#he may have lost the game but I think he won in his own growth as a person

[dragonfiremagic]

Karmic sacrifice.

[fantastic-nonsense]

I genuinely think the most of the differences between the Pevensies in the books vs. the movies can be explained by one simple fact: the Movie!Pevensies are fully cognizant of and emotionally attached to their experiences in Narnia after returning to England, while the Book!Pevensies have a notable emotional distance to their memories of Narnia

It's an explicit plot point in the books that the longer you stay in one world, the easier it becomes to forget about the other one (or think of it as a dream). Additionally, while the Pevensies do remember what happened and are permanently changed by their experiences in Narnia, they seemingly forget a lot of their Narnian-learnt knowledge and skills. This gets briefly mentioned in Prince Caspian, when Lucy talks about swimming:

When they had drunk from the well and splashed their faces, they all went down the stream again to the shore and stared at the channel which divided them from the mainland. “We’ll have to swim,” said Edmund.

“It would be all right for Su,” said Peter (Susan had won prizes for swimming at school). “But I don’t know about the rest of us.” By “the rest of us” he really meant Edmund, who couldn’t yet do two lengths at the school baths, and Lucy, who could hardly swim at all.

“Anyway,” said Susan, “there may be currents. Father says it’s never wise to bathe in a place you don’t know.”

“But, Peter,” said Lucy, “look here. I know I can’t swim for nuts at home—in England, I mean. But couldn’t we all swim long ago—if it was long ago—when we were Kings and Queens in Narnia? We could ride then too, and do all sorts of things. Don’t you think—”

“Ah, but we were sort of grown-up then,” said Peter. “We reigned for years and years and learned to do things. Aren’t we just back at our proper ages again now?” -PC, Chapter 3

So she learned how to swim while growing up in Narnia, but forgot it again when she returned to her own world and was back at her proper age. But the longer the Pevensies stayed in Narnia, the more those previously-learned skills came back to them:

This was real broad-sword fighting. The great thing is to slash at your enemy’s legs and feet because they are the part that have no armor. And when he slashes at yours you jump with both feet off the ground so that his blow goes under them. This gave the Dwarf an advantage because Edmund, being much taller, had to be always stooping.

I don’t think Edmund would have had a chance if he had fought Trumpkin twenty-four hours earlier. But the air of Narnia had been working upon him ever since they arrived on the island, and all his old battles came back to him, and his arms and fingers remembered their old skill. He was King Edmund once more. -PC, Chapter 8

The same general principle appears to apply to their memories and the emotions attached to them (which I think is one of the main reasons why Book!Susan is so easily able to dismiss Narnia as a "silly children's game" when she gets older). Narnia's magic protects visitors from feeling the pain and suffering associated with being de-aged/losing their home/etc when they leave Narnia by forcing a mental and emotional distance from their experiences, and they're only able to re-forge those connections once they return.

By contrast, the Movie!Pevensies are acutely and painfully aware of what they've lost by returning to England, and it dramatically alters the equation for everyone involved.

It turns the level-headed, loving, tired Books!Peter into the angst-ridden, hotheaded Movie!Peter who's constantly trying to prove himself. It turns Susan's story inside out, because it gives her entirely different reasons and motivations for possibly wanting to forget about Narnia and dismiss it as a "silly game." It gives Edmund a narrative reason to retain the massive character growth he'd experienced in LWW, act as the steadying rock in the siblings' lives, and feel like he has something to prove in VDT without Peter around.

And while I think Lucy remains the least changed between the books and movies, there are several added dimensions to her fully remembering her first fifteen years in Narnia that really start to peek their heads out by the time we get to VDT (particularly her desire to feel grown up and desired by the men around her; if she's truly feeling her age, I think there's an additional nuance to that plot that goes beyond the vanity and "she wants to be like Susan" dimensions from the book).

Do I think this accounts for all of the characterization differences? No. But I think it's a massively understated difference that doesn't get talked about enough as being a major driver of how differently the Pevensies act and react to things in the later books vs. how they act and react in the movies.

[mostlyscenarios]

Knee Pads (18+)

Summary: Bokuto always looks forward to you being at his matches, you being there gives him a confidence boost and something to look forward to after the game. 

Characters: Bokuto X Reader, short features of MSBY. 

TW & Tags: 18+, PWP(I mean, it doesn’t just dive in?), smut (blowjob)

Word Count: 2k+

A/N: gn!reader. Cosmos SA is a completely made up name, I looked at a picture on my wall and thought of it. I had to take multiple breaks while writing this because I was getting horny. There has got to be a better word for balls and I will find it. 

Please don’t not repost my work anywhere or use any part of it! Likes and reblogs are appreciated. 

After almost every game Bokuto played, there was a reward waiting for him, regardless of whether he won or lost. Knowing you were waiting for him was the best motivation there was, and the reward including you on your knees for him? He could hardly control himself. Trying to keep focused on the game was no problem, he knew the sooner he finished the game the quicker he could get to you. That was his thought process at least, but this game seemed to be taking an exceptionally long time. The MSBY team was going up against Cosmos SA and they were entering the third round. The last two rounds had been thrilling, the team they were up against was a good challenge for them. What MSBY "lacked", their team was skilled in. Maybe under different circumstances the thought of being unskilled at something would be upsetting for Bokuto, but now he enjoyed the rivalry it led to. His teammates didn't have time to deal with him upset like Akaashi did, so his so-called emo mode only happened after a lost game (which you would quickly fix with a good hug and positive affirmations). His character growth since he got out of high school was impressive.

Before the third round had started, Bokuto started searching for you in the crowds. Due to being at a different arena, your usual spot was taken by the opposite teams fans. He found you towards the front row, waving your hands to catch his attention. He swore he saw the glimmer of your silver ring that matched his own. He had to take off his before every game but as soon as got off the court he put it back on. Since you to had started dating and gotten married, you had only missed 4 games total. You support kept him going (yes, even the hyperactive man got tired sometimes). He waved in your general direction, trying to not to call any attention to you in the crowds. Taking his place on the court, he tuned into the team in front of him- ready to win the game for you and his team. 

MSBY won after a series of spikes made by Bokuto went unblocked. He celebrated after each one, glancing in your direction making sure you saw him. That had gone unchanged since you started dating, he wanted to make you proud. After giving thanks to their supporters, he escaped to the locker room, avoiding the reporters hoping to ask them questions. He normally would stay around and answer a few questions but right now he needed to see you. By the time he had got to the locker room you were already in the hallway waiting for him. 

“Kou! You did great out there babe!” You wrapped your arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek at the same time. 

“Did you see my spike get through the one block?! Even Sakusa looked impressed.” 

“I did, I’m proud of you.” You could practically see him inflating, he lived for being praised- especially when the praise came from you.

Bokuto started to lean down to give you another kiss but before he could, the door slammed open. “That damn Atsumu, he could have at least warmed me before that fan hugged me,” Sakusa shuttered, not even noticing you and Bokuto by the lockers and going straight to the showers. 

Bokuto rolled his eyes dramatically and finishing what he had started seconds ago, he found your lips quickly giving you a sweet kiss. “I’m gonna go shower, you can wait here if you want.” 

“I’ll wait outside, I’m sure the other boys will be in here any minute.” 

“Okay,” Bokuto took his shirt off quickly, “I’ll be 5 minutes tops.”

You walked out of the locker room and caught Atsumu’s eyes, “did you two have any fun yet?” Astumu knew about your little adventures in the locker room with Bokuto. He had once caught you getting up from your knees and it didn’t take much to put it together, he had teased you ever since. He tried to tease Bokuto about it too but Bo just got proud and wanted to talk about his sex life and how good you were to him. 

“No, and no you can’t join us.” You answered him, remembering the time Atsumu had half jokingly asked once if he could join you sometime but you rejected the idea without a second thought. 

“Aw man, you got any cute friends you could set me up with?” Atsumu asked, leaning against the wall. 

“I’ll have to think on that. Now go shower, you smell horrid.” You pinched you nose, exaggerating. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Atsumu waved before walking into the locker room, where Hinata and Meian followed only moments after him. 

A few minutes later Bokuto walked out in a fresh outfit, his hair still a bit damp from his shower. He was handsome as always. You could tell that he used the body wash he had got with you after mentioning you liked the way it smelt. 

“I think that was record time Kou. Do we have somewhere to be?”

“No, I just wanted to be with you.” He leaned into you, giving a quick suggestive kiss on your neck.

“Hmm, are you sure you don’t just want something from me?” You grinned letting him wrap his arms around your shoulders. 

“Maybe��” He trailed off, looking around to see if anyone was there. “They will probably be out of the shower soon, you know Sakusa takes a long time.” 

“Follow me.” You grabbed his hand, pulling him to the staircases which were supposed to be staff only. “I think we can entertain ourselves here for a bit.” 

Maybe using the word entertain at this time was not a good idea since Bokuto was getting eager. 

“Why can’t we just do it here?” Bokuto said realizing the secluded staircase was empty, prompting a quick (gentle) slap on his chest. 

“Shush! There may be people around, I don’t want to take any chances.”

“...can we make out then?”

“Koutaro…” You started but changed your mind, “fine. But only a little.”

Thank goodness you two didn’t start your real activity because a couple of staff members walked through. They recognized Bokuto even without his uniform so they didn’t say anything to him about being in the employee only area. Before long about 20 minutes had passed of you chatting, time flew when you were with Bokuto. He chatted about the game; how spiking made him feel, and how great his teammates were. You listened attentively the whole time, and giving him input along the way. He asked you about your morning and apologized for leaving so early. Bokuto always made sure to give you a good cuddle before finally leaving to go to his warm ups. He just loved you so much, he wanted to give you the world. As you talked he started to focus on your lips, a bit shiny from your chapstick. 

He couldn’t help his growing arousal, and you noticed his fidgeting. When you said everyone should have cleared the locker room by now Bokuto literally swept you off your feet. Pushing the doors open, you quickly thanked the higher power(s) for letting the locker room be clear since he hadn't bothered to check before bursting in. He sat down on the benches towards the back of the room; just in case if anyone came in you had some protection. You were still on his lap, lips attached to his, then his neck, his chest, until you slid down on the floor to work your way down to his gray sweatpants. 

“You did so good today baby.” You murmured, gripping the sides of his sweats to set him free. 

“Wait a minute.” He put his hand in front of his crotch and you quickly pulled away; albeit a bit confused. He leaned back to dig in his duffle bag with his gear, then he pulled out his knee pads that he wore in todays game. “Put these on, I don’t want your knees to hurt.”

“Thanks Kou.” You gave him smile and pulled the knee pads up on each leg.

“Anything for you.” He replied, shifting a bit so you sit easier between his legs.

You got back into the same position, but this time comfier thanks to the knee pads. “Now, where were we?”

“Here.” Bokuto was quick, lifting his hips up while you pulled down his sweatpants. Licking your lips, you gently squeezed his thighs making sure to add a few kisses along the way- but still not where he wanted you to be.Trailing your hands over the seems of his briefs, you decided to leave them on a bit to tease him. First cupping him and then kissing his length through the fabric, you made your way back up to his lips pulling him to you so you didn’t have to leave your sitting position. He was getting the full treatment today, he was so patient waiting for the locker room to be cleared out. He could have easily taken you to your shared car and gotten in the backseat, but he know there wasn’t much room (though you two had made it work in the past).  

“No more teasing, please.” He begged, feeling his briefs dampen just the slightest from his precum. After hearing him, you made eye contact with him. He immediately jutted out his bottom lip to give you a pout while giving you puppy dog eyes. 

You wanted to giggle at his pleas but you were in the zone and didn’t want to break your concentration. “Patience Kou. I promise I’ll make you feel good.” 

Despite your words you gently tugged his briefs down, showing you his cock in its full glory. Feeling the cool air against him was a crime when he could be inside your warm mouth. Thankfully, you answered his wordless plea and put the tip in your mouth, rubbing it with your tongue in a circle then down the center getting a taste of salty precum. Pulling away he let out whine that got quickly cut off when you licked a straight line down his length before taking him in your mouth. 

The sounds made by your mouth while taking him were so erotic it took all his self control not to buck his hips. Using your lips to cover your teeth, you went down again this time taking him all the way. You gagged slightly but held you position. Bokuto hated to see you cry, he would always immediately wipe away any tears that fell. However, the tears forming in the corners of your eyes were nothing but seductive, he liked it. 

“Your doing so good, I promise I’ll treat you when we get home.” You made eye contact with Bokuto as he praised you. Running out of breath you pulled away, making sure to keep a good suction on him so you could make that pop sound he liked to hear. Saliva strung from your lips to his cock, dripping down. Shifting a bit lower, you positioned yourself to get easy access to his balls. You placed the hand that had your wedding ring on top of his thigh to prevent him from moving, and with the other you gently cupped his balls giving them a squeeze before taking one in your mouth. You made a pattern of all the motions he liked, sucking his cock up and down, using your hands as help when you weren’t deepthroating him, lapping the tip like a kitten, cupping his balls- giving gentle squeezes. The way your worked your mouth and hands drove him crazy. Although it had been long since you gave him his first blowjob, you always made him feel like a lovestruck teenager. 

 A loud moan came from Bokuto as you deepthroated him once more. Surely anyone who passed would know what you were up to, if the slick sounds weren’t clue enough. Hearing his moan made a heat light up inside of you that you had been avoiding- wanting to only focus on Bokuto. Bokuto knew he was close, all the pleasure building up as you kept working your mouth. 

Giving into himself, he gripped your chin encouraging you to take his whole length again only moments after you pulled away to give yourself a breath. Taking the hint, you allowed him to guide you exactly where he wanted you to be once more. His hand moved to the back of your head, where he held you firmly as nodded you head back and forth. 

“Y/N,” He moaned, “Let me finish in your mouth.”

You nodded the best you could from your spot, and not even a minute later his cum squirted into your mouth. Bokuto sighed from relief, if you looked at him closely you could see the sweat droplets forming on his head. Removing his hand from your head, your looked in his eyes making sure to open your mouth showing his collected cum. 

“Your so hot, you know that? Wait don’t swallow yet, please let me take a picture.” 

You nodded, giving permission for pictures and Bokuto got out his phone opening the camera app. You had tasted his cum so many times the taste no longer bothered you, and although you weren’t sure if science confirmed it or not, his healthy diet probably helped.

He took a picture of you with your mouth wide open with a peace sign up, then instructed you to smile and say cheese. “Good, you can swallow now.”

Quickly swallowing you wiped your month with the towel Bokuto had gotten out when he retrieved his phone. “Send those to me, will you?” 

“I love you Y/N.”

“You better after that! Cum doesn’t exactly taste great you know.” You teased, getting up from you spot and sitting next to him on the bench. “Let me see pictures.”

Bokuto handed you his phone, the first two pictures were a bit blurry but for some reason it worked. You admitted you definitely did look hot like that.

“We should make a video next time.” You said, cuddling into his side and still catching your breath.

“I have an old tripod, I’ll get out today.”

[life-rewritten]

Gifted Graduation: The futility of Pang's idealism

Episode 8-10 of Gifted Graduation has been just filled with mind fuckery, and overflow of plot twists after plot twists. Thing is as much as everyone is complaining about this,  The Gifted has always been a show that has taken us on a journey of fear, exhilaration and worries only to then even break us further by ridiculing our hopes, dreams and idealism for a better future/better world. In this situation, we are like Pang, a boy who was shown the cruelty of close-minded and controlling adults who have no care for the children like him. These kids who are being viewed as tools and accessories because of their unique abilities.

In season 1 Pang learnt about his powers and made a decision to fight the system and defeat the adults who are controlling it. Season 1 ended with a depressing revelation; Pang was still too naive and too unprepared for taking down the adults. So he and his team hid for two years preparing for a way to defeat this system. In season 2 from Episode 10 we are shown how futile all this is, all Pang had hoped for, all he worked for, all he dreamed of was a lie, he was still being used as a tool for the downfall of all his own dreams. This is so painful to see because we are like Pang, we want a better society, a better world, a better life, and yet just as we also hoped and thought that things would improve we again fell for Supots lies and trickery. So we also were left feeling bleak and hopeless. So here is a post analysing why Season 1 finale of Gifted mirrored episode 8-10 of The gifted graduation. Is Pang's idealism really useless, how does this affect everyone, has Supot finally won, and what do we do now?

THE THEME OF THE SHOW; FUTILITY OF IDEALISM

I first noticed the clue that Season 1-Ep 10-13 was being mirrored in Gifted graduation episode 8-9 because of the certain similarities that were shown and also the return to plotlines from the past season that finally showed growth/change or showed a full-circle moment. The reason for why Gifted graduation ends up mirroring the same ideas as Season 1 is to laugh at us, and to laugh at Pang for failing yet again to realise the truth (despite thinking we were close to winning ) and again repeating the same mistakes of the past. Let me explain with the clues first:

PANG DEFEATED

In Season 1, Pang starts as a determined boy who wants to prove he's something, but slowly sees the horrors of his school system misusing and treating his peers like experiments because of their powers. Pang is determined to defeat Supot and change the gifted system. Still, by the finale, we see that even though he thought he was always a step ahead Supot always knew what he was up to, Supot manipulated him and his peers and unravelled all their plans in one go by revealing his powers and revealing his plans for the gifted. Pang is left defeated with his memories wiped and we the audience screamed in pain and frustration at our main character losing.

Season 2 Pang thinks he has the upper hand; his memories are back. He's avoiding his powers, so he doesn't end up like our villain, he has his peers back on his team. By episode 4 the goal is fulfilled; Supot is defeated and even by episode 6 despite the fact that we think the ministry is evil we still see that Supot is defeated, he's forced out of the school, and he goes in hiding. By episode 7-8 we begin to think Supot is actually a victim of this messed up system and he's just become evil because of the pressures of life, we start to trust him a bit, and we begin to think there is an immense evil at hand to defeat. Pang and we were fools. Gifted episode 10 repeats again the same copy of Pang being under Supots control, Pang being betrayed once again by his peers, and Pang also realising that everything he did was for nothing.

This time, the defeat is more painful, there's more at stake, there are lives lost and broken (Korn, Yuth, students being under a virus that causes brain damage) and the very goal Pang had wanted to defeat in Season 1, Pang was the sole cause of making it fulfilled. Its dramatic irony, it's hurtful, and it is soul-crushing to realise that all the pain he went through was for nothing. In the end, Pang is just still a tool to Supot, Pang put his peers again under Supot's control, but it's even worse time because he's putting more schools under Supots control. Pang is left with no one, nothing and no hope on his side. He's left defeated once again.

SUPOTS POWERS MORE THAN THEY SEEM

Season 1 is such an incredible story for how Supot and Pang became enemies to each other. We start of Season 1, learning about Pang's potential, to control minds with touch, we're petrified and scared about the strength of his powers since we see how it can hurt people (the first time he uses it), the only thing that's exciting and hopeful about this is that he can use it on Supot who is blissfully unaware. We expected Supot to underestimate Pang and not know what his gifts were but no. The reveal again in a painfully ironic twist is that Supot is a stronger version of Pang. His powers are so powerful he's able to get everyone to defeat Pang, he's able to convince people to lie to Pang and us, so we are blissfully unaware of what was genuinely happening the whole season. Pang is left horrified at the truth about Supot; not only does he have with the same potential as him, but he can do with without touch. This was an incredible plot twist. 

Yet season 2 manages to trick us into thinking Supot's powers are not as powerful anymore, Pang is the one who has to use his powers to become stronger and defeat the ministry. Supot had a past where he didn't want to use his powers for evil. Or that's what he told us, and that's what we fell for yet again. The realisation in episode 10 that Supot is insanely powerful, he can prevent Pang's potential from affecting him, he can convince people to kill themselves, and yes he can also convince and hurt Pang's peers if they don't do his bidding; the fact that Supot yet again manipulates Korn in this episode. This is also a repeat of season 1 because Korn was tricked into thinking his powers were gone by Supot only to realise he lied to there was no antidote. This both affected Mon and Korn just like Supots control over Korn revealed in episode10 led to Korn trying to commit suicide because he was so scared and betrayed, and Mon losing her trust in Pang because of losing Korn. Supots powers not only leads to Pang being hurt and betrayed but in season 2 we've seen they've led to death, they've led to despair, and they've led to misunderstandings and pain.  Supot from the start never was good; he tricks us into believing he was someone else when really he erased his ex-best friends identity and convinced him to kill himself whilst he had lost his hope and had learnt that his idealism for a better world was useless. Already we see that with Supot's past that the show is echoing that idealism for equality and difference is futile.

WAVE AND PANG AGAINST THE WORLD

This and Clare and Punns storyline in episode 8 are what made me know that Gifted was mirroring season 1 with this season. I couldn't see the reason at that time or sort out the theme, but now I know what it is. So Clare and Punns relationship is damaged as both have to grow, we get a repetition with Punn going evil with Void showing up threatening to hurt and kill again, Punn broken down at the end by Clare. But it shifts, we see Punn and Clare break up, they've both grown, they've both changed, and they want to work on themselves first before they return to each other.

In contrast, we get a repetition of a bond that was tested throughout season 2, Wave's trust in Pang is ruined at first because of Pang's insensitive actions when focused on his goals ( another repetition of season 1 with Pang's flaw). Still, Wave and Pang reunite to try and defeat the ministry and also help achieve their goals. Whilst everyone betrayed or wasn't on the side of Pang, Wave stays loyal and it's him and Pang against the world. 

In season 1 this also happens, more because Pang refuses to trust anyone else to help with his goals, and so he keeps it a secret; his plans to defeat Supot, Wave helps him with it but ends up betraying him because of Supot. We see in the trailer for episode 11; Wave is forced to think again about this decision because this time he's threatened with the virus. There is now something that can defeat the gifted and take away their potential. 

Wave however in season 1 pretends to side with Supot, but we see at the end he helps Pang regain his memories. So I don't believe that he'll betray Pang, I think whatever we see on the surface in the next episodes are not to be trusted, Pang and Wave will have another plan on how to defeat Supot, but it will be very hidden and secretive. But the importance of this mirror is because Pang needs Wave, so he doesn't give up on his idealism, so he still has hope in his dreams. Wave is the person who is the helper to Pang through thick and thin. Pang's idealism may be futile right now but because we have more episodes and we still have Wave who won't betray him unless, under mind control, he'll come back around.

SUPOTS PAWNS

By the end of season 1 everyone becomes a pawn in Supot chess game, he uses and manipulates everybody to do his bidding. Sometimes he keeps them hidden as final revelations, sometimes he lies to them to make them give in and change, and sometimes he uses his powers to convince people to lose. The repeated pawns ins Supots plans from season 1 obviously is the Pom and Chanon.  But before we talk about them, let's talk about the other mirror characters:

DARIN; she's a mirror character for the previous female teacher in the school. The audience thought that teacher was supportive of Supot but Pang learns that she is actually good and worried about the students without potentials. Pang also uses her with his powers to attack everyone and give them the vial that causes removal to their abilities.  Pang used her as a pawn as the last option to defeat Supot. She ended up being weak and not necessary. Darin is the same, at first we think she's right and she's out to protect the kids (just like this woman, and she probably was because she's a mirror of this woman) but she ends up being seen by Pang as manipulative and also evil siding with the ministry. Supot convinces Pang and us that the ministry is corrupt thereby we also see her as someone evil. In episode 10 its revealed she's just as weak; she's just a pawn underneath Supot and the ministry who is helpless and powerless just like the other teacher.  She and the ministry don't even come close to being the greater evil we thought they were; they're under Supots control. They're his tools for his goals. And Pang joins that. Sigh.

POM AND CHANON have a different significance; Pom was the pawn who we thought we could trust in season 1 until it was revealed he betrayed Chanon, he had the potential to erase memory and he was under Supots control by choice. Pom keeps betraying Pang despite being a father figure to him, someone who mentors and helps him with his gifts. And sigh season 2 reveals that Pom still is that pawn, he still is under Supot. His goal, to teach Pang the theme and reason for why we keep getting this copy of the plot of season 1; idealism is futile, it's useless to fight someone like Supot, and it'll just hurt worse if you try. Pom, however, ends up growing as well, he reveals he's good, and he cares about Pang and Chanon, but it's too late because he was right, idealism and trying to fight was useless. Chanon overpowers him, and he ends up being discarded as a worthless tool for Supot (though he loved him as a son), and now he's broken and damaged by the virus.

So you see Chanon who we saw as the actual symbol for Pang's idealism. He's the reason for why Pang hoped and tried to fight for freedom, he's the reason for why Pang still trusted adults, he's the reason for why Pang believed he could defeat Supot (because he predicted accurately of Pangs coming), but no he ends up being the very symbol for the futility of idealism. He ends up being the worst useless pawn under Supot; he destroys all of his old personality, his old idealism, his old positives for revenge because he's been traumatised by the past. Because of resentment for Pom, Supot manipulated and convinced Chanon to throw away his idealism and become defeated. It's painful because again these two echoes the same theme Pang's idealism is futile, Supot is always one step ahead and trying to fight him is hopeless. It hurts. We realise now that we didn't succeed at all even after season 1 taught us how to evade Supot. We still failed, instead, like fools we've repeated the same story, but this time Pang played a massive role in getting Supot what he wanted. Pang ended up being the worst painful pawn under Supot. It's so ironic, it's so severe, it's so soul-crushing, and it leaves all of us in shock. 

What do we do now? Can Supot be defeated? Will ever get to see Pang get his goals? Or is it all useless to try and change the system?

THE NEXT GENERATION; GRACE, TIME AND THIRD

For so long, I wondered why we needed these three characters, why didn't we just focus on our gifted students. But that's the point, whilst all of our other characters were repeating the same mistakes and stories of the past, seeing time and time again that idealism was useless, our three new characters were stuck, on a pause, they show up by the end of episode10 belatedly ready to try and defeat Supot. 

Supot doesn't have these three under his control yet; he does not know of Grace's potential to see the future. I also think this is already showing you a symbol that even if idealism is futile, the future is always filled with potential for change, potenial for hope and potential for a difference. Grace being able to see her self in the future suggests that the message we've been shown so far can still change, the mistakes of the past can still be erased and improved on, and we will be fine. Supot does not know how much these kids believe in Pang's idealism and in how much these kids want change and want to fight for what is right:

From the beginning, these kids are perfect for defeating Supot:

We have Time: who will do anything for the right reason, someone who wants change, someone who fights for change and fights for doing the right, justified thing. Time does not give up easily, and just like Pang, he's idealistic and hopeful about changing the world.

Grace: does not give a fuck about traditions and the system. she thinks that as long as you try and as long as you make an effort, you can get what you want. Unlike Time, Grace isn't afraid to try different ways to achieve her goals even if they seem wrong/not moral. She's someone who cares about her friends and her peers, and she doesn't care about adults.

Third: Aggressively chooses what is right, he likes to be correct, he likes to be on the side of power but because he wants to be useful. He likes doing good and ensuring that people follow the rules. This is also a negative because if he ends up believing that Supots rules are the right thing, then he can also be a villain. Still, for now, he believes that Pang and the ministry are correct, so he is going to aggressively fight for those rules to be followed, for the right thing to be done.

So with our new generation, we have determination despite seeing futility, we have lack of care for tradition, adults and the system despite how scary it seems, we have hope, and a will to fight for what is right. And we have people who want justice. Isn't it funny? Although gifted shows the failure of society, the way we are all stuck in old systems that are cruel and wrong, the way achieving change and equality is always seeming futile to us because of the people above us, the new generation still stays fighting. The new generation does not give up; they're loud, active and willing to get change no matter what. These three students are now with Pang (who has escaped) the people who still can defeat Supot. We may have had history repeat, but the new generations learn from history, knows not to give up hope, and pushes on to try and change.

So you see, using Season 1 repetition and mirroring to keep echoing that Pang's idealism for change and equality is futile, useless and ineffective, we also get one more repetition where just as Chanon said about Pang in the past showing up to prove Supot wrong and fight for change, we get Grace and her crew now taking Pang's place as our main characters ready to go fight for change and end Supot's tyranny. And you know what? I believe that we will get a successful ending because of this. I think this is beautiful, way to show that the world might be broken (especially with all that has been going in 2020: the riots in Thailand for equality and freedom, black lives matter in the US, NSARS in Nigeria and other countries that have been fighting for a change)  but we still can fight for change and equality. Having idealism may seem futile, but it isn't, it's needed and its what's going to change and break the system. So thank you for The Gifted Graduation for this message.

[claytonkeller]

Like okay

I'm sorry if this looks like I'm saying a whole lot of nothing, and I'm making no sense lol I am very bad at wording things correctly.

I feel like a lot of players aren't considered "good," simply because they play for a team that's like. At the bottom of the league. And that don't actually put effort into winning and it SUCKS.

I don't think practice is the only thing that makes a player good, especially if you're only going to rely on their stats (you really shouldn't), because hockey, and most other sports out there, is a team effort.

Not only does a player's teammates make them a good player, but also coaching and management. You can't have a good goalie without their defensemen having their back, and you can't have good plays and goals come out of a certain forward without their linemates helping make those plays happen. People only look at players individually, and only the ones that play on bigger and more successful teams. Players like Nathan MacKinnon, and Sidney Crosby have so much fame not only because they are currently good, but because they have been like that since before they came into the league, and they happen to be with such big franchises (if you wanna consider the avs lol??). But I see other players who have had slow starts, or who were/are with teams that are consistently at the bottom of tge league not getting enough praise, or they're getting none at all.

We can take Jack Eichel or even Taylor Hall as an example. Even though they are with much better teams now, I know that these guys have a lot of talent to show off but were unable to do so. Also Andre Burakovsky, who is definitely getting the attention he deserves right now, but he never really got what he needed for himself when he was with the caps.

I also like thinking about Phil Kessel and Clayton Keller for this, mainly because that's what got me thinking about this whole thing. They play on a team at 31st place in the standings. This team and you can tell from players stats alone, doesn't score many goals, and have only won 9 of 37 games played. These two players barely get recognition outside of their own team, because the franchise is pretty horrible. Phil is known for winning a couple cups with the pens, and Clayton is known for....not much. These two currently prove that you shouldn't look at a players individual statistics, but look at who they're playing for first. Look at the state of their franchise. Realize that players may only have such tough careers because their team is not the best fit.

And it's not only that people have this bias for more popular/better teams, it's that barely any fans believe in growth. People just see a player in his rookie year, or even for his first few years and just automatically get drawn to the conclusion that they're always gonna be that way.

People seen Jack Hughes play in his rookie season and immediately called him a bust, and pretty much lost faith in him. That's how Tyson Jost was too. He still kinda is. For some players, like these two, it takes some time because this league could be something completely different from where they were initially, or their teams just brought them in too early. It's not really their fault. And some players that started out like this, even after developing, could still get the same reputations as they had during their bad seasons.

What I'm trying to get at here is that I hate how teams matter so much in determining who is and isn't a "good" player. So many of them have sooooo much talent but it can't be seen because of their first couple of seasons not being their best, or because they are being overshadowed by entire franchises that are doing better than their own. I'm sorry if this was a bunch of nonsense, but I felt like sharing.

[justasimplesinner]

hello, i just found your tumblr😊😊 i would like to ask for a scenario where Eddie from Arkham games has been working non-stop for days and his s/o starts to get jealous since his attention goes all to batman ❤ Fluff pls~🥰 (Sorry for my bad english)

this stinky gremlin i swear, i don’t know if i want to punch him or kiss him

dumb bitch Arkham!Eddie overworking himself AGAIN:

– You're doing it again, Edward. – you sighed at his hunched back, fingers skimming over some parts on the workbench near you, but he never even budged, never acknowledged your presence.

Because of him overworking and neglecting himself, his spine was starting to take shape of one of those curly questionmarks he doodled on every aviable space. It was concerning, to say the least...

– I'm disappointed. – this one struck. You knew this one struck. But if pressing on his soft spots was the only way to get his attention, you didn't have a choice.

– Disappointed? – he may have been snorting, he may have been laughing at you, but the subtle way in which his body immediately froze after you words didn't escape your trained eye. After all those years, you knew what made him tick. – Who are you to tell me you're disappointed? Do you seriously think I'd care for-...

Ah, there went the defensive mechanisms of his - denial, insults, feeding his own ego to recompensate for any moderatively hurtful comment directed at him. The whole package. Despite how he prided himself in being an enigma, he was awfully easy to read.

Looking at it, you could understand why some of your friends tried to convince you this was a toxic relationship. Who knew, maybe they were right. But you knew something they didn't - you knew Edward Nigma for all he was, all his faults and strengths, but most importantly, you knew he was but a child trapped in a man's body.

When children threw tantrums, nobody called them toxic - why should this be different? What with Edward's stunted emotional growth, he had little to no control over his feelings and their outbursts. But especially, he had little to no control over what he was saying when they happened - not to say you were never hurt by his spiteful words, but you knew better than to take them to heart.

You wouldn't be here, with him, if you did. And he knew that damn well - he knew damn well that if you didn't care for him you wouldn't put up with his bullshit, and yet, despite how grateful he really was, you never seemed to get the recognition you truly deserve.

Not from him, at least - his henchmen, though... that was a whole different story. There was a reason most of them called you "Mom" behind Edward's back.

– You promised. – maybe it was just as childish of you to cut in with this as it was for him to make a scene over nothing, but if you let him go on, you'd be sitting here for another hour or so. 

– In the first place, you shouldn't believe in promises. The world is full of them-... – you were sure he was about to go full Paulo Coelho on you and quote the entire thing if you'd only let him. There was no chance at blowing his own horn that this man wouldn't take.

– So you're calling yourself a liar? – you mused instead, walking up to him to lay your hands on his shoulders - which almost immediately lost some of the tension, mind you – What happened to being the "man of your word"? I distinctly remember you giving me a whole speech, and call me foolish, but I was under the impression you're the type of man to practise what you preach. – pointing out his mistakes like this was satisfying on a petty level, you had to admit that much. No matter what he said, he'd be only digging his own grave and you both knew that. You left him with no room to wiggle, no way to escape.

You weren't stupid, despite him often saying that - he wouldn't pick himself no bimbo or himbo, after all. And in times like these, it was clear he hated you for it.

– You're manipulating me into giving in. – he accused with a pout, crossing his arms, and it took everything you had in you not to laugh then. Nothing but a child, indeed...

– Whatever it takes to get you to bed. – your murmured sweetly, leaning down to his ear, but every intention of placing a kiss under it died once the smell of sweat, grime and motor oil reached your nose – And a shower. Not necessarily in that order.

He rolled his eyes as you scrunched up your face - good lord above, you'll have to visit more often because this man couldn't take care of himself anymore. The only thing he really cared about now was Batman - his humiliation, his downfall, his surrender to the great mind of Edward Nigma, The Riddler, The Ultimate Boss or whatever it is Ed called himself nowadays.

Watching him spiral down into madness over the years really took its' toll on you, but it made Edward need you more than ever. He couldn't even take a bath by himself, it seemed.

– Please. – begging was your last resort, but like you said - you'd do anything to get him to rest. Besides, you knew that making him feel in power was a huge weakness of his - he'd figure out a way to bring you a star from the sky if you'd only said one sweet "please".

And hearing him sigh in resignation, feeling his back straighten and press harder into your hands, you knew you won him over.

– Only because you asked nicely. – he grumbled laying his palms flat on the surface of his desk, preparing to get up. Of course, not before you stole a grateful kiss from him. Good boys deserved rewards, after all.

You'd lie if you said you didn't enjoy the way a blush crawled from his neck up to his ears. No matter how many years passed, this dork still blushed every time you kissed him and it must've been the most adorable thing you've ever witnessed.

– I was serious about the shower. You stink.

You laughed at hearing his agonized groaning. There was no getting out of this one.

***

Despite some minor difficulties, like Edward barely being able to support his own weight, let alone wash himself, you considered the shower a success. After a good scrub and a clean shave, you had your handsome riddle-man back. With triple bags under his eyes and a hairline you were starting to worry about, but handsome nonetheless.

– Are you hungry? – you asked, cupping his cheeks and smiling at the smoothness of them. God only knew that terrible stubble of his was like needles to your skin... But, instead of a proper answer, his head fell onto your shoulder heavily as he leaned almost all of his weight on you.

– Bed. – he moaned and you couldn't help the laugh that escaped you as you patted his still wet hair condescendingly.

Seems you'd have to re-schedule a warm meal to another time. You'd make him something in the morning. Or afternoon, considering it was well after three in the morning and once Edward fell asleep, there was no chance of waking him up for at least twelve hours.

– Of course, baby, c'mon. – you chuckled, tugging him out of the bathroom and leading the way to his office. He had a fatigued sofa bed for when he was caught up with work - which was most of the time. Didn't mean he used it, though. He was the type of man to work himself into exhaustion and fall asleep right where he's standing, only to complain about back problems to you later.

It was a shame he didn't use the sofa more often, too - it was almost unbelieveably comfortable for something that costed less than a decent meal.

– Go on and lay down, – you encouraged, watching as he all but fell onto the sofa – I'll go tell the boys to-... 

It was with surprising strength that he pulled you back harshly, apparently not minding the way you literally tumbled into him as his lean arms circled your form and forcefully rolled you over so that his head was laying comfortably on your chest - his favourite pillow of all.

– Or not. – you huffed, rolling your eyes at him as his grip around you only tightened and he nuzzled his face into your t-shirt. Nothing but a big man-child...

– Don't ever stop. – he murmured, so low you barely caught it, once his breathing synchronized with yours and your arms hugged him back as one of your hands went to his head to brush through his hair.

– Hm? Stop what?

You felt his arms squeeze you tightly one last time.

– Loving me.

You watched him fall asleep with a smile on your face. Damn this absolute dork... Like you'd ever stop loving him.

[toweroftickles]

ZELINK FIC - TICKLES THROUGH TIME

This is for @dyingtoleeya who suggested that I write about my “first ship ever.” That sent me on quite a nostalgia trip! Lol I’m a 90s kid, so most of my influences come from there. I didn’t expect to crank this fic out so fast, but something about it just inspired me. Hope you guys like it. :)

The fall of Ganondorf had seen the kingdom of Hyrule, though still shattered and broken, return to hope. The Hylian peoples had come together to rebuild, to settle into their old lives after seven long years. But for Link, and for Zelda, they had finally earned their rest.

It was a late night in the castle garden. Torches gleamed against white stone walls. The small stream that had once been present before the King of Thieves’ reign was dammed, but its mouth still bubbled peacefully through slabs of fallen rock. The stained glass windows, though broken, still cast their colorful lights into a swirling dance of shapes on the nighttime grass. Fireflies fluttered around. One landed squarely on the princess’ nose, and she giggled before returning to rest her head on the Hero of Time’s shoulder. They said not a word to each other, only breathed in the cool air, and listened for the sounds of a land returning to life. But finally, the princess spoke.

“So many years I dreamed I’d see you again,” she whispered, not looking directly at Link. “It’s funny...we only knew each other so briefly, but whenever I lost hope, I could always see you clearly in my mind. Waiting for you to wake up...was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Link silently brushed Zelda’s long hair behind her ear and gently stroked her cheek. They smiled at one another, and Zelda couldn’t help but reminisce.

“You probably remember better than I do...when I used to sneak out to see you?”

<whooshing flashback noises>

Young Link and Zelda relaxed on the beach of Lake Hylia. As Zelda watched the swirling Guay chase Navi overhead, Link waded barefoot into the water and flung a rock with all his might.

Twice...three times...six whole skips! The Goron Bracelet definitely helped. Link grinned, pumping his fist triumphantly. Zelda laughed and clapped for him, and he returned to the grass beside her.

“This is so much fun,” Zelda sighed as the wind blew her headdress around. “I wish I’d been able to have a whole childhood like this.”

Link smiled happily at her and retrieved a small sandwich from his hammerspace pouch.

“Hey, Link...why are you always so quiet?”

Link stopped to think about the question. He’d barely spoken a word to the princess since that fateful day they met in her garden. He supposed, he was just never sure what to say to her. Navi usually did the talking for him.

“It’s because he liiiikes you!” the annoying fairy chimed in. Link’s eyes bugged out in horror and he instinctively smacked Navi through the air. Zelda giggled.

“No! I don’t!” Link stammered - perhaps the first full sentence he had said in her presence. “It...I’m....uh...”

“It’s ok,” Zelda said with a reassuring smile. “Come on, what are you hiding? Tell me!”

Almost on instinct the young princess reached out with her hand and playfully grabbed Link’s side. A huge grin appeared on the Kokiri boy’s face.

“Heehee-Hee! *gasp* Heh-Heh Ha!” Link giggled and pulled away from her. Zelda was delighted by his reaction...she smiled uncontrollably and kept squeezing at his tummy with both hands.

“Come on, say something!” she laughed. Link fell back onto his side in the grass, and Zelda followed on her knees. Her fingers grabbed and poked and tickled, and Link couldn’t stop laughing. With a mischievous twinkle in her light, Navi darted inside Link’s tunic and fluttered her wings against the boy’s ribs and belly. Link squirmed and tried to cover his stomach with his arms, but it was no use.

“Haha-Haha Haha-Haha Haaaa, Ha! *gasp* Haha-Haha Ha!” Link giggled and gasped for breath. Zelda’s own reactions weren’t much different. She could barely utter her command “Say something!” through her own gleeful excitement.

Then, suddenly, Zelda stopped poking Link’s stomach and turned around. He could breathe, at least for a moment. With both hands she grabbed Link’s right foot and stood up, lifting his leg off the ground while the rest of him stayed flat. She looked back at him, smiled like a kid on Christmas morning, and wiggled all ten of her fingers along the bottom of his foot.

“Ha-Ha Ha-Ha Ha-Ha! *gasp* Aha-Ha! Ah Ha-Ha Ha-Ha! Uggghhhhyeeehh, Heheh! Ha-Ha Ha-Ha!” The poor boy laughed loudly and rolled around on his back, trying to pull his foot away from Zelda’s devious little fingers. Navi’s buzzing magical energy still tickled his tummy.

“Do you give up?” Zelda teased him.

She didn’t wait for an answer. After another moment of giggling, Link felt his bare foot drop back into the grass. Navi flew out of his tunic, laughing to herself. It was over. As the young boy attempted to suck air back into himself, he pondered what had just happened...it had been surprisingly fun. At least...when she did it. Zelda dropped to her knees again and looked down at his exhausted face, and both smiled. But Link’s energy was all wound up, and as if loaded on a spring, he reached up with both hands and tickled Zelda’s armpits.

“AHH!” she squealed excitedly. Her arms instinctively snapped back like a pistol shrimp’s, drawn tightly to her purple top as she jumped back. Link’s fingers dropped lower and started to dance on her sides.

“AHH Haha-Ha! Haha-Ha! *gasp* Ha-Ha! N-ho, no faihair!” Zelda squirmed around and pretended to be resistant, but in truth she was having far too much fun. Link bounced up into action and dove on Zelda. With a surprised yelp she fell back across the knoll, and before they knew it, the two kids were rolling down the grassy hill toward the sand, Zelda laughing and squirming in Link’s grip. He held her close to him and tickled her belly and sides nonstop as they rolled.

“Whoooaa-OOOO-ooooooh, Heehee! AH Haha-Haha! Ha-Ha Ha-Ha Ha! Th-hat tickles!” she cried out.

Within moments the two had collapsed in the sand, both grinning rapturously and unable to stop giggling. The rolling and wind had tossed Zelda’s habit-like headdress aside, and its fabric stood out colorfully near the top of the hill. She had such short hair for a girl, Link thought. But he also couldn’t stop thinking about how cute she looked. He blushed and tried to hide his expression from her, but she was laying on her side, eyes shut and breathing out her last few giggles. Then Link noticed something else had gone missing from the princess’ possession when they rolled down into the sand - one of her slippers.

He had to act quick, before she noticed! The youth grabbed a nearby piece of straw...dropped from the local scarecrow...and he grabbed her ankle. In his right hand he held her right leg still, sole-up, against the sand, and he began to wiggle the piece of straw right in the middle of her foot.

“HAA, Ha-Ha Ha Ha! Haha-Haha! L-hihink, stop it!” Zelda slapped her palms into the earth. She flailed and desperately pulled her leg. But the smile on her face betrayed her true feelings - she was happy. She was playing with a real friend. For one of the few times in her life, she was having fun.

Link tossed the straw aside and stopped tickling. Zelda’s toes still wiggled involuntarily, and she curled into a ball while the squeaks subsided.

“*inhale*...*exhale*....Heheh! I’m sorry. Are we even now?”

Link was lying down beside her, smiling just as much as she was.

“I talk...when I feel like it.”

The two burst into laughter all over again and reclined. Navi, who had been intentionally avoiding the rough-and-tumble tickle roll, finally sauntered down to the sandbank. She knew, looking at Link and Zelda, that the two had a future. The lake’s calming breeze blew their hair around, and sand dusted up against their cheeks.

Soon, Link would be off to Jabu-Jabu. But he wanted to enjoy his time with the princess, just a moment longer.

<whooshing flash-forward noises. ooo>

“Remember when I lost the slingshot game ? I almost cried, but then you won me a Bombchu,” the adult Zelda murmured dreamily.

Link couldn’t help but grin. These events seemed so recent to him, but for Zelda they may as well have been lifetimes ago. He put his arm around her shoulder and she watched the lights flicker on the ground.

“Hey...are you still ticklish?” Zelda asked him, trying to contain her excited smile. Before he could answer, she darted a hand in and jabbed all five fingers into his abs.

In truth, despite his recent physical adulthood, Link had lost his entire 11-17 growth period...his body was matured but lacked the experience and resilience that came with living through puberty. His immune system was still weak, he had basically no callouses, and he was still very childishly ticklish.

“GYAAHHH!” he yelled out, twisting away from Zelda’s fingers. The princess giggled and kept poking all over his stomach, and Link couldn’t avoid the chuckles building in his throat for long.

Seizing an opportune moment, he reached in with his leather gauntlets and launched his own tickle assault on the now-grown princess’ tummy. To his delight, it worked.

“AH! Hmhm-Hmhm Heheh-Heheh Heh! Hm-Hm Hm!” Zelda giggled through her sealed lips and pulled her arms in tight. Almost instantly she was in the grass, flat on her back, her sides quivering beneath Link’s strumming, spidery fingers.

Suddenly, he stopped. Zelda breathed. For the first time in seven years, she was at peace. She looked up at Link, smiling above her, and in her eyes bounced a light show of firefly acrobats, around Link’s head like a halo. Link had never seen anyone or anything so beautiful. He stroked her cheek and tussled her hair again.

There is rarely a single, isolated moment in a relationship where a boy looks at a girl and realizes for the first time, “I love you.” And there was no such moment for Link or Zelda either.

But this one came pretty close.

[fic-art-blurbs]

How “Lost In Thoughts All Alone” Connects To Each Route Of Three Houses

OKAY. SO RIGHT OUT THE GATE. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS MONUMENTALLY STUPID BUT HEAR ME OUT. I KNOW THERE IS 0% CHANCE OF THIS BEING INTENDED BECAUSE INTSYS IS INTSYS AND ALSO THESE ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORLDS BUT THESE VERSES ACTUALLY FIT SOMEWHAT AND IMMA TRY TO BREAK IT DOWN. FAIR WARNING THERE’S GONNA BE SO MUCH STRETCHING THAT YOU’RE GONNA THINK YOU’RE IN A YOGA CLASS.

You can listen to the song itself in its entirety here, I’ll be going by verses and talking about the routes/characters I think each fits. And I’ll be putting this under a read more because I know this is going to be long also @iturbide​ here’s the essay

Also spoilers

First Verse/Opening Verse - Byleth/Sothis

You are the ocean's gray waves, destined to seek Life beyond the shore just out of reach Yet the waters ever change, flowing like time The path is yours to climb

This one isn’t too difficult to talk about. This is the opening verse of the song, and the first verse Azura sings in Fates. This verse also plays in between almost all of the verses in the song - note I said almost. It also plays at the end of the song. This fits Byleth, and by extension Sothis rather well. Byleth is the driving force behind how each route, behind each character’s growth. They manipulate time, constantly going back in time over and over again, whether it’s to take another path, or to try and save a life. Byleth is the one with the power here, and no matter how many times they go back, no matter how they make time bend to their will, it always flows back - the “Golden Route” so many desire is always out of reach, no matter how many routes they play. 

And yet no matter what, you keep going back. Byleth, though I guess at this point I’m talking about the player, is destined to continue trying to reach that happy ending, they’re destined to keep searching for a way to make that happy ending a reality.

The path is yours to climb indeed - as many choose to try and make one, unaware that the path they create is one treaded many times over.

Birthright’s Verse - Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd (Azure Moon)

In the white light, a hand reaches through A double-edged blade cuts your heart in two Waking dreams fade away, Embrace the brand-new day Sing with me a song of birthrights and love The light scatters to the sky above Dawn breaks through the gloom, white as a bone Lost in thoughts all alone

I imagine the white light being referred to here being the reunion scene, and the hand as being Byleth’s. Remember how Azure Moon’s reunion scene left Dimitri shrouded in the darkness, and Byleth in the light? The double-edged blade here could refer to Edelgard herself - he may have been happy to reunite with his step-sister, but it was the reveal of her being the Flame Emperor that “cut his heart in two”, breaking his heart and making him fall victim to his rage. His “waking dreams fading away” to “embrace the brand new day” may refer to his ghosts, how they grow quieter (not quite disappearing entirely, but fading away for now) in the wake of Rodrigue’s death and Byleth’s words finally reaching through to him. 

“Sing me a song of birthrights and love” I think could refer to Dimitri’s mindset. He feels bound by his birthright as the future king of Faerghus, and the love he feels for both his family and his country. When Edelgard’s deception is revealed, a good chunk of the reason his breakdown is so bad is due to the fact she seemingly betrayed that love, betrayed the love that was shown to her by his father and her mother. He views it as her willingly betraying them and directly causing their deaths along with Glenn’s and the genocide of an entire country. He feels it is his birthright not only to right the wrongs committed by his country, but to avenge what happened to his loved ones. 

The next two lines I think reflect his finally quelling his rage, no longer letting it consume him. That “white as a bone” line I can imagine talking about his path - his intentions may have been honorable at the beginning, but his path is no less gory than the one he wanted the head of.

And the final line? It describes Dimitri for a good portion of Azure Moon. He’s lost in his thoughts, all alone, pushing away his support because he believes himself unworthy. 

Conquest’s Verse - Edelgard von Hresvelg (Crimson Flower)

Embrace the dark you call a home, Gaze upon an empty, white throne A legacy of lies, A familiar disguise Sing with me a song of conquest and fate The black pillar cracks beneath its weight Night breaks through the day, hard as a stone Lost in thoughts all alone

No I did NOT just pick this verse for Edelgard because of the conquest thing I PROMISE. I SWEAR THERE’S MORE TO THIS THAN JUST THE CONQUEST LINE I PROMISE

ANYWAY I imagined that first line referring to Edelgard marching home and assuming the throne. The Empire is far from a bright place, and she’s embracing it as she declares herself emperor in order to declare war on the church. The “empty white throne” line? It could mean one of two things, if not both. The first thing could be telling her to gaze upon Faerghus’s empty throne, the throne she made empty by killing her step-brother - even if she didn’t remember him being her brother. The second thing could be referring to Sothis’s empty throne, as she’s unknowingly following in the footsteps of Nemesis by killing the Goddess and her followers - first with the death of Seiros, and then the dissolution of Sothis’s crest stone (even if she didn’t directly play a part in the latter, Edelgard’s route is the only route where the crest stone disappears for good). If you stretch, you could also make it so that this refers to if you kill Claude, but the throne of Almyra wouldn’t be empty - it would just be angry and ready for war.

The next two lines could refer to the Agarthans. “A legacy of lies, a familiar disguise” could refer to Patricia and Arundel respectively. Edelgard’s mother was revealed by Cornelia to maybe having a hand in the Tragedy of Duscur and making that image of Patricia as a kind woman a lie - though this is in the Azure Moon route, so this could be handwaved. This line could instead refer to how Edelgard views Rhea and the church - they’ve passed on a “legacy of lies”, hiding the horrific truth behind the Relics and the Crests, claiming them to be gifts from the Goddess. The latter line, “a familiar disguise”, could be about Arundel. It’s revealed that Arundel is actually Thales in disguise, and Arundel is Edelgard’s uncle - someone she undoubtedly would’ve been familiar with. 

“The black pillar cracks beneath its weight” could be talking about the weight of Edelgard’s war. Even if the game states that Crimson Flower had no consequences in the end, there are undoubtedly consequences scattered across the land. The newly “unified” Fodlan would be cracking under that weight, with new cracks appearing with every new rebellion, every new attack. Every instance that could tell Edelgard that perhaps declaring war so hastily might have been a mistake. 

“Night breaks through the day” can very easily be equated to Edelgard’s war in conquering all of Fodlan. “Hard as a stone” would be her resolve - no matter what route you choose, Edelgard is steadfast in her belief that she is in the right. She never falters, never once wonders if she was wrong. Her only regret when you kill her in Azure Moon is wishing Byleth walked at her side - not regretting her war, regretting that Byleth was not on her side.

And of course, the final line. Edelgard is alone in her thoughts, even with Hubert seemingly knowing everything. She’s lost in her thoughts of conquest, and similar to Dimitri, vengeance. She may not be haunted by ghosts like he is, but she’s certainly haunted by her ticking clock and the deaths of her siblings as they fell in the experiments, one by one, until she stood alone. It could also refer to the ending of Crimson Flower - now that she’s won her war, what now? Stability would not come right away, and the increasing attacks and rebellions depending on certain choices could have Edelgard lost in her thoughts, perhaps wondering for the first time if she should have chosen differently.

((Fair warning, this is where most of the stretching begins - Revelations is strange in that it actually has 2 verses of its own - it has an opening to replace the “You are the ocean’s grey waves” verse, and a verse more similar to the other two routes.))

Revelation’s Verses - Claude von Riegan & Rhea/Seiros (Verdant Wind/Silver Snow)

The path you walk on belongs to destiny, just let it flow All of your joy and your pain will fall like the tide, let it flow Life is not just filled with happiness, or sorrow Even the thorn in your heart, in time it may become a rose

A burdened heart sinks into the ground A veil falls away without a sound Not day nor night, wrong nor right For truth and peace you fight Sing with me a song of silence and blood The rain falls, but can't wash away the mud Within my ancient heart dwells madness and pride Can no one hear my cry?

Again, there’s gonna be a LOT of stretching. I think that first verse might not actually be for Claude or Rhea exactly - that verse sounds a lot more like it’s meant for Byleth. Telling them to accept that they’ll not have their golden route, accept that life isn’t just happiness - but it isn’t just sorrow either. And yet Byleth persists. 

The second verse though - the first half I think fits Claude more, and the second half fits Rhea more. Though you could argue those last two lines also fit Nemesis emerging from Shambala in Verdant Wind - I don’t think so, but it’s there.

Claude’s definitely got a burdened heart - he’s got so many trust issues that if you could build with them, you’d have a skyscraper. But it’s through his interactions with the Deer, and by extension Byleth, that the walls he put up to protect himself slowly fall away. The mask he put on of a carefree individual silently gets dropped, and by post timeskip, you can see that Claude trusts his Deer - and Byleth, if this is Verdant Wind - with everything. He’s the neutral route in this, he doesn’t choose to fight for either side, his fight isn’t for either side. He’s fighting to destroy the borders between lands, fighting for the truth (in that his route is the one where you learn everything), and for peace, equality. He may be the funny upside down meme to most, but he’s the only one of the three to actually fight for truth and peace, the real versions of both - you don’t get to learn the truth in Azure Moon, and in you only get to see what Edelgard believes is the truth in Crimson Flower. 

Rhea’s the one who knows everything. She knows the truth behind the Relics, the Crest Stones, Crests, everything - and yet she stays silent. She stays silent, afraid that more would follow in the footsteps of Nemesis and bring more bloodshed - hence the “sing me a song of silence and blood”. The next line could refer to how no matter what she does, the darker parts of history wouldn’t be scrubbed away. Even if she did succeed in her attempts to bring back Sothis, in an attempt to wash away the dirt from their past, what then? Did she really think Sothis would welcome her back with open arms, with what she’d done to achieve her goal? And the last two lines...those are rather self-explanatory. Say what you will, for a time, Rhea did indeed go mad. She believed herself to be in the right, much like Edelgard did, and became furious when anyone said otherwise. That’s shown in her ruthless execution of those who opposed her, and her downward spiral in Crimson Flower. The final line, “can no one hear my cry?” may refer to how, even if one of her brothers and her niece were there by her side, neither knew what she had become. Neither ever knew what lengths she went to, nor did they know how much pain she was in to have driven her to madness, driven her to the belief that creating and killing at least twelve vessels in an attempt to create the perfect one for Sothis was right. Perhaps if someone had heard her cry, things would have been much different.

Interestingly, this is the only verse to not end with “lost in thoughts all alone”. If you think about it in the terms of Claude and Rhea, this may be for different reasons. Claude is remarkably well-adjusted for someone thrown into war - he gives a “power of friendship” speech during the final fight for crying out loud, if anything, he’s actually grown for the better. He’s not lost in thoughts all alone because he’s learned to actually lean on others for support. In Rhea’s case, her not being lost in her thoughts all alone would be for an entirely different reason - she isn’t lost in her thoughts. She’s not thinking clearly, but she isn’t lost like Dimitri or Edelgard. She isn’t so lost that she can’t command troops outside of “KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM”, nor does she question if she was in the wrong like Edelgard might’ve had the latter won her war at the cost of stability. To the very end, she doesn’t regret her decisions - she may not have made them with a clear mind, but she knows what she did, and she isn’t lost thinking of what might have been. 

((TECHNICALLY there is one more verse, sung by Shigure in the Heirs of Fate DLC. The reason it’s not brought up? That one is much more context sensitive - the only line I can really think of fitting anywhere is “Endless dawn came but not without a price” possibly referring to the end of the war in every route, with “dawn” here referring to peace, and the price being the countless lives lost in the war. Then again, each route’s definition of “peace” is rather shaky, some more so than others, so it could refer to each individual leader’s goals being reached in their routes at the cost of a war.))

[we-are-colleagues]

Villanelle - Character Analysis: Power & Growth:

Villanelle doesn’t kill without reason. 

This season has put a spotlight on her motivations, that can be traced back to S1. Villanelle kills for power and for Control. She’s not some Ted Bundy who kills to get her rocks off. It’s the power that she craves (and she gets off on). The changes we are seeing in Villanelle in the recent episodes are a product of this core drive and motivation being challenged. 

In S3, we hear Villanelle vocalise this connection. A lot. She names the scent she confronts Eve in "Power". She purses her family because she believes the knowledge – the truth – will make her more powerful. She agrees to work for the Twelve again because she is promised power.

The key to changes we are seeing unfold in Villanelle is due to them unpicking the driving force behind her actions. In her mind killing and violence has always granted her power and control. It’s a link her upbringing cemented in her and that The Twelve have fostered ever since.

The Evolution of Her Kills

The first kill we ever see on screen is bone-chilling (The Hairpin). She absolutely delights in the kill. It’s like she drains the life force out of him as he falls to his knees before her. She feels powerful watching him die.

But even in S2, her glee is diminished. I think immediately of the pig kill. Konstantin is distracting her in Amsterdam with this job. She’s killing for a scorned wife, hardly the world-changing targets she’s used to. She’s bored the whole episode and missing Eve. She has to dress the kill up to intrigue herself and to get Eve’s attention. To Konstantin, afterwards, she remarks, ‘It didn’t feel like anything’. That thrill from S1 is absent. She didn’t feel powerful killing this man and the experience pales incomparison to what Eve makes her feel.

In general, as of S2 there is no more looking into people’s eyes as she kills them. The last time she really felt the power she chases was when she killed Aaron Peel and it turned out Carolyn was using her. Then, of course, when she watched Eve kill Raymond, where she was the one controlling Eve and seemingly, getting everything she wanted.

The kills in S3 ramp up this contrast to S1. Her spice kill lacks her usual flamboyance, she’s more interested in posing the body and challenging Dasha than the kill. She wants to prove she’s better, more powerful. Her garden kill is almost merciful. She takes more joy in playing with the woman than killing her. 

Villanelle is motivated this season not so much by the power she feels from each kill, but the power promised to her by Dasha and The Twelve if she makes it to the rank of Keeper.

Her Relationship With Eve

This hardwired understanding is challenged when she attempting to kill Eve and their connection. Let’s dive into why she shot Eve, framed through this understanding of why Villanelle kills. 

Villanelle’s perception of love is also skewered around control. Villanelle tries to narrow Eve’s world and her options to just running away with her to Alaska. When Eve realises she’s been manipulated, Eve acknowledges how they are alike by chooses to walk away anyway.

Villanelle has just borne her soul to Eve, made herself vulnerable by telling Eve that she loves her and she’s shut down. Completely. As soon as that happens Villanelle feels like she’s lost control of this situation, of Eve, of herself and she shots. It purely an attempt to regain some control and power, as killing and violence have always been for her.

Villanelle believes Eve is dead and six months later she is talking about her on her wedding day. When she finds out Eve is alive, she can’t pretend that she was in control of their connection or had gotten over Eve. That is why she makes such a show of her power to Eve as if to say “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t die, I’m more powerful than ever now”. She dresses in a men’s suit, wears the perfume Power and invades Eve’s life on her commute to work. Even physically she takes control of Eve. But it doesn’t mean anything in the end. Eve has just as much if not more power than Villanelle in that scene. She has the power to give Villanelle what she really wants.

(Look I was gonna put a quote here from Sandra Oh about Villanelle being physically stronger than Eve in the bus scene but she still never hurting her. And that it demonstrates how Eve’s power over Villanelle’s psyche continues to grow. I can’t find it anywhere so like let me know if you know what I’m talking about. I swear it exists.)

UPDATE (edit): I found it.

"Villanelle at all times can physically overpower Eve, but what grows is Eve's influence on Villanelle's psyche. Which is like [Villanelle] won't, even though she can"  X

Villanelle entire relationship with Eve is a push and pull of power where Eve maintains her power without violence (aside from the stabbing in S1). In the bus scene, it is won through an act of affection, or omission that she feels similarly about Villanelle. 

Her Mother

What trying to kill Eve started, killing her mother finished.

Villanelle thinks killing her mother will give her control, give her power over herself.  Literally serve as a way to kill her demons. However, I think Jodie put it best in this interview:

“You can see the regret that she is already feeling but feels she has to go through with it — because I think she feels it’s the only way she feels she can fully kill her past and the woman that she was,” Comer says. “But actually in some ways, it’s like she kills Villanelle; it’s Oksana who is her true self and who she can’t get away from. So I think actually by doing what she has done, it has the complete opposite effect of what she was hoping for. For me now, at this point, I think Villanelle is her own worst enemy, and she’s coming to the realization that that may have been the case all along.” x

If we compare her killing Tatiana to say her first kill. The choice to not show her killing her mother cannot be ignored. It’s like even Villanelle doesn’t want to look at it:

“Villanelle has always looked into the eyes of those she’s killed, and in one draft the kill was actually [depicted], and I was like, ‘Maybe she can’t look at her; maybe she has to cover her mother’s face. This isn’t as easy as she thinks,'” Comer tells Variety. “I think Villanelle’s having a real identity crisis after the events of Episode 5.”

Villanelle doesn’t expect it to but killing her mother wounds her. Robs her of some of her power and makes her lose control.

S3 pulled off what could have been a disastrous dive into Villanelle’s past. You are encouraged to understand Villanelle was always like this. Probably would have always been. But we are also meant to see her mother’s influence, especially on her understanding of power and control and why she would be so fixation on obtaining it after being under her mother thumb.

We see Tatiana’s influence affecting her brothers lives as well. Pyotr stays there simply because he is told to. He has his own anger issues which he takes out on a couch. Pyotr attempts to control that side of himself, while Villanelle has always lent into it. She even suggests he just take it out on people instead, it will make him feel better. She doesn’t understand the need or benefit in controlling her own darkness.

In many of the scenes where Villanelle speaks to others about her mother, she mentions her mother’s covert and overt attempts to control all of them. Villanelle hopes that killing her mother might finally free her, give her back control. But in a echo of her advice to Pyotr taking it out on her mother doesn’t make her feel any better.

Dasha 

My assessment of Dasha’s role in this season has change from 3x01. She was quite impressive in the first ep. She looked dangerous, which she is, but having spent more time with her and seen how Villanelle easily copied her signature kill, how she messed up killing Niko and how she lost at bowling to Eve. It’s clear she’s a washed up has-been assassin. I think in a way she is meant to make Villanelle consider the future available to her in this kind of life.

Dasha is one of the few assassins that makes it to old age. Villanelle is too confident to consider she would die doing this job. That said, I don’t think she’s given much thought to her future, especially not one without Eve.

Dasha is our glimpse at it. A woman, who when she should be retired, rich, and happy is still playing this game. She can’t even return home. Whatever power Dasha wield doesn’t grant her what she wants. Her legacy and her status have earnt her little. She is still taking orders from the same people. This must surely motivate Villanelle’s ascent through the ranks of The Twelve. Villanelle is after power and Dasha is dwarfed by the likes of Hélène

 Keeper, but not a keeper

This brings us to 3x06. Villanelle is finally made a Keeper, the job description isn’t as lavish as she hoped. They offer her more money, more material possession but send her on the same old missions. Where is the power she was promised? It is here where she finally gets a whiff of how much The Twelve are truly controlling her.

I think this is why the Hairdresser kill goes so poorly. To kill this man is almost a forfeit of her power, to knowingly do it when she is being control. She knows she’s been fooled. It must be driving her crazy. Cause this is bullshit.  For the first time she feels like a pawn working for The Twelve rather than powerful.

She’s just killed her mother. She’s head deep in her childhood trauma, that is all centred around being used and controlled. This insult from The Twelve hits different. Killing no longer offers what she always sought from it. The strings are pulling loose on what makes Villanelle, Villanelle. Talk about an identity crisis.

It’s all quite raw, she’s changing before our eyes, I doubt we will see this weepy emotional Villanelle forever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this unlinking of power and control with killing suddenly make Villanelle a saint. Not a single part of her felt bad for the man she killed, she just didn’t want to do it.  

It might lead Villanelle to ask whether she has ever been in control of her own darkness. We talk so much about Eve letting go, perhaps, on the other side of that Villanelle needs to take control and realise she is her own worst enemy sometimes.

In the same episode, Villanelle falls apart we see Eve wield her own power and darkness without violence, even though we know she’s capable of it. We are watching Eve reach an equilibrium with her darkness while Villanelle is seesawing.

In summary, this season has reinforced and emphasised why Villanelle does what she does – for power and control - and then gone on to challenge her understanding of it completely. It’s given Villanelle room to grow and change.

I think it’s so interesting, if you can’t tell from reading this whole thing. I always thought the show would be too scared to change Villanelle so drastically, though some change is definitely necessary, especially for her and Eve to have anything stable. I thought the show relied too heavily on Villanelle pulling of a hit every episode to tamper with her drive to kill. But it’s delicious and opens up a world of possibility. This doesn’t mean we’ll get soft Villanelle anytime soon but maybe a more calculated Villanelle, whose interests better align with Eve’s. 

[smallersocksx]

Pokémon Character Analysis: Iris

With Iris set to return to the anime in next week’s episode of Journeys. I decided to take the time to analyse her character as I’ll be honest, Iris isn’t one of my favourite travelling companions. However, now that I’m older and I’ve taken the time to analyse her character. I realise, that a lot of the hate Iris receives is slightly over the top.

As with all my reviews/analyses, I’ll keep them under the cut. So, if you want to keep reading, that’s great!

Introduction:

As many people that have read my previous reviews and know me, may know I am a huge fan of the Diamond and Pearl games and anime series. I will be the first to say, I know Diamond and Pearl wasn’t a perfect series, honestly, there is no such thing as a perfect series. But as a follow-up to DP, Black and White was definitely a let-down for a lot of fans, either because of completely resetting Ash’s knowledge which was honestly an insult to his DP incarnation, his travelling companions or the fact that he lost to Cameron of all people in the Vertress Conference. BW in some aspects left a lot to be desired.

Nevertheless, this post is focusing on Iris, a companion similar to Goh, a lot of fans love to hate particularly because of her infamous catchphrase “You’re such a kid.” Looking back, this was one of the things that did make me drop the series, keep in mind I was 11 when BW started airing. So, hearing a character that is meant to be the same age or younger than you say "You’re such a kid!” Over and over again, got annoying quite quickly.

However, looking back the usage of that infamous catchphrase was probably exaggerated. Whilst, working past that I still didn’t come to love Iris. Considering, Iris is meant to be one of the main character and similar to Goh, they are meant to be written in a way that makes us want to see them grow, cheer them on and be happy when they succeed. Nonetheless, when you look at the way they are written and their development it just makes it abundantly clear that Iris and Goh are the victims of poor writing.

Iris’ Initial Characterisation:

The aspect that made me drop the series was Iris’ initial characterisation particularly the infamous phrase “You’re such a kid” which as I mentioned in the introduction, which with the benefit of hindsight I can see the usage of it has been exaggerated. Nevertheless, it doesn’t change the fact that it was annoying. Especially, given when Ash meets Iris, he had defeated legendaries by this point, acquired 36 badges (that’s including the Orange Archipelago badges) and defeated the Battle Frontier. Whereas Iris may have had good battling prowess and at one point had a 99-battle winning streak, but, her Axew was a newborn with hardly any battling experience and her Excadrill was refusing to listen to her.

Many people use the defence that Misty called Ash a kid yet she doesn’t nearly receive as much hate. To be fair, when Misty met Ash, he was a rookie trainer and Misty was a gym leader, so Misty at least had the position and knowledge to back her up. However, this was only an issue at the beginning of the series and the insults tend to die down, but, that initial characterisation is what stopped me from watching the series since my 11-year-old self did not have the patience for that.

Iris’ Goal:

Iris’ goal is to become a Dragon Master, however, by the end of Black and White, Iris opts to travel to Johto to battle Clair and following the conclusion of that battle she opts to follow the direction she saw Rayquaza flying. When I look at this conclusion, I’m honestly confused, I have no sense of whether or not Iris is any closer to achieving her goal. Or even throughout the series, we get no sense of how anyone who wants to master any Pokémon typing reaches their goal, a majority of type specialists typically end up in the position of Gym Leader or Elite Four. But Iris never once expressed a desire to be a Gym Leader or any higher-ranking position. Which, makes Drayden decision to choose Iris as his successor, all the more unusual to me. I suppose in one way it gives Iris a position/goal to work towards but given Iris’ free-spirited personality, having someone choose her path rather than choosing it herself feels unnatural.

Additionally, an obvious method to becoming a type specialist is catching Pokémon of the same type you want to specialize in and little more than half of Iris’ team actually consist of Dragon-types. I understand Gym Leaders having at least one alternative type to give their team diversity and cover their weaknesses. As shown by Candice owning a Medicham and Piers having a Toxtricity in his party later in the SW/SH games. But, Excadrill fits the bill more than Emolga as Excadrill is part of Steel-type which covers Iris’ team’s weaknesses to Ice and the newly introduced Fairy-types. That is not to say that I dislike Emolga or anything but it felt like she was an unusual catch.

I am aware Clemont only had one Electric-type on hand when travelling with Ash, to be fair, the remainder of his Electric-types were at the Lumiose Gym and before catching his Bunnelby he displayed apprehension at handling other types of Pokémon.

Axew:

I like to think of the characters’ first Pokémon or their partner Pokémon as a mirror reflecting their growth. Take May and Blaziken, they mirror one another’s development perfectly as when Blaziken was a Torchic much like May, he was inexperienced and unsure of himself. When Torchic evolved to Combusken, at this point May had won two Contest Ribbons and began to feel confident in her Coordinating skills. Once, Torchic evolved into Combusken he developed that same level of confidence, he didn’t feel the need to compete for May’s attention and wasn’t bullied or intimidated by other Pokémon like Ash’s Corphish. Then Combusken evolves to Blaziken in the penultimate episode, once May has decided to leave the group, travel through Johto on her own and find her own battling style. At this point, May has chosen to become independent and this reflects in Combusken, her first Pokémon evolving into his final stage. My point being I like to think every travelling companions’ ace reflects their character growth and I don’t get that same feeling with Iris and Axew.

Now it is clear that Iris and Axew care for one another and there is also the twist that Axew wasn’t Iris’ first Pokémon. However, for a majority of the series, Axew was Iris’ only Dragon-type and in the sixth episode, he has a dream of evolving into his final stage. After that, the idea of Axew evolving is hardly addressed. As I’ve mentioned, evolving or choosing not to evolve are one method of allowing Pokémon to develop, considering, Axew has expressed a desire to evolve, I think he should have at least evolved into Fraxure before the BW series concluded. As aside from him learning Dragon-type moves and developing as a battler, once, Dragonite’s introduced he’s kind of pushed to the sidelines and doesn’t develop any further.

Many fans are hoping by Iris’ appearance in Journeys, Axew has evolved into Haxorus. However, if Axew had evolved into Fraxure by the end of the series, then his evolution into Haxorus would feel more natural to me.

Dragonite:

I will be honest; I am not a huge fan of Iris’ Dragonite. It felt as though, the writers forgot to give her an additional Dragon-type and just rewarded her with this random Dragonite. Also, there is the fact, that Dragonite was disobedient towards Iris despite the fact he joined her team willingly. This display of disobedience reflects poorly on Iris as a trainer, especially after Excadrill’s arc. Moreover, Iris has had some of her best moments throughout the series with the other Unovan Dragon-types such as Druddigon and Deino both of which would have been great captures for her particularly Deino as she has a Hydreigon in the games.

Also, HE. SHOULD. HAVE. LOST. TO. DAWN’S. MAMOSWINE!!!! (and I’m not just saying that because I love Dawn and her Mamoswine)

If the writers absolutely felt that they had to give Iris a Dragonite, they could have at least done it whilst she was in Johto since Dragonite’s pre-evolutions can be found in Dragon’s Den and Route 45. It honestly would have made more sense than giving her a Gible which isn’t even native to Johto and we haven’t even been given a hint on whether or not Gible is appearing in the next episode.

Conclusion:

I think posting my thoughts, always, manages to clear my head. Now whilst, Iris wasn’t my favourite travelling companion of Ash’s. I feel as though some of the hate towards her is exaggerated as she has had some great moments and development throughout BW. One of my favourite arcs in BW, was Iris restoring her relationship with Excadrill which was one of the most poignant moments of the series.

I think if the writers did a better job as well at establishing Iris’ goals – we understand she wants to be a Dragon Master, but does she want to become a gym leader? A caretaker of Dragon-types (similar to Liza of Charicific Valley)? If they had established this from the beginning, we would have had a better understanding of the direction they wanted to take with Iris’ development.

As well, in the games, Iris has a better relationship with Drayden as she affectionately refers to him as “Grandpa”, I think if they transferred that relationship into the anime, it would have made Drayden’s choice of selecting Iris as his successor feel a lot more natural.

All in all, I feel as though Iris was the victim of some arguably poor and weird writing choices and she isn’t the only character to experience this throughout the series. After writing this, I am looking forward to Ash vs Iris next week, but you have to hope they don’t pull the same stunt as they did with Korrina and diminish all of Iris’ efforts and training during her absence. At least we’ll finally get to see Dracovish in action as well!

[imnameim]

suni, you who have been watching kyun since no.mercy, what does it feel to see where he is now? like all of his growth and everything? please extend as much as you'd like sjdjs I wanna read you 👁️👁️

you've unleashed the emotional simp;; this is a lot and I apologise in advance for the unseen tears that may occur. 💜

ahhhhh;; carly why'd you do this to me. Okay I'll try to keep it short even though you said extend as much as I want so tbh this can go either way.

firstly;; it's a full circle thing. it makes me really emotional because like I remember watching no Mercy like it was yesterday.😭 I remember coming home from school like yes!!! the boys!!! (including the other trainees. The ep 8 rolled around and not to be cheesy but that was it. I felt for him so much on no mercy especially the first time he was introduced to the guys and everyone was cold and closed off and HE KEPT TEARIN UP AND HE LOOKS ALL SAD AND SCARED. LIKE A LITTLE LOST PUPPY. I have ptsd from no mercy at this point. 😭💔

but seeing him now;; confident in himself;; proud of his work;; comfortable in his own skin essentially really just makes me admire him a lot. like I talked about it the whole week when his album dropped and I'm sure I annoyed so many people djdjjd;; but like it hit me so hard like a bus! That he went from being so shy and essentially closed off to a lot because he had those moments of loneliness and uncertainty especially with nu'bility and all not debuting etc. which yes it was sad but a blessing in disguise because now look at him. He's worked so hard and seeing over the years all his layers and colors become more vibrant just makes me wanna cry happy tears of course.

I have this thing where;; you know all idols go through things and Changkyun himself is very private so him saying he's having a hard time every now and again really hit me to the point I want to take his pain(?). You don't want to see the person/people who bring you joy and happiness and so much comfort having a hard time right? It's like that. He grew comfortable over the years with sharing and bearing himself to monbebes and I cannot express how happy and grateful I am that I witnessed it in real time.

Seeing the kid on no mercy who was uncertain and scared vs the man who is proud of his work; confident in himself and his body; and seeing article after article written about how talented he is. How much he's been dominating the charts etc. It's surreal and really I think he deserves it all.

Yeah he's my kpop boy whatever;; but I genuinely look up to him as a person and artist. He works hard to better himself but he's also not silent about things that don't sit well with him and for him to release this solo album called duality about being happy but not being happy and all those emotions just hit hard because it's what a lot of people deal with some more then others. So for my "comfort person" to release something with such a comforting message that isn't the typical korean music vibe because he wants and decided to stay true to himself makes me super proud as if my son just won his soccer game or the feeling you get when you finally finish a 10-page thesis dksns.

It's just a very warm feeling and kinda bittersweet in a sense. Like I don't know how to describe; but in the sense that we were a small fandom once and now he's being himself fully and authentically and so many eyes are on him and he's doing so well you watch in admiration? that feeling 🥺❤️

so what I'm trying to say is;; I'm proud of him and who he is today. he inspires me everyday and I genuinely think yes he's showing us his layers but there's still so much to learn about him as he learns etc. I've grown up with him and the rest of monsta x in general so seeing how far they've come and grown and matured and changed and molded into the men they are makes me super happy. Even me I've grow so much but I'm still the same just a bit softer I'd think and more naive because I want to be open to people and I want to be the comfort they are to me to essentially someone who needs it but doesn't know then or have that type of person in their life? does this makes sense??

anyways:; carly;; you've made me cry I hope you're happy kyun can stay at your place for the night 😭💔

[princeofassassins]

CR Quarantine meta thoughts

So I thought I’d give a quick approximation of where I am with Critical Role and where I think C2 will go and where the characters still have to go before the campaign comes to a close. 

In order name-wise

1. Beauregard 

As of right now she seems to be in not the best place. Her major goal along with Caleb’s for the last 40 chapters was to bring an end to the war. Now that there’s an uneasy peace, she’s partially conflicted on what to do next and how the people behind this war should face justice and whether the costs of that could outweigh the risks. She also wants to tell jester about how she feels and her apprehension to this seems to be based on her self worth. This came up again as a result of visiting her father and she seems to think that she could lose everything and go back to being an outsider without a place again. There’s also her old girlfriend who was arrested that the party might run into. Not to avoid mentioning, Yasha and her having some feeling toward each other before E69 and how her returning may complicate her feelings with Jester. A lot of moving pieces. How she deals with her feelings and her family is something I’m definitely interested in. 

2. Caduceus 

Caduceus is currently finding his purpose in helping others find theirs and seems to be committed until some arbitrarily defined point where everyone seems fine off on their own. I do think part of him will realize that he’s not beholden to these people and that he doesn’t owe them anything and they like him for who he is. I think he knows this subconsciously but he’s a very duty driven man and it’ll be interesting to see how this changes when he realizes the M9 have developed over time and might not need him but still continue to want him. There’s also still the grove and whether what he has done is enough to save it. This remains to be seen and might be handled more towards the endgame depending on how powerful the source of the corruption is. 

3. Caleb 

Caleb seems to have progressed a lot on overcoming his desire to change fate. He straight up mentions “ you can’t change the past” in talking about personal compliance in causing harm but I don’t think he’s completely over the ideas of going back in time and erasing his sin from happening. He’s certainly much more comfortable with where he is now and has found himself a family again. His main goal right now still seems to be finding away to bring the Cerebrus Assembly (or more accurately the bad seeds in the assembly) to justice without jeopardizing the unsteady peace they’ve won. This seems to be leading into Mighty Nein Navy Seals Vigilantism but might involve a ton of investigative journalism as well. I have no doubt that his plot hook and that of his former organization will continue to play a big role in the story going forward. The extent he can change the organization and possibly even turn his childhood friends away from the path of trent is another interesting side plot. The same goes for his buddy Essek and how he decides to react to Caleb wanting him to make amends for the mistake he’s made. 

4. Fjord

Fjord is a super interesting character especially when comparing him before and after the Pirate Arc. A lot of people, for clear reasons, separate Fjord’s attitude based on when he lost his accent but to me his change in personality came a bit earlier than that. His role as a character for the Mighty Nein early on was as one of the faces, the badass Texan smooth guy who was able to get what he wanted generally easy and was afraid of flexing his martial might. This kind of escalated a bit, one of the moments which really stuck with me was when he cut off Algar’s hand after he already had him beaten. It’s mentioned by Fjord later on that he found himself using more power / violence as a short cut to get where he wanted and that he feels he started to cheat himself by doing so. Once they ended their pirate adventure, Fjord seemed like he took more of a backseat with his role as a leader in the group and I think part of that was due to him questioning if he really deserved to be a leader. This also tied in with him questioning whether following Ukotoa was the right choice and his realization he couldn’t game the system and earn powers with nothing expected in return. This culminated in him renouncing Satan...I mean Uka’Toa and following the Wildmother as a paladin. Since he has done so he’s starting to act more reasonably and less impulsive when there’s a possibility of conflict. He’s humbled himself and I think he feels it’s more freeing than what he was before he changed as a person. The one thing that has accompanied this though is a string of combat misfortunes (due to dumb luck) which is a neat perpendicular to his personal growth. He feels more free and more himself but he may feel weaker than he did when he was putting on a mask. I don’t think this will lead to him having second thoughts as a Paladin but I think it’s building up to him eventually assuming a larger role asa leader once he truly realizes that he can be both himself AND great. Caduceus has mentioned this before about ‘one day someone will ask for a miracle and you’ll be there to help’ and I cannot wait for the moment where Fjord is able to get a HDYWTDT and be generally badass in his New Voice and prove to himself that he had nothing to worry about. 

5. Jester

Jester is my favorite version of a cheerful but awkward person, earlier on she kind of had me worrying about how much trouble she’d get them into but I over time realized that she has control over what she does and when she’s chaotic randomly vs when she has a purpose behind it. Case in point, the Cupcake Scene which was excellent and super risky but really paid off. Right now she’s dealing once again with how she feels as a disciple of the Traveler and the revelation he’s not a god revealed to her right before Travellercon. Now she’s kind of wondering what to do with several other devotees and what even will happen with him in the future regarding his divinity. I’m very interested in how this event will shape out and if there’s any 3rd party intervention into the story that will occur at this place during the time. It just seems like a narrative point where Matt could reveal something huge. But then again everyone expected fireworks at the meeting at Sea and cooler heads prevailed so maybe everything will work out swimmingly. Anyways I can’t wait to see what her next journey is after Travellercon, it will probably involve her dad and mother and may involve Darktow and is sure to not be predictable. There’s also her romance options but there’s a myriad of ways that could go and everyone else on tumblr has mentioned it so I’ll leave my peace there. 

6. Veth

Veth essentially got exactly what she wanted and there’s no grand reason for her to stick around besides her enjoying the company of these people and possibly something similar like Caduceus’ “To the end of the road” type thing. She loves her family obviously the most of all, which was most pointedly seen when she insulted Caleb and blamed him for what happened to her husband after being super supportive of him for the first 49 episodes. I think she still has a lot of growth to do as a character and there might be an avenue with her prejudices. Someone else on here has mentioned it before but basically, Veth is kind of a suburban wine mom who believes a bunch of stereotypes and has a “us vs them” type of mentality. That’s one possibly route for her to go if she decides to stick around for awhile. It is possible a huge event is around the corner that throws Wildemount into disarray and requires her to stay for awhile but we’re currently in a limbo where her leaving after travelercon would make sense. 

7. Yasha

Yasha is right now in a bit of a floating period. She really wants to make up for her role in Obann’s schemes even though it’s not her fault. She had a heart to heart with Caleb where he basically told her the pain never really goes away but it can be eased by the company by the company you keep. So her redemption can be pretty open-ended. I really want to see her wings again and please let them be white and feathery, I would love it. There’s also the possibility of her wife being alive / them running into her old tribe, with the boss behind it still being alive and there being some sort of conflict like how Grog had his issues with the Herd of Storms. Ashley is a full time member for the first time so hopefully there’s a lot to do with her on the cards and we get to see more juicy fireside interactions with the Nein. 

[tamsin-moon]

Pokemon Sword/Shield Ages and Family

This is a post I have been wanting to make since I have been thinking about making a blog. I understand that others may not completely agree with my opinions, but that is why they are opinions. To be noted characters that are obviously underage are still underage, they just might not be as underage. This will be based off wiki information and how I feel they are in game. Also these are the ages I will write them in any request. This will be changed if/when we get more canon information

Hop, Victor/Gloria, Bede, Marnie: 13. Personally I have never liked the idea of a person starting their Pokemon journey at the age of ten. I am sorry, when I was ten as much as I would have loved it, I could not have handled it and while three years does not seem like much there can be major growth and development, not to mention learning. I can see at age ten they start preparing to start their journey, learning camping and the like, but that I about it.

Leon: 21. This I am not changing the fact he won the championship at ten and became the reason they changed the entry age to thirteen. This would also make Hop three at the time he became champion so little brother would be able to remember it and Leon would not be the type to leave mom home with a newborn. (I headcanon that their dad either died/left around when Hop was born with just how much Hop looks up to Leon)

Sonia: 21. She was Leons rival during their gym challenge until she dropped out, this was stated in the game so, same age. She was raised by her grandmother and I think might have lost both parents a little before starting the gym challenge.

Milo: 24. A guess really, but he looks around this age to me. Slightly older then Leon and Raihan, definitely more mature. It is canon that he has a younger brother and I headcanon that brother at 12, he and their parents alive and well on the farm, but Milo possibly having his own farmhouse on another corner of it for some independence.

Nessa: 24. Same as Milo being a guess, an only child and it is on her league card that her father is a fisherman and her mother works in the marketplace. By now she would have her own home, though, but is on good terms with her parents.

Kabu: 47. He is definitely older and by appearance alone is older than Melony, but I don’t think he has reached fifty yet. Definitely has a lot of life and energy left in him, family back in Hoenn.

Bea: 16. She is older then the protagonists but definitely younger than everyone else. Parents alive and well, pushed her to be strong and good quick, do not accept losing and passed that to her is my headcanon, especially after the Twilight Wings episode (go watch it!)

Allister: 11. Youngest out of everyone and according to league card had an accident at age four to why he always wears the mask. I can see he lost his parents then and has been an orphan since. I have a headcanon that Bea is his cousin and her family took him in, but basically left him to himself and alone. Bea spends time with him when she can, but it is mostly him and his pokemon.

Opal: 88. This is canon in game, though don’t say it to her face. She adopted Bede and I honestly have no idea on other family

Melony: 43. If Gordie is her oldest child, which I headcanon he is, then she would have to be this age to have had him when she was nineteen and I can easily see her as the started as a young mom type. Married then too to a good man that I headcanon passed away five years prior to game start. Can see her unnamed kids at 20 for the daughter, 16 for two sons and 12 for the last son.

Gordie: 24. See above?

Piers: 25. While there is nothing official mentioning their parents the general consensus seems to be that he has been Marnies guardian since she was really young. I am going to headcanon it that Marnie was four and Piers was sixteen when they lost their parents so he already had a foothold in Spikemuth, maybe even gym leader already and definitely already starting his music career. He is definitely mature and will older brother anyone his sisters age, least that is the vibe I got during post game.

Raihan: 23. I think he is older then Leon, but not by much and has been his rival since Leon came through Hammerlocke before he became champ. As for his family, only child and I think his parents are still alive, possibly work in the vault and he took after training dragon pokemon from his dad.

[andipxndy-writes]

holiday mishaps (part 3)

fandom: alex rider x ncis [crossover] warnings: typical ncis stuff requested by: @lilcoffeecup word count: 4.5k

cross posted to ao3

summary: Alex Rider just wanted a relaxing holiday, somewhere where he could relax without any trouble cropping up. And with Jack and her family, he almost got that. ALMOST. And then he had to go and take a midnight walk. On the other hand... Ziva David swears she recognises the fair-haired witness to their murder case.

holiday mishaps

It turned out that one of the cousins had, in fact, gone and blabbed to Jack about what had happened in the park, and she had been far less than pleased that it had happened without her there as his guardian. Because, of course, Alex was a minor. They couldn’t be asking him those things without a guardian there to make sure they weren’t going too far in their questioning. Of course, Alex knew that he could very much handle whatever line of questioning they threw at him — he was far stronger than most people knew, and he had been through a lot more than most adults had anyway. Jack technically didn’t need to worry about him, but she did anyway. Because of everything he had been through, and because of the effects it had had on him the past couple of years.

He had to admit, though, watching Jack make that phone call to NCIS and yell at their agents over the phone for questioning Alex without an adult present was more than a little amusing, and Alex had sat there snacking on the rest of the box of Cheerios whilst she’d yelled like it was an entertaining TV show. Which, in reality, it was when he wasn’t able to watch the same things he watched at home.

That hadn’t stopped them from calling again to ask whether he could come in to help more with profiling and come up with a facial profile for them to go off. Alex wasn’t sure how much he would have been able to help, considering everything had happened in very dim lighting and there was no guarantee that the facial features he thought he’d seen were accurate. He only recognised the man’s appearance as a whole, not just from his face. If it turned out to not be the guy he thought it was, then it wasn’t his problem anymore.

Now, though, he was as detached from the case as he could get. They didn’t really need his help anymore, considering he had given them as much as he could. At least, he had claimed to give them as much information as he could. There were some bits that he couldn’t quite tell them, for very good reasons. He could send the information to MI6 and ask them to forward it on to NCIS or deal with it themselves, but 1) they weren’t meant to know about the case anyway; and 2) he was on a break from them, and he didn’t exactly want to get himself back on their radar unless he was desperately needed.

Anyway, as he was distanced from the case (at least until they told him when they’d caught the guy), Jack had decided that he may as well be treated for going through what he had. In her eyes, it was the least she could do, even though he was more than grateful for not only the trip but for introducing him to her family. They’d taken him in as one of their own, and as someone who came from a very small family, it was very nice to have such a large family who cared. Not biological, of course, but he was definitely beginning to care for them, and he would fight to protect them if anything came up. Plus, he had been through worse, and wasn’t as if everything he’d gone through on the trip had been terrible, particularly when it came to her family.

So she had taken him to the mall. It was crowded, of course, which made Alex more than a little uncomfortable, but considering all of the different shops Jack was taking him into he deemed the discomfort more than a little worth it. There were various clothes shops she took him into to update his wardrobe, which he didn’t quite think was necessary but she did. He wasn’t going to argue with her on it, but he thought it was worth voicing his opinion. She did, however, take him into a couple of video game stores to see if there was anything he wanted to get. Of course, he pointed out that any DVDs would likely be region-locked, and it would probably have been the same for the video games, but at least he had an idea of what he wanted to get so that he could buy them when they got back home.

Needless to say, Alex was actually enjoying the shopping trip with Jack. It was refreshing to do something with her that wasn’t about his “job” or his school work or about anything in his life that troubled them. They just got to have fun, and not think about things, for a day.

It didn’t exactly last long.

In Alex’s defence, he hadn’t anticipated it, even though he had a feeling that he probably should have anticipated it considering his luck. If anything, he thought it was downright ironic that after a man had died in his arms, the man’s killer should come after him as if he had been the original target. Which, of course, he wasn’t completely sure about because there were many people who had died because of him and many people who had simply got in the way when someone coming for him was on a rampage. But now he was stuck, and in a fair bit of danger because, of course, he was a target for a killer. A drug dealer, yes, but a killer on the side clearly.

The two of them had been wandering through the crowds when Alex felt the strange little tingle at the back of his neck — a tingle that told him he was being watched. He, of course, thought it was strange that he felt as if he was being watched in a mall full of people, but tried to brush it off anyway. Perhaps his usual strange “spy senses” were acting up and becoming paranoid, thinking that someone was coming after him when he was safe.

When the feeling didn’t go away, no matter how much he tried to brush it off, he knew that something was wrong.

The two of them headed into the next store Jack had on their list of places to head to — a store for shoes, because Alex needed a couple of new pairs of trainers. He had reached his rapid-growing phase again, and this time his feet had decided to take advantage of his growth spurts and had gone up at least a whole size. Which meant that the majority of his shoes no longer fit, no matter how new or old they were. He mentally noted that when they returned to England, he would have to donate the newer small pairs of shoes to charity shops and simply bin or recycle the older pairs. For now, though, he could look through all of the different pairs on sale and pick a couple to take home… as long as the pairs were in his (new) size.

He had just sat down to try on a pair of trainers that he’d liked the look of when he felt the tingling at the back of his neck again, and he straightened. There was… definitely something wrong. Turning, he realised the main large store window was directly behind him, which meant that anyone could look through the window and see him.

Which wouldn’t have been so worrying if he hadn’t felt so on edge. The crowds were passing the window as usual, various individuals glancing into the shop and the items on display at the window, and Alex was beginning to think that he was just imagining being watched.

And then he saw them.

A pair of eyes standing within the crowd, further from the window than most of the people passing by. Staring directly at him. He wanted to say he had been imagining the eyes, and when he turned back to try on the shoes and then turned back to find the eyes gone he certainly thought he had been imagining it all.

He hadn’t quite considered how wrong that conclusion was until, whilst they were paying for a couple of pairs of shoes at the till, he felt the tingling again and he looked over his shoulder to see the eyes staring at him.

And they were considerably closer than they had been before.

He decided it was best not to mention anything about it to Jack until they got out of the store and were amongst the crowds again, where he could lose the person if he needed to. Part of him hoped he could just lose the person and not have to mention it at all to Jack. Of course, his luck didn’t work that way.

“There’s someone following us.”

Jack almost stumbled over her own two feet. “What? Alex!” She scowled at him. “Don’t kid about that sort of thing!” And then she noticed the look on his face, and her heart dropped. “You’re not kidding.”

Alex didn’t even bother answering that. “We need to split up.”

“What?”

Alex could just tell she was going to argue with that logic. “If they’re after us both, splitting us up means they have to cover more ground, and it’s easier to lose people when you’re on your own.” And if they were just after him, which was more likely, it meant that Jack was safe. He refused to lose her to any sort of villain ever again.

She looked like she wanted to fight him, to argue against him, but they’d been through so much together and she knew that he knew what he was on about. He didn’t make decisions like that on a whim. He calculated the risks, even when the calculation was a split-second decision.

Alex knew he’d won when she sighed.

“We meet at the food court in an hour,” she decided. “You call me if you can’t make it, and you tell mall security. I don’t need you getting kicked out for trying to protect yourself.”

Alex thought there were people more important than mall security that he could call, but he nodded anyway. He appreciated the sentiment behind what Jack was saying anyway. “Stay hidden and out of sight.”

“Got it.”

And with that, they split up. Alex could only hope that they both lost whoever was following them so that they could go on with the rest of their day in peace. Somehow, though, he had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen.

***

“What’ve you got for me?”

Ziva had just dumped her bag down when Gibbs walked into the bullpen with his usual coffee, moving as briskly as usual. They were in a hurry, of course. Not that it was anything different from usual, but they had him. They had their prime suspect, their likely killer.

Except they didn’t have him.

Ziva didn’t want to speak first, she really didn’t, but it turned out she was going to be the one to speak first (if the look that she was sharing with Tony was any indication). Screw her partner, he could be such an ass sometimes.

“We went to Paulo Rossi’s apartment,” she started, moving to head towards Gibbs’ desk so that she wasn’t just speaking to him over his computer as he sat. “He wasn’t there, and his roommate said that she hadn’t seen him all day. She claimed that he was often out at that time of day.” Of course, the tone that she said it in was more than enough to tell Gibbs that Ziva hadn’t believed the woman one bit, but he didn’t question it, leaving Ziva to go on. “We asked about where he usually goes and she didn’t have any sort of idea, but one of his neighbours told us that he was often seen down in two main locations — an area of the park, and near the local university.”

Of course, that sent off warning bells in all of their minds, if a drug dealer was hanging around and doing their business at a university, but it was also nothing out of the ordinary. They'd seen things like that happen far too often in their line of work.

“You search for him in those locations?” Gibbs asked, and it was at this point that Tony decided to speak up.

“Went to both of those places, found no trace of him anywhere,” he admitted. “His usual ‘contacts’ claimed to have not seen him around that day either — not since the day of the murder.”

That had also set off warning bells in Ziva’s head. Like the man was trying to run, or something. Or he had something else in mind that didn’t involve his usual drug dealing behaviours. Out of the two, she would rather it be the former — it was far easier to catch someone on the run than someone trying to do something else that could put more people in danger. And if he was a successful dealer, then he had a lot of money to access, meaning that the potential danger he could put people in—

“We got his cell phone number from his roommate,” Ziva cut her thoughts short before they could spiral and let her get distracted. That was not what she needed right then. Not when they were so close to solving the case.

“McGee!” Gibbs barked, and straight away he knew what to do. Tony placed the piece of paper with the cell number on it on McGee’s desk.

“Pinging his number now, boss.”

But if he wasn’t going on the run, what would he be doing instead? They had already looked up most of his history — most of his family were either dead or estranged from him, his girlfriend had gone into hiding to escape from him anyway, meaning that he was alone. There was no one he could or even would run to at a time like this, apart from one of his own agents or someone he dealt with. That left him going after someone who had put him in the position to have to run in the first place, to clear away anyone who could have seen his face that night.

Not many people had even been out at the time of the Petty Officer’s murder. Apart from…

“Tony,” Ziva suddenly said, turning to her partner. She could see on his face that he could already see the cogs turning in her mind, and he was ready to brainstorm with her. “When we were leaving his apartment, did you hear anything? See anything?”

Tony’s brow furrowed as he thought through what she was saying. She waited a few tense seconds, but eventually he said, “Nothing from outside the apartment. The streets seemed pretty clear. None of the other apartments really did anything loud—” And then he shot out of his chair, like the seat suddenly burned.

“The roommate made a call.”

That changed everything.

“She must have called Rossi to tell him that we were searching for him,” Ziva muttered. “He is onto us.”

“Which means that he’s trying to get rid of anyone who could have leaked that it was possibly him to us,” McGee chipped in. He gestured to the plasma. “He’s currently at the mall boss. Probably on the move, but inside the building.”

Who could have been inside the building for him to go after? Who was the only person who could have spotted him and leaked his information to the federal agents? Who was, therefore, the only person in danger at that moment in time?

Alex.

“It’s Alex,” Ziva admitted, and suddenly she was regretting going after the teen herself to get more information and not thinking to put more security on him for his own safety. “He is going after Alex. As far as we know, Alex is the only one alive who could have seen him. Alex must be in that mall.”

A split second later they were on the move.

“McGee, send us the address.”

“Got it boss!”

“Ping Alex’s phone and call him! Make sure he knows and that he gets to safety!” Gibbs was heading briskly out of the bullpen, not even needing to tell Tony and Ziva to follow after him. They were already hot on his heels, guns and badges in pockets and holsters and shouldering their bags, ready to do what needed to be done. Standing in the elevator, Ziva took a deep breath as she stood beside Tony, only hoping they weren’t too late.

“Hey,” Tony said softly, nudging her a little to get her attention, “we’ll get to him just fine. We don’t let people down.”

At least, they tried not to, and they tried very hard. It had happened before. They had made mistakes like this before. And whilst there was still that niggling feeling in the back of Ziva’s mind that she knew the teenager, she was already feeling like she’d let him down. Like she was the one who had put him in danger. If he died, if Rossi got away with what he wanted, she would never forgive herself.

“Besides,” Tony added, looking ahead with the smallest of smirks on his face, “school holidays. That building is gonna be packed. No way that he’s gonna find and catch Alex before we can warn him, right?”

“Don’t jinx it, Dinozzo,” Gibbs warned, and Ziva could only hope that the idiot beside her hadn’t gone and done exactly that.

***

And so we return to Alex’s predicament: stuck in the mall, hiding from someone, with his phone ringing in his pocket. He had a feeling the people sitting on the bench would look over and find him there whether he answered this phone or not, but if he didn’t answer there was a chance that he could be in more danger than before, and also a certainty that he would be forever curious about who had decided to call him.

Then again, he was meant to just be having a chill day with Jack at the mall. Not many people had his number, admittedly, but there was no reason to call him if you knew him. Not unless it was something important.

He let two rings go, waiting to see if it was some sort of spam caller who would let the call go if he didn’t pick up quickly, before actually answering the call. Huh. A private number. “Who is this?” he hissed into the phone as soon as he picked up, forgetting for a few precious moments that he was meant to be a regular teen with manners and not someone constantly assuming that a federal agency would call to employ his services. Again.

He knew he should have answered politely as soon as he heard the voice on the other side.

“Uh... Alex? Alex Rider? This is Special Agent McGee, from NCIS.”

Alex’s aggressive demeanour suddenly melted away. “Oh, uh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “hi. Sorry. I didn’t know who was calling.”

“That’s, uh, fine.” From his tone, Alex got the distinct feeling that it was not fine, but he wasn’t going to question it and let McGee carry on. “We have reason to believe someone may be after you.”

Well, it was a bit late for anyone to be telling Alex that, considering he already knew that someone was after him. But he let the agent continue on anyway. He was just doing his job, and at least they’d got into contact with him about it rather than just leaving him in the dark and possibly running for his life. Heck, he didn’t even know where Jack was. “Uh… really?” Though… that probably wasn’t the best answer to give in a situation like this, he realised.

“Yes. Agents are on their way to your location now, but until they arrive we’ll need you to get to a discrete location so that whoever is after you can’t find you.”

Easy enough to do, considering he was hidden behind a bench in a busy shopping centre. It wasn’t as if anyone was going to find him there, unless he got a little too cramped (which was beginning to happen right at that moment) and he needed to get up and stretch his legs (which he felt like he would need to do soon) so that they didn’t go numb from staying in that exact spot (which would definitely happen if he didn’t get up in the next few minutes). “Uh, I’m currently sat on a bench…” Well, technically behind, but he wasn’t going to tell him that.

There seemed to be a fair bit of tapping. “Do you know what stores are in your vicinity?”

Alex glanced around at the different stores around him, and blanched. As if he’d had the misfortune of running into the ladies’ lingerie district of the mall. “Uh… none that a teenage boy can comfortably walk into without getting very questionable looks from everyone inside.”

“…Right.”

Alex was so glad he didn’t have to explain himself.

“Are there any stores a little further out that you think you can get to without getting caught?”

Alex knew he could probably get around the whole mall without getting caught by whoever was chasing him, but he also didn’t want to risk his luck and end up getting caught because he got overly cocky. Not to mention the fact that if he spotted Jack, and they decided to start sneaking away together, she would be far too obvious in a crowd like this.

He had to come up with a plan.

“There… might be somewhere nearby that I could find?” A food cart would be the easiest, Alex supposed, but he was pretty sure there was a store around that didn't only sell women’s clothing and lingerie. Somewhere that would be more appropriate for him to get into. He’d just have to search.

Agent McGee hesitated for a moment, and Alex could hear his fingers stop clacking on his keyboard. As if he was hesitant about whatever the teen had in mind. Alex had to remind himself for a brief moment that the agent wasn’t doubting his skills, but rather he didn't know about exactly what damage he could cause if he were to be let loose on anyone who was coming after him like this. Not that he knew exactly who was coming after him, or why, but he was pretty certain that their intentions weren’t exactly pure.

“Okay, find somewhere safe, and do not move from that spot. And keep your phone on.”

That last instruction made Alex suspicious. Were they tracing his phone? “Are you tracing my phone to keep an eye on where I am?”

There was a pause on the other line, and Alex realised he had to think of a reason to explain that one. No normal teenager should be questioning a federal agent about tracking or tracing phones unless it was ironically. “I mean, I guess it’s a good idea,” he tacked on, pretty lamely in his opinion. “It means you know where I am without me having to call you or give away my position, I guess.”

Apparently, McGee wasn’t even going to question his tone. “Just keep your phone on, and head to a safe location. When the other agents arrive, I’ll alert them to your location to protect you.”

Alex wanted to say that he didn’t need protection, that he could handle himself, but Agent McGee had already cut the call, and he was still only a teenager in their eyes. He couldn’t do much in the way of protecting himself — at least, that was their opinion. Alex knew what he could and couldn’t do, and protecting himself and others was one of the things that he could do. Nevertheless, he got up from his position behind the bench, tucking his phone into his pocket. The people on the bench, who happened to be a fairly elderly woman and a man young enough to probably be her grandson, were watching him with confusion clear on their features. Alex gave them an awkward smile and half a wave, before carefully moving out from behind the bench. Once he was out, he looked around. There were people milling about everywhere, most of them obscuring his view, but he knew he couldn’t just stand there and wait. He had to find a store or something to hide in — and he had to find it fast.

***

It didn’t take too long for Alex to find somewhere that would be considerably more appropriate for him to hide in — a men’s store. Of course, he wasn’t nearly old enough to actually be shopping in there, but people didn’t give him weird looks as he walked in, and he at least looked old enough to be able to walk in there without getting questioned. On his way down there, he’d spent most of the time looking around, trying to see whether he could give any sort of indication as to where he was through landmarks if the agents were to call him to ask where he was. When he’d found the store, and therefore had its name tucked into the back of his mind, he’d given a sigh of relief.

At least it wouldn’t be too difficult to direct him there if they needed to find him.

Heading over to one of the clothes racks, Alex began to look through some of the clothes available there. There were mostly t-shirts on this rack, which meant that he would fit in pretty well since, well, he didn’t know anyone his age who would willingly walk into a men’s store and buy button-down shirts. So he grabbed a few of the t-shirts, hanging them over his arm as if he was really going shopping, before heading over to another of the racks. After venturing around a couple more racks, he ended up with a variety of t-shirts, jeans, shorts and short-sleeved shirts to try on in the changing rooms.

Because that was where he was going to hide. The changing rooms.

He guessed it was a pretty obvious hiding place, but it was also the last place you actually got to if you were searching through a store for a person. And if anyone decided to look for him in there, he would have more than enough time to prepare himself for any sort of oncoming attack if they had to enter through the front doors and make their way to the back. It would probably even give him enough time to escape, if he could get his timings right.

Getting a pass through to the back, he headed to the last-but-one stall, drawing the curtain closed and hanging everything up before climbing onto the bench — he would have a better chance at a surprise attack if they didn’t see his feet.

And then, checking to make sure he was ready and pulling a t-shirt off a hanger to use as a makeshift weapon, he waited.

[humanemotionssuck]

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

Gravity Falls S02E18 - Weirdmageddon Part I

I really like that name for the end of the world. I'm not sure what to expect from this one since this is literally new territory for everyone. My one hope is that Mabel gets forgiven easily but there has to be some drama, either for the twins or the Stans (since that relationship really needs some mending, and the end of the world seems to be a good place for that kind of thing.) I think that's all so let's do this!

If this is the first shot of the episode, things are going to get _weird_.

Wait. Wait. What.

Okay, had to go back and check Bill's summoning circle.

I completely forgot about this but I guess he needs all the symbols for something beyond summoning everything weird into this dimension? But why? Uhm.

Anyway, back in Dreamscaperers I wrote:

Glasses = The ones Stan found in the room with the magic carpet? Question Mark = Soos Ice - Fish with food? > Pine = Dipper Star with an eye  Hand = Whoever wrote the journals considering the symbol on their covers? Llama/Alpaca? Shooting star = Mabel Heart with stitches

Fish with food ended up being Stan's fez. I _think_ Heart with Stitches could be Robbie. Hand is obviously Ford. I'm still not sure about Glasses (they really look like Stan's glasses but... how would that work?) and Star (maaaaybe Gideon? The star appears in the ending cypher in S02E14.) The alpaca/llama and the ice are a complete mystery. Considering everyone of importance is in there already, maybe Wendy is one of those two?

Symbols aside, does this mean that Mabel is going to be missing until who knows when? That's a bit disappointing.

Imagine being able to choose any physical form at all and choosing to keep being a dorito.

Before I paused I was convinced this guy was some weird Nigel Thornberry cameo.

So, Bill has 10 friends, which is exactly the number of symbols in the summoning circle. Huh. Interesting.

Maybe it means nothing but their appearance feels so sudden that I feel they have to be important somehow.

Immersion ruined, the Northwests would never lower themselves and go "downtown"

What a trianglist, she had no problems with Mabel.

I imagine Wendy can't wait to go to college a thousand miles away from her family.

Death, Famine, War, Conquest and Capitalism.

That's horrifying. But he's a dick. What a moral dilemma. Nah, he really deserves it.

Why steal Durland? Huh. Maybe he's also one of the symbols? Or Bill is just being Bill.

Oh, oh, I know what they do!

What an intro, I'm 100% sold.

What can our protagonists do? I guess Ford has a plan, maybe the symbols are for unsummoning Bill and that's why he's collecting them so they can't do whatever ritual they need to do. Maybe Ford and Stan will be in a similar situation that made them fight 30 years ago, but this time they actually communicate and win? Mabel is out so I hope they rescue her (or she rescues herself) before too much plot happens.

I _love_ how much of an effect the changed OP had on me.

After watching 37 episodes with the same opening song any changes are immediately noticeable and it feels _wrong_. What a great way to show how everything is changing for the worse thanks to Bill.

It does make me wonder how Gravity Falls is going to recover though. It looks _bad_, bad enough that in any other show I wouldn't be surprised by a time-machine or a literal genie undoing everything bad that happened. I doubt that'll happen here, since the town itself is so used to the "weird" but if someone dies all bets are off.

YESSSS, Dipper doesn't blame her! I'm sure there'll be some self-blame later on but I'm so glad his first reaction was to be worried.

Why is Soos unaffected? Is it related to his presence in the summoning circle? Looking for unaltered people may be a good way to find who are the missing symbols.

Soos deserved more episodes, what a hero

Has there been any positive romantic relationship in Gravity Falls?

Wendy and Dipper was an unrequited mess, Mabel and all her crushes were all disasters of some kind or another, the less said about Wendy and Robbie the better, and Tambry and Robbie is the result of the twins messing with their minds without their consent. Oh, and Gideon and his murderous crush on Mabel.

I love that tiny shiny dodrio.

I didn't need to know that Bill's hat was meat and bones.

What? No! Warnings later, explanations how to defeat a demon now!

This is the first time he calls Dipper by his symbol, right? He also called Ford "six fingers." The writers really wanted everyone on the same page here about making the relation between the symbols and the characters.

...I refuse to believe that the eye piece meant nothing with how much it has been shown!

Weirdmageddon sounds much better.

Wow. He has been wandering around for three days, probably having to scavenge for food and water. These kids are really going to need a therapist after summer break is over.

For some reason I find that guy more disturbing that most of the weirdness in this episode so far. He just sounds very predator-y.

...oh Dipper, those nachos are three days old at best. So young, so ignorant of the consequences of gastroenteritis.

...of course. I'm glad she's okay. She's been shown as a very badass so it would have been a shame if she was down without a fight.

But, but, rabies.

Can't wait for the weirdmaggeddon to be over and then immediately after everyone dying of infectious diseases.

So, how many post-weirdmageddon dipper/wendy fics did this scene inspire?

Robbie is conspicuously missing from that list

nevermind. Would have been an amazing selfie though, can't fault him for that

Aw. This got me a bit teary-eyed. They really can do anything if they are together.

Shame about Mabel being inside Bill's floating lair completely out of their reach.

What a raw deal, last game I played with twins on it they l– actually, never mind, spoilers. But it was really cool, believe me.

It looks like the mission briefing for a stealth game so, in my case, I'd try to avoid the lights, fail miserably a thousand times and then rage quit. Hopefully Dipper is better at stealth.

Making the world weird?

Wouldn't they know what's going to happen? Since there seems to be only one timeline? Actually, nevermind, I'm too sober to analyze the time travel mechanics of gravity falls.

Time Baby was the most powerful entity in the show so far! Stakes have been raised.

RIP Bodacious T, we never go to know you.

Mad Max: Fury Road, 2015

Two months being a villain and he still hasn't learned to avoid monologuing.

Don't worry, Gideon. It took Steven Universe 6 years to grow a neck, you'll get one someday.

Huh. So Bill manipulated him by using his obsession for Mabel. That's a nice way to explain why it came back after so many episodes without mentioning it too much.

Ugh.

She's a genuine action movie heroine trapped in a cartoon

I have no idea how Wendy manages to get more and more badass this season.

Right!? Right!? Wow.

Holy shit, this really is Fury Road.

that's deep, man

Ah, that explains it. Nothing more dangerous than a philosophy major.

Hatoful Boyfriend, 2014

My mind is exploding right now. I wasn't ready for anime Dipper and Wendy. What are the monkey and kid in the backseat referencing?

Lady Gag– nah, I refuse to use the same joke three times in the same liveblog.

* screams in terror too *

What a shame that we couldn't see the birth of the legend of Soos.

I can't believe Dipper is using the "Power of Understanding" to talk Gideon down.

This is really good. I almost want to joke and say "but it wasn't worth the Wendy/Dipper episodes" but it actually does make them work in retrospect. It's probably the largest source of character growth for Dipper during the show and here's the payoff.

I mean, yes.

WHAT

HOW DARE YOU

GAME IS OVER, AND I WON

NOW IT'S TIME TO START THE FUN

I ALWAYS LOVE CORRUPTING LIVES

NOW LET'S SEE WHICH PINES SURVIVES

well, that's nice.

---

I wasn't sure what to expect from this "Part 1", I thought it was going to be mostly setup. And it had a bit of that, just to show how screwed Gravity Falls (the town) is, but after that it was all action and it was all good.

I think getting Ford out of the way early was a good idea, it removes the possibility of a quick solution. Now Dipper has to figure things on his own. He still needed Wendy to remind him of what he and Mabel are capable of but that's a friend offering help, not "the mentor" giving him the answer to the problem. On the other hand, while Stan hasn't appeared after the goat, he hasn't been captured yet (he's important enough to deserve an on-screen capture, unless it's going to be revealed as a demoralizing surprise?) so I think he'll appear soon since he's just a guy, without any special knowledge about Bill.

Soos really deserves his own show. "The Legend of Soos" Or give Wendy her own show with Soos as the mysterious stranger that appears from time to time to help. Because wow, Wendy is lost in this show, she should be the protagonist of something.

But the star of the show was Dipper talking Gideon down. I _really_ didn't expect that. This is not a show where the protagonists defeat their villains by talking to them (with some exceptions) so I thought they'd defeat him in some other, more violent, way. And the way he uses the "Power of Understanding" to do it (go read Scott Pilgrim)! While Dipper never got to that extreme, he "gets" it and that's just * chef kiss *

I can't wait for the next episode, especially because this one ended in a cliffhanger, so until next time!