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themisanthropiclycanthrope · 7 years

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hi! merlahad prompt: during the lancelot trials Eggsy and Roxy bet on whether Harry is in a relationship. Eggsy says he's single but Roxy is convinced he has a wife. so they try to find out which one of them is right, but since harry is a private person and merlin for some reason doesn't indulge their need for gossip they don't get an answer. until one day Eggsy comes to harry's for a spontaneous visit and finds harry&merlin being horribly domestic and welp now they both lost their bet.

Hi! Thanks for the prompt! This is mostly Eggsy failing to out-spy the spies, but hopefully there’s enough Merlahad feels at the end to compensate (:

Continue beneath the cut, or read on AO3.

“You what? Harry ain’t married!”

Roxy remained unfazed by Eggsy’s retort,spluttered as it was through a snort of laughter. “I’m sure he is,” sheinsisted. “There’s absolutely no way a man like him could possibly be single.”

“But he’s a spy! I’m pretty sure they haveregulations about that kinda thing.”

“They do, but there are always exceptions.And if ever there was a Kingsman unafraid to bend the rules, don’t you think it’sGalahad?”

Eggsy couldn’t argue with that, but neithercould he quite picture Harry with a wife. Maybe it was because he didn’t thinkHarry would be so unkind as to bugger off on missions with no idea if he’d everreturn home, the poor woman never knowing if she would see him again. Or maybeit was something more tangible.

“But he don’t wear a ring!” He grinned intriumph, certain he had hit upon incontrovertible proof.

Roxy rolled her eyes heavenward, unconvinced.“Of course not, he’s a spy.”

His own argument turned back on him, Eggsyscowled in the face of her logic. She was right; Harry would hardly riskproviding enemies with details of his private life, gifting them potentialtargets.

“And why else would he have been so eagerto hurry home tonight?” Roxy continued, stacking up her evidence with glee. “He’srarely on time for anything, so it must be important. Maybe today’s theiranniversary, or her birthday…”

“Or maybe he just wanted to catch the XFactor results,” Eggsy countered. Roxy’s withering look told him exactlywhat she thought of that suggestion. “Yeah, okay, but you still ain’t gonnaconvince me he’s married.”

“How much?”

“How much what?”

“How much do you want to bet you’reright?”

Eggsy wasn’t exactly flush, but hecouldn’t pass up on a wager with a mate, which Roxy was fast becoming. “Twentyquid says he’s single.”

“You’re on.”

Roxy offered her hand and they shook,sealing the deal.

Proving he was right turned out to be moredifficult than Eggsy had assumed it would be. Thankfully, that meant neitherwas he being proven wrong, which was something at least, and his moneyremained safe. For now.

A naturally private man with years of trainingand successful service as a secret agent, Harry was an infuriatingly hard nutto crack.

“So, how do you spend your downtime then?”Eggsy enquired of him during one of the rare times the candidates were granteda breather.

“How do you mean?”

“I dunno. I mean, you must get the odd daywhen you ain’t off saving the world. Do you watch the footy? Play Xbox? Chillwith your mates?”

“Even if I knew what those things were, I’mquite certain the answer would still be no.”

Eggsy was sure Harry was beingdeliberately obtuse, but every attempt to switch tactics was met with furtherevasion.

After receiving a text from his mum—therewas news of a free sim deal and she’d let him know if she got a new number andhow was he getting on?—Eggsy took one final punt.

“Must be hard not being able to sharestuff with your loved ones.”

“Is that something you think you’ll have aproblem with?”

“Nah, bruv. You know I can keep me mouthshut. But it must suck not being able to talk about it when you’ve had a shitday.”

“We all find ways to deal with the shit,as well as celebrate our triumphs.”

“Yeah? What do you do then?”

Harry smiled a small, private smile. “Itusually involves a nice martini.”

The subtle approach was getting Eggsyprecisely nowhere. Harry was accustomed to withstanding more refinedinterrogation than Eggsy’s clumsy attempts at prying into his private life.Short of coming right out and just asking him, Eggsy was soon out of ideas.

Except one.

“You’ve known Harry a long time, right?”

“I have.”

“What’s he like when he’s not being AgentGalahad? Is he always that posh?” Merlin was just staring at him, faceunreadable, so Eggsy forged on, aiming for casual. “I’ll bet he’s properromantic. Does he have a girlfriend?”

“Why the sudden interest?” Merlin quirkedan eyebrow. “You don’t have designs on Galahad, do you, Eggsy?”

“What?! Fuck no! I mean, he’s pretty fitfor his age and that, I suppose, but I ain’t…” Eggsy trailed off when he sawminute smile twitching at the corner of Merlin’s mouth. “Bastard. I was justwondering.”

“Perhaps you should apply your mind to themore pertinent matter of taking down those targets.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eggsy turned his attentionback to the range and fired his remaining shots. Thanks to his Marine training,this was something he was actually decent at, so it didn’t much matter that hismind continued to wander.

Merlin had been a crap choice of subjectfor information gathering. Their stoic quartermaster was clearly not so easilydrawn into gossip.

But before Eggsy could come up with PlanC, everything went tits up.

When Harry was lying unconscious in theinfirmary bed, he received notably few visitors. The other agents popped in,and Arthur, of course, but the only person who spent more time at his bedsidethan Eggsy was Merlin.

Roxy argued that they probably didn’tallow non-Kingsman personnel on site, but Eggsy was convinced they would makean exception for a spouse whose husband was in a critical condition.

When he woke up, at least Harry had Merlinthere to look after him.

“Guess where I’ve been?”

Roxy glanced up at Eggsy and waited to beenlightened.

“Harry’s house.”

“Oh!” Now she looked properlyinterested. “And?”

“No sign of a wife, I’m afraid.” Eggsytried not to look too smug.

Roxy frowned, thinking over this newinformation. “That makes sense, if you think about it. We were only grantedtwenty-four hours, so she must have offered to go out and give you and Harrysome time alone.”

“Ah, but you didn’t see his house. It’s atotal bachelor pad, no sign of a woman’s touch anywhere.” Harry’s decor hadperhaps been a little eccentric, but there had been a notable lack of the kindof things Eggsy guessed women usually liked to have around the home. He wasonly basing this conclusion on his own mum, really, and he wasn’t so shallow asto think all women were the same, but he thought his general theory held.

“So you checked the bedroom? The bathroomcabinets?”

Eggsy deflated. Roxy had a point. MaybeHarry’s hypothetical wife shared his taste in the mildly bizarre, but she wouldcertainly have her own set of toiletries and stuff. A grin split Roxy’s face,proclaiming her small victory.

“We was a bit busy,” Eggsy said,defensive. Learning how to make the perfect martini had taken precedence oversnooping through Harry’s underwear drawer, although he was now cursing themissed opportunity.

He soon set about rectifying hisoversight.

Harry had said he was welcome to visit,but turning up unannounced on his doorstep might be a bit rude. Thankfully,Harry didn’t seem pissed to see him, and Eggsy was invited in.

“We’ve already had dinner, I’m afraid, butyou’re welcome to join us for a drink.”

Eggsy perked up at the we, hisheart sinking a little at the confirmation that Roxy had been correct allalong. Nonetheless, his curiosity had been piqued, and he followed Harrythrough to the living room only to pause in the doorway, baffled.

“Merlin!”

Kingsman’s tech wizard looked up from thetablet perched on his knee, glanced at Harry over Eggsy’s shoulder, thenreturned his attention to Eggsy.

“Good evening, Eggsy.”

It was obvious he was confused by Eggsy’sunexpected appearance, but Harry took control, ushering Eggsy to an armchairand fetching another glass to prepare him a drink. He also took the opportunityto refresh his own and Merlin’s before taking a seat beside Merlin on the sofa.

Merlin tapped a few final times on thetablet, then set it aside on the small table beside him, giving his shrewdattention to their guest. With dawning realisation, Eggsy guessed he must haveinterrupted some kind of casual work meeting.

If that was the case, Harry didn’t seem tomind, smiling at Eggsy as he sipped his martini. “To what do we owe thepleasure?”

“I just wanted to say thanks.” Eggsy waswinging it, but went with his heart. “For believing in me, giving me thisopportunity. Not many people have ever done that for me, y’know.”

“I am very pleased my gut instinct provedcorrect, and I have every faith you’ll be equally successful in your next test.Don’t you think, Merlin?”

“He has performed admirably so far, aye,but I’m afraid I must remain impartial.”

“Of course.” But Harry gave Eggsy a lookthat said not to take any notice.

They continued to chat, Eggsy relaxing inthe company and happy not to have seen any sign of the elusive wife. About halfan hour later the conversation waned and Harry yawned with a hand to his mouthand a word of apology.

He was probably still recovering from thecoma, and Eggsy felt a bit of a dick for imposing on his rest. He was about tomake his excuses and leave when Harry leaned across Merlin to place his emptyglass on the end table. Rather than straightening up, he remained pressedagainst Merlin’s side, settling comfortably as if he fully intended to staythere. After a moment, his head dropped to Merlin’s shoulder, his eyes droopingshut.

Merlin froze, awkward, his gaze flickingfrom Eggsy to the man lounging against him. He gave Harry a gentle nudge.

“Perhaps it’s time you took yourself offto bed,” he suggested, tone carefully neutral.

Harry gave a sleepy smile and raised ahand, trailing his fingers lazily down Merlin’s chest, suggestive heat in hisvoice when he spoke. “Only if you’ll join me, darling.”

Merlin grasped Harry’s hand, halting itscaress. “Harry.” The mild warning in his tone was enough to rouse Harry, whoimmediately sat up, aware and contrite.

“Shit, I’m sorry. That was terriblyinappropriate of me.”

The silence that followed was filled for amoment with embarrassed uncertainty, until Eggsy grinned at the pair of them,everything finally slotting into place. It was incredible that neither he norRoxy had figured it out sooner, it just seemed so…obvious. So right.

His reaction must have been enough toreassure Merlin, for he hooked an arm around Harry’s shoulders and hauled himback in, the tension in his rigid posture visibly ebbing. “Come here, you daftbastard.” There was such fond affection in his voice, in the way he looked atthe man curled up against his side, that Eggsy wondered how he had ever thoughtMerlin so terrifying. No doubt he’d be reminded soon enough, but at that momenthe was granted the honour of sharing in their happiness.

It did, however, quickly become a bit toosappy, and Eggsy decided he had overstayed his welcome.

“I think it’s time I was getting back. I’llsee meself out.”

There was a mumble from the sofa as Harryand Merlin bade him good night, quite happy to remain where they were.

As he left, Eggsy took care of one finalpiece of business, snapping a quick photo with his phone and sending it to Roxywith an accompanying message.

Call it a draw?

#kingsman #fiction #merlahad #harry hart #merlin #prompt fic #anonymous #i'm not as fond of this one as the others #i think because it has more dialogue than i usually write #he says when the next thing he's writing is nothing BUT dialogue atm #but hopefully it's not too awful #eggsy unwin #roxy morton #and domestic merlahad feels

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swanimagines · 4 years

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Hey! Can you do B98 + C38 with Diaval (Maleficent)? Thanks!

Fandom: Disney / Maleficent

A/N: These prompts were pushing an idea through which probably relates to my life situation atm but I couldn’t make up anything else in other ways than forcing myself to write something else, which I didn't wanna do (because forcing myself to write results in a bad fic). Diaval’s dialogue is inspired by what my friends/nurses/mom have said. But I hope you still can read this without it feeling too personal & like it!

Word count: 810

Prompts: B98. “Nobody is perfect. That’s what makes you special.” and C38. “It just feels like I can never let go… even if I try.”

You had been sitting against the tree for hours already, your legs swinging over the ledge as an occasional tear rolled down your cheek. You had had nightmares about it for months. You should have just kept quiet, let her say whatever she wanted. You always told yourself that when you relived the situation in your dreams, but it always ended up in flashes of Nyrra smirking at you, as the Faery council was berating you for blowing up at her - suddenly she was the only victim, and you were the only person who had done wrong. That same situation had gone through over and over during your whole friendship - in front of others she was like another fairy, and you felt like another person with her. And no matter how hard you promised to be better next time, neither of you learned. The Faery Council had berated you about Nyrra for years, but this last time was the time when they told you they’re kicking you out, because you’re a toxic member in the community who only brings bad for them, that you were becoming a “Dark Fairy” and they had to protect themselves.

Maybe they were right.

You saw a shadow coming towards you, and recognized him by the footsteps - you remembered telling Nyrra how you had a crush on Diaval. You remembered how she laughed while gushing about how cute you would be together, her laugh illuminating the whole room, your heart feeling light, you were feeling loved - now you felt stupid, trusting her with matters like that, as she had mocked you to everyone for having that crush, and that way Diaval found out about it too. Nyrra was a lovely person, but she could be manipulative at times, and you always knew in your heart that it would be the doom of your friendship one day.

Your friends were by your side, fortunately. The Faery Council hadn’t kicked them out, but because of those events they weren’t active in there anymore. They had had enough. And you just hoped you’d never see Nyrra again, you hated her now. You swore to yourself and everyone around you that you’ll never forgive her, and everyone told you that it’s a good call.

But fairies weren’t created to hate. They were created to bring joy, safety, and to guard the magical lands. So the hatred in you burned you from inside, felt like darkness could consume you one day. So when Diaval sat beside you, you were immediately scared of blowing up again. What if you really were becoming a Dark Fairy? Diaval seemed to notice tears in your eyes, because he reached to touch your shoulder.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you took in a shaky breath. “Are you okay?”

His touch was everything you wanted when you were still friends with Nyrra, but now it felt like you’d destroy him too if you let him to come too close. Nyrra had been succesful in putting that thought your head - you’ll bring nothing but harm to people around you. She was winning.

“I… I’m just breaking everything.” you whispered and closed your eyes for a moment. “And I don’t know how to fix those things.”

You felt Diaval looking at you, before he sighed and pulled you to lie on his lap, stroking your wings and head, and you didn’t bother to pull away. You were scared of breaking Diaval’s trust and heart too, to drive him away, but for just this moment, you chose to relax to his touch.

“Nyrra once said that we’d be fitting for each other, you know?” you bit your lip. “She said she’d be the ringbearer if we ever got married. And I believed her.”

Diaval stopped stroking your wings for a moment. “Do you miss her?”

“Her as I knew, yes. Memories, yes. But not her. The real her. No.” you swallowed. “What she did… it feels like I can never let go... even if I try. I have so much hate in me, fairies shouldn’t hate anyone. What if I’m becoming bad?”

You took in a deep sigh as Diaval started to stroke your wings again, picking the bad feathers off and you just lied there in silence, watching the setting sun.

“Y/N, the Mistress had hate in her for a long time too. She almost killed Aurora because of it, but she got a redemption. Hate is normal. You’re not becoming a Dark Fairy because of it.” Diaval fell silent for a bit. “Nobody is perfect. That’s what makes you special. And you’re strong, you’ll get through those thoughts.”

You were silent for a bit, before you mustered up a smile and looked up to your favorite raven. He smiled back at you - and that moment of affection and talking was everything you needed on that moment.

Tags: @captainshazamerica @bravelittlesunflower

#diaval #diaval imagine #maleficent #maleficent imagine #disney #disney imagine #my works #imagine #imagines #reader insert #diaval drabble #disney drabble #drabble #gn reader

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catchmewiddershins · 3 years

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ahh ok ok, it's good !! i'm only halfway thru but mAN, i'm hooked HAHA, and abt the type, mmm i don't really have a preference tbh, i just take a look at the blurb and if it's interesting to me, then i send a message to my mom n she decided whether to buy it or not

as for recs, i've only gotten into reading recently, but i have a few that i've been wanting to read

- agatha christie seems to be pretty popular, and i think she writes on horror, so i'll look into that

- there's also this guy, anthony horowitz, and i'm very interested in reading a book of his, the word is murder (it's out of stock on our local bookstore, so i'm just waiting on it)

- one of us is lying and one of us is next is popular with my friends and classmates, so i'm interested in it as well

but do you have any book recs? i'd like to get more into it, but i haven't been able to find a lot of good ones ; i dont mind the genre, i just get at what seems interesting to me, so feel free to drop your favorites :D

HMMMM IMMA CHECK THAT ONE OUT :DD

ok so what you got sounds good I'll give you some basic recs because I want to explore the genre a bit more myself lol (my sister also really wants to read One of us is Lying lol)

Classics (not old but like... famous):

- an Inspector Calls - a play that's quite famous, it's a script so it's all dialogue and the story is revealed through an interrogation it's a classic for a reason :) - An inspector comes to the house of a rich family in the (oh dear) like mid 1800s? Anyway he claims that they are all guilty of driving a working class woman to suicide and the whole story is slowly revealed it's so GOOD

- Oedipus Rex - ok this is an old classic but :)))) what can I say - it's another play and it's good! Technically it's a tragedy but the plot of the tragedy is Oedipus trying to solve a mystery - chances are you know the ending but that's the point, knowing the ending creates tension as he tries to figure it out and you wonder when the ball is going to drop

- Sherlock Holmes - I... I haven't actually read these but one of my best friends has and she KEEPS bugging me to read them so it's on the list because it's a classic and also my bestie likes them

- Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - Pretty short! And so so good! You probably recognise the story and it has it's fame for a reason... t's written from the POV of this Judge? I think? I can't remember his career, anyway he becomes involved in these murders and he decides to find out who's doing it and then track the perpetrator down and it's also sci-fi and psychological I believe anyway definite recommendation

Lower level (so like ages 11 - 15? I mean that's the age I was when I read them so):

- The Mysterious Benedict Society series - honestly? I want to reread these because a television adaption is coming out and I'm mad about some of the cuts they made - it's about a group of children recruited to stop someone from brainwashing the world

- the Lady Grace mysteries - definitely around the 11/12 age when I read these so they're quite an easy read but what can I say I still like them and easy reads are good and fun - it's set in the late 1500s and the main character is Grace, goddaughter to Queen Elizabeth the first, and she becomes a private detective for the Queen for various murders happening around court while outwitting the official (male) detective who thinks that her observations are worth pretty much nothing - she also has to keep it a secret from the other Maids of Honour (like ladies in waiting but... nobles)

- Orphan Monster Spy - ok I loved this when I read it at... 13/14/15? Anyway it's about a Jewish girl in WW2 who goes undercover at a school for nazi's children to gather information it is very good

- The murder most unladylike series - OK this I read at 10/11/12 as well but just because books are for younger audiences doesn't mean they aren't gripping and they're often more creative! My sister is reading this atm and she loves it ehe - it's two girls at a boarding school that start solving mysteries together

Higher Level (so like... 15/16/17? When I read or have been recommended and all that jazz):

- Oryx and Crake - This is written by Margaret Atwood which means it's good. The woman is a legend! Handmaid's Tale COULD be considered thriller or smth like it's sci-fi but like... cmon so that's another rec by her. My English teacher and my mum keep recommending me this but I haven't started it yet... general consensus is it's good though!

- Jane Harper - She's an author who's mysteries are apparently pretty good? I have one and they all seem to be popular sooooo a recommendation :)

- The Declaration + sequels - These are written by Gemma Malley and ALL I CAN REMEMBER ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY ARE is that when I was taking my GCSE mocks (I was 15 half of us were 16) we had to do revision in an exam hall and um anyway I read this book and the Resistance instead and did not do any revision I was hooked - not really a mystery or crime technically I don't think but definitely that vibe - Basically it's a future world where children just aren't a thing? The government has designed drugs for longevity and kids born outside of the law become 'surplus' and are all housed together but this girl meets a boy from outside (I cannot for the life of me remember if they get together or not) and they escape and go to investigate the government and where these drugs are coming from

I'll add more if I read them... IDEA! This list will have a tag (#wid's book recs! and #wid's mystery recs!) so I'll add recs to it when I get them so it'll be constantly evolving and I'll do the same for other genres at some point! I had a few more that I wanted to add but I forgot and the cat is being clingy

#🕰️ deiseil #clockhand: maia 💥#hour hands!#wid talks books #wid's book recs!#wid's mystery recs!

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angelatmidnight1 · 4 years

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hey there! so glad you're back, and happy new years btw!! idk if you're taking prompts atm so don't feel like you have to write this straight away (since you just posted a new fanfic anyway, and it was worth the wait as always), but i was thinking maybe you could write something with wattson and loba? because on this current season, loba is trying to be nicer to her, to kind of make up for the S5 accident, and i mean we love to see that character development lol. cheers!

A/N: Hi, happy (very late) New Years! I’ve actually picked up Loba as my secondary main, so I was really excited to write for both her and Wattson. This story is based on quest events from season 5 and onward, as well as the Legends’ dialogue mainly between Loba, Wattson, and Crypto (this video kind of shows the lines, but I couldn't find the one I originally watched). I was also inspired by a post from @thebliznet, which helped the story along a lot. Thank you for allowing me to mention your post and the blog! I hope this story is to your liking anon :). I had fun writing it.

Unleashing Your Inner Wolf- After Wattson’s accident, Loba has kept a watchful eye over her. This is especially true after Revenant has sworn to ruin the thief’s life. When the murderous simulacrum joined the Apex Games, Loba was hellbent on killing him herself. But, this wasn’t a job she had to do alone. Loba had all of the Legends wrapped around her fingers with the dirt she had on them, and she was pleased to have them at her disposal. The job was simple: find the artifacts she needed, locate Revenant’s source code, and end his miserable existence. So, when Wattson wandered into the building alone to retrieve an artifact, her plans literally went up in flames. Not only was she further away from what she wanted, someone nearly died, and it wasn’t the demonio. Loba secretly thanks the gods for Wattson’s recovery; the engineer has a harsher view of the world now, yes, but she’s alive. It was the first and last time that Loba would put someone in danger on her behalf. After having her as a teammate during a couple of games, Loba discovers some new, interesting information: Wattson spends a great deal of time speaking with Crypto. And, the thief finds their nervous, awkward interactions absolutely adorable. Loba decides to take the engineer under her wing to teach her the art of flirting. But first, she has to teach her the most important lesson out there: self love. Wattson finds her lessons a bit unorthodox, and is reluctant to open up. So, Loba’s first job is getting her to smile...and maybe laugh, too.

When Crypto fell on the battlefield, Loba was quick to toss her bracelet and teleport to his aid. She had a Guardian Angel backpack and there were fences set up within their hideout to deter an enemy push. She was just slipping her bracelet back on when someone else rounded the corner and ran over to the downed hacker. It was Wattson, who put her Interception Pylon in the center of the room to deny incoming projectiles. The engineer heard an angry “bloody hell” from the explosive expert outside, which made her grin inwardly. Natalie knelt down and rubbed her hands together to generate a charge. Unlike the rest of the Legends, the engineer revived her teammates by using her equipment like a defibrillator.

“Got you Tae J---ohhh…” Instead of pulling him up, Wattson accidentally dropped him back onto the floor, covering her mouth with both hands. Crypto landed with a heavy thump and a groan.

“Ugh, Natalie..” The hacker winced, prompting her to start the revive again, her mind still racing to finish her sentence.

“J...Joules and Watts are tied for my favorite units of measurements. And yours?” Natalie giggled nervously after she successfully pulled the man back onto his feet. She looked over her shoulder to see Loba staring at them like they each had two heads. But then, the enemy Bangalore shot at her through the window, giving the engineer and hacker a welcome distraction.

“...I’ll get better at this. I promise.” Wattson smiled and pushed a Phoenix Kit into Crypto’s hands. Crypto sighed and put the healing item to use, giving her a small smile of his own.

“Thank you, Natalie.” Tae Joon huddled in the corner of the room to stay out of enemy sights. This prompted Natalie to put another fence at the doorway that would lead to them. No one was going to get in and hurt her friend; not if she had something to say about it! So, when she heard someone approaching, Wattson immediately pointed her Mastiff at the door, ready to take down whoever managed to slip in. She yelped and fired at the thief when she stuck her head in; fortunately, there was no friendly fire allowed in the Games.

“Relax, it’s just me.” Loba frowned and walked further into the room. “The whole squad’s down and a wall of death is coming our way. We need to move.”

“Got it!” Wattson hopped to her feet and offered a hand to the hacker. Crypto reached up to take it but froze, looking over Natalie’s shoulder. For some reason, the thief was still looking at them. The engineer arched a brow and, since she didn’t see what he saw, she grabbed onto his hand anyway. “Let’s go, Crypto. Allons-y!”

Crypto stood without a word and followed the engineer out of the room. Wattson didn’t release his hand even when they were well inside the ring. The hacker cleared his throat and gave the woman’s hand a gentle, but urgent squeeze, and she promptly let go of him. But, since Loba was trailing behind them, she saw everything, and a knowing smirk graced her lips.

Loba found the engineer in her room after the match was over. Her high heels sounding throughout the hallway announced her arrival way before she did. So, by the time the thief sauntered to her doorway, Wattson was already facing her.

“Ah, there’s the little heart breaker in the making…” Loba grinned and leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed against her chest. The engineer furrowed her brows and pushed her organized clutter further back onto her desk.

“Huh? What’re you talking about?” Wattson appeared even more confused as she approached her. Loba glanced to the woman’s desk; besides the textbooks and random sticky notes everywhere, the thief didn’t see any obvious signs of a romantic rendezvous. No roses, no letters, and worse: no shiny trinkets.

“I used to think hand holding was a dying art. No more lingering touches, or a bat of the eye. Nowadays it’s just sloppy grabbing, a couple minutes of heavy breathing, and then...nothing.” Loba let out a wistful sigh as stood behind the younger woman, putting her hands on her shoulders. “It’s all quite dull, if you ask me. But then, I saw you and Crypto holding hands…”

The realization hit Wattson and her face turned pink. For a moment, she was at a loss for words, so the thief continued. “And it was so refreshing to see. It’s subtle. Innocent. And yet...intimate. Especially with the right person.”

Wattson hopped out of her chair and faced the thief, her pink face quickly turning red. “I...I didn’t...I wasn’t...he was injured!” She stammered, suddenly unable to meet Loba’s teasing gaze. “I only held his hand to make sure he was okay!”

“Oh, of course, beautiful. That’s kind of you..” Loba chuckled and stepped in front of her. She knelt down, “In fact, it was so kind that it must’ve stuck with him the whole time he watched you walk away~.”

Wattson looked up with a gasp and finally met her gaze. Her face grew even redder as she struggled to find her words again. “...Crypto and I...we--we’re just friends. That’s all. I’m sure he was just...um...w-watching my back. His drone is very useful on the battlefield.” She put a hand on the back of her neck; it was burning hot, just like her face.

Loba didn’t want the engineer to pass out on her, so she took a step back to give her some breathing room. “I can’t argue with you there. But...what do you think of him?” She tilted her head to the side and smiled. “He’s on the quieter side, I’ll have to admit. But he’s very handsome, no?”

“...Well..maybe...” Natalie toyed with the ends of her shirt as she looked to the corner of the room. There was a radio that Octane gave her a while back, and Loba caught her looking at it. This made the thief smirk again.

“Where’d you get that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a radio like that before.” Loba strutted over to the little device and picked it up. Natalie perked up and hurried over to gently take it from her.

“Oh! Octavio gave this to me. He spray painted it using my favorite colors.” The engineer visibly relaxed and finally allowed herself to smile. Loba’s eyebrows rose and, grinning, she couldn’t help but to tease her again.

“Oh, so there’s two people vying for your affection. You like to have options.” Loba giggled when the engineer’s face turned a deeper shade of red. “I like how you think. There’s so many beautiful people out there...why limit yourself to one?”

“No! It isn’t like that, really!” Natalie insisted and put her radio back down so she didn’t drop it. “I mean...Octavio and Ta---er, Crypto, are attractive, yes. But I wouldn’t flirt with them! Because...well, I...don’t know how.”

Loba wanted to laugh, but this new bit of information surprised her. She arched a brow and crossed one leg over the other. “You don’t know how?”

“Well, I know how.” The engineer corrected herself and fiddled with her hair next. “But I don’t know what to say! Plus, I don’t want to make things awkward between us.”

Loba’s eyes softened; the engineer was too cute. “Aw, it’s alright, doll. A little harmless flirting every now and then doesn’t hurt anyone. Keeps things interesting, if you ask me.” She smirked, playfully nudging her side with her elbow. Natalie stiffened and pursed her lips.

“That’s easy for you to say. You flirt with everybody.” The engineer muttered, giving her a coy smile when Loba feigned offense.

“Oh, come on, I do not flirt with everyone. I’m very selective in who I choose. Not everyone is worth my time.” Loba fired back with a grin. It didn’t seem like she was winning the engineer over, so she decided to switch tactics. “I suppose you can say there’s a certain elegance to flirting. If you’d like, I’ll show you. Free of charge, of course.”

Wattson looked up at the woman skeptically. The engineer didn’t know her as well as some of her other friends, but she didn’t believe that she would steer her wrong. “Er..how do you propose to do that?”

Loba beamed at her and gestured to her closet with a manicured hand. “Put on your favorite outfit, then stop by my room.” She grinned and sauntered back out into the hallway. She looked over her shoulder and saw the uncertainty lingering in her eyes. She sighed, “Trust me, beautiful. I won’t embarrass you. I know just what you need to have whomever you like flocking over to you.”

“...Okay, Loba. I’ll be there in a moment.” Wattson smiled and waited for her to leave so that she could change clothes.

Natalie opted for a simple outfit with her favorite Nessie shirt and jeans. She stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her. Then, she wandered down the hall until she got to the thief’s room. She could hear music playing as she approached the door, and found the thief idly swaying to the beat when she stepped into the room.

Loba beckoned for the engineer to come closer, another smirk on her face. “Come on in. I don’t bite.” She snickered, her cocky smirk giving way to a small smile. “You look cute.”

“Merci. Um...so what will we be doing, exactly?” The engineer peeked behind Loba to see a pole in the corner of the room. She blinked; what on Earth was this woman planning?

“Well, before we work on making your special Legend fall for you, I think you could use a bit of a confidence boost.” Loba smiled and strode over to her pole, hooking an arm around it. “I’m going to teach you how to pole dance.”

Wattson’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates, and her face turned a bright shade of red. Loba immediately put up her hands.

“Hold on, it’s not what you think. I didn’t say you were stripping, nor does pole dancing have to involve it. This is about doing something fun, something that makes you feel sexy. Because when you feel good, you look good. And others notice it too…” Loba smiled at her hopefully and extended a hand. “Won’t you give it a try, love? If at any point you don’t like it, we stop. Simple as that.”

“Umm...a-alright…” Natalie blushed even more as she took the thief’s hand. Loba beamed excitedly and led her to the pole.

“Wonderful. Now, let’s just set the mood.” Loba had the best wireless speakers that a thief could get their hands on, and she switched the current song to something slower.

“Mmm, there we go. So! The first thing you want to do is take your dominant hand, and reach high above your head.” Loba demonstrated what Natalie needed to do on the opposite side of the pole. “Then you want to...ah, hold on.” She let go of her side of the pole and walked behind the engineer. “Make sure your shoulders are down and back, like this…”

Loba took her shoulders and gently maneuvered them in the correct position. Her nails gently brushed against them as she drew back, causing the younger woman to squeak and flinch. The thief looked down at her with an arched brow. “...What?”

“Pardon (Sorry), Loba! It’s just...your nails are long, and that tickled a bit.” Natalie smiled sheepishly and rolled her shoulders. Loba chuckled and stood behind her again.

“Oh, not a problem.” The thief put her shoulders in the correct position one more time; then, smirking, she stood back in front of her to continue the lesson. “There we go, perfect. Next, you want to stand on your toes, and take three steps with the leg closest to the pole. So, like this…”

Loba walked Wattson through the rest of the steps for a basic, fireman spin. The engineer caught on quickly but, although she was performing the moves correctly, her overall movement was pretty stiff. It didn’t help that Octane wandered down the hallway, drawn to the music, and curiously poked his head in the room. He wasn’t wearing his usual mask and was eating a candy bar; but, when he saw Natalie pole dancing, his jaw dropped...along with his snack. Thankfully, Natalie didn’t notice him because of the music and her focus; Loba, on the other hand, heard the sound and she glanced at the door. She narrowed her eyes at the daredevil, mouthing ‘get out, or you’re dead.’ She grabbed her staff and pointed it at him to show that she wasn’t messing around. Octane held up his hands and, nudging the candy bar back towards him with his leg, he picked it up and took off down the hall. After a few more spins, Wattson stood up straight and looked up at the thief.

“Loba? Did I do it right?” Natalie panted a bit and rubbed the back of her neck. Loba turned back around; the engineer got the moves down to a T, but there was still something missing. She looked so shy, so unsure of herself...and, perking up, Loba knew exactly what she needed.

“You did, and I’m impressed. I don’t see many people catch on to this sort of thing so quickly.” She complimented, slowly making her way back to her side. Wattson re-assumed the position by the pole, assuming that they were going to practice again. The thief chuckled. “There is just one, tiny thing I think you need to do…”

Wattson looked up at her and stepped away from the pole. She was flattered by the compliment...but, the mischievous glint in the she-wolf’s eyes made her falter. “Okay...what is it?”

“...Smile.” Loba grinned and latched her hand onto her hip, giving it a quick squeeze. Wattson yelped and lurched away from her hand, but Loba was quick to close the distance. When the engineer pushed her hand off of one hip, she just squeezed the other one instead. Loba already had her laughing before she even pinned her down onto the mattress behind her.

“Nohohohohoh! Nohohohoh Lohohohohba, dohohohn’t!” Natale panicked and tried to roll away from the she-wolf. She arched her back when Loba’s manicured nails found her sides, giggling loudly. “DohohoHOHOHOHN’T!”

“Don’t what?” Loba grinned and gently poked at her belly, tracing five manicured nails up and down her torso. Wattson’s giggles picked up to laughter and she bucked her hips.

“DOHOHOohohohohn’t tihihihckle mehehehehehe!” The engineer squeaked and struggled harder when the thief slipped her hand underneath her shirt, clawing at her bare stomach. “LOHOHOHOHBAHAHA!”

“Oh, that tickles? I had no idea.” Loba smirked and lifted her shirt up to give her better access to her stomach. She slowed her tickles to gentle, featherlight strokes along her tummy. This still made the engineer laugh, but not quite as hard. “Why didn’t you tell me you were ticklish before? That would’ve made things much easier.”

Natalie giggled uncontrollably and sucked in her belly to try and escape the tickles. Not only did it fail, but Loba kept up the slow, teasing pace, which sent ticklish shivers up her spine. “N-Nohohohohohoh ihhihiht wohohohohuhuhldn’t!” She tittered, another laugh escaping her as the thief gave her hips another squeeze.

“Yes it would!” Loba snickered, kneading her thumbs into the woman’s hip bones. Wattson squealed and bucked her hips, but Loba didn’t let go of them. “A smile can bring even the hardest of men, and women, to their knees, falling for you...”

The color came rushing back to Wattson’s face as she squirmed in the she-wolf’s iron-hold, giggling. “Okahahahay! Okahahahay I’ll smhihihihle MOHOHOHOHRE!” Natalie shrieked and laughed when Loba’s fingers scribbled back into her stomach. “STAHAHAHAHAH!”

“Oho, yes. You certainly will be smiling more...” Loba teased and swiped her nails from one side of her tummy to the next. She laughed at the squeal it produced, which only encouraged her to tickle faster. “You’re stuck with the big bad wolf, and she’s going to tickle you to pieces~.”

Wattson fell into a deeper fit of laughter and increased her efforts to escape. The thief’s fingers strayed away from her stomach and scritched to her lowermost ribs. Natalie’s eyes widened and her laughter went up a few pitches as she rocked side to side. “NOHOHOHOHOH! PLEHEHEHEAHAHSE DOHOHOHOHN’T!” She begged, pulling at her trapped arms repeatedly. Loba had her arms pinned underneath her thighs and despite all of her struggling, they didn’t move an inch. “LOHOHOHOBAHAHA NOHOHAHAHAHAHA!”

Loba raised a brow and grinned, suddenly swiping her nails up the entire length of her ribs. Natalie squeaked and arched her back, causing the thief to giggle. “I think this is a good spot..” She purred, resting her hands back onto her lowermost ribs. She kneaded in between the bones and moved up her ribcage. The engineer kicked her legs against the bed and laughed louder, which made the thief smirk. “Aw, does that tickle? That looks like it tickles so much..”

Wattson turned crimson at the teasing and she shook her head, filling up the room with her laughter. Her laughter was so infectious that Loba laughed along with her, poking her fingers into her uppermost ribs. “No?” She tilted her head to the side when Natalie shrieked and threw her head back, laughing. Then, grinning, the she-wolf leaned in and repeatedly tweaked those ribs. “Are you sure?”

Wattson shook her head even harder and whipped her body around, trying to avoid her long nails. When that didn’t work, she opted for attempting to buck Loba off of her...which also failed. So, the engineer continued to laugh herself silly and make futile attempts to escape. “NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I-I MEHEHEHAHAHAN--AH!” The thief leaned over and blew a raspberry onto her bare stomach. “DOHOHOHOHN’T DOHOHOHOH THAHAHT HAHAHAAHA!”

“Do what?” Loba chuckled and blew another raspberry, snickering when the engineer bucked her hips again. She blew another raspberry on a different spot on her stomach, and then another one somewhere else. She resumed wriggling her nails on her uppermost ribs while she continued blowing on her stomach, sending the engineer on a one-way trip to hysterics.

“THAHAHAHAHT!” Wattson screamed and shut her eyes tight, her laughter sounding squeakier each time Loba’s lips made contact with her stomach. “STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP THAHAHAHAHT! PLEHEHEHEHEAHAHAHSE!”

Loba paused, pretending to think, only to resume tickling the younger woman’s ribs and stomach. “Hmm, what if I don’t want to stop?” She hummed, swiping her fingers back down the length of her ribcage. The engineer yelped and snorted, making Loba giggle again. “What if I find it enjoyable to make you laugh so much?”

The thief eased up on the tickling so that Natalie could speak. Wattson’s laughter died down to giggles as Loba squeezed her sides and hips. “Iheheheheheheheh ahahahahalready ahaahahahaham!” She tittered, snickering as Loba stroked her nails up her torso. Loba wriggled her nails in slow, circular motions just underneath Natalie’s ribcage, causing her to jolt and giggle harder. “I’m ahahahahalrehehehady laahahahaughihihihng!”

“So you are. But, I think I can make you laugh a little bit more, no?” Loba smirked and tickled further up her ribcage. This time, she pressed her fingertips into the bones and kneaded each rib individually. Wattson’s eyes bugged out and she squealed, dissolving back into laughter.

“NOHOHOHOHOH! YOHOHOHU DOHOHOHN’T NEEHEHEHED TOHOHOHO!” The engineer yelled, kicking her legs out again as she laughed. She twisted her torso around, but Loba kept up with her struggling and focused on the most sensitive ribs. Her laughter and squirming grew more desperate by the second, and Loba took advantage of her adorable state to lower herself back towards her stomach. By the time Wattson noticed, it was too late; Loba took a deep breath and ducked her head down, blowing a raspberry right over her navel. Natalie shrieked and thrashed around violently, but this didn’t deter the she-wolf. “NAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHP! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHP IHIHIHIHIHIHT!”

Loba was still blowing the raspberry as the engineer cackled out her demands; she made sure to empty her lungs. Then, instead of complying, she brushed her fingers against her uppermost ribs again while she blew another lung-emptying raspberry over her navel. By then, Wattson was howling with laughter. After a few more raspberries, Loba reached up further and burrowed her nails into her armpits, prompting a sudden shriek of desperate laughter.

“NONONOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA! PAHAHAHAHAHS IHIHIHCI! PAHAHAHAHAHAS IHIHIHIHCI! (Not there! Not there!)” Natalie screamed and pulled at her arms as much as she could. Loba smirked widely and stopped tickling, but kept her nails pressed into the woman’s armpits.

“Well, well, well...look what I’ve found…” The thief purred, applying just a little bit of pressure to make her shiver and giggle. “This spot must be terribly ticklish, huh?” She slowly raked her nails back and forth where her armpits began, looking down at the engineer with a smile. “Call it woman’s intuition.”

Wattson sputtered and giggled heavily, teetering on the edge of laughter. She gave her arms another sharp pull, but it didn’t do anything to free them. When she didn’t respond with understandable words, the thief gave her armpits a quick scribble, making her shriek and laugh. “YEHEHEHEHS! Ihihihihiht tihihihckles! Sohohohohoh leheheheht mehehehe gohohohoh! Plehehehehease…” She pleaded, staring up at the thief with nervous, giggly anticipation.

Loba playfully tutted at her and shook her head. “Aw, Natalie. When have you ever known me to walk away from a gold mine?” She simpered, sneaking her hands underneath her arms and scratching away at her hollows.

Wattson screeched and burst out laughing, bucking against the mattress. The thief focused on the very center of each armpit, where the muscles split. Loba almost toppled over from how much Wattson was squirming; so, for a moment, she believed that the younger woman would somehow be able to free herself. So, keeping her fingers buried in her right armpit, the thief shifted her weight so that she could reach above her bed.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA LOHOHOHOHOHBAHAHA NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHN!” Natalie cried out, squirming as far to the left as she could to try and get away from the intense sensation. “DOHOHOHOHOHN’T TIHIHIHIHCKLE THEHEHER--HEHEHEHEHY!”

While Wattson was laughing, Loba lifted up her left arm and slipped her wrist through a restraint above the bed frame. It was soft, black, and made out of nylon, but sturdy enough to keep her arm in place. The she-wolf stopped tickling to do the same thing to her right arm. Now, she had easy access to her armpits and torso. Loba settled back down onto her waist, making a dramatic show of wiggling her fingers in the air.

“There we go, much better.” The thief began, grinning as Natalie paled and tried to tug her wrists free from the newfound restraints. “Now there’s nothing in my way…” She whispered tauntingly, lowering her hands even closer to her exposed armpits. Wattson’s eyes were locked onto Loba’s wiggling nails and she squirmed, already giggling.

“Nohohohohoh wahahahait! WahahAHAHAHIT!” Natalie squeaked and jumped when Loba held her nails just inches from her armpits. The she-wolf cocked her head to the side and smirked at her.

“...Yes?” Loba chuckled, wiggling her fingers in the air again. She wasn’t even touching Wattson yet, but the engineer squealed and giggled harder the closer her fingers got.

“PLEHEHEHEAHASE STAHAHAHAHA!” Wattson yelled, her arms twitching from how much she was trying to pull them down. The phantom tickles caught up with her and she started laughing, making the thief laugh in turn.

“What? I’m not even touching you!” Loba giggled, barely pressing her fingertips to her armpits. The engineer screamed and bucked her hips; now, Loba was laughing almost as hard as she was. “Seriously? I don’t even have to do anything, do I? You’re too ticklish for your own good.” She smiled, letting her words hang in the air. Just when Wattson thought she was going to attack her armpits, the she-wolf switched gears and started stroking her sides.

Wattson shivered and wiggled, biting her lips to trap the giggles. Loba arched a brow at her and, grinning, she jabbed her fingers into her ribs. The engineer flinched and grinned widely, shaking with the laughter that she refused to let free.

“That’s not going to work, love…” Loba sang, rubbing her fingertips between the bones. Wattson gasped and let a few giggles slip out, but she was determined to hold out. Loba leaned in again and slowly started scratching her way up her ribcage. “I know you want to laugh. And, it would seem that I’m exceptionally good at making you laugh…” She continued teasing, causing the engineer to giggle even more. The thief continued tickling her ribs and even her stomach before finally descending on her armpits. Loba dug five wiggling nails into each armpit, causing Natalie to scream and cackle loudly.

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHON LOHOHOHOHBA! AHAHAHARRÊHEHEHETE ÇAAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHARRÊHEHEHETE ÇAAHAHAHAHA! (Stop it! Stop it!)” Wattson shrieked and threw her body around, laughing harder when Loba tickled faster. Loba chuckled and jabbed her fingers into her armpits instead, making the engineer let out another cry of laughter.

“Sorry, beautiful. But I never did pick up on the language of love. You’ll have to translate for me..” Loba jeered, scribbling away along the poor woman’s armpits. Wattson tossed her head back again and shook with laughter. Any words that she tried to say were lost as she desperately tried to escape the woman’s devious nails. Loba kept up the tickling for a good five minutes before slowing the scribbling down to slow, gentle strokes. “You know what? There’s something I meant to ask you..” She remembered, slowing the tickling down even more so that the engineer could breathe and speak.

“...Whahahahahahahat?” Natalie panted and snickered, grateful for the small break, but still twitching from the residue tickles. Loba, since she noticed how especially ticklish her right armpit seemed to be, traced a nail just around that particular armpit.

“You know, all of this talk about flirting and charming others has got me wondering...who is it you have your eyes on?” The thief inquired, taking that same nail and poking it into her armpit at random intervals. Wattson snorted and pulled at her right arm, her cheeks reddening.

“I-I dohohohn’t hahahahave mhyhy ehehehehyes ohohohn ahahahanyoohohohne…” Natalie giggled; when the engineer looked up at her, there was skepticism written all over her face. And that one, lone finger poking into her armpit noticeably picked up speed. “I’m sehehehehrious! Lohohohohbahahaha plehehehehase!” She tried again, rolling her body to the side and frantically giggling.

“Aw, sweetie. I’ve been doing this sort of thing a long time. I can always tell when someone has a crush…” Loba purred, starting to poke all five of her fingers into that same armpit. Wattson yelped and turned her face into her shoulder, loud laughter mixing in with her giggles. In fact, she was giggling so loud that the thief had to speak up so that she could be heard. “Would you like to know what else I’m good at?”

“NOHOHohohohohohohohoh!” Natalie rejected and resumed kicking at the mattress. She was dangerously close to laughing; so, the thief positioned her free hand by the woman’s left armpit while continuing to tickle the right one.

“I’m also good at picking out lies…” Loba muttered with an evil grin, spidering her all ten of her nails against both of her armpits. Wattson started bucking her hips again, hysterical laughter filling up every last corner of the room.

“I’M NAHAHAHAHT LYHYHYHYING! AHAHAHAHAH I’M NAHAHAHAHAT!” Natalie argued, her trapped arms twitching in place as she fell deeper into hysterics. It didn’t matter how much she pulled or bucked; her arms stayed above her head, and Loba was having a blast tickling her super sensitive armpits. The thief decided to drag her nails along her outer left armpit while she continued tickling every inch of the right one. “PLEHEHEHAHASE LOHOHOHOBAHAHAHA I’M NAHAHT LHYHYHYINHG HAHAHAHA!”

“Yes you are! Just tell me who it is. I’ll keep it a secret.” Loba promised and, smiling, she flicked her nail against her left armpit. Wattson squirmed to the right and squeaked, so the thief did the same thing to the right armpit. She laughed when the engineer jumped to the opposite side, so she kept on alternating the pokes, amused by the little ‘dance’ she was doing.

“IT’S NOHOHOH OHOHOHOHNE HAHAHAHAHA!” Natalie insisted and shut her eyes, her laughter completely taking over her. “I DOHOHOHOHN’T HAHAHAHAVE A CRUHUHSHAHAHAHAHA!”

A small part of Loba believed her, but another part of her wanted to keep tickling just a bit longer. She could tell the engineer was reaching her limit, though, so she wanted to give her one last good tickling before she stopped. So, with a small sigh, Loba grabbed onto her right arm with her left hand. Then, with her right hand, she pressed her fingertips into her uppermost rib. Wattson arched her back and kept on giggling but, when she tried to pull her arm down again, it didn’t move at all. The restraints were already keeping her limbs still anyway, but Loba’s grip made it virtually impossible for her arm to have the slightest movement. Natalie froze as the panic seeped in.

“Last chance, beautiful. Tell me who you have the hots for, and I’ll stop.” Loba demanded, vibrating her fingers against the bone. Wattson shook her head and laughed, pleadingly looking into the she-wolf’s dark eyes. “If you don’t...well, let’s just say I’m sure you’ll come around…” She continued warning, smirking as she slowly inched toward her armpit. “So? Who’s that special Legend?”

Wattson breathed heavily, her body going rigid in anticipation of the incoming tickles. She kept her eyes on her just in case she decided to have mercy...but Loba wasn’t so easily swayed. The engineer scrambled to provide her a satisfactory answer, but she took too long, and the thief wasn’t a fan of waiting. Loba kept a firm grip on Natalie’s arm as she wriggled her nails into the right armpit, scribbling along the area where the muscles split.

The engineer thrashed in Loba’s grip, convulsing with laughter. She repeatedly shook her head and tried to get even the smallest bit of leverage on her arm, but the thief wasn’t having any of it. So, Natalie didn’t have a choice but to take the tickles and laugh her head off...which is exactly what she did.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Wattson gave up on trying to speak and resumed laughing into her shoulder. “SAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“No can do, love. I gave you plenty of chances to come clean. And you didn’t take them.” Loba donned her best pitying voice as she fluttered her fingertips into her left armpit, now tickling both armpits. Wattson squeaked and scrunched her nose up from how hard she was laughing. “I told you what would happen…” She whispered, leaning over to resume blowing on the engineer’s stomach.

Wattson yelled one more time before her laughter became silent. She was too tired to struggle, so she laid limp as the she-wolf tickled her. Loba stopped the tickling altogether when she didn’t hear anymore laughter, reaching above the bed frame to undo her restraints. The engineer’s arms felt heavy as she finally brought them down, trembling and giggling.

“I’ll tehehehell yohohohu...I’ll tehehehell yohohohu..” Natalie gasped for air and sat up, pulling down her shirt and rubbing her arms together. Loba chuckled and shook her head, crawling off the bed to give her some space.

“No need, beautiful. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough. And I’m sure whoever it is will love hearing you laugh just as much as I did.” She winked, giggling when the woman’s cheeks reddened. Loba strode away from her just to turn off the music. Then, she returned to the engineer and sat beside her. The thief’s expression became more serious and she turned to face her. “Mind if I give you some advice on pursuing this mystery lover of yours?” She quipped and offered her a smile...but, something about the way she asked made Wattson look up. And, when she did, the smile also disappeared.

“Yes? What is it, Loba?” Natalie put her hands in her lap and eyed her curiously. Loba sighed and stared at the wall for a moment before looking at the engineer.

“I haven’t always been honest with you. With anyone, really. Because after I lost my parents...well, I didn’t think any of that mattered anymore.” Loba admitted quietly, frowning for the first time in the time she and Wattson spent together. “I learned that the world is a cold, unforgiving place. And as long as I got what I wanted, nothing else mattered. I had to claw my way out of the slums to get where I am now, so if I broke someone’s heart or stole some old guy’s jewelry, so what? At the end of the day, I took care of myself. Because I didn’t have anyone to do it for me.” She sighed, putting one hand over the other as she remembered her parents. Wattson blinked and opened her mouth to speak, but the thief held up her hand.

“I don’t want you to feel bad for me, Natalie. I’m fine. I’m just...what I’m saying is that once the demonio joined the Games, I realized that I didn’t have to do everything by myself anymore. I lied to you, to everyone, to get what I wanted. And..I almost got you killed. I just want to tell you that no matter who you fall for, always take care of yourself first. And do it by yourself. That way, no one else gets hurt if things go south…” Loba affirmed, looking directly into the engineer’s eyes. “And if they’re dishonest with you, make sure you walk away.”

Wattson’s gaze didn’t falter as she looked up at the thief. She took on a serious expression, too. “You did what you did to avenge your family. I don’t blame you for that..” She answered firmly, which surprised the thief. Loba expected anger, rage even….but she got quite the opposite. “If Revenant did that to my family, I’d…” The engineer trailed off, suddenly getting louder, her eyes momentarily engulfed with fury. But then, she calmed down and sighed. “I don’t even want to say it. But, I also think that people can change for the better, if they want to. I’ve seen it myself.” A smile sprung onto Natalie’s face as she put her hand over Loba’s. “So no matter what you choose to do, Loba, I forgive you. You’re a part of the Legend-ary family now, for better or worse!” Natalie giggled and beamed up at the woman. Loba chuckled and patted her hand; she wasn’t the emotional type, but the engineer’s words made her heart feel warm.

“Thanks, Natalie. Now, it’s getting late. And I have some...things, I have to take care of. Why don’t you go break some more hearts and tell me about it tomorrow?” Loba quipped, pulling her hand free to poke Wattson’s sides. Wattson lurched away from her and laughed, hopping off of the bed.

“Okahahy...I’ll see you around, Loba!” Natalie smiled and bid the thief farewell, hurrying out of her room and down the hallway. Loba noticed the slight strut to her walk as she left, which made her heart swell with pride.

Aw, they grow up so fast…

#wattson #wattson apex legends #natalie paquette #crypto #crypto apex legends #tae joon park #loba #loba apex legends #loba andrade #ticklish!wattson #ticklish!nataliepaquette #ticklish!natalie #ticklish!paquette

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krokonoko · 3 years

Text

Got tagged by the one and only @northernscruffycat 💕

I tag whoever feels like doing this~

How many works do you have on AO3?

29, apparently? the account is REALLY old and has a lot of ancient crap on it tho lmao

What’s your total AO3 word count?

128149! which is a lot, considering that I write almost exclusively oneshots.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10! I’m usually not a very active fic writer lol

video games: Elder Scrolls, Amnesia, Hitman, Dragon Age and Metal Gear Solid

live action movies and TV shows: Better Call Saul, Collateral and Edge of Tomorrow

cartoon and anime: Gravity Falls and Boku no Hero Academia

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bait (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 2.7k words. “just” a pwp, but it’s my baby, my beloved)

Ten Years Passed That Night (Bill+Rita, Edge of Tomorrow, 3.4k words. insanely popular by my standards, but also rly old and I don’t remember what happens in it. All I know is that it’s set post canon, Bill experiences an uncomfortable situation, instinctively tries to reset the day through suicide and almost kills himself in the process.)

a Collar by any other Name (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 2.7k words. shameless dressing kink. came into existence on a bit of a whim. I think I wrote it down in one go (just like Bait! it seems like those kinda

Something to Hold On To (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 4k words. more pwp with an excuse for a thematic red string holding the whole thing together asdfg)

Strange Attractors (Lalo/Nacho, Better Call Saul, 14k words. Lacho, but make it Groundhog Day. holy shit, when did this one get so many kudos?? it’s a very rare multichapter from me and paused atm cause I’m a fickle sob who can’t focus on one and the same thing for more than two weeks :/)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yeah man, of course! honestly every time I get a comment I can’t really believe it? I never had an opportunity to get used to feedback, so every person telling me they liked my writing brightens my day 🥺

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably A Cornered Dog. it might seem like Max has risen to power, but in reality, Vincent has (involuntarily) succeeded in turning him from a sweet, emotionally intelligent man into a cold, manipulative person, aka someone who can endure what Vincent puts him through.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, not even a week ago I got this huuuuuuge, longwinded comment on my Kacchako fic Plus One explaining to me in great detail why Bakugo being trans and Ochaco being bi completely ruined the story lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, but it's a fairly recent development! I mostly write m/m, but I have written m/f and I’m open to writing f/f smut too!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah, one of my Collateral fics got translated into Russian. I think it was We All Die Alone.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

stealing Pandirpus’ answer: I’ve written a very fun Amnesia AU fic with @pandirpus Tabula Rasa - and to this day, it’s the longest and most research-intensive fic I’ve ever written in English.

another fic I’ve co-written is the fantastically smutty Rising Tides which I worked on with the absolute master of E rated content: @seanfiction. Rising Tides itself, and stay with me here, is a story written by Marcius, a character from one of my books. but it’s not just any story, it’s porn he wrote of himself and a certain reptilian man he’s into, but in an alternate universe where they’re both pirates. it’s amazing and ridiculously self-indulgent and I love it.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

that’s really hard to say cause I ship a LOT. recently I think Lacho has a special place in my heart.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

oh, DEFINITELY Strange Attractors! but the inspiration will have to come with the next season of BCS.

What are your writing strengths?

rambling, lol? people tell me I’m good at building atmosphere.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

maybe it’s the linguist in me speaking, but imho, if you wanna use a foreign language, you gotta treat it with respect. too many people treat foreign languages as nothing but sexy glitter you dust over your writing for decoration.

if you can, ask a native speaker for help. I try to do the same as often as I can. never, under ANY circumstances, rely on nothing but google translate. there are so many practical translation tools online, folks.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Pokemon lol. when I was around 12yo or so I wrote like, half a dozen fics that were just self-inserts going on Pokemon journey and nothing else.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

that’s probably Trip Wire. I feel like that one kinda got lost in the amount of Lacho fics I produced, never received any special attention, but I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. it’s got exactly the kind of energy that I try to go for with p much all of my writing, but rarely give myself credit for achieving.

#writing meme #meme #cw: suicide mention #cw: transphobia #cw: biphobia

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years

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End of the year asks: 1, 4, 8, 5, 7, 9, 11, 17, 19 ❣️🎄🎅🏻

~Asked via ‘End of Year’ Ask Meme’: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/637933219260563456/end-of-the-year-asks~

1 ~ Song of the year?

I’ve pretty much gone emo over this song. It’s probably the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in my life, it’s so full of longing and sad beauty that despite how much I love it, I only play it in moments when I think I’m in the right mental state to appreciate it so it doesn’t become a background song haha. Yup, that’s the depth of my appreciation.

4 ~ Movie of the year?

I had already answered this one! :) press the ‘🍷❤️’ tag. But I’ll give another one for you that’s a bit different than the others: Midsommar. I was extremely impressed by the visuals I must say! It was true horror and scared me to bits (sidenote: I’m the type that doesn’t get spooked easily). I also found its exploration of cults quite fascinating. If you ever watch it make sure to then watch ‘How Midsommar Brainwashes You’ by ‘Accolytes of Horror’ on youtube to see what I mean! The analysis makes it even more terrifying.

5 ~ TV show of the year?

I don’t know if it counts since it’s a mini-series but definitely ‘The Shadows of the Tower’ which is this 70s show covering Henry VII’s early reign (you can find the first episodes on YouTube). It is quite possibly flawless (I obviously gritted my teeth a bit about the whole ‘Clarence had no brain’ remarks, but that’s really really minor). The acting is incredible and threater level, the dialogue a work of art not o ly in content but also in intonantion and the vibe about the whole show is so period and ominous 👀. Even if you’re not too big on Henry VII, you will fond great pleasure in the snapshot nature of the episodes eg one episode was about a lollard, the other about Sir John Kendall and the botched plot to assassinate Henry VII, another about a foreign navigator etc. If you like history you’ll love this!

7 ~ Favorite actor of the year?

yeah yeah call me basic, but if we’re talking about this year (as in contemporary actor) I must say Timothee Chalamet. The King has been criticised a lot but I feel like he really held his own there. Also loved him in Little Women, Beautiful Boy, Call Me By Your Name and Ladybird (among others). I’d love to see him become a permanent feature in movies!

8 ~ Game of the year?

Admittedly, I don’t really play any games. I occasionally go on lichess (and yes that’s way before The Queen’s Gambit came out) to play with friends, but otherwise, nothing really. I spend too much of my freetime on here already agshdj

9 ~ Best month for you this year?

You’d be surprised, but I must say: April. I don’t know why, I guess I just felt this vibe around me as I was surrounded by great historical fiction and randomly discovered sooo many new songs! Everyday was fairly peaceful as I didn’t have any assignments but just exams to study for, but as I knew the syllabus it was pretty relaxed. By that point I honestly needed a social break and lockdown gave me that without me having to invent any excuse. I also had my old flat with the lovely balcony I would go have my coffee on and it was just bliss ~

11 ~ Something you want to do again next year?

In my last answer for #11, I put continuing my WIP: A Bygone Era and staung on tumblr (which are stuff I only started this year - writing in Jan and Tumblr in February). To answer this again but with a different answer: I would like to continue with my hair care and corset experiments. I know this is very minor, but everything else from this year has already been done in other years. I’m currently still figuring out what homemade mask is best for me and it’s honestly been a trip haha (honey, olive oil + egg yolk is in the lead). With the corset training it’s satisfying to see the progress that is being made with my waist! I’ve neared down 3 inches already! (26’ -> 23’). And honestly whenever I have it on I just feel so dainty!

17 ~ Post a picture from the end of the year

This is a part of my garden back home atm. Between the red sky - green leaves contrast, and the heaps of snow... what could possibly be more Christmas vibes ey? (An especially appropriate post for today methinks)

19 ~ What’re you excited about for next year?

Most people would say an end to lockdown, but I don’t have high hopes tbf. I mean, have you seen the lack of discipline with most people nowadays? Ugh. One thing I can control (sort of) is getting into my masters next year. I’m terrified (because I might not get in) but excited (a nice change of scenery from London, and an opportunity to meet new people is always good). Not to mention, a more dissertation-based course is what I yearn for and need cause I despise exams. I’m really really excited at the prospect oml =)

#🍷❤️#thank you for asking darling #here long answers for a fairly long request #🤗🤗🤗#merry Christmas!#here you go have a Christmas colour scheme haha #(or IS IT the colour scheme of the Neville + Clarence livery?? 👀)#ooo ~

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someobscurereference · 5 years

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im very into the 3H hype now as well, but i have missed your FE14 talk more than i can say lmfao! any plot ideas/headcanons/other concepts that have been nagging you lately and that you want to share? (i know i just specified fe14, but 3H is also fine !) if not though thats okay, and i hope you have a nice day! :D

Aw, I missed it too, anon! That was the downside of closing my ask box. I was assured I wouldn’t see any spoilers before I wanted to, but I was sorry to put a hard pause on any cool questions anyone had to ask. I don’t normally have any HCs that I get on my own (since they’re usually tied into the plot of any given fic I’d wanna write and usually not a “this is how I Always with a capital A think about X”), but let’s see about upcoming plots! I’ve left you guys hanging for a little while now.

Mafia AU

Firstly, I’m probably going to be actively working on Mafia AU with @kimium again in the next few days. Holy cow, seriously, she has the patience of a saint with this AU. I could not ask for a more understanding person to be writing that with, because I have not been looking at the Mafia AU or really much writing at all in Forever. Granted, I was very busy with real life stuff and final projects/work as my study abroad was coming to a close, but I probably would have been understandably annoyed if I had to be partnered with myself for that too because I have been So Bad. Like, Very Bad about writing! So thank you, @kimium, for your kindness. You deserve a reward. Seriously.

(Did anyone notice that I wrote less fic when I was in Japan? I sure did! I felt bad about it, but while I loved being there and all my classes and friends, I really had no energy or time for anything that didn’t immediately pertain to university life in some way. My hobbies all got put on a big hold while I was over there. But I’m back now! And am working on making more time for myself for creative outlets!)

Spooky FE14 Fic

Also, I have another FE14 Spooky Horror Fic that’s on the way! With all the FE ships you know I love to write! Probably… somewhere between ½ to ¾ths done? Including blocking for future scenes, I’m at about 37K word count right now. That will go up as I take the blocking and turn it into actual dialogue and narration and stuff, lol. It’ll still be a while before I’m done though. I’ve had this thing sitting in my drafts for literal months and haven’t been able to work on it in a while. But I want to very badly!

I’m trying hard to make this spooky fic different from my previous fics. I don’t want to spoil too much, but I am actively trying to make sure I have a few different dynamics than who I paired up in Dark Things Grew (which you should check out if you like spooky stuff!) and also more getting together than established relationship. Also more, like, having real flaws in relationships and as people? But we’ll see how that works out, haha. It’s my first time writing a lot of things, so it’s a little new to me too. And spooky in the “oh no, what if people don’t it when characters are, like, realistically an asshole?” But I want to to be good! And I think you’ll like it! Or at least some will, haha.

FE3H

I sat down trying to write some FE14 stuff earlier, but I think the 3H bug really bit me because when I tried to write, something just wasn’t clicking right. And I just kept thinking about some of my 3H faves?? So I guess I’m halfway through a short-ish Caspar/Linhardt fic now, lol. (I also have a half-written Raphael/Ignatz in my drafts too, but I don’t know if I like it or not, so we’ll see if I ever come back to it. I’m thinking of that one as a warm-up.)

But it’s been literally a minimum of 2 years since I’ve written something that wasn’t for FE14, so getting to know new characters again is interesting. Normally I like to scan wikis and consume literally everything about a character before I write them so I write them as accurately as possible, but 3H is so new that a lot of that info is really scarce rn! So I’m nervous! But trying!

Also, because you asked about various things and I feel bad just naming upcoming, unfinished fics:

A Few Fic Ideas I Think About Often And Actually Have In A File On My Laptop Titled “FE Fics to Write” (much more on the real list)

Chef/Baker AU Owain! (I also talk to @kimium about this often. But also I know nothing about baking or cooking at all so like??? We’ll see if I ever get this one done, haha.)

AU where Owain (and maybe the others, but this is more Owain focus) is an Android but nobody knows it except him. (Slowburn Leo/Owain/Niles? And also maybe Nina and Forrest are there?? This one is also a little vague but it Haunts me)

I wanna write a fic like this one where Inigo made a deal and the price of Severa and Owain living was their memories except this time around it’s more of the aftermath and a little more magic is involved. Also, Owain/Inigo established relationship but Owain forgot. Also, Owain hates Inigo.

On that same line, I want to write a fic that takes place during the “Owain and Inigo Do Not Get Along” time period of their lives. I always write them as established friendship. But they legit were Not Friends in Awakening for a good part of their friendship. They would die for each other but also shove each other’s faces in the dirt if they could. I want to write that. Also maybe with hate romance.

Established Leo/Nlies Modern AU where Owain is their neighbor/someone they know who they sleep with on the regular. Owain thinks it’s all casual. Is it??? *Eye emoji*Insecure Owain? (maybe tied in with the above? maybe something else? mentioned in another fic I’m writing and I want to explore it more. He so easily has breakdowns in canon when Felicia and Severa call him weird.)

Can u tell I love Owain

Anyway, those are some of my top fic ideas and fic that I’m actively working on atm! I hope they seem appealing to you or anyone else reading this, lol. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things as I go! Definitely always feel free to hit me up with more FE questions anytime though! (Awakening, Fates, 3 Houses–it’s all on the table again!)

Thanks for asking!

#my text #asks #fe14 #fe16 #why is ask formatting all wack recently #i have to go back and reformat it all every time now #weird #every time i hit 'pot' it gets all jacked up #long post

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fandomhores · 5 years

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Healing Hands » Peter Parker

Peter Parker x Reader

Prompt: Reader has similar powers to that of the Scarlet Witch and Tony suggests that the reader go to school with Peter in order to “babysit” him, somehow it ends up equal babysitting on both parts. Peter has an adorable school girl crush on Reader.

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff. Almost teeth-rottingly sweet, also first crush cringe. Not a lot of dialogue in this one, more descriptive for plot feels.

Word Count: 1,599

By: Admin Nikki ☾

New York City was known for being the city that never sleeps, and that was most likely the reason why Peter was late. Fury would have preferred you to stay with him at S.H.I.E.L.D. so they could better monitor and study your powers, but then Tony Stark gave the idea of having you go to school with Spidey-Boy. They’d know where the both of you are, you could finish high school, and you could probably help each other out in the process.

You first met Peter at Tony’s office. Tony was letting you use Friday to research more about New York City since you would soon need to know your way around. Tony had told you he had someone he wanted you to meet, and brought in the Queens teen while you were watching a video of a street performer and unconsciously toying with your powers.

Tony told Peter that he was introducing him to a witch, he kinda pictured an aging woman with a broom and a big black pointy hat. Maybe he shouldn’t have used the Wizard of Oz as a reference, cause he was not prepared for you. You were standing in front of the holo-screen, swaying to a live cover of Stand by Me. Violet-colored energy spiraled from your fingertips and swirled around your person like smoke. Small objects from the room floated around you as well, and you sensed Tony and another enter the room. You greeted both of them with smile and sent Tony’s belongings back to their place. Peter gawked at you, all doe-eyed and starstruck, and Tony rolled his eyes at the sight.

When Tony explained that you would be attending school with Peter, the boy started having a mental panic attack. Tony made it even worse when he said that you’d be staying in the empty apartment on Peter’s floor of the building he lived; he already called ahead to Aunt May to let her know that his “niece” was going to be probably stopping by from time to time.

The kid was a stuttering mess when you introduced yourself to him and gave him your hand to shake. He introduced himself as “Parter Peker” and his hand was slightly clammy, but you found his awkwardness endearing. Aunt May adored you the moment she met you, acting like the Italian mom aunt she is by offering to make you dinner as a welcome to NYC. While you were in the kitchen cutting ingredients for her, she teased Peter in the living room about how pretty you were and how he should ask you out. He responded by trying to make a coherent sentence about how you just got to New York and you’d never be interested in a guy like him.

Now Ned was a different story. Ned was speechless when you came right up to him with Peter, talking like you had know them for years. In private he tried to interrogate Peter on how such a pretty girl was even breathing near geeks like them, but Peter avoided answering his questions as much as he could. He thought it was most definitely a big no-no to divulge your Avenger status.

Then there was the time Peter blocked a ball from hitting you, his spidey-senses taking over and he rushed in front of you, wrapping you in his arms and turning his back to the baseball. You felt Peter flinch at the impact and when you saw the aftermath, which was Ned making incoherent phrases while gawking at the two of you and the gym teacher rushing over, you fully registered what happened. You offered to take Peter to the Nurse’s office, and the teacher agreed while Peter tried to insist that he’s fine. You don’t remember Peter taking your hand, but you used it to your advantage, and Ned noticed the brief flicker of lilac come from your intertwined hands. That’s when Ned realized why you hung out with Peter, you were both super-humans.

You used a bit of your powers to “persuade” Peter into letting you take him to the nurse’s office. When you finally got him there, the nurse asked you to stay by her desk while she took him behind the curtain to give him some privacy to check his back. You shuffled your feet restlessly, you could hear them moving and the nurse talking to him quietly from behind the curtain. It was opened abruptly soon after, right in the middle of Peter putting his shirt back on. You caught a glimpse of his abdomen and your face flushed red, you turned away hurriedly to cough when he looked over at you.

Since it was the end of the school day soon, the nurse instructed him to put a cold compress on the area when he got home, and that the spot was already bruising. Peter tried to stretch his back and flinched, a pang of guilt hitting you straight in the chest. It was later that night when Peter was out on patrol that you finally had enough a sulking around and feeling guilty that you asked him to come over to your apartment.

The boy began running scenarios about why you wanted him over and what would happen through his head. Some scenarios had him turn red in the face and immediately shake them from his head, but nonetheless he panic-talked to himself the whole way back home. He landed on the rooftop of the apartment building and was surprised to see you already up there. You were looking out at the view of the city with a blank gaze, but sensed someone behind you a moment later. You turned around to see who it was and relaxed to find Peter in his Spiderman getup. He slipped off his mask, his contagious smile on his lips. When you gave him the same, his worries just washed away. He could swear you were the loveliest thing he had ever set his eyes on and nothing would change his mind.

You beckoned him over with a wave of your hand, and he made his way over to you, trying to keep his cool and not trip on air. He stood next to you, looking down at you expectantly. You blink up at him, your mind suddenly blank of all the words you rehearsed in your head. Word vomit just exploded from you and you blatantly ask him to take off his shirt. The both of you turn into sputtering tomato faces right on the spot, you hurriedly tried to correct yourself and explain that you wanted to examine the spot where he got her earlier at school.

It takes a moment for Peter to register our words, but he eventually turns around, deflating the torso of his suit and turning his back towards you. The person who ball was, unfortunately for Peter, the pitcher for the baseball team at school. The spot was already black and purple and big, meaning it was already starting to heal. You ghosted your fingers over it, Peter winced more from the sudden contact than the tenderness of the spot, you mumbled apologies to him.

Peter then felt his skin start to tingle, goosebumps raising on his skin. He turned his head to glance back at you and what he saw amazed him. Your hands lightly touched the bruise and your eyes were closed, eyebrows knitted together in concentration. You violet aura pulsed from your palms and the moment ended not a beat later. Your eyes fluttered open and a bright grin lit up your features.

“W-What did you do?” Peter asked bewildered.

“I, um, felt bad about you taking that hit for me,” You explained, toying with your fingers nervously. “So I healed you.” Peter stretched his back, feeling no pain unlike earlier. He clumsily tried to reach behind himself to feel for the spot, but you pulled out your phone to take a picture of it for him so he could see it. His jaw dropped, there was no sign of the bruise ever existing, it was like the nothing ever happened. “Y-You know, if you ever get while you’re out there fighting badies and what not, you could always just call me and I’ll aid you. You can think of me as your own person medic I guess.” Peter just stared at you with literal heart-eyes.

“Why are you just so incredible?” Peter meant to say that in his head but it just came out. You turned into a blushing mess along with Peter. You pivoted away from each other, not being able to look the other in the eye. Peter put his suit back on while you checked the time on your phone.

“Welp. I’m gonna go finish my homework,” You proclaimed, ending the awkward silence.

“Y-Ye-Yeah. I should probably go make sure that there’s no guys in Avenger’s masks robbing ATMs again.”

“See you in the morning Peter,” You said as you started to walk back towards the roof door. Peter was going to slip his mask back on when he saw you stop in the corner of his eye. You flew over so quickly that he would have thought he imagined you kissing him, would have if your lips didn’t linger as long on his as they did. He stared at you wide-eyed when you pulled away, and retained the same shocked look as you hurried inside, the lilac light trailing behind you.

Peter registered what happened a couple of minutes later, and no one could wipe his dorky grin off his face.

Thanks for reading! Requests are open for both Kat and I. It can be someone we haven’t written about on the page if you like, one of us is bound to be able to write about them. ♡

#peter parker #tom holland #peter #parker #peter parker x you #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #peter parker x y/n #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #i love my baby boy peter

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melimelo-ao3 · 4 years

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Answers to the ask

So this is my answer to every ask of the “A Writer’s Ask Game” by agwitow that I reblogged just below.

Yes, I know, people are supposed to be the ones to send a number, and only then am I supposed to answer. But, since this blog has like, very, very limited interaction, and I had nothing to do, I answered them myself.

And I’m putting a time stamp on it: Wednesday 17/02/2021, because for some questions, in a week, it won’t be the same answer.

The Basics 1. Do you listen to music when you write?

I do, yes. I have a couple of playlists with songs – I know some people enjoy listening to music while they write, but only without any kind of lyrics. I don’t care either way. Some days it’s pre-enregistered playlists, others random, and others just piano.

2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

I’m mostly a plotter. I’ve tried to go pantser on a couple of stories (Pretty Boy is the last example that comes to my mind), but I end up knowing what I’ll put in the next chapters in advance. Even if it’s just the main plot point / scene.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Computer. Except when I have writer block.

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’ve never been published, and don’t plan on. I write my stories mostly for myself, and to me it’s a bit too over the top to, first, interest a publisher / editor, and then it would need lots of editing and… I don’t think I’m ready yet to see critics on my stories.

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

I have no idea xD I suppose I’m happy if I get 1.000 word a day, especially if it’s a day I only concentrate on writing. Sometimes it can be more, but sometimes it can also be nothing at all. On days I have other things to do, I’m happy if I can write one sentence more during the day :)

6. Single or multiple POV?

At the same time? Single. In a story? It depends. Some stories I’ve written in a single POV all along, others I switched between chapters, and others within chapters, with a distinction between the “parts”.

7. Standalone or series?

Um, series as in several “books”? If so, there’s this story I finished last year. At first, it was supposed to be one single book, but things progressed as they did and so I chose to cut the overall, finished epic into three books. So it’s supposedly a series now.

Other than this, I usually cram everything up in one story.

8. Oldest WIP

Oldest oldest? I started a story called L’année scolaire (= School Year) when I was like 10. It’s unfinished, so I suppose I can consider it as a WIP. Other than that, if I’m talking about posted fic, it’s a Harry Potter time-travel fanfic called Une nouvelle chance de vivre (= A New Chance At Living). Same, the fic has maybe ten years now (damn, time flies) and has been untouched for… about ten years I believe xD

9. Current WIP

I have several! On my AO3 profile, there’s Sunkissed (an Achilles x Patroclus Omegaverse ff), The Bravest Belief of All (Amandi) (a Peter Pan x Wendy Darling canon divergence from OUAT) and I Desire You (or worse) (which is an original work with original character that I’ve just started posting) that I update regularly.

There are more on my computer, much more than I can type here…

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

Not at all. Because I wouldn’t respect them, and it would make me stress.

The Specifics 11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Victor Hugo is the main one that comes to my mind atm. I love the way he writes and what he writes about. There’s Emile Zola’s Au Bonheur des dames, too, which is amazing, one of the best books I know of. And, for the beauty of language and the sheer poetry literally pouring from every single word, Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand is. breathtaking. I don’t know if they influenced me, because it sounds a bit pretentious to say that one can find some of these authors in my stories if they look closely, but they definitely represent what I aspire to.

12. Describe your perfect writing space

In a silent room, except there’s music (I know, it’s paradoxical). I have my computer and my head is resting (I mean, I don’t have anything urgent to do, it’s all done and behind me for the day) and I can concentrate on the scene I’ve been imagining for a couple of days / weeks / months / years (pick one).

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Usually I have an idea, I play it in my head over and over again until I really like it and I have a couple of things found out (like, scenes or dialogues or narration – depends if the idea is about a story or just a single scene). Then, I write it. Admittedly, the polishing happens mostly when I play it over and over in my mind until it clicks or sticks.

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I usually listen to them, because it means there’s something that’s nagging me about a scene, a moment. So I go reread it, I think back on it – what can I change? How can I formulate it in a different way? – and I change it until I’m satisfied with it.

I experience a (lot) of self-doubt at the moment, with the first three chapters of IDY. I chose to post them, but I’m not entirely sure I’d be ready if people began to hate them or find horrible flaws with them. that makes me doubt whether it was a good idea or not, but I know that I can always delete them if it really goes downhill.

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

I stop writing. For a couple of days, usually, to let my brain the time to relax and focus on something else. Then, I sit back before my computer and I open another word document – like a blank page. I copy paste the scene I’m stuck on, and I rewrite it under, while using a couple of sentences I feel are good. I repeat the process until the words flow back again.

(This sounds a lot like a cooking recipe xD)

For the real, unbreachable writer’s block (like, if the above didn’t work), I try to focus on other stories. If that doesn’t help kick the inspiration back (like for No, but I do – even though the writer’s block was cemented by GOT’s last season but that’s another matter entirely), I push the story to the back of my mind and I give it up.

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

As many as necessary until I’m satisfied with myself. I can’t give a number.

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

I imagine the scene beforehand, I listen to music, I write on computer… I can’t think of any other writing habit I have atm.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I don’t think I could collaborate with anyone, sorry - -’ When I have an idea for a story, I’m excited with writing every single part of it, so I don’t think it’s for me.

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

With the scenes I want to write.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

At the moment (meaning the ones brewing in my mind): 11.

The Favourites 21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

It depends with the story. I liked Weston in Pretty Boy (I like him too in I Desire You), and Wendy in Amandi.

22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

Weston/Edmund. They’re my OTP for now.

23. Favourite author

I don’t have a favourite author, I search for fics / stories mostly.

24. Favourite genre to write and read

Romance.

25. Favourite part of writing

I love writing dialogues, especially when the characters continue to talk on their own and I’m just transcribing everything and the conversation ends up very different from what I imagined.

26. Favourite writing program

None, I just write on Word.

27. Favourite line/scene

That’s impossible to choose! xD

On a writing’s perspective only, I’ll say the end part of chapter 3 in I Desire You (or worse). When I reread it and I could feel what the character is feeling / does (I’m being vague on purpose because I haven’t posted it yet), I knew I had to post it somewhere. I don’t know, I’m just really proud of it (and have the most self-doubt over people’s reaction, which is – as always – very logical of me).

28. Favourite side character

In I Desire You, I like Lucy.

29. Favourite villain

I don’t think I’ve ever written many villains. Ah, yes, Peter Pan in my OUAT fic. He’s a villain, it works.

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I’ve been beginning a lot of WIP at the moment, precisely so I could start putting down all the ideas I wanted, so I don’t really know what to answer to that…

The Dark 31. Least favourite part of writing

Writing description of settings. I don’t really like how I write those.

32. Most difficult character to write

Edmund. No hesitation.

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

No, and I never intend to. I want my characters to be happy and alive.

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Chapter 3 of I Desire You? Or maybe the chapter 2.

Or the beginning of Amandi, which depicts the Peter / Fiona relation.

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

Um, none at the moment :)

The Fun 36. Last sentence you wrote

I understand how he feels.

But I’ll probably change it. I’m not sure yet. It’s for IDY.

37. First sentence of your current WIP

Well, I have three, so I’ll put the three.

A frustrated scream would have torn the eerie silence and thunderous sound of waves if Peter had any strength left in him to scream anymore. For Amandi

“Where’re y’all running to?” For IDY

Patroclus’ lip trembled when they pinned the crown to his hair. For Sunkissed.

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

Oof, lots. I’ve often imagined confronting two versions of characters. Like, take characters, usually from period pieces or in mindsets that are very patriarchal, and make them see another version of themselves, usually in Omegaverse, in a sort of Harry Potter pensieve or television setting, like they just watch this alternate universe version of themselves as they go on their daily lives. And then I imagine all the ways this character would first be horrified / angered / dismissive of that version of themselves that they’d judge weaker because they’d be Omegas, and then, slowly, they see that they’re really badass and yk worthy of consideration, respect etc. Not just them, but all their mates etc. would too, as well. And then they would come out as this better person, who aren’t as prejudiced as they used to be.

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

I don’t know, I think it kind of overlap with the precedent question? Anyway, my characters are (only) plain, normal humans. Or, well, there was one time I had an idea to write a story with elves à la Tolkien, but it’s not really a weird character concept (or at all really xD)

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

Well, all my characters’ important backstories end up being revealed, so I’m not gonna spoil anything here…

I’ll take Curly from Amandi. He grew up in an orphanage, a poor one, which didn’t have proper beds (hence why he calls them pockets, because they look like pockets). He has no memory of his parents because they separated before his birth and his mother died in birth. He comes from a magical land (since we’re talking about an OUAT AU).

The Rest of It 41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Write what you want to read.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

I’m mixed. I’m not a fan of them, but I wrote one once, although it was a bit special because it looked like that: Person A is in love with Person B, and vice versa, Person C loves Person A and Person C (and the entire world) is convinced Person A is in love with them.

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

I just go with it. They know better than me xD

44. How much research do you do?

A lot, but it’s mostly on little details. Like, not wars or political situation of the country at the time period, but more like were oil lamps still used for that class of population in said year, and can you snuff them out by turning the button (like in a slide sort of way, I’m not sure how to translate it precisely in English, but in my head it’s crystal clear).

45. How much world building do you do?

I do a lot. When I write a story, I like to know every little detail I can.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Yes. That’s the main reason why I write them, to be true.

47. Best way to procrastinate

By searching for aesthetic pics on Pinterest. That thing can take hours and you never see them fly. It’s incredible. Worse than Youtube. It takes you from picture to picture to picture without you noticing. Amazing.

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

I give a little bit of myself to every character I write about. Be it opinions, thoughts, childhood memory or taste. For example, Weston doesn’t like chocolate (he hates it with a passion) because I think chocolate has a disgusting taste (and because he never had the occasion of eating any as a kid).

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

Weston, because he’s friendly and extraverted, and I wish I could be more of both, and I imagine that being his friend would make me mimic him in certain ways.

#personal #me myself and I #writing ask

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ghostportals · 7 years

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Rejet’s Star Revolution: Starting the game

Uh yeah idk if there’s already a guide out but I haven’t seen one? so i figured i’d post a bit of one

keep in mind if you’re reading i can’t actually read japanese, a lot of this was done with google translate lol. but it can still be helpful to make things quicker till a proper guide comes out (if there. isn’t already one)

Menu stuff is at the very bottom of the post ! The stuff before the menu takes you through the tutorial and the basics that aren't covered in that.

edit before you click: warning that there’s currently irl blood on my desktop theme (won’t be soon tho)

Welcome to the Starevo tutorial! Lines with an * at the beginning aren’t in the tutorial, but are stuff I’m mentioning for the later gameplay.

1. Joining

Enter your Player name. Last name, then first name, Japanese style.

2. Intro

The school’s stuco VP will talk to you for a while. I’d like to tell what he says, but I’m not quite confident enough in my jp listening skills to do so lol. He does call you “president-chan”, though. You’re given a dialogue option:

It doesn’t matter what you say, but the top says “I’m not very confident” and the bottom basically says “I’ll try to do my best.” Both are not very confident sounding either way, which is understandable considering you’re suddenly being thrust into a position of power in a dang idol school, lol.

3. Lives - require LP

If you’re used to mobile rhythm games, the gameplay is pretty easy to get from just the images. There’s only one “button” and it doesn’t matter where you tap.

*Select a song, select a friend or guest as support, select a team, and click the pink button to begin (out of tutorial).

Small pink circle: Regular tap.

Blue circle with trail: Tap and hold.

Green circle with shine in the middle: Swipe.

Big pink gradient circle: Tap with two fingers (or double tap real fast, if you’re lazy.)

Star shaped: Tap A Lot Real Fast. You need to get a certain amount to get a perfect; continuing after the star fills gives you bonuses.

*After a live, you’ll see your results and get rewards. If your support was a guest, you’ll get a popup prompting you to send a friend request; you can send it (blue) or not (gray).

4. Lessons - require AP

You can increase affection(?) degree in lessons. Select the lesson type by selecting one of the colored circles. Keep an eye on the characters condition-- how effective the lessons are is directly proportional to how in shape the character is! (Just like real life wow)

Tap twice on a lesson type (circle) to begin. You’ll need to tap through several lesson types to complete a whole session, and can give items to the characters to increase how much they gain in a certain attribute by tapping on the orange button with a coffee cup.

Sometimes characters will be too tired, or moody, to participate in a certain lesson. Keep an eye on their mood, especially if you’re thinking about using an item. Sometimes they’ll sleep, which means they don’t participate in that bit of the lessons. However, letting them get rest can up their FEVER gauge and their tone. When the FEVER gauge is filled, the effectiveness of the lessons increases greatly.

*You can give presents during the lesson to make something good happen. Try to give what the character likes! When a character participates in a lesson, their affection goes up! Let’s become good friends with everyone!

*Lessons are done by unit. Outside of the tutorial, when you click the lesson button, you’ll choose a unit to train.

5. Story

The tutorial will next take you to the story page. After the introduction (which you already read), the stories will no longer be fully voiced. *You need to spend star/story keys to read most chapters. The mechanics work like any mobile vn; if you don’t want to sit through it, you can expand the menu in the upper right and click the skip button to fast fwd through.

*If you’ve played Enstars, the stories are similar to that. They’re organized by unit.

6. Units

Time to choose your boys! The screen shows you pura.net at first; switch between them by swiping, not by tapping the arrows. When a unit catches your fancy (or you find the one you’re already dedicated to), tap the pink button. It will then ask if you’re sure you want to start with this unit; click OK.

7. Gacha

Time to scout. You’ll automatically be taken to the gacha page in the tutorial, where you’ll be given a card of one of the members of your chosen unit. This ends the tutorial.

*Not in tutorial: the actual gacha function. If you’ve played other mobage, you know this. If not, it’s simple: The regular gacha (at the time of writing, only one, but there will probably be more) requires the little rainbow star stones. Spent 15 stars, get one card. Spend 150, get 10 cards. Getting 10 cards ups your chances of a better card! The point gacha (lower card rarities) requires 5000 points(?) for a 10 pull, and 500 for 1.

The tutorial ends after you get your card. The game will give you a couple messages and then prompt you to let it restart so it can complete more downloads (shouldn't take long). Upon starting the game again, you’ll receive login bonuses and be thrown into the fray.

8. Other stuff tutorial mentions

Cards can be strengthened using items. These are what you obtain from playing lives and completing lessons. You require a story key (blue star key) to read story chapters.

9. Cards

The top button on the card menu is your team organization. There are 5 team slots. Clicking the rightmost button on the bar that shows the cards will show the active skills in the team.

You have two types of teams: live teams, and lesson teams. When you open it, you’re on live teams. Click the other button above the card images to switch. There’s a bunch more buttons on here, but at the time of writing this idk what they are, I’ll. fix this later.

Second button is to level up your cards. Select a card (I have to tap them twice? sometimes more lol) to level. I’d like to add more but I can’t do anything there yet so I’ll fix this later;

Third button is awakening. I assume this is like idolizing/changing/blooming/ect. It looks to require items rather than a second copy? Will update later as well.

The bottom button lets you view a card’s stats. Level, specific stats, and skills. Click the middle button under the card to see the character’s profile. The third button will bring you to the unit pages, where you can look at any character’s profile by tapping them.

10. Menu stuff!

The main menu can be accessed from most pages by clicking the arrow in the bottom left. It’s shown across the bottom, and is showing by default on the home page. You can full screen your character/cg with the button in the left.

Left to right: Home, live, lesson, story, characters, gacha, friends, more menu menu.

10a. Friends

The rightmost button on the menu lets you view friends. It begins as a desolate and barren wasteland of loneliness. Right side buttons, top to bottom: Friends list, friend requests, pending approval from the other person, and search (find some friends!) The search page looks a bit glitchy atm but nothing gamebreaking. Click the button next to their name to view their profile, or the rightmost on their little bar to send them a request.

10b. More Menu Menu

Left to right:

Profile, settings, storage/inventory (items) Shop, friends, Transfer data, help, contact us Opening movie, terms of service, back to title.

10c. Settings

System options -> Live options -> Story options

System options top to bottom: music volume, sound effects volume, voice volume, lightweight mode (makes it run better).

Live options top to bottom: music volume, SE volume, voice volume, lightweight mode, timing calibration, movie (animations), cut-ins (the character popups when skills activate).

Story options is just text speed.

10d. Welcome menu

...This should probably be first but whatever.

Tap the bottom left button to access. Left to right (to bottom): OP movie, takeover/transfer/”inheritance”, clear cache, contact us.

In all honesty I don’t understand the transfer stuff myself... It looks like you can put an account on for sure, but I don’t know how to assign an email and password to your current account.

And that’s all I’ve got! When I figure out how to assign transfer codes I’ll add that in.

#star revolution #starevo #guide #01

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lesbianalicent · 7 years

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mass effect: andromeda review

abandon hope of not seeing spoilers, all ye who click the cut

overall: 3/5 main story: 3.5/5 dialogue: 5/5 fuck all of you it was hilarious combat: 5/5 worldbuilding: 2/5 squad: 4/5 overall gameplay: 2/5 side quests: 1/5

this is gonna be long, y’all, i have A Lot To Say

so, first thing’s first: ryder is a treasure and probably the best protagonist that bioware has come up with since hawke or shepard. inquisitor whom??? they’re absolutely hilarious and whenever they open their mouth i know something delightfully terrible is going to come out of it. i find it interesting that the older folks who play this game (late twenties and over) HATE the dialogue but the younger folks who are around ryder’s actual age don’t? it’s an interesting split that i could write essays on just bc of how ryder talks bc it’s so similar to how i talk.

god she’s such a little asshole i love her i would die for her.

THE PROS: -fantastic combat that is probably the best that bioware has ever done, not having a set class is wonderful and being able to switch to do whatever you want is [prayer hands emoji] i can finally be the biotic infiltrator combo of my dreams -I LOVE BEING ABLE TO PROJECT MY DADDY ISSUES ONTO RYDER THANK YOU FOR THAT BIOWARE -kissable!! turian!! gotta Kiss That Turian!! -the tempest crew feels like a tight knit family, they feel Real, hearing them banter on the ship itself is lovely and seeing how their relationship grows over the course of the game is delightful. the movie night single handedly saved me. the emails and the message board killed me dead. -nakmor kesh is my girlfriend -liara t’soni cameos -SAM, i love that ai i hope he knows that. he’s a very different character than edi and i really like that? i like the relationship he has with ryder it’s a lot different than shepard’s relationship with legion and with edi -the little easter eggs scattered around, like hunting dr. okeer’s research and finding zaeed’s son -the main story missions really felt like mass effect, and there’s some great choices you have to make that i hope will have actual effects later in the series -STUNNING scenery, holy shit -nomad banter -peebee/vetra, specifically. thank you sheryl chee for my life. -THE RYDER FAMILY WHAT THE HECK I LOVE THESE ASSHOLES -loyalty missions were a lot of fun, liam’s specifically is SO funny i love that boy -i would die for the tempest’s crew THE CONS: -too big. way, way, WAY too big. like take the hinterlands and make it into several PLANETS big. it’s exhausting and it was neat at first but by the end i just wanted it to be done, i had to resort to doing a speed run just so i wouldn’t burn myself out on the first try. if i wanted to play an open world game i’d play world of warcraft or skyrim, honestly. the open world aspect of it is dEFINITELY one of the game’s biggest weak spots, and i’m def gonna save my completionist run for when some mods and patches come out so i don’t burn myself out real quickly. i still haven’t recovered from my dai completionist run and that was a year ago. -the loyalty missions are fun and interesting, but except for cora’s they really didn’t seem to have much of a point other than unlocking romances. in me2 the point of the loyalty missions was that the crew would draw a line with shepard somewhere, things you said and did could lose their loyalty and if you lost their loyalty the characters could and often did die in the suicide mission. these seemed more like personal quests, they didn’t even unlock new outfits :/ -okay. listen. i understand that garrus is a fan favorite. and i love him too. but holy shit liara had a VOICE cameo and he still got the most references. that goddamn archangel paintjob? “reach and flexibility”? having his picture in the codex? his goddamn father being in a flashback? liam mentioning a scarred turian vigilante? meanwhile kaidan and ashley get nothing, lmao, Okay. like shit even shepard only got referenced ONCE like come on y’all. not even gonna mention the battle of the citadel? that was a big goddamn plot point, especially since ryder was RAISED ON THE CITADEL? you’d think that the sovereign attack would be traumatizing. -dragon age characters got references but ash and kaidan don’t.........lol.........i see you bioware.............. -what was even the point of editing shepard’s gender -if you’re gonna have references you should at least have a little reference for every major character like the game is so fucking big you could have done it without being in your face. ellen’s role with biotics? reference baat. general williams and shanxi. wrex when talking to drack’s clan urdnot friend. -i really wish they’d have at least had some major choices from me1 imported in, like “did the council survive, who was the virmire survivor, was everyone recruited, did wrex survive” etc. -speaking off, there’s plot holes for days. i can’t get a confirmation on when in 2185 they left, but if they left before shepard woke up and they didn’t ever recruit garrus in me1 then WHY would garrus’s dad talk to alec about it. the fuck my dudes. -yeah. plot holes for days. i’m tired and a bitter OT fucker. -gil’s.......entire.............storyline............lol GOD bioware...... -having the two crime lords being the latino man and the black woman. i see you bioware. -sloane’s entire storyline god bioware........... -the remnant are literally just synthetic protheans and the kett are organic reapers -i’m tired of this trend in bioware games where they use the “SILLY MORTALS YOU CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND OUR ACTIONS, THEY ARE BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING” like with the reapers it was cool, corypheus was a disaster and quite frankly so was the kett but whatever. -activating the monoliths and having to do sudoku. why. -not prioritizing quests properly. you could miss one of the biggest twists in the game bc you don’t finish that fetch quest to get all the memory triggers, and that twist was the main one that i actually wanted to see (shepard and the reapers and liara’s SOS) -PEEBEE’S SEX SCENE GOD. TOO MUCH. BIOWARE. -JAAL WITH HIS VAGINA HEAD GOING DOWN ON SARA RYDER. FUCK.

that’s all i can think of atm but my main issue with the game is that bioware doesn’t seem to know how to prioritize quests, it’s SO BIG, and they treat their mlm like garbage. also racist tropes ahoy.

i’m really excited to see where they take the franchise tho! definitely got some solid future plot points with whatever the fuck the remnant were, whatever the kett are after (ugh...), discovering what happened in the milky way, who killed jien garson, who is the benefactor (my money is illusive man and tann’s power hungry froggy ass had her killed and it was unrelated just coincidental), ellen ryder’s recovery, the quarian ark, etc.

i hope they keep the same squad for the next game! continue the romances as well as add in new ones, maybe add a couple of new squaddies. i like having the same characters overlap in different games, it makes you actually care about them. add in scott/sara as a squaddie! LESBIAN/GAY SQUADDIES. keep ryder as the protag or so help me god..........

it really, really makes me miss the original trilogy tho. and playing it knowing there’s a bunch of ppl who wont ever touch it but will play andromeda hurts me deeply.

#shut up katie #mass effect andromeda spoilers //#me:a spoilers #so many spoilers #bioware critical //#i guess?? idk #mass effect

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phogenson · 8 years

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A Hard Year: Emergency Room

I left the ATM with a bit of cash which I figured I could afford to spend at my favorite coffee shop for dinner. This was a bit of a treat in February 2016--I wasn't eating enough, a problem I will examine in another post. I walked two miles to the Hard Times Cafe as the temperature fell.

Writing in my Moleskine has been a good way to organize my thoughts since I started directing. So while I was waiting for my food I just wrote what I had on my mind. I don't write free associations, but this entry has that feel about it.

The page wanders from instances of anxiety producing triggers in my life; some interpersonal difficulties I was facing in my living situation; a small meditation on film. One of the things that can happen in the real throes of anxiety seems to be valuable insight into a topic. There is a high degree of mental activity which can seem like an excess of clarity--like an over exposed photograph.

For a moment on this page I considered how music might inherently detract from film. The reasoning here is still very clear to me, something to return to. Basically the thinking goes that cinema is an art all its own, the addition of music or even dialogue, while perhaps powerful, also dilutes the medium. It hybridizes it, something perhaps problematic. This is something that's connected to many other thoughts I have on film as a medium and I think belies my interest in minimalism e.g. sound and music should only be deployed as little as needed in film.

I would like to come back to the idea, no doubt. In some way I'm sure I will. But my handwritten paragraph, rather than drawing a conclusion ended with the words "so fuck him." It's not even tangential like this reflection is. It's jumbled. The paragraph, the entire page, points to all sorts of things that were on my mind. It draws no conclusions.

One aside catches my attention though.

Only recently have I looked at the idea that "no one sees" and it's a deep yearning I feel. It was not something I merely wanted at the time, it underscores existence. The next morning I would live out the preceding description in this paragraph. I'd be alone.

February 13, 2016 I woke up at a friend's house, I slept on the couch because home wasn't where I wanted to be. That morning I had a meeting scheduled and I didn't make it. The temperature in Minneapolis that morning was -8 Fahrenheit and this was a problem. Unprotected and over used, my phone battery died again and again in the cold as I tried to reserve a Car2Go. I was running late, it was a Saturday, nothing was open and nothing worked. The batteries in a Smart Car struggle to start the engine in Minneapolis on a day like this.

Being in that kind of situation, constant failures and mental rerouting has a distinct feel to it. Wikipedia describes a diagnosis of a panic attack which includes the word "un-reality" and that is a true description. The thought in my head was "how is this possible?" It didn't seem like what was happening was remotely possible. Everything that I took for granted failed. My phone, the car, the stoplights didn't work, the streets seemed unnavigable. It's not bad luck and it's not first world problems at some point. And more than being self critical, there seemed to be no explanation of the situation I was in despite very real experience of it.

Eventually I was driving on I-94 toward St. Paul doing 80 and as the words in my head to describe whatever I was feeling at the moment failed me too. So I screamed and mugged. Trying to dead recon my way to where I was going, I pulled off the highway, got lost, and stopped near a BP.

I went in and asked to charge my phone. The answer was "no," and the guy at the gas station had probably seen a million crazier things than me at that moment. That's a problem too, I was holding myself to a standard of normality that required tremendous concentration. Shaking, I broke what might have been my last dollar into quarters and used a payphone outside in Minnesota's version of February to call my Dad, an analyst and LCSW. He cut through the noise and oncoming tears and told me to get to a hospital.

On this call a guy, Dave, asked me if I was okay. This was an unbelievably fortunate meeting. Looking back it is absolutely the kind of strange collision that killed the dinosaurs or welcomed the grief stricken mourners at the empty tomb of Christ. Dave asked me directly if I needed a ride someplace. I told my Dad I was going to get to a hospital and I hung up.

I pulled myself together as much as I could--any resolve must have been transparent--and said "uh, can you take me to a hospital." Dave took me to Regions Hospital and maybe I owe him my life.

Regions took good care of me. I've heard that the best way to get seen at the ER is to say you're bleeding and you move to the front of triage right away, but maybe saying you think you're having a panic attack works well too. They took my vitals, verifying the hypertension from the night before and pretty quick observation must've made diagnosis pretty easy. The doctors tell you who they are, there's two of them, then they ask you these questions:

"What brings you in today?"

And I said "I think I had a panic attack."

"Do you have any thoughts of harming yourself or others?"

And because if you're in that seat, being asked these questions, you do want to die you say "yes."

Then they ask if you've ingested any alcohol or drugs recently, and when your repression about the last days makes you clam up they tell you "we just need to know what we're dealing with." And you tell them the God's honest truth for what feels like the first time in your life even if ten seconds earlier was the first time you'd verbalized suicidal thoughts, and twenty minutes earlier you couldn't speak. The doctor said "I tried weed and didn't like it at all."

This was all good. It happened fast. And then things get a little less great and a lot more harsh reality. The hospital has some ward for emergency psychiatric issues, but it's not great. They take all your stuff and put it in a locked room while you change into scrubs. Then you get a room and a little later the worst cafeteria food ever, and they get your order wrong. But I hadn't eaten really at all. So I ate the chicken and peas.

This ward was actually in disrepair. They were building a new one, so maintenance wasn't a priority. But I had my own room with no windows and very beige walls and some stock photo of a palm tree bolted to the wall. There absolutely is a camera in there. And they check on you.

I know I was not the worst case in the hospital. At one point I heard a nurse remind the guy in the room next to me that he'd pulled a knife on a guy outside a bar last night. He denied it. But I think I was very high on their priority list because they had identified me as a suicide risk. Although by this point I felt like I'd seen too much to even try it.

So a doctor met with me pretty quick.

"We can give you a 'chill pill' that'll knock you out for a while," he offered. We talked about a bunch of things, but I didn't want medication like that. It seemed like it'd just be another blow. Then they tell you what they want to do. They wanted to move me "upstairs" as soon as they could, but this meant waiting in the room overnight. They didn't have the space or the doctors to make that happen.

The doctor also outlined other options for observation. In that situation the options really sound like the end of your ability to have any control in your life. I really didn't want to give up what little control I had over my life at that point. It's seemed like a misconception that being in even a pretty laissez-faire institution would be desirable. I could have my thoughts, but maybe not have control over my food. In other situations maybe that seems like a huge boon, like you wouldn't have to worry about living, but some pretty basic functions were the limits of my control and I didn't want to give them up. I thought about it though.

At some point I made a few phone calls. I called my work, told them I was in the emergency room and that they'd have to find some way of making coffee without me. I don't know if they could've guessed what'd happened. I feel like they had some idea. I called my parents and told them I made it to the hospital.

Then I waited for hours to be seen by a social worker. Apparently she described my looks as "he looks like he wants to crawl out of his skin." Basically I just lay in the bed. My cousin came by, she would help me immensely over the coming weeks.

In the end though they can't keep you in the ER when you ask to leave. But they will write a prescription for lorazepam to keep you from coming back in. I'll talk more about lorazapam in another soon, but it stops a panic attack like a freight train. This is the only time they'll just hand you this pill and basically tell you to stay doped up on it for as long as the prescription runs.

The hospital pays for a taxi. And this taxi driver was exactly the kind of over masculine, I work out, hot girlfriend, meathead I could barely deal with. I sat there next to the patriarchy for a little while.

I got home and made a few more calls. At this point there was also an early warning sign of things to come between me and one of my roommates. We got pizza and, couched in concern for me, he said "you've gotta go home, dude." And that's really hard to hear when your life is in this city and except for the last 12 hours you feel self sufficient. When I could think about it more rationally, my entire system of support was in Minneapolis--family, a therapist, hospitals, my job--and I wasn't about to abandon it to be home. And I hated Minneapolis. So it was a dubious claim. In hindsight this conversation began to make me unsure of myself in how I handled day to day situations and planted seeds of personal attacks that eventually did push me out of the house.

Ultimately I did the best I could. Eventually I did what I had to. Somewhere in there were some fuck-ups too.

On February 14, 2016 I was pretty doped up--lorazepam. But looking at the scribbles from two nights earlier, the beginnings of the effect the lorazepam has are clear. My writing was straight, pragmatic, to the point, and fiercely linear albeit a little more open than I like.

I've excerpted the entire page.

#Anxiety #Hospital #reflection #2016

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