#he said do not forget the main message of this band go the fuck to sleep

[blue-lollipops-and-ice-clouds]

Vessel's Sleep.

(Source - the amazing sleeptkn)

[kasugas]

Notable things from the EE intimate acoustic session i went to:

I know this is probably a mix of old and new information but i wanted to put everything from the set in one post so i can keep it for posterity.

Jon fucking cracked his head open on the morning of the show on an Uber boot lid while taking merch out of the boot.

Jon said the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel were inspirations to him as a kid.

Jon got his first guitar at 13 and had a dream to make music by then.

Alex mentioned playing viola and cello as a kid and mostly knows stringed instruments. He said he wasn't good at the piano and Jon mentioned he's shit at the drums.

They both talked about how the band got together. Jon poached Alex from another band that broke up 2 weeks before they were gonna get signed for a band, by literally messaging him on old timey email or Facebook and saying "do you want to get a burrito".

Jon tried to impress him by eating the same spicy burrito as him and he was dying the entire time.

Jon also talked about how he loves it when he makes songs that give the impression that he has strong feelings on things but it's ambiguous as to what those feelings are.

Jon said man alive was a very nervous energy album, where ideas where just smashed together because these songs were the beginning of his songwriting. He mentioned photoshop handsome having conflicting messaging talking about surgery and photoshop at the same time, which he thought muddled the idea of the song.

They thought arc was more put together, and for every album they make they try and think of what makes a better sound for a live experience.

Talked about how their career is very much due to luck. They have had it very lucky with getting their songs circulated in radio space when they were such a small band starting out.

Suffragette suffragette was a single produced for a small label which very luckily got radio time

Photoshop handsome was rejected for radio because it was "too weird" but the music video gave them the success they needed. They made the music video themselves in their garage using a greenscreen, and submitted it to a competition on MySpace. The winner got played on MTV 2 for a week or two. They spoofed tons of votes with the help of their friends to win the completion.

Some big radio name (i unfortunately forget the name of) heard it on MTV 2 in a random hotel room and really liked it, so he ended up getting that song radio time.

The producer for get to heaven (Stuart Price) wasnt paid big manager money at all because he was doing it BC he was a fan. And the fact he was a "pop" producer didn't change ee's sound because they had everything written beforehand and he couldn't change their weirdness.

Apparently Jeremy's back was up when working with him until Alex and Mike met Stuart and confirmed he was chill.

Jon talked about the fact he was extremely moody on get to heavens creation. Alex said an anecdote where he tried to get Jon to do the vocals for warm healer and he did the main melody and then went "this is the worst song I've ever done" and then left the studio.

Jon talked about being the emotional heart of the team while Alex was the techy guy. Except Jons emotional heart was being a moody dickhead, in his words.

There was no cover of a song from a fever dream because it was too hard to convert one of the songs to acoustic, according to Alex.

Jon said Re-animator was the album he would change the most on and that it was the most unpolished.

Alex said he was very stressed in making mountainhead. It was the shortest amount of time they had made an album in. He was juggling home life and his work quite extremely. And by the end he was stubborn on his production choices.

With mountainhead being an exception, Alex mentioned that normally they have 5 or 6 versions of a song recorded before they choose one to go with.

Alex talked about their boiler suit troubles in the early days. Jeremy was insistent that their boiler suits be tailored which he recalled was terrible for movement.

Jon mentioned that he has had no formal vocal training. He didnt even do vocal warmups The falsetto was something he did in his early career and by the time he realised he did it he had settled into it and it had become "his thing".

He also admitted he didn't think he had a strong voice which I think is a. Fucking lie.

Alex talked about how touring is a LOT of waiting. And that they have exhausted every single avenue of conversation with each other so they end up just going to inside jokes they've had for 15 years they don't even remember why they're funny anymore.

During lockdown when the building their equipment was in burned down, they got into an argument with the owner of the building because he thought it was an insurance fraud job.

Jon still uses his guitar that got burned in lockdown in shows. Its the same body but has a new neck. Alex's also got restored but he doesn't play it because it's really difficult to play. Jon said Alex puts really heavy strings on his guitar because "it's what the jazz musicians do". But because it got burned apparently it sounds "a bit shit".

They both have talked a lot about how Spotify and streaming has decimated the music industry. Alex also talked about how songs don't even need albums anymore you can just made a compilation of singles and how he is averse to singles. Him and Jon joked about the idea that albums don't need any singles. Alex also talked about how cohesive albums are a dying breed of music made for a dying breed of fan.

[threadandlace]

Blue Jean Baby- seamstress for the band series part five (13.0k)

Masterlist- to start from the beginning

You watched Sam disappear down the stairs of the bus and stood in silence for a moment, letting the last few minutes replay through your head. “Are you ready to go back there?” you heard Albert call back. You shouted back your approval before grabbing your phone and immediately calling Jen.

“This better be good, it’s after midnight,” Jen mumbled as a greeting. “Jen, you’re never going to believe what just happened…”

You quickly recounted the events from the last few days, ending with the awkward kiss with a very inebriated Sam. Jen was quiet for a moment, soaking everything in. “Well, I don’t want just a historical recollection of everything, I want to know how you feel! Your thoughts!” Jen exclaimed. “Oh, I definitely don’t like him. I don’t think,” you replied, chewing on your lip as you thought. There was something somewhat magnetic about Sam, but you couldn’t imagine yourself being with him. “Yeah, no. I don’t think he’s a good choice for me. And now I don’t know how to go about explaining that to him,” you conceded. “Well, given his reaction, I think he knows he fucked up. And you said he was drunk, right? So odds are, he may not even remember it,” Jen replied quietly. “Jen, I feel like that is definitely not something you just forget. Even if you’re drunk. And he wasn’t like, trashed,” you clarified. “Well, there’s not much you can do about it tonight, you’ll just have to gauge him in the morning. What are you working on?” Jen asked, changing the subject.

You went into detail about the project currently laid out in front of you- another one of Jake’s jackets. You were carefully sketching out a floral design on the back in chalk, which would serve as a guide for various fabrics you’d layer to finish out the design. It was going to be your main project for the night, although you’d want to get some rest too. Albert had mentioned that the drive would be about 12 hours at what he called “tour bus turtle speed.” Jen gave you a few suggestions for your design before ending the conversation. “If you don’t let me go to sleep, I will personally drive to Pennsylvania  and commit crimes against you,” Jen said, her voice raspy with exhaustion. “Fine. Sleep well,” you said, waiting for a snappy remark. There was none, so you hung up the phone and laughed to yourself. Sure, Jen could be a true character, but she brought joy into your life, and that was all that mattered.

The next four hours were spent alternating between being hunched over your sewing machine and sprawled out over the scraps of fabric on the table. You finished the jacket quicker than you’d thought, deciding sleep would be your reward. Brushing your teeth and washing your face on a moving bus proved to be slightly difficult, but not impossible. You couldn’t help but notice how quiet the bus was without the group, a constant stillness present. You changed into your pajamas before heading up to check on Albert. You’d grown quite fond of him, and you were incredibly thankful for his ability to get you from point A to B quickly and safely. You found him focused on the drive and in good spirits, listening to a comedy podcast play on his phone. “Do you want any snacks or water?” you asked him. “I’m all good, hon. You go get some rest!” he replied, giving you a wide smile, his face crinkling. 

You crawled into your bunk and rolled to plug your phone in. A message popped up on your phone as you were setting your alarm. You opened it.

Danny: Are you and Albert doing okay? 

You couldn’t help but smile at the text. Danny truly was a sweet guy, and you knew the text was genuine. 

Yes, we are good! How are you guys faring? I figured you’d all be asleep by now! 

Danny: I’m the last one up, got sucked into my book. Wanted to check in before I went to sleep and figured you’d be up.

Hmmm, a book? I haven’t seen him read at all during this trip. Must be boring on their bus. I wonder if Sam told him what happened… 

I’m headed to bed too. See you in the morning!

Danny: Good night! 

You finished setting your alarm, choosing 10:00 am as a decent wake up time. Six hours didn’t seem like enough sleep, but you had run on a lot less and should be close to the destination at that time. The quiet hum and swishing of the road noise had you asleep in mere minutes, the day’s events making you more exhausted than you had thought. ___________________________________________

Your alarm woke you, and you rolled to grab for your phone. You checked your home screen and saw you had no messages, a good sign that nothing was amiss. Rolling out of the bunk and onto the floor, you realized that the bus was still moving. A quick check of your phone told you that you were still in Ohio, a ways to go from the venue in Pennsylvania. You grabbed a change of clothes and your toiletries before heading to the bathroom to do a quick morning routine and change. As you brushed your teeth, the events of last night came flooding back into your memory and you cringed. Hopefully he won’t even remember what happened. He was pretty drunk. You finished in the bathroom and returned your stuff to your suitcase before walking up the hall to check in on Albert.

“Good morning!” Albert greeted you, a smile on his face as he took a sip from his reusable coffee mug which was plastered with pictures of what you could only guess was his family. You gave him a smile and pulled down the small seat that was attached to the front divider of the bus. “How’s it going?” you inquired, looking out at the road as you waited for his answer. “We hit some traffic due to construction during the night, and then we were just in traffic,” he replied, giving you a sigh. “That’s frustrating,” you said, watching as he continued to sip on his coffee, his eyes never leaving the road. He nodded. “We are running behind, that’s for sure. I think we will be stopped for a late breakfast, early lunch. Dean, the other driver, said that the boys are mostly awake and ready to stop.” You nodded again and smiled at the fact that he called them “the boys.” You pointed to his cup. “Who are all these lovely people?” you asked turning it in the cup holder to examine it. He gave you a smile and began to tell you about each person, giving you funny stories along the way.

You and Albert talked for about 45 minutes. You listened to him as he told you about his family, occasionally interjecting bits and pieces about your own. Eventually he pulled into the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel, following behind the other bus. You stood and stretched as Albert parked. Jake was the first one off of the bus, making a beeline towards the restaurant. Josh and Danny were next, immediately heading towards your bus. You walked down to greet them, both of them giving you a grin. “Good morning,” you said as Josh reached out to pull you into his side, linking arms with you as the three of you walked into the restaurant. 

Jake was standing by the hostess booth and turned to face the group as you approached. “The wait is going to be about ten minutes,” he said quietly, giving you a big grin in greeting. “Did you get any sleep?” he asked softly. “Oh yeah, a few hours,” you replied as you all followed Josh as he wandered around the store, inspecting the various gifts and gadgets that they had for sale. “What about you guys? Good drive so far?” you inquired, wondering where Sam was. “Not too bad. Sam was up all night, sick as a dog. He drank way too much last night and the motion got to him I think,” Danny replied, swiping his curly bangs out of his eyes. “I slept great,” Josh cut in, turning to show you a tiny sewing kit he’d found on a shelf. “Yeah, Josh here sleeps like a log,” Danny cut in, rubbing his face. “I, however, do not. So I was up most of the night with Sam. Making sure he was hydrated and everything.” Jake elbowed his side and laughed. “Danny’s the modern Florence Nightingale if she was a drummer in a band. The mom of the band for sure. Do you guys remember that one time in Germany when we were all drunk and high off of our asses and somehow Danny still got us back to the hotel? Part nurse, part tracking dog I swear,” Jake said with a laugh as Josh turned to show you another trinket, this time a little bird carrying a thread in its mouth. “Look, it’s you,” Josh said, a twinkle in his eye. Danny pulled a mouse holding a comically large piece of cheese from off the shelf, presenting it to Josh. “And this is you, Josh,” Danny chuckled. Josh gave him a jab with his elbow and placed the bird back on the shelf. 

A voice over the loudspeaker called Jake's name and the group headed to claim your table. You passed Albert and Dean sitting together on your way to your table and you gave Albert’s shoulder a light squeeze. You took the seat at the far end of the table and Josh pushed Danny out of the way to take the seat next to you. “Nuh uh, I don’t want to sit next to Jake, he stinks,” Josh said, pushing Danny towards the other side of the table. Danny shook his head, but went to sit across from you, next to Jake. Your waitress handed out the menus and took your drink orders, all four of you ordering coffee. 

Josh leaned over towards you. “What are you going to get?” he whispered. You turned to look at him and chuckled. “I don’t know… Why? Is it a secret?” you whispered back from behind your menu. He glanced over at Jake and Danny, who were both absorbed in reading over the options. “We may or may not have placed bets over what you’d get. But I think they may have forgotten,” Josh replied, turning the page of his menu. You couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head as you continued to read the many options. They placed bets on what I’d order… which means they talked about me when I wasn’t there… hmmm… 

Your waitress came back and placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of each of you before taking your orders. Jake ordered some sort of hash brown casserole, Danny chose some sort of sandwich and Josh chose pancakes. They all turned to look at you expectantly when it was your turn. “I’ll do the pancake breakfast with scrambled eggs, no meat please,” you said before handing the waitress your menu. Josh grinned widely and held his hands out to Danny and Jake, who were digging in their pockets for their wallets. “What can I say? I am a girl who loves pancakes,” you confessed as Jake and Danny each handed Josh a $20 bill from their wallets, grumbling the whole time. “A girl after my own heart,” Josh said, stuffing the bills in his pockets as he nudged you. 

The food came quickly and everyone busied themselves with eating. After a moment, Jake spoke up. “Did anyone text Sam and ask him what he wants?” Josh and Danny shook their heads, but Danny picked up his phone to send him a text. You all spent the rest of the meal chatting and listening to stories from everyone’s various travels- theirs to various countries to perform, yours to various locations for fashion shows and shoots. “Favorite place you’ve been, go!” Josh asked, gesturing to you first. “India, by far. I’ve only been once, but it was amazing,” you answered honestly before turning to look at Jake, signaling his turn. “Probably Germany,” he answered. Danny agreed with his answer. “I think India has been my favorite too. The culture alone is just… amazing,” Josh answered, a sense of amazement in his voice. 

Your waitress came back by to check on your group, and Danny checked his phone. “Sam hasn’t responded, any ideas what he’ll want?” he asked the group. Josh thought for a moment before turning to the waitress who was waiting with her pen held above her notepad. “Can we get a baked potato? No meat, but the rest of the toppings on the side if you could, to go” Josh requested. She wrote it down and nodded before making her way towards the kitchen. “Good call,” Danny acknowledged as he finished his coffee. 

Jake got up first to go pay the bill while the rest of you waited for Sam’s food. “Hopefully he’s not dead,” Josh joked, before looking at Danny. “He seemed real out of sorts last night, didn’t he? Any idea what has been bothering him?” Josh asked. Danny shook his head before answering. “I have no idea. I think being stuck in that elevator threw him for a loop.” You nodded in agreement, knowing only you must know the real reason for his behavior. “Whatever it is, I hope he gets his shit together. I’m tired of him acting like an ass,” Josh replied, shaking his head. 

Sam’s food came out soon after and Danny grabbed the bag to carry it out. Josh turned to you as you all walked out towards the buses. “Can I ride with you? I need some quiet and I have a feeling they,” he pointed to Danny and Jake, who were goofing off in the parking lot, “are not going to be quiet.” 

“Of course! I may be running the sewing machine but I can promise no jam sessions,” you answered, giving him a grin. “Absolutely perfect. Let me go grab my bag and make sure Samuel is alive and at least somewhat well,” Josh said before jogging to the other bus, pausing only to jokingly kick out at both Jake and Danny, who both tried to grab him before he ducked and ran past them, onto the bus. What goofballs, you thought to yourself as you laughed, their shenanigans bringing a smile to your face. 

Once back on the bus, you checked your phone.

Jen: Any updates? Lover boy say anything?

You grimaced at the term, but shot her a reply. 

Nope, he was apparently sick for most of the night. Didn’t come to brunch. They think it’s because he’s hungover but I’m not so sure…

You pulled out one of Josh’s jumpsuits for a future show, laying it carefully on the table in front of you.

Jen: Well, he’ll have to face you sooner than later. Maybe he really is sick, forgot the whole thing.

You wished. You picked a stray fuzz off of the jumpsuit before replying.

We will see. Hoping for the best. 

Josh climbed on board, giving Albert a squeeze before walking back into your work area and plopping down onto the bench across from you. “Y’all ready back there?” you heard Albert call back. You and Josh both yelled your approval before turning back to each other.

 “I’m guessing that’s mine,” Josh said, shooting you a grin. “Well, you are the only one who wears a full jumpsuit, so yes, this would be yours,” you answered. He walked over to the table and ran his hand across the soft fabric, taking care not to snag any of the rhinestones that you’d applied. The burnt orange fabric was the perfect shade for him and you knew he’d love the deep cut of the neckline. “I can’t wait to wear this one,” Josh said softly as he inspected the various elements. You pulled out your pattern to show him. “I need to finish applying the rhinestones and then it should be ready for a test run. Hopefully at the end of the day at the latest,” you explained as you gestured to the areas that still needed some work. He nodded and went back to his spot on the bench, pulling out his journal and an assortment of colored markers. 

You both worked in comfortable silence until Josh fell asleep, his journal face down on his chest. You were able to complete all of the outfits for the next state and had laid down on the bench opposite Josh to rest when you felt the bus come to a stop. You turned to look at Josh, waiting for him to rouse, but he didn’t. He looked so peaceful laying there, his curly hair framing his face which was completely relaxed, his pink lips slightly open as he breathed deeply in and out. Walking quietly, you went to gently place your hand on his arm to wake him. He unconsciously reached out and put his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb against the top of your hand slowly. 

“Hey Josh,” you whispered, lowering yourself to get closer to him so he could hear you. He still didn’t stir, clearly deep in a dream as he mumbled softly to himself and maintained his grasp on your hand. The doors of the bus rattled open and Jake suddenly appeared, glancing back and forth between you and Josh. “Help?” you whispered, gesturing to his hold on your hand. Jake chuckled and walked towards his twin, smacking his leg a couple of times. “Josh, let go,” Jake commanded, reaching out to lightly pop his hand. Josh jolted awake and turned to glare at Jake, clearly irritated with the rude awakening. He looked down and realized he was still holding onto your hand and he instantly let go, turning to face you. “Sorry, I uh…” Josh stammered as he pushed himself up and started to pick up his pens and markers. “He sometimes just reaches out and grabs hold of whoever is next to him. He used to do it all the time when we were little. Luckily he didn’t pull you on top of him. He’s been known to do that too,” Jake said with a laugh, Josh shooting daggers at him. 

Danny and Sam appeared in your work area, Sam sporting a dark pair of sunglasses. “Looks like you’re alive!” you teased, hoping to gauge Sam’s reaction. He responded with a shrug. “Well, we have the rest of the day off, what shall we do?” Danny asked before taking a seat next to Josh, helping him finish putting his art materials into the small canvas bag he had. Jake had pulled his phone out and was scrolling. “Phillies game?” Jake suggested and Josh clapped his hands. “I want a hot dog!” he exclaimed, suddenly very awake and back to his animated self. Danny turned to face you. “Will you come with us?” he asked. Josh chimed in. “Yes! Come! It will be so fun! You said you were done with the next set of outfits, so you should have time! Right?” You nodded slowly, weighing the options. You wanted to go- you loved baseball and hanging out with the group was so much fun, but you did have some things you should get done and were unsure of where you stood with Sam. You glanced over at him but he was caught up in his phone. 

“Why not? I do love some baseball,” you agreed. “I’ll double check and see if any of the crew wants to go too,” Jake added, pulling out his phone to send a group message. “Let’s take everything up to the rooms,” Danny added, gesturing towards the hotel. You grabbed your suitcase and backpack before making your way off of the bus, you and Jake inviting Albert on your way out the door. “No, I have a date with my bed. Y’all have a great time though!” Albert said, giving you a wink. 

Emily met you in the lobby of the hotel, handing everyone their keys. “Y’all have fun tonight. Please stay out of the media, and be ready to head to the venue at 11 am for soundcheck.” The group nodded and you all headed up to the floor you all shared, once again. “Alright, the game starts at 4:30, it’s 3:00 now, so leave at 3:30? Is that enough time for everyone?” Jake asked before the group broke up. You all agreed and went your separate ways to get ready for the evening game.

The hotel room was nice, albeit small. You threw your suitcase onto the desk and opened it, knowing you needed to pick an outfit and probably shower. You settled on a pair of ripped, dark-wash jeans, a plain white v neck and your trusty jean jacket. A quick shower refreshed your mind and body. You quickly applied a light layer of makeup and added some product to your hair so that it’d dry in a more controlled pattern of natural waves. 

You knocked on the twin’s door, hoping they hadn’t left yet, but there was no response. You checked your phone- it was only 3:26. You moved on to Sam and Danny’s door and knocked quietly. The door opened almost instantly, Danny greeting you with a grin. “Come on in, Sam is finishing up. The twins are probably running late, like always,” he said as he backed up, letting you walk in. 

You walked past Sam who was bent over the counter, picking at something on his face in the mirror. “You okay?” you asked and instantly froze. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” He shot back defensively. You held up your hands. “Just checking in on you. I know you weren’t feeling good earlier,” you said, hoping you were hinting that you cared about him, even if you didn’t in the way he wanted. “He’s fine, just a baby,” Danny joked as went to sit on the foot of one of the beds, bending to slip on and tie his shoes. You sat on the other bed, watching him as his long fingers worked to quickly throw the laces over each other and tie them quickly into a bow. He finished and sat back, grinning at you. “So, you like baseball?” he asked. You nodded. “I used to play softball in high school. I was a pitcher,” you responded, giving him a grin. “Damn, you’ve been holding out on us! A woman of many talents,” Danny replied. 

You both jumped at the sounds coming from the door. It sounded like someone was trying to knock the door off of its hinges. “Jake and Josh,” Danny said, answering your question of who the hell would be knocking that loud. Sam opened the door and the twins filtered in. “Are we ready?” Josh asked. He was dressed in a casual jumpsuit he’d actually commissioned from you before you’d been brought onboard to work on their stage outfits. It was the first project you’d worked on for him, when you knew that you both had an artistic connection. You smiled as you walked over and gently reached out to run your hand along one of the pockets you’d embroidered the sides of. He turned to watch you, grinning. “I guess you recognize this, huh?” Josh said, giving you a somewhat shy grin. That’s new. I’ve never seen this man shy before. Ever. You smiled and nodded, the memories of the first time you ever heard his voice rushing into the forefront of your mind.

A year earlier…

“Hi, uh, my name is Josh Kiszka. I am calling in regards to some, uh, design work I’ve seen? That you’ve done? I was given your name by Jim Jackson of the Ivys. I loved the jumpsuit you made for him and wanted to see if you were taking on new clients. I’m in a band called Greta Van Fleet and we are looking for someone new who would be willing to take us on. I saw your portfolio and I’m just… blown away by your work. Truly just, ethereal. And the mixed media work is just something else. Truly groundbreaking. Anyways, give me a call back at…”

You still had the voicemail saved in your phone. You had googled Josh and the band the moment you got the message, falling in love with the premise of their band, the message behind the music and, of course, the fashion. Something about the frontman’s presence really sold you on wanting to work with this band. You had immediately called Josh back and gotten to work on your first trial project for him.

Present day

“Alright so I’ll text you guys your tickets. The uber should be here in about 3 minutes, so we should head down to the lobby. There’s a couple other roadies that are gonna meet us there- it should be Jack, Damion and then Olivia and Ava. They’re just now getting into town so they’ll need to stop here first,” Jake explained, giving you an overview of the game plan. You knew Jack was one of their other tour managers, Damion was his assistant, Olivia did social media and Ava did both social media and marketing and helped Emily as a part-time assistant. You’d met them in passing and were excited to get to spend time with them. The camaraderie among the tour group was something you really were starting to enjoy, even if you were typically alone while you worked. 

The uber pulled up outside of the lobby and you all got in, the group letting you sit in the front seat. The drive to the park went quickly as you all listened to your driver recount the crazy things he’d seen throughout the day in the city. 

You’d pulled up your ticket on your phone as you all walked in, each person scanning their ticket before walking through the security process. You all met up on the other side, taking a moment to try to get your bearings. “I think our seats are over that way,” Danny said, gesturing to the left. “I thought they were that way,” Jake countered, pointing in the opposite direction. “I would’ve figured you guys would have a box or something, being rockstars and all,” you jested. Sam shrugged and finally spoke to you for the first time that day. “We could probably pull some strings.” Jake shook his head. “I just want a normal experience for once. We will be fine. Let’s get some beers first and then we can find our seats.” “Ah, yes, because alcohol makes everything easier to find,” Josh said with a chuckle. You couldn’t help but laugh, knowing there was some truth. “Oh, you know all about not being able to find things, don’t you, dear brother,” Sam taunted. The group got silent and you knew Sam had once again hit a nerve. Does he mean… sexually or literally? Either way, what a shitty comment Sam. Josh waved him off and linked his arm in yours on one side, Jake’s on the other before pulling you both along with him towards the bar.

After everyone had their respective drinks, Josh was able to find a worker and ask for directions, much to Jake’s chagrin. The group followed the slightly confusing directions and you were able to find your seats after a few minutes and many flights of stairs. You filed into your seats and sat. You turned to realize Danny was sitting on your left, and Sam was on your right. 

This won’t be awkward at all. 

You all sipped on your drinks as Josh flipped through a program, leaning over to show the group various things he found of interest. “I don’t even know what their mascot is supposed to be. Is it a dragon? Or like, a muppet-type thing?” Josh asked as he showed you a picture. “I think it’s supposed to be a bird,” Danny answered, his eyes trained on the field below. “He freaks me out,” Sam added, giving you a grimace. You nodded in agreement. “Look, he’s got a weird little tongue too,” Josh said, pointing to another picture, his face pinched in disgust. 

You stood for the national anthem and listened as a local singer belted out the words, rather poorly. “Should’ve asked me to do it,” Josh joked after you all had sat back down, “at least I would’ve been on key.” Jake snorted. “Have you ever sung the national anthem for anything like this?” you asked Josh. “No, I actually haven’t,” he replied as he took another sip of his drink. “They don’t typically want someone wailing for the national anthem,” Sam joked and Josh rolled his eyes. “I’d like to hear you do it. I think it’d sound pretty good,” you countered. Sam shifted beside you. “Don’t praise him too much, his ego is big enough already,” Danny warned and you laughed in response. 

“Well, it looks like the other group won’t be able to make it. They ended up getting in a fender bender just outside of the city and have to deal with that,” Jake announced. You all grumbled, sad they wouldn’t be able to join you. “Everyone is okay, right? Nobody got hurt?” Danny asked, clearly worried about the group. Jake confirmed that everyone was fine, albeit annoyed. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I need a refill,” Sam said, rising from his seat. Danny nodded, his eyes never leaving the game. Jake and Josh agreed and you stood too. “I’ll come help,” you said, figuring you needed to clear the air and that it was now or never. Sam’s face went still and you could tell he was panicking ever so slightly. “Uh, yeah, okay,” he replied as you both turned to descend the steps to the main part of the arena. 

“Look…” Sam started as soon as you were away from the noise of the crowd. You waited for him to continue. “I messed up last night. I completely misread the situation and I’m really sorry. Can we just pretend it never happened?” Sam asked, his voice drenched in anxiety. You nodded, placing your hand on his shoulder. “I’m really sorry Sam.” He shrugged. “It’s fine, really. It’s nothing,” he replied as he turned to continue walking in search of refills.

I don’t think it’s nothing, but at least it’s been addressed.

You followed him up to the counter of one of the park’s bars and listened as he ordered another round. He paid for the drinks, making sure to leave a decent tip. You grabbed your drink and Danny’s and Sam grabbed the other three. You made your way back to your seats in silence, following Sam as he weaved through the crowds. You both sighed with relief when you’d made it back, both of you unconsciously tense. Whether it be from the crowds, or the awkward silence between you, being back with the group eased the tension. 

You handed Danny his drink and he gave you a bright smile. The way the skin around his eyes crinkled when he smiled and his freckles bounced was truly gorgeous. 

Chill out, he’s just a man. 

You sat back down, Josh leaning over to fill you in on what had happened while you were gone, Danny translating when you couldn’t discern what Josh was talking about. You all laughed as you listened to Josh’s versions of events, including a recount of his spotting of the mascot. “Shit’s terrifying,” Josh said, gesturing to the green bird-like creature that was down on the field. 

You all made it to the bottom of the fourth inning before the drinks were gone and everyone was hungry. Josh offered to make this trip down to the concessions and you agreed to go with him so you could use the bathroom. “I can come help,” Danny offered but Josh waved him off. “Someone has to stay, watch and be able to update us,” Josh replied, gesturing at Jake, who was on his phone, and Sam, who was too busy watching the crowd to watch the game. “Text what you guys want in the group chat. And text me if that bird makes a move,” Josh instructed before taking the lead down the stairs. 

Once you had made it into the stadium, you pointed to the bathroom. “I’ll catch up with you!” you promised before darting into the bathroom. 

Josh was waiting for you outside of the bathroom when you emerged. He waited for me. “I only got asked for a picture once,” he chuckled as you walked towards the closest concession stand. “Really?” you asked and he nodded. “Super sweet group of girls! They’re in town for the concert tomorrow!” he said with a smile. He clearly loved the group’s fans, even if they could be intense. 

Josh pulled out his phone and read off the order to the concession stand worker when you arrived at the window. Everyone got hot dogs, except you and Sam- you’d opted for a pretzel and Sam for nachos. Josh paid for the order and you both carried the food back to the seats, Josh letting you walk first as he followed. 

You’d settled back into your seats and Danny was updating you on the game as Josh scanned the field for the mascot. “Is he actually scared of that thing?” you whispered to Danny. He gave you a look and nodded. “Ah, there’s the fucker,” Josh mumbled, pointing. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Josh, it’s not like he’s going to come up here and get you,” you reminded. He turned and gave you a serious and terrified look. “Don’t even say that,” he hissed, “you’ll manifest that shit.” The rest of you were in tears as you all laughed at his seriousness. “He’s always been like this,” Jake interjected and you stopped to look at Josh. “Josh, it’s a common fear! Something about not being able to see someone’s face is kinda scary,” you replied, reaching out to place a hand over his. He rolled his eyes and continued eating his hot dog.

Sam bought another round of beers from a vendor walking the stands at the top of the seventh. “I forget how long these games are,” Sam protested, handing you a beer. You cracked it open and took a sip before nudging him. “At least the home team is winning. I’m sure there’d be more people watching if they weren’t though.” He nodded and laughed before pointing to show you someone’s funny hat that he’d spotted earlier. Maybe we are okay. 

“Oh shit,” Danny grumbled, nudging you with his knee. You looked up towards where he was pointing and saw yourself on the big screen. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the caption on the screen- Kiss Cam! The camera was trained on you and Danny, the crowd egging you both on. You both shook your heads, but the crowd was relentless. You turned to look at him and he gave you a smile and shrugged. You nodded and you both gave in to the overwhelming peer pressure as Danny leaned forward to kiss you. 

He kissed you gently, his lips softer than you could’ve imagined. The kiss was only for a second, more of a peck than an actual kiss. He pulled away and turned to wave to the camera, you copied him as you forced yourself to laugh it off. 

The truth was that you hadn’t taken a breath the entire time and had to remind yourself when you began to feel lightheaded. “You okay,” Danny whispered. You nodded and took a sip of your beer, playing it off as you watched another couple fall victim to the camera. Sam had grown incredibly still beside you, clutching his can of beer. “Shit,” Jake mumbled and you all turned to look at him. He held his phone towards the group and Danny reached forward to take it. He tilted the screen towards you and you saw a tweet featuring you and Danny’s faces on the jumbotron with a caption that read “GVF is at the Phillies game?! WHAT?!” You had a sinking feeling in your stomach. “Shit,” Danny muttered before turning to Jake and Josh, “we gotta get out of here.” 

You grabbed your trash and headed down the stairs quickly. Jake pulled a security guard aside and tried to explain the situation to him, but it was too late. People around you had pulled out their phones and a group had gathered at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, shit,” Josh said, eyes wide. The security guard called over the walkie and received some instructions, ushering you towards a different exit. You followed him quickly, the group moving behind you. The guard swiped his key card and escorted the group into a room, telling you to hang tight and that someone would be with us in a moment. 

You realized where you were when you turned around. The guard had brought you to a private box. You walked over to the glass wall overlooking the field. “May as well watch the game,” you said as you sat in one of the cushy chairs facing the field. Josh and Danny nodded in agreement and took chairs on either side of you. Jake continued to pace near the front of the room, talking on the phone to someone. Sam was walking around the room, looking in cabinets and examining the framed pictures and memorabilia. 

A few minutes passed and you all turned to face the door when it opened. A woman and man walked into the room, moving to shake Jake’s hand and then Sam’s. You, Josh and Danny walked over to join the conversation. The woman shook your hands when you approached and introduced herself as Samantha, the PR person for the team. The man with her was a social media representative and introduced himself as Jack. You all exchanged pleasantries and you introduced yourself since you knew they likely wouldn’t know who you were.

 “We were wondering if we could do a PR-type thing for our social media? We will talk over the details with your management if you have their information,” Samantha inquired. Jake nodded and Sam butted in, “we were actually on our way out. We have a show tomorrow and…” Samantha cut him off, “oh, yes, we totally understand. But we think this could be a really good opportunity.” Jake pulled a business card out of his wallet and handed it to her. “Give our tour manager a call and let us know what she says,” Jake said before sending a few texts. Samantha nodded and left the room, Jack following closely behind her. 

“Fuck, I wish we could just go,” Sam complained, sinking into one of the plush seats. “I texted Emily and told her to decline on our behalf. Hopefully she can turn this woman down,” Jake countered, sitting down in the chair next to Sam. “They probably just want a couple of pictures. I’m sure it’ll be quick,” Danny offered, patting Sam’s shoulder. 

Samantha and Jack came back into the room carrying a few jerseys. “So we talked to your manager and she agreed that a picture would be good PR for both parties. So, we brought you guys some custom jerseys and if we could just get one picture, we will get you guys out of here,” Samantha said. The group had switched into their PR mode and willingly accepted, putting the jerseys on over their clothes. The door opened and a photographer walked in, holding the door for none other than the mascot that you’d seen walking the field. 

You turned to look at Josh, whose face had gone pale, eyes wide with panic. The other boys had started to laugh, but you realized Josh was barely holding it together. You quickly walked over to him and placed yourself between him and the obscenely large green fuzzy “muppet-looking thing”. You placed both hands on Josh’s shoulders and gently reminded him to breathe before playing off the move like you were straightening his jersey. He gave you a panicked look and Jake came over to stand next to Josh, finally realizing how freaked out he was. The photographer motioned for the group to move in front of the glass, and you grabbed everyone’s stuff to hold. Jake put a protective arm around Josh, making sure to keep himself between Josh and the mascot. The group lined up for a photo, Josh pulling out his acting skills to instantly relax his posture and pose for the photo. As soon as the flash went off and the photographer gave the okay, Josh darted over to you. He stood slightly behind you and you turned to play off the interaction as you giving him his jacket back. The mascot waved before being ushered out of the room, Josh sighing with relief once it was gone.

Samantha had arranged for an escort out of the box to an uber. You all prepared to step out of  the box, multiple security guards standing around you, although you still believed it was all overabundant caution. As soon as the doors opened, you realized you probably needed more security guards than you had. There was a huge group of people surrounding the box, all holding phones and yelling. They lined the walls as far as you could see, no break to be seen as you started to panic. 

You felt a hand intertwine with yours and you looked down to see Josh’s hand holding onto yours for a moment before he squeezed and let go, giving you a reassuring smile. Danny came up on the other side of you, putting his arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side protectively. The group began walking forward, leaving the safety of the private room, the noise level rising as soon as you stepped into the hall. 

Josh walked closely on your other side, Danny pressed against you on your other, Jake and Sam taking up the rear. The guys waved and smiled as they walked, occasionally moving closer together when the surrounding force of security was pushed inwards by over-excited people. You heard shrieking and turned to see a girl absolutely bawling as she pushed against the human security barricade, reaching out for Jake as he passed. He gave her a smile but continued on. 

The walk seemed to take forever, but you finally made it to a set of doors that led to the stadium’s back hallways. Once you made it through the doors, you felt yourself relax and Danny released his hold on you. “You okay?” Josh asked and you nodded. You really weren’t, but you knew you needed to put on a brave face. He reached out to squeeze your hand again, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand as you walked, returning some of the comfort you’d given him earlier. 

You made it to the back exit and Danny put his arm over your shoulder again as you emerged from the building. There were flashes of light from what you guessed were more fans before you all climbed into a waiting uber. You felt yourself breathe again when the car moved forward, security helping clear the way. 

The drive back to the hotel was quiet, everyone likely a little shaken up over the experience. “So much for a quiet night,” Jake muttered and you all laughed. 

Luckily the hotel was devoid of fans and you were able to get in without issues. “I’m starving. Do you guys want to order something?” Sam asked on the ride up to the seventh floor. Everyone agreed. “We have the biggest room, do you guys want to head there?” Josh suggested. Everyone once again agreed and you headed to their room once the elevator doors slid open. 

Once inside the twin’s room, you were able to fully relax, releasing tension you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. “I don’t know how you guys ever get used to that. It’s freaking scary,” you reflected as you took a seat at the table in the corner of the room. Jake chuckled, “it’s still a little nerve-wracking. But then I remember that they are all just excited and wouldn’t do anything to hurt us.” Josh nodded in agreement. “I don’t know, I think that kiss cam may have painted a target on our backs,” Danny joked, giving you a nudge as he took a seat next to you. “Yeah, I’m scared to see what twitter thought about that,” Jake added. “I’m sure people won’t even talk about it. Like, what a stupid thing to focus on,” you said. “I don’t know. There’s some groups that will absolutely spiral over anything. I have a feeling they’ll think you,” Jake pointed at you and Danny, “are an item. And we all know how that tends to go.”

The room was silent for a beat before you continued the conversation. “And what does that mean?” you asked, giving Jake a look. “He’s just being cryptic. It’s fine,” Danny answered, shooting Jake a look. “I hate to say it, but Jake’s right,” Sam added. “Look, can we just order some food? I’m hungry now and ready to get to relaxing,” Josh interrupted. He pulled up UberEats and you all decided on Indian. The order was placed and Jake flipped on the TV to find something for you all to watch while you waited. Josh immediately took over the remote, choosing an obscure movie none of you had heard of to watch.

About an hour later there was a knock at the door and Sam went to answer it. He brought the food in and set the bag on the table. You reached forward to help lay everything out, your hand gently grazing Sam’s for a split second before he jerked it away quickly. You brushed it off and  popped open your order, the smell of your favorite dish soothing you instantly. “I love Indian food. I think malai kofta would be my death row meal. If I could only choose one,” you revealed. Josh nodded intensely before giving you a grin. “It’s my favorite too. Indian food is,” he clarified. 

You all ate in silence as you continued to watch the movie. Jake groaned quietly and shifted to show Josh, who was sitting next to him on the floor, his phone. Josh made a disgruntled face and shook his head. “What is it?” you asked. Jake shook his head. “It’s nothing,�� was all he gave you as a response as Danny and Sam both reached down to check their phones simultaneously. “If something is going on, I’d like to know about it,” you countered. Jake sighed deeply before giving you an answer. “People are pissed. They think you and Danny are together and that’s why you’re being seen in all these different places with us.” 

You scoffed at him. “There’s no way. A couple of people are upset because I work for you guys? I think these people need to take a step back from social media,” you replied, taking another bite of your food. “It’s not just a couple of people,” Josh said quietly. You turned to look at him and stopped mid-chew after realizing the look he was giving you meant this was serious. “What,” you questioned. “People are… pissed,” Jake replied. “It’s just because people are jealous. They like to think they know our lives when they don’t. They see a single snippet and just run with it,” Danny said as he stood up from his spot near you, clearly exasperated. “Well, I’m not worried about it,” you waved their concerns off. “Maybe you should post something. Clear the air,” Jake suggested. “Clear the air of what?” you questioned. “That you and Danny aren’t a thing,” he clarified. “Oh, yeah. I can do that. What should I post?” you replied, trying to remain casual. 

Jake patted to the spot on the bed next to him and you went to sit by him. He helped you pick out a few pictures from the ones you’d snapped earlier. He put them in order on your instagram- first one of you with your pretzel standing in front of a railing overlooking the game, next one you’d had someone behind you take of the whole group, followed by a shot you’d taken of your beer in your hand with the field in the background. “Perfect. Caption it something about work,” Sam said as he leaned in to check your progress. “What about ‘work outing’ or something? You have pretty simple captions so that should work, right? Not too off-track from the usual?” Danny offered. You nodded and added the caption. “Do I tag you guys or what?” you asked. Jake nodded and you added the tags to the picture of the group. You posted and collapsed back on the bed. “Social media sucks,” you said quietly. Josh enthusiastically agreed as he threw his phone onto the bed, making a funny noise and flipping it off as it bounced, causing you to giggle. 

Danny and Sam walked you to your room after the twins kicked you out. It was about 1 am now, the events of the day were finally catching up to you. “Promise me one thing,” Danny said as he leaned against your door frame, catching the door before it closed behind you. You turned to face him, realizing he was standing very close to you. “Stay off social media tonight. Please,” he gently insisted. You nodded before telling him and Sam, who was standing over to the side, goodnight.

You went through your nighttime routine quickly, ready to climb under the fluffy hotel duvet and forget the day. Flipping off the bathroom light, you changed into your pajamas before slipping into bed, the cool sheets quickly warming with your body heat. After setting your alarm for 9:00 am so you could catch the end of the hotel’s breakfast, you placed your phone on the nightstand and shut off the lamp. Your phone called to you and you couldn’t push aside the overwhelming feelings of curiosity- what exactly had the boys seen that made them so concerned?

You wished you hadn’t looked. Sitting up in bed, you had tears falling down your cheeks as you clutched your phone to your chest. Danny had been right to tell you not to look online- twitter, instagram and even facebook were filled with a sea of disgusting comments and threats. There were comments about your body, your looks, the way you talked, the way you kissed, your art, even about the beer you’d drunk. Everyone had something negative to say, all of them angry at you. 

Work outing? As if she isn’t fucking all of them for the fame… gross

Is she their social media person? It’d check out… I figured it would be someone who is the epitome of a hot mess.

Danny’s really lowered his standards with this one.

All you would see when you closed your eyes were the nasty comments and awful edits people had made of you. Your face was plastered all over the fandom, not a single person willing to stick up for you. 

You cried yourself to sleep, the exhaustion from the past few days and the mental toll of so much hate eventually knocking you out.  

__________________________________________________________

As soon as the alarm went off, you groaned and slapped at your phone, begging the noise to stop. The memories of the previous night came rushing back, hitting you like a slap in the face. You rolled out of bed and headed into the bathroom, knowing you needed to hurry if you wanted to make breakfast.

You did as much damage control as you could, your face and eyes still exceptionally puffy and red from the night of crying. While brushing your teeth, you started to check the notifications on your phone before stopping and turning off notifications for everything but texts and calls. No use giving in to the hatred. They’ve done enough damage already. You slipped on a comfy two-piece set, grabbed your backpack and headed to breakfast. 

The dining room was mostly empty. You made a plate and found a seat in the corner before pulling out your sketchbook. May as well turn this negative energy into something positive. You’d started to design a final element for Jake’s Florida suit when Josh materialized in front of you, carrying a plate and his journal. He gestured to the seat across from you and you nodded. 

Josh sat down and looked at you, searching your face. Josh took a bite of his bagel and chewed for a second before speaking. “You looked. Didn’t you?” was all he said, his tone quiet and gentle. You were still looking down at your sketch, but nodded. Suddenly the tears came back, leaking down onto the drawing you’d been working on. Josh reached over and gently removed the pencil from your hand and pulled the sketchbook away from the splash zone. He took your now-empty hand in his and ran his thumb over the back of your hand, comforting you. “I’m so sorry,” was all he was able to choke out. You looked up at him. He wasn’t crying, but he was clearly hurting for you. 

Josh shook his head before continuing. “I love them so much. Most of them, at least. Most of them, they’re good people. They really take being a part of the Peaceful Army to heart, stand for what we stand for. But some of them are just…” he trailed off, lost in thought. “They’re just not good people. I almost wish we could just cut them out. All the hate, it’s just too much sometimes,” he finished quietly. You nodded and wiped your face. 

Sam walked over and pulled a chair up to the table, interrupting the moment. He started to eat, completely unaware of what was going on. It was only when Jake sat down across from him and put a caring hand on your shoulder that he realized something was wrong. 

“What’s up?” Sam asked, still slightly oblivious. Danny pulled up another chair and set his food down before putting an arm around your shoulders and giving you a squeeze. “I’m guessing you didn’t follow my request,” Danny said quietly and you nodded. “Oh shit,” Sam interjected, “how much did you see?” 

You wiped your face and decided to be brave. “Enough. People really have nothing better to do, huh?” you said with a stiff chuckle before taking a bite of your eggs. Jake, sensing your want to change the subject, pointed to the sketch you’d been working on. “Who is that for?” he asked, although he likely already knew the answer. “You, for sure. Who else would wear something like this?” you asked and he nodded in agreement before launching into a series of questions about the design and the elaborate beadwork you’d outlined for the back panel. 

You all headed back upstairs to pack up your belongings before boarding the buses and heading to the venue. Packing was getting easier and you were able to get loaded onto the bus quickly. You spent the extra time checking the outfits and making sure they were ready for their debut that night. 

Albert came back to check on you a little before 11 am. “Did you have fun last night?” he asked, clearly unaware of the drama that had ensued. You filled him in on the events from the night, leaving out the part about social media and the kiss. He listened, completely intrigued. “I’m so glad you have those boys to keep you safe from the crowds. I’d hate to see you get hurt.” He paused. “Well, get hurt again. Although I know that,” he gestured to your cheek, which was no longer as swollen, “was an accident.” You nodded in agreement and he headed up to the front to prepare for “take off” as he called it. 

You weren’t surprised to see Danny board your bus, but you were surprised to see Sam. “We figured we’d ride with you,” Sam said, giving you a smile. “If that’s okay,” Danny added, waiting for your confirmation. “The more the merrier!” you agreed. 

________________________________________________________

The venue staff had met you at the bus to help you get the wardrobe off. You’d placed everything into each member’s dressing room and were sitting in the sitting area outside the dressing rooms answering emails when you saw Josh. He came over and sat in one of the large chairs positioned next to the loveseat you sat cross legged on. “How was sound check?” you inquired. He shrugged and leaned back in the chair, uncharacteristically still. A few moments later, you heard his breathing slow and his leg twitched, a sure sign he was asleep. I wonder why he came out here. His dressing room furniture must not be very comfortable. You continued to work on emails, sending Jen a text update as you worked.

You saw Emily for the first time that day as she hurried by with a few members of the venue staff, carrying large trays of sandwiches. Emily nodded towards Josh and you nodded back, understanding the message. You leaned over and jostled Josh’s leg, hoping he’d wake up more easily this time. Sure enough, his head popped up and he gave you a questioning look before looking around the room. “I can’t believe I fell asleep,” he said, running a hand through his loose curls. “I can. It’s been a long day already. You sat down and instantly fell asleep,” you explained. “They just brought in sandwiches,” you pointed out, gesturing to the end of the hall. That was all it took to wake him up completely and he was on his feet in a second. “Come on,” he garbled, reaching for your hand and pulling you behind him gently. 

You and Josh made your sandwich selections and Josh chatted with some of the venue staff. “Can you go find Sam and send him down, please?” Emily asked you quickly as you walked by. You nodded and headed to find his dressing room. 

Sam’s door was closed and you knocked lightly. You waited, but there was no response besides some slight shuffling. You knocked again, this time a bit louder. “Uh… just a second!” you heard Sam call from behind the door. Shrugging to yourself, you took a seat in the chair outside his room and waited. 

A few minutes later, Sam popped his head out. “You okay?” you asked, noticing that his hair was sticking to trails of sweat on his face. “Oh, uh, yeah. What’s up?” he shot back, shifting uncomfortably. “Well, they brought sandwiches and Emily asked me to let you know. You’d better make a move, they’re going quick,” you informed, gesturing with your plate towards the end of the hall. “Okay, thanks,” Sam said quickly before shutting the door. That was weird. Shaking off the odd interaction, you headed back to your seat to continue with your email, which had gotten seriously backed up. 

Someone sat down in the chair next to you, so you looked up. “Hey, Danny,” you greeted with a smile, which he easily returned. “These are really good,” he replied, lifting his sandwich. You nodded in agreement and had just opened your mouth to respond when Sam’s door flew open. You and Danny both turned to watch a girl walk out quickly before a beat passed and Sam walked out behind her. She scurried down the hall and out of sight as Sam walked towards the sandwiches. Instantly, your eyes met Danny’s. He gave you a befuddled look and shrugged. 

Sam returned to your area a moment later, taking a seat on the other side of Danny before taking a bite of his sandwich. You and Danny both watched him, waiting for him to explain. Sam looked up from his sandwich and caught you both looking at him. “What?” he asked, his mouth full. Jake had made his way to the group and sat across from you, next to Sam. Danny shot Sam a look and he shrugged in response. “I don’t know what you guys are being weird about,” Sam shook his head, taking another large bite. Jake looked from Danny to Sam and then to you. “What’d he do?” Jake asked, taking a bite of his own sandwich. Josh walked quickly down the hall and took the chair on your other side, sipping from a paper cup as he assessed the group. “Who was that girl Sam?” Josh asked quietly.

Leave it to Josh to ask the million dollar question. You all watched him and waited for an answer. “Just some girl who works the venue,” Sam said casually. Jake rolled his eyes and sat back, “I thought you were going to quit doing this shit. Especially after what happened last tour.” The air grew incredibly tense. You stood, gathering your stuff, “I’m gonna go search for some help and get the wardrobe brought in.” Danny stood and followed. “I’ll come help.” You nodded and he followed behind you towards the back doors. 

Once you’d made it outside, Danny cleared his throat and ran a hand lightly over his curls, clearly uncomfortable. Once you’d input the code on the bus door, it opened and you both stepped inside, closing the door behind you. Danny leaned against the table, watching you as you gathered everything. 

You turned to face him. “Is everything okay?” Danny nodded and you turned back to your task. “I should probably explain,” Danny said as he reached out for the box of shoes you had pulled from the closet. You turned back to face him. “You don’t have to. Clearly there’s some history and an issue there. It’s none of my business.” He shook his head. “No, it’s not fair for you to be around the arguing and have no idea. Basically, at the end of the last tour, Sam had just broken up with his girlfriend and he went a little crazy, hooked up with a couple of girls, pretty irresponsible. It almost got him in some big trouble, especially from a PR standpoint.” 

Danny paused briefly before continuing. “Anyways, he spent time working on himself and we all figured he was coming into this tour really solid. As you can tell, he’s been really off. I think the whole thing is just a lot for him at the moment. Something really sent him for a loop, but I have a feeling he will get over it. Jake and Josh will lay down the law and it’ll be fine.”

You nodded slowly as you took everything in. I definitely have made everything about ten times worse. “That’s just… crazy,” you replied. I should just tell Danny. He’ll know what to do. “Actually, I feel like I may know what…” you started before you were interrupted by Jake storming onto the bus. 

“He’s an idiot. Doesn’t even see why he shouldn’t just be hooking up with random girls. Especially when we need to be focused,” Jake said, sighing with exasperation. You and Danny both turned to look at him as he took a seat on one of the benches, arms crossed. “Was he at least safe and…” Danny started. Jake nodded but pressed his pointer fingers into his temples as he did so.

The three of you stood in silence for a moment as you quietly pulled the night’s wardrobe from the rack, Danny taking pieces from you to hold. Danny cleared his throat once you’d gathered everything and Jake turned to look at him. “We need to get back inside. Let’s just try to focus on giving this group a good show, doing what we do best,” Danny said, giving Jake a tense smile. Jake nodded and grabbed the box of shoes and jewelry from the table before heading back to the venue.

You worked to quickly deliver the outfits to each dressing room, Jake and Danny recruiting venue staff to help. The three of you walked into Sam’s room last and found him laid out on a couch in the middle of the room, Josh sitting on the end. Josh gave Jake a look that, to you, looked like whatever conversation Jake had walked away from didn’t end well. Sam turned to look at the group. “What is this? Some kind of weird intervention?” Sam asked.  

Sam started to laugh, at first just chuckling before it turned into full fledged gasping for air. Clearly he found himself hilarious tonight. Sam pointed at you. “She didn’t even tell you guys, did she?” he asked between pants. “Tell us what?” Danny asked as he came into the room, assessing the situation. You looked at Sam and shook your head, trying to let him know that he really didn’t need to do this right now. “You know what? Never mind. Now, can I get dressed without an audience?” Sam finished, taking another sip of his drink. Everyone filed out, clearly having more questions than answers.

You found yourself back in the seat you’d sat in earlier, working on yet another project. This time, it was the side of one of Sam’s suits that you held in your lap as you applied beadwork around the embroidered flowers that decorated the fabric. Jake was the first one dressed and he came to show you. “Looks great, Jake. How does it feel?” you asked as you finished the flower you were on. He beamed at you as he inspected the dark blue suit adorned with light blue, lightning-type designs. “Feels great. I keep thinking that I’ve found my favorite suit, but each time you give me something new, I’m proven wrong.” 

He moved to sit next to you. “Do you know what Sam was talking about earlier?” Jake whispered. It’s not really my issue to tell. Obviously it’s affected Sam, and therefore it’s his embarrassing story to tell. “No idea,” you lied, turning back to start a new line of beads. Jake nodded, although you could tell he didn’t believe you. 

Danny came out next, finishing the prep on his drumsticks as he came to show you his outfit. “I like this one a lot,” Danny added as he finished placing the electrical-type tape around the bottom of the stick, ripping it with his teeth. He looked great in his slightly sheer cutoff shirt and dark blue pants that you’d painstakingly applied hundreds of rhinestones along the sides of. “I don’t know how you don’t rip your teeth out,” Josh said with a shiver as he came to stand in front of you, doing a little theatrical twirl. He looked stunning in his latest jumpsuit. It wasn’t as ornate as his other ones, but the light blue fabric with shimmery overlay and rhinestone swirls looked perfect on him.

Sam was the last to join the group, his outfit your favorite of the lot. This suit didn’t have a wing like some of his other suits, but the feather and wing-type application of lighter colored threads on the lapels still gave a nod to birds. His dark blue lame-type pants completed the ensemble. You’d been a little worried about putting men in pants adorned with glitter and sparkles, but everything tied together flawlessly. “You guys look great. Have an amazing show,” you grinned as venue staff ushered them towards the stage. 

There was no monitor backstage, so you could only discern what was happening based off of the crowd and music you could make out from behind multiple walls. Your hands moved quickly as you worked to finish Jake’s jacket for Georgia. No idea why I’m working on this when I need to finish Sam’s jacket for the next show. Georgia is in like, 3 weeks. You decided to get out of your own head, remembering that bead work takes longer than the other types of embellishment you’d be using. 

Time flew by as you worked, your hands cramping from the repetitive movements. You snapped a picture of your progress and sent it to Jen, who had been incredibly busy on a new project. You were hunched over, fingers moving furiously when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You nearly jumped out of your skin, arms flying up and making contact with the person standing over you as you lurched backwards. 

“It’s just me! I’m sorry!” Danny exclaimed, instantly removing his hand. “Shit, sorry Danny!” You instinctively reached out to place a hand over his side where you’d smacked him. You felt him start to move away at your touch before he stopped, letting your hand rest on his side. You felt him breathe in steadily, your hand moving with his side. Breaking from your trance, you removed your hand before smiling shyly. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to whack you. You okay?” you asked. Danny gave you a grin and nodded. “It takes a lot more than that to hurt me. I grew up with the Kiszkas, okay?” he joked. Josh appeared next to Danny, giving you a wide smile. “How’d it go?” you inquired, both of them shrugging. Josh turned to look behind him before whispering his answer. “We were a little off. Jake’s still pretty pissed and Sam was just… off. Like he’s been.” 

Danny nodded and continued, “it still went pretty well though, considering. The crowd was really great.” Jake walked up and poked Josh in the side, causing him to jump sideways into Danny. Josh shot him an annoyed glance before turning to head back to his dressing room. “That looks great,” Jake panted, still slightly out of breath as the adrenaline wore off. “It’s coming along!” you replied, turning it to show him. You saw Sam head into his dressing room, luckily alone. Danny and Jake gave you a wave before heading in their respective directions to shower. Time moved quickly and soon you were loaded back on the bus, Josh seated on the floor scribbling furiously in his journal while Jake plucked away on a ukulele he’d shown up with. 

“Can we ride with you?” Josh had asked as you’d all been whisked out to the back door of the venue. “Of course,” you had replied, grabbing Josh’s bag from his shoulder as he headed over towards the group of fans gathered by a fence surrounding the backlot. Jake held his bag out for an assistant helping you all out, nodding towards you before following the group towards the fence. The assistant followed you onto your bus, a small group carrying the wardrobe behind you. You orchestrated where all of the various bits and pieces of the outfits went while placing you and Josh’s stuff on the main table, everyone moving quickly.

Now a hush fell over the bus aside from the scribbling of Josh’s pencils and gentle melodic plucking from Jake. You liked when the twins rode with you- their energies mellowed out as exhaustion fell over them and they brought positive, creative energy to your space. You’d finished Jake’s jacket and moved on to finishing stringing beads and embellishments on Sam’s jacket. You never really worried about the weight of his jackets because he almost always shed the jacket after the first song or two, opting to go bare-chested. 

The strings of glittery material made slight tinkling noises as you added them to the jacket, stringing them carefully in various patterns. You were using a form to hold the jacket upright and were having issues with the angles. “Fucking hate these things,” you muttered to yourself after sticking yourself in the same finger for the third time that night, turning to fumble in your bag for a bandaid as your finger started to bleed. 

“Oh god, are you okay?” Josh asked, standing up and coming over to you. He grabbed a tissue from a box sitting on a table by the bench and took your hand in his, inspecting your finger. “I usually don’t prick myself this hard, but I’ve hit the same damn spot like, three times,” you said, exasperated as he pressed the tissue onto the spot. He took the bandaid from you and carefully applied it before looking up at you. “You good?” he asked and you nodded. “Thanks,” you replied quietly as he threw the trash in a bin and went back to his spot on the floor, resuming his coloring as if nothing had even happened. 

You inspected the bandaid. He had wrapped it carefully around your finger, ensuring that you had full mobility of the joint so you could continue working. You looked over at him, blissfully unaware of how touched you were at his gesture. Jake’s phone started to ring and he answered it, having a quick conversation with whoever was on the other end. He hung up the call and sat up, turning to face you and Josh who were watching him. “We are going to stop and get gas in a few minutes. There’s a couple of places in the same complex where we can grab dinner,” Jake updated you. “Should I go tell Albert or does he know?” you asked. Jake shrugged so you headed up to the front of the bus to check in with Albert.

“Hey honey, what’s up?” Albert asked. You smiled at the name. “Did you hear from Dean? I think the other bus is planning to stop.” He nodded and pointed to the walkie talkie he had placed on his dash before giving you a wink. “Oh, I should’ve figured,” you laughed and he gave you a grin. “I appreciate you coming to check on me though. We should be stopping in about,” he paused and looked at the GPS attached to the dash of the bus, “ten minutes.” “I’ll let them know,” you said as you turned to head to the back of the bus. 

“We are about ten minutes out,” you let Jake and Josh know before you continued your project. You were able to get a few more strings onto the jacket before the bus came to a stop. Your group of three filed off, Albert promising to pick you up in the same place after he got gas. Danny and Sam walked over to you and your group headed into the gas station. 

“Well, I guess our options are Wendy’s and… gas station burritos,” Sam said, gesturing to the ‘closed’ sign on the door to the adjoined Taco Bell. Josh made a face at the suggestion of a gas station burrito, taking off in the direction of the Wendy’s. Everyone followed behind him and lined up to order. 

The food came out quickly and Jake checked to make sure the orders were split up correctly before handing Sam and Danny’s food to Danny. Jake headed out towards the bus without another word, carrying the rest of the food. Danny and Sam looked at each other and headed out behind him. “Well, I guess you’re stuck with us for the rest of the night,” Josh joked, putting his arm through yours as you followed behind everyone else. “I’d more so say you're stuck with me and my tinkling,” you laughed as Josh bumped hips with you. Everything seemed more fun with him around, so you didn’t mind at all that he’d be joining you, likely overnight. 

You got back on the bus and checked in on Albert, who was eating what looked to be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, before heading back to find your food laid out at what had been designated as “your” spot at the table. Josh sat to your right and Jake to your left at their respective spots. 

You all ate in silence as the bus headed back onto the interstate. Jake cleared his throat and looked over to you, waiting a moment before speaking. You watched him carefully as you waited. “Thanks for your help today. I know you didn’t sign on for all this. But I, we, appreciate it.” Jake spoke quietly, but you knew his words carried a lot of meaning. Jake was the quietest of the group so when he spoke, people were sure to listen. A man of fewer words than his twin, you knew he chose to speak with deliberation. You gave him a sincere smile and nodded. “I just hope things are okay.” Josh brushed Jake off with his hand. “Things will be fine. We just needed some time away from Sam. He hasn’t been making the best choices lately and we miss his goofiness. We’ve been missing that a lot this tour, but he will get it back.” You nodded and turned back to your potato as you all continued to eat in now comfortable silence.

Josh fell asleep on the bench again, journal rising and falling on his chest as he breathed deeply. Jake had made his way to the top bunk in the back shortly after 1 am, choosing comfort. You continued to work until about 3 am before checking in with Albert, who let you know you were still about seven hours from your destination. You warmed up his coffee for him in the microwave before brushing your teeth, changing into comfy clothes and making your way to your bunk, careful to roll into the bed quietly so as not to disturb Jake. You fell asleep to the swooshing of the tires on the road, hoping things would get a little easier. 

Little did you know things were going to be getting a lot messier.

Taglist: @eyelinerjake @radmads-gvf

[jisungsplatforms]

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x (afab) reader

Genre: NSFW! Smut yeye; established relationship

Warnings: Mature content! (DNI if uncomfortable or UNDERAGED); language, fingering (main thing of the fic if i’m being honest), slight power play, degradation, liiitle bit of a praise kink (but the degrading kink overpowers it lol), use of pet names/name calling, pornography(?)/erotic filming, mention of safe word (not actually used), squirting, idk what else. (no PIV this time boohoo)

“You-you wanna what?”

Seungmin’s face uncharacteristically burned a bright red; his confidence was suddenly nowhere to be seen. “I said, uh, is it okay if I filmed you getting...fingered?”

You could only stare at him in disbelief. You weren’t gonna lie, you were caught off guard by your boyfriend’s request. It wasn’t something you thought you would never hear him ask, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t like it. Seungmin chewed on the inside of his cheek out of nervousness.

“You know what? Nevermind. You probably didn’t like that. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, Y/n. Just forget it.”

Before he could turn away, you tugged his arm back. “No! It’s not that, it’s just...why?”

He turned his face away from you and muttered, “I just want something to remember you bye.” Ah yes, it was now comeback season again, so that means you have to surrender your boyfriend back to his band mates.

“Remember me bye?” you giggled, “You’re just gonna be staying at the dorms again, not leaving the country. You can still visit me anytime you want.”

Seungmin groaned in agitation. “But- ah, nevermind. Just tell me you don’t want to! I’m already embarrassed enough!”

You laughed at his innocent looking face, albeit the lewd request he was asking not even a minute ago. “No, no! I do want it! I just didn’t expect that you’d be the type to want this kind of stuff. It’s kind of hot actually.”

“So, is that a yes?” he muttered, still refusing to look at you in the eye. You tenderly grabbed his face to turn it to yours and kissed him.

“Please ruin me.”

With that, a switch in Seungmin was turned on. Literally. He roughly took your arm and dragged you to your room. The fire in his eyes and the way manhandled you was almost enough to make you cream yourself. Throwing the door open, he practically shoved you into the room, nearly making you stumble. He lets go of your arm to slam the door shut and walked to your closet to get a towel. Reaching for the pink one on top, he took it and laid it on your bed. You stayed in your place in front of the door, unsure of what to do, until Seungmin beckoned you.

“What’re you doing? Come on, pup.”

Pup. Your face burned at the name, feeling the stickiness between your legs increase. You waddled to your bed as Seungmin stacked both of your pillows on top of each other on the edge of your bed. He takes his phone- which was underneath one of the pillows he took- and propped it against them. He swiped left to activate the camera and switched to video mode. He turned you first before he started filming. “Are you sure?” His warm, chocolate eyes were soft and full of concern but his dominant aura was still very much present.

You responded by sitting on top of the towel and spreading your legs. “Want you to fuck me dumb with your fingers, master.” You provocatively rub your thighs, making sure Seungmin sees your thumb brushing against your core. His eyes flickered to your thumb before narrowing. He gave a dry chuckle while rolling his eyes.

“You nasty mutt.”

He quickly glanced at his phone to press the record button then attacked your lips. The forcefulness of the kiss made you gasp, which Seungmin used to his advantage by latching his left thumb onto your jaw and shoving his tongue into your mouth. You whimpered, feeling him suck on your tongue. Squirming, you tried scooting closer to Seungmin’s arm that was directly in front of your sopping core. Catching on to that, he moved his arm to roughly grip your hip, pushing it down. His other hand moved from your face to the back of your head, gripping your hair.

“Dirty slut. No need to be so impatient.”

You whined, tears starting to form in your eyes, as he moved away from you, thinking he was going to get some ribbons to tie you down. Instead, Seungmin pushed the pillows and phone back to get a better view of the both of you. “Be a good little whore and keep your eyes on the camera.” He moves back and sits behind you, trapping you between his long legs. His big hands rubbed the inside of your thighs the same way you did as he kisses your neck. You resist the urge to moan, biting your lip when his thumb pressed against your clit. Not hearing the reaction he craved for, he rolls your clit with more pressure and harshly bit the juncture of your shoulder, making you moan out loud.

Smiling, Seungmin licks and kisses his bite mark and rests his hands on the waistband of your little shorts. Feeling his fingers slightly move on your hips, you get his message and shimmy out of your shorts and panties, displaying your drenched core to the camera. Seungmin hummed at the sight of your pretty pink pussy on the screen. “Look how pretty my little mutt is,” he muttered more to himself. You still caught on to what he said and blushed, not saying anything. You sit back down and relax against his chest as he went back to rubbing your thighs. “See how pretty your pussy looks, whore? How you’re so wet that you can see it glistening on the screen?”

You squirmed and whined on his chest, coaxing his hands onto your pussy. Seungmin, however, didn’t like that, apparently. He slapped your thigh with one hand and grabbed your face with the other. “Now, now. Behave and master will give you what you want,” he said, his thumb rubbing your jaw. “Understood?”

You nodded maniacally. “Yes sir! I’m sorry! I’ll behave for master from now on! Promise!”

“Good.”

Seungmin softly pecked your lips then plunged two of his long fingers into your core, making you moan loudly from the sudden intrusion. Not giving you enough time to adjust, he immediately set a pace that was faster than usual. You gasped and whined and moaned from just his fingers alone; the feeling of his digits rubbing your delicate, spongey walls made you feel dizzy. Once in a while, you glanced at the camera, seeing the lewd sight in front of you, an intense feeling of shyness overcoming you. You moved your hands from the bedsheets to grip onto Seungmin’s arm and thigh instead. With the curl of his fingers, he hit your sweet sweet spot, making you let an embarrassingly loud whine. You started to buck your hips to meet his arm, making Seungmin pin your waist down.

“Master!” you stuttered, “ ‘M close! Your puppy is so close, ah!”

Seungmin smirked and started to pump his fingers faster. “Yeah? Gonna cum a lot for master, pup?”

“Yes! Oh my- fuck- yes!” Your eyes were glazed and out of focus. What were you looking at? You didn’t even fucking know. Seungmin revelled at the sight of your fucked out expression, an expression he caused with just his hands. He adored the feeling of your wall clenching tighter and tighter around his fingers. Knowing you were close to your orgasm, he moved his thumb to your clit and rubbed it as well. You let out a pleasured scream.

“Fuck!”

You cummed all over his hands, trembling. Seungmin slightly slowed down his pace, not showing any signs of stopping. He moved his hand back to your thigh, stroking it to calm you down and pry your legs wider for him. You breathed heavily, your hole still pulsating. You were about to ask Seungmin if was going to stop and fuck you with his cock instead when he started pumping his fingers again, but faster. A mixture of pain and pleasure set in your core from the oversensitivity. “Seungmin!” you cried. “Fuck! It hurts! Wait!”

“Really?” he asked rhetorically. His tone sounded bored, which, for some reason, turned you on even more. “Does it really hurt you, mutt? Or are you just being dramatic?” You whimpered, shaking your head. You tried speaking but only unintelligible slurs and moans came out of your mouth.

“Come on. Use the safe word. If you really can’t take it, use it,” he said, half taunting, half out of genuine concern. The way you arched your back and threw your head back with shut eyes was enough to let him know that it was something you were actually enjoying rather than hating. Seungmin scoffed, “See? I knew you can take it, filthy whore.”

Because of the over sensitivity, your high was coming to its climax quickly. You tightened the grip on his arm, pushing it closer to your pussy. Your other hand was now on the back of his neck, clawing at it. He took his hand off of your thigh and lifted your oversized shirt, exposing your tender breasts to his phone camera. He squeezed and pulled on your nipples. You were already sobbing from the pleasure at this point.

“Close again, pup?”

You nodded, licking your dry lips. Seungmin moved his left hand to play with your clit again, pinching and circling it. The pitch of your moans increased. One harsh tug of your clit triggered your sweet release, whining desperately this time. You whispered a weak stutter, “Oh my-!”

Instead of stopping or slowing down, Seungmin only continued his abuse on your core, overstimulating you again. You whined and hissed, looking back at the camera to see your boyfriend’s cum-covered fingers moving in and out of your red pussy, cum leaking out with every thrust. You eyes rolled back at the erotic sight, your head back onto his broad shoulders. “M-Master.”

“Come on, slut. One more can’t hurt. I know you can do it, beautiful.”

You bit your lip and hid your blushed face in his neck. The feeling of your hot breath fanning against his neck made Seungmin giddy. His left hand was back on your hips, making it difficult for you to move around. “Aw, how cute. Puppy can’t keep still,” he laughed condescendingly. “Bet you can’t talk anymore either, can you?”

You didn’t respond to, let alone hear, any of Seungmin taunts. The sound of your labored breathing and the squelching of your wet sex was the only thing your mind had the capability of listening to now. Getting an intrusive thought all of a sudden, you were suddenly aware of the embarrassingly loud moans you were letting out. You covered your mouth in an attempt to muffle your lewd noises. Seungmin immediately took notice of this and pried your hand away from it.

“Ah ah, little one. Too late for that now,” he grinned. “Besides. I want our neighbors to hear how good I make you feel. That no one but me can pleasure you how I can.”

“Yes,” your voice cracked. “No one. Only you can make me feel this good, master.”

“Yeah? What are you then, pup?”

“I’m master’s little fuck toy. Your nasty little mutt.”

Seungmin giggled. “Good pup.” He buried his face into your neck, making you lean your head to grant him more access, and kissed and sucked hickeys onto it. He pumped his fingers even faster than before, one finger curled to rub your sweet spot, the other stretched out to hit your cervix. Your throat was already hoarse from all the screaming and gasping you’ve been doing. Tears continued spilling out of your dazed eyes and your lips were as red as your abused cunt. To say you looked erotically disgusting was an understatement.

To Seungmin though, you looked like an absolute sex god, loving how ruined you look. Tears of pleasure streaming down your face, eyes shut tight. Your shirt throwing over your chest, breasts heaving from your labored breathing. Neck stretched out and exposed, showing off your pretty bite marks and hickies to the camera. Legs trembling, trying to their best to not squeeze themselves shut. Seungmin thought he could cum untouched just looking at you. You screamed; you were on the brink of insanity.

“Holy shit.” Your grip tightened even more, your hips bucked, and your breathing got heavier. You were close to your third release of the night. The heat in your stomach, however, felt even more intense than the last two times. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Seungmin!” you stuttered his name. “Holy fuck, I’m so so so fucking close. Shit!”

You shut your eyes tightly, your head thrown so back over his shoulder and your mouth so wide open. He harshly bit your shoulder again, triggering your release. You let out the most pornographic moans Seungmin had ever heard from you. You were spasming, the feeling of your orgasm was overwhelming.

“Holy crap, Y/n,” Seungmin gasped. You slowly peaked your eyes open to see your boyfriend’s expression through the phone. His eyes and mouth were wide open, vaguely looking prideful. He wasn’t looking at your face though, his eyes were down at your sensitive area. You looked down to see what got Seungmin so proud. Lo and behold, you see his fingers still inside your clunt, covered in a clear, glistening substance. You narrowed your eyes to see clearly. You then noticed that that liquid was spread all over the towel and a little bit on the bed. Your eyes widened almost comically once you realized what it was.

H-holy shit. I-

“O-oh. Oh wow. Holy- I made you,” he slowly pulled out his fingers, making you wince at the emptiness. “I made you squirt! Oh my gosh!” He laughed cutely. You smiled at his accomplishment.

“Congratulations,” you said, cringing at the raspiness of your tone. “‘Think that was my first time doing that.”

Seungmin smiled brightly, leaning forward to kiss your forehead.

“You did so well for me, beautiful. Good job,” he said softly. You smiled, relaxing your stiff body on his chest. He wiped his soiled hand on the towel to rub your back with both hands. The two of you cuddled, waiting for you to come back down from your high. Seungmin kissed your knuckles and leaned forward to get his phone and stop the recording. He patted you down with the towel after, then moved the pillows back to their place, pushing you to make you lay on the bed. He covers you with a warm blanket, waiting for your legs to relax.

“You know...If you have a video of me like that on your phone now...I think it’s only fair if I have one of you too?”

Needless to say, it was a long sexy night.

A/n: This was an impromptu(kinda?) collab with @seungmoomin so check out Nia’s version on their blog!! <3

[write-orflight]

Watch Over Me: Chapter One

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Rating: M

Words: 3.2K

Warnings: none for this chapter: innuendo, language

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Steve Rogers learns about the future from a woman stuck in the past.

A.N This is my jazz club reader fic I’ve been talking about writing. This fic isn’t gonna be long but I like it so I hope yall do too. I’m not using my perm taglist because it’s different than my normal content. reply, message, or inbox to be tagged. Devil Has Lilith will be updated Saturday.

Slang used in this chapter:

Dish: An attractive Woman

Butter and egg man: The money man, the man who comes to town to blow a big wad in nightclubs.

Dip the bill: Have a drink.

Corn: Bourbon

Cake-eater: A ladies’ man

Jalopy: An old car.

Drop a dime: Make a phone call

Chapter 1: There's a somebody I'm longin' to see 

“I can’t watch this anymore!” Tony said storming into the compound’s kitchen one night.  Steve looked up from his sketchbook in confusion. “I can’t watch you sit in here another friday night. It’s tragic!” 

“Ugh, not this again, Tony.” Steve says, sighing. Nat and Bucky begin snickering next to him, knowing where the conversation was going. 

“Yes, this again. Cap, I excused it for the first couple of years because you were adjusting to the times but it’s been years! If you’re not on a mission, you don’t go out! Sometimes, when Pep is having trouble sleeping I describe your social life to her, puts her right slee--” 

“Alright, I get it!” Steve cuts him off, slapping Bucky, who was in full hysterics at this point, in the arm. “I know my personal life is--” 

“Non-existent?” Nat provides.   

“Dead?” Tony adds, laughing.  

“But it’s my personal life. I’m over 100 years old. If I looked it, you guys wouldn’t be questioning my staying home.”   

“Exactly, if you looked it, I wouldn’t. But you are not that old yet.” Tony says. “Come on, let’s just all go out once. If you don’t like it, I’ll never make you go out again. I’ll even get you a coloring book or a model ship, or whatever old people do.” 

“Fine.” Steve sighed, as the man next to him cheered. “But nothing like those places you typically go to. They’re too noisy and sweaty and--” 

“Yea I got it, old-timer. We’re not going anywhere like that.” Tony provides. “My friend recently opened a restaurant where their back room is a speakeasy, very accurately themed, you need a password and everything to get in. You’ll fit right in.” 

“Prohibition ended in the 30s.” Bucky says. “Long before Stevie could even drink.” 

“Even still, work with me a little here.” Tony says. 

“Fine.” Steve sighs.  

“Awesome. Now, you’ve got to come in costume to these things so I’ve already taken the liberty of telling my tailor to make you guys something.” 

“What if I had said no?” Steve asks. 

“Oh, Cap. You should know by now I don’t take no as an answer.” 

----------------------------------------------

  Steve shifted uncomfortably in his uniform. It was almost exactly like the one he would wear out during down times in the war though he knew it wasn’t the real one as that one was in the Smithsonian. Still, Tony’s tailor did a good job with seemingly all the costumes. Tony looked almost identical to how Steve remembered Howard back in the day. Bucky was in a uniform that looked similar to his back in the day, Glove covering his metal hand. Natatsha was in a sleek red gown, white gloves and pearls that was more modest than he’d seen her wear but still made her look drop dead gorgeous. 

Tony led them down a dark alley to what seemed to be a back door. Steve looked around confused as they entered the smokey hallway. At the end of the hallway there were two large doors and a lady with pinned up hair and a black shimmery dress, smoking with her feet propped up on the desk she was sitting at. 

“Evening gentlemen.” She croons in an english accent. “And lady. Are you lost?” 

“We have a meeting with Dr. Volstead.” Tony says, confidently. 

The woman tilts her head back giving all of you a once over. “It’s a nice night, isn’t it?” She asks. 

“Yes, it is. But I prefer the rain.” Tony says.  

With that the woman stands and walks over to the large doors and knocks rhythmically 3 times. The doors open to reveal a large dance hall where couples are in full swing, laughing and drinking. A trio of girls crooned a faced paced song as a jazz band was playing behind them. For a moment, Steve did actually forget he was in the 21st century. 

“Enjoy Paradise, my friends.” The woman smiles, before shutting the doors to the outside world. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were in the kitchen, taking a much needed headache break from the facade you had been putting up for your tables all night long when your Co-worker, Dalia, came up to you. 

“Y/N, Y/N! You have to trade tables with me.” 

You looked at her with a suspicious look. “Why?” 

“Come on, It’s a 4-top anyway. I’ll even trade you the party table for it.” That made you even more suspicious. “50 bucks for it, come on.” 

“Don’t trade, Y/N/N!” Your co-worker and friend/roommate, Jade added. “Tony Stark is in your section. I bet she only wants to give you 50 for it because she knows she’ll make 500.” 

“Come on, that’s not even why.” Dalia groans. “Black Widow is also at your table and you know she’s on my ‘Celebrities I have to fuck before I die’ list.” 

“God, are the rest of the avengers here?” You ask. 

“Not all but you know who is here?” Jade asks. “Steve Rogers.” She says, in a mocking singsong tone, jabbing you. Your crush on Captain America wasn’t really a secret anymore after you confessed it drunk one night. “And he looks almost edible.”  

You hum, you didn’t really feel like taking another table but this wasn’t a normal table. You doubt you had a chance but you weren’t passing up on serving Steve Rogers. 

“I’ll make you a deal. I still want that 50 bucks and we share the table, I’ll consider splitting the tip.” You say, the idea of making your rent in a night did appease you. 

“Deal.”

“Now ladies, I have a song to do.” You say, leaving the girls behind in the kitchen. 

—————————————-

Steve, for the first time in a while it seemed, was having fun. Tony was right, he did feel like he fit right in here. He clapped with the crowd, as the three girls bowed and left the stage. The piano man stood up and took the microphone Steve could tell was only styled to look old but actually wasn’t that old. 

“One more time for the Duclaw sisters folks.” The smooth voiced man said into the microphone, inciting another round of applause from the crowd. “Our next performer is actually the last of the night.” That incited a few ‘awws’ of disappointment. “Don’t cry just yet because Old Gary never disappoints, our next performer is my personal favorite. Sings like a Canary and the Cat who caught it.” That induces a laugh from the crowd and a small chuckle from Steve. “And maybe if you’re good she’ll come on for an encore later. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Sultry Sounds of Y/N L/N.” He says, moving from the mic back to the piano as the crowd cheers. Steve watches the stage as arguably the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen seems to glide out from the backstage. She’s wearing a floor length silver gown that seemed to glimmer with every step she took. Her hair came down in long fingerwaves, pinned back so you could see the sculpt of her face. Steve would be lying if he said that wasn’t his favorite part of her facade. She had on simple eyeliner, foundation, and a bold red lip he could probably see from mars. You were beautiful, in a timeless sort of way. 

“My, my.” She crooned in an sultry old new york accent that reminded Steve of the women he grew up around. “What would your wife say if she knew I was your favorite, Old Gary?” 

“She’d agree!” The man called from the piano, inducing the chuckle from the crowd. And a deep sultry one from you. 

“Well as they say, two’s just fine but three’s a party.” She winked at the old man in a way that would make Steve weak if he wasn’t already sitting. 

“You ok there, Cap?” Tony said, snapping Steve out of the mystery woman’s trance. “You disappeared for a second.” 

“I’m fine.” Steve said, fighting the flush that threatened to spread over his face. He looks out the side of his eye to Bucky, who was smirking at him knowingly. Of course, he knew. 

“You know, you saying something about being good got me thinking, Old Gary.” She said, as the man softly played behind her. “A good man is hard to find. Great men are great, bad men are good sometimes too.” She winked to the crowd. “But every girl wants a good man, someone to watch over her.” Old Gary seems to take the cue to start playing her song. 

“There's a saying old, says that love is blind. Still we're often told, ‘seek and ye shall find’” She began singing and it made Steve sit up in his seat. She had the kind of voice that was almost beckoning. She was becoming his own personal siren. “So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind”  

“She’s a looker, huh?” The server, who introduced herself as Dalia, said as she sat down Bucky’s drink. “Y/N’s the main dish of this place.” 

“I think I’m more interested in you, doll.” Bucky flirted, shamelessly. 

“And I think I’m more interested in dames, Soldier.” She says, winking to Natasha who smiles coyly at her. Steve hardly pays them any mind as his focus was on you as you finished your song and thanked the crowd and waved while Old Gary helped her off stage. 

------------------------------------------ 

You were changing from your stage outfit into your floor outfit when Dalia burst into the locker room.

“Y/N/N, I actually think I might have a chance with Widow. I mean, she’s kinda been ignoring me the whole night but when I mentioned I was into girls she smiled!” Dalia ranted, excitedly as you nodded. You turned your back to her so she’d get the clue to zip you up which she does. “Also, you should’ve seen the way Steve Rogers was watching you sing. He totally wants to hit that.” That makes you perk up a bit. 

“I doubt it. I have it under good authority that he hasn’t hit anything in over 70 years. I doubt I’m what he’s been waiting for.” You laugh. “Still, it’s fun to think about.” 

Dalia tugs you out of the locker room. “Come on, let's get back out there.” 

You sighed before stepping out of the locker room and seemingly out of this century. 

You fake laughed with a guest at the bar as you grabbed your tray of drinks and made your way over to the table that had been making you nervous all night. You placed the four whiskey rocks drinks on the tables. 

“Courtesy of Dean.” You say, placing the drinks down. Stopping at Tony Stark. “Don’t know why? You seem to be the butter and egg man out tonight. 

“Butter and egg?” He asks, looking to Steve and Bucky. 

“Means money man, High roller.” Bucky explains, Steve nods. 

“Ah, well I am that.” Tony says, laughing. “I must say Miss, what was it? Y/N?” You nod confirming. “I have to say you are quite the performer.” 

“Thank you kindly, Mr. Stark. Go ahead, dip your bill.” You say pointing to the drink, Hoping they’d get the hint. They did of course, after seeing Steve and Bucky take a sip. You watch Steve grimace slightly at the taste of the liquor. 

“Everything alright, fella?” 

You watch Steve flush at the attention being tossed his way. You can’t help the confident smirk that graced your face knowing it was you that had Steve Rogers flustered. “I’m fine, I just don’t enjoy the taste.” 

You hum. “Yea, it’s the big cheese’s favorite drink and he’s known for liking it rough.” You wink, somehow making Steve flush more. That made you want to push it more. “I’ve got some corn in the back they call the Y/N because it feels really good when it’s going down.” That makes Steve choke a little and induces a hearty laugh from the group. “Can I get you a glass, Soldier?”  

“Y-Yea, I’d like that.” Steve flushes. It was almost fun at this point. 

“I’d love to try the real thing.” Bucky says, flirting right back with a smirk you knew has to make every girl in the 40s weak in the knees. You didn’t indulge him though. 

“Well, aren’t you a regular cake-eater.” You smirk. “I’ll be back with two glasses.”  

“I see the serum didn’t enhance your ability to talk to pretty girls.” Bucky laughs as you want away. Steve can’t help but become a little distracted by the sway of your hips. 

The rest of the night seemed to go like that. You bringing them drinks and flirting with the captain anyway you could just to see the pretty flush that spread across his face. But soon the time came for the superheroes to take their leave. As you sat the check in front of Tony, you brushed a hand over the Captain’s shoulder admiring the broadness of them. 

“You’ll come back and see me, Sugar?” You say, phrasing it like a question despite it not really being one. Steve nods, dumbfounded by you. You smile and wink at him before walking away. 

You’re in the kitchen eating the pizza you had ordered earlier when your manager, Dean comes out of his office for the first time that shift. 

“Y/N!” You roll your eyes when you hear him scream your name. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“I’m eating dinner. Something I could’ve done on my break if I ever got one.” 

“You know you’re not supposed to be eating anything that couldn’t be made in the 30s. People pay for the illusion and if they see you gorging yourself on pizza, it ruins it.” 

“No one’s looking in the fucking kitchen, Dean.” 

“Uh-huh, and another thing. You know what kind of songs you’re supposed to sing.” You roll your eyes harder. You knew this argument was coming. “That song is from the 50s and you knew it.” 

“None of those bullshit hipsters know who Ella fucking Fitzgerald is!” You yell. “Much less what years her fucking songs came out. That song killed and that’s all that fucking matters.” 

“Change your set or you’re fired.” 

That makes you laugh in his face. “Uh-huh, as if you’re going to find a singer who’ll work as cheap as me.” You say, brushing past him. “See you tomorrow.” 

----------------------------------------------------------------

Steve comes back to the bar the following week. He tells himself that it’s just for a quick drink but he knew the real reason was because he could not stop thinking about you. He also knew you were probably just being friendly because it’s your job to. He just needed you to reject him so he could go on with his life. 

He found himself in that hallway again approaching the woman he had seen last week. 

“Evening, Sir.” She says. “Are you lost?” 

“Umm.. I have a meeting with Mr. Volstead?” Steve questions, not really recalling the password fully. 

The woman hums. “Nice night, no?” She says. 

“I prefer the rain.” 

The woman sighs. “I’m sorry. I typically would let you in because I don’t really care but technically I’m not supposed to let anyone who doesn’t know the password in… even if  they are kinda famous.” She says. “The password changes every week. I’m sure if you ask Mr. Stark, he can find it for you.” 

“Oh, no worries. Sorry for wasting your time.” Steve sighs, turning back out the building. 

He’s approaching where he parked his bike when he hears a string of expletives being screamed followed with a car stuttering before not starting. He looks over to see a woman angrily get out of her car and lift the hood to see it smoking. The woman lets out another stream of expletives before kicking the tire and leaning her head on the roof of the car, defeated. For some reason, he feels compelled to go over and see how he could help. As he got closer he couldn’t believe his luck, it was you. He tapped you lightly on the shoulder and you turned with the beginnings of tears in your eyes. 

“Oh, Soldier!” You said, quickly turning around to wipe your eyes and putting the facade you typically used with customers back up. “I almost got offended when you didn’t come back to see me. Imagine a broad’s old luck.” You said, smiling flirtatiously. Steve didn’t buy that smile for a second. He could see in your eyes you were still upset. 

“Everything okay?” He asks. 

“Oh, everything’s swell! This old jalopy has seen better days, gonna drop a dime to a friend hopefully--” You cut yourself off, switching into your normal speaking voice. “Listen, I’m sorry I just can’t keep talking like this off the clock. I’ll drive myself insane. Please, don’t tell my boss. I’m already on thin ice for not ‘maintaining the illusion’.” 

Steve laughs, a weight suddenly feeling lifted off his shoulders. Suddenly you weren’t this mysterious woman who seemed to have all the right things to say and how to say them. You were human, just like him. “Your secret’s safe with me.” He says. 

“Good.”  You say, smiling briefly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve gotta call Triple A for a tow.” You say, pulling your cell phone out. Steve had to admit it looked a little weird to see you with a cellphone in your olden days attire. 

“How will you get home?” He asks. 

“I’ll probably hoof it.” You shrug. “Or take the subway.” 

“At night?!” Steve says, incredulously. “No, I can take you if you’d like.” 

You look at him, hopefully. “I don’t want to be a burden.” You say. 

“You won’t be one.” He smiles. God, that smile made you feel a little weak. 

“Okay.” You smile back. 

“Are you hungry by chance?” He asks, as the two of you walk back to his ride. “I was going to eat in the bar but I couldn’t remember the password.” He says, sheepishly. 

That makes you laugh out loud. “Those passwords are such bullshit, Dean keeps changing them to keep it ‘exclusive’ but they always end up online anyway.” You say. “Every server has their own password, to keep track of regulars coming in. If you tell them you have a rose delivery for Mae, They’ll take you to my table no questions.” 

“Mae?” Steve asks. 

“For Mae West.” You explain, That makes Steve laugh again, of course you liked Mae West. “I could eat though. There’s actually a diner right down the road from here.” 

“Perfect.” He says, straddling onto his bike. He raises an eyebrow at you when you hesitate. “Something wrong?” 

“I’ve never ridden on a bike before is all.” 

“As long as you hold on to me, you’ll be fine.” He says, smirking when he sees a flush creep over your face as he hands you his helmet. It was about time for you to be flustered by your interactions. 

“I have no problems with that.” You say, placing that helmet on your head after you straddle the bike behind him. Your hands are tight around his waist as the two of you ride out of the lot, leaving Paradise behind. 

Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink

[caxsthetic]

WEDDING BAND — Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

Type: Standalone Movie (One-Shot Fiction)

Cast: Kuroo Tetsurou

Storyline: High school reunion was the best time to catch up with old times. But you could never be ready to meet him again, even after eight years already went by.

Genre: Drama, Slice of Life

You took a step backward, making him let out a sigh as he knew that he was reaching out for something that was never there. Hope, a second chance. Yet he said it, digging his mindless dream that maybe there could be something. Maybe not now, maybe someday.

Your grip on the steering wheel tightened as you contemplated once again.

Was it a good choice to come here? It had been such a long time since the last time you met up with your high school friends, of course, you wanted to meet them. But you remembered a conversation on the group chat three days ago — when your friend suddenly brought up a name.

A name that was long forgotten, buried deep inside your mind.

Was it seven? Eight? You didn't count anymore how many years went by after graduation. After that fateful day where you decided to break it all off with him, you never once thought about him, feeling certain whatever choice you made was final and valid.

But somehow, you were not ready to meet him. It was not like you were still head over heels over that man, you didn't even bother to ask around how he was after you left, or what he was doing for his adulthood.

You already moved on.

Yes, you were. Those were the words that you chanted at the back of your head. You unlocked the car and got out in a haste. Your fingers skimmed the wrinkles on your skirt, smoothing it up a little before checking your hair one more time, wanting to make sure you look decent.

You have no one to impress, you do this for yourself, honey.

Blowing a kiss to your reflection on the window car, you smiled confidently before striding towards your high school's gymnasium, chin held high as you greeted whoever familiar faces that you remembered.

The second you walked inside the area, you felt a sudden blow of nostalgia knitting it's way back to your heart. You remembered how you tended to be here, sitting on the bench as you cheered your former lover every time he had a practice.

You even remembered the things that happened inside the locker room when everyone already went home. A little rendezvous filled with heavy pants and teeth clashing to each other — such hormonal teenagers, the two of you used to be.

Shaking your head, you decided to look around, wanting to see your friends that you only met daily through a video call. They were all screaming when they knew you were coming back, that you finally would live in Japan again after such a long time embarking on a journey in a foreign country.

It was such a miracle really, that you somehow could get a scholarship in one of the coldest countries in the world. You were not the smartest student on Nekoma before, but you applied anyway, filling all the requirements and wished for the best.

Three months later and you got a mail from the benefactor, you were so happy that you could make your parents proud, jumping throughout your house as you shouted that you were in, happy tears cascading down your cheek when you called your boyfriend with excitement lingering on your voice, telling him that you were one step closer to your dream.

And you still remembered how your smile faltered the second you heard his answer.

"Oh, congratulations."

Him and his unusual tone that was fall flat, hanging up the call before you could answer some more.

You knew it was the right thing to break things off. From the very first start, he didn't want to try. Ever since then your relationship with him was like leaves in autumn, waiting for the wind to make it fall to the ground.

And the graduation day was the time when the wind finally knocked things off.

Shaking your head, you flicked your own forehead not to let your mind wander, focusing on the task of finding your group of friends.

Your feet brought you to a bar that the committee set up right under the basketball ring. A familiar dark brown hair that belonged to your friend moved slightly as she gulped down a shot down her throat.

Always a heavy drinker, that friend of yours.

"Honey-pie!" She screeched the second she had a proper look at you. Her breath already reeked with alcohol, making you chuckle in amusement with how wasted she was (even though the reunion just started less than an hour ago). "Goodness, my dear! Look at you!"

She slurred a little, your other friends praising you and made your presence to be showcased with a spotlight. It didn't take long for the others coming around, asking how life was, how it was to move overseas, or even how many flings you had for around seven years in another nation.

"Oh, please, you know I am not like that." You hummed in delight after sipping a glass of cocktail that the bartender made for you. "I am a very loyal woman, never prancing around once my heart’s set for someone."

"Ah, a certain former captain?" Your drunk friend retorted, making you flinch a little as you understood her reference. Another one of your friends (who was the mature, and completely sober one) nudged her hips. "Fuck, sorry, forget I said anything."

You didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or the way his name was mentioned that your throat suddenly felt so dry. It was the alcohol, you reassured yourself, feeling certain nothing was going on inside your heart.

"I-I need a breather." So why did you run away? You couldn't understand yourself too sometimes as you drank the cocktail down your throat and left the scene.

It was immature for you to do that, you didn't mean to make your friend feel guilty. And you could only hope that they would understand, that whatever state you were in right now was solely because of yourself, no one else was at fault except you.

You ran outside from the back exit, catching your breath as you felt like you wanted to throw up. Running with alcohol in your blood and a full digestive system was a bad idea.

"Long night?"

And somehow a voice that slipped in your ear triggered it all.

He was frantic when you suddenly threw up, making him run back inside the gym to grab you a glass of water. This was not the reunion that he thought he would have.

With you still gagging out some alcohol, forcing it out of your stomach, you felt a familiar hand resting on your back. Gentle palm went up and down on the surface of your shirt, trying to ease you from another urge of nausea.

Funny how he was probably the main reason why you threw up in the first place, yet the reason why you calmed down too.

You straightened your posture as you felt that you were alright. He immediately retracted his hand away, stepping aside a little to give you some space. This was not the reunion that you thought you would have.

There was no intention for you to talk to him. It was clear that he wanted nothing to do with you when you never received any messages from him. You tried to reach out, once when you came home for a few days, but he never answered back, he never let you in again.

"Goodness." You muttered softly, calming down your heartbeat while taking a few deep breaths before finally dared to take a look at him. "Thank you, Kuroo."

He grimaced a little, making you raise one of your eyebrows in confusion. Was he feeling that cringe when you called his name? Should you just not acknowledge him at all? You pondered as you waited for his response, a few seconds felt like an eternity.

"That feels strange." His hand went to the back of his head, sighing as he fixed his composure.

"Huh? What strange?"

"You called me by my last name." His words made you wonder, making a pout to slip on your face. "I know it's been years," and 'us' was long gone. "But it's still strange, you know?"

You blinked, didn't expect him to casually act buddy-buddy with you. Shouldn't you be angry that he acted like you were still friends? Where was he when you tried to reach out, he was never there. And he had the audacity to make you feel that you were still in high school all over again.

"O—kay…" But you shrugged off the feeling, trailing your words as you bit your lips before the both of you fell to an awkward silence.

Awkward was something that never existed when the two of you were together. At least it never did before, and you were not surprised it was here right now. This was how it was supposed to be, right?

When two former lovers see each other after cutting ties for years, the awkwardness was normal. You wanted to just run away, get back to your friend, or go anywhere since you thought other places were better as long as you were not with him alone.

But as you were deep in thought, you didn't know when he took off his blazer. You were too busy thinking of an escape plan that you didn't realise it until the blazer was weighing on your shoulder, resting there to shield you from the night breeze.

This was unfair.

The way he dropped his blazer without thinking, tugging it on your shoulder, and patted your back before pulling away once again,

He was being unfair to your heart.

"W-what—"

"How was America? You were in California, right?" He asked nonchalantly as if he didn't just give you his blazer to warm you up. "Heard it was kinda freezing if it was not summer, and I know you are someone who couldn't handle cold."

You subconsciously gripped on his blazer, sniffling the familiar scent that even now — still made you feel at home.

"Yeah, it was cold most of the time." Chuckling, you tried to just enjoy the moment. Finally surrendering to the position you were in right now. "But it was alright, I have a heater in the dorm. So it's fine! I like it there, the scenery, the cafe, and I met someone there too, maybe you know him—"

The night wasn't supposed to be like this. You chat with your former boyfriend, catching up on all the years that went by as if there was never a huge gap separating you and the black-haired man.

It was so easy, all the words and laughs poured like a broken dam. Inching closer and closer, not even one realised that the two feet gap now turned into none — as your shoulder brushed with his, and both of you just let everything unfold.

Maybe if he leaned in, you would do the same.

"I didn't expect you here, to be honest." The laugh that you shared had now died down. "You moved overseas, and I am pretty sure you wouldn't come back." His voice sounded so restrained as he just looked forward, didn't glance at you that was standing right beside him.

You eyed him carefully, swallowing a huge lump as you could feel all the longing feelings started to come back to the surface. You couldn't, you couldn't let it happen. The reunion was to have fun, not to rekindle the love that could never work.

But it was already happening, right now, even maybe since he had his palm on your back to calm you down.

"Yet, you came back." The restrain on his voice now changed, turned into a melancholic tone. "It took you eight years. Eight years was actually not a long time when I think about it." You knew you should have bid farewell right now.

Now, before the dam breaks completely and couldn't be mended anymore.

"I should have waited for you, you know?" No, no. "Eight years was nothing when it came to someone who's in love."

You took a step backward, making him let out a sigh as he knew that he was reaching out for something that was never there. Hope, a second chance. Yet he said it, digging his mindless dream that maybe there could be something. Maybe not now, maybe someday.

What he said was something that he should have buried, knowing the circumstances.

But he didn't regret it. As he turned his head to face you once again, even though you were standing one foot apart from him with eyes that screamed how dare you, he could see how at the same time you wanted to run up to him, circling your arms around his neck to crash your lips on his.

He knew, he could see it because it was the same look that you gave to him all those years ago when you and he were just young, stupid, teenagers.

"Tetsurou, I—"

"Hey, (Y/n)!"

Both of you jolted when a familiar voice of your friend rang from the door. It was all gone in an instant; the magic, the love that aired once again before, it dissipated into thin air. And neither you and he were ready to come back to reality.

But maybe it was for the best.

It was for the best.

"Sorry if I disturbed you, but hey, Kuroo! I am gonna steal her for a sec, a photo group!" You chuckled softly at how your friend flailed her arms, begging you to join her. "I will run back inside to inform them that you are in!"

She was like a firework, reminding you of Kuroo's best friend from another school. One that you remembered was now a professional volleyball player.

"I-I will go back inside." You said softly under your breath, averting your gaze as you took off the blazer that still wrapped around you. So slow as you wanted the warmth to last. "See you around, Kuroo."

It was back to square one as you gave back the black fabric. Clutching on it a little too tight before bowing your head to give some respect. This was for the best, either you or he knew that. So he didn't stop you, he didn't stop you from slipping away once again, knowing for sure that there was no way you would come back to his arms — not after what he did.

But he didn't expect you to turn around once again, facing him as you played with the bag strap on your chest. He let out a small chuckle under his breath, knowing how you didn't change at all, always playing with your bag strap or clothes when you were nervous.

He stood there in silence, wondering what you were going to say as he wore his blazer again. Fixing up the button slowly as he waited. You finally parted your lips, closing them before opening up once again, eyes locked with his.

"If I choose to stay back then, do you think we would have a chance?"

The question knocked the air out of his lungs. Of course, of course, you and he would have a chance. It would be so much easier, he would go to your university every now and then, catching up would be so easy, it would last, the relationship that you have with him since the first year of high school would—

"Maybe, maybe yes and maybe not." He shut his heart, using his head to answer your question instead. "We will never know, I guess. It wouldn't happen, so don't dwell too much with it, okay?"

He said it for you, and for himself.

Both of you were an adult now. Not everything could be changed by I love you anymore. It was the real world, no one could go back to the past as much as they wanted to. And his firm answer made you smile, slowly locking the memory with him back to the deepest part of your heart, in hope that you wouldn't have to find it ever again.

"Then," You cleared your throat, smiling so wide as if you didn't just ignore the love that you harboured towards the man in front of you. "Farewell, Kuroo."

And he nodded, giving you a salute. As if he didn't just shed a tear (one that he immediately erased with his thumb subtly) as he knew it was a farewell to his first love. No, to his love.

Both of you just stood there in silence, neither of you willing to avert each other. He tried to remember this, painting the moment to keep forever. How you smiled for him — just for him — how it never changed even after years went by.

And you, you noted how much he had grown. That life sculpted him to where he was right now. He lived a happy life, he stayed in the volleyball world, his passion. He was successful, this was something that you wanted to believe was enough for you.

Your eyes met with his, smiling there like an idiot, capturing the moment one last time — before both pairs of orbs fell to the left hand of each other. The two of you met with a truth, a reminder that life must go on, even though sometimes it was led in the unwanted direction.

Such a simple warning, mute, and stayed still.

Yours was silver, and he was gold.

"Farewell, Iwaizumi-san."

MASTERLIST

“And It Cracks” Taglist:

@roseestuosity @mistypoison @samanthaa-leanne @tycrackculture @cactuski6 @aomineavenue @tris-does-stuff @tremblinghearts @too-many-lanes @sunflwrsandprettyskies @ntimacy @ch4jime @tsukkiboii @oikawoahh @hoefor2ds @edvigelacivetta @playboygeniusphilanthropist @wompwomphq @himichii ​ @chibichab​ @shoyomeow​ @miyayane​ @shinhiromi @p0taytoes @lilolpotato @tetsuskitten @shrimpypenis @pharvhs @ilhy2003 @kuro0luvr @mrs-kuroojinguji

Strikethrough couldn't be tagged! I am sorry, please provide me with another url or check the setting!

[jackiearbs]

things that are slept on in simon vs the homosapiens agenda // leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli

1. bram and garrett’s friendship.

“greenfeld made me see it three times.” (when garrett supported bram’s crush on simon)

the scene in svtha when leah leaves the lunch table and simon thinks bram has a crush on leah but it’s garrett (the FORESHADOWING)

when bram starts inviting leah places to get garrett closer to her

the way that theyre always together

the way they are best friends whipped for another set of best friends

⬆️ “EYES ON THE BALL, GREENFELD” when bram was hardcore GRINNING at simon when he’s in the middle of a soccer game and garrett was doing the same thing to leah

⬆️they are both so gone

the way they both definitely gush to eachother about their crushes

when bram wants to get to school early to see the show and garrett says “greenfeld just wants to get a good view of his boyfriend’s ass” and bram did NOT disagree with him

the way bram probably realized he’s gonna have to deal with a heartbroken garrett when he saw abby and leah but supported them nonetheless

2. cal and nora’s relationship

the way we were served with their cute lil hug idk it warms my heart🥺

when leah said cal has a type because he liked both simon and nora KDJDLSH

3. bram in GENERAL

like the boy is so hopelessly in love with simon and we are not talking about it

the promposal ¿? like the lengths he went to ask his ALREADY boyfriend to the prom

the way he didn’t mind simon going to the college he loved

the way he is always asking about simon

the way he immediately recognized simon’s fanfiction when leah and abby couldn’t find it

no one ever talks about the pining. like he liked simon for so much longer than simon liked him and it was probably so painful for him

the way he was only shy around simon (that’s why it’s so weird to have so much dialogue from him in leah, i was kinda thrown off that he wasn’t overall shy)

the way he was turned all the way around to watch the door at the talent show to see when simon was coming

the way that he’s an actual jock. like sometimes i forget that he dresses like a girl during halloween with the other varsity players and is very very athletic and does silly dances with his team

the way that he went to see simon three times in the play before he even confessed

the way he bought a shirt of simons favorite band and gave it to him with a note and his number in it, the hopeless romantic

the way he’s entranced by a single text message from simon, let alone anything else

the way he was so quick to support abby and leah and leaving his (asshole) teammate in the dirt

the way he’s so quick to pick up how simon writes and how he talks

the way he leaves a seat for simon whenever they’re together in a group

the way he flinched when abby said something about black people getting treated worse, like he knows

4. all of the hidden clues that were written in the books

in svtha, leah’s hatred for abby (which was projected towards simon in the end) was not actual hatred. according to the leah timeline, she still had a crush on her.

in leah on the offbeat, abby’s cousins were briefly mentioned. in the next book, they are the main characters.

in svtha, albertalli made it known that whenever the group was together, the only person simon would ever describe was bram, even if bram was already introduced to the reader. in literally every situation (everytime he called bram cute and then said he was cheating on bram i would literally scream at the book like “he is blue, dumb bitch!”) bram was the only person described in detail of more than a sentence

the way leah stood up to abby, before even realizing she had a crush on her, to her lifelong best friend and not talking to her anymore

the way abby didn’t even break up with nick because of the long-distance, she just broke up with him because she liked leah

⬆️the way that leah knew that too. she knew that they weren’t the perfect couple

5. this isn’t really slept on, but the side plot of simon and bram in leah on the offbeat

the way bram is always planning to do something for simon

simon being too afraid to talk to him about college after what happened to nick and abby

the way bram assured him that they’ll be okay and made plans so that they didn’t feel too far apart

the way that they’ve been dating for over a year at the end of leah and they kept making each other smile over sweet little nothings and how they’re so in love

the way they are holding each other at the end of the prom scene

the dumbass gays™️ finding the dumbass bisexuals and simon being shell shocked when bram was shocked but not surprised

the way they are both described when they receive texts from each other (like they become completely detached from the world around them)

dumbass gays™️ smiling at each other when they’re doing something

the way simon becomes so focused on bram when they’re doing something in a crowd and vise versa

6. abby’s feelings. this is a big one

yes, a lot of the plot was how she was feeling after her and nick’s breakup but it was always about leah when they were fighting and never abby

she was always the support and it was never taken into consideration that leah fucked up too. it annoyed me honestly

like during every fight they had it was just leah yelling at her and abby just apologizing and still never getting it right

like leah was always the one to storm off, abby always stayed

abby literally came out to leah and leah was too selfish to even consider her

(they were so cute by the end though, they became so unproblematic)

the way abby’s feelings were never taken into consideration when leah would storm off on her (i know it was literally narrated by leah but you know)

⬆️the way she felt like she had to be perfect played into that because she never wanted to show herself being upset about something

bram and simon are my favorites, can you tell?

[leah-halliwell92]

It’s Over

For @band--psycho​‘s bingo challenge. The prompt is enemies to lovers. Pairing is Tig x Reader

Note: (S/N) = sister’s name

“It was my sister,” you said coldly as you packed your bag.

Flashback

You’d just come back from a week long conference, Tig said he’d be on the road doing club stuff so timing couldn’t have been better. Everything went amazingly well, from your presentation to the doors that had opened for you and your career. Hell you could count the times someone told you to call em if you’re interested in a specific job. You’d done some light research and seen that most are out of state near the Maine area of the U.S. And while that seemed all well and good, you couldn’t just leave the family you’d made behind.

You were making Tigger’s favorite, ready to surprise him by taking it to the shop with promises of play time later. You loaded up the food into your car and made your way to T.Ms a happy grin on your face feeling giddy with all the pent up energy from not having seen your old man in a solid week. Yea there were calls but that shit ain’t the same.

You went through to the office waving at the boys as you passed by. You pressed a kiss to Chibs’ and Happy’s cheeks in greeting as you passed them by batting their hands away from the lunch bag.

“Nu uh,” you said with a grin, “This one is not for you. But let me know what you want me to bring for Sunday dinner and I’ll do my best. By the way have you seen Tiggy anywhere?”

The boys nodded happily but stilted at the question.

“He’s in the back,” Chibs said with a grin.

You noticed he didn’t look quite as teasing as he should have been but chalked it up to jet lag from the bike trip.

Happy didn’t look much better. You were sure if looks could kill someone would be dead with how cold and hard his eyes were.

“Come on little girl I’ll take you,” Happy said with a small smile.

“Lemme put this in tha lounge aye?” Chibs said reaching for the bag.

You furrowed your brows at them and the sudden odd behavior but gave Chibs the bag. You’d never needed any of the boys to take you to the back...

Happy didn’t say much on your way and you were going to say something when you heard moaning and heavy breathing.

You looked to Happy who nodded forward.

You walked up quietly hoping it was one of the prospects getting handsy with a crow eater. Your hopes were dashed at seeing Tig on a chair a woman bouncing on his lap. You covered your mouth to keep from gasping at who it was exactly that was on his lap. Your sister...

You made your way out to where Happy stood a sad look in his eyes.

You pulled out your phone and text widow, ‘Are there cameras in that room?’

You showed him the message and nodded as he confirmed it.

‘Get me a copy of that and make sure her face is visible,’ you typed in.

Happy looked at you startled, he’d never seen you so dead seat on something.

You turned around walked back into the room and took a picture of the deed tearful eyes cold and heart dead.

That done, you turned around and left. Out in the front, Happy and Chibs waited for you both concerned as they looked you over.

You took a seat in the lounge both boys at either side.

“Are ya gonna wait on ‘im?” Chibs asked quietly.

You shrug really not knowing what to do before sighing.

“Is it ok if I crash at either of you apartments?” You asked.

Happy nodded quietly, considering he never uses the place.

“I’ll help ya with your stuff,” Chibs said with a nod.

“No you won’t,” you say with conviction, “Despite everything going on between us now, he’s still your brother.”

“Yea...but if looks could kill he’d be dead,” Happy said with conviction.

You’d become family in the near 5 years you’d been with Tig. You meant a lot to them, even the prospects.

“I promise to keep in touch,” you say taking their hands in each of yours.

They nod and stand one to punch out the other to work the ladder not at all happy with how things ended.

As soon as Happy stepped out to punch out your sister walked out Tig not too far behind her.

“(Y/N)! You’re home!” Your sister said excitedly moving to hug you.

You kept your distance avoiding her hurt look and before she could say anything, you pulled out your phone showing her the picture you’d just taken. 

(S/N) paled at the image.

“It’s not what you think,” she said voice shaky. 

“No you’re right....him and I was not what I thought,” you said voice hard.

She shook her head pleadingly at that but before she could say anything...

“Baby!” Tig cried walking around (S/N) to envelope you in his arms.

You felt sick as he hugged you knowing where he’d been. It also didn’t help that (S/N) had been exactly were. 

“You ok?” He asked when you pulled away, “Did something happen?”

‘Yea you dick you cheated on me with my sister,’ you thought but shook your head and left without a backward glance Happy hot on your heels.

You were heaving from how angry and ready to break you were. Happy saw this and gently held you in place.

“Breath,” he said lowly as you both heard Tig yelling at Chibs.

“I can’t,” you said as tears fell.

“Chibs is being a door stop,” Happy said looking over your shoulder, “But if you wanna leave...”

“We leave after I do this,” you said and walked to Tig’s bike. 

You saw the men freeze as you looked at the bike a not so friendly look on your face.

Before Happy could do anything, you pulled out the knife Tig had given you for Christmas and slashed his tires making sure to leave the knife imbedded in the second tire.

You turn around to see a shocked and mouth agape Happy. 

“Ok...Now I can go,” you said and walked away to your car. 

You were stopped by your crying sister throwing her arms around you as she cried, “(Y/N) please!”

You pushed her off roughly not ready to deal with her yet and ran to your car.

You’d not sooner gotten in you car that you heard Chibs called out, “Move over lass! Ya ain’t in na condition to be drivin’.”

You were about to say no but was pushed to the passenger seat by the Scott. 

“Lemme drive lass, Hap’s holdin’ on ta Tig while ya make yer getaway,” he said with a small laugh as he remembered you’d slashed the bike tires, “Granted he won’ be goin’ nowhere on flat tires.”

Back at home, Chibs found empty boxes to start putting your things in as you told him what belonged to whom while you packed away your clothing.

~End Flashback~

“What the hell man!” You heard Tig yell at Chibs who was loading up the last of two boxes that held your things.

“Babe–”

“It had to be my sister,” you said not turning around continuing to pack your bag.

“Babe please!” He said desperately, walking to where you were and taking things out. 

You slapped his hand, hard, and repacked the clothing he’d taken out.

“And before you start, I saw you don’t give me the “it’s not what you think” crap,” you say as you packed up the last of your clothes.

“It didn’t mean anything!” He yelled.

“It meant enough for you to throw away 5 years together Alexander. Five fucking years I gave to you only to have it thrown in my face cuz my bitch ass of a sister made her cunt available to you while I was away for work,” you yelled turning to look at him, “And the worst thing is that I have no fucking clue how long this has been going on.”

Tig lowered his gaze and scuffed at the rug with his boot.

“How long Alexander?” You asked not really wanting to know the answer. 

“A month...” he mumbled out.

Chibs walked in just as Tig answered the question and looked at his brother in disbelief. 

“You sack o’ shite!” He yelled and punched Tig in the face, “You cheated on the best thing that has happened to ya with ‘er sister for a month! What was it Tig!? Was it the fresh pussy? That she was there? What the FUCK was it Tig!?”

“I don't know!” Tig yelled out as Chibs punched him while he was down, “I don’t know. She came onto me one night I’d mixed two drinks too many and next thing ya know I woke up with her on me.”

“Did it never make you stop and think to come clean!?” Chibs yelled.

“Dude she made me swear not to,” Tig said letting Chibs wale on him for the answer.

You on the other hand stood frozen as everything came to light. 

“She made you swear because of (S/H/N),” you said quietly. 

Chibs turned to look at you questions in his eyes.

“(S/N)’s husband is in the military and is diploid,” you said looking at Chibs, “She’s always been a horny bitch, sad she couldn’t just fuck a prospect and had to go for what wasn’t hers.”

Chibs approached you and nodded to the bags behind you on the bed. 

You nod and he takes them to the car.

“At least now I'm free to fuck any son I want,” you say cruelly, “Because now nothing is sacred, and that is on you. Enjoy the crows Alex, maybe they’ll help you forget about me.”

“But baby I love you!” He yelled after you.

You scoffed and said, “If you did you’d have come to me as soon as it happened. Not gone back for more....fuck you Alexander Trager and hope that this doesn’t make it’s way over seas.”

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, co-written with @darkmagyk [read on ao3]

“I’m in love,” Piper tells her when she shows up for another fitting. “Have you seen the new Beyonce video?”

“I heard the song.” Annabeth says, “isn’t that enough?”

“God, your whole play-acting thing is too far if you’re pretending to not like Beyonce.”

“I never said that.” Annabeth holds up her hands, “I like the song. But I did not see the video.”

“Well, when you see it, you’ll be in love too, but I will fight you.”

Piper could be scrappy in a fight. But Annabeth had been a champion fencer in high school.

“Kidding!” Piper says at her look. “There’s plenty of them to go around.” She didn’t even start to drape fabric over Annabeth, pushing her onto a muslin covered couch, and then pulling the video on the TV. She didn’t have one of those voice control devices. Because she was friends with Leo, and he was pretty firm on them being evil. “But I do call dibs on the main guy. The CALVES. The thighs. He’s unreal.”

“That good?” Piper went all ways, though as of late she gravitated towards women more often than not, so this was some high praise indeed. 

“Unreal, I am telling you. Like, the hand of God came down and sculpted him personally out of marble.”

Already in her recent watch history, the thumbnail of the video greets them, the song title splashed across the TV screen, weaving between  a very, very familiar set of legs. 

Like, intimately familiar. 

In something of detached horror, she watches the camera pan up, lovingly lingering on every inch of bare skin, following the muscles of his calves (which were unreal) to his knees then his thighs (which Annabeth had spent almost too much time between now), up his torso and his chest (which she knew made for an excellent pillow) to Percy’s face, set in a firm, hard stare. 

And that fucking blue lipstick again. 

She can’t even focus on Beyonce herself, too distracted by the way her hand traces the length of Percy’s outstretched thigh held in perfect arabesque as she gracefully drapes herself over him, crooning softly into his ear.

Annabeth should do that next time. That’s her spot, after all. 

Tearing her eyes away from the screen even as Piper watches, enraptured, she slips out her phone, sending a quick, furious text. 

annabeth: BEYONCE???????

A minute, then he responds. 

percy: oh lol i didn’t realize that came out today 😁

percy: what’d you think?

annabeth: i think im going to kill you later

“Just look at him,” Piper says, pausing on Percy’s form, his arms outstretched, fingers placed delicately around a bar. “I mean--look at him!”

“Yeah,” she chuckles, maybe a little uneasy. “He’s alright I guess.”

Incredulous, Piper swivels her head. “Alright? Alright? Do you need your eyes checked?”

She just shrugs. 

Why is she being so weird about this? It’s just Piper. She’s trained to find symmetry and beauty in bodies. They’ve happily shared crushes and fixations plenty of times before, so why is Annabeth being so weird about Percy? It’s not like they’re… you know… dating or anything. Just hooking up a bit. 

Piper squints at her, then shrugs herself. “Fine. I don’t have time to get an answer out of you anyway. Come on.”

“Speaking of time,” Annabeth says, following Piper back into the kitchen studio, “I have to head out by 6:30.”

“Oh yeah?” Piper’s head is buried in her belt box, searching for the perfect accent. “What for?”

“I’ve got a show to catch.”

“Kind of early,” she says, pulling out something thin and silver. “Don’t you usually meet Thalia at the ass crack of midnight?”

“Well I kind of want to eat first.”

“Okay.” She cinches the belt around her waist, tight. “Then you’re going to have to help me with this skirt.”

***

Hands aching from hours of macrame, Annabeth walks up to the box office window at the Koch Theater at 7:46, having a handful of second thoughts. 

Old, uppity white couples keep shooting her some particularly intense passive aggressive glares, some of them even venturing into actually aggressive territory, which usually wouldn’t even register on her very short list of things to care about, except that she is feeling woefully out of place. The lady in front of her has ten pounds of diamonds hanging off of each old, wrinkly ear, and the best Annabeth could do was fish out her least-ripped pair of jeans, pairing it with one of her nicer black shirts, the sleeves long enough to cover most of her tattoos. The macrame kept her longer than she had meant, so she didn’t have time to change before dinner, but fuck it, right?

She did also take out most of her face jewelry on the way. But she left the nose stud, obviously. And the tongue piercing. And the industrial, because Percy really likes those, so she doesn’t feel that bad about it. And he hadn’t even told her about this until after she had already given herself the half-undercut, so it’s not like she could do anything about that either.

“Can I help you?” At least this box office worker isn’t giving her the stink-eye. 

“I’m here to pick up a ticket? Should be under ‘Jackson.’” He’d offered to leave it under her name, but this was safer. She doesn’t think her mom is a big ballet person, but she isn’t about to risk it, either.

She slides the ticket towards Annabeth beneath the glass plane. “Enjoy the show,” she says, with a quirk of her mouth that is surprisingly sincere for someone in customer service. 

She’s pretty sure she’d enjoy the show more if she weren’t panicking thinking about getting dirt on their fancy carpets. Her boots are clean, of course, and she doesn’t really care, but she doesn’t want to, like, embarrass Percy or whatever. She’d asked him if she should dress up, but he’d assured her otherwise. “No one’s going to care, I promise,” he’d told her the night before, her lounging in his bed while he did some pushups. “And if anyone says something, let me know and we can kick their ass after the show together.”

“Great. Guess I don’t have to break out the Chanel, then.”

He’d paused, frowned, then huffed a laugh, shaking his head. Like the idea of Annabeth wearing Chanel was hilarious. Like what she’s wearing tonight really is the best that she can do.

Self-consciousness isn’t really a feeling that Annabeth has anymore. She’s spent so many years chafing against expectations, shucking them off when she inevitably failed to meet them, desperate for a place, a crowd where she could just be. In her scene, she doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone, and when Percy is out with her, he doesn’t need any convincing. He likes her. He likes her a lot, she thinks. He likes her enough to let himself be dragged out to every shitty dive bar and shittier rock show in New York City, laughing and cheering and holding her close the whole time. He likes her enough to cart her to his apartment at 4 AM, inevitably waking Nico up from his undead slumber, and leave her with nothing but a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead. And she likes him, too--a lot. Annabeth likes Percy enough to ditch her band t-shirts for a night and track mud on the carpet of the Koch Theater and willingly sit through a performance of fucking Swan goddamn Lake of all things, and it’s only a little scary how much she is willing to do for him after only a few months of fucking him. Because this really isn’t her scene, not anymore. 

The weight of everyone’s stares bears down on her, threatening to crush her beneath them, a feeling she was so sure she’d left behind. 

At least Percy had been thoughtful enough to get her a ticket out of the way in the back of one of the balcony sections. It’s a bit of a hike, but the audience members aren’t dressed quite as nicely as the ones downstairs, and she feels like she can breathe a little easier.

She pulls out her phone, checking her text messages on instinct. There’s a selfie from Percy in his stage makeup (and she’s not going to lie… he looks fucking pretty), with his standard accompanying three blue heart emojis. She can’t help it, her heart skips a beat and she can’t help but smile, even as she rolls her eyes. She’s just about to send him something appropriately sarcastic when another text notification slides in. It’s from her father. 

Hi Annabeth… I was talking to a friend in Boston who said he's looking for a new 

prospective in his architecture firm. Passed your information along. 

Love you, dear

She swipes it away. Deletes the whole text conversation, for good measure. 

Forget about him. This night is about Percy.

A few minutes later, so engrossed in Percy’s program bio (it’s about all she can focus on right now), she doesn’t even notice everyone around her leaning forward in breathless anticipation, until the warm, honey-like sound of the oboe draws her head up. 

Roughly two minutes in, she’s really wishing she had attempted the synopsis. The extent of her knowledge of Swan Lake is a few half-remembered orchestra rehearsals in her teens and reading the Wikipedia article on that Natalie Portman movie a few months ago, and she definitely doesn’t recall there being anything about any Men-in-Tights looking motherfuckers prancing around. They’re sort of bobbing, back and forth, elegantly stepping from one side of the stage to another. Even from back here, she can see the delicate, precise placement of their hands, fingers curved just so, moving through space as though they aren’t bound by the laws of physics.

The fingers, she remembers. She could never get the hang of the fingers. Her old ballet teacher had given up on them after a week, and that had been the beginning of the end for that particular extracurricular. 

Now her fingers tap on her jeans, impatient, far faster than the easy going music on stage. She’s just about to give in to the millennial instinct and pull out her phone, maybe play a round of sudoku, when the dancers motion as one to the back corner, and Percy comes stepping out. His hair is perfectly slicked back, gelled down, any hint of curl beaten into submission, and his smile is small, but white, gleaming against the tanned brown of his skin. She can’t help but smile back, like he could somehow see her. Finally, she thinks, relaxing a little more into her seat. Something to watch.

On his off days, her off days, any day when she would spent the night at his (always at his, never at hers) and wake up wrapped in his comforter and the smell of seawater, she would take the blanket with her and steal into his living room, curl up on his couch with her feet tucked under her legs, and watch him dance. She’s seen him drill these sequences over, and over, and over again, counting furious sequences of sixes and eights beneath his breath in duet with the thuds of his feet on his floor. Most times he would notice her and shoot her a grin, granting her permission to observe the artist at work. Sometimes, though, he would be so caught up in his body, the shifting of his feet and the music in his head, that it was like he couldn’t see her at all. Seemingly alone, he would dance, uninhibited, and she would be struck by a feeling that she usually reserves for specific monuments. Watching Percy dance in his apartment, in his brown tights and black tank top, lost in his own world, is like looking at pictures of the Gateway Arch, or the Hoover Dam, or the Parthenon.

She searches for that feeling now, leaning forward in her seat, eyes hungrily raving his form, but she just doesn’t see it. It’s… honestly, it’s a little boring. She won’t lie. He had warned her it would be something of a slow start, but this isn’t exactly an ADHD friendly medium, and she is losing her patience, just a bit. He’s so reserved, like he’s holding something close to his chest, impersonal as he takes the hands of the female dancers and lets them twirl around him. 

Personally, Annabeth thinks that he looks kind of lost. Maybe he’s just nervous--it’s a big role and he’s a young guy. But he had seemed fine when he’d kissed her goodbye just after lunch. 

The court jester is killing it though. Feeling just the slightest bit guilty, she lets her eyes drift over to him, deciding to watch him for a while instead.

On some level, she does appreciate the skill on display here. Percy can raise his back leg in a perfect ninety degree angle that would make her architecture professors sweat. The girls drift back and forth across the stage on the tips of their toes, weightless and ethereal. It’s mesmerizing, and she lets herself be mesmerized.

Time must slip away from her, because she blinks and all of a sudden the stage has gone from sunny yellow to cool blue, the crowds of dancers having vanished. He is alone on stage. Percy kneels in a deep lunge that makes her thighs ache just looking at him (and for… other reasons), his arms and his attention pointed to the wings, with a… Annabeth squints. When the hell did he get a crossbow?

But everything is swept to the sides when the White Swan tiptoes her way on stage, impossibly graceful, and all of a sudden, Annabeth gets it. 

It feels a little cliche to say, but the way that woman moves on the floor really does remind her of those old, vintage jewelry boxes, suspended in animation, moved by some otherworldly force. It’s amazing. It’s a little terrifying. Sublime is the word that comes to mind as Annabeth watches her. Her arms move with fluidity, perfect curves, her fingers trailing behind her like wings. 

And Percy is just as mesmerized as Annabeth is. As the audience is. 

A few things hit her, in rapid succession. First, that Percy is, actually, a really good actor. His reticence before--he’d been playing a character. He’d been playing aloof and reserved and unmoored, because Percy--Siegfried--whatever--has been waiting his whole life for something to fulfill him, until this singular moment, the moment he laid eyes on this beautiful creature. Second, that she doesn’t need words to understand what’s going on. It’s all there, in every look and gesture and step, as the two characters circle each other, slowly but irrevocably falling in love. And third, that she recognizes the look on his face. It’s the look that Percy gives her when she has been talking for too long and he can’t get a word in edgewise, or when she screams along to the god awful underground bands, three beers in and missing every single fuck she’d ever had, or when she wakes up after him to Percy’s arms around her waist, her hair in his mouth and her head resting against his collarbone. She recognizes it, because that’s the look that Siegfried has for Odette. Because that’s the look that Percy has for Annabeth. Because he loves her.

And fourth, that that doesn’t make her as happy as she wishes it would. 

There’s a cold pit in her stomach for the rest of the show, a turning screw that twists in deeper, minute by minute, with every turn of the dancers. She wastes the next hour trying to puzzle this out, not even pretending to watch the drama unfolding on stage, because it makes no goddamn sense. (Her situation, not the ballet--she managed to skim the synopsis during intermission, her foot tapping incessantly against the blessedly empty seat in front of her.) Things are great between them. It’s been a heady, intoxicating four months, full of bubbles and butterflies, sweet, soft mornings, and some really, really phenomenal sex. This should make her happy. This should put her over the fucking moon, and she cannot, for the life of her, figure out why it doesn’t.

The prima ballerina comes back out as the Black Swan, just as poised and precise as her counterpart, but she’s a great actress as well, because there is something undeniably different about her. Her arms move like rubber, like joints are just an afterthought, wrapping themselves around Percy’s neck and shoulders. She misdirects his attention, drawing his eyes to her wrists, her clavicle, the curve of a leg or the point of her toe. Seducing him. Tricking him. 

Like Annabeth. 

Because try as she might to run from it, Annabeth isn’t who she says she is. She wants so desperately to be this fuck-the-rules, fight-the-power, punk rock princess that she took every part of her that didn’t fit that image and tried to rip it out of her, bloody and struggling. Her trust fund, her two (two!) Harvard degrees, her enriched childhood and her bright and shining future; she took it all out back and shot it, and prayed that would be the end of it. She’s a phony, just like that goddamn Black Swan. Percy is in love with a phony. 

Her sweet, wonderful, devastatingly kind and handsome Percy--she tricked him and made him fall in love with a mishmash of archetypes and aesthetics, distracting him with nose piercings and ripped t-shirts and ugly, deafening noise. 

She’s not surprised that she’s crying when the curtain falls. She’d never known that Siegfried and Odette both died at the end. 

When the cast reunites for curtain call, Percy is given a standing ovation, and Annabeth enthusiastically joins in, wiping the tears from her eyes, smearing her makeup. 

She doesn’t wait for him at the stage door, but sits on the steps of the theater, plucking at her sleeves, aching for a drink and wishing she had had the presence of mind to wear something a little nicer. Percy finds her there almost an hour after the show ended. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

In the dark of night, illuminated only by streetlamps, she can’t read his face--but she can read exhaustion, in every part of his body. “I was waiting for you by the stage door.”

Something in her stomach goes cold. “I… wasn’t sure if I was allowed,” she offers, weakly. 

He smiles, a light in the dark. “Of course you’re allowed,” he says, offering her a hand. “Shall we?”

She knows what will happen next. She’ll take his hand, and they’ll walk to the subway together, fingers intertwined. They’ll get on the 1 train headed north, and Percy will let her rest her head against him, tilting his head back against the window, eyes closed, almost asleep. The doorman will nod at them as they walk up to Nico’s apartment, barely batting an eye at his sweats and her ripped jeans, the two of them sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of impeccably dressed rich New Yorkers. Nico will wave at them distractedly from his office, gulping down his sixth coffee of the night, and they’ll tiptoe into his room, falling asleep in each other’s arms with little more than a good night kiss. 

Which, of course, is exactly what does end up happening.

Almost. 

Annabeth crawls on top of him in his bed, kissing him soft and senseless. She doesn’t know where he’s getting this energy from, but she is not complaining as he slips up inside of her, the two of them rocking each other gently to orgasm, their foreheads pressed together. Shuddering as he comes, he captures her mouth in another kiss, pouring every ounce of love he has in him into her.

A waste, honestly. 

But as far as goodbye sex, it’s pretty damn great. 

She needs to end this, before either of them get hurt. It’s the least of what he deserves, after all. To put yourself out there, to offer yourself up like that, that might be the bravest thing Annabeth’s ever heard of, and surely, Annabeth can find the courage to do what needs to be done.

[syubub]

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

[moonlit-mizukage]

Chapter four: The letter smells like Yukie

Summary: Popular punk band, Skull crusher, had to find a new drummer due to the sudden disappearance of the last one. As band manager and lead singer, Semi Eita’s girlfriend, Y/l/n Y/n brings Kyotani, a rising internet drummer they found online into the picture. Everything was great at first, then Kuroo, the lead guitarist, started getting creepy messages and presents. Y/n is determined to find out who is trying to sabotage the band when things only take a turn for the absolute worst. Who could be the mysterious stalker really be? Is it their new band mate? Or could it be a close friend of one of the members?

Tw: Swearing, mentions of stalking, mentions of a previous break in.

Taglist: Open! Send an ask or dm to be added!! 

________________________________________________________________

Third person pov

The room still remained silent as Kuroo handed Y/n back the letter. Matsukawa, Akaashi and Kyotani walked over to her as she passed over the letter to them. 

“I will get you some water Kuroo.” Semi said as he walked from the room. Y/n walked out after him excusing herself. 

“Eita.” She whispered as he grabbed a cup from the cabinet.

“Hey Y/n, you okay?” He placed the cup down on the counter and gave her a hug. 

“The letter smells like Yukie.” She whispered once again into his ear. 

“We have to say something then Y/n.” He looked panicked as Y/n held him tighter. 

“Wait what if hers was just under it? I don’t want to think my best friend is capable of something like that. I need to do some investigating, I think.” She said to him. 

“It’s too dangerous.” 

“Please, look where the police got us with Daichi….and now that comment on the letter… Eita please…” He let out a loud sigh. 

“Fine, but only cause I trust you with my whole heart Y/n. We have to stick together in times like this.” 

“I will call a cab for the girls and send them to Kiyoko’s for the night. We have to have a band meeting and finish up those letters in case any more are in there. I want to see if I find more that smell the same.” Semi agreed as the two went back into the room with the water. It was still dead silent. 

Y/n sent the girls off in a cab as the band sat down around the room in different chairs. 

“Eita and I noticed the letter smells very distinctive, we don’t know if it’s just this one so we need to find others that smell the same. I will read those ones first and then the rest. I told Eita I didn’t want to involve the police just yet.” 

“They won’t do shit anyways. Look at Daichi, or all those fans who were caught on camera breaking into a variety of our houses and shit.” Matsukawa spoke up.

They finally got down through the letters. They ended up finding two other letters where the scent was just as strong as the other one.

“Looks like there was only one. These 3 all smell the exact same, so now we just have to investigate your apartment.” 

“Alright we can go tomorrow.” Kuroo said.

 The next day… 

The three stepped out of Semi’s car as they headed for the main door of Kuroo’s building. The way up to his room was silent. Kuroo unlocked his door as they walked inside. Y/n pulled out the pictures and passed one to each of them. 

“I think it’s best if we check these areas first. See if anything is missing from them and then work out way around the place.” 

They all spread out and looked around the apartment. After a few minutes Semi had noticed something. 

“Hey Kuroo, check out your window.” Kuroo walks towards Semi. 

“Shit looks like someone was jacking it open a bit. Like they left in a rush.” He said. 

The three didn’t find anything else or nothing noticeably missing over then the small scratches in the window. They headed back out too meet the other three for a band practice. 

They pulled up into Akaashi and Matsukawa’s driveway as they got out of the car. They knocked on the door as Akaashi opened it. 

“Thank gosh you are here. Mad Dog and Matsukawa have been screaming for the past half an hour and will not shut up.” He said clearly annoyed. The three laughed as they walked inside. 

Y/n looked up from her phone. 

“Hey guys, just as a precaution tomorrow I am inviting the girls to the show again. I already texted them and they said yes. They are gonna sit backstage with me and watch everything go down. Hopefully there will be no more fan letters tomorrow.” 

“Maybe it was a one time thing.” Kyotani spoke up. 

“Probably not. Kuroo is going to have to move for now.” 

“He can stay with us for now in the guest room.” Matsuskawa suggested. 

“Yeah it’s empty and our security is better then Y/n and Semi’s right now.” Akasshi added. 

“He’s got a point.” Semi said. 

“Okay I will stay with you guys for now. I might just get a new apartment in the building honestly. I like it there a lot and Mad dog just got a place there.” 

“You could stay in my apartment too after I move into it next week. Get your fucking place fixed and extra secirity.” Kyotani said. 

“Yeah I think I will do that maybe. Just get them to fix up my place and maybe I can get them to put a camera outside my window.” Kuroo said. The atmosphere of the room felt cold with the heaviness of their conversion. 

“Don’t forget to close your curtains when you fuck then!” Matsukawa said with a laugh to cut the tension. This got a laugh out of most of the people around the room. 

“Free porno film for the security office person I guess.” Akaashi added.

“Let's get back to practicing fuckers! Big show again tomorrow night.” Semi said as he stood up. 

“It's sold out again too.” Y/n added. 

“Damn are we famous?” Matsukawa asked dramatically as they all went back to their instruments with laughter. 

 ______________________________________________________________

Previous | Masterlist | Next 

Taglist: @satan-ruler-of-hells​ @elianetsantana @elephantloser @putmeinyourdeathnote @levithansbabygirl @megumitodoroki @idontknow-whatto-callthis @jellyfishsart @freakydeaky226 @atria-avior @doodletingz​ @kac-chowsballs @twistedvalkyrie @ranu-chan @why-couldnt-it-be

[iceeckos12]

tma fic recs

I’ve seen a couple of fic rec posts floating around. since ive been reading so many excellent fic recently, i thought that id make one as well! please note this list is going to be 99% jonmartin. also buckle up, because this is going to get long.

Completed

the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet)

"And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella" - holdthosebees

Notes: This is probably my go-to fic if i want an apocalypse never happened scenario. The jonmartin is wonderful, as is the h/c.

Diary and Prenon-nous la main by luftballoons99

Diary summary:

Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.

or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.

Prenon-nous la main summary:

They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.

or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.

Notes: Do you love impeccable safehouse jonmartin characterization? do you love characters grappling with the mortifying ordeal of being known? do you love softness so tender that it makes you want to weep? please read these fic. im begging you.

i’ll tell you about all the times i’ve smiled because of you by cryptidkidprem

Summary:

Martin thinks about their shoes, sitting beside each other on the floor by the bed. Thinks of the way Jon wears Martin’s cardigans more often than he wears his own, the way Martin’s started keeping elastics around his wrist because Jon always forgets his own when they go out.

He thinks about all the gentle touches and fussing over each other they’ve done, and how much is still to come over the next… however long Jon will have him.

They have a long way to go, an entire life to build out of the wreckage Jonah Magnus and Peter Lukas left them, but laying together in a comfortable, sleepy quiet, Martin thinks they’ve got a good start going.

Or, Jon quits the Institute, saves the world, and it turns out to be exactly what he needs in order to heal and start moving forward towards building a life with Martin.

Notes: how many times have i reread this fic? more than i can count. jon quits the institute and it’s just full of soft jonmartins. they get married! god i love them.

go softly by doomcountry

Summary:

And there is nothing else besides this.

Notes: every time i remember this fic i reread it. please heed the tags because martin is blinding jon, but he’s like. blinding jon in the most heartbreaking way possible. idk how the author made this so tender but i know i was certainly crying so!

The Reverb in These Holy Halls by  Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)

Summary:

Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.

Notes: Do you like time travel fixits? i sure like time travel fixits. reverb is an excellent one. heavy on the h/c, I wanted to hug jon so so badly. 

Yesterday is Here by  CirrusGrey

Summary:

"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking. The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him. "I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint. -------- Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.

Notes: Yet another time travel fixit! also excellent. the teasing was HYSTERICAL. also Im just going to say this now - CirrusGrey in general writes incredible tma fic. You can’t really go wrong.

unassigned supplementals by  bibliocratic 

Notes: I won’t put in a summary just because it’s a long series of oneshots, but bibliocratic’s writing is amazing. Again, you can’t really go wrong with one of their fic!

let the soft animal of your body by autoclaves

Summary:

Standing in the warm kitchen, slats of sepia light filtering through onto the counter in front of him, Martin doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He half expects them to go through the countertop entirely, glossy and solid as it is. He isn’t used to any of it, yet. The safehouse. Jon. Beams of sun pouring into his hands. After being deprived of everything of significance for so long, the longing that crashes over him is almost painful in its tangibility. He wants to laugh, to sob, to scream and hear it echoed back against the neat, square walls of the safehouse.

In the end, he doesn’t do any of these things. He makes eggs instead. He can do that, can’t he? Use his hands for something simple and plain and good.

(Or: In the safehouse after it all, Martin starts cooking.)

Notes: this fic really speaks to me a) because i project on martin like crazy and b) because food is also my love language. this fic is incredibly soft and it’s all about cooking!

“Have you tried turning it on and off again?” by shinyopals

Summary:

I hope you find your new role as Head of the Institute as rewarding as captaining the Tundra, wrote Elias Bouchard, to Peter Lukas. There are so many people working there: all with their own interesting lives, and all desiring your attention and support. I'm sure you will relish the challenge it will bring and enjoy every moment spent with the fine men and women of the Institute. In time I'm confident they'll become like a family to you.

The Magnus Institute has a new boss. The Magnus Institute also has a new tech support technician. These two facts are unrelated, except they both happen at the same time.

Meanwhile Jon's woken up from being dead for six months and for once he's trying his best. He just wishes Martin would stop avoiding him and answer his messages...

Notes: if you’re looking for a good laugh, this fic is SO SO SO FUNNY. i was dying. basically the magnus institute being an absolute bureaucratic nightmare.

hello my old heart  by  firebirdsuite

Summary:

Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.

Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.

Notes: it’s all about the yearning. and trust me, the yearning in this fic? im just. i sure do love jonmartin, and this is such soft, loving jonmartin it just makes you want to cry

two ships passing by pyrites

Summary:

Gerard Keay is 10 years old the very first time he tries to run away from home, right around the time that Jonathan Sims has just come into possession of his first Leitner.

Or: One dropped stone can change the way the whole ocean moves.

Notes: again, JONGERRY. MY GOODNESS. this fic is beautiful, the writing is absolutely breathtaking and it owns my heart. im so in love with it. the author said you’re going to have emotions about jon and gerry and jongerry and i said OKAY

Terminal Sight by viv_is_spooky

Summary:

Spider silk weaves through the visions of two Seers. Monstrosity is dawning on them both.

Notes: I’d never read a gerryoliver fic before this, but the execution is EXCELLENT and now im sold on the ship forever. This fic has wonderful prose and great characterization and i love it a whole lot.

Incomplete

assistant archivist au by  PitViperOfDoom

Notes: I won’t put a summary since I’m reccing an entire series, but. it is absolutely no secret that i adore jongerry. pit’s assistant archivist au slapped me over the head with some gorgeous jongerry oneshots and then gave me the gift of the main fic (which is still in progress) about head archivist martin. i love this au so so much

dustsceawung by  callmearcturus

Summary:

Martin had always been favored by the summer courts, and moving up north to the little village of Lacuna is a difficult adjustment. It's rainy and lonely and everyone seems to have a strange, distant relationship with the local faerie court.

However: there is a strange man in a cloak who walks past Martin's remote little cottage every few days.

However: there is a moth that keeps getting stuck in Martin's house during the rain.

These events are not as disconnected as they first appear.

Notes: you ever just read a fic that you didn’t know that you needed until after you read it? yeah. featuring the fae and moth jon and excellent characterization.

Illicio by ThatOneGirlBehindYou

As the new Archivist debates between life and death, the Eye ponders on what to offer him in order to avoid an encore of the unfortunate situation with his predecessor.

-----

Gerard Keay opens his eyes at what feels like fuck-ass in the morning, inside a room with far too little space and far too much dust.

Notes: This is also the moment where I reveal that im a sucker for jongerrymartin. please read this fic. gerry is brought back from the dead in s4 and everyone is far better off for it.

where there’s a will, we make a way by bubonickitten

Summary:

"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself?

What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first."

________________________

Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

Notes: this time travel fixit is shaping up to be an absolutely incredible read. i love the way this author writes jon so so much, and the characterization is spot on. this whole fic just satisfies some little part of me. god. also!! bubonickitten’s writing in general? beautiful. please check out their other works.

The Timeline of Theseus by Applea

Jon tries to force the Spiral to send him back, but the Sprial's corridors never twist things quite the way you want them to. Back in 1996, Elias has no idea why or how the Eye made such a powerful Avatar out of an 8 year old, especially when said 8 year old doesn't actually know he has any powers at all. Clearly such a child cannot be left outside the Institute's care. 

Notes: This fic is legitimately brilliant. The author manages to capture the big ADHD mood and the precociousness of baby Jon while managing to write a wonderful storyline. Time travel! Elderly lesbians! A Jonah who is wildly in over his head but was walloped over the head with paternal instinct! Baby Gerry! What more could you possibly ask for?

rooms full of people who do not love each other yet by seaer

Summary:

“Wanted to ask about a book.” The boy has his hand on the counter, and he leans into it, nonchalant. The library is air-conditioned, but by no means frigid, and Jon can’t help but feel sweaty just looking at the layers he’s wearing; what looks like old leather over an olive-green Magnus pullover over his school shirt. “Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”

Jon says, tetchily, “We’re about to close.”

“I know. Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”

Notes: I am so in love with this author’s writing style and the way they write the characters!! The jon and gerry friendship is PERFECT and the character interactions are all darling.

if you read these fics please send the authors some love, they definitely deserve it!! 

[cherrybombusa]

GROUP THREE  - THE FINALE.

PLAYERS:

THE WANNABE - Virginia Ann Virginia. THE BITCH - Zahra Jackson. THE REPORTER - Clarissa Teller.

MEMORABLE MOMENTS:

-The Intrepid Reporter, Clarissa Teller stood in for one of the Gang! She now has firsthand knowledge of the Candy Girl.  The Gang chose luck, and passed! They gained extra hints on their puzzle due to their success.  -The Gang used all three tries on their puzzle, and succeeded.  -Zahra chased the Candy Girl.  -The Gang ran away from Dean Hargrove when he confronted them - this will come back to bite them later. 

The kissing booth had been a successful venture for the lifeguards every year, but with Virginia Virginia at the helm of the booth this year, the sunscreen fund was far from suffering. She was helping to count the money when a little note fell out of one of the stacks of cash. What it said? “MEET ME BACKSTAGE AT 7:30 SHARP, OR I SPILL YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. SEE YOU SOON!” @virginiacherries

Zahra had spent most of the day on Roller Coaster Row along with the rest of the Boardwalk’s patrons, but now that the day was winding down to a close - and the Coasters were taking a break to draw the crowd down to the stage - she’d better go find her friends. It probably would have been difficult had she been on her own in the endeavor, but like a miracle worker, a Boardwalk worker shows up and tells her that Rory has been looking for her. Apparently her cousin is backstage waiting for her. Huh. She must be with the band -- and Zahra better hurry to get there before the ribbon cutting starts. @zahrajackson

THE NARRATOR: Reunions were supposed to be pleasant occasions, weren’t they? They were supposed to bring feelings of joy, and nostalgia; you were supposed to forget the awkward haze that had plagued your last year all together in high school, and just… pretend like the good old days were actually just that. Good. Absence did make the heart grow fonder and all that, didn’t it? 

Though, maybe it’s silly to wonder why this little reunion, hanging out in the wings of the Main Stage, might not be so pleasant. It had only been a week ago that Virginia was drugged in Harvey’s basement, after all. Playing at the whims of a suspected lunatic, baring their souls - and their tongues - to each other. Not even ‘a Day in Carousel Cove!’ could smooth over that awkward little blip, could it? And the fact that Clarissa could just tell something was up with the little group definitely didn't help.

Still, the three of them made their polite-ish, familiar conversation. Zahra was wondering where Rory was - Clarissa was wondering where the heck that hunk, Harvey Hargrove was - and Virginia… Well, she was wondering where the hell this Candy Girl was.

ZAHRA: Zahra was getting a little annoyed to be honest. Going backstage would definitely not help keep her... whatever with Casey on the down low, and being caught in semi-awkward, semi-polite conversation with Virginia and Clarissa was nowhere in her day plan. The sooner she could find where the hell Rory was, the better as far as she was concerned. "Okay, let's skip to the part where we're done talking," she interrupted abruptly, clearly having been paying little attention to what was being said. "Have either of you seen Rory or can I go?"

VIRGINIA ANN: Virginia wasn't shaking in her boots just yet, but she couldn't help but feel the lump in the back of her throat when she had read that little note. So cryptic, but so telling. The last thing she wanted was for everyone to find out her dirty little secret(s) so she showed up and played nice, as much as Virginia Virginia could play nice. "Um, hello? Were you like not given a lesson in Polite 101?" Virginia quipped back, motioning between herself and Clarissa. "Do we look like we'd know where Rory is? She's probably somewhere making out with Libby." Frankly, Virginia didn't give two flying farts about where Rory was, she was just wondering about where this coveted Candy Girl was. She wasn't expecting whoever they were to show up, but there was a part of her that kept her eyes flocking between everyone. Maybe it was Zahra or Clarissa who had sent her the note. Or maybe Virginia was just letting this get under her skin a little too much.

THE NARRATOR: Clarissa is just about to question the statement - um, Rory and Libby? Hello, how had she never thought of the angle?! - their conversation is cut off by the sound of Dean Hargrove on the stage to their left, welcoming the citizens to the boardwalk, thanking them for a great day, and more; but before the man can introduce Lux’s parents who have just joined him onstage… Before he can start in on his plans to announce the renaming of the ‘Lux Lewis Memorial Carousel’, he’s cut off by a voice that none of them quite recognize… a voice that might just damn them all.

CANDY GIRL: “REST IN PEACE TO OUR DEAR OLD LUX, BUT I HAVE NEWS THAT THE CHERRY TIMES IS TOO SCARED TO TELL! THIS WAS NO SUICIDE. LUX WAS MURDERED. THE QUESTION IS - WHICH ONE OF HER FRIENDS DID IT?”

THE NARRATOR: At that moment, a sheet unfurls behind Dean Hargrove, and a projector that seems to have been installed into the soundbooth across from the stage flips on. The image it casts should be a shocking sight, but to our little ragtag slice of the gang, the Cherry Bomb logo is all too recognizable. The image is a blown up cover of her latest issue, and - surprise, surprise! - Lux is once again the star. 

It would have been hard not to hear the collective gasp of the crowd - to feel the tension that had pulled it’s way into the air around them - but this little slice of the gang is too focused on copy after copy of the Cherry Bomb falling from the catwalks above the mainstage to notice. Everyone is looking up, away from the sick slideshow that’s now showing crime scene photos from the night of Lux’s death - trying to get a glimpse of whoever is throwing them - but nobody can quite see who is responsible. One thing is for sure, though. Whoever they are, they’ve got Boardwalk Employee shirts on.

CANDY GIRL: “AND TO THAT LITTLE GANG! MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE LATEST ISSUE. SOMEONE IS MISSING, AND YOU’RE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN FIND THEM BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. GOOD LUCK!”

THE NARRATOR: Just as the little message is over, and the vicinity is filled with the all-too-loud sound of Cherry Bomb by the Runaways bursting their eardrums… Something slaps to the ground behind them. The three of them turn, just in time to come face to face with a figure in a black hoodie - at their feet? An issue of the Cherry Bomb.

They can’t quite tell if it’s a woman or a man; they can’t quite tell how tall they are without the help of their boots, or what the color of their hair is. The only thing distinctive enough to notice is the fucking mask that’s staring them all right back in the face; smiling like a lunatic, and sending chills down their spines.

Could this actually be her? Could it… Could it actually be the Candy Girl?

Nobody moves for a moment; a long moment. So, when the figure finally kicks a foot out to slide the magazine toward them - the issue only stopping when it hits their own shoes - they can’t help but flinch… And then again, when they take off running.

MAKE A CHOICE: WHOEVER THE HELL THAT IS - THEY’RE GETTING AWAY! DO YOU WANT TO CHASE THEM [STRENGTH], OR LET THEM GO [CALM]?

ZAHRA: Zahra's mind was moving a million miles a minute, jumping from Lux's potential murder to the copies of the Cherry Bomb raining down to frantically trying to remember when she had last seen any of the rest of the gang, to the likelihood of the person in front of her being the Candy Girl. A hundred little things were in her brain, so when she took of running after the hooded figure she wasn't even fully thinking about it. The math was simple and instinctive - whoever they were, they were involved. If they were involved, they had information. Information means one step closer to making sure she doesn't lose another member of her little found family. Not to mention that if they were involved, they were at least partial responsible for this whole clusterfuck and that could not go unpunished. Never before had she been so glad she hadn't worn heels (sandals and painted toenails were much more beach appropriate, anyway).

THE NARRATOR: Ha. The figure had been expecting them to give chase, and they fell right into the time trap. Zahra gave a good chase - ducked when they did, dove through every sudden turn they made. She was good - better than they thought she would be - but she wasn't good enough. 

It was somewhere in the crowd that figure finally managed to get the jump on her. She was being pushed in every direction - pulled by the chaos of people trying to get the hell out of the chaos - when she finally lost sight of them. What she did find, though? The supposed ‘Candy Girl’s’ mask on the ground, trampled by the onlookers, but still there... at least she had proof, right? 

So much for throwing hands. She better get back to Clarissa and Virginia.

MAKE A CHOICE: THE GANG HAS SUFFERED A TIME PENALTY FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

THE NARRATOR: Zahra's losing the masked lunatic or not - however annoyed Virginia was that she hadn't caught her - they were personally delivered a copy of the Cherry Bomb for a reason, right? The Candy Girl wouldn’t just show herself if there weren’t some grand scheme involved. 

Clarissa wants to go get her father, like, ASAP, but somehow the other two manage to convince her not to do it. They have to open the Cherry Bomb alone - they would surely get punished if they went to the police. Right?

The cover is collaged with photos of Lux, the inside? Crime scene photos. There’s no pictures of her body, of course - that would be crude, even for the Candy Girl… kind of. But images of the blood soaked into her carpet; still pictures of her bedroom, flaunting a life once lived, those are there. A shot of her suicide note, ‘I’m sorry, I love you,’ and all.

  And right there, in the middle of the spread, like a centerfold? A note, written in Sharpie - just for our ragtag little slice of the gang.

CANDY GIRL: GET OUT,,, GET OUT, WHEREVER YOU’RE LOCKED!!!! NOT A FAN OF SMALL SPACES?? I’LL STICK YOU IN A BOX. SOMEONE IS MISSING, BUT I WON’T SAY WHO… FIND THE KEY, AND FIND OUT WHO. 

BUT WATCH OUT, WATCH OUT! YOU’RE ON THE CLOCK! LET IT RUN OUT, AND THEY’LL STAY IN THE BOX. WILL THE TIDE COME IN? HMM, MAYBE IT WON’T. OR BETTER YET? MAYBE YOUR FRIENDS WILL FLOAT.

THE NARRATOR: Oh...my. Now, that’s a predicament, isn’t it? I suppose we’re at least lucky that the Candy Girl leaves the rules simple, right? Find a key, and… Maybe she doesn’t kill one of your friends. Maybe.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU MUST FIND A KEY, BUT HOW DO YOU IT? BY LOOKING FOR CLUES [PROBLEM SOLVING] OR BY TEARING BACKSTAGE APART? [LUCK]

VIRGINIA ANN: Virginia didn't know if it was her lack of critical thinking, Zahra running off, or the photos within the Cherry Bomb, but after the initial shock of the crime scene photos, the last thing Virginia wanted was someone to end up like Lux again. Virginia had never considered murder, she thought she had pushed Lux to the edge of her suicide but was Candy Girl right? Had Lux been murdered and if so, was this lunatic the one who was doing it? And were they planning on doing it again if the three of them didn't act fast enough? A key, Virginia could do that. She could find that. Immediately after reading the note, the blonde began tearing apart every surface she could. Tearing tarps away, moving cords, opening boxes, anything that could lead her to the puzzle piece they needed.

THE NARRATOR: It shouldn’t have worked - it definitely shouldn’t have worked! But, somehow - with the heads of Zahra, Clarissa, and Virginia on the case - the three girls actually manage to find something. It’s a Cherry red briefcase with a lock on the top; a place for a four digit code. And get this, Clarissa was looking at the note, and it turns out that it was a clue all along!

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS. YOU HAVE GAINED EXTRA HINTS FOR THE RIDDLE, AND MADE IT EASIER TO RESCUE YOUR FRIEND.

ZAHRA: Zahra enters 2134 into the lock.

MAKE A CHOICE: WRONG CODE. TRY AGAIN.

VIRGINIA ANN: Virginia enters 3214 into the lock.

MAKE A CHOICE: WRONG CODE. TRY AGAIN

CLARISSA: Clarissa rolls her eyes. "Ugh, fine! If you, like, seriously need me to be the one to put it in, then I'll do it, but don't blame me when the thing blows up!" The blonde was terrified - of course it was this gang of weirdos who got her pulled into this kind of trouble - but as she clicks '3142' into the briefcase... miraculously it clicks open. And doesn't explode. Thank god!

THE NARRATOR: Finally, the box pops open, and as promised, they’re granted a shiny little key on a ring… But along with it, they’re also given another note from the Candy Girl. Another riddle.

CANDY GIRL:  SOMEONE IS MISSING - YOU HAVE THE KEY.

BUT YOU NEED TO MORE, FROM YOUR FRIENDS, YOU SEE.

ONLY THREE WILL PLEASE THE LOCK - ONLY THREE UNLOCK THE BOX.

TWO MUST RUN, THEY MUST RETRIEV!

BUT THE ONE, MUST SCOPE THE BEACH. MISSINGS THE THEME, MISPELLED IS THE CLUE, FOR THE DIRECTION THAT YOU’LL WANT TO DO.

TO THE RUNNERS, HERE’S YOUR CLUE! LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO HATES ONE OF YOU! BEST FRIEND OF YOUR BEST FRIEND - TWIN FLAME OF YOUR GUY. OMEONE YOU BOTH KNOW IS HIDING THEIR LIES.

THE OTHER KEY HIDES WITH THE KEEPER OF PROSE - AND MAYBE THAT ONE IS TOO ON THE NOSE. BUT IF YOU DON’T FIND HIM, NOTEBOOK AND ALL, THEN WATCH OUT, WACH OUT…

IT’S YOUR BABY THAT FALLS.

THE NARRATOR: Their hearts are pounding in their chests so loud they’re all convinced they can hear it echoing off of the walls - even over the music that’s still playing - but… Nothing could mask the sound of the Dean barking their name from behind them; Lux’s parents watching, horrified, as they pick up the copy of the Cherry Bomb that’s still laying there on the ground, where they left it. “Would any of you like to explain to Mr. and Mrs. Lewis what the hell is going on here?” 

No, no, no! There’s no time for this. They have to solve the riddle - they have to find the keys before it’s too late. Somebody needs to get rid of the Dean… or maybe they just need to run.

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEBODY GET RID OF THE DEAN, [CHARISMA, BRAVERY, HONESTY] OR RUN! [BRAVERY, FIGHTER, SURVIVOR]

ZAHRA: Zahra didn't even register the words of the Dean. Her mind was stuck on that line - IT’S YOUR BABY THAT FALLS. Icy fear filled her at the implications - this was Rory they were working to save. With those five words the Candy Girl had reached into her heart and wrapped a hand around it, threatening to rip it out entirely. They didn't have time to hesitate or explain - not with Rory on the line. Fuck. Fuckity fucking fuck. The Dean's voice was a faded muffle, drowned out by her pounding heart as she looked at Virginia and Clarissa. Her eyes had narrowed and her hands had curled into fists, crushing the second note with the force of her anger, panic, and pure terror. "We're running," she said simply, determination and fear both audible in her tone. And, for the second time that day, she took off as fast she could, holding onto that note and the hope that they'd solved the riddle correctly.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS. EVERYONE MUST RUN! SPLIT UP. FIND THE CORRECT FRIENDS. RUN THE CORRECT DIRECTION ON THE BEACH. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO WIN. EVERYONE RESPOND. [STRENGTH, BRAVERY, OR FIGHTER]

CLARISSA: Clarissa thinks it's a bad idea to leave her to run for the keys... and then all the way back to the beach. Like, did they think she was Superwoman, or something? But if this Candy Girl was really as sinister as she seemed to be - well, Rissa couldn't exactly let Rory Collins, like, die on the beach, could she? Besides the fact that her Dad would be pissed at her, even she had to admit it would totally hang onto her conscience until she bit the dust too. So with a groan, she just takes off toward wherever the hell Noah is and hopes that he has this dumb key. He better. She didn't want to be seen talking to Noah Russell, for like. Any other reason.

MAKE A CHOICE: CLARISSA WAS SUCCESSFUL. SHE MUST GET TO THE BEACH.

VIRGINIA ANN: As soon as Zahra said that they were running, it took no time for Virginia's feet to start going. There wasn't much going on in her brain, but it didn't take a genius to deduce that Zahra would be the one going after Rory and that it would be Virginia and Clarissa getting the keys. With her legs moving as quickly as she possibly could, Virginia hunted for Libby who she hoped would have a key for her. It's not like she wanted to go to another funeral before her 19th birthday.

MAKE A CHOICE: VIRGINIA WAS SUCCESSFUL. SHE MUST GET TO THE BEACH.

ZAHRA: Zahra ran as fast as she could, for once uncaring about keeping her hair perfect or her clothes pristine. She just ran west, heading for the beach. Her legs burned with exertion but the adrenaline had well and truly kicked in. Losing Rory was unacceptable - especially so soon after Lux. Especially not when she was here this time, actually able to do something.

VIRGINIA ANN: After getting the key from Libby, Virginia prayed to the stolen Louis Vuitton bag in her possession that she had gotten everything in time. With a huff, she took off in the direction of the beach, her legs pumping more than she ever thought they could. If there was a list of things Virginia was grateful for it'd be that stolen bag and the years of cheer conditioning that prepped her for a true life-or-death moment.

CLARISSA: Yikes. So, apparently the little group had been through more hell than she thought. She had retrieved the key from Noah, and along with it she had gotten a sneak peek at another little piece of the gang that had been tormented over the last half hour. Had it really only been a half hour? Christ.

She had to stop thinking about it, though - she had to stop thinking about how much she wished she had actually stuck to her cardio, like she had insisted she would over New Years - and keep pushing. She wouldn't let Rory Collins die. The Lux news cycle was barely even over!

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS... KIND OF.

THE NARRATOR: Zahra scopes the beach far and wide, it’s an exhaustive effort, but after a mighty search, they finally spot it. The tide has been coming in - barely the top is visible… and it’s filling with water fast. She could already be gone. They sprint toward it with all of their might - they pray that she’s still breathing in her little prison… But is she? 

MAKE A CHOICE: UNLOCK THE BOX.

ZAHRA: Zahra had never been as grateful for Virginia, Clarissa, or several years of competitive commitment to cheer as she was right now. Maybe this was the first time she'd been truly grateful for Virginia in, like, ever. She'd never admit it, but her hands were shaking as she fit the keys into the locks, holding them a little too tight to make sure there was no chance of dropping them and having them be washed away by the tide. With her heart in her throat, she unlocked the locks one by one, threw the box open, and pulled her cousin out into her arms.

RORY:  Rory wasn’t sure how long she had been locked in here. Her throat was raw from screaming for help, from crying between shouting. No one seemed to be coming. At that realization, she’d curled up as small as she could in the claustrophobic little box, with her arms wrapped tight around her ears as she tried to block out the sound of the waves that were so nearby. Too close for comfort. 

If those people with the masks came back - god, she wished they would just come back - she wasn’t going anywhere without a fight. Not that it had helped when they grabbed her. Rough hands yanking her into the dark. 

Her hands was sore from throwing herself against the top, trying with everything she had to break through. After a while, she’d given up on that, certain that an ugly bruise was already blooming on both palms. She promised herself she’d keep trying anyway if no one came in the next few hours. Surely someone would realize she was gone soon, wouldn’t they?

God knows how long it had already been. At least 3 hours - maybe more. Maybe a lot more. Rory wished she had a watch. Or a light. For the first time, she wished she was more addicted to the cigs she occasionally bummed off of others. At least a lighter’s meager flame would have offered some comfort in the pitch black box. Rory couldn’t even see her hand when she held it in front of her face.

She hated the dark. Hated it. She hated the water more… so when she started to hear the sound of those waves, crashing up against the walls of her tiny prison? When she began to feel her clothes getting wet, and smelling the salty foam in her nose? When what little air she had became a crack in the corner of the box, and when she got so tired that she began sputtering on water? 

Rory was going to die here, wasn’t she?

The sound of someone running on the beach - someone shouting her name - jarred her from her spiraling thoughts. It pulled her from the haze of near-death, and giving up. She let out a bloodcurdling scream, and pounded on the top of the box with her hands. “HELLO? LET ME OUT OF HERE!” She shrieked, her voice sounding hoarse even to her own ears. Her thoughts tripped over one another as hope flooded her brain. They came- they came and they got her, her friends -

As soon as the top of the box started to crack, she bolted through the opening and threw her arms around the first person she saw in a death-grip hug. She was shaking, tears spilling down her cheeks, and unable to stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “Oh my god you came, you guys came,” before her throat was too tight to speak anymore.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU HAVE SAVED RORY AND SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED YOUR PLOT EVENT.

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade��s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

[flowersandskeletons526]

“Broken Noses and Bad Ideas” - Glitradora Fanfic Part 7

It has been so much fun getting back into this! Enjoy!

----

Catra bared her teeth at the lanky blonde. Double Trouble grinned and threw their arms around her. “Oh Kitten, I missed you! We left on such bad terms!”

Muttering curse words, Catra shoved them away. “Yeah, and whose fault was that?”

“Well, usually I’m never one to admit fault, but we can go halfsies on this one.”

“Halfsies?! Are you fucking - you know what, forget it. What are you doing here, DT?”

“I wanted to visit. Am I not allowed to see you anymore?” 

Catra bit her tongue and tasted blood. “Come outside and we’ll talk.”

She stormed out of the house with Double Trouble in tow. She leaned against the van, arms crossed, tapping her foot in the dirt, while they stood before her with a wicked grin. 

“Well?” she snapped. “What do you want?” 

“I told you - I wanted to visit. We haven’t seen each other since-”

“Don’t.”

Double Trouble snickered. “Not one for reminders today, are we?” 

“I told you to stay away from me!” 

“Oh, come on.” They grabbed her chin and leaned close. “Did you really mean that?”

Catra slapped their hand away. “Yes, I did. I meant it when I told you to stay away from me, I meant it when I said I hate you, and I meant it when I said I never want to see you again!” 

“Ouch. That stings, Kitten.” 

Catra lurched towards them. “Stop calling me that!”

Covering their mouth with their hand, Double Trouble laughed and walked in a slow circle around her, watching her suck her anger back through gritted teeth. “Me-ow! So agitated! I mean no harm, you know.”

“What. Do. You. Want.” 

“I heard you and your little band were playing around here and decided I wanted to visit.” Standing behind Catra, they drummed their fingers along her shoulders. She clenched her teeth and watched them from the corner of her eye. She knew this game. “Well, more than that.”

Of course.

“I have a bit of a proposition. I take it you’re still working for everyone’s favorite edgelord?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Yes, then. I was hoping you and I could go back to our previous arrangement.” 

Catra bristled. “If you think I would ever-”

“Not that arrangement. Our original one. The one where I find the people your boss sends you after and you give me a generous stipend for my efforts. Take some of the stress away so you can focus on your personal ventures.” 

“Personal ventures. Like you.” 

They grinned and wrapped their arms around her shoulders. “I didn’t say it.” 

Catra laughed coldly. “You don’t have a job, do you?”

With a gasp of indignance, Double Trouble jumped back. “I am in between roles, thank you very much! There’s not much in the way of the Etherian theater scene.”

“How long have you been here?”

“A few months now. I found a lovely hotel I’ve been staying at between auditions.”

“You can afford a hotel?”

“They don’t check the cars in the parking lot.”

“There it is.” 

“Which is why you should bring me back onto your team. What do you say?” They dragged their long, sharp nails down Catra’s arm. “Just a few trips down memory lane?”

Catra hesitated. The worst distraction in her life behind Adora was back, right when she needed her focus the most. She had to deal with Hordak, she had to keep up with her work, she had the band to manage. And now with this old case coming back to haunt her, her and Glimmer…

Glimmer. She had to keep all of this away from Glimmer. She only had to keep this up long enough for the heat to blow over, for the cops to move on to another cold case, for Hordak to send her along to another city and away from the mess she fell into. Away from Glimmer. Maybe she could convince Sparkles to come with her. 

No. No, she couldn’t even entertain that thought. There was no way that could even happen, not with Adora hanging around.

Fuck, of course she had to be here! Of course she had to end up being Sparkles’ best friend, too. Why did this shit always happen to Catra? 

She bit her tongue. Dealing with that case was her main objective at this point. It couldn’t hurt to have someone dealing with the other aspects of her work, could it?

“Fine,” she finally said. “You find my targets for me, like you used to, and that’s all.”

“Oh, wonderful! I knew you’d come around, darling!” 

“And you’re sleeping in the driveway in your car.”

Double Trouble forced a smile. “Always a catch with you. I’ll go get my things and be back tonight.”

They started for their car. Just as they grabbed the door handle, Catra called to them. 

“And just so we’re clear, Trouble, this is business.” She narrowed her eyes as they turned back to her. “What happened between us? Never again. Ever.”

They winked. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Kitten.”

“And don’t call me that!” 

Double Trouble took off with a roar of the engine and a cloud of dust. Catra coughed and wiped the dirt out of her eyes. She watched their car until it disappeared down the road. Biting her tongue hard, she spun on her heel and marched back inside. 

She swung the door open, and Scorpia stumbled back from her place pressed against it. The taller woman laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh, hey Catra! I wasn’t listening.”

“They’re going to be staying in the driveway for a while. Just while they’re in between roles or whatever.” 

“O-Okay. Um, why are we letting - oh, alright.”

Scorpia stepped aside as Catra swept past her. “Don’t worry about it,” she dismissed.

“Noted.” Scorpia hovered near Catra’s shoulder as she sat at the table. “Didn’t, um… Maybe this is a sensitive subject but, uh, didn’t you two have a, well, a thing?”

“Scorpia,” Catra snapped, “what part of ‘don’t worry about it’ wasn’t clear to you?”

“Yep. You got it. Hear you loud and clear.” She paused. “But just so we’re on the same page-”

“Scorpia.”

“Okay, shutting up now.” 

“Thank you.” 

Catra’s phone rang. She bristled at the name on the screen. 

“Catra.”

“Out!” 

Scorpia bolted for her and Lonnie’s room without further comment. 

Catra answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Catra,” Hordak growled. “I have another job for you.”

“Already? How extensive is your business in Etheria?”

“That is none of your concern. Your job is to go after who I send you after. Am I understood?”

“Yes sir.” 

“I will send you the details. Take care of it.”

“You had to call me for this?”

“Watch your tongue,” he barked. “We have more business to discuss. The case we discussed - what more have you found out?” 

Did she give him Glimmer’s name? She had to. He would kill her if she didn’t and he found out!

If he found out.

“Nothing. I haven’t heard anything about it.”

“Excellent. I expect regular updates.”

“Of course.”

The line went dead. A text message with addresses and names popped up on screen the next moment. Catra dropped the phone onto the table and took a deep breath. Pushing her fatal lie from her mind, she grabbed the car keys and left, hunting down another poor bastard who crossed the wrong man. 

How long until her name was on that list?

----

Glimmer called just as Catra stumbled back to the van, covered in blood that was not her own. She sighed and let it ring as she fished a stained rag out of the glove box. She wiped away as much of the blood as she could, taking special care to get it off her face before tossing the cloth somewhere in the back seat. 

The ride home was quick. She was greeted with loud squabbling coming from the kitchen, something to do with Kyle as usual. Only Scorpia greeted her, and she waved her off, retreating to her room. She plopped down on the bed with a heavy sigh. 

She picked up the phone and dialed Glimmer’s number. She needed to have some fun tonight.

The punk princess answered after two quick rings. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Sparkles.” 

“Catra! I was starting to think you weren’t going to call me.” 

“Ah, work stuff. Got pulled away for a little bit. What, did you really miss me that much?”

“You wish.” 

Catra laughed. “Damn, alright then. So does that mean you wouldn’t be interested in joining me at the club tonight? I’m in the mood for dancing.”

“Don’t you have a performance?”

“Not tonight. So Princess, are you in or out?”

“I’m in. What time?” 

“Meet me outside the Seaworthy Tavern at nine tonight.” 

“The Seaworthy? Isn’t that place a little seedy?”

“Oh, the magic princess is bougie now. I found you laying in a pool of blood the second time we met and you’re worried about a place being a little seedy?”

“Okay, I get the point. I’ll be there.” 

“Good. See you then, Princess.” 

Catra tossed her phone aside. She smelled at her shirt and recoiled. Fuck, she needed a shower. Running her hands through her shirt, she headed for the bathroom. 

Double Trouble was standing outside her bedroom door when she opened it. “What’s this I hear about clubbing tonight?”

“Ah! Fuck! How long were you standing there!”

“That’s besides the point. I’ve been waiting to have some fun in this town. Can I come? Oh, pretty please?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, I don’t care. Just leave me alone.” She shoved them aside and continued. Their eyes bored into her back as she left. 

----

Glimmer waited for Catra outside the club. Scorpia and the rest of the band tagged along and parted from her with a wave. Double Trouble headed straight inside with them, not noticing Catra slip away to join the pink and purple leather clad girl standing on the edge of the building. Catra wore tight black leather pants and a red corset with a long leather jacket over it. Her wild hair was pushed back from her face. She stood in front of Glimmer, who was focused on her phone, without speaking. She looked up after a moment and immediately went red in the face, violet eyes wide. 

Catra snickered. “How do I look?”

A string of nonsensical noises left Glimmer’s mouth before any real words formed. “You look, um, well, you - wow.”

“That good?”

“Yeah.”

“Right back at you, Sparkles.” 

Glimmer blushed again and tucked her hair behind her ear. She nodded towards the door. “Want to head in?”

“Sure.” Catra offered an arm that Glimmer accepted, holding onto her as they strolled inside. 

The club was lit with blue and green lights that rippled like water on the walls. The dance floor was packed with people and more crowded around the bar, tossing back shots and chugging cheap beers. Cigarette smoke hung in the air. Glimmer squeezed Catra’s arm and headed for the bar. 

“What are you drinking?” she asked. 

“Vodka cranberry,” Catra said with a nod to the bartender, a tall, built woman with a bandana and a messy white undercut. A fish hook tattoo was inked on her neck. 

“Whiskey on the rocks for me,” Glimmer added. 

The bartender nodded and made their drinks. She passed Catra hers and then slid the other to Glimmer with a coy smirk. “Yours is on me,” she purred. 

Catra growled, nearly cracking her glass in her grip. She swooped in before Glimmer could respond, wrapping an arm around her neck and flashing her fangs with a sneer. She leaned into Glimmer.

“Thanks for the offer, but you can just put it on my tab,” she drawled. 

The bartender scowled at her. She stuck out her tongue and steered Glimmer away. Glimmer laughed as they found an empty spot along the wall. She leaned her shoulder against the wall and sipped her drink. 

“That was a lot,” she remarked, raising an eyebrow. 

Catra grunted. “Didn’t like her face.”

“Are you usually possessive like that?”

“Why? Turn off?” 

Glimmer shrugged. “We’ll find out.”

“Is that a proposition, Princess?”

“Dance with me first and you’ll see.”

Catra grinned and abandoned her drink. She let Glimmer pull her onto the floor, their hands landing on each other as they moved to the music. Catra watched Glimmer, completely enraptured by the way she glowed and sparkled in the dim light, staring at her eyes as they lit up. The bass from the speakers boomed in her chest and amplified her own pulse pounding in her head. She sucked in a sharp breath as Glimmer wrapped her arms around her neck, their bodies pressed together. 

Glimmer sighed, her breath hot on Catra’s ear, and pressed a soft kiss to her neck. Catra tried to hide her shiver. 

“Thank you for showing up in my life,” she murmured, her voice cutting through the music. “You’re the only thing keeping my head on straight lately.” 

“That’s a bad thing to rely on me for.”

“I don’t care.” Glimmer tangled her fingers in Catra’s hair and tilted her head back to look at her. “There’s something about you that I can’t name.”

“My charm? My wit? My dashing good looks?”

“Not that.”

“Ouch, Sparkles.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. It’s something else. Your edge, maybe, or the fact that you can go whatever you want. I wish I had freedom like that.” 

“Mm. I’ve got more responsibilities than you’d think.”

“What responsibilities do you have tonight?”

“Nothing but what you tell me.”

Glimmer giggled, her lips brushing Catra’s. “I like the sound of that.”

Catra pressed her lips together. They spent a brief eternity on the dance floor, squeezed together in the crowd, their hands and lips on each other’s skin. Even with so little liquor in her system, Catra was drunk off the feeling of Glimmer against her. At one point, they pulled apart and pressed their foreheads together, simply swaying as a slower song played. 

“I wish we had more chances to see each other,” Glimmer said. “Besides going to your shows.”

“You know Adora would kill me if this got back to her,” Catra pointed out. 

“I know.” 

“Is the thrill of sneaking around losing its edge?” 

“Life is more entertaining with you.”

“The feeling’s mutual, Sparkles.” She kissed Glimmer’s cheek. “I’m going to go get us another drink. Same thing?”

“Make it a double this time.”

“Got it.” 

Glimmer stepped off the floor and went to stand with Scorpia and Lonnie by the wall while Catra went to the bar. She exchanged a quick glare with the bartender. As she watched the woman make their drinks, she sensed someone standing behind her. 

Double Trouble leaned on her with their arm draped over her shoulder. “Now tell me, Kitten,” they said, “who on earth is that tooth-achingly cute ball of glitter you’ve been dancing with all night?” 

“A girl I know,” Catra said dismissively.

“Oh darling, that is not how you act with ‘a girl you know.’ That’s why you were so angry about me showing up! You didn’t want me butting in on your little romance!”

“I didn’t want you showing up because I hate you.” 

“You and half the theater business. So, give me the details! What’s her name, how did you meet, is she good in bed?” 

“Shut the fuck up. You said you would leave me alone tonight.”

“I lied. Buuuuuuut maybe I will if you give me a little information.” 

“That’s all you care about, isn’t it?”

“Information runs the world, darling. I thought you would have learned that by now.” 

Catra snarled and turned away. “Her name is Glimmer. That’s all you’re getting.” 

“For now.”

“Period.”

Catra grabbed the drinks and stormed off to find Glimmer. The moment she found her, she pulled her into a searing kiss and pushed the drink into her hand. 

“Finish that quick and let’s get out of here,” she growled. 

Glimmer grinned. “Let’s skip it and go straight back to my place.”

“Sounds good to me.” 

Catra couldn’t get back to Glimmer’s apartment fast enough. Glimmer pulled her into a harsh, bruising kiss the moment the door closed. Catra barely locked it before Glimmer pulled them towards the bedroom. Their clothes ended up discarded on the floor. 

Catra stopped them just as they fell onto the bed. “Are you sure you want to do this? I know last time you said-”

“I’m fine. I want this.” 

“Okay.” 

Glimmer grinned and pulled the covers over them. 

----

They laid awake in the middle of the night, curled up with each other in the low candlelight. Glimmer’s head rested on Catra’s chest. Her hair was messy and swept back from her face. Catra carded her fingers through it as Glimmer traced the various scars covering her body.

“What’s this one from?” she asked. 

“Adora and I went rock climbing when we were little and she fell so I went jumping after her.” 

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Let’s talk about a different one.”

“Okay.” Glimmer reached up and traced a long scar stretching from the back of Catra’s neck down her shoulder. “What about this one?”

“I got into a fight and the guy pulled a knife on me.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m completely serious. I ended up winning, too.”

Glimmer propped herself up and leaned over Catra. “How do you get into so much trouble being in a cover band?”

“Hey, we have original songs, too.” Catra’s mouth continued before she could stop it. “And I have more business than the band.”

“Like what?”

Fuck.

“Just… dealing with people. Fights. Issues people have with us and stuff like that. The music industry is surprisingly cutthroat, you know.” 

“Hm. Weird.” 

“Mm.” Catra yawned and stretched. 

“Tired?” 

“A little.” 

Glimmer snuggled up to her and closed her eyes. “You can stay the night, you know.”

Catra smiled and laid back. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

She woke up with Glimmer still cuddled under her arm. Late morning light streamed in through the curtains, casting a halo around the sleeping girl. Rubbing her eyes, Catra stretched her arms above her head. Glimmer stirred as Catra untangled herself. Catra smiled.

“Morning.” 

“Good morning.” Glimmer rolled over and draped herself over Catra’s stomach. “How did you sleep?”

“Good enough. You?”

“Good. What are your plans for today?”

“I’ve got to get back to the house eventually for rehearsal. Scorpia starts getting anxious if I’m gone too long.” Catra brushed Glimmer’s hair out of her eyes. “What about you?”

“I have stuff to get done around the store. It’s the one day I’m closed so I have to get paperwork and cleaning and stocking done.”

“Wow, sounds boring.”

“Is it,” Glimmer whined. 

Catra chuckled and brushed the side of Glimmer’s neck, tracing the purple marks on her throat. “You should probably cover these before you go anywhere.”

“Ugh, who cares? I would rather stay in bed all day.”

“You know, you could always-”

“Glimmer!”

Catra jumped at the sound of Adora’s voice. Glimmer flinched. “Son of a bitch, Adora, what are you doing here?” she hissed. 

“Does she usually just show up unannounced?” Catra growled. 

“Yeah, she does. Coming, Adora!” 

Glimmer hurriedly changed into new clothes, picking a shirt that covered her neck. While she hid their clothes strewn around the apartment, Catra had enough time to pull on pants and crawl beneath the bed. 

Glimmer crouched and frowned at her. “What the hell are you doing?” she whispered. 

“What part of ‘Adora will kill me’ do you not understand?!” 

Glimmer rolled her eyes. Catra made sure she was hidden as Glimmer answered the door, but she maintained a clear line of sight into the living room. She caught a glimpse of Adora’s stupid peppy face over Glimmer’s shoulder. 

“Hey, I haven’t heard from you, I wanted to check on you,” the blonde said. 

“I’m fine, I’ve just been working,” Glimmer dismissed. 

“Are you cold? Why are you wearing a turtleneck?”

Catra bit back a laugh. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I just woke up feeling cold.”

“Are you sick? Here, let me feel your forehead.”

“Adora, Adora, stop. Get off, I’m fine!”

“Okay! Look, we were - wait, is that liquor? Were you drinking again?”

“Adora, you are this close to getting kicked out if you don’t leave me alone.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. Interesting… 

Adora raised her hands. “Alright, I’ll stop. Anyway, Bow and I both have nothing to do today so we were gonna go check out the ice cream shop we used to go to and maybe walk around town. Do you want to come?”

“Adora, I’ve got so much paperwork to do and-”

“Please, Glimmer? I can help you finish when we get back and it’ll get done in five minutes!” 

“Ugh, fine. Wait for me downstairs, okay?”

“Okay!” 

Adora disappeared downstairs. Catra crawled out from under the bed as Glimmer stepped back into the bedroom. Catra raised an eyebrow. Glimmer cringed and jerked her thumb towards the door. 

“I have to go deal with that,” she said. 

“Yeah. Have fun with that.”

“Look, I had a lot of fun last night. I’ll call you, okay? You can stay as long as you want and eat something before you leave if you want.”

“Thanks, Sparkles. I’ll be out of here once Adora is.”

“I didn’t know she was going to show up.”

“I know.” Catra grabbed Glimmer’s collar and pulled her into a harsh kiss. Glimmer smiled against her lips. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” 

Catra collected the rest of her clothes once Glimmer was gone. Slipping on her shirt, she looked around the empty apartment. 

She grinned. Perfect. Now she could find some information.

[getitinbusan]

September 1st

Jungkook's Proposal

Lazy days with Jungkook were a rare luxury. His large reserves of energy meant he was always up to something even when he was on a break. 

The balcony doors were open and a cool breeze drifted through the bedroom ruffling the sheet that covered you. It was already noon but you were still tucked happily under Jungkook's arm. Both scrolling mindlessly through your phones you brought it up, “You’re going to be 23 soon, I think we should have a party.” 

He put his phone down and rolled into your side. “I was thinking about going to Jeju,” he said matter of factly. 

“Oh, were you going to invite me?” you asked smiling. 

“I was going to invite everyone, my family, the guys and yes,” he giggled, “I guess you can come too. Would that be okay?”

Running your fingers through his messy hair you pushed it back out of his face and nodded. 

“You shouldn’t have to plan your own party Jungkook, we can do it together." 

You had a week to figure things out, guests, accommodations, food. You really just wanted to give him the best birthday, he deserved it. 

Jungkook however, wasn’t being very cooperative. Everytime you asked questions he shut you down, if you brought it up he brushed you off. He was downstairs at the gym when you came across his to do list. 

Call and confirm guests✔ 

Book Flights✔

Book Hotel ✔ 

Schedule Dinner and party space✔

Reserve private beach✔

*do not forget to pick up the package*

Puzzled as to why these were already checked off as done you messaged Joon. 

Y/N: Hey Joon, I just wanted to invite you to Guk's party in Jeju. Are you down? 

Joon: Yep, already confirmed with JK last week.  

Y/N: What kind of cake do you think I should get? 

Joon: I thought that the guys were taking care of the cake? Don’t worry about anything,  I think everything is already organized.  

Y/N: Oh… okay,  thanks. 

Flopping on the couch your mind wandered to a million different conclusions as to why he was cutting you out.

Jungkook’s key turned in the lock, the door squeaking open announcing his arrival. He was looking through his phone as he dropped his duffel bag on the floor. 

"Hey Babe, Joon said you messaged him about the party?"

He walked over to where you were sitting and tapped your nose with his finger.

"I’ve already taken care of everything, all you have to do is pack." 

Feeling disappointed your face fell into a frown. 

"What's wrong?"

"Jungkook, I just wanted to take care of you for once, to be able to contribute something.” 

He looked flustered, “I’m sorry baby, I just didn’t want to burden you with it.” 

Upset you stood up, “I can’t believe you would think that throwing you a party would be a chore for me…I feel fucking  useless."

Your statement trailed off as you walked away to your bedroom.

Y/N: I know I’m probably overthinking and being too sensitive but Tae...does he think I'm incompetent?

Tae: What’s wrong love? 

Y/N: If Guk doesn’t think I’m capable of throwing him a party…this is so stupid… but he certainly can’t think I’d be a good wife. It’s been two years Tae, we’ve never even discussed marriage. Does he think of me that way at all? 

Tae: Noooo Y/N, he loves you so much. You are totally over reacting. Please, don’t make this an issue, it’s his birthday. 

______________

You didn’t know but in the other room Jungkook was busy texting Jin for advice.  

JK: I don’t know what to do, Y/N is mad at me for not letting her help with the party. 

Jin: Coming to your smartest Hyung for love advice, good choice. Here's my wisdom, Just make up a job and ask her to do it.

JK: That’s Brilliant!!  Thank you.  

He made a quick call, arranging that you would be the one picking up the last unchecked item on his to do list, the package.

He pulled the bedroom door open and lay down beside you, “I’m sorry, I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” 

You set down your phone giving him your full attention. 

“My brother is going to propose to his girlfriend, he swore me to secrecy, that’s why I’ve been planning everything, so she won’t find out.” 

You felt your temper rise, “Are you fucking kidding me? You finally get your birthday off, you haven’t had a personal party for years and your brother's using it to propose to his girlfriend all while making you plan it for him?” 

Jungkook laughed, “It sounds kind of shitty when you put it that way. It’s really not that big of a deal Y/N, I’m happy he wants to share it with everyone.” 

How could you fault him for wanting to help his family? He was such a giving person and it was part of the reason you loved him so much. 

“If you really want to help there’s one thing left that you can do." 

_____________

It was all set, the flight was leaving at 3pm and you had been tasked with picking up the box and keeping it safe until the party. Arriving at the jeweller the older man greeted you kindly. "Would you like to see it?”

He opened the iconic tiffany blue box while you nodded. It was a beautiful square cut diamond on a vintage white gold band, it was breathtaking. 

“The gentleman took a long time deciding on this particular ring, he said it had to be perfect. What do you think?"  

Your heart was aching in your chest. Lately you found yourself daydreaming about marrying Jungkook, him placing a ring just like this on your finger. 

"She’s a lucky girl, I’m sure she’s going to love it.” 

It’s not that you weren’t happy about the engagement, you were just completely, full on green with envy, jealous. Not even together a year and Jung- Hyun is ready to propose.

You knew you were being an idiot. Jungkook loved you, you lived together, he always made sure your needs were met but here you were upset because she was getting a ring first. 

Taking the box you snapped the  lid closed and put it into your purse for safe keeping.

Enough, you needed to stop thinking about yourself. It was Guk's birthday and it was time to think of him and what he wanted. But what do you get someone who has everything

Wandering around you came across a neon lit sex shop, perfect! Three days away, three new sets of sexy lingerie and a bag full of goodies.  

Maybe you didn’t get to plan the main party but you could make sure it was an afterparty he wouldn't forget.

The flight was short and smooth,  you were amongst the last to arrive. 

Making your way to the suite to change for dinner Jungkook flung himself down on the bed, “I’m calling dibs on the first shower!” you called out.

You got ready, putting on your new black lace thong set, loose black mini sundress over top and wrapped your hair into a messy bun.  

Exiting the bathroom you found Jungkook in the same position on the bed snoring lightly. 

Crawling on top of him, you pulled back his bucket hat to reveal his closed eyes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close for more. 

“You need to get up babe.” 

He hummed softly into your neck, “that’s the problem, I am up."

He moved your hand to his bulge. Placing his hand on your ass he could feel the lace under your dress. He let out a needy moan as he squeezed your cheek. 

“Jungkook we need to go, everyone’s waiting.” 

He pouted, “But it’s my Birthday.”

Getting off of him and laughing you couldn’t help but throw it in his face.

“Yes, and if I had planned this party I would have pushed dinner back so the birthday boy could have gotten his dick sucked beforehand. You really only have yourself to blame."

He knew he was defeated, rolling off the bed he sulked his way to the shower. 

Coming out about 20 minutes later his skin was glowing, he looked stunning in his tan hanbok pants and white dress shirt, his hair was long and fluffy. 

“You look amazing Guk.” 

Walking over you hugged him, sneaking a kiss onto the side of his neck. 

“You had your chance Y/N, now we both have to suffer all night" 

Walking hand in hand to the open air dining room most of your friends and family were already waiting at beautiful white rose adorned tables. 

"Jungkook, did you arrange all these details?” 

Smiling he nodded, “Did I do good?” 

That dull ache hit your chest again, yes he did good, he’d planned the perfect proposal… for someone else. 

You kissed his cheek and lay your head on his shoulder, “I think you’ve created every girls fantasy” 

Trying to hide your melancholy throughout dinner you stayed pretty quiet only offering small smiles instead of conversation. You didn’t want to be selfish but you knew in a few hours all talk would be about weddings. 

The thoughtless question on everyone’s lips would inevitably turn to, “when are you going to take the plunge?” 

It usually happened at family gatherings, you’d watch them corner Jungkook and he’d awkwardly explain that one day when his career wasn’t so busy he'd be able to think more clearly about it.

You hated how calculated of a decision marrying you would have to be for him. Seeing how romantic he could be with the laid out gestures before you, you questioned why he could do it for someone else but not you? Maybe he didn’t think you were the one?

Like he could hear your inner thoughts he put his hand on your thigh under the table. “What’s going on, is everything ok?”

“Just thinking about getting you back to the room later, that’s all.”

You lied. 

He kissed your cheek but you knew he didn’t believe you. Seeming a little out of sorts himself, maybe this whole situation had him questioning your future as well. 

“I think maybe we need a minute to talk, let’s go while everyone’s finishing.” 

He took your hand and led you away from the group towards a private area of the beach. 

Sitting in the sand he motioned for you to join him.

You sat with your back against his chest, head on his shoulder, his arms around you. 

The sun was beginning to set into a light shade of purple and orange. “I want to know why you’re sad.”

He asked like he knew the answer but needed confirmation. 

“I just wish that this party was about you, for your birthday, that it wasn’t about engagements…”

You were trying hard not to sound jealous but he could see through you. 

“How about you tell me the truth?” 

Reaching into your purse you pulled out the box and handed it to him. 

“This, this is what’s bothering me. Jungkook…do you think that you’ll ever want me to be your wife? Do we want the same things?” 

His arms still around you he held the box in front of you and opened it slowly.

“It sure is a beautiful ring,” he said. 

You closed your eyes, knowing it wasn’t for you. “It really is,” you answered softly.  

“Do you really not know what I want Y/N?" 

He kissed the top of your head. 

"I love you more than anything in this world. The ONLY thing I wanted for my birthday was to bring you here, to sit on this beach with my arms around you….and to propose with this ring. So… you tell me, do we really want the same thing?”

Absolutely 100% shocked you turned to face him. 

“Are you joking with me Jungkook?” you punched his shoulder.

He laughed, “I think I know better than that” 

Still skeptical you asked, “So all of this was a lie? You really made me carry around my own engagement ring all day thinking it was for someone else?”

His grin gave away the fact that he was pretty pleased with himself.

“No, you haven’t said yes yet, so technically it’s still not yours. Do you want to marry me Y/N?” 

You crashed your lips into his as he pulled you back on top of him.

“Yes!”

Walking back to the restaurant the tables had been moved and outdoor furniture and candles had taken their place. Everyone was chatting and drinking until they noticed your arrival, silence fell and eyebrows raised waiting for the news. 

“Of course she said yes!” 

At Jungkook’s declaration everyone cheered and the waiters came out with trays of champagne. The boys carried out a large white cake adorned with sparklers while singing Propose, tears of happiness gathered in everyone's eyes. 

The rest of the night was perfect, you danced in the sand oblivious to the guests filtering out back to their rooms for the evening. 

Looking around, you realized it was just the two of you left, lost in your own world. 

“Maybe we should call it a night?”

“Maybe, but I don’t really want this moment to end” he responded with a kiss. 

“Maybe… you forgot what I’m wearing under this, and that it’s also your birthday, and that I still haven’t given you your gift” 

He grinned and pulled your hand leading you back to the room. 

You left him waiting on the bed as you got ready. Finally revealing yourself, fully naked. 

He whined, “Babe what happened to the lingerie, I mean you’re beautiful naked but… ”

You cut him off, “but I’m not naked, I’m wearing this beautiful ring...and...it also just so happens that I bought you a ring too."  

You threw him the little black bag and he pulled out his gift blushing.

“Oh, mine's a little bigger...and silicone...and definitely not church appropriate.” 

You cocked your brow and grinned, "It vibrates too!" 

"Put it on me?" 

You slid the cock ring down his shaft and sucked his tip.

"Do you take me to be your wife?" 

"Fuck, yeah I do."