#he isnt even grateful
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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tumblr you misunderstand me. I do not care for the pale fellow from beegeethree. my most popular recent post is about me complaining how i DONT want to see him all the time. stop showing him and show me women
#sorry for the complain. i feel like my brain is being grated into cheese#it’s fine i’ll play dao where he isnt there#but i’ll have to hear….#greg ellis. not for long but a punishment nonetheless#cullen in dao doesnt even bother me that much he IS interesting. i will always think about The Video though#nastja ily i miss you#roscoe rambles
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Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.
Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,
Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny
#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be#Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others#Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own#While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free#But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs#But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral#As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at-#Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs.#Then tsc coming came and changed everything.#Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this-#Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth#He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain.#So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be.#As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential#And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress-#Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more-#Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that-#This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering#And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings#Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN#They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!!#This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA
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where im at mentally these days: my mum hugged me and said im doing a good job and i burst into tears <3
#i mean it was a little more fleshed out than that#i asked for a hug and she asked if i was okay and i didnt say anything so she said something about me feeling like#untethered. just kind of floating through life. and i said yeah. and she told me im doing a good job like. getting through the day basically#and i cried about it because i dont even know why its so hard#and i feel so shitty all the time because i just feel like a shit person like i dont try hard enough with my nephew#and hes so little and so smart and im so awful and every day im worried hes going to stop liking me bc im still learning how to be. gentle.#because i grew up with yelling and a locked pantry and an older sister who had to raise me#so i dont know how to not yell and not escape into my own world when i cant be bothered#and i have really good days and really terrible days and hes not a Job hes my nephew and i want to treat him like my nephew#and it feels so selfish to say im tired and that its hard and stressful and i dont know what im doing#bc my sister has to do it too and she doesnt get breaks like i do#she doesnt get to just decide to leave for the night - and i mean i dont do that but i have the option#and everyone keeps. like. telling me im doing good and im helpful and my sister especially tells me often shes grateful for me#and it makes me feel Awful bc i feel like i dont do enough and that the stuff i DO isnt good enough and just argh#anyway#vent over i need to go to bed its 1am and i have to get up in 5 hours#captain speaks
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growing up as the daughter of a poor white woman and an immigrant father was insane, but i will say that when i told them i wanted to be a writer i was met with no resistance whatsoever. they are just happy i get to be anything other than struggling constantly so there are small miracles
#misc.#there is a lot to be said about how the american dream isn't real but there's also something to be said#about the hope that people have anyway despite everything#when i was growing up my mother did her part to ensure i knew i could be anything#as long as i was educated and wanted it badly enough#and like obviously it isnt that easy but i think it did a lot for me#bc though i am poor and i do struggle i had choices she never got#and my father always told me much of the same thing#he wanted us educated and healthy and happy even if he wasn't around to see it#and he always told my older sisters to help us and they did and idk i'm grateful for that
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My parents cancelled the official family gathering and I put my foot down and said I wasn't coming over on Christmas unless my brother called me himself and asked me to (because I cannot stomach being in the same space as him and my father rn) and frankly I'm glad this is a bare minimum makeshift holiday sure It be nice to have decorations up but we need to clean and get rid of shit more than we need decorations and I need a fuckin break from ppl who make me want to commit acts of violence. Gonna spend the holiday break in the woods.
#any progress i thought was made re my relationship with my father was superficial and fleeting. or just topical. no depth. no real work done#which isnt surprising but is leaving me sick to my stomach and tasting blood. he's falling over himself to help my brother rn#to help him through his crisis and im grateful for that truly because my brother needs the help and im glad hes accepting it#but its salt in the very old wounds im carrying from being outright abandoned by my family from the moment i turned 18#even when i moved home i was left to my own devices and left to figure it all out. he helped pay something that had his name on it.#but otherwise i took care of myself entirely and always have. no advice no guidance just two failed disownings#but im glad my brother gets the help i am i know it doesnt seem it im glad#it just must be nice being the favorite son
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so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin
#i love her so much But#Its my dads side of the family and i dont see them often at all and everything is always so awkward and#they dont know i dropped out of school and everytime my grandpa sees me he asks about school#and i havent seen him since before i Would have graduated this past may#like i would be graduated hs right now but#im not SO IF AYNYNE ASKS ABOUT IT IM GONNA LOSE ITTTT#god#hopefully my grandparents just wont be there Idk why they would bc im just going to hang w my cousin#but they tend to jumpscare me sometimes when i go out to see her#Gahhhgaaahhhhhahhaooouuoououou#i could just tell the truth bc idec about them knowing i dropped out its just embarrassing bc i lied for so long#buti just did bc when i first stopped going to school my mom told me not to tell anyone on that side of the fmaily..so..#i dont think shed care anymore either but its just been so long and ive never told them Augh#and my grandpa really wants me to go to college which i straight up just dont wanna do. not rn at least#and id need to get my ged first which ive been procrastinating on the entiire year Oopsies#my aunt always tells me not to listen to him thoughand that i dont have to go to college if i dont want to i am grateful for her..#shes always protective of me from him LOL i love my grandpa and he means well and stuff but#he will just say anything#and he always makes me cry in public or at family gatherings bc he starts talking to me about my dad#i knowppl just aska bout like school and plans for the future and stuff bc they care but i wish they wouldnt bc i do not know anything#i dont know a single thing about how my future is going to go or what i even want it to be or how im going to live and its stressful enough#already when im not being interrogated about it#Like lets just talk about something else. Lets talk about enstars#Isnt it crazy that shinobu has gone going on 15 months without a new 5*?..i think its a little crazy and i miss him
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no seriously where did the 'dirk strider is a transmed/is transphobic' thing come from and also can we leave it behind already
#caw caw#its especially grating when hes hc'd as a trans man and/or is the only hc'd trans man within the kids cause its like.#i dunno it just feels bad. ive gotta stay off for you pages that shit is Not for me#also yes i have read and like the epilogues. i saw him being surprised about tboy roxy but not transphobic#i saw him slipping up in a normal way but that also isnt transphobia. he also cant see inside roxy's head#like he can with everyone else bc of roxy's aspect so he *genuinely* didnt know rox's internal processes or any kinda changes#he swaps pronouns for roxy at some point bc its implied that tboy roxy doesnt happen as often across timelines#so he defaults to she/her for us the readers for simplicity and imo bc most ppl still use she/her for roxy anyway#thats how i see it anyway. the fandom doesnt even like tboy roxy but he only ever comes up for transmed-dirk#which just feels weird and bad yknow. feels kinda puppet-y. bdumtiss#like i just dont think the guy who said he doesnt even deserve to die next to roxy would do that to him i truly dont#i think a lot of people have an uncharitable view of dirk bc they keep conflating him with bro when#that is NOT the point and wasnt the the point of the striunion or anything wrt paradox clones#bro is bro. we dont know why he is the way he is#but there was also absolutely NOTHING to imply that bro was transphobic. thats pure fanlore and most likely projection#projection isnt bad i need to say. but it is when it cements itself into fanlore and then fanlore changes our view of canon#the point of dirk strider is that he loves. he has a whole ass heart right on his chest for fucks sake#he is literally and figuratively wearing his heart outside of his chest for everyone to see#our t
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Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW
#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him#im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh)#im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked#like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ)#and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings!#god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense” or “thats dumb”#sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear)#maybe dont be so dismissive#like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves#and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed#and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance???#like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off#leave it be!#god looking back on all this....#i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things#ppl can change so ill just hope for that#or maybe he'll meet his match#someone who reflects the same energy he has!#tho im not sure if hed like that haha#the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt#but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses#which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own#gotta get context for everything u know#but in this case....naur#like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind!#so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr#im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly#trying to make sure not to make things harder for them#and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset#but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???
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Saw some posts again with something along the lines of saying that "shen yuan didn't earn anything in the story, it was all shen jiu, then in the end he wasn't even remotely grateful to shen jiu. What a privileged, ignorant asshole."
And like, what? What do you mean?? How many times does shen yuan have to die/explode/sacrifice himself/get kidnapped/infested with plants until you're satisfied with his whump stocks??😭😭😭
#Not to mention shen yuan never has to be grateful to shen jiu if he doesn't want to.#That's what makes the story interesting! He has a fucked up little one-sided relationship with the guy he unwillingly replaced.#Stuck to fulfill a role that he despises playing#a role that encourages him to mistreat children#be an asshole to his coworkers#and just generally not be a very empathetic or social guy.#All things that are an exact opposite of shen yuan.#so sure#at the end of the day shen jiu and shen yuan ARE drastically different people with drastically different backgrounds#that helped cultivate drastically different moral codes and outlooks on life#one grew up in poverty and abused#the other safe and wealthy#but thats the point!!#its a nice dichotamy!! justopsition!! whatever you want to call it to make this post sound smart (it isnt)#it gives it drama!!#flavor!!!#adding more to the tragedy!!!#its. what. makes. it. interesting.#if people dont like it when a fictional character dislikes another fictional character because of fundementally different worldviews#then do you even like stories and funtime and drama?#sorry for the tag rant lmao#it will probs happen again#plz ignore me#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#shen qingqiu#rant
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p5t takes place during p5r and not after.
EDIT; ok i thought this because akechi and kasumi show up in the dlc. i havent finished royal yet but after playing tactica for a bit it seem that it takes place right after p5(r?) but BEFORE scramble which is. still sucks. because it just puts everyone right back where they were without any of the development from that game.
#persona 5 tactica#WHYYYYY does atlus keep doing this for spinoffs. stop itttt. STOP IT FRRRR#and you could say. oh its because they wanted akechi in there. THEN WHY IS HE DLC. WHY ISNT HE JUST HERE LIKE IN Q#every day im grateful we got the best p5 sequel ever. thank you scramble for my life.#still sad that it coincided with royals development so they couldnt include nor contradict stuff from that game...#so to get around that. they just never mentioned akechi. not even once. like he never even existed.#the ONE downside to the best p5 game.#gifs#tedpost#tedtalks
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some of u r really weird about mcr5 and dunes
#im an mcr5 truther but im also like. patient#one song after a decade of nothing is more than enough for me personally#n to be weird about dunes because of this is really just. annoying?#i get hyperbole is the language of this site but its also like. take a fucking breather dude#frank is allowed to like. have friends he records with that arent mcr#n then with the fact that someone important to them passed recently#its just really weird. get a grip.#this isnt as nicely toned as id usually make it simply bc i am tired n annoyed n fresh out of an anxiety attack so my apologies#local man with dunes tattoo says dunes isnt that bad actually. more at seven#n for the beginning of my tags im not implying im better than anyone who isnt patient or is missing mcr but its really just mind boggling#we got an entire tour and a new song n live debuts of songs never heard before n im grateful#if mcr never makes something ever again then thats completely fine for me. bc what we got was way more than we could even imagine.#anyway. im gna be quiet now no one cares about me ranting at one AM DNDNDN#blabs#also this isnt directed at anyone in particular its just a general like. observation of how a lot of people are.#if you're my friend n you dont like dunes thats fine n i love you !#its mainly just. people who r weird and rude about it
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heehee hoo hoo procrastinating things so i rant here
#this is all on my mind because recently i interacted with one of those like... twitter akechi stans who are in an echo chamber of#akechi/akeshu. and its just impossible to talk about anything because a)the characters can't be divorced from each other. akira only exists#to prop up akechi and be his cute bf and in a way vice versa for akechi but at least he's allowed to be a bitchy asshole/have more emotions#and its considered 'cute'.#b) in those circles there's a very specific interpretation of akechi that really grates me which makes it even harder for me to take things#seriously or speak when whatever we're talking about is completely at odds.#and its not like I'm inserting myself into akeshu convos and going 'wow youre wrong' we were literally just talking about akira and akechi.#no romance. just them as characters and about the persona awards and its just bah bah bah bah bah shipping#and akeshu is a good pairing but man some of y'all make me go 'damn its not That good'#UGH and that's another reason why i find it hard to hold a conversation about anything regarding royal. because it all fucking boils down#to akeshu and 'maruki being the no.1 akeshu shipper hehe!!!' thats WEIRD you know thats really weird right#and so tiring. i know 3rd sem focuses on akira n kechi's relationship but like. you can talk about it in a way that isnt sosssososohggtgrgh#running out of steam for this rant i forget my original topic i just wanted to yell#idk man i just want nuance. please. i think this ends up being true for any fandom that gets too steeped in shipping#but Fuck nuance is one of the core themes of persona 5 and yet people don't have any
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Tbh when all my rats pass away I might beg my family to rent a flat somewhere in the city for me. I'm so tired of seeing my mother I just want her to disappear.
#my brother isnt an issue 90% of the time bc hes in his room. sometimes i dont see him for days. even though hes at home.#im just. so much more depressed around mother. which makes sense when she spends all the time visibly sad#its as if she wants attention. guess what girl! you should be grateful i dont yell at you. as you did.#she denies it of course lol#yeah yk what next time she pisses me off im gonna get real toxic#like shell come into my room when im reading. sit on my bed. start talking to herself how sad she is. boo fucking hoo get out maybe??#this is messy but im so tired. and its petty of me but ill just be as shitty as she was.
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current brainrot of the day:
sigma havin very Real nightmares about his life in talon after being taken in by ow bc talon is the first "tangible" threat/fear he's had since leaving prison.... only to bolt awake and slowly calm back down when he sees real sunlight refracting off of his sun catchers and realizes he's still safe....
wakin up... and FEELING safe???
smbdy: why are you crying...?? did something happen?? sigma, tears streaming; everything is just WONDERFUL! i am so happy to be alive!
it'd be extremely stressful during the initial adjustment process bc it takes well over six months for these kinds of episodes to become less and less frequent, but despite all the tears and terror.... him just being so happy to finally feel free....
#mission records + ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ; ᴛʀᴀᴠᴇʟᴇᴅ sᴏ ғᴀʀ +#this isnt even a hot take im just fucking GAY for this trope#cryin n rolling around in the covers of his bed just... RELIEVED!!#he gets the compulsion to hug EVERY ow agent Just Because He Appreciates Being Taken In whenever he gets like tht#the ow agents constantly having to explain that he doesnt need to be grateful bc its his basic human right to be free....#.... he tries to stop but it's impossible for him
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What if i draw more subanatsu and throw them into the world
#^ i was in the tag and it's like me and nobody else#AND I SAW MY SBNTS ROCKET START POST AND 😭😭😭 damn thats old i didnt even scrolled that far#i love subanatsu btw#AS IF MY SBNTS MOMENTS POST ISNT A CLEAR SIGN!!?!!?#but i qant to draw more sbhks too i need people to like them (ignores my 748392 izlo comics that i didnt finish)#anyway did you know that in graduation subaru said he knew that hokke cared about him in their first year#and that he will always be grateful about that#but in rocket start subaru is like “natsume. instead of making the world smile. i want to make You smile”#and then hokke enters the classroom like 🙄🙄 natsume what are you doing here#and natsume is like GreAt TimIng hokuto hidaka (leaves )#anyway i love that natsume has beef with all of trickstar except baru he's the specialest boy ever
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