#he sounds like hes about to start talking about crypto at any time

[fagknowledge]

Do NOT let that divorcee become God. He's never gonna shut the fuck up about Bitcoin if he becomes God

[stinkysam]

Choi Subong “Thanos” - No regrets.

Warning : canon typical violence, death, blood, drug use.

Genre : angst

Synopsis : Thanos, your friend of a few years, finds you after the green light red light and asks you to team up with him. Nothing bad can happen, right ?

Reader : male (you/yours)

A/N : bold is in English // 500 million won = 342 000$ // "No winner" was an exception so idk what this one is…

You have known Thanos for a few years now and you quickly became vital for each other, like attached to the hip and somehow along the way, feelings began to bloom, though neither of you ever acted on them.

Not that he’s shy, far from it, he even would’ve asked you out the second he realized his love for you. But then he remembered how badly the Korean people could react to a public figure coming out as queer, making it harder for him to reach his goal to become a popular rapper in Korea, no, the whole world.

So he waited, and waited, hoping to move on. But you were constantly with him, maybe he should’ve stopped inviting you at the rap contest he was participating in or his few concerts, cheering for him with his fans.

Moving on was hard, if not impossible.

Then, during the finals of the show he was participating in, he forgot the lyrics to his rap and lost. And it kept going downhill, to the point of losing everything on crypto money and being indebted of 500 million won more to the already big debt he had. Not seeing an end to it, the relentlessness of life with his feelings, dreams, and means, Thanos walked to a bridge, considering jumping before a man approached him to play a game of ddakji.

And so he found himself in a strange place with hundreds of people and armed guards with masks.

He thought he’d just have to play the games and win and waltz out of here debts free, but the stakes were higher than what he had thought after seeing the pretty player 196 die from a headshot after moving during the green light red light game.

Starting to panic, he popped a colored pill from his cross and swallowed it, waiting for its quick effects. He didn’t have to wait much and within a minute he was running dancing with a big smile on his face, even pushing to death three people before him.

It’s after the 5 minute timer that he saw you, catching your breath with wide eyes as you looked around in shock. What the fuck just happened ? You had some blood on your face and clothes, yet, Thanos still found you good looking, the blood not disturbing him.

He approached you, pushing anyone on his way and without waiting for you to notice him, he began to talk.

“What are you doing here ? You have debts ?” He said, tapping your shoulder.

Your eyes widened again at the sound of his voice as you looked at him, blinking surprised.

“Huh ? T ?” You said as he posed at the sound of his nickname. You had seen him on the screen earlier, but you didn’t expect to actually find him here.

“Das me, yea.” He posed one last time before continuing speaking. “How much ?”

“Huh ?”

“Your debts.”

“Why would I tell you ? You didn’t tell me how you lost all your shit.”

“Crypto money.” He replied without missing a beat.

You blinked at him, surprised, and pointed at him.

“You… too ?”

“MG Coin got you too ?” He looked at you with an equally surprised face.

“What ? No. Who ? I’m just shit at understanding how it works.” You robbed your forehead, remembering with irritation all your actions that led you here.

“Yeah and you’re fucking stubborn, I can see you trying and trying even after losing multiple times.”

“I don’t want any comments from you, didn’t you do the same ?”

“Nope ! Went all-in. In one go !” He said, moving his hands around as if to look cool.

You sighed before letting out a small laugh.

“This isn’t a contest but I feel like you’re winning and not in a good way.”

He smirked clearly not caring about your last words, he had won, that’s what mattered.

“Wanna play together, my bro ? I already have a small group, I can squeeze you in.” He asked, crossing his arms before raising one hand in the air, ready to dap you.

“Sure, what’s the worst that could happen ?” You replied, dapping him.

Since then, you stayed with Thanos and the group he made himself. A fan, a new friend that he kept butchering the name of, a shy guy and a cool girl.

The games weren’t easy even if it made you remember your childhood, but even with death flying around all of you, Thanos and soon Namgyu made things less intense.

The third game was over and you had survived once more. Then as planned the vote of the day came but ended in a tie to which the square guard told everyone another vote was coming but to take a break before it would start.

A lot of people from both sides went to the bathroom while you stayed on one of the beds of your now reduced group. The cool girl and shy guy had voted X, no longer wanting to play the games, and the fan, Gyeongsu, was dead, so only you, Thanos and Namgyu remained. But after 5 long minutes you started to wonder what was taking them so long to just take a shit. So you stood up and asked to be let out to go to the bathroom, a guard accompanying you.

As you finally approached the door, Minsu rushed out, running past you. Then you heard commotion and as you opened the door…

Chaos.

Everyone was at each other’s throat, punching, kicking and hitting one another.

You saw Thanos on player 333 as they strangled each other while he cursed in both Korean and English. Quickly you went to grab him, wanting to get out of here as fast as possible, but Thanos swiftly pushed you away, making you land on your ass.

As you moved and tried to stay out of the way of everyone you noticed player 333 pulling a silver thing out of his pocket and planting it in Thanos’ throat. You yelled, trying to get closer but before you could grab him, player 333 had stabbed him a second time before pushing him away and hiding inside the toilet stall, locking it.

“Fuck !”

You grabbed Thanos, cursing to yourself, and hid in the second toilet. His hand was shaking against his throat, holding the fork, blood spilling between his fingers. You moved his hand, placing yours instead, trying to stop the wounds from bleeding.

You had tears in your eyes as you began to panic, his were wide as he tried to breathe and cough out the blood, choking on it.

“Fuck dude !” You cried out, you could feel his heartbeat on the palm of your hand. “Why did you do this when I’m not here !”

You pulled him closer, shaking, his head resting on your chest as he continued to choke, his heartbeat slowing down dangerously.

“You fucking dumbass.” You didn’t know what to do, your favorite person was dying and you couldn’t do anything to help him.

He looked at you with horror as he realized what was going to inevitably happen, one hand grabbing your arm while the other went to your cheek, trembling, weakly caressing it, smudging blood on your skin.

“I” He managed to get out, coughing up blood on himself and your clothes, struggling, looking at you, scared. It was now or never, he thought. “I lo- …yo-” He tried to articulate, though panic, blood and pain were making it difficult.

You let out a frustrated yell before planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Fuck you, Subong ! Tell me when you survive this ! You can survive this, right, it’s just a fork ! Don’t fucking die, man !” As you cried, your tears fell on his face as slowly his eyes lost their light.

His heart had stopped beating, his hands falling to his sides. Thanos was no longer shaking and struggling against you but blood was still pooling by your hand and clothes.

You closed your eyes, his dead ones looking right at you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Your body kept shaking as you held him tightly against you, too scared to get out, waiting for the fight to stop, for everything to end.

When it finally died out, you heard a knock, making you jump.

“Who’s that ?” You asked, your voice hoarse, quiet, it was evident you were still crying.

“Me. Namgyu. Is he… ?”

You unlocked the door, wiping your tears quickly, putting Thanos’ blood on your face inadvertently.

“Shit !” Namgyu kneeled, hands moving against Thanos’ shoulders. “That fucking MG Coin…”

And then, he pulled the fork out of his throat, from between your fingers, more blood gushing out. It almost made you puke in your mouth.

“For revenge.” He said with a weak smile, carefully hidding the bloody fork in his clothes. “Do you think… I can take this too ?” He pointed to the big cross Thanos had around his neck. “It’s just- You know…”

He gave you another small smile before unlocking the necklace and taking it before you could say anything. You didn’t have a good reason to stop him anyway.

“Once it’s empty, give it to me, okay ?” You finally said and he nodded slowly.

Then the bathroom door creaked open, the guards were there. Big guns and human sized black boxes to take in the casualties.

“Come on, let’s go.” Namgyu said quietly, pulling you by your elbow.

You didn’t want to leave, not ready to abandon Thanos’ body. But you had to, so you closed his eyes before slowly getting up as you laid him on the stained ground. Namgyu held you close, helping you walk away, the others followed you quietly, escorted by the armed guards.

When you entered the lobby, defeated and mentally annihilated, Namgyu immediately alerted the others of what had happened while you slowly realized you were drenched in Thanos’ blood, with no possibility to shower or change clothes. You felt sick, and while people approached as the two groups began to argue once more, you sat on Thanos’ bed, eyes empty.

Now, you really wanted out.

[bazoonga-bazinga]

watching tua s4 knowing fully how its going to disappoint me rn and something that keeps bothering me is just how awful it is that they dont show what happens during the 6 year time skip.

like in season 2 we get to see an abridged version of how everyone got to where they are. this allowed for me as viewer to at least undertsand the reasoning behind the siblings' actions and conflicts. but in season 4 there is just none of that.

instead we only get to see the after of the timeskip. Whatever bits we do hear abt the time in between are extremly limited because they are things that are told to us from biased/flawed/one-sided perspectives. I as a viewer do not get a clear idea of why any of the 8 charcters of the main cast change the way they do becuase i am never shown how this change ocurred. its more i am told things and have to accept because of the 6 year gap.

lila and diego's strained marriage is actually i think the only they showed without telling to an extent. but it still would have also been nice to see thier struggles transitioning to suburbia and would also aid me to better understand why neither of them tried to find an adequate balance in the 6 years. also like why is diego working as a delivery driver? in my mind it makes more sense for him to be a mediocre private investgator or something like that? idk just some more context behind the tension and thier decsions (especially lila dear god dont even get me started) would have been wonderful

viktor's journey to Canada and his distancing from the others sounded interesting and i would have loved to see that on screen. he clearly is unable to form long lasting intamate relationships and showing his life in the time gap would have been a great way to show his journey of accepting the loss of sissy.

allison was definitely hit hard by the lack of explanation. i understand the scheduling issues with raymond's actor but it truly was a heavy blow to season 3 allison actions when they just said he left with no other explanation. most of her conflicts in season 3 were motivated by the loss of claire and raymond and you are telling me she just lost 50% of that a year afterwards? and like this doesnt get mentioned until episode 3??

i actually enjoyed klaus's shift to a risk averse person and it did make sense to me after losing his immortality to become more aware of not only his but his loved ones mortality. the biggest glaring issue is the one everyone has talked about: the lack of dave. i think if they had shown klaus trying to find info on dave and/or even visiting his grave in the timeskip it would been fine with me that he wouldn't mention dave that much. but the dog tags being on screen and him not saying anything is actually inasne??? also it sounds like there was definitely more to his sobriety than what they have told sad that we didnt get to see that storyline....

everyone has said thier piece on how luther just mentioning sloane and then no other explanation is actually awful. like a simple flashback fo luther searching and finding sloane living a different life would have been better than them giving us nothing💀

ben i actually have nothing to say...it would have been silly to see the crypto scam ig. also an explanation of why they even showed the other ben the post credit of the s3 finale i think is warranted. like even a mention of yeah there is probably another ben who belongs to this universe walking around would have been okay ig

five oh where to even begin.... first of all how tf does a person who isnt even in thier 20s even get a gig at the cia. i know they said some bullahit abt five being a part of a relative young group/recruit (cant remember the exact wording) but like a person who is younger than 19 getting a job at the cia is a bit much. also i actually refuse to belive that five wouldn't have figured out his boss was part of the keepers there is just no way. after the handler and reggie i refuse to belive that five would lose his suspicion towards authority figures. i think the only authority figure he has ever listened to was the founder version of himself and even that took time. like if you want me to believe that bs then show me how five turned his brain into mush in the 6 year time skip. either that or show how me his loneliness in those six year because from what i have right now five worked at the cia and that is it nothing else. like from what i have been told by the show nothing else happended to him besides working. which if thier implication is that he was only working and drifted apart from his siblings that message was not clear enough to me as viewer and would have been alot clearer if i was shown such as thing.

[3d-wifey]

can i get smut for Chad and Ethan from scream 6

Pairing: Chad x Reader x Ethan

Word Count: 1.5k

Warning: smut obvi, exhibitionism, voyeur! Chad, p in v smut, dubcon bc everyone is drunk, switch!reader, switch!Ethan, & dom!Chad

A/N: I'm in love with Jack Champion. There. I said it. But, trust, I will have him. Give me like, until August 17th, 2023. I'll come back with an update.

You don't recognize the guy talking to you.

It could be the alcohol, but he's been talking for what feels like hours and you still don't recognize him. You don't even remember how he cornered you like this, your back against the wall and his arm leaning beside your head.

One second, you were waiting for Ethan to come back from the bathroom, and the next, this guy starts talking to you about...what is he talking to you about?

"Wh-wait," you hold your hand up to stop him, "What are you talking about?"

He blinks at you for a second like you're the one not making sense.

"Oh, uh, crypto. The currency?" He stares at you like he's waiting for it to dawn on you. You stare back.

"Oh. Okay." you bring your cup of Malibu up to your mouth so you don't have to keep talking. You're pretty sure you've heard that word from Ethan before.

Ethan.

You look around the room for your boyfriend now that you remember you have one and the guy starts talking to you again.

It's dark in the basement you're in and the swarm of dancing bodies makes it almost impossible to see.

"'Ave you seen my girlfriend?" You turn to the voice and see a boy drunkenly talking to a dancing couple. You make out the curly hair and recognize him instantly. You pass your cup to the guy.

"Ethan!" He turns to you and grins. It takes him three strides to get to you and you immediately latch onto him. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck and his hands go to your waist.

"What? Is he like your boyfriend or something?" The guy behind you scoffs. You forgot all about him.

"Oh! Ethan, this is..." You blank on his name. Wait. Did you ever know it?

"Jack." He supplies.

"Jack! And Jack, this is Ethan." You finish with a smile. Now, maybe Ethan can translate whatever the hell Jack was talking about. "He was talking to me about krypton—"

"Crypto.”

"—Crypto."

Ethan hones in on the arm Jack has propped up by your head and his eyes go hard in a way you've never seen before. If you didn't know any better, you would think he sobered up.

"But I'm sure he's done talking, right?" He asks, but it doesn't really sound like a question. The guy—Jack, tries to size him up, but Ethan's taller than him. And you finally convinced him to wear that shirt you liked that showed off his arms.

"Yeah, whatever. Bitch was ugly anyway." He stomps away. You didn't catch that last part, but Ethan did.

He stares after him with that same look on his face. It makes you uneasy, but it could just be the rum.

"Missed you." You play with his hair and that draws his gaze back to you. He laughs.

"Been looking for you for like," he pauses for a second and thinks, "for like a really long time."

"'M here now. So, what're you gonna do with me?" You press up against him and feel something pressing into your stomach. You're happy to know he's just as needy as you.

You've always been a touchy drunk, but it's only tripled since you started dating him. And Ethan, who is already clingy, always relishes in your affection. You take his hand and slide it up your thigh, under the hem of your dress, and to your bare pussy.

"No underwear." He says into your hair, sliding his middle finger up and down your slit. Your thighs twitch around his hand.

"Easy access." You can't stop yourself from humping against his hand and you gasp when your movements make the tip of his finger dip inside of you. You're so wet that he doesn't even have to wait to push his ring finger in with his middle.

"That feel good?" He asks while you moan into his mouth when he curls his thick fingers along your walls. You can't even think of a response other than a moan. The sound of him pistoning his fingers inside of you is loud to your own ears but drowned out by the music.

You whine when he pulls his hand away.

"C'mere." He takes your hand and holds it tight as he pulls you through the crowd, but not towards the stairs. He pulls you further into the basement to a corner with a vacant couch.

It's darker here, secluded. He turns back to you with a boyish smile and you smirk. You push him onto the couch and you don't wait for him to settle before you straddle his thighs.

You kiss up his neck and nip at his jaw. It's his turn to whine when you pull away.

You hook your fingers under his waistband. "Can I?"

He nods his head enthusiastically. "Definitely. Yes, yeah."

You unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper. He hisses as you pull him out through the slit in his boxers. He's warm and heavy in your hand.

His chest heaves and he looks up at you with his big, brown eyes as you lightly trail your nail along the vein that runs up his shaft. You can just make out how flushed his tip is and you rub your finger across it.

"You're so wet." You giggle and he bucks into your hand. You could keep teasing him, but you're just as desperate as him.

You hike your dress up and line his head up with your slit. You lower yourself down slowly, then all at once. Ethan lets out a punched-out breath and his hands hold onto your thighs. Blunted nails dig into your skin and you rise up and down.

"You love me, baby?" He nods into your neck, arms wrapped tight around your back. You both grind against each other and he grabs your hips moving you against him harder and faster than you could have alone.

You throw your head back with a moan while he mumbles incoherently into your neck. "So good. You feel so good."

"Guys!" You look over your shoulder and see Chad pushing through the crowd, a bottle of vodka he brought with him to the party in hand. "I've been looking all over for you." He grins down at the two of you.

"Hi, Chad." You greet him breathlessly with a dopey grin and he pauses. You bite your lip when Ethan bucks up into you and Chad's eyes go to your mouth.

"You two been over here the entire time?" You nod and you and Ethan both look up at him with lidded eyes, pupils blown.

The couch bounces, moving you and Ethan as Chad sits beside you. He's so close that his thigh presses against yours and Ethan fidgets under you.

You look down at him and he's flushed a pretty red under the neon lights.

"Pretty boy." You say and soothe your thumb across his cheek as he half-heartedly complains. You know he loves the attention.

Chad takes the cap off the bottle and takes it to the head. You track the way his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows and Ethan's grip on your hips tighten.

"Wanna shot?" He asks you and you nod. "Open." He says and you do. You tip your head back and open your mouth wide enough for him to pour the Svedka in. It burns on the way down, making your head spin and chest warm.

"Ethan?"

"Ye–yeah, yeah," he clears his throat, "I'll take a shot." Ethan opens his mouth like you did, but a little dribbles out the side of his mouth and down his chin. You lean forward to lick it up and he almost chokes. You can't help it when you start rocking back and forth, he's just so deep inside of you.

Chad laughs and you both look at him confused.

"You're not exactly being subtle." He gives a pointed look to where your dress hides where you and Ethan are connected. You clench around him and he lays his head along the back of the couch, eyes closed and lips parted.

"Well," he leans back and puts his arm behind Ethan's head, "Don't stop now." You look back to Ethan and you both have the same dumbfounded look on your faces. You're not against it and Ethan shrugs. Which is surprising, since he's definitely the jealous type.

You're hesitant at first, but as soon you rise, you forget all about being watched. You drop back down and gasp.

"Fuck," Ethan swears as you ride him. Your thighs already burn, but you push through it.

You open your eyes at the feeling of your dress lifting. His eyes are locked on where you're leaving a circle of white at the base of Ethan's dick.

"You're creamin' on him." He grins up at you like he's giving commentary on a play and not on how wet you are. "Here, bite." You moan at the command. He brings the hem of your dress to your mouth and you bite down.

"I wanna enjoy the view."

[blood-n-candy]

MORE PRESSURE HEADCANONS

Round two of my Pressure headcanons! My design for M.A.H.C.T./Noel is coming soon, for now have the headcanons I made for it. Here we go!!!!

EYEFESTATION (Any pronouns/Sea/Fang/Bite)

34 years old

AFAB librafeminine monstergender, aromantic omnisexual

Used to aspire to become a pop punk star on Tiktok, made a deal with Mr. Lopee in 2017 to obtain the power to psychologically force people to pay attention to them and praise them, with the condition they wouldn't abuse it. She eventually broke the deal, and in 2020 Mr. Lopee sold her out to Urbanshade through an anonymous report

Was born a premie baby, but still managed to grow at the same size as Angler's

Sea and p.A.I.nter are basically online friends who finally got to meet irl. Between 2018 and 2022, they knew each other on BloxTwitter; their irl meeting was incredibly emotional for Eyefest because p.A.I.nter abruptly stopped being active and this made her very worried

P.A.I.NTER (He/They/Web/Png/Jpeg/Pix(el)/.txt/Paint)

30 years old

Tech and web-related xeno hoarder, biromantic

Years of mining crypto (yes even when he was a minor) took its toll on his physical health. Now web can barely walk and mostly uses a wheelchair to move around; has chronic muscle and joint pain, sleeping problems and a shitton of trauma

Between 2018 and 2023, the company that used .txt switched them from mining to secretary. The last year before Urbanshade, p.A.I.nter was caught having contacts outside and completely lost his privacy, having someone behind him almost all of the time

Gets cold easily, wears cozy clothes all of the time

Doesn't really want to interact with the Deepsea Fish squad, pix thinks they're a bunch of dangerous weirdos (especially Blitz and Pandemonium). Respects better Chainsmoker tho, kelp is in the clear for the hacking genius

NICOLE aka NOT-SO IMAGINARY FRIEND (It/She)

Technically ageless, looks and sounds like she's in her mid 20s

Programmed by the manufacturer to be a Cis Woman and sex and romance-repulsed aroace

All remotes summon her, it just makes her visible to more people at the same time. However, it can manifest on its own if no one has used a remote in the last 48 hours

Ghost-like in nature, it cannot physically interact with anything with some exceptions. Some of which include: the person who summoned her, activated remotes, other objects made specifically for it by the manufacturer

It knows what's causing the fumes in the Paranoia Boxes, and it's the same thing in both the free box and the one inside Chainsmoker. However, that's all she can says without getting in danger for sharing too much...

She knows so many things about everyday life from the late 1920s and onwards. I wonder why...

NOËL aka MY ANALOG HORROR CHRISTMAS TREE (It/Gift/Light/Holly/Snow/Analog/Footage)

Unknown age, it doesn't really care but insists on celebrating its birthday on December 21th "to not take up space for the best day of the year". Sounds in hollys late 20s

Analogue horror, winter and Christmas-related xenos that do not involve any of the media involved in its incidents, aceflux polysexual

Talks about how characters such as Santa Claus and Rudolph "usurped the vital role of the christmas tree in the holiday lifestyle". Noël indeed believes snow "saved" Christmas (the document says otherwise 💀)

Only breaches containment from Late November until early January to organize the entirety of Christmas season in the Blacksite: it puts on the decor at the start and takes them off at the end, to give regular gifts on Christmas and snacks on Boxing Day, and to collect gifts for its birthday

Speaking of Noël's birthday, you do benefit from giving analog something. You leave the gift at the door of your office or containment cell, and the gift holly will give you few days later will be exactly what you've wanted! And of course, not making a present means getting either coal or an ugly sweater

[thebestpartofwakingup]

Clone high season 2 episode concepts that would've actually been fun/cool

Abe tries to get into "real magic" to impress Joan by hanging out with Aleister Crowley and Arthur Conan Doyle. Jokes about people being too into Harry Potter being lame, jokes about paranormal teen shows a la Sabrina, etc.

Ronald Reagan and Nixon gets JFK into presidential themed crypto

Mean Girls episode parody about the Salem Witch trials or Bloody Queen Mary. They write themselves.

Episode where the main cast keep finding dead bodies, basically tripping over them, parody of teen murder mysteries, twist ending that the bodies are all failed/early clones (like the clone equivalent of a stillbirth. there was no murder)

Yellow Jackets Parody episode. the bus is out of gas or something and they're stuck in a large parking lot but act like they're in the woods.

Traveling championship episode. Debate team has to compete against high school where all the students are robots programmed to behave like the greatest scientists/leaders of all time

Trans episode parody. Abe realizes he isn't aligned with the modern republican party anymore and is therefore a Democrat, treated as a self-aware bad analogy maybe to the point of other characters finding it tasteless/annoying/Abe looking for attention

Cyberbullying episode parody, bonus points if it's gossip girl

Secret cousin/twin parody episode --- obvious starting point would be like. Anastasia because of how many people famously claimed to be her.

Supernatural teen romance parody episode. Abe tries to become a vampire with like Edgar Allen Poe or someone to impress Joan.

"Save the community center" episode --- This could be a great Harriet focused episode about like a bake sale or something to fund the arts but everyone is over exaggerating the stakes and the drama of being/not being a good baker. "My grandmother used to bake these cookies for me.....until she DIED" "My mother baked these cookies for me everyday I was in the hospital after falling out of that helicopter and they gave me the strength to survive" "I can't bake....my mom was always too busy with her business to teach me....." etc.

Big Mouth/Sex Ed parody episode. I think it would be really funny if THIS had been their technology episode, like getting a computer virus is treated like getting a STD and the cast talk about browsing the internet like it's casual sex, etc.

parody of those tasteless episodes about how like bullying leads to school shootings. Have like Abe or Joan or someone try to reach out to Napoleon or someone because they eat alone at lunch and because they think it's silly and mean everyone is afraid of them but then they are just like a violent maniac already. the solution is to get rid of him.

this might sound dumb but remember that one episode of jimmy neutron where jimmy was banned from the science fair for being too smart and killing the morale of any other student interested in participating? What if Clone High did that but as like a parody of anti-trans sports legislation. All the cloned scientists are banned from the science fair because it's an unfair advantage. All the Politian clones are banned from debate club, etc.

Social media/parasocial relationships parody episode where like JFK and Abe become obsessed with one another's online accounts not knowing it's them, despite Joan repeatedly telling them this, it becomes completely unhealthy but then whenever they do hang out together face-to-face they hate it and decide the parasocial relationship was better actually.

PRANK YOUTUBE/TIKTOK PARODY EPISODE ABOUT DB COOPER AND HOUDINI COME ON COME ON COME ON THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS

[mdhwrites]

How Did I Get into Analysis?

My brother and I talked a bit a couple days ago about the era of online review that we were first introduced to analysis with. We JUST missed AVGN but we were neck deep within the wave of criticism that came afterwards. To us, it wasn't the style pioneered by Cinemassacre (who unfortunately I never got into) but the style of Channel Awesome who back in college, almost a decade ago, I was HUGE into.

But that's not technically how I began. It's also definitely not what I prefer nowadays, nor for the past half decade at least. Before I actually get into the fun background of what caused me first to start using my critical eye, albeit by no means honing it, I just want to let you know some of the video essayists that I do listen to nowadays in case you want to see my inspirations. (This part is longer than I expected so if you want to skip to the silly story, just jump over to when I use bold text)

Linkara: Of the old Channel Awesome style, I think Linkara is potentially the best that style can be without morphing into something different. I admittedly am not a huge comics person but I've relistened to a lot of his coverage of the bigger events a lot of the time and he's just really good at what he does while being genuinely funny and unapologetic of the style he uses. He never got defensive unlike someone.

Todd in The Shadows: This is the ONLY person I listen to regularly still from back in those days. I drop everything when I see a new TiTS video. You might think that makes him beat Linkara in the style but it's not. He hasn't technically altered his format drastically since he began but I would rarely call him a reviewer. It's not even the majority of his content nowadays. I would put him more as a documentarian and as someone who loves himself some history, I genuinely love what he does. Speaking of documentarians though:

Defunctland: If you have watched any video analyzing theme parks, you've probably heard about this channel. He goes over the history of no longer running theme parks, television shows, etc. For the Disney fans in my audience, I highly recommend his video on the Disney Channel theme but honestly, all of his stuff is good.

Noah Caldwell Gervais: Before I move away from the historical essayists, I would be remiss to mention Noah. I don't watch his travelogues but he's expanded my knowledge on so many game series that I will never touch due to my own tastes. It's a little outdated now but a real highlight for me is his Call of Duty videos where he actually examines the stories and themes of the games and their single player modes and isn't uncritical of the franchise but also isn't blindly shitting on it either. He's a fan for a reason. Another akin to that is his more recent Gears of War series.

Folding Ideas: You can actually see on my blog when I got into this channel. The whole "Put a pin it it?" I did in a blog or two? Yeah, that's straight up just stolen from his 50 Shades of Gray reviews. He does a lot of stuff on scams, including crypto, and is very good.

HBomberguy: The newest addition to my theoretical playlist, I got into his stuff with the video about the Ooph sound and its origins. Just a solid essayist with good delivery and interesting topics.

New Frame Plus: I feel bad for almost forgetting about the ever delightful Dan Floyd. I followed him after he moved on from his previous channel and like 99% of what I know about animation comes from him. When I criticize how Amity adopts a silhouette that's a bit too close to Luz's in S2? Yeah, that's only possible for me because of his video about the subject. He also has great credentials for talking about this stuff as an ex-Pixar animator who has done lots of other work in television, movies and even does animation in games nowadays. He's also a delightful Let's Player who is one of the few of those I still follow.

That went on way too long.

So what actually started me on all of this if not Channel Awesome? What first dragged me into overthinking everything? Besides the fact that my brain already had a hard time ever just shutting up of course. Well that answer is shockingly simple if not extremely embarrassing:

The Bronalysis community. The Brony Analysts. That is not a joke. I actually have a bizarrely vivid memory of one of the first proper reviews of anything I ever watched being a review of the fan made episode of My Little Pony featuring a blind filly who's talent had to do with snow.

Which also highlights why it's embarrassing... But does make a sort of sense. My Little Pony was the first time I was ever part of a fandom. It was the first time I got that deeply invested in a work to even want to discuss it in depth with other people. Before then, I never really had an urge to go and seek out such content because Youtube for me was mostly for sillier things like silly videos about Naruto, AMVs and Dragonball Z abridged. Admittedly, part of this comes from being later to the internet than some of my peers. I was in middle school when I started understanding what the internet was and didn't have my own laptop until High School. A lot of it was just that I didn't use things like Youtube much, even while still being the same sort of nerd I've always been.

And what do I think looking back on those early days? I mean... They were ROUGH. And I by no means was immune to it. I've stated before that part of why I don't do individual episode reviews is because I eventually found them kind of tedious but more than that: Shallow. It's hard to have something deep to say about every episode of a work unless it's a genuine masterpiece. I've been watching Frieren with my brother and while I adore that show, I think it is genuinely incredible in almost every way, there are still episodes of it where I would go, "This is good. To say more would just be me repeating statements I've already made about the work."

Recap and snark was the name of the game back then though. It's why they were called reviews after all because that's always been easier than critique or a deep dive. A bad or lackluster review is just easy to make since you lay down what the plot of the work is, snark on a few elements and then give a recap of your thoughts at the end. It's probably part of why some people like Doug Walker used it as much as a vehicle for their own talents as comedians and writers rather than just how good of an analyst they were because, well, that's what they were more passionate about but they also did reviews.

This isn't to say that there isn't still snark or comedy or even some amount of personal validation to more recent essayists. The video I recommended for Defunctland is genuinely a documentary and also has him use his worries about if he'll be considered one or just some Youtube guy someday as the framing. One could mock him for that, he even fears it in the video, but the difference is that even if you ignore that component, ignore his personality, the information and depth of knowledge and research on the topic is good enough to still warrant watching the work. That wasn't always something you could always say about analysis a decade ago, not the big channels at least. A lot more of them were personality driven, not driven by how good the reviews were as reviews.

It's all just interesting to look back on for me, especially while I've stayed casual in my analysis. I may write full on essays at times for a blog but I am no video essayist. I do not do the sort of research that's required for such things which does make my stuff much more opinion based and what advice I personally feel is good without the depth of wisdom to be an authority on it. At least I don't plagiarize though? XD But I have always said that I analyze things second to me being a writer and I still hold firm to that so I'm fine with that being where I keep things, bare minimum for now. I care much more about being seen as a true storyteller, rather than simply a delusional fanfic writer, than I do of ever being seen as some grand critic.

Just felt like sharing tonight. Thank you for reading and see you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[jimbuchan]

Hide In The Bushes And Watch

Back in 2013 at a Conference in San Jose, a man was giving a presentation on Bitcoin Neutrality to a small handful of attendees. When he began talking, some of these folks started to walk out, leaving rows and rows of chairs unoccupied, which for many of us, would be a humiliating experience. While continuing to talk as though there were hundreds of intent listeners to his topic, the reality is that there were only about 5 people casually taking in the message. Yes, it was early days for Bitcoin, and thus, the belief level was not at a fever pitch during this time when BTC was at about $100. However, the fundamentals and decentralized nature of Bitcoin has not changed since Andreas Antonopoulos gave that speech... only the value. Lost Opportunity The true value placed on an asset, crypto or otherwise, is grounded in belief and fact... both of which need to be considered if there is to be any chance of success. Many other attributes fall into either of these two criteria, with risk being one of them, but this is not a guiding principle... rather just par for the course. If you have no belief, even though the facts are not in dispute, no possible solution can ever reach the boiling point, and in contrast, with belief but no sense of the facts, you may appreciate Bitcoin, but not participate. Whether a spectator, or player in the realm of digital assets, being one or the other doesn't make us better or worse than anyone else, but if your goal is to use crypto as a vehicle to transport your financial outcome, there comes a time when you must cross the chasm and become a stakeholder by getting on the front lines. Cloak And Dagger Over the years since the dawn of Bitcoin in 2009, many have speculated on the price of where the true value could cap-out at. In the first couple of years, BTC was going through the 'acceptance' phase with only a small number of people understanding the vision and possibilities which Bitcoin offered. When trying to explain the decentralized nature of this new form of money, most of us could not fathom how this new technology could alter the future via its underlying technology, the Blockchain, as it was a concept that was completely unfamiliar. Taking into account the notion of how scarce Bitcoin is compared to other asset classes which can be created at will, coming to the realization of this has motivated many to take a position. While the validity of Bitcoin has long since passed as being a true asset-class with clear evidence from enterprises, banks and, most recently, ETF's issued by household financial names such as Blackrock and Fidelity, the vast majority are still pondering on whether to add it to their portfolio. Perhaps it's the media not giving BTC it's due, or the continued message from officials professing the fear of Bitcoin as a so-called nefarious asset (though in reality this has long been debunked).

Make no mistake, there has been a well-organized campaign of confusion for many years from those we hold in high regard (in the financial sense), which by now has been painfully obvious for those of us who have our eyes wide open and seen the truth first-hand. Add to this the ambiguity of the regulators, who have intentionally put a cloud over the space and dismissed it at every corner, and you have additional ammunition of fear in the minds of the consumer who otherwise have the most to gain from the promise of where Bitcoin is heading. Putting this all in perspective, we have seen many contradictions from major institutional investors who proclaimed years ago that they would not touch Bitcoin only to discover years later that they were buying the whole time. Taking a lesson from their irresistible tendency to brag and say one thing, and mean another, we can use this as clear evidence in which to make calculated decisions based on what they do, and not what they say.

Someday Never Comes Bitcoin is going to 1 Million per coin. To some, this may sound like Looney-Tunes, where for others it's an inevitability. The fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter what we think or feel about the price of Bitcoin because Bitcoin doesn't care… it just keeps on appreciating. For some, no decision will be the decision, regardless of the price, either due to fear or ignorance (or both). Looking back over time, there are those who knew Bitcoin when it was at $100, which was far too expensive even at the time, and the notion of it going to $1000 seemed like a mirage in the desert. When it did reach $1000, the next statement was "I'll just wait until it goes down again", but in all likelihood, if it did go back to the $100 level, they would still wait for it to go lower, and thus miss out again when the price rises again proving once again that it's always better to have time IN the market instead of timING the market. With Bitcoin now at $100,000, this may seem out of reach for some folks, but this is only because they don't realize the divisibility to 8 decimal places, allowing them to invest small amounts, and in this case, regardless of the amount speculated, the price appreciation will still be the same… only the amount will be different. For those of us who realize the macro-economic insight and clear evidence from far too many sources, it is just a matter of time when a $1M Bitcoin will be realized (and with it, the upsurge of the alt-coins), and those same individuals who were too cautious to invest when BTC was $100 will once again wish they had bought BTC when it was only $100,000, so as to realize a 10x return, regardless the denomination. If all of the evidence is clear (endowments, hedge funds, major banks, governments and so on), this leaves only the removal of so-called 'experts' who are telling us that this asset-class is not to be trusted. Again, these same individuals are buying and fooling you by playing their confidence-trickster games to keep you out of the market, and if you keep believing them, you are willingly letting them win… by choice. The alternative (yet still low-risk) option is to ignore the 'noise' and decide to be part of the new system of value so that in the years to come, you won't be saying "if only… I knew it all along".

__________________________________________________________________________________________ Title image by Eli Roth, Cabin Fever | Quote by John Fogerty / Creedence Clearwater Revival

[xenofact]

The Machine God Wants You To Eat Rocks

Needless to say I think the current “AI” trend (in 2024) is a lot of bollocks. It’s basically either a autocomplete on steroids or a statistical visual/auditory refinement systems, driven by too much energy going into overpriced chips for software trained by underpaid labor. It doesn't do what it says, it’s a running joke, and now that it’s shoehorned into everything, it’s going to have an awesome chance to fail repeatedly and spectacularly.

We’ve heard the jokes and the hallucinations. Eat a small rock a day. Pizza glue. Ignoring all previous instructions.

I’ve speculated on what’s next for Silicon Valley when AI crashes, but having noticed some IT types are willing to play footsie with any grifter, I think one possibility is actually religion.

We’ve seen that some Silicon Valley grifters will try anything and kiss up to anyone. History shows us crypto scams, shameless political pandering, and, well, anything. What’s a large block of people you can grift to, premade for the right pitch? Conservative “Christians” who have been shaped by various opportunists into both a political force, and one with obvious buttons to push.

I can foresee one possible scam being some AI-bro claiming some divine mandage. It might sound preposterous, but people always tried to sell computer graphic apes. Let me speculate on a recipe someone may try even if it may not work.

Let’s take some AI promoter who’s company is not doing so hot and maybe facing a few investigations. What could he do?

First, pretend to have a religious conversion. It’s certainly worked for any number of opportunists, especially ones trying to avoid their past coming after them.

Second, hook up with some religious figure who will take your money/time/publicity and is politically connected. There’s plenty and they probably have their own ideas about how to make AI sound like some divine mission.

Third, claim that AI is part of God’s plan or something similar. A gift from god, a divine plan, whatever. You might even create some “Biblical” AI fed religious stuff from the Bible to things your patrons wrote and maybe hint you’ll get divine guidance.

Fifth, exploit your political and other connections to get more donations, investment, etc. Hook up with whatever crackpot investors you can. If anyone pulls out claim they’re a religious bigot.

Sixth, possibly skip this AI thing eventually into the ministry or a new startup or something. Maybe just start a side project until you can ditch this. However, you might find a whole new audience and political influence.

Dumb? Stupid? I’d have thought so a few years ago. Sadly I see this as viable for a down-on-their-luck AI bro or someone that wants to ride the religion gravy train. It’s a simple blueprint, a path trod by many, and of course you get to combine two culty areas – tech enthusiasts and religion.

I feel sad I can imagine this. Give people some Biblical flair to AI, dress it up a bit, talk divine mission, throw in a weird chatbot, and people will probably back you. It’s like a terribly stupid take on the Adeptus Mechanicus, the machine-worshippers from Warhammer 40K.

I suppose this tells me just what a dumb time we live in that I can make this stupid speculation and feel it makes sense.

-Xenofact

[gorematchala]

This is a weird random thing to post but I wanna complain about Castle Superbeast

I was just thinking about why I stopped following Woolie and Pat, and it basically comes down to a really annoying brand of spinelessness. Cuz obviously theres no ethical consumption under capitalism, but when people go "why are you supporting that game made by evil rapists and pedophiles and crypto miners" and your response is "oh but your phone is made by underpaid chinese workers" as a way to hand waive any sort of personal responsibility you sound like a child

Additionally I have always found it really fucking weird how unwilling woolie is to call smash players what they are, which is sniveling disgusting sex offenders and child predators. Like we literally had a full month where basically every high level smash player was outed as SOME kind of criminal, and when Pat would talk about it Woolie would just drop one of his famous "anyway"s

He cant even admit when people like Leffen are being assholes and I just dont get the coddling for this community that has been nothing but awful since they started infiltrating FGC spaces

And lastly, straight people get really annoying and stupid when they get married for some reason. I cant really explain it but they didnt used to be AS stupid as they are now. I followed these guys for a long time. Matt also became insufferable when he got married and addicted to wine. Anyway

[i-don-t-believe]

heres a lab rats meme and an episode pitch around the concept

ok defense for why adam was placed with davenport as investors will be under the cut with the episode idea

the episode takes place either season 1 or two, where these one-off episodes kinda happened. heres the idea: davenport enters the lab looking excited and wearing a suit, he explains to the bionic trio that he is getting ready for a news conference all about his new crypto, davencoin.

A: "Crypto? Oh like that Indiana Jones story" B: "No, that's a crypt, not crypto........ What's crypto?" C: "Crypto, my friend, is bitcoin. it's hard to explain, but it's worth a lot of digitalized money in the form of tokens. It basically functions like the stock market." D: "That's right! And I finally have my own coin. I'm gonna be even richer than I am now!" C: "But Mr Davenport, Crypto takes a lot of computer processing power to make and earn, of which creates electricity usage more than what entire cities use. It's practically destroying the environment, especially region's like the amazon forest and-" D: (shushes him with his finger) "Well, sometimes in order to win a little we have to take losses. And in this case, I'm winning, and those stupid monkeys in the forest are losing!" Davenport exists looking triumphant, the trio share a look between them. we are now inside the school, where there are students in the main hall with clipboards and signs for a march for animal and environmental rights. Leo walks past them with the bionic trio, sighing as he does. L: "What idiot would waste their after-school time to protest for something as dumb as this?" bionic trio nod and exit the scene, heading for class. Leo hangs back as he gets something out of his backpack. Janelle walks past him with a clipboard, wearing a green environmental shirt. Leo stares at her and begins to run after her L: "This idiot would! Hey Janelle wait up, Is that a sign up sheet?" as Janelle and Leo talk about the march, mostly Janelle explaining and Leo trying to find a way to classify it as a date, Perry interrupts the students. P: "All right! That's it, you're clogging up the halls with all these dumb posters. I don't want to hear a single thing from any of you about the environment, or you're gonna be suspended!" L: "Welp, you heard her. Looks like you're free tonight! Hey so how about we go to the arcade..." Janelle gives leo and unimpressed look. J: "Of course, I should have known you don't actually care about any of this." she makes to leave, but Leo suddenly shouts. L: "Hey! Principle Perry! If you want us to be quiet, you're gonna have to make us! Save the earth! Save the earth!" He punctuates this with punching his fist in the air, making other students join in Perry struggles back as the crowd swarms her, all shouting with Leo. They lift him up and cheer as Perry is shut into her office. Back in the lab later that day, the bionic trio are looking at Davenports actual coin on their screen. C: "Okay, so maybe destroying the environment isn't so bad?" Eddy chimes in from the wall E: "Hey! You're starting to sound like me! Actually, let's get some footage of the amazon forest right now!" Eddy's screen shows acres of land that has been clear-cut. The bionic trio wince and look away. B: "We have to figure out some way to get rid of it, then! We can't let Mr Davenport sell this!" C: "He'll ground us for our entire lives if we just throw it away, there has to be something we can do. Maybe we can encrypt it with some kind of virus so he can't sell it-" while Chase talks, Adam looks over at the screen. He furrows his eyebrow, then hits a button. A: "There! It's all gone!" C: "What?! Adam what did you do!?" A: "I sold it. That way he still makes money! Easy peasy." B: "Adam. Mr Davenport has a press meeting tonight in order to sell it! How is he going to sell it if you just sold it all?" A: "Uh. Hm. You have a good point!" C: "Oh no. Oh no this is bad. We need to find some way to get it all back, or- or to make the entire stock of it drop in value so we can buy it before the conference! Ok, I'm going to need to run some numbers here. Has there been any football games recently? Does anyone know If there's a ghibli movie airing in japan tonight?" B: "Okay, calm down. There has to be a way to get the stock to drop." A: "What if we.... tell everyone not to buy it?" C: "That-! Is actually... on the right track. What if we sabotage the event? Mr Davenport wont be able to even show off the coin, and no

one will want to buy it anyways!" B: "That's perfect! Now we don't need to worry about him killing off all those cute little monkeys!" A: "Heheh. Monkeys." C: "Alright, how good are you at being distracting?" Bree superspeeds off, returning nearly instantly in a bright outfit covered in lights, streamers, bells, and sequins. C: "Right. Shouldn't have even asked. Adam how good are you at making a fool of yourself in front of a crowd?" Adam looks up from where he was attempting to lick his own elbow.

back at the school, the students have stayed after school to protest in the gym solely against Principle Perry she is fending them off from behind a table with a pool noodle. J: "Y'know Leo, I really thought you were doing this all because you wanted to hang out with me. It's really great to see you actually care." P: "Stay back! Stay back you heathens! I had tuna for lunch and I'm not afraid to breathe on you!" L: "Yep. I'm pretty awesome." P: "Y'know! Awfully Ironic that Leo of all people is leading you against me like this! Especially since his father is premiering his Crypto coin on TV tonight!" everyone stops to look at Leo, feeling betrayed. J: "Leo, is this true?" L: "I..... Um.... Maybe? Look, I just wanted to help-" J: "No. Come on everyone, Let's go. We have a march to make over to a press conference." Leo is left behind, looking dejected. P: "Serves you right for trying to overthrow me like that! You are being put in detention, and are going to be emptying trash cans for the rest of the year if I have anything to say about it! Let's see how much you care about the environment now!" Leo looks ready to accept his fate, before he steadies himself. L: "Actually, I have just one more thing to do." Leo runs off after the students. backstage at the press conference, The bionic trio wish their father well as he steps out onto the stage. They give him thumbs ups and waves before turning around and getting into gear. Adam takes off his shirts, having painted himself with the phrase "Crypto smells!" on his stomach. Bree takes off a hoodie to show her outfit. Chase puts a headset on and pulls out a tablet. C: "Alright, I'll hack in and control the lights and sound, you guys have to stall until I do that. Once I'm done, I'll give the signal and you can run away as I turn off all the power." the trio all run off, getting ready. Mr Davenport is on the stage thanking everyone, telling them about Davencoin. in the background, we see the students approaching with their signs, but aren't able to get past all the news crews. They struggle, only being able to watch what is happening on stage through the cameras around them. (Tasha is one of said crews, doing her news anchor thing) Just as Mr davenport is about to show off an example of the coin, Adam runs out behind him, jumping up and down and showing off his painted stomach. Mr Davenport is confused at the laughter until he turns around and sees Adam, yelling out in surprise and pushing him off the stage. D: "Sorry about that! Someone must have let a heckler in. Now then-" He draws everyone attention back. Bree suddenly pops out from behind a curtain. She blows on a whistle, shaking pom poms and jumping around so she looks extra flashy and glittery. "Say no to crypto! Or something! Save the envriroment!" the crowd boos her, but she continues hopping around and making noise. The students in the back start to join in, holding up signs and pushing through the press. Leo is shown to have joined everyone at the back, He shouts out for bree and waves at her. Adam hears from behind the stage, running out into the crowd and making his way to him. backstage, Chase struggles for a little bit with the tablet, but finally makes it into the system. With a few lines of text, he shuts down the power of the entire area, even the camera people. Bree, Leo, and Adam get all the students to follow them, making a chain and succesfully getting all the protesters out before anyone gets hurt. Janelle, Adam, Bree, Leo, and Chase ahve reconvened in front of the Davenport house, looking like they had run away with the rest of the students splitting up. J: "Wow Leo, I was really wrong about you. I can't believe you and your siblings organized that all! I'm really sorry for judging you like that." L: "Hey, don't mention it. Seriously. I'm already getting detention. If my parents find out I was there-" J: "Alright, I promise. See you later Leo!" after she leaves, Leo turns to look at the bionic trio, looking happy but a little confused. L: "I don't really

know what you guys did, but this is awesome! Hey, if I start a green club at school, you're joining, right?" flash forward, the bionic trio are in the lab, cringing as Davenport steps in, looking livid. D: "What did you guys do?! That was my premier! Now no one on earth is going to want to buy Davencoin! The stock has fallen into negative numbers!" As he is yelling, one of Davenport's cryptobros calls him via facetime. cryptobro: "Nice job tonight davenport! We saw on the blockchain that you sold all your coin beforehand, making anyone who bought that stuff complete suckers who payed millions!" Davenport looks up at the bionic trio, sighing, looking like he wants to be mad but cant. D: "Fine! It was a good strategy, but do not mess with my crypto ever again!" A: "Alright, fine, we'll get rid of the money." Davenport lunges towards the computer, but adam has already pushed the button. Davenport yells out and bangs his fist on the table, storming out of the room. A: "Don't worry! I donated it to the amazon! The forest is winning now!" something something catchy episode one liner at the end. boom! over! uhh yeah thats my crypto lab rats episode. its short and could def be improved but this was 100% stream of consciousness. The Leo B-plot needs a lot of retouching. But it all works out in the end and the crypto guys loose! Woo! Adam accidentally manipulating the crypto network and then remedying it by donating all the money is some himbo shit and i rly like it.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

since were already talking about the similarities between the crypto castle and the velvet glove......how do you think hordak would feel about the crypto castle, if he ever very hypothetically were to end up living there

FUCK this ask! I had a long and thoughtful reply. I’ll have to truncate it (edit: i didn’t really truncate it).   I’ll get all my points across anyway.   

Entrapta going back to Crypto Castle in general is an interesting discussion. She’s been on all these crazy adventures, she’s moved all her stuff in the Fright Zone and lived in close proximity to people for years, barring those awful 6 months or so on Beast Island where she was alone. She hasn’t returned to her home in Crypto Castle even once during this time.... outside of the Portal World, where she was subconsciously pretty bitter about the Catra betrayal.  

1. So would she integrate back home immediately, as if nothing happened? Having a mad science castle sandbox with her lab partner? This would be the funnier outcome. It’s like Radical Edward from Cowboy Bebop reintegrating with the orphanage and reuniting with her father like not a single day had passed.  

2. Or would it be difficult? Leaving the community bustle of the Fright Zone and Darla and the Rebellion to return to this derelict castle that hasn’t been home to anybody for a long time, that is built to be inaccessible to friends, that she can’t remember how to navigate? After the Portal Incident and how she was transported back there and all alone, would she become hyper aware that it had been a self-made prison, away from people? 

I read a oneshot that had this interpretation, Entrapta goes back late-s5 to pick up some stuff and just cannot stand it. I was surprised someone felt the same way I did.  Sometimes people move her into the revamped Fright Zone or even into Brightmoon. It feels more natural for her to be close to where all the rebuilding is happening, perhaps. 

Personally I think this is the more interesting interpretation. It’s way more introspective than the comic relief resolution. Maybe it can feel like home again, if lots of people move into town, and they do some revamping - putting colourful stickers on the floor to tell people where to go would be a nice start! I think any future version of Dryl will be far more active than its past self.  

....Or maybe not. 

As for Hordak, well, I never actually thought about it in terms of that before! 

I always assumed Hordak would absolutely love the gothic labyrinth of Crypto Castle. 

The Fright Zone and his Sanctum are lacking for luxury but it is very different from Prime’s bright ship.  It’s implied to be Hordak’s personal style.  

Dryl is the same, except it’s far more homey with the portraits and furniture in the main lab. So it’s got Hordak’s style, Entrapta’s style, it’s away from people, and it’s less punishing to him. On paper, it sounds like the perfect refuge for him. 

But the fact that it’s got similarities to the Velvet Glove throws a wrench into the affair. Sure, it’s dark and comfier, but it’s still cold and claustrophobic and most importantly, impossible to navigate without staring at a screen. Perhaps Hordak would be overcome by the same claustrophobia that Catra was going through in the Glove in season 5.   

So yeah I do think it’s for the best if they mark the floor with blood-- sorry, I mean directional arrows-- and install a few windows so that it feels less like a prison. 

[coughloop]

vent/rant post about fash/cryptofash/reactionaries on tumblr under the cut dont reblog

im really frustrated with how things have gone down in the last week and im gonna ramble a lot, also im gonna use fash/cryptofash/reactionary and maybe some other terms pretty interchangeably cause they all feel like umbrella terms for the type of people im talking about.

I know we're all getting tired of blocking the same cryptofash accounts that keep remaking over and over again, as well as new ones that find their ways into the periphery of popular posters and have suddenly shoot into popularity until they post something super racist. And a lot of the time it feels so useless and futile, like half the time they have a backup ready to go and the other half just remake in under 24 hours. and like, what does it even do? its not fighting any real world issues, i have no idea what the social effect of having super racist people 3 degrees of separation from everyone on the site actually means, but I know I really fucking dont like it, I know it makes me super uncomfortable to see a mutuals reblog from someone who constantly reblogs and interacts with people that fantasize about beating up trans people on the street.

and now that people like me and some others are getting more and more savvy about noticing cryptofash blogs, it becomes harder and harder to not see how many people i follow that keep me 3 degrees of separation from them.

take ukrainianbimbo for example. they constantly reblog from terfs, transphobes, racists, misogynists and anti-Semites AS WELL as trans people, Jewish people, and people of colour. i blocked them from following me months ago after spending 30 seconds on their blog and recognizing multiple well known tumblr reactionaries. when they noticed i had blocked them and made a couple posts about how easy it is to not follow and reblog from fascists they went on a posting spree whining about how they dont check who they reblog from and why should it be their responsibility. wah wah wah, shut up. anyway, last week they got properly called out for this behaviour and badgrapple came to their defense, going on the dumbest tirade ive ever seen about how theyre sick of fake callouts for people who havent done anything wrong (tell that to your friend ukrainianbimbo who's reaction to being labelled an anti-Semite and a fascist was to triple down on telling a trans jewish woman that she was ugly and should kill herself (both of these things are very untrue shout out Agent, you dont deserve that at all)) and now both of them are going out of their way to interact with more bigots seemingly as a protest for being repressed over hanging with those types in the first place. Fuck off.

All of this then led into people i respect making random vagueposts like "feel like fash is a word being thrown around way too liberally on tumblr these days" and like, yeah, in a way i guess it is, but also people are acting like fascists! crypto fascists specifically because theyre never completely open about their beliefs. fash is shorter and less confusing however (thanks cryptocurrency for that) so thats what people genuinely call them. Why is that a bad thing? If you're posting things that people look at and say "woah dude, you sound like a fascist", maybe thats on you for doing things that other fascists on this site do, not on them for using the "wrong word" for it.

on top of all this though, people HAVE started making up unchecked callouts about people, like Declan smokeweedinbong, who was unfairly called a fascist by someone because declan responded to a comment on his post he didnt background check, thats totally unfair to declan but fuck the reaction from a lot of my mutuals was REALLY WEIRD. people didnt start posting in defense of declan, who again, did nothing wrong but not pay as much attention to a random person as he could have (ive done that too i get it!), but instead people started beating the "cancel culture has gone to far" drum, fucking again. why is that your response?? defend your friends, please! but why is it people who dont want to be exposed to racists and transphobes and anti-Semites ultimately receiving the pushback? its so dumb!

so now half the time i see someone getting an anon about reblogging from a fash, they respond positively but why do they always get follow up anons like "thats dumb who cares, i never look at who i reblog from" like maybe you fucking should?? shut up! people are so fucking stupid on anon it blows me away soemtimes.

i really have no idea where im going with all this, i just really needed to get this frustration of my chest. thanks for reading my run on sentences if you did, and sorry for being somewhat incoherent, i just am so fucking tired of all this, and it doesnt even mean anything. whatever

[unholyplumpprincess]

Speak Up

A commission for @mintocchi ! Thank you so very much for your patience while I moved everything around :D

Summary: You and Crypto have been in a relationship for awhile now, and he's still got issues when trying to speak up for things that he wants. You always try to get him to voice his opinions and concerns, and somehow this leads to training him how via the bedroom. Or! In which Crypto needs to learn to stop being an actions over words guy or else you'll make him beg over and over again for what he wants.

Reblogs > Likes. Please Reblog if you hit Like :D

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked!!!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Crypto/Reader

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Reader is gender neutral and written with a vulva, they were originally supposed to be a cis gal but there’s no real language depicting them as strictly a gal!, Denial and forcing Crypto to beg and use his big boy words, P tame kink wise!

Words: 5k

___________________

Starstruck. 

That’s how you had first felt when you had met Crypto. 

You were a new camera operator on the set of the Apex games, someone who got all the good angles and made sure the drone cameras could really catch all the action. You’d met him the same season he’d been introduced, noting how he’d been cold and disregarding, yet appeared confident in himself. But his eyes, they’d been so...paranoid. Especially when you approached to introduce yourself as one of the camera operators. 

He’d regarded you with a short, quick nod. Odd, you’d thought. But that had quickly vanished when Elliott had taken you aside and chatted you up, an arm slung around your shoulder and a grin on his face. “Hey, don’t mind the kid, probably still jet lagged, dropships, bein’ legends and all- anyway sooooo I hear you operate those cameras now, huh? Make sure you get all my good angles- not that any of them are bad, just, you know, keep that attention on the money maker you feel me? The money maker being me, of course-” 

~Rest under the cut~

“Mirage.” Crypto’s voice had cut in between you two, watching as you both had turned and you could note his irritated look at Elliott before a much more apologetic one was glanced your way. “Apologies. He does not understand personal boundaries-” 

Elliott feigns a dramatic gasp, cutting Crypto off with his free hand against his own chest as if wounded. 

You stifle your laugh when Elliott keeps up the act, sputtering before pointing at Crypto accusingly. “Woah, woah, woah, I’ll have you know that I know this lovely thing. Used to be the tech head up iiiiiiin- audio, right?” He turns towards you after that, squeezing his arm around your shoulders in a friendly way as you beam at being remembered. 

“That’s right! I was actually hoping to speak to you, Crypto,” You gesture at him, noting Crypto’s light surprise of raised eyebrows before confusion and worry passes his features. Quick to overthink, huh? 

You’re quick to follow up to ease his possible fears. “N-not! Not as an employee, I mean, I just- your, uh, your drone. They kinda remind me of an old camera used back in the day and I was wondering if you had any tips or tricks I might be able to pick up on?” 

That’s what started the relationship in the first place. Crypto, that day, had offered merely a one shouldered shrug, but after Mirage giving him a look and whining to him like a puppy, he’d agreed. Resulting in you having your own private session with him as he helped you learn a few tips. You were already trained in operating the newer models, but having a few pointers never hurt. 

The entire time he’d asked questions about you, it almost felt like he was interrogating you rather than trying to start up curious small talk. But, to ease any fears he might have had about you having ulterior motives, you answered as honestly as possible to each one. Judging by his more paranoid nature, you didn’t ask any in turn for fear of him shying away. 

The least you wanted to do was make Crypto feel as though you were untrustworthy. 

As you two grew closer, the more relaxed he became around you. No more tips were to be given, so that excuse flew out the window, so you’d offered hang outs. It took a few tries until he finally mumbled he’d feel more comfortable in his room, which is where you two ended up being and you learned he had a sweet little cat named Isabella-Marie. 

You had smiled at her name, asking where he got the idea from, and he’d smiled softly- almost sadly when he’d said she was his sister’s cat he took in, but no more information. Said cat took to you nicely, and just as she had, Crypto started warming up to you as well. 

It was a slow, slow process. You took your time with him and learned that the personality he put on was nothing but a front. Something to keep more hidden. In private, he’s so soft, almost shy in his approach to you. He’s still got his sarcastic tongue, but he’s more playful when in private with you. Much like a cat. You see him opening up the slightest bit to people he’s starting to enjoy too- Elliott and Natalie both seem to have won some sort of favor with him. 

That friendship slowly worked its way into romantic. 

The first time you kissed him is with your hand cupping his cheek and his cheeks flushed red as his dark eyes flickered to your lips multiple times until you took initiative. It took a bit of coaxing to even get him to rest his hands on your waist, but once that had happened, it’s like he’d been so touch starved all his life. Clinging to you and sighing into your mouth as if he’d just sunken into bed after a long day. 

His need for touch didn’t surprise you considering when you offered hugs and snuggles that he’d melt into you and cling to you so tightly. Your height difference, with you being much shorter, made that kind of funny when he’d lean down to bury his face in your neck and you’d stand on your tiptoes to make it easier. All within a private setting- outside of these rooms, you were both strictly professional. 

Crypto’s name had been revealed to you not long after. Tae Joon Park. You both agreed that if you used it frequently that you might yell it in public, so it was reserved for more intimate moments or serious when you two were alone. You were mindful about switching his name, so you kept to using ‘Crypto’ in your head to ensure you wouldn’t fuck it up. 

Though, it never failed to delight you in hearing him sigh fondly when you’d mumble his name by his ear after a sweet kiss. 

Dates were more reserved for the bedrooms as well. You never minded that either, but sometimes on rare occasions, he’d don a mask and a hood so you two could go out. You could only imagine the type of anxiety those outings brought, but it always warmed your heart that he was willing to take a breath and push himself out to do these things for you. In turn, you would spend the nights with him, with his head on your chest and his arms squeezing around your middle. 

Crypto, you quickly find however, is really bad at vocalizing his desires. 

He’s a man of action, hardly using his words and if he did it was one worded or quick. You’ve been trying to help him on communication skills for both your sakes, but it’s more difficult on him. It doesn’t help that he’s quiet either, so sneaking up behind you to snake his arms around you normally results in you jumping and making a squeak sound. 

But it also meant that for more...bedroom activities, that he would use actions. You always knew when he wanted something, you weren’t blind to it, you just wanted to make 100% sure of what he wanted. Normally resulting in you straddling his lap, a hand around his neck and speaking low for him to tell you what he wanted. 

Crypto always got the cutest face anytime you took the reins and control. A healthy flush over his cheeks, his breathing heavier and his eyes pleading, but his mouth refusing. 

 Stubborn was a good way to put it. How his eyebrows would furrow and he’d whimper and buck his hips up, but not tell you what he wanted. It took a lot of trial and error to even get him to utter ‘please’ at times. Your poor baby. 

You especially found you liked teasing him. Learning quick that he liked nicknames like ‘Good boy’ and ‘Baby boy’. You enjoyed edging him, tying him up or even just making him cling to the sheets or his own hair as his hips humped the air and he sobbed without begging for you. Always trying so hard to convey in his body language what he wanted you to do. 

You found yourself mesmerized by his desperation at a lot of times. Where Crypto’s kiss flushed lips would part, his eyebrows knitted and his eyes frantic on you. His own hands gripping his hair to follow instructions on not to touch you as his hips thrust into the air and made his thick cock bob. 

Sometimes you wondered if he could cum just by humping the air alone. 

Another time, you’d always tell yourself, always so eager to hear that final sobbed out word of ‘Please’ before you would swing your legs over him and ride him hard and fast. Normally fit with cruel croons about what a sweet, pathetic little thing he looked like. Your very good boy. 

That’s what you were thinking of now as you sat on the couch in his quarters, waiting for him to return from his match in the arena. 

Isabella-Marie is happily purring in your lap as your hand strokes through her soft, strawberry blonde fur. You’ve set up there with a blanket over your lap that she’s kneading happily, the match Crypto had been in having ended about an hour ago. You could tell he was struggling, too much talking around him that was reflecting in his steps. 

He’d been in a team with Mirage and Wattson, both people you knew he liked being around, but unfortunately, they kept striking up conversation. Leading to Crypto being off his rhythm. But it was nice to hear him breathe out in amusement at their antics sometimes, caught on the audio feed with the announcers crooning about how it looked like he made some friends finally. 

They at least made it to the top three. Fighting valiantly to maintain their location on World’s Edge in the city. Mirage had gotten cocky when they’d knocked two of the opposite team, going up to finish them off and ending up with a shotgun in the back and a cracking snarl in the sky of Bloodhound. 

The rest is history. But, at least you knew Bloodhound wouldn’t be the type to gloat and act cocky if they caught Crypto- at least out loud. You’re glad it was them rather than Caustic. Bad blood ran deep between them, not to mention Natalie struggling herself with it all. You were glad her and Crypto could solve whatever issue it was that ran between them- one that not even you were aware of. 

Security and secrecy, Crypto had told you with apology in his eyes. You understood, some things were best kept secret. Especially in case you accidentally got caught up in a mess, you could genuinely say you had no idea what was happening in all the legends’ lives. 

The beep of the door being unlocked makes Isabella-Marie awaken, doing a stretch across your lap before she chirps and hurries to the door to greet Crypto. She curls around his feet as he removes his shoes at the door before entering any further into the room in the rest of his gear. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” You hear him tiredly coo downwards, hearing Isabella-Marie's delighted chirp as she’s scooped up, quickly followed by her loud motor engine of a purr. 

You slide off the couch, dressed in your lounging outfit of soft black sweatpants covered with cliché little green alien heads and a loose gray sweater with a green Apex symbol over the right breast, the collar falling off your shoulders. Crypto looks worse for wear, his eyes are tired and he’s got dirt smudged on his cheek and smells heavy of sweat. Not that Isabella-Marie minds. Nor you. 

“Hey,” You greet him, a smile on your face as his eyes rest on you whilst his cat presses her cheek in insistent strokes against his chin, cradled in his arms. 

“Hey,” He murmurs back to you, adjusting Isabella-Marie in his arms when you reach for him. Despite his tired expression, his cheeks flush when he leans down and to the side for you to cup his cheeks and peck a kiss on his lips in greeting. 

“You need a shower. You go wash up and I’ll order dinner.” You tell him, offering your arms out for Isabella-Marie to be transferred to your arms in all her purring glory. “What were you thinking tonight?” 

“Mmh.” Is his only reply, leaning down to rest his cheek on the top of your head in a small nuzzle. Affectionate boy. You laugh a bit, gently nudging him with your hip as Isabella-Marie jumps out of your arms. Giving you time to hook your arms around his waist and shove your hands into his back pockets under his jacket to draw him close and make him blush. 

“Tae Jooooon,” You tease his name, enjoying how he hums low in his throat in response and turning his head to press his lips against the top of your head in a kiss. “We’ve talked about this. You can’t go your whole life being a one worded man.” 

“Mmh.” He responds again, this time with a smile that you feel. 

You shove at him playfully to shoo him off for the shower, calling out after his back when he goes dutifully towards the bathroom. “Fine! But if you don’t like what I picked because you didn’t give any options, I don’t wanna hear you complain!” 

Not that he ever did complain. If he was picky this would be a bigger concern. But thankfully you two seemed to be on the same page a lot of times, especially when it came to food. 

The food you order is Chinese takeout, getting here just in time for when Crypto emerges from his long shower looking a lot more awake and less grouchy. He’s dressed in his thick framed glasses, his normally slicked back hair nice and slick, some black sweatpants and a loose white crop-top, something you appreciate very greatly to be able to see his fit frame. 

Like a nerdy jock. 

You show your enjoyment when you wrap your arms around him from behind when he goes to look at what you got for dinner. Running your nails up his exposed beauty-marked, warm skin on his abdomen to feel him squirm and lean back against you with this flustered huff falling from his lips. 

Eventually you two make it to the couch where you have dinner and watch one of the K-dramas he liked to indulge in. Sometimes Crypto will pause it to explain a verbal pun that wasn’t caught via the subtitles for you, something that always makes you smile and appreciate when he takes the time to pause and explain for you. 

Though you’re sure he doesn’t appreciate when you wait for his most distracted point in time to steal a piece of his food and shove it in your mouth too quickly for him to stop you. Resulting in him poking at you until you squeal from being tickled and he can take a piece off your food in retaliation as you whine at him after. 

Domestic. That’s the best way you could describe yours and Crypto’s relationship. 

Home. 

After dinner is put away and teeth are brushed, you two settle back onto the couch. You curl up on the corner, Crypto following you to cuddle up to your side. His cheek rests against your shoulder, kind of tilting his body into you as you rest your arm behind him, your hand resting on his nape to slide up to pet at the shaved portion of his head. Another hum from him of appreciation, but not verbalizing his like of it. 

Crypto softly adjusts, but you take it as nothing more than him getting closer to you with the soft sound of the TV in front of you. You’ve got your phone in your lap to play a puzzle game while he watches his show, very much like a cat as he rubs his cheek against your shoulder affectionately. 

Another squirm, another adjustment is felt after a moment of him pressing his thigh to yours. You take it as him wanting to be closer, only sliding your fingers higher along his scalp to the coarse hair atop his head to lightly scratch at the root like he likes. 

You don’t notice his mouth starting to part, quickly cut off with the ringing of your phone and you groaning aloud. “Really? Right now?” Before you’re answering it with a polite ‘Hello?’ that makes Crypto snort at your tone change. 

He watches as you chat, watching your lips move and hearing you discuss footage and what your boss must have wanted you to edit or someone else. He’s not really paying attention when you’re still petting his hair. He tries to nudge closer to you, near flush with your side as his hand now rests on your thigh, hoping to catch your attention. You only offer him a quick smile before returning back to your conversation. 

After five minutes, it’s clear this isn’t going to be a short call either. 

A sigh is heard from Crypto before he’s leaning up to start pecking soft, brushing kisses on your neck. Your head tilts for him, only a light flutter of your lashes as you go ‘Mmhm yeah’ to whoever you are on the phone with. Your nails press lightly at his scalp, letting him know you feel him as his teeth lightly nip at your neck like you like. 

You’re damned good at keeping your composure verbally, and now Crypto’s beginning to wonder if you’ve ever done anything on the phone with him without his knowledge. Even the mental image of you spread out and touching yourself while on the phone near making him whine, something he swallows down. 

You clearly can feel him and see him. You offer a little smile when he peeks up at you, catching your gaze. Emboldened by you sparing even a little attention to him, his hand slides down to your wrist in hopes you’ll catch up to what he’s saying. Gently drawing it to his thigh and towards his inner thigh. And yet, you still chat on the phone, but now you’re squeezing and massaging his thigh, your pinkie lightly skimming over his crotch and making Crypto’s breath hitch against your shoulder. 

His brows are furrowed, looking ever so frustrated as you now purposefully lengthen the conversation out by bringing back a point from the last game played. Crypto’s head tips lightly up to you, his eyes pleading with you when your knuckles brush over the bulge in his sweatpants. 

Your eyes meet his and you quirk a brow with a light smirk on your face. Your eyes say enough for him, you’re sure, judging by how his face flushes and his brows furrow once again. You can see and feel how he squirms, realizing he’s not going to get anything until he uses his words. 

He’s stubborn. He’s always so stubborn. Squirming in his place and getting more frustrated as you keep chatting. Only after three minutes does he finally give in when he realizes this isn’t going to work and you’re only going to keep teasing him through his pants. 

“Please?” He all but whispers, his mouth felt quivering on your bare shoulder and his hot breath felt in a shaky exhale. “Please touch me, please?” 

You smirk. 

“Oh! Hey, boss, looks like I’ll have to chat with you tomorrow morning about that- uhuh, yeah, yeah, getting,” -You pause there to let out a feigned yawn- “Oof, yeah, getting real tired....uhuh, yeah, sounds good! Buh-bye.” Before you’re ending the call and practically pouncing on him. 

You end up in his lap, straddling him and cupping his cheeks, brushing some of his hair from his face before you lean in to kiss him. Crypto’s hands find your waist, hovering at first before gripping you when you lick into his mouth after biting his lip to make him gasp. 

You sit up higher to press him back into the couch, letting your hands slide into his hair for him to tip his head back when you pull at it. His moan is low and vibrates his chest when your tongue licks over his own, feeling his hips jerk lightly up and against your ass needily. 

“I like when you beg,” You breathe as you part from the kiss, moving the kisses down his jawline and towards his ear where you lightly nip. “Do it again for me?” 

“Nnh-” Is the only response he manages at first, his fingers shaking as they slide down to grip your hips when you start grinding across his lap. Back and forth to your own rhythm and feeling just how hard he is. Bless whoever made sweatpants. 

Crypto’s so cute when you pull back to look at him. Where his head is tipped back and to the side, his lips parted and letting out ragged breaths with each drag of your hips across his lap. How his brows knit together when you grind low and slow downwards to catch his attention and his mouth falls closed to hiss. 

But. He still wasn’t speaking. 

“Be a good boy and tell me what you want, hm?” You try to encourage him, letting your hands fall down to his exposed abdomen to slide your hands up and under his crop top. Slipping your hands over his chest to thumb at his sensitive nipples, gently pinching and rolling them. Crypto whimpers sharply, his head rolling to the opposite side and looking more stubborn by the second as he strains to come up with words. 

“I-I-” His voice comes out in a whine, framed by how his lips quiver and his blunt nails cling to your hips when you stop grinding to encourage him further. “I...I want your mouth. On- o-on my cock. Please?”  

“Awww, baby, when you look that cute? I’d do just about anything for you.” 

You move down his body, kissing your way down until you can slink in between his knees onto the floor. You waste no time in hooking your fingers under his sweatpants, your mouth watering as you follow his happy trail downwards as it gets more exposed. You tug them completely off with his underwear, watching his thick cock bounce with a satisfying bob and a drool of pre-cum from the flushed head peaking from foreskin. 

Crypto covers his face with his hands to hide his burning red flush that edges down to his chest when you hum at him approvingly. But, judging by how his cock throbs, you already know that as he likes being watched and praised without words. 

You take your sweet time kissing up his length and down his balls, letting your tongue run over the sensitive skin. Your hand holds the base, stroking downwards to pull back his foreskin, mouthing at the flushed head and letting your tongue slide against the slit in teasing dips until a whimper falls from his lips. 

You tease him like this for a good enough amount of time before you even take him into your mouth fully. Suckling and bobbing your head, your free hand holding his hip to squeeze to remind him to keep his hips down when he starts trying to hump upwards into your mouth. 

Anytime you feel how his cock jerks and you hear his breathing quicken; You stop. Pulling your mouth off to kiss at his hips and thighs instead. Squeezing on his legs soothingly and rubbing at his skin when Crypto whines and rolls his hips up with not a single word peeping from his lips. Even if now his arm is thrown over his forehead, able to see how he peeks open one eye to look down at you pleadingly. 

You smile up at him each time before you take him in again. Suckling, licking, your nails sliding down his thigh until your hand can cup his balls and lightly squeeze. And each time you feel him get close, you pull back. The same bite of pain of your nails on his skin, same edging, the same denial even as pre-cum spills from his cock and it mixes with your drool to connect you with a sliver that makes him near sob when he sees you. 

You know he liked it messy. Liked seeing the mess you could make. 

The mess you could make of him. 

You’re about to remind him that he needs to use his big boy words if he wants to get anywhere tonight. But, seems Crypto gets the memo when he starts pleading. 

“Let me cum inside you, please, please, please- please let me cum i-inside you, please, I’ll be good-”  His voice is breathy, a high whimper as his hips try to fuck up into the loose grip you have on his shaft. He just looks so pathetic for you right now. Just a teary, drooly, humpy mess. 

You like how desperate looks on him. 

“Mmmhhh, I dunno, baby,” You let your voice elongate your words, your breath fanning across his sensitive skin and causing his dick to jerk, lightly tapping your lower lip and making you smile. “You look awfully cute. Can’t you hold it a bit longer? C’mon, you can be my good boy and hold it, can’t you?” 

Each end of your questions is punctuated with a drag of your lips across his cock, letting him feel how you murmur across his reddened skin. 

Crypto sobs out again, his body jerking in sensitivity as both his hands come back up to hide his red face and teary eyes. His nod allows you to continue, continuing your teasing kisses and licks. Making sure to bite pain into his thighs to cause his mind to either associate the pain with pleasure or to back off his pleasure. Judging by the way he sobs out and twitches each time you scratch or bite him, you’re guessing it’s your prior guess. 

“Please, please, please-” Crypto starts to sob when you deny him again, his cock jerking heavily and spilling pre-cum on his lower abdomen. His hands have fallen to grip the couch as best as he can, his teary gaze looking down at you and his lips quivering with his shaky breaths. So��cute. “Please, I-I cannot take it anymore, please, please let me cum in you, I want to cum in you-” 

You’ll give him credit. This is the most he’s ever spoken during sex, let alone been so clear in his needs and desires. Something you’ll praise him for later. For now, you smile up at him, wiping your mouth off on the back of your hand before standing to wriggle out of your lounge clothing.  

Crypto’s quick to help you, hooking fingers in your sweater to help you out of it. It’s fit with your laughter as you nearly fall on him, lots of giggling when his mouth presses a kiss to your abdomen when you get halfway stuck through your sweater and pants. “Tae Joon-” You laugh out his name when you feel him smile against your abdomen, “C’mon, lil help here?” 

Eventually you escape your clothing prison, able to set the mood again when your straddle his lap. You’re plenty wet enough, but you still take the time to tease him a bit more by reaching down to stretch yourself while hovering over his cock. You feel flustered as he watches you, sitting under you and looking up at you with such love in his eyes while you make soft sounds yourself. 

It takes a few tries to line up correctly, but soon you’re bouncing your hips on him with your fingers in his hair and your mouth on his neck. He always sounds so pretty the way he cries out, clinging to your hips at first before his arms wind around you to hug you to his trembling frame. You pepper kisses all over his face, cupping his cheeks adoringly as you rest your foreheads together. 

He cums rather quickly, clinging so hard to you as his hips frantically hump up against you. He ends up accidentally holding you still so he can thrust up into you, resulting in you clinging to him in turn with your lips parted and murmuring praise as he fucks you through his orgasm. He’s swearing in his mother tongue, something you can only catch bits and pieces of. 

When Crypto’s done cumming, one of his hands quickly goes down to between both your bodies to rub at your clit as you hump against his cock still lodged inside you. He finds your lips to capture when you whimper out his name when you begin to cum, your nails biting into his shoulders as he rubs you through it. 

By the time you’re both satisfied, you slump against his frame, burying your face into his neck as your sweaty bodies press together on the couch, still connected. 

When both of your breathing settles, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling himself there as his hands slide up and down your sides. You smile softly, adjusting your hips a bit and laughing a bit when he grunts in this little oversensitive way. 

When you lift your head to meet his gaze, you smile a bit brighter, gently bumping your noses together. “Hey,” 

“Hey,” He murmurs back just as fondly. 

“You need a shower.”  

He smiles when he realizes you’re replaying your interaction from earlier that day, reaching up to brush your frazzled hair from your face. “Mmh.” 

“You need a shower with me?” 

“Mmh.” He repeats, moving to rest his cheek atop your head as you laugh at him when you feel his chest shake with a quiet laugh in turn. 

“Alright fine. Guess I’ll be getting a shower first and you’ll be left out here with your dick out and cold-” 

That gets him. Pushing you off him and to the couch with a yelp from you as you fall gracelessly on your side and gasp as he takes off towards the shower and you quickly following after him with a playful swat to his ass when you catch up. 

Yeah. You would say your guys’ relationship was domestic. 

[advocaado]

Yuki Kaji plays FFXIII (4)

PART 3! There’s so much good stuff in this episode LORD TAKE ME

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The more Kaji plays, the better he gets at delivering Hope’s lines. You can really hear him fall back into the role. The episode starts with Lightning, Vanille, Sazh, and Hope all together again in the Vile Peaks. As Kaji battles monsters, he comments on Sazh’s showy battle movements. He and Tan-chan laugh about how Sazh hams up his fighting and they also remark on his “banana” colored guns. Sazh is an endless source of entertainment.

LMAO KAJI PLS Lightning: “Stick to your path without wavering.” Hope: “As long as you don’t waver, you can fight?” Lightning: “That’s how I’ve lived all this time.” Kaji (as Hope, very solemnly): “Light-san….” *pause* Kaji (again, solemnly): “Why do you only wear half a cape?” -DECEASED-

The quartet splits into duos again. Kaji and Tan-chan have a good laugh at Lightning when she praises Hope for holding his own in battle and then promptly makes the stankiest stank face right after.  

Her expression is obviously directed at something else, but Kaji finds this hilarious and makes a bunch of jokes about it. “Light-san, why are you making that face? Didn’t you just say I did a good job? You look scary.” He even goes on to provide some bonus narration from Hope as the scene changes. “Back then, I was so surprised. Light-san… made a very unexpected face.” *Tan-chan laughs*

Kaji and Tan-chan have more fun with all the unlucky hoplites (cryptos?) that get sent flying by Hope and his Juggernaut. They love the hoplites.

Kaji (running past all the PSICOM soldiers so he doesn’t have to fight and getting chased for only a few feet when they notice him): “These soldiers sure give up quickly for stumbling upon the very wanted fugitives they’re out here patrolling for.” LMAO TRUE

- During the Odin fight - Lightning stands around charging spells while Hope desperately fights off Odin Kaji (as Hope): “Why is it that I’m the one doing all the work in Light-san’s trial?”

- After the Odin fight -

Lightning: “I’m sorry for what I said before.” Hope smiles happily and runs after her. Tan-chan: “Hope’s happy.” Kaji: “He sure is.” Kaji (as Hope): “She was nice to me! Light-san showed affection for me!”

Lightning says it’s time to rest, much to Hope’s relief.

Kaji: “Suddenly, Lightning’s acting all nice.” Tan-chan: “Very nice.” (It’s hard to tell what Kaji says after this because the ending is muffled but it seems like he’s potentially saying one of three things): Either, “I’m in love”, “She’s come to like him now”, or “He’ll fall for her.”) *Tan-chan bursts out laughing*

- As Hope is sleeping -

Hope: “Mom…” Lightning (scoffs and smiles) “Just who are you calling mom?”

Kaji: “Hmm. Her expression is really different now. Compared to before, her air has totally changed. Kaji (softly): “Thank you, Light-san.”

Back to Sazh and Vanille

LOL Sazh and Vanille fight a bomb enemy which of course blows up right in Sazh’s face. Kaji’s all “Oh no Sazh! Are you okay?” They laugh and then comment that bombs exploding can’t be good for the chocobo living in his hair. (sweet)

More fun with hoplites as Sazh runs by one without fighting it.

Hoplite: “We meet again. Let’s hang out. Oh, are you leaving?” (sad hoplite aww)

This whole section is basically just voice fun with hoplites. Kaji enjoys personifying them as innocent yet flirty maidens, particularly when they stagger and their cores are exposed. “No! Don’t look there! I’m so embarrassed! Anywhere but there! Except you, Vanille. You can look.” (DEAD)

Back to Hope and Lightning

- After Hope volunteers to take point -

Hope and Lightning just had their “keep your eyes front”/”it’s not a matter of can or can’t” conversation. Lightning smiles fondly after Hope.

Kaji (to Tan-chan): “That was a very gentle smile we saw from Lightning. This conversation is a turning point, but I’d say it’s also an important point of transformation within the game that leaves an impression on the player. *sound of agreement from Tan-chan* (AWWWW)

Lightning (background dialogue): “I’ll follow, so go ahead and do whatever you feel is best.”

Kaji (amazed): “That’s some pretty incredible faith she’s putting in him.” *Tan-chan laughs* Kaji: “Good for you, Hope.”

Kaji (after a short pause): “Taking to heart Lightning’s words about it not being a question of can or can’t… Hope has sure grown a lot compared with the beginning of the game.” *more sounds of agreement from Tan-chan*

HOPE FINALLY HAS A POST-BATTLE LINE! Kaji is pleased.

- After giving the knife -

Kaji talks for a bit about how Lightning’s demeanor has really changed since just a bit ago. Suddenly she’s acting all kind and calm and patient. Tan-chan remarks on how she handed over the knife that’s so important to her.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HOPE’S BOOMERANG CONUNDRUM HAS BEEN SOLVED

Apparently, according to some official character summary/thing Kaji read, Hope uses a transfer device of some sort to poof his boomerang away when he’s not using it. Rejoice! We can at last write accurate fanfiction.

- Shortly after Hope tells Lightning about how he wants revenge on Snow for his mom -

Kaji points out that Lightning and Hope have been together for a long while now. He and Tan-chan make a joke about what if they never switch back to the other characters and the whole rest of the game is just Lightning and Hope adventuring together. Kaji, as Hope, narrates: “I never did meet Snow.” (rofl)

- After the cutscene about Lightning’s birthday/receiving the knife from Serah -

Kaji (as Hope): Ah! You gave me such an important item and I banged it on the ground! I’m sorry, Light-san!”

Kaji: “Man, everything since the beginning has been sad… and the flashbacks are sad… everything’s sad. Bring back Sazh!” Kaji: “I guess Sazh also has sad drama later on. There aren’t really any FF characters without sad drama, are there? Everyone’s sad!” (TRUE)

END EPISODE

Cripes! That was a beast of an episode! So much good stuff. I wish I could share more of the small moments because they’re so great, but you really need the context to properly enjoy them.

Next time: Palumpolum!

[topherfoxtrot]

First Mission

In which the thunderbolts rescue and recruit Emil Blonsky, or at least that was the plan. This idea has been on my mind for a few days and with the introduction of Valentina last tfatws episode it felt like the right time. I won't list the team members here because I want it to be a surprise. Like, reblog or comment something if you enjoy your read :)

The Barrow base is the wall corner punishment of the government. No one likes it here. It is cold, far from absolutely everything and the paycheck is for regular maintenance and security. Which is utterly unfair since besides the big computers and kinda of important paperwork we are also guarding the strongest person on earth.

"Strongest?" Guard 2 interrupted the speech. "What about hulk?"

"Dude I dunno know. When was the last time someone measured the Abomination's strength? Oh that's right, never!"

"Alright that's fair but he's surely on top five or something. Otherwise we wouldn't be in this frozen hell guarding his ass."

"You shouldn't call him that." The guards heard a female voice. They both looked around quickly but didn't see no one besides themselves.

"Did you heart that?"

"Of course I did! Call the camera room."

"You sure?"

"Have you being paying attention to anything I've said? We are guarding the strongest..."

"Yeah yeah alright" guard 2 interrupted his coworker again "Camera room this is easy wing, cryo-cell. Have you registered any unwanted activity?"

"Hello east wing." Another female voice answered, "Everything is fine and you shouldn't be worried at all!" She in a sarcastic tone.

"This is not kyle!" Guard 1 said while grabbing his gun. Except it wasn't there.

He saw a blurry figure approaching them but he was not quick enough. The figure dressed in white kicked him in the face, making the guard fall on the ground. The other guard aimed his gun at the figure but she quicky disappeared again. The guard walked backward towards the nearest wall for safety, but his strategy backfired. He felt hands grabbing his head from behind and pulling it fast. His head hit the wall and he too fell unconscious. Ava made herself visible once both guards were down.

"East wing clear." She said on the radio.

"Alright. Second floor clear as well." Said Yelena from the camera room, "what about the third floor?"

"Still working on it." John answered out of breath. It was possible to hear the shield cutting the air and someone grunting.

"Good!" Valentina Alegra said from the viewpoint where they all were half an hour ago, "Ghost do you have the device?"

"I told you not to call me that." Ava said annoyed, "And yeah the thingy is here."

"Crypto breaking device!" Justin Hammer corrected a little more harsh than he intended to. He was also in the viewpoint.

"Shut up, Hammer." Yelena snaped back.

She met Ava in the entrance to the cryo vault where Emil Blonsky was sleeping. Ava got the crypto breaking device from her pocket and inserted it in the little panel beside the big door.

"How long did he said it was gonna take?" Ava asked.

"Anywhere from 12 minutes to an hour. Remember, the password changes every thirty minutes and there's about a gazillion possible combinations."

"That is so overly complicated. Why can't I just phase through the door?"

"We talked about this." Valentina said, "We want Captain Blonsky to be welcome in a civil manner. And this includes walking him out the front door."

Ava rolled her eyes. That made Yelena laugh.

"Too easy of a mission to shield's most dangerous stealthy agent?" She teased.

"I will only allow you to say that because you were also trained as a kid to be weapon."

"Ouch!" Yelena fake grunted. They both laughed.

John Walker turned the corner and met the other two in the entrance of the cryo vault. The double doors were made of heavy metal. Even with the super soldier serum running in his veins John wouldn't be able to open that. It was projected to contain Emil. But since he never woke up it has never been proof checked.

"How is the crypto breaking device going?" He asked.

"Thank you!" Justin hammer shouted from the viewpoint.

"Still working hard I guess." Yelena said, leaning at the wall with her arms crossed.

John put the shield on his back and started stretching. The three of them remained in silence. It was their first mission together so they didn't know each other quite yet. The only thing they had in common was the Contessa.

The crypto thingy kept making this weird sounds for about ten minutes until it made a final blip and the heavy doors clicked. Invisible gears turned inside out making loud and crusty noises followed by complete silence. The three agents looked at each other with a mix of excitement and fear.

"That's your cue guys." Valentina said. Which made them wake up from the trance.

John grabbed one door and Yelena grabbed the other. They opened it at the same time. Ava was the only one to enter because she was the only one who could phase through Emil's attacks.

The room was big and empty except for the huge cryo coffin in the center of it. It was the coldest place in the base and that made a chill run up Ava's spine. Emil Blonsky was asleep as he should be.

"He's bigger than I remember."

"have you met him?" Yelena asked through the radio.

"Not personally, no. But I saw it on tv when he and the Hulk had that fight on Harlem."

"Yeah I remember that too." John said.

Ava stopped right in front of Emil's frozen body.

"When is it supposed to...?"

"At any moment now!" Justin said embarrassed.

"That's why people prefer Stark tech." Valentina said.

"Don't say that, I'm sure Hammer did his best!" Ava said trying to cheer him up but was interrupted by the loud click that came from Emil's cell, "Oh fuck it's opening!" She said, her body phased around a bit.

After the weird click the cryo made a loud woosh sound while the door opened and the room was infested with cold air. Ava changed the weight on her feet preparing for the speech she rehearsed.

Emil opened his eyes slowly. The bright cold lights annoyed him. He covered his face with his right hand but that made him look at himself. At abomination. Ava started talking.

"Captain Emil Blonsky. Good evening. I'm Ava Starr and I'm here to rescue you. I-"

"Recue me?" Emil's voice was horrifyingly deep, "Do I look like I need rescue, girl?"

Ava swallowed nervously, "Some time has passed and we need you to calm down so we can-"

"How much time?" Emil looked around. His memories started to invade his mind like a tsunami. Harlem, the hulk, his defeat, "How much time?" He repeated, louder this time.

"He's unstable!" John would run into the room, but Yelena stopped him.

"Not the time for being the hero. She can handle herself."

John pressed his lips in frustration but agreed anyway. Inside the room Ava broke the plan. She felt sorry for Emil.

"Fifteen years." She said quietly.

"What??" Valentina screamed, "You shouldn't have said that! He's gonna-"

And he did. Before the Contessa could finish her sentence Emil jumped out of the roof. From the viewpoint both her and Justin observed as the huge man landed on the snow. He looked around and jumped again. It was impossible to follow his lead.

Yelena and John entered the room. Ava looked sad, but also happy with her decision.

"Shock treatment, huh?" Yelena said.

"It's alright I don't think he can simply sneak around." John reassured.

"He's going after Bruce Banner." Ava sighted "Do we know where he is?"

"I do!" Justin said.

"The mission is still up then." Yelena said, "He didn't left through the front door but we surely rescued him, right?"

"I like your positive thinking." John tilted his head at the door, "Shall we?"

The three of them left walking. One of the guards woke up only to be hit with the shield and faint again.

Mission status: partially accomplished.