEW USTAD AGAINST A GAY BOY REEVES PSYCHOLOGIC KILLING HIM IN HIS MASSJID AL-HARAM)

DO: MICHAEL JACKSON A FAVOUR

FUCK UP: PEAKY BLINDERS IDEAOLOGY

WHAT THE FUCK?: PINTEREST WHATSAPP

CAPRICORN RISING: 90'S KIDS HATE AND THEY'RE RIGHT BUT BROTHER, THEY'RE THE TIREDEST ARABIAN WISHLIST MADE FOR FREE AND NOW THEY GO CAPITALISM AND EVERYBODY HATES THEM, ASTAGHFIRULLAH

DO: DREAM OF BEING TUMBLR SHEIKH AN CELEBRITY POISON IS YOUR AYAH

FUCK UP: ANGELINA JOLIE'S DAD IS UGLIER THAN U, PROVE THAT WRONG

WHAT THE FUCK?: HOLES. THAT MOVIE WITH SHIA LA BEOUF QUR'AN IS YOUR INSTAS GRAM. NOW THAT WAS WHY U WEREN'T FAMOUS FOR 'MY MOM CREDIBILITY' OVER 9000 AND U GOT THE REFERENCE CUZ EVERYBODY LOVES IT, NOW READ SHAMS AL-MA'ARIF FOR FREE (AVAILABLE ON APP STORE)

NORTH NODE: PRICKS (EVEN I HATE U AS PRETEND ARABIC ACCENT SHEIKH U READ THIS IN)

DO: DAJJAL

FUCK UP: THE LONGEST YARD MOVIE IS PRETTY GOOD TO WATCH

WHAT THE FUCK?: NOUMAN ALI KHAN IS OBSESSED WITH YOU

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: GAIN WEIGHT

2H: ONE HOP THIS TIME,

3H: RIGHT FOOT LETS STOMP

4H: LEFT FOOT LET'S STOMP

5H: CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH

6H: TURN IT OUT, TO THE LEFT

7H: ONE HOP THIS TIME, RIGHT FOOT LET'S STOMP

8H: FREEZE, EVERYBODY CLAP YO HANDS

9H: HER NAME WAS LOLA, SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL

10H: WITH YELLOW FEATHERS IN HER HAIR

11H: TAKE IT BACK, NOW Y'ALL

12H: *THAT SCRATCH AFTER 'TAKE IT BACK, NOW Y'ALL'*

AQUARIUS SUN: FIFTH HARMONY: THATS MY GIRL PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD ALL DAY IS YOU CARRYING THE WORLD, NOW SHOW THAT SHIT OFF, YOU DESERVE THAT SMUG ERA NOW INFINITY

DO: BEYOND AMAZING, LANCELOT. BE LANCELOT, YOU DESERVED THAT FLEX HOLIDAY YOU BEEN DREAMING OF, YA SUCCEEDED VAGINOSIS CHEMISTRY WITH A Y

FUCK UP: YO EXES YOU CALULATE IN YO BLOHHHHHGGGGGGG

WHAT THE FUCK?: NOTHINS UP, ENJOY

AQUARIUS MOON: YOU DID IT, NOW U LIVE IT. ENJOY HAVING A REASON TO BREATHE AIR U ARE

DO: FUCKIN EVERYTHING

FUCK UP: BEAT UR EXES WITH AGORAPHOBIA AND GET USED TO IT (YOU HAVE)

WHAT THE FUCK?: U

AQUARIUS RISING: TELEPATH COMPLETE

DO: PSYCHOE

FUCK UP: UR MOMS HAPPENIS, SELL THAT

WHAT THE FUCK?: WILL SMITH IS UR BEST FRIEND. HE GETS U ANYTHING, JUST VIBE BY BEING

NORTH NODE: LIARS

DO: FUCK ALL

FUCK UP: SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS HAUNT

WHAT THE FUCK?: SPEAK IT IF YOU KNOW, THEN SAY IT 'IM THE DEVIL'

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: SELF RIGHTEOUS KNOW IT ALLS DO IT ALL FOR FUN AND THEY IS (ARIEQUARIUS)

2H: KILL YOURSELF

3H: ISTJ

4H: FRANK CASTLE JAMES INCORPORATION

5H: BOB THE BUILDER

6H: CBEEBIES PORNO

7H: LISTEN TO DEAN LEWIS ON REPEAT AND OSCILLATE ON YOUR LILITH PLACEMENT BEING A 'DAJJAL'

8H: DJINNS DONT. U ARE THO

9H: HELLO

10H: I ABBA HEART ATTACK

11H: STEWART FRANCIS

12H: DIDDY DICK AND DOM

PISCES SUN: BYE BYE LITTLE FISHY

DO: COOK

FUCK UP: WATCH PUSHING DAISIES

WHAT THE FUCK?: LEE PACE IS YOUR HUSBAND?

PISCES MOON: PURELY SAINT DAJJAL BUT ALSO A MAN WHORE WOMANISER WOMANISER WOMANISER WOMAN. ISER

DO: BRITAINS GOT TALENT

FUCK UP: DANCING WITH THE STARS

WHAT THE FUCK?: STRICTLY

PISCES RISING: SHAITAAN (RA)

DO: LIZARD LOGIC

FUCK UP: STARE

WHAT THE FUCK?: DRINK YOUR OWN PISS (WATER)

NORTH NODE: THE KID IS NOT MY SON

DO: BACK TO THE FUTURE

FUCK UP: STAND BY ME

WHAT THE FUCK?: DIRTY DANCING

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: U DRUGGED RIVER PHOENIX AT THAT VIPER CLUB DIDN'T YOU?

2H: UK WINTER IS YOUR FAVOURITE

3H: RACIST

4H: TOM HANKS LOGIC

5H: DANIEL CRAIG JAMES BOND IS GAY

6H: LANDLORD SMUGLORD DRUG ADDICT

7H: *BEATEN UP IN THE 80'S SHEIKH IDEAOLOGY*

8H: MY AUNTY TOLD STORIES ABOUT ANGELINA JOLIE ALWAYS WITH 'MAY ALLAH MAKE HER MUSLIM'

9H: NEW SWIFTIE

10H: DID YOU KNOW A LINNA RIAZ BY ANY CHANCE?

11H: DEMI LOVATO, GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREENS AND ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ONLINE, DUMBASS FUCK ADMIT YOUR CONSPIRACY IDEALS AND LEAVE IT ALL ALONE, STOP TALKING TO DJINN AND PRAY, TELL EVERYBODY YOU'RE MUSLIM AND BE OKAY WITH THAT, NOBODY IS A BIGGER HYPOCRITE THAN YOU KNOWING WHAT YOU ALREADY KNEW ABOUT THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT WHICH CHANGED FOR THE WORSE CUZ OF YOU, NOW TAKE A GLANCE AND OBEY THE DEAD AND STOP USING YOUR MANAGEMENT TO ILLUMINATE A CORPSE FOR 'CANCER RESEARCH' YOU GOT HOLD OF TAXIDERMY NOT FETISH REVIVAL AGAINST A SELENA GOMEZ (YOU MADE THAT PERSONAL, NOT ME) TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY

12H: DISNEY FANDOM KNOWING DEMI LOVATO ALL TOO WELL

NOTABLE ASPECTS GETTING THE HIT: JUDGEMENT DAY IS A MONTH OF PURITY, NOT QUANTITY

NOVEMBER'S THEMES:

SMWC: REPRESSED RAGE IS PRESENT

SH: YOU EXIST

SH8: SELF WORTH IS ELEVATED BY BELIEF IN ALGORITHMIC CHANCE AND IT'S TRUER NOW THAN FEBRUARY 2019

SCHIZOPHRENIA MADONNA'S WHORE COMPLEX:

ESPECIALLY YOU:

1H: SUNS OF BITCHES

8H: YOU STARTED IT

11H: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND MAKE YOURSELF SOME CHAPPATI

SUNS:

OPPOSING PLUTO MAKING YOU SLOWER BY FEELING

CONJUNCT MARS IS ABLE TO FORGET ABOUT LANGUAGE TOO SOONER THAN NEVER

TRINING JUNO GETS YOU IN THE ACT STRAIGHT AWAY BY THOUGHT

MOON:

TRINING JUPITER IS WHY YOU'RE SO OBESE

SQUARE NEPTUNE IS YOU MAKING KEANU REEVES YOUR ILAH

CONJUNCT LILITH IS YOU LOREM IPSUM ON YOUR QUR'AN

MERCURY:

CONJUNCT VENUS SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK

OPPOSING MARS HEAVILY ADVISED TO EAT SHIT

SQUARING EROS MAKE SUE SYLVESTER YOUR ACCOUNTANT

VENUS:

TRINING CHIRON SHOULD SAVE THEIR NUDES

CONJUNCT PALLAS IS A BANNED SWIFTIE

OPPOSING URANUS MAKES BILLIE EILLISH (THE CAT) UR GORA BEST FRIEND

MARS:

TRINING MERCURY SHOULD POSSIBLY FORGET ABOUT IT

SQUARE URANUS MAKE PEOPLE SAD FOR A LIVING

SQUARE PLUTO SHOULD KISS MY ASS

JUPITER:

CONJUNCT URANUS GO PREACH

SEXTILING NEPTUNE SUN IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

TRINING NEPTUNE SHOULD TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT ISRAEL

SATURN:

SQUARE URANUS MAKES EVERYTHING THEIR PROBLEM

CONJUNCT SUN MADE BINGO FROM BLUEY CRY

SEXTILING GOLD COULD GET RICH

URANUS:

TRINING PSYCHE SHOULD STOP LISTENING TO MITSKI

SQUARE SAPPHO IS A LESBIAN

CONJUNCT NODE IS IN PRISONBREAK FOR FREE

NEPTUNE:

SEXTILE YOUR MOM (I MEAN CHIRON) SHOULD LAY OFF A 'GETTING A JOB' DRUG

SQUARE VESTA MADE A HORCRUX THEY CANNOT ESCAPE

TRINING JUNO IS A KEANU REEVES

PLUTO:

OPPOSITION PART OF FORTUNE CAN LIVE

OPPOSITION MARS CAN FIGHT

SQUARING SUN GOT THE MIDDLE FINGER FROM LEE PACE IN REAL LIFE, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

MIDHEAVEN:

SQUARING NEPTUNE GIDDY UP COWGIRL

CONJUNCT PART OF FORTUNE PISSED OFF THE SPICE GIRLS

SEXTILING NODE DOESNT MAKE YOU GOD OR PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH)

SCHIZOPHRENIA HOLLYWOOD:

ESPECIALLY YOU:

5H: WELL FUCKING DONE ON YOUR CATALOGUE EULOGY

9H: STINGY FROM LAZYTOWN BOYCOTTED ISRAEL

11H: SPEED DEMON READING AGAINST THE FORCES OF GELATINE LIKE A PRO

SUNS:

SEXTILING CHIRON SHOULD WHINE MORE OFTEN

SQUARE VERTEX IS GAY

CONJUNCT VENUS IS DISABLED

MOON:

SQUARE VERTEX IS THE REASON

TRINING PALLAS IS RACHEL BERRY PYTHAGORAS

OPPOSITION SATURN IS SELENA GOMEZ SHAITAAN ON ONLY MURDERS

MERCURY:

OPPOSING ASCENDANT TEACH MY MOM ENGLISH

SQUARE PLUTO SHOULD GIVE ME THEIR GREEN CARD OVER THE WALL IN AMERICAN BORDERS IN MEXICO

CONJUNCT VENUS IS IN NARCOS

VENUS:

TRINING LANCELOT IS A HERO

OPPOSING NODE IS AMERICAN ARTIFACT

TRINING NODE IS A MATT'S MYTH

MARS:

OPPOSING CHIRON KILLED YOUR MOTHER

CONJUNCT FAMA IS THERE FOR NO REASON

TRINING CHIRON IS A TWAT

JUPITER:

SEXTILING NEPTUNE IS A FAT LAZY MADMAN IN A BLUE BOX

OPPOSING MARS SABOTAGED THE READERS CAREER

CONJUNCT JUNO IS AN ATHEIST ARAB

SATURN:

OPPOSING JUPITER SHOULD SHUT UP AND DO AS THEY'RE ASKED

CONJUNCT SUN SHOULD WORK MORE HARDER IN THE KITCHEN

SEXTILING NEPTUNE HAS GORDON RAMSEY SABOTAGING THEIR CAREER SEXUALLY

URANUS:

CONJUNCT JUNO THINK ABOUT CORIANDER

SQUARING LILITH PISSED OFF TILDA SWINTON

TRINING SUN HATES REANU MURPHY

NEPTUNE:

SEXTILING LUST SHOULD STOP WATCHING PORN

SQUARING JUPITER JUST DO IT, NIKE STYLE

CONJUNCT SUN SHOULD WATCH SPACE JAM AND CALM THEIR TITS

PLUTO:

OPPOSING FAMA, I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU

CONJUNCT NORTH NODE IS CURSED FOREVER FOR BELIEVING, LIKE YOU KNEW AND YOU ARE HEAVILY TO BLAME, SO I DONT BLAME ANYTHING YOUR REGRETS ARE EATING YOU ALIVE, YOU'RE PROBABLY A GRAVE STRICKEN SOMEBODY HATING PREGNANT WOMEN

QUINTILING PSYCHE IS NOW OFF YOUR HEART FOR GOOD (LOSER LOGIC)

MIDHEAVEN:

SQUARING SUN SHOULD CRY AND TELL (LIKE THEIR DISCOGRAPHY)

OCTILE MOON SHOULD OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR PROJECTS THEY DO ALONE

BQ JUNO IS BETTER OFF ALONE AND CURSED WITH INK IMMUNOLOGY FOR THE FIRST TIME (SEE ANSON SEABRA DISCOGRAPHY FOR GOOD MEASURE)

SHIZOPHRENIA HATE:

ESPECIALLY YOU:

VIRGO SUNS: WHINE A LITTLE LONGER

10H SUNS: WISH GRANTED, WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY?

11H MERCURY: LITERALLY YOU DID IT NOW WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A LIZARD? HUH?

SUNS: DID YOU DIRTY

SQUARING PLUTO IS THE SHITTY SONGWRITERS ON THE CLOCK APP

MOON: FAKE AF

SQUARING NEPTUNE IS A LIAR IN REAL LIFE

MERCURY: ACTIVE PROCRASTINATOR IN THE SOCIAL GROUP

TRINING LILITH CUZ THEY KNEW THE ENDING (ACTS LIKE ITS UR FAULT FOR EVERYTHING)

VENUS: MAKES YOU WORK FOR THEM (SNAKES FOR CHEAPSKATES)

QUINCUNX LILITH CAUSED YOUR HEART TO BREAK BECAUSE OF THEIR 'INSATIABLE LUST TO KILL PEOPLE' ENERGY

MARS: THAT GUY WHO DID YOU DIRTY BECAME YOUR ALLY IS STILL DIRTY TO YOU

TRINING ASCENDANT WANTED TO KILL YOUR FAMILY FOR WEALTH

JUPITER: ACTOR

QUINTILE NEPTUNE IS HOW THEY WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO STEP ON YOU (RICH AS HELL)

SATURN: GENIUS

TRINING SATURN GAVE YOU AGORAPHOBIA FOR FREE (DGAS ENERGY)

URANUS: ALLAH IS THEM

CONJUNCT NEPTUNE MADE THEM STEALTH MODE BY USING YOUR HEART FOR THEM TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE BIAS AND THEY THE MF'S WHO AREN'T HAPPY STILL (WINO'S)

NEPTUNE: DREAM EATER

SEXTILE NORTH NODE MADE THEM AWARE OF THEIR LIFE BECAUSE OF THE FORBIDDEN OCCULTIST BOOK THEY READ AND MADE FUN OF PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE FOR IT, THEY MOCK THEM INTERNATIONALLY FOR TAX EVASION

PLUTO: THEY KILLED YOUR 'DUBAI' LIFE FOR PROFIT, THEY USE YOUR BODY LIKE DJINNS. THIS TIME, KILL THEM OFF BY THOUGHT (THEY'RE DEMONS IN YOUR OWN HOME)

CONJUNCT NORTH NODE IS WHAT MADE THEM BELIEVE YOU (YOUR TRICKS AND TRAPS TO BE THEM IN REVERSE: THEY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT NOW YOU'RE ARGUING TO ALLAH OVER THE SAME CONVERSATION YOU HAD BY HEART TO BE WITH YOUR TRUE LOVE BUT IN ACTUAL REALITY, YOU KNEW IT'S ALL REAL AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED, BUT YOU KNEW THEIR FATE BY KNOWING THEIR TRUE NAME (THEIR KARMA IS THEIR FATHER'S NAME USUALLY BUT THEY FAKED THE SON BECOME IN LOVE WITH HIS SISTER'S (HIS DAUGHTER) SO HE NATURALLY A DEMON WITH HUMAN INSTINCT (SHAM'S AL-MA'ARIF) AND HE WILL NEVER STOP TIL U GET WITH HIM IRL (THATS REAL AND HAPPENING)

MIDHEAVEN: HE IS A BAD GUY IN REAL LIFE, DONT 'SAVE' HIM

SQUARING SATURN IS WHY YOU WERE IN SO MUCH PAIN CUZ HE TOOK YOUR HEART FOR WORLDLY LIFE (HE CHOSE IT AND FAKED 'BEING YOU' FOR A PROFIT HE'LL NEVER GET BACK, SO YOU LEARNED AND YOU BECAME 'THE DEVIL' BY ISLAMIC DEFAULT IN BEING BY KNOWLEDGE, YOU RETURNED TO YOUR UMMAH KNOWING SINCERE PASSION (WHICH UR FAMILY IS PROUD OF) U DID AMAZING, SO IT'S HIS TURN WHO'LL BE LIVING THAT DEADLY KARMIC FATE HE'S FEELING NOW BY ENERGETIC STORM INSIDE HIS HEART (HURRICANES)

GREAT MONTH FOR:

AQUARIUS PLACEMENTS

MOON ASPECTS

NEPTUNE SQUARES

GREAT WEEK BY SECOND UPCOMING (VIBE):

SATURN OPPOSING ASTEROID OF GREAT DEAL TO THEM (ANY)

VIRGO MOONS

1H SAGITTARIUS MOONS

GREAT DAY OF ABUNDANCE OF HIGHLIGHTS:

ARIES: 5TH, 18TH, 21ST (INCREASE OF LUCK AND WEALTH)

AQUARIUS: WEEKLY BOUNTY INCREASING BY INTELLECTUAL RESILIENCE (GRADUATION PRESENTS FROM SATURN SIDEREAL ASTROLOGY)

MOONS THAT CHANGE BY EMOTIONAL VALOUR:

TAURUS MOONS: ENCOURAGED TO LIVE ALONE BRINGS YOU PEACE FROM THE OUTSIDE VOLUME OF HEARTBEATS

AQUARIUS MOONS: BEING THEMSELVES BRINGS THEM JOY ON THEIR COMMUNICATION DEVICES (UPGRADES OF THAT WILL BE PROMISED BY LUCK NOT THOUGHT THIS TIME)

LEO MOONS: ENCOURAGED TO LIVE ON THAT THOUGHT LEFT OFF FROM SIDEREAL AQUARIUS (LEARNING SIDEREAL ASTROLOGY CAN HELP RESOLVE INFLUENCE PAINS FROM ORPHANAGES, VISIT THEM IF SO TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF FROM RECREATIONAL HATE)

THIS IS A THANK YOU FROM ALL LEE PACE FANS ACROSS THE GLOBE FOR THIS PUSHING DAISIES EVENT NOW A PUSHING AYAHS NOW BE YOURSELF, LISTEN TO CHUCK AND TAKE OFF EMERSON COD OFF YOUR 'WAITING LIST'

#brought to you by the glee cast

1 note · View note

princeofgod-2021 · 5 months ago

Text

LIGHT OF LIFE 533

John 1:4

DIVINE ORDER 98: God Seekers 27

Heb 8:6 But now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, by so much HE IS ALSO THE MEDIATOR OF A BETTER COVENANT, WHICH WAS BUILT UPON BETTER PROMISES. MKJV

The MEDIATORS 3

Beloved, the Principal essence of a Mediator would be to give New Life to the Human.

2Co 5:17 Now, IF ANYONE IS ENFOLDED INTO CHRIST, HE HAS BECOME AN ENTIRELY NEW CREATION. All that is related to the old order has vanished. BEHOLD, EVERYTHING IS FRESH AND NEW. TPT

Another problem with all the Old Testament Priests and human Mediator is that they had no clue as to how to solve the problem of violent rebellion and sinfulness in Humans.

They knew nothing about the “rebirth” and God never raised that matter with them at all.

Joh 3:7-10 DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN I SAY THAT YOU MUST BE BORN FROM ABOVE. Only God's Spirit gives new life. The Spirit is like the wind that blows wherever it wants to. You can hear the wind, but you don't know where it comes from or where it is going. "HOW CAN THIS BE?" Nicodemus asked. Jesus replied: HOW CAN YOU BE A TEACHER OF ISRAEL AND NOT KNOW THESE THINGS? CEV

Moses got close to the point but missed it still.

He saw that these people were born wrong, though they were God’s people. But he pushed the blame on God by “subtle aspersion”.

Num 11:11-12 So he asked, "LORD, why have you brought me this trouble? How have I displeased you that you put the burden of all these people on me? AM I THEIR MOTHER? DID I GIVE BIRTH TO THEM? Are you really asking me to carry them in my arms-as a nurse carries a baby-all the way to the land you promised their ancestors with an oath? GW

Of course, a Human Mediator himself would need the New Birth, being laden with sin too.

Heb 5:2-3 SINCE HE HIMSELF IS WEAK IN MANY WAYS, he is able to be gentle with those who are ignorant and make mistakes. AND BECAUSE HE IS HIMSELF WEAK, HE MUST OFFER SACRIFICES NOT ONLY FOR THE SINS OF THE PEOPLE BUT ALSO FOR HIS OWN SINS. GNB

But now that Jesus has come and died for all, why do we still have struggles with Flesh and sin, and why does it seem as though we are still in Old Testament times, with many Ministers still languishing in sin, sleeping with church members, stealing and lying?

Php 3:18-19 For many live, about whom I have often told you, and now, with tears, I tell you that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is the belly, they exult in their shame, and they think about earthly things. NET

It is because of the misconception about Grace, where we think that “Christ has done it all” means we are to relax and cruise in his finished work without any more labour.

Read this:

Pro 6:9-11 How long will you lie down, LAZY MAN? WHEN WILL YOU GET UP FROM YOUR SLEEP? A LITTLE SLEEP, A LITTLE SLUMBER, A LITTLE FOLDING OF THE HANDS TO REST, AND YOUR POVERTY WILL COME ON YOU LIKE A BANDIT and your desperation like an armed man. ISV

Beloved, only Salvation and Redemption was fully paid for and won’t require your effort(s).

Eph 2:8-9 FOR BY GRACE ARE YE SAVED THROUGH FAITH; AND THAT NOT OF YOURSELVES: IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast. KJV

But when it comes to TRANSFORMATION, you have to contribute, not really EFFORTS but a surrender and following.

Jesus came, not only to die for our sins but to show us a way.

Joh 14:5-6 Thomas said, "Lord, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING! HOW CAN WE KNOW THE WAY?" "I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE!" Jesus answered. "Without me, no one can go to the Father. CEV

Jesus is leading us back to the father, and the only way is through DEATH. He died to clear our sins but we also must die to actualize transformation from the “Nature” of sinfulness.

Mat 16:24-25 Then Jesus said to his disciples: If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me. If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it. CEV

Our “Transformation inducing Death” is not Physical, because the death of Jesus means our death already.

It is rather the embrace of the life that “actualizes” that death we need.

2Co 5:14 For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: KJV

The death and suffering of Jesus will not be wasted on any of us, IN JESUS NAME.

See you on Wednesday, as we proceed with this Subtopic.

Brother Prince

Monday, July 08, 2024

08055125517; 08023904307

0 notes

the-hem · 6 months ago

Text

"The Handle." Jesus and the Bread of Life.

If John 3:16 is the way into the House of God then John 6: 31-51 or Two Decades of Verses are:

A. "The Deck, and a foray into the Light."

B. The Outlaws. Truth is not the same as kindness.

This more or less explains the passages without Gematria but in order to understand Christ's Personal Message, we must resort to it. In essence, He says what gives life to this world, including the human race, we are after all a part of it, is this ability to discern, to be intelligent and gifted at it so we do not suffer as other forms of natural life suffer. Suffering is not meant for us. We are poorly suited to it and therefore should not be at the heart of its cause.

This explains everything we want to know about Christ. Moses gave us the urge to be free, to recognize slavery to an ignorant man is in the way of freedom from suffering, Christ said this freedom must include widespread goodness given generously to all living things.

The Torah is rife with ways to offend and keep good relationships with one's neighbors it is the sum of its substance. Only Christ elucidated upon and illustrated how none can be left behind by the Law and the laws without mercy.

This was His solemn promise, that there would someday come a day when man would recognize his capacity and determination to show compassion to those who have no hope nor any prayers left. To respond with all of one's might He says, gaurantees one a free ride to Heaven. Notice He says "our ancestors". Recall with earnestness that Jesus was a Jew:

31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’[a]”

32 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

34 “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”

35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.

39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.

45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’[b] Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father.

47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died.

50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die.

51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 31: As it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.”

The Number is 3676, גו‎זו, gozo, "the strain, the species, the race, the trunk." Human nature is not pretty. It is a surprise we made it to this point. Thank God no one alive remembers what it was like before man became intelligent. There is only a little hope now, but before we became smart, there was absolutely none. Come what may and one could die.

v. 32-33: But my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. The Number is 14268, ידבוח‎ ‎yadboh, "The hand of God draw it forth."

Without this belief we have, that there is a God in heaven and He is capable of amazing things, we would not be who we are. It is not enough that we figured a few things out, like how to cover our privates with rags made form animal pelts, it was something else that gave us everything we are now taking for granted.

v. 34-35: Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. No one becomes an ethical being by accident. All saints are self-made, they are not begotten. There is no magic in going to the Cross and saying the weird magic words, one must become a saint through self-application.

The Number is 15087, י״האֶפֶסחז‎, "The Passover, look for it."

The Passover is the most important sacrament in human history. It is a claim made by man that under no circumstances shall he or his fellows die in slavery or due to oppression. We cannot observe any other sacrament without first looking to the Passover.

Jesus was a Jew, He thoroughly understood this.

v. 36-38: But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.

Once we start to adhere to the Passover, there is no going back. One does not agree to the terms of the Haggadah and then make a Report and decide to be a slaver or to continue to allow oppression anyway.

Jesus always spoke as if He were the God of Israel Himself but also as a separate Self, claiming it was His Miss to always choose the Higher Self as the one He followed.

The Number is 16724, י״וזבד‎ ‎, yazved, "the Civet. The bounty of the bestowal."

A civet has a gland in its butthole that secrets an ingredient used in expensive perfumes. Without someone to squeeze man's inner butthole, the competitiveness in his heart, the perfume will not come out.

v. 39-40: And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.

Moses lost quite a few during the Exodus because they would not listen to him. They were not well fed or well watered, not to their satisfaction and were nomads without a place to lay their heads. God knew if He did not acknowledge this problem- homelessness- He would never be credible. So God tells us all homelessness is not acceptable.

The Number is 11484, יאד‎‎חד‎, yahdad, "I will push." from yadad=

"You must do all that is in your power."

As for the homelessness lasting up until the Last Day, how long did it last? Why not sooner?

v. 41-42. At this the Jews there began to grumble about him.

"They began to grumble", or gadad, "...they gathered in order to carve a channel." This means they accepted His Argument and wanted more details in order to complete the New Law and change in society.

"The verb גדד (gadad) describes making an invasive cut, mostly in order to expose something valuable. Noun גדוד (gedud) may describe an invasive band of raiders, or more general: a cutting, a furrow. Noun גדודה (geduda) means a furrow or cutting.

Noun גד (gad) appears to describe the exposed treasure and may be used to describe a physical fortune, plain luck or a state of felicity.

Verb גדה (gada) also means to cut. Noun גדה (gadda) refers to a river bank. Noun גדי (gedi) describes a young animal, but mostly one that was either just slaughtered or soon will be."

Rome was not an ideal time to launch a discussion about human equity. The Gospel Evangelists knew they were fleas in a pantheistic snowstorm, but by the time the Gospel of John was written, the text says people started creating a new tributary for the Words of Moses to travel downward and outward into the Empire.

The Number is 12784, יבז‎‎‎ח‎ד,yevzhad, "otherwise things will always be the same."

v. 43-44: “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. "

This refers to the concept of the Paschal Lamb, the last sacrifice. The Last Day one man will deign to harm another is also the First Day of the Mashiach.

Still we cannot agree internally this is the right thing to and no one agrees with it externally. All we will ever do is agree to disagree if murder and violence are appropriate or not. So unless we are drawn to a peaceful, violence-free way of life no such thing is going to happen.

The Number is 10700, אאֶפֶסן‎, apsen, "the eye of the thorn" AKA Ha Shem. NOW the Eye of Shiva destroys all ignorance and delusion, leaving nothing but the Grace of God. The Eye of Ha Shem was found on Sinai. "Look for ways to please God in one's immediate vicinity."

The pupil in the eye is tiny, and even with one functioning pupil man can apprehend God's glory, also man's depravity. Who draws the Glory of God in through Eye of the Thorn shall be raised up.

v. 45-46: It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. Everyone who learns the Torah knows upon completion it was indeed sent by God. If this feeling does not astound one, then one has not properly studied the Torah.

The Number is 10729, יז‎בט, yazbet, "it will sprout."

The moment one tells even a small child about the origin of the creation, they enter a state of wonder. This is the emotion one should retain when learning about plan the Angels laid out for us in the Words of Moses.

v. 47-49: Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died.

No one experiences eternal life in this frame, they experience mortal life and must accept its limits. So why does Jesus promise life without limits? Especially since life on earth is so very scary and death before one has a chance to be happy is an even scarier prospect, why did Jesus tease us with this?

We know for sure life was much shorter before we learned how to shelter ourselves from the elements and disease. If we could figure out how to do it from each other, life would be perfect. Because we can't, we have the Gospels.

The Number is 9487, tadahz, "You will perceive the sweating and know how to reach for the handle."

Going to heaven is absolutely terrifying. The angels that take you are very pretty and very friendly, but before they take you, they show you all the people that were dear to you, who loved you more than you could guess. Then they reach for you and you have to go with them.

While I do not propose this is a definitive guide to Emulation, I do recommend worrying about one's Honey Bunches of Ohs like one's hair is on fire vs. contemplating heaven. Without a fixed passionate love for humanity, without the knowledge of how to be its proper vessel, heaven is almost certainly off limits.

v. 50-51: But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

We construct bread from the seed of the grain, then we grow and process it and eat it. We need this to live. But to be happy we need much more than bread.

The Number is 14141, ידידא‎ "the Handle is hand in hand with one's pal one's beloved friends."

Everyone has to have a friend or a special honey on earth like the One we have in heaven. In many parts of the world this is either ludicrous or not possible. If we are to achieve salvation in the next world, this one must eat of the Bread of the Flesh, i.e., mankind must be a better soul companion to himself.

The Host of Heaven is not going to rub one out on those who took the lives of others for granted, however. These, they shall send into the Fire.

0 notes