#he makes so many friends but never stays
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paimonial-rage · 3 months ago
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“what part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” - aether
requested by @andromeda-nova-writing
“I’m just saying that there are better people than me,” you replied lightly. “It’s not like you need me on your team.”
And truly, you weren’t exaggerating. Aether had many friends, after all, many powerful ones. Some of them excelled in fighting, while others had the ability to heal. Some gave powerful shields, while others could make the team stronger. While you had your own utilities, you knew the truth. You paled in comparison to the rest. There was no point in keeping you around. 
Aether sighed. 
“And I’m saying I want you around anyway. You know, not everything about adventuring is having the best team.”
It was your turn to sigh. This wasn’t a topic you normally brought up. You didn’t want to be a downer on the team, after all. But after Paimon had gone off with Sucrose to check on the modified sunsiettas leaving you behind with Aether, the subject found itself coaxed to your lips. 
Did Aether realize how popular he was, you wondered. It seemed like everybody was vying to have just a moment of his time. Whenever he met up with a friend he hadn’t seen in a while, three out of four times they’d throw a party. And there you were, always awkwardly tagging along. Though nobody was ever jealous of you, you always felt bad. It felt as if you were coveting him all to yourself. 
Though you never asked, words could not describe how much you wished to know why he kept you near. Did he feel bad for you because you didn’t have a great number of friends? Or did he like your combat abilities, meager though they were? At one point, you thought it was due to how well you knew the terrain, but he took you to many different nations since then. 
“I know that,” you mumbled. “It’s just… There are many people that want to spend time with you. You don’t need to ask me to tag along all the time…”
Aether clutched his chest in mock hurt. 
“I didn’t know you hated spending time with me that much!” He exclaimed dramatically. 
You panicked.
“Hey! Don’t put words in my mouth!” You shot back. “I just– Gods, you just don’t get it!”
Turning up your nose, you pouted. Of course he had to joke about it. He didn’t understand your feelings at all. But when you peeked at him, a look of exasperation had taken hold of his face. 
“No, I don’t think you get it,” he began as he crossed his arms over his chest. “What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?”
Your heart stopped as you felt your face heat. 
“Wh-What– I– How can you say that so easily!?” You squeaked as you covered your face. 
He shrugged.
“It’s the truth. I’ll say it as many times as I need to. Accept it.”
You groaned. 
“I refuse.”
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anghraine · 2 months ago
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One of the more peculiar things about my current academic existence is that it's like—
me (to my best friend): It feels kind of strange that I've always had so many ties to people who are much more literary than me. There are all these people I know who keep ending up at "I discovered True Art and now I'm too good for Star Wars" and I'm just thinking, "damn, couldn't be me."
best friend: ...you have a PhD in literature.
me: True, but not their kind of literature!
best friend: It's still a PhD in literature. Do these people have that?
me: Well, hmm, maybe not, technically. But I've never been all that interested in major experiments with form and style—doing that stuff myself or reading the kind of literature that focuses on pushing those boundaries. I've always cared more about popular literature that prioritizes immersion and world building and just getting people to care a lot about characters and plot and such, not the really prestigious stuff.
best friend: You literally teach Shakespeare.
me: Well, I decided not to study the things I love most so they didn't get tainted by academia. And anyway, I still focused on popular literature from my eras. The seventeenth-century stuff I was writing about made a lot of the late Victorians very angry because they thought it was crude and cravenly appealing to unrefined common tastes instead of True Art. The novel in Austen's lifetime was even more of a low-prestige popular form at the time, especially the female-dominated genres, which were most of them, and she took care to identify herself as a woman.
best friend: I know you did get into academia through Tolkien and then didn't study anything close to that.
me: I couldn't let them ruin him for me! And besides, I know that Shakespeare and Austen are about as prestigious as it gets now, but for me they've still got that pop culture media energy, you know? Though sometimes when people make sweeping pronouncements about artistry and literature that don't make sense for anything in English published before 1700, I have to fight the temptation to be ... that person.
best friend, laughing: You mean pulling a well akshually? At least you have the credentials. You could even do it like "well actually, *obnoxious cough* as someone with a PhD in this subject..." now. You spent years earning this! Tell a few people Well Actually as a treat and then go watch Star Wars.
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staygoldpbj · 10 days ago
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pony and johnny duetting on stay gold will always make me wanna throw up
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ghostclefable · 6 months ago
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Post-war Katsuki has taylor's Lover album on repeat and you will not convince me otherwise
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iwasbored777 · 7 months ago
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It's so sad that so many Swifties feel the urge to apologize for being in the fandom like "I'm so sorry but I can't help but love her" like ok???? As if all Swifties are bad. And then have to explain how they're not toxic unlike some other Swifties. There are toxic people in every single fandom and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you're just enjoying something as long as you're not harassing someone who doesn't. I don't think I should apologize to anyone for things I like cuz that's nobody else's business. And if they think that I, after we were friends for years, will bite their heads off because they don't like someone's music then it's their thing, they're free to leave if they don't feel comfortable but I'm not gonna do anything to them.
And those who harass someone else for enjoying something that they don't are equally bad. Let's not pretend that it's normal to be cyber bullied just because you reblog gifs of your favourite pop star.
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noahtally-famous · 6 months ago
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made a 16-slide presentation for gabriel jha, i spent three days back to back on this (and planning out the fic that takes place before, during, and after tdpi that's centric around his and dave's brotherly bond, alenoah, noah and dave's friendship, and alejandro and carlos's brotherly bond)
(the slideshow reads like a character wiki page 💀)
no going back now. while i finalize the slides (idek if i should post it here, it's a full-on oc form for a character only i care abt 😭 but it would be good background info), have some before/after racing accident that had dave auditioning for total drama picrews of gabriel! (so in other words, pre and post tdpi gabriel)
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reporpoisedphantasies · 11 days ago
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#vent tag#alright I don’t know why I’m venting on main but if I keep screaming into the void I’ll only fuel my self destructiveness#this is kinda hard to read so uh warnings ahead#tw sh related#so um. I broke the promise I made to myself at 12#I cut all over my wrists. I’ve been cutting for years but told myself I’d never reach the wrists because that would’ve been my breaking poi#well.#I’ve reached it.#I’ve reached the breaking point#I keep pushing through doing everything that’s asked of me and not complaining z#with a smile. because better times are coming and I am the change I need#yadda yadda#try to stay positive because my life can be so great#but then I stay home.#with the source of all of my negativity.#and refuse to elaborate on it to my loved ones. because i already do it too much#and so many things happen to every single one of my friends all the time. so I have no right to talk#because it’s too much. and it only makes people feel all too bad for comfort#but I’m tired.#so much happens to me all the time too#even if it’s not as apparent as it can be#so I cut. and I keep stewing in my self hatred. and I keep shouldering what my parents tell me.#my father has been making it Very hard for me lately. he’s almost always the reason I cut these days#of course it’s not only him but that’s not the point#I keep hurting myself over and over because I can’t keep it together anymore#but I have to. my parents need me#my friends need me#I need myself to do the things I have to do#….friends now.#I have almost nobody.
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cipher-fresh · 11 months ago
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Girls my exact age who aren’t my friends having a sleepover in MY HOUSE is turning me into the joker a little bit
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Nick: (Pacing around the office, recounting several stories about reckless and stupid things Jasmine has done recently)
Ellie Perkins: (Drinking some coffee, nodding along while thinking that the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree in this case)
Nick: “That’s not even the end of it! I warned that girl about going into the Milton Parking Garage because of the loose whack job who turned the place into a death trap but the more I talked about it the more she seemed to want to go in to catch this guy!”
Ellie Perkins: “Ya don’t say?” (Under her breath to herself) “Sounds pretty familiar….”
Nick: (Holds up a finger) “I turn my back for one second to talk with Preston and the next thing ya know X6 is behind me saying that my kid has just done the one thing I told her not to do and had decide to walk into the deathtrap because she wanted to “investigate” this so called maze!”
Ellie Perkins: (Overly dramatic gasp) “No- really?! Even though it was obviously a trap that had been set up and would most likely lead to her untimely death?!?”
Nick: (Doesn’t catch the biting sarcasm) “Yes! It was a trap laid out clear as day and the kid just moseyed on in there like she owned the place!”
Ellie Perkins: “Mhhhhhmmm!!! Is that so???” (Aggressively sips her coffee)
Nick: (Pinches the bridge of his nose) “I had to kick down the front door and drag Jazzy out by the heels because she wouldn’t come back! And the kid had the audacity to try and wave it off like she didn’t just give us all a heart attack in fear for her life!”
Ellie Perkins: “MHHHHHHMMMNNNN!” (Sips her coffee even more aggressively, almost breaking the handle with her grip)
Nick: (Shakes his head in exasperation) “The kid ain’t invincible and easily mendable no matter how big she talks herself up. One of these days her reckless behavior is gonna catch up to her- and that won’t be a pretty sight!”
Ellie Perkins: (Finally has her big moment after years of built up) “You feel like saying, “You keep laughing in deaths face, one day it’s going to laugh back,” to her to try and knock some sense into her stubborn little head?”
Nick: “YES! Exactly what I-!” (Realizes what she means by referring to that certain phrase and freezes)
Ellie Perkins: (Keeps going to drive in the point) “And it just annoys you to a deeper level whenever she does that confident little smirk juuuuust before she’s about to do something so stupidly reckless-…”
Nick: (Holds up a hand) “Alright, I see your point there, Ellie. I suppose I’m not the one who should be talking here….”
Ellie Perkins: (Grins smugly at him, folding her arms)
Nick: (Heavy sigh) “Yeah, yeah- get it all out of your system why doncha.” (Kicks his feet up on his desk, bracing for impact as he lights a cigarette)
Ellie Perkins: (Slams her hands down on the desk, almost quivering with anticipation) “I’ve been waiting a long damn time for this day to come, Valentine….”
(R.I.P Nicholas Valentine. He’s never hearing the end of this one from Ellie and he’s in for a long lecture)
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tamagotchikgs · 6 months ago
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honestly i wish i could meet up w online friends but i am so filled w terror that my anxiety would make me so offputting and hateable instantly n then i wouldnt have any friends left HBJJBA,,,,, like,,, i cannot express just how bad my anxiety is between my avpd and never learning how 2 mask my autism i am probably the most naturally unlikeable person in existence n then id have to live w that maybe if i had just figured out how to fix myself first and make myself perfect n palatable then i wouldnt hav fucked it up like every other interaction irl
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#i have literally never made a friend irl#and i am being genuine#i am a certified loser#the only friends i ever had were from a young age just . playdated and then we stayed in contact but never really were actual friends#everyone else is just like. why doesnt IT talk.......... or ur so funny..(freak)#like i dont do anything BAD but i . dont know how to hold a lot of conversations#or i say things too bluntly (not mean but just unexpected i guess?)#and it makes people laugh but. at me#not . like in a fun way#i always stuck to the fact i could b funny at least but then i never actually made friends because none of them actually liked me they just#liked how weird n awkward i was & how fun it was to make fun of me w their actual friends#they included me in some things but it was always just 2 watch my reaction#i spent so many years in relationships like that#i always ended up in one no matter where i went#i always just told myself if i just wait eventually someone will come along who i can actually get along w#but then whenever there was someone theyd just. leave eventually#because the only place i had 2 meet people was church like. programs?#youth group n etc#and more recently i think everyone just kinda accepts im the quiet one#so they dont talk to me#n i dont know how to start conversations so i dont talk 2 them#honestly thats why i appreciated that one guy from the youth connections program#he still always talked 2 me and included me but not in a forceful way#he took no as an answer#n he was cool#he was such an open n funky guy i wish i couldve talked to him more#because even tho he did make an effort i was still so awkward n scared i didnt talk much#he was super into helping animals n stuff n everyone made fun of him for that n i felt bad because i think thats the coolest shit#but i never got a chance 2 say it because how shutdown w anxiety i get
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pitske · 6 months ago
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@tectco and pitske sitting on a blog: holyshitohmyfuckinggod
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lady-shadow-and-darkness · 7 months ago
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Whenever I see people saying that Dazai's an asshole and doesn't care about anyone I laugh. Guess he did a good job of fooling you buddy.
#I mean it was an account which presumably liked Akutagawa#So I can TOTALLY see why this happened. I get it. Your fav was abused by this character and he's in general an asshole to a lot of people.#But also he isn't a complete monster and that's crucial to understanding his character.#I used to hate Mori and that made me make him ooc SO many times.#And I know it's not exactly the same but for your own sake : if you're biased towards a character please stop telling people they're wrong#about said character. Because your bias is probably preventing you from seeing Dazai in a caring light and that SHOWS.#“Dazai left chuuya behind in the woods” dude. Chuuya was his enemy. They were in war. He needed to take Q back.#Did people seriously think Dazai would be able to carry both a grown man and a kid on his back all the way to an extraction point?#And he literally took Chuuya back in stormbringer after the first time chuuya used corruption.#and he waited until chuuya woke up before leaving in dead apple and stayed beside him so that chuuya wouldn't be affected by the fog.#I think people overestimate Dazai's abilities sometimes. where tf was he supposed to take chuuya in dead apple?#there was still a battle going on.#There's nothing I hate more than dazai haters trying to make him look bad in every situation.#“oh he spent Kunikidas money that's asshole behav-” THEY'RE FRIENDS ASSHOLE!!!#If Kunikida wanted he could've kicked Dazai's ass to the sun and told him to never touch his wallet again.#he didn't. BECAUSE THEY'RE FRIENDSSSS (maybe something else too to the kndz shippers)#like shut up and leave ♡#also “this os MY post on MY blog” how do you feel about me uno reversing you sweetie <3#bungou stray dogs
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super-psycho-lov3 · 9 months ago
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it doesnt even matter it doesnt even matter it doesnt ever matter it doesnt even
#im just really tired i guess#i have too many bruises and i cant keep eating a meal a day#its just really tiring getting lied to#people think they care but they really.. just dont?#say you care but im making dinner because you have work and oliver needs it more. as if i havent been making dinner all week.#as if i didnt spend the past two days walking 2-5 miles every day.#'youve been so snappy' as if i didnt clean the whole living room. as if it isnt my fucking bed time. as if you care about my problems.#'olivers here if you need anything' yeah. sure. as if he wont groan and huff at best.#'im sorry i have to go to work' as if youd do anything different#'im not as bad as people make me out to be' 'youre being brainwashed' as if i didnt have to spend all day at my friends house#the day i was persrcibed testosterone because i knew what youd do if i stayed at home#as if you didnt threaten to take it away when i didnt listen to you#just... im jusy so tired. once my mom asked me 'whose birthday did i forget this year?' referring to my siblings.#she was buying gifts. we never celebrated my birthday. didnt have the heart to tell her it was ME. im justs o tired. im so tired#it really sucks to know that — that our sect of the sys is back out because#because we feel. so. Lost. worthless and lost a and alone#doesn't feel like our family is anything at all. and im here because#because of that. i hate that. i hate knowing why i hate it#i hate knowing who and what caused this im so tired i want my brothers i want my sister i want to get out of here for a while i just need to#get out#its so stupid im the oldest sibling but i want my siblings so bad they would never let me down#fucking NEVER! never. not in a way that could ever really matter. just. god#vent post#free to respond#???#i dont fuckin care if you reblog or reply or whatever. im just so tired i just need to yell you guys can say whatever#i got yelled at for reminding them to schedule my fucking root canal anf i just cant take it . so#im. im so hungry okay? im just so hungry#im hungry and tired and sore and so fucking alone and i cant fucking take it#cant eat right now n even if i could i wouldnt have the food so
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brothersgrim · 1 year ago
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Help im sad about the undertaker
#&& reburied; ooc#HE HELPS EVERYBODY BUT NOBODY HELPS HIM#every piece of happiness he tries for gets ripped away from him in increasingly violent ways until he stops trying#in the end the only person he loves is kane. the only thing that makes him happy is kane. and even that is agony after agony#but love is always pain for him#nobody ever stays#his brother is just the only one he can never be without and so he will hurt and hurt and hurt#kane will kill him kane will put him into a coma kane will break his bones and throw him out in the cold kane will set him on fire#kane will bury him alive#and taker will always come back to kane because he believes he deserves it#and because kane is his little brother#his best friend#his only friend#his only family#the only thing that makes his forced existence bearable is when just sitting with the little brother he grieved to the point of apotheosis#but everyone else hurts him and hurts him and hurts him and its just excess pain#he learned through his time as a slave that being alone is safer#and maybe there were some people that almost convinced him otherwise but the other shoe always drops#there are so many knife wounds in his back that a trail of red follows him wherever he goes#he will hurt and hurt and hurt and he can only take so much#he is death he is the reaper he is the pale rider he is the end the omega the devil himself#but he never asked to be#and he was human once#so he will hurt and hurt and hurt for kane alone#nobody else is worth the suffering#and so he is alone#alone#alone.#its safer that way
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lostandbackagain · 1 year ago
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dustfinger: I love all of my children equally, brianna, farid, and [looks at smudged writing on hands] john
#tcor spoilers#HATE that there was no actual resolution this#i understand fully that it can be difficult when your partner's child (who is not also yours) looks like their other parent#feelings are hard to change! sure!#but: roxane is friends with her husband's affair partner. atp he has no right to show any hurt over her remarrying#and that includes taking it out on jehan#he doesnt say himself that theres any resentment (which is odd bc he loves telling us all his shitty thiughts usually; too stressed out#for self reflection right this second?)#but nyame talks about how obvious and infuriating it is#not to say jehan's making it up (i would never never never doubt my babiest boy) but it's bad enough that people outside the family see it#('outside the family' it's his uncle but outside the home ig)#where was i going with this#having a was-hoping-id-find-the-end-of-this-thought-when-i-came-to-it moment#oh right the lack of self reflection made me wonder if dustfinger knew he was acting like this at all#and i was PRAYING for nyame to chew him out over it#there were so many good spots for that conversation too#when df was practically dead for the third time and jehan stayed with him to make sure he didnt actually die#i expected 'i dreamed about you burning alive every night for ten years' levels of dustfinger being yelled at from jehan#and we literally?? didnt get a single chapter from either of their povs at that time?? what the actual fuck man#okay not to be like 'i could write this better' but a way more satisfying conclusion to everything that started#with nyame saying the two of them are so similar#would have been [jehan rightly makes dustfinger feel bad about continuing to be a terrible father] -> [jehan storms off to orpheus' to#'offer' dustfinger in exchange for the book but the adults dont know where he went] -> [nyame comes back and also yells at df#for letting his kid run off and drive home that he really is failing jehan and points out to him their similarities] ->#[df goes oh shit i also tried trading innocent people for a book] ->#[whatever. resolution]#do u see what i mean#his ~apology~ to meggie in book 2 is so good while being in character#and he cant apologize to his stepson? he barely fking knew meggie lmao#says kenna
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forestofmemories · 2 years ago
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something something the lessons they’ve learned up until now thanks to everything they’ve experienced, the special connection with nature (with the tapus, with alola itself), and the bond they (people and pokemon) all share bc they’re always working together and helping one another shaped satoshi in a way no other *region* did
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