#its also implied his mom is still alive

[askchilchuck]

hi chilchuck! i was wondering if you have any siblings,,, and if so, do you have any advice on how to support them through crappy days? i'm not good at comforting others, but i'd like to try my best, and i think we have that in common/pos.

but yeah, if you have any ideas for activities that sound fun (like, ones that you wouldn't feel dragged into) or just your two cent, then that'd be great :))

I've actually got four siblings, but I was the middle child so I wasn't very good with that sort of stuff. My older brother and sister handled most of it, the rest of us just followed along. Usually getting someone out of the house worked pretty well, though. Try taking them somewhere they like going, and see if that helps.

[crushedsweets]

What if Toby was the older sibling instead of Lyra....

And he's tryna get money for a apartment so they both can move out but then the crash happens.... -💀

anon do you understand what this just did to me. CW for grief and briefly implied abuse

i just got off of work n its getting late so its pretty messy and incoherent and mostly just me thinking to myself . . . also i end up talking about normal/younger brother toby for half of this anyway cuz no self control or direction.

i imagine younger brother toby already feels a ton of guilt from the crash. i cant remember if this was canon, but i HC he blames himself for a ton of reasons. she was driving him home from a doctor appointment, he thinks slendy mightve been involved cuz of him, he just cant remember if maybe he had a tic and thats what startled her, if it all comes down to him, if he just asked mom to pick him up instead, if he got a damn bus, anything else

so the idea that he's older. HE'S THE ONE DRIVING COME ONNN. he's driving her to school or something. man.

obviously tobys a protective person, but i imagine it comes tenfold towards a little sister. and it would fucking KILL him that 1. he couldnt always protect her at home because he was trying to work enough to get them out of there 2. his own driving is what took her life.

this is half on topic to your ask but. in my AU, around age 13 toby started being a menace and incredibly unfairly cruel to lyra (needless insults, taking her stuff, arguing with her) because he had so much pent up rage. and lyra always tried to give back kindness, and eventually (a yr or so later) toby calmed down and got close with her again .

so. realistically, if toby were older, he'd still have an asshole phase. but i like to think its more in the like. "leave me the fuck alone" way rather than trying to have some power. and he'd eventually get over it and realize he's gotta pull it together for her because she's even more scared and powerless than him and it sucks and she needs someone to be there for her .

however, i think after her death, the guilt he'd feel from even having that sorta asshole phase with her would EAT HIM ALIVE.

i dunno. this entire dynamic hurts my soul. please give the rogers siblings joy for once.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

the shroud family curse and its implications for intimacy

I was thinking about what the Shroud parents must look like under their helmets and then I started wondering how they met and fell in love 🤔 While wondering about that, I came to the realization that Mr. and Mrs. Shroud's romance must have been a complicated one.

***Spoilers for books 6 and 7 of the main story below the cut!!***

Idia’s grandmother, Aidne, was the previous director of STYX. She was succeeded by her son (Idia’s father), which implies that the Shroud blood and the curse that comes with it are from the paternal side of the family. Idia’s mom, then, is the one who married into the family. (It’s not clear at this point if those that marry into the Shroud family are also magically afflicted with the same condition, but for the purposes of this post whether it is or not isn’t relevant as my point will still stand either way.)

The Shroud curse quickly burns away any blot the individual has in their body without the typical means of recovery (ie rest and self-care). If there is no blot to incinerate then the curse will turn to consuming the magical energy of the individual themselves, which could pose a threat to their wellbeing and even their life. Because of this condition, ancestors to the Shroud family threw themselves into research on blot in STYX. This would ensure that Shroud members were always around blot that could be burned in the place of their own energy, and provided a sense of false hope for them. They believed that if they worked hard enough, they may be able to find a cure for their curse--but over time, that belief waned, and instead it seems they are all now resigned to their fate and don't try to defy it. We see this is true of the latest generation of Shrouds, as Idia was groomed to become the next director of STYX from a young age even when he disliked the idea and how his responsibilities restricted his freedom. In fact, the Shrouds in general are described as being gloomy people, and this is possibly the result of the hopeless feelings they have about their curse.

A secondary consequence of the curse is that it socially isolates members of the Shroud family from society. Idia is somewhat of a special case since we also have to consider the mental and emotional anguish he experienced following his involvement in Ortho's death. However, even disregarding this horrific tragedy, it can be inferred that the Shrouds are forced into positions which make them more alone than others. For one, their jobs seem to be very demanding and literally physically keeps them away from others (besides colleagues) since the headquarters are located in bottom of the sea. In Idia's post-OB flashback, we get dialogue which implies that he is not allowed outside very often--something which we can attribute to his being the heir to STYX. This may imply that previous Shrouds experienced similar childhoods, and this is just a continuation of the cycle. (I do want to point out here that Idia says his family used to go out to various places together when Ortho was still alive, so it's not a strict requirement that the Shrouds have zero outside interaction. They obviously do go outside the lab, but we cannot say for sure how frequently.)

More importantly, there is also an emotional and psychological component to isolation. You do not need to actually be alone in a room to be considered "isolated" from others. You could, in fact, be in a room full of people and still feel "isolated" because you haven't made any meaningful connection with them. This is what I think it must feel like to be a Shroud out in the world. You may technically be considered a part of the population, but you still don't quite fit in. For example, Idia has previously expressed worries that people will stare at his hair and recognize him as a Shroud, then ridicule his appearance and attitude. Indeed, the gloomy presence that the Shrouds give off seems to be a major deterrent for others to interact with THEM. All that time spent in physical isolation must have also had an impact on the Shrouds' ability to socialize. Idia is a strong example of this; he is an avid gamer and feels comfortable with taunting people via a screen. His face-to-face manner of speaking, meanwhile, can be incendiary and often rubs his classmates the wrong way. His father is not the exact same as him, but Mr. Shroud seems to have his own issues communicating affection and tends to describe things in a serious manner or in terms of work. Thinking about the way the curse is constructed too, there is a built-in fear that the Shrouds can never truly form long-lasting relationships with others, nor completely reveal their true selves to friends. Idia exposits as much in book 6. When Ortho tries to get his big brother to be friends with the OB boys, Idia dismisses the idea and says it won't matter in the end because they will be "sent down the river" and have their memories of those fun times completely purged. This illustrates a defeatist mindset which may be pervasive in all or most of the Shroud family: if this is going to be the fate of my loved ones, why bother getting close to anyone at all? It will just be more painful for us in the end.

SO LIKE. What was Mr. Shroud probably going through when he was seeing his then-girlfriend????? ??? ??? ??? ? ? ??? ? ?? He was probably so frustrated that he couldn't tell her anything about who he really was, and probably even more frightened that if he did ever tell the truth, he might lose her forever (via River Lethe memory wipe). And even if she still accepts him for it, then what??? Then she has to join the Shroud family, and that's basically damning her to the same mopey life he has, researching blot in the middle of nowhere until they're nothing but bones. Imagine how intense that guilt must be, knowing that you (yes, YOU) are responsible for "dragging down" your beloved into the same miserable circumstances that you're in. Not only that, but surely then you'd also have to tell your S/O that any children you conceive together will have the exact same destiny in STYX. It's not just Mr. Shroud either, it must be generations of Shrouds going through this same thing.

But, but, but!! In spite of his fear, Mrs. Shroud must have said yes because she truly loves him with all her heart… Their relationship must be built on such a strong foundation of trust and loyalty 😭 (From here, this is all speculation/headcanon/me rotting about the Hades-and-Persephone-esque romance I picture Idia's parents having. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.) I don't think that Mr. Shroud would be the one to initiate or to be affectionate. At most, maybe he had a shy sort of crush on her. More likely it was Mrs. Shroud that first expressed a romantic interest and passionately pursued him. And then maybe over time his feelings blossomed but he was still too afraid to put this massive burden on her shoulders, knowing the responsibility he bears as the future director of STYX... BUT HE HAS ALSO BECOME TOO ATTACHED TO HER TO CUT HER OUT OF HIS LIFE COMEPLETELY... Her very presence is screwing with his usual sense of cool, calculated logic 💀

AND WHAT ABOUT "THE TALK" THEY'D HAVE TO HAVE TO FULLY DISCLOSE EVERYTHING???? HOW MUCH MR. SHROUD MUST'VE BEEN SWEATING WAITING FOR HER ANSWER????? ?? ?? ? ? ? Oh, Sevens. Now I've done it. Here comes the moment where he gets dumped and his mom sends in a whole squadron of men to kidnap his girlfriend and clean her brain up. But NO 😭 Instead Mrs. Shroud just clasps his hands and insists that they should get married so he'll never have to wallow in those miserable thoughts all alone... He's confused and keeps begging her to reconsider, because this decision will inevitably throw her entire life off course.

"Are you sure about this? If you say yes to me, your fate will be sealed. You can never turn back. Your life will be sworn to the Isle of Woe." "Yup, I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life! Let's burn in the Underworld together, darling <3"

She provides a response that’s so easy and devil-may-care that he doesn’t know what to say back, so he just quietly laughs… and slowly those quiet laughs morph into quiet sobs… (like how flashback!Idia transitioned from laughing to crying when he was bragging about how indestructible the “new” Ortho is 😈 LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON—)

Idia drops this line during his extended post-OB flashback: "So it's romantic when a hero rescues his ladylove from the Underworld, but when I do the same for my brother it's wrong?" WHAT IF THAT WAS TRUE, BUT WITH THE GENDER ROLES REVERSED, FOR HIS PARENTS???? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? Mrs. Shroud willing to literally throw herself into the Underworld to "save" Mr. Shroud... like how Persephone was willing to stay there with Hades... 🙃 I'LL EAT THAT SHIT UP, JUST DROP THE "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER" UPDATE OF TWST, DEVS..... . . . .. ..... . . .. . .. . . . . . . .. .... . . .. . . .... . . .. . . . .

Okay, I'm done screaming and sobbing at the wall for now--.

[triviallytrue]

Watching something as iconic as NGE is kinda funny because every now and then something happens and you're like "oh! that guy! from tumblr!"

General thoughts:

Poor Shinji. Dude keeps getting put in situations.

The Ender's Game comparison keeps coming up for me - child soldiers utterly essential to the cause. The big difference is that they are just completely flubbing their psychological management in NGE - in Ender's Game they had eyes on the kids 24/7 and maintained in-depth psychological profiles on all of them, whereas in NGE they have loads of money and manpower focused on maintaining the EVAs but their equally-essential pilots are just... going to school. Shinji got punched and they didn't know!

And what is Misato's deal, anyway? She's in her 20s and has a crazy amount of authority (she just requisitioned all of Japan's power) and they're just kinda... letting her manage Shinji? It's not her job, but she's just doing it? She's his commanding officer but also his mom/sister, which is a really bad combo. Also I don't think I'm imagining the grooming undertones, those seem intentional.

The real motivator for someone like Shinji is (of course) his social connections - the two schoolkids and Rei, and then maybe to some degree Misato, and then even more distantly his father. Kids don't put themselves through severe distress just for the abstract concept of "saving the world," especially a world that has thus far been very unkind to them. To bring back the Ender's Game comparison, this feels like a very deliberate point that Graff and friends were aware of (the way they used Valentine as a strategic resource) but in NGE it seems to be mostly happenstance that Shinji made some human connections before completely shutting down.

Rei thus far is an interesting foil to Shinji. Normally I get kind of put off by scenes like the one where he walks in on her, but it gives you a lot of important information about both of them. Shinji, underneath all the abandonment issues and repression, is still a pretty normal kid - awkward, horny in that embarrassing adolescent way, deeply self-conscious. Rei is alien (or perhaps just very autistic). She just doesn't clock 90% of the tension at all. She pilots the EVA without complaint (though perhaps with equal psychological distress, just heavily repressed). She also gets along very well with his shitass dad, which is revealing in its own way.

I'm told there is another child, a red haired one, named Asuka(?), the thus-far only implied Second Child. Wonder why she isn't here yet?

I heard that it was some kind of twist that the EVAs were alive in some sense, but doesn't that naturally follow from the first couple episodes? Unit 01 moves to save Rei without a pilot and then goes berserk to kill the angel. Maybe there's more to the twist that I don't know yet.

What's up with the angels? Why are they here, what do they want, what are they exactly? Who cares. They are a plot device in purest form - they enable the rest of the show, but the show is not meaningfully "about" them. They didn't half-ass it though - the designs are absolutely phenomenal.

Oh, and there's some second project NERV is working on, a human transformation thing that got mentioned once and never again. That will probably be important eventually.

[hopeymchope]

what's some criticism you have about makoto/the most valid criticism you've sene of him?

I've been sitting on this ask for like a week, because I've been struggling with it. Even when I think I remember one that hits a solid mark, I then mentally argue it down to being a non-issue.

The only criticism I've seen that ever hit any kind of mark for me is some fans' frustrations that he didn't endure/overcome much personal loss compared to many of the characters around him, because he repeatedly seems to luck out and have it work out in the end. This usually comes from people who are bitter about Kirigiri's survival in DR3, but I can understand that having Naegi's seeming losses get reversed or resolved whereas someone like Fuyuhiko has to lose his sister and then just carry on with it... it can seem kind of unfair. Why does he get to keep his secondary protag/potential love interest, but Hajime loses Chiaki? Why does he get his sister back safely while Asahina loses her brother forever? And so on.

The first counter to this complaint is that, well, he seemingly / maybe / probably? lost his parents during the tragedy. But those with this complaint find it frustrating that this is kept open-ended and hopeful, still leaving him with a chance to once again reverse/undo his loss. Despite seeing their corpses pretty clearly broadcast on television during Ultra Despair Girls, when Komaru finally gets to the actual place the Naegi parents are supposed to be? They aren't there, leaving her with a sense of hope that she'll still find them somehow alive.

The second counter to this complaint is that obviously Makoto still loses tons of friends during the course of DR1. Even if he doesn't immediately remember how close they all were, its implied in DR2 that they maybe/probably got those memories back later. Which had to make it pretty devastating.

Those who harbor this complaint have sometimes said that Naegi's unrelenting hope would mean more if he actually had to overcome a permanent loss. But I think that rings kind of hollow when you consider that he manages to remain hopeful even in the immediate aftermath of Kyoko's "death" in DR3. At this lowest possible point, he stands strong.

And despite how much I'm arguing against this complaint? I still think it rings kind of true. Because it DOES feel unfair that he gets off relatively lightly compared to so many other characters. Togami loses everything that defined him, everything that he based his pride and reputation on. Kirigiri loses Samidare brutally, finds her father's body without even knowing if the two of them ever achieved any kind of closure, and the question of whether she ever reunites with her grandfather is left wide open. Class 77-B may only lose ONE of their friends and classmates, but they also lose their freedom and their ability to live a peaceful life by accepting and embracing not only the guilt of their actions as Remnants, but also taking on the guilt of what happened in the Future Arc of DR3. Maki loses Kaito, Shuichi loses Kaito AND Kaede, and so on. These characters are forced to carry on after permanent, undeniable losses.

For those reasons, I do prefer to think that the Naegi parents are later confirmed dead. It gets Naegi more of a permanent, personal loss to endure and overcome in the longer term—I even wrote a fanfic one-shot about it.

But you know, I feel like I should mention that, for those who think Makoto gets off light because he's a "creator's pet" or something? There is someone in the DR1 who ultimately gets off even lighter than Naegi: Yasuhiro Hagakure. The ONLY seeming personal loss he ever endures is his mom — and he gets her back safe and sound! But I guess he's very rarely explored seriously since he's mostly comic relief... so maybe people don't worry about him as much.

[yuukei-yikes]

is it ever explained anywhere in the kagepro media what is Haruka's condition? tried to look into the kagepro fanwiki what it was but it just says "[...] implied to be cardiovascular". You got any clue?

SORRY FOR THE SUPER LATE ANSWER i have been Crazy busy and Crazy going through it. hope it's still helpful!

anyway!!! neither haruka or takane's conditions are outright stated, and are only mentioned as a heart disease and a sleeping disorder. even haruka and takane themselves don't know much about each other's diagnosis, and seem to know the basics of it. i always liked this detail because it's like they didn't want to ask each other too much about it, since they know what it's like to be constantly interrogated about it.

yaaay ill talk about takane even if u didnt ask but i promise its to make a point

with takane, the general consensus is that she's got specifically narcolepsy, because her symptoms are described with enough details that narrow it down to what it could be. she randomly falls asleep, and is extremely tired/sleepy all the time. when she dies... supposedly kenjirou had... poisoned her? but that's not stated anywhere im pretty sure it was just a popular headcanon (im so lazy to go check gang sorry. but i am pretty sure it's not mentioned also when tf would he have done that) however takane was extremely accelerated from running and her epiphany, and as soon as she falls she says "no way im having an episode rn" like she immediately knew what was happening, so it seems like cataplexy is also something she experiences. basically narcolepsy is... like spot on described and shown.

instead, for haruka its much less clear. like you said, he's only described to have a heart disease that's very serious and sends him into cardiac arrest erm kind of often, and it's also genetic because his mom had it and died from it. that's... it! there's never been popular headcanons on what it could be. unlike a sleeping disorder, a heart disease can be caused by a million different things and still have the same result (heart attacks). meanwhile sleeping disorders are a little bit more specific so takane's is easier to deduce.

haruka's illness could be many things, but my personal headcanon has always been arrhythmia. to be honest i decided on this hc as a teen bc it was the only heart disease i knew at the time so i kinda ran with it LOL but ive done some more reading later on (not extensive studies of it... just random google searches) and ive still landed on arrhythmia being my headcanon because it's also genetic, and there are different types of arrythmia, some being really really scary... not that arrhythmia in itself isnt scary tbh. its the irregular beating of the heart, so a heart attack can literally happen any moment!! scary as hell. but that's also why i think it's fitting, like even a sneeze could make haruka jumpcut scene to an ambulance.

these are some old hcs of mine but a more recent one is haruka getting treatments and surgeries post str. despite awakening eyes keeps haruka alive, it doesn't Cure him, but makes him strong enough to stand these treatments he wasnt suitable for before, increasing his lifespan. so even if awakening eyes doesnt cure him, it definitely helps him live.

so post str haruka is still very much a regular patient to the hospital and both him and takane continue to be medicated for life

[raindrop-on-a-spiderweb]

Is there a time in which you plan to share the plot/ending of stories that have been shelved, like Wayfaring Daughter? I finished my second reread of the chapters published and I am soooo interested to know what happens next and what is the endgame for those well-developed characters!!!

Or is that something you want to keep close to you? I imagine long, multi-chapter original stories are so difficult to finish, it is insane you already have one completely finished and one nearly done! Props to you!!

Keep up the great work!!! 💗

Answering these both at once if that's ok!!

I've come to a sad conclusion that Wayfaring Daughter will never be completed. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I bit off more than I could chew with this story. The world circumstances at the time in which I was working on it intimidated me, and I made the worst decision an author could do--I let fear and self-doubt creep in, and inspiration get away from me. So I'll tell you what I had planned for Wayfaring Daughter.

Here is what I had planned:

Rosannah gets pregnant while in the attic and is forcefully married to Robert, while Jeremiah still prowls around. Leland threatens them into a threesome because he knows that Rosannah is still wanted by the FBI.

Meanwhile, it also turns out that it wasn't Robert who was fucking his mom Perdita. It was her brother Harland. Rosannah had the two rooms in the back wing switched. The argument that led to Josiah's death was that Robert was Harland's son, and not Josiah's, as he had the recessive pale hair of the Beauforts instead of Leland, who was a brunette and Josiah's legitimate son–and that's why Josiah hung himself in the coat rack room.

This was revealed to Robert and Rosannah during a scene with ranting, dementia-riddled Ezra in his bed, who had walked in on his brother and sister fucking each other.

Knowing that if Leland–the only legitimate son–would inherit Bethlehem Hall that it would fall into ruin, Rosannah smothered Ezra, as Robert was unable to do it. Connected to that, it was also gradually revealed that as a child, Rosannah had purposefully slit the threads that sewed the rattlesnakes' mouths shut so they couldn't bite during church services. Resulting in that the next time her Pentecostal father had a snake-wielding service, the snake got its mouth loose and bit him fatally. 

Rosannah finds a diary in a nook, about a house slave girl named Philomena, who was the unwilling paramour of her half-brother Clement. She is the many-greats grandmother of Noah Broughton, who had inherited all the land in Savannah from the Beauforts and is why Letitia had hated the Broughtons so much. Clement had gotten Philomena pregnant, who hated Clement and was sickened by his abuse because she regarded him as a brother.

Philomena fell in love with a field slave called John, who is the many-greats grandfather of Arletha. This was the crux of Noah and Arletha's love, the descendants of two star-crossed lovers who could never be together.

This ties into the basement plot. Uriah was a serial killer and rapist of the slave women of Bethlehem Hall, as well as Maudelynn at a party when she was a young girl, as she had retreated into PTSD when she was asked about him. As the Union forces approached Bethlehem Hall, the fathers and brothers of the women who'd been murdered and raped by Uriah rose up, stormed Bethlehem Hall, caught him in the wine cellar and burned him alive. That's where the dark scorch mark comes from, and the spirit in the basement is him, trapped there forever. While the slaves are freed, Philomena is already pregnant and doesn't dare approach John, feeling unworthy of him as she is already pregnant. They part without ever seeing each other again. This is where it was implied that the Broughtons got their fortune, from Clement willing his land to Philomena and her son.

Liza Ann, Linney Belle's mother, arrives at Bethlehem Hall to take her daughter back at one point. While Rosannah liked her and she was completely apologetic and looking forward to connecting with her daughter, Rosannah was wary and angry that she would dare take Linney Belle away from her, and got Robert and Leland to strangle her to death and bury her in a grave out in the Bethlehem Hall lands.

When Linney woke up the next morning and asked what happened to Liza Ann, Rosannah tells her that her mother abandoned her again, and hugs her.

While investigating Liza Ann's death, Jeremiah finally makes his way back to Bethlehem Hall and confronts Rosannah, Leland and Robert.

From there, there were a lot of endings that I had in mind.

1. Rosannah was executed by hanging, but her spirit still haunts Bethlehem Hall. Linney Belle, an impoverished old woman, gave tours of her dilapidated old home Bethlehem Hall, and after one of the tour groups left, she walked into an empty room and saw Rosannah in her familiar dress turning to meet her, and she died on the floor.

2. Rosannah holds the men at gunpoint, kills Jeremiah, and restrains her husband Robert and Leland with rope. She flees into the night, but even after Linney's entire worldview of her is shattered, she still runs after her, begging to come along with her. Rosannah kisses her and says when she is old enough, they will be reunited. On Linney's 18th birthday, she receives a postcard of an American state and a PO Box. She travels there, and the PO box contains another postcard of another state. On and on it goes until Linney crosses the border to Mexico, riding donkeys across the Darien Gap, traveling hundreds of miles until the final postcard is simply an address. She walks into the Colombian forest until she comes across a gate, and a pale-haired little girl (Robert and Rosannah's daughter) greets her and tells her she knows who she is. Linney follows her up the winding road to a house, and in the distance she sees a figure with curly black hair, and Linney lets go of her suitcase to burst on the ground to scatter clothes all over, and she runs.

3.  The 3rd ending is the worst one. The same series of events happen with Rosannah killing Jeremiah and running from Bethlehem Hall, but this time she accepts Linney coming along with her. They leap on a train going out west, then it segues into a flashback of how Rosannah's first baby died. It's from the point of view of Jack Semple, and he spies through a sliver of door Rosannah pushing her daughter under the water and drowning her with a blank look in her eyes.

After the funeral of their baby, they trudge back to their shack, and Jack hesitantly asks if she really did it. Rosannah seems inhuman in that moment, and tells him he saw nothing and was imagining things.

And then he went to the liquor cabinet and swigged from a bottle of whiskey to forget his memory, although he had never done so before. Implying that he had started drinking because of Rosannah's manipulation and to forget what he had seen, and that what we've seen from Rosannah's point of view had been totally false, and that perhaps she had been the real villain the whole time--manipulative enough to get Leland and Robert to kill Liza Ann, manipulative enough to kill her father, and brutal enough to kill her husband.

Then the scene cuts to Rosannah and Linney on the train, Rosannah pregnant and Linney resting her head against her belly as Rosannah caresses Linney's hair.

The last scene is Rosannah, not pregnant and no longer with Linney, coming across a rural Mexican village. She smiles, says she's from out of town, and asks if she can take a teaching job. After all, she loves children.

[richie-shitlips]

darling can you please tell me about My High School Sweetheart. i am so normal about Sweetheart.

yes definitely absolutely

i feel like i've told you a lot of this but shhhhh no i haven't

as you know i see the show as marvin telling his story to whizzer (which i haven't actually said in these posts yet! just hasn't been necessary, but this is the one i have the biggest evidence for actually)

but it starts out in sweethearts perspective! marvin has trouble figuring out what's real and not throughout the musical (i'll make a different post explaining why i think he's schizophrenic at a later date) so the repetition of "i'm a person" is sorta a mantra for him. and in the process, he forgets that other people are real too (*cough* npd *cough*)

this whole song is confusing cause i also get the boys in the band vibes from the first verse ("Michael, you are a real person" "Thank you, and fuck you!") but that doesn't fit anywhere else in the analysis so it's going here

"i want to hold him, but he's not alive" is a line only in the 1985 version, and i think it's foreshadowing for I Feel Him Slipping Away! but also it just ties into the general metaphor of love and death in in trousers :)

"i say a person has her wants and needs, i'm not a greedy person! he says i'm just ridickalous!" i'd assume this is marvin calling her greedy for wanting/needing affection and love from him

"put me onto your bed, not a pedestal" is just a really good line in general but like. she's still saying to treat her like a person. even in bed, don't worship her, she'd be happy with just being treated decently. it's really fucking sad

then we meet miss goldberg for the first time in the show, and wow what a way to introduce a character! you get high expectations of her and also jealousy from sweetheart and also makes you wonder just what her relationship with marvin is?

"she gave me words to say" could mean just lines in the play, but i also see it as her telling him to lie about what happened between them. if you're new here, i see miss goldberg as a groomer, and i'll talk more about that if you ask me about set those sails or the r of miss goldberg...

unrelated but i like to think that marvin's moms name was nina and that's why he gets so happy about the boats! (in the dialogue. for fans of only the 1979 version, it goes as such: "Queen Isabella, as you recall, had three ships: The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The Santa Maria being the best looking of the three, lots of gold and carved wood. Even the Pinta had its admirers. But it was the Nina Christopher was fondest of- for it was named after his mother, Nina Columbus!" which is a blatant lie but shh he's infodumping)

another interpretation of that dialogue is that it's a metaphor for the ladies, as in the trinity college production he gestures to wife, sweetheart, and goldberg respectively as he talks. which says that he sees goldberg in a sort of maternal way at first, which is really sad

then, after goldberg sings her part, marvin repeats it with her, which is what i say him telling whizzer about. bragging about what a good actor he was and such "i love the way marvin acts, i do"

the second dialogue is interesting cause goldberg is compared to isabella in a way, and marvin is obviously columbus, which implies that there was something romantic or sexual between them (which there was, no matter how you look at it)

[lunarthecorvus]

You said you’ve read multiple fics where Wylan and Kaz’s moms were friends, can I get the links?

Kaz Brekker's Mother's & Marya Hendriks fanfiction recommendations

part of Lunar's soc fanficiton rec series

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blood of my blood by @garbagef4iry

Wordcount: 9,332 Chapters: 9/9

Characters: Kaz Brekker's Father, Kaz Brekker's Mother, Original Characters, Marya Hendriks, Jan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker

Tags: Women’s Rights Movement, city girl x country boy, Misogyny, Badass Women, mentions of abuse and violence, late victorian england vibes, Prequel

Author's summary/notes: As Kaz struggles in his confidence with becoming a father, he yearns for his own. For both of his parents. This is the story of his mother and father— Wilhelmina Trapp and Abram Rietveld. My summary/notes: I love this fic so much. You have badass women fighting for the women's right movement, I'm obbsessed with Kaz's mum in this, and it has Anika's parents?! Also Marya my beloved <3 and how she ended up where she did + so many other original characters

---------- ☾₊ ⊹

Keeping Me Alive by @martinakl13

Wordcount: 510,662 Chapters: 175/?

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Jan Van Eck, Marya Hendriks, Anika Imogen, Alys Van Eck, Inej Ghafa's Mother, Original Characters, Jakob Hertzoon, Inej Ghafa's Father, Jordie Rietveld, Specht, Per Haskell, Jarl Brum, Pim, Keeg, Roeder, Tante Heleen, Pekka Rollins, Colm Fahey, Asha, Hanzi, Big Bolliger, Oomen, Hanne Brum, Saskia Rollins, Kaz Brekker's Father (Mentioned), Kaz Brekker's Mother (mentioned), Matthias Helvar's Sister, Matthias Helvar's Father, Matthias Helvar's Mother, Genya Safin, Reyem Yul-Kaat, Nikolai Lantsov, Zoya Nazyalensky

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sports, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Gambling, Dyslexia, Trauma, Violence, Past Child Abuse, Mixed Martial Arts, Past Character Death, Touch-Averse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Swearing, Implied/Referenced Sex, Alcohol, Hacking, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Slow Burn, Jordie Rietveld Lives, Soft Inej Ghafa, Soft Kaz Brekker, Drug Use, Depression, Kaz Brekker Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Inej Ghafa Needs a Hug, Eating Disorders, Drug Addiction, Survivor Guilt

Author's summary/notes: A boy who lost everything and is still fighting for his chance at a better life. A ballerina who wants to make her dream come true. A soldier running away from a terrible truth. A multilingual girl, abandoned by her own family, trying to find her place in a world. A talented musician who struggles to overcome his father's prejudice and mistrust. A boy who solves his problems by making bad decisions. Six students of University of Ketterdam deal with their past and traumas to find love, understanding and friendship. My summary/notes: I have recommended this fic before so I won't add any new notes but although it is only in the background they do speak about Marya and Kaz's mothers shared past friendship. Also, Martina is so sweet and such a great author with so many other soc fics so go check them out

you'll get the green light (and i'll get the old door in the face) by @honeii-puff

Wordcount: 698 Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Marya Hendriks, Wylan Van Eck (Mentioned), Alys Van Eck (mentioned), Plumje Van Eck (mentioned), Jesper Fahey (Mentioned), Kaz's Father (mentioned), Kaz's Mother (mentioned),

Tags: no beta, Title from Problems (Mother Mother)

Author's summary/notes: In which Mayra Hendriks invites Kaz Brekker for tea twice, and one time he accepts My summary/notes: I know this fic is short and only talks a bit about it, I still think its sweet and is great ground to think about the friendship more.

These are the only fics I can find now, I will keep on the look for the others, and if anyone has a fic with this friendship feel free to let me know and I'll read it and rec it <3

[astercontrol]

you all know I'm not really interested in Legacy in anywhere near the depth that I'm interested in '82--

and YET, sometimes, these ideas keep coming to me

An idea in four weird acts:

1.

What if the Sea of Simulation was the same thing to Jordan that Clu was to Flynn.

what if she created it/ copied herself into it

and some version of her consciousness is in it, always working

and its purpose is to help make things

what if all the parts of the Grid that were made with her architectural skills just… appeared by emerging fully formed from the Sea

2.

what if this sentient Sea also, eventually, learned how to make living programs.

And those were the ISOs

like. I've seen theories about how the ISOs may have been like Flynn's children in a sense, because their creation may have somehow… spawned from his human presence on the Grid, or something

but… if the method of their creation also involved Jordan, this deepens that idea even further

(parallel to the River Jordan becomes almost painful��. body of water that has been the source and setting of endless history and life and culture but also endless war and violence. really that is… TOO much for me to even wanna get into. …moving on.)

3.

what if, as the creator of the ISOs, the Sea kept backups of her creations? What if the ISOs can be restored from her?

(If, as implied in the Betrayal comic, Clu poisoned the sea to prevent more ISOs emerging, then this may have harmed Jordan's program and/or the backups it was keeping.)

(But, maybe she has some form of protection. Maybe they're still in there and recoverable, if anyone's looking around after Legacy for ways to rebuild the Grid. We can only speculate!)

4.

As much as "reset buttons" that undo canonical harm are often seen as a lazy way out…

well, I often find them fascinating-- just for the (usually unexplored) ethical implications.

If everything and everyone that Clu destroyed can be brought back… what does this do to his villainhood?

And for this thought experiment, my brain is still stuck partway in the world of Riemann's fic The Five Stages of Rectification… where the premise is that both Clu and Flynn ended up still being alive after reintegration, just with their identities and worldviews very much shattered and needing to figure a whole lot of stuff out.

But whether or not Clu or Flynn still exist and have to live with this new reality-- and whether or not they are feeling remorse and seeking redemption--

the questions still remain deeply troubling, in regard to the atrocities that Clu committed, and the mistakes Flynn made that led to that happening.

if the Sea has backups... does it lessen the harm of what they did?

It may bring back everything they caused to be destroyed.

It doesn't change the intentions behind their actions. Doesn't change that many victims were killed with deliberate cruelty, and with the intention that they stay dead. (Ethical thought experiment: How much do intentions matter in comparison to outcome? Is this different depending on whether the outcome was better or worse than the intentions?)

It doesn't erase the suffering that happened during that destruction. The pain of those who were hurt and killed. The trauma of those who survived them. (Ethical thought experiment: If Clu could erase everyone's memory of the suffering he caused, thus removing the only thing still hurting anyone-- would it make things better, or worse?)

Further ethical thought experiment: How do these questions compare to arguments for why it is wrong to kill people in the real world, even if you believe that there is an afterlife where they will go and be happy forever?

just… a whole complicated MESS of ideas bursting out of this... which I am not even particularly interested in writing fic about, because deep philosophical moral questions are things I want in my fic as a background motif at MOST, and... this would definitely consume the entire theme of any story it got into.

Ah, Disney.

You can give every protagonist a dead mom who's such a non-character that it's easy to headcanon she never really existed.

BUT you cannot stop the fans from making something more out of what you've neglected.

Always.

[duhragonball]

Phantom Blood Liveblog JJBA ch.1-5

🇬🇧🗡️⚰️🩸🧛🐸🧂Yikes! P-part 1!🌭🍫🏰🧟🛳️🎩🥖

Back in May I liveblogged JoJolion, because I've been wanting to do it for a few years and couldn't find the time. Once I finally got into it, I had a blast, and that got me motivated to block out time to do other JoJo parts. I tried to cover the anime as I watched it in 2017, and the manga for the parts that weren't animated at the time. But I didn't really get a handle on how to do it right until later, and I always wanted to go back and read the manga for the parts I only saw in cartoon form.

And since Part 1 is the shortest one, I thought this would be the easiest one to squeeze into my busy schedule of reading comic books uh... important business. Yes, important sexy business. But liveblogging JoJo is pretty important and somewhat sexy in its own right, so let's begin, shall we?

The story opens on an ancient Aztec sacrificial ritual from sometime between the 16 and 12th centuries BCE. I don't want to spend a lot of time on that, since the main purpose of the scene is to showcase the weird, spooky mystery of the stone mask that appears throughout the story. For the first several chapters, it seems to be little more than a curiosity, but it quickly turns into something much more important.

We then jump to 1880, where Dario Brando is trying to talk to his son, Dio. Look at this. Just look at this. This is the very first time Dio has appeared in anything, anywhere, and he's flipping us all off. No one holds a book like that, Dio, you salty, salty bitch. You ain't slick.

What Dario wants to tell Dio is that he once "rescued" George Joestar back in 1868. I'm using quote marks here because what actually happened was that Dario and his wife discovered the Joestar family in a carriage wreck and tried to rob their corpses. But George was still alive, and he mistook Dario's actions as a kindness. This naivete pretty much defines George Joestar's whole character arc.

George's driver was killed in the wreck, and so was his wife, but their infant son, Jonathan survived. The anime implies that Jonathan's mom used her own body to protect Jonathan as best she could, but that isn't spelled out here. I guess that's kind of a given, though. I mean, she died and the baby lived, so what other interpretation could there be?

Anyway, George wanted to reward the Brando family, so he gave Dario a bunch of money, which he later used to start a hotel, but kind of blew it. But also, George promised to take care of Dario's son if anything ever happened to Dario. So now that he's dying, Dario tells Dio to go to the Joestar estate, where he can become a rich man.

Dio agrees to do this, but not out of any love or respect for his father. He hated Dario, mostly for being a failure who mistreated his mother, and he vows to become rich and powerful, but not for his father.

On the day Dio arrives at the estate, young Jonathan tries to rescue a doll for a girl named Erina. He doesn't know her, but he just happened to see bullies messing with her and chose to intervene. Jonathan gets his ass kicked, though. That doesnt' matter to him, though, because he considers himself a gentleman, and a true gentleman always has the courage to help those in need, even if he can't win. Especially if he can't win.

And this page might be the throughline of the entire JoJo series. I was watching some Hamon Beat videos a few weeks ago, and I was impressed with his response to the notion that Part 1 is "boring". Part 1 is literally the foundation of the entire series, and establishes all of the themes that run through the Parts that follow it. Sure, the 19th Century setting might be a little off-putting for some, and it takes a little while for the nutty super powers to kick in, but Hamon Beat makes a pretty strong argument. How much can someone really enjoy Stardust Crusaders or Diamond is Unbreakable if they hate Part 1?

Young Jonathan standing up for Erina--even when he doesn't know who she is, even when he's outnumbered-- is exactly the same thing that makes Jotaro advance towards Dio when he doesn't seem to have a chance of winning. It's the same thing that drove Josuke in his battle against Kira. Having preferences is fine. It's one thing to like Part 5 better because you liked the Stand powers or fashion choices more. But it's weird that people got into JoJo and seemed to completely miss the real heart of the story, so much so that they held the origin of it all with such contempt.

So Dio arrives to be adopted by George Joestar, and when Jonathan introduces himself, his dog Danny runs up and Dio knees him in the jaw. Keep in mind that Dio's whole agenda here is to play it cool and get in good with the family so he can score a huge inheritance. All he really has to do is behave for a few years until he's established himself, but he hates dogs, and he's too angry to hide it.

The family dynamic becomes pretty clear up front. Dio's main goal is to demoralize Jonathan any way he can. Presumably he wants to diminish Jonathan in the eyes of George, so that Dio will get the lion's share of the inheritance. And Jonathan is a little too nice for his own good, so he lets things slide in an attempt to get along. And George is still to naive to see Dio as anything but a perfect little gentleman.

For example, one night George scolds Jonathan for his table manners and sends him to bed before he can finish dinner. George points out Dio's impeccable table manners, which is... kind of ironic, considering what Dio will be doing for nutrition later on.

Anyway, the isolation really starts to get to Jonathan, and he wonders in a moment of teen angst if anyone will even miss him when he dies. This always gets to me, because Jonathan is part of this lineage of JoJo protagonists, but he's the very first one, and the second one won't show up for decades. Jonathan's the founder of this thing, but he has no way of knowing that, and it's a very lonely position to be in. If only he could know how dearly he'll be missed after he's gone, and how much his loss will mean to his descendants in the future. Maybe this is why I like Part 2 the best.

Oh, also this scene of him staring at the moon kind of reminds me of Jolyne looking at the moon in prison. But let's move on.

No, wait, let's not move on, because Jonathan's morbid thoughts lead him to notice the portrait of his dead mother that's mounted over his bed. Maybe that gives him some small comfort, the reassurance that if he misses her despite having no memory of her, then perhaps his life can mean something to others as well. Anyway, he forgot he had secret bedtime candy in his room, so he won't go to sleep hungry tonight.

But Jonathan's life still sucks. Dio quickly steals away all of Jonathan's friends by beating him at boxing with his superior fighting skills. Jonathan and his pals box for fun, but Dio grew up on the streets, so he knows all the tricks. He offers to teach the others, but warns them not to share his secrets with Jonathan, whom he says can't keep secrets.

This is sort of the basis of Dio's interpersonal skills. "Everyone wants to be friends with someone who is strong or will do something for them!" By making himself useful to the others, and making Jonathan appear weak and useless, Dio can ingratiate himself to the other boys, and isolate Jonathan further.

Later, George sees Dio checking out the Stone Mask and explains how he bought it at a yard sale in London the day of the carriage accident. Dio is curious about its value, its history, and the Aztec writings inside it, but he denies having any interest in the thing.

Meanwhile, Jonathan hits it off with Erina Pendelton, the girl he tried to help earlier in the story. They ride old-timey roller coasters and swim in old-timey swimsuits and so on.

Here's a panel of Erina chilling out with Danny that I thought was pretty cool.

But Dio quickly finds out about this, and decides to forcibly kiss Erina just to wreck what little happiness Jonathan has left.

You might have noticed by now that Dio is kind of an asshole. Again, this is the blueprint for every other villain in the franchise. Dio's already got a bright future ahead of him as an adopted son of George Joestar, but he wants more, and he believes he can increase his own fortune by oppressing others. Dio wants to dominate Jonathan, Kars wanted to dominate all of nature, Kira and Diavolo wanted to erase all evidence of their crimes to live as they pleased, and so on.

But it's not as easy as he likes to think. For all his cruel tactics and ruthless plotting, Erina can shut him down just by washing off her face with gutter water to show her contempt for him. Dio could just let this slide and appreciate how well his plan is working, but he can't. He knows he's being insulted, and he can't stand that. Deep down inside, he wants something that can't be reduced to a simple display of power. He can hurt and manipulate others but he can't make them love him.

For a while, Jonathan isn't aware of this incident between Dio and Erina, because Erina is too ashamed to go near him or tell him. But Jonathan still has Danny. George tells Dio about Danny's backstory. As a pup, Danny was timid, so Jonathan use to tease him and throw rocks at him and stuff. But then Jonathan was drowning in a river, and no one was there to help him, except Danny, who dove in and pulled him to safety like a good boy.

The moral of Danny is that he had no reason to repay Jonathan's cruelty with loyalty, but he did it anyway, and after that they became good friends, with Jonathan never giving him orders. The bond between them was more like that of trusted friends.

Of course, Dio can't understand any of this. He just sees Danny as another vulnerability of Jonathan's to exploit. It's possible, though, that Dio envies what Jonathan and Danny have together, and he can't have that for himself because the concept is so alien to him...

Later, Jonathan finally finds out about what Dio did to Erina, and he confronts Dio immediately. Dio kicks his ass again, but this time Jonathan refuses to back down. He knows if he loses this fight, he'll never escape Dio's shadow, so he knuckles up and...

BAM! PART 1 IS BORING? BITCH WHERE?

YEAH FUCK HIM UP JONATHAN! FUCK HIM UP!

So as they fight, some of Dio's blood splashes onto the Stone Mask, and it falls off the wall, then a bunch of claws come out of it, as though triggered by the blood. This distracts Jonathan, but not for very long.

Dio actually cries, although I suspect this was just a diversion so he could pull a knife, but before he can escalate things, George shows up and scolds them both for fighting in the house. Being George, though, he leans harder on Jonathan for beating Dio excessively. Dammit, George...

Dio retaliates by locking Danny into the incinerator, and the next time one of the servants uses it, he discovers Danny burning alive. I'm pretty sure the anime didn't show Danny getting out of the incinerator, so here you go.

Jonathan comes home to find out Danny's dead, and he knows Dio did it but he can't prove it or start another fight, so he just goes to bed and has a depression nap. As for Dio...

He finally does enough self-reflection to realize that he's overplaying his hand. Dio's plan is to play the long game and win the Joestar estate, but he underestimated Jonathan's righteous fury and pushed him too far. If he tries any more shenanigans, it might wreck everything, so he resolves to dial it back for a while.

Meanwhile the Stone Mask... uh... doesn't do anything. Patience, folks...

[mersei47]

Marble Hornets - Amsterdam: Thought Process

so I already told everyone that amsterdam is my favorite song but I also chose this song because the lyrics are very appealing to tim's situation

When I listened to this song I personally thing it's about people with depression or people that disappoint in their way of life

in these frames I portrayed tim's past when he was just a child and that his mom, Janet, had to admit him to hospital because of his mental illness reason. I like to think tim originally had this symptoms and operator just making it worst later when tim starting seeing it (I dont think there's no clear detail if tim get this symptom because of it or not but it clearly affect tim later on)

these 2 frames I purposely made it to seem like a 2 different side of tim. the first is when tim has grew up. He received proper medication and therapy later on. He thought that he's getting better but the operator just won't let him go. as you can see in second pic (I refer the operator as tinman, when I heard of tinman word I thought of these words: emotionless, unmovable, cruel)

I represent the woods as the more he gets involved in this story, the lesser chance he has of getting out of this alive or chance of going back to normal

the black backgrounds part is to show both amy and alex's fates. the alex one means that even if alex tried to hide/run away from the operator or (paper getting torn apart) the operator still there and won't stop haunting him (paper pieces got taped back and blood part refer to when alex decided to kill (or lie to) his friends so that "the operator sickness" won't spread further)

the sea part match with lyric part "congratulation, you are all alone" in totheark font (hoody mocking alex). even thought I barely show hoody in any frames in comic, i tried to show his perspective to situation by using totheark fonts in it

I like to play with colors contrasting each others

I interpret the lyrics "rain wont fall on us, sun won't shine on us" as, not everyone got what they want or have the ending they decided for. Hoody tried very hard to fix things (even if some of it is not really pleasant way of helping) that he gave up brian persona, he still died. I also interpret the sun part as even if it seems like thing might actually getting better or think that the story might actually end in a good way. Jay is still died. even if Jay finally start to get help like Tim wanted, he still died

the "I wouldn't have it any other way" meant that even if tim tried to tell alex that he can help him, alex still believe in his own belief. so it leave tim no other choice

"your time will come" part I used the same pattern as jay's frame. because it's jay that wanted to help jessica but now that jay died now tim got to continue what jay left

I used skully symbol because its totheark caption matched with tim's situation like, "so much more than time has been taken" pretty much sum up it all and implying that skully is still out there

I forgot to write in image but the second frame where tim driving out of Alabama you can see that the woods at first is very thick then it started to fade away

yeah the camera part I had to trace from sony manual book. and about jay's jacket, after jay gone tim probably still had his stuff? don't know what he gonna do with it but I dont think he gonna threw them away

"cause these walls they're crashing down" this part I interpret as the whole "marble hornets" thing is no longer relevant anymore

and that's all! thanks for reading I'm very happy how it turned out so I hope you enjoyed this as I do too

[bodyalive]

The Consciousness of the Heart

I am a big fan of public television mysteries, especially those made in Europe. Good acting, intricate plots. So here’s a summary of a French mystery I just saw:

A woman gets a heart transplant and immediately begins having nightmares involving the heart donor and her own teenaged daughter, whom the woman and her husband had adopted at birth. Turns out the heart donor was a young woman who died in a car crash, but the nightmares indicate to the woman that the girl’s death was not an accident.

She meets the adoptive father of the young woman; he too believes his daughter’s death was no accident; so they team up to find out what really happened; her teenaged daughter gets pulled into this detective work too.

We find out that both daughters had issues about being loved related to being adopted. Lots of twists and turns in the story due to this, after which...the new heart comes close to failing. But, seeing her mom so sick, the teenaged daughter realizes how much she loves her mother. The young woman’s father becomes aware of how he tried to push his daughter into a career in medicine (his career) rather than letting her be the singer/musician she wanted to be.

In the only way that he can communicate with her now, the father places his hand on the woman’s chest above his daughter’s heart, and, speaking to his beloved deceased child, apologizes to her heart for his lack of awareness of her needs when she was alive.

You can guess the rest: The transplanted heart settles down, the woman gets better, the teenaged daughter gets over her own anxieties —and by the way, they catch the man who murdered the daughter by forcing her car to crash.

Well, it was way better than it sounds.

But here’s what really caught me—that scene where the dad talks to the heart of his daughter. As if the heart carries its own consciousness and he was able to communicate with it.

Even more than European mystery dramas, I love stories about consciousness-- there’s a literary conceit that involves a body part being transplanted into another person and taking control of the hapless recipient—say, someone gets a hand transplanted from an executed criminal and the hand takes over to steal or murder –sinister stories, even tales of horror.

An alien consciousness inside one’s own self. We are familiar with this theme. And part of what makes these stories work is the notion of the implied consciousness of the body part, the power of the body part, for example, of a hand that has its own mind.

In our age, we are used to the notion that consciousness dwells in the brain, we don’t find that strange at all. But many peoples have believed that consciousness dwelt as well in the heart. The heart responds by quickening, by aching, by urging action, or by relaxing into peacefulness. It rises up to greet its love; it sinks into despair. It feels. It seems conscious. Now we can trace the complex biological directives that guide the heart’s functioning, the chemicals and mechanisms that control it. But still, subjectively, the heart feels.

We have a complicated relationship with our hearts from this perspective. The heart as a conscious part of us that may have inconvenient feelings. It is in a sense an alien consciousness within us. I am speaking of course of emotions. And how we can harden our hearts, turn against tender feelings, deny that affective link. I’ve done it and I bet you have, too. Other emotions are there to step in—rage, fear, greed, lust.

Dr. King said he could not figure out how to reconcile the contradictions in humans (we can be so good and also so evil) until he recognized the power of love, which must be our guide.

I had a hateful spell the other day. I was, as my mother cautioned me against in the past, “being ugly.” Judging somebody harshly. Thinking about a situation that had come up that was not gonna be easy to resolve with some other people. Money was involved, of course. Odd how that often happens.

Several of us talked together, trying to come up with a solution. Someone suggested a generous resolution and then someone else countered with another generous perspective. That night, in bed, I lay there imagining how this conflict could maybe turn out to be a victory for love. I crossed my hands over my chest, above my heart, and breathed.

[Lynne McFarland]

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

~*~

1. Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read on AO3, I don’t remember anything really more than that there was some kind of big entity in a town which noone but Wei Ying could see? The other character’s would be like ”nothing is wrong with this town :-)”. Thankful for help! Have a nice day and thank you for your work <3

#1, can u ask the requestor is Wei ying lived at the edge of the woods/forest ??

FOUND! Not What We May Be by brooklinegirl (E, 29k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Mutual Pining, Bedsharing, casefic, Hurt/Comfort) though its not only wwx who sees it. Great fic.

~*~

2. Hello! I'm trying to find a fic where LWJ was cursed/blessed by his mom with a truth spell for LWJ's safety? It's not really the typical, your average "I speak the truth" one, but it's how LWJ can hear lies in the form of sounds that only he can hear! If i remember correctly, LXC knows about it and asked NMJ (blunt truths) and NHS (white lies) to help him control it. There's also scenes where he's stumped because WWX almost always speak the truth (thus making no lie detector sound for LWJ — which boggles him so much because no one always speak the whole truths even in CR — except the couple of times when he was speaking about his time in Lotus Pier). Thank you! (I'm pretty sure this is a fic by @i-like-plan-m but I can't remember the name rn 😅 - Mod C)

FOUND! in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 48k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad, WIP) this one perhaps?

~*~

3. hi i’ve been looking for a fic that i read a while ago but can’t remember what it’s called. Basically WWX is hired by LWJ for company/sex and he’s kinda like a sugar baby and stays at his house a lot. LWJ is a rich lan and both end up having feelings for eachother but bc LWJ started basically as WWXs client of sorts there’s some confusion. I remember at one point WWX gets sick and lets LWJ come to his house which he usually wouldn’t do with past clients and LWJ helps him shower and there’s a line where he talks abt the intimacy of letting LWJ wash his crotch (pretty sure he lives w wen qing) Then i think LWJ takes WWX to like new york or something on a work trip

these were the only things i could remember lol @st3wartladle​

FOUND? The Sugar Daddy AU Series by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 106k, wangxian, modern, sugar daddy, sex work, dom/sub, aftercare, semi-public sex, exhibitionism, bondage, boundary setting, relationship negotiation) specifically the first part A Sure Thing

~*~

4. Hi! For the fic finder, two fics I enjoyed but apparently failed to bookmark, and now cannot find back...

A) Complete, medium length: Lan Zhan steps into the path of Wen Zhuliu coming for Wei Ying, loses his golden core. Afterwards, he tells no one but goes into seclusion. WWX is fine, and eventually comes to visit in Gusu. LWJ is reclusive as he is not a cultivator anymore (so he grows old faster than WWX), but they still build a connection. No solution for the golden core, just dealing with the new facts of life for LWJ, and building back some hope.

B) Similar in vibes, also complete: WWX travels to an alternative universe, where JC died and WWX is somehow the Jiang Sect Leader. He meets LWJ at a conference. The new universes' WWX was not friends with LWJ. LWJ's leg was still broken after the Wen Indoctrination and never healed, so LWJ is wheelchair bound (pushed by Jingyi). WWX builds up a friendship with LWJ but I think in the end he goes back to his own universe. This one sounds like that one fic where the theme was something like 'be careful what you wish for', iirc WWX wanted to see either his parents or JYL alive 🤔 ~Mod L

Any help would be much appreciated! As well as any other dimension travel recs anyone has. Thanks again for this wonderful blog! @vasterthanempires

I found 4A myself! It was love some littler things by shipyrds

4B remains elusive, although the comments so far seem to refer to the same fic. still looking for it!

4A)

FOUND! love some littler things by shipyrds (G, 17k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, LWJ Loses His Golden Core, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Disability)

4B I have read but also cannot recall! Additional details, it was an alternate dimension talisman WWX created, and when he leaves any changes he might have cause are erased but somehow wheelchair!LZ starts an actual friendship with local!WWX? not sure if it was a bonus chapter or an endnote but I recall I was happy that it was a hair ending for both sets...

4B)

FOUND? empty as the sky by incendir (T, 23k, wangxian, JYL & WWX, CSSR & WWX, be careful what you wish for)

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5. Howdy fine folks of the internet! I'm looking for a Twitter thread fic that disappeared from my bookmarks during some twitter turmoil, if any of yall can help. It was a modern au where wwx got kicked out of the Jiang home and stayed in a shed on school property while using the school showers and eating leftovers from the cafeteria overnight, until lqr, lxc, and nmj catch him. It had some really great depictions of panic attacks and I want back. Thanks

FOUND! Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 16k, wangxian, modern, high school au, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced homophobia, coming out, not Jiang family friendly, supportive LQR, good sibling LXC, fluff, angst w happy ending, WIP)

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6. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where lan xichen had harsh realization of his wrong doing by supporting jin guangyao. (If this is actually an Itmf let me know and I will move it - Mod C)

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7. Hi, I've been trying to find this wangxian fic so badly. Like canon divergence lan xichen notices that wei ying likes lan zhan during cloud reases arc and starts convincing his teachers to change their style for him and his ADHD Genius and teach him about his own self worth so as to steal him away from Jiang sect. Like Jiang chan has an argument where Wei Ying finally stands up to him and it's so good. Think its ABO, dont remember. Please help

FOUND? might be 💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting) although it's FoxWWX and DragonLans not A/B/O

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8. Hello <3 I'm looking for a modern AU fic where Lan Wangji contracts Mo Xuanyu as a companion for the night but mistakes him for Wei Wuxian in the hotel they would meet up. So they spend the whole night together and the chemistry is off the charts until Mo Xuanyu sends him a message later (or in the morning after, I can't exactly remember) saying that he never showed up. Lan Wangji tells Wei Wuxian about the misunderstanding and Wei Ying, who was thrilled with his attention, gets pretty hurt and they end things pretty tense. I remember that it's the anniversary of the passing of his mother or her anniversary, and Lan Wangji didn't want to spend it alone. After he explains that to Wei Ying, they try giving their date another chance. That's all I remember for sure that happens, I hope these details are enough!

FOUND! Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)  

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9. I need help on finding a fic. It's about how wei wuxian created his own sect from a past syndicate movements, he transformed it into a merchant/shops/silk road or something similar. He never went with the jiangs or any sects. When he was still on the streets he got betrayed by an "esteemed" cultivator because of false accusations (vendor told the cultivator that he caught wei wuxian stealing from him, but in actuality wei wuxian was at the wrong place at the wrong time), it was another kid that stole a toy from a merchant, if I'm not wrong. He was also a part of an illegal underground fights where he "won the bet" against the strongest fighter. He's also claimed by wen qing to be the killer of a murder because the only one who knows around needles is herself, and she met wei wuxian and taught him the arts of needles. There's also a wei wuxian - xue yang connection by said syndicate because the chang sect was a part of it.

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10. hi! i was wondering if you could help me find this one fanfic that i can't for the love of me remember at all!!!

the details are a bit hazy, but basically burial mounds era something happens that fucks up wei wuxian mentally and physically and he starts dreaming about things in the future,,,, meanwhile the whole jianghu is plunged into chaos with disasters and that one specific bird thing.

i think there was one time wei wuxian did a "no shit serlock!" joke but then said "oh wait, wrong timeline."

FOUND? To Ride A Stygian Tiger by Madyamisam (M, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Angst with a happy ending, BAMF WWX, Dark LWJ, Slow burn, Family Feels, Misunderstandings)

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11. hwoooooo! :D back at it again with the asks, thank you so much for your services to the community!

im looking for a time travel fic for my bff!

it's in Lwj's pov in which he dreams about an older version of him, who tells him to treat wei ying kindly, and how the future lwj's world is completely frozen as a result of his sacrifice in order to safe a different timeline.

Future Lwj gets a happy ending in the last chapter!

FOUND? 💖 Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed T, 29k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, fluff, nostalgia, mild angst w/ happy ending)

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12. hi! i'm looking for a fic where there was quarantine and wangxian went to stay at the family house (it was so big like a mansion or an apartment i don't really remember).

remember a scene where jingyi was having a panic attack (?) and wei ying came to calm him down. they were at the balcony. i think they were adopting jingyi.

i don't know if it is finished or deleted.

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13. hello!! i hope y’all are doing well ☺️ the fic I’m looking for was definitely on ao3 but idk if it got deleted or I just can’t find it again but here’s what I remember

1) Wei wuxian died taking the arrows to save jin zixuan’s life. Initially people celebrated until the (sentient) burial mounds retaliated and destroyed most of the jin sect and people started panicking and trying to bring back wwx (jin zixuan, jin ling, and Jiang yanli all live)

2) parts of Wei wuxian’s diary was scattered amongst the cultivation world and Jin ling buys the pages and develops a sort of parasocial relationship w his dead uncle who he idolizes based on the image he creates of him thru wwx’s writing

3) i think one of the latest updates (it wasn’t finished when I read it) is wwx coming back as Mo xuanyu and running into jin ling and jiang cheng who recognize him.

Im pretty sure the wens are alive as well (not 100% tho). If this rings any bells please let me know - I’ve seriously looked for this for a solid couple of weeks and I loved it a lot 😭 thank you!! 💓

FOUND? To Be Named by Suibian_613 (T, 18k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, WQ is out of character, Everyone is probably ooc, canonical violence, Canonical Character Death, Somewhat Sentient Burial Mounds)

FOUND? I shall pay for all your sorrows by MidnightLightHowlite (G, 3k, JZX & WWX, XuanLi, angst with bitter ending)

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14. A fanfic where Wei Wuxian is found by Lan Qiren as he saves him from something and then faints. It’s a modern AU, Lan Qiren takes him to the hospital and later they learn that he has fits and he becomes a teacher at the school. Lan Zhan and he marries later on and adopts Wen Yuan from an orphanage run by Wen Qing and Wen Ning. @hebbbb

FOUND? Against Entropy by Duochanfan (M, 40k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, of an underaged character, Amnesia, Drama, Romance, Family Feels, Hurt WWX, Older JC, Homelessness, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective LXC, Supportive LXC, Protective NMJ, Supportive LQR)

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15. Hi I want to ask is there a wangxian fanfiction where lan zhan is a prince and wei wuxian is a huli jing and becomes his consort by forced marriage but instead wei ying is against this loveless marriage and so everytime they sleep it's always hate s£× until he gets preg and gives birth to a yuan and tries his best to give him love until he dies protecting a yuan from a wen attack and that day he realises wangji actually loved him dies and gets reincarnated and tries to fix things @random-online-reader

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16. Hi there! I am looking for a fic that takes place during the war against the wens and mo xuanyu does the self sacrifice to summon wwx who is thought to project himself as his original form, but (SPOILERS) he is immortal and lwj is the reincarnation of his lover. Baoshan Sanren also makes an appearance after the last stand against wen ruohan

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline)

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17. Hello, can you help me find a fic?

Generally, all I remember was that WWX went back to the past (Studying at GusuLan Arc) after dying during the Burial Mound Siege. He was so traumatized over it that he has decided he does not want anything to do with the cultivation world anymore. His personality changed (from cheerful to downright depressed, from lively to soulless) so much that everyone began to notice and wondered what was up.

However, I remember a scene which pushed him to flee Gusu. He was walking and listening as NHS talked and talked trying to get him back to his old personality. They met NMJ on the way. WWX on pilot mode said that he (NMJ) has heart demons and without ado removed the resentful energy lingering inside NMJ. This shocked the Nie brothers, the Twin jades and JC (the latter two having just arrived and witnessed WWX manipulating resentful energy).

WWX obviously panicked, packed his belongings and flees from GusuLan because he thought they would kill him again due to his manipulation of resentful energy.

Please help me find this fic. I've been searching the web for weeks. Sadly, my browser history was disabled at that time and I don't remember the title. @heratheslytherinqueen

FOUND? Possible Works 2 - Numb by Hauntcats (M, 6k, wangxian, angst w happy ending, unhappy WWX, time travel fix-it)

FOUND? Without end by barisan (M, 70k, wangxian, major character death, time travel, suicide attempt, hurt/comfort, depressed WWX, protective LWJ, good uncle LQR, bad parents JFM & YZY, not YZY & JFM & Jiang friendly, implied/referenced child abuse & self harm, BAMF WWX, WIP)

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18. So there was this fic in which wei wuxian modified nei huaisang's fan or something like that so it can be used as a weapon while in CR and also at some point nmj wrote a letter thanking him and asking him what he would like as payment but wwx replied that it was a gift for a friend

I don't think this was a major plot point of the story though. Thanks

FOUND? Eyes Wide Shut by Netrixie (T, 65k, LXC/NMJ, wangxian, canon divergence, no sunshot, everyone lives au, enemies to friends to lovers, identity porn, mistaken identity, misunderstanding, slow burn) when I read that I immediately thought of this fic just bc it sounds so similar, but it's lxc that gives nhs the fan, and nmj gets mad at lxc for it. and also it's nielan. maybe this is what you're looking for?

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19. Hi again! I'm in need of help for finding a fic that I forgot to bookmark AGAIN🥹

How i remember it, It's how WWX died and get "resurrected" as a ghost thing by another character (could be Hua Cheng, could be Luo Binghe idk they definitely wore robes with the color red and black lol). So WWX started chatting with his "savior" and they told him that he can grow powerful by eating other demons in the BM(?) But as he grew powerful, he also shapeshifted as a white tiger for a while because he needs to hunt to maintain his human form, and by doing so he needs a lot of demon meat so he needs to catch food with his tiger form a lot (I'm kinda confusing myself if WWX started as a tiger from beginning or not, but it definitely involves him as a ghost/tiger!)

Other details that I kinda remember: 1) he re-introduced himself to the cultivation world as "Wei Wuqian" or something similar, he thought it was funny 2) nearby people who lived around the place WWX would hunt depicted him as a guardian/god and would gift him some spicy meat as prayers 3) said people would defend him when cultivators were trying to hunt this weirdly nice, babysitting as a secondary job, only likes his meat spicy tiger kitty that they call "evil spirit, dangerous and needs to be gone" 4) I think he has white hair but can change to black, it could be somewhat glowing hair but I'm not sure about this detail 5) LWJ definitely tried the "give big kitty spice and he'll play nice" trick he got from the village people to see if it was a malevolent ghost or not 6) tiger!WWX had been written eating a corpse in the fic at least once

FOUND? Wuqian, the Local God of Yiling by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (M, 77k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, major character death, canon divergence, angst w/ happy ending, god WWX, Chinese mythology & folklore, pining, temporary character death, WIP)

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20. Hi, I'm looking for the the story I've read before. I think it's about Wuxian are cursed to feel pain each time Jiang Wanyin close to him at Cloud recesses. It's kinda Jiang Wanyin bashing. I think Wei Wuxian took the cursed meant for Lan Wangji.

FOUND? I’ll Take the Path of Thorns by Admiranda (G, 6k, wangxian, cloud recesses study era, curses, not JC friendly, clever WWX, baby wangxian)

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[suffarustuffaru]

Hello not so local character analyst may i ask you on your opinion on roswaals and beatrices relationship? Imagine finding out your homie has been chilling by your side all along when you thought theyve been dead for centuries

yo YO hello!! :O ok it took me a while to answer this bc i was like "man i want to think on this..." and then i ended up rewatching at Least one and a half season two episodes. (i DO actually like the english dub of rezero for the most part okay...... sue me... HAH)

but okay!!! beatrice and roswaal are characters that i feel like i dont know as well. but i adore both of them for the depth they have - i mean to this day i still feel like i dont 100% understand roswaal (i will eventually i swear. gotta get through all those side stories ljslfj) though i enjoy the absolute duality he has hah between showing he does care for others (LIKE BEATRICE.) vs um. insert all of arc 4 and all the body hopping bc that shit is insane for sure. but as for beatrice and roswaal specifically you put it super well - "Imagine finding out your homie has been chilling by your side all along when you thought theyve been dead for centuries". thats a HILARIOUS way of putting it lajsdlfjs but its true!!!

beatrice in the beginning of her story Basically has this little family with echidna and ryuzu and roswaal—echidna is her mother of course, and ryuzu and roswaal are almost like her siblings. roswaal though—because he has this. Odd relationship with echidna (because shes his tutor and she acts motherly towards him too but also Romantically. its. yeah we all know how messy that is), youd think roswaal and beatrices relationship would skew a little odd, but with what little screentime they have in their early days, ros and beatrice act pretty comfortable with each other? like you could easily compare it to subaru and beatrice—ros likes to tease her and shes a tsundere about it, but theres a clear fondness there!! it really gives off the energy that ros is like beatrice’s big brother? but you know. it doesnt Exactly last because of everything that goes down at sanctuary and in one fell swoop, beatrice essentially loses her three closest companions—ryuzu and ros and echidna—and, as we know, she goes to the forbidden library to wait for “that person”.

its a sad beginning to a story. beatrice thinks shes lost the people shes been closest with, and the people she essentially looks up to. with her personality and the fact that echidna is her mom, she was Absolutely the baby of the group. now shes stuck in a limbo almost, of Waiting. Alone. but—you know, ros starts doing his body hopping thing. and theres a certain detail about this that gets to me, which is—ros Definitely visited beatrice. over and over again. ros’s character wiki says that hes read every book in the forbidden library which. makes sense. he wants knowledge, his dear teacher loved knowledge, theres a convenient library right there connected to his dear teacher thats just in his house, etc etc—but the fact that hes read Every book in that library implies visiting the library Repeatedly.

because ros still stays fond of beatrice over the years— even as beatrice has grown increasingly closed off and abrasive bc of the situation with That Person shes waiting for, it seems like for ros he still sees her as the person he knew then, too. this is Probably added to with the fact that beatrice is an immortal spirit that looks the same no matter how much things change around her, but ros Still continues to think of her fondly time and time again. i think its similar to how he thinks of his teacher and how he wants to bring back the Original. he doesnt want her copies, he wants the person she was when she was alive—the person he remembers. and he remembers beatrice as the person she was when he was in his original body, i think. sweet and well meaning even if she pretends not to be.

for beatrice though—YEAH she thinks ros is dead. long dead, once time passes, and shes just seeing roswaal’s descendants pop up over and over again. its Gotta be haunting, knowing your dear friend is dead and has been for a while, but his children keep returning to visit and they all look like him. they all have his name. they all sound so similar and im Sure that they even act like theyre a little familiar with her. im sure that for beatrice its like seeing a Very Insistent ghost—and she most likely acts aloof with all of roswaal’s incarnations bc the emotions that would bring up would be a bit T^T overwhelming, probably. we see her act distant with roswaal through arc 2, for example—shes likely acting this way bc of 1. the aforementioned Haunting feeling of seeing your dead friend’s descendants and being So Close to your friend yet so far and 2. being distant with said descendants probably makes it less painful bc—no pesky emotional attachment when theyll be eventually replaced by another ros and 3. beatrice thinks these are all different people each time. as much as they look and sound and act like HER roswaal, theyre not her roswaal. so, in a way, both her and roswaal focus on “the original”… ros wants the original echidna. beatrice wants the original roswaal, not any of his descendants.

and another thing thats interesting is that when roswaal reveals the body hopping to beatrice at the end of arc 4–that he IS the original roswaal she knew—beatrice and roswaal look at each other and finally reunite and the anime specifically emphasizes it with this:

as you may already be familiar with, the anime uses this motif of characters looking at each other and Seeing the other person in their eyes to show that they TRULY see each other for who the other person is. and yes, of course ros sees beatrice because hes known her all this time for the past four hundred years. but beatrice? the reflection in her eye is roswaal’s original appearance, just as she remembered it. shes making the connection between her roswaal and all the other roswaals shes seen throughout her life and the fact that theyre all the Same Person. beatrice and ros foil a lot—beatrice looks the same, but shes undergone the drastic change of finally leaving the forbidden library. roswaal has tried to look the same over time, but hes also changed bodies and identities over time for his consistent goal of trying to bring back his teacher—beatrice’s mother. they have the similar weight of four hundred years of various Pains and seeing various people come and go and theyve both been Deeply affected by the same person (echidna of course) who has driven their actions for so long. theyre simultaneously older and younger than they look—beatrice still acts like the child she appears to be, but shes also simultaneously matured bc of her long lifespan and Suffering. roswaal, too, but hes still the same young man chasing after the woman who saved him physically and mentally. theyre two immortal characters who Now know that theyve been so near each other this whole time. even if beatrice didnt realize, ros was Right There. right near the forbidden library.

i think its interesting that its after 99% of arc 4 that ros chooses to tell beatrice that its always been him, the original ros, this whole time. im not entirely sure on Why roswaal waits until this moment, but i think its because now beatrice has left the forbidden library for good and shes Let Go of That Person. shes like a butterfly spreading her wings. and im sure with her distance towards roswaal’s various incarnations as well, she wasnt Exactly open to hearing roswaal out until Now. because now that shes a free and changed person and the two of them are finally seeing their echidna’s tomb, roswaal knows that she’ll hear him out now. he even talks to her about how she got out of the library too, and he iirc either assumes or asks if its bc subaru made beatrice his number one—but beatrice replies that no, thats not why. its bc she intends to make him her number one. which is something that roswaal can see and agree with bc echidna is his number one.

i think its also interesting that beatrice has ros kneel down so she can hit him, and bc ros has. an a bit of a Terrible image of himself and Knows hes done bad things, he assumes its bc of the terrible things hes done in both season 1 and 2. but beatrice replies that no its bc he burned down the forbidden library!! and i think its like. shes ultimately glad to have her dear friend back, and when you spend four hundred years with someone, thats a whole kind of Closeness of its own. and also just. she knows that roswaals lost already. but hah she had to get her bit of justice in for him destroying the library—bc even though she was mentally trapped in there waiting for That Person and wanting to die, it was still kind of her home. for four hundred years. and her mother was the one who put her there.

she also says later that ram has terrible taste in men which. HAH. well beatrice is aware shes been near ros for four hundred years and ros’s actions have hurt subaru especially, who beatrice is now close with. but i also really like that line bc its giving little sibling telling the person crushing on their sibling that they have shit taste akdndndn but no yeah beatrice is aware of roswaals misdeeds. shes aware about the damn body hopping. for crying out loud. but shes overlooking it a bit which is fascinating!!! not entirely sure why (could be just bc shes close with ros therefore she overlooks it near automatically bc of that) but i think the relief of my dear friend was here by my side all this time won out for sure!! we all know immortality is inherently lonely, and the inevitable loss that comes with life is Dialed Up bc of ur long lifespan, but now beatrice knows that she wasnt 100% alone.

roswaal was there for all those four hundred years. they are straight up the ONLY two people who can understand each other with their extremely specific shared history + immortality + complicated relationships with echidna parallels.

so. um. tldr: you know that trope of a character duo where one character is immortal and the other character keeps trying to find character 1 in each of their different lives/incarnations? HAH ros and beatrice are a weird version of that!!!

[dreamii-krybaby]

Season 1 trailer analysis,Along side Doll,Uzi,Nori,N and Mystery WD speculations:

Part 2

Note: parts of this were written before and after EP3! So some of my speculation changed! I’ll leave a tiny edit when my thoughts have changed! I’ll post soon my breakdown on EP3,which is highly connected to this post

Ok so something that I want to brought your attention to is Uzi’s string theory showed at the end of EP2.

Entire board

First thing we notice is the insane amount of AS symbols,this clearly shows Uzi developing an obsession with the AS. We can also see drawings,notes written by Uzi and newspapers.

Speaking of newspaper,they offer a lot.

The first one unfortunately no one was able to figure out what is saying but the next ones some were able to figure out.

This one contains the headline:

“STRANGE DRONES FOUND”

Now a lot of people think this has to do with the AS,which could be true but am leaning more of the discovery of the DDs that arrived at copper 9, AKA when J,V,N first landed on the exoplanet.

The reason why I think this is the case because it uses “DRONES” not “DRONE”.

It’s plural.

Now yes this could mean the AS manifested in multiple WDs but I personally think it leans more at the arrival of the DDs.

The second one is blurry as fuck but thankfully other people could figure it out, the headline say:

“GRAVITATIONAL FORCES DETECTED- SITE 48”

Gravitational forces you say,huh? Now this could perfectly be another way of saying telekinesis

And since we saw Doll,a WD with the AS who has telekinetic abilities. Could she had been the one behind the forces detected at site 48? We can’t discard anything.

Or could it be a random WD with the AS? Maybe one from a different colony?

Or what of there was a third option?

Ladies and Gentlemen and Non-Binary hoes:

Nori Doorman!

The is no doubt Nori is related to the SA and the DDs,Nori could have gotten infected,but since we don’t know a lot about her,or the details or her death or the timeline of events between;

Uzis creation,Noris death,the AS and the DDs.

Its a bit confusing to make a clear picture of what’s going on.

Regardless her scene in EP2 makes me think it’s implied she has the AS and perhaps even passed it down to her daughter.

As you can see one of her eyes glitches to the AS symbol but also does the visor screen of baby Uzi

[Edit after EP3: I now think Yeva was the one behind the G. Forces at site 48,since her ID card had the number “048” and am convinced that Nori passed the AS to Uzi. Same could be said about the idea of Yeva also passing it down to Doll. EP3 also answered my question on how Nori got infected,she was probably researching the AS or they experimented the AS on her or maybe a bit of both]

Another thing to mention is Nori’s scar? This was pointed out by @enigmaticmoonshine

Og post below:

Also another thing to mention,Nori was carrying baby Uzi,right? Well a detail I noticed is that baby uzi had the “UNTRAINED NEUTRAL NETWORK” sign on it,I think baby drones carry this when they are recently created,we also saw this sign in the pilot on another baby drone.

Despite this in Uzi’s family pic,found in Khan’s office,we can see baby Uzi,tho it’s unclear if she still had the sign ,as this can indicate if Nori was alive some time after Uzi was recently created (that can give us more or less a point in the timeline) but I can’t make it out since Khan is covering baby Uzi with his hand. Also Khan looks slightly younger as you can see less wrinkles.

Edit: After looking closely,yeah in the pick baby Uzi still has the sign,so unfortunately this doesn’t help a lot with the timeline. Also I might be wrong about the sign. Baby drone could carry it for the rest of their lives until they reach a certain age to pass their AI to a WDs body.

Edit: hey so there is this theory I found that says that Khan may be hiding a scar or wound under his sweater,as he is the only WD wearing one,and since Nori has a crack on her body,could this be connected? Could it be a scar Khan gained from a struggle between Nori? Or the DD that killed Nori? I didn’t know if to include this since unfortunately I cannot find the creator of this theory,and I wanna bring this theory up again in my future analyses. So if anyone knows the creator,let me know pls

Some people have mentioned that Nori could be this lil fella; The Mystery WD (but for now I’ll nickname her “R”,based on a theory made by @echologname )

I personally don’t think she is Nori or Doll,as they don’t seem to resemble her in my opinion

Also Doll is a highschooler (I speculate she and the other students are around 16-18 Y.O.) But nothing is confirmed) and the DD’s trio is heavily implied to be adults or straight up confirmed in Ns case (gonna talk about that in another post) after they arrived at Copper-9

And plus R doesn’t resemble a lot to Doll,as for Nori?Yeah the age can match up but not so much by physical appearance in my opinion

I actually did some drawings based on how she possibly looks! All of this is based off that one scene of her lol

What I could gather for her posible character desing is that:

1: She has silver hair like J,N and V

2: she has pastel yellow P. Color

3: Her hair is parted to the right

4: she has 2 bangs ending with ties (tho in my drawing instead of ties they are bows)

5: she has a tight low ponytail

6: She has a big bow on her left side,resembling that to Tessa’s (James’s Daughter) look,since Tessa also wore a big bow on her left side.

So remember how I mentioned her P. Color is pastel yellow? The same as the DDs P. Color?

And did you notice how in J’s,V’s and N’s past as WDs had a white P. Color???

DO

YOU

SEE

THE

CONNECTION

PEOPLE?!?!?

THE AS,THE DDs,THE ALPHABET TRIO,THIS MYSTERY HOE,THE COLORS

Also look at Ns reaction upon her arrival,he is terrified of her.

I personally think R could be the AS origin,since it’s implied that Tessa saved her from a dump and brought her to the mansion,and there is theory going around; that James could be the head of the company (bc James starts with “J” and you know,the company is called JCJenson) tho despite I think this is plausible,I feel like he could simply be an important unit to the company,not necessarily being the head of it. Or he became the head of the company way later.

I feel like after R was brought,something horrible definitely happened,because of R,the AS was discovered and thats how the DDs came to be.

[Edit after EP3: its practically impossible for Doll to be R,and also the episodes just makes my idea of R being some sort of “patient 0”. Or the idea I had of the people experimenting on WDs and the AS makes me go brrr]

Also am I the only one who got sus vibes from N in EP2? The guy acted if he knew more than he lets on,like when Uzi asked him how he regrew his head back in the pilot,but he simply brushed it off. How he just vanished in the middle of the fight against Eldritch J

And going back to Nori for a lil bit,do you guys remember what the AS said using Nori’s hologram?

“It hurts our feelings you don’t remember us”

Of course this line could be directed to Uzi to toy with her feelings,kinda saying like “Its hurts me that you don’t remember me,your own mother” Or the AS could be saying it as in “It hurts that you didn’t realize we are a part of you now” (or perhaps the AS was in Uzi since she was an infant)

[Edit after EP3: again am 99.9% sure Uzi’s AS had it since she was created,since Nori passed it down to her]

But of courses my stupid brain also realized this could be directed to N, you know going like “like we are literally inside of you dumbass” or like “Don’t you remember our existence? Your past?”

A lil funny idea I had what if R is the AS??? Like the program talking and controlling Eldritch J? But thats just a crack idea

I also have more ideas going on about N,J,Eldritch J and Nori but that will be for my EP3 post! (Tho its about the whole possibility of N being the one killed Nori,but honestly even am not the biggest fan of that theory)

Anyways byeeeee