#he said that teary eyed in the middle of the night as he proposed to his now HUSBAND

[carlos-tk]

it’s LOVE ❤️

the kind you can’t get away from 😖

😭😭😭

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream proposing. 

AN: This is long because I got carried away. 

Mark Lee ; Composed a song for you.

I MEAN, what else will Mark do aside from composing a love song to his future wife??? He'll make sure that his song's message is clear that he's proposing to you and he wanted to have a future with you. He has the NCT members listen to the song, Mark gotta make sure that his message is there and although it is endearing, the members ARE TIRED, "Mark, it's great and cheesy, she will love it." they repeated numerous times. That's not enough, he'll drag them in his small scheme. He'll prepare a solo stage, rent a theater place where you thought you will be watching your favorite rom-com movie. But then Mark leaves suddenly when the movie is about to end. And then after the movie end, the lights turn off, and then the spotlight is on Mark, who's on the stage, holding a mic. He'll began singing it and you're just in daze there. Then the Dreamies will appear, giving you roses one by one, and Haechan guides you towards Mark. As soon as he finishes the song, he grabs the velvet box in his pocket and then proposes to you. Of course you said yes, almost teary-eyed, and the Dreamies will celebrate with you two!

Huang Renjun ; Over a vacation.

Renjun will prepare a three days and two nights out of the country trip with you. It's a once in a lifetime experience, and he made sure he'll choose the place that you've been wanting to go, he'll rent a hotel room from a luxurious resort and made the itinerary alone. He made sure that you don't have any worries aside from packing your stuff. When the vacation arrived, you two made the most out of it, like two lovebirds on their honeymoon. Renjun envisioned it and he feels giddy about proposing to you. Then on the last night of your stay, he'll bring you to an expensive restaurant, book a private room for the two of you. It was special, and you look gorgeous in your dress. At the end of the dinner, Renjun grabs your hands and he felt nervous, even stuttering through his words, and when he popped the question, you couldn't help but cry. Holding his hands endearingly and saying yes to him. When the two of you returned to Korea, both of you are wearing engagement rings. 

Lee Jeno ; Privately, just the two of you. 

Compared to the other members, I feel like Jeno's proposal to you is very simple. It'll be just the two of you, at your shared apartment. You just finished washing the dishes, and you two decided to stay at the kitchen, talking about the future. There's a few bottle of beers opened as you two talked about what you two envisioned about the future. It'll be in the most random moment, Jeno noticed you more than the usual, have you always been this beautiful? He would randomly brush his hands to your face, surprising you. In the moment of silence, Jeno asked if you want to get married, and you became quiet for a moment. "Right now?" you asked. "I mean, not right now, but maybe in a few months?" then Jeno proceeds to explain how you two have been live-in partners for years, so it felt natural to proceed to marriage. "Of course I would love to," you answered with glee. Wrapping your arms around him and giving him a kiss, in which he reciprocates.

Lee Donghyuck ; In front of your family.

Haechan's a family man, let's be real. He'll be the type who'll propose to you in front of your family. It'll be a small private dinner party. You were wondering why he decided to host a dinner party and Haechan lies to you, telling you that he just feels like hosting a dinner. So when the party arrives, his family and your family are there, since you and Haechan have been together for a long time, everyone's acquainted with each other. In the middle of the party, Haechan suddenly grabs everyone's attention, you thought that it'll be simple speech since he's the host but then he calls you and cluelessly you approached him, Haechan proceeds to thank you for being there for him, and all the cheesy words that he could say without stuttering. BUT THEN, he goes onto his knees, that's when you started to get nervous. Haechan grabs a velvet box from his slacks and then asked you, "Will you marry me?" and you were embarrassed for a moment because your family is there, but of course, you said yes to him. Everyone celebrated your engagement that night. 

Na Jaemin ; Extravagant dinner date.

Jaemin will be the type to drop hints that something will happen. He brought you a gorgeous dress, gave you money to pamper yourself, and even told you to clear your Sunday night for a dinner. At first, you thought that it's just a normal dinner at an expensive dinner since Jaemin has brought you to those kind of dinners numerous times, but you couldn't help but still feel nervous about it. When Jaemin picked you up, he gave you a huge bouquet of roses which made you smile. You kept asking him what's the occasion but your boyfriend only gave you a smile. As you two reached the place, you found out that he rented a rooftop restaurant for just the two of you. From the top, you can see the whole view of Seoul. It was wonderful and the food was even more delicious. At the end of the dinner, Jaemin brings you to the edge of the balcony, there he confesses to you once again, telling you how much he loves you and he wanted to be with you forever. He grabs the velvet box from his suit and as he opens the box, fireworks went on display. Overwhelmed with the feeling, you cried as you said yes to Jaemin. He puts the ring on you, and you two shared a heartfelt kiss. "Oh by the way, the fireworks was just a coincidence," Jaemin said, making you laugh.

Zhong Chenle ; Where you two first met

Chenle would be a sentimental type of person. He wanted to make sure that you'll remember his proposal, so he brings you to the first place you two met. It's by a coffee shop. You were a customer and he was next to you, he rescued you when you realized that you forgot your wallet. You told him that you'll repay him, but Chenle was love-struck by you, and told you to repay him with a date instead. So when he asked you to meet him at the same coffee shop, you only smiled, remembering the first time you two met. As soon as you entered the place, you noticed the extravagant designs. It was empty. There were flowers and balloons around on display, and even the place was scattered with rose petals. From the back door, Chenle exits and approaches you. You were dumbfounded as your boyfriend started his speech, saying how this is the place where he met the love of his life, he thinks that the two of you fated for each other. He then goes onto his one knee, grabs the box from his pocket and asked you to marry him. You couldn't help but to hug him, making him lose balance. You showered him with kisses on his face before you said yes. 

Park Jisung ; On the stage. 

Jisung is a sneaky bastard with this one. Since you're a dancer, he wanted to do a collab stage with him. It was for his solo stage in Dreamies' concert. You two perfected the choreography which Jisung created. You thought that the routine is finished. Your moves were synchronized and your audience (Dreamies) can see the chemistry between the two of you. When the concert arrived, you were nervous but at the same time, was confident with your skills. One by one, Dreamies performed their solo stage, and when it was Jisung's turn, he assured you that everything's going to be fine. You two performed and the audience were in awe with your performance, they knew that you two are in a relationship but only did they realized that you two are meant for each other because of the performance. When the music stops, you two did your final pose where you two are standing in front of each other. He then smiles at you and then steps back, grabs something from his pocket and the only thing you can hear is the audience's scream. "Marry me?" Jisung whispered to you as he raised the ring so that you can see it, you hold back your tears but didn't hesitate to say yes to him. Everyone knew that you said yes when they saw Jisung's gummy smile as he puts the ring on your finger, and proceeds to hug you. 

[sugar-omi]

Ello! Could you do Mornings with Cove, Derek, and Baxter? Fem! MC, plz!

the boys are so sappy n in love w you/mc it's SICK also does anyone else have trouble keeping their bonnet/scarf on bc i don't even bother anymore, n i alrdy tried the hair pins. it worked once n then never again i sleep like a wild animal istg ANYWAY!! enjoy anon! i'm so sorry it took so long<333

tags : Fluff, fem/afab reader (use of girl, ma'am, wife), multiple choice dialogue, every scenario has different tags bc it's easier for me that way👍, newly established relationship (derek/baxter), marrying cove

[scenarios in order of cove>baxter>derek]

synopsis : how you spend your mornings with the boys

tags : step 3 / in between step 3-4, you proposed to cove at the end of summer, eloping, moving in together

you're slow to wake up, rolling over and taking all the sheets with you.

you huff and try to untangle the sheets from under body and around your leg... once you're comfortable enough you pull your dangling pillow back onto the bed.

you reach over for cove, wanting to be close to your new husband.

"cove?" you finally open your eyes and search around the room. it's empty. well, save for the boxes and the new mattress on the middle of the floor where you slept together last night.

before you can call out again you hear some clinking and the sound of a sink running.

begrudgingly, you leave your nest of blankets in search of cove. it was worthless to stay in bed if he wasn't there.

first though you should wash up a bit, moving all those boxes had you so tired and you slept good.

you creep up behind cove, you already know he's heard you, but between the sizzling of the pan and the messy playlist terry oh so graciously made for you two.

determining there's not danger of one of you getting hurt by the hot pan in the case cove flinches, you wrap your arms around cove.

"oh-!" cove tenses up, putting a hand on your arm.

he laughs when you mumble "good morning" into his back, still sleepy and you almost fall asleep with your head leaned against him. cove is so comforting...

"don't fall asleep back there, i'm almost done cooking." cove's voice rumbles through you, disrupting your nodding head.

"mhm..." you slink over to the couch. it's crooked and in the middle of the room, all but thrown haphazardly in the room by the movers.

you blink, watching the trees sway and cars zoom by.

you're not in the heart of the city, but you're certainly not out in the middle of nearly nowhere like sunset bird.

"here ya go." the plate comes into view, startling you from your daydream.

you mumble your thanks, suddenly realizing how hungry you are. the meal is simple enough and made from whatever snacks and foods you took from your parents' house that are signaturely yours, but there's toast on the side and that's all that matters.

you eat in silence, propping up your computer on some boxes and watching a video, and after you're done eating, you continue down the funny animal rabbit hole.

"this is nice." you say suddenly, whispered almost.

"hey, that's my line." cove teases and you two share lazy wolfish grins. "no~, your line is saying that i'm nice." you correct, proving your innocence.

"so i'm not nice?" cove lays out a trap and you willingly fall into it.

"you are nice, very nice." you lean in to steal a peck, to which cove takes more. when you pull away, you can't help but laugh about it, it's cute how cove always wants more affection from you.

"i'm just saying, it's nice to be with you like this." you flush, suddenly aware of how embarrassing this is to admit. "y'know, being married and living together, 'n all that stuff..." you trail off, glancing off to the side as you let cove process what you said with a flustered face.

suddenly, his arms tighten around you and you look up to see him teary eyed.

"i'm happy too!"

you laugh, reaching up to wipe his tears away. "good."

cove sniffles, his voice thick from crying but also from affection. "i really liked waking up to you today, it was.. nice."

cove's blush must have been contagious because you felt your own face get hot. "i can't say the same since you were missing, but it was nice sleeping together. and we get to do it everyday and every night."

cove laugh, looking off to the side from being embarrassed at your admissions. "sorry, i was just so happy i wanted to surprise you in bed, but you got up before i could get back."

you smile, curling your fingers in his hair. "well, we got our whole lives for that."

you could practically see the hearts popping off cove, "will you wait for me to bring you breakfast tomorrow?"

you laugh, "sure cove."

cove puffs up, happy with every second that goes by. "what do you want to eat? we can go out shopping today. i really want to try this new flavor of juice i saw a few days ago, it's strawberry something..." cove rambles and you let him go on, agreeing and adding onto the verbal list.

eventually, cove pulls out his phone to write this down and you whisper, full of tenderness. "we're being domestic again, but it's for real this time since we're living together."

cove squeaks, unable to hide his face since his hands are holding his phone tight, trying not to drop it on you. "w-we are, aren't we?" cove laugh, happy again.

"thank you for agreeing to marry me."

cove blinks at you, surprised before he laughs. "you're doing it again."

"what?!" you sit up, grinning even though you're taking up a stance. "you've said that twice, what's that supposed to mean!"

cove shrugs, leaving you hanging. he hooks his arms around your neck, eyes full of love. "as if i'd ever say no, i mean.. i never really thought about getting married, but... well, i wouldn't marry anyone else."

you blink away tears, leaning down to capture cove in a kiss.

he hums happily, letting you slide your hand up his shirt when you get lost in each others lips before you pull away.

"let's elope."

"wh-what?!" cove scrambles, forcing you to sit up but he can't go anywhere with you on top of his lap.

"elope, let's get eloped." you repeat, suddenly embarrassed.

cove coughs, "right now?!"

you nod before you back track, "i mean.. unless you don't want to! i can wait, i'm just so happy that it came out..."

it's silent for a moment, and cove is trying to get his temperature down before he explodes..

"let's do it."

you snap your neck to look at him, "huh?"

cove is flustered and sweating a bit "let's elope.." he finally looks at you instead of his hands. "i can't wait either, and i mean.. we're going to be husband and wife anyway so, why not..?"

you grin, "okay! um- i'll get ready then." you stop, realizing there's some things that should be done before hand, "oh, maybe we should call our parents?"

cove nods, giving a strained smile. "they're gonna tease us again.."

you take his hand, "thats okay. we'll suffer together." cove pushes your shoulder with his and rolls his eyes.

"yeah, you're right. we got this."

tags : (after) step 4, multiple dialogue choice for poc readers/readers w different hair length/upkeep

you stir, your dream disturbed by someone shuffling and squirming and a hand on your cheek.

slowly letting your dream go, regrettably since it was just getting interesting, and blink sleepily at the mess of black hair beside you.

you groan, turning your head to hide it in the pillow.

"why are you up? it's not even 11 yet..." you grumble, slipping baxter's phone back under the pillow. it must've ended up there somehow after you two fell asleep in the middle of your youtube binge, and until you're ready to get up it'll stay there.

"just admiring you."

you smile, peeking at him. "no way, you're jus' saying stuff."

baxter looks so tender, his hand moving from your cheek to hold your hand. "i'm serious. you're the prettiest girl in the world."

a coy, wolfish smile comes on his face, "even if-

-your hair is sticking up on one side." you fly upright, covering your hair with your hands.

-your hair is kinda sticking up." you fly upright, snatching up your bonnet/scarf that came off in the middle of the night and fixing it.

-you drool in your sleep." you jump, rubbing your mouth to wipe away the tacky spit.

you huff as baxter chuckles away, "sorry i- ack!"

you slap baxter with the pillow, throwing the sheets away and running to the bathroom to wash up. "laugh it up! you're worse than me, y'know?"

baxter finally sits up, showing you his own messy hair do. it's flat on one side. you stifle a cackle.

he gazes at you softly, sleep and love softening his features. "i'm pas' that."

you don't bother closing the bathroom door, knowing baxter is slow on your tail. "you put salt in your coffee yesterday. are ya sure about that?"

you turn on the shower, letting the water warm up while you brush your teeth.

baxter finally comes behind you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your cheek.

you hum, pleased.

baxter gazes at you through the mirror, addressing you through it. "i love you."

you feel warm, your heart skipping and beating fast at the overwhelming affection from him today. "i love you too."

baxter kisses your cheek, looking up at you through his eyelashes. "so, can i join your shower?"

"only if you behave, pepe-le-pew." you pinch baxter's cheek, grinning at how he scrunches up his face.

while you get ready for the shower, making the water warm enough for the both of you.

usually you take hot showers, but last time baxter turned red so lukewarm would have to do.

usually you take cold showers, but baxter just shook in the corner of the shower before he jumped under some hot water to warm up.

you two take showers together often, this was good bonding time for you two.

"wash my hair for me?" baxter asks, sliding up behind you.

"sure." you switch spots so baxter can get his hair wet. it's a tight fit since this shower isn't meant for two, but you make it work. it was better than the bathtub anyway, that was its own problem...

baxter sits on the stool, something you finally put in since it was straining, having to bend down every time.

"don't get shampoo in my mouth again." baxter cackles, trying not to laugh as you massage the shampoo in his hair.

"that was an accident!" you defend, "and it was your fault! you wouldn't stop laughing and talking while i was washing your hair out!"

"is that so?" baxter's suave voice echos throughout the bathroom. the sound makes you shiver.

"yeah 'that's so'! you play around too much!" you laugh and mock. "now stop talking, i'm gonna wash it out."

baxter willingly shuts his mouth, letting you tip his head back and detach the shower head to wash the shampoo out.

this gives you a good view of his face. truthfully, there are not many times when baxter is quiet, witty and flirty words always coming from his mouth, and his face is always lined with a lazy lopsided smile.

so seeing him like this, with his face relaxed and his shoulders sagging as he lets you work your hands through his hair.

"you can open your eyes now." you wipe baxter's face with your hand to get the water off his face, pushing his hair back.

baxter blinks, getting used to the change of light. he takes the shower head from your hands so he can hold your hand and he smiles, coy and mischievous. "hey there, beautiful, come here often?"

you roll your eyes, ignoring the flush coming over you. "shut up."

baxter laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your stomach, watching you.

"what're you looking at?" you feel so flustered from baxter being so soft and tender this morning.

"you." baxter intertwines your fingers. "you're the prettiest girl in the world."

you crumble, leaning over him. "can't you just say 'i love you' like a normal person.."

baxter smiles his signature lopsided grin, "nope." he says, popping the 'p'.

you two sit for a moment in silence, wrapped up in each other.

"i love you too. even though you're silly." you mumble, moving to grab baxter's face.

"i think you're helping me to look silly," he tries to smile but you're squishing his cheeks. "i love you more though."

"as if." you lean down to kiss his forehead, then his nose, which if he could, there'd be a happy tail swinging behind him. before you finally meet his lips, letting him take more than you were going to give.

"okay bax," you laugh, pushing his shoulders. "enough kisses, the waters getting cold."

his loopy, lovesick grin turns wolfish, "i'll warm you up."

baxter starts to trail his hands along your hips, going from sensual to playful as he starts tickling your sides.

you squeal, holding onto his wrists. "stop it!" you squirm, laughter echoing throughout the shower..

tags : (after) step 4, clingy derek, reader can cook, Encanto movie mentioned (that movie SLAPPED), reader gives derek a massage

it would be a meriacle you woke up before derek if it wasn't already coming up to 2pm.

you don't usually get up this late, but you and Derek had been up having fun and watching the sunrise just for the hell of it, that it ended up happening.

you yawn and stretch, looking at the expanse of derek's muscled back as you consider if kts worth getting up or not.

'mm, i could make him breakfast..'

now that was an idea. finally setting that as your goal, you throw off the sheets and manage to creep out the room as quietly and as quickly as possible.

you may not be the next gordon ramsay, but you at least knew your way around the kitchen. so once scrounging up some eggs and vegetables, you set onto making an omelet.

which... is harder than it looks. and the first one isn't instgram worthy for sure. looks like you'll be taking that one...

you start humming to the music you have playing quietly, swaying from side to side in place as you expertly (at least in your opinion) shimmy the spatula under the omlete to flip it.

then, right as you give a small "aha!" at your success, a sleepy, gravelly call of your name comes from the hallway.

"y/n..? where are ya?"

you bristle, looking around the disordered kitchen panicked. "kitchen! don't come in!"

you curse, taking the pan off the stove and turning off the eye quickly as you slide into the hallway. you thank derek's sleepy movement since otherwise he would've found you out already if he wasn't ready to collapse where he stood.

he blinks, rubbing his eyes. "what's going on? you need help?"

you start pushing on his chest. "no! i can handle everything here, so just go to bed, and I'll be right there, okay?"

derek laughs, letting you push him back towards the bedroom, "i mean sure but what're you-"

"nope! no questions! just go back to bed and wait for me. if you come out before i'm ready, a punishment is in order!" you nag, crossing your arms as derek gets back into bed.

"kinky."

you huff and roll your eyes, trying not to show your amusement. being half asleep also turns off half of derek's filter..

you lean over, roughly tucking him in much to his delight. "now stay here." you kiss his head before you run off, shutting the door 3/4ths of the way before you throw it back open to glare at him.

"i mean it."

derek laughs, his eyes droopy again already. "yes ma'am."

you shut the door and skip down the hall, hurrying to fix the rest of your and derek's breakfast before the omletes get cold.

bustling around the kitchen, trying to keep things neat as you go, but the stack of dishes in the sink and fallen egg shell you quickly pick up says there was a disaster happening here.

in the end, though, you find the nicest plates derek has here and a food tray before you plate up the food with care, even cutting and peeling some fruit on the side to go with your choice of yogurt or oatmeal, before making your way to the bedroom, humming.

you're happy you got to do something nice for derek, even though it almost went up in ruins a few times. be it from derek almost walking in, the questionably shaped omelet, or almost getting orange juice in your eye when peeling.

you somehow balance the tray well enough to open the door, and before you can give a loud and playfully formal announcement that food is ready, you realize derek is asleep.

he looks so serene, arm stretched out on your side of the bed and the sunlight hitting his back nicely.

you smile, creeping up and sitting the tray down carefully. equally as careful, you ease yourself onto the bed, petting derek's hair as you debate waking him up or not.

you push his hair off his forehead. his hair feels and looks so different when it's not gelled up in his signature style, he still looks handsome like this though, maybe even more-so.

"mmm, tha' you y/n?" derek takes your hand out of his hair and into his, loosely holding your hand.

"yeah. i made you breakfast but if you're too tired we can eat later." you kiss his hand.

derek hums, a dopey smile coming on his face. "i could eat." derek sits up, stretching with a groan and slumping against the pillows, trying to wake himself up.

you present the tray, popping the legs and situation it between you two so you can eat as well.

"oh that's so sad, he just wants to eat with his family.." you fret, absent-mindedly playing with derek's hair.

derek hums, mumbling something.

you look down at him, thinking derek looks like an sleepy pup that thinks he's still a lap dog. derek is much bigger than when you guys were kids, something you still can't get used to some days.

"you falling asleep?" you push his hair back, showing derek's droopy eyes.

he squirms, still keeping his arms wrapped around your waist. "no.." derek yawns, burying his face into your stomach.

you laugh, tugging on little strands of derek's hair, that elicit a low, gravelly hum from him.

"okay, tell me if you want anything." you lean down, trying to kiss derek but the position just strains your neck and back.

derek looks up, peaking at you and smiling when he sees your pouty lips. he leans up, holding the back of your head as he gives you a few soft kisses that he can't help but smile through.

you smile back at him. "lay down with me.." derek purrs, his voice hoarse with sleep.

"i'm trying to watch the movie!" you laugh, derek already pulling you down the bed so you can lay with him.

"and you can watch it from my arms." derek snuggles into your neck, kissing the back of your neck which makes you shiver and laugh.

at some point near the end of the movie you ended up falling asleep, much to your disappointment.

you smack your lips, "dang it..." you fumble for the remote in the sheets, finding it at the end of the bed, only saved by the foot board.

while you start rewinding the movie, derek walks back in.

you perk up, scooting towards the edge of the bed. "derek!" your voice is thick with sleep and your head feels cloudy still from dreamland but seeing derek makes you feel a bit excited.

"you're awake." derek comes to your side, rubbing the towel over his head. you hum, "did you fall asleep too?" you prop yourself on your knees to help derek dry off, "i slept through the ending..." you pout.

derek laughs, "we can watch it together. do you think we can start over? i wasn't paying attention earlier..." derek admits sheepishly.

you nod, then realize derek probably didn't see you before he turned around so you said yes.

while derek looks for clothes you respond to lee's spam texts about something or other.

you're in the middle of typing out another response to respond to your cousins fangirling when derek groans and sighs.

derek slumps over, rubbing his neck.

"you okay, baby?"

derek startles a bit, turning to look at you sheepishly. "yeah, i'm fine."

you roll your eyes and send a quick "brb" text before throwing the phone somewhere on the bed. "no you're not. are you stiff? sore?"

derek comes closer to you, kneeling on the rug so he can hug your waist. "a bit.. guess i've been going to hard on arm day." you both laugh.

"yeah, i don't think those guns need to het any bigger." you laugh, curling your fingers in his hair. "oh! how about i give you a massage?"

derek looks at you with wide eyes, "you can do that?"

you shrug. "i'm not a professional, but it might help. do you want me to?" derek nods, a bit too enthusiastic, which makes him blush and clear his throat. "if you don't mind.."

you shake your head and push derek's shoulders so you can stand up, "not at all, wait here.."

it takes a moment to find the lotion, a con of having moved into a new place: everything is in an odd place.

you don't keep any oil or anything like that that would be more appropriate, so this would have to do.

derek is a bit awkward at first, but once you put on some music for yourself so you can focus, derek starts watching the animal tiktok's your friends were spamming in the group chat, occasionally apologizing for his laughter making your body bounce.

you're happy and share a few laughs and idle conversations between the two of you. you don't really know what you're doing, and mostly following a few tips from online.

derek sighs, sinking into the mattress. "that's good..."

your hands smooth over his back, spreading the lotion down to the small of his back and kneading a bit.

satisfied now that derek looks relaxed and you've done the best you can to make your lover feel better, you lean over to kiss the back of his neck. "there you go, baby."

derek hums, and you move around to lay beside him. "thank you. i feel so much better." derek nuzzles into your neck, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in.

you laugh at derek's clinginess, wrapping your arms around his back as well. "i'm glad, i wasn't really sure what i was doing."

derek starts peppering kisses all over your face, both of you smiling and laughing.

eventually, derek pulls away, having flipped you over and is gazing down at you, his eyes full of love and are a bit glassy. "thanks for taking care of me today. you're amazing..."

you reach up to cup his cheeks, "you're worth it, you need to be taken care of."

derek laughs, tears gathering on his lashes. he tucks his face into your neck, completely wrapping his body around your own. "i love you so much."

you brighten, surprised but happy with derek's declaration. that's the first time either of you have said the L-word.

"i love you too, derek."

[1-800-papaya]

Cowgirls Don't Cry

Cordell Walker x Sister!Reader Warnings: Mentions of death and grief, but mostly fluff and emotional conversations.

There’s this feeling when the glue dies, when it becomes clear that someone important and special dies and the mark, they left of the rest of the family becomes clear. That feeling permeated every aspect of life and everybody dealt with the grief in different ways. Maggie threw herself head long into her work, she tended to the horses in the stables all hours of the day and night. Her brother Cordell left and fell into a dark hole; Liam became the glue and voice of reason. That was until Liam proposed the idea of him filing for custody of Stella and August, that broke Maggie’s hold on all that was sane.

The room was still as Liam’s proposal sank in, his words shaking Maggie’s resolve as she tired her best not to lash out. As much as she wanted to reach across the table and punch her brother in the face, she couldn’t do it, not in front of the kids.

“How dare you,” Maggie seethed, her face not hiding the anger she held for her brother in that moment. The rest of the walker family simply stared at the young brunette women as she uncharacteristically fought with the middle Walker sibling.

“What do you mean, Stella and Auggie need stability and a Cordell isn’t here to do it so why not” Liam spoke, trying to reason with his little sister. While normally the only daughter of Abeline and Bonham Walker would join her brother in being the voice of reason in the family, today it seemed Liam’s words were the straw that broke the camels back.

“Don’t talk like he’s gone, Cords not gone like that” Maggie chastised her brother trying desperately to not raise her voice in front of Stella and August, but she couldn’t help it. In her mind, Liam’s suggestion was him talking like Cordell was dead and the family needed to move on.

“Maggie, Your brother isn’t suggesting anything,” Abeline tired to sooth her only daughter’s rage. “Not in front of the kids” she urged her child.

“No Momma, He’s…He’s talking as Cord’s never coming back” Maggie said teary eyed. While Maggie always told people that she loved both her brothers equally, something about Emily’s death and Cordell leaving that in this moment she despised Liam.

“Y/N Y/M/N Walker” Bonham’s firm voice cut harshly though the impending fight. Maggie looked at her father in teary silence. Without another word Maggie left the room, the house and escaped to the only place she’d ever felt at peace, the stables.

Liam found his sister sniffing away and rubbing her eyes with her head in her hands, tucked away in the corner of an empty stall. She had dug up a blanket the siblings had kept in the barn for moments just like this. Stepping into the stall, Liam sat down pulling his sister in his arms.

“I’m sorry, we all miss him you know” Liam spoke into his sister’s hair as sobs racked through her. Her walls crumbling as she was enveloped in the safety of her brother’s arms. While she might have hated Liam for his suggestion, the comfort she felt in his arms was something she was craving as her emotions got the best of her. The siblings sat there in the silent night, Liam letting Maggie cry.

“Frist Emily and now Cordi, I don’t know if I can do it any more Liam”.

“You’re not alone Rae”.

“Is he dead?” While her question was not out of the realm of possibility, the fact that his teary-eyed sister had timidly asked it anyway shook Liam a little. Liam didn’t respond for a minute; he didn’t know what to say to console her. In the end Liam only whispered a simple ‘no’, causing a new, fresh wave of tears to flood down her blotchy cheeks.

For the following months Liam regularly checked in with his sister and soon persuaded her to talk to someone. While Maggie still threw herself into her work, her conversations with Dr Levitt helped her redirect her pain and loss into healing via her interactions with her family. Maggie invested deeply into both Stella and August’s life and schooling, she encouraged both teens to came and talk to her when they needed or no one else would listen, Aunty Maggie would listen. The Walker family learned to move forward, to understand their feelings relating to Emily’s death, even with the dark cloud of Cordell’s absence looming over them. Y/N never wanted to take Emily’s place as the family’s glue, but when a void appears in the family, someone must fill this important role.

When Cordell returned it was like the last few months never happened. The moment Maggie laid eyes on her brother, and she saw the worn look in his eyes, the stone walls and supports she’d built crumbled within seconds. She became distant once again, throwing herself into her work on the ranch once again.

***

The sun was slowly rising over the family ranch when Cordell drove back up the drive. His brain foggy with memories of Emily. The ranch was quiet, at this time in the morning, he didn’t think a single soul would be up yet. Then he saw Maggie walk across the yard and towards the stables. Even from this distance, Cordell could see the sag in her shoulders and the sluggishness in her walk. Sat in his truck a little longer and watched as a small smile graced his sisters’ lips when she opened the stable doors and greeted the horses housed within. Later, when he entered the family kitchen, his sister was notably absent.

“Morn’ Mamma,” Cordell greeted Abeline Walker, embracing her and kissing her head.

“Morning Darling” Abeline gestured to the pot of coffee on the counter and flipped the pancakes.

“Where’s Nolia?”

“Probably out with the horses, why don’t you go rangle her in for breakfast” His mother asked as Cordell downed his first coffee of the day. Cordell merely nodded and ventured out to the stables. The family’s large stables oak doors were swung wide open, and Cordell could see his sister tending to an young Tennessee walker colt.

“He’s new” Quipped the Texas ranger.

“Yeah, Daddy and I found him injured wondering the Davison’s old land” Maggie answered absentmindedly, stroking the nose of the chestnut-coloured colt.

“What’s his name” By now Cordell was leaning against the door to the colt’s stall.

“Cordi”

“You missed me that much huh”.

“Yeah, I guess mamma sent you” Maggie quipped turning to her brother, Cordell once again merely nodded in response, “You want to see something”. Cordell raised his eyebrows in query, Maggie mentioned for him to follow her. The pair walked further down the stables.

“You remember Pop tart the Appaloosa mare daddy got me for my birthday a few years ago,” Cordell hummed, that horse had been Y/N’s pride and joy, she rode the mare any chance she could come rain or shine, “Well a few months ago she had a filly”.

Maggie leant against a new stall, this one was occupied by a large white and grey speckled appaloosa and a smaller almost identical filly. “I couldn’t help myself and named her Emily”.

Cordell watched as the small filly crossed the stall and left the comfort zone of her mother. Reaching his hand into the stall, the filly gave a tentative sniff. Maggie nudged her brother’s arm and handed him a small carrot, which he offered to the foal. Emily excitably munched on the treat before pushing her head into Cordell’s hand once more, searching for more carrots.

“Why Emily,”

“She was born a week after you left, everyone was so lost, when daddy asked me what we should call her, Emily was the only name I could think of. The kids seemed to brighten up a little when I told them her name. Stella even helped me tend to her those first few months” She answered as she refilled the feed and water buckets in the stall.

Weeks past before Cordell got the courage to talk to his little sister again, this time he came armed with the knowledge of Liam betrayal and how defensive the young women had gotten. Once again, he found her tending to the horses in the barn.

“Maggie” Came Cordell’s voice, laced with an unusual mix of uncertainty and confidence for the Texas ranger. The women in question simply hummed in acknowledgement as she brushes the stallion’s coat. “I know what Liam did”

The barn remained silent; it was as if the few months that Cordell had been undercover were a period that his sister mere wished to forget now that he has come home.

“We were all grieving Em’s death and then your disappearing act really rocked to boat” Y/N’s voice was soft as her hand stilled, Adonis – the stallion maggie was tending to whined slightly at the lack of attention. “Then Liam suggested petitioning for custody of the kids, i…I just couldn’t believe he even thought about it…to me it felt like he thought you were never coming back and…I…I thought he was suggesting y…you…were…dead” She stuttered around her tears. Cordell didn’t respond both his brother and Stella had recounted the pain and anger in the usually soft and understanding women when Liam brought up his idea at family dinner. Instead, he simply stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Y/N.

“I know, thank you for defending me”.

“Always”

“Now,” Cordell said after separating from the hug and clasping his hands together, “Whatever Momma is cooking smells absolutely amazing” Y/N smiled and followed her brother back into the family home, linked at the elbows like they use to do as kids.

Abeline’s smile grew when she saw her children walk into the kitchen, Y/N giggling loudly, seemingly at something Cordell had said. For their mother, it sparked joy to see her baby girl smile a genuine smile, something that hadn’t graced her lips since the family received the news of Emily’s death. She hoped and prayed that night that the smile on Y/N’s lips never had to leave ever again.

[ofmonstersandlovers]

I need Oliver and Knox proposing to me. NEOW.

I GOT YOu

How They Would Propose To You:

Oliver

It's a simple proposal but one that warms your heart

Will taking you to all your favorite places

You'd basically be treated like royalty

Though, that happens everyday with this sweetie

Despite it being a simple proposal, it's one that Oliver planned for for months

He knew somewhere during the beginning of your relationship that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you

It was during a cuddle session while he accidentally shifted and you weren't scared of him at all

In fact, you were more than supportive and still wanted to hold him despite him being furry now

It made his heart swell up with love and that's when he knew

He only got around to planning it about a year or two into the relationship

Taking months to plan out the perfect day for you

He wanted you to know just how loved you were, how much he really cherished you

Would end the day at the dinner he always went to

The ring would be in your favorite milkshake

And because Oliver is a romantic at heart, with was a silver band with a moonstone in the middle of it shaped as a Cresent moon

When you found the ring, you were confused but immediately knew what was happening when Ollie got down on one knee

He gave his speech and couldn't help but cry during it, spilling his heart put in that cozy dinner where he first saw you

You said yes (of course you did what), and Oliver was the happiest Alpha in the world

Tears of joy were shared all around, and as cliche as it was, the servers at the dinner couldn't help but cheer at the successful proposal.

Knox

Woo did it take this man a while to propose

Probably around 5 years into the relationship did the thought cross his mind

You two were cooking together, a domestic thing, and it clicked

He wanted every day to be filled with this domestic air, to be with your forever

Knox felt hisbchest squeeze as you looked at him with that brilliant smile when the food came out perfectly

He fell in love all over again

Despite ut being sudden, Knox was ready to dive immediately

Like

Immediately

The next day he forced Oliver to come with him to go ring shopping after vaguely measuring your hand in his that same night

The ring was a classic gold with a beautifully cut diamond in the middle

That same day, he came home and hid the ring from your prying eyes

Knowing how he wanted to propose

His was abrupt and more subtle as a bomb

You woke up the next day. Not noting anything different except for a rock on your ring finger perfectly nestled there

You screamed and ran out of the room, finding Knox cooking breakfast with a taut back filled with nerves

He explained when you saw the teary eyed expression on your face

Explained that he loved you more than you know. And wants this to be his forever

To wake up to your gorgeous face knowing you were together, to hear your sweet voice every day

The speech was direct but very Knox that he couldn't help but laugh and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug

Unknowing to you, Knox was scared

Even though he was so sure on being with you, he had his doubts about how you felt

About if you'd say yes to him

But hearing you agree, that sweet smile on your face as you giggled into his chest, he couldn't love you more

[momoshin]

Ryujin fluffy alphebet a-z 🥺🥺

A = Activities (What do they like to do with you? How do you spend your free time together?)

PICNICS! making your own food (or buying it sometimes) and setting a blanket in the middle of a nice park where kids and dogs could be easily spotted. she’ll ask you to read poetry to her, play her guitar for you, you’ll sing together, just two fools in love. also, scrapbooking! it’s something you both discovered you liked doing together very early on in your relationship.

B = Beauty (What do they admire about you? What do they think is your most beautiful feature?)

loves your lips, eyes and waist. she loves kissing you, but just looking at your lips makes her heart race, same with your eyes, she could keep eye contact with you forever, she just loves everything about them. and your waist is her hand’s favorite place, whether you’re sitting or standing, one if not both of her hands will always be on your waist.

C = Comfort (How would they help you when you feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

ryujin won’t bother to pull you aside, she doesn’t care if there’s anyone around, she will stop what she’s doing once she sees any signs of you struggling and asks if you need a breather or if she can help in any way, if you say no, she will stay by your side and let her hands run up and down your back to help you calm down, will hug you if you let her and tuck her chin on top of your head while humming melodies to you.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

she’s so selfless, even with dates she’s always making sure you’re comfortable with wherever and whatever you’re doing, hands always entangled and she’s always willing to pay for whatever you want

E = Equal (Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?)

dominant for sure, whether it’d be in bed or not

F = Fights (Would they forgive you easily? What are they like while fighting with you?)

she would hate fighting, the possibility of upsetting you to the point where you’d rather sleep on the couch than with her terrifies her, and as soon as you grab your pillow and a blanket, she grabs your wrist and tries to convince you to stay with her, puppy eyes full of apologies that her words couldnt quite express

G = Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what you are doing for them?)

SO grateful, ryujin is generally grateful for her life, where she is and such, but she always thanks you for doing small things for her, making her breakfast, anything really.

H = Hugs (What is their favorite way to hug and cuddle you?)

she personally loves when you casually come up to her and without interrupting her conversation, press up against her and wrap her arms around your shoulders yourself.

I = Inspiration (Did you change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

ryujin definitely holds less grudges ever since she met you, she doesn’t feel the need to see the people who have made her suffer, suffer, she doesn’t feel the need to prove herself to anyone, doesn’t listen to mean comments or people who just want to bring her down.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

mm depends ? she trusts you more than anyone, and she trusts both your friends, so when she gets jealous its more of a “why the fuck is that guy looking at my girlfriend like he wants to eat her” kind of thing, it usually involves someone she’s never seen before, and it leads to her walking over to the two of you and not so subtly placing a hand on your waist, calling you all sorts of nicknames while glaring at them

K = Kisses (Who initiated the first kiss? What kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

she initiated the first kiss! she’ll peck your lips so many times in the day but as soon as she has the chance she will pull you to the side and get her well earned dose of kisses. her kisses usually range from short, repeated pecks, they are goofy at times, sensual even, and she finds herself biting your lip gently every once in a while

L = Love Confession (How would they confess to you?)

in bed, the two of you looking at each other silently and then she just says all these things that sounds like she’s proposing because it’s so detailed and you can tell she loves you so much it’s quite inevitable for you to cry or get teary eyed as she talks about everything she loves about how and how good you make her feel

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would your marriage be like?)

Yes but not yet, she would probably propose at a meaningful place for your relationship, and i have this vivid image of her wearing a bodysuit like the one for the gda’s last year for her wedding, she’d let you make the important decisions but would be completely involved whenever you asked for her opinion and would try to help as much as she could so it didn’t all pile up for you.

as for marriage, i think the dynamic would fit you both perfectly, the shiny bands on your hands, loves the way ‘my wife’ slips off her tongue as she introduces you to someone, or whenever someone asks you about each other and uses the ‘your wife’ it just gives you both butterflies all over again.

N = Nicknames (What do they call you?)

baby, angel, my love, short versions of your name sometimes!

O = On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

everyone can notice, it’s like an aura she carries around and she’s instantly bubblier, in situations that maybe would’ve gotten a rise out of her she’s more patient, she’ll be nicer to her members and such,, she makes sure to text you good morning and good night, throughout the day, that she misses you, that she loves you, sends you small details when she can’t make it to deliver them personally, just always reminding you of her appreciation, besides, she never shuts up about you, her members claim are sick and tired of hearing ‘y/n this, y/n that’ but in reality, they love seeing ryujin so happy and loved.

P = Parent (What kind of parent would they be?)

idk if i can see ryujin with kids, but in the chance you do have any, she would be such a cool mom, taking them to her studio just so they could hop around to music while she choreographed something, maybe she has a room for them to play and nap if necessary too, and if you have a boy, she would be his hero literally, he’ll always want to be like her and copy her every move.

Q = Quirk (Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship or a cute quirk they have that many don’t know about)

she’s such a good cuddler/can make people fall asleep so easily, the way she expertly runs her hands through your hair or back lulls you into a deep slumber almost instantly, the kisses she presses on your nose and forehead only helping the matter

R = Romantic (How romantic are they? What would they do to make you happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

ryujin is so romantic in general, she just loves to express how much she loves you and cares for you in more ways than just saying it. and the long-lasting smile on your lips when she susprises you is so worth it too, it can range from bringing home a dish of chocolate covered strawberries to setting up a bath with rose petals and candles, to just taking a drive around the city to a pretty place she heard about, talking softly about everything and nothing

S = Secrets (Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

you pretty much share anything, honesty is very important for her and your relationship. plus she enjoys telling you even about the smallest details of her day

T = Thrill (Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?)

she doesn’t need to, ryujin is perfectly happy with your dynamic and so are you, but whenever the topic comes up she’s not opposed!

U = Unbearable (What habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable)

EATING IN BED. i know y’all have seen that livestream of her eating tangerines in bed, sticky, juicy tangerines. so whenever she brings a snack or anything to eat to bed she’s expecting your side eye to what she responds promising to not make a mess and to clean it if she does.

and her, she hates your incredibly weird eating combinations, the fact that you will offer some to her to try too, she finds herself gagging just at the sight or smell and threatening to break up with you for laughing.

V = Videos (Do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

of course she does, like i said, the two of you enjoy scrapbooking, that means making your own scrapbook with your own photos taken by each other or strangers you asked on the street, writing down funny highlights of your dates to remember whenever you go through it. also, she has you as her background, it’s a funny yet endearing sight to see her flaunting the front of her phone to everyone so they would catch a glimpse of you as her wallpaper.

W = Wedding (What is your wedding like?)

so much fun, lots of dancing, kissing, and teasing, specially when it’s time to take your garter off ;)). but the most endearing moment is cutting the cake, it’s funny, nerve-wracking because everyone is looking at you, yet a beautiful memory you’ll hold on to forever as long as the photos capturing the moment.

X = eXtra (What is an interesting fact about them that they’ve only told you?)

maybe that she wants to have a farm at some point in her life

Y = Yearning (How do they cope when they’re missing you?)

she’ll call you, of course, talk to you, but ever since you made her a playlist, songs that reminded you of her, of the two of you, whenever she’s missing you she will listen to it, even if she knows the song letter by letter she will listen to all of them until the pain in her chest dissolves into something lighter. even when she’s sad and with you, she’ll play the songs and lay in your arms, sometimes crying with the soft murmur of your singing in her ear.

Z = ZZZ (What is it like sleeping with them? Do they like to cuddle or do they need space?)

i don’t think she moves at all lmao, like you will find every hair and muscle just the way you last saw it before closing your eyes, most of the time she likes cuddling, i feel like she is a bigger spoon type of person, but she will hide her face in your chest every once in a while to be able to go to sleep.

[totallysharkycomplete]

Waiting For You Part Two (Ford Pines x Reader) Idea of It

She can’t seem to keep her eyes dry as she says goodbye to her friends as she awaits to board her bus for Roswell. Fids receives a big hug and a kiss on his cheek, which turns him red. Ford receives the longest hug ever and many kisses until the bus does a last call. Teary eyed she gets on the bus going to the window to wave goodbye, and wave until her friend’s are out of sight.

Ford sighs, a heavy weight in his chest. “A whole year,” he says to no one in particular.

“Better make the most of it.” Fids says.

And Ford does. Before he is even settled into Gravity Falls anomalies begin jumping out at him left and right. His expectations are not only met but exceeded by everything he manages to find or run into.

She and Ford had agreed to write and call as often as possible, however they were both swept into their research and a month passed. Ford is disturbed by his research when there is a knock on his door. He finds a mail carrier on his porch.

“Letter for Ford Pine?” They ask.

“Yes, that’s me.” He informs them and they pass over the letter.

Ford looks at the envelope, on the front is written:

FORD PINES RANDOM CABIN IN MIDDLE OF WOODS? GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON

The return address is from his girlfriend in Roswell, New Mexico. Ford eagle receded back into the house and tore open the letter, but took care to not tear the little ufo drawing she had scribbled onto the back. Inside the message reads:

Stanford! <3 <3 <3

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write but I assume we are both extremely busy with research. Also, I never received your address or phone number.

Most days spent here are almost like an archeology dig, we’ve found nothing alive but many fossils and bones. Drop me a line or write as soon as you can. I love and miss you so much!

The bottom was signed with her name and a little kiss mark. He immediately felt guilty for not contacting her sooner. The cabin didn’t even have a phone line hooked up to it yet.

Ford sat down right away to write a reply. He filled his letter with drawings and talked all about the amazing things he had seen, as well as apologize for the long radio silence. When he was done he went and mailed his letter, receiving many strange looks while in town. He also went and got signed up to have someone come and install a phone line.

She received her letter a few days later. As she read all about the wonderful things Ford was doing, she couldn't help but feel envious, and a little sad. While her boyfriend was galavanting around the woods talking to mythical creatures, she was stuck in a hot desert digging up fossils. Fossils were cool and all and she knows they are an important part of discovering the past, but she wanted real living and breathing creatures.

The letter continued back and forth until Ford got connected to a phone line. It had taken a while and snow had just begun to fall. He called her as soon as it was. Anxiously he waits while the phone rings.

“Hello?” A voice answers from the other side.

“Hello? Yes, this is Stanford Pines I’m trying to get ahold of-,” he's cut off by the person on the other end.

“Ford!” She squeals. “You got a phone line!”

He can’t help but to chuckle. “I did, I’m sorry it took so long.” He sighs, his heart feeling content at the sound of her voice. “I hadn’t realised how much I had missed your voice.”

She giggles. “I’ve missed your voice too. So tell me, is Gravity Falls everything you’d hoped it would be?”

“All that and more.” He tells her.

They talked for over an hour before she had to get off the phone.

“We have a meeting during dinner.” She pouts. “But I’ll call you soon.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” He smiles, but stops when he hears her sniffle. He calls her name in question. “Everything okay?”

She sniffs again. “I’m fine. I just really miss you.” Her voice is small and quiet. “This isn’t really turning out to be what I wanted, and I’m a little jealous of you.” She confessed.

Ford sighs, his heart breaks at fact his love isn’t happy. “Just six more months and you’ll be here with me. You just have to hold out a little bit longer.”

She sighs. “I know, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

To their surprise, she joined Ford sooner than either of them thought she would. That night at her diner meeting the lead researcher wasn’t there. Instead they were informed that he had been arrested due to fraudulent charges. The research he had used to get his grant was stolen and fake. The research program was ending and everyone needed to be out by the end of the week.

As soon as she was back in her dorm she tried to call Ford, the phone rang, and rang, and rang. He must not have an answering machine yet, she thinks.

She wished he would pick up because she was going through so many emotions at once. Happy to be seeing Ford, disappointed all the work she had done was for nothing. Worried Ford wouldn’t be excited to see her early, anxious he wouldn’t want her there yet.

Ford of course wanted her there now. To occupy himself he trudged through the snow trying to find some kind of snow beast he had heard about. He was elated when he found it, but unfortunately it wasn’t as excited to see him as he was excited to see it.

Ford was scribbling down notes in his journal when he took a step forward to try and get a better look. He stepped on a twig and it snapped. The beast turned around and came barreling towards him.

Ford tried to run, but the breast was much larger and faster. It reached up to him and swatted at him with one mighty arm. Ford flew across the forest and slammed into a tree, hitting his head and arm pretty bad. He slumped onto the ground vision blurred, a small stream of blood coming from a cut above his eyebrow.

The beast began walking towards him when a small whining sound, almost like the cry of a baby black bear stopped it. The last thing Ford saw before he passed out was the beast walking away to its baby. ---------- When Ford awoke he was surrounded by bright lights. His vision sorted itself out to see he was in a hospital bed, his arm in a sling and he could feel he had a bandage wrapped around his head. His free hand was being held by a much smaller hand.

Looking down, Ford saw her. She was sitting cross legged in a chair that was pulled up right next to the bed. Her arm was used as a makeshift pillow under her sleeping head on the bed, her soft warm hand held his.

His smile grew even though he was unsure as to how and why she was here. He brought his girlfriend's hand upto his mouth and gave it a small kiss. The gesture caused her to stir.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Ford?” She mewled. Her smile grew ear to ear before turning into a scowl. “Stanford Filbrick Pines.”

His smile fell as well and his face turned to shock.

“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” She begins. “I called you and called you and got no reply, then I showed up here to find you in the hospital! And the nurses tell me you sat unconscious in the snow for hours? What were you thinking?” Her lip quivered.

Ford thought of a bunch of excuses before deciding what to say. “I’m sorry,” he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I had no idea the beast would see me, I’m sorry I caused you to worry.” He kisses her hand again. “But I’m so happy you are here.”

She quickly wipes away a tear, trying to still look mad but not doing a very good job at it. She stands quickly and leans over the bed to hug him. “I missed you so much.” She pulls back and he examines her face with a quizzical brow.

“But, why are you here?” He inquires.

She goes on to explain the situation. Then she explains how when she found the cabin empty she began to ask around, someone said one of the local lumberjacks had found “the scientist from the cabin in the woods” unconscious and bleeding in the middle of the forest, which led her to the hospital.

“You’ve been unconscious for almost two weeks.” She explains. “You’re mother is calling me everyday worried sick.

“You told my mother?” Ford looked mortified.

“Of course I did, Ford.” She gave him a soft smile. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Before Ford could voice his thoughts against worrying his mother, a nurse came in. “Mrs.Pines, pardon me but,” the nurse froze. “Mr.Pines, you’re awake! Let me go get the doctor.” They scurried out of the room.

Ford looks at his girlfriend to see her face bright red. “Mrs.Pines, huh?” He smirks.

“They were only letting family in to see you.” She looks away embarrassed. “And I thought it’s be weird to lie and say I was your sister. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” He assures her. “I actually like the sound of that. Mrs.Pines.”

She makes a choked out noise, stumbling over her words before the doctor walks in, interrupting the conversation.

After taking his vital signs and making sure he had no memory loss, the doctor okayed for him to leave the hospital the next day, as long as his wife promised to keep him on bedrest the next five days.

Ford and her spent the next few hours talking. They ate dinner. They also called Ford’s mom who talked on and on about how relieved she was that he was okay, and about how happy she was he found a nice girl like her, and how he should stop “dragging his feet before someone else proposes to her.”

She yawned and laid her head on the bed.

“You don’t have to stay up for me. The armchair lays back if you'd like to sleep.” He smiles.

She murmurs something back, muffled by the sheets. He asks her to repeat herself. “I said,” she sits up red in the face, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t want to be that far from you.”

He chuckles and scoots as far to one side of the bed as he can. “Well then?”

She slowly makes her way onto the bed, avoiding all the wires he’s hooked up to, and his injured arm. Her head lays against his shoulder and she falls fast asleep, Ford not far behind her.

The next day Ford was discharged and instructed to keep on bedrest the next five days. They had taken a cab from the hospital back to the cabin.

Once inside Ford gave her a formal tour, since before she had only looked around for him before asking around town and finding him in the hospital.

“Ford this is all amazing, but you need to get to your bed now.” She begins ushering him towards his bedroom.

He frowns. “You’re not serious are you? I thought you just told the doctor that to get me out of there. We have too much work to do, I’m perfectly fine.” He stops his bickering when she lightly pushes his arm, he winces and pulls away.

“Doctors orders.” She sits him down on the bed. “If you don’t heal all the way and get hurt again it'll just take up more time.”

He sighed knowing she was right. She’s still standing so he places his hands on her hips and pulls her to him. He wraps his arms around her waist and hugs her. She reciprocates by wrapping her arms around his head. They stay there for a moment in time.

The wind begins to pick up and the window rattles. A shiver runs down Ford’s spine. She pulls back and plants a kiss to the top of his head. “Stay here and I’ll make us some lunch.”

Begrudgingly he lets go of her. She returns half an hour later to find him going over his notes by his bed. They share lunch and set the dishes aside. She snuggles close to his side one the bed as he takes out his journal marked one.

“Is there more than one?” She asks.

“Not currently, but who knows how much I could write about here. I can’t wait to show you.” He opens to the first page telling her exactly how he found each anomaly and his encounter with it. After flipping through a few pages he comes to a page and gets really excited. “This, I have a sample of in the lab! Let me get it and show you.” He begins to rise from the bed before her hand grabs his and pulls him back down.

“I don’t think so.” She teases.

He rolls his eyes. “It’s not that far I’d be fine. Plus what am I supposed to do in bed for five days?”

The way she smiles is very mischievous. “You could read over your notes, or read some books, or…” She takes this opportunity to straddle his lap and place her forehead on his. “I'm sure we could find something else to do.”

His hand comes up to cup her cheek and he sighs. “God, I’ve missed you.” He tilts his chin up to begin kissing her. The kisses start off lazy but grow more passionate. She feels him start to grow hard under him and she grinds into his lap, causing him to moan into the kiss.

He tries to flip her around onto the bed but winces when he pulls his injured arm wrong. She stops him by putting her hand on his shoulders. “Let me,” she begins to move down, and starts undoing his pants.

“You don’t have to, ah,” he moans out as she frees his erection.

“I know, but I want to.” She plants a kiss on the top of the pink head before licking up it.

Even though they had been together many times during college, she had never done this to him before.

Ford leaned his head back, looking down at her with eyes half lidded. His hand came to lightly hold her hair, not pulling her hair or pushing her down. He can’t help when a moan escapes his lips as she takes him all the way into her throat with a slight gag. She continues for a few more minutes, enjoying the sound she's getting him to make, before pulling away.

She stands and rids herself quickly of her clothes before crawling back over to him and straddling his lap.

“You don’t want me to return the favor?” He smirks against her lip.

She hums in thought. “We have plenty of time for you to do that.” Her hand reaches down to his member and begins to line herself up, before slowly sliding down onto him.

They both let out a groan of pleasure at the same time before giggling.

The next few days are spent in bed, cuddling, fooling around, and reading Ford’s journal.

As soon as the sixth day they were home came, Ford was up out of bed at the crack of dawn, pulling her up with him. “I have so much I want to show you.”

The next few days were filled with exploring and notes taking. Ford showed her all his favorite things he had discovered. The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months.

Before they knew it they had been together in Gravity Falls for almost five years, living in domestic bliss. She had gotten to live out her dream of experiencing the unusual almost everyday, happy to be by Ford’s side.

One day while she was sick Ford went into town to get some supplies to make soup. He walked past a jewelry store he did everytime he was in town but this time something caught his eye.

A ring with a small circular plate, with small blue emeralds around the middle. He laughed, it reminded him so much of a ufo. He went inside to inquire about it.

“That old thing? Nobody ever wants to buy it. I’ll give it to you for fifty bucks.” The store owner said.

Ford bit the side of his cheek in contemplation before agreeing on the price. He tucked the ring box into a safe pocket for a later day. ---------- She paced back and forth in the kitchen. Ford walked in and watched her in confusion before making his presence known.

“Darling, what seems to be the matter?” Ford’s voice causes her to jump and stop her pacing.

“Well I, uh,” she looks at her hand and moves them in a nervous gesture.

Ford makes his way to her and takes her hands in his much larger ones. “You can tell me. Whatever it is.” He assures her.

She sighs. “Well I, um, don’t know for sure, but…” She thinks about her words carefully. “I know we’ve never talked about this but,” she stops and thinks again. She continues at almost a whisper. “Ford, I might be pregnant.”

There’s a beat of silence before Ford picks her up and spins her around, bringing her in for a kiss. “That’s magnificent!” He beams.

She lets out a sigh of relief, resting her head against his chest. “That’s a relief, I didn’t know how you’d react, we’ve never talked about kids before. But like I said, I don’t know for sure.”

“I’d love to start a family with you.” He kisses the top of his head. “We’ll wait and see what happens.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me hear you say that.” She smiles.

A few weeks later she finds out she wasn’t actually pregnant. However, this led to her and Ford sitting down to discuss the possibility of having children in the future, which they both loved the idea of, when they were less occupied with work. ---------- She had noticed Ford acting strange recently. He was becoming more distant, spending time alone to meditate, which he had never done before. She knew the stress of this project was heavy. Building a portal to other dimensions wouldn’t be easy of course, but she had no idea it would stress him out so bad.

She sighed loudly, wrapping her hands around a warm cup of tea at the kitchen table.

“What’s bothering you, darling?” Fiddleford made his way into the room and sat down across from her. He had been living with her and Ford since helping with this project.

“Ford,” she confesses. “He just hasn’t been himself recently. I guess maybe it’s just the stress of all this.”

Fids nods in understanding. “I’ve noticed it too. He’s definitely not the same man I knew in college, but that was almost six years ago.”

She shakes her head in disagreement. “I mean, he’s matured as a person, we both have, but,” her brows furrow in thought. “This change is recent. I just feel like there’s something he’s not telling me.”

The conversation was interrupted by Ford barreling into the room with a large smile on his face. “There you are!” He walks over to her and plants a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ve got something amazing to show you.”

She stands up and so does Fiddleford. Ford makes eye contact with him and shakes his head no, and points to his own ring finger, signaling to his friend what he had planned. She doesn’t see the interaction and is left confused when Fids excuses himself, making an excuse why he can’t come.

“It’s a little bit of a walk,” Ford explains as they make their way out the door. “But it will be worth it, promise.” He takes her hand in his and she gives him a weak smile. “Is everything alright?”

“Ford, I feel like you’re hiding something from me.” She confesses as they continue to walk.

Ford's face heats up. “I have.”

The emotion on her face is somewhere between confusion and hurt and her eyes search his face for an answer.

“I’ll explain, I promise.” He kisses the back of her hand.

Not much more is said on the long walk. The sun is beginning to set.

“Not that I’m not enjoying this walk with you, Fordise, but are we almost here?” She asks.

“Just a few more minutes.”

And he was right. A few minutes later they arrived on a hill that overlooks Gravity Falls. She sees there’s a small blanket set up with a basket. The sun had fallen just below the horizon. Her heart felt overjoyed yet anxious with what Ford had to say.

They sit together and look out over the town. He pulls her close to his side and begins to explain himself. He explains about Bill and how he’d been helping him, and how he had summoned him. She sits in silence and listens, her face unreadable to Ford. When he finishes he watches her for a reaction.

“Ford,” she says quietly before scowling. “That’s so incredibly stupid and risky!” She pushes his shoulder and not in a playful way before crossing her arms in front of herself. “And you didn’t stop to ask my opinion or tell me until now?” She's looking away but he can see the tears in her eyes.

“I know it was wrong of me to not be honest with you and I apologize.” He tried to take her hand but she pulled away.

“Did you even stop to think about what would happen if he wasn’t good? Ford, what if he had taken over your mind and I lost you? Did you think about how that would affect me, Ford? I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” She wipes away a single tear.

“I was selfish. I didn’t take into account your feelings and I won’t be so foolish again.” This time she lets him take her hand. “I feel the same way about you. I couldn’t live without you. Can you ever forgive me?”

She looks at him with a pout on her face and lets out a heavy sigh. “I can’t stay mad at you for being sure a nerd.”

He chuckles. “You’re a nerd too.” He reminds her.

“I just forgave you and now you insult me?” Now she laughs.

He apologizes again before pulling the picnic basket over and pulling out a few items for them to enjoy.

When they were almost done eating Ford cleared his throat. “So I know you’re opposed to the idea of Bill, but he helped me unveil one of Gravity Falls biggest mysteries.”

Her eyes lit up at the idea. “Which one?”

He points out the horizon as the last bit of light begins to fade from the sky. “The most unnatural cliff formation. Doesn’t it look familiar to you?”

She examines it for a minute. “No way.” She takes another second to look at it, eyes growing wide. “Shut up!” She exclaimed and stood up in disbelief. “Is it really? A U.F.O., Ford?” Her eyes fixed on the cliffs not looking away.

Ford chuckles. “It is.”

“How, when, where?” She breathed out.

“I’m not sure about when and how, but where, you’re standing on it.” He smiles at her, her eyes locked on the cliff.

She whips her head around at him in disbelief but freezes when she sees him. He’s down on one knee, elbow on his knee with hand extended. He held a small black box in his hand. She brings her hand to her face and covers her mouth.

“I meant what I said earlier. I can’t live without you,” he gives a nervous chuckle. “I practiced what I was going to say a thousand time but can’t remember it now. But I love you and if you’d like, I’d love to always have you by my side.”

“Ford, I…” She breathes out.

“Please say yes,” he jokes. “Or I’ll look like a big idiot.”

She laughs before nodding yes. He takes the ring and places it on her finger, before she tackles him to the ground in a hug. They both laugh as she sits up to give him a loving kiss.

“Do you want to go inside and explore?” He smiles against her lips.

“More than anything.” --------- A few months later the gateway is almost complete when the accident happens. She is at the control panels when Fiddleford is accidentally pulled through the portal with the test dummy, before Ford pulls him back out.

She runs to their side just as Fids begins to speak in tongues. He gets up and begins to argue with Ford, announcing he’s done with the project before storming out.

She looks at Ford in disbelief.

Ford sighed. “We might need some outside help.” ---------- Ford had asked you to wait near the portal while he talked to his brother. She sat in the corner at a small desk while Ford explained everything to his brother. She was taken aback when Ford told his brother to take the journal and never come back. They began fighting and she yelled for them to stop, but her words fell on deaf ears, and the portal was accidentally switched on. All she could do was watch in horror as Ford’s brother pushed him, and he fell through.

She ran up to the portal right as it powered down and Ford’s brother began to yell.

She fell to her knees and stared at the portal in disbelief. “Ford, oh god.” She sobbed.

The twin looked over at her with a frown, he had noticed she was there from the start but didn’t ask who she was. “Can we, can we get him back?” He asks.

She looks up at him teary eyed. “Not without the other journals. He wouldn’t tell me where he hid them. He didn’t want me in danger, he,” she stops and swallows back tears, unwilling to cry anymore in front of this stranger.

“What’re you his wife or something?” He stupidly asks.

“I,” she looks up at the portal, “I was going to be.”

[moldisgoodforyou]

the 5 times jj fake proposed and the 1 time he did for real

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex

wordcount: 2.4k

_

the first time he fake-proposed, he was drunk. when he was drunk, jj felt like he needed to proclaim his feelings to the world. he was ultra-touchy with charlie and liked whispering sweet nothings in her ear, and then liked bragging about her to his friends just as much. they were at beta’s spring formal and they were both at the level of drunkenness (after way too many glasses of champagne) where everything was funny. 

“I’m gonna marry you, charlie.” he promised, catching her lips in a sweet kiss. she laughed, pushing his shoulder. “you’re drunk, silly.” he dropped to one knee in the middle of the dance floor, wearing a goofy grin. “charlie walker, will you marry me?” she rolled her eyes and hauled him up by the arms before too many people could notice. “eventually.” he laughed and grabbed a slim napkin ring from the formal dinner table, slipping it on her finger. it was way too big and fell off almost right away, but she stuck it in her purse anyway. 

the second time, jj had just won his intramural football championship (thanks to charlie’s coaching) and they were celebrating at the bar afterward. he was running high on emotions, had a streak of dirt on his face from a tackle and was a little bruised, but was having the time of his life. on his third trip back from the bar, he found a little silver ring on the ground and pocketed it. his arm was slung around charlie’s shoulders all night, and after the second round of playing thunderstruck, he felt compelled to propose. again.  

“charlie, you know I love you, right?” she reached up and swiped her thumb across his cheek, grinning. “of course I do.” he got down on his knee and fished out the ring from his pocket, smirking up at her. the cocky smile was enough to tell her he wasn’t serious. “maybank -” she warned, but he shook his head to cut her off. “listen, listen! I want to spend the rest of my life with you -” one of his brothers nudged him, wary. “dude, are you really gonna propose like this?” 

charlie laughed, crossing her arms as jj shoved him away. “let me finish, let me finish! will you marry me, charlie?” charlie just sent him an amused smile, shaking her head. jj stood quickly and grabbed her around the waist, swinging her around. “she said yes!” he yelled out, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek. she giggled as he slid the ring onto her thumb (the only finger that would fit). “I didn’t say anything!” he nudged his nose against hers, grinning. “shh, pretty girl, do you want free drinks or not?” 

“I hate you.” she responded with a smile, blushing. 

he nipped his teeth at her bottom lip. “come on, don’t talk like that to your fiancé.” 

“oh my god.” 

_

the third time, the two of them were surfing back in the outer banks. they were teasing each other all day, doing stupid shit like dropping in on each other’s wave and yelling flirty things when the other was riding a wave to catch them off balance. (jj even went as far to tackle charlie off her board in the still waters - just for fun.) after a few hours of surfing, they both laid on their backs on their boards out past the waves, arms draped over their eyes to shield them from the sun. 

jj reached out and took her hand, floating her closer. “did you know otters hold hands when they sleep, so they don’t float away from each other?” 

“really? that’s cute.” charlie mused with her eyes shut, about to fall asleep from the rocking of the waves. 

“it’s adorable.” jj agreed. he pulled a piece of kelp from the water and stashed it in the pocket of his board shorts. “would you get married now?” charlie was way too used to his casual talk about the future by now, and didn’t even open her eyes. she squeezed his hand and smirked to herself. “depends, who’s asking?” 

jj didn’t waste a beat to launch himself onto her board, promptly sinking the two of them. “charlie walker!” 

she yelped, sputtering a little as she surfaced. “what was that for?!” 

he splashed a little water toward her. “you know what that was for!” 

she laughed, ducking away. “I couldn’t resist." 

he rested his arms on her board as they treaded water and pulled the string of kelp out from his pocket. “I’m asking. would you marry me?” she eyed the kelp skeptically, then shot the look at him. “j. if that’s your idea of a proposal, you need to do better.” the tips of his ears turned red and he tossed it aside, putting on a smile. “I’m just kidding!” she gave him a short kiss, then nudged him off her board. “come on, one last wave. I’m tired.” 

_

the fourth time, they were on the kiss cam at a south carolina football game. they were visiting for homecoming, one year after graduating, and he had been hinting at getting married more than his usual amount. just the week before, she almost had a heart attack when she found a small velvet box in his drawer, then realized it was just a pair of cufflinks she had given him before. 

she wasn’t sure why she was so nervous about the idea of a proposal, exactly - she loved jj with her whole heart and couldn’t picture herself with anyone else, but the idea of such a big commitment was just...scary. 

the kiss cam panned over toward them and she laughed before leaning over to catch his lips with hers - but he pulled away, getting on one knee. charlie stopped breathing. “jj.” 

he grinned. 

the stadium was dead silent.

charlie looked like she wanted to cry. 

jj nudged her quickly, realizing he fucked up, and mouthed free drinks at her. she exhaled and nodded with a tiny smile and he got up quickly, hugging her tight so she didn’t break down and cry in front of the entire south carolina fanbase. the stadium erupted in cheers and the camera panned away as the game resumed. 

he held her close for a long beat, wincing as she dug her nails into his arm. “I’m going to fucking kill you.” charlie murmured into his ear. he laughed weakly. “too far, huh?” she pulled away from the hug and pressed her hand over her heart, eyes bright and a little teary. he ran his hand through his hair, grimacing. “love you?” he tried. 

she sat and pulled him down to sit with her, resting her head on his shoulder. “you need to knock it off.” he turned and kissed the top of her head, genuinely feeling bad. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, it was stupid.” 

she pulled out her phone and showed him the numerous texts constantly lighting up her screen - especially the ones from her mom and dad. he gulped and charlie had to admit she felt a little satisfaction at him being uncomfortable too. “yeah, have fun explaining that one to my parents.” 

jj had never been more thankful for a fluke south carolina win that day - he was pretty sure that was the only thing that got him out of the doghouse that weekend. 

_

the fifth time, jj and charlie had just returned from a wine tasting tour on their anniversary and the sixth glass of rosé went straight to jj’s head. they were both handsy in the uber on the way home and barely made it through the doorway of their apartment before jj managed to pull charlie’s halter top off. he picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. “can we at least make it to the bedroom?” she giggled as he peppered kisses all over her face. 

he bit her bottom lip playfully and set her on the kitchen counter. “you’re lucky I didn’t take you right then and there at the last winery.” 

“j.” she protested, running her hands through his hair. “bed.”

“patience, pretty girl.” he pulled back slightly to yank his shirt over his head and toss it aside, then resumed kissing her, hard. he trailed a hand up her side, brushing his thumb over her nipple and loving the way she arched her back into his touch. “fuck, j, come on.” she whined, tugging at the waistline of his pants. he swatted at her hand and picked her up again, nipping at her neck as he walked them into the bedroom. 

afterward, he kissed her sweetly, pulling the sheet up over her chest. “happy anniversary, j.” she told him with a smile. 

“I love you so damn much,” he replied with a grin.  

jj rolled over and rummaged around the nightstand for a second, pulling out a black velvet box. charlie shook her head immediately, reaching over and grabbing his wrist. “jj, no.” he paused, glancing at her with a confused expression. “I’m not joking this time -” she shook her head again. “jj, please, not now.” she pleaded. "but I -” she kissed him quickly to shut him up and took the box from him, her heart racing. 

“please.” 

he sighed, resigned, and took the box back to shove it back in the nightstand. “it’s never gonna happen at this rate.” charlie frowned and kissed him soundly. “no, j, just...not like this. I’m ready. but not like this.” that was enough to turn his mood around. “you’re ready? you’re sure?” she smiled a little and nodded. “yes. I promise.” 

_

the last time, they were at their favorite lookout spot in berkeley. they had shared a lot of big moments there (a job promotion, a raise, their first real discussion about future children) and he knew he had one chance to get the moment perfect - since he had fucked up the first five times. he did everything right - called her parents in advance (less for her dad’s blessing, more for the courtesy), told grace beforehand, and had scheduled a photographer to wait in the bushes for the exact moment. 

he was acting strange all day, to the point that charlie thought he was even a little bit mad at her for something she did. 

she should have caught on, given that he got her a gift card to get her nails done a week ago - and her nails were hardly ever polished. but she appreciated the random gesture and got them done anyway, kind of loving the look. she should have caught on when he told her to wear his favorite dress (“you know, the one with the little blue flowers”) for a picnic up on the hill. 

lucky for jj, she was pretty much clueless and went along with it when he pulled on a short-sleeved button down and dress pants, saying he needed to ‘break them in’ - weird, but whatever. 

he slipped the ring in his pocket without the box, afraid the outline would tip her off. as they drove up to their spot with a cooler he packed in the back, he tapped his thumb on the wheel anxiously. “rough day at work, hon?” charlie asked sympathetically. he shook his head. “nah, just...jittery. dunno, must have drank coffee too late at work or something.” she nodded and reached over, squeezing his thigh reassuringly. he flinched away, scared she was going to feel the ring and she furrowed her brow. “jj, what’s up?” 

he laughed, a little high-pitched. “nothing! nothing, just the coffee.” he lied, horribly. “...right.” she replied, dubious. he pulled up to the lookout and grabbed the cooler and blanket from the backseat, stashing the champagne under the car seat before she could see. as they laid out the picnic items, his hands were shaking like hell. charlie took his hands in hers and stepped close, kissing him softly. “you sure it was just the coffee, jj?” 

he took a deep breath, looking around at their surroundings to make sure everything was in order. “sorry, just - I think I forgot something in the car, I’ll be back.” he left her standing there, confused and jogged back to the car. he checked over his pockets for the twelfth time that day, making sure he had the ring, then walked back. she had walked further out to the lookout, a few steps away from the blanket, and he decided to make his move. 

jj walked up behind her then dropped down to one knee, pulling the ring out of his pocket. “charlie -” he started, shaky, and she turned around and immediately slapped a hand over her mouth. “oh my god.” 

“charlie walker, I -” 

“you’re not joking, are you? please don’t say you’re joking.” tears were already welling up in her eyes and he grinned. “will you let me finish?” 

she nodded, smiling ear-to-ear, a hand still pressed to her lips. 

“charlie walker, the last three years loving you have been the best three years of my life and I can’t picture spending the rest of it with anyone but you.” he paused, blinking away what he swore wasn’t tears. “will you marry me?” 

she practically tackled him to the ground in a hug, meeting his lips in a heated kiss. 

he pulled back, laughing. “wait, wait, is that a yes?” 

she nodded, grinning. “yes, god yes!” 

he beamed, shifting her to his lap. “wait, you haven’t even seen the ring!” she laughed, kissing him again. “I don’t even care.” he took her hand and slid the ring on her finger, carefully. she gasped when she saw it, tears welling up again. “oh my god, j, it’s perfect.” he grinned. “yeah? I had a little help from your friends.” 

she admired the ring, then gasped as she realized. “is this my grandmother’s?” he nodded with a proud smile. “she wanted you to have it, since you’re the only granddaughter. I got tipped off that you’d always loved it.” charlie’s bottom lip quivered and he laughed, pulling her into a kiss. “stop crying! this is supposed to be happy!” 

she laughed. “I know, I know! I just...it’s all so perfect, jj. god, I love you.” 

he grinned. “now you’re stuck with me forever, sweetheart.” 

charlie beamed. “I can’t fucking wait.” 

[mrs-hatake]

Dearly Departed

Pairings: Kakashi x F!Reader, Onesided! Dabi x F!Reader

Warning: ooc characters, mentions of blood, dead body and major character death.

A/N: reposting this since tumbler wouldn’t let my posts appear. 

this is what happens when you watch the scene of Carla’s death on repeat and listen to Eren’s YAMEROOO!!

also, I intentionally wrote dabi with his white hair and kept his chosen name.

as always, big thanks for the lovely @runeterrankhaleesi​ for proof reading this fic!

The Sunday market was buzzing like a group of honeybees in their hive despite it being so early in the morning. The people were cheery and had a smile as they presented their products, selling or trading it with their clients.

Y/N was looking at a basket of black berries, trying to determine which one looked the juiciest to purchase for her infamous black berry cake, when she felt a heavy arm snake itself around her shoulders.

“Morning, doll.” Greeted Dabi with a sleazy smile, his body reeked of alcohol and sweat.

Rolling her eyes, Y/N shrugged the arm off her shoulder and pointed at the pile of berries for the farmer to bag up for her. “Two dozens please.” She politely requested.

After she had paid and placed the bag of berries into her basket, she made her way to her next destination. “Whatcha baking today?” asked Dabi as he hooked his finger around a lock of hair that managed to fall out of Y/N’s bun and twirl it around his finger.

“Black berry cake.” She replied, seeming unaware of the finger in her hair as she glanced at the pile of wild mushrooms.

“For me? Awwww, you shouldn’t have!”

“You wish.” snorted Y/N, “It’s for the bakery. You want it? Then you have to pay for it.” She had a cheeky smirk as she held out her open palm to Dabi.

“Oh, I’ll pay.” A wicked grin grew on his lips, “But not in money.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Y/N immediately punched his chest.

“Be glad Kakashi isn’t here, otherwise he would’ve offered you to the Titans.”

It was Dabi’s turn to snort, “Please, what can a teacher do other than lecture me to death?” He then rolled his azure eyes. “Besides, he won’t stand a chance against someone in the Garrison Regiment.”

Y/N just scoffed as she continued shopping for her bakery and what she needed for dinner later that night.

In the middle of their banter, someone from the Garrison Regiment with blonde hair and kohled eyes waved Dabi over for a quick game of poker. The blue eyed young man waved back, pinched Y/N’s cheek despite her being older than him and stole an apple from her before running off to play a couple of rounds with his buddies. No doubt getting shit faced again.

Y/N shook her head. Although Dabi had the honor to work with the Survey Corps thanks to his father’s high ranked position and insane amount of power that he held, Dabi turned down his father and signed himself up with an easy going, albeit lazy, department.

Though, Y/N didn’t blame Dabi. His father was a horrible man and was the reason for most of Dabi’s burns on his body. He resented his father due to his mistreatment towards his family, especially Dabi’s mom who ended up hanging herself after unbarring the guilt for pouring boiling water onto her youngest child.

Kakashi and Y/N had known Dabi most of their lives, what with Dabi being Kakashi’s former student about ten years ago, they knew that Dabi was attached to them even though he refused to admit it.

Though, in recent years, there was a strain in Dabi and Kakashi’s relationship due to the younger of the two developing a not-so-innocent crush on Y/N. He couldn’t help it. She was kind, strong and brave. She was one of the few people who stood up to his father, Enji had tried to drag Dabi back to Wall Sina after he found out that Dabi turned down the Survey Corps’ offer after all the strings he pulled through.

Having had enough, the trio had all moved to Wall Maria and settled down in Shiganshina district.

The trio’s bond grew stronger with each passing day and they almost resembled a dysfunctional family. However, that bond almost broke when Kakashi had finally managed to propose to Y/N and Dabi had stormed off, falling off the radar for days.

Kakashi and Y/N had searched for him in all of the places they thought they could find him. It took them almost an entire week to locate his exact location and the first thing Y/N had done when she spotted Dabi’s white tuft of hair sprawled on some woman’s breast inside a small bar that reeked of vomit and phlegm, was to give him a well-deserved slap.

The tears which had gathered in the corner of her eyes did not fall as she glared at him.

“How dare you.” She spat.

Before Dabi could have the chance to apologize, Y/N turned and stormed out of the bar. Not wanting to hear any of Dabi’s pathetic excuses.

Dabi’s blue eyes met Kakashi’s grey ones. “I’m sorry.” Was all that he could offer to the older man who Dabi once saw as a man he could respect and admire.

Kakashi just sighed and nodded with his head to follow after Y/N.

“Just know that she barely managed to get two hours of sleep each night and had to close the shop the past week to go look for you. You owe her.” said the silver haired man. Dabi just lowered his head in shame.

Hours later when Y/N had served dinner for everyone, Dabi stared at her with hopeful eyes as he wanted to take advantage of dinner time to apologize to the one person he loved more than himself, seeing as she had been avoiding him throughout the day.

Though the hope in his eyes diminished when she didn’t sit at her usual chair, instead going up the stairs.

Casting a questioning glance at his former teacher, Kakashi simply grunted. “Roof.”

Y/N was leaning against the edge of the rooftop, her head tilted upwards to gaze at the million stars littering the ink black night sky.

In the years that Dabi had known Y/N, he never knew that the older woman would be at the rooftop whenever she was upset. Guess there were a lot of things to learn about Y/N, and that Kakashi and Y/N were meant to be together.

His mind had told him, repeatedly, that he wasn’t right for Y/N. That he didn’t know much about her, other than the fact that she was his savior. He had just followed her around like some lost puppy and clung to her like a child would to his mother.

Now that he thought about it, the two never had any instances which allowed for their love to blossom. Y/N protected him. Y/N was kind to him. Y/N supported him but she didn’t love him. At least not the same way she loved Kakashi.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Dabi apologized with a quiet tone of voice as he hesitantly approached the older woman and stood a few feet away from where she was standing.

“I was wrongfully jealous-of Kakashi and of the love you both had for each other.” He then ran his burnt fingers through his white hair. “I guess I always thought that I would be the one to marry you. And I thought the feeling was mutual but I was wrong.” sighed Dabi.

Y/N, however, said nothing as she stared down at the village below.

“It was childish of me to run away, I admit that. But I was hurt and felt betrayed. I wasn’t aware of how you felt for each other. I did sneak my way into your little world, after all.”

“Y/N…Please, I’m so sorry.” Dabi pleaded and slid his hand to cover Y/N’s smaller one.

“I’m not mad.” She finally spoke. Her voice sounded rough, an aftermath of not speaking to anyone throughout the day, not even to Kakashi. She sounded tired and Dabi bit his charred lip, well aware that he was the cause for her distress.

“I’m just disappointed of how you reacted.” She faced him and Dabi’s breath caught in his throat at the expression on Y/N’s beautiful face. She looked frightened, troubled and on the verge of crying. Dabi wanted to punch himself.

“You took off without saying a word. I waited the whole night for you to return and when you didn’t, I went to look for you because I thought you were in trouble!” She choked through the tears.

Dabi wanted to inform her that there was no way any harm could come his way as he was very strong and could protect himself but the inner voice in his head advised him against that, and instead, opted to listen to Y/N’s teary rant. He was itching to hold her in his burnt arms. He longed to bury his nose into her hair to somehow sedate her and ease her anxieties. He wanted to do whatever he could to earn her forgiveness.

“Promise me.” She said through clenched teeth. “Promise me that you won’t ever do something stupid like that ever again! Promise that you won’t leave me.”

Staring deeply into her eyes, Dabi’s expression became serious as he whispered. “I promise.”

Dabi had expected that he was forgiven, that he would receive a hug from Y/N but all that he had received in return was a nod of her head and a soft, “Good night, Dabi.” Before she made her way inside.

He watched her go and he wasn’t surprised to see Kakashi standing by the doorway.

“I’m holding you to that promise.” The teacher stated with an air of finality after he followed after his fiance.

And ever since that incident, Dabi and Y/N were stronger than ever. Even Dabi’s respect for Kakashi was rebuilt from the ground up and his admiration for his former teacher had returned. Though, the cheeky bastard would still tease the silver haired man about stealing Y/N the second she grew bored of him. His jabs didn’t phase them. They knew that they loved each other too much to ever grow tired of the other person.

Even on their wedding day, the love they had in their eyes were exclusive for themselves and nobody else. Dabi was there, in the distance cheering them on and ignored the throbbing ache in his heart as they exchanged vows and kissed. Perhaps that was the reason why Dabi grew addicted to playing poker and drinking. Y/N, naturally, did not approve of such a lifestyle but as long as he returned home then it was all right.

“That’s all for today?” asked the fisherman when he spotted Y/N make her way towards the exit of the Sunday market as he washed his fish to place on display.

“ M’fraid so!” She giggled at the old man.

“Better let me know when you’re done with that cake! My wife’s been on my back nagging me to buy her one since last week!” He imitated the way his wife spoke and Y/N smothered her laugh behind the back of her hand, gently shaking her head at the old man. She wondered if that’s how she and Kakashi would be like when they were older.

“I’ll see you arou-”

KRAAAAAAKK!

A sudden crack of lightning appeared which illuminated the sky into a blinding yellow color that was then followed by a gust of wind that was unbearably warm.

Y/N had fallen into the ground at the sudden commotion, her groceries scattered around her.

And as instant as the lightning had appeared, a dark shadow hung above them and Y/N tore her eyes from the scab wounds on her hands that protected her fall to stare at the giant wall in front of her. And what she saw stole her breath away. Literally.

There, in the distance, stood a Titan. It’s expressionless face gazed down at them. Although its face was void of emotions, Y/N could’ve sworn that it was silently judging them. As if to determine which punishment was suitable for their crimes. What crimes had they committed? She didn’t know.

Within seconds, the Titan’s fist came down on the wall and life returned to the village as screams of anguish filled the open air.

Y/N stared with unseeing eyes at the madness before her.

Living in the inner walls, she never really feared the Titans, almost didn’t believe in their existence due to the tranquility of her village. But ever since she had moved to Shiganshina and had seen groups of priests preaching about their demise and humanity’s downfall, she would toy with the idea that they might be attacked by the monsters one day- just to humor herself. She never believed that that would actually come, especially so soon.

It was the crash of the boulder landing on the market behind her which smothered the screams of the shop owners and buyers, did Y/N snap out of her daze. Turning around, she was greeted with the horrendous sight of blood splattered all over the ground, limbs and intestines could be vividly seen.

Y/N’s eyes rapidly filled with tears as she covered her mouth to prevent the scream from erupting.

Just as she stood up on her wobbly feet, she heard someone screech that the Titans had breached the wall.

Horrified and having a difficult time believing what was happening, Y/N quickly steadied herself and ran towards her house. She had to go and save Kakashi. She had to let him know that the wall had been breached and the Titans had invaded. They needed to take all their required documents to return to their home village. They had to-

Coming to a slow stop, Y/N was stupefied at the sight before her.

What once used to be a row of two story houses was nothing but a pile of wood and stone.

“No.” She heard herself whisper.

And in a daze, as if being pulled by a magnet, she made her way towards her house; the third building on the right with a sandy colored brick wall.

But her house was no longer where it stood.

Brick, debris and fallen clothing that she had personally hung this morning before heading to the Sunday market all lay on the ground, covered in blood and dirt.

Cautious and frightened, she slowly made her way to the biggest pile and began to dig, praying that she won’t find the dead body of her husband, her beloved, Hatake Kakashi. He had to be alive. They had a long journey ahead of them. They dreamed of having children of their own, of opening a school for those unfortunate children of fallen soldiers from Survey Corps. It’s ludicrous to even imagine Kakashi dead, his lifeless eyes staring at her.

“Y/N.”

The scratchy call of her name urged her to dig faster and deeper and her heart dropped to her stomach when she spotted Kakashi’s grey hair covered in dirt. Hurriedly, she removed most of the stone and debris covering his upper body but she could do nothing about the wood that had fallen on his legs.

“Y/N.” Kakashi rasped again and she desperately tried not to break down and cry in horror.

“Go.” He coughed. “Save..yo-yourself.”

But his words fell on deaf ears as Y/N perilously tried to pull Kakashi out from the pile of wood.

In the distance, a large looking Titan was making its way towards their house but its presence was only acknowledged by Kakashi as Y/N was busy trying to get him out. And he felt his heart sore at her dedication and loyalty. At her unfaltering love. But there was no way that the two of them could survive the Titan that was getting closer by the second.

Kakashi had woken up that morning by playful kisses from his wife that turned into a quick session of love making before she had to bathe and head to the market to buy the ingredients she wanted for tomorrow’s bake sale while he stayed at home to grade his students homework.

He was in the middle of complimenting a rowdy and loud child who had convinced himself that he was not suitable for school and would be better off joining the military when Kakashi had heard the sudden crack in the sky. His house rumbled and his teacup crashed to the floor. Just as he was about to lean down to retrieve it, the walls around him crumbled.

When he came to, he was nauseated by the dead bodies and blood splatter that covered his neighborhood. Gone were the colorful flowers that him and his neighbors had spent years growing.

And when Kakashi spotted his wife with terror written on her face, he already knew of his fate. His legs felt too numb and his abdomen burned, his mind screamed at him that he was a lost cause but his heart had a small flicker of hope to survive. But that was pushed to the back of his mind the second he heard something snap in the distance and he weakly turned his head and spotted a Titan coming towards them. Its hideous flesh was an image that Kakashi could never forget.

“Y/N, STOP BEING SO STUPID AND RUN!” Snapped Kakashi in desperation.

“NO! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? I’M GOING TO SAVE YOU!” screamed Y/N as an endless waterfall of tears streamed down her dirt-caked cheeks.

Kakashi would’ve growled in frustration at Y/N’s stubbornness had he not been so weak. He loved his wife dearly, even when she was being hot headed as they were about to die.

“Y/N.” He choked. “Please.”

And, as if becoming aware of her surroundings, she stopped what she was doing and spotted the Titan that was just down the block. And Kakashi knew. Kakashi knew that Y/N was conscious of the situation at hand; she either had to save herself and leave Kakashi behind or they will both get eaten by the Titan. And knowing the love of his life, Kakashi knew that Y/N would choose the latter.

“Kakashi.” She called for him and his heart skipped a beat, “I love you.” she gave him a broken smile and he wanted to cry in anguish. If only…

“Have no fear, your hero is here!” And in came Dabi, zooming into the area with his ODM gear. And, for once in his life, Kakashi was grateful for his appearance.

“Dabi!” Y/N cried, as if an angel had descended from heaven to rescue them.

He ruffled her hair as he smugly approached the fallen house to help Kakashi from under the rubble.

“Go.” Kakashi whispered. “My legs have been crushed and I’ve bled too much. I’ll only hold you back.” And as if to prove his point, Kakashi coughed and a splatter of blood landed on Dabi’s boots.

“But,” Dabi, who was just as stubborn as his wife, frowned at him, almost glaring. “How could you leave her?”

“Remember….Th-The promise.” And Dabi understood what Kakashi meant.

Kakashi had to leave Y/N but Dabi couldn’t as he made a promise to the both of them and he never broke a promise.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered through held back tears. He was scared to lose someone he considered a father figure. Even when he snatched Y/N away from him, Dabi never truly hated Kakashi.

“Don’t be.” Kakashi coughed. “I’m the…one who’s sorry.”

“Please hurry!”

With the final exchange of a silent message through their eyes, Dabi promising to take care of Y/N and Kakashi telling him to remind Y/N how much he loves her, Dabi took off.

“Let’s go.”

“Wait, what are you doing?” Y/N yelled indignantly, “What about Kakashi?”

“Let’s go, Y/N. He’ll only slow us dow- ” He was met with a slap.

“Fuck. You.”

Y/N bypassed Dabi to rescue Kakashi herself when she froze in place.

The Titan had arrived and it was digging through their house. Its mouth began to water when it spotted Kakashi’s disabled body and eagerly picked it up.

Time moved slowly as Y/N silently watched as the Titan brought Kakashi towards its wide open mouth, ignoring as Dabi tugged at her arm for them to escape.

When Y/N didn’t budge, Dabi was left with no choice but to pick Y/N up and sling her over his shoulder and run.

Despite the distance, she could spot the wetness on Kakashi’s cheeks and the small and apologetic smile that slowly stretched across his lips. “I love you.” He mouthed.

And, in a blink of an eye, the Titan’s teeth chomped down Kakashi’s body.

He didn’t scream because he refused to give such pleasure to the creature.

Kakashi could see through his hazy eyes as Dabi continued to run with Y/N slung over his shoulder. He held out until Dabi was able to use his ODM gear to carry them out of harm’s way and into safety.

“Take me with-” And the Titan’s teeth closed down on his neck, ending his words and his life.

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Eleven

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut! 5K

Masterpost

“Oh my god.” You say and turn to him. “Oh my god!”

“Oh my god!” He squeals and picks you up to spin you around. “We’re gonna have a baby!” He sets you down carefully. “Okay, from this point on, this house is a no stress zone. You’re not lifting a finger, I’ll-“

“Harry, Harry!” You put your hands up. “Please, it’s okay. Don’t spiral.” You giggle. “We need to make an appointment with my OBGYN first, take a proper test. She can tell me how far along I am.”

“I wonder if it was the night in your office.” He smirks. “Pumped yeh good that night.”

“Jesus.” You swat an arm at him and wipe some tears from your eyes. “I’ll call tomorrow to see when they can squeeze me in.” He grabs your face and kisses you over and over again.

“Thank you for waiting until I got home. I couldn’t cancel on that client.” You both walk out to the living room and he sees the papers from the university on the coffee table. “What’s all this, lovie?” You both sit down on the couch.

“Well…Dr. Harrison, who I met with today, told me there’s going to be an open position in the Communication Department for the spring semester. She wants me to consider applying. The position is going to open at the end of the month.”

“So it’s not a guarantee if you get it?”

“Something tells me it would be a formality. I was looking over everything, and I’d be able to take classes for free after my first six months, I could go for my PhD.”

“That would be amazing!”

“But where does a new baby fit into all of this?”

“Well, think of how much easier it would be for you to take time off. You may not even need to work every day of the week.”

“I don’t think you get that privilege as a junior faculty.”

“Still, plus you’d have summers off, right?”

“Yeah, major upside. Plus, the winter break is like six weeks long.”

“Oh my god, think of how much time we could spend in London with my mum. The baby would really be able to spend time with her.”

“I know! I was looking over the benefits and they’re actually better than Mark It’s. I think I’m ready for the change. I could at least apply and see what happens, right?”

“Yeah, I think it’s a great idea.”

“If I have this baby when I think I will, I wouldn’t need to use the maternity leave right away because I’d be off contract for the summer, so I could just teach online next fall or use it then.”

“Look at you finding the loopholes already.” He smirks. “I’m really proud of you, this is huge.”

“It just feels right, I think. I mean, Niall’s about to leave, him and Sarah live in their house now, and they’re engaged. I feel like we’re all forming our own little lives and growing up more and more. Rachel even said she was thinking of proposing to Mariah soon, Isaac and Seth seem to be moving in that direction just the same. I don’t wanna get stuck in the past, you know?”

“No, I get it. I think this could be a really good move for you, for us.” He puts his hand on yours. “Apply, see what happens. Stay in contact with Dr. Harrison too, she could help you with the application or coach you through the interview.”

“I’m gonna talk to the doctor too, all of this could add so much stress…but I appreciate you being so supportive.”

“Always.” He takes your hand and kisses it. “I can’t believe that test said pregnant on it. I’m so happy.”

“Me too, babe.”

//

The next day at work you were in the middle of a meeting when you had to get up to leave. You rushed down the hall to the bathroom and threw up. Niall rushed after you to make sure you were okay.

“I won’t come in unless yeh need me to.” He says from outside the door.

“I’m fine!” You get up and rinse your mouth out. You open the door and see the concerned look on his face.

“Are you sick?” He gives your back a little rub.

“Not in the way you think…we’re keeping things quiet for now, just in case, but…I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon…we think I could be pregnant.” You whisper.

“Oh my god!” He gasps and then he quiets himself. “That’s amazing.” He whispers.

“I took the test yesterday, but the doctor will really be able to confirm it. I’ve been nauseous all morning, I guess this is just the beginning.”

“Well, whatever time off yeh need don’t be afraid to ask for it. I got your back.”

“Thanks.”

Around 3PM you leave to meet Harry at your doctor’s office. He dropped Buster off at home beforehand. Your name gets called and Harry gets up to go in with you. The nurse gives him a funny look.

“He, uh, I want him in there with me…” You tell the nurse, and she nods.

Harry had never been to the OBGYN with you before, why would he have needed to? He found it interesting that they made you pee the second you got there. He supposed it was the best way to tell if you’re pregnant or not.

“Alright, Y/N, what’s going on today?” The nurse asks.

“Well…I think I’m pregnant. I took a home test yesterday and it said so. And I’ve thrown up a few times in the last couple of days.”

“Any fever or anything like that?”

“Nope, just nauseous, really nauseous.”

“Alright.” The nurse makes a few notes and looks over your chart. “And this is your…?”

“Husband, Harry is my husband.” You smile at him. “We just got married in April.”

“Oh, congratulations!” She smiles. “Here, put this on, you know the drill. Dr. Johnson will be in with you shortly.”

The nurse steps out and leaves you to change into the hospital gown.

“Why would you need to put that on? Isn’t she just going to look at your stomach?”

“No, she’s going to examine me as well, make sure everything’s alright. It’s pretty standard.”

“Even for this kind of visit.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you putting it on backwards?”

“It’s easier for them when it’s open in the front. Harry…” You sigh. “I’ve been coming here for over ten years, I know what do.” You cling to the front of the gown and hop back up on the bed. There’s a knock on the door.

“Hi Y/N, oh!” She looks at Harry. “We have a visitor today.”

“Dr. Johnson, this is my husband, Harry.” The two shake hands.

“Very nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot of good things over the years.” She looks at you. “Heard we’re feeling a bit nauseous today?”

“The last couple days, actually. As you know we’ve been trying to get pregnant basically since the end of April. I took a test yesterday and it came back positive.”

“I looked over your urine sample.” She beams. Harry stands up to hold your hand. “You’re pregnant, Y/N.”

You and Harry get teary eyed as you look at each other and smile.

“Congratulations.” She puts some gloves on. “You’re only about six weeks along. Now, Harry, I need to take a peek at your wife, and I’m sure you love looking, but-“

“I’ll sit down.” He says.

You lay back as she quickly examines you, making sure everything was fine. She examines your breasts next.

“You’re going to want to take these out if you plan to breastfeed. If you don’t then it doesn’t matter. Your belly piercing for sure you’ll want to remove though, and soon.” She covers your breasts back up. “No lumps or bumps, looking good.” She smiles and gets the ultrasound ready. You wave Harry back over to hold your hand. “This’ll feel cold at first, I’m sorry.” You jolt slightly from the cold jelly on the end of the ultrasound. She moves it around a bit. “Since you are six weeks, we may be able to hear the heartbeat today. There! See that tiny dot on the screen?” She points to it. “That’s your baby.”

“Harry, look.” You sniffle.

“I know.” He also sniffles. You both start to hear something. “Is that it? That’s the heartbeat?”

“Yes.” She smiles at the two of you. “I’ll send you home with the little clip, and we’ll print up some sonograms for you.”

She takes the ultrasound off and wipes your belly clean. She makes some notes on her laptop before sitting down to look at the two of you.

“Now, I know it took us some time for this to happen, so there are some precautions you’ll want to take. Y/N, you’re an active person. I want you to stick to walks and low weight exercises. Maybe even try some yoga to keep yourself relaxed. Is your job very stressful?”

“It can be…my biggest stress right now is that I might be changing jobs. I’ve been asked to apply for a teaching position at my old college.”

“That’s wonderful! Do you think all of that will be too much for you?”

“I’m not entirely sure. Something tells me I’ll get the job if I apply. It’s mostly the unknowns, like switching insurances and a new commute, stuff like that.” Dr. Johnson nods and looks at Harry. “And what do you do for work again? You’re a photographer?”

“Yeah, I own my own studio. We do really well.”

“Good, so you can be home for her when she needs it? Help out with things?”

“I already offered and she told me to calm down.” He chuckles.

“Y/N, I want you to let Harry help you. I know you like things a certain way, but let him pick up the slack alright? I wanna get you through this first trimester. I’m gonna give you a list of vitamins and nutrients you’ll need, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I want you to know though, if for any reason something happens, and…well…you miscarry, it’s not because you did anything wrong, okay? I’m sending positive vibes, but just be aware that those things happen.”

You shudder at the thought, but know she’s right.

“Maybe we should wait to tell our families and friends then…just until I’m farther along.” You say to Harry.

“Good idea. Although, didn’t you throw up at working this morning?”

“Okay, so Niall has an idea, but other than that let’s keep it quiet.”

“Okay.” He smiles and looks at the doctor. “Anything else?”

“Come see me again in three weeks. You can make an appointment on the way out. If anything feels weird though, come see me sooner.”

“Thanks, Dr. Johnson.” You smile as she exits the room.

You hop off the bed and get dressed. The woman at checkout hands you the sonogram prints and the copy of the video of the baby’s heart beating. She gives you an appointment card and out the door you go.

“So, should we head to the market and get you some pickles and sourcrout?” He jokes. He wipes a few tears from his glossy eyes.

“No.” You laugh. “I don’t have any cravings yet, but we should go to the store and get some of the vitamins on this list. I don’t have any of this stuff at home.”

“Alright.” He puts his hand on your thigh as he drives off. “I’m trying not to be too excited because I know things could…not go the way we plan, but-“

“I think it’s okay to be excited. We shouldn’t worry about something that could easily not happen. We just need to be careful.”

“Shit, I should’ve asked her if it was okay to have sex or not right now.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Harry.”

“Six weeks ago, what was six weeks ago?” He furrows his brows. “That was definitely the night in your office, it had to have been.”

“What does it matter?” You laugh.

“I’d just like to know so when I’m old and grey and have to give some type of speech I can embarrass the kid and say they were conceived on mummy’s office floor.”

“Harry.” You pinch your nose. “If you ever-“

“Relax, I’m only kidding.”

“I don’t think you are.”

“Half kidding.” He grins.

//

After that, Harry started taking your picture every week. He’d have you stand in front of a blank wall with your shirt up in the same clothes so you could look back and see the progress.

“When you get to be farther along we should do a maternity shoot. I can set something nice up down here for you so you won’t have to climb the stairs.”

“That would be really nice.”

Before you’re able to roll your shirt down he comes over to you and kneels. He kisses on your lower stomach and hugs you before standing up.

“Was it sad taking all your piercings out?”

“A little…I can always have them put back in if I want later. I’m kind of glad I took the nipple ones, my boobs have been so tender.” You go into the kitchen to fill up your water bottle.

“My poor baby, I wish I could like absorb all your discomfort.” He pouts.

“I know, and I appreciate that.”

“What size is it this week?”

“Let’s consult the app. At twelve weeks, it’s the size of a passion fruit.” You smirk as you show him the picture.

“Oh wow! That’s kind of big.”

“Still just a fetus though, it’s not really a baby yet.”

“Can you believe the end of this week will be the end of your first trimester?”

“I’m so happy, I’m sick of throwing up all the time. I was talking with Eleanor and she said her second trimester was much better. I’m sorry I haven’t really been in the mood lately.” You wrap your arms around his waist.

“It’s okay, I understand.” He kisses your forehead. “Have you heard back from the school yet?”

“They said they’d be contacting me soon for a second interview.” You smile. “I’m really excited.”

“They know you’re pregnant?”

“Just Dr. Harrison. She said it’s not something I need to disclose yet.”

“I can’t believe Niall’s leaving Mark It soon too.”

“I know.” You frown. “I’m really going to miss him, but it’s what’s for the best. The startup that approached him is such a good opportunity for him, and he’ll be the director of their marketing department. It’s what he deserves. His last day is in two weeks.”

“That’s so wild, I remember when he started working there. He’s got like two years on you?”

“Mhm.”

“Harry, this really pretty girl started workin’ with me. She’s really funny too!” He says in Niall’s accent.

“Would you stop?” You laugh and nudge your husband. “It was platonic love at first sight.” You giggle.

Harry makes you both some dinner and you decide to eat on the sofa. You get a call from Seth.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I asked Isaac to marry me, and he said yes!”

“What?!” You spit out the food in your mouth. “That’s amazing! How did you do it?!” You put the phone on speaker. “Hold on, I have you on speaker, Harry’s here too.”

“Okay, so I took him out for a walk to our favorite park near our place. You know the one.”

“I do.”

“And I just got down on one knee and asked him. He cried, I cried. It was really nice.”

“I’m so happy for the both of you!”

“Me too, mate, that’s amazing!” Harry exclaims.

“Harry?!” You both laugh when you hear Isaac’s voice.

“Congratulations!” You both say at the same time.

“Can I have the phone back, sorry, he’s very excited.” Seth laughs. “Rightfully so, I’m a great catch after all.”

“Remind me to vomit later.” You roll your eyes.

“Anyways, we’ve been talking about it for a while. We both wanna just do the courthouse thing, we don’t want a big ceremony, but we’ll definitely have a party to celebrate.”

“Wouldn’t be you if you didn’t have a party.”

“Exactly. We’re making the rounds calling everyone. We’ll keep you up to date on everything.”

“Sounds good! Congrats again!” You hang up the phone.

“Okay, Rachel and Mariah are next for sure.” Harry says.

“I’m so happy for them. Oh my goodness! Sarah and Niall set a date too, did he tell you?”

“What?! No! When?”

“Next fall! October 20th I think. He just told me today.”

“If he didn’t already know about the baby, I’d say let’s keep the news from him the longest.” He rolls his eyes.

“Speaking of that…why not invite our friends over soon for a little lunch so we can tell them the good news. I know we’re going to my mum’s this Sunday to tell her and my siblings. And then we’ll FaceTime your mum and Gemma. We need to call Nannie too.”

“I think havin’ the crew over is a great idea.” He kisses your temple and leans back into the couch.

//

Your mother cried when you told her you were pregnant. Your siblings were all really happy for you. It turns out Erica had also been keeping her pregnancy to herself and was 15-weeks along. It was a really nice day with family. You stopped off at your dad’s house as well, and he was thrilled to hear the news. When you got home you FaceTimed with Anne and Gemma. Anne was trying not to sob as she was absolutely overjoyed.

Your Nannie cried on the phone as well. She couldn’t believe two of her granddaughters were having babies at the same time. You were able to celebrate so many things with your friends when they came over. Niall’s last day at Mark It and his first day at his new job, Isaac and Seth’s recent engagement, and Rachel and Mariah officially passing in adoption forms with an agency.

“Okay, so I know you’re all here and it feels like we’re here for a ton of different reasons…” You start. “Harry, is the FaceTime set up?”

“Mhm, Lou and El are here.”

“Hi guys!” Louis exclaims from the phone.

“Great, well…” You turn to the side and rub your lower stomach.

Rachel and Sarah gasp and squeal and rush to you to hug you.

“Oh my goodness! How far along are you? You literally can’t tell.” Sarah says.

“Thirteen weeks, I’m officially in my second trimester.”

“That’s amazing!” Rachel wipes a few tears away. “I can’t believe it.” She hugs you again. “You’re gonna be such a great mom.”

“I can’t wait to be an auntie.” Sarah says. “For the both of you of course. Still keeping my fingers crossed for the two of you with this agency.”

“Thanks.” Mariah says. She gives Harry a hug and kiss. “Congrats, I’m so happy for the both of you.”

“Seriously, it’s amazing.” Seth says. He gives you a hug next. “This kid is gonna be so loved.”

“Do you think Buster will get jealous?” Isaac jokes.

“If he’s anything like his father, which we all know he is, then yes.” Niall says.

“Oi! I’m not that clingy.”

Everyone laughs including Louis and Eleanor from the phone. You were happy everyone was finally in the know. Your doctor’s appointments were going really well. Everything was good.

//

“Harry.” You whisper in the middle of the night. “Baby.” You nudge him and he groans. “Honey, please, I need you.” His eyes flutter open. He got slightly excited because he thought maybe your hormones were making you a little needy.

“What’s up?”

“Could you go to the corner store, the 24-hour one? I really need a slim-Jim.”

“Y/N, you don’t eat meat.”

“I know, but I really need a slim-Jim. I can’t get it out of my head. Please? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I can’t sleep.” You pout.

“Alright.” He yawns and sits up. “Anything else you need?”

“No, just a slim-Jim.” You smile. “You’re amazing, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Harry slips out to head to the corner store. You sit up in anticipation. This was one of the first real cravings you had. You weren’t sure what it was, you just needed the disgusting, processed meat. He returns with it shortly and you devour it.

“Oh my god, thank you. That really hit the spot.”

“Probably shouldn’t eat those all the time. Maybe that vegan bacon we have could suffice.” He says as he climbs back into bed. “Sure that’s all yeh needed?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason.”

He was desperate for you. He loved the way your body was making slight changes. But he didn’t want you to feel pressured because he was the reason your body was changing.

The next day you had your second interview at the university. The faculty were really impressed with you. They told you a final decision would be made soon and you’d hear from them either way. You were extremely excited. Work had gotten boring without Niall. You two would text each other throughout the day, and you’d even FaceTime a couple times a week during lunch breaks.

As the days got shorter and colder, you found yourself feeling needy for cuddles. You either had Buster with you every second, or you had Harry’s arms around you. You still hadn’t quite gotten your sex drive back. You wanted to offer to blow him, but even that you, for the first time since you’ve known him, just couldn’t bring yourself to do. You felt terrible.

“I have to work late tonight, honey.” He says on the phone. “I’ve got an evening shoot for a family.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll grab myself something for dinner.”

“When do you think you’ll be home?”

“Maybe around nine? I’m not sure. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know you need to do what you need to do.”

You found yourself turning in earlier to bed as you noticed yourself getting more tired easily. You tried reading to tire your eyes out, but you felt something in the pit of your stomach that just wouldn’t go away. You look over and see the bare spot next to you and sigh. You wanted Harry. Oh shit, you really wanted Harry.

“Fuck.” You groan and get up.

You go into the closet and pull down your special box. You sigh when you grab your little bullet vibrator. You couldn’t even remember the last time you used it. You wiggle your pajama pants off and get back on the bed. You touch yourself with your hand first before turning the device on.

Harry was just coming in from his session, getting home a tad earlier than he expected. He even picked up a new jar of pickles to put in the fridge for you. As he walked down the hall to the bedroom he heard soft whimpers.

“What the…” He says to himself as he opens the door. His eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees you.

“Harry!” You throw the vibrator somewhere else on the bed out of embarrassment.

“Sorry!” He nearly walks out of the room and then shakes his head at himself. “Wait a second, why am I leaving?” He asks himself more so than you. You reach for the bullet and turn it off. “So…has this been what you’ve been doing?” He sits on the edge of the bed. “Instead of with me?”

“What?! No! This is the first time I’ve even wanted to…and you weren’t home, and well…” Your cheeks were beat red. “I’m sorry, ugh, I’m so embarrassed.” You hide your face in your hands, but he pulls them away.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, it’s okay. What made you want to use it?”

“I don’t know, I was missing you, and then I realized how much I was really missing you, and I just wanted you. And the damn thing wasn’t even doing it for me anyways.” You pout.

“Well, I’m here now.” He perks up. “You still in the mood?”

“Very much so. I’m sorry things have been so stagnant between us these last couple of months. I’ve just felt gross and nauseous and all of the above. I’ve wanted to do things for you, but-“

“It’s alright, I really understand. When El was pregnant with Eliza May, Louis sort of told me this might happen. I was prepared for it. I know it really doesn’t have much to do with me.”

“It really doesn’t, but I think I’m over that hump now. I love you so much, I hope you know that.”

“I do, and I love you too. You’re sacrificing a lot to grow this little one.” He gives your lower belly a little pat. He stands up and undresses down to his boxers, and gets your shirt off so you’re completely naked.

“I feel bad, you just got home. Did you eat and all that?”

“I did. Don’t worry, there’s really nothing else I’d rather be doing than lovin’ on my wife.”

He gets back on the bed and kisses you. It’s a slow kiss, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, licking into your mouth. Doing all the things he knows you like. Even though you didn’t love all of the changes your body was making, Harry still, somehow, made you feel beautiful and sexy. He kisses down your chest, and plants nice wet kisses down your belly. His head gets between your legs and he gets to work.

You feel him groan against you as he licks into for the first time in ages.

“Got this wet thinkin’ of me?” He smirks and you push his head back down.

“Get over yourself, will you?” You laugh. “And yes, I did.” His tongue explores your folds before sucking on your clit. “Oh fuck, oh my god.” Your hands grip at his hair, and your legs start to shake. It didn’t take him long since you were already wound up. “Shit.” You breathe as he gets himself settled against the headboard.

“Come here, baby girl.”

You straddle his lap, and line yourself up with his hard dick, his boxers now long gone. You slowly sink down on him and moan out loudly when he bottoms out.

“Feel okay?” He grunts, desperately hoping he doesn’t come too soon.

“Feels amazing.” Your slot your mouth over his as you move up and down on him. You couldn’t get enough of him right now. All your senses were heightened.

“Y/N.” He moans as he thrusts up into you.

“Harry.” You moan back.

His hands grip your ass to help you move faster on him. You cling to his shoulders to give him full control of the pace. You both had the bed shaking as you took him so well.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” You throw your head back as you release again, his come spurting up inside you at the same time. “Holy shit.” You press your forehead to his shoulder as he catches his breath. “I’m so sorry.” You kiss him. “How awful of me to make you wait like that.” You kiss him again. “Never again.” You kiss him a third time.

“Babe, babe! It’s okay.” He chuckles. “I’ve missed yeh like crazy, but don’t feel bad, alright?”

“You’re so amazing, I’m…I just love you.” You start tearing up. Another side effect of being pregnant. You cried all the time. He holds you close and rubs your back.

“I love you too.” He coos. “Come on, I bought you a fresh jar of pickles.”

“You did?!” You slide off of him and get your feet on the floor.

“Mhm.”

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

//

Things with you and Harry had gotten really got and heavy during your second trimester. You had even gotten to a point of sexting him at work. You just couldn’t help it. You had never wanted him so badly before. And he was always right there, ready to give it to you. You both would often only wear underwear around your apartment to have easier access.

Just as you were getting home one night, you got the call you had been waiting for.

“Dr. Harrison, great hear from you!” You get upstairs and into your living room.

“Hi, Y/N! How have you been feeling?”

“Much better, thanks. The nausea has definitely stopped.”

“Glad to hear it. The search committee has made a decision.” You take a deep breath, knowing this phone call could go one of two ways. “And we’d like to offer you the position.”

“Oh my god! Are you serious?! That’s amazing!”

“I’m glad to hear you’re excited.” She chuckles.

“I’ll just need to chat things over with my husband. I know he’ll be just as excited.”

“Great! Do you think we could schedule a meeting for Friday? There are a lot of things we’ll need to go over, especially with HR since you may not end up teaching in the fall. Luckily, you’ll have the entire winter break to prep up for the courses we’ll need you for this spring.”

“Yeah! Uh, what time Friday? I could probably leave work around three, and get to campus for like 3:30 if that works for you.”

“I’m open!”

“Wonderful, thank you so much. I’m very excited.”

You hang up the phone and squeal. Just as you’re celebrating with yourself, Harry walks in with Buster. He rushes over to you excitedly. You run over to Harry and give him a big hug and kiss.

“Guess who just got offered the job of being a junior faculty member?!”

“Shut up, are you serious?!”

“I am! I have a meeting with Dr. Harrison Friday to go over a ton of things. And I’ll have the entire winter break to prep up for the classes I’ll be teaching. I’ll be able to negotiate my salary too, they know what I’m expecting, and I won’t take anything less. We have a baby on the way after all.” You rub your hands over your lower belly where the cutest bump was finally starting to form.

“I’m so fucking happy for you. This is amazing! We should celebrate.”

“We can this weekend. Let me get everything finalized first. But…I know another way we can celebrate right now.” You wrap your arms around his neck.

“I really like this whole thing of you not gettin’ your period for nine months. It’s nice to just do it whenever.” He kisses you.

“I was looking up some safe positions we can try too.”

“Oh really?”

“Mhm.” You wink at him and you both shuffle down to the bedroom.

You were amazed at Harry’s stamina. He was never too tired to fuck you when you asked. Sometimes you wouldn’t even need to ask, he could just tell you wanted it sometimes, like he could smell it on you. He truthfully couldn’t get enough of you, and he was happy that you seemed to be back in the groove of feeling the same way.

He loved going to work with fresh scratch marks or love bites. He’d love when you’d send him a risky text in the middle of the day. The second trimester was treating him very well.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Missin’ You is Terrible- Part 2: Thinkin’ ‘Bout You

Calum isn’t looking for deep feelings, just for some fun. But he’s pretty sure friends with benefits isn’t supposed to go like this. Black!Female Reader. 

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_________________________

Get ready to miss me. 

Her handwriting is sloppy, but still readable. Calum finds the note tucked into his journal. It rests right on top of an envelope. How in the world he managed to miss that this morning when he was packing his bad, he’s not sure. Calum picks up the white paper. Something slides from one end of the envelope to the next. It’s small and rectangular. What in the world? he thinks to himself. He parts the folds and sees something baby blue, a piece of paper--a note. And a small black flashdrive. His breath catches in his throat. 

It’s not what he thinks. No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t do that. With a slight shake in his fingers, Calum pulls out the note. For Private Eyes-- is all that’s written in all caps. He scans the note again before noting a tiny arrow underneath the ‘S’. He follows it all the way down and sees in much tinier handwriting, They are watching you. 

He chuckles. Of course, of fucking course, she’d make a reference to the song in such a serious moment. Was serious even the right word to use here? He isn’t sure, but his heart beat is so rapid he can feel it thumping beneath his skin. Swallow hard, Calum plays with the flashdrive, lets his ears and brain drift down the soundwaves of David Bowie, armpits sweating about what’s on this black drive. He cannot wait for this flight to end. 

When his phone chimes mid afternoon the next day, he’s in the middle of signing posters. The second his plane landed, he managed to grab a couple hours of sleep before being rushed off to the venue. The show that night was great and the guys got up to their usual shenanigans. By the time he had a moment to himself, all he wanted to do was crash. Now he sits, working through the stack of posters in front of him. Calum scribbles his signature across the poster before capping the marker. New iMessage- A-1. Throwing a glance over his shoulders, he unlocks the message. Tell me you’ve stolen a moment alone to check what’s on that flashdrive.

Calum’s hands start to tremble. He doesn’t even want to think about what’s on that USB. He can’t even fathom what sorts of alluring and drool inducing concoctions she’s uploaded up there. He stands from the floor, a soft grunt falling off his lips. His lower back and shoulders have been killing him the last day and a half, and he knows it’s because of his visit to her. He can’t sleep hardly at night anymore. His body is dead beat tired, but his brain keeps drifting to the smell of her bonnet in his nose, to the feel of her curled up into his side. He misses her more than he usually does. 

But right now, at the mention of that fucking drive hooked to his keys, his desire just have her close is replaced with a desire to devour her, to make her see stars, to utterly destroy her for making him like this. To give her a taste of her own medicine. The ringing hits his ear as he pulls the phone closer. The hallways to the venue seem to be bustling. They had soundcheck already, but it seemed like people and crew were always doing something, always on some sort of task. “You could’ve just texted me,” she laughs answering the phone call.

Calum exhales, nearly caving at the sound of her voice. But no, he’s going to give her a taste of her own medicine. She’s always the one pulling his strings, always the one to make him into putty. She’s going to have to suffer. “Patience, babycakes. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that it’s a virtue?”

Her exhale is shaky, crackling through the phone. “That’s quite cruel. I put so much hard work into that surprise for you,” her voice lowers to a whiny whisper. “Months. So many pictures. Videos,” she draws out the word. “All your favorite sets. Know how long it took me to find a baby blue set?”

“Stop,” Calum breathes. He doesn’t want to beg. He can feel the whine trying to claw its way over his throat. He can’t. She can’t win this time. 

“You’re strong when you want to be,” she offers, voice returning to its normal volume and tone. “But only when you want to be,” she adds under her breathe. 

He hears. She knows he did. Calum straightens against the cold concrete wall. “Babycakes, you’re going to regret that.” He’s going to make sure of it. They have two more shows before the North American leg ends. He’ll sweat her out for those two days. “You’re not allowed to touch yourself until I say so.”

“Who died and made you king?”

“Let me spell it out. I have two more shows before this leg ends. How long is the drive to my place from yours? Wouldn’t you like to see Duke? Spend a couple days with me, say hi to the boys?” Calum’s purposefully neglecting details, purposefully not mentioning sex. This is her reality if she misbehaves, if she doesn’t heed his words. But that sounds heavenly as he describes it. Does it sounds just as appealing to her as it does to him? He prayed it did. Part of him wanted her to misbehave. Wanted her to crack as some kind of twisted test to see if listened to his confession. 

It seemed like she did. She got teary-eyed and he held her. Just held her, soothing her with soft murmurs and kisses to her forehead. He didn’t know what to say. Was there anything to say at that point? He wasn’t sure, and isn’t sure even now. She never said anything. How could he respond if she never spoke to him verbally. But then again she was never one for words. She spoke in actions. Like the next morning, she made him his favorite pancakes and she surprised him with muffins from a local bakery. Would she speak with actions again this time? Would she show him where she stood this time around?

“I’ll play this game,” she answers, consenting to the rules. They play these games. They make these rules, but rarely. Calum smiles at the phrase. “But when at the end of this, after I’ve obeyed like a good girl, can you do something for me?”

“What do you propose?”

“You’ll know when I ask for it.”

Calum drops his head to the wall, not hard enough to hurt him. He has to fight every once of him to fight the fucking groan trying to burst through his chest. She’s devious. She could ask for anything. She could ask to Dom. She could ask him to jump off a bridge and Calum would have to agree if he says yes now. He highly doubted she would ask him to do such a thing. But agree without specifics was a hairy situation to be in. But she needs a reward, something to look forward to that’s just for her at the end of this. Her obeying his rule, her being a good girl is for him, so he can watch her crack and melt to the smallest of his touches. He loves it. But she needs something on the other end of the deal that satisfies her Dom side, something that gives her an upper hand, even if it’s just temporary. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Calum nods. “I’ll play this game,” he says, pushing out all his breathe. 

“Thank you, angel.” Calum can see the sly grin on her face, he can feel her nails ghosting over his skin. The thought makes his body shiver. A groan slips over his lips. “Oh, you’re not going to regret it. Well not that much.”

Oh, she’s not getting to him right now. She’s not pulling this sleight of hands right now. Calum pushes off the wall. “You only get your favor at the end. Don’t get too cocky now.” With that he ends the call. No goodbye, doesn’t let her get something slick in. The more opportunities she has to say something smart, to say something capable of cracking him, the more likely he is to crumble in this resolve. He drops his head back against the wall, exhaling deeply. 

Someone chuckles next to him. He looks to see Ashton and Michael, sticking their heads out of the door. “Looks like someone had a pretty fun phone call,” Michael laughs. 

Calum doesn’t even need to look down to his pants to know what they’re referring to. In defense, Calum flips them off. Ashton speaks, “That Nobody is truly Somebody huh?”

Calum wants to tell them to fuck off, that it’s none of their business. But his neck is a mess of red bruises still. She worked a number on him the afternoon before he had to leave. Not that he minds, but the jokes keep coming. 

“That Nobody is probably a vampire. It’s a miracle that he’s still alive,” Michael states. 

“Alright, get a new joke,” Calum retorts. “You’ve used that one enough.” 

“Did she call to see if you had restocked? Which by the looks of it, you’ve got plenty of blood to spare,” Michael says. 

This one gets Calum, his laughter bursts out of him. “Fuck off,” he chuckles out, walking back into the room. There’s no hiding it, there’s no need to even try. Calum walks back into the dressing room, knowing full well everyone that looks at him can take a guess as to who he was just talking to. No one questions it. Calum knows he ought to be more shameful, more reserved about this. But he’ll give her this. The quiet recognition that there is a somebody even if they never speak her name. He can give her that, and she never has to know. 

__ Calum slides into his bunk that night, exhausted. But he figures before he slips into unconsciousness, he’ll finally take a quick look through her little gift. Calum pulls out his laptop and fishes out the USB. Slotting it into the port, Calum’s heart races. If he was dead tired before, now he’s wide awake. The small icon pops up, the title of the seems innocent enough. He clicks on it and there’s two compressed ZIP files. He clicks on one of it and a small text box pops up, asking for a password. What does he need a password for? She never game him one. 

But he remembers the note. He tries ‘forprivateeyes’ and that doesn’t work. Calum thinks for a second ‘privateeyes’. That doesn’t work. What else was on that note then? Calum reaches into back into his bag and pulls the envelope out. Down in that corner in the smaller handwriting. Calum types into the box, ‘theyarewatchingyou’. The box disappears and suddenly his computer screen is filled with tiny icons. The rich depth of her skin in each one of them. His fingers tremble as he clicks on one at random. The photo that lights up his screen is just of her, sitting in her fluffy grey moon chair. She appears to be bare beneath the white sheet. She gaze is direct to the camera, or maybe it’s a mirror. Probably a mirror, he guesses. She did a rod set, he can tell by the way the curls do more a shirley temple curl than the zig zag pattern of her natural curl pattern. Her head titled just a little, lips glossy, pouty and parted. 

Calum’s inhale is shaky. Holy fuck, holy fucking shit. He closes that one and clicks on another one, a little further down. Calum bites his lips as the picture loads, her a playboy bunny bodysuit. His body is tingling and hot. God, fuck. It did take her months to do all of this. Fuck, holy fuc. Scrambling he finds his phone buried under the blanket of the bunk. He doesn’t even know if she’s up at this hour. But he still tries. He has to see if she’s awake. So she can see what the fuck she’s doing to him. He keeps the volume down low, resting the phone against the screen of laptop. He clicks on another photo. This one is a video. She’s at her desk in her office, lazily sucking on a lollipop. Cherry he figures from the color of the candy. She gives a clear view of the tip of her tongue circling the body of the candy. “Fuck you,” he whispers. 

“But you’re so far away.”

Calum looks down to the phone. She’s sleepily grinning into the camera. Shit. He didn’t mean to interrupt her sleep. “Did I wake you? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she murmurs. “You called for a reason.”

“I finally looked at what’s on that drive. You know you’re such a good girl, right? But so bad at the same time.”

 “It’s my speciality, huh?”

Calum looks back to the screen, she’s pulling the candy from hollowed cheeks. He can hear the lewd pop sound, the slurping follows soon after. Fuck, that does not sound good. He hurriedly turns down the volume, heart thundering, blood pounding in his ears. “You have headphones for a reason!” Luke shouts with a laugh. 

She chuckles. “Wear headphones for all videos in the future.”

Calum sighs. “Thanks for the warning. Now, after the fact.”

She hum, shifting before her face is completely illuminated in the dark of her room by her phone screen. “See, now’s about the time I’d be touching myself. But somebody’s decided to be an asshole.”

A grin lifts Calum’s cheeks. “Be good for him, babycakes. Sleep well.”

“Wait, you’re not just going--” Her sentence dies on her lips. Because he is. He is going to toy with her. “That’s not the only reason why you called. Not just to tell me that you looked.”

“Sweet dreams,” he says. 

A whine falls from her lips. “You’re gonna leave me high and I can’t say necessarily dry, but, just gonna leave me hanging?”

 “I surely am,” Calum smiles, waves into the camera. The call ends, the distinct two beep sound signaling it. 

The next day, the bus empties, leaving Calum alone for just a spare few minutes. So he pulls out his laptop, sliding the USB into the port again. He calls her again on FaceTime. It takes her longer to answer this time. When the call finally connects, Calum smiles, fingers typing in the password. “Have you been good?”

“No.” The word is so definite. She doesn’t make an excuse, she doesn’t hesitate with the word. But he catches the huff at the end of it. It’s not a pouty huff, it’s a breathless huff. He snaps his attention to his phone. Her chest is heaving, but she grins lazily into the camera. 

“Are you--Why?” Calum can’t even get the words out to fully flesh out his disbelief. So blatant, like with no shame. He should be furious, he’s trying to tell myself to be. But it’s not working. All that’s flooding him is desire, it starts in his lower gut, spreading to his chest. His body floods with warmth. A moan falls over her lips, eyes fluttering close. “Show me. Show me how much of a fucking bad girl you’re being,” he whispers. 

The screen shifts. She’s using her laptop, he realizes as the full view of her body comes into view. She situations the laptop between her legs. He watches the point in which her fingers disappear inside of her. He can see the pillows lifting her lower back and hips. She’s at home. She must be writing today. “So you couldn’t wait?” Calum questions, gaze zeroed in on slickness glistening in the reflection of the screen. 

“Hmm, I’m sorry. I couldn’t wait.”

“Clearly, you’re not sorry enough to stop.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you jacking off to those photos,” she sighs, squeezing one of her breasts. “I couldn’t stop thinking about the sounds you make, the way you pull your bottom lip between your teeth. Then I really wanted your fingers inside me. Then I-fuck,” she hisses. Her hips start to rise, heels dig into the mattress. Her fingers have sped up. 

“Stop. You fucking stop right now, or so help me God.”  He doesn’t even recognize his own voice. The amount of authority that spills past his lips makes him scared. 

Her fingers immediately stop, she doesn’t remove them. Just stops, like she was told. “I’m sorry. I-,” she tangles her free hand around the roots of her hair. 

“Tell me why. Why disobey and break the rules. I even gave you a reward at the end.”

It’s silent. She turns her attention to him. She’s assessing him. She’s trying to find the right words. She can write her ass off, she can create beautiful words. But in person, she flails. Calum doesn’t want to have to guess her motives. He wants the fucking truth. He creates an incentive. “I’ll let you cum if you’re honest.”

“I know I wasn’t supposed to touch myself. I know I consented to the rules. But what if instead of seeing you just for sex, I really wanted to just say hi to Duke, and see the other guys, and bake and too late or too fucking early in the morning with you like we used to do. What if I said I was breaking the rules because sex matters much less to me when it comes to me?”

“Well, are you saying it? Why fill that flashdrive?”

“I am saying it. I’m saying that. Why fill the flashdrive? Because I’m always thinkin’ ‘bout you. Literal months spent putting that together. Because literally you consume every thought that’s not about work or writing. Sue me. Fucking sue me for being a human being with fucking feelings. Sue me for trying to suggest that maybe just maybe I might want something more.”

His breath catches in his throat. He doesn’t do relationships. They never work for him. It requires too much trust. The last time he thought he could trust someone it blew up in his face and went viral--not in the way he wanted either. He was a kid, it was an honest mistake. But still when things cut deep, they leave scars. His first reaction is to say things would never work. His first reaction is to fucking run. But hasn’t he already kind of opened this door? Is he actually falling for her? Is this just more than sex? Was it ever really just about sex?

“Well, are you going to say anything?” 

Calum wasn’t even aware of how long his silence had stretched. “I’m a man of my word. You can cum. Be a good girl for me.”

“I know I’m naked right now. But we are passed this game. We are passed a tug of war in who’s Dom right now,” she sighs, pushing the laptop away from her. She disappears from view, but still talks. “I know we’re shit with words and verbally expressing ourselves. But I’d greatly appreciate you opening your fucking mouth for once.”

The door to the bus opens. His security guard waves at him. “C’mon, Cal.”

Shit, of course. Now when he doesn’t need to be interrupted. Her sigh is heavy from the other side of the screen. “Go, I understand.”

Calum exits the folder, ejecting the flashdrive. “I’ll call you back,” he says. “Okay? Give me just a minute to get into the venue and then I’m calling right back.”

“Okay.” It’s not a convincing tone. She’s defeated. Her lips are twisted, her eyes look glassy. Fuck, damn it. 

“I swear. I’ll call the second I’m inside.” All she does is sigh and nod before ending the call. Calum rushes to collect his things, throwing them into his bag. He follows behind the guard, phone still unlocked on her contact name. The second the fans see him, the screams start. He waves. He doesn’t even attempt to smile. The moment his feet touch the inside of the venue his taps on her number again. The call rings once, then twice, three times. She’s not going to answer. Calum bites down on his thumb nail, listening to the ringing. He doesn’t leave a message. 

He calls again a couple hours later, after sound check. Still no answer. She responds to that missed call with a text. Sorry, got an email about a bumped up deadline. 

Calum types a reply. Okay. Good luck. Let me know you’re done so we can talk. Please. 

She sends back a thumbs up emoji. Calum drops the phone into his lap, rubbing his closed eyes with the heel of his palms. She always responds with a text, a phrase, even if it’s just ‘K’. There’s always some sort of text, never just an emoji. He could cry.  Honestly, he might be. There’s that all too distinct sting behind his eyes. Yes, definitely teas. It’s not that he wants to reject his feelings. He’s just frustrated. He can’t believe that he was an idiot. Why didn’t he say anything about his feelings? Why did he think that he could respond like that? “Fuck,” he exclaims.

The entire room jolts at the exclamation. Michael puts his phone down, watching his friend rub his face. Ashton walks over, perching onto the edge of the sofa. “I’m such an fucking idiot,” Calum mutters. 

“What’s up, man?” Ashton asks. 

Calum shakes his head, finally opening his eyes. He peers up to Ashton, the anguish painting his face. Ashton knows, gives a squeeze to Calum’s shoulder. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

“You said that already.”

“I just really fucked up. And I can’t tell if she’s blowing me off, or she’s actually busy now and can’t talk. She’s never responded to a message with just an emoji. Never, ever.”

“Give her the rest of the day. See if she responds with something else.” Calum nods. Maybe she just needs time. 

The entire show, Calum’s too focused on if she’s called, if she’s left a message. She knows he’d be on stage at this point. If she really wanted to talk, she wouldn’t call when he couldn’t answer. He misses a note and nearly wants to kick his own ass. Just stop thinking about her for thirty seconds, he reprimands. When the show ends, Calum hates himself. He played terrible. He managed towards the end of the show to put aside his thoughts for the most part. But by that point, it feels too late to correct it, to make it better. 

He stands from his final bow, steps backwards and immediately thinks about drowning his anger in a pint. Or two, maybe more. His phone is empty of messages from her. Not a text or a call. He figured as such. As the night nears morning, there’s still nothing from her. Calum curls up in his bunk, clutching his phone. He doesn’t care if her call comes at 7 in the morning. It won’t matter what time as long as it comes. 

__

To see Duke is just the distraction that Calum needs. She still hasn’t called. It’s only been a day and a half. He’d be less concerned, if not for the fact of his fucking idiotic mistake. He hasn’t called since his text, he’s afraid to interrupting her. But now it’s eating him alive. He reclines in his outdoor seating, rubbing Duke’s stomach. “Should I call her bub?” he asks the small dog. 

Duke turns his head to Calum. He doesn’t say anything, just pants a little happy to have Calum back. Calum unlocks his phone and hovers over her name. He should call her. Even if she doesn’t answer, he’ll leave a voicemail. He’ll apologize. There’s a chance she doesn’t listen right away. But he has to do something. He taps it and presses the phone icon. Bringing the phone to his ear, he listens to the ringing, heart pounding against his ribs. It rings for a fourth time and he’s about to give up when the call connects. “So, I’m still on deadline and I’m still pretty pissed. But I figured I should finally answer,” she says. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve actually responded to your confession. I should’ve said literally anything other than what I did. I’m so so sorry.”

“Could’ve said that in a text.”

“Would you even have read it?”

She chuckles. “Probably not right away.”

“How much more do you have to do? What’s the new deadline? I want to have a proper conversation but I don’t want to intrude on your time.”

“Tonight. I still have a fourth of this chapter and then three more. I haven’t slept more than four, five hours total. I’m running on pure caffeine, right now.” Her sigh is heavy through the phone.

“Get some rest, okay? I’ll call tomorrow morning.”

“I’m still mad at you,” her voice is soft. 

“You could curse me out. But I’m going to talk to you. I’m going to apologize properly, again.”

“I’ll answer,” she whispers. Calum ends the call, biting his lip. This is good. She answered. As Calum watches out, taking in the lush grass, recording cute clips of Duke, he starts planning how early to get up. He’s got more than one way to apologize to her.

__

“How can I help you?” the young girl says from behind the glassy display case. 

Calum eyes the donuts, but also keeps an eye on Duke. He sits quietly, watching all the other patrons of the bakery. “Half a dozen variety pack. Though I might be back later,” he chuckles, thinking how much she loves this family owned donut shop. 

The girl nods, grabbing the box and lining it with a wax sheet. “It’s a blessing and a curse to work here,” she jokes. “I highly suggest the lemon filled.”

“Throw two of those in there, yeah. Two red velvets.” Those are her favorite. He cannot show up to her door without those in the pink box. He pauses, looking over the rest of the options. “And two classic glazed too.”

“Great choices.”

It’s about ten when he knocks on her door. If it weren’t for the donuts in his passenger seat, Calum is sure that it would’ve taken him nearly an extra hour to knock. He said call, not roll up at her door with donuts. But he did also have Duke, so maybe that would make up for it as well. Just as he drops his hand, the door opens. He expected her to roll out of bed, drag herself to the front door. But no, she’s in athletic shorts and an one of his t-shirts tucked into them. It’s his Drop Dead one, the ones with holes in it. Her hair picked out in a fro around her head. She’s even got lipgloss on. Fuck. He wonders for a moment if it’s the one that’s slightly scented like vanilla. 

“I thought you said you were going to call,” she chuckles, holding the door open with her body. 

Calum shrugs. “So maybe I’m bad about my word sometimes.” He lifts the box of donuts. “But I brought breakfast, or maybe a mid-morning snack. It looks like you’ve been up for a while.”

She waves him inside, crouching to pick up Duke, who happily climbs into her arms.  She giggles. “Yes, it’s scented lip gloss Duke. No, you can’t have any. I’m so sorry bud.” Calum places the box onto her dining room table. He spies the Swiffer mop and knows she was in the middle of cleaning, so slides out of his shoes, putting them on the guest shoe rack.He stands for a moment. Can he act like he normally does? Go straight in for a donut and kick his feet up on the coffee table? No, he should probably talk to her first. 

“I’m going to chop your head off. Relax.”

Calum plays at the rings on his fingers. He’s not really sure why he put them on. Well, no, that’s a lie. He knows why he put them on, because he knows how much she loves them. He wanted to show he was thinking about her too. Another reason why he got the donuts too. Calum nods, looking to the ground for a second. “So, if I say I’m a fucking idiot and I’m very sorry again is it overkill?”

She slips the harness off Duke, shaking her head. “No. It’s not overkill. Some might call it just a kill. I’m sorry for ghosting. I should’ve called or something.” She slumps in front of her couch, put Duke up on the couch cushions. Calum grabs the box of donuts and some napkins. He settles down directly across from her in front of the coffee table. She flips the lip, grabbing a red velvet with her fingers. 

“You’re disgusting,” Calum teases. 

“You’ve kissed me with your own cum in my mouth. Let’s not talk about gross right now.”

He rolls his eyes, though he shifts a little. “We’re not talking about that right now.” But there’s a lot more they’re also not talking about either. Like, is Calum ready to jump into the deep end. Is he truly gonna let himself call this love? Is he going to call this a desire to be with someone that’s not strictly sexual? Is he going to actually “do” feelings right now? But fuck, does he like pondering the universe with her. He likes watching her play with Duke, he’s got too many videos of them curled up together on his phone. 

“It’s been hard to sleep at night,” Calum utters. She pauses, part of her bite still hanging out of her mouth. “Without you,” he continues. “Like, I either don’t sleep peacefully at all. Or I sleep in this really tight ball and I wake up with sore muscles. There’s something about the floral scent to your hair products, something about your body heat next to me. And like, pondering the universe alone fucking sucks. I much rather hear you debate me on every sentence than have my brain loop the same paranoid thought a thousand times. And I’ve very unfortunately forgotten your family recipe to snickerdoodle cookies and I’m sad about that because they’re the greatest cookies ever. And what I’m really trying to say is that I have feelings for you. And not just the ‘I-want-to-fuck-her-senseless’ kind. It’s more of the ‘I-want-to-watch-her-edit-at-the-kitchen-table-massage-her-shoulders-and-then-fuck-her-senseless-on-it’ feelings’ kind of feelings. And I’m so sorry I didn’t say that before. I-- me and verbal communication aren’t the best of friends.”

She nods. “I know that much. We aren’t great friends either. I guess my question is, do we want to act on those feelings? Like I know I’d like to, but Mr. Doesn’t Do Relationships across from me might say otherwise.”

“I do. I want to act on these feelings. I’m not promising that I’m going to the best. I’m not promising that I’m such knight in shining armor. But I am promising to try. It’s honestly all I’ve got.”

Licking some of the icing from her fingers, she taps against the wooden structure beneath her fingers. “So, like, what now?” she laughs. 

Calum shrugs with chuckle. “The hell if I know.” 

“I gotta finish mopping the kitchen, so I’m going to go do that and then we can figure out what the hell happens from here.” Calum nods, watching her push up from the floor. As she passes, he reaches out for her, fingers brushing over her calves. She nudges his leg with her foot. He over dramatizes the effect and falls back onto the hardwood flooring. 

Her chuckle is soft, “Idiot. It wasn’t even that hard.” Before she can walk away, Calum grabs onto her ankle. He know she has responsibility. But the kitchen floor isn’t going to up and run. “Yes, Calum?”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“No, you fucking bought me red velvet donuts. I’d be a fool to still be mad at you.”

“Does that then mean that I can get a kiss?”

She watches the way his lips quirk into a smirk. He’s going to ask for a lot more. He says kiss, but she second squats down to peck his lips, his hands are going to find her hips. If his hands find her hips, they’ll find her waist. Then her breast, her throat, every inch of her skin. “Just a kiss,” she warns. 

The warning falls on deaf ears. As she lowers down, Calum catches her waist, pulling her in close. Don’t swing your legs over his waist, she warns herself. That’s the deadly move, that’s the nail in her coffin. As their lips pull apart, Calum gives another tug. Her knee hits his side. “I gotta mop,” she defends. Yes, mop. That’s going to spare her just minutes. 

“It can wait. I’m thinking about that playboy bunny suit right now and I really hope your coffee table is sturdy.”

She straddles him, holding his face gently in her hands.This is it, she’s completely lost any ounce of being in her right mind. He smells so much like Gain, stale cigarettes and coffee. He smells like home to her. She doesn’t give a fuck about that kitchen floor now. “Coffee table’s too short.” They gaze at each other. Dark brown melting into each other. He reaches up and brushes over her face with the back of his knuckles. She’s real, and his. Fuck, the phrase feels strange in his mind. Would it sound just as strange? Would it feel awkward leaving hips?

“You’re like, actually mine,” he whispers, his lips lift into a smile. No, it’s definitely not awkward. It feels right. But still strange, still not firmly in his grasp.

“I’m yours,” she laughs, kissing him. His fingers dig into her side. She’s soft beneath his fingers, she’s warm, she’s his. Her hips grind down on his crotch, covered thinly in the mesh of his basketball shorts. He groans into her mouth. She tastes differently now, he thinks, even behind the sweetness of her donut. She still tastes, smells like what he always knew, but it feels new on his tongue, in his nose. It feels news and exciting somehow. 

Calum slips his hands under the cotton of her, his, t-shirt and she moans into his mouth. The rings probably cold to her. Balling the cotton into his fist he pulls up. She breaks their kiss, pulling the shirt completely off her body. A lacy black bralette covers her brown chest. He runs the pads of his fingers over her skin, dancing them over the swell off her breasts. She drops her head back, pressing hard down into his crotch again. “Hmm,” she whines. 

“I know you call me an angel. But right now, you’re the one god sent,” he whispers to her, squeezing her breast beneath the thin material. He drags his second hand down her stomach, pressing his palm deep into her flesh. 

Her head falls forward, a smile resting on her face. She crawls her nails up his skin, trailing up his ribs beneath the black hoodie adorning his body. She pushes the material up, exposing his skin to the cool air. Her lips are soft as the barely touch his body. “Ah,” he groans, tensing at the small bites she trails up his skin. She pushes until the hoodie is up and over his head. Calum sits up, pulling them chest to chest. 

She rests her head onto his shoulder as his fingers run down her spine, playing at the hooks. Her cheek is so close to his silver fern. His reminder of a home he’s never been. She wants to take them there. She wants to watch his face light up when he lands and gets to spend proper time with his family. Not rushed backstage, not told at the holidays. But proper time. She kisses the tattoo softly several times. Calum tilts his head a little, letting her take her time with his body. “I’m gonna take you home of these days,” she whispers in his ear, gently nibbling at his ear. 

He chuckles. “It’s two hours without bad traffic.”

“No,” she presses a hand to the tattoo. “I’m going to take you home. Here,” she says tapping the black ink. 

“I am in a home,” he returns. “Right here with you in my arms.”

“A home, but not home. I know Sydney will always be your home, the place you’ll ultimately go back to. But, roots, I want to take you to your roots.”

He can’t say no to that. He’s always wanted to go. He’s just never allowed himself to dream it a possibility. He always has something else to do. He’s always putting something else in front of it. He can’t put something else in front of her though. She’s going to be his reason to finally think of himself. “Okay, Ms. Big Shot. Sweep me off my fucking feet.”

She kisses him, laughter still bubbling from her lips. “I’m not that strong. But I’ll surely try.”

Calum undoes the hooks to her bralette, staring directly into her eyes as he pushes the lace away from her skin. “A small wise old alien once said, ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’”

She slaps his chest. “Do not quote Yoda to me with your dick hard.”

He laughs, biting the end of her nose before placing a kiss to it. “Fine. No more Yoda quotes in the bedroom. But since this isn’t the bedroom.”

She covers his mouth, trying to stare at him with fire in her eyes. But all that’s there is love, is her laughter, is a softness for him. “I swear to God, Angel, I will walk away right now.”

Calum sighs, but nods, signalling his agreement to not quote anymore Star Wars. He wraps his arms around her waist as she slowly pulls her hand away. Calum waits. She’ll give in too soon. She’ll believe in his agreement. Right as she relaxes into his embrace, he squeezes her into a hug. “Feel the Force.”

“I fucking hate you, Cal! Oh my god, I do.” She laughs, attempting to wrestle from his grasp. He peppers her face and neck in loud, wet kisses, punctuating each one with a “muah” sound effect. She knows she can’t win. Not in a game of pure strength, so she gets a good handful of hair into her hands and pulls. Calum immediately ceases with playful kisses a whimper falling over his throat. His grip slackens and he lets her pull his head up.She pushes away from him, settling onto the edge of the coffee table. 

“Don’t laugh,” she warns.

Why would he laugh? All he can think about is the pleasure swimming in his veins. She peels her shorts away to reveal Wonder Woman underwear. “If you think those panties are gonna ruin this mood, you have got me all wrong.” Calum pushes shorts and underwear off, wiggling his fingers for her to crawl back onto his lap. 

“My knees are already gonna be mad at me,” she teases, running her fingers over his length. It’s been way too long. Her mouth is already watering at the sight of him, mind already reminding her what he taste like. She stands, holding out her hands. Calum stands with her assistance before she’s pushing him into the wall. 

“Shouldn’t you be the one against the wall?” he teases, but his laughter dies in his throat when she sinks to her knees. Her hands wrap around him with no apprehension and tug up. 

“Hands behind your back please?”

Widening his stance a bit, Calum holds his hands behind his back, bracing into the wall. Her tongue and lips slips over with ease. There’s the initial moment of tensing before he relaxes into the sucking, slurping, tugging of her mouth and hands. She swirls around his length with the top of her tongue, flicking at head before sucking his back down her throat. “Fuck,” he hisses at the feeling of him hitting the back of her throat. She gags around him and pulls back for a moment. 

His toes are curling. His hands are fists, have been for what feels like hours now, but knows are only minutes. She slurps some of the excess salvia, but the vibration sends a current through Calum’s body. “God-fuck, baby,” he whines, watching her. He wants nothing more than to grab a fistful of her hair, wipe the tears falling down her cheeks. “Oh, please, can I touch you?” his voice is just a pant. 

He gets no answer. She just wants to bring him over the edge, just wants to hear the groan ripping over his throat. She’ll stop at nothing to hear it. Her hand pulls faster, her bobs become more swallow. But her pace is relentless. Calum feels like he’s chipping paint off her wails, but how hard he’s scratching to keep his hands in place. His hips rut into her mouth once, then a second time. He’s gonna come down her throat. Tearing his hands from behind his back, he grabs both sides of her face, stilling her. He gives another rut of his hips, hitting the back of throat. She gags around him and the sudden squeeze is all he needs. His groan tears over his throat. Calum drops his head into the wall, emptying himself into her. His vision stars for a moment until her nails dig into his thighs. Then he hisses from the pleasurable pain. 

His breathe still gone, he brings his gaze back down to her, she’s got tears down her face. He pulls out of her mouth and she coughs. “Sorry,” he whispers, pulling her up. “I’m sorry.” Calum wipes her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, allowing her time to catch her breathe. Once he’s sure she’s breathing steadily, he pulls her in. He knows what he taste until on her tongue. But he just needs her close. Their kiss is soft. Arms wrapped around his neck, their bodies press close other. Calum lets his hands wander, sliding between her legs. She’s soaked, so much so, he slides in one finger giving test pumps before deciding he can easily insert a second. 

She shudders against him, back bowing a little. Calum wraps his left arm around her, hoisting her into a studier position. “Come around my fingers, yeah, babycakes?”

Her words die in her throat as he pumps faster. Watching her, mouth hanging opening, the tiny sounds and moans falling over her lips, she reminds him of a painting come to life--nothing more perfect to him. Her latch around his neck tightens, her head dropping to his chest. He continues to push his fingers in and out of her curling up into the fleshy part of her. “Hmm, God,” she cries.

“That’s right,” he whispers into her ear. He drags his lips over her skin, kissing the parts he can reach, bending to nip at her collarbones. 

“Calum,” she hums, her legs start to shake. She can’t stand hardly. She’s not going to be able to stand by herself, she thinks. The wave of orgasm crashes over her, hits her all at once. “God,” she shouts, voice straining and eventually giving out on her. Her mouth hangs open, clutching, clawing at Calum to keep up, to keep steady. He rides out the rest of high, feeling as her holds slackens. 

Gently, he pulls his fingers out of her, bring them to his own lips. In her post orgasm haze, she can just register the sounds of Calum moans in her ears as he licks his fingers clean. She smiles up at him, tugging at his wrist. His hand in front of her she licks around the metal of his fingers, collecting her own arousal on her tongue. “Can’t let you have it all,” she grins, and then drops her head back into his chest. 

“No,” he chuckles, “no you can’t. Clearly.” Both arms wrapped around her, they stay hugged together, his back still pressed into the wall. 

“I will be able to walk in approximately 6.3 seconds. And it’ll be the bed for nap. Care to join me?” she laughs, sound muffled by his skin. 

“Sounds good to me.”

[shhhhyoursister]

uhhhh so.....wasnt planning on writing a proposal fic ever wasnt planning on writing a wedding fic EVER but here is my @theyellowcurtains​ approved take on this topic......

pt 1!!!!!

They don’t tell anyone when they do it a year later, except Matteo’s mom and Laura, and they are only told because David and Matteo don’t want to be killed the day they sneak away to the courthouse to get married.

They get all the official paperwork and everything done and are pronounced husband and husband, and they slide the matching wedding bands onto each other’s fingers as they’re leaving, both holding back tears and laughter. Once they’re on the street again David can’t stand it anymore and even though they’re still walking, he tugs Matteo in for a tight hug, and shoves his teary face in his fiancé, no, husband’s shoulder, and the thought of that only makes him laugh out another rush of tears.

Matteo isn’t faring any better. His face and his eyes are red, and wet, and he clings just as tightly to David as they stand in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing people to step around them. They only start moving again when someone yells cheerfully, “Keep it moving, lovebirds!”

They let their friends know in the funniest way they can think to; Matteo posts a new #florenzifriday (decided to keep their own last names for the time being), featuring his and David’s hands each wrapped around a beer bottle, their rings visible, with the additional hashtag #sorrywewantedtoelope.

Both of their phones starts buzzing within seconds, and they giggle and sip their drinks as they watch them ring, Jonas’ face popping up on David’s and Amira’s on Matteo’s. They cuddle on the couch and laugh every time a new text or voicemail comes in, and when David stumbles out of their room the next morning, feeling like hell after the beers they drank turned into drinking way more wine than they had intended, he grins when he checks both their phones and sees at least 30 missed calls on each.

They have their pre-planned biweekly double-date with Amira and Mohammed a couple of nights later, and when they meet outside the restaurant, Amira hits them both before pulling them into tight hugs, her eyes filled with tears that everyone pretends not to see. Mohammed hugs them both too, and looks at them with tears in his own eyes as he says, “Welcome to the best years of your lives, boys!”

They get teased mercilessly by the two when they’re begged to talk about how the engagement happened, Amira saying that she’s not surprised in the slightest by the way things went down. David jokingly complains about how annoyed he is that he didn’t take the ring out first, and Matteo rolls his eyes and kicks him under the table and says, “At least I had something planned.”

Jonas and Hanna react similarly; they both smack each of the boys before hugging them, and David misses whatever it is that Jonas whispers into Matteo’s ear that makes them both pull away teary-eyed, and he wraps his arm tight around Matteo’s waist as Jonas exclaims, “You didn’t have a wedding, but you fucking bet we’re throwing you a party, bros.”

The party is at the lake the next week, and Matteo is dreading it a tiny bit. He doesn’t know exactly what Jonas has planned and he didn’t know how to explain to him that the reason they didn’t have a wedding was because they didn’t need one. They didn’t need to force everyone into a room to watch them stand there in uncomfortable suits and sob about how much they love each other when everyone already knows. 

David can tell that Matteo is a little lackluster as they get ready for the party, and he watches as Matteo stares in their mirror, fidgeting with his hair. He walks up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist, hooks his chin over Matteo’s shoulder, and presses a quick kiss to his jaw before saying, “It’s still just for us, baby.”

Matteo nods and they leave for the party both feeling a little more excited, promising each other that the second either of them wants they’re leaving, even if it’s only after five minutes, because it’s their party and they can leave if they want to.

David watches Matteo’s jaw drop as they walk up to the gathering, the area near the lake decorated similarly to how it had been when Amira was going to a Australia, and they both blush and try to shove the other forward when they hear Laura call out, “They’re here!”

They’re greeted with hugs from everyone, and by the time they both make the rounds and are back in each other’s arms, he sees David grin and feels a finger poke into his back. When Matteo turns, David points out a figure walking towards the group, and Matteo gasps and feels tears well up in his eyes the second he realizes that it’s his mom.

Matteo’s mom had fallen in love with David almost faster than Matteo had, and David loved her back the same. She could see the natural connection they seemed to have immediately, and during their first phone call after she had spent the afternoon with them, she had laughed a little after listening to Matteo go off about David’s new movie idea, and told him that he was lucky. When he asked why, she had sighed, and said, “Most people don’t find their forever at your age.”

David bites his lip to hold back a grin as Matteo speedwalks forward and grabs his mom in a hug. They had all been too busy to get together after the “wedding”, and David watches her grab Matteo’s hand and stroke a finger over the ring, and he grins when she looks up at him and drags Matteo over. She grabs David in a hug, too, and then pulls Matteo in, and in a watery voice laughs out, “Oh, my boys.”

After the three spend enough time clinging to each other barely repressing tears, David yanks them over to Laura when he remembers that she and Matteo’s mom haven’t met yet. Matteo’s mom pulls her into a hug immediately, and they start chatting the second they pull away. Matteo is barely paying attention to their conversation, more focused on where he can see Jonas and Sam not-so-secretly trying to slip a cake onto the table with the rest of the food. He’s jerked back and he hears a laugh as David ducks away from Laura, who had reached her hand out to ruffle his hair, and just as David is about to jokingly yell at her they hear Jonas screaming, “Hey, husbands, get over here!”

They walk over with matching blushes on their faces, Jonas and Sam tug them until they’re standing in front of the cake, and they both burst out laughing when they see the beautiful, obviously high-quality cake, with Fuck yeah, Davenzi! written out in sloppy green frosting, along with various little doodles that prove that while they all might have gotten older, they’re still just as young and dumb as they feel on the inside.

Jonas shoves a knife into David’s hand and claps him on the shoulder before shoving Matteo into his side.

“This is the only wedding thing we’re going to make you guys do, we promise!” Sam says as she walks around the table and holds her phone out, waiting to take pictures. Matteo rolls his eyes at David’s barely hidden grin and grabs his hand over the knife, and they messily cut a huge piece, and laugh and blush when their friends cheer. 

David slides it onto a plate and grabs a fork, planning on completing the stereotypical act by feeding Matteo the first bite, but before he even gets cake on the fork he feels Matteo’s finger smearing a glob of frosting across his cheek. He laughs in shock before grabbing Matteo’s wrist, and manages to wrestle him into getting some on his own nose. They’re friends and family are all rolling their eyes, not shocked at the silly actions of the two, and some of them groan when Matteo yanks David in by the back of his head to lick the frosting off his face.

“You guys got us the cake and are making us cut it, you can’t complain about how we eat it.” And with that Matteo grabs a chunk with his already messy fingers and holds it up in front of David’s mouth. He raises his eyebrows and grins when David laughs a bit before leaning in, and sucks the frosting off of Matteo’s fingers when he pulls his hand away after shoving the cake into David’s mouth. 

“You too are fucking gross!” They hear Abdi call out, and everyone laughs as David turns to the crowd with shocked face and says, “Hey, no cursing, my mother-in-law is here!”

Everyone laughs and starts filing away, most of the show over. Sam starts cutting pieces for everyone else and Matteo drags David by the hand to a quieter, more private area. David is still holding the plate with the cake on it but he uses his free hand to press Matteo up against a tree, and kisses the frosting off his nose.

“Having a good time?” he asks, and knows the answer when he sees Matteo’s grin, and how bright his eyes are, and he can’t help but grin back.

“Yeah,” Matteo says, looking over David’s shoulder at the crowd, and then back into his eyes with a softer smile on his face, “the best.”

[1-800-papaya]

Cowgirls Don't Cry

Cordell Walker x Sister!Magnolia Rae Walker (OC) Warnings: Mentions of death and grief, but mostly fluff and emotional conversations.

Author note | This is very rough in terms of editing, and any and all types of feedback is greatly appreciated.

There’s this feeling when the glue dies, when it becomes clear that someone important and special dies and the mark, they left of the rest of the family becomes clear. That feeling permeated every aspect of life and everybody dealt with the grief in different ways. Maggie threw herself head long into her work, she tended to the horses in the stables all hours of the day and night. Her brother Cordell left and fell into a dark hole, Liam became the glue and voice of reason. That was until Liam proposed the idea of him filing for custody of Stella and August, that broke Maggie’s hold on all that was sane.

***

The room was still as Liam’s proposal sank in, his words shaking Maggie’s resolve as she tired her best not to lash out. As much as she wanted to reach across the table and punch her brother in the face, she couldn’t do it, not in front of the kids.

“How dare you,” Maggie seethed, her face not hiding the anger she held for her brother in that moment. The rest of the walker family simply stared at the young brunette women as she uncharacteristically fought with the middle Walker sibling.

“What do you mean, Stella and Auggie need stability and a Cordell isn’t here to do it so why not” Liam spoke, trying to reason with his little sister. While normally the only daughter of Abeline and Bonham Walker would join her brother in being the voice of reason in the family, today it seemed Liam’s words were the straw that broke the camels back.

“Don’t talk like he’s gone, Cords not gone like that” Maggie chastised her brother trying desperately to not raise her voice in front of Stella and August, but she couldn’t help it. In her mind, Liam’s suggestion was him talking like Cordell was dead and the family needed to move on.

“Maggie, Your brother isn’t suggesting anything,” Abeline tired to sooth her only daughter’s rage. “Not in front of the kids” she urged her child.

“No Momma, He’s…He’s talking as Cord’s never coming back” Maggie said teary eyed. While Maggie always told people that she loved both her brothers equally, something about Emily’s death and Cordell leaving that in this moment she despised Liam.

“Magnolia Rae Walker” Bonham’s firm voice cut harshly though the impending fight. Maggie looked at her father in teary silence. Without another word Maggie left the room, the house and escaped to the only place she’d ever felt at peace, the stables.

Liam found his sister sniffing away and rubbing her eyes with her head in her hands, tucked away in the corner of an empty stall. She had dug up a blanket the siblings had kept in the barn for moments just like this. Stepping into the stall, Liam sat down pulling his sister in his arms.

“I’m sorry, we all miss him you know” Liam spoke into his sister’s hair as sobs racked through her. Her walls crumbling as she was enveloped in the safety of her brother’s arms. While she might have hated Liam for his suggestion, the comfort she felt in his arms was something she was craving as her emotions got the best of her. The siblings sat there in the silent night, Liam letting Maggie cry.

“Frist Emily and now Cordi, I don’t know if I can do it any more Liam”.

“You’re not alone Rae”.

“Is he dead?” While her question was not out of the realm of possibility, the fact that his teary-eyed sister had timidly asked it anyway shook Liam a little. Liam didn’t respond for a minute; he didn’t know what to say to console her. In the end Liam only whispered a simple ‘no’, causing a new, fresh wave of tears to flood down her blotchy cheeks.

For the following months Liam regularly checked in with his sister and soon persuaded her to talk to someone. While Maggie still threw herself into her work, her conversations with Dr Levitt helped her redirect her pain and loss into healing via her interactions with her family. Maggie invested deeply into both Stella and August’s life and schooling, she encouraged both teens to came and talk to her when they needed or no one else would listen, Aunty Maggie would listen. The Walker family learned to move forward, to understand their feelings relating to Emily’s death, even with the dark cloud of Cordell’s absence looming over them. Magnolia never wanted to take Emily’s place as the family’s glue, but when a void appears in the family, someone must fill this important role.

When Cordell returned it was like the last few months never happened. The moment Maggie laid eyes on her brother, and she saw the worn look in his eyes, the stone walls and supports she’d built crumbled within seconds. She became distant once again, throwing herself into her work on the ranch once again.

***

The sun was slowly rising over the family ranch when Cordell drove back up the drive. His brain foggy with memories of Emily. The ranch was quiet, at this time in the morning, he didn’t think a single soul would be up yet. Then he saw Maggie walk across the yard and towards the stables. Even from this distance, Cordell could see the sag in her shoulders and the sluggishness in her walk. Sat in his truck a little longer and watched as a small smile graced his sisters’ lips when she opened the stable doors and greeted the horses housed within. Later, when he entered the family kitchen, his sister was notably absent.

“Morn’ Mamma,” Cordell greeted Abeline Walker, embracing her and kissing her head.

“Morning Darling” Abeline gestured to the pot of coffee on the counter and flipped the pancakes.

“Where’s Nolia?”

“Probably out with the horses, why don’t you go rangle her in for breakfast” His mother asked as Cordell downed his first coffee of the day. Cordell merely nodded and ventured out to the stables. The family’s large stables oak doors were swung wide open, and Cordell could see his sister tending to an young Tennessee walker colt.

“He’s new” Quipped the Texas ranger.

“Yeah, Daddy and I found him injured wondering the Davison’s old land” Maggie answered absentmindedly, stroking the nose of the chestnut-coloured colt.

“What’s his name” By now Cordell was leaning against the door to the colt’s stall.

“Cordi”

“You missed me that much huh”.

“Yeah, I guess mamma sent you” Maggie quipped turning to her brother, Cordell once again merely nodded in response, “You want to see something”. Cordell raised his eyebrows in query, Maggie mentioned for him to follow her. The pair walked further down the stables.

“You remember Pop tart the Appaloosa mare daddy got me for my birthday a few years ago,” Cordell hummed, that horse had been Magnolia’s pride and joy, she rode the mare any chance she could come rain or shine, “Well a few months ago she had a filly”.

Maggie leant against a new stall, this one was occupied by a large white and grey speckled appaloosa and a smaller almost identical filly. “I couldn’t help myself and named her Emily”.

Cordell watched as the small filly crossed the stall and left the comfort zone of her mother. Reaching his hand into the stall, the filly gave a tentative sniff. Maggie nudged her brother’s arm and handed him a small carrot, which he offered to the foal. Emily excitably munched on the treat before pushing her head into Cordell’s hand once more, searching for more carrots.

“Why Emily,”

“She was born a week after you left, everyone was so lost, when daddy asked me what we should call her, Emily was the only name I could think of. The kids seemed to brighten up a little when I told them her name. Stella even helped me tend to her those first few months” She answered as she refilled the feed and water buckets in the stall.

Weeks past before Cordell got the courage to talk to his little sister again, this time he came armed with the knowledge of Liam betrayal and how defensive the young women had gotten. Once again, he found her tending to the horses in the barn.

“Maggie” Came Cordell’s voice, laced with an unusual mix of uncertainty and confidence for the Texas ranger. The women in question simply hummed in acknowledgement as she brushes the stallion’s coat. “I know what Liam did”

The barn remained silent; it was as if the few months that Cordell had been undercover were a period that his sister mere wished to forget now that he has come home.

“We were all grieving Em’s death and then your disappearing act really rocked to boat” Magnolia’s voice was soft as her hand stilled, Adonis – the stallion maggie was tending to whined slightly at the lack of attention. “Then Liam suggested petitioning for custody of the kids, i…I just couldn’t believe he even thought about it…to me it felt like he thought you were never coming back and…I…I thought he was suggesting y…you…were…dead” She stuttered around her tears. Cordell didn’t respond both his brother and Stella had recounted the pain and anger in the usually soft and understanding women when Liam brought up his idea at family dinner. Instead, he simply stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Magnolia.

“I know, thank you for defending me”.

“Always”

“Now,” Cordell said after separating from the hug and clasping his hands together, “Whatever Momma is cooking smells absolutely amazing” Magnolia smiled and followed her brother back into the family home, linked at the elbows like they use to do as kids.

Abeline’s smile grew when she saw her children walk into the kitchen, Magnolia giggling loudly, seemingly at something Cordell had said. For their mother, it sparked joy to see her baby girl smile a genuine smile, something that hadn’t graced her lips since the family received the news of Emily’s death. She hoped and prayed that night that the smile on Magnolia’s lips never had to leave ever again.

[breanime]

Unsaid (Part Three)

Final part! Thanks for indulging me in this one, you guys. Hope you enjoy!

*gif not mine*

It was a surprisingly good day for Jax so far; he’d been able to secure a deal with the Mayans, sent some cash to Big Otto in the pen, finished producing a new series for the Cara Cara girls, and was able to talk Clay down from doing some sketchy shit to the club. Plus, you had stopped by the clubhouse to bring him lunch, which he ate after he ate you…

…It was a good day.

There was still some shit going on, of course. There was always shit. Hale was sniffing around the club again. He’d gone to your job a few weeks ago to interview you, but Jax had very clearly expressed to him his displeasure with that (he may have punched a hole in Hale’s office door), and that had been that. Gemma was pissed at Clay, which meant he was being a bitch to everyone else, and Tig and Kozik were at each other’s throats—still. Plus, the Nords were back on their bullshit, which meant trouble for the Sons. But, all things considered, Jax was happy with the way things were going. Particularly, he was happy with how things were going with you. So much so, in fact, that he was ready to take the next step with you. Upstairs, hidden in his dorm in his lockbox beside the first bullet he ever got pulled out of him, his passport, his Dad’s half-burnt manuscript, Abel’s first tooth, and a small velvet box containing an engagement ring.

“What kind of cut does she like?” Chibs had asked.

Jax, Chibs, and Opie were standing in the middle of a brightly lit jewelry store, actively ignoring the confused and suspicious looks they were getting from the customers and staff alike.

Jax shrugged. “This one?” He tried, pulling at his kutte, proudly showing his VP patch off.

Opie rolled his eyes, and Chibs chuckled despite himself. “Jesus Christ, Jackie, I meant what kind of diamond does she like? Like the style?”

“Oh shit,” Jax moved over to a display and looked down at the collection of sparkling rings, “I don’t know. Does it matter much?”

Chibs shook his head at the younger man’s stupidity. “To a woman? You bet your ass it matters, boy.”

“How’d the hell you do it the first time?” Opie asked.

“With Wendy?” Jax shrugged one shoulder. “It was easy, she was so loaded all the time, I could’ve given her a half-eaten Ring Pop and she wouldn’t have noticed.” He paused. “Actually, I don’t think I gave her a ring at all.”

“Well, you’re doing it right this time,” Chibs said, placing his hand on Jax’s shoulder encouragingly, “Although now I’m starting to think that maybe we should have brought Lyla or your ma.”

“Lyla’s working,” Opie said, voice tight. Neither Jax nor Chibs asked him to elaborate; they all knew what that meant.

“And Gem?” Chibs asked, effectively changing the subject.

Jax made a face. “If I brought my Mom, she’d be the one who ended up proposing.” He looked down at the display of spinning diamonds with a frown on his face. When the hell did they come up with these?

“That’s true,” Opie chuckled, coming to stand beside Jax, “Wow, that’s… new. When the hell did they come up with spinning jewelry?”

“Right?” Jax agreed.

“How about these?” Chibs pointed to a row of rings off to the side.

Jax leaned over to have a better look. “These aren’t bad,” he caught a saleswoman’s eye as he straightened up. The look she gave him was half-suspicious, half-interested.

“Can I help you…” She eyed their kuttes. “…gentlemen?”

“Yeah,” Jax smiled and watched her stance soften, “I’m looking for a ring to propose with, but there’s so many options…”

The girl’s face lit up, and she clasped her hands together in glee. “Oh, congratulations,” she cheered, her suspicious demeanor completely gone away now, “What’s her name?”

“Y/N,” Jax said, your name coming out of his mouth like a prayer. Just saying it once had him feeling all soft.

“Well I’m Michelle, let me show you some of our newer pieces. Does she have a preference?”

“She likes the pink-looking ones,” Chibs said eagerly, “I saw her showing some of her favorite earrings off to a couple of the girls the other night.”

“Pink?” Michelle asked, tilting her head.

Jax put a hand over his face as Opie huffed out a laugh. “You mean rose-gold, Irishman?” Ope said.

“Yeah,” Jax ignored Chibs and Opie’s arguing in the background and turned to Michelle, “She really likes rose-gold. You got anything in that color?”

It took Jax, Chibs, Opie, and the delightfully helpful Michelle about two hours to pick out the perfect ring. They thanked Michelle and tipped her heavily for her help, and though he was nervous, Jax was excited as well.

He had the ring, now all he had to do was drop to one knee and ask the most beautiful, loyal, amazing woman on Earth to agree to be his wife.

He looked up when Chibs, Tig, Happy, and Bobby came into the clubhouse, laughing and talking. Chibs came up to him and put his arm around Jax’s shoulders.

“Tonight’s the night, right Jackie boy?” He asked.

Jax laughed. “Maybe.”

“Maybe? How much longer are you gonna make us wait?” Tig asked, moving behind the bar and grabbing a few shot glasses.

“Make you wait?” Jax asked, still laughing. “Fuck off, Trager.”

“Never thought I’d see Jax shy away from a woman,” Bobby joked, sliding the now-full shot glasses over to the rest of them.

“I ain’t shying away from shit, fat boy,” Jax took his shot in one gulp.

“So do it tonight,” Tig said, shrugging as he refilled the glass, “Gemma says she’s gonna be throwing a big party tonight, everyone’s gonna be here.”

Jax tapped his fingers on the bar. “Yeah,” he nodded, “Yeah, I’ll do it tonight.”

The guys cheered, throwing their shot glasses up. Tig actually giggled as he filled them up again.

“Just don’t puss out, man,” Happy cautioned, tipping his glass to Jax.

“I won’t brother,” he promised—and he meant it, “I won’t.”

By the time you got to the clubhouse to help Gemma set up, the guys were all gone. You didn’t ask where they were—you never did—you just helped put the tables together and get the place ready for the party. Some of the other girls were there, and they all gave you and Gemma a certain width of respectful distance, only coming up to you to ask if there was anything else they could do. You were still getting used to that—everyone knew you were with Jax, and they treated you accordingly. He was the VP, after all, and he had an…explosive temper. But then again, so did you.

“Baby,” Jax had one hand up and the other in his hair, pushing the blonde locks back, “You gotta talk to me, what’s going on?”

You were in his dorm, slamming as much of your stuff as possible into the big ass purse Gemma had gotten you for your birthday a few weeks back. “Fuck all the way off, Teller,” you growled, shoving one of your shirts into the bag.

“Hey, hey,” he came up behind you, grabbing you by the elbow and spinning you around, “You gotta talk to me, Y/N, I have no idea what’s got you so pissed.”

“Oh, you don’t?” You asked, pushing his chest, “So you have no idea why some sweetbutt is out there wearing MY goddamn shirt? You have no clue how she got something that was in your room and how it got on her body?!” You yelled, pushing him again even though he didn’t move from the action.

Jax blinked. “What—what the hell are you talking about? Some chick’s got the same shirt as you, so you flip your shit at me?”

“No, she’s wearing my shirt that was in your room,” you glared up at him, “So tell me how she got in your room, Jax!”

Jax took a breath. He understood where your anger was coming from, but it was all a misunderstanding. Still, if some guy was walking around in one of his shirts that he’d left at your place, he’d be beyond pissed too. “Y/N,” he spoke carefully, “I swear, I have no idea how this happened.” He watched the doubt, confusion, and hurt flash through your eyes and set his jaw. “But I’m gonna find out.”

You had followed him down into the club and watched as he scanned the small crowd until he saw her. Jax stomped over to her, grabbing her and pushing her against a table. Glass shattered as it hit the floor, and the girl gasped at Jax’s roughness. He pushed his finger into her face and glared down at her. “You got two seconds to open that rancid mouth and tell me where you got that shirt,” he growled.

“I—I got it from your room,” she stammered, eyes wide, “I wanted to surprise you, but one of the other girls saw me and made me leave, I—I just wanted you to notice me, so I took the shirt, I didn’t know—”

“—didn’t know that it belonged to my Old Lady? That I belong to my Old Lady?” He yelled back. “Take that fucking shirt off and get out—NOW!” He roared.

Teary-eyed, she took the shirt off and threw it on the floor. You didn’t move to grab it, you didn’t even want it anymore. The girl turned to run off, but Jax grabbed her by the wrist and stopped her.

“You upset my lady,” he said, voice low, “Apologize.”

She turned to you, lip quivering in a way that was meant to be devasting but fell flat. “I—I’m sorry. I was just trying to get Jax’s attention…”

“And then his dick, am I right?” You asked, stepping up and balling your fist. You felt the anger course through you—you were so sick and tired of chicks like her, coming out of the woodwork and trying to get with your man. None of them really cared about Jax, none of them were equipped to deal with his lifestyle, none of them wanted him for the man he was—they just saw the kutte, not the man. “I’m gonna say this once,” you told her, “And I want you to listen close and tell all the other little kittens that Jax Teller is mine, and if I see your face around here again, I’m gonna break into your house, bathe you in gasoline, and light you on fire.” You smiled, all teeth, and saw her shrink away in fear. “We clear?”

“Y—yes,” she stammered, taking a few small steps back, “I am so, so sorry, Mrs. Teller!” And with that, she was gone.

Jax laughed, wrapping his arm around you and placing a kiss to the side of your head. “Mrs. Teller, huh?” He threw you a wink. “I like the sound of that.”

You rolled your eyes, not telling him that you liked it, too. “Let’s go put my shit back, Teller,” you said, “and then we’re getting a fucking lock for your door.”

After that, your issues with the other girls became pretty much non-existent. You liked the easy rhythm you and Jax had fallen into; there were still things about his lifestyle that were hard for you to grasp, but you knew there wasn’t another person on this planet who loved you more, or who you wanted to be with. So when he walked into the warehouse, followed by his brothers, laughing with his head thrown back, you smiled. Just the sight of him, just the sound of his laughter made you happy. Your grin widened when Jax looked up and locked eyes with you. You heard Gemma sniff from behind you, and when you turned to look at her, she was dabbing her eyes with her sleeve.

“Gem?” You stepped over to her, concern clear in your voice. “You alright?”

She nodded, opening her arms to pull you into a tight hug. “Everything’s fine, baby,” she said, smiling as she stepped back, “I’m just so happy to have you is all.” She reached over and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’m happy you’re with my Jackson.”

You smiled back, a little confused, but happy. “Me too, Gem.” You giggled when you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you, and the smell of leather and cigarettes and pure, unbridled man hit you. “Hi Jax.”

“Hey darlin’,” he said against your lips, he looked up and grinned at Gemma, “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, baby,” Gemma smiled back, “I’m gonna go get the cake ready.”

“Cake?” You asked, but Gemma was already rushing back to the kitchen, snapping her fingers at two Croweaters and demanding they follow her. You looked over at Jax, who was licking his lips and running a hand through his slicked back hair. “We got a cake?”

He shrugged. “Eh, who knows with Gemma?” He put an arm around your waist and pulled you closer. “Come outside with me?” He asked.

You nodded, letting Jax lead you outside to the picnic tables. He was acting a little strange, he kept looking behind him, and you could swear you saw Opie, Bobby, Chibs, Tig, and Juice peeking in through the window. You sat on the table, hands folded in your lap, as Jax took out a cigarette and lit it. He walked in front of you, pacing, and you knew he was building himself up to say something. You decided to give him a little push.

“Missed you today,” you said, smiling.

He smirked. “That’s the goal, sweetheart.”

You leaned forward a bit, giving him a little glimpse at your cleavage. “Did you miss me?”

Jax laughed, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. “Course I did,” he answered, “That’s why I lured you out here.”

“I thought you just wanted me out here to steal my virtue.”

He stood over you, kissing your nose with a smirk. “Already did. And I ain’t ever getting it back.” He kissed you, lips soft and gentle on yours. “Gotta ask you something,” he said, mouth still on yours, “and I want to ask you the right way, but… I can’t give you a speech.”

“Okay,” you cocked an eyebrow, “I don’t need a speech. Just ask me.” You put both hands on his face, forcing him to meet your eyes. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Jax let out a breath. You’d never seen him like this before—you’d seen him anxious before, you’ve seen him question himself before, but this… He seemed genuinely nervous. “Tell me you love me,” he said, voice soft.

“I love you,” you said.

He smiled. “I love you, too.” He took another breath before taking a step back…and getting down on one knee.

You stood up, eyes wide, barely registering the intake of breath from inside of the clubhouse (you were pretty sure you heard Tig say “yay!”). You watched as Jax reached into his pocket and took out a small blue box, your heart pounding. He popped the box open to reveal a gorgeous rose-gold ring with a huge diamond in the center and several other diamonds leading up to it. It took your breath away.

“Marry me,” Jax said, voice steady but eyes full of energy, “I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I need you. Marry me, Y/N.”

You clasped your hand over your mouth, feeling tears spring to your eyes, and nodded vigorously. You let out a laugh behind your hand when you saw the smile on Jax’s face. “Yes!” You were crying now. “Yes!”

Jax stood up and grabbed you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you as he spun you around. You heard cheering, clapping, and laughter in the background, and before you knew it, you were engulfed in a sea of giddy bikers hugging and congratulating you while Gemma held a huge cake with the Reaper saying “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED” in black frosting. You buried your face in Jax’s shoulder, wordlessly telling him how much you loved him and how grateful you were to have him in life.

Jax pulled back, grinning, and slid the ring onto your finger. Neither of you said anything, you just kissed, blissful and happy and in love, as your friends—and family, now—cheered you on. You knew that this was exactly where you belonged. This was exactly where he belonged.

And even though neither of you ever said it, you knew exactly where this was headed…

…a happily ever after.

******************************************************************************************

The end! Heh heh, comments and reblogs are super duper appreciated. Thanks for reading! Here’s the pic of the ring, if you were curious (I’m bad at jewelry, so I just picked the first one that caught my eye lol)

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[ajedisith]

Kylo Ren and Tender Masculinity

I was introduced to the term “tender masculinity” while discussing Little Women’s Friedrich Bhaer with @fairychamber. She has a lot of insight into the subject as well as gender fluidity. Both are interesting interconnected subjects. Friedrich is an important example of a secure, intelligent character who also shows compassion, vulnerability, and gender fluidity.

(GIF by reylotilldeath)

The depiction of traditional masculinity in popular culture primarily emphasizes aggression and boundless strength. On the other hand, tender masculinity emphasizes a new kind of perspective on masculinity in which male characters: express their emotions in healthy ways, are self-aware, respect boundaries, show vulnerability, are comfortable with learning from failure, and value non-romantic intimacy with others. While Star Wars’ Kylo Ren sometimes expresses his anger in aggressive ways, he has moments of genuine vulnerability, self-awareness, and the potential for emotional growth, as he develops an intimate, spiritual connection with another Force user. Kylo is passionate and emotional with slivers of compassion hidden beneath the broken outer layer. He does not completely embody tenderly masculine traits, but there are significant moments that illustrate a character who could eventually come to internalize many aspects of the trope. They key is his growth (in The Rise of Skywalker and beyond) in the way that he confronts his anger, whether or not he learns from his past mistakes, if he applies the lessons learned in healthy, non-aggressive ways, and how he treats Rey, regardless of whether or not there is romantic subtext in their interactions (which, for the record, I believe there will be). 

In The Force Awakens, we are introduced to a character whose inner turmoil leads to moments of tender emotional expression and hints of vulnerability with the heroine. When Kylo and Rey meet in the forest for the first time, he initially expresses a form of traditional masculinity that we’ve come to expect in pop culture media. He threatens Rey with his unstable, menacing red saber while he exerts dominance over her with his tall, domineering presence behind her. The masked facade adds to the dominating aura, devoid of intimacy or compassion. The traditional approach is subverted in their next scene together, the infamous interrogation scene. There we see a curious, patient Kylo gazing at a sleeping, peaceful Rey where instead we could have seen an angry, impatient man forcing a vulnerable woman awake to violently coerce what he needs. Furthermore, when Rey calls Kylo a “creature in a mask,” he simply responds by taking off the mask. He lets his guard down and shows vulnerability where there doesn’t need to be. He wants to be as strong as Darth Vader, and that persona can only truly be achieved when no one knows the real Kylo. But, instead he takes off his protective shield against the world, his one piece of armor that allows him to show his masculine, violent self to the world without retribution. In this moment, he risks criticism and more importantly rejection. 

Han and Kylo’s scene on the Starkiller bridge reveals an emotional, tense dynamic between father and son. Han warns his son that once once Snoke “gets what he wants, he’ll crush [Kylo].” The camera pans to a pained, teary-eyed Kylo, who knows this is true. The zoomed in image of Kylo illustrates a sad, emotional character. Traditional masculinity would elucidate a very different picture of such a character, one in which the stoic expression on his face would mask the turmoil within; we, the audience, would likely understand that, but the character would intentionally attempt to hide that inner vulnerable part of his identity for the screen. Kylo admits that he is “being torn apart” and “[wants] to be free of [the] pain,” but he doesn’t know if he has the strength to do it. “Will you help me?,” he asks of Han. Kylo is deeply conflicted about what he perceives he must do and what he wants to do. He realizes (and admits) the state of his true inner feelings; instead of pushing the undesirable feelings away, he asks for help from his father. This moment depicts tender masculinity for the way in which it highlights Kylo’s self-awareness about his feelings and allows the character to seek help from a male figure, instead of brushing off his feelings and impulsively lashing out. We as an audience don’t have Kylo’s complete backstory or motivations to make an opinion about whether or not he is sincere. But we do know that Kylo genuinely believes himself to right, as Adam Driver has said many times before. The aftermath of Han’s fall reveals a shocked, speechless, and very vulnerable “bad guy.” He is alone and unguarded, standing in the middle of the bridge; he isn’t even awakened from his trance by Chewbacca’s blaster shot. His vulnerability is raw, visible, and on full display. 

Rey and Kylo’s snowy duel at the end of The Force Awakens depicts an emotionally and physically wounded “villain.” An interesting aspect of this duel is how he reacts when Rey successfully yields Anakin’s lightsaber. His wide-eyed, open stance illustrates intrigue, curiosity, and genuine surprise at Rey’s abilities. Traditionally, we would expect to see such a character threatened by this unknown girl and eager to quickly be rid of her. Much of this intrigue is due to the set-up of these two characters as central, dual protagonists, but the scene further highlights Kylo’s vulnerability. Kylo desperately tells Rey, “You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force!” as he simultaneously has the upper hand in pushing her off the falling cliff and winning the duel. He has every advantage in this situation, not to mention that their surroundings are literally falling around them. Instead he chooses to offer help, to risk her retaliation during his moment of weakness. In a way, Kylo reveals a part of himself in this scene. He reveals that he is willing to risk quite a bit to seek companionship with the other sole Force user in the galaxy. 

Kylo’s desires, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses are brought to light in The Force Awakens. These foundational traits inspire growth, self-awareness, and emotional vulnerability in The Last Jedi.

The Last Jedi continues to highlight Kylo Ren’s more vulnerable traits; his mind wants so desperately to steer in a direction his heart cannot fully internalize. For example, there’s a few scenes of such growth for the character. During one of Rey and Kylo’s force bonds, Kylo lays out the cold, hard truth to Rey -- she can’t stop needing her parents, that she constantly looks for them in other people like Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. He harshly tells her that it’s her greatest weakness. He then imparts words of wisdom: “Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.” Kylo shares his own strategy on moving forward, but we know he is very broken inside because of it. Furthermore, in a later scene, Rey regrettably tells him that she didn’t find answers about her parents in the dark abyss on Ahch-To. She tells him that she’s never felt so alone. Kylo is then shown looking disheveled and teary-eyed. He softly says, “You’re not alone.” These scenes side-by-side illustrate development in regards to Kylo’s approach to loneliness, isolation, and companionship. In the former scene, Kylo may be intrigued by the girl, but he is also quite impartial, stoic, and assertive. The latter scene highlights his compassion, where he was impatient and cold before, he is now patient as he listens to her turmoil and empathetic of her desire for belonging. The two scenes together also show Kylo’s growing self-awareness because his empathy for Rey’s isolation stems from his own loneliness and lack of self-identity. 

One of Rey and Kylo’s initial force bond scenes occurs when she is enjoying the rain on Ahch-To. Rey is inconsolable when Kylo appears through the bond. Although Kylo is curious about whether or not she knows about the Temple incident, he doesn’t hound her with questions. He does, however, react to her calling him a “monster” by irritably acknowledging it. The fact that he concedes by simply replying, “Yes, I am” with gritted teeth and an intense look indicates that there is a tinge of regret, as if he wishes that wasn’t what she thought of him. The scene is important for what it shows about Kylo’s notion of ‘boundaries’ coupled with his genuine curiosity about what Rey has learned about the night the Temple burned. On the one hand, he tries to influence her into telling her version of events, but “that look in [her] eyes, from the forest,” the look of hatred towards the monster, hinders his resolve. He figuratively backs into the dark corner, where he is the monster in her eyes and her anger reigns supreme to his discomfort. He values her opinion, but also respects her boundaries; she is not ready to talk of Temple burnings when her anger at the “monster” dominates all other emotions.

Moreover, another scene that emphasizes Kylo Ren’s tender masculinity is the scene after the throne room duel. Kylo again relays his thoughts about letting go of the past, albeit in a softer, more self-aware way. He tries to articulate what he means by letting the past die, which to him means moving forward without the shadows of Snoke, Skywalker, the Jedi, the Sith, or the Rebels. While Kylo’s proposal of, “You’re nothing, but not to me,” is ill-conceived and not at all helpful to his cause, his barely audible, soft whisper of “please” is where the emotional vulnerability comes into play. With that single word, Kylo reveals himself as someone seeking a belonging and companionship -- someone who is looking for something more than wars of Galactic Empires versus Resistance fighters or Jedi masters versus Sith lords. The soft, yet desperate way in which he says that word emphasizes his pain, with a tinge of hope that she may come to understand him. 

There are more instances of Kylo’s unique tender masculinity sprinkled throughout The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. A few more examples:

When Kylo tells Snoke, “He means nothing to me,” (regarding his father) the camera zooms in on a masked Ren, with an emotional tint in his voice and a slight tilt of the head, as if he is also trying to convince himself of this. It’s shows subtle vulnerability that his father still means more to him than he wants to accept. Even Snoke doesn’t believe him and threateningly says, “We shall see.”

Rey says, “You’re afraid that you’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader.” Kylo then immediately stops their force connection and looks hurt, surprised, and confused. He could have easily hurt Rey for revealing this truth, he could have done something drastic and violent to her, but he simply stands there shellshocked at her discovery. His response illustrates awareness about his fears and desires.  

Kylo speaks to Darth Vader: “I feel it again. The pull to the light. Supreme Leader senses it. Show me again the power of the darkness.” Kylo has a motive that perhaps hasn’t been fully revealed yet in the trilogy, but this scene illustrates his fear of being pulled to the light for whatever reason. He addresses this fear not necessarily by going out and murdering more people, or hunting down his enemies and slaughtering them one by one, but by addressing the one Force user whom he believes would have an answer for him. He seeks insight and advice. 

The Rise of Skywalker will be interesting for what it shows us about how Kylo chooses to utilize his masculine energy. At the end of The Last Jedi, Kylo fails to: (1) convince Rey to join him in ruling the galaxy together, (2) find Luke Skywalker, and (3) fully embrace the dark side even after killing his father and master. The next movie will show us how he learns from these failures -- does he use violence to lash out against people who’ve wronged him or does he even retaliate at all? Episode VIII also leaves Kylo in a very vulnerable position in terms of his dynamic with Rey. He lays a lot on the line for that relationship to come into fruition. The next question for that aspect of the story is how does Kylo confront and treat Rey for the better part of Episode IX? Does he impart more words of wisdom or offerings of help, or does he retaliate in full force? Does he show compassion for Rey, regardless of whether or not their dynamic is romantic, or does the compassion only show itself when the relationship becomes more romantic? This is important for what it reveals about how Kylo values his relationships with female characters. 

I personally have high hopes for Kylo in the final movie of the saga. I am optimistic that his growth as a character that embodies compassion, vulnerability, emotion, and tenderness will come full circle in The Rise of Skywalker. 

But we shall see for ourselves in a few weeks.  

[selsprompts]

I can’t quit you [1]

Disclaimer; angst, a lot of it. The feels, emotions, might make you cry?? Possible language?? Sounds about right for this book. 

pairing; steve rogers x reader

Lyrics by Ali gatie's song it's you are used.

——————

Y/n's POV

"You don't get it Steve" You stormed into your shared apartment.

"Don't get what darlin'? Enlighten me then." Steve said hot on your heels.

"I'm afraid- of THIS" you waved your hand between the two of you with teary eyes.

"Y/n calm down, just talk to me"

"How can I talk to you about this Steve? How do I tell you that I'm afraid of being loved? Or being in love? Or even that I'm afraid of what it could do or lead to? Or that I'm not enough for yo-"

"Stop. Don't say that."

"But it's the truth. I'm so scared Steve" you fell to your knees, crying in-front of Steve like never before.

"You are so much more and everything that I could've ever asked for Y/n, why can't you see that?"

"Steve, we- I can't do this anymore"

"Do what anymore" Steve kneels down next to you holding your face in his hands.

"You don't need a modern girl Steve. You need an Avenger. I love you so much but I can't be what you want, you keep saying I'm everything you've ever wanted but I can't take waiting for you to come home ALIVE. I'm scared that if I get pulled in too deep Steve I won't be able to get out" You stand up ready to walk away.

"Y/n please don't do this-" he chokes on a sob while you stand up wrapping his arms around your middle.

"Steve please- you're making this so much harder than it has to be" you say with tears in your eyes blurring your vision trying to pry him off of you but that only made him grip on tighter.

"Please don't break my heart, don't tear me apart Y/n, I know how this starts, trust me I've been broken before."

"Steve please" You say crying aloud.

"Don't break me again, I'm delicate, please Y/n I'm begging you don't break my heart, I've been broken before"

"I'm sorry Steve but, I'm not your happily ever after" You sniffle as his grip finally falls.

You grab your purse from your shared apartment that you've had with Steve for two full years and leave. You hear Steve crying in the distance but block him out when you close the apartment door.

"Did you do it?" The man said.

"Yes, I've done what you've asked now will you leave him alone" you asked teary eyed once again.

"Thank-you for your corporation Y/n, come with us now and no harm will be done to your precious Captain" said the HYDRA operative.

At least Steve was safe now you thought. Even if it means he'll never know you lied straight through your teeth or ever love you again, at least he's safe.

—

Steve sat looking stunned in his apartment after the events that had just occurred. How could she? He was certain she was the love of his life, wasn't she? He couldn't find a bone in his body to get up and chase you because he was so weak.

Everything was going good, great, FANTASTIC between them. Then this happens today, out of nowhere. As if a switch flipped in her mind she just- stopped feeling the warmth and love of Steve.

Steve got up and went to the bathroom still quietly sobbing. He moved towards his side of the bathroom, passing yours. His side was so much more masculine. He had shavers, cologne and deodorant. Yours had perfume, bubble bath solution, and all the amazing smelling shampoo that he got a scent of whenever he hugged you after a long mission.

He opened the cabinet below his part of the sink pulling out a velvet box hidden behind some bottles of shaving cream. He took the velvet box and opened it up revealing the beautiful 10 carat diamond ring he bought you months ago, ready to propose but never had the guts to looking at it with a frown.

Today was the day he would propose, today was your 2 year anniversary and he was going to prepare you dinner at your shared apartment and when desert was being served pop the question. But that sadly would never happen now.

Steve took the ring back to the bedroom you shared putting it on his dresser beside the picture of the two of you at one of Tony's famous parties. That was the first time Steve introduced you to his friends. They all loved you, so much. Them hearing the news about you would break their hearts just as much as it broke his.

Steve moved to sit down on the king sized bed you shared. He traced his hand over your side of the bed settling on your pillow. This was the bed he first touched you on, where he first made love to you. It was the night you moved into his apartment. Steve didn't want to rush things but when he saw you in one of his t-shirts and just a pair of panties he couldn't resist kissing you. One thing led to another and the night was a blur of pure bliss for each of you. That was a night Steve would and could never forget no matter how hard he tried.

Steve got up wiping a stray tear away from his eye going back to the bathroom stripping down. He got into the shower turning it on it's hottest setting. He wanted to burn away all the pain, love, possible lies, and the memory of you. He had to move on. He knows you, he knows that no matter how many times he calls you won't answer, he knows that there is no point in searching for you because you need your space, he knows that he lost you... forever. What he did know was that he loved you- no loves you and god help him with moving on.

Part 2

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