#he thought it would be soothing
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Hi! I was wondering if you'd share Raphael's reasoning for laying a smooch on Astarion, if he had one beyond getting it out of the way, or just wanting to. Loving Palmarosa so far, you really nail both of their voices and I'm super invested in where it's gonna go next!
Hi hi anon,
I honestly think he was being manipulative and he felt like doing it. Raphael does enjoy introducing moments of softness and indulgence with Astarion because a) he enjoys creature comforts himself and b) he knows Astarion does too and c) it's enjoyable to him and d) he believes (rightly) that Astarion has been starved of tender moments, and so rather than smother him, he continues to 'starve' him but provides him with tastes of something he wants more of and/or is baffled by.
I always feel like with Raphael, I'm writing him intentionally as someone who always has multiple reasons to be doing what he's doing. The times when he's most frustrated is when he can't find multiple reasons for something and/or when he gets shoved off that track by like, his father. (Even then, he still won, just not in the way he wanted).
I honestly feel like that guy has an abacus in his head constantly counting up like the 5-100 motives for any single action or line or thought and at the top is the hedonistic 'because it feels good and I wanted to' lmao
#asks and answers#palmarosa#i love writing raphael#he wanted to give astarion a smooch#he thought it would be soothing#it takes the weight of the first kiss out of the way#making it both shocking but also normalising it#so that astarion won't be as 'what the fuck the fuck' by the next one#(though it's astarion he still will be)#and raphael loves introducing tenderness#where astarion least expects it
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Though in think tank:
It's just the two of us (three actually, its a tricycle now)
harringroveson, metalsandwhich
just the two of them wanting the same guy and finding each other
while said guy is trying to be filling. they're having the feels and steve is horny. he's fine though. I'll decide if I can keep this going. they will fuck nasty. in like, the next parts.
Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson are hooking up. They've got a good thing going on.
They're into each other, they have stuff in common, be it music, the fashion, their preferences. They're fast and quick. Furious and sharp, all teeth when they're together. Get a thrill and kind of comfort with how consistent and similar they could be. They bounce off and work each other to heights. It feels like it's only the two of them, like steel sharpening steel. In this small hick town.
Billy's always felt a lot, even more now he's stuck here. Always ran hot now he's stuck in a chilly, dreary town, used to feel like he could breathe slow and easy out there but not when he's stuck here. And with Eddie. Well, Eddie always wanted more, knows he's made for more. He's flagging half-heartedly in a small town, and now Billy has to tuck himself in. They both always feel bigger on the inside. No one is like them. Not in the way they know.
No one else feels jagged or rough. Neither Eddie nor Billy know anyone who can stop the itch, the aches in their jaw, the tightness.
Enter Steve Harrington. Just, not really.
Now, Steve seemed exactly nothing like either of them. Yes, he's masculine. A man. But he's not.. like them. Not dark or sharp, probably not what either of them would experience, probably doesn't feel like a whirlwind in his body, doesn't scratch. But it doesn't stop either of them from ogling. Shooting the shit with each other, letting out comments and thoughts on guys the've seen. And even if Harrington was open, or experimenting, or anything that would lead preppy jocks astray, he probably wouldn't be any good. Wouldn't be fun, no matter how pretty. No matter how soft.
Billy and Eddie's standards on the anyone in Hawkins, any man they might think of in the sense they'd think of each other. None for now, just them. Clocked each other so fast and collided with each other like a car crash. But both can agree, yeah. Steve's hot.
Billy's been knowing about it, having been hanging out with Steve. Knowing who he is, mostly on the court. Gets a kind of satisfaction being able to push this boy around.
And Eddie, who's there with his comments as they talk, will also have assumptions. He's known the guy longer. (If he ever really knew him. What more do you need when everyone else knows some.)
"Bill, he's just the usual, man." He takes a drag out of his cigarette, leaning on the side of his van. "Harrington. He's just a dude. I mean we're in Hawkins. Pretty boys like him got to be repressed. One way or another."
He scoffs, turning his head to him, eyebrows raised and hands waving vaguely in front of him, "have you seen him with Tommy? Before you came around those two were—" he puts up a tight fist and shakes it, like it would mean something. "Y'know? Tommy boy's been trailing after him since eighth grade."
Billy let's out a sharp laugh, stealing Eddie's cigarette, "calling me a homewrecker, Munson?"
"Is it homewrecking when you 'wreck' both parties? You ensnare Tommy away from the King and then you come round to have a chat with Harrington in the showers?" He let's Billy have the cigarette, crossing his arms as he leans in closer, "which, what was that about?"
(Eddie's been in this town, longer than the fresh meat Billy was supposed to be. Has seen the King parading around, stuck in his own little world. Head up in the clouds and not bothering to look down and check if his feet were even touching the ground. Til '83 that is.
It was weird. After Nancy Wheeler, sometime in November with all of them being gone for a while after two people go missing —one was Byers' little brother he remembers, he wasn't sure who the other one was, a girl?—only to come back with Wheeler on Jonathan Byers side of all places. Sweet and looking at each other like they've found someone who understands. Found someone who knows life outside. As if they knew there'd be more out there.
And Steve. Steve looked settled. Looked normal and still moving even when he looked at either of them, the couple. Like he knows he's small in this stupid town but doesn't feel tight in his own skin. That even though he hasn't found anyone like that, and even lost something he's still fine. That he's seen more and knows better even when he stood still. He's found out about the same things Byers and Wheeler had. Went through the motions. Was just waiting for a pin drop to be able to live. It fascinated, Eddie. He envied it. He scoffs in his mind, what would Steve Harrington know?
Will he ever get to know? The boy and the why?)
Billy rolls his eyes, taking one last drag from his cigarette before putting it out, dropping it on the concrete for hi to stomp, "fucking nothing, Edward."
Not nothing. He heard Eddie and his 'normal dude' rant. But he can't fool Billy. He knows the guy saw the same thing in Harrington he did. He was different and radiant in this stupid town while also fitting in perfectly. He was fucking lame and didn't know a single thing. But. He also knew some things. Makes it seem like the things he knows were life altering
Harrington was an enigma. A person with thoughts and feelings and in some kind of state. He was your average fucking prep. Image obsessed, vain, and so impossibly normal. And a flea who only knows the jar can't jump over the cap. But Steve. It's like he doesn't care. He doesn't know why he only knows this side of The King's rebrand. How he only knows one side to the story. How he knows Tommy and his weird obsession with Steve and how he left, and turned fucking bitch. Acted like he was now bottom of the barrel. But the King (although Billy has a feeling he isn't one anymore) is fine. Acted like dropping his nuclear friend group and demographic was nothing. Which in the grand scheme of things, maybe it wasn't. But it's supposed to be something, to boys like Steve Harrington. He doesn't know why he cares.
"Ouuh, fucking nothing, Edward, blah blah. Also, don't call me that." He huffs. "You're not the only one thirsting, William. Everyone wants, envies, covets at a piece of Steve Harrington. But again, he's just a dude. Hell, I had the hots for him too. Besides," he knocks shoulders with Hargrove, finger going up to flick at his piercing then to loop around a blonde curl.
"Ya got me right now."
Billy looks at him with considering gaze, before smirking. He straightens up off the van, "you wish, freak." He goes round to the back of the van, opening it up, before crawling in.
Eddie grins, scampering off after him. He pushes the both of them obssesed with Steve Harrington bit away from his mind. He's hanging with Billy.
Steve frowns a bit as he sees both men hop into the back of Munson's van. He was just passing by the parking lot. He sighs, scratching his head. He needs to go to another fucking bar. His nightmares are acting up again. Who knew the eerie light of the pool and his own house lights would make him twitch? What a life. He's okay though, pretty sure.
He smiles as he hops in the car. A night in Indy will fix him up. Surely. It always does. (And although Nancy –and Jonathan suprisingly– were worried, he assures them both as sweetly as he could that it was definitely not alcoholism. It's either more or less better than they expected. But he's glad his new friends slash two wheels he third wheels slash co-monster fighters were worried.)
As he drives off, he takes a glance at the rear view mirror, before shaking his head. Why would they hook up out in the open, in that back of the guy's van in a parking lot? Sure they could be hotboxing or some shit and smoking the weed in that dweeb Munson's lunchbox but Steve doubts that. With how hot the both of then are and how intensely they were looking at each other they were for sure fucking. He thought at least Hargrove would know better.
"Shame, shame," he shrugs, even though no one can see him, his expression set in 'it is what it is.' He wonders what he should wear and what he should order. He licks his lips and hums happily. He gets to feel alive for the weekend.
#harringrove#steddie#mungrove#harringroveson#stranger things fanfic idea#stranger things au#i just want metal sandwhich#also#metalsandwich#just these two dudes being with each other thinking about that one guy they're weirdly obsessed with#then thinking they're the only two people who would understand each other i a way that would soothe them#and genuinely thinking that this perfect man might fix them when they know they dont have chance#said 'normal guy' has experienced horrors and in this au: thought breaking up w his gf and sucking dick would fix the aforementioned horror#now at least he's figured himself out#im talking about steve btw#while these two metalheads are lamenting and confiding each other in a battle kf longing and companionship#steve lowkey highkey wanna bang#steve 'im just a dude' harrington#the think tank writing#charl's got thoughts#steddie fanfiction
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Harry & Lily - The One Where No One Rescued Him for 10 Years
She wished there was a way to tell him that he wasn't alone, and every single night she was right there beside him in that filthy cupboard. Each night, she reached out to touch him, wishing she could hold him one last time. But she knew it was impossible, so she would just tell him how much she loved him.
#she watched him sleep every night#trying to soothe his sobs as he fell asleep#james stayed with her for a while as watched their boy sleep#then he would leave to watch over sirius and come collect her after sunrise#midjourney#harry potter#lily potter#james potter#i'm sorry but it's been a depressing week so welcome to my depressing thoughts!#harry potter ai#ai generated
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The Pilgrims braid Wukong’s hair with mixed results 💕💕
#theyre a Found Family your honor#I liked my braid design for Wukong#and immediately thought everyone would take turns braiding his hair#Bajie may rip out some hair but he’s hella skilled#Ao lie does the super fancy stuff but it takes him 30 minutes💀#Wujing does what his heart tells him and we love that🫶🫶#Sanzang tries to get Wukong to memorize sutras and listen to his lectures but Wukong doesn’t care and gets soothed to sleep🥺#I LOVE THEM THEY MAKE ME SOFT#sun wukong#zhu bajie#sha wujing#tang sanzang#ao lie#bai longma#jttw#journey to the west#my art
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Luke Thompson,
ever since I first saw you on screen,
I read and watched five Shakespearean plays back to back, (Midsummer’s night dream, Julius Caesar, King Lear, Hamlet, Love’s Labour’s Lost)
Made me Invested and bawl over a 800 hundred page book, (A little life)
And motivated me to start writing tiny stories of my one. (Bridgerton)
Luke Thompson, you keep me cultured.
I salute you , I admire you, you make my life
#benedict bridgerton#bridgerton#luke thompson#just my thoughts#it also soothes me that he would never read what I write or what I say#thank god he doesn’t have any social media
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watching the US elections in real time is giving me anxiety for the future of the entire world i wish damien were here to hold me and lull me to sleep
#his almost fully tatted arm. around my midriff#please.....#im in tears....#damien haas#smosh#twitch#i know only he can soothe me into believing in better things i just know it#i just hate how he's half the world away from my reach#sorry for being so parasocial i thought my hyperfixation would slowly fade away but damien and his new ink said Nope! HAHA
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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Explain "homewrecker"?
all i’m saying is if i were in bing-ge’s position i would not have fumbled shizun
#thing is right#im aware it would spell my doom#but stealing 1/2 of bingqiu for myself is a soothing thought#i have everything shizun needs! trauma! tears! i can lift heavy stuff!#also for binghe i can and will say the most embarrassing unhinged things to have ever graced another’s ears just to comfort him#i would 100% make a great wife and demonic empress also#AND i would top him whenever however wherever he asked#i just think they’re not exploring all possibilities and that’s a damn shame#let me at them. i’d look great standing by my stolen husband during the divorce proceedings#while my wished-he-were-but-never-will-be husband looks upon me with scorn and disgust#i have the ‘i’m being wronged’ expression down. i even have a handkerchief ready#anyway#hope that helps!#.q
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A little comedy drabble for @kyanako5972 in return for their very impressive musical skills! (The Jailbreak mix wouldn't have fit together without ya👍) Fuuta gets his hands on some slime... They've done some art for it here :3
[I couldn't think of something funny enough, but insert broadway bootleg Milgram Slime Tutorial joke here]
Fuuta was open-minded. Of course he was. He was the most open-minded guy here. He knew that vengeance could come in many shapes. Sometimes it took the form of beautiful, poetic violence. Sometimes it was cutting words and a grand victory. And other times, it appeared as sticky craft slime. You just had to have an open mind to see it.
Not everyone was in as receptive of a mood.
“A-are you sure it’s not a, a toy?” Haruka asked.
“It’s not.”
“B-but,” he pointed, “it’s --”
“No! It’s a weapon.”
“I don’t know if you know what a weapon is…” Amane looked down at the table. “You couldn’t have requested something a bit more… sharp?”
“Eh!? This is a pri-son. Like they’re gonna give me something like that. I’ve got to take matters into my own hands.”
To prove his point, he picked up his creation. The color wasn’t as flashy as the others’, but it held the perfect consistency for what he needed. It had taken some time to formulate the perfect plan of attack. There were rules he had to work around, after all. (No matter how open-minded he was, rules were rules.) There was a no-violence ban. Fuuta had already tested that one -- several times, actually -- and was sure he couldn’t get around it. Their requests were monitored, and it wasn’t as if he could go and order weapons. And then, even if he did get his hands on something truly dangerous, the original ban would stop him from using it. That left him with only one option.
“It’s definitely a toy. The others are playing with it.” It was true, Haruka, Muu and Yuno had their own colorful creations. Amane herself hadn’t grabbed any, though she sat with her eyes glued hungrily on the others’ projects. Her interest in it wasn’t helping Fuuta’s case.
“Exactly, it’s the perfect disguise! They’ll never see it coming.”
“There’s nothing to see coming…”
Muu poked at hers. “Look~ Mine’s cute and pink, see? I’m even going to add some glitter when Haruka’s finished with it.”
“I-I Uh, I think I added too much… sorry…” Haruka’s slime had lost all appealing texture, turned into a clumpy, sparkling mess.
Fuuta heaved the loudest sigh he could manage, but the others continued paying him no mind. He was doing this for them, shouldn’t they care? Es had slapped Haruka during his interrogation, for god’s sake! That was child abuse! Yuno was only a year older and returned from her interrogation with complaints of violence! And Fuuta --! Well, he actually hadn’t experienced any of that, but that didn’t matter. No hero of justice would let all that go unpunished.
His moment came quicker than expected. He’d planned on ambushing Es coming in or out of their room, but they surprised everyone by coming into the common area. It was fate.
“I heard you all were playing with some crafts in here.”
Amane glanced at Fuuta. He shot her a look back that meant “don’t say a single word.” His exaggerated expression only drew Es’ attention.
“Something to say, prisoner three?”
“Yeah!” He wound up his arm.
He had an open mind, but not necessarily a quick one. With more time, he could have come up with a righteous cry, something along the lines of: “this is for Haruka and Yuno, you damned scoundrel!” Or even: “meet your judgment, tyrant!”
But as the slime came careening toward’s Es’ face, the only thing he managed was, “fuck you!”
Splat.
The common room fell silent. Fuuta froze. The slime had hit its mark perfectly. It hit Es squarely on the side of the head. It splattered onto their hat. A good deal had tangled itself in their hair. It oozed toward their shoulder, clumps falling onto the uniform. As they tried to wipe it from their face, the material clung to their gloves, getting stuck between their fingers.
Their eyes moved slowly from their ruined clothes to Fuuta’s still outstretched hand, to his face. “I see.”
They turned on their heel and left.
“That’ll teach ya!” He called out, a moment too late after they’d gone. He turned to Amane, who was watching with a mix of amusement and disappointment. “There’s no way that stuff’s washing out easy. Maybe they’ll have to put on a spare uniform in the meantime.”
“You shouldn’t have made them so mad,” she said.
“Pah! What’s the brat gonna do? Name me guilty over it?”
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#es#amane momose#thank you for your help!!! i was just expecting a few little pointers and you had whole pictures and thorough info -- im so grateful ;-;#(and so impressed >:0)#not pictured here: es sitting dejected in their room because it really doesnt wash out easily and they have to tell jackalope what happened#that OR they have a closet comically full of identical uniforms and return in like five minutes perfectly clean and it makes fuuta So Mad 😂#at first i kept getting off topic and focusing too much on the others but i think haruka would find the slime very soothing :')#muu would make a bright green one at one point making es do a double take#alternate version where fuuta tells amane she can get back at shidou in the same way and she gets to play with slime as well 👏✨#fuuta 'this is a pri-son' kajiyama.....#i love the thought of him having all these dramatic visions of knights and righteousness and absolutely none of it translating irl#hes just so very uncool and i love him for it 😌#im excited for the ice cream request -- ive been toying around with possibilities...#drabbles
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It's funny how big of an impact things we watch as we grow up leave.
Like I just read an article interviewing Alyson (last name not remembered) who played Lunnette the clown on The Big Comfy Couch.
My parents and I still quote things from the show. One line in particular.
"Who made this big mess!?"
Then we give blame to who did. Messy hair day, still referred to the person as Major Bedhead. We'll still even reference Molly the dolly.
The Big Comfy Couch is hardly the only thing that gets referenced.
There are still times when (though my brothers don't really know the show) that we reference Skinnamarink TV with Sharon Lois and Bram. Especially some of their songs. (Skinnamarink-y dinky do- I love you. I love you in the morning and in the afternoon. I love you in the evening and underneath the moon...)
Ants in the Pants is another one that still gets a reference at times and that show had some fun music on it. Songs that I still think about to this day.
I still think about Babar a lot, but we don't necessarily reference it, though I do like to pull out (moonmen never kid) at times. I also still think about Theodore the Tugboat and will go and listen to the theme song at times.
And of course there are the classics like Little Bear, Franklin, Arthur and others, but they're not ones that necessarily actually get directly referenced. Though I'm sure that there are many shows that I'm missing.
Anyways that's just my little musing on kid shows.
#there's just something so comforting about certain kid shows#not all of them are rewatchable as an adult but quite a few actually are#like I still love Babar and will go and watch it again the sound track for the show is delightful and leans classical making it timeless#and Gordon Pinsent as older Babar's voice is so soothing#my tastes in kid's shows do tend to lean very Canadian but considering that I am Canadian I think that makes sense#like Babar. Theodore. Big Comfy Couch. Skinnamarink TV. Ants in the Pants are all Canadian and have stuck a deep cord within me#let alone Mr. Dressup who I didn't touch on and he's a Canadian icon to people over a certain age#people around my age are kind of the last ones to really know Mr.Dressup and I was already on reruns#my parents and I still reference the tickle trunk or the owl and his twit ta wo twit ta we#anyways I just love old kid shows and while I don't have any kids currently I have previously thought that I would#want to show them the shows that I grew up on moreso than anything modern at least to some degree
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okay so your trans art binge-reblog spree yesterday kinda synced up with me having Intense Gender Feels so please allow me the liberty of gently knocking at your inbox again bc I feel a mighty need to unleash some trans!Eddie headcanons on you >.>
imagine the sheer emancipation of Eddie growing out his hair again after he had cut it short when first moving in with Wayne but this time long hair feels different and so, so much freeing bc it's no longer a stupid social expectation rooted in sth that isn't even true about him but instead a personal choice, one deeply connected with the music that comforts and inspires him like nothing else
imagine the freedom of him first realizing he's trans and how things — maybe not all things but at least some of them — suddenly fell into place from just knowing who he is, even if back then he had no opportunity and no safe place to as much as think about trying to socially transition. just feeling like his authentic self for once, without the weight of others' preconceptions about all the arbitrary ways he's supposed to be. he might've been unable to tell anyone at that time but simply having that knowledge to himself was liberating from the years of having felt like there's sth wrong with him. liberating bc now he knew for a fact that there wasn't. how can this be wrong if it made him feel like himself for the first time maybe ever?
imagine him hesitantly knocking on his uncle's door in the middle of the night when he had no choice but to run away from home. imagine the surprise on Wayne's face and all the unyielding unquestioning trust and comfort he's got for him, so thorough and genuine that it only takes him a few days to come out despite the fear. and then Wayne's silence breaks into a question of what name his nephew would like to called then. the words startling soon-to-be-Eddie into a impulsive hug, which is returned with utmost care and with quiet thinking-out-loud rambling of whether Wayne's got any clothes that would fit his nephew and that he would feel comfortable in
imagine the joy when Eddie gets a fake ID from Reefer Rick one day
imagine him making friends with the rest of Corroded Coffin guys and, when he gathers the courage and trust to come out, being met with support, ranging from confusion and a promise to eventually get how any of it works and to respect Eddie's pronouns etc, to deep understanding that hardly needs words bc you know you're being seen for who you actually are
imagine Eddie working on his voice and ending up achieving some success partly thanks to singing along to his favorite songs and trying to learn harsh metal vocals and at first scaring everyone around by going over the top with them until he figures out ways to train his voice to be more masculine sounding without resorting to that kind of harshness (and developing multiple fun vocal stims on the way)
imagine Eddie getting together with Steve and as a bonus gaining the perfect person to get advice from when it comes to figuring out a workout routine for his purposes
imagine the relief of knowing there are multiple people who you can be your authentic self with and who love you for this and would never change a single thing about what makes you yourself
oof well, I kinda carried away "a bit" (meanwhile the Feels have only intensified further whoops) and these are in no particular order but I really hope you'll like this humble offering. have a restful fulfilling weekend💜
LIAM!!!! LIAM!!!!! I am always ready for transing the narrative (been in some gender struggles too so let’s be in this together 🤝) I’m going to be running commentary replying so if it’s incoherent or accidentally cover something said later I’m sorry!!
- the hair!! YES!!! I feel like he had long hair before and felt pushed into have short hair in order to be taken seriously in his identity but what he always really wanted to be was ‘just a boy with long hair’ and the more it grows the happier he gets becuase THIS!! THIS!!! Is who he feels like he should have always been!!! This feel RIGHT! When it gets past the length of being ‘acceptable’ for a boy and starts brushing his shoulders he hasn’t never felt more strongly that he is Right. That this is Who He Is, this is Eddie Munson and Eddie Munson is a societal expectation-dodging BOY
- THE ACCEPTANCE AND REALISATION!!! What if he was going around as a child saying kid stuff like ‘when will I grow a beard?’ And being hushed by his elders (before Wayne). Going along with what was given to him, be it toys or clothes because his family didn’t have a lot so he’s not going to ask for more but knowing that they didn’t feel right. That he was performing a character for these people and hoping it would be enough for them, for himself. It’s not, something still feels wrong and he can’t figure out. But then, then he gets the keys to the kingdom, he moves in with Wayne and Wayne gives him some money and sets him loose in the thrift shop. At the start he sifts through the girl’s rails but all of the sizes are wrong for him. So wayne just suggests the boys racks because hey it’s just T-shirts and we need to get you stuff that fits. He guides eddie to the plain T-shirts, not thinking much of it. Not thinking it’ll be a Realisation in the young mind of his nephew. Eddie goes home with 2 boys T-shirts that day and from then on gravitates to exclusively wearing them. Next thrift shop visit eddie makes a beeline to the boys section and doesn’t look back.
- AHHH WAYNE AND COMING OUT I LOVE YOUR VERSION!!! What about Wayne passing a couple of shirts on to Eddie? A hat too? And a belt because god knows Eddie’s buying the jeans that hide his hips and needs something to hold them up. Wayne starts calling eddie ‘son’ and ‘boy’. Every time it’s like Christmas lights have been turned on behind his eyes. He feels dizzy with it, can’t contain himself, has to clench his fists to stop himself from shaking becuase this? This feels right. It fees Correct and knowing Wayne is here with him is the ballast he needs to secure himself on this unpredictable ride.
-CORRODED COFFIN SAYING ITS SO METAL OF HIM. (I personally also hc Gareth as trans so I like to think that Jeff and Freak are always ready to be Boys and show them Boy Stuff. Like alongside band practice they had Boy Practice at the start and now they can burp the alphabet in harmony and can armpit fart guitar solos and play fight and are just GOOFY)
- eddie going to a gig or band practice and then the next morning waking up with a slightly wrecked voice that he /loves/. He surreptitiously tries to maintain it, shouting lyrics in his room and just screaming sometimes but it starts to get painful and he accepts he has to find a different way. He listens to the radio with Wayne, asks to go with him when Wayne’s work friends plan a couple of drinks in one of their yards. Eddie gets to go to a couple, gets to listen to Wayne’s country and rock radio stations. Gets to hear these men talking and tries out phrases he hears when he’s on his own, records them on a tape deck he found in the thrift by luck one day. Records and re-records until he gets it right. Until he can prank call principle Higgins and get shouted at down the phone ‘I’ll find out who your father is boy! He’ll have your hide!’ The peak is when he goes into scoops and gets everything he wanted ‘hey man, how’s it going?’ From the offensively cute sailor with the big hands and strawberry sweet smile
- WORKOUT SUPPORT STEVE. YES. YES ABSOLUTELY!!! Steve showing him that he can’t just hit upper body every day, that he has to get everywhere. That he needs to make his core thicker if he wants that boy look. That working on his quads and calves will help, he promises it won’t leave him a big butt and tiny waist. (Not unless he wants Steve’s routine, that boy is going to work on his ass-ets okay?) eddie doing his first full push up with Proper Form and feeling the muscles in his back move and thinks yes. This is Good. God knows he’s not great at sticking to it but when it serves a purpose and it means he gets to ogle his boyfriend? Kind of a win win
- TBE LAST POINT!!! Yes!!! Eddie living in subconscious fear for so long that he pushes the very notion of being a Boy down. so far Down and Away that he won’t ever let it see the light of day. Or so he thinks. He tells himself that he is fine, that this is fine. But it isn’t and he doesn’t know what feels wrong. Until it slowly starts to change at a glacial speed. He tries different things. Starting only in his room, makes jokes that he thinks he can get away with in front of Wayne. Pushes it further, does more Boy things with corroded coffin. Sees that it’s okay? They are okay with it? With how he is? Sees that Wayne just nods at him and doesn’t make a fuss? That Wayne’s friends don’t bay an eye somehow? (Sure some guys at work do, but Wayne makes sure they know where their opinions aren’t wanted. That Wayne and his group aren’t to be taken lightly on the topic of Wayne’s nephew)
Eddie experiencing so much acceptance and love and there being so venom in it. No ‘waiting’ for it all to pass and Eddie to go back to ‘normal’. Eddies never been normal and that’s a badge he starts to wear with pride. With defiance. Knowing that he has everyone he could ever need how could be not?
#LIAM !!!! if you got carried away then you swept me up with you#I LCOE THIS SO KUCH I LOVE IT!!#I love everything you said YHE FAKE ID!!! I JUST!!!#hed try so many things and practice and go over movements and voices that it starts to FLOW#and eventually he doesn’t what he sounded like before how he moved before#HE!!! DESERVES THR WORLD!!!!!#LIAM!!!!#thank you!!! thank you SO SO MCUB for sending this!!!#I am SO LUCKY to have received it!!#im so sorry my reply is messy you just got me so excited#oh wow I love him#I have been having increasing gender thoughts about multiple things and doubts and blehh but this is soothing me!!!#ALSO!! I got your other ask but ummm I want to keep that in my ask box so that it can’t possibly be misplaced#im so doubtful#of tumblrs tag system and I’m not being funny I’d genuinly would hate to lose that message#I’ve been having a Time with work and friends and life (just like Everyone else) and you just made me feel#like somebody cared or at least Noticed Me so yeah I’m sorry I’m#keeping it and saving it for the really and days becuase rsd and doubt and everything else is awful but you#said somethings that I cannot coherently express my gratitude for#becuase I am#bad with words 🫲🤡🫱#but all this to say thank you and you are just wonderful and incredible and thank you for sending me this and I’m#so in love with it#you are a kind and smart and interesting and funny and please don’t ever doubt that#okay oky sorry I am mushy with trans posts and Sunday scaries I’ll#just go to the boring tags now#eddie munson#trans eddie munson#transmasc eddie munson#ask
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no thoughts just au where nagito is a pianist
and idk maybe hajime is a singer aND AND MAYBE THEY GET INSPIRATION FROM EACH OTHER AND FALL IN LOVE YK???
#komahina#i’m starting to use tumblr as a place to post my intrusive thoughts#anyway 60k words enemies to lovers slow burn hurt/comfort#that was mainly a joke but if someone wants to do it then no one’s stopping you CERTAINLY NOT ME#atp if the idea clogs my head enough i’ll write it myself#sdr2#danganronpa 2#hinata x komaeda#komaeda x hinata#hinakoma#i also feel like hajime would have a soft and soothing voice#and nagito would be able to listen to his voice as if it were an instrument in of itself#i love them sm#maybe nagito finds hope through music and adores how music can reach multiple people and pull them from their darkest moments#so he loves music and hajime is like#well yes but i never really thought of it like that#so hajime sees nagito as more of an inspiration than a weird guy#then they get married smoochie mwah mwah xoxo
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i hope god loves me as much as you did
[cute kittys!!! by gabi on flickr; neighborhood #2 (laika) by arcade fire; goodnight sparky by @smile-files on tumblr; the fight is over by patrick mchale; my cat is sad by spencer madsen; a dog's midnight prayer by unknown; so big / so small by rachel bay jones; everyone i know (will die) by four eyes; the little prince by antoine de saint-exupéry; breathe (in the air) by pink floyd; sunpod by gustafer yellowgold; sweetie little jean by cage the elephant; cat dreaming by tiddler on flickr; untitled by roadarch; goodnight by whimsical animal; this is home by cavetown; untitled by @storieldraw on tumblr; plane crash blues (i can't play the piano) by phoebe bridgers; just take my wallet by jack stauber; death is nothing at all by henry scott holland; untitled by petfurniture on twitter; fading kitten syndrome by roar]
#melonposting#webweaving#death#pets#grief#loss#family#love#pet death#<- my posts aren't usually tagged this thoroughly... but webweaving posts tend to be#anyway... given how i've used my own art and own lyrics here this is clearly very personal...#ever since sparky was put to sleep in january i've thought a lot about the love of a family#and that in my position as youngest child i was in a similar position as a pet#beloved... doted on... kissed and hugged and cuddled with a love in every way unconditional...#but different. small. perpetually young and sensitive#and i keep thinking about how much we soothed sparky before he was put to sleep#and i keep thinking about how it's easier for me to fall asleep every night if i know someone is awake nearby#and i think of fading kitten syndrome by roar... a song so profoundly heartwrenching for me#and i picture myself fading away in some hospital bed but not fearing death because my parents are there and they love me#they love me so much i'm not afraid#and i think about how nervous i've always been and how much i've wanted my parents to comfort me#to the extent that they did and the extent they never knew how to#and i think of being tucked into bed and kissed and i fall asleep and never wake up. warm and safe forever#which is a thought stemming more from fatigue than suicidal ideation... a desire to rest. to stop fighting the tide for a moment#but then of course thinking of how much we cried over sparky. how much i cried over him#and how much my family has cried for my sake... worrying about me...#how could i peacefully sleep if they're crying over the bed i'm lying in?#but then would their tears not be a comfort? a sign of their undying love?#and so the train of thought goes. unresolved and unending. that's all this post is#i hope you like it? question mark?
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OKAY SORRY LAST POST FOR THE NIGHT
Id imagine that when it’s Hadina bedtime they usually cuddle right?? So they usually alternate between big and little spoon but I honestly think Hades prefers being little spoon so that way whenever he lays on Rina’s chest he can hear her heartbeat 💗 so that he knows she’s still there and is safe 😭 GAAHSHEHJSJE THEYRE SO POOKIECORE BRUH AND THIS IS ESPECIALLY CUTE BECAUSE ID IMAGINE HADES DOESNT HAVE A HEART OBVIOUSLY SO IT PROBABLY FEELS FOREIGN TO HIM BUT STILL ODDLY COMFORTING
#SORRY CHAT I CANT HELP MYSELF THEYRE SO CUTEE#self ship#self ship rambles#hades#disney hades#hades Disney#i 💙 blue men#💙hadina⭐️#🖇pumpkinzz bs selfships💗#little rambles#oc x canon#oc x canon rambles#s/i x f/o#disney f/o#OKAY SORRY I COULDNT HELP MYSELF IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS EACH NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO BED#HE WOULD ALSO TO THE SAME WITH HER BREATHING BUT HE LOVES TO HEAR THE RHYTHM OF HER HEARTBEAT IT SOOTHES HIM#AGAHSHE THEMMM 💗💗💗💗💗#TSORRY THIS IS GOOD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH
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I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day
#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute#so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much#but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it#she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan#I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning#and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell#like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him#and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out#was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over#blahhhhhh#and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
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HI LEGEND
im a lurker from ao3 and obsessed with your works and even more obsessed finding ur tumblr,,,your characterization of suguru makes the world go round ok. he’s everything to me these days, thank you for blessing us with your wonderful writing<3. Everything about suguru is so warm and fuzzy and so good to his sweet baby 🥹.
(cw: dissociation) i feel like he would be so good to his angel that struggles w dissociation and keeps her grounded. always giving squeezes, notices the signs when it happens. he’d help you through it and be so comforting :( the way i would ugly sob if it happened fucking too LSDKSK. I hope all is well and giving you a big hug!
-🗿 anon
HELLO
This ask made me so happy! Hello lurker from archive of our own,, WAHH I’m so glad you like my work that really makes my week honestly. AND SUGURU,, yeah he means so much to me IDJXODJDOKDKD IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY CHARACTERIZATION OF HIM to Me I think he is a very soft boy, even in canon when he defected he still did it out of love,, i love writing him honestly. I also really like writing Gojo too though. I think I like writing Suguru because it makes me Flustered but I like writing Gojo cause I feel like our sense of humor is very similar. AND THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME BY READING! Yes yes I concur he really is so sweet to his baby. In my Heart and Soul I just know he would melt for you and do anything for you. I think his love is very. Devotion based. He would devote his life to you, and that’s so sexy of him.
AND. You have no idea how I reacted to the second half of your ask, well I mean all of it but like. You are in my Head. I’ve actually thought about that at length with all my blorbos, but he takes up the biggest residence for that idea. I actually have one or two WIPs with poly satosugu where they care for you during a mental health episode, I don’t think any of them are dissociation but. I’ve never posted them just because it almost feels Too vulnerable,, but I struggle with dissociation. Like. Very badly. KDJKFDKKDKDJDJ I think the thing with Suguru is he would be so good for you during bad mental health episodes, cause he knows what it feels like. He’d be able to notice all the small details. But yes dissociation is a very interesting topic for him. I think Suguru as a whole is a very Grounded character, and I mean we kinda see that in the show how he keeps Gojo’s feet on the ground. You’re so right though he would absolutely try to keep you Here. And he wouldn’t make you feel weird about it. I feel like when I’m dissociating I feel. Crazy KNDKDKDKDK but I think he would be very in tune and calm and treat you Normally, except he always has a hand on you and helps you do grounding exercises. Maybe stands in front of you so you can See him while he holds your face :(( he also would step up. I think he’s dominant generally speaking but I think if he noticed you dissociating he would automatically do all the talking if other people were around and guide you places.
I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU TOO I AM SENDING YOU A BIG HUG WITH CHOCOLATE AND MAYBE A TEDDY BEAR
#asks#🗿#did you know you are my first emoji anon#it’s true#this ask really made me so happy you have no idea#I am so grateful to have people like you read my work#I think sometimes as a writer you can get into the habit of writing something and posting it then Thats it#but then you get comments from people and it’s like Oh. People are actually reading my work#and have thoughts about it#I am so glad we agree on the characterization of suguru#and the dissociation thought is so good I think I will be thinking about that for the next month#I also would sob hysterically if suguru took care of me#I think he takes care of you all the time but even more so during those times#he is so important to me#so is Gojo but we aren’t talking about him#I love thinking about characters taking care of you during times you’re having an episode#I find it very soothing#thank you for this ask#I can’t wait to write more for you and to see what you think#tw dissociation#tw mental illness
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