#he is the spirit captain tbh

[theslowestpoke]

Teen Wolf but they play ultimate frisbee instead of lacrosse

[ghouldtime]

Who was going to tell me that Captain John Price is ONLY THIRTY EIGHT

(I am talking about reboot Price for reference as he seems to be the most popular one)

I'm not making this up

I am floored, I am stunned

I swear to anything I thought he was late 40's early 50's but NOPE

Everyone writes him like he's one good breeze away from falling down the stairs and being in a nursing home. HE'S THIRTY EIGHT???

I'm still calling him peepaw irregardless cause it's funny but I'm losing my mind

For the record thirty eight isn't that old y'all. I'm so tired of people pretending like it is. That's not even fully middle aged. A lot of the COD men are middle aged to just about. Ghost is likely mid to upper thirties possibly around 40, Captain Price is (apparently) 38, König is likely upper thirties to mid 40's (he's probably in his 40's tbh), Keegan is 35, and the list goes on and on. The youngest would be Gaz (who is a bit older than Soap iirc) and Soap who is 26. A lot of operators will be close to if not middle aged, especially higher ranking ones

Let me have my middle age men. You can pry them from my cold, dead hands. I beg of you stop making them younger just for the sake of it outside of AUs because no one can accept that they're mostly not young dudes. Except with Price who apparently everyone decided has got a fast past to being geriatric where he's ready to fall asleep on the couch in his underwear watching the telly with a cold one in hand when it's 2pm on a Tuesday (same tho but in spirit that sounds nice)

(( AUs are great tho keep doing you're thing there and I love seeing AUs like when Ghost was just a Private. Those are so fun))

TL;DR what the hell Price isn't even that old?? and STOP MAKING THEM ALL IN THEIR TWENTIES OUTSIDE OF AUs PLEASE. They're mostly in their thirties and forties and that's okay and wonderful and I love that about them

[byllsbytch]

Halloween Party 🎃 (18+)

Nicholas Alexander Chavez

Genre : Smut

Summary: Dressed up as pirates you and Nicolas head out to a party, it turns out to be a great time and toward the end of the night things start to get heated.

A/N: Due to popular demand - the Halloween party plot was most voted upon so here ya go!

Warnings: p in v (tbh i dont know whats a warning)

I sat on the floor in front of the mirror. Makeup all around me. It was chaos, organised chaos though. I reached over to a fresh pack of eyelashes and placed them on to finish the look. Fuck I was smoking and I wasn’t even done. I leant over behind me to my curling iron and turned it on waiting for it to heat up. While waiting I scrolled through my phone and a message from Nick popped up on my screen.

“You’re gonna love my costume, I’ll be over soon.”

I smiled at his message before putting my phone down and reaching for the curling iron. We planned to go to the party together as pirates. I wrapped my hair around the rod and held it for a few seconds repeating the steps until I’d curled all of my hair.

Once I was finished I grabbed a bandana and wrapped it around my head. Finally I got changed into fishnets, boots, a skirt, white button up shirt and vest. I walked to the living room and loaded up my cooler bag with drinks and a pack of lollies I bought to get into the spirit.

“You’re looking good.” Mum called from the couch.

I smiled knowing damn straight I did.

“Thank you Mum.”

“Nicholas is still tagging along yeah?”

“Yeah he is, why wouldn’t he be?”

“Well, he’s cutting it a bit fine isn’t he?”

I looked at the clock.

“Yeah, but we’re in no rush.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“OK then.”

Almost on cue a knock appeared at the door and I answered to be met with Captain Jack Sparrow.

“You look so good!” I shrieked. “Stop it!”

He looked at the ground a large grin on his face.

After the praise he looked back up and his eyes were stuck on me, his face going redder.

“Woah! You look gorgeous, who knew a pirate could be so HAWT!”

He took a step inside and followed me to my room.

“Can I please put eyeliner on you?”

In character he bowed, “Of course m’lady”

I pushed him onto the bed, straddling him with my eyeliner in hand.

“Ok baby, so you have to keep your eyes open and look up.”

He hummed in agreement.

I brought the pencil to his waterline while he brought his hands to my hips slowly rubbing his thumbs in a circular motion.

His eye twitched like crazy. “Eh! Uh, Uh!” He groaned.

“Shh Nick! Stop being a baby, relax your eye.”

“Oh my god! It’s not relaxing! I don’t know if you can tell… Jesus how do you do this?”

He gripped tighter onto my hips as I started on his other eye, digging his nails into me. I folded backwards yowling in pain.

“Fuck! Ouch!”

Nicholas quickly jumped up from underneath me with instant regret.

“Oh my god babe I’m so sorry.”

“What is going on here!” Mum screamed.

Me and Nick both flung our heads into her direction.

“Oh,” She said quietly. “Nice eyeliner Nicholas.” Before turning back around and heading out the door.

We both look at eachother in silence then began to lose it, laughing hysterically.

“We better go.” I tried to say in between laughs.

I got up and reached my hand out to him, he grabbed my hand and wiped his tears with the other hand.

I grabbed the bag full of drinks and headed out the door, it wasn’t long until our friends swung by and picked us up.

-

Arriving at the party the music was already loud and bumping, the house was decorated nicely. Lights and projections illuminated the exterior of the home.

Me and Nick walked in hand in hand and began to mingle with all the other party goers. The house was packed with people and we were all cramped like sardines.

Once the liquid confidence kicked in, I joined Nick to the dance floor. Nick was being funny and bopped his head, pouting his lips. I giggled at his silly-ness and swayed my hips to the music, keeping my eyes on his. The music was upbeat and Nicholas grabbed my hand spinning me. We danced together and sang all the songs at the top of our lungs. It was so much fun.

We became sweaty messes and Nicholas took my hand as not to loose me dragging me outside to the cooler air.

“Oh this is much better.” I groaned fanning my face with a paper plate I picked up from the buffet table. Nick stood behind me and lifted my hair off my neck.

“Thanks babe, how’d you know?” I laughed.

“You’re gonna have to do the same to me in a minute, this wig is so fucking hot.”

I turned around, him letting go of my hair, placing a hand on his chest.

“That wig IS so fucking hot.”

He rolled his eyes with a chuckle and I lifted the heap of hair off his neck, fanning him now with the plate.

“Fuck this sweat and all this makeup, I cannot wait for a shower.”

Nick grinned looking me up and down. “Me too.”

“I’m gonna get us a drink. Objections?”

I shook my head. “None whatsoever.”

He took off back into the crowd and loud music.

I scanned around me and seen people jumping in the pool, other drinking and then a girl laying in the bush, spew all around her. Yikes.

I walked over to the food table and grabbed some munchies placing them on a plate for me and Nick to share. I then walked back to where I was before so Nick would loose me.

After a while he came back with drinks.

“They’re doing beer pong in there if you want to play.”

I gestured the plate toward him and he grabbed a mozzarella stick.

“Sure, can we finish our drinks out here and then go in?”

“Yeah of course darling.” He wrapped his free arm around me rubbing my shoulder.

Nicholas spun his head toward the girl in the bush and made a disgusted face. “Eh. Nobody see this?”

“I don’t think anyone cares to be honest.”

“She’s sleeping good alright.”

I sipped my drink and once I got to the last mouthful I downed it.

Me and Nicholas walked back into the muggy house and felt the heat instantly his us. The smell of sweat and booze lingered. I noticed that the house was all foggy whether that was a result of a smoke machine or the many vapers in the house I couldn’t tell at first. Judging by the fruity smell it was the vapes.

I stood behind Nicholas as he played his turn at beer pong, cheering him on. He managed to get 3 cups before missing on his fourth attempt. The chick opposing him absolutely crushed his team, dunking 7 cups in a row.

Later on in the night I had a girl spill her drink on me and I was so fucking ready to fight her. I grabbed all of my hair and started to tie it up, to which Nicholas grabbed me and pulled me away.

“It’s not worth it!” He yelled over the music.

I looked at him and instantly calmed down.

“Just wait here I’ll get you some paper towel.”

“I’ll meet you in the bathroom.” I yelled back so he could hear me.

I’d seen the line to the bathroom and threw my head back in annoyance. I leant on the wall with my arms folded waiting for the queue to die down.

Nicholas found me and looked around before shaking his head.

“Come.” He said holding onto my hand and taking me upstairs.

“Nicholas, we shouldn’t be up here.”

“Pft, it’s fine, no one will know.”

He lead me into one of the bedrooms which had a bathroom connected to it.

I hoisted myself up onto the bench which Nicholas soaked the paper towel handing me one, I scrubbed at my t shirt while he wiped the drink off my chest. He stopped what he was doing and looked me in the eyes with a hunger.

I lifted my head up noticing his sudden halt. He’d placed his hand on the spot of my chest he was cleaning previously and then moved his hand up toward my neck, his hand pushed back until my head touched the mirror behind.

I spread my legs making room for Nick to get in between them. He came closer and tucked the hair out of my face all the while I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He kept his hand behind my ear, continuing to look at me with desire. We stayed in this passionate encounter for a couple second before Nicholas had brought his soft lips to mine. He tasted of spirits, making me drunker by the second. I’d had fully given into him.

I wrapped my fingers into his hair, slipping my tongue into his mouth as he sucked on it. Our tongues went to war for dominance, with Nick’s ultimately winning.

“Best get this dirty top off, I don’t think that stain is coming out my love.” He managed to hush out in between our kiss. Immediately I obliged taking off my vest while Nicholas undid the buttons of the white shirt. He stood back to watch himself slip the shirt of my shoulders, admiring me.

“You’re just too perfect my beautiful.” He closed the gap between us, holding my face in his hands. I felt him poking me. “Ouh!” I moaned excitedly moving my hands down to his pants and rubbing his bulge. I yanked at the top of his pants and he groaned lowly as a way to give permission. I began to have a go at his belt. Trying to rush and get his buckle undone quick only made it harder for me so I had to break the kiss and focus on getting the belt undone. Nicholas was panting and looking down at what my hands were doing.

“Mhmm, that’s it baby, you got it, good job” He encouraged me, making me instantly look at him for his validation. He nodded, causing a big smile to approach my face. He wasted no time sliding his pants down. He forced his way between my legs and I brought my feet up to the edge of the counter giving him full access.

His fat cock sprung free and I began to stoke him, teasing him. He threw his head back thrusting into my hand. He lifted my skirt over my thighs and pulled my panties to the side, exposing my wet pussy. He spat on his hand for extra lubrication and slipped his fingers between my wet folds, inserting two fingers. I stopped all movement, especially stroking Nick and gasped, reaching my hand out to grasp anything. He slowly pumped his fingers in and out of me before he teased my entrance with his tip. I flung my knuckle to my mouth and bit it, a weak attempt to silence my pleasurable screams, not that anyone would have heard it through the load music that echoed through the walls.

Nicholas kept his eye on me to watch my reactions, he was pretty good to take notice on what to do, if I didn’t like something or if he should keep going. Judging by the look on my face his had the green light to go faster.

I leant my head back and let the pleasure take over me, Nicks dick repeatedly hit all the right spots. I wrapped my hands around his neck for support and Nick leant in to continue the passionate make out. He slid his tongue to the back of my throat and licked my teeth.

He took it upon himself to lift me. With the back of my knees being supported by his forearms his repeatedly lifted me and dropped me back down onto his member. I buried my head into his neck and dug my nails deep into his back, making scratches that left welts.

“Uh-huh right there.” My words started to become gibberish, as I felt myself coming close to orgasm.

“Nick, uh, right there, right there, right there.” My pitch became higher and my words faster. He continued thrusting into me.

“I’m gonna cum!” I screamed twitching in his arms, my eyes rolled back into ecstasy and I continued to ride out my high. Nicholas placed me back onto the counter before giving his final few pumps, trying to chase his high. At this point I was overstimulated and really sensitive.

“Nicky Baby! It hurts!”

“I’m right ther-“ Before he could finish his sentence he released his load and folded in half, collapsing on top of me.

We both panted loudly and Nick looked back up at my face smiling with a light chuckle.

I placed my hand on his abs and shook my head with a smile.

“Are you ok?” He asked inbetween pants.

Unable to say anything I just nodded with my eyes half closed in satisfied relaxation.

“You were so fucking good baby.” He said planting a kiss on my forehead.

Nick handed me his shirt, “Just put this on, I’ll hold onto your dirty shirt.”

“And you’re just going to walk around half naked?”

He stared at his pecs in the mirror, “Well yeah, I don’t plan on staying for long, I think we have a date with the shower.”

I laughed and shook my head standing up, my legs were wobbly and I couldn’t walk properly for the life of me.

“Yeah I think we should go now, lets not worry about hanging around.”

Nicholas raised his eyebrow at me standing awkwardly

“Shit, I’m sorry babe.”

“It’s fine, as long as you make it up by round 2 in the shower and cuddles and candy in bed.”

He nodded, “Agreed.”

Nicholas was distracted by his reflection again.

“Sorry I gotta say fuck captain jack sparrow looks good shirtless” He winked and clicked his tongue then walked to the door.

“You bet your ass!” I said, following him out the door and slapping him on the ass.

[nhlclover]

𝐒𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃 | 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

word count: 2.11k

summary: luke, captivated by your vibrant spirit, finds himself torn between his deep feelings for you and the fear of settling for casual flings

warnings: angst, swearing, brief nsfw content (nothing explicit), happy ending :)

notes: based on 'she's not afraid' by one direction. underrated song tbh

Luke was drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

Across the bar, your smile lit up the room, laughing at something that Jack was telling you. You were a beacon of light in any room you walked into, your laugh capable of melting even the coldest of hearts. You exuded an infectious enthusiasm for life that drew others to you effortlessly, Luke included.

Your paths crossed often as you found yourselves frequenting the same bars. The first time you met, Luke was drawn in by your vibrant spirit. He was constantly amazed at the way you were seemingly not afraid of anything, as well as your endless enthusiasm for even the most mundane things.

You, on the other hand, admire the youngest Hughes brother. His kindness towards others has you weak in the knees, and his easy charisma and charming smile captivated you from the minute you saw him.

The connection you two had was intense, yet complicated. Despite Luke’s deep feelings and the very obvious chemistry that fizzed between you, there was a barrier. A wall put up around your heart.

You were a free spirit, not one known to be bound by the constraints of a relationship. And the thought of settling down with someone scared you. Every time Luke brought up the two of you potentially being something more, you backed off. You kept an arm's length between you and Luke.

Despite your differences, you couldn’t stay away from each other. Your nights were filled with laughter, stolen glances, and heated encounters that left you both breathless. However, as the days went on, your tryst continuing, Luke found himself yearning for something more, something beyond the fleeting moments you shared.

Catching his eye across the room, you made your way through the crowd to him, apologizing to the bodies you bumped in the crowd. “Dance with me.” You grin, taking his hand in yours.

Luke chuckles, shaking his head. “Not happening.”

“Oh come on.” You groan, pulling him towards the dancefloor. “No one is even watching.”

That wasn’t true. His brother, his captain, and almost all his teammates were watching the bubbly Jersey girl they’d grown to know attempt to get the human equivalent of bambi on ice that was Luke Hughes to dance in public. You pulled him straight to the middle of the crowd, letting the music find you.

You moved with grace and abandon, your movements fluid and carefree. Everything you did was somehow graceful yet carefree. You didn’t think, you just did. He envied your reckless abandon. You didn’t care that others were staring, you weren’t afraid to be unabashedly yourself. Luke, on the other hand, felt like a puppet with tangled strings, his limbs stiff and awkward. He could feel the eyes on him, he could hear his teammates laughing.

You shook your head at his uncoordinated attempts at dancing, the self-consciousness seeping off of him. “You’re too stiff… relax.” You say, bringing your lips to his ear. “I know you can move your hips.”

Luke admired you as you threw your head back, laughing at your subliminal comment. With your guidance, Luke attempted to loosen up, to let the music wash over him and carry him away just as it had done to you. Slowly, tentatively, he began to move in time with the rhythm, his movements becoming less rigid with each passing moment.

“There it is.” You grin. Your arms snake around his shoulders, his hands settling on your waist.

You found a rhythm, swaying together. The world around Luke seemed to fade away, finally enjoying the moment as he got caught up in your infectious joy.

Despite his enjoyment, Luke could only dance for one song before his teammates reminded him of their presence with their hollers and whistles.

“Way to go, Lukey boy!”

“Okay, Don Juan!”

You returned to your table, flushed with excitement. "You know, Luke, you're not so bad on the dance floor after all."

Luke grinned, feeling a surge of affection. Before he knows it, Luke is paying your tabs, getting ready to leave with you. It’s your typical routine, always heading home with one another after a night out.

As you stagger out the front doors, the cool night air washed over you, a refreshing welcome after being in the stuffy club all night. You walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand, your laughter echoing in the empty streets. However, as you walked, Luke felt the knot of uncertainty tightening in his chest.

The ride up in the elevator is silent, you tucked under his arm humming the song that you danced to earlier. Luke's mind races with doubt. While Luke yearned for something more, he was just about to stumble into yet another fleeting moment.

The front door shuts behind Luke, his mind swirling with conflicting emotions. “Y/n, I…” He began, voice faltering.

Before he could continue, you placed a finger on his lips. "Shh, Luke. You don't have to say anything."

You drew him close, connecting your lips, enveloping him in warmth. Luke's arms instinctively wrap around your waist, picking you up off the ground and carrying you over to the couch. Laying you down softly, Luke situates himself above you, dropping a knee between your legs. His hand trails up from your waist, up your torso, cupping your breast and giving it a light squeeze.

The soft, desperate moan you let out had him straining beneath his boxers. Briefly, Luke thought that maybe it was fine. He didn’t need to define this. He was comfortable with the casual flings, knowing you made each other feel so good.

No. That’s his dick heart thinking. His brain takes the reigns, snapping him back to reality. Luke knew he couldn't continue living in the shadows of uncertainty, pretending that he was fine with your relationship being nothing more than casual flings.

Luke’s lips detach from yours, leaving you hanging on the edge. Your eyes flicker open, scanning Luke’s face. His mouth is ajar like he’s on the precipice of saying something, eyes soft as he looks down at you.

“What’s wrong, Luke?” You ask, reaching for his face.

He suddenly pulls out of your reach, standing up. You prop yourself on your elbows, watching him step back from the couch. His heart ached as your expression became worried.

“Y/n… I can’t keep doing this.” Luke says, voice wavering in his admission.

You sit up fully, adjusting your crooked shirt and wiping the sides of your mouth. “What do you mean?”

"I can't keep pretending that what we have is enough when it's clearly not." Luke explained

Your eyes widen in surprise, your usual bubbly demeanour faltering for a moment. “Luke…”

He cuts you off, finally having found resolve. “I need more than just casual hookups… I need something real.” Luke says. “And I can't keep doing this with you, hoping that someday you'll realize that you want more than just a casual fling."

His long strides have him by the door in no second, while you’re still on the couch reeling from what he just said. Luke, a hand on the doorknob, looks back at you. He nearly crumbles at the sight. Tears brim in your eyes as you hold yourself tightly. Your mouth moves as you attempt to explain but the words fail to form.

You watch the door slam behind him as Luke leaves you sitting there, feeling foolish. The tears flow down your cheeks leaving mascara stains in their trail.

When Luke enters his apartment, he’s met with his brother half naked on the couch, a girl straddling his hips. “Luke! What are you doing home already?” He asks, the girl throwing herself off of Jack and grabbing his shirt to cover her chest.

Jack was familiar with your guys’s routine. He knew what happened when you two would show up at the same bar, as it frequently ended with him seeing you in his kitchen the next morning. When he witnessed his brother leaving the bar, following you out the doors, he assumed he wouldn’t see his brother till the next morning, and therefore could take advantage of the apartment to himself.

Luke ignores him, bolting straight to his room and slamming the door behind him. Luke throws in his airpods, turning up his music to drown out the thoughts of you.

The next morning, Jack attempts to ask Luke about what happened the night before but is met with an icy response. “Doesn’t matter.” Luke mumbles through a mouthful of cereal. He attempts to pry, at least trying to ask if you’re okay, but it only seems to piss Luke off more.

“Dude, stop fucking asking!” Luke snapped. He huffs, dropping his bowl into the sink. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about it. Now let’s go, we’re gonna be late for morning skate.”

Jack doesn’t press the situation anymore, the drive to the rink done in silence rather than the normal conversation the two would find themselves in.

As Luke laced up his skates in the early morning light, preparing for the routine morning skate, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of his stomach. Thoughts of you swirled incessantly in his mind, a constant distraction that made it difficult to focus on the task at hand. As he glided across the ice, his movements lacked their usual grace and precision. Every stride felt heavy, every shot missed its mark. His teammates shot him concerned glances, noticing his uncharacteristic lack of enthusiasm.

But it wasn't just the morning skate that suffered. As the final buzzer sounded, signalling the end of the game, Luke couldn't help but feel a sense of defeat wash over him. Not just because of the loss on the scoreboard, but because he found himself unable to shake the nagging feeling that he had made a grave mistake in breaking things off with you. Deep down he knew that it was the healthy decision to end things with you, but his feelings ran deep.

As he and Jack made their way out of the arena and towards their building, Luke's mind churned with a tumultuous mix of emotions. He replayed the moments of last night over and over again, questioning whether he had made the right choice in ending things.

As Jack and Luke approach their building, they spot a figure sitting on the front steps. It doesn’t take the youngest Hughes long to recognize that it’s you, your normally cheery demeanour replaced by tear-stained cheeks. You stand up, Luke’s heart lurching with concern. Jack slips past them, heading inside to give you space to talk.

“I’m sorry for showing up here so late.” You apologize, your voice wavering with emotion. “But I had to tell you this.”

Luke stays silent, allowing you to continue. You sniffle, wiping the tears off your cheeks.

“I do have feelings for you.” You say. “Like I really, really like you.”

Luke felt like his heart skipped a beat. He had harboured feelings for you for months now, just wanting you to reciprocate. He felt a surge of hope go through him, but couldn’t help but feel confused as to why it took so long.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Luke asks.

You let out a dry chuckle, shaking your head, and avoiding Luke’s gaze. “I was afraid.” You admit. “I’ve always been no strings attached… I do what I want and I don’t care what people think. So when I fell for you… I got scared. Because that meant commitment.

“And what if I commit and then get my feelings hurt?” You continue before laughing once again. “But in not committing, I've ended up hurting myself anyway."

Luke reaches out, gently tilting your chin up to meet his eyes. "I thought you weren't afraid of anything," he teased lightly, trying to ease the tension in the air.

A small, watery laugh escapes your lips, a hint of your usual spark returning. "I guess I'm not as fearless as I thought," you admitted, a wistful smile playing on your lips.

Luke’s heart swells with tenderness as he looks into your eyes, vulnerability and honesty shining through. Luke’s hand cups your cheek, his thumb gently stroking it. Relief washes over the both of you, Luke finding relief in his feelings being shared, you finding relief in finally being able to admit to your fears.

Luke leaned in, closing the distance and brushing his lips against yours in a soft, feather-light kiss. All previous kisses shared between the two of you had been heat-of-the-moment kisses with little realized feelings. But this kiss was a gentle, achingly sweet one. Every sensation of you was heightened as you melted into him, savouring the intoxicating feeling of his lips against yours. This kiss was filled with promise, with longing, with the unspoken desire that had simmered between you for so long.

When you finally pulled back, breathless and exhilarated, Luke's eyes searched yours. There was a silent understanding passing between you, a mutual acknowledgment of the feelings that had been laid bare.

[the-punforgiven]

Note that the ones you don't choose will not attack you all at once, they'll attack you randomly within the span of a couple months. The unchosen ones are free to form alliances with each other as they see fit, but are not guaranteed to do so.

Additional (optional) details below the cut

- The mercenary and the bounty hunter can be paid off, but only if you choose a protector with the money to do so

- The young wizard's grandfather was much more powerful than the old wizard is

- The magic sword the inexperienced knight wields has a moral compass of its own and HATES the overlord specifically, and she will not ally with the young knight because of it

- The aged wizard does have a spellbook of his own and is experienced enough to teach you, so you could in theory learn some of the spells from it for yourself but it would be very difficult

- The Overlord does have an army of evil minions at her disposal, but has chosen not to use them because she's so confident in her supernatural strength and evil magic. She might stoop to summoning a few of them if the situation gets REALLY dire, though

- The mercenary is VERY well trained with his greatsword, and bodyguarding is his specialty

- The woman in the coat and hat always seems to have wispy shadowy tendrils coming off of her, and you've never seen more than the lower half of her face. She's tall and mysterious but you don't actually know what she's capable of tbh

- The pirate like just finished a fairly lengthy voyage and does not have enough supplies on his ship to stay at sea for the whole month. He will have to make port at least once to resupply

- The dragon knight is the tallest of the bunch, narrowly beating out the Overlord. He can also breathe fire, though it hurts him greatly to do so

- The bounty hunter has an extensive set of plans specifically tailored to kill everyone else on this list individually. However, those plans are somewhat situational and the others regard him with suspicion enough to plan around his planning, which he in turn plans to plan around as well

- The wailing spirit has some beef with the pirate. She terrifies him specifically

- The vampire can create thralls to assist you, but does not have any at the start

- The vampire and the overlord do both have castles you could hang out in, but the vampire's is not well guarded and the Overlord as mentioned previously has given her minions the month off

- The goblins have a small camp of tents in the middle of the forest, with a 5-foot high defense wall made of sharpened sticks. They are armored in scraps and have really shitty weapons but they're a scrappy bunch who'll consider you one of their own, and are very experienced in ambushes and hiding

- The Overlord regards the goblins with a sense of fond nostalgia, recalling her command of them in her younger years

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Kinktober Special Part 5

Mo’s Kinktober Special 

The Crew’s Whore (Part 5) (+18)

Summary: You are the former owner of the Grand Line’s most popular brothel. Your powerful fighting abilities got the attention of the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He had asked you to join their crew but what would you bring to the team? Your battle skills were hardly comparable to many of the other Straw Hats… but you actually had a great skill. Your years working as a high end escort had prepared you to become the private plaything for this pirate crew. You joined the Straw Hats as their personal sex toy.

Pairing: Sanji x afab!reader x Zoro

WC: 3100 :)

TWs: Threesome, three way, anal sex, vaginal sex, blowjob, face fucking, sex toy usage, eating out, oral sex, crying, arguing during the deed, they simply can't agree. I love this one tbh. porn.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5: The Rivals

It was an average night aboard the Thousand Sunny, the crew was in good spirits and was getting ready to enjoy another lavish dinner. Zoro was napping on the upper deck, Usopp and Luffy were playing around and cackling at each other, Sanji was preparing the evening meal in the kitchen, and everyone else was off occupying their time elsewhere. 

You knew you had a special date scheduled with Sanji tonight, so you thought you might visit him in the galley to tease him a bit. He was always so fun to work up. 

You slinked into the galley from the deck and sidled up next to your sweet love cook who was at the sink washing his hands. The countertops were littered with small bowls of meticulously pre portioned ingredients and jars of spices. He senses your presence and turns to face you. 

“Oh mon amour! Do you need anything? I can fix something for you quickly if you want, perhaps a cocktail? Your wish is my command-“ You shut him up by cupping his face in both your hands a pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. You smile at him.

“I’m just excited for tonight, Sanji. Can’t wait to feel you.” You wink at him.

“… oh love, you have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to it… you’ve prepared yourself- right? It’ll be alright if we-?” Sanji slides his hand over your ass, pressing in the center. He felt something subtle but hard resting between your plump cheeks. He could feel the plug you were keeping in your ass, to open yourself up for him later. You nod up at him. A single drop of blood escaped his nose. 

“You are so perfect, y/n, you know that? I have to finish preparing dinner, but trust that I will be thinking of your tight little ass the entire time.” He grins down at you. 

“See you later then.” You flash your cook a smile as you waltz excitedly out of the kitchen. 

——

As per usual, dinner was excellent. You enjoyed plenty of delicious wine and treats as you shot the shit with the crew. After the meal was over, the crew began to filter out of the kitchen and head off to bed. Eventually it was just you, Zoro, and Sanji sitting in the galley. Sanji was finishing dishes and you and Zoro were finishing your drinks. You decide you want to finish the bottle so you lean off of your stool to grab it from the other end of the table. 

Zoro swiftly grabs you by the belt loops of your jeans and slams you down on his his lap aggressively. 

“Ooof- Zoro! Down, boy!” You giggle at him while still pulled into his lap. Zoro leans close to you and begins growling in your ear. The sake was clearly talking.

“Mmm…. Wanna take you on the deck tonight, where anyone could see us…” Zoro starts mouthing at your neck. “You’d love that shit, huh? My dirty little girl… so cute…” He reaches a hand up to grope at your breast. 

“NOT TONIGHT MOSS HEAD!” A damp dishtowel was balled up and chucked full speed at the swordsman’s head on your neck. 

“THE HELL DID YOU SAY?” Zoro picks you up off his lap and sets you down on your feet, getting ready to fight Sanji.

“We have a date, you barbarian. Something you’d know nothing about. She’s spending tonight with me, get in line.” Sanji explains. 

“It’s true, Zoro… I am occupied tonight, I’m sorry, handsome. Tomorrow?” You tried cupping Zoro’s cheek to calm him down. 

“No way, FUCK YOU shitcook! I’ll have what I want when I want it, especially before YOU do! She’d have a much better time with me anyway!” Zoro was heated, he was horny and wanted your body to relieve his stress. That’s what you were for, right? He wasn’t a fan of all the fine print this arrangement came with. 

“YOU THINK YOU FUCK HER BETTER THAN ME? Don’t make me laugh, moron. You don’t know anything about a woman’s pleasure. You can barely tell your left from right.” Sanji spat back at him. 

“I BET YOU’VE NEVER EVEN MADE HER SQUIRT!” Zoro was screaming cross the kitchen island. 

“OF COURSE I FUCKING HAVE YOU ASS-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! Both of you!” You raised your voice and walked to stand in the middle of them at the end of the counter. They both shut their mouths and look at you, not used to hearing you yell. 

“You guys are ridiculous. I care about both of you equally of course, there’s no need to act like toddlers fighting over a toy. You’re grown men. If you can’t figure out how to share, you’re BOTH getting NOTHING.”

“Mon amour but-“ Sanji began to speak.

“NO BUT’S. From EITHER of you. Figure it out.” Frustrated and annoyed, you storm out of the kitchen and return to your room. 

——

About an hour later you were laying on your bed, your silk black robe opened and splayed around your body. You used your left hand to pull and twist your nipple, while your right hand was between your legs slowly teasing your clit with one finger. Regardless of how the night went, the plug in your ass had made you so horny all night that you couldn’t wait any longer to relieve the wet ache in your cunt. Knowing how much better your orgasms were when you had a plug in and also if you took your time to tease yourself, you decided to slowly pleasure your body. Deep sighs and airy whines left your mouth as your chest rise and fell, enjoying the feeling you were giving yourself. You felt your muscles tense around the plug in your ass and you moaned out. 

*knock knock*

“I’m busy…!” You breathe out heavily. The door opens anyway. Sanji gingerly steps in. His eyes widen at your exposed body before him. You didn’t bother to stop your movements, most everyone had seen you like this by now anyway. Sanji strides towards you after a few moments of a blank stare. 

“My love… moss head and I… we worked it out, I promise… may we… still have our date?” He pleads for you as he crawls onto the bed with you. 

“Aww, I knew you could do it, sweet boy. Thank you so much.” You bring your wet fingers up to his lips. He sucks on them greedily. You slide your body to lay back on the bed with your head hanging out off the edge barely. You spread your legs and beckon Sanji to lay between your thighs. He knows exactly what to do. Once situated, Sanji uses both of his large palms to lift up and spread your cheeks so he could see that cute little silver butt plug. He groans at the sight combined with the gorgeous scent of your dripping cunt. 

He dives in immediately. You gasp at the immediate feeling of his lips on your clit. Sanji was one of your lovers that was simply the best at eating pussy. He always did it with such fervor, such passion, that you were convinced he was doing it for him own pleasure. 

Sanji hmm’d and groaned against your slick sex as he became drunk on your flavor. Your breathy moans sped up as he worked your clit and your hole towards a climax. 

*WHAM* 

Your door swung open, you opened your eyes as your head hung off the bed facing towards the doorway. 

Zoro stood there looking you dead in the eye, upside down.

“Hmmm what a pretty sight. Can’t believe you’ve gotten her this close, curly.” Zoro coos at you before stepping inside your room and closing the door behind him. 

“Zoro.. I… Thought you guys worked this… out… What-“ You choke out as Sanji doesn’t even look up and notice the swordsman’s presence. He briefly pulls away from your cunt. 

“We did. I invited him.” He dives back in, sucking on your swollen clit. Sanji slips two fingers inside of you as you process this information. You cry out in pleasure but also confusion. 

“Since you’ve given that shit head the honor of fucking your ass tonight… I figure this would give us the perfect opportunity to learn to share.” Zoro smirked as he strode towards your bed, slowly shedding the sash around his waist and untying his trousers. 

Your pussy throbbed at the thought of having both men inside you at once. 

Zoro stepped out of his pants and came to stand by your sweaty face. He stroked his half hard cock in his hand and used it to firmly tap your lips. 

“Open up, Princess.” 

You oblige and open your mouth and loll your tongue out for him. He shoves his dick into your mouth and thrusts softly and slowly. All of this is happening while Sanji continues his assault on your pussy with his mouth. He needed you soft and open for what was going to happen tonight. 

“Make her cum, cook, I wanna feel her throat when she screams.” Zoro breaths out as he fucks your face. 

“MhmmMMM-HHHMNNN” You shriek out as best you can as Zoro’s now fully erect cock barrels into your throat. 

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do, asshole!” Sanji tried to protest but making you cum was exactly what he wanted, too. Sanji stood up and moved away from you briefly to remove his clothes. You whined around the dick in your mouth desperately, having your orgasm ripped away from you. 

“Awww my beautiful love, don’t worry I’ll give you what you want so badly.” Sanji cooed at you as he lined his cock up with your dripping hole. 

“Shut up and get inside her already!” Zoro barked at him. 

Already sliding inside of you, the feeling of your warm walls sucking him in, Sanji couldn’t come up with a response other than a loud moan. You groan around Zoro, pulling back for a second to catch some air. Sanji began thrusting inside of you.

“Oh fuck-! So good Sanji I-!” You moan out as drool dribbles down your chin. Before you can finish your praise, Zoro is stuffing himself back into your mouth. 

“Moss head, slow down! You’re gonna hurt her!” Sanji pants out as he pounds into your pussy. 

“She’s fine just look at her, she’s about to cum!” They both look down at your shaking form, eyes slammed tightly shut, tears streaming down your face. Your legs clamped so tightly around Sanji’s torso as they trembled. It was clear you were so close. 

“Gonna finish on those pretty tits, princess.” Zoro pulls out of your mouth to hover over your body and stroke his fat cock to completion. Just as the first hot rope hits your chest, your body tipped over the edge and you shrieked as you came, violently, on Sanji’s cock. Your torso jerked forward with the force of your orgasm. 

“So beautiful, my love, I’ll fill you up so good, ah-“ with a final declaration, Sanji spilled his load inside your pussy, grinding his hips into yours and whining. 

After a few moments of silence and heavy breathing, Sanji pulls out of you. 

“Ready for round 2, little slut?” You heard Zoro whisper in your ear. The low timbre of his voice sent fireworks straight to your sensitive cunt. 

“We worked out our issue. It took a lot of effort, so I think you owe us a bit more for dealing with our differences, my love.” Sanji moves out from between your legs to make room for Zoro. 

“Get me hard again.” Zoro barks down at you. You sit up and start to stroke his thick cock, soggy with your spit. 

“And me too, don’t forget about our date mon amour…” 

You were no longer thinking for yourself, your brain had stopped working long ago. You wanted to please both of them so badly, so happy that they had learned to share you so nicely. You lean forward and put Sanji’s sensitive dick into your mouth while you stroke Zoro with your hands. Zoro’s hand was on your throat as Sanji’s hand was tangled in your hair as your bobbed up and down on his oversensitive cock. After a few moments of “good fucking girl”s and “such a cute little slut”s, both of your men were hard again and ready to ruin you. Zoro pulled away first as he laid down on his back on your bed. 

“Sit on it.” Zoro commanded and you obliged. You pulled your wet mouth and tear stained face off of Sanji’s cock as you moved to sit on your swordsman’s thick length. You eagerly lined him up with your open, soaking hole.

“Stop.” Zoro stopped you. “Slow.” He grabbed your hips and guided your body onto him at a torturously slow pace. You let out a long moan as he slips you onto him inch by inch. 

“That’s my good girl, taking me so well. Look at your messy little pussy…” Zoro grabs your hair and makes you look down at the milky combination of your cum and Sanji’s cum leaking out all over his balls and pubes. “See what a filthy mess you’re making on me? Huh? And you still want more cock? What a little slut…” Zoro thrusts up into you and you gasp. 

“Be nice to her, moss head. She’s been such a nice play thing for us tonight. You can’t say one nice thing??” Sanji appears behind you, his chest pressed to your back as he begins to play with the plug in your ass. He slips it in and out of you, moving easily from the amount of lube you have shoved it in with earlier. You whine. 

“Nnnnnn Sanjiiii- Can I have it?” You wanted to feel both of them inside you at once. 

“Fine, curly, y/n has the most perfect holes I’ve ever had. So tight and warm, such a good toy.” Zoro smirked around you at his rival. Sanji ignored him. You feel the plug slip completely from your ass, you sigh at the emptiness. Briefly, Sanji spreads your cheeks as you lean forward onto Zoro’s chest. He could see where Zoro was buried deep inside your soaked cunt as well as your slightly gaping ass, lubed and open for him. 

Slowly Sanji presses his leaking tip into your puckered hole. 

“Sanji!” You yell out.

“Relax… I’m almost in… such a good job my love…”  Sanji whispers as he leans down to kiss your shoulder. “Hey idiot, rub her clit or her suck her nipples or something, She’s gonna loosen up more or else she’s gonna choke my dick in here.” 

“I don’t work for you…” Zoro grumbled as he took your left nipple between his teeth as he snaked his hand underneath you to rub at your engorged clit. 

“Ohhh, FUCK Zoro that’s so good-!” You moan out loudly, feeling your muscles spasm then relax. Then you felt Sanji plunge the rest of his length into your ass. 

“AAHh! FUCK!” You were so full, your head was spinning. Sanji’s thinner length buried deep in your asshole, Zoro’s thick cock bullying your g-spot inside your pussy, it was stimulation overload. Once both men were fully seated, there was some sort of unspoken communication between them and they started thrusting. 

You were screaming. The feeling was so intense, your body was going limp. Zoro held your body up with his strong arms while Sanji gripped your hips tightly with his smooth hands. 

“Holy.. Shit… Moss head, you.. you have to try this next time… It’s so fucking tight and hot…” Sanji desperately thrust his cock into your back hole as he chased his release, completely lost in pleasure. 

Zoro was too busy drilling up into your spent pussy, eyes locked on your face. Your eyes were rolled back and your mouth was completely open and slack. He couldn’t let curly brow cum inside you and not him too… He wanted you to cum again so you could milk him dry. He holds your body above him as you as were tossed back and forth on both of their cocks. 

You were being used as a fuck doll, essentially… and holy shit did it turn you on. Your body was so overstimulated but you felt the knot in your tummy begin to tighten again… 

“Sanji! Zoro! Shit, I’m-“ You squirted your release all over Zoro’s abdomen. Your body fell further forward as you began whimpering when your orgasm wore off. 

“Shit, it’s too tight… I’m going to-“ And with that, You felt the unique sensation of Sanji filling your ass with his hot seed. 

“Me too, fuck!” Zoro jams his hips up into yours and you cry out as he hits your cervix, feeling his throbbing tip deep inside as he fills you. 

You fully fell forwards towards Zoro, falling onto his face, nose pressed between your breasts. Sanji is still seated in your ass as he strokes your back and catches his breath. Eventually, your blonde pulls out, and your moss head picks you off his cock to lay you on your back in bed. 

Zoro spreads your legs. 

From how your hips were angled, the boys could see two loads of cum dripping our of your stretched pussy hole and one load dripping from your puckered asshole. Both men were mesmerized by the sight. 

“so… is someone going to clean me up… or?” You questioned while sitting up on your elbows. 

“I’LL DO IT” the two men shouted at once. They spent the next 5 minutes arguing over who was going to bath you and wash your body while you sat on the bed dripping. You flop back on the bed, realizing they’ll never get over their friendly competition. Oh well, you thought to yourself. If they fucked you like this every time they got jealous, you could get used to it. 

xx

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, how exactly was the Gotei 13 formed in AEIWAM?

(The original gotei-13 captains might have canon genders but I'm going off vibes tbh.) (Here's a collection of Kubo's art of the original 13 so you can see what everyone looks like)

-----

It had started with the Clans.

Actually, it had started when Shigekuni Yamamoto was mugged for the fourth time in as many days, by agents of The Great Noble Houses, trying to influence the tide of their endless petty wars. You could hardly blame him for reacting as he did, somewhat literally blowing up with rage, and upon his return to his home office, rallying his fellow distraught men into a fighting force to stand up to the clans.

It had been quite a popular manuver for him, with the equally distraught and downtrodden citizens of the central rukongai threw their support behind him in short order. He was already well-known to them, and respected for his work. In a few short years, his meager forces had grown to rival the clans in power.

Then the Quincies had invaded the Spirit World, lead by some horrible creature known as Yhwach, seemingly Hell-Bent on conquest- which is where all of them would end up if The Archery Bastards kept shooting everything that moved and upended the balance between the worlds.

Now-General Shigekuni Yamamoto, the unfortunate bastard to whom the task of defending the largest city in the Spirit world from invasion had fallen, needed some muscle.

Why me, of all people? Surely there were others more qualified? He wondered, staring at the latest round of reports from the meager handful of his men that remained. Or perhaps everyone smart enough to actually do this is also smart enough to realize it was a lost cause and had thrown their lot in with one of the Noble Houses, and I am on a fool's errand.

Even just a handful of warriors with sufficient strength could break the leading edge of the Quincy line, and let the small army that remained slip behind them in to cut the Quincies off from their supply lines. It was just that breaking the wall of archers required at least a dozen of him.

"Word from lieutenant Sasakibe!" Shouted one of his soldiers, sprinting in the door and thrusting a letter at him. "Sorry sir I just remembered how important it was that you heard from him as soon as possible."

"You did as I asked." Yamamoto nodded, opening the letter. He had needed to stay- both to recover from his injuries and because if the Quincy got much closer, using Ryujin jakka to create a wall of fire around the city might be the only way to hold them off- and he had tasked Chojiro Sasakibe, his Longest and Dearest friend, with finding him the strongest warriors in Soul Society.

He took the scroll and opened it, reading the neat but excitably slanted handwriting within-

Dearest Shigekuni,

I am relieved to report I have found a dozen extremely powerful warriors per your request! I went on a hunch a friend of mine had, and found a concentration of MANY powerful warriors that would be willing to aid our cause, but twelve among them are particularly standout candidates. Given the rapid advance of the Quincy Army, I have included a teleportation spell to their location at the end of this scroll so you may meet them immediately.

"Incredible!" Yamamoto laughed. "Is there nothing this man cannot do?"

I do beg of you though- Please, reserve your judgement of them until you have seen their capacity.

"Ah." Yamamoto sighed. "...of course there's a catch."

Their circumstances are... complex, and this has made many of them rough and peculiar to speak to, but I swear we will not find better warriors, at least not before the Quincy advance reaches Seireitei.

I await your arrival, Chojiro

Yamamoto unfurled the scroll a bit more to see the edge of the teleportation spell that would activate when exposed to sunlight. "Sir?" asked the young soldier.

"It seems Sasakibe was successful in finding me the assistance we need, but they are apparently a queer lot." Yamamoto rumbled, thinking. "There is a teleportation spell- How close did you say the Advance was?"

"Not more than a week out, sir."

"Hopefully less than two hours then." he grunted, standing up and carrying the scroll to the courtyard of the building he operated from- it was a place used to the many comings and goings of a large and complex organization, though the little Shrine to the God of Messages and messengers had been somewhat neglected of late. Yamamoto took a moment to sweep the leaves out of the shrine and bowed to the statue within, thanking it for delivering Sasakibe's message and asking for help delivering him to his friend.

"Any orders while you're away, Sir?" The soldier asked.

"Someone clean out that shrine and make it a proper offering. The last thing we need is for communications to go down." The General nodded.

"Yes Sir!" the soldier saluted.

Yamamoto unfurled the scroll and with a flash, vanished from the courtyard.

---

With the same flash, he appeared somewhere... foggy.

"Shigekuni?" a familiarly crisp voice asked somewhere in the ether.

"Chojiro?" Yamamoto called back, and the vague shape that might have been a rock in front of him stood up, arms open. He laughed, and embraced his friend. "Good job! How did you find them so fast?"

Sasakibe's warm smile suddenly stiffened into a grimace. "...Promise you will not be angry?"

"Chojiro?" Yamamoto frowned.

"See, I was asking my friends- only the most trusted of them, I swear- how to even go about finding warriors with everything scattered to the wind of late, and well- One of them suggested that only things that are powerful are widely feared, so look where fearsome things are to find powerful ones."

Yamamoto squinted at his friend, then around them at the dense fog, the strange rocky cliff beside them, and the distant sound of angry voices.

"Chojiro." Yamamoto asked, hands on his shoulders. "Where are we?"

Sasakibe pointed up behind Yamamoto where characters had been carved into the stone cliff.

The Nest Of Maggots

"Chojiro."

"Yes, sir?"

"This is a prison."

"Yes, sir."

"This is a prison for the kind of filth that even the most bitterly factious clans agree is a danger to have wandering around. The kind that they already tried and failed to weaponize against each other. This is a prison for Monsters."

"...Yes, sir." Sasakibe sighed. "-But, is is not monsters we need?"

Yamamoto was silent for a time, thinking of the swathes of pointless destruction- salted fields and burnt villages- of the senseless loss of life- slaughtering soldier and civilian alike down to the last man, woman and child- of the cruel and twisted powers of the chosen favorites of Yhwach.

"Monsters to fight monsters." He shook his head. "What is this world coming to?" Yamamoto sighed.

Sasakibe looked away, unable to meet his friend's gaze. "Still, beggars can't be choosers." Yamamoto nodded. "Show them to me."

--- All twelve "Most Dangerous" of The Nest's prisoners had been herded together into something approximating a straight line in the middle of the rocky cavern that housed the prisoners here, though some of them were already beginning to meander, and one woman near the end of the line had, rather rudely, decided to remain seated in Yamamoto's presence. The lineup was... less than impressive. Two of the women looked like they belonged on pinup posters rather than death row. One of the men looked like a washed-up Sumo, another like an ashtray that had been cursed to roam the afterlife as a human. On one end of the line was an ancient and decrepit old man, and on the other was a- Yamamoto wasn't actually sure if they were a man or a woman, but in another life, they had definitely been a cat.

"These are the most powerful fighters in the Spirit World?"  He muttered to Chojiro.

"These are the most still-alive-est fighters in the Spirit World." Chojiro clarified.

"...Fuck it. " Yamamoto sighed under his breath, before stepping forward and addressing them properly.

"I am General Shigekuni Yamamoto of The Seireitei. I don't know how long you've been in this hole-" Yamamoto paused, sensing that something was off.

None of the Prisoners were looking at him. In fact, the all seemed very dedicated to looking everywhere but at him. Some were inspecting the stalactites, others were examining the grit on the cave floor, or staring into the metaphysical abyss somewhere just over his shoulder, and one man had pulled his very silly straw hat down in front of his face.

"-Alright, what the hell is going on?" Yamamoto growled.

There was a general unenthusiastic sort of shuffling and a distinct lack of answers.

"Remember everyone!" The man next to the cat-in-human-form spoke up while examining his fingernails. He looked more like an accountant than someone who belonged on Death Row, but the others perked up and paid attention. "-We are not to speak to any guards of visitors until our representative arrives and has given us permission to do so." The others nodded and resumed looking anywhere but at Yamamoto.

"...Representative?" Sasakibe lightly growled at a guard, whose complexion went from 'ashen' to 'deathly'.

"They um. Well. They've gotten rather close to one of the other prisoners, but she's no good in a fight, so we left her-" The Guard sputtered under Sasakibe's withering glare.

"-Miss Tsubaki was waiting at the Primary gate last I saw her." continued the man who looked like an accountant and that Yamamoto was becoming increasingly sure was armed, despite allegedly having been searched and denied any tools in his confinement. "...I say to no-one in particular." He added.

There was a moment of silence.

Yamamoto struck the tired-looking, gray-haired young woman beside the accountant, sending her stumbling back, but the accountant and the sturdily-built blonde man beside her stepped in to catch her, the rest of the line snapping to attention, eyes fixed on him with utter rage.

"Now that I have your attention-" Yamamoto started again, the gray-haired woman coughing as the sturdy blonde helped her back to her feet. "-As I was saying, the Spirit World is being invaded, and you're all being conscripted to-"

"Yachiru!" Snapped a young woman behind them.

Yamamoto turned to glare at the interloper, but instead found that the gaunt-looking woman that had remained seated had somehow apparently teleported and tackled Sasakibe to the wall behind them, one arm pressed to his throat, slowly choking him. Apparently-Yachiru's other hand had put some substantial holes in his abdomen and she paused from where she was about to stark licking Sasakibe's blood off her fingers to look at who had spoken.

"Don't eat that! You don't know where it's been!" Said a waifish young woman in threadbare prisoner's robes who could not have been taller than 4'10". She was quite striking, with large, dark eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a long aquiline nose. She took Yachiru's bloodied hand and dragged her back to the group. Yamamoto tried to keep his pace even as he walked over to check on Sasakibe, who immediately sat up and waved him off.

"...Thirsty." Grunted Yachiru- She might also have been beautiful, with her pale, round face and smooth black hair, were it not for the haunted, carnivorous look in her eye and her apparently literal bloodthirst. She stopped halfway back to the group to give a wet, hacking cough that made Yamamoto's skin crawl, and spat out a gob of bloody phlegm on the floor.

"You'll feel better when you get Minazuki back." the young woman reassured her, helping Yachiru sit back down, the others taking seats on the stone floor as well, in two neat lines behind her, the Human Cat behind one shoulder, the Accountant behind the other. "Is everyone else alright?"

"Kinroku definitely did not tell the guards to go get you." announced the man from behind his straw hat. "Also the mean old man hit Chigiri."

"I understand. Do you need assistance, Chigiri?

"The Old Goat has a sucker-punch like a rocket but I'll live." grunted Chigri, rubbing her abdomen and waving her hand interrogatively at Yachiru, who shrugged in reply.

"Despicable Behavior, hitting a medic." the human ashtray sniffed disapprovingly. Yamamoto could feel the Reiatsu of the group now, previously held in check, now starting to unfurl and growl and snarl at him.

"You BASTARDS-!" Yamamoto snarled, lunging towards the young woman, who instinctively made a fist in front of her chest, grabbed it with her other hand, and swung her whole body around, slamming her elbow into his eye socket and nose, and he stumbled, falling to his knees. It wasn't that hard a hit, not compared to what he was used to, but there was genuine killing intent behind it, much like the heel she struck into the side of his head, knocking him over the rest of the way in surprise. Miss Tsubaki's large, dark eyes were full of rage as she glared down at him, grinding his head into the floor under her toes. "Ah." He said, finally recognizing her from images in the intermittent news bulletins. Tsubaki was a middle daughter of one of the most powerful of the Noble Houses who had suddenly vanished from public view the year before. The rumor was that she had been imprisoned by her father for dangerous activities like 'Going Places' and 'Writing Letters' or even 'Having Opinions'. It was apparently true, but if she'd managed to organize the dirtiest dozen of the Maggot's Nest, he was beginning to understand her father's choice of internment. "Miss Tsunayashiro, I presume."

"I am her, and I am here in my capacity as their Union Representative. This means you do not talk to them. You talk to me." She lightly snarled, removing her surprisingly sharp-heeled foot from his temple and sitting seiza in front of the group. "Now what is it that you have brought us here to discuss?"

"Your friends are getting conscripted." he glared, slowly getting up and standing to address her. Returning the blow to a civilan, no matter who her family was or how hard she hit, was beneath either of their dignity, but a little looming was alright.

"We're getting hired." She corrected him. "With proper contracts and compensation."

"Shut up or else." He snarled, reconsidering the value of his dignity.

"...Or else what, exactly?" She asked.

Yamamoto bristled, and slowly drew his sword. Tsunayashiro's gaze flicked to the blade, following it's gleam as he brought it up to her throat, tipping her chin up with the point. "-Or you will all die right here." Tsubaki closed her eyes, sighed deeply and opened them again, gaze fixed on his. He could feel her pulse through Ryujin Jakka's blade.

...Steady as a rock.

"Alright." She spoke evenly. "Strike me down."

Yamamoto blinked.

"We are already on Death Row, General." She explained slowly as though speaking to an idiot. "None of us have families to speak of, or to speak to, for you to threaten. We're already cold and barely allowed to sleep and starving and in constant pain from broken bones or missing organs or untreated injuries. We are all already doomed to die or suffer gross abasement. You, however-"

She slowly stood up, neck sliding a bit on Ryujin Jakka's blade, drawing a trickle of blood.

"-I've been in here for the better part of a year, I believe, but news trickles in. Guards leave to replace soldiers fallen on the battlefield. Rations dwindle as farmland is overrun or destroyed. Political prisoners are freed and returned home as more popular heirs and scions are killed. You, General Shigekuini Yamamoto, need help with this war, and need it badly, to come here for it." Tsubaki continued, stepping forward and pressing a bit more into the blade, the trickle running more strongly, down her throat and into the folds of her thin Yukakta, staining the fabric bright red.

"So go on. Strike us down." She spoke softly. "Spare us the Humiliation of a Public execution or the horrors of a lobotomy, and doom yourself."

Yamamoto, quite possibly for the first time in his life, hesitated.

"If you cannot do that, sit down and negotiate like a civilized person." She said. The blood stained her entire breast now, but she did not flinch or waver.

Slowly, glaring and refusing to break eye contact, he withdrew his blade, wiped it down and sheathed it. Teeth gritted and heart unexpectedly racing, he sat. Lady Tsunayashiro followed, head still held high, though that may have been so Chigiri could lean forward and press a pad of torn robe to her throat, stemming the bleeding as she bandaged it, muttering curses.

"We're being invaded by an army of mutant humans called "Quincy" who can shoot arrows made of pure reishi, which can obliterate a soul entirely. They're lead by some monster called Yhwach, who seems hell-bent on conquering the entirety of the Living and Spirit worlds, and is apparently capable of killing small gods and Kami." Yamamoto explained, trying to stress the depth of the situation. He'd never been in a labor negotiation before, and was hoping they'd be more reasonable if he made an emotional appeal. "Kill enough of the archery bastards and live, and I'll have all your crimes pardoned."

"What a shame, what a shame." clucked the old man at the far end of the lines. "You young people just don't know how to handle things..."

"Hmmm..." The person who was definitely at least spiritually a cat pursed their lips. "Oh, uh- Chika Shihon." the bowed their head. "-It's a good start, but I'm gonna need a hell of a payday, seeing as nobody will hire an ex-criminal, even a pardoned one, and about forty more people need to die before my family will consider taking me back in."

"As well as some form of protection from political reprisals, or there won't be an opportunity to spend any of that payday." said Kinroku the Accountant, rubbing his nose like he was going to push up a pair of glasses he wasn't wearing.

"Paying criminals? Surely, you can't be serious!" Sasakibe scoffed.

"I am serious, and my name is Tsubaki, not Shirley." The representative quietly smirked at him. "Well, General? What price are you willing to offer for the salvation of all of Soul Society?"

"I want to see some proof before we talk price." Yamamoto glared at the Death Row From The Dumpster before him.

"Fair enough." Nodded Tsubaki, turning her head to address the group. "After me, who would you all say is the weakest fighter?"

The group considered this for a moment.

"Strongest is easy, its Yachiru, even with the missing lung." waved the pinup girl with the eyepatch and pigtails.

"Give Uhin some credit!" Protested the other pinup girl with the tits that were individually larger than her head.

"That's sweet of you to say Batsu-" Uhin the Giant in the back row laughed, patting the second girl's head. "-But also holy shit, no. Yachiru could disembowel me and strangle me with my own intestines before I could get off the mark! No offense little man, but I think it's Furuoki." He said, patting the straw hat of the man in front of him.

"Really?" Tits McGee pondered. "I was going to say Nobutsuna."

"I was gonna say me too." announced the human ashtray with a rough and reedy voice. "I hate fighting." "Yeah, but you hit like a fuckin' rockslide. Yeah, it's Furuoki." Agreed eyepatch.

"Mr. Otogawa-" Tsubaki addressed Furuoki the hat man. "-It's rather dark in here, would you please let in some light?"

Furuoki blinked at her, confused.

"Show the old man you can punch a hole in the ceiling." Yachiru translated for him, wetly.

"Okay!" Furuoki chirped happily, getting up and walking a few feet away.

"MORE!" yelled the group.

"Over by the guard tower!" Encouraged the large and rather jolly looking man, save for how he seemed to have lost both his lips and most of the front of his mouth, but had only bothered to replace his missing teeth with gold ones, giving him a permanent lipless grin.

Furuoki walked over towards the guard tower until the guards approached him and told him to back up, paced a bit until he found a suitable middle ground, and squinted up at the ceiling.

"Sir-" Sighed the head guard walking towards Furuoki as frowned at the ceiling. "Sir that's half a mile of solid rock and twelve different magical wards above you. It's not gonna work."

Furuoki instead dropped down on one knee, aimed, and-

A dazzling blue-green light and a noise like the roaring fires of Hell Itself erupted from his fist as he punched up towards the ceiling, vaporizing the stone above him and making all 12 wards chime and tinkle like glass as he broke through them. As the mushroom cloud of dust dispersed, sunlight began to filter in through the hole, at least 100 feet in diameter. The top third of the Guard tower seemed to have evaporated as well, and the guards were scrambling to try to control the panic.

"Is that enough?" Furuoki called.

"...Is it, General?" miss Tsubaki asked.

"...Ten Thousand Kan?" Yamamoto tried.

"That's fine dear, please come sit back down." Tsubaki waved.

"I am surprised, general." She smiled at Yamamoto in a way that reminded him uncomfortably of they way the post office cat would smile at the mice. "Ten Thousand Kan annually per individual is a very reasonable offer."

"A one-time payment of Ten thousand Kan to be split between the group." he growled.

"No." She shook he head. "You're offering us annual salaries, individually."

"The hell I am."

"Then we will enjoy watching the collapse of civilization through the new Skylight Furuoki made us." She replied, unconcerned. "You may have noticed, General, that there is a war on, and this is an exceptionally safe and secure place to be. Make it worth leaving."

"-Two minutes ago this was a frozen hellhole you were all starving in." he glared.

"Ah, but the view and property value has improved substantially in the last two minutes!" She smiled, unconcerned with his complaints. "There is no punishment you could mete out that is worse than remaining here, General, but you are not an advancing army of superhuman mutants, and there are MANY things the Quincy can do to us that are worse than remaining here. You are in a most unenviable position."

Yamamoto grimaced. "You're sure this is the best there is?" he muttered to Sasakibe.

"We could also try swearing loyalty to one noble house and hoping the other four don't try to kill us before the Quincy do." Sasakibe grunted, hand over the puncture wounds in his guts. "I don't like it either. but I like our other options even less."

Yamamoto sighed. "...Five thousand Kan Annually per individual."

"Ten thousand." replied Tsubaki.

"Seven thousand."

"Ten thousand."

"That's not how this is supposed to go." Yamamoto grumbled.

"And yet, this is how it's going." She smirked. "There is also the matter of the political protections!"

"DAMMIT!"

---

Half an hour later, terms had been reached.

Full pardons, Ten Thousand Kan, annually per individual (plus expenses), and political protections in the form of employing them as commanding officers on the condition that they "-Don't get killed, and prove you're smarter than a sack of hammers and at least half as useful."

"No for real, I'll forgive the old man the gut punch, lemme do something so you're not bleedin' all over my contract?" Chigiri sighed, watching Sasakibe write up the contracts.

"I'll trust my body to keep my guts on the right side of my skin over someone's dirty socks." he sighed. "Or do you have something else on hand?"

"Minazuki." Muttered Yachiru, leaning heavily on Chigiri.

"Oh right! I keep forgetting she does the fish thing." Chigiri perked up. "Yeah tell the guards to go get her sword, it turns into a... fuckin' whatsit, the big flat fish? Turns into one of those that can heal anything."

"Again, I trust my own faculties over any sort of Healing Halibut." Chojiro groaned.

"Stingray." Yachiru muttered, wheezing a bit. "Minazuki is a stingray."

"Alright, back in line everyone- I need you all to confirm your identities and what crimes you need pardoned, and to sign your contracts." Sasakibe sighed, standing up with the contracts and handing the first to Yamamoto.

"Shigekuni Yamamoto, Dereliction of duty and Mail-tampering, among other assorted sins." He said, smirking a bit at his own joke as he took the contract.

"Thank you sir." Sasakibe sighed, shuffling the pile of folders containing the files of the dozen criminals, and stepping up to the first one.

"Chika Shihon-" He read off, matching the drawn portrait to the person in front of him- Chika was a rather handsome young thing, with warm bronze skin and short, soft white hair. It was the gleam in their yellow eyes that made Sasakibe worry. "- Sentenced to lifetime imprisonment or death for staging a clan coup, twelve counts of fratricide and... dabbling in forbidden Kido?"

"Oh, like you've never had a family dinner that got out of control!" Chika huffed, indignant.

"I'm more curious about the Kido, actually." Yamamoto said, peering over his file.

Chika beamed and Sasakibe got as far as a choked "NOT HERE-!" before they vanished in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, they were still wearing the same excited expression, but now as a small white house cat.

Sasakibe and Yamamoto stared at the cat for a moment, then at each other in a mutual expression of I can't believe we've been reduced to asking these freaks for help.

"Well, when you've got thumbs again, please read your contract, then sign and initial all the indicated areas, and swipe your blood across the bottom." Sasakibe sighed, bending over to hand the kitty their contract. "Remember, these contracts are legally and magically binding. Betray us, and die immediately."

"Next is- Kinroku Izuhara-" Sasakibe was interrupted by one of guards appearing with the confiscated personal belongings of the prisoners, including an entire bundle of swords under his arm.

"I understand not giving us our weapons until the contracts are signed and the seal is placed upon us, but may I have my glasses back?" Kinroku asked, voice crisp and arch. He was certainly the least ragged-looking of the group, his graying hair still neatly trimmed and face clean-shaven.

Yamamoto held out a hand and the guard placed the appropriate glasses in his palm. "Trade you for whatever you have that's kept you so clean-shaven it's making my mustache itch." Yamamoto glared.

Kinroku smirked, and produced a piece of bone that had been exquisitely sharpened into a razor's edge.

"This is a human bone." Yamamoto observed.

"Unfortunately, poorer quality than the bones of pigs or cattle in terms of holding an edge, but it's done it's job." Kinrku nodded.

"...This says you're on death row for ...Tax Evasion?" Sasakibe glared at the file as the blade was traded for the glasses.

"Yes. I made an unfortunate miscalculation regarding the loyalty of my men, so I am glad you are taking adequate precautions." Kinroku muttered, cleaning his glasses on his robe, holding them up to the dim sunlight filtering through the hole, and frowning, disappointed.

"Men?" Yamamoto asked. "You've had experience commanding armed forces before?"

"After a fashion." he said, signing the contract and biting into his thumb to finish the deal. "You've heard of The Vipers of the southern reaches?"

"The decentralized bandit gang that disbanded a few years back? I thought their leader had died?" Sasakibe frowned.

Kinroku smirked at him.

"...Oh, for fuckssake." Sasakibe groaned.

"Chigiri Shijima." Yamamoto read off, having already moved on. "...What the hell kind of charge is Aggravated Medical Research?"

"Can't make an emergency field medicine manual omlette without breaking a few bones. And causing a few disembowelments. And poking out a few eyes." She explained.

Yamamoto slowly arched an eyebrow at her.

"I PUT 'EM ALL BACK!" Chigiri protested. "...Eventually."

"Read. Sign. Blood." Yamamoto sighed, handing her the contract.

"For real though, your man okay? I can have those stitched in under a minute." Chigiri pointed her thumb at Sasakibe.

"That's some fast-acting painkillers." Sasakibe noted.

"What painkillers?" Chigiri asked, genuinely confused.

"...I'll take my chances with the halibut." Sasakibe winced, turning to the next man in line. "Danjiro Obana?"

"Yeah!" Grinned the sturdy-looking blonde man, all smiles and friendliness now that an agreement had been reached. "Lookin' forward to workin' with you guys!"

"...Imprisoned for cannibalism?" Sasakibe asked, horrified.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Danjiro hollered, voice echoing around the cavern.

"How do you accidentally consume human flesh?" Yamamoto glared.

"Well- okay it wasn't an 'accident' per se, but look, that Ise Clan guy locked me in the family mausoleum to die, and understandably, I got the munches, and the coffins were fulla, eh... post-sapient jerky?" Danjiro explained. "I really don't know what he expected to happen. Really surprised when he opened up the door a month later and I gut punched his spine out though. I don't regret that one bit."

"You know? That's fair." decided Sasakibe, handing him a contract. "Read, sign, blood."

"Yessir!" Danjiro saluted happily.

"Furufoshi Saito?" Yamamoto asked the young woman with the purple pigtails and eyepatch that was next in line.

"I DID NOT 'KIDNAP' HIM, HE'S MY HUSBAND AND THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF PRICKS!" She roared.

Yamamoto blinked at her, then leaned over to read "Accused of Abducting and 'Deflowering' the eldest son of the Kuchiki clan' on her file. "...Care to elaborate on that?"

"I found poor Kyoga-kun half-dead on my doortstep after the battle of River Bo- he still had spears in him, the poor thing! So like a sane and reasonable person I took him in and nursed the sweet thing back to heath and- well, a beautiful man in my bed, grateful to me for saving his life and offering me his eternal love and gratitude- How could a girl resist?" She sighed, hearts in her remaining eye.

"-and since I'd carried him over the threshold into my home we were basically married already, so it wasn't wrong of me to ride him like a pony or violate his warranty like that! He loved it! He loves ME! AND I LOVE HIM! It's just that the rest of the Kuchiki clan are a bunch of snobs with no sense of romance." She sighed, melancholy, then looked up at him, chewing her lip in nervousness. "...You haven't. heard anything about him?"

Yamamoto considered her story, and the few times he'd met Kyoga Kuchiki- a delicate young man with a sense of romantic grandeur and when he'd seen the boy recently, he had been lying facedown on the floor and sobbing, in quite some distress over being separated from his beloved-

"...Daddy Bear?" Yamamoto asked, bewildered.

"MY LITTLE BABY BEAR REMEMBERS ME!" She shrieked with joy, "Is he alright? I've been so worried, he still wasn't over that septic infection and the war keeps getting closer-" She demanded, grabbing Yamamoto by his Kosode and shaking him for answers.

"-As of last month, he was distraught over your absence, but otherwise hale. The sooner the Quincy are dead, the sooner you can see him again. Read, sign, blood." Yamamoto said, detangling himself from her and putting the contract between them.

"Ah, Ever-turbulent but true runs the course of Love." sighed the charred man beside her. "Nobotsuna Shigyo, at your service." he introduced himself, bowing politely.

"I'm Batsu'unsai Katori- We were arrested and imprisoned for roughly the same incident and it may help to be introduced at the same time." Said the woman with the exceptionally large breasts beside him. "Um, I'll need my glasses back too- Oh, thank you!"

"The sight of sunlight is so strange after such time." Mused Nobotsuna. "Even before our imprisonment, the Lady Katori and I were leaders of a secret underground society!"

"It was less of a society and more of a Polycule that got out of control-" Explained Batsu'unsai. "Once I discovered by spiritual powers, I moved in with the great sage Shou Dokutsu, and began hanging out with and then dating other people with spiritual powers and they started bringing their partners to my district and pretty soon there were so many of us that the easiest way to house everyone was to start developing the extensive underground cave systems in the area."

"We manufactured many fine magical artifacts, so called ourselves The Under-Wares!" Said Nobotsuna.

"We actually called ourselves The Kido Union, because in addition to the magical tools, we formed a united labor front to keep the clans from exploiting us." She explained, and Yamamoto began to understand her interruption.

"I am the wise Loremaster of our people!" Said Nobutsuna.

"He's a stablehand." Batsu'unsai smiled.

"But the clans did not like that they were no longer able to exploit and abuse us now that we had allied in great numbers, and war came to our peaceful nation of Shou's Hole!" he said, with genuine sadness.

Yamamoto and Sasakibe looked back at Batsu'unsai.

"It actually is called Shou's Hole." she sighed. "He just wanted it so badly."

"I wore them down!" Notbotsuna grinned.

"Still, the clans did not like that they now had to pay to have magical labor done and that we would outright refuse their more barbaric requests, and eventually I think it was the Shibas that mounted an all-out assault on us. Last I heard, most of the Union made it out through the other exits from the caves, but Dokutsu-san and most of our heavy hitters stayed at the primary entrance to buy time. Nobotsuna and I were the only ones to survive the assault, and Hiraku Shiba had us thrown in here." Batsu'unsai sighed.

"Prick." Spat Nobotsuna. "Oh sure, when a head of one of the so-called 'Noble' houses goes around decapitating people and burning them alive it's considered 'honorable combat' and 'keeping the peace', but when I, a man whose family tree isn't a fucking wreath of incest, retaliates in a decidedly less lethal fashion suddenly its 'treason' and 'making up a spell called Penis Blast is a war crime'!!"

"-What kind of blast?" asked Sasakibe.

"He can demonstrate it for us on The Archery Bastards. Read, sign, blood." Yamamoto said, thrusting contracts at them.

"Entetsu Kumoi." Read off Sasakibe as they came to the bald man who was nearly as wide as he was tall, with the exposed gold teeth. Entetsu looked up from where he'd finished putting his glasses back on and arranged his hairless brows into something that indicated that he'd be smiling politely if he had lips. "Imprisoned for your participation in the riot at the Windroad House, where you..." Sasakibe frowned at the file. "-Attacked and killed one hudred fifty-seven town guards with a brick, and mounted an assault on the local Dyamo?"

"Always morally correct, hittin' cops with bricks." Nodded Entetsu. "-Specially ones comin' t' kill just because some people are out havin' a good time, doin' no harm to no-one."

"The Windroad House is a Bar in the 3rd district famous for it's ah. Exotic. Cabaret performances." Sasakibe explained to Yamamoto, who didn't get out much.

"You were. At one of these performances?' Yamamoto asked.

"Ah, nah- just gotten off the job and had nipped down to the pub across th'way for a pint when I saw the pigs kick in the door an' start dragggin' the ladies out and I thought 'well that ain't right', so I started throwin' bricks until I were on me last brick and then I hunted them down wit' that last brick until there were none left." he explained. "Then I thinks, 'well, there's only none left until more come from the station', so's I made me way up the road to the station wit' me brick and had me a little hogslaughter up there too, see?"

"...And you just. kept going?" Sasakiba asked.

"So's I did! Right up to the head hog's trough, though by then it were well early in the mornin' and I were tired an' had some dozen spears in me back and me brick had fallen apart, so's I dinna get hims haunches fer ham." Entetsu sighed.

"Persistence! Very good quality in a captain!" Grinned Yamamoto, handing him the contract. "You know what to do by now."

They turned to the rather comely young man with the straw hat. "Furuoki, was it?" Yamamoto asked, feeling something that wasn't hopeful, per se, but these were strong people, and deeply insane and they were agreeing to help him, something that made his heart race with a delirious sort of mania.

"Yes. I am Furuoki Otogawa." he nodded.

"-And you're imprisoned here for- ecological terrorism, defiling holy a holy site and creating a dangerous magical device?" Sasakibe asked.

"What?" asked Yachiru, getting back to her feet and leaning heavily on him. "You told me you were in here for Jaywalking?"

"I thought I was?" Said Furuoki, frowning and tipping his head with confusion.

"It says here you constructed a device over the Tenjo no Ganbo waterfalls to, ah- 'suck up the carp in the pool at the base of the waterfall and launch them, at speed, up and over the waterfall'." Sasakibe read off and looked up to see Furuoki staring into the distance, eyes watering.

"They wanted to get to the lake at the top so badly they were swimming up the waterfall, but they kept falling down and getting hurt!" he sobbed, overcome with emotion. "I just made a chute to safely carry them to the top and gently toss them in the lake! how is that a crime?"

"-because when a carp makes it to the top of Tenjo no Ganbo falls, IT TURNS INTO A DRAGON! YOU MADE HUNDREDS OF DRAGONS SUDDENLY APPEAR! THOUSANDS BEFORE THEY COULD DISMANTLE THE DAMN THING!!" Sasakibe shouted.

"Ohhh." Furuoki said, nodding. "-I'd wondered where all the dragons had come from. I still don't see why that's a crime though?"

"Gods help us." Groaned Yamamoto.

"Dragons tend to be. Kinda destructive." Yachiru spoke slowly, her voice still rough and hollow-sounding. " 'specially to little villages."

"Oh." Furuoki said quietly, horrified.

"Don't worry, I'll deal with them once I get my lung back and bust outta this joint." Yachiru reassured him as Sasakibe handed Furuoki his contract.

"You wont be 'busting out' of anywhere, miss-" Sasakibe suffled the papers to open her file. "-Yachiru Unohana! You're obligated to serve General Yamamoto in exchange for your freedom, seeing as you're imprisoned for- for-"

Sasakibe froze, staring at the file. "-That has to be a Mistake."

"What?" Grunted Yamamoto, sizing the woman up. According to the group, if Furuoki who could rip this heavily fortified prison open like an ant's nest was their weakest fighter, this sickly-looking woman was their strongest.

"The file says she's imprisoned for killing ten thousand people!" babbled Sasakibe.

"Oh, no, that isn't right." grunted Yachiru, and Sasakibe sighed with relief.

"-Should be closer to twelve or fifteen thousand." She clarified, and Sasakibe went white.

"Read, sign, mark with your blood at the bottom." Yamamoto sighed, thrusting the contract at her.

"Uhhh... can't." She said, staring blankly at the contract, then slowly looking up at Yamamoto.

"What do you mean 'can't'?"  he growled.

"I can't read." she said.

Sasakibe hid his face in his hands, groaning with pain, while Yamamoto turned on his heel and threw his hands in the air, silently beseeching any available Gods for help.

"You get what you pay for, General." Called Chika, having changed back into the clothes they'd arrived in- garish red-orange and black ninja garb of the Shihon clan- and tying their sword back onto their gaudy belt.

"I am paying all of you a frankly OBSCENE amount of money, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect basic literacy!" Yamamoto snapped.

"It's okay girl, I'll read it to you and then you can have Minazuki back, okay?" Chigiri volunteered, wrapping an arm around her illiterate compatriot and walking her back to some seat-height rocks.

"Let's just get this over with." Yamamoto sighed, glaring at Tsubaki, who only smiled serenely back at him. "Uhin Zenjoji?"

"Present, sir." Beamed the enormous man who looked like a professional Sumo wrestler- there was fat, lots of it, but underneath, an unsettlingly steady grace and power to his movements.

"Your file says you're imprisoned for Smuggling, Murder, Bootlegging, Murder, Trafficking, Murder, More murder and... one hundred seventy two violations of The Migratory Bird Act?"

"The only two I will dispute are the trafficking and migratory bird charges-" he said, delicately holding up two fingers. "-firstly, it's not trafficking to move refugees from the clan wars out of danger without giving the aforementioned clans a cut. I'm no pimp."

"And the birds?" Yamamoto glared, intrigued more than anything.

"A man may have his hobbies and his charitable works!" Uhin said, touching his hand to his chest in faux-impassioned speech. "I collect and breed rare and endangered birds- the world would a sadder place without their songs. So I have- well, had- an aviary up in the mountains where they could be propagated in peace." Uhin sighed.

"Huh. Something nearly bordering on sanity." said Sasakibe said, offering Uhin his contract.

"Got any of them- whatsit- the big kicky bitches?" Danjiro asked.

"Cassowaries?" Uhin asked. "But of course! Delightful little creatures."

Yamamoto decided he didn't hear that, actually, and turned his attention to the final member of the dirty dozen.

"Hello young man!" the decrepit old man creaked cheerfully. "I am Saizo Sakahone." he was bald, liver-spotted, missing teeth and had a spine that bowed like a fishing rod with something much too large for the boat on the end of the line.

"Sakahone like the province?" asked Yamamoto, remembering the western area he'd traveled through recently.

"...In a manner of speaking, I suppose?" Saizo grinned. "Though it's rather the other way around- my lovely wife, may she rest in peace, managed to bear me no less than sixteen beautiful daughters, and they bore at least a dozen granddaughters and so on- Why, by my one thousand one hundred and eleventy-eth birthday, I had somewhere over fifty thousand descendants! So I am not so much named after the province, as the province is named after me!" he chucked.

"...by the Gods." marveled Sasakibe.

"Look, I love my sword too but at least I take it out of the scabbard sometimes." sighed Yamamoto. "What're you in for, family man?"

"O-ho! Now that was quite rash of me, I'm afraid. Yes-" Saizo nodded, rubbing his gnarled-oak hands. "-but as you say, I am a family man and there is nothing I despise so much as someone who does violence to children. No, no, nothing more vile in the world than that..."

Yamamoto felt Sasakibe go stiff beside him, and glanced over. Sasakibe tipped the file closer for his friend to read.

"-The total annihilation of the Uchimaki clan?" Yamamoto asked.

"I was born a shepherd, my boy. My people have been herding cattle over the hills of my province since there were cattle and hills to herd them over. When rot and madness like that turns up in a line- you need to cull backwards at least three generations or it'll set root and spread through your whole herd." he sighed. "What a shame, what a shame, but it had to be done, or they would have learned to turn a profit, treating children like that, and then we'd never be rid of it."

"I saw the crater. Half a mile deep and three times as wide." Said Yamamoto, mustache trembling. "I thought the wrath of the Gods themselves had descended upon them."

"Hm." Saizo nodded, jaw trembling a bit with palsy. "Hm, yes. That's what it felt like."

"Would you like to feel it again?" Yamamoto asked.

"No." Saizo shook his head, but slowly straightened up as much as he could- he must have been close to seven feet tall before the scoliosis set in- flexing his hands and rolling his neck, the power held withing that body starting to come off him in shimmering golden steam. "-but if that's what it takes for me to go home again, then I will be the tool of the Gods once more."

Yamamoto offered him the contract, and did not need to give him instructions.

Behind them, there was a quiet but extremely invasive wet noise and Yamamoto turned to see Unohana unsheath her... well, it lived in a scabbard but it was a muddy green and unusually gooey for a sword. Minazuki bubbled forth from her scabbard, trilling faintly as she solidified and formed into a mottled green cyclopean stingray, large enough to swallow a man, nuzzling at her human affectionately.

"Huh. She does seem to have an exceptionally intimate bond with her Zanpaktou..." Sasakibe noted, then flinched as Minazuki's mouth opened to reveal a fleshy interior of writhing tentacles and strange glands. Without hesitation, Unohana shed her prisoner's robe, which was apparently the and stepped inside to be swallowed with a sigh of relief.

"Very intimate!" grinned Chigiri at Sasakibe's shoulder. "My offer to stitch you up is still on the table, unless you want to develop a similarly intimate relationship with a fish."

"Never did care for seafood..." Sasakibe muttered.

"What about Tsubaki-san?" Furofushi frowned. "Where's her contract?"

"I came here for fighters." Yamamoto shook his head, turning to Tsubaki. "But you are right that The Maggot's Nest is a secure fortress in it's own right. The war is no place for a pri-"

He stopped, staring. Tsubaki had sat down and was rubbing her feet, fingers laced between her toes. She glanced up at him, then down at her feet, smirked, and sat back, wiggling her toes. "No, I agree, the front is no place for a Princess, but it is very much a place for a Diplomat, isn't it?" she asked.

Yamamoto blinked. "I have been thoroughly disinherited from any political position I may have inherited, so I am no princess." She explained, rolling her ankle with a smirk. "-and you are, if I may make an estimation based on my training as a Lady Of Society and now that all of our contracts are signed and bonded, terrible at negotiations."

Yamamoto shook himself, trying to pretend he hadn't been staring at her arches. "...I thought it went fine? Nobody lost a hand."

She smiled, and walked up beside him, lacing her arm with his and gently patting his hand. "My dear. If bookies had been allowed to lay bets on this encounter, the odds of me losing my head would have been considered a sure thing, and the odds on my being able to convince you to properly hire us and pay us, I agree, an 'obscene' amount of money so slim that anyone who took my side would now be a very rich idiot."

Yamamoto squinted at her, trying to translate that in his head.

"...You've conned me." He glared.

"Quite badly, I'm afraid." She smiled.

"You've conned me, but you can con say, that idiot that runs the Omeda clan or the obnoxious boy with the cock's comb that follows Yhwach around even worse." He tried.

Miss Tsubaki smiled, and laced her fingers with his.

"I'm going to have someone much smarter than me write up your contract." he nodded. "Sasakibe? Can you get us home in a-"

Yamamoto turned to see his friend, standing with his robe open while Chigiri knelt before him. Yamamoto blinked in bewilderment, and then realized the woman was stitching his wounds up at speed, her face close to his navel to focus on her work.

"...Hurry?" Yamamoto asked.

"Boss if I go any faster I'm gonna sew his bellybutton shut." Chirigi replied, not looking up.

"She is almost done, sir." Sasakibe winced. "Please don't interrupt her work?"

--- It took a good half hour to get everyone together to leave- clothes changed, signed out of the Maggot's nest and their custody turned over to Yamamoto, Nobotsuna trying to smuggle his "pet" Salamander out, several other prisoners saying tearful goodbyes to Tsubaki and her taking their information down 'for later', Minazuki trying to eat the salamander, and further mayhem while Sasakibe finished drawing the teleportation circle but soon they were lined up, and as the spell activated, Tsubaki gripped Yamamoto's arm rather firmly.

But in a flash, they were returned to Headquarters, Tsubaki blinking from the bright sun.

"General!" the soldier saluted. "Good to see you again! No news from the front, but we have received word the Shihon clan has made an alliance with the Fon clan as the advance approaches their homeland."

"HAH!" Shouted Chika. "Either cousin Genki pulled his head out of his ass or whatever cousin they're on now has good taste! Mingyan is a BABE and a half."

"Nice digs, very nice." Nodded Danjiro, looking around the courtyard. "...Looks really familiar for some reason. Never been to Seireitei, but I swear I've been in a building just like this?"

The other criminals looked around the courtyard, frowning and muttering about how it DID look familiar, and not at all like barracks.

There was a distressing hurgling sort of noise behind them and Minazuki spat out Yachiru Unohana, who tumbled out, nude and covered in slime. She rolled to the foot of the shrine, and sat up, blinking at the statue inside.

"Hey-" She called, voice still low and a rough but the hollow wetness had gone. "-Why's the military got a shrine to Yatagarasu?"

The others looked at the shrine and then around the building again. The orderly layout, the way the men were fit and professional but not precisely military, the extensive filing and sorting system visible through the open doors, Yamamoto's confession to Mail-tampering, the shrine to the Messenger of the Gods...

"You know, I did think it was rather strange that you were able to rally a small but apparently quite fast and very loyal army without the aid of any major clans." Tsubaki sighed. "How very industrious of you, Postmaster-General Yamamoto!"

[kevindavidday]

ok but imagine:

Even if it takes her a little time to come to terms with the fact that Kevin is Wymack's son, Dan soon takes up the role of being the annoying older sister. For the remaining year she lords over Kevin not just as the captain but also as his Elder sister in spirit and it pisses Kevin off soooooo much (Matt also participates by calling himself Kevin's brother in law and then blushes when Dan looks™ at him)

But like definitely one day in some game some dickhead is going to say some shit about Dan and Kevin is gonna punch him saying 'Watch what you're saying about my sister, asshole' and everyone is going to be like 🫠🫠🫠

Wymack in tbe distance is going to be simultaneously cringing and proud

wymack is never not cringing around the foxes this is real and true

also, absolutely yes the trio of wymacks main kids from oldest to youngest is: dan, kevin and neil

dan has every right to bully kevin within an inch of his life - thinking of that time she got him started on a convo about exy and he was like ykw i'm gonna sit with her and then neil ditched them for andrew...it was like?? why would you do that to our bonding time neil???

kevin as a middle child makes sense tbh, and neil kevin as over protective younger brother figures only to end up backing away cuz dan's the one standing over them as the overprotective older sister. tbh this dynamic makes all their scenes ten times funnier: neil saying 'dan, i said please i tried to be nice' and smacking kevin at the back of his head, and the constant yapping...yeah i get it

i think kevin and dan have a lot of potential for growth + dan would love amalia i just know it and i already know she's neil's favorite so there's definitely some bias there lol

[nin-jay-go]

for morrotober i posted a pirate au thing, and like 2 ppl were interested in it, but then i didn't think about it for a while KJSHFKJKJH but uhhh yea i have a full fledged treasure planet au because i can't keep away from funky alien stuff

here's the crew! minus wu bc he didn't fit into the scene but he's here in spirit lol (he's the captain) he can be taking the photo

brief synopsis before i go ramble under the cut: kai, cole, jay, and zane all met when they stole the golden tech-weapons from a museum, then when the weapons called them all to each other again, they formed a crew to take down garmadon and then just do general space pirate stuff. they're only considered pirates bc they do slightly illegal stuff in the name of good, but everyone hails them as heroes (except the actually bad pirate crews they dismantle)

anywayz feel free to send in asks because OH MY GOD IVE PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO WORLDBUILDING

vwoop here i go

kai, nya, and cole are humans. well, cole was human but i'll get to him later. this is a universe where humans are space orcs, so they're referred to as deathworlders more often than not. jay's an alien, raised on earth, and lloyd is half alien, raised on a moon colony. zane and pixal are automatons, though built on different planets, so their technology is a bit different. wu is fully alien and the same species lloyd is.

speaking of which, wu and lloyd are the captains. wu is the actual captain, and lloyd is the captain that they show off. he has a cool mech suit that hides the fact that he's a child (bc i didn't age him up). they're a species known as dragoni, ancient beings of creation and destruction that have witnessed the birth of the universe. wu hides his status as a dragoni from the public, and lloyd hasn't quite learned how to shapeshift his dragoni traits away.

nya's the first mate because she makes good decisions and also has a mech suit, and she's absolutely terrifying. people are right to fear her, and most of the time are more afraid of her than they are of the actual captain.

kai's the fighter and crew big brother. he's always the one to make sure everyone's safe and accounted for, and he's the one that takes the longest watches (other than the automatons and cole). he's also, alongside wu, in charge of finances, and can handle weapons in a pinch. he kinda does anything he wants on the ship tbh

zane's the cook and sniper. he likes ranged weapons and is pretty adept with guns, so he likes hanging out in the crow's nest to keep an eye out for things. he's also the only one who can cook, so they trust him to make good food.

jay's the engineer and shipwright. he's a species known as a lectrite, which have an innate sense for when lightnign's about to hit. he also can tell when storms are coming, so he helps pixal with navigation if they see a storm on the horizon.

cole's the muscle and helmsman. he's an infected ghost (because the ghost species pass on the "curse" through infection), used to be human, and the strongest member of the crew. he doesn't really need his legs anymore, so all his strength is in his arms now.

pixal is the navigator and other helmsman, when cole isn't available. she's also one of the best fighters on board, and is unafraid to kick ass. she might as well be the second mate at this point, because she kicks just. so much ass. she's so cool. she also assists with shipwrighting stuff with jay.

[riderofblackdragons]

Was It Something I Said (to make you feel like you're a burden)

Day 15: Childhood Trauma | painful hug | moment of clarity | "I did good, right?"

So fun fact, I've actually had this one written out for a while. I just prefer posting on or after the day of the prompt tbh. I enjoyed writing it, and I like rereading it too tbh. Outsider POV is always fun to write :)

This is part of the Commander to Firelord Pipeline AU

If there's any AUs in particular anyone wants me to do, I do take requests lol

Hope you enjoy!

"…There is nothing I could do to make him proud, is there?"

Mai turned at the low whisper, in time to watch as a single tear slid down Azula's cheek. It was pretty, in a way, although out of place, catching the fading light as the sun set on the city below them. The trust was evident in this weakness, this crack Azula was letting Mai see, trusting her not to gouge into it.

Yet the beauty present didn't quite match with the devestation on Azula's face. More tears slipped out, silently dripping down, as Mai took her time to answer the question. Azula's trust was an honour to be given, she knew. Enough of an honour that Mai wasn't going to break it by hastily saying something she didn't really believe.

"I mean, I did so much for him. I sacrificed EVERYTHING! My health, my life… I threw away my brothers' trust, just for him!" Azula started ranting as Mai continued to not speak up. "I was perfect! I am the perfect commander to lead us all to victory!

"He couldn't ever see that though, could he?" Her voice lowered to a whisper again. "If I do anything wrong… Make a single mistake… He's just going to throw me away, isn't he? Or let me get killed?

"To him… I'm nothing. Just a good tool to be used and tossed when it doesn't work anymore,"

Azula sounded lost, and afraid. Like the young girl her appearance porttrayed her as, hiding the quick wit Mai knew she held within. It was such a stark contrast to how Azula usually was: calm, poised, and in control, with a poker face the spirits themselves would be envious of, with the only emotion being what Azula wanted to be shown.

But she was just a child, Mai was forcefully reminded. They both were, really. And right now, Azula wasn't the Princess of the Fire Nation. She was just a lost little girl, desperately wanting to be lied to. To be told that really, it would all be okay. That no, she was imaging things, her father did love her, that it wasn't her fault that her mother left.

But Mai wasn't that kind of person. She was blunt, and she didn't hide from the truth. If Azula had wanted reassurances and lies, she would have gone to Ty Lee, or some other person she still trusted, instead. She wouldn't have sought out Mai, brought her up to the roof of the Earth King's Palace, to have this conversation.

And wasn't that indication enough? Azula wasn't wanting the sweet lies and falsehoods, she wanted the truth. To be assured that she wasn't going crazy, that her fears weren't all in her head. Azula wanted Mai's bluntness, whether it be that she was imagining things, or that she wasn't, even if she didn't like it.

Mai was quiet, yes, but it left her to notice more than others did, and she didn't mince her words. Azula had always appreciated the blunt hammer to any silky lies.

"No, you can't," Mai eventually said, moving one of her hands over Azula's in a gesture of comfort. "I don't know if he could be proud of anyone. I'm sorry, Azula,"

A hiccupping sob left Azula's mouth at Mai's confirmation. No other sounds left her, although her shoulders started shaking, and her tears spilled out faster than before. Tellingly, she didn't remove her hand from Mai's however. The rest of Azula's face didn't change, despite the tears definitely misting up her vision, as she stared out at the last few rays of the sun.

"But I did good, right?"

Mai didn't have to think about her answer this time. "Of course you did"

Tag List: @captain-effy @what-the-fuckis-happening

If anyone wants to be added lmk!

[captainpangolin]

Anyone else think it's weird that only like half the ghosts in bbc ghosts have spooky powers? Like okay I get it, and I know they don't need to have powers, and this isn't really a criticism, I just think it'd be... neat, y'know?

Honestly tbh it's one of the few things I almost prefer about the cbs version - I like how they expand the lore and give almost all the ghosts powers, it makes things interesting. Trevor and Julian can move things a bit, Thor and Robin can fiddle with the electricity, Mary smells like smoke, Flower gets you high, Fanny can be seen in photos, Isaac smells like dysentery, Alberta can be heard singing, Hetty's husband makes you horny, and Rebecca Wisocky has implied Hetty has a power different to the one the other ghosts thought she had (sending people to hell), so there seems to be an expectation that each ghost in the US version has a power/ability even though not all of em have been revealed yet (i.e. Sasappis, Pete, Crash, and ofc Hetty). And it's the expectation of powers that makes me think it'll be all of them having one as the show goes on. Only 3 of the core cast of 8 ghosts (not including Crash, he's even less relevant than my guy Humphrey) do not have CONFIRMED supernatural abilities. Compared to BBC Ghosts, it's definitely a bit different.

I'm reminded by what Nigel said about Isaac's power - that he still has an effect on the living world from beyond the grave. So it kinda saddens me more than anything that the other 5 ghosts don't have anything like that, yk?

I just-- wouldn't it be cool, and hear me out, if the other British ghosts could do something in that way? Like okay I think it was kingofthefrog's Ghost Swap AU (it's on ao3 and plot bunnies on tumblr) suggested that Kitty can be heard with a spirit box? That's genius. Kinda like Alberta's thing where her singing can be heard and Alexa hears her. I'm not a very creative person, but what if the other ghosts are walked through and it makes the living person feel a certain way or they have an unusual reaction? For example, Kitty walks through someone and they get the giggles and/or dance fever, or it's Thomas and they're suddenly depressed and/or romantic and/or Scottish, or it's Captain and they get butterflies in their stomach/they get all lovesick or their heart starts hammering and/or they're really anxious or get the sudden urge to listen to Kylie Minogue, or it's Humphrey and their neck hurts real bad and the Marseilleise is stuck in their head. Some of those I'm kinda joking but I just think it'd be neat, okay?

Let them have some nifty and/or stupid ghosts powers pls it would be so awesome it would be so cool etc etc

(I mean, BBC Ghosts is ofc over, so... it's not happening. In canon. 😈)

[applbottmjeens]

WEST COAST YOUTH

tags: toxic and jealous phillip graves as usual, MW2!Era, Peak Gremlin Anna, This mf is sexist and kind of a douche, hates this girl but also wants 2 smooch her so bad just date a man tbh, Phillip Marshall Graves you're too old to be acting like this, Anna has 0 self preservation skills, This man does not treat her good

summary: The beginning of something addicting- Phillip doesn't want Anna talking to other men and deals with it like a man. (The worst way.)

Goddamn Californian girls.

West coast, liberal, chatty, young things. Usually hated their guts, but goddamn this one was just persistent.

Being annoying was her love language. And like a child or a nest of wasps, the more you reacted, the more she acted up. Somehow, against all odds, she made this into a charming trait.

She's a pretty girl in a job full of men. He hates how hyper aware of it he is now. Of how many other guys she spends her time with other than him.

He wasn't special was he? This was how she was with every guy..Right?

She calls Ghost, “Spooky” and punches his arm as thanks. She randomly sings club songs with Soap and asks him for piggyback rides. She pesters her Captain with questions over call like she pesters him. And for a girl who claims to hate this Sergeant Garrick, they sure do text a lot.

He wished she chose to stay in the Shadow Company. He could watch over her more then- keep a closer eye. Have the authority to tell these other goons to stay away from her.

But when Laswell called- she couldn't say no. She “owed her too much” she said.

They weren’t anything. Not officially. There was no labels, nothing telling them that they couldn’t fuck other people or anything. But dang it- if he didn't hate it when she gave another man those fuck me eyes. When they were together, they belonged to each other. What happened when they were apart for work was none of the others business. That was the rule.

She didn't seem to mind. Free spirited, California girl like her was just someone to occupy his time, right?

This wasn't love. He was too old for shit like that. He had his chance and blew it in a bitter, bitter divorce and his firstborn son being raised by some Governor chump. He didn't love her. And while he was certain she was pretty head over heels for him, she wasn't pushing for much.

He didn't think too much of it till he saw how much she and MacTavish got along. Messing up eachother's hair. Constantly talking to one another-

It's driving him nuts. Seeing how she laughs at his jokes as if the man she actually wants to be around isn't right there.

She walks into the room after talking to Soap, and smiles when she sees Phillip pouring himself some coffee.

"You two sure talk alot." He mentions.

"Same MOS kinda. We talk all the time." She answers, leaning on the counter by him, arms crossed.

Phillip can't take it. He bites the bullet and asks her directly. “Is there anything going on between you and MacTavish?”

Anna makes a face and snorts. “...Ew. No. Also if there was, it wouldn't be any of your business-”

“Annie.”

“Stop calling me that. I'm not a child.” She sneered. She never got around to that nickname. But he's not kidding around.

"Then stop actin' like one and listen t'me." He says firmly. He puts his coffee mug down and moves towards the smaller woman, forcing her to turn and face him.

“I don't. Want you. Flirting with other men. You understand?” Graves’ grip on her arms tightened. “...Just me.”

Anna doesn't speak for a moment. “You askin' me for a commitment?” She blinks in disbelief.

“I'm asking you not to make a fool outta me.”

She scoffs and shakes her head.“...I'm not gonna roll my stops for a guy who ain't even my man. Don't play with me, Phillip.”

She rolls her eyes like the goddamn brat she is. Does he really have to spell it out for her?

Phillip speaks low, his hands moving to her waist. “Well I am your man.”

“Wait-”

“We're together now.” He states firmly. Her usually mischievous eyes are wide and surprised. Gosh, that was cute. He'd caught her off guard.

“Wait-...Don't I get a say in this?” He cuts her off with a kiss. She melts into his arms, breathless when he finally pulls away, eyes blinking in dizzy disbelief.

“...Any more stupid questions?”

Her cheeks are still flushed. “...N-no?...I think?”

He loved shutting her up. And now he had her all to himself, and nobody could take that from him.

Well except maybe HR. But he had his way around that too.

He was keeping her. Consequences be damned...

[captainschaos]

< CAPTAIN'S SLIMECICLE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE TIMELINE >

It's here!!! This is it!!!!! well okay tbh it's still very rough, there's a lot of detailwork that is kind of loose and stuff I'm still theorizing/thinking about, but this is the big look! I also cut down on a lot of the stuff about characters to focus on the timeline itself, so I might make a follow-up post with that stuff because ily council. But this is my interpretation of the scu timeline! I know there's a lot of malleability when it comes to the scu, but even within that there's certain parts I kinda took and ran a bit far with, so hopefully it all makes sense. The line between interpretation of canon and creation of headcanon is thin. Also, since my timeline isn't actually a line, it'd be a bit hard to watch along with, but I'll link the playlist of my personal preferred viewing order anyway HERE! And without further ado, here's my timeline :]

[Long post below the cut- enjoy!]

The Slimecicle Cinematic Universe follows the path of Slimecicle, one of many players who wish to achieve god-power. Players are able to travel between realms with ease, but altering those realms? That takes a considerable amount of power. However, this is not unachievable, and Charlie is one among a group of players attempting to become godlings.

VOCAB I USE: 

Godling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for creation.

Demonling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for destruction. 

Realm: What we would think of a minecraft world, a separate place that players travel to when they find new places. 

World: Within a realm, it is the earthen spirit itself. More abstract, but a powerful force to be interacted with, and has some semblance of life, magic, and almost sentience itself. 

Dimension: The Overworld, Nether, and End are different dimensions. 

Player: a person who largely interacts with realms, able to move between many, and able to become a godling if powerful enough.

Wild spirit: a spirit somewhere between a person and a beast, connected to the world as opposed to the way players can interact with realms. While both players and wild spirits can be connected to mobs, the connection is generally stronger and more widespread for wild spirits. 

God-power: Expressed by things like creative mode, op, and VR, powers that can alter realms and enforce some kind of control over players within them. 

Plight: What happens to a godling when they are forced to die without respawning or in an otherwise more permanent/impactful way, an effect other than a mortal death. Can be broken out of, but is incredibly difficult, and can have lingering effects unless truly ended. 

< PRIMARY CHARACTERS >

Charlie “Slime” Slimecicle:

Godling of food, enchanting, crafting, and smelting

Plight: DEATH (if worn down enough, he will not suffer a normal plight as other godlings would, but would become mortal and truly die)

Middle child

A shapeshifter by nature of being a slime, and his natural adaptability seems to be related to his proficiency with god-power. 

“Condi” Condifiction: 

Godling of other dimensions

Plight: caged (trapped in a location/pocket dimension of his own, and more importantly, trapped in his own mind in a whirl of penned-up hyperactivity that brings insanity)

Eldest

Condi, Charlie, and Grizz don’t remember if they’re biological brothers or not, but they grew up together, and Condi was always the most adept, the “alchemist assassin,” who kept them safe. 

Grizzly(plays): 

Godling of nature, weapons, and tools

Plight: shackled (forced to comply to the orders of the being that killed him, though it may appear as if he has respawned as normal. Can also more generally inhibit his ability to use his own power as he wishes)

Youngest (twin with Bizly)

Has gained animalistic traits from swapping power with Bizly, mainly vaguely bear/doggish. Since meeting they called themselves twins, and through this exchange have no reason to say they do not fit the word. 

Bizly(channel): 

Godling of mobs

Youngest (twin with Grizzly)

Plight: muzzled (at the most extreme is forced to disappear completely, being entirely unable to be heard or perceived by anyone. Can also more generally cause his words to lose meaning, and it is supernaturally difficult for him to be taken seriously or listened to.)

The only member of the Council who did not grow up with the group: he was a wild spirit (wolven) that was discovered by Grizzly, and slowly honed shapeshifting powers and traded bits of magic with Grizz to walk with players. 

(J)Schlatt: 

Demonling of food and nature

Grew personally slighted by Charlie and the Council, and eventually trapped them in a separate timeline of his own creation to attempt to kill Charlie. 

< TIMELINE OVERVIEW >

Begins with IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES

The VR SERIES (videos marked with vr.) and CHARLIE’S ESCAPADES (videos marked with esc.) then happen at the same time, with the final video of the VR Series being when Schlatt’s timeline is created.

Charlie's escapades then repeat in Schlatt’s timeline, followed by NATURAL DISASTERS, HARDEST DIFFICULTY, and 100 DAYS. 

At the end of 100 Days Condi activates the time loop, which he cannot use to break out of Schlatt’s timeline but he can use to bring everyone back to the beginning of it.

CHARLIE’S DREAMSCAPE ESCAPADES (videos marked with drm.) take place in the haze between his death at the end of 100 Days and him fully being transported by Condi to the beginning of the time loop.

< THE TIMELINE >

MINECRAFT, BUT IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES: 

The conflict between Charlie and Schlatt begins here. Charlie is a trickster spirit at heart, and it is consistently seen to overlap with his joy in experimentation and creation, leading his pursuit for godly power.

This is one of the first places Charlie goes to try and hold his own among others who are growing in power like he aims to, and he at first struggles, as seen in how he fails to survive for long. However, he quickly makes use of this mechanic in his own way, and uses the forced respawns to tease the others. When Schlatt joins, this is especially targeted at him, to his infuriation. 

Schlatt goes to Carson, who appears to be the leading godling of this realm, to ask for Slime’s removal, but he says that “I’m not sure that I can really do that.” This hints to some sort of power Charlie has that is potentially greater than even Carson and Schlatt, the most powerful entities there. In the same conversation it’s said that Schlatt is a broken record, hinting that he has trouble often with wanting to control others and remove them if they bother him. 

This showcases the conflict of the whole series: The rising godling Charlie Slimecicle threatening the power of the demonling Schlatt. 

MINECRAFT IN VR IS ABSOLUTELY TRAUMATIZING (vr.): 

Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others begin working in a realm where they start experimenting with more control over their world, specifically by exerting control over themselves and their physicality in the plane (expressed through vr use). 

Narwhal is notably present from the very beginning, as a figure of power among the group, and Wheatie is also a member from the start. 

The excursion near the end of the video to the Nether is most notable as it is recalled in a flashback during the 100 Hunters video, specifically when Condi falls into the lava while bridging. 

MINECRAFT IN VR WILL HURT YOU IN NEW WAYS (vr.): 

Notably Schlatt joins this world, and it’s clear Charlie has a slight position of power over him in this place, and it makes him uncomfortable. 

Bizly also enters the scene in this video, first in a beastly purple and gold skin, then mimicking Herobrine, slowly changing from a more beastly form to that of a player. He was a wolven wild spirit found by Grizzly, and as he gave some of his power to Grizzly to assist his path toward godhood, he gained power from Grizzly that helped him act as a player. 

At the end of this video, Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others all partake in first a spleefing tournament, then a “gladiatorial bloodbath” which Charlie wins. Bizly watches this battle, and Narwhal and Wheatie both appear to have been utilizing god-power (creative mode) to create the arena, pouring power into it that Charlie proves himself best suited for. This is another of the beginning signs that he excels in this power.

Schlatt is not present for these later events.

I INVITED YOUTUBERS TO PLAY MINECRAFT VR AND THIS HAPPENED (vr.): 

The rest of the council is not present, but Schlatt and other figures on the server are. 

This video is largely just an example of Schlatt attempting to show he’s more powerful than Charlie, and Charlie continuing to fuck with Schlatt and generally make things worse. 

Poppies make an appearance in the video, as an attempted and rejected peace offering from Charlie to Schlatt. 

MINECRAFT VR HAS DRIVEN MY SOUL FROM MY BODY (vr.): 

The video immediately starts off with Charlie and Travis claiming that Schlatt seems upset, while he vehemently denies it. 

Schlatt also seems to be using the same kind of worldbending power Charlie has been utilizing in this video (VR), potentially as yet another way to try and maintain power over him. However, Charlie continues to prove he has greater knowledge and control over this power, and then Schlatt injures himself while utilizing the physicality-altering power, and this pushes Schlatt over the edge. 

Schlatt gives an apple to Travis, taking control of him, though the power of the fruit isn’t known to anyone but the goat demonling yet. Travis begins to follow Schlatt and work with him to attempt to capture Charlie and then kill and cast a spell on him. It is with the symbolic death in the grave that Schlatt manages to latch onto Charlie’s spirit and begin creating a separate timeline in which he has control over Slime and the Council. 

The rest of the video is a semi-hallucinogenic experience Charlie has as the spell is cast and he, along with his friends, are trapped in Schlatt’s timeline. 

Travis is killed, and with this lifeforce and the ritual he enacts over Charlie, Schlatt puts his foot in the door to start working toward making Charlie mortal, and finally get back at him for the ways he’s taunted him.

ROLL (esc.): 

Narwhal is given power in a realm of Charlie’s, a compromise to utilize Narwhal’s power and allow Charlie to attempt to expand his own. This was an idea proposed to Narwhal by Charlie not long after the creation of the VR realm, as Charlie started to come into his own in that kind of power and became more and more excited about the possibilities. 

Flowers make an appearance as a protective entity. 

During this video a site reminiscent of Molympus is also created, as an island floating above the land is created by the die. 

Near the end of the video the die is dropped by Narwhal and Charlie gains control of it, and more of Narwhal’s power is passed to him. He is immediately able to use its power far more rapidly than Narwhal, and the world is destroyed by their battle. In the destructive blast, Condi, Bizly, and Grizzly are able to escape with the more powerful Charlie, but the weakened Narwhal and Wheatie fail to escape, and are destroyed, their power shattering and being absorbed by the newest godlings, the Council. 

MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S PAY-TO-WIN (OR LOSE) (esc.): 

After the blast, Charlie blames himself for Narwhal and Wheatie’s deaths, so he sets out to experiment with his newfound power on his own. 

This is the most raw of Narwhal’s remaining chance power, which Charlie begins to learn to harness by not being able to control exactly what it does, but by being able to shift how likely each effect may be (changing prices).

MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY BLOCK FIGHTS BACK (esc.):

Condi and Grizzly, concerned for Charlie, ask him to let them help with his experimentation, and suggest they ask Schlatt to come into the equation as another power on par with Narwhal to help. However, they decide that all will be on equal grounds to hope to preserve everyone equally, so Schlatt is not put in godly status. Bizly is missing from this video, having been pushed to the side by Schlatt, unbeknownst to the others. 

Charlie is the only one with god-power (op) to begin with, but he is walked through much of it by Schlatt.

Grizzly is at one point cornered by Schlatt, and threatened with an apple. Grizzly would have no way of knowing of the fruit’s power, and yet he immediately recognizes it and reacts with intense fear. This is some of the strongest evidence for a time loop, with residual memories that would allow Grizzly, the most affected by Schlatt’s use of apples, to remember it when face-to-face with it. It is also important to note that while Charlie does not seem to remember as much as Grizz, he is the one to send Schlatt away by overpowering him with more apples. 

After this, Charlie says he has given god-power in the realm to all members (op), which Schlatt immediately makes use of to try and seize power. 

After this the whole group slowly devolves into using their power more and more. It’s clear Condi, Grizzly, and Charlie have become just as adept at it as Schlatt, using it for jokes and cheats. 

MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S WAY MORE TRAUMATIZING (esc.): 

After the last escapade, Condi and Grizzly suggest they go to their own realm without Schlatt, and Charlie agrees. Because they do not have quite as much control the world becomes far more dangerous. 

This also could be the way they searched for Bizly after he had been missing for some time, as he is more beastlike in origin. This world may even be his creation, not Slime’s, which would further cement why they did not utilize creative god-powers. 

This video also showcases the tendency Charlie and Grizzly are characterized by in wanting to find ways to live amongst the challenges that face them, not necessarily fight to escape. They are far more inclined than Condi to settle in their tower and hunker down there and learn to live with the dangers around them, which is an attitude they continue to showcase in how they handle the timeloop. 

MINECRAFT, BUT 100 PLAYERS ARE HUNTING ME (esc.): 

Bizly has returned to the group, and goes along with Condi and Charlie for the next of Charlie’s exercises in his power. 

This is another example of Charlie’s experimentation with randomized power, as a bunch of random people are spawned in and create entropy in their path. 

Halfway through the video, after all three of them have died, Charlie resorts to using his god-powers, but it is too explosive and causes the world to crash. He shows his growth by reining in it quickly though. 

There is an explicit flashback to the escapade to the nether in the VR series, when Condi fell before. This time, he does not fall. 

Thatoneperson is an important figure, and is clearly more than just a hunter. They exhibit godlike power that hints at them potentially being Schlatt in disguise. This would be the chance used to muzzle Bizly, when the ordeal with Thatoneperson being killed leads to his being pushed off the fortress, a death that could be latched onto to muzzle him. This takes gradual effect, and he remains for the rest of the video, but is missing from Natural Disaster. 

In the End fight with the dragon, Charlie yet again exhibits god-power to summon every hunter to fight by their side. 

<< THE TIME LOOP BEGINS. >>

Charlie’s escapades all repeat in this timeline but under Schlatt’s watch, no longer as a way for Charlie to grow, but a way to torture the Council and weaken them. 

MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY 5 MINUTES THERE’S A NATURAL DISASTER: 

When Charlie eats the apple early in the video, it accomplishes what Schlatt began doing right before the time loop was created: it makes him mortal. He can now truly, fully be killed, if done in a way powerful enough to stop his respawn. 

Immediately after this Charlie is notably able to give Grizzly an apple as a help, not a hindrance, which could be tied to his emerging domain over food. Grizzly’s domain over nature also begins to emerge as he gives poppies that begin to work as protective symbols. 

Schlatt quickly gets them to build him a church, showing how he’s trapped them in a state they forget their own emerging god-power, and taunts them with the light to the command blocks later, showing the torturous pointlessness of the whole experience. 

Grizz becomes shackled by Schlatt at the final volcano, but Charlie is able to take control of the realm from Schlatt and Grizz is able to break out to an extent. Schlatt does still remain in power over the timeline as a whole though, and retreats to regroup.

THE HARDEST MINECRAFT DIFFICULTY: 

With picking the chests at the start of the video, the Council solidifies their domains of power as godlings. They had already began developing these, but this used some of the last chance magic Charlie had from Narwhal to allow them to concentrate their power into stronger, more specific areas. This whole video is an example of the Council going all out with their powers, and truly testing their limits. 

When the apple is given to Grizzly and he falls, he becomes shackled again. Though Schlatt is not in this world, he is pulling the strings as this happens in his timeline, and so the shackled Grizzly is still forced against his brothers. However, he strains against his restraints, and manages to make the fight fair enough that his brothers can beat him. 

The wolves were supposed to just be a joke. A joke between twins. Bizly’s wolfish, he wouldn’t really hurt them. If Condi hadn’t spawned them in the nether, it would have just been an illusion, a prank. It was just bad luck. “I may have been the boy who cried for the wolves, but I will not cry for you.” When shackled, and with Bizly muzzled, Grizz forgets that Bizly was the dearest wolf he cried for. 

In Grizzly’s last moments, Bizly, who had been fighting against his own plight for a while now, sees that Grizzly’s being controlled by his own and he can either be shackled in the mind as his body fights his family, or he can be shackled fully as a ghost that cannot act against them. In saving Grizzly, Bizly has to kill him to turn the shackles to a kind Grizzly can fight out of. He barely manages to reach through enough to help them get to the end, but his shackling means he cannot be in the world with them, and even that small effort to help them doesn’t have any real use.

WE SPENT 100 DAYS IN HARDCORE MINECRAFT: 

Charlie has forgotten everything. After Hardest Difficulty, the Council continued to try and live their lives, but in the wake of Grizzly’s absence Condi threw himself into research, locking himself in his labs for long stints of time, feeling something was off about Grizz’s “death.” He was eventually caged there, and Bizly faded further under his muzzling as Schlatt used this opportunity to take them all away from Charlie. 

Schlatt then created an environment filled with death: a zombie apocalypse. Natural disasters also, notably, play a large role. This would be the final trial where he wore Charlie down to the point he could kill him.

Each of the Council appears in a diluted way how they can through their plight, and Bizly, having fought his off the longest, is able to work through his in many ways. He appears first out of the Council as Florida Man, accompanied by wild animals that he can interact with as a wild spirit.

Tommy enters, a wild spirit (zombie) who has started to move toward a player form and demonling power very similarly to Bizly. Grizzly ended up trading power with Bizly because they were at similar power levels, but Schlatt is able to give without any side effects because of his immense power, and Tommy comes into power over the 100 days as a demonling under Schlatt.

Charlie finds Condi’s lab where he’s been caged, and reads hints in Condi’s diary that he remembers what was done to Grizzly and is trying to fix it by recreating the world. His caged mind does not recognize Charlie, but Charlie is able to help Condi partially break out of his cage, and he is able to go out into the world though much of the mental caging effects linger. 

“In the new world, Charlie, everyone will be happy. Because I’m going to be a god.” He knows.

Condi is not successful in hopping worlds- he hops times back to the beginning of Schlatt’s timeline. He can’t escape it completely, but can form a time loop so they can try again. It doesn’t seem like it’s worked at first, but it is in the moments between a death and respawn that he can transport them, and so he is able to go back when he “dies.”

The Blood Bachelor’s arena somewhat resembles the arena from the VR series, yet another ritual to whittle down Charlie’s mortality. 

Ranboo is another upcoming godling/wild spirit, this time pulled in by Charlie, talked about more in the section for Beating Minecraft w/ Ranboo. He may have some idea of the fact that the apocalypse was created by Schlatt, twisted to be expressed by his conspiracy. 

Wizzly is the still shackled Grizzly, fighting to regain control of his powers. He has some version of his own knowledge of the timeline as a whole, knowing that Charlie is the “protagonist,” the focus of Schlatt’s attention. 

On day 99, Schlatt comes with apples, his strongest weapon. This is when Charlie starts to remember, and fears him, but the reminder of Bizly and the others pulls him away just before he eats. Bizly, who Charlie can barely remember, but with the knowledge Schlatt forced on him he now realizes has been working to keep him safe even though he’s a faded version of himself. Charlie then goes back, hoping he can bring him back before he’s faded completely, and he’s able to call him and the others for the final battle.

In this fight Tommy is seen wielding god-power, as he has become a demonling over the 100 days.

Charlie uses Condi’s machine to world-hop, and here, in a realm of Condi’s power, Schlatt attempts to finally, fully, kill Charlie. But in the moment where Schlatt kills him and attempts to stop him from respawning, Condi’s power is able to take Charlie not to mortal death, but back to the beginning. They will try again until they are all saved. Until Bizly is unmuzzled, Grizzly unshackled, Condi uncaged, and Charlie survives. 

It is also worth noting that Bizly, Grizzly, and Ranboo were left behind, but at the mention of Charlie, Grizzly summons zombies, saying “let’s do it all again, run it back from the top”, and they are killed too, allowing them to be transported as well as Condi begins the timeloop.

<< THE TIME LOOP IS ENGAGED. >>

BEATING MINECRAFT AS A SLIME (drm.):  I FINALLY BEAT MINECRAFT FOR THE FIRST TIME… (FT. RANBOO) (drm.): 

Both of these videos serve roughly the same purpose, as hallucinations/dreams Charlie experiences between time loops. There are many variations of them, all being very rudimentary ways of him changing a world and seeing how he fares, similar to his original escapades when growing his god-power. He begins to encounter Ranboo, a wild spirit of the place between dimensions (hence the enderman/End and ghast/Nether influences) that manages to interact with these dreams as Charlie moves between dimensions/times, and is eventually pulled into the timeline through Charlie’s power. However, he also begins to move toward godhood as a result of being gifted some of Charlie’s power. 

These are the beginning of Charlie potentially being able to not only alter a realm, but create entire realms of his own.

[messymindofmine]

911 Lone Star Found Family

Thank you to @lemonlyman-dotcom for the tag! I am always up for talking about how much I love the relationships in this show

1)What is your favorite 911 Lone Star Found Family Moment?

It is so incredibly difficult for me to choose just one moment but if I had to, it would be TK trying to saving Marjan in 1x03. I'm choosing this one because even though we don't see as much of TK and Marjan's friendship as I wish we did, the idea of them is very close to my heart. I got introduced the show way back when it was first released by my bestie who is so much like TK that it's a running joke that TK was created especially for him. While I am not exactly like Marjan, I am a badass Muslim woman so I am the Marjan to my bestie's TK. And that moment I picked that moment in 1x03 because at that point, TK and Marjan didn't even really know each other that well yet TK was willing to risk his life to save her.

2)Which platonic pairing/friendship dynamic are you most looking forward too seeing again in season?

See answer above. TK and Marjan's friendship is really important to me. Aside from what I mentioned above, I love to think about how Marjan went from being treated as a prop at her former place to show everyone how woke they were to being respected and cherished as an important part of the team and a family member. As a side note, this is why as a Muslim woman myself, I like how Owen bringing Marjan (and everyone else on the team) isn't treated as something that he's doing to save them but rather is him almost inadvertently bringing together a family. He doesn't treat any of them as damsels who need him to save them whether they ask for it or not, he treats them like family that you help no matter what because you love them. And Marjan obviously picked up on it despite her initial reservations precisely because she wasn't looking for a savior and that's why she was so adamant to bring the firehouse back in season. All that said, I think TK and Marjan have a lot in common with the way they have been treated in the past regarding their job. Marjan was treated as a prop to get woke points and was constantly being underestimated and held back. TK was used to feeling like he had to constantly prove himself not only because he felt people looked down on him for being the captain's son but also because he, like so many others with any kind of mental illness, felt like he needed to prove people wrong constantly as validation that he is worth something. But then they found each other and I have loved that little moment during Marjan's interview in the pilot where TK looks up at her and smiles. You can tell he feels he has found a kindred spirit.

3)If you could pick one Lone Star character to be friends with, who would you choose?

Well since I already have a TK in my life, I'm just going to go with that. My TK (though that's not his name lol) is so important to me and my life would not be the same without him. It certainly would not be as good.

4)Which would you rather attend: Catan night at the loft or game night at the Ryders?

Now this is a tough choice because I have never played Catan but I love charades. However, I am going with Catan night purely because I love seeing them all in their group and I would love to spent time in that loft.

5)A character of your choice ends up in jail. Who would they call to bail them out (assuming their romantic partner, parent, and/or child didn't pick up)?

Carlos tbh because we've seen that he has no problem bailing his friends (or indeed his soulmate who had just rejected him) out of jail. Also, I just want to sit in a car with him while he's in uniform.

Anyway, all of this is meant to say that I adore TK and Marjan together because to me it feels like watching my bestie and myself onscreen. I would not have even known about the show without him and even though he is not really participating in fandom anymore for his own reasons, it is still a ritual for us to watch the show together and talk about it.

I know that I was late in responding to this but work has been a bitch lately (why oh why does real life have to be a thing?!) and I have no idea who has already participated or wants to participate. I am also really shy about tagging people so I will make this an open tag and I hope anyone who wants to participate will feel welcome to do so. And if there is anyone who doesn't mind being tagged by me, please let me know!

[crazylittlejester]

I got this HW AU idea where Ghirahim is forced to join Link’s squad and shenanigans ensue. Like, Ghirahim is making fun of Fi because one of her masters hates her(Mask) and another one just left her in the sea(Tune). She is always unfazed from his taunts, but that doesn’t stop him. And only Captain Link, Marin, and Ravio refer to him as Lord Ghirahim, Marin in mostly a passive aggressive mocking way, while Ravio is trying to suck up to him. Because one, he’s afraid he might kill him, and two, if he gets one his good side, they could do many shenanigans together and it would be fun.

Some of the people call him Mister Ghirahim, including Aryll and Agitha, and they’re the only ones Ghirahim can’t get mad at. That doesn’t mean he likes them, it just that he views them as being way too small and weak to even consider a threat in any way. They sometimes drops flower crowns on his head whenever they gets the chance.

I’d feel like Ghirahim would argue with Impa and Phantom Zelda the most. Impa became of course they would argue, and Phantom because she doesn’t know when to shut up. Seriously, she is so talkative, I love that about her. Ghirahim currently doesn’t.

Midna and Ghirahim would get along only sometimes. Those sometimes would be the most chaotic moments at the camp let me tell ya.

I haven’t talked about his relationship with the Links yet, so let’s do that. I think he would try to “befriend” Mask once he learns of his distaste towards the Master Sword. But Mask hates him as well, so that plan’s a bust. Tune also doesn’t like him, but Ghirahim honestly forgets that he’s even there half the time, he does not care. He forgets that a lot of the people in this squad even exist tbh, even Lana. He gets along fairly well with the Captain, mostly because he doesn’t find him as annoying as SwSw Link, and that he calls him Lord Ghirahim. Link is absolutely terrified of this Sword Spirit, and is glad that’s he’s an ally rather than an enemy now.

Oh, and he hates all the Zeldas, except Tetra. She’s okay sometimes.

Im sorry ive been a bit behind on answering asks i hot a bad headache 💔

I LOVE THIS, ghirahim being unable to get mad at agitha is so funny 😭 AND I LOVE THAT TETRA IS OKAY SOMETIMES

Mask and Ghirahim would be a crazy duo on the days they got along, and they’d make the captain’s life absolutely miserable lmaooo

[itsmeimclown]

The last like 6 episodes have so many good Luffy moments. Like Wano has had some great moments, but Luffy's character growth has been incredible. It's progressed so naturally that you don't realize how far he's come as a captain and a leader until you see him breaking the mirror in whole cake, until you see him walk casually past two emperors, until you see him make his speech in the prison to the prisoners about saving their country. Like Luffy is an idiot, don't get me wrong. He's silly and goofy and carefree. But beneath that he has immense emotional intelligence, and I think these past few arcs really showcase that. I just love it when Luffy is quiet and contemplative and serious and steadfast. I love seeing him as the captain we know and love and as the king we know he will be. But these last 6 episodes? They show the parts of Luffy that I love the most. His fun carefree spirit and his emotional levity. Seeing him watch as Momo and the gang fight against Greenbull, but not intervening. Seeing him visit the ruins of Oden castle to pay his respects. Seeing him waiting for Momo as he knew that the send off he gave Momo was what Momo needed to feel secure in his place in Wano. The way he treats Momo as his little brother (that moment made me cry tbh) and similarly Tama just melts my heart. It feels realistic to call him an emperor now because we've seen his growth throughout the series. But he's still the same Luffy. Still the same boy who set out to sea in a small little dinghy from the weakest sea. And we love him for it