#he rents it out to family and he lives in a tavern basement

[askchilchuck]

hi chilchuck! i was wondering if you have any siblings,,, and if so, do you have any advice on how to support them through crappy days? i'm not good at comforting others, but i'd like to try my best, and i think we have that in common/pos.

but yeah, if you have any ideas for activities that sound fun (like, ones that you wouldn't feel dragged into) or just your two cent, then that'd be great :))

I've actually got four siblings, but I was the middle child so I wasn't very good with that sort of stuff. My older brother and sister handled most of it, the rest of us just followed along. Usually getting someone out of the house worked pretty well, though. Try taking them somewhere they like going, and see if that helps.

[whitepolaris]

The White Eagle Saloon

When the McMenamins bought the White Eagle Saloon a few years ago, they knew in advance that they purchased one of Portland's most famous haunts. In 1872, the area east of the Willamette River was the town of Albina. Most of the people who settled there were German, Russia, and Polish. Russell Street was the toughest street in Albina. Thirty saloons lined Russell Street, from what is now Interstate Avenue east to Martin Luther King Way. Eventually, the city of Portland annexed Albina. The White Eagle Saloon is a survivor of those days.

According to a past owner, there has been a saloon on the same site since the mid-1800s, but the present brick saloon and café was built between 1905 and 1906. Surviving records for the White Eagle go back to 1906. It was known as the B. Soboleski and Company Saloon, owned by Barney Soboleski and William Hryszko. Modern visitors to the White Eagle admire the huge nineteenth-century oak bar with columns bracketing a large mirror. Another original feature is less easy to see: the open urinal running at the foot of the bar.

Depending on custom, there was a difference between a bar, tavern, and a saloon. Most people agree that a saloon meant that women were not allowed, except for employees. It was a man's domain. Customers could use the urinal, rather than risk losing their place at the bar or having their drinks stolen. Although the urinal has been filled in and covered over, there are some historic pictures of it hanging on the walls of the present-day White eagle.

There are several ten-by-ten-foot rooms sometimes called cribs on the top floor of the saloon. The owners and staff lived in some of these rooms, and rented the rest out to various workmen, and perhaps working women. According to rumors and legends that many serious historians consider absurd, the top floor of the White Eagle was a brothel staffed by white prostitutes, while black and Asian prostitutes served customers in the basement. This would explain why several people have reported seeing a woman leaning out of the upper floor window in the 1970s and 1980s, after the upper floor had been closed off and abandoned. Some people believe she is the ghost of a prostitute named Rose, who may have been kept company by the ghost of Sam Worek.

According to one legend, Sam Worek was abandoned near the tavern when he was a child. Sam was more or less adopted by the Hryszko family and worked at the saloon in return for room, board, and a small salary. In the 1950s, the owners were closing off the upper floor, and Sam had to find a new place to live. But before he could move, Sam died in his sleep. When they sealed off the upper floor, the owners left his possessions in his room.

According to others, Sam was an adult when he came to the White Eagle. He was an excellent cook, but had a weakness for the bottle. When he went on a bender, he would disappear for days or weeks at a time. When he returned, he would go back to his kitchen until the next time the bottle called. He was in his sixties or seventies when he died. A picture hangs in the White Eagle that shows the Hryszko family and an adult Sam posing for the camera.

In the 1990s, the McMenamins brewpub chain purchased the White eagle and restored the upper floor, opening it up as a European-style hotel. Their artists named Room 2 "Sam's Room" through Room 3 appears to have been built for a long-term boarder.

There are many, many stories of ghosts and the strange at the White Eagle Saloon. Weird Oregon heard about "flying" mustard jugs and a Room 3 poltergeist.

Not even the ladies' bathroom is entirely sage from this nuisance ghost. According to a post owner, a female patron was using the ladies' room. She had entered with a friend. The first patron was sitting in the stall, when a wad of (clean) toilet paper came over the stall wall and hit her. She soon found herself involved in a furious toilet paper fight. When she finished, she found that her friend had left the bathroom a few minutes earlier. So who was in the other stall?

[choilacanth]

12 Skyrim questions, tagged by @friend-of-giants :] This one got long, so the other 10 are under a read more.  

I tag @olibavee and @elfyris but no pressure hue hue hue

1. What's your OC's favourite tavern?

The Retching Netch, always. She, Teldryn Sero, Glover Mallory, and Dreyla Alor become the late-late night “put the lights out when you’re done” crowd by the end of her stay, and the food and sujamma is homey but excellent. If the ash yam and horker stews aren’t enough, she can always pop outside to buy some skewers to bring back in.

2. What about their favourite beverage? 

Sujamma is best! She pilfered her dad’s stash as a young woman, though she will also happily go for spiced wine or a good ale. Recently, though, she is much more likely to be drinking some hangover/indigestion cure-all of hackle-lo and turmeric from Solstheim. It tastes like turmeric and doesn’t really work.

3. Who do they travel with?

Since Inigo took a full-time job with the Dawnguard, Darra has been traveling with Teldryn Sero and her horse, Frost. Inigo joins them sometimes. She is also likely to join up with people she meets on her travels for a short while. In the past, she has journeyed with Zora Fair-child, Borgakh the Steel Heart, and Meresine, and who knows who else. In the future, she will travel with Serana, Lucien Flavius, possibly Elyas Salvi, Rumarin, and who knows who else. 

4. Are they wealthy? How do they make money?  

The good news is that you made a lot. The bad news is that you spent more. (Cut ‘Em In, Anderson .paak)

Darra has a good sense for business, making money, and keeping money, but refuses to go back to a sensible white-collar job and would rather have her adventures fund themselves. Many folk of Skyrim are willing to have her trek out into the wilds or exorcise the ghosts in their family tomb for some coin, but fortunately, dragon parts are a rare find and a lucrative venture, and many dragons seem to have a bone to pick with her. She also flips armor and weapons she picks up, having Balimund repair them and placing an enchantment before selling it off to another smith. She also has part-time employment sourcing research materials for the College of Winterhold for a small amount of gold, plus free tuition and books. She has a similar arrangement retrieving old scripts for the Bard’s College. Most of the coin goes right back into food, spellbooks, paying her rent, and maintaining her horse. Especially the horse.

5. Do they worship any aedra or daedra?

Darra finds comfort in the rituals surrounding the worship of Azura by common folk, but more out of familiarity and remembering her family than any real devotion to Azura. While he was still alive, her father was business-minded and quick to downplay their more contentious beliefs upon moving to Skyrim, so Mephala and Boethiah weren’t fixtures around the home either. Instead, their family was also quick to adopt the symbol of Zenithar for trade and solidarity with the workers and craftsmen they dealt with. Darra was given Zenithar’s anvil, but mostly uses it as a fancy paperweight. There is also a mysterious cheese wheel in her room that no one is allowed to move… 

6. What is their biggest fear? 

Facing the axe in Helgen strikes the biggest fear in Darra’s heart: dying without having lived her own life or living her own story. She ends up wandering Skyrim to figure it out, living some odd combination of “try everything now” and “but I can’t die trying oh no we’re really in it now help help.” Also, she is scared of Dwemer animunculi, going to jail, being captured by the Thalmor, falling off the stairs in Markarth, lightning magic, and hostile mages. 

7. Any pet peeves? What she thought was an awful humid basement bedroom in her little Riften apartment turned out to be the perfect cheese storage room after some temperature controls. There are a few other pet peeves like excessive cold, as well as working in accounting and logistics. 

8. Do they like being dragonborn? Or do they see it as a burden? Darra enjoys the bonuses (cool shouts, fun history, stream of high-value dragon parts for trading and alchemy) but wants none of the pain, prophecies, and doom. She can’t really imagine a long-term future and resists dealing with it, but she’ll come around and carry her burden eventually.

9. Favourite Skyrim faction?

The Bard's College and the College of Winterhold have the most amount of money to pay her with the least amount of potential jail time and hostility towards elves, so Darra likes working for them. Those, and the Greybeards. Also, at least one of them will help her unravel the mysteries of dragons and dragonborn powers (and pay her).

10. Any object they carry with high sentimental value? Teldryn has accepted he is never wearing his second scarf again. She wears her armor with pride and appreciation, namely, Glover Mallory’s refitted Blackguard armor and two sets of Master Destruction robes. 

11. What about hobbies? 

Darra has picked up and dropped many hobbies over the years. The main one that stuck is magic, but she also reads novels, arranges flowers (not expertly at all), collects liquor and cheese, goes fishing, and dances with revelers. 

12. Favourite Skyrim city?

Riften, always. Messy but warm, kind of like her.

[yr-obedt-cicero]

Where did they all live throughout the years (from Philip Schuyler’s house to the Grange)?

I'm going to heavily apologize for the lack of sources. In this particular ask, all my information I get is straight from biographies I've read. So um, check out Ron Chernow's and some others.

As we all know, Alexander Hamilton moved in with the Schuyler's in Albany, New York, shortly after resigning his position from war in 1782, as he had no home to claim as his own since he would no longer be at college.

For the most part, Elizabeth and Hamilton rented and stayed at several houses for a majority of their life time. As a lot of traveling was required for Hamilton's political career, the family would travel between Philadelphia, New Jersey, and New York throughout their time whenever Hamilton was called to either one. Unfortunately, many of these buildings no longer stand so I will be reducing to what actually still stands or if it is of actual importance. (We would be here all day if I tried to find every house they rented at) Especially from 1790 to 1795, when Philadelphia was the country's capital and Alexander was serving as the Secretary of Treasury. 

They did live in a house in Philadelphia, that unfortunately has not survived, in 79 South Third Street, facing Walnut Street between Third and Second Streets. The house is gone, and we have no details or descriptions of it. It likely was an average 18th century townhouse, having been most likely brick and stone, and a few stories high. Notably, the house would have to be somewhat spacious and large as the Hamilton's would have their four of their own children (Philip, Angelica, Alexander, James, John), including their adopted daughter Fanny Antill, and another son in 1792, William Stephen Hamilton. This house also would have been where the infamous Reynolds affair took place, while Elizabeth would be with the children and her family in Albany for the summer. The location would have been convenient for the Hamilton's, as it was in the city, and was around the corner from the Offices of the Treasury, and also on the same street; the site of the new First Bank of the United States. Additionally, three blocks to the west, at Sixth Street and Chestnut, was Congress Hall, the home of the United States Congress until 1800. And other useful luxuries like; shops, stables, taverns, markets, etc.

Hamilton returned to the city in 1783. He made himself an attorney, establishing a law office located at 12 Garden Street downtown. Garden Street is no longer the same, but it's now Exchange Place in the center of the Financial District. During this time, the Hamilton's lived in a house in Broadway Manhattan. In many similarities to the previous house in Philadelphia, it is no longer standing either, but probably would have been the same in complexion. The family would make joyous memories there, one of the son's, James Alexander Hamilton, recalling their stay there very fondly in his memoirs. And it would be the place the Hamilton's would begin work on their next, most famously known, house, the Grange.

In 1801, Hamilton commissioned architect John McComb Jr. to design the Federal-style country home on a 32-acre estate in upper Manhattan. The building was completed in 1802 and named "The Grange" after his father's ancestral home in Scotland. Hamilton's new home stood two stories high over a raised basement. It's timber exterior measures roughly 50-by-50 feet and it's flanked on both sides by broad Tuscan-style porches. It was a passion project, as you'd call it, between the married couple. As Elizabeth and Hamilton had dreamed of settling down in the country side (At least what was considered the country side at the time) and owning their own house and living the rest of their days there. The house was built from wood supplied by Eliza's father, General Philip Schuyler, from the Schuyler family's lands and sawmill in upstate New York. The Hamilton family moved into the completed house in 1802. To the family, the Grange would be a symbol of their new life. Far away from the memories that haunted downtown Manhattan, such as; the Reynolds pamphlet and affair, political enemies, and the death of their eldest son, Philip Hamilton. The gardens and terrace was Hamilton's favorite, as he enjoyed gardening and planting peacefully. Unfortunately, Hamilton did not live longer but two years in his passionate dream house. Elizabeth held tours in the house and remained living there until 1833, Eliza was 76-years old and with the residue from the trust running low, she could no longer keep the family home.

That same year, she sold the Grange for $25,000 to Thomas E. Davis, who had also advised her son, Alexander Hamilton Jr., one of his downtown properties at 4 St. Mark's Place for $15,500. He, his wife, Eliza P. Knox Hamilton, his sister, Eliza Hamilton Holly, with her husband, Sidney Augustus Holly, and Elizabeth lived there. (As it was also known as the Hamilton-Holly House) located at 4 St. Mark's Place in the East Village section of Manhattan, similar to the Grange, it was a Federal style townhouse constructed in 1831.

Until 1848, when Elizabeth made her final move to Washington D.C. Her daughter, Eliza Hamilton Holly, rented the three-story brick home on the north side of H Street NW between 13th and 14th streets. The house and one next to it were sometimes called the Chain Buildings. “Good tenants they were,” Britannia wrote, “paying the rent always on the day it was due.” Elizabeth became a familiar figure in D.C.. She would often walk to the Capitol Hill to visit friends. She would also donate to D.C.’s orphanage, which was just down the street from her house. Elizabeth was tight with Dolley Madison, who lived on nearby Lafayette Square. Both attended the laying of the Washington Monument cornerstone on July 4, 1848. It would be the last home to Elizabeth, as it was also where she died at age 97.

Sorry for the wait, this took some time to get all down! ^^

[missmcspooks]

CASES TOO DISTURBING TO READ TWICE: THE MONSTER OF WORCESTER

In 1973, the United Kingdom would experience one of the most brutal murders in their history. The crime was so brutal that the man responsible for it wasn’t even known by his actual name. He was known as “The Monster of Worcester.” This man committed a triple homicide of three innocent children and is walking free today. 

WHO WAS DAVID MCGREAVY?

David McGreavy was born in 1951 and raised in Southport Lancashire. His parents, Thomas and Bella McGreavy, had five additional children. The McGreavy family moved around quite often due to Thomas being in the military, and David wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps. David left school in 1967 and joined the Royal Navy and hoped to make this his official career. However, he was court martialed in 1971 due to causing a fire which burned down a mess wardroom. With nowhere else to go he moved back in with his parents and was fired from multiple jobs since moving back home. He also had a fiance who left him during this time, and everything negative piling up in his life caused David to become depressed and began drinking heavily. In 1972 his parents started to grow tired of his drinking and lack of motivation to look for work and were kicked out of their home. 

DAVID JOINED THE RALPH’S FAMILY HOUSEHOLD

Needing a new place to live he asked his friend Clive Ralph if he could board in his home with his wife Elsie and their two children, Paul, 4, and Dawn, 2. The Ralph family welcomed him with open arms, and began paying them six euros a week after he started working at a factory. At the time he moved in Elsie was also pregnant with their third child, who would be named Samantha. Clive and Elsie met when they were young, and had a five year age gap between them. The two married in 1968 when Elsie was 16 and pregnant with Paul, and the family lived on Gillam Street in Rainbow Hill district of Worcester. Samantha was born in September 1972.

On top of paying weekly rent, David would also cook Sunday dinners on occasion, and even became a babysitter when Elsie decided to go back to work when Samantha turned 7 months old. Clived worked as a lorry driver with his father, and Elsie found a job as a barmaid at the Punch Bowl Tavern. David was known by family, friends, and even neighbors to love children, and especially loved the Ralph children. They got along super well, he played with them often and he was basically like a second father figure to them. Which is why everyone was so utterly baffled when the tragedy occured. 

On Friday, April 13th, 1973, Clive left the children home alone as they slept to go pick up David at the Buck’s Hill Pub so he could bring him home to babysit the children while he went to pick up Elsie who was working late. David was at the pub for a while with a friend as they played cards and darts, and drank around 5 to 7 imperial pints (2.8 to 4.0) of beer. David was known to become very angry and violent whenever he drank too much, and even got into some kind of altercation at the pub before leaving. Clive brought him back home and went to grab a drink with Elsie before coming back home. Clive didn’t know what kind of horror he was about to return to.

DAVID’S DRUNKEN RAGE

Sometime between 10:15 PM and 11:15 PM David became extremely frustrated with the children. It all started when baby Samantha, who was 9 months old at the time, started crying constantly for her bottle. David snapped and began to kill the children violently, all in different ways. He started with Samantha who died of a skull fracture. He then went to Dawn and slit her throat, and strangled Paul. After they were all dead, he made his way downstairs to the basement where he retrieved a pickaxe so he could further mutilate their bodies. To conclude this horrific scene, he brought all three children outside and impaled their bodies onto the spikes of a wrought iron fence in the neighbors yard, and then left the home. By the time the Ralph’s got back home the police were already there. They couldn’t allow them to go into the home or the yard due to how horrific the scene was, and escorted them down to the station where they were told about the deaths of their children. David was arrested around 3:50 AM as he was walking along one of the streets near their home, and he originally asked why they were arresting him. Once he was at the station he denied ever having any responsibility towards the murders, but after a few hours he came clean. 

“It was me, but it wasn’t me,” he told investigators, and began to describe what happened in detail. 

“I put my hand over her (Samantha’s) mouth, and it all went from there. It’s all in the house. On Paul, I used a wire. I was going to bury him, but I couldn’t. I went outside and put them on the fence. All I could hear is kids, kids.” 

The only reasoning he could give about why he committed the murders, is just that the baby wouldn’t stop crying. 

SENTENCING, LIFE IN PRISON, PAROLE

On June 28th, 1973, David McGreavy appeared in court and pleaded guilty to his crimes. He received multiple life sentences with the minimum of 20 years. Due to being subjected to frequent abuse by other inmates, David was held in a vulnerable prisoners unit for the majority of his 45 years in prison. While he was in prison it was reported that he had successfully adjusted to life in prison, accepted rehabilitation, and even took up painting as his main hobby. 

When the crime first happened there was major press about the case. However, instead of being called David McGreavy, he was only known as “The Monster of Worcester.” Due to the lack of news since there was no trial, this case quickly dwindled from the press overtime and no one really talked about it much after that. That all changed in 2009, when a reporter took a photo of David as he was being transferred to an open prison. This caused him to be transferred back into the closed prison, and an anonymity order was issued by the high court of justice during his parole board hearing. The British Press Association argued that this order would prevent coverage of dangerous criminals possibly being released back into society, and David would be in lack of danger if and when he’s released. The order was lifted on May 21st, 2013. After the order was lifted the case started receiving a lot of publicity once again, after not hearing about it for over 40 years. 

David McGreavy was paroled in December of 2018 due to “changing considerably.” He is now in his early 70s and is thought to have an electronic tag and living in supervised accommodation, and is banned from Worcester completely, along with the area where Elsie and her family live. 

ELSIE RALPH

Elsie Ralph has since ended her marriage with Clive, moved away from the area, remarried and now goes by Elsie Urry or “Dorothy Urry.” She has, and never will, move on from this nightmare, as she states in an interview in June 2013.

“If he was released, I would be waiting outside with a gun. Life should mean life and he should never get to walk free. He got off lightly with a life sentence - he should have been hanged.”

“I think about what he did every minute of every day because he took my life away. He took my kids, my husband, and my home. I can’t go to family parties anymore, I can’t celebrate anything.” 

“I can’t and will never move on. For what he did to my three children and me, he deserves the same treatment that they got - death.” 

[cadcnce-archived]

          BIG ASS CHARACTER SHEET FOR                    FANTASY VERSE WYLAN

I found an image while going through my files for cursed pics to send @spiritmaiden​, they had the audacity to take it and fill it out for the fantasy verse of their sky-zel, so I of course have to match the effort for Wylan because I’m not about to be shown up. It’s hella involved, nobody’s getting tagged but damn if you want an exercise in hitting your character then give it a shot. Most is under the cut because of length.

Character’s Name: Zachary Reis (Born) Wylan Rechtur (Used) Character’s nicknames: Ze (by his sister) Wy (by his friends and preferred) Zephyr (mercenary name, also what you’d see on any wanted posters) Gender: Male Righty or Lefty: Righty Age: 25-26  Height: 6′-0″  Weight: ~180 lbs Eye Color: Emerald green, bright and wide filled with a mix of confidence and playfulness. Hair color: Dark brown, messy and falling to his ears. Unkempt may be a good descriptor, but he generally keeps it down flatter at the least.  Distinguishing marks: His body is pocked with marks and scars from fights and other disagreements, but the ones most easily discerned are knife scars on his hands, and a short arc above his left brow. Describe physical traits in one passage: A good way to view him is concealed strength and agility. He’s toned and in good shape but doesn’t often dress or carry himself in ways that would flaunt this. His posture and pose are loose, and his expressions can be lazy and playful. So the moment he flips that switch and uses the full brunt of his power? It’s a surprise. He’s also a bit on the lanky side, his body size doesn’t fully compliment the size of his limbs. 

FAMILY/ RELIGION

Parents: Mother and father were disappeared/dead when he was just a bit over 6 years old and his sister was an infant. They were involved with the church but not royalty themselves. Wylan never spent much time figuring out what. They had a life left for him and his sister that he threw away as well. His father was a gentle soul while his mother was razor sharp and firm. Siblings: Younger sister, Katelynn Reis, but goes by Lyn with her friends. Wylan calls her Kat. She’s ~5 years younger than he, and remains with the church training and working as a healer. Whereas Wylan ran away from being a Paladin, she stayed strong to become a Cleric.  Significant Other: Verse dependent, Wylan typically is averse to romance and prefers casual encounters.  Children: None, nor is he open to them initially in his canon.  Other relatives: None remain living that he is aware of. He and his sister were raised by his grandmother on his father’s side, but she passed away shortly after he left the knight’s academy, when Wylan was roughly 16-17.  Pets: None. But he does enjoy talking to cats. Friends: Wylan is the type who ‘knows a guy’, he’s close with many tavernkeeps and makes nice with the adventurer’s guilds and their members as well. His work as an informant necessitates things like this. Wylan is also the type to consider most anyone he encounters and converses with a friend, whether they like it or not. His best friend though would easily be a wandering adherent by the name of Emke. I don’t care what the thread is about in some way she’s involved in his life. They’re platonic soulmates. Enemies: As a mercenary and hunter, some others in his craft would consider Wylan to be their rival, and in many cases he would view them just the same. It’s hard to say he has any enemies outside of pointedly evil factions however! Relationships (other): His relationship with his sister is an odd one. They’re still in touch via letters and the occasional visit, and he does what he can to support her with his money, but they’re not close like conventional siblings. There’s a strange codependence between them. Wylan depends on Lyn as a ‘rock’, and she depends on him as the ‘sea’. Ethnicity: Human! His origins are mostly a mix of Germanic/Portuguese if you wanted a comparison to Earth races/ethnicities. Religion: He recognizes the existence of higher powers but his relationship with them isn’t the best. As if being rebellious to his parents wasn’t bad enough he has to be tsundere towards The Light. This is noted when he uses holy magic such as wards and smiting spells and getting rebound into his own body upon use. Superstitions: He’s incredibly wary around the undead and spirits. So catch him spreading salt when he has to camp somewhere less than lively. Also give him a moment to sharpen his silver weaponry...  Diction, Accent, ETC.: His dialect is pretty clean, though this depends on who he’s speaking to, being the travelling sort he is he’s capable of lightly ‘faking’ various accents, or just being lazy with his own manner of speech. Traces back to proper speaking that was drilled into him as a child and then his own rebelliousness. SCHOOL/ WORK / HOME Education (Highest): He was well learned with the academy work that he actually accomplished. While he never finished and never put his all into his studies, it was clear to his teachers that he had a gift for learning but a problem with conviction.  Degrees: None! But just so I still have something here, one of his informal titles is ‘The Gale’s Fang’. Vocation/Occupation: Jack of several trades, wrapped up best as a mercenary informant, and a monster hunter. He’s good at tracking both people and monsters and taking them down- lethally or not so much. Employment History: Wylan was fully involved with the knight’s academy from the age of 6 to 16, so for those 10 years he had his hands full dealing with that and trying to figure out himself (poorly). Upon leaving the academy after the accident, he took up arms and was given tutelage by the thieves’ guild which taught him how to use his senses and move quietly through the shadows. Wylan didn’t make a good pickpocket, but he was good at reading other people and exceptional at duels. It wasn’t long before he took the advice of the guildmaster and made better uses of his talents. Not necessarily for good, but for more profit. By the age of 22 he was an accomplished and well connected informant, bartering information as well as putting his swordwork to use headhunting and slaying monsters that made issue outside the cities in which he frequented. This continues to current/canon start of interactions. Salary: He’s affluent enough not to worry too much about his state of living, but he can be prone to splurge spending that puts him in a bind for a few weeks at a time, at least until the next job puts money back on the table. Status and money: Continuing off the above, he’s decent enough with his funds (after sending money back to help out his sister) but wouldn’t be well off enough to be considered rich compared to his modern verse. Fortunately he has enough renown that jobs aren’t too hard to come by for him. And many barkeeps and friends are willing to open a tab for him. So he’s not too desperate.  Own or Rent: Wylan typically rents inn rooms when he stays in the cities, and camps when he’s out in the woods. Technically he also owns if you count helping his sister keep her own place running (thought it’s really about 30-70, with his sister funding most of it)  Living Space: Wylan never stays long at the room. It’s a place to go back to and sleep. Personal belongings? Very few. Most things he owns that he wouldn’t want to lose stay back with his sister kept in a basement or separate room that he uses on the rare times he’s back in the capital/holy city from which he originally hailed. As you can imagine, this isn’t very often.  Work Space: N/A! He doesn’t have one! Given his work is almost entirely in the field. Main Mode of Transportation: CATCH A RIIIIIDE. Though he’s apt to have a horse around for transport if he isn’t going too far. Long voyages for when he changes locales would probably be hitching a ride with a caravan. He also doesn’t mind voyages on foot too much. PSYCHOLOGY Fears: Externally he has an aversion to ghosts and spirits. The concept of the dead coming back to haunt you isn’t something he much cares for. Having access to light magic should mostly assuage this, and yet it can give him goosebumps anyhow. Ironically he has a fear of large mammals in his modern verse but that shit doesn’t apply here given he’s a monster hunter! Internally he fears being forgotten, not making a name for himself, and dying before he can truly feel alive.  Secrets: His birth name, Zachary Reis, isn’t something he will bring up with anyone. It’s not necessarily a ‘dead name’ for him, but it’s one he threw away the same time he decided he was going to toss away his ‘fate’ as a paladin. Taking the name of Wylan was another way he took his life for himself in his mind. Despite this being a path of self destruction. His sister is also something he doesn’t often bring up unless he very much trusts that person.  IQ: Surprisingly high. He picks up a lot of information doing the work he does, but you wouldn’t be blamed for not believing this. Eating Habits: They could be a lot better. He eats enough to get by, but his diet isn’t as varied as it could be. Wylan hunts small game when he can, but he isn’t an exciting cook so ALAS. This boy prefers hitting up taverns and getting basic meals like stews, jerky, sandwiches, etc etc. Sleeping Habits: Wylan is a very light sleeper. Typically if you so much as step into the room he’s sleeping in he’ll snap into awareness. It takes a loooong day of exertion to keep him sleeping deep otherwise. Frustrating is how he ‘fakes’ being asleep. So someone could come in and start rummaging and he would still breathe and move as if he were still sleeping. Up until he sits up and stares or cracks a joke. Dare you to kiss him when you think he’s asleep.   Book Preferences: History tomes every now and then. Wylan doesn’t read much fiction and prefers any time he spends reading to be somewhat productive! Make up for other education he missed as part a result of running on the academy. He also reads up on magic and sorcery to work on the wind affinity he also has.  Music Preferences: Wylan doesn’t play any instruments but he DOES love love love to dance and sing. He’s an entertainer at heart and loves to rally people however he may. Suffice to say he’s amusing to go drinking with. And not just because he starts bar fights to amuse himself. Groups or Alone: He’s primarily a lone fighter. Some hunts he will of course work with a team of other hunters, he’s not stupid enough to take on the larger beasts by himself, but there’s a preference for doing things on his own terms. He’s self aware enough to know that his ways and methods can be grating, but ah... how all of that clashes with his desire to show off and have an audience. Being Wylan is suffering. Leader or Follower: He’s both, but prefers to be a follower if he can help it. Let other people make the plans then nudge them this way and that to better fit your own methods. He’s a prankster and a good compliment to most parties after all, so you’d be wise to utilize him! Lest he utilize himself... but that said, he’s an anti-hero, so there’s possibility in there for him to be a leader as well and take charge. It just isn’t his default nature and he’d rather not. Planned Out or Spontaneous: Wylan is chaos incarnate. Most everything he does outside of necessity/work is spontaneous. All his mischief and plans are cobbled together and thrown out there. Sometimes he’ll do a bunch of things at once, like throwing a bundle of darts at the wall to see which ones stick. And oh my fucking god don’t get me started on being romantic he can’t plan for shit in that department. Journal Entries (Do they keep one?) Nope. Not a daily journal at least. He’ll keep notebooks and the like for jotting down intel and what have you for jobs he takes up. But most of the time he’ll just have little notes in his pocket, and not really chronicle his life. He may also make ‘fake’ entries to tease people or trick them. See what he did to Zelda the one time. Be careful what you believe... Hobbies, Recreation: Tricks!! Sleight of hand!! Cards and dice!! Part of growing up and learning with a thieves’ guild is getting involved in lots of things that make use of your hands and dexterity. He likes playing random games with folks and oh! People watching. Stalking. Not the cutest thing but Wylan makes a hobby out of ‘testing himself’ and exercising his talents. His hobby is unfortunately annoying people, to summarize. How Do They Relax: His hobbies help him to relax! Also, if you can believe it, sitting back in a group conversation and watching the conversation happen and move forward. Learning about other people is something he likes doing, which is hypocritical since he can make himself so difficult to learn by contrast. BUT THE REAL THING HE DOES.. is practice sword fighting. Slow rhythmic swings of his blade, almost like a dance. He focuses his thoughts and calms his soul when he practices. It’s like a mix of swordfighting, dancing, and yoga. Controlling himself. Feeling himself. It’s multiple things.    What Excites Them?: PEOPLE. Things! Happenings! The unknown and pushing himself to new limits. Honestly one of Wy’s biggest drives is doing something or becoming something that will make him ‘Feel Alive’. Because for all of his antics and frivolity he’s very much fighting an encroaching darkness in his soul. So he’ll search out bizarre things to get involved in. It’s one of the reasons he’s bugging Zelda, because her involvement in witchcraft and his own suspicions have him interested huehue. Pet Peeves: Being ignored. Like perfectly disregarding his existence and whatever he’s getting up to. If you’re not reacting to him being him then that means he’s not being effective and he’s losing. It’s his only real weakness...  Prejudices: None. He’s not the most respectful person so most everyone, royalty or important or otherwise gets subjected to similar treatment. If anything, the more important you are the more likely you are to get annoyed! Attitudes: He’s usually with a front, a mask if you will. His general attitude is curious and nosy, but that’s fronted with a playfulness and proclivity for being annoying. Don’t be fooled, he’s usually something more pensive and calculating underneath that exterior. Wylan actually quiets a fair bit once that mask is taken away, his mood swings down and his tone is a touch deeper. Stressors: Things going awry and his friends being put in danger. He absolutely does not do well with people he cares about being hurt. One of the worst things that can happen to him is his sister dying for example, and has lead to one of his most self destructive plots I’ve written, in this verse especially. Lovers? Don’t hurt them. Don’t endanger them. The idea of rivals or enemies going after people he cares about.. hoo. MAN. None of that please. He can be SO damn possessive. In relationships he’s very self conscious as well of fulfilling their needs. So if his partner remarks, regardless of how offhandedly, they’d like more of something he will TRY TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.  Obsessions: Being an absolute pain in the ass. And in cases where someone has wronged him or someone close to him? Tracking them down and getting closure/revenge. That shit takes him to the brink of killing himself. Addictions: None to the point of being problematic, but he does love eating pickles.  Ambitions: To make a name for himself, to be renowned and respected. To feel alive and accomplished as a person. He’d also like to take down a dragon someday. Get some armor from its scales and a sword out of that shit. As Seen by Others: Capable and dangerous, but impossible to work with for long periods. Keep a tight lip around him lest he use that information against you and learn things you’d rather keep secret. A lecherous womanizer. As Seen by Self: A body of broken glass, encased in a shell, covered in masks. Who are you? What are you? Where are you even going? You’re lost. You’re aimless. You’re swimming and swimming and eventually you’re going to be tired, aren’t you? ASTROLOGY/PHISIOLOGY Birth Date: October 10. Time of Birth: Evening. Western Astrological Sign: Libra Traits Associated with Western Sign: Social, Clever, Unreliable, Diplomatic Traits Associated with Chinese Zodiac: N/A, seeing as I don’t age Wylan with the years this doesn’t really apply. Handwriting: Clean when he needs it to be, but otherwise a quick script with lots of pen strikes. He’s capable with drawing diagrams and the like as well! This boy can throw out monster diagrams with weak points and other ecological notes oh yes yes. Sexual History: Wylan was already exploring that sort of thing before he left the academy, so yes... as early as 16 he’d already lost the v-card. He doesn’t really do relationships and enjoys casual encounters. Many a maiden at the bar or elsewhere has taken him for a spin. Typically partners aren’t reoccurring in fantasy verse, however. He’s... well, very good in the performance category.   General Health: A+ healthy aside from the sleep and subpar diet bits. Strong and good stamina. Medical History: He’s nearly died one times too many. Been stabbed, cut, poisoned, bitten, but hey he’s still alive! And that’s what he’d argue matters with this business. Allergies: SHELLFISH. Chronic Illnesses: None to speak of. Handicaps: He’s somewhat of a type B tsundere. It’s awful.  OBJECTS Purse / Bag: He’s got a coin purse that he’ll carry spare gold around in for spending on what have you. Supposedly food but he’s weak to splurge purchases. Most everything else he keeps on him in his pockets and his belt. Wallet: Uhhh see above, coin purse!!! He’s got enough for the week or so!! Don’t try and pickpocket him because he will catch you and you will feel stupid. Fridge: He doesn’t keep food around. He more or less has to scavenge for everything he eats either through buying or hunting. That’s kind of the life for the vagrant he is, isn’t it? Medicine Cabinet: N/A, but he does keep bandages and salves at his room.  Glove Compartment: N/A!! Junk Drawer: NNNNNN/AAAAAAA Kitchen Cabinets: Wylan get a house so I can fill this out challenge. Bedroom Hiding Place: Behind a wall panel or somesuch if he can manage. Otherwise in the floor or outside the window. Closets: His wardrobe typically includes tunics, coats, leather armor and harnesses for his weaponry! He’s got a couple swords in fantasy verse, and he’s got throwing knives and a grappling hook!!  Backback: Yeah uh see above, what a question. Locker: None Desk: WYLAN KEEP ITEMS AROUND CHALLEEEEENGE.  Clothes pocket: Daggers, notes, maybe a writing implement and paper so he can jot things down. He’s also got little knick knacks like a gem or a monster tooth to show off. Isn’t it cool??? Also lint.

OTHER Halloween Costumes: Werewolf!!! Get him in either just a lazy one with gloves and ears or deck him out in the whole garb. Love that idea on him. In one verse Big Bad Wolf is his nickname, and in another he flat out IS a werewolf! So yeAH. Tricks: He’s very skilled at sleight of hand!! Card flourishes and dice rolls. Cup games. Illusions and dexterity... he’s a slippery one! He’s also likely to catch you in words, using things you say against you. He gets really meta and oh how annoying that can get... Talents: SWORDPLAY- He learned from a very early age at an esteemed academy where only the best knights get trained. He mixes that style with a more ‘street’ type that he picked up with the thieves’ guild and even further as a monster hunter and mercenary. Suffice to say that all mixes together into multiple stances he can switch between depending on what he’s up against. Strong sweeping strikes, vicious stabbing and leaping, poised dueling and parrying... he’s a TOUGH fight. MAGIC: Wylan is at odds with his use of holy magic that utilizes the light to bless and heal. Until he comes to terms with himself and the power he wants to channel it’ll have ‘blowbacks’ on himself. Fingers will burn, head will ache, and his stomach will flip. But it’s still undeniably effective for where it is! Aside from that he knows some wind magic to supplement himself. He’s not known as ‘Zephyr’ for nothing after all! Gusting steps, slashing winds, REALLY BIG JUMPS!!! If you throw him he’s a fantastic projectile! And lets see- DANCING! He learned it first as part of his etiquette as a knight, but it’s something that’s evolved with him and oh does he enjoy festivals for that reason. Ballroom styles are what he’s most familiar with. Dance with him. Please dance with him. Politics: Indifferent! Doesn’t care for authority figures to begin with so in any case or kingdom with a monarchy he’s very buh about it. He’s very self-accomplished and his beliefs would push him towards meritocracy over anythign else if you ask me!  Flaws: Suspicious, possessive, and very persistent. This could be a strength too but for the most part can be seen as a detriment because of how it ends up being applied. Which is in self-destructive tendencies WOO. He’s also very lustful, and can be distracted by a fine woman and let himself be swayed by his desires over time. Have I mentioned he isn’t the most reliable? He’s apt to lie to people and give intentionally wrong impressions just to make it easier for him to slip away. You gotta go up a few levels to unlock that... So yeah, sins are WRATH, LUST, and ENVY. Strengths: NONE. Okay if you earn a solid place as his friend there is almost NO limit to what he’ll do to protect you. Wylan has a ridiculous amount of determination and mental fortitude and he can and will strike down a GOD to keep those things that are precious to him. He’s also an amusing character to have around, if you are feeling bummed he is almost guaranteed to find a way to cheer you up and support you if only so he can not feel as guilty teasing as he usually does HUE. He’s got a very up beat personality! Sure, a lot of it is a mask but he WANTS it to be real and that’s what really matters if you ask me. His reckless optimism can be endearing. There’s a lot of other surprising mental qualities such as how clever and quick witted he can be. Part of that mental fortitude lets him think and fight on his feet regardless of how much pressure he’s under. It takes a LOT to dampen his thought processes. Drugs/Alcohol: He drinks frequently, but he wouldn’t be counted as a drunkard. Wylan rarely drinks to excess, and prefers to do so among friends and good company. Passwords: Uh, do ritual prayers count? Magical spells? Heh. Email Address, Home Page, Blogs, etc.: Oh if only this were for modern verse... Time and place: Medieval fantasy! Magic and creatures! I also love throwing Monster Hunter vibes in for the big monsters he goes up against. Special Places: For him? Cliffs overlooking the ocean. Abandoned temples he can just chill at. For all he enjoys being around people now and then he really appreciates quiet isolation. Special Memories: Lots of memories with his sister before they more or less split ways. There’s one in particular where he was trying to teach her swordplay when she was just a little girl, and she about stubbed his toe when the wooden practice sword fell right on it. Her panicked attempts to try and heal him were something that really stuck with him.

[justgotham]

Madonna’s 1998 album, “Ray of Light,” bore many gifts, not least of which was the friendship between Billy Eichner and Robin Lord Taylor.

Mr. Eichner, Emmy-nominated at last for “Billy on the Street” and currently starring in Hulu’s “Difficult People,” and Mr. Taylor, a breakout star as the Penguin on Fox’s “Gotham,” which returns Sept. 28, first met in their sophomore year at Northwestern University, at a release party (of college-aged sorts) for the album given by Mr. Eichner. As roommates in New York in the early 2000s, they started their own live comedy talk show, “Creation Nation,” in the basements of bookstores and bars.

The first “Billy on the Street” videos, with Mr. Eichner surprising passers-by with questions and games and Mr. Taylor often holding the camera, were a popular recurring segment. “Creation Nation” put them on the very map they’d been studying since childhood, and today, they each wreak havoc, via their respective shows, on the citizens of this fair city.

Over lunch at Tavern on the Green, in their signature rhythm and ratio, Mr. Taylor, 39, and Mr. Eichner, 38 — who will also soon appear in FX’s “American Horror Story: Cult” — recalled cherished VHS tapes, the glory days of gay night life, and apartments with curtains for doors.

This conversation has been edited and condensed.

ROBIN LORD TAYLOR I was at the student union, and my booth was next to Billy’s. Billy was telling jokes about, I swear, like, Elaine Stritch and Jennifer Holliday. I think it was something about the Tonys that year, maybe?

BILLY EICHNER I don’t remember that at all.

TAYLOR My back was to Billy’s back, and I remember hearing him and being like, “That’s exactly the kind of conversation I came to Northwestern for. I’m gonna make you my best friend.”

EICHNER He came to this “Ray of Light” party and he was this little boy from Iowa, and he wore these fake cat ears that I guess you could buy at Bloomingdale’s at the time? And I was like, “No. Who’s that person? I’m not into it.”

TAYLOR I knew you were going to bring up the cat ears.

EICHNER To this day, I don’t understand why you would walk in with cat ears.

TAYLOR I was from a very small town, I had just come out of the closet, and it was very proto-radical faerie, without the hallucinogens.

EICHNER It was like our generation’s version of cutting. Months later, we decided to move to a bigger apartment and we needed a fifth roommate. They were like, “That guy Robin said he would take it,” and I was against it. But we were desperate. To make matters worse, we had to move in the summer before junior year, and Robin and I had to live — just the two of us.

TAYLOR I had a car.

EICHNER And I was like, “Well, that’s something.” So we would go to the mall, and we would go shopping, and we’d go to the movies.

TAYLOR It was “Living Out Loud” that did it, I think.

EICHNER There was a series of movies we went to see that normal college-aged men were not going to see in the Midwest: “Living Out Loud,” with Holly Hunter and Danny DeVito; “Isn’t She Great,” with Bette Midler and Nathan Lane. We were the only people in the theater, opening weekend of “Isn’t She Great” at the Old Orchard Shopping Mall. We would watch movies at home; we’d watch “Truth or Dare,” and I had a VHS of this thing called “The Oscars’ Greatest Moments.”

TAYLOR We memorized that tape.

EICHNER He was this quiet closeted gay boy in Iowa, and I was this louder closeted gay guy in New York City, but we were both locked in our rooms watching cable TV and sucking it all in. When we found each other, it was like, “Wait, you’re interested in —— ?”

TAYLOR Like, a “Whales of August” joke.

EICHNER We were theater majors in a suburb of Chicago and we were being gay and going to gay bars for the first time, together. Then we caught the last gasp of great New York gay night life. We could go out every night of the week.

TAYLOR And we did.

EICHNER Tuesday nights we’d go to Beige at B Bar. We both met boyfriends at Beige. We’d go to Spa on Thursdays, Starlight and The Cock on Friday, and then ——

TAYLOR Opaline is in there somewhere.

EICHNER Opaline on Saturday, or the Roxy. We were doing ecstasy, and it was the days of big club DJs ——

TAYLOR Twilo.

EICHNER Twilo, Junior Vasquez. We partied, and I’m so glad we did, because it doesn’t really exist at the moment, and we couldn’t do it now. Except, I still do it. I shouldn’t do it. It’s a bad look.

TAYLOR We lived in this crazy loft two blocks south of the World Trade Center. No doors, no walls — just curtains.

EICHNER Ten days before 9/11, we moved.

TAYLOR We lived for about five years, then, in Chelsea. I was doing commercials and little things here and there. I mostly played stoner skater types.

EICHNER I’d gone to a ton of open calls and never got anything. I was temping and bartending. No one was taking me seriously.

TAYLOR Billy was sitting on the couch one evening and asked if I would like to make something together. He even had the title, “Creation Nation.” I was sold immediately. We took where we were in our lives, and created these heightened versions of ourselves.

EICHNER I created this angry, irrationally passionate persona that “Billy on the Street” grew out of, which is not close to me. It’s coming from somewhere, I guess, but it’s very much a character.

TAYLOR I was playing a closeted actor, refusing to come out.

EICHNER Robin’s in the very first video. You can watch it on YouTube. At the end he’s running around with me.

TAYLOR I remember when the woman chased us onto the subway. Billy had yelled “Lucy Liu” in her face and she was screaming for the police.

EICHNER I told Robin to stick the tape in your underwear or something?

TAYLOR It’s funny: our current projects are the closest we’ve ever been to working on very similar things.

EICHNER I think he’s so brilliant on that show, but I’m not a superhero person. Robin would call me and tell me what’s happening on “Gotham” and I’d be like, “Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You walk with that cane and put on that prosthetic makeup, and I’m gonna go write some jokes.” Now, I’m on “American Horror Story,” and I honestly do — he would call me and tell me about these violent scenes he had to do, how you have to choreograph it, how much time it takes — I have a new appreciation for it. Our careers also never were a source of tension between us, ever. There was no friction. Maybe friction because I didn’t clean the apartment.

TAYLOR Well, just that time you vacuumed vomit into the non-wet dry vac.

EICHNER I was the roommate who paid half the rent that he paid and still wouldn’t clean. I always had a great sense of entitlement.

TAYLOR Billy has always been completely unafraid to speak his mind and tell people what he believes. And that’s something I struggle with.

EICHNER I do feel like I’ve made Robin meaner, in a good way. When I met Robin, he was wearing those stupid cat ears, and he wanted everyone to like him. If I taught Robin anything, it’s that not everyone needs to like you. Granted, everyone does love Robin. He’s, like, the nicest person in the entire world. Not everyone loves me, but I think between the two of us, it’s a yin and yang.

TAYLOR All I want to give Billy would just be a connection to love and family. I just want to be a constant in his life and a connection to someone who loves him unconditionally.

EICHNER That’s nice. I said I made people hate him! But that’s why this works.

[carthanas]

Biography

i.

Aoife Sayre and Max Burbage had not expected the “gift” of their pregnancy with their soon-to-be daughter; Aoife was only seventeen at the time and still a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her parents demanded an immediate marriage between the two pureblood young adults upon Aoife’s graduation and instead she fled to the United States to stay with some of her distant relatives. The day of her graduation came and as the sun began to set upon that chapter of her life, the young, newly pregnant witch packed a few of her things and boarded a boat to the United States. She said goodbye to no one and only wrote a letter to her cousin Sonya as any indication of her plans. Unprepared to give up her freedom for expectation and duty, particularly because her family was not wealthy and a life of childrearing would likely amount to poverty for the sake of reputation, she spent the next year in the U.S. working with her cousins at the Ilvermorny School.

Aoife and Max were not in a committed relationship when she discovered she was pregnant. Max’s family was far more well-off, and though his parents were informed of the development Aoife never wanted to trap him into a marriage. There was never a shortage of cruel and sexist rumors in Hogwarts, whispers of young wixen securing their places in wealthy families with “unplanned” pregnancies, and at first that was exactly what his parents believed to have taken place. Max himself was upset as well, believing his life to be cut short for the sake of duty, but when Aoife fled he finally understood that to be exactly the opposite of what she wanted. After several months of searching, and with the help of her parents, he set out of the U.S. to go after her. When Max arrived he found Aoife stable and happy in a small apartment with a 5-month-old baby. Charity. Named for the gift of rebellion and independence that the new babe was to both of her parents.

ii.

The three stayed in the United States for another year making connections with MACUSA as Max worked his way into their offices. With Max’s encouragement Aoife reconnected with her parents and they likely would’ve stayed put had Aoife’s mother not fallen ill. They returned to the United Kingdom upon her diagnosis so Aoife could help care for her mother and daughter alongside a live-in mediwitch with their family. Max began working for the Ministry of magic, and a few days after Charity’s second birthday the pair celebrated their wedding.

The Burgbages lived in this multigenerational household through the decline and eventual passing of Aoife’s mother. Charity was the sole grandchild of two only-children, and despite the dramatic and somewhat shameful circumstances of her birth she was doted upon by each of her grandparents. For the Burbages, the ends justified the means; the events that led to her birth didn’t matter as much as the fact that two pureblood families had aligned in marriage and procreation. They were strict, strong, and secretive as a family, but under the influence of Charity’s bright and curious eyes they softened into loving grandparents. The Sayres were proud and stoic, but after thinking they had lost their only child due to their haughty expectations they, too, humbled somewhat in their ideas of arrogant supremacy.

iii.

Charity was allowed the run of the house as she was raised. The Burbages moved into a larger estate when she was 5 to accommodate their needs for her ailing grandmother and the frequency of her American cousins’ visits. Aoife began running a daycare from their house and Charity would attend her primary schooling during the mornings and return home to a yard and home filled with wixen children. She met most of her best friends this way, and during the summers her mother would employ two or three  Hogwarts students to help with childcare and preschool. Max and Aoife Burbage were quietly very liberal in their beliefs and instilled in their daughter a sense of justice and duty to protect the weak and promote equality. Her grandparents reminded them that secrecy in these extreme believes was paramount as the political climate fell more and more in their conservative favor. For all intents and purposes, the Burbages re-established themselves as a respectable and well-loved family in the wizarding community despite the occasional whisper that they may not be as conservative as others might believe.

iv.

Charity’s maternal grandmother passed away a few months before she began attending Hogwarts. Her personality became more reserved at the time, and her ambition and leadership tendencies placed her in the Slytherin House after her mother. She was lucky that when she boarded the train at Platform 9 ¾ Charity already knew many students in her own and older years and it seemed she would have the pick of who and what she wanted to be with those connections.

As Charity aged she grew back into her warm personality; she was obsessed with Quidditch and attended every match until she was old and practiced enough to join the team as a Chaser. She wore her house colors with pride and boasted light-heartedly before every match that Slytherin would win, but she worked just as hard on the pitch for practices to back up her claims. No matter their House, Charity was always happy, willing, and able to go to the pitch to practice with any Quidditch player willing enough to face the winds and the weather. Her skin was constantly painted with windburn, strange tan-lines, bruises, and cuts, and she wore them like jewelry; a personal adornment of her dedication. When she wasn’t with her teammates or other Quidditch players she tutored younger students or volunteered to help her professors with classroom maintenance or grading. This was how she grew close to her Muggle Studies and Arithmancy professors; she’d rather spend hours marking third-year’s papers on a weekend than playing the game of popularity that many of her housemates found paramount.

She made many friendships across the spectrum of beliefs during her time. Charity found more value in connections with those of more liberal leanings. By her 7th year, one could not argue that Charity was a Slytherin; her name was announced time and time again at Quidditch matches and she was, in essence, a walking billboard for the House. However, Death Eaters were coming more and more into their power and pureblood supremacy grew its infestation in Hogwarts. Bloodtraitor was whispered after her in the halls, though very few students were willing and bold enough to say it to her face. It was as though she’d been issued a challenge and she took that demeaning label in stride as she eventually discovered that she would live to embody that word. Traitor to supremacy, friend to equality. That was what she wanted to be.

v.

When Charity graduated Hogwarts, her Muggle Studies professor referred her to a friend in the Ministry and she soon had a job in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. She loved her position, but the atmosphere at the Ministry was drastically changing. Her father quietly retired as the new regime took over out of obligation to protect his family as rumors that her mother’s daycare may actually be working to aid fleeing muggleborns or bloodtraitors. With both Max and Aoife home, they were able to keep those rumors minimized to the occasional whisper from a disgruntled conspiracist in the dark corners of wizard taverns. Her paternal grandparents moved to an estate next door and the Burbage Estates became somewhat of a fortress of protection. Old money, new magic, and a quiet existence promoting childcare. Their old estate was left to Charity in their will, though for now it sits mostly vacant, upkept by house elves and the occasional visit from Mrs. Burbage. Unbeknownst the Charity, they were preparing for war. While the elder generation did not agree with Charity’s parents or their politics fully, they were determined to protect their small family whatever the cost. Fear and concern were expressed nightly amongst the grandparents, though those hushed conversations never reached Charity’s ears.

Many of Charity’s friends from Hogwarts had joined the Order of the Phoenix either in secrecy at school or in the basements of political “extremists” harboring only the need to do good.  Charity joined as soon as she was asked, though for the most part she still keeps her head down both at work and in public. She rented a flat in downtown London and generally stayed weekends at her parents’ estate. Through this she learned that her parents were, in fact, offering safety to some who were struggling to leave the ever increasing danger of the U.K., often even using their cousin’s visits to smuggle people out of the country. While her parents refuse to pick a side, Charity certainly has, and is determined with youthful bravery to make a change in the world for the better.

[comrade-jiang]

The Price of Bread in Dungeons and Dragons, Part 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

I've been talking about how to profit for far too long, considering my political views. Anyway, today's topic is land and holdings. We might get to hunting and gathering later.

We have topics like drugs, overhead, markup, craftsmanship, and weaponmaking coming up in later installments.

LAND

When we talk about land, we most likely mean profitable land. There's little to no value in a desert unless you are a sand salesman.

First we'll talk about arable land. Our economy is based on wheat, and an acre of wheat turns over a profit of 45gp a year. In real life, the "turn around" time for a business is often 5 years, so we'll set the price for an acre of land at 5 times the turnover rate. This comes to 225gp per acre of arable land. This seems reasonable for the adventurer, but how does our farmer come into possession of his land?

Well, there's feudalism. Feudalism doesn't exist in Bronzeisle anymore, and was immediately succeeded by a sharecropping-like system. The serfs that worked the lord's land were often given ten acres each when feudalism officially ended, as mandated by the duke. If the land stayed in the family and wasn't traded for cheap, easy cash, then they'd still have it.

Another way is sharecropping. Sharecropping in Bronzeisle is where the farmer gives a percentage of whatever is harvested to the owner of the land, usually 50%. The sharecropper is contracted to do this for a time, usually 25 years, and then owns the land. It's often a miserable life of forced scarcity, desperation, and fear that the land owner will take it away at any time, so maybe don't become a sharecropper. Nobody does unless they're desperate.

More reasonable ways of getting land for the poor man include pioneering. This technically means taking undeveloped land and building on it to develop farmland, but in recent years also means the same thing with developed land. The major difference between sharecropping and pioneering is that the pioneer does own the land, and his heirs inherit it. The pioneer gives the lord 20% or so of their crops, or 20% of the profits from what they produce, whichever is higher.

Money lenders might also be interested in investing in a farmer, with the expectation of being paid back. This is how a farmer might get the 5 acres of land he needs to start making real money, but has to pay the lenders before he's actually profiting.

Now let's talk about other resources than fertile dirt. One might buy an acre of forest because it's got especially good wood, or is a truffle grove, or if he's a decadent member of the elite class, purely a hunting ground.

This reminds me that we haven't set the price of lumber. For simplicity, we'll just give ourselves two types of wood: hardwood and firewood.

Firewood is usually sold in cords of 120 logs for 10 silver each, and is made from soft trees that dry out easily. 120 logs will last a family through the coldest four months of the year, if they consume 1 log a day.

Hardwood is used for construction, as well as the handles of tools and weapons. It is sold in boards. 100 boards is sold for 20 silver, and for simplicity's sake, we'll say making an average weapon handle costs 1 board of hardwood.

An acre of forest is going to have about 100 trees in it, with each tree producing about 50 usable boards. This means our acre of forest produces 5,000 boards. Each of these trees will also produce 20 logs, for a total of 2,000 logs. Of course, this is clear-cutting an acre of forest, and trees don't take a year to grow. If replanted, a new forest can grow in 5 years. This is incredibly fast, but we're using 5 just because.

With all this said, we'll set an acre of forest at 250 gold.

Anyway, let's look at water. Saltwater is worth something only if there are rersources in the saltwater, like fish. Of course, most of the time, saltwater means that this body of water is an ocean. Waterfront property, even if non-arable, is going to cost more than arable land simply because of the view. An acre of waterfront property is going to cost us 300 gold in Bronzeisle.

If this is fresh water, it'll be worth even more. Access to drinkable water is going to make an acre of land 350 gold. Arable land with access to water will be 400 gold an acre.

A farmer will need to irrigate his crops, but not necessarily with his own water. If a water source is nearby, the farmer can effectively "rent" water by the acre. For the year, it'll cost him 5 gold per acre of water "rented" from the owner of the source, which is a recurring cost.

Finally, we'll look at resources that can be mined. This varies greatly. A salt resource may be worth 300 gold an acre, while a gold mine would be 50 times that. Figure out what your mine supplies and weigh it against the cost of the land it's on.

Anyway, we'll talk about buildings under the cut.

BUILDINGS

You live in some kind of home, more than likely. In the fantasy world, the people also usually live in homes. They don't sleep outside, and so a house needs to be built somewhere.

Most people rent or lease their home. Very few own it outright, and even then after years and years of paying for it. So, the average person rents from a landlord. We're going to look at the property owner first, then the property renter.

We're working forward, since we already discussed wood. Obviously, wood doesn't just explode into boards when you're ready for it to. Two people sawing wood for 8 hours could produce roughly 200 boards of wood per day. These two people both get paid 10 silver per day, since they are skilled laborers.

A basic one-story shack with dimensions of roughly 20 feet by 10 feet by 8 feet is going to cost us a minimum of 2000 boards. Simply to produce the boards costs 200 silver. Of course, someone had to cut down these trees: a lumberjack. The lumberjack can probably cut down 4 trees a day by himself, providing the 200 boards we need. One lumberjack per two sawmen works out very well. The lumberjack is also a skilled worker, probably more so than the sawmen, but we're going to lowball him and put him at a 10 silver wage. This means it costs 30 silver to produce 200 boards, and 15 to produce 100. Of course, the lumber mill is going to charge 20 silver for 100 boards, not 15.

Our 2000 boards, then, cost 400 silver. We'll say 5 carpenters can build this shack in just 3 days, and them being skilled laborers, it will cost us 150 silver, or nearly half the price of the materials. We haven't even factored in metal hinges for the one door or anything, but for now until we calculate the price of iron, we'll add on another 50 silver. We just built an incredibly shit house for 600 silver.

Now let's build an actual house of quality. We're going to build a nice house with two floors, a fireplace, living room, two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a basement. This is going to cost us about 13,000 boards, or 2600 silver. This is also the price of a large wagon, but 2600 silver is purely the wood.

In the country, this house would sit on an acre or more (often much more) of property, but in the city, it would sit on a small lot barely big enough for itself. Our city lot is going to cost an additional 2000 silver.

We'll need a carpenter and his crew to actually build the house. Instead of bothering with how many carpenters there are, we'll just say this house will take about 30 man-days to build, at 10 silver each, which comes to another 300 silver for carpentry labor.

We have a fireplace. First we're going to buy bricks for it. This fireplace will cost us about 1500 bricks from the brickmaker, who's going to be selling bricks by the hundred for 10 silver. We want 1500 so we'll pay him 150.

Now the mason is actually going to install our fireplace. It'll take 3 days for this mason to do his job, at 15 silver a day, because he also has an apprentice. 45 silver installation.

Our basement will be built by ditch diggers, unskilled laborers, so we'll say it takes them 10 man-days to dig a hole 10 feet deep, 30 feet wide, and 30 feet long. At 5 silver each, this will cost 50 silver.

We haven't even considered any metal parts, and we're already at 5145 silver. We're going to round this out and say this house costs us 6000 silver (600gp) total, which also includes furniture and panes of glass. The last thing we have to worry about is taxes- property taxes will be set at 20%.

The landlord has just put down 600gp for this house, and she'll probably take on the risk of keeping it for 15 or so years. Again, it should last much longer than this.

She'll want to double the cost of her overhead, or charge 1200 gold in rent over the next 15 years. This comes out to a suspicious 666 copper per month, which we'll just round up to 70 silver. This is seven day's skilled wages, but landlords are greedy fucks. The average one might charge 100 silver, or 10 day's skilled wages.

The landlord makes 1200 silver (120gp) a year, and after ten years, has made her money back. Of course, people don't often consistently rent properties, but this is a particularly good year. In 15 years she has made 1800 gold, which is more than livable.

Now we're going to talk about lodging. We have a similar deal, and every fantasy world has a combination tavern and inn. We'll call the inn 800gp and part it out into four rooms. Of course, the lower area also serves food and drink, so the inn rooms won't bear the full cost. The inn would do even better if it was a brothel, but we can worry about that later.

We'll halve the cost per room from 200 to 100, but we'll have to bring it back to 200 if we want to double our money. Anyway, because the rooms of an inn aren't consistently full, the innkeeper is going to charge double the daily price of renting a home. This comes out on the books to 66 copper, but we'll make it 7 silver pieces. This is for an average inn. A terrible inn might be half this and a good inn might be double this. There's an inn in Bronzeisle called the Gilded Fountain that charges 10 gold pieces a night.

HUNTING and GATHERING

Of course a farmer or craftsman is busy, but he's not always busy. Sometimes work is slow and he has time for other things, like hunting, foraging, and fishing. Doing one of these keeps food on the table, or money coming in if it's to be sold.

HUNTING

First, let's talk about game hunting- you know, deer and elk, that sort of thing. Our average two year old buck is going to weigh 125 pounds alive, but once we kill him, bleed him, and part him out, we're left with about 55 pounds of meat. This deer is also going to give us about 3 square feet of hide, which is thin, but will serve well in the winter. An elk can weigh 500 pounds and is going to give us 200 pounds of meat, along with 9 square feet of hide. Deer or elk meat often sells in the summer at 2 silver per pound, but can go up to 5 silver to rival beef during the winter months.

Hunting small game like rabbits and squirrels isn't going to bring in nearly as much money. We're going to price a pound of small game meat at 1 silver- the same as chicken. Animals like this will also give us about 1 square foot of hide.

Now let's talk trapping. An average-skilled beaver trapper would probably set an average of 6 traps. It's closer to 5, but we're making up numbers here, so go with it. This same trapper, if he's working for a fur company, is making 10 silver a day, usually. He catches a beaver in about 50% of his traps. The cost to the company, then, is 33 copper per square foot of pelt, but they're going to upcharge this. Of course they're going to upcharge this.

Our beaver man is basically living off the land when he goes to trap in the winters, eating the animals he catches and packing away the pelts. So we'll say the company is going to sell these beaver pelts for 5 silver each.

We also have mink and fox pelts. While minks and foxes are harder to catch and therefore worth more, they are also smaller. Our foxes are only going to give us half a square foot of usable pelt. Our mink, even less, at a quarter of a square foot. This size difference basically comes to mean that a square foot of any three of these pelts is going to be 5 silver.

Now since we're here, let's get slightly into clothes. Only slightly. With fur, we're mostly looking at fur coats and fur jackets. There are fur hats and mittens as well, and the wealthy will often want fur cloaks.

The person making this fur into clothes is a furrier. She is a highly skilled crafter, and commands 15 silver per day from her boss.

Now let's make some basic clothing items. First up is a fur jacket, which we'll say costs us 5 square feet of fur. 5 square feet of fur costs us 25 silver. The furrier's company also has to pay for materials. There are buttons and zippers in Bronzeisle, so we'll call the price of a fur jacket 30 silver. The furrier is probably only making one jacket per day, so she is pocketing half the profit from her own work.

A fur coat is another matter. It's much bigger and often bulkier, so we'll say it costs 9 square feet of fur. It also takes about 16 hours, or two days' work, to make. This is 45 silver. The furrier's company will then sell her work for 60 silver. She's only pocketing a quarter of the profits here. More skilled furriers can demand more, and the rich will ensure that furriers will find customers while demanding more.

We've only covered animals that are relatively easy to hunt, but what about wolves? Well, wolf coats shed during the warm months, but tough guys will want them regardless. Wolves also exist in packs 90% of the time, and are aggressive. Forget it if it's a dire wolf, but we'll calculate that too.

Our wolf is Medium sized, and most are as big as humans, so we're going to say they provide 5 square feet of fur. The dire wolf is Large, and can be ridden by humans. So we'll call that 10 square feet, or twice as much wolf per wolf as a regular wolf.

Wolf pelts are going to run us 20 silver per square foot, one because of the added danger, and two because of the added danger. A more skilled, or more greedy, trapper is going to try to hunt wolves. He'll command 15 silver a day for his work.

Dire wolves, on the other hand, often kill scores of people single-handedly. We're going to set a square foot of their pelt at 50 silver, which is about 500 silver per animal. A dire wolf hunter is going to want 20 silver a day, since he's risking his life.

FISHING

We mentioned before that a fisherman can pull up 20 pounds of fish per day, but this is a commercial fisherman. A man fishing at the riverside can probably pull up 2 pounds of fish per day. He can still sell this for 1 silver per pound, or start a small salting operation and sell it for 4 silver per pound. He'd do best to keep this fish and eat it through the winter, though. This is regular fish. Salmon or tuna might sell for twice this.

FORAGING

It's hard for the DM to set a price on foraging, so guess what: we won't. At least not foraging as a whole. It is very difficult to forage for one's needs, so we'll just say that 2 hours of foraging can bring in 1 pound of food for the average, untrained forager. This, of course, is assuming that wild edible plants grow sporadically. If one finds an overgrown orchard, or even an orchard that a farmer isn't attending, they've hit paydirt.

Foraging is best done by people who know the area and do it for a living. Without this we run into issues, such as poisonous plants and fungus. The DM is definitely going to have to make rolls on the return of foraged items, since luck is involved.

Foragers can also be paid. It is a skilled work, so they will charge 10 silver per day. They will bring in 2 pounds per hour, or four times what we can do as an unskilled land owner. Sometimes they might come across something worth a lot more than 10 silver, which, if they don't snag it for themselves, makes it worth your while.

Well, that's it for this installment of Bread. Next we can look at tobacco and the like in our drugs chapter. It might be a long one.

[travelsponzfamilyof5]

Boston in 4 days

My husband and I took a trip to Boston for our 15th wedding anniversary in September 2016. We went without kids, which of course made it easier, but I think it can be done with a kid or two. I would recommend older kids, maybe 10 and up. There is a lot of history involved and some interest in early America would help! I planned a short trip to see some highlights in Boston. After researching areas to stay I settled on the North End, or “Little Italy”. First, it is near many of the sights we’d like to see. Second, it is a very interesting and pretty area to stay in. Third, we are surrounded by Italian restaurants and bakeries!

Day 1-

We flew into Boston, and took an Uber to the North End where we are rented an apartment. There are many hotels in the area but we found that an apartment was less money and more convenient for us. We were right in the middle of Little Italy and just a block from the historic Old North Church, as well as many other sights.

The Freedom Trail, a 2.5 mile trail with 16 Revolutionary war sights, is what we walked around the last couple days. First, we walked over to the Paul Revere mall, which is right behind the Old North Church. The highlight is the Paul Revere statue, but it is situated within a stone courtyard with a fountain and other interesting facts about the North End. The church is a beautiful 18th century church and is Boston’s oldest surviving church. This is where Paul Revere lit the lanterns on the top of the church to signal the British are coming.  It is a big tourist attraction with people going in and out. The surrounding neighborhood have cafes, restaurant, gift shops, etc. A very quaint “little” neighborhood that takes you right back to the 18th century. Right up the street from the church is the Copp’s Hill Burying ground. This is the second oldest cemetery in Boston. The graves are dated from the 1600’s thru the late 1800’s. An interesting place to walk around. In the evening we walked over to the Boston harbor walkway, not more than a 10 minute walk. We ate at The Boston Sail Loft, and had beer and a Lobster Roll. The harbor is filled with boats, and it a nice place to sit in the evenings. We were able to do much sightseeing the day we arrived, thanks in part to where we were staying right in the middle of it.

Day 2-

We started our day at a small cafe across from the Old North Church, which is right in front of you considering the streets are very narrow! Then we walked a couple blocks to Paul Revere’s house. This house is the oldest building in downtown Boston. He and his family lived here in the years of 1770-1800. You can walk through the house on your own, with guides placed in rooms to answer questions.  Then we continued on the Freedom trail (which is marked on the sidewalk, but a bit hard to follow without a map!) to Faneuil Hall. Faneuil Hall was a good 10 minute walk from the Paul Revere house. This Hall is currently the Government center in Boston, and has been known as a meeting hall and marketplace since 1743. There are several tours you can go on that start here, as well as a museum and marketplace. We took a guided walking tour which took us by several historical landmarks: Old South Meeting Hall and the Old State House. Most of the tour was stopping at certain places in the downtown and hearing a story of what happened there. One of them being the Boston Massacre. It was an hour long tour, not too long we thought.

Continuing on…we kept on the Freedom trail to Granary Cemetery, which is the oldest cemetery in Boston. This is next to Kings Chapel, which we did not go into because of a service being held. The Granary cemetery is home to many famous people such as: Paul Revere, Benjamin Franklin’s parents, Samuel Adams, John Hancock, and Peter Faneuil.

A little further up we come to Boston Commons, a big park with a pond and picnic areas. The Massachusetts State House is located here as well. While we were there a big event was being held so it was massively crowded. We just walked around and over to Boston Public Gardens right next door. This park is beautiful with its paths by the lake. It is home to the famous Little Duckling statue and the Swan boats. Also many pretty gardens along the way.

We walked back to the North End for dinner. We checked out the much recommended Mike’s Pastry! A long day of walking but we saw so much in one day.

Day 3-

Today we off to cross the harbor over to Charlestown. We took the Charlestown Inner Harbor Ferry at the Boston Harbor. It is a also a good way to get on the water for some sightseeing. The ride is only 15-20 or so, but I cheap way to get around. The ferry brings us right to the Navy Yard where we will see the Navy Yard museum and U.S.S Constitution or “Old Ironsides” in the dry dock.

We then walked over to the Bunker Hill monument, a short walk nearby. On the way there you walk through a colorful neighborhood of houses up to the hill. The Bunker Hill Monument is quite impressive! There are 294 stairs straight up once inside the monument. It is quite steep and a workout to get to the top! Be warned! At the top is a small area to look out over the area and to the harbor. There is small museum right next to it as well. 

Walking back down the hill we had lunch at The Warren Tavern. This is the most historic tavern in America, and was visited often by George Washington and Paul Revere. it was built in 1780 and the first building built after Charlestown was taken by the British.

After lunch we decided to take an Uber to Salem, Massachusetts. This was an interest to me especially since I’ve read quite a bit about the Salem Witch Trials. The Uber ride over was about 30 minutes. We went to the Salem Witch Museum and saw the Trials presentation. This includes sets showing the story of the Witch trials in 1692. I thought it was the extra 30 minute trip over to Salem. We also went over to the cemetery in downtown Salem that honors the 18 people who were put to death for being told they were guilty of witchcraft. 

We walked a little through downtown Salem with its shops and restaurants. The train station wasn’t too far so we took that back to Boston.

Day 4-

Our last day of trip! We stayed in Little Italy today. We had been inside the North Church but we have not been on a tour. The tour includes going up to the bell tower of the old church and down below into the crypts. The staircase going up is the same one Paul Revere ran up to light the lanterns to signal the British are coming. We also saw the Bell system they used to use, and still do. It is several ropes that are connected to the bells up on the top of the church. The guide also explained about the history of the church and how the bell playing was learned and used. Next, we journeyed down to the basement or the crypts of the church. From 1732 to 1860 the church used the space in its church to bury the congregants of the church. It has 37 brick vaults that can accommodate 20-40 coffins. We enjoyed this 30-40 minute tour of the parts of the church most people do not see! Very much recommended…

We saw a lot of history in 4 days. We didn’t see the whole city of course, but we did see some of the most popular and historic for sure. We would stay in the North End if we visit again. Such a nice area and close to everything!

[yuri-cocaine]

quartet (pt.1)

A gathering of friends

L’konnala Ginwa dropped a crate of pebble crabs onto her husband’s foot.

“That en’t—that’s never Kinako?” She couldn’t believe her eyes. L’konnala looked out of the storage into the kitchens at a Highlander woman in a plain brown dress talking with the tavern keep.

“Have you lost your bloody mind?” L’malha Tia grumbled while hopping up and down in pain.

L’konnala wasn’t listening. She swept out into the kitchen, and the Highlander woman turned. Recognition slowly shone in her eyes.

“Konnala? Is that you?”

L’konnala screeched with joy and threw herself at Kinako Naeuri, catching her in a tight embrace. The tavernkeep, a florid Roegadyn man whom L’malha and L’konnala supplied seafood to, stuttered something about a job interview and then gave up. L’malha followed his wife, and stopped to stare at Kinako in joyous disbelief.

“I thought we en’t never going to see you again, Kinako,” he said with a choked voice.

“I don’t know what you’re a-doing here, but thank the Twelve you’re safe and well,” said L’konnala.

Kinako gently pushed her old friend away. “Well, I suppose I was here to apply to be a prep cook.”

“Oh gods, I’m sorry! Don’t let us keep you! L’malha Tia, the hells are you doing standing there gawping like a loosejaw? Sod off!”

That evening, as the sun sank and Pharos Sirius began to burn its furious light, Kinako went to the address L’konnala had given her to visit her old crewmates that she hadn’t seen in over a decade. Down a side alley near the wharves to a quadrangle, where a shed standing in the courtyard rang with hammer falls, into the house that faced the street, and up a narrow stairway to a flat guarded by a little mammet. The mammet bowed to her, and Kinako bowed back.

“It’s more cramped than a gobbie’s rucksack in here, but better than what we used to have,” said L’konnala. She tossed a pile of Harbor Heralds off the pale blue sofa and offered Kinako a seat. “Would you believe we used to live in our fishing skiff? Those Ul’dahns would rather drink viper poison than rent us a place.”

L’malha made tea, and it was the same horrible tea that he used to make back when they were all crewmates aboard the Song of the Sea. It was steeped much too long and filled with so much sugar that it was more sludge than tea, and L’malha tried to make it presentable by serving it in a pink bone teacup with a matching saucer. Kinako smiled, a wave of memories washing over her.

They talked long into the night, reminiscing over the grand old times when the crew sailed to faraway places across the Sea of Jade, to the distant ports of Radz-at-Han, Doma, Kugane. They spoke of their captain, silver-tongued Beatrix Rose, and her first mate Veleda Longblade, who handled most of their business dealings and decorated her axe with ornamental flowers. The spoke of their Ala Mhigo, the Ala Mhigo of their youth before Theodoric and long before the Garleans when the streets were alive and brilliant and every port was a call to adventure. Then their voices grew quiet, and they spoke of the loved ones they lost.

“My Odinel,” said Kinako. “And my Anko too. I pray that they have made it to safety like I have, though I know the chance of that is slim. I pray, and I pray, and I pray.”

“Anko?” said L’malha.

“That’s Aisling,” said L’konnala. “Her Doman name. Don’t be thick.”

“We stayed in the basement even after you left,” said Kinako. “Odinel’s father was poorly, and we couldn’t abandon him. Poor Aisling grew up in hiding all the time. No child should live in terrible fear of being stolen away, and no child should steal clean water to drink and crumbs to eat. I see her even now, a ragged girl in the sewers, and my heart breaks, Konnala, it breaks.”

“We would have always welcomed you and your family to sail to Mazlaya with us, but it en’t our place to tell Odinel to leave his father behind,” said L’malha. “Gods forgive us. I’m sorry, Kinako.”

“Nothing to apologize for, L’malha,” said Kinako. “My family got fractured anyways. We tried to run six years ago. I thought it’d be safe, what with the Archons of Sharlayan as well as the Resistance helping us. I lost my husband and daughter in the chaos that day.”

“And what have you been doing all this time?” asked L’konnala.

“Oh, just wandering, I suppose,” answered Kinako, waving her hand. “Going from town to town, begging for work, sleeping and eating where I could. The Twelveswood, lovely a place as it is, wouldn’t accept me. Will of the elementals, I was told. No work in Ul’dah either. I crossed the sea…”

“You may stay here as long as you like, Kinako,” said L’konnala at once. “You can have Lakshai’s room. She en’t using it much anymore anyways.”

“Thank you, my dear, but I won’t trouble you for long.” Kinako set her cup down and looked up. “I came to Eorzea to find my fortune. I found it, and I lost it. I will return to Yanxia when I have the means to, and go home to my mother and siblings.”

She smiled bitterly. “I’m a failure, aren’t I? Arrived here full of hope, and now I’m returning whence I came in defeat. Whatever life of glory and adventure I imagined for myself as a girl is gone.”

“Now I’ll have none of that wallowing,” said L’konnala. “You’re as brave and bold as I remember you twenty years ago, Kinako, so don’t start.”

L’konnala stood and kissed Kinako on both cheeks. She smiled and said, “What you choose to do next, we will support you. Stay here for now. Rest, eat, heal, and then move on when you feel a-ready to. I’ll get Lakshai to clear off her things from the room. Where has that fool girl gone to?”

“And don’t even think of repaying us,” added L’malha quickly. “This is the least we can do you. Our home is your home now.”

For the first time in years, Kinako slept soundly that night. L’konnala and L’malha Tia stayed up though, and thought of their friend in silence. They remembered a different Kinako Naeuri, the tall and broad-shouldered sailor with dark shining eyes and a cheerful, bellowing voice. They remembered Kinako who was the cook, the boatswain, the quartermaster, the seamstress, and the swabby all at once. She was also the only one among them who knew how to wield a sword, and she wielded it with such skill and swiftness that she ended up teaching the rest of the crew.

But the Kinako asleep in their daughter’s room was gray and gaunt, her face lined and wrinkled, her eyes old and tired. She looked malnourished, and her hair, once black as pitch, was now streaked with white and scraggly. Kinako walked with a limp too, and as L’malha inspected her boots, he found that the soles were so worn that it was about as thick as a napkin.

L’konnala quietly looked through Kinako’s threadbare bag. She found only one other set of smallclothes and slops patched again and again with frayed cloth, and the coinpurse held less than two hundred gil. L’konnala wondered what happened to Kinako’s sword. Did she pawn it?

----------

Kinako lived with L’malha Tia and L’konnala and worked during the day as a cook. L’lakshai, who vaguely remembered the Lees living with them in their old basement in Ala Mhigo, assigned one of her mammets to help Kinako with errands. With each passing day, L’lakshai tried to remember what she could of Odinel and Aisling, and she eventually dredged up hazy recollections of a dark-haired girl trying to play with her. She couldn’t remember Odinel at all, but when she thought of him she was reminded of a sailor stereotype in oilskins and smoking a pipe. 

As she worked on her submarine in the shipyard one afternoon, L’lakshai was approached by a wild-eyed Kinako. The helped mammet scampered after her, carrying a basket full of groceries from the Aleport farmer’s market.

“Aisling!” Kinako shouted. “I saw her at the market! My daughter! She’s alive!”

“Really,” said L’lakshai flatly.

“Yes! I—oh, I shouldn’t ask you to come with me to approach her, you’re busy but,” Kinako struggled to find her words, “Please, L’lakshai, please if you could perhaps tell your mother and father…Oh, I’m all in a dither!”

L’lakshai sighed, and put down her wrench. She followed Kinako to the stalls set up beneath the statue of Llymlaen, and looked over to where Kinako was pointing. 

She groaned with exasperation.

Yun Khatayin, a rogue disguised as an herbalist with a korpokkur kid on her head, was trying to sell potted mandragora seedlings. Holding a struggling mandragora was a tall dark-haired girl, and beside her was the monk, Enna Blackthorne.

L’lakshai strode over. Yun thrust a flowerpot into her face, and Enna smiled and gave a cheery “Hello L’lakshai!” Aisling Lee, identical in every way to Kinako’s daughter, frowned and set the screaming mandragora down.

The four of them stood beneath Llymlaen, and pondered what to do next.

[biofunmy]

Two Eggs With a Side of Avocado Toast and Instagram Fodder

Like the town’s general store from 1919 and schoolhouse from 1850, the Oakhurst Diner in Millerton, N.Y., is a living time capsule.

Housed in the original 1950s Silk City dining car, it screams classic diner: crimped stainless-steel facade, Formica counter with stools, pink-and-blue neon sign, specials scrawled on chalkboards. But the nods to midcentury nostalgia mostly end there.

Sure, you can get two eggs and a cup of Joe here. But you could also order a bahn mi sandwich, Bulletproof coffee, CBD-infused Kombucha, artisanal hot sauce, a macrobiotic bowl with seaweed and brown rice, kimchi and a $16 burger made from “grass-fed and grass-finished” beef sourced from Herondale Farm, about 14 miles up the road.

Day trippers and residents in this quaint village, about two hours north of New York City in the Hudson Valley, can’t seem to get enough. At lunchtime on a recent Friday, every booth was filled with 40-something guys in bicycle Lycra, young friends from Brooklyn, local business owners in polo shirts and khakis, and families renting nearby Airbnbs. And despite the brutal heat, the line at the door was six deep.

“It’s the centerpiece of the town,” said Paul Harney, one of Oakhurst’s owners. “You see people in here from overseas. It’s a daily event that someone takes a picture.”

Welcome to the hipsterfied diner. Same look and vibe as the classic steel original, but the food has been upgraded to reflect current tastes.

The chef slinging hash may have cooked with Noma alumni in Copenhagen. The woman in a booth snapping photos of the food on her table may be a social media influencer. The owner may be a marketing executive from Manhattan fulfilling a childhood dream.

Examples of these fashionable hash houses dot the Northeast, the epicenter of diner culture. In addition to the Oakhurst, there is the one-month-old Silver Lining Diner in East Hampton, N.Y.; the Rosebud in Somerville, Mass.; the West Taghkanic Diner in West Taghkanic, N.Y., and Grazin’ Hudson in Hudson, N.Y.

Perhaps the most chronicled of the new-old-school variety is the Phoenicia Diner in the Catskills, which serves a seasonal menu sourced from local farms and attracts a cosmopolitan clientele who have flooded Instagram with photos of its retro interior. It’s the sort of place where you may see a local police officer eating at the counter, or the model Helena Christensen downing a milkshake.

One reason these revamped diners have prospered in upstate New York may be the existence of what Robert Sietsema, a food writer for the website Eater, called the “hickster” — that is, “hipsters who move upstate” or visit from the city on weekends.

“Like hipsters, hicksters require restaurants, but mostly what they found up there were diners, pizzerias, and roadside taverns,” Mr. Sietsema wrote.

And so was born the greasy spoon serving avocado toast and deconstructed chicken potpie.

Same Space, Different Menu

This revival could not have come at a better time for the American roadside diner. Many have closed in recent decades, the victim of national chains, changing food tastes, rising real estate prices and the general decline in mom-and-pop restaurants.

The ones that remain are rarely known for good food or cool crowds. The menu may offer 14 pages of turkey clubs, omelets and burger toppings, but the ingredients usually arrived on freezer trucks.

Still, there is something super-American about diners, and the nostalgia for them is palpable in popular culture. Think of all the movies and TV shows that feature stainless-steel diners as meet-up spots, including “Baby Driver,” “Gilmore Girls,” “Pulp Fiction” and, of course, “Diner.”

Richard J.S. Gutman, the author of “American Diner Then and Now,” which charts the history of diners, said that seeing a diner in a movie, even in a quick establishing shot, triggers all sorts of feelings and associations.

“You feel at home in the diner whether you’ve been there dozens of times or it’s your first time,” Mr. Gutman said. “There’s a buzz inside. There’s a kind of energy when you’re sitting stool to stool, cheek by jowl, asking for the ketchup.”

That sense of home is what drove M.T. Carney, 49, a founder of Plan A, an advertising holding company in New York, to open the Silver Lining Diner in Southhampton, N.Y., this summer with her husband, Richard Silver.

“That feeling, that place you’d go with your grandpa or your auntie, where is that anymore?” said Ms. Carney, who grew up in Scotland. “There’s something so democratic about diners. They’re part of the community. I think that’s what people are craving.”

Formerly the Princess Diner, the large Art Deco white-and-chrome diner dates back to 1965 and sits near the start of Montauk Highway, the main artery of the Hamptons. In more recent years, the diner was neglected and in disrepair, and in 2018, the former owner was sentenced to six months in jail for failing to pay his employees and the restaurant closed.

Ms. Carney took over the space, brightened the interior and installed cheery yellow booths. For the menu, she teamed up with Eric Miller, the chef at another Hamptons restaurant she owned, Bay Kitchen Bar, to offer elevated diner fare.

The burger, for example, is made with organic beef from Snake River Farms in Idaho, the bun comes from the Blue Duck Bakery down the road, and the cheese and greens are all from local farms. Instead of prepackaged jelly, Mr. Miller whipped up strawberry-rhubarb jam when those crops were in season.

“We wanted this place to feel retro a little bit, but not like Epcot Center,” Ms. Carney said. “Like retro in the emotional sense of the word, you know, that it feels like coming home, it feels comfortable.”

Likewise, the West Taghkanic Diner was a homecoming for Kristopher Schram, who spent a decade cooking in Copenhagen, including at Relae, a Michelin-starred restaurant opened by Christian Puglisi, a former chef at Noma. Mr. Schram then returned to the Hudson Valley, where he grew up, and opened the diner four months ago.

“These days, you’re fighting with everyone to make your restaurant stand out,” Mr. Schram, 36, said. “People walk through the door of this diner and they’re already snapping pictures, or their mood has changed because they’re in a space where they feel so comfortable.”

Built in 1953, the West Taghkanic Diner was still open when Mr. Schram bought it, but the dining room needed a deep clean, the original pie refrigerators were on the fritz, the urinal was broken, and the kitchen was caked in grease, he said.

While Mr. Schram kept the diner’s name and interior intact, the menu got overhauled. He sources the brisket for his Reuben sandwich from Northwind Farms in nearby Tivoli, N.Y., and brines the meat for nine days before cooking it for 12 hours in a smoker he set up outside the diner, which is along Route 82, just off the Hudson/Ancram exit of the Taconic Parkway.

The tricky thing, he said, is balancing people’s expectations of what a diner is with the revamped version, and appealing to all crowds.

“I wanted to keep prices as low as I could so I didn’t draw a divide between locals and people outside,” Mr. Schram said, noting that his Reuben is $16 instead of, say, $10. “I make sure sandwiches are big, the sides are big, and you will feel satisfied.”

Indeed, it’s possible to tweak the conventions of a diner so drastically that you’re no longer a diner.

Justin Panzer, 46, an owner of the Oakhurst, was formerly a line cook at Lutèce, the onetime grande dame of French cuisine in New York (it closed in 2004). At first, he said, his aspirations for the diner were “way too ambitious.”

He insisted the fries be hand-cut, and hired someone to sit in the basement all day slicing potatoes. An early chef was a Nepalese man who introduced chicken biryani and curries to Millerton, an agricultural village of 900.

But as Mr. Panzer and the restaurant’s manager, Clare Caramanica, quickly discovered, the locals weren’t having it.

“Our toast was a rosemary toast,” Ms. Caramanica said. “Some people loved it and some people were, like, ‘Can I just have toast?’”

They have since switched to Eli Zabar bread, a more widely appealing brand. “We found the balance,” she said.

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