#he is. very nervous bc this is a big change for him
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♡ slashers scenarios | sharing a bed
♡ fandoms; The Boy, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original + 2006), House of Wax, Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)
♡ characters; Brahms Heelshire, Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Vincent Sinclair
♡ reader; gender neutral
♡ cw; very suggestive content, implied smut
♡note; swapped out billy in this one bc i can’t imagine him sharing a bed with someone and not getting literally pornographic
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Brahms Heelshire
> Once he decides he wants to share the bed, he finds the biggest guest room bed and brings all of the comfiest pillows and blankets he can to make it perfect
> For you more than him, but he doesn’t feel too hurt when you push half of them to the foot of the bed
> It was a lot even for a king bed
> You’re reluctant at first, not used to sharing a bed
> But you find he’s very hard to say no to once you’re in that deep
> He tries to give you space, but it’s not long before he’s wrapped around you, clinging for dear life
> And he almost immediately falls asleep like that, head tucked into your chest
> You sigh and try and relax, petting his hair
> And you fall asleep with your hand still tangled in his black locks, holding him close to you
> You wake up to him nuzzling your neck and practically whining
> “Baby…wake up…”
> You’d ask him what the problem was…if you couldn’t feel it against your leg
> You spend most of the morning still in bed, lazily fixing his predicament
Micheal Myers
> He doesn’t get why you want him to do this
> You know he doesn’t cuddle
> You know he usually gets restless and wanders at night
> But there’s no reason to say no, and even he can’t stand how sad your pout is
> You hum and stretch, tucking yourself in and look at him expectantly
> He takes off his boots and lays on top of the covers beside you, stiff as a board
> You have to coax him to even take the mask off, but he still won’t relax
> You quickly realize he’s used to high security psych ward bunks, not big comfy queen beds full of stuffed animals
> “…do you…wanna sleep on the floor?”
> He pauses.
> Shakes his head and closes his eyes.
> After you finally fall sleep, he sits up, intending on leaving
> But you look so peaceful…he can’t help to stay and watch you. Just for a little while.
> When he touches your cheek, you press into his hand. Maybe a while longer.
> When you wake up he’s still staring at you, hand long gone from your cheek
> But once you blink awake, it creeps somewhere else..
Thomas Hewitt
> He’s almost nervous of the idea
> Y’all are certainly intimate with each other - just as intimate as you would be if you were married like his mama was planning
> But what if the family noticed you were in there? He’d kill Hoyt for calling you anything nasty-
> When he sees you in skimpy PJs, he immediately forgets his worries
> He has a huge bed because he’s a huge guy, so when you curl up in it alone, it’s almost comical
> He’s staring at you as he climbs in after you, cautiously removing his mask
> His shoulders relax a little when you smile up at him, still so amazed you can stand to look at him
>“Hold me?”
> He grunts and takes no time in pulling you flush, spooning you. He’s more relaxed than he’s been in a while, sure he’ll fall asleep in no time
> Until you give a tiny sigh and shift your hips, innocently adjusting
> It doesn’t take much for you to set him off- he’s touch starved and obsessed with you.
> Along with feeling him against your ass, you can literally hear his breathing change.
> “…Tommy baby? Want me to take care of that?”
> It takes another two hours before you fall asleep, both sticky with sweat and sated, your head laying on his broad chest.
Bubba Sawyer
> He’s so happy to have a sleepover- even if you live right down the hall in the same house (I cannot imagine you dating him and being allowed to leave the farm tbh)
> He gives you an updated tour of his room- he’s very happy to show you the collection of polaroids of you he hung up.
> You were wondering where those went
> Finally he drops you on the bed, giggling quietly
> It’s old but comfy, and he has plenty of stolen pillows and blankets, and even some stuffed bears
> He strips right on down to his heart boxers, leaving his mask on for last
> He takes it off slowly, giving you that shy look he always does
> You grin and open your arms and he’s more than happy to scoop you up with a coo.
> By the time you’re settled, you’re curled around his back
> He loves being the little spoon, even if he’s a big brute
> When you wake up he’s bursting back into the room with some slightly burnt toast for breakfast
> It’s a sudden wake up call, but a welcome one
> And you repay him in tons of kisses, all over
Vincent Sinclair
> Like some of the others he’s hesitant
> But you want him to relax, he’s been working so hard- so you take him away from the studio, and into your room
> You’re not even letting him so much as sketch until he sleeps
> He tilts his head and is almost pouting, trying to guilt you - even more so once you help him remove his wax
> Until you coax him into his stomach so you can massage his back, that is
> You’re clumsy and certainly not a professional, but your hands on him is enough to melt away the stress
> He suddenly rolls over and grabs your hips as he hears you yawn
> It’s your turn to pout down at him
> But eventually you relent and let him cradle you close to his chest as he hums a nonsense lullaby
> You keep him trapped in bed the next morning as revenge, again straddling him before he can get up to leave
> But this time, you’re most certainly not yawning
#slashers#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#tcm 2006#tcm#bubba sawyer x reader#bubba sawyer#house of wax#vincent sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair#the boy 2016#brahms heelsire x reader#brahms heelshire#micheal myers#rz michael myers#micheal myers x reader#rz myers x reader#rz halloween#halloween#dead by daylight#slashers x y/n#slashers x reader#slashers x you#slasher imagines#gender neutral reader#g/n reader#cw suggestive#cw smut
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boydguard!rafe x popstar!reader (MDNI)
note: I made the reader blonde bc i really wanted her to kind of encapsulate sabrina carpenter, so if you'd like, ignore that and imagine her however you'd like!
warning: unprotected sex (pls dont do this lol)
ok, fine. you had a crush on your bodyguard.
rookie mistake, but who could blame you?
you hired rafe about a year and a half ago, after you started to gain a ton of popularity and recognition. your music had blown up, prompting and influx of new fans, and new attention. you had started to get recognized almost everywhere you went, and when your management company recommended looking into getting a bodyguard, you weren't opposed.
at first, the two of you didn't talk much - he was an intimidating guy, he was generally pretty quiet and constantly wore a serious expression, and although you considered yourself outgoing, you still found yourself a bit nervous around him (not to mention, he was seriously hot).
but after spending much more time with him, you began to crack open the walls of his harsh exterior, and began to get to the know the man behind the suit.
he was actually really kind, and although his resolve with strictly professional, he turned out to be one of the people you trusted most, which made you feel all the more secure that he was the one who held your protection in the palm of his hand.
although there was still so much you have yet to discover about him, you considered him a friend at the very least, even if he might not have considered you one back.
not to mention, your big fat crush on him.
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you've reached the point in tour where the days blend together, and so do the nights. you've lost track of how many shows you've done, and how many you have left. but you wouldn't change a second of it, despite your exhaustion and the homesickness that pools in your chest.
you've reached the miami shows, which were around the halfway point for the american leg of your tour. you had arrived at your hotel last night, which you will reside in for the next couple of days.
you awoke alone in your king size bed, the sun shining through the sheer curtains. you groaned as you stretched, the sheets slipping form you skin and pooling at your hips as your arms reached above your head.
you rubbed your eyes as you walked over to the bathroom, turning the water hot in the shower as steam filled the room. you let the water cascade down your body, smoothing down the goosbumps that prickled your skin from the cold room. you spent a while there, enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning.
after that you got dressed into a simple jeans and a tank top, throwing a hoodie over in hopes of inconspicuity. you grab you handbag before leaving your room, making your way over to rafes to knock on his door. rafe doesn't take long before opening it, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed, looking down at you.
he checks the watch on his wrist. "coffee time?" he asks.
"mhm," you nod whilst humming.
this has become a sort of tradition on show days - rafe takes you to the nearest coffee shop and the two of you sit down, going over the schedule of the day whilst you pry him for details of his life - it was a good dynamic.
after ordering you coffee, you and rafe found a table in the corner of the cafe, avoiding being recognised. you had black, thin oval sunglasses coverering your eyes, sipping you vanila iced coffee leisurly and rafe gave you the usual laydown. given the sunglasses covered your eyes, you took the oppurtunity to run them over his features, taking in the way his brows scrunched as he read the schedule off his phone, the bite he pursed his lips when scrolling to the next section, the way he ran a hand through his hair as he sighed and layed back into his seat - you saw it all.
ok, so what, you admired his appearance - so did everyone, he was a hot guy! the first time you really took notice of it was when you were scrolling on tiktok about 8 months ago, coming across a sideshow of photos of him and you, the comments thirsting over him and speculating about our relationship.
you couldn't look him in the eye that whole day.
you even embarrassingly wrote a song or two about him, one of them even making it in your album- not that he knew of it, but it was embarrassing for you.
it wasnt a crazy love song or anything, the title was "xo", and the precipece was really just admiring how hot he was and how much you wish you coud have him. so yeah, you get a little shy sometime preforming it, knowing he was backstage watching.
after rafe finished talking you placed your chin in your palm, leaning your elbow on the table.
"when did you get your first girlfriend?" you ask innocently, your influx of questions beginning.
rafe sighed like he always did, but he expected it. "9th grade. kylie newman. pretty brunnete." he respons montonously.
you frowned. you were a blonde.
"why'd you breakup?" you ask, swirling the straw in your drink.
rafe sighed. "think i dumped her to focus on basketball or some shit."
you snorted. "classic."
the corner of rafes lips tilted up in an amused smirk, as he scoffed and looked away, scanning the premises of the cafe. as if he was gonna find any danger here, you thought to yourself with an internal scoff.
rafe could pretend he didn't enjoy your company all he wanted, but you knew the truth. he found you amusing, and you would go even as far to say that he cared about you quite a bit, no matter how much of that he hides. he cares about your safety, and not just because its his job. you could just tell. you enjoyed your banter with him, no matter how much he pretended it was one sided and tried to stay strictly professional.
you continue your questions. "why'd you and your last girlfriend break up?"
he turned his attention back to you, leaned back with his arms cross over his chest. you eyes ran over his low visible torso, and you were starting to think that you eyesight wasn't as concealed as you initially thought, because he wore a little smirk on his face.
"cause a'you," he repplied bluntly, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion.
"ok, explain," you demand.
he chuckled. "nah, it actually had nothin' to do with you, really just this job. she wasn't willing to make long distance work," he said casually, as if it didn't bother him.
you frowned, having no idea he was dating someone right before taking this job. you felt a little guilty, even though you were secretly glad he was still single.
"im sorry," your murmur, sipping a bit of your coffee.
he shrugged. "not a big deal, it was a while ago now."
you nod, turning your head to take in the environment around you. you sigh.
"dont get me wrong, i love touring, but i'm exhausted." you say.
rafe nodded. "yeah, i can tell."
you roll your eyes. "how kind," you say sarcastically, but a little smile brightens up your features.
rafe chuckles. "didnt mean it like that, just meant i can tell since i know you."
you felt your heart flutter a bit as you held back a flirty comment, knowing he would ice you out if you said it. you had tried to be flirty with him in the past, but he didnt exactly tolerate it, taking a very professional approach to your relationship. that being said, you knew that you and him were closer than any other celebrity and her bodyguard - i mean, you could just ask any of your star-studded friends, they barely talked to their bodyguards.
you decided to play it cool and lean forward a bit more. "you dont know everything."
ok, maybe that was still a bit too flirty. you couldnt help it!
rafe raised his brows with a slight upwards tilt of his lips. "i know enough."
was he flirting back?
you bite your lip a bit and giggle, lifting you sunglasses above your head. "are you gonna come to the after-show ?" you ask, changing the subject, wondering if you could convince him since hes seemingly in a good mood.
since you were giving two concerts in miami, you did what you did at the end of every residency - you hosted an after-show. the after-show was really just the time after a concert where you and your team all got together in your hangout area at the venue and celebrated the show. rafe didnt usually come, instead standing outside the door on lookout.
rafe rolled his eyes. "your trying to get me in trouble." he stated, looking at you knowingly
your face twist in faux offense. "what!? i would never! you clearly dont know me as well as you think," you scoff dramatically.
rafe chuckled. "i'll think about it."
he'll think about it.
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you spent the rest of morning chilling, then rafe took you to the venue mid afternoon. he stood outside of your dressing room as you got changed, then you "forced" (as he said it) him to come inside as they did you hair and makeup.
you loved your show outfits, all consisting of short unitard dresses with sparkles and glitter, being the perfect mix of cute and sexy. the always did you hair with a slight wave and tons of volume, making it easy to toss during performances. you makeup was glowly and flawless, and you always felt like such a doll when you got all done up like this.
you wore chunky heels as well, which were a struggle to walk in at first but soon became easier as you got used to it. rafe sat on the couch as you talked casualy to him, the hair and makeup people smiling in amusement at his short responses, and your apparent unbothered state. your team at some point had entered the room, sitting around the couch as they made sure everything was prepared for the show. after the hair and makeup people finnished, they left, causing you to stand up from your seat.
you sighed, flopping next to rafe on the couch as he sighed, throwing his phone to the side and reaching behind your neck to un-squish your hair between your head and the couch, instead moving it so flowed off the end. you had told him a while ago that this was important so it didnt flatten, and you were honestly a little supprised.
your assistant snickered, knowing of your intrest in the bodyguard and you sent her an unserious glare. you sighed and leaned your head further back, closing your eyes as you focussed on breathing - an exersise that became a staple before shows. you brought your hand in front of rafe, and he wordlessly grabbed it, cracking your knuckles for you. that was also part of the tradition.
later on, when there was about 30 minutes before the show, you and your assistant emma were chilling in the hallways, sitting on the floor.
"so, hows rafe?" she asked with a little smirk. you nudged her. "shut up," you say, but a smile adjourned you features.
"c'mon, your telling me nothings happened yet?" she asked, her voice comming to a whisper.
you look around before answering. "its not like i havent tried," you huff, "hes just is so professional. hes set on the job, which as his employer, is great, but as the girl who wants him..." your trail off, biting your lip, "isnt great. and hes probably right, it'd be an awful idea to try anything." you justify.
emmas face is thoughtful. "yeah, i mean, your not wrong, but its bound to happen. your obviously both attracted to each other, so something is obviously going to happen."
you nod, but felt a bit of worry fester in your chest. you were worried he'd only want you for your body, not you yourself, which was something that you were so used to - you didnt want to put yourself through that again.
not too long later, you were under the stage, getting ready to be risen up to the crowd. holding you bedazzled mic, you get your classic pep talk from your manage kelly and nodded along, seeing rafe standing afar with his arms crossed over his chest in your periphery.
so when it was time for the show to start, you sent him a wink as you turned around, being lifted on to the stage as the screams become louder.
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after the show, your drenched in sweat, you hair is much flatter than before, and your filled with adrenaline still.
you receive the praise thrown your way by pretty much everyone backstage graciously with a big smile, still breathing hard and your heart has yet to slow down. once finally reaching your dressing room, you collapse on the couch.
you hear a knock on the door, and you yell out for the person to come in as you lift yourself up, and see rafe enter, closing the door behind him.
he tosses you a plastic water bottle. "good show," he compliments casually, causing you to beam.
"thanks. yeah it felt pretty good out there, energy was high, huh?" you reply, taking a long sip of the water.
he nodded, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. "mhm," he hummed, leaning his elbows on his thighs, "i specifically like that song you played in the middle of the set...blankin' on the name."
you hold back a blush, knowing he was talking about xo (aka, the song about him). you act nonchalant, crossing a leg over the other. "xo?" you ask.
his lips tilt up. "thats the one."
you hum, nodding a bit before looking away to avoid eye contact, getting a bit bashful. then you remember you conversation with emma before, and a sudden burst of confidence ran through you. you turn back to face him, playing with the hem of your short dress. "what about that one do you like?" you ask a bit boldly.
rafe blinked. "the dance is fun." he replies after a beat.
your body feels hot. the dance is a bit suggestive, much like the song, consisting of your hands running down your body and sinking low to the ground. he wasnt the only one who liked that dance, you had seen a lot of conversation about it online.
you hum. "what about it?" you ask, your voice light yet a bit suggestive. he raises his brows a bit at your question and you shrug casually. "for reasearch purpouses, of course."
he breaths out a chuckle, placing his hands behind him to lean back.
"the part during the chorus," he replies.
"yeah?"
"yeah, s'cute."
you scoff. "cute?" you giggle, sitting up a bit. "thats not exactly the intention." you state, biting your lip a little.
you were being obvious, you knew that. you could blame it on the post-show high, but you knew that wasnt why.
you were frustrated pretending that you didnt want him every single day. you were frustrated that he had continuously turned down your subtle advances, and pretended he didnt want you too. you saw the way he looked at you, the way he looked you up and down in your stage outfits when he thought you werent looking - you knew he was at least attracted to you.
he poked his tongue into his cheek. "careful, kid," he warned.
you tilt your head, gazing at him with faux innocence. "what?"
he shooks his head, breathing out a laugh. "swear your tryna' get me in trouble," he said, the air around you two beginning to feel thicker.
"trouble?" you ask, still playing the part. "i was just askin' what you liked bout' my show. why dont you tell me more? i've been waiting for some honest feedback."
rafe clenched his jaw a bit, sitting up straighter. "i think you look a bit desperate in the opening."
you raise you brows. "s'that so?"
"mhm. every guy in the audiences jaw was on the floor."
you tilt your head. "thats the whole point," you subtly tease.
you lean back, bringing you feet up to rest in his lap. he looks down at your shoes for a bit before looking back inquisitively at you. you giggle. "tell me more, rafe. im curious on your thoughts."
rafe shook his head with a somewhat defeated look. "you know my thoughts."
you perk up, swinging you feet off his lap to stand up right in front of him. "i do?" you ask, a flirtatious smile on your face.
he looked up at you, his jaw tight and expression grave. "enough, kid."
although usually you would be discouraged, maybe even a little embaressed, tonight you werent.
"not until you tell me your thoughts." you say stubornley.
he sighed, rubbing his jaw in frusturation. "what do you wanna know?"
you bite your lip, a subtle smile still on you face as your eyes glazed over with flirtation.
"how long have you known that xo was about you?" you ask after a moment, feeling as bold as ever.
rafe seemed suprised by my question, essentially outing myself. he pursed his lips. "long time, kid," he said, his lips forming in a subtle smirk.
you bite the inside of your cheek. "how come you havent said anything?"
"stop kid, you know why."
"cause you dont want any trouble? 'cause its not allowed? cause your just tryna do your job?" you answer boredly.
rafe nods. "mhm, exactly."
you take a step towards him, but rafe grabs your hips, stopping you from getting closer. he looks up at you with a dangerous expression, but instead of tell you to back off, he says, "what havent you said anything?"
your taken aback by the question being turned on you, but you dont falter. "cause of this," you say, looking down and refrencing his hands stopping you.
rafe looks too, but doesnt remove his hands, instead squeezing tighter. "yeah, well, this, is for a reason, kid."
you bite your lip. "ya know, im blankin on that reason right about now. how bout you?" you ask, you voice quiet as you felt the tenion between you two thickening by the minute.
your hands come down to his shoulder, smoothing over his suit jacket, squeezing his bicepts to feel the muscles underneath. your eye sigh follows your movments, his watching your face.
he takes a long breath, squeezing you waist harder. "princess..." he grumbles.
"stop me," you say, looking back at him, your voice quiet. "if you dont want this, tell me stop and i'll never bring it up again." your eyes held a bit of vulnerabilty, but were overpowered by the lust and desire you felt for him.
rafe almost looked pained - you knew you were putting him in a tough position, and it was a bit unfair, but you couldnt think of any other option. you knew you both wanted eachother, the only undecided factor was if you were going to act on it.
for a long moment he said nothing, and silence engulfed the two of you. after a while, his hands slid down to your hips, and his lips quirked up. "no one has to know, right?"
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before you knew it, rafe was stood up, towering over you as he held you face in his hands, kissing you roughly. you reciprocated his fierceness, moving to slide his suit jacket off his shoulders, revealing him in a long sleeved, white button up shirt. whilst his hands slide down to grab your waist, your hands slide up the back of his neck, running yours fingers up his short buzzed hair, pulling him closer to you.
he turns the two of you around before blindly sitting on the couch, bringing you down to straddle his waist. he lets out a pleasure filled hum before disconnecting your lips.
"is anyone gonna come looking for you?" he pants against your lips.
you quickly shake your head. "no, told them i'll be awhile."
he nods. "good," he says, as he leans back in, instantly resuming where you left off.
soon enough his shirt was off, and you were only left in your bra and panties. you got to your knees , smiling wickedly up at him, swaying side to side on your knees to adjust into a comfortable kneeling position. you hand hovered over his bed, toying with the buckle.
"can i?" you ask breathlessly, you voice filled with wanton need.
rafe nods, eyes filled with desire. "all yours."
you swallow at his words as you look down to undo his belt, tossing it to the side as you unzip his pants, sliding both it and his boxers down to his ankles.
you uncontrollably gasp, taking in his size as as your hands hover around his hard length. you look back up at him, batting your lashes up at him. "your so big, rafey."
he groans gutturaly, throwing his head back. "shit, princess. no idea how long i've been waiting for this." he says, letting out a breathy chuckle.
you bite your lip to conceal the wide smile fighting to break out, and instead push youself higher on your knees, bending over to hover you lips over his dick, spitting a string of saliva over his tip.
he sucks in a breath. "shiiiiiit. y'tryna kill me?"
you smile up at him, moving your perfectly manicure hand to begin to stroke up and down his cock. moving slowly st first. he looked down at the action, transfixed by the sight he had imagined so many times before.
you brought your pink lips down to him, smiling sweetly as you gently kissed his tip, watching as his stomach clenched and he held back a moan.
your wraps your plump lips around him, sucking up to move you lips arounds the sides of his dick, kissing up and around him. you stuck you tongue out to lick a long stripe from his base to this tip, wrapping back around his to suck.
you bobbed your head up and down, hollowing you cheeks so he could feel as much of you as possible. you didnt go for too long though, becuase not long after you started, rafe lifted you up from the ground and laid you across him, you upper body laying on the couch as your hips laid on his lap, ass perched in the air.
you gasp at the change of pace, trying to pull yourself up on your elbows to look back at him but you feel his strong hand pushing you back down.
"shh, just gonna getcha' ready f'me, s'that ok?" he asks, rubbing his hands across my lower back and down the curve of my ass. you nod eagerly, whining out a "yes" as he slides your panties aside, and slides his middle finger between my folds. you suck in a breath, arching your back up, pushing yourself closer to his finger.
rafe tsks, swatting your ass lightly, causing you to jump. "ah, none of that," he scolds lightly, rubbing the inflamed skin. "sorry," you murrmur softly, and he returns his finger between your folds. hes rubs arounds, collecting your wetness before pushing his finger in, earing a sharp gasp from you. he chuckles under his breaht. "fuck, didnt think you'd be this tight, holy shit."
you whine as he curls his digit, hitting that sweet spot perfectly. he moves in and out, your walls squeezing around him as he adds another finger. he curls both his digits now, moving them in and out of you, causing you to squirm.
he soon pulls your panties down, pulling you back up as you hurriedly unhook your bra and throw it somewhere in the room. you straddle him and in a rush, you grab his base and align your entrance with his tip, but before slipping down he grabs yours hips.
"fuck, no condom?" he asks breathlessly.
your face drops. "shit, i dont have any." you bite your lip. "im on birth control," you inform, honestly not really minding no protection, even if it wasnt prefered.
rafe cursed under his breath. "fuck, ok, thats fine. i'll pull out."
he pushes you down on his dick, and your lips form a wide "o". your walls constircted tight around him, your hands pushing down on his shoulders as you slowly lowered yourself down.
"r-rafe, oh my god," you moan softly as you reached his base. your eyes remained on his, the intimacy making the moment feel all the more hot.
rafe did most of the work, squeezing your hips as he lifted you up and down his cock, grunting out praises. it didnt take him long before he felt himself holding back, considering he had fantasized about this exact scenario before. you reached one of your hands down, you fingers circing you clit to further the pleausre, prompting you to throw your head back and let out a wanton moan. from there it didnt take you that long. you whimpered out pleads, not exactly sure what you were asking for, all you really knew was that it wasnt enough, and probably wouldnt ever be enough. you wanted to be as close to him as possible.
"fuck, m' almost there, pretty." he groans, lifting his hips to meet. you whimper, nodding along to his words. "same, fuck, im close."
at the confirmation, rafe speeds up his thrust, groaning as he felt your gummy walks clench around him. it was like you were trying to get him to cum inside you, which would be very bad.
you let out a series of curses that sounded so wrong coming from your sweet mouth as you released around him. your eyes stayed locked on his, your distance between your lips growing as you orgasmed, rafe slowing his movements down to guide you through it. as soon as you came back to reality, you lifteted yourself up and retured to your knees in front of him, you legs achign but you paid it no mind. you stuck you tongue out as you rapidly stroked his cock, finishing him up.
with the hotest groan you had ever head, he came in your mount, hot streaks painting your tongue white as you watch him throw his head back, eyes shut in pure bliss.
after a few seconds of catching his breath, he looked down at you, white still on you tongue as you waited for his attention. with a sweet smile, you swallow his seed, bed over to place a kiss on the inside of his thigh. "thank you," you murmur.
rafe chuckles breathily. "fuck, i should be thankin you, kid."
you grin up at him, before standing up shakily, rafe holding your hands to guide you.
you clear your throat. "so, you doin anything for the rest of the night? i was thinkin' bout a long shower and i might need the protection of my bodyguard." you bite your lip.
rafes lips tilt upwards. "y'know, i was thinkin the same thing, princess."
ps: this is very lightly edited for now, i will be workshopping a bit tmrw. just wanted to get this out for you guys tonight 🤍🎀
#popstar!reader#boydguard!rafe#xoxo#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfic#rafexreader#obx#outer banks fanfiction#outerbanks#bodyguard!rafe x popstar!reader#outerbanks au#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron fic#popstar!reader is also a bit of princess!reader in my mind
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HELLOOO!!! CONGRATS FOR THE 550 FOLLOWERS ON TUMBLR I HOPE U GET MORE FOLLOWERS BC UR WRITTING?? DELICIOUS 💗💗
But I would like to request seungcheol + dilfism ?? Like have u SEEN that man??
Thank you!! Have a good day!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE MAN <333 thank you for sending this in! LOVED writing dilf cheol. i swear this man and his sexiness of 30s will be the death of me. inspired completely by his new glasses look at caratland 2024.
this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.
genre: smut, enemies to lovers, age gap, dilf!seungcheol, lawyer au.
word count: 13k words.
warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ nsfw content. 13 YEAR AGE GAP, mention of suicide, single dad!seungcheol, a ton of legal terms (not vouching to be accurate because i am neither a lawyer nor a law student nor is my research perfect), seungcheol is a bit selfish and toxic (but there's a redemption arc), ANGSTY angst, but A LOT OF FLUFF TO COMPENSATE. smut warnings: protected sex, oral receiving (f and m), mild dirty talk, implicit size kink, implicit spit kink.
"it's my first case!" you whine in surrender, slumping on the shoulder of your friend, as you both re-read the case file in front of you for the n-th time this morning. yoona pats your head, but she knows even she can say nothing to console you. it must be either sheer bad luck or some unknown person's vengeance, that you're against choi seungcheol in the very first case of your life.
y/l/n y/n: the lawyer of the plaintiff, hwang seola.
choi seungcheol: the lawyer of the defendant, KNT enterprises pvt. ltd.
nothing can save you from losing your first case in the worst way possible. not even the stellar letters of recommendation from your professors. not even your exceptional performance in the national lawyers examination process. not even your diligence during your interning years that's earned you the title of golden rookie. everyone expects you to make it big, including yourself- but that's clearly not going to happen if you lose the very first actual case you have to face in your life.
"at least no one will mock you for losing," yoona says in a meek voice. you scoff indignantly, "as if that's any comfort. still doesn't change the fact that i'm going to start off my career on the worst foot possible. why does my luck have to be so shitty?"
"hey, think about the positives. imagine how much of a learning experience it'll be. i know best how much you consider seungcheol as your idol."
you sigh. five years ago, when seungcheol had blown up across the country because of his historic debut in the court of corporate law, winning case after case and setting precedents that were welcomed with open arms, you'd looked up to him. five years ago, he'd walked into your college for an invited seminar during your first semester and blown your mind away. five years ago, you would cry in joy at the opportunity to even spend a minute in the same courtroom as seungcheol and see him in action. five years ago, he'd been the ideal man of your dreams- perfect in every damn way possible.
the only issue with that is that he's still the ideal man in your eyes. even if losing the case against him won't make your nervous, just being in close quarters with him for long hours will make you infinitely nervous.
"maybe i should recommend boss to let you take up the ca-" you tease yoona, and she squeals, whining protests instantly. "no thank you!" you laugh, hoping to lighten the tension of the moment. but the relief is only temporary, and the weight of the upcoming case lingers in your mind for hours later.
_
the first trial of the case is a week later. before that, you decide to change your mindset to a better thought process- even if you simply assume that you're going to lose this case, you're still going to give in your 100% so that you can step away with no regrets and only more knowledge gained. the first step to that, of course, is speak to your client personally, without the intermediation of the firm you work at.
mrs hwang turns out to be a woman just a few years older than you. the primary reason why she's suing the company her husband used to work at is because her husband had been driven to suicide by the constant pressure in his workplace to keep some illegal activities and fraud under the covers, which had not only harmed his mental health and morals but also affected the way his superiors judged his work performance. she may be young, but she's lost her husband merely three years after their marriage, and just one look at her face makes your heart ache in sympathy.
this isn't the first time you've seen such a case. during your years of study, you've studied plenty of cases involving companies ill-treating their workers and leading them to take up drastic steps in desperation. not only does this case come under a serious mistreatment of employees under labour laws, but also violates laws governing corporations which demand them to steer off illegal activities and maintain integrity. it's a very interesting case, and you're highly intrigued and instantly drawn into the case. there are several nuances that you know you may miss out by a hair's breadth if you're not careful. but you cannot take chances. if you have to even put up a fair fight against choi seungcheol, you're going to have to leave no stone unturned.
at the end of your discussions with mrs hwang, you're fully convinced that the company is indeed at fault here. however, you're going to have to prove it in court with the meagre evidence you have- which is low anyway, considering how big companies use their financial and social capital to turn such cases remarkably in their favour. the primary example of that being them getting seungcheol, the country's top corporate lawyer, to represent them, while mrs hwang can only hire you, a rookie lawyer at a lesser reputed firm.
however, as you walk into the courtroom, you convince yourself to not think about how the odds are against your favour from the first moment itself, to calm your nerves. you're here to debut with a bang, and you will fake it till you make it.
_
it doesn't work.
it doesn't work because the moment you enter the courtroom, you see choi seungcheol sitting next to the defendant's CEO on the other side of the room, dressed in the most immaculate suit, his glasses perched on his nose as he inspects the documents you've submitted in court prior to the trial as preliminary evidence. when you walk towards the bench you're going to sit at, he looks up at you.
it's a careful, measured glance. a glance of confidence, a glance of self-awareness. he knows he's going to win. and yet, he smiles at you indulgently.
moments later, he meets you halfway across the room.
"good morning. i'm seungcheol," he extends his hand for a shake, his nose upturned as he looks down at you with an aura that nearly blows you away. you wish that you hadn't worn heels tonight- because if he keeps looking at you like that, your knees are going to give up.
"of course, who wouldn't know you?" you steady your voice mustering a smile.
seungcheol's smile does not change. "it's nice to meet the golden rookie finally."
his words send shivers down your spine. there's just something about meeting your idol from so up-close that you want to submit instantly to his infinitely higher knowledge and experience to you. there's also something particular to him that's affecting your mind and body- because if seungcheol at thirty-one was handsome, he's absolutely godly at thirty-six. he's aged like fine wine- the rimless glasses sitting firmly on his nose, tiny wrinkles around his eyes, and a few graying hairs around his sideburns.
you don't get a chance to respond as the judge enters the court and you're pulled away to your bench, sitting next to a very nervous-looking mrs hwang. you forcefully drag your eyes away from seungcheol, who still has that tiny smile on his face as he talks to his client, and focus on your client, giving her much-needed confidence boosts (needed both by her and by you).
_
as anticipated, the first trial does not go well. it's just your fucking luck that the judge knows seungcheol already- but then, it was wrong of you to not consider that already, knowing how famous he is. on top of it all, mrs hwang breaks down in the middle of seungcheol's questioning, shaken completely by his straightforward questions and uncaring gaze, and the court gets adjourned, leaving you stranded without any proper progress against seungcheol's stronger case. the next trial is scheduled for a week later. you wish you could think that your work has been cut out for you, but it's far from that.
the second trial comes quickly- but it doesn't let you progress much further. seungcheol looks even more nonchalant on the second trial- dressed in another suit, he's less fierce today during his questioning. you don't notice it, because you're too flustered with your own work, but his eyes stray towards you more often. his eyes glaze over with something soft every time you make eye contact, and you immediately look away, like you've been caught in the act. but seungcheol doesn't let it slip- he keeps up his passive aggression when he's shaking hands with you before exiting the courtroom.
"tough luck, rookie. focus between the lines more."
his words make you even more nervous than before, but you put on a brave face for seola's sake. this motivates you to change your gameplan, and you decide to stop focusing on existing evidence, which is scarce, and use more verbal reports of other employees who have willingly stepped up to speak the truth after the suicide of their friend and colleague. by the time you're just three days before the third trial date, you have a solid set of verbal witnesses who will provide evidence on your side, but every time you feel slightly more confident than earlier, seungcheol's voice rings in your ears and you lose all hope.
on the morning of the fourth day, you receive an email from your boss.
y/n, please attend a lunch meeting on my behalf with some of our older clients (whose list i have attached below) today.
you jump to the opportunity- being provided a chance to interact with the old clients of the firm is a lucrative opportunity to impress those who've stayed with the firm from the beginning (and naturally, have graduated into stakeholders at the firm).
so it's safe to say you're in for a rude shock when you reach the lunch spot at a five-star restaurant along the banks of the han river, and find none of your clients but instead you find seungcheol waiting for you.
_
"close your mouth and stop drooling," jeonghan's voice somehow appears in his mind when he sees you enter the restaurant. "you make it obvious how hot you find women in suits."
but seungcheol cannot take his eyes off you. hasn't been able to for the last two times he's seen you. even if the courtroom is no place for indecency, he's had plenty of indecent thoughts whenever he's seen you, dressed in your suits and blazers, your curves prominent and your hair tied up in a practical ponytail. he should not think like this about you- he knows it. you both are set up at natural odds because of the case- but somehow, that makes him more interested in you. and seungcheol would not have it any other way. he looks forward to each trial of an otherwise boring case just to see you- the passion on your face whenever you're arguing your case, the way your mouth opens in shock whenever seungcheol casually dismisses a piece of information you've clearly worked hard on, the way you stare in exasperation at the witnesses when they speak against your stance, the hunger in your eyes whenever you're questioning his client, and the fire in you that burns you to work harder before each trial. seungcheol hasn't seen a lawyer as passionate as you in many years- most would have given up even before starting just due to his formidable reputation, but you're not even intimidated by his on-brand dead stare that works on everyone.
"i was told i'm here to meet clients of my firm. i didn't know you hired our firm for your personal needs," you cock an eyebrow as you stand in front of him, and seungcheol smirks. that attitude does nothing to filter his thoughts.
"would you have come if i'd invited you personally?"
you open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. "have a seat, please. let's enjoy lunch."
you do so immediately. submissive. "but i still don't understand why i'm here." bratty.
he places a finger on his lips as the food he's pre-ordered arrives. the smell of the delicious food breaks your frigid attitude, it obviously helps that seungcheol's ordered your self-proclaimed favourite dish on your public instagram account. "i'm sure you must be hungry." seungcheol digs in himself, his eyes on yours as he carefully licks the spoon clean. your eyes flicker to his lips instantly before you're staring back into his eyes, defiance laced in your gaze. you pick up the spoon and start eating as well. seungcheol smiles.
i'm a dad to two daughters. i know how to tame brats.
after a few minutes, he finally speaks. "do you know the first step to winning a battle, rookie?"
you look up and tilt your head slightly in question.
"knowing your opponent."
"i already know you."
"that's what you think. that's why you're not going to win."
your eyes flash with anger. "are you just going to rub that into my face? is that why i'm here?"
"so what? you don't want to win? isn't the most loved story of human history the tale of the underdog?"
"frankly, my opponent isn't even you. it's your client, who isn't even here. so i don't understand the point of this meeting."
"so much can be learnt merely through observation, rookie. you can't know someone by looking at their annual reports and how much money they pay their employees."
"i don't need to know anything more than that! unlike you, i don't wish to meddle in people's personal lives to win cases. i don't need your brain games."
seungcheol chuckles. "the courtroom is nothing but brain games, rookie. think how far facts can take you, and then think how much further imagination can take you."
you gasp, pinching your nose. "i'm sorry, what? imagination? i'll win on evidence and evidence only. i used to admire you as an icon of law. but now, when i see you defend an obvious criminal with such blatant stubbornness, i'm having second thoughts."
"obvious criminal? are you telling me you've obtained the evidence you need to prove my client guilty in court?"
"and what if i do?"
seungcheol sits back, squaring his shoulders to his full stature. "you shouldn't tell me about it then, rookie."
"when you'd walked into my law school five years ago for a seminar, this wasn't the choi seungcheol i'd grown to love as an icon."
fuck. five years ago? just how young were you?
"i'd advise you not to get emotional about the case. the courtroom is no place for admiration or lov- or any other emotions."
"and yet, you have no desire to live up to the expectations of hundreds of law students like me who look up to you? you don't care about the youth you're letting down with this attitude?"
"why should i? i'm surviving just fine, aren't i?"
by this point, seungcheol can see the way your nails dig into your own palms in frustration. it's so amusing, how emotionally you're dealing with this. in a world of black and white, seeing you behave gray in every scenario makes seungcheol think he's lived thirty-six years of his life incorrectly.
finally when you cannot come up with any rebuttal, you stand up, dragging your chair on purpose to make noise. "there's absolutely nothing more for me to talk to you about. i hope you've learnt about me today, choi seungcheol. i've certainly learnt a lot too." and you walk away before he has the opportunity to say anything.
_
lunch with seungcheol leaves you shaken and stuttering. even as you open the door of the cab outside and ask the driver to take you to the office without a second thought, you spend the entire journey lost in your own thoughts. every little moment of the meeting lingers in your mind, unsettling your confidence. from the way he calls you rookie to his quiet arrogance and confidence, everything about him is so frustrating and yet... he draws you in. your perception about him has definitely changed after today, but even with the added understanding of just how selfish choi seungcheol can be, you can't ignore the sheer attraction you feel towards him.
it stays on your mind through the next three days. and on the morning of the third trial, you're stuck with two different thoughts plaguing your mind.
the first: a genuine concern about how the third trial is going to pan out. it's likely to be your last chance to even bring the judge's opinion to your side, because if you can't present good enough evidence today, there's no way to sway the jury to your side.
the second: choi seungcheol is a man who annoys you but you also have this innate craving to impress him. your respect for him hasn't changed, but your conversation with him has revealed to you just how cutthroat the world of law really is. and his suave attitude, the confidence with which he's so sure he's going to win, and his infinitely superior experience to you makes some part of you so desperate to seek his attention and impress him. show him that you can do well too. show him that you're not going to make beginner's mistakes. show him that you're more than a mere rookie.
but when you walk into the courtroom, seola next to you, your sunglasses perched on your head, you stare at the empty bench behind you. it was supposed to be full with the four witnesses you'd invited today and were relying on to sail through the the third trial. frantically, you ask your colleague who's assisting you in the trial, "where are the witnesses? are they running late? can you ple-"
"they're not going to come today, y/n."
seungcheol's icy voice cuts through the chaos and reaches you sharply. you spin around to find him dressed immaculately in a midnight blue turtleneck that shows off the stubble growing down his jaw.
"sorry, what?"
"you heard me the first time. none of them are going to come today."
"and how do you know?"
seungcheol smirks as he shrugs and takes a step closer towards you. "i have my ways, rookie."
you're fuming at this point, but you really can't speak your mind because seola breaks down in tears right next to you and you can't help but shift away your focus from seungcheol's dangerous eyes and take care of her.
it's honestly a miracle that after the complete sweep that seungcheol presents in the third trial, with no new evidence nor substantial evidence from your end, you still get another chance at a fourth trial, scheduled two weeks from now, in a pitiful announcement from the judge, imploring you to use this final chance to collect as much as evidence as you can.
_
when the trial ends, you ask seola to go home, and you lock yourself up in a bathroom stall in the court building, trying to come to terms with everything that's come to pass today. it's been an overwhelming morning and you're still shaken badly by it all. every moment you spend in this world with seungcheol, he seems to make it his personal mission to show you that there's no place for softness or emotions in this cut-throat world.
when you exit the washroom, you find seungcheol standing outside, an unlit cigarette between his lips.
"did you bribe them?"
he turns to look at you, his eyes clearly wide in surprise. "what are you saying?"
you take a step closer to him, your entire body shaking with fury. "did you bribe the fucking witnesses?"
"we're in public, woman, control your tongue."
"i'm not ashamed of anything i'm saying though, are you?"
seungcheol's lips twist in distaste and he drags you away from the public place to a quieter spot secluded near the parking lot. "i understand you're frustrated because of that no-show today, but you're speaking nonsense-"
"i'm speaking perfect sense, seungcheol! only you knew that i was going to bring in witnesses today."
"only me?"
"except two people at my firm, one of who is my best friend, and the other is a colleague who's assisting me in the case."
"who knows? maybe your friend's the snitch-"
you step closer to him, seething in anger. "don't you fucking make false allegations, choi seungcheol!"
"you're the one making false allegations here, really."
"you'll have to admit it, seungcheol. someday. if all your fame and reputation has been through such cheap tricks and under-the-table dirty business, you'll have to pay for it-"
"or what?" seungcheol puts back the cigarette between his lips, and lights it with a lighter. he takes in a big puff, and exhales right into your face. "or what, y/n? maybe you should take my advice instead. and stop making rookie mistakes."
as he walks away from you, you shout behind him, "i'm going to expose you, seungcheol!"
"empty threats, la la la." his voice trails back, sending shivers down your spine, as you're left alone in the dark parking lot, wallowing in your own pathetic helplessness.
_
your search for further evidence has led you to a complete dead-end. the most important thing that you need, the one that will clinch the case for you absolutely, is any - even one- document directly coming from KNT to seola's husband. unfortunately, you've gone through his emails and fax multiple times, but found nothing. nothing on his laptop, no hard drives, no soft drives, no external devices, nothing on his mobile phone or other such devices either. today you're searching all his belongings again and again, but it's still the dead-end. you realise that there's no point looking for more witnesses because seungcheol's just going to drive them away by whatever tricks he's using. and you're confident that seungcheol's thinking a step ahead of you- so any new evidence sources that you might come up with now might have already been dismissed by seungcheol through some back-up plan of his.
"seola, i need you to think once more, please. did he use any other device apart from the one at his office and the one at home? any laptop or any other mobile phone?"
"no... i can't remember anything else, really. we couldn't afford anything more too..."
you grimace. "i hope you don't get offended, but i'm sure he received quite a bit of money from whatever services he was providing KNT. enough to motivate him to keep quiet and hold on for so long. otherwise an honest man like him wouldn't want to get into this mess, would he?"
seola doesn't reply immediately, tears silently dropping down his cheeks.
you sigh and place a hand on her shoulders, rubbing softly as she breaks down into more tears. in the last few weeks, you've become surprisingly quite close. you've comforted her through her worst moments, feeling compassionate both as a woman and as a lawyer. and she, in turn, has helped you without any qualms, in not just the case but also lent a patient ear to you whenever you've wanted to rant, made ramen for you whenever you've worked till late, and let you stay over at her place whenever the rain outside's become too torrential for you to take the bus back home.
after a few long moments, seola is finally able to gain back her composure. "y/n.... he did mention something about an outstation office... towards the outskirts of the city. he used to go there twice a month. he told me it was for sending out packages to the other branches of the company... but maybe you could see there once?" your eyes light up with excitement as you hear seola's words. is this finally the breakthrough you'd been looking for through high and low? is this finally going to be your trump card to win the case? your rational side tells you to not become overjoyed immediately, but something in you is desperate to see that cockiness wiped off seungcheol's face, and bring him down to earth from whatever higher place his arrogance has placed himself at.
"seola, can you give me any tentative location for it? i'm going to go check it now."
"now? but the forecast is showing there's going to be thunderstorms tonight! there's so much thunder grumbling out there-"
"it doesn't matter, seola. i can't afford to lose any more time."
_
seungcheol's been stuck in traffic for almost an hour now, and the windshield wiper is absolutely useless in preventing the rain from cascading on his front window. the rain is relentless- just like the thoughts tormenting his heart. the reason he's returning home so late is because there had been a dinner party at the workplace cafeteria, hosted by his colleagues and closest friends, jeonghan, joshua, wonwoo and minghao. they're all lawyers with their own reputations, and the only friends they all have now. the point of the dinner? celebrating seungcheol's (upcoming) win in the KNT vs mrs hwang case. (and also to get seungcheol's mind off y/n, who's distracted him from his work all week, ever since their encounter at the parking lot of the courthouse.)
it'd been a mistake to stay out for so long. a sheer lapse of judgement, and seungcheol has not choice but to curse at himself right now. his daughters have called him already, their voices sleepy as they stay up for their father to return home to eat ice cream with them, before they fall into bed.
"and yet, you have no desire to live up to the expectations of hundreds of law students like me who look up to you? you don't care about the youth you're letting down with this attitude?"
y/n's words ring in his mind.
as the rain pours down cruelly, seungcheol's heart lets out silent cries.
he's a failure.
he's failed his family. thirteen years ago, when his parents had cast him out of their house after he'd failed to get a job at a good law firm.
that attitude's gonna get you nowhere, kid! stop running your mouth and focus on your work!
he's failed his first love. nine years ago, four years before he'd finally made his mark in the country's law scene, his wife had divorced him and left their children with him, because he'd not been able to earn enough for her.
stop being such a social activist, seungcheol! the world isn't soft like you. stop being so stuck up and emotional!
and now he's failing his daughters. day after day, they'd stay up late, waiting to spend some quality time with their father. night after night, they'd end up sleeping alone because seungcheol's insomnia didn't let him sleep with them. month after month, he'd promise to take them to their long-due vacation, but he was always too busy to take leave for two weeks at once. year after year, they'd wait for him to come to sports' day but seungcheol could never make it.
appa, if you can't take us to jeju... can we go for the school trip this year to jeju? all our friends are going to go for it...
all these painful thoughts triggered simply by one person- you. you're an unprecedented variable in his life, someone he couldn't even imagine to be a part of his life even a month ago. and yet, you've made him feel so many emotions, that had become dormant for years, in such a short span of time.
he's disappointing you too.
he doesn't know why it hurts what you think of him. seungcheol had thought that at thirty-six, he's finally ascended from these petty thoughts. but somehow your judgemental gaze, your innocent words and your fresh perspectives have shaken him to the core.
or perhaps he does know why, and he doesn't want to acknowledge it.
you remind him of himself.
but you're far better than he was. he'd been a coward, a loser, too quick to give up, and too hasty to drown in his own pity party. you're a fighter, a challenger, not accepting the cruelties of status quo, and too passionate to give up your sense of justice just to fit in with the cut-throat dirty reality.
you're 10 times the lawyer than he could ever be, and something about that makes him so inexplicably drawn to you.
because you're the person he's always wanted to idolised.
no wonder that when you'd told him that you'd looked up to him as an idol, he'd laughed at himself.
the traffic jam disperses slowly, and seungcheol breaks out of his daze. the clock shows 10.30 pm, and the rain shows no sign of stopping. thankfully, the traffic is now moving smoothly.
_
after almost half an hour of standing at the bus stop, waiting for something to pass by, there's finally a car with a very bright beam slowing down in front of you. it's a private car, but you hope it can give you a l-
"what are you doing here?!" the words escape your mouth as soon as you notice who's in the driver as the car window rolls down.
"get in, rookie."
you consider hesitating, but seungcheol's car looks warm... and safe. so you do get in, hating how there's water everywhere you're touching, spoiling the clearly expensive leather of the seats. but seungcheol doesn't say anything even as you shuffle in and finally settle on the passenger seat.
he thankfully doesn't ask you anything as he lets you take a breath and get warm enough. so about five minutes pass before he asks you, "what were you thinking, standing out there in this rain?" his voice is low, almost cracked, but laced with serious concern. you notice that he's still dressed in his typical suits. is he returning from work so late?
"i had work here," you say carefully avoiding the connection about the case.
"so late at night?"
"it was important."
"that it couldn't wait till the morning?"
"no."
you're aware by the way his jaw is clenched that he's getting annoyed by your short answers. but you have no option except to be as vague as possible- his mind works too fast for you.
"where's your home?"
you tell him the locality, and he sighs. "that's on the opposite side of town."
"i know, just... maybe you can drop me at a more crowded bus stop? the one where i was waiting was a bit remote, but a more crowded one will definitely have more frequent buses-"
"you're out of your mind."
"huh?"
"just because you're irresponsible doesn't mean i will be too. i cannot and will not leave you in the middle of the road in this rain so late at night."
"seungcheol, i don't want to barge-"
"you're not barging into anything. you'll come home with me, change into drier clothes and sleep in for the night so that you don't fall sick."
"y-your home?"
"yes. do you have a better idea?"
you gulp, his gaze stern. you don't have a better idea, in fact getting to change into warm clothes and get into someone's house sounds divine right now. the only problem is that it's.... seungcheol's home. if you can't handle him in his everyday suits, you wonder what thoughts seungcheol in his natural abode will spark in you.
"i'll always be grateful to you."
seungcheol nods, and the rest of the journey is silent.
_
seungcheol doesn't know yet if it's a good or a bad idea. he did it as an impulse- perhaps some part of him hopes he's still redeemable in your eyes, so he wants to do the right thing for once. but he won't know if it's the right think for everyone until he reaches home.
when he parks the car and takes you up to his flat, he can hear the television blaring harry potter from outside the flat, and he can see the way your eyebrows furrow at the sound. so he slowly unlocks the door, to reveal his two daughters sitting on the couch, undoubtedly watching their favourite harry potter movies again, wearing identical pyjamas specially designed for the identical twins.
he can hear you gasp as you step into the house, and the girls come into your view.
there's an awkward moment of silence and staring, before sol comes running to him and wraps herself around his waist. "appa! we're right at the last scene of prisoner of azkaban, your favourite part!"
seungcheol almost tears up. how can they welcome him so warmly every night even though he's come home so late?
he clears his throat. "sounds like you've been having fun, girls. but first, say hello to y/n unnie-"
"imo," you whisper next to him, your figure shrunk with the cold.
"no unnie," he whispers back. "this is choi sol, our maknae, and that's choi byul, my eldest." the girls wave and shyly say hello, their dimpled smiles flashing politely as they bow. you bow back, "hi sol and byul! sorry you're meeting unnie in this state~"
"are you also a lawyer?"
"did you get caught in the rain?"
"do you work with appa in his office?"
"do you want fresh clothes?"
you giggle at the contrasting questions from the two girls, their starkly different personalities evident. "yes, yes, no, and yes please, if you could be so kind," you smile back, your dainty lips curving into a pretty bow that takes his breath away. sollie shifts from where she'd been wrapped around seungcheol to take your hand gently. "do you think my clothes will fit you? i think byul's clothes will. she has a very warm nightdress..." and she drags you away to her room, welcoming you in without even a single moment's hesitation. byul is more reserved in her welcome, but still warm. she follows the two of you shortly, and seungcheol is left at his doorstep alone, but filled with such a flurry of emotions in his heart that leaves his soul warmed unlike he's felt in years.
about twenty minutes later, he comes out of his bathroom after a refreshing warm shower, his hair soft after the shampoo. he can hear voices from the kitchen, loud-pitched voices of his daughters and the softer, lower voice that he recognises as you.
"unnie, do you want to have ramen?" byul's voice rings out. "we were going to have ice cream but you might feel too cold for that." sol adds, "did you eat dinner, unnie? didn't appa eat dinner with you?" "no, w- we- he picked me on the way when he saw me stranded in the rain. we didn't have dinner... together."
seungcheol's heart breaks and heals a little at the same time. he's taken the right step for now... but seeing his little girls like this have generated images and thoughts in his mind that he had shelved away forever.
the idea of a family.
the idea of giving them a new mother figure.
as he walks towards the kitchen, he can see the way sol and byul cling to you although they've met you barely half an hour ago. perhaps it's because they don't have any cousins and you feel like a sister? perhaps it's because they like bossing over adults, especially since they boss over him so much? perhaps it's because they've already been charmed by your magnetic appeal- your softness and your innocence, mingled with an intelligence that lets you befriend everyone.
"are y'all annoying y/n already?" byul immediately faux pouts, and he can see your eyes light up. "seungcheol, she looks exactly like you," your voice whispers with the revelation. "yes, she's my daughter. kinda expected, don't you think?" he laughs. it's sarcastic of course, because sol and byul actually resemble him more than any other father-daughter pair he's seen in his life. it's almost like they haven't gotten any of their mother's genes. and seungcheol doesn't really regret it. it's been nine years, he's gotten over that pain. his only regret is to not be able to provide a second parent to his children, who'd grown up in spite of being cut off completely by their mother. and his busy life has left him with no space to date or even think of marriage...
except right now.
right now, when he sees you wearing byul's nightdress that barely reaches your knees, cooking ramen with sol sitting on the kitchen counter next to you, chatting away about harry potter, and byul carefully carving out ice cream into bowls for the four of them, seungcheol thinks maybe it's time.
maybe he's found the one.
and maybe, he's already fallen beyond scope to return.
_
you didn't get much chance to talk to seungcheol last night, but when you wake up on the guest bed the next morning, you can see him as soon as you open the door. he's sitting in the balcony, sipping a cup of tea, reading a newspaper, his glasses sitting prettily on his nose.
"morning," your voice is still raspy in spite of your sleep being perfectly fulfilling.
he turns to look at you, his gaze uncharacteristically soft, much different from how he sees you at court.
"hi. tea?"
you nod, and wobble over to sit next to him. the tea clears your throat a lot, and you can finally open your eyes wide enough to see the glorious view from his balcony. so you soak in the nature for some time, while seungcheol buries his nose into the newspaper again.
"i didn't know you were a father."
seungcheol hums. "did you like them? my girls? they liked you a lot."
"can't help but not like them. they balance each other so perfectly- as if they're your twin personas."
"that's deep."
"but it's true."
seungcheol chuckles and goes back to his newspaper. the morning air hits your face and you feel so much more alive than you'd normally do on a thursday morning. "when do you have to get to work?" he asks you.
"i still have about an hour and half left."
"will you go home and then-"
"yeah. the office is really close to my place, like a minute's walk. so i'll leave soon, don't worry-"
"you'll stay for breakfast." seungcheol says firmly. "the girls will want to see you before you leave."
and you can't turn that down. so you simply nod in agreement, carefully taking a look at the man sitting across you. seungcheol at home is so unimaginably different from seungcheol at court. if he's fire in the courtroom, then he's water at home. he's cold and practical in the real world, but with his daughters, he's the most gentle person you've met. something about the soft smile he gives when he indulges his girls. something about the way his eyes light up whenever they talk to him about anything, even if it's trivial. something about the way he's taken care of you since last night, not just giving you a shelter during a terrible night but also giving you so much warmth from his personal life. it's all made you see a completely different side to seungcheol than you'd met at the courtroom, and it's changed the way you've grown to see him completely.
now you know that seungcheol was not harsh to you that day at lunch, he was simply being realistic. his cockiness and arrogance is just self-confidence, it doesn't define who he is as a person. and he's still a man you can look up to and admit, without shame, to yourself that this is the ideal man in your eyes.
your phone pings right then, and you open it to see the mail that's arrived.
the cup of tea almost slips and falls from your hands as you jump up in your seat in joy. seungcheol looks up at you in alarm, "what happened?" your smile is bright, just like the sun this morning. "i have an emergency at work, i'll have to leave now! please say goodbye to sol and byul from my side!" and you rush into your room to change into your clothes from last night, still damp but at least cleaner, and you literally run out of the house, waving and thanking seungcheol again and again, leaving him very very confused indeed.
_
seungcheol feels incredibly at peace the next day when he walks into the courtroom. even though you'd disappeared suddenly like that without any explanation, he's quite sure that he's back in your good books. not that it matters much- because what really counts is how he's feeling about himself. and after many years, he's feeling good. the usual guilt that engulfs him as a whole every day as he wakes up to face a new morning, isn't bothering him. he feels like he's achieved something, he's done something right, and he's going to get better from now on.
but as soon as he pushes open the doors of the courtroom, he feels like he's missing something out. everyone on his side of the bench seems flustered as hell, papers rumpled and expressions distraught. but he doesn't get an opportunity to ask what's going on because you catch his attention first.
"seungcheol, can we talk for a second?"
"not right now, i have to talk to my team-"
"this is urgent. you'll want to hear this, i promise."
seungcheol lets out a long sigh as he takes in your words. there's a crisp confidence in your words today that intrigue him. "okay go ahead," he finally replies.
"in private, if you please." he follows you wordlessly out of the room, and you lead him out towards a small isolated office in the corner of the building, that's totally deserted. seungcheol leans back against the closed door, completely silent as he waits for you to settle your papers and finally look up at him.
"so what's this about? you wanna kiss me or someth-"
"you're going to lose the case today. i've found enough evidence to prove the absolute guilt of KNT, and the ceo will go to jail by the end of the court session today."
"you're bluffing me."
"i can show you the evidence, but i'd rather you'd see it in court."
"then why are you telling me this now? to pity me?" seungcheol's mouth fills with bile as a dread settles over him. the tables are turned- now he feels as rattled as he had seen you feel that day at lunch. what if you're being serious right now? what if you've actually found incriminating evidence? but he's gone through all potential sources of evidence with his client, left no stone unturned to hide all tracks-
"so that maybe you can step off the case in time. do you really want your daughters to find out you've been defending your client for so long knowing you're defending a criminal?"
seungcheol's heart skips a beat.
"do not bring them into this."
"i'm not bringing anyone into anything. this is just me being nice to you because i know what it feels like to be disappointed by someone you look up to."
"do you hear what you're saying, y/n?" he takes two steps closer to you. "this is borderline blackmail. i don't even know if you're bluffing or not, and you're already blackmailing me using my daughters. have you fallen to the same crude level i'm in? are you going to disappoint me like this?"
his words have the expected effect on you. he can see your cheeks flush pink. "seu-seungcheol, don't twist my words." you take a step back, your back straightening as he sees confidence seep back into your face.
"and maybe you should stop worrying about my morals and worry more about how badly you're going to lose the case. from next time, don't make rookie mistakes." your finals words, before you leave the room, ring in his ears and cause goosebumps to erupt all over his skin.
as soon as you're gone, seungcheol slams the desk in front of him, his brain running at a hundred miles an hour. what might have slipped from his sight? what might he have missed? he immediately calls the ceo of KNT enterprises.
"what have you been hiding from me?"
"oh? mr choi, what happened to greetings? good morning to yo-"
"nothing's good about today morning, mr kim. what have you been hiding from me? i'm not going to ask you again."
"nothing! i've bared my entire soul to you for the case."
"mr kim, there's a fresh piece of incriminating evidence that's been found, and i cannot do anything to stop mrs hwang's lawyer from submitting it to the court unless you tell me what it is exactly."
"mr choi, you're mistaken, there's nothing left to be wiped-"
"the first rule of a client and lawyer relationship," his voice is seething and snarky, volume rising with each word, "is that you should never lie to your lawyer." seungcheol knows if mr kim was in front of him right now, he'd be quaking in his shoes. he can imagine a similar situation on the other side of the phone too. he knows he's intimidating enough when he wants to be.
"i didn't think it would be important-"
"you're not the person to judge what's important and what's not, mr kim."
there's a sigh and the voice becomes shaky.
"there's an outstation branch..."
_
the case ends unceremoniously. there are no paparazzi waiting for you outside the courtroom, ready to capture your life's first win. there are no cameras flashing on you, no historic moments being documented, no crowds gathering to celebrate this win for the masses.
there's just seola's happy tears and a wildly beautiful feeling of victory in your heart as realisation ultimately sinks in for you. it's a clean win- the evidence showing unmatched proof of orders coming from KNT to mr hwang, detailing all sorts of illegal activities and even records of payments being made to mr hwang. it's really crazy how it's not been eradicated cleanly already by seungcheol. clearly, either he or his client had underestimated you.
but you'd proven them wrong.
yoona's the only who comes to see you outside the courtroom after the win. there's a bright smile on her face as she hugs you and congratulates you. seola promises that she's going to take you out on a treat right now. other colleagues from your workplace call you to congratulate you on the win.
and yet you feel empty.
seungcheol's gone. he hadn't come for the trial. he'd not been in the courtroom for the final statements, his aide quoting something about a family emergency. he'd run with his tail between his legs, ashamed of his failure and finally realising his stupidity. this thought should be giving you satisfaction, but surprisingly, it doesn't. it leaves you feeling empty, still wanting something even though you've won the case just now.
but there's no way to reach out to him. you don't even have his number for god's sake, and it would be awfully awkward to go to his house. and what would you say? that you missed seeing his sad face in court when the verdict was announced? that you wanted to see if he'd be proud of you for winning the case? that you wanted to impress him by beating him in the case cleanly without any dirty tricks? so you go to eat out with yoona and seola, and decide to stop thinking about seungcheol any further.
_
it's about seven in the evening when you make it back to your tiny flat in a shabby part of town, the house dark as you'd left it in the morning after rushing home from seungcheol's place. you smile to yourself when you unlock your home using the password on the door, thinking of how you'd been with seungcheol's adorable daughters last night, and how much fun you'd had with them.
your bag falls from your hand as you open the door.
"seungcheol?!" your voice is a shaky whisper, shocked to see him inside your house. "how the fuck did you get in?"
he's still wearing the suit he'd worn in the morning, and yet he looks divine in the dim reflection of lights from the world outside the window.
"your password's your birthday. got it on my first try."
"and how do you know my birthday?"
he takes a step closer, his body towering over yours. "shhh. it's called knowing your opponent."
there's something so oddly intimate about seeing him in your flat, in the shadows of your home. the street light illuminates one side of his face, and you can't breathe because of how gorgeous he looks.
"why do you know my birthday, seungcheol? really it's not going to help you in any way-"
"it did help me get into your house."
you lightly pick up the bag from on the floor next to you, and you walk past him. "which brings me back to the first question. why are you here?"
you're purposely avoiding his gaze, the intensity making you feel things. there's a plethora of emotions in your heart right now- finally the emptiness in your heart dissipates as you can feel yourself surrounded by seungcheol. you're taking off your blazer, untying your hair, walking over to the sink to wash your face... but you can't ignore the way you can feel seungcheol's eyes on your back. his heady scent clouds your senses, and you feel weak in your limbs. first he's intruding your house, and now your heart too?
"i have a question to ask you." he speaks after a long time, when you've finally cleaned up and taken out a cup of strawberry yoghurt from the refridgerator.
"you could've asked me on the phone." you lean back on a wall, putting yourself as far away from seungcheol as possible in your tiny flat. he's in the darkness, you're in the light, but you're still feeling small and vulnerable under his gaze.
"i couldn't. it's serious." he starts walking towards you.
"seungcheol, if this is about me trying to expose your shit, i'm not going t-" seungcheol puts his hand on your lips, pushing you against the wall.
"fuck that. this isn't about that."
you cock your eyebrow, mumbling against his hand, "then what is it about?"
seungcheol doesn't answer at once, his gaze continuing to pin you against the wall, and a hand comes around you to trap you between his bigger body and the wall. "seungcheol?"
"answer me honestly, okay?" his voice is raw, slightly wobbly, and you're getting more and more curious. you nod slowly, encouraging him to say whatever's on his mind. but he doesn't say anything. a few minutes pass just like that- or maybe an hour. his scent makes you dizzy, you can't think of anything but how his big figure is over you totally.
"when you said you looked up to me in college... i know i ruined that image. b- but... can you... fuck. wait. canyoueverforgiveme?"
"what?" you ask, confused at what he just said. he removes the hand from your mouth, standing even closer than before.
"can you ever forgive me? will you let me show you a better side of me? can i ever get in your good books again?"
your breath stops for a second. why does this matter for him? doesn't he already know the state he's left your heart in since last night- ever since he'd brought you into his car, he's already been promoted to your ideal man again.
"show me a better side of you? what do you mean, seungcheol?"
he sighs for a second, before straightening his posture, becoming impossibly even bigger.
"will you ever see me as a man, y/n?"
your knees almost give in. the fuck is his implying? are you dreaming this? is this a fever drea-
seungcheol leans in and kisses your cheek, close enough to your lips, his breath falling on your skin, and making your body tingle. "will you let me show you myself to you like this?" on instinct, you tilt your head away to give him more access, your body shivering with the intimacy. so he kisses your cheek again, closer yet to your lips, and you turn your head slightly to capture his lips, but he moves away.
"y/n, don't leave me hanging please. i know you might find this odd... but i've come to feel things for you that i didn't even know remained in me. you're an extraordinary woman, one of a kind. in all my life, i haven't met anyone like you. not even my ex-wife. you don't know this yet but you're the ideal image of perfection i've always thought of."
then he stops talking for a second, clearly expecting an answer from you. but your mind can't form words, not with the way you have tunnel vision on his face right now, your eyes drifting to his pretty cherry lips, to his long eyelashes, to the beautifully expressive eyes you've fantasised about since your college days.
"y/n, say something please." his voice is desperate, and you break out of your daze.
"you're my ideal man too, seungcheol. you have no idea for how long." there's a blush creeping on your cheeks, but in the dim yellow lighting, you can see an identical blush rise on his cheeks too. so you lean in and finally kiss his elusive lips, feeling the taste of his chapped but pretty lips on yours, feeling the way his body steps even closer to yours, one arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you to him, and your body melts as you feel the warmth from his body. the kisses slowly grow in pace, the momentum rising, as he kisses you more and more hungrily, his tongue entering your mouth too, as he begins to bite your lips and leaves you breathless and moaning just from a few kisses.
"god, rookie. you sure know how to kiss."
"i know how to do a lot of things, seungcheol." you know you're bad at dirty talk, you've never really succeeded at it during your few college experiences of sex. but somehow, seungcheol's eyes roll back at your words and you feel his heartbeat quicken up too. maybe it's working on him?
you try to test your hypothesis by gently wrapping your hands around his neck, slowly untying his tie, slipping it to the floor. once it's off, you rub your hands all over his chest, feeling the pure hard muscle flex under your muscles. his breathing is as hot and heavy as yours, and you slowly untuck his shirt from his pants, unbuttoning it carefully.
"must you torture me like this, y/n?" his eyes are glazed over, but you look up at him innocently. "what, seungcheol?" "fuck it, you're such a tease, princess." princess. he pushes you against the wall and kisses you again, one hand wrapped around your hair as he pulls you in, and another hand helping you unbutton his shirt and get it out of the way. seungcheol doesn't stop kissing you even when he begins to unbutton your own shirt, but his hands wander all over the skin he slowly unravels. it's like his own adventure mission, the gentle but urgent way he touches your skin, almost worshipping.
"you're so perfect, y/n." you whimper when he cups your breasts from over your simple black bra that does nothing to flaunt your tits, but somehow seungcheol's appreciating it all. are you really his perfect woman?
"do you mean it, seungcheol?" your voice is so weak, but it takes seungcheol aback. "what do you mean, y/n? you don't think i find you beautiful? is that why i've been dreaming about you every night these days? is that why you're always on my mind? is that why i died and came back from heaven last night when i saw you with my kids?" your breath hitches as he tilts your face to look at him. "you're the most perfect woman i've ever met, i told you. you've gotta believe me, y/n. or do i have to show you?"
"maybe, yes?"
he groans at your words, and his eyes become darker. "fuck, where's your bedroom, babe?"
_
seungcheol's touch is like moonlight caressing the ripples of a pond at midnight. a soft, gentle touch that lights up every inch of your skin that he touches. as the moonlight kisses the water and makes it ebb and flow with it, seungcheol's movements guide your body too. he's laying you out on a bed, his hands wandering all over your skin. as he takes in your figure, you let him, because he's making you feel so good. he kisses all over your body, your limbs tangling as you can't get enough of each other. seungcheol is all muscle, his hard planes flexing against your supple skin. he pins you against the headpost of your small double size bed, one hand wrapped around your waist, and the other caressing your breasts, making sure there's not even a single inch of your skin that's left untouched.
"did i tell you i think you're perfect?" his words are feverish, and leave you lost for words. so you can't reply to him, hoping he gets the way you feel about him too through your desperate whines and moans, pulling him closer if he puts even a hair's distance between your bodies. something about him being so big and engulfing your smaller stature is so hot, you can feel yourself getting aroused by the minute.
"seungcheol, i w- want to... touch you," you finally whisper out, and he pulls away from where he's been kissing your neck. "but you are?"
you shake your head and shove him lightly until he's on his back, and you're hovering above him. he's still wearing his pants while he's stripped you naked, so you do the honours for him. "what are you doing," his voice is strained. "want to touch you there," you focus on taking his trousers off until he's just in his underwear under you- his bulge quite obvious to you. if you weren't wet enough earlier, seeing the massive wet patch on his grey boxers leaves your own underwear soaked. is he this aroused because of you?
seungcheol seems to read your mind as he brings your face towards his own, whispering with hot breath, "do you see what you do to me, princess? got me wrecked and ruined." his confession is so raw, you lean in to kiss him again. as you do, your hand wraps around his clothed dick, and he groans into your mouth. "fuck fuck fuck," he curses as you begin to rub it softly. "i'm going to cum right now if you do that- babe, p-please!" he finally gets your hand off his dick, eyes large.
and then you giggle. something about seeing seungcheol so desperate triggers something off in you, makes you more determined to ruin him. so you pull off his boxers and take his erect, red cock straight into your mouth. seungcheol's body trembles with surprise, your name leaving his mouth in broken moans as he cannot take the pleasure of your mouth sucking him off in an excruciatingly slow speed. and you don't stop, even when his hand comes around the nape of your neck to keep you in place, even when you feel his entire body tense up with the imminent orgasm. you don't stop until he comes inside your mouth, spewing string after string of his hot seed, and you swallow it all. his breathing is laboured as he watches you lick off the last bits of the orgasm from his dick.
but your self-satisfaction of having the upper hand only lasts for so long. seungcheol's competitive side kicks in soon and he quickly flips over to pin you under him on the bed, his teeth nibbling at your chest, leaving pretty hickeys all over.
"let me return the favour, darling."
you don't know what he means right then by return the favour, but never in your wildest dreams, did you think it would include seungcheol burying his face into your cunt, his nose rubbing against your clit as his tongue laps up your wetness.
"fuck! no- seungcheol- pl-please, cheol!"
"do you want me to stop?" he asks you, his face barely moving up inches from your pussy to look into your eyes.
you hesitate before answering, so he softly kisses your stomach. "tell me, princess."
"i've never done this before..."
"what? sex?"
"no. oral. like no one's ever gone down on me before..."
and seungcheol doesn't waste another minute. he uses his teeth to push aside your panties and inserts his tongue right into your sloppy cunt, and you scream out his name. he doesn't go slow, and you don't want him to go slow. he's showing you all the stars in the sky, so you grab onto his hair to move his head back to a particularly good spot, and he moans incoherently when you tug at his locks. and within minutes, you're reaching your high, your screams getting stuck in your throat as you close your eyes and arch your back off the bed.
thankfully, seungcheol gets his face out of your cunt and hovers over you to take in your writhing figure under the impact of the orgasm.
"so how was your first experience?" he asks you when you finally open your eyes and look at him, his lips smeared with your essence and his body.
"heavenly," you whisper, before pulling him into you, and kissing him again. you can get drunk on his kisses. he's leaving your lips abused and raw, but when he's spitting into your mouth, you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer, feeling the toughness of his back muscles shift under your touch. this position ends up making his cock graze against your clit, and you jerk in overstimulation. but you can feel how hard he's getting with the kissing and the way your hands are tugging his hair. the heavy length rests on your stomach, and seungcheol pulls away.
"need to be inside you now, princess." his words have this rawness to them- long gone is the smooth-talker lawyer choi seungcheol. it takes several moments for you to process that you've caused him to descend to this desperation.
"do you have a condom?" he asks you.
"hmm, i do." you point towards the dresser next to your bed, and he casually bends away to take it out from the dresser. you're getting more turned on by his easy flexibility, and as soon as he's got the condom rolled on to his dick, you pull him for kisses again.
"patience, baby," he laughs, as he pulls away again after kissing you, to nudge the tip of his dick on your folds. "nooo, need you now. need your lips." "did my kisses break you?" "i think so," your voice is a whisper and he leans in to kiss you again, a beautiful smile showing off his dimples.
and then he's slowly pushing inside you, making you whine out his name as you feel him stretch you. it's not an easy fit, but his kisses make the pain easier to bear. when a tear escapes your eyes, he asks you, his eyebrows furrowed in concern, "is it very painful?" "not very but it's been a while." he leaves kisses on your hairline. "i'll be gentle, princess."
you grip his locks tighter, pulling his face away to make eye contact.
"you better not dare, choi seungcheol."
something breaks in him. his hips begin to move faster, as he pushes your hands above your head, holding them as if handcuffed, and he's biting hickeys all over your neck. he's thrusting harder now, and your second-hand bed is already making noises. but it seems to arouse you more for some reason. something about him shaking everything around you and moulding you and everything about you to him makes you want him more.
you can't stop moaning his name, as he whispers into your ear, "i can feel how close you are baby. can feel your cunt clenching around me." "pl-please, cheol. need you more, please!" "more? faster?" you nod feverishly, and he pulls away, biting his bottom lip in concentration, one hand gripping the bed, and the other your leg around his waist, as he fucks into you.
you take in his full form, towering over you like adonis. beads of sweat falling down his pecs and his hair falling into his eyes. the sight is so beautiful that you cum right then, even as seungcheol fucks you through the orgasm.
you can feel that he's close, his dick twitching inside you, as he's making your eyes roll back. even after one orgasm, he keeps fucking you. "give me one more, baby. cum with me." and then he shifts one hand to rub your clit, and you moan under the additional touch. the last straw is when you clench around him so hard that he lets out a strangled moan and reaches his climax too. you can feel the condom become warmer, and you tremble all over as you cum again because of that sensation.
when your eyes open again, seungcheol's pulled out from you, but he sneakily lets in a finger in between your folds and licks it clean.
"seungcheol?" your broken whisper makes him look up at you.
he smirks. "you taste like nectar, baby."
_
seungcheol's insomnia doesn't let him get a full night's sleep on most nights. if he's lucky, he'll sleep for four hours at once, dreamless rest that leaves him fully charged for the next day. on other days, he'll stare into the night sky for hours, sleep eluding him. some nights he'll go to his daughters' room, and watch them sleep, his heart filling up with a warmth that's comforting like chicken soup. on other nights, he'll open his laptop, put on his glasses and finish his case files.
everyone wonders how seungcheol is so efficient at his profession. only he knows why.
but ever since you've come into his life, everything's changed.
he can no longer focus on work. he's distracted, making silly typing errors and forgetting details. but he's sleeping the best ever in a long time. he doesn't remember when was the last time he'd slept this well. it must've been before the fights had started with his ex-wife.
today, seungcheol sleeps for eight hours straight.
and he knows why.
it's because he's wrapped around you, your body melting into his under the duvet. your head's resting on his arm, but his arm doesn't hurt at all. your hair shines with the sunlight streaming in through the gaps between the curtains, but you sleep through the slight pouring into your eyes. you look particularly angelic today morning, and he feels his entire being shiver with the new-found affection for you.
you're his.
finally.
well, hopefully.
jeonghan had told him yesterday when he'd told him about his feelings for you, you've not been turned down until you've been turned down. so shoot your shot.
and oh, he had shot his shot. shot it too fast in fact. the clarity of the morning makes him suddenly worry if going straight into your bed last night had been too quick and you'll think poorly of him now. then there's the worry about you going to sleep without eating dinner last night- what if you wake up angry? another worry crops in his head as he realises it's a saturday. he doesn't have to go to work today, but you might have to. what if you get upset at him for not waking you up on time? the warm, glorious light in seungcheol's heart dims slightly as he realises you have so many reasons to turn him down.
so he lightly shakes you, whispering your name in your ear, until he feels you whisper out a soft five minutes. it makes his heart melt again, but he's more worried about you missing a work day.
"wake up, princess, you're going to be late."
as if hearing a magic word, you jolt awake, staring right into his eyes.
"late?! what's the time? fuck, it's nine-thirty!"
"it's saturday though. do you have work today?"
and then you fall back on his arm with a huff.
"saturday! of course i don't have work today. why did you wake me up!" you whine and turn around so that you're now snuggled into seungcheol's bare chest, your hair only slightly tickling him. the warm light in his heart shines bright again as he feels you cling to him.
"i didn't know if you work on saturday or not." seungcheol leaves a kiss in your hair, and you let out a satisfied sigh.
"now you know. never forget, okay? never wake me up on weekends."
never forget.
"i won't." another kiss in your hair. another sigh that makes his chest buzz. another kiss. and then you open one eye to peer at him, and he smiles at your cuteness. so there's another kiss, and then another, and then-
"stop!" you move out of his arms, giggling, your eyes finally open.
"i can't. you're too cute."
"shhhh!" you lean in to kiss him on the mouth, a gentle peck, and seungcheol takes the opportunity to wrap you in his arms again. "don't go far away." he's more serious that his tone implies, but somehow you realise that too. so you snuggle in closer, your head almost on his chest now. "i won't."
after a few long minutes of you being still in his arms, and him smelling your scent through your hair, you finally shuffle and pull him down so that his head is now resting on the pillow and you're resting your head on your palm, perched on the pillow using your elbow as support, looking down at him with clear fondness in your eyes.
"you're very romantic today, mr choi."
"do you not like it?"
"no. on the contrary, i love it."
at your words, he smiles, and you let out a fake gasp. "the rabbit has dimples!" and you attack his face with kisses, leaving him giggly and blushing as you smother him with love.
when you're finally done, he pulls your face in for a kiss and then you go back to your position to look at him from above.
"come lie down next to me."
"no this view is prettier."
seungcheol scoffs, hiding the way his heart is racing with your words. it's been years since anything barely romantic- a few dates here and there. but this is teenage seungcheol again, falling head over heels for a girl with a pretty smile and a cute way of speaking her mind.
"this view is the prettiest," he says and he's rewarded with your pretty smile again. so he spends a minute staring at the view, taking in your beauty.
you've not been turned down until you've been turned down. so shoot your shot. somehow jeonghan's nagging voice comes up in his head again and makes him remember that he's yet to ask you properly.
so he counts to three and says it.
"i like you, y/n. a lot. as i told you last night."
a strawberry latte blush taints your cheeks.
"and as i told you last night, you're pretty much my dream man, seungcheol. i've been crushing on you since my freshman year."
well that was easy.
"that long?" seungcheol feels his confidence cruise back, a smirk on his lips.
"don't laugh at me."
"i'm not. it's just unbelievable that you liked me back then. i wasn't even well off back then."
"who even cares about that! you were confident, manly, intelligent and passionate about your work. and so, so handsome. how could anyone not like you?"
"am i not handsome now?"
"of course you are, silly. that's why i still like you." you roll your eyes, as if it's so obvious. "i couldn't even date guys for a long time because i kept comparing them to you in my mind."
seungcheol's eyes go wide. "wait, really? that's kinda sad."
you laugh. "maybe, but who cares? none of them were nice in the end. that's why i kept going back to crushing on you." you lean in to kiss the mole on his cheek.
"how long has it been since your last relationship?"
"hmmm, about seven months? broke up before i graduated."
"and sex?" he hopes you can't see the way he's holding back his breath as you answer. "about a year."
and then he lets out his breath.
"and you?" you ask him, running your fingers through his hair.
he hesitates before replying. "nine years," his voice is weak.
and then you do what he's been fearing for so long.
you laugh.
"wow. that's like... that is long." but your expression changes into a serious one soon. "but you haven't lost any of your technique yet. so it's a win in my books. i don't even have to be jealous of anyone else. who was your last lucky lady?"
"my ex-wife." seungcheol winces as he mentally prepares himself for all the reasons you might turn him down.
but you don't. your serious expression remains even as you're surprised. "you were married? is she the mother of sol and byul?"
"yeah."
you nod your head slowly, digesting the information. after a second you say, "i can't fathom why anyone would leave you and your two perfect little girls."
seungcheol's smile turns bitter. "she did. but it doesn't matter. she's found a better life now, after moving away to the US with her new husband. and i've found a better life too, moving away from her."
you nod again. "you're very brave, cheol." and you kiss his cheek again, and seungcheol's heart swells at how maturely you've handled this conversation. but there's yet more reasons for you to reject him.
when you pull away to look at him again, you softly ask him, "are your daughters okay with the idea of you dating again?" dating. there are tingles all over seungcheol's body as you finally quash all worries from his mind. "i haven't explicitly discussed this with them," he says with some hesitation. "that being said, i think they like you a lot. you made a very strong first impression. and trust me, for ten year olds as stubborn as mine, a first impression is all that matters."
"they're just like you," you giggle, your hand fondly cupping his cheek. "but seriously. they like me as a friend... as your colleague. what if they don't like me as your... girlfriend?"
girlfriend. seungcheol wants to flip you down on the bed and make love to you all over again, but he resists his urge. he settles for wrapping his hand around your hips and caressing them. "they'll love you, princess. they've longed for a mother figure for long enough." after a pause he says, "i'm worried they'll not see you as a mother figure but as a sister."
you burst out laughing. "what?!"
"i'm much older than you, y/n."
"so?"
"i'm thirty-six, y/n."
"that's not old. i'm twenty-three."
seungcheol chokes on his own words. "exactly. i'm literally old enough to be your father, y/n."
"well, you'd have to become a father really really early then," you say, laughing.
"y/n, be serious."
"i am being serious. i've met men who're twenty but act like they're forty. what really matters is what you've got here-" and you poke at his chest where his heart's supposed to be.
"i'm going to die thirteen years before you!"
"darling, i don't think that's how death works."
darling. seungcheol's heart hammers against his chest as he pulls you in for a deep kiss. and then you pull away from him. "you're a dilf, seungcheol. that's like 80% of why i'm attracted to you. bet i wouldn't be attracted to twenty-three year old you." there's a teasing glint in your eyes, but seungcheol still whines as he feels upset at your teasing words. "babyyyy!" you laugh at his deepening pout, and lean in to kiss his pout in a peck, before getting out of bed.
seungcheol's mouth falls open as he takes in your soft curves which look even more alluring in the daylight. something about the way your ass sways as you walk makes his dick twitch in interest, but seungcheol curses himself. he can't be thirty-six and this hormonal, for fucks' sake.
you open the closet door to pull out a loose t-shirt and shorts, wearing them without any underwear. "do you want to stay for breakfast?"
a lazy grin spreads on seungcheol's face as he stretches his body in bed, relishing the way you ogle his stretching biceps, and he casually pushes the blanket away from his hips to reveal his toned stomach to you too.
"i want to stay for the rest of my life, rookie."
he's left with no doubt of reciprocation of his feeling as he sees the blush on your face as you hide and run from him at his cheesy words.
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augh. rewatched btvs 5x22 scene where spike & buffy go to buffy's house to get weapons before the big showdown. them having to retrieve weapons is such an amusingly flimsy excuse to have them go to her house so we can have the scene where she invites him in + he promises to protect dawn + "i know you'll never love me" speech. i love a paper-thin excuse to put 2 characters in a room together. especially when those characters are buffy and spike!!!!!!!!!!!!
it really is so striking the way spike refrains from asking buffy to let him in even though he would be perfectly justified in doing so as it's obvious that buffy has forgotten he's not allowed in. i think part of it is that he wants to make it clear that he will respect the boundaries she has set with him. but i also think part of it is that he doesn't wanna feel the pain of being rejected again, because that fucking hurt. if he doesn't ask then he doesn't have to hear her say no again. it shows how head over heels he is for her and how much he has changed since the beginning of the season, when he was challenging her boundaries so much.
spike's expression when he's walking thru the doorway......it's so endearing and some really great acting from james marsters. first surprise and disbelief, then glee which spike is trying very hard to restrain because these are grave times. and yet he can't help feeling so joyous that buffy trusts him. he glances as the doorway like he's thinking "ah yes what a nice house" which makes me laugh because it's so stupid but also sweet. i think it's him trying to play it cool and doing a not so good job of it. there's such a lightness to him - it reminds me of the feeling when you think you did something to upset your friend a few days ago and you're anxious that they've been angry with you all this time and you finally gain the courage to ask them about you and it turns out they were never angry or upset at all. the giddy relief you feel.
and then there's that little moment of tension where they're standing so close together and you think something might happen but then spike breaks off and goes to the weapons chest and starts rambling about what they should take. it's so notable that it's him who gets nervous and moves away. so different from the way he behaved with her in fool for love, getting up in her space and trying to make her admit she had feelings for him. he's accepted that she'll never love him back, and moments like this where it feels like maybe there could be something between them are too painful, so he disrupts the moment. moves away.
jumping to the end of the scene - i love that buffy is on the stairs when spike does his little speech. she's physically above him. "you're beneath me." not only that, she's ascending, just as she ascends at the end of the episode, accessing a level of heroism that spike will never be able to meet. rewatching this part, spike's expression really surprised me. when he says "i know you'll never love me," he doesn't look at all bitter or resentful. his face is open, understanding, compassionate, and thankful. because that's what this speech is - he's thanking her for treating him better than he deserves. he's so grateful for the respect and trust she has given him. it has been truly transformative, as we've seen. only he doesn't get to the actual thanking part, because he cuts himself off, saying he'll wait for her down here. i think he cuts himself off because he realizes that this isn't what buffy needs to hear right now. she's got an enormous battle to prepare for, and a sister to save, and spike's feelings simply aren't important. so he stops mid-sentence for her sake. i think we're meant to understand that the only reason he started to say this at all is that he really thinks he might die tonight and it could be his last chance to let her know what it has meant to him to be treated like a person capable of doing good.
i've focused on what's going thru spike's head in this post bc i think buffy is a lot harder to read here. which is interesting bc sarah michelle gellar as buffy is so expressive that usually you can always tell exactly what buffy is thinking. but when she's with spike in these episodes toward the end of season 5 it's difficult to tell how she regards him. i think a lot of the time even she doesn't really understand how she feels about him. their relationship is so paradoxical. she relies on him but she reviles him. she wants him around but she finds him intolerable. i might rewatch the scene again and make another post about what might be going thru buffy's head, but for now i'll leave it at saying that i kind of love how spike's feelings for buffy are crystal clear to us and buffy's feelings for spike are much murkier. spike started out as this cool mysterious antagonist, whereas buffy has always been the protagonist and we're constantly seeing things from her point of view and being made to understand how she feels. so it's kind of fun to see that flipped a little bit. and it also rings really true for me how buffy in this moment is like, i have 5 billion things to be worrying about right now, i cannot even begin to process whatever feelings i may or may not have regarding spike. and with all of that said........there really is a softness to the way she treats him in this scene. and it's nice.
anyway. these two ✌️ gonna go jump off a tall tall tower
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Gentle Hands
Pairing: Anakin x Jedi!Reader
Summary: Anakin doesn’t like being touched. Everybody knows they shouldn’t touch him unless it’s absolutely necessary. Until…
Word count: 6.5K
Trigger warnings: 18+ smut and drinking
A/N: Slow burn baby! It’s Clone Wars era Anakin cuz I’ve been watching Clone Wars a lot but just imagine early ROTS Anakin bc Hayden. Okay? Okay. Also we are so back. Ps, Zeltron spiced wine is an aphrodisiac. Just fyi. No relation to this piece of writing, of course.
It was a regular day. There was a soft buzz of commotion in the Jedi Temple. Nothing loud enough to annoy you but if it was gone you’d notice. Footsteps, voices speaking, the sounds of droids doing their business. It’s what normally woke you up everyday, the relative silence of the night would begin to turn into the early morning sounds of Jedi business. In all honesty, it made you feel excited to wake up. To see what new mission would be brewing, to hear the stories of the most recent expedition. The war had its effect on you and your Master but it never broke your spirit. You were proud to be who you were, to do what you do. You were even prouder to have Master Plo Koon as your teacher. He was the kindest one, at least to your knowledge. The two girls you often hung out with on your off time told you stories of how their Masters were very strict and had little to no empathy once the war had started. You deemed yourself lucky and even more so, grateful.
Your eyes watched the small skylight that was fixed to your ceiling. Being one of the older younglings, and now a Padawan, you got to move to your own living quarters in the main complex of the temple. They all had skylights and balconies whereas the younglings were bunked in big rooms in the lower levels of the temple so they would be harder to get to incase of an ambush.
You watched the thin clouds move across the bright blue sky quickly, telling you the weather was warm with a breeze. Your legs slid off the bed, your body following suit to bring you to a sitting position. The cold marble floor of your apartment was hidden by a single carpet right by your bed and your feet revelled in the feeling of the soft fibres keeping them warm.
The clock read 7:45 and you sighed. You only had 15 minutes to be up and outside before breakfast was served and with a sigh you walked on tiptoe across the cold floor into your bathroom.
With a lazy flare you brushed your teeth and washed your face. Your hair was still damp from the shower you had taken late last night instead of sleeping. You brushed out the damp curls and they turned into soft waves. You decided that was good enough before changing and heading out the door. The second you opened the door you were greeted by your Master.
“Glad to see you awake.” Plo Koon spoke with his arms crossed over his chest. You gave him a half smile as you reached out a joking fist to punch his arm lightly.
“You stalking me now?” You said and the sound of your own voice speaking for the first time today shocked you. It sounded like you just woke up for sure. A small laugh was heard coming from your Master and it brought a smile to your face. “What’s the plan for today, Master?” You asked in hopes to sway him from thinking you’d slept in.
He gave you a shrug. “Only thing I’m planning is breakfast. We’ve been on the go for weeks. You and I both deserve a small break.” He said as he peered into the space behind you. It was a mess. Your hand pulled the door closed with a nervous laugh.
“I could eat.” You replied with a shrug and he turned on his heels and you followed him to the dining hall. The two of you walked until your eyes landed on a taller figure. His dark clothes immediately made him stand out as he spoke to one of the Clones, you believed his name was Rex. With a shaky breath you watched as Plo Koon walked over to him. They spoke about something and you tried to unglue your feet from where he had left you standing. When you finally began to move toward them, Anakin glanced at you. Your breath caught itself in your throat and before you could take another step he nodded to Plo Koon and walked away.
“Your staring doesn’t go unnoticed.” Your Master said simply as he walked past you and it took every ounce of will in your body to move and follow him. As you walked you could have sworn you felt a pair of eyes on you and you whipped your head around to see Anakin talking to somebody you didn’t know, his back was turned to you and his hands were folded behind his back. You rolled your eyes, kicking yourself for being stupid enough to think he’d ever look in your general direction.
It wasn’t as if you two had never spoken. You were the same age, both partaking in the same level of Jedi training under equally fantastic Jedi Masters. Although, your interactions had never exceeded anything beyond polite and courteous conversation due to being in the same room as each other.
As the years went on, he became a bit taller, his hair grew and he chopped off his Padawan braid, his shoulders got broader, and your heart started beating a little faster every time he was around. It didn’t go unnoticed by you. It wasn’t some strange feeling that came out of nowhere. It was very prominent in your head at all times, your growing attraction to the boy. It was almost more aggravating to deal with when you knew it was happening. You’d fight yourself every day on repressing the thoughts that would populate in your minds eye at the sight of him. You’d heard multiple stories of his aversion to people. He didn’t like being touched, he barely even liked talking to strangers. You’d seen somebody try to give him a side hug once after he and Obi-Wan had successfully completed an assignment and the look on his face mixed with his blunt words of rejection made you fear ever coming close enough to touch him. The idea of touching him was reserved for your fantasies now.
The day had gone achingly slow and it felt as though your brain was far away from your body. Your master allowed you to go eat breakfast with your two friends and the three of you chatted and caught up, though you didn’t retain much of what they said. You barely even spoke, assuming a listening role, too busy thinking about the eyes you had sworn you felt on you earlier.
Once you had finished eating you returned to your Master who was sat amongst other amicable Jedi. The two of you walked through the gardens while Plo Koon gave you advice and some of literature to read up on. You nodded your head and made a mental note to visit the archives and pick up whatever he was talking about. He dismissed you, having no further work to give you. It had been three days since your last mission had ended and you thanked your lucky stars you hadn’t gotten a new assignment as you made your way across the long and beautifully decorated hallways of the Jedi Temple. Your eyes scanned the art that hung between every window. You heard quick footsteps behind you and your body turned in an instant, your relief was obvious when you saw the face of your friend who had clearly been wandering around looking for something to do.
“Where are you off to?” She asked as she slowed her pace, nearing you. You met her halfway.
“Just the archives. Master Plo Koon gave me some stuff to check out.” You spoke and she rolled her eyes.
“Just once I wanna hear you say you’re doing something normal.” She laughed and now it was your turn to roll your eyes. The two of you fell into step together as you walked toward the room full of all the information a Jedi could possibly need.
“Jedi’s don’t live a very normal life.” You responded and she simply shrugged her shoulders. She was a bit erratic and always had been an unconventional person. It had always been clear she longed for a normal life but she wasn’t from a good family nor a good place, she knew she was better off here.
“Well you’re not a Jedi yet.” She nudged you gently with a small smile on her face. You turned your body to face her as you walked in front of her with a look of mocked shock on your face. Turning the corner, you began to say something snarky in response but her hand reached out to you and her eyes went wide.
“Y/N watch ou-“ She pursed her lips, cutting herself off when you felt a light thud against your back. You felt hands grip your shoulders gently and you whipped around to see who you had so carelessly walked into. You were faced with a chest at first but with a small upward tilt of your head you saw the curly hair and blue eyes you spent most days thinking about staring directly at you.
Of course it would be him.
Your embarrassment was painted over every aspect of you. Your shoulders slumped and your cheeks reddened. Until you realized that there was no glare, no scowl. He looked down at you with what seemed like a hint of a smile. Your heart almost leaped out of your chest as you backed away from his touch. His hands seemed to attempt to linger on your shoulders before dropping to his sides. With a deep breath you began to apologize and he looked between you and your friend.
“Didn’t see you there, my fault.” He said gently as he slipped by the two of you. “Have a nice evening.” He finished. You looked back at your friend and you couldn’t imagine your facial features were much different from hers. With wide eyes and slightly parted lips you both shook your heads as he walked away.
“Sorry!” You finally blurted out behind him, causing your eyes to squeeze shut. You wished you could curl up inside yourself and die when all you heard in response was his distant chuckle. The two of you watched as he entered a room and closed the door behind him and the second he was gone, your friend began to cackle.
“Sorry.” She mimicked as you stared at her. “Man. I was expecting him to tell you right off.” She continued to speak through her laughs. You didn’t say anything. You shoulders were burning where his hands had been and your stomach felt like it had been tied into knots. Another deep breath eased you into being able to move again.
“He’s so weird.” You said, brushing it off in an attempt to neutralize her. It worked and you desperately tried to change the subject by asking her about herself. The two of you walked and she rambled on about some mission she had just come back from until you got to the archives. When you were done downloading everything onto a small device, you turned to her. “I have to go back to Plo Koon. I forgot to ask him something. I’ll see you tomorrow?” You lied, desperately trying to be alone. She nodded and said something about seeing you tomorrow, you weren’t listening, before leaving you to go find something else to do.
You rushed to your apartment in the Temple, finally letting out a deep sigh when you heard the door of your safe space close behind you. You tossed the small device that held all the information you needed on the small table in the middle of the apartment before sitting on the couch beside it. You felt as though there wasn’t enough air in the apartment for you to breathe in, which made no sense, but you opened your balcony door anyways.
The soft sounds of the fountain in the garden and the bustling of people below you didn’t seem to clear your head. You sighed, feeling as if you might finally be going insane. The thoughts in your head were clambering over one another in order to be heard as you paced the main room. You ran a hand through your hair and tightened your fist at your scalp with another weary sigh. Without a second thought you began to drop all your clothing off your body, leaving them behind you like a small trail to the bathroom. You adjusted the shower to be on the coldest setting and stared at the water, thinking of how water never looked cold or hot; it always just looked like water. Before you let yourself think your way out of it, you stepped in and a loud yelp escaped your mouth.
“Shit!” You yelled as the freezing water unrelentingly pelted against your skin. You cursed under your breath as if you were mad at the water for not realizing you were uncomfortable but you pressed your eyes shut and took heavy, pursed lipped breaths. When you began to feel as if you couldn’t take it anymore, your hand reached out to the faucet and you turned it to a higher heat setting. The sudden heat hitting your body made you feel like you could drop to the ground so you did. You let yourself sit on the floor of the shower and warm up. Your breathing became normal and your heart rate slowed. The thoughts got quieter but they were still there. The feeling of the hot water on your shoulders mimicked a feeling you’d felt earlier and that’s when you stood back up and turned the water off completely.
With legs that felt like jello you dried off and pushed yourself toward your closet and found something to lay down in. You’d sleep early tonight and forget about it all in the morning, you thought. Soft linen pants and an equally soft shirt adorned your frame and you decided a drink wouldn’t kill you. You settled into a spot on your couch with crossed legs, a large glass of wine on the table, and a salty snack you’d been waiting to try in your lap. Your hand reached for the small remote next to you and you watched the screen in front of you flicker to life at the press of a button. You let whatever was on the Holo play, not bothering to find something you enjoy. You just wanted something to distract you.
Hours passed and your eyes were yet to get heavy. There was no level of relaxation that could make you go to bed. You glanced at the clock on the wall and chewed at a piece of skin that had released its hold on your lip. You lifted the glass to your lips and found it to be empty. The bottle was on the table, empty as well. You rolled your eyes and let a breath out from your closed lips causing them to flutter and make a funny noise. You felt seemingly alright for somebody who’d polished a bottle of Zeltron spiced wine, you thought. With a swift motion you stood up and wobbled like a newborn deer.
You might have slightly misread your sobriety level.
It took a few steps to steady yourself but you did it. Your hand reached for your hooded robe on the hook by the front door and you slipped on your boots. The pairing looked silly with your pyjamas and you decided to tie up your robe in a small effort to hide it.
You opened your door slowly and peered around the dimly lit hallways before stepping out completely and closing the door behind you, locking it twice to make sure you did it. Your footsteps seemed so loud no matter how quietly you tried to walk, they echoed off the marble floors and high ceilings. It wasn’t a crime to be out at night but as a Padawan your Master should always know what you’re doing, and Plo Koon was definitely in the dark on your actions.
You wandered through the hallways and noticed how vastly different they looked without the natural light pouring through the ceiling high windows. The paintings almost had an eerie look about them and the dim lighting had the opposite of a warm effect on you. You ignored your paranoia, it was just the wars sick effect on you. You began to hum to clear your thoughts, a tune you remember from your childhood. You didn’t remember much other than your life at the Temple but you held on dearly to the small bits you remembered from before.
Without you even realizing, the hallway you had wandered into seemed to have broken light fixtures and it was completely dark. You slowed your steps and reached into the Force for a brief bit of direction. You felt something in front of you and you felt your heart begin to race. You froze in place and squeezed your eyes shut when you felt it get closer. A small thump made a yelp escape your lips as hands gripped your shoulders tightly. One hand left your shoulders and your eyes widened in fear, your mouth dropped open but no sound escaped.
The loud hum of a lightsaber igniting filled the air just as quickly as the blue light that illuminated the face in front of you. Your look of horror didn’t wash away when you saw who it was.
“Y/N, what the hell are you doing sulking around in the dark?” Anakin spoke in a hushed yet aggressive tone. Your mouth opened and closed but you couldn’t get any words to fall through. He raised an eyebrow, his shoulders dropped and he looked more relaxed now that he knew you were harmless. It seemed he had the same fear as you did, walking through the dark halls. “Have you been drinking?” He asked, his hand never left your shoulder and you turned your head slowly to look at it before looking at him again with a nod.
He laughed. Now it was your turn to raise an eyebrow.
“What’s so funny?” You said, your voice barely audible.
“Nothing. Just the second time today you’ve walked directly into me.” He mused.
“I wasn’t walking.” You shrugged.
“All the same.” He shrugged back, his hand dropped from your shoulder and he made his way next to you, his hand now found a spot on your lower back. “Let’s get you back to your room.”
You shook your head. “I left my room for a reason.”
“And what would that be?” His voice had never been this quiet before, it made you feel safe.
“You ask a lot of questions. Why are you sulking around in the dark?” You built up the courage to speak to him like a normal person. Your drunken mind didn’t even notice that he hadn’t once let his hand fall away from your body since you had bumped into each other.
“I was going to the gardens to think.” He answered and it shocked you, you almost thought he wouldn’t. You looked at him for a moment before shrugging again, giving your head a tilt.
“I was too.” You said with all the certainty you could muster, which wasn’t much. He smiled again, it was rare you saw him laugh or smile and in the last minute or so, you’d seen both. It made your stomach feel warm and it wasn’t just the wines fault.
“Right. Let’s go then.” He played along, guiding you down the dark hallway with his lightsaber. He disengaged it when the exit of the Temple came into your vision. The door was pushed open by him and the hand he had on the small of your back, ushered you out in front of him. You realized his level of touchiness when he rushed over after you to place his hand back on you.
Your heart felt like it was making its way up your throat and you couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. Something in your stomach began to feel warm and your head felt so far from your body you thought you could faint. You didn’t want him to stop touching you so when you both got to a small spot in the garden, surrounded by bushes, you pulled him over by his arm and sat on the soft grass. He looked down at you with the ends of his lips curled and sat crossed-legged across from you. You mimicked his position and inched forward so your knees were touching his. Every single place that was touched by him went fire hot. You’d never felt like this. You weren’t sure if it was the wine or him, either way you would live like this forever if you could.
When he didn’t protest to your knees touching his, you looked at him. “Thought you didn’t like being touched.” Your words came out slightly slurred but you tried your best to hide it by articulating a little better.
“That is circumstantial, Y/N.” He responded, eyeing you. It seemed as though he was trying to read you. You felt judged but not in a bad way. You allowed him to look, even sitting up a bit straighter. Your head tilted again at his response. Your hand absent mindedly fiddled with the grass under you, twirling the blades between your fingers.
“To what?” You asked gently, feeling a quiet in your mind that you hadn’t felt since he had touched you outside the Archives. His eyes watched your hands play with the grass when he spoke.
“You.” He didn’t look at you. Was he nervous or lying? You couldn’t tell and it caused a small laugh to escape your lips. He finally looked at you, his puzzled features were desperately scanning you to figure why you would laugh at him.
“Me? You want me to touch you?” You laughed again. You wouldn’t be surprised if in a few moments you woke up in a cold sweat on your couch. Your nerves were gone, and he was here with you. He was touching you, he was looking into your eyes. It had to be a dream.
“What if I do?” He leaned back on his hands, his long torso extended in the most delicious way and you didn’t bother trying to disguise your staring. There was an intensity in the air that made it feel okay to be like this. You felt like you were heating up more and more by the second and you wondered if he felt the same. You watched his chest, it moved faster than a normal persons would, signalling that was breathing heavily.
“We did a mission together once.” He spoke again, snapping you out of your trance. You looked at him, your head shook as a reaction. That was two years ago, when you were both 20. You went on a mission with three Jedi and three Padawans including yourself, Anakin, Plo Koon, and Obi-Wan. They thought a big mission like that would do better with a larger group.
“I’m aware.” You said nonchalantly. You remembered it but you were shocked that he did too.
“You helped carry me back onto the ship. You got me water and dressed the cut I got on my face.” His hand touched the scar over his eye instinctively as he spoke. You looked away, following your arm down to where your hand was gripping the grass gently.
“It was nothing.” You shrugged.
“It was protocol,” He started, a shrug of his own mimicked yours. “But it felt so intimate. I felt like electricity had run through me every time you touched me. Every time you apologized for accidentally hurting me I felt my heartbeat in my ears.” He looked at you and you prayed he didn’t see you holding your breath. You ripped one piece of grass out of the ground and raised it to tie it into several small knots, the same knots you felt in your stomach. There was no use in pretending his words didn’t affect you the way they did.
“You can always tell me to stop if you want me to shut up.” He whispered as his hand reached to yours, taking the blade of grass from you and replacing it with his own hands.
“There’s no way you’re doing this right now.” Your drunken words came out a little louder than you wanted and you laughed as a response at your own inability to self regulate. You slipped your hands out of his and crossed them over your chest.
“What? You think you’re the only one here capable of feeling things?” He smirked, a joking tone laced in his voice. Your eyes widened and you looked at him.
“You don’t act like it. You’ve never spoken to me for more than a few minutes. You found me drunk and alone at night and suddenly you felt electricity all those months ago? Your heartbeat in your ears?” You laughed. Sober you wouldn’t dare speak to anybody like this. You were kind and curt no matter what the scenario. It felt like you had been possessed by an over-confident, aggressive, and unserious version of yourself. You didn’t mind it when you saw the look on his face. He had been joking but your serious response clearly wasn’t what he had been pining for.
“Would you rather I follow you around like a lost puppy? Or try to talk to you every chance I get? Why would I make my feelings obvious, Y/N?” He asked, his voice was still gentle and it made your arms tingle with the feeling of goosebumps raising.
“Maybe. Maybe I do. I spent years watching you, praying you’d let your eyes linger for long enough to see how highly I feel about you.” Your words probably didn’t make sense, but you felt they did. He got it, you could tell by the way his eyebrows pushed themselves apart from their furrowed position and his eyes adopted a more understanding emotion.
“Why dwell on me being an idiot and not focus on the fact that if you were anybody else you’d have been left alone for the night?” He asked and you rolled your eyes. Was he really that arrogant?
“Because you being an ‘idiot’ made me feel like a bigger idiot and a bit of a creep.” You said bluntly and he laughed.
“If I told you how I felt about you, I’d be the creep.” He chuckled and you raised your chin in curiosity.
“Do tell.” You mused, the serious air leaving almost immediately as leaned back on your own hands with a grin.
“No.” He shook his head with a small grin finding his features as well.
“Please? I’ll tell you if you tell me.” You tried to barter and even though you felt like a young, naive, school girl you enjoyed the aura of the interaction.
“Fine.” He sat up, his knees raised and he draped his arms over them and you followed, sitting in the same position. Your faces were a few feet away on account of how long his legs were but you stared at each other for a moment, stifling giddy laughs and smiles. “At first, I thought you were the most talented Jedi I’d ever seen. You’re smart too. Dedicated.” He started and you smiled.
“I know all of that, Anakin. Get to the good stuff.” You gestured your hand in the air as if saying ‘hurry up’ and he rolled his eyes.
“Patience.” He made a mockingly serious face before going on with his grand revelation. “I like that you’re confident in yourself. Everything I’ve heard about your missions was always positive, the trust your Master has in you is incredible.” He cleared his throat. He was beating around the bush and he knew it. You groaned a bit and he held his hand up. “But you’re also beautiful. I can always tell who’s laughing when I hear you. Even if I’m not looking. I know it’s you. It’s very distinct. If the suns raised every morning just to see your face and head your laugh it wouldn’t surprise me. I can always feel when you’re around, your presence alone is so loud… Warm and.. Inviting. I always think about you and whenever I catch it I beat myself right the hell up.” He shrugged.
You stared at him. That wasn’t what you expected. Not from a man with his reputation. You expected something baseline and boring. Even a bit sexual. He is a man after all but he shocked you for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.
“Why would you beat yourself up?” You asked, skillfully dodging all the soft and mushy stuff he had mentioned. He shrugged.
“Obvious reasons, Y/N.” He said simply and you nodded. “Your turn.” He smiled and you internally screamed at yourself for promising this to him. It was only fair but Maker, it was embarrassing.
“I hate to be the person who says something as easy as ‘I feel the same’…” You trailed off and he leaned forward, like he was eager to hear what you had to say. It made you feel special. “But I do. I might even feel more intensely than you.” You took a deep breath to help yourself get it over with. “I admire you more than you could know. I’ve never known anybody who’s been through so many adversaries and came over them to be as amazing as you. I think of you every day and since earlier, it’s gotten almost unbearable to deal with. I think about you during the day and I dream of you at night. I know it’s not right but I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you. Every aspect of you.”
You didn’t get very far in your confession before Anakin pushed both of your legs down and pulled you toward him. You almost floated toward him and into his lap. Your eyes stared at him wildly as his hand touched the side of your cheek, stroking it gently. “Anakin..” You started and he shook his head.
“Please let me try this. It’s all I can ever think about.” He whispered and you didn’t object. His nose touched yours and your eyes fluttered shut. His breath against your lips made some kind of switch inside of you flip and you pushed your lips against his as your hands grabbed at the fabric on his back before moving up to the nape of his hair. He moaned against you and you let out a heavy breath between your lips. The sound alone made you push him down on his back and you clambered over him.
He held you tightly to his body and rolled the two of you over so he would be over you. Through heavy handed kisses he whispered something but you couldn’t make it out.
“Hm?” You asked, pulling away. He stared at you with an intensity you’d never seen before and it made your blood feel like lava in your veins. You anticipated his response.
“Keep this up and I’m going to have to take some extreme measures.” His voice was gravelly and his breath hit your face with every syllable. You felt your breathing become erratic and sharp. You stared up at him and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes almost closed at the feeling. You pulled him back toward you, engaging him in another longing kiss. You moaned when his tongue slipped between your lips. Your hips moved up toward his instinctually and he pushed them back down with a sound that almost sounded like a growl.
“Don’t.” He whispered.
“Why not?” You responded. The wine had taken its natural affect on you and at this point, having him was all you wanted.
“I want it to be special.” He said as he pulled away from you. He had a level of restraint that he was struggling to maintain and you could feel it.
“You’ll have plenty of do-overs.” You mumbled before pulling him back to you and he gave in. He untied your robe and looked down at your pyjamas that were hiding underneath and a small chuckle escaped him before he began to pull away the clothing on your body. He left your panties on before he pulled his own shirt off. His pants stayed on and you didn’t care. You could stare at his body forever, so you stared with wide and lustful eyes. It was far better than you could ever have imagined and it made you squeeze your legs together.
His hand traced down from your cheek to your chin, across your collarbone and down the side of your body. He hit a spot where you were a bit sensitive and you jerked at the ticklish feeling. He smiled, tracing his finger up and down a few times to see your reaction. You whined in response and he didn’t waste anytime in giving you what you wanted.
His hand felt ginormous between your legs and you sucked in a sharp breath when his fingers danced over your panties. He felt how wet you were and a smirk washed over his face. “I’m not even gonna say it.” He laughed gently as he increased the pressure of his movements against you.
“Say what?” You said, your words mixed into the sound of a moan.
“How wet you are and how much I like it.” He leaned down and began to pepper kisses all over your neck and collarbone. Your eyes rolled back into your head when he slipped your underwear to one side and ran his fingers through your folds. Your back arched and you spread your legs a bit more for him and he smiled against your skin. “Good girl.” He whispered, causing a small whimper to leave you.
Anakin’s fingers worked your throbbing heat gently, starting with one pumping in and out of you at an alarmingly slow pace. You wriggled under him and he used his free hand to hold you still. “Patience.” He repeated his words from earlier. You tried to keep still while he added a second finger and increased his pace, curling them ever so gently. Moans fell from your lips and you tried your best to silence them. You focused on staring up at the stars above you, not even caring that the two of you were doing this outdoors, hidden between a few bushes.
After what seemed like a decade, he pulled his fingers out of you and pressed them against your clit. Your own excitement was all he needed for lubricant. He rubbed it slowly while sucking gently at your neck. “Anakin.” You moaned and he hummed as a response. “Please don’t stop.” You said desperately.
“I like it when you beg.” He whispered as he moved his fingers in quick circular motions against your clit. You felt your entire body jerk up toward him at the new feeling. You’d done this yourself multiple times and it had never felt as good as it did right now. Your eyes squeezed shut as your felt yourself get closer and closer to euphoria. Your hands gripped at his hair, pulling and tugging it, causing a moan to leave his mouth and you felt the feeling come barreling at you like a freight train. You felt your body begin to vibrate and all it took was a few words from him to tip you over the edge. “Cum for me.” He whispered and a yelp left your mouth as you released every bit of tension in your body. You grinded against his fingers and he slowed his movements. You rode it out until you were able to open your eyes. When you did, you saw him staring down at you and your cheeks flushed.
“I’m sorry..” You started and he shook his head.
“Please don’t be. I’ve thought about doing that for months.” He smiled and you returned the expression. Your embarrassment left as quickly as it came and you began to reach for his pants. His hand rested over yours. “Have you ever had sex?” He asked and you shook your head reluctantly. He sighed. “I can’t do that right now. I won’t make that something that happens when you’re drunk, let alone in a field outside the Temple.” He finished and you sighed. A nod followed.
“Okay..” You smiled and he gently pulled your shirt back over your head and began to raise your pants to your waist again. You lifted your hips to help him as he got you dressed before he put his own shirt back on. He grabbed your robe and tied it around you the same way you had done earlier before brushing your hair behind your ear.
“You’re beautiful.” He said and you pushed at his chest lightly. He grasped at his chest as if he’d been shot and fell over onto his back. You laughed at him and he laughed with you. It was nice seeing this side of him, it made him seem like he was just a normal boy. You liked feeling normal.
“I want to take you out. Somewhere nice.” He sat up, his hand rested on your leg. You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Like a date? As if we have the time.” You laughed gently.
“We both have time, while the council decides on what we need to do about this stupid war.” He shrugged and you looked at him, resting your hand over his on your leg.
“Fine. I’ll go on a date with you.” You nodded.
“Don’t sound too excited.” He joked as he stood up, pulling you up with him.
“I’ll try not to.” You smiled at him and your cheeks went bright red when he laced his fingers within your own, holding your hand as he walked you back through the dark hallways to your apartment.
When you finally arrived at your door, you unlocked it and he stepped in with you. You turned back to look at him with confusion.
“I couldn’t find my key. That’s why I was wandering around earlier.” He said sheepishly and you laughed harder than you had in years. It took a few moments for you to compose yourself.
“Oh that’s why you said and did all that? You just needed a place to sleep?” You joked and he rolled his eyes.
“I’d have found a cleaner apartment to do so if that was the case.” He joked back and you giggled.
“You can stay here.” You smiled and showed him the bathroom and the room, even though your apartment was small and you didn’t really need to. He made his way to your couch and you scoffed. “You just made me cum in a field and you’re trying to sleep on my couch? Go to the bed.” You said as you walked into the bathroom and you heard him chuckle behind you.
“You got a point.” He said as he sat on the edge of your bed. He pulled his shirt off and folded it neatly on the floor beside him, ignoring the fact that half your clothes were strewn across the room carelessly. He could fix that later.
The two of you laid down and he held you close as you fell into a deep sleep. You’d never slept that well before and neither had he.
#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker#star wars#anakin x fem reader#anakin#anakin skywalker x female reader#anakin smut#anakin star wars#star wars smut#anakin x you#anakin x reader#sw anakin#anakin skywalker smut#anakin x y/n#padawan anakin#star wars prequels#star wars x y/n#star wars x you#star wars x reader
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You're Losing Me - T.C.
Pairing: Timothée Chalamet x fem!Reader Warning/s: angsty Words: 4,155 Note: I was inspired to write my first ever timmy fic bc of @meetmyothersouls! <3
Flashing lights of the cameras and photographers calling out your name echoed the red carpet as soon as you stepped out of the limousine. You smiled brightly, excited to be attending your first red carpet event. You’re an actress that was given her big break last year and now you’re at the premier of your first ever movie starring Tom Holland and yourself. It was fun working with Tom Holland and you’ve grown closer as filming progressed. You can finally say that he’s now one of your best friends along with his girlfriend, Zendaya.
The whole time at the movie premier itself was a blur. You treasured your first ever movie, but you were way more excited for the after party. You couldn’t wait to meet new people and make new friends while you party all night.
You quickly got changed after the premiere and went straight to the after party venue. There, you saw him. Timothée Chalamet. You’ve obviously never met him before, but you always wished to be even in the same room as him and there he was, talking to Tom and Zendaya.
Tom glanced your way and motioned you to come over. “There’s Y/N!” Tom smiled.
Timothée looked in your direction and you could’ve melted right then and there. He was so magnetic. You were so drawn to him that everything began to move in slow motion. He gave you a warm smile and when you were finally with the group, he offered his hand for you to shake and simply said, “I’m Timothée. It’s nice to finally meet you!”
You shook his hand and blushed a little, “I’m Y/N, and it’s nice to meet you too! I’m a huge fan of yours.”
“Really? Because, I’m a fan of yours too. The way you portray your character is amazing and it feels real, if that makes sense. There’s no doubt that you’re very talented and I’m excited to see more of your work!” Timothée said.
“T, you don’t need to be so formal around her.” Zendaya chuckled.
“Oh, that’s alright! It’s actually pretty cute.” You giggled. Tom and Zendaya looked at each other with a knowing smile before looking back at both of you.
“Z and I will get drinks for us four. We’ll be back.” Tom said as he winked at you. You found it weird, but you shrugged it off.
“So…” you started. Timothée looked at you and asked, “Are you nervous? I don’t know, I just feel that vibe from you right now.”
“Yeah, I kind of am.” You admitted with a laugh. You sighed in relief after getting that off of your chest. Timothée laughed and said, “What are you nervous about?”
“Honestly? Seeing you made me nervous. You’re just so great and being able to stand next to you is already such an honor. You’re, like, my celebrity crush.” You told him. It surprised you how casual you were in saying all that. He was surprised to know that he was your celebrity crush.
When the after party ended, he followed you back on Instagram and asked for your number. From then on you’ve been texting non-stop. You started becoming friends and Tom was really happy for you. Turns out, he and Zendaya have been wanting to set you up with Timothée for a long time and they seized the opportunity when they found out he was invited to attend the after party.
After a year of being friends, he asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course, you said yes despite hearing many people tell you that he’s sort of a playboy. You didn’t care because the only thing that mattered was you and him. Immediately, headlines about your new relationship began to emerge. He was your first serious boyfriend and in the headlines, you were just another one of his girlfriends. It hurt that people saw you that way, but Timothée reassured you that he loves you and he’s serious about you too.
The first year of your relationship with Timothée was the best. He took you to Paris and gave you a promise ring. “I know it’s not an engagement ring and I know how much you want to get married, but I just want to give you this ring as a promise that I’ll replace it with an engagement ring someday.” He said as he blushed. His nose was pink because of the cold and he slipped the ring on your finger before giving your hand a kiss. You smiled at him and gave him a huge hug. “I can’t wait!” You exclaimed happily. You truly loved him with all your heart. You felt nothing but utter bliss.
Along with the first year of your relationship came some small struggles. Timothée got busier with movie projects left and right and you were struggling a bit in handling your new fame. You were lucky that Timothée was there for you to help you. You attended all of his movie premieres and he attended all of your important events too. Everyone loved both of you and even called you “couple goals”. You were supportive of each other and his fans were thankful for you for posting pictures of him often. Both of your fan bases grew from there. Despite the growing popularity, you and Timothée started a tradition. You and him decided that every Friday night would be your “indoor-catch up-dinner date”. You loved every second of it.
The second year of your relationship your acting started to boom. Soon, your name was as big as Timothée’s. Seeing as your relationship was very public, many directors always cast you and Timothée alongside each other for a more real chemistry on and off screen. Your Instagram was soon full of behind the scenes photos of you and Timothée. The fans absolutely loved it. This continued on until the fourth year of your relationship. Because of the money you both earned, both of you decided to buy a house together to move into. It was you and him against the world.
Timothée entered one of the rooms and was in awe. It was empty, but the light that shone through the window made the room more beautiful. It wasn’t the master’s bedroom, but it was special. Without thinking, Timothée looked at the realtor and said, “We’ll buy it!” You looked at him like he was crazy, “We didn’t see the other houses yet.”
“I know, but this room right here is too special to pass up. The light in here is just as gorgeous as you and y’know we could make this our game room or a date night room. We could slow dance in here or play cards or work. I’m just so excited to be spending some time with you here.” He said as he lovingly looked at you.
The fifth year of your relationship started being rocky. You never thought anything of it. Timothée did bring up the idea of not accepting projects that have something to do with you and him being together. “Oh, may I ask why?” You asked, wondering why he brought it up. “Y/N, I love you, but I miss being able to work with other people. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I loved working with you as a couple for, like, three years. We made over six movies together and I cherish every single one of them. I just want to work with someone now.” He confessed. It hurt hearing him say that, but you knew he was right. Both of you needed to grow as actors and for that to happen, you had to work with different people. You looked at him and gave him a small smile, “Alright. I understand.”
“Thank you.”
Soon, he was casted in a lot of movies with different people and you decided to widen your range. You walked on runways, you starred in commercials, you guested on podcasts, and you starred in music videos. You were always present when Timothée had a premiere, but he started lessening his public appearances with you at your events. Everyone didn’t seem to notice. Maybe because his projects were overshadowing yours or maybe because your important events didn’t seem as important as his. You didn’t mind, though. You just longed for him to be next to you.
In your sixth year, a video of Timothée went viral when an interviewer asked about you and his smile dropped a bit and said, “Y/N’s doing great. I’m happy for all her achievements. As much as I want to talk about her, I’d like to focus on the film please. That’s what we’re all here for, anyway.”
Meanwhile, a video compilation of you talking about Timothée went viral. Many fans noted how different you two are. Many say you didn’t deserve him. Others say that you’re too clingy for Timothée’s liking. You decided to post on your Instagram story, defending Timothée.
You defended him a lot more times after that.
You got nothing in return, though.
You stared at the promise ring on your finger during your seventh year and wondered when Timothée would propose. You were experiencing the seven year itch; it’s your make it or break it year as a couple. Many fans speculated a break up after seeing Timothée do nothing. You still defended him amidst all negativity. You posted him all the time and he only posted you once on your birthday. You were growing tired, but you faced every single day with a smile on your face, hoping to trick yourself into being your usual self.
Timothée started bailing on your Friday night dates, often choosing to party with his friends to celebrate something that didn’t concern you. You still cooked and made the whole place look nice, though. You didn’t know why. Maybe deep down you knew that your relationship is in shambles and that you needed to convince yourself that everything’s fine. You knew many people were questioning Timothée’s love for you and in an effort to save his reputation, you took a picture of all the food you prepared and posted it on Instagram with the caption: tim may be out with his friends now, but he made sure to cook these for me before leaving. thank you, my love.
You didn’t know what hurt you most: the fact that you did that or the fact that Timothée liked the post and commented “no problem. Anything for you. Enjoy.”
You cried yourself to sleep that night. Timothée arrived home when you were silently crying. You felt the bed dip down on his side and he whispered, “Thanks for the food. I’ll eat it tomorrow.”
You made it through another year. It’s your eighth year dating Timothée and he still hasn’t made his promise come true. However, you drowned yourself in your work. So much so, that you were even busier than Timothée now. Headlines were vile, though. Timothée was out of the country filming his new movie and you attended red carpets on your own. Many people compared your relationship with Tom and Zendaya. Many people attacked you for Timothée’s lack of presence.
“Y/N! It’s so great to see you. How do you feel that Timothée is not here with you on your special day? You’ve been nominated as Best Actress in your new film, but Timothée is nowhere to be found.” The interviewer asked.
“He’s out of the country filming for his new movie, actually! I’m extremely happy for him. He’s been truly blessed.” You smiled brightly at the interviewer despite feeling sick to your stomach as you had to put up an act in front of the interviewer.
“Well, I’m sure he would make time for you. Tom Holland always finds a way to support Zendaya on the red carpet all the time. Why can’t Timothée do the same?”
“Um,” You started. You feel so uncomfortable right now. “I don’t think you should compare my relationship with others because every relationship is different. Timothée supports me too in his own way. He’s a silent cheerleader, always has been and I accept him for it. Thank you.” You said before walking away. You wanted to cry.
After that, Timothée never even called or texted to ask if you were okay and how the event went. You entered the room you and Timothée loved and sat alone in the dark and cried. You were so tired of feeling this way, but you loved him with all your heart.
Your ninth year comes around and you find yourself glaring at Timothée almost always. You were just waiting for him to break up with you already so you could move on with your life. However, Timothée has been spending time with you a lot lately which made it hard for you to get mad at him. Even if what he’s doing is the bare minimum. He’s been taking you out on dates, he was bringing back the Friday night catch-ups, he’s posting you more on social media, and he even took a break from acting just to be with you on set. It gave the fans joy. It gave news outlets something to report about. Most of all, it gave you hope. Maybe the old him is finally back for good.
During your tenth year, a lot of people were confused. Everyone thought you’d be married with children by now. An interview of you and Timothée from ten years ago recently went viral. In the video, the interviewer asked you and Timothée where your relationship stands in ten years. Timothée, in the video, simply answered, “probably still together” with a small chuckle. You, on the other hand, excitedly said, “by then we’d most likely be married for about five years with two or three young children”. The fan who posted the short clip on Twitter captioned it with: it’s been ten years, but nothing happened at all i hope my parents are okay :((
Your body language has been on autopilot for a while now. In front of the cameras, you smiled brightly and laughed more, but if you looked closely, your eyes had no life. Your heart grew cold too. You were immune to any shenanigans Timothée has put you through. After years of not being in the same movie together, you and Timothée were casted as the main characters of a film by Greta Gerwig.
In the press conference, one interviewer asked you and Timothée about the video that went viral. “Yeah, we saw the video. I forgot about that to be honest.” Timothée chuckled as he looked at you with a small smile. You never looked back at him, though. You just stared at the interviewer and said, “I forgot about it too, but y’know when you’re working, you always don’t know that a few years have already gone by. One day, you’ll just realize ‘oh wow it’s been a long time!’. So, yeah.”
“Any plans on getting married soon? I mean, I think I speak for everyone when I say that everyone wants to see the Hollywood It Couple to finally tie the knot.” The interviewer added.
“I’m always ready for marriage. I think I’ve always been ready… no matter how tired I was. I think I’m just waiting to be asked.” You chuckled half-heartedly as you put down the mic on your lap and looked at Timothée, who was now looking at the interviewer. You looked at him with hope. You wanted him to defend you just once because you knew you looked like an idiot waiting for him. Thinking about it made you tear up, but you held your composure.
“You know, for me, marriage is just a piece of paper. I feel content with what I have now. Let’s see again in ten years.” Timothée joked, causing everyone to laugh with what he said going over everyone’s head. You nodded to yourself and looked away from him. You gave a big smile as everyone laughed. You were dying and he was laughing. How can he be so dense?
Vogue did a photo shoot with you and Timothée on your anniversary. They interviewed you too about having a long relationship. At that point, you were lying to yourself. Any body language expert would see that your eyes had no spark as it once had when you started dating him.
You were at the point in your relationship that you couldn’t feel him anymore. There’s only so much your heart could take. In your eleventh year, you found yourself sneaking out of your shared room to go to yours and Timothée’s favorite room. You would sit in the dark and cry at ungodly hours. You would sleep there too. Timothée never even looked for you. He just assumed you had work and left early. It happened a lot. Sometimes, when you walked out of the room, you’d smell something good coming from the kitchen. He was cooking breakfast.
“Oh, you’re here! You’re lucky I cooked a lot.” Timothée chuckled and set up a plate for you. He looked at you and it was evident that you’ve been crying. “Are you okay?” He asked.
Hearing that made you cry again. For the first time in a long time, he finally asked you that. Regardless, you nodded through your tears and wiped them away. “I’m alright. I was just reading a script that someone sent me and it just hit hard, I guess.” You answered with a teary-eyed smile before sitting down on your usual seat. You started eating the food he cooked as tears streamed down your face.
Your birthday came around and Zendaya threw you a surprise party at a club that you liked. Timothée wasn’t even there. He was working late on set. He probably forgot about your birthday. You didn’t care anymore. Your relationship is already in shambles anyway whether he knew it or not. When the party ended, it was raining hard outside. When you arrived home, there was no electricity due to the heavy rain. You didn’t go straight to your shared room with Timothée. Instead, you went to your favorite room and there was Timothée in the candle lit room with a small cake on the coffee table. He smiled at you and said, “Happy birthday, Y/N! I’m so sorry. I forgot, but I hope this makes up for it. I know it’s not perfect, but hey, today’s Friday catch-up. What a great way to celebrate your birthday, huh?”
You sat on the bean bag chair, stared at the cake, and looked at him. You were crying again. He frowned and knelt down in front of you, “What’s wrong? Do you not like the cake? We can get a new one tomorrow, I promise-”
“When are you going to stop with these promises, Timmy?” You said, your heart wrenching in pain. It was heavy, what you were feeling. You couldn’t handle it anymore.
“What do you mean? I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He said. He was lost.
“I know you don’t understand. You never did understand anything.” You cried. “It’s time to stop lying to ourselves. We haven’t been okay for so long and I feel sick to my stomach seeing you act as if we’re okay all day, everyday. I’m tired, T. I’m so tired.”
He looked at you; he really looked at you. It was then that he saw the bags under your eyes, the puffiness, the redness, and he saw the pain in your eyes take over the spark of joy. How could he be so blind? You were long gone.
“I’m tired of putting up a happy face in front of everyone. I’m tired of pretending that you’re happy for me. I’m tired of wondering how you can watch me walk the red carpets alone while you’re away in some country filming a movie. I’m tired of comparing and wishing for you to become more available to me. I’ve been supporting you since day one and you couldn’t even do the same for me.” You cried heavily.
“Is that how you really feel? I brag about you all the time to my friends whenever I see you strutting on the runway or walking on the red carpet with your castmates.” He said softly.
“That’s different, T.” You sighed heavily and stood up. “That’s different.”
“I wanted you there with me.” You sniffed.
“I am-”
“No! You’re not! You’re never here for me!” You shouted angrily as hot tears streamed down your face. “You left me to fight my own battles. You left me to fend for myself. You left me to defend you when many people said awful shit about you.”
“Who said I needed defending?” He asked, stubbornly. “No one did.”
“No one asked me to defend you, but I did it because I loved you! Don’t you get it?! I made sure to paint a good picture of you in front of everyone because I loved you!” You cried.
“I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay. I’m tired of hoping that the old Timothée I fell in love with will come back to me. I’m tired of asking myself when we’ll finally get married. I’m tired of defending you. I’m tired of proving to other people that we’re very much in love even though we haven’t had a picture in years.”
Timothée looked at you as tears streamed down his face. He was so blind to it all. He kept quiet as he listened to you.
“Prolonging this relationship is a huge mistake.” You confessed sadly. “I feel so sorry for myself because I look delusional, thinking you’ll back me up for once. Thinking maybe you’ll surprise me on the red carpet, but no. It’s always been your projects over mine.”
“Our friends are married and they have families now and I’m sick and tired of being left behind. I feel like I wasted years of my life just for this relationship to work, hoping every year that maybe things will change. I guess I never learned my lesson. I just wanted you to see me, but you never looked at me at all. I just wished you would look at me with the same passionate look you would give to the crowd. It’s hard to admit that you love them more than you love me.”
“The fucked up part is I can’t seem to hate you because I love you too much to do so. It breaks my own heart to decide not to be with you anymore.” You cried. “All these years waiting for you to just leave me is tiring. I’m leaving instead. My world revolved around you and it’s time that it stops.”
“I gave you a chance multiple times. You never did anything for me. You never said anything. You never lost anything. You never even risked one day of filming just to come see me. Your loyalty lies with your job and if it wasn’t clear to me before, it’s crystal clear for me now. I’m sorry for not being good enough.” You sobbed. You looked down at the promise ring sitting on your ring finger for the past ten years. You looked at him and walked towards him. You took off the ring, grabbed his hand and placed it on his palm. “Give it to the next girl you promise to marry. Just follow through with it this time.”
“Y/N, the only girl I want to marry is you.” Timothée cried. “I was going to propose tonight.”
Both of you sobbed as you looked at each other with very different emotions. You looked at him with tired eyes and in defeat. He looked at you with forlorn and hope; he hoped you would change his mind, but he knew deep down that you were tired of choosing him all the time. He knew you were going to choose yourself now.
“You’re so unfair, T. If you said that years ago, you knew I would’ve said yes even before you knelt down and showed me the ring. An engagement ring isn’t a band-aid for a broken mirror. If I said yes now, we’d still be broken; I’d still be broken while you’ll be out chasing the world as I’d chase after you.”
“I love you, Y/N.” Timothée cried. “I really do. I hope you know that.”
“I love you too and I’m afraid I always will, but I have to go.” You sighed heavily as you wiped your tears with your hands. Timothée pulled you in for a tight hug and you did the same.
News of your break up with Timothée was all over social media. You decided not to say anything. You were too tired of fending for your relationship on behalf of you and Timothée for years. It was his time to return the favor.
#timothee chalamet#timmy chalamet#timothee chalamet x reader#timothee x reader#timothee fanfic#timothee chalamet fanfic
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#i feel you op i also started initially to read the stories but got busy grinding for events instead 😭 #i also haven't read any of the events not even madguy bc i feel like im gonna miss a lot of context i feel sorry for my boys #although I've recently caught up to ch7 and it made me a stornger more brainrotted madguy fan than before #ppl said it's gonna get more insane later on and im nervous #but so far. the stories are GOOD i highly recommend reading it if you're able to #it's just kamen rider but with extra steps #also to assuage your fear (i hope?) i heard from the grapevines that the change to leon is minimal you can easily miss it (via @chipsncookies)
YES I feel a lot better knowing other people are in the same boat as me! :') as someone who only plays games very casually, the events are fun (and have been a good excuse to get those support stories on characters I was kinda ignoring) but SO distracting -- and they have a connected overarching narrative of their own (make sure you read them in order when you get to them!) so I don't want to skip any. which I guess is to say that my problem is that I'm enjoying the writing too much! how dare they.
overall it definitely has that Kamen Rider tone and feeling I was hoping for and I am VERY pleased with it! I do kinda miss the kitbashy monsters, though otherwise it's basically just Rider But With More Random Scenes of Characters Being Ridiculous At Each Other and that is exactly what I was after. (also exquisite taste, Mad Guys are best guys 🤝)
and as long as I still haven't gotten to episode 13 and can therefore continue to be hilariously naive, let me just say that I know what I'm dreaming of for Leon. he deserves it.
...although I do think it would be VERY funny if they made that whole big "WE WILL BE UPDATING LEON'S SPRITES TO REFLECT STORY CHANGES!!!!" announcement and then it turns out that they just like. hue-shifted his eye color slightly to the right or something. it's not even a big story beat, Leon just decided to try out some color contacts, maybe comb his hair back a little, and we don't have the heart to tell him to stop. :(
#art#ride kamens#mad guys truly embody my favorite type of character#which is the friendly neighborhood doofus and his pack of adopted doofuses#look this might as well be 'agata and his horrible children: the game' to me#jk jk the other characters are pretty great too#justice ride is a mom a dad a shounen protagonist and also mikami is there too#n a z e#slam days is a sitcom about three (four? three and a half?) roommates who keep getting thrust into wacky situations#and i admit i was a little eh on wisdom initially but they've been growing on me#part of this is due to jou's big introductory scene#wherein he barges into the private room going WHOOPS I WAS LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM -- HEY ARE THOSE COOKIES#and then proceeds to drop a bunch of exposition inbetween stuffing his face with the cookies leon baked special for us#meanwhile every time i get a tower story it's uryuu being super sweet while takato like. mentally villain-cackles over him.#honey you need to pack your hamster and RUN
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now i’m thinking about the bucktommy breakup again and i want to try and outline what essentially happened with my own interjections and thoughts in between
miceli’s anniversary date:
so they’re at their anniversary dinner and it’s all going well until the girl comes over and asks buck to take a picture of her and her friends. buck gets flustered, she flirts with him and asks for his number, he says no but fails to tell her why he doesn’t want her number (a whole boyfriend of six months sitting right there).
now, as an audience member, you’re made to think that this may cause an issue between them because tommy would be in the right to be upset by this. not that buck finds this woman attractive or whatever, but that he was unable to claim tommy/say that he was celebrating his 6-months w his boyfriend.
but, tommy’s shown to be quite understanding and this situation isn’t at all positioned as something that bothers him maybe beyond a few seconds and they don’t broach on the matter for much longer before moving onto what is meant to be the main “problem” (the abby of to all).
buck asks tommy about his history with women (which seemed to have been the goal of the prior scene, to lead into a conversation about being with women) and this is where we get the shocking (stupid) revelation that tommy and abby were engaged for two years.
so immediately, the audience focus is shifted from the situation with the girl and buck and how tommy felt, to tommy and abby and how this makes buck feel about his relationship with tommy. as a viewer, the situation with buck and the girl is now out of your mind because tommy was not really been upset by it but clearly, the abby revelation has caught buck off guard and not in a great way.
so now, it seems the driving hurdle in their relationship is their abby connection. except, tommy is not aware of this connection and therefore is not aware that it is even is a hurdle (which yeah i guess it’s bc we’re in buck’s pov but some insight into tommy’s state of mind would be nice considering he does the breaking-up). and while buck is spiraling, tommy’s just in the dark about it all.
buck’s talk with maddie and josh:
then we’re at the josh/maddie/buck scene where we hear that the abby of it all, particularly how tommy treated abby, is really bothering buck. then josh comes in with his speech and gives buck insight and a different, more understanding perspective, for buck to approach the situation with and it works. josh then asks buck a series of questions regarding tommy and it’s all very positive. so as an audience member, you see this as buck overcoming the hurdle and all seems well, even better than well, and he just has to tell tommy. it really seems like their relationship is headed towards a next positive big step at this point.
loft talk:
then we’re at buck’s loft because buck and tommy have a date planned so again, we’re made to believe everything’s going well, especially from tommy’s perspective. he’s so happy and light and free. but before they go the movies, buck wants to talk to him and be honest about something, which gets tommy a little nervous.
anyway, now for the reveal. buck tells tommy about their abby connection and maybe for a second we’re made to think this might be an issue for tommy but beyond it being a little weird, it’s not an issue and they laugh about it more or less. so, the abby of it all is resolved but then buck asks tommy to move on with him and bam. this is where everything changes.
we see that tommy is afraid. we see that he doesn’t think he can be loved and that he doesn’t believe he could be buck’s last because he’s his first. we see that he believes this is all very new for buck, he should explore, etc. but we don’t hear why. we don’t get that from tommy. he’s made to say such a matter of fact statement without stating any reasons so we don’t know where this comes from. (and i’m not saying that it doesn’t make sense for him to be afraid, or to not open up immediately, i think that’s actually a really great thread to unravel, but it’s something we can’t ground/was not grounded anywhere.)
was it because of the moment at miceli’s? was it because of the magnitude of moving in? was it because they hadn’t said ily but buck was already asking him to move in? was it because of something in tommy’s past? was it tommy’s own general insecurities? or all of the above? there are so many potential reasons and explanations but it’s really dependent on us digging and making sense of things and building those connections that aren’t very clearly identified by the writing.
but you know, it’s fine. because the narrative feels very open. it doesn’t feel like the door is shut and you believe they’re going to reconcile. they’re going to talk out their feelings, tommy’s going to clarify where everything came from, buck is going let tommy in on how he got to the moving-in stage, and they’re going to be fine (but then certain interviews come out and it’s like no actually this is meant to be the end). and then you’re just a confused as hell audience member and the whole story feels unbelievably clunky and disjointed even more than before.
overall, to me, it feels like they were so hyper focused with trying to get the abby connection in there for shock value and funny drama that they forgot to make sure that the narrative threads that led to the eventual breakup actually tied together in some way within the show itself. i also think the abby connection was entirely unnecessary and had no real bearing on the relationship or the breakup. it was too contrived and just for the shock and drama value.
and i said this before, and i know we’re in buck’s pov but since tommy was the one to do the breaking up, getting some insight into what was happening in his head to any degree either before or during the breakup would’ve been great.
anyway, this still only makes sense to me as a third act breakup. not to say that’s what they have planned for sure but to me that’s what makes sense.
#bucktommy#zahraa’s bakwaas#idk if anyone’s going to read this but i really just wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere lmao
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What I think the Slashers kinks would be
₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊ ˚ ☁️🔪☁️ ₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚₊
Includes: Michael myers, Chucky, Jason voorhees, Jack torrance, Brahms, John kramer, Billy loomis and Freddy Krüger
⚠️Smut obviously
˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.🔪༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.🔪༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.🔪༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.🔪⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.🔪༘
Michael 🔪
Well knife play obviously right? He would love to let it run over your soft skin and maybe even cut you with it a little
Also stalking..He would sneak up to your window and watch you change and such. Follow you around also making sure you're okay and safe.
Chucky 🔪
Two things: In his human form he would like it Vanilla, so just good old fashioned Sex, maybe handcuffs if he feels lil freaky
In his doll form I'm thinking of Predator and Prey..Yk haunting you around the house and when he finds you he would tie you up like in 'seed of chucky'.
JayJay aka Jason 🏕
He loves the outdoors..Not being seen by anyone but just doing it outside in the woods or by the lake. Like Chucky he would be highly into Predator and Prey and haunt you around the woods, then "attack" you and fuck you there.
One of the reasons why he likes the outside is cuz he doesn't want his mom to notice cuz she hates sex after what happened and wouldn't want her special boy to do such things.
Jack 🪓
Shit I know I'm using it wayyy to often but these are serial killers and that's what they like most. You guessed it. Predator and Prey. 😂 I mean you're in a big hotel with many rooms and he's bored so he went for it. He would love haunting you with his axe and slowly with his heavy steps walk past a closet where you were hiding. You could hear him dragging his hurt leg.
Also Cnc. Now that's a bit much for some I think but it's pretty much a kink/play that simulates grape.
Brahms:
Say it with me: Mommykink.
I don't think I need to explain much here, right? He is a little sub and has abandonment issues so he would be very clingy around you and let you lead him not only during the day but also in the bedroom. That's all.
John:
Hell Idk..I should ask the Saw fandom to do it for me.
But no in all seriousness I think he would like the daddykink. Just bc he is older and has fatherly instincts which leads also to the praise kink. He would tell you how good you were and how proud he is of you while stroking your hair having you on his lap. Simple and cute ><
Billy:
Shit idek 😭😂 but I think gun play maybe? Making you nervous with it and running it over your skin like Michael with his knife.
Wait now that I'm thinking about it..Probably bondage. He would love to tie you up and try new techniques, then watch your body proudly with his artwork on it and those many knots.
And last but not least Freddy:
Since he likes creeping around in dreams, he might also fuck you when you're asleep but also use his sharp hands to scratch your skin and scratch words like "slut" on your skin.
#slashers#slasher#slashers fandom#slasher smut#slashers x reader#saw fandom#saw#saw franchise#halloween#michael myers x reader#michael myers#michael myers smut#chucky x reader#chucky#childs play#charles lee ray x reader#Charles lee ray#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis#scream#scream fandom#peepaw michael#jack torrance#the shining#john kramer#brahms heelshire#brahms x reader#jason voorhees x reader#jason voorhees#friday the 13th
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For new BT prompts! I felt in my soul when you said NYE. New year, new chances am I right? Thoughts:
- One of them calls the other at 11:59 bc they can't bear a year without the other
- Called to a big outdoor party for a malfunctioning disco ball, stuck under mistletoe
- anything with Howie being a little shit about mistletoe?
- truly nothing better than running in the rain to try and beat the clock for a big romantic moment
- Truly, Tommy deserves a Love Actually moment from his himbo
- Big sweaty gay bar night out in all their sparkly holiday clothes and the only one they want to take home is each other
- Buck losing his mind and showing up at Tommy's in a raincoat and one of the lingerie sets that looks like a big bow
(I may have just inspired myself as well)
There's so much material here that I am just picking and choosing what I feel like writing 💗
--
"Can you please pretend that you don't hate this?" Lucy yells into Tommy's ear.
He raises an unimpressed brow. "I didn't want to be here in the first place!" he shouts back, and shoves her lightly back to her girlfriend.
Here is a gay club decked out with colorful lights and more colorful people, some of them literally. Music is pounding and the light show is sweeping over the heads of the patrons, most of whom are bouncing and dancing along to the music.
Except for Tommy, who has resigned himself to a few neon bracelets and glitter in his hair, courtesy of Lucy. She dragged him out of his quiet house because "it's new year's and you deserve a break from moping!"
It's not working very well. Everyone is singing or dancing or making out. Everyone is happy. The only ones not looking like they're there to enjoy themselves are the bouncers, and Tommy decides to join them outside.
They nod at him as he steps out of the club. Music and dancing spill out of the various venues up and down the street, adding to the festive air.
It's almost midnight when he checks his phone. Suddenly it rings, the screen lighting up with Evan 💕 (because Tommy's too much of a lovesick idiot to change it back to something less painful).
Tommy blinks at it, and then looks for a quieter spot before he answers. "Hey."
"Oh! Hey," says Evan. He laughs awkwardly. "I was planning on a voicemail. Didn't think you'd answer."
Tommy grins to himself. "Well, you might've needed my help flying a chopper into a hurricane or something."
"Even I'm not that insane," Evan says. Tommy can picture his smile. "I just wanted to say, um. Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year to you too, Evan. Though it is a little early."
"By two minutes." Evan doesn't hang up. "You sound like you're outside?"
"Yeah. Lucy dragged me to a bar. I'd rather be home, honestly. And now I'm stuck here since I probably won't be able to get a ride." Tommy sighs and leans against a wall. "You?"
"I'm at home. Spent the day making Baked Alaska."
Tommy's eyes widen. "Baked Alaska? That's really difficult!"
"Had plenty of time to practice." Evan hums.
Evan seems to be telling Tommy something. He's not really getting the message, however. What is he missing?
Besides Evan. He misses Evan.
From the different bars, Tommy hears the loud chants doing the countdown. He shakes his head when one of the bouncers point at the entrance, but listens to the raucous shouts. When they get to "...ONE!" he says into the phone, "Happy New Year, Evan. For real."
On the other end of the line, Evan laughs. Then he says, "I can pick you up if you don't wanna join the parties? We could, I don't know, hang out. Eat the Baked Alaska I made." Hesitantly, he adds, "As friends. Just as friends, if that's what you want."
Tommy glances at the bar and the people spilling out to dance and sing out on the streets. Then he says, too quickly, "Sure. I'm outside Beaches. Will send you my exact location in a moment."
Is that a sigh of relief on the other end? Tommy can't be sure. He finds himself feeling nervous, like he's being asked out on a date.
"See ya," Evan says quickly.
"See you."
#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy#tevan#pq writes#they end up eating the baked alaska together#and then kissing#and making out#and finally they admit that they were both morons and they should fuck about it
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Older! Rockstar! Eddie Munson x Rockstar! Reader, what if they have to do like a tour together, and they realize that they hate each other, like hate to share the stage, hate to spend time together, until the two of them end up hooking up after some drinks at some bar, then, they find each other being like all nervous with each other, because of what happened and bc they're catching feelings, but they hate each other, right? (You can write a tiny bit of angst for the "hate" part, smut and fluff!)
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun with this 🫶🏻 thank you for requesting
We got angst, we got smut and we got fluff
Rockstar love
Y/N was excited as hell when her manager, Samantha, told her she had a summer tour lined up. Y/N was a small independent artist and she couldn't headline a tour on her own, she was grateful for the opportunity to be an opener for one of the biggest artists in the industry, Eddie Munson.
She loved his music and she loved his style. Their writing dynamic was very similar and their music blended well. Even Eddie's manager couldn't pick a better person to open for him.
So Y/N was all packed up and ready for the summer of her life, on tour with someone that she admired. She couldn't possibly think of one bad thing to change her mind.
Well, that was until she met Eddie.
~
"Hi! I'm Y/N, I'm so ex-" Her introduction was cut off when Eddie's painted nails waved in her face.
"I know, baby. You are so excited to finally meet me, and you're my biggest fan. But I'm in a rush, so why don't you just give me your number and I'll call you tonight?" His smirk was so confident and smug. She couldn't believe he was this conceited.
She scoffed and crossed her arms. "Is that how you talk to women?"
Eddie blinked at her aggressive tone but shook it off. "Women? Nah, that's how I talk to my girl of the night. So interested or not? Like I said I'm in a rush for a meeting." He checked his watch, knowing he was meant to meet whoever his opener was going to be for his tour.
"Not. Nice to meet you, asshole." She gagged and walked off.
This summer started a whole lot worse than she thought.
~
"Eddie! Glad you made it!" Samantha said with a big smile, no idea Y/N already had a run-in with the man of the hour.
"I'd like you to meet Y/N, she'll be your opener for the tour!" Eddie's eyes switched over to the girl that sat at the table. He choked a little on his spit when he realized it was the girl from outside the building.
"Oh shit, you're my opener?" Eddie asked. He did not make a good first impression.
"I know, baby. You are so excited to finally meet me, but I'm in a rush so can we sign the contract and get a move on?" Y/N said, his words leaving her tongue in a sassy way that Eddie couldn't help but like and hate.
Eddie sent a glare her way but signed the papers.
After the meeting, Y/N was quick to leave. Eddie ran out after her, an apology on his tongue.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry for how I talked to you. Can I make it up to you? Maybe dinner?" Eddie asked, a hopeful smile on his face.
Y/N debated for a while but figured making amends might be better for the summer ahead.
"Dinner is good."
~
Y/N applied the final touch of her lipstick before she walked out of the small hotel room. Eddie's room across from her. She knocked on the door, waited, and waited.
She huffed when she checked the time and realized she'd been outside his door for five minutes. She gave up and went back into her room, figuring she'd just wait there until he came to her.
But he never did. After two hours, she heard his voice slurring in the hallway as he tried to open his door. She looked out the peephole and saw his arm wrapped around another girl.
She gave up on him immediately.
~~~
Half the summer was sour, they hated to be in the same room with each other. She knew she had a right to be pissed, but Eddie didn't. He hated her because she hated him. He never bothered to apologize or admit he was a selfish asshole. And that's all she wanted.
"Can you stop moving off your X? It's there for a reason!" Y/N snapped, she groaned as they had to stop rehearsal, yet again.
"I'm a rockstar! I'm meant to move around!" Eddie argued. He wasn't used to sharing the stage and he hated it.
"I'm one too! And in case you haven't noticed, I'm doing perfectly fine on my X!"
"You want a fucking gold star for being boring? Difference between an opener and the main show" Eddie snapped, Y/N didn't fight back. She just growled and began the song again.
~
"Y/N, THAT WAS SO GOOD!" Samantha cheered as Y/N walked off the stage. The first night of your was in the books and Y/N loved the way she felt on the stage. The crowd seemed to like her and she felt like she got them pumped for Eddie's set.
Even though she hated him, she looked his way for approval. After all, she was his opener and cared what he thought about his tour.
"Why the hell are you looking at me?" He asked, his guitar strapped to his body as he waited for his cue.
"I don't know. Just maybe thought you'd like to share your thoughts?" She said, a little shy that she had to admit she wanted to know.
Eddie was taken aback by the nervousness in her eyes, for once she looked vulnerable and not ready to shoot fire. But he couldn't give in, the hatred between them was too powerful and he refused to give in first when she chose to be a bitch towards him.
"I've seen better, you're nothing special." He shrugged and jumped on the stage as his cue was hit. The screams of the arena sounded muted as his words rang in her ears.
She marched off into her dressing room. She didn't bother to watch his set. Unlike him, she can admit when someone has talent and he doesn't deserve her compliments. Instead, she focused on the anger she felt and put it into a song. If he wanted special, she'd show him special.
~
Within a week, she finished the song and began performing it. It was full of anger and the crowd loved it. The music was loud and it shook the whole place.
Eddie knew the song was about him. She stood there, banging on her guitar as she swore about the big-headed men in her life. He was pissed, it was his tour and here she was bad-mouthing him to his fans. The fans didn't know it was about him, they just related it to a man in their life. But still, he didn't take the disrespect lightly.
And she didn't care. Ever since that first show on tour, she never asked for his thoughts again. She'd get off stage, place down her guitar, and walk straight to the dressing room.
It bothered Eddie that she never sat to watch his set, but he refused to let her know that he cared.
~~~
About a month and a half into the tour, they barely spoke. And if they did, it was to tear each other apart.
But when Y/N's new song was officially released and hit the radio, the crew wanted to go out to celebrate. And to her shock, Eddie showed up.
"I'd like to make a toast!" Y/N slurred, already a few shots in and the alcohol was taking over her body. The table raised a glass, and Eddie rolled his eyes. He might have been a little irritated by all the success she earned from a song that was about him.
"...and thanks to Eddie, the man who inspired the song. Thanks for being an asshole and treating me like shit. Cheers!"
Eddie bit his tongue as he took the shot in front of him, he didn't want to make a scene in a public place. He knew better than that. There would be cameras everywhere.
As the night went on, the more drunk she and Eddie became. The crew called it a night and left. Bad move to leave them alone.
"You know that I can't fucking stand you sometimes." Eddie hissed, trying to ignore the way her lips were wet and glossy from all the drinks she had.
"Yeah, I got the message." She laughed sarcastically. She hated how he got hot and had to throw his hair in a bun. With stupid curls hanging down to frame his perfect face.
"Why did you write the song? Just knew making money off me would be a career move?" He argued, the venom on his tongue was strong and she knew a fight was brewing.
"Oh fuck off. I'm going to the bathroom." She said as she rolled her eyes and walked off.
But Eddie was too mad to let it go. He followed her into the bathroom, locking the door behind them.
"Are you crazy!? This is a bathroom!"
"Answer my fucking question!"
"Yes, Eddie. It was a career move! You were a complete dick the second I met you and looked down on me all because I was an opener! I was grateful for the opportunity and now I realize, you are a selfish prick who only cares to get his dick wet." Her words were knives and perfectly sliced into Eddie's skin. Her eyes are dark as she gets in his face. Every word against his lips as he puffed and huffed.
The fire in his body with all the anger he felt. She stood tall and confident. Right in his face with no care in the world. Her lip snarled and her eyebrows scrunched.
"Jealous or something baby?" He smirked, he noticed the flicker of lust in her eyes before she remained unbothered.
"Of what?" She sneered
"The girl I took to my hotel room instead of you." His smirk was a target and she wanted to smack it off his face. He knew she was waiting and watching. And he had the nerve to never once apologize.
"Not. I like to end my nights with an orgasm." She said with a bitter smile, her hand reached behind him to grab the door but the growl that left his lips made her stop.
She looked up into his eyes and knew she struck a nerve. And she couldn't help but feel how wet her underwear became.
Before she could say another word, insult, or make a noise, his hot mouth was on hers. His hands dived into her hair as he took over her body. His tongue was in her mouth before she could blink. And she hated how easily she moaned.
Her body was against the sink as his hands scrammed to take off her jeans. He pulled away to unbuckle his belt and yank down his jeans, she took a second to catch her breath and remove her shirt. Her head against the mirror as his mouth attached to her chest, his teeth biting down on the flesh as she whined out.
She wasn't thinking, and she knew that. But his mouth felt so good and her cunt ached.
"Is that what this has always been about? Jealous I wasn't fucking your cute cunt?" Eddie teased, and he pulled away his mouth, which allowed her to understand his words.
"No, it's not. You were a dick the second I met you, and discredit me because I'm younger and newer to the industry. Don't flatter yourself." She scoffed. He was so big-headed and she couldn't believe he still didn't understand where he went wrong. "plus I wouldn't care about the girl if I wasn't waiting for you for dinner." She barked out. The hatred and anger filled her body again. Almost like it reminded her why she shouldn't be doing this. She pushed him back and reached for her shirt.
"Oh come on! Don't take it so personally. I forgot we had plans, okay?" He tried to defend but she was already throwing on her shirt.
"Forgot? Or decided that getting a quick fuck meant more?" Maybe in a way, she was hurt by the fact he completely shoved her off for someone else. She liked Eddie, and she always found him attractive and it sucked to meet him and see he was nothing like she thought.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO ADMIT THAT? Would that even make it better?" He laughed out, he couldn't believe it was even a big deal. "if I sat here and told you straight to your face that I wanted some wet pussy wrapped around me instead of sitting at a dinner with you, that make it BETTER? Huh?"
She shouldn't care, she really shouldn't. They weren't even friends and she had no reason to feel the burning jealousy in her stomach that someone got to spend the night with him when it was supposed to be her. She hated that no matter how much he made her hate him, she still felt something pulling her towards him.
She didn't have words, and she wasn't sure how to respond.
All she wanted was an apology
"Because that pussy was the best I've ever had and I don't regret it." He seethed out, and that struck a nerve in her. Apart from the jealousy and stupid high school games, he felt she wasn't worth apologizing to. She realized she'd never get that apology.
This time, she did go to smack the smirk off his face. Her right hand was high in the air as she aimed for his cheek, but his hand caught her. A deadly look in his eyes. They were breathing hard into each other's faces. She felt her cunt pulse, and he felt his cock pulse in his boxers, his jeans still on the floor.
She whimpered as he took control, again. He kept his grip on her arm, turning her around and pressing his cock against her ass. He held her arm behind her back, she was trapped between him and the sink.
No words were said, both relieving their aches as his free hand ripped off her underwear. The sound made her clench, then his fingers were inside of her. She moaned as he didn't care to be soft or gentle. Three fingers deep inside her cunt as his cock pressed against her ass. She moaned out and her head was thrown back into his shoulder.
His hand let her arm free, and she moved it to grip the sink, his fingers pumping inside of her. He was skilled, experienced, and knew exactly how to hit the right spots. Her head was fuzzy as she got lost in the feeling. With his free hand, he grabbed her chin and turned her head towards him. Her eyes closed in bliss as his lips touched hers.
His fingers moved faster inside of her as his lips tasted her. He felt the moan in the back of his throat as she clenched around him. His stomach flipped when her warm tongue worked inside of his mouth. He growled as her tongue dominated his.
The aching in his boxers became too much, he removed his fingers, smirking as she whined at the lost touch. But he was quick to fill her again, but this time with his pulsing cock. She moaned as she fucked into her. Nothing about it was romantic. It was heavy breaths, growls, moans, and the sound of their skin smacking. Her nails dug into the sink as he destroyed her. His mouth was on hers again as he moved his hips against her, loving the way she clenched around him. Her knees were weak when his fingers began to rub her clit.
She couldn't focus on anything except that burning feeling in her stomach and the build-up of her orgasm.
"Eddie." She squeaked, her hands moved up her body and reached behind her, feeling him underneath her fingertips.
"Shh, I know, baby. Let it go. I got you. Cum for me, gorgeous. Be right here." He said softly, she didn't think she'd ever heard him sound so sweet. She nodded as she gasped, letting herself go. She shook on his cock as she came. The relief she felt from every aching part of her body vanished.
She hissed as he slipped out of her, but she was fast to wrap her hand around him. Jerking him off as she looked in the mirror ahead. His forehead was against her shoulder as he breathed hard. His hands gripped her hips and he moved his hips to her rhythm.
"Watch yourself." She said, her tone demanding. He looked up, his blown-out lustful eyes took in their reflection. The sight of her hand wrapped around his red cock made his thighs shake.
He kept his eyes on her reflection as he painted the sink and her hand with his cum. He panted hard as she needed him off through it.
~
She washed off her hands and got dressed. Awkwardly handing Eddie his clothes.
He silently grabbed the jeans from her hands and put them on. He watched as she dressed herself.
"I'm, um, I'm sorry for the way I treated you and for ditching you," Eddie whispered, not to her but to the floor.
"Thanks, Eddie." She said, and she meant it. She knew that's all she would get. She gave him a small smile and walked out.
Where the hell do they stand now?
~~~
After that event, things between them got blurry. They found themselves feeling something different. Almost like they got out every bit of anger inside of them. Like the anger was just the first layer. And now other feelings were being revealed.
Y/N couldn't help but notice she was putting more work into her appearance. More makeup touches and asking for more sexier clothes for when she performs. She almost felt like she wanted Eddie's eyes on her all the time. Because she couldn't help but have her eyes on him.
Eddie couldn't help but stare whenever she was near. It was like his eyes automatically found her in the room and he couldn't get enough. He noticed things about her that he didn't see at first. He always found her attractive, but now it was deeper than that. He found a new favorite thing about her every day. He started watching more of her performances and found the compliments slipping off his tongue.
The air changed between them. Now they were nervous and didn't know what to say. They didn't talk about what happened but both wished that the other still thought about it.
They tried to ignore how nervous they were and how awkward it made things. Y/N felt like they both needed to talk about what happened to either go back to normal or discuss what was next for them because this situation was too weird.
It was nearly midnight when they made it back to the hotel after their show, Eddie went to head into his room when Y/N spoke up.
"Do you think we could talk?" She asked, the shakiness in her voice made it clear she was nervous.
"Uh sure," Eddie said, his nerves kicked in as he unlocked the door.
She followed behind and took a seat on the bed. He removed his shoes and then took the spot next to her. His shoulder against hers as he waited for her to speak.
"About the thing that happened," she started, already hating the conversation. Eddie coughed awkwardly as he stared at his hands. "I'm just going to be fully honest and I can leave right after. But, it hasn't left my head. I know it was full of hatred and anger. And it probably didn't mean anything and I didn't think it would. But it almost feels like I let out all that anger and now I'm left with other feelings." She admitted, slowly looking towards him to read his expression.
"What kind of other feelings?" He asked, he turned his head to look at her. He hoped she meant the same feelings he'd been feeling. The feeling of wanting each other again. And maybe wanting each other always.
"Feelings like that I like you and my stomach hurts when I think about all the girls in the crowd that want to go home with you." She admitted, looking down at her own hands as she blushed.
She was surprised when Eddie reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. He reached over and used his pointer finger to tilt up her chin. Her eyes looked into his as she anxiously waited for him to speak.
"I tend to be a dick so girls want anything to do with me after sex. But, I'm fucking grateful to hear you still like my dumbass." He joked, a smile on his face as she laughed. "Even though we had sex out of anger, there was something so real there and it hasn't left my mind. The way you pulled so much emotion out of me. I've never had someone do that. I like you too, and I'd like a chance to take you on a date and treat you the way you always should have been treated."
She felt her heart skip at his words, and a feeling of excitement bubbled in her stomach.
"I'd like that." She said as she tried to bite back her smile.
"Perfect, let's go right now." He said he stood up with their hands still laced.
"What? Right now! It's midnight!" She argued, her eyes looking to the clock.
"Don't care. I'm not wasting a second to take you out. The world is asleep, let's go have our fun before it wakes up ." He said with a wink, smiling as she stood up and together they ran out of his room like idiots.
Maybe the summer was finally looking up.
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gorgeous - lhs
"you should take it as a compliment that i'm talking to everyone here but you / and you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room" - gorgeous by taylor swift
series masterlist - part one - part two - part three
prompt 45 of the 100 kisses list, "we shouldn't do this" but they do so anyway
pairing. best friend's brother!heeseung x fem!reader synopsis. Heeseung comes back from his first year of university a new man - forget nervous, fidgety, dorky Heeseung and say hello to confident, teasing, flirty Heeseung. This change of attitude doesn't help your longstanding crush on your best friend's brother, and neither does the rising tension between the two of you - a tension that is bound to explode. genre. f2l, did i mention this was a best friend's brother au?, only fluff in this part but more to come, perhaps suggestive due to tension between reader and hee and makeout session lol word count. 8.1k (yes an asahicore fic under 10k thank u very much) a/n. hi loves i'm super happy to be posting this bc its the very first fic out of the 100 kisses event and its a project im really excited about !!! i know i said like 2 days ago it'd take me a while to write this but i got super motivated over the weekend and it turned out shorter than i thought and bestie @k-ingzo zo did a super amazing job at beta reading this so i was able to post it really quickly !! anyways hope you enjoy this, pls lmk,, and hope u look forward to the rest of the series as well !! ok bye
Nine years ago
“Y/N, honey, come meet your new friends!”
You rushed down the stairs at your mom’s call - at eight, you were always excited by the idea of new friends. She’d also called Naeun down, but lately, your sister had been acting like doing anything your parents asked her would cost her her life.
There in your living room were four unfamiliar faces, but your parents were smiling warmly, so you weren’t too nervous. Instinctively, you found your mother’s side and she rested her hand on your head, bending down to talk to you.
“Y/N, these are the Lees, they’ve just moved to the neighborhood.”
“Hi,” you greeted shyly, and were met with four hi’s in return.
“Heeseung and Seeun here started going to the same school as you,” she informs, nodding her head towards the young boy and girl. Now that she said it, the boy looked really familiar. You thought you recognized him from school that day - his glasses were definitely memorable. “And Seeun is the exact same age as you!” Your face lit up at that, and her expression mirrored yours as her lips curled into a smile. “Why don’t you show her your room?”
“Sure! Come on,” you said, holding out your hand for Seeun to take. She looked back at her parents who were nodding vigorously at her to follow you. You just played for half-an-hour, and Heeseung joined you quickly, saying he was bored with the adults downstairs. He didn’t talk much, instead found some of your toys to play with in his own corner.
When the Lees left, you were thinking two things: one, you couldn’t wait to tell Chaeyeong about Seeun, and two, that boy with the big glasses was really, really cute.
-
Now
“Seeun, why the hell didn’t you tell us that your brother is a mega-hottie now?!”
This is what your friend Chaeyeong whisper-screams in lieu of a greeting as she barges in Seeun’s room, plopping down on her bed like it was her own. It might as well have been, considering how long the three of you had known each other.
“If you ever refer to my brother as a mega-hottie again, I’m terminating this friendship,” Seeun replies, not bothering to look up from the bead bracelet she was currently making.
“Oh please, just because you’re his sister doesn’t mean you haven’t noticed how attractive he’s gotten,” Chaeyeong insists, but it just makes Seeun scrunch her nose in disgust.
“Chaeyeong, please stop making it so obvious you’re an only child,” Seeun sighs. You let out a giggle at your friends’ conversation as you search for another color that could go well with the pink beads you’d chosen for your own bracelet.
Stealthily, Chaeyeong leaves her spot on the bed and sneaks up to you. “Y/N!” she exclaims suddenly, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a sneak-attack hug that makes you yelp. It makes you drop your half-finished bracelet, the beads falling all over the carpeted floor around you. You look up at Chaeyeong with a pout, but she just smiles at you and starts picking up the beads, gathering the tiny pink jewels in the palm of her hand.
“Y/N, you’re with me on this one, aren’t you?”
You ignore Seeun’s side-eye and give in to Chaeyeong’s encouraging expression. “I guess he does look very…” you pause to carefully consider your word choice. “Different,” you settle on.
“Different? That’s it? Y/N, you should really consider getting some glasses, seeing how you’re so blind to hot boys.” Cue a loud groan, Seeun’s courtesy. You just giggle again, slightly shaking your head at Chaeyeong’s antics. She rolled her eyes, disappointed that you didn’t back her up, but she drops the subject and switches to Seeun’s upcoming birthday party. Something great about being generally quiet? People don’t question it when you don’t partake much in a conversation. You listen and laugh as your friends bicker, but your mind is on something else.
Or rather, it’s on someone else.
Because Chaeyeong is absolutely right - Seeun’s brother has glowed up so much during his time away at university that you had a double-take when he opened the door for you earlier.
The sentence this is so unfair plays over and over in your head.
You’d heard of the freshman fifteen, of college first-years being so stressed over grades and having so little time that their diet consisted of instant ramen, quick cafeteria lunches, and an ungodly amount of coffee. And alcohol, on Friday nights, of course. After seeing how freshman year treated your older sister, you were dreading going to college, imagining it to be the complete opposite of what TV and movies had shown you.
So how the hell had Lee Heeseung gone from high school loser to campus hearthrob in the span of a mere nine months? (After some thinking, you realized that, well, if a woman can create a whole human being in nine months, maybe a regular guy can undergo great physical and mental change in that time, too.)
In September, when you’d last seen him, he wore the same glasses he had for all of high school - those slightly crooked ones that made his eyes look even bigger than they already were. He always had to push them back up his nose but he never bothered to get them fixed, even though all they needed was for the arms to be tightened. You remember his tic-like habit of readjusting his glasses, a habit so strong that he did it even when he wasn’t wearing them. Maybe they bothered him so much that he decided to get rid of them once and for all, you guess.
Indeed, when he greeted you at his front door earlier (even after years of knowing Seeun and her family and no matter how much they reassure you that it’s okay, you’re unable to come in without knocking first, like Chaeyeong does), he wasn’t wearing his thick lenses you’d grown fond of. His eyes didn’t look unfocused like they usually would without glasses, so you assumed he’d switched to contact lenses - you knew it wasn’t Lasik surgery, because Seeun was always complaining that her parents wouldn’t pay for her or her brother to receive it.
But it wasn’t just the glasses, of course not. There was an ease and confidence about him that he didn’t have before - no awkward giggles, no darting eyes, no weirdly positioned limbs. He held the door open for you and kept his eyes on you as you walked in, saying it was nice to see you again and asking if you were happy to be done with high school. You already weren’t expecting Heeseung to open the door in Seeun’s stead, so him actually looking at you while he spoke instead of mumbling a few words in your general direction and scratching the back of his neck rendered you completely flustered, cheeks heating up embarrassingly quickly.
His hair was different: it used to sit there atop Heeseung’s head, unsure what to do with itself, but now it was purposefully cut and slightly pushed back. When he turned his head, you saw something shiny dangling from his left ear.
Heeseung had a piercing. Shy, nervous, fidgety electronics club president Heeseung had a goddamn piercing, and it looked amazing.
And then he laughed. He actually had the audacity to laugh, and then ruffle your hair. You could’ve died right then and there. “You’re still just as cute as before,” he mused, beaming down at you. Then he walked away towards the living room, saying Seeun was in her room upstairs. As if nothing happened. As if you weren’t on the verge of combusting, your saving grace being your friend’s voice calling out your name. You ran up the stairs, wanting to get as far away from Heeseung and his smile and his voice and his touch as possible. You busied yourself with the pearls and the small bracelet-making station Seeun had organized, trying not to think about the vein that ran down his forearm or about how his shoulders looked wider than before. And you’d managed to do that, until Chaeyeong brought him up.
It wasn’t unfair because he’d grown mysteriously hot - it was unfair because to you, Heeseung had always been the cutest boy around, but now other people had surely noticed too, Chaeyeong amongst them. Now, you were just one of the many girls that had a crush on Heeseung, even if yours dated back to the first time you’d met him when the Lees moved into the neighborhood.
Their parents had been delighted that two girls of their daughter’s age - eight, to be precise - lived on their street. You were delighted that the cute boy you’d seen at school that day was her big brother, just one year older. Chaeyeong and you gladly welcomed Seeun into your friendship and you had each other’s back through the awkward phases of your early teenage years and the stressful times as high school seniors getting ready for college. You shared everything - clothes, jewelry, homework answers, gossip, tears, laughter. Secrets.
You liked to think there wasn’t a thing you didn’t know about them, but you couldn’t say the opposite was true - there was a secret you had to keep from them. A secret that grew bigger and bigger as time passed, but that you needed to keep locked in.
You had the biggest crush known to mankind on your best friend’s brother. It was either keep quiet or tell both of your friends; you trusted Chaeyeong, but you didn’t want her to carry that burden. You had no idea what Seeun’s reaction would be if you admitted you liked her brother, but you didn’t want to risk it. Every best friend’s brother (or brother’s best friend) romance you’d read had told you that the former was always against and deeply disgusted by the idea of their friend dating the latter. The last thing you wanted to do was make things weird, so you said nothing and suffered in silence, as one does. And so, for years, Heeseung was your little secret.
But not anymore, apparently. And it felt unfair. You didn’t have much of a chance to begin with, but now, getting with Heeseung was inimaginable. You’d just have to continue pining from far away, just as you’d gotten used to.
-
Four years ago
Your heart pounded as you made your way to the bus stop, steps heavy and head full of thoughts. Even though your older sister told you there’s nothing to worry about, you couldn’t help it. You were used to walking to school, not taking the bus. After three years of seeing the same people roaming the hallways, it was nerve-wracking to arrive at a place where most faces would be completely unfamiliar. You didn’t know what your teachers would be like, you were scared your classes would be a hundred times harder than before, you heard the cafeteria food was really bad. In short, you were absolutely dreading high school. And today was your first day.
The only thing that calmed you down was knowing that in a few minutes, you’d be with Seeun and Chaeyeong, and just seeing them would make you feel instantly better. You were meeting at the bus stop.
But when you reached it, neither of your friends were there. You shouldn’t have been surprised, since you’d come ten minutes early, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. That is, until you recognized someone else.
“Heeseung?” you called out before you could stop yourself. The boy snapped his head in your direction, and his eyes widened at the sight of you. Simple things like that made your heart burst with adoration for him.
“Oh, h-hi, Y/N.” He smiled the shy smile you loved so much and looked back at his feet, holding on tightly to the straps of his backpack. You stood next to him, close enough to have a conversation if he wanted to but not so close that it’d be weird.
Heeseung was the only person you felt awkward around. Even though you were on the quieter side and strangers weren’t your favorite people per se, being around people you didn’t know well wasn’t your definition of torture like it seemed to be for Heeseung and other kids from your school. But Heeseung’s awkwardness was contagious, and your crush on him didn’t help your ease of mind - so you imitated his posture, swaying back and forth on your feet as you held onto your backpack straps just to have something to hold onto. You smiled at the ground, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by looking at him, but that meant you missed the growing blush on his cheeks.
“So,” he started, “nervous?” He glanced quickly, just once, at you. You were so surprised at his breaking the silence, used to a quiet Heeseung, that you forgot to answer, simply staring at him. His panicked expression and mumblings were what jolted you out of your daze. “I-I mean, you know, cause it’s your first day and everything, and I was really nervous last year- I am today, too, actually- so I thought maybe, you know, you’re nervous too, but maybe you’re not, I don’t-”
He said all of this so quickly, you started laughing, slightly bending over. He let out a chuckle too, but as you continued laughing, a pout started to form on his lips. “What’s so funny…” you heard him grumble as he kicked a non-existent pebble.
“Sorry,” you said, regaining your breath. “I’m sorry, Heeseung.” The sound of his name made him glance at you again. You wished you could kiss the pout off his lips. “I was nervous, actually. But I feel better now.”
A quick smile appeared on his lips, but he willed it away. “I’m glad my embarrassment made you feel better,” he sighed.
You gently kicked his shoe with yours to make him look at you. “No, it’s because you made me laugh. I needed it. Thanks,” you corrected with a smile. Heeseung may have made you feel awkward, but the easiness with which he always got flustered made you love to tease him slightly.
His smile widened as he looked away once more, the blush having spread to his whole face by then. “Whatever,” he murmured. There was no time to say anything else because Seeun called out your name, practically skipping towards you.
She gave you an excited hug as a greeting before turning towards her brother with a glare, punching him hard on the bicep, making him wince in pain and reach his hand to cover his arm where she hit him. “Thanks for waiting for me, loser.”
“You were gonna make us late!” he whined, rubbing his arm.
“Yeah, ‘cause I obviously missed the bus,” she tutted.
You watched the siblings with an amused smile, used to the exact same kind of banter at home. Your sister, who was in her last year of high school, had decided not to drive you for some reason only an older sister could make up and pretend was reasonable. Your parents had tried to convince her, but you didn’t mind taking the bus with your friends, so they didn’t push it, just glad they could somehow keep the both of you happy.
Heeseung didn’t say anything in return. Your eyes met for a moment, and his frown relaxed into a smile when he caught your expression. It lasted a second but it was enough to make your stomach twist. Seeun, oblivious, grabbed your arm and started telling you about all the things she was excited about for today. You were worried Chaeyeong wasn’t going to make it, but her footsteps were loud as she ran, reaching you just as the bus stopped in front of you. Heeseung took what you soon found out was his usual spot at the front of the bus while your friends dragged you towards the back of it. You tried not to let your thoughts drift towards the boy with the messy black hair and crooked glasses, but his shy smile replayed in your mind all day. For a year, you’d gotten used to not going to the same school as him - you didn’t know how you’d survive seeing him at least five days a week once again.
-
Now
You were really determined to not let Heeseung’s newfound confidence sway you, physically shaking your head every time a thought of him popped in your head (useless) and racking your brain for reasons you shouldn’t like him (not many of those). There was just one teeny, tiny problem.
He was making it impossible to pine for him at a distance.
It seemed like everywhere you went, he was there. Maybe that was due to the fact that your most frequently visited place was literally his house, but still. It was frustrating. You didn’t need to be met with his stupid smile whenever he opened the door for you, you didn’t need to catch him cutely napping - how was that even possible?! - in the living room, a random sitcom still playing on the TV, you didn’t need to hear his laughter when his friends were over, and you definitely did not need to see him half-naked as he came out of the bathroom, hair wet from the shower and sticking to his forehead, towel wrapped low around his hips and his abs fully on display. Because of course, you had to be in the hallway, heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water, at the exact same time as him.
You almost start to resent the fact that Seeun had the comfiest bedroom out of the three of you, as well as the most snack-filled house, which was why you had decided years ago to hang out there the most. Especially during school breaks, you were there almost every day, so you were bound to see Heeseung a lot. But for some reason, that didn’t seem to be enough, and over the course of June, you also ran into him while shoe-shopping with your mom, then another time as you entered the public library just when he left it, and another when your friends and his had decided to get ice cream at the same time. It was like you couldn’t escape him.
The worst part? Every time he saw you, while you simultaneously wanted to run away from him and into his arms, his damnedly handsome face broke into a stupidly beautiful smile that looked far too genuine for your heart. “Y/N! Funny seeing you here!”
No, Heeseung, not funny.
You didn’t want to be that girl whose brain cells stopped working whenever she encountered an attractive male specimen, but that was apparently who you were meant to be, because all words left you when you saw Heeseung. Although you’d been somewhat flustered around him in the past, he was always much more so than you, which reassured you and gave you enough confidence to actually talk to him. But now that he had realized how handsome he was and was clearly using that newfound knowledge against you (or so you thought), you were unable to string a coherent sentence when his shiny eyes bore into yours.
You think he might’ve sensed your awkwardness, because he never lingered, never made useless small talk, just asked about your favorite ice cream flavor or the book he’d checked out, patted your head, then was on his way.
There were so many butterflies in your stomach, you were scared it might fly away.
One afternoon in the middle of July, you and your friends come back from the city pool completely exhausted after playing around for hours in the water. All bundled up and close together, you try to nap on Seeun’s bed. Keyword try, because even though your friends’ soft snores quickly start to fill the silence of the room, you can’t seem to fall asleep, no matter how heavy your eyes feel.
Quietly, you get out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen, hoping a cold glass of water will help sleep come to you like it usually does. You shouldn’t be surprised to see Heeseung in the dining room/kitchen area, busy with a puzzle, the pieces of which he’s spread out all over the table, but your heart still does a flip. He must be really engrossed in it, because he doesn’t notice your presence in the room until you fill a glass with ice, the sudden sound making his head snap up at you. You hate that his face breaks into a grin as soon as he sees you.
“Oh, hey, Y/N! What are you doing?”
“Just getting some water,” you explain, raising your glass with a small smile. Your whole body tells you to run away, back to Seeun’s bedroom, but something in your gut tells you to stay, to get closer to Heeseung. So you do. “What about you?” you ask, slowly making your way towards the table and peering at the puzzle in progress.
“Just whipping up some brownies,” he retorts with a devilish smirk, big eyes looking up at you.
You fight back a smile in vain. “Shut up,” you mumble, but take a seat next to him anyway. He seems slightly taken aback by the sudden proximity, and you are too, but you keep your gaze focused on the puzzle in front of you so that you can’t think too much about how close you’re sitting, and how your knees could touch if you angled them just so.
For a small while you sit in silence, watching as he puts pieces together and even finding a couple of your own. It’s a one-thousand piece jigsaw that he’s clearly only just started, but Heeseung doesn’t seem fazed by that. You like seeing how his eyebrows slightly furrow when he’s searching for a particular piece, and the pleased smirk that graces his lips when he finds it. You break the silence after a few minutes.
“So you still like puzzles, then?” you ask, voice low. You’ve always been told you speak quietly - even too quietly sometimes, but you can’t always help it. Especially in situations like this, when it’s silent around you anyways, you don’t see the point of raising your voice. When Heeseung replies, he speaks at the same volume as you, and there’s something comforting about it, about speaking quietly in such a spacious and sunlit room - the words you share are for you two, and you two only.
“Yep, ever since that day.” He glances quickly at you and smiles at the piece in his hand, and it’s like getting a glimpse of the Heeseung you had known all those years. Your heart warms at the sight.
“That day?”
This makes him look properly at you, his eyes darting back and forth between yours as if searching for something there. Your heart is now on fire. “Don’t you remember?”
You tilt your head in response and he turns his attention back to the puzzle. “It was at this table, too. I think your grandparents- your grandma, I think? Anyway, someone had gotten you a puzzle for your birthday.”
You ‘ah’ in realization. “Of course!”
Two years ago
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this, it’s so complicated,” Seeun pouted apologetically, looking at you sadly. “We’ve been here like an hour and we’ve barely gotten anywhere.”
Chaeyeong, head on the table, groaned in agreement. You followed your friend’s gaze to the puzzle in front of you - she was right, you hadn’t made much progress. But you liked it. The picture was pretty and you’d like to see it completed, but more than that, you liked finding the right piece, figuring out strategies.
You hummed, mirroring Seeun’s pout. Chaeyeong snapped her head back up to look at you. You’d think she hadn’t slept in days, but that was just bored Chaeyeong. You loved your friend and her over-dramatic antics. “Can we just take a break?” she asked, tone like you’d kidnapped and forced her to do this.
“You guys go ahead.” You smiled. “I like it, I can just continue this for a while and you guys do whatever you want.” The three of you spent so much time together that you didn’t need to be doing an activity together to be happy - being in each other’s general vicinity was enough to be considered a hang-out.
“You sure?” Seeun asked.
“Yeah, ‘course.” You chuckled at the obvious relief on your friend’s faces. “Just don’t watch the next Extraordinary You episode without me, okay?”
They both gasped and clutched their hearts like you’d accused them of murder. “How could you even think that, Y/N?!” Chaeyeong exclaimed.
“We would never!” Seeun added.
You shook your head at your friends’ antics, laughing as you waved them off. “Just go, already.”
“Yes, ma’am!” And with that, they were off, running up the stairs to Seeun’s bedroom.
You were only on your own for around ten minutes - the front door opened and closed, and the quiet shuffle of shoes being taken off and replaced with slippers let you know Heeseung had just come home. Seeun always made a show of being exhausted after school, groaning as she threw her backpack to the ground, while Mr and Mrs Lee always announced their arrival with a sometimes cheery, sometimes tired ‘I’m home!’. But Heeseung, quiet as always, simply set his backpack next to the stairs, slipped into his slippers and made his way to the kitchen, fond of a quick snack after school. Even Chaeyeong made herself more known when she entered the Lee household.
Every day except for Fridays, he came home two hours later than his sister because of either magic or electronics club (yes, magic club. It was cute, okay?!). You always looked forward to the monthly meeting of the book club you were in, partly because it meant you could take the bus back with Heeseung afterwards. Even if the ride was usually mainly silent, just sitting next to him was enough for your heart to do all sorts of tricks worthy of an Olympic gymnast.
“Oh, hey, Y/N,” he greeted softly, probably surprised at seeing you alone at the dinner table.
“Hi, Heeseung. How was the electronics club?” You wanted to make conversation, but you winced immediately at your words - was it normal for you to know what club he had on what days?
But Heeseung seemed to pay it no mind, just smiling shyly, a blush already creeping on his cheeks. “It was nice, thanks.” He opened the fridge, taking out a carton of milk. “Do you want a glass?” When you didn’t respond immediately, he was quick to add, “Of milk? O-or orange juice? Or I can make some tea, if you want-”
His hands were already busy with preparing whatever drink he thought you might want. You held back a chuckle and smiled as you answered, “Milk is fine, thanks.”
His blush spread all the way down his neck and you turned your attention back to the puzzle so he wouldn’t see your grin. “Right, milk. Milk,” he stammered, then got two glasses out of the cupboard.
You loved moments like these with Heeseung - flustered, light-hearted, slightly awkward, moments that made you want to giggle out of nerves and delight. Basically every moment with him was like this, so it’d be more accurate to say you loved every moment with him.
“I didn’t know you liked puzzles,” he said, an upward tilt to his voice, as he set your glass next to you and took a seat across from you. He peered down at the pieces spread out in front of you, fixed his glasses on his nose, and took a big gulp of milk.
“I didn’t either,” you said with a chuckle, and stammered out an explanation when he looked up at you questioningly. “My, um, my grandma gave this to me for my birthday last month. She’s got a lot of grandkids, you know, and I think she might’ve mixed up my other cousin who likes puzzles and me…” Heeseung nods slowly, the corners of his lips tugging up in amusement. “But I don’t mind it,” you add, “I’m having fun, actually. Seeun and Chaeyeong are of a different mind, though. It’s a bit hard doing it on my own but I like it anyway.”
“I can help you,” he suddenly blurted out, and he looked just as surprised at his words as you were. “If you want.”
You smiled at him, and Heeseung and you actually looked at each other, actually held eye contact for three seconds, until you felt your face burn and had to look away. “Sure, yeah, that’d be nice.”
Although it took some time to finish the puzzle - putting 500 pieces together was a lot trickier than you thought it’d be - Heeseung and you managed to do it, high fiving celebratorily after almost two hours of hard work.
Now
“I just had a lot of fun that day.” Heeseung shrugs. “Plus, I already liked things like Legos and Rubik’s cubes, so it made sense I’d like puzzles, too.”
You nod in response, watching as he twirls a puzzle piece between his thumb and middle finger. “It’s funny that my grandma’s mistake is what made you discover your love for puzzles.”
Heeseung chuckles along with you, and you’re relieved the atmosphere is somewhat lighter than before until he looks straight into your eyes, locking your gaze in his own, and a breath gets trapped in your throat. “I’m glad she did that, otherwise we wouldn’t be here right now.”
You’re still staring at him, dumbfounded, mouth agape, when he looks away with a smirk and turns his attention back to the puzzle, analyzing it seriously as if nothing happened. You come back to your senses after a few seconds, clearing your throat before imitating Heeseung and trying to focus on the puzzle once again. But that’s hard to do when your hands brush ever-so-slightly every time you fumble around the pile for a particular piece, or every time he hits your knee with his, inadvertently or to tease you, you’re not sure.
The first thing to do when starting a puzzle is looking for all the side pieces to build the frame. When Heeseung spots one in the pile next to you, he leans in to grab it, and he’s suddenly close enough for you to get a whiff of his cologne that had faded over the day. You think he’ll just take the piece and sit back in his seat, but instead, he turns his head towards you, and that’s when you realize just how close you are. Close enough that it wouldn’t be hard to close the gap and have your lips on his - just as the thought hits you, his eyes drift down to your parted lips. Is he thinking the same thing?
You take a sharp breath in, eyes fixed on Heeseung, mind racing with thoughts and assumptions of what might be going through his head right now. But your brain goes haywire when a smirk blooms on his lips, clearly enjoying your reaction. His gaze finds your eyes once more and he raises the piece between the two of you, in the small space that separates you. “Got it,” he says quietly, voice lower than usual. It makes your insides melt. He could be very well talking about you - he’s got you absolutely wrapped around his finger, and he seems to know it.
He turns back to the puzzle, smirk still on his lips, and you’re so embarrassed and confused that your flight instinct kicks in. The screech of your chair as you push it back and stand up makes Heeseung look up at you again, his smirk having dissolved in surprise and - disappointment?
No time to ponder, you need to get. out. of. here.
“Right, well, that was fun, haha,” you breathe out, actually saying the word ‘haha’ and wanting to run away even more thereafter. “I should probably head back to the girls, now.” You’re already backing up and walking away when Heeseung calls out your name, but you just turn around and rush back upstairs, yelling out a small “bye, Heeseung!” on your way.
You’re already back in Seeun’s bedroom when Heeseung shakes his head at your sudden disappearance, an amused smile playing on his lips. “Cute,” he says under his breath.
-
To minimize any chances of running into Heeseung, over the next two weeks, you ask Chaeyeong and Seeun if you could hang out at your house more often, using the excuse that you want to spend as much time as possible there before leaving off to college. They don’t question it too much - next year, they’ll be able to come back fairly regularly to their parent’s houses, since the college they’re going to is less than an hour-long car ride away, but you’ll be further away, too far to come back home often.
It just so happens to be the university Heeseung is studying at, but you don’t need to worry about that right now. They had one of the best English Lit programs in your area and you’d been wanting to go there for all of your high school years - you used to think of Heeseung’s going there as a pro, but right now, it felt more like a con.
You manage to only run into him twice over the course of those two weeks, and both times, just in passing. But now it’s the night of Seeun’s birthday party and it’s impossible to pretend he isn’t there even when you’re in a crowded room together. Heeseung and Seeun’s parents have lended their house for their kids to have a party there, using it as an opportunity to have a date night, and Heeseung and his friends have graciously provided a big portion of the alcohol, saying it was their birthday gift.
You aren’t the biggest fan of alcohol, so you opt for the fruitier, lighter drinks, but still, two hours after the party starts, you can already feel your head start to spin, your voice is louder, everything makes you laugh. When a friend from school tells you they’re playing seven minutes in heaven in the hallway upstairs, you think that's the funniest thing you’ve ever heard and immediately agree to join.
The sight of Heeseung sitting in the circle, already looking at you with a lopsided smile, almost sobers you up completely.
You’d tried to avoid him as best as you could, but it was like you couldn’t escape him - maybe that was due to the fact that the heart of the party was kept to the kitchen and the living room, just a few people sitting on the stairs at the entrance to get away from the noise, but still, it annoyed you to no end that you had to keep seeing him everywhere. Maybe that was also what made the alcohol easier to down.
At some point, you were in the kitchen, doing a shot of God-knows-what with girls from school. You heard his voice before you saw him, and it made you roll your eyes but also your heart skip a beat. “Didn’t know you were such a drinker, Y/N.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and when his face came into view, you wanted to slap it away. Or kiss it away, maybe.
“I’m not, I’m just trying to have fun,” you retorted, eyebrows slightly furrowed as you poured yourself another shot. I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas started playing in the next room and the girls shrieked before rushing to the made-up dancefloor. You wanted to join them, but something kept your feet firmly planted at the kitchen counter.
Before you could bring the shot glass to your lips, however, Heeseung stole it from you and downed it himself. “Hey!” you protested, but it was done, and he was scrunching his nose at the bitter taste, shaking his head. You wished he could stop being attractive for one damn second.
“You don’t need that to have fun.”
He placed his forearms on the kitchen counter and leaned on them, forcing him to look up at you. You had no idea what the hell he meant by that, nor did you want to try and figure it out - all you knew was that you couldn’t stay there with him when he looked at you so intently, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, hair perfectly disheveled and biceps apparent even under his t-shirt sleeves.
“You’re right, I don’t,” you made yourself say, and spun on your heels to join your friends on the dancefloor.
And a few drinks later, here you are, sitting in a circle on the hallway floor, Heeseung right in front of you, leaning back on his palms and looking down at you with that same stupid smirk once again.
The game goes as such: one person spins the bottle twice, and the people it lands on have to go to a bedroom closet for seven minutes (timed carefully by Jake, Heeseung’s friend who is taking this game very seriously) to do whatever they want, while the others occupy themselves with other games. When the seven minutes are up, the doors burst open, and you have to leave the closet.
And because it wouldn’t be any fun otherwise, after a few rounds, the bottle points straight at you, then straight at Heeseung, and before you know it, everyone except for Seeun is cheering, and Heeseung is holding out his hand for you to take, and you do, and he raises you up, and together, you head to his closet, as per the rules of this stupid middle-school game you should never have agreed to play in the first place. You can barely Seeun’s voice as she shouts, “Y/N, I trust you!”, which just makes Chaeyeong burst into laughter and whoop louder for you. You’d also barely registered Heeseung’s friends clapping each other’s backs, smiling like they were in on something.
The sound of the closet door shutting is what snaps you out of your daze. You hadn’t even realized Heeseung had kept your hand in his until he released it, leaning his back against one wall of the closet, facing you. All three bedrooms in the Lees’ house had built-in walk-in closets which meant you weren’t sandwiched between Heeseung and his clothes, but still, you wished you could put more distance between your two bodies - one step closer, and you were done for.
It wasn’t just Heeseung’s presence in the narrow space - it was his scent filling your nostrils, the combined smell of the cologne he was wearing, of the fabric softener on his clothes, and an unfamiliar scent you somehow recognized as unique to Heeseung, his skin, his hair, smells you’d wanted to discover for years but never got close enough to. Well, now you did. And it was intoxicating - you wanted more, wanted to bury your face in the crook of his neck and inhale. You wanted to know what his reaction would be, if he’d let you, if he’d push you away.
All those thoughts were running wild in your head. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. Your stomach was in messy knots, your hands were sweaty and you had no idea where to place them, your eyes wouldn’t stop darting around the dark room. Everywhere but Heeseung. You could feel his eyes on you, but you were too nervous to meet them.
Your breathing must’ve gotten loud enough for him to hear, because all of a sudden, you feel his hand take yours, and he’s stood up from his position against the wall, his body too close to yours for your heart to handle. His thumb rubs what he must think are comforting semi-circles on the back of your hand, but the touch just destroys any capability of thinking straight you had left.
“Y/N,” he calls out, and the sound of his voice makes your eyes close shut. You cannot give in. You had seen Seeun’s disgusted expression when you and Heeseung were picked for the game - if just the idea of you and her brother kissing repulses her, what would she say if she knew it actually happened, or if you started dating? You may have the biggest crush ever on Heeseung, but no one was worth losing your friendship with Seeun.
“Calm down,” he says, and you wish you could be as steady as his voice. “There’s no reason to be nervous.”
This makes you scoff. “You touching me is not helping my nervousness.” The words are out before you can stop them, and in the darkness of the room, you have to concentrate to make out the tilt of Heeseung’s head. You don’t need to see it to know he’s smiling, the satisfied smirk that has been gracing his features for the past month and a half.
“Yeah? Why is that?”
You take your hand out of Heeseung’s and cross your arms over your chest. “You know why,” you say, not intending your voice to come out as weak as it does.
Heeseung takes another step closer to you, and the only ray of light that comes through the panels of the closet door hits his face, making it visible for you to see. “I do, but I want you to tell me.” Another step, making you back up until you hit the wall behind you.
You call out his name shakily. His lips are right in front of you at this point, and you can’t not look at them.
He places a hand delicately on your waist, as if not wanting to scare you off. “Yeah?” He’s so close now that you can feel his breath fanning on your lips.
“We shouldn’t do this,” you say, and finally, your voice is strong like you want it to - but Heeseung isn’t deterred by it.
“Do what?” he asks, pretending to be stupid. “We haven’t done anything. Not yet.” He adds the last part in a whisper, his eyes drifting down to your lips, and you can feel your resolve crumbling piece by piece, the opposite of completing a puzzle.
“You know what I’m talking about,” you whisper back, voice almost pleading with him. Stop this before it’s too late, you want to tell him, but for some reason, at this point, you’re more scared of nothing happening than something happening.
“I do, but I want you to tell me,” he repeats, and you can’t help but let out a chuckle. Laughing helps relieve the tension, but it’s back as quickly as it left when his hold on your waist gets tighter, bringing you closer to him. Your hands that had fallen to your side come up to grab the sides of his t-shirt, gathering the fabric in your fists. There’s no going back now, you can tell - you wait for Heeseung to make a move, both dreading it and craving the relief that will come with it.
Heeseung’s free hand comes up to your face, and he traces your jawline with a knuckle before taking your chin in two of his fingers, gently raising it so that your face is angled up towards him. His touch makes your skin burn and takes away your ability to breathe properly.
“We shouldn’t do this,” you repeat, voice barely audible, a weak and half-hearted attempt at stopping this now that you still can.
“No, we shouldn’t,” he agrees, and before you can say or do anything else, Heeseung presses his lips to yours, finally, finally.
His lips are just as soft as you’d expected them to be, and the kiss is light, slow, careful. You’re grateful for it, because you’re not a very experienced kisser - if Heeseung had plunged his tongue directly into your mouth, you wouldn’t have known what to do. It’s almost like he knows this, like he’s giving you time to figure it out, to get used to it. His hand snakes its way to the small of your back, pressing you closer to him, while the other cups your cheek with his palm. You, on the other hand, have completely forgotten about your hands, only able to focus on where your lips meet.
It’s easy to fall into Heeseung’s rhythm, to let him take control of the kiss. But maybe it’s too easy, because soon enough, you start to want more - as amazing as this is right now, a slow kiss like this is not enough to have dissolved the tension in your body. You remember your hands and inch them up to his hair, your fingers finding purchase there and slightly pulling as you open your mouth just a bit wider, hoping Heeseung will get the message.
For a second, you think you’ve got it all wrong - Heeseung pulls back an inch, peering down at you. You’re both breathing heavily, and you’re scared you might have gone too far. But then, he murmurs a small fuck under his breath, and just like that, his lips are back on yours, your back is pressed against the wall again, his body encaging your smaller one. The kiss now is nothing like it was seconds ago - it’s turned hungry, hot, messy. You love it.
You had no idea you would want to kiss Heeseung like this, but now that you were doing it, you couldn’t get enough. The intensity with which he held you, the feel of his tongue against yours, the small groans that escaped his lips every time you pulled on his hair, it was all making you more drunk than the alcohol had.
You swear you haven’t even been kissing for two minutes, but then, all of a sudden, the doors are snapped open, and light pours in the closet, and Heeseung’s lips aren’t on yours anymore. You hadn’t heard the timer go off, too engrossed in Heeseung to pay anything else any mind. When you turn your head, Chaeyeong and Jake are staring at you and Heeseung, mouths wide open and eyes darting back and forth between the two of you.
“Oh. My. God,” Chaeyeong says, while Jake starts laughing. A shy smile appears on Heeseung’s lips, even plumper and pinker than usual from your kiss. His hair is a mess, and you’re sure you don’t look too different. He scratches the back of his neck, and you can’t believe this sheepish boy is the same that was kissing you roughly not a minute ago.
“Chaeyeong,” you cry out, voice already pleading as you take a step out of the closet and take both of her hands in yours. “Seeun can’t know about this.” She raises her eyebrows in surprise but nods her head in agreement, and you’ve never been so thankful for your friend as now.
“Would she really mind?” Jake asks, looking at you, then at his friend. You turn to look at Heeseung behind you, who purses his lips.
“I’m not sure, but I have a feeling she would… She’s always told me she didn't want me hanging out with her friends,” Heeseung says, and you and Chaeyeong exchange a look; this was news to both of you.
You have no further time to discuss it, however, because Seeun’s voice calling out your name and Heeseung’s make all four of you widen your eyes. Chaeyeong fixes your clothes and hair as best as she can, then smiles at you reassuringly and nods, prompting you to imitate her. She ushers Heeseung into his bathroom and tells him to “freshen up or whatever,” and you, Jake and Chaeyeong leave the room just as Seeun reaches the door.
“Where’s Heeseung?” she asks, not a trace of suspicion in her voice, peering behind you into her brother’s dark room.
“Just needed the toilet,” Jake answers quickly, and that seems to convince her.
She turns to you, an amused expression on her face. “Hope that wasn’t too awkward.”
You’re so surprised at your friend’s quickness to assume that nothing could happen between you and her brother, as if the idea was truly unfathomable to her, but you figure it’s for the best. You all head back into the party, Heeseung appearing some five minutes later. He scans the room for you, and when you make eye contact from across the crowded living room, he smiles, his shy, genuine smile that you’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
You already miss him, you realize, his lips, his touch, his scent. That’s how you know that you’re in deep, deep shit.
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#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen fluff#heeseung fluff#enhypen scenarios#heeseung scenarios#enhypen fanfiction#heeseung fanfiction#enhypen imagines#heeseung imagines
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ive tried to request and then immediately talked myself out of it 3 times now bc i get so nervous about asking off anon 😭 uhh can i get the prime assets dressing up :3c or like their clothing habits/preferences
Dressing them up like barbie dolls. I should do one of those dress up memes for them and draw them in stupid outfits. I'm putting Coyle in a skirt.
COYLE
- This man would wear leather 90% of the time, including leather pants. He takes wonderful care of his leather as well, makes sure to condition it as often as needed to keep it beautiful. If you see him sniffing his leather jacket, ignore it.
- It does not matter that he's sweating to death in said leather, he's not taking it off. He can't let you see his shirt with puppies on it underneath /j
- Prefers his clothing rather tight, super loose fitting clothing feels like it gets in the way. He likes the feeling of the wires wrapped around him for that reason.
- Would commit denim on denim crimes. Denim jeans, denim jacket, denim boots (referred to as doots by futterman). He does this to piss people off.
- Despises too much color in an outfit. Bright and colorful disgusts him, he's wearing neutrals and only neutrals.
- Would let a reagent decorate his beard with bows if he was promised pistachios. This is only if the pistachios are in his hands while they decorate.
- You'd think he'd wear heeled boots to make himself seem taller, but you'd be wrong! He's got the insoles that make him taller instead :)
- I think you could convince him to wear a rodeo cowboy outfit. Tassels and all that. You'd tell him he looks cool and he'd believe you.
- Cargo short dad vibes. Each pocket is full of cigarettes and/or pistachios. He doesn't care about the fashion he likes the utility. Takes him a good 5 minutes to get anything out of a pocket though.
- Wore fingerless gloves when he was younger bc he thought they made him look cooler. He'd try them on again and Franco would bully him relentlessly for trying to act younger than he is. He's crying in his room afterward.
MOTHER GOOSEBERRY
- She'd be the English teacher with a collection of fun skirts. Cute patterns, silly patterns, gaudy patterns, you name it, she's wearing it. Futterman says she looks like a rainbow threw up on her.
- She'd also love bold earring choices. Big earrings that make you double-take to make sure you saw them right, earrings that light up, anything with frills. She's a lover of the bold, partially because the children love her crazy styles.
- She'd play around with different lipstick colors if she had access to them. A nice purple lip would make her happy. If Futterman didn't call her a whore for wearing it.
- Futterman would also call her a whore if she tried to wear a shorter skirt, but she'd still tried to get away with it. Not super short, mind you, she's got an image to keep up for the children, but maybe something a little below the knees?
- If a reagent offered to do her hair, like put little accessories in it and detangle it, she'd cry. She wants to feel feminine and she wants to feel pretty, and a pretty bow might help her with that.
- She'd love to wear a petticoat under her skirts, the extra poof would make her feel fun. That's if Futterman didn't find a way to make a fat joke about it.
- Futterman himself would have a collection of very dapper bow ties. Polka-dots and stripes and maybe even little stars, and a variety of colors. He feels fancy when she changes them out for him.
- He'd hate it, but I think Phyllis would have a variety of little hats for him. I wanna see him in one of those little propeller hats. Spin it and she takes off of the ground.
- If it were modern times I could absolutely see her wearing a giant t-shirt with something like a kitten or a puppy on it. Maybe even tie-dye. She'd be a big t-shirt enjoyer is the main idea here.
- Would LOVE chunky heels or maybe even platforms if she was feeling adventurous, but I have this bad feeling she already got shit for being a tall woman. Let her be an even taller queen.
FRANCO
- I love the concept that he wears his clothes too big to feel smaller. While I'm not sure if Murkoff gave him his outfit that he wears in game, I don't think he's too upset about it being oversized.
- I also think that he likes wearing his suits bc they make him feel a little less ugly. He knows the suit is dirty and stained with a bunch of different shit, but a suit is a suit, and suits make you handsome, right?
- He's very particular about his bow ties, he only likes a select few patterns and colors. They still have to match with his suits, though. Can't have himself looking like a fool who doesn't know how to dress!
- Would attempt to steal one of Futterman's bow ties bc he likes it and thinks it'd look better on him. Would almost get fucking annihilated as a result.
- We know his hygiene isn't great from the comics, but I think he's at least slightly ashamed about just how filthy his outfit is. I think he's just kinda accepted that it's not going to be cleaned/he has no way to clean it.
- If you put him in a brand new zoot suit and stuck him in front of a mirror, he'd try to act cocky and like he knew he was handsome as hell. But you'd absolutely be able to tell by how he's smiling and how his eyes are watery that he hasn't felt this attractive in awhile.
- A personalized pacifier WOULD be considered a part of an outfit. If his paci matched his outfit he'd feel so damn cool. And if it had his name on it and looked nice? He'd feel like a prince.
- He's gotta wear his dress shoes, they're a mandatory part of his look, but he wishes they had a little more heel to them. He's joining Coyle in the insoles that make him taller. My short king.
- Outside of the suits, he'd love a soft, heavy sweater. Something that really makes him feel like he's being cuddled. The color wouldn't really matter to him, as long as it offered him some comfort.
- I'm a firm believer in him wearing diamond earrings. I know it doesn't fit as much with the baby part of him, but the mobster in him loves showing off his wealth. He'd fiddle with them a lot, though.
I accidentally assigned Gooseberry's style as "lesbian art teacher" and I won't be taking it back ❤️
#leland coyle#mother gooseberry#dr futterman#phyllis futterman#franco barbi#il bambino#outlast trials#outlast#outlast asks#outlast trials asks#franco and phyllis i always feel sad for#i just write coyle as the menace i view him as
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Brother’s Best Friend (Azriel x Reader)
summary: you are cassian’s sister and have a thing for azriel
wc: 1K
a/n: this is my first fic ive written for tumblr since like 2014 i think so sorry if its absolute garage. this is also not proof read at all and honestly i wrote this while tipsy bc ive been nervous to write again so i’m just saying fuck it i’m sorry :)
warnings: slight smut/suggestiveness
You always looked up to Cassian since you were little.
Like most big brothers, he has always been protective as fuck, especially with growing up in the windhaven camp and becoming solely responsible for you after your mother died.
He shielded you from so much in your childhood because he wanted the best for you.
Like many little sisters, you thought Cassian and his friends were the coolest males alive and wanted to follow them everywhere.
You basically had three big brothers instead of one.
They would try to include you as much as possible, but sometimes they did certain things that you definitely should not be around and would find some excuse to get rid of you.
But at the end of the day, the three of them would stand up to just about anyone for you to protect you. And they did.
They only let you join the snowball fight once and then kicked you out because it wasn’t fair that you only targeted Cassian the entire time and that Azriel felt bad throwing snowballs at you.
Also you were a child and couldn’t throw far enough to hit any of them, but they still say you suck at snowball throwing to this day.
When you got older, you desperately tried to ignore the rumors you heard about the boys around the camp. No one needs to hear about their brother’s sex life.
When the four of you moved to Velaris and after everything with Rhysand’s family, they were all very protective over you.
Over time, you and Azriel grew closer. His close friendship with Cassian led to you becoming closer with him than Rhys.
He is soooo protective of you.
So much so that no one bats an eye when he scares off any male that tries to court you, claiming they are not worth your time.
“I’m not overprotective, I just don’t think that any of these males meet your standards.” Aka his standards for you
Having a shadow or two follow you around became the norm.
You and Azriel start to spend a lot of one on one time together, platonically at first. You two are definitely the comfortable silence type.
Reading your separate books on the couch together was a common occurrence.
You spent years trying to ignore the shift in how you viewed Azriel.
Neither of you are quite sure when you realized the change in your relationship, but one day you became very aware of how attractive you find him.
The shy and quiet boy quickly became the silent and mysterious male.
And Azriel isn’t quite sure when you went from being Cassian’s kinda annoying younger sister to a vivacious female with curves he can’t keep his eyes off of.
The emotional connection had been there for centuries through friendship, but once it became physical attraction, you both knew you were screwed.
One night after drinking at Rita’s, Cassian asked Azriel to make sure you got home safe.
The alcohol inhibits both of your judgements and you both end up in your bed that night.
“You don’t know how long I have wanted to do this. No other male even deserves the chance to try to make you feel as good as I do.”
He was your first (again because he scared away every single male who tried to come near you) and it was fucking adorable
Waking up next to your brother’s best friend is a different level of anxiety.
You freak out and tell him this absolutely cannot happen again. You make an effort to avoid being alone with him.
But obviously Azriel is not content with just one night after getting a taste of you.
He spends the next several weeks slowly breaking down your walls with sneaky touches and whispering dirty things in your ear when no one is watching.
Eventually you cave and end up at his door one night, pissed at him for succeeding, but also practically begging him to fuck you again.
And again. And again.
It took no time at all for the actual feelings to be revealed between you two and to start secretly dating.
And from there it’s months of sneaking around and pretending to be just friends in front of others.
Az feels sooo guilty about lying to his friend but you don’t want to tell Cassian because you know he will freak out.
He asks you so many times to tell Cassian because he hates lying to him.
And Rhys is so suspicious of you two but doesn’t want to interfere.
Eventually Cassian catches you two.
He enters Azriel’s room without knocking one night to ask some stupid question and finds Azriel with his face between your legs. We all know Az loves eating you out so obviously.
Cassian is pissed.
As in, he tries to fight Azriel.
But Azriel just lets him and doesn’t fight back because he knows he fucked up by not saying anything sooner.
You start screaming and put yourself between the two of them to get Cassian to stop, which makes Azriel immediately move to cover you in case Cassian doesn’t react quick enough to stop.
Cassian sees how protective Azriel is of you and how you were willing to throw yourself in front of Azriel to defend him and realizes this isn’t just some casual thing between you two.
It takes a couple days for him to forgive Azriel for lying. He forgives you within one day because you always have been able to use your puppy dog eyes on him to get what you want.
Eventually Cassian accepts your relationship.
But he threatens Azriel that if he ever hurts you, he will do something so severe that Az wouldn’t tell you what he said.
Cassian still makes an overdramatic scene of gagging every time you and Azriel are affectionate in front of him.
Which only makes you do it more to piss him off because that’s what sisters do.
#acotar#acotar fanfic#a court of thorns and roses#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x female!reader#acotar fic#azriel acotar#bat boys#my writing
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hey just wanna say that i LOVE your art!!! i’ve seen you on twitter and ugh just can’t get enough of it! also do you happen to have some johnshi headcannons?? cuz if you do i would like to see them all!! :3
thank you so much!!! i hope to draw more.... also get ready bc i have way too many headcanons and this'll probably be super long winded unfortunately . this isn't all of it but its most of it
- kenshi is a heavy sleeper. after moving in with johnny post-tournament he begins to unwind from his former unhealthy schedule that was supported by his yakuza lifestyle. johnny wakes up at 5 am to work out until lunch, and kenshi sleeps in til like noon or 1. johnny thinks its cute
- they either own a fuck ton of cats or ferrets. johnny seems like a ferret guy to me
- they like watching director's cuts of movies instead of actual movies because kenshi can actually understand a little more of whats happening while the directors explain certain scenes and go into depth about the composition and art direction. its a win win situation for both of them
- johnny actually reads a ton of books, but is embarrassed about it. leftovers from being a ""nerd"" in high school. kenshi thinks its adorable and he likes hearing johnny retell the book plot and express his exasperation with it unfolding as he reads
- johnny has a sweet tooth and kenshi has a more refined palette, he will try anything johnny sets in front of him though, even if he isnt much of a sweets guy
- on that same note, johnny is very good at cooking! every other night he plans a meal for them, and it's almost always a winner. lots of japanese style dishes (took some trial and error on johnny's part) because he wants to impress kenshi
- they go to red carpet events together after a couple of years of dating, but for a while they pretended (to the press, too) that kenshi was his newest bodyguard. rumors spread fast though and it ended up being a perfect time to let johnny come out publicly as bi
- kenshi's parents are actually very very supportive. i think he'd be nervous at first but his mom thinks johnny is very handsome and his father agrees its a good change for their family. kenshi has two sisters who absolutely raise hell over kenshi nabbing a sexy gaijin star and he is very embarrassed about it. much to johnny's delight
- they spend every weekend on the balcony of johnny's new loft in his jacuzzi just talking and being sappy. kenshi genuinely gets a lil upset when things come up and they miss their date nights
- everytime kenshi returns to the states after visiting home johnny makes a big scene at the airport. lunging at him, crying sobbing
- kenshi proposes first, but johnny had been nervously trying to wait for a good time to do it himself. one upped. he is still very upset about this well into their marriage as old yaois
- kenshi is the top 👍 i think we all knew this but still
- even if he doesn't need it, its sort of a ritual between them so they never stopped; johnny is still kenshi's sight dog when they go out and he doesn't feel like relying on sento.
- sento's ancestors like johnny a lot and kept being annoying about kenshi needing to get hitched already hskw7kejej
- kenshi is achillean, gay. always has been. his arrangement with suchin was. arranged. and she was his lesbian beard for a while. the two are very very close and she visits their home often. johnny is trans and bisexual, but he's only out about being bi.
- johnny tends to have a really shitty sleep cycle, light sleeper, easily thrown into insomnia, the busy street life can really fuck up his routine when hes already had a terrible day. which ends up with the both of them on the couch, talking, watching a show, kenshi with his head on johnny's shoulder. they fall asleep like that 7 times outta 10
- the older they get the sappier and grosser they get . everyone who knows them hates their gay asses . jax and sonya included
- also they both get dad bods when they get older bc of all the good eating. neither are insecure about it. its hot
- kenshi is undeniably the spoiled one. gifts, fancy dinner dates, unrelenting affection and praise. he starts believing he deserves good things, that he is loved, solely by johnny's persistence with showing him instead of telling him
- cris ends up being their friend again after a while. i just dont like the cris villainization when its contrasted with johnshi support. she had her reasons to be upset at her alcoholic, spending-addicted husband, y'all
- johnny like action/sci fi movies. kenshi likes romcoms.
- they host parties. they're awesome parties.
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Sending a less intense ask now that I know you didn't disappear. How about Miguel x male reader who's cannon event was losing his husband, his worlds Miguel. (Hurt/Comfort)
Or Miguel, who's afraid to hurt the reader bc his fangs/powers/strength/etc. So reader has to show him that they're stronger than they look. (Angst/Fluff, optional Smut)
Or Miguel and reader having a secret relationship, but it's hard to keep it that way when he's so desperate for your attention all of the time (Smut, cough semi-public cough)
These are just some ideas, but there's no pressure to answer any of them. Have a good day :)
Might write your other ideas too, ngl...
Slightly more angst whoops.... sorry?
The first time you met Miguel had been a very long time ago.
It was a glance at first. Just a random man visiting the doctor's area of your lab. Perfectly normal.
Then it was a conversation. Then a date. Then a proposal, and before long you were married and happy.
You were originally working on a biological project, which was the spider that made you the Spiderman of your world. And though Miguel was nervous, he was supportive nonetheless.
Unfortunately, like all your counterparts, your unavoidable canon had resulted in Miguel's death, something you never got over. No matter how long passed, your heart felt just as heavy thinking about your husband.
You'd tried just about everything to get him back, even if he wasn't the same.
Experiments, A.I., anything that came to mind. But it was never him.
Maybe it had destroyed you a bit.
Maybe you spent too long torturing yourself in your head, trying to cover any sense of loss with the humor so traditional of a spider.
And maybe, just maybe, you missed him more than you could handle.
It wasn't until you swung face first into an anomaly (literally, a wall had basically materialized in front of you) that your life changed again.
Before you could blink, a man in a dark suit had been tackled to the ground. He was forming stone walls around him, attempting to stand back up.
Judging by the large stature of the man behind him, that wasn't happening.
The suit drew your attention first. It looked weirdly like the one Miguel had helped you make years before. Not the same, but close.
Several other people were with him, each one with different but similar outfits.
"Uhhh should I be fighting you guys, or…?" You questioned, looking over the group. You were prepared for a fight, but they seemed too calm to be villains like those you usually fought.
The tall man looked over to you, nodding to a woman next to him, dressed in all red.
"No, but we owe you an explanation."
And they gave you one, explaining that you weren't really as unique as you thought, but in a much more fulfilling way. You were one of many, many universes out there.
They showed you HQ, a place full of slightly different variations of yourself.
And with that, you had one single question.
Is he out there somewhere too?
After that moment the tour was a blur. Your mind was too caught up in running over the ways to ask if you could find your husband. Even just seeing him from a distance. Anything would do.
"Hey, big guy?"
The man in front of you seemed unimpressed, even in the dim light of his workspace.
"What's the rule on going to see people in other universes? Like, you came to my world so shit wouldn't go sideways if I visited someone, would it?"
It wasn't the first time Miguel had been asked that, of course. They all lost someone, of course they'd ask to see them again. The only issue was breaking the fabric of reality. And the fact that Uncles, Aunts, and anyone else really was dead in most worlds.
"No you cannot see dead loved ones."
His mask faded away, a serious look on his face. "We all have canon events…"
He was talking. You knew he was talking.
But his eyes were so tired.
It had been a long time since you'd seen him, but he looked so much less… alive.
But you'd take any version of alive.
You couldn't hear anything he said. You were too busy studying every feature on his face, watching him carefully.
"Miguel?"
He paused. "We know each other on your Earth?"
"We don't on yours?" You asked with a twinge of sadness in your voice, wishing a parallel you could've been happy with him.
"Uh, yeah, hi, I was planning to step in a little sooner but, uh, whoops."
The flash of a woman floating in the air next to Miguel stopped you. Layla, as Spid- Miguel had introduced her earlier.
"Layla I'm in the mid-"
"Shockingly it's more important than whatever you're saying," she huffed. "In Y/n's world he joined the research team that eventually made the spider that bit him, in Miguel's world Y/n had joined a completely different company. You two didn't meet the same way in your worlds."
"Okay?" Miguel questioned, opening his mouth to continue complaining about Layla interrupting.
"Yeah, but on Y/n's Earth-"
"We're married. You… you saved the lives of a family and died in the process."
You could see his heart break for you. For most people, the shift in expression would be nothing. In fact, it was very well hidden. But you knew him.
And he knew loss more than most. And though he didn't know you, he knew what you felt.
Layla flashed away, leaving the two of you in the low light of Miguel's office.
"I'm sorry."
He was so much more broken than you remembered.
"I got to see you, that's all I wanted." You smiled, looking over his features with a sense of calm you hadn't felt since Miguel's death.
"Would you wanna take another walk? Maybe I could show you around my world." You suggested. You'd be happy just seeing him, you really would. But you'd be even happier spending time with him.
"You understand that-"
"It's not like you'd have to go back to my world forever. And I would've stayed alone there anyway, I doubt I would be wrecking some happy future life, Miguel."
His eyes narrowed. "But you-"
"You don't know me, it's okay. I'm not asking you to do anything. Hell even this is enough for me. Just talking to you, for any length of time"
"You aren't hearing m-"
"Losing you was the worst day of my life." He quieted a bit, letting you speak. "We all have canon events right? I'm sure you understand how much it hurt, then."
You took a breath. This was more overwhelming than you expected it to be, which was saying something.
"You don't know me, Miguel,.and technically I don't know you either. But we got along pretty well in my world? At least consider being my friend?" You asked, a hopeful look on your face as you stared at the much more tired version of your husband.
"Please, Miguel?"
He stared at you a minute, his eyes softer than they were a minute before. He glanced down at your hand before looking back up at your face.
"You should leave, Y/n."
Your hand dropped slowly as you tried not to let your heart break again.
And you listened.
#secret admirer#male reader#dom male reader#top male reader#x reader#miguel x male reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x male reader#miguel ohara x male reader#miguel x reader#spiderman 2099#atsv
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