#he probably felt some kind of pressure to make money. and probably felt that he'd need to do things like READ

[kissingarthurclaus]

TF2 actually has been on my mind for a couple days and I'm just thinking about my boys 🥺🥺💖💖 I've mentioned before how my self insert and Scout seem to share a talent for art and that'd be something they bonded over growing up. They probably had a secret spot away from the rest of their brothers where they hid snacks and just drew and talked...

[seajelllies]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝟐 ♡︎ not quite, sweetheart masterlist ✎ roll call 1 ✎ roll call 2

"Don't get mad-"

"Every time you say that, my blood pressure rises."

He let out a long nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly before clearing his throat. "I kind of uha, have to pick up some things for a project in one of my classes."

"Yuji," You frown, lifting your head from the textbook you've been staring so deeply at he swore you'd burn a hole in it someday. "You were the one who told me to come over to help you."

"I know I know, I'm sorry, I'll be quick, really." He mumbles apologetically. He felt bad, really, and you could tell from the way he kept his eye contact.

You look at the time on your phone for a second before glancing back at him with a sigh. It wouldn't hurt to just stay put for a bit anyways, since he bought you food and all. If anything, you could just continue studying on your own with less distractions anyways- you weren't the one losing any time.

"Yeah, sure that's fine-"

"Thank you! You're the best! I'll be back, I swear!" And before you could even fully finish your sentence he bolted out of the door, and you could hear someone yelp in the hallway- probably bumping into him in the process. You almost forgot he used to do track in high school- surely you wouldn't be waiting for long.

You let out a soft snort, shaking your head with a sigh.

The first thing Sukuna did when he opened the door, was grumble to himself, running his hand through his hair in frustration. Attending classes was annoying, even more so after he already stays behind at his job for 2 hours longer than he should have.

'I should just fucking quit.' His eye twitches at the thought- very tempting, but quitting meant no money. No money meant no classes. No classes meant no potential decent job. No potential decent job meant he was going to be stuck selling drugs again- which he'd much prefer.

But he can't subject Yuji to that kind of association. Detrimental to his future, or whatever he told himself to justify not taking the easy way out.

As he makes his way into the room, there's 3 things wrong.

One. Yuji's bag and jacket are here, but not Yuji. Sure, those two things don't always need to follow him wherever he goes, but he's gotten used to him just lazing around by the time he gets back.

Two. There's another bag next to his. Unfamiliar, just like the shoes that definitely do not belong to his brother sitting neatly at the doorway. Yuji doesn't tend to invite people over, he usually goes to hang out at Kugisaki or even Fushiguro's dorm.

Three. There's a stranger quite literally sitting at their shared table, head in their arms. He can only assume they fell asleep, because he was almost sure they'd turn around the second the door opens if they weren't. Who just falls asleep in someone elses dorm?

Especially on a table that he can't remember the last time was properly cleaned.

He walks closer, frowning as he shoves his hand in the pockets of his jacket. His eyes glanced down at them as he peered over their shoulder, trying to gauge how asleep they were.

"Oi." He sounded irritated and tired- mostly because he actually was, eye twitching at the unfamiliar guest that seemed to be quite comfortable just falling asleep here.

"Brat, wake up." He scoffs, kicking the leg of the chair lightly, hoping it would stir them awake. But it doesn't and their head stays still, the only sign of them even being alive was their body moving up and down from breathing.

"You've got to be joking." He groans, snapping in front of their head, trying to get them to wake up without simply throwing them off the chair. Calm. Calm. Calm. He had to stay calm, he can not cause another issue and risk getting expelled.

He was too tired for this.

He fights the urge to throw his phone at the wall, exasperated sigh leaving his lips again, his scowl deepening when he notices them adjusting slightly, their arms shifting so he could slightly see their face.

His eyes glance down at them, and he plops into the seat next to theirs, elbow leaning on the desk with his chin resting on his hand with an irritated frown.

How someone could look so peaceful sleeping in someone elses room, he would never understand. Especially a dorm with two college guys- were they stupid? Or maybe they really were exhausted, like Yuji said.

Strands of their hair fall onto their eyes, and he reaches out to move it before he catches himself.

He lets out another grunt, eye twitching when he realizes he was staring too closely at a random stranger, and he moves back, leaning against the back of the shitty chair- hands shoved back into his jacket.

But the feeling of the hair in their eyes seems to wake them up, lashes fluttering slowly as they blink to adjust to the sudden light. They seem to realize they aren't alone, rubbing their sleepy eyes as they turn to glance at him.

"Yuji?" Their voice was quiet, and clearly very exhausted. Hair still slightly in their face, eyes blinking in his direction in confusion

Cute. Almost.

"Not quite, sweetheart."

𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔!

︾ There was more writing than there were screenshots even though I told myself there wasn't gonna be as much writing to save myself the pain of thinking 🧍‍♀️ ;;sobbing

︾ Anyways I changed the title from what it was going to be originally and move it to chapter 3 because I feel like it'd fit better there! anyways grumpy sukuna is silly, he's so >:( but he'll warm up soon. probably. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

︾ ik i already said this was fem/afab!reader but my dumbass brain kept writing they/them/their and i didn't realize till i got to the end. im sorry 😔

𝑹𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍! the taglist

@sweetteez

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 [𝐋𝐮𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐚]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

If you want to support me and read my other works that won't be on Tumblr, you can always do it on my Boosty~

Part 2

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Pairings: uncle!Luocha x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, modern AU, sexual tension, a hint of incest.

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. Ado - Tot Musica

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

— Behave yourself and obey your uncle!

— You should thank him that we don't have to spend money on your check-ups!

You were never very healthy as a child, so you heard this from your mother quite often. Perhaps it must have been a shame that your parents were economising on your health, but you never minded your uncle's company. Luocha is a rather nice man, who accompanied you on your journey to adulthood from an early age, even when he was still just a medical student himself, but still found time to look after you.

Now you remember those times with some warmth, but also with a heavy weight on your heart. The pressure your parents put on you was alleviated by Luocha's care and kindness, but somehow you still felt indebted to your uncle. He helps you for free, sometimes even giving you the medicine you need without asking for anything in return. Looking at the relationships in the families of your friends and acquaintances, you began to come to the conclusion that mutual help among relatives — this is quite normal, but still couldn't help but feel gratitude and desire to do something for Luocha when you get on your feet.

And now you are grown up, independent, and your health problems don't bother you too much, which, of course, is the merit of a marvellous doctor, your uncle, whom you decided to visit after a couple of years, during which you have not seen him once. You feel guilty, because he must have been worried about you, but you decide to call him. Luocha's voice sounded as happy and gentle as it always did when he spoke to you, and he was happy to meet you. You'd never been to his house before, mostly meeting your uncle at his workplace, but this time he'd insisted that you drop by so he could make sure you were okay.

That's so nice of him.

— Oh, Y/N, come in, — Luocha smiles softly, inviting you in.

You catch yourself stopping to stare at his long straw hair falling down over his black turtleneck. He's always worn his hair long, but now it seems to be even shinier and sleeker. As a child you wondered what they felt like, but somehow it felt awkward to just touch him without asking.

— I hope I'm not distracting you too much. You'd probably like to rest after your shift at the hospital, — you chuckled awkwardly, letting Luocha take your coat off.

— If it's about seeing my favourite niece, how can that distract me? — as soon as your uncle leaves your coat on the coat rack, he immediately returns to you, wrapping his palms around your waist and pulling you to him for a hug.

You're used to Luocha being quite tactile, though usually his touching you was in a different setting, but you don't pay it much mind, smiling and lifting up on your toes to wrap your arms around the man's neck.

— It's been so long, you've grown so much, — the blond man pulls back to get a better look at you from his height. The fact that his arms are still around your waist makes you slightly uncomfortable, and you look away awkwardly, letting go of your uncle's neck. As if reading your thoughts, Luocha lets you go, instead resting his palm on your back, guiding you towards the living room. — Come, I'll make some tea for us.

Your uncle's house is quite cosy. The light-coloured walls and minimalist interior make it feel comfortable and even inexplicably warm. It's like what you feel when you're next to Luocha himself. You sit down carefully on the soft couch opposite the coffee table, turning your head and glancing around the bookcases. You never even knew he was into reading, though thinking about it now, it seems logical. Probably all those books on medicine.

From the direction of the kitchen comes the sound of Luocha stirring sugar in mugs before you catch his footsteps approaching you from behind.

— Well, tell me, what have you been up to all these years? — your uncle places a saucer in front of you, followed by a mug of steaming brew, the herbal aroma of which has been wafting to you since he entered the room. Luocha places the second mug not far from yours and sits down next to you.

— Oh, I… I had a bit of a falling out with my mother, so I just moved away from her.

— That's how, — the smile fades from the blond man's lips as he reaches for his mug, taking a small sip. — Your mother has always been a difficult person. Truth be told, I'd move away from her myself as soon as possible if I were you.

Your eyes round slightly as you turn your head briefly to look at your uncle, whose lips stretch back into an awkward smile.

— Oh, I'm sorry, it must be weird to say something like that about my own sister?

— N-no, no, no, she's really awful… — you giggle nervously before taking a sip from your mug. The fresh minty notes tingle your receptors, and it's as if you're transported back to years ago, when Luocha used to make the exact same tea for you earlier, when you stayed at the hospital for lunch after your appointments.

Luocha grins awkwardly.

— How is your health?

— Much better already. I had a good doctor!

The man presses his palm to his chest, bowing his head slightly in a gesture of thanks.

— Glad to hear it. But still, will you let me examine you? — you look away from Luocha, setting the cup carefully on the table. — I want to make sure your health really isn't in any danger, — the blond man continues, squeezing your shoulder gently.

— It's really okay, uncle, you don't have to be…

— I'm just worried about you, Y/N, — the man's long fingers gently massage your skin through the fabric of your clothes. — Oh, are you embarrassed that we're not in a hospital? I can put on a dressing gown if it makes you feel more comfortable.

— N-no! It's fine, — you smile crookedly, your shoulder flinching involuntarily as you rise from your spot on the couch.

Luocha might be right. You've never been to his house, so you've generally never given much thought to the fact that he's a man, seeing him solely as a doctor, but now you're somehow so uncomfortable unbuttoning your shirt buttons in front of him. The blood rushes to your cheeks, tingling your skin, and you turn away slightly from the gaze of your uncle, who continues to sit on the couch, waiting. You don't understand why he always asked you to take off your clothes, since your illness hardly shows up outwardly, but Luocha insisted every time he did that your skin could tell you something about your condition, so you preferred not to argue, just following his instructions as your mother had told you to. Your shirt slips off your shoulders, and you fold the thing neatly on the armrest of the couch, meeting Luocha's gaze again, as if silently asking if you should continue, but he only remains silent and fades into his classic unreadable smile. So it is necessary.

You grudgingly unbutton your jeans, slowly pulling the tight fabric down your legs, sending them to the shirt on the couch. You've never experienced something like this before. Stripping down to your underwear in front of a man… You've always been too busy with your studies and more pressing issues to even think about relationships, so this time is the first time in your life you've ever allowed yourself something like this. The only thing that calms your excitement a little is the fact that you've done this before, completely disregarding the fact that your uncle is a man. So you should continue to turn a blind eye to it now.

— Hm-m, — Luocha stands up from the couch, towering over you before placing her palms on your shoulders, slowly sliding down. — Your skin is very soft, Y/N, — for some reason, your stomach clenches after those words, and your eyes move upwards anxiously, meeting your uncle's relaxed gaze. — That's already a good sign.

— I guess… — you answer quietly, feeling an uncomfortable shiver run down your spine as Luocha's hands move to your waist, squeezing your sides gently.

— You were so skinny the last time I saw you, and now look at you… — the man murmurs, groping your tense belly with his fingertips. — A healthy, rounded shape. That pleases me as your doctor.

— Huh, are you implying that I've gained weight?

— No, not at all. You've just grown so much, your body has changed. For example… — his large palms move up to your breasts, settling on the bottoms of your bra cups. — Your breasts have gotten bigger. May I…?

You blush, swallowing nervously, but somehow you nod anyway, unconsciously consenting to your uncle undoing the clasp of your bra, letting it fall carelessly to the floor beneath your feet. Your shoulders tightened reflexively as a chill ran under your skin, but you stopped yourself from shamefully covering your breasts with your hands, instead turning your head sideways. Luocha casts a brief glance at your embarrassed face, choosing to simply ignore it before returning his palms to your now naked breasts again.

A strange heat grips your body as your uncle's long, warm fingers gently grope the firm flesh. What's the matter? Why do you feel so uncomfortable? It's still your uncle, he just wants to help, he's worried about you, then why is that?

— Mm, lymph nodes are fine, — Luocha murmured thoughtfully, running his fingertips gently along the underside of your chest. — You really are all grown up now, Y/N, — the blond suddenly announces, cupping one of his hands around your chin, gently turning your head back to meet your gaze. — And such a beautiful one at that.

You just stare at your uncle, eyes wide, unable to utter a word because of the prickly lump lodged in the middle of your throat. His perpetually calm, velvet voice sounds so sickeningly sweet that you can almost feel the bile coming up your oesophagus.

— You're still a virgin, aren't you, Y/N? — golden long strands slip off Luocha's shoulder as he tilts his head to the side, squinting his lettuce eyes slightly.

— I… Why do you need to know that? — you ask in a shaky voice. He's so close. Why is he so close? You only now realise that your breasts are almost touching his belly, but your legs are so heavy, unable to move your body.

— Becoming sexually active can affect your body in many different ways. To be sure that your condition is stable, we need to understand which symptoms are related to your condition and which ones can be taken out of the equation, — your uncle replies calmly, running his palm down from your chest to your lower abdomen.

— I'll definitely see a gynaecologist when I have some free time, if necessary…

— Oh, that won't be necessary! I can do the exam myself.

It's so stuffy. Even when you still had your clothes on, you weren't as hot as you are now, with your uncle's fingertips clinging to the waistband of your knickers. For as long as you could remember, Luocha had always evoked nothing but silent admiration in you. There didn't seem to be a single thing in the whole world that your well-read and educated uncle didn't know about, ready to help you with any problem, but now it feels really wrong.

— You're so tense, Y/N, — Luocha whispers, running her other palm down from your chin to the curve of your neck. — All the stress built up from living with your mother must be making itself felt one way or another… It saddens me to the core. I don't want your condition to get worse again one day.

The lace fabric is gently pulled back before travelling lower down your thigh. No, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't right. Your lungs constrict and drops of sweat protrude on your forehead. You grit your teeth, biting your tongue painfully, and the pain seems to snap you out of your disgusting trance, allowing you to gather the resolve to grab Luocha's wrist.

— Stop it! — you shout hysterically, even to yourself. Your voice trembles as if you're about to cry.

Your eyes are wide open and shiny with tears, and your uncle freezes, just as you did, without another word. The silence that hangs between the two of you is so intense that you can almost feel it with your skin covered in unpleasant goosebumps. Your mind goes blank in the blink of an eye, and the rush of blood rushing into your ears makes Luocha's face spin before your eyes, but you pull yourself together, yanking your uncle's hand away sharply and away from his touch on your neck. It all happened so fast that you don't even notice that you've already hastily pulled your jeans back up your legs and carelessly slipped your shirt over your shoulders.

— Y/N, I'm sorry, did I do something to offend you? — Luocha asks worriedly, not daring to touch you again as you frantically try to slip your arms through your sleeves, not even bothering to put your bra on.

— I… I should go now… — is the only and last thing you muttered quietly, hastily buttoning a couple of buttons of your shirt down the middle.

Your uncle wanted to say something back to you, having already opened his lips, but closed them back as you hurriedly ran out into the corridor, frantically searching with your eyes where you left your shoes and where Luocha hung your coat.

For a few seconds Luocha just stands there in the living room, staring doomedly at his feet, until he suddenly decides to run after you when he hears you fiddling nervously with the lock of his door.

— Y/N, wait! — the blond shouts after you, making your hand freeze over the knob. — You're living alone now, aren't you?

For some reason, that question makes your stomach cramp up again, but you decide to answer.

— Yes.

Your uncle's lips stretch back into his usual charming smile.

— Then I'll be sure to come by sometime to check up on you. You won't mind, will you?

The disgusting memory of the last time Luocha touched you flashes through your mind again, and your hand reflexively presses the knob before you hurriedly disappear out the door, leaving your uncle's question unanswered.

«Surely you won't mind, Y/N… You just need time», — the blond thought to himself, sighing doomfully before returning to the living room once more.

The undrinkable tea is still on the table. But that wasn't the only reminder of you left in Luocha's house after you left. The sharp gaze of green eyes clung to your bra, which was still lying on the floor. The man rests a bent index finger against his lips for a moment, as if contemplating something, before he walks over to the abandoned item, gently lifting it from the wooden floorboards. Bringing the lacy black cloth up to his nose, your uncle could clearly smell your natural scent, tainted by the subtle fragrance of shower gel and perfume.

You were so excited running away from his house. Luocha hopes you won't notice you're missing for a while.

[physics-of-one-piece]

All these asks make me want to talk about Doffy.

So let me tell you about Celestial Dragon Doffy.

First of all, let me make ☝🏻 one thing perfectly clear.

THAT FUCKER WOULD GET ME.

I'm actually ashamed how quick that particular Doffy would get me. He would trick me really easily, I'm ashamed to admit how easy it would be for him than say Canon Doffy. Canon Doffy, he a pirate. Immediatelly wary of that.

But CD! Doffy. I would underestimate him bcs come on, what can a Celestial Dragon do even if he seems like a normal guy 🤣 And I would severely regret it.

Somehow, CD! Doffy seems like he'd be the best at the manipulation & pretending he's a good guy but also using that "Celestial Dragon power" he has at his disposal.

I also remember how Oda said in the most recent interview with Iñaki: "adulthood is tough. We sorta lose our carefreeness/freedom we had as kids when we get a job." I actually felt kinda sad Oda saw adulthood like that bcs those responsibilities/jobs open the doors for hobbies and doing what you want bcs you have your own money - things you couldn't do because you were a kid and didn't have your own money - and having responsibilities helps you grow as a person, your mind gets sharper, especially problem solving, but... I digress. Difference of opinion and all, and probably bcs the poor guy works seven days a week drawing this incredible manga - yeah I'd feel the same as him if I did that too.

And it got me thinking. Luffy isn't the only one that is childlike and free and does whatever etc.

It's the Celestial Dragons, too. They are the literal like representation of how some not very disciplined kids are. They got no worries, much like Luffy. Except Luffy actually does grow, and he has an actual goal in life.

The Celestial Dragons don't, because everything is given to them.

So it made me kind of think Celestial Dragons act like that as a way to show that they too are "free" cus they also have no responsibilities, the money is simply there for them, and everyone kinda just goes with what they want cus you don't want ro get shot or get your entire island to be destroyed.

In a world where civilians have to flee on sight from pirates, you can't say they are stress free. They can have their entire world simply... Destroyed. In a matter if a single day.

A house they might be paying off? Gone!

Their workplace that they depend to pay their bills? Gone!

Like... And then imagine, comes that Celestial Dragon you saved in your childhood from the mob and is like "hey, I want to repay you for saving me from the mob, I never forgot what you did for me, I'll build you a new house, I'll hire you in the government in Mariejois, you can live with me until the house is built, you're the only human who hasn't hurt me" and he grew up to be handsome as hell?

Hahahaha. Yeah. I'm fucked.

Also... everyone forgets the societal pressure and societal power Celestial Dragons have. You don't just say NO to them. That's literally an insult to them? A god is offering you, a mere human, assistance, and you say no? No to his generousity? You're getting a bullet to the head if you're lucky.

[unabashedly-so]

⚜️ SDV Elliott HC ⚜️

Elliott's family...

Content warning: One-off mentions of homophobic/biphobic microaggressions, alcohol, abusive parents, child favoritism.

I came up with a short story that keeps getting longer about Elliott bringing his partner back to meet his parents (not necessarily by his choice) and confronting a lot of what he'd left behind. The refrain is "To be loved is to be changed," and also part of the resolution is Elliott and his partner totally have nasty revenge sex in his parent's old money country club.

Y'know, therapeutically.

Laurel - 36yo (older sister) - currently a lawyer/attorney in a large city not far from home. She's a very serious person, but not to the point of sternness or coldness. In contrast, she's actually very warm, especially to her siblings, but she's kindly ruthless in her pursuit of what she feels she should pursue. She and Elliott grew up rather close and Elliott idolized her a lot of his childhood, preferring her company over the company of other boys/kids because he felt he could be unabashedly himself around her. She still calls Elliott "Ellie" "Lelly" "Lellit" (Elliott as a toddler would say his name like "Lellit" because all his siblings names started with L so he thought his did too.)

...So anyway here's Elliott's family made for a story that I'll probably never actually get around to writing. "Spoilers" for the story and character growth are in the parentheses at the end for his parents. Also, no they don't have last names because that feels weird.

Loren - 34yo (older brother) - currently a stocks trader or something, but it's not his passion. He mainly does it to make money so he can indulge in his hobbies--traveling, and collecting calculators and typewriters. He has taken Elliott on some of his travels but he's a bit distant emotionally, very much someone who gets lost in his own head, but unlike Elliott, he doesn't really care to share it with others. There are moments of good connection between him and Elliott, but it's a lot of work to get those moments, so Elliott stopped trying to force it. As a kid, Loren was a typically older brother to him and antagonized him appropriately. Elliott was appropriately a younger brother to him when he wasn't dangling off of Laurel. As older siblings, they did share some commonalities that they bonded on, like sharing books, and he was a good listener for Elliott's story ideas.

Elliott - 32yo - as the middle child with two very successful older siblings, Elliott is often overlooked by his parents. There's no incredible pressure for him to be wealthy or successful, but that doesn't mean they aren't disappointed nonetheless. As a child, he was imaginative, creative, and loved to be the center of attention when he had a good story to tell. Otherwise, he was rather quiet. His mother likes to joke that Elliott was the "baby" of the family for 8 years and he's never once forgotten it, saying that he needs more coddling than most, as he was always so attached to his older sister, Laurel.

Samuel - 24yo (younger brother) - very much The Accident. Susannah tells everyone he dropped out of medical school to go practice field medicine in war torn Gotoro. In actuality, he's currently living off the family's fortunes (and Loren's kindness) "finding himself". Elliott's relationship with Samuel is a bit distant, mainly due to the age gap. Elliott is fond of his youngest brother and has fond memories with him, but it was always tainted by a perceptible difference with how he was treated vs. Elliott and the rest of the kids.

Susannah - mother - Motherly but outsourced much of the emotional work to servants. She does care for her children and wants the best for them, but like her husband, very much thinks that they can only be happy in the ways that she comes up for them. Her main style of communication is through double-entendres and snide, passive aggressive remarks. ie, if Elliott brings home a wife, she'll remark, "Oh Elliott, I knew you'd find the right girl to fix you right up!" (talking about his bi/gayness) Laurel followed Susannah's hopes for her, so Laurel is the golden child in her mind. Loren does well for himself and doesn't cause any trouble so he's another good egg. Elliott... well, she doesn't quite understand the path he's chosen. She thinks he's too in-his-own-head for his own good. She tells him to be more like Loren all the time directly, and indirectly reveres Laurel to him. (It's revealed that Killian barely supported her in her raising the kids, which was why she outsourced so much of their raising, because she couldn't handle it on her own and knew it wouldn't be good enough. She also comes around to accepting she doesn't understand Elliott's path in life AND that that's okay as long as he's happy and taken care of. She also says that she and Sir Killian have been seeing a marriage counselor (their "advising consultant") for years and she's so sorry she didn't do it sooner.)

Sir Killian - father - very hands off with the kids. Led by stern example, but not cruel, just not accepting of deviation from his expectations. One-on-one and in private, he can be very warm and caring, even jovial and soft. But there's a military history, one that he's not escaped and comes through in much of his interactions and the persona he puts off. "Sir" comes from that experience. He appears quietly disappointed all the time that none of his children took up the mantle of military service. (It is later revealed that he did not partake in childrearing or supporting Susannah in it because he knew the father he would be was not the father his kids deserved--his father was militant, alcoholic, abusive, etc. He shares that he regrets not even trying, but at the same time, sees how it was a benefit. He shares that he is actually relieved that none of his children went into military service and that his experience made him very anti-war, but coming out with those views would have excommunicated him from his family, and he felt he had to uphold that connection for fear of not being able to provide for his family.)

[violetnerves]

The Rise and Fall of Jenny Hopkins, aged 15 - Chapter 4, Part 1: Under Pressure.

Well this is embarrassing. It's been awhile, life happened and I also procrastinated. But I've got it done so here you go!

A bit of a slow chapter, it's mainly set up for part 2 besides the introduction to some of the original female characters meant to expand the female cast since there were very few girls at the Academy in the original game.

Word Count: 8,284

Some Content warnings that may apply:

-Jenny's got a bit of a case of internalized misogyny. I sorta hinted at it in earlier chapters but I tried to make it apparent here.

-Some foul language. I think I might've been too frivolous with it here, though considering the first chapter had the c-word in it I guess that's to be expected at this point.

I'll admit, I had a pretty nice day with Gary yesterday. Yeah, I didn't think I'd admit that to myself either, but I really did. Since I'm basically talking to myself, it's fine if I do. Not like anybody else is ever gonna read this.

Well… unless my dream of becoming a successful rockstar ends up panning out, and I decide to publish this diary, claiming it as my autobiography that I totally didn't just put out as an easy money grab. That isn't like me at all, I don't even like money that much!

Anyway, enough lying off my ass, I'm sure you're wondering what Gary and I got up to.

After we left Burgers right after Gary called me… pretty… he talked me into stealing a bike with him, and we rode through Old Bullworth Vale, specifically the neighborhood where all the Preps lived. It was some weirdly laid out cul-de-sac, rather than some kind of gated community like I would've expected. Many of the houses did have a large metal fence and gate surrounding them though, with Tad Spencer's even having an extra fence just to enclose the garage.

Gary pointed out Derby, Tad's and Pinky's house, as well as Petey's house since he apparently lived in the area too. For some reason he felt the need to point out how Petey's house was only one story, and how the only reason they lived there was because Pete's mom is an obese whale who'd fall through the floor of any building higher than ground level. I had to wonder what that kid even did to Gary to make him feel the need to insult him all the time, even when he wasn't around, and if Pete was even aware of the reason.

“So, where's your house then?” I asked out of curiosity, just casually peddling beside Gary on the side of the road as we made our way to Bullworth Town. “I noticed you didn't point it out, do you live out of town or are you from a different state and just familiar with the area from attending the Academy for so long?”

Gary didn't answer my question immediately, despite staring at me the entire time. 

It was really starting to annoy me. It was bad enough that he felt the need to call me pretty (If he hadn't bought me lunch, I probably would've slugged him in the face right after he'd said it.) but now with the staring? 

“Gary, could you quit staring at me like that? It's weirding me out.”

The guy looked like he'd been caught red-handed committing a crime, his eyes widening as we stopped by the entrance to the park not too far from the fast food place we'd eaten at earlier. He tried to give a response, eyes darting around as he clearly didn't have a good explanation, and only managed to blurt out:

“I wasn't staring at you.”

I rolled my eyes, instead changing the subject back to asking where he lived.

“So? Where do you actually live?” I asked once more, my tone a bit bitchier than I intended it to come out. Understandable given his behavior.

Just… God, why did he have to call me pretty? That's the last thing I ever wanted to be. I didn't want to look attractive to anyone, that would make me more of a target than I already was just for being born a girl at all.

I bet ugly guys don't have to deal with bullcrap like this. Dammit, why couldn't I have just been born a dude! 

Then again, I guess it could be worse. He could've said something stupid like, oh I don't know, I love you or something. I didn't trust anyone except my mother to say that to me… even though I really couldn't remember the last time my mother had told me she loved me…

Whatever. 

If Gary really had said that to me, I would've ditched him at Burgers and probably ditched school altogether.

I knew I could never, ever trust a man to say he loved me and actually mean it without some kind of catch.

It wasn't completely impossible for me to avoid going back to the Academy anyway, I'd once ran away from home for about a month and a half about two years ago in a really really dumb attempt to find my biological father. During that time, I'd taught myself how to drive, drank my first beer, and even realized that I was a little bit of a dyke. Good times.

Gary's demeanor flipped like a switch, and suddenly that nervousness from earlier was gone. He'd gone back to his usual confident self, it was almost like he hadn't been nervous at all.

How the hell did he even do that? First Gary's angry then chill the next second, then he's nervous and now he seems like he has everything under control? Man, I wish I could do that, maybe I'd be considered less of a bitch.

“Oh, me? My place is out of town and pretty isolated, it's about 30 miles North of Bullworth. Not really walking or biking distance. It's a manor, way bigger than Derby's mansion too… You know, I could invite you over sometime…” Gary said, leaning on his (stolen) bike in what I can only describe as… seductive… yet weirdly pitiful. Like he was trying to charm me, except he didn't seem confident about it. It kind of reminded me of Pete a little, though only the latter part. Pete was only charming in a pitiful way, like a kitten with a cold.

“I'm good, thanks,” I replied.

I expected Gary to try and push the topic, but he thankfully took the hint. Instead we headed into this place called “Old Bullworth Gardens” for a bit. It was just some park, there wasn't even any sort of garden around at all. Why even call it a garden if there wasn't anything besides trees around?

Gary got the idea of practicing my aim more with the slingshot by hiding in a tree and slinging pebbles at random passerby. I went through with it, because the idea sounded funny. 

And you know what? It was.

He’d point out someone, and I'd aim at them and shoot. Didn’t matter if it was some old lady or a guy wearing shorts 2 sizes too small for him going out on a late mid-day run: either way, they got the gift of a pebble getting launched at their head. I tried to avoid hitting anyone in the eyes, but that was about it. It's not like a little pebble could kill anyone after all… It's a bit stupid to die from getting hit by a pebble.

…

Gary stood behind the tree I was in, letting out a quiet chuckle with every hit I managed to get. 

Now that I think about it, describing his laughter as a chuckle didn't seem right, it was more comparable to a giggle. It was boyish and sweet, and it caught me off guard hearing it come out of the mouth of a guy like Gary. Especially since all I was doing was beaming people in the head with small pebbles. Maybe I was missing something, could it be something else that was causing it?

Maybe not, Gary was a bit of a weirdo. I knew that from the first time I'd ever spoken to him.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said Gary's weird giggling caught me off guard. A guy with crutches and a cast on his leg wobbled by, and, to my surprise, I accidentally released the slingshot’s flimsy rubber band. Instead of hitting the guy with the crutches, it hit a nearby wasp nest in a tree about a few feet away from the one I was in. The nest fell, and unfortunately for the couple having a picnic right underneath that same tree, it landed right between the two of them.

Gary's giggling turned into full on hysterical laughter as the couple screamed in terror and fled the gardens, trailed by a swarm of angry wasps.

Unfortunately, Gary's loud ass laugh got the attention of a nearby cop.

“Hey! What are you two doing out of school?! Don't think for a second about acting stupid, I see those uniforms!”

Gary seemingly didn't think twice about making a run for it without helping me out of the tree, but truthfully? I hardly blamed him.

I would've done the same thing really. A dick move, sure, but not one that I wouldn’t have done.

I scrambled down the tree and barely avoided the officer grabbing me as I sprinted off in the same direction as Gary, the cop still on my ass. As I shoved my slingshot back in my bag, I was stumped on how to get this guy off me… until I remembered something.

Behind the junk bus, just before I smashed its windows in, I spotted a plastic bag of marbles and shoved them in my purse as a keepsake. I wasn't sure why they were there, maybe some other student had dropped the bag or just stashed them there for who knows what reason.

I undid the tie on the bag and tossed it behind me without looking back, hearing the contents rattle out on the gravel crosswalk loudly. Next thing I heard was the even louder sound of a body hitting concrete, followed by a string of agonized curses. I didn't look back, but I still ended up barely holding back a laugh.

Just my luck, I actually ended up losing track of Gary. I briefly wondered if he and Davis were in the same Track team or something as I decided to run down toward the beach as the sun began to set on the horizon, turning the ocean from its natural blue color to a warm, saturated orange.

Looking at the water, I almost felt the temptation to dive in for some reason. It was stupid, I mean, it was October, and it was the beginning of Fall, the water was freezing… besides, I didn't even like swimming that much. 

…Didn't help that one-piece swimsuits typically made for girls my size tended to be pretty ugly… and there was no way I was ever swimming in a bikini…

I stood at the top of the steps at the entrance to the beach, and as I made my way down to the sandbank below, I felt an odd sense of apprehension come over me. I looked around, but besides some of the townsfolk walking around town clearly minding their own business, there wasn't anything or anyone around that could've been the cause of the weird feeling.

Shaking my head, I stepped onto the beach and walked right, my gaze fixated on the light house.

I’d… never seen one of those so close up before. It seemed to be abandoned, the light at the very top unlit and the mechanism that made it spin wasn’t on either. Underneath it was a small building, connected to the main pier with a ramp leading up to what I assumed was the entrance to the place.

I’ll admit, I got a bit curious. Before I could actually satiate that curiosity however, I felt a pair of hands grab me from behind. One hand was on my mouth, while the other had a firm grip on my right shoulder.

I didn't waste any time reacting, slamming my elbow into whoever was grabbing me. He grunted, I could tell it was a guy from how deep the sound of it was. Before he could do anything I whipped around and grabbed his throat.

I didn't apply any pressure though… because I realized it was Gary. Even though my hands were wrapped firmly around his throat, the motherfucker was grinning. He let out this throaty, mild and short chuckle as he stared at me with his head lifted up. 

My hands left his throat and I stared at him completely baffled. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?

Scratch that, I should've been asking a different question, something along the lines of what wasn't wrong with this guy. That would've been easier to answer…

…Like… I dunno, his tooth gap was kind of cute? I guess?

…

…Maybe seeing the school counselor wasn’t such a bad idea from Crabblesnitch after all. Seriously Jenny-girl, what the fuck is wrong with you? What the actual fuck? First you date a guy 5 years older than you back in 7th grade that ended up stabbing his aunt with a sharpened candy cane on the 4th of July, and now this shit?

You seriously need to get better taste in men.

Gary let out that weird giggle again, and I switched from being baffled to being pissed off.

“What’s so funny you moron? What were you thinking?!”

He kept chuckling, and I seriously considered actually strangling him when he finally spoke. What he said next only reinforced the thought.

“Awww… Did I scare you Jane? I was just trying to be funny, didn't think you'd try to strangle me like that. A bit of a psychotic response don't you think?” he spoke, smirking briefly with a short ‘heh’ before continuing, “Anyway… you wanna watch the sunset with me? I saw you looking at it beforehand so…”

What the hell was-

…

…Oh what the Hell, I was just repeating myself at this point. 

It's like his constant weird behavior was tiring me out. Just one thing right after the other. None of it was enough to make me leave, instead, I found myself tolerating it.

For what reason? I didn't know, still don't.

So what did I do?

“...Sure Gary…”

I watched the sunset with him. Yes, seriously. It was pretty nice actually, he didn't even do anything weird for the rest of the day afterwards… Thankfully.

Aside from a comment he made about the sunset reminding him of my eyes. I rolled my eyes at that, giving him a firm and final “whatever.”

By the time we were ready to go, it was past curfew, so Gary and I headed back to the school. The Prefects that were patrolling around the school grounds for curfew dodgers were hardly an issue, not noticing as we slipped through a huge hole in the outer fence wall… 

…Which we could've gone through earlier rather than hopping the fence…

Why didn’t we go through there earlier? I didn’t think to ask at the time since… well I was tired as hell at that point from all the action and Gary in general and just didn’t think about it at the time. I figure I should ask Gary about it later, but knowing me, I'll probably forget to do it. It's not like it's that much of a big deal anyways.

I did learn something new from Gary before we split up to go back to our respective Dorms for the night. The front doors of the dorms were locked up after curfew, so entering from there wasn't an option. Instead, there was a window that led straight into the attic of the girl's dorm, which for whatever reason was never closed. Aside from having to climb a lattice wall covered in overgrown vines just to get up to the window, I didn't have any issue sneaking back into the dorm, and back into my room.

No, I don't know why Gary knows about that entrance. Again… I was too tired to ask. To be honest, I don’t remember much else from that night, safe to say I was pretty checked out by that point. Weirdly, the last thing I remember that night before passing out was the sound of somebody puking their guts out, coming from the area where the bathroom was. Not sure what was up with that.

I woke up still wearing my school uniform. I even still had that origami flower Gary tied to my hair, which I'd figured would have fallen out with how loose I'd tied it, but apparently not.

Trisha was the one who woke me up by the way, not because she wanted to be annoying, but because if she hadn’t, I would’ve been late for class otherwise. Pretty cool of her, but I still ended up giving her shit for it anyway because I'm an absolute bitch with a capital b in the morning. Next chance I get I should probably apologize… If I remember to do it.

Didn't help that she asked about the flower, wondering where I'd gotten it and why I was wearing it in my hair. I practically ripped it out and shoved it into my section of the closet.

Despite all that, I think I was starting to tolerate Trisha at this point. It helps that she’s only mildly annoying, and not on purpose. Trisha's just… like that. Trisha doesn't go out of her way to be a dick, unlike pretty much everybody in this God forsaken school. Namely this one brunette - Mandy I think her name was? - who tripped Trisha on her way out of the Dormitory. I helped the fallen girl up and yelled at the girl in the cheerleader outfit, but Mandy just laughed and walked off. What a friggin bitch.

Trisha thanked me and we parted ways, and that was that.

I barely made it in time for Biology. It was… normal I guess? I already knew the teacher's name was Dr. Slaughter, and boy did his personality certainly match his name. He complimented me on my delicate knife work, but instead of feeling pretty good about the praise, it just weirded me out. I feel like he and that creepy janitor I've seen around campus who mumbles a lot hide dead bodies together after school. 

I just so happened to be partnered up with Eunice for the whole thing, but she wasn't much help. She was pretty sensitive about seeing the frog's innards, and the most I could get her to do was pass the tools I needed and label the drawings of the organs on the sheet we were given. We did chat for a bit, mainly about the other girls at the school. Turns out Eunice was a bit of a gossip with a little bit of nudging.

I did get some info on the more prominent girls around the campus, since Gary neglected to actually fill me in on any of them earlier.

First of all, there was Marian Abbott, the Head Girl. Her family was British, but she was born in America so that meant pretty much nothing really. She's basically an American. She was in her senior year and admitted that she was aiming to go to Harvard, which Eunice thought was pretty believable given how seriously she took her studies… along with the fact that her dad was a billionaire who could easily afford the tuition. She didn't go out of her way to talk to people, but that didn't matter since people would go out of their way to talk to her. She was also technically a part of the Jocks clique since she was Head of the swim team, but there was another girl in the clique who was far more important than her.

Mandy Wyles, the head cheerleader. Why was she so important? Besides the fact that she was the head cheerleader? It was because her boyfriend, Ted Thompson, was the Captain of Bullworth's football team. Yeah, her popularity was solely because of a man, a boy really. That was what gave her status. She was otherwise a vapid bully, and constantly had her eyes on the Greasers clique leader rather than her actual boyfriend. She ruled the Girl's dorm with an iron fist, since she pretty much had Mrs. Peabody wrapped around her perfectly manicured finger. If a girl did something she personally didn't approve of or inconvenienced her in some way, she'd go crying to Peabody about it and the old hag would go out of her way to find something to punish the offending girl for.

Hearing that, I thought back to what Dr. Lamb said about Mrs. Peabody looking after the girls. Was she lying about that or delusional? I'd believe that second one, seems like a lot of people in this place have their heads up their asses or something, it'd explain everybody's crappy mood.

Heh.

Oh, and she apparently has an eating disorder or something like that, and she hid it by throwing up in either the Girl’s Dorms or gym bathrooms late at night or whenever there wasn’t anyone around. I guess that explained the puking I'd heard from the night before. Personally, I don’t think it could’ve happened to a nicer girl.

I’m sure if I said that aloud, you’d be able to hear the condescension in my tone.

Then there was Lola Lombardi, the top girl of the Greasers. Two guesses as to why that is. 

That's right, It's because she's dating the leader of the Greasers, Johnny Vincent. Granted, she does have a bit of a girl posse going on with some of the other Greaser's girlfriends. Their little sub-group is pretty identical to their male counterparts, but a lot more subtle when it comes to their harassment, mainly because of Mrs. Peabody. Apparently Lola really, really hated any girl that admitted to wanting to hook up with her boyfriend. It probably would've been understandable, if it wasn't for the fact that Lola herself was a serial cheater. Every year since they'd first gotten together, Lola would cheat on Johnny with multiple guys, and her little gang would try to cover it up and make sure Johnny didn't find out about it. Except they must've been pretty bad at doing it, since Johnny would always end up finding out about his girlfriend playing hot potato with her and another dude's lips at least once, and it'd end pretty badly for whatever guy was smoochin’ Lola. Last year, one of those stupid and unlucky boys even ended up in a 3 month coma, but when the cops tried asking him how it happened and who did it, the kid couldn't even remember who had beaten him up to begin with, so Johnny and his boys got off scott free.

Oh, and despite the Greasers and Preps being rivals with one another, Lola has issues with Mandy Wyles rather than the main Prep girl, Pinky Gauthier. Mandy's been pretty upfront with wanting to get together with Johnny for a long time, but because of how close she is with Mrs. Peabody, Lola and her crew basically can't touch her, nevermind breathe the same air.

Speaking of Pinky, she's the main Prep girl. She's… pretty unremarkable. According to Eunice, she's not even mean to anyone, at least in comparison to the others at the Academy; At worst, she complains a lot and loudly about her ridiculously young step-mother, either because the other womans been borrowing her clothes or makeup or whatever without asking; apparently the last complaint was about the step-mom taking her limited edition Nintendogs metallic rose colored Nintendo DS. Initially, it seemed like she was pretty inoffensive, I thought I could’ve found some common ground with her by complaining about the annoying things my mom does… then I remembered she was dating her cousin, Derby Harrington. I dunno if I'd even want to associate with somebody like that.

While Pinky was the most prominent and popular girl of the Preps, there was another significant girl to be aware of. 

Annette Caldwell.

Annette, as far as what Eunice has told me, is a ticking time bomb. She acts like she's all calm and collected, but if you were to wrong her in some way you'd never hear the end of it, at least these days. In the past, she used to be just kind of two-faced, speaking kindly of people only to talk shit about them behind their back; A coward basically.

But then her family started getting into financial trouble, the kind you couldn't easily get out of. Recently she's been trying to get Derby to date her, in what Eunice assumed was a way to get her family some financial security. Not that Annette getting with Derby was any better than him dating his cousin, because Annette was also his cousin; The rich of Bullworth seemed to be real connected with each other, which made me wonder why the Harrington's weren't already helping the Caldwell's out of their financial woes.

By the day, it seemed like she's been getting worse and worse, and I'm pretty sure it was her I'd heard yelling at the top of her lungs at someone from halfway across the main school building yesterday.

Could've just been some random girl, but the voice sounded like it belonged to some high-class snooty teenage girl that was having a mental breakdown, so I just assumed.

At the very bottom of relevancy was Beatrice Trudeau, main girl of the Nerds. I was sort of familiar with her… though, mainly her smell. I'm pretty sure I'd hurried past her on my way to Biology this morning, and that was enough to make me dislike her immediately. Seriously, has that girl ever heard of deodorant?

She was probably one of the few Nerds that actually seemed to care about her future beyond swearing that they'll be their bullies boss someday. She could often be found in the library after school like the rest of the nerds, but rather than playing Grottos and Gremlins, she'd have her face shoved in some kind of book along with a few of the other Nerd girls she got along with.

Even though I probably didn't really need the info, I ended up asking Eunice about Trisha and what her whole deal was. Mainly how she was even in the Bullies clique in the first place. Sure, Trent was her brother and that probably answered my question, but it still seemed strange that somebody like Russell would just allow her in given her… quirks... 

Well, I was sort of right, but it was a bit more complicated.

See, Trisha Northwick considered herself… a witch. Seriously, she was 100% convinced she was some kind of magic girl in some book she liked, though she was pretty inconsistent about how her magic worked. Last year she got in trouble for taking all the salt from the cafeteria kitchen along with a shit ton of glitter from the art room and spreading it in a ring around the Boy's Dorm at 3 in the morning. When she got caught, she claimed that she was trying to cleanse the demons and evil spirits out of the Dorm, only to be told by Crabblesnitch that there weren't any demons in the Dorm, only the male students. She then tried arguing that the demons were obviously separate beings from the students that lived there, but that the salt circle would probably do them some good anyway by cleansing their souls and making them act nicer. 

I kinda figured Trisha had a few screws loose, but this was something else. At least it seemed like her delusions were meant to be helpful, if still bafflingly ridiculous.

As for the whole Russell thing? Well, he was convinced of her whole witch delusion, and the only reason she was in his clique was because Trent told him that if he didn't let her join, Trisha would get upset and put a curse on him. It was kind of screwed up actually, Russell was obviously “slow”, and you could probably make the argument that the two were taking advantage of that.

Not that I cared really. That huge idiot gave me a bloody nose on my first day here, could've broken it too with how hard he'd hit me, so why should I be concerned with a nutcase and her bully of a brother taking advantage of his retardation?

Yeah, that's right. It's none of my damn business.

Plus, actually trying to do something to make the students around here act less like assholes, even if it is utterly delusional and wouldn't have actually worked, isn't a completely terrible idea. Obviously, though, there were… better ways to go about it.

Did I know of any specific one? Not really, but I assumed there was. Best I could think of doing was smacking anybody harassing me for something stupid. Gary probably had some ideas though.

After biology was lunch, but rather than stop by the lunchroom to get a whiff of whatever unholy dish that ogre was cooking up, I instead went straight towards the school counselor's office. I was told I could either visit during lunch or after the second class was over, and since I really just wanted to get this over with I decided lunch would be fine.

As of now, I’m sitting by Dr. Lamb’s office door with this dumb diary in hand, more or less stalling; My pen rolling in between my fingers as I press the tip to the paper, jotting down one last sentence.

Just get it over with Jen. 

***

I shut the diary loudly and stuffed it back into my purse along with my pen. Usually I would've kept the holy grail of all my secrets and insecurities and secret insecurities somewhere more private than my purse, like burying it in the closet, but I didn't fully trust Trisha not to snoop around and find it. It was nothing personal, truthfully I'd do the same thing with pretty much any girl in this school. I’ve gotten my diary stolen before back at the third school I'd attended, the one in San Andreas.

Admittedly, the only reason it even happened was because I'd brought it to school in the first place, but since just leaving it at home wasn't an option here, keeping it in my purse was arguably safer; Especially since nowadays I could just beat up anybody stupid enough to run off with my bag.

My hand met the stainless steel door handle into Dr. Lamb's office and opened it, peeking inside to see her typing at her computer. She noticed me and waved with a warm smile.

“Oh! Hello Jane, nice of you to drop by!” Dr. Lamb said, her voice a bit weary. It didn't match her appearance, which was noticeably better than yesterday. I swear, it was like she'd gotten done having some kind of mental breakdown right before catching Gary and I jumping the fence. I'd ask, but I figured she'd ignore me or change the topic. It's what my mom would do, well, actually, mom tended to get mad more often than the other two, but Dr. Lamb didn't seem like that type of person.

I scanned the room itself. It was pretty boring, the only sense of Dr. Lamb’s touch seemed to be mostly restricted to her desk.

“Yeah, I kinda just wanted to get this over with. Gives me an excuse to skip lunch too,” I said, sitting in one of the office chairs set not too far from the front of her desk. I let my purse dangle on one of the chairs’ arms. I Continued with, “So, how are ya doing?”

Dr. Lamb gave me a look of concern.

“You mean you haven't eaten anything today? Did you at least eat something for breakfast?”

“Nothing besides a Beam cola. I'm not really interested in getting food poisoning on my first week of school.”

She sighed, in a way that sounded like she understood the terrible state of the food in the cafeteria but was still disappointed that I'd choose going hungry over just risking it and eating whatever looked the most edible thing on the menu.

“Well I can't just let you go hungry. Hold on, let me just get this out,” before I could tell her it was fine and that I was used to going hungry, she was already rummaging through her desk.

Dr. Lamb ducked down in her chair and I heard a drawer from behind her desk being opened up. As she rummaged through from wherever, I noticed the photo frames on her desk. She had a good number of photos but one stood out to me for whatever reason.

It was Dr. Lamb with a butch looking woman and a young girl, probably kindergarten age. The three were at some kind of beach, and the butch woman and Lamb were building a sandcastle with the girl, who I could guess was probably Dr. Lamb's daughter with how similar they looked.

My focus left the pictures and went back to Dr. Lamb, who set a fairly large black canvas lunch bag on her desk. She unzipped the top, and it turned out to have several baggies full of what appeared to be sandwiches wrapped up in napkins. 

“I've noticed that a lot of the students around here seem to avoid eating the food in the cafeteria, so I figured I'd get permission to have the students in my afternoon Home Economics class make these sandwiches as a warmup while I get their assignment ready and hand them out. They're basically just PB and J sandwiches with banana slices in them, though I did make sure to include a few that's just jelly and banana, for the students that have a peanut allergy. Feel free to take one!”

My gaze shifted from the bag back to Dr. Lamb, and for some reason I couldn't help but to think back to what Gary had said about her.

"I mean, Lamb just seems like she's hiding something to me. She's a new hire, and I feel like she's just putting on this act of being all sweet and kind until she reveals who she really is…”

It's not like I hadn't been screwed over by a “nice” teacher before. I was still going to be careful, but I was kind of hungry, so…

“Thanks ma'am,” I replied, taking one of the bags and unwrapping the sandwich inside of it. Sure enough, it was just a plain, white bread PBJ, one of the banana slices peeking out between the two bread slices. Not like I was expecting anything spectacular, “It's better than nothing.”

Dr. Lamb smiled and zipped the bag up, putting it back where she'd pulled it out.

“Yes, it's far better than skipping a meal. Listen Jenny, that’s not the kind of habit you want to repeat, it could lead to an eating disorder. Teen girls around your age are particularly susceptible to developing them.”

“So I've heard,” I said. It's not like I was at risk of it. I just needed to cut back on the Beam colas, which I could do at any time. Y'know, if I ever felt like it.

Which wasn't anytime soon I don't think. Didn't mean I had a problem though obviously.

“I'm serious Jane,” Dr. Lamb replied, her tone sounding more like a stern parent than her usual soft spoken way of talking. Which didn't seem too out of place oddly enough, “Just try and eat the most edible thing on the menu, at least until after Halloween when they finally let you students roam the town.”

I groaned. I wasn't gonna be too mean, but I knew I had to be blunt.

“Listen, Lamb, there's nothin’ edible comin’ out of that lunchroom. It's like the food's being made by a lunch lady that's deliberately tryin’ to poison people. And given the amount of kids I've seen runnin’ out of the lunchroom just to puke their guts out in the garbage cans out in the hallway cause the ones in the lunchroom are occupied? She's doin’ a great job. Seriously, I think that Edna woman needs to be fired. Her cooking could probably be considered a war crime.”

Dr. Lamb gave me a look that outright said, ‘You're right, but you shouldn't say it,’ which meant she was definitely gonna get on my case about saying it in the first place.

Except she didn't. She changed the topic instead, and somehow that ended up being worse than her reprimanding me for just being honest.

“So I'd like to talk about what happened yesterday…”

“What the fight or Gary and I skipping school?”

“About - Waitaminute w-what fight?”

Shit, did I just tell on myself? I guess that explains why I hadn’t gotten called in for it. I guess getting beat up for the second time in a row by the new girl on her second day left them too embarrassed to say anything about it. Since I've already blabbed and it could get that asshole Davis into trouble, I decided to just tell her. It’d whittle their number down a bit more… Or I could get in trouble again…

“Uh, yeah. That Davis White kid shot a pebble at me and lured me into the Shop class area where the rest of his buddies were, and so I had to beat the crap out of them again. They did it cause they were mad about Trent and Russell getting in trouble.”

“Oh for fu-BUCK’S sake.”

I kinda just stared at the blonde woman as Lamb held her head in her hands, pressing her thin hands into her face. She mumbled up a storm and the few bits I could make out among the jumbled mess of words were: “Second day” “2 months” and “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph”. I wondered briefly if I should interrupt but figured that, with how run ragged she seemed to be yesterday, this school's craziness was starting to get to her. Gary had said she was new, and that was pretty obvious when compared to the other faculty who were either just another part of the school's madness or completely numb to it.

It'd be terrible to see that kind of thing happen to her, even if what Gary said about her was true.

The blonde woman grumbled a bit more before scratching her head and glancing at me again.

“I-it's fine… Though I will have to inform Dr. Crabblesnitch of this… But what I actually meant to talk about was the other incident. Concerning you and Gary hopping the main gate.” 

I already figured that one was coming.

“Yes ma'am? What about it? I thought it was kinda weird how I didn’t get called into the office for it, figured you would've told Crabblesnitch by now. I wouldn't even really blame you for doing it, protocol and all that nonsense,” I said, finally opening up the bagged PBJ I'd been offered to dig into. 

“I did, at least as soon as I could do it. I actually did it this morning.”

I raised an eyebrow at that.

“This morning?” I said, the surprise in my tone apparent, “You mean you didn’t do it right after you caught us?”

She shook her head.

“No, I'd planned on it but I kept running into distractions throughout the day. It was my turn to patrol the school grounds along with Mr. Galloway, but unfortunately he seemed to be preoccupied with… something else… so it was just me and one of the Prefects at the time. It's why I was out there to see you two climbing the gate. It was just one thing after another; I needed to attend my afternoon Home Economics class. One boy shoved a firecracker down another boy's pants during shop class and it triggered the shop class teacher's PTSD. A fight broke out in front of the Boy's Dorm…” The blonde’s eyes unconsciously landed on me, and I had to hold back an eye roll so she wouldn't notice. “Again…” Lamb just kept going and going with all the stuff that went down while Gary and I were out on the town yesterday, and I briefly wondered if stuff like this happened on the regular. Did the school board or whoever was in charge of monitoring schools know about any of it? 

Eventually Dr. Lamb got to the point, “I did catch you two going back to the school grounds later on in the day on my way home, but I still made sure to inform Dr. Crabblesnitch of the incident this morning...”

“Wait, if you told him then how come I wasn't called up to the office for it?” I replied with a mouthful of PBJ.

“Because he had already been informed of the incident by Gary.”

I blinked, swallowing the bit of sandwich I had so I could ask clearly. But I found it a bit hard to speak. Gary had said something? He'd admitted it? I mean, I guess he'd have to since we'd been caught but I hadn't taken him for being such a casual snitch.

Given we seemingly hadn't gotten in trouble for it though… maybe he'd had the right idea.

“Gary admitted it?” I asked, as if for some reason I needed to confirm what Dr. Lamb just told me barely a second ago, “What exactly did he tell Dr. Crabblesnitch then besides that? Because, well, I don't take the Headmaster as somebody who would let something as serious as leaving campus without telling anybody very lightly…”

“Oh he took it quite well actually. Gary had approached him earlier in the morning right as he left his car. Gary’s reasoning for it was because he got a little impatient and since you were new, he'd wanted to just show you around town before they finally opened up the gates after Halloween. I'd assume since Gary is the current Head Boy and meant well enough, Dr. Crabblesnitch decided to let it go, especially since there hadn't been any incidents reported by the police as a result of you two. He told me he let Gary off with a warning and wanted me to tell you the same.”

I guess that means I'm off the hook and that the cop I'd tripped up with marbles hadn’t bothered to report us either… Or he’d hit his head hard enough on the pavement to forget about it entirely. Either way, it meant I wasn't gonna get in trouble for once, so I was fine with brushing it off entirely and keeping my mouth shut about that.

“Alright then. I actually wasn’t fully ok with the idea of leaving campus to be honest. I only went along with it cause I didn’t want to eat lunch in the cafeteria.”

Dr. Lamb smiled and responded with:

“Ok, just don't do it again. If you really do get hungry, then please don't hesitate to just ask me for a sandwich. At the end of the day I usually end up having extras anyway.”

“Yeah… Sure, I'll remember to ask,” I replied. My eyes shifted over to the wall clock, but unfortunately I still had about 15 minutes before the bell rang and I could finally get outta here. Why can't the hours fly by when you want them to?

“Jenny?”

My attention focused back on Dr. Lamb.

“Yes ma'am?”

“I'd like to just ask something. On your first day, when Trent and his friends were trying to take money from you, you know you could've-”

Ugh, here we go.

“Could've what? Run off to find faculty or a prefect instead of hitting Trent? I ran to the office right after anyway, the Bullies decided to escalate things, not me. I actually gave him a warning before I actually got physical too! He decided to ignore it,” I knew exactly where Lamb had been going with her sentence because I'd heard the same thing a million times, from men and women of all kinds. From the people that were supposed to stop this kind of crap before it happened. It's bullshit, it's always been grade A bullshit. I didn't want to think Gary was right about her, but this definitely wasn't helping.

Hey God! If you're real, why do you keep pulling this stuff on me? Give me a friggin’ break! What the hell did I ever do to you anyway?

Lamb frowned, and her response felt the same as my rant about the lunchroom from earlier, except this time I was the one who decided to change the topic. 

My thoughts went back to the framed photo on her desk, and curiosity got a hold of me.

“Who's that woman in the photo with you and your daughter? Is that a family friend or something?”

She looked at the photo as well.

“Oh her? That’s my girl-” Dr.Lamb suddenly stammered a bit, seemingly correcting herself, “R-roommate! She’s my roommate. W-we co-parent.”

A few awkward minutes passed before I nodded and said:

“Whatever you say ma'am,” I told her with a bored tone in my voice. 

I figured that was the only way to sort of brush off the fact that I actually knew what she meant. It was clearly a secret she wanted to keep to herself, I guess to keep her job, which was a reason I could understand. Not sure why she even wanted to work at Bullworth though, given its reputation. Maybe it was the only work she could get?

But even if she was a jerk, I don’t think I'd tell anybody about it, even out of spite.

Mercifully, the bell finally rang and with only a wave I left the room.

Not exactly polite, but I wasn’t in the mood to stay around.

As I made my way out into the hallway of the second floor, a familiar voice called out.

“Hey, Jenny!” 

I turned my head in the direction of the voice, and it turned out to be Pete, walking over to me with what looked like a book bag slung over his shoulder. As he got a bit closer I noticed his hair was slightly damp, like he’d taken a shower recently. Either that, or he’d been on the receiving end of a swirly. Gary mentioned that happening to Pete a lot.

“Hey Pete, what up?” I replied back as he stopped in front of me, barely looking eye-to-eye - I was a bit shorter than him, which certainly said something about my height since Pete barely stood taller than some of the younger kids around here - as he picked at his right ear. Must've been a bit waterlogged.

“Gary wanted me to tell you that after the next class is over, he wants you to go to the library and meet up with Algie. Apparently he needs to get to his locker in order to return some library books.”

“He can't do it himself? Also, why did Gary send you off to tell me, couldn't he have told me this himself?” 

OK, right after saying that, I realized it sounded a bit rude, like I would've preferred talking to Gary instead of Pete. But instead of mulling over it I just waited for Pete to answer.

Pete sighed before explaining.

“Algie is terrified of going into the main school building after dinner is over. The Prefects start patrolling the school grounds since that’s where everybody else is while the rest of the faculty either hang out in the Teacher’s lounge, stay in their classrooms to work on whatever or they leave campus for the day. It basically means the Bullies have free reign of the building until about 8 PM when the janitor locks the building up.”

“Ok, yeah that makes sense, but why couldn't he just tell me this? I mean, he did tell me about Algie needing help when we were in town the other day…” Granted, I could only vaguely remember that. It's a good idea that I'd been reminded at all. But again, why couldn't Gary do it?

Pete looked at me in confusion.

“Y-you guys went into town? Did… anyone else tag along with you two or..?”

“Uh, no. It was just me and him, why?” Pete looked at me weirdly, and suddenly I realized where his thoughts were going, “Get your head out of the gutter Pete.”

Pete put his hands up defensively.

“Hold up, I didn't mean to imply you guys were doing anything like that, I just thought- Oh forget it,” he went to the back of his head, only to suddenly jerk his hand away with a look of disgust. 

Ah, ok it definitely was a swirly then. Poor guy.

…Hopefully he remembers to flush his ears out, toilet water induced ear infections weren't pleasant to deal with…

…So I've heard anyway, typically from the people whose heads I'd shoved in the toilet. Not without reason, of course.

Pete continued talking, changing the topic and giving me the answer to my question. 

“Anyway… the reason Gary couldn't just tell you in person is because the school elections are finishing up, so he's a bit busy with that. Head Boy responsibilities basically.”

I shrugged. I suppose that made sense. He certainly hadn't shut up about how he was the Head Boy and all that jazz during the tour around the school. In my opinion, it was one of those dumb school titles that people overstated the importance of.

…I guess it did have the benefit of avoiding serious repercussions for playing hooky, though. Especially if you were already brown-nosing the Headmaster beforehand.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Anyway, I gotta get to class, see you around,” I turned to leave, already checked out of all the noise going on around me.

I thought I could hear Pete say something else, like he was trying to get my attention again. 

But to me? He might as well not have been there at all.

[faacethefacts]

trick or treat 👻

The first thing Matt processes, as he wakes up, is the smell of food. Eggs, ham. Someone is cooking eggs in his apartment. He doesn't even have any eggs in his fridge, who bought him groceries?

It'd been two days since Matt had dove out of a 4 story window—it was for a reason, he promises, but he will admit now that it was reckless unnecessary and he wasn't thinking straight. He'd, miraculously, been mostly fine—broken his leg though. Foggy had been called, and he'd escorted Matt to the hospital and home, and in the 3 am silence Matt had asked if he was on suicide watch. He was.

Sam had bought him groceries. It was, evidently, his turn to watch him. He hums and mumbles to himself as he cooks, the food smells good. Matt scooches himself to the edge of his bed, grabs his shiny new crutches and hobbles out the bedroom door— now propped open by a comfy chair for the foreseeable future, meaning until his leg heals or his friends decide he really isn't going to kill himself, whenever that is. The crutches make this distinctive clacking sound that can be heard through the entire building probably, and Sam waves a good morning at him as he makes his way over to the couch. It's so casual, and it's especially weird cause Sam's never done this before. Foggy Nelson is experienced in making sure Matt Murdock doesn't kill himself, so it'd felt familiar if not pretty tense. Logically, Sam should have no idea what he's doing, right?

But he's great at working under pressure, and he's amazing at research, he probably looked up a thousand guides or something. "Hey google, how do you deal with your friend(?) who just sort of not really maybe kind of tried to kill himself?" Okay, that makes some amount of sense. Sort of.

"Food." Sam announces, putting a plate on the coffee table in front of him. He sits next to Matt, but leaves a fair amount of space between them, his own plate is slightly smaller and he sits all curled up like a shrimp. The food is good, it's simple and reliable. Sam's never cooked for him before.

"Did you buy me groceries?" Matt asks, after a bit of silence.

"Yeah, I did. I have money now cause I'm back on your payroll, so I can do things like feed my friends." Very clearly making a point, but he says it like a joke. Matt smiles and Sam laughs a little.

"Thanks."

[libertastandem]

Hello! Saw that you were accepting Jigokuraku requests, hope you have a fun time writting! No need to rush and no pressure!

Could I ask for some relationship headcanons for Ganetsusai, Jikka and Shion? (Don't know your character limit so forgive me if these are too many)

Thank you! 😄🥰

These will contain manga spoilers so if you're an anime only or if you just aren't caught up yet, I highly suggest you to read the manga.

(English isn't my first language so please ignore grammatical mistakes lol)

Gantetsusai

Pre Kotaku (Shinsenkyo) Gantetsusai and post Kotaku Gantetsusai are two different people.

Before the arrest, Gantetsusai had no interest in relationships. He would have kept you around just for sex. He would have still respected you if you rejected him or told him you wanted to stop seeing him.

After leaving the island, recieving the pardon and opening the dojo, it would be a whole different thing. He's very dedicated to his job so he'd probably fall for either a swordsmanship student or a patient who requires to visit the dojo often. Once he realizes he has feelings for you, he'd immediately tells you. He'd undestrand if you wanted to keep your relationship as platonic/professional. If you told him you felt the same way he'd ask you to live with him. He'd really appreciate it if you helped him around the dojo. He'd constantly show you how much he cherishes you and trusts you. He isn't really fond of dates (since it would mean he'd have to be away from his dojo) so he prefers to just chill there with you whenever you aren't busy. Overall he'd be a great boyfriend.

Jikka

Jikka is a very "no strings attached" kind of person. He values his freedom in all aspects of his life, including relationships; so he'll never commit to anyone. This, of course, doesn't mean he's a bad lover.

If you were a fellow Asaemon, he'd constantly make flirty advances. He wouldn't do it to force you into dating him or anything! If you rejected him he'd do it for fun and to push your buttons.

If you were a civilian, he'd approach you as soon as he sees you and invite you to join him in his quarters.

Kinda like this.

If you rejected his offer, he'd be pretty disappointed, since he was very intrigued by you. But he'd still respect your decision and bid you farewell.

If you accepted his offer, he'd be very pleased and he'd personally escort you. Your relationship would be strictly sexual at first but the more time he'd spend with you, the more intrigued he'd become. He'd start spending more and more time with you and your relationship wouldn't be strictly sexual anymore. He'd become very attentive and genuinely interested in what you have to say, your stories and the way your mind works. He would give you massages while you talk about whatever. He'd mostly listen to you, which is normally unusual for him. His favorite dates with you are strolls around the city and eating in nice restaurants. He'd rarely let you pay. (He pays with money he stole lol). He doesn't usually get attached to any of his partners. He'd be surprised by the way he feels about you. He definetely wants to keep you close.

You'll have to take care of him when he's drunk. He's a real pain in the ass.

Shion

He'll take your relationship very slow. Because he doesn't really seek out a s/o, it'll take a long time for him to develop, understand and act on his feelings. Shion is very noble and respectful. You know when, in cartoons, tv shows or movies, someone will lay their jacket on puddles so that who they're with won't get their feet wet? Shion is that type of man. He will do his best to spoil you and make you feel special. He doesn't really care for dates so he'll go along with anything you choose. I do think he'd want to marry you eventually but he'd make sure you want to take that step as well. 10/10

[theshypinkflower]

Hai!! Seeing the whole pregnant thing with strade. Here I was thinking about sal. By his character and everything about him from what I can analyze - He definitely voted to get rid of abortions until he was brought up the thought of aborting one of his side chicks and probably struggled to pick. The idea of controlling a woman's womb and flexing off his kids (from your other blog) but then the annoyance of "taking care" of a child and having to pay child support (which I doubt).. He definitely gets mad when he remembers he need pay his nannies and goes on whole rant he could've used that money for prostitutes, cigars, drugs, etc.

Sorry for being such a chatterbox but anyways what would be his reaction to a pregnancy? Different reactions like

A pregnancy he insisted to keep with MC agreeing with the pregnancy or protesting against it and wanting a abortion.

(Also probably depending the MC family, reputation, and wealth since sal seems like a greedy bastard to just a lady pregnant for a quick buck grab.)

what would his first instincts to be? + If this is out of your boundaries you don't need to answer this part but does he have any weird kinks connecting to pregnancy like from your strade post?

Oh honey you won't BELIEVE the way I squealed at this question. So sorry this took me forever to answer btw I kinda forgot it in my drafts. BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME A SAL QUESTION I LOVE GETTING QUESTION ABOUT MY OCS!!!!

Best part is, you are absolutely correct! He definitely voted against abortion. Not only for "religious" purposes (believe me he's the kind of guy to say he's a "Christian" man and has never stepped into a church since he was baptized as a baby) but also for control purposes. He still voted for abortions, but he DEFINITELY still has someone on speed dial for when a side chick needs one. It's either that or accident down the stairs! Or...held down while he twists a coat hanger inside of you...

Normally, his reaction to pregnancy is always "You sure it's mine?" Wouldn't be the first time someone tried baby trapping him. Especially if you're like just his girlfriend and not his wife (I seriously need to make his five wives). Again with the girlfriend thing, he ain't having another kid! His second order of business is to have you get rid of it, and no, adoption is not in the foreseeable future.

His wife however is surprisingly a different story. He is your spouse so I guess he just feels some sort of pride being able to get a woman he's married to (keeping a woman around is a different story). I couldn't tell you why it's different, guess it's the "Christian" in him. I think to him it's just like another heir to be proud of, and because he's married that heir is more legitimate than it would be the child were out of wedlock. He'd probably convince you to have it, but we all know what happens to his wives...

This especially applies to someone above him. He doesn't like people being above him, but hey, more money is more money! This is mostly in the case of his kids. Bro is PRESSURING for grandkids if Derek ever dates someone of a huge company. Just how the cards are laid out for him. He needs to increase profit margins by third quarter after all!

As far as pregnancy kink I wouldn't say he really has one other than breeding. Maybe has a thing for lactation but it's like a one time thing. Has he watched Strade's streams with a pregnant lady? Yeah. Did he like? Yeah up until he saw the mostly formed fetus, that part kinda creeped him out. Seeing the baby just kills his boner (which feels weird writing but that feels important to mention).

If it's the birthing one i mentioned it does nothing for him, he's watched his kids be pushed out it's nothing special (in fact after Derek and Matt he kinda just opted to wait outside). I will say he cringed when the doctor circumsized Derek, he felt it in his very own body (Sal was also circumsized as a baby). It was the one time he sympathized with Derek.

[throughtrialbyfire]

"infodump abt ur ocs" you say?

I'm sorry in advance, you've just opened yourself up to being my sounding board for all the stupid thoughts I keep having about my dumb little stories.

--If Ardwe made one slightly different decision and raised Antoriel herself, she would die worse in an even more miserable place, at the hands of the same person. Their relationship would be so hot-and-cold and Antoriel so emotionally unstable having to deal with her untreated mental illness, she wouldn't even know it was a possibility with a knife to her neck. She would find that to be a normal Fridas evening until it was far, FAR too late.

--If Sigvi's mother had made one slightly different decision and stuck out her marriage instead of leaving, Avalanche would have never happened. Sigvi would have never decided to study restoration magic, and she would have far less pity for an enemy. She would have left Antoriel at the foot of the mountain to die, she wouldn't have even done him the kindness of killing him off the rest of the way.

--If both those mothers made those differing decisions, Avalanche would have kicked off with Ardwe getting the axe and Antoriel fleeing into the Rift to meet Sigvi. Mannior would be the main "antagonist" hunting them down for most of it, but it would turn out he wasn't doing so to turn anyone in, he's also in some very hot water, and can't operate without someone who has a backbone propping him upright. He just wants Antoriel to be his stand-in self worth, given Antoriel has plenty to go around.

The real problem would actually be Sigvi's brother who was a character I cut outside of a brief mention in Avalanche. He joined the Empire where Sigvi (and her two other brothers) would side with the Stormcloaks. He wouldn't be evil, he'd just be pressured into compliance after the Thalmor realized the family history.

--If Mannior finds a way to survive after the conclusion of "Ardwe" don't expect to ever hear from him again. No matter how thrilling a tale you might think it would be to hear of his escape from consequences, I assure you, it is not. He's not going to reflect on his behavior, he's not going to uphold his current beliefs if it creates any amount of conflict for him wherever he goes, he's not even going to spend money on interesting things. He is an unseasoned boiled potato of a person, and I pity him the most of all my characters.

--If I could go back in time, I would try harder to fit in my "Orcs working the debt to society off through military conscription" arch instead of plopping them in at the end of Avalanche like I did. Ushra was supposed to be more of a foil to Ardwe to show she isn't without positive traits at all, and I would have set up an emotional expectation via Garlub for people who had previously read Avalanche that would have made Mannior feel all the more pathetic for anyone coming back to read "Ardwe"... If that makes any sense.

--If Antoriel didn't decide to fight Ardwe at the end of Avalanche, Anja would have still been born. And if I was unsure I wanted her gone, I would have explored what pregnancy does to magicka reserves and use simply because I find the idea of hormones interacting with magicka to be a fascinating thought experiment, and pregnancy is one of the most wild (temporary) hormonal fluctuations a person could go through. I think it would make someone's access to magicka go into crazy extremes one way or the other and make using it very dangerous, for the record.

--I hate trying to come up with Altmer names, and always have. Deciding to write a Thalmor fic wasn't the biggest mistake I've ever made, but it certainly felt that way when I had to come up with a billion Altmer names for it.

I've had more pointless thoughts nobody has asked me for, but I have forgotten them. I hope this distracts you, as confusing as it probably is.

SHAKING YOU. never apologize for rambling!! i love when ppl ramble at me, it's always welcomed here!!

do you know how much i love the butterfly effect of "this decision caused a billion other consequences/decisions leading up to one big consequence" concept. it's literally one of my favorite things and this is SO fucking cool.

"He is an unseasoned boiled potato of a person, and I pity him the most of all my characters." i love that so much, i have several characters who can be summarized by the mantra of, "i will never change, i will never improve, that is a promise". i think it can actually make for an interesting character, knowing that they aren't going to change, no matter the circumstances or their escapes from circumstances, and what that does to them or the situations they land in afterwards.

parents making decisions that echo down to their children is something i love seeing. the consequences of family decisions, trauma, or just "what if this went differently" is always a thrilling thought experiment when writing or coming up with new directions to take stories!! i'm hoping to incorporate a bit of that into how i write athenath's relationship with his mother, whatever tiny strain of their relationship remains.

i'm shaking your hand on the whole "if i could go back in time and change this detail". i wanted to incorporate emeros being a hunter and skilled at skinning animals/tanning hide, as it's very important down the line, but i couldn't figure out how, so random wolf event happened. it's the way it goes when you're writing, and all you can do really is work with it the best you can! i understand entirely, wanting to set up an emotional payoff you feel would have been better than what happened is such a real experience aughhhhh

ohhhh i love the idea of hormones having an effect on magicka reserves/magic in general! that's such an interesting concept to play around with, especially with the idea of it becoming very dangerous. that lends itself to all sorts of ideas on what aldmeri/bosmeri/dunmeri pregnancy would be like, or any situation where hormones were involved, such as transitioning or hormonal disorders, or even puberty and how that would impact magicka for someone!

relatable, making fantasy names can be such a nightmare, and knowing there's such a huge amount of already canon altmer names can be so exhausting because it's as though all options are taken. it's a challenge for sure, and i'm always impressed when people have a bunch of altmer ocs!!

i'm eating all of this up, i love reading about people's ocs and i'm always always down for infodumping!! thank you for sending this!!

[coldxxwinter]

It had been a little bit since he had seen Eden, and Winter smiled at the sight of his friend. "Hey!" he greeted her, happy she'd come to his stall, but then Winter felt that familiar unease he felt with anyone he'd known for a long time (especially if they'd been close before his accident). With new people, Winter felt more free to be his messed up self, but with people from his past, he felt pressure to be the version of himself that was still whole. But that wasn't anyone else's fault, so Winter told himself to relax. He knew Eden, knew she was kind, and he didn't need to be worried. Maybe if he told himself that enough, he'd believe it.

"Well pumpkin honey is made when bees pollinate pumpkin flowers," Winter explained. "This honey is actually from last year when I grew pumpkins, which...was an experience." He laughed at the memory (and was happy that he actually remembered), recalling, "Yeah...the pumpkins kind of took over a big chunk of my yard, so that's definitely not an every year thing." Looking at the next honey selection, Winter told Eden, "Pumpkin spice is a bit more of a...manufactured flavor I guess. It's not just a natural flavor you get from bees pollinating certain flowers. You make it by blending raw honey with pumpkin pie spices, so that's probably why you feel like you taste pumpkin pie since...well, you kind of do."

Handing Eden the honey, Winter told her, "I saved some of the lavender especially for you." He hadn't even put it out for sale, instead taking it from behind his market stall where he'd placed it while setting up. He hadn't made lavender honey this year, but he had several bottles leftover from last year with a note that said, "Save for Eden," which Winter was glad for now. "No charge though, these are on the house," Winter insisted. He didn't sell his honey to make money, he just did it because he liked it, so his friends would never pay for theirs (well, within reason...he might charge if Eden wanted all his bottles or something). After bagging Eden's honey, Winter looked around at the other market stalls and asked, "Have you found anything else around here that's interesting - or tasty?"

Eden had a list of which stalls she needed to visit and Winter's was on the top. She'd been a customer for several years, when he was much younger and this wasn't even a business. That was why she came back home after her incident, the familiarity of this town was all that she could possibly handle. Taking a quick look at all the flavors, the witch grabbed an apple slice and dipped it into the pumpkin honey. Closing her eyes with a smile, she let out a soft hum before opening them and smirking at her friend. "I really don't know how you do it! I mean of course pumpkin and honey go together but it tastes like you put a pie in there."

"I'll take a bottle of that and the lavender honey you know I love."

[smileyoongle]

Falling for a lounge singer (Yandere!Mafia! BTS)// Kim Seokjin

Requested anonymously.

Summary: Working as a part time singer, you never thought you'd find yourself becoming the centre of attention of a man's life, especially one who you can't run from.

Word Count: 2K

You bowed before the audience at your workplace, an empty smile tugging at your lips as you finally walked down the stage and made your way to the bar. This was the third consecutive day in a week where your boss had made you work overtime without paying you for it. You knew that as a singer who performed in a small but reputable lounge bar, you weren’t worth that much. In fact, the reality was that you could be replaced at any given time, the city not having any less talented singers than you and that made you insecure about your job all the time. But either way, you were just stuck here, trying to push your way through every single day just to clear all your debts.

Life was unfair. It had always been.

Sitting down on a bar stool, you leaned across the counter and rested your elbows on it, the cold surface feeling good against the warmth of your skin. The speakers in the lounge were now playing the latest radio hits, the beats making your head hurt as you were handed a glass of water by the bartender who looked at you with a pitiful smile. Thanking him, you sipped on the water before your manager made his way to you and placed a champagne coloured envelope before you. Frowning in confusion, you gave him a questioning look which he returned with a nervous but angry expression.

“Someone left a tip for you,” he sneered, clearly not liking the fact that you had received money which wasn’t given by him. An asshole is what he was, his intentions of seeing you worried sick becoming more and more obvious with every passing night.

Pursing your lips, you unsealed the envelope only to find a lot of money, money that was probably worth your salary of six months. Your eyes widened in surprise, lips parting as you tried to make sense of why someone would tip you off with so much cash. You weren't even that good and you could never be that good.

“Who?” you asked, following your manager’s gaze to the exit where a bunch of men were making their way out. Almost immediately, you were on your feet with the envelope tightly clutched between your fingers. You needed to know who this man was that was so generous to you. Needed to know what about you was worth so much.

Holding your dress with one hand, you made your way towards the exit, eyes worriedly fixated on the doorway which was now empty. The bouncers nodded at you in acknowledgement while you forced a smile upon your lips and exited the bar, a part of you thinking that he must have left. But just as you came in contact with the cold night outside, your eyes took in the sight of an expensive car with a man dressed in an equally expensive suit surrounded by, you were guessing, his bodyguards. You couldn’t see his face yet, only his back being your line of sight but judging by everything, he certainly was someone in power. But if that was the case, what was he doing in a place so...average?

Deciding to end your curiosity, you called out to him, not knowing that this man was going to turn your life around completely. In a good way or bad? That was for you to choose.

“Excuse me, Si-”

Right then, your heel decided to give away, your ankle twisting painfully before you tripped...except you didn’t. Instead, you felt two hands taking a hold of your waist to steady you, your hands immediately latching onto their shoulder in return. And that’s when you finally saw him.

Kim Seokjin.

The man who was known to be running the biggest drug cartel around the country.

Your breath hitched as your eyes widened in recognition, a shiver running down your spine upon the realisation that he was here and he was holding you. Your fingers involuntarily tightened around his bicep, his eyes intently taking in your face as if you were his prey and he, your predator.

“Are you hurt, sweetheart?” he asked, snapping you out of your daze. Swallowing thickly, you shook your head, too afraid to even move because what could you even do? If you had known that Kim Seokjin was the one who had tipped you off, you would have probably just handed the money to your manager without confronting him. But here you were, stuck in a situation that you didn’t know how to get out of.

Your ears perked up at the sound of a car door opening, your eyes darting towards the black vehicle that now mocked at you with its open door. Jin swiftly picked you up without a word, a small yelp escaping your lips as you stared at him with fear and panic.

Were you being kidnapped?

Before you could think any further, you were placed onto a cool leather seat, your legs dangling to the side where the door proceeded to stay open. You watched Jin kneel down before you, his hands gently taking off your heel to inspect your ankle as a frown made its way to your forehead. The sudden act of kindness was making you very confused and you didn’t know what to do about it.

Maybe he just treated people nicely before he got rid of them?

A sudden pressure to your ankle had you whimpering and pulling your foot away, your teary eyes meeting Jin’s as he looked up at you with a soft gaze only to have his heart ache upon seeing you in so much distress.

In all honesty, this wasn’t the first time Jin was seeing you and the fact that he had tipped you a fortune was no coincidence either. He had walked into this bar for a deal about a month ago when he saw you, your voice being the first thing that captivated him. You looked absolutely stunning in a satin dress with your lips stained red, your smile taking his breath away even though it was just for show. Ever since that night, he just knew he had to see you and know you even if it meant coming to this place.

When you went to the rooftop to cry your heart out, he was right there in the shadows, wondering just what he could do to take your worries away. When you were being yelled at by your landlord, he was right there holding himself back from ruining that man's life. In short, every single time you thought you were alone, you weren't. Jin was always there, slowly figuring out where he was going to fit himself in your life. This tip that he had given you was guaranteed to solve your problems but along with that, it also made sure that you would want to see him. And that's all he really needed.

“You’re hurt, sweetheart. I don’t think you can walk-”

“Are you going to kill me?” Jin frowned upon hearing your question, feeling a little hurt that the girl he was so insane about, thought that he'd lay a hand on her, let alone kill her. But he had only himself to blame for having an image that was tainted with the blood of many, innocents and devils alike.

"Why would you think that, Y/N?" He asked, placing his hand on the empty space beside you. Your lips trembled as you struggled to answer, your eyes taking in the number of guards around you two. As if reading your mind, Jin quickly dismissed them, your shoulders slightly relaxing as you watched them walk away to where you couldn't see them. Feeling a little hopeful, you wiped away a tear that fell down your cheek and held your head up.

"I know who you are and what you do," you answered, biting your lip as you watched a wave of disappointment wash over him. Jin had been left speechless and he knew that, his jaw clenching and unclenching out of habit. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he sighed, his hand gently taking yours into his as you tensed in your seat.

"I need you to listen to me carefully, sweetheart," he stated, drawing your attention to him and him only.

"I have been watching you for a while now," he confessed with apology filled eyes looking right into yours, "and hurting you, is the last thing I want."

Those words had you feeling breathless, too many emotions bubbling up your throat and making you wanna throw up. You had been the subject of a very dangerous man for quite some time and you had no idea. On top of it all, he said he didn't want to hurt you and you found yourself believing him. Maybe it was the way his eyes held so much adoration for you or the way he held onto you like you were a fragile little doll, you didn't know.

"Wh-what do you want then?"

"To love you," he answered without any hesitation, his hand coming up to brush away your hair from your cheek. His touch was warm, almost comforting, something you hadn't had in a very long time. Having been so lonely all this time, the idea of being cared for and loved seemed too tempting to let go. And knowing just how powerful Kim Seokjin was, it was very obvious that no one would ever dream of hurting you, be it mentally or physically.

But, were you really willing to choose comfort over the fact that he was a murderer?

"M-Mr. Kim, you don't even know me. I'm a normal girl who has a simple life and being roped into yours is the last thing I need."

You stated, noticing the way his eyes held a hint of sadness that seemed to be barely there. Swallowing thickly, you stood up with a pained expression, quickly taking your heels in your hand as you glanced at Jin one last time. This was the right decision, in your mind. Because there was nothing worse than having to live with a man, knowing he was cold and brutal. It was almost as if you'd be his partner in crime, something you just couldn't digest.

Limping towards the bar, you sighed in relief as a sudden silence surrounded you. Jin hadn't said a word to your rejection, making you think that he had understood what you were trying to say. The chilly air felt comforting now, your breath coming to you in waves of warmth. But before you could open the door to the bar, you heard a light click behind you.

Frowning, you turned around, your eyes growing wide upon coming face to face with the muzzle of a gun. Seokjin stood holding it firmly, his eyes red and angry. Your lips began to quiver immediately, your ears taking in the sound of his guards gathering around you.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, did it sound like you had a choice?" He sneered, stepping forward and pressing the muzzle against your forehead. You slowly shook your head, a full stream of tears falling down your cheeks as you dropped your heels and joined your hands together.

"Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Shh sweetheart, shh," he whispered, sliding the gun down your cheek and pressing it against your jaw. You could feel his arm holding your waist firmly, a scared whimper making its way out of your lips.

"You have no idea just how crazy you've been driving me, Y/N. Ever since I've seen you, I haven't stopped thinking about you," he mumbled, staring into your eyes so intensely that if not for the present situation, you would've deemed it romantic.

"Every second I've been thinking of things I'd like to do to you. And I can't have you take that away from me now, can I?" You closed your eyes, your body shaking as you sobbed at his words. The proximity was starting to suffocate you, your hands desperately trying to push Jin away from you but he was too strong.

"Let me go, Jin. Please let me go," you begged, your eyes drooping shut as you grew tired, your head falling against his chest. His hand came up to the back of your head, caressing your hair as he pulled you flush against him.

"Not any time soon, sweetheart," he replied, suddenly pulling back and gesturing the guards to the car. Large hands came to grip your arms, a scream sounding through the night as you were pushed inside the car you were seated in before. Your palms pressed against the leather, the door closing shut behind you as you sat up and banged your fists against the window. Spotting Jin outside, you cried louder, hoping he'd take pity on you. Instead he leaned down to where your palms rested on the window, placing his exactly against yours.

"I promise you'll be happy, sweetheart. I promise."

A/N: Guess who's back! That's right! Me! A dumb bitch! Anyway, I'm so sorry for not posting for like more than a year but for some reason, my brain went on a break and it just didn't wanna come back. So much has happened in the time I was away and I wanna give y'all so many deets like, boy trouble- check, best friend turning out to be a bitch trouble- check, getting two surgeries within a span of two months- check. In short, my life is a mess and I'm loving it.

Also, this turned out really long for like all the members, which is why I'm gonna post them separately. I hope I give you guys the same vibes from my writing as before. Or I'd die from shame. Okay I'm off now! Tell me if you liked it.

[arcxnumvitae]

Mikael isn't one to run late. He blames it on Isa mostly, a good kind of blame because it keeps him punctual, reliable. And he definitely is never late when meeting Ruaidhri for dinner, usually a bar restaurant hybrid situation one of them discovers. Ru, his gorgeous, seductive flower. His drosera, his sundew. Mikael would gladly stay trapped by him forever if given the chance.

But he has to force his mind off Ru and focus on changing his shirt at the red light he was sitting at, willing it to change faster as he sheds the blood stained buttonup. He's in his undershirt when green reflects off his windshield, definitely speeding down the asphalt and the few blocks away he was. Stupid red-light making him even later.

He parks, tying his hair up in a messy half-bun situation as he grabs a fresh shirt from the backseat and pulls it on. Mikael feels a pang when he sees the fae standing outside for him. Hopefully Ruaidhri will give him the chance to make it up to him later, because Mikael can think of maaany ways he'll apologize.

He's out of the car and finishing the buttons on his shirt as makes crosses the street, mouth opening as his hand raises in greeting when a man runs at him from his blind side.

The shoes on the pavement, faster and approaching louder still makes it so he can jerk backwards before the fist connects with his jaw. Eye snaps over to his assailant and he recognizes the ink set in the skin of the guys neck. Most guys Mikael approached for late payments either begged for an extention, handed it over right away out of fear, or handed it over after a little...convincing.

Some...were forced out of their money and then tried to take it back. Guy must have tailed him, he'd been too focused on Ru and running Kate to notice. No matter.

The blonde's hand snaps out to grip the assailant's wrist and it's a quick twist, a deafening crack, before he releases and it falls limp at the man's side, other hand trying and failing to connect. The sidewalk is empty thankfully, street quiet when Mikael kicks the man's feet from onder him, watching him fall to the pavement and try to catch his (probably broken) wrist on the way down. A nice shoe presses to the man's arm, applying slowly increasing pressure as he couches as he leans down.

"You are terribly lucky that I have a gorgeous dinner date waiting for me or we'd be having a much longer talk. But to your benefit, I'm going to send you off with a warning to your boss. Pay on time and we won't have any further problems. Understood?" his hand slaps the other man on the cheek, giving a pleasant smile before he straightens, heading across the streets as the man scrambles off the sidewalk, hand cradled to his chest before making it off down the street.

"Liebling! I'm sorry I'm late, and I'm even more sorry you had to see something so...unsightly. Are you alright? Are you...mad?"

@strawberryxdreams || Unprompted!

It was growing difficult not to check his watch every couple of seconds. It wasn't like Mikael at all to be late and already the fae's thoughts were winding down more worried corners. Had something happened to him? It felt silly for the thought to just now be occurring to him, but wasn't Mikael's job dangerous? A memory flashed through Ruaidhri's head, one of Mikael arriving home, arm bloody but still with that same endearing smile on his face, and the fae immediately jolted up. It didn't matter how, he would track Mikael down and ensure that he was okay! Somehow.

But thankfully the search was brought to a halt the moment it began when Ruaidhri's golden gaze caught sight of Mikael rushing to him, blessedly in one piece, stunningly handsome as always, and about to greet him. So distracted was he, in fact, that he nearly didn't notice the man rushing at Mikael until it was almost too late.

"Mikael--!" Panic shot through him, heavy bells jangling in his head as he took a half-step forward and expression shifting in an instant. If that man hurt Mikael, laid one finger on him, then he would leave him so deep in a glamour that the mortal's fragile mind would splinter within seconds. But instead his thoughts went down a...decidedly different direction when Mikael fended off the attack.

The first startling snap of bone had the fae wincing, but when Mikael's foot pressed down onto the other, his thoughts quickly began to grow fuzzy. Distracted. Something warm curled in his gut at the sight, at how easily Mikael commanded the entire situation. He wanted...he wanted Mikael to bully him too.

As Mikael finally approached, Ruaidhri was practically in a trance (the only saving grace for the fleeing man, otherwise he would have gotten glamoured to insanity) and he gave no response to Mikael's worried greeting. Instead, his fingers were too busy curling into the other's collar to tug him closer, pressing his body against Mikael's solid warmth both to steady himself. And so that Mikael could feel his sudden hardness pressing against him.

The slap, the smile, his gorgeous shoe pressing down against the man...

"Can you pin me down as well?" Ruaidhri's voice was instantly breathless, lips parted helplessly, as arms wound around Mikael. Wide, needy eyes seemed to drink him in as he pressed ever closer. "Could you be mean to me like that too?" Forget the dinner, if Mikael didn't whisk him away that moment to passionately ravish him then he just might perish on the spot.

[where-are-jimins-jams]

Bts scenario: Reaction to you giving them a gift

A/N: I have been busy with school so I'm really sorry for not posting as much. This was actually my friend's idea so credit to her for giving me inspiration xD I'm also trying something different with the writing here so let me know what you think <3

____________________________________

It wasn't hard to notice that he was working hard or that him and the others were stressed for the comeback. All the late nights, skipping meals and pressure to not disappoint the fans was really taking a toll on him. Today was no different. You had stayed up and waited for him to come home so you can give him the present you bought. It wasn't anything too special but it was something he's been wanting for a while so you figured you'd get it for him. Walking through the door he tiredly takes off his shoes puts the keys down, only now noticing you standing a few feet away holding the wrapped goodie

SEOKJIN

Seeing you standing there he'd walk over to you pulling you into a hug. When he actually takes notice of the object in your hand he smiles really wide and feels quite touched that you've not only listened to him talk about this thing but have taken time from your day to go and get it for him. No matter how tired he is he can't stop grining at you thinking to himself how he scored such a wonderful girlfriend

"Ah how did I get so lucky"

YOONGI

He'd probably be very surprised seeing you awake at this hour. He'd usually find you asleep on the couch as a result of a failed mission to wait for him. He doesn't mind tho. He could never. It means a lot to him that you even try to do it. As his eyes travell from yours to the present he feels a warm feeling bubble in his chest. Not because of the actual present, which he appreciates no matter what, but because at that moment with one sweet gesture you've managed to make his day x20 better. Very little people have that impact on him and he couldn't be happier that you're one of them

"I love you and thank you for this but we should really get some sleep"

HOSEOK

If he felt exhausted a second ago it was all gone now. He'd be super excited to see you've gotten him something. He gets even more excited when he sees it's the beanie he wanted to buy that time at the mall but eventually forgot. He'd be so super grateful to have someone like you in his life and promises to take you on a date tomorrow night to even out the odds.

"My jagiya got me a present how cuuuute"

NAMJOON

He'd be so tired and worn out that he only notices the present when you mention it as he leaves a small kiss on your forehead. Taking the object from your hands he flashes his dimples at you asking you want it's for. After you explain how you've been worried about him and wanted to brighten his day he gives you the biggest grin he could muster feeling truly loved by the small action. The feeling only grows when he actually opens it and finds the scarf he's been talking about getting but has been too busy to actually do it. He'd gently cup you face as he leaves a soft kiss on your lips pulling you into his arms staright after

"Ah you're so cute come here"

JIMIN

This boy would be so ecstatic and smiley when he sees you've waited up AND gotten him a present. He'd immediately pull you close burying his head in the crook of your neck telling you how greatful he is and how much he loves you. When you tell him the reason behind it he assures you that everything will be back to normal once the comeback is over and they're on their regural schedules. He'd take your hand and lead you to the bedroom where you two fall asleep cuddled up next to each other and neither of you would have it any other way.

"I've been wanting this for a while thank you so much jagiya"

TAEHYUNG

He probably saw something on his way to practise that reminded him of you and he bought it so he was absolutely thrilled that you've done the same thing. As soon as he tells you he has a gift for you aswell the room would be filled with laughter. It would kind of feel like Christmas morning except at night and not on Christmas but with the same aura of excitement and happiness. As soon as he realises what the gift is he'd smother you with kisses telling you how wonderful you are and how glad he is that you're in his life.

"Hey I'm supposed to be the one buying gifts here stop that"

JUNGKOOK

He was particularly tired that night so saying that he was happy he had a hug to come back to was an understatement. When you give him the present he'd tell you that you don't have to get him anything or spend money on him and that being here with him was enough. It does make him feel very giddy on the inside tho even if he doesn't admit it. He'd probably give you a tight hug and give you a little spin after he sees it's the hoodie that was out of stock the last time he went to the mall to go get it. As a thank you you'd most definately wake up the next morning with the breakfast and coffee waiting for you at the dining table.

"You don't have to spend money on me seeing you at the end of the day is more than enough"

// I do not own any of the gifs listed above credit goes to the original owners //

[necessaryvent]

Anxiety. Can't sleep.

I've struggled to sleep since our big decision became real.

I don't know what to do with myself and my feelings. At times I'm not even sure what my feelings even are. I don't want to overanalyse or overthink everything but I feel like I should figure stuff out a bit because it might help my anxiety. I don't even know.

My life is about to change in a huge way. I have spent a lot of this year living with my parents. I have become used to some psychological independence. I am taking a leap of faith in moving back in with my husband (as he is too). Moving itself is stressful. The kids' feelings and needs are important to me and they will be experiencing all kinds of emotions and changes themselves.

I know our decision is the right decision. I don't doubt that part. I think this is just one of those 'omg a huge thing is happening and I'm freaking out' situation. I really hope that by the time our shit is moved in, I'll start to feel less crazy anxiety.

All of the positives outweigh the negatives, but my dumb animal brain likes to forget that and just freak out generally.

Sleeping here is hard because there are fucking noisy birds and other wildlife. There are cats. There is the knowledge that my kids are sharing walls with me and not wanting to disturb them. So many fucking noises.

I plan on spending some time at the house today and Thursday - moving things and organising and just generally soaking up what it will feel like to have ownership over it again. I hope this will help me to feel a bit more in control, empowered and excited rather than freaked out. I need to feel like the house is mine again.

Because I think feeling like I'm moving into 'my husband's place' is not good for me mentally and that dynamic/mentality has to shift for both of us or this won't go very smoothly.

I need to feel like I'm returning home. Because I am. I need to feel like that is my life again (the good parts - fresh start of course).

I worry a little I guess. I don't want to be moving back because the housing market is shit (despite the money I made from sale of our old place). I don't want to be moving back because I don't want to live with my parents anymore. I don't want to feel like the 18 year old dickhead I once was just making big life decisions without understanding the consequences.

I guess my anxiety is not necessarily about my husband. It's about the reality of having to deal with his family again. I want to rebuild a HEALTHY relationship with them (if possible - it's on them if it won't work) and we have to negotiate Christmas with the two families not long after. I know my husband has kept them in the dark a lot about our situation so I guess I'm worried about their reactions if we blindside them. I am probably anxious about whether this transition will go ok with both of us anxious and adjusting to big changes. Because it would stress any normal person out no matter how much they love each other. I also (even though I'm sure it's not a great idea) have probably had this sense of 'waiting' for my life to re-start. So I've probably unconsciously put myself on hold until we are back together/until I move out from my parents' house. That's a lot of (self created) pressure. It's probably not what a therapist would agree with and I know this. Maybe I should have worked through that.

We lived there less than a year before we were separated. And much of that year I felt financially held back (not to mention lockdowns for Covid). I feel like I was ripped off! I am glad to have another chance. Any longer not living there and it would be bad because then it would become my husband's house only and I don't know if I could have come back. He would have lived there alone longer than he'd lived there with us.

I just have to remember: one foot in front of the other.

I also need to stop beating myself up and worrying so much. I have so much to be proud of. I may have felt 'on hold' and I may have felt like a regressed teen with unresolved issues at my parents' house, but I did a lot. I went back to work. I had the courage to protect our kids from a lot of emotional instability. I learned to be my own person again. To care for myself. I had to face some tough stuff I've been carrying a long time. I co-parented amicably with my husband. We showed people (most importantly our kids) what a healthy 'break up' looks like. I have been able to forgive things I thought I would be bitter about forever (so has he).

I got through this year. Even that would be enough.

I protected my family. Maybe I felt like I was in hiding, but I protected them and that's more to the point.

Today I will go and buy nice things for the house and I will enjoy the space.