#he lets himself want to learn more about his past and he loses both the sheep and later the flags

[azapofinspiration]

Chuuya who doesn’t let himself want things because he has to put everyone and everything else first, who feels like his own wants shouldn’t matter because he has power so he needs to be responsible and prioritize those weaker than him.

Dazai who doesn’t let himself want anything because the moment he gains it he will lose it, who can’t handle opening himself up to that kind of pain and vulnerability because he’s been taught that that is a weakness.

Both Dazai and Chuuya whose experiences tell them that the moment they want, everything begins to go wrong and they’ll lose the things they care about.

[babycharmander]

(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)

I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.

I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).

So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:

"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"

I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:

"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"

It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.

Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...

"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."

He sees himself as a monster.

And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.

"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"

Which... speaking of him and Ford...

Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.

Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)

Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.

And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.

And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.

After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.

He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.

And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.

"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"

I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?

In short,

[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]

[atimesfeeler]

A lot of people, I think, were surprised at how angry and mean Logan was in Deadpool and Wolverine. I think we see him being like this in Logan 2017 but in the rest of his movies he’s much more tame.

Of course. He’s finding family, he’s finding love, a place that accepts him for who he is. He has a purpose, a people. Of course he’s rough around the edges, but he’s softening and learning to open up and let himself care for other people. He still has his rage, his stubbornness, his don’t care attitude, but the force of the X-Men and Charles wearing down his defenses sorta mellows him out. And then when he leaves the X-Men Mariko and Yukio bring out his heroism and loyalty again.

In Logan, he’s the angriest and meanest because his lost literally everyone. (I’m not 100% sure but I think it was set after DOFP so it was right after he got everyone back that he lost them again. He’s lived through losing them all TWICE, once to the apocalypse and then second to one of his best friends because of a seizure) and in the brief time that Laura interacts with him, she is able to bring out some of his better qualities, but… like she says, Logan is dying and he wants to die. He’s mean and he’s trying his best, but he’s relieved when he doesn’t have to try anymore.

In the Deadpool and Wolverine, Worst Wolverine is most like Logan 2017, not the past version people got used to. And he doesn’t have Charles or Laura. He’s all alone for so long. This Wolverine lost everyone and he blames himself. He doesn’t know Wade and he doesn’t give a fuck about him. He lost his humanity back at the mansion when everyone he let himself care about was slaughtered. Not only does he not care, he’s probably so guarded that he won’t let himself care about anyone after what happened to the x-men. Not to mention that everyone hates him, no one gives him a chance, he’s hated by both his own kind and humans. He wouldn’t be able to find work completely vilified. He wouldn’t be able to stay sober and he probably spent what money he did have on drinking because the weight of everything was too much. He probably has to move constantly to find bars that will serve him or to avoid people trying to capture him.

So he’s kidnapped, told he’s the worst version of himself in the entire multiverse, and he’s sober for the first time in a decade. Withdraw and Wade Wilson does actually sound like a nightmare, and in the void of all places.

At first I was surprised at the amount of aggression and violence he displayed, but then I got it at this scene:

And then I was surprised at how mellowed out Logan was at the end of it

But then it made sense. Wade and his little adventure basically fast tracked rehab, therapy, and recovery and then gave him a new chance, a home, and a friend who is so loyal that he’d tear apart the universes for his people.

This is why Logan being less angry and violent after the void is so important to me. Like, he’s still grumpy and mean and traumatized, and obviously Wade didn’t fix everything, but he helped so much. Logan definitely cares about Wade and wouldn’t just see him as the most annoying person he’s ever met anymore. Not after what he did for him.

It’s a delicate balance between not erasing Logan’s inherent and learned rage and anger, but also not whittling him down to only angry violent and mean around Wade.

[ellecdc]

A Man With a Plan.8

prologue // p1 // p2 // p3 // p4 // p5 // p6 // p7 // p8

Remus Lupin x whimsical!reader - Hogwarts Era (no Voldemort) - Soulmate AU

CW: Remus losing his ever loving mind, temporary(?) truce w/ Slytherins, truth is revealed, Peter is very nervous when the discussion turns to plotting murder [3.2k words]

✧A/N - please read ✧ this fic is still and will remain on hiatus until it's completion. I will not respond to asks about when the next update will be (feel free to gush and discuss, just please don't ask for updates). this fic, for whatever reason, is a sore spot for me & if I didn't have people who loved it so much, I'd have trashed it by now, so please take this into consideration. secondly, the taglist is closed and I will no longer be tagging anyone on future updates - kudos to all of the creators who take the time to offer tag lists because it is not easy and I will never be doing it for another fic again lol

Remus had been trying (and failing) to pay attention to the lesson, but apparently watching the odd bird fly past the window was far more entertaining than listening to Professor Binns’ sluggish lesson about the Goblin rebellions.

Yesterday’s conversation with you was still replaying at the forefront of his mind; most of Remus’ thoughts were already about you, mind you, but this had become an incessant point of worry for him. He found that he was particularly bothered by how bothered you appeared to be.

Remus was the first to admit his friends weren’t always the…easiest to be around. They were loud, abrasive, brash, somewhat aggressive, and always up to something.

He should have been more patient with you and your friends; as much as Moony called you his; you were your own first. 

You always had to come first.

Moony huffed in response to that but seemed to relent when Remus insisted the utmost importance was your happiness and safety.

Even the werewolf couldn’t argue with that.

He could tell you were still bothered today; he could feel it, in the rise of your heart rate intermittently throughout the morning, or the white hot heat that would settle in his (your) chest before evening out just as quickly. He had learned by now that you were quite attuned with your own feelings, and seemed to control them very well. Remus found himself quite jealous of that trait. It was clear how deeply you were attuned to emotions, both yours and others, and the way that tended to influence your behaviours.

You seemed to be content right now, and Remus found himself wondering where on the castle grounds you might be right now.

Gods, he was such a freak.

Want. Mine? Where mine?  

He fought the urge to groan at Moony as he returned his gaze to the front of the class.

It appeared that Remus wasn't the only one with a lack of interest in Binns’ wearisome lesson as most of his classmates were beyond even pretending to pay attention; a few even drooling on their textbooks and letting out the odd snore.

It didn’t appear to bother Binns much who continued drilling on about the role goblin metal played in the rebellions.

Remus wondered if the professor had ever put himself to sleep during one of his lectures. He let out a small snort at that.

Before he could be concerned about whether anyone heard him or not, Remus felt an abrupt tension wash through him. No, not him. You. 

You were beyond tense, a tight kind of worry worming its way through your core. 

Not good. Not good. Not good. 

Though Remus didn’t find himself in a position to argue with Moony, he didn’t find the commentary particularly helpful. But for the first time since the soulbond came into effect, Moony quieted completely - almost as if he was allowing Remus to fully lock in on you. 

Shock - horror? You’d been startled… a painful surprise. Why couldn’t Remus think of the bloody word for the way you were feeling?

It quickly moved to heartbreak; it was as if Remus could feel himself sinking to the ground along with your heart.

Where the hell were you right now?

The heavy, sinking pain settled in Remus’ stomach whilst the sounds of Professor Binns and the surrounding student’s snores fell away into a quiet hum; Remus simply ceased to exist in the physical world as his consciousness went looking for you. 

Disappointment and guilt is what you seemed to settle on; a decisive determination forming in your mind. 

Then your heart spiked.

Worry?

Pain? 

Panic???

Remus had little time to acknowledge his realisation before an ice cold terror overtook you.

He could feel the violent rattle of your heart in your chest as your lungs started to burn; it was as if he could hear you screaming. 

And Moony went feral. 

NOW. NOW. NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW NOW. 

Remus hardly even realised that he had shot up until the chair fell to the ground with a loud thunk, likely startling the many napping students out of their slumber but he found that he just didn’t care about the disturbance he made as he took off in a full sprint out of the History classroom. 

He took the stairs two at a time in what felt like an arbitrary direction; he couldn’t tell you even if he tried where his feet were taking him, all his mind was concerned with was getting to you.

Remus had no idea where you were, but he'd find you.

If he didn’t know something was terribly wrong before, he certainly knew it now when your panic turned into a frantic desperation; cold, so cold was the terror that seeped down into your very soul. He was certain your magic was calling out to him, even as your core began to weaken. 

I’m coming, dove. I’m coming. Remus chanted as Moony howled in agreement. 

Remus’ own lungs burned nearly as badly as his legs did but he didn’t slow down, even when he shoved past a group of first years as he tore through the courtyard. He’d be sorry later; right now he had somewhere to get to, someone to get to.

Remus was just beginning to regret not taking up James’ offers to go for runs with him in the mornings when he felt a sharp relieved feeling - it was not relief, but a relieved moment - before shock and horror took over.

Your heart rate was a riot and you were distressed but Remus was sure he could feel you breathing and it was enough, it had to be enough until he got to you. 

He had to get to you. 

“Remus!” James shouted in a manner that told Remus it hadn’t been the first time he did so. 

Remus simply turned to look at him over his shoulder without slowing down.

“Mate! What the hell?!”

“Something is wrong.” Remus shouted.

“Yeah, you’ve bloody lost the plot it seems - I’d say that’s very wrong!” James replied breathlessly. 

Remus was going to tell him to sod off when relief came in the sight of you, though the relief was tentative when he noticed you soaking and hunched in on yourself in the sand. 

“Y/N!” He shouted then; you didn’t react, which only resulted in him panicking more.

“Y/N!” He shouted again as he made it to you; sinking to his knees in the wet sand as his chest burned. “Dovey, hey. Hey, look at me. Are you okay? Baby please, look at me.”

He finally brought a hand to your chin and tilted your head up to him; your skin was horridly cold and eyes were wild as your own chest heaved like you, too, had just run all this way.

“What happened, dove? Are- are you okay? What happened?” He was practically begging at this point but he couldn’t bring himself to care, even as James made his way over to stand behind you. 

“What’s going on?” James asked quietly; Remus could only shake his head at him.

“You’re soaked. Did you fall in?” He tried asking you; you simply looked towards the water in response. 

James quickly shed his jumper and handed it to Remus who wrapped it around you before he shed his own cardigan to wrap that around you as well. 

“Please baby, talk to me?” Remus begged. Your lip trembled and you pointed your gaze to your lap. 

He felt completely helpless; he had this deep desire - no, need - to help you, to protect you. He wanted to know what happened so he could fix this; he wanted to fix this.

But this wasn’t about what Remus wanted, it was about what you needed… what you deserved. 

“Prongs?” Remus said quietly as he simply settled into the wet sand beside you, pulling you into his lap and cocooning you with his body to provide you with some of his warmth. “Can you go get Junior? Please?”

James quickly looked between the two of you before nodding and running back towards the castle. 

·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·。·

Remus had been unable to encourage any more from you than a few shuddering breaths and a squeeze of your hand that he was holding hostage in his.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to let you go again.

Unfortunately, this appeared to be one more of his many plans destined for failure.

“Treasure!?” Barty called as he and James ran over. “Hey! Tres, you okay?” He breathed as he knelt in front of you and Remus, much like Remus had when he found you mere moments ago. 

“Talk to me.” Barty whispered as he pushed your damp hair away from your face.

You let out a short breath that had you deflating significantly, as if you’d been sitting with every string in your body pulled taut until Barty had shown up. 

It hurt, for a moment, knowing you weren’t Remus’ person - or rather, that he wasn’t yours - but he bit back the emotion flooding in his mouth because it still wasn’t about what Remus wanted, it was about what you needed.

And right now, you needed Barty.

Your chin dimpled as your bottom lip began to wobble and Remus watched as your eyes filled with tears. 

“What happened?” Barty begged through a whisper, and that seemed to be the last of your resolve.

Remus was forced to relinquish his hold on you as you dissolved into tears and fell bodily into Barty’s embrace; he seemed to be expecting it though and caught you readily in a way Remus wondered if he’d ever be capable of.

Unable to explain your hurt to Barty, you simply sobbed and clung to him as he looked at Remus in horrified bemusement.

Remus could only shrug his shoulders and shake his head remorsefully. 

“Okay, you’re alright Treasure. We’ll figure this out, yeah? We’ve always figured it out; you and me, okay?” 

Remus immediately felt like he was encroaching on something entirely too private and stood; bitterness, grief, and worry twisting up an emotional cocktail that he knew would taste horrid on the way down.

“Lupin.” Barty called out, forcing Remus to pause as he made his way towards James. “Thank you, for fetching me.”

Remus simply nodded before turning back for the castle. 

“I’ll-” Barty called again before pausing, waiting for Remus to turn around once more. “I’ll let you know how we make out.”

Remus nodded and let out a breath. “Thank you.”

The two boys shared a knowing look before Remus turned, joining James as they headed back towards the castle - no doubt facing a detention or two for causing a scene and abandoning class - in silence. 

Remus learnt little else about what happened at the lake until dinner when Regulus approached them with the small amount of information Barty had managed to get from you.

“She said she fell in?” James asked quizzically then.

Regulus tilted his head side to side in a so-so. “It was less that she said it and more that she agreed with Barty that that’s what happened. Why?”

James shook his head as if jostling around the thoughts in his brain would make it make more sense. “She’s been going to that dock for months to feed the mermaids, I-”

“She wasn’t feeding them.” Remus interjected quickly. “She was bringing them gifts.”

Remus looked up from his novel to see his friends and Regulus staring at him incredulously.

“Right…” James continued after a beat. “So, she’s been going to that dock for months to bring gifts to the mermaids, and she’s never once had an issue. Why now?” 

Regulus heaved a sigh as he shrugged his shoulders defeatedly. “We’ve not been able to get much more out of her; she just keeps saying she needs to ‘fix things’.”

“What things?” James asked then, causing the younger Black brother to sneer at him. 

“I just said we haven’t been able to get more out of her, Potter. Merlin; tu t’entoures d’idiots, frère.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Sirius moaned in exasperation. “Thank you, Reg.”

“Thank you.” Remus seconded, earning him a nod of understanding from the younger Black.

Remus returned to his novel, though he found himself unable to make sense of any of the words. James was right; something just didn’t make sense.

Just yesterday you had laughed at Remus for his concern for you on the dock 

… Remus quickly stood and gently helped you stand and pulled you closer to the middle of the dock, away from the edge you’d been inhabiting.

You giggled at him; the first real spontaneous emotion he thinks he had ever heard from you, and it caused Remus’ heart rate to speed up double time.

“You needn’t worry, Remus.” You expressed solemnly. “I’m very careful.”  …

And James seemed to know that to be true as well.

What weren’t you telling them? And what did you need to fix?

It wasn’t until later that evening that Remus came to realise what it was that you weren’t telling them. 

“Remus! Is she okay!?” He heard Amelia call breathlessly as she approached him in the library.

Remus was momentarily confused; he hadn’t spoken to Amelia in what felt like weeks, and he couldn’t imagine who she was possibly referring to.

“Pardon?” He asked dumbly.

“Y/N.” Amelia answered quickly; a deep divot present between her brows. “I just heard what happened; I swear I had no idea what they were doing, Rem. I would have never allowed it!”

Remus quickly slammed his History tome closed and stood over her menacingly. 

“Allowed what?” He sneered at her. “Who are ‘they’ and what exactly did ‘they’ do to her?”

Amelia seemed to baulk at the sudden severity of Remus, but she soldiered on. “I.. it was Silas, Shirley, and Coraline. They- I guess they figured, well-”

“Spit it out, Amelia.” Remus hissed at her.

“They think they were like, defending me, or something… by picking on her. I guess they tried to tell her to back off from you, and Silas said he shoved her in the Lake.”

Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Kill.

And while Remus knew, generally speaking, that he couldn’t kill a bunch of Hufflepuffs, he didn’t exactly disagree with the enraged and murderous Wolf howling inside of him.

“Is she okay?” Amelia asked again, quieter this time.

Remus felt bad when he noticed her cowering slightly beneath him; he felt bad about all of it.

Leading her on, playing with her feelings when he knew she liked him as more than a friend, and for ever getting you tangled up in this mess of his. 

He planned to never let it happen again.

“I’m not sure, Amelia.” He admitted then, realising somewhat belatedly that he had been simply waiting on you to come to him instead of actively working to help you fix this. “But she will be; I’ll make sure of it.”

Amelia offered him a sad smile at that. “Okay…thank you, Remus.”

“I’m sorry, Amelia.” He blurted then, watching as her sad smile turned soft.

“Thank you, Remus. Tell Y/N I’m sorry, too, okay?” 

And Remus watched Amelia walk away as he formulated a plan. 

James was easy to find, seeing as he was currently hanging on to every word coming out of Lily Evan’s mouth as she practised her presentation for the upcoming Herbology assignment.

“Hey, Rem.” Lily greeted with a smile as she shuffled through her cue cards, causing James to turn comically in his place on the couch where he’d been sitting with his elbows on his knees and his chin on fists.

“‘Lo Moons!” 

“Prongs, I’m sorry, but are you terribly busy right now?” Remus immediately felt bad for asking when James grimaced and turned to look at Lily. “It’s Y/N.” He clarified.

James immediately turned back towards him. “Is she okay?” 

Remus shrugged his shoulders. “But I know what happened.”

James’ face turned solemn as he turned to give Lily an apologetic smile.

She quickly smiled tenderly at him and waved him off. “Go, Potter. Make sure she’s okay for me, yeah?” 

James beamed at her before jumping up and planting a smacking kiss on the red-head’s cheek. “You were doing brilliantly, Lils! I’ll help you practise more later!”

“That seemed cosy.” Remus murmured as they stepped into the hallway and shut the door behind them. 

“It certainly felt cosy.” James agreed readily.

With the map that James had on his person, finding Sirius was an easy feat - what was not an easy feat was opening the broom closet door to find him and a Ravenclaw in various states of undress with their tongues down each other’s throats.

“Sorry, sweets.” Sirius winked at the other student as he pulled up his fly. “Duty calls.”

They found Pete in Chess Club and pulled him away from the game he was currently “winning, you absolute sods!” by the collar of his uniform shirt. 

And with the full moon a little bit more than 24 hours away, even Moony couldn’t deny the advantage they’d have with a little more help…

“It says he’s in the library.” Peter explained as he trailed behind the group with the map.

“Where’s my- where’s Y/N?” Remus quickly corrected himself.

Peter hummed as he searched the map whilst Sirius and James shared a knowing look behind Remus’ back. “Says she’s in Ravenclaw.”

Good, that was good.

You were fine. Safe.

And Remus knew that just had to be true, because Barty wouldn’t have agreed to leave your side otherwise. 

Back where Remus had begun this search, they did indeed find Barty hunched over a large looking tome at a table as Regulus, Dorcas, and Evan conversed quietly beside him. 

“Unless you’re here to learn the art of the Mermish language, bugger off.” Barty muttered without raising his head as Evan and Dorcas eyed the Marauders warily. 

“Relax, Meadows.” Sirius taunted. “We’re not here to prank you lot.”

“Forgive me if I don’t particularly believe you.” She muttered in response, narrowing her eyes at the boy. 

“To what do we owe this displeasure?” Evan drawled as he twirled his want in his hand.

“Play nice, Rosier.” Regulus muttered; obviously not particularly grateful for the Gryffindors’ company but clearly understanding there was  a reason for it.

“What, did you just say you were learning Mermish?” James asked Barty then; never one to manage to stay on task. 

Barty did look up at that only to look at James in bemusement. “Yes?”

“Why?” James continued, causing Barty to scoff.

“To thank them for saving Treasure, obviously. Do keep up, Potter.”

A disbelieving breath escaped Remus’ lips as he scrutinised your oldest friend. “That’s…actually really nice of you, Junior.” He admitted quietly, causing Barty’s bemused gaze to flit to him.

“Well yeah…I’m a real sweetie pie.” Barty muttered as if that had been really quite obvious and didn’t know why they were all talking about it, suddenly. 

“Listen, I found out what happened to Y/N.” Remus announced then; every Slytherin quickly standing at attention for Remus to explain. 

“They shoved her in?” Regulus confirmed slowly, earning him a nod in agreement from Remus.

“Well boys,” Barty started as he stood with a flourish, pausing at Dorcas’ pointed ‘ahem’ to amend “and Meadows, fuck’s sake”, “looks like we’ve got some Hufflepuff’s to kill!” He cheered gleefully, moving towards the library doors as if expecting everyone to follow him.

“We’re…we’re not going to actually kill them, right guys?” Peter asked nervously as the Slytherin’s rose from their respective seats, and the Gryffindor’s trailed after them.

“Right!?”

Tag list [NOW CLOSED] part 1:

@hanniejji , @y0urm0m12 , @c0nsc10usworld , @aphrcdites , @starsval , @anuncalledbridge , @klazina-couch-potato , @cancelledkaley , @ttulipwritezz , @boo8008 , @imobsessedwitholiviarodrigo , @frostooo , @myriadmoons , @aremuslupinsimp , @simars3 , @stargurl99 , @dreamingofts18 , @agent-tempest , @xxrougefangxx , @serenadingtigers , @adhxmoony , @hufflepufffangirlqueen , @thebiggestnaturaldisaster , @urmomw4ntsme , @b4tm4nn , @jamieolivia27 , @stqrgirlies-blog , @loving-and-dreaming , @cultish-corner , @all-in-the-fandoms , @sadslasher13 , @enamoredwithbella

[moomuzan]

— 𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖎𝖊𝖘

you two had a fight… :( , chuuya , akutagawa , dazai , kunikida x gn! reader , angst with happy end , req.

The fight began in silence. It was always that way with AKUTAGAWA—his sharpness spoken not with words but in the jagged edges of his movements. You had been arguing for what felt like hours, though in truth it had been minutes, the air thick with unspoken things. He stood near the window, his back to you, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he tried to contain himself.

“You never listen,” you muttered, your voice trembling as you forced the words past the lump in your throat.

At that, Akutagawa’s head snapped toward you, his eyes like shards of glass. “And you never understand,” he bit out, voice low and dangerous, yet quivering with something beneath the anger. He didn’t raise his voice—he never had to. The quiet violence in him was enough.

Though the weight of his words dug in deep, you didn’t flinch. Instead, you turned away, shoulders slumping. “Maybe I don’t,” you murmured. “But it doesn’t feel like you want me to.”

Those words hung heavy in the air, more final than either of you realized. Akutagawa’s breath caught—briefly, sharply—but he said nothing. He couldn’t. He watched as you walked past him, your form fading down the hallway, your steps too slow, too heavy, and the sound of the door closing behind you hit him like a gunshot.

Then there was silence.

Your voice echoed in his mind, repeating itself like a haunting refrain. He thought of the way you looked at him—tired, unsure, something fragile about you that he hadn’t noticed until it was too late. His hands, once trembling with frustration, fell limp at his sides as the truth settled into him like a blade.

All this time he had been pushing you away. For weeks. Months, maybe. And now, the distance he had been creating out of habit—the wall he had built to keep himself safe—threatened to swallow you both whole.

When Akutagawa finally moved, it was sudden. He grabbed his coat and left without thinking, his steps quick and uneven as he navigated the streets. He didn’t know where you had gone, but that didn’t matter. His mind screamed at him that he had to find you—not to fix everything, because he didn’t know how, but to try.

He found you hours later, sitting on a bench in a quiet park, your head bowed and hands folded tightly in your lap as though you were holding yourself together. Akutagawa paused, watching you from a distance, unsure how to approach. He wasn’t good at this. He wasn’t good at people, at love, at softness. But you… you were his, even if he didn’t know how to show it.

Slowly, he stepped forward, the gravel crunching under his boots. You glanced up at the sound, and your expression—tired, tear-streaked—knocked the wind from his lungs.

As he sat down beside you he didn’t speak. There were no words in him that could fit, no perfect apology, so he let the silence settle between you instead. It was the same silence you had both been drowning in for so long, but this time, it felt different.

Akutagawa reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his handkerchief—neatly folded and immaculate. Without a word, he handed it to you. You stared at it for a moment, confused, before you took it with trembling fingers, pressing the fabric to your face to wipe the tears you hadn’t realized were still falling.

Similar to a man trying to learn something foreign and unfamiliar, he stayed still, hands on his knees, his posture stiff and uncomfortable but resolute. You noticed the faintest tremor in his breathing—too shallow, too quick.

“I…” He swallowed hard, his voice quieter than you’d ever heard it. “I don’t want you to go.”

Clipped words, barely there, landed with the weight of a confession. You turned toward him, searching his face, and saw the unspoken things in his expression—the desperation, the regret, the quiet fear of losing you.

“You’re always pushing me away,” you whispered. “I thought maybe you wanted me to leave.”

Akutagawa’s jaw tightened, his fists curling against his knees. “I don’t.”

“Then why—”

“Because I don’t know how,” he snapped, his voice cracking just slightly before falling into a harsh whisper. “I don’t know how to keep you close. I don’t know how to be… what you need.”

Ultimately, the honesty in his words shocked you. Akutagawa, who had always hidden himself behind barbed wires of anger and distance, looked broken now—cracks forming in the mask he had worn for so long.

The mafia executive turned to look at you, for the first time in a long time, there was no anger in his gaze, only vulnerability. “But I’ll learn,” he said, his voice so soft you barely heard it. “If you let me.”

Letting out a shaky breath, your chest tight with the weight of his words, you believed him—not because his words were perfect, but because they weren’t. They were raw and uneven and full of the effort he didn’t know how to put into love but was trying to find anyway.

Tentatively, you reached for his hand, your fingers brushing his knuckles before settling into the spaces between them. He stiffened slightly at the touch, as though it startled him, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he let your hand rest in his, holding it as though he was afraid of squeezing too hard, of breaking something precious. In the quiet weight of his touch, you felt his intent—steady, unsure, but determined.

,

The fight was inevitable. A slow-burning thing that began weeks ago, ignited by small moments—the unanswered questions, the quiet neglect, the way he seemed farther away even when he stood right beside you. KUNIKIDA was always consumed by purpose, always looking ahead to the next task, the next step, the next ideal, but you were slipping through the cracks of his perfection.

Like a chasm neither of you knew how to cross, you stood in the middle of the living room, the space between you vast.

“You’re never here, Kunikida,” you said softly, your voice strained, though you fought to keep it steady. “You’re with your notebook, with your plans, with your work—but you’re not with me.”

Kunikida, standing stiffly by the desk, lifted his gaze toward you, his brows furrowed in irritation—or maybe confusion. “Do you think I’m not trying?” he said, his voice calm but cold, too sharp. “Everything I do, everything I plan, is for the future. For us.”

You flinched—not at the volume but at the way he sounded like he’d already lost you.

“I don’t want plans,” you whispered, your hands clenching at your sides. “I want you.”

Those words cut deeper than you realized. Kunikida stood there, silent, his expression unreadable, though you could see the faintest tension in his shoulders. You waited for him to say something, to move, to do anything. But he stayed where he was, his silence stretching like a weight across the room.

So you turned away. You grabbed your coat, and for the first time in a long time, you didn’t say goodbye.

Feeling heavier without you in it, the apartment seemingly collapsed. Kunikida remained frozen where he stood, his gaze fixed on the space you had occupied moments before. It wasn’t until the sound of the ticking clock broke through the silence that he moved, sinking down to the edge of the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands.

“I want you.”

As the words replayed in his mind, like a record skipping back to the same refrain, he could see it now—the weariness in your eyes, the way you had been pulling away, not because you wanted to, but because he had left you no choice.

By the time you returned, the apartment was dark except for the soft glow of a lamp. You stepped in cautiously, expecting more silence, but what you found made you pause. Kunikida was sitting at the dining table, his glasses pushed to the bridge of his nose, papers scattered in front of him.

But these weren’t work documents. They were lists—half-scribbled, messy things that you’d never seen from him before. You squinted, your eyes catching glimpses of his handwriting.

“Dinner together—at least three nights a week.”

“Put work away by 9 PM.”

“Ask her about her day. Listen.”

Painfully, your throat tightened as you stepped closer. Kunikida looked up, his expression soft and open, uncharacteristically uncertain. He held the notebook in his hands as though it might break.

“I stayed up thinking,” he said quietly, his voice heavy with something you couldn’t place—regret, maybe, or guilt. “You were right. I’ve been… absent. I thought I was doing what was best, but I was leaving you behind.”

You swallowed hard, words escaping you as he stood, stepping carefully toward you. His movements were deliberate, as though he was afraid of scaring you away.

“I don’t want you to feel alone,” he continued, his voice low, steady—different now, like he was peeling himself back just for you. “I’ve been so focused on building a future that I forgot to be present with you, here, in this moment. And I swear to you, I’ll fix that. I’ll fix us.”

Looking down, your eyes stinging with tears as his words settled over you like a balm to an old wound. When you didn’t respond right away, Kunikida exhaled a shaky breath and reached out—tentatively, carefully—until his hand cupped your cheek.

“Please,” he said, his thumb brushing against your skin, gentler than you thought him capable of. “Let me try again.”

For once, Kunikida let go of everything else. His ideals, his plans, his need to control every outcome—none of it mattered now. He held you like you were the most fragile thing in the world, his hand cradling the back of your head, his lips pressing softly to your hair.

,

The fight began with fire, as it always did with CHUUYA. It started with sharp words, thrown back and forth like daggers. You were yelling, your voice hoarse with frustration, while Chuuya paced the living room like a caged animal, his boots heavy against the floor, his anger a storm threatening to break.

“You never listen,” you shouted, your chest heaving as tears burned behind your eyes. “All you do is shut me out. Every time I try to talk to you, you shut me out like I don’t matter!”

In a matter of seconds Chuuya’s eyes snapped toward you, his temper flaring, his fists clenching at his sides. “I don’t shut you out!” he barked, his voice rough, defensive. “I’m trying to keep you safe! You don’t understand what it’s like to have—”

“To have what?” you cut in, your voice cracking. “To care about someone who won’t let you in? You think I don’t know what that’s like? I’m right here, Chuuya! I’ve been here, and you’re the one who keeps pushing me away!”

The silence that followed was deafening. Chuuya froze, the words sinking in like stones, and you could see the flicker of something breaking in his expression. His anger, once so loud, melted into something quieter—something heavier.

“I’m done,” you said finally, the words trembling as you turned toward the door. “If you don’t want me here, I won’t stay.”

Chuuya didn’t stop you. He couldn’t. He stood there, his hands trembling, his breathing uneven as the door slammed shut behind you. The echo of it hit him like a physical blow, a hollow ache spreading through his chest.

And then the silence swallowed him whole.

“You’re the one who keeps pushing me away.”

You were right. He knew it. He had spent so long building walls—walls made of iron and pride and fear—that he hadn’t realized how much it was hurting you. How much it was pushing you out of reach. Chuuya thought keeping you away from the darkest parts of himself was the only way to protect you, to keep you safe in a world that had always been cruel to the people he loved.

But instead, he was losing you.

The thought made something snap inside him. Chuuya was not a man who sat still when something he cared about was on the line. His love was not quiet or patient—it was fierce, reckless, and alive, and he couldn’t let you walk away believing he didn’t care.

He grabbed his coat and left, the door slamming behind him.

It was raining when he found you. The sky had opened up, and the streets were slick with water that pooled along the curbs. You sat on a bench under the dim glow of a streetlamp, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you stared at nothing. The rain soaked through your clothes, your hair plastered to your face, but you didn’t move.

Slowing as he approached, Chuuya‘s boots splashed through puddles. His chest ached at the sight of you—so small, so still, like the fight had drained every last bit of you.

“You’ll get sick sitting out here,” he said quietly, his voice soft in a way it rarely was.

You didn’t look up. “What do you care?”

The words cut him, sharper than any knife. He swallowed hard, stepping closer. “I care,” he said, kneeling down in front of you, his gloved hands hovering near your knees like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch you. “I care more than I know how to say, and that’s the problem, isn’t it?”

Finally, you looked at him, your eyes glassy, tears mixing with the rain on your cheeks. “Then why do you keep shutting me out?”

As Chuuya’s jaw tightened, he stared at you, the words tangled on his tongue. He hated this—hated how raw he felt under your gaze, how exposed he was now that he couldn’t hide behind his anger. But you deserved the truth, even if it was ugly.

“Because I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice low, unsteady. “I’m scared of what happens when I let you in, when you see all the things I’ve been trying to hide. I don’t want to lose you, and I thought… I thought pushing you away would keep you safe. But all I did was hurt you.”

You blinked at him, surprised by the crack in his voice, by the way his shoulders slumped as though he was finally letting himself break.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, his head lowering. “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I swear to you, I’ll try. I’ll try to let you in—to be the person you need me to be. Just… don’t leave. Please don’t leave.”

For a moment, neither of you moved, the rain falling steadily around you, cold and endless. And then, slowly, you reached out, your fingers brushing against his soaked coat before curling into the fabric.

Melting into him, your tears finally fell freely, though the rain washed them away before they could linger. Chuuya held you as though he could hold the pieces of you back together, his warmth seeping into you despite the cold.

,

Pacing the apartment, your frustration swirled in your chest like smoke. Dazai sat in the armchair near the window, his coat draped lazily over the back, his posture slouched in that same infuriating way—as though nothing could touch him, as though nothing mattered.

And that’s what broke you.

“Do you even care?” you asked, voice trembling as you stopped mid-step.

Dazai’s eyes flicked to you, dark and unreadable, the faintest quirk of his brow betraying his surprise. “What do you mean?”

The casual tone of his voice—the utter detachment—sent something sharp through you. “This,” you said, gesturing to the space between you, to the invisible walls you couldn’t tear down. “Us. Me. Do you even care, or am I just another distraction to you?”

Something flickered across his expression then—gone too quickly for you to name it. He stood slowly, his movements calculated, measured. “That’s unfair,” he said quietly, though there was an edge to his words now.

“Unfair?” you echoed bitterly, your chest tightening. “You shut me out, Dazai. Every time I try to get close, you laugh it off, or you disappear, or you pretend like none of it matters. I can’t keep reaching for someone who’s not even there.”

Instead of answering, he stared at you, his silence louder than any scream. And just maybe it was the silence that hurt most of all.

Letting out a shaky breath, your hands trembled as you wiped angrily at the tears spilling over your cheeks. “I can’t keep doing this. If you won’t let me in, then… then maybe I shouldn’t be here at all.”

Dazai’s eyes widened just slightly, but his lips pressed into a thin line, his mask sliding perfectly back into place. “Maybe you shouldn’t,” he said softly.

It was meant to be a shield—to protect you from him, to protect himself from the possibility of losing you. But the words struck like a knife, and you staggered back as though he’d hit you.

You grabbed your coat, ignoring the way your breath came in broken gasps, and you left without another word.

But he didn’t stop you. He couldn’t. As he stood there, staring at the closed door, the silence of your absence rang in his ears.

All this time Dazai had been good at pretending—at wearing masks so convincing that no one could tell where the act ended and the man began. He could laugh, charm, and lie his way through anything, weaving a persona that fit any moment, any room. But when the door closed behind you, the mask cracked, and the emptiness that lived in his chest reared its head, gnawing at him like it always did.

The mafia executive found you a few hours later, standing alone at the edge of the park, your figure small under the dark sky. He hesitated for a moment, guilt settling in his chest, but he couldn't stay away. Slowly, he approached, his footsteps quiet against the pavement, unsure of what to say. When you turned, your eyes red but calm, his heart sank. He knew this was his last chance.

“I’m sorry. I… I pushed you away because I didn’t know how to keep you close. I thought I could keep pretending that I didn’t need anyone, but that’s not true. It’s you. It’s always been you.” His words were raw, unguarded in a way he had never allowed himself to be, and the vulnerability in his eyes mirrored the openness in his heart. He took a step toward you, his voice thick with sincerity.

In the quiet of the night, under the gaze of a thousand stars, you closed the distance, your hands gently cupping his face, soft and warm. “I won’t leave you,” you whispered back. “But you need to let me in. You have to trust me, Dazai.”

Nodding, his eyes brimming with a kind of quiet desperation, as if you were the last thing that made sense in a world that had always been confusing to him. “I will,” he promised, his voice rough, but certain now. “I will.”

And for the first time in a long while, Dazai felt like he wasn’t alone.

<3

[megtrns]

thinking about the different kind of lovers megatron would be across timelines (nsfw!) (mdni!) (tfp, mtmte & transformers one) tw : rough sex, voyeurism, megatron being megatron

01. TFP Megatron is a callous warlord, if not a little cruel. And even if it was never in his intention to hurt his little human (because he's grown too attached to go through the trouble of replacing you), his roughness still bleeds into the bedroom. Sharp dentas, long claws: they were bound to leave marks on your body. But while they were never enough to injure, they were always enough to remind you that he placed them there on purpose. Megatron doesn't make mistakes ; every move is calculated and deliberate. Because whenever he runs his servos down the hickeys along the column of your throat, you can tell from the look in his optics that the sight gave him a special kind of high that not even dark energon can replicate.

He moves like he's been starved, bending you over tables and thrones, and sometimes, Megatron doesn't care for interruption. Once (without his mass displaced) as he was occupied with you in his throne room, a single talon circling your entrance as you sat across his lap, he had summoned a meeting — your back arched and eyes shut, legs spread open for his scientists and second-in-command to see. (It's safe to say that you and Starscream couldn't look at each other in the eye for weeks).

He doesn't make love. But on the days when he has the patience for it, and there is no urgency above the nemesis, Megatron moves with deep, shallow thrusts that leaves you on the edge of sobbing. With both wrists pinned above your head, he wants you to look — to watch as he slowly pushes into you. He wants you to feel every stretch, every delicious burn, unable to decide if he enjoys the sound of you begging more than the feel of your wet, human valve. And even when his mass is displaced, it still takes you some time to get used to him. Always, the pain was fleeting and barely there, quickly replaced by a growing heat that unfurls from your abdomen throughout your body. He treats you like a stretch of land for him to conquer and take  — who are you to deny him? Under his commands, your body does nothing but surrender to the raw pleasure each time. 02. MTMTE Megatron would be hesitant , apprehensive about this new relationship between you and him. He would initially withhold himself, only going as far as peppering kisses down your chest before retreating in guilt. On the days where he feels too undeserving, he'll act withdrawn and even cold, leaving you to wake up alone — the imprint of his body against the sheets the only thing convincing you that you hadn't dreamt him up. You tell him you're sick of it : of the push and pull and the slow, dull ache that rises to your chest whenever he refuses to look at you in the eyes.

But Megatron was always somewhat obsessive. He used to want a lot of things : the war, the fighting, the victories. But you made him feel like that was another life altogether. These days, all he could want was you spread out underneath him : chest to chassis, heartbeat singing along to the thrum of his spark. The image of your spine, bathed under the faint starlight creeping past the windows, running amok within his processors.

So somewhere along the way, he gives in. For the first time in millennia, he let's himself want — the taste of your mouth against his was the closest thing to benediction he'd ever received. Like a sinner sinking into his knees, Megatron seeks atonement with his helm between your legs, glossa slow and careful as both servos knead the curve of your waist. He says he likes giving more than receiving, eager to please, the mech's always been a little poetic (you don't expect less from him.) But you knew his guilty pleasure was losing himself to the feel of your mouth against his spike, soft and wet, so foreign to his sharp and unyielding world.

03. TF ONE D-16 is curious, all wide-optics and eager to learn. He doesn't think too much about the consequences of misusing his newly found T-cog to displace his mass so that he can see optic to eye with the little alien who had escaped a Quintesson ship. As much as he tries to act as the more responsible one between him and Orion, D-16 is still young. And like all young and healthy mechs (yet to be scarred by war), he has the usual appetite for visual contraband that had been smuggled and circulated into the mining sectors. He has never been the one to indulge in...strange preferences, but he’s heard about them before.

Of wealthy mechs and their voyages off worlds, where they'd suffocate themselves in exotic luxuries and mingle with all sorts of alien species — organics, particularly, were always tucked away somewhere in the furthest most empty corners of the galaxies. They are as rare as they come, only growing to become a popular genre of fantasy for Cybetron in the past decade. So, realising that he had one currently sitting across him, so squishy and gentle, D-16 had to swallow his shame when the request to pressurise his spike pinged to life within his internal processor.

Somewhere along the way, as you two were being held in a windowless prison by the High Guard, you’ve end up like this : with your shirt hiked up and his servos impatiently circling your back to pull you close. While you both couldn't understand one another, there is a universal kind of language in wanting. And you could see a kind of appetite in his electric, yellow eyes — as if he wanted to eat you. From the staring whenever you're bending over or fixing your clothes to the sudden surge of possessiveness whenever the other red and blue bot tried to hold you. Now, the second you are alone, he shrinks himself down to your size. There was a silent question in the air waiting to come to life, and as he waited, the air had grown taut and thin with tension. It was a good thing you had nothing to lose, choosing to answer his question by taking big, bold strides across the room and crashing your lips against his.

At first, you struggled to slot yourself against his armor: the hard surface and edges just wouldn't weld with your limbs. But he was persistent, and so you tried your best to breach the language barrier and teach him, satisfied that he's already learning not to bite you too hard. It was rough and fast and sloppy : a lot of fumbling and bumping into one another. And by the time you both got the hang of it, you were sticky and sweaty everywhere, the surface of his metal armor heating up against your skin. He had you pressed down against the floor, ass up in the air as he finally succeeds in pushing the head of his dick past your soaking, aching cunt. You both moaned in relief, his voice a broken jumble of foreign whirs and clicks. He paws experimentally at your chest, the noise between your bodies wet and obscene. You two must've looked like rabbits, and you were too far gone to care, letting him have his way with you if it meant you were going out with a good time.

[little-pondhead]

Day 20: Pitch Bible AU

I had a lot of fun with this :)

[Quotes from the pitch bible and personal headcanons are below the cut.]

Link to pitch bible

-

Pitch!Danny

"The kid with the nerdy, freaky parents. The kid who's afraid of his own shadow."

"Shy, quiet, stumbling and nervous - but always with a smile and a wink to his friends and the camera."

(Page 7)

Danny's death mark looks more like a burn scar rather than Lichtenberg figures. Everyone assumes he was in a fire whenever the trio talks about the Accident. The Fentons back this up since the true events cause an electrical fire in the lab.

He was only bullied about his scars once. Danny burst out crying on the spot, and no one has said anything since. He carries around a homemade balm to soothe the scars when he gets phantom pains.

His death mark extends into his hair and one of his eyes. He now has heterochromia as both Danny and Phantom, as the affected eye's iris was darkened, and a starburst pattern appeared. (inspired by this)

His overall eyesight was also affected, and he now wears reading glasses as a human. Danny frequently loses them, so his friends bought him a used eyeglass chain from a yard sale. The eyeglass chain is made of rainbow beads, and the spirit of the previous owner is attached to it.

Danny took up knitting soon after the Accident to help retrain his fine motor skills and concentration. He's quite good at it, and he made a sweater based on Van Gogh's Starry Night.

Frequently has ectoplasm stains on his clothes from either ghost fights or helping his parents in their lab. Most people think it's paint.

Phantom is invisible to most people (including himself when he looks in mortal mirrors.) He keeps it that way as much as possible, as his appearance is quite inhuman. Danny hates the uncanny valley feeling he causes wherever he goes. Even his friends had to work to get past the instinct to run when he showed himself. He has no pupils, but his death mark remains.

-

Pitch!Tucker

"Tucker uses the gadgets that Danny has gotten for him by raiding Mom and Dad's lab: The goggles that let him see ghosts, the backpack that lets him capture them, and the occasional random jet back that Dad was saving for a rainy day."

(Page 17)

Tallest of the trio, even with Sam's boots giving her an inch. Took track and field in middle school, so he's also the most physically fit, even if it's just by a little. Tucker is also the most reckless of the three and carries a first aid kit around for both him and Danny.

Bit of an adrenaline junkie, even if he won't admit it. Red Bull is his go-to over coffee and tea, which both Sam and Danny insist is bad for him. He's always hungry from sharing his meals with Danny, who cannot cook at home.

Tucker was forced to stop wearing his hats in middle school, but he hated his hair at the time, so he dyed it blonde and fried it straight to 'fit in better.' Sam and Danny have yelled at him for it, and he's slowly learning to appreciate his natural hair. (He still wants to keep dying it for a few more years, however. Red is the next color on his list!)

Takes dual courses at the Amity Park Community College in computer science. Became a top student quickly. He uses this knowledge to help Danny tinker with his parents' inventions and computers. (Which is difficult, given their backgrounds.)

Has a form of synesthesia called 'chromesthesia,' which means he sees colors and patterns when he hears sounds. His favorite color pattern is the sound of leaves rustling in autumn since it makes pretty yellow, orange, and red swirls. He turns the most memorable sounds into tie-dye t-shirts.

Tucker uses his 'liberated' Fenton tech all the time. Aside from ghost fights, he will 100% use the jetpack to get to school when he's late or use an extendable arm to hold a drink when he's busy. It drives Danny nuts because he has to recharge the backpack more, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't really mind. After all, Tucker is the one jailbreaking all their equipment.

-

Pitch!Sam

"A Goth Janeane Garofalo-type that hides her good looks behind baggy clothes, she is an encyclopedia of conspiracy theories and paranormal activity…a cute girl who loves all things geek!"

(Page 17)

Sam is the most serious of the three and is suspicious of everything. Her parents raised her as a rich elite; nothing comes for free in that type of life. She practically lives in the secondary suite that belonged to her grandmother Ida, tending to the greenhouse and library there.

Her favorite color is purple, and she raises Purple Emperor butterflies in the greenhouse in an attempt to increase their population, despite her location. She raises other butterflies and insects as well, but the Purple Emperors are her pride and joy. She wears purple butterfly charms in honor of them.

She has a bigger library than the high school, with books on topics Danny and Tucker have never heard of. During a ghost-induced power outage, they went to Sam and her library to perform an "ancient form of Googling." She did not appreciate that joke.

Cuts and dyes her hair herself, and bothers the boys about proper self care. She even has a little notebook in her pocket that lists reminders, dates, and observations she wants to look back on later. (For example, it reminds her when Danny is supposed to take his medicine, since his memory sucks now.)

Sam researches the paranormal almost obsessively, especially since she gains that psychic link with Danny. She wants to understand it, how it works, and why it happened. (She isn’t aware the ‘get better’ kiss was the cause.)

The random feelings and visions have increased her anxiety tenfold. Tucker jokes that she’s Batman now, since Sam has used her money to create a hundred different backup plans for everything she could think of, including hidden emergency packs all over town.

Once curb-stomped a grown man, as a child, on the day of Grandma Ida’s funeral because he was bragging about influencing the final will in his favor. She brings this energy to any fight she’s capable of participating in, and ghosts have learned to give her a wide berth. Locals just think she’s nuts.

[crepezinhos]

Hii! Could I please request yan! Diluc and yan! Xiao with a darling on hunger strike?(basically she refuses to eat unless freed)

Ty 4 reading my request!

Starving For Love

POV: At the end of the day, despite all their twisted actions, words, and thoughts, you know they do it just because of the weird kind of love they feel for you. They’re cautious about everything that happens to you, to a point where you can’t have the freedom to hang out wherever you want. So why not threaten them with something they can’t control?

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This is an angsty SFW Oneshot

— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Contains violent themes such as: starvation, self-harm, physical harming/abuse, forced marriage, imprisonmen, mentions of SA and lots of bad words

— AU is: Modern for both characters

— Abusive!Yandere!Xiao + Diluc

Xiao: Being on His Shoes

Xiao was a man that went through a lot. He was abandoned by his parents in the streets, which forced to learn how to survive as a homeless, hungry kid, barely making it through every day. Then, he was recruited by a man that basically enslaved him under a manipulative contract in exchange for a stable home, food and water. Even when he was saved by Zhongli, the country’s war general, and given a real, free life, he managed to lose all that he loved once again, but this time during an event that is now called the Archon War. If only he hadn’t volunteered to participate that day… he wouldn’t have met all the friends he made in the way or have to watch them all die in brutal, bloody ways. A shot in the heart, multiple gunshots, explosions, being kidnapped by the enemy… he had seen it all with those amber eyes and he definitely wished to never witness something close to it again.

That’s why when he met you and fell in love with you, he went paranoid. He couldn’t just let you roam free in the cruel world where you two live in. He could easily lose you to some stupid, or cruel reason if he let you have freedom to walk wherever you wanted.

He couldn’t even trust his loyal companions when it came to you. Maybe they would take advantage of his trust on them to take you away from him. Xiao didn’t understand that not everyone viewed you as this heaven-sent angel as he did. He thought you naturally attracted everything to yourself with your beauty, kindness, will to work hard, including men with bad intentions, so he decided to completely censor you for the world, only to be seen by his eyes.

And, now, you’ve been in this repetitive cycle of practically living in a chamber in his home for months. He was completely ignorant to any protest, either ignoring them or not even noticing them, which was making you run out of ideas.

But, now that you were reminded of the man’s past, thanks to Ganyu, your old boss, you had brainstormed an idea that could finally trigger him into saying ‘yes’, and tonight, you wished to test it.

“Adeptus Xiao went through a lot. From hunger to watching his friends die… he pretty much went through all miseries of the world and refuses to help himself. I apologize for his aloof manner, Ms. Y/N…”

You dearly missed to hear her sweet voice bossing you around. When Xiao wanted to boss you, his voice didn’t have any other motivation rather than his own selfishness, he simply wanted to own your soul. And let’s not mention how war-cry-like tone in his orders were when he was angry.

“Y/N.” The door of your chamber, where you were sleeping at, was finally opened. A comforting shine of the house’s upstairs’ lights came inside the room too, lifting up your spirit a little bit. “I made this for you.” He walked up to you with a plate of your favorite food, whose smell was mouth-watering to you.

“Thank you.” You decided to not get up from your bed, or stare back at him. Watching the few, unmoving stars in the sky you could see from the room’s window was more entertaining than him and his food.

Xiao thought that maybe you just weren’t hungry in the moment, and decided to place it in the ground by your bed gently. He wasn’t satisfied with the way you acted there, but he had no option but to leave. Just to make sure you were fine, as soon as he closed the door, instead of walking upstairs, he decided to lean his body down and peek his eyes through the peephole before. You remained immobile as expected, unaware of him being invasive to your privacy, but at least you didn’t seem to be trying to put in action some another stupid plan to possibly escape from him. That’s when Xiao finally decided to let go of you for now.

.

“Y/N?” You heard his voice right above your right ear, a little sharper than usual, causing you to wake up in a shiver.

You looked upwards, meeting his eyes wide and worried. Your stomach was constantly aching and rumbling for food now, specifically your favorites ones, but you decided to keep acting like nothing was going on.

“Why didn’t you eat your dinner?” He pulled the plate with food and showed it to you. Now, the smell of it wasn’t too pleasant.

“I didn’t like the food.” You managed to tell the lie smoothly. You’ve been rehearsing that for the past hours to make sure it was spoken normally.

“It doesn’t look like you’ve taken a single bite out of it.” He sounded more stressed this time, worried about the accuracy of your words.

“It didn’t look good. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it, I’m sorry.” Xiao was surprised at your words and your nonchalant attitude, just turning around to go to sleep like you hadn’t just almost cut his heart in half. No one, not even you when you were protesting, has ever said that his cooking was bad.

His concern immediately took over him. He grabbed the fork hanging at a corner of the plate and brought it the food.

Despite the fact that it was awfully cold and a little out of date, it still didn’t really taste as bad as you described it to be. It couldn’t possibly be worse when it was still fresh and warm.

“Are you… sure?” He couldn’t even believe he was asking you such a question.

“Yeah.” You shrugged your shoulders, a little nervous about staring at him in the eyes now.

“I should get you something to eat now, then—” Xiao immediately begun walking to the kitchen before even finishing talking to you.

“No.” You murmured, slightly quiet, but he still heard you like that was a scream, and stopped to look back at you again. “I’m not hungry.” You smiled at him, knowing it’d help convincing him.

“You’re… not?” Xiao was dumbfounded.

“No.” You shrugged your shoulders again and decided to lay down at the bed again.

Sleeping was the only thing you could do to ease your hunger pains and slow it down as much as possible.

“Ok…” His eyebrows frowned, beginning to suspect that you had other things in mind.

He decided to try avoiding any possibilities of you doing something against his rules, so, for the rest of the morning, he forced you to stay around him while he worked with many documents. Leaving you alone in a room where you’d have privacy to do whatever you wished to did not seem like a smart idea to Xiao. And, of course, it comforted him to have you around, despite your hatred for him.

But, of course, his mind was quickly unsettled by your disinterest in food. Xiao would’ve probably ignored it for a longer period if it wasn’t for his own experiences with hunger.

What a trigger you pulling on him.

As a kid, sometimes he would have to eat bugs, spiders, snow… so many messed-up digestible things to survive. He knows the feeling of starvation like it was his shadow. It was slow, painful, agonizing… so he obviously want to protect you from it at all cost.

“It’s 2 in the noon. You haven’t eaten anything.” Xiao finally exploded and expressed his concern out of the blue, stopping his document-reading to pay attention at you.

“I’m not hungry.” You repeated yourself.

“I don’t care!” Xiao finally stood up, slapping the table with both hands, making you slightly shiver on your spot. “I’ll bring you lunch.” He walked out of the room in a hurry, stressed and disturbed by your behavior.

He didn’t take long to, once again, bring a plate of the food he had cooked the day before. There was no way you hated his cooking that bad. He took your words in the most offensive way possible, and now he wanted to see you eat it to make sure you actually don’t like it.

Your face remained normal as he came back and approached you with the tray of food in his hands. He sat down by your side and begun forking the food for you, expecting you to respond obediently, but instead, you just kept staring at him like he was invisible.

“Open your mouth.” He brought the fork closer to your mouth but you simply grinned in response.

“No.” Your voice was normal, but it felt like a sting to him.

“I want to see you eating the food. If I see that you really don’t like it, I’ll cook something else. You could also help me cooking if that helps you.” Xiao’s eyes were barely blinking at that point, completely desperate to see the answers of his experiment.

“I’ve been saying it this entire time, yet, you still don’t realize it.” You looked down to giggle with a little bit more of respect. “I don’t want to eat.“ You rose your head again, courageous to pro rest, but Xiao still seemed to not get it.

“Hum?” He hummed in confusion.

You don’t way to eat?

Is that really what you said right now?

You want to starve until you’re crying in pain?

“I’m hungry, but I don’t want to eat. I’m not going to eat.” You crossed both your arms and legs while doing a staring competition with him.

“What are you talking about?” Xiao lowered the fork, anxiety already beginning to accelerate his heart.

“I’m tired of this, Xiao. I’m tired of living in some shit, gray chamber every single day of my life. I want my freedom back again.” Xiao’s eyes widened with that sentence, realization starting to take him.

Is that why you don’t want to eat your meal? You want freedom first? Freedom of what? You’re free in his house.

“Are you trying to negotiate your rights in this house?” Xiao’s voice was low, yet threatening like he was a fox, preparing to attack you.

“Yes, I am.” You remained unmoved, despite his adrenaline levels raising and his tone growing more violent.

“Do you want to be locked up in that room for the next 5 days?!” Xiao immediately threatened, standing up just to grab you by the collar of your clothes, which didn’t really make you flinch. “You’re not going to get anything. You’re good where you are. Now, be a good girlfriend and open your mouth.” Although he was trying to scare you into obeying him, the way his hands were trembling with anxiety made his threat look pathetic.

No… no… you can’t be preferring to be on his old shoes instead of enjoying all the modernity he offered you in that house. You can’t be preferring to kill yourself brutally and slowly rather than being his girlfriend.

Xiao grunted as he thought of those and genuinely tried shoving the spoon closer to your mouth, but your instincts reacted first and you flinched your head to the side, using your ams to hold and push his arm back. It almost worked for Xiao, but the food still couldn’t reach inside your red flesh. Even if it did, you could just spit it out anyway.

When Xiao thought of that too, he intensified his weight on top of you. He could control so many things of you, yet, he couldn’t control what your brain chose for your interns. Perhaps locking you in a room would be better for your little plan too, so what could he do?

What could he do?

What could he do?!

WHAT COULD HE DO?!?!

“No..!” You responded, barely opening your mouth to not let him possibly hold it on place and shove food down your throat.

“You better stop with this nonsense right now, Y/N!” Xiao’s eyebrows frowned even more, looking absolutely serious about your threat.

“I won’t stop with it until I get my freedom back, and there’s nothing you can do about it! Do you know how it feels to be stuck at home 24/7 with a person that’s not worth it?! I want my freedom back right now, Xi—!” Before you could rant all your feelings out of their gates, Xiao’s hand jumped on you, making way into your mouth and holding it open.

“Shut up… SHUT UP! You don’t want to do this, Y/N, you don’t!” Xiao repeated over and over while trying to fight the strength you were putting in your jaw to bite him. “You’re gonna eat this meal… you’ll be ok… and you’ll be grateful for the rights you already have..!” He started using his other hand to aim the fork of food inside you, causing you to try fighting him even more. “You can’t hate me… not this much… you can’t..! There’s no reason for you to hate me this much! I could be acting way worse, you know?! But I am merciful to you, and only you…” You’ve never heard him talk so desperately like that while managing to shove a few crumbs of food, inside your mouth, in which you quickly started pushing out of you with your tongue.. “EAT! FOR GOD’S SAKE, JUST EAT!” Xiao started bobbing and shaking your arms, trying to possibly wake you up from your delusion. “Why are you doing this?! Why?! Why?!?! I give you everything that you need to live safely!” He finally jumped away from you so he could continue ranting with more freedom, walking in slow circles around the room.

You started hyperventilating immediately, coughing too to make sure that was absolutely no nutrients going down your throat.

“Y/N, I know what hunger feels like… you don’t want to do this over something so stupid like freedom to go outside…” Xiao covered his face with his hands due to the trigger he was getting from his own memories. “Why would you even want it..? To go shopping?! I can do that for you!” You scoffed at his words.

“There’s no point in discussing this with you.” You shook your head side-to-side. “Let me have freedom.” You insisted another time.

But, unlike what you expected from the triggered man in front of you, did not submit to your wish, and this time he made sure you’d be punished for the agony you’re making him feel for your well-being.

.

You spent the next hours just screaming and banging the door of your cell, talking about how you’d not eat until you got your freedom and for him to let you out, over, and over, and over… until you fell asleep, disappointed at yourself for not calling his attention.

But you were wrong. Of course Xiao could keep his eyes on you even when he was far. There was a single, miserably small camera in a corner of the room that could move to every angle of the room that you never spotted. As soon as he counted 10 minutes of you not moving in the bed, he decided to climb down and visit you.

Although hunger was making you fall asleep easier and harder, Xiao knew that you were alert to every touch of his due to your disgust. So he has to keep his steps smooth, his breathing calm, and his touch barely sensible.

He very slowly closed the door, the ‘bang’ noise fortunately didn’t wake you up. Then, he gently stepped around the room in soft spots until he could reach his hands on you.

It reached a loose strand of your pijama’s borders and slowly pulled them upwards until he could mire most of your chest. Although your underwear and raw skin did distract him a bit, as soon as his eyes landed on your ribs, now with visible bone curves, twisted his stomach upside down.

He remembered when he first realized his slimness when he was a famine kid. He would rub his hands around his ribs, finding the curves of his bones cool to play with, but as soon as his stomach ached for some source of energy, he curled up in agony and sobbed, praying for food to somehow appear for him.

To think of you in such situation made his grip tighten instinctively in your dress. He would’ve sheltered you or anyone in that situation immediately. But, now that he’s in love with you, he specifically belies you shouldn’t ever go through the hardships of Liyue for no good reason, even if you want to. After all, it is one of the many reasons why he keeps you stuck in one safe place with no access to harm.

But… it still failed to keep you safe from harm or simply to make you like it. You were supposed to be feeling comfortable at his home, not starving yourself to get out of it. He hated to see you doing that to yourself because of him. What a mean trick of you to use such a method of self-harm against his sensibility. One that he directly relates to, one that he directly fears and repels.

He can’t let you do that.

He can’t let you feel what it feels like to step in concrete-made streets, or in snow, with care feet.

He can’t let you feel cold enough to have your fingers and nose burning due to the heat shock of it.

He can’t let you feel hungry enough to think a beetle could be nutritious.

He can’t let you sell your dignity for some poor, soulless cheater.

He can’t let no man take advantage of you and place their dirty hands on you.

If he went through enough misery being a man, the thought of what it would be the woman he loves in his place makes him want to vomit.

He can’t let you hurt yourself.

.

“Ms. Y/N?” You heard a female voice above you.

Your body shivered in fear. It’s been a while since you’ve last been waken up by one of Xiao’s house maids.

“W-What…” The first thing you felt was a sting in your stomach and rumbling noises coming from it. Hunger was really becoming serious now.

Your eyes were aching to close again and your arms were barely handling to hold you sat in the bed due to the lack of energy in you.

“Here.” She offered you a whole pile of documents organized in a folder. “I’ll be your assigned caretaker.” She bowed to you and begun walking away from the room to let you have privacy to read the documents.

You watched the Mai’s leave in disbelief. From that sentence, you assumed that you won the game you proposed and that made your eyes open in joy.

You quickly turned to the folder, and the first thing your eyes landed on when you opened it was a small, orange sticky note.

“Please eat before beginning to read this.

I’ll be back at 8. You have until that time to enjoy the city.”

You rapidly removed the note from the white sheet in which it was glued against after reading it, desperate to dig out the context for that note and to satisfy your hopes. Your eyes were flashed by a whole pile of white sheets with multiple essays written in Arial font and in black color. You quickly ran through various pages, meeting various titles and sections for it all, like you were reading a law. Finally, you went back to the first page, and decided to finally take a look at the enormous title at the top of the page.

Your Rights of Freedom

And you could swear a tear rolled down your cheek.

Diluc: Bipolarity

Diluc was a man that had all advantages over you, and he used those to trap you in his house and control how you acted. He had money, power, influence, security… everything that you didn’t have more of.

Your life, right now, could be easily described as “depressing”, and nothing else.

You had no freedom at all. You were forced to abandon your friends, family and career dreams, to become a traditional wife. All you were left with were the maids of his home, but Diluc still restricted your relationship with them a lot, or else they’d surely suffer enormous consequences. You couldn’t ever leave the house, not even to the backyards. Diluc wasn’t even sacred of the possibility of you running away or you telling someone about your relationship with him, he just wanted to have you entirely for him and his needs. A perfect wife who was devoted to him and happy to pleasure him. But, since he couldn’t achieve that from you naturally, he used those financial advantages to force you to devote to him. The only times you’d ever get out of that house was when he wanted to bring you out with him and possibly bond with you truthfully, but since you wouldn’t demonstrate any interest, he’d rarely do so. For some reason he still believes he has the chance of making you genuinely fall in love with him. Don’t blame him! He tried making you love him for many years, ever since the beginning of college, but you never saw him as anymore than a friend! Diluc, in the other hand, was so obsessed with you and your rejection to his confession that he could barely sleep comfortably. Thoughts of you and him together filled his mind 24/7. He dreamed to have you wearing beautiful dresses for him, especially the white one, with a bouquet of flowers in your hands. The only things that ruined how Diluc processed his feelings was his father’s death. He loved his father, but never quite appreciated his efforts truly. When he died, an avalanche of guilt was thrown in Diluc, making him feel worthless for many years for not being as grateful as he should been to his dad. He was so scared of ever wasting anyone he loved again that he decided to make you his before you could ever think about getting a boyfriend, instead of simply letting you go.

And if you disobeyed his orders, he would punish you in multiple ways, either physically or mentally. But, since your fears made you submit as soon as he threatened you of punishment, you’d never actually found a reason to fear Diluc.

That phase was the worst phase of your life. Having to abandon literally everything you’ve built and have been building was a poison that only rose deeper in your blood vessels. And to submit to a toxic man, and having to act like a perfect robot that couldn’t do mistakes was truly draining. You had a soul. You had passions. Not even some passions of yours were free to you. Films with violence or sex? He won’t let you watch it. Films with female empowerment? He won’t let you watch it. Romance novels? He won’t let you even think about it. You protested, and protested, and protested… but Diluc never heard you. You were his, by law, and while you were stuck in there, there was nothing you could do about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he hated to see you staring at nothing, wondering if this mess of a ‘marriage’ will ever end. But if it meant he could make you love him, even if it was due to a Stockholm Syndrome, he didn’t see much problems in imprisoning you like that.

Once again, you were tired of it all. You wanted to regain the confidence you used to have once again. Breaking his furniture wouldn’t annoy him, harming him wouldn’t annoy him, harming other people around wouldn’t annoy him, not even if you harmed yourself would be enough.

But… what if you harmed yourself in a way he can’t control? Because if you slash your wrists or throw yourself from the home’s third floor, he could still take you to a hospital and save your life. Because he can stop you from dying pretty easily. But what if the harm was in stomach, a place his hands can’t reach?

So, you made the choice of starvation for this month’s protest.

.

“Do you not like the food?” He asked to you while you simply stared at the plate in boredom with your hands in your thighs.

“I’m not hungry, my dear.” You said despite your desperate wish to eat that delicious, juicy, medium-rare beef the cooks had made.

Every time the words ‘my dear’ has to come out of you, it felt like a stab in your heart. How many angels have lost their wings yet with every time you were forced to call him that?

“Eat.” He demanded with a more real tone this time.

“I’m feeling sick, my dear, please.” You decided to put your hands around your belly to make your lie look more real.

“What are your symptoms?” He already seemed to suspect your words.

“Nausea. A heavy one.” You covered your face with your hands and started rubbing your fingers around your forehead, as if you were trying to act more ‘sick’ to him.

He remained quiet for a few seconds, judging your argument and trying to remember if you’ve acted like that throughout the day. Perhaps you could be lying, but illnesses usually show up unexpectedly, so there was a possibility of the same really happening to you right now. Maybe one of the things you ate today were rotten and were making you feel sick like that. He could already feel some anger rising in his veins, thinking about the punishment he’d give to the cooks that let rotten food reach your beautiful pink lips.

“Ok. Go to bed.” He ordered you, this time more sweet and trustful about your claim.

Thankfully, there was a TV in his room, which was what you usually used to make free time run faster. Since you had many “wife duties”, you’d barely have time to sit on that bed and enjoy yourself with that big screen, to instead, spend an insufferable amount of time with him. Spending hours watching whatever you wanted on it, since he wasn’t there to monitor, you enjoyed yourself like never before. It was a great time, and you were glad you got to enjoy a little bit of your life again before it was absolutely crushed.

.

“What do you want for breakfast today?” He asked while leaning down to put his leather shoes on, on the right corner of the bed, and you, putting on a cozy robe in the opposite side of the bed.

“I’m not hungry, my dear.” You were short with your words, and refused to look back at him.

He remained silent, but you could sense his eyes preying at you, pausing his own shoe-putting.

“What are you trying to do, Y/N?” His voice already sounded scary to you, but you unfortunately had to swallow it all down to keep posture.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what are you talking about.” You still tried to act like everything was alright.

“You’re always hungry for breakfast, Y/N, no matter if you ate dinner or not. How are you not hungry after a whole night without eating a thing?” He finally went back to putting his shoes back on, so he could get off the bed as soon as possible to walk up to you.

His tall, menacing figure, standing close to yours, made your body harden in fear and flinch away from him. You couldn’t do it. No matter how many hours of practice and self-reassurance, you couldn’t even make eye contact with him when he was standing like that. A threat.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Y/N?” He asked, but you couldn’t find anything to answer again. “Stay right there. I’ll bring you food first.” The sudden change in his harsh tone to a more normal one, made you swallow all your saliva down your throat in relief, feeling how badly it had accumulated and stuck to your mouth during this moment of silence.

As soon as you heard his steps growing quieter and quieter, you sighed all the air you couldn’t exhale previously.

You closed your eyes and begun doing a breathing exercise, knowing you were certainly going to go through something bad, but with some hopes that at least it would be worth it.

It didn’t take Diluc long to come back with a plate of your favorite meal. Your mouth salivated to eat it, but you simply looked away instead, causing your stomach to rumble in denial.

“Here.” He sat down by your side and lifted his arm with the fork in his hand, but you refused to even look at it. “Look at me, Y/N.” His eyes were barely bruising your skin with their intensity.

“No.” You firmly stated. That was probably the only word you’d be able to mumble without stuttering.

“Excuse me?” Diluc sounded a little ironic, which triggered you into finally standing up for yourself.

“I will not eat any sort of food u-until you l-let me..!” You had to breathe in and out a deeply before managing to gather courage to finish your sentence. “Until you let me have my freedom back!” You closed your eyes and screamed. Without seeing his face, you had courage to scream whatever you wanted to him.

You proceeded to hyperventilate, waiting for him to give an initial argument for you to debunk.

Diluc suddenly threw the fork in some corner in the room. The sound of silver crashing around the floor multiple times made your body flinch back hard, completely opposite to your bravery. You saw his hands laying in the bed right after, using them as a support to stand up.

Yeah, you’re done for.

You thought that sentence to yourself over and over while looking down, preferring to listen to the eery noises of wood cranking with every step of his than staring at his poisonous eyes.

You thought that sentence to yourself over and over while looking down, preferring to listen to the eery noises of wood cranking with every step of his than staring at his poisonous eyes.

But, instead of what you expected, he simply stared down at you from a really short distance, in one of the deadliest silences ever.

“No matter what you say… I’ll not give up until I get my freedom ba—”

SLAP!

Before you could even groan from the agonizing pain of his tough hand crashing against your soft skin, he forcefully pulled your chin back with his hand until you were staring at him again. Now, you finally managed to let out some gasps and moans of pain.

“What kind of nonsense are you trying to babble right now, hum?” He whispered like everything you’ve said yet was an unfunny joke. “You’re not going to get any sort of freedom. I don’t care what you do to fight for it.” He tried breaking your confidence down, obviously not allowing you to defend yourself.

He remained quiet for some seconds again, admiring your pathetic hope to get his hand off your chin.

Diluc sighed and suddenly used a few of his force to pull you closer to him and spin the both of you around, making your feet pathetically dance in the floor to keep yourself balanced in it, and then pushed you.

You weren’t really scared of that, since you figured you’d fall in the bed, but you were terrified of his intentions. Seeing yourself in such position under him while he stared down at you with a stoic face made you wonder of what he intended to do with you.

From saying mean things to you, from threatening the well-being of anyone you loved, from harming you physically, or even… sexually.

The natural female fear of rape, which was already further intensified due to the situation he forced you to be in, took you over.

“D-Don’t…” You couldn’t even cry for him to not harm you like that, only curl up your legs and pull the bed’s sheets to censor the view he had of your body.

Diluc never really assaulted you like that. It was pretty unreasonable to expect that from him. But the way he unconsciously mired down at your legs made you absolutely certain that he’d do it, especially considering the hundreds of disadvantages you had compared to him.

“Don’t what?” He unexpectedly turned away from you, walking to the other side of the room in a normal pace.

You hated how his mood would change like a light switch. It was barely predictable. It’d always make you act contrary to his intentions, which was either annoying to him, or funny. When you were afraid of punishment, when there was no punishment, made him proud of how he tamed you. But when you acted sarcastic or unworried when there was punishment, had his blood boiling.

You heard silver noises coming from behind. Diluc was picking up the silver spoon he had previously thrown to scare you.

“N-Nothing…” You finally managed to answer his question, still too scared to leave the spot in the bed he threw tou at.

“My dear.” He completed your sentence with a sarcastic, but angry, tone, like he was tired of having to repeat that order over and over.

“M-My dear…” You repeated like a scared noise, which he luckily found cute.

You saw him coming back to you, rubbing a piece of his suit in both sides of the fork.

“I hope you don’t mind this was on the floor a few seconds ago.” He sat down by your side again, immediately focusing on the plate that was resting between you two. “Open your mouth.” He ordered again, as if nothing that you previously said even reached his ears in the first place.

You frowned your eyebrows, barely gasping at his audacity to ignore you.

“I already said I’m not eating anything!” You found courage to stand up against him again, which made Diluc sigh in annoyance.

Diluc stood up again and didn’t have any patience before fisting his hands and unexpectedly using them against your belly. It was a single hard punch that barely knocked your stomach out of your mouth. You curled your body and groaned in pain, trying to hold your will to vomit back to its place.

“Are you really going to force me into doing this?” His voice was low, contrasting the quivering woman kneeling under him.

“Y-Yes…” Your mouth barely pooled saliva in the floor as you tried to resist that punch’s pain.

“It would be better for you if you stopped this nonsense right now.” Diluc pulled your hair all the way to the back, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

But you hardened your face and nodded side-to-side, knowing that was simply a manipulative trick of his to convince you into giving up.

Diluc sighed again, and this time, he forced you to look down, immediately meeting his knee hooking hard against your face. As soon as he hears your moan, he let his grip in your hair go too, which made you immediately fall into the ground to your back, knocked down. You could already feel your nose aching from being twisted and blood drips running down from you. With trembling hands, you tried wiping them off, no matter if Diluc was already stepping closer, this time with the plate in his hands again.

“I wonder what suddenly got you so confident like that. Did you consume anything inappropriate yesterday in the TV?” He kneeled down, beginning to aim the fork to your mouth again, thinking you were already defeated.

Even if Diluc was the kind of man to worship you and your beauty in every opportunity and take all care necessary to keep your body unharmed, what he did to you right now was the complete opposite of your expectations of him. You’d never know it, but in the end of the day, Diluc secretly thought you looked even prettier when you were bleeding, especially because it was done by his hands. The contrast in the color of blood and your skin was always something that called his attention, and seeing it in your beautiful face made him delighted.

This time, you wanted to clarify your protest, and allowed him to put the food in your mouth, only for you to turn your head to the floor and spit every single crumb of it, each one that he saw falling in the woods itching his nerves.

“Tch.” He rose his body up again, immediately proceeding to punish you physically.

This time, he decided to take the opportunity of your exposed neck and cheek to barely crush your head using his foot, stepping and rubbing the leather on your cheek mercilessly.

“Why the fuck can’t you just be a normal wife like in every other couple?! WHY?!” His foot uncontrollably raised from your face and moved down, beginning to kick and hook multiple spots of your body while he screamed “Why” a million times.

.

This was probably one of the most suicidal eras of your life. To be spanked until you were put in a hospital bed and to wake up to him immediately threatening to harm your parents if you didn’t give up in your stupid plan, or told anyone in the hospital about your relationship, when you couldn’t even speak due to the breather, was definitely a gut-wrenching nightmare.

You gave up in your plan. Thankfully, neither of you made any comments about it, even if he had every opportunity to shame you for your stupidity. That’s exactly what he used to do after one of your plans failed. He mocked you, shamed you and punished you. A true torture that you would have to endure every time you failed.

“Y/N.” He called you again as you ate dinner in opposite side of the table to him.

Your whole body flinched as you heard his voice call you. It’s been a week since your latest protest attempt and it’s been a week since you’ve begun flinching to every action of his directed to you. It was inevitable. It was your first time ever being a victim of such kind of brutal abuse. You were scared for your like to make anything that would possibly trigger him into doing it again. Although you could’ve begun acting like that on pirose to make him feel guilty, this time, your fear was genuine, and he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“Yes, my dear..?” You still had to answer to his every call with that nickname just like he taught you to.

“Do you—…” He wanted to ignore it, but he couldn’t anymore, and sighed, giving up on the idea of ignoring you again, and starting over again. “Why do you flinch every time I interact with you? Is this another trick of yours?” He dropped his fork in his plate and begun staring at you with calm eyes, trying to get you to feel comfortable with him, or threaten you if you were lying.

You wanted to scoff at him, anger barely raising to the tip of your tongue with such ingenuity, but you swallowed it down. You don’t want to die yet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear.” You looked down and proceeded to eat, trying to make yourself less nervous.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” At this point, Diluc already knew you were lying about your ‘innocence’ when you lowered your head down so frenetically like that. “Is it because of last Monday?” You didn’t move any other muscle of your body rather than your jaw, biting your food as slow as a snail, to gather some courage before answering him.

When you finally swallowed, most of the accumulated saliva went down with the food too, preparing your mouth for speech.

“Is there any other alternative, hum?” You dropped your act for a moment and immediately shoved a piece of meat in your mouth again right after, fisting hard on the fork to not demonstrate him any more anger.

Diluc didn’t say anything else and just stared at you stoically for some good minutes before deciding to unpause his eating.

.

At bedtime, Diluc hugged you from behind as usual and fell asleep. You didn’t want to move a single muscle of your body, afraid he could get angry, practically curling yourself so he could hold you how he desired to and with ease. Of course Diluc noticed it too. You’d never slept so paralyzed by his side. Sometimes you’d even turn around and unconsciously hug him during your slumber, but now, he couldn’t feel a bit of comfort in the way you slept.

“Y/N.” He whispered, causing you to shiver once again.

You failed, didn’t you?

“Relax.” His voice immediately triggered you into obeying him.

You couldn’t relax your whole body, of course, but you did enough for him there, relaxing your legs and shoulders. It was enough for him not to bother you again with it.

Diluc was pissed. And your behavior was only growing his anger more and more. He did use fear to train you as a wife most of the times, but he never intended to make you so uncomfortable like that. He intended to slave you into loving him, not to slave you as an actual slave. You were doing so well previously, obeying him and still finding a few reasons to smile at him somehow, but not even gifts were turning you on now. Everything he did was like an alert to you

Why couldn’t you be a normal wife who dearly loves their husband? Every time he went to business-related parties and took you with him, he’d always meet his companions surrounded by their wives, who were happy to be holding their arms, to be wearing their rings, to be talking about their husbands to other women, while he didn’t get any of that from you. To everyone else, you were Diluc’s shy, weird and quiet wife, and now you’ve peaked those adjectives.

.

The alarm annoyingly ticked over and over, waking you up from your slumber. You couldn’t feel any weight around you, meaning Diluc had already gotten up. You sat up in the bed, leaning forward to turn the alarm off. You begun your morning by stretching your arms as usual and rearranging your pijamas back to their normal placement around your body, since they’d sometimes twist into really bizarre angles. While you prepared yourself for another depressive day, you heard the door to the bathroom slide.

“Good morning.” Diluc stared at you while walking to the closet in the opposite side of the room.

This morning, you attempted to not answer his greeting. You just weren’t in the mood of it, although that could’ve meant you’d get punished.

“If you’d like to go out today, I’ll assign a maid and a driver to take you anywhere you want to go.” His words caught you unexpectedly, especially since he was talking so neutrally about it, not even looking at you.

“W-… What..?” You could swear your eyes were shining in excitement.

“You heard me.” He refused to repeat his previous words, shrugging his shoulders as he ran his hand through his many hanged suits.

“I can… leave..?” You could feel your eyes get slightly wet.

“Yes. You have until 7 to come back. If you come home tardy, I’ll make sure your right of freedom will be reduced to zero again. And I believe I shouldn’t need to mention the consequences what will happen in case you tell anyone about our marriage.” Diluc quickly got dressed and left the room before he got any more flustered from hearing your sighs of relief and excitement. At least he was happy he managed to bring genuine joy to his beloved wife. “Goodbye.” He greeted before closing the door.

And a tear ran down your cheek.

From the relief of knowing that all your hard work had made profit.

Taglist: @the-stinky-winky @amoyanderes @kindofshyent @shyentsfoundherink @bigmantiddys @goofy-ego @luminieee

Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it <3

[oh-no-its-bird]

*falls out of a tree with a yelp*

There needs to be more people horny gripping for 40 year old Tobirama. Not enough people got to appreciate him. So I propose....

Tobirama and Kagami being yeeted back in time together via, Tobirama trying to save Kagami during his last stand but his blood loss made him have less control over his teleportation and instead of moving towards his other students Tobi moved himself and Kagami to the past. They proceed to do the usual of, making the village happen sooner as the norm of Naruto time travel fics lol

Except now Kagami is trying to keep Madara and/or Izuna from fucking his dad, who is not helping because he thinks this is funny. Do the brothers have Daddy Issues? Maybe...but older Tobirama go BRRRRRRRRRR

I am ringing the bell in the town square yelling ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ OLD MAN FUCKER !!!!!¡¡¡¡ THERES AN OLD MAN FUCKER IN MY INBOX !!!!!!!! For all to hear

Kidding but only bc 40 isn't old enough to make u eligible for the title. Still ringing the bell tho

I'm in fucking tears tho that would be such a great crackfic.

Older Tobirama time travels w Kagami and instead of being a tense political drama ab the differences between his younger self and older (in some ways, both versions are harder and softer than eachother— just in different departments) and what this means for the future of Konoha. And the implications of having 2 Tobiramas and 2 Kagami's, and how older Tobirama must decide what to do about Madara's inevitable defection.

Instead of all that. It's just 11k words of Madara horny gripping his thighs, breathing heavily as he stares at older Tobirama from across a peace talk table as Izuna screams into a paper bag and Hikaku looks like he's having an out of body experience.

Make it funnier actually. Trick the readers and make the first bit of the fic like. Super serious and from (young) Tobirama's POV

He is living in that tense political drama ab facing the man he will one day grow to be, and meeting his future adopted son (who is an uchiha!!!) And all these implications and heavy moral dillemnas of that peace really means and if he will allow it to soften himself like it has done to this older him. But also if he will allow it to harden himself too— but then, won't that happen anyways as the years go by?

Then like halfway through the chapter u get the Madara POV and it's just him screaming internally ab how bad he wants to hit that.

The things he wants to do to that man...the things he wants that man to do to him...... he is mentioning these Things(tm) to Izuna and Izuna punches him in the face then screams to never talk to him again and runs away to probably scream into a pillow for an hour.

Hikaku tries to talk to Madara and learns More Than He Needed To Know and promptly stands up and power walks away

Meanwhile Izuna is actually attracted to older Tobirama but unlike Madara, who seems to be overwhelmed with it enough to cancel out any other thoughts and feelings, is really fucking mad about it

He wants to climb him like a tree. He also wants to murder him in his sleep. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

Hikaku approaches him, intending to commiserate ab Madara / let Izuna vent a bit bc hes clearly wound up and needs it. Only for Izuna to let slip his own (honestly much more alarming) fantasies. Hikaku is fucking going THROUGH it.

Meanwhile, (young) Tobirama in the bg, seeing none of this: "The true nature of peace...can someone like me really help create such a thing?"

(Older) Tobirama is enjoying the show and absoloutley aware of his effect.

Kagami needs him to STOP. This is the worst thing to ever happen to him in his life.

Uhh endgame one or both Tobirama's end up sleeping w Hikaku (the younger version possibly getting into a relationship w him after the elder leaves?) bc this is the funniest outcome to me. And Madara and Izuna lose their fucking minds ab it

[xxsabitoxx]

Choso NSFW A-Z

Part of my 20k follower celebration (past due)

Warnings: if it isn’t abundantly clear, this is smut :)

A/N: in honor of hitting 20k followers a while back, I’m going to be posting 10 NSFW alphabets for JJK men — scheduled post 10! This was my first time writing for Choso so please forgive me if it's ooc

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Choso is very hesitant and shaky after sex, usually collapsing onto the mattress in a heap with you beside him. Aftercare goes both ways for the two of you, with Choso carefully cleaning you up while you run your fingers through his hair and kiss his face all over. Choso is such a cuddle bug after sex, opting to be the small spoon so he can place his head on your chest and be cradled so lovingly it could bring him to tears. Choso thrives off of your reassurance and praise since he’s pretty new to the world of intimacy. Every word of encouragement builds his confidence. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Choso is completely fascinated by your entire body, the man will literally break a sweat if you ask him to name his favorite part. He’ll spend hours exploring you, constantly looking up at you through his lashes for reassurance as he trails his fingers along the plains of your skin. Choso finds it fascinating that your breathing stutters when his fingers meet your abdomen, moving lower towards your sex. He loves the way your thighs fall open for him, tensing as he moves his head between them curiously… over time you may get him to admit that he’s utterly obsessed with your sex, though he’ll be very shy to admit it.  

On himself, Choso has become quite fond of his abs. Mostly because of the way they feel when you run your hands over them, or when you grind yourself against them. They tense and grow almost ticklish as you sit on him, pulling breathy whines from his lips as you suck on his neck and jaw. Choso loses his sanity just a bit when your fingers are running through his hair, your sex grinding down on him while your bodies are pressed flush together. It’s so many new sensations that it nearly makes him feel overstimulated. But he’ll never tell you to stop. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Choso cums a lot. Like more than you expected to see, so the first time you two tried anything it wasn’t surprising that you got him to cum fast… but the amount caught you by surprise. Choso’s face was flushed pink, lips parted as he panted heavily and watched with lidded eyes as his pearly cum spilled over your fist. You thought you’d ease him into things with a handjob. As Choso learns more about the world of sex and intimacy, he finds a lot of satisfaction in cuming on your back, ass, or stomach. He just likes the look of it, still too timid to try coming inside of you just yet… he’s saving it for when he truly feels confident in his abilities. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Choso tries to teach himself when you aren’t with him. He wants to surprise you with new positions and techniques the next time you two fuck. Choso spent three whole hours on pornhub one afternoon and nearly pounced on you the moment you walked through the door. He did things you didn’t even think he knew about yet (like face sitting and spanking) and to this day you still don’t know where the “inspiration” came from. Not that you’re complaining. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Choso, sweet angel he is, has zero experience when it comes to sex, intimacy, and relationships. You are his guiding hand for the most part, talking him through everything you’re doing to him while also instructing him sweetly on what he can do to you. Choso is anxious but eager to learn, letting you take his hands and move them to where they need to be. He’ll take your words into consideration as he rolls his hips experimentally, eyes shifting between where he disappears inside of you and your face to gauge your reactions. Choso is a quick learner, he just needs your reassurance to really build his confidence when it comes to sex. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Choso has been put through the ringer by you when it comes to positions, you want that man in every way possible and he is more than willing to appease you. Choso has grown quite fond of you being on top, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and facesitting have all climbed to the top of his list. He also enjoys sitting on the couch and having you climb into his lap, rolling your hips against his while he’s totally at your mercy. Once Choso gains his confidence, he becomes quite attached to positions such as a mating press, 69, doggy, and just about anything that allows him to press a lot of his body weight onto/into you. He wants to be close. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Choso can be unintentionally funny during the act, it’s more so his cuteness that will cause you to burst into a fit of giggles. For the most part, Choso is pretty serious during sex, focused on making sure you enjoy yourself as much as he is. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Before getting with you, he didn’t do much with his hair down there. He’d clean it when he showered of course but for the most part it was… kind of unruly. You never showed any discomfort about it but Choso took it upon himself to clean up down there so he could be “more presentable” for you. You assured him you didn’t care either way. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Choso is way more into the romantic side of things, he doesn’t fully understand the idea of hook-up culture and doesn’t really want to understand it either. He’d rather take all this time to learn and get comfortable with the idea of intimacy with someone he’s very into and harbors feelings for. So when you do fuck, he’s often telling you how much he cares for you, whispering soft praises and thanking anyone who will listen for bringing you to him. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Literally never. It was such a foreign concept to him that you had to explain what it meant. He got flustered, claiming he understood the idea behind it but expressed that he had never done it himself.. Which led to a mutual masturbation session that he enjoyed very very much. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Choso falls into some of the more broad kinks, he’s still learning and figuring out what he really enjoys. But he can say with certainty that he’s into the dom/sub kind of roles and bondage. He finds that he really enjoys orgasm control when you’re performing it on him, but with you he likes to overstimulate you until you’re begging him to stop. Shibari and bondage were a surprising interest he had, finding the intricacy of shibari to look beautiful on your body and enjoying the rough feeling of robes restraining his own. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Choso prefers a bed, a spacious one at that. He likes the versatility it provides him, giving him more than enough surface space to try just about anything that comes to his mind. He enjoys being able to just collapse into the sheets after because the man gets tired pretty fast. As he ventures further into his discoveries of everything sexual, Choso figures out he really likes the idea of getting caught… so public spaces like a bathroom stall or maintenance closet become more and more appealing to him as time goes on. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. You get him going in ways he has never felt before. Something about you is so damn hypnotic to him, you make him feel things he’s never even dreamt of feeling. You consume every waking thought he has when you aren’t in his presence and you’re all he sees when you are. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurting you. He doesn’t mind spanking, but he refuses to do anything that will cause you real pain or make you bleed. Though with sex there are some aspects that are just out of his control, and he gets that. But if he ever gets too lost in his pleasure and bites you or rakes his nails along your thighs hard enough to make you bleed? He feels terrible after. You assure him you don’t mind, and even tease him for disliking your blood despite his curse technique. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Choso adores it when you go down on him, it’s such a new and addicting feeling for him. Your mouth is so wet and warm and just feels so damn right around his cock. He’ll sit there, fingers fisted in the sheets, or the couch cushion, or maybe even in your hair. His jaw is clenched shut, inhaling deeply through his nose as you work his cock with your tongue. You like to call it stamina training, seeing how long he can hold off his orgasm. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Choso’s pace is usually set by your hips considering he lets you take the lead for the earlier stages of your relationship. Once he has the confidence to take the lead, Choso’s pace is naturally sloppy and rough, which you love. He assures you he’ll work on it but you’re two fucked-out to even express that you love it, just staring at him with glossy eyes and a tear streaked face. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Choso is down for quickies but only if they benefit the both of you. You like to suck him off at random points because you just can’t get enough of how pretty he looks with his rosy cheeks and dilated pupils. But Choso isn’t a fan of the fact that you often don’t get to cum. Quickies cna turn messy fast for the two of you, which turns into full blown sex in a closet opposed to the quick aspect a quickie should have…

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s so genuinely curious about the world of sex, kinks, and everything that encompasses. So yes, Choso is down to experiment with just about everything you present him with and will not back down from the battle before him. You find his determination awfully endearing. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

In the beginning, Choso could only last maybe 2-3 minutes if he was lucky. You assured him it was fine and that you’d slowly work your way up with him. Five months into your relationship, Choso can last 6-8 minutes per round and go at least 3 with you each night. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You own toys that you introduce to Choso. You waited about two months before showing Choso your collection, his eyes were as wide as dinner plates as you showed him each one. Choso finds that he really really likes using vibrators not only on you but on himself. He gives your dildos a disdained look but you assure him you haven’t touched them since getting with him. Though once you introduce him to the world of pegging / being the one penetrated he may change his tune towards them… maybe just a little heh…

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Choso will tease you unintentionally and intentionally at the same time. You made a fatal mistake by showing him how to edge and deny orgasms. He uses it to his advantage, edging you until you’re blabbering and begging him to let you cum, just to lead you to the brink one last time and stop all together… you’ve created a monster.  

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Choso is a whiner, his voice gets higher in pitch while you milk him for everything he is worth. He’ll cry your name over and over and tell you how amazing you feel, all the while you swear tears are brimming in his eyes. He’s not ashamed of any noise he makes, he owns them and wears them with pride. It makes you happy to know he has no idea that other men find those noises to be embarrassing and try to suppress them. Choso gives you his 100%. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Choso was genuinely disappointed when you told him lingerie was really only made for women. Bless him, he wanted to be able to dress up cute and/or sexy for you. So, you got to work and found some sexier pieces for him to try on and dammit you had to agree with him, why don’t they make lingerie for men? Something about him wearing silky boxers with leather garters that clung to his thighs and a silky red robe that hung open and only just barely covered his ass… you swore you were seeing stars and he hadn’t even walked over to you yet. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Choso got a lot going on for someone who initially didn’t even understand the concept of sex. Soft he’s about 5.7 inches and when he’s hard he’s just skimming below 8. He’s tanned, foreskin still present, and curves upwards just a bit. His tip is a pretty rosy color and due to his foreskin still being part of him… he’s 10x more sensitive. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before you? Nonexistent. After you? He craves sex at least once every night (if you’re a woman, yes he still wants you when you’re on your period, he ain’t no bitch). 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It can be nearly instant for Choso depending on how many rounds you went. He’ll try his damn best to stay awake and do proper aftercare but there have been a few times where he’s passed out while still inside of you I’m not gonna lie

[hihello-pinky]

Sight (6)

Suna Rintarou x F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintaro had to learn this the hard way.

Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and in no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

WARNINGS: fluff, angst, explicit smut (unprotected, rough sex) -> lmk if i missed anything

Word Count: 6k+

Finally, an update! Thank you for staying with this fic despite my very slow updates. There might be 2-3 parts left before the end; depends on your answer to my question at the end of this chapter! haha (wink, wink)

Kindly reblog, like, and/or leave a comment if you loved this chapter and let me know what you think! xoxo

part one ༘⋆ part two ༘⋆ part three ༘⋆ part four ༘⋆ part five

kofi for tips 💌 ~~

˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚ - - - ˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

Twenty-five days.

Suna Rintarou swears he isn’t keeping track, but his stupid brain screams the number at him. It’s been twenty-five days of torture - his mind plagued with thoughts of wanting to kiss you.

Kiss you, kiss you, kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.

He’s had the urge in the past but all of those times were out of the haze of sexual intimacy. His current dilemma, which began 25 days ago, is something else.

It had been a mundane Saturday morning. The kids were already up and engrossed in the TV show they both loved so much. Suna was in the kitchen, trying to be of help as you prepared breakfast.

The menu for that day was sunny side-ups paired with hotdogs. You were trying to show him how to perfectly crack eggs open when he moved to stand beside you to look closer. Your hand slipped, spoon cracking against the egg and he laughed. You moved to chastise him and in turn, the egg white from the cracked shell plopped against him.

With widened eyes, you gasped and then, backed with a barely contained giggle, apologized to him. The sound of your laughter was sweet and the way your eyes turned into little crescents tugged at Suna’s heart.

At that moment, he badly wanted to kiss you - to feel your laughter through your lips.

Now, he finds himself at the balcony of your bedroom, eyes turned towards the moonless sky with a lollipop in his mouth. Through the open door, he can hear the faint sound of the shower and he groans, urging his mind to not stray towards other thoughts.

He feels foolish with these emotions that you’re bringing out of him. Granted, they’re not unfamiliar, but it’s been several years since he’s had these feelings. And truth be told, Suna never thought he’d feel this way again: wanting to love someone.

He knows what he’s feeling for you is more than just platonic. But Suna is also pretty sure that he isn’t in love with you.

Yet.

“Rin?” Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “Would you mind closing the door? The breeze is coming through.” He sees that you’re now done with your shower, robe wrapped around your body with a towel in your hand.

He bites off the remaining lollipop and chucks the stick at the small bin by the balcony. Shortly after, he joins you in the room but not before making sure the door is securely locked behind him.

The smell of your green-apple hair conditioner hits him almost immediately. It’s a scent he has ignored for years but now that he’s free from his pride to admire every little thing about you, he basks in the scent. He then makes his way to the vanity. “Do you need help drying your hair off?”

Your curious eyes meet his through the mirror and after a few slow blinks, you nod. He takes over the towel and you open a drawer to bring out the dryer.

For a few moments, your eyes watch him work with the towel, gently squeezing clumps of your hair for the last drops of water possible. Then, before passing the hair-blower to him, you say, “You’re gonna end up with cavities given all the candies and lollipops you’ve been having.”

“They’re working, though,” he replies. “I haven’t smoked in over a month.”

You smile at him. “I’m so proud of you.” And then, as if deciding on what to say next, you add, “I wish there is another alternative so you won’t have to take too much sweets.”

Maybe it’s the proud look on your face. Maybe it’s the way your lips pucker out in a cute pout. Or maybe, he’s just so tired of counting the days.

Finally, Suna says, “What about a kiss?”

The way your eyes immediately widen is almost comical. “W-what?”

Suna only laughs as he takes the hair dryer from you, the brief skin contact making you blush. He shakes his head, smiling. “Nothing.”

“Huh?” you try to turn around so you’re face to face but he places a hand on your shoulder.

“Stay still.”

“But…”

“Y/N. Let’s dry your hair first, okay?”

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

Drying one’s hair is supposed to take around five to ten minutes only, but after Rintarou’s question, it feels like it’s taking an hour. It’s not helping that he’s standing so close to you, hands gently drying your hair, warmth radiating from his body.

Once finished, you immediately turn on the seat. “Rin.”

“Y/N.”

The question comes to the tip of your tongue but never leaves your mouth. You bite your lip instead and avoid eye contact. “N-nevermind.”

As you try to stand, Rintarou stops you. “You’re cute when you blush, did you know that?”

You don’t answer, knowing full well that his remark only made your already flushing cheeks redden even more.

Suna sighs before cupping your cheek tenderly, urging you to look at him. Once your eyes meet his, he rubs a gentle circle on your skin. “I want to kiss you.”

It feels like your heart is beating a hundred miles per minute. Did you hear him correctly? He wants to kiss you? Suna Rintarou, the man who never kissed you in the five years you’ve been married? Suna Rintarou, the man who didn’t bother to kiss you on your wedding day?

I want to kiss you.

A lot of things have changed in the past months but still, Suna manages to surprise you. You feel like a teenager navigating romance for the first time again.

Another gentle rub on your cheek brings you back to the present, where Suna is saying he wants to kiss you. “Well? Are you going to allow me to kiss you, Y/N?”

Your only response is a meek nod to which Suna shakes his head. “I want you to say it. Tell me that you want me to kiss you.”

He never once breaks eye contact as he says those words. The urge to look away is so strong, for you feel like the longer you stare into Suna’s eyes, all the emotions inside of you will break out. Burst into a bubble that would consume you. It’s going to be cool, but suffocating.

Instead, your eyes remain on him, trying to decipher if there’s any ill-intentions in them.

You only see sincerity… and pained longing. As if every minute you’re not asking him to kiss you is bringing him immense pain.

But kissing him… it’s going to be a big step in your relationship. Granted, the two of you have been sleeping with each other again. But kissing is an entire thing different from sex. You’ve never kissed during sex before. Kissing him now would mean…

Rin doesn’t speak with words, but the way his thumb grazes your cheek once more tells you that he’s waiting. Finally, you decide to pocket the fears you have about kissing him. “Kiss me, Rin.”

He exhales in relief as he leans down and the distance between your lips get smaller and smaller and smaller and you get the sweet taste of his strawberry lollipop from earlier.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

Goodbye, 25 days. Suna thinks to himself that night, as you lay sleeping beside him.

It’s just a kiss, but he can’t stop himself from feeling warm at the memory of your lips against his.

It’s just a kiss, but he feels like he’s on top of the world.

It’s just a kiss, but when he finally falls asleep that night, a stupid smile is on his face.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

In the following days, Suna learns that he has found a new addiction.

Waking up in the morning? A kiss on your lips.

Thanking you after finishing a meal? A kiss on your lips.

Saying goodbye before leaving for work? A kiss on your lips.

Seeing you after arriving at home? A kiss on your lips.

It’s not just even the feeling of your lips against his that makes him addicted to it - he’s also enamored by your reaction every time you kiss.

The way your breath hitches a little as your lips meet, and the soft sigh you let out once you part almost always bring a flood of warmth to his chest.

“Are you going out today or staying home for work?” Since you’ve been getting better, you have started to resume working again.

If it were up to Suna, he wouldn’t want you to work at all. Your current job is not demanding at all, minimal reports needed. He remembers helping you get it five years ago, when you had opened up to him about the missed opportunity after your graduation. Still, he knows you enjoy what little you do at work, so he can’t ask you to leave it.

“I’ll stay in today,” he hears your response. “I’ll visit the office on Friday.”

He makes a mental note to himself. “Okay.” And then, “Do we have any plans this weekend?”

He adjusts the cuffs of his long-sleeved shirt as he hears you hum in contemplation. “Ah! Hajime invited us for Kenta’s birthday party this coming Saturday, right?”

Of course. Suna remembers the conversation two weeks before. He remembers trying to tame the jealousy brewing deep within him as the older man talked to you. He knows he has nothing to be jealous about. You’re just naturally sweet and friendly while Iwaizumi apparently started seeing someone.

“I almost forgot,” he confesses as he approaches you to where you’re lounging at the sofa. You’re currently waiting for your laptop to finish installing its update before you start work. “Do we have a gift already?”

“I actually ordered something but it’s stuck in one of the sorting hubs. If it doesn’t arrive by Friday, maybe we can drop by the mall or something?”

“Okay. I’ll go now, then. See you later.” He crosses the short distance between you, hand already cupping your face as he kisses you goodbye.

And if Suna is smiling while driving on the way to work, thinking about your goodbye kiss, then no one has to know.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

Express delivery, as is turns out, do not always live up to its name. It’s now Friday and the package carrying your gift for Kenta has made no movement from the sorting hub. You’re at your table at work, waiting for Rin to pick you up after you texted him that you would need to drop by the mall first.

The children are at their grandparents since this morning and you’ll be picking them up when you and Rin go to their house for breakfast tomorrow. You look at the picture on your phone. Rintarou is splayed on the bed with the twins all over him. It’s from last weekend, when your kids had come to wake the two of you up.

Your heart is instantly flooded with warmth and joy. You didn’t think it’s going to be possible, but years later, here you are with a happy family despite of the circumstances. You couldn’t ask for more.

The notification on your phone alerts you that Rin is almost at your office building. You bid goodbye to your colleagues. As the door to the elevator begins to close, you see a woman rushing towards it. Luckily, you’re able to press the ‘hold door’ button immediately.

“Thank you,” the woman sighs in relief as she shoots you a grateful, sweet smile. She’s an unfamiliar face, which is not a surprise to you since you rarely visit the office and interact with people outside of your core department.

“No problem,” you reply while mirroring her smile, before turning your gaze ahead.

You’re about to settle on that elevator silence between strangers when the woman speaks. “For a building with over 30 floors, you’d think they have more than three working elevators.”

You hum in agreement. “The ‘under construction’ signs at the other two elevators have been there forever, right?”

“Oh, really? I wouldn’t know.” She lets out a small laugh. “I’ve only been here for two weeks. I’m in a contractual project, actually.”

The elevator doors open and you two walk out, still conversing. “Ah, may I ask what project?”

“Hitomi-chan’s passion project,” the woman replies with a smile. “I’m in-charge of photography.”

You feel foolish only noticing the camera bag slung on her left shoulder. “I see. You must be very good, then. Hitomi knows to pick partners well.”

A sweet laughter spills from her again, her cheeks blushing a little. “You’re too kind…”

“Y/N,” you reply, as you both approach the exit.

The woman extends a hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. You can call me Serin.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Serin.”

A security staff of the building approaches the two of you. “Your husband’s car just pulled up at the parking area, Mrs. Suna.”

Serin’s grasp on your handshake falters a little. “Oh, you need to go?”

“Yes. See you around the office, Serin.”

She gives you one last smile before waving goodbye. “See you around!”

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

You’re only supposed to buy a gift for Kenta but two hours at the mall later, you and Suna are pushing one big cart of shopping carts each. You don’t talk as you navigate the parking space, but the exchange of smiles and grins speaks a lot.

“Why did we buy so much?” You ask as you watch Rin load the bags into the car. “We’re such impulsive buyers, oh god.”

“Hey, don’t feel bad splurging sometimes. We all deserve to spoil ourselves once in a while.”

“Is that why you bought a large fox plushie?” Your voice is laced with teasing. “I didn’t know you’re into stuffed toys.”

Suna loads the last bags before closing the door. “I bought that for you, though.” He takes your hand and leads you to the front passenger seat, opening its door. “And don’t act as if you weren’t looking at it with heart eyes when I showed it to you.”

You make yourself comfortable in the seat. “Sure.”

Suna scoffs playfully before shaking his head as he swats your hand away and puts the belt on you himself. “Okay, you’re never allowed to hold it ever, then.”

You fake gasp. “Really? Then that makes me sad.”

He leans in and kisses against the pout on your lips. “You’re so cute, Y/N,” he says once he pulls away.

“And you’re so silly, Rin.” This time, you’re the one who leans in and pecks his lips. As you’re about to pull away, you feel Suna’s hand on your head before he tries to deepen the kiss.

A small whine leaves your lips and gets swallowed by Suna immediately before he finally pulls away.

“Rin…”

You’re breathing heavily and he’s in no better situation. His eyes have darkened and the way he looks at you makes you squirm on the seat. You avert your gaze. “L-let’s go home.”

It takes him a beat to answer. “Yeah. Okay, sure.” He pulls back, squeezes your upper thigh, and then closes the door for you. You’re still not looking at him when he gets in the driver’s seat and maneuvers the car outside of the parking lot.

Once you’re on the road, one of his hands lets go of the wheel and reaches for you blindly before landing on your thigh. It stays there for a whole minute before you remove it. You lace your fingers together and place it on your lap instead.

Suna hums in contentment as he continues to drive, but not before squeezing your hand. You don’t even notice that he’s driving at the fastest allowable speed limit.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

You’re glad that your children are at your in-laws’ house as you hear the incessant and loud creaking sound of the bed, paired with the headboard’s rhythmic slamming against the wall. Rintarou is groaning against your lips as his hips are working overtime in thrusting against yours.

“Fuck,” he whispers before capturing your lips in another frenzied kiss. “You feel so damn good, shit.” He’s heavily breathing and making lots of noise than usual.

You would have called him out for it if you were doing any better. “Ah, Rin, ah… right there.” Your words are cut off as he kisses you again.

Tonight’s sex feels different. It’s not only because it’s the first time you two are kissing during the deed. Right now, it feels as if Rintarou wants to tell you something through his actions.

His unforgiving thrusts continue, the onslaught of pleasure throughout your body unending. You already know you’re going to be sore tomorrow, but you can’t bring yourself to ask him to be less rough. He’s hitting all the right spots and all the sounds that you’re both making are only adding heat to the room.

“It feels like your pussy wants to swallow me whole.” He pulls back slightly so he can see the probably messed up and fucked out expression on your face. “I love the way it pulls me in. Fuck, you’re so tight. Feels so fucking good!”

His words bring you to an unexpected orgasm and you whine with volume. It doesn’t deter him as he continues his hips’ movements. His lips are quick to silence you as he begins to move inside of you faster.

You should probably feel embarrassed with the sloppy, wet noises that your bodies are creating but it just feels so good. Your head is empty and all your mind can do is chant his name repeatedly.

Rintarou. Rin. Rintarou. Rin. Rin. Rintarou. So good.

“Louder,” his word snaps you out of your daze. It’s when you realize that you’re now moaning his name out loud. Ironically, you feel flustered and look away from him.

His hand starts roaming around your body and settles on your left breast before he pinches on the nipple. “Look at me, I want to see you come.”

He guides your face towards him and you two meet eye-to-eye. The room feels too hot but you ignore it, trapped in your bubble of intimacy with your husband. You’re stuck with letting out little whimpers and small exclaims of “ah, ah, ah”s as Rintarou continues to move inside you.

Unlike his earlier kisses, he plants a sweet peck on the side of your lips before pulling back. “Do you feel good? Are you okay?” His voice is now soft, a stark contrast to his rough thrusts.

You can only nod before a gasp of pleasure leaves you again.

He chuckles against your lips before aiming a single hard thrust, forcing a louder moan out of you. “Am I making you feel good, Y/N?”

You nod repeatedly, hands gripping him harder. The dig of your fingers on his skin makes him groan sexily. “Fuck, answer me. Do I feel good inside you, wife?” Another well-aimed thrust.

“Y-yes, yes!” you finally let out. A sniffle. “It’s so good. More please, Rin. I need more.”

Rintarou doesn’t deny you and quickens his pace, giving you what you want.

And everything feels right. This is what things should have been. The both of you giving and taking. The both of you feeling good and taken care of. You and Rintarou. Rintarou and you. Under a happy spell.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

The last time you were at a party setting with Hajime, things didn’t end well. However, you feel like today is a good one. For starters, you don’t have the underlying pressure of making sure everything goes smoothly. And to make things better, your husband has not left your side ever since your family arrived at the venue.

Risa and Ryuu are happily playing with all the other kids while you’re at the parents’ table, making small talk with the other guests. An older couple - Hajime’s relatives, you think - comments on how you and Rin look good together.

You thank them, turning to your husband’s shoulder to hide your blush. Instead, you see him smirk teasingly, an arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

The party goes well. Food, games, gift-giving…

Hajime finally sits next to you with a small sigh, the two of you barely exchanging more than a few words within the past hour. “This is tiring but very rewarding.” He’s staring at the direction of his son. “All for Kenta’s happiness.”

As if feeling his father’s eyes on him, the boy turns to your direction and waves, a toothy grin on his face.

“You know, in his earlier years, I only felt resentment towards his mother.” Hajime’s voice is tender. He rarely talks about the mother of his son, her being a touchy subject. “But now, all I feel is gratefulness and pity. I’m thankful because without her, I wouldn’t have Kenta. I pity her, because she’s missing out so much on how wonderful and amazing my son is.”

You can’t say you truly understand what he’s feeling. Still, you acknowledge to yourself that your children do seem to be merrier ever since Rintarou joined the three of you, bonding all the time. “Did she ever try to reach out?”

Hajime shakes his head. “No. And my attempts to talk to her were all futile.” The sad look on his face passes quickly. “You know, Y/N, I never considered dating again. Not until Kenta’s much older. But I’m glad I took the leap recently. She already adores Kenta and he likes her a lot, too.”

You perk up at the mention of his new lover. “I’m glad to hear that. Speaking of, I thought she was coming today?”

“She said she’ll catch up because something came up with the project she’s working on.” Just then, a notification pings on Hajime’s phone. “And now we’ve summoned her. I’ll go meet her at the door.”

You watch as your friend eagerly makes his way through the crowd. It’s then that you decide to go on a powder room break to freshen up. On the way, you bump into your husband who’s returning from the restroom. He tucks a hair behind your ear. “You good?”

You look up at him, smiling. “Yes.” It’s crazy, really, how a simple gesture from Rintarou makes your heart flood with happiness.

He mirrors your smile, a bit of mischief laced in it. Rin leans closer to you and asks, “You’re not too sore anymore?”

Blood rushes to your face and you swat at him. “Please, don’t.”

Through his arms around your side, you feel his body shake in laughter. “Okay, okay. Don’t be a blushing mess. We’re in public, Y/N.” He pulls you closer to him and plants a quick kiss on your temple. “Let’s behave from now on.”

You murmur chastising words as events from last night come back to you.

Suna had just forced you to finish drinking a glass of water, mumbling something about you needing to re-hydrate. You’re already washed up, dressed in a pair of fluffy cotton pajamas.

“Good girl,” he murmured before placing the empty glass on the bedside table. He then propped himself up against the headboard, making sure the blankets are covering you.

The praise made you smile like a shy young girl and Rin opened his arm. You didn’t allow yourself a moment of hesitation, immediately going towards his warmth. He squeezed the side of your waist as you snuggled against him.

The post-sex bliss was still surrounding you both. “What are you thinking?”

The sound of his heartbeat was calming, and you didn’t realize it had been slowly lulling you to sleep until Rin repeated his question. It’s been happening a lot lately - him initiating conversation, wanting the two of you to build good communication.

Maybe it’s the domesticity of snuggling in bed with your husband, or the way his hand had traveled upwards to where it’s rubbing softly against your back. You weren’t exactly sure what spurred you to answer candidly. “I’m thinking that I really like you, Rin. A lot. But I guess you already knew that.”

He hummed in confirmation. You weren’t expecting anything back, you knew it’s only been a few months. But much like he’s been doing, Rintarou surprises you. “I’m thinking I’m starting to care about you. A lot. Though it may take me a lot more moments of introspection for me to truly know what I feel. But, really, Y/N, I care about you and I want you to know it, in case I haven’t been clear.”

The hesitation in his voice almost made you melt. He didn’t need to say it, to be honest. You’ve noticed it in all the ways he had been changing in the past several weeks. Trying to quit smoking, spending more time with you and your kids. Opening more communication between you two.

Still, the verbal affirmation is welcomed.

“Thank you, Rin,” you murmured sleepily against him. “For all your efforts.”

You vaguely heard him whisper the words back to you before you drifted off to sleep.

You pull back from hiding your face against your husband’s body and crane your head back. He inspects your face briefly before saying, “All good, you no longer look like a ripe tomato.”

You fake glare at him and remember where you two are. You look around and see Hajime introducing someone to his guests. Beside you, Rintarou pulls out his phone after it pings. He begins typing his reply with one hand, the other reaching for yours.

One of the things you have learned about your husband in the past months is that he can be clingy. You grasp his hand and intertwine your fingers together.

As Hajime approaches you with his new guest, your eyes widen. “Serin?”

Two distinct sounds reach your ear.

Serin’s gasp.

And the sound of a phone crashing on the floor.

Rintarou lets go of your hand as he bends down to pick his phone up.

“Y/N? What a lovely surprise. You’re friends with Hajime?” Serin is quick to give you a hug. “Such a small world!”

You smile at her and then your at friend. “This is… wow.” You turn to Rintarou who’s now back on his feet. You reach for his hand back but he puts both his hands inside his pockets.

The look on his face tells you that his phone must have experienced serious damage.

“Serin, this is my husband, Rintarou. Rin, I met Serin at work yesterday, I didn’t know she’s the girlfriend that Hajime has been talking about. This is a nice coincidence! Don’t you think so?”

The woman blinks slowly before she smiles slightly at your husband. “Nice to meet you.”

To your surprise, Rintarou ignores her extended hand. Instead, he gives her a curt nod before promptly excusing himself outside.

You mask your concern and turn apologetically to Serin and Hajime. “Um, I’m sorry about that. Maybe he’s upset about his phone.”

Serin purses her lips in a small pout. “No worries, Y/N. Let’s talk again later, I want to go to the birthday boy now.” She shoots you a dazzling smile before dragging Hajime by the hand towards Kenta’s direction.

You sigh. As much as you’re delighted that Hajime’s girlfriend is the same nice woman you met yesterday, you can’t help but worry about Rintarou.

After a quick glance at your kids who are engrossed playing with their friends, you follow your husband outside.

Rintarou is restlessly pacing back and forth and though you’re not that physically close, you can see his brows knotted in worry.

“Rin?” He pauses at your voice and looks at you with slightly wide eyes. He doesn’t offer any words.

“Are you okay?”

He blinks a few times. “Yeah.” And then, “Just needed space to breathe.”

There’s a moment of hesitation - as if he wants to say more but decides against it. He resumes his pacing and you quietly slip back inside.

The rest of the party goes relatively well and you’re glad that you’re able to spend time and converse with the other parents from the playground. Moreover, the happy giggles and wide smiles of your children filled your heart with love.

Soon enough, Rin’s earlier actions get pushed to the back of your mind.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

It wasn’t particularly a long day but as soon as you got Risa and Ryuu to fall asleep, your body starts demanding you to rest.

You barely make it through showering. Once you’re done for the night, you move to settle on your shared bed with Rintarou to see him all quiet. He’s sitting on the bed, leg impatiently tapping on the floor.

“Rin, what’s the matter?”

He looks up, your eyes meeting briefly before he turns away. “Nothing.”

In the past, you would have let it go, afraid that you’d push the wrong buttons to set him off against you. But now, given how things have changed between the two of you, you want to talk.

“You’ve been awfully quiet since we left Kenta’s party. Is something bothering you?”

It takes Rintarou a very long time to respond. When he does, it makes you think you may have misheard him.

“Sorry? What did you say?” You ask, your voice gentle despite the tremors and dread building inside you.

His response comes again, louder and clearer this time. “You.”

“Rin?”

He looks you in the eye this time as he stands up. It’s only then that you noticed he hasn’t changed out of his clothes yet. “You. The one that’s bothering me.”

You shake your head as you begin to step closer to him. “I don’t understand.”

Rintarou scoffs. “Of course you don’t.” He swats away the hand that tries to touch him and it leaves you freeze in surprise.

He then makes his way towards the balcony. And you’re still standing there, left alone in the room, dumbfounded and confused.

Oddly enough, this feels like a deja vu.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

At the beginning of your forced marriage to Suna, you knew there was a slim chance that you two would get along. He hated you, and deep down, though you never voiced it out loud, you also resented him for taking advantage of you and getting you pregnant.

But now, looking back at the past few months, you think that your relationship might actually work. He’s no longer treating you horribly. In fact, he’d been extremely nice, getting involved in preparing for your kids’ arrival, being supportive and caring, and overall acting friendly.

For this night, you decided to cook him a simple dinner. He had texted you earlier in the day that he’d drop by Osamu’s newly-opened restaurant to give his congratulations. You had told him it’s okay if he wanted to celebrate with his friends but Rintarou insisted that he’d much rather spend the evening with you.

You knew not to get your hopes up, that he’s just being a responsible father and husband. Still, your traitorous heart beat wildly at his last message, looking forward to seeing him come home.

Four hours later, however, the dinner you prepared is cold and you’re seated alone at the living room couch. Waiting for Rintarou who never came home at the time he promised.

Your eyes were drooping, drowsiness almost winning the long battle you’ve been having against it. Finally, the door opened and Rintarou came in.

He looked utterly wasted.

You stood up in the fastest way possible for a heavily-pregnant person. “Rin, what happened? You weren’t answering my texts and calls. I was so worried.”

He looked up from tossing his shoes to the side. His hair was disheveled and his face was flushed, probably from drinking. “Fuck off.”

The words surprised you, the venom in them strong enough to make you take a step back. You were able to regain your stance nonetheless and moved closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Huh? Are you okay, Rin?”

“Don’t call me that.” He glared at you before swatting your hand away. “You ruined everything. Everything.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. “What? Rin, I’m confused. What happened?”

He didn’t answer you and instead began walking towards the stairs. You were hurt and confused but you didn’t want the night to end with him ignoring you.

Being pregnant, it took you longer to arrive at your now shared room. When you opened the door, you saw that it was already a mess. Broken things everywhere, confirming your suspicions from the sounds you heard on the way to the room.

“Rintarou, stop!” You tried to tell him but he whipped so fast to face you that your feet froze on the spot. “Leave me the fuck alone! You ruined my life, my everything!”

You remained unmoving, fists clenched at the sides. “I don’t understand. Can you calm down, please?”

He grabbed an ornamental vase that you had placed on the dresser and threw it on the floor.

You stared at the flowers from your garden. Lying, broken, and mangled. “Rin, I’m getting scared. Please, let’s talk about what’s wrong?”

“You,” he finally responded. “You’re the most wrong thing in my life.”

His words felt like dagger to your heart. You couldn’t understand what was happening. Things have been going well…

“I hate your existence in my life. I hate this. I hate that I had to marry you. I hate that you’re pregnant. I hate-”

“Please don’t say that,” you begged, tears flowing down your face. “Don’t.”

Rintarou laughed emptily. It pained you to see how angry and sad he looked like. “Isn’t this what you wanted? To talk about what’s wrong? It’s you. So here’s what’s going to happen: since you’re adamant about keeping the babies, then fine, go ahead.

“But I want you to know that this marriage will only be words on a paper. Do not expect anything from me. I will never be your husband. I will never be your friend. You will never mean anything to me. I will never love you. Understood?”

You could barely see him through the stream of your tears. You wished this was just a bad dream and that you’d wake up soon.

“Answer me!” Rintarou yelled. “Do you understand?”

“Y-yes.”

He kicked at the broken vase by his foot. “Now leave me the fuck alone.”

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

The memory claws at your heart and you clutch at your chest. It seems like everything from the past is repeating but this time, the pain is multiplied ten-fold.

You can’t help but ask yourself as you stare at the fox plushie on your hands.

What really happened?

Can you really not be happy with Rintarou?

You lift a hand to wipe at your eyes. The other loses its grip on the toy and it drops onto the floor. You wipe your tears one more time before leaning over the bed to reach for it. It bounces against your strained grip, going further out of your reach.

It seems like the fox plush is mocking you.

You tiredly go down the bed to pick it up. However, once it’s back in your hands, you decide to just lean your back against the bed’s side instead of climbing back onto the bed.

You haven’t felt this tired in a long time. Not even during your recent fight with Rintarou months ago.

You close your eyes to fight off the tears that have resurfaced, tears that never really stopped forming in your eyes. To your dismay, you’re unable to ward them off, so you’re left crying, tears escaping your closed eyes.

And as you succumb to the darkness brought by your closed lids, you wish for the pain to be gone the moment you open your eyes.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

Outside, Suna shuts the balcony door behind him before he leans against the railing. He can hear the faint sounds of your crying but wills himself to ignore them.

Instead, he stares ahead at nothing, hoping something can drown out your sounds of sorrow. He curses under his breath until he reaches into his pocket, hand clenching tightly on the item.

Not long after, with the backdrop of the dark sky devoid of moon and any stars, the tip of a lit cigarette burns bright like a blaze.

to be continued.

˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚ ˚₊⁎⁎⁺˳༚

I hope you liked this update hehehe. Question! Do we resolve things quickly or go down the hard path (and curse Suna along the way?) LET ME KNOW!

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added or if you changed your user): @warrior-of-justice @alisa--things @wolffmaiden @kurookinnie @simp-nerd-16  @alex-is-100 @k4g3hika @harukaaaaa172993 @themoonreflectsthesun  @lvjycrow @cantbedenied @sweetlikerockcandy @sirimiripetrichor @yamiakari-chi  @noideawhothatis @nervouscoffeetaco @lovemyfamily4ever-blog nervouscoffeetaco  kamukayakmonyet  yuqixidle ieathairs  cantbedenied  gariben  beomeomgyu  esmeisdrunk-blog  123j456l  iluv-ace  semitje @justablogforreblogs @alienvarmint @itohsi @tamimemo @mshope16 @jeonsfizz @syndyj @susuarin @ssc7514 @tkooooop @lialoveskaisersomuch @dilucsleftshoelace @bakingcuriosity @appepel @arusio

[atinystraynstay]

Game Night - Yoon Jeonghan

Synopsis: Jeonghan was the type of guy who joked around, the type to be not so serious. I guess that's why you never took his flirting to be anything more than him trying to get you to laugh. Jeonghan was now determined to make you see differently.

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem reader

Genre: friends to lovers! playful competitiveness with Jeonghan

Word Count: 1.8k

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"So, y/n, what are the chances of you letting me be yours for the night?" Jeonghan asked teasingly. "Maybe when you learn to stop cheating at Guess Who!" You groaned.

It was a typical Sunday night for you and Jeonghan. You two always had game nights together, ever since you can remember. Both of you were quite competitive, so you were equal competitors for one another. At this point, most of the members have given up on playing against Jeonghan anyways.

Jeonghan and you had become good friends over the past few years. However, you never believed Jeonghan was into you. He sometimes liked to flirt with people because he thrived on making people feel uncomfortable for a second before making them laugh. He definitely was a trickster.

Recently though, Jeonghan didn't see his flirting towards you as just teasing. He was starting to realize he was starting to like you. More than a friend. It took a lot to scare Jeonghan but what scared him the most was you ever finding out about his little secret. If anything, he amplified his flirting with you to try to keep his crush concealed for a little bit longer.

He was sure he would tell you eventually. He just didn't know when.

"I can't help that you are bad at dropping hints. Seriously, y/n. You make it too easy for me!"

You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan's antics. To anyone, they might find his confidence insufferable. However, to you, you found it endearing. Jeonghan was the man who could be silent when he needed to be, especially when encountering new experiences and new people. When he was comfortable and relaxed, he let his true colors shine.

You were just blessed to be one of the lucky ones who got to experience his entire rainbow.

"Okay, let's actually play this time. Honest and fair." "Honest and fair."

I his mind, the gears were turning. Sure, he wanted to win the game but he had an alternative motive. A lot was on the line.

"Have you selected who I am going to guess right?" You asked challengingly.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes playfully but he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Whenever he was around you, he found himself smiling brighter than ever before. You just managed to pull that side out of him oh so easily.

He also has never encountered someone who was maybe just as competitive as he was.

"Yeah, angel. I'm ready to watch you get frustrated. You're really cute when you get flustered, you know? I always love the way your nose scrunches up and you get a bit red in the face." "That doesn't happen,' you lied. "Oh right, it doesn't when it is with anyone else. I guess I just have that effect over you," he snickered.

You could feel your cheeks heating up the more he spoke. It didn't help he was staring you down with that smug grin on his face.

God, why does he have to be so damn attractive?

"Shut up," you muttered. "Let's just play, ok?"

He leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. He was easily amused by how easily he could make you crumble.

One of the very first things that Jeonghan noticed about you was how independent you were. You weren't afraid to call people out on their bullshit, and always felt the freedom to voice your opinion. You weren't the type of person who needed to rely on others to do something.

It was quite the treat to watch you lose your train of thought if he just looked at you. You often forgot what you were going to say the moment Jeonghan said something flirtatious to you. He almost didn't register the possibility of you liking him back until he noticed how you looked away to try to conceal the wide smile on your lips and pink blush coating your cheeks.

The two of you have been doing this waltz around confessing your feelings for a while now. And frankly, Jeonghan was getting tired of playing that game. He wanted something new.

"Pretty ladies first," Jeonghan announced.

There you go again, blushing at his words. It was almost too easy.

"Does your person have facial hair?"

He took a moment to act as if he he had to think about it. You raised an eyebrow, knowing that he was up to something but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Oh come on, Hannie, we just started. There's no way you forgot already who your character is," you teased.

His heart fluttered every time you called him that petname. A lot of people called him Hannie. But when you say it? It was music to his ears. It made him feel all warm and tingly at the prospective of him being exclusively yours and you being all his.

"No, my character doesn't. I was just trying to make you annoyed again," he snickered.

You rolled your eyes but kept a light smile on your lips. Anyone else would be underneath your skin, but he just had this way of finding his antics endearing. Your pointer finger got to work at flipping down the 8 characters you successfully eliminated.

"So, my sweet girl," he began. Oh, here we go. "Does your character have glasses?"

You smirked as he guessed incorrectly. You looked up at him with this look of amusement on your face. Honestly, he has never found you more attractive than when you let your competitive side free. He liked a challenge.

And getting to be your man was his greatest challenge yet.

"No strike, buddy. Better luck next time."

You and Jeonghan continued going back and forth like this for a few rounds. Jeonghan had still had six character cards flipped up, whereas you only had one. You were about to go in for the kill.

"Is your person Charlotte?"

Finally! You beat Jeonghan!

"Oh, I'm sorry. That's incorrect," he smirked.

Your eyes grew wide as they flickered between the game board and Jeonghan. That was impossible. You had literally one character card left. Your eyes narrowed on him as he just sat there with a wide grin on his lips. He had his elbows resting on the table as he watched I amusement.

"You said honest and fair this time," you whined. "And I have been honest! You were asking for my person, and all the things you were asking did not match up with who I selected." "Oh really now? Okay smartass, prove it."

Gladly.

Very slowly, Jeonghan got up to make his way over to you. You raised an eyebrow, but with each step he took towards you, your heart beats faster and harder. What was he doing? You wanted to question him but you were drawn speechless. Again. Only Yoon Jeonghan could make you tongue-tied. It was as if you were glued to your seat too as you watched him make the short journey from his end of the table towards yours.

"I'll describe my person to you. Maybe you accidentally flipped them down."

His voice was now softer, almost deeper. What is going on? All you could do was nod your head, eyes trained on him in anticipation.

"My person also has these eyes that quite literally are like two disco balls. They capture whatever light is reflected into them. I can't even tell you what color their eyes are because I've never see a shade like it before. But it is my favorite color." He had now approached your side the table, leaning against it as he looked down at you. "And just as bright of a smile to match."

You wanted to melt into a puddle before him with how warm and fuzzy he makes you feel by just doing the simplest of things. It wasn't fair.

"My person has long hair. Sometimes they curl it, somewhat they straighten it. Each time though, I want to run my fingers through it."

As he spoke, he lifted on hand to run through your hair. He tucked a few strands behind your ear. His fingertips moved forward until they grazed against your cheek. He didn't miss the opportunity to cup your cheek, keeping your head tilted up towards him so you couldn't look away no matter how badly you got flustered.

"My person also has this infectious laughter that makes me want to know every little joke, every little secret they might have. She also has this adventurous, competitive side of her that is so attractive. I think you two would get along just fine," he winked.

Your lips were slightly parted as you gazed up at him. This had to be a dream, right? There was no way this was actually happening.

"Y/n, you asked for my person. It's been you this whole time," he whispered.

For the first time, he seemed almost at a loss for words. It as if he couldn't believe he actually confessed to you. And now that his feelings were out in the open, he was afraid of the repercussions of being so vulnerable with you. His biggest fear was losing you, and he was afraid he was heading in that direction.

Slowly, you stood up. In fear, Jeonghan removed his hand from your face. Fuck, how can I fix this?

Instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he didn't hesitate to hold your waist. He looked at you with excitement now in eyes, almost like a little boy on Christmas Day. You couldn't help but giggle at how adorable he looked.

"What are you waiting for, Hannie? You've got me where you've always wanted to me," you whispered.

He didn't need to be told twice. Ever so gently, as if you were made out of glass, he pressed his lips against yours. He couldn't fight the smile that grew on his lips. He squeezed your hips affectionately before pulling you in closer. You tilted your head at the right angle to kiss him deeply, without holding back anymore.

The feeling was indescribable. It was a mixture of joy and relief, knowing that years of pining after you finally amounted to this moment. He could really let every emotion, every thought of you free and not just dwell in his mind. And the best part was that it was reciprocated.

You were the one to break the kiss at first but kept your face close to his. You wore a similar goofy smile, just as in disbelief that you kissed not only your best but but the man of your dreams.

"I can't believe you used a board game to confess your feelings to me." "But it looks like I won after all," he smirked.

You rolled your eyes playfully before leaning up to press your lips against his again.

[sanjisprincesswifey]

romance alphabet ⋆ black leg sanji

summary: what it's like to fall in love with sanji

a ⋆ affection; how affectionate is he? how does he show his affection?

very. from the moment you wake up to the second you fall asleep sanji is showering you with his love. he’s always wanting to kiss you and hold you, even small touches are enough for him. he loves holding your hand all the time, interlacing your fingers together and rubbing circles on your skin. 

sanji enjoys praise too. both giving and receiving. he’ll always compliment you, even on the littlest details that you may not even notice yourself. and don’t be shy to praise him too, he’ll become even more gushy the second you do. 

b ⋆ best quality; what's his best quality as a romantic partner and why?

sanji cares about you. he’d put his life on the line for you anytime it be necessary. he would protect you to the ends of the earth even before you begin dating. 

he’s also incredibly genuine with you. he’ll never let you doubt that he loves you. sanji tries his best to be honest from the start and show you how just much of himself he wants to give to you. he wants you to know if there is one thing you can count on, it is his love. 

c ⋆ confession; would he confess his feelings first? if so, how would he confess?

of course he would. but in class sanji fashion, he proclaims he’s in love with you before he actually is. you’ll receive the doting/loving affection from him just as nami and robin do, but it’ll always be a bit…more. it’ll feel more special, more meaningful if you will. your stares last a little longer, his touch hovers a bit more, and you both keep yourself up at night thinking about the other. 

sanji determines to make the moment meaningful, well-thought out to prove how much he truly cares. maybe a candle lit dinner or a picnic on some island, but he’ll ask to get you alone and somehow manages to tell you how he feels without a nosebleed. 

d ⋆ dating;  what is it like to date him? how is he as a romantic partner?

loving sanji is similar to living in luxury. anything that you desire, sanji would provide. had you so chose, you’d never have to lift a finger with sanji around. 

he’d take over your night watch duty even if he had his just last night, he’d hand over his allowance just so you could pick out whatever you’d like at the next island, so on and so forth. 

sanji wants you to know that he’d give you absolutely everything he could; that his love is limitless. 

but like most of his traits, this is one of his biggest weaknesses. sanji doesn’t know how to properly behave as a romantic partner, unaware of the idea that relationships are suppose to be a 50/50 divide.

you will most definitely have to explain this concept to him and show him the reigns. because sanji never learned what proper love or a healthy relationship looks like, he has no idea how to function past giving all he has to you. 

though, if you’re willing to teach him, he’s eager to learn anything with you! 

e ⋆ emotions; how emotional is he with you? does he show his emotions right away or does it take time for him?

there are two answers to these questions. sanji is extremely emotional in the that he’ll cry, be happy, excited, all the basic emotions right off the bat. 

however, he does have some walls built up especially regarding his insecurities and fears. sanji will cry because of how pretty you are or scream his lungs out proclaiming his love for you, that’s a given. but, when it comes to expressing how terrified he is to lose you or you discovering just how broken of a man he is, sanji is extremely closed off. 

sanji doesn’t want you to see how ugly he thinks he is and is terrified that if he shows his real emotions that you’ll come to feel the same way that he feels about himself. 

poor baby boy is so traumatized, he’s a lot to through, but he has good intentions, he promises! 

f ⋆ flirt;  how good is he at flirting? does he flirt well or often?

incredibly! sanji is such a smooth talker, he is aware that he could sweep you off your feet without even meaning to and that is why he’ll flirt with you any chance that he gets. 

g ⋆ gifts; is he a gift giver? what kind of gifts does he enjoy giving you?

you already know the answer to this one. 

most of his gifts are cuisine offerings, which is to be expected. a drink, a special snack, something that is perfectly constructed just for you. it’s always different from nami’s and robin’s helping in some way. maybe different plating, a garnish perhaps, and you think you’re crazy for it, but you swear you could taste the extra amount of love he put into it. 

h ⋆ hugs; does he hug you a lot? what are his hugs like?

you know those videos of a baby animal and their mamas and the baby is clining to the mom? yeah, that’s you and sanji. he’s the baby, of course, and anytime he’s not busy in the kitchen, he has his hands on you. 

his head rests in the nuzzle of your neck, arms tightly snug around your waist and his body weight slugs against yours. the usual heaviness that sanji carries with him is released once he’s in your arms.  the way the calloused pads of his fingertips dig into your skin, he knows your hugs are the only thing keeping him safe, grounded to reality, and he’s letting you know it too. 

sanji’s hugs feel like a sweet release, like a weighted breath he can finally get off his chest. 

i ⋆ i love you; does he tell you that he loves you first?

yes. next question. 

j ⋆ jealousy; does he get jealous a lot? if so, for what specific reason?

see, the thing about sanji is that his jealousy is derived from a place of not feeling good enough, not necessarily his capabilities as a boyfriend. 

he honestly thinks he’s a pretty good boyfriend, he’s confident in that, but the second he sees someone offering you something that he values important in your relationship, he starts to doubt himself. 

most likely, it could be something as small as someone else making you laugh or as big as being offered a drink or food, but it’s not possessiveness that’s driving him, it’s fear. fear of not being enough for you or that you could be offered more by someone else, it’ll definitely make him jealous. 

k ⋆ kisses; what part of you is his favorite to kiss? how often does he enjoy kissing you?

back of the hands, your shoulders, and your lips, obviously. 

sanji tries to kiss you at least once every hour, MINIMUM. he would go out of his way to make sure you’re getting kissed and thoroughly adored every single day. 

l ⋆ love language; what’s his love language?

considering the abuse and torment he has received as a child, sanji responds best to words of affirmation. he responds incredibly well to praise and feels most valued when you’re telling him how good of a boyfriend he is. 

it might be handy to keep one of those gold star sticker sheets with you. 

m ⋆ memories; what memories of you two are the most precious to him? why does he treasure them?

sanji has a plethora of answers to this question, too many to count, not enough hours in the day to explain them all. 

the main ones that come to mind are when he first falls in love with you, when he realizes how much you love him too, and when the moment he knew he wanted to marry you. 

each of these memories remained special, not just because of the general romantic significance, but because of how you made him feel. how each moment felt like the light of hope he had been missing, the warmth after being left out in the rain. 

sanji cherishes these moments so much because you loved him, unconditionally, for who he was and everything that came with him. 

not because he would (and probably has) begged for you to, but because you wanted to. you chose to. you chose him, and all sanji’s ever wanted was for someone to want him the way you do. 

n ⋆  nicknames; what nicknames does he prefer to call you, if any at all?

my love, my swan, darling, mon ange, mon coeur. the french ones are his personal favorites! 

o ⋆ on cloud nine; what is he like when he's in love? how different does he act when he's in love?

physically, his actions don’t seem to differ much from before. he’s loving, doting, obsessed with everything about you just as before, but it feels genuine now. 

he’s not pathetically crying as an act of desperation, he’s telling you how pretty or smart you are because he’s being sincere. 

sanji sees you for your feelings, your brain, your heart instead of your physicality alone. 

but don’t worry, he’ll still appreciate all of you every second he can. 

p ⋆ pda; does he openly express pda? how affectionate is he in public?

sanji most definitely loves pda more than anyone could. 

showering you with affection is his way of thanking the universe for you, showing his appreciation and proving that you are being loved and adored just as you should be. 

being affectionate with you in public is an act of worship. when he kisses the back of your hand or captures your lips in a sweet and swift kiss, he’s simply praising the universe for its most beautiful creation. 

q ⋆ quirks; what are some things you’ve learned about him since being in a relationship?

despite how much he loves having you in the kitchen, he can kind of be a backseat cook. but he’s super nice about it, just a bit critical from time to time. with his sickly sweet tone, you honestly can’t tell though. 

he also can't help but make faces whenever he tastes something that's a bit off. his nose scrunches up, his curly brows furrow and his tongue pokes out from his lips only slightly. he had no idea he even did that until you thought it was cute and pointed it out.

r ⋆ romance; is he a romantic partner? is he cliché or creative?

the first question is rhetorical in his so i don’t even need to answer it. 

but, sanji is a very fine line between cliche and creative, he’s a little of both but in the best way! he’s kind, extremely thoughtful, and makes you feel as if you were in a 90s rom-com. 

s ⋆ smooch; what was your first kiss like? where did it happen and was it planned?

your first kiss with sanji happened after he first asked you to be his. it was a quick, eager kiss that was pure adrenaline; when he heard you agree to date him, the excitement was too much to bear and he just had to kiss you. 

after he realizes what he did, he’ll apologize profusely and say something along the lines of you deserving better. he’s a pretty good kisser though so you don’t mind it either way. 

t ⋆ true love; does he believe you were destined to be together?

of course, he does, but he’d honestly say that about anyone he was dating...

u ⋆ ultimatum; what is a dealbreaker in his relationship?

for a long, fruitful relationship, sanji needs you to genuinely care about him. the only dealbreaker he could ever think of is if you don’t and that is all. 

he doesn’t like himself enough to turn anyone who was willing to be with him away. sad, i know. 

v ⋆ value; how important is the relationship to him? what is it worth in comparison to other things in his life?

your relationship is so incredibly important to sanji that it’s just about equal with being the strawhats cook. 

w ⋆ wild card; a random relationship headcanon!

sanji is one of those boyfriends who likes to celebrate the silly anniversary dates. it could be by month; first month, second month, etc. or by event. so like anniversary of your first date, first kiss, first i love you, that sort of thing. 

he also would offer to put his jacket on top of a puddle for you after it rained, though you deem the idea ridiculous and would gladly just step around it. 

has a 10 step skincare routine and loves when you join him. 

x ⋆ x-factor; what drew him to you?

in classic sanji fashion, he began worshipping you the second he knew you. you’re pretty and that was enough in the beginning. 

but what drew his feelings beyond his basic affection was how compassionate you are. you cared for the whole crew the second you joined the strawhats, but the attention you gave him was definitely the icing on top of the cake. 

you always offered to help him wash dishes after meals, asked about his day, and listened to his stories about his mom even when it wasn’t warranted. you were genuinely interested in knowing who sanji was, not seeking mindless gab to pass the time, and that is what had sanji falling for you before he even knew it. 

y ⋆ yearning; when does he find himself missing you?

every second you aren’t together, sanji misses you. the air always feels cold, a distant chill that nips at his skin until your return.

he hates it and he knows that if he didn’t spend so much time with you, it wouldn’t hurt as bad when you were gone. but he’d be a fool to stop spending every second he could with you, he just loves you too much. 

z ⋆ zzz; what is his favorite sleeping position? is he the big spoon or the little spoon?

sanji loves the front to front sleeping position, he loves holding you while also being able to see your face. 

when he has the occasional nightmare, it’s comforting to not only be holding you but being able to see your face brings him back to reality. your relaxed features always soothe him, letting him know that he’s okay without any verbal confirmation. 

on the occasion that either of you do want to spoon, sanji doesn’t have a preference of being the big or little spoon. you both take an equal role, it simply depends on the day. 

ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ like this post? request other characters now :)

[n3ptoonz]

Hi I’m a bit embarrassed to say this lol, that’s why I’m anonymous. Can you please write headcanons for Bi Han, Liu Lang, Geras, Tomas and Raiden with someone who uh, really really likes to suck their cockk 🫣

😳

i sure as hell can anon🫦

Sub-Zero

knowing bi han stubborn ass he's gonna claim it gets in the way whenever you ask more often than not, but as soon as he picks up on your fixation...you can literally do no wrong

most times he takes control, other times the dome is so overwhelmingly good he grunts constantly and gets lightheaded, but don't tell nobody 🤫

you'd be surprised with the amount of praise he gives you. it would even go to point of him noticing differences and similarities between present and past with how skilled you were. leave it up to him to make everything into fighting terms (he doesn't know how to express his emotions give him a moment😹)

Liu Kang

at a loss for words tbh. he knew you loved getting intimate with him but specifically giving him oral caught him off guard. this is only bc he's used to being dominant and making sure your pleasure comes first that he's like woah, you're quite eager there 😲

he wouldn't be one to deny you though. in a way he's still prioritizing your pleasure since you are indeed receiving it from giving him head, and was not one to ever complain!

he's not one to have or show his ego, but damn, the lewd sounds that come from your mouth and the sight of you clearly enjoying yourself does make him feel like the luckiest god there is. to have you all to himself in this portion of his lifetime is the absolute highlight and he'll never forget it

Geras

ik geras isn't some giant monster man but he absolutely has a giant monster co-

you can barely even reach past the middle, and you want to keep doing that? okay, he thinks, by all means do what makes you both happy in the end

secretly worried for your jaws and sometimes your throat. he's gonna keep asking if you're okay and would prob be very confused/concerned if tears started falling from trying to take all of him. you gotta explain it's all part of the process and you enjoy it. he might not ever understand everything about mortals, but he sure loves the pleasure while he learns

Smoke

i 1000% believe that tomas is super sensitive around his dick. like, regular sex is already one thing. but...superb head from you? he MIGHT just die

theoretically speaking you wouldn't be able to pin him down while you suck him off but a girl can dream, let's throw logic out the window real quick. he'd lose his fucking mind and start muttering praises in czech

he does prefer to pleasure you BUT who would he be to say no to you?? he gets bomb head on a regular basis and a hot partner to do it. he wouldn't even have time to ask you for it because you keep telling him you will/you want to. if you really bout it, you'll discover he'd definitely be into getting oral in a secluded public space like the bathroom or training room

Raiden

like i always say, he may come off as a shy cutie (which he is) BUT when that dark side comes out it's over

i feel like he's a switch. so, whenever you ask if you can do a lil vacuum action it always starts the same way, but never ends the same way

it starts with him shyly agreeing letting you do your thing then bam, he either starts pushing your head down more and makes you go at the pace he wants OR you're just too good and make him squirm, buck, whine, and tremble. it's always a gamble but hey, i like these odds, don't you? you two equally go back and forth with pleasuring each other and he even worries he'd get selfish but like who cares mf im tryna hear you 😮‍💨

[ghoulsbounty]

which of the goggins gang do you think prefers to be praised and which do you think like to be degraded?

oh, boy! i could go on about this for days...

baby billy

strongly prefers praise in a relationship. often feels undervalued by his family which has left him with a deep-seated need for constant affirmation. his bravado is a front for how inadequate he truly feels, so he needs you to recognise and celebrate his talents and achievements, and give him the validation he craves. 

loves to be adored. growing up in the spotlight spoiled him with the amount of love he received, but now that doesn't come as easy to him. let him know how enamoured you are with him through words of affirmation or touch, and he will be content for a while.

it's less about reassurance and more about confirmation for what he believes to be true; that even at his age, he is the best. let him know how good he makes you feel, especially in comparison to men younger than him.

there is a part of him that finds playful degradation exciting, but only in the bedroom. he sometimes enjoys light teasing and role-playing that still makes him feel in control without crossing into genuinely hurtful territory.

he prefers when the degradation presents him a challenge, rather than attacking his character. call him an old man and ask if he can keep up with you, it will ignite his need to prove himself and he won't stop until you're singing his praises as you cum.

bonus: cock worship. do it and he will keep you around forever.

boyd crowder 

although he craves validation, degradation feels more familiar and almost comforting in its predictability. however, he has developed a thick skin from the years of disrespect and neglect growing up, especially from his father, and he doesn't take kindly to degrading words against his character.

initially finds it difficult to accept praise from you, he's so used to betrayal and often questions the sincerity behind your compliments.

eventually learns to accept that you value him for the man that he is. acknowledge his intelligence and his strategic mind, or tell him that he makes you feel safe, and he will be putty in your hands.

he craves loyalty and adoration from you. he strives to be a protector while also using your presence to challenge himself into being a better man. praising him makes him feel desired and capable of being the man you deserve.

only wants to do right by you and would never even raise his voice, but if you decided to degrade him (past the point of teasing banter) he'd tear you down with a calculated, calm voice until you're apologising and on your knees for him.

bonus: body worship. he can do this for hours, please let him.

lee russell

both his upbringing and career have been marked by a fear of inadequacy. he thrives on compliments and positive reinforcement to bolster his fragile ego. 

degradation is extremely damaging for him. any negative remarks or criticism, no matter how small, is enough to trigger his defensive behaviour and lead to an explosive outcome. 

however, in the bedroom he does like to experiment in light degradation as long as it is accompanied by praise or rewards. lee is a brat and will fight for dominance, but if you manage to get him to submit, he enjoys if you deny him or make him beg.

tell him that he's big and makes you feel full, or alternatively you can tell him that you can't feel enough of him and he will fuck you harder just to prove a point.

don't push it too far though, because lee has little patience and a lot of rage. too many comments about his pathetic whimpers and needy attitude will spill over into him taking back control and delivering a punishment.

he feels more at ease knowing that you can dish out tough love when the moment calls for it as that aligns with his understanding of a relationship, but you best follow it with a tender kiss.

bonus: power play and brat taming kink. lee can be a pushy bottom.

wade felton

having been through the emotional turmoil of losing his spouse, along with navigating the difficult world of dating, wade deeply craves affirmation and positive reinforcement from you.

he values open communication and mutual respect, and he thrives in a relationship where love and appreciation are openly expressed.

confident in the bedroom and believes in his ability to please, but likes you to tell him your thoughts and feelings. give him verbal instructions on how you want to be pleased and he will do so diligently.

praise is something that makes him a little flustered at first, but he finds himself purposely trying to coax more from you. tell him how attractive he is, how good he makes you feel, and he will be a whimpering, eager mess.

while he might be open to playful banter or light teasing, any form of degradation would likely make him uncomfortable. the same goes for if you ask him to degrade you.

bonus: soft and vanilla. will eat you out for hours, tell him he's doing good.

cooper howard/the ghoul

his transformation into a ghoul has left him with deep insecurities about his appearance and worth, although he refuses to acknowledge it. because of this, it will take him a long time to feel comfortable enough to let you see him naked, if he ever even does. compliments and affirmations will help in moving this along, but he won't ever truly believe that you could see past the ghoulification, and too much praise will seem forced to him.

in the bedroom, cooper’s needs are complex. his intimate desires involve a form of degradation that aligns with his deep-seated insecurities. when he fucks you, he enjoys pushing with a combination of pointed remarks and well-timed thrusts until he teases cruel words from your reluctant lips.

he wants to hear you admit to feeling ashamed for letting him, a ghoul, be inside you. he needs to hear your disgust at the thought of him filling you, even though you don't genuinely believe it and will keen when you feel his release coat your walls. it gives him a sense of control and a twisted validation in hearing you demean both yourself and him, because he can't quite believe that you want him.

he knows your words are drawn out by his actions rather than your own feelings, but it allows him to explore his deepest vulnerabilities while simultaneously feeling safe knowing that you are there, reacting to every touch. 

it gives an emotional release that he doesn't allow himself otherwise, and for a short while after he will let you shower him with affection until he closes himself off again.

bonus: self-denial. won't cum until you give him what he wants to hear.

taglist:

@its-in-the-woods @lolaalee @megangovier @coolranchdavidian @justme12200

@ivyinthesun @ladygreylavender11 @crowley--aziraphale @its-a-show-stoppin-number

@muschimuschi @serrantsaloto @catclaw1 @staarboyyy @shinydixon

@spookysquids @inthemercifuldark @itsyellow @caspersshadow @honey-tree-evil-eye

[foressfaction]

Warning: mentions of s*icide and other topics that could be triggering

“My trust in you is like a dog with a broken leg”

Time to yap

Can we just talk about how I think if Toby ever got caught and arrested by the police that he would straight up just let them. His life is so shit and aside from maybe in AUs where he lives with his work partners (Tim and Brian) or with Jack, that he is practically homeless and has been barely scrapping by. Lets just say even in one of those AUs he’d surrender due to pure panic cause being held at gun point would probably freak bro the fuck out and he’d have no possible choice. Now of course he’d put up a good chase but maybe in a situation the authorities just run into him. He’d just let it happen.

I’d feel the police would know who he is even after the years. I don’t think he’d look much different other than the changes that are inevitable. I feel they’d be gentle. Though yes. He killed people, has weapons. But by then they learned the story, I just think they’d be gentle. He would have a look of pure fear for once other than what goes on in his head. All he knows is fear, anger, guilt. I think that would be very prominent in his arrest.

He doesn’t know his rights, he doesn’t know how to comply, just lets his body be escorted and almost dragged away into what ever vehicle they would transport him.

In court his mom who still lived would face him for the first time in years after thinking both of her kids were dead. What she saw of her brutally murdered ex husbands body still haunted her. And probably wouldn’t leave her mind upon first glance at her son. She sees him as a killer, but certainly not a monster. Tears would stream but her face would stay blank. Her black mascara running down her pale skin.

Her hair has grown longer and put up in a neat bun, some loose strands from the family’s genetic frizzy hair.

She’d lay eyes on her son that had gone missing all those years ago after such a traumatic event. She knew him better than anyone.

But Toby… he wouldn’t even know who she is. He would have this gut wrenching feeling something was off, everytime he would look at her, like he was supose to know something, feel something. But nothing.

I feel like the court would consist of questions, ones that would only be answered by the sweet sound of silence and head tilt downwards. Obviously he didn’t remember his past. But they would ask so much about it. About Lyra, about the fire, his home life. They probably would mention that his mom is in the room, and ask what she thinks.

She wouldn’t respond sometimes, still in complete numbness and shock that her son was not only alive, but had been homeless and taking more lives of the innocent. At first it was a case of escaping abuse, but there was something far more sinister going on as well.

He looks so much older than what she remembers. So worn out looking and exhausted. His eyes were so dark. She’d recall. So lifeless. Deep down she loved him dearly and wanted nothing bad to happen to him. But that was not up to her. He was a murderer.

I feel there would be a moment where they’d touch hands. He would be shaken up, just like when he was little. But he was so different at the same time. To him this was just some ordinary woman. She also looked so different. He wouldn’t even be able to form words, as that feeling of belonging forced itself to so badly be seen.

Connie would watch her son die. Not by body, but by soul. As he would be sentenced to life in a phych ward. Where there he would be treated like a dog at a pound, a prisoner of multiple first degree murder charges. Including the one of his father.

And in that cell block, behind those bars. He would slowly but surely lose his mind and become inhuman, unresponsive. A living life sized dog that would snap at any hand.

There however, he considered himself free. Even if the torture of the facility progressed, the Operator couldn’t reach him here. A feeling he longed for. But was it really worth it.

Toby dies in this place at the age of 31 due to starving himself as a form of s*uicide. His grief practically killed him and the staff let it happen.

It was all rumored to have been on purpose but it’s still a mystery on what happened to him those years ago. The answer would be unbelievable to most. Which is why he ended up here in the first place. He is so unbelievably ill.