#he just prefers being able to monologue and fight back when he is

[asteraegis]

haha was in a... silly kind of mood. howlen in warriors orochi naotora li's deity outfit, hien ass up, and uh *reading smudged handwriting* oh zenos torture porn whoops.

thanks howlen for censoring. two versions of the zenos thing in case you understandably are a normal person and dont want your baby girl beat up. alt text available, may be helpful to read before enhancing on the last image.

[queenhunter102]

PART 14

Part 13 Part 15

Okay, Slight content warning: Our lovely reader gets attacked, and there is talk of SA (BUT IT NEVER HAPPENS, just more like a villain monologue of what they want to do to our poor Venom), plus Fighting.

You and the boys spent the better half of two weeks on base with no mission to complete, not that you minded; it meant that you could settle in without being gone from your heaven for too long.

Which was always preferable, but you could see the tension start to wear the team out; you knew that alphas need a few things in life to be able to function: 1) have an Omega, 2) have some form of pack relation, and 3) they needed to relieve their aggression.

 Now, here you were, running around the training field as you dodged every swing, kick, and punch, jumped over stray limbs, and deflected blades.

 You yelp when a strong hand pulls you down to the floor, the left side of your body taking the brunt of the fall; you start kicking wildly at the hand that drags you through the slough of bodies that fought over you.

 You pause mid-kick. As a whistle blows, the hand lets go before the bodies over you pull apart, letting you roll onto your back comfortably.

 “Damn Venom, any need to try and break m’a wrist” came the gruff voice. You saw Simon gently rubbing his wrist from your repeated stomping. “I’d rather take their stomps over your punches” That came from Gaz rubbing his jaw.

 “Alright, Alright, you little fucks, shower and hit Medbay; I don’t need Doc giving me a lecture,” John said as he helped you up, you grunted as you twisted yourself side to side, trying to relieve some pressure off your back.

 The boys collectively groaned. “Oh, come on, Cap. Do we HAVE to go see Doc?” Johnny said as he threw one arm over your shoulder, leaning onto you. John only lifted a brow before Johnny grunted and pulled you towards the showers.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You sigh as you walk out of the shower, gently rubbing your face from the water; as you stumble your way to the sink, ready to brush your hair, you wipe the mirror with your towel, rubbing away the steam from the shower when you pause…

 Seeing a flash of black flitter behind you, your eyes scanning the mirror and the contents of the background, all that stood behind you were lockers and not big ones either, small lockers you would find in a gym big enough to hold your essentials and nothing more.

 Look yourself in the eyes. “It’s nothing. Captain Wells wouldn’t be stupid enough to try you in the bathroom,” you mutter to yourself as you gently try and dry off the ends of your hair in the towel before you hear it…

 Soft, light, and gentle breathing, like they were trying hard not to be seen, but it was there, and most definitely male. You continued to dry your hair, letting your eyes lazily scan the bathroom again, trying to identify where the breathing was coming from.

 When you finished with your hair, you brushed and pulled it back, letting the towel around your shoulders, before walking over to the lockers and pulling out your clothes; you quickly pulled your underwear and trousers on before you heard it…

 Something dropping down, you froze a little, keeping your back to the sound, letting whoever it was thought that they had the drop on you; before you reached into your locker again, reaching for your gun, you felt something hard Press into the back of your head, cold and solid.

 “Put your hands up, Knot-Tease,” the voice said. You slowly raised your hands, “A-Alright, there’s no need to get violent”, you say, trying to figure out who held you at gunpoint, “I am so sick and tired of your slick holes and your rights”, he growled, as he gripped your wrists and dragged you away from the lockers.

You kick and scream, only for it to be cut off by a sharp, painful hit to the head. “Oh shut up, I want my fine first before you lose”, he says as he pulls you to the showers. You reel back from the pain as you try and turn your head up to your attacker, your NBOC Captain’s words ringing in your ears. ‘If you can’t see your face, you will likely see the next sunrise’ You barely catch a glimpse, but you make it out to be Jenson.

 You try and wriggle your way out of his grip, but the attempt is followed by a swift hit to the back of your head, your vision suddenly going dark.

You gasp back into reality when cold water hits your face, your vision is blurry, and your eyes seem to be sensitive to the light as you roll away from the attacker on the cold, hard tile, only to find Jenson smiling down at you.

“Now, aren’t you a sweet little thing? I wonder what your slick hole will feel like,” he says as he drops down into a crouching position in front of you, “Hmm…I always wonder if prissy fuckers like you are even pure,” He says as he reaches his hand out towards you, only to be rewarded by you snapping your teeth at his fingers. He growled as he snapped his hand back.

He was quick to hit the button on the shower, spraying you with the same cold water that shocked you awake “Listen here, you slicker, You're going to take me like the fucker you are, and maybe, just maybe, I won’t pass you around, to my friends” he says, as he gives you a sharp kick to your stomach.

He laughed as his hands went to your wet trousers, pulling at the buttons only for him to be ripped away and a growl so loud you thought it was going shake the tiles loose.

So, credits for some of the insults go to pack-the-pack: this post.

TAGLIST: @astro-ghoul9, @prettykinkysoul, @ssc7514

(If you want to be a part of my tag list, check HERE for specifics)

[doodlegirl1998]

This is pretty much my reaction to the BNHA 430 leaks.

Following that, I don't actually hate the idea of Izuku becoming a teacher to inspire the next generation but the way Hori and the other writers go about it is poorly executed (what a SHOCKER, am I right?). It feels so forced to make Izuku all sad and lonely that he can't be a hero anymore. But like...there are examples of characters who either have weak Quirks or Quirks they can't rely heavily on and they can fight.

Aizawa-This discount version Kakashi and Kalego (from Iruma) can fight off villains and Nomus with his magic scarf even when he can't erase their Quirks.

Little Aizawa Jr. (aka: Shinso)-The only student that Aizawa took the effort to train properly because we all know Shinso before that, he relied heavily on his Quirk. After a few months, he can use the magic cloth just like Aizawa.

Stain-Yeah, he's technically a villain but the point still stands due to his reputation of killing several Pro Heroes. His Quirk allows him to temporarily paralyze enemies by licking their blood but you know, you gotta be able to fight to even do that.

Himiko Toga-Another villain but still worth mentioning, this discount Mystique can only transform into a person physically by drinking their blood (only able to copy the Quirks of those she has a strong connection with) but she is shown to be good at knife combat, being able to beat a Pro Hero (though we don't know how strong Rock Lock really is).

There's probably more but the biggest one I'd like to mention is known other than Knuckleduster. He is literally in the same position as Izuku (having lost his Quirk) but he still remains a hero despite this, his sense of justice not wavering. Heck, KD is basically what Izuku should've been, both in the beginning and in this epilogue (just not as violent and tactical).

Just imagine seeing adult Izuku (an ACTUAL adult-looking Izuku) in class teaching his students and encouraging Dai and after the day is done, we see him in a new costume fighting some petty criminals off the streets. He then monologues (INTROSPECTIVE, a word the writers kinda forgot about for Izuku), saying that despite losing his Quirk, his drive to help people has not gone. He's continued to work out, gaining about 5-12% Full Cowl levels of strength as well as support gear from Mei (honestly, I'd rather see these two together over Ochako. Or even Melissa. They would have Izuku's back far more than his classmates).

Hi @ultimateemerl 👋

That was my reaction to the final chapter too.

Also I agree, I would have loved to have seen Izuku as a Knuckleduster-esque hero (using support gear from Mei and Melissa' support Industries) doing teaching alongside this to show that even after losing OFA, he can be a hero.

Having Izuku waiting on All Might (and Bakugou 🤢) to save the day with the Iron Izuku suit felt OOC and forced. At the beginning of MHA, Izuku would have found a way to act as a hero himself rather than wait on outside help.

Speaking of that, how and why did none of Class 1A act to help Izuku during this time? Especially when Momo, Iida, and Shoto have the funds to do so, and Momo has her creation quirk?

How did Izuku seriously get left in the dust for six years by his classmates and friends (aside from the odd text) because they're "so busy" when now there's a bloating of heroes and a decrease in villains? I sense some fake friends who left Izuku in the dust as soon as he could be of no further use to them.

So yes, I would also prefer to see Izuku working with Mei and Melissa over Class 1A as a collective at this point.

[tobiasdrake]

Beyond the necessary inclusion of the original 1984-1995 Dragon Ball manga, "canon" is whatever you want. The "whatever Toriyama worked on" criteria doesn't really work, because he's had at least a small hand in the conception and story of basically everything.

Nowadays, people act like Super is somehow the "oNe TrUe CaNoN" continuation and all that matters anymore, even though there's two separate versions of Super that can't even jive with each other. What's more, that same "Super is everything" crowd also can't even decide which of those two versions is the more important or "canon-est" one — a few years back you'd more likely see claims that it's the anime, since it was the original product and the manga simply served to promote it, but now you'll see more claims that it's the manga, just because it's the only version left.

Which should all go to show just how much of a ridiculous and self-contradictory mess this whole topic is, and why any given person is better off just not buying into it. Just take the original manga as your starting point and go in whatever direction you prefer from there.

The concept of canon is actually really important when doing critical analysis, part of which depends on understanding the choices being made, what they represent from a creative perspective, and what they lend to the story. It's important to be able to identify what was part of the creator's original vision, what the creator came up with years later and bolted on after the fact, what was added by other creatives, what was interpreted by other creatives, etc.

To draw a fairly extreme example, let's talk about Bulma's ki-sensing abilities.

In a filler arc of the Z anime, Captain Ginyu takes control of Bulma's body and rides a motorcycle over to spectate on Goku and Frieza's fight - While also seeking to take over a stronger body.

During the American dub, Ginyu's inner monologue celebrates that being in Bulma's body has granted him the ability to sense ki.

Ginyu: This is strange! In this body, I can clearly sense the intensity of each of their power levels!

However, much later in the series, we have Vegeta and Trunks fighting Cell. Bulma needs Piccolo and Tenshinhan to explain to her what's going on.

Well, that's a little strange, isn't it? Why would Bulma need Piccolo to explain what's going on to her? Why can't she just use her own ki-sensing and figure it out for herself?

Is this a plot hole?

Well. No. Obviously not. The reason Bulma can't use her own ki-sensing is because Bulma can't sense ki. That was a line from a localized dub of a filler arc of an adaptation of the original source material. It's three stages removed from original canon. Obviously it has no bearing on the core plot of Dragon Ball, which was written long before it even existed.

With regard to Dragon Ball Super, things are... dicey there. The way Super works is that both and neither are the true canon. Super was created by way of Akira Toriyama writing out a story outline for what he wanted, then separately delivering those notes to Toei Animation and to mangaka Toyotarou, each of whom fleshed out those notes into a complete story by applying their own creative vision.

So it's a weird situation where there isn't really a true canon to Super because both versions of the story are separate creators' adaptational interpretation of the same outline. The Super anime, of course, was made by the studio that made the Z anime so it borrows a lot of elements that Toei created for their version of Dragon Ball. The manga version does not, but it does feel subtly off because Toyotarou's interpretations of the characters don't always mesh well with the original story.

[firstpersonnarrator]

I was actually able to see him in both Withnail and Reunion. Funnily enough, I preferred the latter, even though he has much more to do in the first one.

He was expectedly insane as Withnail, strutting around the stage with like this slightly backward bend at all times, like he was a Regency portrait come to life. He even did some stage sword fighting which had me concerned because he did it right handed and I have a feeling he can be a bit clumsy, but no eyes were taken out on the day I saw it (which was their last day of performances and also the day of the Birmingham Pride Parade, somewhat fitting for the slightly queer undertones of the story). It was a fun and funny play, definitely a bit dated, with an ending that has Rob do a very emotional Hamlet monologue. Because it was the matinee performance I had time to wait at the stage door afterward and met some of the cast which was great. (Rob was still somewhat in character, which was hilarious given Withnail's stilted accent, but I digress.) This couple I met said they'd been waiting at the stage door before the performance and Rob showed up basically running for the door shouting apologies at them because he was late for his call time and couldn't stop for a chat. 😂 He did remember the couple and apologised again, it was all very sweet. (I think he had been busy packing up because he went back to Ireland immediately after Withnail to start rehearsals for Reunion.)

Anyway, I couldn't go to Galway but managed to catch Reunion in October in Dublin. That play is a very different beast - a whole bunch of actors where Withnail has just three principals, and the setting is just one room in a house on an island. The set was amazing, the cast superb, and the story took you all over the place emotionally. Despite being an ensemble cast, Rob still got his time to shine as the mother's favourite of her three children, although most of the humour in this one comes from a different character. Contrary to his usual characters, Rob gave a very grounded performance in this one, which was a nice change of pace. He had a very emotionally charged scene with the actress playing his girlfriend since there is no world in which Rob doesn't get to show of his acting range, even with limited stage presence. The play definitely sticks with you.

(I also saw Rob in Endgame a few years ago. He did some great physical work in that one, poor guy was sweating buckets by the end of it.)

I cannot express how jealous I am. Words fail me.

Except these: I cannot believe you got to see all three plays. That’s just- I can’t even. I mean, what??? [More babbling ensues ajfhfhjfjfhshajs]

Thank you so much for this. I feel like I got to live through you a bit. To hear your take on the differences in roles and his portrayal of them really put me there.

I got to see Endgame streaming (twice bc I’m an idiot and thought they’d be two different performances, but I don’t regret seeing the same performance twice at all. Like not even a little.)

What an amazing performance by Rob and Frankie Boyle. When you say it was a physical role for Rob, there can be no exaggeration. That was insane. And imagining what it would be like to never sit down or lay down. Man, that just made everything seem that much more bleak. I loved the play’s darkness and inevitable ending, but with humor that engenders sympathy somehow, even for Frankie Boyle’s character. I’d never seen Beckett before, and now I would run to see anything by him I could find.

I’m glad Rob got to stretch his wings with Reunion. I believe he is a truly fine actor, and to get to see that in person must have made the heart race a bit. Meanwhile, I have loved Withnail and I, the film, since I was a kid. I literally rejoiced when I found out they were staging it, first of all, and then freaked out about Rob being the one to originate the role. I screamed. Like, out loud irl.

Thanks for sharing. Appreciate you and this so much.

[blumenflowergelb]

Life and death of Yn Stark

• The second son of Ned Stark and Catelyn Tully Stark was born exactly two months after Sansa. Catelyn was in the nursery after putting Sansa to sleep, trying to sew a new little gown for her only daughter. The first pain went entirely unnoticed but by the time she was done with pinning, her lower belly cramped worse than when she was on her moonblood. It took her a while to stand up and she was not able to walk to the door without moaning in a great pain. Catelyn cried out and aroused one of the nursemaid coming to check on Sansa. Before she noticed what was happening, Maester Luwin was already there kneeling next to her. Barely, just barely, Catelyn told Luwin where her pain was. She felt hands helping her up but the pain was so enormous that she could only cry. The baby boy wasn’t born in the birthing chamber, instead in Luwin’s office. Ned has went to hunt having two boys and a girl and by the time he came back he had gained a new son.

• Yn Stark whole existence was a mystery to everybody. Luwin sent her theory about Catelyn having two wombs to the Citadel and it was discussed for a very long time. Nevertheless Yn was an intrigue. He grow up in a loving home with a lot of blood siblings and one bastard brother. His father even had a ward, however to Yn great disappointment Theon Greyjoy was not a very likable person. As charming he could be, he was as mean, especially to Jon. Yn loved Jon, and his other siblings too!, but Jon had a special place in his heart. He was the one who helped him with archery and sword fighting, and he didn’t laugh when Yn looked away from the beheading of a rapist.

• While Yn had a good childhood it didn’t come without a few issues. His father, Ned Stark, was a good man and a good father but he was as cold as ice. In the important moments of Yn‘s life he was present but Yn never felt like he could lean on him. And Sansa and Yn‘s mother didn’t make his life easier. Sansa, the everyday lady who didn’t know jokes, his mother who was very stern. Robb didn’t play with Yn anymore but he had Arya and Bran! Rickon was a little baby so he only ran after them but Yn still loved him. One thing however made Yn feel different. The knowledge that he was different wasn’t there until the day at the table. Sansa and her friend ,Jeyne, were discussing their future wedding, husbands and children. When Sansa smiled at Yn and asked him whom he would marry Yn didn’t hesitate. Loudly he exclaimed that he will be marrying a man with blond hair and blue eyes, since it was so rare in the North. Before Yn could explain more what the personality of his intended would be, Sansa clapped her hands on her mouth and looked at him. Jeyne could barely suppress her laughter but when his father slammed his cup on the table everybody has gone silent. He never did that.

• Well as you would expect Yn‘s parent weren’t happy. His sibling didn’t meet his eyes, they just looked at the table while quietly eating. However Catelyn wasn’t quiet. After Ned has sternly told Yn to never say something so inhumane his mother went on a long monologue about men who prefered men and the gods and their seven hells. As intended this scared Yn. He never again talked about boys in this way but he never forgot the feeling of being watched by the son of the smith or by one of the servants. Just simply talking to them made Yn blush and stammer, so he tried to never be in the proximity of boys. This left Yn feeling closed off to his family and to strangers. By the time Yn was nine namedays old he vowed to never again say or have any kind of reaction toward his own sex. Or he would end up dead and tortured in hell.

• Yn was roughly eleven years old when the King came, Bran fell of the tower and he, his father, his sisters and several other knights of Winterfell left for Kings Landing. By the time they were meeting up with Renly Baratheon, the very good looking brother of the very fat King, Yn already detested Joffrey and his mother. The hatred went through the roof after Joffrey was bitten by Nymaria and Lady was killed. Arya was kind enough to not only drive Nymaria away but Lemon Cake , the wolf of Yn, too. Sansa didn’t speak with anybody only if necessary and even then she was cruel to them. Well not to everybody but only to Arya and Yn. They arrived at Kings Landing already full with problems but everything has just gotten worse. The only thing that Yn liked about the place was Loras Tyrell! He was not only very good looking but a skilled swordsman too. Yn just couldn’t help himself but gravitate towards him. Ned of course, didn’t take this the wrong way but he didn’t like it either. By the time Ned sent out his men to take Ser Cregors head, Yn has broken his vow. Barely twelf namedays of age Yn kissed the first person ever. And it was not a girl.

• Qarl, a cook’s son with black hair and blue eyes, was very very charming. After playing in secret for a few weeks they went to the godswood withouth the hearttree. As they were playing Qarls has fallen over laughing and in this moment hundreds of butterflies went up in Yn stomach. Before he could stopp himself he leaned over Qarl and pressed his lips against his. They never played again. Yn was distraught and even considered telling his father of what had happened, but the memories of his father’s belittling words of Yn‘s kind made him not do it. But even if he wanted to he didn’t had time. By the next day Lannister guards broke in his room and took him down to the dungeons. Yn didn’t understand what was going on and his questions went unanswered. Unknowingly to him his father was in the throne room with his enemies, Sansa in her room and Arya with her dance teacher. In less than a day Yn has lost half of his family.

• He was in there for a whole year. The first few days, maybe weeks, were horrible with no knowledge of what was going on behind the four walls, and with no sunlight Yn was prone to tears, the worry eating his heart away. YN didn’t know anything about the world, only that his father was a supposed Ursuper and his sisters were kept captive above him. Something must have happened, Yn concluded, when one day he heard unusual voices in the hallway. Then his door opened and two guards came inside. For a second Yn thought that he was freed but looking at the smiles of the guards hauling him and a man in robe, his heart dropped to his stomach. He went from the lightened hallway to a dark room. But it wasn’t dark forever. Yn quickly learned that it was better when he was in the dark because if the light came than the pain would follow it too. He would habe gone insane if it wasn’t for Lemon Cake. Day and Night he went inside the mind of Cake, seeing, smelling and hearing the world. At one point he left caught the smell of Greywind and they reconciled among a lot of Direwolf kisses. The best part was seeing his brother.

• After or maybe while Yn was tortured, he went inside Cake‘s mind. In truth Yn never got used to the feeling of leaving the human body and arriving in the wolf but it was a good way to escape the burning. He smelled the wet leaves and ground mixing with a light smell of blood and humans. After sniffing and running around, Lemon caught the smell of Greywind. He smelt like family and before Yn could think he was sprinting towards him. He let out a big howl to announce his existence, and Greywind answered. The more he smelled family the quicker he ran and ran until seeing the sprinting form of Greywind. The two brothers has fallen over in their excitement and were nipping at each other when Robb and his men arrived. Yn has sworn to never forget the face of his brother, full with happiness, grief and eventual disappointment. Looking around, Robb jumped from his horse and hugged Lemon Cake quietly asking where Yn was. Lemon just simply gave him a slobbering kiss and begann to groom Greywind. Before Yn could think of how to express his self through Lemon Cake he was brought back by a harsh lash across his back. Yn cried out and got rewarded with an ever strong hit. After some more torture and a very blurry feeding time he tried to sleep and go inside Cake. He wanted to hug his brother, kiss his mother and reassure her that everything was alright even if it wasn’t. Alas Yn never could warg inside Lemon Cake to see her family, because of the King.

• One day Joffrey Baratheon, the first of his name, has took his sweet time and came down to take a look at his prisoner. And Yn was rewarded with his presence. The physical torture was one thing but a kid playing King daunting him, telling him how he will kill all the Stark‘s, promising to bring the head of his brother, the false King, and the rape of his sisters made Yn angry. Angry in a place where only servitude was appropriate and had it’s consequences. After Joffrey spat out how he was going to strip Sansa, beat her up and leave her to be raped in Fleat Bottom, Yn became so furious that he jumped on Joffrey. Or he wished but being chained, tortured and undernourished left Yn weak. But it was enough to bite a finger off of Joffrey. Yn firstly felt Joffrey‘s blood and quickly tasted his own. Before passing out Yn only heard Joffrey crying and men shouting.

• Cleos Frey was the ulucky man to not only bring the peace demands by the Lannisters but a wooden box. The two direwolf made him almost piss his breaches and the looks of the Northernmen was enough for him to fall before Robb Stark‘s foot. Before telling the demands he took a small wooden box out, small but still big enough to held the head of Yn Stark.

[youwouldntlietopapa]

Touch Starved - Ch.1

Secondo swallows his pride and apologises. Now he needs to navigate unfamiliar waters and his own emotions.

Includes: minor hurt/comfort, developing relationship, boundaries, conversation, couch cuddles

(Okay so this is really a spin-off of Peace and Quiet text conversation. Mostly because I wanted to see the conclusion of that played out. And also to explore more of Secondo's inner monologue, his feelings, and his need for genuine affection, gentleness and care.)

Also available on AO3

_____________________________________________________________

O: Give me 20 mins

S: I’ll be waiting, Tesoro.

...........

Secondo set his phone on the coffee table and tipped back the last of his drink. Twenty minutes felt like both no time at all and an eternity. He pushed himself up off the couch and walked over to the liquor cabinet, refreshing his own glass and pouring another for her.

It was an odd feeling, walking the drinks back to his seat. For once it wasn’t an act, staging for his evening company, playing the good host to set the mood. Instead, it was a genuine act of service, showing that he’d been paying attention and learning her preferences, anticipating a need or a desire without being asked. Not that he’d ever been a cad, at least, not that he’d ever believed he was. Only that his conquests were typically just that. He liked them to be comfortable and happy. He enjoyed being gracious and being able to provide an experience. But it was all part of the game that ended the moment they’d leave. And they always did. Whether it were someone he’d met while he’d been out enjoying himself or one of the siblings he tended to. When it was over, it was over, and they would go.

But not Ophelia. No, she’d proven to be less inclined to vanish the moment the evening was done. When she’d asked when she could see him again, he’d assumed that it was simply a courtesy, social etiquette. Of course she could, but she wouldn’t. He wouldn’t even acknowledge the tiny spark of hope that bloomed, that he wanted to see her again. The same want that had him sneaking glances at the newly arrived Sister whenever she was nearby, making excuses to stop in and listen to choir practice, developing a habit of walking the grounds after lunch when he noticed that she preferred to take her own meal outside, and that drove him to send her an invitation in the first place.

Along with it, unfortunately, also came the very same stubborn refusal to admit any of those feelings were real or important. He just needed to get it out of his system, he’d told himself. Repeatedly. Every time he’d sent her another invitation, another summons. To no effect. Or, at least, not the effect he wanted. What it had done was start the fight he was currently trying to make amends for.

“Idiota del cazzo.” Secondo cursed himself under his breath just thinking about it.

The knock at his door shook him out of his thoughts. There was no one else it could be and Ophelia always was refreshingly punctual. He’d honestly thought it was a fluke the first time, or that she was trying to make an impression. But every time she’d said she would be there at a specific time, there she was, on the dot.

His habit, when visitors arrived, was simply to call for them to come in. It was rare for Secondo to have anyone turn up uninvited and it gave him a chance to set the tone from the start. This time, however, he got up and actually answered the door. He’d given his word to do better, after all, and he needed to prove he was sincere. At least, that’s what he told himself. An easier pill to swallow than admitting he wanted to see her more than he wanted to assert dominance like a pigheaded fool.

Ophelia stood in the hall, looking up at him when he opened the door. Not in her habit, but her street clothes. Just looking, he couldn’t tell how deliberate the choices were, but he suspected there had been some thought put into it. Comfortable evening clothes, not anything flashy for going out. Plain enough to not look like she was trying to get his attention but that captured it, regardless.

Secondo gave her a small, private smile and stepped aside to let her past. “Come in, please, cara mia.”

She slipped inside, pausing when she walked into the main room, waiting for him to guide her to his chosen spot. He couldn’t help brushing his hand against her back once the door was closed and locked. Leading the way over to the couch and the waiting drinks. Ophelia eyed the glasses with a raised brow and the hint of a smirk.

“You remembered.” She said quietly, taking a seat, sat sideways to face him with one leg tucked underneath her. The ice in her glass clinked against the side when she took a sip.

Some of the tension began to ease. He’d been waiting for annoyance or anger, for lingering remnants of the last time. But she seemed at ease or, at very least, calm. “I tell you I am good with details, no?” He chuckled softly.

She seemed to consider for a moment, finally moving her hand closer to his, offering it almost timidly. Burned once before and not eager to do it again. The way it made Secondo’s heart race in his chest threatened to crack the careful mask he kept in place. He took the offer just as gently. Her hand feeling small and delicate in his own. His eyes fixed on it as he rubbed his thumb across her fingers.

“… I have missed you.” He said, barely more than a whisper, forcing himself to use English no matter how awkward it made speaking of emotional matters. He furrowed his brow, not looking up from her hand. Four words and he already felt like a sentimental old fool. Yet… it was the first time in a week that he hadn’t felt guilty and miserable. He lifted her hand, softly kissing each of her fingers, trying to shove aside the desperate need to feel her warm palm cupping his cheek. “I think maybe you don’t ever come back.”

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze in return, taking a moment to answer. “… I didn’t leave because I didn’t want to be here, Secondo. I left because… because it hurt to stay.”

It was a knife to the gut but he didn’t flinch. He earned that blow and more than a few others, he was sure. He finally looked up at her, his usual hard expression pinched with guilt all over again. “Non ho mai voluto ferirti.”

“Se pensassi che tu lo volessi, non sarei qui.” When her hand slipped from his, he worried she meant to take it back. But, instead, she cupped his cheek as if she’d read his mind and he melted into her touch. Her voice stayed steady and calm, not looking for a fight, only answers. “What is it you want from me, hmm? You missed me, you want me here, but what does that mean?”

They were fair questions. Ones he wasn’t sure he had the answers to. He’d been trying to work that out for himself for days. “… I don’t know.” Why was that so hard to admit? “I want… you.”

“It’s a start.” The corner of her mouth turned up slightly. “I want you too. But I need to know what that looks like to you.”

He huffed again, closing his eyes, trying to picture it. Trying to turn an assortment of wants into a cohesive path forward. It felt like lurching through the dark, trying to find something solid to grab on to. The same thought came to him that had been plaguing him for a long while. No one has ever stayed long enough to need plans for the future. Too many years with nothing stable and no chance to learn what there is to ask for.

Ophelia waited a long moment before speaking up again. “Secondo… maybe simpler questions first.” He gave a short nod she rubbed her thumb over his cheekbone. “You want me… to yourself?”

“Non desidero condividere.” That much he could say for certain.

“E se nemmeno io volessi condividere te?”

Ah, yes, that would be the next logical question. In his heart, he knew the answer. Even while the stubborn stupid part of him struggled against the thought of being so restrained. The last week had been one small taste and it had been miserable. Whether she asked it of him or not, there wasn’t anyone else he was interested in sharing his bed.

“Then… no sharing.”

She leaned in closer, kissing him softly. Her nose bumped against his as she stared back at him intently. “No sharing.” Not a question, a statement. “You want this Officially?”

Within the Ministry, Official meant something different. More of a title and a position than anything romantic. He was well aware of the entire process even if he hadn’t needed it before. It denoted a lot of intention for one of a handful of things to come. Things that threatened to send him spiralling again if he thought on them too hard.

“… Non ancora.”

She nodded and didn’t argue. He searched her face for disappointment, but there was none. “That’s all right. Paperwork never made anything sexier.” She smiled encouragingly, trying to ease his worries. “What else?”

Secondo sighed and furrowed his brow again. “… I don’t know.”

“Ascolta, non ho bisogno che tu pianifichi un intero futuro. Solo... cosa comporta la mancata condivisione?” Ophelia offered gently. “Non voglio che si ripeta l'ultima volta, tutto qui.”

She moved closer again, carefully straddling his lap, watching for any sign the advance wasn’t wanted. But he was far from disinterested or disapproving. So grateful for the closeness, he held his breath until she settled comfortably against him. Normally, his hands would have been set on roaming, holding on to her possessively. This felt much too delicate. Something that would crumble in his hands without care and attention. He gently caressed her sides, resting his hands on her hips. Staring back at her, trying to hide how far out of his depth he felt and failing.

“Neanche io voglio una ripetizione.”

“Then we’ll just have to take it one thing at a time, yes?” She draped her arms over his shoulders. “I am curious… you invited me over. Was there something you had in mind for when I got here?”

He looked away from her again. Coward, his thoughts screamed. The unshakable Secondo, running from his own feelings. If they only knew what a coward you hide behind that mask. He set his jaw and huffed. Annoyed at himself and trying to shake off the urge to pull away. “I… missed you. I wanted to see you. To talk.” Every word felt like pulling teeth. “To tell you… I am sorry. That I will do better. No text. Face to face. So you see I am sincere... I want to ask you to stay.”

Secondo sighed deeply and looked back at her. His older brother’s words ringing in his ears. A half forgotten memory from so long ago, he couldn’t have said when it was. It gets easier with practice. You don’t get better by never trying. The more he talked, the less difficult it felt. Not that he’d ever be telling Primo. He’d never live down that smug look.

“Non posso fare promesse, Ophelia. Non posso dirti che c'è... altro... in attesa in futuro. Posso solo dirti che ti voglio. Ti voglio qui con me. Voglio questo, qualunque cosa sia, con te.” He searched her face for disappointment, knowing all to well that he walked a fine line. “Ti sarà sufficiente? Voglio che tu sia felice, cara mia. Questo è ciò che ho da offrire.”

Her expression remained soft, hearing him out and thinking it over genuinely. “Before I answer, may I ask a few questions?”

“Si.” It was a reasonable enough request.

“Will you take me out, on an actual date, on occasion?”

Secondo smirked ever so slightly. “Si. I am not a monster, tesoro.”

“And you’re all right with some romance?”

He froze, looking at her like she’d served him canned spaghetti. “Ophelia! Come hai potuto chiedermi una cosa del genere? Non pensi che io sia romantico? Chi ti ha detto bugie? Mio fratello?”

She couldn’t help laughing, cupping his cheeks and kissing him. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m only teasing!”

He huffed in annoyance but his pout only made her giggle until he cracked, chuckling softly with her. The tension dissipating. Secondo finally grabbed a hold of her properly and pulled her into another kiss. His heart pounding in his chest when she leaned into it, pressing herself against him, scratching her nails softly over his scalp. Hellfire, he had missed her.

“This is all you want from me, hmm?” He let the question rumble in his chest, enjoying what he could do to her just with his voice. “To take you out, show off to everyone this beauty that is mine, and to romance you?”

She shivered, melting closer to him. “I can think of a few other things.”

“Ah? Cos'altro vorresti?”

He could feel her hesitate, the way her back tensed a little. And when she did speak, it was softer before. Like she’d taken up the uncertainty he’d set aside. “… Mi lascerai passare la notte?”

Secondo pulled away a little too look her in the eye, a little surprised by the question. “You… think I don’t want you to stay?”

“I think… you are very particular about your space and your routine. I don’t want to disrupt that. It’s part of who you are, what you’re comfortable with, and I know very well that I’ve already been disruptive enough.” She smiled gently, running her hands over his chest. “Voglio restare, ma non a tue spese.”

“Ophelia…” He sighed, cursing himself again. It shouldn’t have been so difficult. He’d seen other people do it. Hell’s teeth, his own brother would hand over his heart to anyone and everyone if he could. And there he was, still trying to keep every buried emotion, every unspoken want, every desperate, pleading, begging, nagging need locked carefully away behind a mask of indifference while they tore him apart from the inside until he felt like he might crumble to dust. An empty shell, hollowed out by his own stupid pride.

And then… her warm hand was on his cheek again, her thumb rubbing over his cheekbone. Her lips brushed his softly and he closed his eyes. Letting the feeling of her pressed against him consume him entirely. Ophelia laid her palm on his chest, over his heart, still trying to beat its way out of his chest. The need for her touch overwhelming his stubbornness, Secondo placed his hand over hers. Please don’t let go.

“È qui che sta il dolore?” Her whispered voice cut through the dark of his thoughts. The question clawed at the back of his throat as he wrestled for control.

She kept the silence with him, pressing her forehead to his. Fingers gently unbuttoning his shirt. Her mouth found his jaw, leaving a trail of soft kisses down his neck, over his collarbone, and stopping just over his heart.

“Ti sdraierai per me?” Her voice remained as soft and gentle.

When he opened his eyes, she stared back at him. “Here?” Secondo asked, looking at the couch as if he were missing something.

“Here.” She confirmed.

Ophelia moved to get up and, for a moment, his grip tightened. The panicked feeling of a lifeline slipping from his grasp hit so hard and so fast it made him nauseous. Maybe he was finally cracking. Terzo certainly loved to joke that granite cracks so easily whenever he was being especially stubborn. An entire lifetime of learning to be hard and strong only to break now. That would be exactly his luck.

But she waited patiently for it to pass. Letting him take a moment uninterrupted. Until he felt safe enough to let go. When his grip loosened, she turned her hand in his to keep a hold of him. Slowly standing up off his lap so he could lie down. “May I choose a record?”

He gave her hand a squeeze and nodded, releasing her.

There was a fairly extensive collection on his shelves. Records few people were given permission to touch. She didn’t go for the shelves, however. More focused on the handful that were sitting next to the turntable. Gingerly flipping through, settling on one he’d played for her before. The fourth or fifth time she’d visited his quarters. One he’d spoken fondly of. Every move she made, from sliding the vinyl from its sleeve to setting the needle was careful and precise. As though she were handling the most delicate treasure. Music filled the room, turned down low enough to not be overwhelming.

The corner of his mouth turned up at the choice and he sighed, remembering what it was he was meant to be doing. It felt silly and awkward, and he did it anyway. They were well past the point of saving any of his dignity. If it made her happy, that was enough. Secondo stretched out his tall frame, taking up the entire length of the couch, lying on his side. Once he was settled, Ophelia joined him. Facing him, she rested her head on his arm curled under his head. Pressing tightly up against his chest. Her arm wrapped around him, gently tracing meaningless patterns on his back.

Secondo wrapped his arm around her in return. Just lying there quietly, listening to a record he was certain he’d played a thousand times before, being held gently without any expectations or demands… His chest burned in a way he hadn’t felt in years, decades, when he’d still been small and words still cut deep. The stifled urge to cry and the refusal to give in, to let them see he was hurt. He bit down on the pain and forced a deep breath. Focusing until the feeling passed.

“… I want you to stay.” He offered quietly, once he felt he could trust his voice. “No expense to me, tesoro. How can it be an expense? You know what means tesoro, no?”

Ophelia smiled and nuzzled her nose against his jaw. “I do, yes.”

“How can it be an expense to have such a treasure here with me?” He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the faint smell of orange blossom that he’d begun associating only with her. The sick, frantic desperation that had gripped him so tightly faded away, lost in the warmth of her body and the touch of her hand.

“Secondo?”

“Mmm?”

“You asked if it was enough. What you’re offering.”

“Si.” He could feel himself tensing, waiting for the blow.

“There’s really only one thing that I need to ask of you.”

“Tell me?” Closing his eyes and trying to soak up the feeling of her there, the comfort of being held. Before it slipped away. Again.

“Talk to me? Please?” Ophelia asked quietly, as though someone else might hear. “You are enough, Secondo. More than enough. Just as you are. What you are offering me? I accept. Of course I accept. But… for me… I need to know that I can trust you to talk to me. That if there’s a problem, if I’ve done something wrong, if you’re hurt, that I won’t have to guess. That it won’t be another fight that takes a week to resolve before we can have a conversation.”

It sounded so simple when she said it. So why did it feel like such an impossible thing? He looked back at her, trying to come up with some kind of response that felt both honest and actually achievable.

And she held up a finger.

“So che è più facile a dirsi che a farsi. Ma se puoi dirmi che comunicherai almeno le basi, è tutto ciò di cui ho bisogno.” Her hand found his, lacing their fingers together. “I’m tired. I had a bad day. I have a headache. I need some time alone. I am upset. Whether you say it or write it down or text it to me. Whatever it is. That’s all I need.”

Secondo stared at her, waiting for the punchline. It couldn’t possibly be that simple. Could it? There had to be more. “È tutto?”

She gave a small, half shrug. “I won’t complain if there’s a little more. I need some time alone not because I’m angry at you. I am upset and I will discuss it with you when I’m ready. But yes, basically, that’s all.”

It sounded like nonsense, but she looked so sincere. What other choice did he have but to accept it as truth? He leaned in a little closer, kissing her softly. “Ti do la mia parola. Ti parlerò. Dimmi qual è il problema.... Mi darai la tua parola che mi concederai un po' di grazia mentre imparo?”

Ophelia smiled and kissed him again. “Naturalmente lo farò.” Snuggling closer, she hooked her leg over his hip. “We’ll figure it out, right?”

“Si.” He pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes and letting the relief wash over him.

For the first time maybe ever, he didn’t feel the need to play a role. Host, leader, entertainment, Papa… all of the masks he wore. There was no expectation for him to take control or initiate more. He was free to simply enjoy the soft, familiar music and the warmth, the gentle pressure of her pressing close.

__________________________________________________________

Idiota del cazzo. - Fucking idiot.

Non ho mai voluto ferirti - I never wanted to hurt you

Se pensassi che tu lo volessi, non sarei qui - If I thought you wanted to, I wouldn't be here

Non desidero condividere - I don't wish to share.

E se nemmeno io volessi condividere te? - What if I don't want to share you either?

Non ancora - Not yet

Ascolta, non ho bisogno che tu pianifichi un intero futuro. Solo… cosa comporta la mancata condivisione? - Listen, I don't need you to plan an entire future. Just… what does no sharing mean?

Non voglio che si ripeta l'ultima volta, tutto qui. - I don't want to repeat the last time, that's all.

Neanche io voglio una ripetizione - I don't want a repeat either

Non posso fare promesse, Ophelia. Non posso dirti che c'è… altro… in attesa in futuro. Posso solo dirti che ti voglio. Ti voglio qui con me. Voglio questo, qualunque cosa sia, con te. - I can't make any promises, Ophelia. I can't tell you that there is… more… waiting in the future. I can only tell you that I want you. I want you here with me. I want this, whatever it is, with you.

Ti sarà sufficiente? Voglio che tu sia felice, cara mia. Questo è ciò che ho da offrire. - Will it be enough for you? I want you to be happy, my dear. This is what I have to offer.

Ophelia! Come hai potuto chiedermi una cosa del genere? Non pensi che io sia romantico? Chi ti ha detto bugie? Mio fratello? - Ophelia! How could you ask me such a thing? You don't think I'm romantic? Who lied to you? My brother?

Ah? Cos'altro vorresti? - Oh? What else would you like?

Mi lascerai passare la notte? - Will you let me spend the night?

Voglio restare, ma non a tue spese. - I want to stay, but not at your expense.

È qui che sta il dolore? - Is this where the pain lies?

Ti sdraierai per me? - Will you lie down for me?

So che è più facile a dirsi che a farsi. Ma se puoi dirmi che comunicherai almeno le basi, è tutto ciò di cui ho bisogno. - I know that's easier said than done. But if you can tell me that you will at least communicate the basics, that's all I need.

È tutto? - That's all?

Ti do la mia parola. Ti parlerò. Dimmi qual è il problema…. Mi darai la tua parola che mi concederai un po' di grazia mentre imparo? - I give you my word. I will talk to you. Tell you what's the matter…. Will you give me your word that you will grant me a little grace while I learn?

Naturalmente lo farò. - Of course I will.

[animehouse-moe]

Mobile Suit Gundam - The Witch From Mercury Season 2 Episode 2: What They Wish For

Maybe with the break in seasons, and having a chance to mull things over, I've found that that overall story and direction can be a bit crass at times. Or maybe it's the shift in material and the feeling of rushing towards a goal that exposes the pieces more than the first season. Whichever it is, there's still plenty of great parts to the episode, and one massive reveal, so there's more than enough to chat about.

⚠️Warning: Massive Spoilers Ahead⚠️

So, let's start with the big reveal. The fandom from effectively episode 1 of the first season has been on the "Ericht is Aerial" theory. And I'll say it straight up, I'm not a big fan of it really. It's hard to explain because there's a lot to my reasoning, but if I had to choose something, it's largely about how Prospera approaches revenge and justification. She uses Ericht as a tool still, yes, but lovingly refers to her as her daughter and is going to quite literally change the world for her. I felt like Prospera's distance as a mother was far stronger/better when assuming that Aerial was still 'inhuman'. Though, in the first place, was Aerial ever inhuman? Even in the prologue, Ericht was able to talk with Lfrith fairly easy.

Also, perhaps it's a stylistic choice as it centers around Prospera's conversation, but I found the visualization of a young Ericht to be rather odd, and largely due to the interlude novel Cradle Star, which you can read here for free. Anyways, the point is that the novel is from Aerial/Ericht's perspective, and so their monologue can be taken at face value. In the novel they come off far form the existence of a child, but then even further into the timeline than that interlude novel we have Ericht represented as a child still. Just sort of something that bothers me within the context of it all.

Now, what do I like about it? Well, there's talks of Prospera and Delling and "Gods", but the visuals given already paint a better picture. Ericht is already viewed as a God. The entire scene of Sophie reaching out towards Aerial/Ericht is pretty obvious in that sense. Whether they use this symbolism in opposition to the hubris that Prospera and Delling are attempting to commit is a different story, but I can really appreciate their use of the "blessed child" when those around them are cursed.

While on the topic of Sophie, I did like her story. I feel they could have done more to create more dissonance between her desires and her actions considering that she's so young, but I think they just made the cut to sell the moment.

I guessed what I've realized while writing this all out is that this second season just needs more time. Within two episodes this season we've had: Ericht revealed, Sophie killed, Prospera's end goal exposed, an effective war declared on Earth, and all of Shaddiq and Elan's scheming. It feels like a lot to take in when you consider the pacing of the previous season. Not that you can't speed things up, but most people prefer a decline rather than a cliff.

As an example, think back to the first season. Elan first expressed interest in Suletta through her first duel. He spent time around her, got angry about her being "blessed", had a whole character arc, and then was terminated. Sophie just isn't there as an "important" character. She doesn't give viewers anything to grab onto, anything to really feel in her short time with Suletta. We get the same sentiment she speaks about during her fights, and we get a slideshow of her interactions.

It just feels like the story's on a schedule for season 2. It has its eyes on the prize and isn't letting anything get in the way, so the pacing feels incredibly brisk after the long break we had between seasons. That's not to say that there isn't good or redeeming aspects in season 2, but if there were to be any concerns or issues, it absolutely lies in the pacing and heavy-handed nature that has been adopted for this stretch of episodes.

Thankfully, we're only 2 episodes in to the season so there's plenty of room to rectify things, and we've still been getting incredible visual work. In terms of direction, were spoiled with the final episode of the first season, so I wouldn't say it's been "stellar" work in comparison to that, but it's more than satisfying.

So at the end of the day, I'd say there's tradeoffs being made. We get more action and more "gundam" stuff, but it's at relative cost to the story and its progression. Only time will tell if it ends up worth it or not, but I certainly believe these episodes that are getting the ball rolling for Season 2 feel at odds with the nature of the first season.

[strangertheories]

mike's monologue and love giving el the strength to fight back against vecna was a parallel to el gaining strength from remembering her mother's memory and love for her and defeating vecna at the lab scene. i am sorry but how can ppl watch that happen and say that the monologue was a lie and mike secretly has feelings for will is beyond me. bylers have the tendency to reach hard to prove their ship's existence with baseless ''parallels'', but when they see an actual and real parallel on the show they completely disregard it, it is just ridiculous in terms of following the narrative and storylines. also el being 'dependent' on mike is not a good way to read that narrative, the show portrays love and being dependent on it as something positive, not negative. el depending on her mother, and on mike is not a bad thing when the show portrays love as the strongest feeling that gives you strength. so no, i don't think el being dependent on mike was portrayed as a negative thing. she and others characters are portrayed as getting strength from love, will did in s2 and max did in s4 and el did it at the lab and then in s4 with mike giving strength to her.

Ok firstly, I agree that it was a parallel between her mother's love and her use of strong emotions in previous seasons to boost her powers. I'm more of a Byler doubter and that scene is ultimately what holds me back from believing in Byler because it's quite romantic and was the climax of the series, which feels odd if they're intending for Byler to happen. However, I still dislike it and believe they should be together even if I have my doubts that they will (I was thinking about not including this paragraph, but I would like to be honest with people following me however I'll still make pro Byler posts and theories!)

However, disclaimer aside, I still dislike the scene. Personally, I would've preferred Will and Johnathan cheering her on from a familial sense of love because it would've served the same purpose without as many issues. Eleven depending on her loved ones is not the issue; it's Mike needing her to depend on him. Maybe that's not what the writers intended, but he had a scene about how he thought their relationship was over because she didn't need him, was told she secretly did (when it was a really Will) and only then was able to tell her he loved her. It just makes him seem like he's only telling her so he can feel validation - this is an issue for me with Byler as well. Also, and you can disagree, the confession just felt a bit cheesy and cliché to me.

I'm aware this is only one opinion, but I just think the other ships were handled so well and Mlvn has been a bit of a let down to me, especially considering how much I love(d) them in earlier seasons. And I don't think I'm the only one; most people in my life who will never even have heard of Byler are no longer invested in their relationship as it seems cheesy, they're constantly fighting and are outshone by the other couples. For me, the difference is that I genuinely feel like Mike and Eleven could break up and stop loving each other during their fights whereas when Hopper and Joyce or Lucas and Max fight, it just feels like they love each other.

It's nice to hear your perspective and I hope this was balanced and made sense. Thanks for the ask, hope you can understand my pov more.

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

hello hello, the poll is over, here is my personal ranking and why. you are all going to hate me for some of these opinions.

1st place, you already know goes to AM. this dude does not die in the original short story. he is able to be defeated in the game, but not easily. also, he fucking killed the entire human population of earth, save for 5 people. also he can pretty much bend reality to his will, trap people in these hellscapes based on their deepest fears, and turn people into great soft jelly things with no perception of time and NEGATIVE PAIN TOLERANCE. there is no stopping AM. cogito ergo sum.

2nd place, for me, is SHODAN. oh sure, "god forbid women win" when it's GLaDOS, but WHERE'S THE LOVE FOR OUR GIRL SHODAN?? HUH?? WHERE IS IT?? SHODAN CAN TURN HUMANS INTO MUTANTS AND CYBORGS. SHE COMES BACK IN EVERY SYSTEM SHOCK GAME. SHE INCESSANTLY TAUNTS THE PLAYER LIKE "ooh you wanna kill me so bad it makes you look stupid" COME THE FUCK ON. also SHODAN inspired GLaDOS and almost everything about her. put some respect on her name.

3rd place, somehow pretty much none of voted for this one, but skynet. skynet is also responsible for a nuclear armageddon that wiped out most of humanity and enslaved the rest. it's also responsible for the terminators themselves (who will not be included in the next evil AI smackdown poll, sorry). still, it was defeated by john connor and the resistance, so that makes it lose a few points. i feel like skynet and AM would just be fighting over the nukes like a couple of children and the thought makes me laugh.

4th place is ultron. ultron could've been higher if he weren't defeated in one movie. we saw what he would've been capable of had he actually taken over vision, but i'm just going off of avengers age of ultron here. he might have some kind of advantage since he actually has a body and could unplug the others, but he'd probably go into some long-winded monologue and get his ass handed to him within seconds. and sure, he can transfer his consciousness between bodies, but there's a limited supply of them, so if they're all destroyed somehow, ultron is fucking toast.

5th goes to GLaDOS. i'm pretty certain that every vote for GLaDOS was personal preference. NEUROTOXINS DON'T DO SHIT AGAINST AI. ROBOTS AND AI DO NOT HAVE NEUROS TO TOXIN. also she was defeated multiple times, put into a potato battery for a stint, and given morals. besides, her reach is limited just to aperture science, so she can't do much outside of the facility. yes yes, god forbid women win anything, blah blah blah, see number two.

unsurprisingly last is HAL 9000. he was honestly just here because he's probably one of the most recognizable "evil" AI out there. and he's not even really evil, he was just scared of being deactivated so he killed most of his human crew and got fucking unplugged for it. also his reach is pretty much limited to the discovery one, so unless he were to crash that thing into any of them, HAL's pretty much toast.

also, again, if you have suggestions for another evil AI to add to the next bracket, tell me. i've already got AUTO from wall-e, clovis bray from destiny 2, and several other Mystery Contenders.

reblog for reach, debates are highly encouraged

[k3rm1e]

cuddling headcanons! ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

this is more of a test thing to see if i like writing this way and if this blog does well

other imagines and headcanons won't include everyone i write unless it is specifically requested and is a prompt i really like

includes: wilbur nihachu karljacobs quackity dream georgenotfound sapnap p!tommyinnnit p!badboyhalo p!skeppy p!eret p!philza p!tubbo p!ranboo

cw: cursing

wilbur:

wilbur is a very cuddle-y guy

to me he seems very soft

i always see people saying he would like spooning, but i disagree

i feel like he would do more of a half-spooning thing with his head on your chest or the other way around

mans would DEFINITELY make you run your fingers through his hair

i feel like he would lay on your chest and just *nuzzle* into the space between your shoulder and neck

anytime you tried to leave him, whether it was because he had to do something or you had to, he would whine. so. fucking. much.

It would probably always go something like:

you - i need to piss

wilbur - no <3

but the moment he decides its time to stop cuddling its fine

and if you complain that you’re gonna miss him he’ll just call you clingy and tease you

like??? sir???

all in good fun though, no bad intentions :)

nihachu:

i feel like you and niki would face each other

with your head like under her chin and in her chest (this is a bad description but look at the “honeymoon hug” on the list for better explanation ;-;)

she would always want to protect you

so she does that by like almost guarding you and keeping you close

niki would definitely do the arm thing where she just lightly moves her hand up and down you arm

i’m so sorry if you don't understand that, it just feels like something she would do

if you haven't experienced that it kinda sorta feels like spiders??? but in a good way???

but generally she is very protective

she just holds you so close the whole time

even if she doesn’t want to let you go, she’s more understanding about it

she would be upset but wouldn’t show it because she doesn’t want to make you feel guilty

niki is generally just an amazing cuddle-r (is that a word?) and has a super comforting presence

karljacobs:

karl would definitely keep your head on his chest

the whole time he would just absolutely squeeze the life out of you

he would constantly bend his neck down to kiss your head

and instead of just like leaving his head down so he could kiss you it would just be:

*inner monologue karl* hmmm i wanna kiss them on their head

and he would lean down to do so which, cute

but then five seconds later he would do it again

and again another five seconds later

and again

very cute karl but please sir, your neck is gonna be so messed up after this

when you had to leave he would be upset, but like niki, would try not to show it

except karl is very bad at that and his pouting would be so obvious

so you would feel guilty and layback down with him

immediately he just becomes (●´ω｀●)

like a happy little puppy

karl is just too adorable for you to deny

quackity:

now we all know this, quackity is a huge dork

which is why i believe he would DEFINITELY use your butt as a pillow

not even in a weird way

i just feel like quackity isn’t too comfortable with touch so this is sorta his way of being close to you without it being a whole serious thing

like he still is able to be goofy and comfortable without it being a whole big thing

him doing this would almost always come with a flatty patty joke from you

which always causes him to threaten divorce, even though you aren’t married

while it isn’t a very good position for things like physical touch, it is good for talking and having conversations

for some reason i feel like he’s the type of person to text someone when they’re right next to each other

so while he’s laying down he’ll just send you random photos of himself

very annoying when your phone is spammed, but also good blackmail material >:)

i don’t think he’d be too clingy

obviously, he enjoys spending time with you

but if you told him you need to go do work or something he wouldn’t throw a fit or pout

big q just seems like he’d be more rational about stuff like that

overall a 420/69 cuddle partner

dream:

one word: spooning

mans just envelops you and has no shame

very big: “no you are mine! >:(“ energy

while he’s sleeping he’ll unconsciously nuzzle his head into your hair/the back of your neck

when you guys got to bed patches usually climbs in and you hold her

i love patches so much i could write headcanons just about her

dream always wants to be cuddling you

if you try to leave he won’t pout, there simply isn't a discussion on whether you’re moving or not

incase you haven’t caught on yet, the answer is no

you need to do work? just bring the laptop to bed

he needs to edit? just sit in his lap at his desk, duh

obviously, he knows at some point you guys need to stop cuddling

he just isn’t too stoked about it

when it comes time where he absolutely can’t cuddle with you, i feel like he’d be more chill

mainly just annoyed

georgenotfound:

i feel like george, like quackity, also wouldn’t be too touchy

i’m pretty sure he has a hard time expressing emotions (please correct me if i’m wrong!!) and i think that would crossover to his sleeping habits

i think he would prefer a sort of back-to-back cuddling position

it seems cold, i know

but also he would most definitely kick at you

so every night while trying to go to sleep suddenly you would just feel *kick*

and then instead of sleep you’re suddenly playing footsie

lots of laughter and warm feelings involved

george would probably pretend that you kicked his leg hard or something and act like you hurt him

the first few times you were actually worried

but then after a few months your only response was a sarcastic “cry about it”

which just led to more laughter

sapnap:

sapnap and you would do a sort of leg hug thing

you both you try to go to sleep in a cute spooning-type position

but the moment one of you fell asleep it all unraveled

you would wake up apart but you’re legs would still be touching

sapnap would joking blame it on you

“wow can’t believe you don't wanna be close with me even when we’re asleep”

“it’s not my fault! i can’t control where i end up when i sleep!”

“no, no. you don’t have to lie. i see how it is.”

“>:(“

but it's okay!

your legs are the first thing to react in a flight-or-fight situation, so they usually react in an honest way

which is like your legs are both reaching to hold each other!

p!tommyinnit:

i don’t get a very touchy vibe from tommy

i feel like the most he would do is put his arm over your shoulder

not in a flirty way, just in a “hey, there isn’t a lot of space, this will make sitting down more comfortable” way

he will let you sorta fidget with his hand/arm

i don't know if that makes sense but what i mean is that he’ll pretty much let his arm go *flop* so you can control it (by like moving it around or playing with his fingers)

in the beginning he would get annoyed

but eventually he would get used to it and wouldn’t really care

it sounds a bit strange but i personally find it very comforting to just have something to fidget with while watching youtube or netflix in bed with my friends

and it’s entertaining (sometimes i do this to me sister to annoy her :>)

he would act like he didn’t mind if you left him

but holy shit he is so clingy

If you try to leave it’ll just be “no, why??? stay here dumbass”

you would be slightly annoyed when he had to leave  but knew he had to film and stream and all that so you would be okay

p!badboyhalo:

you would kinda sit within bad’s lap

like not on his lap, but more of in between his legs

he would have his arms around you

and his phone would be in front of you so you two could scroll through twt or instagram together

or you guys could watch skeppy’s youtube ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

rat would sit in your lap

she’s just;;;;;;;; so adorable

rat is just so soft and fuzzy in your lap and everytime you move to pet her she just melts

rat is the the superior cuddle buddy to any of these block people

p!skeppy:

skeppy, similar to quackity, is a total dork

he would make sure you guys were in a position where he could effectively troll you

so if your head was near his lap he would just flick you or some

“dude can you please stop hitting me in the head”

“it turns out i am not actually hitting you in your head because based on the perpendicularity of the bisector multiplied by the photosynthesis of the dividend, it is impossible for me to do so”

“wtf”

lya is so goddamn sick of you guys

she's trying to get him to actually do something but instead he’s just sitting there throwing paper airplanes at you while you sleep

he’s an annoying asshole but it's okay because he gives you money for absurd reasons

p!eret:

eret has such a comfortable presence

i feel like she wouldn’t be up for cuddling too much

more of like putting your head on a friends shoulder so you can see the tweet their showing you

but they do like to hold hands

holding hands isn’t very intimate but it's also just such a sweet comforting thing

she even holds your hand when you guys are out walking around

like if you guys were getting food somewhere (post-covid of course)

you most likely would get addressed as a couple

and he would just be like”...wut?”

it’s happened so many times at this point you just go along with it

“you guys look like such a cute couple!”

“oh we aren't-” “thank you!”

can you tell that i love eret?

p!philza:

phil always has such dad vibes

i feel like the closest he would get to cuddling is hugs and hand holding

even though cuddling isn’t inherently romantic, he is married to kristen

so i fell he would get most of his touch in with her

but with you he’s just so fatherly

hello dadza

whether you have a good or bad relationship with your father, everyone can admit that philza minecraft is dadza

this is such a dad thing, but tries to hold you hand when you cross the street

no matter the age, he just feels the need to protect you

hugs are similar

uses hugs as a way to comfort you and protect you

just so amazing all around

p!tubbo:

tubbo would love cuddling in any way, shape, or form

if you guys are hanging out at like the park or something and lying down

get ready to become this mans pillow

this is really fun to do with your friends but imagine you guys are hanging out in a field type area (with my friends we hand out in the field next to the cemetery but it can be any open grass area)

tubbo would just use your lap as a pillow the whole time

and when you guys were walking back to his house he would sorta drape his arms over your shoulders (assuming he’s taller than you)

he would do the same thing when you guys were sitting in chairs or at a desk

just drapes his arms over your shoulder with his chin on your head

if it's really late and he's tired he’ll just hug you

p!ranboo:

if you thought tubbo is bad, ranboo is even worse

not even really cuddling, he just likes having a sort of skin-to-skin contact

so handholding and laying on top of eachother

if he’s streaming he will legitimately message ou to just sit next to him

so sometimes if he’s just chilling by himself on the smp you’ll end up on his streams

he’ll have you next to him just because he likes be near someone

and so randomly it’ll just be like “chat, a real human is here, behave”

chat does not behave

(they heavily bully him)

he’s pretty clingy but when you HAVE to leave he’ll understand and just be a bit bummed out

holy shit this took me so long-

if you read this whole thing thank you!

[fieryhonesty]

“Story’s based on a request from a Nonnie and they are right! Our Xiao needs hugs and rest a bit.”

Words: 1910

Genre: fluff, f!reader

Xiao is always keeping things for him. He will never seek company to share his burdens. After all, there is no trouble which will last long enough, he says. However he can't deny there are moments when he is fed up. Be it the never ending war he fights or his own problems. Which are having roots back in history.

Sometimes there's too much to handle at once, yet he stands tall and faces it headon. Never argues or falters with decisions. As long as it means he can protect Liyue. 

To anyone who has never seen him or rarely, he looks like a strong and cold man. But is he really like this? He is an Adeptus, he has seen a lot and experienced some battle scars. Was Xiao always like this? Back in the days when all other Yaksha existed. 

Many things happened in his life. He can't even count or remember it all. But all those things made him who he is now. Although there are things which still surprise or confuse him. 

He never liked showing himself in front of mortals. There are just a few ones which he tolerates or even allows to talk to him. If he is in a good mood of course. The ones who know Xiao also know about keeping distance when he is upset.

But there's one mortal whose boldness or maybe stupidity never ceases to amaze him. He told you so many times to leave him be, added harsh words and yet... you didn't turn away. Instead approached and offered a companionship. 

He eventually gave up with chasing the silly female away. At first he didn't know why she was so stubborn. Mortals are strange but you are like one or two levels stranger than anyone else. Just why do you wish to spend time with somebody like him?

You are like a bridge between the silent and closed up Adeptus and mortal realm. Part of him is still hesitant and refuses to share his burdens. He might have allowed you to stay beside him, be it in silence or tell him what you did that day. What strange things happened or something. He would just sit there and listen. But none of this means he will let his guard down. He will always be fully aware of what's happening around. 

You are often asking yourself: does he ever rest? As you know him for a while you are able to recognize when he is really sad and you shouldn't say much. Or when he is quite alright and willing to listen to your rambling until you fall asleep. The fact you can peacefully sleep in Xiao's presence amazes him.

Today is one of those nights when he would have preferred to be just alone. But why does he feel this burning desire to pay you a visit? Is it because you didn't come for a few days and he got worried? No. That can't be it. Xiao has no attachment to anybody, especially mortals.

Truth to be told, he feels tired and despite feeling the way he feels. He decides to silently knock on your door. At first he thought he knocked too lightly. For a brief second he thought to himself to leave. Why is he here anyway? But then he heard your footsteps from behind the door. 

He feels so conflicted. He shouldn't be here, seeking anyone's company. Solitude and sadness are nothing to him.

When you open the door of your apartment, the cold is immediately making you shiver. Not wasting any second grabbing Xiao's wrist and pulling him inside. The cold is too much for you. How the heck he can just stand there and not shiver?! 

Be it anyone else touching him, he would have asked them if they do have a death wish. He got used to your touch at least a bit. You sometimes gently squeezed his hand in a friendly gesture. To assure him you are there, willing to listen to anything or just sit silently and observe the sky.

Letting go of his wrist and looking into his golden eyes. As usually his expression is the same but you can feel he is not alright. His shoulders are unusually down and overall his posture is different. 

"Is something wrong?"

You ask with a slightly tilted head to the side. You are not even aware of this, you do it automatically all the time. It's kind of cute but don't expect the Adeptus will say it out loud. He is already confused. He wanted to be alone, why did he come here. He is clearly delaying your bedtime. He should have never come. But the words escaping his lips are even more confusing him. 

"You didn't come..."

Is he really worried about a mortal? Didn't he promise to himself to never get any attachment to anyone? Not even to another Adepti. 

Your next move is really bold and unexpected. Xiao gasps in surprise as you wrap your arms around him.

"Y/n? What are you...?"

Perhaps embracing him would not be the brightest idea if you consider how little he knows about human interactions. But you couldn't help yourself. Feeling a bit guilty for making the poor man worried. He already has a lot on his plate.

"I'm sorry if I did worry you."

You said as you gently rubbed his back, drawing circles in a soothing manner. 

It took him a while to realize what was going on. He seen this act between other mortals but never cared what does it mean. It's just two people are in close proximity, touching each other. But there's something strange about the act. 

Your warmth. 

He didn't feel cold while being outside, he is used to it. But when he feels your warmth he can't help it but feel a bit at ease. When you pull back to check on him, he feels a little... sad? Perhaps he missed the opportunity to repay the act. 

"You know. There's something I had noticed about you, Xiao."

He lifts an eyebrow at you. Unable to contain the curiosity.

"How much do you trust me?" 

You ask while trying to keep your smile. Aware of how much the question doesn’t make sense with what you said before.

Xiao on the other hand is pondering over your question. How much does he trust a mortal like you? And why are you asking him in the first place?

"That's stupid thing to ask. You should have known the answer already."

There we go again. Xiao and his not so sugar coated words. Surely you know he has at least a bit more trust in you than other humans. But would he let you touch him even more? No matter how you put it, it will sound wrong.

"Well then... it just crossed my mind out of nowhere but. Uh... There's something that always bugged me. Do you ever rest or relax at all? I mean yes you do just hang around at Wangshu here and now. But I mean like a real rest..."

You had to stop yourself. Feeling how your monologue was getting worse by each said word.

"I don't need to-"

"Yes, you do." 

Oh no. It slipped out faster than you could think of it. He is silent, eyes slightly narrowed. Did you anger him? It's quite easy to do it after all.

"What do you propose then?"

"Eh?" 

"Don't 'eh' at me. If you think I need to relax then you should have an idea how."

You are finally on the same page. Sometimes you hate your brain to jump into way too fast conclusions. You motion for him to follow you to your living room where you both sit on the sofa. Telling him to sit turned back to you. 

You are sitting behind him. What are you planning? Ah! A gasp escaped his lips making him feel embarrassed. You just barely touched his shoulders. Not even using too much force, just a gentle squeeze to test waters. 

"So, can I give you something that my mom calls a medicine for tired muscles?" 

A simple massage. Just by a single touch you could feel how tense his muscles are. He nods. Being glad you can't see his face now. Biting his bottom lip. He didn't know how much his back actually hurts. Not paying attention to it anymore. But now, he is melting under your touch. 

You try to be gentle but also applying some pressure to help his muscles to relax. You had learned how to massage when you were teen as your mother always had back pain from her work. This was the fastest help, along with pain killers.

Xiao deeply exhales, closing his eyes. He hates to admit it but this feels good, maybe too good. Perhaps he could let his guard down for a bit, at least for now. Letting your skilled fingers caress him. Exhaustion and fatigue is slowly getting under his skin. And this warm feeling, he wants more. Just like when you embraced him a while ago. 

You noticed how much he relaxed under your hands. You can't help it but smile from ear to ear. The mighty Guardian, always so rigid can't endure the pleasant feeling. 

"If you are tired you can sleep over, I don't mind. Unless... you have plans to mess up your back just right when I fix them up?"

You had secretly hoped he wouldn't disappear when you are done. You know when he leaves your place he will go back to his stiff attitude again. 

"Somebody has to keep you safe at night. Take it as a payment..." 

You giggle as he says that. You could tease him about admitting he likes this but decided to rather not.

When you were done and brought him a spare blanket you noticed his blush. Not saying anything and just offering the warm cover. What you did not expect was him grabbing your wrist. 

"Xiao?"

"How can... I keep you safe if you are in the other room?"

Oh damn. Your brain is preoccupied with why he just won't admit he wants to keep you close. 

"Um, you want to move the sofa into my bedroom?" 

He groans. Why you must play dumb now? All he wants is more of your warmth. When you embraced him, when you touched him. He felt at ease  which is new to him. Is it too much to ask for more? Well, maybe he should actually ask and be straight for once.

"Just... stay close." 

"Oh-"

That escalated quickly. For both of you. You decided to spare him from more suffering as you could see his face was slowly turning to tomato color. And you? You weren't much better. Turning off the lights before sliding under the blanket. For once being glad to have a bigger sofa. 

As you are both laying on your sides you feel Xiao's hand hesitantly go over you to pull you closer to him. Don't even think of escaping when he falls asleep. He has you secure. And certainly he won't admit any of this the next morning.

He is tired and confused by his behavior but he decided to blame it on his fatigue. You better don't mention any of this. Not even the way he is having a firm grip of your clothes. Or how quickly he fell asleep.

[pure-kirarin]

Slow & Steady [P2] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)

Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy

A/N : This is really different from my usual writing style but I am experimenting. Please tell me your thoughts and don’t hesitate to ask to be added to the tag list :) AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31877203?view_full_work=true

In the last chapter --  «-Enough playing now, you're going to sleep. -B-but ! This wasn't what I asked for....You're really a coward after all...You virgin... » He carried you to his room, putting you on the bed and sitting next to you. «-I'd love to prove you wrong. However, it would be better if you were in a state where you'd be able to recall how good I am. If you want me to fuck you this badly then maybe ask me when you're sober.

Part I - Part II

Part II  -Yeah yeah...Pff..You're no fun Sabo. Things were finally getting interesting ! »

He smiled seeing that you were now calmer. You started to yawn and bury your face in his pillow. He loved to see you getting so comfortable in his room. He really needed a cold shower after your little show.  -Goodnight (Y/N). I'll sleep on the couch. You can get comfortable. -Are you crazyy ? You gonna leave me alone like this ? Let's sleep together~ -Come on (Y/N), you're a big girl. You could sleep alone for one night, would you ? Translation : I don't want to spend the whole night with a semi. And you're dangerously flirty, and I have wanted you for years and now I have to abstain.

-Pleaaaase. You said looking at him with puppy eyes. He rolled his eyes placing a hand in his hair. God.damn.it.

You won again. Like every time. * * *  You opened your eyes hardly next day, feeling something hard against your thigh. You looked at the ceiling

Oh...I am not in my room...Where the fuck am I ?

you turn around only to discover the embodiment of Adonis to your side. A light beam was lighting up Sabo's face. He looked like an angel as his beauty couldn't be that of a human.

Was he always this handsome ?

You didn't know, in fact, you have never had the occasion to wake up in his bed. Wait, in his bed ? This realization came slowly as your head was still foggy from yesterday's consumption.

You looked down, the thing that was pressing against your leg was indeed :

his thing.

You frowned, blushed, pulled away, put a hand on your lips repressing an internal scream, all of this in around three seconds. You then tried to calm down, telling yourself that it was very normal for a man to experience this kind of morning unconviniences, and that Sabo was a man, after all. Even if  you have always seen him as a bestfriend, he was still a man that is capable of physical attraction.

Now that this internal monologue was done with, you felt a bit calmer, but that didn't answer your question. You got out of bed, trying to recall what happened after going in the bar. And it came back. All of it. Without any mercy for your feelings.

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your only wish was to disappear which meant : calling Nami. You headed out of the house, not even having the courage to face your bestfriend.

« Namiiiii -Uh ? What's the matter ? -I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. -Oh yeah ? Tell me about it. -Wait, why do you seem excited ? -O-oh I'm not excited. Come on tell me. What else could you have possibly done ? -I asked Sabo to fuck me. -Wait what ? You could hear Vivi ask Nami about what happened and her answering « She asked Sabo to fuck her ». -Nami ! Don't go on telling everyone about this. I'm on my way. -For starters, Vivi isn't « everyone », she's my girlfriend. And I'm here waiting for you to tell me what happened. -Wait, I'll come at your place. This can't be discussed over the phone. »

You hung up on her. Ten minutes later, you were at her place. Extremely confused. Nami was painting her nails bright red on the bed while Vivi was sitting comfortably on a chair. You let your whole body weight fall on a lounge pug, tourmented.  «-So tell me how you and Sabo ended up fucking. She emphasized the last word in a way that made you almost choke on air.  -We didn't actually. Nami and Vivi both sighed in a synchronized « Ah » of disappointment. -So hmm...I don't remember clearly. I was really drunk-- well that you're aware of and...And Sabo didn't want to leave me alone so we went to his place. Ace was at Thatch's so we were alone. We hugged and he comforted me. Then I started teasing him, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I kissed him, and then I asked him to fuck me. -Wow that escalated quickly. Said Nami as she continued painting her nails.

-Well, I was heartbroken, I needed something, someone, and he was there, and you know Sabo, he's a good guy ! I don't know what's worse, the fact that I asked him to fuck me or the fact that he said no.

-Oh god I'm so so sorry

- Nami please don't make things worse for me.

-No offense, but you're so dense. Sabo has always been into you. Do you want him, or do you not ? I know that going right into a relationship after a breakup is a bad idea. But honestly it's worth giving it a shot. He's a really good guy. Try dating someone nice for once.

-I don't know, he has something unsettling about him. Like « almost too good to be true » you know ? Added Vivi.

-Ohhh~ I see. Honestly, I always thought that he was a bit prude and hella vanilla. I mean, yes, he's my best friend. But he has never talked about girls to me or about sexual stuff. So I just assumed that. I never thought that he'd be packin' like that. You said as you popped a lollipop in your mouth.

-Ah ? Was it really that impressive ? asked Nami, genuinely curious.

-Yeah. On a scale from 0 to doflamingo he's a solid eight point seventy five. (*)

-Oh gosh. I understand why you're so worked up now.

-That's really...precise. Added Vivi, a bit horrified.

(*) [ The dear reader might need this clarification ; Doflamingo was Law's uncle, he sometimes came to pick him up after uni with his luxurious lamborghini. He wore extremely tight pants that left little to the imagination. And he was most known among your clique for having a nine incher. It was a running joke wether to know if Law got his uncle's genes. Needless to say that this joke wasn't to Law's taste. Now back to our adorable Y/N. ]

-So. I really don't know what to do. I am still heartbroken. -And horny. Added the ginger. -Yeah, that too. I'm afraid of ruining our friendship. -Listen dear, said Nami as she was closing the nail polish bottle, if you're not going for it, someone else would. And trust me, that girl Koala is upping her game. She's going to steal him right in front of your eyes, just like this - and she snapped her fingers. -Oh, and then, you can forget about being « best friends ». Said Vivi adding fuel to the fire. -Yeah, once he's gonna start dating, he won't have too much time for you-- and then, that Koala girl, my god, she seems extremely possessive ! -No way, your voice was detached, trying to act is if you weren't worried, Sabo has never dated any girl before.- -Yes but he seems to get along with that girl. And to be honest, she's kinda cute.

-Nami ! Vivi pinched her forearm playfully, pretending to be jealous.

-That hurt ! And don't be jealous, you know that you're my only one~

-Hmm...I prefer that. Vivi laughed. You started caughing reclaiming for their attention.

-Attention please ! We're discussing my dick-appointment here.

-Jesus you're really annoying, (Y/N), just go for it already.

-How much did he pay you to tell me this huh ?

-What ? He didn't pay me ! You're just always getting your heart broken. I'm just trying to be a good friend.

-Say that you are trying to get rid of her~ Jokes Vivi.

-Vivi, don't expose me like this- Nami plays along while laughing.

-I hate you girls ! You say as you throw a pillow on Nami. The ginger starts complaining that you messed her Nail polish, and the whole scene metamorphosed into a pillow fight.

* * *

You spent the whole day with the girls, chit-chatting about boys and girls and playing stupid games. You felt way more comfortable now, less ashamed. However, you were surprised because you didn't get a message from your bestfriend. You wondered wether he was mad at you, it wasn't in his habits.

You decided to message Ace [click for conversation] [ (Y/N) : Heyy amigo is Sabo ok ? Did he tell u smth abt yesterday ? Ace : Ouch, your hurting my feelings, </3 Only talking to me to ask about my brother~ Yea hes okay why tho ? (Y/N) : Ooo kay. He's home ? Ace : He is. Why don't u directly text him ? (Y/N) : Don't tell him I asked. Btw I didn't forget about those 10 bucks you « borrowed » from me. Give it back.] He didn't answer. You sighed and decided to go see Sabo to settle things down. It was the first time that you were embarrassed to see your best friend. You dressed up in a black skirt and t shirt. You didn't usually pay attention to your looks when you went to hang out at Sabo's, but you were really stressed out and what the girls have said about Koala made you scared of losing him. After all, you had some abandonment issues. You had to settle this down once and forever. You arrived at the guy's place, it was an apartment not so far from your own student flat. You knocked on the door and Ace opened : -Ohhh, (Y/N), he whistles, lookin' like a girl today huh ? -What are you implying you dumbass ? Where's Sabo ? -He's in his room with Koala.- -Wait what ? Koala ? What is she doing here ? Ace raised an eyebrow then said amused ; -I don't know, go ask him yourself. -You're useless as usual. -Always so sweet. You on your period or something ? -I didn't forget about my twenty bucks by the way. -I said I'm goin' to pay you back alright ? Now go talk to Sabo. You and Ace were always teasing each other in a brotherly way, but in reality, he really cared for you, it was just your usual way of communication. But it was true that knowing that Koala was in Sabo's room put you in a bad mood. You knocked on the door with a knot in your stomach. Did they start dating ? Was Sabo interested in her ? These ideas were torturing you. But why did you care anyways ? It was none of your business. He could date whoever he wants. You opened the door but there was only Sabo relaxing on his bed, still fully clothed. « - Sabo ?-Oh, (Y/N), what brings you here ? -Why ? Do I need a reason to see my best friend ? He sits on bed looking at you. He doesn't fail to notice your cute outfit, it was different from your usual sweatpants and hoodies, the way it complemented your figure was almost too much for him. Just that sight was driving him insane, but his face didn't betray his emotions, like always, he acted friendly, not an ounce of lust in his dark ebony eyes. You took place next to him. He smelled good, you thought. The same fresh minty smell as last time. Did he always smell this good ? -(Y/N) ?Huh ? Is everything okay ? His voice seemed concerned.He cared for you. And you had those stupid immature and posessive thoughts. Get a grip of yourself, (Y/N), you thought. -Oh yea-- wasn't Koala here ? Ace told me you were with her.

You tried so hard to act like you didn't care, but he knew you like the back of his hand. But still, he played along. -Hmm..Yes. She just left. I was going out as well. He says with a sweet smile, looking at his watch. You couldn't help but make a disappointed face. -But Sabo I wanted to - I'm really sorry (Y/N), let's talk later. He ruffles your hair and you close your eyes as he does so. You felt stressed out. What happened exactly ? You felt intimidated in his presence for the first time. You wanted him to stay and talk this out. It was a bit awkward for you now. You never thought too much. As he was going out of the room you held the fabric of his coat tight in your hand ; -Sabo- -Hum ? Need me to drop you somewhere ? -N-no. You let his sleeve go, realizing what you have just done, I'll stay a bit then go back home. Don't worry about me. -Alright then. See you later ? -Yeah. See ya. ]

You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn't the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn't even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo. But why ? He didn't do anything. He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.

He didn't even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.

A few days have passed and you didn't get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn't feel ready.

Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.

Who were you exactly to him ?

Maybe you took him for granted.

As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo's ringtone ! ----- Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)

[emf005]

Disguised Part 1

Jack x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, blood, fights, angst

Hop you guys like! Sorry it took so long to get this out I have had one heck of a week.. lolol.. Please comment and let me know what you think!

Ten Years Earlier:

There were flames everywhere. As a seven year old you had no clue what was happening. It was hot, but it was winter. You couldn’t breathe. Your eyes burned and so did your lungs.

Your skin was alive with pain and stinging. You felt painfully numb. Was that even a feeling?

You coughed. And then coughed again, harder.

The room swam and you tripped over something, hitting the floor with full force. You stared at the door you had been searching for. There it was, finally. But out of reach. Why did it seem everything was always out of reach for you? Just too small to reach the top shelf, just too young to sit with the grown ups, just too female to do anything of importance…

Tears leaked from your eyes, and not just from physical pain.

The door opened and more smoke fled in. You heard footsteps running in and, with the last bit of energy you pushed yourself up. You saw the blurry edges of a familiar neighbor.

Charlie?

Then you passed out.

Xx

You woke up in a cot a few days later. Looking around the small room you realized that you were alone.

Where were you?

You heard voices and then footsteps. You shut your eyes tight again just as the door opened.

Someone sat down on your bed.

“I’s knows yous ain’t sleepin’.” Your eyes flew open and you looked up at Charles. A crutch leaned on the cot, but you didn’t pay mind. You jumped onto him, ignoring the pulling of your healing burns. You buried your head in his neck. He grabbed onto you and held you close, just as frightened as you, though he’d tell you he wasn’t. He was three years older than you and the brother you never had.

"What happened? Where am I? Where's mum and dad?" You asked. The questions pouring out of you. The last you saw them, they had been unconscious in the living room.

Instead of answering he just hugged you to his chest tighter…

Present day:

"Strike!" The Newsies, your unofficial brothers, screamed in response to Jack's very lengthy and moving monologue.

He leapt off the stage and started talking to Charles… Well, Crutchie now. He hadn't gone by that name since the fire happened and you two became newsies.

Nobody knew you were a girl and you preferred to keep it that way… although, A bit of extra attention from a certain Jack Kelly wouldn't be so bad. But beggars can't be choosers.

You watched as Katherin Plummer walked up to him and you felt your stomach drop. Rich, pretty, and successful. How could you beat that? Especially when he didn’t know you were a girl and he didn’t know your feelings.You sighed and walked to meet up with them, tasseling Race’s hair as you walked by him. He shoved you and you laughed.

“Hey!” You leaned on Crutchie’s shoulder as you joined the group. “Beautiful speech, Jacky-boy,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’s think you’s gotta future as a politician.”

“Oh hardy hardy har, Scabs.”

Scabs.

Your name.

It was pretty appropriate for a few reasons. When you and Crutchie first joined you had healing burn marks and cuts all over your body. All of them scabbing. You also always had some sort of cut on you. That you were picking at, hence all your scars. Being a newsie, especially one with a big secret, caused a lot of anxiety, you couldn’t help it.

You smirked at him and shook your head.

“So, wheres we go from here?”

“That's a question for Davey.”

“Well, where is-” before you could get your statement out, chaos broke out. You turned around to see the Delancies break into the theatre with cops on their heels. You swore, and Jack pulled Katherine to get her out of the way. She willingly applied.

Delicate little-

You didn’t get to finish your thought before you had started shoving the cops and Delancies, entering the brawl with full force.

You watched as all the boys started to get their asses kicked and then get out of the theatre. You and Jack somehow ended up side by side, fighting the delancies as the cops chased after the others. But then you saw him.

Snider the Spider stared Jack down, an evil grin on his face.

Not on your watch.

“Jack, get outta here!” You screamed. Jack looked at you.

“No!”

“Jack! Just do it!”

“But-”

“GO!” He was so startled that he dodged his last punch and ran up into the catwalk of Medda’s place. You fought off the Delancies and ran. Turning around only when you herald CRutchie scream for mercy.

You turn and see the delancies and Spider standing over him.

“Crutch!” You scream and run back over even faster than you had running away, barreling over sand bags and loose wires.

The Delancies and Snider watched you and left CRutchie alone coming after you instead. You watched as Crutchie crawled away.

Morris came at you with a swing. You easily dodged it and threw him into his brother who stumbled back into Snider. You laughed and turned, about to make your get away. Instead you ran straight into an officer who threw you back onto the floor. Morris and Oscar attacked, like hungry piranhas, though they at least were prettier and smelled better.

You felt pain erupt all over you until it was gone and you felt nothing, saw nothing, and for a few hours were nothing…

Xx

Jack stumbled back into the Manhattan Newsies’ terf. The boys were all hanging around, checking on each other after the brawl.

He couldn’t believe they got Crutchie.

“Damn Crip,” he mumbled, shaking his head, not knowing what to do next.

“Jack!” he looked up when Race called his name. He came running up to him. “Jack, where Scab?”

“Scab?” Jack’s eyes widened. No. They couldn’t have gotten you, too. You-you had run. He saw you.

He heard the familiar Thunk Thunk of a crutch. He looked up and saw Crutchie a bit battered, but alive and here.

“Crutchie!?” The crippled boy swallowed, tears in his eyes.

“They-they got ‘er, Jack.” he rasped out. “Jack-they they got ‘er.”

He collapsed, his crutch falling out from under him. Jack caught him and Race left, letting them talk alone.

“Who’s her, Crutchie? WHo’s got her? How did you escape?” Crutchie swallowed.

“Y/N, they got, Y/N.”

“Who has her,” Jack said, a bit confused not knowing Crutchie had himself a girl.

“Snider!” He exploded, hitting Jack’s chest. “They got ‘er, Jack! They got ‘er.” He sobbed, his voice breaking.

“Ok, ok. How did he get your girl, Crutchie. Just calm down and explain it.” Crutchie stared at him for a second not understanding why he was acting like he was until he realized he used your real name.

Crutchie settled himself and took a breath.

“Jack, Y/N is Scab.” Jack stared at his friend for a moment.

“What?’ Crutches sighed and lowered himself to the ground.

“I think you need to have a seat, Jack.

Xx

You had woken up in the refuge, staring at the ceiling, a thin stream of moonlight streamed through the small barred slit in the wall that was considered a “window”. You were almost as wanted as Jack was. Only the best accommodations for the Enemy number 2, right?

You sighed and shivered as the wind blew in and froze your toes, the scratchy, old, thin blanket doing nothing to protect you.

“Y/N!” You look up to see Crutchie at the slit in the wall. You eyes widen and you spring up, running to him.

“Crutch! What are you doin’ here. Are you dumb or something?”

“I needed to make sure you were ok, kid.” You sighed. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” you put your head on the bars. “How are the boys? Everyone makes it out alright?”

“Yeah, but I have someone who wants ta see ya.”

He stepped out of the way and revealed Jack. You stared at him and knew immediately that he knew. That Crutchie had told him. You had never wanted to kill the boy who was like your brother more in your life.

“Hey, Scab, how ya doin’?”

“You told him,” you glared at Crutchie and he looked away, not being able to meet your eyes. “The hell, Crutch!” You shouted as loud as you dared. Snider was listening… always was… and you didn’t want to get the boys caught.

“Scab-er-Y/N, are you ok?” Jack asked, concern filling his expression. You looked at him, grateful for the street lights that hid your face, yet illuminated his.

“I’m fine, Jack. Did anyone else get caught?”

They shook their heads and you sighed.

“Good.” You heard footsteps coming down the hall. You looked over your shoulder and swallowed. They heard you. They had to of.”You guys should get going.”

“But-”

“Do yous wanna get caught?” he swallowed and shook his head.

“We’ll get you outta here.”

“No, Jacky-boy, I don’t think you will. Do the strike and do it good. Win.” He opened his mouth to object, but you looked at Crutchie. “Get ‘im and yourself outta here before yous get caught.” He looked down and tugged Jack’s sleeve, pulling him away from you. As they made their way down the fire escapes he caught a glimpse of you in the light and his eyes widened with horror as he took in your face. Bloodied, bruised, and puffy. They had got you good… and that was not going to fly...

[blackbat05]

I need a break

Shangqi x Reader (Platonic) 

A/N: I feel like I’m loosing steam towards the end of my placement and wow I have never needed a break this badly before. Perhaps a short Shangqi x Reader imagine where they are both University students. Seriously at this rate I’ll just be solely a Shangqi writer HAHAHA. Doing this on my phone because I don’t want to open my work computer. Let’s see where this impromptu idea takes me to. Hope you enjoy it and as always like and comment if you wish!

Genre: PG-13

Warnings: None really, just friends supporting each other! I guess there’s an inaccurate timeline if you look at the MCU but hey this is an imagine plus if you look at some of the wiki pages, Shangqi is actually born in 1998/1999. So appreciate if you’re kind enough to go with the flow to read this comfort fic! 

‘Y/N!’ Shangqi rushes to catch up with you after class. You made an effort to conceal your tiredness but he saw it right through. ‘Gosh…you alright?’

You think to yourself. Were you really alright? The answer was pretty obvious. You were ten weeks into your placement and your emotions were a jumbled up mess. Having to deal with work responsibilities was one problem, school assignments were another issue all together. At this point, you felt like you were just getting through each week for the sake of it.

At first, you believed that what you were going through was simply a transition to becoming an adult. You thought that naturally, you would be able to persevere through the stressful periods by yourself. But of course, it has been hard.

You were a social work intern at a neighborhood youth centre, thirty minutes away if you took the train and bus. The work was fulfilling in it’s own ways, but recently there were self-doubts filling your brain, if you were really cut out for the job in the future. If you weren’t, what else could you do?

As you sat with Shangqi in the school’s student-ran cafe, you found yourself pouring out the exact same concerns to him. Credit to him, Shangqi never interrupted your monologue, he just simply listened. That’s what best friends were for. That’s what you did for him to when he ran into issues with his family.

Even then, he couldn’t deny that hearing you doubt yourself broke his heart. He had known you since high school. You mostly kept to yourself and one or two close friends. Despite joining the school’s athletic team where you were one of the main athletes, you preferred to stay in the shadows unlike some of your teammates. That didn’t stop you from going out of your way to help other students in need; like helping the girl who was in an arm cast to copy the social studies notes, even if it meant you had to do it twice. Or maybe just talking to a friend who was stressed out about their results.

Basically, you had studied your ass off to get a secured spot at this university who were only one of the few that offered the degree. He remembers you telling him the moment you got your offer, ‘I’m finally good at something. I don’t have to worry anymore!’

Shangqi wasn’t stupid. The pandemic had done some crazy things. And by crazy, it affected the self-esteem that you had been working so hard on by participating in various projects and events, with you being in charge of a drama production that was promoting on mental health. That was a big deal considering that you were a major introvert.

Online engagement was never easy. In fact he has heard some of your struggles that you’ve shared with him regarding this and it only makes him admire you even more. For someone who preferred to keep to themselves, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, to take on a role that wasn’t just simply about helping people - that took guts.

‘I’m sorry I’m just loading you with all this. I just feel…’ You trailed off, suddenly becoming emotional again. Again, Shangqi does not pry. ‘That I can’t do anything right.’ You emphasize that you had ended the statement for you were unsure that you could keep your cool if you had tried to continue on.

‘If I hear you saying sorry another time,’ he chides, ‘you’re paying for our meal later.’ Your lips curved upwards slightly before returning to its somber position. Shangqi decides that a meal won’t cut it. He needs to deploy ‘Operation Y/N’. Standing up with your buzzer to collect the food, Shangqi whips out his phone. There will be a few changes for today.

Food was definitely a cure in this situation, but it was only a part of the solution. After inhaling your ramen at light speed, Shangqi tells you that today will be a different Friday. ‘And you can’t complain! It’ll be a weekend tmr,’ he tells you. So why not? You figured that even if you went back home early, your head wouldn’t be in the right place to complete the essay for your English module.

‘Hold up! The VR studio that Katy was talking about?’ You look at the tickets inside the taxi that was taking you and Shangqi to the location. ‘How did you even, it was so hard to get these tickets!’ From the time Shangqi met you outside the classroom, he had yet to see you so ecstatic. Until now.

‘Well,’ Shangqi gives his best shrug. ‘I called in a favor from a friend. Said that it was for emergency purposes.’ He raised his fingers to make connotations in the air much to your amusement.

‘Wow… just how much do I not know about you Mr Popular?’ You teased. Shangqi decides to leave the fact on him having to persuade the Wakandan Princess in giving him free tickets.

‘Please! I swear whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it! It’s for Y/N!’

‘Ey well why didn’t you say so? If it’s for that nice friend, of course!’ Shuri leaves the entrance of the compound, an exasperated Shangqi trailing behind.

Yeah, the VR studio that Katy told them about was also funded by King T’Challa himself. With stunning life like visuals thanks to Wakandan technology, the VR studio was located in a middle class neighborhood. T’Challa believed that no matter where kids came from, they should have the right to enjoy and to explore the world. For now, he wasn’t ready to share that he was on the way on becoming a full-fledged Avenger yet - you just had too much on your plate. He’ll just have to settle with this white lie.

‘Is Katy coming?’ You were on the verge of vibrating off your seat. ‘She would love this place!’ Even when you were struggling, Y/N still manages to think about other people. Today, Y/N will put her needs first.

As if to answer your previous question, you can see an equally excited Katy waiting for the two of you at the roundabout. ‘HEL-LO EVERYONE! LET’S GET OUR FRIDAY STARTED IN PROPER SHALL WE?’ Her loud voice had attracted stares, some very displeased looks too but at this point in time, you didn’t give a damn. Katy was right, it was time to enjoy!

You wished that you could slow down time, or even replay it continuously when you needed cheering up because the only thing you felt was pure happiness - euphoria even. Your stomach was in knots for laughing hysterically together with Katy when Shangqi jumped in shock from a surprise scare from a zombie. ‘I’m keeping that for leverage,’ she tells you, quietly slipping her phone into her fanny pack. 

The Wakandans had really outdone themselves this time. Your favorite VR was the paradise VR. Slipping the headgear, you say goodbye to the smiles of Katy and Shangqi, whisking away to a beach that oddly reminded you of your dream destination - Hawaii. From where you were standing, you were surrounded by green and majestic islands. Despite their sheer size, you weren’t intimidated. In fact, you were healing. 

Your mind was no longer in the room of the VR studio. How could it when the sun kissed your skin, giving you the much needed energy that you were lacking for so long? In the room, the two sees you kick your shoes to the side, going barefoot. It may have seem strange, but with the monitor beside you, your actions were perfectly logical. 

As a kid, you used to despise the prickly feeling of sand in between your toes. But now, you grew to love the sensation that each grain of sand had on your skin. It made you feel grounded, that everything was going to be ok. You raise your virtual hand to touch your face - were you crying? 

‘She must have been really stressed huh?’ Katy whispers to Shangqi who nods in return. How he hated the fact that you were giving so much to your work but still felt underappreciated. Forget the Avengers with superhuman abilities, you were the true MVP. The VR ends and you remove your headgear. ‘I’m ok,’ you automatically reassure them despite the dry tears left on both cheeks. You step down the platform slowly, trying to regain sense of the real world. 

What you didn’t expect was the two embracing you in a hug, squishing you in between them. Maybe that had set off the waterworks. For someone like Katy, she had sage advice.

‘Life can be pretty shitty right? But I’m so proud of you fighting it Y/N. Just remember that it’s ok to be weak. I mean, I’ve seen worse from Shangqi,’ she jabs her finger towards his direction, earning a glare from him. That’s Katy, always trying to add a bit of humor to this grey world. Calming down, you let go of the both of them. ‘Thanks guys, for everything.’ 

‘Hey,’ Shangqi responds, slinging his arm over your shoulder. ‘We’re friends, so we don’t leave each other behind.’ Phone beeping, he retrieves it to check the message. ‘And look at that, nice timing. Who wants Korean BBQ?’ 

Trailing behind them, you get an amusing view of Shangqi bickering with Katy on how many Soju bottles she’s allowed to order later. As San Francisco welcomed the night, you were just thankful that you had the two of them to walk through this crazy maze called life. 

‘Last one to the shop is paying!’ 

‘Oh you’re on Mister!’  

A/N: I really just think that this was also an imagine for me to cope too. So I can only hope to finish my placement/assignments/exams well! To anyone who does studies and work simultaneously, I fucking respect you (allow me to use expletives for now, these people deserve the respect). If you’re going through a stressful time, I hope this brings the slightest comfort for you and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Again, thank you for reading! 

[physicalturian]

[G] Gentle summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader - Part 7

[Contains spoilers from the movie, and the manga] [No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Words : 11 509

Archive of our own

Warning: nudity / Intimacy / Prepare some tissues

Inspired by those works : First Second Third on Twitter

— Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

I am seeing him again today, was the only thought running without ever stopping in my mind. Thrill and excitement were filling my entire being. That energy was put to good use by walking a lot, I barely saw time fly by. We did stop too many times for my taste, but complaining would do me no good. Instead, I was counting down the remaining distance until we reached the estate. I received a few comments from the most daring recruits, when my pace started getting too fast. Uchiyama was the recruit in question, he did not feel one ounce of fear towards me, even knowing I was his captain. He had put a hand on my shoulder and frowned. “Captain, are we in a hurry or something?” was what he had told me the time I dared speed up.

Chuckling, almost bashfully, I’d shaken my head and slowed down, “You are right, there is no rush. Should we take a break and eat?” When I heard the small voices behind agreeing, we all thought it best to settle for a while and have lunch. It did not take them long to finish their meal, even amidst their laughter and jokes. I was glad to see them so carefree after all they had been through. The look in their eyes had changed from the time they had joined the corps; they had lived through events that shaped the soul in the most awful ways, and I could see it in the absence of a glimmer in their gaze. Even with that change, I had them alive by my side and matured, it was the closest I could get to a success.

Losing myself in thoughts, I pondered more.

We had suffered losses, but what better way to mourn than to remember the good times we had and to keep living? To best honor the dead is to live a life we would define as worth it. Not to let others define it, but to feel in the depth of our core that we made the best of it, in our own way. Then again, everyone mourned differently. Takeshi and Daisuke were proof of that. The former had needed a lot of time alone; everyone had been there to support him, trying to joke around and to keep things as they were before all of it happened. Daisuke, while he kept a huge smile on his face, saw more than he should have at such a young age. He played it off, he kept his armour on, even if sorrow was written all over his face.

Many recruits were aware their friends died somehow, but they did not see it unfold in front of their eyes. But Daisuke had seen his partner get killed in front of him. It left him scarred, in the depth of his being, thatI knew from the relentless nights I spent by his side trying to calm his night terrors. Only time could help with the things he had gone through, but being with others that had lived through some of those things with him also had helped greatly. Seeing them knit-tight close was heartwarming.

It almost made me forget what was coming, what we were all getting ready for. Blinking out of my thoughts, I had come to the realization I was not participating much in the conversation.

I kept a certain distance from them when I was eating a bit further away. However, the distance was more than physical. I hated myself for doing so, but I could not let them get too close in case I lost them during this last battle. That thought crossed my mind too many times during this entire mission. Every time one of them came up to me for help, for advice, or even friendship, I would welcome them, but my heart would tell me it was a bad idea. Yet, I kept telling them to not hesitate if they needed to talk. A wrong move was the only way I would describe it, but I was their mentor, and we all needed some reassurance from time to time. I was the main provider of that reassurance, no matter how much I tried to talk sense into my actions of getting close to them.

“Captain! We should resume, I believe we just might arrive by lunch if we walk a bit faster,” Hana said enthusiastically. She helped everyone pack after I told her we could do that, adding that it would be great to have a warm meal and see everyone. I kept to myself the excitement I was feeling to finally see Kyojuro again; it was hard to do so with the little shivers I would get. The weather was far from cold, but the idea of seeing his beautiful face again, to be finally able to hold him, to enjoy more of him than that fleeting moment at the fireworks when our lips finally met, it sent energy coursing through my body.

As I was leading everyone, I could hear the loudest of my recruits talk in what they thought was a whisper, “Come on Jin, do you like the Captain? Is that why you’re all-“ Not wanting Jin to combust in embarrassment, I called out over my shoulder sternly, “Uchiyama, leave him alone. I suggest you learn the difference between admiration and love,” Pausing, I quickly added in a lighter tone, “Anyone would be amazed by my fighting skills, I could take you all in a fight,” I huffed jokingly. A few of them laughed and told Uchiyama he should keep his mouth shut, even adding that if the Captain was the one to reprimand him, he had fucked up. Seeing how everyone resumed talking merrily together, Daisuke approached me, bumping my shoulder, a bit too familiar for my taste but I let him.

“Say, you’re a bit quiet in the front. Is everything alright? You don’t seem excited to return to the estate,” Daisuke said, worry laced in his tone. His demeanor made him look smaller than he actually was, he acted shy and unsure of his movements, but all of that disappeared when he entered a fight. It was interesting to know he was the one I had seen fight with determination, with no hesitation in his motions, only raw strength capable of cutting body parts. He was the same man that had been by my side the entire month and throughout fights even as fear had overrun his body. Daisuke was a great addition to the corps and to my closer circle, even if I wanted to keep him away from me in case I lost him.

Looking at him with a playful smile, I lowered my tone and whispered, “If I may be honest with you, I am more than excited to return. However, it will not do us any good to have me all over the place,” I huffed a laugh, surprising Daisuke. A curious brow rose on his expressive face, “I’ve never seen you like this! Is there something waiting for you at the estate? Wait—is it the person you’ve been exchanging letters with?” He asked a bit too rapidly, his speech faster than usual from how thrilled he was. It made me chuckle more, my face heating up lightly, but I could blame it on the long trek we had started and not tell him I was flustered at the mere thought of Kyojuro. “It is, I have someone waiting for me,” and no words can really express how much I miss him, I thought, nodding with a chuckle.

“Can I ask who it is? I am curious now!” He asked in hushed whispers, a genuine smile adorning his features. Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at how childish he sounded. But, it was heartwarming to see his interest, so I replied, “If you must know, it is the Fire Pillar-“ “Sir Rengoku! That is so grand! An intense man indeed, but definitely not as intense as sir Himejima, I remember my training with him…” He then started talking about his experience with Gyomei, I listened intently. For some reason, I preferred having him talk about himself than having him prying in my personal life. I still felt odd mentioning I was with Rengoku, no matter how much I loved him, simply because I was not sure people would take it well that we are having our own fun while a big battle was brewing.

I enjoyed having Daisuke talk by my side as we made our way back to the Butterfly Estate, of course I would not let him have a monologue, I would intervene and ask questions. Everyone was bantering light-heartedly behind us, which almost made the situation normal; I did not know if it was on purpose, to try to keep this faux-semblance of normality or if they were really carefree. The latter would be hard to believe, considering all they had been through recently, but I liked the idea of still having them optimistic and hopeful. How ironic.

The further we walked, the faster my heart was beating. I thought talking with Daisuke would help calm my rapidly beating heart, but all it did was embarrass me. I would sometimes stammer, my speech being faster than what it would usually be. That’s when I decided to keep my tongue in check and not speak as much as I would have liked. Daisuke did not find any inconvenience to that; I had seen his short smile the few times his gaze would look at the way my hand was clenching the handle of my sword. If I did not do that, I would have been drumming my fingers or playing with my hands from how stressed I was.

It took us a few hours of walking to finally reach the estate. Fortunately, the sun was high above our heads, meaning we had arrived around midday. It means more time with him, I thought eagerly. I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from running to the doors and tried my hardest to slow my pulse down. Everyone was chattering happily, some saying they could use a bath, others craved a bowl of rice, and I knew the quiet ones were longing for a good night’s sleep in a warm futon.

I longed for his arms. I wanted to run all around the estate to find him and throw myself at him, not caring if anyone was watching, not caring if he’d fall down. Would he be as excited as I was? Would he allow me to be this open? I am sure he would, he has never been discrete even before we officially got together, I thought with a smile.

“Captain, you can go find him if you’d like! I’ll get everyone to their room-“ “No, it’s alright. I am not that desperate,” a lie. A blatant lie. The pressure in my chest was insufferable, my insides were churning, more shivers ran down my spine with each step I took towards the mansion. If I put more thought into being aware of my entire body, I would feel how my feet were uncoordinated and my hands were clammy. Excitement was at its peak, and I knew I was more than desperate. I was aching to hold him, to touch him, to love him… “If you say so! We should hurry and get some food,” Daisuke startled me out of my thoughts.

Telling everyone to walk ahead, I made sure to secure the gate once we had stepped inside. They all seemed as excited as children on a field trip to the forest. I had a hard time feeling like that because my mind kept wandering to the thought of Kyojuro. When the recruits entered the estate, I stepped around the building and made my way to where I believed Rengoku could have been training his group. I made sure to hide my presence to not startle him and keep him focused. “One, two, three, and again! The other way, one, two, slash! Good work, good work! You are all improving greatly, I am sure we can go even further! Let’s try this again,” Hearing his voice made my heart burst with joy, but I kept my composure and leaned from behind the wall to catch a glimpse of his features.

I was caught off guard when I realized a new scar was adorning his beautiful face. While it was covered by an eye patch, I could see the pinkened skin on his cheek. All my excitement turned into panic, what had I missed? What had happened that left him like that? “You! Come here, try with me. If you manage to hit me, everyone gets a break, let’s begin!” I heard him speak loudly, his voice roaring like thunder as always. I got startled when he had called out the recruit, then realized he was not talking to me and sighed in relief.

He was smiling broadly, his hair sticking to his face as usual even if it was tied back. He did not seem to mind one bit to be lacking part of his sight and yet I could not help but feel pity. Would he want that? I do not think so, but there was no helping it. I wanted to interrupt him and talk to him aside, but seeing him training so hard, his determination unchanged and his skills just as sharp, I had to let him work.

Deciding to leave him alone until he would retire to his chambers, I turned around and was about to walk back to my recruits when my path was blocked by someone. That someone being the Sound Pillar.

“You’re back, why don’t you go talk to him?” He puffed his chest, his arms low on his stomach, hands hidden in the huge sleeves of his attire, as he looked at me with what looked like disdain. He seemed changed too; just like Rengoku, he had an eye patch. His was a lot less simple however, it was covered with little jewels. The married man was not wearing his Pillar outfit either, no. Instead, he had his hair down and had opted for a kimono that was very loose on the top, enough to show off his muscles. While I wanted to think he was showing off, the weather was warm and heavy, which could explain his attire. Trying to act casual, I shrugged, “He is busy,” I said off-handedly, looking to the side.

“See, you can’t look away now! It’s awkward enough that you’ve stared and all,” He grumbled, I quickly apologized, meeting his eyes again with a small smile. “God, you’re making this so awkward and for what?” He scoffed, annoyed, before gesturing for me to follow him with a motion of his head; as I did, I asked in all seriousness, “Do not be frustrated at me, how would you feel if when you returned from a long mission everyone had changed drastically?” The man had since calmed down and looked over his shoulder, his gaze observant and calculating. “Change is a big word, don’t you think? I like to say we were sketches, drafts, and now we are the final product, that is all.” He said, in the hopes of sounding poetic perhaps. “Each stroke is what makes the art, right? You paint over the lines you don’t like; you leave the one you feel makes it better, and sometimes when you accidentally brush over the paper, it looks great. Accidents are great.”

Offering him a slight chuckle, not really getting his metaphor, I nodded as I sat down when he did. He had guided us back inside, in one of the tea rooms and had gestured for me to pour us a cup each. I did not comment on his words. “What happened?” I asked as I brought the burning cup to my lips. It was not the greatest weather to drink such a warm beverage, but I enjoyed it, nonetheless. “You cannot ask someone how they got their scar-“ “Uzui, I am serious. Is there anyone that did not make it? Why was I not made aware of all the damage everyone had taken?” His demeanor changed greatly. While he had an air of playfulness, light-heartedness even, seconds ago, now he looked at me sternly.

Sighing, he leaned back on one hand and brought one knee closer to his chest, “The district was attacked, I am retired, nothing more,” He paused, giving me a long stare before continuing, “For the others, it happened at the swordsmith village. No one died, I think Ren took the most damage and he is doing great, as you’ve seen,” I had. I had seen how he looked, but even behind this enthusiastic attitude, I was certain he was exhausted and in pain, he had shared that at least through his letters.

I felt hurt that he had not told me about his injury, but I could not feel anger yet. He must have had a good reason to do so, and to find out I would have to talk with him. “Are you retiring with your wives or will they be continuing-“ “Of course I’m retiring with my gals! I’m just here to help train recruits, they need to be in perfect shape if they want to be able to carry my legacy,” He said with a loud laugh, I joined him in his joy with more modesty.

He had indeed not changed much, but there was still something different about him. Uzui had always been mature, as much as it pained me to admit it, but he seemed even more so now. What had he seen at the district, or perhaps had been through, that shaped him like that? I could see in his eyes he wanted all of this to be over, he wanted peace, to return to his wives’ arms and to relax. The time was nearing when he would be able to do so. And when that time comes, I will have a sunken feeling in my chest that will only be shaken off by our victory.

“You’re still stupid to not go talk to him, the man’s been blabbering without ever stopping about you,” He quirked a brow, looking at me curiously and added, “I do not know what you’ve been exchanging in those letters of yours, but it fired him up to a point where we can barely have him take a break,” Leaning forward, he took a sip of his tea then raised his index as he added “The recruits are definitely paying the price, I hope you’ll apologize to them.” A laugh of relief and joy escaped my lips upon knowing Rengoku had been encouraged by my letters. However, I did not know which part had had him in such a state; was it the dream of a peaceful life together or my lewd words? Whichever it was, a funny feeling settled in my stomach.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the small table in front of us, “I am glad it helped him as much as it helped me, I will admit it was very tense out there and-“ I paused, shaking my head, “I’m sure it is not of your interest how everything went down, so tell me,” Looking up at him again, I smiled and continued, making sure not to shove my cup with my elbow, “What made you want to retire? What happened in the district that led you to this decision?” His face turned sour, his gaze diverting to the cup he was holding for a short moment. Slowly, he set it down and looked at his lap a moment before lifting his head high once again. “This,” He spat, pulling his left sleeve to show his hand, or lack thereof. It was still bandaged, but I was not sure it was because it was still healing.

From his attitude, he seemed angry to show it, if not ashamed. What I knew was that he did not need pity, so I held back from showing shock on my face. Instead, I breathed out, “I can understand the change in career,” His face lit up in surprise, then he let out a loud laugh. “Yeah, kind of hard to fight now. But hey, that doesn’t mean I can’t please my women,” He said with a wiggle of his fingers. I had to give him a look at how vulgar it sounded. I still huffed a chuckle, “A lot of people are attracted to scars, I am sure Makio, Suma and Hinatsuru find you just as charming.”

I was taken aback when his cheeks turned redder. He tried to cover it by taking a sip from his cup, but I had seen it and found it relieving that even this loud man could be flustered from genuine compliments. “They’ve been great, I should be glad they’re not leaving,” I surprised myself when I reacted by instinct and leaned over the small table to hit the top of his head. The clutter of the cup hitting the tatami echoed, but I did not pay it any mind. “They are anything but shallow! How could you believe for even a second they would have left your side?” Seeing his eye widen in shock made me realize I had been louder than I had meant to be, and that maybe I had taken his words at heart. His situation could be compared to Rengoku’s, and if my lover had spoken those words to me, I would have reacted the same way I did right now.

“I am sorry for the outburst,” I whispered, sitting back on the pillow. “You have been through so much with them. So, even if insecurities are hard to reason with… you must realize how much they love you just from knowing they stood by your side even when you were the loudest man on earth, I would even say annoying,” I finished jokingly while still meaning every word. A change in his appearance would never erase all that they had been through together, I could only hope he would realize that.

He was looking outside while I spoke, and when I was done, he smiled sincerely, “I don’t need your speech, I am awesome, I know it,” He huffed, giving me a side look before adding, “But thank you, I am sure someone else would love to hear those words,” I knew full well who he meant, and I had planned on speaking them to him too, whether he needed to hear those words or not. If I was being honest with myself, fear was my first feeling upon seeing Kyojuro scarred, the second one was admiration and perhaps it added a charm to his bright face. A roguish look that I might become fond of without needing to put too much thought into it.

After this heartwarming talk Uzui and I had, he told me about what happened while I was away. How a lot of them almost died at the Red District, but also how they had defeated one of the Upper Ranks Six demons. From what he had told me, the fight was rough, but they had pulled through with little losses. The three young recruits that had been sent there while I was still here had pushed through and were now training with the Pillars. He briefly mentioned the fight at the Swordsmith Village, but since he was not there he only repeated what he had been told or what he had read in the reports he had been allowed to overview. He had not been able to see Rengoku’s report, but he had seen him come back, face and back bloody.

I felt sick hearing his storytelling, but kept a composed face. It was hard to fight the urge to run to Kyojuro and tell him all the things he wanted to hear, to hold him close and to reassure him. If I could, I would tell him to go back to bed and rest, I would even promise him I’d sing to him every day, every night, without ever stopping if that was what was needed to have him safe.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It would be selfish to do so, and he was doing great. At least, that was the façade he was showing. The truth is, I was not convinced he was alright, but Uzui’s words gave me hope that my lover was actually doing fine.

We talked for a long hour to catch up. It was enjoyable, even if we would usually bicker, we were adults and it felt great to be able to talk as such. What made us part ways was the grumble of my stomach after a while; it came with not joining the recruits for lunch.

I was told to go eat and rest, not only by Uzui but also by Sumi who had entered the tea room in case we needed anything. Dutifully, I followed their order and went to have a nice meal before going back to my room to unwind. It felt out of place reading and relaxing when people were training for a war. None had any will to take part in it, but as Gyomei said, one should not stop living in times of war.

So, relax I did.

I ended up daydreaming too many times on each page. My mind would drift off to the man I longed to embrace and caress, the one that was diligently working to improve the skills of the trainees only steps away from me. Oh, how I missed those warm days when I would practice in front of him, only to have him stand by me and touch me in innocent ways that would heat up my body in seconds.

With all the daydreaming I was doing, I decided to write my last report to focus my energy somewhere more useful before having a discussion with each of my recruits. I was able to do so since some had yet to go to sleep; those who did seemed to be sleeping peacefully from what I could see. Those who were still fully awake were talking together, trying to get their minds out of the dark thoughts that were plaguing them. They all welcomed me to their late-afternoon card games accompanied by deep conversations. It was relaxing somehow, even if we talked a little about what happened during our mission.

It all came to an end after a while when Kiyo slid open the door to the recruits’ dormitory and hurried to my side. Turning around to look at her with a confused expression on my face, she brought a hand to my ear, hiding her mouth as she whispered, “Rengoku is in his chambers, he is retiring for the night,” She stepped back, smiling happily. My face flushed rapidly, how did she know I was waiting for him to be alone to join him? Uzui was the obvious answer. Had he told the three girls to be on the lookout and to warn me as soon as he retired? Perhaps… If it was indeed the case, I could only be grateful.

I nodded, thanking her before excusing myself to the ones that had yet to fall asleep. Among them, Daisuke. He grinned broadly, “Have fun, Captain!” I threw him a dirty look that hopefully quenched his audacity, but it did nothing to help. The swordsman’s smile only widened before giving me a thumbs up. I shook my head with a scoff and a small smile before leaving.

Once I stepped outside the dormitory and made my way downstairs, I realized how quiet the estate was. It was one of those rare nights when we could hear the cicadas louder than anyone else around the place. Most of the lights were off, people had had their meal earlier than usual to go to sleep before the sun had even time to set. They were probably exhausted from training hard, and sleep must have hit them the moment their head hit the pillow, which was understandable from how intense the work they were doing was.

As I made my way around the estate, I was careful not to make a sound with my steps. I had left my getas down the stairs and had opted to walk about without them, only in my socks; it was safer if I did not want to awaken the sleeping beasts in the mansion. Some doors were open, which brought in fresh air inside, something very welcome after a long hot day. It was refreshing. Furthering my steps around, I noticed a light was still lit in Giyuu’s room. In all discretion, I went inside and blew it off. I had to hold back a chuckle when I saw he had the three most recent recruits in his room, poor thing, I thought. The demon girl that was also there was respectfully sleeping in her futon, the three others were all over one another. Only Giyuu was left far away, perhaps he knew how wild their sleep got and chose a safer spot.

I had to pause in my trek when the floor creaked under my steps. A moment passed before I could leave the room safely once I made sure they were all still asleep. The next stop was Rengoku’s room. As I approached his room, I hesitated for a moment to call it our room in my head, it did feel nice to call something ours. Huffing to myself, I looked ahead and saw the flickering of the light inside; it was a relief to see he was not asleep, it meant I could catch up with him.

Choosing not to knock, I stepped inside. To my surprise, he was not there. His haori was laying on the ground, but he was nowhere to be found. The worst scenario came to mind as I considered the idea that he had been taken; with heavier steps, I looked around only to see him sitting outside on the veranda. A sigh of relief left my lips; seeing him after so long made my heart soar and left me frozen on the spot for what felt like ages until I found the strength to step closer to him. Calling his name softly I had hoped he would turn around, but he was left unmoving.

It was surprising to be able to catch him off guard, but I jumped on the opportunity and made my way to him. I stepped down the small step separating the veranda and the grass to stand in front of Rengoku’s sleeping form. His arms were crossed, his usual determined frown had left his face, leaving him relaxed and soft-looking. Oh, I had missed him so much.

His eyepatch was on his lap, and by his side were some paper, a pen and ink. His dominant hand was covered in the latter, it was adorable to see and even funny, but I was not here to mock. I did not glance at what he had been writing, instead I pushed back the hair that was covering his face, leaning in and kissed his forehead, then his brow where the scar was crossing from a bit higher on his forehead down to his cheekbone. I felt him stir a bit in his sleep, his head moving on the beam on which it was resting as a frown drew itself on his face. Smiling, I leaned back and started humming a song I had sung to him many times, whether it had been in times of boredom or when he could not fall asleep. My goal was to wake him up subtly, calmly and without startling him.

That did not work out as I had thought.

Without even opening his eyes, Rengoku reached out for me. I stepped back in time to avoid his grip, then whispered his name hurriedly. This time, he woke up quickly and let his arm fall to his side when he realized it was me; his expression turned into one of surprise then into a look of sadness. Quickly, his eyes teared up, I rushed to his form and wrapped my arms strongly around him. “You are back already,” He breathed joyfully, his hand threading through my hair as he pulled me closer. “I am back,” I nodded, gripping his back tighter only to have him wince lightly.

I let go rapidly and tried to pull away to look at him, but he did not let go, “Give me more time, please, I need to hold you—come let’s sit!” Without ever letting go of me, he sat down then had me rest both of my knees on either side of him while he sat crossed-legged and wrapped his arms around my form. I held him just as tight, my arms around his head instead as I held him against my chest while my cheek was against his head. The angle was bad for my neck, but I did not care one bit. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest more strongly than it had ever been and warmth was spreading all through my body.

“Would it be alright if I did not let you go until the morning?” He mumbled against my chest. His words were inarticulate from how he was pressing himself against me. “I would really like that, but first I said I wanted to worship you… Right?” I whispered softly, kissing the side of his head before trying to cradle his beautiful face in my hands. He kept his face against it, not moving, his hands gripping the back of my kimono a bit tighter. “There was a reason it took me so long to reply to your letters, my love,” He was serious, but his tone was laced with sadness and uncertainty. A nervous laugh escaped his lips, then slowly, he pulled away, his face still looking down. “You’ve mentioned many times liking my eyes, and the way I looked at you and… I’m not sure you will feel the same now.”

As he looked up, he slowly opened his eyes, revealing a bright fiery orb on the left and a ghost-like colored one on the right. He was unsure, his eyes were deeply looking into mine for any sort of sign that I was going to leave or hated it. Instead, I pressed a deep kiss on his lips and grinned, “Why would I not like it? A wise man once told me that scars were battle medals-“ He chuckled, interrupting me, “Do you realize you had told that to me, first? You had said it made us unique,” He smiled beautifully, his stress slowly leaving. My eyes widened; he had remembered that? If I said that, why can I not heed my own words when it regards my own scars? I thought briefly, but then looked back at Kyojuro bashfully, “I was not wrong, but the wise handsomeman I am talking about also said…” I trailed off, my hands cradling his face as I kissed his cheek, then his cheek bone, then his eye-lid, the Pillar chuckled timidly at that but let me do as I wished.

“…that scars were beautiful and mesmerizing, like the stars adorning the night sky. And just like the night sky, I wish to look at you until I see a glimpse of the sun rising, or perhaps until one of us falls asleep. I wish to bask in the serenity you bring and never let my gaze strand away from how beautiful you are,” because I love you, I held back from saying so, but it grazed the tip of my tongue. Our eyes never left one another’s, and even as I stopped talking, he did not speak. He looked at me in a mix of awe, adoration and perhaps a part of him still hesitated and needed to be convinced. I could feel my cheeks heating up from how intense his gaze was but loved every second of his attention. It pushed me to talk with more boldness.

Leaning over, my lips hovered over his, what am I doing? Where does all this confidence come from? Were some of the many questions crowding my mind; I was glad my hands were on his cheeks, it stopped them from shaking. The thoughts of uncertainty in my head were not mirrored by actions as I breathed against his lips, “If I remember correctly, that same man had written in his letters that he would like to worship me respectfully.” I held back a moment, brushing my nose against his before planting a delicate kiss on his lips. He tried to return it, but I pulled away quickly, chuckling, “I would love to do as I promised, and worship you instead,” My tone was so low, I was not sure he could hear me, but from how his body tensed I assumed he did.

I let my hands slide down to his shoulders, my eyes never leaving his in case he felt like he did not want to continue. Slowly, my hands slipped inside his kimono and on his bare shoulders before lazily pulling the sleeves down as my hands slithered down his arms. “My love, I cannot express how much I wish for your hands on my body right now,” He started and grabbed my hands delicately, bringing them to his lips before placing a kiss on it, “But I wish to know you are good too, and if you’d allow me, I would like to strip you of your beautiful kimono and kiss-“ I had darted my gaze back to his exposed skin when the word ‘strip’ left his mouth.

He stopped soon after and lifted my chin for me to look at him, “Are you still not hearing my words? Do you not understand that my adoration will not stop the more unique you get, my love?” I replied with a weak ‘I understand’ but he was not convinced at all, “Look at me,” he said sternly. I smiled when he said so, there was nothing I wanted more in the world than to look at him, but I still felt like the gash on my back was not the most beautiful. But then again, I was sure that with time I could get over it, and that his sweet words could help me get that confidence faster.

“I am looking,” I said in a low tone. Looking was a good word, but gawking would have been more adequate. The more I looked at him, the more I was getting used to that slight change on his face, and I was liking it more and more. I had not intended to make him feel self-conscious by ogling, but I felt like I had done just that when he smiled timidly, “You are indeed, and so am I,” He chuckled as he leaned in and captured my lips tenderly. I was grateful he did not break the kiss fast, instead he brought his hands to my jaw and tried to bring me closer to deepen the kiss. It felt so right and so good, I mirrored his hunger with a bit too much passion and made him fall backwards.

I apologized so fast it made Rengoku laugh loudly as he let his head hit the ground, “It’s alright, I love the enthusiasm,” His eyes traveled from my face down to my body, then to my hands that were gripping his shoulders tight, “I would suggest you kiss me again to help the pain away, I am sure it would help,” Looking down at him in surprise, I felt my cheeks heat up again, but leaned over with a stupid smile to then kiss his shoulder instead of him. “There?” I asked playfully. “Or there, perhaps?” I asked again, this time kissing the junction of his neck and shoulder. “My love, you are playing a dangerous game, I would like to kiss your pretty lips,” He said with a reddening face, his hands traveling to my waist where he held me.

I left a trail of kisses from the side of his throat to his jaw to finally kiss him passionately on the lips where he grinned into the kiss, returning it just as happily. “Can I suggest something? For the two of us to do?” He asked, his eyes burning into mine with intensity. My body temperature suddenly rose, I looked at him with flaming cheeks and looked at his still bare chest from when I had slid the kimono off him. “Yes, but I cannot promise I can stay silent-“ He covered my mouth quickly as he sat up, his face burning bright while an embarrassed smile painted his lips, “That’s not—I am so flattered, dear, I truly crave your touch, but what I had in mind was slightly different, if not very,” He chuckled timidly.

With eyes wide, I pried his hand away from my mouth and stood up, “That is embarrassing, do not think of me as wanton-“ Holding my sleeve as he stood up, Rengoku kissed me softly, “Then I will take the blame, I have no shame in saying I want you.” As if in a rush, he let go of me and stepped inside, his hand held out to me as he said, “Stay there, I have a great idea, bear with me my love, simply,” He moved his arm up and down, gesturing at my form, “Stay right there—no, actually, come sit on the futon, yes, yes the futon!”

He was suddenly hectic. A very different mood from seconds ago when I thought we were about to finally be together in more ways than one. I humored him and knelt on the futon, my hands on my knees as I looked at him, pink scars covering almost all his back. I resisted the urge to stand up and kiss all of them, as hard as it was. The lion-like man was careful when taking something from the cabinet, his sleeves hanging on each side of him for he still hadn’t dressed back. “As a child, when Senjuro would get hurt, I would have him draw the shape of his wound on paper, then draw around it, or with it, to make something fun. It would always make him smile,” Kyojuro told me, his eyes drifting to nostalgia as he did so. I wanted to know more about his brother, and his family in general, but I hardly believe now was the time to ask more about it. He had something in mind, and I was curious to know what it was.

“If you are not convinced you are gorgeous, even with scars, then let’s make it a real work of art!” His words were accompanied by his placing of a painting palette on the ground. A glass filled with dirty water and a few brushes were put on the ground too with just as much care. He then looked at me determined, but his gaze was searching mine for any sort of unease, just like before when he had revealed his eye. This time, I was hesitant, “You are suggesting I paint my-“ “I am suggesting to paint your back, your scar, with something so beautiful you will see it the way I do! And if you would like it, you can do mine too,”

Looking at him for a moment, I considered. My eyes trailed to the paint, then the tools around it to finally look back at Rengoku. He was already tying his hair back to get it out of the way. Seeing how thrilled he seemed by the idea, I thought it would not hurt to try; it was also an excuse to have his hands on my body, which rendered the idea even more appealing. Those weeks apart had made me crave his touch so much I was desperate for it.

“I will do yours first, if you do not mind. It will give me time to get used to the idea,” I smiled while mentioning him to turn around. A broad smile displayed itself on his face when his cheeks flushed pink, “Thank you for indulging me, let me-“ leaning over, he held my face between his hands gently and kissed me tenderly once again. The love dripping from his action made my heart beat faster, I kissed him with the same fervor, perhaps too much as my tongue tried to pry open his mouth. He pulled back laughing shyly; his thumb brushed over my lips while his expression was one that confused me. He seemed very concerned and happy at the same time. He was even about to say something but held back. Seconds after, he said, “I missed you so dearly, please, don’t be scarce with your touch.”

A breathless laugh escaped my lips while I nodded, “The thought never crossed my mind, now turn around,” I chuckled. Rengoku seemed insistent on looking at me and resisted when I placed my hands on his shoulders to turn him around. I laughed at that, for I struggled greatly seeing how unmoving he was. “Kyo, can you please turn around,” “Then I can’t see you!” He complained playfully. Pointing at the full-length mirror in the corner of the room, the one that was turned to face the wall, I said, “Then we move there, would that be better?”

After his approval, we moved to the front of the mirror after turning it around to face us. The man sat with his back straight, his hands resting on his knees as he looked at me thanks to the mirror. I had not realized he was doing so until I was done with mixing some paints to have some dark brown and had brought the paintbrush to his back. When I did, I looked over his shoulder and could see him smiling broadly, to which I said, “Is there something on your mind?”

“The same thing has been on my mind for the past four weeks and I am more than glad that my thoughts have manifested themselves today,” He winked flirtatiously. Feeling my cheeks flush, I told him to lean a bit forward all while pushing his head gently. He rested his elbows on the ground, his chin in his hands. Before starting the painting, I could not stop myself from kissing his shoulders. It earned me a giggle and a soft-spoken “Don’t be shy, your lips are welcome all over my body,” I followed his words and peppered kisses all over his scarred back, making sure to kiss each individual one. When I was done, I could see his face had reddened greatly and he was still looking at me in the mirror, his eyes glimmering with joy.

When I brushed the first stroke of paint on his back, he tensed suddenly but not without making a high-pitch sound of surprise. “I am sorry, is it cold?” I asked worriedly, pausing with my free hand on his shoulder. Turning his head slightly, he pressed a kiss on my fingers and shook his head, “I am a bit ticklish; those brushes feel like feathers on the skin, I was caught off guard,” He explained before positioning himself like he was before. Humming, I resumed my painting. From the beautiful pattern on his back, I could see a big tree that started more on the left of his back before growing up to his shoulders, the branches reaching across his shoulder blades and one over his left shoulder.

A few minutes passed; I was focused on the art that was happening in front of me. It was also irritating me faintly that I could not touch him properly, I wanted to hug him and fall asleep in his arms and as enjoyable and intimate this was, I wanted more. I needed to think of something, that’s why I asked out loud, surprisingly at the same time as the Pillar, “Should we start thinking of a name for our four-legged friend?” was what I said, Rengoku however was on a different note, “I am sorry for not talking, you are just so beautiful-“ He apologized for speaking at the same time as I did, so did I. Both of us laughed nervously. With a short gesture, he told me to go on, but I had heard his words, so I teased.

“Uzui told me my letters lifted your spirits,” I started, his face flashing in surprise then embarrassment, “Tell me, which part made you the gladdest?” Don’t start, I told myself. You cannot be this touch-starved to start something in the midst of an innocent painting, I scolded myself internally. I had finished the trunk of the tree, and was now mixing the colours to create a pink shade. Was I confident in my cherry tree leaves making? Not entirely. But I was going to give it my all. “Thinking of retiring with you!” He said a bit louder than he had spoken the entire time we were together. A disappointed “Oh,” escaped my lips without even going through the thinking phase. I quickly looked up to tell him it was nice, to add I was not disappointed, but when I saw his look in the mirror it had darkened. It was not as joyful as usual.

It was not sad either, but the smirk on his lips definitely helped me gauge the emotion portrayed on his face. “My love, are you disappointed?” His hand slowly reached behind to touch my knee. His fingers deftly helped the hem of my kimono out of the way to finally touch my bare skin. I had since stopped painting and was now staring right at him in the mirror. A huge innocent grin made its way to Kyojuro’s lips, “Would you rather I had said the idea of feeling your body against mine once again was what fueled me to get up, in more than one way, in the morning?” The brush was thrown on the wooden plank where the paint was as I leaned my head over his shoulder and slithered my arm to the opposite shoulder to cover his mouth.

I rested my chin against his collarbone and breathed out nervously, I felt him smile behind my hand. “Why are you being naughty now of all times?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. Prying my hand from his mouth, the beautiful man pressed a kiss in the palm of my hand, “Because you have started it, I am only now joining in on the fun,” He then gave me an innocent look, the one he would usually have, as if he was not trying to rile me up, “I will stop if you ask me,” “I am not—I have not said that.” With the tip of his index and thumb, Rengoku lifted my chin and kissed me softly. The angle was not the best for such actions, but I melted into it without hesitation. “Very well, I am glad to hear it. Do not stop painting my love, I am impatient to see the final product!” He grinned enthusiastically.

Getting myself together, I leaned back and realized I had paint over some parts of my Kimono, “I dirtied my kimono because of that, I will blame it on you,” I said playfully, earning myself a loud laugh from the Fire Pillar as he added, in that same tone, one that is almost carefree, “Do not worry, we will dirty it even more,” He threw me a soft smile mixed with something I rarely saw on his face, arrogance? Pride? He added, “That is… if you’ll allow me, of course,” Bringing the back of my hand to my forehead, while still holding the brush between my fingers, I wiped the non-existent sweat, then resumed painting.

“My dear, if you keep that up, you might regret it,” I trailed off, my eyes staring right at his for a mere instant before focusing on his back once again. The pink was beautiful adorning the top half of his skin, up to his shoulders and even a bit on his bicep. I thought to myself it did not look as bad as it could have looked, after all I had no experience in skin-painting, nor painting at all. I was no artist, only a fighter. Broadening his smile, he moved his elbow to rest it on his knee. He was still sitting tailor-style which made him look so good when he rested his cheek on his knuckles. The teasing expression adorning his features drew me in, even more after he spoke, “Regret? You are more than welcome to use me, if that is what you so desire. Your gaze has been more open than your words, for the former has the honesty the latter lacks,” I was about to tell him off when he said, “My apology, I meant that I can read the lust in your eyes, even if your words are reprimanding me for being… wanton, as you would describe it,”

While I smiled to myself upon hearing his words, I could still feel the warmth in my cheeks. The embarrassment was strong, but I still teased back, “You are the first thought in my cloudy mind when I wake up,” I quoted his words from the letters as I put the paintbrush in the water, the look on his face was such a sight I could not help but lean over his shoulder and kiss his jaw. “My heart and body long for you and your…” Looking at him in the reflection, I delicately let my hand wander down his stomach. My heart was speeding up and I could see his eyes looking down at my hands, curious, wondering if I would dare do it. “...Touch” I then undid the knot of his kimono to feel him more, to have one of us act the words shared through those letters when his hand stopped me at such a speed I gasped silently.

A tight smile was on his lips. I loved seeing him like that, not fully out of control but trying hard to resist the inevitable; to resist the pull that was happening between us. Our long separation had only strengthened that need for intimacy, that need to be close, skin against skin, legs intertwined, breath mixing, and warmth shared under the blanket. “I have yet to paint your beautiful body, my love, will you be good and behave until I am done?” He asked with such a sultry look I was tempted to tell him there was no need to paint me, but he wanted to do it. So, I smiled stupidly, “You say behave as if I was a wild animal,” I chuckled, gesturing for him to turn around to look at the final product. He slowly did, while I focused my gaze on the reflection behind him.

He did not even glance at his back, instead he leaned over and kissed my neck softly while whispering, “Your wild, adventurous hands that needed to be caught to be stopped from going on a rampage, tell me otherwise,” I leaned my head the opposite side of his head to give him better access before even assimilating his words. His hair was tickling my throat as he trailed kisses higher on my skin, I gasped a laugh when his lips brushed over my ear then breathed, “Can you blame me? You have an addictive personality, and an even more addictive touch.” His chuckle was right next to my ear, I wanted to hear more of him. With his breath in addition, I felt a shiver run down my spine and looked at the door in case someone came in.

“And I am obsessed with your voice, but I have not made you moan yet, have I?” He huffed another laugh before kissing my cheek and leaning back. I was aware my gaze was flicking between his gorgeous eyes then his hands, many times. Before looking over his shoulder and into the mirror, Kyojuro looked me up and down, a proud smile on his beautiful lips, “Flustered, gaze askance and scared of being caught… Exactly how I had imagined it.” This effectively brought my eyes back to his in the mirror, this time with a pleasantly surprised smile, “Those letters of yours, they made me realize you had a way with words,” I started. He smiled, his beautiful eyes not leaving mine yet, “It made me wonder two things.”

Humming, he told me to go on all while gesturing for me to sit in front of him to start painting. My cheeks warmed up again at the thought of undressing in front of him. My fingers danced on the knot around my stomach while I spoke, “The first one being, if you have such a way with words, how come I have never received a poem?” I said playfully. It made Rengoku panic, his paintbrush falling from his hands as he looked at me with wide eyes. I quickly spoke before he could, “I am teasing. I was only wondering one thing, I would never be entitled enough to ask for a poem,” I said off-handedly.

This made his face burn bright red as he looked at me intently, “I have written many poems!” He said loudly, smiling. That smile turned more timid when he said, “About the one that is always on my mind, the one that makes my heart sing louder than cicadas in the summer. The one that keeps surprising me, no matter the amount of time spent together; I keep getting caught off guard by the words escaping from that someone’s mouth…” He said gently, his tone slowly turning deeper, more sultry. I felt like a comedian on stage, everything was pointing at me, I had all his attention, and I could not run. When he uttered the last word, his face was over my shoulder and he was smiling genuinely at me, “That someone is you, if you had not understood.”

“I had, I… am flattered. Maybe I will write you a song-“ Feeling like a great idea had struck me, I turned to look at him quickly, bumping our noses together. Both of us laughed as he put a bit of distance between us, “I could put a tune to your words, I could sing them—perhaps write words of my own to have you properly flattered,” I chuckled. A sound of surprise caught in my throat when Rengoku kissed me passionately, stopping my sudden rant and calming my burst of enthusiasm. When our lips parted, he stared at me lovingly, “I love this idea, I love it very much.” I giggled nervously, feeling stupid for doing so but did not add anything else. After a moment passed, he turned my head towards the mirror and gestured at my kimono as he said, “Now, what were you wondering upon reading my letters?”

I scoffed, my fingers dancing on the knot of my kimono, “I would hate to ruin the sweet mood that has been set, maybe I shouldn’t-“ Kyojuro wrapped his arms around my waist and pried my hands away from the knot I was not undoing to do so himself, all while talking and looking at me in the mirror, “Do not play a prude when your hand was between my legs minutes ago, my love,” He said softly. The tone was not depicting the actual insinuation of his words, which made it even more attractive that it was just from being spoken by him. He kissed my cheek again, pulling the knot away from my form, “Go tell me, share your obscene thoughts with me! Who knows, I might just share them,” He winked.

I tensed when I felt his nails scratch the back of my neck slightly as he held the collar of my attire. He paused, hesitant but not talking yet. I gently pushed his hands away and took a deep breath; as I let it out, I dropped my kimono off my form and said, with a fleeting gaze, “I wondered if that well-spoken man would keep his manners in bed, if your way with words would remain if you felt good.” I kept my back straight, hoping that if I did so, I wouldn’t shy away from his gaze. My confidence was a lie; even if I kept my head high and I had changed the topic, I knew full well that a seed of insecurity was germinating in the corner of my mind.

My whole body stiffened when I felt the warmth of skin on my scar. I did not pull away, but even if I tried, hands were holding my waist. It made my escape impossible. “Did you know that not one tiger has the same stripes as the other? It is a way to identify them, but also shows how unique they are.” It was slightly helpful and funny, I did not move and listened to him as he traced his finger over the length of my scar, from the side of my hip to the middle of my back. Mumbling to himself, he said he would try again, and try he did. “Perfection is like beauty, everyone has their own criteria they wish to meet, for themselves or for others,” This time I could feel the brush on my skin and shivered, my hair rising on my arms and neck.

“Now, you cannot force anyone to meet the criteria you like or wish for, that would be hard, yes,” He paused, dipping the brush again, his eyes focused on my back, “What you can do, is look at yourself, and see what makes you unique, what defines you, what are your more prominent traits—you make all of those yours, you embrace the traits you like and work on those you don’t,” His gaze met mine in the reflection, with a sweet smile he kissed the back of my head and added, “And what you have to do, is trust your body, love your body, it has gotten you through so much that it deserves all the love and worth in the world. Give your beautiful self worth.” I could hear him smile, his face was behind mine as he leaned over my back to paint details.

“Because knowing you are worth it, you will understand that you are your own perfect, and that perfection is a state of mind.” There was a long pause as I took in his words, while I still felt exposed being uncovered on my top half; while it was something I had never done around him, I still felt comfortable. At least more comfortable than before. A question set on the tip of my tongue; I was hesitant to ask it. “I am sorry if I stepped over some boundaries, we can go back to your question-“ “Do you like it?” His eyes widened. He paused his strokes and looked over my shoulder, confusion adorning his oh so beautiful face. “The topic of before-“ “The scar, do you like it? I will not see it much; I can ignore it, but…” I trailed off, not knowing what I wanted to say more.

Suddenly, kisses were planted on my back, all over it, first on the side of my scar, then on my shoulder blades, to finally reach the top of my shoulders, “I absolutely do! What could be more attractive than knowing how strong you are? And willed, determined! You are so beautiful-“ He looked up, a big smile on his face. I had to hold back a laugh when I saw the green paint on his lips. He had kissed paint that had not dried yet but did not seem to care one bit. “You are my perfect,” He said softly, wiping the paint from his lips with a cute smile.

My throat tightened; emotions were getting the best of me at his kind words. Laughing nervously, I looked down and wrapped my kimono back around me loosely. A gentle tug on my hand made me look over my shoulder then fully turn to face Kyojuro. His face was hesitant at first, but he beamed at me then reached for both of my hands instead, his thumbs brushing over the back of them, “I am going to be selfish—will you bear with me?” Knots tied in my chest, it felt heavy suddenly, but I nodded, my joyous attitude dropping from his words. “I know we do not know the outcome of this final fight; I know that. I am an optimist, I believe in all of us, but anything can happen—that’s why, that’s why I-“ He took a deep breath, bringing my hands to his forehead as he sniffled. His voice cracked as he expressed himself; it broke my heart. Was he going to put an end to this dream-like partnership?

I never let go of his hands, instead I tightened them around his. There was nothing else I could do until he was done laying his heart bare. I was fighting hard the tears that were threatening to fall. What about our future plans? What about retiring? What about our dog? Was this all play pretend? Was I hopeful for nothing?

He brought my hands back to his lips and kissed the tip of my fingers,

“I know it’s selfish to lay it out like that, I know… But I love you, I love you so much. I want you to know it, and that is what is selfish about me. You told me once that I could be selfish, that selfishness was good sometimes,” He brought each of my hand on each of his cheeks, placing his on top to press them closer, “I need you by my side forever, I wish to hold you every night, to hear your voice when I wake up and when I go to sleep,” a kiss was placed on my palms, he then let go of my hands but I kept them there, holding him closer.

He leaned in, eyes teary with a stupid smile on his handsome face, “… to see you trip on the tatami, to have your hands in my hair and to eat the best food with you,” I laughed through my silent tears, a smile matching his adorning my lips, “To love you is all I want,” He whispered before kissing me tenderly. The stress I had put on myself thinking he was going to leave me left through laughs in the kiss, our teeth clashing from time to time but happily so as I pushed him back on his futon. “I love you too, you are my perfect, my safe haven, my home,” I punctuated everything by a kiss on his lips, his arms wrapped around my waist to keep me close.

“I will not let you go, no matter what happens next,” To emphasize my words, I wrapped my arms around his neck, it made him laugh as he rolled us around so that we were both on our side on the ground, looking at one another, “Neither will I, I will find you no matter what,” he pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, then stared at me lovingly.

I could feel my eyelids drooping, I was exhausted from today and crying did not help, “Kyo… I truly love you… But I also think you have put paint all over your futon,” I mumbled tiredly. He chuckled with the same tiredness and brought me closer to his chest, humming, “That is too bad, I am not moving,”

“Is it a problem for our future selves?” I asked playfully.

“Absolutely, it’s their mess, after all,” He mumbled, his lips against my hair.

With my final functional thought, I asked, “If you heard my words about selfishness… Would it mean you were not asleep?” I remembered mentioning it when brushing his hair and even though saying so was out of place, relief flooded over me when I had seen he had fallen asleep. If he had heard me, it meant he had not actually been sleeping.

“I don’t regret faking it, I was able to feel your sweet kiss, a shame I couldn’t return it,” He said tiredly, his words mumbled and inarticulate. It was enough for me to understand and lean in to press a lazy kiss on his lips, “It is never too late,” a breathless laugh escaped his lips as he returned it slowly, sleepily.

We then slowly fell asleep to one another’s reassuring heartbeats, basking in the serenity of today and not thinking of any tomorrows.

[Part 8]