#he is so tragic and i am so right about him LMAO

[yiangchen]

as much as i love bellarke, i think a kiss (on the lips) would have been too much in the s2 finale. clarke had already been forced to mercy kill finn and lexa had just betrayed her. and then bellarke committed genocide. all in the same season. girl was going THROUGH it. i also think the cheek kiss is fitting. and that much more heartbreaking somehow. it’s like. i am too broken to offer anything to you. all i can offer is this short-lived moment of intimacy, and then i have to go. you deserve so much more than me. you know that’s what she was thinking despite his pleas for her to stay.

now, i could see an au where he convinces her to stay, but only if they don’t stay in arkadia but go somewhere new. there are so many post s2 au fics where t100 and bellarke settle by the sea and i absolutely ADORE that concept. in a world where they were going to be cancelled after two seasons and knew about it, i could see this happening and there’s a montage implying everyone lives happily ever after and bellarke gets together eventually.

season 3 is a tricky one. because that season is A Lot…as we all know lmao. they were definitely being set up in the first few episodes. however, gina’s and lexa’s deaths very quickly make things kinda complicated. i love the idea of bellarke happening during hakeldama (all of the emotions were coming out and that kneeled down hand hold was insanely romantic), but only in a universe where bellamy and gina either weren’t together or she didn’t die. i honestly think gina wasn’t going to exist originally and that s2 set up bellarke to happen in s3, but then lexa’s popularity caught the writers off guard, and they decided to go the c/lexa route briefly. so then gina was added in. and things very quickly became a kind of love square (bellamy’s jealousy/hurt over clarke working with lexa and raven telling bellamy “too bad you were never that devoted to gina”). it’s honestly wild looking back at how blatant that was. before the bellamy, clarke and echo triangle, there was the bellamy, clarke, lexa and gina square (and before that there was the bellamy, clarke, finn and raven square…but that’s a discussion for another day!)

anyway, moving on to s4. i do agree that they probably considered clarke making it to space or bellamy staying on earth, but only in a universe where they were going to be cancelled. bellarke never spent a significant time in the same place off screen. i think that was intentional. we were never meant to miss any of bellarke’s story. and if they had gotten together over a time jump, we would have missed so much. i do think it works in the case of a cancellation though. i can see it so clearly. when clarke comes back and sees that he didn’t leave, she’s furious, asking him why, and he’d probably say something sappy yet sarcastic about how it’s kinda hard to listen to his head when his heart is telling him he’s in love with the girl he’s supposed to leave behind. idk who kisses who, but let me tell you, this would have been the KISS we had been waiting for. and then! cue montage of bellamy and clarke surviving together and meeting madi and becoming a family and then five years later reuniting with everyone in space and in the bunker.

on a side note, it absolutely kills me that we will never know what bellamy was going to say in 4x06. you are so right though. the writers know and they never went anywhere with that. just like the radio calls. absolutely tragic…

speaking of the radio calls, i would just love to know what was running through their brains with that one. oh to have been in the writers room during that discussion…

it's still so fascinating to me that bellarke was supposed to happen in 6x10/6x11, bob was informed of this, but then he received the script and it didn't happen. that's just so sketch. truly what was going on behind the scenes. it's just so WEIRD the more you think about it. also makes me wonder if that was the first time that had happened. i mean, we already know that there were changes to the 1x08 script to get rid of the line where bellamy asks clarke to run away with him, so i don't think it's that far outside the realm of possibility to think that there were other romantic lines/scenes that were cut throughout the series. i honestly think every season they probably toyed with the idea of them happening, wrote a first kiss or a confession or maybe an almost kiss, decided against it and thought hey actually let's push this to next season, drag it out a little longer.

[dizzybevvie]

I think I found your Beverly playlist on Spotify! I just posted about it yesterday! If so, great playlist! (made me cry)

OMFG????? THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING??? EVER???????? AJBHDASJDASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?

uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

[impossible-rat-babies]

ough warden eshka and davrin………….

[alchemiclee]

I didn't like blade at first for some reason. too edgy and emo and seemed generic like a sasuke (I never liked sasuke lmao) when I learned about yingxing, I really liked him but still didn't like blade. now I like both for some reason even if yinxing is a dumbass who did this to himself. but blade grew on me somwhow, and someone really needs to gently hold him or something. that poor man. he's so broken. give him a break 😭

[tastybluesprite]

A Not so Relaxing Break

Okay so I wanted to write for these two soooo bad. But I had to wait until I could actually see the movie lmao. Anyway the movie was incredible! Enjoyed every second. Seeing Logan officially return is just so amazing and I’m so exited because I love his character so much. Also, I’m thinking of maybe doing a part two for this fix because I really wanted to write lee!Wade but got tired lol. Anyway please enjoy this fic!

Warnings: Lots of cussing, and some crude jokes (this is a Deadpool fanfic)

Summery: Logan just cant seem to catch a break with Wade

Logan sighed as he rubbed his eyes a bit. The fire was heating him up nicely, but it made him a bit sleepy. Wade sat next to him him, mesmerized by the flames.

“Yknow peanut… I’m only saying this because I’m getting a more intimate vibe right now, but I would love to fuck you right here right now if we had a softer surface.”

Logan just stared deadpannedly at the fire. He was slowly becoming more accustomed to Wades shenanigans and jokes.

“Does everything with you have to be perverted?” He asked wearily.

Wade grinned. “Yup. It’s kind of important to my character.”

Logan was about to tell him how that wasn’t something to be proud of, but thought better of It. He wasn’t about to entertain his nonsense more.

Wade sighed. “Man I am bored. I feel like we’ve been here for hours.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “It’s only been ten minutes.”

Wade scoffed playfully. “And how would you know genius?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “It’s a rough estimate, dipshit.”

Wade scoffed again, this time in mock offense. “How dare you! I’ll have you know that I am a proud dipshit! At least I don’t have the fattest stick up my ass like a fucking human puppet. I’m trying so hard to pull it out of you but goddamnit, you’re a fighter.”

Suddenly after that, there was a sudden noise. A small coughing, snorty type noise. Wade looked at Logan, a bit surprised. No fucking way…

“Hold on… you almost laughed… you thought that was funny…” Wade said, slowly smiling under his mask. It was a statement of realization.

Logan quickly frowned, clearing his throat again and dragging his hand down his mouth, and shrugged. “Uh. No… no I didn’t...”

Wade wasn’t about to let this go. “No… no no no… you think I’m funny… you laughed… you liked that joke…” his grin only widened under his mask.

“Look, I didn’t laugh. I… had an itch in my throat…”

“Oh you fucking liar!” Wade said with a chuckle. His finger poking out towards Logan.

Logan stiffened up and pushed at his hand.

“Stop it…” Logan growled tensely.

“I don’t believe it! My favorite little power bottom is finally gaining a sense of humor! Good for you!”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Shut up already.”

Wade only took that as an invitation to keep going.

“Come on… just admit I’m funny…” he said, trying to poke at his side. Logan tensed up more and growled slightly, trying to swat Wades hand away.

“N-never… in a m-million… years…” he managed out through clenched teeth, trying to push at Wades hands.

“What’s this…? Am I making you… tense~?” The merc with a mouth grinned. He poked more as Logan tried to push him off.

Suddenly he jabbed his lower ribs, and the Wolverine let out a yelp.

Wade grinned more. “I don’t believe it. The Wolverine is not only gaining a sense of humor, but he’s ticklish too? Incredible.”

“Stay the fuck away from me you pervert.”Logan glared.

Suddenly Wade had tackled him to the ground of the forest. Making sure it was sudden enough that Logan wouldn’t have the time to react. He immediately attacked the man’s sides.

Logan sucked in a sharp inhale, trying to hold in laughter.

“Come on Wolvie-Wolvie~ Even depressing and tragic grumps like you are allowed to laugh~” Wade grinned as he scratched his fingers up his yellow suited friends ribs.

Logan could only squirm and push against him, but it was no use.

“D-Damn… y-you… AH! Fuhuhuhuck!!!” Logan cried out with new released laughter when Wade found his stomach, digging in gently.

Wade tisked and mockingly shook his head. “Language you bad wolf cub. Does daddy wolf need to punish you?"

"F-Fuhuhuck y-yohohohhuuu!!!" Logan protested in his laughter, squirming and kicking under him.

Wade laughed and continued his relentless attack. “Oh this is just amazing!”

Logan finally managed to lift his hands and unleashed his adamantium claws, swinging them towards Wade.

“Oops…! Play nice now…” Wade grinned more and grabbed his wrists. He crossed them as if they were square hand bag handles above his head. Logan almost broke free from the grip, but the poor mutant weakened when Wade began to use his free hand, and gently scratch at his now vulnerable ribs.

Logan arched his back slightly. He tried to hold it in, but failed as low and wheezy laughter escaped.

“Ohohoho shihihihihittt ahahahaha Whahahahade yohohohohu ahahahasshohohole!!!” Logan cried out, trying to sound angry. However it’s hard for one to sound angry when helplessly laughing against their will.

Wade just grinned at the sight. “This is amazing. To think that the cool tough and strong Wolverine could be weakened by just a few fingers? Never would I have believed it.”

He went down to his lower ribs next, this time going just behind his side, right at the back corner of his lowest rib, and Logan let out a loud strained noise, which sounded awfully like a half restrained squeal.

“Holy fuck it just gets better. Did you just squeal? Is this your weak spot Wolvie?” Wade grinned, cooing at the poor adamantium built man as he gently dug more into the spot.

“Y-YOHOhOhuhuh FUHUhUhcKIHIhING DIhIHIHCK STOHOHOHPP!!!”

He arched his back a bit as Wade poked around the spot.

At this point Logan’s face was bright red. His eyes watering a bit from the laughter. When Wade started deeply massaging into the spot he let out a peal of cackles, tea kettle wheezing.

Wade realized maybe this was a bit too much. Maybe he deserved a break.

He slowly stopped, getting off of him as the yellow suited mans laughter died down a bit. Logan lay there, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath.

Wade grinned at the mess he made of him. “Sorry. I can be a little rough. Want some after ca- GYAH!” Wade cried out as Logan pounced and pinned him firmly down, growling a bit at him.

Wade looked at him nervously. “C-can… we talk about this? I mean… you… you wouldn’t resort to something so childish right…?”

Silence. Then…

“Screw you, dipshit.”

And before he knew it, Wade was thrown into hysterical laughter and squirming wildly as the Wolverine started clawing at any spot he can reach.

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[peacefxlmyko]

Family business

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x mom!Reader, Nick "Goose" Bradshaw x wife!Reader, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x platonic!Reader

Ask: "I had an idea for Top Gun, the reader was “Goose”'s wife and Bradley's mother, she is in the Navy and trains the squadron for the mission with Maverick. When Maverick and his son's plane are about to be shot down instead of Jake saving them, she is the one who saves them. Cute ending if possible" by @motherofdragons1998

Tags: Fluff, Angst, obviously Top Gun Maverick spoilers, hints to Hangster 👀, Reader is a widow, Use of Y/N, Reader's callsign is Shadow

Notes: I am SO nervous to post this omfg. This is the first thing I ever wrote based off an ask and I hope I did everything right with it lmao. This is also the longest piece I have ever written. I am not 100% happy with it, but I did my best and I hope ya'll like it! Apologies for any Grammar or in general writing mistakes, English isn't my first language. I am also open for more requests/asks!

Words: 2500+

Story under the cut! ✂️

Getting the call to return to Top Gun after years definitely wasn't something you expected. And finding out that you had to train the best pilots in the world for a suicide mission didn't make your anxiety any better.

After you arrived at the Academy, you were met with Beau “Cyclone” Simpson and Solomon “Warlock” Bates and they introduced you to the Mission.

“Captain Y/N “Shadow” Bradshaw." Cyclone began. “I'm Admiral Beau Simpson and this is Admiral Solomon Bates.”

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” You replied.

“I hope it's no problem we will be introducing you to the Mission without the other instructor.”

“Other.. instructor, sir?”, your eyes narrowed a little in confusion.

"Yes, you will be teaching the class with another instructor.” Your curiosity was sparked, but you didn't get to ask anything else as they started explaining the Mission.

“The target is an unsanctioned uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. The uranium produced there represents a direct threat to our allies in the region.” Warlock started to explain.

After the explanation it as your turn to explain your view on the mission. Then, they revealed who the pilots tasked with the mission were. “We've recalled 12 TOPGUN graduates from their squadrons. We want you to narrow-”

As soon as you turned to the monitor your heart skipped a beat and your breath caught in your throat. Bradley.

“Is there a problem, Captain?”

“I just.. didn't expect to see my son there, sir.” You muttered, still a bit in disbelief.

“Bradley Bradshaw, aka Rooster. I understand his father was also a pilot? What was his callsign again?”

Ouch. “It was Goose, sir.”

“Tragic what happened.”

Daggers. With every word daggers were being stabbed in your heart. Not one day went by without you missing Nick. Your husband. The father of your son. The love of your life.

After the briefing, you headed to a nearby bar to try and gather your thoughts. As you walked into the bar, you suddenly saw a familiar figure sitting there. No, two. Two familiar faces.

“Pete?”

The man turned around with a stunned look on his face.

“Y/N?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” You walked closer to him, a smile forming on my face.

“I could ask you the same.”

“He pissed off another admiral.” Penny commented and you cracked a smile. “It's nice to see you again, Penny” You smiled and sat down next to Pete.

“Don't tell me you're going to-”

“Teach a mission here?” You completed his sentence.

“So you are the other instructor! They wouldn't even tell me!” Mav chuckled at your complaint and shook his head a little.

You heard some noises at the other side of the bar and glanced over at the pool tables. There were pilots gathered and you recognised them as the graduates that had been recalled for the mission.

A few more people joined the bar. It didn't even take you two seconds to recognise your son. Hawaii shirt, sunglasses on his nose, that damn mustache like Nick had. Bradley was the spitting image of his father. You also heard someone call out “Bradshaw! Is that you?”

You didn't want to admit it, but sometimes it hurt a little. The way Nick would have been so proud of him hurt. And knowing that you were the reason his papers were held back because you didn't want him to have the same fate as Goose.

As soon as Pete recognised Bradley he quickly turned away, as if to hide from him. “Mav, you don't have to hi-”

“I cost him years of his career.”

“I know, but that was because I wanted it that way. You did it for me, because of Goose. Don't you think it's time he finds out it was me?”

“No, god no. It'll be fine, just.. let it be.”

You sighed and turned back to your drink, taking a few sips.

“How about ringing me up before the evening rush?” Maverick suddenly said to Penny and stood up. You glanced over at Bradley, watching him with his fellow aviators. Hasn't even noticed his own mother yet. You chuckled a little to yourself.

“It's been declined.”

You snapped out of your thoughts when Penny said that to Pete and laid his credit card on the table in front of him. You curiously watched and tried to hide your amused grin.

“You're kidding.”

Soon enough, Pete was getting carried out by three pilots and you watched, not even hiding your amusement.

Then, you heard a few tones coming from the piano and your heart dropped.

“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much love drives a man insane.”

Rooster was playing and singing “Great balls of fire”. The same song Nick loved performing, a little out of key but it was still always the most perfect thing to you. You stared at him in disbelief, his back turned to you. Other pilots were standing next to him, singing along. The whole Bar was watching him. Your little boy.

After he was finished you watched him perform a little funny dance as the bar kept chanting “Rooster! Rooster!”. God, when did he grow up so much?

You stood up and slowly made your way towards him.

“I assumed you would at least let your Mother know when you're on a new Mission?”

You could see the way his heart dropped and he looked like a toddler being caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Mom?” He slowly turned around to you, you had an amused grin on your face.

“This is how I find out you're back at TOPGUN?” You grinned. You could hear his friends letting out laughs and a few comments in the background. “I- uh—”

“Oh, shut up and give your mother a hug.”

________________________________________

The next day, all the pilots sat together in a hanger, ready to be taught about the mission. Admiral Bates was standing in front of them all, ready to explain.

“Your instructors are TOPGUN graduates with real world experience in every mission aspect you'll be expected to master and they are considered some of the finest pilots this program has ever produced. I give you Captain Pete Mitchell, callsign Maverick and Captain Y/N Bradshaw, callsign Shadow.”

Maverick and you walked in together, walking up to the lectern where Warlock stood at first. The pilots turned to look at you both and you could see their faces drop as some of them realized they kicked out their instructor last night.

You shot Bradley a quick small smile, meanwhile he gave Maverick a look that could kill.

You both started to talk to the class, Mav doing the most talking. After some briefing, you all got your Jets ready and then took off into the sky for some training and to show what they are able to do.

The next few days were spent preparing and training, trying to get them ready.

But once during some briefing in a classroom, a fight broke out. Hangman had made a comment about Goose and it set Rooster off, almost going for his throat but you all managed to keep them apart. Maverick dismissed them all for the day.

Bradley went back to the base to calm down, Maverick went to meet Iceman and you.. Well, you drove to the Hard Deck and sat down at the Beach there. The whole time you were lost in thoughts. Was he ready for this? Was I ready for this? Was anybody ready for this mission?

“Oh Nick..” You started to tear up. “I don't want to send Bradley out there. He's not ready. No one is! I-I can't risk losing him too! I.. I just can't lose my son too… He's my little boy.. Our little boy.. When did he grow up so much…? I need you here.. god.. I wish you were here..”

Even though he wasn't here anymore, you knew Goose was still watching over you and listening whenever he could.

________________________________________

It felt like the time until the mission flew by. It almost felt like a blur, as if it wasn't real. And burying one of your life-long friends made it even worse. Iceman could finally rest, but it was still incredibly painful. Seeing Maverick grief him made it even worse.

But in a blink of an eye, you were all on a ship in the middle of the Ocean, about to choose which Daggers would fly. You were going to stay back as Backup and Mav was going to fly with them.

You knew he was going to choose him as his wingman, but you secretly begged it wasn't true. You wished it would be Hangman, but it was going to be your son.

“Choose your two Foxtrot teams.” Cyclone said.

“Payback and Fanboy. Phoenix and Bob.” You both had decided these teams together, but the Wingman was Mav's own choice.

“And your Wingman?”

After a moment of anticipation, he finally said…

“Rooster.”

There it was. Your son was flying the suicide mission. And all you could do was listen through the comms and pray.

Everyone went on Deck and walked to their Jets. As you stood by your Jet, you looked over at Rooster and noticed him talking to Hangman. You had noticed throughout the whole preparation there seemed to be some tension and.. closeness between them. There was at least something.

You turned back to your Jet, climbing inside in case they needed Backup during the mission.

As the mission began and the teams flew away, your heart was pounding. With every minute you felt your anxiety increasing, scared for the safety of your son and also your friend.

You listened closely through the comms, listening to everything…..

“Bull's-eye! Bull's-eye! Bull's-eye!"

Yes! God, yes! They did it!

But now it was time to get back alive…

The rest of the mission was a pure air fight, raw dogfighting. They just needed to make it out alive. Please.

But to your worst fear the enemy planes were focused on Rooster.

“Dagger Two defending. Shit, I'm out of flares!”

“Rooster, evade, evade!” You heard his uncle shout.

“I can't shake ‘em! They're on me! They're on me!”

You didn't know what was happening., you weren't there. You didn't see it. All You could do was listen. Listen and wait. It felt awful not being able to do anything.

There was a moment of silence, only the heavy breathing from the pilots.

“Mav! No!”

“Dagger One is hit! I repeat, Dagger One is hit! Maverick is down!”

Your breath caught in your throat. Mav was hit.

“Dagger One, Status. Status! Anyone see him? Did anyone see him?! Dagger One, come in!” You heard the panic in Rooster's voice.

“I didn't see a parachute.”

Shit.

“We have to circle back!”

You felt your heart pumping, this was all so much. You knew this was a difficult mission, hell, a suicide mission but you still hoped this wouldn't happen!

“All Daggers flow to ECP. You have bandits headed for you.”

“What about Maverick?!” There was a strain in Bradley's voice.

“Dagger Square request permission to launch and fly air cover.” You suddenly spoke up. You had to help. You needed to help.

“Negative, spare.”

Shit!

“Dagger, you are not to engage. Repeat, do not engage.”

“Dagger Two, return to carrier. Acknowledge.”

Bradley, please. Come home safe.

You also wanted to save Maverick, but not with Bandits in the air.

The silence was killing you.

“Rooster, those bandits are closing. We can't go back.” You heard Phoenix say. “Rooster, he's gone.”

It hurt, but Bob was probably right. He was gone. He was with Goose. “Maverick's gone.”

Maverick had sacrificed himself for Rooster. Your best friend had sacrificed himself for your son….

Your heart began to pound as you realized Bradley was flying back. He wanted to save Mav. You wanted to scream at him to get his ass back to the ship, but you couldn't. He wouldn't even listen.

The not knowing was killing you. Not being able to do anything. Being stuck on the ship while your son was out there fighting for his life.

After minutes that felt like hours you heard the words you only wished to hear in your darkest nightmares.

“Dagger Two is hit.”

Rooster was hit.

You could barely hold it together anymore. You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, but you had to hold it in.

“Dagger Two, come in. Dagger Two, do you copy? Dagger Two, come in.”

You were horrified. You might have just lost your only child and your best friend. Now you were alone.

One Minute turned into two. Two into five. Five into ten. Nothing. No reply, no sign of life.

You had no idea what the hell was going on in the tower, they weren't talking to you. Not one word. Was there a trace of the two? Were they still alive? You didn't know and it was one of the worst things you've ever felt.

After what felt like an eternity, you were finally given permission to launch and fly to their rescue after they had detected Rooster's ESAT.

Soon you saw them, they were involved in an air fight and obviously losing. You managed to bring your jet behind the enemy's plane without bringing any attention to yourself. That was the way you got your callsign. You were a Shadow, you could easily follow any planes without being noticed.

Just as they were about to shoot down Maverick and Rooster, you fired a shot and hit the bandit. The bandit was down and they were save. They were finally save and back with you.

You flew right through the smoke towards the F-14, you had never been happier to see a jet.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your savior speaking.”

There was a grin on your face, you had never been so glad.

“Hey, mom, you look good.”

“I am good, Bradley. I'm very good.”

“I'll see you back on Deck.” You flew back and were the first to land. You got out of the Jet and watched everybody put up a net to catch the F-14.

Once they were back on deck you didn't hesitate one second to run towards them. “Bradley!” You shouted.

Everybody came running towards them, cheering and congratulating them.

Maverick got out and first went to Hondo, while Bradley came running towards you.

“Oh, my boy, I thought I lost you. I thought you were gone.” You sobbed and took him into your arms.

“You're not getting rid of me easily, Mom.” He laughed and hugged you tightly, not letting you go for a while. “You're a hero, Bradley. I'm so so proud of you. Your- your dad would be so proud, god-” You teared up.

“I know Mom, I know.”

You parted from him so he could celebrate with the others. The other Daggers immediately came to him.

Once again you could swear there were looks between Jake and Rooster, but you didn't mention anything.

“Captain Mitchell! Captain Mitchell!” You then saw Bradley approach Pete. Without hesitating, Maverick pulled him into a hug. A hug that meant the World.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

“It's what my dad would've done.”

________________________________________

Days after the mission the whole Dagger Squad was sitting in the Hard Deck together, having drinks and cracking jokes. Bradley, of course, sat down at the piano and sang once again. The whole Bar chimed in and sang “Great balls of fire” with him.

“Oh! You're fine, so kindGot to tell this world that you're mine, mine, mine, mine!”

You could have sworn he took a glance towards Jake during that line.

[mochiajclayne]

can you tell I love lawlu's alliance so much with the number of posts I've made about it but I like to think that at some point, their alliance won't work casually and law figured that out within five minutes after proposing it, hence, he needed to reiterate whenever he gets the chance because he's already been involved with luffy way too fucking deep like he saved his life and he was there at his lowest point. and law knows grief too well, experiencing it twice in his life. they can't be normal about it because law didn't even use what he did two years ago as some kind of leverage to get luffy to agree with the alliance. in fact, he kept on saying "things will get moving whether you like it or not" and even gave a chance to the strawhats to reconsider, change their mind, and backout of it. he wasn't using the strawhats as backup with the way he protects them especially in dressrosa--he would rather break the alliance so that they can get away rather than get them involved after he was defeated by doflamingo (because it was a personal fight to begin with but luffy doesn't wanna break the alliance because lmao you're selfish torao I will make that decision and I will save you). and doflamingo, the manipulative little shit, knew what's up with lawlu to the point that he's asking the necessary questions: what do you see in luffy to the point that you'd trust him enough to directly take me down knowing how low your chances are to make that happen? your plan on making kaido mad and fighting me offered better success rates than whatever shit the strawhats decided to pull off so why are you hopeful about them? and law literally says that the strawhats can pull off fucking miracles only for luffy's devil fruit awakening to be a sun god. he trusted his past and basically his life goal at the time to luffy to the point that he needed to see through it and if luffy fails, he should die along with him. what's interesting about post-dressrosa law is his new goal: wanting to know about the will of d because luffy doesn't care but law does for both of them, because he knows luffy might've not led a tragic, checkered life like him, but he knew on some instinctive level that luffy didn't have an easy life, either. their alliance itself is beyond "working together for a mutual goal" right from the very beginning--it was like a quirk of fate, much less a coincidence that law and luffy met again and for that to take place in an abandoned government island that even the log pose doesn't point to. yeah, I am normal about this.

[chvoswxtch]

hi! could i request a fic where frank is helping reader with urges to relapse in s3lf h@rm? or maybe they already relapsed? if this is not something you’re comfortable writing please feel free to just ignore this :) i’m struggling w/ this lately so it’s just self indulgent for me lmao and your writing is ADDICTIVE. you have such a talent and i hope you’re doing well!! x

my sweet sweet sweet nonnie. I am sending you all the love I possibly can. I am so sorry that you are struggling. I know what it's like to struggle with this, and I promise you it does get better. I know everyone says that and sometimes those words can sound so hollow, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. it can't rain all the time darling 🖤

I hope you are doing well today, and I hope this brings you the comfort that you need. thank you for trusting me with this, and know that I love you and am so proud of you

just a quick psa to everyone on my frank taglist, because this is such a sensitive topic, i'm not tagging anyone in this one. if you are not comfortable with this topic or if it could be triggering for you, please sit this one out. you will not hurt my feelings, I promise.

warning: mentions of depression & self harm word count: 775

let it out.

Frank noticed everything. He was trained to look for subtle clues of threats everywhere, to anticipate them and quickly conjure a counterattack, or eliminate them before they even got a chance to strike. After that tragic day in Central Park, his sense of hypervigilance only became even more extreme. 

Which is why he knew that things were getting bad for you again.

He could see it. That bright sparkle in your eyes that could put the stars to shame grew more and more dim until it was nothing more than achromatic ash. The heaviness weighing down on your chest that turned the subconscious act of breathing into a relentless struggle and made your movements lethargic was like an astral presence only his eyes could detect. He could hear it in your voice, the melodic warmth replaced by an echoing numbness. It seemed as though each day another of your vibrant petals withered and fell until you were rendered a bare and hollow stem.

It killed Frank to see you like this. He wanted so badly to help, he just didn’t know how. You wouldn’t talk to him about it, wouldn’t tell him what you needed. But he didn’t get upset with you, because he figured you might not even know what you needed. He was growing increasingly worried because nothing he was doing seemed to help at all. Fear was an emotion Frank very rarely experienced, but he was terrified that he’d lose you to your own cruel mind. 

Things were bad right now, but it would pass. You’d fallen from the clouds of progression, backsliding until the cold hard impact of relapse bruised and rattled your bones, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t find your way back up again. It didn’t erase all the breakthroughs in your recovery. And if you couldn’t make it back up on your own, Frank would carry you himself.

Frank sat with you in the bath, enveloping you in the comfort of his body and the hot water, hoping it would soothe you. Taking care of yourself had become as hard as getting out of bed, but it was okay. He could help you with that. He’d washed your hair, taking his time to massage your scalp before gently rinsing the shampoo out completely. His large and calloused hands slowly and tenderly lathered your skin in the suds of your body wash, not missing a single inch of you. 

Your face was as blank as a pure canvas, but there was raw sorrow in your eyes and agony building up along your lash line. Frank held onto you tightly, tracing your self-inflicted scars with the pad of his thumb, applying pressure with each stroke while he spoke quietly in your ear.

“I know it hurts, baby. But you ain’t gotta let it out that way. You can get the hurt out without hurtin’ yourself. You gotta feel it, sweetheart. I know you don’t wanna, I know it feels like it’s too much, but you can’t distract yourself with a different kinda pain. It ain’t gonna make this one go away.”

Frank knew you were listening. He could see the saltwater slipping down your cheeks, your expressionless face slowly morphing into a portrait of unrefined grief. He pressed his lips softly to each of your scars, holding you even tighter in a protective embrace.

“It’s gotta heal from the inside, baby. I know it’s hard, but you ain’t gotta do this alone. I’m right here, sweetheart. Just let go, I got you.”

He could tell that you were fighting it. That you were scared once you opened that door, a tidal wave of misery would devour you entirely and trap you beneath the current until you drowned, but he wasn’t going to let that happen. His deep voice was laced with sincerity and promise as he spoke into your ear again.

“I got you.”

The choked sob that caught in your throat broke his heart. The wail that tore from the depth of your soul was the worst sound he’d ever heard. Your shoulders shook from the impact of your overwhelming emotions, but when you shattered into a thousand jagged pieces, Frank was there to collect them all. He’d patiently help you put them all back together, no matter how long it took. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, gently rocking you as he soothingly ran his fingers through your hair, pressing a reverent kiss to the crown of your head.

“There ya go, that’s it. Let it all out, sweetheart. Take as long as ya need, I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Just let it all out.”

[bossboudicca]

in this essay i will-

my rambles on johnmanny and why i love this rarepair and you should too

first off, that wink. me and mine didn't even notice it at first, and i've seen TP about a million times and the minute i spotted it i think i actually screamed out loud. like yeah right in front of my parents and family let me observe your fond little smirk and then wink at you, like these mfers were playing footsie under the damn table i tell ya.

manny kicking jp by accident, jp like "can i fuckin help you??"

but for real jp is to johnmanny as harry welsh is to winnix. at least to me.

next we have:

manny noticing john the second he walks into a room full of a bunch of other dudes in the exact same clothes with basically the exact same haircut and very similar builds. like his ass was WAITING and WATCHING that doorway for his little boyfriend.

"oH WeLL iF tHeY'Re sO cLoSe WhY DiD'nT hE uSe HiS FiRsT nAmE?"

because half the guys in that room are probably named John, NEXT.

these fond ass looks. also hilarious that they both completely turn their backs on the doorway and do not even notice jp until he's right there lmao. manny was not waiting for his buddies, he was waiting for john specifically.

size difference goes crazy here. manny is so fuckin WIDE jesus

jp like "i am married here is my wife" (i told you he's harry welsh) while john and manny are like hhaha yeah marriage definitely we're totally straight 🙃

manny: "my mom couldn't understand how i could get through high school without that wedding date set"

jp: "i could!"

could understand what jp??? HMMM??? yeah okay bud

bonus: john looking right at manny after jp's comment and manny refusing to make eye contact. read into that what you will

this one is kind of a personal mind palace thing, but i like to think that manny observed this super sweet moment between john and his dad, and really took it upon himself to look out for john when they were deployed. more on this later. *brb crying*

this next one you're just getting a screen recording because a.) i dont wanna gif the whole thing b.) i feel like hearing manny's vocal inflections and stuff is important

manny's obviously gonna be rattled after their first bit of enemy contact, and john is not the only guy with blood on him but manny still immediately did a double take when he saw the blood on john's face.

the way he asks "hey...are you hit?" he dips his head and really looks at john, like yes looking for injuries john may not have noticed but to me it's like he's trying to get john to make eye contact, so he can see if he's mentally okay as well. idk, this seems important to me as manny literally does not even glance at the guy who's actually fuckin shot until john looks over at him.

then manny's little exhale and swallow after john says he's gucci 🥺

and when john stops and stares at the deceased man, manny does too but immediately looks back to john, gauging his reaction. i feel like most of these guys are like "you're physically okay? yeah moving on as i, another marine in this hellscape jungle, have my own issues" but maybe thats just me being ignorant.

and then manny doesn't take his eyes off john for the rest of the scene. also john's tiny little nod at manny, like he knows manny is always overly concerned about him; a little wordless gesture just for him. more on The Nod later. alsdkfjalsdjlsfj

also directly after this:

john: jp go set up on that hill 🙄 manny you dig in next to me 🥰🥰

more touching and staring

quick sidebar: manny and his slutty ass open shirt like sir-

and then john with his big gorgeous brown eyes he is literally a 6 week old puppy why is he in war

next we have Manuel "I Need To Shove Past Everyone So I Can Walk Next To My Boyfriend" Rodriguez

This Look is my all time favorite. ugh i am sick about these two.

and that little hint of sadness in john's eyes like he doesn't wanna let manny go but he's gotta because duty comes first 🥲

so he cracks a little joke and lets manny go and manny looks so crushed and forces himself to smile anyway and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh his face absolutely sends me into a spiral right here

next up, personal space- dude did you really need to get RIGHT up in john's bubble like that?? (yes, yes he did)

i swear it must be in the hbo war actor manual that you have to look at your male companion's mouth X amount of times

watching chesty on the phone like "yeah but is john okay"

#bigbrowncoweyesquad

sorry this gif looks weird as hell, i cut it up and brightened it because its hard to see through all my tears

so yeah! this is the last time they see each other alive! i am okay!

it was something i didn't notice at first, but it looks like manny intentionally pushes john down and out of harms way, whereas i originally thought they just ran into each other and it was a lucky accident.

more prolonged eye contact and then the little tiny nod is back from earlier 😭 i am unwell about those two fucking nods and what they imply

circling back to earlier and how i mentioned maybe manny seeing that interaction between john and his father and taking it upon himself to be john's protector....yeah...yeah

continuing on-

no "hi jp are you okay, i noticed you almost got shot in the fuckin head last night", just straight into "where's my husband??"

also, to me it looks like the sun is close to being directly overhead when john starts asking about manny-

-by the time he finds him the sun is setting, so john literally spent HOURS looking for manny. im sure he was doing some other stuff but the show seems to suggest that's pretty much all he was doing.

how long do we think john sat with manny's body before going to get jp omg im gonna throw up

the way they carried him, john would have been looking at his face but he's looking away the whole time and im in pain about it

john doesn't look at his face at all.

and then of course we've got john's musings after the fact. in the short time we see him in combat/around combat he doesn't really seem to ruminate on things like this, he kinda takes everything in quietly and moves on. but here, he really sits with manny's death and i don't think he ever really got over it even though he shut down this conversation with jp after a few seconds. you know, because of the golf scene and his flashbacks to manny 🥲

anyway that's all i have for now because tumblr won't let me add any more gifs and screenshots and i'm sure those of you who stuck around to read this whole thing have had enough already lol

tldr: john and manny are tragic husbands and i think about them a lot

also shoutout to my new friend @tahnawanda for encouraging me to actually finish this post. rarepair solidarity ✊

[burningvelvet]

more rambling thoughts about wuthering heights now that i've finished my re-read

1 wuthering heights is basically the looney tunes if the looney tunes were goth. 90% of the novel is people arguing, dying, and running around threatening to kill each other, and often all three of those at once.

2 love how it's filled with dark humor. "he's such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him" is such a camp thing to say about the terminally ill child you abhor and who you spend weeks trying to set up on dates with your dead lover's child so you can steal her property when your son finally dies. heathcliff lecturing his son on Seduction 101 right in front of cathy 2.0, trying ridiculously to play cupid and compel them to fall in love with each other before giving up and just kidnapping her instead... surely he's the most insane brontë man?

3 i can't remember what i had for dinner last night but nelly dean can remember what the weather was like on any given friday twenty years ago (love her and her snarky comments)

4 love how after nelly finishes telling the story to lockwood she's like "any way. so you know cathy 2.0 is single right ;)))" and then cathy 2.0 shows zero interest in him. so then he's like "oh i just remembered i have somewhere to be :/" then fucks off to london for nearly a year then when he comes back nelly is like "nvm as it turns out cathy and hareton are actually soulmates lol who knew! gee, it's a good thing she didn't like you!" and he's just silently suffering. emily was just fucking around here. hindley was the only linton/earnshaw/heathcliff who was wild enough to marry someone who didn't share either his gene pool or his neighborhood.

5 i imagine joseph to look like smeagol from the lotr films but taller

6 [heathcliff, after stabbing his alcoholic arch nemesis and then pushing his servant into the puddle of the blood] "Wash that stuff away; and mind the sparks of your candle—it is more than half brandy!” LMAO

7 this opinion list is just turning out to be a list of the most insane heathcliff moments but truly the novel should've just been called "heathcliff"

8 heathcliff's weird paternal feelings for hareton, saving hareton's life, him saying he would truly love him if only he wasn't hindley's child, basically giving hareton his blessing to love cathy 2.0 toward the end... so oddly endearing

9 heathcliff walking out just before the "i am heathcliff" part of her speech. why WHY

10 hindley protecting isabella from heathcliff before she flees was nice and i wish we saw more of their dynamic around the heights. honestly aside from the child neglect (which is par for the course in wuthering heights) hindley is a pretty sympathetic character; his rivalry with heathcliff was fueled by both sides and truly the fault of their father for pitting them against each other by letting heathcliff usurp hindley's place of favoritism as a boy. hindley's gambling and drinking, his general dissipation and failure to secure his son's future, are all tragic.

11 i think hindley/edgar/heathcliff are all interesting foils for each other; they each lose the women they love and are left to be single fathers, and each responds to the task totally differently. if we include mr. earnshaw, all the fathers in the story essentially fail their children after all the mothers die. hindley and heathcliff have a special parallel through their lifelong brotherly competition, the women they love both dying in childbirth, and in their own deaths. hindley slowly kills himself while ignoring everyone around him; heathcliff also kills himself, but only after trying to systematically ruin the lives of everyone around him. they also say that they want to kill each other but fail when they try; heathcliff nearly kills hindley but ends up saving his life at the last minute.

12 heathcliff jr. is so terrified of heathcliff sr. and so traumatized and petrified by fear and he doesn't deserve the hate he gets for being annoying. he's been sheltered his whole life, his mother just died, he was sent to his uncle/cousin only to be immediately torn away from them to be abused by a stranger who treats him horribly, he's terminally ill, he's still a kid, he's threatened into marrying someone he barely knows, etc.

13 if any of you have seen the british comedy show "the young ones" that's literally hindley's household in wuthering heights when joseph/hareton/hindley/heathcliff/isabella all live together. the filth, the slop for dinner, the petty games, the violence, the fierce hatred yet weird loyalty to each other, etc.

14 i really wonder how cathy would have reacted to heathcliff's treatment of everyone else if only she had known the full details (ie his harsh abuse of isabella, his son, cathy 2.0, etc.)

15 heights was my first brontë novel but i think i like jane eyre and tenant better now that i've read them all back to back! next on the list is likely agnes gray. anne, my underrated queen!

[thrashkink-coven]

ok ok ok ok ok

I’ve been wanting to talk ab Arcane for a minute because I just binged it all last week

omg

niche post for both the demonolatry scene and fans of arcane lmao

ok first and foremost let me say that I do completely think that Jinx and Silco’s relationship is toxic, even if not abusive. Silco isolates a child, manipulates her into doing his bidding, puts a gun in her hand when she is clearly unwell etc. Not healthy, not good, even if it is loving. And borderline predatory (although I really like to give Silco the benefit of the doubt and assume that he wasn’t sexually interested in Jinx in any way). He definitely groomed her even if it wasn’t sexual. This is a fact.

Please please do not think that I am romanticizing this relationship or saying it was good. it wasn’t. Shipping Jinx and Silco is weird as fuck. The writing was fucking immaculate and I absolutely love their dynamic (beautiful, tragic as fuck) but that doesn’t make it morally right and we definitely should not encourage it.

ok, glad we got that out of the way.

While watching this, omfg. I saw so much of Lucifer and I’s relationship in Silco and Jinx, it was almost uncanny. The way he talks to her, the way they move around each other. The baptism scene.

Their playfulnesses with each other, their vulnerability with each other. The way he cherishes her gifts. His understanding of how damaged she is and his gentleness with her because of that. His guidance. The last words he says to her. DAMN IT.

I first “met”/ reached out to Lucifer as an adult. He approached me when I was a grown man with the maturity and insight to make smart decisions about him. Our relationship didn’t start super affectionate or familial, and he didn’t groom me into working with him since I was a child. I’m glad I didn’t know him until I was an adult. I simply did not have the cognitive ability to understand our relationship until then.

When we met I had recently been kicked out of my parents house, shunned by my family, and was generally suffering emotionally in a big way. Started hating myself, wondering what my problem is.

So when I saw that damn scene of this abandoned little child (powder) clinging to the arms of this psychopath obsessed with revolution, and him embracing her, saying “it’s okay, we’ll show them together.”

FUCK. THAT WAS ME. THAT WAS HIM. I know exactly how that feels.

When I first clung to Lucifer, the first time I was actually vulnerable with him like that, I felt like a child. And he, ancient and wise, lead me like a father.

and that fucking baptism scene where Silco is like “you need to be born anew as Jinx and let the old you die”

THAT’S HIM. THATS LUCIFER, HE DID THAT SHIT TO ME!!!!

Like almost bar for bar, when I was coming into my chosen name and entering initiation. WHAT THE FUCK. GET OUT MY HEAD

watching the show, it’s easy for me to see that their relationship is a toxic trauma bond codependent thing. Silco pushes Jinx deeper into her isolation and insanity, he encourages the worst sides of her, thinking it’s what’ll benefit her and himself. He’s not good for her.

And Lucifer, while he never encourages anything self destructive from me, from the perspective of outsiders like my family, he is pulling me deeper into the darkness. He gave me true liberation, but to everyone else it seems like he’s poisoning me. They just don’t get it. They can never understand what we are, why we need each other.

And I wanna reiterate, Lucifer is not a toxic influence in my life, our relationship is very healthy and doesn’t have the questionable themes that Silco and Jinx have. He doesn’t isolate me (he actually makes me reach out to others for support) or encourage harmful behaviour, he didn’t groom me since I was a child. He influences me, but I wouldn’t say he manipulates me. He’s not weird like that.

But I’d be lying if I said that we aren’t codependent on each other to some degree, I obviously more than him. A large part of our relationship was built on our joint pain and the understanding we have of each other because of that pain.

so that element of “I know everyone says you’re bad but you’re the only one who embraces me like this, who doesn’t cringe at the things I’ve done, who tells me I’m perfect just the way I am”

FUCK.

That shit hit me hard.

[coolmanjohnny]

SAW: (unrated) rant

Okay. I just watched the unrated version of Saw (2004) in theaters. So for some reason, they alter the ending for the unrated version of Saw. I have no idea why they chose to do this. I didn't see much discussion going over the details so I thought I'd go over it and why I think its inferior to the original cut. (Forgive me if I seem nitpick-y, I just love the original film so much haha. Totally fine if you like the unrated ver., I'm just sharing my thoughts here.)

To start, the unrated is advertised as a version with more gore/blood, which it does fine on that part. There are a few extra seconds of shots, for instance, the scene where Amanda is sifting through organs, some of the crime scene photos, and the wire trap maze is slightly longer. Here is a good article that goes over the Director's Cut with more details if you are interested. (I believe the Director's Cut is the same, if not very similar, to the unrated version? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) Also, I think the colors are also less blue? I can't confirm this though. I believe there may be a few other details changed as well, but they're not super relevant. Feel free to share any ones I'm missing just for fun though.

These extra shots are fine, thumbs up emoji. My problem starts and ends with the final moments of Saw (unrated). This is Tumblr. You all know the ending to Saw and are probably obsessed with it. It's incredibly impactful and angsty. Its one of my favorite ending sequences of all time. I still think about Adam being left to die alone often. RIP.

Now, lets go over what's changed in Saw (unrated)'s ending:

Some of the final lines are cut out. (Why???)

For some reason, they cut the line where Adam asks, "Am I gonna be okay?" and Larry turns back and says, "I wouldn't lie to you." Why would they do this? I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they thought that it contradicted with Lawrence's character, since he is in fact a liar/adulterer? Maybe they thought it was too "hopeful"? Homophobia? (joke)

I think that it's really a shame, because it makes Larry much more likable imo. This one moment is representative of his character development in the film. There are a lot of complex emotions tied with that one line. For once, Lawrence isn't lying to Adam. He truly does want to help. At the same time, you can tell that he feels uncertain. He doesn't know if he actually will be able to make it back in time (if even at all).

Notice how he responds to Adam's question in a roundabout way. He doesn't know if Adam will be okay.

In a way, Jigsaw's trap did work. Lawrence learned empathy. LMAO. It is also makes Adam so much more tragic, any last glimmers of hope he had left get ripped away as soon as he realizes that Jigsaw isn't who he thought it was. They are both fucked. (Ignore that Saw 3D exists for a second here, lol. I definitely think that the original implication here was that Larry is screwed. Either Kramer gets to him, or he bleeds out.)

Here is the original scene for reference:

2. The end credits are changed.

Saw ends with Adam's haunting screams bleeding into the end credits. There's about 20-30 seconds of silence/very subtle music. Then, it leads into the song "Bite The Hand that Bleeds" by Fear Factory. I just LOVE the angst.

Now, lets see what the unrated version is like. (I had to really dig to find this lol.) Obviously, there is no longer licensed music. It instead plays the "Saw theme". (I believe Hello Zepp/Overture is the official name of the song?)

It's...fine. (Once again, forgive me for nitpicking. I'm starting to think that I may be overreacting a bit, lol.)

I sort of understand why they would change the licensed music. It makes the first film feel more "connected" with the sequels; now they all have matching theme songs. (Another idea is that they simply didn't get the rights back to the original song for the re-release. I'd have to do more research on this.) However, it still makes me sad, lol. I just love how edgy and aggressively 2000s the original end credits feel. It matches the film's tone so well imo. The filmography of Saw reminds me a lot of early 2000s nu-metal music videos (unique colors, over-edited to hell, etc.).

I want to really emphasize the importance of film preservation in this post. Thankfully, the original theatrical cut of Saw is pretty easily accessible. (However, this isn't the case for all films. Star Wars is probably the most famous example.) I am just a little saddened that some first-time viewers will end up watching this version of the film without being aware of these changes. I love Saw so much you guys

[lightningant]

I've never seen characterizations of Tom and Harry the way yours is. I love how neurotic and messed up they both are -- they're *SO CUTE* too. <3 <3 <3

Tom is just so exhausted and cynical and Harry is a manic catastrophe with sooo many crossed wires and they're HILARIOUS. XD

And just so well written, I cannot tell you how distracted I was for at least a week after I read what you had for your fic -- I truly, truly admire your narration and dialogue and characterizations (I already said that but PLEASE I LOVE THEM SO **BAD** >O< ) Soooo funny and well made.

They're realistic! Tom and Harry are so messy and also normal people at the end of the day who make mistakes and aren't super cool all the time (really, they're utter dorks, and you TOTALLY show thatt) but also they're competent and scary and stubborn and you just have suchh a nice blend of their facets and I JUST....aghhh, I love itt.

Also I ADORE your designs -- I love how Tom is so sickly and neat (you said it best "Victorian child with tuberculosis" LMAO), and Harry is so IDK, he's just a Guy but in the most wonderful way -- I'm not actually good with words :,))))

I just love your art style in general, it's like, realistic yknow. You don't get rid of normal people "imperfections", they're a part of the design or enhance them -- I don't think the word imperfections is right, I just mean like, you don't exclude non-conventionally attractive aspects of bodies or facial expressions??? Idk, I'm trying here, I really am. Just, just, just I like it a lot and I wanna be like that toooooo >.<

IIIIIIII dunno if I have accurately gotten anything across or even given an actual good compliment in this entire thing but anyways you're very cool and awesome and also PLEASE forget that I said they were Babygirl I've never used that word before in my LIFEE and don't know if that was right at all -- if it was nevermind I meant it all and am so cool -- ANYWAYS bye :,)

I don't think I've succeeded in lessening my embarrassment but uhhhhh, I hope I've at least articulated myself better :,)))

Askbomb swag. Thank you, this message was so sweet :) I shall try to match energies.

One of the things I love most is that the kind of person who puts up pretensions is, innately, trying to hide something about themselves they find sub-par. Tom isn't just a scary and incredibly powerful domineering sigma male who is a master manipulator, he is a person who is actively attempting to turn himself into that man, and in my fic he is still a teenager and still tripping his way through that mental image he has of himself. The two worst ages to ever be are 15 and 20; fifteen, when you are ready to shed childhood but don't know what maturity looks like just yet, and 20, when you are ready to become your own person and achieve adulthood, picking your way across existence-defining beliefs. And his only friend for the past like, 7 months? has been his 16-year-old self who has the single-minded objective of looking cool and mature to his adult self. A hell of his own making.

Harry is also 20. He is one of those 'unusually mature for his age' kids and he has an inflated sense of his own righteousness and capability, despite being the actual one with the emotional range of a teaspoon (he just knows to keep it himself). There is no way Harry would detect he is having a manic fit, especially if he is having one that is triggered by his arrested feelings on Sirius. It's incredibly fun writing him perform this extremely risky and reality-altering plan and his plan was "idk, kill him?" and picking shit up off the ground whenever he sees it, the DADA position included. our hero.

Beautiful tragic terminally ill gothic prince / fit jock is really a match made in heaven aesthetically. Cannot get enough of it

Thank you for art compliment too ^_^ I used to lean more to anime fandoms so Harry Potter really let me stretch my legs on more 'normal people' facial features like big noses and soft chins and I'm glad it's clear how much fun I'm having doing that. Yay! Though one of the compliments I've always gotten that I've always been proud of is how distinct the way I draw expressions is.

No no...you're right. Tom is absolutely a babygirl. And Harry...well he was certainly Ginny's babygirl, and I'm sure a part of him is really itching to have someone put their hand on the small of his back 😔