#simon shit post

[corvid-khaos]

fionna and cake but simon drops increasingly wild anecdotes about his life

[stupidneko]

This is the funniest shit ever

[toxooz]

also been thinking abt pooki with his cunty scarf💅

if my next drawing post isnt the comic update take me out back and shoot me like a sick dog

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[incinerated-vestiges]

he’s like a wet cat

Bonus ghoap

[eiraeths]

soap: if i was stuck in a hole would you pull me out?

ghost: if im in the mood

soap: what if i said uppies

ghost: leaving you where you deserve to die

[piranhaincaps]

[emmster]

Patreon suggested: Johnny colouring in Simon’s tattoos (set in the AU)

The cat isn’t dead just a Starcat. They adopt one once the dust settles.

That being said, take time to mourn and breathe. You don’t need to be doomscrolling 24/7. You can take a second to detach for a moment. Play a game and chill out.

Grabbing your bearings is also a way of being active. It allows you to think clearly.

In that case I recommend playing Veilguard, it is extremely good.

[gazspookiebear]

Soap is a chronic lap sitter!!! No, you cannot convince me otherwise

Ghost: "The fuck are you doing?"

Soap: "Sitting"

Ghost: "On my lap?"

Soap: "..."

Ghost: "Johnny."

Soap: "Simon :D"

Ghost: "..."

Soap: kisses him though the mask

Gaz: "Mate, why are you sitting on my lap?"

Soap: "There were nae good seats left"

Gaz: "This is the only seat here that's taken. Literally every other seat is available"

Soap: "I said there were nae good* seats left"

Gaz: "..."

Soap: sitting in Price's lap and blocking his view

Price: "For the love of God, I'm trying to watch the game!"

Soap: "Me too, now be quiet"

Price, under his breath: "Some muppet is about to be on cleaning duty for the next week"

[idyllcy]

missed call - professor!simon riley x professor!reader

Very seldom do you forget that Simon has classes at certain times.

So, when the vibrations of his phone stops him mid-lecture, voice still smooth as he looks down, he's glad that the next slide is a video and not another text-based one. He slides up on your call to tell you he'll call you back in a bit, and he starts the video as he steps out of the classroom to take your call.

He pinches the mic to turn it off, dialing you.

"Luvie?"

"Oh! Hi! Sorry, Si. I forgot you had class. I wanted to ask you if you wanted coffee."

"Tea sounds good right now."

"Mine or the lounge's?"

"Yours if you can bring it room temperature."

"Oh, alright. You have another 40 minutes, right? During or after?"

He glances at the video on the screen.

"I'm bringing it during. I wanna meet the class. Do you think they'll believe me if I tell them I'm your TA?"

"D'ya want me to catch a case?"

"Pshhh no one's going to accuse you, Si." You laugh. "Alright. Ten minutes. You're in the Social Science building? 402?"

"Yes. Gotta get back to class."

The door opens as he steps back in, the class staring at him as he glances down at the mic.

"The missus will be over in ten. If you're good, I'll finish class early."

He sighs at the whispering, going back to the slides.

Sure enough, in exactly ten minutes, you're knocking on the front door and peeking past the door, his tea in his cup as you hand it to him.

"You wanna meet the class?"

"I wasn't expecting it to be your big lecture." You mumble, voice quiet but still registering on the mic. "It's a little unprofessional."

"Nothing unprofessional about introducing the missus. Class today is on brain chemistry."

You laugh, eyes crinkling as he raises a brow.

"I offered them to end early and they've been good." He tries again.

"Maybe another time. I'll be out looking over grades." You pat his bicep twice, letting him press a kiss to the corner of your eye and head off.

He wraps up lecture early as promised, bags packed and letting everyone know to visit office hours if they had questions. He's not staying this class if you're outside waiting for him.

Sure enough, he finishes the rest of your tea for you as you tell him about your day, waving at the staring students. You meet a handful who have the guts to go up and ask Simon if you're his missus, smile gentle on his face as he introduces you.

Yes. You're the missus. His missus.

[konigsblog]

simon definitely scares you with his large figure at random times at 3am when you're grabbing water.

he'll just he sat there, sipping on his tea that doesn't look much like black tea despite what he'd said. milky and sugary, nothing like the hardened lieutenant who was bitter cold.

“simon.. what are you doing?” you question, rubbing your eyes.

“me? what are you doing? it's 3am, thought your lazyass would be asleep.”

“is that tea? at 3am? with sugar and milk...? simon, you said you liked bla–”

“go to bed, love, you're hallucinating..”

[chromaclopse]

id in alt! toxic yuri?? problematic women???? for me????????

[s0fter-sin]

mermay idea

mers keep their faces covered as a way to indicate social status and familiarity. warriors have intricate masks, handcrafted when they win their first battle and the more detailed a mask is, the more accomplished the wearer is. they're rarely shed and are only taken off for their closest kin and mates

warrior bull shark mer!soap seeing human!ghost, seeing his skull mask and immediately knowing he's a high ranking warrior; one to be feared going off the numerous scars covering his body

an ideal and worthy mate, so long as he can prove his prowess

so he follows him as he's deployed on a mission near the ocean and is smitten when he sees how ruthless and capable he is; bathing himself in his enemies blood. he keeps his distance, not wanting to tempt fate but ghost spies the tip of his fin cutting through the water

and he's nothing if not an opportunist; kicking the bodies off the pier to the waiting jaws below

but soap? all he sees is the first step in a courting ritual

and he has to come up with something truly brilliant to match such a glorious offering

on ghost's part, it's been difficult getting people to understand the depths of his dependence on his mask. price thinks it's something to overcome, gaz and other soldiers just think it's an accessory to help with intimidation

the few partners he's tried to have thought he was someone to "fix"; nothing more than an object, a notch on their belt to prove how "good" of a partner they were to put in so much work to make him better. it always leaves him feeling violated, more so than if they'd just taken his mask off outright. one night stands were hardly worth it either; scratching a physical itch but falling so short of the intimacy and connection he craves that he feels worse off than he'd started

when he finally meets the mer that's been hunting him across the country, sees the bright red mask so artfully hewn and attached to his face?

it's like looking at a reflection of himself

he might have finally found the understanding he's been searching for

[ellenchain]

Yesterday was just a bad dream 🧼💀

[stargirlstabber]

#moodboard; biker!simon riley

[pcholkachai]

aai2 spoilers

manosoutaisms ^_^ more doodles under the cut

guys be honest with me. is this curable. a bit embarrassed to let a yaoi have me in such a grip