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quimichi · 6 months ago

Text

-ˏˋ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ CRUSH HDCS ࿐ྂ Pt. 1.....

WARNING: × pure fluff in my opinion

SUMMARY: just some idiots with a crush...you :)

CHARACTERS: Aether, Albedo, Al-haitham, Amber, Arlecchino, Ayaka, Ayato & Baizhu x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.537

AETHER

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Paimon is so done with his constant ranting and crying about you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 She had to stop herself from telling you so often like "Just PLEASE date him already" because she couldn't just fall into her besties back like that

ᯓᡣ𐭩 you would think he doesn't really like you cause he's all quite. Wrong, he actually jusz tries to cope with his rising heat and nervousness around you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 did he once tell you that you smell nice even tho you were sweating lile a sinner in church? Yes

ᯓᡣ𐭩 did he also tell you that you look a bit different and like you haven't slept good after a haircut?...yes

ᯓᡣ𐭩 listen, he was concerned for you-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 everything was so embarrassing for him he thought you hate him now--- well, you didn't. Its hard not to find this weird and awkward ball of sunshine nice

ᯓᡣ𐭩 he also helps you out a lot, no matter whats the issue he's ready to help. And Paimon is the third wheel

ᯓᡣ𐭩 sometimes when he's nervous and talks to you he like suddenly needs to swallow down spit cause it gets stuck in his throat?? Idk how to explain it but i have this issue lol and its so hard to cover up the swallowing cause then people know youre nervous-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 literally once walked into a wall because he was looking at you. Luckily no one saw...except Paimon--she won't let him forget that ever

ᯓᡣ𐭩 speaking of Paimon, bro literally asked her for advice, and she was useful? Hey, look. Shes more than just emergency food-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she was like, "If you truly love someone, you cook them something good! Love goes through the stomach!"

ᯓᡣ𐭩 and thats why he desperately cooks for you every day---just put Paimon out of her misery and kiss him already

ALBEDO

ᯓᡣ𐭩 has no idea how and why it happened but he won't complain, you are pretty so-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 kinda takes it as an opportunity to study love a bit lol. Its not like he's dumb, far from that, he knows what hes feeling and why he feels attracted to you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 but somehow he can't tell you, words fail him to explain why although he knows

ᯓᡣ𐭩 is confused and is irritated lol

ᯓᡣ𐭩 did tell Succrose about it and my girl can hardly keep secrets-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh and like around a week after he noticed his crush on you he confessed

ᯓᡣ𐭩 he's pretty blunt and honest, straightforward if you will.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 there's honestly not much to say, he knows he likes you, also probably knows it's mutual, logic conclusion would be that he confesses so you two can consider a relationship after some time

ᯓᡣ𐭩 easy??? Like what's not to get???

AL-HAITHAM

ᯓᡣ𐭩 the strongest feeling he ever had for someone else was a book character-and that's also pretty rare cause he doesn't read fiction he only reads facts-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 treats you normally with a sprinkle of kindness

ᯓᡣ𐭩 you don't notice, no one would notice. Good for Al-Haitham cause ew what if people realize hes just a regular human being?? Can't have that

ᯓᡣ𐭩 would tell you to take breaks and eat an apple or other fruits in those breaks so you can concentrate better afterwards. Oh and take a breath of fresh air

ᯓᡣ𐭩 keeps the bitch face on. Only drops it when you're not looking.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 finds it incredibly cute when you play with your hair or bite your lip. Your concentration is adorable...

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you read like him, he would consider reading one of your favorite books, even if it's stupid and not his thing at all. He wants a good reason to talk to you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 has no idea how to get out of the "I'm so fucking cool" bs to actually get closer to you without seeming cringe or needy

ᯓᡣ𐭩 feelings aren't his thing but hey, he trys. Just pay more attention and maybe you make it easier for him by doing the first step

AMBER

ᯓᡣ𐭩 nah cause she's so honest about it-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 probably all Mondstadt and their granny's know that Amber has a crush on you, except for you....dumbass

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she always asks you if you wanna join her on god knows what adventures

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she also always packs lunch for you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 like i said, she is pretty vocal about it and shows it quite well that she has an interest in you....and youre just brushing it off as kindness

ᯓᡣ𐭩 always ready to help! And she doesn't even need a thank you. Helping you is enough to make her happy, seeing your relieved is all she needs.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 gifts you flowers on a regular basis because they're just as pretty as you ♡

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's so straightforward about her crush on you it's insane. People think she's dating you already, well wrong--

ᯓᡣ𐭩 big talk and actions but when it comes to beinh very vocal about her feelings she shuts down-she would stutter and blush not knowing what to say-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 like, pls stop being so oblivious to her attempts and just tell her you like her--then she'll confess too!

ARLECCHINO

ᯓᡣ𐭩 look, she's a busy woman (father), she doesn't have time for stupid crushes. She'll either tell you immediately once she figured it out, or just waits till the feelings disappear over time.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 why? If she is uncertain that this would work out with a fatui harbinger, then she wouldn't confess at all. You won't notice a thing.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 but if she does feel like it could work out, maybe not immediately because you need time...and yeah maybe she needs to know a 100% too, she would court you (??)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 presenting you the finest things from all nations. Also giving you ifts from your home region cause...well maybe you miss it? And if you're from Fontaine she gives you only the most expensive shit hidden from all normal ordinary people-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she sneaks her way in your heart ngl-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 and if she ever sees you with one of the things she gave you, she would make sure others know. Who knows who might have an interest in you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 would also make some space in her schedule just for you. Lets you know too. No, not to make you feel bad, nahhh. She wants you to know how important you are to her.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 and that she will always have time for you no matter what.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's kinda advertising herself. "Look, I'm the baddest bitch around."

AYAKA

ᯓᡣ𐭩 also makes space in her very busy schedule just for you. And if she can't find the time so you both can be alone, she takes you with her to her appointments and everything.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 wants her brothers 'ok' for it all. She wouldn't feel quite comfy if Ayato wouldn't like you. Thomas opinion is also very important to her.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if she every plays this weird cooking game with you, she trys to make it tame. She doesn't want you too disgusted or near throwing up cause then she'd feel bad

ᯓᡣ𐭩 and also trys cooking for you normally. She trys ok, she's getting better and better. Takes this as an excuse to cook your favorite meals.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 dances with you! She's shy about it but she does. Ayaka teaches you her favorite dances and moves, and would get quite close to you by doing this...plus for her

ᯓᡣ𐭩 but besides this she's very shy about her crush on you and won't admit it very fast. Even after months she wouldn't dare say a word about it to you or hint anything to drastic.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 tbh, it has to be you who would need to make the first step lol

AYATO

ᯓᡣ𐭩 very obvious...I mean...he gives you flowers, jewelry, new clothes. He takes you to events or dinners, important meetings. Lets you stay in the Kamisato estate for free. Bitch you even have your own room??

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ITS SO OBVIOUS

ᯓᡣ𐭩 i can't tell you more, except, just...just talk with him about it. Confront him and say, "yes" that's all he wants to hear from you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 and see you happy ofc

BAIZHU

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if Chansheng can keep her mouth shut he wouldn't tell you at all. Or at least not so fast.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you know, you know. Baizhus story is...something. i won't spoiler tho

ᯓᡣ𐭩 because of that he needs to be very sure about it all. He can't just jump into something that might not work out at all or have no future in the beginning.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 he would show his interest with nice little gestures. Giving you medicine for free, helping your loved ones when sick also for free, smiling just a bit more at you or teaching you about herbs and all.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 he's very gentle with you, scared he might break you. In truth it's actually him who would break--

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Qiqi would notice, she's a smart girl ofc she would. Yeah she knew you two were a thing before you two knew lol

ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh yeah and Changsheng blew it all-

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Your hands wouldn't shake so much if you wouldn't love her"

TAGLIST ♡

@hehothrowawayfae @lucienbarkbark @ryu--19 @theblades @rikasurl

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #aether x reader #al haitam x reader #amber x reader #ayaka x reader #ayato x reader #baizhu x reader #arlecchino x reader #x f!reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #genshin impact paimon #genshin headcanons #genshin hcs

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soaps-mohawk · 6 months ago

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I just saw someone talk about Simon Riley being a rapist and the only way they tried to confirm it is by saying that he is a war criminal and all soldiers are misogynistic and sexist and they also talked about how he dreamt of hurting women in the comics when that's quite literally a normal reaction by being raped by both men and women (what I mean is that abused people sometimes dream of becoming someone they're not and don't want to be) but they conveniently forgot to mention how that "dream" was a nightmare. (Just wanted to rant about this and see your opinion)

The sigh I let out when I saw this ask this morning.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing this discourse. Not just in this fandom but in every fandom. Maybe it's just because I'm old and my frontal lobe is fully developed, or maybe it's because I was in fandom back in the days where there were no tags. You were lucky if you got a warning at the beginning of a fic. Most fics you walked in blind and if you didn't like something? You hit the back button and found something else.

This sudden mainstreaming of fandom has ruined these spaces. People come in, refuse to "learn the rules" that most of us learned by just existing in these spaces and watching others interact. There were no written rules back then. We learned by observing and occasionally being guided on fandom etiquette by those more experienced than us. Now it's just like people come in expecting fandom to be like every other space on the internet and then get defensive and angry when they realize it's not. Fandom is cringy. It's nerdy. It's happy and sunshine and it's dark and ugly like every media out there. Us creators and those of us more experienced in fandom have been screaming how to exist in fandom spaces from the rooftops but no one is listening and then everyone wonders why creators are leaving these spaces. Why fandoms keep getting abandoned.

All of that aside, this discourse about FICTIONAL characters pisses me off. Simon Riley is a FICTIONAL character. He has no morality, there is no right or wrong because he's FICTIONAL. You can make him do whatever you want to do because he's NOT REAL. You can give him wings and have him fly and guess what?? Cool, that can happen because he's NOT REAL. You want to make him a rapist? Cool, you can do that because he's FICTIONAL. You can make him whatever you want to make him because he's a character. He's not a living, breathing human being. There are no consequences of his actions because he's FICTIONAL!!!

Don't even get me started on this sudden discourse about dark fics and dead dove that's appeared recently. Dark media has existed for literal centuries. The Epic of Gilgamesh from 1800 BCE. The Odyssey. Mostellaria by Plautus. The Castle of Otranto published in the 1700s. Frankenstein. Dracula. The works of Edgar Allan Poe. Lolita. Hell, look at the Bible. The Bible, especially the old testament, is fucked up. Even in the watered down, bastardized King James version, the things the old testament "God" supposedly did, when you sit and actually think about them outside the lens of religious brainrot, are super fucked up.

People have been creating dark media for a long time. Horror has existed for a long time because it plays to our worst fears. It gives us a safe way to express those fears and to experience them without having to experience them first hand. You wouldn't bitch at a horror movie director for including things like rape and gore and murder in their movies?? So why is writing different? You think every horror movie director agrees with the things they portray on screen? You think every horror movie director would go out and murder someone just because they made a movie about it? No, because we're allowed to portray things in all forms of media, we're allowed to write things without morally agreeing with them. Guess what, most people that write rape or assault or violence, aren't going out and doing those things in real life. They don't support those things in real life. In fact, people that write dark fanfics are some of the loudest protesters against those things.

If you want to make Simon Riley a real person, guess what? He's not going to be even morally grey. Most people in the military are not good people. They're not. The people that are good people in the military, or were in the military, are the ones saying that the loudest. People that got tricked into joining, people that got promised things, people that did it because they had no other choice and then realized what it was really like after getting in? Those are the people to listen to. Not Call of Duty, not the people trying to convince you to join because they're glorified sales people and have a quota to fill. Look up videos of what happened in Iraq and Afghanistan at the hands of American and British soldiers. You would not like Simon Riley if he were a real person.

But he's not real. He's FICTIONAL. Even as a fictional character, he's not a good person. So many Call of Duty fans put on the blinders and ignore the fact that these men are out here committing awful acts of violence and killing people because they're "the good guys." People love to forget that Price literally kidnapped a woman and a child and had them held at gunpoint to get information out of someone. Not only that, he was okay with it. If he were a real person that did that, you would not be questioning if he were a good person or not. You can tell the people that have never played the games or watched playthroughs, who only know these characters through the lenses of fanfics and artwork and headcanons.

Call of Duty is military propaganda. They paint these men as heroes, make it easy to put the blinders up and ignore the things that are happening, the things they're doing so that they can convince young men that they want to do that and they should join the military so they can go out and do that too. That's Call of Duty's audience. That's who they're creating these games for. These young, impressionable boys who get excited by the violence and the action who will go on to fill quota numbers for recruiters. Call of Duty was not made for us, the people writing fanfiction and creating art for it. This side of the Call of Duty fandom will be the first to tell you all of this.

This side of the fandom creates fanworks which would turn Activision's eyes red. We babygirlify their military propaganda because it actively goes against what Activision is trying to do. It goes against what Call of Duty is at its core. Sure, some people water it down a lot, and others keep it more realistic to what these men would be like in real life, because it's FICTION. You can portray these characters however you want because that's what fiction is for.

And guess what, anon? Rape kinks exist. Consensual non-consent exists. It's well known. And guess what? Victims of sexual assault and rape can develop those kinks as a coping mechanism. Here's a study from the NIH website, and if that's too complex for you, here's a VICE news article that uses that study. People can write rape and rape kinks and CNC and noncon and not support it in real life. People can write those things to bring awareness to the fact that they happen to people in real life, or because people in real life have those kinks. People write those things to help victims, to support them. It's cathartic. Dark media most often is created for catharsis. It gives people an outlet, and it allows people to experience those things in a safe, controlled environment for whatever reason.

And that's the thing, anon. People don't have to give anyone a reason for why the consume that kind of media. Creators don't owe anyone an explanation as to why they create it. It's none of your business, and if you're not comfortable with it, then don't consume it. You can turn off the TV if a horror movie is too much for you. People walk out of theaters all the time because a movie is not what they were expecting, be it because it was bad or because it was too graphic or violent or disgusting. You start reading a book and you don't like it for whatever reason? You put the book down and pick up another. Why do people have such a problem with not reading fanfics they don't like? Why do people have such a hard time just blocking creators that make things they don't want to see. Most dark fic and dead dove creators put ample warnings on their blog and their posts. That's why those tags exist. You don't like it and you don't want to see it? Then block and move on and let others enjoy what they want to enjoy.

You pearl clutchers are ruining fandom and soon there won't be anything for you to enjoy. If you can't handle fandom, then don't be in it. There is no algorithm here. You're going to see things you don't want to see and it's very easy to just block and filter tags. There was a time on Tumblr where you couldn't filter tags. I remember those days. You had to download the X-kit extension to block things, and that only worked on desktop. The fact Tumblr gave us the option to filter tags on the site and on the app was a big deal when it was rolled out. I remember so many people that didn't want to use the app when it first came out because you couldn't block potentially triggering tags.

It's not a creator's problem if you were triggered by their media. Life doesn't come with trigger warnings and it's a blessing that it's become so normalized to include warnings at the beginnings of fics. There's websites that exist for other forms of media that will give trigger warnings. If you can look up trigger warnings for a movie and decide not to watch it, you can look at the trigger warnings for fics and decide not to interact with it. You're not out here emailing the directors and producers of movies that include triggers you don't like, telling them they're awful people for including those things in their movie and they shouldn't. Yet you have no problem coming into the comments and inboxes creators who do this FOR FREE because we wrote one dark fic. Because we wrote something that's triggering to you.

And yes, some abuse victims go on to be abusers, some people continue that cycle because they don't have the help and support to break it. It's a sad thing that happens, but it happens. It happens in the fictional world and it happens in real life. People can make that happen to fictional characters for whatever reasons they want.

I've written dark fics. I've written several. I consume "disturbing" media for fun. I've read books and watched movies that would send these pearl clutchers to the hospital. Hell, I've probably written things (some published, some that will never see the light of day) that would turn these pearl clutchers inside out. Guess what? That's okay because it's FICTION. It's cathartic. I don't have to give my reasons why because it's no one's business except those I decide to tell because I trust them and I know they'll support me. I don't support those things in real life. Just because I write for Call of Duty doesn't mean I support the things the game portrays. If you consume Call of Duty media be it the games or fanfiction, does that mean you support what the game supports? What the creators of the games support? What militaries around the world support?

Think about that next time.

I’ve made my stance very clear here before, but I’ll do it again. In real life, I am anti military, anti war, anti gun violence, anti genocide, anti fascism, anti terf, anti homophobia, anti conservative, anti rape, anti domestic violence, anti colonialism and pro choice.

Just because I may create or consume media with those things in it, does not mean I support them. It's high time some of these pearl clutchers learn that.

The next time you want to come into a creator's inbox or comments and spew hatred towards them because of the things they write, why don't you do something useful with your time instead.

This will be my only discussion on this topic. I will not be answering any more asks like this. I will delete and block anyone who tries to come "well actually"-ing into my inbox. If you don't agree with this stance, then get off my blog and block me.

#free Palestine #free congo #free Sudan #free everyone living under a colonial apartheid regime #this was not directed at you anon #I just used you in the general sense #unless you think like that then it was #answered

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larluce · 4 months ago

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I had an idea for a Post canon merthur AU!!

I don't know if you have seen Sakura Card Captor? Well, there is a character called Yukito that has double personality/two alter egos. One that is a regular human being with sunshine personality called Yukito and the other that is a literal Angel/powerful creature that is cold and merciless called Yue. The interesting thing about this character is that, while Yue is aware that Yukito exists and can access to Yukito's memories, Yukito doesn't have the same privilege. Yukito, as far as he knows, he is just a regular teen student that sometimes has mental gaps.

So I wondered, what if Merlin, due to all the trauma he went through or maybe through a spell he did to himself, splited his personality in two so he could handle the long wait for Arthur's return better? One would be Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer that ever lived that also incarnates the worst aspects of him, basically Dark Merlin in all his glory, and the other one would be a Merlin without his memories, ergo, without all his traumas, his personality would be series 1 innocent Merlin, but this Merlin doesn't have magic (or rather he has it, but is blocked) and he thinks he is a common mortal man.

So one night Arthur finally returns and it's Merlin who finds him when he comes out of the lake (Emrys made sure Merlin always lived close to the lake). Of course, he's startled an somewhat scared but a feeling inside him urges him to help this stranger. The man is wearing a knight armor and talks old english for some reason. (Merlin never thought his extra studies in old english that he took for fun would actually come on handy). The man only says nonesense as he helps him out of the lake and takes him to his home thought. Apparently the stranger firmly believes he is King Arthur and that he is Merlin the wizard. He has to repeat him several times that he isn't, but they do share the name though.

Merlin: (gives Arthur a change of clothes and says in old english) Here. These are the biggest clothes I have. They might fit you and I put some blankets on the couch for you to sleep.

Arthur: (doesn't take the clothes and just stares at him)...

Merlin: (thinking he didn't speak the language correctly) I said-

Arthur: (heartbroken) You really don't remember me, do you?

Merlin: (sighs) No. I don't know you. I'm sorry.

Arthur: (almost desperate) You do! I don't know what they did to you or what happened to this place, but I'm going to figure it out. I promise!

Merlin: (smiles) Sure you will. (Thinks) He must have some mental affliction, poor man. (Says as he leaves the clothes on the couch) I'll get you some hot chocolate. (Makes a move to go to the kitchen, but has a sudden headache and faints)

Arthur: Merlin! (Runs and catches him before he hits the floor, worried) Merlin, are you alright? Please, wake up! Merlin (shakes him)

Emrys: (opens his eyes that are glowing gold) My king (his eyes water) You are back. (Craddles Arthur's face)

So Emrys explains his condition to Arthur and also that 1500 years have passed and there's probably a catastrophy coming their way since Arthur is now back and all. Obviously, it's a lot to process for Arthur and he doesn't take it all well at first, but he calms down and accepts everything eventually. Arthur can't help but notice this version of Merlin,despite crying for him at the beginning, seems void of emotion most of the time.

Emrys does a spell on Arthur so he can speak modern english and tells him he will switch back to being Merlin soon.

Emrys: (serious) You can tell him you were delirious due to almost drowning or that you had some mental affliction. He already believes that anyways.

Arthur: I'm not going to lie to him, Merlin.

Emrys: I'm not Merlin. He IS Merlin and he's not going to believe you are King Arthur.

Arthur: Why can't you stay like this?

Emrys: I'm too dangerous when I'm in control for too long. Merlin is harmless and can actually be your friend.

Arthur: You are my friend!

Emrys: (coldly) No, Arthur. I'm your weapon, your protector at best, but nothing more.

Arthur: I don't believe that!

Merlin: Believe what you want. (Turns his back to Arthur)

Arthur: And I won't lie to him either!

Merlin: Tell him what you want (Eyes glowing, about to switch)

Arthur: Mer-I mean Emrys! (Stops him by holding his arm and Enrys turns to him) When will I see you again?

Emrys: When I'm needed or when you call me. Don't abuse though. Merlin might get suspicious if he has too many mental gaps. (Switchs back to Merlin and faints again)

Arthur: (catches him before he hits the floor) This better not become an habit.

Time goes by. Merlin still believes Arthur is crazy, but at least he speaks english now. Merlin does find strange the Arthur has no document, nor he is register in the sistem apparently. Merlin doesn't have the heart to get this "King Arthur" out of his house though, since he clearly has no where to go so Merlin lets him stay. Not for free of course, he makes Arthur help with the cleaning and stuff and doesn't stand for prat behavior when Arthur acts all kingly.

Arthur gets why Emrys told him this Merlin was his Merlin despite him not having his memories or his magic. He is clumsy, he jokes, he smiles, calls him out when he's being mean, but also is there for him when he needs him. Is the Merlin he knew but more... happy. Without burdens of destiny or traumas of the past.

Meanwhile Emrys just appears when they are investigating or when there is danger coming their way, like a magical creature attack or a car Arthur failed to see when he crossed the street. Emrys never smiles or small talks, he just goes to the point and gets the job done. He is dark, but overall he is... broken.

Arthur heart eaches when he realises... he is the one who took Merlin's light. He was the one who broke him.

And that's all I have for now. I don't know how merthur would get together in this AU. What do you think?

#bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merlin #merthur #merlin prompt #merlin and arthur #arthur and merlin #merthur prompt #my merthur prompts

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xileonaaaa · 6 months ago

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Hii I loved the way you characterised Choso in ur last fic. Mind doing husband headcannons? Or nsfw headcannons if you allow it? 💖 thank you 💖💖

Hiiii, I would love to! Thank you for being my very first ask 💕. Instead of him starting off as your husband, I went with the longer approach. Hope you enjoy!

Thinking of Husband!Choso

He’s still his same old self, but now he has that much needed confidence boost, because you are his, and he is yours.

•────────•°•❀•°•─────────•

.⊹ °ʚ☆ɞ°.⭒₊

Hubby!Choso who didn’t even know that he would soon take on the role of being your husband.

Hubby!Choso who acted like your husband before he even got the official title. He’d do things for you that most normal boyfriends just wouldn’t do on an everyday basis. For example, waking up at the crack of dawn every morning just to make you breakfast, or coming home early just so he could cook your favorite meal for you. (It’s not like he did those things only on special occasions, no he did them every. single. day.)

Hubby!Choso who literally looked at you sideways when you told him that he might as well just become your husband after breakfast one morning. (He didn’t quite understand your logic, because to him, he was treating you the best he could, because he knew you deserved nothing but the best.)

Hubby!Choso who couldn’t seem to shake the thought of what marriage to you would be like. (He often thought about how you’d look walking down that aisle, with your beautiful dress flowing behind you, as you smiled at him, while he tried his best to hold back tears of joy.)

Hubby!Choso who wondered if he was really worthy of being by your side indefinitely. A half human such as himself?

Hubby!Choso who let his thoughts continue to fester, till the point where he began to literally see signs everywhere he went. For example, nightly trips to the grocery store while you were still at the school, suddenly turned into a sea of married couples, swooning over each other, and flashing their matching rings. Some couples even had children in the front sections of their carts, and Choso couldn’t help but wonder what that would be like to experience.

Hubby!Choso who realized that marriage life wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. He found that right as he was about to make his decision on whether or not to propose to you, he started seeing the more sour side of marriage. Affairs behind the partners back, relationships just somehow burning out, fights, you name it, and he’d most definitely seen it somewhere.

Hubby!Choso who laid off the idea of proposing for a while. He wasn’t sure if he was being selfish for wanting more from you, for wanting to call you his wife. (The thought of you being referred to as ‘his wife’ made him go out one evening to purchase a ring, because why not? He could just call you his wife in his head, because it wasn’t like he was going to slip that ring onto your pretty finger any time soon right?….right???) Wrong.

Hubby!Choso who then began to see this warm aura surrounding you, quite literally making you glow, and shine in every little thing you did. Sometimes, your little glow would be so mesmerizing, he’d stop whatever it was he was doing to just quietly stare at you. It was times like these he’d slip a hand into his pocket, and twirl the ring he’d bought for you, around in his fingers.

Hubby!Choso who spent alot of time thinking, and planning about seriously proposing to you. (His little fantasy wasn’t exactly doing it for him anymore.)

Hubby!Choso who spent so much time thinking, that he didn’t even notice he was causing you to worry, until you spoke up one night, after dinner.

Hubby!Choso who felt his eyes widen as you poured your heart out him, questioning him on his very odd, and standoffish behavior. He didn’t think he was acting any differently. (He was.)

Hubby!Choso who couldn’t help but try to explain himself without giving away the fact that he was seriously going to propose to you very soon.

Hubby!Choso who started going in circles, ranging from one excuse to another. He couldn’t lie to you, he just physically couldn’t. So when he saw your expression starting to turn into that of hurt, he took a deep breath and got down on one knee. (He wanted his proposal to be more extravagant but as unplanned, and unorganized as this was, he genuinely couldn’t wait to call you his anymore.)

Hubby!Choso who noticed the very abrupt change in your facial expression the minute he took a delicate hold of your right hand, massaging your fingers with his own while he gently smiled up at you.

Hubby!Choso who proceeded to explain the reason behind his very strange behavior, and how your one sentence about marriage had led him down a rabbit hole.

Hubby!Choso who had watched over a dozen marriage proposal videos, still found himself fumbling for the right words.

Hubby!Choso who couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist and turn into knots as he told you in the softest voice he could muster, just how good, and comfortable you made him feel.

Hubby!Choso who never once looked away from your gaze when he asked you if you would marry him. He found himself smiling ever so softly as he listened to your excited squeals of happiness, as you enthusiastically nodded your head yes.

Hubby!Choso who slipped his free hand into his pocket to pull out the beautiful pink ring that he’d held onto for past two months, before easing it onto your ring finger. He was so happy, he could’ve died and went to heaven right there and then.

Hubby!Choso who would’ve panicked had you not assured him that those were happy tears trailing down your cheeks. Regardless, he still stood up, and took the initiative to kiss away those tears, before pulling you into a loving hug, somehow hoping that you wouldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating against his rib cage.

NSFW:

Hubby!Choso who loved to listen you ramble about wedding preparations. He began to notice that if you ever had to leave a name for a company to call you back, you'd call yourself "Mr.s Kamo." and boy did that serve to rile him up.

Hubby!Choso who just couldn't seem to keep his lips off of yours. His self control seemingly leaving his body whenever he saw your form emerge from the bedroom wearing nothing but one of his shirts, and your wedding ring.

Hubby!Choso who was nothing like your previous partners, who were always impatient and rough with you, he was unbearibly soft in bed. Once he'd gotten the hang of all of your weak spots, he made sure you felt like you were on cloud 9, without serving to bruise your guts. It was a win-win honestly, he could watch you come undone underneath him, over and over and over again, all while cherishing your body as much as he wanted to.

Hubby!Choso who used to be an avid condom user, nowadays plunged in raw, always wanting to feel your warm walls clenching around him while he fucked you into your shared matress.

Hubby!Choso who was, and still is the absolute king of aftercare. You'd always try your hardest to keep your eyes open while he cleaned you up, just so you could tease him about the time he literally called 911 because he'd fucked you so good, you'd fallen asleep. (He thought he put you in a coma.)

Hubby!Choso who never shyed away from the opportunity to tell you all the cheesy compliments that his brain would come up with, while he cockwarmed inside you.

Hubby!Choso who never really gave you any hickeys unless you asked for them. The last thing he wanted was you experiencing any discomfort from them, or worse case scenario, you coming home saying that one of your students pointed it out. He loves when you mark him up though.

Hubby!Choso who is definietly open to having kids. He often thinks of names when the two of your are winding down for the night, tangled in each others legs, with his face buried in your plush chest.

Hubby!Choso who thinks that this is the closest to heaven he'll ever get.

Hubby!Choso who loves his wife with all of his cursed heart.

#fypシ #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #choso x reader #choso fluff #jjk choso #tumblr fyp

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thetfer · 7 months ago

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You, anon-sect, were going about your usual routine of going to the gym and hanging out with friends. After several hours in the hot sunshine, you decided to head home. Taking a seat on the train home, you heard the pleading cries of the transformed victims trapped on your feet. You had seriously abused them today, but they were just your socks and shoes, so you didn't care. Your feet were sweating like crazy, forcing both socks and shoes to absorb it all. As you wiggled your toes within them, you could tell the shoes didn't have long left before they were completely trashed.

Looking around the train car, you noticed a perfect target to TF into new ones just a few feet away from you. He was a muscular looking stud with a handsome face that you were dying to step on as an insole. The stud was also completely distracted by his phone, making it even easier to TF him without him even realizing that he's screwed. This made your cock very hard.

Sliding yourself up the row towards him, you subtly eyed him up, imagining how comfortable he was gonna be on your feet. You pulled out the TF device and set the program to “SHOES/PERMANENT”. After making sure no one was watching, you pulled the trigger on it and fired the device at the guy. There was a bright flash of light, and as it died down, Anon-sect, you expected to see your new shoes sitting on the seat in front of you, but somehow…someway, the muscular guy was still there, completely untouched by the transformation beam. This was more than confusing for you, you had done this so many times in the past. At this point, you had probably transformed hundreds of innocent lives, irreversibly reshaped into any object you deemed them to be. No one had ever resisted the effects of your device up till this point, it was outright impossible for this guy to still be human.

You pondered what might've gone wrong, looking over the device best you can without drawing too much attention. You were angry, no, Furious that he had survived your shot, so when he started chatting with you, it took everything in you to not blow up at him.

“Hey, did your little toy break? Aww, that sucks man…”, the guy across from you spoke up, sounding exactly like the dumb ‘Jock Bro’ he appeared to be. There was a hint of sympathy in his voice, which you had to hold your breath at to keep from laughing. You had just tried to turn him into your permanent footwear, and he was saddened by your perceived “broken toy”? It made you wonder, if you told him what you had planned on doing to him, would he apologize for failing to become your shoes? Man, this guy is such an easy target, it almost felt cruel…

“No, it's not broken. It's also not a toy, but if I told you what it really was, I'd have to, in a literal sense, put a foot in your mouth”, you snapped back at him, smirking slightly at your own sly word play and continued trying to suss out the fault in the device.

The guy had a dumbfounded look on his face, but then he seemed to catch on to something, “Uh…ohhh, like some kind of secret project? Aw, that's pretty cool man! I've actually got my own secret project goin’, wanna see!?”,

This guy was starting to annoy you, but not to seem suspicious, you looked up at him, faining curiously.

The guy looked overjoyed to see you interested in his so called “secret project”. He excitedly turned his phone towards you and showed you the image that was on the screen. “I snapped a pic of these awesome shoes that I want, am just waitin’ on them realizing they're supposed to be there”. Despite his obvious luke-warm IQ, it was hard not to be indeered to this guy. You were ready to write him off as a dumb meathead that would soon be imprisoned on your feet…until you actually looked at the picture on his phone. It showed a pair of white coloured High-Top sneakers, with red and black accents. You had to agree, they did look pretty awesome…however, the picture depicted the shoes on the floor of the train car, the exact same one you were in…then you realized what kind of phone this guy had…it was a TF phone.

You started to feel extremely lightheaded, your surroundings spinning rapidly around you. You looked down at your own TF device and your mistake was flashing right in your face. “Please Confirm Your Settings” was displayed on its screen. You had forgotten to press confirm, and without doing that, the device would never have fired…which meant that the bright flash of a TF beam didn't come from your device after all, but instead it came from the Muscular Jock Bro's phone!

Looking up at him in horror, you slid off your seat and landed with a thud on the floor right by the guy's nasty, beat-up gym sneakers.

“Yo, what you doin’ on the floor man…? Oh, wait! Are you tryna catch a whiff of ma feets? That's kinda weird Bro, my feet really stink, but, I guess it ain't hurtin’ no one…”, and with a confused, but friendly smile, the guy kicked off his sneakers and pressed his hot, stinky, sweat-soaked socked feet right against your face. “Oh, by the way, ma names Chad! I would ask for your name, but, I don't think shoes deserve names…”, despite retaining his air-headed bubbly himbo tone, the last line he spoke had a sinister edge to it, revealing that he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

You had become completely paralyzed shortly after landing on the floor, so you could do nothing as the guy shoved his stinking, rancid feet in your face. Was this karma…? Was the universe torturing you like this as a form of revenge on behalf of all your former victims? This was the only explanation that made sense to you. How else could you have forgotten such a simple step like press confirm on your settings, you've done that a million times! All you could do was sniff, Chad's putrid, toxic foot stink no doubt speeding up the transformation process as you felt a strange sensation in your skin.

“Uh…hey Bro!”, the guy called down to you, pretending badly to sound concerned, “you don't look so good, man…it looks like you'returnin’ whit! Are ma feets too stinky for ya!? Aw, am so sorry, Man”, his tone was dripping with sarcasm, and even worse, you could spot a very visible bulge pressing against his sweats…he was enjoying this.

His feet were so rancid, but they were the least of your concerns. With pleading eyes, you looked up at him, begging, praying he would stop this…but the look of pleasure on his face told you that was never going to happen. As he gently stroked the sizable bulge in his pants, you felt your skin get tighter, squeezing out a few tears from your eyes…you didn't want this, you didn't want to be some guy's shoes! This guy was supposed to be your shoes!! As you felt a mix of fear and anger, your transformation seemed to accelerate, causing intense pain and discomfort as your body began to contort and reshape into its new form.

Staring down at you, the guy was now smirking, excited as he watched this happening to you. “Yo!!! Bro!!!! You're ma fuckin’ shoes now!!! Hahaha, pathetic loser!!!“, the guy eagerly watched as your horrific transformation was finalized, leaving you looking exactly like the picture on his phone.

Wasting no time, the guy pulled you onto his feet, your face instantly being squashed beneath his hot smelly foot. “Oh man, you feel so good on me, so comfortable!”, he remarked, pressing his foot down hard against your insole face.

This was Hell…not only were his feet fucking toxic, but the guy himself was a huge mound of muscle, weighing at least 400 pounds. However, your situation quickly changed from bad to worse when he pulled on the other shoe. From your experience with TFing people, you obviously knew the face became one of the insoles, but you never could figure out what formed the other insole…until now.

As Chad pulled on the other shoe, you could feel his sweaty toes sliding along your dick, before his heel settled down on top of your balls…this sensation made you want to cum so hard, but you couldn't, your cock was an insole. This orgasmic pleasure soon intensified as Chad played with the shoe on his foot, as if he knew your penis was now its insole. Pleasure turned to pain as there was no way to release the tension.

“Oh please…please let me cum…oh god it hurts!!! Just let me cum, please god let me cum!!!”, you mentally begged, screamed and cried, but to release came. You were locked in eternal orgasm for the rest of your life!

“Oh f-fuck…”, that was the last thought you had before his full weight crushed down on your privets. You were in agony, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

As for the muscular guy, he couldn't help but admire the quality of his new shoes! They felt high end, and super comfortable. Testing them out with a stroll up and down the train car, he found that the shoes would contract around his feet with each step, almost as if the shoes were giving his feet a massage as he walked. “Man, it was awesome of you to turn into my shoes! Am gonna wear you everyday Bro, especially to the gym! You're ma new favorite pair now!”, he excitedly informed you, mercilessly wiggling his big thick toes on you.

You screamed at the thought of that. Everyday!? There was no way you could mentally survive that! You began to cry and plead, begging to be turned human again, but it never came. You would live out the rest of your existence on his feet, smelling, tasting and feeling every second of it at 10000X the insanity of a normal human.

Chad kept his word and wore you every single day, and to torture you even further, he also never changed his sock either. Eventually, you would begin to rot on his feet, his rancid sweat dissolving your shoe bodies. First to go was your insole cock. Chad's sweat had quickly stained it a deep orange, and once that happened, the integrity of your insole cock rapidly deteriorated with searing, blinding pain. You thought your mind was going to burn up…in fact, you hoped it would…unfortunately it stayed intact, forcing you to feel you cock and balls rot away beneath Chad's foot. Next was your face, you could both smell and taste yourself rotting, but you never died. Chad simply threw you in a closet with the rest of his rotting sneakers, leaving you to your fate in pain and agony as shoes, forever!

This is a post requested by @anon-sect Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Go check out @anon-sect and enduldge in his amazing TF stories!!

#inanimate transformation #permanent tf #inanimate tf #shoe tf #thank you #jock feet #tf story #tf caption #clothing tf

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ronearoundblindly · 8 months ago

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Dirty Water

Steve Rogers x deep sea mermaid!Reader

Prompt from this dirty ask game with our pairing from the Sun, Salt, and Shield series.

Summary: After a very long (but unofficial) courtship, where Steve is too shy to bring up your anatomy and his compatibility, a cultural misinterpretation quite literally sinks his resolve.

Warnings for smut (I'm gonna have to call this what it is and just say it's monster-f**king, or the one where Steeb gets maybe-CNC-boinked by a 'monster.' Sorry, babes. Ro's dipped a toe into the darkside for a smidge.) MINORS DNI. Poorly--or rather, not--edited and I have no idea the word count...

Steve swallows harshly and tries not to nervously splash his feet in the pool.

"What?" he chokes out.

He can't think of anything more articulate to say, not that it would matter when so much is lost in translation.

All you did was ask about the singing outside the doors of your 'room'--the retrofitted gym pool at the Avengers compound, the one is the basement without windows for your highly sensitive eyes--but he...could never have predicted why you were so curious.

"They're just enjoying themselves," he'd chuckled, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Do you sing?"

The look on your face, jaw slack and head tilting in contemplation, it should have warned him. You unfurled from your relaxed posture, the stance where your arms cross behind your back and fit atop the swell of your--he'd say tail, but it's more like your ass--rump, the rest of your body bent in a curve until your fin nearly touches the surface, and inched closer to his feet in the deep end.

"Yessssss," you hissed slowly through three rows of sharp teeth, crawling up his legs, out of the water, dripping over his lap as you braced large, webbed hands on either side of his hips.

Even in the very low light of damp room, he could see the lavender of your stare drop to his crotch.

"You sing too?"

Steve's an idiot. He didn't understand yet, so that dumbass actually began humming 'You Are My Sunshine' because nothing else occurred to him.

Then he noticed your tail glowing beneath the scales.

Then he realized you were pressing yourself to his legs.

Aaaand then Steve Rogers looked down your body to witness his knee disappearing in a spongy spot where the armoring swelled apart.

Oh god.

"What?" he now asks like an frightened teen seeing boobs for the first time.

"I make you sing?" Your broad green lips turn up in a smile. "Show me."

Suddenly, Steve's forgotten more english than you've learned. "Huh?"

Your flowing, textured hair, shapely even out of the water, sways when you cock your head to the side, looking through your lashes at him.

"How Stevie sing?"

He shivers for the first time in the cool water and lets an involuntary grunt leave his lips.

He's tried to stop himself from imagining your body and how it works to...ya know, and how he might...oh god, he's going to hell, but apparently, you've already been imagining that humans are either masturbating or fucking outside your door at all hours all the time--

--and oh shit, that means you sing as a part of sex.

He turns his head to the almost black ceiling and fails to think of anything else as the light from your body reflects in waves on every wall. He whimpers when he feels a ripple of muscle through the wet cotton of his jeans.

"Doll make Stevie sing?" Your voice is hoarse, and just as quickly as you say that by his throat, you flip back into the water. You can only breathe air for so long without hurting your throat and lungs.

He thinks he's off the hook, praying the tightness in his pants dissipates faster than they'll take to dry, but he lowers his head to find you peeking from the water, intent as ever on learning his ways.

He should be ashamed, so very fucking ashamed, of how badly he wants to take himself out of his pants and watch the wonder of those pretty eyes as he comes at the thought of you, but Steve's drowning in the hope that he can have you. It's been so long that he's wanted this, even in the most innocent ways.

Your final plea bubbles to the surface.

"Show?"

Steve inhales sharply, running a hand through his hair and licking his lips.

This is wrong, he thinks. You should not be doing this.

Yet he does it anyway because he wants to; he wants to so badly.

He sits up straight at the edge of the concrete, popping the button of his jeans and aches as he lowers the zipper. He can't meet your eye while he pulls out his semi-hard cock and fists it harshly.

You're so long that even looking away leaves your shimmering tail in sight, and he thinks he sees you rattle in excitement. It makes him shiver again, and the vibration shakes the moan escaping his tight chest.

Yikes, it does sound a bit like he's singing...

What the hell are you even doing?

Of course, he knows he's touching himself and he knows well enough how to do that, but he shouldn't be doing this in front of you, much less enjoying it. His blood is running so hot beneath his skin, though, the chilly pool feels soothing over his shins where he rolled up his pants (to no avail).

The heat floods his veins and mind to the point rational thought quiets, and Steve's eyes slither up your demure form.

Your eyes get wider and wider the more noise he makes, and his rampant imagination feeds off the sight of that gap in your scales visible as it undulates in the refraction beneath his feet.

He leans his head back and closes his own eyes at just the wrong moment.

Mid-whine, he misses the splashing sound that would have warned him you were coming, and instead Steve is pummeled by the end of your tail and topples into the pool, shocked and sputtering salty water until his body is pinned to the flat of the concrete wall he used to be perch on.

As he scrambles to toss his arms over the ledge, he feels claws dragging his jeans farther down his legs, and the fabric hangs like an anchor while the silky-slick webbing of your fingers glides up and down his thighs.

Then your tongue runs the length of his cock, making Steve moan embarrassingly loud and thrust his hips forward. If he weren't in the water, he'd be a puddle.

Pleasure races up and down his spine, fighting for dominance over the feeling of cold when he slips from the ledge and submerges briefly.

He barely registers the loss of your tongue and your quick lap of swimming before you're backing into him again.

It's on your ass, too, the soft entrance like you rubbed against his knee, but he could not have imagined what it could do--what you could do--how you could manipulate your muscles inside your tail.

He has no brainpower left to describe it. Steve just lets go, trusting your body to hold his weight as one hand grips the mossy softness of your waist and the other hand spreads over your lower back. Out of instinct, he tries to get leverage to push himself in and out of you, but that's useless.

There's a strong ripple of muscle that pulls him in, and in, and in, delicately tight on his sensitive cock and wide enough to slowly suck his balls into the massaging cavern.

Steve's eyes roll far into his head. He's going to pass out if this keeps up.

"Doll," he gasps, but it's too quiet in the slosh of the water. "Please, I'm--"

A clear, high note crescendos from the deep below, something disturbingly pure and paralyzing, and Steve can't move. He can only feel and experience a siren's song in action.

His body twitches violently before his cum is milked sensually, desperately, methodically from his cradled and ravaged pelvis, and never in Steve's long life has he ever been so fucking spent.

He whimpers when your cunt releases him, only faintly aware that he's propped on your back by his elbows as you swim to the shallow end and let him 'stand' on his shaky legs.

The screeching hinge of the door startles him.

"Cap," the junior agent yells over your hiss from the bright light spraying in, "everything okay? I heard..."

Yeah, I couldn't describe it either, Steve thinks.

He spits water from his mouth. "Fine," he huffs back, "we were...singing, and I fell in."

"Oh. Alright. Sorry to disturb you, Miss G." The man nods his apology at your hand-covered eyes and leaves.

Steve can't help but laugh like an insane person, laying to properly float in the water, uncaring what you're up to until he gently hits the stairs leading out of the pool.

Your head rises out of the water hopefully, and he cups your cheeks, still chuckling. He has zero words to describe...anything at the moment, but he can show you a human tradition of affection in return.

Shifting as easily as a feather in the water, he pulls you two together and sweetly presses his salmon lips to your seaweed pout, letting your long locs fall over his own shoulders.

Soon, he's gasping for air again, yet just before you dunk below the surface, you grin and coo at him.

"Stevie sings lovely."

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

what...the hell have i done. *hits post before final two braincells protest*

@fandom-has-taken-me-hostage @leah2901 @blogbog710 @supraveng @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81 @rogersbarber @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @jamneuromain

#dirty asks #ask game #sun salt and shield series #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfic #tw monsterfucking #deep sea mermaid #mermaid!reader #mermaid au #captain america fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america x you #fantasy au #i do not have any idea how to properly tag this HALP

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moonilit · 2 months ago

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people sometimes assign the ‘girlboss x malewife’ trop to Dickkory, when really i don’t think thats them, they both equally badass and equally traumatize, Kory is very feminine, and outside of her perception of modesty is lady like while Dick is fairly masculine, Kory was put in the damsel in destress position before while Dick is this man in command and leader all the time, what works for them is that they actually respect each other, communicate together, and let the other do what they are good at doing

Kory is a girlboss she is a worrier princess who is growing to be a strong and powerful but compassionate leader who would literally one day be a Queen! Dick is not really a malewife, a malewife would be taking on a traditionally feminine gender role leaving the more masculine ones to his wife etc. Dick doesn’t really, he didn’t even organize his apartment until kory showed up. no Dick is a king, a powerful ally, an incredible leader and a brilliant mind capable of gaining the trust and respect of the world superheros to the point they will follow him anywhere. They complement each other, they are a power couple, a King and Queen!

other tropes i could see them fall into are that add extra flavors are

Star Soulmates obviously

Favorite human

married Couple lol

(if you ship them all the way Dick would have like 17 new siblings, so: Big family older brother with many siblings plus the one who lost their own)

You can also insert extra flavor depending on how you like writing them like both are touch starved but specifically for a kind touch because they been hurt a lot. sunshine and sunshine protector but mutual because they are both each others sun and its very cold snd dark without the other around laughing and smiling. Traveling through time and space to find each others in every universe. Looks normal… but when you get to know them… they both a special kind of insane. Hot couple. Etc.

#let me know if he have feminine interest tho #I haven’t read everything for them #When Dickkory are like seven different ship tropes layered on top of each others lol #Complexly babyyy #Im not surprised ppl give it the girlboss x malewife but thats just half of that ship #Its funny when we see a healthy and powerful hetro couple our brains would try to push it a little to be less het #Because in our current view het romance is either boring or toxic or something else that is negative #Thanks a lot mainstream.#Dickkory #kory anders #koriand'r #dick grayson #This post had no basing lmao im sorry #Listen Kory being a future Queen isn’t just about how hard she can hit it requires a lot of growing and skills #She is girlbossing rulings as we speak

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jenosbliss · 11 months ago

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hii there!! can i req different tropes with the dreamies please?

🩶⌇ nct dream ! as different love tropes

pairing. gn!reader x nctdream | genre. fluff | wc. 1.5k | warnings. none

a/n. happy new year guys!! went a little personal on Jaemin's one, also if you want a bigger fic for any of the members with these tropes pls let me know 💖

MARK. childhood friends to lovers

Mark was the constant in your life just as you were in his. He was the one to pull you in when you experienced your first heartbreak or needed a shoulder to weep on, to rely on, to seek warmth and comfort in. He was the one to cheer you on for exams, to celebrate your achievements and your first relationship. He had been there all along. Hence, when he unexpectedly blurted out, "Do you think we would make a good couple?" while snuggling inside the cover with you one quiet night. You weren't too shocked by it because, in all honesty, you both knew—hell, everyone knew—that you loved one another more than simply as friends. In fact, your friends called you both ‘goners.’ “Is this your subtle way of asking me out?” he giggled trying to hide his oh not so obvious blush. “I mean like you know what I mean c’mon dude… will you be my girlfriend?” "Have I ever said no to you?" you drew nearer to him beneath the cover. “Sure.”

RENJUN. secret admirer

It started recently when small notes began to appear inside your locker and on your desk. At first you ignored them thinking it was some sort of a sick prank because who in their right mind will secretly admire you? Well, Renjun does, and ever since the day he saw you having your own little concert in the classroom after everyone had left, he has never been as certain about someone as he was about you. At first he left notes on a weekly basis afraid you might not like them but when he saw you smiling and saving all his notes he started leaving a dozen of them on a daily basis. He was going crazy because he had so much he wanted to tell you, but there was not enough room on a piece of paper. However, you were driving yourself crazy trying to identify this admirer of yours. This madness continued for a month until one day Renjun himself stood in front of your locker holding a piece of paper, "Here's your note, love.”

JENO. fake dating

You didn’t consider Jeno a total stranger, you have run into him quite a handful of times in the campus cafe and have your fair share of shy glances, very small talks and fleeting smiles. One day your ex followed you to the cafe, at first, he was begging for forgiveness but soon turned hostile, demanding a reason why you don’t want to be with him. Fearing he might do something bad; your eyes fell upon Jeno who just entered the cafe, a sweet smile playing on his lips when he noticed you. Could you have come up with a better response? Maybe but at that moment you couldn’t think of anything else. You approached him begging “Hi, I’m really sorry to put you in this mess but can you please, please pretend to be my boyfriend? My ex there-” at an instant Jeno stood up, grabbing your hand softly in his “Where is that jerk? Did he hurt you?” And with this incident you both started fake dating which soon turned real without either of you realizing.

HAECHAN. sunshine x grumpy

Everyone around you referred to you and Haechan as the opposite attracts couple, well to be very honest you didn’t consider yourself grumpy or mean, you just didn’t prefer the human race and any interaction with them of course except him. He was the literal definition of sunshine for you, the one who lightened you up, the one with whom you can leave your so-called grumpy side aside and be a little ray of his sunshine. Haechan found you in the darkest phase of your life when everyone you knew or had trusted turned their back on you, leaving you to cry alone in a dark corner. It was then when he pulled you into his embrace, radiating a warmth that felt safe and something like home, he became that last ray of hope and light that brightened you up once again. “How can you be this happy this early in the morning?” you grumbled seeing him dance while cooking in the kitchen. Ignoring your comment, he walked around the counter and extended his hand “Will you dance with me? Please, sunshine please!” rolling your eyes at his silly actions you still took his hand as he pulled you in for a little silly dance.

JAEMIN. first love

Love was a scary word for you, the reason you never experienced it before was because you wanted it to be perfect. You wanted to remember your first love with a smile on your face and not an experience which you would want to forget. You have had crushes and a few situationships and an experience of a boy you thought was definitely the one to not reciprocate your feelings when you confessed to him before. But that was it, after the last incident years ago you gave up on the idea of love, thinking it was for the pinterest girlies, those perfect ones who deserved a perfect love. But the day Jaemin came to you on that bus ride asking if can take the empty seat next to yours, the perception of love you had changed. He became your first and perfect love, he showed you everyone is worthy of love, he accepted all your flaws, he cared for you like no one has ever done –babying you included– he never shied away from confessing his love and gratitude for you, he cherished you with every breath he took. You could cry to him, with him, you could laugh with him until your stomach hurts, you could gossip with him, and you could cherish the quietness with him. He was perfect and he was yours, your first love. “OMG y/n I saw this flower growing out of the sidewalk, it reminded me of you princess.”

CHENLE. academic rivals

Chenle didn’t give a shit about studies or grades, if you ask his parents or friends, they haven’t seen so many ‘A+’ on his tests till now. It’s not like he was poor in his studies, it's just that he didn't have a reason to study. Why study if he could just get a scholarship through basketball? It was useless according to him until he met you in high school, the top student in the class if not the school. Was it love at first sight? Nah it was love at first fight for him when he accidentally hit you with the basketball during gym class and you poured a bottle of water on him as revenge (it was freezing cold that day). After that, the more he tried to approach you the more you avoided him. It was the first time when he wanted something, but he couldn't have it right away, and this ignited a fire in him. So, the only way to reach you now was through academics, and boy, he loved pushing your buttons, so he decided to compete with you… fiercely and that’s how after a few months of this rivalry you found yourself pinned against the bookshelf by him in a corner of the library. “Everything is just a competition for you… isn’t it?” you felt his breath on your face “Isn’t it for you, too?” you spat back, not breaking eye contact. “No, I did this because I am in fucking love with you.”

JISUNG. brother's best friend

You met Jisung when you were five and he was seven, he brought Sungchan back home after he sprained his ankle during the game of soccer. You remember watching him from afar, while he was talking to your mother about Sungchan’s injury when he looked at you and passed a smile. Since then, not a day passes by when you don’t think of him. At seven you had childishly asked him to marry you which he laughed at first but agreed later, promising to do so when you grow older. At fifteen he scared off a boy who kissed you on the cheek in school, saying things like you are too young for dating and you can’t date just any boy. That day, instead of crying that your first relationship ended before it could even start, you were happy, it was the day you started liking Jisung. At seventeen you confessed your feelings to him when he said the words that broke your small, fragile heart in pieces, he said you were like a little sister to him. At twenty-two he saw you going out with a man when he arrived at your apartment to celebrate your birthday. He felt something he shouldn’t have, he felt jealous, a burning rage and it was that moment that he knew he had fallen head over heels for you. “Don’t date him.” you scoffed hearing his authoritative tone. “And who are you to say that? I’m not fifteen anymore. It’s my life I can date whoever I want… you’re not my real brother.” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him “Yes I’m not your brother… so date me instead.”

navigation.

masterlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv

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babygirldilf · 1 year ago

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I think that Dean and Cas' story is truly a love story. From beginning to end, we see endless little storylines and director choices and writing choices and actor choices, we see their bond builds and builds and breaks and builds again and they ultimately have some of the most epic quotes spoken to them or by them, their story to it's core is a story about love, and how It can change even the most heartless of beings. It is also a story of so many beautiful mergings, between heaven and earth, angel and human, we see two supposed opposite beings literally fall in love infinite times over while trying to save each other again and again, and in so many ways, not always good ways, but all in good intention.

An angel of the lord saves the righteous man from hell. This is where they start. And then he continues trying to explain to him why he deserves to be saved. Why he will do it time and time again. And so he does.

They go to purgatory together, and the whole time they are there their whole mission is trying to save one another, even if it meant sacrificing oneself, because the other one is too important for them to lose, to imagine a life without, to deprive them of continuing to live like they deserve.

They always tried to keep the other one safe and close, without knowing truly why that is what they wanted.

The angel rebelled for the human. He kept doing everything for him, and the human did everything for the angel, trusted him, made him his family, and taught him what family truly meant.

They were each other soulmates, which was confusing and took some time for the angel to comprehend since he never had a soul to begin with. Maybe the human made him grow a soul, even if only figuratively, but either way, he couldn't deny the truth once it set in; it was the love he had for this human that changed him, changed everything, the entire course of the universe.

So yeah, Castiel, Angel of the Lord, Celestial being of Heaven and the Divine, let his love change him. And he became other things, like Cas and Huggy Bear and Sunshine. He let the heaven in him fall in love with the earth and never came back to the heartless soulless being he once was. He loved now and was in love, and it was so much it was enough to make him happy.

And Dean loved Cas. He loved him a lot. He saw praying as begging but only prayed to Cas. Only begged Cas to see him and understand he needs him, because love is too big a word, or too small, or too hard to let out of his throat. He let himself be hurt by Cas both physically and emotionally because as much as Cas cared for him, there were times he did not know the best ways to show it. He trusted him time and time again and gave him the benefit of the doubt until he couldn't find it in him anymore to hold against his own anger and lost it. Lost his angel to his anger while he froze in place. But he woke up in time, and prayed again to his angel to come to him, to save himself, because he loved him, he loved him so much that he let his anger die and let himself cry for his love. And Cas came to him and heard his prayer, but not the love that was too scared to be set free.

And then it was time. It was time for Cas to save Dean one last time, and the only way he could do that was by confessing his love and being happy and then abruptly being taken away forever. And he shared it all, everything they never talked about so openly before but always fucking felt and knew was there. Because not only he always loved Dean, he always really saw him, saw it all, and knew it all, but understood better than anyone that this Righteous Man did everything for love and out of love. Cas not only fell in love with the earth or with a human but with the most human aspect of this world, which was love. Dean was love incarnate, and Cas was always in Awe of him

So they loved and loved and lost each other, and it hurt like hell to think they would never have their happy ending.

But Dean and Cas had a fan base. A full on Fandom of people who loved them truly and wanted them to have a happy ending. And the writers aren't the only ones who matter in this story. We changed them too.

In my eyes, and I'm sure that in many of yours as well, Dean and Cas are happy and alive. They are together and in love, like they have always wanted to be, like they deserved to be. And it is good, and sweet, and safe, and sound.

#destiel #dean cas #dean winchester #castiel #spn #supernatural #destiel meta #spn meta

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just-a-sleepy-idiot · 5 months ago

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Roommate! Herbert West Imagine: Reader having that time of the month

Content/Warnings: Gender neutral Reader!, ties in with my previous fic of him, mild Swearing, Sexism from Dr. Hill

It‘s the 80‘s and even medicine is behind on actually understanding the reproductive health and needs of anyone they don’t consider the standard human being which directly translates into ‚white male‘. There is shame and secrecy on the topic, so you had every reason to believe that it would become immensely uncomfortable as soon as your new roommate saw you in that state. Thankfully, he was so preoccupied with his experiments at all times that you doubted he would notice if you came home one day wearing a Mohawk.

It wasn’t that you ever really saw Herbert outside of his selfmade lab in your basement. Besides his products in the bathroom, his neatly arranged self and the fact that he hasn’t starved yet you had no evidence of him ever actually using any other rooms in your shared flat. Sometimes you imagined him doing mundane tasks to fill in the blanks of never actually seeing him do any. Like ironing his many dress shirts and ties, cleaning his glasses, putting on socks. Now that you were thinking about it it may be more weird of you to be imagining that than the topic itself.

You usually hid your period products out of sight in the bath, hoping he wouldn’t find it so no awkwardness would ensue. It was simply how you were brought up, and having to pretend that this literal bodily function didn’t happen was unnerving. Especially since you realized that you had just gotten your period- and that you had no more products in the house. Fuck fuck fuck-

you just stuffed your underwear with some tissues for now, hoping to swipe some pads in the Hospital without anyone noticing. Surely you would make it till work.

Herbert already called out for you from outside, reminding you that you needed to go now if you wanted to be punctual. Before he didn’t bother waiting for you even though you were going the same way, outside of your Home one wouldn’t have assumed that you were roommates by the way he just minded his business. Lately however he started going to work with you, which rendered your watch practically unnecessary because he was always very much on time.

You came out of the bathroom and grabbed your bag, ready to go. You were very speedy today because you were trying to distract yourself from the cramps you were getting, you might need to get more than just pads from the Hospital once you were there.

What you didn’t expect was that once you arrived, your colleagues were all over you and you were thrown in to handle a full on emergency before you could even think of aiding yourself. You hurriedly waved to Herbert before you were involved in tending to multiple serious wounds of a car crash victim.

You initially planned to go around with him and look into the listing of freshly deceased patients together, as you were looking for a suitable person to test the Reagent on. And shortly after you were finally released from the patient your Roommate picked you up right after, urging you to go after your plan now so it was hard to call for a bathroom break, or rather a ‚I need to find a storage room with nobody in it and stuff my pockets with tampons‘ break. You were starting to get a headache.

Both of you were now hurriedly flipping through files, you had to be quick before someone got suspicious. Herbert had made himself known quickly with his sunshine attitude, especially since he was so keen to piss off your resident Narcissist Top Surgeon Dr Hill. It wouldn’t go unnoticed if anyone saw you two looking through confidential records.

You were surprised when Herbert stopped you by putting his hand on your arm, prompting you to pause and look up. „What?“ This was his idea in the first place, why was he stopping you now? „Y/n“ you tried to flip over to the next page, catching his eyes with slight irritation. „What, we‘re almost..“ „Y/n you’re bleeding.“ Oh.

You threw your head around to see the blood stain that formed on the back of your pants, and it was hard to tell for you if that made you go even paler than you already were today or blush with the vast embarrassment that this caused you.

This was even more embarrassing than if he had found a Tampon or something. Should you move? Quit your job? You seriously considered it while your eyes searched for a bathroom in sight, you needed to get away as quickly as possible before even more people saw it- „Um, I‘ll be back!“ you dropped the files on the counter and swiftly went for the bathroom before Herbert could say anything else.

You found the bathroom empty, thankfully, and hid in a stall to dispose of the tissues you bled through. Even if you had the time and secrecy to just go scrub the stain in the bathroom sink and wait for it to dry, blood was way harder to get off than the coffee you had repeatedly spilled over your shirt until you had approximately more of it soaking through your clothes than was left in the cup when you arrived at Dr. Hill‘s office. Which certainly is not based in a real example. At all.

You considered your options. Should you just go home and call in sick from there? No, it would be weird to not tell anyone in person that you were going home, people already saw you..

Someone cleared their throat and you froze- did someone see you come in??

„If you are.. composed right now you should open the door for a moment.“

Herbert?!? Why the heck did he follow you in? Gods if he wanted to discuss this right now- he was oblivious to personal details sometimes but he wasn’t stupid. And also a med student.

„Um, I think I need to go home early today. We can continue with the files tomorrow.“ You said, hoping he took it as a sign to not talk about the river styx situation in your pants right now.

„That’s not it, open the door and I‘ll go.“

You complied, slowly opening the stall. Herbert looked back to see if anybody was coming before handing you.. a bunch of stuff. „That should suffice, just put your pants in the plastic bag after.“ And with that he really did just.. leave, without further explanation. You looked after him and retreated back into the stall to find.. a blue pair of scrub pants and both pads and tampons stuffed into a plastic bag. He didn’t know what you preferred so he just got both.

He.. your tense expression softened, a surprised smile setting on your face. Of all people you didn’t expect Herbert to be doing this for you, and he didn’t even seem awkward or disturbed by it. Stern as always.

You changed into the new pants, took care of the rest and put the plastic bag with your stained pants in your locker to pick up after work.

Herbert had a way of flickering his gaze around in a sharp, acute way as he was always somewhat alert. Yet when you came back out and found him leaning against a wall with his arms crossed he looked at you, and softly lowered his gaze before looking back up to meet your eyes. Maybe you imagined it to look assuring, but it surely felt that way to you. „Thank you.“ He simply nodded, and you went back to look at files without him even mentioning it again.

Dr Hill likely assumed you two to be a couple and that brought you both peace and stress in a way, because now he wasn’t relentlessly flirting with you anymore and actually let you do your job. But if anything about how you did your job stood out to him he would find a reason to scold you about it. If he couldn’t have you he likely just put you and Herbert on the same list with people to put in this creepy cell with one way see through glass that he had bordering on his office if he gets the chance.

Now he was onto you as well when you returned to work, taking just a second too long to act the way you should when he came up to you in long, malignant slides promising trouble. He consciously ignored Herbert.

„Do you need someone to instruct you on your own job now? You are wasting the budget of this hospital by slacking off like that.“ He huffed, making you freeze by the sudden accusations he threw your way for the simple act of pausing for a moment. „And now you can’t even respond? Are you always this incompetent or just on your period?“ Some by standing staff quietly looked on as Dr Hill didn’t even bother lowering his voice, in fact he seemed to be pleased with this act of public humiliation. Your face turned red, what the hell was wrong with him?!?

„What an excellent example of the alarming parallels between toddlers and people of old age, Dr Hill. You really do act just like a squeamish kid rather than someone who should know better about Medicine by now.“ Herbert chimed in, approaching you two to stand beside you with his hands buried in the pockets of his coat.

„So brain death isn’t the only topic you are lacking in I see. Now, what body function can we attribute your incompetence to then if this is the logic we go by now?“ He took a step closer to him, and he really did not care for the height difference because if Dr Hill were to even lay a finger on him he would prove his intellectual inferiority in front of everyone looking. He was just staring him down as the older man was practically fuming.

„It will be a pleasure to fail you, both of you!!“ He yelled, throwing you a furious glance before turning around, „Stop wasting my time, I‘m having dinner with the Dean and I‘m sure we‘ll have lots to discuss.“ With that he left with this vague threat hanging in the air, leaving you two and the other staff who each now stopped staring after a few moments and returning to work.

You were quiet for a moment, both you and Herbert. Did he.. did he defend you there? Or was it just him trying to one up the man he so very openly despised? You looked at him now, trying to read in the ever lasting frown on his features why he did it. Why this was the second time he had came in to help you out of a highly uncomfortable situation.

He didn’t let anything on. Only later when you were both home you couldn’t bear to leave it unsaid anymore, despite the embarrassment that came from bringing up the topic. „So today um.. you really helped me. Twice.“ He shot you a glance from the kitchen, it was the first time you ever saw him use it. „Yes.“ He answered factually, somehow that made you smile a bit. You stared at the back of his head for a moment. „Thank you.“ He nodded without really turning around and let out a hum. „Why did you do it?“

That made him pause in his movements for a moment, he then turned down the stove. You saw his shoulder blades moving through the fabric of his dress shirt. He moved around some more before returning to the living room with two plates with some simple pasta.

He took a seat and handed you one of the plates, impaling some noodles with his fork.

„First, we are Reanimating the dead in your basement Y/n, I have seen worse than a little blood. Bodies are complex organic mechanisms, everything makes sense and comes together in perfect order. The only thing I defy about it is Death.“ He looked at you intensely, it seemed as if he were hesitating to say what he intended to next. Herbert scratched his neck and looked away for a moment.

„You did not leave when I was in withdrawal. This state isn’t any more pleasing to witness than it is to go through it. Well,“ he pressed his lips together. He was well versed to argue from a logical standpoint, but this now wasn’t a position he really found himself in often nor voluntarily. You understood it, though, and he found you smiling at him. „I see.. Thank you, again.“ He reciprocated your look and then turned his attention towards his food again.

He was glad that you knew what he meant. You often seemed to do so, even when he was rambling or pacing like a madman, and you understood him now too. It was.. nice.

#gender neutral reader #herbert west x reader #herbert west #reanimator x reader #reanimator 1985

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sprite-writes · 1 year ago

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failed romantics

Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader (original female character)

Summary: Secrets can’t be kept forever, and what better time to reveal them than the Enterprise night shift.

Word Count: 5,902

A/N: yay another chapter!! I have been so excited to write this one since I started this series, I hope you all like it. As always very special thanks to @lightning-writes without them these chapters would literally never get finished LOL immediately after finishing this plz go check out their bucky series; good heart (faulty machine of a man) it kills me in the best way. anyways, thank you for reading plz like + comment if you enjoyed :)

Leonard can only barely make out Kirk’s face under the dim bulb, but he is pissed enough that Jim’s mug is the last thing he wants to see. The music is loud, so goddamn loud , loud enough that the whiskey did nothing for his headache.

“This is not what I had in mind when you said you knew a place,” he yells over the music, staring down the side of Kirk's face.

“What?” the captain calls back, still oblivious to Leonard's scowl. Kirk is absent, completely distracted by the crowd, more specifically the women . His gaze filters from person to person as they pass by the table, a dumb smile on his face the entire time. If steam could come out of Leonard’s ears, it would.

“I said this isn't what I had in mind for tonight.” He reaches across the table and firmly flicks his friend’s temple.

“Hey! What's your problem?” Kirk whines. Leonard is satisfied to have gotten his attention—finally.

“You said you knew a nice place– you said it was a bar!”

“Yeah and? This is both of those things!”

“This is a goddamned petri dish!”

It is. Leonard has refused to even allow his bare skin to touch the tabletop, weary of the unknown sticky substances covering it. There are so many bodies— human and otherwise— packed into the space, it's suffocating, and certainly a fire hazard. It's gross, downright unsanitary, and fucking loud.

“You’re dramatic, Bones, it's nice enough. Loosen up! Maybe try to meet somebody. We’re only in Yorktown for a day, y’know?”

Tipsy Kirk is a fucking idiot.

Leonard recoils at the idea. The captain has gained this…habit lately. This advice-giving habit where he tells Leonard to relax, to get out there, to get laid, and every time it passes through Kirk's lips, Leonard becomes nauseous. He abhors this subject, he really does. The only thing he hates talking about more than his dating life is why he doesn’t have one. Sure, he hasn't had much of one since the divorce anyway, but whatever he did have quickly reduced to nothing after meeting Sunshine. He feels so childish even mulling his thoughts over, and how it feels pointless to consider any other woman interesting since he has already met Sunshine, who is the most interesting. Interesting and pretty. Interesting and pretty and kind. He shakes his head before he starts down his mental list (again). Somedays, it feels like his feelings will swallow him whole. It has been so long since he felt it, the wanting . Wanting to talk to her all the time, or hold her hand, or just be around her. It all makes him feel so juvenile, like he’s a lovesick teenager. She makes him feel like a lovesick teenager. It is the single most frustrating thing he’d ever experienced.

“I don't wanna associate with anyone who willingly steps foot inside this shithole,” he snaps, “C’mon man, let's go.” Kirk protests, of course, even more so as Leonard grabs him by the ear and pulls him up from the chair. He tells himself he’s doing Kirk a favor, that the last thing he needs is a hookup— that he’s certainly not taking out his frustrations on his friend.

The pair weave through the bodies, with Kirk stumbling after his friend and out the door. The cool breeze hits them like a breath of fresh air, and Leonard takes it in. Kirk, on the other hand, furiously rubs his reddened ear.

“What the hell was that for? Are you out to get me tonight?”

Leonard feels a quick pang of sympathy, regretting lashing out.

“Look, I’m sorry, but that place had me sweating like a damn sinner in church, there’s other bars, and it's getting late anyways–”

Kirk would usually push it, and Leonard could tell he wants to, which makes him all the more thankful he doesn’t.

“Fine, fine, whatever but we are drinking when we get back to the ship,” he settles, leading the way home.

Yorktown is cold and downright industrial. Leonard hates it. He would usually be thankful for a pit stop if it means he can feel non-artificial gravity, but, between the dirty club and Kirk’s antagonizing, he’s ready to be spacebound again. Both the Enterprise and the USS Endeavor are in Yorktown for the night, in the process of a personnel transfer. The streets are crawling with Starfleet members.

They walk in silence for most of the way, observing the larger-than-life city and the star crafts buzzing overhead. Leonard would be lying if he said he doesn’t feel a bit empty. Perhaps the low-lit, music-blaring monstrosity would have felt more tolerable if a certain lieutenant was with him and not stuck with the enterprise night crew.

“You know, I wouldn’t have even known that place existed if it wasn’t for Sunny,” Kirk laughs. Leonard scrunches his nose.

“She recommended that barnyard?” he scoffs.

“Oh god no, she told me to stay away from it. Said it was the grimiest place on this side of the universe. I just thought it sounded like a good time, y’know?”

Leonard stares, really stares, and wonders why he keeps expecting better of Kirk.

“You’re an idiot, and an ass. The woman gives you stellar advice, and you ignore it, and stick her with the skeleton crew.”

Kirk stops so abruptly, that Leonard stumbles over him.

“ I didn’t put her on the skeleton crew, she requested to be. You think I would make her work more than she already does? I’m not a tyrant, Bones.”

What?

“What?” Leonard says out loud. “Why would she ask to be holed up on the enterprise all leave?”

“I mean, I would too if the alternative was running into my ex and all his coworkers.”

Kirk laughs, Leonard’s head spins.

“Her ex?”

“Yeah her— she didn’t tell you any of this?”

“She said she wanted Jameson to oversee the transfer, give him more experience or something, so you put her on his night shift.”

“No? She wanted Jameson to do it because she used to be engaged to the Endeavors head of security.”

Leonard blinks. And blinks again.

“Dude, I don’t even know how to change the schedule,” Kirk adds.

Suddenly, despite talking to her everyday for close to a year, she feels unfamiliar. Engaged? He can hardly imagine it, nor does he want to. Pictures of Sunshine flash through his mind, and he clenches his fist.

“Didn’t know she had been engaged,” he feigns a casual tone.

Kirk furrows his brows.

“ You didn’t know? You of all people?” Leonard shrugs, as his stomach forms a knot. “She tells you everything, and she’s never mentioned Ryder?”

“Christ, his name is Ryder ?”

“I know! Douchebag name, right?”

He doesn’t respond for a beat, which turns into several beats. The gears in his head turn and turn. Engaged . He doesn’t understand why the idea eats at him. He himself had been married for years. So what if she was engaged? There is no reason for him to be upset that his friend—a coworker–had an ex.

He feels nauseous.

Kirk clears his throat, derailing Leonard's train of thought.

“You’re right, it’s late, we should head back,” he says, offering a reassuring smile. Leonard follows him, hands in his pockets.

“Do y’know what happened?” he asks finally. Kirk casts him a sideways glance.

“What, between them? Not a clue,” Kirk says with sincerity enough for Leonard to believe it. “She wasn’t really keen on discussing it.” He pauses and looks at the ground as they walk. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it though, Bones, I think everyone sees she’s only really got eyes for one person these days.”

“Don't start, Jim,” Leonard warns hotly, clenching his jaw.

“Start what? I’m not starting anything. I’m just laying out the facts.” Jim hiccups. “She adores you, man, like adores -”

“Sunshine ‘adores’ everyone she meets. We’re friends—good friends, but that's all.” His patience shrinks as his annoyance grows.

Jim laughs mirthlessly.

“No, Sunshine and I are good friends. Whatever you two are is something else entirely-”

“Anyone ever tell you you don't know when to shut up?” His tone is as cold as the night air, and Jim shuts up.

Leonard wishes Kirk would drop the subject, trip over a rock, or whatever it took to never have this conversation again. Really—what he truly wants is for everyone to stop dangling this hope in front of his face like a carrot. He’s not an idiot, he knows he spends more time with the lieutenant than his colleagues, hears her laugh more often, and knows her habits better.

He knows what it looks like. He also knows that he's a bitter emotionally closed-off divorcee—

He tells Jim that Sunshine is his friend because she is—and he denies wanting anything more because It's stupid to want things out of his reach.

Frustration heats his cheeks and begins to bloom into a headache. He knows Kirk means well, but that fact does little to comfort him.

“Alright, I’ll drop it,” Kirk surrenders, his voice soft. “But there is one last thing you should know,” He pauses at the crosswalk and turns to Leonard. Eerily stoic, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Leonard's breath hitched.

“Ryder’s got nothing on you in terms of looks, okay? Seriously he's like, 5’7, and his face isn't at all symmetrical-”

Leonard revs up and smacks Kirk in the back of the head harder than he ever had and feels no regret. Not even after Kirk's high-pitched “ Ouch!”

“Would you quit it! You gossip like a damn schoolgirl!”

The sign blinks at them to walk, and Leonard drags Kirk across the street, fingers digging into his arm.

“Ow, ow, I was just saying-“

“Wait a minute,” Leonard lets his friend go and smooths down his sleeve. “How do you know what he looks like anyway?”

Kirk puts himself at a safe distance from the Doctor, cradling his arm. “Well, the operations manager would usually talk to the department heads during a transfer, but Sunshine passed him off to me. I said no at first, obviously, because I hate managing, but then she finally told me she was almost Mrs. Ryder Denver. So yeah, I spoke with him a few times, just business. Have to say though, I couldn't imagine them together. He comes off as a bit of a douche.”

Leonard breathes deeply, reigning in the emotions that he doesn’t need Kirk to pick up on. The idea of Sunshine being engaged does enough to unsettle him without knowing that the man in question “ came off as a douche” . He feels something boil under the surface.

“Yeah?” is all he can strangle out.

“Yeah—He’s like a classic douchey security buff,” Kirk continues, unaware of his friend's white knuckles. “You know the kind– uptight, condescending, has one earring and thinks it's edgy-”

“Wears their uniform a size too small? Yeah, I know the type.”

“Exactly, and Sunshine is so…so-”

“Heart-of-gold?”

“Yeah! Opposites attract I guess, but I don't know, something was off.”

To Leonard, the entire thing is off. All of it. Everything . He doesn’t understand why Sunshine decided he doesn’t get to know, why it is a secret in the first place, why she almost married a douche, why he cares so damn much .

The enterprise comes into view like the sun on the horizon, and Leonard is relieved .

“Your arm’s all right?” Leonard asks, an apology without apologizing. Jim knows this and breathes a laugh.

“Yup, the ear’s fine too.”

The Doctor nods, but his eyes remain trained in front of him. Through the glass window panes, he eyes the ship, eager to hide away in the familiar place. He would have opened the door for Kirk, as a gesture, but of course, the Yorktown Federation Port has to have automatic doors. He huffs, and the artificial lights illuminate his red cheeks. They approach their home in silent tandem, their shoes clinking against the hard floors.

“You should talk to her, Bones,” Kirk breaks the quiet, head down while he taps the access code to the enterprise hull. “Ask her why she didn't mention the ex. I’m sure she has a good reason, probably one you'll wanna hear.”

Leonard wants to be mean. He wants to shake Kirk's words off with an insult and go to bed. But he swallows his pride, and it goes down like nails.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Hope. It bubbles up within his chest, and he pushes it down. Finally, the stark white enterprise interior greets him. He breathes a little easier.

Kirk stumbles over the first step— “ Woah ”-- and Leonard steadies him with a raised eyebrow. “Andorian ale finally catching up with you?”

“Pfft,” Kirk scoffs. “Couldn’t catch me if it tried.”

Leonard pauses, then laughs, the first genuine one all night, and it has Kirk grinning back.

The enterprise is empty, its residents still on the streets they just returned from. So, without restraint, they laugh, and Kirk stumbles, and Leonard forgets for a moment about the unsaid feelings under his skin.

Kirk is an idiot, and he’s a good friend.

He’s happy to banter about whatever comes out of Kirk's drunk mouth and to correct him when he takes a wrong turn in his own ship. Leonard claps his hand on his shoulder and drawls, “It’s this way, captain .”

“Uhh, no , Chekov keeps the good whiskey in his locker, this way,” Kirk insists with a point down the hallway, and Leonard is amazed at his eagerness to get blacked out the night before embarking.

“Are you out of your mind? No way. You can drink like a fish when you don't need to fly a starship in the morning.”

“What are you, my mom ?”

Christ.

“No, but I pity the poor woman,” he huffs and gestures down the hallway leading to his quarters. Kirk frowns and scrunches his nose.

“Raincheck, Kirk, c’mon.”

He begrudgingly obliges, having given his friend a hard enough time tonight anyway. The yawn that crawls out of his mouth a moment later corroborates Leonard's decision. He is tired, and Kirk shouldn't drink anymore, but he’d be lying if he said those were his only motives to end the night early.

“You win this one, Bones, but next time I swear we'll be out till sunrise,” he says between another yawn and a hiccup.

“Uh-huh. Try not to trip.” Leonard reminds himself of the virtue of patience and keeps walking.

Kirk manages to type in his room's access code all by himself, with only a moment of squinting, and a break to roll up the black sleeves of his turtleneck. Leonard is impressed, and the bar is low.

“Drink a bottle of water, and get some sleep, We’ll talk tomorrow.” he crosses his arms over his chest and waits for protest.

Kirk only hums. “You headed to your room?”

The doctor's fingers drum against the doorframe. “Was thinking I’d check in on Sunshine,” he says, blinks, and rushes out, “and the rest of the Skeleton crew, of course. Maybe medbay too, then I’ll hit the hay.” He fleetingly wonders if that sounds believable, or at least casual.

Kirk smiles a genuine smile. “Sounds like a good plan, Bones. See ya in the morning, and tell her I said hi .” Before he can react, his friend waves, and the door slides shut. Then, he’s alone in the hallways, and he has to put his money where his mouth is.

Shit .

The way to the bridge feels daunting now, like climbing Everest. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever, several pounds of emotional baggage, and a Starfleet captain breathing down his neck. He considers just going to bed, pretending he never even mentioned the whole thing. Maybe even pretend he doesn't care to get answers. He can just leave it be.

The desire to see her trumps all of it.

The halls are deserted, which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t need anyone around to watch him squirm in the elevator. A deep breath, a punch of the open elevator button and—

“I told you I don't have any threes! Go fish, again .”

He sees the back of the captain's chair first, then Starfleet-issued black boots hanging off of it. The whoosh of the door draws the attention of the room to him. Eyes sweep through the vaguely familiar faces of the night crew, all six staring at him like they are waiting for an explanation, which he doesn’t really have. The heeled black boots plant themselves on the ground, the captain's seat swivels around. His heart works double time.

“ Leonard ? Hi! What are you doing here?”

Sunshine’s got a hand of cards between her pointer and her thumb, and a sweatshirt pulled over her uniform dress, and it distracts Leonard for longer than it should. He clears his throat, and it shakes loose the feelings stuck there.

“Just thought I'd check in on our hard working night crew, who is surely on task.” He descends the bridge steps.

“Well, then, you'll be happy to hear that I am, in fact, glancing at my station every 20 minutes, and I’m the undefeated go-fish champion.”

She waves the cards at herself like a fan, legs crossed and smile wide.

“Undefeated, huh? Glad to see your talents going to good use.” Her smile gets a bit brighter, and she does a quick breathy laugh with her nose. For a moment there's quiet, and Leonard begins scrambling for a way to ask her the thing he wants to ask her. The bridge is crowded, for a skeleton crew, he thinks. The redshirt to Sunshine’s left breaks the silence before he can.

“I’m not sure if I’d call it talent…I’m pretty sure she's cheating,” they grumble, and Sunshine doesn't spare a moment, whipping the chair around. He can almost see the panic fill her eyes, like she’s just been accused of a heinous crime.

“I’m not! Are you still thinking about that last round? Because that was—”

Even Leonard winces a bit at her shrill tone, and he’s pretty sure she just woke the navigator who had fallen asleep at his station, so he claps his hands on her shoulders.

“Sounds to me like this card game has you wound like a spring,” he interrupts her before her voice jostles anyone else awake.

She pouts, lip jutted out and everything.

“Let's go for a walk,” he suggests. He doesn’t even let his nerves talk him out of it. She looks at him curiously, her eyebrows drawn.

“I dunno, I probably shouldn’t leave…”

“I’m sure someone else can deal cards while you’re gone,” he tells her, already offering his arm.

The Ensign, Leonard still doesn’t know their name, waves her off. “Go, Lieutenant, It's fine. I’m sure we can handle a few minutes without you.”

She bites her lip and cautiously loops her arm around his, leaving the captain's chair to her subordinate.

“Alright, but don’t start a new game without me,” she warns lightly.

Leonard doesn’t get nervous with her arm looped around his, really he doesn’t. He’s headfirst into this thing now, no room for nerves.

She drinks her whiskey neat, he learns, and it surprises him. Surprises him even more when she downs it like a shot.

The walk there had been quiet mostly, except for when Sunshine regaled the stories of her card game wins.

“Did you have a nice time with Kirk?” she asks politely.

“I dunno if I’d say that, but maybe Jim would disagree.”

She laughs lightly, and her finger traces the lip of the whiskey glass. He doesn’t know if it’s the best idea, but he refills her cup.

There is a beat of silence, and the conversation with Kirk pushes to the front of his thoughts. There's a heaviness on the tip of his tongue, the desire to ask why . Without really knowing how to.

“Wish I could’ve gone with you guys,” she says, her gaze downcast. There's a rare melancholy to her tone, something vulnerable woven into it.

“You could’ve,” he tells her, and her eyes pull from the table.

“I had--”

“Yeah, I know what you– I just mean–I’m sure Kirk would have given you the night off if you asked… God knows he owes you enough favors.”

“I guess,” she shrugs, “it wasn’t really the best night for it, though.”

He could go along with her lame excuse, vaguely agreeing that, yeah, there will be other nights. But the ache to know what exactly goes on in her pretty head has words tumbling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, Kirk mentioned somethin’ like that,” he mumbles, nerves permeating the sentence.

“...what?”

Shit.

“I mean, he may have-”

“What exactly did he mention?” Her tone holds a sharp undercurrent of something rare for Sunshine– anger.

Leonard runs a hand down his face, suddenly thinking of all the much more tactful ways he could have begun this. The gentle buzz of alcohol still in his bloodstream keeps him from panicking.

“Nothing terrible, just that there was someone in town you wouldn’t wanna see.”

“As if ,” she scoffs. “Kirk’s never been that vague in his life.”

“…fair enough.”

She groans miserably, fitfully pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and burying her face in the fabric.

“You were not supposed to find out like this,” she says, muffled.

“And how was I supposed to find out?” He asks quietly, like the question will frighten her away.

A sniffle comes from behind her hands–the sound tugs at his heart.

“ I don't know. Maybe someone could have told you when I’m dead and then we’d never have to have this conversation.”

He reaches for her slowly, taking her wrists in a gentle hold and pulling them away from her face, revealing her reddened nose and watery eyes. Her hands are cold, and grow stiff under his touch.

“Sunshine. It's an ex , not a damn intergalactic scandal. There are worse conversations to have,” he reasons.

“You don't get it,” she tells him matter-of-factly, pulling her hands from his touch. Embarrassment quickly heats his body, and he wipes his palms on his pants.

“I’d get it a lot more if you talked about it.” He flexes his jaw, frustration bleeding into his voice.

She narrows her eyes, punctuating her glare with a sniffle.

“If I wanted to talk about it, I would’ve.”

“With Kirk? Because he seems to get it.”

“Why are you acting so—”

“Concerned? Oh, I dunno because you’re my friend?” Exasperation colors his tone.

“I was gonna say entitled,” she grits out. Her anger comes out half-heartedly, sounding more like watery sadness than anything. “I don't tell you everything, and I don't have to. You’re not my-” She sighs. “Why does it matter? I was engaged for like, a year, and now, I’m not.”

You’re not my–

Her half sentence sticks in his mind and sends blood rushing to his head. He thinks of all the things that he is to her: a colleague, a doctor, a friend. All the things he isn’t feels like a gaping hole.

He watches her clench her fists and force her tears back.

“It matters because it upsets you enough to work the night shift,” he sighs, the anger he’s been holding seeps out of his hands like water. “I’m not pressing you for the latest gossip, Sunny. I’m asking because it would be lousy of me not to.”

She says nothing, taking in his words.

“I’m no stranger to this stuff, y’know,” he prods her gently. “My ex-wife sent me running all the way to space .” He says lightly, and the corners of her mouth twitch up briefly.

“He didn't send me running, I sent him,” she confesses, shaking her head.

“ You ?”

“Me. The thing is,” she shrugs, “it should have worked, y’know? Like on paper, it was perfect. Ryder and I were academy sweethearts, liked all the same shit, were top of our classes, blah, blah, blah.” She rolls her eyes. “Our friends used to tease us, say that it wasn't fair, and we were too in love.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” she says, sighing. Her eyes drift nowhere in particular. “It didn’t feel nice after a while though. It felt suffocating. I was half a person with him, we were Ryder and Sunshine–and that was one entity.” Her tears dry on her lashes, as she becomes entrenched in the memory.

“But the person we were wasn’t me . Because he never thought my jokes were funny, or my hobbies were interesting or my friends were cool, so I was willing to throw them all out. Eventually all that was left was him. His ideas, his wants, his needs. I was backed into a corner. I should’ve left when I realized but I loved him… and I was really scared of being alone.”

She pushes her hair behind her ears and lets out a shaky breath.

“I was a coward, and I couldn’t leave. I wanted to try and fix it, figure out who I was, and then maybe Ryder could love that person,” She shakes her head. “I was naive. Ryder always wanted someone I couldn’t be. Someone quieter or someone better at being a person. I’m always so all over the place you know? Too much for him.”

“You’re not–”

“It's okay, Len, you don't have to say anything.” she says, meeting his eyes again, taming the budding fire in his heart.

The idea of Sunshine being anything but completely herself unnerves him. Her jokes are funny, he can’t recall ever laughing as much before she boarded the enterprise. Her ramblings about xenobotany and classic earth songs never fail to catch his attention, even when he barely knows what she's talking about. Being around Sunshine is as easy as breathing, and he’s starting to need it as much too.

“Anyways, he proposed our senior year, like we weren’t a sinking ship, and I said yes and pretended like the ring wasn’t a last-ditch attempt to bring us back to life.”

Her teeth sink into her lip, her eyes dragging to her lap.

“I don't know what it was, but one night I just…broke. I couldn’t keep pretending to be someone I wasn’t, or beg to be loved.”

A few tears slide down her cheeks, she scrubs them away with her sleeve.

Leonard wants to tell her that she should never have to beg for anything in the first place, least of all love; he wants to tell her that she's worthy just the way she is. His fingers twitch with the desire to take her by the shoulders and tell her over and over that she’s perfect, that she couldn’t be too much if she tried. Sunshine has always had a magnetic pull to her, drawing in everyone she meets with her warmth. The idea of anyone taking that away from her pulls his heartstrings tight enough to snap. He holds back his anger, refraining from telling her that Ryder is an asshole who didn’t deserve a second of her time.

The wiser part of him knows that's not what he needs.

“We had planned to be on the USS Endeavor together, but I rescinded my application. I signed up to do on-planet research instead. I wrote a long letter, left it on our bed, packed up my things, and left.”

She coughs in a way that he knows is covering up a sob and takes a deep breath. The sound sends a pang of emotion through him.

“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. We were engaged, for Christ's sake, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I left him. And don’t even get me started on the fallout. We had all the same friends, and our families were so close… it was all so humiliating . Everyone expected us to live happily ever after, and then, there I was, giving him back his ring in a coffee shop.”

She knocks back the rest of her drink, like a consolation prize for getting all the words out.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Len. I never wanted you to think of me like that, as someone who would do that.”

“ Sweetheart ,” he says like a plea, calling her attention. “No one in their right mind would think differently of you for leaving something that wasn’t good for you– or at least they shouldn’t.”

She's shaking her head before he finishes his sentence.

“But I–”

“I know. You didn’t go about it the way you maybe should’ve– or the way you wanted to. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you any less… good.”

She hiccups, her chest rising and falling rapidly as another stream of tears drips down her cheeks. He can't help himself – and even if he could, he doesn’t want to – he brings both hands to her cheeks, wiping away the salty tears.

“It's alright,” he says gently, swiping his thumb under her eye again. “You’re alright.”

She nods, breaths finally evening out, and his hands reluctantly fall back onto his lap.

He remembers well the storm of feelings his divorce left him with. The gulit, the lonliness, feeling like the world was ending.

“I get it, y’know. The shitty relationship, becoming somebody you don't wanna be,” the barstool squeaks as he leans on the counter. He hasn't talked about his marriage since he told the story to Kirk years ago. It feels odd to tell it again.

“My ex and I met in college, fell head over heels, and I proposed a year later. I thought… well, we both thought we were soulmates. There was this connection between us that I’d never felt before, and I thought this must be it.”

“After a year ?” she gawks. He casts her a sideways glance and chuckles.

“A perfect year, mind you. Not a single disagreement, not a bad date– every day was straight out of a damn love story or something. Until we got hitched, that is. Then it was all disagreements.”

He anxiously taps a rhythm on the bar top. The memory still burns him now, of the fiery conflict, of the sleepless nights.

“We were the same in all the worst ways, stubborn, headstrong, prideful. We couldn't settle an argument to save our lives. It probably didn't help that I was in the middle of residency and pulling 100-hour weeks. It was miserable. I hardly recognized myself… I know I don’t have the best temper, but I never wanted to be an angry person.”

He lets out a slow breath, “I was mad as hell when she called it quits, said a lot of stuff I regret. But she was right to do it. We brought out the worst in each other, I was just too narrow-minded to see it. All this to say, I’m sure I would have taken the night shift to avoid her too.”

Sunshine rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, her thumb pressing circles into the muscle.

“I’m sorry, Len.”

He leans into her touch without thinking about it. “These things happen,” he tells her decidedly. “When something’s not right, there's nothing you can do to change that. You do the best you can with where you’re at, that's all.” He pictures himself, young and full of fire, holding onto something that had already slipped away. “Which you did, Sunshine. I know it’s hard to see now, but I promise it gets easier.”

When he drags his gaze from the mahogany bar top back to Sunshine, she's watching him curiously.

“What am I supposed to see?”

“That you were young, and scared, and you did what you needed to for yourself. Even if it's not shit you’re proud of, it makes you who you are. You learn, and it makes you better.”

She says nothing, silently considering his words for several moments. “Well, it better get easier soon, because it sucks .”

He chuckles, “That it does.”

She reaches right past him and grabs the half-empty bottle of whiskey.

“We should toast,” she says, the melancholy in her voice fading away, probably tucked back behind a wall. “To failed marriages.”

She’s already refilling their glasses and lifting hers to bump with his.

“Thought you ducked out on the whole wedding thing?” he teases.

“Fine then, to failed romantics,” she impatiently shakes the ice in her glass, “Just do it.”

He knocks his glass with hers and agrees, “To failed romantics, and night shifts, and all the other shitty stuff.”

Her face pinches as she finishes her drink. Gingerly, she takes both of their glasses and stacks them behind the bar.

Like ripping a bandage off and letting the wound breathe, Leonard feels lighter. As Sunshine hops off the bar stool and straightens her uniform skirt, he can see on her face that she does too.

“Thank you for the drink, and the talk, Len,” she says, and he waves her off.

“Don't mention it.”

“ Totally gonna mention it,” she grins, “and when the schedule suddenly gives you two days off in a row, you’ll know why.”

He laughs, and shakes his head, “I don’t think that's allowed, Lieutenant.”

“I have my ways,” she says innocently, as she saunters to the door.

He watches her go, everything she’s told him still buzzing in his head. He can hardly make sense of everything he’s feeling at once, but there's one thought that sticks out among the rest, that sits on his chest, demanding to be heard.

“Sunshine?” he calls before she’s gone, giving into his relentless mind.

“Yeah?”

When she turns around, he’s flooded with everything he’s ever wanted to tell her. How she has seeped into every part of his life since he met her, despite his once armored heart. How she doesn’t see it, but she's changed the entire atmosphere of the bridge, pouring life into it with her energy. How she's taught him how to be a better friend, a better man, even a better doctor. How she’s not too much, she's everything.

“You should know, you’re never too much, that's ridiculous. Anyone on this ship would agree in a heartbeat. Don’t know what I’d– what we’d do without you,” he rushes out. “I hope you never think you need to be anything other than who you are.”

She goes still in the door frame and observes him for a moment. He flounders in her silence, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut. She suddenly moves from the doorway, quickly striding towards him, the sound of her boots clacking on the floor. He has no time to react before she gently places her hand on his chest. She wastes no time, leaning down and pressing a warm kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” she says meaningfully, searching his eyes for a brief moment before she turns heel again. She’s out the door without him even mustering up a word to say.

His skin heats where her lips had touched him, a crackling feeling left in their place. He lifts his fingers to the skin, ghosting over the sticky remnants of her lipgloss.

He sits, dumbfounded, knowing he’s gone somewhere there's no coming back from.

#guys new chapter whaaattt #theyre so close to kissing I swear #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x you #bones x reader #leonard bones mccoy #star trek imagine #star trek alternate original series #star trek #on a cloudy day #leonard mccoy #james t kirk #star trek aos #star trek fanfiction #karl urban #chris pine

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ellena-asg · 2 years ago

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@neanderthal-pessimist

Babe, you asked about Danny's suicidal thoughts/attempt so here it is.

In 1x18 there is a moment when Danny and Steve have a talk with FBI guys and later, when boys are alone, Danny is devastated by the news about Matt's financial crimes and Steve's "what if Matt is really guilty?". Danny wants Steve to have faith in Matt (or: Danny tries to still believe in his own brother, he wants to be loyal) and there's his confession.

Very dark and painful confession: once Danny thought about suicide (and I guess/interpret that he TRIED to kill himself - and that's why Matt was always there, was there almost 24/7).

Why? Because of damn Rachel. No, it wasn't because of the divorce (he could live without her, he would be happier without her and his mental health would be much better when she's away from him). It was because of Rachel's plays. GRACIE. She used Grace against Danny, she wanted to ruin his fatherhood. She took Grace away from him and was like "You'll lose her, Daniel. I swear" ("I'll punish you, Daniel"). Once she and her mother behaved in toxic and abusive way towards Danny and then, after divorce, Rach ruined Danny's mind again. She knew well what would hurt him, what would really hurt him. She knew well that Grace was Danny's everything. Danny's forever-love. Rach knew where to hit so she hit.

So in 1x18 we can see all Danny's pain. All painful memories. It's a double pain cause it's about Gracie and now also about Matty. Matty saved him. We can say about Matt many things but yeah, he saved Danny's life. He helped Danny to be strong again. He helped him to fight for Gracie. Danny almost lost Grace, almost lost his life (literally and metaphorically) and in this moment he fears that he will lose his brother - a brother who helped him so much.

Gosh, Steve's face. He's shocked. He's terrified. He tries to stay calm but he can't - he's shaking inside. His Danny, his beloved Danny, his angel, best friend, his best human ever, sunshine of his life... Danny almost died. Almost killed himself. Danny. Suicide, fuck. Yes, Steve understands Danny's loyalty and love for Matthew BUT THIS. SUICIDE. Steve can't think about Matt now. He is focused on Danny. On Danny's old pain. He can't believe that his boy tried, thought... His strong, "there's always hope" boy... Fuck. No. God, why? Why Danny had to suffer? Why Danny has to suffer? Oh, Steve knows well that part of the pain is still there - cause Rachel still wants war. She is still mean to Danny. Her smile can't hide it. Steve knows her. He observes. He listens to Danny and believes Danny, not her.

Steve is pissed off. He was pissed off earlier when he saw Rachel's games. When he heard Danny's bitter words, Danny's fears. But now Steve has such a face like... It's the face "I wanna go back to the restaurant and...". Shout at Rachel. Tell her that she's the worst. Gosh, Steve looks here like he wants to punch her. He can't do this, he knows (plus: he doesn't want to ruin Danny's fatherhood). But in his mind he is punching her. He is shouting at her (well, maybe one day he will tell her, one day he will punch her with his bitter words, one day when Danny and Grace are safe).

Steve is here (and always will be) for Danny. He touches him. This touch is like a touch of guardian angel. And in the end he is looking at Danny and there's so much love and concern in Steve's eyes. Rachel can't hurt Danno anymore, no fucking way, he thinks.

It's such a strong scene. Danny opens his heart. Oh yes, Steve is the only one - Danny lets only him to know. To know about the darkest moment in Danny's life. Danny knows that Steve will understand. That Steve will treat this seriously. Steve is like him. And Steve is the opposite of Rachel. There's no shame, Danny. Steve loves you. Your pain is his pain. All what is yours is his.

I love that they're together SO MUCH. They're together so it will be all right. They're strong together. So strong.

I'm not a fan of Matt but it's so good that Danny had him around. Matt saved Danny and all what he did for him as a brother... It's touching. It's beautiful. All that beer, all those talks, all this time... Thank you, Matthew Williams. You saved an angel.

But... I can't believe that this Matt, this Matt that saw his brother's pain, deepest depression, that witnessed Danny's suicidal attempt... Why the hell Matt still tries to be nice (SO nice) to Rachel? Why the hell he wants her around Danny? (and Grace) Why the hell he invited Rachel for his family dinner with Danny and Grace? Why the hell he told Danny "You love Rachel, I see this"?! Why the hell he behaves like he wants to see Danny and Rachel together again (knowing well about Danny's pain and seeing well how much Steve means to Danny)? Why sometimes he behaves like HE is in love with Rach? (well, sometimes she looks at him like "I chose the wrong brother" so... hmm...).

And Rachel, geez. Why show's plot is on her side? Why no one sued her for what she did? She's guilty. She (and her mother) ruined Danny's mental health. After divorce she ruined Danny's mental health even more. Her toxic/destructive behaviour (and using Grace in her war against Danny) was the cause. Her behaviour and toxic deeds, her "I'll take Grace" pushed Danny to suicide attempt. Why didn't she face any consequences? Why are people still kind to her? Why the hell Grace lives with her? Where's "I'm sorry, Danny?" (oh, okay, there's no apology cause Hollanders are never sorry, right?).

Six months. SIX MONTHS! Six months full of deepest anxiety and depression. Six months WHOLE of that. Six months without light. Six months, for six months Matt tried to change Danny's mind. For six months there was a danger - that Danny would do it. I can imagine Matt's fear when he went to work and for those few hours per day Danny was there alone... Six months with darkest thoughts. And before and after that? Still dark. She made/makes Danny's life dark (and Steve's too, by the way).

Where's the law? Where's the justice for Danny? What an irony - he fights for other victims' justice but he as a victim got no justice.

Yeah, I know. Writers hated Danny. And Lenkov wanted Danny/Rachel so badly...

"I would not have gotten through that"

It hurts. It's blood-curdling. Danny, our bamf!Danny said that. It's generally scary to hear such words. To see other person's pain and feeling of total loss. Gosh, I can't 😭 This line kills me. It kills my heart.

(Thank you, Matthew for saving the life. Thank you, Steve for saving this life again. For giving Danny a real good life, safer and colourful. Life full of love).

#danny williams #steve mcgarrett #McDanno #h50 #grace williams #matthew williams #rachel edwards #scene analysis #1x18 #h50 meta #Rachel's worst deed

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moonspirit · 1 month ago

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More Cadet!Aruani.. pretty please? Like, literally tell everything you got, I am willing to read an entire thread of it.

Ohhh anon~ I'm glad you enjoy my cadet!Aruani haha xD I don't do it often tbh, somehow.

But nope, not literally everthing I've got! Only bit by bit, so I can savour and ruminate on the thoughts and eke it out for future posts too xD

For now, maybe... some fluff between the two will do for now?

It's a slow day in the 104th training corps. No training since all superiors are away, no exams (also far away), no titans breaching walls and creating havoc. Everyone's off somewhere or very much in somewhere and being nosy about it, there's nothing to do, nowhere to see, and Annie's sure if she doesn't open her mouth and talk to another human-shaped being, she'll go insane.

Not that she has any energy for it.

But maybe... maybe if she can find him, all she'll have to do is listen.

It's doubtful, Armin is rather popular with the people and for all she knows, he could be making the girls flower crowns and reeling off obscure fact after obscure fact to anyone who listens with gusto. On a free day like this, maybe he's not even in town. Maybe he's been whisked off somewhere by his friends. Maybe he-

And then she stops in her tracks because there he is, sitting by the canal, a book in his lap (how typical, she wants to laugh), but all alone.

Maybe he'd rather not see her though and be bothered by her empty presence when he could be reading the book in peaceful solitude.

Somehow, even if she can't nearly overturn her desire to take his time for herself, the sudden doubt roots her to the spot and she can no more walk forward. Instead she just stares at the back of his head where the pale afternoon sun warms the locks of smooth gold hair with a desolate sensation of longing taking over her heart.

Who knew loneliness could cause feelings like this. Her father would be disappointed.

But maybe she creates a darkness, or maybe she creates a void, it's lost to her which, because Armin seems to think he should turn around at that very moment and look for some reason, only to end up blinking with surprise at the sight of her lurking around the corner like a homeless kitten with "take me home" written all over its face.

It's embarrassing really, but thank god he can't see her cheeks properly at this distance.

"Annie!" he calls, a great big smile spreading over his face.

Oh, stupid. Stupid of her to think he wouldn't want to share his time. Armin's an idiot, carelessly giving everyone his time! She's just another one.

"Hi." She says, stepping into the sun to sit next to him. The canal is like the dozen others just like it in this town, nothing remarkably large or impossible to fathom; if she transformed, she'd step right over it without so much as a glance down. She's also nimble and quick on her feet, qualities her father had made certain she was aware of if only to size up an enemy by comparison - even if she were to stumble sitting down by the edge of the canal, nobody in the military would expect her to fall.

So why then, does he reach a hand out as if to catch her if she falls?

And why can't she look away from the shape of his palm?

Armin's smile is, somehow, brighter than the sun on the back of her neck. "I thought you would've gone to the market with Mina and the rest. What are you doing here alone?"

"I could ask you the same," She retorts. "You're always surrounded. How come nobody needs you today?"

There's a flash of something like the edges of disappointment in his eyes, so quick and fleeting that Annie thinks she imagines it when it's gone.

"Well, you know, I'm glad to have the day to myself," He chuckles. "It's quiet and peaceful."

"Right, and then I intruded."

"No, no," He laughs, shaking his head. "I'm glad to see you, Annie."

Annie looks away, squinting at the flowing waters. The sunshine makes it glitter in a million different ways, dazzling her until all that's left in her vision is a soft, beautiful river of light, flowing to some unknown place. In the corner of her vision, she's acutely aware that the book on Armin's lap leaves its place for the stone ground - a sign that makes her nervous, really, because it means that all of his clever little attention is now on her.

"Pretty, isn't it?" He says softly, making her look at him.

At the shape of his face, framed by a soft molten gold that flutters with the wind; at the blue of his eyes, a shade she doesn't really know the word for as it penetrates deep into her own; at the tip of his nose, always dusted an endearing pink; at the ridge of his brows, a tad stronger whenever the bangs move away in the breeze; at the set of his jaw, the shape of his lips, the-

"W-what is?" She stammers, dazed.

"The water." He laughs, and she feels so silly.

"... Right."

Some of the people back in her hometown used to believe in Gods; said calling upon their names would ease their thoughts and bring them to calm.

Perhaps she should try it, just this once, because her heart-

But then, Armin leans in, a smile just short of bashful playing on his lips.

"There's more water like this beyond the walls."

Oh god, there it is. Again. Somehow, she's glad for it.

Annie can't help but release a sigh. "I was wondering if you'd grown tired of talking about the sea. Haven't heard about it in three days."

There's everything in his laugh, embarrassment, happiness, hope the size of the sun, and then some more embarrassment. For better or worse, Annie decides, it's her favourite sound and can he please continue to laugh?

"Sorry. I'm sure I've bored you by now..."

"No," She hums, drawing her knees to her chest and closing her eyes to the warmth heating up her face. "Tell me about it again."

And he does.

And Annie decides it's her favourite story because it's kind and beautiful and better than any of the ones she grew up hearing.

This story of the sea is sweet.

#..............#this answer was supposed to be like #50 words long #...............#ahaha... i don't know.....#aruani #headcanon #armin arlert #annie leonhart #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #attack on titan #aruannie #armin x annie

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filmofhybe · 1 year ago

Text

SONGS THAT REMINDS ME OF ENHYPEN

synopsis : random songs that just reminds me of each enhypen members

pairing : ot7! Members x fem! Reader

genre : fluff, slight angst at jay sunoo and niki’s

warning : continuing words such as : but like and cuz 💀

work count: about 200-300 per member

정원 jungwon - confess to you by LIM KIM

IF ANYONE WATCHED KING THE LAND THAN YOU WILL KNOW THIS SONG IT SLAPS

this song is just so jungwon

Just imagine High school Jungwon having the biggest crush on you

Which is so cute cuz he will deffo be listening to this song

and he would be dreaming of you 24/7 and dreaming to confess to you

LIKE ALL THE LYRICS MATCHES YOU SM

and after he confessed and you said yes

He would make you listen to this song

cuz he would literally direct those lyrics to you

ESPECIALLY THE LINE “this love is so true, sent from above.”

You just blushing at how cute he is and how much he loves you

He fr is the only one you’ve been dreaming of

you guys would just sit there and listen to this song and jungwon’s smile would be so big

and his mind would just be all the times you treated him so lovingly

He would input those lyrics in your daily convo’s as well

“babe do you know your love is a sweet dream?”

“You and your confess to you pick up lines is getting out of hand wonnie..”

“But you love it don’t my lovely lover?”

“I will always love them so so much.”

Will you ever complain tho? Never.

희 승 heeseung - bad by wave to earth

STAWP CUZ HE’S SO BAD BY WTE😞😞

I can imagine a normal human being heeseung, that works in a office in the middle of Seoul

Like his life used to be so boring until he met you

The person that makes his morning so much better and less stressful

And the person that makes him try to finish work earlier so he can go home and just cuddle with you all night long

Okay but imagine this:

He’s stressed out about the day cuz he’s about to do a pile of work again

But coffee in the morning with you and the sun

And the best part is he gets to see the view of you in his shirt

Humming to BAD BY WTE WHILE MAKING HIS BREAKFAST

LIKE HOW CAN HIS DAY BE BAD WHEN HES WITH YOU??

His heart melted at that sight

You just watching him with heart eyes as he munched on your delicious breakfast

You making silly jokes from time to time as he enjoys his breakfast

THE ONLY JOKES THAT CAN MAKE HIM LAUGH

LIKE HOW CAN HIS DAY BE BAD WHEN HES WITH YOU AGAIN

wants to stay at home instead with you

But obviously he can’t but at least his morning is always better when he’s with you and your obsession with wave to earth

박종성 Park Jeongseong - save your tears by The Weeknd ft AG

I can just see him at a club as your ex boyfriend

BUT YOUR THE ONE THAT BROKE UP WITH HIM

Cuz you feel like he deserves someone better

And when he saw you at the club with your friend

Looking all happy and that

It just made him stare at you and your gorgeous figure

THE FIGURE ONLY HE CAN TOUCH

deep inside of him he’s still hurt that you guys aren’t together

But than you caught him staring at you which caused one tear to drop out of your eye

BECAUSE YOU STILL MISS HIM HOW CAN YOU NOT

So you left without looking back

Jay felt so hurt that he didn’t even realize he started tearing up

And this man decided to follow you, passing and pushing through crowds just for you

Until he found you sitting alone in a dark hallway

He kneel down and hugged you tightly

“I know you still love me”

“I do but you deserve someone better”

“Baby Save your tears for another day because I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

oh jay what a man you are honestly..

심재윤 Sim Jaeyun - Fearless by Taylor Swift

HES JUST SO FEARLESS CODED. IDC IF ANYOME DISAGREES CUZ IN MY EYES HES FEARLESS CODED.

he would be the that American type of Boyfriend even tho he’s a Australian

He would make you dance in the rain in your cute little suburban during sunshine

I can imagine you in your little white sundress while he’s in a dress shirt, sleeves rolled up and blue ripped jeans and both of you wearing the same bracelet that blings underneath the sunset

Omg he will giggling with you while you guys stretch your arms out and spin around underneath the rain

WHILE YELLING TO FEARLESS

“BABE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE CAN GET BETTER THAN THIS!”

“IN THE STORM WITH MY BEST DRESS AS WELL!!”

He’s the type to drag you head first and kiss you afterwards

Your giggles and laughers could be heard down the road

And he would run his hand through his hair to prevent raindrops to run down to his eyes

MAKING YOU ABSENTMINDEDLY MAKING YOU WANT HIM

Your neighbors are so annoyed but they don’t even want to stop you both

Cuz you both are so fearless for dancing in the rain like this

Honestly they would capture this moment and would remember it forever

Just 2 teenage loves enjoying each other’s presence while blasting to Taylor swift UNDERNEATH a sunset and storm

성훈 Sunghoon - Heaven Sent by Tevomxntana

the song title can explain why.

LIKE PARK SUNGHOON IS LITERALLY A GREEK GOD SENT FROM HEAVEN

but absolutely ppl gotta ruin it by saying hes a dickhead in the whole company.

But to you, your boyfriend, sunghoon is sent from heaven

And at the beginning of your relationship, you promised yourself you won’t get attached to this man cuz what if he’s actually a dickhead

but do you give a fuck? No.

AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS MAN IS THE SWEETEST MOST KINDEST MAN EVER

no one deserves him.

Everyone can fuck off cuz they are liars

He would do the most loveliest thing ever, hoping your feelings for him would never decay

CUZ NO ONE HAS TREATED HIM BETTER THAN YOU

Both of you are heaven sent.

Both of you are sent by God into this disgusting society but non of you cared cuz all you need is each other

And In each other’s eyes. Both of you are the most heavenly angels to ever step on earth.

“ Angel your a ten out of ten”

“I’m I now hoonie?”

“Always from the front and back.” He winks

“I’m so done with you.”

“You will never be done with me Angel.”

선우 Sunoo - Blue butterflies by JHIN

JHIN SONGS SLAPS SO HARD

you guys are sleeping on his songs please stream Blue butterflies.

Anyways SUNOOOOO!!!!

You and him in a long distance relationship :(

Sadly. (sorry Sunoo Stan’s)

Because of his busy schedules he can’t always visit you

“I wanna see you all the time…”

“Same sunoo but you need to keep the good work up so you can see me soon okay? I love you!!”

Your words of encouragement is the reason he’s here with you rn

Blue butterflies strawberry skies filled the air as you both just lay on the grass

Until darkness covered the skies and THE STARS COVERING THE WHOLE SKY

And all sunoo can say is

“You shine like the stars.”

HOW SWEET OF HIM

he pulls you into his embrace. I wanna cry he’s so soft for you

“Everything is better now when I’m with you.”

And when is his time to go, both of you just wanna cry for hours and hours

And you always question “why did you go?” But yk damn well why

Sunoo wishing you were there with him instead of miles away from him

“Your all i need tonight..”

But trust me eventually your distance will close and you both would be sleeping next to each other. But that’s when time is right..

にしむらりき Nishimura Riki - tumblr girls by G-Easy ft CA

Niki is just so Tumblr Girls. Like the song was MADE for him

Yeah the lyrics absolutely doesn’t match niki himself but yk is just so niki vibe.

I can imagine motorbike rider Niki and you just going around in Shibuya Japan at Night

While this song blast in your ears

Your arms just around his waist as wind blew your hair

BOTH OF YOU JUST LOOK SO PEACEFUL

and all niki can think of is how much he loves you

But your relationship is not as peaceful as you think it is

Both of you will constantly walk out the door after spending the night at each other’s

Acting like you don’t know each other.

Causing the closure between you both to create distance

But moving to present time

Both of you sat together looking at the Shibuya night light from afar

“Love you and I were made of glass, we’ll we ever last..?” Niki asked

That question stabbed your heart causing tears to fall out of your eyes

You know both of you were toxic in the relationship

But at the end you hope you were mature enough to handle it.

“We will I promise.”

But sadly you both didn’t because he broke up with you

thinking other girls out there are less toxic and different.

Missing everything you said was what he regret the most

Because they’re all looking the same to him.

Besides you. You were the special one and he blew it.

taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @skepvids

taglist application form is opened on my navigation post!!

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